Love Marriage Vs.
Arranged Marriage
Whenever we talk of Indian wedding we try to equate it with arrange
marriages. In India the social structure is such that we associate Indian
marriages mainly with arrange marriages. Most of us have the feelings that
arrange marriage is the concept of Indian society. But history tells us that
arranged marriages use to happen even in the Victorian age. The history of
England tells us that most of the kings and queens had arranged marriages. In
India arrange marriages originated when child marriages was customary in the
country. Caste system gave birth to arrange marriages, as the upper caste
families didn't want their children to marry outside their community and caste.
The concept of love marriage was a taboo in ancient India as India always had a
tradition of arranged marriages. But after World War II and industrial
revolution people's perception started changing and they became familiar with
the concept of love marriages. In India the influence of the British culture gave
rise to love marriages. The idea, which was once a taboo, became more open
and acceptable in the Indian society. But this change was seen only among the
educated and high society Indians. The rural parts of the country remained
ignorant and unaware of love marriages. In spite of the social changes arranged
marriage persisted.
Love or arranged marriages is still a debatable topic in the Indian society.
People still debate on the issue, which one is better. What should be the basis of
the marriage love or social norms? We are still confused about these issues.
Education and media played a vital role in changing the perception of the Indian
mind. As people started thinking beyond the social customs and traditions of
arranged marriages. They realized that they have the right to choose their life
partner without any kind of social pressure. It is after all their life. They can
decide without having to rely on parents, relatives and matchmakers. This
change in the mental set up of the people gave birth to love marriages. Now in
India people are open to love marriages. It is no more forbidden in the society.
In our country we are having both love and arranged marriages. If we start
comparing love and arranged marriages we will see that both has certain pros
and cons. But the common factor in both the concept is physical attraction.
When a man and a woman go out on their first date physical attraction is the
deciding factor. Same in case of arranged marriage where the relation starts
only after the girl or boy likes each other. But there are certain things, which
are found in love marriages and not in arranged. Like spending time together
and getting to know each other. Because when you have decided to spend the
life together it is important you know the person. There should be metal
compatibility and understanding among both of you. And this happens when you
spend time together. On this people may argue that even after knowing each
other for so long than why people get divorced after marriage. It is because
when two people are in love they are at their best to impress each other. They
behave, they talk and they wear what the other person likes. But it is after
marriage that you get to know the real person. There are couples who are still
discovering each other even after twenty years of their marriage. This is the
actual beauty of a relationship where everyday you discover a new thing about
your partner.
In case of arranged marriages the relation starts when the girl and the
boy get to know each other in a couple of meeting before the final commitment.
Before deciding anything the parents check the family background and financial
stability. Which is also very important. As most of the people have an idea that
those who go for arranged marriages are not in an advantageous position but
it's not so you may get the right person for whom you have been waiting. Even
in love marriages after many years of courtship people find their partner not
suitable and they break up. So it is not about spending time together but
successful marriage is all about understanding and respecting each other's
feelings, love and concern. It is argued that love marriages offer more
independence and freedom as compared to arranged marriages since both of
them knows each other so the social pressure and family pressure is less. If you
know somebody before marriage it allows partners to have better respect and
understanding for each other's needs and desires. In love marriages
expectations are more compared to arrange marriages, as they know each other
and want their partner to act in the best possible manner.
Arranged marriages, offer more protection, security to the women. As the
parents decides the family. Parents make use of maturity and wise decision
while choosing suitable spouses for their children. The mature decision of
parents sometimes helps to make the right choice. But it doesn't mean that
arranged marriages are ideal marriages. Even in an arranged marriage there is a
different sort of social pressure. Social evils like dowry, caste system, matching
of horoscopes and community issues are taken at such extreme levels that
people don't support arranged marriages. So whether it is love or arranged
ultimately it is up to the individual to decide, which one to go for. Love or
arranged both is based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and
concern. So it's not just about initial love and attraction it needs a lot of
dedication and effort to sustain a marriage. So there is nothing like an ideal
marriage it's all about the way you perceive your marriage. After all you should
be happy with your life partner irrespective of love or arranged marriage.
