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Marriage in Islam
The Wife’s Rights
The Husband’s Rights

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Marriage in Islam
Marriage is one of the strongest
relationships Islam has stressed.
Marriage is one of the strongest relationships which Islam stresses,
encourages and considers as one of the prophets’ practices. (See page
202)

Indeed, Islam attaches much importance to marriage rulings, etiquette and

the spouses’ rights in such a way as to guarantee marital stability and
permanence and create a successful family in which children are brought
up enjoying psychological stability, observing devoutness and moral
integrity, and displaying excellence in various aspects of life.

These rulings include the following:

Islam has laid down several conditions for the validity of the marriage
contract. They are as follows:

The Conditions Islam Stipulates Regarding the Wife

1. The wife must be Muslim, Jewish or Christian, believing in her

religion. However, Islam encourages Muslim men to choose devout
Muslim women for this purpose because a practising Muslim will be
a good mother who will give her children the best possible
upbringing and help her husband adhere to the teachings of Islam.
As the Prophet said, “Marry a devout Muslim woman and you will
prosper.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree: 4802; Saheeh Muslim: 1466)
2. She must be a chaste woman, as it is forbidden to marry a woman
known for her lewdness and immorality. As the Qur’an states, “It is
lawful for you to marry the chaste believing women and the chaste
women of the people who were given the Book before you.” (Soorat
Al-Maa’idah, 5:5)
3. She must not be one of those women whom he is never permitted to
marry at any time in his life whatsoever (mahram) (See page 206),
nor must he marry two sisters at the same time or a woman and her
aunt at the same time.

The Conditions Islam Stipulates Regarding the Husband

The husband must be Muslim, and a Muslim woman is forbidden from

marrying a non-Muslim man, no matter what his religion may be and
whether he is a member of the People of the Book (i.e. Jewish or
Christian)or not. Islam stresses that a man must be accepted as a
husband as long as he meets the following two conditions:

Adherence to religion
Good character

The Prophet said, “If a man with whose religion and character you are
satisfied asks your daughter’s hand in marriage, comply with his request.”
(Sunan At-Tirmidhee: 1084; Sunan Ibn Maajah: 1967)
The Spouses’ Rights and Obligations
Allah has entitled husband and wife to certain rights, made it incumbent
upon both of them to discharge their duties and encourages them to
engage in anything that is bound to promote marital life and preserve it.
Indeed, they are both responsible for the welfare of the family and neither
of them should demand the other to do something beyond their capacity,
as the Qur’an states, “And women have rights similar to those of men over
them in kindness.” (Soorat Al-Baqarah, 2:228) Therefore, tolerance and
kindness are required to create a prosperous life and help build a strong
family.

The Wife’s Rights

1. Maintenance and Residence

A Muslim man is duty-bound to

support his wife and children in
kindness.

The wife’s maintenance entails her incontestable right to food, drink,

clothing, general care and a suitable home, even if she is wealthy.
How is the amount of maintenance calculated? The husband ought
to spend on his wife in accordance with his means without
extravagance or miserliness, as the Qur’an states, “Let the man of
means spend according to his means: and the man whose resources
are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him.
Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given
him.”(Soorat At-Talaaq, 65:7)
He must spend on her in kindness, without ever implying that he is
doing her favours or humiliating her in any way whatsoever. Indeed,
such maintenance is not a favour but a duty he ought to discharge
towards his wife in kindness, as the Qur’an clearly exhorts him.
When a Muslim man fulfils his duty of supporting his wife and
children, he will be rewarded abundantly by Allah, as the Prophet
said, “When a man spends on his family, anticipating Allah’s reward
in the hereafter, this act of his will be counted as an act of charity.”
(Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree: 4776; Saheeh Muslim: 1401) He also said,
“You will be rewarded for whatever you spend for Allah’s sake even if
it were a morsel of food which you put in your wife’s mouth.” (Saheeh
Al-Bukhaaree: 56; Saheeh Muslim: 1628) Those who refuse, or
neglect their duty to spend on their families despite their ability to do
so committing a terrible sin for their negligence, as the Prophet
said, “A man who neglects those who are under his care would surely
be committing a sin.” (Sunan Abu Daawood: 1692)
 2. Living with Them in Kindness

This means showing good character, kindness, gentleness in word and

deed and putting up with the occasional faults and negligence. As the
Qur’an states, “Live together with them courteously and in kindness. If you
dislike them, it may well be that you dislike something in which Allah has
placed a lot of good.” (Soorat An-Nisaa’, 4:19)

The Prophet said, “The believers who have perfect faith are those with
the best character, and the best of them are those who treat their women
the best.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhee: 1162)

“The believers who have perfect faith are those with the best character,
and the best among you are those who treat their wives the best.” (Sunan
At-Tirmidhee: 2612; Musnad Ahmad: 24677)

The best of you are the kindest towards their wives, and I am the kindest
amongst you to my wives.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhee: 3895)

One of the Prophet’s companions once asked him, “Messenger of Allah,

what is the right the wife of one of us has on him?” he said, “To feed her
whenever you feed yourself and to clothe her whenever you clothe
yourself; do not slap her across the face, revile her or separate yourself
from her except in the house.”(Sunan Abu Daawood: 2142)

3. Patience and Tolerance

A man must make allowances for women’s nature, which is obviously

different from that of men;he must also try to look at life from all sides,
considering the advantages and disadvantages of his wife, for no one is
free from faults. Both spouses must exercise patience and take into
account the positive aspects of each other’s personality, as the Qur’an
states, “Do not forget to show kindness to each other.” (Soorat Al-Baqarah,
2:237) The Prophet also said in this respect, “A believer must not
harbour any rancour against a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her
characteristics, he will certainly be pleased with another.” (Saheeh Muslim:
1469)

The Prophet urges men to treat women with kindness, pointing their
attention to the fact that women’s emotional and psychological nature is
different from that of men, that such differences between men and women
are in actual fact complementary and must in no way give rise to discord
and eventual divorce. The Prophet said, “Treat women well and with
kindness, for a woman was created from the rib and thus she will not be
straightened according to your way. If you want to enjoy her, you will have
to enjoy her with her twist. If you try to straighten her, you will break her,
and breaking her is divorcing her.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree: 3153; Saheeh
Muslim: 1468)

4. Spending the Night with the Wife

The husband is recommended to spend the night with his wife and must
do so at least once every four days. He must also observe equal division
of nights between co-wives in cases of polygamy.

5. Defending Her, Representing His Honour

When a man marries a woman, she becomes his ‘honour’ which he must
stubbornly defend even if he gets killed in the process, as the Prophet
said, “Whoever is killed defending his wife is a martyr.” (Sunan
At-Tirmidhee: 1421; Sunan Abu Daawood: 4772)

6. Not Revealing Bedroom Secrets

The husband must not talk to others about his wife’s particularities and
bedroom secrets to other people. The Prophet said, “The worst person
in the eyes of Allah on the Day of Judgement is that couple who have an
intimate relationship with each other and the man then reveals their
bedroom secrets to others.” (Saheeh Muslim: 1437)

7. Not Engaging in Aggressive or Hostile Actions against her

To solve marital problems, Islam has laid down a number of rules,

including the following:

Problems may be solved through constructive dialogue and wisdom

in order to correct mistakes.
In cases of rebellion, disloyalty and ill-conduct, the husband may
stop talking to her, but without exceeding three days; if this course of
action does not seem to work, then he may temporarily abandon her
in bed or abstain from the usual sexual intimacy, but without leaving
the house.
‛Aa’ishah ~ narrated, “Allah’s Messenger never hit anything with his
hand ever, except when fighting in the path of Allah. Nor did he ever
hit a servant or a woman.” (Saheeh Muslim: 2328)

8. Teaching and Advising Her

The husband must enjoin his family members to act rightly and forbid
them to act inappropriately. He ought to strive hard to help them follow the
path that leads to Paradise and avoid those paths that lead to Hellfire.
Teaching them by precept and example, he can do so by acting on obeying
Allah’s commands and avoiding things He has prohibited. The wife must
also advise her husband, guide him to the right path and discuss with him
ways of giving the best possible upbringing to their children. As the Qur’an
states, “O You who believe, safeguard yourselves and your families from a
Fire whose fuel is people and stones.” (Soorat At-Tahreem, 66:6) The
Prophet also said in this regard, “Every one of you is a guardian and is
responsible for those in his custody.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree: 2416; Saheeh
Muslim: 1829)

9. Honouring the Conditions Stipulated by the Wife

The husband must honour the

marriage contract and fulfil the
conditions stipulated in it.
If the wife makes a stipulation at the time of concluding the marriage
contract, such as having a particular kind of accommodation or expenses
and the husband agrees to such a condition, he must fulfil such an
obligation, for a marriage contract is one of the most solemn agreements
and obligations. The Prophet said, “Of all the conditions which you have
to fulfil, the conditions which make it legal for you to have sexual relations
(i.e. the marriage contract) have the greatest right to be fulfilled.” (Saheeh
Al-Bukhaaree: 4856; Saheeh Muslim: 1418)

The Husband’s Rights

1. Obedience in Kindness

Allah has placed men in charge of women, being responsible for their
maintenance, guidance and general care, due to the characteristics with
which He has endowed them, in addition to the money they spend to
support them. As the Qur’an states, “Men have charge of women because
Allah has preferred the one above the other and because they spend their
wealth on them.” (Soorat An-Nisaa’, 4:34)

2. Attentiveness to His Sexual Needs

A Muslim woman must be attentive to her husband’s sexual needs and is

recommended to beautify herself for him. If she refuses to respond to his
legitimate sexual advances, she would be committing a monstrous sin,
unless there is a legitimate excuse, such as being on her menses, making
up an obligatory fast she has previously missed or being sick.
The Prophet said, “If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses, and
then he spends the night angry with her, the angels will continue to curse
her until the mofning.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree: 3065; Saheeh Muslim:
1436).

3. Not Allowing Anyone He Does not Like in His House

This is his right which she must respect. The Prophet said, “It is not
lawful for a woman to observe a voluntary fast without the permission of
her husband, nor is it lawful for her to allow anyone to enter his house
without his permission.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree: 4899)

4. Not Leaving the House without His Permission

One of the husband’s rights is that she is not allowed to leave the house
without his permission, whether she wants to go out for a personal or
general need.

5. Service
A woman is recommended to serve her husband in kindness by preparing
meals for him and undertaking other household chores.