Personality Development

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Module 5 – Social Grace

Social graces, more popularly known as good manners and etiquette is not a "put-on" or "add-on" to
one's personality. It should be part of the character of a person.

"Manners, says Webster, "are social conduct or rules of conduct, as shown in the prevalent customs:
habitual deportment, especially with reference to polite conventions. Consideration for others is the basis of
good manners. Some questions you can use as guides before acting are: “Does it make people comfortable
and happy?" "How does this action affect others?"

"Manners" are also based on past social customs. The conditions that caused these manners to be
proper no longer exist, but the manners continue to exist. An example given by Newton and Green in their
book "How to Improve Your Personality” is the origin of the rule that a man should walk on the curb side of
the street when he is with a woman. According to them this started during the “horse buggy and days when
the man's staying along the curb protected the woman horses. For custom's sake, how to do with ease what
is expected. When from ever, this is still being observed.

Knowledge of good manners give people increased self-confidence. It comes from knowing wnat is
expected of one in a given situation and of how manners become second nature to a person, he increases
his sense of security, poise, self-confidence, and self-respect. Manners make a difference with how people
feel about you. In this way it becomes part of your personality be. cause it, in turn, makes people react to
you in a peculiar way.

Etiquette consists of an "act of rules of living in our society." These rules make us more comfortable
and reflect a feeling of what is right toward others. Only the most unusual person, for one reason or another,
completely disregards rules of etiquette with impunity. This person, however, becomes a most un-
comfortable one to be with.

The two most widely read and most researched volumes on etiquette are Amy Vanderbilt and Emily
Post. For questions on which fork or spoon to use at what affair and what dress to wear to what occasion,
you can refer to their voluminous books for guidance. Sometimes though, these are more suited to foreign
situations, so proper on adaptation based common sense should be made.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES:

At the end of this module, you should be able to:

 Describe a “finished person”;
 Enumerate examples of proper manner and etiquette in the family and in public places; and
 Discuss the importance of social grace.

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Discussion Proper

STARTING TO BE “FINISHED”
You must prepare yourself to take advantage of the wonderful opportunities available, opportunities
far beyond the life of domesticity and limited social activity that the man/woman of only a generation or two
ago could expect. Fortunately, today's society generally allows a generous maturation period during which a
young man/woman may develop mentally, physically, culturally, and socially without the pressure of making
her own way. The span between the ages of twelve and twenty-five is the time in which you move through
the school years to independent adult living and begin to establish your life. As a young person today, you
have been born into a New era and you will want to take advantage of all it has in store.

You can acquire an education, a knowledge of the arts and can travel and experience social
interchange, so that you are an interesting conversationalist and an eager listener. You can also cultivate
simple graciousness and consideration for others. In addition to acquiring such knowledge and skills,
you should also be using this precious time to become comfortable with the social amenities, so that you will
be at ease no matter where you find yourself, and should learn to dress with individuality and good taste,
and to care for your body so that its vigor and beauty will endure.

These wonderful attributes will be at least partially wasted unless you can learn to get along
comfortably with a diversity of people and to cope with a wide range of situations. The most intelligent,
competent, talented, or beautiful women can fail to reach goals unless they are at ease with themselves
and are able to make those around them comfortable also. Promising careers social acceptance, marriages,
relationships, and even parenthood can become casualties of an individual's inability to establish rapport with
others.

One step in acquiring that essential rapport is to replace the self-absorption of childhood with a
genuine concern for others. While this concern must come from the heart, it is easily communicated by one
who possesses the correct social tools. There is no place for rudeness, crudity, even for indifference
or ignorance, in relationships between human beings. While elements of etiquette change with the times,
the fundamental code is timeless, based as it is on kindness and consideration for others. Etiquette is no
longer reserved for the privileged, but it is standard for society as a whole. It is just as important for the
young man/woman at the supermarket check-out, or the teenaged babysitter to know and observe correct
social usage, as it is for the rising young executive or the debutante. Remember that you are a role model
yourself, and you have many opportunities to raise the level of your social interactions.

SOCIAL GRACES AND ETTIQUETTE

Lord Chesterfield stated that ..."Good breeding is the result of much good sense, some good nature,
and a little self-denial for the sake of others, and with a view to obtain the same indulgence from them." It
is true that all civilized societies are built upon discipline. Since man is gregarious by nature and people meet
each other at all levels whether at home, at work and in everyday life we desire to comply with our personal
needs, which sometimes maybe contrary to others, thus results in conflict and tension. Hence, there are
certain unwritten guidelines that maintain the harmony in their relationships through etiquette we adhere to
conventional requirements of social behavior.

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It is a must to have the proper manner especially in front of others so as to be considered 'cultured'
and civilized. A personality is judged healthy and educated if it is carried according to the norms set by a
civilized society. Here are some practices that one has to develop and master especially during significant
occasions.

ETTIQUETTE
Rules of conduct in relationships were of necessity developed and refined through the ages. Each
generation has sought to transmit these niceties of life to its successors and to inspire the young to
even higher levels of culture and taste. Gradually the body of etiquette that is the standard for civilized people
has come into being. As you mend your way through the decade that connects child-wise. hood to maturity,
etiquette can serve as a road map, a set of directions to keep you from making the wrong turns,
from choosing a dead end, socially or career-wise.

The term etiquette seems stilted or phony, but consider that etiquette is merely a name for a pattern
of behavior that is based on consideration for others, appropriateness, and good taste, and which, once
learned, helps you to do the right thing in almost any circumstance.

The increasing appreciation of courtesy and proper personal conduct, especially among young people,
is one of the most encouraging trends of our time. Technically, the word etiquette comes from Old French,
and means "ticket" or "label.” The word etiquette originally meant the ticket of entrance to France's court
ceremonies - upon this ticket were written the rules of court behavior. A similar "ticket” also listed
the regulations to be followed within the walls of a feudal castle and was commonly found attached to a post
inside the courtyard. Therefore, those invited into the castle we’re not at a loss as to how they should behave;
all were put at ease, and business or social gatherings or ceremonies ran smoothly. Consider your knowledge
of etiquette as your ticket" of admission into the conventions of a polite and caring society. Consider it a
special pass that will enable you to relate to others with thoughtfulness and polished manners.

A. Smoking Etiquette
 Use an ashtray.
 Put out the stub.
 Do not throw cigarette butts on the floor.
 Throw cigarette butts in proper places.
 Don't smoke while walking.
 Never smoke in public vehicles.
 Be courteous to those who are sensitive to smoke.

B. Drinking Etiquette
 Don't create unpleasantness for hosts & companions.
 Drink in moderation.
 Drink slowly.
 Don't mix drinks.
 When you drink don't take sleeping drugs.
 Drink coffee to cure hangover.
 Call it a day when you feel you had enough.

C. Dating Etiquette
 Give a gift.
 Learn to appreciate.
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 Do not embarrass the other person if you don't really like him/her.
 Don't stay so late at night.
 Inform your parents.
 Don't be tempted by smoking, drinking, drugs and sex.
 Control yourself.
 Know the difference between being a young person and men and women who are
more emotionally mature and ready.
 Don't waste money.
 Plan ahead.

D. Party Etiquette
 Plan ahead.
 Make good food
 Don't over decorate.
 Relax
 Dress up well.
 Receive guests personally.
 Get conversation going.
 Play soft music
 Arrange party games.
 Appreciate hospitality.
 Be on time.
 Make new friends.
 Eat moderately.
 Do not overstay.
 Thank the host &hostess.

E. Phone Etiquette
 Greet the one you are calling.
 Caller should identify himself first.
 Modulate your voice & be articulate.
 Caller should end the call.
 Use good speech habits.
 Be helpful and accommodating.
 Avoid negative phrases.
 Say 'thank you and goodbye'.

Source: Samkar, 2004

HOW OFTEN DO YOU SMILE?

In the world of hospitality, nothing is a more natural way of communicating an attitude of cheer in
welcoming a guest and making him or her feel at ease than smiling. For a hospitality professional, smiling is
as natural as a fish swimming in the water. Smiling is an instant energizer. It makes you look approachable,
friendly, relaxed, open and comfortable. Smiling also It shows others that you have a sense of well-being
and that you enjoy life. improves your voice quality by relaxing your throat muscles. It also makes you look
younger.

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EYE CONTACT
If you want to look and sound sincere, maintain eye contact with the person you are speaking to.
Looking a person in the eye means that we acknowledge their presence and that you are listening to his or
her every word. Not maintaining eye contact is like saying "you are a non-person, insignificant."

The most valuable message of eye contact is recognition. A fleeting glance is not enough: On the
other hand, a penetrating glance means, you're overly interested in that person and may
be embarrassing and uncomfortable. Break eye contact frequently as you talk or listen. The best technique
is to look down to the side and then back. A polite listener will focus on the chin, mouth, or one side of the
other person's face. Rules of eye contact depend on one's culture. So be conscious of the rules.

SUGGESTED WORDS TOUSE OFTEN

1. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Add the person's name. Ex. Mr. Cruz, Mr. Santos, how
may I help you? What can I do for you? May I help you?

2. Please - yes, please... Could you wait for a few minutes, please? This sounds better than "wait for a
minute”.

3. Thank you… This is better than "thanks". Say thank you to your co-workers, to guests, to your
supervisor, to vendors, to anybody who does some- thing for you.

4. It's my pleasure. "It's my pleasure sir or ma’am," "You're welcome" or "You are very welcome."

5. "I am sorry". An apology is not used often enough when we acknowledge our fault. To be effective, it
must be sincere, personal and timely. Use the word "I", not "we" or "they". Say "I am sorry right away
to acknowledge that there is a problem and that we are going to solve it.

6. "I'll be happy to." conveys the message that we are giving this additional service happily and we are
going this extra mile for the guest. This could be an effective response to a customer's request.

7. Remember persons' names — A per- son's name is to him/her, the sweetest and most important sound
in any language. This is Dale Carnegie's advice (Mr. Public Relations himself). You can say, "Could you
help me pronounce your name please?" "Could you spell that for me please?" You may ask for business
cards or look at luggage tags, etc. Some rules are:
a. pay attention
b. repeat the name immediately
c. make a mental association - the name Candelaria could bring out an image of a candle, etc.

8. "Please, be my guest" ... you can say this when someone is borrowing some- thing that is yours.

Words to Avoid Use Instead

I DON'T KNOW LET ME CHECK

I CAN'T DO THAT LET'S SEE WHAT I CAN DO
YOU WILL HAVE TO WE CAN HELP YOU
NO YES, OR MAYBE, NO PROBLEM

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SOCIAL GRACES IN THE FAMILY

Many times the home is the place we “let go" so to speak. We are careless with the way we act or
with what we say, mainly because we are confident that we will be forgiven anyway. This is not a healthy
situation. It is at home that we should practice the social amenities of living. In that way, we will not
look awkward in public.

It is of paramount importance that we should respect the privacy of each member of the family. From
this will emanate an atmosphere of mutual respect, trust, and love. Examples of these are knocking before
entering the rooms, not opening the mail of others, not looking through another person's belongings, not
taking or "borrowing" articles without asking permission, not snooping or listening in to the conversation of
others either over the telephone or when one is entertaining in the house.

FAMILY MANNERS
Where there is life, there should be love. Especially family love. Love makes a house a home. Size,
color, location have nothing to do with the spirit that dwells inside.

A family and its manners are shaped by the quality of the spirit they share. A spirit based on love
makes a happy home and always produces good manners. When a child feels love, understanding and
genuine recognition, many of the problems of delinquency are avoided.

Second in importance to love in a family is communication. Families need to talk to each other, and
they need to talk honestly.

It is not always easy to be completely honest. Some things might seem embarrassing to us and we
would rather not discuss them. It might seem easier, at times, to tell a "white lie” and avoid the
truth. Honesty is always the best policy and the best manners, especially at home. Our manners and our
character are shaped at home.

Actually, there is no such thing as "a little white lie”. Little white lies grow into big black habits. We
can be sure that if someone lies to us, they will lie about us. Lying is already a disease that is best healed in
the beginning. Good manners are healthy.

SOCIAL GRACES IN PUBLIC PLACES

This includes behavior in the streets, on the bus, in restaurants, in church, in theaters and movie
houses, and in school.

In the street Have you ever felt frustrated when in a hurry and you could not walk past a group of
people walking across the sidewalk? I am sure When walking in groups do not walk more than two
abreast. Let others pass from behind you. No one has a monopoly of the sidewalk. When crossing the street,
the gentleman stands on the side of oncoming vehicles. As mentioned earlier, when walking along the
sidewalk, the man is on the curb side.

On the bus Time was when men had to give up their seats for the ladies. Today, times have changed.
This is no longer the rule. When women are working and fighting for equality in all fields of endeavor, they
have to pay the price in terms of less courtesies.

When entering a crowded bus, the women now stand just like the men. It is expected, however, that
should there be one available seat and a man and a woman are both eyeing that seat. the man should give
in to the woman.
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When women stand on the bus, they should keep their feet firmly planted on the floor, brace
themselves for sudden jolts and avoid embarrassment of falling on someone or flat on their faces. Should
she be carrying too many packages or books, perhaps it is wiser to ask the person seated near the aisle to
hold them for her in the mean time. If the woman is escorted by a man, the lady should climb onto the
bus first. In leaving, the man should precede the woman and extend a helping hand when she is getting off
the bus by holding her arm or supporting her elbow.

In a restaurant - Dining out is one of the “musts” in today's society. You dine out with school friends,
an acquaintance, your family, etc. If you are able to dine out graciously, people will find it a joy to eat with
you. Crude manners are the cause of embarrassment to people dining out with you. When entering the
restaurant, the man precedes the woman and leads her to a convenient place. If there is a waiter who comes
forward to attend to them, then the man steps back and lets the woman go first. When the seat has been
chosen, either the waiter or the man pulls out a chair and seats the woman.

The choice of a seat should depend on the view she will get. She should be by a window if there is a
view to see, or be able to look out into the main part of the restaurant. She should not be placed
where passing people may strike her chair, or facing a wall or a swinging door. When there is a group of
four, the women are seated on wall seats and the men on the aisle seats; the men opposite the woman. If
a younger couple dines with an older one, the older couple are given the wall seats. When one woman
is accompanied by two men, she seats herself between them.

For many years past, it was not in good taste for the woman to order directly. This rule is not followed
anymore, especially when there are more than two people eating. The women give their orders directly. The
waiter asks the women for their preferences and there is no reason why she should not answer him directly.

When the man is familiar with the restaurant and its specialties, he should suggest some choices to
her. If they are both unfamiliar, he should ask the waiter to recommend some of the specialties of the
restaurant. Unless a woman knows that an escort is well off, she should show some consideration for his
pocket and avoid asking for expensive items on the menu.

INTRODUCTIONS
Introductions are an important part of good manners and you must accept the responsibility and
perfect the skill of performing them with a natural ease. Act promptly to smooth the situation in someone
you know however slightly) joins a group in which you are a participant and is obviously uncomfortable. Even
if you do not remember his or her name, turn to the newcomer and say, “How nice to see you again. I'm
Maria Cruz. We met at Suzy's party.” The newcomer, grateful to be recognized, will then give his or her
name, and the rest is easy. Never ask, “You don't remember me, do you?” Should you bring a friend to a
gathering or meeting, it is your responsibility to introduce him or her at the door to the host or hostess and
to see that your guest is comfortably introduced throughout the event.

The important thing about introductions is that they have to be made. The wordings vary, but the
fact that you've made them is more important. Although rules for introductions have become less rigid,
nevertheless a form must be followed.

1. Mentioning name of person, you are honoring first

2. Business reversal of ordinary introduction
3. Acknowledging an Introduction
4. Shaking hands
5. Rising for an Introduction
6. Introducing oneself
7. When incorrectly introduced

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MANNERS AT THE TABLE

One of the most accurate measures of civilization - be it a society's, a family's, or an individual's - is
the way it feeds itself. Dining ranges from very formal situations (see picture below) to an ordinary, day-to-
day table amenity. Neatness, noiselessness, and sociability are the goals of dining etiquette.

Table manners, just like manners in other social situations, have changed significantly over the last
15-20 years. The uncompromising social code has gone forever and times demand that a fresh approach to
etiquette and good manners be adopted. The Victorian rules of how to wield a knife and fork at the table
and using that as a gauge of social status is gone. Informality prevails in table settings as well as
table manners.

Most parties now serve luncheons and dinners buffet-style and the most informal settings and dinner
ware. For small gatherings, however, the sit-down dinner may still be the correct thing. In these cases, there
are some guidelines to be observed in setting the table.

In sit-down setting, everything must be geometrically spaced; the center piece in the actual center,
the plates at equal distances and utensils balanced.

The centerpiece must not be too high that the guest cannot see over it. It can be flowers or fruit
arrangement distinctive conversation piece object.

In the placement of plates, about two feet from plate center to plate center is ideal. People can sit
closer together in a round table arrangement and where low-backed chairs are used. The silver is placed in
the order of its use, with the implements to be used first, farthest from the plate. The fork is to the left of
the plate, the knife to the right. with the cutting edge toward the plate. The spoon is placed to the right of
the knife. The dinner napkin is folded square and flat and laid on each plate. Napkins are placed at the side
of the fork only when it is necessary to put food on the table before seating the guests.

THE ARTF OF CONVERSATION

Auditory impressions are as important as visual ones. The tones of a lilting voice are as appealing as
dramatic coloring. An attractive, creative use of words is as interesting as smart accessories, and a lack of
vulgarity and grammatical error in daily speech is as important as fastidiousness of body and clothing.
You must also accept the fact that what you say is as significant as the way in which it is said. Being pleasant
and grammatically correct is not enough. Your conversation should be exciting, indicative of interesting
thoughts and opinions, amusing and original. Do not delude yourself that members of the opposite sex are
turned off by intelligence and thoughtfulness in their female friends. On the contrary, bright,
knowledgeable, articulate women are recognized as stimulating companions, wives, and business and civic
leaders.

In past generations, the dinner table was the source of mental as well as physical nourishment.
Current events. literature drama and other cultural topics were discussed as well as trivialities which are both
important to conversation. Today, incompatible individual schedules often lead to solitary meals and
television set often drowns out any attempts at important communication. Your life will be richer and more
meaningful if you talk to many kinds of people from all walks of life. Sophisticated people respect the political,
religious, cultural, and moral commitments of others and can listen to diverse opinions without anger, almost
everyone who is pleasant and sincere has something to offer that can widen your horizons.
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Sometimes people think polite conversation has to be boring and flat. Not at all. The most princely
conversationalists have always been thinkers, people delicate in their respect for the feelings of others, but
also, on occasion, colorful, funny, even uproarious, or politely dissenting. The best conversation has
sincerity and kindness. I have also noticed that people who believe it is worthwhile and fun to exchange
ideas, whether in serious discourse or chitchat, are so much more adept at it than those who scorn
conversation.

The first requisite for becoming a good conversationalist is to learn to be a good listener. Conversation
consists not only of talking but of listening discreetly, with unfaltering and constant attention. By giving
thoughtful consideration to what another is saying, you now only feed new facts and ideas into your
busy mind, but you also win the appreciation of the speaker. It is rude to interrupt a speaker, even one who
is rudely monopolizing the occasion with long-winded ramblings and repetitions. Never interrupt. By the
same token, never be guilty of delivering a monologue rather than engaging in a two-way conversation.

The three things you can talk about are: people, things, and ideas. Talking about people does not
mean gossip. It means lively talk about persons of general interest. You do not have to restrict your
conversation to "intellectual" topics - talking about the latest rock or movie star can be as enthusiastic. It
is easy to think of people to talk about. Listen to programs on radio and television, see interesting movies,
read a variety of books, magazines, and news- papers. And you can talk about people whom you know, as
long as you do not say anything about them that you would be embarrassed to say to them.

Things are the second subject area that is good conversation. Remember details of a trip, a building,
artworks, your hobbies, and hobbies of others. Talk about ideas that can be either wonderful or dangerous.
Politics can divide people quickly, as can religious beliefs. If you want to discuss current events, you must do
so in a low-key, objective way that will not offend others. It is better to open with, "What do you think about
our new President?” than "I think our new President is terrible (or wonderful)!” In conversing with close
friends, your you may innermost express thoughts and opinions, of course, with consideration and respect
for their beliefs.

Learn to talk about ideas without preaching or ramming your point of view down someone else's
throat. Talking about ideas include the weather, your surroundings, the arts, current or local happenings,
fashion, food, entertainment, diet, exercise, sports, and travel are all good topics.

Your main aim in conversation is to make others feel at ease; "breaking the ice and other difficult
situations will bring everyone a sense of comfort – feeling at home and having a good time. Often you say
to yourself, “What do I say?” Sometimes saying the least is many times the best.

Selflessness is conversation's cardinal rule. Some people think that an exchange should be practiced
in advance, but this is seldom called for. Rather, expand your horizons by extinguishing all thoughts of
yourself. Offer compliments and always accept one graciously. An interesting person is someone who is
interested in others. Ask questions about the other person, with- out overdoing it. Do not
flatter unnecessarily. When you give your opinion, it is always polite to follow with, “And what do you think?”
Certainly do not disagree with everything the other person says in an effort at sincerity. If the question is,
"do you like the theatre?" the answer is "no, I don't, but I love going to the movies.

Any topic can be friendly or unfriendly. Discuss dancing, for instance in a sharing way, communicating
your enthusiasm, and the topic is very friendly. But if you exhibit superiority, boredom, or impatience, the

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same topic becomes offensive. Body language – open posture, forward leaning, a light touch to an arm, eye
contact, a nod – can enhance the friendliness of the topic greatly.

There are also topics that must be avoided. Never ask a question you would not want to answer
yourself. The most obvious are very personal questions concerning marriage and divorce, death and disease,
or questions concerning the cost of one's things, personal income and expenditures. Other inappropriate
sub- jects are gossip and dirty or ethnic jokes. For the most part avoid obscure or difficult subjects - unless
of course, if you are talking to someone who is an expert on the subject.

When you hear the voice of prejudice from one-person group, let it be known that slurs, ethnic jokes,
name- calling, and the like are not your style and you are made uncomfortable by such hurtful
generalizations. Silence unfortunately, might be taken as agreement. At least try to gracefully change the
topic of conversation. You may say, “Let's change the subject please," rather than be aligned with this type
of conversation.

When in company, do not speak about a private matter or a mutual friend to others in attendance
know nothing about. If you wish to discuss such a subject, you must first give a bit of background information
in order that the others are not "left in the dark." Likewise, when someone new joins your group, always
draw him or her into the conversation by explaining the subject under discussion.

Do speak the truth. Never yield to the temptation to "color" or "pad” your conversation or to "top"
another's story by saying things that are not true. Do not "toot your own horn," that is, brag or boast about
yourself or your accomplishments.

When several people comprise a conversational group, make an effort to look at each person during
the conversation. Direct some part of your talk, whether a statement or anecdote, to each one individually
in turn. Never place your hand at the side of your mouth to shield something you are saying from the ears of
another in the group – or in the room for that matter. Anything said in a group must be said to all present.
Otherwise, it is a private matter and should be reserved for private discussion.

Share the conversational stage and even take a minor role, thereby making stars of the others you
should never try to "steal the show," by always being the wittiest or by topping the stories told by others.
Allow others a turn at gaining a laugh or two or adding their "two cents worth.” Try to build upon the remarks
of others. The slightest comment by the shy conversationalist might reveal his or her favorite topics,
thereby opening up a stimulating conversational partner.

Be a conversational "fisherman.' “Fish” for topics until your conversational partner “bites” and
the topic is devoured "hook, line, and sinker." Keep a mental “bag” of topics from which to select at a
moment's notice.

SOCIAL HEALTH

Social Health is the ability to get along with people around you. You can make and keep friends, offer
and get help when it is needed. You are socially healthy if you possess the following characteristics:

Can accept differences in other people.

Get along with family members.
Meet people easily.
Have at least one or two close friends.
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Can accept other people's ideas and suggestions when they are working in a group.
Can make friends with people of both sexes.
Continue to take part in an activity even when other people disagree about what to do.

Social health is directly related with your relationships with other people. These are the connections you
have with other people and groups in your life. These connections are based on how you relate to, or act
toward, others. Key skills of social health should be learned. They are communication, compromise and
cooperation (Merki 1999). One should learn to balance relationships to prevent failure and conflict.
Furthermore, it is a necessity to learn how to accept differences because people are not created with equal
abilities and characteristics. Tolerance should be developed by accepting and respecting other
people's beliefs and customs. This will help you recognize that different people have the right to express
themselves in ways that may be different from your own and you recognize that people are more alike than
they are different. You have to learn to understand other people's views and develop respect for them.

Self-Assessment Questionnaire

THOUGHT QUESTIONS…

Read the cases below and analyze whether given behavior should be socially accepted or not.
Justify your answers.

CASE #1. Lisa is a born introvert who loves all sorts of black. She does not enjoy being with other people
whether they are familiar or not. Her ways are not according to pre-approved norms or basically what
is considered normal. Often when she is frustrated with how others such as her schoolmates would
react on her ‘get up’ or even her practices she would just ‘freak out’ and utter wicked words. For
somebody who loves being unique will you consider her ‘abnormal’ or not normal? Why?

____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________

CASE #2. Harry is an educated, ‘cultured’ man who got a serious problem with his Visayan accent.
Considering that he is a respected manager in his company he knows well his speech problem. Hence
he sorts of developed and kept to himself his ‘immense insecurity’. Do you think he does not deserve
to be a manager in his company and a respected man for his evident flaws? Why?

____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________

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 Personality Development

Summary

Social graces, more popularly known as good manners and etiquette is not a "put-on" or "add-on" to
one's personality. It should be part of the character of a person. "Manners, says Webster, "are social conduct
or rules of conduct, as shown in the prevalent customs: habitual deportment, especially with reference to
polite conventions.

You can acquire an education, a knowledge of the arts and can travel and experience social
interchange, so that you are an interesting conversationalist and an eager listener. You can also cultivate
simple graciousness and consideration for others. In addition to acquiring such knowledge and skills,
you should also be using this precious time to become comfortable with the social amenities, so that you will
be at ease no matter where you find yourself, and should learn to dress with individuality and good taste,
and to care for your body so that its vigor and beauty will endure.

Rules of conduct in relationships were of necessity developed and refined through the ages. Each
generation has sought to transmit these niceties of life to its successors and to inspire the young to
even higher levels of culture and taste.

Auditory impressions are as important as visual ones. The tones of a lilting voice are as appealing
as dramatic coloring. An attractive, creative use of words is as interesting as smart accessories, and a
lack of vulgarity and grammatical error in daily speech is as important as fastidiousness of body and
clothing.

References

 Santos, Amparo E. Personality for Today’s Young Professional Third Edition

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