I woke up this morning with my eyes heavy and my head spinning.
Startled by the piercing
ringing of my alarm, I jolted out of bed, annoyed. The nightmare from before still had me
shook. 8.50am, the clock read. My class started at 9 and I was still in my pyjamas. Quicker
than the speed of light, I rushed to get ready- brushing my teeth furiously and stuffing all my
belongings in my bag. Once done, I grabbed everything and left, with my heart palpitating
from the adrenaline, or was it anxiety? As I brisk-walked to the bus stop, one, I realised I left
my homework on my table and two, my bus just departed. What a great start to the
morning right?
Tutorial was a mess. Throughout the lesson, I completely zoned out while the professor
went on and on about eigenvalues and stuff I can’t even remember now. Without my work,
I was completely useless anyways. I’ve never felt happier when the clock stroke 10.30am
and we were free to go. That was until my friend said something along the lines of “Have
you started studying for the test this Saturday? I’m only at extra practice 3 now and I can’t
seem to figure out the recursion question in challenge 2.” OH no. I had completely forgotten
about the exam. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool. I could still manage that. Just start
mugging from today I guess.
When I got back, I was ready to start cramming my brain with confusing syntaxes and
functions. Feeling motivated and focused, I opened my laptop and planner, ready to start
afresh and get the bread. But what I saw made me shut the planner tight. I had a proposal
due today and 3 assignments due soon (which I should probably be working on already). I
felt the anxiety and panic settle in, as my mind calculated the probability of me being utterly
screwed. 100% with a tinge of fucked. I was stressed and depressed, but at least I was well-
dressed right? Nope.
I was crippling with deadlines and I didn’t know how to handle. On one hand, I couldn’t
concentrate to study for my exam, but then, I was also too worried to do the other stuffs. I
thought I was really, thoroughly, utterly screwed. It was right at this moment when I heard
shuffling outside my door. Knock, knock, knock. My first thoughts were “oh man, I really
don’t have time for this”, but as I dragged my feet over to the door, looking through the
peephole, my heart deadass melted then and there. My friends came to visit me and they
brought me my favourite earl grey milk tea, 50% sugar with white pearls. The minute I
welcomed them into my room, the lingering anxiety obviously reflected on my face turned
into a genuine smile. In that moment, I felt so touched and loved. They had noticed how
stressed I was recently and decided to surprise and encourage me. “Don’t worry too much,
you got this”, “It’s okay, if you need any help just ask me ah”. All my worries vanished, and
once again, I felt at ease and in control of my actions. Although it wasn’t much, just knowing
that they’re here for me made me feel better. I really freaking love my friends so much.
Even though I’m still a 100% fucked, at least I have friends right? That’s something to be
happy about. Chaotic, but neat.
