THE COMIC TOOLBOX HOW TO BE FUNNY EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT BY JOHN VORHAUS SILMANIANES PRESS los AmesCONTENTS tercutica a ome nah ad Pal 1 he Wo Hs 9 he Cami Premise 19 Comic Chases 20 5 Some Toot fhe Toco 47 9 Prcial jokes 116 10 Comedy a feoprty 137 11 Sl Moe Tec fom he Toolbox 25 12 Staaten Comedy 199 14 Steh Comey 154 14 Toward Folah and Pefecton 182 15 Scrap and Dovghas 178 16 Horie Esbortions 186“FORWARD!” to The Comic Toolbox ‘ze you one ftom ile ‘who eanaot pena tny sene ect yu ek th conic genet ‘re you conn hat you low ‘re ues to wok sea thou funny boas? “Take Hew, dar la, or sow 2 Book it, ‘To guide you on your cue "To west for deep wir, your rative wit st The com they fn Vora “Tosave you fhe ses poor loys you coms bate rls “Tha ald theca of ers fol, oa es en ay ht den i, “The Pa ns os wii dnd once spring fac tat salons il, “on then be ee ot ad re ofl, Bice to find he premise, chose te word “Tha sepuntes the er om he er So iryou wat ine you comic cal ‘And yin te sss of he pessoal dat “Then tke chs ook of hanebning tools And join els fers, cls ai fos ‘cn ach doy a lg ou thee pt, ‘rng oy ad euro flow men Fee Bem, eign Thee, Ln Angles, 1994 1i | I INTRODUCTION "Thess ok by wim Sm an EB, Whe ied ho to snot pe When e ead ia gh shea ay ends at AM cals Be Behan of Se, ant yo cat bese at we ‘hgh a ths wae pty uch the eghe oa Wel, oe shot Oat dking a ret dae Scones am apple wine fn dooming up on aeihbor' aves Waa erode, £0 ce {yous oomeoehsins Alay tate, The Heme of ye wae 3 Derbi pore oa of ill feraton abet te tage rd wigan even, nese fry, aot) Inu vey ana mune f pages ora gana was, ad remain emitaly good read ecmend © Suk ad whe were big on rly and at alfa 10 the tt They te! he pave we fr ce, and ‘heed true tte purse voiced weak ng Beene Twasyougandhapresionabe when Tou Wet ork, rae Disndeany on. For mast of wong egy purged the pie wae fue my werk Asien ore day 1 dicorerod Row mic fan was to wat inte pane wee Tew ¥ was wre. Bad had od tren wrong ut] couhts help sel The won jor came pil oon be page: Toe rom ut acd at fy ma kom so haiome oats tare a 4 oma tte im Te od wa in oy er Tob ed alan agen ym. bie as emu from them bot. Sea Ba Cla oadieed Afendand, paras worstedTre Cou Toso fy tem, Suddenly, te door was eboney the Dasa ft woman Oy wlom the ed was a po neal him Some sera were Serene wed angry wor excaged. easy tba the ma yao tho gs tar el ‘ii of th noes ene by bt The for ‘ues 28 place pact was oy bodes. ho Bor sb by bes Ramone was te fb ‘be man by whom Pea as bla. The gn 05 ard upon bin Aud beret as hy foresis Solas ha been omy deseo othe sole roles of ocd wring tat ad elated cat a pce of sea ling Imommeat—a joke, faotrgelse In bd obesarce tothe rls orgoco have fin And jo, you cant have in in wring of ‘paiieg or ang oF ain oF wig alloon ans, oa eed any ceatve endeavor ty ee? SO 1 Naat to mae one eg ds going ne Te fest is that ere ae a0 rls Take ati sl wth ge, line ssi of sal My tole my designed fr my comenense. Iya Bd hem ssc, yl ests use ther But thy a0 snipe, for Gece ke, nr even elements of ene ‘Gnthe otter ans eve ey sonal that he rey dont contin, they dee. Create olvng, The more se {UD aes we have, and te ore igor we apply ea, the mote dey we undead the prim were ying ose and the more sucess mel have atk Por imac € youre fsa dead tery, zr tat ou connect de umpereables fluszoplas and imueco owed Connect the plas terial fe bers he minus tem of the ther anol end up Sia ed bates ae pus fo ce. 83s You pole euidin thsi eed THe Come Tot opt the sel sont eventing a eas wet of eonsieraton yout these estan hers wer ie, by all means re then In ogo, you Likely come up with seme new cen your on They be ete for you, bese they be our, concted by you ian Som the yor under ‘ind ued ny eur al the too ‘an especialy the execs Some ay su cul, of eleva to your mec, ose sin upc Ty them anyhow, ony eo pone fw at plan ‘upd he ely are An tae pst ae lt ne ey ‘Nant be godecon your were nord ty seen ver > you. uryou sl get muh more out cal hs nana yo Ui play wets all en in your min Se he ‘eagisfuBe,or wet down your anemia sede ‘ope ks fa help you mine yur enna ne Putdoty th exenises Youll only geo of bo wa fou Pun Ort ptitanater way, the more you py the mote en ‘seven yeas go, tah clase cllad Wiking am he Aen espacive Ashe for Ut las, assed he oe "Go cat and do somahing new, smething ose never one fire Some peopl pak for strange! al Smee any books Sone pied dumb, Seae fused too he igen hich Is eaing they ever dove belo in ay ase any ‘ure Sane go anes vas nt orf extce ‘nd me dened someting vr sees. Te ee act fing the mexpeced ting rented one ary ene ate nother That reveain lee! to 3 sew cls, eal! Fe Came ool and Gar as ed otis book. $038 you eae book, sop tego e ask youre!f how you een ake our ceive procs Red sho. my not ting abt wh eu wie oF ‘aw or pin, tur abot the system by which you bing your mater oe. reak lé habits, even ones tht wes We belt ine puke Draw cartoons on mill Take yourel by supe th mor you dot, the funnier pul be facing fe, youlTlae he experenceof dog something sew, nthe new thee aigow says woth doing ong tnt ths "blake hiner before we push on fsbo, ti lot ea he hero ad he characte ate te and eee anc viene Alt ties eal these peopl he toiph of ure Tinea th ea he targus lag lod ol ch,Te CaweToo.se sb Hagley consent fo: se cee pate beams tab toni and We cate ar tore fbn oh Tank Pg sine men piso ders ty as cg ie voi ner! The mr wai fe, bu sone he ik ao pen'sh arma ang ei Pk ‘Trung ee ba Some of thom wrk wel Beat hope bey ok ne ry 0 Sydney, Aus Apa PH 1 COMEDY 1S TRUTH AND PAIN Whe as mtv yar ofl in ove wh tele Parker She was cates wih boa hari burs aod sae at ‘inl my bead sweat Al doug avert gr, ug lunch ous ad Sand pracice and te it yea hoy partes af _ay ager adolescence, {moan ake gs cls Hote -nooalyeorages Itc i he theo of puppy ov can con, 1 mason. ‘Andchen, ane day during mah cas, wile ry sweuty yoga itm par atl "et 8 Ag Out” Paes andere the ionderaes of Lee Pare mented i fasig hat she and hes Fay were moving away My word ine Plded lea dazk sa The ampotaion os cheated body pat (Coa or lave hate worse MY aod hori the The tahey sr Devries he le at fot be cause, inl, fs always ashing vening questions ike, "Whats Aheiquueroeeofmimus one” anther ye ade by 2107" [nseed my had ke 2 lo, ying ge ih atesie. NO pe. “en gen pass an Lesh Pacer stg relation fet ‘tom events ind bn ene s,s eo te He, Me Desire cts rehactant nod my we I tand wp Eatheaaly sate wily appropiate, 1 est “el, abereane you mo Ing. and ig? By which, of couse, en, “Dont fae me! There nat siden stunned lene, ob comet che cal sn seventh grade. laa case se ef bd ing, had evened fee In the nex so eveyone Daou uh ing vente Desasts, hat acs smothered acho ahi (i at nel fou tit the insane mor Mee2 ‘he Come Toosox sacidona photographic pam, these most pl an el {Hing momen of yi yp tt pen, Te lax such momen? ‘Oh, would tit were so, Remind me sorbed tl you at the college soe shower feo) And never forget wat Me Destine sid as ny east ager rang in sad Leslie Packer looked He rod el “They no ging you, Be Vora. They hing wtb you” He wis ping, of ume They were lughing te, se Tike monster wee asking gosh deg cys. Ae why? Here hey knew, athe ny, secre, prepuoeren Tet that thou Twa the ane who ad sep othe ine tht tine, # could tae been anyone of them ANd ne sgl beattaking sd morn instant, dcoven 2 amen ue of humee,toogh was way yes nd aan, many year thera) bere recognized a mace i epet for you bolster rowsers who ae hs gazing hove 0 sb6 hs tome your of cranial eu. Com) st ‘and pain ‘When dase ays bef Lae Paes, expand the truth of fve and he pin ive los ‘When # dota eich ple ne face, aha en You fee forte poor wm all coveted with cust, al yu a0 sealze thet a ave Been you, se of tere bul or be grace ef plegol “roving cleuman kes ae wath stp. The tai tat ‘he salem wars something al the pa that he never Ingo gore tn ac, amos cer cy ok ests on rath pa, Tecate sex lea Paroning expec that we all sate nh he possible exception af ne Wid McGarvey, who was ven re Pathetic han Twain seven gra. and wio grew protec 2 Benectne monk wonder Want cesding th eck Hele, The ta tha eetonsberwoen te sexes ave probit, “The palo ls that we fave to deal wih the problem fe mare the rewards. Consider te flowing ke Adam 2098 10 God, “Gok, why dd you male Cour tum aso Pa omen sf Gad say, “So that ou a ihe hom Adem says, “God, why dit yo mae tien vo warm and cu? Gos at [ou is bem." ska sy t,t Gd thy a yo mate om 0 iC a tha we ye” “he jo hes equal shots aie ates hot of men ad snes sen ook bad, es wren look by ba bid ha theres shes corm experience ee al man, weall be gender, and weed ints es sept fr. Tas tut thats prin, and ns wet masse ump, Ina cows epbde of 77220, ie Hl pte» in ‘andy fice wee he conveyor be sey it ig faster and faster faving poor Lucy deypemtey suing candy ia het ‘mow yigio ay ahead ef eek Whats the a? That it Monsanto of han And the pa We aye ou anes hen lenges hol down teh aps et Jou itis enelpe ito small or + pest sys she cover OF fhe can And este? “Wel, you're right Tah mee, ad aes pai yen fs) ay ettor we 9 tl eh joe: A banc of ms are targus peaty te, wating to got tnt bat 3 Pr ap {rehes and “Al yo mek er bo ‘ech by our ete daring your lis, Bo toe ‘wagon en sto upon Bebo ge tod ngb wall." the mon go te kf all ce one Hid tle le my bo gost hit 8 Per eraser tothe ema nd sans. “Alese ter ma wr npn eet hee te wa. Ho co ad totbergbr wal” Sae te Hae man, My ae nites {ha an pain The td chat somo me, soni ate espe ad epi that Some en srtiney, a ackTe Came Toarzox ‘Terese le pent in hfe, and thats eae ct deat Nom, some posopers age tht al aman experience recuces 9 fon fet, nea Paying a cheap card ead of hinhday preset somehow sees © moraley. Maybe: urna This book = pot concerned wh ich panderoos peste F lever, mcule be eal The Pisopbal Toate How bo be ‘Hous, emf Youre Bot Nesetces, tue that Ge, ike ‘ex 8 Ilion to the aman experience. i any mend "he hatan anf ours em the th pi en A a is nd gos at. Sats stm et Ce be son toro rasa whichever room choos al tome fral earn Db irs mom, tnd of pope areseraarg in ‘me ggony oes turning flame Toe mamas toss the son nom ibe rcond roam bot Sands of ppl are agen nb fom my Torte stromanthe ttre. Te mare ats 26 the third rum dh rel raon boas fespie are uanding aroun dein cae (oh ra rowage laps arcund tet? bac. “1 Take emmys the man. When Sata ‘el cut te cra, “Oy, cf rea oer "Bp lon yo ho “The thé There mgt bea Kell. And te pal? mo be het Aman fal off Aete pure; bes oat te mtn, Sof sg” “Tue th and the pal Sometimes we're visi fae [lion sian experience tht tutes sa Deane reese haze 2 expe er usa furan cleat, Jokes dt poke fon eaious gues and Stuaoes (oro expos the a ad the pata ofthe regis exp (over We watt beleve wee js ot Sue Wwe Conor Ym anc ase ado you ge wae you ers eas Wi esa an anos? Sona ha rings your door frm apparent “Tre muh tate peopl ste for ith Te pans that soteneryony gestive Anu by the Way. people wha do et” 1 ect ere a fe elt wy eae ey dom Accept ne “rl Ha the Joke presents. A hea Wines Soni tis ke form because he has, and ca oe by he socal rats ha th joe wt st Tak, Het my lento wo prove or diproveexeace of God othe aut o€ fash, My Dei, you bles dont emer Jno Wha ames thing ny fost ype overall eile ausonce heath ke Rap ander an ext aeich es for uaa Seca they much sme prety suo eld ets But oe eto be dat way. You ean fd ah ane i san eons Wy dons be etn ma mgs oud octane Bt Bacon aby gg a tamer tanh th at i man wilh a dd he pin ar we cat vay ascend those ats. you want kaw? ‘why oie oy, a8 yourself what wh and hat pin cioes thr thing exter “ke «mot now and ol youre fo of your vos phe. Aakyranet what uch anc what pan nmiggpend beach Jpee Comer stat and ths pan sath heneal te ke "as yore, otal heres are user Aer ot eryone sn det, oc henpecked, o eer afd i tovgl, st of us naw seen who ison a dt, epee, rad 1 dats ora of te sbove. Humor Werks a the boss Sweep of igh a i pai, but al wos om te mat oe of el wth and al pin. The Wick 0 make se ha your badece fas th same pins of ference 358. ‘When aad conic make aol abs hd apne foe bes min catmon sein of asa pau, Ine Ben fave never Noo, sou know alpine ood, shal wera) ecuaicrpustion You get te je*| eCowe Too.son ‘You dort Have bea enyp comic, oF een coe: me voune thatocl of enh and pats you were peng ert elie ner speech for example you cond wan your ele wh ome tha anomie he ah ante pan of he uso ow yt al eto ot pasa af ser that long maa ey 0 be rie" (Paus.) Thank ot ond goal gs ™ “The th eat pees nog, a he po tha a ‘ences ger Dred. Te iy species cop ths wey. Rr eae well dice lat, you often dott have to «ake a {get bg sxpetnes you ot have tell the na Sas, pola incomes humor, like sexi or rick jokes, als dks aha oe te ce 1 an so on a ‘Sappone there's pp cle the Eastsiers and al op ‘alle the Wess, sh ese Wo ptOups tel aks about ac finer om an fase, th, Yu ight hear se ee, = ‘Wesride copie docs, ae they sl cousin” “he Pesce, sa up, hold ta common the wu {har ec tmve pap wih hm nent press poly, se have no dete wo ech ie or sexist ow be peice now large or how smal ca be made to be funny sat ad In lessen stston canes, fe exam, ful ma ee Jokes sour body pas thn aout tered en boca Se vow (and im wali to bet or) know Foo abou! DUE cas than the Bhagat cia Heres a joke tat tf people dn’ ger “tne marys dees serena ight "16 wat rohnae™ “hin joke fs nt my the oly sey) # you brow tac slp elves notary but his own exes nd Cour Taurean Pan ‘taco re), and gs Forever analy alone hs wor ‘Wher you thw a joke ei at an unapeting steno ruse the ork 00 Bard 0 cover Be nah a pain BY the te thy sow lout, indeed ey do the moment has fined atl he joke sc anger funny “Taceiferce hlwees «cas owe aaa chaser that the cass own es oes everyone gee wie the cs nextel Joes thst ony he ats. Comedy, thus, 28 ut th and pa, Tt uniensh ora least general, th ad pla Bune See more We know om te comme prop- nyt ati it comedy = th + pai hes ch» pan ‘eet a we. ee eure someting ee over race ‘nah beynlie fat hat love kes you sp) Soi eed Jagrobe any even youre nox, ip pasate nd sec ‘iy sun wal Wor A spt dhe Sets A Say ac ‘oy ution haa kat some imped tah 304 pan Spo out studhig for aig teat the wu sf apeeant wo Pas he pais youte not repared. The joke Ut encanoases ths tran pan Gogol of exaagerica, wich wel discuss ts i be Yim ch a oy stdnt, cul a lod See how sn? ‘ay, ooy | Koow t's mot that ey feral eventing you oeeded wo i abou comedy were gba fn caper eth ou coud ead his whole book sanng nthe ck one and Fe cut a nt incorstceneryai fy el Tony happen if you do tothe ek oes, deway Ard wontuppen over No reason ty tals loclat etsenaySucpone you wate to bea wed cnet since tl outhee wie thing cle a aie, ge care Ing mood. Wow: yous, ‘an ace sie af koie Come Toots ing that he tig exes, oF cou, ives yun cue how to we iam ures, none pw wo use dogen' mean Fate sing 10 carve a teak Paton te fist ty. You have te etn fo cin a phase, bere You ean pte Forwnea your 2 THE WILL TO RISK A newsgaper spare cll me not long ag. Se enna team som of sci expert an the subject of cones. her Paster ated io know If Though tha ee were pope alu wo senee of hunor. Was pose the Meter Wor he qeson pu wen cid of my fst bas, x Mouraced woman wih Halen hicut who cheshed te goto at Jiro aden peters sho be te ann end One (by fa Bafa spk pt ve gich in heres Soo Irma ceca unciloymess. "No sense of names 1 oust heim xe} now see ta all she Icke was ny seme ume The no erejee carces an what nas. ‘at cvenene comb chars what ie ep 1 peo aent en, thee ate uray wo tng eine One dn undersnding hs any and why, wich wel ake fa de ne. The er, fr ore impor elmer the wl ‘an be lst and underced and tre, ‘es yn ym ome people have moe atl humor than cers ike ene people have peste ich ora knack tok realy he wl to fal, Weve eu fa ety yout shh fate, buted as may Seem, a wilagnesst als coe ofthe mos wine cole your cori ooo ake al Yourester ods enero se and vse wel Sot i ae fh bas eo cst cr wl ekThe Cave Toots nd the ist sep a Bat dition 1 [ERADICATE BOGUS THINKING ol ees i ge Sls, one igarette' ay, the ie ed ght on te dateand doe vouly mean anhigs wore E ‘no conn your atom ewe parila nas yet of bogus tiniing: fate ascenpne tl fowl seca ‘When we dun about ling aoke, or ying «now es, realy, ening any crave here hts bei acon ‘Rots ring he eine he seton work oy tng joke, the “uafuaa pasoa twos this nuge vane a bor her own way. lrwont work, They wot ike. Meybe jus howp ag Pp shat, pay ste, yesh, hs he ig 6. Ard hts js wha they uty do And so we tink of em ‘Okay, sn why wom ca abe anion? Berl smaybed uF abe they Wor ke Wel etek possi. Dot we have = whe by of hard evidence to he once Sommer oes 0 work, ste assempon of te SS tneteay a least ply wna very bik an wg that 38 the assumption of ues. Yeu st WaMu OL Sovran Wathen ola nat dene nos bop, tou joke wont Work. We Lep o the ama ceomchston tht when bay deat ie ou ake, he ee lsoher We cate win ou ids the grin cena hat tl ook spe fools or hererse manish in soe e's eyes Why thivafuty sociation? Po ths snp Son People serait you look tothe Theyre Fae wo Bay weigh ok © you ac of isthe utr of au on universe so our ese Inof siping Ine vere te universe net dr arene by our fears. we nip dough Hoops to keep from ooking ta iether eyes a a Eye intbe Ronan you Bnew hom le Te Wie 10 Roe ope ste yu, you wok wry wha hy eng fee tote he he wel one ey aan: "Wen ey do He T1an kemoe= Ma eh rodent ht by i tne wept sennd ng ciao ene 0 oe ne hep mies ce eat astro Thts way a sande cones Teed ot there’ when show goes Hela opskng tbe ogy tose goal We letslonks Be note oop aga ht ease we Ur esta ot open your toath os oe ars ieee sep tag ry Sight ot monk” Thee sd lee Ye utah lr, foo” As thal wee cies Your. fond youre fot fafa. Your fo il een pn le“ Thaesg en r ere Poor Ieee ny ea tool ent igen ok al ese ei nage urs oe stm chage ins ok ute nok ever abet et mje oul, sk wos belle 7 go Teach be 7 ‘aly ger andreas Wt aed roe fare et GP sim canoe pe you some sts tts en {Eng tose boge rosin your bend. Hees ef, eo salute ~ALLYOUR FEROCIOUS EDITOR ‘Gara your ogi voices the hen pater a exopbrial tare, site he ou" ferocious ee Reco ets think out tt ew ia 3a our Jaro oer sown ale assunpisne bases Anns at abudriste ond fuer bees tht toutys tng nyo ex eet. You ferocisedlr smo inertia your chances for meen and ovresisesthe BS pel ka Tel your feroctuselorto go tohalve Cows Toutes ise sid than dae, gh Aer, you ferocious eto strong we sumbtch Po, hae presented ni nea etn ‘har pour ects elir is samehow a free of pei, a ‘ot realy pa of you albu me Fro te lt we Ya Feyosous citar Yau stl tow do you fat you! ater when wee ling ot making oo Joke eter, 2 wat o conic els a pling your poms, Se Wil be ‘he frei eto back fe. Well welcome Ki nar, ‘Now. Now i four chance tbe dettnding and unstrtig Drs of quay. Go for encased, fr you te my Bet fiend” Ba hve, nth ea ge we really need ence ht vice, natalie ta nel bly wha was senso be your Fes, Toil your feces dog youl ed weapons, The na of ine et ey fas, ‘THE RULE OF NINE For evecy ton kes youl ine wl be tas, For every ten eas You have, nine wont werk Fer every tn tines you Hak tine Times you Depressing? Not ely, Hote rule of nine ws ot 12 be hgh bering beeune ene you embrace you naa anc permanently lose te x expectaion of sce ee fae! that expectation arte corsequee feo ace at five yur ercous eto sch power eves You. Remove the fecistoa and you sano te power Simple, cle ost But wt teu contac ere? Dic ist sty that you cant asuie acest oral? Dida say you na kao Un you ty? Tem how the mek ca I assume a dead and fly’ 104 Succes te for our ci endeavors ean, aly acts Icon haw eal kg 9 snd on. Linwoke te le of nine ot as a km but ss anaer wel ftion © help ein my never-ending base a a Maybe you tk im pling, What, afer a hed ference herween faring ae atlas nse The anset as inexpacation wien you expec: sucess, you fs lu Yo have something lose owerey withthe rule of ite, 8" eapecutsons 6 ow tte ave very nary nog ose Tie Was 70 oe Ifyou ely expect one jl in tn to we, ent stad to fel esr that you" aced dreds a ud led jokes to batda cect body of so eve toy ae fl Sr ey and fl acd ey a al, a yg dr 0 eh {he poration fling. By simple mort you eral up ping yurs thatthe proces fale al tothe pre of scree Thi co-opt Yu feria ot esd ye, bit mya leas bony tha Before “There can ther, 200 for ling eget, ets ty conc nd ebow t works. Gencrate +t oe ay tes foes teams. Remeber, ts quant, not gly wr afer here I fc laws your expectations sven om yc am Dlte the exe fe minutes ores Tas uth wot evince Yous tae eor that ohn’ fk tg on thei Iter wellbe abies aac this ome poem wha woke Stew of tol Fors hah ft ack a swe atin ‘Whar woul funy sane for spe tears be? Tie Mengh Madea “Toe Saves Altration “Tee He ges ‘Tee Linton om ‘The LA Rae ‘The New York Happy abies ‘he Fung Distater ‘The Mepuhaerestes ‘The Te wt the Ire Lang, Vtualy Unprenzanesbe, and Ais hapa ‘Wek Chet Nase oc psn Is 2 But Wt he le of, doesnt hareto be Allwete tying todo he setae ing things dona, wits oF burden, expacito fet Now our. Well sume that you havea blk pee of paper othe Ick sm oklemebpets rks on be sisi te ew ‘rere cain ths book, ad, wie ee eng gon7 ie Come Toowor +0 your head, remember tat the fst step to mastering tal it sing fel forthe dam hing Maye yo should sok up now ‘ole envelopes, Or you could aways se 4 notebook sae ithe margin. Someries fave tome blake spaces cn the page ke sad the trl sat ese are ales "want ome your ferrin ec rete sore more? Dosh LOWER YOUR 16479 ‘This makes 0 sens, fea people ase slays ling vs to mise oor gts Tm bitten peopl re ales ling hi ‘he ches he mas ey sl Fespect si he soem ng. sds sejilhon dol eis noting to wony abo, me cat necessiy believe everyting they sy aha ‘Whenes yours eand.upcamicora serene fa pvc | of humorous esaytt ora catomist or am ett cea get fe cad wer oa publi peer or whatever, ou'e poss Inidened ny theta dese oe ey succes ig mae NO sone do [sa ening ts oak foresmple. than each al ‘wondering wbother wil el alc of opie, get me oe lk how exc, rake me anos snd lead: ether books, owe ‘esi ae invexions io allt hest paren Sheesh at ee ube yu ‘And yet ght down here onthe evel ofthis semen, Fa hoping tht this bok sal ke me a nade guy. Lally waa: tera made guy, bn a lng a well on what i Uke be ae gy x mger Lan emcee owing Dookthe ‘very thing TW Hoping wil make me a made guy inte ed TO mix # metaphor most enol, neve a qze one Tm king for pi inthe sy, What heavens name ot do non? Tower my sighs once on is chapter hs paragraph lois sentence th pia, ie word Why? Because Hope a ‘ces ca kl comedy juss uly ace of luce With he ake ‘Sf nine we ack au fa face. By lowering ours, we sack on noed or cess. cant tess ths poe enough Rist now the only thing hat ‘verthing ebe wil ake ere fel The Wa 10 ‘es i, Pollan. ust 60 youromewod nthe bk ‘wil get publied, ad he tlk shows wil al, el is ey, the fae he lr, he pay netatons i male iy the ‘window. Oks}, mayne ae. this ech yar mo be te IT you don eencene the tat hit th the bon ok ayo oe or alan, ores, oF Speech, or cing cor Sand 20) wil eer get Sse, ed youl ave 0 hance at he sor you wan. “The comic proces takes place one step tame. Less youre Supe, you cnt lap tal budget ange boul, so ts relly i of pido tl youre yo as Re awa of this spel Regu youl nl that you so wht pos en ao Do sone thing ad yr esac er ale ie "os the pone Somme, ‘lay, om we fave fn tools that atack snd dish out proses kines the le of nine ad owes ca Ss at ther wezpns a we ring to beat? This sin, yo ay be please oem wt el POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT AS SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY -Appoud eva sam rion, cate everytime you do, ce ate an evvieavers nha lrg vty cn gow ‘an he te hough going to rept for tae inthe Dock fhe das pad smal cote Thay mab cones arom ets ty anoerexete snd se f we ca amen our ef fon wth ponte eaiorcrset Fs sing the le of ie re 2st often uy nates your notebook Here, tn you Juliane Poses Spanley Carictile Bangui ay, mew you go. 5Tie Come Toots Dem de dur dum dn Nice dey, hol? Aline smengy. yeah, thes. Bone enc? Goad work Now how do ou fe all went ceding 0 plan, you usd he tot of lowering your sg to keep flee expectations 2 trinimun. You recognined thi a pe, tal, and very pos shy oils cxerne, dese! to.dnnedhing rere ia ee ‘erup your cone murcen Yoo ckivt expect to change Pur ead ey prea cot NOW vse thee of ie 0 san yours an cone ta, yp, most of thse fe names ely se all tha frag And ddenty uty, Deca ecordig to te ale of nine hey fon have be ‘ut what yu di do ish ery impos thing: you find ‘Be exerci Yas pt tom pat At gots B without warden into the nave never land of prceistpaon. You did boob You didiena beter nr ne th you expected a, ft, You dia expect w do parila wl 7 bal at al Ts inburlened, yon gor I done, which may be moe than ws appened in tho pas. So pat youre om he bck, Tate he wi. Now lock what appens You cgranlate yourelf for dag 2h ej. Tha gies you aster seme of youryel some ‘one wo ean dab, Whe makes You mighty eter equip fo do th ob pax tine kh reins bem petfomance tae me, Wh ean inpoved seimage, Which mean erancnd pvormance. Which seaasewvall, you ge he gt ‘har woe doing hate eaten postive enforcement, instilling peop. Thee you agine youre tbe, se bewer you become ‘Whoa, hey, teres 4 powelconcet, uh? Be deer you ‘magi youre he th eter you become. Ao Dow oY get hone! sbundoning ll terest nating bese ne st lace is altnot Zen ka 2 You pt bee BY not ying 0 get tener. How sts pose! The Wa 10 Rae ‘Youve anges your Focus. Youre conceatnting 0 the pro ea not he frau By amending Yo the ongoing performance instead of te apie the cura to come, yw chang the ime fram ne os an ever win 0 ne YOU me I wy Tso doi, ou cic yo erosous ete ence ae fx al, Yor how can tener expectations wher selene ny aaltepet proces? IE cea le 00 new-age foe yo, then Nei le for now. Buss the cp ol by. and aera 2 ghee plete jus concent on geting tiem dope Ista 38 Pose, ec questnsof quay om Your aie Your petormae ei Improve, Cami. "Pres ot produc. Focar on ths. Ie eter words, CONCENTRATE ON THE TASK AT HAND Cceeswvey of competion sometines Ines. Much AS we ty to old we cant bp comparing ourches to cthers and me ing or progess aplnt theis sata, eveable, Ang, recs tb cst th ‘Spee you gtd roma fend whut bees fred aig you rely weed sd knew su ould do ute Ww. Fen 46 ou cengatlan bi, you migh: fd youself wonderigg iy, iy tn? anf cnet the lef ou wong souks Ll your rate poe eouny ery, deapae er nogauve fein et xough the ind io & eoraeting Hck don, How cas you be anny ith al hat tin yout henge You go tcc he one thing you can corto-oRc on he page, cans te seth pad, Whatever By cocenN og the tsk at han, ou egies that cee comsetve ap uy ‘your mind The, ving shel mal ck of we yn fof sheer sthbermes you ue your paste wnflxcenen! not and nyt yunel, ey, dis dni of wore ot fai bad Sue, omen othe: an wan, bua lat ave a ‘ood oat” “Aa vig oud some da thing o fed goo os, op anprove you sarge duce your ny, ose your I" i"We Come Toot etalon, and ase the level ey confidence This makes it povsle co atend eo the ae kx hd, the est oko {aph 0: craving oF zoo or waives "This wc on sal banks. And the tsk-at-tan’ ol relks Realy on hein dcusoe atthe outdo worl oe fw does ene Now, you kb sp vow tat ha ete Arthe end ofthe day when the eae all itn, the canoons dain tat have you te west bls to py, dd nates Sons to heap ening bates he neighbors, sl Ya Ing ain forests, and tac ageng uncoived question of wheter Teno i beer than eran ut one of ha aes when Yeu in dhe 2002 ‘hen you're coneenrating othe tle a andl the ousie vod uly ces fot ens You ge a2 ek OF good work pat Yousel an the buck for thar leo good work, than. ang at ‘in, peason othe ne peo er, baer equipped an ee to win Ths co the ons conker cue another. Thos des he Stake swallow te ow Soon wel be moti op ode concrete oot of eames the sot srutrl st you probe boogie ais oak foe ‘he fe pace. You ay thik thar howe ten are the only ones ‘hse mater You ney ck hc Fe one a lot of dean ol werd to ces an enc eonment in whic hose (ane vse wit unhepl pecans, poate, gute, oF ‘there: Would eyo feel eer 0 nos tha Fe geting ail by te wore? Thats the joke anew, The real aver he about te prepa mitnal ging the os mses uo, Uses ys fit ae eon’ a Fi the ars wich lnhioa cetivty, you wont be ey at al, You il be wasted onrmney otk espace Tsar he, ping ewan your Face not bd ig, ‘om good thin Aten in fg fw you re mcg ‘wat, an pring orwadisal st ealy mater. Hesember at Stairs get cies one sep t= ie Now tht wee als lunes oeeated, et ok st how we can get suc dana Boe rus out of ur abo Ta other ord. exoush yaieg, tere comes the hardware 3 THE COMIC PREMISE “The conde pres 6 the ap between come ray ar ea ‘esi. ‘Any ine eu lave a come vote chk cr wold oe ade took a thi stom a skewed point few, Yu awe * gap bermees eis Comedy ive nt pp “Te come premise, or exarple, Bache tees the spp erwcer the cmc realy of ts aves 1950 werk ad the rea sea of arty Fy Thm, Rom Reagan Pet dent oe it est people tng inthe 195 Reagan's Fasc co Tt Ek pl tena els ‘comic pense 1 aici you can see the conse prem ithe sp be- seen Yous wed ew, im sie, but wate Decay sl evenone he's wed ew, "Were erry, Du ew be Im ae come stip Paras to take «my lifeent example, ‘here's ap bern Spoopy's wel” ely“ + dopa hi comic realty “bev Werld War ijng ice Yeu don have 1 Jol at roves or Doaks or even eo ps Bid te gp fine comic preate sight down there te ele ke, the ga th yom "an bad see yo “eite™ 1 erat ‘The peri iference etcen emerson —‘he Come ocean ‘ulsey—and 3 some ean —maeisge—for at hag had se. he come premise exis in ll come nutes, 0 mater how lage oe srall. ven the Jovy pon 8 3 fancon ofthe ap ‘eee the eal ety fhe way you expect 1 cera wad to bene and tne comic aly ofthe way tend up behaving Inde ke Arar wh yp me and said, ‘haven Yad ‘ab neh" 80 1 We expect the word oe to rele 9 food. Thats rel fealty. But whe seen elersto agree bbw este Stone conk ai Therap. ete, Dobe. The television sees Hort and mindy established the gp Inscen the “eal” ele of Me's world and the conic ely lt orks Ie The Wonder Yours weibe presence os mura a2 dul ooking hack at is choc that mrs the nore Sow. The map her i Herve wht = hd noms and wa 30 ‘adult has learned fo expres ‘Can you fad the come premise geting cars! You bet your dolla faye you ca. Cosier the flowing ita to yr bt yar ene ae ben ou pe th car. "1075 want Here the sap opens beeen te necpienty eal ely, ection of eo! wthes andthe sender com rely a ny fowes “oes thurbers wigs, ae amore high oa ace lac often dss te gp erly, berween realy a ty, ‘arcculsry a ven cancer comi feo interpret fe ‘eal ated i Whats Te See Le of Wer Myc {cise along the yap between Sty ner meld and che outer ‘ota he refines to ataonledge? ven ies an ete conic preme Suppose you ence Tr Come Poe (ered rey vel ees Spy crunch, Pra pe. ‘Would you not expec this hook o boa comic sey or per hapa dither bof yes i= becabe of th gp bac al resi Gedous roel, ein ies) and cea ey te: the aoke me) Non yo may ikea tis i eon anal tt bee wide Once yu eognize de gp ofthe come pers, ou Sona seit ser iy to tht rsss your pa. Ara ‘once ou soso kin every stuns, youl ga = ee the proces, ot seeing in expetend tatons Dat Ineestng in coo stations of Your Own cnsrocon. That's ‘when the conc preciue ors bln naledses nen ex. ‘ike ants Davin lke 00 ‘Otay 0 ets do e's oe he comic preie a ol to create comic tuntons In Fat, well do ce once ght nom Se agin ner in the chapter afer we've broen the ectse rem imo component pars Down the et se othe page, ‘rie eel ee, The, clown he sete pgs {em comedies ta cee with ther. Hee you beg e ‘member tas he process noc the product a ames. Yau ‘wont be gk wont go.on your permaner recon ae ne ‘es det cou pc a treats etna ‘Hing done as quickly an possible so we can pstom Fld sew to gt you sured going te zoe stoping fr Us aeopsopsa pickup tick fle space she ana ca woken by 2 ‘nmigs gh avy, we su ooking for someting weed cre net comic ata, one way 0 sbi pcbem st 2‘ie Come Feazon ton about whats expected and hen insert che oppose Ig school shop cas tug by Abe sening to 2 mptony danangtos symphony youn gcc aby Deon it icyou goles yor Seay oy yoy ping ora i xt wag way bts Jou ne gue uh anc en ch some Jono he nti Wit yada pe latins muon gr Te men ome id Fncson bs tang eld Geo: pene sad oye Sin nag et re cet en sop Shige Ths haw we tmenteir isc merous Wattage sae ee Som neces seleirg Sen conic ee 0 atop een sal enya con ayo ons are ae ‘isn on onc ante pre os ge ae octagon cons ‘THREE TYPES OF COMIC CONFLICT In ssc dramae ttre there ae tree types of cone: man gust maze mn ait a, a sagas eo Since com Sef often jm de oe i us atch, a ome ay hope sure that thse thee level of confi ext {eon scr, to. Youll fad your come prembe ot ote, 0, on ll hice levels of co Tae Conse Faces ‘The fs pe of cm oe, vcd lob cone, the ‘nls tween people ad Use worl Tie en ca eat (of noma chars is coi worl ofa emis chance 2 ona, wood Spe Ponte? ct wal 2 oem charace 3 conn World tars forthe der 4 ewer listener andrepeevents ra ely The sane ings hie in repute the comic ely n ch tb are, Many Mey is nomal character ia semi wed Sane ih (Connect Yate iy Artur Char ae wh canon ‘aac gay: Sane 9a ll Gaby when he ace is uty ends, at bor, Olt Weed atl, ‘Aenmic urate in normal moron tbe er i ‘ese ec ems mis .In Tooite, en cae Dey becomes Dery Shae He ua int a const carte Hi weal as tgs his ovm act of aeformon has cree he eomie pei ‘When Rot Willan does sncup comedy, be ess is buat by looking the sagt ina bere wey. Can tis it Cony, wh Took at Bot we ina stn ys the ilerence Dewees a cone character it a nom! wed ad {nonna eharicer ia a om Wark ‘Global cof is fen seca coli ht pis a nd ‘ial agains whole socal suc In Sie Bl sry gain the US Army Th Pa ier Sos Sergean le "pnw the US Any tn Pate enfants Ge Hew ga the US Aon. Does ae pth epee ha he US Amy a Dickes on? Wel, doy been picking onus i yee a ee) His Cops ke My versus the sla. elle In Mr Se Goes 9 asin, fay Stevan ves placa “Thisis heal cones, So lookin ck x ou ast exerci, We ci now elite as follows: Crate scons tunica tat ind is ee hed ‘confi. Yas cree a nora character,» business, 5) and then you ovate scalar aga which i ie Bae ‘the IS au ni he “Orrense it Lt cust fice ee rexel mel om snd este amie chante se ane sy eure ey ae, etn esata) aie Ley we [3| Tee Come Toons docs ow to pet more pane at of hes tuations fo 9, {enough 0 know tot thie sot fcc exis Greate 3 few new comle promos bul enticely on goal cont and cee he exer ne tat youve moe the focus iy mary i Fs 4 bumiling sens atc wth a chemical fem A renczade rock stirs phn ine muse eaasmens ‘an verge oe ihe cy hal ‘town ticles an ae arson A teacher kes the atoo esa 2 schoo falls pet qe tow pineal Notice that hes cfc sre rely some, Vat hay 1. few chaptets wel Fave a the one We ned CO tan any conf inp 3 comic one fox nom, lets move ont the second Supe of conic, soerpsonat er ol eof, baler bere seal There ae mo pes flac] confi. One pits 2 come ch acter Agito chars, the aber ids come cha feces oppostion te bath cis, the conics eween people ‘ho have anemone They cate about each he Tis loesn' mean tha they ove cach er o een ike each oe “They may ote each es Dt hey ety ce, Tas wpa ses this so of conic ro the eft Detcen, y3 cop and con att ike the say, The tine persona ‘Mork ancl Mindy ae ptr amples ofa comic cheater essa nara hater Meri dbecaic realy whe Mens Is ea. The gap between thereon she cone pee tthe shew lic nd Oxcr in Ta Oi Couple on the othe bam, te comic chants in epestion Hach 3 strong cone ry, acl hese comic ele ish hank This wl be ade leer Re Coue Pes the nor chpter won me lk about come cst ee Te ge ening fi no categories, but wane when things dont fam cargoes What ato What tut Bo 2s tm Riad Dress weld cla si a Muay ie worden Neral character vermsscose cheater oF comic charac opposer? Who knows Mowe che pi, who cues Theta wee sing here led casa: Ws el ur ei toak Png ngs mo carer fen helps ore sce {he things mre Cary. bt ps everthing rn grin ad inthe anda You get ore squished pigeons aor oF 2 Show cea shat dlr on cacti, dots Ase ascover soca the bt comely crosses las of dion Lis ackle oncom premise exec ai, oa thsi creat cm pretias ca cone carter ta eh) ‘Src andon conic ehacers in oppstin, Ove example Svomt work row bewtse dis 4 aracer Yeas wer an the emotional avesen if Bat make the US age heen ‘ve of the nema an you'we pt aly ral coc. A soa guy cal wth a cray seo A sole anda pi goto wae ‘Reonsevate fate ten 2 bere Son ‘A wld genie poss problems for her tr 2 prodeanls pop fn forces Node once gin by rch caso tito ma eis wg you Rave mens precse quasions to ask Sat Wik he quem, Dnt enc emi? and wo under stat with "Wat confit betwee cca carte and cone daraae” and ‘you'e already ato specs. You're moving conaed deta \°