Edexcel GCSE English

Language Paper One

Revision Guide

Racheal Smith 3/21/17 Educator and Writer

Getting Started
Reading the extract and Question 1 and Question 2

Understanding the Paper

Before we get started with the examination questions
it is worth looking at the examination paper. It will be
tempting to spend a lot of time on Section A and rush
Section B. But… look at the marks available:

Section A: 24 marks
Section B: 40 marks

This means that you should spend more time on the writing than might feel comfortable. The
examination paper advises you to spend one hour on Section A and 45 minutes on Section B. You will
spend an hour on Section A because you will take about 10 minutes to read the extract. It might take you
longer to read the extract if you study it at the same time.
This then gives you 2 minutes per mark to answer the questions in the reading section.

What does it mean to study the extract in the examination?

Spending time studying the extract will save you time when you answer the questions. But, how do you
study the extract?
Here is a flow diagram showing what you should do at the start of the examination.

Read the Highlight

questions in examples of Add notes in
Highlight
Section A. Find the lines language and the margin for
answers to
Keep the identified in structure as great ideas
Question 1
question Question 1, 2 you read for you have that
and 2 as you
paper open as and 3 Question 3 answer the
read
you read the and 4 as you questions.
extract. read

By doing this work before you start writing answers, you give yourself chance to write well when you
write answers. This is because you have already done the thinking.
 Task 1: You are going to practice reading the extract with the questions in mind.
Find 4 highlighters, each with different colours. Use a highlighter for each question.
As you read the extract, highlight the part of the text you are going to use for each question. For
question 3 and 4, bullet point ideas in the margin that you would mention. Time yourself but take
as much time as you need in this first practice attempt.

Below is an extract that could be used in your examination. It is an extract from the novel Oliver Twist by
Charles Dickens. The questions you would be expected to answer are:
1. From lines 1 – 4 identify the phrase that tells us that the boys were only treated to more food on
special occasions. (1 mark)

Highlighter colour =

2. From lines 5 – 17 give two ways the narrator revealed the difficult conditions the boys lived in.
You may use your own words or quotations from the text. (2 marks)

Highlighter colour =

3. In lines 18 to the end, how does the writer use language and structure to show how extreme the
events were. Support your views with detailed reference to the text. (6 marks)

Highlighter colour =

4. In this extract, there is an attempt to capture the awful conditions. Evaluate how successfully this
is achieved. Support your views with detailed reference to the text. (15 marks)

Highlighter colour =

Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens

The room in which the boys were fed, was a large stone hall, with a
copper at one end: out of which the master, dressed in an apron for
the purpose, and assisted by one or two women, ladled the gruel at
mealtimes. Of this festive composition each boy had one porringer,
and no more—except on occasions of great public rejoicing, when he
had two ounces and a quarter of bread besides.
The bowls never wanted washing. The boys polished them with their
spoons till they shone again; and when they had performed this operation (which
never took very long, the spoons being nearly as large as the bowls), they would sit
staring at the copper, with such eager eyes, as if they could have devoured the very
bricks of which it was composed; employing themselves, meanwhile, in sucking their
fingers most assiduously, with the view of catching up any stray splashes of gruel
that might have been cast thereon. Boys have generally excellent appetites. Oliver
Twist and his companions suffered the tortures of slow starvation for three months:
at last they got so voracious and wild with hunger, that one boy, who was tall for his
age, and hadn’t been used to that sort of thing (for his father had kept a small cook-
 shop), hinted darkly to his companions, that unless he had another basin of gruel
per diem, he was afraid he might some night happen to eat the boy who slept next
him, who happened to be a weakly youth of tender age. He had a wild, hungry eye;
and they implicitly believed him. A council was held; lots were cast who should walk
up to the master after supper that evening, and ask for more; and it fell to Oliver
Twist.
The evening arrived; the boys took their places. The master, in his cook’s uniform,
stationed himself at the copper; his pauper assistants ranged themselves behind
him; the gruel was served out; and a long grace was said over the short commons.
The gruel disappeared; the boys whispered each other, and winked at Oliver; while
his next neighbors nudged him. Child as he was, he was desperate with hunger, and
reckless with misery. He rose from the table; and advancing to the master, basin and
spoon in hand, said: somewhat alarmed at his own temerity: ‘Please, sir, I want
some more.’
The master was a fat, healthy man; but he turned very pale. He gazed in stupefied
astonishment on the small rebel for some seconds, and then clung for support to
the copper. The assistants were paralysed with wonder; the boys with fear.
‘What!’ said the master at length, in a faint voice.
‘Please, sir,’ replied Oliver, ‘I want some more.’
The master aimed a blow at Oliver’s head with the ladle; pinioned him in his arm;
and shrieked aloud for the beadle.
The board were sitting in solemn conclave, when Mr. Bumble rushed into the room
in great excitement, and addressing the gentleman in the high chair, said, ‘Mr.
Limbkins, I beg your pardon, sir! Oliver Twist has asked for more!’
There was a general start. Horror was depicted on every countenance.
‘For more!’ said Mr. Limbkins. ‘Compose yourself, Bumble, and answer me distinctly.
Do I understand that he asked for more, after he had eaten the supper allotted by
the dietary?’
‘He did, sir,’ replied Bumble.
‘That boy will be hung,’ said the gentleman in the white waistcoat. ‘I know that boy
will be hung.’
Nobody controverted the prophetic gentleman’s opinion. An animated discussion
took place. Oliver was ordered into instant confinement; and a bill was next morning
pasted on the outside of the gate, offering a reward of five pounds to anybody who
would take Oliver Twist off the hands of the parish. In other words, five pounds and
Oliver Twist were offered to any man or woman who wanted an apprentice to any
trade, business, or calling.

It might have taken you up to 20 minutes to read and study the extract, maybe even more. This might
seem like a long time. But, there are two things to remember:
1. You have all the answers ready now. So, writing your responses will be easy and fast.
2. You will get quicker if you practise. This is one reason why we revise.
 A POINT TO REMEMBER: There is a theory that was put forward by the Olympic cyclist
coach. This was called Marginal Gains. You will gain time by getting better at lots of small
things through practice and refinement. So, you will get quicker to find your Question 1
quotation, for instance. Ideas about language and structure will appear more quickly in your
mind the more you read extracts maybe. So, it may take 20 minutes now – but you can get
this down to between 12 and 15 minutes by the time of the real examination.

You can revise this skill by finding extracts in books or on the internet. If you type “literature extracts”
into Google, you will see lots of sites with extracts listed.
You can then make up questions easily. This is because the template for the question paper stays the
same. Only certain words and phrases change depending on the extract.
Here is the template to the questions:

1. From lines XXXXXXXX identify the phrase that tells us XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. (1 mark)

2. From lines XXXXXXXXXXXXX give two ways the narrator revealed XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
You may use your own words or quotations from the text. (2 marks)

3. In lines XXXXXXXXXXXXX, how does the writer use language and structure to show
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. Support your views with detailed reference to the text. (6 marks)

4. In this extract, there is an attempt to XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. Evaluate how successfully this is

achieved. Support your views with detailed reference to the text. (15 marks)

Task 2: Find an extract of about 40 lines long on the Internet. The extract should be from a fiction
book and should probably be written before 1914. Copy and paste the extract into a Word
document.
Use the question template to make up examination questions for Section A.
Practice reading and studying the extract, using the questions you have made up.
Repeat this until you can study the extract in detail within 12 to 15 minutes.

Answering Question 1 and 2

Once you study the extract thoroughly the answers to question 1 and 2 becomes quick and simple. You
should simply copy the small part of the text from the extract into your answer booklet. Remember: the
question says “phrase” – so this is not a word nor is it a sentence. Try to be as precise as possible when
you copy out a section of the text to answer these questions.
To be correct: Answer the question and choose a phrase from the correct part of the extract. Easy.
Question 3
Language and Structure

Identifying Language and Structure

To be able to write about language and structure you need to be able to name the technique that the
write has used.
Here is some of the terms that you might use to write about language and structure.

Language Structure

Noun Statement
Noun phrase Question
Verb Command
Verb phrase Imperative
Adverb Exclamation
Adverbial phrase Simple sentence
Adjective Incomplete sentence
Adjectival phrase Compound sentence
Pronoun Complex sentence
Superlative Rhetorical question
Symbolism Short sentence
Alliteration Pattern of three
Metaphor Oxymoron
Simile Repetition
Irony Juxtaposition
Exaggeration Paradox
Hyperbole Anaphora

Task 1: Highlight the words and phrases, language features and techniques and sentence forms that you
know.

Task 2: Select 5 language and structure techniques you think you know. Find an example of
the technique in a book or from the article.
i.
ii.
iii.
iv.
v.
Task 3: Select 5 language and structure techniques you do not know. Find out the meaning of the term
and write a definition for the technique. Find an example of the technique in a book or from the article.
i.
ii.
iii.
iv.
v.

Select a quotation and identifying a technique

When you are reading the extract, you need to highlight words and phrases that are used in an
interesting way. You will know if it is interesting because it will make you see an image, hear a sound in a
particular way, or make you feel some emotion. It is us up to you what language and structure is
interesting.

Read this extract.

Some possible examples of interesting language and structure have been highlighted. The
highlighted text would be used as a quotation in your answer.

Then they went into José Arcadio Buendía’s room, shook him as hard as they could, shouted in
his ear, put a mirror in front of his nostrils, but they could not awaken him. A short time later,
when the carpenter was taking measurements for the coffin, through the window they saw a
light rain of tiny yellow flowers falling. They fell on the town all through the night in a silent
storm, and they covered the roofs and blocked the doors and smothered the animals who slept
outdoors. So many flowers fell from the sky that in the morning the streets were carpeted with
a compact cushion and they had to clear them away with shovels and rakes so that the funeral
procession could pass by.

Task 4: Name the techniques highlighted in the extract. There may be more than one language technique
used in each quotation.
i. “a light rain of tiny yellow flowers falling” uses

ii. “a silent storm” uses

iii. “smothered” uses

iv. “carpeted with a compact cushion” uses

Tip: The smaller the portion of text you choose to use as a quotation the cleverer you will seem.
Notice how the writer has used “they” all the way through the extract. This technique could be called a
pronoun or it could be called repetition. This means it can be language or structure.
When starting to write about this language or structure technique you need to give an example and then
label the technique. It would look something like this: “The writer uses the pronoun “they” when
describing those tending to the dead man.” Or “The writer uses repetition of the word “they” when
describing those tending to the dead man.”

Task 5: Using the quotations and techniques you identified in task 3, write a sentence that introduces the
quotation and the technique. You may want to begin with “The writer uses…”
i.

ii.

iii.

Task 6: You need to practise the process of identifying interesting quotations and naming the
language and structure techniques used by the writer. Remember: practise = small gains.
Highlight the interesting language used by the writer.
Name the language – labelling the language techniques in the margin.
Select the best three language techniques, which you think will make you appear clever.

There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above

a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw
a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of
it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the
forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For
like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought
pierced him that in the end the Shadow was
only a small and passing thing: there was a
light and high beauty for ever beyond its
reach.

Tip: Highlighting the quotations you will use is an excellent technique in the examination. Naming the
techniques in the margin is also a good way of working out your answer. Circling the strong ideas and
crossing out the weak ideas gives you the best chance of a top mark!

Task 7: Write a series of sentences that introduce the quotation and the language technique used. You
might want to start with “The writer has used…”
 REVISION ACTIVITIES:
1. Go into a shop and label all the language techniques you see on signs and on product labels.

2. Collect all the leaflets and junk mail. Create a scrap books, cutting out examples of language
and then labelling the language.

Commenting on the language and the structure

The next question you need to answer is: why does the writer use the language or structure technique?
You must make your best guess about the impact the writer was hoping for when using that language.
Here is the same extract you have seen before. The language and structure is likely to concentrate on the
impact of the man dying. So, all guesses about why the language and structure is used will likely connect
to this event.

Then they went into José Arcadio Buendía’s room, shook him as hard as they could, shouted in
his ear, put a mirror in front of his nostrils, but they could not awaken him. A short time later,
when the carpenter was taking measurements for the coffin, through the window they saw a
light rain of tiny yellow flowers falling. They fell on the town all through the night in a silent
storm, and they covered the roofs and blocked the doors and smothered the animals who slept
outdoors. So many flowers fell from the sky that in the morning the streets were carpeted with
a compact cushion and they had to clear them away with shovels and rakes so that the funeral
procession could pass by.

Look at this example of an answer which answers two questions now: What language or structure
technique has the writer used? And: Why does the writer use the language and structure technique?
The writer has used the oxymoron “silent storm” to describe the weather after the death of Jose. The
contradiction of the storm, which suggests an extreme upset, or the grief of nature, is contrasted with
the adjective “silent”, which shows the reader that even nature is being respectful of the loss of this man.
Task 7: Use the other quotations to write paragraphs about the language and structure techniques used
by the writer. Remember, should say what language and structure technique and then why the writer
has use this technique.

i. “a light rain of tiny yellow flowers falling”

ii. “smothered”

iii. “carpeted with a compact cushion”

 Let’s go back a step.
The starting point for working out why language is used is to puzzle out what the writer is talking about
and how he or she wants you to feel about the events or the people in the events.

Task 8: Answer these questions.

There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above
a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw i. What is happening in this extract?
a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of ii. What does the writer want us to think about
it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the these events?
forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For iii. What does the writer want us to think about
like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought Sam?
pierced him that in the end the Shadow was iv. What does the writer want us to think about
only a small and passing thing: there was a the Shadow?
light and high beauty for ever beyond its
reach.

Task 9: Write about the choice of the verb “peeping” and the choice of the adjective “white.” Remember
to start by writing a sentence that answers the question What language technique does the writer use?
And, then answer the question: Why does the writer use these language techniques? What structure
technique does the writer use? Why does the writer use this structure technique?

Task 10: Practise writing about why the writer uses language techniques. Select a different quotation
from the extract, identify the technique and then ask: why.

REVISION ACTIVITIES:
3. When you watch advertisements on TV ask yourself why they are choosing certain language
techniques.

4. Produce a diagram that reminds you what you should do in the examination when you are
asked to write about language and structure techniques.

Adding depth and detail

To get the highest marks you will need to write a lot about a little. This is an important phrase “write a
lot about a little” if you want to get a grade one in the examination. Remember when you were selecting
quotations you were told you would seem clever if the quotation was short. This is the “little”. The “lot”
is the length of the comment you make about the language and structure technique.
You have learnt to answer two questions so far:
What language/ structure technique does the writer use?
Why does the writer use this language/ structure technique?
There are two other questions you could ask to add more depth and detail to your answer. First: You
could ask “Why does the writer use this language/ structure technique?” again (and possibly again).
Second: “How does the reader think or feel about this language/ structure use?”

Task 11: Recap the process of writing about language/ structure techniques you have learnt so far.

i. Work out what the extract is about.

ii. Highlight interesting uses of language.

iii. Answer the question: What language technique has the writer used?

iv. Answer the question: Why has the writer used this language technique?

v. Write the answers to your questions into a paragraph.

This paragraph, if you write two or three other paragraphs of the same quality, will likely be good enough
for a grade four or a grade five.
Your paragraph might look something like this:

The writer uses adjectives such as “straw haired” and “effeminate” when describing the man. The
writer uses these adjectives to show the reader that he does not like this man. It is like he is insulting
him with his choice of description.
What if you asked more questions? Like:
Why is “straw” so bad?
Why would the word “effeminate” be such an insult to a man with such big muscles?
How does the writer want me to think and feel about this man?
The paragraph might look something like this:

The writer uses adjectives such as “straw haired” and “effeminate” when describing the man. The use
of the adjective “straw” makes the hair sound brittle and like it is stuck out scruffily. Considering the
man is dressed so smartly this shows he is probably putting on his posh ways. The adjective
“effeminate” when describing a man with muscles in 1925 would be seen as a massive insult,
questioning his masculinity and suggesting he is dressed like a woman. This reveals to the reader that
the writer uses these adjectives to present a potential villain, a dislikeable man. Fitzgerald is not subtle
when insulting this character, emphasised by the use of the word “cruel” towards the end of the
extract.

Notice the difference between the two paragraphs? One is obviously longer than the other. This is not
what makes it better. It is because the second paragraph gives more depth and detail about each
quotation selected. This is what is meant by writing a lot about a little. Asking more than one question
about each quotation helps you to say a lot.

Task 12: Write a lot about a little. Write about the language or structure used in this quotation:
“His speaking voice, a gruff, husky tenor added to the impression of fractiousness”

REVISION ACTIVITY:
5. The only way to get good at this is to drill the skill. Like a sports person or a soldier, you need
to do this over and over again until it is muscle memory.

To write a full response to question 3, you need to write one paragraph about language and one
paragraph about structure. You have 12 minutes to write this response. This means you have 6 minutes
to write each paragraph. This is a lot of time and you have time to think carefully about what you write.

Remember: Marginal Gains! It might take you 20 minutes to write a quality response to this
question at first. However, with more practise you will get quicker. Remember to keep
asking questions and helping your brain get used to the idea of making up and answering
these questions. This will help you to get quicker!
Question 4
How successful is the writer?

It is not easy to say how well you think a writer has done. This question is worth 15 marks, so the
examiner is going to expect a lot from you too. They are going to want you to have an opinion on the way
the writer has made specific, or small, choices. This means having an opinion about the language and
structure used by the writer.
The good news is that you have already worked hard at answering a question about language and
structure in Question 3. This means you can use these skills again and then add to them.
The first skill you need to revise then is the identification and comment on language.
Remember this table.

Language Structure

Noun Statement
Noun phrase Question
Verb Command
Verb phrase Imperative
Adverb Exclamation
Adverbial phrase Simple sentence
Adjective Incomplete sentence
Adjectival phrase Compound sentence
Pronoun Complex sentence
Superlative Rhetorical question
Symbolism Short sentence
Alliteration Pattern of three
Metaphor Oxymoron
Simile Repetition
Irony Juxtaposition
Exaggeration Paradox
Hyperbole Anaphora

Task 1: Select 5 more techniques. Write the definition of the technique in your own words. Write the
meaning so you really understand what it means.
i.
ii.
iii.
iv.
v.
Task 2: Select a quotation from this extract that you think is written in an interesting way. Using a
highlighter is a good examination technique here.

When I was a girl, my life was music that was always getting louder. Everything moved me.
A dog following a stranger. That made me feel so much. A calendar that showed the wrong
month. I could have cried over it. I did. Where the smoke from a chimney ended. How an
overturned bottle rested at the edge of a table. I spent my life learning to feel less. Every
day I felt less. Is that growing old? Or is it something worse? You cannot protect yourself
from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.

Task 3: Name the language you have found interesting. Write a sentence that introduces the quotation
and the technique you have identified.
For example: The writer has used the metaphor of “music” to represent the life of the girl as she grows
up.

Task 4: Ask yourself “why” and “how” questions.

Why does the writer do this?
How does the reader react to this?
Remember to replace “this” with your quotation and the technique. For instance: Why does the writer
use the metaphor of “music”? How does the reader react to the metaphor of “music”?

Task 5: Write a paragraph for the language you have selected. Use the questions you have asked to add
depth and detail. Here is an example to help you.

The writer has used the metaphor of “music” to represent the life of the girl as she grows up. The
writer says that the music grows louder, suggesting that the music represents the bustle of life and
how complicated it becomes. However, the use of “music” makes the girl seem almost magical and
like she is full of the powerful emotions of music. The reader starts to understand that the volume of
the music represents the passion in the girl and how it grows, as she does.

When you are writing about someone’s writing it is important to write use “I” and “my”. However, you
still need to sound like an expert, so you need to avoid like and dislike or good and bad. These words
sound like something young children say. So, to sound more mature you need to use evaluative
adjectives.
Here are some evaluative adjectives.

Task 1: Which of these adjectives can be used to evaluate a text? Then, use a thesaurus and a dictionary
to come up with a long list of adjectives that evaluate if something is good or bad.

Task 2: Here are some examples of giving an opinion about a writer’s work. Spot the difference between
these paragraphs and the earlier paragraphs about the writer’s technique.

The writer has successfully used the metaphor of “music” to represent the life of the girl as she
grows up. The writer says that the music grows louder, effectively suggesting that the music
represents the bustle of life and how complicated it becomes. However, the use of “music” is more
than this, as it makes the girl seem almost magical and like she is full of the powerful emotions of
music, which is a clever way to introduce the emotions of growing up. The reader starts to
understand that the volume of the music represents the passion in the girl and how it grows, as she
does – which shows the depth of the metaphor.

You need to be able to suggest what the writer has done successfully. You might decide that there is
something that the writer has done that is unsuccessful. This is valid too. When you read the extract, you
are looking for examples of:
a) what the writer has done to achieve the task the examination question suggests
b) where the writer has used a specific technique to do this.

You need to write at least three paragraphs in response to this question. You should focus on one
quotation and opinion per paragraph, like you did when writing about language and structure.
Task 3: Here is an extract from Silas Marner by George Eliot. How successfully has the writer
shown the woman’s need for the drug?
Select three quotations that will help you answer this question. Remember in the examination you would
use a highlighter to find the quotations you want to use.

She needed comfort, and she knew but one comforter—the familiar demon in her bosom; but she
hesitated a moment, after drawing out the black remnant, before she raised it to her lips. In that
moment the mother’s love pleaded for painful consciousness rather than oblivion—pleaded to be
left in aching weariness, rather than to have the encircling arms benumbed so that they could not
feel the dear burden. In another moment Molly had flung something away, but it was not the black
remnant—it was an empty phial. And she walked on again under the breaking cloud, from which
there came now and then the light of a quickly veiled star, for a freezing wind had sprung up since
the snowing had ceased. But she walked always more and more drowsily, and clutched more and
more automatically the sleeping child at her bosom. Slowly the demon was working his will, and cold
and weariness were his helpers.

Task 4: Answer these questions about your quotations.

i. What technique does the writer use in the quotation?
ii. Is it used successfully or unsuccessfully?
iii. What evaluative adjectives could you use to describe the reasons for the choices made by the
writer?
iv. What evaluative adjectives could you use to describe the impact this choice by the writer has on
the reader?

To produce a successful response to question 4 in the examination, you need to put all the answers to
these questions together in a paragraph. Remember, you should use one quotation per paragraph.

Another way of getting to the top grade

The main point of this question is that you have an opinion about the text. To get to Level 5 in the mark
scheme this needs to be a “detached critical judgement”. This means answering the question without
using “I think”. You might want to work up to level 5 and begin answering this question by saying simply
what you think about the text – whether the writer is good in the way they present the idea in the
question or not and why.
Task 5: Look again at the extract from Silas Marner. Do you think the writer is good at what they are
doing? Answer this question using “I think” and see what comes up. Try to have a really strong opinion
about the text and don’t worry too much about naming anything or saying what the writer has done.
Task 6: Edit your basic answer – your first response – by adding in the techniques the writer has used in
the bits you have picked out that you like or don’t like.
Task 7: Edit your better answer by taking out “I think”, starting instead with “The writer has
successfully…”
Tip: Each time you make an edit to your paragraph, from Task 5 to Task 7, you improve the level of your
answer!
Creative Writing
Coming up with an idea

In the examination, you will have a choice of two questions. One question will be in response to a
picture. The other question will ask you to write a story or part of a story. There is no right or wrong
question to select. You need to choose the question that most inspires you because this will undoubtedly
make you a better writer!
Then, there are some general rules that writers use.
1. Write about what you know, it will be a lot more convincing!
2. If it keeps you interested it is more likely to interest your reader
3. Using real life events that have had an emotional impact on you are useful for the examination.

The picture is a useful prompt for people who are visual learners. It is a good idea to spend a lot of time
describing details in the picture as part of your writing.
Here is a picture that could be used in the examination.

The question asked by the examiner is: Write the opening to a story where there is a dramatic storm.
You do not have to use the picture. However, the opening of the story should set the scene with little
action. This means that the opening should be a description of the storm. This means you can use the
picture for the whole of your piece of writing.
Task 1: Nouns are things or ideas. Write nouns all over the picture.
You need to look small when you are listing nouns. Here is a man. “Man” is a noun.
What about: Coat, gloves, shoulders, fingers, shoes, soles, feet, trousers, hood, split,
hand, step, fold, crease, thumb, sleeves, wrists, knees, legs, pockets, palms.
You see the point. “Man” is the main thing that you spot. However, when you look
more closely you see a lot more details.

Task 2: List a lot more nouns, using the picture to help you.
You then need to select the nouns that you are going to focus on. Imagine that all you are going to do is
describe this scene at the start of your story. The examiner will love this – they want you to show off –
they really do only want the opening few paragraphs. So, with this in mind (and not what is going to
happen in the rest of the story) select nouns that will help you say the most.

Task 3: Select the big nouns that are going to be the topic of your paragraphs. Then, select the best
small nouns that you are going to focus on when writing the paragraph.

Big Noun Small Nouns

Notice how you now have the start of a plan for your piece of writing.
You might want to improve the level of your writing by deciding what type of fiction you are going to
produce. This will help guide you to make some choices and prompt ideas. For instance, if you decided
this was going to be a disaster story or a love story or a spy story. These stories would help you to decide
on what you were going to focus on in the image.
Task 4: Write a summary of the ways of describing the picture depending on the type of story.
Disaster Love Spy

The other type of question gives you a task but does not offer you much of a prompt. This gives you a lot
of freedom to write what you want. This is both exciting and difficult all at the same time.
Here are some example questions:
Write about a scary character.
Write about an exciting event.
Write about a series of small shocking events.
Tip: Notice how they don’t mention the word “story”. This is on purpose. They want you to focus on
writing well. They do not want a whole or complicated story, you don’t have time. A professional writer
takes weeks to perfect a story. You have about 40 minutes. Four paragraphs are plenty!
The first way to come up with an idea is to identify the keyword in the task and brainstorm ideas.

Write about a scary character.

Task 5: Fill up a page with ideas about “scary character”. Write down anything that comes into your
mind – even if you think it is silly. Use first ideas to come up with other ideas. One example has been
completed for you.

Likes
horns
destruction

demons

Scary Character evil

hell

Some people do not like the muddled nature of brainstorm/ spider diagrams. So, an alternative would be
to write a list, using headings and subheadings and bullet points.
There are lots of strategies. Try this other strategy to see if you prefer this one instead.
Task 6: Give yourself exactly 90 seconds. Write anything and everything that comes into your mind.
Don’t stop writing, keep the pen moving. If your mind goes blank just write the phrase I am writing I
am writing until something else comes in your mind.
It might be that your mind goes blank. Some people prefer to think in pictures. This would suggest you
choose the picture question or you can do a 90 second sketch of an image that pops in your mind and the
follow the strategies for a picture for your own work.
Here is another alternative.
Task 7: Think of a piece of music that links to the key word. Write ideas that this music prompts in your
mind.
Creative Writing
Structuring your work
One of the major mark scheme points that will dictate your mark is your use of paragraphs.
• Students with a low mark will not use paragraphs.
• Students gaining a middle mark will use paragraphs but using them in a way that looks like they
don’t know how they work too well.
• Students gaining the highest mark will use paragraphs in an imaginative way, where choices are
made for the effect they have on the reader.

So, what is a paragraph? A paragraph is a block focused on one idea – people often use TIPTOP to help
them understand paragraphs. Time, place, topic, people. These are the different times you change
paragraph. If you think about this sensibly, this means you change paragraph when you change focus.
Your thinking should go like this:
Right, I need to describe the setting – including a house and some weather
And then, I need to focus on my character
I should then show how the character spends the day
Then I will talk about an event the character was involved in.
Look at how the different line changes from one focus to another. The description of character might
overlap with the day but you need to find the point when you have stopped describing the character and
are now describing a day in their life.
Task 1: Think about the description of your scary character. Write four statements that show what you
are going to focus on. Each focus you mention will be a different paragraph.
This is an image that could be used as a
picture in the examination.
If you were using this to set the scene for
a bigger story what would your focus be?
Where would you start with the reader?
Where would you move them to next, and
next and then where would your
description stop before moving on to the
story?
Write these focuses as four statements.
These statements would make up the
paragraphs for your story.

Task 2: Find a distinctive image that could be used in the exam. Think how you would use this image to
help guide the reader into a story, setting the scene.
Sometimes, paragraphs can be one sentence long. This should be used sparingly – for powerful effect on
the reader!
You are expected to organise the ideas well within paragraphs too.
At primary school, you may have been taught something called: Big Point, little point. A Big Point is the
paragraph. A little point is an idea within the paragraph.
So, the big point was to describe the setting and include details about weather.
Small points:
- Inside warm house
- Mountains through window
- Snow
- Windy
- Snow blowing against windows of house

Task: Use this image to come up with Big Points and

little points.
The headings (big points) and bullet points (small
points) will make up a paragraph map that would
guide you when you write.

Tip: It is good examination technique to spend at least 20% of your time planning what you are going to
write. It is better to write less than more, so you have time to plan what you are going to write.
What does imaginative and effective paragraphing look like? It is using paragraphs and the order of
paragraphs to have an impact on the reader.
So, if I wanted the setting of my story to be peaceful and calm, as if I was writing a love story, then I
would start by focusing on the water and the way the light hits the water.
If I wanted to suggest to my reader that something scary was going to happen, I would start with the
branches of the trees, that are bare of leaves. Then, I might have a single sentence paragraph that
introduces a noise.
Task: Look at your paragraph map. Is your use of paragraphing clever? Will it have an impact on the
reader in some way? Do you know what impact this would be?

Revision Activity:
1. Go to this website - https://pixabay.com/ where
you will find lots of free images you can use. Use
the images you find to drill the skill of coming up
with ideas and organising these ideas effectively.
Creative Writing
Making clever choices on purpose

The favourite question of any student ever is: did the writer really mean to do that? Sometimes the
answer will be no. A lot of time the answer will be yes. Skilled writers make choices on purpose – they
want to have an impact on the reader.
If you want a top mark you need to make imaginative and effective choices that have an impact on the
reader.
The easiest way to practise making clever choices is to write a short text. So, let’s focus on writing exactly
100 words. This will force you to be disciplined and choose only the best words.

Task 1: Write a 100-word

story in response to this picture. Remember to guide your reader through the story in an organised
way.
As you only have 100 words, you will have had to edit closely as you write. You will have taken words out
that were not needed and added some to extend an idea. This is part of the process of making effective
choices. You must edit as you write.
You can also make your writing more effective by using imagery. Writers use imagery because they know
we all have shared ideas about the world. Say “duck” to someone and they will likely see a similar image
in their mind.
Task 2: Here is an activity to show you how powerful imagery can be. You and a friend/ family member
follow these instructions, each which ask you to draw a tree. Don’t watch each other.
1. Draw a tree.
2. Draw a tree that looks like a lollipop (simile).
3. Draw the witches tree (metaphor)

Swap pictures. What do you notice about the pictures that were drawn from imagery?
Imagery can change the way the reader thinks or feels about something.
Even in a 100-word story you need to impact on the way the reader thinks and feels.
Here is a 100-word story:
The woman walked down the dark street. All but one street light was blown out. It was dark. Her shadow
was long down the road and soon there was another shadow there too. She began to walk quickly, then
into a run and then a sprint. All shadows disappeared as she moved out of the light and now she
panicked. She could her the footsteps now, closer and closer. She stopped. She could not run anymore.
From behind, a hand gripped over her face and puller her back. She could not breathe and she could not
escape. He had her.

The examiner would like the short sentences for effect. These sentences make it seem panicked and
breathless. But, the word shadow is repeated and it feels a little factual. This examiner would want the
writer to work harder to impact on the reader.

Dark
Jagged edges
Shadow
Blob
moves

If you are going to add to the description you need to think of a simile or metaphor to give more impact
to the shadow. The two circles overlap to suggest they are similar. The words in the overlap are the
features that are the same. You need to think about what could be used as a comparison. An obvious
metaphor would be the monstrous shadow. There are lots of possibilities.
Task 3: Look at your 100-word story. Highlight any words that you think could be enhanced by
imagery. Use two overlapping circles to come up with metaphors or similes that could help your story
have impact on your reader.
As well images, the writer will also try to control the tone of voice that the reader uses. The writer will
use techniques such as alliteration or onomatopoeia to make the piece sound more like the emotions the
reader should feel.
To improve this line: All shadows disappeared as she moved out of the light and now she panicked.
A writer might use lots of “T” sounds or “P” sounds or “D” sounds. So, the writer could instead write
“Panic punched into her throat, as the darkness deepened.” This sounds harsh, much scarier.
Task 4: Rewrite your 100-word story. Use sounds that match the emotions you want you reader to feel.
Here are some other techniques that a writer will use on purpose to have an impact on the reader.
 Metaphor Task 5: Use the internet to find out why a
Simile writer would use each of these techniques.
Personification Why might they use them on purpose to
Repetition impact on the reader.
Exaggeration
Hyperbole Then, try to use these techniques in your
Oxymoron 100-word story. Keep each draft you make.
Paradox
Symbolism Show someone your first draft and then your
Alliteration final draft. Ask them to decide which one is
Pattern of three better and why.
Irony

You cannot be expected to use these techniques as you write your first draft. This is the reason the
examiner is asking for only a short extract from a story. The examiner realises that you will need to keep
going back to edit and make improvements to your choices.
Here is the thinking process of a writer.

Come up with
an idea

Write it down
Make lots of
really quickly as
changes
a note

Think (again Write a first/

and again) of second/ third
the reader and draft without
the emotions thinking too
and ideas hard

The writer will go around this cycle as many times as they need to. They will keep refining and perfecting
a piece of writing until they impact on the reader as powerfully as possible.

Revision Activity:
2. Keep writing 100-word stories and editing
them, using the techniques on purpose.
Creative Writing
Varying your sentences
The examiner will be looking your use of sentences. You need to write accurate sentence, you need to
use lots of different types of sentence and you need to write sentences that have an impact on the
reader.
Accurate sentences that lack variety = low mark
Varied sentences, accurately written = middle mark
Varied and accurate sentences, which are used to impact the reader = high mark
Sentences have a subject (noun) and a verb. They need a capital letter and a full stop.

A man scowled.

This is a sentence because something (man: noun) acted

(scowled: verb).

The man is old.

This is also a sentence – “is” – which means the action here is just being alive!
Task 1: Drill the skill of writing accurate simple sentences.
 Use this image to write a series of simple sentences.
Nouns:
- Girl
- Dancer
- Ballerina

Verbs
- Danced
- Spins
- Stretches.

The first way you can add variety is by adding an adverb to the start of the
sentence.
Angrily, the man scowled.
Obviously, the man is old.
Another way you can add variey is by adding more information to the end of the sentence. Here there are
subordinate clauses added to the main clause. This makes a complex sentence.
The man scowled, as he looked at the picture.
The man is old, which means he struggles walking.
Task 2: Edit your sentences about the girl. First include an adverb at the start of the sentences about
the girl. Then, see if you can turn your simple sentences into complex sentences.

These are called subordinators. These should help you to add extra information to your simple
sentences. For instance: The old man scowled, before angrily leaving the room. The old man scowled,
even if you paid him a complement.
The great thing about subordinate clauses is that you can move them to different places in the sentence.
For instance: Before angrily leaving the room, the old man scowled. Even if you paid him a complement,
the old man scowled.
Task 3: Move the subordinate clause to the start of your sentences.
You can also add variety by writing compund sentences. Be careful though, both sentences that you link
with “and, but or because” suggest they are connected. For instance: The old man scowled and he is old.
The old man scowled because he is old. The old man scowled but he is old.
You can also add variety to your sentences by turning them into questions. For instance: Did the man
scowl? Is the man old?
Task 4: Write more sentences about the little girl. Use compound sentences and questions to give you
even more choices.

To get the highest mark, you need to make sentence choices on purpose. This means you choose a
sentence that has an impact on the way that the reader feels or the way the reader thinks.

Revision Activity:
3. Drill the skill, find a picture and write lots of
different sentences using different choices.
Look closely at this extract from The Iron Man by Ted hughes.

The Iron Man came to the top of the cliff. Here is a simple sentence.
Here are some questions.
How far had he walked? Nobody knows. Where did he come
from? Nobody knows. How was he made? Nobody knows.
Here is a complex sentence.
Taller than a house, the Iron Man stood at the top of the cliff, on
the very brink, in the darkness.
Here are complex sentences
The wind sang through his iron fingers. His great iron head, with lots of clauses.
shaped like a dustbin but as big as a bedroom, slowly turned to
the right, slowly turned to the left. His iron ears turned, this way, Here is a list, which is another
that way. He was hearing the sea. His eyes, like headlamps, form of question.
glowed white, then red, then infrared, searching the sea. Never
before had the Iron Man seen the sea.

He swayed in the strong wind that pressed against his back. He

swayed forward, on the brink of the high cliff.

And his right foot, his enormous iron right foot, lifted - up, out
into space, and the Iron Man stepped forward, off the cliff, into Here is a single word
nothingness. sentence, an exclamation,
which is accurate because it is
CRRRAAAASSSSSSH! an exclamation.

Down the cliff the Iron Man came toppling, head over heels.

CRASH!
Here is an incomplete
CRASH! sentence used for effect on
the reader – so accepted as
CRASH! accurate – done on purpose
by the writer.
From rock to rock, snag to snag, tumbling slowly. And as he
crashed and crashed and crashed.

Task 5: Go through the choices made by Ted Hughes. Explain the choices made by the writer and how
they impact on the reader.
Task 6: Write a paragraph about the little girl dancer. Use different types of sentences. Choose the
sentences to have an impact on the reader. Then, label your paragraph, explaining the reason you
chose the sentence.

Revision Activity:
4. Drill the skill, Write 100-word stories and then
label them, explaining your choices.
Creative Writing
Making word choices on purpose
Getting a good mark will rely a lot on your vocabulary. This is because good vocabulary is easier to spot
than other things in the mark scheme.
• To get a low mark you will have a small vocabulary that you use repetitively.
• To get a middle mark you will have a decent vocabulary, though some words will be out of place.
• To get a top mark you will have an excellent vocabulary but you know when to use a word to
have the most impact on the reader.

The difference between being good at using words and being excellent at using words is not about the
difficulty of the vocabulary. Sometimes using simple words is powerful. Complex words can often get in
the way of meaning. So, with words, it is all about CHOICE.
Your examiner will be able to see if you have a weak vocabulary if you keep using “really” and “very”. Is
something very good or really important? Is the person really happy and very angry? These are like
flashing lights in your work that you need to work on your vocabulary.
Look at this image:
Task 1: Write two paragraphs. In one paragraph use words in the “very” column. Then, rewrite the
paragraph using words in the other column. Read the two paragraphs out loud to someone. Ask them
which sounds the best.
There are words that you will use all the time as part of your vocabulary. Go through your English book
or History book, in particular. List the words you seem to use a lot, especially where you use really or
very. Words like good, nice, horrible, silly… where you might have used excellent, sweet, sadistic, idiotic.
Task 2: Look up the words that you use a lot in a thesaurus. Write down more appropriate words or
words that sound more intelligent that you could have used instead.
Tip: The bigger your vocabulary you have, the more intelligent you will become. When we have a lot of
words in our heads it is easier to explain to ourselves and to others what is happening and why it is
happening. Often when we say we don’t understand, we mean we don’t have the words to say what we
think. The best way to increase your vocabulary is to read books – no lies – it is really the only way.

This means that your first job with the picture to name the nouns in the picture is crucial. You need to
pick the right noun to name the item in the picture. Then, you need to consider the best adjective – but
most importantly the most effective verb.
Here are some nouns in the picture:
• Bridge
• River
• Dome
• Lights

Task 3: For each noun select an adjective that best helps you describe the noun. Look the adjective up
the thesaurus to see if there is a more effective adjective.
Task 4: For each noun phrase (noun + adjective) select an effective verb to complete the sentence.
Look the verb up in the thesaurus to see if there is a better verb available.
The more you do this, the more words you will be able to use. The words will come to you automatically
the more you look these up and the more you try to use these in sentences.

Revision Activity:
5. Drill the skill, find a picture and label nouns. Build these
nouns into sentences, finding adjectives and verbs. List lots
of adjectives and verbs to find the best ones.
Creative Writing
Using punctuation for effect
One of the simplest ways to make your writing effective is to use punctuation. This adds a tone of voice
to your writing and helps to give variety to your sentences.
Task 1: Do you know all the punctuation marks?
Name these punctuations marks:
! “” () ? : ; ‘ . , - …
To get a low mark you will need to use full stops and a few commas, maybe used incorrectly.
To get a middle mark you will use a range of punctuation, which tends to mean three or more pieces of
punctuation used accurately.
To get a high mark you will need to use the full range of punctuation, when it is effective and appropriate.

Whether you use a comma or not can completely change the meaning in a sentence, as this picture
shows you.
Task 2: Here is a sentence without punctuation. Write the sentence as many times as you can, using
different punctuation to change the meaning.
please get out of here you are not welcome call the police now
You can remove letters to include apostrophes. You cannot delete whole words.
Write a few sentences about the differences between the sentences you have written and the effect of
the change in punctuation.
Sometimes with punctuation less is more. Weak writers tend to use a lot of exclamation marks. This is a
way of insisting to the reader that this is shocking or surprising. Maybe it would be better if you didn’t
have to insist and it was actually shocking or surprising. The ellipses are also overused at times. Putting
ellipses at the end of paragraphs or at the end of a story is done when the writer wants to do the work
for them.
Task 3: Write a paragraph that is shocking and surprising. The problem is – you are banned from using
exclamation marks and ellipses. How are you going to use punctuation to get the effect you want with
more subtlety and more cleverly?

The time when you will want to use punctuation carefully is if you choose to write dialogue in your story.
Dialogue is difficult to get right. We all have different ways of speaking and we unknowingly use
punctuation to split up what we say.
Loud, over the top people use a lot of exclamation marks in the way they speak, even when they seem to
be asking questions. For instance, “Hello! So good to see you! What are you doing!”
Australians, for some reason, seem to end every send with a question mark. They always start answers
to questions with a word, followed by a comma. For instance: “Look, I don’t know why that happened?”
Arrogant people tend to speak in statements. They are unlikely to ask questions – because – well
because they know everything don’t they.

Task 4: Listen to people speak. Imagine the punctuation they would be using if punctuation appeared
above their head. You might find that people use a lot of – (dashes) when they speak.
If you are confident with punctuation, then dialogue is a great way to show off. If you are not confident,
then it is the easiest way to show your examiner that you are rubbish at punctuation. In other words, if in
doubt, leave dialogue out. The way to learn how to punctuate dialogue effectively is to look at an extract
from a book.
“No ice! No ice! No ice!” she shouted gaily.
And Dennis chimed in from under his hat. “Only to be had from the fishmonger’s.”
And Bill Hunt, emerging, added, “With whole fish in it.”
Oh, what a bore!” wailed Isabel. And she explained to William how they had been chasing round the town
for ice while she waited for him. “Simply everything is running down the steep cliffs into the sea,
beginning with the butter.”
“We shall have to anoint ourselves with butter,” said Dennis. “May thy head, William, lack not ointment.”
“Look here,” said William, “how are we going to sit? I’d better get up by the driver.”
“No, Bobby Kane’s by the driver,” said Isabel. “You’re to sit between Moira and me.”
Task 5: Count the number of different punctuation marks used to punctuate dialogue. Write some
dialogue that you have heard two people speaking. Punctuative it accurately.

Revision Activity:
6. Drill the skill, write lots of sentences with different
punctuation marks.
7. Use the internet to learn how to use a semi-colon. A semi-
colon used accurately is the sign of a sophisticated writer.