P L A Y S F O R Y O U N G A U D I E N C ES

A partnership of Seattle Children’s Theatre and Children’s Theatre Company-Minneapolis

2400 Third Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55404
612-872-5108
Fax 612-874-8119

Time Again in Oz

Story by
L. Frank Baum

Adaptation by
Suzan L. Zeder

Music by
Richard Grey

Time Again in Oz was first presented by Seattle Children’s Theatre for the 1999-2000 season.
All Rights Reserved.

I
 CHARACTERS

Mysterious Man: Tic Toc - (A mysterious male of many times)

Grand Dame: Langwidere - (An aging beauty)
Tycoon: Roquat the Gnome King – ( Big business at its worst)
Dorothy: (Now, a teenager)
Uncle Henry: (An elderly adventurer confined to a wheelchair)
Bill, the Chicken: (Brass and bravado in a fowl form)
Nanda: (A harried housemaid)
Ozma: (An old soul in the body of a very young child)
Feldspar: (A mineral of many uses), Wheeler, Head
Captain: Wheeler, Head, General
Sailor 1:Wheeler, Head, Major
Sailor 2: Wheeler, Head, Army

SETTINGS
Act One:
On the Deck
On the Raft
The Beach of Oz
The Domain of the Wheelers
Tic Toc’s Cave
The Desert of Shifting Sand
Langwidere’s Palace
In the Prison

Act Two
At Dawn
On the Road
The Grove of the Mangaboos
The Gnome King’s Cavern: Throne room/treasure chamber underground
On the Surface
Shipboard: On the deck

TIME

Shipboard: Early 1900’s

Oz: The beginning and the end of time
 II
Time Again in Oz

SCORE
ACT ONE

1. PROLOGUE...................................Mysterious Man, Grand Dame, Tycoon, Dorothy

2. TAKING TIME (Part One)............................................................................... ALL

3. TAKING TIME (Part Two) ............................................................................... ALL

3a. Into the Cabins

4. THE STORM

5. BACK IN OZ.......................................................................................... Dorothy , Bill

5a. BACK IN OZ (Reprise) .................................................................... Uncle Henry

6. THE WHEELERS (Part One).......................................The Wheelers, Uncle Henry

7. THE WHEELERS (Part Two)............The Wheelers, Uncle Henry, Dorothy, Bill

7a. The Key

8. TIC TOC’S STORY ............................................................................................. TIC TOC

9. Shifting Sands

10. BEATUTIFUL ME! ........................................................ Langwidere, Nanda, Heads

10a. The Key II

10b. Into Prison

11. WHEN DID I GET OLD? ..........................................................................Uncle Henry

11a. Time has started

12. Tic Toc’s capture

 III
Time Again in Oz

SCORE
ACT TWO

13. OZMA’S ENTRANCE.......................................................................................... ALL

13a. Ozma’s dialogue

14. OUR NATIONAL HERO................................Nanda, General, Major, Army, Ozma

14a. OUR NATIONAL HERO (Dance)

15. HYMN TO DOROTHY...................................Ozma, Nanda, General, Major, Army

16. FORWARD...........................General. Major, Army, Ozma, Dorothy, Uncle Henry

17. MANGABOOS

18. BEGINNINGS.............................................................................................. Dorothy

18a. Into the Cavern

19. MINE........................................................................Roquat, Feldspar, Rock People

20. THE GUESSING GAME .............................................................. Dorothy, Bill, Ozma

21. THE BATTLE

22. LOOKING FORWARD .................................………………….Dorothy, Uncle Henry

23. FINALE
 1

Time Again in Oz

ACT ONE

PROLOGUE
(Lights up on a MYSTERIOUS MAN.)

MAN
(Sings)
SECONDS... SEASONS... CENTURIES AND SUCH
MINUTES ... MONTHS... MILLENIUMS
AND MUCH, MUCH MORE.
(Lights up on DOROTHY. MAN hands her a small
stone.)
PIECES OF MOMENTS
MOMENTS PIECED TOGETHER
THIS INSTANT
AND FUTURES TO EXPLORE
AND ALL THAT WAS BEFORE
IS TIME
(Light’s up on TYCOON. MAN hands him a coin.)
TIME IS WASTED
AND SPENT
IT DOESN’T COST A CENT
AND STILL WE BUY IT.
(Lights up on GRAND DAME. MAN hands her a
compactl.)

IT TAKES SO LONG
IT GOES SO FAST
AND THEN WHEN TIME HAS PASSED
WE CRY “DEFY IT”.

BUT TIME IS CHANGE

TIME IS CRUEL
TIME IS STRANGE
TIME’S THE RULE
AND TIME’S A THING NO HUMAN CAN DENY
JUST TRY
(MAN blows a ship’s whistle and hands it to the
CAPTAIN as he enters.)

CAPTAIN
All hands on deck!
(Sailors enter as elements of the ship fly in and the deck builds
around the scene. GRAND DAME and TYCOON cross the stage
and nod to each other. DOROTHY plays hopscotch.)
 2
TAKING TIME (ON THE DECK)
CAPTAIN
Promenade deck?
SAILOR 1
Swabbed, Captain! Fore and aft!
CAPTAIN
Ropes and rails?
SAILOR 2
Coiled and shined!
CAPTAIN
Portholes polished?
SAILOR 1
Port and starboard!
CAPTAIN
Shuffle board?
SAILOR 2
Shuffled!
CAPTAIN
Deck chairs?
BOTH SAILORS
SET!
(SAILORS set two deck chairs)

SAILORS
YES, EVERYTHING IS SHIP SHAPE THIS MORNING
THE OCEAN AIR SEEMS QUIET AND WARM

CAPTAIN
AH, BUT STILLNESS IS JUST THE OCEAN’S WARNING
WE’LL SOON ENCOUNTER QUITE A STORM.

DOROTHY
Storm?

CAPTAIN
Don’t be frightened, little girl.

DOROTHY
I am NOT a little girl! I am Dorothy Gale of Kansas!

(GRAND DAME begins a promenade across the stage

with a small dog in tow, when she passes the MAN, he
drops a parasol behind her. DOROTHY picks up the
parasol and sashays behind the GRAND DAME,
copying her elegant walk. THE GRAND DAME sweeps
around and sees her. )
 3

DOROTHY
(Covering)
Excuse me, Ma’m. You dropped this.

GRAND DAME
Thank you, Little Girl.
DOROTHY
I am not a Little Girl. I’m twelve years old and more than unusually tall for my age.

GRAND DAME
It’s a bit too breezy for our promenade this morning.
(Sung)
THERE’S THE SUN
(She gestures)
Parasol!
(DOROTHY pops open the parasol and hands it to her.)
Every line tells a naughty tale, N’est pas?

DOROTHY
My “American Girl’s Handy Book” says you can make a swell face cream out of bees wax.
(DOROTHY shows her the book. The GRAND DAME
laughs)

GRAND DAME
In Australia, Little Girl,

THERE’S A MIRACLE MUD THAT

MAKES SKIN LOOK YOUNG AGAIN

DOROTHY
Mud?
GRAND DAME
Tempus fugit, my Dear
GRAND DAME
(Sings)
TAKING TIME
TAKING TIME TO KEEP FROM LOOKING OLDER
MAKING TIME
FOR WAYS TO TURN BACK THE CLOCK
I’VE BEEN FIGHTING BACK THE YEARS AND
IT’S A DOWNHILL CLIMB
I’LL FIND SOME WAY TO STOP THEM
IN TIME.
DOROTHY
Can I play with your dog?
GRAND DAME
Oh, no. He is very old and cranky and he bites. Come along, Maurice.
 4

(At the opposite corner of the stage, the TYCOON starts across the
deck. The MAN dangles a large gem encrusted pocket watch, the
TYCOON takes it and checks the time.)

DOROTHY
Jeepers, Mister, is that a diamond on your pocket watch?

TYCOON
Why yes.
DOROTHY
Is it real?
TYCOON
It better be, it’s from my mine.
DOROTHY
Yours?
TYCOON
Half the diamond mines in Australia are mine and I’m on my way to snap up the rest.
(Sings)
GETTING ALL THAT I CAN
I’M HAVING FUN AGAIN.

DOROTHY
If you already have so much, why do you need more?

TYCOON
It’s not a matter of need, Little Girl.
(Sings)
TAKING TIME
TAKING TIME TO MONOPOLIZE INVESTMENTS
MAKING TIME TO MAKE SOME COLD HARD CASH
I’LL TAKE OVER DOWN UNDER

DOROTHY
THAT SOUNDS LIKE CRIME,

TYCOON
I’LL FIND SOME WAY TO HIDE IT
IN TIME.

DOROTHY
Could I look at your watch?

TYCOON
Of course not. This is not a toy; it’s very valuable. Here’s a nick… a penny; run along and play.
(TYCOON starts to hand her a nickel and changes his
mind before he moves on.)
 5
DOROTHY
(Sings)
I’M STUCK HERE ON THE SEA DAY AFTER DAY WITH
THE MOST OBNOXIOUS PEOPLE EVER SEEN
THERE’S NO ONE HERE TO TALK TO OR TO PLAY WITH
EVERYONE IS STINGY, OLD OR MEAN
IF I STAYED AT HOME, IMAGINE WHAT I COULD’VE DONE

MAN
COULD HAVE DONE WHAT?
DOROTHY
AND WOULD’VE DONE
MAN
WOULD HAVE DONE WHAT?
DOROTHY
AND SHOULD’VE DONE
IF ONLY …
MAN
IF ONLY WHAT?
DOROTHY
IF I COULD JUST GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS BEFORE.

TYCOON
PERHAPS I’LL PURCHASE ALL (OF AUSTRALIA)

CAPTAIN
CAN I STEER US PAST THE SQUALL (TO AUSTRALIA)

GRAND DAME
WILL I FINALLY FIND MY YOUTH (IN AUSTRALIA)

SAILORS
DID THE CAPTAIN TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT THE STORM?

DOROTHY
And there’s a storm coming!

ALL EXCEPT DOROTHY

TAKING TIME
TAKING TIME FOR DAYS FILLED WITH ADVENTURE
MAKING TIME FOR WHAT’S IMPORTANT IN LIFE

DOROTHY
WHY CAN’T THEY UNDERSTAND THAT...

ALL
I’M IN MY PRIME
I’LL FIND ALL THAT I AM AFTER...
IN TIME.

(SONG ENDS)
 6
( UNCLE HENRY enters in a wheelchair. Across his lap is a small
cage with a chicken in it. MAN places a small book in his hands.)

UNCLE HENRY
“The first settlers of Australia were convicts...”
(MAN dangles one end of a tin can contraption in front of
DOROTHY.)
“The men with watches, measuring rods and muskets had arrived.”
(She takes it and begins working on it.)
“ The Great continent Terra Incognita Australius had been discovered!” Dorothy, are you listening to me?

DOROTHY
Please, Uncle Henry. I’m busy!
(DOROTHY shows him the contraption.)
UNCLE HENRY
But this is the good part. It’s about convicts! What’s that contraption?

( UNCLE HENRY lifts himself out of the wheelchair and

inches to a deck chair.)

DOROTHY
I made it out of the American Girl’s Handy Book. We can string these cans between our bunks at night
and you can call me if you need anything.
(UNCLE HENRY stumbles slighty.)

DOROTHY
Let me help you.
(DOROTHY helps him into the chair.)

HENRY
I can manage. There’s nothin’ like adventure on the High Seas, is there, Dorothy?

DOROTHY
We have been on this boat for three weeks with nothing but flat, boring ocean.

UNCLE HENRY
Canes.
DOROTHY
And we’re going so slow that I’ll be old before we get there!

UNCLE HENRY
Blanket.
DOROTHY
If this is your idea of adventure, it certainly isn’t mine!

UNCLE HENRY
Chicken!
 7
(She hands him the chicken.)

DOROTHY
Why couldn’t we have just taken her to the State Fair in Kansas City?

UNCLE HENRY
What kind of adventure is that?

DOROTHY
My kind!

(CAPTAIN enters.)

CAPTAIN
Attention! All passengers will return to their staterooms’ immediately! Squall line off the starboard
bow!

UNCLE HENRY
Hot dang!
CAPTAIN
All livestock is to be stowed below as cargo.

UNCLE HENRY
Cargo? This here chick-a-biddy’s on her way to the International Confabulation of Breeders, Brooders and
Bantams in Sydney Australia. This chicken’s a passenger!

CAPTAIN
If it clucks, it’s cargo!
(CAPTAIN exits.)

DOROTHY
I can’t believe that we are going all the way to Australia just for some dumb chicken.
(GRAND DAME crosses and exits)

GRAND DAME
Out of the way, Little Girl, the wind is spoiling my coiffure!

SAILOR 1
Storm’s comin’ in fast, Little Girl. You and your grandfather had better get to your cabin.

DOROTHY
He is not my grandfather and I am NOT a little girl!
(DOROTHY turns and drops the penny just as the
TYCOON crosses.)

TYCOON
Remember, my dear, time is money!
(He picks up the penny and exits.)
 8

DOROTHY
Hey!
(UNCLE HENRY struggles to get to his feet.)

UNCLE HENRY
I hope it’s a regular typhoon!
DOROTHY
(To SAILOR)
Are we in danger? Could we tump over?

UNCLE HENRY
Capsize, Dorothy, they say, capsize!

SAILOR 2
You are perfectly safe as long as you stay in your cabin!

(The ship lurches and UNCLE HENRY’S legs buckle.)

UNCLE HENRY
Whoa....
DOROTHY
Uncle Henry!
UNCLE HENRY
I can manage.
(DOROTHY and the SAILOR 1 rush to help him and
upset his balance.)

SAILOR 1
Careful, Sir.

UNCLE HENRY
I SAID, I CAN MANAGE!
(He lurches into his chair.)

(SAILOR1 exits. SAILOR 2 crosses as wind increases

and lightening flashes.)

CAPTAIN
All passengers, below deck!

UNCLE HENRY
If I could walk, I’d be out there with those sailors.

DOROTHY
(Overlapping)
Where are the life jackets?
UNCLE HENRY
(Overlapping)
Winds lashing at my face...
 9
DOROTHY
(Overlapping)
You DO have life jackets, don’t you?
CAPTAIN
They are in your cabin!

UNCLE HENRY
Take the chicken below, Dorothy. I want to stay up here and watch!

DOROTHY
NO! You could be killed!

UNCLE HENRY
What’s the matter with you? Where’s your sense of adventure?
(Sailor 1 crosses)

SAILOR 1
Waterspout off the starboard side!

UNCLE HENRY
Hot Dang! I am going to go see!

DOROTHY
You’re just a crazy old man, crazy as a coot! You old grump, you old grouch.

UNCLE HENRY
Before I die I just want one adventure.

DOROTHY
So go ahead blow off the boat, see if I care! Go ahead and die.

UNCLE HENRY
Dorothy!

(Even UNCLE HENRY is horrified by this remark, he turns away

abruptly.)

(DOROTHY starts toward him but the MAN steps in her way and
pulls a large key from his waistcoat. It glows and shimmers with a
strange light.)

DOROTHY
A key?
 10

(He gestures with the key. DOROTHY reaches for it. As soon as she
grabs one end of the key, the MAN spins her in a circle The sound of
the waterspout is heard.)
Oh NO!
(UNCLE HENRY enters. The MAN grabs the back of his wheel chair.
UNCLE HENRY reaches for DOROTHY as she grabs the chicken
coop and spins out of reach and off stage
UNCLE HENRY!!!!!!!
(UNCLE HENRY spins off in the opposite direction)

UNCLE HENRY
DOROTHY!!!!!
(GRAND DAME enters. The MAN snatches her hat and as she
reaches for it, she starts spinning off stage .)

GRAND DAME
My hat.... My Haaaaaiiiirrrrr.
(The TYCOON enters. The MAN whisks the watch away and holds it
in front of him as he twirls off stage.)

TYCOON
My precious jeweeellllsss!

(The SAILORS, twirl across stage. taking the final pieces of the boat
with them.)

SAILORS
Abandon Shiiiiiiiiip!!!!!

(THE MAN laughs and spins in a circle, his cloak billowing out to
create the waterspout.)

BLACKOUT.
 11
ON THE RAFT
(It is morning. Dorothy lies sleeping on a large raft that
bears some resemblance to the chicken coop. Also on the
raft is BILL a person sized-chicken. )

BILL
Kut-kut-kut- Ka Daw Kut!
(DOROTHY wakes and does not see BILL behind her.)

DOROTHY
Where am I? The boat! Where’s the boat? Uncle Henry! UNCLE HENRY!!!!!!

BILL
What do you know, it’s morning!
(DOROTHY turns and sees BILL.)

DOROTHY
What in the world?

BILL
Bill’s the name; chicken’s the game.

DOROTHY
You’re a chicken?
BILL
You were expecting an armadillo?

DOROTHY
But you’re so big. You’re human-sized.

BILL
How do you know you’re not chicken-sized?

DOROTHY
And you speak English.

BILL
How do you know you’re not speaking chicken? Just call me Bill.

DOROTHY
A hen named Bill?
BILL
What can I say, I was named when I was an egg.

DOROTHY
Very well, Bill. My name is Dorothy , Dorothy Gale...

BILL
Well of course. I’ve known you since I was a yoke..
 12
DOROTHY
You’re Uncle Henry’s chicken?

BILL
Grand Champion three times in a row! AKA some dumb chicken! I’ve been watching you, Missy, you
haven’t exactly been a little ray of sunshine on this trip.

DOROTHY
You were on the deck ? You saw what happened?

BILL
Waterspout sucked up everything!

DOROTHY
Uncle Henry?

BILL
Sucked him right up.

DOROTHY
He can’t be dead; he just can’t be...

BILL
The old grump, the old grouch, the old....

DOROTHY
Don’t call him those things.

BILL
Why not? You did!

DOROTHY
This can’t be happening, not again!

BILL
Again?

DOROTHY
When I was a little girl, I was sucked up in a tornado.

BILL
If I were you, I’d stay out of the wind!

DOROTHY
I promised myself if I ever got back to Kansas, I’d never leave home again!

BILL
Uh Oh! Look out! Here it comes! Olley olley outs en free! 5,4,3,2,1...Hit the deck. Uhhhh!

DOROTHY
What are you doing?
 13
BILL
Laying an egg.
(BILL lays an egg.)

DOROTHY
Do you have to make such a fuss about it?

BILL
Have you ever laid an egg?
DOROTHY
No.
BILL
Then don’t knock it.

DOROTHY
We have got to find land soon. We’ll starve to death out here.

BILL
Here, you can have my egg.

DOROTHY
Don’t you want it?

BILL
Oh, no I just lay ‘em and leave ‘em. I wish you hadn’t mentioned food. I’m feeling kind of peckish
myself.

DOROTHY
You can have your egg back.

BILL
What do you take me for, a cannibal? Uh Oh! Uh Oh! Look out! Here it comes!

DOROTHY
Don’t tell me you’re going to lay another egg.

BILL
Oh No! Land HO!
DOROTHY
Where?
BILL
There!
(DOROTHY and BILL are thrown forward as the raft
lands on the Beach of OZ. Lights change.)
 14
ON THE BEACH

(The raft pulls away. Five brightly colored suns hover at

the horizon. As DOROTHY and BILL explore, the
landscape of OZ surrounds them.)

DOROTHY
Where are we?
BILL
I don’t think we’re in Kansas, anymore.

BACK IN OZ
DOROTHY
Oh my.
(Sings)
THE SKY IS SO BLUE HERE
SMELL THE AIR
THERE’S A HINT
OH, WAIT, IS IT MINT?
NO, NOTHING COMPARES
(Another element of Oz flies in.)
THIS IS DIFFERENT
THIS IS NEW
NOT LIKE NEW FROM THE STORE
BUT A NEW I’VE NOT SEEN BEFORE

WAIT!
OR HAVE I?
(Spoken)
There’s something awfully familiar about this place.

(BILL spies a worm on the ground.)

BILL
A worm, Hot Diggity, a worm. There goes a fat wriggley one.

DOROTHY
Are you even listening to me?
(BILL turns away from her.)
(Sings)
I DON’T NEED AN ADVENTURE
CAN’T THIS ALL GO AWAY
IF THIS IS JUST A GAME, THEN I DON’T WANT TO PLAY
THIS ISN’T WHAT I HOPED FOR WHEN I WOKE UP TODAY
IT WOULD BE AGAINST ALL NATURAL LAWS
(Spoken)
It can’t be
I COULDN’T BE BACK IN OZ.
(Spoken)
No!
 15
DOROTHY BILL
IF THIS IS OZ, THEN WHERE ARE THE MUNCHKINS?

THERE’D BE FUNNY FRUIT ON THE TREES

LOOK, AT THE TREES!
WITCHES HIGH IN THE SKY
AND FLYING CHIMPANZEES

BILL
(Spoken)
Look at these!
THERE’S LEMON FLAVORED LADY BUGS
AND BIG JUICY FLEAS
SOMETHING SWEET JUST CRAWLED UP MY SCHNOZ

DOROTHY
(Spoken)
Oh, no...
TALKING ANIMALS, JUST LIKE OZ
Not again.
DOROTHY BILL
I’M NOT THE GIRL I WAS BEFORE THAT TORNADO
(To a worm)
COME TO MAMA.
I’M NOT EVEN THE GIRL I WAS WHEN I CAME HOME.
COME ON HOME!
(GULP)
MY UNCLE ASKS, “WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU?”
“WHERE’S YOUR SENSE OF ADVENTURE?”
WHY COULDN’T THEY JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?
(Spoken)
No such luck!
IN OZ THINGS ARE UNCERTAIN
TERMITE TETRAZINI
NOTHING AT ALL WHAT IS SEEMS
HOT BUTTERED BUGS
NOT A PLACE FOR NORMAL GIRLS
WITH SIMPLE DREAMS
COOTIES N’ CREAM
I’M SO GLAD WE LANDED
IF I THINK HARD ENOUGH
WHAT A PLACE TO BE STRANDED
IF I SWIM FAR ENOUGH
DOROTHY, YOU’RE GRASPING AT
STRAWS
You’re right
FACE IT SWEETIE
I’M BACK IN OZ YOU’RE BACK IN OZ
(URP!)
Excuse me.
(MUSIC ENDS)
 16
(DOROTHY sees the Contraption which has been
washed up on the beach.)
DOROTHY
Bill! Look at this, do you know what this is?

BILL
Pork and Beans?

DOROTHY
NO! It’s my contraption. I made it for Uncle Henry! If we washed up here, maybe he did too!

BILL
Well there are tire tracks all over the sand.

DOROTHY
He’s an old man and ever since he got sick last year, he can’t do anything for himself!
BILL
(Overlapping)
Maybe they’re from his thingama-bob.
DOROTHY
(Overlapping)
I have to do everything for him. He’s practically helpless !
BILL
You don’t listen too well, do you?
(BILL points down.)

DOROTHY
Tire Tracks! From a wheelchair?

BILL
How should I know? I’m just a chicken.

DOROTHY
Uncle Henry! Uncle Henry!
(They exit following the tracks.)

(UNCLE HENRY enters from a different place on the

BEACH. He is rowing, using his canes as oars..)

UNCLE HENRY
Stroke, stroke, stroke....
(As he lands, a large tree enters the space; the limbs are
filled with brightly colored lunch boxes.)
Land HO! I made it!
(He looks around and shouts.)
 17
UNCLE HENRY
Hello! Is anybody here? Uninhabited! Terra Incognita! What would Captain Cook do at a time like this?
I know!
(He wheels center-stage and raises his cane.)
I, Henry S. Gale, claim this entire unknown territory in the name of Kansas and the United States of
America.
(DOROTHY and runs to hug him.)

DOROTHY
Uncle Henry!
UNCLE HENRY
(Astonished)
Dorothy! What in the world!

DOROTHY
Uncle Henry, where have you been? Are you all right?

UNCLE HENRY
Of course I’m all right! Are you?

DOROTHY
But how did you...
UNCLE HENRY
I rowed!
DOROTHY
(Rubbing his arms)
Here, let me warm you. You must be chilled to the bone.

DOROTHY
What time is it?
(UNCLE HENRY pulls out his pocket watch)

UNCLE HENRY
My watch has stopped, but it’s still ticking.

DOROTHY
Do you think it’s four o’clock yet?

UNCLE HENRY
From the position of the sun…. errr…. Suns, I’d say it is either twilight or dawn.

DOROTHY
But you are supposed to have your iron tonic at 4:00. Three times a day at 10:00, 2:00 and 4:00.

UNCLE HENRY
Oh, Dorothy.
 18
DOROTHY
The doctor said three times a day.
(DOROTHY fetches a small blue bottle and a spoon
from the pocket of her pinafore.)

DOROTHY
I just hope the salt water hasn’t ruined it.

UNCLE HENRY
Dorothy, I don’t want to, it tastes terrible and I…

(BILL enters)

BILL
“Hail, Hail, the gang’s all here… What the heck do we care…. What the…
(UNCLE HENRY opens his mouth in astonishment and
DOROTHY pops the spoonful of medicine in .)

UNCLE HENRY
What in blue blazes...?
BILL
Dad!
DOROTHY
Oh, that’s Bill.
UNCLE HENRY
Bill?
DOROTHY
Your chicken.
BILL
In the flesh and feathers!
UNCLE HENRY
But, you’re so ...big!
BILL
I am very sensitive about my height.
UNCLE HENRY
This is a very strange place.
DOROTHY
You’ve had a very hard day, Uncle Henry… Don’t you think you should have a little rest?

UNCLE HENRY
(Not listening)
Look at this tree!
BILL
(To Dorothy)
Hey, Toots, what’s that sign say. Chicken’s can’t read ya know.

DOROTHY
(To Bill)
It says “Beware of Wheelers.”
(To Uncle Henry)
I’m sure it is long past 3:00 and you know you are supposed to have a nap at 3:00.
 19
UNCLE HENRY
It’s blooming with lunch pails!

BILL
What’s a Wheeler?
(DORORTHY pulls a list out of her pinafore.)

DOROTHY
Lunch is at 12:00, exercise at 1:00, reading at 2:00 and ….

BILL
What’s a Wheeler?

UNCLE HENRY
Dorothy, we have blown away in a typhoon and have washed up here with a giant talking chicken. Don’t
you think that might call for a little flexibility in the schedule?

DOROTHY
I promised Aunt Em I’d take care of you!

BILL
I wonder if Wheelers eat chickens or just run over them.

UNCLE HENRY
Reach me one of those pails, Dorothy.

DOROTHY
I’m not sure that’s a good idea.

UNCLE HENRY
I’m as hungry as a hunter! Get one for yourself, you must be hungry too.

DOROTHY
I’m not hungry.
UNCLE HENRY
Growing girl’s gotta eat. Have a lunch pail!
DOROTHY
I told you, I’m not hungry!
UNCLE HENRY
Well I am!
(DOROTHY reaches up and pulls down a pail. UNCLE
HENRY takes the pail and opens it.)

BILL
Try the sand fleas they’re delicious.

UNCLE HENRY
There’s a ham sandwich growing in here... A piece of sponge cake, a slice of new cheese and a pickle.
Each one has a little stem of it’s own.
 20

(UNCLE HENRY takes a bite and an alarm goes off.)

BILL
Oh, no.no.no.no.

DOROTHY
What’s that?

BILL
WHEELERS, THAT’S WHAT!

DOROTHY
We’ve got to get out of here.

UNCLE HENRY
Hot dang!

DOROTHY
Uncle Henry, you hide behind this tree and we’ll hide over there. We’ll use my contraption to let you
know when it’s safe to come out.

UNCLE HENRY
But...

DOROTHY
Do as I say, just once! Please!

UNCLE HENRY
But I just...

DOROTHY
Don’t come out until I tell you!

BILL
Hurry, Dorothy!
(BILL and DOROTHY exit. UNCLE HENRY munches
on his lunch behind the tree. He holds the “phone” to
his ear.)
 21
THE WHEELERS
(THE WHEELERS enter. They are strange looking
creatures on roller skates. They sweep in fiercely and
wheel in a circle making weird wheeler sounds.)

ALL WHEELERS
HA!
WE’RE THE WHEELERS. WE’VE COME TO ATTACK
HA!
WE’RE NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING
IF THERE IS SOMETHING TO DESTROY, WE’LL DESTROY IT
OR SOMETHING TO ANNOY WE’LL ANNOY IT
A BATTLE? OH, BOY WE’D ENJOY IT IMMENSELY
ON A WHEELER
‘ CUZ A WHEELER’LL FIGHT ANYTHING ON CUE
AND RIGHT NOW ANYTHING WILL DO

WHEELERS
YOU CAN’T HIDE
HA! CUZ THE WHEELERS’LL FIND YA
THEN WE’LL TIE YOU UP
AND PUT YOU THROUGH THE GRINDER
IF YOU TRY TO RUN,
WE’LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YA
CUZ OUR WHEELS ARE FAST
OUR WHEELS ARE MEAN
WHEELER 1
A WHEELER’S QUITE A FIGHTING MACHINE

ALL WHEELERS
WATCH OUT (WATCH OUT)
FOR THE WHEELERS

WHEELER 1
There’s no one here.
WHEELER 3
The Nome King will have our heads.
WHEELER 2
Or our wheels which is worse.
ALL
Not our wheels!
WHEELER 1
If the alarm goes off we attack!
 22
WHEELER 3
But there’s nothing here.
WHEELER 2
Then there’s only one thing we can do.
WHEELER 1&3
What?
WHEELER 2
Attack Nothing!
WHEELERS 1 & 2 & 3
ATTACK NOTHING!
(They race around attacking nothing.)
(UNCLE HENRY charges out.)

UNCLE HENRY
Stand back, you savages!
WHEELERS
(Terrified)
Ahhhhhhhh.
WHEELER 1
Hey!
WHEELER 2
Will you look at that?
WHEELER 3
Look at his spokes!
WHEELER 1
Look at his rims!
WHEELER 3
Could it be...?
ALL WHEELERS
(All gasp!)
Look at his wheels!
UNCLE HENRY
(Nervously)
Stand back or I’ll give you a taste of.... something or other.

ALL WHEELERS
WHEELS LIKE A SILVER CHARIOT.
(UNCLE HENRY pulls out his pickle.)

UNCLE HENRY
Anyone want a pickle?

ALL WHEELERS
NOW HIS SECRET WEAPON APPEARS

WHEELER 1
Oh, please...

WHEELER 2
Don’t hurt us.
 23
ALL WHEELERS
WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE A HUNDRED YEARS.

UNCLE HENRY
Waiting? For me?
WHEELER 2
THOSE WHEELS
WHEELER 3
THOSE GLORIOUS WHEELS
WHEELER 1
WITH THOSE WHEELS WE KNEW YOU HAD TO BE ….

ALL WHEELERS
THE BIG WHEELER!

UNCLE HENRY
Well, I’ll be.

WHEELER 1
OH, Big Wheeler it’s been terrible.

WHEELER 2
Roquat, The Nome King forces us to guard his lunch pails.

WHEELER 2
And if anyone takes so much as a bite...

WHEELER 3
He wrecks our houses with earthquakes.

WHEELER 2
Burns up our field with volcanoes.

WHEELER 1
Clogs up our plumbing with sludge.

ALL WHEELERS
SAVE US, BIG WHEELER! SAVE US!

UNCLE HENRY
As Big Wheeler, your fearless leader, I hereby proclaim a free lunch for every Wheeler.

WHEELERS
hooray!
UNCLE HENRY
Lunch pails for everybody!
 24
WHEELERS UNCLE HENRY
HAIL TO OUR BIG WHEELER HAIL TO ME
OUR HEALER
OUR HERO HAIL TO ME
HE’LL KEEP US ALL ROLLING FREE AND I’M PROUD TO BE WHEELING
AND WHEELING TO ETERNITY AND LEADING YOU FORWARD
HOORAY FOR OUR COMMANDER
TAKE A GANDER AT YOUR COMMANDER AT HAND
OUR HERO HERE ON THE SAND
BIG WHEELER OUR LOYALTY’S REAL I FEEL
SOLID AS STEEL SOLID AS STEEL
WHEEL TO WHEEL WHEEL TO WHEEL

TOGETHER
BIG WHEELER
WHEELERS UNCLE HENRY
HAIL TO YOU... HAIL TO ME...
(Continued under)

(DOROTHY and BILL enter cautiously as UNCLE

HENRY and the WHEELERS toss the lunch pails around
like Frisbees with great abandon.)

DOROTHY
(Into the can)
Uncle Henry can you hear me?
BILL
Oh no! They’re lunching him to death...

DOROTHY
(Into the can)
Can you hear me?
BILL
Im-pailing him!!!
DOROTHY
We have got to save him. When I count to three scream into this can.

BILL
Why?
DOROTHY
I can’t think of what else to do!
BILL
Okay!
(They scream into the tin can. The WHEELERS are
amazed.)
 25
DOROTHY
(Into the can)
I demand that you release my Uncle at once.

WHEELER 1
Oh you do, do you?
WHEELER 2
And who are you?
WHEELER 3
And where are you?
UNCLE HENRY
They have guessed secret.

UNCLE HENRY
They know I’m the...
BIG WHEELER.
ALL WHEELERS
(Angelic chord)
AHHHHHHH!
BILL
(LAUGHING)
You? The Big..
(THE WHEELERS follow the string to where DOROTHY
and BILL are hiding .)

BILL
Uhhhhh Dorothy.
ALL WHEELERS
What’s so funny?
BILL
Nothing.
WHEELER 3
Speaking of wheels...
ALL WHEELERS
Where are yours?
WHEELER 1
Yes, where are your wheels?
DOROTHY
Uncle Henry, do something...
UNCLE HENRY
She has no wheels....uhhhhh
DOROTHY
I have no wheels, but I do have this ...uhhuh....

(She holds up the key.)

 26
DOROTHY
Key!
WHEELERS
To what?
(WHEELERS line up head to head to listen.)

DOROTHY
The key to everything!

WHEELERS
THE KEY TO EVERYTHING!!!
(They all cheer.)

BILL
All Hail the Key to Everything!!

WHEELERS & BILL UNCLE HENRY

HAIL TO OUR BIG WHEELER (Spoken)
OUR HEALER Come on Dorothy
OUR HERO give it a whirl
(Dorothy joins in tentatively)
HE BROUGHT US THE MAGIC KEY (sung)
THE KEY TO WHEELER DESTINY I’M LEADING YOU FORWARD
HOORAY FOR OUR COMMANDER FORWARD
TAKE A GANDER AT AND TAKING A STAND
OUR HERO HERE ON THE SAND
BIG WHEELER OUR LOYALTY’S REAL I FEEL
SOLID AS STEEL SOLID AS STEEL
WHEEL TO WHEEL WHEEL TO WHEEL

all
BIG WHEELER!

WHEELER 1
WONDERFUL
BILL
POWERFUL
WHEELER 2 & 4
STEEL-BELTED
WHEELER 1 & 3
RADICAL!

ALL ( but uncle henry)

BIG WHEELER!

UNCLE HENRY
Now, that’s more like it!
 27
BILL
Nice work, Old Guy!

UNCLE HENRY
What is that key, Dorothy?

DOROTHY
A strange man gave it to me on the boat. It has an inscription and everything.
(She reads)
“The power of this key is stronger than strength
Wider than width and longer than length
The holder of this key has power unshaken
The key may be given, but never taken.
S & T Incorporated. “

(As DOROTHY reads, a bush swivels around. Inside a

hollow is TIC TOC, a mechanical man, a marvel of
gears, gauges and dials. There is a large keyhole in his
back and the initials “S &T. In his hands he holds a
scroll.”)

UNCLE HENRY
What’s that
BILL
It’s a pressure cooker!
WHEELERS 1 & 2
A PRESSURE COOKER?
(They dither about.)

UNCLE HENRY
No it isn’t.
BILL
A deep fryer!
WHEELERS 3 & 4
A DEEP FRYER?
(WHEELERS wheel about in a dither and race off stage
grumbling and whining.)

WHEELERS
Pressure cooker? Deep Fryer? What’s a pressure cooker? I have no idea, but it sounds bad… Deep
Fryer, What’s a … Oh No, Oh No, NO!!!!!!!!
(They exit.)

UNCLE HENRY
Nonsense!
 28
DOROTHY
It says “S & T” on it, just like on the key.

UNCLE HENRY
Grab that scroll there, maybe it will tell us how to start him up.

DOROTHY
I think we should leave well enough alone.

UNCLE HENRY
His power is stronger than strength!

DOROTHY
What if it blows up?

UNCLE HENRY
Don’t you want to see what happens, just for the thrill of it?

BILL
I’m going back to the coop. Drop me a post card and tell me how it all turns out.

UNCLE HENRY
Go on, ya big chicken!
(BILL shoots him a dirty look!)

UNCLE HENRY
It’s the key to everything, Dorothy. You said so yourself! Maybe it can help us get home.

DOROTHY
Home?
UNCLE HENRY
Isn’t that what you want?
(DOROTHY reluctantly hands him the scroll.)

DOROTHY
In the “American Girls Handy Book”, is says when one is starting any kind of machinery, one should
always avert the eyes and stand a healthy distance away.
 29
TIC TOC’S CAVE

UNCLE HENRY
(Reads)
“For thinking, turn the dial on the head.” Go on Dorothy!
(She turns the dial TIC TOC opens his eyes and a loud
ticking is heard.)

BILL
It’s ticking!
UNCLE HENRY
For speaking, flip the switch on the jaw.
(DOROTHY flips the switch.)
TIC TOC
Tic Toc. Tic Toc. TIC TOC.
BILL
It’s talking!
UNCLE HENRY
For walking, push the buttons on the leg.
(DOROTHY pushes buttons and TIC TOC walks out
from the tree.)

BILL
It’s walking!
UNCLE HENRY
For Time Control Activation, use the key and wind Tic Toc in the back.
CAUTION, do not start what you cannot stop.

DOROTHY
Uncle Henry, are you sure?
UNCLE HENRY
Let ‘er rip, Dorothy!

UNCLE HENRY
Turn that dial.

DOROTHY
This one?

(DOROTHY winds TIC TOC in the chest. All are

thrown forward and then back as. The stage darkens and
lightens.)

DOROTHY
OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO!
BILL
Make it stop, make it stop!
UNCLE HENRY
My heart is beating too fast.
TIC TOC
Slow me down! Slow me down! On my chest, turn the dial.
 30
(DOROTHY turns the dial and the world returns to
daylight.)

DOROTHY
Uncle Henry, are you all right?
UNCLE HENRY
I think so.
TIC TOC
It’s a good thing you slowed me down, or years would have passed in seconds.

UNCLE HENRY
Wait a minute...
TIC TOC
1.2.3.4.5.
DOROTHY
Who are you?

TIC TOC’S HISTORY

TIC TOC
I AM TIC TOC
PATENT, DOUBLE-ACTION, SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
TIC TOC
I’M A THOUGHT-CREATING, CALCULATING, TALKING
MECHANICAL MAN
BEFORE I WAS INVENTED, PEOPLE WERE CONTENTED TO LIVE IN
A LAND WHERE THERE WAS NO TIME
THERE WAS ONLY DAY IN OZ...BECAUSE...
THAT’S JUST THE WAY IT WAS

AND IT DIDN’T SEEM STRANGE

STAYING YOUNG IN THE SUN, IT WAS FUN
IN A LAND WHERE THERE WAS NO NIGHT
BUT THEN THERE WAS A CHANGE
TIME BEGAN
WITH A MAN
A MECHANICAL MAN NAMED
TIC TOC, PATENT, DOUBLE-ACTION, SATISFACTION GUARANTEED

PEOPLE STARTED TO AGE. DAY BECAME NIGHT

THERE WAS RAGE AND A FIGHT
WHEN THE FORCES OF NIGHT FOUGHT THE FORCES OF DAY IN A
WAY SO HORRIBLE, DEPLORABLE
OZ WAS A MESS, BUT I DIGRESS
SMITH AND TINKER, MY MENTORS, MY INVENTORS
TINKER AND SMITH
HID ME AWAY, TURNED NIGHT TO DAY
AND LET ME RUN DOWN
RUN DOWN
THEY TOOK THE KEY AND LEFT TOWN
 31
TIC TOC
BUT THEY WERE WISE
TO SURM-IZE
THERE
COULD
BE
NO
TIME
IN
OZ.
(SONG ENDS)
TIC TOC
I am your most obedient servant and I shall serve you until the end of time.

DOROTHY
ME?
TIC TOC
As long as you hold the key. This dial can be set for fast or slow, forward or back...
DOROTHY
This one?
(SHE turns a dial, There is an odd rushing sound, the
sun rises and sets and the stage darkens.)
TIC TOC
Be careful.
BILL
Look at the sun.
DOROTHY
What happened?
TIC TOC
You have made it night.
(The ground rumbles and two large rocks, suddenly
comes to life .)

UNCLE HENRY
Look at the rocks!
BILL
They’re moving!
TIC TOC
NOMES!
(THE ROCK PEOPLE move toward TIC TOC and try to
surround him.)

TIC TOC
Don’t let them get my key! SPEED ME UP. DOROTHY!
 32
( BILL tries to run from them. THE ROCKS follow BILL
and surround her.)

BILL
Hey! No. I’m just a chicken, just a chicken.

TIC TOC
Turn the dial!
(DOROTHY turns the key and the dial and the stage
begins to lighten.)

BILL
I’m just an innocent byyyyyyyyyy

UNCLE HENRY
Not the chicken! Not the chicken!

DOROTHY
They’re gone !

TIC TOC
It is day. Nomes cannot exist in the light.

DOROTHY
I didn’t mean any harm. It just happened!

UNCLE HENRY
Why did they take my chicken?
TIC TOC
Rock people hate living things, they would have gotten all of us had you not made it day.

TIC TOC
It’s me they’re after and you because you have the key!

DOROTHY
Here, take it!

TIC TOC
The key was given to you and it must stay with you. You must never let it fall into the hands of Roquat
the Nome King or he will turn my dial back to a time before time when all the world was nothing but rock
and stone and volcanic ash.
 33
DOROTHY
We never should have started you in the first place!

TIC TOC
Ozma will know what to do with me.

DOROTHY
Who is Ozma?

TIC TOC
She is the good, the powerful, the rightful ruler of Oz. We must get to the Emerald City.

(The ground rumbles.)

DOROTHY
What’s that?
TIC TOC
The Nome King is very angry.

(The ground rumbles. Uncle Henry thwacks the ground

with his cane.)

UNCLE HENRY
Oh, pipe, down!
DOROTHY
Which way do we go?
TIC TOC
Forward across the desert of shifting sand!

UNCLE HENRY
The Big Wheeler says, on to the Desert!
(They set off to the sounds of the earthquake rumble,)
 34
THE DESERT OF SHIFTING SAND
(There is the sound of wind. DOROTHY, UNCLE
HENRY, and TIC TOC march. Lights and sound create
a whirling sandstorm all around them)

UNCLE HENRY
I can’t see anything.
DOROTHY
Neither can I.
TIC TOC
Neither can I.
UNCLE HENRY
Back in Kansas we’ve got sandstorms so bad they’ll take the corn right off the husk and pop it in the air.

DOROTHY
I can’t tell if we’re going forwards or backwards.

UNCLE HENRY
So bad, they’ll blow your britches off and leave you standing in your long johns.

DOROTHY
Up or down, right or left….

UNCLE HENRY
So bad they’ll brush your teeth for you if you smile into the wind.

DOROTHY
Tic Toc is trying to navigate and I am sure it doesn’t help if we keep...bothering him all the time.

UNCLE HENRY
I’m not bothering him, I’m just telling him I know a thing or two about sandstorms.

TIC TOC
Look, up ahead! I see something. Someone’s coming. There are two of them...no, three...

DOROTHY
There’s a girl in front

UNCLE HENRY
and a man in a chair and...
 35
TIC TOC
And a strange looking fellow with clocks all over him.
(TIC TOC points.)

DOROTHY
He’s pointing.
(TIC TOC waves)
UNCLE HENRY
He’s waving.

TIC TOC
Big Wheeler! Dorothy, Look! It’s us, we’re coming this way.

DOROTHY
It’s us! Look it’s us, we’re there.

TIC TOC
We have stumbled into the domain of Princess Langwidere. SHE LIVES IN A PALACE MADE OF
MIRRORS.

DOROTHY
So we’re seeing...
UNCLE HENRY
Our own reflections!
TIC TOC
Time is an enemy to Langwidere. I suggest we retreat!

UNCLE HENRY
The only way is to face them down. Forward!

TIC TOC
Retreat!
(UNCLE HENRY charges off in one direction and TIC
TOC in another. )

DOROTHY
UNCLE HENRY!

TIC TOC
DOROTHY!

DOROTHY
TIC TOC!

(The sand swirls as they lights change .)

 36
LANGWIDERE’S PALACE

(Scene shifts to the boudoir of LANGWIDERE’S palace,

a place made entirely of mirrors. PRINCESS
LANGWIDERE stands gazing into a mirror.)
BEAUTIFUL ME

LANGWIDERE
EACH MORNING
WHEN I WAKE
I PUT MY BEST FACE FORWARD
MY BEST FACE FORWARD
AND I SCREW MY HEAD ON STRAIGHT
BUT TODAY, LIKE EVERYDAY
I PUT MY BEST FACE FORWARD
MY BEST FACE FORWARD
WHICH I THOUGHT WAS NUMBER EIGHT
BUT SOMETHING ISN’T RIGHT
IT’S TOO LOOSE OR IT’S TOO TIGHT
SOMEHOW I FEEL THIS HEAD’S A MASQUERADE
SO IT’S OFF TO MY BOUDOIR TO MAKE A TRADE.
(Spoken)
Nanda, fetch me my heads!
(NANDA enters as the boudoir forms around them.)

NANDA
Very good, Madame! And who are we feeling like today?

LANGWIDERE
Oh, I don’t know. Today I feel so, je ne sais quois, so comme si comme sa, so...
(Sings)
SO TELL ME
THOUGH I’M FEELING SO SO-SO
AM I BEAUTIFUL?
NANDA
YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL
YOU’RE A GODDESS IN A BODICE
TRES JOLI
LANGWIDERE
TRES JOLI
ANYTIME I COULD USE SOME
SUPPORT WHEN FEELING WHO-HUM
I’VE GOT THIRTY HEADS I CAN CHOOSE FROM
(YOU CAN SEE)
N’EST PAS? OUI!
EVERY HEAD CREATES A NEW AND BEAUTIFUL ME!

(The head’s eyes pop open as LANGWIDERE describes

them. She does not look too closely at them, but NANDA
does.)
 37
LANGWIDERE
NUMBER TWENTY-TWO FOR WHEN I’M FEELING NOBLE

HEAD 22 (FEMALE)
DUM-DA-DUM
LANGWIDERE
A GRECIAN NOSE AND SKIN AS SMOOTH AS CREAM

HEAD 22
DA-DA-DUM-DA-DUM
LANGWIDERE
WITH A REGAL SENSE OF STYLE, PERFECT HAIR, PERFECT SMILE
I’M A DREAM

ALL HEADS
A DREAM, A DREAM, DREAM.

LANGWIDERE
BUT THEN THERE’S ALWAYS FIERY NUMBER FIFTEEN.

HEAD 15 (FEMALE)
LA-LA-LA
LANGWIDERE
SHE’S A DEVIL, FLASHING EYES AND SPITTING CURLS

HEAD 15
LA-LA-LA-LA-LA
LANGWIDERE
MYSTERIOUS AND WITTY, IMPERIOUS BUT PRETTY
WHAT A GIRL!

ALL HEADS
WHAT A GIRL.

LANGWIDERE
THERE’S ELEVEN, BLOND ALWAYS DOZING
AND EXTREMELY FOND OF POSING
DEWEY EYES AND LIPS, A RUBY ROSE

HEAD 11 (MALE)
YODEL-AY-EE-OO
LANGWIDERE
WHY CHANGE CLOTHES?
ALL HEADS
WHY CHANGE CLOTHES?

LANGWIDERE HEADS
CHANGE YOUR LIPS AND CHEEKS AND NOSE LIPS...CHEEKS...NOSE
AS A SULTRY BLOND OR A REDHEAD
I FEEL BEAUTIFUL
 38
HEADS AND NANDA
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
LANGWIDERE
THEN WHY NOT LET THE WHOLE WORLD SEE ALL MY CHARMS?

HEADS AND NANDA

CHARMING, CHARMING
LANGWIDERE
I MUST KEEP AHEAD OF MY RIVALS
SO TO KEEP AHEAD OF MY RIVALS
I KEEP A HEAD OF MY RIVALS
FOR MYSELF, ON THE SHELF
NUMBER SEVEN, OOOO HEAVEN, WITHOUT THE ARMS.

(NANDA looks at #7 and slams the door.)

NANDA
Not number seven, Madam!
LANGWIDERE
Why not?
NANDA
The hair’s a trifle dirty.
LANGWIDERE
Then there’s always number thirty!
NANDA
Not number thirty!

LANGWIDERE HEADS
BEAUTY’S IN THE EYE OF EVERY BEHOLDER
WHO BEHOLDS ME
WITH THIRTY ON, I FEEL SUPREME, SUPREME
SUPREME
RAVISHING OH THE LAVISHING OF ATTENTION
NOT TO MENTION ALL THE GAZING
AND THE PRAISING OF
ME,ME,ME!
(LANGWIDERE exits behind a screen.)

NANDA
WHAT TO DO...WHAT TO DO...
VERY STRANGE...WHAT TO DO
THINGS ARE CHANGING RIGHT AND LEFT, LEFT AND RIGHT
THERE ARE CRINKLES IN THE SKIN
NUMBER TWELVE HAS GAINED A CHIN
AND ON SEVERAL HEADS THE HAIR HAS STREAKS OF WHITE
WHAT A SIGHT!
STILL SHE MIGHT NOT NOTICE
MY VOTE IS TO DISAPPEAR
FOR I FEAR
SHE WILL SOON LOOK IN A MIRROR
 39
(LANGWIDERE makes an entrance wearing #30, a head
with a mean streak.)

HEADS
GORGEOUS!
INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS
WE’RE IN AWE (AH-AH-AH-AH)

LANGWIDERE
SAY I’M GAWDY, SAY I’M LOUD
BUT SAY I’M BEAUTIFUL.

HEADS AND NANDA

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
LANGWIDERE
SAY I’M HAUGHTY. I’M JUST PROUD TO BE DIVINE

HEADS AND NANDA

YOU’RE DIVINE

LANGWIDERE HEADS
THEY SAY BEAUTY’S ONLY SKIN DEEP
OH, WELL, WHO NEEDS TO GO DEEPER
WHEN THE FACE I WEAR IS A KEEPER
(To NANDA)
DO YOU MIND?!!
(Back)
SO REFINED SO REFINED
AND EVERY HEAD THAT YOU SEE HERE IS MINE, MINE, MINE
EVERY DIMPLE EVERY LASH

NANDA
EVERY PIMPLE AND MOUSTACHE

LANGWIDERE HEADS
IS ANOTHER ME, ME, ME, ME ME, ME, ME, ME
BEAUTIFUL ME ME, ME, ME, ME
DAZZLING! RADIANT
BEAUTIFUL
ME!
(SONG ENDS)
(There is the sound of a loud gong. Nanda crosses and
appears to look out a window.)
NANDA
Madam, the guards have a girl at the front gate.
LANGWIDERE
A girl, Nanda?
NANDA
Yes, Madam.
LAMGWIDERE
Is she young, Nanda?
NANDA
Yes, Madam.
 40
LANGWIDERE
Is she pretty, Nanda?
NANDA
Yes, Madam.
LANGWIDERE
How pretty?
NANDA
Pretty pretty!
LANGWIDERE
Well then, have them show her in….Nanda…. arrange me!

(NANADA arranges LANGWIDERE)

DOROTHY
I’m so sorry to disturb you, your Highness, your Majesty, …. Your Whatever, but my Uncle and I got lost
in a sand storm…
NANDA
Bow!
DOROTHY
What?
NANDA
Bow! People who don’t bow, don’t keep their heads very long.
(DOROTHY bows.)

LANGWIDERE
You may approach me child.
(DOROTHY rises and approaches LANGWIDERE a bit
uncertainly..)

LANGWIDERE
Do you like this head?
DOROTHY
It is very beautiful.
LANGWIDERE
Your head is rather nice as well, in a sweet , country bumpkin, sort of way. It has possibilities.

DOROTHY
Oh no. My eyes are too squinty and close together and my nose is too big. I hate my face.

LANGWIDERE
Then get rid of it, that’s what I always do.
(The gong rings again and UNCLE HENRY comes
bursting into the scene battling an off-stage Guard.)
 41
UNCLE HENRY
Take that you Bushranger, Sidewinding, Sloe-poke, Slack jawed, Sissy foot!
Pole me with a spear?
LANGWIDERE.
Cease and desist this moment! How dare you bring combat into my boudoir?

DOROTHY
Uncle Henry!
LANGWIDERE
SSSHH!
NANDA
BOW!
(UNCLE HENRY ducks his head and bows.)

LANGWIDERE
You may rise.
(UNCLE HENRY lifts his head. LANGWIDERE gasps at the
sight of his face.)
What is the matter with your face?

UNCLE HENRY
Huh?
LANGWIDERE
It’s all rumpled!
UNCLE HENRY
Rumpled?
LANGWIDERE
Your eyes are so squinty, and your brow is all bumpy. Your cheeks, they sag and all those little crinkly
lines. You have broken your face!

UNCLE HENRY
Those are just wrinkles.
LANGWIDERE
Is that what you call them? How droll.
(She snaps her fingers and NANDA brings her a large
magnifying glass.)
And your hair...Your hair. What is that disgusting color?

UNCLE HENRY
Grey.
LANGWIDERE
If you ever see any gray hair in any of my heads, pull it out at once.

NANDA
Yes, Mam.
LANGWIDERE
(To UNCLE HENRY)
Stand up.
DOROTHY
He can’t.
LANGWIDERE
I command you to stand up.
 42
UNCLE HENRY
I can try.
(UNCLE HENRY struggles to his feet using his canes.)

DOROTHY
Last year, he had a sickness called a stroke.
LANGWIDERE
In Oz we do not allow sickness.

DOROTHY
It’s just something that happens when time passes.

LANGWIDERE
In Oz we do not allow time to pass.
DOROTHY
Since then, he can’t use his legs.
LANGWIDERE
If he can’t use his legs, then why does he have them?

UNCLE HENRY
I’m up! See, look at that!
LANGWIDERE
Remove the wheely thing.
(LANGWIDERE motions to NANDA.)

DOROTHY
Don’t! He needs that.
LANGWIDERE
Walk!
DOROTHY
He can’t!
(UNCLE HENRY struggles to take a step.)

LANGWIDERE
Now, run, hop, jump.
DOROTHY
He can’t!
(LANGWIDERE kicks one of his canes out from under him. UNCLE
HENRY falls, but DOROTHY catches him and helps him back into
the chair,)

LANGWIDERE
Helpless! How revolting!
DOROTHY
It’s not his fault.
LANGWIDERE
THEN WHOSE FAULT IS IT?
(NANDA plucks a hair from LANGWIDERE.)
 43
LANGWIDERE
OW!
NANDA
Got it.
LANGWIDERE
Got what?
NANDA
One of those gray hairs.
LANGWIDERE
On me? You found one of those gray hairs on ME?

NANDA
Yes Mam. And I found wrinkly things on this head, and a bumpy brow on this one, and eye bags on this
one, and the chin sags on that one!

LANGWIDERE
My heads! My beautiful heads? OH NO! OH NO!

HEADS
OH NO! Oh No! Oh no! Oh no, no, no.

LANGWIDERE
What have you done to my heads?

UNCLE HENRY
It’s not me. It’s TIME!
(TIC TOC enters.)

GUARD
The guards have apprehended another prisoner.

DOROTHY
Tic Toc!

LANGWIDERE
Tic Toc? Tic Toc? The Time Machine? Turn yourself off immediately!

TIC TOC
I can’t!

LANGWIDERE
Then I’ll turn you back and make my heads young and beautiful again.

TIC TOC
Only Dorothy can do that. She has the key.

LANGWIDERE
Then give it to me.
 44
(LANGWIDERE makes a lunge for it and is repulsed by a strange
sound and swirling lights which suddenly surround DOROTHY.)

DOROTHY
Wow!

UNCLE HENRY
Atta girl, Dorothy!

LANGWIDERE
SILENCE!
(To DOROTHY)
Do you know what you have started? I beg you. Turn him off!

DOROTHY
I don’t know how.

LANGWIDERE
FOOLS!
(To the guard)
Take them to the guardhouse. Lock them up for tonight and in the morning, I’ll have their heads!

(NANDA escorts them out. LANGWIDERE runs from mirror to

mirror. )

LANGWIDERE
We had a perfect balance here. Perfect. And now it’s all out of joint!

(She looks in the hand mirror, terrified)

I am growing older!
(Lights fade.)
 45
IN THE GUARDHOUSE
(It is night. DOROTHY, is illuminated by a pin spot.)

TIC TOC
Can you see anything, Dorothy?
(The cell, made of light, forms around them as
DOROTHY speaks.)

DOROTHY
Just these bars, cold steel all around us.
( The light is crossed with the pattern of bars which
defines the cell.)
I think we’re in a cage of some kind.

TIC TOC
Can you see anything else?
DOROTHY
Only darkness.
TIC TOC
It’s midnight and night is a dangerous time in Oz.

UNCLE HENRY
I wanted to stand up, walk over and spit in her eye.

TIC TOC
No one knows what to do with darkness here.

UNCLE HENRY
Look at me Dorothy, what do you see?

DOROTHY
I see ...
UNCLE HENRY
A broken down, old farmer.
DOROTHY
Uncle Henry.
UNCLE HENRY
Useless, totally useless.

DOROTHY
Don’t think about it.

UNCLE HENRY
Helpless. How revolting.

(MUSIC IN)

WHEN DID I GET OLD?

DOROTHY
It’s late and we’re tired and there’s nothing we can do about it now.
 46
UNCLE HENRY
(Sings)
WHEN DID I GET OLD?
LAST WEEK, LAST MONTH, LAST YEAR?
WHEN DID SUMMER TURN TO FALL?
I DIDN’T SEE IT CHANGE AT ALL
THIS CAN’T BE ME
WHEN DID I GET OLD?

HOW DID I GET OLD

I LOOKED INSIDE HER MIRROR
SAW AN OLD MAN IN A CHAIR
JUST SITTING THERE
HOW CAN THAT BE ME?
HOW DID I GET OLD

INSIDE MY MIND I’M HEALTHY I AM STRONG

I’M THE MAN I’VE ALWAYS BEEN BEFORE
DOING EVERYTHING I’VE DONE BEFORE
I KNOW I’M LONG PAST YOUTH
BUT TO TELL THE TRUTH
I NEVER THOUGHT THAT I WAS OLD

DOROTHY
I THOUGHT I COULD TAKE CARE OF YOU
AND KEEP YOU SAFE FROM HARM
I’D SHELTER YOU. I’D FIGHT FOR YOU
PROTECT YOU FROM THE COLD
SO, TELL IF YOU KNOW
TELL ME IF YOU CAN
TELL ME SOMETHING NO ONE ELSE CAN TELL ME
WHEN DID I GET OLD?

DOROTHY
Uncle Henry, you’re not... old. You’re just...tired.

(SONG ENDS)
(UNCLE HENRY turns away and sleeps.)
 47
TIC TOC
I am very fortunate to be mechanical. The worst I can do is rust.

DOROTHY
Can you really control time?

TIC TOC
Whoever has the key controls time. I just keep it organized. This dial here moves Time forward, and this
one moves it back.
DOROTHY
So if I turned this little gear?
TIC TOC
By tomorrow it will be last year.

DOROTHY
And I’d go back to being eleven when I had freckles and my hair stood straight out in pigtails.

TIC TOC
Your body would change to how it was back then.

DOROTHY
And Uncle Henry, what would happen to him?

TIC TOC
He would go back to before.
DOROTHY
Let’s do it!
TIC TOC
What?
DOROTHY
Give him a year or two, that’s all it would take.

TIC TOC
Time is complicated enough when it moves forward, backwards could be chaos!

DOROTHY
Back before his illness, back when he could...

TIC TOC
That’s just what the Nome King wants, to turn Time back to the Stone Age.

DOROTHY
We won’t go that far, just one year, two just to be sure. Oh Heck, why not three?

TIC TOC
Dorothy, don’t do this!

DOROTHY
I thought you said Time was mine.
 48
TIC TOC
Yes, but...

DOROTHY
Then I choose three years!

TIC TOC
If you allow Time to continue back to before you were born, you will just disappear as if you had never
been.

DOROTHY
We’ll just do it for a day. We can give him that much.

(DOROTHY turns the dial, there is a soft bump in lights and

sound. DOROTHY takes her blanket puts it over UNCLE
HENRY’S legs and lies down again on the bench.)

TIC TOC
(Softly)
SECONDS...SEASONS...CENTURIES AND SUCH.

(Lights fade. UNCLE HENRY and DOROTHY sleep.

TIC TOC ticks, “toc tic, toc tic, toc tic.)
 49
(MIST CREEPS ACROSS THE STAGE AND STRANGE,
NOME MUSIC BEGINS. A BEAM OF SCARLET
LIGHT SWEEPS ACROSS THE STAGE, FOLLOWED
BY ANOTHER, FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER, IN LURID
COLORS, FELDSPAR SCUTTLES ACROSS THE
STAGE. THE LIGHTS FOLLOW HIM LIKE HENCH-
MEN. THEY ARE SEARCHING FOR THE CELL.
FELDSPAR GESTURES AND THE LIGHTS
SCRAMBLE ALL OVER THE STAGE AND SWEEP UP
AND AROUND THE PORTALS. THE MUSIC BUILDS.
FLEDSPAR FINDS THE CELL.)

(FELDSPAR WHISTLES AND THE LIGHTS MOVE

AROUND HIM, GATHERING STRENGTH.
FELDSPAR GESTURES AND THE LIGHTS SWIRL
AROUND THE CELL. THE CELL SHATTERS.
DOROTHY WAKES, CRIES OUT AND IS THROWN IN
ONE DIRECTION. TIC TOC IS FLUNG IN ANOTHER.
FLEDSPAR GRABS UNCLE HENRY’S WHEELCHAIR
AND SPINS HIM OFF IN ANOTHER DIRECTION.)

DOROTHY
Hey!

TIC TOC
Dorothy! Big Wheeler!

DOROTHY
Uncle Henry... where are you?

UNCLE HENRY
Dorothy!

DOROTHY
TIC TOC, WHAT IS HAPPENING?

TIC TOC
NOMES!

DOROTHY
UNCLE HENRY I CAN’T SEE YOU!

UNCLE HENRY
DOROTHY!

TIC TOC
TIME IS STILL GOING BACKWARDS!

DOROTHY
TIC TOC DO SOMETHING!
 50
TIC TOC
DO NOT LET THEM GET MY KEY!!
(FELDSPAR LUNGES FOR THE KEY . A CONE OF
WHITE LIGHT SURROUNDS DOROTHY. THE
SOUND OF THE KEY IS HEARD AND BOTH
FLEDSPAR AND THE COLORED LIGHTS ARE
REPULSED.)

UNCLE HENRY
DOROTHY!!!!
(THE LIGHTS SWIRL AROUND TIC TOC.)

TIC TOC
Dorothy, you must find Ozma!
DOROTHY
How?
TIC TOC
If you can’t go to her, she must come to you!

(FELDSPAR GESTURES AND THE LIGHTS PULL TIC

TOC AWAY.)

DOROTHY
Tic Toc, tell me what to do!

TIC TOC
Think of her and she will come to you! HOLD HER IN YOUR MIND!

DOROTHY
UNCLE HENRY…

(TIC TOC, FELDSPAR AND THE COLORED LIGHTS

EXIT, LEAVING DOROTHY AND UNCLE HENRY
TRAPPED IN SEPARATE JAIL CELLS ON OPPOSITE
SIDES OF THE STAGE.)

UNCLE HENRY
DOROTHY….

DOROTHY
OZMA, FIND US! FIND US, OZMA!
(LIGHTS FADE)

END OF ACT ONE

 51
ACT TWO

(The stage is filled with mist. DOROTHY and UNCLE

HENRY are on opposite sides of the stage in separate
cells.

DOROTHY
OZMA FIND US! FIND US OZMA!

UNCLE HENRY
Where are you, Dorothy?
(LIGHTS change. Dawn breaks)

DOROTHY
UNCLE HENRY, LOOK AT THE SUNS!
(The five suns of Oz, in shades of blue, lavender, and pink
rise down from above.)
MUSIC IN

OZMA’S ENTRANCE
UNCLE HENRY
What’s that sound?
(A CHORUS of harmonic “AHHHHHH’s “.)

DOROTHY
Across the desert! It looks like a cloud! There’s a spot of silver.

(Rainbow colored lights swirl in the fog .)

UNCLE HENRY
I don’t see anything.
(‘AHHH’s’ ‘turn to ‘OZZZZZ’)

DOROTHY
It’s a carpet, a broad green carpet, unrolling itself across the sand.

UNCLE HENRY
I still don’t see...

DOROTHY
Then look harder!
(LIGHTS swoop and soar and shoot across the stage turning
everything green. )

DOROTHY
It’s Ozma and she has come with her army to rescue us

UNCLE HENRY
I see them!
( The cell s shatter and disappear. GENERAL, MAJOR and
the ARMY appear at the top of a tall staircase. A brilliant
shaft of white light illuminates them. They make the ‘OZ
salute’ a large O with a Z inside.)
 52

GENERAL
I am the General
MAJOR
I am the Major
ARMY
And I am the Army
ALL
of OZ!
(They step aside and reveal a small child in a beautiful gown
standing behind them. She steps briskly down the stairs as the
entourage sings the harmonic chord full out.)

ALL
OZMA OF OZ!
UNCLE HENRY
(Dumbfounded)
But you’re just a little girl.

OZMA
I am somewhat littler today than I was yesterday and bigger, I fear, than I shall be tomorrow.

DOROTHY
The jail just disappeared. How did you do that?

OZMA
I didn’t. You did.
DOROTHY
I did?
OZMA
You believed in the rescue more than you believed in the jail.

DOROTHY
It’s that simple?

OZMA
That’s not simple at all.

GENERAL
Strange things are happening.

MAJOR
Flowers are unblooming.

ARMY
Waves are lapping backwards.

OZMA
I have grown a full six inches shorter today than yesterday.
 53
DOROTHY
I’m afraid that’s our fault. You see, we started the Tic Toc man and …
(All gasp)
OZMA
That was a dangerous thing to do.
DOROTHY
And, last night I set his controls to run backwards.
(All gasp again.)
UNCLE HENRY
Why?
DOROTHY
I did it for you, Uncle Henry.
UNCLE HENRY
For me? Why?
DOROTHY
I wanted you to go back to before.
UNCLE HENRY
Before what?
DOROTHY
Your illness. But I never dreamed all of Oz would go back as well.

OZMA
So I am growing...
DOROTHY
Younger, we all are. Three years per day.
(All gasp a third time.)
(NANDA enters with a wheelbarrow full of stone heads, followed
by the GUARD, FOOTMAN and COOK. Each are holding a
head made of stone.)

NANDA
Don’t mind us. We’re just cleaning up.
(The GUARD, COOK and FOOTMAN toss their heads
into the wheelbarrow and dust off their hands.)

DOROTHY
What happened to the heads?
FOOTMAN
The Princess sold Tic Toc to the Nome King …
COOK
…in exchange for his promise that none of her heads would grow any older.

MAID
So, he turned Princess Langwidere’s body into marble

NANDA
… and all her heads into alabaster.

(LANGWIDERE’S servants burst into raucous laughter,

UNCLE HENRY and DOROTHY join in.)

UNCLE HENRY
That will fix her, eh, Dorothy?
 54

(MUSIC IN)
GENERAL
Excuse me, did he say, Dorothy?

MAJOR
As in Dorothy Gale?

ARMY
As in THE Dorothy Gale of the star called Kansas?

DOROTHY
Kansas is a state, not a star.
 55
NATIONAL HERO
GENERAL
IT’S HER.
MAJOR
IT’S HER.
ARMY
IN THE FLESH
NANDA
IT’S REALLY HER!
OZMA
Dorothy, Gale, do you have any idea who you are?

ALL
OUR NATIONAL HERO
ADVENTUROUS AND BRAVE
OUR NATIONAL HERO, DOROTHY
WHAT YOU’VE MEANT TO US. YOU GAVE US
HOPE. YOU’RE A LEGEND! WE STUDY YOU IN SCHOOL

NANDA
“THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME” HAS BECOME OUR GOLDEN RULE

ALL
IT’S AN HONOR TO BE STANDING HERE BECAUSE
YOU’RE DOROTHY, THE NATIONAL HERO OF OZ!

MAID
THE HISTORY
OF DOROTHY
AS TAUGHT TO EVERY CHILD
WAS COMPILED BY OUR NUMBER ONE SCHOLAR
SCARECROW OF OZ.
MAID
AS CURATOR OF THE DOROTHY MUSEUM
HE UM...
TEACHES THE TEACHERS
‘BOUT HOW YOU WHACKED TWO WITCHES WHEN YOU
LANDED IN OZ
MAID
THE LIBRARY COLLECTION, HAS AN ACADEMIC SECTION
THERE’S A MAZE OF DISPLAYS FULL OF DOROTHY ARTIFACTS

GENERAL MAJOR ARMY

DISSERTATIONS
PUBLICATIONS
NOT TO MENTION THE CONVENTIONS ON
DOROTHIAN THEORY
MAID
AND IN FACT
NANDA
SO WHAT,
SHE’S BACK!
 56
GENERAL & MAJOR & ARMY NANDA
OUR NATIONAL HERO ( Obbligato)
FOUND IN STATUES AND IN ART DOROTHY GALE
OUR NATIONAL HERO, DOROTHY DOROTHY GALE
SO VIRTUOUS

ALL
SO SMART. WHEN
WITCHES AND WICKEDNESS WERE ALL WE EVER KNEW
YOU FELL FROM THE SKY AND TAUGHT US ALL TO BE BRAVE AND
TRUE
THE MENTION OF YOUR NAME RECEIVES APPLAUSE
DOROTHY, THE NATIONAL HERO OF OZ

ALL
NATIONAL DOROTHY DAY
IS A HOLIDAY
WHEN BANKS AND SCHOOLS ARE CLOSED

GENERAL
WE DECORATE OUR DOROTHY TREES
WITH RUBY SHOES AND BOWS

ALL
WE BAKE DOROTHY COOKIES
WE SING DOROTHY CAROLS
AND IN PERFORM PAGENTS ACTING OUT
YOUR ADVENTURES IN OZ

GIRLS
LITTLE MUNCHKINESSES PUT ON THEIR DOROTHY DRESSES

BOYS
LITTLE MUNCHKIN BOYS PUT ON THEIR TIN MAN PANTS

ARMY GENERAL MAJOR NANDA

PUPPET SHOWS
PARADES
WATER FIGHTS
CHARADES
ALL
ON DOROTHY DAY, WE ALL GET UP AND DANCE.

(GENERAL, ARMY, MAJOR and NANDA dance a

whirling dance representing the cyclone. They enact the
squishing of one witch with a house and the melting of
the other with a glass of water. As everyone gets totally
carried away. OZMA steps in and raises her arms.)
 57
OZMA
TRUE, WE ALL HAVE FUN
BUT WHEN THE CELEBRATION’S DONE
WE ALL GATHER ROUND… AND SING

DOROTHY GALE WE THANK YOU

FOR HELPING OZ TO FIND
THE GIFTS WE HAD INSIDE US
OUR COURAGE, HEART AND MIND
A HEART TO FEEL FOR OTHERS
A MIND TO FIND WHAT’S TRUE
COURAGE TO KNOW WHEN TO FIGHT
AND WHEN TO THINK IT THROUGH
ALL
THE PEOPLE OF OZ WILL NEVER FAIL
AS LONG AS WE REMEMBER DOROTHY GALE

(One by one, the people of Oz come forward to honor

DOROTHY. The GENERAL, The MAJOR, The ARMY,
NANDA and finally OZMA, herself approach
DOROTHY, bow and salute her with the national salute
of OZ.)

( UNCLE HENRY rises from his wheelchair, crosses to

DOROTHY. He bows and salutes her. DOROTHY stands
and returns the salute.)

(The people of OZ surround UNCLE HENRY and draw

him into their anthem.)

UNCLE HENRY
Dorothy?

DOROTHY
Yes, Uncle Henry!

ALL
OUR NATIONAL HERO
OUR NATIONAL HERO
OUR NATIONAL HERO OF OZ!
 58
(At the end of the song, there a deep rumbling from the
earth and a geyser of steam shoots up from the ground.)

ROQUAT’S VOICE
THE KEY? WHERE IS THE KEY?
UNCLE HENRY
What was that!
OZMA
Unless I am mistaken, it is the Nome King!

ROQUAT’S VOICE
THE TIME MAN IS NO GOOD TO ME WITHOUT THE KEY!
I WILL SHAKE AND QUAKE UNTIL WHOEVER HAS IT COMES FORWARD,

DOROTHY
It’s mine and you can’t have it!

ROQUAT’S VOICE
I’ll POUND YOU TO PANCACKES, CRUSH YOU TO CRUMBS, SMASH YOU TO SMUDGE.
(The geyser shoots high into the air again. lights swirl
inside.)

OZMA
Stop it, you big bully!
(She stamps on the ground and the geyser stops
instantly.)
DOROTHY
Why is he so mean?

OZMA
He hates all living things.
DOROTHY
Why?
OZMA
Because his heart is stone, but he can’t hurt us until dark.

DOROTHY
And then?
OZMA
Then, you shall simply have to save us.
DOROTHY
Me?
UNCLE HENRY
Well, of course, you! You’re a National Hero!

DOROTHY
But...
UNCLE HENRY
And I am the Big Wheeler!

OZMA
Dorothy Gale, I hereby place the entire Army of Oz under your command!
 59
DOROTHY
Mine?
GENERAL
Ten’ Hut!
(They snap to attention.)

DOROTHY
What do I do, Uncle Henry?
UNCLE HENRY
(Whispering)
Give ‘em an order.

DOROTHY
Attention!
ARMY
(Teeth clenched)
We’re already at attention.
DOROTHY
(Whispering to Uncle Henry)
Now what?

UNCLE HENRY
March!

DOROTHY
March!

(They march in place.)

Where?

UNCLE HENRY
Forward!.

DOROTHY
FORWARD!

(MUSIC STARTS)
DOROTHY
Where?
(THEY start forward. ARMY and MAJOR push
GENERAL in the wheelchair.)

UNCLE HENRY
We’ll figure it out when we get there.
 60
(MUSIC STARTS)

FORWARD
ALL
FORWARD, FORWARD
DON’T KNOW WHERE WE’RE GOING
BUT WE’RE GOING FORWARD
AND WHEN WE GET TO WHERE WE’RE GOING
THEN WE’LL BE THERE
UNTIL THEN, WE DON’T KNOW,
SO,
ONWARD, FORWARD WE GO.
(The suns move higher in the sky and change color. A
soft snow starts to fall. The tree revolves and is hung
with icicles. The portals shift slightly off-center.)

DOROTHY
Look, Uncle Henry, it’s winter!

GENERAL/ARMY/MAJOR UNCLE HENRY

FORWARD, FORWARD I’M FEELING STRONGER
YEARS ARE GOING BACKWARDS LIKE MY OLD SELF AGAIN
BUT WE’RE GOING FORWARD FEELING GREAT LIKE I COULD
FLY
ARMY
AND THOUGH WE’RE FREEZING
MAJOR
...AND WHEEZING
GENERAL
... AND SNEEZING

ARMY, MAJOR, GENERAL, UNCLE HENRY, & OZMA

WE’LL FOLLOW YOU THROUGH RAIN AND SLEET AND SNOW

ALL
SO,
ONWARD, FORWARD WE GO.
(The suns are now higher in the sky and change to fall
colors. The portals shift again, Leaves float upwards
from the ground onto the tree. )
ARMY/MAJOR/GENERAL
Ahhhhhhh!!!
GENERAL
Look at the leaves!
DOROTHY
That’s what happens, leaves fall. That’s why they call it Fall.
MAJOR
But, they are falling up.
DOROTHY
That’s because time is going backward.
ARMY
I think I’m going to faint.
 61

GENERAL/ MAJOR/ ARMY

FORWARD

DOROTHY
LISTEN UP!
IT’S TIME TO STOP YOUR GRUMBLING

GENERAL/ ARMY/ MAJOR

FORWARD

OZMA
BUCK UP
‘CAUSE THE WORLD WE KNOW IS CRUMBLING

DOROTHY
I’M FEELING YOUNGER EVERY HOUR

OZMA
ME, TOO

OZMA AND DOROTHY

BUT I FEEL AN EXTRA SENSE OF POWER
WITH YOU
‘CAUSE IF A LITTLE GIRL CAN RULE THE WORLD
A LITTLE GIRL CAN SAVE THE WORLD
FROM THE DARKNESS DOWN BELOW
SO ONWARD

ARMY
But, it’s hot and…
GENERAL
…Something wet is trickling down…
MAJOR
…My armpits are sticky and…
DOROTHY AND OZMA
Stop Whining!
DOROTHY AND OZMA
FORWARD

UNCLE HENRY
FORWARD

GENERAL/ MAJOR/ ARMY

FORWARD
WE GO
GENERAL
We have come a very long way in a very short time.
MAJOR
Or a very short way in a very long time.
ARMY
Or no distance at all in no time whatsoever.

62
 OZMA
It’s dawn now, the moment when tomorrow begins to turn to yesterday.

DOROTHY
We are right back where we started AT EASE MEN!
(GENERAL, ARMY, AND MAJOR stand at ease.)
OZMA
No we’re not. We are all three years younger.
DOROTHY
That’s amazing!
GENERAL/MAJOR/ARMY
No it isn’t. It’s TERRIBLE!
GENERAL
Look what just happened to the tree!
MAJOR
And the leaves!
ARMY
And the sky!
(DOROTHY paces back and forth addressing her men.
The eyeballs of the MANGABOOS follow her. UNCLE
HENRY notices.)

DOROTHY
Those are just seasons. They come and go. And come again.

GENERAL
In Oz we don’t allow things to come..
MAJOR
Or go...’
ARMY
Or come again...
DOROTHY
Why not?
GENERAL/MAJOR/ ARMY
IT’S TOO CONFUSING!

UNCLE HENRY
Uhhhhh. Dorothy. Don’t look now, but that plant is watching us.

(UNCLE HENRY crosses up to the plant. DOROTHY

takes out her book.)

DOROTHY
What an unusual plant! My American Girl’s Handy Book tells all about plants.
 63
OZMA
That’s not a plant it’s a Mangaboo. It won’t hurt you as long as you leave it alone.

GENERAL
In Oz we have a saying…
MAJOR
“Whatever you do”…
ARMY
“Don’t mess with”…
ALL
“THE MANGABOOS.”
(UNCLE HENRY approaches the plant and the eyeballs
begin to spin. Strange sounds are heard.)
EYEBALL BEAT
DOROTHY
(Looking in her book.)
I can’t read this. I see the words on the page, but I don’t know what they mean.

UNCLE HENRY
I’ve never seen anything like this.
(The eyeballs continue to spin and whirl around and pop
in and out.)

DOROTHY
Ozma, I’ve gotten so young, I can’t read anymore!

OZMA
We must find the Tic Toc Man, at once!
(UNCLE HENRY is fascinated by the eyeballs. He
moves his hands in circles and they respond..)

(The vine snaps UNCLE HENRY back and twines

around him.)

VINES BEAT
ALL
DON’T MESS WITH THE MANGABOOS!
 64
DOROTHY
Army, General, Major, Help him!
(They rush in and become tangled in the vines.)

GENERAL
We would, if we could.
MAJOR
But we can’t.
ARMY
So we won’t.
(The heads snap back and forth as they fight.)

UNCLE HENRY
I can manage!

(A terrible MANGABOO sound is heard and three heads

rise up in the air.)

HEAD BEAT

DOROTHY
General, attack that head!

GENERAL
Major, attack that head!

MAJOR
Army, attack that head!

ARMY
Major, attack that head!

MAJOR
General, attack that head!
DOROTHY
I’ll check my American Girls’ Handy Book. It’s got all kinds of knots

(GENERAL fights with a head, then ARMY fights a

head, and then MAJOR fights with the third head..)

UNCLE HENRY
Dorothy, they’re getting ahead of us!
(UNCLE HENRY is swallowed up by the plant.)
DOROTHY!!!!

DOROTHY
UNCLE HENRY!!!!!!!!
 65
(The sound of ROQUAT’S laughter booms. Another sun
slips from the sky, leaving two. )

ROQUAT’S VOICE
Now, I have the old one as well. It is nice to add a genuine antique to my collection.

DOROTHY
Please, give him back!

OZMA
Roquat, give the Old One back to us!

ROQUAT
Still brazen as bronze, my Dear? I hope you put up a better fight than the old fool!

DOROTHY
Don’t you dare call him that! Army, Major, General! I command you to rescue my Uncle at once!

GENERAL
In battle we are wonderfully brave, but battle is one thing

MAJOR
And marching into an earthquake

ARMY
Is quite another.

OZMA
I understand. You will all return to the Emerald City.
 66
DOROTHY
What kind of Army are you?

OZMA
Dorothy...

DOROTHY
I order you all to-

OZMA
You cannot order the fear and doubt out of their hearts.

(To GENERAL, MAJOR and ARMY)

Dismissed!
(They exit. A sun sets, leaving
a single one left in the sky.)
I shall go alone!
(OZMA stars toward the Portal.)

DOROTHY
Wait.

(MUSIC IN)

BEGINNINGS
DOROTHY
I ‘m coming with you.

OZMA
Is your courage greater than your fear?

DOROTHY
No.

OZMA
Is your confidence stronger than your doubt?

DOROTHY
No....
(SINGS)
BUT HE NEEDS ME
AND I NEED HIM.
SO, I HAVE GOT TO GO DOWN THERE.
I JUST NEED ANOTHER CHANCE.
 67
A CHANCE, THAT’S WHAT THIS IS
I’VE GOT TO GO WITH YOU
I KNOW THAT I’VE MADE A MISTAKE
I’M BEGINNING TO SEE
I WAS WARNED NOT TO START WHAT I COULDN’T STOP
I DIDN’T LISTEN
IWAS FOOLISH
I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT COULD HAPPEN WHEN I USED THE KEY

I DID WHAT I DID ‘CAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS RIGHT

I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD
I COULD GIVE HIM THE CHANCE TO BE STRONG
I THOUGHT HE NEEDED HELP
TO GO BACK TO THE PERSON
HE USED TO BE
AND STILL SHOULD BE
I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE
BUT PERHAPS IT WAS ME ALL ALONG

I’VE GOT A CHANCE

A CHANCE THAT IS MINE
AND I’VE GOT TO TAKE IT
I KNOW THAT THIS ISN’T THE TIME
FOR WORRY OR FEAR
UNCLE HENRY, I WON’T BE THE GIRL I WAS
NO, I’LL BE STRONGER
I’LL BE BRAVER
AND I HAVE TO FIX THIS
THAT MUCH IS CLEAR

I’LL TAKE BACK ALL I EVER DID

OR NEVER DID
OR MEANT TO DO
OR TRIED TO DO
OR DIDN’T DO
OR DID

IT’S MY TURN TO MAKE THINGS ALL RIGHT

TOGETHER WE’LL STAND UP AND FIGHT
THIS TIME, I’M READY, YOU’LL SEE

LET THIS BE THE PLACE I DISCOVER THAT HERO INSIDE OF ME

LET THIS BE THE TIME I BECOME SOMEONE STRONG
WE’RE HERE, WE’RE ALIVE
THIS MOMENT
AND THAT’S A BEGINNING
AND THAT BEGINNING
IS BEGINNING
RIGHT NOW
 68
(As she sings, the scene shifts around her and
DOROTHY and OZMA enter the GNOME KING’S
CAVERN.)

IN THE GNOME KING’S CAVERN

(OZMA and DOROTHY wind through the passageways
of the Nome Kings’s Cavern through tunnels of light.)

ROQUAT
(his voice echoes from all sides.)
Ozma….Ozma….Ozma…!
OZMA
Roquat where are you?
(They arrive at the throne room. A large chamber with
a throne and an area containing several objects of
nature.)

ROQUAT
Here, somewhere.
OZMA
Games, as always, Roquat. We will not play! We will simply stand here until you appear before us.

ROQUAT
As you wish!
(There is a flash and a figure appears on the throne.)

ROQUAT
Why have you come?
DOROTHY
(In a small voice.)
To find, my Uncle, Bill the Chicken and the Tic Toc Man.

OZMA
You are wasting your breath, Dorothy.

DOROTHY
Why?
 69
OZMA
Because that is not the Nome King. Roquat, come out at once.

(He throws off his disguise and is resplendent

underneath.)

ROQUAT
Bi-tuminous and lignite, you are sharp as sulfur, Ozma. Who is this little ingot you have brought with
you?

DOROTHY
I am not an ingot! I am DOROTHY GALE.

ROQUAT
I am Roquat the Nome King and this is Feldspar, a mineral of many uses.

(FELDSPAR jumps off the throne and makes and ugly

rasping sound.)

ROQUAT
Now, Ozma, my dear, it seems an Eocene since last we met. How are you my semi-precious?

OZMA
Very well, if it’s any concern of yours.

ROQUAT
Sit my dears, you must be quite eroded from your journey. Allow me to offer you some hot lava or cool
calcium bi-carbonate.

(FELDSPAR whirls around with a lava lamp on a tray

and a bubbling martini glass.)

OZMA
No, thank you!
(FELDSPAR whisks them away.)
You are very friendly, Roquat.

ROQUAT
I am sorry for our little quakes of the past. Perhaps I am just a sedimentary old fool, but I do hope we can
be friends.

OZMA
You and I are enemies and that will never change.

DOROTHY
How can you speak to us of friendship when you hold three prisoners?

ROQUAT
Prisoners?
DOROTHY
My Uncle, Bill the chicken…
OZMA
And the Tic Toc Man.
 70
ROQUAT
They aren’t my prisoners, they are my possessions!

(FELDSPAR reveals TIC TOC embedded within a

stalagtite.)

DOROTHY
Tic Toc!
ROQUAT
My favorite fossil!
OZMA
Release him at once!
DOROTHY
You can’t capture Time.
ROQUAT
Like a fly in amber, I already have.
OZMA
That’s not right!
DOROTHY
That’s not fair!
ROQUAT
YOU DARE TALK TO ME OF FAIR!

(MUSIC IN)

MINE
ROQUAT
YOU PEOPLE OF OZ AND ALL YOUR KIND
THINK THAT WHATEVER YOU FIND
YOU OWN
YOU TAKE ALL YOU DISCOVER AND UNCOVER
UNDERGROUND OR UNDERSTONE
BUT DID YOU EVER THINK BEFORE
THAT YOUR GRANITE AND YOUR ORE
WERE STOLEN
DID YOU EVER STOP TO WONDER
THAT THE TREASURES FOUND DOWN UNDER
YOUR TERRAINE
COME FROM MY DOMAIN
(Spoken)
I didn’t think so.

YOU DIG
YOU FIND A JEWEL, YOU TAKE IT
YOU STRIKE A VEIN, STAKE A CLAIM OR TWO
PRECIOUS METALS PRECIOUS GEMS
YOU JUST HELP YOURSELF TO THEM
AND YOU THINK IT’S JUST A DANDY THING TO DO
NOT TRUE
CAUSE THEY DON’T BELONG TO YOU
THEY’RE MINE!
THEY’RE MINE!
 71
ROQUAT
YOU DRILL
YOU STRIKE A WELL, A GUSHER
YOU THINK YOU’VE STRUCK IT RICH FROM ALL YOUR TOIL
BUT IT’S REALLY RATHER RUDE
THAT YOU’RE STEALING ALL MY CRUDE
YOU HURT MY DIRT AND CONTAMINATE MY SOIL
IT MAKES ME BOIL
‘CAUSE IT’S NOT YOUR OIL
IT’S MINE!
IT’S MINE!

ROQUAT FELDPSAR
YOU TAKE MY PRECIOUS JEWELS 00000000000000000000
YOU STEAL MY FOSSIL FUELS 00000000000000000000
AND NO ONE EVER ASKS ME IF I MIND 00000000000000000000

ROCK PEOPLE
NOBODY ASKED HIM AT ALL!
ROQUAT
THAT’S NOT KIND
(Spoken)
Take it away, Feldspar!
(FELDSPAR plays a wild riff on a stalacite xylophone
as NOMES accompany with “Stomp” percussion.)

ROQUAT, FELDSPAR AND ROCK PEOPLE

YOU TOOK MY EMERALDS FOR YOUR CITY
MY DIAMONDS FOR YOU CROWN
MY RUBIES FOR YOUR SLIPPERS
MY SAPHIRES FOR YOUR GOWN
MY GRAVEL FOR YOUR ROADS OF YELLOW BRICK

ROQUAT
IT MAKES ME SICK

FELDSPAR AND ROCK PEOPLE

IT’S JUST GEOLOGIC JUSTICE, BUT IT’S TRUE

ROQUAT
THESE THINGS YOU TAKE DO NOT BELONG TO YOU

ROQUAT ROCK PEOPLE FELDSPAR

THEY’RE MINE THEY DON’T BELONG TO YOU ( SCAT )
THEY’RE MINE THEY DON’T BELONG TO YOU ( SCAT )
THEY’RE MINE! THEY DON’T BELONG TO YOU ( SCAT )

(Spoken)
Is that concrete enough for you?
 72
OZMA
You don’t own everything below the ground any more than I own everything above. We rule our
subjects but we don’t own them.

ROQUAT
You rule your way and I’ll rule mine!

DOROTHY
And you certainly don’t own my Uncle!

OZMA
I demand that you release him at once!

ROQUAT
How about a little guessing game, then.
(Shouting)
Feldspar, show them my treasure chamber.

(FELDSPAR indicates a large display area with many

specimens including a large leaf, a piece of
petrified wood and a beautiful crystal.)

ROQUAT
Like carbon into diamond, sap into amber, sand into glass. I have merely transformed him into one of
these beautiful objects of nature. I have not changed his substance, only his form. If you can choose the
correct object and call out his name, he will return to his former shape, the Tic Toc Man will be released,
and you will all go free.

DOROTHY
And if we guess wrong?

ROQUAT
You will turn into pig iron and time will be mine!

OZMA
This is just another trick.

ROQUAT
It’s a game! If you know your Uncle at all it should be child’s play! Now, since we have time again in
Oz, you have three minutes!

(ROQUAT and FELDSPAR exit and slam the cavern doors shut.)

DOROTHY
You do it Ozma. Use your power.

OZMA
My power is your power.
 73
DOROTHY
If I guess wrong, we’ll turn into pig iron.

OZMA
Then you’ll have to guess right.

DOROTHY
I can’t do this. It’s too hard.

OZMA
You are wasting time, Dorothy.

DOROTHY
That’s fine for you to say, he isn’t your Uncle, You’re not the one responsible for him. This is
impossible. He could be anything here, these jewels, or rock, or stone, or gold…
(She picks up a lump of gold and gestures with it,)
Any of these could be Uncle Henry….or Bill! What about Bill?

(There is a flash and BILL appears.)

DOROTHY
Bill! You were the gold!

BILL
The Fool’s gold!
DOROTHY
Oh my Gosh! I did, Ozma! I did it!!

BILL
You the queen around here, or something?

OZMA
Yes, but we are all going to be pig iron, if Dorothy doesn’t hurry up!

DOROTHY
That isn’t helping, Ozma.

OZMA
Tell me one thing, you know for sure about your Uncle!

GUESSING GAME
DOROTHY
He’s old.
OZMA
What’s old?
BILL
Yeah, you know, like elderly, getting along, senior citizen, the golden years….

OZMA
No one is old in Oz!
 74
DOROTHY
This leaf, looks old, the wood is petrified, and the crystal doesn’t seem to hae any age.

BILL
Forget about the crystal!
OZMA
All you have told me about is the outside of these things. Is old just the way someone looks?

BILL
Look at the time, Dorothy!
DOROTHY
Ozma, I don’t know. Help me!
OZMA
Dorothy, hold each of these objects.

BILL
It’s the leaf! It’s the leaf.
(OZMA gestures and the sound of her power is heard.
DOROTHY sits in a pool of colored light and holds the
leaf.)

OZMA
How does it look?
DOROTHY
WEATHERED AND WRINKLED.
OZMA
How does it feel?
DOROTHY
BRITTLE AND LIGHT.
IT WILL START TO BREAK APART
IF I HOLD IT TOO TIGHT
AND ITS COLORS
RED, ORANGE AND GOLD
DEFIANT AND BOLD
MAYBE THAT’S WHAT IT MEANS TO BE OLD.

OZMA
IS THAT UNCLE HENRY?

DOROTHY
YES
WAIT
NO
I DON’T KNOW!
OZMA
Try the wood.
(OZMA hands DOROTHY the wood and makes a
gesture. Sound and light of OZMA’S power begins.)
 75
DOROTHY
IT’S GREY AND IT’S HEAVY
OZMA
Yes, but
(SUNG)
HOW DOES IT FEEL?
DOROTHY
ROUGHENED AND TOUGHENED
FROM YEARS ON THE FIELD
LIKE MY UNCLE
STUBBORN AND FIRM
SOMETIMES LONELY AND COLD
IS THAT HOW IT FEELS TO BE OLD?

OZMA
Is it, Dorothy?
DOROTHY
YES
WAIT
NO
I DON’T KNOW.
(Sound and light of OZMA’S power fades.)

BILL
I told you it wasn’t the wood. Look, the time’s almost up!

OZMA
Try the crystal. What do you see?
(OZMA hands her the crystal, and makes her gesture
and the sound of her power is heard.)

DOROTHY
Myself. I see a reflection of my self.

OZMA
Look beyond yourself.
DOROTHY
BANDS OF COLOR
SHIMMERING
RED, GREEN AND BLUE
GLIMMERING
BEAMS OF LIGHT
TOO BRIGHT, I CAN’T…
(The entire stage begins to fill with colored light,
revolving and dissolving.)
STAR BURSTS, EVER-CHANGING
SHOOTING STARS, REARRANGING
THE COLORS ARE ALIVE
AND THEY’RE CAUGHT UP INSIDE…
(Spoken)
Caught inside the crystal!
Trapped inside.
 76
OZMA
Dorothy?

DOROTHY
Oh, Ozma, there’s so much alive inside of him.
HE’S TRAPPED, JUST LIKE THE CRYSTAL.
UNCLE HENRY!
(There is a flash and UNCLE HENRY appears. TIC
TOC is also freed.)

UNCLE HENRY
Dorothy, you found me! Thank you!

BILL
I knew it was the cyrstal!

OZMA
Welcome back, old one!

TIC TOC
Dorothy, you saved me! Big Wheeler, I’m delighted to see you looking so fit, and Ozma, at last!

BILL
I hate to interupt this touching reunion but does anyone realize we are trapped down here and we are
probably all going to starve?

TIC TOC
Hello Bill.

BILL
Hold it! It’s coming.

DOROTHY
The Nome King?

BILL
No, an egg. I think I’m going to lay and egg.

UNCLE HENRY
Well Hold it. We haven’t got time for that now.

BILL
Okay.
 77

(BILL crosses her legs. The doors swing open and ROQUAT
and FELDSPAR enter.)

ROQUAT
So, you did it! That was very bright of you, bright as a fire opal. And I see you freed the chicken and the
Tic Toc Man as well!

OZMA
Roquat, release us!

ROQUAT
Not a chance.

DOROTHY
We won your game.

ROQUAT
I’ll decide who wins and who loses down here.

DOROTHY
But that’s not fair.
ROQUAT
I never said I was fair. Give me the key.
DOROTHY
No.
ROQUAT
Feldspar, kill the girl and fetch the key.

FELDSPAR
Kill the girl and fetch the key.

(FELDSPAR makes a lunge for DOROTHY. The key

sound is heard and FELDSPAR bounces off .)

ROQUAT
Seize them, Nomes! Throw the old one into the lava pit and crush the chicken between boulders! As for
you Ozma, I shall hold you and the little ingot here as time goes back and back until you both disappear.

(He laughs.)

BILL
SQUAAAAAWK! READY OR NOT, HERE IT COMES.

(BILL lays an egg.)

BILL
Ooops
 78
ROQUAT
WHAT IS THAT?
DOROTHY
It’s an egg.
ROQUAT
(Terrified)
Take it away! Take it away at once!

DOROTHY
It’s only an egg!

ROQUAT
EGGS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN OZ!

(FELDSPAR recoils. DOROTHY picks up the egg and

FELDSPAR shrinks away.)

DOROTHY
Roquat I do believe you’re scared!

UNCLE HENRY
Why would anyone be scared of an egg?

DOROTHY
Because an egg is a living thing. You fear what you hate the most!

UNCLE HENRY
Let him have it!

(A melee ensues. ROCK PEOPLE square off against

DOROTHY, OZMA and UNCLE HENRY. FELDSPAR
fights with UNCLE HENRY using a stalactite as a
sword. UNCLE HENRY uses his cane as a jo stick. They
trade whacks.)

(FELDPSAR and the ROCK PEOPLE are routed; they

crash into each other and tumble about, leaving UNCLE
HENRY to face ROQUAT alone.)

UNCLE HENRY
Go on! I’ll hold him off!

(DOROTHY OZMA, BILL and TIC TOC race to the

surface.)

ROQUAT
AFTER THEM NOMES!
 79

(ON THE SURFACE)

OZMA
Hurry, Dorothy. Turn Time back to day!

DOROTHY
Not until my Uncle gets here.

BILL
The old guy is probably sunny side up by now. Time’s up!

DOROTHY
Time is mine and it isn’t up until I say it is!

(UNCLE HENRY staggers out of the cave.)

UNCLE HENRY
They’re hot on my tail, Dorothy. LET HER RIP!

(DOROTHY throws the switch and the world jolts. The

suns on OZ rise high in the sky and the PORTAL closes.)

(BILL crows a loud cock-a-doodle do.

Everyone looks at her.)

UNCLE HENRY
By golly, you did it, Dorothy!

DOROTHY
We did it, Uncle Henry!
 80
BILL
I helped!
DOROTHY
We all did it!
OZMA
The people of Oz humbly thank you. I shall escort you to the Emerald City in triumph!

BILL
Come on, Tic Toc!

TIC TOC
I cannot go with you. Ozma knows what must be done with me.

OZMA
Dorothy, give me the key.

DOROTHY
Why?

TIC TOC
In Oz there must be only day; it must be only now. Everything must stay exactly as it is. Mostly sunny
with a slight breeze. Nothing must ever change and everything will be perfect again. Ozma must shut me
down.

DOROTHY
But what will happen to you?

TIC TOC
I shall simply cease to be.
BILL
NO!
UNCLE HENRY
You can’t do that! You can’t just stop time!

TIC TOC
Ozma can.

(MUSIC IN)

UNCLE HENRY
But what about tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that?

TIC TOC
That’s all too complicated for Oz.

OZMA
Why would you choose to have time if you didn’t have to?

UNCLE HENRY
It gives you something to look forward to.

OZMA
I don’t understand.

81
LOOKING FORWARD
DOROTHY
LOOKING FORWARD TO EACH MORNING
EVERYDAY I’M SOMEONE NEW
WAKING UP TO AN ADVENTURE
WITH A MILLION THINGS TO DO
LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NIGHTIME

UNCLE HENRY
KNOWING NIGHTMARES ARE JUST DREAMS

DOROTHY
DON’T YOU SEE
TIME’S NOT AS SCAREY AS IT SEEMS
WHEN LOOKING FORWARD

OZMA
We can’t have change in Oz. We haven’t the wisdom.

UNCLE HENRY
WITHOUT CHANGE THERE’S NO ADVENTURE
WITHOUT CHOICE THERE’S NO SURPRISE

BOTH
SURE THE SUN SETS
BUT THEN, WATCHING IT RISE
OH, WATCHING THE SUN RISE

TIC TOC
The key brought you here and the key has the power to send you home.

OZMA
Before I stop time, you must decide whether to go or to stay with us in Oz.

BILL
I think I’ll stick around and stay a spring chicken forever.

OZMA
Dorothy, if you stay, you’ll always be young and strong.

DOROTHY
NEVER LOSE MY FRECKLES
NEVER CHANGE, NEVER GROW
I’D STAY A CHILD FOREVER
Forever?
I DON’T KNOW.
 82
TIC TOC
What about you, Big Wheeler? Surely you will stay.

OZMA
You will be Sir Uncle Henry, the brave, the resourceful , the official Old of Oz!

DOROTHY
If you stay you’ll never get any older.

UNCLE HENRY
(Sung)
I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO EVERY YEAR
THAT I GET TO SPEND WITH YOU
WHETHER ONE OR TWO OR TWENTY
ALL THE THINGS THAT WE’LL GO THROUGH
YOUR BIRTHDAYS AND REPORT CARDS
GOING FISHING, GETTING TALL
DON’T YOU SEE,
I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT ALL
I’M LOOKING FORWARD

DOROTHY
If you stay, you won’t get sick and you’ll never … die.

UNCLE HENRY
WITHOUT AN END THERE’S NO BEGINNING
I CHERISH MOST WHAT I CAN LOSE
THEY MAY STOP TIME HERE
BUT WE GET TO CHOOSE

BOTH
YES, WE GET TO CHOOSE.

UNCLE HENRY
BEFORE ANYMORE TIME IS LOST
NO MATTER THE COST
I WANT TO SPEND MY TIME WITH YOU

DOROTHY
Oh, Uncle Henry, I do too.

BOTH
TOGETHER
LET’S GO BACK IN TIME.

DOROTHY
Tic Toc, if we choose a time before we arrived here, what will happen?

TIC TOC
Everything will be as if you had never come.
 83
UNCLE HENRY
Where’s my chair?
BILL
Here, it is!
(UNCLE HENRY crosses to his chair and sits.)

ALL
ALL HAIL THE BIG WHEELER!

DOROTHY
Uncle Henry, are you sure?

UNCLE HENRY
Do it fast, Ozma, Time’s a wastin’.

BILL
Ten’hut!
ALL
All Hail the Big Wheeler!
OZMA
Give me the key, Dorothy.
DOROTHY
Tic Toc?
(He nods to her and she hands it to OZMA.)

TIC TOC
Goodbye, my friends, I give you this moment, Forever! Now Ozma, stop time in OZ!

(OZMA and TIC TOC begin a slow spin. There is the

sound of a huge wind. DOROTHY turns UNCLE
HENRY in the chair in a wide circle. BILL and the other
OZ characters spin. The key breaks in half. OZMA and
TIC TOC spin off in opposite directions as the world of
OZ flies apart and whirls away.)

(Elements of the ship fly in and whirl by, and finally the
|MAN whirls on and stands with his back to the
audience)
(DOROTHY and UNCLE HENRY stop spinning at
opposite ends of the stage.)

(They turn and face each other and make the salute of
OZ. They turn upstage and approach the MAN.)

UNCLE HENRY
Excuse us, Sir...

UNCLE HENRY & DOROTHY

Could you tell us the time?

End of Play