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Schema Handout - Angry Protector

The document discusses the "Angry Protector Mode" coping mode. [1] This mode uses aggression to push others away and intimidate them in order to remain emotionally distant and feel safe. [2] However, this mode becomes maladaptive in adulthood. [3] Schema therapy helps identify maladaptive coping modes and replace them with a "Healthy Adult Mode" which sets limits on anger and validates vulnerable feelings in a constructive way.

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Tina Trikaliti
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872 views2 pages

Schema Handout - Angry Protector

The document discusses the "Angry Protector Mode" coping mode. [1] This mode uses aggression to push others away and intimidate them in order to remain emotionally distant and feel safe. [2] However, this mode becomes maladaptive in adulthood. [3] Schema therapy helps identify maladaptive coping modes and replace them with a "Healthy Adult Mode" which sets limits on anger and validates vulnerable feelings in a constructive way.

Uploaded by

Tina Trikaliti
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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OCTOBER 2021

ANGRY PROTECTOR MODE

Maladaptive Coping Angry Protector Mode


Modes The Angry Protector Mode pushes others away with aggression.
Coping Modes which helped us The Angry Protector mode is a FLIGHT mode. This mode uses a wall of
survive childhood become aggression to intimidate others so they stay away. People who use this mode
Maladaptive Coping Modes in are fearful of allowing others to become emotionally close, so they use
adulthood. threats, verbal attacks, physical violence or silent hostility to keep people
distant. They don't like being threatened or challenged and can respond with
As children, we don't have many force. Kind of like an echidna, which uses its spiky exterior to protect its soft
ways to respond to difficult or belly.
dangerous situations. A child's
coping strategies are simply fight, As a result, people in Angry Protector mode usually get what they demand.
flight or freeze. We use them to Left alone. While in this mode, they will tell themselves this means they stay
reduce distress in ourselves or safe, their Vulnerable Child is often screaming in silence as they suffer from
others, by pleasing others, staying abandonment and isolation.
quiet or detaching from what is
happening. The Angry Protector Mode is different from the Angry Child Mode as the Angry
Protector aims to push people away and the Angry Child seeks to draw people
However, as we get older and we in for help. It is also different from Bully-Attack which aims to put people
are no longer in the same down to appear more superior.
environment, so our old coping
strategies don't fit anymore and
start to cause us problems. Our The Role of the Healthy Adult Mode
once helpful childhood survival Healthy Adult Mode encourages you to let down your guard.
strategies become maladaptive The MCMs are activated by fear of perceived vulnerability, thus the Healthy
coping strategies in adulthood. Adult Mode (HAM) aims to meet the needs of the Vulnerable Child Mode (VCM) in
a more adaptive coping way. The VCM needs validation and reassurance from
Schema Mode Therapy helps you the HAM that the MCM is not necessary.
to identify which coping modes
you may be using to help you see The HAM needs to help you manage the aggressive impulses in ways that don't
the problems they are causing. jeopardise the connection. The HAM also needs to set limits on behaviours so
Once you can identify your that the anger doesn't cause harm to other people. Therefore, when anger
Maladaptive Coping Modes, you starts to rise, the HAM need to help you to stop, walk away and ask for some
can then choose whether to stick space to calm down. Then the HAM can help you to talk about what triggered
with that childhood coping mode the anger once it has settled.
or enact a different choice.
Sometimes it is appropriate to Other people can help you by giving you space when you ask for it, without
use fight/flight or freeze, but breaking the connection. It can sound like "I can see you are pretty angry. I'm
perhaps not as often as you have going to hang up now and call you back in an hour to make sure you are safe."
been. Instead, we offer a fourth
option: HEALTHY ADULT.
Therefore, the Maladaptive Coping
Modes (MCM) need to get benched. Thoughts Behaviours Schemas
They can sit on the sidelines and "Leave me alone" Threats Mistrust/ Abuse
wait to be called in, rather than
feeling like they are running the "I don't like people Intimidation Abandonment
show. getting close" Aggression Social Isolation
"Hurt or be hurt" Stonewalling Entitlement

THEPSYCHCOLLECTIVE.COM ANGRY PROTECTOR MODE


_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Overcoming your Angry Protector Mode
Mode Awareness
To learn how to skilfully manage your MCM, you must first become aware of when you have flipped
into that mode. The aim is to have more control over your ability to dial this mode down when it isn't
needed. This may be challenging if you have been doing it for a long time so you don't notice when it
is happening.

What are some common triggers for this mode? (Situations, tasks, people)
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
What do you feel when you’re in this mode? (Angry, furious, rage)
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
What difficulties do you experience when you’re in this mode? (Push everyone away)
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________

Mode Management
Develop a plan about how you will use your Healthy Adult to reduce your Angry Protector.
 
What are your goals for managing this mode? (To be less aggressive)
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
What are your needs in this mode? (To have space without losing connection)
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
What will you do to meet these needs for yourself? (Ask for space and then come back later to talk)
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
What will you do if you get overwhelmed by the feelings? (STOP, TIPP, graceful exit)
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
What will you say to yourself when you’re in this mode to soothe it? (I can control my aggression)
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________

You may find this hard because it is unfamiliar, or you may notice other modes getting in the way,
like your Demanding Parent Mode or a different MCM jumping in. Keep trying and remember that you
are learning new strategies to try things that you would usually avoid. Perseverance is key!

Check out our website for more resources, handouts and videos
Scan the QR code for the Youtube clip for this handout

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