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Paper Planes

Image Description heartlessnostalgia | 21 November 2019

"I might wanna fly like a paper plane but in the end, I'd still choose falling for you..."

Let's finish Ejercito! For more feels, listen to "Later by Fra Lippo Lippi" when you reached THAT part!

xxx

Kabanata 18

Is it too late?

Of course, it probably is, Leona. It probably is.

"Hey, eat." Nabaling ang atensyon ko kay Floyd at napakurap.

"Hmm?"

"Eat your food, kanina ka pa wala sa sarili." He whispered, I managed to stare at my untouch food and
then forced a smile to him.

"Ayos lang, Floyd. Wala kasi akong gana." I said.

I saw him sighed and put my hair behind my ear.

"Is it because of him?" He asked and I looked away.

"Sino?" I pretended and played with my fork.

"Ejercito," He said. I froze, nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya at natawa.

"No, bakit mo naman naisip 'yan?" I asked and cleared my throat.

"Stop lying, Lena. I know your eyes." He said.

Lumunok ako at iginalaw ang pagkain ko at tahimik na kumain.

"Lena," I heard Cess' voice kaya nilingon ko s'ya. She sat beside me, nakita kong kasama ang date n'ya.

"Cess," I called and smiled. "Kumusta?"

"I'm fine," I chuckled. "Stop worrying about me, ayos lang ako."

Nakita kong nagtinginan si Floyd at Cess kaya umiling ako sa kanila. I slowly crossed my arms on my chest
looked at them.

"I'm fine, really. Ilang taon na ang nakalipas... He isn't affected anymore kaya ako rin." Kumbinse ko pero
mukhang kilalang-kilala ako ng mga kaibigan ko at tahimik akong pinagmasdan.

"What? It's a party, we should be happy!" I cheered.

"Stop faking your smile," Kinurot ni Floyd ang pisngi ko kaya ngumiwi ako at tinampal s'ya.

"It's sincere!" I smiled even bigger at natawa na sa akin si Floyd at ginulo ang buhok ko.

"Come on, Lena. We're your friends and we understand you." Ani Cess roon.

I sighed, sumandal sa upuan ko at sumisim ng juice.

"Do...I still look affected?" I asked quietly, taking a glance at Ejercito on the other side of the place.

Nasa tabi n'ya sa Emily at mukhang nag-uusap. I saw her said something and Ejercito smiled and laughed
a bit.

"Seeing you right now? Yes." Ani Cess kaya napalunok ako.

"And he still looks affected to me too," Sabay kaming napatingin kay Floyd nang magsalita ito.
"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I felt like I'm digging my own grave, Lena." Aniya at natawa. "Damn that Sandejas, mamamatay ata ako
sa tingin n'ya."

Naguguluhang tumingin lang ako rito at nag-antay ng paliwanag.

"Pero ano n'ya si Emily? Friend?" Sabat sa amin ni Cess kaya nabaling ang atensyon ko rito.

"He's probably moved on," I said, stopping the both of them. "He probably let go of me, ako lang naman
ang na-stuck dito kasi ako ang nang-iwan, diba?"

"Paano kung hindi?" Ani Cess.

"Should I kiss you infront of him, Lena? To know?" Seryosong sabi ni Floyd kaya binatukan ko s'ya ng
malakas.

He groaned, natawa naman si Cess at sumimangot ako nang humalakhak si Floyd at pinisil ang ilong ko.

"Para malaman na natin ang sagot, oh? You like? Ayos lang masapak sa mukha." Floyd joked.

"Kunwari ka pa, Floyd!" Cess snorted. "Let me remind you na crush na crush mo si Leona at siguradong
gustong-gusto mo rin halikan 'yan!"

"Ano ngayon?" Ngiwi ni Floyd. "Atleast, double purpose, na-kiss ko na ang crush ko, nalaman pa kung kay
gusto pa si Sandejas sa kanya!"
Sinakal ko si Floyd sa irita at tawa naman ng tawa ang loko at tinanggal ang kamay ko sa leeg n'ya.

"Lena! Sweetheart!" He exclaimed at napasinghap ako nang makitang napabaling sa amin ang iba.

I heard their tease kaya nanlaki ang mata ko at mabilis na napabitaw sa leeg ni Floyd. He coughed and
laughed, napatawa rin si Cecille sa tabi ko at tumikhim ako.

"Sorry..." I murmured and looked down.

"He just walked out, one point." Ani Floyd kaya napasulyap ako sa kabilang table at nakitang wala na
roon si Jer.

"Baka nagbanyo," I commented but my heart keeps on beating rapidly inside my chest.

"Kausapin ko nga mamaya," Ani Cecille kaya nanlaki ang mata ko.

"No! Don't you dare." I exclaimed.

"What? Why?" Tawa ni Cess sa akin.

"As if papansinin pa tayo n'yan?" I told her, "Well, uhm, maybe pero how sure are we? Baka aloof na sa
atin 'yung tao, it's been years."

"Hindi magiging aloof 'yang si Sandejas," Komento ni Cess. "He nodded when I smiled to him earlier."

"Atsaka, ang sama naman siguro kung hindi ako papansinin, diba?" Ani Cess. "Parang wala tayong
pinagsamahan dati, ah?"
"Hindi natin alam...maraming nagbago sa nakalipas na taon." I murmured.

"Feelings don't change that easily when you truly love someone," Ani Floyd na inilagay ang braso sa
likuran ng upuan ko at sumimsim ng wine.

"But it will change if you got hurt, if you found that someone better than the person who hurt you." I
said, nang makita ko ang wine na hawak ng waiter ay iniangat ko ang kamay ko at kumuha.

I sighed, sumimsim ng wine at wala sa sariling bumaling sa kabilang parte ng lugar.

I saw Jer walking on his dominant pace with his hand on his pocket, kita ko ang hangang tingin na
ibinigay ng mga ka-batchmates ko at ng mga professor sa tahimik n'yang pagdaan pabalik sa table.

Then I saw Emily, I saw her put her hand on his arms and I smiled a bit.

"Bagay naman sila," I said.

"That sounded bitter to me," Cess murmured and sipped on her drink.

Nalibang lang ako nang matapos ang kainan at may mini program na naganap at pagkatapos ay muli
akong na-corner ng faculty members at pinaulanan nanaman ng tanong at papuri.

"Thank you, Ma'am, Sir." I chuckled. "I really did my best to win, though, I have doubts since ang gagaling
ng mga kalaban ko."

"You really did great, hija! Hanga ang buong university sa'yo! And you know, we took a day off in the
university when you won?"
Nanlaki ang mata ko at napuno ang puso sa tuwa.

"R-Really, that's too much po." I chuckled.

"Hindi naman, we really wanted to support you so we did that. Sa next pageants mo, aabangan ulit
namin!" They cheered.

"Thank you," I said sincerely.

"Oh, the black sheep is here!" Narinig ko ang asaran ng faculty and when I heard a husky laugh behind
me, I froze.

"You all are so mean to me," Ejercito's hoarse voice filled my ear and my heart almost burst.

"Masyado mong ginalingan, e!" Atty. Recez commented, nakita kong umalis sa harapan ko at pinuntahan
si Jer.

"Akalain mo, noon, natutulog ka lang sa klase ko!" Nagsitawanan sila roon at halos manghina ang tuhod
ko nang maramdaman ang presensya ni Ejercito sa tabi ko.

"Ang batang ito! You even topped the bar exam!" Mrs. Flores even commented.

"That's luck, Ma'am." Jer laughed.

"Oh, well, ang swerte ng luck na 'yan! Ilan ang mali mo sa exam, tatlo?" She joked and they laughed
again.
"Akalain mo ang mga batang ito, this batch is probably one of the most successful one. We got here,
Miss Abelló, tahi-tahimik dati pero halimaw talaga sa pageants. Beauty and brain!"

Tipid lang akong nangiti at pinapakiramdaman si Jer sa tabi ko.

Hindi ako lilingon sa kanya! Hindi!

"And Mr. Sandejas, ilan ba ang record mo sa dean's office, hijo?" She teased Jer that he just laughed and
spoke.

"I lost count, Ma'am." He answered.

"I'm so proud, nakakatuwa naman talaga kayong tignang dalawa." She murmured kaya umangat ang
tingin ko sa kanya. "Parang dati, Ejercito, buntot ka palagi nitong si Lena, ah?"

Shit...

"Sinabi mo pa, hindi kompleto ang tandem nitong dalawa kapag hindi magkasama!" Mr. Recez
commented and they laughed again.

This is freaking awkward!

I laughed awkwardly, naramdaman ko ang marahang pagbangga ng katawan ko kay Jer kaya napasinghap
ako.

"Himala ata at hindi kayo nagkukulitan ngayon, ah?" Our former professor asked, looking at the both of
us.
"Uh..." Sa sobrang paghaharumentado na nararamdaman ko ay naapakan ko ang gown ko at bahagyang
nawalan ng balanse.

My eyes widen, napakapit sa katabi ko pero hindi ako natumba nang may brasong mabilis na sumalo sa
baywang ko.

Napasinghap ako, nagkatinginan kami ni Ejercito at parang lilipad na patungong kung saan ang puso ko sa
sobrang pagkabog nito.

His starled, deep blue eyes stared at me. His mouth slightly parted. Nanlalaki rin ang mata ko at kung
hindi lang n'ya ako inalalayan patayo ay wala na ako sa sarili.

"Careful," His manly voice said when he assisted me.

"S-Sorry..." I murmured.

Mabilis akong napabitaw sa braso ni Ejercito nang makatayo at naramdaman ko ang marahang pagkalas
ni Jer ng braso n'ya sa baywang ko at tumikhim.

"Uh, excuse me po, restroom lang." I said and before I could even get their answers, marahan akong
umalis roon sa pwesto nila at halos takbuhin na ang banyo.

I remained composed, ngumingiti sa bawat taong nakasalubong pero nang makarating ako sa cubicle at
maisara iyon ay walang pakundangang nagsibagsakan ang luha ko.

I felt like the heavy weight inside my chest becomes heavier, tila sinasakal ako at pinapatay. I touched my
chest and cried silently, shaking my head with the feelings I've been hiding inside me.
Hindi ka pwedeng umiyak, Leona! Hindi!

I keep on chanting myself but I can't control it, naupo ako sa sahig ng cubicle habang sapo ang bibig ko at
hindi lumakas ang mga hikbi.

Kasalan ko naman! Kasalan ko kaya wala akong karapatang umiyak!

Sorry...I'm so sorry, Jer. Mahal na mahal kita kaya ko nagawa 'yun, I'm so sorry.

Hindi ko na alam kunh gaano ako katagal sa banyo, nang mahimasmasan ako at kumalma ay nanghihina
akong naglakad palabas ng cubicle at tumitig sa sarili sa salamin.

You're so stupid, Abelló! Iiyak ka pero ikaw ang nang-iwas. How stupid are you?

I decided to just fixed myself, I freshened up, trying to cover up the tears I had pero habang nakatingin
ako sa sarili ko ay napapailing ako.

My eyes are puffy and swollen! I should just probably go home!

Binitbit ko ang pouch ko at naglakad palabas. I almost jumped when I saw Ejercito leaning on the wall
just infront of the bathroom.

Nang magtagpo ang mata namin ay nakita ko ang pag-igting ng panga n'ya at ang pag-iwas n'ya ng tingin.

I opened my mouth to speak but he suddenly walked towards the men's restroom without any words.

Ipinikit ko ang mata at kumuyom ang kamay.

Stop assuming he came and still cares for you, Leona!

Umiling ako at nagmamadaling naglakad palabas sa hallway na iyon pabalik sa main hall nang
makasalubong ko si Emily.

I almost gasped when we our gaze met pero mabuti nalang ay hindi ko nagawa.

"Hi, Lena!" She cheered when she saw me.

"Uhm, hi." Tipid kong sabi.

"Nice meeting you again, you're beautiful, as always." She gave me a sweet smile.

"Thank you," Tipid kong sabi.

She nodded at me and smiled again before looking somewhere else.

"Anyway, Lena, have you seen my boyfriend?" What she said stopped me, nakita kong ngumuso s'ya
nang hindi ako nakapagsalita at ngumiti.

"Oh, sorry, I mean si Jer." Napatakip s'ya sa bibig n'ya. "That was supposed to be a secret for now but
nasabi ko."

Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko pero napatango ako at nanatiling nakatingin sa kanya.

"Pero alam mo na..." She pouted and raised her finger over her lips. "Kaya secret muna nating tatlo, huh?
Ejercito's quite shy kaya kami palang ang nakakaalam. Sasabihin rin namin sa parents n'ya soon."

Parang sinaksak ang puso ko roon pero tumango lang ako ulit at tipid na ngumiti.

"Napansin mo ba s'ya? I can't get a hold of him kasi, umalis daw kanina papuntang banyo at baka
hinahanap ako." She said.

"Hindi ko napansin," I lied. "But maybe you can check."

"Oh, ganun ba?" She pouted then smiled at me. "Sige, puntahan ko lang s'ya."

I nodded, started walking steadily and composed but when she was gone, the smile I am faking faded,
naglandas ang luha sa mata ko kaya mabilis ko iyong pinalis at mabilis na naglakad paalis.

Kaagad akong sinalubong nina Floyd na natatawa pa habang kausap si Cess.

"Saan ka ba nanggaling?" Ani Cess at hinawakan ang braso ko.

"Dyan lang," I said and drinked a half glass of wine from the waiter.

"Oh, dahan-dahan!" Ani Floyd nang makita ako at marahang inabot mula sa akin ang wine glass.

"Ayos lang ako," I said, trying my best not to look at them. "Medyo gusto ko lang maglasing para
makatulog ng mahimbing."

"Maybe you two should talk," Cess commented.

"There's no need for that," I chuckled blankly. "Ayoko nang manggulo, naka-move on na 'yung tao." I
drinked the half left.

"Paano nga kung hindi?"

"He moved on," I said. "Tama na, please."

Doon na natahimik ang dalawa, nakita kong pinagmasdan ako ni Cess pero tipid lang akong ngumiti sa
kanya.

She sighed and stood, may sinabi sa boyfriend n'ya at pumunta sila sa gitna.

I remained sitting there, for almost half an hour. Nasa tabi ko lang si Floyd at tahimik lang rin.

"Why don't you dance, Floyd?" I asked him.

"For what?" He asked, his forehead creased. "They're having fun, look, nasa gitna sila at nagsasayaw. I
think you should dance with girls too."

"Nah," He chuckled. "Dadamayan lang kita dito."

"Hindi ka naman brokenhearted ah?" Biro ko pa sa kanya.

"Brokenhearted ako," He chuckled and stared at me. "Kasi 'yung gusto ko nasasaktan sa taong mahal
n'ya."
I froze and I saw how his lip twitched then laughed and pinched my cheek.

"Sounds weird but I'll be good if you will be genuinely happy again." He said.

I smiled at him, pabirong tinampal ang mukha n'ya at marahang sumandal sa kanya.

"Thank you, Floyd, and I'm sorry."

"No worries, hindi mo naman ako pinapaasa. You clearly told me that friendship is all you can give so I
accept it, it's my choice to still be close with you." Aniya.

Mas bumigat ang puso ko sa sinabi n'ya at napabuntong-hininga.

"Don't sigh that heavy again, Lena, dadalhin mo 'yan hanggang pagtanda." Panakot pa n'ya kaya
napailing ako sa kanya at ngumiti.

Tahimik kami ng ilang sandali pero nang tumayo si Floyd at hilahin ako papuntang gitna ng hall para
magsayaw ay hindi na ako umalma.

"Why suddenly dance me?" I asked him but he just chuckled and winked.

"Wala lang, basta." He said mysteriously.

I just pouted, marahan kaming nagsayaw sa gitna hanggang sa makita kong halos malapit lang sa amin na
nagsasayaw si Ejercito at...Cecille?

What?
My forehead creased.

I saw Cecille said something and Jer said something too at maya-maya pa ay nagtawanan ang dalawa
roon. My lip parted when Cecille smacked Ejercito's nape with her hand.

I swear, Cecille, if you ever told Jer about my feelings then, yari ka sa akin!

Bigla akong iniikot ni Floyd kaya nawala ang atensyon ko sa dalawa at pinagpalit ang pwesto naming
dalawa.

Now my back is in the two of them kaya hindi ko na makita!

I attempted to look behind me pero ang abnormal na Floyd ay ayaw akong pakawalan.

Halos matipalok ako nang may tumama sa likod ko at mas nagwala ang puso ko nang makaamoy ng
pamilyar na pabango.

"Ay, Ejercito, nagbago ka na. Ayoko na sa'yOK. Hindi ka na marunong sumayaw, maghahanap na ako ng
ibang partner." Cecille, my freaking friend exclaimed and my eyes widen.

"Ay, Floyd, nandyan ka pala!" Cecilled called.

Ramdam ko pa rin ang lalaking nakasandal rin sa likod ko kaya nanlalaki ang mata ko.

"Tara, ikaw nalang ang partner ko!" Nang bitawan ako ni Floyd ay parang mabubuwal ako.
"Pero hmm, mabait naman ako, Jer. Dahil hindi na kita gusto kasayaw, bigyan nalang kitang bagong
partner." Naramdaman ko ang pagpihit ni Cecille kay Ejercito sa likuran ko at nanatili pa rin akong
nakatalikod at nanlalaki ang mata.

Damn! Damn you, Cecille!

Cecille's eyes and mine met, pinanlakihan ko s'ya ng mata but the woman pretended to be shock when
she saw me.

"Hala, si Lena pala ito!" Napatakip pa s'ya ng bibig at simaan ko s'ya ng tingin at umiling ng pasimple pero
hindi ako pinansin at pasimpleng inabot ako at marahang hinila paharap kay Ejercito na nakatitig na sa
akin.

"What a coincidence!" Cecille exclaimed and I silently cursed her inside my head!

Shit, Cecille! What have you done?!

Parang tanga kaming nagtitigan ni Ejercito.

"Galaw-galaw, brothers and sisters!" Cecille exclaimed, pulled me towards Ejercito and I gasped in shock
when I slammed on his chest like a paper!

"Shit!" Sa gulat ko at bilis ng pangyayari ay mabilis na inalalayan ni Ejercito angbaywang ko at inayos ako
ng tayo.

"Cess, careful, baka nasaktan." I heard Ejercito quietly talked to my friend but she just laughed.

"Hindi 'yan nasaktan, Lena pa ba, strong 'yan!" Cecille chuckled. "Sige, maiwan ko na kayo. Enjoy!"
Mabilis akong humiwalay kay Ejercito nang makaalis ang kaibigan ko at tumikhim habang inaayos ang
sarili ko.

"S-Sorry..." I murmured, shy and embarassed.

Hindi s'ya nagsalita kaya marahan akong nag-angat ng tingin at nang magtagpong muli ang mata namin
ay nagharumentado nanaman ang sistema ko.

How could you come with me

when you knew all along that you had to go

How could you watch me sleep so close to you

pretending not to know

I heard a familiar song in the background, may taong umatras sa likuran ko at natamaan ako kaya
napalapit ako kay Ejercito ng bahagya.

How could you memorize my name

and forget who I am

How could you think you're still the same

believing I can

My eyes widen, napalingon ako sa paligid at nakita ang lahat na nagsasayaw at muling napatingin kay
Ejercito na binasa ang kanyang labi at tumikhim at inilahad ang kamay n'ya.

"Can...I have this dance?" He whispered.

#Heartlessnostalgia #Sandejas

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Paper Planes

Image Description heartlessnostalgia | 14 November 2019

"I might wanna fly like a paper plane but in the end, I'd still choose falling for you..."

Kabanata 19

My mouth parted, nakita ko ang seryosong tingin n'ya at kahit nagwawala ang puso at nagdadalawang-
isip ay dinala ng puso ko ang kamay ko papunta sa kanya.

He gripped on my hand and slowly pulled me closer. Nang magdikit kaming dalawa ay marahang
ipinatong n'ya ang kamay ko sa kanyang balikat.

I felt his hand on my waist, halos mapaso ako sa dalang init ng kamay n'ya.
Nangilid ang luha ko kaya pasimple akong tumungo at marahang sinabayan s'ya sa paggalaw.

"Paano kapag wala kang nakitang gusto mong maging asawa pag matanda ka na?" Out of nowhere,
Ejercito asked while we're in the middle of the soccerfield.

"Anong klaseng tanong 'yan?" Natawa ako at ibinaba ang tingin sa kanya.

He was resting, ginagawang unan ang hita ko.

"Seryosong tanong, Harriet." He opened his eyes and stared at me.

I was quiet but deep inside, my heart is pounding with his smouldering blue eyes...I saw how the blue
skies reflected on it.

"Bakit? Para saan?" I asked and brushed his hair.

"Para sa research," He said and I rolled my eyes and flicked his forehead. He groaned, napahawak sa noo
n'ya at sinimangutan ako.

"Harriet!" He whinned.

"Lena nga kasi," I snorted. Sinuklay ko ang buhok n'ya gamit ang daliri ko at napailing.

"Alam mo, Sandejas, magsuklay ka ng maayos. Baka mamaya may garapata na 'to!"

Napangiwi s'ya sa sinabi ko at inabot ang pisngi ko at kinurot.

"Excuse me, hon, but my hair smells good!" Aniya at tinampal ko ang kamay n'ya.

"Stop calling me by your endearments, I'm not one of your girls." Reklamo ko.

"Who said you're like them?" His forehead creased.

"Wala," I murmured.

"Wala naman pala, you'll never be like them. You're an exemption for everything, Harriet."

"Paanong exemption?" I asked, confused.

"Basta, sagutin mo muna 'yung tanong ko." Aniya.

Napaisip naman ako roon, nang may inilapit sa bibig ko si Jer ay napatingin ako sa kanya.

"Open your mouth," Aniya. Tumalima ako at kinain ang chips na ibinigay n'ya at ngumuya habang nag-
iisip.

"Hmm, baka maghanap nalang ako ng kaya kong pakisamahan? O kaya ako nalang mag-isa. Kaya ko
naman siguro." I said and I noticed him staring at me.

"Kapag wala ka pang nagustuhan bago ka tumanda..." Panimula n'ya kaya napasulyap ako sa kanya.

"Anong gagawin mo?" I asked.

"Papakasalan kita," He said and winked at tinampal ko ang noo n'ya sa gulat.

Sa kabila ng marahang tunog at maraming tao ay mas nanginginabaw ang malakas na kabog ng puso ko. I
slowly rested my head on his chest and felt the loud thud in it.

I love you, Sandejas.

I whispered in my mind.

Whatever happens, kahit alam kong hindi ka para sa akin, ikaw pa rin ang may-ari ng puso ko. Even if we
weren't destined for each other, you will always be my home.

Sana maging masaya ka sa buhay na mayroon ka ngayon, you reached your dreams, hon. You have a
great life, you have a beautiful girlfriend.

Masaya ako. Sobra, dahil nakamit n'ya ang pangarap namin para sa kanya pero hindi mawala ang hapdi
sa puso kong hindi na ako ang nagmamay-ari ng puso n'ya.

Sumagi sa utak ko ang mga pangakong sinabi namin sa isa't-isa, ang mga pangakong hindi kami
maghihiwalay.

Ang pangakong pinakawalan ko na parang isang saranggola lang at hinayaang sumabay sa ihip ng hangin
palayo sa akin.

My hand started shaking in pain and regrets pero pinilit kong kumalma at mas kumapit sa kanyang
balikat.
I felt him stopped for awhile, hindi naman ako umimik at pinigilan ang paglandas ng luha sa mga mata ko
pero nang maramdaman ko ang pag-abot ng kamay n'ya sa kamay ko ay nawala na ako sa sarili.

He reached for my hand, bahagyang lumayo ako at napasulyap sa kanya at nakita ko kung paano bumaba
ang tingin n'ya sa nanginginig kong kamay.

"You're shaking," He whispered.

Sa takot ko ay inagaw ko ang kamay ko mula sa kanya at bahagyang napaatras.

"P-Pasensya na, medyo napagod lang ako." I lied and looked away.

I heard him sighed, nagulat ako nang hawakan n'ya ang baywang ko at marahang inalalayan palayo sa
mga tao.

"I...I can walk alone." I said, panicking and looked at him.

"No," He said, I saw his forehead creased, his jaw clenched a bit and walked with me.

Nang makalabas kami sa mga tao sa gitna at makabalik sa upuan ko ay naghaharumentado ang puso ko.

I saw a waiter near me holding a tray of wine kaya inabot ko iyon pero hindi ko na nagawang inumin
nang maramdaman ang kamay ni Ejercito sa wine glass na hawak ko.

Nagkatinginan kami, I saw how his jaw clenched again and spoke.

"That's bad for you," He said.

Napalunok ako at kumuyom ang kamay.

"Kaya ko," I said. "Tsaka ngayon lang ako iinom."

"You've been drinking a few glasses of this since earlier," Pansin n'ya kaya natigilan ako roon at nanlaki
ang mata.

"This is gonna be your third glass so I won't let you." He said at wala na akong nagawa at mabilis na
binitawan ang wine glass.

I saw relief on his eyes when I let go of the glass, nang umupo ako ay nakita kong inabot n'ya ang tubig
mula sa panibagong waiter na dumaan at iniabot sa akin.

"Here, drink this." He said.

"T-Thanks," Tinanggap ko ang tubig at uminom, nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya at nakita kong kunot
ang noo n'ya habang pinagmamasdan lang ako.

"Are you even eating right?" He asked and I almost choked.

I saw him panicked a bit and took the glass from me before sitting.

"You okay?" He asked.

Napaubo ako at tumango bago s'ya binigyan ng alanganing ngiti.

"O-Oo, salamat."

He nodded, tumingin sa paligid at pasimple ko s'yang tinitigan at napansin lahat ng bago sa kanya.

He still looks a lot like my Sandejas years ago, smouldering blue eyes, aristocrat nose, thin red lips and
sharp jaw but it just got a lot more sharper and matured.

His stance is manly before but now, he holds that kind of authority that my kness could even start
wobbling.

He has a clean cut hair and the suit he is wearing fitted his body just as those models from photoshoots
I've been...just that he looks better, well, great actually.

I bit my lip, napahawak ako sa dibdib ko at sumulyap kay Ejercito na nahuli kong nakatingin sa akin, nang
makita ako ay tumikhim s'ya at nag-iwas.

I wanted to touch him, badly.

Pero hindi naman ako pwede sa kanya.

"I've been looking for you, Jer! Nandyan ka pala!" Nawala ang pansin ko kay Ejercito nang makita si Emily
na lumapit sa amin.

I saw how her eyes narrowed at me, her forehead creased. Kita ko ang pagtalim ng mata nito pero
kaagad na ngumiti nang bumaling rito si Jer.

"What?" Jer asked.

"Hinahanap kita kanina pa, bigla ka nalang nawawala." Ani nito.

I felt my heart constricted at that, tumayo si Jer nang napatayo ako sa upuan ko.

"Oh, si Lena pala 'to!" Emily looked shock when she saw me, napatakip pa s'ya sa bibig n'ya at
napasinghap.

"Emily," I called and nodded.

"Ikaw pala 'yan," She chuckled, nakita ko ang pagkapit n'ya sa braso ni Ejercito kaya napalunok ako.

I lifted my head to see his reaction when a grip on my waist stopped me, napalingon ako sa tabi ko at
nakita si Floyd na nakangiti sa akin.

"You okay, sweetheart?" I almost jumped when Floyd kissed my cheek, narinig ko ang igik ni Cecille na
nakita iyon habang papalapit.

Damn you, Floyd! Shit.

Gulat akong napatingin kay Ejercito. His eyes are now almost black and cold, kita ko ang pagtikom ng
bibig n'ya at ang pagtanggal ng kamay ni Emily sa braso n'ya.

"I have to go, Emily. I have a client to meet tonight, I texted your driver to fetch you." He said.

I saw how Emily's mouth parted.

"Hindi mo ako ihahatid?" She asked, annoyed.

"You want to come here so I let you, I have a meeting to attend so I can't do it." Ani nito.

Emily sighed then nodded.

"Okay, babawi ka sa akin!" Emily demanded and I saw Jer just stared at her and nodded.

I smiled bitterly.

Hindi mo pa rin s'ya matiis, Jer. Mahal na mahal mo siguro.

"I-uuwi na kita, are you tired?" Biglang tanong ni Floyd kaya napasulyap ako sa kanya at ngumiti.

"Yes, thank you, Floyd. Papaalam lang muna ako." I said.

He nodded and smiled, nakita kong nakangisi roon si Cecille sa isang gilid at nang sumulyap ako kay
Ejercito ay malamig lang itong nakatingin sa akin.

My heart jumped rapidly, tumikhim ako at pilit na ngumiti kay Ejercito.

"Nice...seeing you again, Jer." I smiled while saying that. "Bye,"

He nodded, his jaw clenched a bit and his eyes darken, kita ko ang pagtapon n'ya ng tingin kay Floyd
bago tumingin sa akin.

"Goodbye, Miss Abellò." He said coldly.

My heart felt like it was torn into pieces, I saw how Emily smirked when Jer walked away, hinabol pa n'ya
ito at pilit na kumapit sa braso.

"That fucktard!" Floyd hissed beside me but I manage to laugh and stare at him.

"I wish I called him Mr. Sandejas." I joked but he just sighed at me and flicked my forehead.

"Alam mo, sa susunod na pageant mo anong award mo? Best liar of the year." Floyd commented.

"Oh, Leona, ito na ang korona!" Biglang entrada ni Cecille at may ipinatong kuno sa ulo ko kaya natawa
nalang ako at hindi pinansin ang sinabi nila.

I woke up the next day feeling tired, hindi pa sana ako tatayo kung hindi pa ako bulabugin ni Mommy.

"Waking up like this isn't healthy, Leona!" My Mom said when I opened my eyes.

I yawned, marahang umupo sa kama at sumulyap sa kanya na ngayon ay nakatingin sa akin.

"Sorry, Mamá." I murmured.

"Okay, take a bath, breakfast is ready." Aniya at tumango ako bago ngumiti.

I sighed when she left.

Paanong hindi ako magigising ng maaga kung halos wala naman akong tulog? I reached home near
midnight and slept when it's almost three in the morning.
I just coudn't sleep...

I sighed, naglakad ako patungo sa banyo at naligo. Bumaba ako sa kusina pagkatapos at kaagad na
naabutan ang parents kong kumakain na roon.

Nakaupo sa kabisera si Papá, habang si Mamá ay sumisimsim ng tea.

"Lena, sit." She pointed my seat.

I nodded, nagtungo ako roon pagkatapos humalik sa kanila at kumuha ng pagkain.

"Ma, can I go to our cakeshop today?" I asked and I saw her forehead creased at that.

"Don't eat too much sweets, Lena. May photoshoot ka next week." Sita n'ya sa akin.

"Just let your daughter eat whatever she likes," Biglang sabat ni Dad na ibinaba ang newspaper. My smile
widened at that, nakita kong napailing si Mamá at napahinga.

"Okay...you can, just for today." Aniya. "Tsaka, okay, I'll allow you to look after our shop for now habang
wala ka pang ginagawa."

"Thank you, Mom!" I smiled widely.

"But hija, walang sasakyang makakapaghatid sa'yo." Ani Dad. "Pinapalitan pa ang gulong at baka
mamayang hapon pa."
"I can commute," I said.

"Sigurado ka?" Ani Mamá at tinaasan ako ng kilay.

"Yes, kaya ko naman." I chuckled.

"Natatakot ako at makilala ka r'yan sa daan!"

"Hindi naman ako sikat," Tawa ko pa.

"Anong hindi?" She raised her brow. "The magazines, billboards and television has faces of you all over!
Impossibleng hindi ka makilala."

"I doubt naman na may gagawin sila." I said.

She just looked at me then sighed, shaking her head.

"Sige, mag-ingat ka."

I was smiling when I got to go out of the house. This is my goal for today, to move on and forget
everything! Last night was the last time I'm gonna see him so dapat ay masanay na ako.

I have to he distracted! Kaya mamamalagi muna ako sa cakeshop at maglilibang. Tapos siguro ay
tatanggap ako ng maraming modelling ramp? And pageants?

Today is Ejercito-free day!

Masaya ang ngiti ko sa pagiging positive ngayong araw pero habang tumatagal ako sa abangan ng
sasakyan at walang dumaraan ay naumpisa na akong mairita.

So, wala akong karapatan maging masaya?

Seryoso ang tingin ko sa daan nang may bumusina na nagpatalon sa akin, I shifted my gaze to a black car
and my heart ranaway from my body when I saw who it was.

Ejercito put his sunglasses from his eyes to his head and looked at up. The roof of his BMW E30 Cabriolet
is open.

"O-Oh, morning." Hilaw kong bati.

"Need a ride?" I saw him stare at me briefly and went out of the car.

Nagwala ang puso ko, he was wearing a simple white shirt, brown pants and boots yet my heart is
pounding wildly!

"Uh, hindi ano...okay lang!" I exclaimed. "Nag-aantay lang akong taxi kasi pupunta akong bakeshop."

He nodded, I saw him licked his lower lip and took a glance at me again.

"Ihahatid kita," Aniya.

My eyes widen kaya dali-dali akong umiling roon.

"No! Baka maiba ka pa ng daan!"

"Which way is it?" Tumingin s'ya sa paligid.

Itinuro ko ang kaliwang parte ng daan at sumulyap.

"Papunta dun," Sinundan n'ya iyon ng tingin at napatango sa akin.

"Doon ang daan ko," Parang wala lang na sabi n'ya.

Oh, shit! Damn, Leona! Think!

"Uh," I cleared my throat.

"Come on, ihahatid kita." Aniya nang hindi ako umimik.

"Hindi na," Iling ko.

"I insist, walang sasakyan ngayon dahil may aksidente sa may unahan. Madadaan ko rin naman doon
kaya--"

"No! Ayoko nga!" I exclaimed.

I saw him stopped.

Napasinghap ako nang matantong parang masama ang pagkakasabi ko roon.

I noticed pain on his eyes, kita kong napaiwas s'ya ng tingin at umigting ang panga pero tumango rin sa
akin.

"Sorry," He murmured. "Sige, mauuna na ako."

Kaagad akong kinain ng konsensya nang talikuran n'ya ako at padiretso na sa kanyang sasakyan.

Damn it, Leona! You're such a bitch!

"S-Sasabay na pala ako!" I exclaimed, stopping him.

Nang hindi s'ya lumingon ay nagmartsa ako patungo sa sasakyan n'ya at mabilis na binuksan at naupo sa
passenger seat.

He remained staring at me and blinked.

"Hindi naman kita pinipilit," He told me, confused. "Kung ayaw mo sumabay sa akin, ayos lang. I
understand that you never wanted to see me again--"

"Sakay na o ako ang magmamaneho nitong sasakyan mo?" I stopped him.

He didn't move and just stared at me like a lost puppy kaya napabuntong-hininga ako at napapikit.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to raise my voice like that."

He gulped, closed his eyes and nodded. Binuksan n'ya ang sasakyan at pumasok sa loob at nagkatinginan
kaming dalawa nang lumingon s'ya.
He moved closer at pati ang kaluluwa ko ay muntik na akong iwan roon.

"Seatbelt," He whispered.

My eyes widen, nagmamadaling inabot ang seatbelt pero sa sobrang panic ay hindi ko na maipasok ng
maayos sa lock.

"P-Paano ba 'to..." I whispered nervously.

I felt his hand on mine, halos maihagis ko na ang sarili ko palabas ng kotse roon!

"Let me," Aniya at inabot mula sa akin ang lock.

"O-Okay." I murmured. Nang ma-lock n'ya ang seatbelt at ayusin n'ya rin ang kanya ay napapaypay ako sa
sarili ko at napailing.

"Bakit parang ang init naman sa sasakyan mo?" Reklamo ko roon.

"It is?" Takang tanong n'ya habang minamanipula ang sasakyan.

"Yes, it's so hot." Paypay ko sa sarili ko.

"Hmm," He made a left turn and stared at me. "Sorry, Harriet, my fault."

My mouth parted, nang tumaas ang sulok ng labi n'ya sa joke n'ya ay hinampas ko ang balikat n'ya.
He laughed, napailing ako roon at natawa rin pero nang matanto ang ginagawa naming dalawa ay sabay
kaming tumikhim ay nag-iwas ng tingin.

Longest ten minute drive ever!

Wala kaming imik na dalawa habang nasa byahe pagkatapos ng awkward na pangyayaring iyon!

Damn it, Abelló! Damn it, Sandejas! Bakit ang komportable n'yo pa ring mag-asaran?!

I scolded myself silently until I saw our cakeshop.

"Yan! Yan na!" I said.

Jer nodded, ipinarada ang sasakyan sa gilid ng shop namin. Nang akmang lalabas s'ya at pagbubuksan
ata ako ay mabilis akong lumabas para unahan s'ya.

He didn't say anything, lumabas nalang s'ya sa sasakyan at pinagmasdan ako.

"Uh...thanks!" I said and smiled awkwardly.

He cocked his head and nodded.

"Anong oras uwi mo?" He asked.

Kumalabog ang lintek kong puso.

"H-Huh? Bakit?" I asked.

He just shrugged and didn't answered me.

"Uh...nine or ten, maybe?" I said. "Wala naman kasi akong gagawin kaya dito lang ako hanggang
mamaya."

"Hmm..." He said.

"Uh, ano, sige." Paalam ko at nang tumango s'ya ay nagmamadali na akong tumakbo sa loob ng
cakeshop.

Binati ako ng guard at crew pagpasok pero hindi ko pa sila nabigyan ng pansin dahil dumungaw ako sa
bintana para silipin si Ejercito na ngayon ay nakasakay na ulit sa sasakyan.

He started the car and I was confused when he maneuvered it and made a turn back to where we came
from!

Akala ko ba on the way ang cakeshop sa pupuntahan n'ya?

Tumulong ako sa crew sa pag-asikaso sa shop, it was a simple pastry shop. We offer drinks, cakes,
pastries, muffins, brownies and such.

Marami ring mga customer dahil lumalaki na rin ito at mas dumadami ang mga available sa menu.

Naging busy kami hanggang tanghali sa dami ng costumer and I was occupied that time sa sobrang busy.
Nang bandang ala-una na ay kumalma ang mga costumer kaya nagkaoras kaming tumambay muna sa
counter at magkwentuhan.

"Ngayon lang kayo napapunta rito, Ma'am Lena?" Ani ng cashier namin.

"Medyo na-busy kasi." I chuckled. "Pero ngayon, dito muna ako maglalagi kasi wala namang ginagawa sa
bahay."

"Mabuti, Ma'am, at naisipan n'yo kami bisitahin dito. Napanuod nga po namin ang pageant mo nitong
nakaraan. Ang galing ng sagot mo!" Papuri sa akin ni Ben, ang isa sa waiter namin kaya ngumisi ako.

"Tsamba lang," I chuckled. "Salamat,"

The bell from the entrance of the cakeshop made a sound, hindi ko iyon pinansin at nakipagkwentuhan
ulit.

"E, anong next n'yo, Ma'am?" Ani nito.

"Hmm, baka doon na ako lalaban sa ibang bansa." I said.

"Ang galing! Hanga kami sa'yo kasi ang ganda mo na tapos mabait pa--"

"I'd like to order..." Nagsitaasan ang balahibo ko nang marinig ang boses na 'yun at mabilis na napasulyap
sa counter at napakurap ako nang makita si Ejercito roon.

"Ano po, Sir?" Kita ko ang mangha sa mukha at saya sa boses ng cashier namin habang nakikipag-usap
roon.
Nagkatinginan kami, I saw how his blue eyes darkened, sumulyap sa tabi ko at umigting panga.

"I'd like it if she..." He suddenly pointed me. "Ask me for my order."

Napatayo ako, kita kong naguluhan ang cashier ko roon sa sinabi at gulo man ay nanginginig ang tuhod
na naglakad ako patungo sa cashier at sumulyap kay Ejercito at nakatitig lang.

"W-What's your order, Sir?" I asked, trying my best to calm down but I was hyperventilating.

I saw the other costumer's looking at him, natahimik rin ang staff ko ay doon ko napansing nakasuit na si
Ejercito at mukhang galing sa pormal na meeting.

Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko.

Damn, this is the Attorney Ejercito Sandejas!

"Anong masarap?" Ani Jer na sumusulyap sa pastries roon at wala ako sa sariling nagsalita.

"Ikaw," I said at natauhan lang nang marinig ko ang pagbagsak ng plato mula sa waiter pagkarinig ng
sinabi ko.

undefined

#Heartlessnostalgia #Sandejas
2020 © ABS-CBN Publishing,Inc. and ABS-CBN Corporation All Rights Reserved.

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Paper Planes

Image Description heartlessnostalgia | 14 November 2019

"I might wanna fly like a paper plane but in the end, I'd still choose falling for you..."

Kabanata 19

My mouth parted, nakita ko ang seryosong tingin n'ya at kahit nagwawala ang puso at nagdadalawang-
isip ay dinala ng puso ko ang kamay ko papunta sa kanya.
He gripped on my hand and slowly pulled me closer. Nang magdikit kaming dalawa ay marahang
ipinatong n'ya ang kamay ko sa kanyang balikat.

I felt his hand on my waist, halos mapaso ako sa dalang init ng kamay n'ya.

Nangilid ang luha ko kaya pasimple akong tumungo at marahang sinabayan s'ya sa paggalaw.

"Paano kapag wala kang nakitang gusto mong maging asawa pag matanda ka na?" Out of nowhere,
Ejercito asked while we're in the middle of the soccerfield.

"Anong klaseng tanong 'yan?" Natawa ako at ibinaba ang tingin sa kanya.

He was resting, ginagawang unan ang hita ko.

"Seryosong tanong, Harriet." He opened his eyes and stared at me.

I was quiet but deep inside, my heart is pounding with his smouldering blue eyes...I saw how the blue
skies reflected on it.

"Bakit? Para saan?" I asked and brushed his hair.

"Para sa research," He said and I rolled my eyes and flicked his forehead. He groaned, napahawak sa noo
n'ya at sinimangutan ako.

"Harriet!" He whinned.

"Lena nga kasi," I snorted. Sinuklay ko ang buhok n'ya gamit ang daliri ko at napailing.
"Alam mo, Sandejas, magsuklay ka ng maayos. Baka mamaya may garapata na 'to!"

Napangiwi s'ya sa sinabi ko at inabot ang pisngi ko at kinurot.

"Excuse me, hon, but my hair smells good!" Aniya at tinampal ko ang kamay n'ya.

"Stop calling me by your endearments, I'm not one of your girls." Reklamo ko.

"Who said you're like them?" His forehead creased.

"Wala," I murmured.

"Wala naman pala, you'll never be like them. You're an exemption for everything, Harriet."

"Paanong exemption?" I asked, confused.

"Basta, sagutin mo muna 'yung tanong ko." Aniya.

Napaisip naman ako roon, nang may inilapit sa bibig ko si Jer ay napatingin ako sa kanya.

"Open your mouth," Aniya. Tumalima ako at kinain ang chips na ibinigay n'ya at ngumuya habang nag-
iisip.

"Hmm, baka maghanap nalang ako ng kaya kong pakisamahan? O kaya ako nalang mag-isa. Kaya ko
naman siguro." I said and I noticed him staring at me.
"Kapag wala ka pang nagustuhan bago ka tumanda..." Panimula n'ya kaya napasulyap ako sa kanya.

"Anong gagawin mo?" I asked.

"Papakasalan kita," He said and winked at tinampal ko ang noo n'ya sa gulat.

Sa kabila ng marahang tunog at maraming tao ay mas nanginginabaw ang malakas na kabog ng puso ko. I
slowly rested my head on his chest and felt the loud thud in it.

I love you, Sandejas.

I whispered in my mind.

Whatever happens, kahit alam kong hindi ka para sa akin, ikaw pa rin ang may-ari ng puso ko. Even if we
weren't destined for each other, you will always be my home.

Sana maging masaya ka sa buhay na mayroon ka ngayon, you reached your dreams, hon. You have a
great life, you have a beautiful girlfriend.

Masaya ako. Sobra, dahil nakamit n'ya ang pangarap namin para sa kanya pero hindi mawala ang hapdi
sa puso kong hindi na ako ang nagmamay-ari ng puso n'ya.

Sumagi sa utak ko ang mga pangakong sinabi namin sa isa't-isa, ang mga pangakong hindi kami
maghihiwalay.

Ang pangakong pinakawalan ko na parang isang saranggola lang at hinayaang sumabay sa ihip ng hangin
palayo sa akin.
My hand started shaking in pain and regrets pero pinilit kong kumalma at mas kumapit sa kanyang
balikat.

I felt him stopped for awhile, hindi naman ako umimik at pinigilan ang paglandas ng luha sa mga mata ko
pero nang maramdaman ko ang pag-abot ng kamay n'ya sa kamay ko ay nawala na ako sa sarili.

He reached for my hand, bahagyang lumayo ako at napasulyap sa kanya at nakita ko kung paano bumaba
ang tingin n'ya sa nanginginig kong kamay.

"You're shaking," He whispered.

Sa takot ko ay inagaw ko ang kamay ko mula sa kanya at bahagyang napaatras.

"P-Pasensya na, medyo napagod lang ako." I lied and looked away.

I heard him sighed, nagulat ako nang hawakan n'ya ang baywang ko at marahang inalalayan palayo sa
mga tao.

"I...I can walk alone." I said, panicking and looked at him.

"No," He said, I saw his forehead creased, his jaw clenched a bit and walked with me.

Nang makalabas kami sa mga tao sa gitna at makabalik sa upuan ko ay naghaharumentado ang puso ko.

I saw a waiter near me holding a tray of wine kaya inabot ko iyon pero hindi ko na nagawang inumin
nang maramdaman ang kamay ni Ejercito sa wine glass na hawak ko.
Nagkatinginan kami, I saw how his jaw clenched again and spoke.

"That's bad for you," He said.

Napalunok ako at kumuyom ang kamay.

"Kaya ko," I said. "Tsaka ngayon lang ako iinom."

"You've been drinking a few glasses of this since earlier," Pansin n'ya kaya natigilan ako roon at nanlaki
ang mata.

"This is gonna be your third glass so I won't let you." He said at wala na akong nagawa at mabilis na
binitawan ang wine glass.

I saw relief on his eyes when I let go of the glass, nang umupo ako ay nakita kong inabot n'ya ang tubig
mula sa panibagong waiter na dumaan at iniabot sa akin.

"Here, drink this." He said.

"T-Thanks," Tinanggap ko ang tubig at uminom, nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya at nakita kong kunot
ang noo n'ya habang pinagmamasdan lang ako.

"Are you even eating right?" He asked and I almost choked.

I saw him panicked a bit and took the glass from me before sitting.
"You okay?" He asked.

Napaubo ako at tumango bago s'ya binigyan ng alanganing ngiti.

"O-Oo, salamat."

He nodded, tumingin sa paligid at pasimple ko s'yang tinitigan at napansin lahat ng bago sa kanya.

He still looks a lot like my Sandejas years ago, smouldering blue eyes, aristocrat nose, thin red lips and
sharp jaw but it just got a lot more sharper and matured.

His stance is manly before but now, he holds that kind of authority that my kness could even start
wobbling.

He has a clean cut hair and the suit he is wearing fitted his body just as those models from photoshoots
I've been...just that he looks better, well, great actually.

I bit my lip, napahawak ako sa dibdib ko at sumulyap kay Ejercito na nahuli kong nakatingin sa akin, nang
makita ako ay tumikhim s'ya at nag-iwas.

I wanted to touch him, badly.

Pero hindi naman ako pwede sa kanya.

"I've been looking for you, Jer! Nandyan ka pala!" Nawala ang pansin ko kay Ejercito nang makita si Emily
na lumapit sa amin.
I saw how her eyes narrowed at me, her forehead creased. Kita ko ang pagtalim ng mata nito pero
kaagad na ngumiti nang bumaling rito si Jer.

"What?" Jer asked.

"Hinahanap kita kanina pa, bigla ka nalang nawawala." Ani nito.

I felt my heart constricted at that, tumayo si Jer nang napatayo ako sa upuan ko.

"Oh, si Lena pala 'to!" Emily looked shock when she saw me, napatakip pa s'ya sa bibig n'ya at
napasinghap.

"Emily," I called and nodded.

"Ikaw pala 'yan," She chuckled, nakita ko ang pagkapit n'ya sa braso ni Ejercito kaya napalunok ako.

I lifted my head to see his reaction when a grip on my waist stopped me, napalingon ako sa tabi ko at
nakita si Floyd na nakangiti sa akin.

"You okay, sweetheart?" I almost jumped when Floyd kissed my cheek, narinig ko ang igik ni Cecille na
nakita iyon habang papalapit.

Damn you, Floyd! Shit.

Gulat akong napatingin kay Ejercito. His eyes are now almost black and cold, kita ko ang pagtikom ng
bibig n'ya at ang pagtanggal ng kamay ni Emily sa braso n'ya.
"I have to go, Emily. I have a client to meet tonight, I texted your driver to fetch you." He said.

I saw how Emily's mouth parted.

"Hindi mo ako ihahatid?" She asked, annoyed.

"You want to come here so I let you, I have a meeting to attend so I can't do it." Ani nito.

Emily sighed then nodded.

"Okay, babawi ka sa akin!" Emily demanded and I saw Jer just stared at her and nodded.

I smiled bitterly.

Hindi mo pa rin s'ya matiis, Jer. Mahal na mahal mo siguro.

"I-uuwi na kita, are you tired?" Biglang tanong ni Floyd kaya napasulyap ako sa kanya at ngumiti.

"Yes, thank you, Floyd. Papaalam lang muna ako." I said.

He nodded and smiled, nakita kong nakangisi roon si Cecille sa isang gilid at nang sumulyap ako kay
Ejercito ay malamig lang itong nakatingin sa akin.

My heart jumped rapidly, tumikhim ako at pilit na ngumiti kay Ejercito.

"Nice...seeing you again, Jer." I smiled while saying that. "Bye,"

He nodded, his jaw clenched a bit and his eyes darken, kita ko ang pagtapon n'ya ng tingin kay Floyd
bago tumingin sa akin.

"Goodbye, Miss Abellò." He said coldly.

My heart felt like it was torn into pieces, I saw how Emily smirked when Jer walked away, hinabol pa n'ya
ito at pilit na kumapit sa braso.

"That fucktard!" Floyd hissed beside me but I manage to laugh and stare at him.

"I wish I called him Mr. Sandejas." I joked but he just sighed at me and flicked my forehead.

"Alam mo, sa susunod na pageant mo anong award mo? Best liar of the year." Floyd commented.

"Oh, Leona, ito na ang korona!" Biglang entrada ni Cecille at may ipinatong kuno sa ulo ko kaya natawa
nalang ako at hindi pinansin ang sinabi nila.

I woke up the next day feeling tired, hindi pa sana ako tatayo kung hindi pa ako bulabugin ni Mommy.

"Waking up like this isn't healthy, Leona!" My Mom said when I opened my eyes.

I yawned, marahang umupo sa kama at sumulyap sa kanya na ngayon ay nakatingin sa akin.

"Sorry, Mamá." I murmured.

"Okay, take a bath, breakfast is ready." Aniya at tumango ako bago ngumiti.
I sighed when she left.

Paanong hindi ako magigising ng maaga kung halos wala naman akong tulog? I reached home near
midnight and slept when it's almost three in the morning.

I just coudn't sleep...

I sighed, naglakad ako patungo sa banyo at naligo. Bumaba ako sa kusina pagkatapos at kaagad na
naabutan ang parents kong kumakain na roon.

Nakaupo sa kabisera si Papá, habang si Mamá ay sumisimsim ng tea.

"Lena, sit." She pointed my seat.

I nodded, nagtungo ako roon pagkatapos humalik sa kanila at kumuha ng pagkain.

"Ma, can I go to our cakeshop today?" I asked and I saw her forehead creased at that.

"Don't eat too much sweets, Lena. May photoshoot ka next week." Sita n'ya sa akin.

"Just let your daughter eat whatever she likes," Biglang sabat ni Dad na ibinaba ang newspaper. My smile
widened at that, nakita kong napailing si Mamá at napahinga.

"Okay...you can, just for today." Aniya. "Tsaka, okay, I'll allow you to look after our shop for now habang
wala ka pang ginagawa."
"Thank you, Mom!" I smiled widely.

"But hija, walang sasakyang makakapaghatid sa'yo." Ani Dad. "Pinapalitan pa ang gulong at baka
mamayang hapon pa."

"I can commute," I said.

"Sigurado ka?" Ani Mamá at tinaasan ako ng kilay.

"Yes, kaya ko naman." I chuckled.

"Natatakot ako at makilala ka r'yan sa daan!"

"Hindi naman ako sikat," Tawa ko pa.

"Anong hindi?" She raised her brow. "The magazines, billboards and television has faces of you all over!
Impossibleng hindi ka makilala."

"I doubt naman na may gagawin sila." I said.

She just looked at me then sighed, shaking her head.

"Sige, mag-ingat ka."

I was smiling when I got to go out of the house. This is my goal for today, to move on and forget
everything! Last night was the last time I'm gonna see him so dapat ay masanay na ako.
I have to he distracted! Kaya mamamalagi muna ako sa cakeshop at maglilibang. Tapos siguro ay
tatanggap ako ng maraming modelling ramp? And pageants?

Today is Ejercito-free day!

Masaya ang ngiti ko sa pagiging positive ngayong araw pero habang tumatagal ako sa abangan ng
sasakyan at walang dumaraan ay naumpisa na akong mairita.

So, wala akong karapatan maging masaya?

Seryoso ang tingin ko sa daan nang may bumusina na nagpatalon sa akin, I shifted my gaze to a black car
and my heart ranaway from my body when I saw who it was.

Ejercito put his sunglasses from his eyes to his head and looked at up. The roof of his BMW E30 Cabriolet
is open.

"O-Oh, morning." Hilaw kong bati.

"Need a ride?" I saw him stare at me briefly and went out of the car.

Nagwala ang puso ko, he was wearing a simple white shirt, brown pants and boots yet my heart is
pounding wildly!

"Uh, hindi ano...okay lang!" I exclaimed. "Nag-aantay lang akong taxi kasi pupunta akong bakeshop."

He nodded, I saw him licked his lower lip and took a glance at me again.
"Ihahatid kita," Aniya.

My eyes widen kaya dali-dali akong umiling roon.

"No! Baka maiba ka pa ng daan!"

"Which way is it?" Tumingin s'ya sa paligid.

Itinuro ko ang kaliwang parte ng daan at sumulyap.

"Papunta dun," Sinundan n'ya iyon ng tingin at napatango sa akin.

"Doon ang daan ko," Parang wala lang na sabi n'ya.

Oh, shit! Damn, Leona! Think!

"Uh," I cleared my throat.

"Come on, ihahatid kita." Aniya nang hindi ako umimik.

"Hindi na," Iling ko.

"I insist, walang sasakyan ngayon dahil may aksidente sa may unahan. Madadaan ko rin naman doon
kaya--"

"No! Ayoko nga!" I exclaimed.

I saw him stopped.

Napasinghap ako nang matantong parang masama ang pagkakasabi ko roon.

I noticed pain on his eyes, kita kong napaiwas s'ya ng tingin at umigting ang panga pero tumango rin sa
akin.

"Sorry," He murmured. "Sige, mauuna na ako."

Kaagad akong kinain ng konsensya nang talikuran n'ya ako at padiretso na sa kanyang sasakyan.

Damn it, Leona! You're such a bitch!

"S-Sasabay na pala ako!" I exclaimed, stopping him.

Nang hindi s'ya lumingon ay nagmartsa ako patungo sa sasakyan n'ya at mabilis na binuksan at naupo sa
passenger seat.

He remained staring at me and blinked.

"Hindi naman kita pinipilit," He told me, confused. "Kung ayaw mo sumabay sa akin, ayos lang. I
understand that you never wanted to see me again--"

"Sakay na o ako ang magmamaneho nitong sasakyan mo?" I stopped him.

He didn't move and just stared at me like a lost puppy kaya napabuntong-hininga ako at napapikit.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to raise my voice like that."

He gulped, closed his eyes and nodded. Binuksan n'ya ang sasakyan at pumasok sa loob at nagkatinginan
kaming dalawa nang lumingon s'ya.

He moved closer at pati ang kaluluwa ko ay muntik na akong iwan roon.

"Seatbelt," He whispered.

My eyes widen, nagmamadaling inabot ang seatbelt pero sa sobrang panic ay hindi ko na maipasok ng
maayos sa lock.

"P-Paano ba 'to..." I whispered nervously.

I felt his hand on mine, halos maihagis ko na ang sarili ko palabas ng kotse roon!

"Let me," Aniya at inabot mula sa akin ang lock.

"O-Okay." I murmured. Nang ma-lock n'ya ang seatbelt at ayusin n'ya rin ang kanya ay napapaypay ako sa
sarili ko at napailing.

"Bakit parang ang init naman sa sasakyan mo?" Reklamo ko roon.

"It is?" Takang tanong n'ya habang minamanipula ang sasakyan.

"Yes, it's so hot." Paypay ko sa sarili ko.

"Hmm," He made a left turn and stared at me. "Sorry, Harriet, my fault."

My mouth parted, nang tumaas ang sulok ng labi n'ya sa joke n'ya ay hinampas ko ang balikat n'ya.

He laughed, napailing ako roon at natawa rin pero nang matanto ang ginagawa naming dalawa ay sabay
kaming tumikhim ay nag-iwas ng tingin.

Longest ten minute drive ever!

Wala kaming imik na dalawa habang nasa byahe pagkatapos ng awkward na pangyayaring iyon!

Damn it, Abelló! Damn it, Sandejas! Bakit ang komportable n'yo pa ring mag-asaran?!

I scolded myself silently until I saw our cakeshop.

"Yan! Yan na!" I said.

Jer nodded, ipinarada ang sasakyan sa gilid ng shop namin. Nang akmang lalabas s'ya at pagbubuksan
ata ako ay mabilis akong lumabas para unahan s'ya.

He didn't say anything, lumabas nalang s'ya sa sasakyan at pinagmasdan ako.

"Uh...thanks!" I said and smiled awkwardly.

He cocked his head and nodded.

"Anong oras uwi mo?" He asked.

Kumalabog ang lintek kong puso.

"H-Huh? Bakit?" I asked.

He just shrugged and didn't answered me.

"Uh...nine or ten, maybe?" I said. "Wala naman kasi akong gagawin kaya dito lang ako hanggang
mamaya."

"Hmm..." He said.

"Uh, ano, sige." Paalam ko at nang tumango s'ya ay nagmamadali na akong tumakbo sa loob ng
cakeshop.

Binati ako ng guard at crew pagpasok pero hindi ko pa sila nabigyan ng pansin dahil dumungaw ako sa
bintana para silipin si Ejercito na ngayon ay nakasakay na ulit sa sasakyan.

He started the car and I was confused when he maneuvered it and made a turn back to where we came
from!

Akala ko ba on the way ang cakeshop sa pupuntahan n'ya?

Tumulong ako sa crew sa pag-asikaso sa shop, it was a simple pastry shop. We offer drinks, cakes,
pastries, muffins, brownies and such.
Marami ring mga customer dahil lumalaki na rin ito at mas dumadami ang mga available sa menu.

Naging busy kami hanggang tanghali sa dami ng costumer and I was occupied that time sa sobrang busy.

Nang bandang ala-una na ay kumalma ang mga costumer kaya nagkaoras kaming tumambay muna sa
counter at magkwentuhan.

"Ngayon lang kayo napapunta rito, Ma'am Lena?" Ani ng cashier namin.

"Medyo na-busy kasi." I chuckled. "Pero ngayon, dito muna ako maglalagi kasi wala namang ginagawa sa
bahay."

"Mabuti, Ma'am, at naisipan n'yo kami bisitahin dito. Napanuod nga po namin ang pageant mo nitong
nakaraan. Ang galing ng sagot mo!" Papuri sa akin ni Ben, ang isa sa waiter namin kaya ngumisi ako.

"Tsamba lang," I chuckled. "Salamat,"

The bell from the entrance of the cakeshop made a sound, hindi ko iyon pinansin at nakipagkwentuhan
ulit.

"E, anong next n'yo, Ma'am?" Ani nito.

"Hmm, baka doon na ako lalaban sa ibang bansa." I said.

"Ang galing! Hanga kami sa'yo kasi ang ganda mo na tapos mabait pa--"
"I'd like to order..." Nagsitaasan ang balahibo ko nang marinig ang boses na 'yun at mabilis na napasulyap
sa counter at napakurap ako nang makita si Ejercito roon.

"Ano po, Sir?" Kita ko ang mangha sa mukha at saya sa boses ng cashier namin habang nakikipag-usap
roon.

Nagkatinginan kami, I saw how his blue eyes darkened, sumulyap sa tabi ko at umigting panga.

"I'd like it if she..." He suddenly pointed me. "Ask me for my order."

Napatayo ako, kita kong naguluhan ang cashier ko roon sa sinabi at gulo man ay nanginginig ang tuhod
na naglakad ako patungo sa cashier at sumulyap kay Ejercito at nakatitig lang.

"W-What's your order, Sir?" I asked, trying my best to calm down but I was hyperventilating.

I saw the other costumer's looking at him, natahimik rin ang staff ko ay doon ko napansing nakasuit na si
Ejercito at mukhang galing sa pormal na meeting.

Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko.

Damn, this is the Attorney Ejercito Sandejas!

"Anong masarap?" Ani Jer na sumusulyap sa pastries roon at wala ako sa sariling nagsalita.

"Ikaw," I said at natauhan lang nang marinig ko ang pagbagsak ng plato mula sa waiter pagkarinig ng
sinabi ko.
#Heartlessnostalgia #Sandejas

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Paper Planes

Image Description heartlessnostalgia | 18 November 2019

"I might wanna fly like a paper plane but in the end, I'd still choose falling for you..."

Kabanata 20

"Ma'am?" I heard my cashier asked.

My eyes widen and I saw my waiter panicking to clean the broken plate.

I saw Ejercito giving me that look, seryoso pero nakanguso at nagpipigil ng ngiti. Kita ko rin ang
pamumula ng tenga n'ya kaya tumikhim ako at nagbaba ng tingin sa mga pastries.

"Ikaw..." I motioned him. "What do you usually like? Cakes, brownies or m-muffins?" Pumiyok pa ako
pero sinubukan kong maging seryoso.

Hindi s'ya umimik, I saw how he licked his lower lip with the hidden smirk he has.

Damn it, Sandejas!

"S-Sir?" I called. "What do you like?"

"Ikaw," He said.
My heart thumped rapidly, nanlaki ang mata ko at nakita ko kung paano tumaas ang sulok ng labi n'ya at
napapangiti na.

"Ikaw, anong masarap para sa'yo?" Bawi n'ya, halatang nang-aasar.

"K-Kahit ano," I murmured, my cheeks flushing like a tomato. "B-But I prefer muffins."

"Hmm," He hummed, a devious smile on his lips. "I'll take that."

"Noted," Tumikhim ako.

Umalis ka na rito, Sandejas! I am trying my best not to get affected! Nakamove-on ka na kaya dapat ay
ako rin!

"Take out 'no?" I said.

"Dine in," I froze and lifted my head, I saw him leaning on the counter now, tila pinagmamasdan ang
ginagawa ko.

"D-Diba may trabaho ka? Dapat take out." I said but he shrugged and look around.

"I like the ambiance here, nice place." He nodded. "Dito ako magtatrabaho."

"Huh?!" I exclaimed.

"Ma'am, ayos ka lang?" Nagpapanic na tanong ng cashier kaya tumango ako at kumurap.
"Y-Yes, yes."

"Why?" Jer asked. "Masama bang magtrabaho dito?"

"Hindi naman..." I cleared my throat. "I just...you know, you're a busy person, baka hindi makatulong na
nasa ganito ka nagtatrabaho. Kasi maingay."

"It's pretty quiet," He said.

"Maingay na dito mamaya," I said. "Kaya dapat sa opisina ka nalang."

"Dine in," He finalized. "Add a cup of black coffee, Harriet. No sugar."

Tumango nalang ako at halos sumabog na ang puso ko roon sa kaba habang kausap s'ya.

Hinayaan ko na ang cashier ang mag-asikaso ng bayad n'ya, I excused myself to go inside to calm myself.

Damn it! Damn! Hindi pa rin nagbabago ang epekto ng Sandejas na 'yan! Hindi kaya ginayuma ako n'yan
dati?

Sinampal ko ang sarili ko at umiling, napahawak ako sa kwintas ko at itinago sa ilalim ng dress ko at
huminga ng malalim.

"He's just here as a costumer." I told myself. "So, treat him like one, okay, self?"

Nang makalabas ako ay may ngiti na ako ulit at kalmado.

"Uy, Ma'am, sino 'yun? Boyfriend mo?" Halos mabilaukan ako roon kaya umiling ako kaagad.

"N-No..." I murmured.

"Ex?" Ani ng waiter ko at napaubo ako at muling umiling.

"K-Kaibigan lang," I said.

"Baka gusto ka, Ma'am?" Napasulyap ako kay Marciel, ang cashier ko.

"H-Huh?" Kumalabog ang puso ko roon.

"Wala lang, nung umalis ka nagtatanong kung lagi ka raw ba dito tapos sabi ko hindi."

Napalunok ako at napasulyap kay Ejercito na may binabasa ng papel roon sa may pwesto n'ya malapit sa
balkonahe.

"U-Uh, he's my friend." I just said.

"Sabi ko nga, Ma'am sa kanya na 'Ang ganda ni Ma'am 'no?' tapos alam mo anong sabi?" Mabilis akong
napasulyap sa kanya.

"What?"

"Ngumiti sa akin tapos tumango! Sabi n'ya, 'Yes, nothing can beat that.'" Ginaya pa n'ya ang boses ni Jer
kaya nakagat ko ang labi ko.
"R-Really?"

"Opo," She nodded and teased me.

"Crush mo ba, Ma'am? Ang gwapo-gwapo 'no? Maraming mga customer tayong gwapo pero iba 'to."
Komento n'ya. "Ang lakas ng dating, wala naman s'yang gagawin, ngingiti lang ng tipid pero grabe! Kahit
hindi ata magsalita 'yan ang gwapo pa rin!" She giggled.

"Akin 'yan," I snorted.

Natigil s'ya at napasulyap sa akin, gulat at nang matanto ang komento ko ay tumikhim ako.

"Akin na 'yang... ginagawa mo, ako na muna magtutuloy." Palusot ko at maguguluhan man sa akin ay
ibinigay n'ya ang isinusulat na kaagad kong kinuha.

Leona Harriet! What the heck are you thinking?!

I saw him seriously reading the papers he has, sa gilid ng mga papel ay ang kape at ang muffin na in-
order n'ya.

You seriously...gonna work here?

Oh, baka crush n'ya ang cashier ko?

Sinulyapan ko si Marciel na nakasulyap kay Jer at nanliit ang mata.

No! Tinampal ko ang sarili ko.

Eh, ano ngayon? Wala ka na dapat pakialam, Lena. Mag-mo-move-on ka, diba?

I saw the door opened, mula doon ay may isang lalaking pumasok, naka-suit rin ito. Nakita kong
nagtungo ito papunta kay Jer at napanguso ako nang matantong kliyente n'ya siguro.

Wow...I'm so proud of you, hon.

So...so proud. You did a great job.

I bit my lip, staring at the man he's been talking to at nang mapansin kong parang gusto nilang um-order
ay napatitig ako.

I smiled happily, ang bigat sa puso ko ay medyo naibsan habang pinagmamasdan ang mahal ko.

You're successful, I am so happy.

Tumingin ako sa paligid at napansing busy lahat ang crew, kita kong gustong mag-order ng kausap ni Jer
kaya nang walang pwedeng mag-asikaso ay ako na ang lumapit roon.

I walked towards them, holding a small notebook and smiled.

"Good afternoon, what do you like to order, Sir?" I asked the man.

I saw Ejercito lifted his gaze at me, kunot na ang noo at nakatitig sa akin.

"Uhm," I saw the man he's been talking to smiled at me. "Wow, you're Leona Abelló, right?"
Nagulat ako roon pero marahang tumango.

"Yes, Sir." I said softly.

"You work here?" He said, amazed.

"Uh, not really. We own this place, nandito lang ako para tumulong." I smiled.

"Wow!" His smile widened, tumayo s'ya kaya nagitla ako ng bahagya nang ilahad n'ya ang kamay.

"I am Fredo, I work in a pharmaceuticl company nearby, I just went here to talk to Atty. Sandejas para sa
mga permit sa negosyo." Aniya.

Napakurap ako at akmang tatanggapin ang kamay n'ya ay malakas na tikhim ang nagpatigil sa akin.

"Mr. Domiguez, I assume Miss Abelló, has a lot of work to do." Ani Ejercito na malamig na ang tingin sa
amin.

"Ganun ba?" Ani Fredo. "Sorry, Jer. Natuwa kasi ako, you know she's been my crush for a long time--"

"I have a lot of work to do too, let's proceed." Ani Ejercito na umigting ang panga.

My heart raced, nang magkatinginan kami ni Jer ay mabilis s'yang tumayo sa kanyang upuan. He towered
me, kahit anong tangkad ko ay mas matangkad pa rin sa akin ang Sandejas na ito kaya wala kong
panama.
"You're busy, right?" He asked me seriously at wala sa sariling napatango ako roon.

I saw relief on his eyes when I said that.

"What's your order, Fred? Ako na ang mag-oorder." Ani Jer at nagtataka man ay sinabi ni Fredo ang gusto
n'ya.

I was just standing there when Jer took the small notebook I had and scribbled his client's order in it.

"Here," Inabot sa akin ni Jer ang notebook at gulantang man ay kinuha ko iyon mula sa kanya.

"Thanks," I said.

Naglakad ako medyo palayo pero sumunod s'ya at tinabihan ako.

"Ihahatid kita sa counter," Aniya kaya nanlaki ang mata ko sa kanya.

"What? Andyan lang ang counter." Turo ko sa pwesto nito at nakita ko lang ang pagsimangot ni Ejercito
sa akin.

"I know,"

"Oo nga, kaya h'wag mo na ako ihatid." Gulong sabi ko.

"I will get his orders from you," Aniya.

"Ako na, kaya ko namang ihatid sa pwesto n'yo." I said.

"Stop being stubborn, Leona Harriet." He snorted. "Ihahatid kita, I'm gonna get his order so you don't
need to walk back and forth."

"Ayos lang," I insisted. "Kaya nga ako nandito para tumulong."

"He likes you," He said, stopping me. "If you come back here, he'll talk to you."

Parang may humalukay sa sikmura ko at napatitig sa mata n'ya.

"S-So?" I murmured.

Nagseselos ka?

"Babagal ang trabaho ko," Aniya at nag-iwas ng tingin.

I slowly nodded and pouted.

Okay, 'yun lang pala...I assumed he's jealous.

Pero para saan, Lena? You broke his heart, remember?

Hinayaan ko nalang s'ya, habang inaayos ko ang order ni Fred ay nakatayo lang s'ya sa may counter at
nag-aantay.
I sighed, naglakad patungo sa kanya at inabot ang order ng kliyente n'ya.

"I'd like to order again," He said kaya nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya.

"What?" I asked.

"A cup of coffee," He said and my brow raised at him.

"You just finished your coffee, magkakape ka ulit?" I asked him.

"It's alright," He said.

"Magpapalpitate ka, Sandejas." I warned him. "Sure ka?"

"Yes," His lip twitched then stared at the pastries. "Hmm, after the muffins, what do you like here?"

"Blueberry cheese cake," I said and pointed the cake. "Masarap 'to."

"Yun nalang," Aniya at tumango ako at sinulat ang gusto n'ya.

"Meron pa?" Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya at nakita kong nakatitig s'ya sa akin.

Kumalma ka, Abelló!

"Kumain ka na?" He asked me softly and my heart skipped a beat.

"Hmm," I nodded and bit my lip. "I'm done."

"Alright," He glance at me and nodded. "Don't starve yourself too much, your health is much more
important than your pageants."

Nang talikuran na n'ya ako ay napapikit ako at napahugot ng hininga. Nagtungo ang kamay ko sa kwintas
ko at kinalma ang sarili.

Bakit ba mahal na mahal pa rin kita?

I was pre-occupied the whole day, nairita pa ako kay Sandejas dahil pagkaalis ng kliyente n'ya ay hindi pa
rin umuwi at nag-order pa ng kape!

Habang nasa kusina ako ay tinawag ako ni Marciel kaya napasulyap ako sa kanya.

"Ma'am, may naghahanap po sa inyo." Aniya.

"Sino raw?" I asked.

"Lalaki po, Ma'am, hindi ko kilala." I nodded, confused.

Nang makalabas ako ng kusina ay nagtungo ako sa counter at natigilan nang makakita ng isang lalaking
pamilyar.

My forehead creased, he looked at me and my mouth parted when I realized who it was.
"Augustin?" I exclaimed.

"Hi, Lena." He smiled.

Napangiti ako, mabilis akong lumabas sa counter at natawa rin ng bahagya nang yakapin n'ya ako ng
marahan.

Augustin is the son of my Mom's amiga, Rosel. Pumunta na s'ya sa bahay namin noong college pa ako
para bumisita, that's when I first met him.

We just got close when last year, sumama sila 'nung nag-family outing kami.

"I just came home from States, sina Mom ay nasa mansion n'yo at 'nung sinabi ni Auntie na nandito ka,
bumisita na ako." He smiled.

"Ikaw talaga," Natawa ako at napailing.

"Tara upo tayo, Attorney." I teased him and he chuckled at me and nodded.

"Let's go," He said and assisted me, inalalayan n'ya ang braso ko palapit sa isang upuan malapit sa
counter at wala sa sariling napasulyap ako kay Ejercito.

He was just looking at us blankly while sipping on his coffee. I saw how dark his eyes is, parang may
madilim ba aura sa paligid pero nag-iwas lang ako ng tingin at binalingan ang kaibigan.

"Anong gusto mong order?" I asked him when the waiter came to us.
"Coffee lang and chocolate cake," He said.

"Francis, avocado shake and muffins sa akin." I told my waiter and smiled.

"Noted, Ma'am." He smiled and left, nagkatinginan naman kami ni August at napangiti ako.

"Hindi ka sumama kina Auntie pumunta sa mansyon 'nung nakaraan." I said.

"I got busy with work, may pinatayong law firm si Dad sa States kaya kailangan ko munang mag-asikaso."
He said.

"Masyado mo kasing ginalingan, may girlfriend ka na ba?" I asked but he just chuckled at me.

"I told you, Lena, gusto nga kitang ligawan." Aniya at natawa lang ako at umiling sa kanya.

"And I told you a couple of times that it's a no." I told him.

He pouted and stared at me.

"Mas gumaganda ka ata, anong sikreto mo?" Aniya at ngumisi.

"Tulog lang," Tawa ko pero kaagad iyong nawala nang mula sa pwesto ko ay nakita ko ang pagtayo ni
Ejercito mula sa pwesto n'ya.

Pasimple ko s'yang sinulyapan at nakitang inaayos n'ya ang papel na hawak.

"Ma'am, ito na po." Inilapag ang order sa harapan namin at nagsasalita si Augustin pero ang pansin ko ay
na kay Jer na nakasukbit na ang coat sa balikat.

Wala na rin ang kurbatang suot n'ya kanina at bukas na ang tatlong butones ng puting long sleeve n'ya.

"Sir, kailangan mo tulong?" Narinig kong tanong ng waiter kay Jer nang mapansin n'ya ito.

"I'll just change my seat, medyo mainit na sa pwesto ko. I'd like to take the seat near the counter." He
said stiffly and damn I could clearly hear his hard voice!

"Sige, Sir." Napasulyap ako sa upuan sa may tabi ng upuan namin ni August at napainom ng shake,
kinakabahan.

"Lena, are you listening?" August asked.

"Y-Yeah," I looked at him.

Sa peripheral vision ko ay kita ko ang paglipat n'ya ng pwesto katabi sa inuupuan namin at para pumilipit
na ang paa ko sa sobrang kaba at harumentado.

"May order po ba kayo ulit, Sir?" I heard the waiter asked him.

"Just another cup of coffee will do," He said and nangunot na ang noo ko.

That's his fourth one!

"I have a convention next month to Japan, I got a free pass for a plus one, you wanna come?" Agaw sa
akin ng pansin ni August kaya ngumiti ako.

"I'd like to," I said. "Pero che-check ko muna ang schedule ko, baka kasi may gawin. Papaalam rin ako
muna kina Mamá."

"Okay, sana sumama ka." He chuckled and I smiled at him.

Nagkwentuhan pa kaming dalawa ni August pero hindi ako makapag-concentrate dahil ang pansin ko ay
na kay Ejercito.

He was sipping on his coffee again, sa halip na magbasa ng trabaho n'ya ay nakita kong nakatitig lang s'ya
roon, mukhang wala sa sarili at nilalaro lang ang ballpen.

I took a glance at him and saw how blank his expression is, tamad lang s'yang nakasandal roon.

Nang magpaalam paalis si August at medyo dumami ang tao sa shop ay muli akong naging abala, I saw
Ejercito seriously looking at the papers he has but it looks like he isn't reading it.

May galit ba s'ya sa papel? Kung pwede lang siguro butasin ang papel ay paniguradong gagawin n'ya sa
itsura n'ya ngayon.

Baka nagpapalpitate na?

Sandejas naman!

Nag-umpisa na akong mag-alala, nang nawawalan na ng tao sa cakeshop at nagsialisan na ang mga
empleyado pagkatapos kong magpresintang ako na ang magsasara ay napabaling ako kay Ejercito.
He's now sleeping on his seat! Nakaub-ob sa lamesa!

Such a baby...

Nang mawala na ang mga empleyado ko ay marahang lumapit ako kay Ejercito na natutulog sa kanyang
upuan.

I sighed, tahimik na hinila ang upuan palapit sa pwesto n'ya at naupo sa tabi n'ya.

"Jer?" I called.

I saw him stirred a bit but didn't moved, he looks tired and a bit sad.

"How are you?" I whispered. Nang hindi s'ya gumalaw ay marahang iniangat ko ang kamay ko.

I hesitated at first but with the courage I have, I slowly put my hand on his head and stroke his hair softly.

My heart swelled when I was able to touched him like this again.

Parang sasabog ang puso ko sa saya at sakit na nararamdaman, nangilid ang luha ko kaya marahang
umusog ako sa upuan at umub-ob rin sa lamesa kagaya n'ya.

I shifted my head so I can see his face while he's sleeping.

I love you, Ejercito... Still.

I lifted my hand again, tried to touch his cheek when he suddenly opened his eyes.

I froze on the spot, nagmamadali kong ibinaba ang kamay ko at mabilis na naupo ng maayos at
tumikhim.

"M-Magsasara na ang shop kaya kailangan mo ng umuwi," I said stiffly.

He didn't move, I saw him stayed on his place, nakaub-ob pa rin sa lamesa pero ang kaninang nakapikit
na mata ay pagod na nakatingin sa akin ngayon.

"I'm palpitating," His husky voice said and I sighed and shook my head.

"I told you to stop drinking coffee that much," I said. "Paano kung ma-ospital ka?" Kunot na noong sabi
ko.

"Why? Nag-aalala ka?" He murmured, marahang umayos ng upo at namumungay pa ang mga matang
nakatitig sa akin.

"Of course!" I snorted.

"Hmm, really?" A sly smile left his lips as he sighed and placed his hand on his chest. "Fuck, my heart
beats so damn fast."

"Sa kape mo 'yan!" I gritted my teeth.

"I hope it's just because of coffee," He chuckled non-chalantly.

He clicked his neck and lip his lip, muli s'yang huminga ng malalim at kinalma ang sarili.

"Damn it," He puffed a breath.

"Ikaw kasi," I said and placed my hand on his chest and his heart is beating so damn fast like he said!

Hindi s'ya umimik kaya nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya habang pinapakiramdaman ang puso n'ya, nag-
aalala.

"Masakit ba?" I asked. "Maybe we can go to the hospital."

"It's alright," He shook his head and stared deeply at me.

"Mas masakit pa rin 'nung iniwan mo ko," Aniya.

I stilled, umawang ang labi ko at napatitig sa kanya at nakita ko ang pait ng ngiti n'ya.

Hindi ako nakapagsalita at nakita ko ang pag-iwas n'ya ng tingin at marahang ibinaba ang kamay ko mula
sa kanyang dibdib.

"Jer," I whispered.

"I was just kidding, Lena." He gave me a sad smile. "Let's go, ihahatid na kita."
#Heartlessnostalgia #Sandejas

(1 reader review/s)

Comments

Image Description

Amor Millare

56 days ago

Perfect 10.. ilove dadeh jer..

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Paper Planes

Image Description heartlessnostalgia | 21 November 2019

"I might wanna fly like a paper plane but in the end, I'd still choose falling for you..."

Kabanata 21

"I'm sorry, hija, do you really think you can go there alone?" My Mom asked while fixing my hair in the
mirror.

"Yes, Mamá." I answered. "I can do it, and I'm a grown up. Kaya ko."

"Pasensya na, your Dad and I has to do a lot of things. Inaayos namin ang bago permit ng patayong
branch sa Manila." Aniya.

"It's alright, Mom. It's just a photoshoot." I smiled.

"Driver, kailangan mo? Maybe, we can find someone who can drive you?"

"No, Ma." I answered. "Ayos lang,"

"Kailangan kasing dalhin ang sasakyan sa Manila, the other car is still not fixed so..."
"Okay lang," Tawa ko. "Don't worry about me anymore, I can definitely do things on my own."

"Alright," She sighed.

Matapos n'yang kulutin ang buhok ko at nilagyan ng clip ay inayos ko ang dress na suot ko.

I fixed the necklace I am wearing and looked at myself in the mirror.

That looks decent, I guess.

"I noticed you wearing this necklace for years," She said, I saw her touched the necklace I am wearing
and I stayed quiet, listening.

"Who gave you this?"

I cleared my throat, biting my lip.

"N-Nothing," I lied.

"I know someone gave you this, Lena." Aniya at sinubukang hanapin ang mata ko. "I saw you a lot of
times, caressing this necklace while crying in the garden."

I froze, kaagad na nag-angat ng tingin at gulat na napatingin kay Mamà.

"You...knew?"
"Of course, I knew." She sighed. "I just don't say a thing but I see you."

Hindi ako kaagad nakapagsalita at napatitig lang sa kanya.

"Ejercito," I murmured, "He...gave me this."

I saw how emotion filled her eyes but then nodded and pouted her lips.

"I thought so," She murmured. "You still like him?"

Hindi ako kaagad na umimik at napatungo lang.

"Lena, answer me." She said.

I slowly nodded, staring at her. "I love him, Ma. So much."

She sighed, I saw her brush her hair and shook her head.

"I still don't want him for you, Lena." Aniya. "No one's deserving of you."

"I don't deserve his love either, Ma." Malungkot kong sabi. "Pagkatapos lahat ng ginawa ko, hindi ko rin
s'ya deserve."

She caressed my cheek and I looked at her.

"Am I a bad mother to you?" She said at kaagad akong umiling.

"No..." I whispered.

"I...I know he doesn't deserve you but you, crying every night because I took him away from you, mas
hindi mo 'yun deserve." Mabilis akong nag-angat ng tingin sa kanya at nakita ko ang lungkot roon.

"You were just in college back then, Lena, and I only want you to be successful."

"I am successful," I said. "I took up modelling, like you wanted, I joined pageants, malapit na rin akong
mag-train sa kompanya ni Papá."

"But are you happy?" She asked me and that's when I lowered my head.

"I am but..."

"But?" She asked.

"I'm sorry, Ma, but I feel unsucessful, honestly." I sighed. "Nakuha ko ang gusto ko pero sobrang may
kulang dito." I pointed my chest.

"Okay," She smiled at me, inalalayan n'ya akong paupo sa kama ko at tinignan. "Why do you feel like
that?"

Sumulyap ako sa kanya at nag-alangan.

"Don't worry, I won't judge you, I am talking to you right now as your mother. I just...you know, realized
how selfish I am. Nag-usap kasi kami ng Papá mo kagabi and I realized some things."

Tumango ako at sumulyap sa kanya.

"Ma, kasi noon. We dreamed our future together." I murmured. "Sabi namin, when I become a model or
a beauty queen, he will stay by my side, he'll be there to support me, as always. Na...kahit pagod s'ya sa
trabaho at may kasong inayos ay nand'yan lang s'ya palagi."

I saw her eyes twinkled and nodded at me.

"Tapos s'ya...kapag may kaso, d'yan lang din ako sa tabi n'ya. I'd either help him or assist him whenever
he needs something. If he wanted to talk, makikinig ako. We'll share our opinions, kagaya noong college,
kapag nag-aaral kaming dalawa, he'll help me where I lack understanding and I will help him about the
subject he's been struggling."

Nakita kong napangiti s'ya roon at hinawi ang buhok ko.

"You two did that?" She asked, quite amazed.

"Yes, Ma." I smiled. "You know why I always get high grades in law? Because he helped me a lot, sobrang
hirap kasi ng subject na 'yun and I struggled a lot memorizing or even understanding articles and such.
Tapos magrereklamo ako sa kanya and you know what? Kahit antukin 'yun at tulog kapag walang
ginagawa, gigising s'ya at mag-uunat, tapos sasabihin sa akin, what part is hard for you?"

Natawa ako habang naaalala.

"Then, maybe we'll go to the library where he'll teach me how to memorize and understand every
articles. Hindi s'ya nag-rereview but he always got the highest scores in law, kaya nga hanga sa kanya ang
law professor namin at ako s'yempre. Sabi ko, that's my future Attorney!"
"Your smile is so genuine right now," She said kaya natigilan ako at napasulyap ako sa kanya.

"I'm sorry I took that kind of smile from you," She murmured, mukhang naiiyak na.

"Ma..." I took her hand and caressed it. "I...I left him because I want him to be successful, noong mga
panahong 'yun, I found out he got a spot in Harvard's law school pero ayaw n'yang tanggapin dahil
sa'kin. He...told me, we'll stay together here, reaching our dreams together."

I shook my head.

"And I don't want that, ayokong masisira ang pangarap n'ya dahil sa akin. I know he can achieve a lot in
Cambridge and the only thing I know that can help him make a decision is when I broke up with him."

I saw her froze and looked at me.

"You...mean you did that for him to become successful? H-Hindi dahil sa'kin?"

I nodded at her.

"It's my decision, Ma, and you see how much it paid off? My love rule the law school." Napangiti ako.
"He topped the bar exam, got the highest score, he also closed a lot of cases kaya sobrang proud ako."

"Lena..." She murmured. "I'm sorry, Lena..."

"You don't need to," I said.

"I have to," She sighed. "I didn't know."

"That's a closed part of our lives now, Ma." I said. "Mahal na mahal ko pa s'ya but I don't think we're still
destined for each other."

"C-Can I do anything?" She asked. "My talk and your father's last night opened my mind, narinig ka kasi
n'yang umiiyak kagabi."

I sighed and nodded.

"Ayos lang ako, Ma. Don't worry."

"Does he have a girlfriend now, hija?" She asked me, tila nag-aalala.

"Hmm, I think so." I smiled sadly.

"Shit," She cursed kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. "Now I understand why you always avoid getting blind
dates. Kung bakit wala kang gusto sa mga inireto ko!"

Napangiti ako sa kanya.

"I don't think I deserve his love, Ma. I don't think I'd still find a love so genuine, pure and true like that." I
smiled sadly.

"Uh, maybe I can help you find one?" She negotiated pero tumawa lang ako at umiling.

"No, Ma. I think...Ejercito is the only man I'd love in this lifetime."
Pagkababa namin ni Mamá ay nagtaka kaagad si Papá. Itinaas n'ya ang kilay habang pinagmamasdan
kami kaya ngumiti ako.

"Hi, Pa." I said.

"Hello, hija. What happened to you...and your Mom?" Sumulyap s'ya kay Mommy na nakanguso na
ngayon.

"Nothing," My Mom said. "Mayroon bang sasakyan d'yan na pwede? Para maihatid si Lena sa venue ng
shoot n'ya."

"Yeah, mayroong inaayos, I think pwede na." Ani Papá. "You sure you can be alone now, Lena?"

"Yes, Pa." I smiled. "Malaki na ako, kaya ko."

"Alright, nag-aalala lang ako." Ani Papá kaya napatawa na ako at bahagyang lumapit. I slowly hugged him
and he chuckled and hugged me back.

"I always forget that you're already a grown-up woman now, sorry if we always treat you like a baby."
Aniya at mas napangiti ako.

"It's alright, Pa. I like it also whenever you're overprotective of me, tho, minsan ayaw ko." Tawa ko.

"Ang batang 'to talaga," Tawa n'ya. Nang lumayo ako ng bahagya kay Papá ay nakita ko si Mamá na
nakasulyap sa aming dalawa.

"Am I such a bitch?" My Mom suddenly asked and we both laughed.

"Not really..."

"Definitely," My father commented at napataas ang kilay ni Mom.

"What? You..." She grimaced pero tumawa lang si Dad.

"Anyway, hija, Cecille and Floyd called. Pagkatapos daw nila mag-asikaso ay pupunta sila sa shoot mo."

"Why?" I asked.

"Manunuod lang," He shrugged.

Nang magpaalam ako sa mga magulang ko ay sumakay ako sa sasakyang katatapos palang yata ayusin,
nagkaproblema kasi ata sa makina pero sa tingin ko ay naayos na rin naman.

Habang nasa byahe ay nakatitig lang ako sa daan, I always like it her in Sta. Monica, maaliwalas, malamig
at maraming mga ala-ala.

Well, my parents likes the city so well, minsan ay naroon ako naglalagi kapag kailangan sa pageants ko
pero gusto kong umuuwi dito sa probinsya.

Maybe if I got married, sa Maynila kami titira dahil sa negosyo at pagkatapos ay uuwi rito kapag may oras
para sa pahinga. Maybe we'll build a resthouse or a house?

Pero mag-aasawa ba?

Natawa ako sa sarili.

Damn, how stupid of me to dream about a happy family with Ejercito as my husband. Then, we'll build a
happy family, maybe three...four kids?

We will shower them with love so they will grow up as wonderful individuals until they build their own
family.

Wow, napakaganda ng imagination mo, Abelló! Wala ka ngang boyfriend yet you're already dreaming for
a family!

I stopped from daydreaming when the car suddenly stopped. I looked at the driver and saw him
scratching his neck.

"Ma'am, mukhang hindi pa rin maayos ang makina." Aniya.

"Can you check, Kuya?" I asked him, taking a glance at my wrist watch. "Medyo male-late na po kasi
ako."

"Sige, Ma'am." Nang lumabas s'ya ay naghintay ako sa loob.

Ten minutes and he's not back, lumabas na ako ng kotse, naabutan ko s'yang sinisilip ang makita sa ilalim
ng hood ng sasakyan kaya lumapit ako.

"Kumusta, Kuya? Malala ba?" I asked.

"Opo, Ma'am, pasensya na at ganito. Itatawag ko nalang po kayo ng taxi." Aniya.

"Sige, salamat po." I smiled and nodded.

I took a glance at my wrist watch and gasped when I realized I only got twenty minutes to reach the
venue. Kanina pa rin nagtatawag ng taxi ang driver pero madalang at puro may sakay pa.

Sinipa ko ang bato sa gilid ng daan at kinagat ang labi ko.

"What's the problem here?" Just that voice and I feel lost again.

Nagmamadaling sumilip ako sa gilid ng sasakyan at nanlaki ang mata nang makita si Ejercito na lumapit
sa driver namin.

I saw his car near ours, mukhang lumabas nang makita ang sasakyan.

"Sir, nasiraan po e. Nag-hahanap nga po kami ng taxi para makaalis si Ma'am, may photoshoot kasi." The
driver said.

Biglang lumingon si Ejercito sa pwesto ko at nanlaki ang mata ko at tumalikod.

Shit! Shit, Leona! Calm down!

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko at huminga ng malalim.

"Kumalma ka," Kausap ko sa sarili ko at mariing pumikit.

I heaved a deep breath, opened my eyes and turned but I lost my balance when I saw Ejercito standing
behind me!
Napatili ako, akala ko'y babagsak na sa lupa pero mabilis akong nasalo ni Jer at nagkatinginan kami.

"Shit..." He cursed, mabilis naman akong napakurap at nang matauhan s'ya ay marahan akong inalalayan
patayo.

"Careful," He said.

"T-Thank you," I stuttered.

Napasulyap ako sa kamay ko at nang matantong nakahawak pa rin ako sa braso n'ya at hawak n'ya ang
baywang ko ay sabay kaming napabitaw at napatikhim.

"You have a photoshoot?" Biglang tanong n'ya kaya mabilis akong humarap sa kanya at tumango.

"Yeah," I said.

"For what?" He asked, brushing his hair a bit with his fingers.

"Uh, may pageant kasi ako." I said. "And you know...just usual, photoshoots."

He nodded, I saw how his arm flexed on his longsleeve deep black shirt. Nakapantalon lang s'yang kulay
kape at sneakers pero parang mawawalan na ako ng hininga.

"Nasiraan daw kasi 'yung sasakyan kaya...natigil kami rito."

"Where is it?" He asked.

"Yung?" I saw him looked at my dress and back to my eyes.

"Venue ng shoot,"

"Uh, sa may Sta. Paredes, 'yung malaking building 'dun." I said.

I saw him took a glance on his watch then looked at me.

"Ako na ang maghahatid sa'yo," He said and my mouth parted.

"H-Huh?"

"Doon rin naman ang daan ko kaya ihahatid na kita," He said pero nanatili lang akong nakatulala sa
kanya.

"Lena," He called.

"B-Baka makaabala lang ako," I murmured. I saw his forehead creased for awhile and shook his head.

"No, it's still early for my meeting. I will just meet a client somewhere, ihahatid na kita." He said with
finality kaya nakagat ko nalang ang labi ko at wala nang nasabi.

I saw him talking to my driver at nakita kong tumango ito.

"Dadaan na rin ako sa talyer para masabi ang nangyari sa sasakyan," Ani Jer na sinilip ang sasakyan
namin.
"Sige, salamat po, Sir!" Ani nito.

Naglakad ako palapit, I saw the driver asking me about Jer kaya ngumiti lang ako at tumango.

"Ayos lang, Kuya, kaibigan ko." I said at nang tumango s'ya ay lumapit na ako kay Jer.

I saw him wearing his sunglasses again, nakabukas ang shotgun seat ng sasakyan at inaantay ako
papasok.

"Thanks," I said and smiled.

He just nodded, locked the door on my side before walking towards the driver seat and started the car.

We were silent the whole ride, panaka-naka ko s'yang tinitignan at kita kong seryoso lang s'ya habang
nagdadrive.

Can't it get any awkward?

I suddenly remembered that night when we're left alone in our cakeshop, hinatid n'ya ako pauwi pero
hindi rin kaming nag-usap dalawa.

Kulang nalang ay magkaroon ng kwago para magkaingay.

"Uh...so, saan ka magmemeeting ngayon?" I suddenly asked to remove the awkward silence.

I saw him took a glance at me.

"Just near the location you're at. Just another cases about permits, I don't have big cases for now."

"Saan ang opisina mo?" I asked him.

"Sandejas law firm," Aniya. "My Dad's, the main office is in Manila, nagtatrabaho lang ako rito para may
magawa."

"So, dapat talaga bakasyon ka dito?" I asked.

"Hmm," He said. "Nothing's interesting so I am working,"

"Kumusta naman ang trabaho? Masaya? Ako, uhm, I've been busy for shoots, modelling, pageants...just
something like that."

"It's good," His baritone voice said. I saw his veins protruding from his hand as he grip the stirring wheel.

"It's hard at first but I learned how to adopt,"

"You're doing great, I'm proud of you." I said and smiled while staring at the road we're taking.

"Y-You are?" He suddenly asked kaya napasulyap ako sa kanya.

I saw his forehead creased, his blue eyes looks confused.

"Of course," I said. "You were my bestfriend and I'm proud of what you've become."
"Were?" I saw him clenched his jaw.

"Huh?" Naguluhan ako roon.

"Dati lang? Hindi na ba ngayon?" He asked and my heart almost stopped from beating, umawang ang
labi ko ng bahagya at napatitig sa kanya.

"Sabagay," He chuckled blankly.

"Jer..." I whispered.

"You are my bestfriend, Harriet, still. Forever. It will not change and I understand kung kahit
pagkakaibigan ayaw mo na." He said blankly and I shook my head.

"It's not what I mean," I said and sighed.

Hindi naman s'ya umimik, nakita ko kung paano kumuyom ang kamay n'ya.

"Jer," I called him but he just licked his lip and maneuvered the car.

"We're here," He said coldly and went out, nangilid ang luha ko.

Nang pagbuksan n'ya ako ng pinto at nakalabas ako ay pilit kong hinanap ang mata n'ya pero nag-iwas
lang s'ya ng tingin.
He walked with me towards the venue, binati na ako ng mga kasamahan ko at photographer pagpasok
pero ang atensyon ko ay na kay Ejercito.

He was assisting me yet he's very, very quiet. Kita kong sinusuri ang buong lugar kung saan ang venue ko.

Nang hilahin na ako ng mga make up artists ay hindi na ako nakapalag. I saw Jer talking to the manager
of this event at nakita ko ang magiliw na pagsagot ng manager sa sinasabi ni Jer.

"Miss Lena, tingin dito." Napapikit ako nang ayusin nila ang mukha ko at sa muling pagmulat at paglingon
ay wala na si Jer.

I sighed.

Wala ka na bang alam kung hindi ang saktan si Ejercito, Lena?

"Naku, alagaan n'yo 'yang si Lena!" Nagulat ako ng lumitaw ang manager na may malaking ngiti.

"Po?" I asked and smiled a bit.

"Boyfriend mo ba iyon, hija? Abogado 'yun diba? Nakikita ko palagi sa balita at dyaryo!" Aniya at nagtaka
ako.

"Bakit po?" I asked.

"Wala naman pero ang sweet," Humagikhik s'ya, "Sinabing alagaan ka rito at pakainin sa tamang oras."

My heart thumped harder, nagtilian ang mga make-up artist ko pero ako'y gulat lang sa narinig.
While on our shoot, I was pre-occupied. Ang utak ko ay na kay Ejercito at sa nasabi ko kanina, hindi ko
naman sinasadya.

All I thought is...he's mad at me, at hindi na rin ako ang bestfriend n'ya kaya ko nasabi 'yun.

Now how can I apologize?

Nagso-shoot ang mga kasama ko sa pageant pero tulala lang ako, the staff offered me a lot of foods pero
tumatanggi lang ako dahil wala akong gana.

How can I apologize to him?

I feel so...so guilty and hurt.

Galit na s'ya at lahat pero nasabi pa n'yang alagaan ako sa Manager.

"Lena, last take tapos lunch na." Tawag sa akin ng photographer.

I nodded and smiled, I fixed my casual dress and wore the sash I had.

Habang nagshoshoot ay pinilit kong magrelax at maging masaya para gumanda ang mga kuha sa akin.

"Smile a little more genuine, Lena." Ani ng photographer at ginawa ko iyon.

"No, not like that, that sweet smile you always have." Aniya.
I stood still, inihahanda ang sarili para sa ngiti pero nawala ang atensyon sa camera nang magsitilian ulit
ang mga make-up artist ko at ang manager.

"Lena! Nandito na si Attorney!" Hagikhik n'ya at natigilan ako.

From their place, I saw Ejercito walking from the door, sumunod sa kanya ang iilang staff at doon ko
napansing may hawak s'yang plastic bag ng pagkain.

Nang magkatinginan kami ni Jer ay literal na naramdaman ko ang pagtigil ng puso ko.

My mouth parted, tumayo s'ya sa may malapit sa stool roon at tumitig lang sa pwesto ko.

"Okay, Lena, nand'yan na ang boyfriend mo, last shot then done." Aniya at nang humarap ako sa
photographer ay parang lumuwang ang pakiramdam ko.

He came back!

"Smile!" He asked me to smile and I did, effortlessly. Kita ko ang paglaki ng ngiti n'ya nang tignan ang
picture at nag-thumbs-up sa akin.

"This is the genuine smile I am talking about!" He chuckled. "Boyfriend lang pala ang katapat." He teased
me and I smiled a bit.

"Hindi po... Kaibigan lang." I said.

He shot me an 'Are-you-kidding-me' look and I just smiled.

Sa muling pagharap ko ay nakita kong kinakausap na si Jer ng manager at ng mga make-up artist,
nakikiusyoso rin ang mga kandidata at mukhang nabibighani rin kay Jer pero ang atensyon ko ay ang
gusto ko lang s'yang makita.

"Kanina pa namin inaaya sa pagkain pero ayaw, ikaw lang ata ang inaantay!" Tawa pa ng manager.

I saw Jer shifted his gaze at me, his cold blue eyes pierced through my soul and my heart pounded like
crazy.

He came back...kahit galit s'ya sa akin! He came back!

Umayos s'ya ng tayo nang makita ako, binilisan ko naman ng lakad palapit sa kanya dahil nangingilid na
ang luha ko.

He looks a bit confused when he saw my eyes, nang makalapit naman ako sa kanya ay walang
pagdadalawang-isip na yumakap ako sa kanyang baywang.

I heard gasps and cheers.

Pumikit naman ako ng mariin at isinubsob ang mukha ko sa kanyang leeg at mahinang napaiyak.

"S-Sorry..." I whispered and clutched his shirt. "I didn't mean to say that, sorry."

Hindi s'ya umimik kaya mas sumikip ang dibdib ko.

"Y-You're still my bestfriend," I whispered. "Y-You will always be."

He sighed, mas nanghina lang ako nang maramdaman ko ang marahang pagyakap n'ya sa akin pabalik at
ang mahina n'yang boses.

"It's alright, I'm not mad, okay?" His husky voice whispered.

"S-Sorry..." I whispered. "A-Ang sama-sama ko sa'yo."

"Sshh," He hushed me and slowly pulled away, hinanap n'ya ang mata ko at marahang pinunasan ang
luha ko.

"It's alright, don't cry." He murmured, staring at me. "I'm not mad."

I sniffed and nodded.

"Sorry..."

"Don't cry, Harriet." He murmured and stared at me softly. "I brought you foods, I want you to eat a lot,
okay?"

I nodded and he smiled, a genuine one that I haven't seen for years before pinching my cheek.

#Heartlessnostalgia #Sandejas

(1 reader review/s)

Comments
Image Description

Amor Millare

56 days ago

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