Leading With Integrity

FRED SMITH, SR. David L. Goetz General Editor BETHANY HOUSE PUBLISHERS MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA 55438

Leading With Integrity Copyright 1999 Fred Smith, Sr. Cover by Dan Thornberg, Bethany House Publishers staff artist. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise-without the prior written permission of the publisher and copyright owners. Published by Bethany House Publishers A Ministry of Bethany Fellowship International 11400 Hampshire Avenue South Minneapolis, Minnesota 55438 www.bethanyhouse.com FRED SMITH, SR., is a noted author, speaker, and management consultant who has been advising and mentoring leaders for sixty years. A recipient of the Lawrence Appley Award of the American Management Association, he has lectured internationally on the philosophy of leadership and has been awarded two honorary doctorates. He has served as chair of four national ministry boards, including Youth for Christ and Key Life. Fred is currently director emeritus of Christianity Today, Inc., after twenty-two years of board service. Broadly published, Fred Smith is a contributing editor to LEADERSHIP. He is the author of You and Your Network and Learning to Lead. He has been a guest on Focus on the
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Family, Hour of Power, The 700 Club, and Successful Texans. He is the father of three grown children, six grandchildren, and one greatgrandchild. He lives in Dallas with Mary Alice, his wife of more than six decades. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS May I thank all those who through the long years have shaped my thinking and focused my activities as well as those who have repeatedly worked on the manuscript, especially Margie Keith, my secretary, who for nineteen years was Maxey Jarmans private secretary, and Kevin A. Miller and David Goetz, for patiently squeezing the material out of a recalcitrant author. My appreciation to Dr. John Maxwell, insightful apostle of leadership, who first got me to formulate my principles of mentoring, and to my friend William R. Waugh, Dallas entrepreneur who introduced me to Francois Fenelon. I am particularly grateful for the cooperation of my family: Mary Alice, my wife of sixty-two years, and our three mature children, Brenda, Fred Jr., and Mary Helen, all of whom challenge and encourage my thinking. Bless you all.

PREFACE

My friend Fredactually, hes more than a friend. Hes a confidant, adviser, mentor, pleasant companion, and encourager. He has guided me through some deep water; given me wise counsel; answered some of my puzzling life, scriptural, and business questions; and provided me with a wealth of material for my books and seminarsso much so that its been years since Ive written a book that did not include a few Smithisms. Leading With Integrity is an extension of Fred Smiths love for mentoring others but especially for those who aspire to spread the gospel of Christ. You will note his economy of words as he serves up helping after helping of common sense, wise and thought-provoking pearls that inspire and convict you to be more so you can do more. Fred writes to you as he has talked to me since he took me under his wings years ago. At our first meeting, I had to use scraps of paper to record his gems of wisdom. Since then Ive always brought a notepad to record his message for the occasion. He always gives me usable, transferable ideas.

One dinner session, however, says it all about Fred Smithabout who he is, and what he does, and where his heart is. That night Fred loaded me with wisdom, ideas, and insights, which filled much of my notepad. I said, Fred, you should put this in a book. He smiled and said, Ive got a better idea. I want my friend Zig Ziglar to put it in a book. His agenda is to honor Christ and to serve people by teaching them how to love God more and how to serve him and his children better. Leading With Integrity accomplishes that objective. When I read the manuscript, I later noted that I had underlined or bracketed provocative thoughts, procedures, or pearls of wisdom on ninety-seven pages. I was tempted to include a few of them in this preface but didnt because there are so many it is impossible to select the best. I predict that Leading With Integrity will become a permanent part of your life. Smithisms will become a part of your vocabulary, and most of this book will be underlined. Its goodreally good. Zig Ziglar October 1998

CONTENTS

Introduction PART I: BECOMING A WHOLE PERSON 1 / Night Dialogues 2 / My Friend Fenelon 3 / Weighing Character 4 / Staying With Your Call 5 / Essays on Christian Character PART II: DEVELOPING YOUR SKILLS 6 / Identifying the Mandate 7 / Discerning the People You Lead 8 / Challenging the Virtue of the Age 9 / Helping People Give With Joy 10 / Mentoring the Next Generation 11 / Essays on Competence Parting Comments APPENDIX: FRED SMITHS QUOTES ON LIFE AND LEADERSHIP

INTRODUCTION

IN A REAL SENSE, LEADERSHIP in industry is different than leadership in Christs church. Writer M. Scott Peck once asked me, Why dont you businessmen take over the church? Because we cant lead a spiritual church successfully, I said. Secular principles that are not anointed by the Holy Spirit are not applicable to the church. In fact, they can pollute it by bypassing the Spirit. Some principles can be transferred when they are spiritually ordained, and over the years I have been associated with some fine leaders in industry as well as in Christian work. Leading With Integrity, however, grew out of my sense that today in the institutional church weve become almost too dependent on human leadership principles. We know a great deal about effective organization through extensive research. My concern is that in the church we may be trying to do Gods work in mans way. In Leading With Integrity, I investigate the question, As we go about our work, what are we responsible for, and what do we depend on God for? One principle Ive learned is that God will not do for me what I can do for myself, but he will not let me do for myself what only he can do. God has given me intelligence and created my opportunitiesI have a responsibility to use my gifts fully. If Im not willing to do that, God has no obligation t o add his blessing to what I do. On the other hand, when I try to accomplish by human means what can be done only by spiritual means, I embezzle Gods authority. For example, no amount of carefully planned evangelistic campaigns will win souls to Christ. Only the Holy Spirit wins a soul. Nevertheless, that doesnt let us off the hook. We still have to employ the highest and most dedicated talent in seeking the lost. But winning a soul, we cannot do. We can collect numbers and add names to the membership rolls, but we cannot add names to the Lambs Book of Life. God alone can inscribe those. If we are to do Gods work Gods way, we must start with character. In Leading With Integrity, I set out principles that leaders can use to examine their character and the character of those whom they lead. Christian leaders need to examine themselves, so that with the apostle Paul they can say, Follow me as I follow Christ. Unfortunately we are not as conscious of our character flaws as we are of our inadequacies in the areas of knowledge and experience. In my sixty years in business, nobody has said, I have a flawed character. It is much easier to admit a lack of skill than to admit to a character weakness. Yet from 75 to 80 percent of the failures Ive seen have been character failures.

The church must be involved in character building, helping men and women to grow into the maturity of Christ. Leaders are responsible for modeling and encouraging character and integrity. Dr. Howard Rome, head of psychiatry at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, gave me a book in which he wrote: Few men have the imagination to grasp the truth of reality. I trust this book will stir not only your imagination but your faith to grasp the truth and reality of our potential to be awakened to the truth of Christlikeness in us. To women leaders: While I try to think inclusively, I admit my vocabulary is historically male. I am trying to improve. Part of the maleness of my writing is that I had, early on, all male teachers. I had not met or observed the many excellent women leaders I came to know. Here are a few of them: Mildred Custin, CEO of Bonwit Teller; Gerry Stutz, CEO, Henri Bendel; Evelyn Nelson, Partner, Russell Stover Candy; Helen Van Slyke, CEO, House of Fragrance; and chief among those whom I admire, the gracious, capable Mary Crowley, founder of Home Interiors. I have found that women learn and adapt to relational leadership more naturally than men. Your intuition is generally much better than ours, your desire for good relationships is stronger, and your vision just as expansive. You lead with so much subtlety and finesse. You seem to do things right because it is the right thing to do. So often I did so awkwardly what you do so gracefully. I will continually learn from you. I was interviewing a prospective corporate president, and at the close of the interview I asked him, Whats your ultimate aim? He grew quiet. I sensed he was deciding to tell me the truth. My ultimate aim, he said, is that when I face the Lord, he will say, Well done, thou good and faithful servant. There is no finer ambition. May this book help you as a leader to continue as a good, faithful servant to our Lord.

PART I

BECOMING A WHOLE PERSON 1 NIGHT DIALOGUES SELF-RESPECT IS THE KEY INDICATOR of our integrity as a person. Without personal integrity, it is impossible to have integrity in leading others. Defining self-respect is difficult, yet it is the most important of all forms of respect. It is the foundation of our accepting any other respect. We feel tentative about the respect that comes from others until we genuinely respect ourselves. After I spoke to a group of corporate officers, several of us gathered around for a bull session. One of the CEOS, with his tongue loosened by spirits from a bottle, said, Fred, you talk a lot about self-respect. How do you define it? I cant give you a dictionary definition, I said, but I can tell you how I know Ive got it. When I wake up at three oclock in the morning, I talk to the little guy inside me who is still simple, honest, and knows right from wrong. He hasnt rationalized enough to become sophisticated. He still sees things in black and white. He is the honest me. When we can talk freely, I know we respect who I am. When he turns away and wo nt talk to me, I know Im in trouble. If he says, Get lost, youre a phony, I know that Ive lost my self-respect. Instantly the CEO jumped out of his chair, circled it, and said, Man, you done plowed up a snake! Evidently his night dialogues were troubling him. A few months later, I understood his response better when I read he was under investigation. Integrity is based in character. It cost me a lot of money in a bad investment to learn that character is more important in leadership than intelligence. I had mistakenly put intelligence above character. Intelligence is important, but character is more important. One of Americas wealthiest investors said at Harvard that the three qualities he looks for in those with whom he will invest his money are character, intelligence, and energy. Character is so important because it cannot be fully evaluated but will fail at the time when we can least afford it. It is almost impossible to buttress weak character. My experience has brought me to a controversial belief about character: Character is sectionalized like a grape-fruit, not homogeneous like a bottle of milk. When we say a person has a strong character or a weak character, we assume that their character is of one piece of cloth. I have not found this to be true. Some totally honest in business are hypocritical in personal life.
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Some are trustworthy in one section of their life and untrustworthy in another. It has been important to my leadership that I build on the solid parts of a persons character. Few p eople indeed have all good sections, and few have no good sections at all. Ive always been intrigued by the story that Willie Sutton, the bank robber, cried when he had to lie to his mother about where he was. Criminals often exhibit impeccable loyalty to their own. Gang members will die for their gang. They will endure torture to maintain confidentiality. Fortunately, God is the great strengthener of character. As the ancients say, God polishes his saints with tribulation, suffering, trials, and silence. I am convinced that God is much more interested in our character than he is in our intelligence, for character is of the heart. Scripture says, Out of the heart come the issues of life. In my night dialogues with the little guy inside me, I have found that certain questions have become channel markers in my search for integrity. Does my motive have integrity? Integrity starts with motive. I cant be totally honest, for I am sinful, but I can avoid being dishonest. Dishonesty is a decision. Rationalization does more to pollute our integrity of motive than any other thing. Rationalization attempts to excuse our lack of integrity. We repeatedly hear Everyone is doing it, or Times have changed. This is the new way. Again, I had no choice if I wanted to win, or I had to go along with the majority to stay in fellowship. The justification for rationalization is that wrong ultimately will serve a good purpose. But in Gods economy, the end never justifies the means. God is more interested in the process tha n the product, since he is sovereign. It is the process that produces our maturity in Christ, which is his chief concern. After we rationalize our behavior to ourselves and to others, soon we try to rationalize it with God. That changes confession into explanation. Am I ego-driven or responsibility-motivated? When I asked a director of the entrepreneurial school at SMU, What are the common denominators of entrepreneurs? she said, Number one, they want to be in control. Number two, they want to be accomplishing. After thinking about that, I wanted to ask her whether this drive to control and accomplish is ego-based or driven by a sense of responsibility. I have known leaders with both motives. The greatest differences between the two types of leaders are the spirit from which they operate and their attitude toward others. Ego-driven people satisfy their ego from the cause, while

responsibility-motivated people sacrifice their ego to the cause. Ego-drivenness lacks Christian integrity. A friend was chairman of future planning for a large church. When he asked the pastor if there were any limitations to the planning, the pastor said, The church cannot be moved during my lifetime. The pastors ego superseded the ultimate good of the organization. The plannin g had to satisfy his ego. The leader of an organization often must ask, Is this decision based on my ego or my sense of responsibility? The inimitable Gert Behanna said it this way: Is it for God or for Gert? If its for God, I do it. If its for Gert, I dont. Do I want the truth? It requires a tough mind and a strong heart to love truth, no matter where it comes from. When we are selective in accepting truth, we are not genuine lovers of truth. A friend had lunch with a non-practicing Jew who brought up the subject of religion. His Jewish friend said he wanted his son to study comparative religion so that when he became a man he could make an informed choice. My friend asked, Would you yourself accept truth if you found it? He quickly said, No. Truth is too scary. Christian communicator Steve Brown recently visited with a well-known TV talk-show host at a social luncheon. The latter was not a believer. He asked Steve to explain Christianity. Before doing so, Steve asked, If I explain it to you so t hat you have to say that it makes sense, will you become a Christian? The TV host said, No. Then I wont waste my time, Steve replied, explaining something that youve already rejected with a closed mind. I once talked with a scientist from Oxford University who had become a Christian. He wanted his roommate to accept Christ. While this scientist had thoughtfully explained to his roommate over a two-year period the claims of Christ, always to be rejected, his roommate finally said, If I wanted to believe, I would. I dont want to believe. Truth can be warped by tradition, interpretation, clich, or current thought. Truth demands I try to know and love it for its own sake. That requires I have an ever-expanding understanding of truth and an open mind to discern truth with intellectual integrity, yet hold to the sure proposition that all human truth is flawed. The only perfect truth is the revealed truth: I am the truth, Jesus said. Without this fixed point, we easily wander off into the fallacy of relative truth, confusing human veritas with divine revelation.

Am I the pump or the pipe? I led a lay retreat for a few hundred men in the mountains near Fresno, California. The retreat began on a Friday night and ended Sunday noon; I was the only speaker. That fact came as a surprise when I arrived to speak. Late Sunday afternoon while on a plane returning to Dallas, I wondered how I could feel so normal after such a strenuous weekend. Generally I am either higher than a kite or lower than a snakes belt buckle. Instead, I felt like I had just finished a days work at the office. From that experience I learned that with Gods presence permeating the meetings, he was the source; I was only the spokesman. In other words, God was the pump, and I was the pipe. The pipe never gets tired. When I attempt to be the pump as well as the pipe, that takes more than I have. When I try to substitute my power for Gods, I become powerless, dissatisfied, even frantic and defeated. A few years back, Mary Alice and I were listening to a series of sermons by a well-known young minister who has since left the ministry. When she asked what I thought of him, I told her that I greatly admired his technical ability, his research, his eloquence and delivery, but I never sensed in his sermons spiritual power. I felt he was spiritually impotent. I kept wanting to feel the presence of the Spirit, which I never did. He later divorced his wife and left the ministry, not from lack of talent, with which he was greatly blessed, but from lack of spiritual power. The apostle Paul said, I came not in excellence of words but in power. The secret is expressed in Jim Mays book, In His Place, in which he asks the question, Are you working for God or is he working through you? Too few are t he times when I fully realize that God is using me, that what I am doing is his working through me rather than my working for him. Those who become Christian celebrities must be careful that they dont cross over the line from realizing that God is using them to thinking they are being recognized by God for their great potential contribution. We are not to be volunteers, selecting our service for God, but dedicates, letting God select our service. When God selects, he sends power. When we volunteer, we keep control, even while attempting worthwhile work. Seventeenth-century spirituality writer Michael Molinos warned, The sermons and messages of men who have a great deal of learning and information but who lack an experiential knowledge of the internal things of the Spiritsuch men can make up many stories, give elegant descriptions, acute discourses, elaborate theses, and yet regardless of how much it seems to be grounded in the Scripture, what these men give us does not contain the word of God. It is but the words of men adulterated with false gold. Such men actually corrupt Christians, feeding them with wind and with vanity. As a result both the teacher and the one taught remain empty of their God.1
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Does my will control my feelings? Integrity is more a matter of the will than of feelings. Certainly feelings are important, for without feelings we become mechanical. We are not able to connect with others or to feel empathy or compassion. Feelings energize us. They are great implementers but poor leaders. Our will must control our feelings. Our will is the single most distinguishing feature of our character. I was fortunate to have a mother with an indomitable will. In spite of many physical disabilities, she persevered, often quoting Galatians 6:9: Be not weary in well doing, for in due season you shall reap if you faint not. It was from her that we chose as a family motto that little phrase inspired by Rudyard Kiplings If: When nothing but your will says go. I remember when my mother was so sick she had to put ladderback chairs around the kitchen so she could fall from one chair to the other while she prepared meals for her family. She was indomitable, the unsinkable Molly Brown. I profited a great deal from her example; I went through twelve years of public school without missing a day. I was never encouraged to take it easy. Leadership demands a strong willnot a selfish or stubborn will, but a determined will to do what needs doing. By will we overcome our yearn for pleasure and our satisfaction with mediocrity. Our Catholic friends believe in substitutionary grace, in which the priest earns grace for the flock. I wont argue this theological point, but I will contend there is substitutionary will, which the leader must give to those in the organization who lack will. A strong will does not blind us to the importance of emotion. It does, however, wring out the rationalization and procrastination that attack us.Our will, not our feelings, must be charged with the ultimate responsibility for our actions. Is grace real for me? Grace was genuine, real, personal, and palpable to the great saints. Brother Lawrence, Frank Laubach, Francois Fenelonthese Christian mystics had no doubt they were the constant recipients of Gods amazing grace. Grace was a practic al part of their everyday life. For example, Brother Lawrence said that when he made a mistake he didnt spend any time thinking about it; he just confessed it and moved on. He reminded God that without him, to fall is natural. Before I read that, I lingered over guilt. Immediate grace was too good to be true. Brother Lawrences experience greatly released me. Nevertheless, legalism appeals to our common sense. I find it necessary to remind myself that the very Scripture that makes me know my guilt lets me know Gods grace. By refusing grace, we play God and punish ourselves. We view events as punishment. We see discipline coming when in reality it isnt discipline, its just a consequence, but we try to read into it Gods judgment.
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Why? Because we feel we deserve judgment rather than grace. Grace brings freedom. If only we could accept grace fully, then we, like Brother Lawrence, could have the freedom to admit failure and move on. Since grace cannot be deserved, why should I feel others are more worthy of it than I? What is my source of joy? An individual must have hope and joy to live abundantly. Bob Seiple, former head of World Vision, said, Hope is what we are giving the world. Our help is more than help, it is hope. We can endure almost anything as long as we have hope. When hope is gone, life is gone. Hope expresses itself in joy. My personal definition of joy is adequacy. This is the feeling expressed in the old saying, Nothin aint gonna come my way that you and me cant handle, is there, Lord? That is the joy of true security. With some, joy is effervescent, with others, quiet. But either way, it is the assurance of adequacy. Without joy, life can become difficult. Sometimes we try to avoid the ache in our heart from the lack of joy by creating synthetic joy, which is never adequate. Without genuine joy it is so easy to fall into despondency when our faith seems not to work for us, while we tell people that it will work for them. This can play havoc in our lives. I have the deepest compassion for those pastors who fall into immorality. They are not hypocrites, they are desperate leaders who have lost the joy of spiritual ministry, substituting for it the synthetic joy of illicit sexuality. The same synthetic joy can come in the drive for success. Church growth based on ego and ambition may be exciting, but it cannot be joyful in the biblical sense. No matter how far our ambition and ego take us, we ultimately will face that consequence: He gave them their desire but with it sent leanness of soul. Joy is a result of seeing Gods power work. Often this joy comes in its deepest form during times of great temptation or sorrow. Malcolm Muggeridge, the British intellectual who was a latecomer to Christianity, said in the latter part of his life that as he looked back over his life, he could see no growth in any area except during difficult times. Joy is more than pleasure; it is complete adequacy. Is my love of God growing? From childhood I have had a lot of awe of God, but Ive never been happy with my love of God. Once at Laity Lodge in the hill country of Texas, three of us friends were holding forth on our knowledge of comparative religions. The wife of one of the men, not known for her scholarship, was halfheartedly listening when she interrupted, I dont understand a thing you all are talking about. All I know is I love Jesus. At that moment, I would have swapped everything I knew for what I recognized as her deep love for the Lord.

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Some friends and I are currently studying how we can deepen our love for the Lord. We know that obedience is evidence of that, but what produces the growth? I believe that if I genuinely appreciate what Christ has done for me, my love for him will increasingly grow. Someone has said that gratitude is the weakest of all emotions. We do not stay grateful because that makes us indebted, and we dont want to be indebted. The biblical phrase sacrifice of thanksgiving was a puzzle to me until I realized that gratitude is acknowledging that someone did something for me that I could not do for myself. Gratitude expresses our vulnerability, our dependence on others. Sometimes a person whom you have helped through a severe problem will, following the solution, draw away. In some pernicious way, seeing those who supported us can remind us of the problem. On the other hand, I have found people with deep gratitude often develop deep love. One of my fondest memories involves a young man who had never made more than $15,000 a year yet was extremely talented. Three others and I backed him financially. Within a year he was making $100,000 a year, and since then he has made millions. His gratitude has deepened into genuine love. He was deserted by his father when he was very young, causing him to suffer abject poverty. Today he refers to me as his father. I am proud to have him as a foster son and a great friend. When my wife, Mary Alice, had a brain tumor removed at the Mayo Clinic, I got a call from him the night before surgery. When I asked where he was, he said he was down in the lobby. What are you doing down there? I asked. He said, I want to sit with you and the family during the operation. He had flown in to spend that four -and-a-half hours with us. I often ask myself, Do I appreciate Calvary like I should? Do I appreciate my gifts? Do I express my appreciation, and is it causing my love to grow? Once I was on a plane between Phoenix and Dallas with Billy Graham, whom Ive known since he first started work with Youth for Christ. In a break in the conversation, I asked him, Billy, youve never gotten over the surprise that God picked you, have you? He replied, Not only that, Fred, but that God has protected me. Billy not only appreciates the gift, he appreciates the protection to use his gift. I am sure his love for the Lord has grown with his blessings. Is my passion focused? Every effective leader is imbued with passion. An accomplishment is often in direct proportion to the amount and intensity of the leaders passion. Passion is contagious for followers. It sustains the leader in difficult times. Passion gives hope. I like this definition of passion: Passion is concentrated wisdom with high energy in the pursuit of meaning.

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My theologian friend Dr. Ramesh Richard said, First in life, decide on your passion. What is your first love? If you have multiple passions, youll be ripped to pieces internally, resulting in a fragmented, random life. If anything other than the Lord Jesus Christ is your first love, you will fall into idolatry. Christ is the focus of passion, insuring integrity of leadership. The advantages of passion are multiple. It brings purpose, unity, intensity, concentration, assuring accomplishment. It gives intentionality to life. Passion gives depth, keeping us from the shallowness of mediocrity. Our life becomes a welders torch rather than a grass fire. Writers have pointed out that men like Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn had an undying passion for truth and principle. Mother Teresa, a passion for the dying. Moody, Spurgeon, and Graham a passion for souls. It was Edisons passion that kept him going. Churchills indomitable passion of will gave the British their war stamina. In leadership, focused passion accomplishes much more than scholarly intellect. Passion comes from two sources. First, those with an extraordinary passion receive it as a gift, for they were created with the capacity for passion. They can unite the mind and heart and spirit. They have the ability to lose themselves in a cause, to dedicate their life to a single purpose, like Paul saying, This one thing I do, and again, I determine not to know anything but Jesus Christ and him crucified. I was listening to an older writer being interviewed by a younger one when the younger asked, If you had your life to live over, what would you do? The o lder writer said, without hesitation, Id find something big enough to give myself to. The second source of passion is the vision. The clearer the vision, the more focused the passion. If the vision becomes blurred, the passion becomes dissipated and weakened. In an organization where everyone buys into and fully understands the passion and purpose, all effort is unified with high energy. An organization without passion is a car without gasoline, a rocket without fuel. Two organizations may have the same general vision, but the one with the deeper passion will have the greater accomplishment. Passion does not always express itself the same in each leader. One may be quiet, another effervescent. The evidence is not as important as the presence. The purpose of our passion, though, must have integrity. I have heard corporate leaders complain that their employees dont have the same dedication to success that they have. When you examine this carefully, you find that the executives dedication is to his personal success, not the success of the organization. If he is honest with himself, he recognizes his ambition is a personal one; he wants self-satisfaction. In a sense, the employees by not going all-out are doing for

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themselves the same thing hes doing for himselfthey are looking out for their interests, not his. The apostle Paul, a man of exceptional passion, was willing even to be accursed if the purpose for which he was called was not accomplished. Self-sacrifice is the acid test of our passion. While passion supplies hope, tenacity, energy, and the like, it also increases vision, for it creates its own reality. It is passion that stimulates the imagination to believe eye hath not seen nor ear heard, neither has it entered into the heart of man the great things the Lord has for those who love him. I like the prayer of the old saint: O Lord, fill my will with fire. He was asking for passion with a receptive, expectant attitude toward God. A pure passion turns the ordinary into the extraordinary.

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2 MY FRIEND FENELON INTEGRITY GROWS WITH PROPER ASSOCIATION. Our friendships not only define us but develop and energize us. I have found a new, profitable companionFrancois Fenelon, the French mystic of three hundred years ago. He and Oswald Chambers are my daily counsel. They differ in that Oswald Chambers was a teacher expounding principles to a group with each person applying it to himself or herself, while Fenelon was a mentor to an individual and focused on specific situations. For forty-one years I have read Chamberss My Utmost for His Highest. I discovered Fenelons The Seeking Heart a short five years ago. After just a few pages, I was hooked. Fenelon was a contemporary and friend of Jeanne Guyon, and both suffered for their faithshe in prison for ten years and he exiled to oblivion after rising to one of the highest offices in the French court. I include seven themes of Fenelons that have been most helpful to me. Other themes of his are woven into the fabric of the rest of this book. With our lives rooted in these immutable principles, we can be like the willow tree, with branches and leaves flexible to the changing winds and the roots stable in the realities of life. 1. Self-love is subtle I have a friend who points out how self-love constantly changes to keep from being recognized. It is like the way a virus changes to avoid extermination. For example, self-love can come in the guise of guilt: How could anyone as good as I do anything that bad? Or a desire for purity might be evidence of self-lovein our wanting God to make us a showcase example, desiring to sit on the right hand of God. Even the desire to be significant, rather than the desire to do significant things, can be a form of self-love. Fenelon says, Do not listen to the voice that suggests you live for yourself. The voice of selflove is even more powerful than the voice of the serpent. Again, Self-love brings great anxiety. Or, You will be tempted to speak out in a humble tone of voice to tell others of your problems. Watch out for this. A humility that is still talkative does not run very deep. When you talk too much, your self-love relieves his sense of shame a little.1 Fenelon goes on to say, Self-love is proud of its spiritual accomplishments. You must lose everything to find God for himself alone. You wont begin to let go of yourself until you have been thrown off a cliff. He takes away to give back in a better way. He follows up by saying, Self-interest and pride cause you to reject the gifts of God, because they do not come in a way that suits your taste. He asks for nothing but death, but you desire nothing but life. Selfishly loving yourself shunts the spirit. You put yourself in a straitjacket when you are enclosed in self. When you come out of that prison you experience how immense God is and
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how he sets his children free. Be humble. Do not trust the old nature. Fenelon probes deeper: So to strip self-love of its mask is the most humiliating punishment that can be inflicted. You see that you are no longer as wise, patient, polite, self-possessed, and courageous in sacrificing yourself for others as you had imagined. You are no longer fed by the belief that you need nothing. You no longer think that your greatness and generosity deserve a better name than selflove. However, you are further tormented because you also weep and rage that you have cried at all. What your old nature fears the most is necessary for its destruction. He further warns: While on the outside you seem to be only concerned with the glory of God, the unconquered self nature deep within is causing you trouble. I am sure that you want God to be glorified, but you want his glory to be expressed through the testimony that he has made you perfect. Let me tell you that this feeds self-love. It is simply a covetous guise of the self nature. When I read that, I remembered attending Billy Grahams sixtieth birthday in Charlotte, North Carolina, when dignitaries, both in industry and religion, had lavishly praised him. He stood to acknowledge their remarks and opened by quoting the Scripture, God will not share his glory with another, and then asked that they not tempt him with their praise even though he appreciated it tremendously. It was a high moment of worship. Fenelon continues, The self-love which is the source of your faults is also what hides your faults. Self-love must be rooted out of you so that love can reign within you without opposition. Until you see yourself in Gods pure light, you really dont know yourself. There is danger in thinking that you are perfect simply because you understand what it would be like to be perfect. All your beautiful theories do not help you die to yourself. Knowledge nourishes the life of Adam in you because you secretly delight in your revelation. Never trust your own power or your own knowledge. Oswald Chambers continually repeats that the knowledge of God comes through obedience, not learning. Its possible for a person to have a head for God but not a heart for God. With our head we intellectually understandbut with our heart we obey. Occasionally I talk to someone who feels so much arrogance about his knowledge of God that I suspect if God wanted to take a vacation, this individual would substitute for him. 2. Suffering is useful Fenelon speaks of suffering as Gods exercise program, his gymnasium, and I can hear myself complaining to God, Youre getting me muscle-bound.Here are some excerpts: Suffering is necessary for all of us. You will be purified by dying to your own desires and will. Let yourself die. You have excellent opportunities for this to happen. Dont waste them. For years I have liked the saying, Never lose the good from a bad experience.

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He goes on: My God, help us to see Jesus as our model in all suffering. You made him a man of sorrows. Teach us how useful sorrow is. Fenelon writes, God never makes you suffer unnecessarily. He intends for your suffering to heal and purify you. The hand of God hurts you as little as it can. The yoke that God gives is easy to bear if you accept it without struggling to escape. The yoke, I believe, is easy and comfortable as long as we pull together with the Lord, but when we try to escape, the yoke becomes more like the bit in the horses mouth. Fenelon gives us hope by saying, When I suffer I can never see an end to my trials and when relief comes I am so suspicious that the suffering is not really over that I hesitate to accept my rest. It seems to me that to accept both good and bad seasons alike is to be truly fruitful. Accept both comfort and correction from the hand of God. Sometimes we hear people trying to define the difference between Gods discipline and Gods blessing. I dont believe that we can know, at the time, which is which. Indeed, often as we look back we can see that the discipline was the blessing. 3. One test of relation with God is peace Recently I was talking to a disturbed Christian business executive. I suggested that he immediately find a knowledgeable theologian who could help him find the spiritual source of his turmoil. Any Christian without peace needs attention. Fenelon recommends, Encourage peace, become deaf to your overactive imagination. Your spinning imagination will harm your health and make your spiritual life very dry. You worry yourself sick for no good reason. Inner peace and the sweet presence of God are chased away by restlessness. Fenelon also writes, Peace and comfort are to be found only in simple obedience. Remain at peace, for peace is what God wants for you no matter what is happening. There is in fact a peace of conscience which sinners should enjoy as they are repenting. Suffering should be peaceful and tempered with Gods comfort. Regarding the future: Live in peace without worrying about the future. Unnecessary worrying and imagining the worst possible scenario will strangle your faith. Fenelon warns that there never is peace in resisting God. Allow yourself to be humble. If you are silent and peaceful when humiliating things happen to you, you will grow in grace. The point of trusting God is not to do great things that you can feel good about, but to trust God from a place of deep weakness. Heres a way to know if you are actually trusting God with something. You will not think about the matter any longer nor will you feel a lack of peace.

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It reminds me of the story of Babe Ruth hitting that famous home run for the sick boy. As he left the ballpark, someone asked him, What if you had struck out? With a surprised look, Babe answered, I never thought about it. Peace does not mean absence of tumult; it can mean security amid the tumult. When I was a small child in church, I heard a minister tell the story of how a wealthy man wanted a picture of peace. Various artists tried different approaches, from a quiet pastoral scene to moonlit nights on the water, but the artist who won painted a birds nest in a small tree on the edge of a waterfall. 4. Silence brings blessings As I read Fenelon on silence, I was reminded of what Oswald Chambers wrote about thanking God when he trusts us with silence. Fenelon put great emphasis on the value of silencenot only environmental silence, but silence of the soul, stillness of the heart, and tranquillity of the mind. Fenelon writes, Sometimes the annoyances that make you long for solitude are better for producing humility than the most complete solitude could be. Do not seek God as if he were far off in an ivory castle. He is found in the middle of the events of your everyday life. Listen to the voice of God in silence. Be willing to accept what he wants to show you. God will show you everything you need to know. Be faithful to come before him in silence. When you hear the still, small voice within, it is time to be silent. Try to practice silence as much as general courtesy permits. Silence encourages Gods pre sence, prevents harsh words, and causes you to be less likely to say something you will regret. Silence also helps you put space between you and the world. Out of the silence that you cultivate you will get strength to meet your needs. Most of us arent silent often enough. A chief executive officer of a large corporation attended a weekend retreat recently. He told me that his most meaningful experience of the retreat was the exercise of listening to someone for ten minuteswithout saying anything. He realized how much he learned in that listening silence. 5. Growth and change are the work of the Cross Reading Fenelon made me realize how often I do not deeply understand the familiar. I repeat and hear phrases and clichs without really having the depth of understanding that I need. Fenelon has helped me to think of the work of the Crossredemptionas the constant tension of growth and change as the old nature gives way to the new. It is a process that starts with the new birth and ends at the close of our earthly journey, by which time we are, we hope, more mature in the likeness of Christ. Im reminded of the oft -quoted prayer: Lord, Im not what I ought to be and Im not what Im going to be, but thank you, Lord, Im not what I used to be.
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Some well-meaning Christians confuse the thorn and the cross. The thorn, to me, is something God puts in our lives that keeps us conscious of our dependence on him. Paul had the thorn; Jacob had the limp. The thorn is a constant reminder, but each day I must make the conscious decision to shoulder the cross and go forward. Fenelon writes, Bear your cross. Do you know what this means? Learn to see yourself as you are and accept your weakness until it pleases God to heal you. If you die a little every day of your life, you wont have too much to worry about on your final day. Then with assurance he says, You and I are nothing without the cross. I agonize and cry when the cross is working within me, but when it is over I look back in admiration for what God has accomplished. Of course I am then ashamed I bore it so poorly. 6. The focused life is the simple life God never complicates what can be done simply. The focused life is the powerful life.The saints I have read seem to have a unified priority system. They are chiefly single-agenda individuals with purity of purpose. Actually, this is what I look for in business people who are causeoriented. Those with double agendas are like those with double-mindedness, against which the Scripture warns. When we focus and screw down the nozzle, we increase the force of the water. Recently I was discussing decision-making with an investment banker. He had good advice: Once you decide what you want to do and the strategy that will accomplish it, then decision making becomes simple. You do the things that advance the strategy and avoid the things that hinder it. If, however, youre unsure or tentative about where you want to go, it is much more difficult to find the right road. Our hidden agendas can poison the simplicity of a situation. The desire to do a work for God is simple enough, but I greatly complicate it when I add the hidden agenda of wanting to be recognized and appreciated while doing it. 7. Give grace to yourself and others I can almost hear Fenelon say, Lighten up. As a person of a humorous bent, I was intrigued that nowhere in his writing does Fenelon mention specifically a sense of humor. I have always felt that humor is one way we accept our fallibility; in fact, most humor lives between where we are and where we wish we were. However, Fenelon doesnt fail to see the weakness and doesnt suggest excusing the weakness, but he emphasizes the grace, the forgiveness, the mercy. These are much stronger than humor. One of Fenelons biographers noted, He was a pleasant person to be around. He had an admirable presence. I have come to think of him as having the presence of Billy Graham, the optimism of Norman Vincent Peale, and the serving spirit of Mother Teresa, though I am sure Fenelon would rap my knuckles for writing that.
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Regarding self, Fenelon writes, Do not be surprised to find yourself overly sensitive, impatient, proud and self-willed. Realize that this is your natural disposition. Bear with yourself but do not flatter yourself into thinking you are better than you are but wait on Gods timing to transform it. Stop at once when your activities become too hurried. Do not be eager, even for good things. In another letter he writes, Dont let the compliments you receive from worthy people go to your head. On the other hand, do not let a false humility keep you from accepting Gods comfort when he sends it through others. Wouldnt it be wonderful to say in reply to a compliment, Your compliment is Gods comfort to me? About temptation he writes, Temptation is a necessary part of a Christians life. Dont be upset by even the most shameful temptation. Look at God and dwell continually in his presence. He will keep your feet from falling. Here I received some additional help from the theologian Peter Kreeft, who said that temptation becomes a sin only when we mix will with it. For example, when a wrongful thought comes into our mind, it is not sinful until by will we recall the thought or dwell on it. Fenelon doesnt encourage self-evaluation. I think the apostle Paul took this view by saying that he didnt even judge himself. Fenelon says, If you need to know youre doing well, youre not walking by faith. Constant evaluation is just a preoccupation with yourself. Constant introspection is itself a distraction. You are afraid to pray poorly but you pray best when you dont even realize youre praying. Continue to walk humbly with God without interruption. If youre shown something that should be corrected, then simply do so without becoming legalistic about it. Regarding others, Fenelon writes, The daily standards that you live by should not be relaxed in any way, yet you must deal gently with the faults of others. Learn to be lenient with the less important matters but maintain your firmness over that which is essential. Remember that true firmness is gentle, humble, and calm. A sharp tongue, a proud heart, and an iron hand have no place in Gods work. Wisdom sweetly orders all things. Stay away from people who sound good but never exhibit true fruit of the inwar d walk. Their talk is deceptive and you will almost always find them restless, fault-finding and full of their own thoughts. These spiritual busybodies are annoyed with everything and are almost always annoying. As I read Fenelon, I could almost hear him encouraging the readers of his letters the way Paul encouraged the church: Follow me as I follow Christ. Run the race with patience and complete the course and your reward will be Well done, good and faithful servant.

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3 WEIGHING CHARACTER LEADERS WITH STRONG CHARACTER have power, dignity, and integrity. Christian character is built around the divine cardinal virtues. Character develops when the mind and heart instruct the will in accepting these controlling virtues, out of which come Christlike values and actions. Divine virtues are the roots from which such values grow. The virtues are the principles. The values produce techniques, the modus operandi. Where the virtues are perverted by Satan, the character is evil. It may be strong or weak, but it is destructive. In this chapter, I will deal mainly with the development and evidence of good characterthe foundation on which to build a life of respect and worth. Fortunately our character can be strong without being perfect. Christ alone had perfect character. David, the man after Gods own heart, had faults. Peter, the disciple of Jesus, could be fickle. Moses, strong-willed and yet afraid. Abraham could lie. Bold Elijah became scared. These, and many others in Scripture, had strong character, though not perfect. When I was young I often heard the clich God can use any vessel except a dirty one. From my many years in Christian work, however, I found that God does use dirty ones, because he doesnt have any other kind to use. All of Gods children have flawed character. Those who appear flawless have not been pressured enough in their vulnerable spot. It is enough that we want solid character, for then we are teachable and reclaimable after failing. The worst flaw is to believe we are not vulnerable. We mu st always pray, Lord, lead us not into temptation, and when in temptation must believe that he has provided a way of escape. It is helpful to know our weak points: the ego, fear to confront, love or envy of money, peer pressure, sex, or private obsession. The Scripture tells us not to make a vow to God that we wont keep. Vow failure is a character matter. Evaluating others It would be helpful if we could have a load-limit sign on our character, like that on a bridge. One of my preacher friends was coming under the influence of a man of extensive wealth. As the man plied my friend with benefits, this wealthy person began to ask questionable favors. My friend broke the relation, saying to him, Im afraid I have a price, and youre getting too close to it. Personality has an effect on character, for it fosters different pressures and desires. I know a talented, wealthy young executive who is exceptionally introverted. Occasionally he talks to me about the pressures of being an introvert and his desire to change. But his introversion protects his strong desire to be right. I have rarely met a man who wanted to be right as much as he. His
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introversion protects against an overwhelming desire to be liked, to be the first to talk, to lead. A situation must build pressure to bring him out. He does his homework. He synthesizes the aspects of an issue, permitting him to be in the limelight as little as possible. He must be drawn out, while most extroverts must be reined in, either by self or others. As a leader, a friend, or a counselor, I have tried to validate the areas of health or weakness in the character of those with whom I share responsibility. I have sometimes been criticized by my associates for going to what they feel are extreme lengths to ascertain weakness and strength in a persons character. I do it for a definite reasonI dont want to be surprised. I want to know the person so I can build on his strength and buttress his weakness. Since character is the foundation of relation and accomplishment, I dont apologize for evaluating someones strengths and weaknesses. I prefer to test someone when failure is not fatal. Marines build character that will stand up under fire. They dont want failure when it counts most. To give others the benefit of the doubt sounds good, but that isnt good stewardship in leadership. Napoleon said that the most dangerous general was one who fought based on fantasy. So it is with a person trying to lead based on fantasy or ignorance of the character of his or her associates. In evaluating character, I start with the known past. Few people change character after becoming an adult. I not only quiz the person but also everyone who might be knowledgeable about him or her, particularly the spouse. Our family and close friends know our character much better than our talents. Another good method is to tell stories that get a reflex reaction. For example, a salesperson will laugh when another salesperson outwits a tough customer, but a doctor doesnt laugh when another doctor takes advantage of a patient. The ethics of the doctor will typically be higher regarding the patient than those of the salesperson regarding the customer. However, the doctor might guffaw at a story about beating the government out of taxes. Stories reveal the heart. People become involved in stories. Humor draws out spontaneous reaction, which is a window into character. In the past Ive spoken many times in Las Vegas at conventions and while there heard famous comedians. Inevitably they test the edge of social acceptance, even in such matters as ridiculing religion and God. Listen to the audiences reaction, and you have a fair evaluation of the character of a person or a crowd. Evaluating our own character In evaluating our character, we will be better judges of matters not directly involving our personal welfare. This is the basis of Americas jury system. Uninvolved individuals tend to be more open-minded and, we hope, fair-minded.

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That is one reason to have a qualified person to help make decisions when we are personally involved. We tend to feel any proposition that favors us is fair. We want the machine slightly tilted in our direction. We deserve it or at least we can rationalize that we do. Once I was on a corporate board whose director wanted his son elevated above what most of us felt was his capability. His father, normally a fair-minded, objective executive, lost reason in his campaign for his son. I would rather have sold refrigerators to Eskimos than try to convince this father his son wasnt the one deserving promotion. I have found that an outside authority figure is most helpful in difficult decisions that involve my character. I use several authority figures, for I want an expert in the area of the counsel Im seeking. One has impeccable social sense, another financial fairness, and others have further areas of expertise. It is possible they would ask my opinion on the same matter if they were involved. The critical point is the difference personal involvement makes. The ultimate question in evaluating our own character is, Do I really, truly want to be right? Do I believe right is best? One of the surest evidences of fine character is its clarity. Pure character is transparent. We say, You can see right through the person or What you see is what you get or He is all wool and a yard wide. My favorite signature is the one Jeb Stuart used in signing his letters to his commander, Robert E. Lee: Yours to count on. When I wrote notes to my mentor, Maxey Jarman, I signed them YTCO. He understood, for he had given me the story. A few years back, I was leading a seminar on speaking, which was attended by many ministers. I had used various illustrations, mostly from my own experience. One of the ministers said that he envied my exciting life because I had a lot of stories to tell. Another minister told him, Youve got the same kind of stories, but you dont want to tell them because you dont want people to see you. Clarity can be clouded by self-serving confessions. One doesnt have to be astute to recognize when a speaker is hitting two licks for himself while hitting one for God. Self-serving confession is one of the tools used most often. For example, a young speaker said, While I was valedictorian of my high school class as well as my college class and one of the youngest men to ever receive a Ph.D., I realize that God knows more than I do, and I have to be humble in his presence. I blush to think how many times I have done that. Im instructed by the verse, As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fo ol returns to his foolishness. Every time I do it I wonder. Why cant I just hit licks for God and forget myself? The seventeenth-century Christian writer Michael Molinos said, You are willing to say things about yourself to disclose your faults before others and many other such impressive things, but within you, you are justifying yourself far more than you are seeing your faults. By such means the monster within you returns again and again to esteem himself. One way we can tell if were self-serving is when we are tempted to augment what we say according to the audience reaction.

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I find confession easily turns into explanation and then into justification, or at least rationalization. Christians should not be concerned with image but with worth. The more I appreciate my worth in Christ, the less I care about my image. Our infatuation with image causes a lot of the alienation in society. We are afraid to let people get close to us for fear they will see that the image is really a mask. Our son Fred was visiting with a preacher who originally got a lot of recognition for his creativity; then he decided to focus his ministry on a few square blocks in his city. Fred took his young daughter to meet him, wanting her to know people of real substance. After reviewing what he was doing, Fred said to him, With publicity you could become famous. To which the minister replied, And shallow. Character is tested in commitment. We worship a God who commits, who covenants. The strength to commit is in character. In 2 Samuel, Ittai committed to David. When David gave him an out to join the opposition with Absalom, he said, in effect, I came to stay. When Naomi asked Ruth if she would leave, she said, I came to stay. Years ago I read a story of a pastor struggling with a small church on the frontier, eking out a living for his growing family, yet devoted to his small flock. One day an opportunity arose for him to go to a bigger church that would provide better for his family. He announced his departure, and on the day they loaded up the wagon to leave, the townsfolk gathered around, crying to see them go. As they started to leave, he suddenly pulled up the horses, the family got out of the wagon, and they started hugging their friends and unloading the furniture. They had decided to stay. Tongue control is another character issue, illustrated by the book of James. When I was a young man, I led singing for revivals in the South. I was never a good musician, but I could wave my arms enthusiastically, remembering that Billy Sunday got Homer Rodeheaver to lead singing not because he was the best musician but because he was the best cheerleader in school. A small church in an outlying suburb was without a music director, and the pastor invited me to lead singing on a temporary basis. When I agreed to come, he had a serious talk with me and asked me to promise him that I would never say a negative thing about anybody in the congregation. This was a difficult promise for me, but I kept it, and Ive never felt such freedom with peo ple in my life. Since I knew I had never said anything negative about anyone there, I could be perfectly free in conversation, without any veil of guilt. It was a lesson I wish I would have applied in other situations. Obedience builds character. Fortunately, character can be strengthened just the same as habits and reflexes can be developed. First, there must be the desire, then there must be the repetition over a long enough period for it to form into a habit. When the habit is practiced it develops into a reflex. Frank Laubach wrote of how his thinking of God constantly started out laboriously but
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as it developed, it became easier and easier until at last it became natural. That is how aspects of character are developed. Confession clears or cleans our character. Theologically, we speak of the washing of the blood. In confession we bring ourselves to this fountain, this source of cleansing. Instead of confession, often we see leaders put a spin on sin. Before we got the modern term spin, we called it rationalization. When the prophet Nathan confronted King David, David didnt run for the spin doctors. He had the character to confess and to accept forgivenessand to take the consequences. He wasnt like the chicken thief down South who when confronted by the judge replied, Guilty, and waive the hearing, to which the judge asked, What do you mean, waive the hearing? He replied, I done it, and I dont want to hear any more about it. David did not turn against God when he had to suffer the consequences of his sin even though he was forgiven. Character grows strong under pressure, suffering, loss, tribulation, and failures, in which the mind gets experiences and the heart gets convictions. Character is the element that makes us stand when we want to run, to live when it would be easier to die, to fight for right in a losing cause, saying with Abraham Lincoln, Id rather fail in a cause that will ultimately succeed than succeed in a cause that will ultimately fail. Disciplined decisions As leaders, our decisions determine the character of our organizations. We cannot afford to make exceptions for ourselves. If the president takes company material for personal use, that excuses others. In fact, a little dishonesty at the top encourages much more at the bottom. Dishonest handling of expenses, for example, is inexcusable. I have seen some leaders overlook or excuse small dishonesties as a way to glue the organization to the leader through guilt. They may even call this perks. The leader is responsible for keeping options in line with right character. If honesty is the best policy, then it must be the only policy. At Genesco, where I worked as an executive, the president was firm in saying, If it has to be done, then it can be done right. If it cant be done right, it doesnt have to be done. This pressured us to come up with creative options to accomplish what needed to be done when others took shortcuts. Character decisions must be disciplined decisions. Decisions made for any of the following reasons invariably prevent leaders from building character in an organization. 1. Trying to maintain control. It is the natural tendency of leadership to protect its position. Such leadership structures the organization for personal control, not for leadership development. This might be acceptable in corporations, but not in Christian work. Once I was involved in a ministry

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reorganization that raised the control question: Is this work his or His? Did it belong to the leader or to God? I have heard leaders say, God called me to lead this organization, and I wanted to ask, For what purpose? That you might have a lifetime job, or that the mission of the organization might be best accomplished? Generally a leader who is control-driven is serving self more than God. This desire for control is a major character issue. There are times in emergencies when unified control is necessary for survival, similar to giving the president wartime powers, but only in emergencies, not as a way of leadership. Dictators do not develop strong leaders for succession. Once I was asked if Id be interested in becoming president of a manufacturing corporation that had a long-term dictatorial leader who had recently died. I knew my team approach would not be profitable, for the subordinates had been taught to act on orders, not to think through solutions. I couldnt in good conscience ask people who hadnt taken responsibility for results for years to begin to think for themselves. The corporation needed a younger dictator to keep the company successful. Recently a long-term pastor told me how difficult it is for a new pastor to follow one with a long service history. When the old pastor is even a quasi dictator, it becomes impossible for the first or second new pastor after him to succeed. Usually by the time the third pastor comes along, he is able to change the system to fit his style. Historically, a benevolent dictator with great ability is the most efficient leader for most organizations over the time of his service. Long term, however, he is frequently a detriment to the health of the organization after he leaves. In corporate management I was taught that the perpetuity of the healthy organization is managements first responsibility, and so leadership development at all levels is of prime importance. Successful succession is a leaders responsibility and often a test of his character. 2. Trying to outdo the competition. Another pitfall for good character decisions is competitiveness. I believe in healthy competition in business and athletics, but not in spiritual service. We Baptists joke about our pattern of growth, which is to fight, split, and compete, all the time talking of how God is blessing us as we outdo our competition. The parachurch movement would never have grown so large if Christian denominations could cooperate rather than compete. Today, with the proliferation of parachurch ministries, every function other than funerals, weddings, and baptisms can be done with the parachurch emphasis. The church retains the ritual while the parachurch siphons off much vital leadership and financial support.

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Now, as always, evangelism, spiritual discipline, Bible study, and financial support are normal functions of the established church. But the parachurch brought changes in methodology that the church was reluctant to accept. In some places, churches are beginning to adapt. The church can learn much from the parachurch movement. Cooperation is a character decision that can be marred by competition between leaders and organizations. There is one situation in which all Christians would be happy to work togetherpersecution. Sometimes I think we are tempting God to send persecution just to let us experience our oneness in him. While I have found much to differ on with the brilliant Harvard professor Dr. Harvey Cox, I wholeheartedly agree with his observation: Christ united the church and man divided it. I wish I could believe all differences among religious leaders were an effort to purify the faith, but I would have to check my intellectual integrity at the door to believe it. Most strong leaders have strong egos, and ego satisfaction is a character fault in Christian work. It is always good to remind myself that Christian leadership is flawed. Some flaws show more than others and in different ways. After reading Oswald Chambers, I try not to be surprised at sin in any of its formsdisappointed, yes; surprised, no. Once I was playing golf with a well-known Christian leader. Riding together as partners, we came to his ball and found it fairly deep in the rough. He looked across the fairway and saw that the others were not looking, so he kicked his ball out to the edge of the fairway. Shortly before that, he had been lecturing me about the inerrancy of Scripture, fearing I was not thrilled with the divisions the argument was causing. Seeing him kick his ball out of the rough weakened his theological authenticity. 3. Refusing to admit mistakes. A friend went through a terrible experience when he served on a board that allowed itself to be bullied out of holding an honest position. The financial pressure became too great. Repeatedly some of the board members would surreptitiously bring up the possibility of reversing an action they had taken, without stirring the hostility of the opposition. My friend asked, Why dont we just say that we were wrong and acted hastily without proper consideration, and now were going to reverse our decision? He said, That sent them into fits of denial. In finances we learn to take a loss as soon as possiblecut the loss, dont throw good money after bad; only obsessive gamblers do that. By the same logic, leaders must name and claim mistakes as soon as possible. Minimize the loss, and start remedial actions immediately. 4.Protecting an individual at the expense of the organization. Another area of Christian character applies to references. I have found asking for character references among the Christian community to be useless. Too often we rationalize our tolerance and compassion or our fear of making enemies. Why not tell the truth? If we know a person has character flaws, why not protect the organization that is inquiring? If we prefer not to talk, then say so. Character requires that we not give someone a reference he or she does not deserve.
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5. Hiring or promoting people based on politics. Generally we see a persons strengths first and experience his or her weaknesses later. Hiring and promoting with integrity means acting according to record and gifts, not according to politics, relations, or influence. A leaders first question should be, How will this appointment help the organization to fulfill its mission? not Will the person vote my way? 6. Playing loose with the truth. I originally listed lying as one of the flaws in character decision-making. However, I know few Christian leaders who actually intend to lie. Once I was speaking at the Billy Graham Center in Wheaton to a large group of ministers. I asked them why, on a Monday morning at one of their ministerial meetings, they were not more truthful with each other. It seemed that all who spoke were claiming the blessing of God and a great outpouring of the Spirit. As I got to know some of these men, some were struggling to maintain their zeal and balance. At the close of the session, a young pastor of a small church chided me by saying, Fred, youre suggesting we commit professional suicide. If we told each other the truth, wed be dead. Another twisting of the truth is when a preacher says, God told me as persuasion. Leaders must have integrity of vocabulary, including avoiding pious babble not understood by nonbelievers and not believed by many believers. In my long experience with Christian organizations, I have seen too many special visions from God play out in less than divine ways. Some ha ve failed miserably. One business executive publicly bragged that God ran his business, and later it went into bankruptcy. I think such leaders are basically sincere, but rather than hearing Gods voice, they hear an echo of their own desire voiced to God. Most of the time I have found that Gods will comes in an orderly fashion, in circumstances evidenced by several praying individuals. I asked a great man of God from the East how Christians in that part of the world determine Gods will. He said, The fir st who has the impression shares it with others. We pray and watch circumstances. If favorable circumstances start to coalesce, we pray more and wait until we are unified in spirit. Then we start, knowing that if it is not his will, he will impress us to stop it. We remain open to stop. There is real mysticism in this but no magic. The eternal God does not have to have everything done during our administration. Maybe we should build a foundation and others the superstructure, while still others finish the job. One plants, another waters, another reaps, and God gets the glory. The person of God needs integrity of character not perfect character, but strong enough to build and lead an organization with integrity and honesty of purpose.

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4 STAYING WITH YOUR CALL RECENTLY I ATTENDED A WIDELY ADVERTISED, elite conference for Christian leaders preparing for the future. It was well presented, well attended, and impressive. When they asked for my evaluation, I pointed out that the material presented was the same material I had presented years before in speaking to the presidents conference of the American Management Association. It was good management and leadership methodology but not spiritual. No one at that conference discussed maintaining the spiritual vitality of the leader, the most important element in Christian leadership. The new methodology does not depend on the presence of the Holy Spirit but upon research and human leadership. The church is a spiritual organization, not a human one. Human methods work in business but eventually drain the power and effectiveness of a spiritual endeavor. Human methods can grow a church, build an impressive facility, create exciting programs, and develop strong leadership, but not spiritual leadership. If we define the churchs success by human criteria, then human methods work, and work well. However, if the churchs success is measured by new birth, not new members; by maturity, not activity; and by fellowship, not by member entertainment, then scriptural leadership is necessary. God is as interested in the method as he is in the results. Human methods assume Christian leaders are ranchers, not shepherds. But those called to be shepherds are not equipped by gift or ambition to be ranchers. The danger is that the call will turn into a profession, that the spiritual leader will possess the same motivation, personality, and skills that the corporate executive does. Human leadership is motivated by power, prestige, and money (including perks). The system is set up to provide these, which are not the motivations of a spiritual leader. Most pastors do not have the ambition, competitiveness, or toughness of most CEOS, and their master is the Lord, not a board of directors or stockholders. I have spent many years in American industry, both as an officer and a board member, as well as serving many years as chairman of several national ministries. The purpose of the corporation and the purpose of the church are very different. The church is not a corporation. The church exists for relationship with God and other believers, not for profit. It is more a living organism than an organization. The members are not employees to be hired and fired based on their efficiency. Let me define power, prestige, and money as motivation: the power to perpetuate the leaders control as well as the life of the organization; to institute programs and procedures and see that they succeed, penalizing those who fail; to arrange people by results and reward loyalty; to

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combine with others in mergers or acquisitions; to influence ones successor and, ultimately, to control ones personal destiny. In prestige this type of leader gets recognition, respect for himself and his organization. This person is catered to, often attaining celebrity status. Prestige gives him social and political inclusion among the elite. He can join the best clubs, be elected to positions of power, honor, and influence. With financial reward he finds security as well as the good life, meaning comfort and often luxury, which often rewards such a leader much more than he deserves because he, in reality, controls the system.

Power, prestige, and money appeal to most of us, and to use methods that produce these will continue to be a temptation. I have seen spiritual leaders seduced into leaving their calling and becoming professionals in the American religious industry, which utilizes these same motivations and rewards. Unfortunately, they become ambitious, egotistical, metallic, and remote, only interested in people who advance their agenda. Self-love has taken over. Those promoting this methodology predict dire results for those who stay with old -fashioned, out-dated methods. Others predict that only the megachurch will survivethat small churches may not be viable. But I think hist ory shows small flocks will always be effective. The churchs basic functions have been and will be the salvation of the lost, the maturing of the saved, and the fellowship that encourages Christian living. This can be done in a small group as well as in a large one. The church still faces, no matter its size, two basic questions: Can Christ be Savior without being Lord? and Are members customers or distributors? The church of any size is faced with the temptation to make the irresponsible comfortable. Spiritual leadership In business I was taught not to criticize anything without having something better to recommend. Therefore I felt frustrated in criticizing those Christian leaders who I felt had forfeited their calling for a professional position. Im not enough of a theologian to do an exhaustive Bible study defining spiritual leadership. Nor can I be happy coming up with a theoretical definition based on my own opinion. As I wrestled with this problem, I suddenly thought of spiritual leaders I have known and their common denominators. I made a list of the outstanding qualities of three specific men, out of the many I have known, who are leading successful ministries (accomplishing their goals). These three with whom I have worked for years personify to me spiritual leadership. These three would not remind you of each other if you met them separately. They are not cookiecutter characters. They obviously have accepted their uniqueness and are not trying to portray an accepted image. I am positive, however, that if they met together, there would be instant harmony and absolutely no competitiveness. Youd be impressed by each ones confidence yet
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genuine humility. They dont talk humbly, they are humble. They have no hint of false humility. Their confidence is in their calling. When God calls, he equips with gifts and opportunities. Each is highly intelligent; two won high academic honors, and Im not sure about the academic achievements of the third. They have an intellectual curiosity that keeps them current yet a wisdom born of scriptural principles that keeps them wise. They do not look on their intelligence as a separation between themselves and others. Rather, they use it to serve others. Like a doctor who uses his health to serve the sick, so they use their intelligence and wisdom to serve the less knowledgeable. All have a keen sense of personal relationship with God, both in doing his will and ultimately in being judged by him. Their goal is to hear Well done, good and profitable servant. Like the servants in the parable, they expect God to ask them about their profitability to him, not their personal enjoyment or celebrity status. (On the contrary, leaders seduced by power, prestige, and money may hear the Lord say, You got your reward on earth. There is very little left for you up here.) Their self-love has been lost in the cause of Christ. These spiritual leaders seemingly delight in anonymity. They dont seek honors or take time to do activities just for recognition. They, like Mother Teresa, would rather work than be honored. They quickly give any honor or recognition to others. Anonymity contributes to Christian solitude and meditation. Focus is a great time-saver. Their vision is accreted, not impetuously arrived at by some special three A.M. revelation from God himself. They understand the power of genuine consensus and participation in a shared vision that all accept as having come from God. They never mandate vision on their organizations. Each organization is exceptionally lean. Administration is a necessary evil and must be done as efficiently as possible in order to minimize the time and energy devoted to it. These spiritual leaders select associates according to gifts and passion, knowing that work delegated to people with the proper gifts and passion needs little supervision, only coordination to move the vision forward. None of them is cursed with the need to be needed. They are anxious for others to get the credit. Each defines the intended accomplishment of the organization very specifically. It may be to change thinking, develop attitudes, influence behavior, or accomplish a specific mission. No matter what the organization is doing, it is well disciplined in getting defined results. These leaders are not interested in maintaining a pro gram. If theres no wheat coming out of the thresher, they shut it off. I have been impressed at how quickly they stop nonproductive activity. Each is a creative thinker. Their minds range outside of the box. Knowing what they are trying to accomplish, they are able to see the opportunities as well as the problems.

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Each has an unmistakable freshness to his life, as if the Spirit is continually pouring power into him. They have a deep peace, with no continual judging of themselves about whether they are doing what they ought to do or succeeding as they ought to succeed. There seems to be a deep spring of joy in their lives, and though they laugh very differently, they all laugh easily. They seem to have no image to protect and therefore are able to be personable on a one-on-one basis. Something good today Let me tell you a story I told two of these spiritual leaders: Several years ago I had a major operation in the Methodist hospital in Rochester, Minnesota. My wife said she felt sorry for the doctors and hospital staff because she knew how executive I could be, meaning how controlling I could be. She knew Id quiz the doctors about their qualifications, as pleasantly as possible, but as thoroughly as possible. For example, I had found out that the surgeon who was to operate on me had been on vacation, so I asked him to make me his second operation that day; I wanted him to get his hand back in the swing of things before he cut me. He laughed, and actually complied. Then my wife knew I would put my management eye on the hospital, asking why they did what they did and why they arranged things the way they did, hoping to make some improvement. I was to be in the hospital a week, which would give me lots of supervising time. But something happened that changed all that. As I sat in the waiting room to be admitted, I was paged to the counter and asked to put all my valuables in a safety deposit box for the duration of my stay. As I put my watch, wallet, and other valuables in, it suddenly occurred to me that my ego was the asset I most valued, and I decided I would put it in the box with the other valuables. That meant I had to be totally submissive to the doctors and nurses, and cooperate with anything they asked. I kept my resolve for the entire week and never had a more enjoyable week in my life. I never knew what a relief it could be not to be establishing the pecking order with people, not to be focusing on the differences but the similarities. I found the joy of community rather than the responsibility of leadership. Many nights I was awake, and the nurses would visit me. Other times I listened to the radio, both classical and jazz. Late one night the program was recordings of Bix Biederbeck, and the disc jockey read off the side men, including Bill Rank on trombone. It brought back a wonderful memory of finding that Bill Rank worked for me on the night shift in the plant after Dixieland jazz had lost its marketability. I remember talking to Bill about his time playing with Bix and encouraged him to get back into music. With the return of the popularity of Dixieland, he did just that.

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The point of the story is that in the middle of the night, one of the nurses came in and said, Im going to ask something of you that Ive never asked of another patient in my life. When I nodded agreement, she said, Down the hall we have a young woman who is dying, without a single flower in her room. You have nineteen arrangements. Could I take one to her? She is a black girl without anyone with her. I pointed to a beautiful arrangement made up of exotic flowers from Hawaii, sent to me by the Highland Park Presbyterian Church. In the middle was a beautiful bird of paradise. I suggested she take that. About thirty minutes later, the nurse came in choked with emotion and started walking around the room. She walked to the foot of my bed and squeezed my big toe and left the room. She was essentially saying, Tonight we did something good. I can never forget that feeling. Sometimes when Im not sleeping at night, I wish the Lord wo uld squeeze my toe and say, We did something good today. The spiritual leaders whom I write about identified with that story. We did something good today is their hearts desire. Im sure if I let all three leaders read this, they would not identify themselves in this chapter. They may see in it something of what they believe they try to do, but they would not be egotistical enough to think of themselves as spiritual leaders. Spirituality is somewhat like wisdom. If you think youre wise, youre not. As Oswald Chambers said, To be spiritual by effort is a sure sign of a false relation with God. A flexibility born of faith As I think about spiritual leadership, I become convinced that the key is the Holy Spirit energizing and directing the leaders uniqueness and gifts by giving him or her a vision that creates a passion. I have never known a lazy or confused leader who had a clear sense of passion. For twenty years Ive been writing for Christian leaders. Ive spoken to many groups, both large and small. I realize that it is a difficult time to be a Christian spiritual leader in an almost totally secular society whose great renewed interest in spirituality is cultish, not Christian. Christian leaders have lost much of the respect they once had in society. Burnout is common. Depression is almost epidemic. And stress seems to be growing. Immorality and divorce seem to be increasing. Short tenure is becoming too common. More and more preachers and teachers are faced with the demand for entertainment in their message and excitement in their programs. Could a major part of the problem be that leaders have lost their vital identification with the Lord? Have they become convinced they work for the church rather than for God? Those who feel they work for a church board surrender their authority in spiritual leadership. I believe there is a flexibility in spiritual leadership that is based on faith in Gods provision and direction. It is a calling, not a career. I have great respect for a prominent minister who privately
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says, I would be glad to get out of the ministry if God would let me off the hook. In fact, if he doesnt keep me in it, I want out of it. It is possible, even probable, that some in Christian leadership are misplaced. Leaders who are not endowed with gifts energized by the Spirit become easy prey to the human methodology of leadership. This opens them to the temptation of power, prestige, and money. The three individuals I have been discussing never show any signs of insecurity in what they do. They seem to have the flexibility born of faith. They didnt manipulate their way into leadership, nor are they going to manipulate their staying there. They have a calling to fulfill, not a profession to pursue. Each has a strong feeling of stewardship but little feeling of ownership. They are great by serving. They know joy! True to the end My father stayed with his calling to the end. On June 1, 1959, between 12:50 and 3:15 A.M., I sat with my fathers corpse and wrote a tribute to him for a friend who didnt know him: I find myself unconsciously telling you about my father. He never owned a home or a share of stock. His estate is $1,000 of life insurance. His salary range for life was from $125 to $300 per month. On this he raised five sons after tithing the gross plus a generous gift above the tithe, along with charity to all who asked. If he had two suits, he looked for someone who needed one. He never graduated from college or held a degree. There were no honors significant enough to mention in his obituary. He never held an office of any responsibility within his profession. Dad walked the slums like a padre, carrying home the drunks, feeding the bums until Mother hid the food, visiting convicts, riding ambulances with fighting and feuding families, visiting the sick, marrying lovers, and burying the dead. When his neighbors were hungry, he couldnt eat. When they were sad, he cried, and when they laughed, he out-laughed them. Through the funeral parlor poured people of all stations and status the poor, those energized by poverty to move out and up, from the wealthy president whom Father saw converted from a young infidel in a charity TB hospital to the widow who asked to sit alone with him and to relive his great comfort in her past sorrows. In the line were the reclaimed of the rough stuff of life, recounting their experiences with him, and those who felt his great Irish temper he selfindulgently termed righteous indignation. They all came and sat for hours. No tears were there just victory. Vicario usly they felt victorious over death. Because he lived, they knew heaven exists. Where else could he be? A spirit so big could not vanish. Because he was there they felt a friend at court awaiting them. The atmosphere of triumph was great and positive. No generated hysterical quality. No tears to appease any guilt. Only love,

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returned to one who truly loved, loved so much that it could be described only as a gift like a talent. Yes, I realized how great the artist of love was who had shown them the result and not; the labor. I knew how often his soul was tired, how many nights he prayed to keep from quitting, how he struggled for thirty-five years in and out of debt to feed his family, how he suffered because he couldnt contribute to his childrens educatio n. But there were prayer and encouragement aplenty. The family separately and unanimously decided our greatest witness to his life could be expressed by the absence of grief. If we believed the blessed hope he preached, we certainly needed to express it now. Temporary separation, yespermanent, no. Late tonight he and I were alone for the last time. I felt he was asleep. He must be asleep or we would be matching wits. I cant remember when that started, and it never ended. He was never awake but what we were debating, his hobby and greatest achievement in school. It was my honor to be chosen his permanent adversary, even though it might have kept our personal relations in a defensive position. We neither asked nor gave quarter, or conceded defeat. As he slept in his casket, I studied the mammoth right arm of a former blacksmith who could throw a horse and muscle out two large sledgehammers, holding each by the end of its long handle. Outstretched, his arms, like giant tree limbs, could hold his entire family of five sons, arms so large and powerful that a visitor to the hospital asked if they were swollen even though he was past seventy. His hands were more expressive than his arms. Somehow they were more personal to me. There was the strong right hand of sudden justice, which literally broke tree limbs over my back for real or imagined breaches of parental law. His ring was offthe telltale gold initial ring that told me there was no Santa Claus when he was dressed up to play the part. Hands that were large and strong to slap me backwards or to gently break the bread of life at the Communion table. Hands that gripped a baseball and turned it loose as fast as any Ive ever caught. Hands that pushed the door to avoid any privacy for fear of evil. Hands that helped everyone in need. To see them folded seemed unnatural. They should have been turned out: to others. Pale and spent, his face showed the long battle of death. His great desire to be lucid in death was denied him. He wanted to die describing to his family the glories of the heavens he had lost his life to save for eternity. He wanted to prove the rightness of his faith, yet his family must believe as he did, accepting Christ as the bridge between life and deathman and God. This we do. He was not a brilliant intellect or a gifted orator. However, as an artist of love he was possessed by the living presence of his Savior Jesus Christ whose Second Coming was his most ardent wish. At the funeral we bury his problem (his body), not his greatness (his soul). Crowds will come, as to the funeral of any great man; the big difference will be in the direction of their

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thoughts. They will be thinking of the Master of the man, not of the mastery of the man. His life and death pointed the same way, up toward God and eternity. And now he is among that great cloud of witnesses who watch us run this mortal race. Therefore let us lay aside the weight of sin that doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Many have joined that cloud because of him. Many more will ride ashore on the expanding ripples of his life. O Death, where is thy sting? O Grave, where is thy victory? He now knows the truth of reality.

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5 ESSAYS ON CHRISTIAN CHARACTER The Dangers of Popularity Christian leaders should never base their leadership on their popularity or saintliness. Those who do, risk damaging the faith of their followers in the event the leaders fall morally. A church leader who as the ruling elder had baptized some of the children of the church divorced his wife and married his secretary. Some of the parents wanted their children rebaptized because they felt the baptisms were invalidated by his behavior. Oswald Chambers warns us to beware of the temptation to stay between God and the person we are leading. He points out that as soon as the person sees Christ, we should get out of the way. Our cause is Christ. Values or Virtues? Unless our values are rooted in scriptural virtues, they are not Christian. Our need is not to return to family values or historical values but to scriptural virtues. We talk about values because subconsciously we like to be in control; we set our values. Virtues, however, hold their authority because they are not under human control but come from revealed truth. Our society could return to the values of our forefathers, and we could still have human values. When we return to virtue, we return to God. The Power of Flattery Flattery subtly used has immense power. While addressing a large group of supporters for a Christian college, I said that one gift of some leaders of large Christian organizations is their ability to make the irresponsible comfortable. How else, I said, could large Christian organizations be as ineffective as they are? As an example, I pointed out that some of the largest churches in this country are larger than all the early church was, except they arent turning their city upside down, much less the country. I tried not to be meanspirited, using my criticism as medicine for a disease rather than a dagger for destruction. Scripture says, Faithful are the wounds of a friend. A popular minister immediately followed me and removed the sting by flattering the assembly. He indicated that they were the kind of people the world needs and if everyone were as good as they, there would be no problems. When he got through talking about the dear, sweet people, I understood for the first time the power of subtle flattery.
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The Power of Passion Respected church consultant Lyle Schaller has said that if a pastor does not have a passion for the mission, he can forget the rest of leadership. A passion to make a worthwhile difference is indispensable to effectiveness. Passion and vision need to work together. Passion energizes vision, and vision disciplines the passion. The clearer the vision, the greater the passion. The closer we get to the goal, the more it demands of us and the more it means to us. The Proper Use of Power Power comes in many forms. It can be coercive or constructive. Power is necessary to get things done. It is the gasoline for the engine. Power can be used negatively to induce fear or positively as an affirming influence. There is both human power and spiritual power. Either can be used correctly or abused. Our character determines our use of power. Here are a few examples of power a leader may use: The power of responsibilityconferred by authority or title. The power of persuasionthe ability to move an organization. The power of a charismatic personalitywhich can unite an effort. The power of a great vision (e.g., George Muellers vision for the care of orphans). The power of verbalizationthe ability to express an idea in simple terms so people are moved to act. Power correctly used is always a means and never an end. Picking the Right Enemy Great leaders have known the power of uniting against a common enemy. The enemy must be defined vividly, urgently, and must be current. America was united against Russian communism. Ever since the collapse of the USSR, the United States has been casting about for a new unifying enemy, with limited success. Christian leaders are fortunate in having a common enemy, but too often we direct our shots not in his direction but toward others. Our eternal enemy is Satan, but he, like some of our political leaders, is a great spinmaster and gets us to perceive other believers as the Enemy. If he has a sense of diabolical humor, he must be laughing while we wound each other.

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Answering the Wrong Question I often hear people question the goodness of God by saying, How could a loving God let my dear one die of cancer? But disease came as a result of the Fall, not the callousness of God. The question is What evil did we bring on ourselves when Adam and Eve sinned? Too seldom do I hear Satan blamed. He has become the practitioner of transference, ascribing to God his nefarious activities. Beware of the Celebrity Syndrome The celebrity syndrome is one of the ruling principles of our present society. It isnt so much what you are known for as it is that you are well known. Moral tramps sell more books than saints. Our son Fred invited a Christian layman who was experiencing a phenomenal rise in popularity to attend a meeting Fred was holding for laypeople. This Christian leader accepted. A friend of the man remarked to Fred, You know he will expect to speak. Fred had not put out the program, and before he did Fred called the assistant of this Christian layman, asking if he expected to speak. The assistant said, Nothing could be further from the truth. He doesnt want to speak. He just wants to attend. The experience was so unusual, Fred called his entire staff together and told them, We have found a real one, meaning, a humble one who has not yet accepted the celebrity status. Before a person becomes a Christian celebrity, he realizes that God is working through him. After he becomes a celebrity, he thinks he is working for God and that hes doing Gods work. He may even delude himself into thinking his will is really Gods will. Those working to be celebrities are tempting God. Is God Using Me or Am I Using God? I met Torrey Johnson when he first started Youth for Christ. At that time I was asking certain people I admired for their picture and autogr aph. He gave me his with the inscription: To Fred, Gods man in Gods place. I never felt I could hang that on the wall. I kept it in the desk drawer. I was always condemned by how seldom I felt that I was truly Gods man in Gods place. During the times I felt God was using me, I felt extremely small and extremely secure. When I felt big, I felt insecure, because then I was depending on my own strength. Recently when I asked a friend the usual question, Hows it going, Ron? he answered in the best possible way. He said, Fred, I feel God is using me. What a wonderful feeling to realize God is using us rather than our using God. So long as we keep that spiritual dimension in our leadership, people will see God in us.
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Two great epitaphs come to mind: Someone told me he found the small gravestone of Fanny Crosby, which was located in the same cemetery as the large monument to Barnum, the circus king. Crosbys said simply, Aunt Fannyshe did what she could. The other great epitaph is the one for A. W. Tozer: He was a man of God. Inner Success Once a young preacher said to me, I can be happy just being a man of God, but that isnt enough for my family. It isnt enough for my board. They want me to be successful. If we let others define our success, it is truly a slippery slope. If we follow Christs example, then we simply go about doing good. I suggest to any Christian who wants to be successful that he or she explore Scripture and try to find someone who started out to be successful and then made it. I can name five or six who tried it, and each was cursed. Remember the man who offered the apostles money for the spiritual gift? He probably intended to help people with it, but he wanted to take the credit instead of seeing that God got it. Peter told him, May your money perish with you. You may remember that Mother Teresa said she would not accept any more honors because it took time away from her work. Caring for the dying was more important than receiving the Nobel Prize. She knew inner success. Narrowing the Gap A linguist with Wycliffe Bible Translators once told me that in twenty primitive languages the word for belief and do is the same. As we become more sophisticated, we divide it into two words. When our behavior contradicts our stated belief, it doesnt mean that we dont hold to the belief, but rather that it has become an intellectual position instead of a behavioral one. We can become so astute in the study of belief and the statement of belief that they become disconnected from behavior. Ive thought a great deal about the dichotomy of belief and behavior, and I find mine can result from a criminal arrogance. I say criminal because a common denominator of criminals is their belief that the law doesnt apply to me. The dichotomy is also part of the spoiled-brat syndrome; I think I dont have to respect authority. Or I think like the politicianI make the laws, not obey them. I can think the belief is right for everyone else but rationalize an exception for myself. This is not just sophistry, it is sin.

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What Are You Becoming? Those around us will always judge us by our accomplishments. They will know what we have done, what we have built, where we have been, the jobs weve held, the titles we have worn, and the honors we have garnered. But on the inside, we continually ask ourselves, Am I content with who I am becoming or who I have become? In east Texas we have the large pine beetle, which, when it dies, remains clinging to the bark of the pine tree. The insides dry up, and though the body of the insect appears to be alive, when you approach it, expecting it to fly away, you find it is but a hollow shell.Occasionally I meet someone whose life has evaporated; he has become a walking hollow shell. His living has used up his life. What Feeds the Soul Im fond of reading the saints of old. (The original saints were, of course, Southern Baptists.) In their writings and meditations, I see nothing of planning to be successful or significant. They were not motivated by human ambition. The glory of God was their joy. They were concerned not with Gods plan for their life but his presence in their life. They seemed to feel that if they had a guide they didnt need a map. Both Brother Lawrence and Frank Laubach have written inspiringly on the presence of God. Occasionally I speak to a Christian leader who seems hard and metallic. The more ambitious they are, the more metallic. Some with whom I have shared intimate moments seem dry on the inside. The soul cant be fed with ambition, accomplishment, and acquisition. The soul is fed by the Spirit and the words that proceed from God. Activity or Accomplishments? I have learned that if I end my day feeling beat, I probably didnt accomplish much of anything worthwhile. Accomplishment gives me such a joy that it actually restores my energy. Activity for its own sake, on the other hand, is draining. As Ive gotten older, Ive found the less I do the more I enjoy it because Im more selective, more thorough, more conscious of what Im trying to do. Ive learned that activity is not the mark of accomplishment. The more I can delegate tasks that are not uniquely mine, the more attention I can pay to those that are. A pastor may feel he doesnt have the luxury of doing a few things well, but the principles still apply. I have run small organizations, and I have run large organizations. Ive never been short of time, because I believe Ive been given an ability to prioritize what Im trying to do. I retain to myself the things that only I can do and delegate the rest. It is easy to make the mistake of feeling important when people are depending on us.
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I dont get joy from feeling needed. I have told my family that when I die, I hope they will not feel I was needed, but only loved. I want them each to mature to the point where they dont need me. To me, this is a proper leadership philosophy. Phony Confessions Beware of self-serving confessions. Often confession can be used as advertising, such as the young man who confessed to buying expensive clothes. He didnt stop bu ying them, he just wanted them noticed. Another person in a small mixed group confessed to high sexual desire. Again, that was advertising, not confessing. He was dropping bits of honey hoping to find hungry flies. The self-serving confession is often augmented according to audience reaction. Ive heard Christian leaders use confession as a way of proving they are one of the boys. The wisdom literature of Scripture tells us that a fool exposes his folly. For a leader to say, Im a sinner, saved by grace is different from laying out the proof of his sin. Bishop Fulton Sheen conducted a retreat for priests and nuns. He stressed the point that if you are a priest, you must pay the price to be extraordinary; dont buy cheap comfort by confessing things you should keep to yourself. A leader should not be lured into the trap of exposing weaknesses as a way of saying, Look how humble I am. Whenever we call attention to our humility, that is the ultimate in pride. Overcoming Cynicism Cynicism has no integrity. Cynicism often properly evaluates the present, but it has no hope for the future. As Christians we are not without hope for the future. Christians believe in the possibility of the future. Our responsibility is to make a difference, not to drop out. Recently a bright, young executive asked me to lunch. He opened the conversation by saying, I serve on several Christian boards and have been invited to join two national ministry boards. But as a businessman I have become cynical at what I see. You have been in it all your life. How have you avoided cynicism? I freely admitted that I have a certain amount of cynicismI hope, healthyI doubt that you can be in Christian service as long as I have without it. Nevertheless, I assured him that there is an antidote, which comes in two parts: Maintain your sense of humor. I have found that any human activity, whether in religion or not, contains the frailties of the race. To me, healthy humor eases the tension between where we are and where we ought to be. Too often in the most serious business of the kingdom, we act as clowns in the court. We play games, indulge in politics, defend our errors, deny our temptations. All of these situations can be a great source for humor. Sins garbed in ecclesiastical raiment are ridiculous. In such situations, its much better to laugh than to cry or criticize.
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At the risk of being thought irreverent, I will tell you about an experience in which you wouldnt expect to find humor, but I did. It was at my fathers funeral, held in a la rge church with many local ministers in attendance. Officiating were the new minister coming into the church and the older, longtime pastor who was leaving. They were both great showmen, and the situation was too overpowering for them not to try to outshine each other. Shortly into the funeral, I wrote my brother a note: Watch these two clowns outdo each other. One was known for his tremendous memory of Scripture. He reeled off reams of it. The other, older man was a great orator, and coming after the young preacher, he preached in high style, causing the angels to fly off the ramparts of heaven. I wasnt offended, for I knew if my father could suddenly come alive, he would enjoy this as a delightful show; his Irish laugh would have been heard throughout the church. Both were men of fine spirit and sincerity who just got caught up in a situation that became a contest. Look for the reality amid the counterfeit. The more counterfeit there is, the more I am convinced of the reality, for only reality promotes and protects counterfeit. Counterfeiters dont make $1 notes, they make $100 notes. Where I see counterfeit, I look for reality, for I know its there. Fight the Right Fight When Paul said, I have fought the good fight, he didnt mean with other Christian s. Yes, the Christian life is a fight, but it isnt a fight against other believers. They are not the enemy. Satan is the Enemy. We lose integrity by fighting other members of the body. We are forbidden by Scripture to do this. For years I was friends with a theologian who happily accepted credit for starting a major conflict in his denomination. Once when he was castigating not only the views of the opposing leaders but also the leaders, I asked him, Are they going to heaven? Oh yes, he answered. I asked, Then what scriptural right do you have for kicking another member of the body? If they are going to heaven, they are a member of the body of Christ, and if I understand Scripture, it says we are not to pit one member of the body against the other. A historian said that few battles over theology are ever caused by theology; they are power struggles, they are ego positions. They are strong leaders against strong leaders using theology as the basis for the fight, not the reason for it. Power, not theology, is at the heart of the struggle. Well-meaning Christian leaders can be drawn into such battles because when dealing with bureaucracy, religious or corporate, the politically smart thing is to stay on the side of power. Therefore, we tend to identify ourselves with the interests of those in power. While I was in
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management, the union once had an organizing theme with the phrase The banana that leaves the stalk gets peeled. One Sunday I heard a brilliant young preacher take on a denominational fight that I had reason to believe he did not believe in. He was encouraged by an older pastor to jump into the fray. In the sermon, this young preacher smoked the opposition. I felt sad to see the animosity with which he used his great talent. Unfortunately, the man has now left the ministry and has had a rather disastrous life. I wonder whether part of it dates back to when, in order to gain favor, he took a position under duress. The greatest defense we can give of the gospel is to personify it, not to argue it. From Function to Friend Years ago I met John Stein, the famous impresario who brought several of the great stars to Broadway. When I asked him if there was a secret to the stars popularity and longevity, he said, They go on the platform as an entertainer; they come off as a person. He explained how they moved from function to friend. They were not interested in image; they were interested in the function and becoming real as individuals to the audience. This is an important lesson in leadership. The great doctors I have known have been able to move from function to friend. Some remain scientists and others become friends. This applies, of course, to other fields of work as well. Anyone who has to maintain an image will suffer loneliness and alienation. The important thing is that there be a real person, a real friend, behind the competent function. Political Positioning To place an individual for political purposes in a position outside his gifting is leadership prostitution. God has endowed each person with a gift that can glorify God. When we use the person for political security for ourselves, regardless of that persons gift, we are using what should be for the glory of God to secure our political position. I have listened to several Sunday school teachers who had no gift for teaching. They were loyalists within the organization. Sometimes ministers are promoted to denominational administrative work, though they have no gift for the work. They hold the title while someone else does the work. Their function is loyalty to the ecclesiastical union. Once I was asked to join a corporate executive committee by a friend, but when I told him I didnt think he was completely honest in his leadership, he agreed we should stay friends but that I should not be on his board. Political structuring based on loyalty to a leader and not to Christ lacks integrity.

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A Successful Condition Most of us view success as fame, accomplishment, and acquisition. Our society has chosen personality over character. Christian success must be built on character, not personality or skill. The great qualities in life are involved in the character of a person, such as wisdom, integrity, honesty, loyalty, faith, forgiveness, and love. The Everyday Bible gives an interesting translat ion of Psalm 131: Lord, my heart is not proud. I do not look down on others. I do not do great things and I cannot do miracles. But I am calm and quiet. How can we claim Christian success unless our hearts are calm and quiet? Thomas Kelly, the eminent Quaker philosopher, said that inside each person there should be a quiet center that nothing can disturb. The great Catholic mystics continually talked of the throne of God, which is in the innermost part of our heart, where no storm, tribulation, or temptation can disturb. Scripture says, Greater is he that controls his spirit than he who takes a city. Obviously our condition is more than our accomplishment. In other words, our greatest accomplishment is our condition. The Wisdom Process There is a process to wisdom. First there are the bits of data that coagulate according to subjects into information. Then use is made of the information, which becomes knowledge. From knowledge we gain perspective of divine principles, which is wisdom. The greatest wisdom is revealed truth, not discovered truth. Before knowledge can become wisdom, it has to pass through the mind and into the heart. With deep practicality, the Old Testament writings show the understanding of wisdom by referring to it as in the heart rather than in the mindout of the heart are the issues of life. Wisdom can be taught as principles, but it cannot become personal until it is practiced. Wisdom is truth, and truth is eternal, and eternal is current. Therefore, there is no updating or out-of-dating of truth.

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PART II

DEVELOPING YOUR SKILLS 6 IDENTIFYING THE MANDATE MAX DE PREE, FORMER CEO AND AUTHOR of Leadership Jazz, once said, The number one responsibility of top management is to define reality. Thats true whether were leading a corporat ion or a church, and establishing a mandate helps us to define that reality and to lead with integrity. Leaders need to ask, Why are we operating? What are we about? What are we dedicated to? Once these questions have been addressed and a consensus around their answers developed, a leader has a mandate, a foundation out of which to determine programs, recruit leadership, establish organizational culture, and figure out what and what not to do. One critical function of a mandate is that it separates loyalty to the leader from loyalty to the cause. The leader has to say, I am subservient to this mandate. You dont serve me. You dont make me happy. And dont keep me in charge unless I fulfill the mandate. I was talking to ten pastors who all have Ph.D. degrees. One asked, How can I get my church to do my program? I responded by asking him two questions. The first was, Did you found the church? No, he didnt. The second was, Would you leave if you got a better offer? Yes, he would leave. Then what right do you have to call it my church? I replied. Youd be better off saying our church. While the leader is responsible for the initiation of the mandate, he has to build a consensus for it among peoplefirst, that they buy into the mandate, and second, that they are willing to dedicate themselves to carrying it out. Often leaders will put their friends, their associates, their politically loyal people into key positions, whether or not they belong there. Its easy to fall into this double agenda, this popularity contest. But were not in leadership to become popular; were there to advance the mandate. The other danger with an organization centered on a leader rather than a mission is that when the leader leaves, his people may follow and leave no effective group vested in the cause and dedicated to carrying on the mission.
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Narrowing the focus You have to be careful, however, not to set out what I call a Mother Hubbard mandatethere needs to be specificity in the mandate. Too many churches and organizations get trapped in a mission statement that sounds good but is too general to be effective. The mission statement is empty of meaning. For example, a church might have as its mission statement, For the glory of God and the good of man. Ultimately, any church is called to work toward that end, but that can be interpreted in many different ways. Such a statement does not set out a workable basis for ministry. Some churches try to put their mandate in their nameBible Church, Fellowship Church, Church of Christ. Yet these names and ideas are not specific enough for leaders to lead effectively. The focus of the mandate must be specific and clear so that everyone knows exactly what is meant by it. In fact, it should not be possible to interpret a mandate except in a narrow sense. That discipline enables the leader to set boundaries. A leader defines the organizational culture and develops programs within the established boundaries set by the mandate. No church can accomplish everything. I once hear d a pastor say, I cant make a mark on infinity. My mark has to be on finiteness. Maybe huge organizations can accomplish a great array of things, but the average church has to identify its strengths and choose where it will put its efforts. The big three Within the life of any church, there are three broad umbrella areaswhat the church is about out of which a mandate must be drawn. First, the church is about the salvation of the lost. Second, its about the maturing of the saved. And third, its about t he spiritual fellowship of the saintsthe believers. All evaluations of a churchs mission and activities need to proceed from these three fundamentals. Lets say, for example, that a church decides its mandate is evangelism. Then going out and reaching the unsaved is what they are about. They have to ask themselves, What are we going to do to win the lost? What is our specific program? How best can we appeal to the nonbeliever? According to church consultant Lyle Schaller, as much as 85 percent of church growth is actually transfer growth. If the church whose mandate is to reach the lost is in reality only attracting other Christians, then that church is merely poaching other churches. It isnt evangelizing. Such churches have to come back to their mandate. Its the same with maturing the saved. First, a church has to define a mature Christian. Then it has to determine what activities will accomplish this end. A leader must to be able to give honest answers to these questions: Are people more mature today than they were last year? How have
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they grown? What sermon series were done? What Sunday school programs? What are the evidences of maturity? Regarding spiritual fellowship, the same kind of honesty and objectivity applies. I see a lot of activities in the church, but many are not always for spiritual fellowship;theyre for social fellowship. Even Bible studies and small groups may not bring about that kind of spiritual growth and connecting. Are people learning accountability? Is there a sense of strength, of belonging? Are Christians striving for Christlikeness? Its important to distinguish a program from a mandate. Programs come and go, and they should. Leaders should always be looking at programs in light of whether they serve the mandate. If they dont, they should be cut. Evaluation tool I remember the words of a German bandmaster at our childrens school. He had a championship band, and whenever he disciplined anybody, he always said, You cant play like that and play in this band. He never said, You cant play like that and play for me. He didnt equate personal loyalty with a persons contribution to the cause. He believed that unless you were willing to contribute everything you had, you didnt belong. When a leader is sure of the mandate, he or she can create a more effective leadership team. One can discipline and evaluate people in light of the mandate. Ive been reading an excellent book about leadership as exemplified by four-star generals and admirals. Its clear these leaders knew exactly what the military was trying to do, and their selection of people was based entirely on their ability to contribute to what they were charged with doing. Selection is largely determined by the mandate. So is the development of people. When a leader finds someone who has potential to fulfill the mandate but needs developing, then that leader should know exactly how to bring him or her along. Likewise, if someone is not moving the mandate forward by his or her activity, then that activity should be stopped. I used to say I was certain my friend Maxey Jarman, chairman of Genesco and also my superior at work, would have asked me to leave any time he felt I was hurting the organization. Then he would have taken me to lunch. It was his responsibility to see that everybody in the organization, friend and foe, was contributing to the organizations welfare. Even if hed taken my job, I still would have gone to lunch with him as a dear friend. I would have respected his judgment that I was not advancing the mandate. A mandate gives a leader the ability to define the leadership he needs. Once I asked a pastor of a fast-growing church, What is your emphasis?

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Upward mobility, he responded. You show me another church with eight thousand members, where the chairman of the board is thirty-two years old, he said. Young people are not willing to wait for promotions in business, and I dont think they ought to have to wait in church. Part of his mandate, then, was the utilization of up-and-coming young leaders. His mandate was helping him define his leadership. Call or mandate? Theres a difference between a mandate and a call. A call is personal; it comes to the individual. A mandate is collective, corporate. The mandate is the organizations reason for being; the call is the individuals reason for service. A leader needs to have a sense of call, of dedication, to serve effectively. Prison evangelist Bill Glass emphasizes this in training his prison counselors. He says, You have volunteered to be a counselor, but you have dedicated your life to personify Christ in this prison. He goes through a litany of experiences that a volunteer might not be able to take (e.g., getting cussed out, having urine thrown on him). But the dedicated counselor will hang in. A call may change. A person might sense a call to a different organization or a different form of service. Sometimes I think the call may lead someone out of the ministry. Recently I talked with a pastor in Iowa whose primary ministry was teaching the Bible. I asked him how he was doing, and he admitted he was unhappy. So were the people. I asked him, What is your real love? My real love is winning people to Christ, he said. In your saint -saturated organization, I said, there is nobody to win. And whenever you get up to teach, you dont see a single soul who needs salvation, and yet you are by nature an evangelist. Have you considered leaving the ministry and going back into automobile sales, where youre constantly in contact with lost people? Thats when I was happiest, he said. But he had let his ego get involved, and he became a pastor. Now he has moved back into sales and is extremely happy and effective. His callto win peopledid not match the organization he was serving. I know several people who would be much happier if they would recognize they havent been called to what theyre doing. The simplest form As leaders think about the mandate for their particular organization, they should remember that the simplest way it can be accomplished is the most effective. Organizations tend to let what they do become too complicated.
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The head of an international ministry came to me with several sheets of paper, laying out an organizational chart. After I had reviewed it, I said, Evidently somebody in your organiz ation is studying management material. Im all for that, except there are only two questions you need to answer starting out: Number one, what are you really trying to do? Number two, what is the simplest way you can do it? As we talked, he said, Its very simple for me to know what were trying to do. Then forget the drawing, I said. Its not the simplest way you can do it. It is a complicated system that involves a lot of peoples ambitions, ego, and comfort. The ambitions and ego need to be weeded out. He went back to his board with a new statement, and they were grateful somebody had come up with a simpler way to carry out the work of the organization. If I were drawing up a new mandate for an organization in trouble, I would figure out the simplest way of accomplishing what it set out to do. Not that this is always simple to do; Im trying to find the simplest way a task can be done. Albert Einstein once said that whatever God does, he does in its simplest form. And how can we improve upon that?

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7 DISCERNING THE PEOPLE YOU LEAD IF THE LORD HAS BLESSED YOU with the gift of discernment, use it in your leadership. Our gifts are our uniqueness, and our greatest spiritual strength is always in the uniqueness of who we are. You reach integrity by being who you are in all the fullness God intended. The false self is the person whom you try to imitate. The most grateful compliment we can pay our Creator is to fulfill and optimize our uniqueness. How can we pray, asking God to make us someone we arent or to do something we are not gifted to do? Our leading should be according to who we are. I have known many excellent leaders who were not given the gift of discernment. They could not read people. They could read figures. They excelled in science, engineering, mathematics, and administration. They depended on management skills, behavioral research, organizational charts, methods, and the types of learned skills taught in business school. Those blessed with discernment, however, develop sensitivity, empathy, and intuition. I am one of these types, having used discernment for many years both in manufacturing (twenty-five hundred employees) and in ministry (chairman of several national ministries). I was fortunate in my career to have both Ray Stedman, pastor of Peninsula Bible Church, and Baxter Ball, vice-president of Mobil, verify my discernment and intuition. They encouraged me to use these in my leadership. Early on, my mentor Maxey Jarman emphasized utilizing strength and buttressing weakness. I had natural leadership gifts and a strong desire to lead but little training in the usual skills. A word about my background may be helpful to you: My father was pastor of a small blue-collar church. I never heard the word business mentioned in my home. After graduating from high school, I went out to find a job, my first experience in business. At age twenty-six I became head of a corporate function and by my early thirties a vice-president of operations. I was weak with numbers, and disliked the monotony of administration. In addition, I was not blessed with great physical energy. I never had the urge to rush from one thing to another, keeping a lot of balls in the air. Im not a type-A personality. I realized that both numbers and administration were vital. I overcame my lack in the numbers area by always having a capable numbers person with me. I picked an assistant who enjoyed detail to follow up on routine administration. My strength was in vision, picking and placing people, and coordinating their efforts. Here my discernment was a tremendous help to me. I was encouraged to use and develop discernment skills by a simple statement of the revered retailer John Wanamaker, who said, A mule balks in his head before he balks in his feet, and so
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do people. Another confirmation came in reading a survey made of the New York Philharmonic Orchestra about who had been the most effective director. Toscanini won it, hands down. When asked about his strength, one of the players said, He could anticipate when you were about to make a mistake and keep you from making it. He had discernment. Later I found another confirming illustration. The manufacturing company for which I was vicepresident of operations made high-precision instruments. For years the quality control was put on the individual piece as it went through operation after operation. When an operation damaged the piece in the process, it was very expensive. Our engineers developed a method of establishing the control on the machine as well as on the part. When a machine was going out of tolerance, they would shut it down before it damaged parts. While individuals obviously vary much more than machines, I found that if I could read people correctly, I could keep up their productivity and minimize their mistakes. Discernment, like musical talent, is innate; however, both must be practiced and developed. Simply having the gift of music does not make one a concert pianist. Learning to listen and observe Words are the windows to the mind. Socrates said, Speak, young man, that I might know you. Productive listening is active and intense listening. It is hearing more than words. Most of the time we grasp just enough of what people are saying to maintain conversation. Using our discernment to lead requires much more. The following are ways to interpret what people are actually saying: 1. Manifest listening. First we listen for the meaning of words, both dictionary and colloquial. For example, young people today say bad when they mean exceptionally good (e.g., Hes a bad cat). I am always surprised when people do not ask the meaning of words they dont know. I have never known a really intelligent person who will let you use a word he or she doesnt know without stopping to ask its meaning. Next we listen to the selection of words, which can be intellectual or emotional. Then comes the pace, the speed with which a person speaks. Then the rhythm, which is the peaks and valleys. Then the tone of the words. Tone is greatly indicative of the emotions. It is helpful also to notice the manipulation of words (e.g., as it is done by the Washington spin doctors and the media).

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Psychiatrists listen for glitches in the use of words. One psychiatrist told me that when we have a glitch it is generally because two ideas collide, and he is interested in which idea was suppressed and which was expressed. I have found it is important to listen to the tone of slang, vulgarity, or profanity. The tone tells me whether its intentional or a habit, whether its a tool or just an expression. The use of words and accents often gives us a glimpse into someones past. The drummer Buddy Rich told me that he could hear a players history when he heard how he played jazz. He knew whom he had been listening to, who he idolized, what general part of the country he came from, and whether he had a religious background. People who have a public vocabulary that is different from their private one sometimes let a private word slip into their public expression, and that opens a window into the persons thought process. Those who use diplomatic language ordinarily want to avoid offending anyone and seldom put their cards face up on the table. 2. Latent listening. One of our top salesmen became an alcoholic. We worked to scrape him off the bottom and get him sober and on top again. As he and I walked into a sales meeting, he lingered a moment and said, This help Im getting is going to keep me from drinking, isnt it? The negative tone in isnt it signaled that he was losing confidence, that we had better get together with him quickly or he would be back on the booze. In latent listening, we try to learn why the person says what he says and why he says it at a particular time and in a particular way. Manifest and latent listening overlap; actually we are hearing both the what and the why at the same time. They cannot be cleanly separated. The emotions greatly influence the tone, pace, and rhythm of speech, as well as the selection of words. The choice of words discloses several things, including a persons reaso ning ability, his prejudices in the use of pejorative words, and his attempt to impress in the inappropriate use of large words. I have found that individuals with precise minds use precise language. Often, sensitive people use poetic words. Again, it is possible to get a lead on whether people think in principles or techniques by the words they use (the breadth of illustration). They may illustrate from many different areas because they see a similar principle running through different experiences. The tone of words is generally set by the emotion. If the tone is judgmental, I generally suspect self-righteousness or cynicism. A negative tone generally denotes a negative feeling about the subject. Whining is always minor-key and cheerleading major-key.
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Emotion affects the pace at which a person speaks. Generally an excited person speaks quicker, and the pitch is higher. One night I was visiting with a psychiatrist friend in a social situation, and he asked me about an economic principle that I knew only vague ly. I knew he didnt know anything about it, so I waded in with great authority. When I finished, he said, You know very little about the subject. I confessed and asked him how he knew. He said, Because your pace and tone changed, telling me that you were on shaky ground. Excessive language is always questionable and generally is born of a desire to impress, intimidate, or ingratiate. Talking too loud can be an attempt to control. Those who control their voice also raise a question about why. For example, on a witness stand you often see people try to control their voice. Is that because theyre right or because theyre afraid of being found out? An interesting conversationalist or speaker has an interesting rhythm about his speech. A boring person has a sonorous tone. Rhythm can indicate personal involvement with the subject. Sometimes rhythm connotes performance rather than mere communication. Interpreting laughter among associates is instructive. Where the relationship is open and free, so is the laughter. If language is merely polite, derisive, or carries innuendo, there is discord. Sometimes its important to interpret interruptions, which may signal everything from being discourteous to being respectful. We normally think a person interrupting us is indicating that what he wants to say is more important than what is being said. On the other hand, it could be a subtle attempt to change the subject to protect someone or to add a different line of thought to the original one. Occasionally it just shows enthusiastic agreement that cant be withheld. Interruptions in a group often mean the person is trying to take controlexpressing power and rank, like a general interrupting a colonel. Often these try to hold the conversation or guide it by difficult questions or confrontation. Some feel they are ordained talkers. One Sunday afternoon I was in the park in Los Angeles where the haranguers go to harangue. I fell in with a group listening to a man proclaiming his beliefs in loud, continuous talk. Walking around the edge of the group was a man muttering to himself, and I fell in behind him hoping to hear what he was saying. It was: Hell, I came here to talk. I didnt come here to listen. As leaders we must concentrate on these two types of listening: (1) manifestwe attempt to understand both the dictionary and colloquial definition of words, and (2) latent we try to understand why the person said what he said, to know his emotional involvement. 3. Observing body language. People talk not only with their mouths, but also with their bodies. I once had an associate whose eyes would slightly mist over when he was shading the truth. Babe

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Ruth unfortunately telegraphed his pitch by sticking his tongue out when he was going to throw a curve ball. Reading body language is an old subject, beat-up and often oversimplified by charlatans. Ive attended seminars on the subject that defined specific body movements generically, applying to everyone equally. That is quackery at its worst. For example, I remember one speaker saying that when a person wraps his arms around himself he is being defensive. One of the most extroverted men I know does this when he gets excited, and I think hes hugging himself rather than defending himself. Nevertheless, body language is important and should be carefully observed, investigated, and verified in each specific instance. First, gestures and words should agree. When they are in conflict, there must be a reason. A psychiatrist pointed out that a prominent politician spoke constantly of how he loved people while using hacking motions, like rabbit punches. It was hard to catch his sincerity. One of the greatest salesmen Ive ever known was the president of a jewelry company who had a genuine radar for peoples thoughts. He told me, Dont watch what a man can control. Watch what he isnt thinking to control. I once had an associate who when he became irritated patted his feet on the floor. It was important to notice that. Coaches, sports commentators, and competitors constantly read the opponent s body language. Tennis champion Chris Evert could put you inside the tennis players mind, as could John McEnroe. Ken Venturi does this for golfers. Isaiah Thomas was expert in reading basketball players. For example, he once said a player was losing confidence because he passed off instead of taking the shot. Advertising constantly uses our belief in body language to prove the efficacy of a product: the sag before the snap and go, the frown before the smile. Most capable executives can walk into a plant and read the work pace in the employees body language. I can usually read a speakers emotions, nerves, lack of concentration, lack of preparation, and his involvement with the subject through his demeanor, because Ive been there so many times myself. Sometimes the material ownership of things enters into body image and therefore body language. Things and associations serve as symbols. Once I was invited by a friend to sit in on a conversation between a father and a son who were having a problem. I wasnt part of the conversation, so I concentrated on the boys face to see if I could read any changing expressions. When one matter came up, he developed a tic in his face. Later the subject came up again, and his face repeated the tic. I joined the conversation and brought the subject by the boy again. Again his face showed the tic. The tic and the general feel of the confrontation made me assume he was lying, so I challenged him. He confessed.
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His father later told me that his son said, Im afraid of that guy. He can read your mind. I couldnt. I was simply observing his face, and it led me to a correct assumption. If his face had shown the tic randomly, I would not have known how to read it.

Three principles from psychiatry Effective psychiatry often uses developed discernment. Those who use discernment in leadership can be helped by these principles: 1. Everyone is logical, according to his or her base. The psychiatrist Alfred Adler helped me to understand people who differed with me. Originally I thought that anyone who differed was illogical, since of course I was logical. He straightened me out by his writings when he said that every person is logical if you know the base from which he began his logic. Now I realize I must find the base from which people start their logic. I never feel I understand the base until I can predict their future behavior. When I understand their base, I understand their logic. For example, if a person loses faith, the logic of his faith position will seem askew to those who still have faith. When despair becomes a base, behavior can change from immorality to cynicism and immobilization. Two people can be experiencing the same identical experience yet with two different conclusionsin fact, opposing conclusions. For many years I drove a sports car and enjoyed putting it through the corners, with increasing confidence. When my wife rode with me, she would inevitably scream as I powered through a corner, thinking I was going to roll the car. Rather disgustedly Id say to her, Mary Alice, Ive done this hundreds and hundreds of times, and theres no reason to think that I wont be able to do it this time. She replied, Driving the way you do, its inevitable that you will crash, and this may be the time. She was perfectly logical; her base was that I was going to crash, and that each corner I took brought me closer to it. I had the opposite base of confidence, which meant that each corner I came to increased my skill in making the next one. We were both logical; it was our bases that were not in agreement. 2. Dependence can create hostility. Another of my psychiatrist friends acquainted me with the term hostile dependence. That has been extremely helpful both in business and family as well as in mentoring. Hostile dependence happens when a person is dependent and angry about it. Often this shows up in long-term marriagesthe wife will become angry at her husband for no reason other than the fact that she is dependent on him and is angry about the dependence. It isnt his treatment o f her, but her dependence and lack of control that fuels her anger.

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Older employees in a plant will sometimes turn against the company out of fear, when in reality there is nothing specific to be afraid of except their dependence on the company. This even happens in our relationship with God. 3. Peoples psychic space differs. Another psychiatrist friend acquainted me with the concept of psychic space. He told me of treating a lady who suddenly said, I hate you! I hate you! I asked him if she truly hated him, and he said, No. I was simply violating her psychic space, and she had to get me out of it. He said he backed away, and she became quiet and conversational again. It is important to recognize the different areas of psychic space with our people. I have seen this element violated in small groups where people are encouraged to open up and later they were sorry they had done so, dropping out of the group because of what they had revealed about themselves. Private people should have their privacy respected. Too often I find we invade peoples spiritual psychic space without earning the right or being invited into that space. Sometimes when a stranger has said to me, Whats your spiritual condition? I have wanted to reply, Whats your financial position? He would probably be horrified to be asked such a personal question, and yet there is nothing more personal than my spiritual situation. We should be interested in others spiritual condition, but interested enough to earn the right to inquire and perceive the right time to do so. When using gifts of discernment, sensitivity, empathy, and intuition, we may be accused of being too touchy-feely. I dont see discernment in this light at all. I simply believe that every fact is preceded by a feeling and if we rightly employ our discernment, we can affect the facts by understanding the feelings that precede the facts. For seventeen years I lectured in the business program of a major state university. On one occasion the dean of engineering preceded me, and he knew I respected discernment and spiritual values. In a hostile manner, he announced, Im a scientist. I believe only in hard facts, the things that I can see, measure, know. Respectfully, when I followed him, I tried to point out that life not only has its hard facts but its soft facts. I mentioned how the Taoist monks centuries ago pointed out the fact that the soft water shapes the hard rocks and shoreline, and, similarly, many times the soft facts shape the hard facts. Many of our most valuable qualities can be included in the soft facts of life, such as love, loyalty, patriotism, courage, commitment, consistency, and even character itself. Discerning patterns in others Dr. James Cain, noted diagnostician at Mayo Clinic, impressed upon me the importance of coming to the clinic over a long period of time so that they could develop a health pattern for methat is, so that they could set up ranges on the elements of my health. As long as I stayed

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within that range, they were not concerned, even though there were some idiosyncrasies within the range. If I went out of that range, they immediately began to find out why. I have found that with discernment we are able to determine patterns of behavior in our associates, particularly those who are close and important to our leadership. Christ had three close disciples, and I find most leaders need to have a few close to them to share in the leadership. I have found it helpful to employ people in the area of their gifts and passions. Then you have only to coordinate them, not supervise them. I have established a long list of items by which to discern the skills and passions of my people. It would be too lengthy for this discussion; but it would begin with character, for I have found that character determines how a person uses his or her intelligence. Next I want to know the persons confidence level, which permits him or her to attempt something with a positive attitude and with concentration. Loss of concentration is often disastrous. Concept of self is importanthow does the person see himself?not his self-image, but his selfworth. This has a lot to do with a persons willingness to accept responsibility and to develop himself. Relational skills are important, particularly in team play. Loners can be stars but rarely good team members. It is good to know if a person is cooperative or competitive, and under which conditions and circumstances. A persons skill and passion should promote the vision of the organization. In many organizations the volunteers are the larger group, so it is doubly important to establish patterns for the leaders core. Getting the right people in the right place with the right attitude is more important in a small organization than a large one. Actuarially, one person in a group of a hundred represents only 1 percent, while one person in a small group of five represents 20 percent. Unfortunately Ive seen some small organizations that lacked the confidence to demand quality in each individual. The smaller the organization, the more quality each individual must have. The only excuse for activity Like me, maybe you as a leader have had the natural talent and desire to lead but lacked skills. Some of this can be compensated for with the use of discernment. A lack of professional, executive skills doesnt mean you cant fulfill your calling. Use your uniqueness, your giftedness. Develop it. Depend on it. Believe in it.

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When I saw the old wrangler on whose life the movie The Horse Whisperer was based, I felt a kindred spirit. He used empathy rather than dominance. He adopted a different role for the wrangler and a different experience for the horse. He moved from a hierarchical system, which was tyrannical, to a team or mutual interest. He no longer depended on the horses fear, but on its friendship. His orders became friendly suggestions that he knew would be accepted. The famed basketball coach John Wooden, the winningest coach, also used his own system. He supposedly never mentioned win to any of his teams; he simply emphasized doing ones best. This was a different emphasis than the norm. It excluded learning dirty tricks, bending the rules, violating recruiting rules, and falsifying grades, which winning can often rationalize. Wooden made it possible to win even while losing, if one had done ones best. He had a sensitivity for talent. We lead to accomplish the vision of our calling. We optimize the use of the gifts and passions of our associates in attaining what we genuinely believe is the will of God for the glory of God. Once I had a boss who had this slogan on his wall: Results is the only excuse for activity. We are to be judged by the spiritual results we achieve, not by the human methods that we use.

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8 CHALLENGING THE VIRTUE OF THE AGE THE INTEGRITY OF A LEADER OFTEN IS SHOWN in the stand he takes for right against mistaken popular conceptsnot to be different or difficult but daring to be right, avoiding the temptation to join in the swim downstream by challenging the direction of the flow, searching for the biblical right or wrong in each issue. I heard the writer Chaim Potok say a true leader is never absorbed in the stream in which he swims. The Scripture would say he was transformed rather than conformed. Our society is facing many positions that need biblical challenge and clarification. They include: relative truth, situational ethics, alternate lifestyles, personal responsibility versus rights, the acquisition and distribution of wealth, racial equality, political expediency, self-love as expressed in image and significance, and the power of peer pressure. While these issues rage, values and ethics have become a hot subject in our society, almost to the point of becoming a cultural fad. Philanthropists are contributing big money to projects, higher education is developing departments, and social writers are taking the subject to the bestseller list. I was one of the speakers recently at the Norman Vincent Peale conference on value -oriented leadership. The conference brought together several thoughtful academics, CEOS , and consultants to discuss this subject with heads of businesses. Many fine points and illustrations were brought up and discussed. My talk certainly did not disagree with the need for right values and ethics. However, I did point out that we need to root our human values in divine virtues or we end up controlled by our human desires and made variable by our selfish interest. To have complete authenticity and authority over our behavior requires that our values be rooted in divine virtues not those that we have manufactured, but those we have discovered that are given by God. Our authority needs to be outside ourselves. Christ based his values in God. Just as Newton did not create the law of gravity but discovered it, so we cannot create virtues but can only discover them and make them the source of our values. Let me illustrate the danger of a manufactured virtue by examining tolerance, which has been elevated by our society to a universal virtue. Fruit inspectors Intolerance has become societys unforgivable sin. We hear only bigots are judgmental. Seemingly the intolerant do not deserve to be tolerated.

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Tolerance is attractive to our society because it is permissive. It is pleasant because it doesnt require hard thinking. Clichs and bumper stickers can deal with it. Best of all, its nonconfrontational. Our society has lost the willingness to confront error in search of truth. These benefits are all given by Satan as an allure. As usual, sin gives the benefit first and extracts the price later. Blaise Pascal warns us, It is false piety to preserve peace at the expense of truth. We must ask, Is tolerance a divine virtue or a contrived value that accommodates our present society? I am convinced that the way in which society now practices tolerance is a manufactured value that, when practiced to excess, will ultimately prove harmful. Probably the worst thing that can be said about an individual today is that he is judgmental. When being judgmental is based on self-righteousness, it is a sin. Scripture warns us repeatedly against judging others as if we were better than they. Christ condemned the Pharisee who was judgmental toward the publican. Paul laid down the principle that even small sinners are not to condemn big sinners, since we all are sinners. Oswald Chambers tells us that we are not to see the wrong in others in order that we might criticize them, but that we might intercede for them. One of the most saintly women Ive ever known was also one of the most sophisticated. She showed spiritual discernment when she said, Fred, theres not a sin of which I am not capable. I could be a prostitute. I could be a drunk. I could be a murderer. I thought that was a humble thing for a saint to say, so I condescendingly said, Youre being very humble. She said, You dont believe me, do you? I said, No. She said, If theres any sin that anyone has committed of which I am not capable, then Im incapable of loving that person. The same sin that is in him is in me. The God who loves that person has told me that I must love him too. Rather than being judgmental, we are to be discerning. Howard Butt, Jr., founder of the Laity Lodge and a lay minister, preached a great sermon in his early years, proclaiming Christians to be fruit inspectors rather than judges. We are told to inspect the fruit of others, not to belittle them or to demean themeven to the point of being told not to call them fools for fear of judgment. Yet we are told in Scripture, By their fruit ye shall know them. It is one thing to know fruit, another thing to judge individuals. Fruit inspection is our job; judging is Gods. I believe that discernment is one of the spiritual gifts, and if we were not to be able to tell the differences between good and evil, there would be no point in our ability to discern. When we accept total tolerance as our rule, we deny discernment as our gift. Discernment is not given to us so we can criticize but so that we can coach; it is not given to us to point out weakness but to help build up strength and to avoid error. Our fruit inspection must always be according to the principles of Scripture, which we did not author but under which we live, the same as the person we are observing. When a minister holds
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the Bible up to an audience and says, The Bible says, he is not pronouncing his judgment but Gods judgment. He is not the author of judgment, he is the reporterand under the same judgment. When dealing with a subject like this, a leader can be exceptionally emotional or exceptionally logical. I prefer logic to emotionnot raising my voice, being demeaning, or trying to make fun of the other side. Such antics only solidify the opposition. Ive got to avoid the accusation that Im judgmental. I cant say, Dont be self-righteous, and then be so myself. I cant insinuate that everybody with intelligence holds my position. At times I will even say, Now, I changed my position here after rethinking it. Another reason for fruit inspection is that we might see our own sins in others and correct our sins, not theirs. Paul constantly reminded us that as we see the other persons sin, we are really seeing our own. Again, Paul says, He who is spiritual judges all things. He did not say all people. In the Parable of the Prodigal Son, the elder brother got mad because his self-righteousness was not recognized as superior to his younger brothers repentance and rewarded accordingly. I think he would have gladly let the young man come back as his servant, but the father didnt want a servant, he wanted a son. A servant received wages; a son received love and acceptance. Those who brought to Christ the woman caught in adultery wanted to see her punished, and Christ made them conscious of their self-righteousness. He repeatedly opposed the white sepulchers of the relig ious leaders. Three tests of tolerance I see three tests a leader can use when evaluating the concept of tolerance: 1. Is it taste or is it truth? I wrote a friend recently, Youre tolerant in your taste, but youre intolerant in your truth. It was a compliment. Christ said, I am the truth. But in matters of taste, we should be tolerant. Too often we ritualize our taste into orthodoxy. I cannot worship in an atmosphere of contemporary music, even though many times the words are actually more scriptural than some of those in old hymns that I feel I must hear while worshiping. It is a matter of taste, not of truth. Therefore I should not criticize the young people who find in contemporary music their worship, so long as it contains truth. Recently I was in Quebec, attending an Episcopal service. The three priests were garmented ecclesiastically, while the young man who read the Scripture from the pulpit was in shorts and the young lady who took the offering was wearing jeans. Their taste was different than mine. So long as the truth remained, I had to agree with their truth while differing with their taste.

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Many times I have been tempted to refuse a perfectly good load simply because it came in an unattractive wagon. The wagon is not the focal point, the loa d is. Ive always admired the admonition of the minister who said that when we are feeding on truth and run across a thorn that we do not believe, we should at least have the sense of a mule, which, while eating hay and discovering a thorn, doesnt stop eating the hay; it simply pushes the thorn aside and keeps on eating. 2. Is it preference or principle? Our preferences can vary; our principles cannot, because our principles must be scriptural. In controversial matters I have to be sure Im not practicing my preference rather than biblical principle. Style and cultural habits are largely preference, not principle forms of worship, translations, vestments, rituals, and the like. When I first became chairman of Youth for Christ, I began meeting a lot of young people who shocked me with their long hair, jewelry, and clothes. As I got to know them, I found they were much deeper Christians than many of my friends with short hair, less jewelry, and three-piece suits. Our spiritual life doesnt depend on the barber shop. Once I was listening to a jazz group from South Africa that was being interviewed on television. The leader was asked if they had racial problems, since half of them were white and half were black. He said, No, we got over the racial issue a long time ago. We still have our cultural differences. That was illuminating to me. I may have preferences, which I want to maintain, but they are not matters of principle. 3. Is God tolerant in this area? I think we can be tolerant where God is tolerant, and we cannot be tolerant where God is not tolerant. In my study of Scripture, Ive not found God to be tolerant. He is patient, merciful, kind, loving, and forgiving all qualities that handle our human problems so much better than tolerance. His judgments are always the same. That is why Christ died, that he might have mercy and grace with justice. Here are two of the primary things society expects us to be tolerant about where God is intolerant: First is the false teaching that all religions are the same: all are different roads leading to the same place. This teaching humanizes God and deifies man. It makes the Cross unnecessary, with Christ dying as a martyr, not a sacrifice. It indicts missionaries as presumptuous. Stanley Jones in a college chapel told how he went out as a missionary and came back not seeing a difference in his belief and others until he read the Scripture: The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. In other religions the word remained the word, while in Christianity the Word became flesh.

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If all religions are the same, then the martyrs are fools. Yet the Scripture has a special place at the throne for them. Moreover, if the Cross is unnecessary, the missionaries presumptuous, and the martyrs foolish, then Scripture is untrue, for it says, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man cometh to the Father except by Me. I always have a twinge of conscience when I quote that, for I remember walking down Fifth Avenue in New York one morning with an unbelieving executive friend who said to me , Fred, do you believe that anyone who doesnt accept Christ will go to hell? When I told him I did, he said, If I believed that, Id crawl on my hands and knees and tell every friend Ive got. I have never lost the sting of that. One of the great ministers whom some would consider a liberal was standing at a busy intersection in New York with another of my friends. He turned to him and said, Do you believe that all these people who dont believe in Jesus are going to hell? When my friend said he did, the minister said, You dont live like it. Second, society expects us to be tolerant about sin, to embrace moral relativism. God is not tolerant toward sin. The soul that sins shall die. The Good News is that God is not tolerant but forgiving. We as humans have to tolerate the person in his fallen condition, but God can restore us to newness of life when his conditions are met. How much better to be forgiven than tolerated! Recently I was sitting at the head table of the Bill Glass annual dinner for his prison ministry, and at the first table in front of me was a man whose face shone with glory. In the middle of his talk, the speaker stopped and said he wanted to introduce someone to the audience. He called this man up, and as they stood at the micropho ne the speaker said to him, George, Im going to tell these people what I said to you the first time I met you, and youre going to tell them what you said back to me. With this the speaker said, George, I understand youre an ex-convict, youre an ex-druggie, youre an ex-pusher, youre an ex-mean dude. And what did you say? The man whose face shone said quietly, Sir, I said, Im no ex-anything. Im a new creation in Christ Jesus. The Good News is, we can be changed; we can be clean, not just tolerated. Contrast that with a politician who recently spoke to a gathering of lesbians and said, We must broaden our imagination. The saints of old always warned against trying to broaden the narrow way. Its human nature to want to broaden the narrow way, but it cant be broadened, because truth can never be broadened.
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Error can be subtle, truth is absolute; truth cannot contain error, but error can contain truth. You can have 1 percent error and 99 percent truth but still have error. Or you can have 99 percent error and 1 percent truth and still have error. Satan has a broader choice of subtlety in his error than we have in truth. Thats why its so important we have an authority for the truth; we cannot be our own authority for truth. Scripture says our minds are deceitful. I cannot be my own authority for challenging such a big position, and I have to state that authority and be under that authority. God goes beyond tolerance. He loves. Tolerance ultimately is a total disconnect. Love is a total connection. Tolerance is apathy toward others. It may even be controlled hostility. To tolerate is passive, to love is active. Love doesnt ignore the other for its own convenience. It disciplines, it suffers, it challenges, it corrects. The Scripture tells us that Gods correction is evidence of his love. Today we are told that sexual experience between consenting adults is exclusively their affair. That assumes that no one loves either of them. There is a responsibility to loving, and maybe a greater responsibility to being loved. My friend Ray Stedman was telling me how he went to a homosexual gathering on the campus of Stanford, where a gay minister and a lesbian were chiding the church about how judgmental it is. The lesbian pointed to how Christ didnt judge the woman at the well. Without disclosing that he was a preacher, Ray simply said, But she was never the same after she met him. Likewise, the Christian obligation is not self-righteous judgment but self-sacrificing love. The implications of complete tolerance for the social order are chaos and decadence. This was pointed out in Judges: Everyone did what was right in his own eyes. Tolerance is in the end social hypocrisy. A lasting community cannot be built on it. Love, not apathy, is the glue that holds a group together. On the other hand, social tolerance is a narcotic. It anesthetizes us to reality. Like a drug, it gives a short-term benefit and a long-term liability. When our body becomes tolerant to disease, we are in the process of death. Just as the body fights its enemies so we should fight those things that destroy usnot in the spirit of meanness but for survival and health. I was listening to an interview with Eddie Robinson, a football coach at Grambling for fiftyseven years. He said winning the game was never as important as winning the man. He was not a tolerant coach. There never has been a championship coach who was tolerant. Recently I was talking with the best-known jewel thief of our time, Murf the Surf. He did the eulogy for famed Chaplain Ray of prison ministry. I asked him what Chaplain Ray had that was so attractive to prisoners. Murf replied, Chaplain Ray never saw you as a convict. He always saw you as who you could be with Christ.
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We must be careful that we dont sacrifice t ruth on the altar of popular acceptance. Horatius Bonar says it better than I: True Christianity calls sin sin in whomever it is found and would rather risk the accusation of being motivated by a bad spirit than not discharge explicit duty. It does not fear to speak the stern word of condemnation against error nor to raise its voice against surrounding evils knowing that it is not of this world. It does not shrink from giving honest reproof lest it come under the charge of displaying an unchristian spirit. The religion of both Old and New Testament is marked by fervent, outspoken testimonies against evil. To not do this is a betrayal of the cause of truth and righteousness.1

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9 HELPING PEOPLE GIVE WITH JOY MONEY IS AN IMPORTANT SCRIPTURAL CONCERN. It shapes life in America as much as or more than any other single item. An amazing amount of wealth is coming out of todays stock market and booming economy. The best-selling book The Millionaire Next Door is not a fable, it represents fact. More and more people are asking financial advice, but are they getting the necessary spiritual advice they need? It is the spiritual leaders responsibility to get involved in the financial lives of those for whom he is responsible. That does not solely mean speaking about the amount they give to the budget but helping them develop a philosophy of getting, keeping, and giving. For too long pastors have been self-conscious, trying to avoid the money-grubbing syndrome. Here are several principles to consider when helping the people you lead to handle their money with integrity: 1. Giving may be harder than earning. I cannot imagine a more difficult or dangerous way of life than to spend the bulk of my time giving away my money to worthy causes, especially Christian causes. I say difficult, for profitable stewardship requires a new and more strenuous discipline than making the money. I say dangerous because of the temptations confronting those with money to give. 2. Giving must move from duty to joy. The sheer administrative monotony can turn the joy of giving into dull duty. A. T. Cushman, the past chairman of Sears, told me years ago, Fred, the art of administration is constant checking. But when done right, giving moves people from duty to joy. A psychiatrist specializing in a lcohol abuse reported, We now know why some individuals after staying sober for years return to drink while others never go back. Those who labor every day, vowing not to drink today, may become overwhelmed with the onerous burden and start drinking again. On the other hand, those who move from the vow of sobriety to the joy of sobriety never go back. Freedom comes in crossing the line from duty to joy. Theologically, freedom comes in moving from works to grace. 3. Generous giving is a lifestyle. That involves more than money or appreciated assets or techniques and programs. It involves our spiritual maturity. How often am I willing to pray, Lord, prosper me financially in proportion to my spiritual maturity? What a snare it is if we try to bribe God with financial gifts to rationalize our failure to offer him our spiritual gifts.

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4. Motive is imperative. Biblical wisdom tells us, Out of the heart are the issues of life. In the New Testament, Ananias and Sapphira wanted the full credit for giving while only giving partially. Their greed for reputation cost them their lives. In praising the widows gift of a mite, Christ showed he is more interested in motive than amount. Here are several common motives for giving: Tax deductions. Many prefer to give to the church rather than to the government. Charitable organizations are anxious to protect the tax deduction, believing it produces gifts. Peer pressure. A CEO of a large corporation had a reputation as a great fund-raiser. In actuality, he suggested that those doing business with him contribute specified amounts. He was a fundraiser, but not a giver. Many charitable and religious institutions send me lists of their donors by classification. That is peer pressure. Some fund-raisers urge ministries to create annual, even semi-annual, emergencies, knowing that people give to emergencies. I have been chairman of several national ministries and know from experience that a great many of the emergencies are contrived or exist due to poor management. Again, pressure is often put on wealthy people to create human immortality by grants and buildings that perpetuate their name. Obedience. Obedience is an excellent motivation if done out of respect, not fear. A successful businessman without deep religious convictions was told by his relatives that unless he contributed liberally to the church, God would take away his wealth. That is just as wrong as telling people that if they will give, God will increase their wealth. I know many devoted Christians, tithers and also givers, who are and will remain perpetually poor. I was leading a retreat for wealthy entrepreneurs when the subject of giving came up. I told them that I thought the New Testament taught proportional giving, certainly not less than the tithe. Suddenly I heard myself say, Tithing is an Old Testament scheme to help the rich get out of giving. One of the men who had just given $4 million with great publicity laughed out loud. He recognized that he could spill more than he had given and not miss it, yet he had been given such high praise for his gift. Obedient giving is not to obligate God but to obey him. Gratitude and love. Christian giving should reflect our gratitude and love for the Lord. Hans Selye, the Nobel Prize winner and authority on emotional stress, said that gratitude is the most healthy of all emotions. I also find it the most fragile, with the shortest shelf life. Christian gratitude, beginning at Calvary, should show itself in our love, and love is extravagant.

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Gods glory. What promotes Gods glory? Do our gifts make others think of him and not us? Is it a witness to our belief in his grace and immortality? When we give for his glory, we must be careful not to try to share the glory, because God says he will not share his glory with us. Three types of gifts Giving is more than turning over ownership of an asset. Lets consider three situations, which may all be termed gifts. They may not vary by the amount, but they vary greatly by the motive, effect, and reward: 1. The gift. The purest is the anonymous gift. The gift becomes known but not the giver or at least the giver does not let it be advertised to his glory. The widows mite was known but not because she rang the bell with the gift. She quietly demonstrated her faith with her sacrifice not knowing anyone would notice. For us, it may be easy to be an anonymous small giver but far more difficult to be an anonymous large giver. Maxey Jarman told me a funny story of a New York fund-raising dinner with people standing up identifying themselves and making pledges to the charitable cause. One man rose, gave his name, his wifes name, his business, its location and merchandise, and then loudly announced that they wanted to give $5,000 anonymously! When people give anonymously only to keep from being known as a giver and to keep their name off the many lists of givers, they are not giving anonymously for the right reason. Maybe it is difficult to truly give anonymously because in our heart of hearts we do not yet believe we are giving to God and that he sees and is pleased and will reward us as he sees fit. 2. A purchase posing as a gift. Here the giver buys a reward, which is generally recognition or social position. One of the most effective fund-raisers in Dallas is a wonderful lady who has a club, and in order to belong you must give at least $10,000 each year. It is well publicized. Your gift purchases you a reputation. It would be more accurate to classify this giving as an expense. It is the price of admission. When we give for any reason other than as a gift to God, we receive our reward here. As Scripture says of the Pharisees, They have their reward. It does not say the reward is wrong or inappropriate, it simply says when you give for human reasons you get human rewards. If you want the reward here you get it here but there is no reward in heaven. You can enjoy the reputation as a great philanthropist, but you cannot earn sainthood. We all know we can purchase a position in an organization with the right-sized gift. Sometimes, we are purchasing power. I have a wealthy friend who is very generous, yet he admits that he is involved in the spending of the money to the point of total control of the ministry. The control is the benefit he buys with the money. Yet Scripture warns repeatedly not to treat the rich any better (or worse) than the poor. Ive seen people who have discovered the power of being a potential major donor and receive all the benefits and privileges of those who give without actually giving themselves. The ministry does not want to discourage their implied future gifts.

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Another friend promised a ministry $20 million in stock but kept the stock in order to retain the voting power it gave him with the corporation. He believed he knew what was best for the ministry. In the end, the value of the stock went from above $50 per share to $1. 3. Giving as investment. Giving as investment is particularly attractive to those who are acquisitive and concerned more with leverage and return than with gratitude and love. They believe they are protecting God from others misuse of money. I once asked a friend with this profile to give to a struggling minister doing an excellent (but small) work in the inner city. He quickly informed me that he did not give to small things. He gave only to those who had the capacity to change the whole system. An example of another type of investment giving is the young man who was a significant contributor to hospitals. His friends told me he gave in order to get preferential treatment should he ever need it. Investors give for returns and, ideally for them, the return will be greater than the gift. A highly successful Christian entrepreneur recently sold his business for an enormous sum. In the paper he reported, I am going to give a lot of it away. My parents told us we could not outgive God and that whatever we gave away would come back multiplied. That is not giving but investing. It is not just a reward but a return on investment that is expected. It is less gratitude than greed. Ultimate reward The ultimate reward for the profitable servant is to hear the Master say, Well done, enter into my joy. To desire to be a profitable servant requires a great deal more humility than most people possess. Money makes it more attractive and tempting to play the master. In the parable, the Master did not ask the servant how well-known he was, what his standing was in the community, how he enjoyed himself, or what his future plans were. He simply asked, How were you profitable to me? In the humblest terms, a profita ble servant is like the ox who grinds out the corn. He doesnt own the corn. Nor does he get much of it to eat. But he does fulfill his purpose in life. When we help others to fulfill their purpose completely, they can expect the joy of the Lord. Profitability to the Master out of love and gratitude is a great and proper calling.

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10 MENTORING THE NEXT GENERATION MENTORING IS BACK IN FAVOR AGAIN, like a wonderful old story that hasnt been told for so long it sounds new. In some ways it has taken on the characteristics of a fad; if too much is expected too soon, it will fail. Mentoring may seem new, but actually it is an update of one of the oldest and best methods of learning. In times before degrees were mandatory, the mentoring system was the accepted one, not only in manual skills but in the professions, such as in medicine and law. I have heard respected pastors say they believe the apprentice system of pastoring would be more effective than most seminary programs. Ray Stedman, who pastored Peninsula Bible Church for many years, believed in and practiced the apprentice method. He always had a few young men on staff who would travel with himtogether they would study, observe, and delineate the scriptural principles of life. These young men saw how the work was done successfully and how they could apply their learning in a practical way. During the Second World War, industry discovered that when workers learned new skills, they did not retain the information unless they used it immediately. Simultaneous learning and doing is the secret of cooperative education. There are several types of mentoring. I will discuss three: role model, lifestyle, and, the more common, skills-art mentoring. Role model Role models personify whom we would like to become. My wife, Mary Alice, had three women in her life who laid out the path she wanted to walk. The first was her high school teacher, Miss Brown, who was stately, dignified, totally ladylike. Mary Alice saw in her what she felt a southern lady should be, and she wanted to be that. Even today, after being away from Miss Brown for more than fifty years, she will refer to her as the perfect lady. Next was her Bible teacher, Mrs. Keen, who taught a group of young mothers to understand the Scripture. Her cup overflowed with love and grace from the Lord to those in her class. Mary Alice would say of her, She is what a Christian should be. Then there was Miss Gordon, a tiny, immaculate, white-haired woman in her eighties. She was raised in culture and wealth but spent a great deal of her time reaching prisoners. On occasion we would take her to church, and other times we would simply visit. We were with her as Gert Behanna was with her Episcopal priest: we sat and warmed our hands in the warmth of her love. She personified the quiet power of victory. When she passed away, it was a short step from here to heaven.
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Mary Alice found in these three women role models who mentored her adult life and vectored her lifestyle. They influenced her not by what they had but by who they were. Observation and identification are the important elements in role-model mentoring. Often the role model is not conscious of his or her effect on another. Sometimes there is little personal contact between the two. Sometimes a role model will be a character from the Bible. Some say, Im like Peter or I resonate with Paul. Another, Mine is a quiet witness, like Andrew. We often look to historical figures for our models. As you know by now, Fenelon, the French priest, is my daily mentor. Though he lived and wrote three hundred years ago, he still speaks to me. He holds me just as accountable through my reading of his ancient writings as if we were talking on the phone. Lifestyle mentoring Another form of mentoring defines the principles of living. Recently I heard a young man say, My grandfather was everything to me. He loved me, and he taught me how to live. How fortunate to have an older person in ones life about whom you can say that. As we look at the Scripture for lifestyle mentoring, we immediately think of Paul and Timothy. From the text we dont know how much technical skill as a missionary Paul gave Timothy, but we do know Paul was an excellent sponsor. We know he was a father in the faith. He let Timothy observe him at work. Paul promoted him to the churches. In the broad sense, we could call Paul a lifestyle mentor to Timothy. This type of mentoring is a kind of parenting without the typical parental responsibilities. The real responsibility falls on the young person to absorb and to observe correctly. For years Zig Ziglar and I have met to talk. Zig gets out his paper and pencil, even though he has a far better memory for material than most people. When he and I discussed this chapter, Zig said, Be sure to tell the person being mentored to make notes. No one should trust his memory with anything this important. Another friend, Dr. Ramesh Richard, will invariably put his electronic notetaker on the table as we begin to talk. He says he has a complete file of all our past conversations. For over forty years in observing my mentor, Maxey Jarman, I made notes of everything I saw him do or heard him say that I thought was meaningful. After he retired and I was in my sixties, I went alone to our place at the lake and transcribed all those notes. When I told him what I had done, his only remark was, What a waste. He didnt see himself as a mentor in the normal sense. You had to watch to learn. When I asked him to review my notes, he offered to give me a memorandum amplifying anything he felt I had not seen fully. I put his sixteen-page memo with my hundreds of pages of notes and observations over the forty years of our friendship.

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The responsibility of the lifestyle mentor is to be open, real, and to consistently personify who he is so the young person receives a clear signal. The mentor must provide a comfortable atmosphere in which the student feels free to ask any question he needs answered. Sometimes its profitable for a young person to make a list of questions. One of the men Ive worked with for several years is coming to Dallas with a list of questions he wants me to answer before I go into the senile eclipse. These may be questions about the older persons life or questions the younger person is or will be facing. For example, the learner may want to ask the mentor, What were the major decisions in your life? What were the circumstances and what were the principles involved in your decision-making? How did you evaluate the outcome? These questions help in forming a case study. The more probing the questions, the better the learning. A good mentor never ridicules a question. He may choose not to answer it, but he is careful never to ridicule, for questions are the pump that makes the answers flow. Im an inveterate notetaker. Rarely do I hear anything, read anything, or even think anything that I feel I should retain that I dont commit to paper. Ive been doing this now for fifty years. Skills-Art mentoring Role-model and lifestyle are unique forms of mentoring and certainly are in the minority of mentoring relationships. Mentoring normally is done to improve skills and the art of performance. Increasingly churches are starting mentoring programs. I have participated in a few, and from my experience have come to believe that the concept of mentoring is not generally well understood. Often what it becomes is simply older men visiting with younger men without an agenda. These visits sometimes turn into Bible study or prayer times. These are excellent activities, but they are not mentoring. Mentoring is a one-on-one relation between a mentor and mentoree for the specific and definable development of a skill or an art. One of my favorite mentoring stories is of the young pianist who came to Leonard Bernstein and asked to be mentored by him. Bern stein said, Tell me what you want to do, and I will tell you whether or not youre doing it. When you analyze this, you realize Bernsteins deep understanding of mentoring. The young man initiated the contact, he had a specific request, and he made the request of an authoritynot that he might get rich as a concert pianist or famous like Bernstein, but that he might become a better pianist. Bernstein essentially said to the young man, Youre responsible for your playing and your practice. The one thing you cant do is hear yourself as a great pianist hears you. That I can do and will do for you.

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The study of mentoring can be organized, but not the application of it. Effective mentoring has no set formula. Its a living relationship and progresses in fits and starts. It can involve a specific area or several areas. For example, one big area of need is the improvement of decision-making. Goal-setting is another. However, these must be specific. The goal may be broad, but in skills-art mentoring it must be specific. Ive discovered it is not difficult to make a list of desired characteristics in a mentor. However, like characteristics of a leader, they are in combination and not equally balanced. To some degree, however, each of these qualities should be in a mentor:

1. The two must share a compatible philosophy. Our goals and methods are really an expression of our philosophy. If the goal is to be Christian, the philosophy must be built on divine principles. To me, wisdom is the knowledge and application of scriptural principles; not the citing of verses or telling of stories, but the definition of the principles. I usually illustrate this by the biblical principle: God will not do for you what you can do for yourself, nor will he let you do for yourself what only he can do. It is wrong to pray for a miracle, for instance, when God has given us the mental ability, opportunity, and facilities to accomplish what we should do. To ask for a miracle is to ask God to be redundant. But he will not let us do for ourselves what only he can do. For example, he will not let us gain our salvation by works; it is only by his grace. On the other hand, if the goal is based on humanistic values, then the result will be cultural, not Christian. Human philosophy often exploits our greed and selfishness. Human philosophy promotes self-love and self-aggrandizement. Recently a young man came to me asking that I help him make a million dollars. That was his lifes goal. He has a materialistic, humanistic philosophy. I told him that we did not agree on philosophy; therefore, I would not be a good mentor for him. 2. The mentor should be knowledgeable in the subject and objective in his criticism. The mentor who simply says what the other wants to hear is irresponsible. He should not counsel in matters in which he is not an expert or pass judgment in subjects beyond his limitation. The young pianist was right in going to Bernstein, because he was an authority, a knowledgeable expert, and an objective critic for the young pianist. It is important that the mentor on occasion admit, I dont know. Ive had no experience with that. It is good when he has a broad network of knowledgeable friends who might be helpful on occasion. That is one of the strengths of Mayo Clinic. It can call in experts when an individual doctor gets beyond his or her expertise.

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Once a young, brash president of a growing corporation was being dangerously extravagant. Though I was on the board, he wasnt accepting my authority on the subject. I got him an appointment with the CEO of a major corporation, who successfully warned him and possibly saved the company. 3. The mentor must genuinely believe in the potential of the mentoree. A mentor cannot do serious thinking about the needs of the learner or spend the necessary time with him without believing in his potential. A mentor isnt doing what hes doing to be a nice guy. Then there may be times when the learner loses confidence in himself, particularly after a failure, and he will need the mentor to restore his confidence. I had breakfast with a young executive in Dallas, and I asked him to tell me his story. He said, Until early in my twenties, I amounted to nothing. I think that was due to the fact that I was raised in a fundamentalist family who believed it was wrong to say anything good about anyone that might stir up his pride. I felt there was nothing special about me until my Sunday school teacher put his arm around my shoulders and said, I believe in you. Gradually this young man began to believe in himself. From that time, he started to climb the executive ladder. 4. A good mentor helps define the vision, the goal, and the plan. So many young men I talk to have several options for their life, and they are not equipped to choose the right one. They hesitate at the thought of giving up the others. Recently I had lunch with a young man who graduated from a prestigious European university with high marks and told me he had tested genius in thirteen areas. Yet he had done nothing, though he was in his early thirties. I was talking to another man in the same general circumstances, and I said, You could have married six or eight girls, but you chose one. You will have to do the same with your goal. Choosing a specific goal is the key to many other activities. The goal defines the discipline, creates the energy, and gives the measure of progress. Clarifying the goal is a crucial step in the mentoring process. It controls so many other elements. I try to find whether the individuals goal is formed by outside or inside influences. Is his accomplishment to please or impress others or to satisfy himself? The image of success has become prevalent in our society. I want to know what gives him his deepest satisfaction. What, to him, has meaning? What does he do easily? What does he learn quickly and remember clearly? Is the goal realistic, considering his talent, opportunities, and facilities? Sometimes a person will say, I know where I want to go, but I dont know how to get there. I have found it much easier to work out the map once you know the destination. Be sure the plan is

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as simple as it can be. Elaborate plans seldom get carried out. Too often, complicated plans are a subconscious attempt to avoid doing. Paul J. Meyer, creator of Sales Motivation Institute, spent the day with me when he was a young salesman going over the four-step program he had for his life. I was so impressed I asked him for a copy, and he gave me the original, written on a piece of yellow paper, which I still have in my files. In our original conversation, he said that after you set the specific goal, you work the plan, then forget the goal, and develop enthusiasm for the plan, knowing that if you work the plan, you will reach the goal. 5. The chemistry must be good. The first evidence of this is clear communication. Each must clearly and easily understand the other. Before I start to work with someone, I check this out by talking for a few minutes and then asking the person to repeat what Ive said. Sometimes Im amazed at what I hear. Its difficult to work well together unless each communicates well with the other. Intuitiona feeling of the spirit of each otheris also important. When our spirits are in harmony, then we can work until our communications are clear. We wont jump to conclusions or get carried off into prejudices. I find this particularly true when working between races. Often our communications are controlled by certain grids. For example, our value system is a grid. If someone said to me, I dont believe the Bible, that wo uld immediately get stopped by my value grid. I would find myself subconsciously devaluing what that person said. There are several grids through which our communications must go. Communication, to me, is understanding, not agreement. I hear people say that their problem is a lack of communication, when it may actually be genuine difference of opinion. No amount of communication will change that. 6. The mentor needs the experience and originality to develop options rather than decisions. Often individuals with whom I work initially become frustrated that I will not give them advice but rather options from which they can choose. If I give advice, then Im taking over responsibility for their decision-making, and that is not my function. Furthermore, how a decision is carried out is as important as the decision, and the mentor cant control the carrying out. The mentor must never take over the decision-making responsibility for the individual. After the mentor has given options and ramifications, an intelligent learner will generally select the correct one, the one he believes in most and therefore the one that will get his best effort. A good mentor is not a quick-fix artist. 7. The mentor must be able to commit to a person and to a situation. Once I was involved in a land development requiring large amounts of money from a New England bank. The loan officer
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was careful in exploring all the details. He explained, Dont think Im being too careful. I dont want to get you halfway across the river. When we commit to a mentor, we commit to the person all the way across. That will take time and thinking. I must be willing to take a phone call any time it comes from a mentoree in stress. 8. The mentor must be given the responsibility to hold the mentoree accountable. That the mentoree gives this responsibility to the mentor is important, because this avoids his becoming resentful or quietly rebellious or hostile. Accountability is a major feature of mentoring. I tell one of my mentorees that my accountability factor is like the tail on a kiteit keeps it from darting around. Accountability is not control. In mentoring it is pointing out objectively what is happening and asking if that is what the mentoree wants. At no time should the mentor take control over the others life. The mentor is a counselor, not a boss.Accountability is confined to the area of mentoring. It is not open season on all areas of a persons life. If we are mentoring in professional matters, it doesnt give us the right to invade family matters. Traits of a good mentoree There are also certain traits essential to an effective mentoree. Some may have to be developed more as the relationship develops. 1. The mentoree must be honest with himself. Effective mentoring must be based on reality. To me, two of the most important words in life are current reality. That means being committed to things as they are, not as we wish they were. We may want them to be different and be willing to work to make them different, but for the present we have to deal with things as they are. I am particularly sensitive to what the psychologists call transference. The mentoree must own the situation before he can correct it or develop it. Recently I stopped working with a young man because he had been dishonest about his financial situation. He admitted he was in debt but said that it was his wifes fault, which he couldnt control. A prominent psychiatrist once told me that Americas second greatest sin, after refusing to delay gratification, is transference, at the heart of so much of the victim syndrome. Those who feel they are victims generally expect more than they are due. I applaud the individual who is handicapped in some way (mentally, socially, physically) but has accepted it as a challenge and no longer sees himself as a victim but as a victor. Its easy to work a little harder and a little longer with people who think that way. An executive Ive admired for years had an eye put out when he was a small boy. When he entered an Ivy League school, he checked the records and found that no one had ever made straight As and four letters in athletics. He did it, with one eye. He later became vice-president of a major corporation. He was a winner, not a victim.

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2. A mentoree must be a good student. A truly good student enjoys the growth process as well as the reward. When I became intrigued with golf, I thoroughly enjoyed the practice and the study of the game. Great teachers want to find great students. With my mentor I tried to be a good student. That entailed several things for me: First, I never tried to impress him with my knowledge. I always exposed to him my ignorance. To hide my ignorance from a teacher is as foolish as hiding my sickness from a doctor. A humble person is always conscious of his ignorance more than his knowledge. Dr. Walter Hearn, who was a biochemist at Yale University, surprised me once by saying, Fred, every night when you go to bed you ought to be more ignorant than you were when you woke up. I took this facetiously until he explained that if I thought of my knowledge as a balloon and every day that balloon increased in size, it would touch more and more ignorance on the periphery. Therefore my knowledge brought me into contact with my greater ignorance. The arrogant are proud of their knowledge; the humble are acquainted with their ignorance. A good student never tries to use his mentor. A person with a well-known mentor can be tempted to refer to him in ways that really use him, particularly in quoting him out of context. The mentor is for progress, not ego satisfaction. On a few occasions I have been abused by someone claiming me as his mentor when there was no relation. A good student works to ask the right questions. Right questions come from thought, analysis, and discernment. He never asks an idle or careless question. It is demeaning to the mentor. There is power in a good question. Recently a young professor told me how following an awards program he asked a prominent man two questions, and the man concentrated on answering only those two questions to the disregard of all those trying to shake hands with him. I have found writing out my questions beforehand helpful in minimizing the verbiage. A good student does his homework. In dealing with my two mentors, I never called them unless I had written down on paper what I wanted to talk to them about. When we met, I had organized my questions; I knew it was not a social situation. If later we wanted to spend some social time together, that would be up to them, not me. In fact, I never walked into their office and sat down until I was invited to sit down. They had to know I was not going to waste their time. 3. The mentoree must show reasonable progress. Progress is the pay the mentoree gives the mentor. Currently I spend at least 50 percent of my time mentoring talented individuals. I make no charge. But I get amply paid by the vicarious accomplishments of these individuals. Putting our lives into the lives of others is the best way to attain human immortality. In the New York obituary of my mentor, it said, The awesome intellect of him is gone. I can refute that, for as long as I and others whom he mentored live, he lives.
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4. The mentoree needs to develop disciplines to maintain his gains. Discipline always starts with a habit, and when the habit is practiced enough it turns into a reflex, and then it doesnt have to be consciously done anymore. Our disciplines should be more positive than negative. The only reason we employ negative disciplines is to help us perform the positive ones. Unfortunately, in Christian circles a lot of people practice negative disciplines and consider this Christianity. They dont realize the negatives are practiced in order to release time, energy, and resources to do the positive. Let me show you what I mean with a silly illustration: Your wife sends your son to the grocery store for a loaf of bread. She gives him the money, asks him to hurry, not to stop and play with his friends, not to get dirty, and not to lose the money. He hurries off and comes back without the bread. When she questions him, he says, You told me to hurry. I did. You told me not to stop to play. I didnt. You said not to get dirty. I didnt. You said not to lose the money, and I didnt. I didnt do what you told me not to do. Nor did he get the bread. The negatives were to promote him in the positive of getting the bread. He avoided the negatives but didnt complete the positive. Too often we police people with the negatives rather than inspire them with the positives. 5. The mentoree must possess vision and commitment. As a mentoree, the two most important elements are vision and commitment. A clear vision and unconditional commitment are absolutely necessary. History is replete with illustrations of great accomplishments by ordinary individuals with extraordinary vision and commitment. I vaguely recall a story about an ancient philosopher who when asked by a young man how he could get wisdom, took the young man down to the stream and held his head under the water until he nearly drowned. When he let the young man up, the philosopher said, Long for wisdom like you longed for air, and you will get it. There must be desire and passion for accomplishment definable accomplishment. I do not know how to instill passion in a mentoree. As a mentor, I try to channel it. I have found that continually reviewing the vision renews the passion. The passion works the plan, overcoming disappointments, and the plan accomplishes the goal. Ten principles of a fruitful relationship To close this chapter, let me mention several additional mentoring principles: First, in a healthy mentoring relationship, all the cards are on the table. That involves trust between the two. I am careful not to tell my wife confidential matters that are told to me. Anything given in confidence should be held in confidence.

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Second, though I have been mentoring actively for more than forty years, I cannot claim any success in improving character in adults. I have become convinced that the only improvement in character in adults is through spiritual experience, not through mentoring. Sophisticated individuals may learn to mask or hide their character flaws, but under excessive pressure they will fail. Character failures come at the most crucial time, when they can least be afforded. Dishonesty, laziness, anger, greed, selfishness, uncooperativenessall are character failures. Third, we progress by climbing, then plateauing for assimilation, then climbing again, plateauing againrepeating the process as long as we live. Unfortunately, many people reach a comfortable plateau and stop. They become seduced by comfort and routine. It is the mentors challenge to see in the mentoree a potential he does not see and to motivate him to make another climb and another plateau, and then another and another, until his full talent is developed. Fourth, not everyone can be a mentor, just as many superior performers cannot coach. Skill in performing and skill in coaching are very different. Most successful leaders have had good mentors, just as successful athletes have had good coaches. Fifth, every good man should be good at something. Helping to develop this good is the mentors responsibility. Management expert Peter Drucker has the correct idea of mentoring. When someone says of another, He is a good man, Peter asks, Good for what? Sixth, a mentor has accomplished great good when he has taught the individual the joy of accomplishment. I learned this from my mentor, Maxey Jarman. It has become so much a part of my life that when I get low, I immediately start to do something that I feel will be worthwhile. The joy of living returns. The great opera diva Beverly Sills personified this philosophy when one afternoon at a cocktail party in her apartment one guest said, Wed better leave, Beverly has to sing tonight. She protested, No, I dont have to sing tonight. I get to sing tonight. Seventh, as we progress in our relationship we should come to the place where we need no preface or qualification. My two great mentors never prefaced with me. At first that seemed rather discourteous, and then I realized they were paying me the ultimate compliment of saying that I wanted to know truth and they didnt have to adjust it or varnish it. Eighth, the mentor has a responsibility to create an atmosphere in which the learner can be honest and still respected. In good communication we need to avoid two disruptions: Never show shock at anything anyone says, for in showing shock we are setting our value structure against theirs. Instead of verbalizing shock, I like to say something neutral or noncommittal. If appropriate, I will even try to say something humorous to prevent ill feelings. Never show curiosity. Curiosity hurts good communication. I think we all would like for people to be interested in us but not curious about us. Curiosity is an invasion of our privacy and
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generally comes out of a question that has nothing to do with the main purpose of the communication. For example, if someone told me he was having an affair, I would never ask with whom. If he wants to tell me, that is his call. Ninth, I make the mentoree responsible for all contact. The individual must set up the appointment, make the calls, and so forth. I do this for a reason: I want the mentoree to know that he can break off the relationship any time he wants to simply by not contacting me. He controls the continuation of the relationship. I will never question why. Sometimes a mentoring relationship becomes nonproductive and should end. I accept this as normal. Tenth, mutual respect is crucial. I have never had any success helping anyone I did not respect. Ive tried but failed miserably. Joy of mentoring My favorite title is mentor. Zig Ziglar flattered me, after years of publicly referring to me as his mentor, by dedicating Over the Top to me. I shouldnt repeat it, but since Im over the hill rather than over the top, here is what he wrote: To my friend and mentor Fred Smith, Sr., who is fun and inspiring. He is also the wisest and most effective teacher Ive ever had. I hope you sense the seriousness and joy I feel in mentoring.

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11 ESSAYS ON COMPETENCE Maintain the Value of Compliments Compliments are so valuable they should be used sparingly in order to remain valuable. Nothing was more disturbing to me than to be paired in a round of golf with an overly courteous individual who complimented my every shot good, bad, and mediocre. He insulted my intelligence, as if I didnt know when I had made a good or bad shot. Charles Pitts was an excellent golfer who complimented only a golf shot. I can remember well on the ninth hole when I hit a ball with an eight ironhigh over a treethat landed reasonably close to the pin. He walked across the fairway, shook hands with me, and said, Thats a golf shot. He knew how to keep his compliments valuable. If we overcompliment, we not only become a Pollyanna, we lose our authority to praise. Praise should be earned. It should be specific and come from someone who knows what hes complimenting. General Maxwell Taylor said that you can cheapen yourself if you are too quick to give compliments. Compliments remain valuable when they have integrity and are given at the right time for the right reason. The Care of Cockleburs Someone said every dog needed a flea to remind him that he is a dog. Most organizations need what my mentor Maxey Jarman called corporate cockleburs. Genesco had one of the best in Lou Sutley. Mr. Jarman put him on many of the operating committees just for his dissenting value. He was highly intelligent and saw the other side of most questions, which Maxey felt should be looked at even though doing so was unpleasant. Once I was chairing a meeting in which Lou punctured several sacred balloons. I became so frustrated that I went to see Mr. Jarman in a huff and threatened not to sit in another meeting with Lou. Mr. Jarman smiled and said, He evidently is doing his job well. Hes the corporate cocklebur. We need him. Valuable cockleburs are scarce and should be carefully cultivated. Intelligent opposition dedicated to the cause may by disagreeing with us energize an integrity and courage that we can use to accomplish the mandate for our organization. Faith or Folly? There is a marked difference between scriptural faith and foolish assumptions. Wise faith responds to the promises and principles of Scripture. Folly faith is fueled by human desire, generally rationalized by deceptive proof-texting.

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A few years ago, I was teaching a Presbyterian Sunday school class on David. I pointed out that he carried the five stones because as a good entrepreneur he didnt want to be undercapitalized. I opined that he knew if he missed Goliath with the first one, he certainly had a better than even chance of getting him with one out of the five, considering his skill. A dear lady confronted me after the class saying, That cant be right. You never fail when youre working for God. What about Stephen? I asked. All the martyrs were working for God. When we abuse prayer, we are practicing faith folly. Too often prayer does not enter into the setting of our goals nearly as much as it does in the attaining of them. Better to seek Gods will in the setting than to ask him to bless the accomplishment. We should pour prayer over our human efforts like sauce over meat. Who Sets Our Priority? Years ago, Dick Halverson, former Senate chaplain, and I conducted a retreat for laypeople. He gave me great freedom when he said, Do you realize that Christ did not have a daily planner? He simply went about doing good. When the woman with the sickness stopped him as he was going to raise the dead, he simply took care of it. He didnt say, Wait a minute. Im on my way to raise the dead and thats more important than stopping your issue of blood. He simply used each opportunity to do good. When we believe that God engineers our circumstances, he sets our priority. As I get older I have come to a better perspective on how God engineers our circumstances. When I was young, I was a great planner. I still believe in planning organizational activities. However, Ive learned to leave a fle xibility in my spiritual service. Now I see instances that seemed insignificant at the time that were actually tremendously significant. A conversation with someone at the time might mean little yet might change a life. I had breakfast with a young professional and gave him one thought, which he wrote down. Later he told me, That re-vectored my life. Use and Abuse of Humor For years Ive studied the serious use of humor. I once asked Malcolm Muggeridge if there had ever been a book written about it and he said yesthere were two, and both were dreary because the men writing failed to have a sense of humor. Most books about humor end up as joke books and not about the use of humor. We all recognize humor as a relief from hostility and rising tempers. Humor can be the softest of soft answers. Humor can be a coagulating agent for diverse groups in an audience. It is often used to give a psychological break when sustained thinking becomes tired.

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There are many misuses of humor. Ill mention only three. First is the person who tells a story as if it happened to him. Since most people in the audience have likely heard the story many times before from many different people, such a tack not only decreases the effect of the story but impinges on the integrity of the teller. Second, using too much humor causes listeners to wait for the next laugh and thus ignore the serious part of the talk. Laughs generally are much more appreciated than thoughts by the average person. That is evidenced in our society being saturated with entertainment. Third, our humor should be theologically correct. I doubt we should ever laugh about hell or immorality. Ive seen cartoons in Christian publications that were contrary to their stated theological beliefs. Humor should illustrate a basic principle more than it should be decorative. The more we see good humor in human situations, the more they serve as excellent illustrations. Another important use of humor is to lubricate the needle. Some are so gifted in the use of humor that several minutes after we are away from them, we realize we were inoculated by truth with a needle lubricated with healthy humor. Consistency Is Vital Followers basically want to align with their leader, but they must have a clear idea of how to do it. The leader s consistency is the answer. An inconsistent leader confuses his followers. This creates a vacuum of leadership in which the aggressive go off on their own while the majority become immobilized, not knowing what to do for fear of making a mistake. A psychiatrist told me, Be sure your employees know what makes you smile and what makes you frown. Be consistent. Always smile at the same thing and frown at the same thing, so your people know how to make you smile and how to avoid your frown. Employees feel secure when they know they are helping the boss to smile. The False Test of Spiritual Endeavors Recently I attended a Guideposts seminar on The Power of Positive Thinking in Business. One attendee was a bright executive, vice-president of a large corporation. During the break she wanted to visit with me, because shed heard of my having mentored executives. In our conversation, she mentioned, I used to be a Methodist, but now Im all -out New Age, and it works for me. She said it with such emphasis, conviction, and triumph that I wanted to learn more of her story, but the break ended. Often I have heard leaders claim Gods blessings on their efforts because it works. Many times we rationalize a questionable method as practical because it works. But is working the real test of spiritual endeavors?
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A friend, Warren Hultgren, once pointed out to me that working isnt the perfect test, for Moses struck the rock twice and it worked. That is, water came out but he was kept from the Promised Land. Our nonscriptural human methods might work, but do they keep us from entering the Promised Land of peace and joy? Sincerity in Communication When we want to communicate, we must accept our responsibility to use language the other understands. Non-believers, particularly those without a Christian background in church or family, hear many of our revered standard phrases as pious babble. Even our tone of voice turns them off. We have adopted the seminary brogue so widely that when surfing the TV, we can tell a sermon by only a word or two. Using blessed hope and saved means a lot to those who have it and are, but nothing to those outside the Christian community. We must have enough passion to communicate that we learn the language of those outside our ranks and then use it meaningfully. In Mexico, I find myself frustrated by the inability of its people to understand English rather than by my inability to speak Spanish. Comically, I find myself talking louder and repeating myself more as if repetition and volume could create understanding. Within the Christian community, sincerity of communication must be a hallmark; we must be careful not to use our assumed personal connection with God as a persuasion tool. Healthy Attrition A certain attrition rate in aspiring leadership is healthy. The Army has 7 percent, the Marines 14, and some of the drill sergeants think it should be as high as 25. Beware of him of whom all men speak well should apply to our leadershipnot that we go out to disqualify people, but we should not maintain people who disqualify themselves, either by lack of character or gifts. I started out as a voice student hoping to make the opera. Fortunately, I had an honest teacher who one morning after a lesson said, Fred, you have everything to be a succ essful singer except talent. You cant make it. Dont waste your life trying. He was so right and so courageous. He blessed me with his honesty. I went into business where I had a talent. Remember what Spurgeon told his young students: Young man, if you cant speak, you werent called to preach. Breaking Psychological Barriers Roger Bannister did more than run the first four-minute mile in history. He broke a psychological barrier. Almost immediately, others started doing what had never been done before. They, too, ran the mile in under four minutes. Training couldnt account for that; there wasnt that much time between when he broke the record and when others also began running under four minutes.

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Leaders need to recognize and break psychological barriers for their people. The greatest barrier I have seen in the church is: The deeper life is not for me. Only a few are caught in the web of his grace. Successful Timing Proper timing is part feel and part logic. I was walking through a West Coast manufacturing plant with the president when he surprised me by saying, The most important ability of a leader is timing. Being in the right place at the right time often determines success. This isnt just luck (particularly for Calvinists). Our emotions have a lot to do with our timing. If we are too anxious, we may fire someone too early. If we are afraid, we wait too long. My experience is that many more miss proper timing by being late than by being early. Fear of making a mistake is the culprit. Genesco was thinking to start a public-relations program in New York. Maxey Jarman and I were having dinner with the public-relations executives, listening to their proposition. Afterward, walking down Fifth Avenue, he asked me what I thought. I told him I felt I needed more information before making a decision. He said, Specifically what information do you need? I think youre just procrastinating. I said, Youre right. Im scared of spending that much money. I never forgot the question Maxey asked me. Ive re-worked it into three words: Why not now? Listening to the Spirit I was speaking one night at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles to six thousand sales executives. I knew there was an hour-long cocktail party beforehand, so I figured I would need a quick way to connect with the audience. I knew some wonderful stories, slightly off-color, that would grab the groups attention and generate a big laugh. However, I didnt feel comfortable using them. As I paced my hotel room, I bowed my head and said, Lord, I wont do it, and if during my presentation the time seems right to give a witness Ill do it. About halfway into my talk I sensed a little hiatus, a transition, a sense of now. I said only a few words about my faith, but a holy hush came over the crowd. I knew something had happened. They stood and applauded and recalled me to the platform, but I didnt feel worthy to go. I knew I hadnt done it alone. For the Old Man or the New Man
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Sometimes Christians ask me if I think psychology can be used with integrity in Christian situations. My answer is yes, provided you start with a firm understanding of what the new birth is and what it means to be a new creature in Christ. There should be a difference in the way a Christian and a non-Christian approach psychology. The overriding question for the Christian is whether psychology is being used to develop what the apostle Paul called the new man or whether it is being used to revitalize the old man and make him more comfortable. People like to have the old man made comfortable. They receive comfort from hearing of a God of love, an empathetic, caring counselor kind of God, a Santa Claus God, a God to whom you can quote, Ask whatever you want, and get it. That is not prayer based on redemption but on greed. When we make the old man comfortable, we deceive our listeners and sacrifice their welfare to our own desire for comfort. Joy in Sacrifice Christians should know the joy of giving as well as the need for giving. We give to satisfy our need to give, to respond to God for what he has given us. Giving cleanses our conscience. I learned this lesson from my father, who was financially abused by the churches he served. He never made more than $3,000 a year, and yet he taught me to tithe. Not only did my dad tithe on his gross income, he gave a gift above the tithe. Ive never forgotten his example. When I was making six dollars a week I tithed sixty cents. That made it easier to give when my income was in six figures. There is a level beyond obedience in giving. I ts joy. Once we feel the joy of giving, we have received the blessing of giving. I cant explain it, but there is a connection between joy and sacrifice. Creating Thirst Dr. Howard Rome, the psychiatrist, once told me, You dont understand motivation unt il you understand thirst. Motivation is satisfying a thirst. With this insight I began to observe that many pastors present water to nonthirsty members. The person who doesnt want to understand Scripture doesnt listen even to the best teaching. Horses that are not thirsty cant be made to drink. Pastors who are thirsty to teach the Bible must find listeners who are thirsty to hear it. We must first recognize the lack of thirst and the need to create it before we give someone the satisfaction, which will then be gladly received.

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Everyone is Motivated We use the word motivation as if it were only forward motion at various speeds. This is a wrong understanding of motivation. Those who are doing nothing are motivated to do nothing. Those who are active are motivated to be active. To motivate people who are motivated to do nothing, we have to overcome the first motivation in order to get them in a forward movement. I was told by a corporate president who manufactured railroad engines that the biggest problem was harnessing enough power to start the train rolling. Aircraft designers have to build enough power into plane engines to break the pull of gravity before they can power the flight itself. As leaders we need to recognize that inertia is a motivation, not simply the lack of it. Tongue Management In Scripture the tongue is referred to as fire, one of the greatest discoveries of mankind. By it we do many things. Yet unmanaged it becomes one of the most destructive. The management of the tongue starts with the management of the heart, for out of the heart the tongue speaks. For the tongue to have freedom, the soul must have purity. It must be purged of pride, greed, hostility, or the poison of the heart will come out of the mouth. Harvesting Your Mental Activity We would hardly think of growing wheat without garnering it or tending fruit trees without picking the fruit, yet so much of the harvest of our mental activity is lost because we lack a system for retaining it or warehousing it. For many years, I have kept a dictation machine nearby, supplemented by pen and paper, to record what I see, hear, observe, think, and read. I record stories, phrases, metaphors, thoughts that need additional exploration, beautiful definitions, and well-turned phrases. I have been doing this for more than sixty years. I not only collect what I believe but what opposes my belief, for I think opposition is helpful to our thought processes. It is said that writers see more, I think perceive would be a better word, for perception comes in so many different ways. Not only does recording assure retention, but it correctly remembers. Practice gives us the ability to see and hear much more accurately. Former Senate chaplain Dick Halverson at the first of every year made fifty files for the Sundays he would preach. This meant he had someplace to file everything he ran across. He sorted once, not fifty times.

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Treating the Wealthy With Love The Book of James tells us not to treat the rich any differently than the poor, yet Ill guarantee you a known millionaire cant go to a church where he isnt courted. Such attitudes toward money can seriously erode a leaders integrity. Better to say to the rich person, I have a scriptural injunction not to be influenced by your wealth. I know that in all areas of life wealth is power. It receives respect. It is catered to, even in the church. But I know you want me to be a person of integrity, and if I am, then Ive got to treat you as just another member. Im interested in your soul much more than I am in your wealth. If you see me treating you differently than others, would you be kind enough to remind me of my responsibility to you? I must also say to this person, Now, my treating you the same as every other member does not decrease your responsibility to give according to your wealth. If I preach tithing, I have to preach tithing to you. Before I could say such a thing, however, I would need to earn my right to talk to him. I would want him to know Im interested in him as a person. Then I could say to him with integrity, If you ever went broke, you would be just as important in the church as you are today. Your wealth does not display or affect Gods love for you. The wealthy person needs this kind of honesty and love. The Value of I Dont Know Recently a wealthy young man came to me with some problems in an area beyond my expertise. After listening a bit, I said, I have no experience with what youre talking about. You have an opinion, dont you? he responded. I said, I would hope Im cons iderate enough not to give you an opinion in an area in which I have no knowledge. Id like my opinion to be worth something, and I have no opinion that is worth anything regarding your situation. He was disappointed, but I felt good about my response. I was afraid that if I gave him my opinion, because of his respect for me he would have taken it as advice. There are times I say to myself, in effect, I dont belong in this situation. I cant let someones disappointment or my ego throw me off course. Integrity demands I stay with the things I can do and do well. How many times have you asked directions from someone who didnt know but wouldnt admit he didnt know? His ego and ignorance sent you on a wild goose chase.

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PARTING COMMENTS Smith, F., Sr. (1998). The Pastor's Soul Volume 5: Leading With Integrity (127 168). Pub Place: Bethany House Books. In parting, may I remind you: Our lives are more than our ministry. Our ministry is an outward evidence of Christs redemption. Our call is to him, not just t o work for him. We read, study, and pray to maintain spiritual vitality, not only to serve but to be with integrity. I hope that what I have observed in my long life and recorded for your use will primarily build you internally, so that you can effectively use your skills increasingly for the Lords glory, that your calling may be sure and not deteriorate into a mere religious profession. As the sister of a young gang member said to him when he professed Christ, Be real, man, be real. APPENDIX FRED SMITHS QUOTES ON LIFE AND LEADERSHIP

Good leadership is not domination. It serves through mutual benefit. In every significant event there has been a bold leader, a shared vision, and, most often, an adversary. Historian Will Durant said in The Mansions of Phi losophy, The masses do not accomplish much. They follow the lead of exceptional men. A healthy society is one in which opportunities are given for leaders to emerge from all ranks of the society. True leaders have a uniqueness that must be recognized and utilized. No sluggard can succeed in leadership. There are passive persons who are content to go through life getting lifts from people, who wait until action is forced upon them. They are not leaders. Leaders stay in front by raising the standards by which they judge themselves and by which they are willing to be judged. A true leader loves excellence. The leader carries with him a sense of idealism and imparts to others a vision of what might be. A leader will take counsel from his people before he takes action but will act on what he sees as right. He has trained himself out of the fear of making mistakes.
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Leadership requires courage. Once a leader decides his part in life and his endowments and responsibilities, he then acts with courage to tackle the problems. There is responsibility in privilege. Leaders need to hold themselves to a stricter discipline than is expected of others. Those who are first in place must be first in merit. No one is qualified to lead until he has learned the art of obeying. Leaders are not capricious. They balance emotional drive and sound thinking. Possibilities stimulate their energy. Ultimately, it is the force of character that inspires others to follow with confidence. A rogue may get you to eat ice cream but not to take distasteful medicine. Authority may be delegated but not responsibility. Work done by others is the responsibility of the leader. A leader needs to know to whom he may delegate and to whom he must only assign. Leadership consists in getting people to work with, not for, you, particularly when they are under no obligation to do so. Whoever is under a leaders direction should be under his protection. Just trust me isnt enough for long-term, effective action. Lord Montgomery, as commander of the Eighth Army, made it a rule that the plan of a campaign should be made known to every soldier. Every element of the task should be simplified as much as possible. Remember, I repeat, Einstein said, Whatever God does, he does in its simplest form. Leaders need the hu mility of simplicity, a simplicity developed beyond complexity, not before it. A leader should see things whole as well as in parts. Often a leader must sacrifice his love of a specialty to the overall accomplishment of the vision. Every decision should be evaluated on risk to reward. Longtime winners play with the odds, not against them. An accomplishing leader originates and innovates. The maintenance leader protects status quo. An effective leader combines logic, experience, intuition, and advice. Self-advancement is not a proper goal for the spiritual leader. Never expect others to work as hard as the leader unless they are profiting in satisfaction the same way he is.
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An informed leader stays on the grapevine and off the rumor mill. Wisdom has an amazing ability to escape the human mind. Intelligent leaders profit from their mistakes by not repeating them. A leader should look for what is wrong, not to criticize it but to correct it. Worthwhile people are seeking to share a great purpose in life. Never complain about a lack of time until you are equaling or exceeding the greatest people of history. They all had the same amount of time. There are many psychological barriers in life. A leader learns to break these for individuals just as Roger Bannister broke the four-minute mile barrier. Others then are able to do what they never were able to do before. At any given time, there are those institutions that are succeeding and those that are failing in the same industry or ministry. The difference is leadership. When you plateau and start going around the same circle year after year, you are old, no matter what your age. Until you accept the bad as a fact, you cannot enjoy the good as a possibility. Those who want no fences are generally predators, not good neighbors. Those who yearn for wisdom generally find it. Those who wish for it, miss it. The Prodigal Son found that purchased friendship was fleeting. Time preserves heroes and dissolves celebrities. Choice is the essence of character, because it is the evidence. Dr. S. I. Hayakawa, the general semanticist, told me, Trust a mans actions more than his words. Gratitude is one of the most fragile emotions. The Scripture praises the sacrifice of thanksgiving. Until we are grateful for what we have, how can we deserve to have more? The greatest aid in life is the presence of the Spirit. When you have a guide, you dont need a map. Pray that God does not reveal your stupidity to you until you understand his grace. Humor can often open the most closed mind.
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We express our values by our choices. Generally, unction accomplishes much more than eloquence. Goebbels, Hitlers propaganda minister, understood the mass mind. He said, Say it simply and repeat it often. Failures must be recognized as soon as possible. It is better to bury a corpse than to perfume it. The proper use of words is to effect worthwhile accomplishment. Never institute a policy that you cannot enforce. It weakens leadership. Joy is a verification of a right relationship with God. Never capriciously criticize those in power. The best defense of the faith is a personification not an argument. Never be theologically naive enough to believe that right always wins. Sometimes the deepest, most serious truth comes dressed in humor. Poor timing is the worst misuse of humor. In our society, money is the only thing that is its own reason for being. That is not new. Ecclesiastes says, Money cures all things. It is a statement of what is, not what should be. It is good fortune when the passionate are also right. Humor is the great defrocker of pomposity. It is still funny to see a snowball hit a top hat. Humor can be a fine servant but an awesome tyrant. Never sacrifice a relationship for a laugh. A good test is, While the audience is laughing, are the angels weeping? Blue humor lets others see into your basement window. The surest way to burn out is to take on jobs that do not fit your gifts, interest, or motivation. Envy is the magnifying glass through which we look at the faults of others. Family members and close friends are able to evaluate character much more than talent. The ritual that becomes routine soon becomes a rut. Patience is a valuable element, and I find that I have so much more with myself than I do for others.
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I am not theologically educated, but I have found it a Smith, F., Sr. (1998). The Pastor's Soul Volume 5: Leading With Integrity (168 175). Pub Place: Bethany House Books.

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