The Top 7 Signs Of Self-Sabotaging Behaviors (And What To Do About Them)
By Dr. Robert Anthony
Having trouble reaching all your goals? Are you going for what you want, but feeling like
something is road-blocking the way? Are you finding yourself “not” doing some of the things
you know you should be doing?
You may be a victim of sabotage---self-sabotage. How do you know, and what can you do
about it? Read on and see.
1. Focusing on what is not working, not right or missing from your life...
Problem: Notice how often you speak about and think about what is not working, not right, or
missing from your life. This only attracts more of the things you don’t want.
Action: Ask yourself a new question: "What's going right?" or "What IS working?" Begin to
notice all the things, no matter how small, that are working well. Keep an evidence journal
and each day write down everything, I do mean everything, that is working and you will
attract more of what is working!
2. Being stuck in fear...
Problem: Do you worry a lot about the future and what is going to happen or might happen?
Are you thinking about your fears so much that you are paralyzed and take no action
because of fear of what might occur?
Action: It is time to put your focus on the present. We can't control or predict the future or
other people's behaviors. All we can control is our own, right here, right now.
Ask yourself the question "What is the worst thing that could happen?" Then, let go and
know that rarely do the scenarios we create in our heads occur. Take a moment to put things
into perspective by writing down the things you can not change, the things you want to
change, and accept that the Universe, God, Spirit, whatever you call it will take of the rest. It
always does!
3. Feeling you have no value...
Problem: Do you forget all your accomplishments and lack pride in who you are and what
you have accomplished? If you obsess about the past or your lack of success or lack of
achievement, then you'll be stuck in noticing how much you lack as a person. If you often
criticize yourself or can't accept compliments, it’s a definite sign that you have fallen into this
trap.
Action: You can choose to notice what you do that is good and the things you can be proud
of, no matter how small they may seem. Each day keep a log of what you are grateful for
about YOU. When you hear your mind chattering about what you haven't done right or well,
turn down the volume and turn up the volume to hear the voice that knows the TRUTH about
who you are and how you add value to the world.
Acknowledge yourself for at least 5 things each and every day that you did well. Each day,
compliment yourself on something you did that you feel good about. Notice your small
successes and accept the compliments others give you.
4. Comparing yourself to others...
Problem: Do you constantly compare yourself to others and then feel badly when compared
to them? Comparison doesn't motivate us to do more or be better, instead it makes us feel
we'll never be good enough and we aren't right now.
Action: Write out the 5 qualities you like best about yourself. Then write out what you value
most in your life. When you go to a place of comparison, notice how similar you are with the
other person vs. what is different. Begin to create a list of adjectives that describe you - at
least 25 positive words about your greatness. Whenever you notice yourself in a comparison
mode, think of some of the adjectives that describe YOU.
5. Self-Sabotage – getting what you want and then losing it...
Problem: Do you not believe that you deserve to have what you want? When you get what
you want, why do you often lose it or mess it up? What is the true story underneath - maybe
that you think aren't good enough to have it?
Action: List all the things you have accomplished that faded away. Simply notice these
things, but don’t place any judgment on the fact they disappeared. How did they bring you
satisfaction? How did they make you feel? What is the limiting belief that you have that tells
you inside why you can't have what you want? Be quiet, be still and listen to it.
Write down how you felt when you had what you wanted. Write down how you feel now,
without it. Then write a "bridge belief": A very, very small belief that feels a little bit better
than what you now feel. Each week, create a new bridge belief, not matter how small, that
you can really believe. By using these bridges as stepping-stones, you'll shift your limiting
beliefs slowly and be on the other side of the bridge and able to maintain it because you will
have a new belief inside of you.
6. You chase away relationships...
Problem: Do you always feel something is missing in your relationships or find fault with the
other person? Perhaps you are afraid of intimacy. Underneath this is usually a fear of
abandonment or exposure that causes you to distance yourself from others.
Action: Create a list of the qualities you value in a relationship and the qualities you want to
attract in your partners. Express what you want and don't want to the other person and allow
them to express the same to you. Create time to acknowledge the other person on a regular
basis. Notice when you feel afraid. Don't try to push the feelings away. Know that the
feelings are there and that is fine. Then, in that moment, focus on what feels good about the
relationship.
7. Having no purpose...
Problem: Do you feel you have no purpose in life? We all have some purpose for being on
the planet and it is time to notice yours.
Action: Write down all the things that are important to you – the thing you want to create in
your life. Then write out what you want to contribute to the world. From your writing, create a
statement of purpose for yourself that you can read each and every day.
Then stop worrying about not knowing your purpose and start creating what you desire now.
It doesn’t matter what you want in the future. So start creating something you want in your
life NOW. This action will ultimately put you in alignment and bring you closer to your overall
purpose.
