The Power

&

Problem
of

Forgiveness

Trevor Chandler
 Sovereign World
Contents
Introduction 5

Chapter 1 Foundation of Forgiveness 7

Chapter 2 What Happened in Old Testament? 36

Chapter 3 Forgiveness and Judgment 61

Chapter 4 Forgiveness in New Testament 93

Chapter 5 Sowing and Reaping 124

Chapter 6 What is Happening? 152

Chapter 7 How to Forgive - 190

 Dedication

This book is dedicated to all those who long to be

free from the burden of unforgiveness, and although
they have wrestled with the problem, have been
unable to find a practical answer to genuinely
forgiving from the heart.

Trevor Chandler
 Introduction
I have always been amazed and thrilled by the grace
of God, His mercy, forgiveness and pardon. I have
not fully understood how God would be so
beneficent in spite of man’s sin and constant failure,
but I have accepted His wonderful provisions with a
grateful heart.
Some people find it hard to accept that God could so
freely forgive sin and failure, and so they remain
with a sense of guilt and condemnation. Or, if they
do accept that God has forgiven them, they find it
hard to forgive themselves. Because of this, people
live without the joy and peace that they should have.
Others live a life of self pleasing and indulgence
with the idea that they need only ask God to forgive
them and He will immediately do so, and the
consequences of any violation or sin will be
cancelled.
It has been my conviction for several years that
many of our beliefs and concepts about forgiveness
have been inadequate and faulty, and that people
have treated the matter of forgiveness either too
lightly or considered that the implications of
forgiveness were beyond their capacity to meet.
My experience has shown that the majority of
people can accept God’s forgiveness of them, but
they lack the knowledge and understanding to
genuinely forgive others who have wronged or hurt
them. They know that Jesus said that if we do not
forgive others God will not forgive us, but this
knowledge, rather than solving the problem,
increases their burden of guilt.
This book is an endeavor to throw light upon the
problems that many people have with understanding
and implementing forgiveness. When we do
understand how to forgive we will be in a position
to receive the positive benefits which come as a
result of forgiving others as God has forgiven us.
Trevor Chandler
 Chapter 1
The Foundation of Forgiveness

We had talked for about twenty minutes. Her story

was one of heartbreak and despair: a young wife and
mother suddenly deserted by her husband. There
was a look of hopelessness on her face! She said,
“Are you telling me that I must forgive a man who
walked out on our child and me to be with another
woman? How can I do that? Do you know what it
means to watch the last cent every week and cry
yourself to sleep because of loneliness?”

Why This Subject?

This experience and many others which have come
from counseling people over the years, have made
me aware of the deep problems in the lives of so
many men and women which demand the exercise
of forgiveness. There have been hurts and wounds
so deep, that it seems almost impossible for them to
forgive; but I am also aware that there is, through
the ability to forgive, a tremendous benefit for good
in a person’s life. A lack of forgiveness, however,
will bring much that is harmful spiritually, mentally
and physically. People have lost their reality of God,
are emotionally and mentally in turmoil and
physically sick, because of bitterness that comes as
a result of unforgiveness.

7
 There is, through the ability to forgive,
a tremendous benefit for good
in a person’s life.

Our lives are interwoven with those of others and

we are involved in interpersonal relationships every
day, and as a result, many situations which give rise
to misunderstanding or offence occur. It is essential
that we understand fully what is involved in the
subject of forgiveness.
This book has been titled The Power and Problem
of Forgiveness because there is great power for
good in our lives if we can genuinely forgive, but
there is a great problem in being able to do it! It
would be easy to give a list of scriptures based on
what the Bible says about forgiveness, but that
would not guarantee an answer to our problem. We
can know what is right but not know how to do it. I
want to unfold this subject step-by-step to the point
that we know exactly what forgiveness is, and also
how to forgive.

There is a great power for good in our lives

if we can genuinely forgive, but there is a
problem in being able to do it!

Let me refer to two brief passages of scripture. The

first is in the Old Testament:
Seek the Lord while he may be
found; call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake his way and
the evil man his thoughts.

8
 Let him turn to the Lord, and he will
have mercy on him, and to our God,
for he will freely pardon. (Isaiah
55:6–7)
The second says:
This, then, is how you should pray:
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be
your name, your kingdom come,
your will be done on earth as it is in
heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts, as we also
have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but
deliver us from the evil one.
For if you forgive men when they sin
against you, your heavenly Father
will also forgive you. But if you do
not forgive men their sins, your
Father will not forgive your sins.”
(Matthew 6:9–15)
The latter part of this scripture, which deals with the
effect that our forgiving others has upon God’s
forgiveness of us, is particularly challenging and is
an important aspect of our studies. We will,
however, deal with this in detail in a later chapter.

9
Three Vital Words
We need to lay a foundation by examining three
words that are essential to our understanding of this
topic. The words are:
Mercy Forgiveness Pardon

Jesus said quite clearly that we were to forgive one

another. He did not qualify the particular cause. He
did not say, “If it is a small hurt, then forgive.” He
did not say, “If it is a large hurt, it is different.” He
made a plain statement and told us to forgive one
another.
Quoting scripture is not difficult; neither is giving
lip service to a truth. But when we have been hurt
and wounded by the action of another, we can know
that we should forgive, and yet feel totally unable to
do it.
We all find that the actions of other people create
some of the greatest difficulties with which we have
to contend. No man lives unto himself What others
say and do has a bearing upon our lives almost
every day. In the course of our relationships with
people, many things happen to us: actions and
words that are unkind, inconsiderate and hurtful. We
may experience lies told about us, betrayal by
friends and other injustices. Reactions may occur
and ill-will develops within us.

When we have been hurt and wounded

by the action of another, we can know
that we should forgive, and yet feel
totally unable to do it.
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Let me ask a question, not as a preacher or Bible
teacher but as a man who knows what it is to go
through this kind of experience. “How can a person
genuinely and honestly forgive when confronted by
problems of this kind?” it is easy to say we should
forgive, but it is not so easy to do it!
I was conducting a series of special meetings in
New Zealand, and one night was speaking about the
problem of inferiority and a negative self-image. At
the end of the sermon I gave opportunity for any
suffering from such problems to come forward for
prayer. A number of people responded, and the first
person to whom I went was a teen-age Maori girl. I
did not ask any details about her problem, but as I
placed my hand on her head, I found myself praying
in an unusual way. I said, “You are a daughter of
God! You are a child of the King!”
I repeated these statements several times, much to
my own amazement, and the tears began to trickle
down the girl’s face. It was obvious that the Holy
Spirit was doing a work within her. I moved on,
praying for others, and soon the meeting closed.
Prior to the service the next night, the young woman
concerned approached me with an amazing
testimony which she later shared in part with the
whole congregation. This is what she said:
When I was several years younger, my older
sister had been extremely jealous and hateful.
On one occasion my sister said, “I cannot
bear you to touch me! Don’t ever put your
hand on me. Even if I am dead, do not touch
me, or I will sit up and spit in your face!”
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 As a result of this experience I had a sense of
worthlessness and a deep inner hurt. Later I
committed my life to Christ and was baptized
with the Holy Spirit, but the feelings of
insignificance and inferiority remained. Last
night for the first time in my life, I was able to
recognize that I was important to God, and I
really was his daughter. I have been set free,
and at last have been able to forgive my
sister.
If we know what the Bible says, then two things are
likely to happen. The first is that we can become
make-believers because we cannot do what the
Bible says but pretend to do it. Jesus said, “Forgive
one another.” We are hurt! We are wounded!
Because we are hurt it seems impossible to forgive,
but because the Bible says we should, we pretend
that we have obeyed this command, but bitterness
remains within and we have become make-
believers. The second thing that can happen is that
we come under condemnation, because we are
trying to be honest and know we should forgive, yet
find ourselves failing to do it and so have a sense of
guilt as a result.
The subject of genuine forgiveness has many
sincere Christians in confusion. In the letter to the
Hebrew Church we read:
See to it that no one misses the
grace of God and that no bitter root
grows up to cause trouble and defile
many. (Hebrews 12:15)

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Many people are suffering because of bitterness
which has entered their lives through unforgiveness.
Forgiveness can lift burdens and restore friendships.
It can bring peace and joy to a person’s life whereas
unforgiveness can cause bitterness, hatred, discord,
turmoil and sickness. The greatest percentage of the
problems that we go through are our own fault! We
are reaping what we have sown.

The subject of genuine forgiveness has

many sincere Christians in confusion.

The principle of sowing and reaping is related to

forgiveness, and although we are enjoying
fellowship with God, we may still be reaping from
the seeds of sin and disobedience we have sown.
One of the truths we will cover in some detail later
is that it is possible to be forgiven, to enjoy
fellowship with God, and yet still be under the
discipline of God! We need to understand the
subject of forgiveness in all its aspects, so that we
may know how to genuinely obey the Word of God,
and find a place of freedom as we live our daily
lives.
Forgiveness is not a simple subject! It has not been
fully understood by many people and only a genuine
knowledge of what it is, how it operates, and how
God sees it, will enable us to appropriate the
benefits of true forgiveness. Time must be taken to
lay sound foundations to bring us to a clear
understanding of the subject and to allow the
principles to be absorbed and established in our
lives.

13
The essential starting point is to understand
the meaning of the three words
which have been mentioned:
mercy, forgiveness, and pardon.

These words are often thought of synonymously,

and of course they can be related, but they are
essentially different. In considering these terms in a
spiritual sense I want to define each one.
The essential starting point is to understand the
meaning of the three words which have been
mentioned; mercy, forgiveness and pardon.

What Do They Mean?

Mercy is the exercise of less severity than one
deserves, or it is the granting of kindness and favor
beyond what one may rightly claim.
Forgiveness dismisses resentment or displeasure
from the heart of the one offended, and in particular
it has reference to feelings and fellowship.
Pardon completely remits the outward penalty
which the offender deserves. It is the act of a
superior toward an inferior implying the right to
punish. It deals with the consequences of an action.
Pardon is an executive responsibility which most
people do not have the right to exercise.
These three attributes of mercy, forgiveness, and
pardon are included in the character of God. The
Bible says He is a God who shows mercy, who
forgives, and who will abundantly pardon.
Let me confirm this from scripture:
14
 The Lord, the compassionate
(merciful) and gracious God, slow to
anger, abounding in love and
faithfulness. (Exodus 34:6)
Let him turn to the Lord, and he will
have mercy on him, and to our God
for he will freely pardon. (Isaiah
55:7)
Mercy, forgiveness, and pardon are all part of the
nature and attributes of God, but we must also
understand that God’s character includes right-
eousness, truth, and justice.
There are conditions and responses which God
requires when we are dealing with these matters of
mercy, forgiveness, and pardon. Perhaps it is correct
to say that there is nothing that we receive from God
that is unconditional apart from His grace. God
showers His grace upon people, but from that point
on, all the dealings of God towards us are in
response to actions or attitudes taken or made by us.
Mercy and forgiveness on their own, without the
inclusion of pardon, do not automatically remove all
the consequences of sin and failure.
I know that some people reason like this: “If God
has been merciful to me, the problem is over.” That
is not correct! They think, “If God has forgiven me,
then the record is wiped clean.” That is not correct!
There would have to be the inclusion of pardon
before a complete result was achieved so we can
have a genuine operation of mercy and forgiveness
and yet not have the removal of the consequences of
certain sins.
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 Mercy and forgiveness on their own,
without the inclusion of pardon, do not
automatically remove all the consequences
of sin and failure.

All of these attributes of God’s mercy, forgiveness

and pardon must be taken into consideration, not
just some of them. Our actions are going to bring
forth certain results, so we need to know how God
in His total character will respond to what we have
done, and even to our request for forgiveness.

Why Should I Let Him Off?

Perhaps we have been unwilling to be merciful and
forgiving because we think that a serious repeated
offender will be let off, and so we will allow some
injustice to continue, if someone has repeatedly
offended us, we might think to ourselves, if I do not
take some positive action against him, but am
merciful and forgiving, then he will go on doing
this. I cannot forgive him because this would mean
excusing his action.
We must realize that this is a wrong attitude,
because we do not have the right to take over the
executive responsibilities that go with pardon.
Mercy and forgiveness do not automatically include
pardon so it is not our responsibility to take punitive
action against an offender. That is God’s
responsibility! A person can receive mercy and
forgiveness by God but still suffer effects in his life
because he has not met the requirements for full
pardon. One of the vital requirements to receive

16
forgiveness and pardon from God is that we forgive
those who have wrongfully treated us. If we don’t
forgive, we can continue to suffer in our own
relationship with God.
Because an understanding of these principles is at
the heart of this book let me make clear that
showing mercy and granting forgiveness are our
responsibilities when problems arise with other
people, but pardoning is God’s responsibility.
A young man gave me this testimony:

At the age of nine years I sat in the back of a

bus waving goodbye to my mother and
brother. I loved my brother deeply, but there
was a deep hatred within me towards my
mother who had arranged for me to live with
foster parents. I decided as I sat in that bus
that I would never forgive her, no matter what
happened!
As I grew older my hatred grew! I did not
have what the other boys around me had. I
hated my foster parents because they had been
party to my being separated from my brother.
I became a rebel in society. I was taken to
different psychiatrists and they would talk to
me about my attitude toward my mother. I had
no power to change my hatred and those
interviews seemed to increase my bitter
feelings.
When I was sixteen years of age my brother
came to visit me. From him I obtained my
mother’s address and wrote several letters
17
 asking her to visit me. I had a deep motive of
hatred in writing to her. When she came I
said, “I hate you and will never forgive you!”
Nine years later I accepted Jesus Christ as my
Savior and was baptized in water and with the
Holy Spirit. It was a revolutionary experience,
but my Christian life fluctuated and there
were days of joy and victory, but also days of
defeat and despair. Something was wrong.
One night I listened to a visiting preacher
speaking on the subject of forgiveness. He
said, “We must put away all hatred, we must
forgive our mother if necessary.” I knew that
the Holy Spirit was speaking to me! I felt that
the Lord was saying, “I will not open your life
completely to me until you learn to forgive.”
I determined to put things right and traveled
over a thousand miles to the city where my
mother lived to tell her that I forgave her and
loved her. I was released from what seemed
like chains binding me, and found a new
purpose and consistency in my Christian life.
Today, the man who gave this testimony is an elder
in one of the churches belonging to the group of
churches with which I am associated. It has been a
blessing for me to see the continued growth in his
life, his cheerful Christian zeal, and to see the way
that he and his wife have established a fine family.

One of the vital requirements to receive

forgiveness and pardon from God is that

18
 we forgive those who have wrongfully
treated us.

What I am saying in this chapter may be a new

concept to some Christians, but we must face the
reality of these issues and extend mercy and
forgiveness to others and leave the pardoning to
God, otherwise the dealings of God can continue in
a judgmental way upon our lives although God has
been merciful and has forgiven us.
If we do not understand what happens when God
forgives us, then we will be confused. People have
said to me, “I know my heart is right with God. I
have asked Him to forgive me, but I do not
understand why these problems are continuing in
my life.”
Problems can arise for various reasons. One of the
reasons is because we are still reaping what we have
sown, and another is because God is allowing us to
go through His dealings for the development of our
lives. There are other reasons as well, so we must
learn to determine whether we are violating some
principle of God or whether He is disciplining us for
our own good and development. In a later chapter
we will discover how we can know the difference
between being under the judgmental hand of God
although we have been forgiven, and going through
the dealings of God to refine our character for His
purpose.

19
 The dealings of God can continue in a
judgmental way upon our lives, although
God has been merciful and has forgiven us.

Understanding Mercy
I want to deal now with the subject of mercy,
because that is where the foundation of forgiveness
begins. We need to realize first of all that God’s
mercy is subject to certain limitations. There is a
general mercy of God that applies to all mankind.
The Bible says:
He causes His sun to rise on the evil
and the good, and sends rain on the
righteous and the unrighteous.
(Matthew 5:45)
Have you ever wondered why a godly man and an
ungodly man both have their crops growing and
prospering in the same way? God declares that He
gives a general mercy to all His creation. The sun
shines on the righteous and also on the unrighteous.
The rain falls on the good and also on the evil.
Everybody in this world is in some measure under
the merciful dealings of God. The psalmist says:
The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he
has made. (Psalm 145:9)
The Bible does not say that He has compassion or
mercy on some of His creation but on all of it.
Irrespective of our situation, we are all receiving
more than we justly deserve. God, however, has
special blessings for those who are obedient to what
He says and He prospers those who give according

20
to His word. In the Book of Malachi God says that if
we bring our tithes into the storehouse He will open
the windows of heaven and pour out such a blessing
that there will not be room enough to receive it.
There are special blessings, but there are also
general blessings, and all people, even though they
may be atheistic or blaspheme the Name of God
come under the merciful provisions of a loving God.
I want to call this “temporal mercy”. Temporal
means “to be confined to this natural life or this
earth”, so there is the mercy of God that applies to
us while we are living in this world. God bestows
this mercy so that a person may respond to Him. A
person can look around and see the beauty of the
world, the provisions that have been made, and in so
doing recognize that the mercy of God is extended
towards him, but this mercy does not extend beyond
the person’s earthly life. We have a responsibility to
recognize God from his creation and His gracious-
ness to us. The apostle Paul in writing to the church
in Rome said:
For since the creation of the world
God’s invisible qualities – his eternal
power and divine nature – have been
clearly seen, being understood from
what has been made, so that men
are without excuse. (Romans 1:20)
We read often of the miraculous ways that God has
intervened to save committed Christians from death
or injury. I have heard testimonies and read the
stories of men and women wonderfully protected in
air crashes, road accidents, or shipwrecks,

21
experiences that obviously were due to divine
protection.

God declares that He gives

a general mercy to all His creation.

Hebrews chapter 11 tells of the men and women of

faith who were miraculously helped by God, but it
also tells of others who suffered torture,
imprisonment, and death. Yet the scripture says that
all of these, those who experienced miracles of
deliverance and those who did not, were
commended for their faith! God is merciful, but He
has a plan that He is working out for our lives and
we cannot guarantee the degree of mercy or
deliverance that will be provided in any situation of
life. What God does unconditionally promise,
however, is the grace to cope with whatever
circumstance may arise.
I was in business as an Insurance Loss Adjuster and
Assessor at the time of a disastrous flood which
occurred in the city and surrounding areas of
Brisbane, in 1974. It would be wonderful to report
that no Christians suffered in that cyclone and flood,
but that would not be a true account. In that disaster
some buildings were completely submerged, homes
and business premises were destroyed, millions of
dollars of damage was done, and lives were lost.
Homes and businesses belonging to both Christians
and non-Christians were affected. I saw Christians
weep as they reported how their precious
possessions were carried out of their homes a
sodden mess, but I did not doubt God’s ability to

22
supernaturally sustain them in their sorrow and loss
and later to make other provisions to re-establish
them in life.
We cannot, however, guarantee that protection and
good will always be the lot of the Christian, while
the non-Christian suffers. We need to understand
that in addition to the temporal mercy of God there
is also an eternal mercy. Eternal mercy is subject to
right responses on our part to God. The Psalms
record this statement:
“But from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord’s love is with those who
fear him, and his righteousness with
their children’s children – with those
who keep his covenant and
remember to obey his precepts.”
(Psalm 103:17–18)
There is a temporal mercy of God available to all,
but there is an everlasting mercy as well. This
everlasting mercy is for those who fear him ... who
keep his covenant and remember to obey his
precepts. A person may enjoy the mercy of God in
this natural life, but we can also make sure that we
enjoy the mercy of God from everlasting to
everlasting!

We cannot, however, guarantee

that protection and good will always be the
lot of the Christian, while the non-Christian
suffers!

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Remember very carefully that mercy is not the same
as forgiveness. Mercy is the exercise of less severity
than a person deserves, or it is the granting of a
kindness beyond what one may claim. Men and
women are commanded to be merciful and to be
forgiving. They are not commanded to pardon. In a
spiritual sense, and in most of the events of life, we
do not have the right or privilege to pardon. It is
God, not men and women, who deals with
consequences!
In the different societies and nations in which we
live there are laws. To some people there may be
given the responsibility of exercising those laws
with some degree of discretion. By way of an
example, if we break the law and a policeman sees
us, he has no right to excuse our offence. His
responsibility is to enforce the law of the land. If,
because of that offence we are later taken to court,
the magistrate or judge may be able to exercise an
authority that the policeman did not have, and he
might say, “I have considered all the circumstances,
and in this instance I intend to pardon you.” Or it
may be that the right of pardon rests only with a
person such as a governor, president, king or queen.
There are certain executive positions that carry with
them the power and right to pardon, but we as
ordinary people have been commanded by God to
be merciful and forgiving, irrespective of what may
happen in regard to pardon.
I want to emphasize that being merciful does not
mean being soft or easy going. It does not mean
pretending that something has not happened. I know
that such an attitude would suit a world that wants to
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destroy absolutes and be ruled by situation ethics. It
is easy to say, “I’m not hurting others so I can
please myself” People say, “Moral values are
different now. We don’t have to accept the
standards of our parents.” Someone else says, “It’s a
good cause so the end justifies the means!”
The concept of situation ethics can be summed up
by the words of what became a popular song, “It
can’t be wrong when it feels so right.” The issue of
de facto relationships is a case in point. The Bible
teaching in both Old and New Testaments very
clearly shows that such relationships are sinful.
Those involved in these relationships, however, will
always be ready to justify them. “I needed a roof
over my head,” “This was my only chance for
happiness,” “We love each other,” “A piece of paper
does not make our love any more real.”
The same reasoning can be seen in the arguments
for abortion. “Let a woman have the power to
decide what to do about her own body,” the
feminists and those who demand freedom of choice
cry as they wave their banners. The Bible tells us
plainly that our bodies are not our own, but God’s,
and the focus is not the woman’s own. On the
grounds of nervous tension, financial stress, or
simply “I don’t want to have another baby,”
abortion is chosen and the seriousness of the
destruction of the unborn child is justified by these
reasons. The other alternatives such as adoption or
even better, trusting God, are not seriously
considered. I do not seek to minimize the problems
that arise from unwanted pregnancies but we must

25
learn that we cannot violate the Word of God
without consequences being involved.
Situation ethics are applied in everyday life by
people who take advantage of a telephone
breakdown to make free long distance calls, who
keep extra change given by mistake in some shop,
who take pencils, erasers, rulers and stationery from
their places of employment. “It’s all right,” they say,
“the telephone company/the government/the boss
can afford it, and I can’t.” All of these are examples
of flagrant disregard for God’s law justified, albeit
poorly, by the need of a person at that time.
Recently I found amongst my papers a set of
duplicated notes on the subject “A Basis for
Morality.” The author is unknown so I am unable to
give an acknowledgment, but part of the article is
relevant to what is presented here so I quote:
Even though all have not succumbed
to the Permissive Society, we must
all confess that we are surrounded
by it and sometimes, perhaps, we
are influenced by its pragmatism.
Pragmatism means broadly “if what I
do makes me happy then it is right.”
In other words, morality is made
subjective to experience.
To bolster the pragmatic approach,
in the words of one psychologist, it is
necessary to “damn the absolutes.”
And where and what are the
absolutes? They are the final
statements of society on moral
26
 behavior chiefly written into the laws
of the land.
These laws of western society find
their roots in the Ten
Commandments. Hence the final
attack on the absolutes must be on
the Bible itself. This attack looked
like being successful up to midway
into this century. However, since
that time a remarkable event has
taken place. God sent the
Charismatic Renewal which, as well
as being a subjective spiritual
experience, has for its basis the
objective truths and absolutes of the
Word of God.
Modern society may well yet turn to
the Church for guidance in moral
matters when it finds that its idol of
permissiveness is an idol with clay
feet.
God is merciful, but mercy does not mean a docile
agreement with what men and women want to do.
Mercy is not being soft. Far from it!

Mercy and Truth

When studying the scriptures relating to mercy, I
found that the word most associated with mercy was
truth. Mercy and truth! We cannot have genuine
mercy without the operation of truth! The scripture
makes this declaration:

27
 By mercy and truth iniquity is
purged. (Proverbs 16:6 KJV)
Iniquity is not purged by mercy alone; it is purged
by the operation of both mercy and truth together.
We are mistaken if we think of mercy at the expense
of truth or law.
True mercy, however, involves a sense of pity and
concern, and an action to relieve the suffering. If we
merely look with sympathy at some situation, then
that is not mercy. Mercy must do something in a
practical and tangible way to meet the need. There
have been occasions when I have felt sympathetic
about a situation but I have done nothing about it. I
have not shown mercy; I have been sympathetic.
I have looked at pictures of starving children and
read appeals for help. I have read stories of disaster
and famine and felt a desperation at the plight of the
people. I have read about hardship, persecution, and
imprisonment of Christians in Communist-
dominated countries. There was a genuine sense of
sympathy, but only when I took some action, either
in giving or praying, was there an operation of
mercy.

We are mistaken if we think of mercy

at the expense of truth or law.

A clear illustration of mercy is found in the parable

which Jesus told of the Good Samaritan. A Jewish
traveler was attacked by thieves and robbers and
was left lying on the side of the road bleeding and
bruised. Two people, one a priest and the other a

28
Levite, went by and passed on. They looked at the
wounded and needy man but took no action. Then
the Samaritan came. The Samaritan did not have
any obligation to the wounded Jew. He was of a
different race of people. Samaritans were despised
by the Jews, but this Samaritan went to the aid of
the injured traveler and began to bind up his
wounds. He helped the man and took him to an inn
and paid the bill for the injured man’s
accommodation. The Samaritan said to the inn-
keeper, “Look after him and if it costs any more I
will pay it when I return” (Luke 10:35).
The injured man had no legal claim on the
Samaritan. This Jew had no rights that he could
demand, but the Samaritan out of mercy towards
him reached out and gave him something that he
could not legally claim. That is an example of
genuine mercy: going beyond what a person has a
legal right to expect. Let me give another
illustration, this time from my own experience.
The girl was neither attractive nor particularly like-
able. She had been rebellious in her home and gone
her own way. Her mother was a dedicated Christian
but in spite of a good family example, the daughter
turned to drugs, alcohol, and tobacco and finally
was admitted to a mental hospital for treatment. On
her discharge from the hospital, she became an
infrequent attendee at the church where I was the
pastor, but there was little about the girl to evoke
sympathy as her selfish attitude was still very
evident.

29
Her sister was to be the bridesmaid at a wedding and
an invitation to attend the reception was given to the
family. The girl, because of lack of work, had little
money, and the mother lived on a “bread line”
budget. The wedding invitation posed a problem as
the girl did not have suitable clothing to wear. One
of the women in the church took the girl into the
city and purchased for her a complete outfit of
clothing. It was a spontaneous act of love and
generosity when no duty or responsibility rested
upon the giver.

Mercy and Judgment

Mercy does not, however, eradicate all judgment.
Another key parable of Jesus that relates to this
topic is found in Matthew’s Gospel. This story is
known as The Parable of the Unjust or Unmerciful
Servant. The parable tells of a servant who owed his
master a large amount of money. He was called
before the master to give an account of his debt. The
Bible record gives this account:
Since he was not able to pay, the
master ordered that he and his wife
and his children and all that he had
be sold to repay the debt. The
servant fell on his knees before him.
“Be patient with me,” he begged,
“and I will pay back every thing.”
(Matthew 18:25–26)
Will you note that the servant did not ask for
forgiveness of the debt; he did not ask for pardon
from the debt; he asked for mercy! What he asked

30
for was an extension of time to meet the amount that
was owed. The master would have been merciful
had he done just that. He would have been going
beyond what was his legal right to demand.

Mercy does not, however,

eradicate all judgment.

In this particular parable, however, the master did

not stop with an expression of mercy but he went on
to forgive the man, and also to pardon him of the
total debt. We read:
The servant’s master took pity on
him, cancelled the debt and let him
go. (Matthew 18:27)
This parable shows the operation of mercy,
forgiveness, and pardon, although the servant asked
only for mercy.
The servant who had received this undeserved
provision then went out and laid hold of a fellow
servant who owed him a small debt, and demanded
immediate payment. The Bible tells that the second
servant asked for mercy and said, “Give me time to
pay” (Matthew 18:29). The first servant denied the
request for mercy, the very thing that had been
given to him, and he had the second servant thrown
into prison. When the master was told of what had
happened he called the first servant and rebuked him
and said:
“I cancelled all that debt of yours
because you begged me to.
Shouldn’t you have had mercy on
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 your fellow servant just as I had on
you?”(Matthew 18:32–33)
The master then revoked the pardon, forgiveness,
and mercy that he had previously extended to the
first servant. Let me emphasize, that if we are going
to understand how to forgive we must first learn to
be merciful, because forgiveness is a step beyond
mercy. If we do not learn to be merciful, we will
never be forgiving! Mercy comes first, then
forgiveness follows.
We must recognize that if we will not extend mercy
to others, the mercy that has been extended to us
may be rescinded. Every believer in the Lord Jesus
Christ is required to be merciful. It is the foundation
stone of forgiveness. If we do not learn to be
merciful then it is certain that we will never be able
to forgive from the heart. We may appear to have
some success in forgiving a person with whom we
have had a dispute and think that we have won the
battle to forgive, but some conflict with that person
will again arise, and the old hurt will be felt once
more.

If we are going to understand how to

forgive, we must first learn to be merciful.

We must begin where God begins, and that is at the

place of mercy. None of us has a right to demand his
“pound of flesh”. Every one of us is obliged by
God’s Word to extend some degree of mercy
according to the situation that might apply.

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No Retribution
Jesus, in his teaching, completely did away with the
right of equal retribution. It is not a matter of saying,
“You did that to me, I will do the same to you”.
Jesus said:
You have heard that it was said,
“Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. But
I tell you, do not resist an evil
person. If someone strikes you on
the right cheek, turn to him the
other also.
“And if someone wants to sue you
and take your tunic, let him have
your cloak as well.
“If someone forces you to go one
mile, go with him two miles.”
(Matthew 5:38–41)
The Christian does not have the right to demand
exact retribution at the level of what he has
received. If we are to exercise mercy, then we
cannot demand an exact legal penalty, but we must
reach out with some understanding and kindness.
A paraphrase of James 3:1 could be expressed as, be
careful about becoming teachers or leaders. The
more you know of the will and ways of God, the
greater will be your responsibility, If you are a
Christian and have known the Lord for, say, one
week, and commit a particular sin, and if some more
mature Christian should commit the same sin, the
standard of God’s mercy will be different. The new
Christian will receive a higher level of mercy than
33
the experienced Christian, because the mature
person has the benefit of greater knowledge by
which he could judge his own actions.
The Word of God makes clear that the more we
know the greater is our accountability, because
mercy is not measured by the same yardstick. it is
measured by the circumstances, our background,
and our understanding.
Let me give a simple illustration of how we might
apply mercy in a practical way. If you lent someone
$100 on the condition that he would repay by a
particular date, and when that time came, he was not
in a position to pay, what then would be a merciful
thing to do? To genuinely extend mercy, all that you
would need to do would be to say, “I will give you
another week to pay.” If you gave even one extra
day you would have been merciful. It would have
been to a small degree, but there would have been
mercy, because the debt was legally due prior to that
time. Every day given beyond the due date would be
an extension of mercy.
To be merciful does not demand that one forgoes or
reduces the debt. By the mere provision of
additional time one has met the requirements of
mercy. If, however, you said, “Instead of $100, pay
me $90,” you would then have gone beyond mercy
to forgiveness and a measure of pardon. If you said,
“God has blessed me so I want to cancel the debt,”
you would have been merciful, forgiving, and
pardoning.

34
 Mercy is not measured by the same
“yardstick.” It is measured by our
circumstances, our background,
and understanding.

Let us clearly understand the difference in these

terms. It is so important that we recognize these
aspects because God’s mercy does not necessarily
remove His judgments.
The dealings of God can continue in our lives even
when God has been merciful, but, because of His
character, He always reduces the severity of what
we should rightfully receive, so the mercy of God is
the beginning of forgiveness. It may also be the
beginning of pardon, but the provisions of mercy,
forgiveness, and pardon are separate steps, and each
one may require a different response from us in
order to receive them.
God does not require any response from us before
He is merciful. Whenever we call on the Lord we
can expect Him to be merciful, but before He
forgives, and pardons, there may be some responses
that we have to make. We can always approach God
and He will deal with us with less severity than we
deserve, and that is a marvelous truth to know!
Mercy, however, is always linked with truth and
righteousness. God will not violate His Word but
will show compassion, and we will always get more
consideration from Him than that to which we
should be entitled.

35
God has been merciful to us, so let us in turn be
merciful to others. Don’t try to give the same
treatment that you have received. If we give tit for
tat, we have failed at the first step which is to be
merciful. Don’t demand equal satisfaction. That
might make a person feel justified but it will
ultimately destroy him.

The provisions of mercy, forgiveness,

and pardon, are separate steps, and each
one may require a different response
from us in order to receive them.

We have no right to equal retribution if we are going

to be merciful, because it is not our duty to punish.
It is God who judges, punishes, and pardons. Being
merciful is a first step to sincerely forgiving from
the heart.

36
 Chapter 2
What Happened in
The Old Testament?

Let us now examine the subject of forgiveness in the

Old Testament, because we need to follow the
whole pattern of the Word of God in order to fully
understand this subject.

Was It Cruel?
There are people who consider that the Old
Testament reveals a God who is harsh and cruel, but
much of this thinking is due to misunderstanding.
The scribes and Pharisees in the time of Jesus taught
“You shall love your neighbor and hate your
enemy,” but we could search the pages of the Old
Testament and not find such a statement because the
Old Testament does not say it! God has always
shown justice and righteousness. The scribes and
Pharisees often put interpretations on the Word of
God to suit themselves. The definite judgments that
are set out in the Book of Exodus, particularly in
chapter 21, place a limit on revenge that was so
common at that time. The laws of God were not
only to punish for a deliberate offence but also to
limit revenge. They were to establish mercy and true
justice.
In primitive times an assault on one member of a
particular tribe could cause a feud to break out and
37
many people would die as a result. The law of God
laid down that only the person who committed the
offence could be punished, and his punishment was
to be no more than the equivalent of the offence
committed. There was a clear command in this
regard:
But if there is serious injury, you are
to take life for life, eye for eye, tooth
for tooth, hand for hand, foot for
foot, burn for burn, wound for
wound. (Exodus 21:23-25)
This was not a demand that such retribution should
be exacted, but it was a limit on the demands that
could be made by the offended party. A private
individual was not allowed to seek personal
revenge, but the law did provide a basis for an
appointed judge to assess the penalty and the
appropriate punishment for the offence. In other
words the punishment had to be equal to the crime
committed and had to be imposed by an impartial
person or persons.

The laws of God were not only to punish for

deliberate offence but also to limit revenge.

Who said “Hate your Enemy?”

God never said, “Hate your enemy!” This statement
is not part of God’s command. Jesus said:
You have heard that it was said,
“Love your neighbor and hate your
enemy.” But I tell you: Love your

38
 enemies and pray for those who
persecute you, that you may be sons
of your Father in heaven... (Matthew
5:43–44)
Jesus was not altering the law by this statement, but
correcting an error that had resulted from the
teachings of the scribes and Pharisees. When the
scribes and Pharisees used the expression “The
Law” they could be referring to one of four things:
1. The Commandments
2. The first five books of the Bible the
Pentateuch, which to the Jews was the most
important part of scripture.
3. The law and the Prophets. This expression
included the whole of the Old Testament
4. The Oral or Scribal law.
It was the oral “law” that Jesus so often attacked!
This was the supposed law of God made up from the
interpretations of the scribes and Pharisees, and was
not part of God’s direct command. For these
religious leaders everything had to be defined. Take,
for example, the command Remember the sabbath
day by keeping it holy (Exodus 20:8). The scribes
and Pharisees had made up more than 1,500
regulations to define this command! This is why
Jesus said:
“And why do you break the
command of God for the sake of
your tradition? ...

39
 “Thus you nullify the word of God for
the sake of your tradition. You
hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he
prophesied about you, ‘These people
honor me with their lips, but their
hearts are far from me. They
worship me in vain; their teachings
are rules taught by men.’” (Matthew
15:3, 6–9)
It is also important to realize, as we study the
subject of forgiveness, that God never made
provision for a private individual to demand his own
retribution. God did provide for wrong-doers to be
punished, for God is just, but the judgment was
never to be made or the penalty inflicted by the one
who had been wronged. This is a very important
principle to remember when we have been hurt by
the actions or words of another person. Every one of
us has been hurt at some time, but the principle of
God is that none of us has the right to sit in
judgment or inflict the punishment on the one who
has offended us.

God never made provision for a private

individual to demand his own retribution.

The various punishments provided by the law were

not always performed literally, but the injury was
assessed at its monetary value. It was based on the
pain and suffering, loss of time, the indignity that
had been suffered, and these factors are still the
basis of the law of damages and compensation in
modern times. If a person is injured today, then the
40
law does not allow for the same injury to be
inflicted on the assailant, but imposes a penalty
equivalent in value to the injury, and the amount is
paid to the one who has been hurt. The Old
Testament is a book of mercy. We read:
Do not hate your brother in your
heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly
so you will not share in his guilt.
Do not seek revenge or bear a
grudge against one of your people,
but love your neighbor as yourself. I
am the Lord (Leviticus 19:17–18)
In the Book of Proverbs a statement is made that
also contradicts what the scribes and Pharisees said:
If your enemy is hungry, give him
food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him
water to drink. (Proverbs 25:2 1)
So often the religious leaders did not say what the
Law of God said. They gave their own
interpretations. Because God said, “Love your
neighbor” (Leviticus 19:18), they inferred that the
opposite was to apply, and so an enemy was to be
hated. God does say that He hates some particular
things and also the actions of some people, but He
does not say that we are to hate our enemies. It is so
easy to jump to conclusions and then find that our
ideas are not in line with what the Bible actually
says. In the Book of Proverbs we find a record of
seven things that God says He hates:
There are six things that the Lord
hates, seven that are detestable to
41
 him; haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood, a
heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil, a
false witness who pours out lies and
a man who stirs up dissension
among brothers.” (Proverbs 6:16–19)
Nowhere does God say that we are to hate people!

Mercy and Justice

Examination of the various scriptures in the Old
Testament that deal with forgiveness, not only
reveal a God who is merciful, compassionate, and
forgiving, but also a God of justice and
righteousness. True mercy is based on justice! We
must learn to balance these different attributes.
Where there has been an infringement making a
penalty necessary, God does not pretend the offence
did not happen for He is a God of truth and
righteousness. When a wrong has been done then a
just penalty must be imposed.
We do not have enough detail in the Bible to show
us why God commanded certain severe punishments
to be carried out. For example, when the people of
Israel went into the land of Canaan, God
commanded that they were to utterly destroy all the
inhabitants of the land. I understand, from the
reading that I have done, that the evil in the land of
Canaan was great. There were human sacrifices and
every kind of immoral act which was a complete
affront to all of God’s standards. The Bible declares
that “Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”

42
(Genesis 18:25), and we can be sure of this, that we
can trust Him. Even when our natural mind cannot
understand why a particular penalty was imposed,
we know that we are dealing with a just God.

The Old Testament reveals a God who is

merciful, compassionate, and forgiving, but
who is also a God of justice and
righteousness.

God-to-Man Forgiveness
Most of the Old Testament scriptures that deal with
forgiveness are either calls by individuals to God to
forgive their trespasses and sins, or to thank God for
forgiving them. We find, as we examine the
scriptures, that it is generally a man-to-God or a
God-to-man relationship which is involved. God’s
forgiveness is not, however, unconditional!
When people called upon God for forgiveness,
although He was willing to forgive, He laid down
clear conditions. These conditions were always
consistent and involved repentance, confession,
supplication, and often included making offerings or
sacrifices as an atonement for the sin. This was a
type of what was done later by the Lord Jesus
Christ, when He shed His blood on the cross as an
atonement for the sin of all mankind. Jesus was the
Lamb of God who shed His blood as an offering for
sin. However, under the Old Covenant, God
provided a way in which sin could be dealt with
until His final plan for salvation and forgiveness
was fulfilled. So when people in Old Testament

43
times brought an animal as a sacrifice for their sin, it
was an expression of repentance and contriteness of
heart. The disposition of God is always merciful and
forgiving. Forgiveness was readily provided when
the right conditions were met by men and women in
the Old Testament.
I want to emphasize again that forgiveness and
pardon are not the same. Forgiveness restores
fellowship and right relationship with God, without
necessarily removing the temporal consequences of
a particular sin. We may be forgiven by God,
restored to fellowship with Him, and yet for some
time may continue to suffer the effects of the sin for
which we have been forgiven. This is because of the
principle of sowing and reaping that we will deal
with in detail later.
To explain this, it is important for us to note that
with God there are two kinds of judgment. There is
temporal judgment, which pertains to the affairs of
this life. It is a judgment that applies to us while we
are alive on this earth. There is also eternal
judgment which will have an effect upon us not only
in time, but also throughout eternity.

Forgiveness restores fellowship

and right relationship with God,
without necessarily removing the temporal
consequences of a sin.

Continuing Consequences
I have said that it is possible to continue to suffer
the consequences of an action committed during our

44
lifetime although we have been forgiven by God.
This kind of judgment would not apply in eternity. It
is a temporal judgment, a dealing by God in this life
only. We must also remember that although a
judgment may not continue on into eternity, the
scriptures plainly show that by our failure to obey
God, or to make right responses in different
circumstances, we suffer loss, and because of this,
fail to attain to the fullness of God’s purpose for our
lives. This does not mean that we lose our salvation,
but we may have lost an opportunity to go on to
God’s highest purpose for our lives.
How often when faced with a crisis situation have
we blamed God? We have thought that God didn’t
care or had forsaken us. We have asked the
question, “Why did this happen to me?” God is
concerned as to how we respond even when the
most difficult things happen to us.
Several years ago my wife and I had driven from
Brisbane to Sydney, a distance of over 600 miles, to
conduct a series of meetings over a weekend. I was
still involved in business as well as leading the
church and it was important for me to be back in my
office on the Monday. We enjoyed a wonderful
weekend of meetings with God’s blessing being
evident, and late on the Sunday evening set off to
drive home through the night hours.
I was physically tired, but exhilarated by the joyous
meetings. The hours moved on as we traveled
homewards. By about 4 a.m. my eyes were
beginning to droop! I was losing concentration. My
wife had diligently stayed awake talking to me to

45
help me keep alert while our daughter and two
friends dozed in the back seat.
We should have stopped and rested. It was
important to me that I was back in my office without
too much delay, so my wife, who seemed wide
awake, gallantly offered to take over the driving.
We stopped the car and changed places.
I chatted to her for a while, but I was tired after the
busy weekend. My wife was driving well; I thought
that she could be traveling a little faster, but I felt
safe and slipped into a partial sleep.
The sudden crash seemed unreal! I opened my eyes.
The car was stopped and the bonnet was standing up
in front of the windscreen.
My wife was in tears. I was suddenly awake and
quickly out of the car. The front of the car was
smashed in the bonnet catch had been dislodged,
and two large road marker posts were under the
vehicle. We were on a bend in the road, and were
now stranded on the grassy shoulder at the side. No
one was injured. We looked at the scene. I felt
angry! We had prayed together before leaving
Sydney for a safe journey, and now this! I was not
angry with my wife. She was so upset, but I was
annoyed that we should be involved in an accident
and now would possibly be stranded for hours.

God is concerned as to how we respond

even when the most difficult
things happen to us.

46
I had been preaching the principles of God’s Word
and had been encouraging people in the Bible truths
of praise and worship, but at that moment I did not
feel like praising God for all things.
It was much later that I realized our miraculous
preservation. My wife had begun to realize that her
eyes were dropping closed, but was persevering for
my sake. Unconsciously she was driving more
slowly, but must have lost momentary awareness as
she encountered the bend in the road and the car had
continued straight ahead, first striking one marker
post then another. How easy it would have been to
have veered into the path of vehicles coming in the
opposite direction!
Two large indentations were in the front of the car
where each marker post had struck. Because of the
angle of the bend, one post had struck to the left of
the radiator crushing the bumper bar, grill, and
bonnet. The other post had struck to the right of the
radiator, doing almost identical damage. We looked
in amazement at the radiator and engine unaffected
by the impact! Not far ahead on the same side of the
road was a steep bank, and had the car left the road
there, we would undoubtedly have rolled over, with
possible serious results.
We managed to pull the marker posts from under
the car and drove off with considerable damage to
the front body, but the engine never missed a beat as
we continued on our way home. I was still annoyed.
I was not then thankful for an amazing escape but
was still upset at the problem.

47
I missed an opportunity to make the right kind of
response which would have allowed God to do a
work of development in my character. Perhaps later
problems that I have encountered were necessary
because I did not allow that experience to build my
trust and confidence in God at that time.
Job, in the time of his crisis was urged by his wife to
curse God and die (Job 2:9). Through every kind of
loss, pain, and discouragement, he maintained his
confidence in God and ultimately received blessings
far greater than he had previously.
The scripture makes clear that Christ is our
foundation and we are to build on Him. In 1
Corinthians 3:11–15 the apostle Paul speaking
symbolically says that we may build with materials
of hay, wood, and stubble, but when the fire of God
comes on them, they will be destroyed; but the
scripture goes on to say: “he himself will be
saved, but only as one escaping through
the flames” (1 Corinthians 3:15). Salvation was
still a reality for the one concerned, but he had lost
what had been built on the foundation. If, to the
contrary, he had built on the foundation gold, silver,
and precious stones, when the fire of God came
these materials would not have been destroyed, and
the man would have had a lasting structure of
eternal value.
Although judgment may not go on into eternity,
there is a continuing loss we can suffer, if we do not
build our lives on God’s pattern, or make responses
consistent with His Word.

48
Man-to-Man Forgiveness
It is important to realize that references to
forgiveness in the Old Testament include only three
which deal with man-to-man forgiveness. All the
others are either God-to-man or man-to-God. The
Old Testament is a record of people, under the law,
who were entitled to the protection that the law gave
them. In addition, they could demand the penalty the
law provided if an offence was committed against
them or their property. If a person suffered at the
hands of another, he had a perfect right to say,
“Because of what I have suffered, I demand that just
punishment be given to the offender.” That demand
was just and right, but because the offended man
could demand the penalty of the law, he was also
obliged to live within the law.
If we want people to drive carefully on our roads,
observe speed limits, and protect our lives and
property, then we must do the same thing for them.
It is an act of total selfishness, when one person
drives on the roads with disregard to the law, if he
complains when involved in an accident with
someone else who is also violating the law. When
we are under the law, we are protected by the
provisions of the law, but if we demand the right of
the law, then we are obliged to obey the law
ourselves. This principle is an example of genuine
justice.
In the Old Testament, David called upon God to
deal with his enemies. Perhaps we have thought, “I
wish I could do that! Why could David get away
with calling on God to smite his enemies!’? We

49
think, “Why should people be allowed to cause me
all this trouble?” I have come to understand,
however, why David could do this. He wrote in one
of his psalms:
“In your unfailing love, silence my
enemies; destroy all my foes, for I
am your servant.” (Psalm 143:12)
David was being treated unjustly at the time, and
under the law was entitled to call to God, for just
and legal retribution.

If we demand the right of the law, then we

are obliged to obey the law ourselves.

Grace Requires Grace

In Christ, however, we are not under the law, but
under grace. We cannot call, as David did, for God
to smite our enemy, because David was under the
law, and was entitled to the justice of the law. We
are not under the law; we are under a provision that
is greater and more merciful than the law could ever
be! We are now the recipients of God’s grace. In
simple terms that means that because of what Jesus
Christ has done, God sees us through the redemptive
work of Christ, and not as we actually are, in
ourselves. Grace is the unmerited favor that God
shows towards us although we have done nothing to
deserve it.
Because we are under grace, we are required to
exercise grace in dealing with others. If we want the
penalty of the law inflicted on others, then we
ourselves come under the same condemnation of the
50
law. The dispensation of grace that we enjoy in
Christ gives us so much more, but it requires so
much more of us in return. If we are under grace, we
cannot make the kind of plea that David made.
There is a new law in operation and that is the law
of grace. If I benefit from it, then I am obliged to
respond under those same provisions. This is very
important, as many of us today want the provisions
of God’s law to apply to others who have offended
us while we in turn want to receive the benefits of
grace. We want God to strongly condemn and judge
those who have mistreated us, but in turn we want
God to treat us kindly! This is a contradiction of the
law of grace.

Because we are under grace, we are

required to exercise grace
in dealing with others.

Forgiveness on a person-to-person basis in the Old

Testament was an illustration of grace rather than
law. Remember, law was what a person was
required to keep and therefore was entitled to
demand. As I have mentioned earlier, there are only
three illustrations recorded and each one is
important, because usually it was a man who called
on God for forgiveness. In the Old Testament
illustrations, grace was encouraged by God,
although He allowed the just provisions of the law.
These examples that are given in the Bible pointed
toward the higher godlike relationship between
people which was to be brought in through Jesus
Christ. A new standard of relationship between men

51
and women was to come into operation with the
New Covenant: that is the new way that God was
prepared to deal with men and women because of
what Jesus had done.
Let us examine the three examples we find in the
Old Testament regarding person-to-person
forgiveness. The first example is found in Genesis
chapter 50. We find that Jacob, the father of Joseph,
asked Joseph specifically to forgive his brothers for
the wrong they had done to him. The message that
the brothers brought to Joseph was a direct request
from their father. The brothers said, quoting their
father:
I ask you to forgive your brothers the
sins and wrongs they committed in
treating you so badly. Now please
forgive the sins of the servants of
the God of your father. (Genesis
50:17)
Here was a request for forgiveness. Joseph’s reply
was very significant. He said:
Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of
God? (Genesis 50:19)
Joseph realized that although he was not in a
position either to judge or pardon, be was being
given the privilege of forgiving. Any judgment for
the unjust treatment by his brothers was a matter
that concerned God, not Joseph!
Notice that the brothers fulfilled the two vital
conditions for genuine forgiveness; they
acknowledged their sin by confession, and repented
52
of the wrong they had done. On those conditions
Joseph forgave them. He declared that although his
brothers had meant harm against him, God had used
the events for good, and as a result an entire nation
had been saved.
Joseph forgave, but the right conditions had been
met. It is significant that Joseph said, “Am I in the
place of God?’, for he realized that it was not his
prerogative to judge or pardon. What God may have
done in judging his brothers the Bible does not tell
us. But Joseph, however, had exercised grace
towards them, not the provisions of the law.

Joseph realized that although he was not in

a position either to judge or pardon, he was
being given the privilege of forgiving.

The second example is found in the Bible story of

the deliverance of the Israelites from Egypt. We
read these words of Pharoah:
I have sinned against the Lord your
God and against you. Now forgive
my sin once more and pray to the
Lord your God to take this deadly
plague away from me. (Exodus
10:16–17)
Pharoah was ultimately not sincere in that statement,
but it did involve the essential elements of
acknowledgment and repentance. We have a man
asking for forgiveness, but because he went back on
his word, judgment came upon him.

53
The third example, a very significant one, is found
in 1 Samuel 25. We need to refer to some verses in
particular, but a brief outline of the story will help
us as this historical event is important in seeing
God’s action even when one man has forgiven
another. This incident deals with the issues of
forgiveness and pardon and the continuing judgment
when forgiveness has been granted. There are three
major characters in the story: a man called Nabal,
who was a wealthy farmer, the owner of three
thousand sheep and a thousand goats, a woman,
Abigail, Nabal’s wife, and David, who was then a
fugitive from King Saul.
The Bible record tells us that David’s young men
had respected and protected Nabal’s property, but
there came a time when David sent ten of his men to
ask for food. This seems to have been a reasonable
request in light of the obvious protection that David
and his men had given to Nabal. Nabal refused the
request, and when the message came back to David,
he was angry and set out to take revenge. When
Abigail heard what her husband had done, she went
out on a mission to intercede for Nabal. The story
tells how she rode out to meet David who was
coming with the intention of completely destroying
all the male members of Nabal’s household. She
stopped David, apologized, and asked for
forgiveness. She had apparently not consulted with
her husband, but went on an errand to seek mercy.
This is what Abigail said:
“Please forgive your servant’s
offence, for the Lord will certainly

54
 make a lasting dynasty for my
master, because he fights the Lord’s
battles. Let no wrong doing be found
in you as long as you live.” (1
Samuel 25:28)
David was angry, and obviously felt that he had
cause for his anger, but clearly this was a serious
over-reaction by David in wanting to take the lives
of Nabal’s men. He acceded to the request for mercy
and forgiveness that Abigail made. He
acknowledged that God had directed Abigail in her
action, and so was intervening to prevent him from
taking an action that he had no right to take – to
seek personal revenge.
David said to Abigail:
“Praise be to the Lord, the God of
Israel, who has sent you today to
meet me. May you be blessed for
your good judgment and for keeping
me from bloodshed this day and
from avenging myself with my own
hands.” (1 Samuel 25:32–33)
David realized that the action taken by Abigail was
really the intervention of God, stopping him from
doing something that would have violated the law of
God. David may have tried to justify the action he
intended, but he was really seeking to take personal
revenge and also to inflict a punishment which was
far above the retribution allowed by the law of God.
David obviously realized that his intended action
would have contravened the principles of God
which he relied upon for his own protection.
55
 God was intervening to prevent him from
taking an action that he had no right to take
– to seek personal revenge.

The story ends in a dramatic way. Abigail returned

home and the next day she told her husband what
had happened. We read:
Then in the morning, when Nabal
was sober, his wife told him all these
things, and his heart failed him and
he became like a stone. About ten
days later, the Lord struck Nabal and
he died. (1 Samuel 25:37–3 8)
David had extended both mercy and forgiveness
towards Nabal, but the judgment of God on Nabal
continued! Nabal had wronged David. David set out
to exact retribution to which he was not entitled, but
God graciously intervened through Abigail. David
saw the error of his intended action, and though he
granted the mercy and forgiveness requested by
Abigail, David did not have to act in judgment,
because it was God who did that! God moved
against the ungrateful man Nabal, and he died.
David kept his relationship with God in harmony
because of the mercy and forgiveness that he had
extended. If David had not forgiven and had instead
exacted the vengeance he intended, he may have
had an experience similar to that of a later occasion
when he took another man’s wife and God’s
judgment came upon him.

56
We need to recognize that the forgiveness granted
by David did not remove God’s right to inflict
judgment and punishment on the offender.

David kept his fellowship with God in

harmony because of the mercy and
forgiveness that he had extended.

Choosing Law or Grace

The Old Testament reveals a God of mercy,
forgiveness, and pardon. It deals with a people
under the law who were obliged to obey the law. It
limited personal revenge but allowed just
retribution. It allowed a man the privilege of
forgiving, but did not demand it from him. It merely
demanded just treatment. The Old Testament clearly
gave the right to forgive to the individual but, at the
same time, showed that God’s judgment could still
apply to the offender, even when forgiveness had
been granted.
The principle we must understand is that if we live
under law, then we receive its protection, but we
also receive its just penalty. It is strange that born-
again believers who are receiving the benefits of
God’s grace often want to impose the penalties of
the law against those who have offended them and
they then wonder at the results that follow in their
own lives.
Many sincere Christians are determined that
believers in Christ should be under a Sabbath Law.
It is right to keep a day for God, but if we demand
one part of the law, we are obligated to all the law.

57
How amazing that now that we are under grace we
should want to be under law. God has set us free
through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, but if we live
under grace, then we must also give its provisions to
others whom we meet day-by-day. Grace demands a
higher response, but it gives greater benefits. We are
under grace; we are not under the law! God remains
just, righteous, merciful, forgiving, and pardoning,
but He requires that the right conditions be met if
we are to receive His grace with all its benefits.

How amazing that now we are under grace,

we should want to be under law.

It is easy to be judgmental of others and deny them

gracious help or restoration, but we can place
ourselves in danger by such an attitude.
Immorality is a tragedy and a snare within the
church and especially amongst those in ministry or
leadership. I know of a particular incident where the
moral failure had been a serious one. The strictest
discipline was needed and was exercised. Several
years passed before that man was allowed to again
take a place on a church platform and preach. The
time of discipline had been marked by a complete
family reconciliation, a willingness to face the
problem, and a spiritual consistency.
When the man concerned was restored to ministry, a
fellow minister said, “A man with that kind of
problem should never be allowed back in the
ministry!” Within a short time, the minister who had
made this judgmental statement was himself

58
exposed for adultery! This man would not then face
up to the discipline he had demanded for others.
One of the other errors into which we can fall is to
forgive ourselves when forgiveness must first be
sought from those whom we have offended. Perhaps
in an endeavor to save people from self-
condemnation we have stressed the need to forgive
ourselves, but this can only properly be done after
we have asked others to forgive us for our failure.
This means that we have a responsibility to put right
any wrongs that we may have committed against
another, and not just pretend that the offence did not
occur. If we have faithfully done our part in putting
right that which was wrong, then we have fulfilled
our part even if the other person refuses to accept
our request for forgiveness.
As an example I read of a preacher who was
scheduled to conduct a series of meetings in a town
but suddenly the organizers of the meetings
discovered his involvement in a repeated adulterous
situation. When confronted with the allegation the
man openly confessed his guilt, offered to confess to
his wife, and said, “Now let us get on with the
meetings.”
This man had instantly forgiven himself! The
organizers cancelled the meetings.

One of the other errors into which

we can fall is to forgive ourselves when
forgiveness must first come from those
whom we have offended.

59
It is not our right to forgive ourselves, but we must
first seek forgiveness from those we have offended.
We are not only responsible to God but also to the
whole “Body of Christ’. When appropriate
discipline has been applied, and the offender has
humbled himself by repentance, then restoration can
be set in motion. We have no right to forgive
ourselves, until those we have failed offer their
forgiveness to us, or we fulfill the conditions that
justify such forgiveness. Then we can and should
forgive ourselves.
Let me illustrate this from a typical church situation.
The youth group had planned an outing, and cars
had been arranged to transport all those attending.
At the departure time, one car owner had not
arrived. The group stood around waiting, a little
frustrated and growing anxious as the minutes
passed by. Thirty minutes later the missing car with
its driver screeched to a halt beside the waiting
group, a smiling driver leaning his elbow jauntily on
the open window frame. “Where have you been?”
shouted a dozen voices. The young man’s grin
broadened, “Better late than never,” he replied self-
confidently.
This young man had forgiven himself. His rightful
attitude should have been one of apology and
explanation. It was the privilege of the waiting
group to forgive him for his late arrival, and no
doubt they would have done so had his attitude been
right. But he took it as his right to forgive himself.
Forgiveness is not obtained in this way.

60
The opposite attitude is to demand a legalistic
approach. The Mosaic law is a great guide to the
ways and truth of God, but if we demand its
provisions, be prepared to receive them in return. If
we want to call God’s judgment down on an
offender, be prepared for God to bring his judgment
down on us. When we appreciate the grace which
has been given to us, we will in turn let the grace of
God flow out from us, so that in our dealings with
each other we will be merciful and forgiving
without violating the principle that others must
forgive us. Or we must meet the conditions for
forgiveness, before we can forgive ourselves.
Some people will hold an attitude of unforgiveness
even when a person has apologized and asked to be
forgiven, so their wrong response cannot be allowed
to be a barrier to our forgiving ourselves. If we
follow this course our fellowship with God will be
unaffected and we may be sure that a mighty God,
who knows all things, is still at work to deal with
unrighteousness wherever it might be found. God
does not turn “a blind eye” to the failings,
disobedience, and wrongs of Christians, but if they
call upon Him in sincerity He will hear and restore
them to right relationship with Him. This does not,
however, guarantee that God’s temporal hand of
judgment will not remain upon them. There can be
consequences that follow sin, even when
forgiveness has been given.

God does not turn “a blind eye” to the

failings, disobedience, and wrongs of

61
 Christians, but if they call on Him in
sincerity He will hear and restore them.

Let us be sure to show mercy and forgiveness in our

relationships with one another. God can take care of
the offender. It is not our problem, but His! We are
to recognize the grace that we have received through
faith in Jesus Christ, live within the provisions of
that grace, and in return for what we have received,
treat others with grace.

62
 Chapter 3
Forgiveness and Judgment

In seeking to understand the proper meaning of

forgiveness it is essential, in order to avoid
misunderstanding, to realize what happens when
forgiveness is given.
It is clear from scripture that the exercise of mercy,
which God always grants, and the provision of
forgiveness, do not automatically remove all
judgment for the offense that has been committed.
We need to consider this very carefully as there are
implications involved with forgiveness that may
have been overlooked. Let me suggest three aspects
of forgiveness.

Complete Forgiveness
The term “complete forgiveness” is used to indicate
the total forgiveness of the offender including
complete pardon, which removes any continuing
judgment for the offense. We read these words in
the psalms:
As far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our
transgressions from us. (Psalm
103:12)
Jesus made this statement:

63
 This is what is written: “The Christ
will suffer and rise from the dead on
the third day, and repentance and
forgiveness of sins will be preached
in his name to all nations, beginning
at Jerusalem.” (Luke 24:46–47)
In Paul’s letter to the Roman church he says:
“Blessed are they whose
transgressions are forgiven, whose
sins are covered.” (Romans 4:7)
What marvelous promises these are! It is very plain
that there is a forgiveness by God that completely
eradicates the penalty of past sin. God can blot out
the record of sin so that no consequences remain.
This kind of forgiveness restores a person to perfect
fellowship with God so that the former sinner, who
was alienated from God and without hope, is
accepted in Christ just as if he had never committed
a sin.
There is a common misconception that God forgets
our sins. People say, “God has cast our sins into the
deepest sea of His forgetfulness never to be
remembered against us any more.” This statement is
not in the Bible although some people may have
thought that it was an actual scripture verse! How
could an omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient
God forget? When the Bible refers to God not
remembering sins and iniquities it means that God
will not act judgmentally against a person or nation,
as to penalty or consequences, rather than a literal
forgetting that the incident had taken place. An
example is as follows:
64
 For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no
more. (Hebrews 8:12)
God was not going to hold their sin against them,
but He had not forgotten that they had sinned! It is
easy to use the thought that “God forgets” as an
excuse for not dealing with a problem or not putting
right a wrong. When we act in accordance with
God’s Word, then He puts away the thought of our
failure so that it is not a barrier to our relationship
with Him. God has the ability not to allow any sin
we have committed and then confessed, to affect our
fellowship with Him.

There is a forgiveness by God

that completely eradicates the penalty
of past sin.

This helpful testimony was given to me by a friend:

Early one Sunday morning I found it
necessary to correct one of my teenage
daughters because of her behavior. Her
response was one of total rejection of what I
had said, and I was taken by surprise and
offended by her angry reaction.
I did not respond although I felt very
annoyed, but went into my room to pray. I
had been challenged just previously by the
verse in Mark 11:24, Therefore I tell
you, whatever you ask for in
prayer, believe that you have
received it, and it will be yours.

65
This scripture was so clear, and here was a
need in our home that required God’s help,
so I asked Him to change my daughter’s
attitude and give to her the grace of
obedience. I asked the Lord to do it that day!
The hours of the day went past with no
response from my daughter. At 9.30 p.m.
that evening I dropped on my knees beside
my bed, and feeling bitterly disappointed I
cried out to God and asked Him why He had
not answered my prayer. I was certain that I
had had the faith to receive that promise.
The next verse in Mark 11 then came to my
mind. And when you stand praying,
if you hold anything against
anyone, forgive him, so that your
Father in heaven may forgive you
your sins.
I suddenly realized that I was treating
forgiveness as forgetting. I had been misled
by the cliché, “God forgives and forgets.” I
had put my daughter’s remarks and
antagonism out of my mind and thought that
this constituted forgiveness. My attitude had
been passive, just pretending that the
incident hadn’t taken place, and I was
waiting for God to solve the problem. In
doing this, I had left my daughter on an
island of isolation.
My heart warmed within me and I got up
from my knees to go to her room and
express my love for her, but God had beaten
66
 me to it. My daughter and I met in the
passage, each on the way to put things right
with the other.
I had thought that trying to forget would
solve the problem, but I learned that day
what a vital part forgiveness has in the
spiritual realm. As soon as I genuinely
forgave from my heart, God moved in her
life, and my prayer was answered.

It is easy to use the thought that “God

forgets” as an excuse for not dealing with a
problem or not putting right a wrong.

In a previous chapter we saw the difference between

temporal forgiveness and eternal forgiveness.
Temporal forgiveness is related to this life whereas
eternal forgiveness goes on into eternity. With
complete forgiveness, which we are considering
now, God also gives total pardon. This means that
both in this present life and also eternally, the record
is made clear and there are no further penalties for
our sins and failures.
How devoid of appreciation we would be if we did
not rejoice in a provision such as this! All the guilt
and burden of sin are gone. Set free! This is the
most common understanding of forgiveness, and it
is wonderful to realize that God forgives in such a
complete way.

Temporal forgiveness is related to this life,

whereas eternal forgiveness
goes on into eternity.
67
Conditional Forgiveness
We cannot, however, automatically assume that
complete forgiveness is always given by God,
because there is a second aspect which I will call
“conditional forgiveness’. This is where a person
may sin and continue to repeat the offence. God
always forgives when the right conditions are met,
so it does not matter how serious the failure may be,
if the person genuinely repents and confesses, then
fellowship with God is restored. Definite conditions
are required. God says, “If you repent and confess, I
will restore you to fellowship with me.”
We live in a natural world and are subjected to
many pressures and temptations, and we know that
yielding to temptation is not always a deliberate or
willful act. There are forces that can gain hold in our
lives at different times, and although we have
despised ourselves when these sins have occurred,
we have failed and repeated a violation of God’s
Word. It is possible to be entangled by some
besetting sin, and many sincere people grapple with
this kind of problem. When this happens in our life,
God cannot ignore it. God may have to deal with us
and place certain restrictions on us as a probation, a
proving period to establish discipline and victory in
areas of failure. In these circumstances we have the
benefit of the Holy Spirit’s ministry of convicting us
of sin. Jesus said that the Holy Spirit would convict
us of sin, righteousness and judgment (John 16:8).
We must always be sensitive to this conviction and
respond to it if we want the continued blessing of

68
the Lord and also to be free of the consequences that
can come from deliberate sin.

God always forgives when the right

conditions are met.

At the close of the book of Joshua we read how

Joshua warned the people that although God had
been with them and had given them victory, the
Lord would judge them if they disobeyed His Word
or served other gods. These words are recorded:
Be very strong; be careful to obey all
that is written in the Book of the Law
of Moses, without turning aside to
the right or to the left.
Do not associate with these nations
that remain among you; do not
invoke the names of their gods or
swear by them. You must not serve
them or bow down to them.
But you are to hold fast to the Lord
your God, as you have until now.
The Lord has driven out before you
great and powerful nations; to this
day no one has been able to
withstand you.
One of you routs a thousand,
because the Lord your God fights for
you, just as He promised. So be very
careful to love the Lord your God.

69
 But if you turn away and ally
yourselves with the survivors of
these nations that remain among
you and if you intermarry with them
and associate with them, then you
may be sure that the Lord your God
will no longer drive out these nations
before you. Instead they will become
snares and traps for you, whips on
your backs and thorns in your eyes,
until you perish from this good land,
which the Lord your God has given
you.
Now I am about to go the way of all
the earth. You know with all your
heart and soul that not one of all the
good promises the Lord your God
gave you has failed. Every promise
has been fulfilled; not one has failed.
(Joshua 23:6–14)
If you forsake the Lord and serve
foreign gods, he will turn and bring
disaster on you and make an end of
you after he has been good to you.
(Joshua 24:20)

God may have to deal with us and place

certain restrictions on us as a probation, a
proving period to establish discipline and
victory in areas of failure.

70
God was warning these people against the
consequences of disobedience even after they had
enjoyed His supernatural help and blessing.
I wonder whether we take into account the
consequences of disobedience in our relationship
with God. It was not that they could never be
restored again, because God did restore them on
many occasions after they violated that particular
command, but God warned them of the
consequences if they did not do what He said. God
was clear! He said that if they did not obey Him and
continue in His way, and also completely drive out
the enemy, even though He had done so much for
them, the Canaanites would recapture the land from
them. And it happened!
We could illustrate this from a family situation. It is
easy to understand the ways of God if we use the
natural family as an example. Think of a child of
school age to whom the mother says, “I want you to
come home immediately after school.” The child
comes home late and is very apologetic. The mother
says, “All right dear, that’s fine, but do not let it
happen again.” All is well in the family, the child is
forgiven, and the home is in harmony. Next
afternoon, the same thing happens, the child is late!
Mother says, “But I told you yesterday to come
straight home.” There are tears, more apologies, but
repentance restores the happiness of the home. If,
however, that conduct continues day after day, then
it is inevitable that the mother will place certain
restrictions on the child because of the continued
disobedience.

71
The repentance and confession of the child restored
fellowship, but the continuation of the offence
resulted in discipline being applied. A proving time
would be required to work out the full application of
forgiveness and again establish a basis for trust.
This is how the Holy Spirit works.
Our younger daughter had looked forward eagerly
to joining her older brother and sister at school.
When she reached the longed-for age of five years,
it was an excited little girl who set off for her first
day at school. She was cheerful and warm hearted,
and quickly made friends. Each afternoon she was a
little later in coming home from school. The
temptation to spend more time playing with her new
friends after school or to stop at a girlfriend’s house
on the way home was proving too much for her.
My wife told her repeatedly, “Come home
immediately after school.” The little girl’s face
would look sad and repentant. It was hard for my
wife to resist what to us was a cute little blonde
whose look could melt the hardest heart, but finally
the ultimatum was made, “You come home
immediately after school or else!”
But she was late again! “Where have you been?”,
demanded my wife.
The little head dropped, eyes looked to the ground,
and she said, “I was walking with my head down
and I lost my way.”
My wife had to turn away to hide her laughter at the
novel excuse from a five year old but, needless to
say, for the next few days mother was waiting at the

72
school gate to pick up a little girl who had to learn
that “Come straight home” really meant that! Did
we love her less?
Perhaps we even loved her more because of her love
of friendship, but discipline had to be taught.
This is the same in our dealings with God. It is
perfectly reasonable that our heavenly Father will
take restrictive action if we continue to ignore what
He says. We expect this to happen in our family. We
would not allow a child to go on disobeying but we
would not cast out our child from the home or
remain with a sullen, angry attitude towards him. If
we are mature parents, we would want our
relationship with our child restored, but if the child
was constantly disobedient, we would be forced to
take disciplinary action.
God does this! God sometimes puts restrictions on
us, His children, and places us on probation. He puts
us through a proving time, to establish that He can
really trust us.
I am sure that all of us want God not only to love us
but also to trust us. It is true that our human nature
often causes us to fall short of the high standard of
trustworthiness that God’s word portrays, but God is
still expecting us to be obedient children. Trying to
deceive God is totally unsuccessful, because He
knows both our actions and motives. Our children
may succeed with deception or disobedience for a
time, but with God nothing is hidden. We need a
relationship with the Lord where there is not only
genuine fellowship through mercy and forgiveness,

73
but also where we are not restricted because He
cannot trust us.
Have you ever considered that at a human level
there can be genuine love and fellowship without
trust? In fact, the Bible tells us that we cannot really
trust people, even those who are closest to us. The
intentions of people may be worthy but often they
fail to live up to those intentions. Our responsibility
is to love one another but to trust only God. When
we put our trust in people, it is inevitable that at
some stage a person will fail that trust, but that does
not happen with God.
This idea may at first seem to be contradictory, but
careful consideration will show that we can love our
children very dearly, and have genuine fellowship
with them, but not trust their ability to make right
responses in different situations. Because of this, we
protect them by discipline and restriction. We do not
apply this discipline to harm them, but to save them.

Trying to deceive God is totally

unsuccessful, because He knows both our
actions and our motives.

If we remember this principle in regard to our

relationship with God, it will help to give us better
understanding. Our heavenly Father does what we
would do with our children, but with much greater
understanding, compassion, and love than we could
show. There is a conditional forgiveness as well as a
complete forgiveness. Conditional forgiveness is
where God forgives us of the penalty of the sin, but
we are under His restrictive watch. Complete
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forgiveness is where we are totally restored to God
and every sin is wiped out never to be held against
us again. We stand before God cleansed from sin
and guilt and without restriction because of the
blood of Jesus Christ.
If, however, we do not live in obedience but go
against the Word of God and please ourselves, God
will restore us to fellowship with Him if we repent
and confess, but the forgiveness may be conditional.
There are many people today who wonder why
certain problems and difficulties happen in their
lives. One of the subjects we will deal with is titled
“What is Happening?”, because I have had that
question asked so often during counseling. People
do not understand what is happening in their lives,
but if they will accept some of the principles that we
are examining, they will begin to understand the
cause of many of their problems. God’s restrictive,
disciplinary hand can be in operation in a person’s
life, and instead of enjoying complete forgiveness,
he is experiencing conditional forgiveness!

God will restore us to fellowship if we

repent and confess, but the forgiveness
may be conditional.

Judicial Forgiveness
I have called the third aspect of forgiveness
“Judicial Forgiveness”. The laws of the kingdom of
God are absolutes. They cannot be broken! We may
appear to break them, but we do not, as in reality we

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break ourselves on God’s laws. If we violate these
laws, then there is some definite effect upon us.
Always remember that God is merciful, but mercy
takes into consideration knowledge and experience,
so as we have seen previously, the degree of mercy
that is extended varies according to the knowledge
and understanding that a person has. If a new
Christian commits a sin, then God’s mercy toward
him may be much greater than if an experienced
Christian committed the same sin.
Mercy is the lessening of the severity of the penalty
which is deserved. We read in James’ letter:
Dear brothers, don’t be too eager to
tell others their faults, for we all
make many mistakes; and when we
teachers, who should know better,
do wrong, our punishment will be
greater than it would be for others.
(James 3:1 The Living Bible)
This truth of repentance and judicial forgiveness is
clearly illustrated in two examples from the life of
King David. I want to examine these because they
are very important in giving us clarity in all aspects
of forgiveness. The scripture states:
So the king said to Joab and the
army commanders with him, “Go
throughout the tribes of Israel from
Dan to Beersheba and enroll the
fighting men, so that I may know
how many there are.”

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 But Joab replied to the king, “May
the Lord your God multiply the
troops a hundred times over, and
may the eyes of my lord the king see
it. But why does my lord the king
want to do such a thing?”
The king’s word, however, overruled
Joab and the army commanders; so
they left the presence of the king to
enroll the fighting men of Israel. (2
Samuel 24:2–4)
The story continues in the same chapter: David was
conscience-stricken after he had counted the
fighting men, and he said to the Lord,
“I have sinned greatly in what I have
done. Now 0 Lord, I beg you, take
away the guilt of your servant. I
have done a very foolish thing.” (2
Samuel 24:10)
This was a clear statement of repentance and
confession by David. God, however, sent the
prophet Gad, David’s seer, to David. This is what
the Bible records:
Go and tell David, “This is what the
Lord says: I am giving you three
options. Choose one of them for me
to carry out against you”
So Gad went to David and said to
him, “Shall there come upon you
three years of famine in your land?
Or three months of fleeing from your
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 enemies while they pursue you? Or
three days of plague in your land?
Now then, think it over and decide
how I should answer the one who
sent me.”
David said to Gad, “I am in deep
distress. Let us fall into the hands of
the Lord, for his mercy is great; but
do not let me fall into the hands of
men.”
So the Lord sent a plague on Israel
from that morning until the end of
the time designated, and seventy
thousand of the people from Dan to
Beersheba died. (2 Samuel 24: 12–1
5)

Some offences in the sight of God are so

serious that although God will forgive if
there is repentance and confession, there is
a continuing judicial result.

David had repented and confessed his sin, but God

still sent judgment! The full implications of David’s
action in numbering the people is not clear in the
scripture. There is a provision made in the Old
Testament for numbering the people, but it would
seem, because of the penalty which God imposed,
that behind David’s action in numbering the people
was pride in what he had achieved. It would appear
that David must have had self-satisfaction because
of the number of people he had gathered around

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him. David had failed to acknowledge that it was
God who had given him power and victory.
David’s generals, Joab and others, had pleaded with
him not to number the people, but he had gone
ahead willfully. Now, realizing the enormity of his
action, he cried out to God in repentance. But it was
too late!
David was restored to fellowship with God as a
result of his repentance, but pardon for the
consequences of his sin was not granted. Because of
David’s action, judgment fell on the whole nation.
There was a continuing judicial result from David’s
failure.
Perhaps this should be a salutary lesson for some
Christian leaders today who put great stress on the
numbers of people who attend their meetings. We
need to constantly remember that any success that
we enjoy is because of God’s grace and His Spirit
rather than on our own energies or abilities.
A more serious illustration is the one dealing with
David’s adultery with Bathsbeba, and the arranged
death of her husband, Uriah. These undoubtedly
were the darkest events in David’s life. The story is
recorded in 2 Samuel 11. Later David was
confronted with these two sins, his adultery, and the
murder of one of the men who had trusted him.
Some commentators say that it may have been up to
four years before David genuinely repented and
asked God’s forgiveness even though David did
immediately recognize what he had done, but was
unwilling to face up to his actions. We can accept

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that we have done wrong but not genuinely repent.
David instantly acknowledged his sin, but could not
have been genuinely repentant, because he was not
immediately restored to fellowship with God (Psalm
32:3-4). If we want to understand the inner battle
that David experienced in seeking to be restored in
his relationship with the Lord, we can read his own
account in Psalm 32. This psalm reveals a period of
great personal struggle before David finally and
sincerely confessed and repented of the enormity of
his sin. The living Bible paraphrases the experience
of David in this graphic manner:
What happiness for those whose
guilt has been forgiven!
What joys when sins are covered
over! What relief for those who have
confessed their sins and God has
cleared their record
There was a time when I wouldn’t
admit what a sinner I was. But my
dishonesty made me miserable and
filled my days with frustration. All
day and all night your hand was
heavy on me. My strength
evaporated like water on a sunny
day until I finally admitted my sins to
you and stopped trying to hide them.
I said to myself ‘I will confess them
to the Lord’ And you forgave me! All
my guilt is gone. (Psalm 32:1–5)

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 We can recognize that we have done
wrong but not genuinely repent.

What a dramatic account of an inner conflict. David

finally reached the place of genuine sorrow. He
repented, and confessed, and God restored him to
fellowship with Him. One cannot read Psalm 32
without sensing the great weight that had been lifted
from David and the joy that was now within him
even though discipline and judgment were not
removed. This is confirmed as we read David’s
words in Psalm 51. David was obviously aware of
the continuing effect his sin had on God’s highest
purpose for his life. It is sobering to read the verses
of this psalm again in the light of what has been
presented in this study:
Have mercy upon me, 0 God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgression.
Wash away all my iniquity and
cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions, and
my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when
you speak and justified when you
judge. (Psalm 51:1–4)
Hide your face from my sins and blot
out all my iniquity.

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 Create in me a pure heart, 0 God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within
me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your
salvation and grant me a willing
spirit, to sustain me.
Then I will teach transgressors your
ways, and sinners will turn back to
you. (Psalm 51:9–1 3)
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I
would bring it; you do not take
pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken
spirit; a broken and contrite heart, 0
God you will not despise. (Psalm 51:
16–17)

Continuing Judgment
Many Christians have been unwilling to face the
fact that there can be continuing judgment after
forgiveness has been given. It is easy to say, “As far
as the east is from the west, so far has He removed
our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12). We can
take that to mean that our sin is blotted out and
finished with in every way, but that may not be
correct. I have heard people say when they speak
about the mercy and forgiveness of God, “Well,
love covers a multitude of sins, God is a loving God,
and will not hold our failure against us.”
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Many Christians have been unwilling to face
the fact that there can be continuing
judgment after forgiveness has been given.

If we are seeking to grow spiritually, we need to

take this aspect to heart. In David’s case, God’s
forgiveness did not eliminate the consequences of
an action. Not only did the child that was born to
Bathsheba die, but God inflicted a continuing
temporal judgment on David. He was told by the
prophet Nathan:
Now, therefore, the sword shall
never depart from your house,
because you despised me and took
the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be
your own. (2 Samuel 12:10)
These words were spoken to David who was
described as “a man after God’s own heart!” David
had been chosen by God and ordained to be king of
Israel. He loved to praise and worship the Lord and
to have fellowship with Him. David, however, was a
man who had become captured by lust for
Bathsheba. He finally repented, but although God
forgave him for the sins he had committed, death
and trouble continued to inflict his family. There
were continued temporal consequences of his sin.
Disasters and heartache followed David’s family.
Ammon, David’s son, raped his own sister, and later
paid the penalty with his life. Absalom plotted
against his father to take the throne and won the
hearts of the people by deceit. David suffered
betrayal by Absalom, and later Absalom died

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violently. In spite of Absalom’s deception, David
was in great distress when told of his son’s death.
We read in the scripture record:
The king was shaken. He went up to
the room over the gateway and
wept. As he went he said, “O my son
Absalom! My son, my son Absalom!
If only I had died instead of you – O
Absalom, my son, my son!” (2
Samuel 18:33)
We would have hard hearts if we did not feel
something of this father’s anguish. Even the great
and wise Solomon who succeeded his father David
as king of Israel, ended his days in selfish pleasure,
his heart turned away from God. David’s household
did suffer because of his sins.
We live today in a permissive society where
adultery and fornication have become
commonplace. I think it is sobering to remember
that under the law of Moses adultery received the
penalty of death by stoning. God particularly said to
David,
“You are not going to die” (2 Samuel
12:13).
David should have died under the terms of the law
but God, however, showed mercy upon him and did
not demand the full penalty of the law. However,
the consequences of David’s sin continued to affect
him and his family.

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Law or Principle?
I suppose some people would say, “Isn’t that only
Old Testament punishment?” This would leave us
with the question to answer as to whether we are
dealing with an Old Testament story or with a
principle of God. If it is a principle of God, then it
does not change.
In 1 John 5:16 the apostle John writes about a sin
that is not unto death and a sin that is unto death. In
Matthew Henry’s Bible Commentary on this
particular verse he says:
The gospel does not positively
threaten death for the more visible
sins of the members of Christ, but
only some chastisement. There is
room left for divine wisdom or
goodness or even severity, to
determine how far the chastisement
or the scourge shall proceed.

The consequences of David’s sin

continued to affect him and his family.

There is also a New Testament pattern for the

continuing dealings of God as to consequences,
even when fellowship has been restored to God
through mercy and forgiveness. An example of a
temporal or earthly judgment proceeding, even
though there has been prior forgiveness, is found in
Hebrews 6. This chapter begins with statements of
the great foundational doctrines of our faith and
goes on to make this declaration:
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 It is impossible for those who have
once been enlightened, who have
tasted the heavenly gift, who have
shared in the Holy Spirit, who have
tasted the goodness of the word of
God and the powers of the coming
age, if they shall fall away, to be
brought back to repentance,
because to their loss they are
crucifying the Son of God all over
again and subjecting him to public
disgrace. (Hebrews 6:4–6)
This is a very solemn passage of scripture. God’s
purpose toward us is good, but in the midst of our
joy in the blessings He gives, we also need to
understand the principles by which we grow to full
maturity. The Christians referred to in Hebrews 6
obviously had experienced a deep relationship with
God. They had been enlightened and had tasted the
heavenly gift. They had shared in the work of the
Holy Spirit. If, however, after all of this they fell
away from their faith, the scripture is very final; it is
impossible to bring them back to repentance!
Does this mean a loss of salvation? Salvation is not
lost because of some failure or indiscretion although
it is possible for one to lose his salvation. Eternal
security comes from a continuing relationship with
Jesus Christ, so we need to be careful in seeking to
understand this particular part of God’s Word.
Perhaps, when God has blessed us with His
goodness, has filled us with the Holy Spirit, and has
given gifts of the Spirit, and we repudiate these by

86
word or action, it becomes impossible to bring us
back to the same place of relationship with the Lord.
I have seen this happen to people! They have never
been restored to a vital place in God, after denying
or treating lightly a powerful experience of God’s
grace and power.
There are, however, those who would place a much
stricter interpretation on these verses. They would
see these scriptures as referring to a person who has
had a deep personal experience of God and then
deliberately and completely turns his back on the
Lord and the truth of the Bible. This would be
interpreted as a “sin unto death” from which there is
no place of restoration. No doubt this can happen,
but in general, this scripture possibly refers to a
continuing temporal judgment rather than loss of
salvation.
There are dealings of God that begin in this present
life, and even if there is genuine confession and
repentance, there is no way that we are able to
escape the judicial hand of God.
The story of Esau is another example. It would
seem, that when he sold his birthright to his brother
Jacob for the price of a meal, that he did so without
considering all the implications of his action. The
writer to the Hebrews, refers to this incident and
says:
See that no-one is sexually immoral,
or is godless like Esau, who for a
single meal sold his inheritance
rights as the oldest son. Afterwards,
as you know, when he wanted to
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 inherit this blessing, he was
rejected. He could bring about no
change of mind, though he sought
the blessing with tears. (Hebrews
12:16–17)
This is another illustration of apparent repentance
where the loss which had been suffered could not be
restored. We need to consider the consequences
before embarking on a course of action that violates
the principles of God.

Even if there is genuine confession and

repentance, there is no way that we are able
to escape the judicial hand of God.

Facing Failure
What is the answer to a situation such as this? There
is only one remedy. If we have gone against the
Word of God to the extent that the judicial hand of
God remains on us, after we have repented and
asked to be forgiven, then the only answer is to
humble ourselves before the Lord. Face the
problem. Don’t excuse it. Accept it. Look it straight
in the face and say, “Yes, it happened, and I am
responsible.”
In humbling ourselves before the Lord, we must
admit what we have done. We must then allow
God’s actions in our lives without resistance. The
more we resist, if we are under the judicial dealings
of God, the longer we will remain there. It is only
when we say, “Lord, I am desperately in need of
your mercy, forgiveness and pardon” that we open
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the way for God to lift his judgment and discipline.
Like David of old, we must say, “I will throw
myself upon the mercy of God.” Then stay close to
the Lord.
It is hard to face failure, or acknowledge that we
may have been wrong. Very few people ever have
the courage to retrace their steps. I have known
many people who have, for various reasons, been
upset over some aspect of church life or emphasis
and have left the church, usually with the comment
that the Lord had directed them in their action.
Many of these people have subsequently become
spiritual wanderers and their Christian growth has
become stunted, clearly indicating by the fruit of
their lives that their original decision to leave the
church was not at God’s direction.
I well remember a young man who influenced a
group of young people to become discontented and
critical and leave the church where I pastored. The
accusation leveled at the ministry was that there was
a lack of faith preaching. This young man declared
that if one had sufficient faith, one could have
anything one wanted. The young man concerned left
the Teachers College where he was training and
declared that the Lord had told him to read the Bible
and wait on Him.
For some weeks the friends of the young man rallied
around him, paying the rent of his apartment and
providing money for his food, until they became
disillusioned by the events. Ultimately the young
man applied to go back to University, and as far as I
know, his spiritual involvement in active church life
89
came to a standstill. He never came back to
apologize for his accusations or the upset caused in
many other lives.
It is hard to be humble enough to ask for forgiveness
when we have thought that we were right but found
that we were wrong. Most people just try to forget
about it or pretend that nothing serious happened. It
is true that many of our errors begin out of sincerity
but the ministry of the Holy Spirit is to guide us into
truth, so if we will keep a teachable spirit we will
soon come under conviction. The sad part is that so
many people will not take steps to put right what is
wrong.
Sin does not have to be some serious immoral action
as any kind of disobedience or self-will can make it
necessary for us to humble ourselves in order to be
restored to the right place of fellowship that God
wants us to have with Him.
It is significant that when Achan disobeyed God’s
command and the nation of Israel suffered defeat at
the city of Ai, the people had to go back to the place
of defeat and conquer that city before they could
proceed any further in their conquest of the
Promised Land of Canaan. This is a good
illustration of how we must go back to the place of
defeat and deal with the failure if we are to grow in
our spiritual lives.

It is hard to be humble enough to ask for

forgiveness when we have thought that we
were right but found that we were wrong.

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Three Kinds of Judgment
Judgment can be a part of genuine forgiveness!
There are three kinds of judgment that apply:
1. Self-judgment
Therefore let us stop passing
judgment on one another. Instead,
make up your mind not to put any
stumbling block or obstacle in your
brother’s way. (Romans 14:13)
This verse tells us that we are to judge our own
actions. In his letter to the Corinthian church the
apostle Paul was teaching about the manner in
which believers were to come to the Lord’s table,
and he said:
A man ought to examine himself
before he eats of the bread and
drinks of the cup. (1 Corinthians
11:28)
The Lord requires a genuine honest self-
examination. To quote further from the same
chapter of Paul’s letter:
But if we judged ourselves, we would
not come under judgment. When we
are judged by the Lord, we are being
disciplined so that we will not be
condemned with the world. (1
Corinthians 11:31–32)
This teaching is clear; if we are willing to judge
ourselves, then God’s judgment does not come on
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us, but if we do not judge ourselves, then God will
judge us and bring on us whatever discipline is
needed.
2. Judgment by the Church
This might be a new aspect to some, because we
seldom do this in practice. Jesus was, however, very
clear about it and gave specific instructions about
the procedure to be followed when there was a
dispute between believers:
If your brother sins against you, go
and show him his fault, just between
the two of you. If he listens to you,
you have won your brother over. But
if he will not listen, take one or two
others along, so that every matter
may be established by the testimony
of two or three witnesses. If he
refuses to listen to them, tell it to
the church; and if he refuses to
listen even to the church, treat him
as you would a pagan or a tax
collector. (Matthew 18:15–17)
In 1 Corinthians 5, there is another reference to
judging the wrong conduct of believers. We are told
not to keep company with any man who calls
himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy,
an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler.
These are strong words, but they are clear
instructions to those in the church as to how they are
to act toward others who say they are believers but

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are guilty of bad behavior. In Paul’s letter to Titus
we read the following:
For there are many rebellious
people, mere talkers and deceivers,
especially those of the circumcision
group. They must be silenced,
because they are ruining whole
households by teaching things they
ought not to teach – and that for the
sake of dishonest gain. Even one of
their own prophets has said,
“Cretans are always liars, evil
brutes, lazy gluttons.” This
testimony is true. Therefore rebuke
them sharply, so that they will be
sound in the faith. (Titus 1:10–13)
The rebuke and penalty are not for the purpose of
ridding the church of undesirable people, but to
discipline them in the Christian faith. The church
has a powerful judicial authority under God.
Generally speaking, we have failed to exercise this
responsibility, but it is provided for in scripture.
3. The judgment of God Himself
We have seen by the illustrations that have been
given that God’s dealings can continue even after
forgiveness has been granted. We read this in
Hebrews:
For we know him who said, “It is
mine to avenge; I will repay,” and
again, “The Lord will judge his
people.” It is a dreadful thing to fall

93
 into the hands of the living God.
(Hebrews 10:30–31)
This warning is written to Christians! If we wish to
escape from the judicial hand of God, it is not only a
matter of receiving His mercy and forgiveness, but
we must also humble ourselves by allowing
judgment, through the conviction of the Holy Spirit
or admonition of other Christians. We must also be
open, if necessary, for judgment by the church,
always recognizing that unless we do so, the
judgment of God upon us will continue.

The church has a powerful

judicial authority under God.

What has been said in the preceding paragraph must

be emphasized, because it is always God’s desire to
restore people to right relationship with one another
and also with Him.
The apostle Paul taught clearly that there was to be
restoration after judgment. I am glad we have a God
like this because who of us would want to punish
our child week after week or month after month?
Punishment of a child may be necessary because of
a rebellious attitude, disobedience, or carelessness,
but I am sure that loving people would want
restoration. God does not want to be always
inflicting discipline. God does not want to have His
family under a heavy hand of judgment! His desire
is that we should walk in joyous fellowship with
Him. We can do that by living in the light of God’s
Word.

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Restoration after Judgment
Consider two passages in the letter to the
Corinthians:
It is actually reported that there is
sexual immorality among you, and of
a kind that does not occur even
among pagans: A man has his
father’s wife.
And you are proud! Shouldn’t you
rather have been filled with grief and
have put out of your fellowship the
man who did this?
Even though I am not physically
present, I am with you in spirit. And I
have already passed judgment on
the one who did this, just as if I were
present.
When you are assembled in the
name of our Lord Jesus and I am with
you in spirit, and the power of our
Lord Jesus is present, hand this man
over to Satan, so that the sinful
nature may be destroyed and his
spirit saved on the day of the Lord.
(1 Corinthians 5:1–5)
This scripture tells of the disciplinary action against
a man who was immoral, but a member of the
church. The instruction was to deliver him to Satan,
for the destruction of his flesh. When we come to
Paul’s second letter to the Corinthian church we

95
find, however, that Paul is urging restoration for this
man:
The punishment inflicted on him by
the majority is sufficient for him.
Now instead, you ought to forgive
and comfort him, so that he will not
be overwhelmed by excessive
sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to
reaffirm your love for him. (2
Corinthians 2:6–8)
We now see the church members being encouraged
to restore the one who had sinned, and to comfort
and love him. There is a need for us to be totally
honest in applying the principles of God’s Word. If
we want genuine forgiveness, let us realize that
much more is involved than just ignoring the sin
that has been committed.
The church has a reputation for killing off its
wounded! One of the greatest blessings we can
receive is to see a person who has failed being fully
restored. I remember hearing this quote, “We are not
failures because we fail; we are only failures when
we stop trying.”
The Bible is a book of restoration. I know many
people who have failed badly in their personal lives,
but I have also seen some of them humble
themselves, take the appropriate discipline which
was given, maintain a humble and repentant
attitude, and be fully restored to positions of
responsibility and blessing.

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 If we want genuine forgiveness, let us
realize that more is involved than ignoring
the sin that has been committed.

God is merciful and forgiving, but it is possible to

remain under His judgment although our
relationship with Him has been restored. God’s
desire, however, is not only to restore us to
fellowship with Him but also that we might enjoy
the benefits of full pardon through the discipline we
receive. When sin is acknowledged and discipline
accepted, then the conditions have been established
for full restoration to take place.
Judgment and discipline are essential conditions
before the full provisions of forgiveness and pardon
are enjoyed by the Christian who has willfully
sinned.

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 Chapter 4
Forgiveness in New Testament

We come now to the words of the Master Teacher

Himself, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Forgiven As We Forgive?
What Jesus taught is found in the Sermon on the
Mount, Matthew 5–7, and also in the different
parables He told. We have shown in the course of
this study that God is forgiving. There is no question
about that! We do have a wonderful God who
forgives, but it is possible for certain consequences
to continue even after we have been forgiven. The
way to deal with these consequences is by humbling
ourselves, judging ourselves, allowing the judgment
of the church as provided for in scripture if that is
necessary, and recognizing God’s right to judge and
discipline us through the direction of the Holy
Spirit. Some consequences may continue, but by
meeting the biblical requirements we can lessen the
penalties which otherwise might apply.
Our Heavenly Father has a right to exercise a
disciplinary hand upon those who belong to His
family, so even after God has restored us to
fellowship with Him, He may continue to take
restrictive action against us until such time as we
have proved ourselves by obedience to His Word.

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God alone is the judge of this, so we must maintain
a submissive attitude at all times.
Perhaps the most challenging aspect of this subject
is the application of forgiveness between
individuals. As Christians we are called upon to
forgive others, so the question arises concerning the
effect that our forgiving or failure to forgive has
upon God’s forgiveness of us. In other words, to
what extent does our response to the command to
forgive others reflect on the forgiveness we receive
from God?
There are some important comparative scriptures
that need to be examined. The first is found in the
Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus said:
“For if you forgive men when they
sin against you, your heavenly
Father will also forgive you.
“But if you do not forgive men their
sins, your Father will not forgive your
sins.” (Matthew 6:14–15)
This is a very strong statement by Jesus and we need
to understand the full implication of these words.
The second reference is found in Mark’s gospel:
And when you stand praying, if you
hold anything against anyone,
forgive him, so that your Father in
heaven may forgive you your sins.
(Mark 11:25–26)
The third reference is found in Luke’s gospel:

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 Forgive us our sins, for we also
forgive everyone who sins against
us. And lead us not into temptation.
(Luke 11:4)
There are many people who misunderstand these
scriptures, and read into them an obligation that they
often find impossible to fulfill. This leads them
either into condemnation or pretence. There is a
depth of meaning in these verses that we must
understand in order to find a clear answer. A casual
reading of these passages could leave a person
thinking that he would be forgiven by God only to
the extent that he was willing or able to forgive
another. That is true in a certain aspect but it must
be qualified.
There are also those people who gain a certain
spiritual satisfaction from forgiving others for their
failures but never look at their own bad behavior or
realize that most of the difficulties begin with them
and not with those they are anxious to forgive! This
will be discussed in the next chapter.

Grace or Works?
If our concept of forgiveness includes the provision
of pardon, then the question would immediately
arise as to who would be saved if our salvation
depended upon the extent to which we from the
heart forgave others? Was Jesus dealing with the
question of the forgiveness that relates to salvation,
and which includes pardon, or some other aspect of
forgiveness?

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Over many years of counseling, I have found that
people have deep hurts and problems in their lives
related to the issues of forgiveness and
unforgiveness. Most of them have been committed
Christians and many were baptized with the Holy
Spirit and were active in church life. They loved
God, and yet they made such statements as this; “I
have been so hurt and wounded emotionally and
mentally that I find it impossible to forgive.” The
hurt may have been caused by a parent, or someone
else close to them, and they were unable to forgive
that person.

Who would be saved !f our salvation

depended upon the extent to which we from
the heart forgave others?

Was I dealing with a person who was outside of the

salvation of Christ, because Jesus said that if we do
not forgive one another then our Heavenly Father
will not forgive us? Let me include another
illustration from my personal experience.
Before becoming Christians, a husband and wife
had experienced a stormy and largely unhappy
marriage. There were constant confrontations and
angry words that had left bitter hurts. When they
accepted Christ, a new love and understanding
developed but problems remained over matters of
money and other frustrations that had also arisen in
their relationship.
I spent many hours with them in counseling and
advice on budgeting and in other areas where
difficulties occurred, and although these matters
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seemed to become resolved, it was never long
before another crisis arose. There are always two
sides to any story, but I had no doubt that the major
problems occurred because of the husband’s
demanding and obstinate attitude. He developed
some deviant ways which added to the pressures in
the home, and in desperation the wife left the house
in the hope that a trial separation might help solve
the problems.
We continued the counseling, and I appointed others
to take a more detailed oversight, but although the
husband showed repentance, it was not long before
his old ways and attitudes returned. Separation and
reconciliation occurred again and again with the
wife wanting to do the right thing, but finding that
conditions always became intolerable. Finally she
could take no more! Some serious events had taken
place in the husband’s conduct that made it
impossible for me to insist that the wife should
return to her husband, and as she had tried so often
before, she had now reached the end of her ability to
forgive and be reconciled.
The husband continued to demand reconciliation,
but the wife could not face the prospect of again
going through the emotionally destroying
experiences that she had suffered so often before.
The husband sued for divorce. Some Christians
would ask whether the woman had endangered her
salvation? The answer to this question is no. The
woman’s refusal to return to her husband did not
endanger her salvation, but her refusal to forgive her
husband could lead to other problems which would
reduce her spiritual effectiveness.
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Many people live with guilt and are under
condemnation because they cannot forgive. The
hurts they have suffered are genuine. They may
have been greatly wronged; perhaps someone had
taken advantage of them when they were children.
Serious cases of child abuse are now regularly being
exposed. Marriages may have broken down, or
friends may have betrayed the trust put in them.
People have been in a position emotionally where
they have been so hurt that they did not know how
to forgive. As a result they have been under a great
sense of guilt and fear. With many such people there
is also a deep inner bitterness.
The Bible warns that we must be careful lest a root
of bitterness springs up and defiles us, and
unforgiveness is the cause of this root of bitterness.
It can cloud reality, distort thinking, and lead to
severe emotional instability. Deep within these
people who wanted to love and serve God were
hurts that created anger, fear, resentment, and guilt.
Unresolved pain and unforgiveness can lead to
doubts as to whether they were in right relationship
with God in regard to their salvation.

Many people live with guilt and under

condemnation because they cannot forgive.

Prior to the divorce proceedings of the afore-

mentioned couple, many vindictive actions had been
taken by the husband towards his estranged wife.
Facts were distorted and information was given to
other people who should not have been involved.
The wife was deeply hurt, and I can understand how

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hard it must have been for her to face false
accusations. It is easy to sit in an Ivory Tower and
demand what should be done in particular
circumstances, but when one is in the midst of a
problem like this, it is extremely difficult to
genuinely forgive. The home life was ruined!
All this time, the woman had maintained her
church fellowship and I have no doubt that
her eternal salvation was secure, in spite of
the tremendous inner battle she was
enduring. I now quote from a written
testimony which she gave to me: Forgive
your husband.” The words seemed so clear
although there was no audible voice. It was a
time when I was seeking the Lord for an
answer to false accusations being made
against me. I had lost some of my joy and
peace but did not think that I had been
harboring unforgiveness in my heart towards
my former husband.
The words rang through my mind and I felt
an inner shock. I suddenly realized that I had
been sinning against God and I asked for His
forgiveness. Then I said to the Lord that I
would sincerely forgive my husband, but I
knew that I would also need to go and see
him and put matters right. I acted quickly
and went to see him. Not only did he receive
my confession and expression of
forgiveness, but we exchanged mutual
forgiveness and love and peace towards each
other which only the Holy Spirit could have
made possible.
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 I instantly found a new sense of God’s love
and His joy and peace.
I would have liked to have been able to say that this
marriage was saved and restored, but that did not
occur. The second best took place and the two
people found a place of sincere forgiveness of each
other although they could not face the prospect of
continuing with their marriage. God hates divorce,
but sometimes every effort seems to fail in getting
diverse people to live in harmony and we have to
accept the reality of separation. I do not believe that
this failure is due to the lack of power that the Lord
provides, but is due to our human inability to
appropriate the fullness of what is provided through
the Holy Spirit.
In counseling with people who have gone through
marriage problems similar to this, I agree that
situations can become so ugly when one party does
not want to change, that the other party has no
option but to finally get out of the marriage for his
or her own sanity and health. There are times when
the scripture tells us to Shake the dust off your
feet (Matthew 10:14). We must, however,
genuinely try, and try hard, before we resort to an
action that is essentially against that which God
desires.
I am not prepared to say that a problem is hopeless.
I believe in the power of hope and consider that we
should hold to our hopes even in the most difficult
circumstances, until we are absolutely sure that the
door to a particular hope has been finally closed.
Then we must allow the Holy Spirit to put new hope

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back into our hearts and minds and press forward in
our lives, and in the fulfillment of God’s plan for us.
The difficulty in genuinely forgiving is a very real
dilemma that is faced by many people, and they
have been afraid to speak about it. I have discovered
that many people go through serious crises in their
spiritual lives, but are afraid to talk about problems
as they feel they are the only ones with the
particular problem. By sharing their difficulty with
someone else they feel inferior as Christians, and
Satan delights in deceiving sincere believers in such
a manner. We all face these challenges and need to
understand how they can be combated and
overcome. To do this we must understand the real
meaning of forgiveness and what is involved when
we forgive. Let us consider these points.
If our salvation is dependent upon our ability to
completely forgive others from the heart, then the
salvation of many born again and Spirit-filled
Christians would be in doubt, because unforgiveness
is, without question, a problem in the church.
If our salvation depends on our ability to completely
forgive others from the heart, then where does the
Bible truth of justification by faith stand?
Are we justified by our faith in Christ plus our
ability to forgive another person or are we justified
before a holy God because of the provisions of
Calvary and the blood of Jesus Christ alone? The
Word of God tells us that we are saved by grace
through faith, an act of repentance and confession of
our sin, not because of an ability to forgive another
who may have seriously wronged us.
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The Need to Forgive
In saying these things, we are not for one moment
minimizing the need to forgive one another, but we
are putting the Bible teaching concerning
forgiveness into a right perspective. It needs to be
strongly emphasized that we are now referring to the
question of forgiving one another only in regard to
how it affects our salvation.
Salvation is an act of mercy by a loving God which
incorporates His mercy, forgiveness, and pardon.
The benefits of salvation are bestowed upon us as a
result of grace, and grace alone. Our salvation,
therefore, is not dependent upon our ability to
forgive another person who has wronged us, but is
dependent entirely on the grace of God and the
response of our hearts in repentance and confession.

We are saved by grace through faith, by an

act of repentance and confession of our sin,
not because of an ability to forgive another
who may have seriously wronged us.

I am not condoning unforgiveness! Jesus taught that

we must forgive one another. There is a desperate
need for individual Christians to learn to forgive one
another. Many people are in serious turmoil
spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically,
because they have been unwilling to forgive. The
hurts they have suffered have been so deep that they
say they are unable to forgive. Mostly, this inability
is due to unwillingness to forgive, but other times it
is due to not knowing how to begin to forgive. The

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task is too great for them and they do not know that
showing mercy is the first step to forgiveness.
Perhaps, because of unforgiveness, a demonic spirit
has gained a hold so that the person finds he is
powerless in the battle to become willing to forgive.
His will to genuinely forgive has become so gripped
by Satan’s power, that he fails to do what he knows
should be done. A person in this condition may need
special prayer for deliverance.

We are not condoning unforgiveness! Jesus

taught that we must forgive one another.

Generally speaking, however, all unforgiveness is

due, at least in the first instance, to an unwillingness
or ignorance of how to forgive. None of us can say
that we are unable to forgive, because the Word of
God tells us that we are to forgive. It would be a
contradiction in terms to say that the Bible tells us to
forgive but that really it is impossible to do so. If the
Bible declares that we are to forgive one another,
then obviously this is what we should do and what
we are able to do if we know the steps. Forgiveness
has to do with heart attitude. We have already said
that forgiveness involves the dismissal of
resentment or displeasure.
I was given this personal testimony:
My childhood was mainly unhappy because
of the constant arguing of my father and
mother. It was not until my early teens that I
began to realize the great pressure that my
mother suffered because of the heavy

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drinking habits of my father and his
infidelity with other women. I loved my
father and there were some happy family
times, but they were short-lived. In my mid-
teens, my father left home to live with
another woman and an added financial strain
was placed upon our family.
As I grew older and married, I just wanted to
put my father out of my mind altogether, and
I had no desire to see him again. I thought
that “forgetting” would solve the problem of
the deep hurt I had suffered because of a
broken home. The years passed by but I did
not realize that there was really a deep
unforgiveness and bitterness still existing
within me towards my father. During this
time, God was blessing our lives and my
husband and I had come into new
experiences of God’s provision and
empowering.
A telephone call shattered my life! My
brother whom I loved dearly had been killed
in an accident. My husband and I flew the
long distance back to my home-city for the
funeral. As I stepped from the aircraft, the
first person I saw was my father. My
emotions were in turmoil, but we embraced
and something happened inside me. My
father was a broken man – devastated by the
death of the son he had mainly neglected –
and I felt compassion and forgiveness
welling up within me.

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 We were able to visit him later and I found
all my old hurts and displeasure were gone.
Sorrow and disappointment remained, but I
found a new peace and contentment. I
discovered that trying to forget was very
different than forgiving.

Do We Deserve Forgiveness?
There are practical ways to overcome the problem
of forgiving others. We must face up to the fact that
we did not deserve anything from God ourselves,
except judgment, but He forgave us. He also went
beyond forgiveness and pardoned us as well. He
took away the guilt and penalty of our sins so we are
debtors to the mercy and grace of God. Everyone
who has made a commitment of his life to Jesus
Christ is a debtor to the grace, mercy, and
forgiveness of God. If God forgave us a debt beyond
our ability to pay, then it is a comparatively small
thing for us to forgive another some trespass against
us, because any wrong that is done to us could never
compare with the wrong that we have done to God.
That may be hard for a person to accept when they
are hurting! We feel our own hurts very deeply and
our human minds can be very self-centered. This is
why the Bible stresses the need for the mind to be
renewed and protected, otherwise our feelings will
distort our ability to objectively accept the truth of
what the Bible says.
It was our sin that made the sacrifice of Christ
necessary. It was the sin of mankind, and the sin that
we have committed, that made it necessary for

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Christ to be separated from His Father and suffer
and die. The hurts that we have suffered from others
are so small compared to the enormity of our sin
against God. When we think about this objectively
we know it is true, but it is hard to view our
circumstances objectively when we are in distress. It
is only after we have begun to heal and get hold of
life again that we realize the enormity of our sin
against God, others and ourselves. We sin against
ourselves when we revel in pain and we sin against
our Creator when we do not allow Him to heal us
and guide us into wholeness in spirit, soul, and
body.
We need to come to a practical realization of the
effects of our sins toward others and toward God,
because it will help us to forgive the transgressions
of others against us. In the parable of the
Unmerciful Servant, which we have already referred
to and which is found in Matthew 18, this principle
is very clearly shown. The truths contained in this
story are so important.
The first servant was forgiven a great debt, but he in
turn refused to show any mercy to a fellow-servant
who owed him a very small amount. When the
master of both of those servants discovered what
had been done, he revoked the mercy, forgiveness,
and pardon that he had shown to the first servant.

There are practical ways to overcome the

problem of forgiving others.

When we fail to respond with the same kind of

understanding that has been given to us we are in
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danger of losing what we ourselves have received.
No one could doubt the justice of that! It is not
strange that if God has forgiven us a great debt then
He would expect us to forgive others a very much
smaller debt, irrespective of how serious we may
consider it to be. In comparison with what God has
forgiven us and the penalty that our failure rightly
deserves, any forgiveness expected from us would
have to be insignificant.

Delivered to the Tormentors!

The King James Version of the Bible uses graphic
language in describing the action of the master in
dealing with the unmerciful servant. It says, He
delivered him to the tormentors! The NW
says, In anger his master turned him over
to the jailers until he should pay back all
he owed. (Matthew 18:34). The next verse
makes this unequivocal statement: This is how
my heavenly Father will treat each of you
unless you forgive your brother from your
heart. (Matthew 18:35)
That should be enough to put the fear of God into
our hearts! I think it would be sobering for us to
remember the words of the KJV as the phrase “the
tormentors expresses what so often happens to those
who refuse to forgive. The parable of the
Unmerciful Servant cannot be interpreted to mean a
loss of salvation to the first servant. The unjust
servant was delivered to the tormentors, he was not
delivered to the executioners! It is not necessary to
try to explain why this translation was given in the

112
KJV but the word “torment” can refer to mental
anguish, agony, torture, or intense bodily pain. This
was the ultimate result for the unmerciful servant.
We might add that he deserved it because of his
grossly selfish and uncaring attitude. But are we
also guilty of such conduct?
A friend who had suffered for years because of the
struggle to forgive wrote this comment to me,
“When we do not, or cannot forgive we suffer
mental anguish, sometimes physical anguish, and
eventual spiritual decay.”

God in Christ not only forgave but pardoned

us. In comparison to this, how small are the
wrongs that we have suffered.

My experience in dealing with people confirm that

many are literally in torment because they will not
forgive. They wonder about the origin of many of
their problems, but so often it is because they will
not forgive. They are still saved by the grace of God
and cleansed of their sin by the blood of Christ, but
they are in the hands of the tormentors because they
will not forgive another, as God has forgiven them.
Let me give this illustration. I do not think that I can
remember a person more fearful, tormented, and
erratic in her Christian life as this particular woman.
There were occasions when she seemed to radiate
Christ – days when she was exuberant and joyous –
then the crash would come! She became moody,
suspicious, negative, and even vindictive. She was a
woman with ability and a good job, and at times her

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spiritual life would reach a peak of victory, but more
often she would be in hopeless despair.
There were times when we wondered about her
mental stability, but that was not the problem; she
simply refused to forgive. The slightest incident
would be interpreted as a major slight. The actions
of friends would be treated as personal insults if
they did not meet with her pleasure. She held
grudges, dislikes, and resentment, and at times
would completely ignore her friends if she was
upset by some incident. I never heard her apologize;
she just pretended nothing had happened after her
black mood had passed.
I believe she really loved God, but she was never
really willing to forgive. Her Christian life
continued in this way until I finally lost contact with
her when she left the church. By constant violation
of the command of Jesus to forgive others, this
woman was in regular mental and emotional
torment.
When we forgive others we receive a positive
benefit ourselves. When we hold unforgiveness
toward others we become their slave as the wrong
they have done to us is constantly on our mind.
Forgiving another person is a liberating experience
for us. But we find it hard to forgive because we
don’t understand God’s role with regard to pardon.
Our responsibility is to be merciful toward the one
who has wronged us and to be willing to dismiss
from our heart the resentment we feel. We can do
this by praying in a positive way for the person who
has offended us. Jesus told us to love our enemies
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and to pray for those who persecute us (Matthew
5:44). Do not underestimate the work of the Holy
Spirit as we take steps to act in obedience to God’s
Word. Our first steps may be reluctant and feeble
but the Holy Spirit responds by helping us. The
apostle Paul said we do not even know how we
ought to pray, but the Holy Spirit himself intercedes
for us (Romans 8:26).

My experience in dealing with people

confirms that many are literally in torment
because they will not forgive.

What God extends to us, He expects us to extend

within the scope of our authority, to others. The
extent of our authority and the command to us from
the Lord is to be merciful and forgiving at all times.
It is not our right or prerogative to pardon. This
right belongs to God!

Forgiveness – Conditional or
Unconditional?
There is another major aspect. It is that God imposes
conditions before forgiveness can be received.
These conditions are quite clear. The first is
repentance and the second is confession. God only
forgives on the basis of these two conditions. If we
repent and confess, then He will forgive. Our
continuing fellowship with God is adversely
affected by any sin, any falling short of or missing
the mark that God requires for our lives. Holding
bitterness or resentment is a clear violation of God’s
Word. If these are in our hearts toward other people,
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then our fellowship with God is interrupted. We are
no longer walking in the light in regard to our
fellowship with God.
It is interesting to note that in the Amplified Version
of Matthew 6:14–15 relating to forgiving one
another, the words “giving up resentment” are used.
This is the snare that believers in Christ constantly
face. We are unwilling to, or do not know how to
give up resentment, but we do not realize that we
are placing ourselves in the hands of the
“tormentors”. Our salvation through Jesus is still a
reality, but we lose the sense of the nearness of the
Lord.
This leads us to a very important truth. God’s heart
is always open to forgive, so God requires any
believer to have a similar heart attitude of
willingness to forgive others irrespective of what
has been done to him. There are no exceptions, we
must have a heart attitude that is open to forgiveness
and believe that God will impart the needed grace to
do so.

It is not our right or prerogative to pardon.

This right belongs to God.

Let me confirm that God’s forgiveness requires

confession by the one who has sinned:
If we confess our sins, he is faithful
and just and will forgive us our sins
and purify us from all
unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

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In other words, God will forgive us and restore us to
fellowship with Him if we confess what we have
done. Confession is of no value unless there is
sincere sorrow for the failure, so this scripture
presupposes that there has been true repentance
before the confession is made. These are the
unchanging grounds for forgiveness to be
completed. Surely God does not require a believer
to operate on a higher standard than He does? Do
you think that God would expect us to have a higher
level of conduct than Himself?

We are unwilling to give up resentment, but

we do not realize that we are placing
ourselves in the hands of the “tormentors”.

If God’s forgiveness of us is not unconditional, then

is our forgiveness of one another unconditional?
The way we often act would make it seem that this
was so! We want others to forgive and forget that
we have done wrong to them by our acting as if
nothing had happened. This does not work, and it
does not produce genuine forgiveness as far as God
is concerned.
I need to again quote the significant teaching by
Jesus that we have considered in an earlier chapter,
as this is vital in understanding that forgiveness
between one another is not unconditional:
If your brother sins against you, go
and show him his fault, just between
the two of you. (Matthew 18:15)

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This command by Jesus is probably disobeyed more
than any other one. We talk to other people about
what we consider the wrong done to us, we gossip,
we criticize, but seldom do we go and see the one
with whom we have the fault. Jesus made it plain
that the right course was to go direct to the person
concerned and in doing this we may win our brother
and the matter may be resolved. If having done this,
he will not hear us, then we are to take one or two
others and go to him to confirm what is being said,
if then, even with the witnesses to the problem, the
brother is still unwilling to listen, the issue is to go
before the church.
Seldom, however, do we find that the church is
willing to be involved in such personal matters, but
Jesus has invested authority in the church, and the
church has a vital part to play in reconciliation
between conflicting members.
It is easy to reason that it is better to let an issue
drop rather than beat a dead horse, but so often the
unresolved problem remains like a cancer that is
slowly eating away the body. Unresolved problems
have a habit of exploding with a much more
devastating result than the pain caused in trying to
deal with them at the time they arise.
Following this teaching with the three clear steps for
forgiveness, Peter came to Jesus and asked him a
specific question:
Lord, how many times shall I forgive
my brother when he sins against
me? Up to seven times? (Matthew
18:21)
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I am sure that Peter thought that he was being
especially gracious and spiritual as he asked that
question. Up to seven times seemed a major
concession because the oral law of the scribes and
Pharisees provided that forgiveness be given only
three times. To forgive three times was not part of
the law of Moses, but it was part of the tradition that
had been added to the law. It was a big step for
Peter to be willing to forgive seven times! He must
have been amazed by the reply given by Jesus:
I tell you, not seven times, but
seventy-seven times. (Matthew
18:22)
It is interesting to note that in the KJV Jesus is
stated as saying to forgive seventy times seven!
Whatever translation is accepted, it seems obvious
that Jesus was telling Peter that there is no limit to
how often one should forgive. However, in the light
of what Jesus had been saying in the previous
verses, the person at fault was required to
acknowledge his failure. If that was not done after
the three procedures had been followed, then the
penalty is quite clear:
If he refuses to listen even to the
church, treat him as you would a
pagan or a tax collector. -(Matthew
18:17)

God says that if we repent and confess, He

will restore us to fellowship with Himself

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On many occasions I have had to deal with men and
women whose attitudes and conduct have been
wrong. Sometimes these people have been in
positions of leadership and responsibility. Individual
counseling was unsuccessful. Times of discussion
with one or two others or even with an Eldership
failed to gain a right response. What should have
happened then? According to the teaching of Jesus,
the matter should then have been taken before the
whole church! Seldom does the church make
provision for such an action. Perhaps we have been
afraid to air dirty linen in front of the congregation
and so have allowed a person to slip out of church
life, often leaving the impression that the leadership
and not the person was at fault!
The next news we have is that the person concerned
has been given a position of responsibility in
another church and his wrong action or attitude has
not been dealt with. I have known men to go from a
position of authority in one church to a leadership
position in another church or Christian activity,
leaving behind a total violation of these principles.
It is true that Jesus said we were to forgive one
another, but He laid down clear rules as to what was
to be done if a fault arose between brethren, and
how they were to respond. And if they did not do so,
then they were to be rejected from fellowship with
other believers, not given a leadership role in some
other sphere.
We have already seen that Jesus told Peter that
forgiveness was not to be limited to a certain
number of times. It would also help us to compare

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what Jesus said to Peter with the words of the Lord
recorded in Luke’s gospel:
If your brother sins, rebuke him, and
if he repents, forgive him. If he sins
against you seven times in a day,
and seven times comes back to you
and says, “I repent, forgive him.”
(Luke 17:3–4)
This is a significant addition to what we have in
Matthew’s gospel. When people sin against us we
don’t just become a door mat and allow ourselves to
be walked on! Jesus included the very important
statement just mentioned, “If your brother sins,
rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.” There
are two vital actions; rebuke the one who has sinned
and forgive him if he repents!
It was as a result of these words of Jesus that the
disciples said to the Lord, “increase our faith”
(Luke 17:5). The increase of faith was not for
performing miracles but for the ability to repeatedly
forgive. I am sure that we would feel the same
Let me summarize the situation, the brother who has
sinned is first to come and repent. If there is
repentance, then there are no grounds on which a
Christian can hold any hurt or resentment.
Repentance must bring forth the response of
forgiveness. There must always be, however, even
before repentance is expressed, a willingness to
forgive, but the forgiveness cannot be completed
unless there is repentance by the one who has
caused the offence. Here we have the same

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consistent grounds for the completion of genuine
forgiveness: repentance and confession.
There are two important categories to consider. The
first one is those who are Christians, and where one
has offended against another but repented. This
situation often arises in church life. Someone has
grieved another but comes and acknowledges the
fault and repents. Forgiveness in such circumstances
is to be unconditional. We have no scriptural
grounds for retaining any wrong attitude or ill-will
towards a person who has repented. Even if the
offence is repeated, and the person once more
repents, then Jesus said that he must be forgiven.
There is no limit to forgiveness if repentance is
shown, no matter how often one person fails
another.

The increase of faith was not for performing

miracles but for the ability
to repeatedly forgive.

Forgiveness and Trust

Jesus did not say that we were to have the same
confidence or trust in the person, but He did say that
we must forgive. We have seen previously that it is
possible to have fellowship restored and to forgive a
person from the heart and yet still not have the same
total trust or confidence in him because credibility
has to be restored. This is a different matter
altogether than holding unforgiveness.
The second category is when a person who has
sinned against another does not repent. What

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happens in this case? The problem is that not many
people come and say that they are sorry when an
offence has been committed. Some people try to
pretend that nothing has happened. They just want
to forget about it. They try to renew the relationship
from where the problem occurred, because they will
not humble themselves and apologize.
So what do we do? This is a problem that always
seems to be with us. We can only appeal to the first
set of scriptures that give a general command to
forgive. Our attitude must always be one of
willingness to forgive, whether a person repents or
not. We have the responsibility to dismiss any
bitterness or resentment that we may feel
irrespective of how the offender subsequently acts.
If the person does not repent, then forgiveness has
not been completed as far as it relates to him. He is
in trouble, not with us but with God. These are not
our rules they are God’s!

We have no scriptural grounds for retaining

any wrong attitude or ill-will towards a
person who has repented.

When a person does not take the initiative to put

right a wrong, he remains under the “tormentors’.
The person who suffers is not the one offended
against, but the one who has offended, because he
remains under God’s judgment. This will continue
until he has humbled himself and complied with the
obligation to repent and confess.
None of us is ever free of this obligation. It applies
to our relationship with God and it applies to our
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relationship with one another. If we have sinned a
specific confession is required. It is not sufficient at
the end of a day to pray a general prayer asking for
forgiveness. It is not as easy as that!
We need to face the reality of the principles with
which we are dealing. When we know that we have
deliberately disobeyed God’s Word, we need to face
up to it and confess it by name. God can then
cleanse us and restore us to fellowship. It is the
same with one another. It may first be necessary to
put something right with another person or make
restitution, but we must take the step to expose the
problem and deal with it.
Forgiveness which must be offered at all times, is
only consummated – brought to completion and
perfection – when the offender repents and
confesses.

Not many people come and say they are

sorry when an offence has been committed.

Our danger is, that as the offended party, we can be

so concerned with our brother’s trespass against us
that we fall into the sin of being unmerciful towards
him. We fail to remember the mercy of God that has
first been received by us. Jesus said that those who
had been forgiven much would love much. In
Luke’s gospel we have these words to Simon Peter:
Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have
something to tell you.”
“Tell me teacher,” he said.

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 “Two men owed money to a certain
moneylender. One owed him five
hundred denarii, and the other fifty.
Neither of them had the money to
pay him back so he cancelled the
debts of both. Now which of them
will love him more?”
Simon replied, “I suppose the one
who had the bigger debt cancelled.”
“You have judged correctly,” Jesus
said. (Luke 7:40–43)
When we have been forgiven much, then we in turn
should be prepared to forgive much.

Genuine Forgiveness
I want to give two examples from the Bible that
illustrate the heart attitude of forgiveness. The first
concerns the crucifixion of Jesus:
When they came to the place called
The Skull, there they crucified him,
along with the criminals – one on his
right, the other on his left.
Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for
they do not know what they are
doing. “ And they divided up his
clothes by casting lots. (Luke 23:33–
34)
Jesus had been unjustly tried, tortured, and now was
dying. Let me ask a question. Were all those
associated with the crucifixion forgiven? When

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Jesus said, Father forgive them, did this mean that
all the Roman soldiers, the chief priest, Pilate, and
the other perpetrators of this crime were instantly
forgiven? No! Jesus was demonstrating a heart
attitude of willingness to forgive towards those who
had falsely accused Him and nailed Him to the
Cross. In doing this Jesus kept His fellowship with
God in perfect harmony. Probably those people
concerned would not have been forgiven by God
until each one personally repented and confessed the
sin of which he was guilty.

When we have been forgiven much, then we

in turn should be prepared to forgive much.

The second example concerns Stephen who was the

first man to die because of his faith in Jesus Christ:
While they were stoning him,
Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive
my spirit.”
Then he fell on his knees and cried
out, “Lord do not hold this sin
against them.” When he had said
this, he fell asleep. (Acts 7:59–60)
We need to ask the same question. Were all those
who were stoning Stephen to death forgiven? Were
they judged not guilty by God because of Stephen’s
prayer? No! But Stephen was demonstrating a heart
attitude of willingness to forgive, even towards
those who were murdering him. By this prayer
Stephen’s fellowship with God was unimpaired. All
of those involved in killing Stephen would have

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needed to personally repent and confess in order to
be forgiven, just as Saul, the man who later became
the apostle Paul, did.
Jesus often denounced the scribes and Pharisees yet
as He came near to the end of His earthly ministry
He stood looking down on Jerusalem and said:
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill
the prophets and stone those sent to
you, how often I have longed to
gather your children together, as a
hen gathers her chicks under her
wings, but you were not willing.
(Matthew 23:37)
Once again we see from Jesus a heart attitude of a
willingness to forgive in spite of the rejection He
had received, but for that forgiveness to have a
practical application in the lives of those concerned,
each would have to make a personal response.
Even Judas, the disciple who was with Jesus for
more than three years and then betrayed Him, did
not receive condemnation from the Lord. Jesus
maintained an attitude of willingness to forgive at
all times. An attitude like this guarantees continuing
fellowship with God.

Stephen was demonstrating a heart attitude

of willingness to forgive, even towards
those who were murdering him.

In summary, lack of repentance and lack of

forgiveness between believers does not negate their
salvation, but it puts them in the position where God
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is dealing judgmentally with them. This can result in
loss of peace and assurance in their salvation.
Forgiveness does not mean pardon. Pardon is God’s
responsibility. If someone has wronged us, and he or
she asks to be forgiven, then we must forgive him or
her without reservation. If there is any continuing
judicial dealing of God applying to that person, then
that is God’s responsibility, not ours. Repentance
and confession are always essential elements in true
forgiveness, but God requires a forgiving heart
attitude from us at all times.
We are to love one another. We have been forgiven
much; we have received the mercy and pardon of
God and we should be delighted to extend the same
grace to others. In a hymn written by Wm R. Newell
the chorus says:
Mercy there was great and grace was free,
Pardon there was multiplied to me,
There my burdened soul found liberty
At Calvary!
If we have experienced forgiveness like this, then
we must be willing to forgive another person who
has wronged us. Even if the other person is totally at
fault, our heart attitude must still be to forgive.
There are usually two sides to every dispute or
difference of opinion, but even if we are l00% right
and the other person is 100% wrong, we must be
willing to forgive that person without any
resentment remaining. Forgiveness means “to
excuse’. We must excuse or dismiss the complaint
which we have.

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God’s actions apply in two ways. If we are in the
right but are not willing to forgive, we come under
God’s discipline. If we are in the wrong but will not
repent and confess, we also come under God’s
discipline. We can have the situation where both the
one who is right and the one who is wrong are under
God’s judgment because they will not have the right
attitude or will not take the right action.
In other words, both the unforgiving and the
unrepentant suffer the consequences of their own
disobedience to the principles of God’s Word.

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 Chapter 5
Sowing and Reaping

Our studies so far have made clear from scripture

that although mercy and forgiveness and some
degree of pardon have been extended by God that it
is possible to continue to suffer the consequences of
sin and failure. This was illustrated in a previous
chapter from the life of King David who, although
sincerely and genuinely repenting of the sin he had
committed, and who was forgiven and restored to
fellowship with God, remained under a temporal
judgment of God. David wrote after he had
repented, of the blessing for the man whose
transgressions were forgiven and whose sin the Lord
did not count against him (Psalm 32:1–2), yet God
had declared that the “sword would never depart
from his house” (2 Samuel 12:10). It is important as
we continue to study the subject of biblical
forgiveness that we remember this principle.

A Creative Principle
It is necessary to elaborate on this aspect. God has
built into life a creative principle that is known as
“sowing and reaping”. In a natural way, it applies to
crops and the plants that we grow. We must first
sow before we can reap. We will never obtain a
harvest of wheat or any other grain or plant if we do
not first sow the seed. We will not get the
vegetables we enjoy and need for good health if the
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seeds are not planted. This is true in a natural way
and it is also true spiritually with regard to our daily
actions.
Reaping what we have sown can continue, even
after forgiveness has been received from God, or
even when it has been received from man. I want to
refer to some important scriptures:
As I have observed, those who
plough evil and those who sow
trouble reap it. (Job 4:8)
The wicked man earns deceptive
wages, but he who sows
righteousness reaps a sure reward.
(Proverbs 11:18)
He who sows wickedness reaps
trouble, and the rod of his fury will
be destroyed. (Proverbs 22:8)
All of these scriptures are important in recognizing
that we will reap whatever we sow. In the prophecy
of Hosea we read:
They sow the wind and reap the
whirlwind. The stalk has no head; it
will produce no flour. Were it to yield
grain, foreigners would swallow it
up. (Hosea 8:7)
In the same book of the Bible we find this
statement:
Sow for yourselves righteousness,
reap the fruit of unfailing love, and
break up your unplowed ground; for
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 it is time to seek the Lord, until he
comes and showers righteousness
on you.
But you have planted wickedness,
you have reaped evil, you have
eaten the fruit of deception. Because
you have depended on your own
strength and on your many warriors.
(Hosea 10: 12–13)

Reaping what we have sown can continue,

even after forgiveness has been received
from God, or even when it has been
received from man.

All of these scriptures tell us that whatever we are

plowing and sowing will come back to us. If it is
evil and iniquity, or selfishness and pride, the same
will return to us. There is no escape from the divine
principle of reaping what we sow, whether it be in a
natural or spiritual sense!
In Paul’s letter to the Galatians this principle is
again confirmed. The relevant passage begins with
the words, “Do not be deceived” (Galatians
6:7). There are many people today who are
deceived, and they are willing to be deceived,
because they will not accept this clear truth from
God’s Word. Sometimes it seems that God is slow
in acting on what He has said. This is because of His
mercy and His willingness to allow time for
repentance, but inevitably God will act on what He
has said. The verse says:

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 Do not be deceived; God cannot be
mocked. A man reaps what he sows.
The one who sows to please his
sinful nature, from that nature will
reap destruction; the one who sows
to please the Spirit, from the Spirit,
will reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:7-
8)
My father is now deceased, but was eighty-seven
years of age when he died. As a young married man,
in his mid-thirties, he had a personal experience of
receiving Christ as his Savior and Lord, but prior to
this he had no particular involvement with the
church, nor did he have extensive spiritual
knowledge. He worked in a hard environment where
drinking and swearing were a normal part of life.
I am the youngest member of a large family and my
oldest sister, as a small girl walked from our home
to a nearby Baptist church one Sunday morning and
sat on the steps and listened to the congregation
singing. She came home and said to my father,
“Daddy, will you take me to church?”
To humor the little girl he said, “Yes, dear, I’ll do it
next week.” It was just an easy reply for him and not
for one moment did he think that my sister would
remember the promise, but she did! When the
Sunday came, she reminded him, and he reluctantly
honored the promise and took my sister to the
church.
He was deeply moved by the service and returned to
the church that evening with my mother, and at the

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close of the meeting committed his life to Christ. He
remembered only one part of the sermon, the text
from which the minister preached, God is not
mocked, for whatsoever a man soweth that shall he
also reap. My father received Jesus Christ into his
life because of the conviction that came through that
verse of scripture. He realized that he was sowing a
life of self-pleasing and sin, and was suddenly faced
with the fact that he would ultimately reap the same
result if his life did not change. His spiritual
awakening and obedience to the conviction of the
Holy Spirit that night changed the destiny of our
family and ultimately all the family members came
to know the Lord in a personal way.

A man reaps what he sow’s.

Negative and Positive

In all the scriptures that have been quoted, there is a
negative and positive aspect. This is evident
throughout the Word of God. In the verses just
quoted, the negative results are – plough evil and
reap evil. Sow trouble and reap trouble. Sow to the
wind and reap the whirlwind. Plant wickedness and
reap evil. All of these are negative results that arise
out of our own actions.
I want to include another personal experience
concerning a man whom I met on several occasions.
He was part of another church congregation, but
from time-to-time I visited that church and also had
contact with other members of his family. He was
difficult and rigid and seldom smiled although if

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something pleased him, he could be warm and
complimentary. It wasn’t a comforting sight to see
him sitting in the congregation as he listened with a
fixed look on his face. Was he approving or
disapproving? He was even willing to publicly
question a novice preacher in the midst of a sermon
if he disagreed with some statement.
There were times when he could be generous, but he
was feared more than he was liked. How much
happier life could have been for him, but his
negative and often critical attitude caused him to see
the worst rather than the best in most aspects of life.
A church function was planned and excitement and
generosity were the order of the day. This man grew
in his garden a particular vegetable that was
required and a request was made: could he supply
the quantity needed? The need was not large, and
his supply was quite abundant, but when the box of
produce was handed over the demand was made,
“That will be $10”
He died a rather lonely man, devoid of much
friendship that could have been his. The word of
God was a subject of deep interest to him, but what
is the value of knowledge if we cannot implement
it? One can know the words but not know what they
mean! The small gift of vegetables would have been
a minor contribution to that which others of far less
means gladly made, but the incident marked him as
a man lacking in generosity.
Extra money may have been his, but he lost love,
friendship, and respect as a result of his miserly

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spirit. Do we reap what we sow? Of this fact, I have
no doubt!
There is, however, the positive result as well. The
Bible always has a positive provision that releases a
person from a negative penalty into a positive
benefit, so we also have these promises:
The wicked man earns deceptive
wages, but he who sows
righteousness reaps a sure reward.
(Proverbs 11:18)
Sow for yourselves righteousness,
reap the fruit of unfailing love.
(Hosea 10:12)
The one who sows to please his
sinful nature, from that nature will
reap destruction; the one who sows
to please the Spirit will reap eternal
life. (Galatians 6:8)
These are the choices that are laid before us.
Whatever we do in life, from all our attitudes and
actions, will come forth a definite result either for
good or ill. There is no escaping from this. From
everything we sow we will reap, so we have the
choice of whether we want beneficial or harmful
consequences as we proceed through life.

The Word of the Lord always has a positive

provision that releases one from a negative
penalty into a positive benefit.

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Here is an opposite example from the stingy man
just mentioned. It would be hard to imagine a more
generous person than a woman I knew. Nothing was
a trouble, and no sacrifice was too great. In fact, I
am sure she never thought of giving as a sacrifice,
but as a privilege. If someone was sick; dishes of
food would be prepared without any asking. A busy
mother trying to cope with the washing, ironing, and
cooking for a family of six lively, hungry children,
would suddenly hear a knock at the door and there
she would be, ready to do a stint of two hours at the
hot ironing board.
Her company was a joy! Her very presence radiated
warmth and restored strength to those she helped.
She never did manage to accumulate much money
in the bank, but if wealth was measured in
appreciation, love and admiration, she was a
millionaire!
This principle of sowing and reaping continues
throughout scripture, both in the Old Testament and
in the New Testament. The words “sowing and
reaping” may not always be used, but the outcome is
the same.
Think for a moment of the Babylonian king,
Nebuchadnezzar. The Bible tells how this man was
filled with pride and self adulation because of his
conquests and power. He considered himself above
God. There is an incident recorded in the Book of
Daniel where, because of Nebuchadnezzar’s pride,
the judgment of God came upon him. These words
are recorded:

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 Immediately what had been said
about Nebuchadnezzar was fulfilled.
He was driven away from people and
ate grass like cattle. His body was
drenched with the dew of heaven
until his hair grew like the feathers
of an eagle and his nails like the
claws of a bird. (Daniel 4:33)
This powerful king who had enslaved so many
peoples and nations suddenly began to reap God’s
judgment and punishment because of the pride that
was in his heart. God is not mocked, and any person
will ultimately and certainly reap what he has sown.
In the next chapter of the Book of Daniel, we read
of Belshazzar. The opening verses of chapter 5 say:
King Belshazzar gave a great
banquet for a thousand of his nobles
and drank wine with them. While
Belshazzar was drinking his wine, he
gave orders to bring in the gold and
silver goblets that Nebuchadnezzar
his father had taken from the temple
in Jerusalem, so that the king and his
nobles, his wives and his concubines
might drink from them.
So they brought in the gold goblets
that had been taken from the temple
of God in Jerusalem, and the king
and his nobles, his wives and his
concubines drank from them.

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 As they drank the wine, they praised
the gods of gold and silver, of
bronze, iron, wood and stone.
(Daniel 5:1–4)
This man was sowing! He was sowing the seeds of
blasphemy and disregard for the sacred vessels from
the temple of the Lord. As we read through the
chapter, we find the judgment of God being
pronounced on him, and in the final part of the
chapter we read:
That very night Belshazzar, king of
the Babylonians, was slain, and
Darius the Mede took over the
kingdom... (Daniel 5:30–31)
Belshazzar thought that he could blaspheme God,
but he reaped judgment.
In the New Testament we read of King Herod. This
man’s evil actions are recorded in many places
throughout the scripture. Brutality and murder were
but some of the crimes of which he was guilty. The
principle of sowing and reaping as it applied to
Herod’s life is recorded in Acts 12:
On the appointed day Herod,
wearing his royal robes, sat on his
throne and delivered a public
address to the people.
They shouted, “This is the voice of a
god, not a man.” Immediately,
because Herod did not give praise to
God, an angel of the Lord struck him

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 down, and he was eaten by worms
and died. (Acts 12:21–23)
This was another operation of the unchanging truth
of sowing and reaping. Herod reaped from what he
had sown.
It would be possible to give many other instances
from the Bible where individuals or nations received
a direct penalty as a result of their actions. One
example would be the children of Israel who were
taken into slavery because of disobedience. So often
we read of individuals, nations, kings or servants,
who were afflicted, diseased, or suffered other
distressing circumstances as a direct result of their
own evil actions.

Sowing and the Increase

It is important that we remember that reaping is
normally in greater measure than that which is
sown. The Bible speaks of a seed which brings forth
thirty or sixty or a hundredfold. Seldom do we plant
one seed or one flower and get only one back again.
There is a multiplication which takes place because
of the sowing. An action for good or ill, which may
seem to be minor, may have far-reaching and
devastating results in a person’s life. We may say,
“That wasn’t anything very serious, God wouldn’t
be concerned about that. One small seed, however,
can produce a large result.
It was many years ago that the following events
took place, but I vividly remember them. I
approached the house with a feeling of trepidation,
yet excitement because I was a young and
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inexperienced pastor. The name of the occupant of
the house had been sent to me by the counseling
committee of the Billy Graham crusade, my very
first contact! What kind of a response would I get?
My knock on the door was a little uncertain, but was
loud enough to bring a response, and the door
opened. He stood framed in the doorway, a big man
with a hard face and I felt like a David confronting
his Goliath!
My words of introduction tumbled out and I
received a warm welcome, and was soon seated
with him in the living room. It was the beginning of
a mixture of experiences. In the years that lay ahead,
I was to receive from this man warm friendship,
support, unreliability, dishonesty, repentance,
egotistical behavior, drunkenness, spiritual affir-
mations of desire to live a consistent Christian life,
and then watch him face bankruptcy and the
ultimate breakdown of his marriage. A man with so
much potential who ultimately reaped from the
seeds of selfishness and sin that he continued to
sow.

There is a multiplication which

takes place through sowing.

He wanted God in his life, but he also wanted his

own way. The war years had made him tough and
somewhat ruthless. Commando training had built a
violence that would often rise up within him, but he
was likeable and easy to forgive.
My new church needed all the manpower possible,
and he began to help with the youth work, but
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alcohol was an occasional problem although he
would deny it. We helped him start in business, but
he misused opportunities and spent money needed
to pay sub-contractors for his own pleasure and for
keeping up a pretence that he was a wealthy
businessman.
I could not count the hours that others and I spent
with him. We prayed, pleaded, and even wept, but
every act of repentance by him was followed by an
act of selfishness or foolishness. The seed was small
when it was first sown, but it brought forth a harvest
of despair and destruction. I would like to write of a
happy ending but it didn’t happen. After I left the
area and then moved to another country I heard of
his bankruptcy, adultery and divorce.
The years passed without hearing anything about
him, then not long ago he attended a meeting which
I was conducting in the city where he was living. He
had seen my name advertised and had come to the
meeting. He was in the last stages of terminal
cancer, but I had the opportunity to pray with him
and then write to him before he died. I believe that
he had made his peace with God, but I still mourn
when I think of the wasted possibilities of his life.
I have already quoted the scripture, “Sow the wind
and reap the whirlwind” (Hosea 8:7). Most days, the
wind is blowing. Even if the wind becomes strong,
it is normally not a problem. The expression “sow to
the wind” is illustrating a natural climatic operation
of the wind, If, however, a whirlwind occurs, that is
entirely different.

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If you have experienced a whirlwind, or a tornado,
or cyclone, you will know that it is very different
from the wind that blows day-by-day. We
experience cyclones in the part of the world where I
live, and I have experienced many severe storms
and cyclones over the years and have seen their
devastating effect. In the secular occupation which I
was engaged in for many years as an independent
Loss Adjuster, both in New Zealand and Australia, I
was involved in the assessment of damage caused
by most of the storms that occurred in those years. I
have seen the effects of a whirlwind! I have seen
roofs ripped from houses and strongly constructed
buildings destroyed like matchwood. I have seen
ruin left in the path of cyclones. Yet day after day,
the wind had blown over those houses and buildings
and no damage occurred, but suddenly, because of
the whirlwind, there was destruction.

Sow the wind and reap the whirlwind.

On the 10th April 1968 a devastating storm struck

the city of Wellington in New Zealand and I was an
eye witness to perhaps the worst storm ever to strike
that part of the world.
The southerly wind lashed at the houses and
commercial buildings near to the coast and on the
exposed hillsides. Buildings designed to resist the
most severe winds could not withstand the violence
of the storm and were wrecked. The large inter-
island motor vessel Wahine was caught by the
violence of the storm as the ship attempted to enter
the Wellington Harbor, and was carried on to a reef

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and wrecked. Miraculously, the majority of
passengers and crew were saved although over fifty
people were drowned.
Who could imagine a scene like this? For months
my office was inundated with the assessment of
thousands of claims for damage. We employed extra
men and women to help us cope with the sheer
volume of work as a result of the devastation. For
over four months I worked from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m.
every day, and most weeks this included Sunday.
I know what a storm can do! It can change a scene
of beauty and tranquility to one of horror and
destruction. I have a deep appreciation of what the
Bible means when it declares, “Sow the wind and
reap the whirlwind!”
When the scripture says that we are no longer
dealing with the wind, but with a whirlwind, it
graphically illustrates the increase that can come
from what we sow by our actions. The seed that is
planted seems small but the results which suddenly
confront us are devastating. We need to think
seriously about this analogy used in God’s Word.
Let me now deal with the positive benefits of
sowing and reaping. We can sow that which God
approves and blesses and in turn reap thirty, sixty,
and a hundred times of the blessings of God. Jesus
said:
“Well done, my good servant!” his
master replied, “Because you have
been trustworthy in a very small

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 matter, take charge of ten cities.”
(Luke 19:17)
In this parable a small amount of faithfulness reaped
a large reward. The good that we sow is magnified
as is the evil that we sow. Whatever we sow will be
greater in the reaping than in the sowing. How
foolish then, that we should sow to the negative
when we have been told clearly that we will reap a
far greater negative result when we can, instead,
sow to the positive and receive abundant blessings
and provision.

The seed that is planted seems small

but the results which suddenly confront
us are devastating.

We need to live to please God and not just to please

ourselves. We often look at events from a short term
point of view, but God is looking at them in the
long-term. When we plant seeds in a garden, we do
not expect to see the harvest spring up immediately.
There is a time lapse. We may sow disobedience
and evil and for a time see nothing adverse, but the
principle is in operation and an inevitable result will
follow.
There is an incident in the life of Jesus when a
Roman centurion appealed to Jesus to heal a servant
who was sick. When Jesus offered to go to the
centurion’s house the man replied:
Lord, I do not deserve to have you
come under my roof. But just say the

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 word, and my servant will be healed.
(Matthew 8:8)
Jesus was amazed at the faith shown by the
centurion and said:
“I tell you the truth, I have not found
anyone in Israel with such great
faith.” (Matthew 8:10)
As a result of the faith in Jesus shown by the
centurion, his servant was healed. The centurion, by
planting a seed of faith, received a harvest of God’s
healing in the life of his servant.
God wants to increase the good that He desires for
our lives. God is merciful and will always inflict
less upon us than the legal punishment that we
deserve, so if sin returns an increase, it should make
us understand. how serious sin is to God. A holy
God and sin of any kind is incompatible?

The good that we sow is magnified, as is

the evil that we sow. Whatever we sow will
be greater in the reaping than in the sowing.

Sowing by the Unbeliever

The principle of sowing and reaping as it applies to
people in three different categories are as follows:
• The unbeliever.
• The person who is converted to Christ.
• The Christian in his spiritual life.

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The question we need to answer is this: what does
forgiveness provide for the person in these three
different categories, and how does the principle of
sowing and reaping apply to him?

The Unbeliever
The Bible says, “The wages of sin is death”
(Romans 6:23). It also says, “The soul who
sins is the one who will die” (Ezekiel
18:20). The person who does not accept by faith
the salvation that is offered through Jesus Christ, is
under sentence of eternal separation from God,
because the Bible also says, “All have sinned”
(Romans 3:23). None of us is righteous! The best of
our actions fail to come up to the standard required
by a holy God.
The unbeliever may continue to enjoy certain
temporal benefits and blessings that come from the
general mercy of God. We have seen before how
God gives the benefits of the different seasons to
both the just and the unjust alike. God is not
restricted to applying the law of sowing and reaping
in this life alone. God’s ways are eternal, so the
truth of sowing and reaping will continue to apply.
The unbeliever goes on receiving a measure of the
mercy and the goodness of God and may prosper in
a material way. Some unbelievers may continue to
prosper all their lives, even though they have acted
unjustly.
We need to realize that the eternal consequences of
reaping what we have sown are far more drastic and
important than the temporal aspect. I would rather

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reap the blessings of God eternally than now, if I
had to make a choice. This life is described in the
scripture as “a mist that appears for a little while
and then vanishes” (James 4:14). God has promised
us only a limited life span at the best, but eternity is
unending. This life is God’s training ground for
what lies ahead of us in eternity.
We find, however, that some people reap very
quickly the results of their way of life, and such
cases are not isolated. There are people in the world
who have reaped quickly from what they have
sown. We could think of some wealthy people
whose ways of business have been unscrupulous
and dishonest. They have built financial empires,
but only to see what they have built collapse around
them. There are many such cases at the present time
and some of those involved have ended in
bankruptcy and even prison.
We could think of the famous who have reached a
place of prominence through deceit or selfishness,
and then suddenly had their actions exposed and
their reputations ruined.

The eternal consequences of reaping what

we have sown are far more drastic and
important than the temporal aspect.

We do not have to go back far in contemporary

history to recall leaders of nations who were
suddenly disgraced because they were sowing seeds
of dishonesty, and suddenly these sprang up into
sight and were exposed. The same is true of some

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religious and church leaders. They reaped what they
had sown!
We often read of men and women in the
entertainment industry who died, some at a young
age, because of what they had sown in their own
lives. They reaped quickly! They had sown to the
wind and truly reaped a whirlwind. Often, it had
been a whirlwind of disease or mental disorder.
Some have sown seeds of corruption by drug abuse
and every kind of excess and perversion, and
suddenly the whirlwind came.
God allows some to reap quickly from their sin and
others to appear to continue to prosper, but the
opening verses of Psalm 37 are appropriate for us to
remember:
Do not fret because of evil men or
be envious of those who do wrong;
for like the grass they will soon
wither, like green plants they will
soon die away.
Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell
in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
(Psalm 37:1–3)
The psalm continues with these words:
For evil men will be cut off but those
who hope in the Lord will inherit the
land.
A little while, and the wicked will be
no more; though you look for them

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 they will not be found. (Psalm 37:9–
10)
One thing is sure: the unbeliever will ultimately reap
from his sin. He will reap from it eternal judgment
and separation from God, apart from any temporal
judgment that his sin may invoke.

What Happens at Conversion?

The Person Who is Converted to Christ
We come now to the second category. How does the
law of sowing and reaping apply in this person’s
life? The Bible declares that the blood of Jesus
Christ, God’s Son, cleanses us from all sin. Paul,
writing to the Corinthian church said:
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he
is a new creation; the old has gone,
the new has come! (2 Corinthians
5:17)
The Living Bible paraphrase of this
verse says: When someone becomes
a Christian, he becomes a brand new
person inside. He is not the same
any more. A new life has begun.
This is a clear statement, but often it does not seem
to happen! People receive Christ and it does not
seem that the old things pass away. There are hurts,
wounds, and disappointments that remain, allowing
negative attitudes to dominate them.

One thing is sure – the unbeliever will

ultimately reap from his sin.
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I want to give the illustration of a young man I
knew. He had a great start to his Christian life. His
brother was a fine Christian young man and we had
prayed for the salvation of his brother for some time
before be finally came to church. The two brothers
came to our home for a snack at the close of that
Sunday night service, and we talked about the need
to receive Christ in a personal way.
I explained the way of salvation and asked if he
would like to receive Christ into his life. He replied
in the affirmative and I began to lead him in a
prayer of repentance and acceptance of Jesus. No
words came from his mouth! I repeated the simple
prayer, but still no words came. As we looked at
him his mouth seemed to be locked, and try as he
would, no words would come!
We discerned that he was bound by some demonic
spirit, and we began to speak against it in the Name
of Jesus. Suddenly he was free! The prayer flowed
from his lips and the joyous change in his whole
appearance was amazing. Later that night he and his
brother were physically attacked by demonic forces
to the extent that the older brother fell to the floor,
apparently unconscious. Again, we claimed the
authority in the Name of Jesus and saw complete
deliverance.
Let me assure you that this is not an illustration of
some extreme attitude to deliverance. Never before
or since have I had a similar experience. God’s
power was marvelously provided for the release of
this young man and for the protection of his older
brother.

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We saw the younger brother press on in the
Christian life for some months, but then he began to
doubt and allowed old negative fears and attitudes
that had previously plagued his life to return. His
Christian life became inconsistent. A moodiness that
had been a problem and which had vanished with
his conversion returned, and his spiritual life
became weak and indifferent. I am glad to say that
in later years he recaptured the blessing and peace
of God and today he is involved with a lively
effective church, but he spent some years in
struggling to overcome his weaknesses.
Should our spiritual experience be like this, or do
we often fail to appropriate all that is available
through our faith in Christ? There can be a big gap
in the lives of people between what they have
“possessionally”, that is, what they actually
experience in their lives and what they have
“positionally”, that is, the fullness of what God has
provided in Jesus Christ. I am sure that many of the
problems that Christians face today are because they
have not discovered how to receive what Jesus has
actually provided for them. It is our appropriation
that is defective and not the provisions of the Word
of God or the power of the Holy Spirit.
Man is a tripartite being comprising spirit, soul, and
body. There is a total provision in all of these areas
through the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross. There is
healing for our spirit from the effect of sin and also
from a wounded spirit. The spirit is the inner
spiritual part of a person, the part that has an affinity
with God. There is healing for the soul. The soul is
the area of the natural man, involving mind,
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emotions and will. Healing was provided for these
faculties when Jesus took our griefs and sorrows
upon Himself. The death of Jesus also provided
access to physical healing for our bodies. The death
of Jesus Christ on the Cross was a complete defeat
of Satan and a complete victory for Jesus. By His
death and then His resurrection, provision was made
for all our needs.
We realize, however, that God is working a
sovereign plan and we cannot demand that all our
needs be immediately met because His timing is not
our timing. We are challenged by the Word of God
to be “overcomers”, to come through every test and
trial as winners and not losers, to stand firm and
trust God whatever may be happening. We are
required to live our lives in hope, with an eager and
confident expectation of good regardless of our
circumstances, and we need to learn how to
appropriate all that Christ has provided for us, rather
than allow our past problems to dominate us.

It is our appropriation that is defective and

not the provisions of the Word of God.

When a person accepts Christ as Savior the principle

of sowing and reaping from an eternal perspective is
lifted. God no longer inflicts the penalties which
would otherwise be applicable because of sins
committed by the person prior to his salvation. The
slate is wiped clean from the penalty and guilt of all
past sin. What a fantastic provision that is! Salvation
does not, however, save a person from the temporal
consequences of a crime of which he or she may be

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guilty. God has cleared the record and there will be
no eternal penalty, but the person may still be
accountable to the civil authorities.
It is a tragedy, however, that so many Christians
through unwillingness to accept that God has really
forgiven them, and through unbelief, fear, and
doubt, allow old attitudes to continue and so bring
about a negative reaping in their lives. In doing this,
the person reduces in his own life some of the
wonderful provisions of the Cross. The new convert,
and also the experienced Christian, must constantly
allow his mind to be renewed, his emotions to be
purified and his will to be set free so as to accept the
forgiveness that God has given, and to harmonize
with God’s will for his life. Unfortunately, we find
in experience, that born again Christians are still
reaping in a spiritual sense from events that
happened before they were saved. This should not
be!
When one receives Christ “the old is gone, the new
has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17). This is the promise,
but we are then faced with the challenge of making
this real in our daily experience.

Many Christians through unbelief and fear,

allow old attitudes to continue, and so bring
about a negative reaping in their lives.

Our New Life in Christ

The Christian in His Spiritual Life
This is the third category.

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The “new birth” provides a fresh start from God’s
point of view, but from then on we again become
accountable for our actions. The law of sowing and
reaping once more becomes part of our life as it was
before conversion. Mercy and forgiveness are
always available but consequences are a reality to be
faced. In John’s first letter we read:
This is the message we have heard
from him and declare to you: God is
light; in him there is no darkness at
all.
If we claim to have fellowship with
him yet walk in the darkness, we lie
and do not live by the truth.
But if we walk in the light, as he is in
the light, we have fellowship with
one another, and the blood of Jesus,
his Son, purifies us from all sin. (1
John 1:5–7)
This is the promise of God. He cleanses us and
restores us to fellowship with him, but the promise
is for forgiveness and fellowship, not pardon. There
are failures that have to be dealt with. We may have
thought that all was well. One might say to himself:
“Yes, I did treat that person badly, but it happened a
long time ago and perhaps it is now forgotten.”
“I would be too embarrassed to go back now and
apologize.”
“Yes I did let them down. I told lies about them.”

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Until wrongs are put right, we can go on suffering
the consequences of what we have sown!
We cannot put back the clock to the day when we
were first saved, when, if only we had understood
these principles, how different our Christian life
might have been. We can, however, avail ourselves
now of God’s grace and humble ourselves both
before God, and our brother if necessary, in order to
break the cycle of reaping what we have sown.
It is vital to emphasize a truth that has previously
been mentioned. We can be without fault in a
dispute, but because we are unforgiving, God’s
judgment still rests upon us because we will reap the
penalty of unforgiveness. The guilty party also is
not excused as, even if he is forgiven, God’s
dealings may continue until the right responses are
made.
We do not need to be bound by the failures of the
past. We can start reaping the fruit of righteousness
and not the fruit of unrighteousness. We do not need
to reap a whirlwind but we can reap the blessings
and rewards of God. As we accept the provisions of
the Cross, fulfill God’s conditions and walk in
obedience to Him, this can be our experience.
A young married man in a leadership position in a
church gave me this testimony:
I had the privilege of a fine, stable home life
and at the age of thirteen years was
considered a decent kid. I had attended a
denominational church but knew nothing

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about a personal experience of knowing
Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord.
At this age I began to desire acceptance from
others of my own age group, many of whom
were involved in immorality and drinking.
This desire increased as I progressed through
high school, and to gain the esteem of the
other boys I began to create a web of lies
about myself and my activities. These lies
increased to such an extent that by my early
twenties the real me was a stranger to
myself.
My teen years gave me the opportunity to
develop a life style in which I doubted the
existence of God, and considered
Christianity a middle class social club.
By the time I reached twenty-one years, I
was a heavy drinker and was involved in
every kind of conduct contrary to my early
upbringing. My life was a mess of falsehood
as I tried to keep up with the image I had
created for myself, but deep within there was
insecurity, depression, and self-pity. I wore a
knife strapped to my leg, and on occasions
carried a shotgun in the back of my car in
order to feed my ego as a “tough man’!
In this situation a despair began to grip my
fiancée and me and I began to search for
some spiritual answer. We tried spiritualism,
eastern mysticism, and philosophy, but these
merely made us critical of existing religions
and social patterns.
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My fiancée and I married and decided to
spend some time fruit picking. The orchard
owners were evangelical Christians and we
were deeply challenged by the message of
the Gospel but seemed unable to reach a
place of total acceptance of Christ’s way.
We moved from New Zealand to Sydney,
Australia, and again became associated with
Christians and were increasingly convicted
of the degree of falsehood that was in both
of our lives. The Holy Spirit was dealing
with us, and old fears and prejudices were
beginning to crumble. One Saturday night
we attended a film service in a local
Pentecostal Church. Both my wife and I
responded to the invitation to receive Christ
as Savior, and one week later were baptized
in water. Within a short time we were both
baptized with the Holy Spirit.
What a change! All those years of
pretending to be something that I wasn’t and
trying to find a satisfaction that remained
beyond my grasp. Now it was over! God had
many things to do in my life. He dealt with
pride, unwillingness to be submissive, and
self effort, but we had found something real
and meaningful in our lives.
I praise God for His grace and power. When
I fully realized that I was in a race of life and
God’s way was the only way and there was
no way back, I almost panicked, wondering
if I could make it! Then I realized that the

158
 strength and ability were His, not mine. My
wife and I now desire to be totally
committed to the Lord Jesus Christ and to
live God’s way by the power of the Holy
Spirit. Truly, old things are passed away.

We do not need to be bound by the things

of the past. We can start reaping the fruit of
righteousness and not the fruit of
unrighteousness.

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 Chapter 6
What is Happening?

An unusual title has been chosen for this chapter

because of what people have said to me. On many
occasions I have talked with men and women who
were experiencing problems and difficulties and
they have said, “What is happening? I do not
understand what is taking place in my life!”
I want to refer to three different passages of
scripture, and they need to be read so that the
comparison can be clearly seen. The first, found in
Romans 8:28–39, has been set out on the feature
page of this chapter.
The second scripture is found in The Book of
Judges:
The angel of the Lord went up from
Gilgal to Bokbim, and said: “I led you
up from Egypt and brought you to
the land that I swore to give to your
forefathers. I said, “I will never break
my covenant with you, and you shall
not make a covenant with the
people of this land, but you shall
break down their altars. Yet you
have disobeyed me. Why have you
done this?

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 Now therefore I tell you that I will not
drive them out before you; they will
be thorns in your sides and their
gods will be a snare to you. (Judges
2:1–3)
The third scripture is found in the letter to the
Hebrew church:
And you have forgotten that word of
encouragement that addresses you
as sons:
“My son, do not make light of the
Lord’s discipline, and do not lose
heart when he rebukes you, because
the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he
accepts as a son.”
“Endure hardship as discipline; God
is treating you as sons. For what son
is not disciplined by his father?
“If you are not disciplined (and
everyone undergoes discipline), then
you are illegitimate children and not
true sons.
“Moreover, we have all had human
fathers who disciplined us and we
respected them for it. How much
more should we submit to the Father
of our spirits and live!
“Our fathers disciplined us for a little
while as they thought best; but God

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 disciplines us for our good, that we
may share in his holiness.” (Hebrews
12:5–10)

Three Alternatives
We have quoted these scriptures in full for an
important reason. In these passages we have three
vastly contrasting aspects. The verses in Romans
8:28–39 speak of the promises and provisions of
God so that in spite of every kind of difficulty and
testing we can be confident that God is still with us,
and we can live triumphantly. Promises of
strengthening and help are given so that those who
love God and are called by Him will stand firm and
not be shaken in their faith and hope regardless of
their circumstances.
The second scripture (Judges 2:1–3) refers to a
people chosen by God who, under His direction,
went in to possess the land of Canaan that had been
promised to them. The enemy was confronted and
the land conquered often in miraculous ways. But
later the people of Israel became disobedient to
God, and because of their disobedience, suffered
opposition and attack from the original occupants of
the land. God declared that the Canaanites would
now become “thorns in the sides of the Israelites
and the gods of the land of Canaan would become a
snare to them” (Judges 2:3). The Israelites were a
privileged people and God had been with them, but
now they were rebuked and judged.
The third scripture (Hebrews 12:5–10) tells of a
loving heavenly Father disciplining His children out

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of concern and care because He loves them and
wants to see them grow and develop into the
likeness of Christ.
People have spoken to me of problems and
difficulties in home life, personal relationships, or in
their work, and although they had taken apparent
steps of trust in God their efforts had ended in a
blind alley! In confusion and not knowing where
they were going in life, they had come for counsel,
pouring out a story of despair and had said, “What is
happening?”

Cause and Effect

From what has been said in the last chapter dealing
with reaping and sowing there are some aspects that
must now be clarified. The question that confronts
us is what are the reasons for the challenges,
problems, and difficulties that occur in our daily
lives? They can be summarized under three
headings:
1. Have we failed to appropriate the total provisions
of the Cross?
We have already dealt with the total redemptive
work of the Cross and have seen how Jesus gave
Himself as a sacrifice in body, soul, and spirit. He
made it possible for our spirit to be born anew and
indwelt by the Spirit of God so that we might
become part of a new creation. He poured out his
soul to death and bore our griefs and sorrows and
dealt with every influence that touches our mind,
emotions, and will.

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Some Bible teachers have emphasized the subject of
inner healing and healing of memories, but Jesus
made provision for this on the Cross when He
suffered in the realm of the soul. There may be
lingering results from some of our past experiences,
but we should not need to receive protracted
ministry or prayer for such problems.
The prophet Isaiah declared, “By his wounds we are
heated” (Isaiah 53:5). A provision has been made
for physical healing through the suffering and
sacrifice of Christ on Calvary.
If we have unexplainable problems, the first
question we must ask ourselves is are we
appropriating the full benefits of what Christ has
already done for us?
2. Are we reaping what we have sown?
Every action has a result! There is nothing that we
do that is isolated, but as we have dealt with this
subject in detail it is not necessary to elaborate. Let
us, however, note carefully that every action we take
will have a result for good or ill, so when we are
faced with confusion or difficulty, we need to make
an honest evaluation as to whether we are reaping a
negative result from what we have sown.
3. Is God, through these difficult circumstances,
disciplining us and pruning our lives because of His
love and care?
The scripture says:

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 ...because the Lord disciplines those
he loves, and he punishes everyone
he accepts as a son. (Hebrews 12:6)
Jesus gave teaching that is similar to this:
“I am the true vine and my Father is
the gardener. He cuts off every
branch in me that bears no fruit,
while every branch that does bear
fruit he prunes so that it will be even
more fruitful.” (John 15:1–2)

Every action we take will have a result

for good or ill.

In times of difficulty, uncertainty, or testing we are

faced with these three alternatives. Which of these
three reasons apply? We must know so that we can
find peace or, if there is a wrong to be put right, take
action to bring about a solution.
The problem we all have is to be genuinely
objective when we try to evaluate what is happening
to us. We all see things from our own point of view.
Most Christians are sincere in their desire to serve
God, but we all look at events from our own
perspective. It is very natural to say, “Be reasonable,
do it my way!” We are usually convinced that our
way is right, so it is hard to look at the problem
from all angles and particularly to recognize that we
all have some blind spots. We do not see it because
we really are blind to it! The only person who can
help us to see a blind spot is someone else. A wife
can be good at seeing a blind spot her husband has,

165
and a husband can do the same with his wife, but
often neither are accurate because it usually takes
some disassociated person to genuinely see what the
person concerned cannot, or will not see.
We are prone to be subjective and too close to our
own problems to see a cause. I would be delighted
to give a simple formula to this problem but there is
no easy answer. There are, however, principles that
we can learn and apply.
Many adverse experiences in life are unquestionably
allowed by God when there has been no personal
failure on our part. We read in the scriptures how
Jesus and His disciples were walking past a man
who was blind from birth. The disciples asked Jesus
this question:
“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his
parents, that he was born blind?”
“Neither this man nor his parents
sinned,” said Jesus, “but this
happened so that the work of God
might be displayed in his life.” (John
9:2–3)
The natural tendency of the disciples was to find a
cause for the blindness and their immediate reaction
was to think that there had been some failure either
by the man or his parents. That was very much in
line with the Jewish thinking of those times. Jesus,
however, completely squashed such a proposition
and in fact was emphatic that neither the man nor
his parents were at fault, but God had allowed this

166
man to go through years of blindness so that the
work of God might be displayed in his life.

It is hard to be objective regarding

ourselves and difficult to realize that we
all have some “blind spots’.

The Book of Job gives us a similar situation. We

read in the opening chapter of this book:
Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have
you considered my servant Job?
There is no one on earth like him; he
is blameless and upright, a man who
fears God and shuns evil.”
“Does Job fear God for nothing?”
Satan replied.
“Have you not put a hedge around
him and his household and
everything he has? You have blessed
the work of his hands, so that his
flocks and herds are spread
throughout the land
“But stretch out your hand and
strike everything he has, and he will
curse you to your face.”
The Lord said to Satan, “Very well,
then, everything he has is in your
hands, but on the man himself do
not lay a finger.” (Job 1:8–12)
Later, God allowed Satan to attack Job’s body and
he was covered with painful sores, but in all of this
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Job did not sin in what he said. Job had done
nothing wrong when God allowed this destruction
and loss of family, possessions, and health to be
inflicted upon him. God allowed a great test to come
on Job, but in later years God restored to Job double
of what he had had before these disasters came. God
was allowing these extreme tests to prove the
character of his servant Job.

Many adverse experiences of life are

unquestionably allowed by God when there
has been no personal failure on our part.

The Trial of Faith

I want to remind you of the suffering, testing, and
trials of the apostle Paul. When writing to the
Corinthian church he recounted what he had
endured:
Are they servants of Christ? (I am
out of my mind to talk like this.) I am
more. I have worked much harder,
been in prison more frequently, been
flogged more severely, and been
exposed to death again and again,
Five times I received from the Jews
the forty lashes minus one.
Three times I was beaten with rods,
once I was stoned, three times I was
shipwrecked, I spent a night and a
day in the open sea, I have been
constantly on the move. I have been
in danger from rivers, in danger from
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 bandits, in danger from my own
countrymen, in danger from
Gentiles; in danger in the city, in
danger in the country, in danger at
sea; and in danger from false
brothers.
I have labored and toiled and have
often gone without sleep; I have
known hunger and thirst and have
often gone without food; I have been
cold and naked.
Besides everything else, I face daily
the pressure of my concern for all
the churches. (2 Corinthians 11:23–
28)
Were these experiences because Paul, the great
apostle, did not know how to appropriate the
benefits of what Christ had provided through the
Cross? Did this man to whom Jesus gave the
revelation of the church – a mystery that had been
hidden down through the ages – not know how to
receive the fullness of what Jesus had
accomplished? Such a possibility is unthinkable,
although some supposed faith teachers today would
try to have us believe that if Paul knew as much as
they do today, or had the faith that they claim to
have, he would not have needed to face such
hardships!
Was Paul suffering because he had sown negatively
in his life? We are aware that Paul, before his
conversion, was a persecutor of the church and a
witness to the death of Stephen, the first martyr, but
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in receiving Christ he would have been totally
forgiven. These sufferings that Paul experienced
could not have been a result of reaping negatively
from sowing disobedience! Paul was totally
committed to the gospel of Jesus Christ. He
challenged the Christians of his day to imitate him!
Not many of us would dare to make such a claim.
The only other explanation is that God was molding
a man’s life and character for the purpose that He
required. God was taking a life that He had chosen
and allowing him to go through the most harrowing
experiences so that Paul would be equipped to
accomplish all that the Lord wanted from his life.
We don’t usually learn much from the easy events
of life. We learn when the pressures come and we
have our backs to the wall and have to trust Jesus
when we can’t see the final result, and when
apparent disaster stares us in the face. Paul’s own
fervent prayer was this:
But whatever was to my profit I now
consider loss for the sake of Christ.
What is more, I consider everything
a loss compared to the surpassing
greatness of knowing Christ Jesus
my Lord, for whose sake I have lost
all things. I consider them rubbish,
that I may gain Christ and be found
in him, not having a righteousness of
my own which comes from the law,
but that which is through faith in
Christ – that righteousness that
comes from God and is by faith.

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 I want to know Christ and the power
of his resurrection and the fellowship
of sharing in his sufferings,
becoming like him in his death, and
so, somehow, to attain to the
resurrection from the dead.
Not that I have already obtained all
this, or have already been made
perfect, but I press on to take hold of
that for which Christ Jesus took hold
of me. (Philippians 3:7–12)

God was molding a man’s life and character

for the purpose that He required.

It is clear from the letters that Paul wrote to the

different churches that he had many detractors in his
day. It would be reasonable to assume that there
were many in the church at that time who would
have interpreted Paul’s trials and sufferings to be the
result of some personal disobedience or failure. Paul
had many enemies within the church and often
found it necessary to defend his apostleship. Those
who were against him no doubt would have been
pleased to point the finger of accusation at him
because of his trials and hardships.
As we look back over the record of Paul’s life and
his effectiveness, fruitfulness, steadfastness,
dedication, and the revelations he had received from
the Lord, we see a man who may not have been
perfect in everything he did, but one who was totally
committed to the Lord Jesus Christ, and whose

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ministry evidenced signs, wonders, and the power of
God. We see a man who, because of the testings and
trials of life, became so strong that nothing could
move him. Paul made these two different
affirmations in two separate letters that he wrote to
the churches:
For our light and momentary
troubles are achieving for us an
eternal glory that far outweighs
them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is
seen, but on what is unseen. For
what is seen is temporary, but what
is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians
4:17–1 8)
Not only so, but we also rejoice in
our sufferings, because we know
that suffering produces
perseverance; perseverance,
character; and character, hope.
And hope does not disappoint us,
because God has poured out his love
into our hearts by the Holy Spirit,
whom he has given us. (Romans
5:3–5)
The scriptures are clear; persecution, suffering, and
testing are part of the true Christian life! In the
Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said:
Blessed are you when people insult
you, persecute you and falsely say

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 all kinds of evil against you because
of me.
Rejoice and be glad, because great
is your reward in heaven, for in the
same way they persecuted the
prophets who were before you.
(Matthew 5:11–12)
Jesus predicted persecution for those who followed
Him. It would be easy for someone to say, “I am
suffering and going through this difficult time
because I am living in obedience to Jesus!” That
may or may not be so. We are quick to find excuses
for ourselves. There are, however, the three
alternatives that could apply, and we must be very
honest as we come to discern the cause of different
problems.
The apostle Paul was experiencing an affliction at
one time during his ministry and he prayed and
asked the Lord to remove it. The reply he received
was not what he would have expected, and he wrote
about it in this way:
To keep me from becoming
conceited because of these
surpassingly great revelations, there
was given me a thorn in my flesh, a
messenger of Satan, to torment me.
Three times I pleaded with the Lord
to take it away from me.
But he said to me, “My grace is
sufficient for you, for my power is
made perfect in weakness.”
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 Therefore I will boast all the more
gladly about my weaknesses, so that
Christ’s power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I
delight in weaknesses, in insults, in
hardships, in persecutions, in
difficulties. For when I am weak,
then I am strong. (2 Corinthians
12:7–10)

We see a man who, because of the testings

and trials of life, became so strong that
nothing could move him.

There is no evidence in the Bible to suggest that

Paul was referring to a physical sickness when he
wrote of this “thorn in the flesh.” Paul may have
been referring to the persecution, opposition and
hardship that he constantly faced. It would be
natural for Paul to pray earnestly for the Lord to
deliver him out of such circumstances. On the other
hand, there is no evidence to show that he was not
suffering from a physical condition that may have
made his missionary work more difficult. Any
comment as to the meaning of Paul’s thorn in the
flesh is speculation. The heart of the meaning of this
passage of scripture has to do with the response that
Paul made to the Lord’s reply to the prayer.
Paul accepted that the Lord was not going to remove
the problem at that point in time. When Christ said,
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made
perfect in weakness, Paul accepted that answer
without further question. Paul could have given up
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his missionary work! He could have become
offended with Jesus because he didn’t get what he
would have liked! He could have lost confidence in
the call that was on his life! He did not do any of
these things! He pressed on with his work knowing
that the Lord would give him the strength and power
that he needed.
This is the acid test, to determine if God is allowing
a problem for our growth and development and not
because of some personal failure. Can we say in the
midst of the difficulty that His grace is sufficient for
us and that His power is made perfect in our time of
weakness?

Trusting But Not Being Delivered

Life has its ups and downs and problems. I read this
statement, “Pain is inevitable, but misery is
optional!” (Johnson, Barbara. Pain is Inevitable but Misery
is Optional. Word Publishing: Eng. 1991). If we are in the
midst of trouble, can we honestly say that the Lord’s
grace is sufficient for us, or are we so in despair that
we are ready to give up? Obviously, the apostle Paul
was desperate when he prayed to the Lord, and
although this attack of Satan was not immediately
removed, the promise of the Lord’s help in the
problem was enough for Paul to press on without
wavering.
In Hebrews 11 we read of the great heroes of faith.
Amazing conquests through faith, miracles, and
victories are recorded. We read of men such as
Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joshua,
Gideon, Samson, David, and others who through

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faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice,
gained what had been promised, shut the mouths of
lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped
the edge of the sword. The scripture says, “Whose
weakness was turned to strength” (Hebrews 11:32–
34).
But as we read on in this chapter we come to an
entirely different story:
... Others were tortured and refused
to be released, so that they might
gain a better resurrection.
Some faced jeers and flogging, while
still others were chained and put in
prison.
They were stoned, they were sawed
in two; they were put to death by
the sword. They went about in
sheep-skins and goatskins, destitute,
persecuted and ill-treated – the
world was not worthy of them.
They wandered in deserts and
mountains, and in caves and holes in
the ground. (Hebrews 11:35–38)
What happened to these people? Were they
disobedient or unable to reach God in prayer? Were
they reaping what they had sown? Do we have in
Hebrews 11 a list of successes who knew how to
exercise faith and pray through to a place of victory
in their circumstances, and also a group of failures
who were disobedient and whose prayers were

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unheard? Verse 39 in this chapter gives a very clear
answer:
These were all commended for their
faith, yet none of them received
what had been promised. (Hebrews
11:39)
These were all commended for their faith, as well as
those who had had miraculous deliverances. They
were not suffering because of their inability to trust
God, nor were they reaping negatively from what
they had sown, but God had allowed them to suffer
and even die!
No one is able to explain the ways of God. Why
God allows different events to take place, even to
those who love and serve Him with total trust, is
known only to God Himself. But we can be assured
that every experience of life is allowed by the Lord
so that if we make right responses we will be
prepared not only for God’s best in this life, but also
in eternity.

Can we say in the midst of the difficulty that

His grace is sufficient for us and that
His strength is being revealed
in our time of weakness?

Opportunity Lost
By way of contrast, let us consider King Herod who
was the only man in the Bible to whom Jesus
refused to speak. What a distinction! There is no
record of Jesus being unwilling to speak to any
other person including prostitutes, publicans, lepers,
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scribes or Pharisees. Sometimes Jesus spoke sternly
and with rebuke, but His words always contained
hope and opportunity for reconciliation with God.
To Herod, however, Jesus would not speak. Luke
records this incident in his gospel:
When Herod saw Jesus, he was
greatly pleased, because for a long
time he had been wanting to see
him. From what he had heard about
him, he hoped to see him perform
some miracle. (Luke 23:8)
We could well think this would have been a great
opportunity for Jesus to convince King Herod, a
prominent national leader, that He had supernatural
power and was the Son of God, but the scripture
says:
He plied him with many questions,
but Jesus gave him no answer. (Luke
23:9)
Jesus refused to speak to Herod. There were no
words of compassion or hope for this evil king and
later Herod reaped what he had sown as a result of a
life of selfishness, brutality, and murder. God’s
temporal judgment upon Herod was recorded in
chapter five of this book.
Another illustration concerns Judas, one of the
twelve disciples, a man who was wonderfully
favored by God and given the privilege of being
with Jesus for more than three years, and yet for his
own selfish reasons accepted thirty pieces of silver
to betray Jesus. Later, Judas, filled with despair and

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condemnation, hanged himself. Here was a man
with one of the greatest opportunities of all history,
but because of his greed and self-desire, he had
reaped what he had sown.

Every experience of life is allowed by God

so that, if we will make the right responses,
we will be prepared not only for God’s best
in time, but also in eternity.

Dictator or Directed?
We are still examining how we can determine what
is happening when there are problems and
difficulties in our lives. It is hard when we are
personally involved and are caught in despair. The
Bible makes two special provisions to help us out of
the dilemma in which we may find ourselves. The
scriptures provide for the operation of spiritual
authority and also for the plurality of leadership.
The Bible tells us to submit to those who are over
us:
Obey your leaders and submit to
their authority. They keep watch
over you as men who must give an
account. Obey them so that their
work will be a joy, not a burden, for
that would be of no advantage to
you. (Hebrews 13:17)
The Bible also says:

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 Submit to one another out of
reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:2
1)
Submission is a subject that has been misused and
misunderstood. Submission is an attitude rather than
an action. The New Testament does not provide that
any person should be under the domination of
another as our life relationship is essentially with the
Lord Jesus Christ. But God has provided a way of
protection by our being submitted to spiritual
leaders and also to one another.
Submission is not to crush a person’s life or to take
away incentive, but that others would be able to give
us objective discernment and counsel when we are
confronted with the problems of life. This is also the
reason for plurality of leadership so that no one man
can take a dictatorial oversight.
God gives spiritual protection when we obey
spiritual principles. We might wonder if an
eldership, overseer, or pastor would always have the
right answer for our lives, and of course each person
has a right to express his own view point or leading
in any situation. But if we will obey spiritual
principles then, in the event of an overseer being
wrong in his direction, God will still honor His
principles and protect us even when we don’t
understand how He will do it.
I do not suggest that any person should violate his
own conscience or act contrary to a genuine
conviction in order to obey a spiritual authority.
Generally speaking, we are safer obeying spiritual
overseers, even if we think they are wrong, than
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doing what we want to do even if we think that we
are right. Quite often right and wrong cannot be
determined at the time an event is taking place and
only time shows what was the correct course of
action. Never overlook God’s ability to intervene on
behalf of the person who is acting with a sincere
heart. These comments are made in regard to
guidance or problems that are being faced and
where it would be wise and beneficial to seek
confirmation or counsel from an experienced leader
or another mature Christian before taking some
unilateral action.

God has provided a way of protection by

our being submitted to spiritual authority
and to one another.

When there is a dictatorial leader, there is none to

whom he is accountable; there is none to give him
correction so the New Testament pattern is very
clearly that of elders: plural.
Perhaps you believe this and would say, “Yes, I
believe that the New Testament pattern for church
government is plurality of leadership and that
eldership is God’s pattern. There should not be one
man with all the say, dominating the life of the
church, or a particular part of Christ’s Body.” Do
we realize, however, that while we may agree with
this principle that it is easy to make ourselves a
dictatorial authority over our own life? We say, “No
one tells me what to do. I can go straight to Jesus. I
don’t need a shepherd. I’m complete in Christ and
don’t need anybody else!” There is a degree of truth

181
in those statements, but we can make ourselves a
dictator over our own life by this attitude.
We must balance the amazing provision of personal
relationship with Christ with the command that we
are to submit to those having authority over us and
also to one another. By submission, we allow God
to protect us by the concern and counsel of
leadership, and also by our brothers and sisters in
Christ. They can help us to evaluate the
circumstances in which we find ourselves. We can
be sincere Bible-believing Christians and yet still
need help when it comes to really discerning what is
happening at any stage of our life.

We are safer obeying spiritual oversight

even if we think they are wrong, than doing
what we want even if we think we are right.

We need to understand the way that God’s

principles work. At creation God demanded
obedience from Adam and placed Adam in authority
over Eve. The purpose of God was that they should
multiply and replenish the earth and rule over it. Eve
failed in her submission to Adam and Adam failed
in his obedience to God and they lost the
opportunity to fulfill God’s purpose. Had each done
what had been required of them, they would have
shared the rights that God had promised.
Jesus came as the last Adam, and completely
fulfilled His task by obedience to the Father. Eve
was a bride – a type of the church – so the church is
to be in submission to her heavenly Bridegroom,
Jesus. When the church is submitted to Christ the
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Head, then He brings His Bride to a place of
equality so she rules and reigns with Him on the
throne.
The Bible says that the husband is the head of the
wife and that the wife is to submit to her husband.
Christ is, of course, the head of the husband and the
husband must obey the Lord. If the husband obeys
Christ and the wife submits to her husband then
God’s divine order is complete, and they together,
husband and wife, enter into equal rights in God and
rule over the family.
Submission does not make one less than another.
Submission in divine order, completes God’s plan of
authority, and allows equality, in sharing the rights
and privileges as co-heirs with Christ. The fact that
some leaders have misused the principle of
submission and have brought people into bondage
and dependence on them does not invalidate the
truth of genuine Bible submission. Do not be afraid
of biblical submission as it can be the means of
releasing a person into liberty, and also a right
understanding of God’s will for his life.
At the time of writing this book one young woman
in the church where I was pastor, gave me this
unsolicited testimony:
An incident occurred in my life some years
ago during a time of rather bitter
disillusionment and I had made a decision to
leave the church. I thought to myself, “I’ll
still believe in God but I won’t go to church
anymore.” When Sunday came, a small
voice within me seemed to say, “The pastor
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 has been good to you. At least you can have
the courtesy to tell him that you are going to
leave.” I thought about it and decided that I
would do that, so I dressed for church,
arrived late and sat in the back and not near
the front where I normally sat. God was
merciful to me and I sensed His presence
and suddenly thought, “I don’t care what
people have done to me or what they might
do in the future or even what I have done
myself, I love God and I am going to follow
Him.” Something happened inside me!
Continuing her testimony, the young woman said
that at the close of the service I had come to her and
said, “Where have you been?” Although she had
been absent for seven weeks she said, “Oh, I’ve just
been thinking,” and I said to her, “Can’t you do that
at church?” She said, “No, this place affects my
thinking too much,” and I replied, “You have been
taking a wrong course of action!”
She continued with her story:
This was the end of a crisis for me. I never
stayed away from church after that and when
I thought about the incident it frightened me
how closely I had come to really missing out
in my walk with God. If I had not obeyed
that little voice within me that sent me back
to tell what I had intended doing, I would
have left the church and I do not know what
the consequences would have been. At the
time I did not see any spiritual principle
behind what had happened and thought to

184
 myself, “How could God let my life hang on
what seemed such a simple issue?” It was
not, however, a simple issue; it was one that
could have seriously affected my whole life.
I now understand that God was protecting
me and bringing me back under a spiritual
overseer.

Submission, in divine order, completes

God’s plan of authority, and allows equality,
in sharing the rights and privileges as co-
heirs with Christ.

Do not underestimate the capacity of a believer in

Christ to receive clear individual guidance by the
Holy Spirit or to be led by the Word of God and
prayer, but I want to stress that it is not always easy
to genuinely hear from God in our Spirit. We need
to learn to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit as
distinct from our own spirit, and guidance and help
from those who care for us is vital as we are
developing in this ability.
The words, “God has told me,” do not validate the
actions of a person! So often a person has said to
me, “God has told me,” but the outcome has
disproved the words, as the action taken by the
person has resulted in confusion, disorder, and
sometimes disaster. The mere expression, “God has
told me,” is not a divine seal on a course of action.
Time has often proven that what was done by a
person was his own desire and not guidance by the
Holy Spirit.

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Don’t become a dictator over your own life! God
wants us increasingly to learn how to discern His
voice, but many factors are involved. Our
conscience must be cleansed and kept sensitive. We
must develop an intuitive ability to hear the inner
voice of the Spirit of God and build ourselves up in
the Word and in prayer. All of this can take time and
experience, so keep a submissive attitude towards
those who are in positions of delegated authority.
I had been a Christian for more than thirty years
before I really discovered the importance of
conscience in hearing the voice of God. I do not
recall having heard a sermon or being given
teaching on this subject in all that time. Often the
comment had been passed, “Do not trust your
conscience; it is unreliable!”
From a careful study of scripture, I came to see that
our conscience was a vital faculty of the human
spirit by which we could discern right or wrong and
truth or error. In addition, our conscience is the
God-ordained provision to enable us to discern the
law of God which is actually written in our hearts.

The words, “God has told me,” do not

validate the actions of a person.

This subject is a matter for separate study, but let

me say that because of sin and disobedience, man’s
conscience has been corrupted and calloused so as
to greatly reduce its sensitivity. This, however, can
be changed! The blood of Jesus Christ not only
cleanses us from sin, but also cleanses our

186
conscience from acts that lead to death (Hebrews
9:14).
When our conscience is spiritually cleansed as a
result of the new birth, and kept sensitive by
obedience to its promptings, then it becomes a vital
factor to enable us to clearly hear the voice of God.
So many Christians fail at the basic levels of
obedience, particularly in regard to reading of the
Bible, prayer, and keeping a clear conscience. I have
never in all my years of ministry dealt with a
backslider who could honestly say, “I have
diligently read the Bible and prayed.”
Our communion with God is so vital to building and
maintaining an ability to know clearly the direction
of God. People can so glibly say that God has led
them in a particular direction, but the evidence of
their lives is one of self-pleasing and disorder. Any
sincere person who considers that the Holy Spirit
has given guidance in some important matter or
direction should be willing to submit that guidance
to trusted spiritual leaders for confirmation.
Over the years I have been glad to work with teams
of men with whom I have been able to submit what
I believed God was saying to the church, to the
wider fellowship of churches, or to my life at a
personal level. We can easily develop personal
desires and convictions that may not be the will of
God, and to have those who love and care for us
say, “We do not believe that this is the right action”
is a valuable protection.

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 I came to see that our conscience was
a vital faculty of the human spirit by which
we could discern right and wrong,
and truth and error.

A Mind Made Up!

The majority of people who have come to me for
guidance over many years, particularly in matters of
importance, have, generally speaking, already made
up their own minds before coming. They have come
to me for a “rubber stamp” endorsement! The
moment I have begun to question them or raised
doubts as to their action there has been a reaction,
and often they have been offended. Sometimes these
people have then left the church!
It is easy to say spiritual words, but when we are
confronted with the question of what is happening in
life we need to realize that we are often the author
of our own misfortune, because we will not act in
accordance with God’s way. Tragic results,
backsliding, confusion, and resentment have
followed those who have determined to go their own
way.
I think with sadness of a group of people in one of
the home meetings in my own church who left the
church with a wrong attitude and without
explanation. Within a comparatively short time
hardly any were continuing as active Christians, yet
all of them obviously thought that they were taking
the right action in leaving the church. Time proved

188
that the steps taken were of their own initiative and
not of God’s leading.
There is a continual heartache to pastors and loss to
the Kingdom of God because men and women have
made up their own mind and are determined to take
action under the guise of God’s will.

Tragic results, backsliding, confusion and

resentment have followed those who have
determined to go their own way.

On one occasion I listened to an international

speaker teaching about the principle of release. He
said that when we violate God’s Word or way there
is a bondage that can remain in our lives. He spoke
particularly in regard to people leaving a church
without making an explanation, or with hurt feelings
and a critical spirit. The fact that they had been part
of the local body for several years was totally
immaterial to them, but because of some
disagreement, they found it convenient to say that
the Lord had told them to go.
This international speaker confided that on one
occasion he had left the church where he had been
the pastor because a set of hurtful circumstances and
ill-will and bitterness had been involved. Ultimately,
he returned to that church and stood before the
congregation and asked them to release him because
he had found, that in the manner of his leaving the
church, he had brought restriction upon his own life
and ministry. He had been unable to find freedom
and peace in God because he had violated God’s
way of being guided by the Holy Spirit and
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confirmation from others. Incidents similar to this,
by either leadership or lay people, arise so often in
church life that we need to face the truth that
confusion and problems will follow us if we act in
selfishness and haste.
Let us be very clear about two matters:
1. If we do not appropriate what Christ has provided
for us we are committing sin!
By continuing with old attitudes of mind, emotion,
and will, we reduce the power of Christ’s death and
resurrection to bring us into complete liberty and
victory. There are several different Greek words that
are translated by the English word “sin’. One of
these words is hamartia which means, to fall short
of the mark or target. This is the word used by the
writer to the Hebrew church where he says:
Therefore, since we are surrounded
by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that
hinders and the sin that so easily
entangles, and let us run with
perseverance the race marked out
for us. (Hebrews 12:1)
The sin that easily entangles us is the sin to fail to be
all that we could be, and not to accept all that Christ
has provided. It is easy to be satisfied with the
mediocre and fail to attain the full purpose of God
for our lives. If we live our own way, doing those
things we did before coming to Christ, and continue
with old habits, then we are committing sin by
failing to “hit the target” God has set for us.

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 We need to consider not only violations of
God’s Word but also failure to press on to
God’s will for our lives.

2. If we sow any form of unrighteousness or

disobedience as Christians it is sin!
We thank God for His willingness to forgive, but if
we disobey His Word it is sin. So we become
accountable, and the result will be the reaping of a
negative harvest. Remember that a harvest is always
greater in proportion than that which is sown. One
seed seldom brings forth one; it brings forth many.
We need to consider not only violations of God’s
Word but also failure to press on to fulfill God’s
will for our lives. Both of these aspects are vital if
we are to avoid God’s judicial dealings.

Signs and Symptoms

How can we know the cause of the problem or
difficulty through which we are passing? In the
medical profession doctors look for signs and
symptoms to help their diagnosis. It is possible to
make a spiritual diagnosis.
What are the signs and symptoms if our difficulty is
due to failure to appropriate all the provisions of the
Cross or if we are reaping negative results in our
lives from sin or disobedience?
If we are reaping adverse results because we have
sown negatively, then there will be in our lives a
sense of despair, doubt, confusion, and fear. There
will be times of unbelief and a sense of great

191
pressure. There will be a heaviness upon our lives
and a lack of strength. Not all of these will be
present together, but we will experience some if not
all of these until the right action is taken to bring
freedom and release. In Psalm 33, King David
writing of his experience following his sin, made the
statement that is recorded in The Living Bible in
this manner:
But my dishonesty made me
miserable, and filled my days with
frustration. All day and all night.
Your hand was heavy on me. My
strength evaporated like water on a
sunny day. (Psalm 32:3–4)
David was reaping from what he had sown, and this
was evident by the signs and symptoms that were
affecting his life.
We have looked at the two negative aspects – failing
to appropriate or reaping what we have sown – so it
is now essential that we learn to clearly understand
if our difficulties are being allowed by God for our
growth and development.
What are the signs and symptoms if we are being
disciplined, or pruned by God so that we will be
true Sons and daughters and be able to bring forth
more fruit? We will have a great sense of
confidence in God and a recognition of the
sufficiency of His grace. Even in the midst of
turmoil, there will be inner peace and joy. We will
have a clear conscience and be free of inner guilt
because of what we were once trying to hide. There
will be an acceptance that God is working all things
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together for good. We will not have to talk ourselves
into believing this, but we will know it deep in our
spirits and will have confidence that in spite of all
that is taking place, God is still in control and has
not forsaken us.
We will know what it means to be an overcomer and
so rise above the circumstances that confront us, and
not only win victory over them, but continue to
conquer them until they have no active power to rise
up again and bring despair to us. This is what the
Bible means when it speaks about our being “more
than conquerors” (Romans 8:37). Not only have we
conquered, but we have also subdued the enemy or
area of failure, and it has no power to affect us
again.

Even in the midst of turmoil,

there will be an inner peace and joy.

The inner witness of the Holy Spirit is a great

confidence, but we need to have this confirmed by
our brothers and sisters in Christ. It is possible to
convince ourselves that we have peace even when
we are wrong. There is a significant passage of
scripture found in Deuteronomy following the
promises of blessings or curses that are given for
obedience or disobedience:
When such a person hears the words
of this oath, he invokes a blessing on
himself and therefore thinks, “I will
be safe, even though I persist in
going my own way.” This will bring

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 disaster on the watered land as well
as the dry.
The Lord will never be willing to
forgive him; his wrath and zeal will
burn against that man. All the curse
written in this book will fall upon
him, and the Lord will blot out his
name from under heaven.
(Deuteronomy 29:19–20)
This is a very solemn passage that speaks of a man
who is violating the Word of God and yet blesses
himself in his heart and says that he will have peace.
People have sometimes said to me, “I have a perfect
peace about what I am doing,” but later events have
proven beyond doubt that their action was wrong.
The Living Bible perhaps gives even a clearer
understanding of the verses to which we have just
referred:
Let no one blithely think, when he
hears the warnings of this curse, I
shall prosper even though I walk in
my own stubborn way! For the Lord
will not pardon! His anger and
jealousy will be hot against that
man. And all the curses written in
this book shall lie heavily upon him,
and the Lord will blot out his name
from under heaven. (Deuteronomy
29:19–20)
It is not only our own inner peace and confidence
that is needed, it is also the confirmation of those

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who can look at our attitude and action objectively.
From years of observing Christians, and from my
own personal experience, I am convinced that a high
percentage of our problems are of our own making.
We are under the judicial dealings of God because
of some disobedience or failure even though we
have been forgiven. Let us look at some confirming
scriptures:
Have you noticed how Ahab has
humbled himself before me?
Because he has humbled himself I
will not bring this disaster in his day,
but I will bring it on his house in the
days of his son. (1 Kings 21:29)
Because Ahab humbled himself, God removed the
immediate judgment from him, but later allowed the
penalty to come on Ahab’s household. God
extended mercy to Ahab, but not removal of the
consequences. We read:
Because your heart was responsive
and you humbled yourself before the
Lord when you heard what I have
spoken against this place and its
people, that they would become
accursed and laid waste, and
because you tore your robes and
wept in my presence, I have heard
you, declares the Lord. (2 Kings
22:19)
This is an incident in the life of King Josiah when
God spared him because of his youth, but later the
nation suffered because of his sin.
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It is possible to convince ourselves that we
have peace, even when we are in the wrong.

When the Lord saw that they

humbled themselves, this word of
the Lord came to Shemaiah: “Since
they have humbled themselves, I will
not destroy them but will soon give
them deliverance. My wrath will not
be poured out on Jerusalem through
Shishak.
“They will, however, become subject
to him, so that they may learn the
difference between serving me and
serving the kings of other lands.” (2
Chronicles 12:7–8)
This passage speaks of King Rehoboam who
repented of the sin he had committed, but the Bible
says that although he received mercy from God and
deliverance in his immediate situation, he went on
reaping some of the consequences of his folly.
Then Hezekiah repented of the pride
of his heart, as did the people of
Jerusalem; therefore the Lord’s
wrath did not come upon them
during the days of Hezekiah. (2
Chronicles 32:26)
Hezekiah, after his failure, humbled himself and
God removed the punishment that had been
threatened, but later the nation suffered.

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Sometimes we can escape the consequences of our
actions but leave a negative heritage for others. The
Bible says that the sins of the fathers can be visited
upon the children to the third and fourth
generations! (Exodus 20:5).
When God is allowing testing for our development,
however, we will not be like these Old Testament
figures who willfully disobeyed and then sought
God’s mercy, but we will have an attitude of
submission and humility. We will not be arrogant
and self-willed, determined to do what we think is
right regardless of the opinions of others who are
concerned for our welfare. More tragedies have
come from such an attitude than from any other
single cause in the life of the church. Years of
confusion have often followed those who have acted
in this way. Jesus made this statement:
The greatest among you will be your
servant. For whoever exalts himself
will be humbled, and whoever
humbles himself will be exalted.
(Matthew 23:11–12)
God asks for humility from us, then when we act
this way he gives us honor and recognition. James
says this:
Humble yourselves before the Lord,
and He will lift you up. (James 4:10)
The apostle Peter continues with the same theme:
“Young men, in the same way be
submissive to those who are older.
All of you, clothe yourselves with
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 humility toward one another,
because, God opposes the proud but
gives grace to the humble. Humble
yourselves, therefore, under God’s
mighty hand, that He may lift you up
in due time.” (1 Peter 5:5—6)
God wants to honor us if we will be humble and
submissive. When we maintain this attitude, then
even though we pass through times that may seem
difficult, God will use the circumstances to refine
our character and cause us to grow more like Christ.
This is, of course, God’s ultimate purpose.

Sometimes we can escape the

consequences of our action, but leave a
negative heritage for others.

We can live in genuine freedom and have victory

over the adverse circumstances which confront us.
We can enjoy God’s fellowship and peace through
His forgiveness. We can have the confidence that
because of God’s pardon we are not suffering the
consequences of sin. This is what God wants. He
does not want people under condemnation and fear,
but people who are filled with joy and peace and
who are overflowing with hope, knowing that in
every test the grace of God will be sufficient for
them.
There are times when we all feel a measure of
despair. I have often felt like giving up the
responsibility of church leadership. I have never
wanted to give up my faith in the Lord. I have never
wanted to be a backslider. There have been,
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however, times of deep disappointment when I have
been discouraged and later found it necessary to
confess to the Lord that I had not been looking to
Him but to the problem. Sometimes I have had to
reap what I have sown and go through the dealings
of God in a judgmental way because of my own
fear, disobedience, or unwillingness to trust Him
when I was under pressure. We all have the same
human tendencies that cause us to feel the impact of
opposition or hurts, but the Lord wants to teach us
to stand fast and accept that all of these events will
ultimately be for our good.
When conducting a series of studies on the Sermon
on the Mount, I was impressed by the words in the
Lord’s Prayer which make this simple statement,
“Give us today our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11).
What great faith it requires to be able to pray those
words and ask for a supply sufficient for only one
day! Not many of us would like to be in the position
of having food for only one day in our house!

We can live in genuine freedom and have

victory over the adverse circumstances
which confront us.

What trust in God had to be shown by the people of

Israel when wandering in the wilderness to gather
only enough manna for one day! What natural
doubts would have been in their minds wondering
whether the supply would again be available the
next day.
We may be faced with times when we will need an
absolute assurance that God is with us in spite of
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opposition or hardship, so we need to know how to
discern what is happening in our lives. If we apply
the principles set out in this chapter, we will quickly
learn whether we are suffering because of our own
failure or are being trained as true sons and
daughters of God.

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 Chapter 7
How to Forgive

We have examined many different aspects as we

have studied the biblical basis of forgiveness, and I
now want to give some practical ways by which we
can achieve the object of knowing how to genuinely
forgive.

Hearing or Doing?
It is not difficult to set out principles and commands
that we discover in the Bible, but to put them into
practice is, as all of us have discovered, an entirely
different matter. We can know what the Bible says,
we can agree with it, but when it comes to doing it,
the challenge can be too hard for us.
Jesus knew that men and women were better hearers
than doers and the Bible has much to say about the
difference between hearing and doing. In particular,
Jesus spoke strongly on the subject when He said to
the crowd who had gathered, “Do you have eyes but
fail to see, and ears but fail to hear?” (Mark 8:18).
These people were watching Him and listening to
Him, but obviously were not putting into practice
what was being said. In Matthew 7 at the close of
the chapter concluding the Sermon on the Mount,
the Lord emphasized with a powerful parable the
difference between hearing and doing. I have always

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been challenged by this parable of the two houses,
one built on the sand and the other on the rock.
It is easy to tell people to be doers of the Word and
not hearers only. This living out the Word of God
must become real in our experience. We cannot just
give lip service to what the Bible says; there must be
a definite implementation of the scripture. We read:
We know that God does not listen to
sinners. He listens to the godly man
who does his will. (John 9:31)
It is not merely our worshipping that causes God to
hear us, but it is a worshipper who does His will that
the Lord hears. The theme of being a doer and not a
hearer only is repeated in many parts of scripture.
We read this in the letter written by James:
Anyone who listens to the word but
does not do what it says is like a
man who looks at his face in a mirror
and, after looking at himself goes
away and immediately forgets what
he looks like.
But the man who looks intently into
the perfect law that gives freedom,
and continues to do this, not
forgetting what he has heard, but
doing it – he will be blessed in what
he does. (James 1:23–25)

The difference between building upon a

rock and building upon sand is not how

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 much we know, or how much we believe,
but how much we do.

The emphasis is upon the need to put into practice

what we hear. James continues his letter with this
statement:
Anyone, then, who knows the good
he ought to do and doesn’t do it,
sins. (James 4:17)
If we are aware of truth and do not do what is
commanded, we are guilty not merely of an
omission, but of sin! There are acts of commission
where we deliberately violate God’s Word, but there
are also acts of omission, where we know to do
what God commands but we fail to do it. Both are
sins as far as God is concerned.

A Root Cause
The practical application of our faith very often
seems too difficult. We can be extremely thankful
that God forgives us, but we also need to be aware
of our responsibility to forgive one another. We can
also acknowledge that failure to forgive another
person will impair our fellowship with God. We can
accept the Bible statement that unforgiveness can
cause a root of bitterness which can defile ourselves
and many others, yet in spite of this knowledge we
may have been so deeply hurt by the events of life
that it seems impossible to forgive.

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We must find a practical answer. How can we
forgive when the hurts have been so deep and the
wounds have done so much damage to our
personality that we cannot put our knowledge into
practice?
In the last chapter titled “What is Happening?” we
examined various causes of problems and turmoil
that occur in peoples’ lives. Were those difficulties a
result of reaping what had been sown? Were they
because of a failure to appropriate the provisions of
the Cross? Or was God allowing us to be tested to
build our character? The root problem, the very
center of the subject we are studying, is our failure
to forgive others! Because we have not forgiven
some other person, we are living with a major
problem. Unforgiveness eats away at all areas of our
lives mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and is
often the primary reason for our being miserable.
Let me repeat what Jesus said:
For if you forgive men when they sin
against you, your heavenly Father
will also forgive you. But if you do
not forgive men their sins, your
Father will not forgive your sins.
(Matthew 6:14–15)
I said in the third chapter that this statement by
Jesus could not possibly apply to the forgiveness
that has to do with our eternal salvation, otherwise
salvation would be in some measure of works and
the grace of God would be undermined. Jesus was
not speaking about salvation when He made that
declaration.

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On one occasion a prominent businessman spoke to
me about the question of forgiveness and when I
told him about my studies on the subject he said,
“For some time I have been very concerned about
the statement in the Lord’s Prayer where it says,
‘Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our
debtors.’” (Matthew 6:12). This man attended a
traditional church where it was the custom for the
congregation to repeat the Lord’s Prayer together.
He continued, “For some time now I have been
unable to say those words as I have become so
concerned about the implications of asking God to
forgive me in proportion to how I forgive others.”
This man knew that his ability to forgive others did
not match the forgiveness that he needed from God,
and so he was in confusion. I was able to tell him
that I did not believe that the forgiveness referred to
had to do with our eternal salvation, but with our
fellowship with God and was, therefore, still a vital
factor for our inner peace, emotional stability, and
Christian growth.
If we do not forgive another person we do not lose
our salvation, but it affects our relationship with
God and in turn this can bring negative results
physically, mentally, and emotionally in our own
lives. And it happens!

How can we forgive when the hurts have

been so deep and the wounds have done so
much damage to our personality that we
cannot put our knowledge into practice?

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We must learn to forgive or we will constantly be at
odds with God and ourselves. Our continuing
intimate fellowship with God and the enjoyment of
His daily presence is endangered if we will not
forgive others. We may be saved, but we will
certainly not enjoy the blessing, joy, health, strength
and quickening of the Holy Spirit, because we have
brought ourselves under God’s judgmental dealings
by violating one of His great principles.
We must remember that forgiveness by us does not
condone the actions or words of another person.
One of the reasons why people are reluctant to
forgive is that they think that by forgiving they are
endorsing a person’s action. This is not so! What we
are doing is leaving the judgment and the
consequences of the other person’s actions in the
hands of an all-seeing and all-knowing God. We can
have complete confidence that when we forgive,
God goes on dealing with the problem and it is now
His responsibility, not ours.
There are many hidden causes and reasons why
people offend against others. I have tried to look
objectively at different situations that have occurred
in my own experience, but to know the heart of
another person is impossible.
Each of us takes a certain action because we think
we have a valid cause, and others may not
understand why we have done it. The heart of a man
or a woman is known only to God. We will
generally see events from our own point of view, so
if I am involved in a situation where I have been
hurt or offended, I will have a natural bias in my

206
own favor. The only sensible action that we can take
is to leave the matter to God who knows the heart of
the other person and not just the outward
circumstances that we see. By doing this we keep
ourselves free from God’s judgment, because we
have genuinely forgiven the one who has offended
us. Our fellowship with God is kept in harmony and
the Lord takes care of the problem.

We must learn to forgive or we will

constantly be at odds with God
and ourselves.

Benefits to Receive
There are practical steps that we can take so that we
will not be caught in the snare of unforgiveness. I
suppose that hardly a week goes by without our
being offended or hurt in some way, either at work,
at home, or in church life. Nearly all of us are
sensitive to what others say or do. Some pretend to
be indifferent to hurtful situations but often
underneath, they are deeply wounded, but are too
proud to acknowledge it. It is natural to be hurt or
offended when we are wrongly treated. What is
unnatural is not to care or to try and ignore it, and
that can result in a person becoming calloused and
bitter. We have to work hard at implementing the
clear principles which we find in the Bible, but if we
don’t we will find ourselves holding unforgiveness
and will suffer the consequences.
Let me give some definite steps that we can take:

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Remind yourself of the benefits you will receive
spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically, by
genuinely forgiving others. This is the first step.
We are not selfish in doing this. Take into account
the beneficial results if you forgive, or the harmful
results if you do not forgive. The “old self life”
loves to hold on to its hurts! We say, “I’m not going
to let that pass without retaliation. I won’t forget
that easily.” That is “self” speaking. We are in a
battle against our old nature and we must remind
ourselves of the blessings that God gives when we
act and respond His way. In John’s third letter he
says:
Dear friend, I pray that you may
enjoy good health and that all may
go well with you, even as your soul
is getting along well. (3 John 2)
That is God’s desire. Remind yourself that the Lord
wants the best for you. There are great benefits to be
received in every area of life if we will do what God
says and honestly forgive those who may have
wronged us. Unforgiveness will rob you of the best.

Take into account the beneficial results if

you forgive, or the harmful results if you do
not forgive.

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Forgiveness Received
Remember that you have been forgiven by God.
This is the second step.
All of us were sinners without hope and deserving
of nothing except death and eternal separation from
God. The Lord in His great love sent Jesus, allowing
Him to be despised, rejected, crucified, and taking
the sin of us all. In this action God forgave us in
Christ.
Remember the forgiveness that you have received.
Not only what we have received but what we
continue to receive as we confess and repent if there
is further failure. Could any of us say that even in a
short period of time we had not violated God’s
Word, His way, or His goal for our life? We may
not have deliberately sinned, but perhaps in some
unguarded moment we missed an opportunity for
good, yet God forgave! You may have said, “Lord
I’m sorry! I didn’t really mean to do that! I was
indifferent! I was lazy! Please forgive me!” And
God forgave. If we receive forgiveness on this scale,
it is a small thing to forgive others even if they don’t
ask for forgiveness.
Keep thanking the Lord for His willingness to
forgive. I have always appreciated God’s mercy.
The mercy of God has been an attribute of His
nature which has blessed and encouraged me. In
spite of all our failure God is merciful, and of
course, mercy leads to forgiveness and forgiveness
to pardon. We need to have an attitude of
thankfulness to God that, in spite of our failure,
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weakness, or discouragement, He has forgiven and
restored us to fellowship. If we do this we will find
that it is another practical way of helping us to
forgive others. We will keep sensitive to the subject
of forgiveness.

An Inviolate Principle
Recognize the inviolate principle of sowing and
reaping. This is the third step.
We have already dealt with this subject in detail, but
it is a truth which must constantly be kept in mind.
Every action of ours will bring forth a definite
result. This is unchanging. If we sow evil then
sooner or later we will reap evil. If we sow that
which is good we will reap positive benefits.
The results can vary according to how much
attention we give to the seed we have sown. In the
natural, when a seed is sown it requires watering
and to be cared for in order to bring forth a full crop.
If the seed is sown and then neglected and left
without water, it might never germinate.
In the spiritual realm we might sow a seed and
immediately realize its negative possibility and act
instantly to destroy its power to bring forth a
negative harvest. This is done by immediate
repentance, confession, and, if applicable,
restitution. Very seldom, however, do people do
this, but they either allow the seed to lie and be
watered by the general circumstances of life or they
actively assist the development by continuing their
negative course of action.

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 Keep thanking God for His
willingness to forgive.

Let me give a personal experience that happened

during the time that my wife and I were selling one
property and purchasing another. One of the people
who was interested in buying our property was a
businessman. He came with his wife to inspect our
home on several occasions and meticulously
checked out every aspect of the premises. He drove
his car into the garage to make sure that it would fit
comfortably, and finally made an offer that was far
below a fair market value. Without hesitation we
turned down the offer. The next day the agent
handling the transaction telephoned and said, “I’ve
got another buyer that I am sure will purchase the
property.” The person came and accepted the price
that we had asked. Later the contract for the sale
was signed. Within two days the original man
telephoned and said, “Have you signed the
contract?”
I said, “Yes.”
He replied, “I’ll give you $2,000 more if you’ll get
the buyer to change her mind.”
I said, “It’s too late!”
This man had wanted to purchase the apartment we
owned in this particular high-rise block, but because
of his hard bargaining he had lost the opportunity.
Later he purchased an apartment in the block but
one without many of the advantages and extras
which ours had, and he finally paid many thousands

211
of dollars more. He sowed from a selfish spirit and
reaped a loss.
I am not against someone looking for a good
business deal, but there is a difference between
being an astute businessman and seeking to deprive
someone of a fair transaction. I use this illustration
because it made an impact on me at the time and
clearly illustrates that we will reap what we sow
whether in business, spiritually, in home life or in
other personal relationships. Take this principle
seriously. It may not happen immediately and we
may think that we are getting away with it, but we
won’t because “the birds will come home to roost.”
It is a principle of God’s Word, not a theory.
It is essential that we forgive quickly. The longer we
hold unforgiveness the harder it is to let go. The
more we think about the reasons for our hurt and
dwell upon it, the more our mind is captivated by
the supposed justice of our case. Then we try to
justify our attitude and are caught in the web of
unforgiveness.

We will reap what we sow whether in

business, spiritually, in home life or in other
personal relationships.

We are strange people! We think about a hurt and it

seems to get bigger and bigger, and we begin to
think of what we could have said at the time the
problem occurred. We think of a sharp retort that
would have answered a cutting word, or a weakness
in an accusation where a right word from us would
have proved the person wrong. The more we think
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this way the larger the hurt grows until it has
expanded out of all proportion.
Some years ago I read a story entitled “Want to
Borrow a Jack’. It told of a man who was driving his
car on a country road at night and got a flat tire.
When he went to change the wheel he discovered
that he had left the jack for the car at home. There
he was, stranded on a lonely road in the darkness
with no other cars passing by, with a flat tire and no
jack to change the wheel. He waited and waited, but
no car came. In the distance he could see a light so
he thought to himself, “That is a farm house and the
people will probably have a car. I’ll walk there and
ask to borrow a jack. So he set off.
As he walked, he began to muse within himself and
said, “Well, perhaps they might not have a jack or
might not like being disturbed at night. They will
probably say to me, “If you are stupid enough to
leave home without a jack, you can pay to hire it.”
I will say, “Pay to borrow a jack! I didn’t
deliberately get a flat tire! Can’t you help a man in
time of need?”
The imagined conversation continued. “He will
probably say, “It will cost you $20 if you want to
use my jack.”
I will say, “$20 just to let me have a loan of a jack!”
The man looked up and suddenly the lights in the
house went out. He thought, Now they are in bed! It
will probably be worse! Now the farmer won’t want
to get out of bed and will probably say, “If I have to
get out of bed to get a jack for you it will cost you
213
$40.” The man angrily said to himself, “$40 just to
borrow a jack!”
He walked aggressively to the front door of the
house mumbling to himself, “$40 just to borrow a
jack.” He knocked loudly on the door. An upstairs
window opened and a man leaned out and said,
“Hello, what do you want?”
The stranded traveler, angry and stirred by his own
thoughts, looked up to the face in the window and
shouted, “You and your jack, you can keep it!”
Isn’t that true of human nature? We build up a big
case about what might happen, or we feel resentful
about a real hurt or the words someone used and
what we should have said in return, and all the time
we are enlarging the problem. If we have a need to
forgive, let us act on it quickly.

It is essential that we forgive quickly. The

longer we hold unforgiveness
the harder it is to let go.

When my older brother first started work as a junior

in a carpet warehouse, it was in the days when a
company manager was a person to be feared, and
this hardheaded manager said to my brother, “I want
to give you some advice; cultivate a good memory.”
That sounded like wisdom, but it was what followed
that was so significant. The manager said, “If you
don’t have a good memory you might forget
someone against whom you have a grudge!” Here
was a man whose desire for a good memory was to
make sure that he would continue to hold

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resentment and get even with others. That man died
years later miserable, lonely, and largely friendless.
How tragic! Learn to forgive quickly because we
will never beat the principle of reaping what we
sow.

Whose Life and Whose Work?

Realize that your life does not belong to you but to
God. This is the fourth step. Paul wrote this:
For none of us lives to himself alone
and none of us dies to himself alone.
If we live, we live to the Lord; and if
we die, we die to the Lord. So,
whether we live or die, we belong to
the Lord.
For this very reason, Christ died and
returned to life so that he might be
the Lord of both the dead and the
living. (Romans 14:7–9)
Our life is not our own! Is that statement a spiritual
cliché or truth? Most of the reasons we have for
holding unforgiveness relate to personal hurts.
Children have been hurt by their parents perhaps
through strict discipline, lack of love, neglect, or
even abuse. Parents have been hurt by their children
as a result of unthankfulness and indifference for all
the provisions and sacrifices that have been made.
Wives have been deserted by their husbands and left
without financial support. Husbands may have been
betrayed by their wives. The list is endless. Personal

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hurts are usually the cause of unforgiveness. Paul’s
letter to the Romans includes this statement:
For we know that our old self was
crucified with him so that the body
of sin might be done away with, that
we should no longer be slaves to sin.
(Romans 6:6)
In the context, these words refer to sin, but they can
equally apply to our personal rights. We do not have
personal rights! The Bible makes clear that if our
life belongs to Christ, then we do not have anything
we can claim to be our own. If we were deserving of
death because of sin, then our life is dependent
entirely upon Christ. This truth must be constantly
affirmed.
The problem both in the church and in our personal
lives is that we know these words so it is easy to say
them, but putting them into action can be a major
battle. We must get to grips with this truth if we are
going to win the battle to genuinely forgive.
Acknowledge that you do feel hurt, but also
acknowledge these truths, “I am dead! My life is
hidden with Christ in God! I live but only because I
live in Him and He lives in me!” We do not have
personal rights. Our lives belong to Christ.

It is because of personal hurts

that there is usually unforgiveness
in the hearts of people.

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Reassess that the spiritual work we are doing
belongs to God and not ourselves. This is the fifth
step.
If we are in some position of leadership, this is a
particular area of challenge. Most Christians find
that the greatest number of hurts and disappoint-
ments that arise in life do not come from people in
their secular environment but from people in the
church.
I was a self-employed businessman for twenty-five
years, and although I suffered a certain amount of
opposition and unjustified criticism in my business
life I had to endure more ill-will, bitterness,
disloyalty, and untruthfulness within church life. So
often the hurts we receive and the problems we face
come from those we love and care for rather than
from the outsider.
This does not only happen in leadership! It is in any
task that we do. Other people are unappreciative of
what we have done. We may have labored in some
task, given sacrificial service, taught Sunday
School, led a youth group or been involved in some
other voluntary work, and nobody expressed
appreciation but were to the contrary, critical. The
task may have cost us money and time, yet all we
received was criticism or lack of thanks. When we
have experiences like these, the conditions for
unforgiveness are present.
The last twenty-five years have produced some
exciting spiritual progress. There has been the
Charismatic Renewal, the introduction of church
growth seminars and principles, and a recognition of
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the five-fold ministry gifts that Christ has given for
the equipping of the church. But the current spiritual
scene is still one of suspicion, misunderstanding,
disloyalty, criticism, exaggeration, and sometimes
hostility. We should rejoice at the good things that
the Holy Spirit is doing, but conditions within the
church and among believers constantly give rise to
the need for forgiveness.

So often the hurts we receive and the

problems we face come from those we love
and care for rather than from the outsider.

How can we forgive when the very work of God in

which we are involved is hindered and set back by
the selfish actions of men and women? A church
body that may have taken years to build is suddenly
split by an associate and we say, “How can we
forgive someone who does that?” The answer is
quite simple although it may be hard to put into
operation when we are passing through the trauma.
The fact is, it is not our work; it is the Lord’s work.
A church does not belong to a man or a woman or
the eldership. The church belongs to Jesus Christ.
Jesus said, “I will build my church” (Matthew
16:18).
God gives us the privilege of being co-workers with
Christ, but it is the Lord’s work. We are not building
a personal kingdom. We are workers in the
Kingdom of God and we need to remind ourselves
of this. It is not a personal ministry that is at stake.
We are servants of Christ, and God has a right to
take up a person and use him or set him aside as He

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desires. It is the prerogative of the Lord to work
within His church as He wishes. Often it is difficult
to come to grips with this as we believe we have
been called to a task and we see others bringing
disruption and hurt to the body. The natural
tendency is to fight back and to deal with the
troublemakers, but we must keep reminding
ourselves that the work belongs to God and not to
us.
That does not mean that we stand back and allow
Satan to do whatever he wants. We must be on our
guard, and be diligent and fervent in all we do. But
when we have done all that we can righteously do,
we must then leave God to do the rest.
God knows how to purge, refine, and build, so the
moment we think it is our work and that the success
of the church depends upon us and we are its
protector, then we have a wrong perspective. It is
God’s work! When we realize this, then the weight
of the hurts and burdens that give rise to
unforgiveness and have come because of our desire
to protect a work will lift from us.

Forgiveness Does Not Excuse!

Reassure yourself that forgiveness and pardon are
not the same. This is the sixth step.
I have stressed this previously but I want to
summarize it again. We do not have the
responsibility to complete the moral cycle and see
someone receive his just punishment. God knows all
the facts without distortion or bias. The record of the
Bible is clear; God will deal with every problem and
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do whatever is necessary for correction, so we can
leave the judgment and consequences to Him.

It is the prerogative of the Lord to work

within His church as He wishes.

We have considered six definite attitudes to adopt

and actions to take in order to genuinely forgive.
These are clear principles. Six positive steps we can
take to help us to forgive; affirmations that we can
make every day, if necessary, to overcome the
problem of unforgiveness.
There is one other vital aspect that we must
recognize. Jesus did not only say, “Forgive one
another” (Matthew 6:15). He also said, “Love one
another, even our enemies” (Matthew 5:44). This is
another key in helping us to forgive someone who
has let us down, wronged and hurt us, or even
despised us. Yes, Jesus said we were to love even
our enemies! Someone who has failed us does not
automatically become our enemy, but we may find
it impossible initially to have the same complete
trust and confidence in a person who has let us
down as we did before the problem arose. The Lord
does not expect us to have the same confidence! A
person must be proved again, and his integrity and
credibility re-established.
Many people have an inaccurate understanding of
trust. We put our trust in a friend or even in a family
member, and that person fails the trust we put in
him. It is almost certain that we will all fail some
trust that is put in us. Someone confides in another
and asks that the information not be given to any
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one else. A typical conversation goes like this, “I
have just heard some confidential news and if you
promise not to tell anyone else, I will tell you.”
Most of us are too curious to decline the opportunity
to hear some hot gossip so we listen intently.
We now have the challenge to keep that information
private. Information can represent power, and the
only way we can exercise that power is to pass the
news to another person. Of course, we only do so
after exacting from them the promise not to tell
anyone else! And so the news spreads and we have
violated the original trust that was placed in us.
God knows how unreliable all of us can be, and the
Bible actually tells us not to trust another person
(Psalm 146:3). This may sound surprising as we are
always looking for someone to trust, and we
complain bitterly when someone fails us. It is true,
however, that the Bible tells us to trust only God but
to love one another. True love compensates for the
weaknesses that are inevitable in men and women.
While we do and must trust the motives of a loved-
one we also know that the best of his intentions can
fail, but true love makes allowances for failure.

A person must be proved again and his

integrity and credibility re-established.

We do need some measure of confidence in people,

and it is a blessing to have as our friends those who
are usually reliable and who will protect us from the
attacks of others. When someone has been in this
category and has then failed you, it may take a little
time to re-establish the same sense of confidence
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that you previously had, particularly if the failure
has been repeated. But regardless of how often a
person fails us, we still have the greater
responsibility of loving him through Jesus Christ.
As mentioned earlier there is a common idea that
because God is loving and forgiving, He forgets
about failure. God never forgets! When the Bible
speaks about God forgetting, it is used in the sense
of His not inflicting a penalty that otherwise would
be due. When the Bible says that God will no longer
remember our sins and iniquities it does not mean
that He cannot recall them any more, but that He
does not hold them against us. The average human
being is incapable of forgetting apart from the
dimming of memory with the passage of time. But
as God proves us after failure, so we must prove
people when they have failed us, and at the same
time we have a clear responsibility to forgive them
according to scripture (Matthew 18:21–22).

Loving and Liking

From what we have already seen in the scripture, it
is obvious that we must be able to both love and
forgive a person, even when we do not have the
same complete confidence in him. There is a
difference between loving and liking. When Jesus
said we are to love our enemies, He was speaking of
an attitude higher than liking, because who can
really like an enemy? We can love our enemies but
not necessarily like them.
Liking a person depends on many different aspects:
on temperament, personality, and common interests.

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All of these factors have a bearing on whether we
initially like someone. There are emotions that are
involved in liking. Liking could be defined as “the
drawing together of people in an agreeable,
enjoyable fellowship”. This is easy when we are
dealing with co-operative family members or loyal
friends, but not so easy when we are faced with
those who have hurt or wronged us.
We need to be as practical as possible and not be
satisfied with mere spiritual words. There is a
quality of love that is beyond natural or family love.
The Bible speaks of agape love which is the divine
love of God Himself and which the Bible declares
comes from the Holy Spirit:
And hope does not disappoint us,
because God has poured out his love
into our hearts by the Holy Spirit,
whom he has given us. (Romans 5:5)
Natural love comes from emotion. There are people
we love because of who they are. They are those
with whom we harmonize and feel a kindred spirit
that is joyous and pleasant, but agape love comes
from the will, not merely from emotion. Agape love
means “a determination of the mind where we
achieve an attitude of unconquerable goodwill
towards the one who may even have seriously
wronged us”. Another way of defining agape love is
“the power to love those we do not like and who do
not like us”.

There is a difference
between loving and liking.

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It is painful and surprising for a preacher to discover
that there are people who do not like his ministry! I
heard an international preacher say on one occasion,
“I’ve had to learn that there are people who cannot
abide my ministry!” Most of us who preach and
teach like to think that everyone will enjoy and
appreciate what we say, but that is not so. We must,
however, keep an attitude of unconquerable
goodwill towards those who do not like us and who
in turn we may not naturally like. This is not being
hypocritical. It is a genuine operation of a principle
of God.
If we treat a person as if we do like him, then this
releases agape love. It takes an operation of both the
will and of the mind if we are to treat a person
whom we do not like as if we really cared for him.
We might say, “How can we do that?” Well, we
can, and I would like to illustrate how it is possible,
from a very vivid personal experience.
As a young self-employed businessman, I had
moved my office from one location to the fifth floor
of a rather old building in the city where I then
lived. It was a building that had an old-fashioned
manually-operated lift. It was fitted with an interior
metal folding gate and required the services of an
operator in the busy working hours. The building
was owned by a transport company. They had
transferred one of the most aggressive and ill-
mannered drivers in their employment to be the lift
operator. This was because of his age and inability
to handle heavy loads.

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It was a semi-retirement job for this man, and the
tenants in the building were totally dependent on
him for the use of the elevator. He arrived early in
the morning and left after office hours. I moved into
the building happily thinking that I had a pleasant
new office with a view from the fifth floor, but
suddenly I met the impact of this man!
It would be impossible to really convey what he was
like! He never smiled. He half lounged against the
wall of the lift and when he did speak, his face
would scowl, and he would grunt out some terse
comment. I would greet him in the morning and say,
“Good morning.” There was only a grunt for a
reply. “It’s a pleasant day.” Another grunt! When
one pressed the call button, a bell rang in the lift,
and if the operator was on another floor, he would
take his time about coming. In fact, he would often
walk along the passage before answering the call
just to be difficult and unpleasant. By the time the
elevator arrived at the appropriate floor, the
intending passenger would often be furious! If a
complaint was made, his unpleasantness increased.
There was nothing one could do, because somehow
the company who owned the building was willing to
keep him employed in spite of his rudeness and lack
of efficiency.
Day after day I would go to the elevator, ring the
bell, wait, wait, and wait and finally the elevator
would arrive. The door would be flung open. “How
are you?” I would say, and a grunt would be the
only reply.

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I had recently had a new experience of the Holy
Spirit in my life and I had a deep desire to serve the
Lord with all my heart. The operator could,
however, make life difficult, so I suppose there was
some self-preservation in my attitude, because if one
got on the wrong side of this man he would take
even longer than normal to come. I determined to
keep up a barrage of goodwill toward him, and it
must have been by the grace of God as I didn’t
understand the principles that I am now sharing.
I learnt to give him a warm greeting in spite of his
rudeness. He would open the lift door and his
unhappy face would look out. “Good morning,” I
would say, “How are you?” The familiar grunt was
the only reply. “It’s a pleasant day, did you have a
good weekend?” Another grunt. I was determined to
win! It became a game and a challenge day after day
to say something cheerful and to greet him with
goodwill.
Month after month I kept at it, and finally he began
to respond with a smile and pleasant word and I
began to see him as a hurt, wounded, and crippled
man on the inside, not someone who was out to do
everyone a bad turn.
This man did not know what it meant to like people,
but when I came to move out of that building some
years later, I had a relationship with him that was
warm and pleasant, and I had even grown to like
him. He was just as unpleasant with some other
people, but I had won his respect by unconquerable
goodwill.

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Some days the challenge was too much to face, and
in the energy of my younger years, I bounded up the
five flights of stairs rather than be confronted by
that unpleasant man. It was not always easy to be
cheerful to him, but I finally won. We can act
toward a person as if we do like him and this
releases divine love.

Another definition of agape love is “the

power to love those we do not like and who
do not like us”.

When you have been hurt and need to forgive

someone, let me challenge you; meditate on these
six principles of how to forgive. If you fail and
retain unforgiveness, you will be the one who will
suffer. We know that it is vital to meditate on the
Word of God, and it is important to meditate on
these principles which are in harmony with what the
Bible says.
Direct goodwill toward the person who has offended
you, and keep on doing it! Don’t say, “Well, I tried
to treat him kindly once and all I got back was an
icy stare. That’s it! I’ve done my part. It’s over to
him now!” No! The ball is always in our court.
Keep on exercising goodwill and forgiving those
who have offended you if you want the continued
blessing of the Lord in your own life. Jesus said:”
But I tell you: Love your enemies
and pray for those who persecute
you, that you may be sons of your
Father in heaven...(Matthew 5:44–
45)
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If we are blessing and praying for people, then
something good is going to happen within us and
also within them. Agape love does not just happen.
We have to act in a positive way for divine love to
flow through us.
When we obey the truths that have been set out, we
will find it not only easy to forgive, but also to put
out of our mind those thoughts that for years have
negatively captured us. There is great power for
good to be set in motion in our lives through
genuine forgiveness. There is great power for harm
if we do not forgive! The Living Bible gives this
excellent paraphrase from Paul’s letter to the
Colossian church:
Be gentle and ready to forgive;
never hold grudges. Remember, the
Lord forgave you, so you must
forgive others.
Most of all, let love guide your life,
for then the whole church will stay
together in perfect harmony.
Let the peace of heart which comes
from Christ be always present in
your hearts and lives, for this is your
responsibility and privilege as
members of His body, and always be
thankful.
Remember what Christ taught and
let His words enrich your lives and
make you wise; teach them to each
other and sing them out in psalms

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 and hymns and spiritual songs,
singing to the Lord with thankful
hearts. (Colossians 3:13–16)
We will find a new dimension of freedom when we
learn to forgive. We will set in motion a flow of
peace, health, joy, prosperity, and blessing. God
wants us to enjoy His favor and His presence. He
wants us to have the assurance that even in hard
times He is training us to be mature sons and
daughters. The scriptures are clear concerning our
need to be forgiven by God, and our responsibility
to forgive others even if we are the offended party.
We cannot escape this responsibility if we want
God’s peace in our hearts. When we hold
unforgiveness toward others it will inevitably bring
problems into our lives. When we forgive others it
will bring release to us. While we hold unfor-
giveness we become the prisoner of the person
whom we will not forgive. Ill-will and bitterness can
rise in our minds and the thought of that person and
the wrong they may have done to us can be like a
cancer that spreads its destructive tentacles into our
entire being. God has been merciful to us, He has
forgiven us, and pardoned us. Let us, in turn, be
merciful and forgiving in all of our dealings with
others.

There is great power for good to be set in

motion in our lives through genuine
forgiveness. There is great power for harm
if we do not forgive!

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Unforgiveness brings problems.
Forgiveness brings blessing.

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