MaWdS/ADWN-IANSINHOZSOd SAILIVAO] STEISIANI INVISIBLE LOYALTIES IVAN BOSZORMENYI-NAGY GERALDINE M. SPARKInvisible Loyalties Reciprocity In Intergenerational Family Therapy Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagiy, =v. Professor and Chie of Family Thrary Secon, Departent of Mena Health Senco, Hitasmana University, Phadlpla, ensylvaniy ‘Dresor, laste for Contestl Grove, “Ambler, Pensslanis Geraldine M. Spark, nsx. Clisiat Assinar Profesor, “Hatuetsann Univers, Philadephia, Ponasyivanis BRUNNER/MAZEL Amamber ofthe Talon & Francis Group“erable eg ead mts Hao, a Ti ea ae gt io hae CComyight® 1988 ty Ivan Bosrommeny:Nagy and Geraie M. Spek A member ho Tor & Frans Got ‘i hanvsy Rot Sle non, PA 087-4700 No fs er aye pdb ny poses atone Ro SER petae Sh eprops ome wooar Contents PREFACE sit FOnEWoRD six |. CONCEPTS OF THE RELATIONAL SYSTEM 1 ‘The Clinical Significance ofthe System Outlook ° ‘The Moro Tt Chenges the More I Is the Same Thing 4 Conservative Modorasm: Eseae from Privacy 2 1 There Room for Objective “Realty” in Close Relations? “4 What Is the Objestive Reality of the Person? 6 2 THE DIALECTIC THEORY OF RELATIONSHIPS 6 Felatonal Boundaries a ‘Obligation Hierarchy and "Iateralization of Objects” 95 Power Versus Obligation ns ARternate Bases for ‘Accounting 26 Surface-Depth Antithess 23 Retsfutive Dynamnie Bass of Leaming 3 Individuation oF Sepsration? 3 Dovetiling between Systems of Merit Accounting 3 General Implications uM 3. LovaLTY or ‘The Invisible Fabric of Layaty so [Needs of the Individual Versus Noeds of the Meltiperson Stem 8et Contents “Teansgencttional Accounting of Obligations and Merit Guilt snd Bthieal Implications Intergenratonal Straturing of Loyalty Cones 4. susttCe AND SOCIAL DYNAMICS Fries and Rept : Poista Voss Stu Espotsin/ Qunttave AspetlSytem Levels of Boakeepiae synced ant fl Conant of Sail his Boule bina croup tora ‘Pebjncs of the Human Wes nd th Heolving Sate eid ses ad Prmarel Theory From Tali to Dine Jae Era Hoplcation ofthe Dynamic Viw o Juste Teal Yasue CaetiveAceocnay inddul acd Setgenertnn Acsoutebiiy How Objerne sn Mar Asoog Be? ‘The Spe Poston fb Fey Puce Cull odors Elion borer Rie Note on Prot Therpeate Impostons Further ipltons 5. BALANCE AND IMBALANCE IN RELATIONSHIPS Relational Malfunction nd Pathogenicity “The Burden of Keeping the Accounts of ‘Advantages/Patterns of Loyalty Confit in ‘Moninge/Therapeutie Potential ofthe Distct Balanee of Loyalty Obligtions/The Child's ‘Autonomy Redefined (Developmental Di "Traitor A Tragi Tom ofthe light Facing the Leger Repudiation/ Forms of Relational Stagnation Overt Tatlue (Datoylly to Self)/Seruel Fours os Covert Tnroseleed Loyalty Confit Fresing of the Taner Sulfate! Loyalty Obtsined atthe Expense of Vertical Disloyolty/Achicooment as Relational 46 8 aL ae no Contents of Stagnation; Money ava Systm Dimension Subsite Forms of tndivect Mastery Nogatioe Loyaly/Soeviced Social Deslopment ar Act of Latent Devorion/Spliting of Lovalty/Senipulation Of Displaced Retribution/Tncestoous Attempts at Reolution of Obligatione/Gualt against Qult/On Repaying the Therapie im Thansference/Liberation of Siblings through Suicide Limits of Change in Systeme Sosital Myths and Loyaltios Conclusions 6. PARENTIFICATION Possession and Loss of Loved Ones arentintion and Role Anigament ‘Manifest Caretaking Hate/Sasal Roe Nowrl Parentifeation and Pathogenicity in Relationships ‘Systems of Coranitments The Relational Foundations of Parentifsstion “The Hole of Choice in Commitment Commitment as 4 Syinmetical Process (Dllogue)/Commitment to Society at Lange nd Parentigeation/Comitaest end “Symbiotic” Dediferentiation Fusion) Loyalty Commitment snd Morality Implications for Therpy and Conesions PSYCHODYNAMIC VERSUS RELA Esrouiones RELATIONAL DYNAMIC Relational and Psychoanalytic Concepts: Convergencos ‘and Diversences ‘Needs Versus Mest as Motves/Substitutve Balancing {Loyalty Implications of te Transference Modal in Peychothersy ‘Multiparon Versus One-Person Sircturing of Motivations/Individuetion: Difeentiaton or ‘Bstungement/faternal Versus Contextual Confrontation/Symptom as Layalty/Teansference within the Fanaly/Clinial Hustration Concusions us Ne ry 1s 155 158 138 188 163 165 1st sr 119 290‘it Contents Contents ix 1 OF A WORKING ALLIANCE BETWEEN st nd Rte D ond Ras el 8 FORMATION Od SNOTEMT AND THE FAMILY te ond Her hehorsascn 8 Nose SysTEM, 12 Mother/Sexion #5: Albert and Rose ond Rove’ nee ve Mote Sston #6: se ond Herth Fay 24 Description of the Faxnilies: Initial Projection of Problems Session #1: Ruth S and Her Father and Be se saan 195 other Ssion #2 Bob ond Rath Seton #3 sella tp nthe Working Alinco 108 (heat Wests Rut, Bob me ths Pathe Secin 4 ingen cod Progroe ior Collinge Bb, a younger Bethe yond Fe ays Cnty for Wost/Cansnsat Tt ater . Seecment Symptons Rael Coma nich ad Tears Renin te Cleans ou a Penta Heteees 10. CHELDREN a ‘ "Funly Expectatons/ Ambivalnt Attudes/Superezo Fauna ee eceee een eee one aa uly Esc Af ied Poel (aed Lean Bass Tat and Loyalty ca Seats SC Famiy Sytons Pot af Vow Cotherapy Team as a System 8 ‘Symptomatology in tren a ete a unl Sytem and It Eot/Case Soiganents of Rls to Guides a Prosonatons The 8 Family (The Contract with the S Parenifed Childken: The Family Worse / Th eat TFomily) Caze Presentation: The B Family? Diseussion Assresive or Scapegoated Children/Children es Goncsions aa Scsulaed Patore Fumi Pa” Chil/Gxe aston ofthe ad eel Obj the Seanoget 9, FAMILY THERAPY AND RECIPROCITY BETWEEN ‘Missin ofthe Bad Serual Objet he Senoegaty ERS STRERAES ANEWISCAND GRANDCHILDREN 216 ie toc sm " “The Individual and His Family Relationships 219 Cites ar Family Referees or Jodgss/Eackof Sena! ‘Nuelear and Extended Family Relstionships a dentity: Seduction of Chikdren/ Depression in TERE Te Sytem of Blce ne {Giea snd Puente re Sed Teste Uiictonst Gunde isenibs |g shee ay Giiten/ the no pe Crents egurding te Tne raome/ Chien ws Copve Otjerts Chee “Aged Parents) 228 fontieal Oeecs n SL om Sesion Which Iola the Aen Contains Prensa CO ane ain ne ce sgn Cle Land Her Moher (rs EMERATION4 . juschon ©: Cla ond Hes Mother is SHIGTSatreneD AcHanD NNT OP ATAMILY vse 0: Sie nd Cel tril oS iso ad Rese Data = Sere sed Cala amily #2 Sesion #1: Soh From Intapnel to etional Concepts oS Sie Bay nd Tr Nother Senin #2 Fim Ses Peat af View 7 Ce a tend [mad alter m Sr aS Le, nd Ter Mothr/Sacion Tae Chen LF Biscing Weak lc snd Soa G Pan #8 = See Ne D and tor MetherSeston #2 sfe! norman Mars Hon /Fateds saat! Ross tnt Pot Been Seo Phe eaten Td Pe Tea Fat Fs of Teament Gwe Sonain/Therapeate Ratoni wth he or erTbreias Renan reste Col once so 12. RECONSTRUCTIVE DIALOGUE BETWEEN A SAMILY AND A COTHERAPY TEAM 20 Family History FUSE 1 eur Cle: A Dosining/Sesion 24 Gite and Hire! Relaonships/Seston #6 SEES Noneoponsity/Sesion 67: Beginigs of ‘Ghange nthe Sptem/Sesron #8-The Peace maker SoleSeston #10 Challenge ofthe “Well Sing Nyth/Seston # Ls Confrontation Regarding Datuctvely Chasis Rspenss!Sosion #1 Fen icence Manfesitions/Sesian #16: Amorphous Tecclty ond Lack of Bouodar/Sesion 623: ‘famterence Dimenions betwenn Ms P an he na/Sesion #2: Maral Ineompatiity ate Seton withthe Couple/Sesion Inappropriate omonerSenion #88 Beatle Bid ed Layly Iisee/Seson #39: Negative Aspects J {Etoseneretional Loyalty ne Reexperioned/Senion te Thee Goneatinal Dimensions of MB are ‘otordiSesion 9: Four Generational lations rzleston fs Pand MGA PrescnSuson 24% “Tha Procer of Nepative Tentction ond Loyalty ontine to be ExporedSenon #50 Negetve ‘Meatieaton Shift Yea tk Croats of Change Seren 2801 Seton Changes inthe Masta Telatiuship/Senson #54 Further ‘Trcfeanee/Sestan #36: Sytem Shit Seperation weSeeson #60: Children os Sasty ‘Yer for Sarl Dasatisaction/Sesion #6 309 24 Content xt Despair and Suicidal Thoughts: Therapists as Soopogoats/Sesion #62; Children Can Be Dependently Ago-Approprate/Sesion #65: Children 1 SerualIngulators/Sesion #68, InfenileSeductive Behavior Continace/Session #69: Mr, P. and ‘Three-Gereratonal Relating to Women/Sesion #89; ‘More Despair and Changes (Mr. 8. Absent)/Sesfon #85; Transference Dimensions Session #96 Separation lsue and Now Reeponsee/Sexion #57: Amlnt Reson to Spuaon Continues rw Pens fel Yow tt Rescind Terinaton Sion #104 Maligenrtonal Coneetin/Seson #105 tesa Seon wth Laie Sosin #12 Te Dying GandprntSesin 8 18t Canbioed Indl snd FalySeienSesn P15 ShurtonSuagtaSsson #190 Thee Generations Tntekng/Ssien #131 Reais: Nett The Die of Beng th Dh MoeSeson #180 Loe ae Beg Faced Frater Pein Mothering Ses #107 The Noung roses Continues 9284 Su in tn Encoded Fooly MemberSenion #1; Father inten nthe Masa! Sears Seson fas Seal Exploration Contes eon #14 Sucosthen FomlyRellonsth/Soon # Deno item! Grater esion #558 ope Suse Sesion 168 The Maw Process Continues/Session #165: "Ternislon Procen/Seton £170 Eat Seton Sunimaon of Fat Yar of Treen, Send Yur of Treated ‘hard Your of eset The Pam's Taafrnes ond Rely Reon with the Cotherpy Team Conon sateen Recosuton andthe Dynan Meaning of Fay Lanaly an tebedaea/ The Min Mecho f CangrGrondnates nes Opens the Gate ana 40 oa ai Comtents (REXTUAL, CUIDELINES FOR THE 19 RAE Oct OF INVERGENERATIONAL THEIAPY Ethics of Individuals aod Relational Systems Mapping of Ledges. efi ms ide ‘Tine Sider ‘The Therapit in 1 Owa Family yal rst ‘elecnce, Poet, nd Exon ofthe Thorp cute! of Hath Stns and Pose eat uch ever endo Reviewing Past Taaomtion The Cis Symptom 8 ia “Tenn the tom ot of Pro Bent Tleston and Jets in Whose Behl EPILOGUE Future Areas of Redefiition of Resiprociy, Mert and Tastee REFERENCES INDEXES Author Fades ‘Sbjct Index 362, 263 365 365 sr 28 310 an a a6 aT aa 38 262 88 395 eT Prefaee We live in an age of anvety, fear of violence and quetioning of fandamental values. Conidence In taditonel values t being eke longed. Waves of prejudice sora to endanger our trust in one another tnd ou loyalty to socely. Television and other eommusietins media have pethaps to deeply affected the outlook of contemporary youth and young adults There s much talk about "generation fap alin ses Ronde i fernatve aly experience ha cee eat ed ‘The “strength” of family relatons or thelr set on individuals is extremely dificalt to measure. The authors ofthis book believe that ‘bservable changes inthe fal do not neverariy ator the member tomemberimpect of family telatonshipe Tha real frees of bondage or freedom are beyond observable powor games or manipulative tac Ws: Invisible loyalty commitments to one's family follow paradoxical laws The marie who doesn'tlet other family merabors"work off thet sul sar more powerfully controling force than the loud. demand fg “bully” The manfelysebelions or delingonteilé may etully be the mest loyal member of fanily. ‘We have earned that Family relationships exnnct bo understod from ‘he laws that apply to soil r incidental relationships such as those betwean fellow worker. The mesning of teatonships depends onthe subjective impact emerging botwoon You anf. The so-called “clos. es," Feared by many people, develops asa rer of loyally oramit- ‘tens which become evident in prolonged period of living end wale ‘ng together, whether the commitments ave rocognied or Senica, We fn terminate any relationship exept the on baced on parenting in realty we cannot sleet our parents or ciléronsie Preface tor eammiment ad et By coming fo the tera fr be the Bea cametion a ve leased that wheter the Shera Eifel rbtionipe ccs ane oll members of fay, Be mst land reciprocity of fairness; otherwise he will not be let into the loyalty ea ic ‘a challenge bath te Sonica catacianeiats oots Sr arame ner ir aig neon its not only with professionals but with families. We are con: scents aaa aenn a esos of and moniog pant bweendaamie poscholny. ee seed eter atyies suse “Oar f almost exclusive ‘wot wth aml and coupes in dion op esto cohen eee mementos ae eh geccneaiet preamatian las teiecanmatcnayteaeane cms er She have weed with flies of rece men, itll Sharaere iaa ieineniee ay Saeed et oma feat eter pelted pret n he ens ef shone igaied cis eyracicacretesan cat Prefoce x0 erp ao lh cl patio he cae el Sal wtiminons an xptatine: I coat se ee thea hn herp af esonp constants nd sect of a patios inte wa bec lo dle ed wih pretag eae teaevors wf prone fers ove lon snersedng rotons tan mambrs eave hanes fey he ‘Szmered tty india pychlogeal and gupta pic Die Ar mptan pc of au yer oes of [neato of eatnted or een teers bay coe ‘i te "ane Sng Sed gh So tenomy ten the enon sons wh oped oa normal steps toward autonomy. af omy herp, tal peter, ibd the vals of pe nes an dant Sun rato opps dei ad ‘evevenen_ Operon na yon Rete, hs mee ‘Sresetonor eiancf sae aides comeed lng nr chest ats onda bounds orerenediorney shal be lite Ton eal genie deep tog tony tombs repsng wort iso any edo Se meres ie cughn rece tn conetroralciereenc Brent ae ne Coca toe ad ee ‘Set toul of how chleeger we ne mapanced important roth ving omc casa uo ompaeppton Ie inman roc oer ton, tsa maa aes inertness ta te sand seer om cammen nue ewe have bus blpad comin yor Siriano Th nr ahr Sted tay ayo BS Se INTs es ind y the xno Saco ten we ee woes Sutera: tt wih el tes in wb may ees spe Sten te youl fot ar nd alas ear som anand wo, ening ny igor phono ne song urn wer sido fd cud or aur spain ad tg crepe Bice any ar ner, we do tc hat gent throat ean caot be adioved by sale rea Ne tie dos tompstntthaupyaeasary ele ee wes ony fay fr man yar Tha Gotha darnon et aay tera 2 titan dterend bythe jc ped nd capac oe ily moner, Se fou fu aned p getore lee ftir were eng by and eno te spied tea ‘Soe theapy wish ou ata bse hone and rook sanesei Preface SU ELBE Cen tooneor another ofthe schon ftom weibiertrctinensenammcta Soot ois recseaereert aenaiisa boneraceie Sem hain moemeearmncnre TORS for uate sows nh Bok, bt we bare oe ‘Sling conan specif os fete and heer Siinae. Sees SS ESS wm tr oie eer camera ate mieinatnewesmenatweatemas Etre i cauagene armen Ins to pole cape pret who gave te Edatins Merny acaiemerane ey ce prelate uaa mnie tard amin is niet ental Tae development of our family therapeutic approach, an undenia- Prefce sit be edit has ogo tothe opportune ofered by the original, broad- ‘minded design of Eastora Pnnsylvani Peyhiatre Ltt In accord ance with the inital state-wide mandate for this resserch sad ening Insitute, tts Boord, through the Research Depertments, iavited the senior author in 1957 to builé up an iaaovatve paycistie program, sujet tothe Board's periodic review. Trouhout the yrs persistent fundamental sdminisrative support has been provided tothe Faily Poychistry Division by Wiliam A. Philips, 9D. Medio Director and boyJoseph Adlestein,N.D,,and Wiliam Bese, M.D. as wells previous Goraatssioners of Mental Health in Penzeyivania, {important input hs come to our understanding from various other settings in which we have worked and taught Sovorl lintel research Drcects under th leadership of Alfrod. Frieden, PD. cf Philadel Dia Psychiatrie Center should be mentioned. Thoro,asat EPP Leour humerous collegues and trainees have substanlly contributed fo our Clinical experince and clanty of onderstanding, The sent authors four fers of afllation wih the Wort Philadelphia Community Mental Heath Consortium (under the Directorship of Robert ly Leopold MOD, and Anthony F- Santore, A CSW) and Geraldine M. Sparks we years with the Thomas Jelfern Medical School's Child Payeniatry cut Patient and inpatient units housed st the Philadelphia Cenoral Hosp. Tal as consultants, have ako added to our pereeption of the fam approach sineispensabe, especialy nthe problems of eto faies ‘The family approach Isalso the most power unifying bass of sali of clinics srugaling with diferences between the middle eas, profor slonal and lower-dass,nonprfesional backgrounds of workers ‘The varieties of training experiences have helped eoasiderbly in laying oor thinking. Our teaching experiences in the Farm Inst tute of Philadelphia bus boenespecaly gratifying, a we have watched itsprogram develop from our ital hopes and planing ta subeantil ‘nd promising prefeonal school ef Tearing. (ven Bossormeny ‘Nagy’ one month training experience in Helland ia 1967, teaching & ‘atfonwide selection of profesional, started a long-term contact wth Deople and developments ofthe faily therapy Belin that fervard. Feaking county, ‘The conceptual framework expounded inthis books indebted tothe vwitngs of many thinkers, espectally Martin Buber (Aso aiaterpreted by Maurice Friedman), Sigmund Freud, Mahatina Conch, 6 WF Her 4el Rooald Fatbalen, Konrad Lorenz and Thoms 8 Sease Deeply appreciated were the live stimulating exchanges with Helm Stern, MD, to whom our special thanks are due for his thought sggestionsse Prefce for revisions, Maurice Friedman, PhD. Robert Waelder, M.D. ‘Rbrchom Freedman, MD, isadore Spark M.D, and Eline Brody, MSW. ‘Fiushout the years the authors have continued to lear from their contac with the carly leaders inthe Bel of fray therapy-—t0 men Tea fows Nathan Ackerman, Murray Bowen, Don D. Jackson, Car Wataren, and Lyman Wynne; among members of the Family Py thuty Divison, ames L- Frame, Leon Re Robinson, and Gerald H. ‘ie We express our thanks to those who helped this volume to become a redhty Nie, Mary Jane Kapustin Belped with te ntl phases ofthe ASnseript The almost else patie and devotion of Mrs, Ders ‘Banton wss most enenta io the preparation ofthe al mansserpt Mee Kadiya Kent os helped with many deta of the later stages. ‘Sur personal faales not nly deserve credit for the orsins of our cope esas of far seatonship, but as an arena for sharper and fet more painful personal bates, exactly because we are fay thes Spats We trom our indebtedness aloo to our females of origin which Sa sted in ou thoughts asa spore for base orientation and under staning “Til, we believe that the mort sgnlfcent contributions in the future wit lei the increased understanding of previos loyalty testo TAS Fay of origin andthe contined naed for balanetng individual 2oeheay andthe vciprcaljstnes af eurronteelatonsbis with the ‘Sabfugeneravonel account of family loalies-into the third and fourth feneraton Foreword “This book represent the beginning ofthe contustio yu a cal prc dro roncopastn ein ae, st che sel weston of he fay 2 Pest the demand cane ht mech ager rng seo Te became clear tou tit « new conceptual anew deruaincr andr tendng fn phenmera Armen re ere aot sted wih hat of Grortalnclisaon; smog fan bos pnchadymiay ied al tems sie een ‘yea op hte hry a a whe oan esr eof psa ese and elon mop ot ‘swe chef ty to slain bath nda dpth ‘ndidal dept and muliperion sytney he ny Sto ice ve wre peniy hed Bradt kon lon We ware ale rates ‘pss te irc af verge sparen comaitny ean oer oy ten tr odes So determined on both paychlogil and relatoea eer love Lyla trod ot abe ot oft hey concep ich ae o beth Senter ad id clea lvl of ete sia, Loy oon ft al ht opens on od toons ofeach member aspen nn nie tPe a8 ‘swe lard to apply the concept of loyalty to cll vor fee ace cee tet panorama oe ton, selon and inher swoon of fy member vant femework Atha sone ine we fa ened cat hssx Porecord ‘concept alm into a humanist rather then itelletuaeognitive- sense language “She concapt of justice seemed to be the next step in our search for mrs edaguue aod comprehensive framework. Justice ad injustice, NBO RT Gntairnes, reciprocal consideration and exploitation are eeoeday concores ofall human beings regarding thei relationships, ‘i jobsoe a an ethiealy grounded ksue may snd alien to most SENS povchologial and pychodynanie vestigations, soems tous GEES Be advantage of an intrinstewractre offal expectations eS Sgnons, Such structure then en be affected by the ongoing hain of interactions among members. Aa we tied to rerum from the itrasc bookkeeping to more con cree mpect of ench individ’ postion visaovi the ledger, we were Conffonted vith a need for evaluative and normative considerations: ‘Ghar are nelth ant pathology in terms of zelationship systems? Obvi ‘BRI, mulepersonl eancepte were aeoded which transcended the im ‘eudual bated ooncep of pathology. esontially a mediea eoncest. The MMoepteof balance sd ialanes soared tl part ofthis xp. Asthe ‘Rufus paved by his femilil postion and history tthe vantage ‘Bint of'a particular bokance ofthe justice ledger, his capacity for ERMA) neon may be avined to Us pot that hs feeback to the Eom bogin to aoc he Inter, Individual psychopathology and sy Er pathencrilty ave in an ongoing dynarae iteration, ‘fer iscasion of the parvasvely sinifcant relational imbalance called parenifcation, we deserioed the moltiperson systemic loyalty GRilcdtone of a phenomenon canteal to psychoanalytic theany and {huzapy-aransforence. Ava transition, wo review the eonvergenes and Grergence between certsn concepts of psychoanalytic theory and Re dopltesbty to our theory oftlationships Se eeecatly, we review amumber of nicl problens in connection swat abc apelcations of ou framework. We discuss a systemic vow of {he formation of therapeutic alliance between family and the team, ‘Sica applications of a three ganoraional view ofthe inclusion of ‘orty fray mersbers in the Shorapy proces, special clinical aspects Sfivork with children, questions eonnscted with the treatment of Foal that battered eld. goal chapter i devoted to detailed account of the treatment ofa family in which a varoty of tus develope, afecting all members of inv gancentfons: Special etlention was given tothe proctical end henrotettalntfiennce ofthe opportanay for balancing the itargenet- ‘Nona ledger of justice as rst and hope are reinvested into a mothers Felatonship With ber dying mother Foreword ssi A chapter devoted tos summary of therepest wih ur theoreteal amen lowed by mete or oly Sd tr werk ag” Ets my in summary, we Bae lend to provide a cokes foundation for undartanding the 8 ingen of ee ‘ond fe doogerstractring ores sf pee afl unan atone. Sach undortanding wi led Sol fr Hou iae platonin ami tea anor egret the ede oti edule nina ce Alogh th bok as writen ty nd ech cats wa ee erative eflert van Bosermeny Nagy manly respons Bor Chaotrs 1 and 3 ad Gradine Spr or Capen hater epee he ret fcomboed rts Pte Chats witha ew ior changes fom an etl ted “Leyah Inplcatons of tho Transerence Moda in Py ae mou rence Model in Psychotherapy" whi Breda Archives of Goo achat G7. 4-080 1612) Chaps enstitute a thematic unt, i tat thoy serve the explain of therapeutic spots ellowing fom the regain theorlcl eesInvisible Loyaltiesi Concepts of the Relational System ‘he structuring of relationships, espocally within fries, an ex: tremely complex and essentially unknown "maechoniam.” Empialy, such stuctoring en be inferred fom the extence of aul uli and predictably of erin repottious events in families. Through the ‘yea, much of our concerted ofertas been directed clinically and ‘caneeptily to speling out these mullpersonsytetn laws (Certain families carey easly recognized maultigenerational pattems of relationships. In ono family we lesmed that fr generations there ‘were recurrent epsodas of violent death of women used by the mea swith whom they wore ssxuilly iaolved, In another family we sa 2 ‘recurrent pattern of wives being alleged martyed by thelr husband ‘through their obvious end constant involvements with misteses tn ‘nother fanly three or four generations revealed the pattern of one Saughter ending up a9 an cuteast because of the “sin of dslyaly ‘marrying outside the family’s faith. We have soon families in whieh Incest sequences occur for atleast three or four generations ‘The determinants of such recurrent relational organizations within fanes are only beginning tobe dlscerned. Careful long-ern sy of multgeneratioal systema of oxtended failies under stres may ‘oven some of thal nucial "pathogenic" determinants, Butin oer (0 ‘construct true mltigenertonal patterning of funy relationships we. have to rely on retrospective information, including the memories oF the tving about the daa. Without an interest in these formative ong ‘ange, vertical family eational laws offunetion, the therapist wil = ‘gain handiepped in dealing with pathogenicity and faith in fares We distinguish here between ameliorating here and now interactions ‘nd thoroughly, ie, preventively intervening inthe sytem12 nslibe Lali fe elove hat health end paolo are Join determined 0) Reker atipern relate vm (2) the pnchalegea Hemera eyes srt itil member 08 3 te GREASE bememn thee to reine of ser ngasatin, A de sa EeEy and blasscepreng the india #80 Sao fatn tov eantsbuertobenty wheres inne erence eee galterns ay lo opty in nda Fea cl he pal rede dsr ecm piecioit of elatonal rusting Anum of dimensions dos aera lene perent ote natre of ee elon atest, Sergent by themselves 0 dere he eomplx whole of ere tt neaszaon Sof hein cements an ores that aa ar rteonal eotgurtons ofthe stem ae eric ase Rael or pret charetertcs dine tendencies a eee one poor a eters ave de che ott ‘heh At tea of ploy coectve agree ofa unos say: Pences a ne mbes; ecpnie sped one de a nang monbery sa oneritn a unpaton cen Fee me and enplation tod ther changing bala "fence on the mal cottons of the fal there Se ee is nutiperen or em concep oan ey Thsconeptccacavesefte india avadspratabiopest Sih aly wots ens are nme dtormined Sty sem psychology sn by th ales of teenie my writs ‘hoy orl spanking, © aim 0 St of ual ter SERIE Gin ies pore factions of one member eer fcr meme Naty ofthe ales gaveting fly ee em ohsar elyan ely mores ae ao cena ‘tore ou nt exlbhatve ole chemother is ree inca frintane, say noebecome appucnt nea nsw of fami they aes ‘of the basic motivations! structuring of family systems may of er ag eon ea ane ae scoring, new, ee EY SEE Tin sels opener ore So ie eee Tes es ne oe are a nl pv acing el mets of ee ee Ee econ oh cte bre ca ie: ee ermine ave vr cing oss St ns oy ocean Fee nc ee sta the ce drm Conept ofthe Relational Sten 3 equivalency scale of masts, advantage, obligor, ad responsi Us A cls of nterelated ster hacer tho anf lao) system of fly t any gen ime, Bes re patterns of learned restos, whereas the ite renpt ofthe ftom Erol i ene and histor ested “This dsincton hes practical sigalcance for the fm therapist. ‘uve patterns nolo th the extent substrate 9 the ot Is makiperon sytem in unique ways which may pure the outs ctnerver, The often dseibeddifely in deakg wath eppsrenty toeatnges communications of + fmly in estat party ee ithe therapist's understandable need to faa log” they the ‘eka ts caus aterosk th one anther It takes ne and ‘pec learning tosses the bse ceounts of he itr vera and depth eimensions of action syatoms. Without an understanding othe hierarchy ofeblgstions, no lope wil be separen. ‘nor stem spe offs based on the fact that consa- suinlty or genet relatedness for fete In faethe bonds ft genetic elateines bave precedence over pochosecl deters tion ina the tw resin can be concept aeparted ‘My father wl alvays vermin my father, even thug he dead and bis burial round thous of mes a. Hand tase como tive lnk it agente chan with ae pan of milans of years My ‘xbtence sunthinkabie without i Secondaniyorpaychologiealy Hs person imprinted an edie marlon my persoaity ding the ct falstages of emetiona growth, Even when {sabeled agaist al tt he Sod for, my eraphate “no” ony further sonmned my emotional imvelnement with hie. Ho was obligated to ta, beso sed be Aten, {have become exstontlly indebted to hia. ‘My fae tr not Bloadrlated tome, yet Lam remind of Kinship whenever I note my sons ply rselance to him sep wondesing wither my ons mona cherctrtases wl be Ble 1s st beau sme fay son's pontanaousanerans end fa chateterisics rind eof um. Tae tia rlatoshy atin further quisitootslated. aspect through the bith at" rend: shikren. Furthermore, my father inlay and T become contested through the emerging extended fara balance she! To rene iy ofgive sad ke ‘trate on sites theory n fry aationships Began with 22+ ons influenced by “ek” or “abnormal” function, Expressions the “mbit” "gukieden”"doublebinding” “schirophrenogenis® ate would agg ht the onl aguage tht ex for eserpion of the phenomena of reltinshippaterning basse tinged wttnont