Parentally Speaking
A monthly publication for caregivers in Middlesex County
Volume: III Issue: I January 2010
Providing Substance Abuse Prevention, Education, and Support for Personal Recovery
What’s Your Parenting Style?
No one has all the answers when it comes If you are doing all of those things, great!
to raising safe and healthy teens who are Keep on doing what you’re doing. But, we
prepared to succeed in the world. What need to keep in mind that this approach
we do know is that research shows that does not work for every parent and every
certain approaches to parenting can often child, especially as they get older. Remember
make a difference. And not just parents, that you are probably the best gauge of
but grandparents and other non-traditional your child’s needs and sometimes those
caregivers also can benefit from better needs include more rules rather than more
understanding, communicating and freedom. Also, continue to build awareness
connecting with the teen in their lives. of what is going on in your child’s life
by talking to other parents, family and
What we do know is that using a friends. Discuss your rules with them, why
balanced parenting style is best. And you’ve established these rules and how you
what is balanced parenting style? Well, want them enforced. The best parenting
it is one where as a parent you: balances love with limits and awareness.
• Nurture, discipline and Keep in mind that for some, a stricter
respect your child. parenting style might be more appropriate.
• Set standards and clear, reasonable limits. While you are very good at setting limits,
your relationship with your teen may include
• Keep track of your teen’s conflict and power struggles. You might also
behavior and whereabouts. get frustrated trying to control your teen’s
behavior. You are probably very good at:
• Enforce limits and consequences on
behavior firmly and consistently. • Knowing the importance of setting
limits and expectations.
• Allow freedom of thought and expression.
• Willing to discipline your child
as a way of showing how much
you love and care for him.
• Keeping track of your child’s
behavior and whereabouts.
• Working hard to protect your
teen from problem behaviors
and getting into trouble.
Continued on Page 2
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Conversations for Critical Times
Continued from Page 1 Balanced parents also
That’s all well and good. But you have to encourage and give
make sure you are simultaneously creating their teenagers the
a nurturing and warm atmosphere by freedom to express
verbally expressing your love for your their own ideas, beliefs
child through praise and affection. and individuality.
Make sure you listen and respect Studies show that
your teen’s opinions, even though you adolescents raised
may not agree. This will help keep by balanced parents
the lines of communication open. do better in school,
Make sure the discipline is always report less depression and anxiety, have
consistent with the consequences higher self-esteem and self-reliance, and
you’ve established with your child. are less likely to engage in all types of
risky problem behavior, including drug
And when and alcohol use, sex or violence.
appropriate,
provide For more information on this topic, please
opportunities check out Parents. The Anti-Drug at www.
where your theantidrug.com. And be sure to contact
child can NCADD for literature and videos available
negotiate through our Jason Surks Memorial
certain rules. Resource Center located at our offices
in East Brunswick. Our main number
Take time is 732-254-3344 or if you prefer you can
to explain email us at
[email protected].
why non-
negotiable rules are in place, and reinforce
that it is because you love her and want her Want to make a difference in your
to be safe. Try to always shift your focus from community or child’s school? Why not join
what your child is doing wrong to what he’s The Coalition for Healthy Communities
doing right. Spend more time reinforcing today! The Coalition brings together
good behavior than punishing bad behavior. individuals from multiple disciplines
who have a passion for the prevention
Twenty-five years of study have
and treatment of alcohol, tobacco,
shown that parents who have a strong, and other drug abuse problems. Their
positive connection with their kids and mission is to reduce substance abuse,
use a balanced parenting style have especially among youth, by providing
teens that are better off overall. opportunities for increased collaboration,
coordinated planning, and sharing of
Balanced parenting is where love, discipline
resources in order to maximize the
and respect intersect. Balanced parents
quality and availability of services to the
are warm and involved, but firm and
communities and residents of Middlesex
consistent in setting and enforcing limits. County.
Balanced parents have relationships with
their teens that include trust, mutual respect, For more information and to join, please
call 732-254-3344.
and strong and open communication.
2
2009 Monitoring the Future. The results are in.
The 2009 Monitoring the of legalized marijuana are level since 1991, and the
Future (MTF) survey the same states that rank the survey showed a drop in
results are out and though lowest for youth perception use of methamphetamine
the news is good on many of risk as it relates to in the past year by all
fronts, there are warning smoking marijuana. The grades. This is encouraging,
signs that there may be potential problem for New because it validates the
potential problems on the Jersey is that allowing effectiveness of new targeted
horizon. Two, in particular, qualified patients to use prevention efforts employed
are of immediate concern. marijuana openly will to reduce the spread of
inevitably strengthen the methamphetamine use.
The first is the continued perception among our youth
erosion in youth attitudes that marijuana is more Another lesson that we
and behavior toward available and more easily never seem to learn is
substance abuse. Specifically, accessible. We have seen that we cannot focus the
the latest MTF survey the same trend in recent majority of our efforts on
revealed that drug use years as youth discovered the hot drug of the moment
among U.S. adolescents and then embraced at the expense of our other
inched up between 2008 prescription drugs. successful efforts. We
and 2009. Results from need to expand successful
the survey also show The MTF survey should prevention efforts to areas of
that previous declines be a call to action for those concern rather than switch
in marijuana, alcohol, of us in prevention here in our focus from what we
and inhalant use have New Jersey. Researchers have done well to something
largely leveled off over are concerned about the new. Our current approach ,
the past several years. apparent “softening” in to use the “hole in the dike”
teens’ attitudes about the analogy, is to use a single
The second significant dangers of marijuana, plug to effectively deal
warning sign for us here because this shift in attitudes with one leak but then pull
in New Jersey is the fact has always preceded an that plug out of that hole
that ten of the fifteen states increase in use. This year’s as soon as another appears.
with the highest percentage survey reports that only What we need instead is a
of teens admitting to about 45 percent of eighth larger supply of plugs, so
smoking marijuana in the graders say they now see that we don’t solve a new
last 30 days (used as an marijuana smoking as problem while allowing
indicator of current, not potentially harmful, down an old one to come back.
just experimental, use) have from 58 percent in the
lived in states with medical early 1990s. Researchers
marijuana programs. On reported a similar erosion in Monitoring the Future is an
Monday January 11, 2010, attitudes about the dangers ongoing study of the behaviors,
New Jersey became the of drinking among teens; attitudes, and values of
fourteenth state to send a still the most common drug American secondary school
bill to the governor’s desk used by U.S. adolescents. students, college students, and
to legalize marijuana for young adults. Each year, a
medicinal purposes. Among the encouraging total of approximately 50,000
results: cigarette smoking 8th, 10th and 12th grade
The problem is that those among eighth and 12th students are surveyed by the
states that permit the selling graders was at its lowest University of Michigan.
3
Staff Students with Parents Who Set and
Steven G. Liga, Enforce Clear Rules Less Likely to Report
MSW, LSW, LCADC, CPS, CCS Illicit Drug Use
CEO & Executive Director
Alexandra Lopez,
MA, LCADC, SAC, CPS, DRCC Youths whose parents set clear rules for them are
Deputy Director less likely to report using illicit drugs, according to
Ezra Helfand, BA
Public Information Specialist
data from the 2008-09 PRIDE Survey. Middle and
Jacqueline Jackson, MBA high school students whose parents set clear rules
Financial Manager for them “a lot” or “often” were less likely to report
East Brunswick Office using illicit drugs in the past year (12% and 21%,
Lissette M. Bacharde
respectively) than students whose parents never
Administrative Assistant set clear rules (49%). Similar results were found
Al-Karim Campbell, BA for having parents who punish them for breaking
Preventionist I
these rules. Previous studies have found that
Luis Carrero, BSW youths living in households where parents kept
Preventionist I
track of their whereabouts and set curfews were
Padma Sonti Desai, MA
Preventionist I less likely to report heavy drinking.
Dara Jarosz, MA, SAC
Clinician I The 2009 Pride Survey National Summary is based
Christina Rak-Samson, BA on the responses of 122,243 students selected from
Preventionist I 447,532 students from 25 states who completed
Linda Surks, BS, CPS the Pride Survey for Grades 6 to 12 during the
Preventionist II
school year from August 2008 to June 2009. These
Laura Tittel, BA
Preventionist I
students, while not drawn through a formal
probability sampling process, do represent a
Jason Victor, BA, CPS
Preventionist II broad cross-section of American youth. Results
Heather Ward, MSW, LSW
from previous years’ national summaries have
Preventionist I tracked closely with nationwide surveys such as
Monitoring the Future.
Carteret Office
SOURCE: Adapted by CESAR from PRIDE, Questionnaire Report for Grades 6 to
Lauren Balkan, MSW, LCSW 12, 2008-09 National Summary – Grades 6 thru 12, 2009.
Supervisor
Christine Hughes, MSW, LSW
Preventionist I
The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug
Anna Kirzner MSW, LSW
Clinician II Dependence (NCADD) of Middlesex County, Inc. is a
Lindsay Rich, MSW, LSW private, non-profit, community-based health organization
Clinician II providing prevention, education, information and referral
Dana Tosk services to county residents, businesses, schools, faith-
Administrative Assistant
based organizations, municipal alliances, and social service
Board of Trustees agencies since 1980.
President Vice President
Katherine Fallon NCADD of Middlesex County, Inc.
Susan Neshin, M.D
Treasurer 152 Tices Lane
Secretary
Bill DeJianne Sandra Martin
East Brunswick, NJ 08816
732-254-3344
Past President www.ncadd-middlesex.org
Brian T. Rose
Members
Sharon Campbell
Rakesh Ganta
Steven Polinsky
George Rusuloj
Marjorie Talbot
