10 Life Skills to Teach Your

Child by Age 10
Your child is more capable than you realize. Even your preschooler can begin to learn these
essential life lessons.
Michelle Crouch
May 31, 2016
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PRISCILLA GRAGG
With so much for our children to learn in today’s high-tech world, it’s all too easy
for them to miss out on practical life skills, whether it’s running a load of wash,
reading a map, or handwriting a letter. A recent study by the online security
company AVG Technologies found that while 58 percent of 3- to 5-year-olds in
the U.S. can navigate a smartphone, fewer than one out of six (15 percent) could
make their own breakfast. “I see many parents doing everything for their kids
instead of letting them figure out how to fend for themselves,” says Tim Elmore,
founder of Growing Leaders, a nonprofit in Norcross, Georgia, that works with
schools and civic groups to promote leadership qualities in children. Start
teaching these life skills now, and put your kid on the path toward independence.

 RELATED: 6 Silly Life Skills to Teach Your Kids

1. Doing the Laundry

Too many teens head to college with no clue how to clean their clothes. Don’t let
your kid become one of them. You can begin teaching your child when she is
around 6. If you have a top-loading washer, keep a step stool nearby. Walk her
through the process—how to measure and add the detergent, choose the
settings, and start the machine. Amy Mascott, who blogs at TeachMama.com,
taught her three kids (now 9, 10, and 12). She chose cute names for jobs: Wash
Warrior, Super-Fly Dry Guy, Put ’Em Away Triple Play. Mascott says there have
been snafus, like the time a whole load was folded and put away damp. “But I’m
not aiming for perfection. I’m aiming for them to get the job done,” she says.

2. Planting a Seedling
Lots of preschoolers learn to plant seeds in class but not how to transfer sprouts
into a garden. Whitney Cohen, coauthor of The Book of Gardening Projects for
Kids, shares the basics.

 Ask your child to dig a hole that’s slightly larger than the container the plant
is in.
 Once you remove the plant from the pot and place it in the hole, have her
delicately push soil around it and pat it down.
  Let your child water it with a gentle stream from a watering can with a
perforated nozzle.
 By age 6 or 7, your child can remove a seedling himself. Have him split two
fingers apart so the stem of the plant goes between them, then squeeze the
outside of the container until the plant comes out. If the roots are wound
tightly, he should loosen them a few at a time before planting.

3. Wrapping a Gift
Your child already loves giving presents, and wrapping them makes it even more
satisfying. Preschoolers can help cut the paper and stick on the tape, while
kindergartners can complete additional steps with your help, like removing the
price tag, finding the right size box, and wrapping paper all the way around the
gift to make sure it fits before cutting it.

4. Hammering a Nail
 Give your child a 7- or 9-ounce hammer. Home-improvement stores sell kids’
models as light as 4 ounces, but with those it’s harder to pound a nail.
 Use a piece of soft wood (such as pine, poplar, or cedar). You can hold it in
place with clamps or a vise, or simply place it on the ground.
 Pick nails with a wide head. At first you’ll have to “start” each one for him.
 When your child is ready to do it himself, you can push a nail thr ough a small
piece of cardboard so it’s held in place as he hammers it into the wood. Make
sure your child holds the edge of the cardboard instead of the nail (to protect
his fingers).
 Once he’s mastered that method, have him try holding the nail. Be prepa red
for a sore thumb or two, but before long he’ll get the hang of it.

5. Writing a Letter
Toddlers can dictate a letter to a family member (enhanced with drawings),
attach the stamp, and drop it into a mailbox. Teach an older child how to address
an envelope and the five parts of a letter: date, greeting (“Dear…”), body, closing
(“Sincerely”), and signature. You can also have them help with holiday cards,
find a pen pal (sites such as Amazing Kids and International Pen Friends can
help), or correspond with POTUS by having them address a letter to The White
House, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington DC 20500.

6. Preparing a Simple Meal

Invite your child to help make meals, assign him jobs to do, and stay calm when
the flour spills and the eggshells fly, says Christina Dymock, a mom of four and
author of Young Chefs. Yogurt with fruit is a good first DIY breakfast.
Preschoolers can spoon yogurt into a bowl and add prewashed cut-up fruit. Work
with kids 5 and older on making sandwiches and smoothies (monitor the blender
closely). Around age 7 or 8, your kid can try toaster-oven faves like English-
muffin pizza, or make a simple salad by ripping lettuce, dumping in croutons, and
cutting up tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots. By age 10, kids can use the
stovetop with supervision for a grilled-cheese sandwich. Focus on safety and
practice, and you might just have a MasterChef Junior on your hands.

7. Navigating
If you’ve ever gotten lost following a GPS’s turn-by-turn voice directions, you
know why being able to read a map is essential (even if it’s one on your phone).
These activities will build your child’s navigational skills.

 Hunt for treasure. Maps seem boring…until you use them to look for booty.
Hide toys in your yard and then draw a simple sketch to mark their location.
Show your 3- or 4-year-old how objects on the map correspond to those in
front of her.
 Have her lead the way. Zoos, museums, and theme parks have colorful,
easy-to-read maps. Ask your preschooler to track her path, and challenge an
older kid to get you from point A to point B.
 Take up geocaching. Kids ages 5 and up love this outdoor treasurehunt
game, which uses GPS tracking to find containers filled with trinkets. Learn
more at geocaching.com.
8. Treating a Wound
Teach your child from a young age not to freak out when he sees blood (and
don’t overreact yourself). Giving him a game plan will distract him from the pain
and come in handy when you’re not around to kiss his boo-boos: Apply pressure
until the bleeding stops, rise the cut with water, dab on some antibiotic ointment,
then apply a bandage.

 RELATED: Fast First Aid Tips for 6 Common Accidents!

9. Cleaning the Bathroom

Keep rags or a sponge handy for wiping toothpaste blobs off the sink. Toilet
duties require greater skill. School-age kids can clean the lid, seat, and base
with a disinfecting wipe. Make sure they wash their hands thoroughly afterward.
Big kids can scrub the bowl with a nontoxic cleaner: Sprinkle the sides wi th
baking soda, let it sit for a few minutes, pour in some vinegar, then scrub with
a toilet brush.

10. Comparison Shopping

Teaching kids to be smart consumers takes practice. This three-step approach
worked for our family:

 Explain as you go. Mention prices out loud and talk about your choices: “I’m
getting gas at the other station because it costs 10 cents less per gallon.” I
tell my kids about some things I’d like to have (Lululemon yoga pants,
anyone?) but don’t buy because they’re not in our budget.
 Let your kid pay sometimes. Give him an allowance, and then designate
items he is responsible for purchasing. My husband and I don’t buy any
sweets. That’s forced our kids to become savvy shoppers. When the ice pops
at our local pool began putting a dent in their cash flow, they pooled their
money and bought a box of 12 to keep in the freezer.
 Play the grocery game. At the supermarket, challenge your kid to find the
least expensive brand of paper towels or tomato sauce.
 Michelle Crouch

PARENTS MAGAZINE

5 Values You Should Teach

Your Child by Age Five
Many parents think that it's premature to teach values to a toddler or preschooler. But that's a
misconception. Here are the values that all children should develop by their fifth birthday, and
some easy ways to make them stick.
October 05, 2005
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Value #1: Honesty

Help Kids Find a Way To Tell the Truth

The best way to encourage truthfulness in your child is to be a truthful person

yourself. Consider this story: Carol decided to limit the number of playdates
between her 3-year-old son, Chris, and his friend Paul. The boys had been
fighting a lot recently, and Carol thought they should spend some time apart. So
when Paul's mother called one afternoon to arrange a get-together, Carol told
her that Chris was sick.

Overhearing this, her son asked, "Am I sick, Mommy? What's wrong with me?"
Carol, taken aback by her son's frightened look, told him she had only said he
was sick, because she didn't want to hurt Paul's mother's feelings. Carol then
launched into a complicated explanation of the distinctions between the various
types of lies, and Chris was confused. All he understood was that fibbing is
sometimes okay-and that, in fact, it's what people do.

Your child takes his cues from you, so it's important that you try to avoid any
kind of deception, even a seemingly innocuous one. (Never, for instance, say
something like "Let's not tell Daddy we got candy this afternoon.") Let your child
hear you being truthful with other adults. Carol would have been better off
saying, "This isn't a good day for a playdate. I'm concerned that the boys were
fighting so much last week. I think they need a break."

Another way to promote the value of honesty: Don't overreact if your child lies to
you. Instead, help her find a way to tell the truth. When the mother of 4 -year-old
Janice walked into the family room one afternoon, she saw that her large potted
plant had been toppled and that several branches had been snapped off. She
knew right away what had happened: Once before, she had seen Janice making
her Barbie dolls "climb the trees," and she'd told her daughter at the time that th e
plants were off-limits. When Mom demanded an explanation, a guilty-looking
Janice blamed the family dog.

Janice's mom reacted sensibly: She interrupted her child's story and said,
"Janice, I promise I won't yell. Think about it for a minute, and then tel l me what
really happened." After a moment, the child owned up to her misdeed. As a
consequence, Janice had to help clean up the mess and was not allowed to
watch television that afternoon, but her mom made sure to emphasize how much
she appreciated her daughter's honesty. In doing so, she taught the child an
important lesson: Even if being honest isn't always easy or comfortable, you -and
other people-always feel better if you tell the truth.

Value #2: Justice

Insist That Children Make Amends

At a recent family gathering, Amy and Marcus, 4-year-old cousins, were making
castles out of wooden blocks. Suddenly, Amy knocked over Marcus's castle, and
he started to cry. Witnessing the scene, Amy's father chided his daughter and
ordered her to apologize. Amy dutifully said, "I'm sorry."

Then her dad took her aside and asked, "Do you know why you pushed over his
blocks?" She told him that she was mad because Marcus's castle was bigger
than hers. The dad told her that though this was no excuse for destroying her
cousin's castle, he could understand her feelings. He then sent her back to play.
The father's reaction was similar to that of many psychologically savvy parents:
He wanted his daughter to identify and express her feelings and to understand
why she behaved as she did. That's okay, but it isn't enough. In order to help
children internalize a true sense of justice, parents need to encourage the m to
take some action to remedy a wrong. For example, Amy's dad might have
suggested that she help Marcus rebuild his castle or that she bring him some
cookies as a gesture of apology.

Saying "I'm sorry" is pretty easy for a child, and it lets her off the hook without
forcing her to think. Having a child make amends in a proactive way conveys a
much stronger message. If you're aware that your child has acted badly toward
someone, help him think of a way to compensate. Maybe he can give one of his
trucks to a playmate whose toy he has damaged. Perhaps he could draw a
picture for his sister after teasing her all day. By encouraging your child to make
such gestures, you emphasize the importance of treating people fairly-an
essential value that will one day help him negotiate the complicated world of
peer-group relationships.

Value #3: Determination

Encourage Them To Take on a Challenge

Five-year-old Jake showed his mother a drawing that he'd made with his new
crayons. "That's very bright and colorful," she told him. "Nice job!" The child then
ran to his room and dashed off another drawing to bring to his mom for praise -
then another and another.

"Each one was sloppier than the last," his mother said. "I didn't know what to
say." A good response might have been: "Well, Jake, that drawing isn't as
carefully done as your other one. Did you try your best on that?"

Determination is a value that you can encourage from a very young age. The
easiest way to do so is by avoiding excessive praise and by providing children
with honest feedback, delivered in a gentle, supportive fashion.
Another powerful way to help kids develop determination is to encourage them to
do things that don't come easily-and to praise them for their initiative.If your son
is shy, for instance, quietly encourage him to approach kids on the playground,
even if it makes him feel nervous and scared. If your daughter is quick to blow a
fuse, teach her strategies (such as counting to ten or taking a deep breath) for
holding back a temper tantrum. Congratulate kids when they manage to do
things that are difficult for them. The child who hears "Good for you, I know that
was really tough!" is bolstered by the recognition and becomes even more
determined to keep trying.

Value #4: Consideration

Teach Them To Think about Others' Feelings

Anne was frustrated because her daughters, ages 3 and 4, ended up whining
and fighting every time she took them grocery shopping. "I finally told them that
we needed to figure out how to do our shopping without everyone, including m e,
feeling upset," Anne says.

The mom asked the girls for suggestions on how to make the trip to the grocery
store a better experience for all. The 4-year-old suggested that they bring snacks
from home so they wouldn't nag for cookies. The 3-year-old said she would sing
quietly to herself so she would feel happy.

The girls remembered their promises, and the next trip to the supermarket went
much more smoothly. Leaving the store, the younger girl asked, "Do you feel
really upset now, Mommy?" The mother assured her that she felt just fine and
remarked how nice it was that nobody got into an argument.

Do these small problem-solving exercises actually help a child learn the value of
consideration? You bet. Over time, even a young child sees that words or
actions can make another person smile or feel better, and that when she's kind
to someone else, that person is nice to her. This feedback encourages other
genuine acts of consideration.
Value #5: Love
Be Generous with Your Affection

Parents tend to think that children are naturally loving and generous with their
affection. This is true, but for loving sentiments to last, they need to be
reciprocated. It's chilling to realize that over the course of a typical busy day, the
phrase "I love you" is probably the one that a child is least likely to hear.

Let your child see you demonstrate your love and affection for the people in your
life. Kiss and hug your spouse when the kids are around. Talk to your children
about how much you love and appreciate their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and
cousins.

And, of course, don't let a day pass without expressing your affection for your
child himself. Show your love in unexpected ways: Pack a note in his lunch box.
Tape a heart to the bathroom mirror so he'll see it when he brushes his teeth.
Give her a hug-for no reason. Don't allow frantic morning drop-offs or frenetic
afternoon routines squeeze loving gestures out of your day.

I can practically guarantee you that the more you say "I love you" to your child,
the more your child will say "I love you" back. The more hugs and kisses you
give, the more your home will be filled with love and affection. And when our
children feel free to express their love to us, we instill in them perhaps the
greatest value of all.
PARENTS MAGAZINE
50 Easy Ways to Be a
Fantastic Parent
We've gathered our all-time favorite nuggets of advice from our board of advisors in one
outstanding article that will have a profound effect on your whole family.
Barrie Gillies
June 11, 2015
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HEATHER WESTON

Set Smart Limits

Take charge. Children crave limits, which help them understand and manage an
often confusing world. Show your love by setting boundaries so your kids can
explore and discover their passions safely.

Don't clip your child's wings. Your toddler's mission in life is to gain
independence. So when she's developmentally capable of putting her toys away,
clearing her plate from the table, and dressing herself, let her. Giving a child
responsibility is good for her self-esteem (and your sanity!).

Don't try to fix everything. Give young kids a chance to find their own
solutions. When you lovingly acknowledge a child's minor frustrations without
immediately rushing in to save her, you teach her self-reliance and resilience.

Remember that discipline is not punishment. Enforcing limits is really about

teaching kids how to behave in the world and helping them to become
competent, caring, and in control.

Pick your battles. Kids can't absorb too many rules without turning off
completely. Forget arguing about little stuff like fashion choices and occasional
potty language. Focus on the things that really matter -- that means no hitting,
rude talk, or lying.

 Related: The Real Joys of Being a Mom

Parenting Style: Positive Parenting

Positive, or authoritative, parents value mutual respect and being a good listener.
Play Video

Create Your Own Quality Time

Play with your children. Let them choose the activity, and don't worry about
rules. Just go with the flow and have fun. That's the name of the game.

Read books together every day. Get started when he's a newborn; babies love
listening to the sound of their parents' voices. Cuddling up with your child and a
book is a great bonding experience that will set him up for a lifetime of reading.
Schedule daily special time. Let your child choose an activity where you hang
out together for 10 or 15 minutes with no interruptions. There's no better way for
you to show your love.

Encourage daddy time. The greatest untapped resource available for improving
the lives of our children is time with Dad -- early and often. Kids with engaged
fathers do better in school, problem-solve more successfully, and generally cope
better with whatever life throws at them.

Make warm memories. Your children will probably not remember anything that
you say to them, but they will recall the family rituals -- like bedtimes and game
night -- that you do together.

 Related: The Real Joys of Being a Mom

It Worked For Me: Parent Hacks

Not ready to throw away your kids' clothes or uncertain what to do with an unwanted crib bumper? These
innovative parent hacks can give your kids' items a whole new life.
Play Video

Be a Good Role Model

Be the role model your children deserve. Kids learn by watching their parents.
Modeling appropriate, respectful, good behavior works much better than telling
them what to do.

Fess up when you blow it. This is the best way to show your child how and
when she should apologize.

Live a little greener. Show your kids how easy it is to care for the environment.
Waste less, recycle, reuse, and conserve each day. Spend an afternoon picking
up trash around the neighborhood.

Always tell the truth. It's how you want your child to behave, right?

Kiss and hug your spouse in front of the kids. Your marriage is the only
example your child has of what an intimate relationship looks, feels, and sounds
like. So it's your job to set a great standard.
Respect parenting differences. Support your spouse's basic approach to
raising kids -- unless it's way out of line. Criticizing or arguing with your partner
will do more harm to your marriage and your child's sense of security than if you
accept standards that are different from your own.

 Related: The Real Joys of Being a Mom

Know the Best Ways to Praise

Give appropriate praise. Instead of simply saying, "You're great," try to be
specific about what your child did to deserve the positive feedback. You might
say, "Waiting until I was off the phone to ask for cookies was hard, and I rea lly
liked your patience."

Cheer the good stuff. When you notice your child doing something helpful or
nice, let him know how you feel. It's a great way to reinforce good behavior so
he's more likely to keep doing it.

Gossip about your kids. Fact: What we overhear is far more potent than what
we are told directly. Make praise more effective by letting your child "catch" you
whispering a compliment about him to Grandma, Dad, or even his teddy.

 Related: The Real Joys of Being a Mom

Trust Yourself
Give yourself a break. Hitting the drive-through when you're too tired to cook
doesn't make you a bad parent.

Trust your mommy gut. No one knows your child better than you. Follow your
instincts when it comes to his health and well-being. If you think something's
wrong, chances are you're right.
Just say "No." Resist the urge to take on extra obligations at the office or
become the Volunteer Queen at your child's school. You will never, ever regret
spending more time with your children.

Don't accept disrespect from your child. Never allow her to be rude or say
hurtful things to you or anyone else. If she does, tell her firmly that you will not
tolerate any form of disrespect.

Pass along your plan. Mobilize the other caregivers in your child's life -- your
spouse, grandparents, daycare worker, babysitter -- to help reinforce the values
and the behavior you want to instill. This includes everything from saying thank
you and being kind to not whining.

 Related: The Real Joys of Being a Mom

Don't Forget to Teach Social Skills

Ask your children three "you" questions every day. The art of conversation is
an important social skill, but parents often neglect to teach it. Get a kid going
with questions like, "Did you have fun at school?"; "What did you do at the party
you went to?"; or "Where do you want to go tomorrow afternoon?"

Teach kids this bravery trick. Tell them to always notice the color of a person's
eyes. Making eye contact will help a hesitant child appear more confident and
will help any kid to be more assertive and less likely to be picked on.

Acknowledge your kid's strong emotions. When your child's meltdown is over,
ask him, "How did that feel?" and "What do you think would make it better?"
Then listen to him. He'll recover from a tantrum more easily if you let him talk it
out.

 Related: The Real Joys of Being a Mom

Raise Grateful Kids

Show your child how to become a responsible citizen. Find ways to help
others all year. Kids gain a sense of self-worth by volunteering in the community.

Don't raise a spoiled kid. Keep this thought in mind: Every child is a treasure,
but no child is the center of the universe. Teach him accordingly.

Talk about what it means to be a good person. Start early: When you read
bedtime stories, for example, ask your toddler whether characters are being
mean or nice and explore why.

Explain to your kids why values are important. The simple answer: When
you're kind, generous, honest, and respectful, you make the people around you
feel good. More important, you feel good about yourself.

Set up a "gratitude circle" every night at dinner. Go around the table and take
turns talking about the various people who were generous and kind to each of
you that day. It may sound corny, but it makes everyone feel good.

 Related: The Real Joys of Being a Mom

Don't Stress About Dinner

Serve a food again and again. If your child rejects a new dish, don't give up
hope. You may have to offer it another six, eight, or even 10 times before he
eats it and decides he likes it.

Avoid food fights. A healthy child instinctively knows how much to eat. If he
refuses to finish whatever food is on his plate, just let it go. He won't starve.

Eat at least one meal as a family each day. Sitting down at the table together
is a relaxed way for everyone to connect -- a time to share happy news, talk
about the day, or tell a silly joke. It also helps your kids develop healthy eating
habits.

Let your kids place an order. Once a week, allow your children to choose
what's for dinner and cook it for them.
  Related: The Real Joys of Being a Mom

Always Say "I Love You"

Love your children equally, but treat them uniquely. They're individuals.

Say "I love you" whenever you feel it, even if it's 743 times a day. You
simply can not spoil a child with too many mushy words of affection and too
many smooches. Not possible.

Keep in mind what grandmoms always say. Children are not yours, they are
only lent to you for a time. In those fleeting years, do your best to help them
grow up to be good people.

Savor the moments. Yes, parenthood is the most exhausting job on the planet.
Yes, your house is a mess, the laundry's piled up, and the dog needs to be
walked. But your kid just laughed. Enjoy it now -- it will be over far too fast.

 Related: The Real Joys of Being a Mom

Boost Brainpower & Physical Activity

Teach your baby to sign. Just because a child can't talk doesn't mean there
isn't lots that she'd like to say. Simple signs can help you know what she needs
and even how she feels well before she has the words to tell you -- a great way
to reduce frustration.

Keep the tube in the family room. Research has repeatedly shown that
children with a TV in their bedroom weigh more, sleep less, and have lower
grades and poorer social skills. P.S. Parents with a television in their bedroom
have sex less often.

Get kids moving. The latest research shows that brain development in young
children may be linked to their activity level. Place your baby on her tummy
 several times during the day, let your toddler walk instead of ride in her stroller,
and create opportunities for your older child to get plenty of exercise.

 Related: The Real Joys of Being a Mom

Health Advice All Parents Should Follow

Get your kids vaccinated. Outbreaks of measles and other diseases still occur
in our country and throughout the world.

Protect that smile. Encouraging your kid to brush twice a day with a dab of
fluoride toothpaste will guard against cavities.

Be vigilant about safety. Babyproof your home thoroughly, and never leave
a child under 5 in the tub alone. Make sure car seats are installed correctly, and
insist that your child wear a helmet when riding his bike or scooter.

Listen to the doc. If your pediatrician thinks your kid's fever is caused by a
virus, don't push for antibiotics. The best medicine may be rest, lots of fluids, and
a little TLC. Overprescribing antibiotics can cause medical problems for your
child and increase the chances of creating superbugs that resist treatment.

Keep sunblock next to your kid's toothpaste. Apply it every day as part of the
morning routine. It'll become as natural as brushing her teeth.

Put your baby to bed drowsy but still awake. This helps your child learn to
soothe himself to sleep and prevents bedtime problems down the line.

Know when to toilet train. Look for these two signs that your child is ready to
use the potty: He senses the urge to pee and poop (this is different from knowing
that he's already gone), and he asks for a diaper change.

 Related: The Real Joys of Being a Mom

 Barrie Gillies

PARENTS MAGAZINE
Just Say No
Kids ask for so much -- and it's tempting to give in to keep the peace. But a good parent has to
be the bad guy sometimes.
the editors of Parents magazine
September 05, 2007
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The Importance of "NO"

If you had a dollar for every time your child has asked for something, you'd have
enough money to fund a presidential campaign, right? We all hate to see our
kids unhappy (or spiraling into a major meltdown), so all too often we take the
path of least resistance and give in. But the truth is, you'll do your child a big
favor by saying "no" more frequently. "Saying no teaches children important
lessons -- how to deal with disappointment, how to argue, how to prioritize, and
how to strike a balance between work and play -- which are essential
experiences that aren't always taught in school," says social psychologist Susan
Newman, PhD, author of The Book of NO: 250 Ways to Say It -- and Mean It --
and Stop People-Pleasing Forever. "Kids who understand that they can't always
have their way will be more likely to be successful in school, relationships, and
their careers." Here are nine situations in which Dr. Newman says you should
stand firm -- and how to plan your defense.

Related Feature:

 Healthy Shortcuts That Really Work

Can I Please Have It?

The Supermarket Sweet Tooth

At the checkout, your child grabs her favorite candy bar off the rack, holds it up
with that pleading look on her face, and reminds you that she did all her chores.
Why you should refuse: You're training her to eat well and establish good
nutrition habits for life. Sticking to a no-candy policy at the supermarket helps put
her on a healthier path.

How to say no:

 "You know we don't buy candy every time we go to the store."

 "No, put it back."

Typical kid comeback:

 "I'll buy the candy with my own money."

Smart parent responses:

 "Sorry. My job is to make sure you stay healthy. I have all sorts of treats in
our cart."
 "No means no."

The Must-Have Item

Your son's friend just got a video iPod, and your child wants one too.

Why you should refuse: This is a key opportunity to reinforce your family's
values and help your child realize that money doesn't grow on trees. Saying no is
a lesson in how the world works: You can't always get what you want.

How to say no:

 "Wow, that's a pretty big gift and it's not even his birthday. Do you know how
much it costs?"

Typical kid comeback:

 "We can afford it."

Smart parent responses:

  "We could use that money to help pay for a vacation or to fix our deck so we
can all have fun outside."
 "If you had a video iPod, you'd watch too much TV."

The Dog You'll Be Walking

"I want a dog" is a refrain that lingers in households for years. Your child
promises she'll take care of it, and, in theory, she means what she says: "I'll walk
him, brush him, and feed him."

Why you should refuse: Don't agree unless you'd really like a dog yourself,
because you'll be doing 95 percent of the work -- including the last walk at night
after your child's in bed.

How to say no:

 "I understand you really want a dog, but no."

 "What have you done to help around the house without my asking that shows
me you're ready to take care of a dog?"

Typical kid comeback:

 "Please! I promise I'll feed him every day."

Smart parent responses:

 "Since Daddy and I both work, a dog would be home alone too much."
 "We can talk about this again next year when you're older."

Related Feature:

 Healthy Shortcuts That Really Work

Losing Sleep
The Bedtime Stall
Your son took forever to get ready for bed. He wanted a drink of water,
remembered something he needed to put in his backpack, and then insisted he
had to show you something. Once he's finally settled down, he wants you to read
him an extra book.

Why you should refuse: Procrastination like this can become a nightly
nightmare. Not only does it eat into storytime, but it can reduce the amount of
sleep your child gets (and the time you have to yourself at the end of the day).

How to say no:

 "That's enough, lights out. Mommy's tired too."

Typical kid comeback:

 "But you said you'd read me three books tonight."

Smart parent responses:

 "Yes, I did, but you took too long to get ready."

 "We would have time if you started getting ready for bed earlier, but that will
take away from your playtime."

The Sleepover

Your daughter's best friend invites her to sleep over on Saturday when you have
early plans for Sunday. Your daughter begs you to say yes and promises they'll
go to bed early.

Why you should refuse: You know that she'll be cranky on Sunday -- as she
has been after most sleepovers.

How to say no:

 "Not this time, honey."

Typical kid comeback:

  "That's what you always say."

Smart parent responses:

 "When you're a mom, you'll be able to make the decisions."

 "No. Sleepovers only work if you sleep late the next day."

The Late Show

It's a Friday night, and your child has been watching TV for too long when she
sees the promo for the next program and begs, "Mom, just one more show and
then I'll go to bed."

Why you should refuse: There will always be another show your child wants to
watch. If you give in, next time she'll say, "You let me stay up last time." Kids
need rules and structure, and it's your job to provide them.

How to say no:

 "That last show was your extra one."

Typical kid comeback:

 "But all my friends are staying up to watch it."

Smart parent responses:

 "I'll record it for you, and you can watch it tomorrow."

 "You have a big day tomorrow. You won't have as much fun if you're tired."

Related Feature:

 Healthy Shortcuts That Really Work

Setting Limits
The Homework Hassle

You've asked your child to do his homework right after school, but he wants to
play outside with his friend instead.

Why you should refuse: You know he gets tired and has a hard time focusing
on his work if he doesn't start until after dinner.

How to say no:

 "No, you'll have to do your homework first."

Typical kid comeback:

 "Then there won't be any time left before dark -- and I have hardly any work."

Smart parent responses:

 "If you stop arguing and just do it, you'll have plenty of time to play."
 "Homework is your job in the family, and it has to come first."

The Younger-Sibling Syndrome

Your older son is allowed to ride his bike to the store or a friend's house, and
your younger son wants to do the same things as his older brother.

Why you should refuse: Even if he thinks you're being too strict, you need to
focus on his safety first.

How to say no:

 "No, you're too young."

Typical kid comeback:

 "It's not fair. You treat me like a baby."

Smart parent responses:

 "When you're older, you can go by yourself on your bike."

 "I know you think I'm being unfair, but I'll worry too much."

Related Feature:

 Healthy Shortcuts That Really Work

Crowd Control
The Oversize Birthday Party

Your 5-year-old wants to invite her entire class to her birthday party, including
some kids she doesn't even like.

Why you should refuse: Although she may want to get lots of gifts, large
parties are overwhelming for most young kids.

How to say no:

 "Let's talk about who are your closest friends."

 "How about we invite just the girls?"

Typical kid comeback:

 "Everybody else invites the whole class."

Smart parent responses:

 "It's not always a good idea to do what everyone else does."

 "I can't watch all those children and make sure everyone's having a good
time."

Related Feature:

 Healthy Shortcuts That Really Work

 the editors of Parents magazine

PARENTS MAGAZINE
18 Essential Life Skills To Equip Your Child For The Real World

 By Meera Vasudev

Child Development

Have you ever wondered how independent your child actually is? Will your child
be able to look after themselves if left alone for a while? Do you think your child
is well-equipped with essential life skills to face the world?

Think about it!

It’s absolutely important for children to learn more than just academically.

And no, enrolling them in various activity classes isn’t enough either.

But don’t worry, we’ll tell you what these important skills are & how to teach
them to your child!

If your child can’t look after themselves, they can’t develop essential life skills or
the important personality traits developed alongside them.

RELATED: 12 Good Habits Every Parent Must Teach Their Child

Life skill education simply cannot stop with the exposure your child receives in
school. To learn its importance, a child needs to be taught at home through
experiences and training activities.
 Says Dr. Amrita Basu Misra from Healthwealthbridge, “When
you want your child to grow up strong, you want to teach by example. It’s not
easy being a parent. It’s even more difficult to work on self -improvement while
raising a child.”

So, let’s first look at a few skills that are essential for any growing child to learn
in order for them to find it easy to deal with adulthood.

Let’s also look at how you can teach your child these skills.

Here are 18 life skills to equip your child with:

1. Basic Self-defence:

I’m sure you’ll agree that in today’s world especially, safety is of utmost
importance, and developing self-defence not only makes the child feel more
independent, but also more confident.

Basic self-defence is a must — be it for your son or your daughter. Most schools
these days invest in teaching basic self-defence to children. But if your child’s
school does not, don’t hesitate to send them for classes outside.

RELATED: Experts Reveal How To Talk To A Child About Sexual Abuse

2. First-aid and the importance of health:

You can’t expect to always be around whenever your child gets a hurt, bite or a
rash! So how about empowering them such that they are able to take care in case
of an emergency until they reach a grown-up?
This is essentially something the child’s schooling should cover but I strongly
encourage its reinforcement at home by teaching your child essential first aid
steps.

And this you can do by showing them a first aid kit and its contents. Children
are, after all, excellent learners!

Another important skill is teaching your child to take care of their health. Instead
of forcing your child to eat vegetables, talk to them about health risks in eating
junk food all the time and explain how the healthy food will benefit them in a
way that they can apply to themselves.

RELATED: 20 Tips To Improve Your Child’s Appetite

For example, for a kid interested in sports, talk about foods that give them
increased stamina and agility, enabling them to play better at their sport.

For kids that care about physical appearance traits like hair, talk about the
importance of Omega-3 fatty acids and the foods that contain it.`

3. Make them do their own work:

Let’s face it. When our kids grow up, they are very likely to leave home to pursue
their education or career. And if they aren’t taught responsibility and daily-living
skills today, it would be a problem for them in the future.

Most parents run around doing everything for their children so much so that the
child doesn’t get involved in anything. This shouldn’t be the case.

Be it putting their school bag together or taking the plate to the kitchen, ensure
your child is ‘responsible’ for their work. Teach these skills now, before it’s too
late! And there will be another helping hand at home, isn’t it?

RELATED: The Secret Formula To Make Your Child Study And Do Homework
4. How to manage time:

You’re probably wondering how. Well, you

can do this by getting your kid to claim responsibility for their own time.

Do this by getting them an alarm clock that they can use to wake up on time for
school, instead of you waking them up.

Get them a planner to use to track their school work and other extra-curricular
work and to keep track of what needs to be done by when.

RELATED: 12 Must-Try Extra-Curricular Activities For After-School

Engagement

When they do this, they will automatically begin to allow specific amounts of
time for play and for work.

5. Decision-making skills:

Education, career, life partners — there are so many important decisions we need
to make in our lives. How about instilling the skill of making appropriate
decisions at an early age itself in your child? Here’s how to — teach them in small
and simple ways how to make wise decisions. Start by asking them to choose
between 2 activities or games; 2 different types of clothes; 2 different food items,
etc.
Once this happens, the child will understand the consequences that each decision
causes. So guide your child through the process, help them weigh the advantages
and disadvantages before they make their decision!

6. Managing money & basic budgeting:

This is quite a basic one among life skills. Give your children a certain amount of
pocket money every week or every two weeks that they have to use for their
expenses.

If they wish to buy something a little more expensive, ask them to save up their
pocket money to buy it.

Or, you can lend them a helping hand by telling them that for every chunk of
money they save, you’ll add a certain amount of money to their fund for buying
the product.

This will motivate them more. I think the concept of comparative

shopping also comes under the concept of teaching your child about budgeting.

Tell them why you choose comparatively cheaper options sometimes. When they
want to buy a few things when you go shopping, encourage them to pick one or
two items if they’re of the same kind.

This kind of budgeting training develops a habit in your child to not waste money
and to respect its value.
Life Skills: Budget training develops a habit in your
child to not waste money and to respect its value.
Click to tweet

Says Neha Tambe, “I believe understanding the importance of

money and managing it is something that every child above the age of 10 should
know.

They are introduced to the concept of money from the age of 7 in school via
subjects like Maths but nobody teaches them the importance and relevance of
budgeting, planning, saving and the real value of money as they have never
handled money in real life.

Open a bank account for your child, ask them to deposit some money every
month (money received as gifts or if they help out in the house with some tasks
you could pay them a small amount.) This will inculcate the habit of saving and
appreciating money.” Wouldn’t you agree?

7. How to shop:
 Always take your child grocery shopping with
you. Once your child knows where the different categories of items are shelved,
give them a basket and ask them to get a few easy-to-find things for you.

You can also keep your kid in charge of buying a few things every month.
Examples of this would be snacks and juices. Once done, teach them how to pay
for it!

And the most important point — don’t forget to model smart shopping yourself!
8. Involve them in simple cooking:

Children can cook, too! Don’t you agree?

And you can start with simple things! Teach your child how to make their own
peanut butter and jam sandwiches, teach them how to butter a slice of bread, and
how to make a salad.

Have them tear up greens, squeeze lemon, and put chopped vegetables together
to make a salad.

You can also get them to help you with baking, with handing you ingredients
while you cook or with keeping the kitchen table clean while you’re preparing a
meal.

9. Importance of environmental preservation:

Instilling the importance of environment and sustainability at an early age will

teach your child to be more loving towards the planet. Teach your kid why
preserving the environment is essential by making small lifestyle changes at
home. Get them to practise eco-friendly habits in everything they do.

You can also make them do environmental activities such as gardeningand

collecting waste to throw in a bin. If you have a yard, give them a portion of the
yard to plant whatever they like in.

Help them sow seeds and make it their responsibility to water the plants. If you
don’t have a yard, you can always use planting pots.
Life Skills: Teach your kid why preserving the
environment is essential. Get them to practise eco-
friendly habits.
Click to tweet

10. Finish tasks independently:

Let your children do their own tasks. Let them pack their own school bag, make
their own bed, and even pack their own lunch!

You can do this by making each task a bit exciting by helping them out. Buy them
new bedding and cushions themed around a cartoon or movie they love.

Have a sandwich station or a pancake station for breakfast with cut up fruits,
jams, syrup, spreads, etc, so they can make their own plate and eat it the way
they like.

PRO TIP: You can also try an activity box like Flintobox to make a child learn
and develop skills independently. The activities in Flintobox are highly
educational where children learn concepts and life skills through play! To find
out more about Flintobox, visit this link >
11. How to interact with people:

We’ve all taught children about stranger danger but this doesn’t make much
logical sense considering every person we’re close to as adults was a stranger to
us at some point.

Instead, teach your children to do exactly what adults do. Teach them to
differentiate between good strangers and bad strangers. Teach them how to
interact with the good strangers.

Teach them how to make friends, how to be friendly to good adults, and just how
they should go about interacting with these people.

If you think about it, a task that we do every single day is to be engaged in
interaction with people. If we don’t teach children this at a young age, they may
not develop positive social skills.

12. Cleaning and other household chores:

Now I know what you’re thinking. Getting kids to get involved in cleaning
activities is really hard! We agree. But we assure you that your effort w ill be well
worth it!

Start small by just asking them to keep their room clean, make their bed, and
make sure everything they own is in its right place. You can then ask them to
clean the dishes that they use to eat after eating as well.

You can ask them to dust the tables one day and ask them to take the trash out
on another. You can also ask them to set the table in whichever way they think
looks the best and ask them to get creative with it

RELATED: 11 Ways To Foster Creative Thinking In Your Child

Ask them to participate in chores such as these to help you out or i n exchange for
their allowance.
It’s important to practise these activities both in the context of an allowance and
out of it, so your child learns to just help out without being given anything in
return, too.

13. Basic etiquettes & how to order at restaurants:

Teach your kid about how to behave at a restaurant and how to place an order.
Ask them to place their own orders and decide on what they want to eat on their
own.

Also teach them how to eat with a knife and fork, how to place the knife and fork
on the plate once they’re done eating, and on how to tip the waiters.

14. How to use maps:

Going somewhere? Start off by teaching your kids the routes around your house
and test this by asking them to direct you home or to school the next time you’re
dropping them.

You can then ensure that your child learns how to read a map, and also teach
them how to use a GPS and follow its instructions.

15. Wash, wash, wash your clothes:

Involve them in household chores such as doing the laundry. You can teach them
how to turn on the washing machine, what kind of clothes to wash separately,
how much detergent to use, how to turn on the dryer, etc.

16. Basics of travelling:

 Aside from navigation, your child should
know travelling basics.

From learning to ride a cycle to learning how to use public transport, make sure
your child knows how to do these things along with routes.

Teach them how to buy metro or bus tickets, teach them the basics of which
metro train or bus goes to your house from school.

These are important skills that your child will need for later as well as for
emergencies.

17. Looking at situations from others’ perspectives:

When your child comes to you about a problem that he or she had with their
friend or a problem that they witnessed, encourage them to look at the situation
that took place from the perspective of others.

Even explain the emotional reactions of people every chance you get. Explain
why someone is sad or angry.

This increases their problem-solving abilities and their level of understanding of

the people around them greatly.
18. Resilience & Adaptability:

Another important skill would be to teach your child to be resilient. How you can
do this is by ensuring you don’t feed your child with solutions all the time.

Empower your child to problem-solve by themselves so that they’re ready to face

challenges as and when they come. They must learn resilience to adapt to
different changes and different environments.

Make sure you have an open channel of communication to understand what your
child is going through and help them out – and of course, as a parent, you too
must model resilient behaviour at home!

Conclusion:

By the time a child is six or seven, they’ve developed the foundation of their
personality and this kind of life skill development really enhances positive
personality traits.
At this age point, your child should be fairly independent in the way they
function inside the house. They should also be following any safety rules that you
lay down for them, which goes to show the personality trait of understanding and
reasoning.

A few more life skills that Dr. Amrita Basu Misra suggests are — teaching
children kindness, positivity, patience, persistence, believing in oneself, and
working hard.

Developing life skills is important so our kids have a brief idea of what they want
to do in life and essentially keep in mind the kind of person they want to be.

Let’s focus on educating our children in a way that they find fun and entertaining
so we can be worry-free when it comes to their morals and skills!

Have we missed an essential life skill? Just drop a comment and let
us know what you feel is important for a child to develop!

90% of a child’s permanent foundation for brain development occurs in the early
years according to Rauch Foundation. An overuse of gadgets can only stunt this
growth and cause a negative impact on the child’s overall development.
If your child is spending more time swiping and scrolling, instead of interaction
with the real world, you need to act before it’s too late.
Find out if your child is being meaningfully and positively engaged by taking this
simple quiz.

Quick & Easy Ways To Reduce Your Child’s Time On TV / Mobile Phones

 By Rakesh

Parenting

Have you ever heard a song on the radio and

ended up singing it all day long?

Or have you seen a scary or disturbing movie and lost your sleep at night?

Have you watched a TV series and cried along with one of the characters?

Yes.

The impact of screens is HUGE in our lives.

So much so that what we see and what we hear has slowly (but surely) shaped our
thoughts.

And if this is the case for us adults, imagine the kind of impact it has on
our children.

Considering the fact that maximum brain development occurs by age 7 and
further building by age 12, what children see, do or hear at this age will shape
their entire future.

RELATED: 12 mind-boggling brain games to activate thinking in kids

But in today’s digital world, is it ideal to take kids completely off screens?

Often, due to the inadequacy of time and the piling work loads, parents resort to
gadgets and smart screens to engage their children. Dipika, a Blogger and
a Freelance Educationalist explains, “Very often to save our crucial time, we
search for easier options to divert the curious minds of kids.”

These smart screens offer creative and engaging content that easily grab the
interests of children.

RELATED: 11 Ways To Foster Creative Thinking In Your Child [Expert Tips Inside]

We spoke to Vidya Ragu, psychologist, learning and development

specialist from Chennai who shares with us the science, impact, and even a
secret formula for parents to strike the right balance!

Bonus: Want to creatively engage your child without smartphones or TV? You’re in luck!
Download FREE Skill-Building Worksheets Today >>

But before we dive into it, let’s first understand one thing — screen time has
today become a dilemma for parents because today’s children are ‘digital babies’.

On one side, you really can’t take them completely off technology — because that
will just handicap them in the future.

And on the other hand, they shouldn’t use too much of it!

So where do you draw the line?

 Vidya suggests that firstly, as parents,
you need to understand what screen addiction is.

Screen addiction is when too much screen usage makes a child completely lost in
it and they end up feeling that screens alone will make them happy.

They reach a point where they always want to go back to it every time their hands
are free!

Screen addiction today is also called digital heroin – which means it’s as bad as
drugging a child. It ruins relationships within the family, children get into a
cocoon, conflicts arise, etc.

And that’s not all…

Screens trigger the reward mechanism or the pleasure parts in the brain – which
makes the child more addicted. The reason this occurs is that screens in
whichever form – tabs, smartphones, TV, video games, etc. are extremely
stimulating.

Visually, auditory, sensorially, screens provide the best of the best! And nobody,
not even a parent, can compete with it. Too much screen time can tremendously
impair a child’s development and Vidya Ragu explains how…
The Impact Of Screen Time In Children That You Didn’t Know

About:

Physiological impairment:

Have you observed that more children these days are complaining about neck
pain?

You’ll see them lying down, slouching over or sitting down and bending over it.
The moment they sit down and bend, their spine alignment gets altered.

And this misalignment has a direct correlation to their blood circulation

resulting in impairment of brain development. Here are some impacts of too
much screen time on a child’s physiology:

1) Causes headaches

Prolonged exposure to bright blue light coming from the screen [SOURCE:Harvard Medical

School] generally induce headaches in children.

The underlying problem is that, constant headaches decrease a child’s ability to

concentrate and perform tasks efficiently.

Dr. Uthista Ram Thota from YourDOST , who specialises in Child

Psychology explains, “Gadgets have a massive negative effect on children today.
(They) have less energy and a hard time concentrating in school.”
This in turn disrupts his/her studies and performance [SOURCE: Cambridge University ] in
various activities.

2) Leads to poor vision

I think you’ll agree that the number of children wearing spectacles nowadays is
much more than that during our childhood.

The excessive exposure to bright blue lights can strain your child’s eyes. Research
shows that constant eye strain leads to poor vision even in adults [SOURCE: BBC] .

Poor vision and even headaches generally result in the need for spectacles,
making it difficult for your child to participate in sports and other activities.

3) Decline in physical activity

With tonnes of interesting and engaging content available on screen, physical

activity will seem more of a task to children.
However, lack of physical activity leads to lack of exercise for the muscles and
body, lack of getting fresh air, etc., all of which are essential for a child’s
development.

RELATED: 16 Mind-Blowing Exercise Games To Make Kids Active, Fit & Health >

Physical activity also provides an opportunity for a kid to make new friends,
communicate, and learn key skills like coordination, teamwork, etc. Thus, with
no physical activity, the child’s ability to socialise also diminishes.

4) Affects posture

Excess time in front of gadgets affect your child’s posture. It forces your child to
remain in unhealthy postures for prolonged periods, resulting in severe neck
pain [SOURCE: Livemint]

How? Let me explain.

Have you ever noticed how your child sits while using the mobile phone? Do you
remember the Facebook meme where people are shaped like an ‘f’ to show how
addicted all have become?

Well, it isn’t just a meme. After interacting with these gadgets for a while, that is
how both you and your child usually end up sitting.

TVs are no lesser culprits either. Children watching TV generally sit with their
heads inclined to one side. This usually affects their posture, leading to neck
pain.

5) Causes obesity
According to American Heart Association, 1 in 3 children are obese . Obesity is a major
health-related problem arising due to excess screen time.

“Children are found to carry a much higher risk of childhood obesity as they do
not take part in outdoor play and run a high risk of becoming ‘couch potatoes’”,
says Dr. Uthista.

As a result of increasing interactions with gadgets, children spend prolonged

times idly sitting in one place, without any physical activity.

Both of these contribute directly to the rise in obesity, w hich in long term leads
to other health issues.

RELATED: Why Using Mobile Phones While Eating Is Dangerous For Your Child [Must
Read]

6) Causes irregular sleep cycle

Dr. Uthista explains, “Another problematic aspect of too much screen time is
that they have been shown to disrupt sleep.”

A child who spends a lot of time watching TV or enganging with gadgets,

especially before bedtime, faces difficulty in sleeping. The bright light emitted from
screens make the brain think it’s day time, disrupting sleep [SOURCE: Harvard Medical

School] .

This causes the child to keep on tossing and turning around, unable to fall asleep.
Lack of sleep or irregular sleep affects a child’s sleep cycle, daily routine, and in
turn, his/her health.

Psychological impairment:
Ever noticed how irritated a child gets when you take him/her off the screen?
That’s because they are being denied the stimulating experience that screens
provide.

Vidya explains, that when a visual is stimulating, the scene flashes again and
again in the child’s mind – and lasts for a longer impact. Subsequently, a child’s
creativity gets diminished because the child’s spending time staring at a screen.

Another issue is that children especially between 5 and 12, constantly observe
people in their surroundings and develop their language skills, social skills,
communication skills, interpersonal skills, confidence etc.

But when the child spends too much time staring at the screen, he/she is denied
the opportunity to make these interactions and develop.

1) Takes a toll on imagination

Imagination and creativity are an integral part of your child’s development.

When was the last time you saw your child pretend-play with just a cardboard
box, imagining a whole new world and story around it?
You more often notice children these days spending a lot more time on gadgets
than the real worlds.

They usually get attracted to these virtual worlds and remain there for prolonged
periods of time. This endless time watching TV or playing with gadgets deprives
them the time to think on their own and be imaginative.

2) Unable to tolerate losses

Most activities on the screen like games make life simpler and are more
attractive for your child.

So, whenever faced with a loss or an unfavourable result, he/she always has a
choice to restart, sparing the disappointment of a loss.

However, this makes your kid unable to tolerate losses in real life, leading to
frustration and inability to learn virtues like patience, sportsmanship, etc.

3) Gives way to anxiety & depression

A child who spends more time on screen is prone to be either anxious or

depressed when asked to get off screen — you may have already seen this
yourself.

Most of the time, he/she argues with you and tries to stay on screen for some more
time.

Even if you do manage to get your little one off screen, he/she will seem
uninterested in mingling with anyone. This further decreases your child’s
interaction and communication skills, and thus, the ability to socialise.

4) Increases violence

A child who plays a lot of violent games is said to imbibe and imitate what he/she
sees.

For example: if a kid plays a lot of action games, he/she will constantly be seen
punching, hitting, or shooting imaginary opponents.

As Dr. Uthista explains, “(Since) Children naturally model what they see, they
are more likely to display aggressive behaviour.”

However, the problem is that, involuntarily the child becomes rude, agitated,
and often picks up fights with siblings, friends, classmates [SOURCE: The Hindu].

Children naturally model what they see, they are more

likely to display aggressive behaviour.
Click to tweet

5) Leads to lesser social interaction

The worst effect of tv/gadgets on children is perhaps social disconnection.

Research shows that excess screen time is making kids less social [SOURCE: Telegraph ].

The most important part of a child’s development is communication. With more

screen time, communication decreases, exposing the child to the views and
opinions of whatever he/she sees.
Without communication, he/she can’t know the right from wrong, becoming
biased and not knowing how to interact with others.

As Lata, the founder of Fabulous Mom Life blog puts it, “I am all for
technology savvy kids, but excessive and unmonitored exposure to screens of all
kinds is bad. It clogs the creative outlets of kids.

They begin to look for ready-made answers to problems instead of putting their
unique and creative minds to test.”

Research also shows that too much screen time also causes speech delay — which
means, the more the screen time for your child, the longer it will take for their
speech to develop!

Future Implications:

Needless to say, children who spend too much time with screens during the years
of development, will find it very hard to deal with, establish and maintain
relationships.

Their over-involvement in the digital world may also reduce their ability to
process things in the ‘real’ world. Especially in terms of different sensory aspects
like touch, smell, etc.

So how can you as a parent help nullify the impact that screen time has on
children? How do you prevent your child from falling prey to screen addiction?

Vidya Ragu has a secret formula for us with which you can hit away all your
parenting worries! It’s called ‘BATS’. Let’s get into each aspect one by one! Read
on.
RELATED: Save Your Child From Infobesity Before It’s Too Late >

Secret Formula To Prevent Screen Addiction In Your Child – BATS

B – Boredom

“Mummy am bored”
“Papa, I don’t know what to do… Am bored”

As parents, when you hear your child scream “I’m Bored”, don’t you rush in to
save them from boredom?

Whether you’re travelling by car, at someone’s house or out for dinner, when
your child is ‘bored’, and when you run out of ideas, it’s a likelihood that you’ll
turn to the easiest and ever-present saviour in disguise – the stimulating
smartphones.

But what is boredom, and what is its connection with screen time?
Vidya explains that as parents, somewhere we’ve mistakenly drawn the
conclusion that it’s our responsibility to save our children from boredom or that
boredom is ‘bad’.

Boredom, on the other hand, is a precursor to creativity. And in today’s digital

era creativity is much more valued than IQ or EQ. Today, being ‘different’
matters. And being ‘bored’ is the precedent to thinking differently!

So the next time your child says he/she is bored, don’t rush and react. Instead,
respond. How do you do this?
Simple – throw the ball on their court!

Ask them, “what do you think we can do? Shall we try something different?”
And encourage them to come up with solutions that are screen-free!

Next, let’s look at some alternatives!

A – Alternatives

The idea of finding alternative activities is to slowly take kids off the screen and
shift them towards something that will build their creativity.
So to do this, first identify what your child is inclined towards and u se them as
alternatives to screen time!

Does your child like to draw? Sing? Dance? Or to cook?

Use their interests positively and get them engaged without screens.

In fact, you can also help them develop Hobbies this way or help them prune
their skills by joining classes.
It’s seen that most kids enjoy engaging with nature. So sowing seeds, watering
plants or going on a nature walk will work great! With these ideas, you are
kindling their curiosity and getting them to engage more creatively!

Here are some ideas:

a) Encourage hobbies
Hobbies help take children off screens. As Dipika explains, “ Pick up activities like
painting , puzzles, drawing, dancing, etc. Remember parent’s participation piques
the child’s interest immediately.”

If your child takes up reading, then provide him/her new books every week, and
place rewards for completing each book.

Rewards are always great motivators for children. Rewards get y our child more
involved and thus, takes him/her off-screen.

But remember, rewards don’t necessarily be chocolates, they can be more books,
study materials or even praises. It’s better not to inculcate the habit of rewarding
with chocolates and like materials.

RELATED: Unique hobby ideas to bring out the superstar in your child

b) Spend time for games

“Sports is the best answer to this issue. Whether or not your child is in clined
towards sports, there must be some kind of active play that will interest them.
Activity on the field provides mental and physical stimulation and TV and phones
are completely forgotten!”, says Lata.

Games are one of the easiest ways to help take children off screens. You get to
engage your child and he/she enjoys the time. Apart from breaking screen time,
your little one has the added benefit of enhancing key skills.

Outdoor games like football, swimming, etc help:

 Build motor skills

 Strengthen bones and muscles
 Boost the immune system
 “A healthy mind stays in a healthy body. So I engage him in
outdoor activities like skating, basketball, etc.”, says Namita Khanna Aahuja, a
parent.

Indoor games like carom board, chess, etc help build:

 coordination skills
 cognitive skills
 decision making skills and so on

c) Engage your child in household chores

How about getting your little one to assist you in household chores ?

It not only takes him/her away from the screen but also allows you to spend
more time with your child. “(While cooking) I let my daughter put all the cut
pieces in one bowl and the leftovers in the trash bag”, says Rupa Sri Boyapati, a
parent.

Apart from bonding, it helps in teaching about cleanliness, discipline, time

management, and most importantly how to look after oneself.

d) Try an activity box like Flintobox

Another alternative is gifting your child an activity box! Educational boxes like
Flintobox are designed by child experts and game designers to engage and
entertain children in an equally stimulating environment as screens.
The activities are colourful, engaging, fun, help the child develop holistic skills,
introduces them to new themes and concepts every month, and the child learns
through explorative play! For more details, visit flintobox.com >>

Next comes Time!

T – Time
If you notice closely, you’ll find that there’s a pattern in your child’s screen time.
There’ll be a certain time in the day when your child is ‘hooked’ to screens.
Identify this ‘time’ and break it with something more creative!
Here’s an example…

When you pick your child up from school, does your child get into the car and
play games on the phone?
Then break this!

Instead, turn up the volume and sing a song with your child!

Or if your child runs home and immediately picks up a gadget to play with, break
that pattern!

Take him/her for a nature walk, or to a class that they enjoy, or somewher e
outdoors!

The last one is the most important!

S – Support & Surrounding

Instead of blaming your child when he/she is watching TV or playing with

gadgets, offer them support! And we really can’t blame the kids when we
ourselves are peering into our phones all the time. Children mirror us so it’s up
to us to create the right surrounding through communication.

When you bond more with your child, he/she will enjoy your voice more than
that of a screen. So share experiences, bond together and give the sc reens a
break! Or better still…
Take An E-Fast As A Family

Say hello to family time! Set a time limit – say 2 hours, and the entire family puts
their gadgets away and go on an e-fast!

Use this time to play, go out and spend time together!

And here’s a tip: don’t forget to talk like them with them!

Spend quality family time

Family time has a significant impact on screen time. Dining together, going for
walks, short trips and picnics, avoiding all gadgets, gives way to conversations.

These conversations provide an opportunity to interact with your child and for
him/her to share things with you.

Dr. Uthista explains, “ Spend more time with your children . Kids who are found to
be lonely are more likely to look for a sort of companionship in gadgets.
For example get down on the floor with your kids and pick up a doll. It takes
intentionality and selfless love when they are younger. But when they grow up,
you’ll be glad you did.”

This ensures quality time and teaches him/her the importance of family and
togetherness.

Here are some other ideas:

As Dr. Uthista explains, “If you are not going to turn off the television
completely, choose the appropriate television viewing timings for your kids. It is
much easier to limit their viewing habit if they understand that they can only
watch one show during the day.”

Specifically tell your child when he/she can use a mobile,

console, or watch TV and more importantly specify for how long he/she can use it.

“It is important to 1st set limitations and make children well updated about
Minutes of watching TV or playing Screen Games”, says Lee na Prince Chawla, a
parent.

If possible, then keep them in the loop while deciding the time slot. Because if
kids have a say in the schedule, they are more likely to follow it.

Even when your kid has to use the computer or mobile phone for completing a
school assignment, give a time limit. Besides that, whenever he/she uses a
gadget, keep announcing the time/usage time left at regular intervals. This helps
to take him/her off more easily.

a) Make gradual changes

Don’t ban your child from watching TV or playing games on your phone in one
shot. Make gradual changes and cut down an hour a week to start with.

Be smart, introduce new activities so that your kid spends less time watching TV or
engaging with a gadget, without even knowing.

Also, if it’s his/her favourite show on TV or a new game, give your child half an
hour to an hour maximum to entertain himself/herself. Tell your kid it’s
important to get up, stretch, eat, or play outdoors especially after sitting and
staring at the screen for an hour. Make it a habit.

b) Be a role model & mind your screen time

Kids imitate what their parents do. Which is why it would be advisable to restrict
your own screen time.

“Children will always gravitate toward the modelled behaviours of their parents.
If they see you reading a book, they are more likely to read. And if they see you
watching television, so will they.” explains Dr. Uthista.

The easiest way to do that is by putting up restrictions in accordance with your

schedule. For example: if you’re putting up screen restriction from 6 pm to 9 pm
– make sure you can avoid all screen works during that time.

Make sure to complete all work with screens before or schedule them after th is
time frame.
 Set a good example for him/her to follow. “Our children follow
us. If we decrease the use of screens in front of them, their use will also
decrease”, says Rima Divyen Shah, a parent.

If this seems absolutely impossible, then make sure to use the gadget from a
different room, away from your child’s eyes.

Children will always gravitate toward the modelled

behaviours of their parents. Set a good example.
Click to tweet

c) Avoid buying your child his/her own gadget

“Is it worth it or deemed fit? Don’t buy a gadget because your children want to fit
in with their social circle. Buy it only if you are convince d of it is utility and if it
fits your affordability.” says Dr. Uthista.

Restrain yourself from buying your child his/her own gadget for as long as
possible. In case your child requires a computer for purposes like school work,
make sure that it is used only while you are around.

If you feel the need for a mobile to know of your child’s whereabouts or for safety
purposes, then resort to a basic phone. Avoid buying smartphones with advanced
functionalities. This way you will be able to monitor and control th e screen time
of your child.
Don’t buy a gadget because your children want to fit
in with their social circle.
Click to tweet

4) Place TVs and computers in common place

It’s important to make your child’s room gadget free. This is mainly because,
the bright blue light emitted by these screens causes the delay of melatonin in the
body [SOURCE: The Washington Post] . Melatonin is a hormone that is responsible for
inducing sleep. This lack of melatonin disrupts the body’s sleep cycle.

By moving all the gadgets to a common space, you’ll be able to implement a strict
usage schedule. This also lets you monitor and ensure that your child is exposed
to only age-appropriate content.

Is there a way to turn screen time into your favour?

Yes!

Do you want your child to learn or develop a new skill such as improve their
handwriting? Do you want your child to eat vegetables? Or any such desirable
action? List it out!
Show this list to your child, and every time they do this in a day, they earn sta rs.
And once they earn a certain number of stickers, they can get to use their
screens/gadgets for a specified time!

Conclusion

Your child may throw tantrums or not like the ‘rules’ you create for screen time.
Be firm and consistent. Tell him/her, you’re limiting TV-watching, video games,
or surfing the web so that they have more time to play — indoor or outdoor, read
their favourite comic and have fun!

Stay calm and remind your little one why these limits are important.

When it comes to screens, the whole point of finding an alternative arises from
the need to engage with something which is more interesting and challenging.

Which is where activity boxes come in.

Filled with activities designed specifically to engage children, these boxes not
just help ensure that your child stays off screen, but also aid his/her
development!

Flintobox makes theme-based activity boxes for children between 2 and 12 years
of age. Each month’s theme is unique and we produce a limited number of boxes
every month. You can check them out here >>
Do try these out and share with us which worked best for you. If
you’ve any other methods that help keep your child off screens, do
share them with us in the comments below!

You make also like:

Easy riddles for kids: 23 brain teasers for fun
12 Must try extra curricular activities for after-school engagement
Article originally published on – October 31, 2016, updated on – March 13, 2018

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About Rakesh

With an enthusiasm for writing and a craze for movies, Rakesh delved into
content writing straight from engineering. Often silent, he is usually found
researching about smartphones and technology. Generally hates boasting, but
come subject of friends and the dog is off the leash.

12 Good Habits Every Parent Must Teach Their Child

 By Manasa

Child Development

As adults, it is extremely difficult to change our ways and develop a good habit.
You would all agree when I say that it is easier to pick up good habits as a child.

This, however, might seem like a tough job for parents.

Well, not really.

Take a look at these 12 healthy habits that you could teach your little one and
make part of their daily routines. With a little guidance and effort from you, they
can do it in a simpler and quicker fashion.

Here’s a list of 12 good habits for children to improve their health

and discipline

How to Stay Fit?

1. Follow Bedtime Routines:

A minimum of 8 hours is absolutely essential for all children. Encourage them to

sleep early .

They must be in bed latest by 10 pm and should have an early start to the day.
They should be up and running by 7 am.

This is an important part of the routine and will help a lot of other factors fall
into place. Ensure that they drink enough water after dinner and use the
bathroom before calling it a day. This will help them sleep tight till the morning.

RELATED: 8 Useful Ways To Help Kids Master The Art Of Self-Discipline

2. Step Outdoors:

Play is just as important as work. And as a child, one must spend at least 1 to 1.5
hours daily on physical activities. This does not mean indoor games. It means
getting a lot of Sun, making new friends and a lot of physical activity outdoors.

As parents and instructors, it is our responsibility to ensure that children do not

spend more than 1 hour watching TV, playing on the iPad or Xbox. This makes
them lethargic and damages their eyesight too.
How to Stay Safe?

3. Obey Safety Rules:

There is no such thing as old-fashioned when it comes to obeying safety rules.

Explain to your child that rules are important for keeping people safe and happy.

When everyone follows rules, people often don’t get hurt and people treat each
other with kindness and respect on the road, in the school or even at home.

RELATED: 6 Ways to Teach Your Child to Be Kind and Respectful

They must learn to carefully walk the streets, cross only at the zebra crossing , get off
a car only onto the pavement, not disturb the driver at any point, not meddle
with hazardous things like gas stoves, firecrackers, heating rods, to name a few.
This is a safety habit that children must follow.

4. Be Aware Of Stranger Danger:

Children at the young age of 3 and 4 work purely on impulse. They are not old
enough to differentiate between good and bad. They are ready to make friends
and trust easily.

It might be tough to teach them the concept of a stranger, but it is important to

start the discussion. When you go out, ask them to stay close. Also, kids this age
must be taught what is a good touch and bad touch and how to say no if they are
uncomfortable.

Kids might find the concept of a stranger very confusing, so besides Grandpa,
Uncle and Aunty, give a few examples of adults a child can go to for help –
another trusted parent, teacher, or school administrator.
Point out authority figures, like security guards and apartment caretakers, so
your child can identify strangers who might be able to help.

RELATED: Should you raise an obedient child?

How to Stay Energized?

5. Eat Right, Eat Healthy:

A good, healthy diet is a habit. Especially in

children, it does not happen overnight.

They need to be encouraged to eat more fresh foods like fruits and must avoid
fatty and sugary snacks.

A low-fat dairy product also must be a part of their meals. This could be a tall
glass of milk or a bowl of curd. Avoid giving your child sugary treats when they
achieve something.

Instead switch to fun, tasty and healthy alternatives like dry fruits, nuts, and
home-made juice. Such a good mix of food items will provide the child enough
energy to survive the day and focus on the important things.
6. Drink Plenty Of Water:

Water helps our body in multiple ways. As we all know, it carries nutrients to cells
and most importantly water helps to remove waste products from our major
organs. As children play throughout the day, we must remember that water helps
them to control the body temperature.

Without the right amount of water, a child could easily get dehydrated and
regular bodily functions may get hit. Hydration in children is particularly
important as their water requirement in relation to their body weight is much
higher than that of an adult.

If the child finds regular water boring and avoids it, then you could add some
lime and tulsi to the household water. Ensure that they use clean glasses and
bottles to store the water and this could lead to an infection.

How to Stay Healthy?

7. Stay Hygienic:
As young kids, they tend to play for long hours. As a result, their clothes collect
dead skin cells, sweat and possibly other stains.

Overnight bacteria start to work on these stains, not only leaving the clothes
smelly but also could spread some disease or infection to the child.

One must ensure that a young child has a bath at least once a day in lukewarm
water and wears freshly washed clothes. The child must change clothes post -
school, post-play and before bed.

Remember you have sweat glands in your head too. So children have to have a
clean scalp. Their hair must be washed with a child-friendly shampoo at least
twice a week.

Children must change clothes post-school, post-play

and before bed to avoid infections and diseases.
Click to tweet

8. The Most Important Meal Of The Day:

Almost all child nutritionists harp on this issue – Breakfast. It is the most
important meal of the day and gives us maximum energy. As a parent, you must
ensure that your kids are early risers and have enough time to enjoy a healthy,
tasty breakfast before school.

Children often skip breakfast or play with their meal and rush to school. They
feel weak all day and find it tough to cope with the tough and physically/mentally
intensive activities.

Try to provide variety by throwing in a portion of fruit and a glass of milk with oats
and honey, dosa, and chutney or bread and marmalade.
What Else?

9. General Awareness:

In this growing day and age it is not enough to just learn the alphabets and
numbers. There is a lot happening in the world too and a child can start lear ning
about these happenings. One can pull out simple child-friendly news articles and
read it out to them or help them read.

Young World by the Hindu is one such paper. General awareness is of utmost
importance and reading the newspaper is an important habit.

Not only does this broaden their horizons but also enhances their language skills.
Also, encourage them to start reading books and watch them fall in love with
reading.

RELATED: 9 Sure-Fire Tips Guaranteed To Improve Your Child’s Handwriting

10. Household Chores:

They are never too young to help around the house. You can get them to do very
small chores like keeping their room clean, arranging the magazine shelf, packing
their toys, laying the dining table etc.

This makes them feel older and much more important. Also, it teaches them to be
more independent. They will also be respectful toward those who help and clean
at home, in a school or at a restaurant.

RELATED: 14 Essential Life Skills To Equip Your Child For The Real World

11. Public Behaviour:

Inconveniencing people in public transport, not speaking to waiters or

shopkeepers in a respectful manner, picking up things that do not belong to you,
ruining public buildings and monuments are some common things that children
could end up doing if they are not trained right.

They must learn to behave in public, but most importantly they should learn the
repercussions of their bad habits. Explain the consequences and the need for
them to behave well in public.

RELATED: The Fine Art Of Teaching Kids Good Manners & Effective Ways To Handle
Your Child’s Temper Tantrums & This Is The Secret To Building Your Child’s Confidence

12. Sharing Is Caring:

 The last and most important habit is sharing.
Very young children are extremely self-centered and goal-oriented. “I want that
toy.”

And that’s it. Nothing else matters to them till they get the toy and most
importantly they find it tough to control their impulse. Sharing can be taught at
home and in the school.

At the dinner table, set an example and share your favourite dish with the others.
Encourage the child to start too.

RELATED: Sibling Rivalry In Kids: How To Reduce Fighting & Improve Bonding

In a classroom, set up group activities that are based on sharing. Tell them that
grabbing is not okay, and offer alternatives such as helping them choose another
object or material while they wait their turn.

Good habits can lead to a healthy and happy life. Just remember, the child is
never too young to learn. And as a parent or instructor, it is your duty to
encourage good behaviour at all times. Positive reinforcement always helps while
teaching children good habits.
We know this list is not the be all and end all. Drop us a comment and
let us know what other habits you think are absolutely essential and
how it can be inculcated in a child. Also, do not forget to share this
blog with parents and pre-school instructors.

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About Manasa

Manasa Ramakrishnan is a Bangalorean. She loves learning new languages and

watching off-beat movies. She started off as a broadcast journalist with CNN-IBN
and then completed her Teach for India Fellowship in Chennai. Post the
fellowship she started-up in the education space and founded a company called
Curricooler. She currently works at Amazon as a Content Editor. Manasa is an
Asian College of Journalism Alumnus. She is crazy about animals and spends a
lot of time with her pets.

13 Mind-Blowing Tips To Increase Concentration Power In Kids

 By Dr. Shireen Stephen

Child Development

“Can’t you just stop fidgeting and finish your homework ?”

I’m sure we’ve all asked our children this at least a few dozen times while they’re
studying. I know I have!

As a mother of a vibrant, fun-loving, talkative eight-year-old girl, it is often

a challenge for me to get her to sit in one place, focus on her homework and
finish it without getting too distracted.

And yes, I say “too distracted” because children are naturally energetic and
exuberant and we cannot expect them to focus completely and not get distracted
at all!
But, having said that, it IS possible to help a child focus on a task and increase
concentration skills for a longer period of time.

RELATED: The secret formula to make your child study and do homework

Before we head there, here are a couple of things you need to understand…

Children are naturally curious with unmatchable energy…

And the main reason they face these concentration issues is that they are wired
differently.

The main reason children face concentration issues is

because they are wired differently to adults.
Click to tweet
When the task they’re given isn’t fun, they get bored and quickly shift their
attention to something more interesting — unlike us adults where we complete
tasks whether we like it or not!

Here’s Vidya Ragu, psychologist, learning & development specialist, talk about
how to improve a child’s concentration, attention span and focus, and how to
deal with concentration problems in children.

Having said that, here are some of the best ways to help improve your child’s
concentration quickly and easily. Take a look at techniques on how to improve
concentration in kids!

13 Techniques To Improve &

Increase Concentration Power & Focus In

Children

1. Play focus games & exercises to build attention

 Since children learn more by playing, it is
always a good idea to try and make their activities a little more fun.

Keep away gadgets, tablets and computers and allow children to play with regular
toys, activities that improve attention and concentration, and concentration
exercises.

Studies have shown that gadgets actually reduce attention span and memory
power of children so they should be used sparingly or not at all.

 Thinking games – You can train and strengthen a child’s ability to

concentrate and focus by playing concentration games that require
thinking, planning and the use of memory.

Crossword puzzles , jigsaw puzzles and card games such as ‘Memory’ and
‘Uno’ actually improve attention for words,numbers and pictures, while
picture puzzles—in which your younger child has to look for things that are
‘wrong’ in the picture or look for hard-to-find objects—also improve
attention and increase concentration.

 Sequencing – The link between sequencing and concentration is a strong

one. Following recipes, setting the table and putting things in alphabetical
order are great activities for kids who have concentration difficulties.
 Just sit – This game involves challenging your child to sit in a chair
without moving or fidgeting to see how long he can do it. Another
concentration improvement game in this category is ‘Statue!’ Through
repeated play, the child’s brain is ‘exercised’ and challenged,
which strengthens mind-body connections and improves focus.
RELATED: 10 quick and proven techniques to boost your child’s memory

2. Prepare a distraction-free environment

Some children respond well in an environment that is soothing and calming

but other children may thrive in an environment that has a lot of hustle and
bustle.

Understanding what kind of environment your child prefers to study is the first
step to increase concentration level in him/her.

 Ambience – Soft instrumental music and soft lighting helps to set the
mood for studying. “Manav used to be quite hyper all the time , but after I put
a fish tank in his room, I find that he has calmed down quite a bit!” says
Kalpana, mother of 4-year-old Manav. “I think just watching these fish
calmly swimming around has had an amazing effect on him!”
 Gadgets – Ideally, all gadgets including televisions, iPads, cell phones etc. need
to be switched off or kept in a different room to avoid distractions. If you
need to use a computer to study, make sure that it is used only for studying
and nothing else.
 Reachable material – Keep everything that is required at hand so that
your child does not need to get up to get anything. All homework books,
crayons, textbooks, pencils and even water can be kept on the table or
nearby. This also helps keep track of how much work is left and helps you
to manage your time better. All these help kids improve focus and increase
attention!

Understanding the environment your kid prefers to

study is the 1st step to increase concentration.
Click to tweet

3. Feed them greens & healthy food

 Eating healthy food has a direct link to how
well a child concentrates and there are different foods that help increase a child’s
concentration. Eating junk food or food rich in sugar makes a child sluggish
while food rich in proteins such as almonds, eggs and lean meat have the ability
to raise awareness and increase concentration levels!

 Caffeine – A recent trend in the US shows that children have increased

their intake of coffee and caffeinated energy drinks. This gives them an
unhealthy dose of sugar which can lead to a “crash” of energy later.
 Green food – An interesting study in the University of Ulster, UK shows
that eating toast and baked beans for breakfast increases cognition. Experts
say that eating greens and fruits inject the body with antioxidants which in
turn boost your brain power.

4. Fix a routine to follow

 Anita, mother of 4 year-old Rahul has
everything planned to a T. “Rahul comes home from school at 3.30 pm and has a
snack. At 4 pm, I take him outside to cycle or play with the neighbourhood
children.”

“At 5 pm, he is back home, has a wash and snack and is at his study desk by 5.30.
He studies or does homework till 7.30 pm after which he has his dinner and is in
bed by 8.30,” she says.

While we don’t need to be as regimented as Anita, it is important to maintain

a schedule for your child , even if it is a more flexible one.

This not only helps with time management but also helps program your child’s
brain to know when he has to study.

And this in turn helps to increase the child’s concentration in studies! For
example, Rahul knows that after playing, he has to study and automatically gets
into “study mode” once play is done.

5. Naps and breaks boost concentration!

 Most children are able to concentrate best
after a good nights’ rest.

A power nap for twenty minutes after school or in the afternoon should also do
the trick to increase concentration.

All bathroom breaks, hunger pangs etc. should be taken care of before the study
time begins as they have the tendency to interfere with concentration.

A power nap for 20 minutes after school or in the

afternoon helps increase concentration.
Click to tweet
6. Divide bigger tasks into smaller tasks

Studying an entire chapter in one go is quite

difficult for a child. It always helps to break it down into pages or even
paragraphs so that the child feels a sense of accomplishment for finishing a small
task and this will motivate him to continue on.

This is true not just for studies but for household chores as well. Nita, mother of
8-year-old Ankit says, “I had been nagging Ankit to clean out his cupboard for
weeks but he never got round to doing it.”

“Then I started breaking it down and I’d tell him ‘today you need to do the
bottom shelf’ and sure enough, by the time I get back home in the evening, it
would have been done!”

7. Understand your child’s method of learning (visual, auditory, kinaesthetic)

All children learn in different ways . Some children process information easily when
they see it, some when they hear it and some when they have practical k nowledge
of it and can touch it.

It is important to understand which category your child falls under,

mostly because this will help them understand information better and the
learning will be more long term than short term.
 Visual – Children who are visual understand information better when they
are able to see it. In this case, the child will be able to concentrate better if
she is allowed to read the information and write it down as well.
 Making flash cards – If your child is learning spellings or even concepts,
writing them down on small cards and repeatedly showing them to her will
help her understand and learn these concepts that much faster.

 Drawing – Asking the child to draw what he is studying may also help him
visualize the material better. A bonus is that this also helps his fine motor
skills to develop.
 Doodling – Often, we see our children scribbling while studying and think
that they’re distracted but what really happens is that the doodling helps
them recall what they have been studying at that point and so remembering
it at a later stage becomes easier.
 Auditory – Children who learn better when they hear information are
auditory in nature.
 Reading aloud – Children who are auditory in nature learn better
by reading the material aloud or listening to someone else reading. In
this regard, they might find audio books more helpful than
paperback books.
 Music – Listening to music may also help these children increase
concentration in studies.
 Kinaesthetic – Children who are kinaesthetic need to be able to touch and
feel their subject matter to understand and process it better. For these
children, learning by practical applications may be more helpful than
reading aloud or writing.

“When my child was learning about planets, I took him to the planetarium
and when we got back home, we sat together and made a model of the solar
system and coloured it. Ever since then, he has never forgotten the order of
the planets or which planets have rings etc,” says Nina, mother of 5 -year-
old Prakash.
RELATED: The Simple Technique To Make Your Child Interested In Learning

8. Prepare your child for the next task

When your child is busy, tell him what he has

to do next, but allow a few minutes, till he stops and starts the new activity.

This helps, especially when a child is engaged doing something he likes and enjoys
doing, since there would be reluctance to stop what he is doing and start
something else.

9. Set short time goals for better concentration

 Set a time limit for the completion of a goal.
If it is studying, then you can say that a certain number of pages need to be done
within twenty minutes.

Keep in mind that the average time for an adult to concentrate completely is
about 42 minutes and so the concentration span of a child would be much less.

Therefore, it would be wise to have shorter time limits such as 15 minutes to 20

minutes.

Another thing to keep in mind is that while some children thrive under time
goals, other children might feel pressurized and may start feeling anxious and
lose focus.

10. Set up a reward system

 Rewards don’t necessarily have to be tokens
such as chocolates or toys.

They can also be in the form of praise or even further studying!

Says Anushka, mother of 7-year-old Mansi, “My daughter loves to solve maths
problems so as a reward for studying Hindi which she hates, I allow her to do a
page of sums.”

This is sure to help build and increase concentration, right?

11. Allow time for distractions

Kids are naturally energetic and exuberant.

Giving them time to vent out their energy once their time limit for a task is up
may actually help them focus better on the next task!
It would help if your child did something completely different during this time.

For example, Shantha, grandmother of 8-year-old Shifrah says, “When

I’m teaching my granddaughter spellings, we do 10 spellings at a time after which
I allow her to run or skate around the house for a minute or two. I find that this
helps her focus on the next 10 spellings.”

She finds that mixing a physical activity with a mental activity is very effective.

Giving time to vent out energy may help children

focus better on the next task!
Click to tweet

12. Use energy effectively

Some children have high energy in the

mornings while others have high energy in the evenings.

Studying or doing activities during this time will help your child focus better
on the task at hand.

Always start your child on the tougher activities during his high energy time.

As energy levels go down, you can always switch to a lighter activity.

This will help to increase concentration power!

13. Try deep breathing and imagery

Combining simple relaxation techniques such as deep breathing with positive

visual imagery helps the brain to improve or learn new skills.

For instance, you can ask a child to close her eyes and imagine that she is paying
attention in class.

In her imagination, what can she see?

What can she hear? What is distracting her?

You can further ask her to imagine how she would take care of those distractions.

Once she is able to clearly picture this, you will find that her behaviour at school
also changes!

Conclusion

Like any skill, concentration can be improved and made automatic. The trick is
to be consistent. These 13 tips to increase concentration power are a win/win
solution because they not only help improve concentration but also strengthen
the relationship that you have with your child.

Don’t forget to share these concentration tips with your friends &
family. Have we missed a point on how to increase concentration
power in kids? Do let us know which worked best for you & your
child, in the comments below.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

Concentration problems in children – major causes
How to handle hyperactive kids: 7 calming games & activities

Article originally published on – June 30, 2015, updated on – January 19, 2017

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About Dr. Shireen Stephen

This article has been written by Dr. Shireen Stephen, a Counselling Psychologist
at YourDOST. She holds a Ph.D. in Health and Industrial Psychology and an
M.Phil. and Masters in Applied Psychology. Over the last 10 years, she has
worked in the capacity of a counsellor, research scholar, editor, and lecturer. She
works with young adults to help them cope with lifestyle changes, family issues,
emotional issues, anger management, depression, relationship issues, etc. She
has conducted numerous online workshop modules on choosing the right life
partner.

20 Tips To Increase Your Child’s Appetite

 By Amrita Minocha
Nutrition

Increasing your children’s appetite can be tricky, especially if they find food
unappealing or are struggling to eat. However don’t stress, there are ways to make
them eat better.

Here are 20 suggestions for boosting a

healthy appetite in your little one:

1) Compulsory breakfast

Eating a good, healthy breakfast is bound to increase your child’s appetite.

A balanced breakfast boosts metabolism after the night ‘fast’ and gets the body
working for the day.

Ensure that breakfast is a compulsory meal in your household. It’s a tried and
tested formula, give it a shot!

2) Offer water 30 minutes before meal time

Children should have water first thing in the morning, even before milk. Also,
they should have water half an hour before meals. These basics help a lot!

3) Feed every two hours

Children who fuss over food because they’re not too hungry should be offered
food every couple of hours. The standard three meals may not be boosting their
digestive system enough to make them feel hungry. Regular meals once in two
hours will also help. Try it!

4) Snacks are meals

Snacks should be as good as meals if you want a better appetite.

Instead of a cookie, offer a sandwich; instead of chips, offer muesli or cereal.
Think of healthy replacements for snacks and notice the change in your child’s
appetite.

5) Peanut is not just any nut

Peanut is sometimes called the king of nuts for its appetite-boosting and protein-
building properties.

Incorporate it into your child’s food in the form of peanut butter or just fry it to
be eaten as crisps.

The next time your child fusses for chips, offer him/her fried peanuts. You’ll be doing
his appetite a favour.

6) Don’t make milk a meal

Many children, who have low appetites, suffer from what can be called the ‘too
much milk’ problem. When children have milk as fillers, appetisers, or snacks, it
kills their appetite for the next meal. Introduce dairy in othe r forms like cottage
cheese, yoghurt, or cream.
7) Offer favourite foods

For some children with low appetite, the very sight of food might be a problem.
If such is your child’s case, try offering his/her favourite foods initially to get the
metabolism running.
Healthy food can follow once your little one starts accepting the very idea of
eating.

8) Offer small bites

Small bites of food build metabolism, which in-turn, improves appetite.

Offer smaller bites of food to your children if you think they have reduced
appetite. Slowly, their want for food will increase.
You should continue offering small bites till they start eating on their own and
decide on their bite-size themselves.
RELATED: Handling Choking Hazards In Kids: 6 Tips For Parents

9) Yoghurt is a must

One cannot stress enough about how important yoghurt is for a child.
It’s a dairy product with healthy probiotics and calcium which are amazing for
the appetite and immunity of the child.

Yoghurt serves the purpose of a dessert as well.

RELATED: 10 Power Foods To Supercharge Your Child’s Immunity

10) Avoid pungent or strong food

Most children don’t enjoy extreme odours or overpowering tastes.

If low appetite is an issue with your child, check if your kitchen has food odours
and/or if your food has a strong taste of Indian masalas, garlic, and so on.
Eliminate these flavours. Chances are that your child will start eating properly.

11) Use appetising spices

Oregano, cinnamon, coriander, and fennel (leaves and seeds) are all spices and
herbs that aid in building an appetite. Add a dash of these here and there in your
child’s food. However, ensure that these are not too visibly garnished on their
plates.
12) Don’t make oily food

Traditional Indian homes have the tendency of offering ‘ghee-based’ food to

children.

Unlike popular belief, such foods kill their appetite.

Go easy on fatty products and dairy since these might be the reason why your
child has a low appetite.

13) Play/exercise more

It’s a common knowledge that playing sports or exercising improves appetite.

Don’t you think we forget this common idea when it comes to our children?
If your child has a declining appetite, increase play time. You will see the hunger
coming back!

14) If kids are too warm, they eat less

Yes, it’s true! If it’s too hot or suffocating in the house, appetite goes down. Place
your child’s high chair or dining table near an open window for some fresh air to
enter. You will notice the change.

15) Offer fresh lime juice

When your child fusses over food and says that he/she is not hungry, offer
sweetened fresh lime juice, instead of water. Lime improves digestion and
appetite.

16) Avoid stressful topics at meal times

Sometimes, parents discuss finances or plan the child’s school schedule during
meal times as spending time together is a rarity.

Having said that, avoid stressful or serious discussions during meal times. It kills
a child’s appetite.

Try talking about happy things and see him/her wipe the plates clean.

17) Increase the intake of zinc

Zinc helps in building appetite. Wheat bran, cashew nuts, and pumpkin seeds are
good for improving the level of zinc in the body. Try incorporating these into
your child’s meals or snacks. Check with your child’s doctor for zinc supplements
as well.

18) Try homemade remedies

Try remedies like ginger juice with honey and peppermint chutneys to improve
appetite. These can be made easily at home. They are great for the immune
system as well.

19) Keep a food journal

Where you note things they ate on good-food days.

Ideas that worked on those days can be used for future reference.
Doesn’t hurt if a retrial works its wonder again, does it?

20) Don’t skip dessert

Fruit-based desserts can help in building an appetite. They work towards

digestion and boost metabolism. Psychologically, fruit-based desserts attract
children to finish their meals faster. Best appetite-boosting fruits are berries,
grapes, and apples.

The Ultimate Parenting Guide To Make Children Sleep

 By Amrita Minocha

Child Development

Is your child not sleeping at night? We understand that it’s a heroic task to make
children sleep – more so, if your kid is a ball of energy , especially before bedtime.

By setting a consistent routine with the proven tips that we’ve collected, you can
rest assured that your house becomes less of a battlefield during bedtime!

Having a routine is important for children especially because they are physically
active all day long. Plus, a good night’s sleep helps in their brain development
and attention span.

Bonus: Don’t have time to read the rest? No worries. Download the free PDF version of The
Ultimate Parenting Guide To Make Children Sleep >>

Parenting = sleeplessness

“Sleeplessness is almost synonymous with parenting at least in those first two

years till our child is officially a toddler.” Dr Grace is a gynaecologist and
consulting paediatrician at a leading hospital in Raipur, dealing specifically with
issues surrounding the early years of parenting.
Every child is different. We cannot lure our child to sleep in the same way that our
grandmother lured our mother, our mom lured us, or our neighbour lures
his/her child.

Sleep journey of children

Dr Grace says that most infants give a tough time sleeping due to certain natural
reasons like hunger , discomfort, colic, and so on.

However, as they grow older, the reasons for staying up spring from the newly
acquired energy. Besides, they simply become very naughty!

So what do you do if your child looks for all the possible reasons to give you a
sleepless night? Check out the ultimate guide to make children sleep at night
(without turning your house into a battlefield!)

Sure-Fire Tricks and Ways To Make

Children Sleep Within Minutes

1) Choose a sleep training method to put your child to sleep

There are various sleep-training methods that you can follow to make children
sleep. Here are a few:

 No-tears method: sing lullabies, pat, and rock until the baby is
asleep

Here’s how to make babies sleep better — the no-tears method! A well-known
method of sleep training, this one by Elizabeth Pantley is well popularised by
Indian families.

This method involves lullabies, patting, and rocking your child to a point at
which he/she feels sleepy. Parents help their child reach the point where he/she
will fall off asleep. In short, it’s an assisted sleeping technique.

 Co-sleeping with your little one: improves sleep for both parents
and children

Co-sleeping is a method where parents and their child sleep together on the same
bed. Your child’s bedtime is your bedtime since you tuck into bed at the same
time. Co-sleeping is a common method in many Indian families.

However, under this method, one needs to make sure that the time of sleep for a
child is earlier than that of an adult. Co-sleeping should not disrupt the schedule
of your child as that will add to his/her sleeping woes.
  Cry-it-out before bedtime: teach your child to independently fall
asleep

Does your child cry while sleeping or right before bedtime? Then try this to make
them sleep! This is a western technique where the baby is put into his/her crib
and tucked into sleep on his/her own. Your child cries for some time, but after a
point settles himself/herself to sleep.

A point to understand under this method is that when your baby cries for you,
instead of immediately reaching out to him/her, you let the moment pass. If your
child is inconsolable even after a considerable amount of time , reach out, pacify, check
if there is no discomfort or pain. Then, explain that it’s bedtime and he/she
needs to sleep, after which leave the room.

Make sure that the room and crib arrangements are child-friendly and safe.

 Mixed bag technique – if nothing else works!

If your child is not sleeping properly using any of the above methods, then go for
the mixed bag technique! Letting your child cry for a bit, soothing him/her for a
bit, then again letting him/her fall off to sleep is what we term as a ‘mixed bag’ of
sleep techniques.

Parents may mix all the known techniques to help their child fall off asleep. The
end motive is making your child sleep properly, isn’t it?

2) Calming foods – feed them right!

A sure-shot method to make children sleep – feed them right ! “What is fattening
for us is calming for them,” says Dr. Grace amid chuckles. She is talking about
high carbohydrate, amino acid-based foods that are known to lead children into a
deep snooze.
Amino acids induce calm sleep and make children sleep better:

“The most common amino acid is serotonin and eating carb-rich food releases
this amino acid into our bodies,” explains Dr Grace. She adds that spending a
good time with family and friends also helps release the same amino acid in our
bodies; but that’s beside the point.

Dr Grace is implying that foods that release serotonin are good for children to
consume before bedtime. Serotonin, melatonin, tryptophan are amino acids that
have a calming effect on our body. Magnesium, Calcium, and Potassium (to a
certain extent) induce sleep.

Try these sleep-inducing food options for children:

 Warm milk or cheese-based dinner – it relaxes the nerves

Milk contains amino acids and calcium that relax the nerves. A glass of warm
milk or a cheese-based dinner will make children sleep better through the night.

 Rice and whole wheat – proven to calm the body at night

Most Indian families encourage a chapati or rice-based dinner, which is
scientifically proven to be one of the best ways to calm the body at night.
According to Dr. Grace, feeding children carbohydrates through whole wheat,
rice, or bran helps them sleep better.

 Carb-rich foods like bananas, potatoes, oats and egg – helps

inducing sleep!

Bananas (as it is or a milkshake), potatoes (fries, stir fried, boiled), oats, eggs are
all carb-rich foods that work well as dinner options for children.

Foods that are a no-no before bedtime

 Excessive sugar/honey causes something called a ‘sugar rush’ or adrenaline

rush, which excites the body and makes it more active. Not something we
want before bedtime, yes?
 Very heavy food (oily, deep fried) will make your child sluggish, but not
necessarily induce sleep. Food should be rich in carbohydrates, but not very
heavy so as to trouble your child’s digestive system.

RELATED: 20 Tips To Increase Your Child’s Appetite

3) Sleeping time according to age

“The time to sleep is as important as the process you follow to help your c hild
sleep,” says Dr Grace. She suggests that when parents struggle to put their
children to sleep, they should try different timings and routine to see which one
suits their child best. Make children sleep based on specified sleep hours by age.

Since one-size-fits-all doesn’t apply, the time at which your child is made to sleep
should not be blindly followed from another child’s routine. However, when
making a decision about time, keep these factors in mind:

 Every child needs at least 10-12 hours of sleep. If the child is used to an
afternoon nap, he/she will sleep for a lesser number of hours at night.
 Bedtime should be the same everyday. Keeping a fixed schedule helps the
biological clock.
 Required amount of sleep varies according to the child’s age.

4) Repeatedly remind your child about bedtime – it informs the brain to relax the

body

“Finish your milk, then jammies, tigger stories, and then bed.” My cousin,
mother of a one-and-a-half-year old, is very communicative with her baby.
Almost an hour before bedtime, she starts announcing that they have to be ready
to sleep, these are the steps they will take, this is what they will read, and so on.
The child listens, alert to her mother’s incessant instructions before bedtime.

How do these reminders help?

Dr Grace says that children thrive on their parent’s approvals. They enjoy when
parents agree to something and enjoy it with them. These bedtime reminders
have the same logic.

 When you tell your child that both of you are gearing for bedtime, they
want to follow you.
 Also, they are less scared of routine if you do the process with them.
 Reminders also help trigger the brain functions that it’s time to relax the
body.

Gentle yet firm reminders reinstate the fact that you’re the boss and tantrums
will not help before bedtime. That’s important, no?

5) Get rid of night-time fears – use calming activities to relax your child

Children are afraid of the dark, suffer nightmares, and get startled by loud
sounds. If you’re unable to get your child to sleep well, check for these fears and
worries:

 After your child sleeps, sit next to him/her, and observe if he/she
experiences restless sleep—talking while sleeping or any agitation during
sleep. “ These may be signs of excessive fatigue or screen time,” explains Dr
Grace.
 If your child is unable to sleep because the lighting of the room is
disturbing or due to some sounds, fix those problems immediately.
However, if the fears are imaginary, talk to your child about them and
reassure him/her that you will be in the same room, next to him/her,
through the night. Once reassured, children sleep better.
 If your child is bullied at home or in school, night-time fears might be quite
common. Hear your child out during bedtime, look for signs when your
child is asleep and then address them in the morning. Children usually talk
in their sleep if something is bothering them. You can keep a track of the
same.
Dr Grace says that fears also arise if the child has a very active day or set of days.
Children should have easy hours during the day in which they simply relax, enjoy
a book, or sit and do some relaxing activity. If your child is not over agitated and
if a set time for bed is followed, fears can be alleviated.

6) Remove distractions – make the bedroom a peaceful haven for sleep

Namita, a mother of two, lists a few physical changes that parents can make to
make children sleep better.

 Get dark curtains/shades in the bedroom where the child sleeps.

 Remove ALL radiation from the room, cell phones included to make
children sleep peacefully.
 Don’t watch TV in the bedroom where the child sleeps. Preferably, don’t
keep a TV in the bedroom.
 Ensure that the mattress is not too soft or too hard. Very soft mattresses
cause posture problems that may disturb your child’s sleep.
 Even in summer, children do not enjoy a very cold room. Set the
temperature of the room accordingly.

In short, make bedroom a safe and comfortable haven for your child to sleep in
and be assured he/she will sleep well!
7) What Not to expect – kids aren’t like you!

Dr. Grace says the above and assertively adds that parents assume that since they
can sleep as and when they want, children have the same capacity.

 Children have more energy than us, so they need more time to channelise
it. An uneventful/restful day will mean that your child will not sleep well at
night. Get him/her to use the energy.
 A child who has napped till late afternoon will not fall off to sleep early at
night. Don’t expect the same.
 If there are guests at home, especially with kids, don’t expect your child to
follow routine. Expect and accept tantrums at these times.
 Children can’t accept a new bed/bedroom readily so don’t expect them to
sleep properly in a new place/city that you’re visiting. The same applies to
making your child sleep in different rooms in your own house.
 Children don’t sleep as per your schedule. Keep their schedules different.

So basically, don’t have unrealistic hopes. They’ll land you with a sleepless night.

8) Keep tab of cold/blocked nose – causes breathing difficulty and sleepless nights

If children have difficulty breathing, even a little, they cannot sleep properly.

 Dr Grace says that if children are not sleeping well, it may be due to the
ventilation in the room that causes irregular breathing.
 A simple cold may also be a hindrance to your child’s peaceful sleep.

Check for these issues of your toddler is giving you sleepless nights.

9) The importance of sleep in child development

“Sleep is extremely important for overall child development,” says Dr. Grace. If a
child is sleep deprived or is not sleeping properly, he/she will show various overt
symptoms. These might later lead to psychological subtle symptoms which can be
difficult to cure.
  The overt or visible symptoms are overactive behaviour, irritability, low or
no attention span, napping at odd times or during playtime, low or erratic
appetite, nail biting, and general fatigue.
 The psychological problems or subtle symptoms will be hormonal. Lack of
sleep will convert the child’s irritability into innate anger. Such a child may
bully or vent anger in unacceptable ways.
 Children also release cortisol, the commonly known hormone that causes
stress and restlessness. This hormone starts getting produced in excessive
quantities if sleep requirements are not met.

10) Calming bedtime routines – to foster healthy sleeping habits!

“We all know that making the child restful starts a couple of hours before
bedtime but how many of us actually do that?” Dr Grace asks pinpointing at the
bad TV and play habits that most kids follow before bedtime.

Too much TV or active play keeps the brain excited that leads to bad sleep habits.
We have a bunch of healthy sleep habits that will work wonders to make children
sleep!

Bonus: Don’t have time to read the rest? No worries. Download the free PDF version of The
Ultimate Parenting Guide To Make Children Sleep >>

a) Make a bedtime schedule – and don’t forget to stick to it!

“The key is the word routine.” Pranali, a freelance recruitment consultant and a
mother of one, believes that deciding and sticking to a fixed time is the main
ingredient of a good bedtime routine and makes children sleep without any
hassle.
“You have to follow a strict timeline because isn’t that what a ‘routine’ is all
about?” But how do we do that?

Vary the child’s sleep routine

Children can be made to follow a sleep routine where they take a power nap in
the afternoon and sleep a little later at night. Another technique to make children
sleep and the most advised, is for the child to go to bed early (say between 7.30-8
pm) and wakes up 11-12 hours later.

For this schedule, if your child needs 11-12 hours of sleep, then the time for bed
has to be planned in accordance with his/her school timings. “My son has to
leave home at quarter to eight in the morning so his bedtime is 7.30 pm,”
explains Pranali.

Too early or too late?

Sometimes, kids don’t follow the bedtime routine that we decide for them and
refuse to sleep at the prescribed time. Pranali says that there are pointers that
you can follow in this scenario. Put your child to bed before he/she gets cranky.

Over-tired children don’t fall asleep easily and even if they do, they are
uncomfortable through the night. Follow the next 8 points (b-i) as well, if you’re
trying to build a timetable for your child and need to help him/her sleep as per
schedule in your child’s sleep routine.

b) Sing lullabies – it regulates baby sleep patterns and heart beats

Research says that mothers, even in 2000 BC, would sing lullabies to soothe and
make their children sleep well. It’s a well-established fact that singing relaxes
nerves and sets the mood for sleeping. “Children love routine and repetitions.
What if that comes via a comforting song?” asks Pranali rhetorically.
You can sing your child’s favourite lullaby or rhyme to pacify him/her for
bedtime. “Lullabies are best for the emotional connection between mother and
child before and during bedtime,” says Dr Thakrey from Andheri, Mumbai.

Make the connection

 10-15 minutes before bedtime, sit/lie down with your child or cradle
him/her (for babies) and sing.
 Make sure that you choose a quiet corner of the house or it’s just the two of
you in the bedroom.
 Let/him her hum along if he/she likes.
 Sometimes, children ask questions or want you to explain the song to them.
Softly answer them and then continue singing.
 Lullabies are soft melodious numbers and not tunes that will excite
children further. You can ensure the tone of your voice is soft and relaxing.
 Don’t change songs every few minutes or every day. Sing the same lullaby
for a few days at a stretch.

And as Pranali says, children love repetitions! Here are a couple of famous
lullabies you can sing:

 Hindi: Chanda maama door ke, Pue pakaye poor ke…

 English: Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop , When the wind blows, the cradle
will rock…

I’m sure you’ve heard of several lullabies in your mother tongue. Time to give
them a shot!
c) Give a comforting hug – it reduces stress and provides high quality sleep

“They never really leave the womb.” Dr Thakrey says so while talking about the
emotional connect between mothers and their children. He believes that children
crave their mother’s touch especially during morning and night. It’s one of
the best ways to appease and relax them.

Physical touch is paramount. Hug and snuggle to make the bedtime moments
count. “This also sets a routine in the child’s mind plus gives him/her happy
sleep!” he explains. “The feeling stays with them through the night.” Noella, a
child counsellor at a Mumbai-based convent, talks about the importance of
physical touch to relax the mind and senses of a child and to make them sleep
without trouble.

She believes that the feeling stays with them for much longer than that moment.
In fact, it helps avoid disturbed sleep and nightmares. So at bedtime, try the
universal balm–the hug!

d) Dress for sleep – suiting up with pyjamas will signal it’s bedtime!

“Just like you dress for playtime, birthday parties, football, etc., you should dress
for sleep,” Noella says that a good bedtime routine should involve changing into
a nightdress. “Wearing pyjamas would automatically make my little one yawn,”
she giggles while reminiscing about her now 20-year-old.

Make babies sleep with ease using this technique!

Some pointers from Noella

 Children often crib about changing and wearing a night suit before bedtime
so you ensure that their bedtime clothes are of their favourite colour or
pattern.
 In case there are tantrums before bedtime, make your child choose his/her
nightwear from options of three or four. Giving him/her an open closet to
choose from increases the fuss. We don’t want increased tantrums right
before bedtime, do we?
 Use a fabric softener to rinse your child’s nightwear after a wash. The
softener not only softens but also adds perfume to clothing which most kids
like.

If nothing works, change into your night wear and lead by example!

e) Make loo-time compulsory – empty bladders reduce anxiety and put an end to

nightmares!

Well, this one goes unsaid unless you like to clean a wet bed in the middle of the
night. Besides, imagine waking up to a howling wet baby?

“Children do not realise they have to use the toilet before slee ping so it has to be
made compulsory within their bedtime routine,” says Pranali.
  Her now five-year-old would often wet his bed and that would cause a lot of
middle-of-the-night-stress for the kid as well as the parents. This is till she
decided to make him use the toilet just before bedtime and then again, two
hours after he had gone off to sleep.
 Although an after sleep washroom trip does not qualify under bedtime
routine, it is something you can do to make your child’s sleep more
peaceful and relaxed.

“Two trips to the washroom would ensure a restful and dry night,” chuckles
Pranali.

No bad dreams

Dr Thakrey adds a more scientific perspective to this point when he says that an
almost-empty bladder reduces sleep-time anxiety and bad dreams. He has
diagnosed many children with problems of bed-wetting because their bedtime
routine does not involve a compulsory trip to the bathroom.

Therefore to make your bedtime routine a successful affair, make your child use
the washroom just before getting into bed. Simple as that!

Read bedtime stories – it ensures soothing and relaxing sleep

“Reading thrills ALL children.”

Noella says this with so much assertion that it gives me a feeling she has actually
checked with every child in the world. But then she’s not wrong, is she?

There’s a reason why bedtime stories are so popular and every paediatrician
worth his/her salt advocates them for a good bedtime schedule.

Bedtime story routine

 When it’s bedtime and your other scheduled activities are done, tuck
yourself and your child into bed, and read to him/her.
 Get your child to choose the story he/she would like to read—children as
young as six months can choose a book for themselves.
 It can be the same story everyday or a new one of his/her liking. In either
case, the focus should be on reading pleasant and positive stories and that
aspect needs to be checked before buying books and not before reading
them.
 Read softly and go easy on excessive animation. This will soothe and relax
him/her and before bedtime.
 Most children have questions around the stories you read and you should
answer them in soft and delicate tones. Also, don’t go overboard with
explanations since we’re trying to relax their minds.
 Once the stories are over, you will notice a more relaxed child who will
easily drift off to sleep. Mostly children fall off to sleep mid-story and that’s
as ideal as ideal can get. Isn’t it?

g) Chit-chat once tucked in – it will ease their fears and provide peace of mind

“Children often speak their innermost feelings when the ambience is quiet and
they are tucked with their parents in bed.” Dr Thakrey infers that while we want
our children to relax before bedtime, it is important to hear them out before they
sleep.
  Talk to your child about the day that went by and listen to him/her intently.
This will ease his/her fears (if any) and unburden him/her of information
he/she was keeping from you.
 Listening to him/her will give you peace of mind as well.

This is a good way to set a bedtime pattern or toddler sleep routine for a good
night’s sleep!

h) Send the bedtime message through a massage – a proven physical stress-buster

“Touch is the most basic amongst all needs.” Dr Thakrey gives quite an assertive
opinion while talking about touch therapy and massages for children—especially
before bedtime.

A massage is not only a physical stress-buster, but also an emotional release.

“Every child should compulsorily be massaged before bedtime, at least till seven
years of age!”

Soothe them

 Many parents rely on soft massages to lure their children to sleep.

Massages are a good way to soothe a child and convey the idea that it’s
bedtime.
 Massages help the child grow by stimulation of the nervous as well as
cellular systems. In simple words, massages make a child healthier.
  A fatigued child can easily be relaxed by a simple foot massage and then not
much cajoling will be required to put him/her to bed.
 A wash/bath can precede a massage to set a nice bedtime routine for your
little one.

So, send the bedtime message through a bedtime massage! This is sure to make
children sleep blissfully!

i) Keep gadget distractions at bay – gadgets ruin sleep patterns and harm

development

“Wi-Fi makes you stay up!” Dr Thakrey and Noella had both given similar
opinions when it came to Wi-Fi and electronics affecting a child’s sleep
routine. “Wi-Fi is electromagnetic radiation that is very harmful for child
development,” says Dr Thakrey.

This is a known fact but what is ignored is that when the Wi-Fi is constantly
running in your house, especially near the child’s bedroom, it affects his/her
sleeping pattern.

“It can cause insomnia and disrupted sleep,” concludes the doctor. Noella says
that a bedtime routine should involve switching off all the electronic
distractions around the house.
A few rules

 If other older members within a typical joint family are uncomfortable

changing their routine around the child’s bedtime, parents can ensure that
at least the bedroom is secure and devoid of these harmful radiations.
 A good way is to maintain a separate switch for the Wi-Fi within the
bedroom and switching it off before bedtime.
 Keeping your phones outside the bedroom will also reduce radiation within
the room.
 Goes unsaid that the television and sound systems should be switched off
and the room should be made quiet and peaceful before bedtime.

By taking these few easy yet important measures, you can set a healthy sleep
timetable and make children sleep without any trouble at all. All he/she needs is
a little assistance from your side and you need to maintain a positive bedtime
discipline. That’s it, you’re sorted!

Is your toddler giving you sleeping woes? What is the bedtime

toddler sleep routine that you follow for your child? Share your
plans to make babies sleep better. Comment below!

We asked some parents on Twitter about their best advice to make children s leep
and here’s what they had to say

40 Fantastic Stories For Kids To Read In 2019

 By Manasa
Child Development

Children love stories. It’s true!

And every child enjoys it for different reasons – be it travelling to magical

worlds, learning new concepts, going on adventures, etc.

With stories, the possibilities are truly limitless — your child can join Tintin as
he travels the world, solves mysteries and nabs crooks; your child can study at
Hogwarts and learn about life through the magical world of Harry Potter; your
child can go back in time and become an active participant at Akbar’s court.

The list goes on!

RELATED: Storytelling – 17 Incredible Ways To Tell Great Stories To Your

Child

Perhaps the best way to help a child explore, express, understand emotions,
problems, problem-solving, habits, and much more is via stories. Be it a quick
bedtime tale or a grandma fable, each story helps a child enter a completely
different magical and imaginative world that has no boundaries.
Let us now have a look at 40 such popular and amazing stories for

kids:

Short Stories For Kids

Most children end up finding one or two stories that they love, and end up
listening to/reading them over and over again. Short stories with very few
characters, a simple setting and theme are the easiest to remember.

In fact, it also helps children enhance their literacy skills. Simple three and four
letter words are put together to form such stories. They can be heard,
comprehended and read by the child with ease. Here are some short story
examples –

1. Friends Forever – This story is about the friendship between a frog and a
mouse and shows how your actions against others can backfire on yourself.
 This story will teach your child about the African saying “Don’t dig too deep
a pit for your enemy, you may fall into it yourself”.
2. The Prince And The Snake – This story follows the journey of a prince
whose body has been invaded by a devilish snake and how he manages to
escape from the clutches of the snake.
3. Lion And The Mouse – This story explains the proverb “Small acts of
kindness will be rewarded greatly” and how anyone regardless of their size
and appearance, can make a major impact in certain situations. This tale
can teach your child to appreciate others and create a helping tendency in
their minds.
4. Hare And The Tortoise – Everyone is aware about this story where the hare
is defeated by the tortoise in a race proving the proverb “Slow an d steady
wins the race”. But the story doesn’t end there as they eventually have
another race! And it consists of a number of morals your child should learn
about.

Moral Stories For Kids

Children enjoy reading about different characters and story plots. But how often
do they learn something from these tales?

What if your child could be taught good manners or habits through these stories,
that can be applied in their everyday lives? In fact, the way a child behaves, talks
and responds to a situation can be directly influenced by simple, moral stories.
Here are some of the most popular and easy to comprehend moral stories –

1. The Golden Goose – This story is about a farmer who had a goose that was
laying one golden egg every day. As the story goes on, it focuses on the
themes of greed and how it can ruin anyone’s life.
2. The Ant And The Grasshopper – This story is based on the concept of
working hard in the present for a prosperous future and it features a
hardworking ant and a lazy grasshopper. Through this tale, children will
understand the need, importance and benefits of hard work.
3. The Honest Woodcutter – This tale is based on the moral “Honesty is the
best policy” and involves a poor woodcutter who loses his axe in a river. It
shows children how they will get appreciated and rewarded if they live with
honesty.
4. The Greedy Crocodile – Based on the theme of greed, this story describes
an encounter involving a boy, a crocodile, and a rabbit. This tale teaches
children about the essence of the proverb – “a bird in hand is worth two in
a bush”
 5. The Boy Who Cried Wolf – This story proves that nobody will believe a liar,
even when he speaks the truth. The main plot is centered around how the
habit of lying affects a shepherd boy.
6. The Ugly Duckling – This tale deals with the concept of apperance, and
emphazizes on the fact that beauty does not mean superority. It portrays
the struggles of an ugly duckling and the challenges faced by it due to its
appearance.

Vidya Ragu, a psychologist, learning & development expert, tells us about the
crucial role that stories play in the lives of our children – and how you can
become a great storyteller! Watch the video below for details:

Inspirational Stories For Kids

Stories about great personalities, their struggles and achievements are a

wonderful source of encouragement for children. In fact, your child will learn
that no barrier is a dead-end and you can achieve any dream the way Malala or
Abdul Kalam did!

Reading these stories gives children a chance to learn new things and build a
strong character. Moreover, motivational stories can inspire your child to pick up
a book and feel excited about reading. Here are some lovely motivational stories
for kids –

1. Anne Frank – Venture into this sad yet inspiring diary of Anne Frank, a
jewish victim of the Holocaust in Germany, as she explains her struggles
during the Second World War. This will show children how traumatising
war can be and why they must strive towards world peace.
2. Mahatma Gandhi – Take a look at the biography of the Father of our
Nation and revisit the struggles he had to endure to help India become
Independent. This biography will give children a glimpse of historical
events that eventually resulted in our independence.
3. I Am Malala – This is an inspiring tale of Malala, a young woman activist
who fought for the right to education for women in Pakistan. Becoming the
youngest Nobel Peace Prize laureate, speaks leaps and bounds of her
 contributions and achievements and teaches children all over the world
that anyone can make a difference.

Copyright – Arun Tiwari/Universities Press

4. Wings of Fire – Teach your child the motivational ideologies of one of the
greatest role models of our country with A.P.J. Abdul Kalam’s “Wings of
Fire”. This book will make children understand about Insipration,
Motivation, Partriotism, Knowledge and much more.
5. Goodnight Stories For Rebel Girls – This awe-inspiring collection of tales,
chronicles the endearing journeys of some of the greatest wome n
personalities who played a part in empowering women all over the globe.

Bedtime Stories For Kids

Bedtime stories are great to relax the child’s mind! They have simple characters,
plots and settings. And additionally, bedtime stories are used to calm th e child’s
mind and help them sleep peacefully through the night. Research has shown that
they dream about the rich characters and recall their actions.

For a parent, in today’s quick world, a nice bedtime story is an excellent way of
building a bond with their young ones. In fact, you can push your child to predict
the end, to suggest alternate endings, to describe the character and summarize
the tale at the end. This will help their memory and creative thinking. Here are
some popular bedtime stories –
 1. A City Rat And A Village Rat – This story draws a parallel between the
peaceful nature of living in villages versus the stressful nature of city l ife
with rats as central characters. By observing the portrayals of two different
lifestyles, children can start to understand about the real world.
2. Princess And The Pea – This fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen, deals
with a prince who is in search of a princess and how he gets to meet her.
3. 5-Min Stories– This collection of stories features simple daily-life scenarios
and will capture your child’s attention in 300 seconds with its wit and
storylines.

RELATED: 10 Innovative & Practical Tips To Teach Your Child To Read

Here’s a famous story that Flintobox recreated with colourful illustrations and
animations! Your child is sure to love it

Adventure Stories For Kids

There is no better way to get your child to be more curious and intellectually
stimulated because adventure stories are generally filled with a thrilling plot,
maybe some strong characters and a diverse setting. Moreover, the intricate plot,
with twists and turns, act as a stimulus.

It makes the child want to know more, predict the next move, pick up clues,
connect the dots and solve problems. Children need to have a good and fully -
functional coping system by the age of ten. They need to be strong and
independent enough to solve their own problems without a lot of support from
peers or parents.

Adventure stories with strong protagonists help children make mature decisions
and focus better. Here are some must-read adventure stories:
 Copyright – J.K.Rowling/Bloomsbury

1. The Harry Potter Series – This 7-part book series, by J.K.Rowling

chronicles the life of a young wizard, Harry Potter, and his friends
Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. It predominantly features Harry’s
struggle against the main antagonist of the series – Lord Voldemort.
2. The Famous Five– Check out this classic collection of novels from Enid
Blyton, featuring various adventure stories that the lead characters Julian,
Dick and Anne, George and their dog Timmy face.
3. The Secret Seven– Enid Blyton brings us the entertaining tale of a secret
society of kids looking to solve crimes, led by Peter with his sister Janet
and their friends Jack, Colin, George, Pam and Barbara along with their
golden spaniel, Scamper.
4. Tintin– Set in the 20th century, this collection follows the journey of
Tintin, a courageous young Belgian reporter and the adventures that he
embarks on with his dog Snowy.
5. Complete Adventures of Feluda– This Fiction series created by Satyajit
Ray, features Feluda, a detective from Bengal and the mysteries that he
solves. Check out this interesting collection chronicling the journey of the
Indian Sherlock Holmes.

PRO TIP: Activity boxes such as Flintobox also provide exciting storybooks
based on different themes and concepts. Every month, a box packed with
enriching activities and an adventurous story will be packed and shipped to your
doorstep! For more information on Flintobox activities, click here >
Funny Stories For Kids

When children watch a funny movie clip or cartoon, they never tend to recall the
underlying story behind the clip. They take the amusing anecdote for granted,
laugh and move on. But in the case of a story, the valuable lessons hidden inside
these funny books are hard to miss.

They bring out values and morals in a fun, entertaining and educational manner.
Many parents believe that funny stories are filled with silly pictures and
characters, but this is far from the truth. A lot of research goes into putting
together a book for a child.

As an adult, we might not notice the learning element in these funny stories, but
children often connect well with the images, characters, and anecdotes. Here are
some funny stories –

1. Foolish Imitation– This tale involves the attempts of a foolish crow to

imitate every aspect of a hawk. The major theme of this story is the
importance of originality and explains to children that it’s better to be
yourself than to mimic others.
2. The Judge Monkey– The crux of this story features two cats fighting over a
loaf of bread. This story proves the fact that it is better to sh are instead of
possessive quarrelling.
 3. Funny Bedtime story examples– Check out this interesting collection of
stories filled with humour to make sure that your child feels happy an d
light hearted before bedtime.

Indian Folk Tales

India is a land of rich culture and diversity. And with this rich culture comes
some beautiful stories too. Some stories are based on real characters, like kings
or famous people.

While some other stories are inspired by different communities and beliefs.
Parents can choose from a range of amazing Indian folk tales and get their kids
excited about story-time.

1. Panchatantra – This is an ancient collection of stories (originally in

Sanskrit). The stories that form the Panchatantra always consist of animal
characters and every story comes with a moral. Pancha means Five, and
Tantra means principle, and true to its name, there is a learning in every
story.
 2. Tenali Raman – Tenali Raman, was the legendary Telugu poet and advisor
of the King Krishnadevaraya. All the stories involve the two characters,
their adventures together and how cleverly Tenali Raman solves the
trickiest of issues. It is a fun and educational read for every ch ild and
almost all stories come with a moral too.
3. Akbar & Birbal – Birbal who was an advisor in the court of the Emperor
Akbar, was known for his intellect, wit and sense of humour. In all the
stories, Akbar places a problem in front of Birbal, and Birbal cleverly finds
a solution. He wins hearts and admiration every day. Children can learn a
lot about the Mughal dynasty and Indian rulers too, through these stories.

Fairy Tale Stories

Filled with characters like dwarfs, fairies, gnomes, mermaids and talking
animals, fairy tales are some of the most popular stories among kids. These
stories help children enter a fantasy world with infinite possibilities, multiple
characters and almost always, a happy ending.

Fantasy and fictional stories help develop the creative side of a child’s brain.
Children dealing with issues, anxiety and learning disabilities, find comfort in
fairy tales. They use their imagination, picture multiple characters and express
their thoughts better.
 Copyright – Aesop/Barnes and Noble

1. Cinderella, Snow White, Little Red Riding Hood – These are some of the
most popular fairy tales of all time and the best part about these stories is
that there are so many different versions which lets you revisit the same
story in different manners.
2. Aesop’s Fables – Aesop’s Fables is a collection of fables credited to Aesop, a
slave and storyteller believed to have lived in ancient Greece between 620
and 564 BCE.
3. Grimm’s Fairy Tales – Also known as the Children’s and Household Tales,
this is a collection of fairy tales first published in 1812 by the Grimm
brothers, Jacob and Wilhelm.

Horror Stories For Kids

Life isn’t always about rainbows and butterflies. Some children enjoy the
occasional scares, ghosts and chills down the spine. The stories are written in a
simple and effective manner. If your child is bored of the regular happy ending
fairy tales, then this could be a new genre to try.

As children see themselves are protagonists, and later enact out these stories,
horror stories teach children to be powerful, face their fears and defeat evil. Here
are some good horror stories and books –
 Copyright – R.L.Stine/Scholastic

1. Goosebumps – With scary puppets, werewolves, monsters and so much

more inside, this series by R.L. Stine will send a chill down everybody’s
spine. This collection of stories will help children understand the fact that
the fearless can survive any danger when they make the right decisions.
2. No Way Out– This story features Mike, who takes up a challenge of going
inside a haunted house. It also features additional stories such as “The
Price of Friendship” and “Hobgoblin Horror”.
3. Horror story examples– This collection of stories covers a variety of themes
and sub-genres, based on horror from renowned authors. It also features
the audio versions of the stories that you can play to your child.

Indian Mythological Stories

Stories from our ancestors have been passed on to us. Stories about good vs evil,
demons, gods, bravery, kings, love, sacrifice, friendship and so much more.
 Copyright – C.Rajagopalachari/Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan

Indian mythological stories are a combination of fantasy, fiction and are often based on well-
known characters, generally kings and gods.

1. Mahabharata – It is an age old mythological epic about two clans, the

Kauravas and Pandavas. It is an enjoyable read, filled with unique
characters, wars, life-lessons and anecdotes.
2. Ramayana – It is the story of Lord Rama. The story is about his valour,
bravery, strength and determination to bring back his kidnapped wife, Sita,
from the demon king, Ravana.
3. Also, you could find multiple mythological books for children – like
Ganesha, Prahalad, Shiva, Krishna and friends, Hanuman, Indian festivals
and much more. All these stories have a few things in common – the power
of good, the destruction of evil, the importance of making good choices and
loving, respecting and protecting families and friends at all times.

Storytelling plays a crucial role in the overall development and growth of a child.
Narrating a tale or helping a child read a story has been a parent -child fun
activity since time immemorial.

A story not only instills virtues in your child, it also helps them confidently enter
a world of dreams and endless possibilities. Help your child enhance his/her
listening, memory and communication skills through such wonderful stories.
Do you believe that stories are important for children? Drop us a
comment with your thoughts.

27 Famous Panchatantra Stories Your Child Will Thoroughly Enjoy

 By Gayathri G

Child Development

Here’s something we can both agree on…

If you grew up in India, you would’ve either heard or read stories from the
Panchatantra series at some point in your life.

It’s a given!

Whether in English or your mother tongue, be it about the musical donkey, or

the hare that outwitted the lion, you would’ve experienced these classic stories in
some form or other.

And the reason is simple — the Panchatantra stories are all-encompassing! It has
everything!
Morals, values, wit, humour, animals, life lessons , everything — which is probably
why almost every parent ensures that their child gets introduced to it. Th ese
ancient Indian fables have endured the test of time and have been passed from
generation to generation to where we are today.

So if you’re one such parent, and if you’re wondering where to start or how to
begin, we’ve got your back! We’ve put together an interesting set of 27
Panchatantra stories through which your child will learn the ways of life.

But before we head right in, here’s a backstory to tell your little one!

RELATED: 40 Fantastic Stories For Kids To Read This Year

‘Panch’ means five and ‘Tantra’ means principles — and true to its name, the
author of the series Vishnu Sharma segregated Panchatantra stories into 5 main
categories. And the story goes this way…

King Amarashakti, who previously ruled Mahilaropya in Southern India, had 3

sons who were a bit too dull to rule the kingdom. So to sculpt them into suitable
rulers and guide them in the right path, he appointed Vishnu Sharma, a learned
scholar. On realising that the sons were too dim-witted to understand his
teachings, he wrote them down as stories (The Panchatantra stories) instead.
And these stories cover 5 concepts:

Book One: Mitra-bedha – The Loss Of Friends

Book Two: Mitra-labha – The Winning of Friends
Book Three: Kakolukiyum – On Crows And Owls
Book Four: Labdhapranasam – Loss Of Gains
Book Five: Apariksitakarakam – Ill-Considered Action

Now let’s take a look at some Panchatantra

stories from each of these sets:

Mitra-bedha

The Monkey And The Wedge:

This one’s a classic! A monkey is taught the lesson of minding its own business
when it pokes its nose, removes a wooden log and gets trapped!

The Jackal And The Drum:

The Brave always triumph – and the Jackal in this story shows us exactly how!
On hearing a mysterious sound in the forest, the Jackal, instead of running away,
investigates its true source to find it quite harmless!
The Lion, Camel, Jackal And Crow:

Don’t trust easily! Through carnivores in the jungle, this simple story st resses on
how to be wary of others’ ulterior motives and what happens when you trust too
easily.

The Crane And The Crab:

What happens when things go wrong? Use your wit and quick! This interesting
Panchatantra story is about how a smart Crane takes advantage of the innocent
sea creatures – and how only quick-thinking can save you in certain situations.

The Rat That Ate Iron:

An eye for an eye may make the world go blind, however, sometimes, a tit -for-tat
policy sure comes in handy! Here’s the story of a smart merchant who cleverly
uses this policy to get back his iron balance from a wicked merchant. Your child
is sure to enjoy this!
Right-Mind And Wrong-Mind:

Your child will learn a lot from this story where a wicked man faces consequences
for his evil actions, while a virtuous man learns not to be naive in the company of
others.

The Tale Of The Three Fish:

This riveting Panchatantra story talks about how your actions during times of
danger can save you. When three fish were faced by a situation, 2 saved
themselves while the other stayed back to its unfortunate death.
Mitra-labha

The Hermit And The Mouse:

This interesting story talks about how a sage outwitted a mouse by attacking it at
its weakest point. The Hermit was losing his food because of a really smart
mouse. But when he understood the source of its power, he was able to get rid of
the mouse!

The Elephants And The King Of Mice:

Ever thought Elephants would need the help of tiny mice? Well, this story
teaches children about how to never judge based on size or appearance! Read it
right away!

Shandili And The Sesame Seeds:

Is niceness too good to be true? In today’s world, some would agre e! Well here’s
a story that teaches children about how instead of trusting easily, one must
analyse the situation.
The Story Of The Merchant’s Son:

It’s all to do with destiny, isn’t it? This little story about a merchant’s son talks
about how he faced several situations while leaving it all to destiny! And the best
part, he gets rewarded for it!

The Unlucky Weaver:

Here’s the story of a weaver who decides to leave his happiness behind to earn
pots of gold coins. During this journey, however, he learns about how it’s best to
just work hard, be happy and leave the rest to destiny! A great lesson to teach
kids!

Kakolukiyam

Of Crows And Owls:

Is it good to speak out your thoughts or will it backfire? The story ‘Of Crows And
Owls’ teaches this – how the outspoken crow won itself an ego boost but lost its
friends!
Elephants And Hares:

When you’re facing a stronger opponent, use your wit to save yourself! This
story’s about a smart hare that saves its group with its quick thinking skills. A
great one to entertain your kid!

The Brahmin And The Crooks:

If lies are spoken repeatedly, do they turn into the truth? Well, this story talks
about three crooks who outsmart a Brahmin by repetitively fooling him!

The War Of Crows And Owls:

The war continues between the crows and owls! And with the owls getting
stronger, the crows decide to send over a spy. Consequently, the spy takes
advantage of the scenario and outsmarts the owls!

The Cave That Talked:

Your child is sure to love this one! A clever jackal used its quick-thinking skills to
save himself from a hungry Lion – and as a result, saved its life!
Labdhapranasam

The Monkey And The Crocodile:

This famous story talks about the importance of being faithful and grateful. The
crocodile and monkey lose their friendship because of the crocodile’s
ungratefulness. It all came down to quick-thinking that saved the monkey!

The Story Of The Potter:

This story is about being who you are and how if you don’t, you end up paying for
it! A potter’s simple wound is mistaken as a warrior’s wound when he enters a
palace. Consequently, the king mistaking him pushes him to the battleground
and he almost loses his life!

The Greedy Cobra And The King Of Frogs:

Here’s an excellent story to teach your little ones – fight your own battles! The
greedy cobra depended on the cruel king of frogs, only to be left starving to
death!
The Donkey And The Washerman:

This one tells your child about what happens when you pretend to be someone
you’re not! A donkey that was disguised as a tiger had to face severe
consequences.

The Jackal’s Strategy:

The Panchatantra series never fails to be witty, and this is another such example
for your little one! The Jackal uses its cleverness to eat his food while smartly
fighting against different challenges thrown at it!

Apariksitakarakam

The Brahmani And The Mongoose:

Panchatantra stories can sure teach your child a thing or two about acting in
haste and how it will do no good – and here’s another example! On mistaking the
mongoose for attacking her son, the Brahmani makes a terrible mistake in haste!

The Brahmin’s Dream:

Building casltes in the air won’t bring you any happiness! Here’s the story of a
miserly Brahmin who got over excited with his huge colleciton of rice gruel.
However, he gets a dream that changes his life!

The Lion That Sprang To Life:

What good is knowledge when you lack common sense? This interesting story
talks about four young men who venture out to use their learnings to make
earnings. However, when they meet with a scenario, they cause unnecessary
trouble to themselves without thinking clearly.

The Musical Donkey:

This is a hilarious one where a donkey knows not that there’s an appropriate
place and time for everything. The donkey uses its not-so-musical voice to sing
loudly while stealing food from nearby farms – only to receive a garland of hits!

The Bird With Two Heads:

Unity is strength! Wouldn’t you agree? Well, this story focuses on exactly this
moral! A two-headed bird loses its strength when it thinks only for its individual
needs.

So these are some of the many fabulous Panchatantra stories. You can read them
out to your child, or watch the short videos provided! We’re sure your child will
enjoy these ancient fables and you will love them too!
What’s your child’s favourite story from the Panchatantra series?
Leave a comment below to let us know!

You May Also Like

40 Fantastic Stories For Kids To Read In 2019

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About Gayathri G

Gayathri breathes Harry Potter as much as she breathes air. Yes, a hardcore
Potterhead! She loves to play with words, write goofy and humorous articles,
dabble in art & craft activities, and crack terrible jokes. Having worked as a
copywriter with an ad agency, she is currently a content writer at Flintobox!
15 Life Skills Kids Need Before They Leave
Home
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These life skills for kids help them grow into confident, self-sufficient adults.

You’ve heard the stories before:

  The student who excelled in high school but dropped out of college because he
didn’t know how to independently manage his time.
 Highly intelligent adults who stumble through life because they never learned
how to manage money and stay out of debt.
 Bosses receiving phone calls from employee’s parents – since their children
don’t know how to speak up for themselves.

Our primary focus as parents tends to be on school – getting kids through school
successfully and seeing that they get good grades.

But basic life skills for kids – from doing laundry to learning how to stand up for
oneself – can be equally important to our children’s success. Without many of the
skills listed below, even the most well-educated adult will find himself at a
disadvantage in both the workplace and life.

While kids may be able to acquire some of these skills in school (time
management) or take classes (cooking or driver’s ed) a few are more nuanced and
require the encouragement and support of a parent (becoming a self-starter).
15 Life Skills for Kids: Essential Skills Every Child Needs
Before Leaving Home
Many of these fifteen skills are now second nature to us adults, so it can be difficult to
remember which skills our kids need to learn before leaving home. This list should
help! And it provides links to resources and books to get you started.

Can you think of any other life skills for kids? Write them in the comments below!

Understand Money
Want to teach your child a life skill that could literally make or break their success as
an adult? Teach them about money.
Other than education, nothing will ensure kids success as an adult than teaching them
to be money-savvy. This includes understanding what it takes to manage money,
delay gratification, the responsible ways to handle debt, and investing for future goals.

Parents can begin to teach kids about money as soon as they are able to talk.
Having conversations with kids about money is proven to be one of the most
important ways for kids to learn. When they’re a bit older, letting kids manage money
on their own provides hands-on education and will help kids understand how money
works and the importance of saving towards a goal.

To read more about teaching kids about money start here:

Everything Your Child Needs to Know About Money Before Leaving Home

This One Skill Could Make or Break Your Kids Adulthood and You Can Teach It
To Them

How to Teach Kids Delayed Gratification in a “Buy Now, Pay Later” World

Recommended books:

The Opposite of Spoiled, by Ron Lieber

Make Your Kid a Money Genius, by Beth Koblinger

Learning How to Cook

Research shows that people who frequently cook meals at home eat healthier and
consume fewer calories than those who cook less. So teaching kids how to cook often
means setting them up for a healthier diet in the future.

Plus, home-cooked meals are often less expensive than prepared foods. So adults
who know how to cook also have the ability to keep their food budgets in check.

The first step in getting kids comfortable in the kitchen is to make sure they have tools
and gadgets that are safe and easy for them to use. See 11 Tools That Turn Kids
Into Confident Kitchen Helpers for a list of helpful supplies.

Thirty Handmade Days provides some great ideas for how to begin teaching kids to
cook in its post, Kids Cooking Camp at Home.

And the online course Kids Cook Real Food – teaches kids all the basic cooking
skills they need to become independent chefs and bakers.

Other resources include two popular kids’ cookbooks that incorporate cooking lessons
alongside recipes:
Kid Chef: The Foodie Kids Cookbook

Cooking Class: 57 Fun Recipes Kids Will Love to Make and Eat

How to be a Self-Starter
Employers today complain about recent graduates entering the workforce and
needing step-by-step instructions to complete even the smallest task. Many of these
graduates grew up in households where parents kept them on schedule and hovered
over every task.

And while parent involvement is certainly beneficial to some extent, letting kids
experience a bit of independence, and especially letting them figure a few things out
on their own, will nurture feelings of self-esteem that translate into a can-do attitude.

Homework is one of the biggest areas where parents tend to hover, but sometimes
it’s tricky to determine when a parent should get involved and when they should back
off. This guide by Joanne Nesbitt can help: Helping Kids Become Self-Starters.

The book Can-Do Kids, written by an entrepreneur and a child psychologist,

examines what it takes to raise kids who have a self-starter mindset similar to
entrepreneurs. (Hint – it’s easier than you’d think!). Read my review of the book here.

Don’t know when it’s appropriate for kids to begin doing certain tasks on their own?
Sign up for my weekly(ish) newsletter and you’ll receive this Age-Appropriate Guide to
Kids’ Independence as a free gift. (Click on the image below to subscribe)
See Related:

Raise Kids Who Are Self-Starters and Put an End to Homework Fights

How to Talk to Strangers

Out in the world on their own, our kids will encounter many strangers – professors,
coaches, advisors, landlords, store clerks, hairdressers, waiters, managers, and co-
workers just to name a few.

Our adult kids need to know how to look these people in the eyes, clearly
communicate with them and possibly even advocate for themselves if need be. But if
kids have never been encouraged to speak to strangers on their own – if their parents
have always spoken for them – kids’ communication skills will be stilted which could,
among other things, come across poorly in a job interview.

And that advice parents give to kids about “not talking to strangers”? Stats show it’s
more likely your TV set will fall on your child’s head than a stranger will abduct him or
her. Try a different approach that lets kids know that not all strangers are bad. For
example, one Mom told her kids that if they ever get lost to look for another mom
with kids – she’ll be most likely willing to help.

How to Independently Manage Time

Let’s face it, there are many adults who could still learn a thing or two about time
management. But the more kids understand how to manage their time before going off
to school on their own, the more successful they’ll be.
Managing one’s time is a life skill kids need to learn in order to successfully manage a
busy college schedule or later assign priority to a variety of work projects.

While it might be tempting to simply dictate when kids should do which activities in
what order, kids will learn best if they’re able to practice time management
independently.

Bullet four in this article, Don’t Procrastinate! Teach Your Child Time
Management is an especially helpful tip for getting kids to begin taking ownership of
their time management.

Photo credit: Foter.com / CC0

How to Stand Up for Themselves
Adults are often in situations where they have to advocate for themselves – asking a
boss for a raise, letting a stranger know they accidentally cut them in line or telling a
waiter that he didn’t add up the bill correctly.

These situations can sometimes be tricky, but imagine if we’d never been given the
chance to practice standing up for ourselves – with teachers, coaches or peers?

While it may be tempting at times, and occasionally necessary for parents to speak up
and advocate for their kids, this should be the exception, not the rule. Instead,
embrace opportunities for kids to take the lead, and stand up for themselves. These
moments will help build kids’ confidence and set them up for greater success as
adults.

Parents can also coach kids through tricky situations by being willing to listen and
offering advice if it’s asked for. Sometimes kids just need to talk about difficult
situations about friends or teachers in order to figure out the solution on their own.
Know too that kids are watching you and taking notes on what you do if the need
comes to advocate for yourself.
For more about how parents can help kids stand up for themselves see: How to Help
Kids Stand Up for Themselves

Recommended Books:

How to Raise an Adult, by Julie Lythcott-Haims

The Me, Me, Me Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful

Kids in an Over-Entitled World, by Amy McCready

How to Cope with Failure

Failure is tough. And seeing your kids fail? Even tougher.

But as difficult as it is to sit on the sidelines and see our kids make mistakes – failure
is full of big lessons.

As Jessica Lahey, author of the book “The Gift of Failure” says, when parents
correct their kid’s mistakes, they’re helping in the moment but ultimately doing
harm. Kids who have never had to deal with failure find themselves unable to cope as
adults when a relationship goes sour or a work project doesn’t pan out.

“All this swooping and fixing make for emotionally, intellectually, and socially
handicapped children,” she writes, “unsure of their direction or purpose without an
adult on hand to guide them.”

Read more about the importance of letting kids fail here: How to Give Your Child the
Gift of Failure
 Jessica Lahey’s book The Gift of Failure explains why parents must learn to allow children to
experience failure.
How to Find a Job
Remember the first time you put together a resume and were lost about all the “rules”?
Or those feelings of uncertainty as you walked into your first interview?

There’s a protocol for finding a job, and practicing all the steps it takes to land one is
valuable for kids.

Unfortunately, not as many teens are given the opportunity to work a part-time job with
after-school activities and summers being filled up with sports, classes and volunteer
trips to Costa Rica.

But as a college admissions officers told Quartz – applicants who hold jobs over the
summer are far more enticing than those who volunteer at an orphanage in India or
interned on Wall Street.

And there’s no need to wait until kids are teens to begin getting kids accustomed to
what it means to work. This resource provides over 90+ ideas on how kids can make
money given their different interests: How to Make Money as a Kid

How to Do Laundry
To adults, the basic task of doing laundry feels like second nature. After so many
years of running the regular wash cycle and pressing high heat on the dryer, it’s
difficult to conceive of a time when we didn’t know how to clean clothes.

But doing one’s laundry actually takes a little guidance. And no parent wants to send
their kids off to school only to have them ridiculed for not knowing the difference
between a washer and a dryer.

This mother provides a good checklist of the steps kids need to take to do their
laundry in How to Teach Young Kids to do Laundry.

How to Take Care of Their Own Things/Be Organized

It’s common knowledge that staying organized – having everything in its right place –
can make people more successful at any given task.

While some kids and adults are naturally organized, for those who aren’t, parents can
help by using checklists, providing bins and shelving for toys or school work, and
following routines such as setting out clothes and packing a school bag the night
before.

For more ideas on how to teach kids to be organized see:

25 Moms give tips on how to teach kids to be organized

10 Ways to Help Get Your Child Organized

12 Ways to Develop Your Child’s Organizational Skills

How to Clean and Take Care of a House

One of the best ways to teach kids how to clean and take care of a house is through
chores. As much as we tell them why it’s important to keep a clean house, actually
doing it themselves will help them understand what’s involved.

And let’s face it – this will pay off for your kids later in life when they have roommates
or get married. Because no one wants to live with a slob.

Beyond learning practical tasks such as how to clean a toilet or mop a floor, chores
are also shown to help kids academically, emotionally, and professionally. (See How
Daily Chores Set Kids Up for Success in Life to learn more)

For information on kids chores see:

How to Motivate Kids to do Chores (Without Paying Them!)

13 of the Best Chore Charts for Kids

Wondering how to get kids started on daily chores? Learn how to be successful
with kids chores even if you’ve tried before and failed. Click here or the image
below to join my FREE four-day course about kids chores. You’ll also receive
my Age-Appropriate Guide to Children’s Chores as a bonus.

How to Spend Money Wisely

Shopping seems easy enough – go into a store, purchase what you need and leave.
But to be good at shopping – and essentially manage money well – one needs to
understand the importance of delayed gratification, saving towards a goal, determining
what a good price is for an item and why it may not make sense to purchase
something just because it’s on sale.

Kids can begin to understand these hidden variables in the shopping experience if
they are given the chance to manage some money on their own. Some parents may
do this with a weekly allowance, while others might choose an allowance for only
certain expenditures like clothing.

Here are some other resources to help kids practice shopping and managing money
on their own:

How to Teach Kids Delayed Gratification in a “Buy Now, Pay Later” World

How to Drive Safely and Take Care of Cars

Even if a teen doesn’t own their own car, it’s a good idea for them to know the basics
of car ownership, such as how to pump gas, when the oil needs changing, and what to
do when you get a flat tire.

Some of these topics will be covered in a driver’s ed class, but some will not. Here are
a few helpful articles to make sure you cover the basics:

Top Car Maintenance Tips for Teens

10 Things Teens Should Know About Cars and Safety

Basic Car Maintenance Tips for Teens

Learn to Swim/Water Safety
Most parents know that learning how to swim is an essential life skill to keeping kids
safe – especially if they spend any time around water or pools.

But beyond this practical reason, swimming is also a low-impact sport that can be
done throughout one’s lifetime.

Kids can begin to learn how to swim as early as 18 months when, at that point, the
idea is to get them comfortable with the water. The easiest way to teach kids to swim
is through lessons.

To get a sense of which skills kids can acquire at certain ages click on the following
links:

Toddlers Ages 2-4

Ages 4 and Older

Swimming Beyond Lessons

Use a Map and Take Public Transportation on Their Own

Not every kid lives in a city, but whenever possible it’s helpful for kids to get a sense of
how to navigate public transportation on their own. This can be accomplished by
getting kids involved when navigating a map or having them help figure out which path
to follow to get on the right train.

Or you could do as the Japanese do and let your kids go on errands as young as 2 or
3.

But if that’s too young for your taste, it’s still worth considering some of the
advantages of letting kids roam safe neighborhoods and cities on their own, as this
Atlantic article points out: Let Your Kids Ride the Bus Alone

You May Also Like:

6 Ways to Encourage Self-Sufficiency in Young Children

7 Ways Can Encourage Teens to be Self-Sufficient

10 Life Lessons Kids Need to Experience Before Leaving Home

9 Ways to Encourage Self-Sufficiency in
Young Kids
By KERRY- This content may contain affiliate links.

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Are you eager to have your young kids do more for themselves? Here are nine
ways to encourage and raise self-sufficient kids.

Is there anything more agonizing than running late for work and watching your 4-year-
old try to tie his shoes?

One lace slips out of his hand as he S-L-O-W-L-Y tries to loop the other around. So he
starts over again. And again. And again.

Torture.

Even if he’s successful in making a bow, it will likely fall out in approximately 48
seconds.

Putting you back to square one.

There comes a time in every parent’s experience where we want more than anything
for our kids to be independent. For them to tie their own shoes, make their own
breakfast or remember to change their underwear without a reminder.

Getting kids to the point of self-sufficiency can be challenging. Often times we find it’s
so much easier to say: “I’ll do it!” and take over a task just so we can move on with
our day.

But each time we take over for our kids, we’re robbing them of the chance to learn on
their own.

So how can parents encourage young kids to be self-sufficient

without pulling their hair out?
While some independence comes naturally for kids, other tasks require coaching. In
order to make the transition from dependence to self-sufficiency smoother, here are a
few tips to keep in mind:

Identify opportunities
Sometimes getting kids to be more self-sufficient simply requires parents to be on the
lookout for tasks kids can begin to do on their own. Perhaps your child doesn’t actually
need you to make their breakfast for them anymore? Or she is at the point of being
able to brush her own hair? Often we become so accustomed to doing things for our
kids that we forget to question whether they are developmentally ready to do them on
their own.

Related: 18 Things 2-3 Year Olds Can Do On Their Own

Don’t overwhelm
Once you’ve identified a task or two your child could begin to do on their own,
introduce the concept of independence one task at a time. Having kids tackle too
many new skills at once can be overwhelming and discouraging.

Patience is a virtue
Just like the shoe tying, it takes an ENORMOUS amount of patience to stand back
and let kids tackle tasks on their own. Often some of the most simple chores can take
kids what seems like an eternity to finish.

But letting kids do chores on their own – with supportive coaching – can build their
self-esteem and independence. Taking over a task your child is trying to master sends
the message they’re not capable of doing the task on their own.

It might mean building in a bit more time in your day initially to let kids struggle with
their new independent task, but your patience should pay off in the long run as
children become more independent.

Downsize
Sometimes chores are tricky for kids because the tools needed to complete the task
aren’t made for small hands and bodies. This is where kid-sized tools can be handy,
for example:

 small pitchers for little hands

 knives with a serrated edge
 kid-sized brooms and dustpans
 clothing that is easy for kids to put on and take off.

Related: 11 Tools That Turn Kids Into Confident Kitchen Helpers

Forget Perfection
Your kids will not clean up spilled milk as well as you do or make their beds to your
level of perfection.

And that’s OK.

The first hurdle is for them to feel capable of doing these tasks on their own and taking
on responsibility. Later, you could say: “Can I give you a tip about how to make your
bed really smooth?” or “You probably didn’t realize it but you missed a spot when
wiping up the milk.”

Bite Your Tongue

Critiquing the way your daughter picked up her room is only going to make her feel
incapable of doing it on her own.

Instead, praise the effort first and then ask if she’d like a few pointers on how to make
her bookshelf even neater. It’s tricky initially to hold back comments when you know a
task can be done better, but restraint will help build your child’s confidence in the long
run.

Remember, kids often have no context for what is considered “good” or even “good
enough”. Gently guiding them towards an understanding of doing a task well may take
some time and coaching.

Raise helpers
Having kids take part in family chores not only builds their self-esteem but also
encourages greater self-sufficiency.

If you’re ready to give your kids chores, even if you tried before and failed, click
on the image below to learn more about my FREE four-day course. The course
covers how best to motivate kids to do chores as well as how to reduce your
need to nag. You’ll also receive my Age-Appropriate Guide to Children’s Chores
as a bonus.
Visual reminders
Visual reminders can be a great way to let kids know what they need to do without
having to nag them.

Some examples include:

 chore cards to remind kids which chores they need to do each day (pictures on
these cards help pre-readers)
 a chart to show every task that needs to be completed before leaving the house
in the morning
 a chart to remind kids of all the steps needed to get ready for bed at night
 room cleaning cards that explain how to clean a bathroom or living room
properly (best for kids who can read)

Keep the end goal in mind

It can be tortuous to stand by as our children take forever to get dressed, brush their
teeth or tie their shoes. And let’s not get started with how imperfectly they clean up
their toys or spilled juice.

But if we’re willing to invest a few minutes of time and let go of perfectionism, we’ll find
that as our children get older they’re more capable, responsible, independent, and are
inching closer towards self-sufficiency. All of which benefits both them and us.
7 Ways Parents Can Encourage Teens to be
Self-Sufficient
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Not sure how to encourage self-sufficiency and independence in your tween
and teen? This advice can help!

Related: 15 Skills Kids Need Before They Leave Home

Gently you try to shake your 13-year-old awake.

“Time to get up for school!” you say in your cheeriest voice possible, even though you
can’t believe your teen still can’t get out of bed on his own.

Your son gets ready, grabs a quick breakfast, and runs out the door to catch the bus.

Just as he’s leaving, you notice he’s left his trumpet behind. Yelling out the door after
him you shout: “Don’t forget this!” holding up the instrument’s case so he can see it.

Smiling, he runs back to the door and grabs the case.

“Thanks Mom.” he says as he scurries off to the bus stop.

At least he was polite, you think – and (barely) made the bus on time.

Later as you pass by his bedroom door, you notice the piles of clothes on the floor and
overall mess.

After all of the morning’s activities you sigh and quietly wonder:

“Is it even possible to teach teens to be self-sufficient?”

Tweens and teens are a special lot.

Just emerging from childhood, they yearn for independence but secretly aren’t
confident they’re ready for it and truthfully only want it when it’s self-advantageous.

But the reality is that the tween and teen years are the perfect time to work on the
skills our children will need to lead a confident and independent adulthood. Rather
than learn responsibility through trial-by-fire as an adult, tweens and teens can slowly
be encouraged into self-reliance with their parents by their side.

And it’s worth it to do this for our kids. Not only does self-sufficiency and self-reliance
build confidence in teens but experts say there’s a link between self-sufficiency as a
kid and being capable of living on one’s own and financially stable as an
adult (i.e. not reliant on parents for money or live at home well into adulthood).
So how can parents encourage more self-sufficiency in their
tweens and teens?
By following a few basic rules and steps, parents can nudge their tweens and teens
towards self-sufficiency – which leads to greater self-esteem and success in college
and adulthood.

But don’t expect it to be easy. Kids who have had their parents act as personal
assistants for years probably won’t be willing to give that up anytime soon.

#1: Get out of the way

Parents can often be their own worst enemy when it comes to encouraging self-
sufficiency in tweens and teens. As we continue to do basic chores and
responsibilities for our teens – things they already know how to do themselves – we’re
getting in the way of their mastery of these tasks.

A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself: “Would my teen be able to do this task if he
were living on his own?” If the answer is “no” it’s time to start letting go and guiding
teens towards greater self-sufficiency.

Click on the image below to access a list of the types of responsibilities and tasks your
teen should know how to do before leaving home (You’ll also be signing up for my
weekly newsletter that gives more advice about how to raise confident, independent
kids):

Suggested reading: How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims

Related: Preparing Emerging Adults for College and Beyond

#2: Don’t be afraid of failure

It can be excruciatingly difficult to watch our son or daughter misplace homework or
waste all of their money on an expensive sweater. And oh so tempting to bail them
out.

But nothing engrains a lesson of self-sufficiency more than failure. Having

experienced the uneasiness of not being able to turn in an assignment on time or
finding they’re without enough cash when friends want to see a movie, will motivate
your teen not to make that mistake again.

And better for them to learn these lessons when the stakes are low. How much worse
the experience would be when rent is due or an important project is due at work.

Suggested reading: The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey

#3: Encourage problem-solving

Let’s say your middle schooler missed his scheduled in-school tutoring session. Sure
you could give him a call five minutes before the next appointment. But are you
prepared to manage his schedule for him his entire life?

No.

Instead, ask your son how he plans to remind himself next time of the appointment.
Further “encouragement” to find a solution could be letting him know he’ll be
responsible for paying for any additional missed meetings.

Before jumping in with a suggestion for improvement, try to think of ways to get your
teen to think for himself. He’ll appreciate the chance to think independently rather than
being lectured to.

#4: Gently encourage and avoid criticism

It can be difficult to look at our maturing children and wonder why they haven’t
mastered certain tasks yet – such as keeping a room neat or waking up on time.

But criticizing their lack of growth will only discourage them and make them feel
incapable of having ownership over the task.

Instead, look for the good and point it out. But be careful not to lavish teens with too
much praise. Most teens would rather have it be accepted and natural for them to be
taking the next step towards adulthood rather than pointing out their growth.
#5: Let go of perfection
Remember when your kids were toddlers? How adorable it was when they tried to
clean up spilled milk but ultimately left half still on the floor?

We don’t expect perfection from toddlers – they’re still maturing – and we can’t expect
teens, and especially tweens, to be instantly successful at managing independence.

Despite their appearance as young adults, teens still have a lot of growing up to do.
So let go, take a deep breath, point out the good, and be there for them as a
supportive coach as they emerge into self-sufficient adults.

#6: Advanced warning helps ease transitions

Kids, like adults, appreciate advanced warning when it comes to change. If you’ve
decided it’s time for your son to wake up on his own (for once) let him know next
Friday morning will be the last time you help. If he doesn’t get up on his own and
misses the bus, he’ll have to figure out his own way to get to school on time.

It can throw tweens and teens off guard if we suddenly say they’re responsible for
something spur of the moment. Giving advanced warning with the message of “I’m
trying to support your independence.” might still get a few eye rolls but shows we’re
there to support our teens, not throw them curve balls they’re not prepared for.

#7: Try to find a balance

While it’s occasionally beneficial to show our love for our kids with a little assistance,
the risk is creating a culture where kids become reliant on parents.

If your daughter is generally good about bringing everything she needs to school, then
it’s probably OK to deliver her math homework she absentmindedly left behind this
morning. Everyone makes mistakes and we can demonstrate what it means to be in a
supportive family by occasionally helping each other out.

But if your daughter habitually forgets things at home, it’s time to draw the line. Make it
clear that you’ve bailed her out too many times and it’s time she manages on her own.

Finding the balance between being supportive and letting tweens and teens take on
independence can be tricky, but as we keep the larger picture in mind – to raise self-
sufficient adults – it often becomes clearer what our kids need and what our role in
helping them can be.

10 Life Lessons Kids Need to Experience

Before They Leave Home
By KERRY- This content may contain affiliate links.

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Kids and teens need to experience these ten life lessons before heading out into
the world on their own.

To see more ideas on how to raise confident, independent adults see: 15 Life
Skills Kids Need Before They Leave Home

(This post contains affiliate links. If you click on a link and purchase the item, I
will receive a commission at no extra cost to you.)

As adults, we’ve more or less learned what it takes to be successful in life. So

naturally, we want to pass that knowledge onto our kids.

We want our kids to know how to stick up for themselves, handle disappointment and
failure, resolve conflict, and manage time and resources. And because we know how
to do these things, it feels like our responsibility to make sure our kids are getting it
right from the very beginning.

So we wake them up for school in the morning, talk to their teachers about an unfair
grade, ask their soccer coach why our child hasn’t been played this season, and sit
next to our kids as they complete their homework.
The problem is that by doing all these things for our kids, we aren’t letting them learn
these skills on their own. These lessons can only be learned by making decisions and
choices on their own and facing down fears.

While our kids are at home we have the opportunity to coach and mentor them in their
growing independence. We have the chance to be a listening ear for when they face a
challenge and support them as they think through their own choices and experience
the consequences.
10 Life Lessons Kids Need to Experience Before They Leave
Home
Listed below are ten life lessons we need to let our kids experience on their own
before they leave home. Learning these lessons while they’re young will help our
children live with greater confidence in the world beyond our doors.

Talk to Important Adults and Self-Advocate

There are many times when adults have to advocate for themselves, such as asking a
boss for a raise, letting a stranger know they accidentally cut them in line or telling a
waiter that he didn’t add up the bill correctly.

These situations can sometimes be tricky, but imagine if we’d never been given the
chance to practice standing up for ourselves, with teachers, coaches or peers?

While it may be tempting, and occasionally necessary at times for parents to speak up
and advocate for their kids, this should be the exception, not the rule. Instead,
embrace opportunities when your kids can take the lead and stand up for themselves.
These moments will help build kids’ confidence and set them up for greater success
as adults.

Parents can also coach kids through tricky situations by being willing to listen and
offering advice if it’s asked for. Sometimes kids just need to talk about difficult
situations in order to figure out a solution on their own. Know too that kids are
watching you and taking notes on what you do if you need to advocate for yourself.

This is a great story about what can happen when parents let their kids discuss
challenges with important adults on their own with no parental involvement: When
Your Child is Ready to Quit, Tell Them This

See related:

Helping Your Teen Self-Advocate

Want to help your teen become more independent? Click on the image below to
get your own Parent’s Guide to Teen Independence. You’ll also be signed up to
my weekly-ish newsletter with more parenting tips about raising self-sufficient
kids.
Talk With Strangers
Out in the world on their own, our kids will encounter many strangers such as
advisors, landlords, store clerks, hairdressers, waiters, managers, and co-workers just
to name a few.

Our adult kids need to know how to look these people in eye, clearly communicate
with them, and possibly even advocate for themselves if need be. But if kids have
never been encouraged to speak to strangers on their own – if their parents have
always spoken for them – kids’ communication skills will be stilted which could, among
other things, come across poorly in a job interview.

And that advice parents give to kids about “not talking to strangers”? Statistics
show it’s more likely your TV set will fall on your child’s head than a stranger will
abduct him or her. Try a different approach that lets kids know that not all strangers
are bad. For example, one Mom told her kids that if they ever get lost to look for
another mom with kids because she’ll most likely be willing to help.

Confront Conflict
People who aren’t afraid to confront conflict end up being more successful in both
their personal and business relationships. Unaddressed conflict breeds resentment
and hinders progress.

Seeing your child in a challenging situation with peers or important adults can be
painful. But each time we insert ourselves into a conflict – big or small – we’re robbing
our children of the chance to build the social skills necessary to address conflict in a
way that is both respectful and self-advocating.

This doesn’t mean that we can’t serve as coaches when kids come to us with their
relationship issues. One of the best ways we can be supportive is to try to help our
children think through the appropriate words to use and which steps to take if a
situation isn’t getting better.

Bullying is another matter and a situation where it might make sense for parents to get
involved. This guide can help: School Bullys: When Parents Should Get Involved

See related:

Why Avoiding Conflict Keeps You Trapped in it Forever

How to Help Kids to Stand Up for Themselves

Coaching Children in Handling Every Day Conflicts

Respectfully Disagree
Being respectful doesn’t always come naturally to kids – they need our help to
understand the right way to communicate their frustration or disapproval.

Parents can help kids learn how to be respectful by talking to them about appropriate
ways to respond. A few ways that parents can help kids learn how to respectfully
disagree include:

 Modeling respectful disagreement, either with spouses, friends, or store

employees
 Letting kids know that it’s OK to disagree but that they need to express that
disagreement in a respectful manner
 Coaching kids on the respectful way they could disagree with you
 Make sure kids feel that they are heard when disagreeing with you. Anyone who
feels that their position is not being heard is more likely to dig in their heels rather
than discuss the issue at hand.

Learning how to talk to other kids and adults in a respectful manner without fear pays
dividends in adulthood when disagreements arise between spouses, co-workers or
employers.

See related:

Why Every Kid Should Talk Back to Their Parents

Teaching Your Child to Respectfully Disagree

6 Tips to Teach Your Teen to Respectfully Disagree

Experience Failure
Failure is tough. And seeing your kids fail? Even tougher.

But as difficult as it is to sit on the sidelines and see our kids make mistakes, failure is
full of big lessons.

As Jessica Lahey, author of the book “The Gift of Failure” says, when parents
correct their kid’s mistakes, they’re helping in the moment but ultimately doing
harm. Kids who have never had to deal with failure find themselves unable to cope as
adults when a relationship goes sour or a work project doesn’t pan out.

“All this swooping and fixing make for emotionally, intellectually, and socially
handicapped children,” she writes, “unsure of their direction or purpose without an
adult on hand to guide them.”

Read more about the importance of letting kids fail here: How to Give Your Child the
Gift of Failure

Experience Disappointment
Certainly, no parent would want to thrust their child into a situation just so they can
experience disappointment but often our parental instinct is to shield kids from the
downtrodden feeling that comes from events not turning out the way we expected.

Trying to appease kids with excessive affection or even giving them gifts as a way to
protect them from feeling disappointment may appear to help in the short term but
ultimately could do more harm than good. It’s healthier for kids to sit with their
disappoint and reflect on their emotions to hopefully problem solve how to avoid
disappointment in the future (if possible).

Appeasing kids may send the message that you don’t think they’re capable of
handling and overcoming setbacks.

That said, disappointment is a difficult emotion and some kids may quit or reduce their
effort after experiencing it. Parents can support and coach kids through their
disappointment by asking: “I know you feel bad right now, but what can you learn from
this experience?”

Other ways that parents can help include:

 Make sure your kids know that you love them through both their successes and
stumbling blocks
 Try to offer a healthy perspective on disappointment
  Help kids try to find a way to overcome the causes of their disappointment
 Assure kids that they will get over this disappointing stage and can achieve their
goals through hard work

See related:

Parenting: Disappointment is Good

That’s Life: Helping Kids Deal With Disappointment

Failure is an Option: Teaching Your Child to Cope With Disappointment

Make a Big Decision

Once our kids are out in the world on their own there will be many big decisions to
make: Which college major to choose, where to work, where to live, and who to keep
as company.

It can be tempting to make decisions for our kids such as which classes to take, which
sports to pursue, how to spend one’s summer. And while we may feel we know best,
making these decisions for our kids sends the message that they are not capable of
making good choices on their own, weakening their self-confidence.

Instead, parents can act as coaches making it clear that the teen or child is the one
who ultimately makes the final decision (within reason, of course) but providing some
guidance and perspective they perhaps haven’t considered.

See related:

How to Help Your Teen Develop The Ability to Make Good Decisions

Raising Good Decision-Makers

Helping Kids Make Decisions

Get Bored
The opportunities are endless as far as kids activities go. It really is possible for kids
and teens to be constantly busy or entertained.

But building some time into the week or vacations when nothing is planned or
scheduled can be so valuable to kids. Research shows that it’s during downtime that
creativity flourishes and people are able to reflect on their emotions, relationships,
challenges, and life in general.
We all know adults who go a mile a minute but have yet to find peace and happiness
within. Letting our kids discover that downtime can be rejuvenating will help them see
the value in slowing down and feeling peace in their lives.

See related:

Giving Our Kids the Gift of Doing Nothing

The Psychological Importance of Wasting Time

Teach Kids to Daydream

Manage Time
The more kids understand how to manage their time before going off to live on their
own, the more successful they’ll be.

Managing one’s time to get out the door for school and prioritizing homework over
playtime are lessons kids need to learn. These lessons will help them later in life when
kids need to manage a busy college schedule or determine in which order to get work
projects done.

While it might be tempting to simply dictate when kids should do which activities in
what order, kids will learn best if they’re able to practice time management
independently.

Bullet four in this article, Don’t Procrastinate! Teach Your Child Time
Management is an especially helpful tip for getting kids to begin taking ownership of
their time management.

Related: The (Super Easy) Trick to Help Kids Get Ready for School Independently

Self-Navigate
Not every kid lives in a city, but whenever possible it’s helpful for kids to get a sense of
how to navigate public transportation on their own. If you find yourself looking over a
map to see where you need to go, get your kids involved. Or when taking public
transportation, ask your children to figure out how to get to the correct train or bus.

Or you could do as the Japanese do and let your kids go on errands as young as 2 or
3.

But if that’s too young for your taste, it’s still worth considering some of the
advantages of letting kids roam safe neighborhoods and cities on their own, as this
Atlantic article points out: Let Your Kids Ride the Bus Alone
 50 Life Skills Every Child Needs To Learn
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 My oldest son turned 9 last month & I was hit pretty hard by the reality of his rapid aging.

As I watched him slowly unwrap his presents with a newly acquired sense of cool calm & only a fraction
of his past enthusiasm, I was hit pretty hard with the fact that my time with him is increasingly limited; he
is one year away from double digits, four years away from the teens, & half way to adulthood. And that’s
when the panic & fear slowly settled in. I have only a few years to prepare him for life before he gets faced
with it first hand. I have cared for his physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, academic, social, & behavioral
well-being, but have I prepared him for what he will inevitably & all-too-soon encounter? There are so
many valuable life skills every child needs to learn before they become adults.
 As parents, we are so eager to make life easy on our kids that sometimes we forget just how capable our
children are. We are quick to do for them rather than teach them how to do for themselves. We wrongly
rob them of the invaluable opportunities they so need. Or we automatically expect that teachers, coaches,
or other leaders will cover all the necessary topics that we neglect to teach in the home.
I’ll admit, I was not prepared for life when I moved out of my parents home & into my first apartment. My
poor roommates were so patient with my primal cleaning techniques, my endless use of the microwave, &
my first go at doing laundry that resulted in a broken washing machine. So, in an attempt to get back on
track & make the most of the rapidly dwindling time we have before our children are legally grown, I’ve
put together a list of some of the most important lessons every adult should know. Whether they go straight
into the workforce, take off time to travel, or begin a college career, these are life skills every child needs
to learn before reaching adulthood.
 Life Skills Every Child Needs to Learn
1. How to vote
2. How to do laundry
3. What interest rates are
4. How to do minor yard work
5. Schedule keeping & calendaring
6. Appointment making
7. How to change a tire
8. How to jump start a car
9. Typing
10. Online security
11. How to back up your data
12. Basic first-aid
13. The Heimlich maneuver
14. Caring for a lawn
15. How to tip
16. Proper communication skills
17. How to shake hands
18. Parallel parking
19. How to cook using a stove, an oven, & a slow-cooker
20. Minor home improvements
21. How to deep clean
22. Proper banking including savings accounts, checking accounts, & balancing a check book
23. Budgeting
24. What a dress code means & how to follow it
25. How to pick out ripe produce
26. How to shop for meat
27. Paying taxes & bills
28. How to write a resume & cover letter
29. How to interview
30. Basic clothes mending
31. Proper health care (when & how to schedule doctors/dentist appointments)
32. How & when to write a thank you letter
33. How to plunge a toilet
34. Basic medical care (how to handle a cold, flu, etc.)
As well as physical life skills there are other very important emotional skills that will help your child
succeed as an adult.

Emotional Skills Every Child Needs to Learn

1. How to Apologize
2. How to Forgive
3. Appropriate body language
4. Listening skills
5. How to accept feedback
6. How to give positive criticism
7. Empathy
8. How to say “no”
9. Generosity & giving-back
10. How to make friends
11. Negotiating skills
12. How to compromise
13. How to start a conversation & make small talk
14. Exercising self-control
15. Following through
16. How to ask for help
 Real life is scary. And overwhelming at times. It doesn’t come with a handbook (although if it did, that
book would be a guaranteed best-seller). As parents, we have the responsibility to prepare our children as
best as we can before they leave our homes & take on the world.

And it’s never too early to start.

What are some ways you’ve prepared your children? Do you have any recommended life skills every child
needs to learn before they grow up?

Preparing our children for life on their own is no easy task! If you need even more inspiration on teaching
and preparing your children while they are still in the home, check out these great ideas:

6 Old School Parenting Methods We Should Bring

Back

Our Favorite Books to Help Teach Your Children

More About Being Thankful
How “Mean” Parents Raise Grateful Kids: 5 Things
to STOP Doing

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About Sara Watkins

Sara is just your average girl trying to survive in an all boy world. Between three energetic, athletic, very active sons & a
former NFL player as a husband her life is full of spectating, cheering, refereeing, & supplying massive amounts of food.
She is an adventure junkie & can never hike, paddle board, swim, surf, or travel enough. She loves living on a little island
in the middle of a big ocean-despite her phobias of shark attacks & tsunamis. She is a licensed & trained family counselor
but for now she's enjoying staying home with her men.

Positive Parenting and the Seven

Essential Life Skills for Children!
Sep 27, 2018
How does parenting and child development intersect? The way
we parent can nurture the very skills that children need—not just
for success in the short-term—but across their entire lives.