NLP Tip: The Power of Letting Go - Part Two publication date: Sep 2, 2007

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author/source: Jamie Smart - www.saladltd.co.uk

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In Part One of this article we explored something that can make a big difference in helping you to get what you want –
letting go of attachment to outcome. This means being ok with the idea of things not turning out the way you want them
to. Here are some more tips to make it easier to detach from a burning desire to meet your goal.

4) Think of the goals you’ve set where you just knew it was going to happen…and then it did.

Everyone has examples of things that just came together, almost effortlessly – times when you knew you were going to
get what you wanted, so were able to relax. When you just know it’s going to happen, it’s easier to relax about it (I
suspect that this is the case for anyone who’s learned to walk or talk.)

5) Think of an occasion where you wanted one thing, didn’t get it, then got something even better.

Even if you can’t think of a specific example of where things turned out way better than they would have if you got things
the way you wanted, you can understand the idea. The world can be modelled as a large, complex system, with its own
logic and intelligence. If you act as though the system always has your best interests at heart, then you’ll always get
good results (even when you don’t get exactly what you wished for.)

6) Relax. Burning desires are tense; detachment is relaxed and open.

When you are in a state of relaxed alertness, you have more of your resources available to you to act. As it happens,
one of the key attributes of the most successful persuaders and influencers is that they put people at ease, and the
quickest way to help someone else to relax is to be relaxed yourself.

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Relaxed Influence

I was once doing an ‘important’ deal, and I was experimenting with detachment. I’d been speaking to this person over
several months, and at a face to face with them I decided to test detachment from the result (ie. closing the deal.) Every
time I found myself worrying about closing the deal, I just relaxed and told myself “It doesn’t matter, everything’s OK”
and put my attention back on the prospective client. The result was that I was able to be far more resourceful and
adventurous than I had been, and I won the deal.

NLP Tip: Summary

4) Think of the goals you’ve set where you just knew it was going to happen…and then it did.

5) Think of an occasion where you wanted one thing, didn’t get it, then got something even better.

6) Relax. Burning desires are tense; detachment is relaxed and open.

7) Put 100% awareness into what you’re doing.

Letting go of attachment to outcome means…relax.

• NLP Tip: The Power of Letting Go - Part One

• NLP Tip: What Do You Want?
• NLP Wealth Tip #15 - Use Goals to Massively Increase Your Results
• NLP Wealth Tip #16 - Use Interim Goals Where Necessary
• NLP Tip: Hidden Benefits
• NLP Tip - Three Obstacles to Mastery - Part Three
• NLP Tip - Taking the Lead
• NLP Tip: Three Obstacles to Mastery - Part One
• NLP Tip: Connecting with Rapport
• Happiness Tip 33 - There is No Good Reason To Be Unhappy
• NLP Tip - Introduction to Pacing and Leading - Building Rapport
• NLP Audio: Meditation Exercise
• NLP Tip: The Ultimate Goal – Part Two
• NLP Tip - Three Obstacles to Mastery - Part Two
• NLP Video: Clean Language & Epistemological Metaphor - An Introduction - Part Two - Norman
Vaughton
• NLP Video: Look Forward to Goals & Back for Progress
• NLP Video: The Swish Pattern with Dieting - Peter Freeth
• NLP Wealth Tip #13 - Today’s Actions Are Tomorrow’s Habits
• NLP Video: Everyday Hypnotic Handshake

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• NLP Audio: The Crucible Demo - Part Two - Dr. L. Michael Hall
• NLP Wealth Tip #51 - The Life You Desire is Closer Than You Think
• NLP Audio: Meta Model - A Means B and A Causes B
• Happiness Tip 51 - Awaken From the Dream
• NLP Video: Calibration Skills - Jonathan Altfeld
• NLP Video: Chunking - Up to Motivate, Down to Demotivate - Jonathan Altfeld
• NLP Audio: The Interconnected Mind & Body - Peter Freeth & Jamie Smart
• NLP Audio: Noticing Metaphoric Language - Peter Freeth
• NLP Audio: Eliciting Deep Values Demo - Part One
• NLP Video: One Question for Business Conferences - Jamie Smart and Peter Freeth
• NLP Audio: Introduction to Mind Lines - Dr. L. Michael Hall
• NLP Video: State Defined - Part Three - Layering Meta States - Dr. L. Michael Hall
• NLP Audio: You Can't Put Nominalisations In A Wheelbarrow
• NLP Tip: Dealing with Difficult People
• NLP Audio: New Information Changes The Meaning
• NLP Wealth Tip #47 - Eliminate All Limiting Beliefs
• NLP Video: The Crucible Demo - Part One - Dr. L. Michael Hall
• NLP Video: The Importance of Negotiation - Simon Hazeldine
• NLP Audio: SCORE Model - Demo - Part One
• NLP Video: Eliciting Values - Romance & Flirting - Jonathan Altfeld
• NLP Video: Trance Induction - True, True, True, Suggestion - Peter Freeth
• NLP Tip - Wot’s Innit For Me??? - Part Two
• NLP Video: Resourceful Learning State - Peter Freeth
• NLP Tip: You Are Already Here
• NLP Wealth Tip #12 - You Only Fail if You Refuse to Learn
• NLP Audio: Eliciting Deep Values Demo - Part Two
• NLP Wealth Tip #23 - Expenses Expand to Meet Income, so Plan to Have a Surplus
• NLP Audio: Negotiation - Some Other Definitions - Simon Hazeldine
• NLP Wealth Tip #29 - Say Positive Things to Yourself
• NLP Video: Eliciting Values - Bridging Conflict - Jonathan Altfeld
• Happiness Tip 49 - How Much Would You Do For Someone You Really Love?
• NLP Video: Pacing an Audience
• NLP Audio: Techniques are Crutches and Useful Tools
• NLP Video: A Structure for Change - Tom Dotz
• NLP Wealth Tip #17 - Ask 'How' Questions
• NLP Audio: What's Your Core Question - Evaluating Usefulness - Part One - Steve Andreas
• NLP Audio: Become Familiar with Success
• NLP Audio: How is the Third Position Valuable? - Peter Freeth
• NLP Video: Negotiation - Step 2 - Power - Part Four - Time - Simon Hazeldine
• NLP Audio: Get Into A Magical State - Dr. L. Michael Hall
• NLP Audio: Overview of 7 Negotiation Steps - Simon Hazeldine
• NLP Audio: Introduction to Chakras
• NLP Video: Clean Language & Epistemological Metaphor - An Introduction - Part One - Norman
Vaughton
• NLP Video: Hypnotic Handshake Induction - Michael Watson
• NLP Audio: Watson's Elman Induction - Michael Watson
• NLP Audio: The Importance of Negotiation - Simon Hazeldine
• NLP Wealth Tip #11 - It’s OK to Want What You Want
• NLP Wealth Tip #44 - Produce More Than You Consume
• NLP Video: Anxiety - Self Installation - Andrew Austin
• NLP Tip - Trust Your Unconscious - Part Two
• NLP Video: Negotiation - Step 2 - Power - Part Three - Knowledge, Size & Legitimacy - Simon
Hazeldine

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 • NLP Audio: Anxiety - Guilt & Punishment - Andrew Austin
• NLP Video: Watson's Elman Induction - Michael Watson
• NLP Video: Anchoring - Jonathan Altfeld
• NLP Video: Identity & Referential Index - Part One - Andrew Austin
• NLP Audio: Instant Happiness - Part Two
• NLP Audio: Connecting Purpose and Meaning
• NLP Tip - Speaking Their Language - Part Three
• NLP Audio: Cool Moves in Business
• NLP Wealth Tip #35 - Activate Your Millionaire Motivation
• NLP Audio: Metaphors for Purpose
• NLP Video: The Interconnected Mind & Body - Peter Freeth & Jamie Smart
• NLP Audio: Instant Happiness - Part Six
• NLP Audio: Perceptual Positions - Reframing - Peter Freeth
• NLP Audio: Instant Happiness - Part One
• NLP Audio: Instant Happiness - Part Five
• Video: Negotiation - Step 2 - Power - Part One - Physical & Mental
• NLP Video: Get SORTed for Coaching - Peter Freeth
• NLP Audio: Ambiguity Language Patterns
• NLP Audio: Negotiation - Step 3 - Shopping List - Simon Hazeldine
• NLP Video: The TOTE Model
• NLP Video: Anxiety - Ball Exercise - Andrew Austin
• NLP Video: Definition of Coaching - Dr. L Michael Hall
• NLP Audio: How Do You Know Which Words To Use?
• NLP Wealth Tip #41 - What the Thinker Thinks, the Prover Proves
• NLP Audio: Feeding Back Their Gestures
• NLP Tip - Wot’s Innit For Me??? - Part One
• NLP Video: Negotiation - Step 3 - Shopping List - Simon Hazeldine
• NLP Video: Some Key Points for Negotiating - Simon Hazeldine
• NLP Audio: State Defined - Part Three - Layering Meta States - Dr. L. Michael Hall
• NLP Audio: The Unsticker - Speedy Business Preparation - Peter Freeth

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