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精通社交圈游戏

Solievil（所依华）
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为什么要社交圈游戏？
By Solievil（所依华） http://blog.sina.com.cn/solievil

 70%如何找到最终的灵魂伴侣？社交圈。而社交圈游戏，让你知道如何去做！

 社交圈游戏，让你营造出充满 9 分和 10 妹纸的社交圈，而不是依赖出去时
碰巧相遇而结识到她们

 社交圈游戏，让你拥有足够的时间来进行你的游戏，而不是要么成功、要么
失败——只有一次机会。

 社交圈游戏，让你再也不被女人放鸽子。（社交压力）

 社交圈游戏，让你真正拥有 Playboy 的生活方式！

 社交圈游戏，让你拥有真正的坚不可摧的内在游戏（Solid Inner Game）—

—因为你真正拥有了丰富的选择（Living in abundance）而不是伪装。

 社交圈游戏，才真正对你的人生带来整体的，深层次的提升。

圈外游戏（白天游戏、夜店游戏、受雇枪手、当晚推倒等等）就像打猎，而社交
圈游戏就像饲养。试想，现在 21 世纪人类都是打猎为生，还是饲养？

人生的意义，不仅仅是去外边打几只野鸡！

本书制作于，世界最大的约会公司爱情体系公司（Love Systems）“《精通社交
圈》
（Social Circle Mastery）DVD”产品（诱惑社区内少有的专注于社交圈游戏
的精品！！！）
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Social Circle Mastery: Revealing the

Social Matrix
by Mr. M.
Part 1: The Structure of Your Social Life

'Social Circle Mastery' is the foundation of “next generation” pick up and dating
techniques. It takes us beyond relying only on “cold approach” to meet women and
enhance your social life. (Cold approach is someone you don’t know and don’t really
have any connection to). It has several purposes – to make it easier to meet and
seduce “10s” (shorthand for top models, beautiful actresses, Playmates, and other
women who are the elite of the elite, at least in terms of looks) – and also to better
manage your social life in general and to understand the social dynamics that affect
any group situation, such as school or work.

Background

Before I begin, Braddock and I have one confession – we were never intending to
develop an all-encompassing system for managing your social life. We were just
looking for new and more consistent ways to seduce 10s. Don’t get me wrong – the
Love Systems approach that I teach at bootcamps around the world, that I
contributed my best and most secret routines to in the Love Systems’ Routines
Manual, that I wrote a chapter on Inner Game for the next edition
of Savoy’s Magic Bullets, and that I contribute my newest insights to in
the SeductionInfo.com advanced interview series – it all works, and it’s amazing. It’s
a cliché to say that Love Systems changed my life, but it’s true. And every weekend
when we teach a program, we change another dozen lives. As a cold approach system,
it’s revolutionary and amazing and I am never going to stop doing cold approach.
But cold approach has inherent limitations. If I want a 10 tonight and there’s no 10
where I go out, there’s not much I can do. EvenSavoy can’t seduce a woman who
isn’t there. There’s luck involved, and we wanted to control the impact of chance.
Chance isn’t always bad – sometimes random opportunities come your way, and if
you have the skills to take advantage, it can be amazing. Theseduction of the famous
Playboy Playmate that I wrote about in a previous LSi is a perfect example – if you
missed it, there’s a summary here.
Anyway, back to 10s. On an immediate level, we use our social circles in two
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different but related ways:

• As a source of beautiful women. Of course, this only happened when we

learned how to find, join, and lead social circles that have these beautiful
women in them. This is what led us to the MRB5 model, which I will get
into below.
• As “glue”. With any woman, there’s always a chance that her logistics
(other commitments, friends, etc.) will prevent you from seducing her on
the same night you meet her. We’ve all succeeded against heroic odds
and those make the best stories, but the mundane reality is that, for
example, the runway model you just met after a fashion show probably
isn’t going to be able to go anywhere with you that night, no matter how
good you are. By building and managing social circles in the right way,
you can absorb her into your life and grow her interest in you without you
actually doing anything. We call this “slow burn game”

It sounds easy in theory, right? The devil is in the details. It does take some work,
with the lifestyle that Braddock and I and other guys who are using Social Circle
Mastery are using, it’s so worth it.

Before I get into some of the specifics, I want to reassure you that before Love
Systems I was not naturally great at social situations. I was never the popular guy in
school and my social life since then wasn’t a whirlwind of activity. Braddock’s story
is slightly different (and hopefully we can get him to tell it in an upcoming LSi) but
the point is that you don’t have to be one of the naturally socially powerful people to
succeed with Social Circle Mastery.

Having social circle mastery means that you have the lifestyle, the friends, the
connections, the access to people/places/parties/events and the hot women in your
social circle. Beautiful women should be plentiful, abundant and dying to be a part of
your social circle and your life. It is a social magnetism towards your life. It also
means having the ability to seduce women like a rockstar through this social circle.

The Basics: Social Dead Ends and Two Types of

Connectors

Let’s begin with basics, the building blocks that will help with the more advanced
Social Circle Mastery concepts. First, let’s define two terms or different types of
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people: ‘social dead ends’ and ‘connectors’. A social dead end is someone who adds
no value to your life and generally brings you down – usually through things like
negativity, inability to progress, or disinterest in evolving as a person. Many people
who go through our exercises at the beginning of our Social Circle Mastery
seminar recognize some of these behaviors in themselves. Human beings are
imperfect.

A connector (our use of this term is inspired by Malcolm Gladwell in The Tipping
Point, though obviously we’ve changed it to apply to dating science instead of to
societal trends). There are actually a couple of different kinds of connector. A social
connector is someone who has a particular and rare set of social skills. They belong in
multiple social circles and introduce people to other people all the time.

A ‘value connector’ is a bit different. Such a person may be social - and is likely to be
- but it doesn’t matter if s/he is a recluse. A value connector has access to scarce
resources, where a social connector “only” has access to different social networks. A
value connector may be a doorman or promoter who can get you into a hot venue.
S/he might have access to parties, events, premieres, famous people, and so on. This
gives you value as well, one step removed. Remember in Chapter 7 of Magic
Bullets when Savoygoes through the eight qualities that are universally attractive to
women, and how the book shows how can you demonstrate Status (one of the
qualities) through your social circle as well as through yourself? That’s what we’re
building off of here. Some people are both social connectors and value connectors.

Of course, we’re not talking about using people or a mercenary approach to friendship.
Most connectors are interesting, positive and passionate people who inspire others
around them. Surrounding yourself with high-value people will motivate you to make
the best of your life as opposed to surrounding yourself with people whose own
failings, insecurities and need to protect their ego justifies settling for the familiar and
the routine. To paraphrase Napoleon Hill in his book Think and Grow Rich, when you
hang around people who are excellent, you become excellent yourself.

Anyway, remember social dead ends and the two types of connectors. These will be
very important in the next Social Circle Mastery articles.

The Structure of Your Social Life: the power of fifteen

Most people’s social lives can be mapped to a series of concentric circles. There is an
innermost “core” of one or two close friends. Then comes an inner core of another 3-5
people and an outer core of another 5-15 people. These aren’t arbitrary numbers – this
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is how the human mind subconsciously qualifies social relationships. Doing both the
academic and the real-world research to come with that was a pain, but it’s an
important concept. The people in these cores comprise of the people who most
influence your life. It has been said that ‘you are the average of the 5 people that you
hang around the most’. This is partially true, but it is more accurate to say that most
people are influenced by up to 15 people at a time, as different relationships ebb and
flow in intensity.

Managing your core is crucial. Your objective should be to fill your core as much as
possible with connectors. They should bring value to you and you need to bring value
to them.

This will have an immediate impact on your dating life, whether or not you go for 10s.
One of the insights from Magic Bullets is that women will judge you based on your
friends. This is true for one night stands (if you are around fun, cool people and are
the life of the party, you are immediately more attractive) and even more for
longer-term relationships, since most women are interested in the social life and
opportunities that you bring her to. A lot of this “immediate effect” dimension builds
off of the great interview thatSavoy and The Don did on
Advanced Winging (download it now on Seductioninfo – it’s one of the best
interviews in the series and if you ever go out with a wingman, it will improve both of
your results immediately).

Taking it one step further, your social network should not only be attractive to women,
but also be a source of beautiful women into your life. This is something we cover in
detail in the Social Circle Mastery seminars and will figure prominently
in future articles.

On a more advanced level, when you are introduced through friends to other friends,
your pre-existing alliances often determine your social value and your relative value
to the person to which you are being introduced. Don’t go saying “I don’t want to
play that game”. Beautiful women are hyper-conscious of social value.

The key principle about your core is to bring value to peoples’ lives and they will
bring value to yours. Be a connector and have other connectors in your life. If all the
slots in your top fifteen are filled with negative people who don’t offer value or
exhibit forward momentum in their own lives, then you might need to reassess the
role that they play in yours. You can have friends you like and care about who don’t
help you meet your goals in life, but these should not be the only friends you have.

Your top three cores (the approximately 15 most present people in your life)
determine your social success –in terms of (a) social status (b) life orientation and (c)
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at least some degree life success. You can’t expect to fill these spaces with people
who can’t help you reach your goals and then complain that these goals are out of
reach.

Social Trees

The last concept I want to define in this article is that of Social Trees. Everyone is part
of a number of different social trees. Examples of where ‘social trees’ arise include
your workplace, your school, the guys that you go out with, your yoga class etc.
Social trees are relative in value to you and to each other. For example, having a high
position on a certain low value social tree (e.g. the leader of two geeky guys who each
have no friends) is not as socially valuable as having a low position on a high-value
social tree (e.g., the celebrity hanger-on who occasionally gets to sleep with beautiful
fans). That being said, it is always advisable to be amongst the top of one tree. One
practical use of this is on dates, which we often plan so that she can see you in a social
environment in which you’re up at the top of the social tree (e.g., you’re throwing a
party, so you invite her to come with you). You shouldn’t have to re-read Magic
Bullets to know how powerful an effect that social status has on women.

Understanding trees is understanding social dynamics, and our techniques for “tree
climbing” (becoming the alpha mate of trees), “tree jumping” (how to switch trees)
and merging trees are part of the magic of Social Circle Mastery and we should touch
on these in future articles.

Initial Insights

The goal of this article is to introduce the concept of connectors, dead ends, cores, and
trees. With that as a foundation, we can get into some of the more insights and
strategies for Social Circle Mastery (or when you come take the seminar, you will be
able to hit the ground running from the first minute). Additionally, I wanted you to
think of Social Circles as something you can manage, indeed master, as opposed to
taking a purely passive approach about who ends up in your life.

As an exercise, I’d like you to think about your social relationships in terms of cores
and trees. Map them out on paper. Ask yourself who is a social connector, who is a
value connector (some people may be both) and who is a dead end. What is missing
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from your social life? Who might you want to cultivate? Are you bringing value to the
connectors in your life?

Just by asking yourself these sorts of questions, you will already be taking a giant leap
forward over most men.

We’ve got a couple more articles ready to go, so stay tuned for those in future emails.
As well, Braddock and I will try to get to as many posts related to Social Circle
Mastery over the next week or two as we can in The Lounge (if you are not a member
of the The Lounge because you haven’t taken a bootcamp or seminar with a Love
Systems instructor, we’ll also be on The AttractionForums, which is open to
everyone.
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精通社交圈游戏之一：揭示社交矩阵
By BBK (Blackboyerking)

（译者注：矩阵（Matrix）本意是子宫、控制中心的母体、孕育生命的地方。在
数学上，矩阵是指纵横排列的二维数据表格，最早来自于方程组的系数及常数所
构成的方阵。这里的“社交矩阵”，意思就是可以提供无数靓女的发源地和母体。）

我们在社交圈把妹上取得了突破性进展。社交圈把妹一般关注将“友谊”变为
“红利性友谊”（“let’s just be friends” into “friends with benefits”）
，但是我们走
得更远，致力于管理你的社交圈子，来在其中产生和吸引量多质好的靓女，甚至
将其核心的概念超越了约会科学而进入人生目标的实现（beyond dating science
into life goals）

（译者注：红利式友谊（FWB/Friends with Benefits ）：就是指大部分情况

下都保持一种柏拉图式的精神友谊，除了偶尔朋友间会有一些不定期的性行为。
这种关系是非承诺关系的一种类型。）

第 1 部分：你社交生活的结构

社交圈把妹学（Social Circle Mastery）是第二代的把妹和约会技术（“next

generation” pick up and dating techniques）的基础。它让我们超越了通过“生搭”
（“cold approach”）来结识女人，并提升了你的社交生活。（“生搭”是你结识你
不认识而且完全没有任何联系的女人）它有几个目标:1.让结识女人和勾引 10 分
女人更加容易 2.从总体上更好地管理你的社交生活和去理解影响任何团体情境
的社交力学（the social dynamics），诸如在学校或工作环境中。

背景
我们的目的不是去发展一个管理你的社交生活全方位（all-encompassing
system ）的系统，我们只是寻找一个新的和更加适合的方式去搞定 10 分女人。
爱情系统中之前大部分内容都是关于生搭的，而且也是突破性的高效的体系，我
们也不是说要停止生搭。
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但是，生搭有其固有的局限性（inherent limitations）。你想要的女生不一定
会出现，生搭有运气的成分，而我们想控制机率的影响。
社交圈对于高分妹的作用：
1. 作为靓女的来源（source）。你要学会如何运作社交圈以吸纳靓女进入。

2. 作为和任何女人一起的粘合剂（glue）

一般追求任何女人，不管你技巧有多么好，时空条件（logistics）
（比如，她
的朋友，她的对他人其他的承诺等等）都很容易妨碍你“当夜搞定”。我们尽管都
在极端的不利条件下取得过成功，这些都成为了最好的故事，但是朴素的生活就
是如此，举个例子，一个我们在时装秀结识的时装模特，不管我们做得有多么好，
她仍然可能不会在这晚和你出来。而社交圈把妹可以吸纳靓女，并不需要你去做
任何事情就可以增加她对你的兴趣。我们称这个为慢热游戏（“slow burn game.”）

基本原理：“社交死角”和“两类联系者”

“社交死角” （Social Dead Ends）指的那种不能给你的生活带来价值而且使你掉

价的人，其往往很消极和无能，或者对于成长没有兴趣。这些方面很多人自己身
上都有。人类是不完美的。

“联系者”（connector）概念是受马尔科姆《引爆潮流》
（The Tipping Point）
一书的启发，将此概念由社会趋势研究借用到约会学上。

“社交联系者”（social connector）是指一些拥有特别的和优秀的社交技能的
人。他们属于多个社交圈子（belong in multiple social circles ），并不停地将一
些人介绍给另外一些人

“价值联系者”（value connector），是指可以帮助获取一些稀缺资源的人。
他可以是善于社交的，也可以是个隐者。而社交联系者只是可以帮助你进入不同
的社交圈子。价值联系者也可以是看门人或者活动赞助方，帮助你进入某个很棒
的场所。

有些人既是社交联系者，又是价值联系者。

精通社交圈把妹意味这你拥有自己的生活风格，朋友，关系，有渠道可以进
入到一些人/地方/聚会/活动中，并将靓女带进你的生活圈子里。靓女应该是大
量的，丰富的，并且梦寐以求成为你社交圈和生活的一部分。通过你的社交圈可
以像摇滚明星一样搞定女人。

我们当然不是说要去利用人们和有目的性地和人交朋友。很多联系者是有趣
的，积极的，而且富有激情的，并可以鼓舞身边的人。身边如果都是高价值的朋
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友，就可以鼓舞你创造最好的人生，这与身边被失败的，不安的和需要保护自己
的自尊而满足于熟悉的事物和常规的朋友包围完全相反。

要记住“社交死角”和“两类联系者”是社交圈游戏中非常重要的概念。

社交圈的结构：十五人的影响力
大部分人的社交生活可描绘成一个同心圆。在最里面，核心是一个或两个亲密的
朋友。稍外围是以 3-5 个人为核心的圈子，最外面是以另外 5——15 个人为核心
的外圈。这不是随意的数字——这是人们大脑潜意识对人际关系的筛选。理论研
究和实验证明这是一个很难缠但是非常重要的概念。这些处于核心的人们对你的
生活有最大的影响。俗话说“你一般和 5 个人玩得最多”。这部分正确，但是更准
确的是在某个特定时期，大部分人都被 15 个人影响，而不同的关系在此起彼伏
变化着。

管理你的核心层是至关重要的。你应该将你的核心层尽可能多的用联系者填
满。他们应该带给你价值，你也需要将价值带给他们。

不管你是否在追求 10 分妹，这都会对你的约会生活有迅捷的影响。
《灵丹妙
药》的一个洞见就是女人会根据你的朋友来评价你。这对一夜情也适用（如果你
身边都是一些有趣的，酷的人，是聚会活力的来源，你马上就变得更具吸引力），
同时对长期关系更是如此，因为大部分女人都对社交生活和你带给她的社交机会
很感兴趣。

更进一步，你的社交网络不仅仅对女人有吸引，而且是让漂亮女人进入你生
活的源泉

在更高的层次上，当你通过朋友被介绍给其他朋友，你业已存在的关系常常
决定你的社交价值和你对那个你被介绍给的朋友的相对价值。不要说“我不想玩
这个游戏”。靓女都对社交价值超级敏感。

社交核心圈（core）的关键概念是给人们的生活带来价值和他们会将价值带
给你。自己要成为联系者并让联系者进入你的生活。如果你的 15 个位置都被一
些消极的，不能提供价值或者不能在他们自己的生活里展示冲劲的人占据，你就
需要再评估一下他们在你生活中扮演的角色了。你可以有些你喜欢的朋友而不去
关心他们是否能帮助你实现人生目标，但是你不能仅仅拥有这样的朋友。

社交树（Social Trees ）
我最后一个想在这篇文章定义的概念就是“社交树”。每个人都是很多不同“社交
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树”的组成部分。举例说来，“社交树”会在包括你的工作场所，你的学校，你一
起玩的人，你的瑜伽课堂等等地方产生。社交树体现你和他人的相对价值
（relative in value）。比如，在某个低价值的社交树里你拥有高的地位（例如，
你是两个令人讨厌的家伙的头儿，而这两个人一个朋友都没有。）的社交价值还
不如在一个高价值的社交树里拥有一个低的地位（例如，作为名人的随从，偶尔
会能够和漂亮的粉丝亲密）。尽管如此，一般还是建议你成为一个社交树的顶端。
这一点在约会上的一个运用是，我们一般设计成她可以看到你在一个社交环境里
处于社交树的顶端（例如，你举行了一个聚会，然后邀请她和你一起来）。你不
必重读《灵丹妙药》就可以知道社交地位对女人有多么巨大的影响。

理解了社交树就理解了社交力学，而且“社交树攀爬”（tree climbing） （成为

社交树的雄性领袖 the alpha mate ），“社交树跳跃”（tree jumping）
（如何在不
同社交树之间转换 switch trees），和融合（merging）不同的社交树的技术都是
作为神奇的社交圈把妹学的一部分，我们也会在以后的文章中聊到。

最初的顿悟
本文章的目的是介绍联系者，社交死角，核心圈子，和社交树这些概念。以这些
作为一个基础，我们就可以更加深入的理解社交圈把妹及其策略。此外，我希望
你将社交圈理解为一个可以运作的东西，而不是将其作为生活中纯粹被动的方式。

作为一个练习，我希望你思考一下你在核心圈子和社交树上的人际关系。将
它们写在纸上。问问自己谁是社交联系者，谁是价值联系者（有些人两者都是），
谁是社交死角。谁被你在社交生活中遗忘了？谁你应该和他培养感情？你在生活
中有给联系者带来价值吗？

只要问问你自己这些问题，你就已经比大部分男人进了一大步。
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Revealing the Social Matrix Part 2: The

Hidden Structure to Social Circle Pick
Ups
By Mr. M
Hey guys

This is the second instalment of the Revealing the Social Matrix Article Series
and is an updated and modified version of the Elongated Seduction model described
in the Lsi (Love Systems Insider) email.

I hope to delve into some seriously groundbreaking stuff related to both social
dynamics and social circles in this four part series. The technology is taught in its full
form in our (Braddock and my) Social Circle Mastery seminars. I obviously can't
reproduce everything in the Social Circle Mastery seminar, but I think the below will
give you some very useful information that is applicable to your daily lives.

This will also be taught to the superstar padawons in my exciting program Project
Rockstar. There are some real nuggets of knowledge in the journey of the guys
in Project Rockstar and the breakthrough concepts of 'Game 2.0' being taught to
them. Dating and pick up technology has evolved so much since The Game and
some of the more advanced aspects of Project Rockstar are based on new principles
in Social Circle Mastery. I'd definately recommend having a read of the thread.

Part 1 of ‘Revealing the Social Matrix' - 'The Structure of Your Social Life' is
available here and I would strongly recommend reading the first article first and
catching up to the new technology.

Now, without further ado... the topic of this article is social circle pick up. To
do this most effectively, you use the same skills from Magic Bullets or a bootcamp,

but apply them in a new way, using what we call the Mr.

M and Braddock(MRB) 5 Elongated Seduction model

(otherwise known as the ElongatedSeduction Model)

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This model is designed to help you hook up with women you meet through
any social circle event, such as dinner parties, work events, or even
random introductions. It is also a structure which uses very well on particularly
hot girls (the only real type I get enthusiastic about going for!). As you can tell from
the name, it's not designed to be a lightning-fast method. Is sometimes does work
quickly, but it's a method designed for effectiveness over speed, so it may work the
same night, or it might take weeks if not a couple of months. The time flexibility
actually works to your advantage - you won't fall into the trap of killing your value
within a social circle by escalating when it's not appropriate or the moment isn't ripe;
instead, you are likely to end up with multiple friends with benefits.

For example, I used the Elongated Seduction Model to recently close a top model
who happens to be the poster girl and 'door girl' for one of the hottest and more
prestigious clubs in London. This is me we're talking about here - I'm about 5'3 and
of Asian descent, I'm no body builder or male model. (You can read more about
my journey and biography in a new PDF report about how I got good with
girls - check it out: The Man Behind Mr. M.). The close happened a few months
after I met her through a friend. When I first met her, the time wasn't ripe, so I
worked the model and waited until the right moment to strike. I'll explain how this
works below.

Before I do that, a word of warning. Before getting into Social Circle mastery, it is
crucial that you have a very strongabundance mentality. This is
why Braddock and I insist that you understand dating science fundamentals before
you take the Social Circle Mastery seminar. You need to know - not pretend - that
you are attractive to beautiful women and that you have succeeded with beautiful
women and can easily have more. You'll get this if you attend one of my bootcamps.
If you don't have an abundance mentality, having friendly 9s and 10s on "slow burn"
will drive you crazy and you may not be able to help developing needy,
attention-seeking behaviors commonly associated with "oneitis" (the unhealthy
fixation on a specific woman who is not as attracted to you as you are to her).

So, without further ado, the structure for the Elongated Seduction Model is as
follows:

1. Neutral Rapport
2. Build Value
3. Social Circle Attraction
4. Sexualization
5. Closing
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What follows is merely a summary of each phase. It would take me too long to
outline each phase in the level of depth we go into (and customize and personalize)
in the Love Systems Social Circle Mastery seminars, but I won't let that stop me
from giving you enough that you can use if you're not going to be able to come to
Los Angeles, New York, or Chicago to take the course this summer.

MRB1: Neutral Rapport

When you first meet someone through your social circle, you want to be emotionally
neutral. Think normal, friendly, conversation instead of state-pumping routines.
This neutral-rapport process lasts for a minute or two at most.

As Savoy emphasized in Chapter 12 of Magic Bullets, social circle introductions put

you all the way into the Attraction phaseof the Emotional Progression Model. You
don't need to Approach, and you don't need to Transition, and because of this, you
don't need to "break the ice," "cut through the clutter," or "be different than the last
5,000 guys who approached her." You already are different. You're a friend of one of
her friends. But the attraction phase is also different from regular cold
approach attraction and must be calibrated appropriately.

In fact, if a friend of yours did introduce you to a beautiful woman and you jumped
in with one of the many opinion openers from the Love Systems Routines Manual or
even a state-pumping direct opener, you would likely come across as "try hard" or
"the weird pick up guy" or otherwise socially awkward. The book Magic
Bullets identifies eight key attraction switches that most women will be attracted to,
and one of these is Social Intuition. Unless you really know what you're doing,
anything other than friendly conversation and neutral rapport when you are first
introduced to someone through a social circle will brand as socially awkward. And,
as Savoy puts it, "beautiful women run from social awkwardness the way most
people run from hand grenades." So be "cool" when you are introduced to someone.
Don't worry about conveying value. Keep it simple. Start with something like "Hey,
what's up?" when introduced to someone. Or "Hi, I'm [name]." In the first minute or
so of conversation, stick to normal, neutral conversation like:

• "Are you here for [x's] birthday?"

• "How do you guys know each other?"
• "What do you do?"
• "I think I know you through [x person] as well."
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You can even throw in some very light teasing, but limit it. Think "normal and cool."
You are not trying to build comfort, demonstrate your value, break rapport, or
anything else.

After about a minute or two, disengage from the conversation. Unlike cold approach,
you have a pretty good idea where she'll be later (in your combined social group) so
sticking to her like a man on a life raft isn't necessary. In fact, it will make you seem
needy and, again, display a lack of Social Intuition. So disengage. (After the first
couple of minutes is when you should turn to focus on the "gatekeeper" of her time
and of the social circle in general - this is an important concept in Social Circle
Mastery and one I hope to get to in a future article.)

MRB2: Build Value

Like I was saying above, when you meet someone in your social circle, you are
straight into the Attraction phase of theEmotional Progression Model. Once you've
passed through the introductions, it's time to get the woman you want attracted to
you.

Creating attraction is based on the same underlying principles of social dynamics

and female psychology whether she's a stranger in a coffee shop or a friend or a
friend. Attraction is based on value. If you have enough value ("enough" usually
meaning "more than she thinks she has") she will become attracted to you. The link
between value and attraction is very well broken down in Future's last interview
(with Tenmagnet) before he retired.

What every woman values in a man is slightly different, but you're not stuck
guessing what it is that will interest a particular woman - one of the breakthroughs
of the book Magic Bullets (Chapter 3, Female Psychology) is there are eight key
factors that attract virtually any women, and all of them can be demonstrated to her
no matter what your age, background, or looks. I'm not going to have time to go
through all eight of them in the context of social circles, but I did want to pull out a
couple, so that if you're not able to make it to the seminar, you have a sense of how
to think about value in a social circle context.

• Pre-selection. Pre-selection refers to the process by which a woman

perceives that other women of equal or higher value are interested in a
man and becomes more interested in him herself. A woman will feel this
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especially acutely in a social circle situation. Having other women in the

group attracted to you is gold, as long as it looks like they are doing so
under their own terms, not because you are hitting on them. However,
if your skills aren't up to this yet, you can create the illusion
of pre-selection by regularly meeting other women and using body
language and body positioning to imply to observers that they are
chasing you. Magic Bullets explains the concept of "locking in", which is
crucial to this. Use jealousy to your advantage. I'm going to skip over a
detailed discussion of jealousy because it was covered so well
by Braddock, Cajun, and Tenmagnet in their interview on Jealousy
Plotlines.
• Status. Social Status is not a constant thing. You might be of lowish
status when you first walk alone into a bar where you don't know
anyone, but if the doorman, manager, owner, bartender, and
high-value customers all acknowledge you, you will have what Magic
Bullets calls "relative social status." In social circle game, we call it
situational status to emphasize its fleeting nature. Situational status
also arises in any situation where you are the gatekeeper to the
situation. Having situational status means that people act well towards
you because in that situation, you have high value. You can achieve this
by throwing your own party, organizing an event, being the coach of a
team, being one of the dominant members of a social group, and so on.
Relative status is a great tool in cold approach, but a crucial one in social
circle game.

All of the other six attraction switches from Magic Bullets still apply in Social Circle
game. Additionally, in social circles, it is important to provide the group with good
emotions, social status within and without the group, demonstration of alliances,
being able to lead, and so on. We cover these secondary attraction switches in the
Social Circle Mastery course, but if you're not able to make it, this will hopefully get
you started.

MRB3: Social Circle Attraction

This is related to value. In social circles, it also has a lot to do with being the most
fun and interesting guy in the social situation and controlling the RAS (Reticular
Activation System - an advanced concept we talk about in the Social Circle Mastery
seminar which is about how to control a person's attention).

Traditional techniques to create attraction (e.g. cocky & funny, teasing,

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disqualification, etc.) should be used, but one of the key differences between social
circle pickup and cold approach is that Emotional Momentum (as defined in Magic
Bullets) is much more forgiving with social circles. In cold approach, when you meet
a woman, the interaction could theoretically end at any moment and she has no
reason to talk to you the minute she is no longer stimulated. So we keep the
emotional momentum pushing straight ahead until she is so invested in the
interaction (usually after Qualification, the fourth stage of the Emotional
Progression Model) that we can afford to move to more natural peaks and valleys in
the Comfort phase.

In Social Circle, she is going to talk to you and interactions aren't likely to end
suddenly with no chance to pick them back up again later. So you can more easily
mix fun attraction material with periods of qualification and comfort without her
getting distracted or losing Emotional Momentum. In addition, you should definitely
not always be focused on her when the two of you are around each other. We call
this the “wax on, wax off” approach, where the “wax on” is you pumping her
attraction to you and the “wax off” is when you’re building comfort, subtly qualifying
her, and talking to other people.

In between attraction material, let her see you interacting with other people.
Remember Observed and Told DHVs from Magic Bullets? Social Circle interactions
are an amazing place to make these happen. Rather than you having to subtly slip
in information about your good qualities in normal conversation with a woman, you
have ample opportunities for your and her friends to be telling her about these and
why she should be interested in you. If you've kept up with our new models offemale
psychology, you'll know how powerful this can be.

MRB4: Sexualization

This is a crucial step. It only occurs once she has given you indicators that
she is attracted to you. If she hasn't, keep cycling between the first three
steps above until she does. This is the calibration phase of the model. Social
Circle pickups can be a bit slower and occasionally more random than cold approach.
This ‘cycling' process is one of the main features of this model, which can go over a
period of weeks if not months in hard cases.

Once you have GENUINE indicators of attraction (Magic Bullets has a list of dozens
of things women do when they are attracted, but you probably know the basics by
now... touching her hair, laughing at your jokes, staying with you when her friends
go off to the bathroom or another part of where you are at, triangular gazing etc),
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you can start to sexualize.

Sexualization includes decreasing the personal space between you, making and
holding intense eye contact, glancing between her eyes and her lips when talking,
and sexualizing the conversation (e.g. "your hair smells really fucking good" after
talking to her next to her ear or "you look incredibly sexy in that dress"). A lot of this
is subtle, and should not be apparent to others in the social circle. Discretion is the
key here, which is where sexualization blends into MRB5 - closure.

It is true that this phase can be a more risky one. Although this is described in more
depth in the Social Circle Masteryseminars, just briefly, you start with small hoop
sexualization - decreasing the personal space between you, making and holding
intense eye contact, go into medium hoop sexualization (glancing between her
eyes and her lips when talking, increased kino, kino pinging) and then move
into large hoop sexualization (verbalization of your sexual intent) thereafter.

MRB5: Closing

This phase relates to the process of escalating, isolating and closing. It is not
dissimilar to normal cold approach escalation and closing, but it's much more
important to set discretion frames.

You also need to get her into what we call a sexual situation - when you're alone with
her, past the Comfort phase of theEmotional Progression Model, somewhere where
sex could reasonably happen. Don't appear like you are working hard on logistics,
but this often does take some planning. There are some real-life case studies of this
in Chapter 12 (Social Circles) of Magic Bullets.

The great thing is, if you can do ‘sexualization' properly, then you create insane
amounts of sexual tension because you both want to hook up, but can't due to the
social situation. This is, counter-intuitively, an ideal situation. You should be able to
feel the sexual tension build in this case. Logistically, all that is left is to get her
alone. In fact, a variation of this, which is explored more thoroughly in the Social
Circle Mastery seminar, is not to escalate until you both get to the seduction
location.

That concludes the second article in the ‘Revealing the Social Matrix'
articles, which covers a small part of the issues, theories, tactics and
techniques that we address in Social Circle Mastery. Watch out for the
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third installment of ‘Revealing the Social Matrix,' entitled ‘Achieving Social

Dominance: The Jedi Mind Tricks of Social Interaction'... coming up
whenever I get a chance away volumes of work to write it!!
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精通社交圈游戏之二：社交圈诱惑的秘密公
式
对于爱情体系中新的“精通社交圈游戏”体系的需要已经供不应求了。我刚从伦敦
回来，在那里 Mr.M 和 Braddock 举办了另一个很棒的研讨班，我们必须调 10
个人去。

“精通社交圈游戏”是 Braddock 和 Mr. M 在《灵丹妙药》和“访谈系列第二十

回”（社交圈游戏-Social Circle Game）的基础上肇始的。它始于在论坛会客厅（一
个私人的只限会员的论坛，用于会员和爱情体系导师、之前的训练营，研讨班和
一对一会员之间更加个性化和高级的讨论）的几通谈话，最终成员越来越多，并
且加进了其他一些专家，成了现在的“精通社交圈游戏系统”。它始于对三个问题
的回答，但是此后有了极大的发展：

1. 你如何让一个朋友或者一个“只想做你朋友”的女人做出更多的转变？

2. 你如何营造一个充满 9 分和十分女人的社交圈子，而不是依赖碰巧出去而结
识到她们？

3. 如果你没有时间去当晚搞定通过搭讪结识的 9 分和 10 分女人，而她们可能
会之后放鸽子，你怎样才能牢固建立和她们的社交关系？

对这些问题的答案—有些让人惊奇——成了“精通社交圈游戏”体系的重要组
成部分，但是它不仅如此。今天，我们要通过 Mr. M 的特撰文章来进行更进
一步地讨论。

揭示社交矩阵，第 2 部分：社交圈诱惑的秘密公式。

在第一部分“结识社交圈矩阵”里——你社交生活的结构，我们讨论了一些“精通社
交圈游戏”的基本原理——Mr. M 和 Braddock （合称 MRB）的五步加长诱惑模
型（5 Elongated Seduction model ）（或者被称为加长诱惑模型/the Elongated
Seduction Model）。这个模型用来帮助你勾兑你在任何社交圈结识的女人，例如
宴会，工作场合，或甚至是不经意地介绍。你可以从它的名字看出来，这不是被
设计来速效成功的方法。它有时候会很快奏效，但是这个方法的设计理念的着眼
点是效果而非速度。所以它可能会在当晚奏效，或者需要几周甚或几个月的时间。
这种时间灵活性实际上可以作为你可利用的优点-当时机还没有成熟时，你可以
避免在一个社交圈里因为不当的升级而毁掉自己的价值，你可能以收获多个红利
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性友谊（译者注：friendswith benefits 俗称“炮-友”）收场。

例如，我最近运用加长诱惑模型结识了一个顶级名模，她正好是一个最火辣
和更有名的伦敦俱乐部的海报女郎。这就是我，今天讨论的主角——我只有 5 英
尺 3 英寸（译者注：160 厘米），带着亚洲口音。我不是健身教练或者男模（你
可以阅读《Mr. M.背后的男人》这篇有关我经历和传记的文章。）最终收场发生
在我通过一个朋友结识她的几个月后。当我认识她时，时机还不成熟，所以我运
作这个模型并等待正确的时机到来。我会在下面解释这是如何操作的。

在我这样做之前，要提出一点警告。在进入“精通社交圈游戏”前，你需要有
一个非常强大和充分的心态，这是至关重要的。这也是 Braddock 和我坚持在你
参加“精通社交圈游戏”之前必须对约会科学的原理有充分了解的原因。你需要理
解而不能假装——你能吸引美女而且你已经成功地和美女交往，并且你能很容易
获得更多的美女。你会从“爱情体系训练营”（如果你通过了训练营的最终评估，
你就自然地获得了这种资格）获得这些，我们还偶尔会接收到一些自学能力很强
的学生（通常是彻底地研习了《灵丹妙药》和《爱情体系惯例手册》的人）如果
你没有成熟的心态，拥有一些 9 分和 10 分的美女朋友会让你慢慢发怒，直到让
你疯掉，可能就会让你形成一种饥渴的，去寻求对方关注的、通常与“真命天女
症”（一种对某个特定的女人不健康的、她对你的吸引超过你对她的吸引的某种
执着）相关联的行为。

所以，废话少说，the Elongated Seduction Model 的结构如下：

1、中性的融洽
2、建立价值
3、社交圈吸引
4、爱欲化
5、收场

下面是对每一个阶段的概要。如果要将每个阶段概括到我们在爱情体系的
“精通社交圈游戏”里达到的深度（定制和个性化程度），会需要太长的时间，但
如果你不能够参加我们这个很棒的课程的话，我也会让你从下面获得足够的信息
来运用这个模型。

MRB1:中性的融洽（ Neutral Rapport ）

当你一开始通过社交圈认识某人，你需要保持情感中立。思考一些正常，友好的
谈话而不是想用惯例去提高对方的情绪。这个中性的融洽过程要保持 1 分钟或者
最多两分钟。

正如 Savoy 在《灵丹妙药》的第十二章里强调的，社交圈的介绍已经让你直
接进入了三元模型的吸引阶段。因此你不需要去搭讪，你也不需要去过渡。你不
需要去“破冰”“脱颖而出”或者“同最近搭讪过她的 5000 个男人不同”。你已经是不
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同的了。你是她朋友的朋友。

事实上，如果你的一个朋友将你介绍给一个美女后，你想用《爱情体系惯例
手册》第 1 卷或者第 2 卷中的很多意见开场中的其中一个或者甚至是用提高情绪

的直接开场来激发对方的感情。（译者注：state-pumping ，又称为&quot
umping State". 指 的 是 用 来 提 高 目 标 情 绪 的 行 动 或 者 事 件 。 参 见
《pualingodictionary》），你可能就会显得“过分努力”或者被当做一个“怪异的把
妹家伙”或者要不然就会显得尴尬。 《灵丹妙药》一书定义了八大关键的吸引开关，
大部分女人都会被其吸引，而其中之一就是社交直觉。除非你真正理解你自己的
所作所为，当你第一次通过社交圈被介绍给某人时，除了友好的交谈和中性的和
谐之外的所有任何东西都会被认为是一种社交尴尬。同时，正如 Savoy 指出的，
“美女逃避社交尴尬就像大部分人逃避手榴弹一样。”所以当你被介绍给某人时要
“酷”一点。不要对表达价值担心。保持简单就可以了。当你被介绍给某人时，从
类似“嗨，最近如何？”开始。或者“嗨，我是[姓名]”在谈话最初大约一分钟内，
要保持正常，中性的交谈，如下：

“你是因为[x 的]生日过来的吗？”
“你们是怎么认识的？”
“你是干什么的？”
“我觉得我也是通过[x 人]认识你的。”

你甚至还可以开一些非常轻微地玩笑，但是要适可而止。要考虑“正常和酷”。
你不要试图去建立舒适感，展示你的价值，打破融洽感或者做其他任何事情。

在一两分钟之后，从交谈中抽离。与搭讪不同，你在社交圈游戏中会很清楚
她之后会去哪里（在你的社交圈的组合里），所以像落水的人紧紧抱住救生筏一
样粘着她是没有必要的。事实上，这会让你显得饥渴，而且，再次地表明你缺乏
社交直觉。所以要抽离。（在最初的几分钟之后，一般而言，你应该去关注她的
时间和社交圈的“看门人”（译者注：gatekeeper/看门人在英文里指的是和很多
美女有很好关系的人。）——这是在“精通社交圈游戏”中重要的概念，我希望能
在将来的文章中去讨论。）

MRB2: 建立价值（Build Value ）

如我上述所说，当你在社交圈里结识某人，你是直接进入情感发展模型的吸
引阶段的。一旦你经历了介绍阶段，就是让这个你想把的女人变得被你吸引的时
候了。

不管她是一个在咖啡厅里陌生人或是一个朋友，吸引的创造都是建立在一些
社交动力学和女性心理学的根本法则的基础之上的。吸引是建立在价值基础上。
如果你有足够的价值（“足够”一词经常意味着“超过她认为她自己拥有的”），她就
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会被你吸引。价值和吸引的联系会在“对 Tenmagnet 未来的采访。”中很好地被

解析。

每个女人对男人的价值评定是稍微有点差异的，但是你不必执着于去猜测到
底什么让某个特定的女人感兴趣——《灵丹妙药》一书的一个突破发现就是指出
存在着实际上可以吸引任何女人的八种关键因素，而且不论你的年纪、背景或者
外表如何，你都能够将它们向她全部展示出来。我不打算在社交圈这个论题下讨
论所有这八种因素，但是我想指出一对因素，所以如果你觉得自己不能去参加培
训班，你也能够对于在社交圈游戏的情景下如何考虑价值有一些概念。

1.预选。预选是指一个女人意识到其他和她价值相当或高过她的女人对一个
男人感兴趣，从而她自己对他就更感兴趣的过程。一个女人会感受到这个的，尤
其是在社交圈的情境下。在一个团体里有其他女人被你吸引是非常好的，只要是
这看起来是她们出于自己的原因，而不是因为你在勾引她们。但是，如果你的技
巧还没有达到如此，你可以通过经常结识其他女人和运用身体语言和身体位置来
暗示观察者她们在追求你，来创造预选的假象。 《灵丹妙药》揭示了“锁定”（locking
in）的概念，而这对预选是至关重要的。要利用嫉妒作为你的优势。我准备跳过
对嫉妒详细的讨论，因为它已经在“嫉妒情结-访谈录”中这样好地被 Braddock,
Cajun,和 Tenmagnet 讨论过了。如果你没有听过这个，我建议你听下它前十分
钟的免费材料，或者付费$39.97 下载该访谈，从而能在大概一个小时内快速地
学到高阶嫉妒情结的知识。

2.地位。社会地位不是一个恒久不变的东西。当第一次你单独在不认识其中
任何人的一个酒吧时你可能只有很低的地位，但是如果看门人，经理，老板，侍
者和高价值的客人全部认可你之后，你就会有《灵丹妙药》里所说的“相对社会
价值”。在社交圈游戏中，我们所以称之为情境性地位，是为了强调其易变的性
质。情境性地位也会在你作为看门人（译者注：gatekeeper/看门人在英文里指
的是和很多美女有很好关系的人。）的任何情境下上升，你就有了高价值。你可
以通过开办你自己的派对，组织一个活动，成为一个团队的教练，成为一个社会
组织的核心成员之一等等方式来获得这个。相对价值在搭讪中是一个极佳的工具，
但是在社交圈游戏里确是至关重要的工具。

《灵丹妙药》里其他六个吸引开关在社交圈游戏中依然适用。此外，在社交
圈游戏中，向团体提供良好的情绪，展示在此圈内外的社交地位（展示友谊的联
盟），能够主导，等等，这些都是很重要的。我们会在“精通社交圈游戏”课程里
讨论这些第二位的吸引开关，但是如果你不能够去参加这个课程，希望下面的内
容可以帮助你开始去有所认识。

MRB3 社交圈吸引（Social Circle Attraction ）

这是和价值相联系的。在社交圈里，仍然有大量东西做，来成为这个社交圈里
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最有趣的人和控制 RAS(网状激活体系 Reticular Activation System ——我们会在

“精通社交圈游戏”课程里讨论的高阶概念，是指一种控制一个人注意力的方式)

用来创造吸引的传统技巧（例如，骄傲&风趣，戏弄，失格，等等）应
该加以应用，但是社交圈把妹和搭讪的一个关键不同点是在社交圈游戏里情感动
量（在《灵丹妙药》里定义的）限度大得多。在搭讪中，当你结识一个女人，交
流可能在理论上的任何一个时间点终结，在她不再感兴趣的时候她没有理由再和
你聊天。所以除非她已经在交流中进行了如此多投资（通常在筛选阶段之后，即
情感发展模型的第四阶段），以至于我们可以更为自然地转移到舒适感阶段的高
潮和谷底中去，我们都会将情感动量的问题搁置一旁。

在社交圈游戏中，她和你的聊天和交流突然终止而你没机会在稍后再把到她
的情况不会发生。所以你可以更为轻松地将有趣的吸引材料和一段时期的筛选和
舒适感混合起来，而不会让她变得慌张或者失掉情感动量。此外，在你们俩人在
彼此身边时绝对不要总去关注她。在吸引的材料之间，让她看到你和其他人交流。
还记得《灵丹妙药》里的观察性和陈述性 DHV 吗？社交圈的交往就是一个实现
以上目的极佳的场所。不需要非得巧妙地将关于你优良品质的信息融入到你和一
个女人正常的交谈中，你而是有异常丰富的机会让你和她的朋友告诉她有关于这
些事情，以及告诉她为什么她应该对你感兴趣。如果你有密切留意我们新的女性
心理学的模型，你就会明白这有多么强大。

MRB4:爱欲化（Sexualization ）
这是关键的一步。只有在她给你她被你吸引的信号这才会发生。如果她还没有，
那就持续循环操作以上三个步骤直到她被你吸引。比起搭讪而言，社交圈把妹会
更加耗时和更带有随机性。这“循环”的过程是这个模型的主要特征之一，在难度
很大的情况下，这会持续几周甚至几个月。

一旦你获得这些吸引的信号（《灵丹妙药》里有一个列表，罗列了大量女人
被吸引时的行为特征，但是你也许现在也知道了一些基本的……触摸自己的头发，
对你的笑话发笑，当她的朋友去洗手间或者其他地方时呆在你身边，等等），你
就可以开始爱欲化了。

爱欲化包括，减少你们两人间的私人空间距离，和她进行并保持强烈的眼神
接触，在说话的时候在她的眼睛和嘴唇之间扫过，并将谈话爱欲化（例如，在凑
近她耳边聊天之后，说“你的头发的气味真是太好闻了”或者“你穿这套衣服真性
感”）这些很多情况都是很微妙的，不应该明显地对社交圈里的其他人表现出来。
谨慎小心是关键所在，爱欲化中的谨慎也被融合到了 MRB5——收场——中去。
（译者注：谨慎在我的原创作品【独创】 （实时更新）我对“社交圈游戏”和“玩家
形象”解决方案的探讨中有详细地讨论和着重的强调，当时还没有读过这篇文章，
但是可以看到，只要认真的进行实践和理论归纳，得出的结论和方法往往有很多
相似之处。）
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MRB5:收场（Closing）
这个阶段和升级，隔离和收场相关联。和一般的搭讪中的升级和收场没有什么不
同，但设立谨慎的框架在社交圈游戏中要重要得多。如果你没有运用过框架设定
（frame-setting），那我告诉你这是在爱情体系训练营里一个高阶的方法，但是
你仍然可以从“the Advanced Interview Series by Sinn and Savoy.”访谈录里的
“第 5 卷-框架控制”快速地学习到该知识。

你还需要让她进入我们称之为“爱欲场景”的情境中——当你单独和她相处，
超越了情感发展模型的舒适感阶段，在某个地方爱爱可以自然而言发生。不要表
现得好像你为了逻辑后勤而过分努力，但是这经常也需要一些计划。在《灵丹妙
药》里第 12 章（社交圈）里给出了一些真实的案例研究。

很爽的事情是，如果你能够正确地去“爱欲化”，那么你就可以创造一种疯狂
的性张力，因为你们两人都彼此想去勾兑，但是不能够将此归因于这个社交情境。
这是一个反直觉和理想状态的情境。你应该能够在这个情况下感受到性张力。逻
辑上说，其他所有余下要做的事情就是找到让她单独一人的机会。事实上，这个
的一个变体是，知道你们两人到了诱惑的地点之前，都不要进行升级，这个问题
在“精通社交圈游戏”研讨会里得到了更为彻底地探讨。
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ACHIEVING SOCIAL DOMINANCE:

Becoming the Alpha Male in Social
Circles
By Mr. M
A seduction coach (who works for a different company) once stated that there
should only ever be one alpha male in a social tree and that a PUA should supplant
that alpha male by way of surreptitious ousting. He likened all social groups to a
structure where there was only one top and that to become the top, you should
simply behave like you are already at the top in every social situation that you come
into. The theory is that if your ‘reality’ was stronger, people would accept your
‘reality’ and you would dominate the social setting. He argued that you should
act 'alpha' and you would eventually become the alpha male.

I completely disagree with this perspective. In fact, I know 100% that it is

wrong. We live in the real world here, filled with people who want and deserve
respect. As a simple example of the fallacy of this view, if anyone was to ever try to
act like the boss in the law firm that I am working at (one of the world’s most
prestigious international law firms), I assure you that he would quickly be out of a
job. Think about it from the incumbent alpha male’s perspective - if you were an
alpha male, and there was someone who wanted to break into your group and oust
you by acting dominant, and there was a shift in social power, what would you do?
In primitive times, you would simply kill him. In modern times, you would do the
social or business equivalent and outright reject him or destroy his chances of
accelerating through the social group/business/friendship group, likely by way of
reputational badgering, not offering him any assistance or simply promoting those
who are aligned with you (i.e. the people you like and like you).

The way to become a modern day alpha male is therefore NOT necessarily to be the
leader or alpha male in every group. Yes, the ability to consciously socially dominate
is a good skill to have, particularly in either (a) weaker groups filled with beta males
or (b) cold sets which do not constitute part of your social circle. You can do this
simply by being louder, more verbose, more interesting, talking more etc (i.e.
essentially engaging in more dominant 'alpha male' behavior). But in a social
circle group where there are pre-established alpha males and social lines,
this is not the optimal behavior.
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Braddock and I have tried this 'alpha' approach as a social experiment numerous
times. This tends to have a reasonable success rate in cold sets. However, the
overwhelming observation is that in social circle settings, while it is often possible to
hold court by being the most charismatic, loud, verbose, or ‘in his own reality’
person, it is often the case that this type of behavior, particularly if used to gain
complete social dominance (i.e. steal attention completely) is not widely accepted
by the other alpha males. This happens on both conscious (e.g. they openly don't
like you) or sub-conscious (e.g. they harbor ill feelings towards you and
consequently say negative things about you behind your back). In short,
other alpha males will have an active dislike of the show stealer. They
justify their emotional response through thoughts like, ‘what an idiot’, 'try hard',
'he's a little uncalibrated', 'he's weird', ‘he’s a little too much’, ‘show off’ etc. NOTE
– this applies to SOCIAL SITUATIONS OUTSIDE OF COLD SETS. In cold sets, this
type of obtuse, alpha male behavior can sometimes allow you to get the girl (though
it is no means necessarily ideal in this setting either).

So, why does loud, dominant, alpha male behavior offend a pre-existing social
group with existing alpha males and social alliances? Because you are attempting to
achieve social value without having any actual social value. But on a deeper level,
by acting the way that you act, you represent a threat to the status quo of
the incumbent male’s domination. Instead of aligning with them, you represent
a threat to them. They may not consciously think this, but it is subconsciously felt
through the emotions of jealousy or dislike. Their incentive is thus to bring you
down. This is not behavior that you should necessarily blame people for. It is
human nature to attack or undermine something which threatens your value. The
more willing that you accept that people have a tendency to act to protect their
value on a subconscious level, the quicker that you can work within the boundary
given. As my good friend and mentor Eskay says (paraphrased), 'Life is full of rules
and you have to play within them. But once you know the rules and accept them,
they can be bent to achieve great effect'.

So, just like it is OK to admit you are wrong sometimes, it is OK (and, in fact,
intelligent) in social circles to sometimes defer social power. It is OK to be the
beta male sometimes, particularly when the context governs that this is
appropriate (see law firm example above).

So, how then, do you achieve social dominance? Well, in this day and age, let’s
say that you are part of a number of social trees. Being the sole leader / dominant
male of all of these trees is unlikely and NOT DESIRABLE. This is because, on a
logistic level, being the undisputed alpha male of a group requires maintenance (i.e.
time invested in relationships, hanging out, constantly adding value etc), which
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takes time. You can therefore realistically only be the 'sole' alpha male of a certain
number of groups. This brings me to the crux of this article:

The optimal state of affairs is not to feel like you have to be

sole dominant male in every group that you are a part of and to
‘out-alpha’ all the other males. The optimal state of affairs is
to be considered amongst the ‘leadership of men’ in the
groups that you are part of.

How do you accomplish this? How do you become considered as 'amongst the
leadership of men'? There are a number of ways, but the most effective are:

1. By ALIGNING with the pre existing alpha males of the group; and
2. By showing that you are ALREADY IN the leadership of men in a
SEPARATE TREE that has a RELATIVELY PERCEIVED HIGHER VALUE
than the present group.

I can't emphasize how crucial the two above points are.

People align to value. Value or perceived value augments almost all social human
behavior. And the two social tools above are two of the most crucial
avenues of obtaining value in social situations.

In relation to (1), social alliances with existing alpha males (or males with
situational value) in groups represents incredible value in social
situations. This is why alignment is so important. How you align and build the
alliances with alpha males will be the topic of the next Revealing the Social Matrix
article (drum roll... ).

In relation to (2), above, value is also begotten by being a connector (see the first
article of Revealing the Social Matrix for more on 'connectors') that has access to
other trees. This also means that you are not perceived to be a value leech. As
opposed to someone who latches on to the group, you come into the social group
and add value by being someone who has perceived social connections into other
high value groups. You can make use of these connections by group merging or, an
alternative that is more tactically sound - the introduction of specific high end
individuals to other high end individuals. I don't want to get into the realm of social
networking - it really has nothing to do with pick up and dating. However, the
important principle to take away here is that by being the connector and by
having the perception of the opportunity to add value (even if only
perceived value), you are far more likely to be considered amongst the
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leadership of men.

In summary, you don’t have to completely dominate a social circle group to

create attraction. What you do definitely want to do is (1) align and develop
relationships with high value members, (2) bring value to a group, (3)
avoid trying to ‘out alpha’ everyone (as many dating coaches do) and (4)
show that you are part of other social circles in which you are also in the
leadership of men. These factors will enable you to be considered to be a high
value member who is amongst the highest members of the tree and thus, you will
be naturally attractive to the females. By naturally, I mean that people's natural
social cues will be wired such that they show that you are a dominant member of the
group - an alpha male. Interestingly, if you can illustrate both strong inter-tree (i.e.
within the tree) alliances and intra-tree alliances (i.e. by credibly demonstrating
that you are of a relatively higher position on an adjoining tree which has relatively
more value), then you can actually become MORE attractive than the other alpha
males in the tree.

I hope you have gotten something valuable from this article. This is, once again,
merely a small part of what is covered inSocial Circle Mastery. The final part of
'Revealing the Social Matrix' will go through some Jedi mind tricks and techniques of
social dynamics which you can use in every day social situations to create social
alliances and develop relationships. So stay tuned for the next and final installment
of Revealing the Social Matrix, which will be entitled ‘Jedi Mind Tricks: The Secret
Tools of Social Dynamics’! I’ve written half of it and I think it is the best stuff yet.
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精通社交圈游戏之三：掌控社交，成为社交
圈中的雄性领袖
By Solievil（所依华）

曾经有某个约会导师（此人曾在各个约会公司工作过）说每个社交树（Social tree）
只能有一个雄性领袖，而一个 PUA 需要通过暗中争夺从而来取而代之。他把所
有社交团体比作一栋建筑，只有一个顶点，你需要站在顶端。他认为你只要表现
地像个雄性领袖，那么别人就会把你当作雄性领袖。理论基础是：如果你的框架
更强，那么别人就会接受你的框架，然后你就掌控了社交环境。

他认为你应该表现地像个雄性领袖，那么你最终会成为雄性领袖。

我完全不同意他的观点。事实上，我认为这个是 100%错的。我们活在现实世界，
到处是希望得到也应该得到尊重的个体。用一个简单的例子来证明这个观点是错
误的，如果有某个人试着在一个公司里表现地像他的老板那样的话，比我所在的
公司（Solievil 注：顺便说一下，Mr. M 还是一名成功的律师，高收入人群），那
么他很快就会丢掉他的工作。

我们从现任的雄性领袖的角度来想想 – 如果你是一个圈子内的雄性领袖，现在
有个人闯进了你的圈子，并且他表现地很强势，要把你取而代之，你会怎么做？
如果是你在原始社会，那么你肯定会杀了他。在现代社会，你肯定会把他踢出去，
或者完全毁掉他在你的社交圈、商业圈、朋友圈中地位上升的机会，你会毁掉他
的声誉，不给他任何帮助，还有把机会让给你的同伴（比如那些你喜欢或者喜欢
你的人）。

在现代社会，成为雄性领袖 没有必要 成为某一个群体的领导者或者雄性领袖。

是的，社交掌控的能力是一项非常好的能力，尤其是在（a）一个到处是贝塔雄
性（Beta males）的群体或者是（b）一个不属于你社交圈一部分的陌生组合（cold
sets）中。你可以通过说话更响亮、更多、更有趣等等（也就是表现地像个雄性
领袖），来掌控社交。

但是在一个已经有雄性领袖和社会秩序的社交群体中，这不是最好的方法。

Braddock 和我对此实验过无数次了。在一个陌生的团体中，这有时会有用。但
是在大多数社交环境中，虽然你也能够通过表现地非常有魅力、说话大声、说话
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多、或者“沉浸在自己的世界里”什么的来掌控组合，但是，这种行为不会得到已
经存在的雄性领袖的认同。雄性领袖会同时在意识层面（他们会公开表现出不喜
欢你）和潜意识层面（他们内在对你不满，最终导致他们会讲一些对你不利的话
从而影响你的游戏。）

简单的来说，就是其他雄性领袖不会喜欢你。

他们会想“哪来的傻逼啊”“太装逼了”“他没有校准好”“他这个人怪怪的”“他太爱
表现了”等等。注意：这适用于除了陌生组合以外的所有社交情境。在陌生组合
中，这种不是很明显地雄性领袖的行为有时会让你把到妹纸（当然了，在这种情
况下要把到妹也没必要这样做）

那么为什么说话更响亮、更多、更有趣等等冒犯了社交群体中的雄性领袖和社交
联盟？因为你没有真正的社交价值（social value）却想要得到社交价值。

更深层次地来说，就是通过你的行为，你成为现有群体中的雄性领袖的威胁。你
成了他的威胁，而不是他的同盟。他们可能没有有意识地思考这些，但是在潜意
识层面，他们对你产生了嫉妒或者厌恶的情绪。于是，他们要把你搞垮。

当然了，你不应该因此责怪他们。这是人的本性，所有人都会攻击或者破坏那些
对他们的价值造成威胁的事物。

你越是在潜意识层面认同他们的行为和他们在群体中的价值，你就能在限定的规
则下做越多的你想做的事。

就像我的好朋友，同时也是我的导师 Eskay 说的“人生中有很多规则，你必须按

着规则玩。但一旦你了解并认同了这些规则，那么它们可以用来帮你实现更大的
成就。”

就像承认你有时会犯错没什么大不了的，同样，在社交圈中有时延迟得到社
交权利（socialpower）也没什么。有时当一个贝塔也没什么，尤其是当前的环
境需要你这样做的时候。

那么，你怎样才能是实现掌控社交呢？在今天，你可能是很多社交树的一部分。
成为所有这些社交树的唯一领袖是不现实的，也是不可取的。因为，从逻辑的层
面来讲，成为一个绝对的雄性领袖需要维护（也就是你需要投资时间、价值到这
些关系中等等），也就是说，你只能做到成为某一些群体的雄性领袖。而这，把
我们引到了本文的关键：

l 最佳的状态是你没必要成为所有群体中的唯一领袖。最佳的状态是你成为你所
在的群体的“领袖之一”。
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那怎么来实现这个？你怎么成为“领袖之一”？有非常多的方法，最有效的方法是：

l 通过展示 你已经是另外一个 对这个群体有相对价值的群体 的领袖之一 来

和群体中已有的雄性领袖 形成结盟。
再怎么强调上面这两点都不为过。

人们以价值为基础形成联盟。价值或者相对价值几乎增强所有社交行为。上面的
两个社交工具是在社交情境中得到价值的最关键的方法。

关于第一条：在社交情境和群体中已有的雄性领袖（或者拥有情境价值的雄性）
结盟让你展示了巨大的价值。这就是为什么联盟是如此地重要。

关于第二条：价值也可以通过成为联系者（connector）产生，也就是有进入其
他社交树的资格。这也意味着你不被认为是价值榨取者。和索取者不同，你进入
社交团体中，通过你和其他相关的高价值群体有联系来注入价值。你可以通过这
种联系来融合组合，或者把某个高层次的个体介绍给其他高层次的个体们。这里
的关键原理是：通过做一个联系者，还有通过被认为是一个将来会注入价值的人，
你将会得到更多的成为领袖之一的机会。

总结：你没必要完全地掌控一个社交群体来产生吸引力。你必须做的是：（1）
和高价值的人建立关系、联盟，（2）给群体带来价值，（3）避免装得像个雄
性领袖（就像许多约会导师做的那样），还有（4）展示出你已经是其他社交圈
的领袖之一了。

这些会让你被其他人认为是处在社交树高层的高价值男人，你将能够 自然地 吸
引女人。

有趣的是，如果你展示你同时（1）在社交树内和领袖联盟，是领袖之一（2）你
是与之相关的其他社交树的领袖之一。那么你会比这个社交树中的其他领袖更加
有吸引力。

希望你从我这篇文章中得到了一些有价值的东西。但这，说一下，只是我们的《精
通社交圈》产品的一部分而已。
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Golden Rule of building a new social

circle
By Braddock
In our Social Circle Mastery seminar Mr. M and I call this the "Golden Rule" for
starting a new tree. Go for respect first and popularity second. It's easy to gain
popularity. It's brutal to earn back the respect that you gave away up front. This
applies with guys and girls.

Sometimes you may try to appease an asshole of the group or try to 'go along to get
along' by doing what you think is popular, but the truth is you are only digging a
deeper hole. This goes back to the old David D quote of, "Trying to trade status for
acceptance and approval." (We've all messed this one up). I know lots of guys who
are popular, but are nowhere near acquiring a power broker seat within their social
circle. Guys in the power broker seats date the hottest and most women in any given
social circle.

This does not mean become the lame try hard guy who tries to play leader all the
either. That will get you opposite of respect just as fast. You can easily gain respect
without trying to be the leader. Just be real and act out of your own intentions
regardless of what the group says or does without being to rigid either way.

Fuck this could, and may, turn into a 10 page post someday, but for now simply
remember the golden rule of building a new social circle.

Respect first, popularity second. When you get good, you go for both at the same
time.

Few of the things I think of when I think of respect. I'm sure there are many more....

1. Strong Boundaries
2. Don't give people any more respect than they earn.
3. Honesty at all cost.
4. Authentic at all cost. (Fuck what everyone thinks)
5. Shine by actions, not by words.
6. Abundance mentality (With everything)
7. People must earn your praise. Your praise is as rare as Gold. You don't hand it out
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unless people truly deserve it.

8. You are never jealous. (See number 6)
9. Only laugh if something is truly funny. (No courtesy laughs) Yet, you would never
withhold laughter.
10. You like, but don't need others validation.
11. Apologize rarely, but it means a lot when you do.
12. Keep your secrets. Why would you share them with people who don't matter?
13. "Don't spend major time with minor people." -Deleanor Roosevelt (I.E. Negative,
people who make excuses...etc)
14. It's hard to get "in" with you. You are nice to everyone, but you don't get close
to just anyone. They have to earn it.
“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you
give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must
undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the
appellation.”
-George Washington
15. Your time is precious. Don't let people disrespect your time, yet expect you to
respect theirs.
16. Don't ask advice from the weak. Better yet, don't ask advice from anyone who
isn't living the life you want to live.
17. Never lean or leak emotionally on other people. (May be the quickest way to lose
respect. People who are not self reliant are disgusting!) This does not mean you
can't ask favors or advice. This means you are emotionally fragile and need others
approval to know you are ok.
18. Never change your beliefs, values, sense of humor, or bend the truth in the face
of value. (Read this one 100 times. Most important. Every time I have broke this law
I've hated myself for it!!! Anytime someone breaks this law around me, I've hated
them for it.)
19. Has no problem teasing or qualifying people of high value, because you don't
consider them higher value. You just consider them people. People with high and
low value characteristics.
20. Favorite David D quote......Learn to say "No" a lot. Also, be ok hearing "No."

Have a good holiday weekend!

If you are going to the lake, wear your arm floaties

-Braddock
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构建社交圈的黄金法则
By 也做把妹达人

在我们快速社交圈建立小组中我和 Mr.M 把这个叫做黄金法则，这个法则适用于

开始建立一个新的圈子，先寻求尊重然后再让自己受欢迎，想受到欢迎不难。把
最初丢失掉的尊重再找回来却是件很困难的事。这个男孩和女孩中都很适用。

有些时候你尝试着去做个小丑哗众取宠但是事实上你做的却适得其反。这个
可以引用 David D 的话尝试着用自己的身份换取认可和赞同（我们却都把这个法
则弄糟了）。我了解到那些受欢迎的人，在他们的社交圈中都是主导和领袖。在
特定的社交圈那些有权势的男人约会那些最受欢迎女人。

这并不是说让菜鸟时刻尝试着扮演领导者的角色。那会使你很快的失去尊重。
你可以轻易地获得尊重而不用尝试着做一个领导者。只要无论什么情况下你当你
的圈子说或者做什么的时候，表达你最真实的情感和想法别太拘谨。

先获得尊重，然后才能变得受欢迎。当你更纯熟的时候，你会同时获得两者。
这只是我想到的一部分，事实上还有很多。

1. 很强的框架（不知道对不对，实在找不出合适的解释，望大家指教）

2. 他不值得你给他太多的尊重时候就坚决不跟给他

3. 诚信第一

4. 做最真的你

5. 牛逼是通过行动，而不是靠你的嘴

6. 情感丰富

7. 你对他人的认同像金子一样贵重，人们必须争取你的赞同。不要轻易的 去
认可某人除非他真值得你这样去做。

8. 永远不要去嫉妒别人

9. 只有当事情真的好笑的时候才笑，别微笑，也不要发出笑声
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10. 你喜欢别人认可，但你不需要别人来认可你（走自己的路，让别人说去吧）

11. 做事情就要做到位做好，尽量少道歉。

12. 坚守自己的秘密，为什么和那些不关心你的人分享他们呢？

13. 别把你主要的时间花费在那些次要的人物上。

14. 和你做真正的朋友很难（自己拿一手），你对每个人都很好，他们必须通过争
取才能接近你。对每个人都彬彬有礼，却只和很少一部分人有亲密来往 。在
你给这些少数人你的自信之前必须让他们经历考验。真正的友谊就像一盆弱
小的植物，在他长成参天大树之前必须经历和承受住磨难。

15. 你的时间是非常宝贵的，别让别人不尊重你的时间，除非你尊重他们的 时
间。

16. 别向弱者寻求建议。向那些拥有你向往的地位的人寻求建议。

17. 永远别像别人泄露情感方面事情（这会让你最快的失去尊敬，如果一个人不
能依靠他自己那是最令人厌恶的事情）这不是说你不能向别人寻求建议或者
支持。不要让别人觉得你情感很脆弱需要别人的认可才能感觉良好

18. 永远不要改变你的信仰，价值，幽默感，在金钱和利益面前立场要坚定。
（读 100 遍这条因为他太重要了，我会很厌恶自己当我破坏这个法则的时候，
我也很厌恶那些破坏这条法则的我周围的人）

19. 别困惑于嘲笑或者去认可那些高价值的人，因为你根本不认为他们有更高的
价值，你只把他们当成那些有高或者低价值性格的人。
（好像就是别老害怕对
别人做什么，要放得开，因为你是价值最高的人）

20. 最喜欢 David D 这句话，尝试着拒绝别人，当被别人拒绝时候也要感觉良好。

 泡学网

When to pull the trigger in your social

circle
Question:
“In my social circle how do I know when to start pouring on the attraction material
or when to wait?”

Answer:
Social Circle attraction doesn’t begin until compliance begins.

Compliance Increases = Frequency and Intensity of my attraction game

increases

Compliance Decreases = Frequency and Intensity of my attraction game

decreases

Compliance Defined: “A disposition or tendency to yield to the will of others.”

When I used to help The Don on his bootcamps he would say, “Getting laid is
probably 70% about getting compliance.” I couldn’t agree more. In this article I will
show you why that % is even higher in social circle game.

A Strange Paradox….
One thing you will notice in social circle settings is that pouring on
the attraction material to early can have major repercussions. If it hits...great...but
if it doesn't, you can create an awkward situation that isn't going away anytime
soon.

Most guys either try to pull the trigger way too early or way too late. Guys who pull
the trigger with women way to late have a hard time getting attraction and asserting
themselves in their group and often find themselves in the friend zone.

On the other end of the spectrum are the guys who try to pull the trigger far too
early. These guys treat their social circle like it’s a night club and basically cold
approach and game every girl in their social circle. They make the situation very
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uncomfortable and come across as gamey or sleazy. They have a problem getting
attraction because the women of the group see them as try hard and low value.

The third type of guy is the one who used to pull the trigger way too late (i.e. friend
zone), found pickup literature and are now the guys who are attempting to pull the
trigger WAY to early (i.e. overly pushy gamey guy).

I can remember spending a great deal of time in all three of these categories before
figuring out how to find a balance that was effective. I noticed that in cold approach
“fortune favors the bold” but in social circle game this mentality often did more
harm than good. I quickly noticed that social circle game was much more about
timing and patience. On the other hand, I also noticed that the guys in my social
circle who were getting laid consistently by the hottest girls were some of the
boldest guys I’d ever met. They would say and do things around women that if
anyone else in the group would have tried, the women would have been deeply
offended and turned off, but when these guys did it the women liked them even
more.

So be bold….but don’t be bold…but do!?!?!?!??......anyone else confused? What a

strange paradox.

The Recipe for Compliance

Let’s think about how social circles or social encounters for that matter work. People
become more relaxed and more compliant as a result of any one and usually a
combination of these 3 things:

1. High Value: Communicating with someone you consider being a high value
member of the group. You want their acceptance and you want them to align with
you, so are much more likely to bend on something with them that you wouldn’t
necessarily bend on with someone you considered lower value. You might even
create rationalizations that paint just average behavior or even poor behavior in a
positive light (i.e. peer pressure, laughing at an average joke way harder than it
deserved, jumping to defend or have their back without concern for the validity of
their argument, being more accommodating or forgiving of insurrections from them
than you would from most people. (Don’t say you don’t do this….everyone does this
to some degree or another. You are hardwired biologically to do so).

2. Time: The more time we spend with people the less guarded we are and the more
we relax around people. When we first meet we are out of sync with people and we
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are not sure what their intentions are, if we should trust/like them, if they like us
etc… Time remedies this because as time passes we get a more static look at how
people will behave on a consistent level. Hanging out with someone 1 time is not a
very strong measure of how people are going to treat you consistently, but hanging
out 20 times will give you a pretty good idea. Over time unspoken roles will be
defined for each member of the group and as these roles are accepted, stability and
comfort are born within the group. Over time you will naturally start to see what
people’s boundaries are, their weakness and strengths, and what makes them feel
good and bad. We use this knowledge as a blueprint to determine the nature of each
individual relationship in our life…. “Ok, I can make those kinds of jokes around Billy,
but they upset Sam.” Or… “Sara laughs hard when I playfully tease her, but Jenny
gets really upset.” If someone treats us well consistently and makes us feel good
when we are around them, over time we will become far more compliant to them
than to a stranger or to someone within the group we do not feel good around.

3. Shared Experiences: Have you ever noticed that we have a tendency to let our
family members get away with saying and doing things to us that we would never
allow a stranger to do or say? You likely have an archive the size of the Library of
Congress full of memories and feelings associated with each family member. When
you look at a picture of a family member you may flash multiple good and bad
memories and experience a wide range of feelings in a split second.

The more experiences (good, bad, or neutral) you have with someone, the more
connected you feel to that person. This likely explains why soldiers or athletes that
endure hardship together report feeling like those around them feel like brothers or
family. When we have someone we feel extremely close to and consider part of our
group, we are going to bend a lot more and let things slide that aren’t that big of a
deal, but might have been if a stranger tried them. We let them slide because we
have tons of shared experiences and time spent together that proves that ‘most’ of
the time this person treats me like X and as a result I’m not worried about him
saying or doing any one thing. His or her behavior is most consistently like X so my
mind is not alarmed when he does something out of the ordinary now and then.

“How do all of these help me know when to pull the trigger?”

To illustrate the above, think back to the time when you had met one of your closest
guy friends. When you first met you were likely fairly formal and both of you were
holding your cards pretty close to your chest. You didn't know him that well and you
didn't know his boundaries. As time passes and as you hang out more and more you
begin to figure out each other’sboundaries and you both begin to open up. If you
enjoy your time with each other and your time spent with him makes you feel good
 泡学网

emotions, then you will see him as high value to you. As this happens each of you
become more and more compliant to one another. He can tease you, you
can tease him. He can ask you to do something within reason and you can ask him
to do something within reason.

What about a guy friend you met 2 days ago? You are basically back to square one
with the new guy. You aren't going totease him as rough and you wouldn't ask him
for a favor and you would not be too excited about him asking for a sizable favor
from you.

Now go back and re-read the above and replace guy with girl. As you spend time
with a woman in your social circle and you share experiences, each of you open up
more and each of you are more likely to loosen up your boundaries toward each
other. HERE LIES YOUR WINDOW TO ESCALATE!!!!!

Time + Shared Experience + Value = Compliance

As time, shared experiences, and value increase.....so does compliance. Have you
ever been the new guy at a house party and you were flirting with a woman and it
was going pretty well and then a guy from her inner social circle yells from across
the room for her to come over and join them....and she does, regardless of how
good things were going with you and her?

How did he pull her away from you? Is it because he's "so alpha".....no. Is it because
he's got some quantum game.....no. Could that same guy go to any club in America
and yell at a random hot stranger and she would break her conversation and walk to
him?......no.

He can pull off this magical feat, ONLY IN HIS social circle because he has more time,
shared experiences, and value with that woman than you do and as a result.....he
has more compliance from her than you do. He can get her to do more with less
effort.

Ever notice you can joke rougher and get away with snide and edgy comments with
women in your social circle? Could you have said those things to those women when
you first met? Of course not, but now they laugh. Chalk this up to time + shared
experience + value = increase in compliance.

So when do you really turn up the attraction game???? Well, it should be obvious by
now, but the answer is...as compliance increases, your attraction game can increase.
 泡学网

Before then, you are essentially running cold approach game, hoping it hits.

This does not mean stay in friend mode until compliance is high and this does not
mean you should not run attraction game until compliance is high. It just means
increase the frequency and intensity of your attraction game as compliance
increases.

What if compliance decreases for some reason? Let's say she starts dating someone
or for whatever reason you can sense that you have lost some compliance since last
time you hung out.....Well then the frequency and intensity of your attraction game
should decrease. This could go back and forth tons of times before it finally hits.

So remember…

Compliance Increases = Frequency and Intensity of my attraction game increases

Compliance Decreases = Frequency and Intensity of my attraction game decreases

Mr. M and I cover this in great detail in our Social Circle Mastery seminar.

After this commercial break from our sponsors we’ll be right back,

-Braddock

Check out my new blog: Braddock

 泡学网

社交圈游戏游戏开始的时机
By Lamntree

当她只是你的一个朋友时，你该何时采取行动推进关系进阶

你该何时并且如何去泡一个你喜欢的社交圈里的女性朋友？

大多数男人开始行动的时机太早或太晚了。两种做法都是错误的。

如果你等的时间太长了，对她来说，你也许会失去新鲜感，并且很容易掉入
友谊区。

如果你行动的太早了，你看起来就会像是一个庸俗的人，并且让她感到尴尬
和不舒服。“女人应付社交尴尬的方式和男人应付手榴弹的方式一样。”她们把它
扔出去。所以，不要成为社交手榴弹。不要在社交圈里使用你的搭讪技巧，不要
像在夜店里那样对待你的社交圈。

我曾经在这两个极端都尝试过，部分是因为要回答上面的问题真的不容易。
例如，搭讪的时候你要相信“幸运垂青有勇气的人”，但是在社交圈把妹游戏里，
这种想法通常会伤害到你。

除了一些特例，我遇见过的 能不断吸引他社交圈里最靓女人的家伙 是我见

过的最大胆的人之一。

所以，大胆一点，但是不要冒险。有人对此感到迷惑吗？我所需要知道的仅
仅就是 你该何时并且如何去泡一个你喜欢的社交圈里的女性朋友。
幸运的是，基本的回答是简单的，我现在与大家在这里分享一下。

投资开始之后，社交圈把妹游戏就开始了

投资增长=把妹游戏的频率和强度增长

投资降低=把妹游戏的频率和强度降低

在这里，投资——特指投资动量——是指一个女人服从你的引导，对你的示
意有反馈。投资可以是一些对一些小事的投资（例如当你和她第一次见面时 她
和你来到外面露台进行一次安静的交谈），或者是对一些大事的投资（例如当你
半夜 2 点打电话给她要她到你家里来）。回短信的投资比接电话的投资要小[这就
是为什么当你不确定她对你有多少兴趣的时候，你应该通过短信开始和她交流]。
 泡学网

理解投资的概念对社交圈把妹游戏来说非常重要。

让她对你投资的 3 个秘密

人们更愿意对有以下三个要素的人进行投资——或建立投资动量。这三个因
素能单独起作用，也能同时起作用，所以最好尽可能多的去建立这三个因素。

1 展示高价值：人们更愿意投资于团体中的高价值成员。为了获得发展每个
人都这样做，女人天生在 发现谁是社交圈里最有价值的人 的方面能力很强。

2 相处时间：你认识某人的时间越长，你和某人的共同经历越多，你对某人
的印象就越强。所以，即使她在第一次和你见面时已经认为你有高价值了，她可
能对想要投资于你的愿望还是不够强烈。如果她碰巧和你见过好几次面了，并且
每次见面都确认和加深了对你的印象，她就会更愿意对你投资。建立信任感在这
里也很重要——如果她意识到跟随你的引导不会让她犯错或引起社交尴尬的话，
她会在将来更愿意服从你的引导。

3 共同经历：你和某人的共同经历越多，你和某人之间的联系感就会越多。
即使这些共同经历是负面的，也能加强你们之间的联系感，你会更愿意服从某人
的领导，除非你通过过去的经验和观察发现这是一个坏主意。

那么。。。这三个因素如何帮助我意识到我应该何时采取行动使关系进阶呢？

回想一下你第一次和你最要好的同性朋友见面的情景。你们当时甚至可能会
正式地交换名片。你们互相都不怎么了解，或者不知道对方的底线在哪里。几次
见面过后，你们互相有了了解，知道彼此的底线在哪里，并且你们互相都敞开了
胸怀。如果你们享受在一起度过的时光，并且对方使你感到心情不错，那么你会
认为对方对你有高价值。然后你们会愿意彼此投资。他会戏弄你，你也会戏弄他。
你们会更愿意照顾彼此的需求。

你是如何看待 2 天前认识的同性朋友的呢？可能投资动量还没有被建立起来，
所有的事情都是平等的，你们几乎不愿意对彼此进行投资。

现在，把上面两段话中的“他”换成“她”。当你花时间和你社交圈中的那个她
在一起，你们应该彼此敞开胸怀，意识到彼此的底线在哪里，并变得更愿意对彼
此进行投资。这就是采取行动使关系进阶的时机。重复一遍：

投资=相处时间+共同经历+展示高价值

范例
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你曾经作为一个新人出现在一个家庭聚会中吗？在那里你和一个女人调情，
事情进展的不错，然后她社交圈里的一个家伙在屋子另一边大声喊她过去加
入他们。。。这时，是不是无论你和她正在做的事情有多么好，她都丢下你回
到她朋友身边了？

她朋友是如何从你身边拉走她的呢？是因为他很有“雄性领袖”气质吗？不是。
她朋友可以在全美任何一个俱乐部对任何一个陌生的性感女人喊叫，然后就
能让她打断她的谈话走到他身边去吗？也许不会。

他只能在他的社交圈里做到这一点，因为他比你在她身上花了更多时间，比
你有更多和她的共同经历，对她来说比你有更高的价值。对她来说，他比你
有更多投资动量。他可以用较小的努力让她做更多的事情。（服从测试）

或者你是否注意到 你可以和你社交圈里的女人开黄色低级笑话 和显得粗

野？你可以和你初次见面的女人这么做吗？显然不能。（开玩笑）

再次强调 投资=相处时间+共同经历+展示高价值

所以，你应该何时真正开始把妹游戏？好吧，现在答案已经很明显了。。。当
投资增长的时候，你的把妹游戏就可以升级了。在这之前，你实际上是在玩
搭讪游戏，祈祷它能起作用。

这不是意味着在高投资之前你要呆在友谊区，不是意味着在高投资之前你不
要玩把妹游戏。这只是意味着你把妹游戏（服从测试+开玩笑）的频率和强
度要和投资增长的频率和强度保持一致。

如果因为某些原因投资降低了怎么办？让我们假设她开始和其他人约会，或
者你感到由于你上次的糟糕表现你失去了一些她对你的投资。好吧，这时你
应该降低你把妹游戏的频率和强度。在游戏最终成功之前，这事也许会来回
发生好几次。
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