going to pussy-foot instead of escalating - he might

NO FLAKES! as well be gay. This is not valuable to sexual women,

Vin DiCarlo TBZ EXCLUSIVE - REDUX i.e. women. The other guy is going to be all over her,
trying to "get some." This is annoying for her, and
"I know we were supposed to hang out, but my friend boring, because he is so predictable. The natural,
just called and she needs me to watch her cat while intriguing way is to create sexual tension - the
she visitsher aunt who's dying in a hospital in Siberia. presence of sexual desire, without overt sexual
Sorrrrry!" advances. In the interaction, your arousal should be
strong, but controlled and contained. If you were to
We are all familiar with the phenomenon of flaking. create a continuum of behavior, from o-io, o being
She has to water her dog, she has to go visit her asexual, and 10 being horny and aggressive, you
friend who is sick with cooties, she is really hung should fall right in the middle, at 5. You are a sexual
over and needs to write a 50-page paper, etc... man, but not needy for sex. She can feel your sexual
Although flake-outs can be frustrating, most guys desire and energy, but she is not totally sure if sex
trying to improve their success with women will would happen if she were alone with you. Think of a
eventually hit a roadblock with flaking; this usually movie you recently watched in the theatre. How likely
occurs after being able to open, hold a conversation, are you to rent that movie when it comes out on
and get a phone number. You've got all these DVD? Maybe it was a great movie, but you know
women's numbers, but none of them answer the how it ends, so you are not emotionally compelled to
phone, and if they do, they've always got some find out.
reason why they can't go out with you. Although It might be another year before you think about
frustrating, flaking is simply a sticking point that can watching that movie again, even if you really liked
be handled like any other part of your game. In this it! Remind you of anything? Guys often say "but it
E-Book, I will explain flaking and why it happens, and was so on! We had a great conversation, really
how to prevent it. I created this E-Book exclusively vibed, but now she just isn't returning my calls."
for Double Your Dating Subscribers. Thank you for It's not that she didn't like you; she just knows what
your continued support. Vin DiCarlo you are going to do. Read my article, "The Definitive
Sexual Tension," to understand how to create sexual
I. What is flaking? intrigue. In short, what you want to do is be a sexual
Flaking is a popular term in the seduction community man, while at the same time don't make it obvious
to describe instances when a woman does not what you plan to do with her. If you think your
comply with escalation. It is different from a woman interactions are too platonic and asexual, work on a
simply rejecting or not responding to your advances controlled arousal state. If you think you are too
in a pickup. Flaking has more to do with actual aggressive and player-ish, tone it down and focus on
logistics not answering or returning phone calls, not Credibility. If you want to really improve your game,
meeting up for a date, or getting in the way of we can teach you some really fun ways to amp up
physical isolation. Simply put, flaking is a woman's the sexual tension in a DiClassified Drills Bootcamp.
logistical noncompliance.
Lack of Leadership
II. What Causes Women to Flake? Not leading your interaction with a woman stems
There are three main reasons why a woman who from a lack of Dominance in your game. Most men
gave you her phone number might flake on you: are uncertain of how fast, and in what way to
Lack of Intrigue — You did not create enough escalate with a woman they are interested in. Other
sexual tension, coupled with a sense of uncertainty methods use a set of 'escalation guideposts.' What
about what might happen if the two of you got we teach is the cultivation of a masculine, dominant
together. character -the kind of guy who assumes attraction,
Lack of Leadership - You missed a window of thus he doesn't miss the subtle signals a woman
opportunity to escalate, while creating a safe, warm, might give him to take things up a notch. When you
expectation-free vibe. are stuck in your head, you might not notice that she
Timing — She is legitimately unavailable or is lingering around you just a little more than normal,
unreceptive sexually at this time in her life. or that she is making just a little more effort to talk to
Let's look at these in-depth. you than the other girls in her group. You might not
notice that the front of her body is open to you - she
Lack of Intrigue is open to your presence and your physical
Most guys have two strategies when it comes to closeness. These are subtle cues for you to escalate
escalating romantically with women. They either act physically. When a woman makes herself available
too "nice" and asexual, focusing more on being a and open for escalation, and the man doesn't act, he
friendly "pal," or they are too aggressive and overtly- is telling her that he is not used to women being
sexual, trying to a kind of "hot shot stud." Neither of attracted to him, and doesn't know how to take it to
these personas are natural, and neither are very the next level.
effective for getting consistent results. The common This is extremely unattractive.
denominator with both is that the woman knows Imagine you are about to go on a long hike through a
exactly what's going to happen next. The nice guy is forest, and you will be guided by a forest-ranger.
After meeting him, the two of you stand at the edge a little while before you suggest another get-
of a dense, mountainous forest. He is peering into together, and in the meantime, stay unreactive and
the trees, looking unsure and hesitant. He is not develop more credibility (over the phone), and sexual
walking forward, but instead, looking to you for the tension (via texting).
"go-ahead." What do you think of this guy? Not only
are you scared to go into that forest with such an Proactive Flake Prevention
incompetent guide, you might actually despise him First of all, it's important not to focus on preventing
for not owning his role as the leader. flake-outs. This is a bad focus, but it puts your
Now you are in a woman's shoes. awareness on a negative outcome, which will feed
Assume authority, assume attraction, focus on her the likelihood of that outcome occurring. Instead,
comfort and non-verbal cues, and escalate stay in the moment, and enjoy a spontaneous,
physically and logistically without hesitation. relaxed interaction. Use your creativity to think of fun
ways to strengthen the bond between you and the
Timing woman. Then, use this article as a troubleshooting
Some women are just not at a time in their life when guide, so that if something goes wrong, you can fix it
they are ready for a relationship. When my business next time. Remember, developing skill at pickup is a
took off, I finally realized what it is like for a woman process, and there is no shortage of women to learn
who is 'not on the market.' I took a break from dating, from.
committed to one woman, and passed up numerous
opportunities for sex so I could focus on my A Word on Social Commitment
business. Sex was just not a priority for me. Imagine During the pickup, you want to leverage social
filling yourself with the most satisfying steak dinner, pressure and social commitment.
and then being offered a cheeseburger. It's just not There are three levels of social
appealing. Sex and relationship opportunities come commitment:
very easily to most women, and every attractive 1. She makes a decision in her mind -this is
woman probably has dozens of guys willing not just rarely enough, as women tend to make
to have sex with them, but enter a relationship with decisions based on how they feel in a
them as well. Meeting a new guy just isn't a priority particular moment.
for them, especially if they are trying focus on work 2. She acts on a decision - the psychological
or school The way to deal with these women is to be principles of precedence and cognitive
persistent, but cool. Stay in touch without reacting to dissonance motivate her to follow through if
her lack of compliance. Become her friend, part of she is already a little 'committed.'
her life - leave her messages that make her feel 3. She tells her friends about her decision
comfortable. I've had sex with women who took over -most women are heavily influenced by their
6 months to meet up with me. A great way to stay in friends, so sharing her decision with her
touch and create intrigue without being needy is friends makes it more 'real' to her. Some
through texting, which I'll talk about later. Another ways to do this are to meet her friends and
timing issue is if she faces a legitimate interruption have her meet your friends. Make future
that stops her from being able to get together. She plans with her based on commonalities or
may be ready and willing to see you, but perhaps an interests. Talk about these plans in front of,
emergency requires her immediate attention. One of and with her friends. Have them give
our instructors, Brian, faced this exact scenario when suggestions or input.
he first met his current girlfriend. After a lot of phone
persistence, he set up a date to which the girl agreed Initial Meeting
excitedly. Just as he got in his car to pick her up, she The best way to avoid flaking in the future is to take
called to say that her friend was having an emotional the pickup as far as you can, now. Always look to
crisis, and was coming over to her place. She had to escalate. Each time there is space in the
be there for her friend and just couldn't make it. At interaction, there is more of a chance for something
first, Brian was upset - he had actually cleaned his to happen in her life that will divert her attention. It's
house! best to escalate as far as possible, get her as
But, knowing that if he reacted to her flaking he invested (mentally and physically) in you as
would ruin any future chance of getting together, he possible, and spend as much time together in the
saw this as an opportunity to be indifferent and not first meeting as logistics will allow. Note that this
needy. As it turned out, the girl was telling the truth, does not apply in situations where there is no
and they ended up having a wonderful night together chance for you to isolate her to a sex location. In
a few days later. One consideration to legitimate those circumstances, keep the interaction short in
interruptions is that even if she wants to see you, the order to maintain a dominant frame and intrigue.
very fact that she cancels sets a bad precedence. What you want to go for is the "Same day lay." A
In her pre-conscious mind she has categorized you great way to way to do this is to have a planned
as another guy she flaked out on. It's not 'game-over' first date that smoothly goes from point A to point
if this happens, but you don't want it to happen more B, to a point C that allows for sex to occur. Once
than twice. The more a 'flaking precedence' is you are good at smoothly escalating from point A
established, the more it will persist in the future. Wait all the way to sex, start doing daytime approaches
at location A. Then go on an insta-date strutting down the street. Any side jobs you
-spontaneously getting a girl to go for want to tell me about?"
coffee/window shopping, etc, the first time you Some guys don't like to make plans on the first call. If
meet her. the vibe is good and she keeps talking to you, go
ahead and plan a date. Always have a date in mind
Guidelines for the first meeting: before you call, and a way to propose it, in case this
● Take it as far as logistics allow. happens. If you feel the call is winding down, end the
● Keep the "episodes" of the interaction brief - call first. Pay attention - if she seems bored, say you
no more than 45 minutes for each location or have to get going and you'll talk to her later.
activity. Here's a hint - if you feel like you are straining a little
● Always lead and make the decisions. to think of things to talk about, and she isn't doing a
● Never force or try to convince a woman to go lot of the conversational work, she is probably bored.
along with your suggestions. If she is Do not talk to her if she is preoccupied or distracted
hesitant, back off, and try something else a by other people. This is crucial and is very dominant
little later. - say "I better let you go, you sound busy." Most
● Keep the intrigue and sexual tension HIGH times she will cut it out and give you her attention.
the entire time. Give her a couple days to call you back. If she
doesn't, don't sweat it, just call her again.
Phone Game Never brag or try to impress her over the phone.
Unless the interaction was really good, and the Every guy does this. Would you do this to your
woman expressed a ton of interest, I prefer to wait friends? Unless you're a loser, no.
up to a week before calling. If the interaction was Be comfortable, and don't be afraid to wake her up.
weak, this can actually be a better strategy for You are not an interruption—you are her friend.
getting her on the phone - it looks desperate if you If she was sleeping, say, "Well not anymore!
call her immediately after such an insignificant Haha." Act like a close friend would.
interaction.
● Call her between Sunday and Wednesday to How often to call:
schedule a one-on-one date. The best time A good guideline for calling would be: Call twice the
to call is between 9-npm. week after meeting, then once a week for a couple
● Call her Thursday—Saturday to invite her to weeks after, and then twice a month for the next six
a party or social gathering. Call around months if you desire.
79pm in this case. Don't stop meeting other girls, just consider this
part of the game.
If she doesn't answer:
Always leave a voicemail and never block your Text Messaging
number. Use 'callback humor' that is; bring up a joke Texting is a great way to create intrigue. Since you
you shared when you met, or tease her with a goofy can think about what you say before you say it, you
pet-name based on something that happened in the can really amp up the sexual tension with innuendo,
interaction. Never tell her "it was nice meeting you," doubleentendres, and open loops. It can be a blast.
or anything as predictable. Never try to remind her Also, she can't tell if you're nervous, so you can get
who you are - talk to her as if you are already great responses with canned text lines. Another
friends. Give her an emotional reason to call you major benefit to texting is that you can keep her
back on her voice-mail. Some ideas are that you focused on you, at least in the back of her mind, for
need her female expertise, you have a crazy story to extended periods of time. You can literally arouse
tell her, something/someone reminded you of her, her sexually, create powerful open loops, and stay in
etc. A fun little trick that almost guarantees callbacks her mind all day. A cool website a good friend of
is if you cut yourself off midway through the mine showed me is www.eztexting.com. You can
voicemail so she thinks you got cut off -this is a fun mass text all your girls at the same time and it will
way to create an open loop, compelling her to find even personalize your message with her name.
out the rest of the story. Mix it up and see what you
enjoy the most. Here's a few ideas for text openers you can
use to create intrigue and get a response:
When she does answer: ● Whoa, something just reminded me of you
It can be useful to have something fun or ● OMG -reminded of you today, saw someone
interesting to talk about, just to get the with same energy, comes from the same
conversation rolling. place
Don't start off with a long, prepared story, ● O my god what have I done
keep it short and sweet. ● Surprise!
You can use something along the lines of, "I ● OMG so right about you. Just got off the
saw a woman who looked just like you, phone w (Last text cut off intentionally)
earlier today. Very similar face and hair...but The key to making these work is that you should
I couldn't believe it was you because she had NEVER reveal the information that you are alluding
these really obnoxious knee-high boots on, to. You can give out pieces of it while making her
work for it, but you should never give out the entirety solutions :-) ok wiseguy, do you have a guess
of the information unless you simultaneously create that's ethically sound? (Taking the moral high
a new open loop which is even more powerful than ground is great for attraction)
the first. This is illustrated in the following example: Liz: Ah yes, she should be diagnosed w
schizophrenia (the healthy type of course) or a
Real Life Example Text Sequences: multiple personality disorder;-). Or an actress!
Vin: LOL
Case Study #1: Getting Callback Vin: Hmm i'm starting to think i already know a girl
Response like that...ambiguous interest)
Vin: I'm done. (Ambiguous opener) Liz: You must be a strangely happy man then ;-)
Sarah: Done with what? What afind!
Vin: A little dippy. 2nd favorite thing about you Vin: I would be. Except there's one little
Sarah: What's the first? problem(open loop)
Vin: well, you're a decent kisser and you're crazy Liz: They got the diagnosis wrong?! :-|
about music, which is cool but there's one little Vin: Nahh. The diagnosis is spot on. But it would
problem (another open loop) never work out. (false disqualifier)
Sarah: ??? Liz: Because you get 4 times the drama and
Vin: problem is, there's a man in her life and it's to potentially have to share? You haven't revealed point
make up his mind #2 yet. I'm obviously way off target..:-)
Sarah: so what's the verdict? Vin: Can't work because it's hard for this girl to be
Vin: it's too late, ugh this lifestyle (Double Entendre) close (Double entendre—close)
*she calls me* Liz: Physically or emotionally close? And what a
distraction you've been this afternoon ;-) Lol
Case Study #2: Amplifying Intrigue and Vin: You're telling me! I'm supposed to be outlining
Attraction my talk today haha
Vin: So what were you really doing at XBAR? Vin: Worth it though. I like the way you think:-)
(name removed) Not enough straight men in sf, (unique qualification)
huh;-) (This girl was a 10, so I'm teasing that she Keep in mind, when you cold-read a girl, or give her
might have trouble finding men) a compliment, you are SHAPING her future
Liz: Good question. Lol Actually I flew in early to behavior. Be careful what you encourage. For
celebrate my friend's bachelorette party. She was example, if you like women who are nurturing, notice
the young looking girl I kept excusing myself to talk ways in which she is nurturing, and tell her you like it.
to. If she cancels on you to be with her friend, don't
Liz: Speaking of straight men, there weren't many at encourage that by finding some silver lining to her
X-BAR (name removed) either! Lol... Are you actions, but don't react emotionally.
straight? *grin*
Vin: Not gay, lol. but it does take a certain kind of Case Study #3: Setting up a Meet
woman to hold my interest Vin: Hi! Something reminded me of u =)
(Giving her a challenge) Amy: oh yeah? like what?
Liz: Pray tell what kind of woman this might be ;-) Vin: Well, u know why i like u, right?
Vin: of course she must be attractive and successful (At this point she didn't answer for over an hour. I
in her own right. But i'm strange there's one more didn't get discouraged—reframed it and
thing continued)
(Creating Intrigue to keep her chasing) Vin: Hehe u don't have to answer, was at tea
Liz: Let me guess, she must spank you store wondering what it would feel like with
often? ;-) you (Double Entendre)
Vin: (no, lol) tension, anticipation, she knows Amy: Very sweet! (She responded very positively
how to create intrigue out of thin air... so I upped the ante, talked about meeting up,
(Showing I have unique standards) and dropped a double entendre)
Vin: Btw you gotta get your mind out the Vin: You too! Gonna make me come down
gutter;-) there =)
(Simple tease) Amy: When?
Liz: Ah.. an illusionist of sorts. My kind of woman Vin: Coming weekend? (Double Entendre)
too ;-). Problem is, challenging to maintain that Vin: Actually friday works best
level of anticipation once you're in an exclusive Amy: I was gonna say that.
/ship .. Vin: Friday it is
Vin: So there's really only two solutions l. Never Amy: K
get into relationship... What do you think #2 is? The key here is that when a woman is responding
(Open loop) positively to your intrigue by chasing, you can take
Liz: Juggle multiple women across the coast & advantage of that and start hinting about the meet.
continent? Or more deviously, get involved w a When she agrees to setting up the date, go directly
married woman :-) into working out logistical details. Suggesting a
Vin: I stand corrected, apparently there are 3 specific day that works for you is always a great
tactic. assumptively. When it is time to go back to your
place, just go. If she asks what's going on, intrigue
Getting her to meet up and false disqualifiers are your strongest tools:
Do not set up romantic dates, (ex. Going for dinner, ● "We are gonna stop at my place for a sec...
Going to the Movies, Going out for drinks) This ● "I have to show you this Youtube video"
creates too much pressure, too many expectations ● "You won't believe the view"
and destroys comfort. Instead, think of brief, ● "You can only come if you promise not to
inexpensive, casual activities that are easy for her to laugh"
commit to. It should be about the two of you getting ● "You can only come if you can behave
together and feeling comfortable - not an audition for yourself
a potential relationship, and not a way to impress her ● "You can come, but only for a little bit."
with your wallet. Meeting in public is also good, Another option is to just go, and act like it's
because it is safe for her (and you). Coffee, drinks, the most normal thing in the world. Lead her
shopping, bringing her along with you on a couple don't look to see if she'll come. If the two of
errands (say you need her help/female expertise) are you are having fun, why wouldn't she? Once
all good examples of where to start on the date. Tell in isolation, use the DiCarlo Escalation
her to meet you for coffee, instead of "the museum, Ladder Ramp. Start with kissing, and
dinner, and a movie." After coffee, transition to your escalate to sex according to the Ramp.
second activity (which, by coincidence, is Flaking is not mysterious and can be dramatically
progressively closer to your apartment), and then reduced by making the proper adjustments and
finally, end up at your apartment (or other venue following these guidelines:
where the two of you could be alone). It's possible
that the date will be quite difficult to set up, but you ● Handle the fundamentals.
must make it sound very easy and casual. In ● Balance your sexual desire with an element
addition, when you are with her on the date it is of non-neediness.
important that she does not get the impression that it ● Figure out logistics.
took a lot of work on your part to set it up. When ● Be smart about when to call.
suggesting the date, use intrigue, but don't sound ● Have fun creating tension with texts.
unsure. In other words, she should have the ● Lead without over-explaining yourself.
impression that you do indeed have a plan that is
safe and exciting, but don't give her all the This is the natural, powerful way to make those
details.Some women will "require" knowing what the phone numbers a reality!
plan is before committing to meeting with you.I put
"require" in quotes because it is 90% of the time, a Vin DiCarlo
bluff. If she gives you an ultimatum like "Tell me what
we are doing or I'm not going"—you can first tease
her for being so inquisitive, and that she should've
been a detective for a living. Then, be firm, hold your
ground and explain that you are going to give her an
experience she will enjoy, and that she should learn
to appreciate when people go out of their way to
create special and memorable moments for her.
If she presses, you can give her enough details
about the date so that she knows that she will be
safe. Tell her information that let's her know it will be
in public, or that you will be meeting your friends for
a brief moment. You can also give her advice on
what to wear on the date. Aside from giving her a bit
of information that she so desperately wants, it will
also provide additional intrigue as she tries to use
that hint to figure it out! Those are really her two
main issues anyway with wanting to know what you'll
be doing she wants to know she won't get killed, and
she wants to be dressed appropriately. Handle
those, and you'll be all set.

V - Getting her alone with you

When transitioning to an isolated venue, i.e. your
place, your body language is very important. Don't
leer or lean in. Turn slightly away from her, as if your
attention is focused elsewhere. Don't look at her and
say "would you like to drive to the diner?" Instead,
just say "I'm hungry. Let's go," and lead very