BAUMRIND’S PARENTING STYLES
Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parents are often thought of as disciplinarians.
They use a strict discipline style with little negotiation possible. Punishment is
common.
Communication is mostly one way: from parent to child. Rules usually are not
explained.
Parents with this style are typically less nurturing.
Expectations are high with limited flexibility.
You believe kids should be seen and not heard.
When it comes to rules, you believe it's "my way or the highway."
You don't take your child's feelings into consideration.
If any of those ring true, you might be an authoritarian parent. Authoritarian
parents believe kids should follow the rules without exception.
Authoritarian parents are famous for saying, "Because I said so," when a
child questions the reasons behind a rule. They are not interested in
negotiating and their focus is on obedience.
They also don't allow kids to get involved in problem-solving challenges or
obstacles. Instead, they make the rules and enforce the consequences with
little regard for a child's opinion.
Authoritarian parents may use punishments instead of discipline. So rather
than teach a child how to make better choices, they're invested in making
kids feel sorry for their mistakes.
Children who grow up with strict authoritarian parents tend to follow rules
much of the time. But, their obedience comes at a price.
Children of authoritarian parents are at a higher risk of developing self-
esteem problems because their opinions aren't valued.
They may also become hostile or aggressive. Rather than think about how to
do things better in the future, they often focus on the anger they feel toward
their parents. Since authoritarian parents are often strict, their children may
grow to become good liars in an effort to avoid punishment.
Authoritative Parenting
What is authoritative parenting? Authoritative parents are reasonable and nurturing, and
set high, clear expectations. Children with parents who demonstrate this style tend to be
self-disciplined and think for themselves. This style is thought to be most beneficial to
children.
Disciplinary rules are clear and the reasons behind them are explained.
Communication is frequent and appropriate to the child’s level of understanding.
Authoritative parents are nurturing.
Expectations and goals are high but stated clearly. Children may have input into
goals
You put a lot of effort into creating and maintaining a positive
relationship with your child.
You explain the reasons behind your rules.
You enforce rules and give consequences, but take your child's feelings
into consideration.
If those statements sound familiar, you may be an authoritative parent.
Authoritative parents have rules and they use consequences, but they also
take their children's opinions into account. They validate their children's
feelings, while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge.
Authoritative parents invest time and energy into preventing behavior
problems before they start. They also use positive discipline strategies to
reinforce good behavior, like praise and reward systems.
Researchers have found kids who have authoritative parents are most likely
to become responsible adults who feel comfortable expressing their opinions.
Children raised with authoritative discipline tend to be happy and successful.
They're also more likely to be good at making decisions and evaluating
safety risks on their own.
Permissive Parenting
Permissive or Indulgent parents mostly let their children do what they want and offer
limited guidance or direction. They are more like friends than parents.
Their discipline style is the opposite of strict. They have limited or no rules and
mostly let children figure problems out on their own.
Communication is open but these parents’ let children decide for themselves
rather than giving direction.
Parents in this category tend to be warm and nurturing.
Expectations are typically minimal or not set by these parents.
You set rules but rarely enforce them.
You don't give out consequences very often.
You think your child will learn best with little interference from you.
If those statements sound familiar, you might be a permissive parent.
Permissive parents are lenient. They often only step in when there's a
serious problem.
They're quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of "kids will be kids."
When they do use consequences, they may not make those consequences
stick. They might give privileges back if a child begs or they may allow a
child to get out of time-out early if he promises to be good.
Permissive parents usually take on more of a friend role than a parent role.
They often encourage their children to talk with them about their problems,
but they usually don't put much effort into discouraging poor choices or bad
behavior.
Kids who grow up with permissive parents are more likely to struggle
academically.
They may exhibit more behavioral problems as they don't appreciate
authority and rules. They often have low self-esteem and may report a lot of
sadness.
They're also at a higher risk for health problems, like obesity, because
permissive parents struggle to limit junk food intake. They are even more
likely to have dental cavities because permissive parents often don't enforce
good habits, like ensuring a child brushes his teeth.
Uninvolved Parenting
Uninvolved parents give children a lot of freedom and generally stay out of their way.
Some parents may make a conscious decision to parent in this way, while others are
less interested in parenting or unsure of what to do.
No particular discipline style is utilized. An uninvolved parent lets a child mostly
do what he wants, probably out of a lack of information or caring.
Communication is limited.
This group of parents offers little nurturing.
There are few or no expectations of children.
You don't ask your child about school or homework.
You rarely know where your child is or who she is with.
You don't spend much time with your child.
If those statements sound familiar, you might be an uninvolved parent.
Uninvolved parents tend to have little knowledge of what their children are
doing. There tend to be few rules. Children may not receive much guidance,
nurturing, and parental attention.
Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don't devote
much time or energy into meeting children's basic needs. Uninvolved parents
may be neglectful but it's not always intentional. A parent with mental health
issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care
for a child's physical or emotional needs on a consistent basis.
At other times, uninvolved parents lack knowledge about child development.
And sometimes, they're simply overwhelmed with other problems, like work,
paying bills, and managing a household.
Children with uninvolved parents are likely to struggle with self-esteem
issues.
