EZ STRESS BUSTER HANDOUT

What is stress? Stress is the numb sensation in your lips and face from drinking
out of a fire hose all week (all month? all year?). It is the hair trigger on your temper
that everyone you work with understands but your four- and six-year-olds are com-
pletely oblivious to . . . even when you do your best to give fair warning!
Stress is the exhaustion of the physiological systems that we use to pay atten-
tion, gather enough data, gather the right data, analyze it correctly, find the loop-
holes, plug the loopholes, make decisions, monitor their effectiveness, do it again,
deal with an unforeseeable crisis, start a new project, do it again, 24/7/365. These
kinds of expectations are completely unrealistic, and human beings are not built for
this kind of a race. We are, in fact, racing against our own technology, against ma-
chines that do not need to eat or sleep or throw a graduation party or visit parents in
a nursing home or love up the four- and six-year-old little rascals we think we’re
doing all this for.
Under conditions such as these, there are only three things you can do.
Well, four if you count collapse. You can use Reality Testing externally to chal-
lenge the expectations of the people whose unrealistic assessment of what’s val-
uable and what’s possible is causing the problem. If you are successful you may
well help create a more sustainable workplace in which people and profits can
both thrive. This is often a bit of a long shot, because usually those people have
invested heavily in the belief system that happiness is the result of consuming the
things that money can buy . . . and its really scary to call that—and consequently
all of our popular media—into question. But it’s usually hard to get their atten-
tion anyway, because they are just about to succeed and finally prove for certain
that they’re right . . . or they’re desperately scrambling to avoid some kind of
catastrophe.
If you don’t succeed in your challenge, you may be fired, or sidelined and
abused more than before, but then you can apply Option 2 and use your Reality
Testing internally to reprioritize your values and adjust your behavior and your dai-
ly and weekly and yearly schedules to align with them. You should be warned in
advance that reassessing what your core values are at any point in your life may be
a little disruptive and stressful in and of itself; however, the net result of such an
extreme makeover will be exceptionally worthwhile and may save you X number of
additional years of suffering your way down a path you really don’t want to be on.
Emotional Intelligence in Action, Second Edition. Copyright 2012 by Marcia Hughes and James
Bradford Terrell. Reproduced by permission of Pfeiffer, an Imprint of Wiley. www.pfeiffer.com
 Option 3 is that you can GET STRONG! At the physiological level, stress
tolerance results from a balance that allows us to shift between tension and relaxa-
tion in a sustainable rhythm so that our nerves and muscles and life-support systems
can rest, recharge, and provide resources for our bodies to deal with the typical
postmodern demands to process large amounts of complex data while under a great
deal of pressure to decode the meaning accurately, and then persuade other people
who are similarly stressed to do whatever it is we need them to do.
Stress impacts our muscle tension, connective tissue, skeletal structure, circu-
lation, respiration, nervous fatigue, and neurotransmitter balance, as well as more
obvious things like how we smell and how much fun we are to be with. The chemi-
cal byproducts of stress such as cortisol and the catecholamines can build up to
toxic levels that make it as uncomfortable inside our bodies as the high-pressure
situations we’re confronting on the outside. If they could be eliminated directly
through the urinary system we could just drink several beers, and that would be
that—but no such luck! It requires the significantly increased oxygen levels and
increased circulation that can only come from increased physical exertion.
That brings us to the real title of this exercise, “Stair Therapy.” Now don’t
start whining and act all discouraged. This is still an easy stress buster. It turns out
that if you work in an office with more than one floor, it’s actually a world-class
Olympic training facility in disguise—or at least a way you can easily take a big
bite out of stress on a several-times-a-day basis. It’s really not that hard; in fact it
soon becomes enjoyable, and every little bit helps!
If you’re really serious about feeling better and living longer, here’s all you
need: nothing. Just go climb two or three flights of stairs halfway between when
you arrive in the morning and when you go for lunch, and then again halfway be-
tween lunch and when you leave at night. Amen! Easy shmeazy! All done, no
excuses!
That’s the bare-bones version of the stress buster, but if you are a more self-
aware individual who wants something a little more sophisticated, for the interme-
diate level you need two additional things: a glass of water to drink when you’re
done and a joke book. Seriously, obtain a joke book—we suggest a clean joke book
because those writers have to understand the more complex aspects of human nature
better, so consequently they’re often funnier, but that’s up to you. Basically, you
need to laugh more. Laughter helps reduce cortisol and, much more importantly, it
makes life more enjoyable! So climb your two or three flights of stairs and drink
your water while you read five or ten jokes a couple times a day. They won’t all be

Emotional Intelligence in Action, Second Edition. Copyright 2012 by Marcia Hughes and James
Bradford Terrell. Reproduced by permission of Pfeiffer, an Imprint of Wiley. www.pfeiffer.com
funny, but some will be, and the neurotransmitters that you release while laughing
will help reset your synaptic potential so your nerves can fire harder and faster and
longer than they ever did before!
That’s a joke. We personally have little or no idea what you’re neurotransmit-
ters will do, but we do know that laughter is good for you and bad for stress, so find
a joke book or find some clean jokes online, climb some stairs, and have a drink (of
water!).
The advanced level includes all the intermediate steps plus this ancient dietary
secret from our Tibetan guru. Eat more fresh fruit and vegetables and less junk!
That’s not a joke! Eat them raw, because chewing crunchy stuff reduces stress. If
you don’t believe us, then you’re clearly not ready for the advanced level or, if you
want to try to prove us wrong, just try chewing celery and carrots and red bell pep-
per slices and cucumbers and see! One day we watched our guru chewing and
chewing a single bite for what seemed like half an hour. Finally, we asked him what
he was chewing. He spit out a mouthful of something. “Sand,” he said, wiping his
beard.
“But why are you chewing sand, Master?” we asked him. He looked at us
sternly and said quietly, “To practice chewing.”
Maybe we missed something by not trying that practice (maybe even enlight-
enment!), but since we didn’t try it, we can’t and don’t recommend it. Actually it
was Gil, our alternative health professional, who gave us the very best advice for
stress tolerance, and it kind of sounds like the way a guru would talk: Eat less, move
more!
Now get out there and bust some stress!

Emotional Intelligence in Action, Second Edition. Copyright 2012 by Marcia Hughes and James
Bradford Terrell. Reproduced by permission of Pfeiffer, an Imprint of Wiley. www.pfeiffer.com
PERSONALITY QUIZ HANDOUT
Complete the following statements by indicating whether they are true (always or
usually) or false (rarely or never) for you.

Statement True False

1. I see myself as competitive and driving. _____ _____

2. I hate to wait. _____ _____
3. I work best when I’m up against a deadline. _____ _____
4. I prefer to do more than one thing at a time. _____ _____
5. I am often angry with others, even though it may not
show. _____ _____
6. I become irritated with people who make mistakes _____ _____
7. I often feel I’m in a race against time. _____ _____
8. I set very high goals for myself, but I still get angry
when I don’t meet my goals. _____ _____

Emotional Intelligence in Action, Second Edition. Copyright 2012 by Marcia Hughes and James
Bradford Terrell. Reproduced by permission of Pfeiffer, an Imprint of Wiley. www.pfeiffer.com
SCORING SHEET
• If you have six to eight true answers, you may exhibit the behaviors of a
Type A personality.
• If you have four or five true answers, you are probably more prone to
Type B behavior that is balanced between the extremes of Type A and
Type C.
• If you have one to three true answers, you may be rather passive and tend
toward Type C behavior.

Emotional Intelligence in Action, Second Edition. Copyright 2012 by Marcia Hughes and James
Bradford Terrell. Reproduced by permission of Pfeiffer, an Imprint of Wiley. www.pfeiffer.com
’CAUSE YOU’VE GOT PERSONALITY HANDOUT
Think of a recent interaction with others in which you felt upset, impatient, or an-
gry. Answer the following questions about that experience.

1. How did your body feel?

2. If you felt any of the following symptoms, circle them: heart racing, sweating,
twitching, breathing hard, clenching your jaw or other part of body. Did you
experience other symptoms?

3. How would you characterize your thoughts about the situation? Rank them on
a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is the most forgiving and 10 is the most judg-
mental.
Emotional Intelligence in Action, Second Edition. Copyright 2012 by Marcia Hughes and James
Bradford Terrell. Reproduced by permission of Pfeiffer, an Imprint of Wiley. www.pfeiffer.com
 4. How did the situation work out? Were you able to reach a mutually agreeable
solution?

5. Did your responses increase or decrease the level of stress in that situation?

6. Select and practice one of the following methods for calming down and
relieving the pressure. Rehearse it several times in neutral situations with the
intention to apply it the next time you find yourself in a stressful situation:
• Take a deep-breathing break to release the impatience and anger. Clear
your mind and concentrate fully on your breathing. Inhale through
your nose slowly and deeply to a count of ten, expanding your lungs.
Exhale through your nose, slowly and completely to a count of ten,
contracting your chest.
• Even it you don’t feel it at the moment, act as if you have high regard
for the others involved in the situation. Behave as if you want to re-
solve the issue while treating the person with respect and dignity. Call
him or her by name, and make frequent eye contact.
• Follow another method of your own design.

Emotional Intelligence in Action, Second Edition. Copyright 2012 by Marcia Hughes and James
Bradford Terrell. Reproduced by permission of Pfeiffer, an Imprint of Wiley. www.pfeiffer.com
 7. Practice the behavior at least once and preferably twice a day for several
minutes and for several days to develop the habit and perfect the technique.

Emotional Intelligence in Action, Second Edition. Copyright 2012 by Marcia Hughes and James
Bradford Terrell. Reproduced by permission of Pfeiffer, an Imprint of Wiley. www.pfeiffer.com
DEEP CENTER BREATHING HANDOUT
According to Candace Pert (2000), a leading neuroscience researcher, people who
have lived in the developed world all their lives have over ninety industrial chemi-
cals present in their bodies. Over 70 percent of our bodies’ waste by-products are
eliminated through our breathing and our skin. Blood, which is fully oxygenated,
removes more toxins from our bodies at the cellular level and makes it more diffi-
cult for viruses and bacteria to grow in our bodies.
Deep Center Breathing is a powerful stress reduction technique that supports
muscle growth and supplies the brain and body the energy they need. It can also
help to relieve muscular tension and alleviate stress. Although it is simple, its value
should not be underestimated! Patterns of shallow or incomplete breathing do not
give the body enough oxygen, which in itself can cause stress and fatigue due to the
toxic build-up of carbon dioxide. These kinds of breathing patterns are often learned
and repeated unconsciously. Until some sort of conscious breathing technique such
as Deep Center Breathing is employed, most people never discover the natural pow-
er of their breath. So enjoy!

Deep Center Breathing

Sitting comfortably in your chair; observe your breathing. Notice which parts of
your body move with your breath; notice how often you inhale, and how deeply.
Now spread your hands across your stomach, with your thumbs just under
your ribs.
Shift your breathing out of your chest down and into your belly.
Feel your lower abdomen swell as the air inflates your lungs. As you exhale,
feel your abdomen shrink and grow softer.
Now draw in your abdominal muscles and empty the remaining air from your
lungs. Again, feel the difference.
Now breathe in this fashion for the next three minutes, inhaling slowly to a
count of four and then slowly exhaling to the same count. After you have the hang
of it, just let your hands relax comfortably in your lap. Notice what happens to your
heart rate. How is it different when you inhale compared to when you exhale? After
three minutes, return to normal breathing. Notice what you’re thinking. Notice what
you’re feeling.

Emotional Intelligence in Action, Second Edition. Copyright 2012 by Marcia Hughes and James
Bradford Terrell. Reproduced by permission of Pfeiffer, an Imprint of Wiley. www.pfeiffer.com
 Do this exercise two or three times throughout the day, especially when you
feel tired, or spacey, or upset. You can also do a longer version in which you build
up time gradually by adding another minute every day until you reach fifteen or
twenty minutes. For an additional stretch, try holding your breath for four counts
when your lungs are full and again for four counts when they are empty, creating a
four-part breathing pattern.

REFERENCE
Pert, C. (2000). Your body is your subconscious mind. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.

Emotional Intelligence in Action, Second Edition. Copyright 2012 by Marcia Hughes and James
Bradford Terrell. Reproduced by permission of Pfeiffer, an Imprint of Wiley. www.pfeiffer.com