GRATITUDE MONTH

November is once again upon us. It is gratitude month here in the EA world. What are
we grateful for? How do I show gratitude each day? Am I grateful for the responsibility
of keeping the Service Center open to those who still have emotional problems?

It has been a difficult year for many of us. We can all understand that financially times
are very hard. If it is hard for us, imagine the difficulties the Service Center has to pay it’s
bills when the funds from members have slowed to a trickle. Yes, the organization is
paying its bills. In order to do this, we had to reduce hours for the staff of the Service
Center to help our budget to a place where it is fairly balanced. But, we can cut no more
without surrendering many of the things the staff does to keep the message of the EA
program going around the world.

If I am living in recovery, no matter at what level this recovery is, it has to be better than
where I first began. That is something to be very grateful for.

If I get up and get dressed and function through the day and am reminded of the 12
Steps, 12 Concepts, 12 Slogans, 12 Just For Today’s, and the 12 Promises, I can be
grateful that I have been given lots of tools to make better choices for the day that I am in
than I had before I began recovery.

Yes, the responsibility of keeping the doors of EA open rests with each one of us. We
have been given hope, love, and understanding by the tools that are wrapped up in the
EA program. The Service Center is the lighthouse of our EA program. People come,
ask for literature, and start meetings because they were able to find us.

The choice is yours…it can only continue to happen if we dig a little deeper and share a
bit of our recovery with those who are still stuck in the darkness of emotional problems.

Paul H, President, EA Board of Trustees

To give a gift of Gratitude, click here.

 EA Connection
Your monthly newsletter from ISC—November 2009

This month I would like to talk about Gratitude, for many of us, without this simple program of recovery, would be in
very dire straits. I have heard over and over about the miracle of EA. EA is important to all of us; we need it to continue
to have a life which makes peace and serenity possible.
In order to have this program, we also need to talk about finances. Group donations are down by 45%, and individual
donations are down more than 75%. EA needs your support if we are to continue to spread the miracle of EA. We have
more than 500 subscribers to the EA Connection, and 460 subscribers to our listserv—EAnon. If you all gave a little or a
lot, our potential finance disaster would disappear. November is Gratitude Month; please show your gratitude. What
we give away always comes back in one form or another. In this case, it might be growth in the program and that sense
of fulfillment when you give back. To give a gift of gratitude, click here .
Karen M, Executive Director

Of Importance to EA Groups
A clarification of the ordering of PDF’s: When you order a PDF, it is still copyrighted material. If you want to
make 10 copies from a PDF, you should order 10 copies, we will send a PDF that you can copy from. The real
advantage in ordering your literature as a PDF is that you pay no shipping. Although shipping is only 15% in
the US, it is a minimum of 35% for shipments to other countries which can make a great difference in cost. A
PDF will also be there the same day, there is no waiting for delivery. We hope you will use this convenient
tool.
Please see “2010 Convention News” on page 4

When I first showed up at EA ,it was in search of what my spouse was getting from another 12 Step program. I didn't
qualify for that program, but when I heard of EA I couldn't deny that I qualified. I knew from her experience that the 12
Step way was difficult and long-term. I also knew that it worked and I had some emotional problems for which nothing
else had worked. In short, I had what I now call the "Keys to the Door".
I have attended many hundreds of meetings, gone to many national conventions and read all the 12 Step literature I
could get my hands on. I have learned about Willingness and Acceptance at levels I had never imagined. I am still
learning. Today my focus is on Service. I finally have something that other people in meetings tell me they want. Most
days I have my share of Serenity and I have a Program that gets me through the rough spots in a matter of days rather
than months or years. I also understand what long-timers were talking about when they told me early on that they
were glad that they hadn't settled for what they were looking for when they went to their first meeting. The benefits
just keep expanding. Now my goal is not just Serenity but being Happy, Joyous and Free.
In short, this is not easy, and if I stop going to meetings and doing the Service work I do I will miss out on some even
larger benefits. Has it been worth it? Yup. I did what they were doing and I got what they had. I want more.
I pass this on because people were there at my first meetings and they passed it on to me. That's what we do.
Tom F, Trustee-at-Large

Special Gifts and Memorials

EA gratefully acknowledges gifts and memorials received during the past month.
There are no memorial or special gifts to report this month.
We continue to be thankful for past gifts.
 OUR EA TOOLS
likely to have problems with. I cannot than usual, because I could sort out
C ONCEPT 11: E ACH PERSON IS listen when I am busy trying to solve a what was necessary or not for this
ENTITLED TO HIS OR HER OWN
problem, nor when I am answering an purpose. I left home earlier, and had a
e-mail, I cannot listen when I am busy good cafe latte watching people
OPINIONS AND MAY EXPRESS THEM AT
being in control. I can only listen passing by. This allowed me to feel
A MEETING WITHIN THE GUIDELINES OF when I stop my busy mind and let treated nicely by myself, and
EA. WE ARE ALL EQUAL - NO ONE IS God do the talking. consequently to be nice to others.
MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANOTHER. Accepting myself brings me to
So, Just for Today, I will be open-
When I read Concept 11, it helps me minded and listen to the God of my accepting others, and accepting
know that I can belong in EA. It helps understanding...Anonymous others leads to accepting myself
me know that I am not less than much more again. This circle helps me
others or better than others. Seeing to come up from the bottom and to
myself as an "equal" is very important JUST FOR TODAY 11: I WILL NOT reach out to people for help. It is
amazing to realize how the program
to my emotional well-being. So many COMPARE MYSELF WITH OTHERS. I
times, before EA, I saw myself as less works for me. ...Yoko, Japan
WILL ACCEPT MYSELF AND LIVE TO THE
than others, as defective, and I felt BEST OF MY ABILITY.
others looked down on me because I SLOGAN 11: KEEP IT SIMPLE
had emotional problems. This is a very good reflection for me. It
helps me see that I have come a long Doesn’t it seem like even the tiniest
I love feeling that I am equal, and I way. And also that the danger still problems become complicated once
really strive to see that I treat others lurks in my shadows. In my work, we start to dwell on them? Our minds
who come to EA as "equal" just like where I work with four other take over, probing for information
me, and they are not less than, nor therapists, the temptation to be seen that isn’t there, attaching our
better than, but "equal". I pray to see as "the best" or at least "as good as" emotions to each issue, and making
not only people in EA as equals, but rears from time to time. It is so very problems seem more daunting than
my other fellow humans, too. I pray important to give my best—whatever they are. The Serenity Prayer offers us
for acceptance, compassion, it is that day—rather than to try to a solution: “God grant me the
understanding, forgiveness and love. I out-perform someone else. This is serenity to accept the things I cannot
trust my Higher Power will help me especially true when seeing someone change, the courage to change the
with those...Mary Ann else's client. If I give my best, that is things I can, the wisdom to know the
what I am there for. I cannot difference.” We have two options—
duplicate someone else's treatment. I accept or change— when faced with a
STEP 11: SOUGHT THROUGH PRAYER
cannot use the strength of a 30-year- new challenge. We must call on our
AND MEDITATION TO IMPROVE OUR old as a 52-year-old. By comparing Higher Power for the wisdom to know
CONSCIOUS CONTACT WITH GOD AS my work to someone else's and the difference. If it’s something we
WE UNDERSTOOD HIM, PRAYING ONLY thinking about what they might do, I must accept, we simply turn it over to
FOR KNOWLEDGE OF HIS WILL FOR US lose my ability to focus on each our Higher Power. If we must respond
AND POWER TO CARRY THAT OUT. individual client's need and letting or change, we ask for the courage we
Higher Power guide my hands. I close need to pull apart the strands of the
I have heard that "prayer" is talking to the intuitive communication. And problem and take action on what we
God, and "meditation" is listening to then I really am not giving my can. Life isn’t easy, but it is often
God. Neither has to be done in a best...Maivis simple. Let’s keep it that way.
formal setting. I can talk to and listen It Works if You Work It, page 78
to God at any time. I can ask for his
wisdom and guidance in my life at any Recently, I tried to figure out what my
time. first thing for the day would be before
I got up. It is very hard to concentrate
Usually the talking to part is easy; God
when half asleep, but I try. Yesterday,
help me with this writing; Bless those
the first thing for me was having a
that I love and care about; and, Grant
good cup of coffee before getting to
us some sense of peace on Earth.
my job. Once having made up my
It is the listening part that I am more mind, it was much easier to get ready
 EA TOOLS APPLIED TO: ACCEPTANCE
MY JOURNEY
I remember at the beginning of this new journey of mine in early March how I tried to force-feed
positive thoughts and affirmations. It didn’t work. Then I tried to force-feed gratitude. I couldn’t see
anything to be grateful for and when I would write down the obvious (my family, the sunshine, etc) it
didn’t connect with me. It felt phony. It was only once I accepted my negative, frightened feelings that I seemed to be
more at peace with them and they changed towards acceptance, serenity and non-resistance all on their own...Sophie

ACCEPT WHAT YOU LIKE AND LEAVE THE REST

As we were closing my f2f meeting Saturday I read the following: “Accept what you like and leave the
rest.” This reminded me that I have heard this phrase quite often lately; however, because I cannot
remember reading these words in the EA Big Book, the EA “It Works if You Work It” book, the AA Big
Book or the AA 12&12, I began to wonder what I was supposed to leave.
Can I leave any of the 12 Steps? No, because if I do I will not be working the full program.
Can I leave any of the 12 Traditions? No, because these are “policy” statements covering many aspects of our
organizational life.
Can I leave any of the Concepts? No, because these clarify many issues which could otherwise get me in difficulty when
talking about the Program.
Can I leave any of the Just For Today’s? No, because they give me some specific actions to take in my attempt to overcome
my emotional difficulties.
Can I leave any of the Slogans? No, because each very succinctly reminds me of some good aspect of the Program.
Can I leave any of the Promises? No, because they are not for me to accept or reject; instead they are “new attitudes and
feelings” that come to me as I progress in my Recovery. I may not have had all of them come true in my life yet, but it is not
up to me to throw them out. It is up to me to work my program as best I can in the hope that, with the help of my Higher
Power, they will come true for me.
So then, what can I leave? Oh, wait a minute—the preceding sentence says: “In closing, we would like to say that the
feelings expressed here were strictly those of the individual who related them” and then “Accept what you like….” In other
words, if I have heard some comments that are useful to me I can take them with me. If what I have heard is not useful to
me, I can leave it behind. But I can’t leave any of the Tools of the Program, or parts thereof, behind. The Tools are there to
help me recover...Ron
OPENING THE DOOR

It was only through acceptance that I opened the door for change to occur in my life. Acceptance is
surrender. Surrendering to the facts at hand for today. As our literature states, it doesn't mean I
have to like those facts, but just acknowledge the truth. In Step 1, I acknowledged and accepted the
fact that I had problems—later I did the same, fully understanding I had emotional problems. I surrendered the fact I could
not change all by myself—had tried that for years and failed. So upon finding this 12 Step program, I was offered a solution
for my problems. That solution was to find the God of my understanding inside me, clean house and then help others. The
acceptance and surrender required to do this took a little longer because I tried to analyze how these steps could possibly
work. At that time I was still running my show, trying to think my way into becoming someone different. It never occurred
to me that was part of the problem. It was my best thinking that got me where I was in life— miserable! It was suggested I
give it a sincere try in applying each of the 12 Steps to my life. So, I did. The change came gradually for me as it does for
the majority of us. And, boy, did I change!...Anonymous
 2009-2010 EA Service Board of Trustees

Region 1: English-speaking Canada 905-723-2035 General Service Trustee 607-272-0406

Muriel D—Email: [email protected] Tom F—Email: [email protected] Trustee-at-Large

Region 3: CO, IA, KS, MN, MO, NE, ND, SD, WI, WY 218-363-259 General Service Trustee 450-588-5461
Mary Jane L—Email: [email protected] Secretary Gilles M—E-mail: [email protected] Vice President

Region 4: AL, AR, FL, GA, LA, MS, OK, PR, TX 404-377-0277 Nonmember Trustee 612-822-8190
Nancy P—Email: [email protected] Judie H—Email: [email protected]

Region 6: DC, KY, MD, NC, OH, PA, SC, TN, VA, WV 330-244-8720 Ex-officio: Executive Director 651-647-9712
Paul H—Email: [email protected] President Karen M—Email: [email protected]

Region 7: CT, DE, ME, MA, NH, NJ, NY, RI, VT 603-624-8455
We do not currently have a trustees for Region 2 or
Harold F—Email: [email protected] Region 4. Please feel free to contact any trustees listed
should you have questions, concerns or just want to touch
Region 8: French-speaking Canada 450-586-6688 base. We are in the process of rearranging the regions and
Denis L—Email: [email protected] will keep you informed.

EA EVENT INFORMATION
It is with regret that we inform you that we do not currently have a home for the 2010
Convention. The chairperson has become ill and the area groups do not feel they can do it
without her. The board of trustees is looking for a solution. We hope to have some solid
information for you by our next issue. Your thoughts or ideas are welcome…..Karen Mead,

FROM YOUR TRUSTEES: Coping with the Holidays

We find that the holidays are stressful for many members, and we always have our meetings when they fall on holidays. Toronto EA
meetings do not have access to their meeting place on holidays, so they post an alternative meeting on their web site, sometimes a
coffee shop meeting or even an activity like bowling. We are never alone...MD Keep your expectations modest. Don’t get hung
up on what the holidays are supposed to be like and how you’re supposed to feel. If you’re comparing your holidays to some abstract
greeting card ideal, they’ll always come up short. So don’t worry about holiday spirit and take the holidays as they come...RH
About the middle of November I start using the slogans double time. They help me release tension. There are always so many things
to do, places to go, people to see and rich food to eat. That's why: One day at a time, first things first, this too shall pass, and keep it
simple—keep me sensible during the holiday season. Thanks, EA...ML We try to have special holiday meetings with special
themes, for instance for Halloween we had meetings on masquerades and fear. Costumes were optional. We also have a potluck to
which members contribute...HF We encourage groups to get together socially during the holidays. The Atlanta Intergroup has an
annual Christmas party, hosted by the same family every year. It is pot-luck, is a big hit, and well attended...NP The more I work
this program the more I realize that a major source of Recovery is other people. Yuck! When I started I was convinced that they
were the source of my problems. What is changed is that I have changed some of the people in my life and, most importantly,
changed how I deal with people. Giving more and demanding less and somehow getting much, much more. As we come to the
Holiday Season, I look forward with joy thanks to the Recovery I have. What a miracle…TF

Emotions Anonymous Thinking of the Holidays?

PO Box 4245, St Paul, MN 55104 There are many EA items that would make great gifts,
Phone 651-647-9712 Fax 651-647-1593 including medallions, our EA bear, EA logo shirts or
Office hours: Monday - Friday 10:00 am to 4:00 pm any of our books. We have found that the Today book
www.EmotionsAnonymous.org [email protected] is well-liked by all, whether they are in the program or
[email protected] [email protected] not. Order online, by phone, or
[email protected] [email protected]