What I’ve Learned the wisdom of modern man

featuring

Robert De Niro
WITH

samuel l. jackson
hassan hatrash
andy shallal
SULAIMAN LAYEQ
colin firth
Nasif Kayed
seth macfarlane
geOrge H.w. Bush (and Barbara)
ALI AL AHMED
AND

ROBERT DUVALL

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f e b r u a r y 2 0 11 esquire 87
 ROBERT
DE NIRO
ICON, 67, NEW YORK

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T
hose who say don’t know. Those who know don’t say. That holds up over time. interviewed by
CAL FUSSMAN
So does: if you don’t go, you’ll never know. I tell that to my kids. october 26, 2010
Ten years seems only a few years ago.
If it’s the right chair, it doesn’t take too long to get comfortable in it. photographS by
NIGEL PARRY
Italy has changed. But Rome is Rome.
We made a rubber wall for the jail scene in Raging Bull. It was hard rubber foam.
Smashing your head into a real wall wouldn’t have been possible. You’ve got to do it till you’re happy.
I’d like to look at all of my movies once just to do it — just to see what it makes me think, to see what the pattern was.
But with all the movies I’ve been in, that would mean watching two or three a day for a month. I don’t know
where I’d get the time.
If Marty wanted me to do something, I would consider it very seriously even if I wasn’t interested.
My definition of a good hotel is a place I’d stay at.
If I remember correctly, there were not many sequels at the time. The Godfather was one of the first [to have one]. So we didn’t
think about sequels the way we do now. I remember seeing the entire street between Avenue A and Avenue B converted into
the early Twentieth century. The storefronts, the insides of the stores. The size of it was incredible. You knew what you were
doing was ambitious.
I’ll always be indebted to Francis.
When I did The Deer Hunter, I thought, Thailand is such an interesting place. I’ll be back soon. But I didn’t get back for
something like eighteen years.
Everybody can criticise. But at the end of the day, you know Obama’s intentions are in the right place. You should’ve done this.
You should stand up for this more than that. The president’s got to deal with that every moment. Imagine what it would be
like with all the different forces coming at you, having to compromise, to weigh the consequences of one decision as opposed
to another. It’s tricky. Come to think of it, it’s kind of like being a director.
I always tell actors when they go in for an audition: Don’t be afraid to do what your instincts tell you. You may not get the part,
but people will take notice.
If you don’t do it the right way now, it’ll never be what it should be — and it’s there forever.
It’s always the same old story — the fine line between the money and quality. Do we have to spend this for this? Well, yeah,
because if we don’t…
If there’s a shortcut taken when you’re building a hotel, people are going to notice and feel cheated out of something. It’s kind
of like a movie: cumulatively, all the shortcuts and cheats take away from the texture.
Sometimes if you have financial restraints, it’s a benefit. It forces you to come up with a more creative way.
I just go to the theatre. Nobody bothers me. I don’t even get recognised. I do it a certain way.
Couldn’t get into the IMAX 3-D Avatar.
As long as you’ve got kids, there’s gonna be a problem.
I don’t know if I’ve been taught anything by my kids. But things are revealed to me. They unfold. Now you’re a grandfather.
And your kids are giving you advice. It’s interesting when your kids give you advice. I had a conversation with my oldest son
the other day. He was saying, “You should do this… and this… and this.” Not that I agreed with him on everything. But it was
a good feeling.
You get older, you get more cautious. Situations come up that you’ve been through and you can see where they’re gonna go.
Good advice can save you a little aggravation.
I just had my twins here. They’re fifteen. When I was a teenager, there were less restrictions than I put on my kids. But I know
those restrictions are important. Yet they have to have room. It’s a delicate balance. You say, I survived it. How could they?
And yet they do. With a little luck.
I might laugh more now than when I was younger. I’m less judgmental.
It takes a lot for me to give one of my father’s paintings as a gift.
I’ve kept my father’s studio for the last seventeen years — since he passed away. I’ve kept it just about the way it was. At one
point I was thinking of letting it go. Then I had a gathering of family and friends — you know, to see it for the final time.
Videotape it. But I realised it’s different in person than it is on video. It’s another experience. So I’ve held on to it.
Be brave, but not reckless.
No matter what Marlon did he was always interesting. Shows you how primitive things used to be: we set up a tripod to
videotape Marlon’s scenes in the screening room at Paramount so I could study his movements. I watched it on a reel-to-reel.
Marlon and I never talked about our performances in The Godfather. What was he going to say? We knew each other. I spent time
on his island with him. But you don’t talk about acting. You talk about anything but acting. I guess the admiration is unspoken.
Yeah, you can make new friends. I recently met a couple of people that are a lot younger than me. It’s a nice thing.
Some people understand what it is to create something special, and others are thinking what they can get out of it.
I’m not going to read all the books I want to read. I might like to do things that are more retiring. Like sit in a place and just
look at the view. Take a nice walk. Have a coffee. But not retire. As long as I’m enjoying what I’m doing, why retire?
You go through a lot of different phases in life. I used to have dessert all the time as a kid. Now I don’t eat dessert much.
Except when I’m in special restaurants and I tell myself, Well, I’m here, I have to have the dessert.
Now is now. Then is then. And the future will be what the future will be. So enjoy the moment while you’re in it. Now is a
great time.

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 What I’ve Learned

I
never asked for anything except a purple
lightsaber. George said, “Well, lightsabers are
either red or green.” I said, “Yeah, but I would
like a purple one.”
I was raised to be cautious. I went to work with
my grandfather, who cleaned office buildings

hassan and furnaces, and there would be twenty-

year-old guys callin’ him Ed, and he called

hatrash
’em Mister. My grandfather was this old guy,
very dignified, but he never looked ’em in the eye.
He’d look at me like, “Turn your head down! Don’t
writer, look the white men in the eye ’cause they’ll think
photographer, you being uppity or arrogant.” Now the name of my
musician, 37, production company is Uppity.
Jeddah I was the crackhead in Jungle Fever. I was two weeks
out of rehab. I’d been smoking cocaine for a year
and a half, two years, and I understood the nature
I spent eleven years as reporter for the Saudi Gazette and
Arab News, and I was a stringer for many international media
of the disease. I had done the research. So when I
firms during that time. Now I’m a freelance photojournalist, started talking to Spike [Lee] about it, I said, “You
filmmaker and musician. The bottom line is, as with so many don’t see him high that much. You always see him
others like me, I’m a survivor. when he needs something. He’s on a mission to get
Jeddah is addictive. It’s vibrant and it always surprises you with some s***. That’s what I wanna do.” And that was my
a new underground lifestyle. breakthrough. That got me into Hollywood. It was
Saudi Arabia’s culture is unknown to most of the world, and it the perfect marriage of experience and opportunity.
has been stereotyped by the media. There is more to it than
I don’t understand how people live without creating.
meets the eye in terms of cultural and social diversity.
It deserves more attention. You know? I don’t know how you do just one picture
Believe it or not, we have the fewest restrictions in the Arab a year.
world when it comes to journalism. The freedom of press has When they killed Kennedy, black people were thinking,
dramatically evolved throughout the last ten years and those Oh, my God, white people are gonna come down and
boundaries were pushed and widened by the media itself. kill us all today! All the rights that Kennedy gave us
I never liked politics, it just doesn’t compute in my mind. are going away! So they sent us home from school and
I concentrate on stories that could help fix things in reality. said, “Stay in the house.”
Saudi Arabia is certainly heading towards more openness
I wasn’t one of those people that was gonna walk
at all levels. Many youngsters have studied abroad thanks
to government grants. They will surely come back with around and get spat on and get slapped and not fight
more open minds and new ideas that will lead to a better back. We were doing some crazy things, like stealing
developed society. people’s credit cards and
I can’t be stereotyped. I’ve had different experiences compared interviewed by buying guns with ’em. And
to most guys of my generation. I’ve lived abroad a lot since john h. richardson
because of that, some FBI
childhood and this path led to making me who I am today. people showed up at my
Do I feel like an outsider? I’m generally an outsider to this whole photograph by
marco grob mom’s house in Tennessee
world order.
I can’t say that I haven’t considered leaving. But then again,
and told her she needed
if I and others like me leave, who would help create change? to get me out of the South or I was either gonna be
Besides I love my city. It carries all my good memories. locked up or killed. So she came to Atlanta and took
I’d love to see the eradication of corruption. It’s a phenomenon me to the airport and put me on a plane for L. A.
that is fought by the government, but it is still increasing in a When I came to New York, it was bubbling.
frightening rate. We watched each other, we encouraged each
Religion is a vast word. I consider myself a believer by trying to other, we went to auditions together, we rode trains
be a good human as much as I can.
together, and every Monday we had great parties.
It irritates me when people link Saudi Arabia to oil, religion and
terrorism. None of these elements can be linked to one country But it was also a time of, you know, drugs.
or race; they are things that can happen anywhere. A country All of a sudden, Morgan’s gone. Boom. Then Denzel’s
is measured by its culture, art and social behaviour. Those are gone. The opportunities were there, but I was just
the things that evolve throughout history and become the never prepared because I was a little bit off, you
identifying label of a society. know? And then when I finally got it together —
Music is the purest language that is understood by all boom! It just happened.
living creatures. It can always touch your soul. Music is the
I always wanted to do a big pirate picture.
language I feel comfortable talking and is the sound I feel
I haven’t had a drug dream in ten or twelve years.
happy to hear.
My tombstone is going to say: Here lies a misunderstood man All of a sudden, I had one, like, two weeks ago.
who misunderstood life.

Interview: orlando crowcroft. photograph: hassan hatrash

90 esquire f e b r u a r y 2011
samuel. L
jackson
actor, 62, new york

Even in the dream, you’re hiding

s*** from people! People that you
know pop up in the dream and you
got this big-ass ball of cocaine in your
hand and you stick it behind your back
and go, “Yeah, I’m alright.” And then
you wake up and you feel as bad as if
you’d actually done it.
I went to the movies a lot when I was
a kid. That was my joy. Saturday
mornings, my mom kicked me out of
the house, I went to the movies at nine
in the morning and watched cartoons
and serials and the double-feature horror
picture, and then I would meet her later
for the adult stuff. So I love movies that
way. So I’ll do a movie like Snakes on a
Plane, and I’ll do a film that’s very serious.
And I’ll do a comedy, because it’s there.
I’ve never been to jail. I’ve never been
arrested. I’ve never been locked up. I’m a
good son, a good father, a good husband —
I’ve been married to the same woman for
thirty years. I’m a good friend. I finished
college, I have my education, I believe in
education, I donate money anonymously. So when
people criticise the kind of characters that I play
onscreen, I go, “You know, that’s part of a story.”
I wanna be a scratch golfer for at least one month in my
golf career. That’s all I want.
My dad was an absentee dad, so it was always important
to me that I was part of my daughter’s life, and
she deserved two parents, which is part of what
informs us staying married for thirty years.
’Cause everybody has a chance to say, “F*** it,”
and walk away, you know? But you also have a
chance to say, “Okay, f*** it, I’m sorry.” Even if
you’re not.
I haven’t done a western yet.

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 What I’ve Learned

Anas “Andy”
Shallal
Activist / social entrepreneur / green businessman, 55, Washington DC

Y
ou need to adapt to your environment. My formative years were filled with upheaval. My diplomatically trained
father held the post of Arab League Ambassador, and in 1966 our entire family decamped to the U.S. from
Baghdad. Saddam Hussein’s rise to power then ruled out a return home, and we were forced to put down
permanent roots in America, even though everything was strange and new.
I’m a rebel and a rule breaker. My wife Marjan is Iranian and we met during the Iraq-Iran War. Some people
made comments but I didn’t care. I wanted to show people there was a different way to the enmity of the time.
A business that is not grounded in social justice and community is a business not worth having.  I can’t imagine
doing it just for the money. I think you should dream big and act small. Very successful entrepreneurs rarely start an
enterprise to make money. Yet most of them do. 
Sometimes in life you need to take risks. My father’s diplomatic career was suddenly over when he was forty-two.
So what did he do? He bought a pizza parlour and made a good life for himself and his family here. He taught me that to
get ahead you’ve often got to be brave and take a leap of faith.
Having regrets in life is pointless. I’m happy at my life’s journey, but even if I wasn’t, it’s meaningless trying to change
things that can’t be changed. You just have to learn from you mistakes and move onwards. I tell my kids to take the
worst part of themselves and work on it — that’s the best way to improve one’s character and forge ahead.
Ignorance and mistrust can be dangerous. My early years in Iraq and the U.S. taught me how crucial it is to keep
breaking down social barriers. I learned that giving people of all backgrounds a place to come together, engage in
dialogue and develop relationships and mutual understanding is very important.
I hate the sight of blood. In 1987, I bailed on a career in medicine to open a restaurant with my older brother, Tony.
From there it was a natural progression to the opening of the first Busboys and Poets in 2005. Busboys and Poets is
a real labour of love. It’s a culmination of all my passions under one roof — a restaurant, bookstore and performance
space with a progressive political agenda.
Many Americans have a false sense of democracy. Don’t get me wrong — I love America and espouse its values, but
when those values get trampled on I get upset. For better or worse, big business drives the U.S. and the little guy or
the environment often loses out. I’ve learned that giving people the forum to speak out about injustice, be it in my
restaurant over soup, or in an organised debate, or even via a blog, is the best way to preserve those American values.
Restaurant owners can be social engineers. Working in my father’s pizza joint taught me the gratification that comes
from filling a need in the local community. As my career as a restaurateur developed, I realised I could play an
important role in bringing people together. Good food leads to good conversation.
We have a peace deficit in the U.S. We cannot continue to resolve problems by bombing and waging invasions and wars.
Iraq and Afghanistan have proved that.
Running a green business is a real challenge. Getting hold of green products can be a nightmare. For instance it was
nearly impossible to get green cleaning products.  We had to educate suppliers on what “green” means.
Politicians thrive on divisiveness. If everyone got one with each other, we wouldn’t need them.
Five things I can’t live without: my Apple laptop, strong coffee, a sketch pad, the gym, and my favourite green pen. I only
write in green ink.  It’s a habit I developed about a year ago.  I read that Langston Hughes only used green to write his
poetry. It gets me in the right state of mind. These are items by the way, not people.
Art is crucial to my life. When I first came to the U.S. as a young boy I was very shy. I had a bad stutter and found
interaction with people difficult. My art teacher was the first person to recognise any talent in me. Under the shelter of
her wing I learned to rely on painting and drawing as a way to express my feelings.
Managing Arab-Israeli dialogue can be enlightening. In 2000 I co-founded the Peace Café — a Washington-based
Arab-Israeli discussion group — as a forum for debate. I grew up in a family where you couldn’t say the word “Jew” or
“Israel” without being scolded, so just being in a room with Jewish people was really transformative. It was cathartic.
It starts at the grassroots level. Those who attended Peace Café discussions, including myself, came to realise that there
wasn’t any great difference between Jews and Arabs, or blacks and whites for that matter. Of course there are always
serious underlying issues that need to be addressed, but we’re so much more alike than different.

Interview and photograph: daniel allen

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 What I’ve Learned

Sulaiman
Layeq colin
firth
Government minister
during the 1979 to 1989
Soviet occupation of
Afghanistan, 80, kabul

Our party did not name itself a communist party. You cannot find
this name in the literature of our party. Now, when they address Actor, 50, Armani hotel Dubai

A
our party as a communist party, it surprises me.
We believed in the reality of the classes and class struggle, but in
an Afghan manner.
I had my own ideas. I was not a dead fish swimming wherever the fter you’re nominated for an Oscar, it’s not as if
water went. Today I am in the same situation.
you wake up the day and suddenly there are
Always I am an optimist. At the time I was in prison and under the
shadow of death I was not hopeless.
fifty wonderful scripts on your doorstep.
If you were in my position who would you choose to follow: I may have only received three scripts over
America or the Soviet Union? The country that doesn’t give you a given period beforehand and if those three
one dollar or the one that opens its pockets and tells you to take were not particularly good then it doesn’t
what you want? help you if there are suddenly fifty that are
As far as us killing mullahs or sending them to jail is concerned, not particularly good. It’s very hard to write
I think that’s propaganda. I accept we ignored them, we did not a good script.
have a dialogue with them, and this was one of our big mistakes.
You’re never in a world of perfect choice.
Here in Afghanistan you will not find a village where there are
three houses without one mosque. Sex symbol of Middle England? I was quite delighted. I was
There is a difference between me and the last generation. I believe thirty-five when that happened and was starting to think
that religion is necessary for the people because the people need that I was passing out of the romantic zone completely,
to follow a religion. But it should not be used for political aims. so it was quite invigorating to be a sex-anything past a
Always the ruling circle wants to impose itself on people without certain age. It helped keep me employed too.
paying attention to the local community. That was even a serious A good story is a good story whether we are using a conceit
problem in our government. of the 1930s or 1800s or pretending we’re all French.
The fight in Afghanistan is not the fight of Afghans.
The “period” I never really notice, frankly. Other people
Why has Britain come here and fought four times when it keeps
losing its soldiers? Greed and arrogance. talk about it more than I do.
If humans can find a way to go to the stars and capture them It feels stranger to shoot things in a contemporary setting
instead of the land, then they will not eat and drink the blood of because you’re thinking, “this is my era and these are
each other. shoes I’d never wear.”
Wisdom and passion. Humans live between a balance of these The idea that I’m troubled by the Darcy thing is completely
two. When the passion gets stronger, fighting, corruption and untrue. It has become something that certain elements
differences are the result. When the wisdom gets stronger, then
of the press seem to like. It seems
they will go towards peace and reconstruction. God created
humans like this. inevitable somehow. interview by
matt pomroy
The philosophers of Western countries must answer this question: That thing about me being a
do they have the power to control the greed of their ruling circle? reluctant heartthrob... Hey, listen, photograph by
I remember the words of Bertrand Russell. I have a lot of respect I’m not remotely reluctant! Isadora Bojovic
for him. There’s something marvellously
There are some revolutions that are not rooted in the needs of subversive about Mamma Mia. A lot of stories out there
society. They are imported by a class, or according to a specific end in extolling the bourgeoisie virtues of marriage and
planned idea, and most of them do not have a national base.
this is very anti-marriage. This is not only about people
These revolutions do not have good results. For example, our
revolution and the Iranian revolution. being sexually alive in their fifties but it celebrates not
I knew of Ronald Reagan from the cinema. It’s not up to me, getting married and being free and breaking some of
but I think he was not worthy of being a president. those social mores.
Maybe George Bush benefitted the U.S., but our people do not ABBA has not been my listening fare at any point in my life,
like him. He loved fighting. but it has that capacity to loosen people up.
Afghans have a habit. Any country that brings its forces here, they I lived in Nigeria until I was four. I can think my way
hate it. This is their psychology.
through the house, the atmosphere, the light, the
Our idea is that America should look at the rest of the world with a
sympathetic eye.
vegetation, the people I knew. It’s still there in my mind
What was the biggest mistake the Russians made in Afghanistan? and it’s still quite potent.
Coming here.

Interview and photograph: Chris Sands

94 esquire f e b r u a r y 2011
I grew up surrounded by people from different parts of the world. It’s utterly shocking that we’ve spent a lot of time locking up
My background in some ways has more to do with India than children and innocent families, traumatising them. Asylum
England because my parents were born and raised there. seekers don’t have any rights, they can’t vote, they don’t have
My brother and I were the only two in my family that were born a voice in society and it’s very, very easy to persecute people in
in England. None of my children were born in England. It’s just that position. You can create a completely hidden community.
an accident of how my family has worked out that I tend to see A broad upbringing helped me as an actor. It’s based in relating to
life well beyond the borders of the United Kingdom. the imagination and I’ve been exposed to cultures.
People might assume I’m a Tory, but through the generations as I did publically support the Liberal Democrats but I’m now without
far as you go there is not one Conservative. They’re academics, any political affiliation.
church clergymen, doctors, a lot of philanthropists and people I’d have liked to see the Lib Dems consolidate the direction they
who travel the world. were going in but they’re in a coalition government with a party
Xenophobia and the anti-immigration stance are all based on a I don’t like and whose ideology does not square with mine.
false fear that is easily whipped up because it’s a very powerful And that’s true for a lot of people.
political and electoral tool. If you can create a bogus enemy and A day is a long time in my business, just as it is in politics.
blame the social or economic ills on them, then you can do it at
very little cost when it comes to the outsiders. Colin firth was guest of honour at the annual chivas legends dinner

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 What I’ve Learned

I
nasif
kayed
f you want to do something, just do it. If you want to
write, if you want to draw, if you want to animate
— you just have to do a lot of it in your spare time.
General Manager, Sheikh Mohammed That’s how you find your voice, that’s how your
Centre for Cultural Understanding, find your style. You’ve got to put your nose to the
47, Dubai grindstone to really get good at it. I was nine when
I started cartooning professionally for a local
I lived in North Carolina for newspaper and all those years helped a lot.
twenty-five years. I started a Collaboration’s the key to success. When we’re putting
restaurant business and had a an episode of Family Guy together, the team throws a
dozen and a half outlets within hundred different ideas at the wall. The finished show is a
ten years. Not coming from an combination of the best of the best ideas.
elite family, it was easier to start
You can go too far. There were times, particularly back in
from scratch over there. There
was nothing here. the early days, when going too far was a constant concern
Back then, black hair and dark on Family Guy. A joke once came up about Kirk Douglas and
skin meant you were foreign. his current condition and that was dropped very quickly. I
We were named according mean, the guy was f***ing Spartacus. As for today, I think
to whoever was in the news. we’re well aware of what we can and can’t get away with.
We were Iranians, Libyans… It’s a line we walk with some confidence.
But they were hospitable
George Lucas is a lovely guy. When we talked about doing
people and once you got to
know them you could get by
the Star Wars episodes, Fox thought there was a good
okay. They were kind people. chance he would nix the idea. But he couldn’t have been
There is more good in America more helpful. It’s quite something to send-up a guy’s film
than there is bad: the freedom and for the guy to offer you all the help you could ever need.
of speech, freedom to express, freedom to worship however you Know your limits. Lovely guy as George Lucas might be,
want, the concept of being who you want to be... there were a few things we did that he wasn’t so happy
America was built on the principles of hard work, freedom and about. In the first Star Wars parody, Blue Harvest, we
equality. But after Bush’s re-election, his “them and us” mentality
wanted to change the Jawas into the Jewas. That had to go.
began to rub off negatively. I thought it was only fair that my
family could live without this attention. It became disheartening. You’re never too old to love Family Guy. When we created
The Middle East was not conducive to my life compared with the the show I imagined it’d appeal to the fifteen-thirty
States. But then Dubai exploded and became the happy medium demographic. But every once in a while I get an eighty-five-
between West and East. I wanted my kids to learn the kind of year-old that comes up to me and says they are a fan of the
tolerance you see here. show. That’s surprising — pleasantly surprising.
Islam teaches you to look at life as half full, not half empty. It’s pretty well known that I dodged a bullet [on September
On September 12, 2001 I was in the newspapers talking about
11, 2001, MacFarlane was meant to be on the American
how this act had nothing to do with Islam. I asked for patience
Airlines plane that crashed into the North Tower of the
and a chance to learn about each other.
We brought the faiths together. In the beginning pastors would World Trade Center but missed the flight after a night’s
say, Is this going to work? But slowly slowly it did work. Jews, drinking]. What do I make of that? That hangovers are good
Christian and Muslims. We weren’t there to convince each other. for you? I really don’t know.
We were there to learn about each other. “Fan” is short for fanatic. Family Guy and American Dad have
The SMCCU was the perfect vehicle for me. A non-profit some wonderful fans. And then there are those people you
organisation where you have the freedom to ask anything. bump into who’re dressed exactly like Meg. God bless them,
I became a full-time volunteer when I returned.
but, in my book, that’s a step too far.
I came from nothing to being a self-made millionaire. But I came
Everyone has the right to s*** on one another. South Park
to realise that you drive only one car, you live in only one house.
I go from crack of dawn through to night. Speaking, talking, has been s***ting on Family Guy for years. They gave up
exchanging. No money has ever given me the same gratification. two-and-a-half hours of their show to s***ting on our show.
We don’t have the free will to choose whether we are male or Have we ever contemplated revenge? Oh man, I’m just
female, born rich or poor, what colour we are, the choice thrilled that they have that much time to devote to us.
of when, where and how we die. So what do we choose? Respect your elders. I wouldn’t be doing what I am today if
Deciding between wrong and right. This is what Islam teaches. it wasn’t for The Simpsons. That show changed everything.
Without a woman that is educated and inspiring where are we?
Because of their success, Fox had become the place for
Prophet Mohammed, PBUH, married a trader who was older than
he was for whom he had worked. Does that tell you something? primetime animation. Matt Groening’s a good friend of
Think about the cold war and all those stereotypes. All that time mine. Does it bother me when his show takes a whack at
and energy and money wasted on those weapons. ours? No, we’re both grown-ups.
It’s a short life. You only leave the good you did. Adam West is a genius. To a lot of people, he’s still just
I would loved to have lived in Al-Andalus. .This was a golden Batman. But I’d seen him in a pilot called Lookwell! that was
age for humanity. It was an era of peace and inventions. Jews written by Conan O’Brien and it became my dream to work
Christians and Muslims prayed in the same place on their
with him. What he brings to Family Guy is unique.
different days. They knew they all came from the same God.
I still cook meatloaf, Carolina style.

Interview: Jeremy Lawrence. Photograph: lester ali

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Never second guess your
fans. If you’d have told
me at the outset Stewie and
Roger would be the most popular
characters I wouldn’t have given you the time of
day. But there you have it — an effete baby and an even more
effete alien are the shows’ breakout stars.
Don’t panic. When Fox cancelled Family Guy the first time,
I think people thought I might go to the wall. But I wasn’t
ruffled because I was still under contract to Fox. They still had
to keep paying me. I just didn’t have to go to work any more!
Circumstance is everything. Would American Dad have existed
if Bill Clinton was in office? Of course not. American Dad only
came into being because we started moving backwards in
America. Stan Smith is the prototypical post-9/11 paranoid
American whose every reaction is an angry, knee-jerk reaction.
Don’t be ashamed of your past. I’ve been to Star Trek conventions,
back when I was in high school. I wouldn’t say I was proud to
have attended them, but doing odd things is part of growing up.
It’s like Michael Caine says, “I’d rather regret the things I’ve
done rather than the things I haven’t.”
Singing at The Proms was the thrill of a lifetime. I was invited to
take part in an evening’s celebration of MGM musicals. To be in
the Royal Albert Hall performing “Singin’ In The Rain” in front
of an 92-piece orchestra – that’s an experience I’d have gladly
paid to make happen.
No grown man should know how to speak Klingon.

Seth
interview by
richard luck

photograph by
getty images

MacFarlane
writer-producer-actor-singer, 37, london

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What I’ve Learned

gEORGE.H.W.
BUSH
WITH
BARBARA
BUSH
Former president, 86, and first lady, 85, Kennebunkport, Maine

interviewed by George H. W. Bush: Dad led by example. Mother would lecture us.
a. j. jacobs She’d say, Give the other guy credit. Nobody likes a braggadocio, George. Don’t talk about yourself all the
september 20, 2010
time.
Photographs by Dad would just go out and do stuff. He would come home from Wall Street on the train. The other men
Chris Buck would all go home and have a dry martini. He’d go down and serve as the moderator of the Greenwich
Representative Town Meeting. And we remembered that.
Oh yeah, I have a piece of the Berlin Wall… they make them in San Antonio.
What struck me about her? Her beauty. Her sheer beauty. And her dress! She had on a green-and-red dress. Spectacularly beautiful
woman. And I asked somebody, Who is that beautiful girl? That is Barbara Pierce, why? I said, Well, I’d like to meet her. And he
brought her over. We said hi. Then they started playing a waltz. I said, Barbara, I don’t know how to waltz. And she said, Well,
let’s sit down. So we sat down, and the rest is history. Been sitting down for sixty-five years.
Never did learn to waltz.

Barbara Bush: I think you ought to treat your spouse like you treat your friends. You clean your house for your friends, you make sure
they’re taken care of, and a spouse comes second. I think you oughta treat him like a friend.
It’s been pretty easy. You might not know this, but Bar’s not that difficult to live with.
If you each go seventy-five percent of the way, it’s a perfect match.

I waited till my eighteenth birthday to sign up. My dad wanted me to wait two more years. But he was all for it.
He was proud of you. I think that was the only time you ever saw your father cry.
He took me down to the station to say goodbye. And off I went. Knew nobody in the Navy. It was different then. ’Most everybody
wanted to serve.
Your brother was physically not eligible because of his eyes, and it killed him.

I was walking out of the high school chapel at Andover. And somebody came running across campus and said there’s been an
attack. The next day, December 8, they convened a special chapel service. The headmaster, a tough guy, said, “Alright, when you
hear that ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ played, I want to see you guys standing at attention! I don’t want you slouching in here like
you’ve done here all the time.” Never forgotten it.

I went back to Chichi-Jima in 2001. They said, This is where your plane went down. It was very emotional for me. You go to this
little town and there are all these Japanese kids with flags —“Welcome, welcome.”
I don’t remember a lot of the details. Also, I think of my mother — “Nobody likes a braggadocio, George.” I’d rather sit and look at
the surf out there. So beautiful.
I was offered a job on Wall Street by my uncle. But I wanted to get out. Make-it-on-my-own kinda thing.
You told me that you sat on the subway and realised you wanted to work with something you could touch, not Wall Street.
Well, I don’t remember that. But I could well have said that back then.

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I’m going to do one more parachute jump.
My ninetieth birthday, June 12, 2014.
I liked it better when they let me do it solo.
Now I go strapped onto some guy. My
third-to-last jump, they said, I don’t think
you should jump today. I said, What are
ya, worried about an old guy? They said,
Well, how about a tandem jump? So I did a
tandem jump. I’ve been doing it ever since.
But the solo is much more fun.
The USS George H. W. Bush is a great thing
in my life. It’s amazing. A great honour.
The difference between this and the old
carriers when I was a pilot is unbelievable.
Five thousand people on it — it’s like a city.
Gorbachev was always very pleasant. I was
the first one to have any contact with him,
because I went over as vice-president when
he took office. And so I told Reagan that
we’ve got a different guy here, a different
leader. He’s easy to work with, good sense
of humour. Could be tough, he could get
angry, but I liked working with him. I give
him great credit for how the world is today.
I got this letter today, asking Barbara and
me to come to his eightieth birthday.
I went to see Lyndon Johnson, and I was
telling him I wanted to run for Senate.
And he said, “The difference between the
Senate and the House is the difference
between chicken salad and chicken s***.”
Johnson was amazing.
I don’t write letters anymore. Got a few to
write now, to thank doctors at the Mayo
Clinic. But other than that, I just don’t do it.

When I was president, trying to rally the

country behind what became Desert Storm, Most restaurants we go to, they remember I never said, Now that you’re president, here’s
Jimmy Carter wrote to all the members — you’re the one that doesn’t like broccoli. what you’ve gotta do — no advice like that.
of the United Nations Security Council You gotta be famous for something. He had his own people around him, good
and urged them not to support me in Well, the worst thing about the time that people. I had my chance.
the resolution that would have given all I was president I think was losing the
countries, really, the right to use “whatever election. Yeah, I really wanted to win, What is my most treasured possession?
means necessary,” and aggression. That and I read smart reporters saying all Your boat.
means use force. And he lobbied against it. these harsh things, like “He’s not really I was going to say my boat, but I’m trying to
He went to foreign leaders. I mean it’s just trying” and “He feels he’s got it.” And think if there’s something else.
unconscionable. They asked him about it that’s not really true at all in my view. So Your father gave you something. Wings
last night on the TV. that was a hurtful thing. maybe? You gave them to George W. Bush.
He was proud of it. I loved going to Camp David. That was I think the boat is my favourite possession.
a marvellous getaway. You get on a But we’re not “things” people.
One of our meals in China was upper lip of helicopter, you’re up there in twenty-
wild dog. Why the upper? They have to eight minutes from the White House If I could accomplish one thing in 2011?
leave the dog with something. lawn. You get off the chopper and there’s Probably I’d say be alive and not be drooling.
After they told us that, we weren’t hungry. no press, no nothing, you just go in and How about getting George P. home [from
see the top-run movies. You could talk to service overseas]?
Taylor Swift is very nice. Twenty years old, foreign leaders without intrusion. He’s asking me, darling. Maybe have a great-
unspoiled lady. grandchild. We have none.
Tiddlywinks is a very important game. We I didn’t give him any advice at all. But I was a
haven’t played lately, Barb. The secret — very proud dad. Jimmy [Carter] was terrible to George, so
it’s the wrist action. It’s a delicate flip with Too late, if he hadn’t learned by then. He had I didn’t ever appreciate that. You don’t
the… it’s hard to explain. a good example. criticise a successor and other presidents.

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 What I’ve Learned
I wouldn’t, and he did. He got very
personal about George, and I never
appreciated that.
Dana Carvey is wonderful. He never

Ali
was hurtful. I mean, he was funny, you
know… “Wouldn’t be prudent.” Very nice.

The great thing about Air Force One is

when you go to some foreign country,
it’s kind of the symbol of the United
States. People are pointing it out and…
Al Ahmed
Saudi Arabian
journalist, academic,
magnificent aircraft. Magnificent. political activist
Compare it to the Russian one we were and dissident, 44,
on. Washington DC
Well, that was old and awkward.
Dark and dreary.
I was arrested for the first time when I was fourteen years old. My family and I were
But we don’t wanna criticise because we
travelling through Doha Airport when we were detained and sent back to Saudi
were lucky to be on it. Arabia. We were thrown in jail for a month.
I remember it very vividly. Imagine you are a kid in eighth grade and somebody
The Queen’s bedroom was good. That’s asks you: “What did you do wrong?” And I said: “That is my question to you?
where we stayed when George was Why am I here? What did I do!” But I was a kid and I had that fighting spirit inside
president. There was kind of a wicker me, and I think that continues today.
thing over the toilet in the Queen’s After that I became an activist. I recruited people into the opposition, I was a
member of the opposition. I was a reporter for human rights, basically, writing
Bedroom. There I was, sitting where
down information and mailing it to a PO Box in London.
Barbra Streisand had sat. I couldn’t They tried to arrest me several times but each time I was lucky. I was ahead of
believe it! these people, and I left before they arrested me, so I was lucky.
Cut that, George. When I left Saudi Arabia I chose a school in the U.S. that had a cultural outreach
Why? What’s wrong with that? programme. We would go to neighbouring schools and speak to the students
about our culture. I did a lot of them.
I loved “Hail to the Chief.” Loved it. Not There was a kid who was extremely afraid of me. He was only twelve years old, but
like Jimmy Carter. after I had finished talking he came and he said, “I’m sorry I thought you were going
to kill us.” I spoke to this kid and I embraced him and said, “No, we are not all bad.
He thought it was too much folderol.
There are people who are good and there are people who are bad everywhere.”
People were surprised that I chose to study journalism. Most Saudis go to the U.S.
What was it that Phyllis Diller said? “All my to study engineering, physics or medicine.
friends are dying in alphabetical order.” After the Oklahoma bombing in 1995, CNN and other American media suggested
She looks at the obituary, “Oop, yep, there that a Muslim was responsible. When it emerged that in fact it was an American
he goes.” So there are not that many of Christian, I wrote about it for a newspaper. I said terrorism has no religion. You could
those left. A lot of the good ones are gone. be a Christian, you could be a Muslim, you could be whatever. People kill people.
I think that is something that has always lived with me. I always stood up for what
I believed in, and sometimes I paid a heavy price for it. But, hey, I survived.
What did I think my kids would do?
My mother had a huge influence on me. Her father was the ruler of his region in
We thought that they would be dictators. Saudi Arabia and she had nine children. I even look like her. She always has opinions
No, we didn’t know. about things and yet she is a woman who does not read or write.
We just prayed they’d grow up. I don’t have children. I have always been married to my work.
They were all wonderful and we were very I set up the Gulf Institute to promote understanding of the region overseas. I am a
blessed. fellow at the U.S. Commission for International Religious Freedom. That’s part of the
They are. U.S. Congress, so it’s pretty special.
The best agent for change is people. When I convince eighty percent of our people
that it is their right to have an elected government, then no one can stop that.
I got pretty good at horseshoes. I got to be We don’t only want English fighter jets. We want English law and justice. We want
family champion here for a while. education and freedom. This would the benefit of the West, because extremism
I think the phrase “kinder and gentler” grows in our environment.
resonated. I don’t remember how I came The West often looks at the Gulf as an oil barrel and whatever happens around that
up with it. Probably some speechwriter barrel does not really concern them.
wrote it. But I felt that way. Still do. When push comes to shove Muslims in the U.S. are seen as dangerous people, no
matter how long they have lived here. As a Muslim there is a huge red sign around
your neck. You are seen as a potential terrorist.
It’s much worse to read criticism about
I’m glad I did what I did. I could have worked in finance and made a lot of money,
your son than yourself. but this is much more fulfilling. But I think I could’ve done better. I think I could have
He read every word. sometimes said nothing instead of saying certain things that got me in trouble.
Read it. Listened to it. I am a journalist, that’s my first function. But my priority is my country and my region.
I worked on several prisoners’ cases from Riyadh. I worked with one of the brothers
I love the phrase “insurmountable and when they were released the brother named his son after me. I never met the
opportunities.” guy, but he knew I’d worked for him. That’s an honour that you cannot buy.
The thing I enjoy is to speak my mind. Even in criticism of the U.S. government,
people ask me why do you say that? I say what, do you want me to lie?

Interview by Orlando Crowcroft

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What I’ve Learned

robert
duvall
Actor, 80, fauquier County, Virginia

S
eeing your name on the list for KP [kitchen patrol] or guard duty when you’re in the Army is like reading a bad review.
When I knew nothing, I thought I could do anything.
A friend is someone who many years ago offered you his last $300 when you broke your pelvis. A friend is Gene Hackman.
If you don’t have heroes in the beginning, you don’t grow.
Making the first Godfather was more laughs than making Godfather II. That’s because Jimmy Caan was in the first
Godfather.
Sometimes I’ll be flipping the channels and come across The Godfather or The Godfather II. I’ll say to myself, Let me
watch five minutes. Coppola made them so beautifully that I end up watching the whole thing.
Coppola always wanted my mother’s crab-cake recipe. He came to my house to talk about doing Godfather III, and I wrote
it down for him. But I decided not to do Godfather III. It boiled down to money. If you’re gonna pay Pacino twice what you pay me,
fine. But five times? Come on, guys. The thing is, when Coppola left my house, he forgot to take my mother’s crab-cake recipe.
He kept calling, but I think it was more for the recipe.
A young actor once asked me, What do you do between jobs? I said, Hobbies, hobbies, and more hobbies. It keeps you off dope.
Sometimes working fast is better than waiting, waiting, waiting to get it right.
“I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like victory.” People come up to me and say it like we’re the only two people in
the world who know.
interviewed by
The attention I get on the street is enough to be flattering, but not so much to be a nuisance. Cal Fussman
When you dance the tango fast, you have to think slow. october 8, 2010

I met my wife in Argentina. The flower shop was closed, so I went to the bakery. If the flower shop had
been open, I never would’ve met her. photograph by
gillian laub
I was a little concerned about being with a much younger woman at first. So I asked Wilford Brimley
about it. Wilford is a very sharp guy. He used to be a bodyguard for Howard Hughes. He said, “Let me
tell you something, my friend, the worst thing in the world for an old man is an old woman!”
You never know how reality is going to coincide with your dreams. You’re optimistic, and you go from there.
A horse is not like a dog. It don’t love ya.
De Niro, how’s he doing these days? He’s got his own set of rules, that guy.
When I was four years old, I observed a sheepherder eating at my uncle’s ranch in Idaho. I couldn’t even speak well, but I said to my
mother, “That man eats like this.” And I started imitating him. All the cowboys and cowhands were laughing at my imitation. So
I guess I’ve always enjoyed characters.
I feel like our country is just a big giant kid with tremendous talent — like an athlete. A big giant kid that’s made mistakes, but
there’s a lot of potential.
Maybe I’m wrong. But I think if the United States went down, it would be kind of a dark world.
Sometimes, when you look back on it, the $10-million-and-under movies are some of your favourites.
You get to a certain point where your career kind of works for itself — although you can never take that for granted.
Getting together with friends and holding court over a meal is one of the great things in life.
Say hello to Brando and he’d know you wanted to say hello to him, so he’d ignore you. He had a way of playing a game with life.
You never knew what to expect. Because other times, out of nowhere, he’d reach out to you in a way that was very special.
When I finished Lonesome Dove, I said to myself, Now I can retire. I’ve done something. Let the English play Hamlet. I’ll play
Augustus McCrae.
What is it that Michael Caine says? “You don’t retire. The business retires you.” So until they wipe the drool away…
Virginia’s the last station before heaven.
I have this great horse named Don Manuel — Manu, for short. When your photographer comes, Manu will probably try to get into
the picture. He always does, that horse.

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