Cisneros, Sandra, “Eleven”, en Woman Hollering Creek, and Other Stories, Random House, 1991.
5 Eleven
By Sandra Cisneros
What they don't understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you're
eleven, you're also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and
10three, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel
eleven, but you don't. You open your eyes and everything's just like yesterday, only it's
today. And you don't feel eleven at all. You feel like you're still ten. And you are underneath
the year that makes you eleven.
Like some days you might say something stupid, and that's the part of you that's still
15ten. Or maybe some days you might need to sit on your mama's lap because you're scared,
and that's the part of you that's five. And maybe one day when you're all grown up maybe
you will need to cry
like if you're three, and that's okay. That's what I tell Mama when she's sad and needs to cry.
Maybe she's feeling three.
20 Because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings inside a tree
trunk or like my little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other, each year inside the next one.
That's how being eleven years old is.
You don't feel eleven. Not right away. It takes a few days, weeks even, sometimes
even months before you say Eleven when they ask you. And you don't feel smart eleven, not
25until you're almost twelve. That's the way it is.
Only today I wish I didn't have only eleven years rattling inside me like pennies in a tin
Band-Aid box. Today I wish I was one hundred and two instead of eleven because if I was
one hundred and two I'd have known what to say when Mrs. Price put the red sweater on my
desk. I would've known how to tell her it wasn't mine instead of just sitting there with that look
30on my face and nothing coming out of my mouth.
"Whose is this?" Mrs. Price says, and she holds the red sweater up in the air for all
the class to see. "Whose? It's been sitting in the coatroom for a month."
"Not mine," says everybody. "Not me."
"It has to belong to somebody," Mrs. Price keeps saying, but nobody can remember.
35It's an ugly sweater with red plastic buttons and a collar and sleeves all stretched out like you
could use it for a jump rope. It's maybe a thousand years old and even if it belonged to me I
wouldn't say so.
Maybe because I'm skinny, maybe because she doesn't like me, that stupid Sylvia
Saldivar says, "I think it belongs to Rachel." An ugly sweater like that, all raggedy and old,
40but Mrs. Price believes her. Mrs. Price takes the sweater and puts it right on my desk, but
when I open my mouth nothing comes out.
"That's not, I don't, you’re not...Not mine," I finally say in a little voice that was maybe
me when I was four.
"Of course it's yours," Mrs. Price says. "I remember you wearing it once." Because
45she's older and the teacher, she's right and I'm not.
Not mine, not mine, not mine, but Mrs. Price is already turning to page thirty-two, and
math problem number four. I don't know why but all of a sudden I'm feeling sick inside, like
the part of me that's three wants to come out of my eyes, only I squeeze them shut tight and
bite down on my teeth real hard and try to remember today I am eleven, eleven. Mama is
50making a cake for me tonight, and when Papa comes home everybody will sing Happy
birthday, happy birthday to you.
But when the sick feeling goes away and I open my eyes, the red sweater's still sitting
there like a big red mountain. I move the red sweater to the corner of my desk with my ruler. I
move my pencil and books and eraser as far from it as possible. I even move my chair a little
55to the right.
Not mine, not mine, not mine.
In my head I'm thinking how long till lunchtime, how long till I can take the red sweater
and throw it over the school yard fence, or even leave it hanging on a parking meter, or
bunch it up into a little ball and toss it in the alley. Except when math period ends Mrs. Price
60says loud and in front of everybody , "Now Rachel, that's enough," because she sees I've
shoved the red sweater to the tippy-tip corner of my desk and it's hanging all over the edge
like a waterfall, but I don't' care.
"Rachel," Mrs. Price says. She says it like she's getting mad. "You put that sweater on
right now and no more nonsense."
65 "But it's not--"
"Now!" Mrs. Price says.
This is when I wish I wasn't eleven, because all the years inside of me ten, nine, eight,
seven, six, five, four, three, two and one one-- are pushing at the back of my eyes when I put
one arm through one sleeve of the sweater that smells like cottage cheese, and then the
70other arm through the other and stand there with my arms apart like if the sweater hurts me
and it does, all itchy and full of germs that aren't even mine.
That's when everything I've been holding in since this morning, since when Mrs. Price
put the sweater on my desk, finally lets go, and all of a sudden I'm crying in front of
everybody. I wish I was invisible but I'm not. I’m eleven and it's my birthday today and I'm
75crying like I’m three in front of everybody. I put my head down on the desk and bury my face
in my stupid clown-sweater arms. My face all hot and spit coming out of my mouth because I
can't stop the little animal noises from coming out of me, until there aren't any more tears left
in and It’s just my body shaking like when you have the hiccups, and my whole head hurts
like when you drink milk too fast.
80 But the worst part is right before the bell rings for lunch. That stupid Phyllis Lopez,
who is even dumber than Sylvia Saldivar, says she remembers the red sweater is hers! I
take it off right away and give it to her, only Mrs. Price pretends like everything's okay.
Today I'm eleven. There's cake Mama's making for tonight, and when Papa comes
home from work we'll eat it. There'll be candles and presents and everybody will sing Happy
85birthday, happy birthday to you, Rachel, only it's too late.
I'm eleven today. I'm eleven, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, and
one, but I wish I was one hundred and two. I wish I was anything but eleven, because I want
today to be far away already, far away like a runaway balloon, like a tiny o in the sky, so
tiny-tiny you have to close your eyes to see it.
90
Activities:
1. What is it that nobody says about birthdays?
2. Explain the use of these comparisons:
95 a) like an onion (l. 13)
b) like the rings inside a tree trunk (l. 13)
c) like my little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other (l. 14)
3. Explain why the girl says: If I was one hundred and two, I’d have known what to say [...] I
would’ve known how to tell her it wasn’t mine (l. 21)
100 4. What does Rachel mean when she says: like the part of me that’s three wants to come out of
my eyes (l. 41)?
5. Write a brief summary of the story.
6. What idea of growing is presented in the story? Write your answer in a few words.
