IAN GUPTA

Mrs. Ryer is on Fire!

A disaster to a double disaster.
 Copyright © 2020 by Ian Gupta

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 Contents

1 The Announcement 1
2 Mrs. Ryer 3
3 A Plan? 5
4 Slick and Spy 6
5 Talk 7
6 Fire! 8
7 To the rescue! 9
 1

The Announcement

My name is A.P. and I hate school. I wish we already have

everything in our heads. And don’t get me started about math.
Well, it was a Wednesday and Mr. Mallow came running into
the room. But then he tripped on the trash can and went flying.
The next thing everybody knew, Mr. Mallow was sitting there
smashed into the windowsill. “Are you OK?” asked Cecil, this
annoying girl. “I bet he’s fine.” Said Alex, who never ties his
shoes. “I agree with Alex.” Said Finn, who will anything, even
stuff that isn’t food. “That’s not nice, Boys!” said Cecil. “I’m
fine,” said Mr. Mallow as he got up. I wanted to shout I TOLD
YOU at Cecil, but I knew now probably wasn’t the best time.
“Anyway,” said Mr. Mallow “let’s get to math. Turn to page 23
in your math books-” He never got the time to finish he sentence
because an announcement came over the loudspeaker. “Please
report to Weird Hall for a surprise assembly.” “Ooh” we all
went. “Okay everyone, line up!” said Mr. Mallow. We all lined
up single file and walked a million hundred miles to the Weird
Hall. Or at least it felt like a million hundred miles. When we
got there, I had to sit next to Cecil. Ugh. “Ooh!” said Alex and

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Finn. “A.P. and Cecil are sitting next to each other. When are
you gonna get married?” I those guys weren’t my best friends,
I would hate them. Mr. Klutz was making the Shut Up Peace
Sign at us. We all got quiet. “I made a decision last week to hire
someone from the local fire department to teach you about fire
safety. Please welcome my old friend…” We all got super quiet.
You could hear a pin drop. “Mrs. Ryer!”

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 2

Mrs. Ryer

A young lady walked up on stage. “It great to be here, Mr. Klutz.”

said Mrs. Ryer. “Great to see you here. Can you teach the kids
fire safety?” said Mr. Klutz. “Sure!” “What do you do when
you have fire on your shirt. I raised my hand before Cecil could.
Na-Na-Boo-Boo on her! “OK” said Mrs. Ryer. “Run around and
blow it out!” I said. “No, dumbhead!” Said Cecil. “You should
drop, stop, and roll.” “I knew that” I lied. “Exactly, Cecil!” Said
Mrs. Ryer. Why can’t a truck full of fire land on her head.

After the assembly, we walked back to our classroom. “OK” said

Mr. Mallow. “Turn to page 23 in your -” He didn’t get the chance
to finish, because you’ll never believe who walked through the
door. Nobody! You can’t walk through a door! But you’ll never
believe who walked through the doorway. It was Mrs. Ryer! Well
obviously! The name of this book is Mrs. Ryer is on fire! “What
do we owe the pleasure of your company?” said Mr. Mallow.
(That’s grown-up talk for WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?)
“I thought I might stop by and teach the kids more about fire.”
said Mrs. Ryer. “I give up. I’ll be in the teacher’s lounge if you

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 MRS. RYER IS ON FIRE!

need me.” Said Mr. Mallow.

“OK.” said Mrs. Ryer. Then she did the weirdest thing in the
history of the world. She pulled a ladder over to the other side
of the room. Well, that’s not the weird part. People pull ladders
to the other side of the room all the time. But what she did next
was the weirdest thing in the history of the world. She climbed
up the ladder and took a match out of her pocket. I guess she
dropped one because it landed on my head. I decided to put it
on my desk for later use, just in case. Then she lit the match on
fire. “Watch out!” yelled Alex. “This is how smoke detectors
work.” she yelled over our screams. Then the machine started
beeping. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! “Turn it off, turn it
off!” we all yelled! “OK fine,” said Mrs. Ryer. Then she ripped
the machine off the wall. “I’ll just take the batteries out.” she
said. But it didn’t stop beeping! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
BEEP! BEEP! Then she did the weirdest thing in the history of the
world! She smashed it on the floor. It shattered into a thousand
pieces. But it didn’t stop beeping! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Then she smashed it even more. Smash! Smash Smash! Smash!
Smash! Finally it stopped beeping. The thing was shattered into
a bazillion pieces all over the floor. Mrs. Ryer was sweating.
It looked like she just jumped in a pool. She just walked away
without saying anything.

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 3

A Plan?

When it was time for lunch, we walked to the cafeteria. I had a

ham sandwich, Alex had a Ham Sandwich and Finn had a Ham
Sandwich. All the girls sat at the other table. “Hey” I said. “Do
you think Mrs. Ryer is really from the fire department? Maybe
she’s just s fake! To burn the whole school down!” “I have an
idea!” said Finn. “Let’s spy on Mrs. Ryer, and see who she really
is!” “Great Idea!” We all said. Finn should get the No Bell Peace
prize for that idea. That’s a reward they give to people who don’t
have bells. I’m not gonna tell you what we did. Okay, okay. I
will, but you need to read the next chapter!

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 4

Slick and Spy

We slicked down the halls like secret agents. “This is so cool!”

said Alex. “Look! There she is!” I whispered. We followed
behind her. “She’s going into the teachers’ lounge!” The
teacher’s lounge is where the teachers get free massages and
a hot tub. I saw Mr. Mallow in there, but I didn’t see any hot
tubs. We looked through the window. Mrs. Ryer was doing the
things that I think all teachers do. Getting a cup of coffee. “She
doesn’t look that suspicious,” I said. “Quick! She’s coming!
Hide!” said Finn. We ducked next to the door. “That was close!”
Said Alex. “We need to find a better way to spy on her.” That’s
when I got the greatest idea in the history of the world. “Let’s
ask Mr. Klutz! He hired her. Right?” I said. “A.P., that’s genius!
Let’s hurry over to Mr.Klutz’s office before anyone besides Mr.
Klutz knows what we’re doing!” Said Alex. Nobody tells me
when I’m a genius. “What’s a genius again?” I asked. “Never
mind,” said Alex.

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 5

Talk

Once we arrived at Mr. Klutz’s office, we told him what we are

doing. “I see,” he said once heard the story. “Well, she did say
she was from the local fire department.” He said.

Mr. Klutz was pretty useless.

We headed back to our classroom, disappointed that we didn’t

find anything. Then, I suddenly remembered that I still had a
match on my desk from when Mrs. Myer was showing us how
to… smash smoke detectors into a bazillion pieces. I told Alex
and Finn. “Yeah but what can we do with that?” asked Alex. “I
don’t know, I guess I’ll just play with it.” I said. “Be careful
with matches, A.P.” Finn said. “I know” I replied. I went over to
my desk and started playing with it. I rubbed it against my desk.
That when the most incredible thing in the history of the world
happened. I’m not gonna tell you. Okay, okay. I’ll tell you, but
you need to read the next chapter!

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 6

Fire!

The title of this chapter probably gave it off. It started a fire!

“My desk is on fire!” I shouted. Everybody started hooting a
hollering and screaming and freaking out. “We’re all gonna
die!” yelled this kid. “No, we’re not you idiot!” somebody else
yelled. This was a total disaster. Mr. Klutz and everybody came
into the room. Then I had an idea. Over the sound of screaming
and fire crackling, I yelled “Get Mrs. Myer!”.

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To the rescue!

Mr. Mallow went to look for Mrs. Myer. He came back a few
minutes later with her. “What in the name of fire is this?” She
yelled. Then she fainted. This couldn’t get any worse. There
was a raging fire in our classroom and the only experienced
firefighter in the room fainted. Mr. Klutz called the fire
department. A few seconds later, we heard sirens outside. They
arrived. A few minutes later the fire was out, and my desk was
burned. “We’ll get a new desk” said Mr. Klutz. Then Mrs. Myer
came back to life. She congratulated me. Well, that’s pretty
much what happened!

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