THE ART OF COMMUNICATION: Communication plays an important role in our life.

From childhood onwards, as we come into contact with other people, our aim is to let them know what our thoughts, feelings and perceptions are. At the same time, we listen to them to find out theirs. As we grow older, and take up a job, this process becomes even more important. Plans must be carried out; job assignments must be completed, group goals must be achieved. For all this interpersonal behaviour, it is necessary for us to interact with people, and to share with them our thoughts, feelings and perceptions. This art of sharing with other people is called communication. So, if we are to be effective interpersonally, we should have effective communication, be effective in face-to-face communication. Avoid, or remove, the misunderstandings that arise in any communication situation. Our main objectives in this program are to learn the answers for these questions. 1. What do we mean by communication? 2. What is the role of body language in communication? 3. How should we listen to people importance of active listening. 4. How to convey our perceptions about actions/behaviour - feedback. What is communication? The sharing or exchange of information (i.e. thoughts, ideas, and opinions) between two or more persons with common understanding is called Communication. In the above definition, the most important features are: Sharing This is an integral part of communication. In fact, it is the foundation of communication. Some even go so far as to say that sharing itself is communication. Common Understanding Why is it important? Because words mean different things to different cultures. Suppose when we observe the following instances we can understand the deviations which would occur in our communication. The boss says to the secretary: This will be a very important meeting. Keep an accurate account of the minutes. After the meeting he asks her: Have you kept accurate minutes? Her reply: Yes sir. 53 minutes and 23 seconds. The boss tells the secretary: Take this paper and burn it. She shreds the paper, and burns the pieces. When she reports back to her boss, he says: Now give me the original back. So what is she going to give him? Who is at fault the boss or the secretary? How does communication start? When someone wants to say something. Let us call him the sender. This sender should have someone to listen to him. Let us call this second person the receiver. When the sender talks, and the receiver listens, communication has taken place. If we restrict ourselves to only this, then we have Oneway communication. How effective is one-way communication? Lets try an experiment. One Way Communication Materials Required: A geometrical figure on a sheet of paper, which should not be shown or be visible to the participants. Time required: About 10 minutes. Procedure: Give the following instructions to the participants. I shall be dictating a geometrical figure to you. I shall repeat each sentence twice. You cannot ask me any questions or clarifications; just draw the diagram as I dictate it. (Start and end dictation)

Now how many persons got that right? (Show them the original diagram) Debrief: Why has your drawing deviated from mine? But what do you think was the main problem? Is dictating the best way to reproduce a geometrical figure? What should I have done? Either hang it up, or project it on a screen. Now do you see the truth of the ancient Chinese proverb: One picture is worth a thousand words? We thus see that one-way communication does not elicit the best results. So what else is required? If the communication is to be meaningful, then the receiver must give a response. He must acknowledge that he has heard the message, and understood it. Lack of response can be a really frustrating thing. Suppose you are telling your friend about the latest book that you read, and he just keeps staring at you without any reactions whatsoever, then what are you to conclude? You are confused, and after a time become angry at being ignored. It is only when a response is given that the dialogue can continue. How many of you have heard the term feedback? What does it mean? Is it also a response, or does it mean anything more? Well, feedback is first of all an acknowledgement that the message has been received, and then it goes on to tell the sender how successfully he has transmitted his message, and what is the effect of his message either on the receiver or on anybody else. It is one step above a response. There can be good communication, and there can be effective communication. What is the difference? In good communication, the receiver understands the sender. In effective communication, the sender achieves the intended results from the receiver. Effective communication implies good communication, whereas vice versa need not be true. What is the ingredient that makes all the difference? It is nothing but Clarity. Not only the sender but also the listener should be clear. Let me give you an example. you may communicate well, but if you do not have clarity there will be a lot of problems, and your communication will not be effective. That is why you should be even more careful when talking over a phone. Barriers and Filters of Effective Communication: There are external and internal obstacles which hinder effective communication. The external obstacles are distractions which exist outside both the sender and receiver, and prevent effective communication. These are called as Barriers. For example, Noise, language, cross-talk, distance, mechanical failure, jargon, visual distraction etc. The internal obstacles are those which exist within the sender and the receiver. These prevent the undistorted flow of communication. In other words, they tend to distort communication, and hence they are called as Filters. These are the feelings that exist inside both parties, like shyness, superiority complex, disinterest, pre-conceived notions or opinions, rigid attitudes, anger, disappointment, sorrow etc. The normal speed at which a normal English speaker speaks English is 125 to 175 words per minute. The speed at which the mind processes is 400 to 500 words per minute!! This difference between the speed of speaking and the speed of understanding is called the word lag. To the listener, it appears as if there are spaces between each word even the normal speaker speaks. We tend to fill up this bandwidth by doing things other than

listening. If our distraction is momentary, we come back quickly, and dont lose anything. Murphys Laws of Communication say: 1. Communication usually fails except by chance. 2. If any message can be understood in many ways, it will usually be understood in the way that can cause the most harm. In fact, studies have shown that if seven messages are sent, only one gets through effectively! BODY LANGUAGE: As the ancient Chinese proverb says: The body never lies, and the body never keeps quiet. It is surprising fact that up to 93 % of communication is non-verbal. This includes tone of voice, eye movement, posture, hand gestures, facial expressions and more. The pressure of body language can especially be felt in emotional situations. Body language usually prevails over words. Head position is a great one to play around with, with yourself and others. When you want to feel confident and self-assured, keep your head level both horizontally and vertically. You can also use this straight head position when you want to be authoritative and what youre saying to be taken seriously. Conversely, when you want to be friendly and in the listening, receptive mode, tilt your head just a little to one side or other. You can shift the tilt from left to right at different points in the conversation. The eyes communicate more that any other part of the human anatomy. The ancient Chinese proverb says: The eyes are the windows, the mirrors of the soul. Staring or gazing at others can create pressure and tension in the room. Maintained eye contact can show if a person is trustworthy, sincere or caring. Shifty eyes, too much blinking can suggest deception. People with eye movements that are relaxed and comfortable, yet attentive to the person they are conversing with, are seen as more sincere and honest. Eyebrow muscles draw the eyebrows down and toward the center of the face if someone is annoyed. If someone is empathetic and caring during dialogue the eyebrows will not show the annoyed facial grimace. The nose doesnt move much, but when you wrinkle your nose, it means that you dont like something; it expresses disgust or distaste more than words can do. The smile. There are 50 or so different types of human smiles. By analyzing the movements of over 80 facial muscles involved in smiling, researchers can tell when a smile is true. Authentic smiles are smiles that crest or change rapidly from a small facial movement to a broad open expression. The smile is often reflected in the eyes if it is a heartfelt one. Mouth movements can give away all sorts of clues. We purse our lips and sometimes twist them to the side when were thinking. Another occasion we might use this movement is to hold back an angry comment we dont wish to reveal. Nevertheless, it will probably be spotted by other people and although they may not know the comment, they will get a feeling you were not too pleased.

Vocal cues can predict deception. More and lengthier pauses during conversation; a lot of such sounds as uh, um, word repetitions; intruding sounds not part of the actual speech, less lengthy answers or explanations where they would be expected to be. Ears play a vital role in communication with others, even though in general terms most people cant move them much, if at all. However, youve got two ears and only one mouth, so try to use them in that order. If you listen twice as much as you talk you come across as a good communicator who knows how to strike up a balanced conversation without being me, me, me or the wallflower. Posture is the next thing to master; get your posture right and youll automatically start feeling better, as it makes you feel good almost instantly. An erect posture shows that you are confident and alert and ready for anything. A drooping posture shows that you have admitted defeat. Angle of the body in relation to others gives an indication of our attitudes and feelings towards them. We angle toward people we find attractive, friendly and interesting and angle ourselves away from those we dont, its that simple! Bodily cues are the most reliable of all nonverbal signals of deception. This is because a person generally has less conscious control over these than other signals. Hand-toface gestures and shrugs are strong markers of deception. Playing with or touching things nearby during conversations has been found to be associated with deception. Deceivers also are likely to have increased, quick and animated use of hands/arms during speech. Gestures communicate. Hand signals can communicate without the use of any speech. Touching communicates. Touching can be friendly or it can be aggressive. The way a person stands reflects their level of confidence and comfort level. When you want to come across in the best possible light, crossing the arms is a no, no in front of others. Obviously if someone says something that gets your goat, then by all means show your disapproval by crossing them ! Palms slightly up and outward is seen as open and friendly. Palm down gestures are generally seen as dominant, emphasizing and possibly aggressive, especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the forearm. This palm up, palm down is very important when it comes to handshaking and where appropriate we suggest you always offer a handshake upright and vertical, which should convey equality. Legs are the farthest away from the brain, consequently theyre the hardest bits of our bodies to consciously control. They tend to move around a lot more than normal when we are nervous, stressed or being deceptive. So best to keep them as still as possible in most situations, especially at interviews or work meetings. Be careful, too, in the way you cross your legs. Do you cross at the knees, ankles or bring your leg up to rest on the knee of the other? This is more a question of comfort than anything else. Just be aware that the last position mentioned is known as the Figure Four and is generally perceived as the most defensive leg cross, especially if it happens as someone tells you something that might be of a slightly dubious nature, or moments after. (As always, look for a sequence) Space is important. Personal space is needed and if it is invaded intentionally and at times by oversight can cause an individual to feel uncomfortable or threatened. Studies

have shown that individuals that do not respect others space are less popular and often rejected by others. When you interact socially develop your listening and observations skills. The above are a guide for looking for the clues to deception, but they are not fool proof. In your Participant Manual is a ready-reckoner for body language. However, be careful not to consider each body language signal in isolation; they must be seen in clusters, and also in context. For example, if a person is scratching his head, it does not necessarily mean that he has not understood you; he may simply be having dandruff! NON-VERBAL BEHAVIOR INTERPRETATION Brisk, erect walk : Confidence Standing with hands on hips : Readiness, aggression Sitting with legs crossed, foot kicking slightly : Boredom Sitting, legs apart : Open, relaxed Arms crossed on chest : Defensiveness Walking with hands in pockets, shoulders hunched : Dejection Hand to cheek : Evaluation Thinking Touching, slightly rubbing nose : Rejection, doubt, lying Rubbing the eye : Doubt, disbelief Hands clasped behind back : Anger, frustration, apprehension Locked ankles : Apprehension Head resting in hand, eyes downcast : Boredom Rubbing hands : Anticipation Sitting with hands clasped behind head, legs crossed : Confidence, superiority Open palm : Sincerity, openness, innocence Pinching bridge of nose, eyes closed : Negative evaluation Tapping or drumming fingers : Impatience Steepling fingers : Authoritative Patting/fondling hair : Lack of self-confidence; insecurity Tilted head Interest Stroking chin : Trying to make a decision Looking down, face turned away : Disbelief Biting nails : Insecurity, nervousness Pulling or tugging at ear : Indecision

LISTENING:
A Zen riddle asks the question: Is there a sound in the forest if a tree crashes to the ground and there is no one to hear it? What is your answer to this riddle? The answer is that no, there is no sound. That is because there can be no sound till the act of hearing it is completed. In the same way, there is a common misconception that communication is about talking to people. So, by logic, more communication means more talking. The problem is that this doesnt work that way. Communication is not merely about talking to people. The people also have to listen.

So communication is not complete until the listener registers the message. For this, barriers have to be overcome, and filters should not block out the message. All this can be achieved only by a skill known as Active Listening. First of all, let us understand what is the difference between hearing and listening. (Ask for audience response. Give the example of the husband having his breakfast, and reading the paper at the same time while in a hurry to go to work, and the wife wants to tell him all the gossip. Is he hearing or listening, and how to find out?) What is the difference between listening and active listening? Listening refers to the process of hearing a person, with attention being paid to his words, tone, and body language. However, in this process, there will not be any interaction, especially if we are listening to the radio, TV etc. Active listening is listening carefully, with the added effort of trying to understand the speakers thoughts and feelings. And then, showing to him that you understand him. So, active listening means showing or telling the other person that you have understood his message or his feelings. While doing so, you do not give any advice, you do not analyze the speech, nor do you question the speaker. In short, you set aside your own thoughts, feelings, wishes and needs to start talking. Do not try to solve any problems. Just try to understand what the speaker wants to say, and show him that you understand him. By this process, you are telling the speaker that you value his words. Active listening is quite difficult. You must listen carefully to what the speaker says, and at the same time understand him correctly. This requires concentration and discipline. There are some skills which help you to be proficient in active listening. They are:1. Suspending Judgement: This skill consists of a) Keeping an open mind. You do not have any pre-conceived notions about the speaker or the subject, and filter out any likes or dislikes about the style, delivery etc. b) Concentrate on understanding the speaker. c) Hear his complete message without interrupting him. d) Make him aware that you have understood him. So, while suspending judgement, i. You do not agree or disagree with the speaker. ii. You do not ask him questions. iii. You do not give advice. iv. You do not start solving problems. v. You do not speak, but let the other person speak. While not doing so many things, should you just be staring at the speaker? No, you use the next skill of active listening. 2. Attending Skills: This consists of giving a response to the speaker, while he is speaking, by doing the following (a) By maintaining eye-contact. (b) By head nods. (c) By making suitable sounds. (d) By making verbal responses. 3. Clarification: This means doing two things I) Checking the meaning of words you do not understand. II) Checking with the speaker whether you have followed the subject correctly.

During technical discussions, this skill should be used extensively for both the words and the subject matter. 4. Summarization: After the speaker finishes speaking, you repeat back to him, in a very short manner, the main points of what he has said to you. Apart from the skills mentioned above, there is one more skill which is undoubtedly the most important skill of active listening. It is called 5. Paraphrasing: A person is speaking to you. While doing so, he pauses to find out your reaction. At that time, if you repeat back to him shortly, in your own words, what you have understood him to say, then you have paraphrased him. So, in paraphrasing, you capture, in a short statement, the essence of what he has said. In active listening, you paraphrase for two reasons 1. To check whether you have understood what the person has said. 2. To show him that you are trying to understand him. At the same time, he comes to know that you are paying attention to him. Paraphrasing has two positive uses: a) Even if you have paraphrased the other person wrongly, he will have the opportunity to correct you, and the misunderstanding will be removed. b) If someone asks you a difficult or unclear question, and you cannot answer at once, paraphrasing will give you time to think and answer. So how to paraphrase? Let us take an example. You are working in a factory for two years. Another person has joined the factory two months ago, and has become your friend. One day, as the two of you are having tea together, the other person says to you: My boss, Mr. Raghavan, is a real tyrant. I have to work daily from 6 am to 9 pm. I am not able to pay any attention to my children. I am sick and tired of working in this factory. Let us analyze each sentence. 1. My boss, Mr. Raghavan, is a real tyrant contains a Name, Criticism, and Hard Words. 2. I have to work from 6 am to 9 pm contains Facts. 3. I am not able to pay attention to my children contains Facts. 4. I am sick and tired of working in this factory contains Criticism, Hard Words, and Controversy. While paraphrasing, you avoid Names, Criticisms, Hard/harsh words, and Controversy. You only stick firmly to the facts. You avoid the emotional content of the statement. You start the paraphrase by using the words In other words, I understand that, It appears that etc, and repeat the facts shortly to the speaker. It appears that your working hours do not allow you to pay attention to your children, is that right? You will also observe that the above question is a close-ended question, i.e. the other person can only reply yes or no. FEEDBACK: A person, a group, or an organization may do something or behave in a particular manner. This action or behaviour may either have good effects or bad effects. Information to the concerned persons regarding the good or bad effects is called Feedback.

If the effects are good, the behaviour or action will be continued. If the effects are bad, then the behaviour or action will either be changed or even stopped. Feedback has three characteristics: 1. Feedback to any person is always given by any other person. That is to say, feedback is always given by an outside source. Self assessment is not feedback, since it is bound to be biased. If I conducted a test, and gave you your papers for correction, you are bound to get better marks. 2. Persons or organizations may act or behave in a particular way with the best of intentions, but the effects may be really bad. Feedback points out the gap existing between the intentions and the effects. Once this information is given, the concerned will make efforts to improve, grow, and develop. 3. No two persons see anything from the same angle. So feedback from a variety of persons produces a variety of perspectives, each giving a fresh idea. All these different streams of thought can be collated and discussed, and finally a correct and holistic decision taken. If you have the ability to give and receive feedback freely, then you will have the best personal and professional relationships. Why do we give feedback? Do we want to criticize the other person, or pull his leg, or be happy over his failure? No, we want to be very impartial and fair in correcting something which we perceive to be not quite right. So, objectivity is the key parameter for successful feedback. Unfortunately, though it is a very important skill, feedback is the least used or practiced skill, for obvious reasons. While giving feedback, the following three things should be kept in mind: 1. Make your intentions for giving feedback very clear. You are giving feedback only to remove any misunderstandings or grey areas in the communication, so as to make communication more effective. 2. Always use words that have common meaning to both of you, so that there is no gap in the understanding. 3. Check to see that what is received by the other person is exactly what you wanted him to receive. Negative feedback is normally given in the sandwich method. In the sandwich, you have a slice of bread on top, then the stuff in between, and then another slice of bread at the bottom. In the same way, when giving negative feedback, you first give good feedback, then the negative feedback, and then finally good feedback again. For example: You are all very intelligent people. But you have the bad habit of coming late from the breaks. However, I am sure that you will get over this habit soon. The tool we use for giving feedback is called the Feedback Response. It is a four-step model, and can be used for all situations, whether negative or positive feedback is to be given. The four steps are as follows: 1. Behaviour description In this step we tell the other person exactly what he said or did. 2. Feelings In this step we tell the other person what we felt because of his action or

behaviour. 3. Impact In this step we tell the other person what was, or would be, the effect of his action or behaviour. 4. Request In this step we request the other person for a change in his action or behaviour which would correct the situation. Let us take a practical example to illustrate this. Let us say that you belong to a team of five persons, and one of you is being sent abroad by your company. Each member of the team is hoping to be that person. Your boss quietly lets you know that you will go abroad, and tells you to keep it confidential till it is announced. Another friend of yours, Ashok, who is also close to the boss, comes to know this. He rushes to your cubicle to congratulate you. He stands at the cubicle door and says loudly: Congrats! I heard that you are going abroad! You silently motion to him to keep quiet, and take him out of the office to the coffee machine. There, you give him feedback as per the four-step model. Behaviour description: Ashok, when you said congrats loudly in the Office, Feelings : I really felt embarrassed, since my team-mates dont know about it yet. Impact : My friends will think that Im cheating them in some manner. Request : Could you please keep the matter a secret till it is announced by the boss? --------------The End of Art of Communication--------------------

THE HIDDEN DATA OF COMMUNICATION:

The Hidden Data of Communication is an important part of communication. In fact, it constitutes nearly 50% of communication. Obtaining this hidden data, and interpreting it correctly, will go a long way in making us effective interpersonally. This data hidden in communication is nothing other than FEELINGS. So, in this program, we shall be considering the following objectives: 1. The importance of feelings in communication. 2. How to deal with feelings. 3. The importance of developing assertive skills. 4. The development of self-confidence Researchers have found that more than any of intellectual abilities, we should have Emotional Intelligence, measured as EQ. It is not your IQ, it is not even a number. But emotional intelligence is the best predictor of success in life, redefining what it means to be smart. In the corporate world, IQ gets you hired, but it is EQ that gets you promoted. It is why some people remain buoyant in the face of troubles that would sink others. Deficient emotional skills may be the reason why more than half of all marriages end in divorce. EQ is not the opposite of IQ. Some people are blessed with a lot of both, some with little of either. What is important is how they complement each other. For success, researchers generally agree, IQ counts for about 20%. The rest depends on luck, social class, and EQ. To have feelings is natural for us, and to display them is also equally

natural. Sometimes, however, a show of raw emotions can cause problems in the workplace. So what do we do about feelings? In America they have a slang proverb: If you cant lick them, join them. If you cannot defeat someone, better join him to form a still stronger team. So also with feelings. We have to become aware of them, and deal with them.

DEALING WITH FEELINGS

There are some steps in dealing with feelings. They are: 1. Awareness and labeling: Let us say that you are having an important meeting with a colleague. Normally, he should have switched off his cell-phone, but he is also expecting an important overseas call. So he answers every call, and the tempo of the meeting is lost every time he gets a call. After some time, you are aware that you are irritated. How irritated are you? If this has been occurring for an hour, you are annoyed; if for more than 3 hours, you are angry; if for the whole day, you are furious. So you have become aware of a feeling, and you have labeled it depending on its intensity. Now you can go to the next step. 2. Taking action: This you can do in a number of ways. You might tell him politely that his cell-phone is a source of disturbance. You may suggest taking a break till he gets his call. You may ask him to send an e-mail or SMS to the caller asking what time he should expect the call. Or you may ignore the interruptions, and find a way to keep up the continuity of the meeting. 3. Reporting your feelings: Here you tell the other person what your feelings are because of these interruptions. You use I statements, and also use very soft or neutral words like upset, annoyed etc, instead of angry, mad, sorry etc. You also try to make it in the form of a close-ended statement or question. So the reporting in the above case would be: I am upset by these interruptions. Can we first decide what to do about them, and then get on with the meeting? In such circumstances, it would not help to speak unfeelingly to your colleague, using harsh and explosive words. That would create one of two situations; either he would become defensive, and withdraw effectively from the meeting, or he could become aggressive, in which case the atmosphere would become vitiated. 4. Feel it now, deal with it later: In some sensitive situations, it may not be possible to either take action or report your feelings. In such situations, become aware of the feelings now, and deal with them later, when the atmosphere and the circumstances are more conducive to a balanced transaction. Sometimes, doing nothing is the best way to do something. But, you may say, why should we go through all this trouble of reporting, taking action etc? Why should we not just ignore feelings so that they go away? The problem is that if we do not consciously deal with our feelings, they will no doubt go away temporarily, but they will come back to haunt us in 3 different ways: 1. The feelings build up inside us, causing stress, which would lead further to psychosomatic diseases. 2. Worse still, these stresses could turn into resentment, and build up to such levels that they come bursting out when we least expect it and dont want it to. 3. We may unknowingly express the ignored feelings in the form of sarcastic statements, negative body language, or even indirect statements. So you see why dealing with our feelings is so essential.

SKILLS FOR DEALING WITH COMPLEX FEELINGS

Description of Feelings This is nothing other than the reporting of feelings. You are disclosing a feeling that is inside you to another person. You should do this only when it is required, and when it will contribute some value to the communication. Normally, you use this skill only with someone you know well, and in situations where you can predict the reaction of the other person. In case someone commits a mistake, a typical unfeeling person will blame him using the word You and will also use hard words. But with description of feelings, you shift to I and We, and to words that are soft or neutral, thereby indirectly appearing to shift some of the blame on to yourself. Thus, this skill is a powerful trust-builder in relationships. Reflection of feelings Sometimes we are not sure of what the other person is trying to say. Sometimes we get mixed messages from him because his message is not congruent. Sometimes, feelings run so high that we first have to tackle that problem before addressing the problem we should. All this occurs because persons are very indirect in expressing their feelings. In such circumstances, we have to guess what the other person is feeling. But our guess is merely a guess; it may be either right or wrong. We must check out our guess, our understanding, and this is called the reflection of feelings. We are trying to understand what the other person is feeling. Suppose the other person is angry or sad. The typical reflection of feelings would be: I can understand that you might be feeling annoyed/upset about this. What do we see about the above statement. First, it is a guess (might). Second, it is a close-ended statement; the other person can only give a yes-no answer, and not question back. Third, the statement is empathic; you are telling him that in his shoes you would have also felt such an emotion. Lastly, you are validating his emotion; you are saying that in such a situation it is ok for him to have such a feeling. You are also using soft/neutral words. Suppose you say: You dont have to be so angry/sad. This is not reflection because you are violating all the rules stated above.

Suppose you say: I understand just how you feel. Again, this is not reflection, since you are showing sympathy, not empathy. Sympathy assumes that you are at a higher plane and the other person is at a lower level. You are also leaving room for a return question, which may not be polite. You should never say: You should be really angry about this. If the other person wasnt angry before, he will now reconsider what his feelings should be! Perception Checking Suppose some person says something or does something that appears strange to you. You do not know what were his intentions, or his motives, or why he reacted in this manner. When you try to find out what his intentions, motives or reactions were, then you are doing a perception check. It is a step higher than reflection, which deals only with feelings. But your perception check should be gentle and very polite. You should not cause offence, and the other person should not feel that you are cornering him or trapping him. Let us take an example.

Six of you are doing a presentation. It does not matter who speaks when. To avoid confusion, the Project Leader has fixed an order of speaking. You are to speak third. Suddenly, after the second person finishes speaking, the sixth person starts speaking. He finishes his talk, and goes away from the room. You are surprised at his reaction. Why did he behave this way? What were his motives, his intentions? At that moment you are angry, and you feel that he wanted to draw attention to himself, and appear important. Later, when you meet him, you want to check your perception. So you ask him: All of us were surprised when you spoke third. What happened? He says: I had some very urgent work in the lab to attend to. So I spoke earlier and left the meeting. Did it cause a problem? Now, because he has explained the matter, your working relationship with him will continue to be good. But see the paradox. Your perception check was wrong, but it yielded positive results: 1. Even though your perception was not correct, the other person had the chance to correct it, and remove any misunderstanding. 2. The other person was not aware till now that he had done anything wrong. Your openness in checking has made him aware of his mistake. So, in future, he will be very careful. 3. The perception check clears up misunderstandings and wrong assumptions. Behaviour Description It is a very powerful tool. It describes exactly what was said or what was done by the other person during any interaction. Since it is the total truth, the other person cannot deny it, and has to agree with and explain his behaviour. For example, You are giving a presentation. You see one of the participants close his eyes, and lean back in his chair for a few minutes. You think that perhaps he is tired. How do you do behaviour description, and a perception check? Behaviour Description : During my presentation, I noticed that you closed your eyes and leaned back in your chair for several minutes. Perception Check: I thought you might have been tired. Were you?

ASSERTIVENESS AND EXERCISE

Many college students find it difficult to express their feelings honestly and openly because they lack assertiveness. This can become a problem when building a relationship, going out in the career world or communicating with friends, family members, and co-workers. What is assertiveness? What is the difference between being assertive and being aggressive? Will people think that Im being pushy? These are common questions and concerns. Here are some pointers to help clarify what assertiveness is really all about. Assertiveness is the ability to express our thoughts, feelings, opinions, beliefs, and needs directly, openly, honestly, and appropriately, while not violating the personal rights of others. It means that we have respect both for ourselves and for others. We are consciously working toward a win-win solution to problems. A win-win solution means that we are trying to make sure that both parties end up with their needs met to the degree possible. An assertive person effectively influences, listens, and negotiates so that others choose to cooperate willingly. Many students seem to confuse assertive behavior with aggression. Assertiveness is very different from aggressiveness. Aggression is self-enhancing behavior at the expense of others. Aggressiveness involves expressing our thoughts, feelings, and

beliefs in a way that is inappropriate and violates the rights of others. Aggressiveness can be either active or passive, but no matter which, it communicates an impression of disrespect. By being aggressive, we put our wants, needs, and rights above those of others. Your classmates, friends and associates feelings are ignored, violated and not taken into consideration when interacting with them. Furthermore, as a result of aggressive behavior, they feel hurt, humiliated, angry, and revengeful. We attempt to get our way by not allowing others a choice. Where assertiveness tried to find a win-win solution, aggressiveness strives for a win-lose solution: Ill be the winner; youll be the loser.

DEVELOPING ASSERTIVENESS
How to Develop Assertive Skills 1. Be responsible for your own behaviour Be direct, honest, and open about your feelings, opinions and needs. State reasonable requests directly and firmly. State your goals or intentions in a direct and honest manner. State your point of view without being hesitant or apologetic. Being responsible for your own behavior will let you feel good about yourself. 2. Avoid being influenced Do not let your friends, classmates etc impose or reinforce their behaviors, values and ideas on you. Instead, let them know what you think, feel and want. 3. Be honest regarding compliments Be honest when giving and receiving compliments. Never put down a compliment and dont feel you must return one. 4. Learn to say NO. Learn to say no to unreasonable requests. Use the word no and offer an explanation if you choose to. Do not apologize and do not make up excuses. Paraphrase the other persons point of view. This will let him/her know that you hear and understand the request. Avoid why questions. Why questions allows the listener to be defensive. 5. Use I and We statements Recognize and respect the rights of your friends, classmates, roommates etc. For example if you are upset with them use I and we statements to express your feelings, instead of blaming and finger pointing you statements. The words I and we should be used in statements to convey your feelings. An I message is a good way to let people know what you are thinking. It is made up of three parts. what is it, exactly, that the other person has done or is doing what is happening because of their behavior what effect does their behavior have on your feelings? By using this kind of message, you are giving another person complete information, leaving no room for second guessing or doubt. This is much more productive and assertive than simply ignoring the problem or just expressing your anger or frustration. Be assertive, not aggressive. By using I statements express thoughts, feelings, and opinions reflecting ownership. 6. Use appropriate body language In order to convey a positive attitude: Use suitable facial expressions, always maintaining good eye contact.

Keep your voice firm but pleasant. Pay careful attention to your posture and gestures. Listen...and let people know you have heard what they said. Ask questions for clarification. Look for a win-win approach to problem solving. 7. Choose assertive words carefully Use factual descriptions instead of judgments. A person may have committed a mistake in some part of his work. That is no reason for you to criticize his entire work as full of mistakes. Be objective in your assertiveness. 8. Avoid exaggerations A person may be doing something wrong over a period of time. When being assertive regarding that portion of his behaviour, avoid exaggerating your remarks so that it appears as if the person has being doing this for his whole life-time. Deeper enquiry may show genuine problems. 9. Ask for feedback While being assertive, we are trying for a win-win situation. So it is important for you to know how you are coming across. Does the other person see you as caring or uncaring? It is always better to get feedback from good friends regarding your style, and modify it accordingly. For example: Sharan is a very good team-person, and does all the work well. But he has one fault which drives all the other members of the team crazy; he is never on time for any meeting. When he comes late, not only does the speaker lose the thread of his talk, but he also has to go through all the steps again for Sharans benefit. Nobody has the heart to tell Sharan about his bad habit. But you decide that it is time to be assertive. The very next day, he comes late to one of your meetings, and says: Sorry, was held up by other work. What do you tell him? Angry Response : Why do you always come late for meetings? Cant you be punctual even once? Assertive Response : When you come late to a meeting, I am annoyed because I have to repeat the information the rest of us have heard. Some techniques to be Assertive: Be aware of techniques other people may use to disregard or avoid your requests. Either intentionally or not, people may deny your rights by: Changing the subject. Responding with a strong display of emotion (including anger). Joking or making fun of your request. Trying to make you feel guilty about your request. Criticizing or questioning the legitimacy of your request. Asking you why you want what you asked for. Practice using the Broken Record Technique when meeting with resistance or indifference. The broken record technique consists of stating repeatedly what you want in a calm, direct manner with the persistence of a broken record. Fogging is another technique to use with someone who is being critical of you. It involves agreeing in part with the criticism. You honestly agree with some part of the criticism even when you dont believe all of it. A technique to use when the other person becomes angry or hostile is defusing. Its a bit like defusing a bomb. Defusing is a delaying tactic best used when someone responds to your assertive request with intense anger or any other extreme display of emotion.

SELF-CONFIDENCE:
Along with awareness, self-confidence is also a factor which plays a very great part in the emotional make-up of a person, and which allows him to move in the corporate world with a sense of realism and positive control. It is difficult to categorize selfconfidence into a single sentence definition; it is made up of many discrete components. Debrief: 1. Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of themselves and their situations. 2. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, have a general sense of control in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they wish, plan, and expect. 3. People who are not self-confident depend excessively on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. Were heavily influenced by our society which values flawless performance and places great emphasis on winning and performing perfectly. We often lose sight of the fact that we can value ourselves in spite of making mistakes. Its probably good to get back to the feeling we had as children. As children, we had self confidence without even questioning it. We were valued for just being people, for just being in this world. As adults we lose sight of the basic fact that we are usually all right just as we are, in spite of the fact that we are not perfect. 4. They tend to avoid taking risks because they fear failure. They generally do not expect to be successful. They often put themselves down and tend to discount or ignore compliments paid to them. 5. By contrast, self-confident people are willing to risk the disapproval of others because they generally trust their own abilities. They tend to accept themselves; they dont feel they have to conform in order to be accepted. 6. Having self-confidence does not mean that individuals will be able to do everything. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves. 7. Self-confidence is not necessarily a general characteristic which pervades all aspects of a persons life. Typically, individuals will have some areas of their lives where they feel quite confident, e.g.,academics, athletics, while at the same time they do not feel at all confident in other areas, e.g., personal appearance, social relationships. 8. Surprisingly, lack of self-confidence is not necessarily related to lack of ability. Instead it is often the result of focusing too much on the unrealistic expectations or standards of others, especially parents and society. 9. Friends influences can be as powerful or more powerful than those of parents and society in shaping feelings about ones self. Students in their college years reexamine values and develop their own identities and thus are particularly vulnerable to the influence of friends. As time passes, this influence becomes a crutch, and crutches are used by those who cant trust their own legs. 10. This is very important to watch out for. When our success or our good feelings are dependent upon others approval of us, we are placing all of our value in someone elses hands. This means our self confidence is totally dependent on how other people feel or act toward us. This is a perfectionist, unattainable goal. Being aware of what a vulnerable thing it is to put our whole self worth into someone elses hand, might help to avoid this pitfall. It is more realistic and desirable to develop personal standards and values that are not completely dependent on the approval of others.

11. This again is a perfectionist, unattainable goal and suggests that personal worth is determined by achievement. Achievement can be satisfying but does not make you more worthy. Instead, worth is an inherent quality and all people possess it. 12. While it is true that your confidence was especially vulnerable to external influences during your childhood, as you grow older you can gain awareness and perspective on what those influences have been. In doing so, you can choose which influences you will continue to allow to have an effect on your life. You dont have to be helpless in the face of past events. 13. All Or Nothing Thinking. This is a self-defeating thought pattern, and must be avoided at all costs. 14. Seeing Only Dark Clouds. Disaster lurks around every corner and comes to be expected. For example, a single negative detail, piece of criticism, or passing comment darkens all reality. I got a C in one chemistry test, now Ill never get into medical school. 15. Magnification Of Negative/Minimization Of Positive. Good things dont count nearly as much as bad ones. I know I won five chess games in a row, but losing this one makes me feel terrible about myself. 16. Uncritical Acceptance Of Emotions As Truth. I feel ugly so it must be true. 17. Overemphasis On Should Statements. Should statements are often perfectionist and reflective of others expectations rather than expressive of your own wants and desires. Everyone should have a career plan when they come to college. I dont so there must be something wrong with me. 18. Labeling. Labeling is a simplistic process and often conveys a sense of blame. I am a loser and its my fault. 19. Difficulty Accepting Compliments. Do you like this dress? I think it makes me look fat. 20. Another interesting thing is that it is easy to forget that there are things that we do well. Continued frustration or attempting things that we have difficulty with can lead to feelings of clumsiness and inadequacy. It doesnt take long when we experience these feelings to find our self confidence seems to have decreased. We have got some new insights into the areas of self-confidence with the help of the above surveyed facts.

STRATEGIES FOR DEVELOPING CONFIDENCE

Emphasize Strengths Give yourself credit for everything you try. By focusing on what you can do, you applaud yourself for efforts rather than emphasizing end products. One thing we might do is to make a list of the things that we do well and to do one of these things on the list everyday. It has been shown that although this method of increasing our self confidence sounds simple, it is often very effective. Another thing that often helps people who are feeling low, is making a list of the things that they do like about themselves. By making a list like this we can sometimes rediscover those very likable qualities about ourselves that we often take for granted. Yet another thing we can do when we are feeling low is to take some time to do something nice for ourselves, something we find enjoyment in. We can take the time to treat ourselves with fondness and kindness, as we would a dear and valued friend. Take Risks

Approach new experiences as opportunities to learn rather than occasions to win or lose. Doing so opens you up to new possibilities and can increase your sense of self-acceptance. Not doing so turns every possibility into an opportunity for failure, and inhibits personal growth. Finally, another way to rebuild our self confidence is to try doing and risking things that weve never tried before. Its always a little bit of a challenge in doing new things and just the act of accepting these challenges, some little and some big, whether we are successful or not, often increases our self confidence. Use Self-Talk : Use self-talk as an opportunity to counter harmful assumptions. Then, tell yourself to stop and substitute more reasonable assumptions. For example, when you catch yourself expecting perfection, remind yourself that you cant do everything perfectly, that its only possible to try to do things and to try to do them well. This allows you to accept yourself while still striving to improve. Self-Evaluate : Learn to evaluate yourself independently. Doing so allows you to avoid the constant sense of turmoil that comes from relying exclusively on the opinions of others. Focusing internally on how you feel about your own behavior, work, etc. will give you a stronger sense of self and will prevent you from giving your personal power away to others. What about people who have already tried these things that were mentioned and who still have questions or concerns about their self confidence? Temporary fluctuations in our feelings of self confidence are fairly common, they happen to most of us. However, if our self confidence is low for a prolonged period of time or our mood shifts quite often, it might be very important to seek professional help. One thing that might be happening is that we never really developed a good, solid concept of ourselves as we were growing up and so as result, we dont have a firm, positive concept of ourselves to build on. A mental health professional can be very helpful in our establishing a positive self image. -------------------The End of Hidden Data Communication-----------------------------------------------

IN THE WORLD OF TEAMS:

What is the first pre-requisite of forming a team? Getting to know each other! Lets see how well you know each other. We come to know how similar or how different the other person is from us. The whole craft of working in teams is to find out how different the other person is, and how to adjust to him. So working in teams consists of knowing each other, understanding similarities and differences, and how to respect and adjust to these differences. In this program we shall consider the following: Understand what a Team is. Appreciate what the Elements of Teamwork are. Understand the Stages by which a Group becomes a Team. Appreciate the Basic Characteristics of an Effective Team. Understand and appreciate the Building Blocks of Effective Teams.

THE TEAM CONCEPT

Let us now understand what we mean by a Team. Which is the most famous team in India now? Thats rightthe cricket team. Lets take that as the model for finding out what a team is. When we think of the Indian cricket team, how many players do we think of? Eleven, maybe 12 or more depending on whether you count the twelfth man, scorekeeper etc, right? So what comes immediately to mind? A GROUP. That is the first component. Then let us consider the opener Sehwag, and the middle order Dravid. By logic, can we say that Sehwag is a batsman, Dravid is a batsman, so Sehwag is equal to Dravid? And so also for the bowlers? Why they wont become equal? Some of you angrily protest this statement of course. Why not? Because their styles are different. In other words, each of them is an INDIVIDUAL. That is the second component. (Write on the board) What does this group of individuals do? They play cricket for India. They are lucky that their play is also their work, but as a whole, they are WORKING TOGETHER for India. That is the third component. (Write on the board) Lastly, why do they work together? To win trophies for India. That is what the team strives for. That is their COMMON GOAL. That is the last component. (Write on the board) So we define a team as A group of individuals working together to achieve a common goal. The four components are the cornerstones of the group edifice. Okay, so now we know what is a team. So what? Why is the concept of a team important for us? Why should we work in teams? It is evident that working in an Excellent Team leads to Co-operation, Co-ordination, Collaboration, Complementation, and Concentration. This team is very close to you. In fact, it is you. The speed at which the technology is changing is so rapid that it is difficult for any person to keep up-to-date even in his specialization. How then can he expect to be a master of everything? So a person specializes in one area, and in a team he concentrates on that specialization, and allows others to concentrate on their areas. Third, in India, we are hooked on the need for affiliation. We belong to what is called the high-context culture, which means that we can relate to groups, we can work in groups, and are very comfortable doing so. This is our biggest strength. So, our concept of teamwork is reflected by the old English proverb: Two, or more, heads are better than one!
Element of Teamwork: The following are basic elements of a Team: SHARING INFORMATION. LISTENING AND RESPONDING. GIVING OTHERS BENEFIT OF DOUBT. PROVIDING SUPPORT. RECOGNIZING AND RESPECTING OTHERS INTERESTS AND ACHIEVEMENTS. 1. Sharing information- this is the most important. If you do not share information, there will always be gaps in the answer. 2. Listening and responding Actively listening to other members, trying out their suggestions. 3. Giving others the benefit of doubt Not discarding any idea, but considering each one on merits.

4. Providing support- If anyone was near the answer, you pointed out the shortcoming and helped him complete it. 5. Recognizing and respecting the interests and achievements of others you understood that each one had a different talent, and took the best that he had to offer. Teamwork, therefore, is a set of interactions that incorporates the above components. But are there only advantages in working in teams? A few disadvantages may occur when you work in a team. They are: 1. Ego clashes 2. Conflicts 3. Disagreements 4. Stalemates 5. Politics 6. Non-cooperation 7. Lazy members, etc) And apart from this, some other generally observed disadvantages are: Since every member of the team is different, it is not possible to say what the total response of the team will be. Since every member of the team responds at his own speed, the total speed of response is normally found to be slow. When any critical task has been given to the team, it tends to become more inflexible, as every team member becomes more rigid in his thinking pattern. Every member of the team has to change his way of thinking, and approaching others. Thus, his personality may be stunted, and his creativity not of the best quality. But these disadvantages are very limited compared to the large number of advantages we have with teams and teamwork.

STAGES OF TEAM FORMATION

Groups are formed and developed through several stages. They do not form overnight. No team starts out as a fully formed team. It does not even start out as a group. It is very interesting to find out what stages are gone through before a team, and a high performing team, is formed. Researchers Tuckman and Jensen identified five stages of development that all groups go through before performing as a fully mature and effective team. These five stages have been accepted and adopted by other researchers also. The five stages of team formation are: 1. FORMING: In this stage, the group is not even a group, it is simply a collection of individuals. There is a great deal of uncertainty about the groups purpose, structure and leadership. Individuals meet each other, and try to know whether they will fit into the group. Information is exchanged regarding their specializations, thus getting some idea regarding individual strengths. Some agreement and consensus is developed. The stage is complete when interpersonal relationships are established and when members have begun to think of themselves as part of a group. 2. STORMING: The consensus developed in the first stage is suddenly very rudely shattered, and there is a period of intense conflict. The conflict arises because of interpersonal behaviour and hostility. Additionally there is resistance to group influence and task requirements. Occasionally, groups split. There is dissatisfaction and competition. Everything is questioned- the purpose, leadership, roles, objectives, rules. The members become aware of their differences. But even in this stormy atmosphere, 2 positive things emerge. First, there is the formulation of more

realistic norms and objectives; second, there is a slow formation of trust. This is a critical period for the more timid members, who may want to back out of the team. 3. NORMING: A single leader emerges and this results in group cohesion. With this, the structure of the team becomes more rigid. Members show their commitment, which leads to more harmony in the group. The group has established how it will work, within what limits, and do what. There is now a strong sense of group identity and camaraderie. New group standards and roles are formed for members. Members are now clear about what their roles and responsibilities are, and try to work together. 4. PERFORMING: The performing stage is marked by teamwork, role clarity and task accomplishment. Group energy has moved from getting to know and understand each other to the job of performance. The team is now focused on achieving the common goal. All the norms, behaviours, orientation etc, are totally understood and accepted. . Members know how to work with each other. There are disagreements and misunderstandings, but they are handled and solved effectively. The performing stage is reached only after the previous 3 stages have been successfully completed. The time for completion of the first three stages depends on how well the members know each other. When members from the same department or unit come together, or when the task is clearly defined, and the objective is seen as highly important, the first 3 stages are dealt with in hours, and sometimes even in minutes, during the first meeting of the group. But where a Project Manager draws his team members from different parts of the organization, and the members are strangers to each other, he needs to plan for and factor in the time required for group development. 5. ADJOURNING: The group has completed its assigned task and prepares for its disbandment. Attention is directed to wrap-up activities. Some of the members are upbeat, because they now have chances for other new experiences. Some of the members are depressed, since they have developed good friends, and have worked with good harmony. Finally, all the work comes to an end, and the members of the team disperse. By knowing these stages, we can understand the team performance at the different stages, and this helps us to cope with and adapt ourselves during the different stages in order to be more effective. More than that, if we know these stages, then we can reach out to other members of the group, inform them of the nuances, and help them settle into the culture of the team.

WHAT IS AN EFFECTIVE TEAM?

Creating teams is not an easy task. Forming a team requires the right combination of skilled people and individuals who are willing to work together with others as a team. When we look at any effective team, and compare it with other effective teams, we find that there are some characteristics that are common to all these teams. These characteristics can be summarized as follows: Size and Specialization: Normally, an effective team has a membership not exceeding 8 to 10 persons, so that it does not become unwieldy. The members of the team should be specialized in different areas, and should have at least one of these skills technical, problem-solving, decision-making, and interpersonal skills. This is a must because they must carry out diverse tasks. Thus, the selection of a team is an extremely important task.

Common Goals and Objectives: Let us have a small game to demonstrate this characteristic. But what sort of goals should we set? It is denoted by the acronym SMART. S stands for Specific. It means hard numbers. A car manufacturer sets a specific goal if he says he can produce 300 cars a week. M stands for Manageable. That means that for that specific task, he should have the infrastructure, the manpower, and the finances. A stands for Achievable. There is always some amount of leeway in what can be produced more than the target, but you cannot stretch it to whatever limits you want. R stands for Realistic. The goal must always cater to the bottom line of any industry, i.e. the profit. It cannot be an abstract goal. T stands for Time bound. In a good company, deadlines, together with quality and specifications, are of paramount importance, and must in all cases be met. Leader: This is sometimes a controversial area. All the members of the team are extremely intelligent persons, so why make one of them a leader? Is it because he is more intelligent than any of them? Not so. The leaders role is just another role in the team. He is the binder. He is the motivator for the introverts in the team. In cases of conflict, he is the arbiter. He is the bridge between the management and the team, carrying instructions and complaints from one to the other, and providing the direction as required. He is the first line of defense in any team. Proper leadership and structure provide focus and direction to the team. Roles and Responsibilities: After taking care of the proper team mix, we must see that each member of the team is very clear about what will be his role and responsibilities. By this, specialization will be protected. Non-identification of clear roles and responsibilities will lead to duplication and grey areas and confusion. Members should not hide inside the team and indulge in social loafing. Communications: This is one of the most important characteristics. If the common goal is compared to a big jigsaw puzzle, then each member of the team has different pieces of the jigsaw puzzle with him. By communicating properly, all the pieces can be joined together to form a whole. If not, then the common goal cannot be achieved. If communications break down, then there is mistrust, low morale, and duplication of efforts. So effective communications is a must, through talking, phones, e-mails, letters, meetings etc. Trust: In an effective team, every member has complete trust in the other member. The teams success is assured only if each member of the team succeeds, and this success is attained only through trust. Trust also means that respect is being shown. This is also one of the most important factors in an effective team. After lunch, we shall have an activity to reinforce the basic characteristics of an effective team.

ESSENTIAL BUILDING BLOCKS OF EFFECTIVE TEAMS

We have seen from the previous part of the session than communication and trust are considered to be the most important characteristics of an effective team. They are said to be the most essential building blocks of effective teams. There is no doubt that communication is an essential part of the team. As we said earlier, without communication there will be duplication, mistrust, and confusion. Another important factor is trust between the team members otherwise team will collapse.

The reason for the misunderstanding is that we may be individuals, but that does not prevent us from respecting the abilities, the strengths and the contributions of the other persons, however different they may be from us. When we respect the other person, we get respect from him. This mutual respect gives rise to trust. When we trust the other person, we do not see his differences as a threat, but as a positive and constructive force. We do not view his difference as a challenge, but as a welcome change. The first skill which requires building up trust is that of Active Listening. What are you doing when you are actively listening to another person? You are paying him your full attention. So you are respecting what he says. This respect on your part makes him respect you in turn. This builds up trust for each other. The second skill is that of Feedback. If feedback is given effectively in the sandwich and 4-stage models, and if the changed action or behaviour is requested for properly, and the solution is worked out jointly, then there is excellent sharing and growth, and the team will be healthy and robust.

TEAM PLAYER STYLES

A person cannot be perfect, but a team can be, in the sense that a team might comprise personal attributes that no single person could ever contain. Personal attributes of several people making up a team might either complement each other, or have a synergetic effect. It seems, then, that the talents of the solitary thinker, who can wield great ideas, teamed up with the talents of the enthusiastic visionary who can turn ideas into reality, is a successful combination. These talents and personal characteristics are not common within a single individual, but can, of course, occur in a team of individuals. For our purposes, a team is any number (greater than one) of individuals who share an expressed interest in working together in order to achieve a goal. A team, then, consists of individuals, and as individuals they have a number of properties or attributes which determine their efficacy as members of the team. Clearly, working in teams brings out the best in some people, if a suitable partner or set of partners can be found. Is it possible, though , to know or to predict with some nontrivial degree of accuracy just how beneficial a team is? Dr. Meredith Belbin, of the Industrial Training Research Unit at Cambridge has developed an understanding of how teams work, and how to make them work better. Belbins perception is that all members of a management team have a dual role. The first role, the functional one, is obvious: a manager belongs to the team because he is an accountant or production engineer or regional service manager or group marketing executive, or whatever. The second role, the team role, is much less obvious. Through extensive research at Henley Management College Belbin isolated and identified eight key roles as the ones available to team members. Over the years of his research, first at Henley and subsequently within the real business world extending from Britain to Australia, Dr. Belbin and his colleagues learned to recognize individuals who made a crucial difference to teams and to whose team types he gave descriptive names. The reason for these names is not always obvious, and the names themselves are sometimes a little misleading. When using them it is the descriptions, not their labels, which are important. Here are the Belbin team types: 1. Creators 2. Planner

3. Resource Investigator 4. Leaders 5. Co-ordinator 6. Shaper 7. Implementers 8. Team Worker 9. Team Implementer 10. Completers 11. Monitor Evaluator 12. Completer Finisher According to the researcher Rolf the styles come under one or the other of the five main personality dimensions. Based on his system, eight styles emerge which are a mixture of the personality dimensions, their personalities are composed of various traits, all of which come under one or other of 5 major personality dimensions. For easy memory, we can call them as the 5 Es, and what they comprise of are mentioned below: 1. EXTROVERT: Aggressive, assertive, daring, flamboyant, frank, open, fun-loving. 2. EMPATHIC: Accommodating, acquiescent, compassionate, cordial, kind, mild, gentle, sincere. 3. EFFICIENT: Careful, exacting, fastidious, fussy, tidy, hardworking, meticulous, neat, orderly. 4. ELITE: Un-envious, calm. 5. ELDRITCH: Artistic, complex, creative, imaginative, philosophical. Based on the above, there are 8 team styles emerged with the following traits possessed by each one of the styles: The Builder : adaptable, caring , avoids conflict , observant , co-operative , diplomatic , over-sensitive , indecisive during crisis, full of team spirit. The Visualizer : broad in outlook, calm & confident, conscious of priorities, consultative, empire-building, laid-back, encouraging of others, manipulative, less creative, more practical. The Analyst : analytic, impartial, logical, realistic, shrewd, critical , skeptical, slowmoving, cannot motivate others. The Controller : accurate , conscientious , frightened of failure , good at following through, perfectionist , reluctant to delegate , persistent , fussy. The Organizer : disciplined , effective , loyal , practical , resistant to change , well organized , inflexible , un-adventurous. The Guide : challenging , competitive , hard-driving , outspoken , provocative , tough , aggressive , impatient, paranoid. The Networker : easily bored, enterprising , inquisitive, opportunistic , persuasive , outgoing ,erratic , impulsive. The Innovator : Creative, forgetful, imaginative, innovative, knowledgeable, original, unorthodox, up-in-the-clouds, intellectual, disregards practical details or protocol. ---------------------The End of World of Teams---------------------------------------------

ADAPTING TO CORPORATE LIFE

Values and beliefs, those are important to every one of us. These values affect the choices that you make. These values also affect the type of clothing that you wear. Your appearance communicates your values to others. In the corporate world it is important to present yourself with the kind of polish that shows you can be taken seriously, and also about being comfortable around people (and making them comfortable around you!) Again, in the corporate world, you are supposed to know what is right and what is wrong, and then do the right thing. But the right thing is not as straightforward as a lot of business literature tells you there is a lot of gray area. So, the corporate world is a place where we should know how to dress, how to behave, and how to take decisions so as to do the right thing. With the above in mind, the objectives for this program are: Understand and appreciate Corporate Grooming and Dressing. Understand the importance of Business Etiquette. Understand and appreciate the dilemmas of Business Ethics. We all live in different communities and are born into different cultures, which are often reflected in the clothing that we wear. When you go outside your community or culture group, others may identify you as being different. A business or organization is a culture in itself. When you work for that organization, you become a part of that culture. When you are a member of that culture, you are expected to reflect the values of that organization. A potential employer seeks individuals who have qualified skills, are dependable and enthusiastic. He also seeks someone who will represent the values of their organization. During an interview session, one thing that the potential employer is concerned about is whether or not you will fit in with the culture of their company. One of the determinants for this is based on your appearance. If your appearance is very different from the other employees, you may not fit the image that the company is seeking. Therefore, you may need to alter your appearance to match the values of the company where you are. The way that you look and the way that you act determine what people think about you. If you smile people think that you are pleasant; if you wear wrinkled clothing people think that you do not care. How you feel about yourself on the inside should show on the outside. Some of us know this; some of us do not. If we want the outside world to respond to us in a positive way, we must look and act positively. Our appearance is composed of two components the way in which we groom ourselves, and the way in which we dress. Corporate life expects a particular standard in both these components, and it is very necessary for us to know these standards so as to show the company that we respect the values of the company. Let us now consider some situations to find out what the standards of grooming and dressing are in the corporate world.

GETTING READY FOR AN INTERVIEW

There is nothing more discouraging than to open your closet door to find that you have nothing to wear. Therefore, a planned outfit is a must when you are looking for a job. It is important to have one well fitting and coordinated interview outfit because you never

know when an opportunity to interview for a job will come your way. Do find out about the company youre interviewing with. Call the Personnel Department and find out the dress requirements and dress appropriately. Call the organization where you are applying for a job. Ask about the dress code and recommended clothing to wear. You could say, I have an interview with ................. in the .................. department for a position as an ..................... . Could you please tell me what would be appropriate dress for this interview? It will be easier and quicker to get the items you need if you plan ahead. The less you have to spend, the more important it is to plan. If you have a limited budget, borrow something from a relative or a friend. You can also shop local resale shops. Looking good does not have to cost a fortune. Grooming Checklist for the Interview Day Bathe or shower on the morning of the interview. Brush and floss your teeth. Use mouth wash. Your outfit should be clean and pressed. Your undergarments and other accessories should be ready. Shoes should be polished. Check to make certain the heels are not run-over. Does jewelry match? Is it conservative and tasteful? Are nails and hands clean and neat? Wear cologne, but wear it very lightly. Hair done and neat. Bring a comb with you just in case. For women: Apply makeup lightly. Bring powder and or lipstick to freshen up before the interview. For men: Be freshly shaven. Take a wristwatch with you to keep track of the time, even if it is an inexpensive one. Being on time for the interview is of utmost importance. First Impressions You only have one chance to make a good first impression! A person will size you up in a matter of 15 seconds as you walk into the room! What you wear says a whole lot about who you are, or at least who you are presenting yourself to be. Whether you like it or not, the first impression that you make is visual. This means paying attention to every little detail - from head to toe - is important. Appearance can make the difference in getting or not getting a job. Correct appearance can be your competitive advantage over someone else. With first impressions, there is no erase button so make certain that the first impression is a positive one. Potential employers size you up based on how you look and how you carry yourself. So, pick the package that says what you want the employer to think: This person cares about how they look. This person is serious about finding a job. A interviewer evaluates you by observing the following criteria: 55% body language and appearance 38% verbal tone 7% verbal content Clothing Styles Formal Business: A clean, pressed suit is the best way to go. If this is not available, a suit jacket with coordinated slacks to match is the second choice. Tie with white, blue, beige or other light colored shirt that compliments the suit. Dress shoes, black or brown only. Dark socks.

Informal Business: A sport coat with coordinating slacks is the first choice. If this is not available, slacks with shirt and tie are the next choice. Casual wear: Clean and pressed khakis are recommended. Try to avoid wearing jeans on the job interview. A shirt with a collar is recommended, maybe knit. Complementary shoes, such as bucks can be worn. It is not recommended to wear sports shoes.

Clothing Dos and Donts The following are general guidelines for successful interview dressing: Do wear clean, ironed clothes. Do empty pockets beware of bulging keys and tinkling change. Dont wear loud, bright colors such as greens, reds or purples. These colors can be used sparingly as accents or accessories. Dont wear jeans or t-shirts Dont wear ripped jeans. Do wear buttoned shirts, leaving only one or two buttons open at most, not showing chest. Dont wear sports clothes with emblems. Avoid clothing with large designer labels. Do wear a tie if possible. Make certain that it is knotted firmly, not loosely around the shirt collar. Do wear traditional daytime fabrics. Avoid wearing satins or leather. Accessories Dos and Donts Do wear clean, conservative, and polished shoes. Dont wear more than two rings. Dont wear any body piercing paraphernalia (earrings, nose rings, or eyebrow rings) Dont wear baseball caps or sunglasses. Dont wear athletic shoes, no matter how clean and new. They are considered inappropriate for an interview. Dont wear earrings. If you normally wear one, take it out. Dont wear chains or necklaces. Do shine your shoes. Do wear complimentary and stylish ties. This is one piece of garment that can be eye-catching. Dont wear sandals. How to Tie a Tie Do you know how to tie a tie? Heres how. Make certain that you practice before the day of the interview or have someone help you.

CORPORATE GROOMING DOS AND DONTS FOR MEN:

Do wear your hair clean and styled neatly. Do use deodorant. Do not use a lot of cologne. Do not have dirty fingernails no matter what. Trim nails and scrub hands if necessary. Do cover tattoos wherever possible. Do not smoke, chew gum or spit tobacco. Do shave your facial hair. If you wear a beard, it should be neatly trimmed. Mustaches should also be trimmed.

Maintain good oral hygiene. Brush twice a day, and use a good mouthwash. For the office, carry a small bottle of mouthwash to be used after lunch, snacks etc. After having coffee/tea, wait for a while and then rinse mouth well with water to remove the sugar after-effects on the teeth. Smoking , tobacco, and guthka spoil breath and teeth. Avoid totally. Keep at least 4 pairs of socks to use throughout the week. Change your socks every day, and wash the used one, especially in summer. Socks and shoes smell, and smell bad. Keep at least two pairs of shoes, and air them out daily before wearing them. Use powder on the feet to avoid smells.

FOR WOMEN:
Hygiene and Skin Care Hygiene is an ongoing task. Bathe or shower daily. Rinse or wash your face at least two times a day. Brush and floss daily. Use mouthwash or rinse with diluted baking soda if mouthwash is not available. Drink plenty of water to keep your insides clean. This will also help to keep your skin fresh on the outside. Remove underarm and leg hair regularly. Also, remove any facial hairs as they appear. A depilatory or a bleaching cream may be needed if you have heavy facial growth. Wear very little or no perfume. Mild deodorants or cologne is ok if you tend to perspire. Cover tattoos during working hours. Hands and Feet Your hands talk for you! They should be clean and smooth. Keep a small bottle of lotion to keep your hands moisturized to avoid dryness and flakiness. Keep your nails clean and trimmed, especially long nails. Nail colour should either match clothes or be neutral. If partly chipped off, remove it totally. If hands tend to sweat, keep hanky or tissue handy especially if you have to shake hands. Wear comfortable well-fitting shoes. Otherwise the shoes will pinch not only your feet but also your face! Have more than one pair of shoes so that airing can be done to remove any smells. In summer, dry feet thoroughly, especially between toes, and use talcum powder to prevent any smells. Give yourself a manicure from time to time. Footwear is best matched with the colour of the handbag; otherwise with salwar, churidar, or trousers. It is good to have one hand bag and footwear of matching neutral colours. With western formals, wear closed shoes or sandals. With Indian wear, wear good slippers or strapped sandals. Make-Up The reason for cosmetics is to make you look prettier and highlight your best features. Do learn how to apply makeup properly. It may take practice. Ask a friend to help you or go to a cosmetic counter in a department store for advice. Here are some guidelines: Match foundation to skin tone for a natural look. Blend into neck area so that there is no visible line. Foundation should be applied lightly.

Face powder can also be worn with foundation or worn alone. It smoothes the skin and eliminates facial shine. Eye makeup applied to the natural brow line is the most attractive. If you do wear eye make up, match or blend with your natural color. Light kajal and eyeliner is okay. Avoid elaborate make-up and dark rouge. Avoid shiny and elaborate bindis. If using kumkum, ensure that it doesnt spread where not required. Wear lipstick to compliment the color of your outfit. Use neutral shades like light brown or light maroon. But do stay away from extremely dark or bright colors or bright reds and fluorescent colors. Accessories Ear rings, chains, bangles, rings etc should be well harmonized with the clothes. Avoid very large ear-rings and bangles that make a lot of noise. Avoid wearing glass bangles and bindis with western formals. Hair Your hair should complement your face and complexion. Wear a conservative yet attractive style for the interview. Wash hair once a week with mild soap or shampoo. Dry it well to avoid smells. Style hair so that it is away and out of your face. Hair color should not be more than one or two shades darker or lighter than your natural hair color. Unnatural colors (burgundy, green, etc.) must be avoided. If hair is long, tie up in plait or pony-tail while working, so as to avoid knotting and coming in the way. Loose hair is okay for social functions. No flowers at any time during working hours. Use very little hair oil, if at all. Perfumed oil is a no-no.

CORPORATE DRESSING
Your clothes are talking about you! What you wear expresses how you feel about yourself. What your clothes say about you is within your control. Looking your best always demands careful attention to personal grooming and the clothing that you wear. The first and foremost rule is that you must be the center of attention, not your clothes. Dress Codes Dress codes are legal guidelines that an organization uses for their employees. They are needed for the following reasons: Safety and hygiene- Protective clothing such as steel-toed boots, helmet, hairnets, clean nails, non-flammable uniforms. Health- Prevent harm from bacteria and germs. Identification- For service and assistance, identifiable. Image- Conservative, honest, efficient. For the first few days on the job err on the side of conservative. Watch how your peers and your boss dress. You will then have a sense of the right type of clothing to wear. Dressing like the boss is usually the best idea. It shows your desire to be a part of the organization. If you are still in doubt ask for an employee manual. Most companies have written guidelines that include dress codes. Reading the manual will not only give you a sense of what to wear, but will also give you clues on what is expected of you as an employee. How you look represents the company. To customers, you are the company. Also, your appearance can directly affect your relationship with others on the job and the work

environment. Therefore you should consider your appearance for work, not for yourself. Career Dressing for Men: (Western Formals and Casuals) Non-white long-sleeved shirt and dark coloured trousers. Tie should be matching the socks. Tie may have geometrical designs; it should not be flashy. Tie should come to the middle of the belt. Socks may be any colour other than white and black (Grey, dark brown etc). Never wear white socks on black shoes. During day time wear any colour shoes other than white, suede, and sports shoes; after dark only black. The colour of the belt should match that of the shoes. If you wear a coat, the last button should always be open. When you are standing and addressing an audience, only the last button should be open; the first or first two buttons should be closed. When addressing anybody, never have your hands in your pockets. In the West, cuff-links and tie-pins are completely out-dated. In cold countries, always remove head cover and overcoat after entering the office. For casual wear, avoid black and brown shoes, and dont wear a neck-tie. Many companies have relaxed their dress codes. Casual dress may be appropriate on Fridays or formal dress may only be required for meetings with staff management or customers. The number one rule for casual dress is to observe what everybody else is wearing, especially the bosses. Casual standards may be different for each company. Always remember, good taste and good grooming are always the standard.

Career Dressing for Women (Western and Indian) Western suit either coat and trousers or skirt and trousers, with matching shirt or blouse. Avoid frilly blouses. Stockings, if worn, may be of neutral colours like beige, or match the trousers/skirt. Shoes and handbag should match; alternatively, shoes may match trousers or skirt. Indian dress salwar kameez or churidar kameez or sari. Sari should drape well, with matching blouse having a suitable pattern. When wearing sleeveless outfits, ensure removal of underarm hair. Arms should lend themselves to the outfit. Avoid all armlets for work. Transparent fabrics are a strict no-no, especially with very long slits. Figure hugging kameezes are better avoided; use dupattas in any case. Design of the sari blouse to be modest. Avoid strappy, backless, or off-shoulder blouses. Avoid very large prints and loud or gaudy colours. Certain kinds of stripes can be painful to the eye of the beholder. Wear colours that suit your complexion. Silk and synthetic fabrics are better suited for winter. For summer, cotton is the best. Lighter colours are more suited for the summer. Office Party Wear An elaborate/fancy salwar/churidar kameez, or a grand sari is fine. Fancy accessories are okay, as are flowers If wearing western, trousers, smart jeans, and shirts are okay. In some places, Tshirts are also accepted.

A little more liberty could be taken with make-up. An office party is sometimes an extension of the office itself, in spite of the easygoing atmosphere of the top brass. Be daring, but not too daring in dress and makeup. Too many drinks at the party is a strict no-no. When taking a Client to a Lunch/Dinner For lunch, you will be going straight from the office, so thats no problem. For dinner, either wear sari or western formals. Make-up could be slightly elaborate for dinner. *Final advice about grooming: You are not dressed for what you are, but what you want to be!

BUSINESS ETIQUETTE
Basic Table Manners Table manners play an important part in making a favorable impression. They are visible signals of the state of our manners and therefore are essential to professional success. Regardless of whether we are having lunch with a prospective employer or dinner with a business associate, our manners can speak volumes about us as professionals.
The following questionnaire opens new insights to business etiquette. Q: Why are meals part of etiquette? A: Employers may want to see you in a more social situation to see how you conduct yourself. You could be critically scrutinized on your table manners and conduct. The meal is a time to visit and interact, and this is always more important than the function of eating. Q: Who should sit down first? A: You should wait for your host to ask you to sit down before taking your seat. If he/she doesnt ask you to sit, wait for him/her to be seated, then sit. Q: Is it okay to sit with my legs crossed? A: You should not push your chair back and cross your legs until the meal is completely finished. During the meal, sit up straight and keep your feet flat on the floor or cross your legs at the ankle. Crossing your legs during the meal can cause you to slouch, and looks too casual. Q: Which salad plate, bread and butter plate, and drinks are mine? A: Your salad plate and bread and butter plate are on your left, above your fork. Your beverages are on the right above your spoon. Remember: Solids on the left, liquids on the right. Q: What do I do with my napkin? A: As soon as everyone is seated, unfold your napkin and place it across your lap, folded, with the fold toward you. Do this discreetly without flourish. If you need to leave the table, place your napkin on your chair, folded loosely (NEVER wadded). Only after the meal is over should you place your napkin on the table to the left side of your plate (NEVER on your plate!). Q: How do you wipe your mouth with the napkin? Is it considered poor etiquette to wipe ones mouth with the napkin? A: It is considered poor etiquette NOT to use your napkin. The purpose of the napkins is to keep food off your face. Use it frequently to discreetly dab or wipe (no ear to ear swiping, please) your mouth. Replace the napkin on your lap loosely folded, not wadded and not stuffed between your legs.

Q: What do you do if you drop your napkin on the floor? A: If your napkin falls on the floor and it is within easy reach, retrieve it. If you are unable to retrieve the napkin without drawing attention to yourself, ask the server for another one. Q: When is it okay to begin drinking and eating? Does one wait until the host/hostess starts eating his/her meal at a restaurant? A: If water is on the table as you are seated, it is appropriate to sip your water after everyone is seated and after you have placed your napkin in your lap. For other beverages and foods, wait until everyone has been served, and do not eat until your host/hostess has begun; when your host picks up his/her fork, this is an indicator that you may do so. Do not help yourself to the bread basket and other communal foods until your host has indicated you may do so. Q: What do you do if your host/hostess uses the wrong utensil? Do you follow his/her lead? A: You should eat correctly, but never point out errors of others. If you dont know how to eat a certain food, follow the lead of your host. Q: What should I order to drink? A: Water, juice, or iced tea are safe choices. It is best not to order alcohol even if the interviewer does. One glass of wine, sipped slowly, may be acceptable. Know your own limits. You want to remain sharp and responsive. Do not consume alcoholic beverages if you are under 21 years of age! Coffee or hot tea after the meal is okay if this is offered and if time allows. Q: Is it rude or wrong to use multiple packets of sugar/sweetener in tea or coffee? A: Limit yourself to one or two packets of sugar. Tear one or both at the same time of the way at the top of the packet, and leave the paper waste at the side of the plate. Using more than two packets of sugar or artificial sweetener may be seen as excessive. Q: What is an appropriate way to explain a food allergy? A: Refrain from talking about health during meals and in business situations. If you know the menu in advance, you can let your host know ahead of time that you cannot eat a certain food. Be pleasant about your request, and apologize for any inconvenience. This allows your host to make arrangements for you. If food you cannot eat is served to you at a meal, simply leave it. Be discreet and pleasant if you are asked why you are not eating. In a restaurant where you are ordering from the menu, you can explain any allergies discreetly to your server. Again, be pleasant and dont call attention to yourself or make this a topic of conversation. Q: What do you do if the menu is fixed and you are served something you do not want? A: Be polite and appreciative. Never criticize or state a dislike for a food that is served to you (something we all should have learned by age 5). This is insulting to your host. Simply eat foods you do like, and make an attempt to taste unfamiliar foods. If you are asked point blank if you like something, and it would be an obvious untruth to say you do, say something gracious like, Its different, or Im not accustomed to this flavor, but Im glad for the opportunity to try this. Q: What if I order from the menu but am served the wrong thing. A: If its a major mistake, you can discreetly mention this to the server immediately so that it can be corrected. If the error is small you didnt want tomatoes, but they are served to you, or you received the wrong side dish ignore it. Fussing over food can make you look childish, finicky and concerned with the wrong things (not assets

in a job candidate). Your goal is to appear gracious. Q: What is appropriate to order for dinner? A: Simple foods that are easily eaten with a fork and knife (meats, simple salads and soups). Avoid spaghetti or other things with red sauce, huge deli sandwiches, greasy hand held items like pizza, and gassy foods like beans, broccoli, or cauliflower. Sometimes you may not have a choice. Follow your hosts lead. Q: Is it best to avoid ordering a food if you cant pronounce its name? A: No. If youd like it, ask the server to describe the food, and point to it on the menu. Q: How are things like the bread- basket, butter and salad dressings passed? A: When your host indicates (Please help yourself to bread, or something similar), the person closest takes the service plate/basket, offers it to the person on his left, helps himself, and passes to the person on his right. Always include the service plate in passing; dont, for example, lift the salad dressing bowl off the service plate and pass the bowl by itself. Foods should go from the service plate to your plate, never to your mouth. Butter should be placed on your bread and butter plate, not directly on your bread. Dont touch other peoples food, and never use your used utensils to obtain food from a service plate. Q: Is it okay to spread butter on my entire roll at one time? A: No. It is appropriate to break off a bite-sized piece of your roll, butter it and eat it, one bite at a time. If the piece you break off is slightly too big to make one bite, its fine to eat it in two bites, and much better than stuffing a too-large bite into your mouth. Q: How do I eat and answer questions at the same time? A: By taking very small bites, so you can quickly finish and swallow the bite before speaking. Never speak with food in your mouth. You may not have much time to eat if you are being asked a lot of questions; remember that the main point of the meal is to interact and eating is secondary. You can initiate asking your host questions so that the conversation is more balanced and you have more time to eat. Dont eat too quickly, and dont attempt to hurriedly bolt down all your food. A large, hurriedly-eaten meal can make you drowsy and uncomfortable; a disadvantage if you have interviewing after the meal. Q: How should soup be consumed? A: Dip your spoon away from yourself to fill your spoon with soup. Rest your spoon periodically. Sip quietly. To finish the last bit of soup, you may slightly tip your bowl to fill your spoon. Q: Should one go out of his/her way to use utensils when he/she is eating finger food? A: When in doubt, eat with a utensil rather than with your fingers, even those foods (like french fries) that you may eat by hand at home. If something is served on a plate, you should use utensils! Chicken, or any other meat with a bone, is not finger food; you should use the knife and fork. Q: If you are wearing a nametag and are having problems with it, what is the appropriate course of action? A: If the nametag is not sticky and keeps falling off on the table or on the floor, remove it. If the nametag is in your way, move it. Q: Is it better to spear or scoop food? A: Scooping or spearing depends on the type of the food. Do not jab at your food; try to scoop and spear in the same action. Q: How does one indicate having finished an appetizer or soup? Should the fork or spoon be placed in or out of the bowl? A: When a service plate is used under the food vessel, always rest your utensil on the

service plate behind the food vessel. Obviously if there is no service plate, rest your utensil in the food vessel. Your utensil always rests with the handle to your right. Never place a used utensil on the table. If plates are being cleared and you are not finished, simply lift your utensil as though you are in the process of eating. However, dont lag behind the rest of the diners; if everyone else is finished, and youre not, simply leave the remaining food. Q: Do you always pass the salt with the pepper, even if someone asks for salt only? A: Yes, always pass the salt and the pepper together. It is also considered rude to use it first before passing it to the person who asked for it. Q: Is it rude to season your food before tasting it? A: Yes. This is an insult to the chef. You should not salt and pepper your food before tasting it. Try a bite first, then season if necessary. Dont over season; this can appear childish. Q: What do you do if there is a hair in the food? A: You have a few choices if you find hair in the food. You can discreetly remove it, eat around it, or politely ask the server to bring you another plate. In any case, do not cause a scene and do not spoil the appetites of others at the table. Q: Do you announce to the table if you need to be excused? What is the appropriate way? A: You can excuse yourself from the table by saying, Excuse me; you do not need to offer an explanation. Q: If a lady were to get up during the meal, should all men get up too? A: Yes, men should rise when a lady leaves the table. It is not necessary to completely stand for a temporary departure. Simply rise off the seat to acknowledge her leaving. Q: Is it appropriate to put eye drops (for contact lenses) in my eyes at the table? A: Absolutely not. No grooming of any kind should be done at the table. You should excuse yourself for this purpose. Q: If you are a slow eater, should you finish completely or just quit when everyone else is finished? A: Try to stay with the pace of the meal so that you dont hold up the remaining courses. If you are lagging behind, when the others are done eating, dont make them wait on you too long. Q: Is it ever OK to remove your jacket for heat or other reasons? Is it appropriate to ask? Does this differ for males and females? A: As a general rule, follow the lead of the host before removing your jacket. If the host keeps on his/her jacket, keep yours on. If it is unbelievably hot, it is appropriate to ask the hosts/hostess permission. This applies to both men and women. Keep in mind that some restaurants/clubs require customers to keep their jackets on during meals. Q: What is the correct response to someone accidentally sneezing on the table (near the food)? A: Respond by saying Bless you, and continue with your meal. If the person sneezed on your meal, dont eat it, but dont make an announcement about it. Q: Where do you place the knife when you are eating? A: Put the knife across the top of your plate when you are eating, blade facing toward you. Q: What do you do with your soup spoon when you are momentarily not eating? A: When you are resting, place the soup spoon on the service plate, or leave it in the bowl if there is not a service plate. When you are finished, place the spoon on the service plate.

Q: Is it okay to lick your fork/spoon before putting it down? A: Absolutely not. Remove all food from your utensil when you remove the utensil from your mouth. Do not take partial bites off a utensil; so do not put more food on your utensil than you can place in your mouth with one bite. Q: What if your dinner fork falls on the floor and you cannot get the servers attention? A: Do not reach pick up dropped utensils. Wait until you get the servers attention and discreetly ask for a new utensil. Q: How do I call the server if I need him/her? A: You can usually catch her/his eye, but if not, you may ask a nearby server. If the matter is not urgent, wait until the server checks at the table to make sure everything is okay; be discreetly on the lookout for him/her to do so, so you wont be caught with your mouth full. Avoid getting up from the table to hunt someone down. Remember the meal is not the main purpose for your being there. Q: What do you do if a piece of food falls off your plate? A: If the food falls on the floor, leave it and dont step on it. If the food falls on the table and it is a big piece, use your fork and move it to a corner of your plate. Otherwise, let it be. Q: How do you let someone know he/she has something in his/her teeth? A: Be subtle and quiet. Do not bring it to the attention of everyone at the table and do not embarrass the person. If it is someone of importance, you may not want to cause him or her any embarrassment; so let it go! Q: What if I get something stuck in my teeth? A: Try to remove the lodged item with your tongue. If this does not work, excuse yourself from the table and go to the restroom. Its a good idea to go to the restroom after the meal to check your teeth and freshen up. Toothpicks should be used discreetly and in private; never at the table. Q: What do I do if I have a bone in my mouth? A: If you have a bone in your mouth, remove it unobtrusively with your fork, and place it on the rim of our plate. Any time something needs to be removed from your mouth, remove it be the same means (fork, spoon, fingers, etc.) that it went in. Q: What do I do when I dont want to swallow something I already have in my mouth (such as an olive pit or a piece of gristle)? A: If it went in with your fork, it should come out with your fork and likewise with your hands. Move it to your tongue and onto the fork and deposit it on the rim of your plate. No one should notice you doing this, because the fork to mouth motion is a common one made by anyone who is eating. Q: How do you avoid eating a certain food? (For example, onions on a salad) A: Discreetly eat around the food and/or move it carefully to the side of the plate or bowl. Dont make a fuss, and dont remove it from the plate. Q: What should I do if my food is cold or doesnt taste good? A: If your food needs to be warmer but is not unbearable, you should just eat it and not call the server over to avoid a scene. However, if it is not edible, politely call the server over and explain. Q: What do you say when you really dont like your meal and someone asks, How is your meal? A: Be polite and say, Fine, thank you. Q: Is it OK to rest your wrists on the edge of the table in between bites? A: Yes, it is all right to rest your wrists on the edge of the table or place your hands in your lap, but no elbows on the table!

Q: As a left-hander, is there anything one should do differently? A: If you are allowed to choose your seat, choose a seat where you do not hit any other persons elbows. Q: Should you clean your plate in any particular way? (Push all uneaten food to one side?) A: You do not have to clean your plate. It is polite to leave some food on your plate. Do not push the remaining food around on the plate. Q: What do I do to signal I am finished with my meal? A: Your silverware should be parallel to each other in the ten and four oclock position (as on the face of a clock), with handles at 4:00 and tops of the utensils at 10:00. The knife blade points toward you. Never place or rest used utensils on the table. Q: What do I do when the check comes? A: Typically in an interview, you are the guest and so the meal is paid for by the company. Your host will most likely pick up the check so you wont have to deal with it. Remember to thank your host for the meal at its conclusion. Q: What should I do if I feel sick during the dinner? A: If you really cannot make it through the dinner, just excuse yourself and go to the rest room. Return when you are feeling better or have the server explain that you are not feeling well. Key Points to Remember: 1. Remember the purpose of the meal. 2. Follow the lead of your host or hostess. 3. Be discreet.

DEALING WITH PEOPLE

Etiquette does not mean merely knowing which fork or spoon to use. People are a key factor in your own and your business success. Many potentially worthwhile and profitable alliances have been lost because of an unintentional breach of manners. Most behavior that is perceived as disrespectful, discourteous or abrasive is unintentional, and could have been avoided by practicing good manners or etiquette. It has been found that most negative experiences with someone were unintentional and easily repaired by keeping an open mind and maintaining open, honest communication. Basic knowledge and practice of etiquette is a valuable advantage, because in a lot of situations, a second chance may not be possible or practical. There are many written and unwritten rules and guidelines for etiquette, and it is certainly necessary for a business person to learn them. The caveat is that there is no possible way to know all of them! These guidelines have some difficult-to-navigate nuances, depending on the company, the local culture, and the requirements of the situation. Possibilities to commit a mistake are limitless, and chances are, sooner or later, youll make a mistake. But you can minimize them, recover quickly, and avoid causing a bad impression by being generally considerate and attentive to the concerns of others, and by adhering to the basic rules of etiquette. When in doubt, stick to the basics, which are: The most important thing to remember is to be courteous and thoughtful to the people around you, regardless of the situation. Considering other peoples feelings, stick to your convictions as diplomatically as possible.

Address conflict as situation-related, rather than person-related. Apologize when you step on toes. This sounds simplistic, but these are the very traits we work so hard to inculcate in our children. Avoid raising your voice, using harsh or derogatory language toward anyone (present or absent), or interrupting. You may not get as much airtime in meetings at first, but what you do say will be much more effective because it carries the weight of credibility and respectability. Dealing with People Talk and visit with people. Dont differentiate by position or standing within the company. Secretaries and janitorial staff actually have tremendous power to help or hinder your career. Next time you need a document prepared or a conference room arranged for a presentation, watch how many people are involved with that process, and make it a point to meet them and show your appreciation. Make it a point to arrive ten or fifteen minutes early and visit with people that work near you. When youre visiting another site, linger over a cup of coffee and introduce yourself to people nearby. f you arrive early for a meeting, introduce yourself to the other participants. At social occasions, use the circumstances of the event itself as an icebreaker. After introducing yourself, talk a little about yourself; just enough to get people to open up and get to know you as a person. Keep notes on people. Create a people database with names, addresses, phone numbers, birthdays, spouse and childrens names; whatever depth of information is appropriate for your situation. Its a good idea to remember what you can about people; and to be thoughtful. Send cards or letters for birthdays or congratulations of promotions or other events, send flowers for engagements, weddings or in condolence for the death of a loved one or family member. People will remember your kindness, probably much longer than you will! Peers and Subordinates It is an established fact that 40% of new management hires fail in their first jobs. The key reason for their failure is their inability to build good relationships with peers and subordinates. People tend to feel uneasy until theyve seen an organizational chart or figured out who reports to whom. They feel that it is more important to show respect and practice etiquette around superiors than around peers or subordinates. In these days of rapid advancement through technology, it is very possible that a salesman who was a nuisance becomes an important client, or an administrative assistant becomes a manager. Mergers and acquisitions can cause a former competitor to become a co-worker. This can make things awkward if you treat people differently depending on their corporate standing. If you show respect and courtesy to everyone, regardless of position or company, you avoid discomfort or damaging your chances in any unexpected turn of events. Having a consistent demeanor improves your credibility. Even the people at the top will begin to suspect your motives if you treat VIPs with impeccable courtesy and snap at counter clerks.

Bosses and Superiors The only thing you owe your boss, above and beyond what you owe peers and subordinates, is more information. Very quietly, be sure he or she knows what youre doing, is alerted as early as possible to issues that may arise, and is aware of outcomes and milestones. Your boss should never be surprised. It goes without saying that you should speak well of him or her within and outside the company, and give him or her the benefit of the doubt. (Which you would do for anyone, of course!.) International Business It is important to note that etiquette in other cultures requires a bit of adaptation and flexibility. If youre traveling on business to a foreign destination, or have visitors here, it is a good idea to learn as much as you can about the culture they are coming from and make appropriate allowances. Items to consider: Language (learn theirs if possible, but dont pretend to be fluent unless you have many years of study.) Time zones Working schedules Holidays Food customs (table manners, use of implements, etc.) Generally speaking, as long as you are trying to be considerate and express an interest in learning, you should be fine. If in doubt, err on the conservative, formal side. Meetings If a subject is important enough to call a meeting, be considerate of the participants time and ensure that it is well prepared. Communicate the objective beforehand. Communicate the expected duration ( Be sure to observe the ending time scrupulously, unless everyone agrees to continue.) Communicate the list of Items expected to be discussed Often overlooked- be sure to THANK meeting members for their time and participation, and demonstrate (in the minutes or written record, at least) how their contributions helped meet the objective of the meeting. Participants are frequently left wondering if theyve been heard or if their attendance and contributions were noticed. Distribute minutes or some written record (no matter how simple the meeting) to all attendees and absentees, with concise but complete descriptions of decisions made and including action items. Never assign an action item to a person who is not present to negotiate it, unless you absolutely have to. Note in the minutes that the person hasnt been notified, and will be contacted for a final disposition of the item.

COMMUNICATION MEDIA ETIQUETTE

The Telephone Always return calls. Even if you dont yet have an answer to the callers question, call and explain what youre doing to get the requested information, or direct them to the appropriate place to get it. If youre going to be out, have someone pick up your calls or at a minimum, have your answering system tell the caller when youll be back in the office and when they can expect a call back. When you initiate a call and get a receptionist or secretary, identify yourself and tell

them the basic nature of your call. That way, youll be sure youre getting the right person or department and the person youre trying to reach will be able to get the appropriate information and help you more efficiently. When you receive a phone call, identify yourself and your department, if it is an inhouse call, and your name and the company if it is an outside call. Answer the phone with some enthusiasm or at least warmth, even if you ARE being interrupted, the person on the other end doesnt know that! Make sure your voice mail system is working properly and doesnt tell the caller that the mailbox is full, transfer them to nowhere, or ring indefinitely. Address technical and system problems- a rude machine or system is as unacceptable as a rude person. You dont have to reply to tele-advertisements. If someone is calling to sell you something, you can indicate that you are not interested and hang up without losing too much time on it. However, you do need to be careful. You may be receiving a call from an insurance or long distance company that wants to hire you as a consultant! Be sure you know the nature of the call before you (politely, of course) excuse yourself. Personalize the conversation. Many people act in electronic media (including phone, phone mail, and e-mail) the way they act in their cars. They feel since theyre not face-to-face with a person, it is perfectly acceptable to be abrupt, crass, or rude. We need to ensure that we make best use of the advantages of these media without falling headfirst into the disadvantages. Dont put a person on hold without asking him if he would mind holding. When you take a message for someone, do so on a large sheet of paper in some detail. Do not edit the message. Add the date and time, and your signature before leaving it on the absentees table. Dont make funny noises on the phone. Drinking water while answering the phone, or eating chips, or blowing your nose, is unacceptable. E-mail While addressing the mail, in the TO column, put the i.d.s of the person(s) who is to take action in the matter; in the CC column, the ids of those who are in the loop only; the BCC column should better be left unused as many companies consider it unethical to use that column. Make the subject line specific and short. Dont leave the subject blank, and dont use a generic subject line, Hi or Just for you. Dont also have a long subject line. Use different mails for different subjects; do not club three or more different subjects under a general subject. Only one subject, and its connected data, should be in one mail. Follow correspondence rules. Do not type everything in caps or in lower case; follow grammar rules, and dont commit mistakes. Punctuation marks should be correctly used, and not overused, showing intense excitement etc. Use soft and neutral words, and cut out harsh or emotional content. A business letter should be business-like, not a drama script. Your mails should normally fit into one page without the reader having to scroll down. Dont forward messages with three pages of mail-to information before they get to the content. In the message you forward, delete the extraneous information such as

all the Memo to, subject, addresses, and date lines. When replying to a mail, dont automatically hit the Reply All button. Sometimes very embarrassing internal mail goes to an external customer, with disastrous results. When replying to a question, copy only the question into your e-mail, then provide your response. Address and sign your e-mails. Although this is included in the To and From sections, remember that youre communicating with a person, not a computer. Use your company id only for business mail, and your personal id for your friends etc. All mails sent through the company computer are scanned by the company. Be careful regarding what you send. If you have visited an X site, then you are in deep hot water. Be careful what you write in your mails. They are a record, and can be used against you in the future, when you least expect it. Interruptions Avoid interruptions (of singular or group work sessions, meetings, phone calls, or even discussions) if at all possible. Most management folks feel free to interrupt informal working sessions of subordinates, but need to realize that they may be interrupting a brainstorming session that will produce the companys next big success. Always apologize if you must interrupt a conversation, meeting, or someones concentration on a task. Quickly state the nature of what you need, and show consideration for the fact that you are interrupting valuable work or progress. Guests, Consultants, and New Employees If you have a new employee, guest, or consultant working at your company for a day, week, or longer, be sure that that person has the resources and information that he or she needs to do the job. This isnt just courtesy, its good business, since time spent looking for things is embarrassing to the consultant and expensive for your company. Give a consultant or guest the same type of workspace as an employee at your company in a similar role. A consultant who is there to do programming should have, if at all possible, the same size cubicle, type of computer equipment, etc. as an employee programmer would have in your company. This prevents your employees from feeling looked down-upon, and the consultant from feeling singled out or treated as secondrate. A guest from a regulatory agency will want to know whats really going on in the company. By treating him or her like everyone else, (instead of isolating them in a plush office in a far wing, for example) will raise less suspicion and enable them to get the information they need more efficiently. Appoint an employee to be a buddy to a guest or consultant to ensure that they are introduced around, shown the ropes, and have someone to help resolve little logistical problems that may arise and cause non-productivity or embarrassment. Appreciation/Credit Always pass along credit and compliments to EVERYONE who made a contribution to the effort. Speak well of your coworkers and always point out their accomplishments to any interested party. Appearing to have taken the credit in a superiors or customers eyes is the surest way to sabotage a relationship with a coworker. Social Settings

Many impressions formed during a party, dinner or golf game can make or break a key business arrangement, whether or not business is discussed directly. Always carry business cards. Arrive at a party at the stated time or up to 30 minutes later. (Not earlier than the stated time, under any circumstances.) Introductions Before an event, use your address book or your people database to refresh your memory about the people you are likely to meet. If you forget someones name, you can sometimes cover by introducing a person you do know first, which will usually get the unknown person to introduce him or herself. If this doesnt work, an admission that youve had a mental block is preferable to obvious flailing around. Volumes of information have been written on what is right and correct in business etiquette. Its enough to make veterans and newcomers too insecure to deal with people. The important thing to remember is that if you strive to make the people around you feel comfortable and valued, you have succeeded whether youre perfectly in compliance with these or any rules youve read.

BUSINESS ETHICS
Business ethics are a hot topic these days. But along with this new focus comes a lot of gray area. Many times, managers are forced to decide on issues where there are arguments on both sides - a problem that makes ethical decision-making very difficult. So what is Business Ethics? Simply put, ethics involves learning what is right or wrong, and then doing the right thing but the right thing is not nearly as straightforward as conveyed in a great deal of business ethics literature. Most ethical dilemmas in the workplace are not simply a matter of Should Bob steal from Jack? or Should Jack lie to his boss? before we go on to ethical dilemmas, let us first consider simple ethics. Lets try out a questionnaire on simple ethics. How Honest are you? Given below is a questionnaire which require a True-False answer. Give yourself 2 marks for every True answer, and 1 mark for a False answer. Since the quiz is confidential, please rate yourself honestly, and dont put down ideal answers. 1. As an office-bearer of any association, I never spend college money for my own personal use. 2. When given any work outside the college, I do the work honestly and faithfully, and dont waste time or money. 3. I never take college items, even small ones, for personal or family use. 4. Those who know me consider my word my bond. 5. Loyal and faithful friend is one way my friends would describe me. 6. Recognizing how readily we influence the behavior of others, I strive to set a good example in all my endeavors. 7. Each day I work at remaining honest in all interactions, both in and out of the college. 8. In general, my approach toward others, both at home and away from home, is to treat them the way I would like to be treated. 9. I have never conducted personal business on college time by bunking classes. 10. I have never absented myself as sick when I really wasnt. 11. I have never used an ethnically derogative term when referring to another person. 12. I have never told or passed along an ethnically or sexually oriented joke.

13. I have never engaged in negative gossip, or spread rumors about someone. 14. I have never spoken ill of the college or management to others. 15. I have never snooped into a class- mates conversations or private affairs. 16. I have never passed along information that was shared with me in confidence. 17. I have never knowingly ignored (violated) an organizational rule or procedure. 18. I have never failed to follow through on something I said I would do. 19. I have never withheld information that others needed. 20. I have never been less than honest (lied or manipulated the truth) to make a point. 21. I have never taken or accepted credit for something that someone else did. 22. I have never failed to admit to or correct a mistake I made. 23. I have never knowingly let someone commit a mistake and get into trouble. 24. I have never cheated on any task or report. 25. I have never knowingly done any poor quality (or defective) work.

EXERCISE ON ETHICAL DILEMMAS

Perhaps too often, business ethics is portrayed as a matter of resolving conflicts in which one option appears to be the clear choice. For example, case studies are often presented in which an employee is faced with whether or not to lie, steal, cheat, abuse another, break terms of a contract, etc. However, ethical dilemmas faced by managers are often more real-to-life and highly complex with no clear guidelines, whether in law or often in religion. One knows when they have a significant ethical conflict when there is presence of a) significant value conflicts among differing interests, b) real alternatives that are equally justifiable, and c) significant consequences on stakeholders in the situation. An ethical dilemma exists when one is faced with having to make a choice among these alternatives. Let us have an activity which will show us what ethical dilemmas are.

QUESTIONS TO ADDRESS DILEMMAS

There are questions you should ask yourself whenever you are faced with an ethical dilemma. Is it legal? In other words, will you be violating any criminal laws, civil laws or company policies by engaging in this activity? Is it balanced? Is it fair to all parties concerned both in the short-term as well as the long-term? Is this a win-win situation for those directly as well as indirectly involved? Is it right? Most of us know the difference between right and wrong, but when push comes to shove, how does this decision make you feel about yourself? Are you proud of yourself for making this decision? Would you like others to know you made the decision you did? Does it match stated commitments and guarantees? Would I do it to my family or friends? Would it be okay for someone to do it to me? Would the most ethical person I know do it? Twelve Questions to Address Ethical Dilemmas 1. Have you defined the problem accurately? 2. How would you define the problem if you stood on the other side of the fence? 3. How did this situation occur in the first place? 4. To whom and to what do you give your loyalty as a person and as a member of the corporation? 5. What is your intention in making this decision?

6. How does this intention compare with the probable results? 7. Whom could your decision or action injure? 8. Can you discuss the problem with the affected parties before you make your decision? 9. Are you confident that your position will be as valid over a long period of time as it seem now? 10. Could you disclose without qualm your decision or action to your boss, your CEO, the board of directors, your family, society as a whole? 11. What is the symbolic potential of your action if understood? misunderstood? 12. Under what conditions would you allow exceptions to your stand?

ETHICS POLICY PRINCIPLES/PRACTICE

When you are developing your ethics policy, you must decide what it is you want your company to stand for, put it in writing, and enforce it. You can base your policy on five fundamental principles: Purpose. A purpose combines both your vision as well as the values you would like to see upheld in your business. It comes from the top and outlines specifically what is considered acceptable as well as unacceptable in terms of conduct in your business. Pride. Pride builds dignity and self-respect. If employees are proud of where they work and what they are doing, they are much more apt to act in an ethical manner. Patience. Since you must focus on long-term versus short-term results, you must develop a certain degree of patience. Without it, you will become too frustrated and will be more tempted to choose unethical alternatives. Persistence. Persistence means standing by your word. It means being committed. If you are not committed to the ethics you have outlined, then they become worthless. Stand by your word. Perspective. In a world where there is never enough time to do everything we need or want to do, it is often difficult to maintain perspective. However, stopping and reflecting on where your business is headed, why you are headed that way, and how you are going to get there allows you to make the best decisions both in the shortterm as well as the long-term. A company policy is a reflection of the values deemed important to the business. As you develop your ethics policy, focus on what you would like the world to be like, not on what others tell you it is. Remember, you must consider the bottom line, but make it integrity before profit. Theres a common phrase in business that encourages people to display initiative. It suggests that they determine ways to overcome the obstacles of bureaucracy, of red tape, and to move a project ahead. This phrase is: It is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. In the context of ethics, however, do not follow that concept. In fact, when dealing with ethics that concept would serve you best if you reversed it: It is better to ask for permission than to ask for forgiveness. 4.30 pm 4.45 pm How To Say NO With Tact You may be faced with a situation in which a partner or co-owner proposes an action that you believe is not ethical or outright wrong. Perhaps an employee comes to you with this situation. What do you do?

What do you tell your employee? You may be tempted to do what is asked because you know the person or you feel obligated for some other reason. Fight the temptation. Take a stand. Say NO, with tact. Heres how ... Dont accuse the other person of being unethical. Instead, use I statements to describe your feelings. State Your Objection And Concern Without Indictment. I have serious concerns about that, and I need your understanding ... I honestly believe it is wrong because ... I cant do what I feel is wrong ... Propose An Alternative Action That You Feel Is Ethical. I think I know what you want to accomplish, and I feel theres a better way to do it. How about ... Ask For The Persons Help And Agreement. I really need your help. I want to make sure we both do the right thing. Will you go with me on this one? Whos responsible for acting ethically? You are! It is every person. Ultimately, each of us is responsible for our own actions, including being ethical. Considering the 3Rs will point you and your employees in the right ethical direction. The first R of business ethics is RESPECT. Treating everyone (customers, co-workers, vendors, etc.) with dignity and courtesy. Using company supplies, equipment, time, and money appropriately, efficiently, and for business use only. Protecting and improving your work environment, and abiding by laws, rules and regulations that exist to protect our world and our way of life. The second R of business ethics is RESPONSIBILITY. Providing timely, high-quality goods and services. Working collaboratively and carrying your share of the load. Meeting all performance expectations and adding value. The third R of business ethics is RESULTS. Essential in attaining results is an understanding that the way results are attained. Using the phrase The ends justify the means is an excuse that is too often used to explain an emotional response, or action that was not well planned or carefully considered. Obviously, you are expected to get results for your organization and for your customers. However, you are also expected to get those results legally and morally, by being ethical. If you lose sight of the distinction, you jeopardize your job, your business and your career. Watch Out For The Big Four: 1. GREED - the drive to acquire or possess more and more in ones self-interest; 2. SPEED - the motivation to cut corners in response to the speed the pace of business; 3. LAZINESS - taking the easy path of least effort and resistance; 4. HAZINESS - acting and reacting without thinking. These are primary factors leading to unethical behavior. And theyre all temptations that must be fought.

-----------The End of ADAPTING TO CORPORATE LIFE-------------------

DISCUSSIONS,DECISIONS AND PRESENTATIONS :

In our previous sessions, we have considered the world of teams. However, it is not correct for us to overlook the contribution made by groups also. After all, it is these groups that turn into teams in some cases. Our objectives in this program will be: Understand and participate in Group Discussions. Appreciate the nuances of the Group Decision-making process. Understand the basics of how to make a Presentation. What is a group? Broadly speaking, it is a collection of people, working together to get a job done. When they are working together in this way, the group process leads to a spirit of cooperation, coordination and commonly understood procedures. Because of this, the group performance is enhanced by their synergy and mutual support. Why do we require groups? Because they are particularly good at combining talents and providing innovative solutions to unfamiliar problems; In cases where there is no well established approach/procedure, the wider skill and knowledge of the group has a distinct advantage over that of the individual. A group can be seen as a self managing unit. The skills provided by its members and the self monitoring which each group performs makes it a reasonably safe to delegate responsibility. Even if a problem could be decided by a single person, there are two main benefits in involving the people who will carry out the decision. Firstly, the motive of participating in the decision will enhance its implementation. Secondly, there may be factors which the implementer understands better than the single person. If the lowest echelons of the workforce each become trained in understanding the companys objectives and work practices through group decision making, then each will be better able to solve work-related problems in general. Further, they will also become a safe recipient for delegated authority which is exemplified in the celebrated right of Japanese car workers to halt the production line. From the individuals point of view, there is the added incentive that through belonging to a group each can participate in achievements well beyond his/her own individual potential. The group provides an environment where the individuals level of responsibility and authority is enhanced, and where accountability is shared: thus providing a perfect motivator through enhanced self-esteem coupled with low stress. The bottom line is that the individuals talents are better utilized in a group. Lets check these factors out with you by having a small activity called The Top Ten Time Wasters).

THE TOP TEN TIME WASTERS:

Then write down your list, which is as follows: 1. Crises.

2. Telephone calls. 3. Poor planning. 4. Attempting to do too much. 5. Drop-in visitors. 6. Poor delegation. 7. Personal disorganization. 8. Lack of self-discipline. 9. Inability to say no. 10. Procrastination.

STRUCTURED GROUP DISCUSSIONS

In the higher strata of management, groups are utilized in the field of idea generation. They do so by holding group discussions. Why do we have group discussion? Have you ever seen a football game? Or been a part of a football team? As in a football game, where you play like a team, passing the ball to each team member and aim for a common goal, GD is also based on team work, incorporating views of different team members to reach a common goal. A Group Discussion can be defined as a formal discussion involving ten to 12 participants in a group. They are given a topic. After some time, during which they collect their thoughts, the group is asked to discuss the topic for 20 to 25 minutes. Group discussion allows you to exchange information and ideas and gives you the experience of working in a team. In the work place, discussions enable management to draw on the ideas and expertise of staff, and to acknowledge the staff as valued members of a team. Some advantages of group discussion are: Ideas can be generated. Ideas can be shared. Ideas can be tried out. Ideas can be responded to by others. Groups provide a support and growth for any endeavour. Group discussion skills have many professional applications. Working in groups is fun! There are 2 types of GD Structured Unstructured. 9.35 am 9.50 am For a structured GD, several roles may be assigned to get the best out of the discussion. Initiator: He starts the topic of discussion. Information seeker: His role is to ask questions related to the topic. Information giver: His role is to answer any questions raised during the discussion. Procedure facilitator: He normally keeps track of the discussion by keeping minutes or notes. Opinion seeker: On every point raised, this person asks the opinion of the others regarding the value. Opinion giver: Answers the opinion seeker and others. Clarifier: Suggests extra data they may require in order to clear up any point.

Summarizer: Summarizes the discussion Some more roles become important as the discussion develops and opposing points of view begin to emerge. Social Supporter: Encourages the group when good points are raised. Harmonizer: Tries to consider the benefits from two opposing points of view. Tension Reliever: When tempers rise high, this person may try to consider the different angles raised. Energizer: Tries to develop someones good idea a little more. Compromiser: When the discussion becomes heated, he tries for a compromise. Gatekeeper: Encourages silent members to contribute. Negative Roles to be Avoided Disgruntled non-participant: someone who does not contribute and whose presence inhibits the participation of other group members. Attacker: someone who acts aggressively by expressing disapproval of other members and their contributions to the discussion. Dominator: someone who takes control of the discussion by talking too much, interrupting other members, or behaving in a patronising way. Clown: someone who shows off, refuses to take the discussion seriously, or disrupts it with inappropriate humour.

UNSTRUCTURED GROUP DISCUSSIONS

The Unstructured GD is normally used by companies to assess a candidates personality traits. Here are some of the most important personality traits that a candidate should possess to do well at a GD: 1. Team Player Companies lay great emphasis on this parameter because it is essential for managers to be team players. The reason is that managers always work in teams. At the beginning of his career, a manager works as a team member. And, later, as a team leader. Management aspirants who lack team skills cannot be good managers. 2. Reasoning Ability Reasoning ability plays an important role while expressing your opinions or ideas at a GD. An opinion can be better stated by demonstrating your reasoning ability and completing the missing links between subject and object. 3. Leadership A leader would have the following qualities: shows direction to the group whenever group moves away from the topic. coordinates the effort of the different team members in the GD. contributes to the GD at regular intervals with valuable insights. inspires and motivates team members to express their views. 4. Flexibility You must be open to other ideas as well as to the evaluation of your ideas: That is what flexibility is all about. Never ever start your GD with a stand or a conclusion. By taking a stand, you have already given your decision without discussing the topic at hand or listening to the views of your team members. Also, if you encounter an opposition with a very strong point at the 11th hour, you end up in a typical catch-22 situation: If you change your stand, you are seen as a fickle-minded or a whimsical person. If you do not change your stand, you are seen as an inflexible, stubborn and obstinate person. 5. Assertiveness

You must put forth your point to the group in a very emphatic, positive and confident manner. Participants often confuse assertiveness with aggressiveness. Aggressiveness is all about forcing your point on the other person, and can be a threat to the group. An aggressive person can also demonstrate negative body language, whereas an assertive person displays positive body language. 6. Initiative A general trend amongst students is to start a GD and get the initial points earmarked for the initiator. But that is a high risk-high return strategy. Initiate a GD only if you are well versed with the topic. If you start and fail to contribute at regular intervals, it gives the impression that you started the GD just for the sake of the initial points. Remember: You never ever get a second chance to create a first impression. 7. Creativity/ Out of the box thinking An idea or a perspective which opens new horizons for discussion on the GD topic is always highly appreciated. When you put across a new idea convincingly, such that it is discussed at length by the group, it can only be positive. You will find yourself in the good books of the examiner. 8. Inspiring ability A good group discussion should incorporate views of all the team members. If some team members want to express their ideas but are not getting the opportunity to do so, giving them an opportunity to express their ideas or opinions will be seen as a positive trait. Caution: If a participant is not willing to speak, you need not necessarily go out of the way to ask him to express his views. This may insult him and hamper the flow of the GD. 9. Listening Always try and strike a proper balance between expressing your ideas and imbibing ideas. 10. Awareness You must be well versed with both the micro and macro environment. Your awareness about your environment helps a lot in your GD content, which carries maximum weightage. The content or awareness generally constitutes 40 to 50 percent marks of your GD. Apart from these qualities, communication skills, confidence and the ability to think on ones feet are also very important. Lets go on to how the GD is initiated, conducted and summarized. A group discussion can be categorically divided into three different phases: i. Initiation/ Introduction ii. The actual group discussion iii. Summarization/ Conclusion Initiation Techniques As already stated, initiating a GD is a high profit-high loss strategy. When you initiate a GD, you not only grab the opportunity to speak, you also grab the attention of the examiner and your fellow candidates. If you can make a favourable first impression with your content and communication skills after you initiate a GD, it will help you sail through the discussion. But if you initiate a GD and stammer/ stutter/ quote wrong facts and figures, the damage might be irreparable. There are different techniques to initiate a GD and make a good first impression: i. Quotes ii. Definition iii. Question

iv. Shock statement v. Facts, figures and statistics vi. Short story vii. General statement The Actual Group Discussion; Remember the following things while carrying out the discussionSpeaking is important; do not sit silent. Speak freely. Do not monopolize the conversation or talk too much. Give everyone a chance to speak. Maintain eye contact with everyone in the group. Show active listening skills to impress facilitator. Do not interrupt anyone; let them finish their sentences. Keep the topic on track, and dont go into irrelevant paths. Encourage someone who may be silent or shy, especially ladies. Do not argue with anyone. Do not debate with any particular person while the group looks on. Do not repeat what has been said; try to develop on ideas expressed, or give out new ideas. Clarify anything that you have not understood, and then talk on it. Above all, be brief and succinct. Do not commit grammatical errors in your hurry to speak. Summarisation Techniques Most GDs do not really have conclusions. A conclusion is where the whole group decides in favour or against the topic. But every GD is summarised. You can summarise what the group has discussed in the GD in a nutshell. Keep the following points in mind while summarising a discussion: Avoid raising new points. Avoid stating only your viewpoint. Avoid dwelling only on one aspect of the GD. Keep it brief and concise. It must incorporate all the important points that came out during the GD. If you are asked to summarise a GD, it means the GD has come to an end. Do not add anything more. The common forum for groups to take decisions are meetings, in which the groups gather, discuss, debate, and decide on any issue. It has been found that for teams and groups, nearly 30-40% of their working lives are spent in either arranging meetings, or taking part in meetings, so that decisions on a variety of problems could be taken. The amount of money that any company spends on meetings annually is quite a staggering figure, and you can work out the man-hours spent and the cost incurred quite easily. If good decisions are taken, and the bottom line is met or exceeded, then the money is well spent; if not, then it is so much money down the drain! Maybe some companies have to downsize only because of these bad meetings. 1.15 pm - 1.50 pm The advantages in utilizing groups to take decisions are: Groups have a greater knowledge base, since a lot of persons are involved. More perspectives and a greater number of approaches are available. There is increased participation by a variety of individuals, thereby increasing

member satisfaction. There is a better understanding of the final decision. Some of the disadvantages are: The time required to take the decision is normally more. Social pressure to conform and be politically correct in the peer group may lead to poor decisions. A dominant leader may control the groups decision. On controversial issues, there may be a compromise decision.

STRATEGIES FOR IMPROVING DECISIONS

Considering the fact that group decisions are here to stay, some strategies for improving group decisions have been implemented: Brainstorming 6 to 10 people get together to come up with a creative solution to a problem. The idea is to create an atmosphere of enthusiasm and non-judgement regarding the usefulness of an idea. The rules for this type of strategy are: All criticism is ruled out till the idea generation process is completed. Freewheeling is welcome. The wilder or more radical the idea, the better. Quantity is wanted. The greater the number of ideas, the greater the likelihood of obtaining a superior idea. Combination and improvement are sought. Participants should suggest how others ideas can be turned into better ones, or how 2 or more ideas can be combined and morphed into still another idea. Nominal Group Technique(NGT) The disadvantages of the group process can be minimised by 4 steps Before the meting, each person writes down ideas, options, or solutions privately without discussing them with others. In the meeting, each person presents his ideas in sequence to the group in a roundrobin procedure. There is no discussion, and all ideas are written down. The participants may then ask questions to clarify an idea or proposal. There is still no discussion, no evaluation, and no debate. Each person ranks various proposals privately. The results are tallied to determine the relative support for each idea. The proposal with most tallies is then discussed for possible adoption. The Delphi Technique Developed by the Rand Corporation for group decision making over large distances and widely scattered members. It consists of sequential questionnaires sent to each member, and the members never meet face to face. It is good when it is physically impossible to convene a group meeting. The first questionnaire states the problem and requests potential solutions. These solutions are summarized by the decision coordinator. The summary is returned to the panel in a second questionnaire. Panel members respond again. The process is repeated until consensus is reached and a clear decision emerges. 1.50 pm - 2.15 pm Normally groups take 6 types of decisions: By Lack of Response The ideas are suggested, but no discussion takes place. Whenever any is idea accepted, it is only because others have been discarded due to lack of response.

 By Authority Rule With or without discussion, a decision is taken by the leader. Such a decision is highly time efficient. Whether the decision is good or bad depends on what inputs the leader had, and how the other members take it. By Minority Rule 2 or 3 dominant members force the group to make a decision that they want. A suggestion is provided and quick agreement is forced on it. By Majority Rule By voting or polling members to find out majority viewpoint. It creates winners and losers, and a sore minority. By Consensus A clear alternative appears with the support of most of the members. Even those who oppose feel they have been heard and had a fair chance to influence the outcome of the decision. By Unanimity All the group members agree on the course of action to be taken, with no dissent. Actually, the most basic ingredient in the meeting is YOU. Make meetings more effective and productive by making yourself more effective and productive. How do you do that? By some of the basic actions mentioned below. 1. Experiencing: Experience things and collect data about whats going on through your thoughts, feelings and senses. Be a good receiver and absorb as much as possible. 2. Sharing: Share the data of the meetings with the others, who will also do the same thing. You are a participant observer. Sharing shows that you are willing to relate and co-operate rather than win. 3. Collating: Putting together all the pieces of the data which serve the purposes of the meeting. Attention must be paid to the fact that even small and necessary details should not be overlooked. 4. Applying: Apply knowledge collected from the past to this meeting, and also look to apply the knowledge collected from this meeting to future situations. You thus bridge past, present and future. 5. Evaluating: You evaluate, without prejudice, three aspects. 1) how well is the work proceeding, 2) what is happening to you, and 3) how can things be made better. 6. Experimenting/Innovating: You stretch the limits of your risk taking behaviour by creative combinations of your ideas for efficiency and productivity.

PRESENTATIONS
The process of developing a talk is like preparing for a mountain - trekking program. You must plan ahead, review your goal, and plan for emergencies. When you are fully prepared with the materials you need, open your backpack, and remove between half to one-thirds of its contents. Now you have less weight, more freedom of movement, and it will be easier to recover if you stumble!
Initial Planning Before you begin preparing the presentation, youll need to determine: 1. The type of talk you will be expected to give will this be an informal chat, a seminar discussion, or a more formal presentation? different talks have different purposes; When in doubt, ask for guidance from your

host. 2. The composition of the audience will you be speaking to a general audience or specialists? how many people are expected to attend? is this likely to be a friendly audience? An interactive audience? 3. The time allotted for the talk the longer the talk, the more freedom you will have to explore the topic a short talk needs to be very clear and to address the topic directly is question time included? 4. Expectations for information content is there a specific purpose for having you give a talk? Clarify the expectations beforehand and plan to address them during the presentation. will you be presenting novel concepts to this audience, or building upon their prior knowledge? Either way, make sure you cover the basics clearly, and early in the talk, to avoid loosing the audience. 3.45 pm 4.45 pm Preparation A conversation consists of repetitions and clarifications based on questions and immediate feedback, while a written paper allows a reader to puzzle through its contents as often as necessary. A talk is a one-shot attempt to make a point. . Once you have a general idea of what you want to say, youll have to decide how to say it. It is essential that your talk be well-constructed and tidy, and that your points be presented to the audience both in a logical sequence and unambiguously. All this takes a fair amount of preparation. Start early! Here are a few pointers to get you started: 1. Start preparing far in advance by thinking through what needs to be said. Collect material which may relate to the topic from unusual sources, and sleep on these ideas. The final product will be more fully-developed and interesting. 2. Next, identify the issues you plan to address (brainstorm, then trim back). 3. Arrange these issues in a logical sequence (which may change as you develop the talk). This process is easier if you use index cards to organize your talk, with one idea per card. 4. Retention of information by the audience is reduced as a talk proceeds, so if you do want to make a series of points, organize them from the most to the least important. That way, the audience is more likely to remember the important points later. You may even find that the less important points become irrelevant to the focus of the talk as you practice. 5. Avoid using lists (First ..., Second ...); you may confuse listing systems (First ..., Point B..., and another thing ...), or you may discover later in the talk that youve missed a point entirely, and then youll be forced to backtrack. Both of these problems tend to distract your audience away from the points you are trying to make, and both give the appearance of poor organizational skills. 6. Determine transition elements which will help your audience to follow the link from one issue to the next. These should be logical, and may presented by posing a question. 7. Use short sentences with simple constructions. The concept will be made more clear, and the sentence structure is more similar to conversational styles. 8. Run through the talk once, early. Go back and re-think the sequencing. Discard nonessential elements.

9. Dont assume the audience will be familiar with basic concepts that form the foundation of your talk. Outline these concepts briefly but clearly early in the talk to avoid confusion. 10. Attempt to identify problems or questions the audience may have, and address them in the talk, before the audience has a chance to think of these things themselves. 11. Remember, the shorter the talk, the more difficult it will be to cover the material clearly and completely. Be strict about including only what is essential information for the presentation, and removing all the non-essential tidbits. 12. The most important preparation factor is to REHEARSE! Do so in private at first. Then for a real acid test, videotape yourself and watch the results with a critical eye. Its often a painful and humbling experience, but the results will be worth it. 13.Computer-based presentation programs (PowerPoint, Persuasion, etc.) can be wonderful time-savers. 14. Determine which elements would benefit by being presented with visual aids. Spend time working out the best way to present the material. 15. When in doubt about which presentation medium to use (transparencies, slides, videos, multimedia, etc.), choose the format which is the least complex. Keep in mind that the more technology you use, the more things there will be which can go wrong. These technological difficulties may develop into a gruesome presentation experience, particularly if you are giving the talk in an unfamiliar setting! Outlining The primary purpose of a presentation is to provide information which the audience will then remember at a later date. Detailed referencing of material or extensive review of data wont be remembered - and may put the audience to sleep! Instead of modeling your presentation after formats associated with scientific papers (the intro/methods/results/discussion sequence) or history texts (as a chronology), consider using formats more often associated with mystery novels. This approach allows you to dramatize the logic and insights which lead to successive steps in a more realistic (and interesting) manner, and it will be easier for the audience to become involved in the presentation. A word of caution - dont let your enthusiasm for telling a story obscure the material forming the basis for your presentation! A question at this stage is Is this enough material for the talk?. Actually, youll probably find that you have far too much material. It is important to develop a realistic view of how much material is appropriate, and the ability to be ruthless in eliminating non-essential material. Pre-determining the content in relation to length is always a problem. The magnitude of the task will become more obvious as you begin to practice. Remember that when you make allowances for a new setting and being interrupted by questions, the practice talk will be about 20% faster than the real presentation. Two ways people try to reduce the length of a presentation are to speak more quickly and to reduce the number of words used. Both produce a false economy - the practice talk will fit in your time frame, but the final product wont. In fact, one good strategy is to be very selective about what you need to say, then say only that - and say it clearly with slightly longer pauses between words than normal.
Hints for efficient practice Read through the text before you begin. For the first few tries, and again for the last few, stand in front of a mirror but far enough back so you can see your head and feet. Work at being relaxed.

Practice making eye contact with your imaginary audience, but dont single out one individual (a real person eventually will notice your attention, and end up squirming in their seat). Avoid looking at your notes when you dont need to do so. Watch your reflection in the mirror as you speak, looking for odd and distracting habits. Your words will probably be different each time you practice, but do try to stick to the general outline of your notes. Dont attempt to memorize your text; use your notes only as reference points to keep you on track. Think about the ideas, and your words will follow naturally. Speak slowly and clearly, and use gestures. A tape recorder or videotape are the most useful tools for feedback. Look for variations in speed or tone, or for the dreaded um, the ers, likes and you knows. Again, look for distracting mannerisms - dont pace, twirl your hair, or adjust your clothing. Make sure you are speaking to your audience, not to the floor, ceiling, or projection screen. Dont hide behind the lectern. What you say should be readily understandable by the audience. Pay strict attention to diction; it is essential that you speak clearly and distinctly. If you have a regional or foreign accent you should be careful to speak even more slowly. Check often to be sure that your audience understands and is following what you are saying. It isnt necessary to attempt to eliminate your accent. Listen carefully to the words you use, not to what you think you are saying. Are these the best words for making your point? Are they unambiguous? Avoid using jargon whenever possible. Practice makes perfect You must have heard this clich before, but that doesnt diminish its importance. Practice is the single most important factor contributing to a good presentation. The effects of practice will be apparent. A poorly presented talk reflects upon both you and your attitude towards the material and audience. One problem is that you can waste a tremendous amount of time by practicing all the wrong parts of your talk. First, get an idea of how the talk will flow. After that, seek some outside feedback to make sure you are on the right track. Finally, practice all parts of the talk equally. Running through the talk once or twice isnt enough, particularly if the material is new to you. If the presentation is important, treat it that way. Practice. This can be a big commitment of time, but consider whats riding on a successful job talk.
Last Minute Tasks Having spent all that time preparing the talk itself, there are still a few things you can do at the last minute which will help ensure a successful presentation. Or, if you are the nervous type, help fill time . . . 1. Before the day begins, or last thing the night before, run through your talk once more. Use a mirror or visualize standing in front of an audience as you practice. 2. If possible, take a tour the room youll use for the presentation early in the day. Look for potential problems with line of sight due to furniture, dark spots due to dead overhead lights, intruding sound from ventilation - these all can be fixed with a bit of prior warning and a polite request. 3. If you need specialized equipment, make sure it is available ahead of time - dont spring that information on your host at the last minute. 4. Its your show, so ask for help with the equipment if you need it; its better to ask for help than fumble around during the presentation. Determine who will be controlling

equipment for you. 5. Computer presentations introduce a whole host of potential issues - here are a few to consider: Is the host software compatible with your presentation? Are the fonts, bullets, colors, etc. the same? Is there a sound card in the host computer? Is the sound system operational - but not too painfully loud? Back-up your presentation before you leave using an alternate medium, then bring it with you separately from the one you plan to use (e.g., packed in a different suitcase), or e-mail it to yourself as an attachment - you may be able to access it from your destination if needed. Alternatively, e-mail it to your host and ask that her or she download the file and test it on the computer youll be using - BEFORE you depart for the trip! Did you include all the required files and resources for your presentation? Keep in mind that failures of technology can be devastating. 6. Irrespective of what your presentation medium might be, letting your presentation slides, disk, CD, etc. out of your sight before the presentation begins can lead to disaster. 7. If the room is large, or your voice small, use a microphone. Try it out before the audience arrives (blowing into the mike or counting 1-2-3 after they have arrived is tacky, so dont do it). 8. Check to see that accessories are present; chalk, eraser, markers, and especially a pointer. If it is a laser pointer, does it have fresh batteries loaded? Keep in mind that green wavelength lasers DEVOUR batteries! 9. Avoid standing behind a lectern or desk during the presentation. Stand to one side of the projection screen or blackboard, and closer to the audience if possible. 10. Moderate movement and hand gestures are OK, but avoid pacing and flapping. 11. Dont be afraid to insist on a few minutes to yourself prior to the talk; 15 to 30 minutes is standard. If you have an itinerary, check to see that youve had time allotted for preparation. 12. Dont wait until the very last minute to make that run to the bathroom, and remember to check carefully your appearance - including zippers, buttons and other closures before you reappear.
The Moment of Truth 1. State your objectives at start of your talk, then restate them again at the end of the talk. In between, discuss how your material relates to these objectives. 2. Unless you intentionally have had experience as a seasoned humorist, avoid making jokes. The results can be disappointing, and may suggest an unprofessional attitude. 3. Choose a natural, moderate rate of speech and use automatic, moderate gestures. 4. Monitor your behavior, and avoid habitual behaviors (pacing, fumbling change in pocket, twirling hair). 5. Laser pointers are wonderful pointing devices, but remember not to point them at the audience. They are best used by flashing the pointer on and off, so that the place you are indicating is illuminated briefly. Dont swirl the laser around and around one place on the projection screen, or sweep it from place to place across the screen. This is very distracting for the audience, and they will end up watching the pointer and not listening to what you are saying.

6. Likewise, and for the same reasons, avoid using the cursor as in pointer in your computer presentations. 7. Converse with your audience. Involve them in the process of the presentation by posing questions and making eye contact. Be patient if you ask a question - answers sometimes take time to formulate. 8. Keep an eye on your time, and dont run over your limit. Ever. 9. Be prepared for interruptions (late arrivals, cell phones or pagers, burned out projector bulbs, fire drills, etc.). 10. If you must turn down the room lights, dont turn them off entirely. Dont leave the lights down any longer than necessary - remember to turn them back up! Of course, the snores from the sleeping audience may remind you to turn the lights back on if youve forgotten. 11. Dont apologize for any aspect of your presentation. This should be your very best effort; if you have to apologize, you havent done your job properly. 12. Strive to have a prepared and memorable summary. If nothing else, the take home message is what the audience will remember after you leave. Handling Questions. Your presentation doesnt end once youve finished what you have to say. The question period often is the part of the talk which influences the audience the most. After all, youve had time to practice the rest of the talk. This is the part of the presentation where your ability to interact with the audience will be evaluated. Since you cant always predict what youll be asked, how can you prepare for the questioning? Here are a few guidelines: 1. Always repeat each question so the entire audience knows what youve been asked. 2. Before you answer, take a moment to reflect on the question. By not rushing to give an answer, you show a degree of respect for the questioner, and you give yourself time to be sure you are answering the question that actually was asked. If you are unsure, restate the question or ask for a clarification. 3. Above all, wait for the questioner to finish asking the question before you begin your answer! The only exception is when it becomes necessary to break in on a vague, rambling question; this is your show, and you have only a limited time to make your presentation. It is essential, however, that you break in tactfully. Say something like So, are you asking ....? This will focus the question and give you a place to begin an answer. Remember that your ability to interact with an audience also is being evaluated. 4. If a question is asked during the talk, and it will clarify an ambiguity, answer it immediately. 5. Postpone questions aimed at resolving specific problems (or arcane knowledge) until the end of the talk, or private discussion. This is particularly important if the answer will distract either you or the audience away from the flow of your presentation. 6. Avoid prolonged discussions with one person, extended answers, and especially arguments. 7. If you cant answer a question, just say so. Dont apologize. You then may: Offer to research an answer, then get back to the questioner later. Suggest resources which would help the questioner to address the question themselves.