The Dimensions of Fear
‘AINTALARM HELLS he ton a lometeravay followed by the sound
fees hdngon the cobblestones ofthe square—surely just listening
tothe wel guo could tell hey were chariots, carriages, perhaps even
fumbris with t-yed women standing straight in them, doomed women
nmindfl oftheir allen down their backs in disarray, their necks and
hin si with hater... Upin this tavern the hills, removed from the
town the tenon sls absorbed ll he sounds of everyday, sounds
hich ner dramatized bat ao muted and mae sleepy by distance.
Numerino Au was steed on the cot, listening he lay on his
side soa face ay rom the al In th narrow sunless room he looked
all of his ityour years, probably because his face was tightened in quit
but inensehough—and he eforto think was to intense for the fantastic
eas he was groping for.
Me ofen rid to think ofthis isolated towerike room as an ancient
lookout for marauding Mor pirates. Iwas botess imagining at fist; now
fewas east conjure up the roar ofthe sur the dash ofthe breakers on the
imcieeneel rai in. The sea waves, the bells, the cobbled
uae, the chariots, the implication of violence stopping short of the
pe “A ena Were quaint and remote, especially at one
ree innnltfeanin agonal igh eho! deep a he ils
ea ry sae him where eli aed
no ove Nino ay Ivey mind, Ajo
veda fates Mf Esteban, was good to let him use the room.
Sv} needed itor his short res and sometimes, even a nap, after the
cy
funch which he took in a greasy eating place across the street from the
school. MF. Esteban had seen Agujo after his meal one noon exchanging
imanitis with the frowsy woman who ran the place. They were seated onthe
bench outside; les buzzed in the airand licked the surface ofthe two casually
wiped tables inside. The Mies might have got at the food if these were not set
‘ut on screened shelves; as it was, the wire screen was dotted blackly with
them. Mr. Esteban had stopped and talked with Aguo, andthe woman had.
joined in even when the red-faced head teacher ignored her and pointedly
Stared atthe way she wiped her mouth onthe dirt edge of her pafadyong.
Apparently, the whole scene distressed Mr. Esteban because forthwith he
fered this isolated storeroom above the old library. Agujo's resting room
hhada lower level where the oor space was crowded with yellow and sicily
{damp bundles of periodicals. Above it his room was high and narrow and
faced away from the school building. The single cot looked out upon the
flat and uncompromising barrenness of hill wal. Agujo, however was not
at all discomyited by his surroundings.
‘es, it vas true that he meant the surf and the breakers for some kind
‘of challenge. But a challenge against what, he could not tll for he knew
‘only the anxiety, the restless fears at times so sharp he wondered how they
could be so devoid of any focus or definition. twas maddening the way the
fears had come upon him the past three or four years, so insidious and
threatening, o intangible, and withal so keen sometimes, it seemed t0 him
Jie had alvaysdtad them. Against such threats the only counter he knew was
the private world witere violence lurked, always potential and vigilant, but
alvays short of fulfillment,
The bells faded with the ease of practice, the hurrying wheels ceased.
abruply Bells. It was strange that he should hear them these days when the
School bel had been cracked fora week and the new one had not yet come.
-Aguj rose from the cot, His oilet consisted of ubbing the oily shine of
face with a handkerchief and running his fingers down his scalp where the
hhalrs lay like limp strings, He clumped his stodgy way down the
tai othe lower landing, From there a connecting all led to the storeroom,
‘The hall was close and dank, and walking through it left him somewhat
breathless. 3
A he passe by the closed! door of the storeroom he heard a
behind him and he turned sharply around. tn the dimness of theou inet avay abr ose spindly
mutt ey rrr neg of Nose esd and
apenas serie
on wang im er the mat of
See Met he ears, Aj shut is ees, an
kona ets a st through i. Ws
He wasted the sus ae
eetensr pes his mid Breaking down a ast? in
ths what he had Ben ering? i atieareray sve. cuit
a himself his ees fe open: He mas ‘
Re ed cautiously perin through the hi
SE hel hy odor Noated around
all une reached the spol. A mushy
Me red, Agjo hurried tothe window
Fim as nme Sl nt ease gj Mure he window
athe fr endothe hall and ng up ae shuter. right sunshine
thon him she trust his hed to ook out onthe schoo! grounds, and he
(ied eck nal recns ra gg ha esque shape; but
its nowhere around. Fear llched him again, his time an animal kind
fear, unreaoning and overpovering He slammed down the shuter and
fed ou of the hal down the short steps tothe outer door ofthe builing,
where he tod greed and shaken fo the bones,
The school rounds were absolutely Geseried. By his watch it was only
sineen minutes past one He lta maging impulse to home, to take the
bus to his home in the next own, bu it was thirty-eight Kilometers aay
andy the time e got backto the school is fs fernoon clas would be
well oer: Besides, why go home a ths time, nthe ist place? He stood at
‘he door, quit and purpseless, a seedy ard soaking up sunshine
by dees the rational worl of wood-and-cement buildings, of vne-
smothered relies and huge ley trees, ofagpole and Mutring flag, and
«lean dry ground broken by patches of seraggy awn —these came into foe
and wrenched him ito a kindof sweaty calm. He wandered hal distracted
through the lanes bordered by acts, along the hedges like a dog in pain
He scarcely knew when he gravitated toward the hill and loitered about on
the loner slope Final he climbed up and up the incline for sometime,
pnt fe thought he heard the pecllar hum ofthe buzzer below. The office
2) worked the bux, hich mated he schol hous in the absence ofa
‘guj tured into his lssoom door he was har
f wondering faces. He gf lyaware ofthe rows
of wondering aces He i not realize be presened a curious sight—burts
fn his trouser legs, a dead acacia efi his har, and persprig profusely
Halfway through the class session, when he was talking about the Buddhist
temples of Thailand und the mosques of Malay, he suddenly remembered
how a scant hour before, he had found himself looking down a decivity
erspread with all kinds of second growth. The unexpected sight of the
small chasm below him was string, AL once the mosques and temples