Write en Fight The Fog
Write en Fight The Fog
CLARITY
Maria Sundin
English Department
C-essay: Linguistics
Supervisor: Britt Erman
HT-99
Contents
Introduction..............................................................................................................................................3
Aim and scope.........................................................................................................................................3
Material....................................................................................................................................................4
Method.....................................................................................................................................................6
Result and discussion..............................................................................................................................7
I. The plain language movement................................................................................................7
II. The style guides.....................................................................................................................11
III. The texts................................................................................................................................12
Conclusion..........................................................................................................................................17
References............................................................................................................................................19
Appendix................................................................................................................................................20
Introduction
Plain Language is now a worldwide activity. In Europe countries like the United Kingdom and Sweden
have been practising plain language for almost 30 years while other countries like France and Spain
recently have started to revise their legal and government documents in a clearer style. In the EU the
translators primarily from the United Kingdom have started a campaign for plain language in EU-
st
documents. This will probably lead the way into the 21 century.
Aim
My aim is therefore to investigate whether the plain language texts I have looked at also violate the
guidelines they are supposed to follow, and if so I want to discuss the possible reasons why. Perhaps
the maxims are oversimplified and perhaps the writers consider other contextual and rhetorical factors
involved, not just syntactic ones when they make their language choices.
The general aim with this essay is to investigate the similarities and differences between plain
language in the English speaking world and Sweden. In order to fulfil this aim my study is threefold. I
intend to:
• compare the plain language movements in the English speaking world and Sweden,
• compare prominent English and Swedish plain language style guides, and
• analyse English and Swedish plain language texts.
In analysing the plain language texts my main focus is on the following issues:
• to investigate whether the texts written by plain language experts live up to the style guides (and if
they do not, try to discuss some possible reasons why), and
• to find out whether the English and Swedish texts apply the rules in different ways since the
languages do have some typical differences in information structure.
Material
I have studied
• six books, most of them style guides, from the USA, the UK and Sweden: Bailey, Edward P. Jr:
Plain English at Work (1996), Cutts, Martin: The Plain English Guide (1995), Ehrenberg-Sundin,
Barbro et al.: Att skriva bättre i jobbet (English translation: To write better at work) (1999), Sundin,
Håkan: Tänk först – skriv sedan (English translation: Think first – write afterwards ) (1998) and
Wydick, Richard C.: Plain English for lawyers (1994).
• one booklet from the European Commission: Fight the Fog How to Write Clearly (1997)
• three homepages of plain language organisations from the UK and Sweden: Plain English
Campaign, Plain Language Commission and Klarspråksgruppen.
Most style guides advocate active verbs, not passive at the same time as they advocate putting old
information at the beginning of the sentence and new information at the end. I suspect that these two
pieces of advice do not correspond, because if you want to save new information for the end you
frequently have to make the verb passive.
Analysis
Sentence length
When studying sentence length I only analysed full sentences starting with a capital letter and ending
with a full stop. Semicolons and colons have been treated as marks within the sentence.
Voice
When studying the voice my intention was to analyse only full sentences containing a finite verb. I
have only analysed the main clause of all these sentences, i. e. one per sentence, but I soon realised
however that I could not exclude all sentences without a finite verb. En 2 contains as many as 17
sentences without a finite verb, as in ex (1). Since most of them are understood, I counted them as full
sentences.
(1) Technical scenario for introduction of the euro and timetable for changeover to the single
currency in 1999 finalized (end of the process scheduled for 2002). (En 2)
Quite a number of the Swedish sentences in both Sw 1 and Sw 2 did not contain a finite verb, but on
the other hand, they did not even contain the past particle. Instead they used nominalizations to
express what the verb normally would have done, as in ex (2). I therefore excluded them from the
study. Perhaps this use of nominalizations is a strategy typical of Swedish.
(2) Fastställande av den tekniska planen för införandet av euron och tidsplanen för
övergången till den gemensamma valutan som inleds 1999 (hela processen skall vara
avslutad 2002). (Sw 2)
This might be an example of another passive voice strategy. Instead of making the verb into its
passive form, Swedish writers make use of nominalizations. Sw 2 contained several examples of
nominalizations without a finite verb at all. This might of course be a limitation of the study.
Sweden
th
In the 16 century the Swedish king Gustav Vasa issued an order to the authorities to express
themselves in a way that the subjects understood; the sheriffs should use clear Swedish and not
th
German, Danish or Latin. In the 17 century the king Karl XI´s proclamation to use a clear language
resulted in clearly written laws. Karl XII spoke in favour of writing clear Swedish instead of French,
th
which was the fashion. At the beginning of the 20 century authorities tried to break the old fashion of
official jargon of writing long and complicated sentences.
In the 1950s the language professor Erik Wellander wrote an official report about the language in
government reports and suggested changes: to write in clear Swedish, to sift the material and to plan
the texts so that the reader would get the relevant information at the right stage. The texts should be
written in a way a reader with normal apprehension and with a knowledge of the subject should be
able to understand. In the 1960s the Cabinet Office declared that constitutional texts should be
brought closer to the common language’s words and syntax. The thought behind this was to influence
authorities by changing the laws, which serve as a pattern for other government and local authority
texts. The plain Swedish movement had started but changes were slow.
In 1976 the first language expert was employed at the government to develop methods for
improvements. In 1978 a new educational programme was installed at Stockholm university,
”Språkkonsultlinjen”: a two-year-long education to supply Swedish authorities with well-educated
persons to help with the improvements of the official language. Today there are about 180 qualified
Swedish Language Consultants.
In 1980 plain Swedish was written in a law, the administration law (1986:223), where it is stated that
authorities should express themselves in a way that is clear and easy to understand. Since 1980 there
is a team of language experts in the Government Offices who revise texts and encourage all
government officials in the ten ministries and the committees to use plain Swedish. The language
experts are placed in the Ministry of Justice, where they work together with legal advisors at the
Division for Legal and Linguistic Draft Revision.
In 1994, the Swedish government set up the Plain Swedish Group in order to promote clear and
simple language in official documents and to encourage government agencies all over Sweden to start
plain language projects.
(http://www.justitie.regeringen.se/klarsprak/english/english.htm)
The texts
I have chosen to study three different aspects of the style guides here. These are: sentence length,
voice and information structure of the themes.
Sentence length
Most of the Swedish sentences begin with a capital and end with a full stop. The Swedish sentences
are shorter in general. Most of the English sentences begin with a capital letter, but some, including
dotted enumeration, begin with a small letter (here the Swedish text begin with a capital letter) and all
are ended by a full stop, a semicolon or a colon. The English tradition seems to be dividing main
clauses by semicolons and colons more often whereas the Swedish tradition seems to be completely
new sentences. Semicolons are very rare in the Swedish texts.
This does not mean that all the English sentences are longer than the Swedish ones. Instead En 1
contains the shortest average sentence length of all the texts. This might be a sign of conscious
language choice in line with the plain language style guides. Sw 1 also normally contains short
sentences, which might imply the same. The EU-texts (Sw 2 and En 2) both contain longer sentences
in comparison.
Table 1. shows the average sentence length for the four different texts.
Sw 1 Sw 2 En 1 En 2
17.4 19 17.2 22.4
Table 1. The average length of the sentences (by number of words).
According to the style guides the average sentence length should be 15-20 words. The only text that
violates this is En 2.
Voice
According to Cutts every writer should prefer “the active voice unless there´s a good reason for using
the passive. Certainly the active tends to make the writing tighter, more personal, and introduces
action earlier in sentences. The passive tends to do the reverse /.../ “ (Cutts 1995: 48).
Sw 1 Sw 2 En 1 En 2
Active (158) 54% (162) 83% (324) 91% (149) 85%
Passive (136) 46% (33) 17% (34) 9% (27) 15%
Total 294 195 358 176
Table 2. The number of sentences in the active and the passive voice
respectively.
Table 2. shows that the active voice is by far the most favoured in all the texts, but the least so in Sw
1. The reason for this might be that it is a legal text impersonal in its tone. It is very difficult to address
a reader and the norm is probably not to do so at all. The text often refers to other texts and it seems
to be the easiest way out to use the passive voice then; instead of making a document the subject of
the sentence the passive voice is preferred.
The English texts have far more active sentences than the Swedish ones; En 1 containing most
active voice sentences in comparison. This might be a conscious choice of the writer of the text; one
can of course only speculate about the reason. It is interesting to note that this text also is the most
reader-oriented text of them all.
Light themes
Sentences both in English and Swedish are usually arranged so that it is easy for the reader to
process through the text. It is easier if the verb is not kept too far back. A light theme saves most of the
information in the rhematic part of the sentence, which leads to end weight. End weight is much
favoured both in English and Swedish. To create this easy access to the information, writers use
different strategies to make the themes light and move most of the new information into the rhematic
part of the sentence (Bülow-Möller 1989: 154).
Many of the style guides seem to be aware of this and a frequent piece of advice is to use the
passive if for example “you want to position old or known information at the start of the sentence, so
you can put new or surprising information at the end” (Fight the Fog). Of course this strategy also
leads to light themes, as we can see table 3.
Sw 1 3.3
Sw 2 4.3
En 1 4.5
En 2 6
Table 3. Average length of themes (by number of words).
As a comparison I counted all the themes in two of the texts – Sw2 and En 2 – and found the following
information. In average the English text contains 5.3 words per theme and the Swedish text 4.4 words.
This might imply that the passive voice does not in itself lead to light themes – the difference between
the themes in the passive sentences and the themes in the active ones is not significant. According to
Melin and Lange (Melin 1995: 160) the average length of themes in Swedish newspapers is 3.4 in
cultural articles and 3.9 in editorials. The themes of Sw 1 must then be regarded as very short since
the legal language must be regarded as even more formal than newspaper editorials and therefore
should be expected to contain longer themes. Perhaps this is a conscious choice of the language
experts who checked it.
A conclusion seems to be that light themes might be a reason for choosing the passive voice in Sw
1, but not so in the other three texts.
The great majority of the themes are subjects and most of them nouns, the rest are adverbials. There
is an interesting difference between the languages here. English favours subjects more than Swedish.
In my study I found that the two English texts contained between 89% and 91% subjects in theme
position whereas the two Swedish texts contained between 70% and 76% subjects. On the other
hand, Swedish has more possibilities for moving the constituents in the themes and thus favours
adverbials more than English. The Swedish texts contained between 24% and 30% adverbials
whereas the English texts contained between 9% and 11% adverbials. This can be seen in table 4.
(3) The name ´euro´ adopted for the single currency. (En 2)
This is probably a predominant reason why Sw 1 has such a high score of passive voice sentences.
(5) När det gäller de övriga konvergenskriterierna har situationen förbättrats betydligt de
senaste åren, särskilt avseende inflationen, som nu ligger på en historiskt sett rekordlåg nivå
(2,7 % för hela unionen 1996), och de långfristiga räntorna. (Sw 2)
(6) The situation as regards the other convergence criteria has improved considerably in
recent years, especially for inflation, which has hit record lows (2.7% for the Union as a
whole in 1996), and for long-term interest rates. (En 2)
Linked 44 0 9 15 68 51%
Unlinked 41 2 0 25 65 49%
Total 85 2 9 40 134
Table 5. Themes in Sw 1.
Subject Adverbial Total Percentage
Noun Pronoun
Linked 16 1 2 19 58%
Unlinked 8 0 6 14 0%
Total 24 1 8 33
Table 6. Themes in Sw 2.
The English texts show a remarkably higher score of linked themes compared to the Swedish ones;
there is a difference of more than 20%. Again En 1 reaches the highest score of linked themes;
something which might imply a conscious choice of the writer in order to make the text more
accessible to the reader.
The Swedish texts only have a slight majority of linked themes. Sw 1 shows a considerably high
amount of unlinked themes compared to the other texts; a reason for this may again be the text type.
The legal text is not as reader oriented as the other texts. It also contains heavily packed information,
i.e. it introduces new information in almost every sentence, something which might make linking more
difficult.
Different languages do not have the same possibilities for moving elements about in the sentence in
order to make use of those strategies. (Bülow-Möller 1989: 159). English and Swedish use almost the
same strategies, but Swedish seems to have somewhat more possibilities for moving the constituents.
This can be seen in the high frequency of adverbs in the Swedish themes where the English themes
favours nouns and pronouns. Another difference between the languages might be the linking of
themes. Perhaps linking is more frequent and important in English than in Swedish.
Conclusion
My aim for this study was threefold. First I wanted to make a general comparison of the plain language
movements of the USA, the UK and Sweden and of their style guides. Then I wanted to be more
specific and investigate whether the plain language texts and the EU-texts violated the guide lines
common of all the countries. I was especially interested in the texts written or checked by plain
language experts of course.
I found mostly similarities in my comparison both of the plain language movements in the different
countries and of the style guides. This was very surprising since the countries do have different
historical backgrounds and different languages with different information structure. Some differences
have been found and discussed, but the predominant conclusion is that the similarities prevail.
The most difficult question is the last one: do the texts violate the style guides? Or, as Cutts puts it
“Is the style appropriate for the audience, with a good average sentence length /and/ plenty of active
voice verbs”? I would say that the four texts in the study do not violate the style guides in any striking
way, and have, thus, chosen an appropriate style according to Cutts. The average sentence length is
within the recommended limits and there are plenty of active verbs.
On the other hand, the passive voice is quite common in all the texts (with some individual variation,
probably mainly because of the different text types). And the reason for this is that it helps the writers
use an information structure of the themes which probably helps the readers in their turn to navigate
more easily through the text.
A hypothesis for this study was that, since most style guides advocate active verbs, not passive, at
the same time as they advocate putting old information at the start of the sentence and new and
surprising information at the end, I would find a clash here. I suspected that these two pieces of advice
did not correspond, because if you want to keep new information for the end you often have to make
the verb passive. I might have been able to prove this hypothesis in this study; linking is definitively a
stronger incentive for the passive voice than the other reasons that I investigated in the study: light
themes, invisible agents and fronting for emphasis.
This study has hence shown that one major reason for using the passive voice is to link
the theme with rhemes preceding it. Perhaps this linking strategy is a more important tool than using
the active voice, in order to help the reader through the text. I think this is something many of the style
guides fail to mention.
An interesting find was that the number of linked themes were strikingly more frequent
in the English texts. This might be the result of a conscious choice of information strategy by the
writers but it might also be a sign of a special quality favoured in English, i. e. a difference between
English and Swedish. This is not possible to tell from a small study like this one, but it would be
interesting to investigate further. If English texts in general are better linked than Swedish texts, this
might explain why the English style guides do not stress linking as an important writing device. But on
the other hand, it does not explain why Swedish style guides do not stress it more.
I have not found other studies on this topic, except for the American study at the University of
Pittsburg.
The material I used had great limitations especially concerning the different text types. If I were to do
this again I would compare texts that all were informative, intended for the public and adjusted to them
written by plain language experts. As complementary texts I would use the same text types intended
for the public but not written by plain language experts. In that way I would see more clearly how
consciously the plain language experts worked with different language choices in order to make the
texts more reader oriented. It would also become clearer whether they violated the style guides or not.
Nevertheless, the result I have found is interesting and it would be even more interesting to
investigate it further. There are probably other violations of other guidelines and there are probably
interesting reasons why. I believe critical studies of this kind are important for the development of plain
language and for all the plain language experts working and participating in the practical language
work in offices all over the world. Only copying style recommendations without careful and critical
consideration is dangerous, and it does not make texts better.
This may even become dangerous, as automatic computer programmes obviously are influenced by
guidelines advocating active voice on behalf of passive voice. The grammar check in Word 97 corrects
“ungrammatical sentences”, i.e. sentences in the passive voice, to “grammatically correct sentences”,
i.e. sentences in the active voice. From my essay a sentence such as The first plain English insurance
policy was produced by General Accident Fire and Life Assurance Corporation was corrected into
General Accident Fire and Life Assurance Corporation produced the first plain English insurance
policy. Had I not been so stubbornly determined to keep the passive voice I would probably have
yielded to the computer expertise and changed the sentence, which would have resulted in lost linking
and emphasis.
References
Adler, Mark, founder of Clarity (telephone interview on 8 November 1999)
Bailey, Edward P. Jr: Plain English at Work (Oxford University Press, New York, Oxford, 1996)
Cutts Martin: The Plain English Guide (Oxford University Press, Oxford, New York, 1995)
Cutts Martin, founder of Plain Language Committee (e-mail interview on 23 November 1999)
Ehrenberg-Sundin, Barbro m.fl: Att skriva bättre i jobbet (Norstedts Juridik AB, Stockholm, 1999)
How to Write Clearly by Fight the Fog (European Commission, Luxenbourg, 1997)
Melin , Lars och Lange, Sven: Att analysera text (Studentlitteratur, Lund, 1995)
Sundin, Håkan och Ehrenberg-Sundin, Barbro: Tänk först – skriv sedan. Effektivare rapporter och PM
(Effektiv Kommunikation AB, Stockholm, 1998)
Steinberg , Erwin R.(ed.): Plain Language. Principles and Practice (Wayne State University Press,
Detroit, 1991)
Wagner, Emma, one of the founders of Fight the Fog (e-mail interview on 16 November 1999)
Wydick, Richard C.: Plain English for lawyers (Carolina Academic Press, Durham, North Carolina,
1994)