FATHER TO SON

Introduction
The poem brings out the agony of a father who has lost all kinship with his son. The son
is now grown-up. He lives in his own world. He has no feeling of any relationship with
his father. The father bitterly feels the pangs of this emotional separation. He wants the
same kind of bond with his son as he had when the son was a little child. Instead of
coming together they are drifting apart. There is a gap of understanding and
communication.
Such a situation is a common feature in most of the families. The new generation wants
to live life on its own terms. The youngsters think independently. They cease to be on
talking terms. Father feels helpless. He is ready to forgive the child provided the latter
fees sorry. But he rarely tries to understand the young boys likes and dislikes, demands
and dreams. The conflict is never resolved because they refuse to compromise.
Summary
The father complains that he does not understand his own child. Though they have
lived together for so many years under the same roof. The father tries to build up a
relationship with his son from the early years, in a manner when his son began to
recognize people around, to crawl and to walk in a desperate attempt. The father wonders
whether he has destroyed the seed of his off-spring or sown it where the land belongs to
his heir and none is his. Both father and son continue to speak like strangers now and
there seem no signs of understanding in the air between the two. In traditional belief, the
son is created and born to the likings and designs of his father, yet in this case, the father
cannot share what his son loves. Most of the time silence surrounds them. The fathers
greatest wish is for his son to be The Prodigal son who will very soon return to his
fathers house; the home which he always knew. This is definitely the better alternative
rather than to see his son move out into the world blindly on his own, by himself and fall
into trouble. The father is ready to forgive him at any cost as long as he is able to reshape
him up from the long bounded sorrow to a new love. Both father and son all over the
world must learn to live on the same globe and on the same land. The father finally admits
that there are times that he cannot understand himself or why his anger grows from grief?
However they have learnt to put out each others empty hand and with each others heart
that is longing for something to forgive.
Explanation
The theme of the poem is the generation gap which occurs when the communication link
between two generations breaks due to a mutual lack of understanding, tolerance and
acceptance. The poem highlights the internal conflict a father undergoes when his son
becomes old enough to define his own interests, thoughts and perceptions. The brooding
father complains that he cannot understand his child despite having lived together for
many years in the same house. The father tries to continue a relationship based on what

he knew of the son from his youngest years but of course, the son has change over
time. The tone is almost pleading, attempting to find a link with his grown up son.
Using a typically agrarian imagery, he questions whether he has already lost his own
child, his son, due to this distance between them or was the son on a mental plane that
was entirely his own and which, the father cannot access. The father uses I in these lines
acknowledging his own role in creating this communication gap between them.
The father and son have become strangers with no understanding of each
other. Traditionally, the sons upbringing is in the very environment and with the values
the father provided. Thus, the father feels his son is built to his design and should be like
his father in most aspects. However, his son now has interests the father cannot share.
There is no shared passion, no common ground. Most times, there is only an awkward
silence between them. The frustration of the father is evident as he struggles to
understand why his own son, his flesh and blood, has turned into an absolute stranger.
The father in the poem sees his child as the prodigal (spendthrift, underlying implication:
foolish) son and wants him to return to the home he has always known. He does not want
the son to make his own world, away from his father. The father says he would forgive
his son if he asked for forgiveness like the prodigal son. He would love him again despite
the sorrow of the distance that existed between them once. The tone is slightly
condescending and implies that the father is unable to let his son go, even at the cost of
restricting the son's personal development and independence.
The son admits that he is at a point where he is struggling to understand even himself.
He does feel the grief of the broken relationship he shares his father and yet, there is an
anger that arises out of his confused, fraught inner self. The son speaks for the first time
and it is quite clear, that the frustration lies on both sides. Pablo Neruda once commented
on the sadness that arose from being unable to understand oneself. The son seems to be
in the same confused, sad and yet, angry phase of growth. This stanza is reminiscent of
the poem 'Childhood' which outlines a child's struggled to understand himself as he turns
into a young adult.
The father concludes the poem realizing that in their hearts, each of them wants to forgive
the other. However, neither wants to take the first step and ask for forgiveness. Each puts
out an empty hand for the other to take, but neither places theirs in the others hand.
However, it is positive that at least they long to forgive and find a way to make things
work.
Usually, by the time parents accept the new individuality of their children, the damage
has already been done and the process of coming together is difficult and
painful. Respecting each others differences is the only way to alleviate the distance, the
strange and awkward silence.
While the fathers anguish and frustration is highlighted, the ego comes through as well.
It is also noteworthy that the poem is written by a woman and not a man. A number of
questions remain open to speculation.

THE PRODIGAL SON is a Biblical reference from the New Testament's parables of Jesus.
The story is of a father with two sons. The younger demanded his inheritance despite the
fact that traditionally, the eldest born is heir. The father accedes and the spoilt younger
son leaves home. He spends his fortune foolishly, eventually returning to his father's
house with barely a stitch of cloth on his body. The father forgives him, and welcomes
him into his embrace with open arms and a celebratory feast.