The Blue Book: At Your Service

The blue book was an open secret. Everybody knows it exists but nobody talks about
it. Inside the book were pictures of beautiful, young women from different
universities and colleges. They were the student prostitutes. Being beautiful and
young made them more special and desirable. They had higher status and charge more
than the regular escorts.

After days of battling with myself, I gave in and decided that this was the right
way to find a woman. I never thought I would even consider doing this, pay for sex.
I didn't need to. I could get laid for free if I wanted to. The problem was the
girls I'd hooked up with always try to put their hooks in me. I was so sick and
tired of them expecting more than what I could give them. Hindi pa ako handa sa
seryosong relasyon at iyon ang hindi nila maintindihan. I was a 20 year old man
with a very active libido. I needed sex. Nothing more, nothing less. Just plain,
urgent body pounding against body sex where nobody gets attached. Sex with someone
that doesn't expect anything in return. Except money because that was all I could
afford to give.

I was in an empty classroom with a guy holding the blue book. Their pimp, I guess.
Dito namin napag-usapan na magkita pagkatapos ng third period. Tumakas lang ako sa
mga barkada ko dahil ayokong malaman nila ang gagawin ko. They would just make fun
of me. Inabot ng lalaki ang libro sa akin ang libro at kinuha ko yun. I opened the
book and started flipping the pages, looking at pictures after pictures of pretty
babes. Talagang magaganda ang mga babaeng nandun pero wala akong mapili sa kanila.
None of them interested me enough. All generic beauties. I sighed and flipped
through another page and then I came across a picture that caught my attention. The
girl in the picture had a delicate face that looked like it was carved by angels.
She looked pure and wholesome, unlike the others who looked superficial and
worldly. Her eyes were big and brown and innocent with thick lashes. Her black hair
was swept into a lazy low ponytail. Her sweet smile was infectious and there was
just something about her...

Without a second thought, I picked her. She was perfect.

Nakaramdam ako ng awa at panghihinayang. What made her do this? How many clients
had she slept with? I shook the questions out of my head. What do I care? Hindi ko
na dapat pinakikialaman ang mga bagay na iyon. It shouldn't matter as long as she's
clean. Of course, i was going to have her checked first before we do anything.

Sandali kaming nag-usap bago ako umalis. Sabi niya tatawagan niya na lang ako kapag
nakausap niya na ang babae. As I was walking, I couldn't get my mind off the girl
in the picture. She was just so beautiful. I wanted to see her, I wanted to know if
she was as beautiful as she was in the picture. I wanted to know how she would
sound like. I wanted to know how her skin would feel against mine.

"Wayne!"

Lumingon ako sa tumawag ng pangalan ko. Si Axel ang tumawag sa akin at lumapit ang
apat papunta sa kinatatayuan ko.

"Saan ka galing?" Tanong naman ni Seth. "Kanina ka pa namin hinahanap. Bigla ka na

lang nawala."

"Sa library." I lied, not wanting them to know anything about it. A guy who pays
for sex was automatically a loser.

"Ikaw? Pupunta sa library? Lokohin mo lelang mo." Sabi naman ni Tristan.

"Tara na! May klase pa tayo." I said, changing the topic.

"Late na tayo ng five minutes." Nick said, looking at his wrist watch. The four of
them exchanged looks and I knew exactly where this was going.

"Then let's just skip class." Axel finally said what all of us wanted to hear.

And skip class we did.

Chapter One
Tanya's POV

"Tanya!" Napakagat ako sa pang-ibabang labi ko ng marinig ang boses ni aling Moning
at ang malalakas na katok niya sa pinto. Limang buwan na akong hindi nakakapagbayad
ng upa dito sa apartment. Gipit na gipit kasi kami sa pera nitong mga nakaraang
buwan. Hindi sapat ang sinusweldo ko sa pagtatrabaho sa isang fast food restaurant
para sa lahat ng bayarin sa bahay, sa eskwelahan at isama pa ang gamot ni nanay.
Halos kalahati kasi ng gastusin sa pagpapagamot niya napupunta pero wala akong
pakialam kahit mapunta pa doon ang buong sweldo ko, ang mahalaga gumaling siya.

Dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa pinto at binuksan iyon. Bumungad sa akin ang

nakasimangot na mukha ni aling Moning.

"Ano? Kailan niyo balak magbayad? Sapat na siguro ang limang buwan na panugit na
ibinigay ko sa inyo." Nakataas ang kilay at nakapamewang na sabi niya.

"Aling Moning, pasensya na po talaga. Nagkasakit kasi si nanay, kinailangan namin

yung pera para sa pagpapagamot sa kanya." Nahihiyang sabi ko.

"Naku naman, Tanya! Naiintindihan ko na may sakit ang nanay mo pero hindi ito
charity. Dito kami kumukuha ng ikinabubuhay namin."

"May konti naman po akong perang naitabi pangbayad sa inyo." Sabi ko bago ako
dumukot sa bulsa ko at kinuha ang wallet ko. Inabot ko sa kanya ang lahat ng
natitirang perang meron ako.

"Ito lang?" Inis na sabi niya nang matapos bilangin iyon. "Isang buwang renta niyo
lang ito! Limang buwan na kayong hindi nagbabayad at ito lang ang ibibigay mo sa
akin?"

"Huwag po kayong mag-alala, gagawa po ako ng paraan para mabayaran ko lahat ng

utang namin. Bigyan niyo lang po sana kami ng konting panahon." Pakiusap ko.

"Sige, dahil naaawa ako sa inyo bibigyan kita ng dalawang linggo. Kapag hindi ka pa
rin nakapagbayad pasensyahan na lang tayo." Sabi niya. Tumango ako at nagpasalamat
sa kanya bago siya umalis. Wala na akong nagawa kung hindi ang mapabuntong-hininga
ng maisara ko ang pinto. Kailangan ko na talaga ng pera. Hindi na ako pwedeng
umatras sa gagawin ko. Oo, imoral ang gagawin kong iyon pero ano pa bang gagawin ko
sa moralidad ko kung kumakalam na ang sikmura naming mag-ina at natutulog na kami
sa kalye?

"Sino iyon?" Tanong ni nanay nang lumabas ito galing sa kwarto niya.

"Si aling Moning po, nay." Sabi ko.

"Ano'ng sabi?"

"Naniningil na naman ng renta pero nakapagbayad naman ako ng isang buwan." Sabi ko
habang inilalabas ang mga gamot niya. Iilang tableta na lang ang natitira doon.
Hindi na nga siguro ito aabot ng isang linggo. Saan na ako kukuha ng pera pangbili
ng gamot? Ni isang daan piso nga wala ako ngayon, malayo pa ang araw ng sweldo ko.
Nag-aalala na ako pero hindi ko iyon pinahalata sa kanya. "Nay, inumin niyo na po
itong gamot niyo."

"Tanya..." Sandali niya akong tinitigan bago siyang nagsalita ulit. "Alam kong
nahihirapan ka na, anak. Pasensya ka na ha. Nagiging pabigat pa ako sa'yo."

"Nay, ano ba... hindi ka pabigat sa akin. Huwag mong isipin iyon." Pinilit kong
ngumiti. Hindi na talaga ako pwedeng umatras. Kailangan ko ng gawin iyon. Para kay
nanay. Kahapon pa ako tinetext ng isa sa mga taga-hawak ng 'blue book' kung
tawagin. Nalaman ko lang iyon sa isa sa mga kaibigan ko. Doon siya nakahanap ng
sugar daddy na nagbabayad ngayon sa tuition fee niya at kailan lang binili pa siya
nito ng bagong kotse. Dahil sa matinding pangangailangan sa pera kaya naisipan ko
na rin magpalagay sa blue book na iyon. Hindi lang ito ang unang beses na
nakatanggap ako ng text na may gustong mag-'labas' sa akin pero palagi akong
tumatanggi dahil wala akong lakas ng loob. Ngayon, pikit mata kong gagawin ito.
Kailangan na talaga namin ng pera. Kailangan na ng gamot ni nanay. Kailangan eh.

"Sasha..." Kumatok ako sa pinto ng kapit-bahay namin. Pagkaraan ng ilang katok ay

pinagbuksan niya ako. Nagulat ako ng makita ko siya dahil may suot siyang face mask
at hair curler sa buhok. Natawa lang siya sa reaksyon ko.

"O, Tanya, halika pasok ka." Aya niya at niluwagan ang bukas ng pinto. Sumunod ako
sa kanya sa loob at pinaupo niya ako sa sofa niya, katabi ni Jomar o mas kilala
bilang Jody, na abala sa pagmamanicure ng kuko niya.

"Napadalaw ka yata. Namiss mo ko?" Natatawang tanong ni Sasha.

"Manghihiram lang sana ako ng damit sa'yo. May lakad kasi ako mamayang gabi. Kung
okay lang sa'yo." Kahit nahihiya ako, nilakasan ko na ang loob ko. Wala naman kasi
akong magagandang damit. Ang mga damit ko lang, mga maong na pantalon at simpleng
t-shirt. Kailangan ko naman magmukhang presintable para mamaya. Bumalik na naman
ang kaba ko ng maaalala ko iyon.

"Aba! May date ka?" Sabi ni Jody.

"Hindi... job interview." Sagot ko. Hindi naman ako nagsinungaling. Trabaho lang
naman talaga ang gagawin ko ngayong gabi.

"Alam mo Tanya, sayang ka eh, maganda ka sana. Pwede mong pagkakitaan yan."
Umiiling na sabi ni Sasha. "Ayaw mo ba talagang sumama sa akin sa Japan? Mas malaki
kikitain mo doon kesa sa kung anu-anong trabahong pinapasok mo dito."

"Wala maiiwan dito kay nanay." Matagal na akong inaaya ni Sasha na magtrabaho sa
Japan at ilang beses ko na pinag-isipan iyan pero hindi ko kayang iwan mag-isa dito
si nanay. Kaming dalawa na nga lang, iiwan ko pa siya.

"Bahala ka." Kibit balikat na sabi ni Sasha. Pagkatapos namin mag-usap sandali
pinahiram niya na ako ng damit niya. Isang peach tube dress na maikli at hapit sa
katawan.
Wayne's POV

I had been sitting here for about 15 minutes waiting when I saw her walk through
the restaurant's front entrance. I was quickly taken away. Kahit sa malayuan,
kitang-kita ang kagandahan niya. Huminto siya sa harap ng reception desk at sandali
siyang nakipag-usap sa babae na nakatayo doon.

I watched as she followed behind the receptionist, timidly walking with her head
hung low. I didn't understand why she had to hide her beautiful face. She didn't
have that air of arrogance that usually accompanied good looks. Huminto ang
receptionist sa harap ng mesa kung saan ako nakaupo. She lifted her head and our
eyes met. I was wrong about what I said about her being beautiful. She was more
than that. I had never felt a strong immediate attraction before.

"Hi." I said, getting on my feet.

"Hi." She said in a soft voice.

I pulled a chair for her and she murmured a thank you before I sat back across from
her. Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong pagmasdan siya. Maganda na siya sa picture
na nakita ko sa blue book pero hindi ko akalain na ganito siya kaganda sa personal.
I couldn't help but admire her beauty. There was just something enchanting about
her. Maybe because she wasn't cookie-cutter beautiful. She looked untainted, as
chaste as an angel. And in the candle light, she looked almost ethereal.

I cleared my throat before speaking. "My name's Wayne and you're Tanya, right?"

She nodded her head.

"Is Tanya your real name?" She could be using a 'screen' name.

She answered again with a nod.

"Hindi ka ba magsasalita?"
"Wala naman akong maisip na sasabihin." She said. Bago pa ako makapagsalita ulit,
dumating ang waiter para kunin ang order namin. Even the waiter couldn't help but
stare at her beautiful face. Nang makaalis ang waiter binalik ko ulit ang atensyon
ko sa kanya.

"You have to be honest with me about everything, Tanya. I don't want your service
for just a night. Matagal tayong magsasama." Sabi ko.

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?" Kunot ang noong tanong niya.

"I want a long-term deal." I answered. "Two months is probably the time limit. At
sa loob ng dalawang buwan na iyon, ayokong tumanggap ka ng ibang kliyente. I'd pay
you double what you normally charge. Are you okay with that, Tanya?"

She paused as if she was thinking.

"Kung hindi okay sa'yo, walang problema sa akin. Pwede naman akong humanap ng ibang
papayag sa set-up na gusto ko. Let's not waste time and just call it a night." I
said in a casual tone. The truth is, it wasn't okay with me. I wanted her. Only
her. I didn't want to find another woman. I was hoping she'd agree to what I want.

"P-pumapayag na ako." She said, biting her lower lip.

"Are you sure?" Tanong ko.

"Oo." She nodded her head.

"Okay, then." I tried so hard not to smile. Damn! I felt like I won the lottery.
"Have you had any sex within the last week?"

She lowered her eyes to her plate, I could tell that Tanya got uncomfortable with
my question. "No." She forced out from her lips.

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen."

Thank god she wasn't a minor. If she were, I'd leave right away without hesitation.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Wala akong boyfriend."

"Good, because I don't want you to have sex with anyone sa loob ng dalawang buwang
iyon. Nagkakaintindihan ba tayo?"

"Oo."

"Now, I want you to do something for me." I said as I looked right into her eyes.
"Take off your underwear and give it to me." She was wearing a dress kaya hindi
siya mahihirapan gawin iyon. Nobody would see. Bukod sa nasa sulok ang pwesto
namin, madilim pa. No one else was around and no one was really paying any
attention to us.

"A-ano?" Her face suddenly paled.

"You heard me." I wanted someone who would do whatever I ask. Someone with no
inhibition. I was going to pay for her service so I expect my money's worth.

"Ngayon na? Dito?" She looked around with anxious on her face.

"Yes."

She shook her head. "Hindi ko kayang gawin iyon."

"Okay." I shrugged my shoulders. "I think we're done here. Goodnight, Tanya."
Kumuha ako ng pera mula sa bulsa ko at inilapag iyon sa mesa. Then I stood up and
just as I was about to walk, she grabbed me by the wrist.

"W-wayne..." She looked up at me. There was this insane look of desperation in her
eyes that I could almost feel it. "Gagawin ko na."

Bumalik ako sa kinauupuan ko at tinitigan siya. I waited for her to do something.

She looked around one last time, checking to see if anyone was looking at us. I
watched as she reached up underneath her dress and slid her underwear down her
long, smooth legs. Suddenly the temperature in the room seemed to heat up a few
degrees. She handed her white panties to me and I put it in my pocket.

Bumalik ang mga mata ko sa mukha niya. She looked like she was about to cry, Tanya
quickly looked away when she was me looking at her.

"We're not going to have sex tonight. Kailangan mo muna magpatingin sa doktor. I'll
set you up your appointments." I said. "And I want you on a birth control shot,
understood?"

She nodded her head, avoiding eye contact. Even though we didn't have sex, I paid
her. She was quiet the whole time. Halos wala siyang kibo hanggang sa maghiwalay na
kami. She gave me her number and I gave mine to her before she left.

Sinundot ako ng kunsensya ko ng makaalis na siya. She was a human being for fuck's
sake. Not just a beautiful piece of meat I could use for my pleasure. I shook my
conscience away, I didn't want to dwell on it. I just wanted her so badly.

Chapter Two
Tanya's POV

"Nay..." Napayakap na lang ako kay nanay ng makarating ako sa bahay. Sa kanya lang
ako kumukuha ng lakas. Gusto kong umiyak pero pinigilan ko ang mga luha ko. Ayokong
pag-alalahanin siya. Pakiramdam ko ang baba ko pagkatapos ng ipinagawa ni Wayne sa
akin kanina sa restaurant. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na nagawa
ko iyon. Para na akong nahubaran ng dignidad. Ngayon pa lang gusto ko ng umatras,
hindi pa nga niya ako nahahawakan hindi ko na masikmura ang pinagawa niya sa akin.
Kakayanin ko ba itong pinasok ko?

"Anak, ano bang nangyari sa'yo?" May bahid ng pag-aalala sa boses niya.
Humiwalay ako sa pagkakayakap sa kanya at pilit na ngumiti. Para kay nanay
kakayanin ko. Kailangan kong kayanin. Pikit-mata kong gagawin ito alang-alang sa
kanya.

"Wala po." Sagot ko.

"Bakit ginabi ka naman yata ng uwi ngayon?"

"B-birthday po kasi ng kaklase ko. Sumama ako sa kanila." Hindi ako sanay na
magsinungaling sa kanya kaya hindi ako makatingin ng diretso sa mga mata niya
habang sinasabi ko iyon.

"Mabuti naman at lumalabas-labas ka din kasama ang mga kaibigan mo." Ngumiti siya
at hinawi ang ilang hibla ng buhok sa mukha ko. "Kumain ka na ba?"

"Tapos na po." Sagot ko.

Nagpaalam na ako at dumiretso sa kwarto. Mahina kong pinakawalan ang luhang kanina
ko pang pinipigil. Kahit kailan hindi ko naranasan ang ganong klaseng pangbabastos
pero wala akong magagawa. Kailangan kong sundin ang kahit anong gusto niya dahil
kailangan ko ng pera niya. Kailangan kong tanggapin na ngayon ay isa na akong
bayarang babae. Na hindi na lang sa akin ang katawan kong ito. Simulan ng pumayag
ako sa kasunduan at tanggapin ko ang perang ibinayad niya sa akin I became his. My
body was already his to play with.

Hindi na rin dapat ako umasa na rerespetuhin at igagalang niya ako. Isa lang akong
puta para sa kanya at ang mga babaeng katulad ko hindi nirerespeto. Isang laruan
lang na pwede niyang pasunurin at gawin ang kahit anong gusto niya. I was just a
playtoy to him. Pilit kong tinanggal sa isip ko ang mga bagay na iyon. Ayoko munang
isipin iyon. At least, ngayon meron na akong naiuwing pera. Bukas na bukas bibili
ako ng gamot ni nanay at ang matira ipangbabayad namin sa kulang sa renta ng
apartment para kahit paano mabawasan man lang. Sa totoo lang, nagulat ako sa halaga
na ibinigay niya sa akin. Mas malaking halaga pa iyon kaysa sa isang buwang sweldo
ko sa pagiging fastfood crew. Ilang beses lang ako magpagamit sa kanya makakabayad
na ako sa mga utang namin at makakabayad na rin ako ng tuition lalo na ngayo't
malapit na ang exam. Hindi ko pa magawang masabi kay nanay pero nawala na ako sa
scholarship ngayong semester. Hindi ko na maintain ang grades ko gawa na rin siguro
sa mga problema namin. Alam ko naman na hindi ako pahihintuin ni nanay sa pag-
aaral kapag sinabi ko sa kanya iyon. Pipilitin niya pa rin makapag-aral ako at baka
pumasok na naman siya sa pagkakatulong kahit na may sakit na siya. Matigas din ang
ulo nun, kanino pa ba ako magmamana.
Pagkatapos kong magpalit ng pantulog, humiga ako sa kama at ipinikit ang mga mata
ko. Muling bumalik sa isip ko si Wayne. Hindi ko magawang kalimutan ang mga mata
niya at kung paano siya tumitig sa akin kanina. Sa tuwing tititigan niya ako sa
mata para akong matutunaw sa kinauupuan ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kailangan niya
pang kumuha ng bayarang babae. Sa itsura niyang yun kayang-kaya niya kumuha ng
babae ng hindi kailangan magbayad at nakita ko rin kung paano siya tignan ng mga
babae sa restaurant. Pati nga ang receptionist na naghatid sa akin sa kanya hindi
parang tingin ng tingin sa kanya. Kung nagkita lang kami sa ibang paraan malamang
isa rin ako sa mga babaeng iyon.

Axel's POV

I couldn't stop thinking about Tanya since we met last night. I couldn't push her
out of my mind even if I tried. I wanted to have her under me, under my control,
moaning and crying out my name in painful pleasure. Her panties helped me while I
was fantasizing about her last night but it made me want her even more. Damn! I
needed the real thing so bad. I felt like a drug addict without his fix.

"Dude, it's your turn." Sabi ni Nick sa akin. I snapped out of my thought and
looked at him. He was handing me the cue. Nasa hangout namin kami ngayon pagkatapos
ng huling klase namin. The four of them were playing billiards while I sat alone on
the table.

"Kayo na lang. I'm not in the mood to play." Sabi ko.

"Is something bothering you?" Tanong ni Axel sa akin habang tumitira. "Kanina ka pa
walang imik."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing. I'm just not in the mood to play."

I could never tell them about Tanya. I didn't want them to think that I was so
desperate for a lay that I resorted to prostitutes. It made me want to cringe when
I think of Tanya as a prostitute. She doesn't look like one. She looked so innocent
it was hard to believe. She was like a shy virgin last night and man, if she was
just acting she did a really good damn job at it.

Biglang tumunog ang phone ko at sinagot ko iyon. It was a call from a clinic I
contacted earlier. I scheduled an appointment for Tanya at tinawag nila ako para sa
appointment niya ngayon. We had to get this done as soon as possible. I have to
have her. Tinawagan ko agad si Tanya pagkatapos kong makausap ang babae sa clinic.
"Hello, Tanya?"

"W-wayne!" She sounded surprised.

"Can we meet?" I asked.

"Kailan?"

"Now."

"H-ha? Nasa school kasi ako."

"Where are you?" I said, impatiently.

Sinabi niya sa akin kung saan siya eskwelahan niya.

"I'll be there in a few, okay?" I said. Bago pa siya nakasagot ay ibinaba ko na ang
phone. Tumayo ako mula sa table at nagpaalam sa apat.

"Guys, I need to go." Nagmamadaling sabi ko.

"Saan ka pupunta?" Tanong ni Tristan.

"He's going to bang a chick. Told you he's just sexually frustrated." Seth
chuckled. Hindi ko na pinansin ang mga ito at umalis na ako. I got in my car and
drove to Tanya's school. Hininto ko ang kotse ko sa harap ng eskwelahan niya. It
was a nice, decent university. Seeing where she go to school made her more human to
me, more of a real person with a real personality and life. I could easily imagine
her sitting in one of the classrooms inside it. She was somebody's daughter,
sister, aunt and niece.

I took a deep breath and tried to push the thought away. I shouldn't care for the
parallel. She came to me willingly. Walang nagpilit sa kanya na lumapit sa akin at
pasukin itong trabaho na ito. Why should I care about that?
Tatawagan ko na dapat siya para sabihing nandito na ako ng makita ko siyang
naglalakad... kasama ang isang lalaki. She looked around anxiously and took the
book the guy was carrying. Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa steering wheel. Who the fuck
was that guy?

Agad akong bumaba sa kotse at lumapit sa kanila. Tanya's face instantly paled when
she saw me.

"Hey." I said in a monotone.

She swallowed and turned to the guy standing next to her. "Sige, Luis, nandito na
ang... ang kaibigan ko. Salamat ah."

The guy looked at me. Nagsukatan kami ng tingin bago niya ibinalik ang atensyon kay
Tanya. "Sige, Tanya. Kita na lang tayo bukas."

Umalis na ang lalaki at tahimik kong tinitigan si Tanya. She was wearing a school
uniform and I had never seen someone so sexy in it. I had never had a schoolgirl
fantasy, not until now. How I'd want to bang her in that uniform.

Nahihiyang nagbaba siya ng tingin ng mapansin niyang nakatinin ako sa kanya. I

turned and headed back to my car. Sumunod naman siya sa akin. She sat on the
passener's side while I went to the driver's seat.

"What did I tell you about seeing other guys?" I said in a dark voice as we sat in
the car.

"Kaibigan ko lang siya. Tinulungan niya lang akong buhatin ang ibang mga libro ko."
Paliwanag niya.

"Iyan din ang sinabi mo sa kanya. That I was just your friend." Naningkit ang mga
matang tinignan ko siya.

"Ano'ng gusto mong sabihin ko? Na... na isa akong bayarang babae at binabayaran mo
ako para sa serbisyo ko." She said, hardly making eye contact with me.
Well, it did make sense. I relaxed, leaned back to my seat and started the car.

Katahimikan.

"We're going to the doctor." I said, breaking the silence. "Kailangan mong magpa-
test at magpa-shot."

I took a quick look at her and she silently nodded her head. Wala siyang imik
hanggang sa makarating kami sa clinic. Hinintay ko siya sa receiving area habang
tinitignan siya ng doktor. Matapos ang mahigit isang oras at makaraan ang ilang
test ay pinayagan na ako ng doktor na makapasok para makausap ko siya.

She explained to me all the test they did to Tanya. She had her blood work done and
a well woman examination. All we had to do was wait for the result which would take
less than forty eight hours. I would have to wait two more days before I get to
shag her. Two days is a long time!

"Now, we just have to give her the Depo Provera shot and then we're done." Sabi ng
doktor.

Tanya looked at me with those innocent eyes of hers. She looked so uncomfortable
like there was nothing she wanted more than to get out of here.

The nurse came to give her the shot. I took Tanya's hand and held it to try to
comfort her.

"First time niyo po, ma'am?" Nakangiting tanong ng nurse.

She just nodded her head. The nurse gave her a shot and explained to us that it
would take about a day for it to take effect.

"Gagawin na ba natin?" She asked as she was sitting on the passenger's seat,
fiddling with her fingers on her lap.
"I'll give you time to rest." Sagot ko sa kanya. Besides we need to wait for the
test results. Better safe than sorry. Nagpilit akong ihatid siya sa kanila pero
hindi siya pumayag. I understood that she wanted to keep her personal life private.
Pinakiusapan niya akong ibaba ko siya sa sakayan ng jeep. She got out of my car and
all I could do was watch her. Damn hell! I'm going to be needing her panties again
tonight.

Chapter Three
Tanya's POV

"Sino yung lalaking sumunod sayo kahapon?" Bungad na tanong sa akin ni Luis
pagkaupo ko pa lang sa desk ko sa tabi niya. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kanya.
Hangga't maaari ayoko munang isipin si Wayne at ang sitwasyon ko. I tried
distracting myself from thinking about it. At lalong ayokong pag-usapan iyon.
Ayokong hayaang maapektuhan nun ang personal na buhay ko. Trabaho lang ang gagawin
kong iyon at kapag nakaluwag-luwag na kami iiwan ko na ang trabahong iyon at
ibabaon sa limot. Ipinangako ko sa sarili ko na pagtapos nun hinding-hindi ko na
ulit iyon gagawin. Ngayon lang...

"Sinabi ko na sa'yo kaibigan ko siya." Ibinuklat ko ang libro ko at kunwaring

nagbasa.

"Kailan ka pa nagkaron ng kaibigang may magandang kotse? Saan mo siya nakilala?"

Walang bakas na emosyon ang boses ni Luis.

"Porket ba mahirap ako hindi na ako pwedeng magkaron ng kaibigang may kotse?"
Pabirong sabi ko.

"Hindi yan ang ibig kong sabihin, Tanya!" Seryoso ang mukhang sabi niya.

"Alam mo, huwag na nga nating pag-usapan yun." Bumuntong-hininga ako.

"Isang taon na akong nanliligaw sa'yo..." Mahina pero may diin na sabi niya.

"Luis, una pa lang sinabi ko na sa'yo na walang patutunguhan yang panliligaw mo sa

akin. Wala pa akong balak mag-boyfriend at isa pa parang kapatid na ang turing ko
sa'yo. Mas maganda kung maging magkaibigan na lang tayo."

"Ayaw mong magboyfriend pero sumasama ka agad sa lalaking may magarang kotse?
Kailangan ko pa bang bumili ng kotse para lang sagutin mo na ako?" Sarkastikong
sabi nito bago umiling-iling.
"Mali ang iniisip mo. Nakilala ko lang si Wayne dahil sa kaibigan ko sa trabaho.
Tinutulungan niya ako na... na makakuha ulit ng scholarship." Kinailangan kong
magsinungaling para hindi na magsuspetsa pa si Luis at matapos na ang usapan na
ito.

"Yun lang ba talaga ang dahilan kung bakit sumama ka sa kanya?" Tanong nito.

Pilit akong ngumiti at tumango. Nakilala ko si Luis noong freshman pa lang ako
dahil naging magkaklase kami sa isang subject mula noon naging magkaibigan na kami.
Nagulat na lang ako isang araw ng sabihin niya sa akin na gusto niya ako at gusto
niyang ligawan ako. Hindi ako pumayag dahil wala naman akong nararamdaman para sa
kanya at isa pa marami akong mas dapat iprioritize kaysa sa pagboboyfriend pero
sabi niya handa siyang hintayin ako. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin siya tumitigil sa
panliligaw niya kahit ilang beses ko na siyang sinasabihan na wala naman mangyayari
sa panliligaw niya.

Wayne's POV

It was Seth's birthday today and the guys were already talking about how they would
celebrate it later. If it was any other day I would be as excited as them. I mean,
who wouldn't? Free unlimited booze and hot chicks... our own version of heaven. But
right now, I just don't feel it. I wanted to fuck. And I knew not any girl would
do. I just wanted Tanya. It was like craving for a food you've never had but you'd
know at once, if you could just taste it you'd finally be satisfied.

We were hanging out at Nick's apartment.

"I'm not going..." Sabi ni Tristan.

"What do you mean you're not going? Everybody's going to my party, you can't not
go! It would be the best party you'll ever have in your whole entire sorry life."
Sabi naman ni Seth.

"I need to make a living. Malapit na ang exam, kailangan ng kumayod." He grinned
sheepishly. We all knew what he does for a living. He was a male escort. Kami lang
magbabarkada ang nakakaalam ng sikreto niya and we don't give a fuck what he does
for a living, we ourselves were no saints. Sinusubukan pa nga namin siyang tulungan
pero siya mismo ang ayaw tumanggap ng tulong. He said he didn't want any
'donations' from us 'rich kids'. Ayaw niya raw maramdaman na parang nanlilimos pa
rin siya hanggang ngayon so we just let him be.

"Dude, kung kailangan mo ng pera pwede ka naman umutang sa akin." Sabi ni Axel.

"What the hell would I pay you? My dick?" Natatawang sagot ni Tristan.

"You can go shove it up your ass..." Axel said with a laugh. "Just pay me whenever
you can."

"Nah. Kaya ko naman kumita ng sarili kong pera. Besides, I love my job. I'm
shagging MILFs here. Every young guy's fantasy and I get paid for it. This is the
life." Tristan chuckled. Bigla kong naisip ulit si Tanya. Had she done it would old
men? More experienced men? Did she enjoyed it too? Had she ever come with those men
she had slept with? Damn it! Thinking of that ruined my mood.

"Have you ever done it with a guy?" Nick curiously asked.

"No, Nick, I will not do it with you." Tristan said with a straight face. Natawa
kaming lahat including Nick.

"Ulol!" Naiiling na sabi ni Nick.

"Seriously, no. I've never done it with a guy. Never had and never will. It's just
not my thing." Sagot niya. Sandali pa kaming nagkuwentuhan bago ako nagpaalam sa
kanila. I told them I'd just meet them at the club.

Habang nagda-drive ako may ideyang pumasok sa isip ko. Why don't I just bring Tanya
with me to the party?

I paused.

Why couldn't I stop thinking of her? My libido wanted her that much... At nasaan na
ba napunta ang utak ko? Why would I bring a prostitute with me at my friend's
party? Stupid idiot.
I didn't know where my brain went when I reached for the phone and called her.

"Nasaan ka?" Tanong ko pagsagot niya ng phone.

"Papunta pa lang sa trabaho. Bakit?" She asked in her usual lovely voice. I could
fucking get off of just hearing her voice.

"Trabaho?" Tumaas ang boses ko. What the hell? Was she still whoring herself to
other men?

"Oo, trabaho. Nagtatrabaho ako sa fast food restaurant." She said, probably sensing
what I was thinking. I felt relieved when I heard her say that. Bukod pala sa
trabaho niyang ito may 'normal' na trabaho pala siya.

"Not tonight, Tanya. Tonight you need to work for me." I said.

She stayed quiet for a couple of seconds.

"Tanya?"

"Hindi ako pwede ngayon. Hindi pa ako nakakapagpaalam sa boss ko."

"You can't say no. I need someone who's always available for me. Mamili ka yang
trabaho mo o ang trabaho mo sakin?" I said. With the money I give her everytime we
see each other, she wouldn't need to work at a fastfood restaurant that pays her
minimum wage anymore.

"Okay, magkita tayo." She said with resignation in her voice. We decided to meet at
a coffee shop. Pagpasok ko pa lang sa coffee shop siya na ang nakita ko. She was
sitting on one of the stool next to the window, looking outside. Napakaamo talaga
ng mukha niya. I wouldn't believe she was a prostitute if I didn't know. She was
wearing a simple red tee, a pair of washed out jeans and old sneakers. Pero kahit
ganon pa man ang ayos niya hindi yun nakabawas sa kagandahan niya. She was still a
head turner even in that outfit.

"Hey."
She woke up from her trance and looked at me. Pilit siyang ngumiti pero halatang
naiilang siya. She looked really nervous.

"Kumain ka na ba? Do you want to have coffee first?"

Umiling siya. I let out a sigh. It was so hard to get a word out of her, she always
seemed to have a wall built around herself. And for some reason, I wanted to get
inside of that wall. Everything about her seemed to rattle my core. Yes, she was
beautiful but so were many other women. I figured it had to be the mystery
surrounding her.

"Okay then, let's go." Aya ko sa kanya. Sumunod siya sa akin pabalik ng kotse at
nagpunta kami sa isang high-end shopping center. She looked surprised when I
brought her there.

"Ano'ng ginagawa natin dito?" Tanong niya habang naglalakad kami papasok sa isang
botique.

"Bibili tayo ng damit na susuotin mo mamaya. You can't go to the party looking like
that." Tinignan ko siya mula ulo hanggang paa. She already looked beautiful in
casual clothing paano pa kaya kung bihisan siya.

"Party?" Kumunot ang noo niya.

"We're going to my friend's party." I said.

Tahimik lang siyang tumanga at pumasok na kami sa boutique. We started looking

around for clothes but she didn't seemed interested or pleased.

"Hindi mo ba gusto ang mga damit dito?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

"Hindi naman sa ganu n pero ang mamahal ng mga damit dito." Sabi niya.

"Don't worry about it. Ako ang magbabayad ng kahit anong piliin mo."
"Pero, Wayne..."

"I said don't worry about it. Ako ang masusunod dito. Kung gusto kitang ibili ng
damit ibibili kita at hindi ka pwedeng tumanggi. You can't say no to me, Tanya, do
you understand?" I asked.

She just nodded her head docilely. Nagsimula siyang tumingin ng mga damit at agad
naman siyang nakapili. She chose a simple off-white dress that flattered her body
and made her look like an angel... a very sexy angel. I couldn't keep my eyes off
her when I saw her walked out of the fitting room in that white dress. I could
picture myself touching those curves and a few other things I would like to do to
her. I shook the unwanted thoughts away not wanting to get an unwanted hard on.

We bought the dress and a pair of shoes to pair the dress with.

"Wayne..." Her voice was a little shaky. We were back in the car and I was about to
start it when he called my name. She shifted her body towards me.

Tumingin ako sa kanya.

"H-hindi mo naman ako ipahihiram sa mga kaibigan mo, hindi ba? I won't get passed
around, right?" She anxiously asked.

"What?" My brows furrowed.

"Narinig ko kasi... may kakilala akong-"

"Walang ibang lalaking makakahawak sa'yo as long as you're working for me." I said
in a firm voice. I didn't even want to think about her being touched by other men.

She eased back to her seat, not speaking another word.

The rooftop lounge where Seth's party was were already packed when we got there.
The lounge was lit with dim blue lights. From here, you could see the spectacular
view of the whole city shining from the lights in the dark.
It didn't take long for us to find the boys. They were sitting at the lounge with a
bunch of different booze on the table.

"Ba't ngayon ka lang?" Tanong ni Seth. Before I could answer, they noticed Tanya
who was awkwardly standing beside me. "And who's that pretty lady you're with,"

"This is Tanya, my friend." My voice was even.

"Well, that explains it." Nick said. "Hi, Tanya. I'm Nick."

She shyly smiled at Nick.

"And I'm Seth." Pagpapakilala ni Seth.

"Axel here." He lifted a glass of jagerbomb and downed it. I guided her to a vacant
seat and sat next to her.

"Bakit ngayon ka lang namin nakita? How long have you two known each other?" Tanong
ni Axel kay Tanya.

"Kakikilala lang namin three days ago." Sagot ni Tanya.

"Three days ago and he already introduced you to us." Nick grinned sheepishly.

"She must be really good." Seth smiled meaningfully. I threw them all a glare and
cleared my throat. They're my friends but sometimes they're just so annoying that I
want to wring their fucking necks.

"Hey, baby, want a drink?" Tanong ni Axel.

"She has a name and it's not baby." I said, annoyed.

"Fine, Tanya." Axel rolled his eyes.

"No, thanks." Tanggi ni Tanya. I accepted a glass of jagerbomb that Axel offered
instead. We had our usual conversation but that was quickly cut out when Margaux,
my psycho ex-girlfriend came up to us. She was a horrible woman, that bitch. She
had tried to trick me in to staying with her and told me she was pregnant when I
broke up with her. I knew there was no way I could possibly get her pregnant
because I had been very careful. Ang experience din iyon ang nagtulak sa akin na
maghire na lang ng prostitute. Less drama, less hassle. Just pure sex with a woman
I could turn on and off whenever I wanted.

"Waaaayne!" She screeched before sitting on my lap.

"Margaux, what are you doing?" I tried to push her off my lap. I glared at Seth,
why the fuck did he invite this psycho?

"I didn't know she's here." He mouthed.

I looked at Tanya sitting beside me. Nag-iwas naman ng tingin si Tanya at ipinihit
ang ulo sa kabilang direksyon.

"What do you want?" Tanong ko kay Margaux.

"Let's talk, baby..." She said, her words were a bit slurred. She was already
drunk. "Siya ba ang babaeng ipinalit mo sa akin!" Margaux pointed at Tanya. Siya ba
ha? Nakita ko siyang kasama mo kanina!"

"Margaux, stop it!" Mariing sabi ko.

"Hoy ikaw babae ka! Mang-aagaw ka ng boyfriend!" Humarap siya kay Tanya at dinuro-
duro ito. She reached out to her and before she could touch Tanya I got in between
them. I would never let her touch even a single strand of Tanya's hair.

"I'm not your boyfriend." Inis na sabi ko. "Umalis ka na dito. You're fucking
drunk."
"Aalis lang ako kung sasama ka sa akin. Come on, baby, let's talk this over." She
begged.

I closed my eyes and took a deep sigh. Gusto ko lang siyang mailayo dito para hindi
niya na guluhin si Tanya kaya pumayag akong sumama sa kanya. I gave Tanya a quick
glance before leaving with Margaux. I took her back to her group of friends and she
was stumbling everywhere.

"Please, Wayne... I want you back." Margaux cried as she was hanging on my neck.

Pilit kong tinanggal ang mga kamay niyang nakapulupot sa akin. "Stop it, Margaux.
You're making a scene!"

"Wayne, I love you."

"Margaux, we're not going to get back together kahit anong gawin mo." I said losing
my patience with her. Tinulungan ako ng isang kaibigan niya na ilayo sa akin ang
lasing na babae at nakakuha ako ng pagkakataon makaalis. Damn that bitch!

Tanya was gone when I went back to our lounge and so were the three guys. Damn it!
Where could that girl possibly go? I looked around trying to find her. Nakita ko si
Nick na may kasayaw na babae at si Seth naman ay abala sa pakikipag-usap sa iba pa
niyang guests. And then I saw Tanya sitting on the barrier at the side of the
rooftop, talking to Axel.

She was smiling. I had never seen her smile before. She looked happy and laid back
with him, the complete opposite when she was with me. I unconciously clenched my
fists as annoyance shot through me. I hated that another guy was making her smile.
I hated seeing her getting cozy with Axel but not with me.

I walked towards them. Tanya's smile instantly faded when she saw me. She looked
down, refusing to meet my gaze.

"So, what are you two talking about?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm and
composed.

"Nothing important." Axel shrugged. "How did it go with Margaux?"

"Told her were not going to get back together." I answered in a bored tone.
Ibinalik ko ang tingin kay Tanya. "We have to go, Tanya. Come on."

I was so pissed right now and no longer in the mood to party.

"Already? The party barely started." Sabi ni Axel.

"Kailangan ko na siyang iuwi sa kanila." Dahilan ko.

Axel grinned knowingly. "Oh, right..."

Agad na tumayo si Tanya at lumapit sa akin. I gave her a cold glare before turning
my back to her. Tahmik akong naglakad palabas ng party at alam kong nakasunod lang
sa akin si Tanya. Pareho kaming walang-imik pabalik sa parking lot sa baba kung
nasaan ang kotse.

She was mine. I was fucking paying her. Ako ang nagbabayad sa kanya at hindi si
Axel. But she seemed to be enjoying his company more. I got in the car and she
opened the door to the passenger's seat and got in. We sat there, not one word.

"Give me head." I demanded, after a few minutes of silence. It was time I get my
money's worth.

Tanya's brow shot up, her face confused. "Huh?"

"Unbutton my pants and suck me off." I said in a cold voice. I watched the emotions
flickered across Tanya's expression. She was reluctant to do it but she did anyway.

Her hands slowly went to the button of my pants and it took her a couple of
attempts before she had managed to undo it. Heat instantly radiated all over my
body. She paused after that, like she didn't know what to do. Who was she fooling?
She was goddamn prostitute, probably sucked hundreds of men before. I grew
impatient. I was rock hard and in need of relief.

"What are you waiting for? Take it out." My comanded. Naramdaman kong pumasok ang
kamay niya sa boxers ko. My head fell back to my seat when I felt her warm hand
around my shaft, slowly taking it out.

"Hold it tight. Yeah, like that." I said deciding to take matters into my hands and
instructed her. "Now, take it in your mouth."

Her sweet lips parted and her hands tightened around me. I felt her warm mouth
covering the tip and my breath quickened.

"God yes, open up and take me inside your mouth." I groaned, cupping her head and
slowly lowering it further down as I pushed my hips forward, creating more
friction. "Move your hand with your head. Yeah, that's right..."

I guided her head, bobbing it up and down on me. It was so good I knew I couldn't
control myself and hold back. How I had fantasized about her pleasuring me like
this just last night. I'd be done after just a few moments. The heat was already
building up inside me, ready to explode. Any time soon...

"Oh yes, that's so good, baby. I'm going to come." I moaned as I reached the peak.
I thrusted my hips forward one last time before I took her head in my hands and
pulled her away. My seed came out splattering all over her face.

I looked down at Tanya. Her innocent, angelic face covered with my spunk.

Tanya's POV

Huwag kang iiyak, Tanya. Huwag kang iiyak... Yan ang paulit-ulit na sinasabi ko sa
sarili ko kanina pa. Inabutan ako ni Wayne ng tissue at agad kong pinunasan ang
sarili ko. Parang sasabog na ang dibdib ko sa pagpigil ng luha ko pero wala akong
makitang kahit anong emosyon sa mukha ni Wayne. I was just a playtoy to him.
Pakiramdam ko ang baba baba ko at ang dumi-dumi kong babae. I was officially a
prostitute.

I never even had my first kiss yet and now I just pleasured a man with my mouth.
Ito ang pinasok kong trabaho kaya dapat hindi na ako magulat. Hindi ako dapat maawa
sa sarili ko. Hindi naman kami mapapakain nun. The best I could do is to just get
through this. Matatapos din ito at pagnatapos ito, hinding-hindi na ako lilingon
dito.
Pinaandar na ni Wayne ang kotse niya at tahimik lang akong nakatanaw sa labas ng
bintana.

"Ihinto mo na lang d'yan." Sabi ko ng madaanan namin ang pinakaunang sakayan. Gusto
ko ng makaalis at makalayo sa kanya.

"Are you sure?" Tanong niya sa akin at tumango ako bilang sagot. Inihinto niya ang
kotse sa gilid ng kalsada. Inabutan niya ako ng pera bago ako bumaba. Ang perang
ito ang halaga ng pagkatao ko at ng respeto ko sa sarili na sapilitan kong nilunok.
Kusang bumuhos ang mga luha ko ng tumalikod ako sa kanya. I felt like a worthless
trash.

___

Bellalona Salamat sa cover na ginawa mo sa media section. Really appreciate it :)

Chapter Four
Tanya's POV

"Huy, friendship!" Napakurap ako ng kalabitin ako ni Edna sa balikat. Napalingon

ako sa kanya.

"Kanina ka pa nakatulala d'yan." Sabi niya. "May problema na naman ba? Yung
landlady niyo na naman? Gamot ng nanay mo? O pinoproblema mo na naman yung
nalalapit na exam dahil hindi ka makakakuha ng permit kasi wala kang pera? Nung
nagbigay yata ng problema ikaw ang una sa linya. Lahat na yata ng problema nasalo
mo."

Sana ganun kadali ko nasasabi sa kanya ang problema ko katulad ng dati dahil
pakiramdam ko sasabog na ang dibdib ko. Para akong nalulunod sa bigat ng dinadala
ko. Hindi ako makatulog o makakain mula ng gabing iyon. Mula ng ipagawa sa akin ni
Wayne ang bagay na iyon. Sana ganun kadali kong nasasabi sa kanya na nandidiri ako
sa sarili ko sa ginawa ko, na ibinenta ko na ang sarili ko kapalit ng pera. Isa na
akong puta. Ilang libong piso lang ang halaga ng pagkatao ko.

Pinitik niya ang daliri niya sa harap ng mukha ko. "Naririnig mo ba ako?"

Pinilit kong ngumiti at umiling. "Wala akong problema. Nakakaantok lang magturo
itong prof natin."

"Hay, sinabi mo pa." Umikot ang mga mata ni Edna. "Nagtatampo sa'yo si papa Luis.
Sabi niya sa akin may sumundo daw sayong lalaking de kotse. Bakit hindi mo naman
sinasabi sa akin na may jowa ka na pala."

"Sira! Hindi ko yun jowa. Sinabi ko naman kay Luis na tinutulungan lang ako nung
tao na makakuha ng scholarship."

"Gwapo ba?" Sumalong baba si Edna at mas lalong lumapad ang ngiti niya.

Pumasok na naman sa isip ko ang mukha ni Wayne. Ang mukhang hindi mawala-wala kahit
sa panaginip ko. At ang mga titig niya sa akin na para bang tumatagos sa kaluluwa
ko.

Oo. Gwapo si Wayne. Hindi pa nga sapat ang salitang 'gwapo' para ilarawan siya.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit kailangan niya pa ako, alam kong maraming babae ang kaya
niyang pasunurin sa lahat ng gusto niya ng hindi niya kinakailangan magbayad.

"Uy, in love ka na, no?" Pabiro niyang hinampas ang braso ko. "Si Tanya in love na,
kaya pala natutulala ka na lang d'yan... paano na si Luis niyan?"

"Hindi ako in love." Mariin at walang kangiti-ngiting sabi ko. Paano ako maiinlove
sa isang lalaking parausan lang ang tingin sa akin? Pampawala lang ng init ng
katawan. Alam kong para kay Wayne isa lang akong laruan na pwede niyang gawin kung
ano ang gusto niya. Na kapag sinabi niya hubarin ko ang panty ko, gagawin ko. Kapag
sinabi niyang buksan ko ang butones ng pantalon niya, susunod ako. Kapag sinabi
niyang ibaba ko ang ulo ko sa... biglang nag-init ang magkabilang sulok ng mata ko
ng bumalik sa isip ko ang nangyari ng gabing iyon. Hindi ako in love kay Wayne at
kahit kailan hindi mangyayari iyon.

Halatang nabigla si Edna sa bigla kong pagseryoso. Bago pa siya nakapagsalita ulit
tumunog na ang bell. Agad kong sinara ang libro ko at nagmamadaling lumabas sa
classroom. Ni hindi ko siya pinansin ng tawagin niya ako. Ayoko ng umiyak dahil
doon. Ilang beses ko ba kailangan isaksak sa utak ko sa trabahong pinasok ko
kailangan tibayan ko na ang emosyon ko? Na kailangan handa na ako sa kahit anong
mangyari? Walang mangyayari kung puro emosyon at awa sa sarili ang paiiralin ko.
Hindi mababayaran nun ang mga bayarin sa bahay, ang gamot ni nanay o ang tuition
fee ko.

Wayne's POV
Tanya was clean. She wasn't positive for any disease. Iyon ang nakasulat sa result
niya na kinuha ko kanina sa clinic. After days of waiting and jacking off to the
thought of her I could finally shag without worrying if I would catch a disease.
Those days felt longer than it really was for me.

I could already imagine Tanya under me, on top me, wherever, whenever. I just
wanted her. Fuck that, I needed her. I had never needed a woman so much as much as
I needed her. I thought what happened in my car a few nights ago would somehow tame
this craving but it didn't. It just made me want her more. I couldn't forget how
her warm mouth felt around me. Bumalik sa isip ko ang nangyaring iyon. Her face
covered with my come. It looked so sexy...

Pero pakiramdam ko parang may nagawa akong mali pagkatapos nun. Maybe it was
because she looked innocent. Too innocent. She didn't look hardened enough for this
type of job. Her feautures were so delicate na pakiramdam mo kailangan mo siyang
ingatan sa tuwing hahawakan mo siya. I even felt like I would taint her just by
touching her.

I just... I didn't want to put her on a pedestal. She was still a whore after all
no matter how innocent looking she was. My whore.

"Lil Wayne..." Inakbayan ako ni Seth. Agad kong tiniklop ang papel para hindi niya
makita.

"What's that?" Kunot ang noong tanong niya.

"Nothing..." I said, shaking his arm off my shoulder.

"Patingin nga..." He tried to take it from me. Mabilis kong nailayo sa kanya iyon.

"It's nothing!" Inis na sabi ko.

Nagkibit-balikat na lang si Seth.

"Uuwi na muna ako." Sabi ko sa kanila. Napatingin sa akin sina Nick na abala sa
pagbibilyar.

"Hindi ka sasama mag-clubbing mamaya?" Tristan asked.

"Nah, I think I'll pass." I answered.

"What's happening to you, dude? Palagi ka na lang MIA." Sabi naman ni Nick.

"I'm just not in the mood." I said.

"Say hi to Tanya for me." Axel said with a teasing grin. I frowned and shook my
head before turning away. Narinig ko pa ang malakas na tawa niya bago ako lumabas.

I immediately called Tanya as soon as I got in my car. After a few rings she picked
it up.

"H-hello?" I heard her voice on the other line.

"Nasaan ka ngayon?" Tanong ko.

"Nasa school pero pauwi na ako." Sagot niya.

"Stay there. I'll pick you up." Sabi ko. Hindi ko na siya hinintay na sumagot at
ibinaba ko na ang phone. I quickly drove off to Tanya's school. My heart was racing
with excitement when I parked my car in front of her school. This is the day I
would finally have her.

Kakaparada ko pa lang ng kotse biglang bumukas ang pinto ng passenger's seat at

nagmamadaling pumasok si Tanya.

"H-halika na..." She said with an urgent tone while looking around.

My brow lifted. "Why the hurry?"

Tanya looked at me before looking down on her lap. Na para bang nakakapaso ang mga
tingin ko. I hated when she does that. Why couldn't she fucking look me in the eye.
"Baka kasi may makakita sa'yo... ayoko naman maghinala ang mga kaibigan ko."
Hindi na ako kumibo. I felt sorry for her, actually. I knew she didn't want this
kind of life. Sino bang babae ang pinangarap na pasukin ang ganitong uri ng
trabaho? And she was just eighteen, for fuck's sake. I'd been living a privileged
life since the day I was born. I never knew what it was like to struggle for a
living nor do I ever have to worry about it.

I couldn't deny that I was curious about her. Gusto kong makilala ang totoong siya.
Gusto kong malaman kung bakit kinailangan niyang pasukin ang ganitong trabaho. I
just didn't know how I could get her to talk...

"Kumain muna tayo." I said as I pulled over in front of a restaurant.Bumaba ako sa

kotse at mabilis naman siyang sumunod sa akin.

We were given a table and a menu. I gazed at her as she looked at the menu, taking
her in. I watced as if in slow motion as she turned the pages of the menu, studying
her lovely face and her long black hair. Nag-angat siya ng tingin at nagulat ng
makita akong nakatingin sa kanya. She quickly tensed.

"You're not scared of me, are you?" Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili kong tanungin
siya.

Matagal siyang hindi kumibo. Then her eyes dropped to her plate before shaking her
head. She was lying.

I just sighed and let it go. I hated how she couldn't be comfortable around me.

"Bakit ganitong trabaho ang naisip mong pasukin?" I asked her.

"K-kasi kailangan ko ng pera." She answered.

"What for?"

"Para mabuhay. Hindi naman bumabagsak na lang sa langit ang mga pagkain na kinakain
ko o mga pang-araw araw na pangangailangan namin." Sagot niya.
"But why this job? Marami namang trabaho diyan."

"Hindi ganung kadali humanap ng trabaho." Sagot niya.

"Wala ka bang mga magulang?"

"May sakit ang nanay ko."

"At ang tatay mo?"

She just shook her head and that ended our conversation. She gave me those looks,
letting me know that she wasn't ready to let me in yet and I understood that. The
waiter took our orders and we quietly ate.

I wonder what if I'd met her at a different time, a different place? Noong hindi pa
siya ang babaeng nasa blue book. I wondered how it would be like... I wished I had
met her before she became one of those girls in the blue book.

Tahimik kaming bumalik sa kotse pagkatapos kumain. I took her to my condo.Hindi ako
nagdadala ng mga babae dito pero hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa isip ko at
dinala ko siya dito. I'd moved out of the family home since my 20th birthday. It
was a gift from my dad. The unit wasn't huge, it was just enough space for a single
guy like me.

I opened the door with my key card and stepped in. Nasa likod ko si Tanya at
nakasunod sa akin.

Pumasok kami sa kwarto ko at binitawan ko ang kamay niya. Umupo siya sa gilid ng
kama, as if she drained of all energy. I looked at her and she was restlessly
fidgeting with her hands.

"Tanya..." Tawag ko sa kanya. Dahan-dahan siyang tumingin sa akin. "Do you want to
take a shower with me?"

She shook her head. I watched the emotions that flickered across her delicate.
Fear, anxiety, apprehension. She was afraid. "M-mauna ka na muna."

I nodded my head and went to the bathroom. Binuksan ko ang shower and I stepped
under it. Tanya was making me feel confused. She was a prostitute but she was
acting like a virgin on the first night. She should've been a lot more comfortable
with this by now. Who the hell cares about that? Who the hell cares about her past
experiences? Tonight she would be mine. I would make her mine and mine only.

I wrapped the towel around my waist after a quick shower. Lumabas ako ng bathroom
at nakitang nakaupo pa rin si Tanya sa kama kung saan ko siya iniwan kanina. I
slowly sat next to her at mabilis siyang napatayo.

"Um, magshoshower lang ako." Mahinang sabi niya.

I gave out an annoyed huff. "Make it quick."

Tumango siya at pinanood ko siyang pumasok sa banyo at isinara ang pinto. Kasunod
nun ay naring ko ang pagragasa ng tubig mula sa shower. I could see her in my mind
as she undresses herself, I could imagine every curve of her body revealing itself.
Just a few more minutes and I would see the body I'd been fantasizing about for
days. And not just see... I would get to touch her, kiss her, and own her
completely. God, she was making me crazy.

I could feel my erection growing under this towel around my waist. I would ravage
her tiny, delicate body that she wouldn't want any other man but me after that.
After what seemed like eternity, the bathroom door opened.

Lumabas si Tanya na may nakabalot na puting tuwalya sa katawan. She slowly walked
towards me and stopped in front of me. Nakayuko ang ulo niya at nakatingin siya sa
sahig. It took her a few seconds to move her hands to the towel and unwrapped
herself, the towel falling to the ground. I watched in awe as her naked body stood
in front of me. It was more than what I had imagined it would be like. My already
hard shaft grew even stiffer. Huminto ang mata ko sa dibdib niya. Her perky nipples
stood proud on her chest. My eyes traveled down to her flat stomach and her hips
and down to the small triangle of curls masking her sweet pussy.

I heard a sob at kasunod nun ay ang pagbagsak ng maliit na butil ng luha sa sahig.
I looked back up to her face and saw it was covered with tears. My lust and
excitement died down. Damn!I felt the need to take her in to my arms. And I did. I
stood up and hugged her. I didn't know what she was crying about but I just wanted
to be there for her.

"Sorry... sorry talaga, Wayne." She murmured, her face buried on my bare chest.
"Shh, It's alright..." I said as I stroked her hair.

I didn't know how we ended up in bed. Namalayan ko na lang iyon ng nakahiga na kami
sa kama at nakapulupot ang mga bisig ko sa kanya. I was spooning her naked body
while she cried, my arms around her waist. I gave her gentle kisses on her hair.

My need to fuck her disappeared. All of a sudden just her warm body against me was
enough. No, I didn't want to fuck her anymore. She needed someone and I guess that
someone would have to be me. I could almost feel her emotions, the weight of the
world on her, the heavy burdens she had to carry. I could feel it all just by
holding her. It was like our spirit connected.

I realized how many times she needed someone and how many times that I was not
there. As I held her isa lang ang nasa isip ko.

I want to be the safe place you will come to, Tanya...

Chapter Five

Wayne's POV

I took a deep breath and exhaled. She was still in my arms and I was stroking her
hair. Hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal na kami sa ganitong posisyon at wala akong
pakialam. We were just quietly lying in bed, savoring the feeling of each other's
body against us. I wondered how it was possible to be this captivated by a person.
How just having her next to me was enough, how it was just enough to be. Even the
silence that filled the air was enough to let myself believe that she was worth
knowing, she was worth losing yourself in to and dear Lord, how I did.

"Wayne..." She called my name in a small, shaky voice. Sinubukan niyang kumawala sa
mga bisig ko pero lalo kong hinigpitan ang yakap ko. I wanted her like this, in my
arms. And I didn't want to let her go, not just yet. Her warmth was so
pleasant,pressed against me. Her sweet scent filling my nose. My hands on her soft,
delicate body. Every inch of her body was mine, completely mine tonight. I could do
anything I wanted with it but I was contented with having her in my arms. It filled
me with some kind of serenity.

"You're safe with me. I promise. I'm not going to do anything you wouldn't be okay
with." I whispered in her ear. I wouldn't treat her like other men had... like a
sexual object. I wanted every bit of her but in the most innocent way possible. I
wanted her smile, her laugh, her secrets, her good and bad, to be mine.

Her body relaxed back against me. "Salamat, Wayne."

After a few moment, her breathing changed, it became slower and deeper. She had
already fallen asleep, probably exhausted from all the crying. I didn't know when
or how she became important to me, but she was and I couldn't explain it.

Wala akong alam tungkol sa kanya kung hindi ang pangalan niya pero bakit ganito ang
nararamdaman ko sa kanya? The more I got to be with her and the more I got to know
her, the more I was drawn to her. It was just her youthful beauty, the wholesome
purity on her face. Maybe it was just that. Maybe I was feeling this way towards
her because she just looked too pure to have lust thoughts about. She was like a
puzzle, a game that had me hooked already.

I sighed, giving her one last kiss on her hair before closing my eyes. It didn't
take long for me to drift to sleep.

Tanya's POV

Inunat ko ang mga braso ko at katawan ko ng maramdaman ko ang malamig na hangin na

dumapo sa balat ko. Agad kong binuksan ang mga mata ko at nagulat ako ng makitang
nasa ibang kwarto ako. Pinigil ko ang tili ko ng magbaba ang tingin ko sa katawan
at makitang wala akong kahit anong damit na suot. Napaupo ako, pinulupot ko sa
katawan ko ang kumot na nakatakip sa akin. Bumalik sa isip ko ang nangyari kagabi.
Hinanap ng mga mata ko si Wayne ngunit wala na siya sa kwarto. Sinubukan ko din
hanapin ang mga damit ko pero hindi ko mahagilap ko nasan iyon. Napansin ko ang
damit na maayos na nakapatong sa bedside table. Isang gray na t-shirt at itim na
sweatpants. Sinuot ko ang mga iyon kahit na maluwag sa akin ang damit, buti na lang
at may tali ang sweatpants kaya pwede kong higpitan. Pagkatapos kong magbihis
naglakad na ako papunta sa pinto para lumabas. Biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso
ko. Tahimik kong pinagdadasal na sana nakaalis na si Wayne, sana hindi kami magkita
ngayon. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mukhang ihaharap ko. Nakita niya ang buong
katawan ko at natulog pa kaming magkatabi...

"Morning..." Halos mapalundag ako ng marinig ko ang boses niya pagkasara ko ng

pinto sa kwarto. Dahan-dahan akong humarap at nakita siyang nakaupo sa sofa.
Nakasuot siya ng pang-ibabang pajama pero wala siyang pang-itaas. Bahagyang tumaas
ang magkabilang sulak ng mga labi niya. "How was your sleep?"

"Okay naman." Sagot ko sa kanya bago ako muling nagbaba ng tingin. Tumayo siya sa
kinauupuan niya. Lumapit siya sa akin at huminto sa harap ko. Inipit niya ang baba
ko sa pagitan ng dalawang daliri niya at inangat ang mukha ko dahilan para
mapilitan akong tumingin sa kanya.

"Why do you keep looking down and not at me?" Tanong niya.

Hindi ako kumportableng makipagtitigan sa kanya. Para akong malulusaw at bumibilis

ang tibok ng puso ko sa tuwing titignan ko siya. He made me feel comfortable and
nervous at the same time.

"Sorry..." Hingi ko ng tawad.

"Ayokong magbaba ka ng tingin sa tuwing nag-uusap tayo."

I slowly nodded my head.

"Mukha ba kong nakakatakot?"

Umiling ako.

"Yun naman pala."

"S-sorry nga pala sa nangyari kagabi." I bit my lower lip.

"You don't need to apologize for that." Ngumiti siya sa akin at parang may kung
anong kumiliti sa tiyan ko. "Kumain na tayo?"

"T-teka, kailangan ko ng umuwi. Baka hinahanap na ako sa amin at saka may klase pa
ako." Nag-panic ako ng maalala ko ang nanay. Sigurado akong nag-aalala na yun at
hindi siguro siya nakatulog kagabi kahihintay sa akin. Hindi ako nagpaalam sa kanya
dahil hindi ko naman alam na aabutin ako ng umaga dito. Ang akala ko gagawin lang
naming 'yun' at hahayaan niya na akong umuwi. Kabaliktaran ang nangyari sa akala
ko.

Hindi pa ako pwedeng mag-absent sa klase dahil kailangan kong makakuha ng mataas na
grades ngayon. Gusto ko ulit kumuha ng scholarship para mabawasan naman kahit paano
ang mga kailangan kong bayaran. Para makaluwag-luwag naman ng konti.

"Tumawag ka sa inyo. Gamitin mo yung phone ko." Sabi niya.

"Uuwi na lang ako."

Umiling siya. "Nuh-uh. This is my time, remember?"

Hindi nga pala ako pwedeng tumanggi. Binabayaran niya lang ako. Nanliliit na naman
ako sa sarili ko pero pinalis ko agad yun sa isip ko.

Dahan-dahan akong tumango. Siguro pwede naman akong tumawag kay nanay sa phone ng
kapit-bahay namin para naman hindi siya mag-alala. "Pwede bang gamitin yung phone
mo?"

"Go ahead." Sabi niya at itinuro sa akin ang phone na nakapatong sa side table sa
tabi ng sofa. Kinuha ko yun at dinial ang number ng kapit-bahay namin. Nakakahiya
man abalahin sila pero wala naman kaming phone sa bahay at kailangan malaman ni
nanay na walang nangyaring masama sa akin. Ayaw na ayaw ko pa naman na nag-aalala
siya.

Sumagot ko ang kapit-bahay namin at hinanap ko sa nanay. Tinawag niya naman si

nanay at pagkaraan ng ilang sandali narinig ko ang boses niya. "Tanya, anak. Saan
ka ba nagpupuntang bata ka? Kagabi pa ako alalang-alala sa'yo."

"Sorry po, nay. Ginabi po kasi kami sa bahay ng kaklase ko kaya natulog na lang ako
sa kanila." Ayaw kong magsinungaling kay nanay pero ito ang makakabuti.

"Tinakot mo talaga ako. Akala ko kung napano ka na." Bakas pa rin ang pag-aalala sa
boses niya.
"Nay, huwag na po kayong mag-alala sa akin. Okay naman po ako." Sabi ko. Nagpaalam
na ako sa kanya pagkatapos naming mag-usap. Humarap ako kay Wayne na tahimik na
nakatingin sa akin. Pinilit kong ngumiti sa kanya. Gusto kong iwasan ang mga titig
niya but I held his gaze.

"Halika na, kumain na tayo." Sabi niya. Sumunod ako sa kanya papuntang kusina. May
kinuha siya mula sa ref na dalawang kwadranong bagay na nakabalot sa loob ng
karton.

"Ano yan?" Tanong ko.

"Frozen meals. Anong gusto mo mac and cheese o pasta?"

"Gusto mong magluto ako?" Hindi naman kasi ako kumakain ng mga yun at iba pa rin
ang lutong bahay.

He looked at me surprised and he smiled. "Sige, kung gusto mo."

Binuksan ko ang ref niya para maghanap ng maluluto. May nakita akong mga itlog at
tocino. Niluto ko yun at ginawang scrambled egg ang itlog. Ang natirang kanin naman
sa rice cooker niya ginawa kong sinangag. Nilagyan ko siya sa plato niya ng mga yun
pagkatapos maluto at inilapag sa mesa sa sa harap niya. Umupo ako sa tabi niya at
kumain na rin. Lihim kong pinanood ko siya habang kumakain siya at natuwa ako ng
makita kong sarap na sarap siya.

"Ang tagal ko ng hindi nakakatikim ng totoong pagkain." Sabi niya. "Ang sarap."

Habang abala siya sa pagkain, kumuha ako ng isang pitsel ng tubig sa ref. I poured
the water on the glass at bumalik ako sa mesa. Inilapag ko iyon sa harap niya.
Nagulat ako ng bigla niyang hawakan ang kamay ko habang hawak ko pa ang baso.
Naramdaman ko ang init ng palad niya, pakiramdam ko parang may ilang boltahe ng
kuryenteng dumapo mula sa kamay ko papunta sa buong katawan ko. He looked up at me
with a smile on his eyes. "Don't spoil me too much, Tanya. Baka masanay ako nito."

"S-sorry..." Dahan-dahan kong binawi ang kamay ko mula sa pagkakahawak niya. Hindi
ko na kasi makaya ang sensasyong nararamdaman ko sa hawak niya.

He chuckled and slowly shook his head. "Stop apologizing so much."

 Nagpatuloy kami sa tahimik na pagkain. Sa loob-loob ko, hindi ko maiwasan ang
mapangiti habang pinagmamasdan ko siya. Sarap na sarap talaga siya sa niluto ko.

"May klase pa ako. Kailangan ko ng umuwi." Sabi ko kay Wayne pagkatapos naming
kumain. "Ah Wayne, yung uniform ko..." Isa lang kasi ang uniform ko kaya
pinagkakaingat-ingatan ko yun.

"Ano'ng oras ba ang klase mo?" Tanong ko.

"Ten thirty." Sagot ko.

"Nine forty-five na. Kung uuwi ka pa, malalate ka na n'yan. Ako na ang maghahatid
sa'yo."

"Hindi na kailangan-"

"Tanya, hindi ba ako ang masusunod?" Seryosong sabi niya.

Wala na akong nagawa kung hindi ang tumango.

"At yung uniform mo pala pinalabhan ko na sa house keeper kanina. Take a shower,
baka malate ka na." Sabi niya.

I did what he told me to do. Nag-shower ako sa bathroom niya. Habang nagshoshower
ako hindi ko maiwasan isipin ang nangyari kagabi. Takot na takot ako kagabi. Hindi
ko na napigil na umiyak sa harap niya. Akala ko magagalit siya sa akin, akala ko
pipilitin niya ako pero hindi... He respected me. Niyakap niya ako at nakatulog
akong yakap-yakap niya pa rin ako. Sobrang bigat ng dibdib ko ng kagabi pero habang
hawak niya ko kagabi at umiiyak ako sa kanya it was like the weight had been
lifted. Siguro kailangan ko lang talagang iiyak lahat yun. I'd tried to be strong
because I had to. Ako lang ang inaasahan ni nanay at ako lang ang masasandalan niya
pero sumabog na lahat ng nararamdaman ko kagabi. I was glad it was with him... He
had helped me just by being there for me.

I got out of the shower and dried myself. Bigla kong naalalang wala akong
toothbrush. Sumilip ako sa labas ng pinto ng banyo at nakita ko si Wayne na
prenteng nakaupo sa kama.
"Wayne..." Nahihiyang tinawag ko siya.

Napatingin siya sa kain. "Yeah?"

"May extra ka bang toothbrush?" Tanong ko sa kanya. Hindi naman ako pwedeng pumasok
sa school ng hindi man lang nagtootooth brush.

"No, but you can use mine." Sabi niya.

"H-ha?"

"Gamitin mo yung akin, yung nasa sink."

"S-sige..." Sabi ko at isinira na ang pinto ng banyo. Lumapit ako sa sink at

dinampot ang toothbrush na nandun. I was going to use the toothbrush he had used.
Para ko na rin siyang... nahalikan nun. I had never had a first kiss before... I
wondered it would be like... with Wayne. Umiling ako na para bang tinatanggal iyon
sa isip ko. Hindi tama ito. Hindi tama ang mga naiisip ko. Binabayaran niya lang
ako. Kahit kailan hindi ako pwedeng mainlove sa kanya. I was the lover he didn't
need to love.

Ginamit ko ang toothbrush niya. Ninamnam ko iyon, dahan-dahan. Pinipilit kong

hanapin ang lasa niya. Napabuntong-hininga ako. Ano ba itong kagagahan ko? Nagmumog
na ako at lumabas ng banyo.

"Ito na nag uniform mo." Inabot niya sa akin iyon pagkalabas ko pa lang. "I'll wait
for you outside."

Tumango ako. Nagbihis na ako at nag-ayos ng sarili. Pagkatapos ay lumabas ako at

nakita ko si Wayne na naghihintay sa akin gaya ng sabi niya. Bumaba na kami sa
parking lot at sumakay sa kotse. Pinaandar niya na ang kotse niya. Pagkaraan ng
ilang minute nasa harap na kami ng eskwelahan.

"Papasok ka na rin?" Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili kong itanong.

"Yep." Sagot niya. "Sige na. Baka malate ka pa."

"Salamat, Wayne..." Ngumiti ako sa kanya.

"Yan, dapat palagi kang ngumingiti. Lalo kang gumaganda." Sabi niya.

Naramdaman kong namula ang magkabilang pisngi ko pero hindi ko napigilan ang
mapangiti lalo. "S-sige, bye na." Tumalikod na ako sa kanya para itago ang pamumula
ng pisngi ko at para buksan na rin ang pinto ng kotse niya.

"Tanya..." Tawag niya sa akin.

Napilitan akong lumingon ulit sa kanya. "B-bakit?"

Nagulat ako sa sunod niyang ginawa. Lumapit ang mukha niya sa akin at binigyan ako
ng halik sa labi. Isang mabilis na halik lang pero para akong nawala sa sarili.
Parang may isang libong paru-parong nagliparan sa loob ng tiyan ko. Parang huminto
ang mundo ko ng ilang Segundo. That was my first kiss...

"Bye." He smiled.

Napakurap ako at muling bumalik ang malay ko. "B-bye."

"Oh, and Tanya." Pahabol niya. "Ito nga pala ang bayad ko sa'yo."

Inabot niya sa akin ang pera. At naalala ko na naman kung ano ang papel ko sa buhay
niya. Maling magkaron ako ng nararamdaman para sa kanya. Binabayaran nila langa ko.
Tinanggap ko iyon at nagmamadaling lumabas ng kotse.

Chapter Six
Wayne's POV

Tanya, why won't you leave my mind? I sighed as I layed down on my bed. All I could
think about was her, her plump lips and how it tasted against mine. My mouth
watered as I remembered how she smelled like lavander and something sweet I
couldn't figure out. She smelled like gentleness and comfort, yet she was the one
comfort at that time. It soothed me to my bones. She had this uncertain heavenly
warmth that radiated from every pores of her body. The softness of her demeanor.
Her beauty was like of a perfectly still water or a cool morning air. She was
refreshing to say the least.

I reached for my phone on the bedside table and I found myself dialing her number.
I'd be happy just to hear her voice again.

"Hello?" I heard her sweet, soft voice after a few rings.

"Tanya."

"Wayne." She sounded surprised.

"How was your day?" Tanong ko.

"Uh... okay naman. Ikaw?"

"It was good." I answered. Though it would be great if it was spent with you. I
glanced at the clock to see that it was already eleven o'clock. "Natutulog ka na
ba? Naistorbo ba kita?"

"Hindi naman. Kauuwi ko lang galing sa trabaho. Closing kasi ako ngayon." Sabi
niya.

"What are you doing now?" I asked.

"Katatapos ko lang kumain." Sagot niya. "Nagdinner ka na ba?"

"Yeah. Ikaw nga ang naisip ko habang kumakain ako dito mag-isa. I was wishing you
were here to cook dinner for me." I let out a sigh.

"Hayaan mo minsan ipagluluto kita ng ulam. Pwede ilagay mo na lang sa fridge at

initin mo kung gusto mo nang kainin." She said.

"You would do that for me?"

"Oo naman."

"Ano'ng oras ang pasok mo bukas?"

"Seven ng umaga."

"Ano'ng oras ang tapos ng klase mo?"

"Six ng gabi."

"Maaga ka pa bukas. You should go to sleep." I said. "Good night, Tanya."

"Good night, Wayne." Sagot niya.

I still didn't want to hang up the phone and she didn't hang up either. There were
no words needed to be said. Neither one of us spoke because it was almost as if an
understood communication had been made. It was a comfortable silence like the
silence where you just both can think together. Just to hear her soft breathing and
just to know she was still there was enough for me.

"Good night." Ulit ko pagkalipas ng ilang minuto.

"Good night." She answered back again.

"Good night." I chuckled.

"Good night." I could hear the smile in her voice.

I shook my head, laughing silently. I was just waiting for her to hang up the phone
so I could hang up but she kept answering my good nights. Baka hindi kami matapos
kaka-good night nito. "Just hang up the phone."

"Ah, okay. Sorry." Parang natarantang sabi niya. "Good night, Wayne..."

"Tanya!" I burst into laughter.

"Sorry ulit." She softly said before hanging up the phone. I shook my head as I
looked at my phone with a smile on my face. What the hell was happening to me? What
was all that about? She had bewitched me in a way no woman had before. I had never
felt such an attraction in my whole life.

Tanya's POV

Wala sa sariling niyakap ko ang phone ko nang ibaba ko iyon. Hanggang ngayon hindi
pa rin mawala-wala ang ngiti ko. Hindi ako makapaniwalang tinawagan ako ni Wayne
para kamustahin at mag good night lang. Ang bilis pa rin ng tibok ng puso ko.

May isang banda sa isip ko na sumisigaw na mali ito. Hindi ko dapat maramdaman ito
para kay Wayne. Wala akong karapatan. I was just his paid companion. Ako lang din
ang masasaktan sa huli kung magkukunwari akong hindi ako isang bayarang babae lang
para sa kanya at normal ang relasyon na meron kami. I shouldn't feel anything for
him. This was just a job. Hindi dapat ako ma-attach sa kanya.

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga ng maramdaman kong bumigat ang dibdib ko. Bakit
pa kasi niya ako tinatrato ng ganito? Bakit niya ako hinalikan kanina? Bakit
tinawagan niya pa ako? Naguguluhan ako sa mga ginagawa niya. Mas mabuti pa nga kung
tratuhin niya ako ng gaya sa pagtrato niya sa akin noong una. Kahit paano alam ko
kung saan ang lugar ko. Na binabayaran niya lang ako para gawin ang kahit anong
gusto niyang ipagawa sa akin.

Ngayon sa mga ginagawa niya natatakot akong baka makalimot ako. Baka mahulog ang
loob ko sa kanya. Kahit na ayaw kong mangyari iyon at kahit pilit kong isinisiksik
sa utak ko na hindi pwede, hindi ko pa rin siya matanggal sa isip ko. Hindi ko pa
rin makalimutan hanggang ngayon ang pakiramdam ng mga labi niya at ang lasa nito.
Kapag ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko at pilitin ang sarili kong matulog siya ang
nakikita ko. Parang nararamdaman ko pa rin ang yakap niya sa akin kagabi.

You're safe with me. I promise. Parang naririnig ko pa rin ang boses niya na
ibinubulong sa akin iyon. He made me feel safe. He made me feel loved. He made me
feel special. Kung patuloy niyang gagawin iyon alam kong mahihirapan akong pigilan
ang sarili ko na mahulog ang loob ko sa kanya. I should use my brain and not my
emotions. Kailangan kong parating tandaan na ako lang ang inaasahan ni nanay.
Masyado na akong maraming problema para problemahin pa ang nararamdaman ko para kay
Wayne. Isa lang ang sigurado at dapat kong tandaan... binabayaran niya lang ako.

Hindi naman permanente ito. Hindi siya magtatagal sa buhay ko. Aalis din siya kapag
nagsawa na siya.
Wayne's POV

I stopped my car in front of her school and waited for her. It was already six in
the evening. I was just about to call her to tell her I was already outside of her
school when I saw her walking out of the building. She was with a girl and a guy.
It was the same guy I saw her with the first time I picked her up. I got out of my
car and walked over to where she was.

"Hi, Tanya." I said in a monotone.

"Wayne!" She looked at me surprised but she quickly blinked away her surprise. "Um,
ito nga pala ang kaibigan kong si Edna, at si Luis, hindi ba nagkakilala na kayo
noon?"

I quietly nodded at her friend Edna and looked at Luis. That fucker was looking at
me like he wanted to kill me. My lips lifted in a sneer as my hand reached for
Tanya's tiny waist, wraping it around the back of it and pulling her to my side.
Lalong tumalim ang titig sa akin ng lalaking iyon. It doesn't take a genius to see
that he likes Tanya.

"Let's go?" I asked with a smile as I turned my head to her.

"Hindi ba sabi mo sasama ka sa amin kumain sa labas?" Luis said, unsmiling.

"Sorry, I didn't know you already have plans for tonight." I said, trying to
control my annoyance. I saw her biting her bottom lip with an anxious look on her
face. I was subtly making her choose between them and me and she got the hint.

"Sorry, Luis, Edna, sa ibang araw na lang. May kailangan kasi kaming puntahan."
Sabi niya.

Edna nodded her head. "Okay lang. Gora na." She said with a grin.

Lalong nagdilim ang mukha ng Luis na iyon at lalo naman lumaki ang ngiti ko. I saw
him clench his jaw. Tanya was mine and I made sure he knew it.

"Halika na." Aya sa akin ni Tanya. She was obviously uncomfortable having me around
with her friends. She said good bye to her friends and we went over to my car.

"May gusto ba yung Luis na iyon sa'yo?" I asked while I was driving.

"Kaibigan ko lang siya." Halos pabulong na sabi niya.

"May gusto ba siya sa'yo?" I repeated the question when I couldn't get the answer I
wanted from her.

"N-nanligaw siya sa akin dati..."

"Nagpapaligaw ka?"

"H-hindi... Una pa lang siyang nanligaw sa akin sinabi ko na na hindi pwede.

Kaibigan lang ang tingin ko sa kanya." Her voice was shaking. "Huwag ka naman
sanang magalit sa akin, Wayne."

"Tanya..." I took a deep breath in and let out a long exhale. She was scared of me,
I could tell. I couldn't blame her. Sa ginawa ko sa kanya noon. I was a fucking
monster to her. God, I felt an asshole. "Hindi ako galit sa'yo."
She finally relaxed when I said that. Dinala ko sa parking lot ng condo ang kotse
ko at bumaba na kami. She started nervously fidgeting again as we walked to my
condo unit. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she turned her head and
looked up at me. I gave her a smile that was supposed to be comforting but I must
have done something wrong since she looked nervous anyway.

I used my card key to open my door and we went in.

"Hindi ba sabi mo ipagluluto mo ako ng dinner?" Nakangiting sabi ko sa kanya.

"Gutom na 'ko."

"Ano bang gusto mong kainin?" Tanong niya sa akin. She was less nervous this time.

"Kahit ano'ng lutuin mo, kakainin ko." I answered.

"May manok ka ba?"

I nodded my head. "Meron sa freezer."

"Gusto mo ba ng tinolang manok?"

"Sure." I smiled.

I brought her to the kitchen and I sat on the island while I watched her cook. She
was beautiful to the core. Everything she does was beautiful. There was just
something unmistakingly fragile about the way she looks and the way she acts. I had
seen her sobbing her heart out, shaking. But the way she carried herself was
completely compelling. You could fall for her as easy as breathing. I was very
drawn to her.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at hinapit siya sa baywang habang nakatalikod siya at abala sa
pagluluto.

"Wayne!" She was startled.

"Luto na ba? Naamoy ko na kasi." I whispered, my lips on the shell of her ear.

"M-malapit na." She softly said. "Gusto mo bang tikman kung okay na sa'yo ang
timpla?" Natatarantang sabi niya bago umikot paharap sa akin. Inilapit niya sa
bibig ko ang sandok. I took a sip and cussed loudly when I felt it burn my lips
and tongue. Nabitawan ni Tanya ang hawak niyang sandok. "Wayne, sorry. Hindi ko
sinasadya. Sorry talaga." She apologized, touching my lips with her shaky hand.

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at ngumiti. "Geez, Tanya, you need to calm down." I
chuckled. "Hindi naman kita kakainin kapag nagkamali. Just calm down, okay?"

Dahan-dahan niyang binawi ang kamay niya sa akin at tumango. Tumalikod ulit siya at
nagpatuloy sa pagluluto. After a few more minutes, the food was finally cooked.
Hinain niya iyon sa mesa at sabay kaming kumain.

"Ang sarap nito, ah." Sabi ko bago sumubo.

"Paborito yan ni nanay." She said with an unguarded smile. I loved how her face
lits up everytime she talks about her mother. Halatang mahal na mahal niya ang
nanay niya. I wanted to see more of her in that light.

"Kaya pala ang sarap. Siguro madalas mo 'tong niluluto para sa kanya." I said.
She shook her head. "Kapag ay natitirang pera lang pero bihira mangyari 'yun.
Madalas kasi kulang ang pera namin dahil marami kaming kailangan bayaran."

I felt a tug on my heart, a wave of sadness hitting me. I felt sorry for her. Mas
lalo kong naiintindihan ngayon kung bakit kailangan niyang pasukin ang ganitong
trabaho. Nangangailangan talaga siya. I could never imagine wanting something to
eat and not have the money to be able to buy it.

"Dalhan mo ang nanay mo nito." Sabi ko.

"Huwag na, Wayne." Nahihiyang sabi niya.

"Tanya, lahat ng sasabihin ko susundin mo." I said in a calm voice. "Mag-uwi ka ng

ulam para sa nanay mo. She needs to taste how good this is."

She quietly nodded her head. Natapos na kaming kumain at niligpit niya ang
pinagkainan namin. I told her to just leave the dishes on the sink dahil pupunta
naman ang house keeper para linisin iyon bukas ng umaga. Pinalagyan ko rin siya ng
tinola sa plastic container para iuwi niya sa nanay niya.

Inaya ko siyang manood ng movie sa sala pagkatapos namin kumain. I let her pick a
movie on netflix and we both watched it. It was a girly chick flick movie, I didn't
even know how I was able to stand it. I yawned and let my head rest on her lap and
she mindlessly stroked my hair with her fingers as her eyes were glued on the tv. I
didn't know how she could do it. She quiets my mind just with her presence and she
cradles my angst just by her touch. She needed me but I needed her more. She was my
quiet comforter. My calm in this insane world.

Chapter Seven
Wayne's POV

I woke up with my head resting on a pillow and my body covered with a blanket. I
sat up, still half asleep but aware of my surroundings. Stretching my arms, I
looked around to find that I was alone.

"Tanya!" I called out her name but no one answered. Tanya wasn't there anymore.
She'd probably left while I was asleep.

I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep. I looked at the clock hanging on the
wall to see that it was already nine o'clock. Tumayo ako mula sa couch. My brows
furrowed when I saw a small stream of sunlight coming in through the slight parted
thick curtain that was covering the floor to ceiling window. Fuck! It was already
nine in the morning. I thought it was only nine in the evening.

I was about to get up when my phone buzzed. I reached for it on the side table next
to the couch. It was from a girl I gave my number to at some club but I didn't pay
much attention to that. I scrolled through my unread messages and a smile crept on
my lips when I saw her name.
Good morning, Wayne. Pasensya ka na hindi na ako nakapagpaalam sa'yo kagabi. Ayoko
na gisingin ka dahil ang himbing na ng tulog mo.

I was never a big fan of texting so I decided to call her. After just a few rings
she finally picked up the phone.

"Good morning, Tanya." I said.

"Wayne! Good morning." Her voice was a mixture of surprise and smile.

"Ano'ng oras ka umuwi kagabi?" I asked.

"Mag-aalas onse na." She answered.

"Jesus, Tanya. Sobrang late na nun. Sana man lang ginising mo ako para naihatid
kita sa sakayan." I shook my head. Wala naman kasing dumadaan na jeep, taxi o kahit
anong pampasaherong sasakyan dito. Everybody uses cars here. She'd have to walk a
few blocks to get to the nearest bus stop. "You walked all the way to the bus
stop?"

"Oo, hindi naman ganun kalayo." Sagot niya.

"Madilim na sa labas ng ganong oras. Paano kung may nangyaring masama sa iyo?" My
voice slightly raised.

"Okay naman ako. Nakauwi naman ako ng ligtas." She said in a timid tone. And I
scared her again. Great, just fucking great.

I sighed, trying to collect myself before I spoke in a gentle voice. "Just don't do
it again, okay?"

"Okay." Sabi ni Tanya. "Um, Wayne, kailangan ko na pumasok. Baka malate pa ako sa
klase."
"Ano'ng oras ang huling klase mo?"

"Eleven-thirty. Isa lang kasi ang klase ko ngayon pero twelve to eight ang shift ko
ngayon sa trabaho."

"Magkita tayo mamaya. I'll call you later."

"Sige." She said. "Salamat nga pala sa pinauwi mong ulam. Nagustuhan ni nanay."

I couldn't help but smile like a doofus while I leaned back to the couch. "Syempre,
luto mo yun."

"Kailangan ko na talagang umalis. Bye, Wayne." Paalam niya.

"Tanya..."

"Bakit?"

"Text me when you get to school so I know you got there safe, okay?"

"Okay." I could hear a hint of smile in her voice. "Bye, Wayne."

"Bye." I said before hanging up the phone. I wasn't sure why but I had the need to
protect her. Was it because she looked sweet, delicate, fragile, eternally nervous
and vulnerable? Damn it! This wasn't the sort of relationship I wanted. I hired her
so I could have someone to fuck without any commitment, expectation or emotional
investment. But her softness had tantilized me. Things were moving in a direction I
hadn't plan for. She captured something inside me, she woke up something inside me.
She made me feel things. And I couldn't deny that or push it away.

I got up and took a shower. I excitedly checked my phone after getting out of the
bathroom. Napangiti ako ng makita ko ang pangalan ni Tanya sa screen ng phone ko.

Nasa school na ko, Wayne. :)

Tanya's POV

"Hoy, Tanya Helaine Andrada!" Nag-angat ako ng tingin mula sa phone na hawak ko ng
marinig ko si Edna. Naglalakad siya palapit sa akin na may malapad na ngiti sa labi
at huminto siya sa harap ko. "Ikaw nagtatago ka na ng sikreto sa akin ngayon!"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Wala naman akong tinatago sa'yo."

"Wala? Eh sino yung nagsundo sa'yong lalaki." Pumamewang si Edna.

"Si Wayne..." Mahinang sabi ko habang pinipigil ang ngiti ko. "Kaibigan ko lang
yun."

"Kaibigan? May kaibigan bang kung maka-kapit sa'yo akala mo tuko." Narinig ko ang
boses ni Luis mula sa likuran ko. Pareho kaming napalingon ni Edna. Walang kangiti-
ngiti sa mukha niya. "Dumating lang siya kagabi, iniwan mo na agad kami at sumama
ka sa kanya."

"May lakad kasi kami. Nawala lang sa isip ko." Dahilan ko.

"Sino ba talaga ang Wayne na yun ha? Ano mo siya?" Nakasimangot na tanong ni Luis.

"Kaibigan ko nga lang siya." Bumuntong-hininga ako. "Huwag na natin pag-usapan

'yun, pwede ba?"

"Saan kayo nagpunta? Bakit gabing-gabi na sumama ka pa sa lalaking yun?" Pilit niya
pa rin na tanong. Lalong lumalim ang kunot ng noo niya habang nakatingin sa akin at
naghihintay ng sagot ko.

"Kasi nga may importante kaming kailangan pag-usapan. Tungkol sa... sa scholarship.
May kakilala kasi siya na makakatulong sa akin, hindi ba sinabi ko na sa'yo yun
noon?" Pagsisinungaling ko. Hindi ko na nga mabilang kung ilang beses kong
kailangan magsinungaling hindi lang sa kanila kung hindi kay nanay din.
"At ano ang kapalit?" Makahulugan na sabi niya at tumaas ang isang sulok ng labi
niya na parang nang-uuyam.

"A-ano bang gusto mong palabasin?" Sabi ko at nag-iwas ng tingin. "Nagmamagandang

loob lang yung tao."

"Nagmamagandang loob?" Sarkastikong tumawa siya. "Porque ba nagmamagandang loob

siya may karapatan na siyang hawak-hawakan ka ng gano'n? O baka naman nasilaw ka na
sa pera o sa magarbong kotse ng lalaking iyon? Akala ko iba ka."

"Tama na nga kayong dalawa!" Awat ni Edna. "Baka kung saan pa mapunta ang usapan
niyong 'yan!"

I looked down, hurt at what he said. Pati ba si Luis na isa sa mga best friend ko
ipararamdam sa akin kung gaano ako kababang babae? I felt a lump on my throat
habang pinipigil ko ang luha ko. Tumalikod na ako at walang salitang nagpunta ako
sa klase ko. Umupo ako sa bakanteng upuan sa likod. Naramdaman kong nag-vibrate ang
phone ko mula sa bag ko at inilabas iyon. Parang nabawasan ang bigat ng dibdib ko
ng makita ko ang pangalan ni Wayne.

Good. Just got out of the shower and am getting ready for school. See you later.

Hindi ko naiwasan ang mapangiti ng mabasa ko iyon. Simpleng message lang pero bakit
ganito ang nararamdaman ko? I texted him back:

Ingat papuntang school.

Ipinasok ko na ulit sa bag ko ang phone ko at humugot ng malalim na hininga. Kahit

kailan hindi ko naman hiniling na sana naging mayaman ako. Pinalaki ako ng nanay na
kuntento sa buhay na meron kami. Basta ba nakakain kami ng tatlong beses sa isang
araw at may natutulugan kami masaya na ako. Pero bakit ngayon gusto kong hilingin
na sana magkapantay na lang kami ni Wayne? Sana wala ako sa sitwasyon na ganito at
sana hindi ako nanliliit sa sarili ko tuwing kasama ko siya. Oo, maayos ang trato
sa akin ngayon ni Wayne at hindi niya ipinararamdam sa akin na binabayaran niya
lang ako pero kahit magkunwari ako na normal ang kung anuman 'tong relasyon namin
dalawa, I know where I stand in his life. Pang-palipas oras niya lang ako.
Libangan.
Naramdaman kong nag-vibrate ang phone ko ulit at kahit ayaw ko man, hindi ko
napigilan ang sarili ko na kunin iyon mula sa bag ko. Katulad ng inaasahan ko
galing ulit kay Wayne ang message.

Sure. Para sa'yo mag-iingat ako. ;)

I found myself replying to his message:

Have a nice day :)

Makalipas lang ng ilang segundo nag-reply agad siya sa akin.

You too, angel. I have to drive. I'll text you when I get to school.

Lalong lumapad ang ngiti ko. Angel?

Drive carefully

At agad ulit dumating ang reply niya.

Will do. Text you later.

Sinagot ko ang text niyang iyon. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sa tuwing mag-uusap kami
ng ganito parang ayaw ko pa matapos iyon. Sana ganito din pagkaharap ko siya. I get
really nervous around him. I get so nervous that sometimes I couldn't even think
straight. My heart beats a little faster when he's around.

Sige. Ingat.

Nag-vibrate ulit ang phone ko.

Tanya, don't reply to this. I can't resist replying to you and I'm going to be late
for class.
Natawa ako ng mahina sa message niyang iyon. Makalipas ang ilang minuto nag-vibrate
na naman ang phone ko at patago kong binasa ang message niya.

I'm already at school. On my way to my first class.

Ayaw ko sanang magreply dahil naglelecture na ang prof namin pero hindi ko
napigilan ang sarili ko.

Lumabas na ako pagkatapos ng klase at nakita si Luis na nakasandal sa pader sa tabi

ng pinto ng classroom. Nagkatinginan kami. Agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin sa kanya
at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. Sumunod siya sa akin pero hindi ko pa rin siya
pinansin.

"Tanya, mag-usap tayo." Sabi niya habang naglalakad sa tabi ko. "Hindi ko sinasadya
yung mga na sabi ko kanina. Nabigla lang ako."

"Hayaan mo na muna ako." Binilisan ko ang paglalakad.

"Tanya, sorry na talaga." Hinarang niya ang sarili niya sa harap ko at hinawakan
ako sa magkabilang balikat para pigilan. Malamlam ang mga matang tinitigan niya
ako. "Nadala lang ako ng selos."

"Luis..."

"Oo, alam ko wala akong karapatan pero hindi ko kayang pigilan yun. Alam mo naman
matagal na akong may gusto sa'yo." Bumuntong hininga siya. "Mahal na kita, Tanya.
Hindi ba sabi ko naman maghihintay ako hanggang sa handa ka na? Hindi ako titigil
sa panliligaw sa'yo."

"Luis, kaibigan lang talaga ang tingin ko sa'yo. Makakahanap ka rin ng iba at alam
kong magiging maswerte ang babaeng mamahalin mo." Ngumiti ako sa kanya.

"Hindi ko kayang magmahal ng iba. Ikaw ang gusto ko. Ikaw lang." Malungkot ang
boses na sabi niya. "Gagawin ko ang lahat maging akin ka lang."
Wayne's POV

"Mr. St. Croix!" Our professor tapped her stick on my desk. My eyes averted from my
phone to look up at her. I quickly lowered my phone under my desk but I was sure
she saw it. "Are you paying any attention to what I was saying?"

"Of course, Mrs. Montoya." I said.

"Then what did I just say?" She cocked her brow at me.

"You were talking about, um, ah..." I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Hindi mo alam kasi hindi ka nakikinig. Puro text ang inaatupag mo." She sighed and
held her hand out. "Give me your phone."

I looked at my phone, not wanting to hand it to her. Damn it!

"Give. Me. Your. Phone." Ulit niya. With no choice, I let out an exasperated sigh
and handed it to her. "Kayong lima..." She pointed her stick at me, Nick, Axel,
Tristan and Wayne. "Kung ayaw niyong ibagsak ko kayo-"

"If you fail us again, you get us next semester." Axel said with a taunting smile.
We knew how much Mrs. Montoya hated us. She wouldn't want to have us again.

"Wala naman problema samin iyon. You're our favorite professor." Seth grinned.

Mrs. Montoya gave them both a scowling glare before looking at me. "You'll get this
back after class." Mariin na sabi niya bago tumalikod papunta sa desk niya.

"Sino ba yung katext mo?" Tristan whispered.

"Oo nga, kanina ka pa pangiti-ngiti d'yan. Para kang gago." Nick chuckled.

"Tangina! Pag ako nadamay d'yan ah. Maawa ka naman, dude, pag binagsak ako n'yan
gastos na naman yan. Laspag na laspag na katawan ko." Sabi ni Tristan and all of us
snickered quietly.

"Di ba enjoy ka naman sa trabaho mo?" Sabi ni Seth. "You get paid to shag MILFs."

"Damn ! Luck you, you get paid for fucking matured and experienced women." Axel
smiled, shaking his head. "I haven't had a pussy for three fucking days."

A sigh escaped my lips. I haven't had one since Tanya came into my life. I didn't
want else but her. I wanted her with an ache I couldn't even begin to understand.
But I knew I couldn't have her. At least not just yet.

After that class I got my phone back but unfortunately Tanya was already at work.
She said she couldn't use her phone anymore. God, why do I always want to talk to
her and be with her? It was something way beyond my control. I didn't know why I
was drawn to her. I just am. It was like those forces of nature that couldn't help
their attraction. They glom on to each other whether they like it or not. And that
was how it was when Tanya was near. She was the force I couldn't resist. And
lately, I haven't wanted to resist which was fucking scary.

____

Author's Note

Alam ko. Bitin na naman. Hahaha. Bukas o sa Sunday na lang yung susunod na update.
Pasensya na po sa mabagal na update. Busy lang talaga ako ngayon.

Chapter Eight
"Where do you want to go?" I asked while we were walking to my car with my hand on
the small of her back.

She looked up at me with a quizzical look. Tanya tensed when our eyes locked. I
gave her a warm smile to ease her discomfort but it only made her cheeks flush
pink, causing me to grin at how cute it was. Nahihiyang nag-iwas siya ng tingin.
She was just so blissfully unaware of how breathtakingly beautiful she was.

Her actions confuse me as much as it captures my curiosity. She seemed so unworldly

and uncorrupted, something I almost never saw in girls. It was surprising given her
job as a prostitute. She was very different from any woman that I had met. Her
grace was very unwhorish. When I first saw her, I had already felt an odd stirring
of protectiveness rise inside me. I tried to fight it because I didn't want to feel
any weakness toward her. But now I had fallen too deep into this unfamiliar rabbit
hole. As much as I wanted to fight it, I knew whatever it was that I was feeling
right now with her, I wanted more of it.

"Bahala ka." She answered in a shy voice.

"Palaging ako na lang ang nagdedesisyon. Ngayon gusto ko ikaw naman." I said.

Hindi pa siya nakakasagot ng makarating na kami sa harap ng kotse. I opened the

passenger's side door for Tanya and she nodded her head as a thank you with her
eyes still glued to the ground. Maingat siyang sumakay sa kotse at isinira ko ang
pinto nito. I went around to the driver's side, hopping in and starting the car.

"Alam mo na ba kung saan mo gusto pumunta?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

She shook her head. When will she warm up around me? Mabuti pa sa text messages
kinakausap niya ako. She was more relaxed and sweet when we talk over the phone.
But whenever I'm around she becomes a timid, shy and nerve racked girl. She seemed
so intimidated by my presence. I just wanted her to be more comfortable around me.

"Why don't you take me to your favorite place? Your favorite restaurant?" I
suggested.

She paused for awhile as if thinking before she spoke. "Baka hindi mo magustuhan
doon."

I smiled at her. "Try me."

I watched as Tanya brushed her fingers through her dark hair, tucking some loose
strands of it behind her ears. She had this quiet charm that always leaves you
wanting more. Everything she does makes me want her. Not in a sexual way but in a
way I just want to be next to her. Nothing more, nothing less. She picked up the
spoon and fork and was about to dig in to the food in front of her when she
suddenly paused and lifted her eyes up to me when she felt the weight of my stare.

When she saw me watching she shyly put down her spoon and fork and looked at me
with a worried look on her face. "Okay lang ba talagang dito tayo?"

"Yeah, of course." I gave her a reassuring smile. She took me to this outdoor grill
kiosk with white plastic patio chairs and tables around it where you could eat.
Umupo kami sa isa sa mga mesa pagkatapos namin umorder ng pagkain.

She gave me a weak smile before turning back to her food. It took all my willpower
not to get lost in watching her. I observed her in amusement. Her face, her
concentration, her shoulders then her hands. I could do this for hours. Everything
around us faded in the background, the noise, the people... she was all I could
see. I shook my head at the thought. I was a hopeless goner. Gone. Gone. Gone. I
never imagined I could feel this way for any woman

"How was work?" I asked, trying to start a conversation. Nag-angat ulit siya ng
tingin sa akin but I could tell that she was uncomfortable holding my gaze.

"Okay lang." She answered, barely audible. "Ikaw? Kamusta naman ang araw mo?"

"It was good... but then I picked you up and saw you and it made my day amazing." I
said, chuckling. I wanted it to sound like a joke but it wasn't.

Her cheeks turned pink as she lowered her gaze to the plate in front of her and
picked on her food with her fork to try to hide her embarrassment. Oh Tanya, you
never fail to amuse me.

"Madalas ka bang pumupunta dito?" Tanong ko. I was trying to make her more
comfortable.

"Dito kami pumupunta nina nanay at tatay kapag lumalabas kami o kaya sweldo ni
tatay." Her unguarded smile and the twinkle in her eyes took me by surprise. I
found myself smiling back. I loved the fact that she took me somewhere that was
really special to her. I felt like somehow she had let me in a special part of her
life. "Sa park malapit dito kasi sila unang nagkakilala noon kaya paborito nilang
lugar-" She paused as if retracting when she probably realized she was sharing too
much, she was letting her walls down.

Tahimik kaming kumain. Pagkatapos namin kumain naglakad kami sa park na sinasabi
niya.

"So, this is your parents' favorite place?" I asked to try to break the silence and
awkwardness between us.

She nodded her head with a bittersweet smile on her lips.

"What was your family like?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Bakit tinatanong mo sa akin yan?"

"I just want to get to know you," so I can justify this feeling I already have for
you. I didn't know how she became important to me or how I started caring about
her. It happened so suddenly that I didn't even know what was going on. My mind
wasn't able to keep up anymore. I didn't know how it went from she was a whore who
had given herself to countless men to she was different from any other women I had
ever met. "Magkwento ka tungkol sa pamilya mo.That's an order." I only see her
smile when she talks about her mother. Everytime I see her smile, all I could think
about was how I wanted to make her smile forever.

"Simple lang ang pamilya namin. Construction worker ang tatay noon at si nanay
naman nagtitinda ng banana cue sa tapat ng bahay namin, tinutulong ko din siya
magtinda kapag umuuwi ako galing sa eskwelahan." Nakangiting sabi niya. There was
that smile again, a smile that could melt your heart. "Kumakanta pa nga ako noon
habang nagtitinda para makaattract ng mga bumibili kahit hindi naman maganda ang
boses ko." She softly laughed and I felt something flip at the pit of my stomach.
It was the first time she ever did that with me. My heart felt like it was caught
in my throat and I had to remind myself to keep breathing. "Masaya kami noon kahit
minsan kapos kami sa pera nagtutulungan naman si nanay at tatay. Madalas sabihin sa
akin ni tatay noon na kung hindi man niya kayang ibigay lahat ng gustuhin ko,
ipinapangako niya naman na ibibigay niya sa akin lahat ng kailangan ko."

She took a deep breath and I saw a sudden pained expression on her face. As if the
life had suddenly been sucked out of her. "Hindi niya tinupad iyon. Ngayong
kailangan namin siya wala naman na siya. Iniwan niya kami."

I reached for her hand and she flinched. Tumingin siya sa akin. You could see the
quiet strength that was hidden within her whenenever you look at those beautiful
eyes. I stared back at her as if trying to tell her that I was here for her. Her
eyes softened and so did her hand. I interwined our fingers together and rubbed my
thumb on the back of her hand as we walked. Her skin against mine set off an
instant spark that ignited my whole body.

"Nasaan na siya ngayon?" I asked curiously.

"Wala na siya. Namatay siya sa aksidente sa construction site na pinagtatrabahuhan

niya." I could sense the sorrow in her voice that she was trying to hide.

"I'm sorry." Sabi ko.

"Wala yun. Matagal na naman 'yon. Minsan lang talaga hindi ko maiwasang magtampo sa
kanya dahil iniwan niya kaming dalawa ni nanay." She chuckled softly despite the
fact that her eyes were already watering. "Sobrang nahirapan kasi kami noong nawala
siya. Kung anu-anong trabaho ang pinasok ni nanay hanggang sa nagkasakit na siya.
Ngayon ako na lang ang inaasahan niya. Kapag nawala pa si nanay ako na lang ang
maiiwan mag-isa. Nahihirapan na ako. Natatakot ako." Her voice shook as she spoke
as she swallowed her sobs.

We stopped and I pulled her closer to me. Hinawakan ko siya sa magkabilang balikat
at hinarap sa akin. I watched as tears trickled down her cheeks and I wiped it away
with both my thumb.

"Shh, Tanya, listen to me. I'm here for you, okay? When you get scared look me in
the eyes and smile because I'm not going anywhere." I said in a gentle tone. I
thought my heart would crack, seeing her cry, seeing the pain and fear in her eyes
almost killed me. In a short time I had known Tanya, I knew that I had weakness for
her. I knew I liked her more than I should.

Dinala ko siya pabalik sa kotse ko na nakaparada sa hindi kalayuan at sumakay na

kami.We sat at the backseat of the car as I comfort her. Nakapulupot ang bisig ko
sa baywang niya habang nakahilig ang ulo niya sa dibdib ko.

"Maswerte ka nga may nanay ka pa. I have no one." I said as I stroke her hair.
"From the outside looking in, I know it looks like I have everything but I don't. I
may have everything I want but nothing I need."I took a deep breath as I felt my
chest tightened. Sitting next to her, I felt like there were no locks, no bolts, no
filter for my thoughts. With her, I felt like I could let my walls down. I could
tell her anything. "My parents seperated when I was just a kid. My mom moved to
Boston and started a new life there, a new family. Naiwan ako kay dad at nagkaroon
din siya ng bagong pamilya. Hindi ko naramdaman na parte ako ng bagong pamilya
nilang dalawa. Pakiramdam ko naiwan ako sa ere. Kahit buhay pa ang mga magulang ko
pakiramdam ko nag-iisa na lang ako. I just don't fit in their lives anymore. Nobody
wants me."

The corner of my eyes burned with tears. Damn! I had never let anyone see me in
this light before. It was the most I had ever opened myself up to anyone in my
life. For the first time, I was vulnerable. I was naked and exposed and not in the
way I was used to being naked and exposed. Naked to the soul.

I looked down to see her staring at me. In that moment, I felt like we had a
secret. Just her and I. I felt like we understood something no one elese would ever
understand.

She reached her hands up, putting it on both side of my face. Something about her
touch calmed me. Everything fell away as we looked into each others eyes and we
both became lost in a world of our own. Completely oblivious to our surroundings.
Her lips softly grazed mine. I crashed my lips harder to hers. I pulled her closer
but I still couldn't bring her close enough to me. I could feel her trembling in
my hold and I knew I was trembling too. I had kissed before but it was never like
this. It was different than anything I had ever experienced. Her lips parted in a
gasp when I sucked the bottom of it. I slid my tongue inside and interwined it with
hers. Her sweet scent filled my lungs with a delightful force and I could feel
every part of my senses reacting to the sensation. My hand swiped along the curves
of her body, it had all the softness and feminity I had ever dreamt about. My whole
world became centered to her. All I could think about was the kiss and how her body
felt against mine. And that even if I didn't know it until now, I had been waiting
for her all my life.

We were both panting when she pulled away from the kiss. We looked at each other
with glassy eyes, still tangled in each other's arms. I gave her a kiss on the
forehead before resting mine on hers. When I was with a girl, getting in her pants
was my top priority but it was different with Tanya. I just wanted to hold her for
as long as I could. This is where I truly feel comfortable, next to her. This is
where I was at peace. Sa kanya ko lang naramdaman ang ganitong katahimikan. I no
longer felt like a rough ocean, I was a smooth river flowing gently to the path
that was created for it.

Chapter Nine
Tanya's POV

Hanggang ngayon na na nakauwi na ako sa bahay para pa rin akong nakalutong sa ulap.
Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na ako ang unang humalik sa kanya. Hindi ko na
napigilan ang sarili kong gawin iyon ng makita ko kung gaano kalungkot ang mga mata
niya. Hinalikan ko siya kasi gusto kong mabawasan kahit konti man lang ang sakit na
nararamdaman niya. Alam ko ang pakiramdam na parang nag-iisa ka na lang habang
buhat mo sa balikat mo ang bigat ng buong mundo. Hinalikan ko siya dahil iyon ang
pakiramdam kong tamang gawin ng mga oras na iyon.

"Tanya." Nagulat ako at nagising mula sa malalim na pag-iisip ng marinig ang boses
ni nanay. Lumingon ako sa pinto ng kwarto kung nasaan siya nakatayo. "Ikaw bata ka,
kanina pa kita hinihintay. Dumadalas na yata ang pag-uwi mo ng gabi."

Lumapit siya sa mesa kung saan ako nakatayo at nagmano ako sa kanya. "Pasenya na,
nay. Gumawa kasi kami ng mga kaklase ko ng project." Inilapag ko ang plastic bag na
hawak ko sa mesa at inilabas ang mga gamot niya. "Nakabili ko na ang lahat ng gamot
na nireseta sa inyo ng doktor at saka nabayaran ko na din si aling Moning."

At ito, ito ang humahatak sa akin pabalik sa realidad. Ang perang ibinabayad sa
akin ni Wayne. Parang isang masakit na sampal sa mukha ko iyon pero hindi ko kayang
tanggihan iyon. Kailangan ng nanay ang mga gamot niya, kailangan ko iyon para may
makain kaming dalawa, kailangan kong mabayaran ang renta namin, kailangan ko yun
pangtuition.

"Saan ka ba nakakakuha ng pera?" Seryosong tanong niya habang nakatitig sa mga mata
ko.

Nagbaba ako ng tingin dahil alam kong hindi ko kayang magsinungaling habang
nakatingin sa kanya. "Nangutang po ako sa mga kaibigan ko."

"Tanya, anak, hindi mo naman kailangan gawin iyon." Bumuntong-hininga siya.

"Magkakabaon-baon lang tayo sa utang. Bakit hindi mo na lang ako hayaan na
mamasukan bilang kasambahay-"

"Nay, napag-usapan na natin yan. Hindi po ako papayag na magtrabaho kayo lalo na
ngayon na may sakit pa kayo."

"Kaya ko pa naman. Kaysa naman nandito lang ako sa bahay."

"Mabuti yun para sa'yo, nay. Magpahinga ka na lang dito sa bahay. Hindi po dapat
kayo napapagod."

"Ayaw ko lang kasing nakikita kang nahihirapan."

"Hindi naman po ako nahihirapan at saka malapit na akong makapagtapos." Malambing

na niyakap ko siya mula sa likod niya at ipinatong ko ang baba ko sa balikat niya.
"May awa ang Diyos, nay. Matatapos din ang lahat ng paghihirap natin. Pag nakahanap
na ako ng magandang trabaho hindi na natin kahit kailan poproblemahin ang pera.
Bibili ako ng malaking bahay para sa'yo at hindi mo na kailangan gumawa ng kahit
anong gawaing bahay dahil kukuha din ako ng kasambahay para sa'yo."
Natawa si nanay. "Ang batang 'to." Naiiling-iling na sabi niya bago idinantay ang
ulo niya sa akin. "Hindi ko naman kailangan ng mga iyon. Wala akong ginusto kung
hindi ang maging maganda ang buhay mo."

Pagkatapos namin mag-usap ni nanay nagbanlaw ako ng katawan sa banyo. Pagpasok ko

sa kwarto saktong tumunog ang cellphone ko mula sa backpack ko. Binuksan ko iyon at
nakita ang pangalan ni Wayne. 5 text messages and 1 missed call. Tumunog ulit iyon
habang hawak ko. Tumatawag siya sa akin pero tinitigan ko lang iyon. Parang hindi
na kasi tama itong nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Hindi normal ang relasyon namin
dalawa at hindi kahit kailan magiging normal iyon. Binabayaran niya ako para
makasama niya.

Habang lalo kaming nagiging malapit sa isa't isa lalong nahuhulog ang loob ko sa
kanya. Iyon ang ayaw kong mangyari. Ayokong maging komplikado ang mga bagay sa
pagitan namin. Ayokong mainvolve ang feelings ko. Para kapag hindi niya na ako
kailangan, hindi magiging ganon kasakit 'pag nawala siya.Pero iyon din ang mahirap
na gawin. Paanong hindi mahuhulog ang loob mo sa kanya? Pwede niyang gawin ang
kahit anong gusto niya sa akin pero mas pinili niyang respetuhin ako at itrato
bilang babae. Hindi niya ipinaramdam sa akin na bayaran ako.

Wala sa sariling niyakap ko sa dibdib ko ang cellphone na hawak ko ng matapos

magring iyon. Napakagat ako sa pang-ibabang labi ko, para nalalasahan at
nararamdaman ko pa rin ang mga labi niya sa akin.

Wayne's POV

I fell asleep with my phone in my hand, waiting for her to at least reply to my
messages. My phone was the first thing I checked as soon as I woke up. I went
through my messages and let out a sigh of relief when I saw Tanya's name.

Sorry ngayon lang ako nakapagreply. Nakatulog na agad ako kagabi paguwi ko.

I called her and after the second ring she picked it up.

"Morning, Tanya."

"Wayne." I heard her soft voice on the other end of the line. "Hindi ko nasagot ang
tawag mo kagabi, nakatulog na kasi ako paguwi ko."

"I understand. I just wanted to check on you and make you got home safe."

"Salamat."

"Tanya, I really enjoyed being with you last night."

"Ako din." She said. I could still feel her lips on mine, her scent filling me, her
warm skin against mine, the soft curves of her body. It was vivid, unforgettable. I
kept reliving the kiss in my mind over and over again.

"So, I'll see you later?"

"Sige." She answered. "Kailangan ko na bumalik sa klase."

After our conversation, I went on with my daily routine but my mind was with her.
She was all I could think about. It was as if everything I am now was tied up in
her. I was struck by my feelings for her and the fact that I had trusted her enough
to tell her all the emotions I had been keeping to myself. She was the only one who
really knew me, the only one I let in fully. She scares me because I told her thing
I never even knew I felt until I opened up to her last night.

I just wanted someone to fuck but now I got more than what I bargained for.

"Eugene's parents are out of town and he's throwing a party at his house. Sasama ka
ba sa amin?" I was cut off from my thought when I heard Seth's voice.

"When?" I asked.

"Tonight." He answered.

I already had plans with Tanya.

"Huwag mong sabihing hindi ka na naman sasama?" Sabi ni Phoenix.

"What are you up to these days anyway? Busy boning that chick, what's her name
again, Tanya?" Axel chuckled. A swirling mix of annoyance and protectiveness shot
through me.

"Shut the fuck up. Don't talk about her that way." My eyes narrowed at him.

"Calm the fuck down. I'm just asking." He shrugged.

"Hoy, tama na nga yan. Mamaya mag-awa pa kayo niyan. Dalhin mo na lang yung chicks
mo sa party." Tristan grinned at me.

I took Tristan's suggestion to bring Tanya with me to the party. I picked her up
from the fast food restaurant where she was working after her shift and went to
Eugene's. I parked my car in front of his house along with the other cars. I could
already hear the loud music from the outside.

We got out of the car and she walked nervously next to me.

"Wayne, ano'ng gagawin natin dito?" She asked.

"A schoolmate's having a party. We're just going to hang out with my friends for
awhile." I answered.

"Teka, okay lang ba 'tong suot ko?" She worriedly asked, looking down at what she
was wearing and so did I. A loose plaid blouse, a ragged blue jeans that hugged her
frame perfectly and a pair of old white sneakers. Her simplicity was what made her
different from all the girls I've met. Her simplicity was her beauty.

"You look perfect." I smiled. She shyly smiled back at me as a warm blush spread
across her face. My heart felt like it was slamming against my chest with just the
sight of her smile. How in the hell could I possibly feel this way about a woman? I
swallowed, trying to collect myself. "Come on, let's go in."

My hand crawled to the small of her back as we went in. The whole house was
crowded, full of people, smoke and the smell of beer. She inched closer to me as
we pushed through the crowd. I held her tight and kept her scent in my senses. It
made my head spin, my heart race, and my nerves tingle.
"Wayne, I thought you weren't going?" I saw Nick walking towards us with a bottle
of beer in one hand.

"I never said I wouldn't go." I said.

Nick turned his attention to Tanya. "Hindi mo naman sinabing may kasama ka pa lang
magandang babae."

Tanya answered him with a slight smile.

"Where are the other guys?" I asked, my fingers possesively clutched on Tanya's
waist tighter.

"They're by the pool. I was just heading there." Sabi ni Nick bago tumalikod. We
followed him out of the house and to the pool area. It was stuffed with people,
girls clad in tiny bikinis and men in trunks. I saw Seth and Axel sitting on the
patio sofa by the pool with two unfamiliar women in bikinis, one was sitting on
Seth's lap while he rubbed her leg, the other girl had her arms wrapped around
Axel's torso.

"Nandito na si Wayne." Nick announced before sitting at the edge of the pool. "I'm
getting in the pool. It's hot out here." And then he jumped in.

"Hey, lil Wayne." Seth said, barely looking at me, and turned his attention back to
the woman sitting on his lap.

"Hey, what are you doing here, I thought-" Axel suddenly stopped when his eyes
caught Tanya. A playful smile spread across his lips. "I see you got a beautiful
company tonight, huh? Hi, Tanya, how are you?"

I could feel Tanya tensing against me. She looked up at me, as if she was asking me
if she could talk to him. I subtly nodded my head.

"Um, okay lang." She answered quietly.

"Did you bring your swimsuit? I'd love to see you in a bikini." He said.

"Well, tough luck, she didn't bring any swimsuit." I answered with controlled
emotion, my eyes narrowing at him. He was my buddy but if that bastard even try to
put a move on her I would wring his fucking neck.

"Chill. I was just kidding." He chuckled.

We sat on the vacant sofa on the left, across from Seth who was now kissing the
girl that was sitting on his lap. Tanya uncomfortably kept her eyes down to avoid
looking at them.

"Get a room, you two." I said.

"You're just jealous because you're not getting any." Seth said with a laugh. "Are
you giving him any, Tanya?"

"H-huh?" Her eyes averted from Seth to me with confusion.

"Jesus Christ, cut it out, Seth." I snarled at him.

"So, you still haven't fucked yet?" Axel asked.

My body jerked and I threw a glare at Axel. "Don't use that word in front of
Tanya."

He grimaced at me, looking at me like I was going crazy. "What? Fuck? It's our
favorite word."

I was going to open my mouth to say something but I felt Tanya's hand gently
squeeze my thigh. I glanced at her, she was looking at me as if asking me to stop.
I let out a sigh and leaned back on the sofa.

"Hey, what's happening here?" Tristan asked, sitting down next to Seth. He was wet
and dripping, obviously from the pool.

"Um, Wayne, Mag-CR lang ako." She got up from her seat.

"Samahan na kita."

"Ako na lang. Kaya ko naman mag-isa." She said like she was in a hurry. Just as I
was about to get up from my seat she started walking away, and then I lost sight of
her through the crowd. I cussed under my breath.

"Huwag kang mag-alala hindi naman mawawala yun." Seth chuckled.

"Yun ba yung chicks mo? Maganda." Tristan said.

"Malala ka na." Axel said.

"What are you talking about?" My brows furrowed at him.

"Ang lakas ng tama mo kay Tanya." Natatawang sabi ni Seth.

"You're like a whole different person when you're with her." Sabi ni Axel.

"Whatever I'm gonna go find her." I shook my head in annoyance before getting up
from my seat.

Tanya's POV

Nakipagsiksikan ako sa mga tao papasok sa bahay at huminto ako sa isang sulok kung
saan hindi masyadong matao. Hindi ko alam kung uuwi na ba ako ng hindi nagpapaalam
kay Wayne o babalik ako. Namumukhaan ko ang isa sa mga kaibigan ni Wayne, yung
huling lalaking dumating kanina. Nakikita ko siya minsan sa compound, siya 'yun,
hindi ako pwedeng magkamali. Hindi kami magkakilala at hindi kami nag-uusap, hindi
ko alam kung namumukhaan niya rin ba ako.

Nakaramdam ako ng takot sa dibdib ko. Paano kung sabihin ni Wayne sa kanila kung
ano talaga ako? Paano pag nalaman 'to ni nanay? Sinubukan ko munang kalmahin ang
sarili ko at i-clear ang isip ko. Baka naman magalit si Wayne sa akin kapag umalis
ako ng hindi ko sinasabi sa kanya. Nakita ko ang isang mesa kung saan nakalagay ang
mga pagkain at inumin para sa mga bisita at lumapit ako doon para kumuha ng
maiinom. Inabot ko ang baso sa tabi ng punch bowl pero bago ko nahawakan iyon ay
biglang may kumuha nun.

"Sorry, nauna ako." Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa nagmamay-ari ng kamay na iyon.

Ngumiti siya sa akin bago umismid. Siya yung lasing na babae sa club, yung ex ni
Wayne na gustong makipagbalikan sa kanya. Maganda ang mukha niya, parang yung mga
modelong makikita mo sa magazine. Wala kang maipipintas sa itsura niya. "I'm
Margaux. What's your name?"
"Tanya." Maikling sagot ko.

Tinitigan niya ako mula ulo hanggang paa. Gusto kong mangliit sa paraan ng
pagtingin niya sa akin na para bang sinusukat niya ang buong pagkatao ko. "I can't
believe this. What was he thinking?" Tumawa siya ng mahina. "Where did you buy
your clothes at a thrift store?"

Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa sahig at nakaramdam ng hiya. Lahat ng mga taong nandito
puro magaganda at halatang mamahalin ang mga damit na suot, kung ikukumpara ang
suot kong damit sa kanila, magmumukha akong basahan.

"I'm just kidding." Sabi niya habang kumukuha ng juice mula sa punch bowl. "Wayne's
friend is my friend." Pagkatapos ay inabot niya sa akin ang baso. Sandali kong
tinitigan iyon bago nag-angat ang tingin ko sa kanya. "Here you go, take it."
Nakangiting sabi niya.

Umangat ang kamay ko para kunin iyon pero bigla niyang itinapon ang juice sa damit
na suot ko. Napatili ako at bumaba ang mga mata ko sa basang blouse ko.

"Ang clumsy ko talaga. I'm so sorry." Natatawa at parang nangungutyangs sabi niya.

"Margaux!" Narinig ko ang boses ni Wayne mula sa likod ko.

Biglang nawala ang ngiti niya. "Wayne..."

"What the hell did you do?" Galit ang boses na tanong niya bago tumingin sa akin.

"M-my hand slipped." Parang natatarantang sagot nito.

"Hindi niya naman sinasadya." Sabi ko kahit alam kong sinadya niya iyon. Para
maiwasan na lang ang gulo. Madali na lang naman laban 'to.

"Are you okay?" May pag-aalalang tanong niya. Pinilit kong ngumiti at tumango ako.
Kinuha niya ang kamay ko. "Let's go. We'll get you changed."

Hinatak niya ako paakyat sa hagdan at papasok sa isang kwarto. Sinara niya ang
pinto at nilock iyon. Rinig pa rin ang ingay mula sa kasiyahan pero hindi na ganon
kalakas. Hindi na nakakabingi. Binuksan ni Wayne ang ilaw. Umikot ang paningin ko.
May isang kama sa gitna ng kwarto, isang flat screen tv sa may bandang paanan nito,
sa kaliwana naman makikita ang isang salamin na pinto na magdadala sa'yo sa
terrace. Nagulat ako ng hubarin ni Wayne ang suot niyang hoodie at naiwan na lang
ang itim na sandong suot niya sa loob nun. Inabot niya sa akin iyon pagkatapos.

"Hubarin mo na yang damit mo baka magkasakit ka pa."

"Salamat." Sabi ko. Tinignan ko lang ang damit na hawak ko. Kahit nakita niya na
ang katawan ko noon hindi ko pa rin ako komportableng maghubad sa harap niya.
Siguro naramdaman niya iyon at tumalikod siya.

"Lalabas lang ako sa terrace. Puntahan mo na lang ako dun pagtapos mo." Sabi niya
sa akin bago binuksan ang pinto ng terrace. Pinanood ko siyang lumabas doon at ng
maisara niya na ang pinto isa-isa ko ng tinanggal ang butones ng blouse ko. Hinubad
ko ang basang damit ko at sinuot ang hoodie ni Wayne. Malaki iyon sa akin. Lagpas
pa sa dulo ng mga daliri ko ang manggas at umaabot hanggang sa kalahati ng mga hita
ko ang haba nito. Naiwan din doon ang pinaghalong natural na amoy niya at ang
mamahaling cologne na gamit niya. Napayakap ako sa sarili ko at humugot ng malalim
na hininga. Parang nararamdaman ko pa rin sa damit niya ang naiwan na init mula sa
kanya.
Tumingin ako sa pinto ng terrace kung nasaan siya at napabuntong-hininga. Hindi ko
na kayang itanggi sa sarili ko na may nararamdaman na ako para sa kanya. Hindi
naman siguro masama iyon,hindi naman ako umaasang ganon din ang maramdaman niya
para sa akin. Alam ko naman kung ano ako sa buhay niya.

Naniniwala akong mabuting tao si Wayne kahit hindi iyon ang gusto niyang ipakita sa
mundo at sa mga tao sa paligid niya. Nakikita ko sa mga mata niya ang totoong siya.
Inside, he was a lost little boy who wanted to feel loved. Sa tuwing titigan ko
siya sa mga mata niya gustong kong sabihin sa kanya na hindi niya kailangan itago
ang kahinaan niya, na malaya niyang ilabas sa akin ang totoong siya. Sana kaya kong
sabihin sa kanya iyon.

Dahan-dahan akong naglakad papunta sa pinto ng terrace at binuksan iyon. Nakita ko

siyang nakasilip sa malaking telescope sa harap niya, tinitignan ang mga bituin
doon.

"Wayne." Mahinang tawag ko.

Wayne's POV

"Tanya, you have to look at this." I tore my eyes from the telescope and faced her.
I held my hand out, inviting her to look through it. She smiled and walked to the
telescope. I adjusted stand to her eye level so she could peep through it. She was
in front of me, standing in between my arms.

"Ang ganda." She gasped like an amused little girl.

"Yeah..." I agreed as I looked at her face. Right in front of me was beauty in its
purest form.

She removed her eyes from the telescope's eyepiece and turned her head to me, our
face only inches apart. I saw the entire galaxy in her eyes. People look at me and
think that I'm okay but when she looks at me I feel like she could see the darkest
corner of my mind.

Maybe Axel was right, I was a whole different person when I'm with Tanya but I like
who I become when I'm with her. I found my peace and sudden happiness beside her. I
was captive to how she makes me feel and the way just being with her can induce
temporary amnesia about the world outside. The rest of the world fades away when I
look at her. It feels like there was only us, like we were inside a bubble. Inside
the bubble, we didn't need to speak, we have our own language. We speak with our
hearts better than with our mind. Outside the bubble was everyone else.

I knew I had come undone the day I met her.

Somehow, I felt like I had fulfilled a part of me that seemed to be missing. She
soothes the restlessness within me. She made me feel... whole. She was the only
person who had made me feel complete and I knew she's the only one who ever will.
Most people would think they had found their soulmates. I know this would sound
silly but I think I had found the other half of my soul. It felt like Tanya and I
were one soul in two bodies. Maybe, somewhere in our past life we had accidentally
seperated. She was a part of me that wandered off once but now we had found each
other again.

Chapter Ten
Wayne's POV

We decided to go to Tristan's after our last class for the day. Exam was over and
we needed the evening to relax and recharge instead of going out to party. That,
and Nick and Tristan were broke as a joke after paying for their tuiton so they'd
be able to take the exam. And I didn't want to go out anyway. It gets tiring; cheap
women, loud music, hard liquor... same old, same old.

We took turn playing video games. I was absently watching Nick and Seth play while
Tristan and Axel were talking about something I wasn't really paying attention to.
My mind was elsewhere. Damn! It had been a full week since the last time Tanya and
I saw each other. She asked if it was alright if we don't see each other for
awhile. Sabi niya kailangan niya ng konting panahon para makapag-aral para sa exam
at ayaw niyang ng distraction. She needed to study so she could qualify for the
scholarship for next semester. I had no choice but to say yes but not seeing her
for days was starting to drive me mad. We'd text now and then, see how we were
doing then she'd stop replying after the 'how are you's. Damn! Not being able to
see her or talk to her was starting to drive me mad.

I went out of Tristan's apartment to get some fresh air. I stood by the railings
from across Tristan's door and watched the people down below. Borrowed a cig from
Tristan before I went out, put it in between my lips and lit it up. I wasn't much
of a smoker as compared to him, actually I wasn't at all, I get by with a stick a
month or maybe none at all but right now, I felt like I needed one.

I could say that Tanya and I had a special understanding. There was a connection we
both shared but didn't exactly understand. It had always been there since the
beginning. I didn't believe in love at first sight but I was starting to believe
that a very few people, if they were lucky, they might meet someone who would make
sense of their existence. I guess I was one of the luckies.
Since the party, she started to ease up at me. It didn't happen all of a sudden. It
wasn't like a floodgate gushed open. We take it easy. Easy and slowly,... like a
child learning how to walk. Sure, she was still shy and soft and gentle but I
thought it was just her nature. Now we could casually talk. We play board games
everytime we hang out at my place. She even tutored me for my exam the last whole
week we spent with each other. I hated algebra with a passion, if it weren't for
Nick, I wouldn't be able to pass it last semester. Siya ang pinakamagaling sa math
sa amin at sa kanya kami kumokopya tuwing may test at exam. She was very smart, she
takes a few advance classes, I found out that I was two years ahead of her and felt
embarrassed that she was the one tutoring me. She said I was smart and I catch up
fast, I just lacked focus and attention. I answered most questions in the exam
without needing to copy to Nick and I was confident that I'd pass it.

I saw her, her slender and delicately beautiful form walking smoothly. Even from up
here, I knew it was her. That form, the way she walks, her long hair, she was all
too familiar to me. I would know if it was her even if she was ten miles away. I
blinked. Damn! Maybe I was just imagining her. I think about her all the time and I
was starting to imagine her. This wasn't healthy anymore. I blinked again, she was
still there. She went up the left building, went and I saw her walking to the open
air corridor on the second floor. Got her keys from her bag and opened the fourth
door.

I hurriedly went down the stairs, to go to the left building. I needed to see her.
I needed to know that it was really her and that I wasn't losing my mind. I went up
the second floor and stopped in front of the door where she went in
I had to knock four times before someone answered and opened the door. A petite
older lady stood in front of me. She didn't exactly looked like Tanya but she had
that same fragility that Tanya had. Her eyes were big and deepset, giving her a
look of exhaustion and weariness. She looked sickly, thin and pale but right away,
she had a welcoming warmth about her.
"Hi." I croacked out.

She smiled at me and lines of crow's feet appeared on the corner of her eyes.
"Magandang gabi. Ano'ng kailangan nila?"

"Dito po ba nakatira si Tanya?" I asked.

"Ah, si Tanya. Kaklase ka ba o katrabaho ng anak ko?"

I paused for a second, thinking of what to answer her and then sighed. "Magkaibigan
po kami."

"Ganun ba? Halika, pasok ka." She opened the door wider and I slowly stepped in. I
felt kind of nervous(?) and a bit guily, I knew I was breaking an unspoken rule
between us. She wouldn't want me to meddle with her personal life. The thing
between us was pure business. She needed my money, I needed her company. It was as
simple as that. Stepping into her personal life will make it complicated between us
but I couldn't help it. I was hungry for the knowledge of her.

Their apartment was as big as Tristan's. They had an old floral couch where she
made me sit and a small radio on the table beside the couch that played old music.
Their house smelled of fresh bedclothes and lilac, it was as welcoming as the old
lady was.
"Ano nga palang pangalan mo, hijo?" Tanong niya.

"Wayne po." I politely answered.

"Ikinagagalak kong makilala ka." Nakangiting sabi niya. "Sandali at tatawagin ko

lang si Tanya sa kwarto niya. Kakauwi lang kasi niya sa trabaho at nagbibihis pa."

I smiled, nodding my head.

She walked to the door to the left and knocked. "Tanya, anak, dalian mo d'yan at
may bisita ka."

Not a moment later, the door swung open and there stood Tanya in a pale green
duster dress. "Sino pong-" She stopped, mid-sentence when her eyes landed to me.
Her eyes widened and her face paled like she'd seen a ghost.

"Hi." I stood up from my seat, giving her a smile.

She looked at me poker-faced. There was silence, not a comfortable silence but an
awful, erie one. "A-ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?"
"I just thought I'd stop by to say hi." I still managed to pull off a smile even
thought I knew she wasn't too happy to see me.

"Sandali at titignan ko lang ang niluluto ko." Her mother excused herself and went
inside through the cloth that acted as a door to the kitchen.

Tanya slowly walked to where I was standing and we both sat down the couch.

"Paano mong nalaman na dito ako nakatira?" Tanong niya.

"May kaibigan ako nakatira sa building katabi nito. Nakita kita kanina." I quietly
said.

"Wayne," She shifted and faced me with deep worry in her face. "Ipangako mo sa akin
na hindi mo sasabihin kay nanay ang tungkol sa atin. Wala siyang alam tungkol doon.
Hindi niya pwedeng malaman..."

"I won't, I promise." I soothingly said, holding her hands in mine.

She showed slight relief on her beautiful face and let out a smile. "Salamat."

"I just wanted to see how you were doing." My lips lifted upwards.

"Luto na ang ulam." Her mother suddenly popped her head out from the cloth and her
hands quickly slipped away from mine. Her face reddening in embarrassment only
underlined her innocence. "Kumain na tayo at ayain mo na din ang kaibigan mong
saluhan tayo sa hapag-kainan."

"It's alright. Paalis na din naman ako." I said. I had already stepped over the
boundary we had set between each other and I didn't want to bother them anymore.
"Masarap ang adobo ni nanay, sigurado akong magugustuhan mo yun." Tanya flashed a
warm, inviting smile at me. The kind of smile that made me want to drop to my
knees. "Kumain muna tayo bago ka umuwi. Tikman mo lang." I couldn't pass the offer,
not when she was smiling at me like that. I knew it would be good. The aroma of it
was starting to fill the whole house, making my mouth water.

They invited me to their table. A small foldable table with four chair and sitting
on top of it was a big bowl of rice and a caserole of mouth watering adobo. I sat
on the seat next to her and across from her mother.

It was the best tasting adobo I had ever tasted and believe me when I say I wasn't
exaggerating it.

"I thought nobody could cook better than you, Tanya, but boy, was I wrong." I said
before bringing another spoonful to my mouth.

Her mother threw us a funny look, looked at me and her, and then smiled. Her name
was Esther, okay lang daw na tawagin ko siyang tita Esther. When I first saw her, I
thought she was a quiet woman. Given her fragile and gentle appearance but turned
out she was chatty and was more than willing to share stories about their life. She
told me how when Tanya was little they would sell bananacues together after school.
How deeply Tanya loved her father and how hurt she was when he died. She proudly
shared to me all of Tanya's achievements; her winning the spelling bee and math
contest, her article being published on the school newspaper, graduating a
valedictorian in elementary and a salutatorian in highschool. She obviouly loved
and adored Tanya. It was as if she knew everything about her daughter, well, expect
one.

Tanya was beautiful and smart, she was exceptinal. A real shame how poverty could
push a beautiful, intelligent, talented young woman to prostitution. I wished our
paths crossed before she was even listed in the blue book. I could've helped her. I
could've done something.

"Maganda ang anak ko, hindi ba?" Tita Esther asked with a smile on her face as she
looked at her.
She blushed. "Nay, naman!"

"She is. ." I agreed, nodding my head and turning my head to her.Our eyes met she
blushed even more and lowered her eyes to her plate.

"Maraming nanliligaw d'yan pati na ang kaibigan niyang si Luis. Pinakiusapan niya
ako noon kung pwede bang umakyat ng ligaw kay Tanya." She said. My teeth grithed
when I heard his name. "Sabi ko wala naman masama dahil nasa tamang edad na siya
basta ba mabuti ang intensyon nila sa anak ko."
"Nay, kailangan niyo na pong inumin ang gamot niyo." She got up and went to get
something from the cupboard.

"Hindi naman ako magagalit kung magkakanobyo siya basta ba ipapangako ng nobyo niya
sa akin na hindi niya lolokohin at sasaktan ang anak ko. " She looked at me
intensely, as if implying something. As if the words were for me.

"With a beauty like hers, tanga lang ang mangloloko at mananakit sa kanya." I
said.She smiled at me, I smiled back at her and it was as if a silent agreement had
been made, a promise. And I intend to keep that promise.

Ibinaba ni Tanya ang ilang bote ng gamot sa mesa sa harap ni tita Esther. "Nay, ito
na po ang mga gamot niyo."

She took a pill from every bottle and there were eight of them. She downed them all
down in one swallow and with a glass of water. I gazed at Tanya, she turned her
head to me and quickly and embarrassingly looked away when our eyes locked.

"Pumasok na po kayo sa kwarto niyo nang makapagpahinga na kayo." She said after
tita Esther emptied her glass of water.

"Nakikipagkuwentuhan pa ako kay Wayne at saka maghuhugas pa ako ng pinagkainan

natin." She said.

"Ako na po ang maglilinis dito sa kusina. Magpahinga na po kayo." This time she
wasn't asking her, she was demanding.

"Pero hindi pa ako pagod."

"Nay, hinayaan ko na po na kayong magluto kanina. Kailangan niyo nang magpahinga.

Hindi ba sabi ng doktor hindi kayo pwedeng mapagod?" She put a hand to her hip and
raised her brows.
The older woman sighed. "O s'ya, s'ya." She said and walked out of the kitchen.

I got to my feet and started picking up the plates we used from the table. Tanya
quickly went up to me to get the plates from my hands but I didn't let her.
"Wayne, ako na 'yan." She tried to snatch it from me again.

"No, let me do this." I stubbornly said as I walked towards the sink.

"Hindi mo naman kailangan gawin ito saka bisita ka namin."

"I'm doing this because I want to." I smiled.

"Wayne, hindi talaga. Ako na ang maghuhugas niyan." She said and tried to push me
away from the sink but it was as if she was pushing a wall. I laughed, splashing a
water to her face and she let out a gasp. She looked at me shock for awhile before
she got a handful of water and splashed it to me too. We both laughed at each
other's silliness. After that she gave up and let me wash dishes. She stood next to
me, leaning against the counter as she watched me.

"Wala akong ibabayad sa'yo." Sabi niya. A chuckle rose up my throat.

"Don't worry I won't ask for money. Mag-iisip ako kung ano ang pwedeng ibayad mo sa
akin." "Gusto mong mag-uwi ng adobo?" She grinned.

"Hell yeah." I quickly answered.

She took out a plastic container and filled it with tita Esther's mouth watering
adobo. I was done with the dishes and she started drying it with a small towel
before putting it back the cupboard.

"You're mom's an amazing woman." I said, chuckling.She smiled, nodding her head.
"Pagpasensyahan mo na lang ang mga sinabi niya kanina."

"Everything she said is true. I don't understand why you have to apologize." I
shrugged. "I like your mother. She's awesome."

She laughed. "Mukhang gusto ka din niya. Hindi naman talagang natural na madaldal
si nanay pwera na lang kung gusto niya talaga ang kausap niya.""
"Why was I given a mother like Almira? I wish I had a mother like her instead." It
wasn't supposed to but it slipped out of my mouth.
Her smile disappeared, she just quietly looked at me. There she was again, looking
at me like she had read my soul, like she was digging into the deepest thought in
the darkest part of my mind. How I love and hate it at the same time. I tightly
shut my eyes, not wanting to give anything away.

"Bakit mo naman nasabi yan?" She asked. I shrugged my shoulders.

"You don't know my mother. She was..." I sighed."Ano?" She asked. She didn't sound
like she was just curious. She sounded like somebody who really cared. She sounded
like someone who was willing to carry some of my emotional baggage with her. She
brought me to the couch and we sat there. She waited until I was ready.

I took in a deep breath. "Almira was a drunk." I told her about my mother. I told
her how she would always drink herself senseless when I was a kid. Everybody
thought I had the perfect life. I grew up in a big house, was driven around by
luxury cars, went to the most expensive school in the Philippines, we had money
that could last us five lifetimes. Everything was just a front, they didn't know
what happens in our house. Dad was always out on 'business trips' with Bethany, his
business partner then and now his wife. Mom knew about it. It was the elephant in
the room, it takes up space but in silence. She never had the courage to bring it
up or talk to dad about it so she drowns herself in alcohol. And dad, don't get me
started with him. He believed a person should work for everything, including and
especially affection. He was a figure of authority but never a father to me. Back
to mom, she was a drunken mess. I never felt like I had parents, we had helpers,
lots of them, they tend to my needs but they couldn't give the affection parents
give to their children. In one of Almira's drunken rumbles, as I was putting her to
bed, she told me I was a burden to her. I was twelve then. "You're a burden to me,
do you know that? You are weighing me down. Love is a burden. People are goddamn
heavy, all of us. We're all bags of stones to people who loves us." And then a week
after that, she left. There was no goodbye, no note, no explanation. Just gone. She
went away and left her bag of stones, me. She started sending me letters after a
month and I never opened it. I ripped her letters to pieces and then burned them.
She abandoned me. I never forgave her for that and I never will.
I inhaled another deep breath to keep the tears at bay. Tanya hugged me. She took
me into her arms like a little boy. I closed my eyes. Ah, Tanya...

She was my little bubble, my safe place away from the world. She could turn a
nightmare into a dream. We fit perfectly into each other. My arms fit perfectly
around her waist and her hands completely on my shoulder. I liked the way we fit
together. I'd never fit with anyone the way that we did.She kissed my forehead,
lovingly.
I looked up at her and she smiled at me.
"Alam ko na kung ano'ng pwede mong ibayad sa akin." I smiled back at her.
Her brows furrowed, she looked confused.

"A kiss. Pay me with a kiss." I said.

Her eyes softened back down. Her eyes sees through me, straight into my soul and
claimed it as completely as she claimed my heart. She held my face into her hands
and pressed her lips on to mine. We kissed passionately, hungrily until she fell to
the couch and I on top of her. My tongue swiped over her bottom lip, with a moan
her mouth opened and I gladly slipped my tongue in.
My hand slipped up and down the soft curve of her body, finally stopping over her
chest. My hand molded perfectly over her breast as we kissed. I gave it a good
squeeze, making her moan into my mouth. It went down her side and further down to
her thigh. We forgot everything. We forgot we were in their living room, that her
mother was just a wall away from us. We were consumed by each other and nothing
else existed beside us.

My hand went up her dress and over to that little cotton that covered her sweet
pussy. I palmed her through her panties. She writhed under me, gently biting my
lower lip at the sensation. Taking a bold move, I pushed her panties aside. I
touched her hot and wet folds. It was soft and heavenly. I ran my finger up and
down her pussy, stopping at her clit. She froze for a second, I circled my finger
over her clit and that was all it took for her to kiss me back again. I massaged
her, slow at first but after awhile I started to pick up the pace. Our kiss became
deeper, hungrier. We were going wild, devouring each other's mouth. I brought her
to the edge and she shivered under me.

I love her. God, I love her. Even if the only witness to that love are the walls of
this room I knew it would never change and that was enough for now. I didn't care
about her past. I didn't care who was before me, how many they were, I just didn't
care. As long as there will never be any man after me. In a world consumed by
firsts, all I wanted was to be her last.

"Tanya." We heard her mother's door open, followed by her voice. Mabilis niya akong
tinulak mula sa ibabaw niya at nahulog ako sa sahig. Her mother's door was behind
the couch and it was impossible that she saw us. I layed flat on the ground as
Tanya fixed herself and sat up.
"Nay, bakit po?" Her voice quivered a little.

"Nandyan pa ba si Wayne?" Tanong niya.

"Umalis na po." She answered.

"I-lock mo na ang pinto at matulog ka na." Her mother said before going back in and
closing the door.

Chapter Eleven
Tanya's POV
Nakatingin ako sa whiteboard sa harap ko pero hindi pumapasok sa isip ko ang mga
nakasulat doon at ang sinasabi ng prof namin. Si Wayne at ang nangyari sa amin ang
umuukupa ng isip ko. Hinayaan ko siyang halikan ako at hawakan ako at hindi dahil
napilitan lang ako sa gusto niya. Pwede naman akong humindi kung gusto ko, pwede ko
siyang pigilan ng dumampi ang mga labi niya sa akin, nang ihiga niya ako doon. Pero
hindi ko nagawa dahil ginusto ko rin iyon.
Kahit kailan, sa tanang ng buhay ko, hindi pa ako nakakaranas ng ganong klaseng
emosyon. Noong hinalikan niya ako parang may kung anong kuryenteng dumaloy sa buong
katawan ko. Parang kami lang ang tao sa mundo, walang mahalaga kung hindi ang labi
niya sa akin at ang paglapat ng mainit niyang katawan sa katawan ko. Mahirap
ipaliwanag hangga't hindi ikaw mismo ang nakakaranas nun.
I have nothing to compare it to dahil siya palang ang tanging lalaking nakahalik sa
akin. Hindi ko alam kung ano itong nararamdaman ko o kung normal pa ba ito. Ang
alam ko lang kung ano man ito, lalong lumalalim ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.
Hindi siya katulad ng inaakala ko. Nirespeto niya ako bilang babae kahit na ang
alam niya bayaran ako. Kahit hindi naging maganda ang simula namin, alam kong may
magandang namumuo kung sa anumang meron kami ngayon. Ganun din kaya ang
nararamdaman niya o ako lang ang nakakaramdam nito?
"Tanya." Mahinang siniko ako ni Edna sa tagiliran dahilan para magising ako sa
malalim na pag-iisip.
"Bakit?"
"Halika na, dali na, nagugutom na ako." Sabi niya at hinatak ako sa braso. Hindi ko
napansin na tapos na pala ang klase.
Lumabas na kami ng klase, nakakawit ang isang braso niya sa akin habang naglalakad
kami sa corridor ng school at nakikipagsiksikan sa mga estudyanteng lumalabas na
din mula sa kani-kanilang klase.
"Nakakopya ka ba ng notes kanina? Ang hirap ng lesson sa literature kanina ah, may
essay test pa tayo next meeting." Sabi ni Edna.
"May test?" Gulat na tanong ko.
"Oo, yan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko. Hindi ka na naman nakikinig. Saan na naman ba
lumilipad ang isip mo? Pera na naman ba ang pinoproblema mo?"
"Hindi." Umiling ako. "Wala naman akong problema ngayon."
"Eh bakit parang lutang ka na naman kanina. Kilala kita 'no, alam ko kapag may
problema ka!"
"Wala nga." Natatawang sabi ko. Problema bang matatawag ang nararamdaman ko para
kay Wayne.
Ngumiti si Edna. "Ay, hindi nga problema 'yan! Iba na yan, Tanya!" Pabirong kinurot
niya ako sa tagiliran at lalo akong natawa. "Kinikilig ang lola ko! Ikaw ah, di ka
na nagshashare sa akin!"
Hindi ko magawang itago ang ngiti ko kay Edna kahit anong pigil ko.
"Siya ba ang dahilan ng ngiting yan?"
"Sino?"
"Nako, Tanya, wag ka ngang umarte-arte ng ganyan. Hindi bagay." Pabirong inirapan
niya ako. "Si Wayne, sino pa?!"
Lalong lumapad ang ngiti ko. "Ano ka ba? Magkaibigan lang kami."
"Sus, pang-showbiz yang sagot mo. Magkaibigan! Huwag mo nga akong pinagloloko. Sa
tingin at hawak pa lang niya sa'yo, alam mo ng may something." Sabi ni Edna habang
papasok kami sa cafeteria.
Pumila muna kami para bumili ng pagkain at nang makabili na kami, umupo kami sa
isang bakanteng mesa.
"So ano na nga? Mag-MU na ba kayo? Kayo na ba? Ano?" Pilit na tanong niya pa rin
habang tinutusok-tusok ang macaroni spaghetti na inorder niya ng tinidor.
Nababuntong-hininga ako. Hindi ko siya masagot dahil kahit ako hindi ko alam kung
ano ang meron kami ni Wayne. "Magkaibigan nga lang kami." May ganong klaseng
pagkakaibigan ba? May magkaibigan bang naghahalikan? Tanong ko sa sarili ko.
Pakiramdam ko nagsisinungaling ako kay Edna pero wala naman akong maisip na iba
pang pwedeng itawag sa kung anumang meron kami. Ayaw kong mag-assume dahil baka
pati ako maniwala kung sasabihin kong mas higit pa sa kaibigan ang meron kami
ngayon. Ayaw ko naman umasa. Alam ko naman kung ano at hanggang saan lang ako kay
Wayne.
"Pero Edna, naranasan mo na ba yung palaging sumasagi sa isip mo ang isang tao?
Tapos kapag iniisip mo na siya hindi na siya matanggal tanggal sa isip mo kahit
anong pilit mo?" Tanong ko dahil gusto kong malaman kung normal pa ba ito? Gusto
kong masiguro na hindi lang ako ang nakakaramdam ng ganito? I was confused because
this was all new to me.
"Sabi na eh!" Pinitik niya ang daliri niya. "Inlababo ka na! May magkaibigan-
magkaibigan ka pang nalalaman! Nek nek mo!"
"Normal lang ba yun?"
"Sa taong in love, malaking oo!" Sagot niya. "Ibig sabihin ba niyan, gusto mo na si
Wayne?"
Dahan-dahan akong tumango na medyo nag-aalinlangan pa.
"Hindi naman kita masisisi 'no! Kahit ako halos malaglag ang panty ko nang makita
ko siya saka ang ganda ng kotse niya ah!"
"Hindi ko naman siya nagustuhan dahil sa gwapo siya o dahil sa kotse niya." Mabilis
na sabi ko.
"Alam ko naman yun. Ilang gwapong lalaki at mayamang lalaki na ang nanligaw sa'yo
pero hindi mo sila pinansin pero bakit si Wayne? Bakit ang bilis mong nagkagusto sa
kanya? Bakit hindi kay Luis na ilang taon ng patay na patay sa'yo?"
"Alam mo naman na kaibigan lang ang tingin ko kay Luis." Napabuntong-hininga ako.
"Hindi ko din alam kung bakit si Wayne. Kahit ako nalilito pa din ako sa
nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Sa tingin mo, posible din kayang magkagusto siya sa
katulad ko?"
"Katulad mo? Bakit ano ba ka? Maganda ka naman, mabait, matalino! Kung lalaki lang
ako alam mo niligawan na din kita." Natatawang sabi sa akin ni Edna. "Kaya nga
hindi ko masisisi si Luis kung halos halikan niya na ang lupang tinatapakan mo."
"Grabe ka naman!"
"Speaking of the devil." Sabi niya habang nakatingin sa likuran ko. Pinihit ko ang
ulo ko sa direksyon kung saan siya nakatingin at nakita kong nakatayo doon si Luis.
"Hi, Luis. Upo ka."
"Hindi na. Nagmamadali ako." Malamig ang tonong sabi niya. Tumingin muna siya sa
akin, tinapunan ako ng kasing lamig na titig, bago naglakad palayo sa amin.
Nagkatinginan kami ni Edna.
"Narinig niya kaya tayo?" Tanong ni Edna.
Napakagat ako sa pang-ibabang labi ko, baka nga narinig niya kami. Ayaw kong saktan
si Luis dahil kaibigan ko siya. Kahit paulit-ulit kong sabihin sa kanya na hindi na
lalagpas sa pagkakaibigan ang relasyon namin, kahit sinasabi niya sa akin na
tanggap niya iyon alam kong higit pa sa pagkakaibigan ang gusto niya. Alam kong
umaasa pa din siya. Palagi niyang pinakikita at pinararamdam sa akin iyon. Walang
ginawa si Luis kung hindi maging mabuting kaibigan sa akin. Kahit totoo ang mga
narinig niya, he doesn't deserve to hear all those.
Tumayo ako mula sa kinauupuan ko at sinundan siya. "Luis." Tawag ko sa kanya ng
ilang hakbang na lang ang layo ko mula sa kanya.
Humarap siya sa akin. Walang bakas ng emosyon sa mukha niya. "Alam mo naman na isa
ka sa mga itinuturing kong best friend ko."
Tumawa siya ng mahina at parang sarkastiko. "Alam ko naman yun. Hindi mo na
kailangan paulit-ulit na ipamukha sa akin. Paano na lang kayo kung kasing gwapo at
kasing yaman ako ng mokong na iyon? Kaibigan pa rin ba ang magiging tingin mo sa
akin?"
"Luis, hindi naman importante sa akin iyon." Pilit kong ikinakalma ang sarili ko
kahit masakit na ang mga sinasabi dahil alam kong galit lang lang siya kaya niya
sinasabi iyon. Walang mangyayari kung sasabyan ko ang galit niya ng galit din.
"Hindi nga ba?" Tumaas ang isang sulok ng labi niya. Ibubuka ko pa lang ang bibig
ko para magsalita ng tumalikod siya sa akin at tuloy tuloy na naglakad palayo.
Tinawag ko siya pero hindi siya lumingon sa akin.
Wayne's POV
It was seven o'clock, the end of her shift. I had been sitting here on the booth
next to the window, waiting for her, when she got out of the staff's room already
wearing a light blue tee, a pair of denim capri pants, and her usual worn out white
sneakers. She smiled at me and I smiled back at her.
The memory of what had happened in her apartment overwhelmed all my senses. I was a
drowning man sinking under her spell more and more each day. Never had I planned to
get this close and to care this deeply for her but things just don't happen the way
you want it to. That night I realized that I love her. And for the first time in my
life I didn't feel threatened by those words. I didn't want to fight against what I
was feeling for her anymore.
I got to my feet as she stopped in front of me. "Hey."
"Hi." She softly spoke. "Kanina ka pa ba?"
"I just got here. Ready to go?"
She didn't ask where we were going. She just smiled and nodded her head. I knew she
was already starting to trust me and get comfortable with me. She knew I would
never do anything to her that she doesn't want.
It took me thirty minutes to drive to a quiet and secluded spot overlooking
Manila's skyline. It was peaceful and dark here, the view of the twinkling light
from the city's skyline looked beautiful from where we were. It seemed like the
rest of the world was far away, like stars in the sky. Tanya was my bubble, my safe
place away from the world and I'd like to keep it that way.
I leaned aginst my car and Tanya was leaning against me, with her back on my chest.
We were silent for awhile, just watching the world below us. I needed her here
beside me, always, to gently wash away the day by making me focus on nothing but
how she makes me feel. I wouldn't trade nights like this for anything else. I
wouldn't fill in the silence of our voices without anything but the sound of her
truth. I would never get tired of being filled by her.
"Yung nangyari sa bahay..." She fidgeted nervously and started playing with her
hands, a habit she has when she's anxious.
"I'm sorry I guess I got too carried away but I told you I'm not going to do
anything you wouldn't want me to do. Hindi magbabago iyon dahil sa nangyari."
"Bakit ginagawa mo ito?" She turned to face me.
"Ginagawa ang alin?" My brows furrowed.
"Bakit ganito ang trato mo sa akin? Alam naman natin pareho na..." She swallowed.
"Na bayarang babae ako. Pwede mong gawin kahit anong gusto mo sa akin."
nipped her chin between my thumb and forefinger and lifted her face up so she
could look at me straight in the eyes. "Tanya, I don't want to be a part of
something you will regret."
Her eyes watered as she forced a smile. "Wayne."
My head lowered to hers. She didn't move away or flinch. She just closed her eyes.
She wanted it too as much as I did. I kissed her and she kissed me back. I knew
from the way her lips softly graze against mine, from the slowness in exchange of
our breaths as we kiss, I knew because it felt natural and humble and clean. From
the moment our lips first touched, I knew that this was how it was meant to be.
Being beside her was how it was always supposed to be. I knew I was in love with
her.
You couldn't just fall in love with one part of the person and throw out the rest
that you don't want. I fell in love with the whole of her, the depth of her... I
learned that If you fall in love with someone, you love the broken part of that
person too, the fractured pieces. I fell in love with who she was before, who she
is now, all her struggles, her impurities, her regrets, her dreams. I fell in love
with what she was missing, what she had lost, and what she was still holding on to.
I fell in love with everything that makes up of her. When you fall in love, it
wouldn't make sense but you won't be afraid.
We were both panting for air when I released her. I pulled her closer against my
body and she rested her head on my chest. Now I understood how someone could make
you feel things you didn't know could be felt. Most people say they lose themselves
in a kiss but everytime we kiss, it was as if I had found myself the moment our
lips met. It felt like she took me apart and put me back together with that kiss.
"Tanya." I whispered. "I love you."
"Ano?" Tumaas ang ulo niya para tignan ako.
"Mahal na kita." I said.
"Wayne, ano ba yang mga sinasabi mo?" She let out a nervous chuckle before pulling
away from me. "Hindi magandang biro yan."
"Mukha ba 'kong nagbibiro?" My brows furrowed as I looked at her intensely.
She straightened, her face turned serious. "Alam mo ba kung ano ang mga sinasabi
mo? Alam mo kung ano ako. Bakit ka naman magkakagusto sa akin?"
"Bakit hindi? You're a woman and you deserve to be treated with love and respect."
"Wayne, baka nabibigla ka lang. Hindi mo naman kailangan sabihin yun, alam ko kung
hanggang saan lang ako."
I shook my head. "No, I'm sure of what I feel for you. I've never been this sure
about anything in my life."
"Hindi ako bagay sa'yo." She softly said, looking down at her feet.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Marami ka pang makikilalang babaeng-"
"No, don't try to convince me that there's more out there, you're all I want."
"Pero Wayne... Binabayaran mo lang ako-"
"Tanya, listen, I want to give you everything. When it comes to you I don't need
anything else but your presence. You mean more to me than money. I want to give you
everything you want and I don't want you to be afraid to ask for it."
"Bakit ako?" She looked completely bewildered.
"Ano'ng bakit? I don't know why! I love you for no reason except you happened to be
you." Those words exploded right out of my mouth before I could even realize what I
was saying. There was no turning back. I cupped her in my hands. "Tanya, I love you
without reason, without motive, without having to gain anything."
She avoided my gaze. "Ayaw kong magkasakitan lang tayo sa huli."
"I won't ever hurt you, Tanya. That's the last thing I would want to do." I softly,
gently and carefully said. I held her face firmer, pulling her eyes back to mine.
"Do you believe me?"
"Hindi ko alam." She softly said, almost inaudible. "Hindi ko alam kung ano ang
dapat kong maramdaman o kung ano ang sasabihin ko."
"Tell me you love me. Tell me you love me without consequences or doubts, without
holding back. Tell me and I'll believe you." I said, almost desperately.
She took in a deep breath, looking straight into my eyes. Her eyes were already
intoxicating without having to down a single drop of alcohol. I was drunk off the
way her gaze found me in all the right places. "I love you, Wayne."

_____
Guys panooring niyo yung video ni Wayne at Tanya sa taas. Ang cute! ^_^
Thank you thebookishbaby for making the awesome video!!!

Chapter Twelve
Tanya's POV
"I love you, Wayne." Those words flowed naturally from my lips. Hindi ko sinabi
iyon dahil iyon ang gusto niyang marinig, sinabi ko iyon kasi iyon ang totoong
nararamdaman ko. Kahit ano'ng tago ko hindi ko pwedeng itanggi ang nararamdaman ko
para sa kanya. Mahal ko na siya.
Ikinulong niya ang mukha ko sa mga palad niya at napilitan akong tumingin ng
diretso sa mga mata niya. Naramdaman ko ang pamumuo ng luha sa mga mata ko habang
nakatingin ako sa kanya. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang nararamdaman ko pero parang
gustong sumabog ng dibdib ko. Hindi nagsisinungaling ang mga mata niya. Pareho ang
mga sinasabi ng mga ito at ng bibig Nina.
"Promise me, ako lang." Halos pabulong na sabi niya. "Ako lang ang huli."
"Ikaw lang." Basag ang boses na sabi ko at bumagsak na luha sa mata ko. Sa mga oras
na iyon, alam kong siya lang talaga. Siya ang unang lalaking minahal ko at siya rin
ang huli.
Kasunod nun ay ang paglapat ng mga labi niya sa akin. Pinikit ko ng mariin ang mga
mata ko at tinugon ko ang halik niya. Kusang pumulupot ang mga bisig ko sa leeg
niya at kinabig siya. Naglapat ang mga katawan namin at ramdam na ramdam ko ang
init na nanggagaling sa katawan niya. Ramdam ko kung gaano kalambot ang mga labi
niya, ang hininga niya sa bibig ko, ramdam ko ang pagdaloy ng kuryente sa buong
katawan ko, ang lalong pagbilis ng tibok ng puso ko.
Mahal ko siya at mahal niya ako. Walang halong baka, walang halong bakit, walang
halong dahil. Iyon lang ang mahalaga ngayon.
Bumaba ang mga kamay niya sa baywang ko at maingat niya akong inangat paupo sa hood
ng kotse niya. Hinarang niya ang katawan niya sa pagitan ng mga hita ko at
ipinulupot niya iyon sa katawan niya. Naramdaman ko sa bahaging iyon ang
pagnanasang nararamdaman niya. Ang paglapat ng matigas na bagay na iyon sa
kaselanan ko, tanging ang mga telang suot namin ang humaharang dito. Ang hindi
maipaliwanag na init na nararamdaman ko mula doon, katulad ng init na naramdaman ko
noong hinawakan niya ako sa parteng iyon.
Hindi niya hiniwalay ang mga labi niya sa akin. May kumawalang ungol galing sa
bibig ko ng tumaas ang isang kamay niya at pumasok sa suot kong pang-itaas. Tumigil
ito sa ibabaw ng dibdib ko at kahit may tela pa sa pagitan ng palad niya at dibdib
ko nararamdaman ko pa rin ang init ng mga palad niya na parang tumatagos hanggang
sa kaluluwa ko. Marahan niyang hinaplos ang dibdib ko at bahagyang pinisil iyon,
lalo kong iniliyad ang katawan ko sa kanya na ngayon ay lunod na lunod na sa
kakaibang sensasyon na ipinararamdaman niya sa akin.
Ibinaba niya ang cup ng bra ko at parang may dumaloy na bolta-boltaheng kuryente sa
katawan ko ng hawak niya ang dibdib ko. He cupped my bare breast. Naglaro ang
daliri niya sa tuktok ng dibdib ko at lalong napaliyad ang katawan ko. Handa na
akong ibigay ang sarili ko sa kanya n g buong-buo kasama pati ang puso ko.
Pareho kaming nagulat ng may tumamang nakakasilaw na liwanag sa mukha namin.
Naghiwalay ang mga labi namin at pareho kaming napatingin sa liwanag. Isang
lalaking naka-uniporme na may na flashlight.
"Ano'ng ginagawa niyo dito? Private property 'to. Sa ibang lugar niyo na lang
dalhin yan." Sabi ng lalaki.
"Pasensya na, paalis na din kami." Kaswal na sabi ni Wayne habang inilalabas ang
kamay niya mula sa ilalim ng suot kong pangtaas. Parang gusto kong maglaho sa
sobrang hiya. Nakita kami ng lalaki. Ibinaon ko ang mukha ko sa dibdib niya.
"Sige, pagbalik ko dito, wala na kayo." Sabi ng lalaki bago umiling-iling. "Hay,
mga bata talaga ngayon..."
Wayne's body shook in silent laughter. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya at hindi
niya na napigil ang pagtawa niya. Pabirong pinalo ko siya sa dibdib at hindi ko na
din napigil ang mapangiti. Hinalikan niya ako sa noo bago niya inipit ang baba ko
sa mga daliri niya at inangat ang mukha ko para bigyan ng isang mabilis na halik sa
labi.
"Tara na." Bulong niya habang magkadikit pa rin ang mga labi namin.
Inayos ko ang panloob ko at inalalayan niya ako papasok sa kotse. He started the
car and we drove off. Hindi niya sinabi kung saan kami pupunta at hindi din naman
ako nagtanong. Hindi na ako natatakot sa kung anuman ang mangyari sa amin ngayong
gabi. Sigurado akong mahal ko siya at gusto ko na ibigay ang sarili ko sa kanya.
Huminto muna kami sa isang restaurant at umorder siya ng takeout. Nagulat na lang
ako ng ihinto niya ang kotse niya sa harap ng compound namin. Ang akala ko dadalhin
niya ako sa condo niya. Ipinarada niya ang kotse niya sa gilid ng kalsada at
lumabas. Naiwan ako sa loob ng kotse. I was confused. Binuksan ni Wayne ang pinto
ng kotse kung nasaan ako nakaupo at kinuha ang kamay ko. Pumasok kami sa gate ng
compound at umakyat sa apartment. Inilabas ko ang susi mula sa bag ko at binuksan
ang pinto papasok sa apartment namin.
"Tanya?" Narinig ko ang boses ni nanay mula sa kusina. Hinawi niya ang kurtinang
nakatabing doon at lumabas siya. Agad na huminto ang mga mata niya kay Wayne na
nakatayo sa likod ko.
"Good evening po." Magalang na bati niya.
Ngumiti si nanay. "May bisita pala tayo. Tamang-tama magluluto na ako ng hapunan.
Kumakain ka ba ng tortang talong?"
"May dala po akong pagkain." Sabi niya at inangat ang isang kamay na hawak ang
ilang plastic ng pagkain na binili niya kanina sa restaurant.
"Naku hindi ka na sana nag-abala." Sabi ni nanay.
"Binili ko po talaga para sa inyo 'to." Ngumiti siya. It made him looked more
charming. "Huwag na po kayong magluto. Ito na lang kainin natin."
Tinulungan niyang maghain si nanay ng mga plato at kutsara't tinidor sa mesa.
Pangalawang beses pa lang silang nagkikita pero magkasundo na sila. Nagbibiruan na
nga sila. Sabi ni nanay na kaya siguro siya bumili ng pagkain sa restaurant kasi
hindi niya gusto ang pagkain dito. Sabi naman ni Wayne nahihiya lang siyang pumunta
dito ng wala man lang dala.
"Sinundo ko lang po si Tanya kanina at namasyal lang kami. Magdidinner po sana kami
sa labas pero naisip ko na dito na lang kumain." Sagot ni Wayne habang kumakain na
kami. Tumingin siya sa akin at may naglalarong pilyong ngiti sa mga labi niya na
parang pinaaalala niya sa akin ang nangyari kanina. Nasamid ako sa nginunguya kong
pagkain at nagbaba ng tingin. Naramdaman kong nag-init ang magkabilang pisngi ko ng
maalala iyon.
"Umamin ka. Ikaw ba, Wayne, nililigawan mo ang anak ko o kayo na?" Biglang
sumeryoso ang boses ni nanay.
Muli akong nag-angat ng tingin. Wayne suddenly looked tensed at dinaan niya na lang
iyon sa tensyonadong tawa.
"Nay!" Gulat na sabi ko sa tanong niya.
"Nagtatanong lang ako." Sabi naman ni nanay bago ibinalik ang atensyon kay Wayne.
"Nasa tamang edad na kayo at hindi ko kayo pipigilan sa kung anuman relasyon ang
meron kayo. May tiwala ako sa anak ko dahil mula pagkabata pa lang itinuro ko sa
kanya kung ano ang tama at mali. Wayne, isa lang ang hihilingin ko sa'yo,
respetuhin mo ang anak ko bilang babae. Ang pagmamahal pwedeng mawala, pero ang
respeto yan ang hinding-hindi dapat mawala sa isang relasyon."
Tumango si Wayne. "Mahal ko po ang anak niyo at nirerespeto ko po siya. Wala po
kayong dapat ipag-alala." Sabi niya bago tumingin sa akin. Hindi ako makapaniwalang
sinabi niya iyon sa harap ni nanay.
Muling ngumiti si nanay. "Iyon lang ang gusto kong marinig mula sa'yo. Alam mo bang
unang kilala ko pa lang sa'yo, gusto na kita para sa anak ko?"
Ngiti lang ang isinagot ni Wayne bago siya tumingin sa akin. Ngumiti din ako sa
kanya. Nagpatuloy sila sa kuwentuhan nila habang kumakain kami. Nang matapos kami
sa pagkain, palagay na sila sa isa't isa.
Tinulungan ako ni Wayne na magligpit ng pinagkainan namin. Sinubukan ko siyang
pigilan pero nagpumilit pa rin siya. Ako ang naghugas ng plato at siya ang
nagligpit sa mesa. Pagkatapos ay pinainom ko na si nanay ng gamot niya bago siya
pumasok sa kwarto niya para tapusin ang pinatatahing kurtina ng kapitbahay namin.
"Bakit dito mo ko dinala?" Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili kong tanungin sa kanya.
He had the chance na dalhin ako sa condo niya at tapusin doon ang nasimulan na
namin.
"Kasi gusto kitang ihatid." Kibit-balikat na sabi niya.
"Alam mo ang ibig kong sabihin, Wayne."
Nagpakawala siya ng malalim na buntong-hininga bago tumitig sa akin. "I don't want
you to think that sex is all I'm after. I meant what I said earlier, Tanya. Hindi
iyon ang habol ko sa'yo. What you did in the past doesn't define who you are and I
don't want you to carry it all throughout your life. I don't want you to think of
yourself like that. I want to give you back everything you never wanted to give. I
don't want you to ever be afraid to give your heart to me. I promise that it'll be
in good hands. I promise your love will always be safe with me."
"Wayne..." Parang may kung anong nakabara sa lalamunan ko nang subukan kong pigilin
ang luha ko.
"Tanya." Pumulupot ang isang bisig niya sa baywang ko at kinabig niya ako palapit
sa kanya. Idinantay niya ang noo niya sa noo ko at humugot ng malalim na hininga.
"You don't know how crazy you make me feel. You do shit to my insides that nobody
else has ever come close to doing."
Nanatili kami sa ganung posisyon, yakap lang ang isa't isa. Pinakikiramdaman ko
lang ang pagtaas at baba ng dibdib niya ang mainit niyang hininga at ang katawan
niyang nakalapat sa akin. Hindi namin kailangan mag-usap, hindi namin kailangan ng
salita. Sapat na ang mga iyon upang maipahiwatig ang anuman ang gustong sabihin ng
mga labi namin. When we're together, I feel like words were useless.
Dinampian niya ako ng halik sa noo bago niya ako pinakawalan sa yakap niya. "I have
to go."
Pilit akong ngumiti. "Mag-ingat ka."
May kinuha siya mula sa bulsa niya at inilagay sa mga palad ko. Nagbaba ako ng
tingin at parang hinatak ako mula sa fairytale pabalik sa realidad.
Umiling ako. "Wayne, hindi-" Hindi na isang kliyente ang tingin ko sa kanya.
"Keep it. Hindi ganun ang tingin ko sa'yo, Tanya, pero alam kong ginagawa mo ito
para sa nanay mo. Isipin mo na lang tulong ko na sa inyo yan. You need that more
than I do."
"Wayne, hindi ko talaga matatanggap ito."
"Tanya, it's alright." Marahan na sabi niya. "Taking that won't make me think any
less of you. Nothing ever will. Remember that, okay?"
Dinampian niya ako ng isang marahang halik sa labi. "Good night, Tanya."
"Good night." Sagot ko.
Hinatid ko siya hanggang sa pinto at pinanood ko siya habang naglalakad siya
palayo.
"Wayne..." Tawag ko sa kanya.
Lumingon siya sa akin.
"I love you." Sabi ko bago isinara ang pinto ng apartment at parang nanghihinang
sumandal doon. Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko pero ang sarap sa pakiramdam tuwing
sinasabi ko sa kanya iyon.
Katatapos ko lang maligo ng mag-ring ang cellphone ko at hindi ko naiwasang kiligin
ng makita ang pangalan ni Wayne doon. Agad kong sinagot iyon.
"Hello?"
"Say it again." Agad na bunggad niya.
"Ano?"
"Say it again." Ulit niya. "Ulitin mo yung sinabi mo kanina."
"Ano ba yung sinabi ko?" Malapad ang ngiting tanong ko.
Narinig ko ang mahinang pagtawa niya. "Come on, sweetheart, I want to hear you say
it."
I chuckled silently. "I love you."
"That's my good girl." Rinig ko sa boses niya ang ngiti niya. "I love you, too."
Parang may isang libong paru-parong lumilipad sa tiyan ko nang sabihin niya iyon.

Regular kaming nagkikita ni Wayne sa mga nakalipas na araw. Palagi niya akong
sinusundo sa trabaho at sa eskwelahan at palagi niya rin akong hinahatid sa amin.
Minsan sumasabay din siyang maghapunan sa bahay. Sabi naman ni nanay gusto niya si
Wayne para sa akin. Tinanong din niya sa akin kung mag-ano ba kami pero hindi ko
naman alam kung anong dapat kong isagot dahil hindi naman namin napapag-usapan
iyon. Ang alam ko lang mahal ko siya at sabi niya mahal niya din ako.
Katulad ng sinabi niya kay nanay, nirespeto niya ako bilang babae. He doesn't treat
me like a paid prostitute. Hinahalikan niya ako pero palaging may limitasyon.
Ramdam ko rin ang pagpigil niya sa sarili niya. Alam kong mahirap para sa kanya ang
magpigil pero ginagawa pa rin niya.
"Tanya." Tawag sa akin ng isang pamilyar na boses habang naglalakad ako papunta sa
library. Napalingon ako at nakita si Luis. Seryoso at madilim ang mukha niya. Hindi
ko na nakikita si Luis mula noong nangyari sa canteen. Hindi na din siya sumasama
sa amin ni Edna. Naging mailap na siya, lumayo na siya sa amin.
"Luis." Nakangiting sabi ko. "Ngayon na lang ulit kita nakita. Palagi ka namin
hinahanap ni Edna."
"Palagi din kitang nakikitang sinusundo ng lalaking iyon." Walang bakas ng kahit
anong emosyong sa boses niya katulad ng mukha niya. Huminto siya sa harap ko.
"Magkano, Tanya?"
Parang nanuyo ang lalamunan ko sa tanong niya at napalunok ako. "A-ano'ng ibig mong
sabihin?"
"Magkano ibinabayad niya sa'yo para maikama ka?" Tumaas ang isang sulok ng labi
niya.
My hands folded into fists. Parang nahulog ang puso ko sa tiyan ko. Parang naubusan
ako ng hininga sa sinabi niya.
"Hindi ko alam ang sinasabi mo." Tanggi ko bago ako tumalikod sa kanya. Gusto kong
tumakbo palayo pero bago ko nagawa iyon, nagsalita siya. At parang pinagbagsakan
ako ng langit at lupa sa sinabi niya.
"Alam ko ang tungkol sa blue book."
Chapter Thirteen
Tanya's POV

Pabalang na ibinagsak ni Luis ang libro sa mesa sa harap ko. Nagbaba ako ng ulo ng
maramdaman ko ang namumuong luha sa mga mata ko. Gusto kong maglaho sa kinauupuan
ko ngayon. Alam niya na ang tungkol sa blue book, nakita niya ako doon.
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko, kung aamin ba ako o itatanggi ko na ako
ang babae sa librong iyon. Nag-angat ulit ako ng tingin kay Luis na tahimik na
nakatayo sa likod ng mesa at matalim ang mga matang nakatitig sa akin. Iba ang
tingin niya sa akin, para bang diring-diri siya. Gusto kong manliit sa sarili ko.
Marahas na binuksan niya ang libro at halos mapunit na ang ilang pahina. Huminto
siya sa page kung saan nakalagay ang picture ko.
"Ikaw ba yan?" Matalim ang boses na tanong niya.
"Luis." Nakikiusap na sabi ko.
"Ikaw ba yan, Tanya?!" Tumaas ang boses niya.
Pinikit ko ang mga mata ko para pigilan ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko at napasandal
ako sa kinauupuan ko. Parang bigla akong naubusan ng lakas. "Wala na akong maisip
na ibang paraan. Natanggalan ako ng scholarship at kailangan ko ng pera pangbili ng
mga gamot ni nanay."
"Yung lalaking palagi mong kasama, binabayaran ka niya?" Tumigas ang ekspresyon ng
mukha ni Luis.
May hikbing kumawala sa lalamunan ko ng tumango ako. Yun naman talaga ang totoo.
Kahit pagbalibaliktarin mo, binabayaran pa rin ako ni Wayne.
Napakislot ako ng magmura si Luis. Ngayon ko lang siya nakitang magalit at narinig
na magmura. At sa totoo lang, natatakot na ako.
"Mas malala ka pa pala sa iniisip ko. Hindi ka lang pala gold digger, puta ka din
pala." Tagis bang na sabi niya.
Para akong sinuntok sa sikmura sa sinabi niya. Alam ko naman kung anong trabaho ang
pinasok ko pero masakit pa rin na marinig iyon galing sa kaibigan mo. Ilang taon
kaming naging magkaibigan ni Luis, di ko inaasahan na sa kanya manggagaling ang mga
masasakit na salita na yun.
Ibinaon ko ang mukha ko sa mga palad ko at hindi ko na napigilan ang pag-iyak ko.
Ilang minuto naghari ang katahimik. Wala akong narinig kung hindi ang tahimik na
pag-iyak ko.
"Alam ba ni tita Esther 'to?" Tanong ni Luis.
Agad akong nag-angat ng tingin sa kanya. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko ng banggitin
niya ang pangalan ni nanay. Sunod-sunod akong umiling. "Hindi niya alam, wala
siyang alam dito."
"Kailangan niyang malaman 'to." Seryosong sabi niya.
Nag-panic ako. "Hindi! Hindi pwedeng malaman ni nanay 'to!" Kinuha ko ang isang
kamay niya at hinawakan ito. Tinitigan ko siya ng diretso. "Nakikiusap ako sa'yo,
Luis. May sakit si nanay. Baka di niya kayanin pag nalaman niya."
Lumambot ang mukha ni Luis, tumaas ang isa pa niyang kamay at hinawakan niya ang
pisngi ko. "Tanya..." Halos pabulong na sabi niya. He lightly stroked my cheek.
"Alam mo naman hindi ako makakahindi sa'yo." Bumaba ang palad niya sa leeg niya at
parang tumayo ang mga balahibo ko sa paraan ng paghaplos niya sa akin. Huminto iyon
sa ibabaw ng balikat ko at pinisil niya iyon. "Sana ganun ka din sa akin."
"Luis..." Dahan-dahan kong binitawan ang kamay niya na hawak ko.
"Naghintay ako sa'yo. Halos sambahin na nga kita eh." Ngumiti siya pero iba ang
ngiting iyon. Nangungutya. "Kung alam ko lang na pera lang pala ang katapat mo,
sana di ko na ako nag-aksaya ng panahon sa panliligaw sa'yo. Magkano ba ang isang
gabi mo?"
Natutop ko ang bibig ko ng ma realize ko ang ibig niyang sabihin. "Luis, ayoko..."
I shrugged his other hand away from my shoulder.
"Babayaran naman kita." Madilim ang mukhang sabi niya. "O gusto mo pang malaman ng
nanay mo ang ginagawa mo."
"Please, Luis, huwag ganito." Pakiusap ko sa kanya.
"Pumili ka, sasama ka sa akin? O malalaman ni tita Esther?" Tumaas ang isang sulok
ng labi niya.
Pabilis ng pabilis ang tibok ng puso ko sa bawat hakbang ng makitid ng pasilyong
iyon. Ilang pinto na ang nadadaanan namin. Isa... dalawa... tatlo... I had never
been scared like this my whole. Kahit na noong una kaming magkita ni Wayne sa
restaurant. Mas natatakot ako ngayong kasama ko si Luis dito sa loob ng motel.
Natatakot akong huminto kami sa isa sa mga pintong iyon. Sana tumigil ang oras.
Bawat hakbang, parang unti-unting pinipiga ang dibdib ko.
Wayne... Biglang siyang pumasok sa isip ko. I wanted it to be with him. Gusto ko
siya lang at wala ng iba.
Dumating na ang kinatatakutan ko. Huminto si Luis sa isa sa mga pinto at ipinasok
ang susi doon. Para akong binuhos ng yelo at nanlamig ang buong katawan ko. Parang
sasabog ang puso ko sa sobrang bilis nito at ang mga paa ko, gustong tumakbo
palayo.
Pumasok si Luis sa kwarto at tahimik na tinitigan ako ng hindi ako sumunod sa
kanya. Parang napako ang mga paa ko sa kinatatayuan ko.
Sana biglang dumating si Wayne at hatakin ako palabas dito sa lugar na ito. But it
was all wishful thinking. Alam kong sa totoong buhay, hindi mangyayari iyon. Ni
wala nga siyang alam na nandito ako ngayon.
Kinuha ni Luis ang kamay ko at pwersahang hinatak ako papasok sa kwarto. Nanigas
ang buong katawan ko sa takot ng isara niya ang pinto sa likod ko. Para akong
nakulong sa hawla kasama ang isang leon.
"Huwag kang umarte na parang hindi mo 'to ginagawa." Nakasimangot na sabi ni Luis.
"Hindi namin 'to ginagawa." Tanggi ko at naramdaman ko na naman ang pamumuo ng luha
ko. At iyon ang parehong bagay na pinagsisisihan ko, hindi namin ito nagawa. Akala
ko si Wayne ang magiging una ko sa lahat. Akala ko siya ang unang lalaking
pagbibigyan ko ng sarili ko.
"Matagal na akong nagpakagago sa'yo, Tanya." Lalong dumilim ang mukha niya.
"Hanggang ngayon ba maggagaguhan pa tayo?"
"Luis, ayokong gawin 'to. Nagmamakaawa ako sa'yo." Nangingig ang boses na pakiusap
ko. Pero nanatiling matigas ang ekspresyon ng mukha niya.
Hinawakan niya ako sa baba at bumaba ang ulo niya sa akin pero bago dumampi ang mga
labi niya sa labi ko, pinihit ko ang ulo ko para hindi niya ako mahalikan. Dumampi
ang mga labi niya sa pisngi ko at doon pa lang, nandidiri na ako.
Hindi ko kayang gawin 'to.
Binigyan niya ako ng maliliit na halik sa pisngi pababa sa panga. Gusto kong masuka
sa ginagawa niya. Nandidiri ako sa kanya. Gumapang ang mga kamay niya pataas sa
butones ng suot kong uniform.
Mariin kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko at kusang tumulo ang luha ko. Baka pagpinikit
ko ang mga mata ko, pwedeng kong isipin na si Wayne ang kasama ko at hindi siya.
Maybe I could imagine it was Wayne who was kissing me and maybe, just maybe, it
might work.

Chapter Fourteen
Wayne's POV
I waited for Tanya for over an hour outside her school but I never saw her. I tried
calling her on the phone but she wouldn't pick it up, the second time I tried
calling, her phone was already off. I felt queasy. That wasn't something Tanya
would do. I had a got feeling that something was terribly wrong.
I went to their apartment to check if Tanya was there but her mother told me she
still hadn't gone home. I even went to the fast food chain where she works but she
wasn't there. I was worried as fuck it made me sick to my stomach. This was bad. I
didn't know where on earth she was and I couldn't contact her.
I thought about calling the police but decided to wait an hour. If I still couldn't
contact her or she still wasn't in her home, I'd have to call the authorities. I
decided to head back home to fix myself some dinner and take a shower, hoping it
would help clear my tensed mind and relax it a bit.
The elevator door to my floor opened. I massaged my temples, willing the pressure
in my head to clear. Her phone probably just died, she probably just went out with
her friends and she forgot that I was going to pick her up. I tried to think of
logical, positive reasons but this had never happened before.
As I was walking down the hallway to my unit, I saw a figure sitting in a fetal
position next to my door. The figure was all too familiar to me. It was Tanya. I
felt relief like I had never felt it before. I felt like the pressure on my body
had been lifted. She was hugging her legs to her chest and her head was buried into
her knees.
"Tanya?" I softly said.
Her head shot up. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying.
"Angel, where have you been?" I asked worriedly as I walked towards her and knelt
down in front of her. "I was so worried about you. Don't you ever do that again."
She didn't say anything. Her arms flew around my neck, she buried her face in my
chest and cried. I held her in my arms and stroked her hair.
"Tanya, what happened?" I whispered in her ear.
She lifted her head up, cupped my face and pressed her lips against mine. I was a
bit surprised but soon enough, I was responding to her kiss. She took one of my
hand and lifted it to her breast.

"Hawakan mo 'ko." She whispered against my lips, arching her back, pressing her
breast more firmly against my hand.
"Tanya..." I breathed out. I didn't know what prompted her desperation for me but I
loved it.
"Please, Wayne." She panted.
I took her in my arms and carried her inside without breaking our kiss. I gently
laid her down my bed and I fell on top of her. I pulled away from the kiss to take
in a deep breath of air and gently leaned my forehead against hers. We were both
panting for air. The need for me radiating from her eyes sent bolt or pure arousal
to my length and I couldn't make her wait even if I wanted to.
My hand went to the button of her blouse and began the slow, sensual process of
unfastening each one until she was left with only her white cotton bra. She lifted
my shirt over my head, helping out of it. Then her eyes lowered to my bare chest.
Innocent curiosity flicked across her eyes as she lifted her hand up to me. Her
fingertip traced my chest, sending jolts of pleasure throughout my body. Each touch
seemed so surreal and divine, it was as if it was the first time I had ever felt
someone carress my skin. Her fingers lowered to my stomach which made me gasp in
surprise. Shocked at my reaction, she instantly pulled her hand back.
She looked up at me with worry in those pair of beautiful eyes. I gave her a
reassuring smile. She scanned my face, it was like a thousand eyes searing into my
skin reminding me that she had power over me than no woman have ever had before.
Her eyes see through me, straight into my soul and claim it as she had claimed my
heart.
"You're going to be the death of me, angel."
My eyes dropped to her white cotton bra and so did one of my hand. She let out a
little whimper at the same time her torso jerked when i took her breast in my hand
and rubbed the tip of it with my thumb. Even with the cloth getting in the way, i
could see and feel how hard her nipples were for me. My hand made its way to her
back, she lifted herself a little so I could unhook her bra. Once her breasts were
free, I instantly bent my head and closed my mouth over one pink nipple and sucked
the peak of it like a hungry baby.
I felt her fingers rake tightly through my hair as I sucked on her breast. I
carefully took my time, not trying to rush at all as I switched to her other breast
and gave it the same sweet attention. She was writing and moaning under me.
My hand went down to her legs and made its way under her uniform skirt. It went
further up until I was touching that little piece of cotton that covered her
feminity. Ravenous sexual hunger gripped me as I felt the damp heat against my
hand. I began petting her through the cloth and firmly stroking her. She mewled
softly in the back of her throat and the way she was responding to me made me even
more hard. I pushed her panties aside and touched her bare flesh. Her hips slightly
lifted up against my hand. I began lightly tracing her soaking wet sex with my
finger. I stopped on her clit and my finger pressed harder, circling on it. I could
tell that she was struggling not to moan out loud. A few strokes and her body
already stiffened, her moan became one continuous exhalation. That was when I
realized she was coming. She hugged me tighter as her whole body shook and
trembled. Her moans finally quieted as she slumped against the bed, her arms
loosening on me. I lifted my head up and looked at her beautiful face, her eyes
closed and her expression was soft.
She may not know it yet but the orgasm I'd given to her sealed her fate. She was
mine, I was claiming her. I may never be the first of so many things for her, I
came too late. I didn't care about the lost firsts but I would fight to death for
her lasts.
I laid down next to her and took her in my arms. A few minutes later, her eyes
fluttered open. I looked down at her and smiled into her dazed eyes.
"Hey." I whispered.
"A-ano yun?" She innocently asked.
I was quite taken aback at her question. "You've had your orgasm. You came for me,
angel." I softly said. Her eyes widened but she remained silent. "You've never had
one ?"
She shook her head.
"Did you like it?" I asked, stroking her hair.
She shyly smiled and nodded her head.
God, I had never met a woman as innocent as Tanya. Maybe she had given her body to
god knows how many men but I knew she had never given them anything more than that.
I had her innocence and it would always be mine now.
I pulled her closer to my side and gave her a kiss on the side of her head. She
lifted her head up and kissed me. Once again, the atmosphere that hangs on the air
was like a cloud ready to burst, raining lust and need over us as our lips and
bodies touched. With the gentlest of kisses I hope she could feel how much I love
her, how much I never wanted this to end and how much I wanted her to be mine
forever. In that moment, there were no world outside our bodies and no once except
us. Right now being with her was the only place I wanted to be, she was my
sanctuary, my place of security. She filled up the emptiness inside me and it was
so good to feel this whole.
I pulled her on top of me. I helped her out of her remaining clothes, I pushed her
skirt and her panties down and now she was naked on top of me. I eased my pants and
boxers down, freeing my hard, aching cock. It pressed against her thighs. She
looked down at our sex, emotions flashed across her face all at once.
I lifted her hip up and positioned myself on her opening before lowering her body
to me. I looked down watching as the tip of my cock slowly slid inside her. She was
so warm, so wet, and so mine. I lowered her slowly. She was so unbelievably tight,
I could barely move in. I cupped her buttocks to get a firmer grip and lifted my
hips up to her as I lowered her to me. Something ripped inside of her, snapped like
a rubber band. Her body jerked, her spine tensed and she cried out, gasping.
I looked up at her, my eyes widening in realization. I gritted my teeth and held
her still for a moment to let her adjust to me. After a few moment, she began to
lower her hips, taking me inside her. She bit her bottom lips, tears began to spill
from her eyes as she took me further in. I could see in her face that she was in
pain but there was also ecstasy.
"God, Tanya!" I groaned, snapping out of my trance. I began to slowly move her on
top of me until I could feel my orgasm building up with every thrust. My mind lost
focus on everything else. Intense pleasure filled my mind. I lowered her one last
time and shot my load inside her.

Chapter Fifteen
Tanya's POV
Nagising ako ng maramdaman ko ang maliliit at nakakakiliting halik sa likod ko.
Naalimpungat na kumislot ako at humarap sa kanya. Dahil sa biglaang paggalaw ko, di
ko naiwasang mapangiwi ng maramdaman ko ang sakit sa buong katawan ko lalo na sa
pagitan ng hita ko. Pinilit kong buksan ang mabibigat na mata ko at nakita ko
siyang tahimik na nakatingin sa akin.
Maraming tanong ang naglalaro sa mga mata niya. Ibinuka niya ang bibig niya at
hinintay ko siyang magsalita pero walang lumabas mula doon. Isinara niya ulit iyon
at napabuntong-hininga na lang. "Sleep."
"I love you..." Umangat ang isang kamay ko at isinuklay ko ang mga daliri ko sa
makapal na buhok niya. Ipinatong niya ang kamay niya sa ibabaw ng kamay ko na nasa
buhok niya at dinala sa labi niya para halikan iyon.
"I love you too." Namumungay ang mga matang ngumiti siya. Wala pang ilang segundo,
nag-iba na naman ang reaksyon ng mukha niya. Kumunot ang noo niya. "You were a
virgin?"
Tango lang ang naisagot ko sa kanya. Wala akong maramdaman na kahit katiting na
pagsisisi na sa kanya ko ibinigay ang sarili ko. Walang takot o pag-aalinlangan.
Lahat ng naramdaman ko ngayon kasama ko si Wayne ay kabaligtaran ng naramdaman ko
ng kasama ko si Luis sa loob ng motel. Hindi ko masikmurang ibigay ang sarili ko sa
kanya. Alam ko na kapag pumayag ako sa gusto niya habang buhay kong pagsisisihan
iyon. Wala akong naramdaman kundi pangdidiri ng subukan niya akong halikan. Nang
buksan niya ang pangalawang butones ng suot kong pang-itaas at sinubukan niyang
ipasok ang kamay niya doon tinulak ko siya. Hindi ko kayang may ibang humawak sa
akin bukod kay Wayne. Tumakbo ako palabas ng motel at iniwan siya doon.
"How did that happen? How were you a virgin? You're a..." Huminto siya na para bang
naghahagilap ng tamang salitang dapat sabihin. Pero alam namin pareho na walang
tamang magandang salita para doon.
"Walang ibang lalaki, Wayne. Ikaw pa lang." Mahinang sabi ko.
"You've never had clients before me?" Namilog ang mga mata niya.
Umiling ako.
"Tanya..." Mariin siyang napapikit at sinuklay niya ang mga daliri niya sa buhok
niya. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"H-hindi ko alam. Hindi ko naisip na sabihin sa'yo yun dahil di naman importante-"
"It's important to me. God, the way I treated you before..." Tumigas ang ekspresyon
ng mukha niya.
"Iyon naman ang trabahong pinasok ko."
"But still, I shouldn't have treated you like that." May pagsisisi sa boses niya.
"Tapos na iyon." Sabi ko.
"Did it ever occur to you that with your looks you could've sold your virginity for
so much money you'd never have to work again?" Tanong niya habang magkalapat ang
mga labi namin.
Umiling ako. "Gusto ko lang naman maipagamot ang nanay."
"Pagtutulungan natin iyon dalawa." Sabi niya bago kinuha ang kamay ko at
hinalikan. "You're my girl, Tanya. You're problem is mine now and I'll walk every
step of the way with you. Do you understand?"
Nangingilid ang luhang tumango ako. Pakiramdam ko nabawasan ang problemang pasan-
pasan ko sa sinabi niya. I felt a little lighter.
Hinatak niya ako palapit sa kanya at hinalikan sa noo. Kinuha niya ang isang kamay
ko, hinawakan niya iyon at ipinatong sa dibdib niya. Ilang minuto kaming nanatili
sa ganong posisyon. Magkadikit ang mga hubad na katawan at magkahawak ang mga
kamay. Tinignan ko ang mga kamay namin, saktong-sakto ang mga daliri namin parang
ginawa ang mga kamay namin para sa isa't isa.
"Wayne, alam na ni Luis ang tungkol sa blue book. Nakita niya ako doon." Mahinang
sabi ko.
Inangat ni Wayne ang ulo niya para titigan ako. "What? How did that happen?"
"Hindi ko alam na nandoon pa din ang picture ko. Tinakot niya ako na sasabihin niya
kay nanay ang totoo kapag hindi ako sumama sa kanya, kapag hindi ko siya
pinagbigyan."
Nakita ko kung paano nag-iba ang ekspresyon ng mukha ni Wayne. Dumilim ang mga mata
niya, tumigas ang mukha niya, at nagtagis ang mga bagang niya.
"And then what happened? Sumama ka ba sa kanya?" Kontrolado ang boses niya at tila
ba pinipigil ang galit.
Kahit natatakot ako, dahan-dahan akong tumango.
"Where did he take you and what did he do to you?" Asik niya.
"Dinala niya ako sa motel" Napalunok ako nang maramdaman kong nanunuyo ang
lalamunan ko. "Sinubukan niya akong halikan pero hindi ko kaya... hindi ko kayang
may ibang humalik sa akin bukod sa'yo."
Muling lumambot ang mukha ni Wayne.
"Tinakbuhan ko siya pero natatakot ako ngayon. Natatakot ako na baka totohanin niya
ang banta niya. Baka kung anong mangyari kay nanay kapag nalaman niya 'yon. Baka
hindi niya kayanin, mahina na ang puso niya."
Ipinikit ni Wayne ang mga mata niya at humugot ng malalim na hininga. Pagkatapos ng
ilang saglit ay dumilat siya. "We'll figure things out okay? But for now, I don't
want you to think about it. I won't let that bastard near you or tita Esther again,
I promise. He'd have to go through me first."
Even with just his words, I felt safe.
Wayne's POV
Touching every inch of her skin.
Hands in hair, fingertips brushing along her spine, my palm splayed across her
shoulderblades, thumbs brushing across her closed eyelids.
I wanted to memorize every part of her until she becomes a part of me, everytime,
all over again. That way I always carry her with me.
Her breath was warm against my face. I could hear the perfect rythm of her
heartbeat as she breathed in and out. The rising and falling of her chest
hypnotized me as I reveled in the sensation of her scent, tainting the air and
dosing my mind.
If it wasn't for the existence of right here, right now, I wouldn't believe in
perfection.
But this was perfection, her and me as the world spins around us. The world can do
whatever the fuck it wants... end, begin anew, as long as I have her here with me.
I was the first man to have her, not that it really matters to me but I felt like I
was the first man to walk on the moon knowing that. She would always be different
from everyone that came before her.
There was nothing in my mind but the parts that she had uncovered to my naked
senses, the moment she took me in her arms and made me a part of her anatomy, her
hands inside of mine while she took me to a world that was only created for us. I
knew nothing would ever compare to these feelings.
She was so beautiful. I couldn't get the mental image in my mind and I didn't think
I want to anyway. I needed that, the snap shots that I now had dozend of in my
mind. The way her breasts bobbed up and down as she rode on top of me, the flush to
her skin telling me that every drop of blood in her body was on fire for me at that
moment and the way she stared at me at I knew that there was no one in the world
she wanted to be with more at that second than me. All of it just cemented how she
loved me as much I loved her.
"I love you." I whispered in her ear.
I pulled her closer to my body, she snuggled against me.
Tanya's POV
Madaling-araw na ng ihatid ako ni Wayne sa amin. Sinubukan ko siyang pigilan na
sumama paakyat sa apartment pero hindi siya nagpapigil. Gusto niya daw akong ihatid
ng maayos sa amin.
Nang buksan ko ang pinto ng apartment nakita ko si nanay na nakaupo sa sala at
tahimik na nagtatahi ng tela. Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa amin.
"Magandang gabi po." Sabi ni Wayne.
"Madaling araw na." Ibinaba ni nanay ang telang tinatahi niya. Seryoso ang mukhang
nagpalit-palit siya ng tingin sa amin. "Saan kayo galing?"
"May pinuntahan po kaming party, nay." Dahilan ko. Lumapit ako sa kanya at nagmano.
"Pasensya na po, medyo ginabi na kasi natapos."
"Ayaw ko ng mauulit uli ito." Nakatingin siya kay Wayne.
"Hindi na po mauulit." Agad na sagot ni Wayne.
"Hindi magandang tignan sa mga katulad niyong binata't dalaga na umuuwi ng ganitong
oras."
"Pasensya na po." Si Wayne.
"Kumain na ba kayong dalawa? Nagtira ako ng ulam sa kusina." Tanong ni nanay.
"Tapos na po, nay." Sagot ko.
"Ikaw Wayne, hindi ka ba hinahanap sa inyo? Ano'ng oras na, o?"
Umiling si Wayne.
"Nay, uminom na po ba kayo ng gamot niyo?" Paalala ko sa kanya.
"Tapos na."
"Sigurado po kayo?"
"Oo, kahit bilangin mo pa." Buntong-hiningang sagot niya.
"Magpahinga na po kayo. Bukas niyo na tapusin yang tinatahi niyo. Gabi na." Sabi ko
at kinuha ko ang tela mula sa kanya.
"O sya, kanina pa ako inaantok. Hinihintay lang kita." Sabi niya at nag-unat. "Ikaw
din matulog ka na at ikaw naman Wayne, umuwi ka na. Huwag mong kalilimutan i-lock
ang pinto."
"Opo, nay."
"Good night po, tita Esther." Sabi ni Wayne.
Tumayo na si nanay at pumasok sa kwarto niya. Naiwan kaming dalawa ni Wayne sa
sala. Hinatid ko siya sa pinto ng apartment at sandali kaming tumayo sa harap non.
"Good night." Nakangiting sabi ni Wayne, iyon ang pinakamatamis na ngiting nakita
ko sa kanya.
"Good night din." Sagot ko
"Bukas ulit?" Hinapit niya ang baywang ko.
Kahit hindi ko nakikita ang sarili ko ngayon, alam kong namumula na ang mukha ko ng
pumasok sa isip ko ang nangyari kanina.
"I mean bukas susunduin kita." Sabi niya na para bang nabasa niya ang isip ko.
"Sige." Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa hiya.
"I love you." Inipit niya ang baba ko gamit ang mga daliri niya at itinaas ang
mukha ko para matitigan ko siya.
Hindi ko naiwasan mapangiti sa sinabi niya. Ang sarap pakinggan ng mga katagang
iyon. "I love you too. Mahal na mahal kita."
"Oh, Tanya..." He said, pulling me into a hug. "I wish I could take you home with
me tonight."

Tapos na ang klase at salamat sa Diyos hindi kami nagkita o nagkasalubong ni Luis.
Matagal na din siyang hindi pumapasok sa klase na magkaklase kami. Hindi ko alam
ang gagawin ko kung sakaling magkita kami ngayon pagkatapos ng nangyari kahapon.
May takot pa din sa dibdib ko na baka gawin niya nga ang banta niya pero pinalis ko
muna iyon sa isip ko katulad ng sabi ni Wayne.
Ilang taon ko din naging kaibigan si Luis. Mabuti siyang tao, kahit kailan wala
siyang ipinakita kung hindi kabutihan sa akin. Nag-iba na lang siya nitong nakaraan
ng pumasok sa buhay ko si Wayne. Hindi siya ang taong ipinakita niya sa akin
kahapon. Hindi iyon ang Luis na kilala ko. Gusto kong maniwalang hindi niya
itutuloy ang banta niya. Siguro nabigla lang siya. Alam niya ang kundsiyon ni
nanay, sila ni Edna ang naging hingahaan ko sa lahat ng problema ko. Kahit galit
siya sa akin ngayon, kahit tingin niya isa akong mababang uri ng babae, sana naman
maisip niya ang kalagayan ni nanay.
"Tanya." Nanlamig ang buo kong katawan ng marinig ko ang boses niya habang
hinihintay kong dumating si Wayne.
"Luis." Gulat na sabi ko ng makita siyang papalapit sa akin. Napaurong ang palayo
sa kanya. Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa librong yakap ko.
Matalim na titig ang itinapon niya sa akin. "Bakit iniwan mo ako kahapon?"
"Luis, please, huwag dito." Pakiusap ko sa kanya.
Marahas niyang hinaklit ang braso ko ng makalapit siya sa akin at tumilapon ang
librong hawak ko. "Bakit? Ayaw mong malaman nila kung anong klase kang babae?
Nahihiya kang may makaalam na isa kang-"
"Get your hands off my girlfriend!" Bago pa siya nakalingon, tumama ang kamao ni
Wayne sa mukha niya. Nabitawan niya ako at sumubsob siya sa sahig.
"Girlfriend?" Tumawa siya ng sarkastiko habang pinapahid ang bahid ng dugo sa gilid
ng labi niya at pilit na tumayo. "Huwag mo akong pinagloloko. Alam natin pareho
kung ano siya-"
"You don't know anything about her!" At isa pang suntok ang tumama sa mukha niya
bago siya tuluyang makatayo. "I don't want you near Tanya again. Hindi lang 'yan
ang aabutin mo kapag nakita kong lumapit ko ulit sa kanya."
"Hindi ako natatakot sa'yo, gago!" Galit na sabi ni Luis. "Tandaan niyo, hindi pa
ako tapos! Hindi pa ako tapos sa inyo!"
"Wayne, tama na. Hayaan na natin siya." Pilit kong inilayo si Wayne kay Luis bago
nang ambaan niya ulit ito ng suntok.

Chapter Sixteen
Wayne's POV
"Please, Wayne, tama na..." Tanya said, her eyes were begging as she wrapped her
arms around my torso.
My face softened at her expression. I felt my emotions going wild, anger and hatred
pumped through my veins but just one look from her... that was all it took, one
look and I could feel my all my anger melting into a pool of tenderness.
She must've noticed me softening up and her tight hold on me loosened up.
"Sabihin mo nga sa akin. Magaling ba siya kaya baliw na baliw ka sa kanya?" The
fucker sneered. What he said made blood go up my head. All I saw was red as my eyes
narrowed at him. My jaw clenched and my hands balled into fists.
Before I knew it, I was bending over and holding the asshole by the collar. I
yanked him up and pushed him against the wall.
"Wayne!" Tanya shrieked.
"The next time I hear you talk about Tanya that way, I will fucking kill you. Do
you understand?" I said through ragged breath. I shook him and shoved him against
the wall again, forcing his head against the sheetrock with a hard thud. "Do you
fucking understand?"
"Umalis na tayo, please." Tanya said in a small voice as she held on to one of my
arms. I let go of the asshole and quickly grabbed Tanya by the wrist. I pulled her
to where my car was parked. I opened the door to the passenger's seat and guided
her in before slipping into the driver's seat.
"Are you okay?" I said, cupping her face in the palms of my hand.
She forced out a smile and nodded her head.
"How did that asshole even become your friend?" My jaw clenched, as my whole body
shook in anger.
"Hindi naman siya ganyan dati. Mabait si Luis sa akin noon." She bit her bottom
lip.
I lowered my head to kiss her on the forehead before pulling away and looking into
her eyes. "I won't let anyone hurt you."

We went to my condo where she cooked dinner for us and we ate together. Although
I'd known her for only a fraction of my life, she easily became the most important
person in my life. She was everything to me. She was the reason I was happier at
that moment in my life than I had ever been before and I was so grateful for that.
She was sitting comfortably on the floor of the living room while she wrote on a
paper on top of the coffee table. She was so absorbed in what she was doing that
she hadn't noticed I was watching her. I sat on the floor with her and encircled my
arms around her waist.
"What are you doing?" I asked, resting my chin on her shoulder.
She turned her head to me. "Tinatapos ko lang 'tong homework ko."
"Mm..." I nodded my head before giving her a kiss on the shoulder.
"Ikaw? Wala ka bang homework?" She asked. "Gusto mong tulungan kita?"
"Nah, they can wait." I answered.
"Eh ano'ng gusto mong gawin?" She put her pen down and shifted so that she was
facing me.
"I want to talk." I said.
"Tungkol saan?"
"Anything under the sun." I smiled, fondling carressing the sides of her waist.
"Tell me about yourself."
"Ako si Tanya Helaine Andrada, eighteen years old, 2nd year college, at mahal na
mahal ko si Wayne Cameron St. Croix." She said with a huge smile on her gentle
face. I love the way her eyes lights up whenever she smiles. I hope she knows
everytime she does that, my heart skips a beat, that something I hadn't named yet
coils a little tighter in my stomach. She was perfect, and she was mine and I
wouldn't trade her love for anything.
I let out a low chuckle, pulling her closer to me until her back was resting
against my chest. "I love you too, Angel."
"Ikaw naman. Magkwento ka naman tungkol sa sarili mo."
"I don't know what to tell you."
"Gusto din kitang makilala." She softly spoke as her hand reached up to touch my
cheek. "Gusto kong mas lubos na makilala ang lalaking mahal ko."
I looked down at her, her pretty doe-like eyes with a hint of curiosity clearly
visible in them. I couldn't think of anything to say as I wasn't used to talking
about myself
"Ganito na lang. Ano'ng favorite color mo?" She asked.
What was my favorite color? Nobody had asked me that question. I never remember
anyone asking me anything about myself at all.
"Hmm... I like the color brown." I answered after giving it a thought.
"Favorite movie?"
"The Godfather."
"May kapatid ka ba?"
"I have a half-sister and a half-brother, they're my dad's kids with his second
wife."
"Buti ka pa may mga kapatid ka. Ako, si nanay lang ang meron ako. Ang sarap siguro
ng may mga kapatid, ano?"
I shook my head. "I don't really see them that much and even if I do see them, we
barely talk."
"Bakit naman?" Her brows furrowed.
I shrugged. "I don't know. That's just how it's always been. I've always been the
outsider in my father's new family."
A flash of pity crossed her face but thank God, it was swiftly replaced with a
smile. I hated being pitied. The last thing I want is for people to feel sorry for
me.
"Eh ang mommy mo? Nakakausap mo ba siya?"
"I've never spoken to her since she left." I tried to sound as casual as I could
about it, swallowing the painful lump in my throat.
"Namimiss mo siya?"
I took in a deep breath. hated my mother for leaving me behind. I couldn't
understand why she had to do it. How could a mother leave her child just like that?
Without even a fucking notice or a single goodbye? I used to blame myself when I
was a kid. I thought it was my fault that she left. I was being a burden to her, I
was a bad boy.
"Sometimes I do." I answered. I was more honest with her than I could ever be with
myself. I couldn't admit to myself what I just admitted to her. "But it doesn't
matter. She left, she shouldn't matter to me anymore."
Opening up to someone had always been hard for me. I was so used to keep to myself,
never allowing anyone in too much for the fear of being vulnerable. But with Tanya
it was different. I wanted to show her the parts of myself I hadn't yet learned to
love. I wanted her to be the first person who sees me in a light I hadn't yet grown
familiar with seeing. I wanted to experience everything with her. Every first,
every last, and every kind of forever.
"Alam mo, walang inang gustong mahiwalay sa anak niya. Siguro naman may magandang
rason ang mommy mo kung bakit nagawa niya iyon."
"Whatever her reason was, it doesn't matter now. I have you." I forced a smile.
"Someday I'm going to have a family of my own. We're going to have a big happy
family and we're going to have at least ten children."
"TEN?" Her eyes widened. "Ang dami nun. Apat lang."
"Okay, seven."
"Apat lang."
"Let's have at least five."
"Sige na nga, five." She chuckled deliciously.
I kissed the side of her forehead as I laughed along with her. I felt like this was
what I was waiting for all my life, this moment of vulnerability. She was what I'd
been looking for without any idea of where it was exactly that I was supposed to
end up. But I found her. And now I finally know why I'd been told so many times to
be patient. Before her I was surrounded by people who placed false hopes inside me.
I was small, so afraid to be a center of a trick performed by someone who's only
intention was to know that they could control me. Before her there was no hope, no
truth, no kiss that tasted like forever. She brought me back to life, to surface of
looking forward to the future. If it wasn't for her I'd still be floating, drowning
lifelessly in a sea of synthetic love.
"Then what are we waiting for?" I asked as I gathered her up in my arms. She let
out a laughing scream when I stood up, carrying her.
"Wayne, ano'ng ginagawa mo?"
"We're going to have to practice making those babies." I whispered huskily into her
ear.
She sucked in a breath and her eyes widened in shock. It took all I had in me not
to laugh. Goddamn, her innocence was just too cute sometimes. Even in the most
appropriate of times.
I carried her to my room and gently laid her down the bed. I took off my top as I
knelt down on top of her, her torso imprisoned between my legs. Her angelic face
was staring up at me with a glint of anticipation in her eyes. I lowered my head to
hers and my mouth fell on hers, my senses were saturated with pulsing need.
I could spend a lifetime kissing her. She kissed me back with the same intensity,
with no reservation or inhibition, her arms encircling around my neck. We didn't
start slow, I didn't even try to ease her into the kiss. My tongue forced her lips
open, thrusting it inside her mouth. I savoured her familiar taste, taking over her
mouth as if I'd kiss her a million times.
Her body trembled against mine. We were back in our own little bubble, our own
world. My fingers toyed with the top button of her blouse. We were breathing into
each other's mouth but still not wanting the kiss to end.
I unfastened each button of her uniform blouse, one by one. I pulled it open and it
revealed her smooth, creamy skin and her white bra. I broke away from the kiss to
admire her body. The tip of my forefinger lightly touched her skin. I ran my finger
down her neck, slipping past her throat and dipped in between her breast.
I pulled her bra down. My hand cupped around her breast, lifting it, and my thumb
found the nipple and grazed the extreme tip. I watched in fascination as it
hardened with my touch. I stroked it softly, gently, slowy, not in a hurry. She
sighed and gasped with each stroke. When I was done playing with it, I took it in
my mouth. I heard a small moan coming from her. I rolled it on my tongue and locked
her nipple in between my teeth, biting and nibbling it ever so lightly. Her mewls
shivered up my spine.
"Wayne..." She moaned. My name sounded so good when she said it like that.
I lifted my head up to look at her. Her eyes were fogged with desire. My pants were
getting tigther, my manhood throbbing with urgency as I looked at her. I unbuttoned
my pants and pulled it down along with my underwears and threw it on the floor.
Her eyes wandered down my body, her lips parting when her eyes stopped on my dick.
It was hard already hard for her. I couldn't help but smile as her cheeks turned
bright red. When she caught me watching her, she quickly looked away in
embarrassment. I took her hand and wrapped her fingers around my shaft.
"Stroke it, angel. Stroke me with your hand." I groaned in pleasure. She had my
pulsating erection in her hot little hand. I guided it back and forth my length.
She slowly turned her gaze back to me and watched in complete amusement. It didn't
take long for her to get the rythm, I let go of her hand and she started doing it
by herself. "You're so good, Tanya. Don't stop..."
She carressed it tenderly, exploring every inch of it with wide-eyed curiosity and
fascination. I sucked in a breath as she ran a soft thumb over the head of my dick,
touching the drop of precum. I let out a loud groan. I couldn't take it any longer,
I was ready to explode.
But I wanted to explode inside her, I wanted to spill every drop of my come inside
her. With one quick action, my hand slid inside her skirt and pulled her panties
down. I palmed her pussy, she warm, wet and so fuckin' ready for me. I positioned
myself between her legs and pulled her skirt up around her waist.
I brought my dick to her wet opening and pushed myself in. She was still tight but
now I could slide smoothly inside her. I bent my upper body forward to her and she
clung onto me like a drowning person who would cling on a life jacket in the middle
of the ocean. She let out a soft whimper as I eased out of her and back in.
"You feel so good. So hot and tight." I hoarsely moaned. I was fucking her in her
school uniform just like I had always fantasized. Her blouse was open, her breasts
were exposed and her skirt was hitched up, letting me see my length going in and
out of her.
I reached down between us and gave her clit a small flick. She took a sharp inhale
as her arms tightened around me.
"Wayne... Wayne... please..." She said in a shaky voice.
My finger circled around her clit as I thrust in and out of her. I could almost
feel it. A few more strokes and her body stiffened under me and then she relaxed
against the bed, letting me go. I could feel her pulsating around me while she
came, squeezing my cock in the most delectable way. The sensation triggered my
climax. I pumped inside her one last time, burying every inch of my length as I
came with a long groan.
I collapsed on top of her, burying my face into her neck. I was made anew everytime
our bodies become one. Complete, finished, whole.
I woke up from my short nap when I felt her fingers raking through my damp hair. I
looked up at her with hooded eyes and gave her a lazy smile.
"Wayne?" She bit her bottom lip.
"What's wrong?"
"Wayne, hindi kaya mabuntis ako?" She asked in a worried tone. "Masyado pa tayong
bata. Gusto kong makapagtapos ng pag-aaral. Gusto kong magkaroon ng trabaho."
"You won't get pregnant." I said, lifting my head up and leaving a soft kiss on her
forehead. "You had a depo shot."
I eased out of her and settled my body next to her. One of my arm wrapped around
her small waist.
"I'm not that selfish to get you pregnant at this age." I murmured against her
skin. "We'll have a family when the right time comes, when we're both ready."
"Wayne..." She softly said.
"Mm?" My eyes were starting to feel heavy.
"Mahal na mahal kita."
"Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal din kita." I couldn't help the smile that spread
across my lips.
For a few moments, there was nothing but silence. We let our bodies rest. We were
contented with just feeling our skin against each other, just listening to our soft
breathing, our bodies exchanging warmth from one another.
"You really never had a boyfriend before?" I asked, breaking the silence. I still
find it quite unbelievable how a girl this beautiful could be so innocent. She was
untainted before she met me.
She turned her head to me and shook it.
"You've never gone on a date?"
"Hindi pa din."
"But you're so beautiful. Nobody had ever asked you out?"
"Meron naman ilan pero tinanggihan ko ang mga yun. Mas priority ko ang pag-aaral ko
at ang nanay."
"So you completely had no experience with men and yet you signed yourself up on the
blue book?" I said, almost harshly. Thoughts came running through my mind. What if
I hadn't seen her that day? Paano kung may nauna sa akin na makakita sa kanya?My
arms possessively wrapped tighter around her little body. Just the mere thought of
it made me feel like I'd been punched in the gut.
"Lubog na lubog na kasi kami noon. Mapapalayas na kami sa apartment kapag hindi ako
nakabayad sa upa at saka kailangan ni nanay ng regular na gamot. Iyon lang kasi ang
naisip kong paraan."
"You're mine, Tanya. No one will get to have you. Just me. I'm the first and I'll
be the last." I said with firm conviction.
"Ikaw lang." She whispered, nuzzling her nose against my neck. I pulled her even
closer to me. Then she lifted her head up to look into my eyes. "Wayne?"
"Yeah?"
Her beautiful innocent eyes stared at me with a mix of apprehension and curiosity.
"Eh ako, pang-ilan na ako?"
I chuckled. "They don't matter, angel. You're all that matters to me now."
"Simula ngayon, ako na lang din ha?" Her fingers mindlessly played over my chest. I
loved how she became possesive towards me. This side of Tanya was so refreshing to
see.
"Ikaw lang. You're the only woman for me." I cupped her face with one hand,
bringing it closer to me and I kissed her tenderly.

Chapter Seventeen
Tanya's POV
"Bakit kaya hindi na pumapasok si Luis?" Tanong sa akin ni Edna habang naglalakad
kami palabas sa klase. "Sayang naman kung babagsak siya, patapos na naman ang
semester. Baka naman pwede pa niya ipakiusap sa prof natin."
Hindi ako kumibo. Hindi ko naman alam kung ano ang dapat kong sabihin sa kanya. Ang
alam ko lang ngayon, magandang hindi na malaman ni Edna. Dahil pag sinabi ko sa
kanya ang totoong dahilan, malalaman niya din ang tungkol sa Blue Book kaya
minabuti ko na lang manahimik. Kaibigan ko si Edna pero hindi pa ako handang
sabihin sa kanya ang tungkol doon.
"Tanya?"
"Bakit?"
"Nakikinig ka ba sa mga sinasabi ko?"
"Oo naman." Sagot ko.
"Noong nakaraang araw nga nakasalubong ko siya, tinatawag ko pero hindi naman ako
pinansin. Ano kayang problema nun?"
Kibit-balikat lang ang isinagot ko.
"Baka naman ikaw ang dahilan. Nagsimula lang naman magloko si Luis mula nung
dumating si Wayne."
"Boyfriend ko na si Wayne, Edna." Sabi ko sakanya.
Agad na humarap sa akin si Edna at nanlaki ang mga mata niya. "Boyfriend mo na
siya? Sabi na nga ba! Kailan pa? Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin?"
"Bigla na lang nangyari."
"Ano'ng bigla na lang nangyari? Paanong nangyari?" Usisa niya.
"Hindi ko din alam." Hindi mapigilan ang manguya ang pang-ibabang labi ko. "Mahirap
ipaliwanag."
"Mag-ingat ka, Tanya. Lalaki yan at hindi basta-bastang lalaki. Gwapo si Wayne,
mukhang habulin ng mga babae." Paalala ni Edna.
"Mahal niya ako." Mahinang sabi ko.
"Pinapaalalahan lang kita." Sabi niya. "Alam ba 'to ni Luis?"
Tumango ako.
"Kaya siguro nagkakaganyan siya." Bumuntong hininga si Edna. "Alam mo naman noon
pa, type na type ka na nun."
"Hindi ko naman siya pinaasa. Noon ko pa sinasabi sa kanya na kaibigan lang ang
tingin ko sa kanya."
"Ang problema, umasa siya. Sabi niya sa akin maghihintay siya hanggang maka-
graduate ka na, baka daw magbago ang isip mo pagkatapos nun."
"Kasalanan ko ba yon?" Hindi ko maiwasan makaramdam ng guilt. May nagawa o nasabi
ba ako na dahilan para umasa siya?
"Hindi no!" Agad na sagot ni Edna. "Kasalanan niya na yun. Hindi mo naman siya
pinaasa, umaasa lang talaga siya. Susunduin ka ba ng boyfriend mo?"
"Hindi, mamaya pa. Papasok pa ako sa trabaho." Sabi ko at tumingin sa orasan.
"O sige na, uuwi na ako. Mag-iingat ka ha." Sabi ni Edna. "Mag-usap tayo bukas,
marami ka nang utang sa akin na kwento!"

Inilagay ko na sa tray ang natitirang order ng customer sa tray at kinuha niya na

iyon para humanap ng upuan.
"Hi, welcome to Burger King. May I take your ord-" Mula sa screen ng cash register
nag-angat ako ng tingin sa sumunod sa customer na nakapili at natigilan ako ng
makita siya.
"Tanya." Tumaas ang kilay niya at tinitigan ako na parang sinisipat niya ako.
Muling nag-angat ang tingin niya sa mukha ko at ngumiti. "Tanya, right?"
Sandali ko siyang tinitigan. Sa pananamit, itsura at postura ni Margaux, halatang
out of place siya sa fast food restaurant na ito. She looked like she had stepped
out of a magazine cover. Kahit gustuhin ko magsalita, hindi ko mahanap ang boses ko
kaya tumango na lang ako.
"Sabi na nga ba. Hindi ako nagkamali, ikaw ang nakita ko." Tumawa siya ng mahina.
"Silly me. Bakit ba ako nagdalawang isip? Eh dito ka naman talaga nababagay."
I cleared my throat. Huminga ako ng malalim at pinilit ang sarili kong magsalita.
"May order po ba kayo?"
"I'm ordering you to stay away from Wayne." Inilapit niya ang mukha niya sa akin.
"Naiintindihan mo o gusto mong tagalugin ko para maintindihan mo?"
"Marami pa akong kailangan gawin. Kung wala na po kayong-"
"I hope you know where you stand, Tanya. Hindi ka seseryosohin ni Wayne. Look at
you! He can have any woman he wants. Sa dinami-rami ng babaeng nagkakandarapa kay
Wayne, sa tingin mo ikaw ang pipilii niya? A fast food chain crew?" She chuckled.
"If you think you're special to him then think again. Pampawala ka lang niya ng
init ng katawan, parausan ka lang. You're just a toy to him. Once he gets tired of
you, he'd dump you like the trash you are."
Pinilit kong huwag magpaapekto sa sinabi niya. Hindi ako naniniwala sa sinasabi
niya. Alam kong mahal ako ni Wayne. Binigyan ko siya ng isang matamis na ngiti.
"Kung wala ka ng sasabihin, pwede bang tumabi ka muna? May customer na nakapila sa
likod mo."
She leaned over to the counter. Binigyan niya ako ng matalim na titig. "I always
get what I want, Tanya. Always. You don't want to cross me."
"Wala akong ginagawa sa'yo." Mariin na sabi ko.
"Nilalandi mo si Wayne."
"Kung totoo nga ang sinabi mo kanina, wala ka naman sigurong dapat ikatakot."
Mahina pero matigas na sabi ko. Pinigil kong huwag manginig ang boses ko.
"Sino'ng may sabing natatakot ako?" Nakita ko kung paano nagtagis ang bagang niya
habang nakatingin sa akin. Lalong nanlisik ang mga matang tumayo siya ng diretso.
She held her chin high as if trying to intimidate me.
Lumunok ako ng maramdaman kong nanunuyo na ang lalamunan ko.
"Oh Tanya, Tanya, Tanya." Umiling-iling siya. "Hindi mo pa ako kilala. I can make
your life a living hell."
Pagkasabi nun ay tumalikod na siya. Napahawak ako sa counter. Parang gustong
bumigay ng tuhod ko ng makaalis siya, parang naubos lahat ng lakas ko. Huminga ako
ng malalim at sinubukan kalmahin ang sarili ko.
Nakatingin at naghihintay ang customer na kaninang nakapili sa likod ni Margaux sa
akin kaya pinilit kong umarteng normal. Ngumiti ako at kinuha ang order niya.

"Hey." Nakangiting bati ni Wayne nang lumabas ako galing sa locker room. Lumapit
ako sa kanya at ipinulupot niya ang bisig niya sa baywang ko. Regular akong
sinusundo ni Wayne sa trabaho at sa eskwelahan kaya hindi na ako nagulat ng makita
siya. "How was your day?"
"Okay naman." Yumakap din ako sa kanya at tumingala. "Ikaw?"
"We had an exam today in Algebra." Hinalikan niya ako sa noo.
"Nakapasa ka naman?"
"Of course. Tinandaan ko lahat ng tinuro mo sa akin, hindi ko na nga kailangan
kumopya kay Nick." Natatawang sabi niya.
Sabay kaming lumabas ng fast food restaurant at sumakay sa kotse niya. Tuwing may
pasok ako sa trabaho, gabi na ang uwi ko kaya hinahatid niya na ako ng diretso sa
bahay. Ayaw niya na daw kasing may masabi si Nanay. Kapag naman sa eskwelahan niya
ako sinusundo, medyo maaga pa ang uwi ko nun kaya pumupunta muna kami sa condo
niya.
"Is everything okay?" Sabi niya habang ang mga mata ay naka focus sa kalsada.
"Huh? Ah, oo..." Sagot ko.
"Are you sure? You're so quiet today." His brows furrowed. "Is it Luis? Is he
bothering you again?"
"Hindi... hindi si Luis."
"Then what's eating you? I can feel when something's off with you."
"Pagod lang siguro ako. Madami kasing costumer kanina." Dahilan ko na lang. Pero
ang totoo, hindi pa din mawala sa isip ko ang mga sinabi ni Margaux. Sa totoo lang
natatakot ako sa kung anong pwede niyang gawin. Hindi ko alam kung anong klaseng
tao si Margaux pero nararamdaman ko na kaya niyang gawin ang banta niya sa akin.
Nagdadalawang isip ako kung dapat ko bang sabihin kay Wayne iyon. Parang
napakababaw naman kasi. Wala naman talagang ginawa si Margaux kung hindi ang
pagbantaan ako kaya pinili ko nang huwag na lang sabihin sa kanya.
"Sinabi ko naman sa'yo, you don't have to work. I'll take care of you and tita
Esther. Ako na ang bahala sa pagpapagamot niya at sa rent niyo sa apartment, sa
lahat ng gastusin."
"Wayne?" Umayos ako ng upo para makaharap sa kanya.
"Yeah?"
"Ilang taon ka na?" Tanong ko sa kanya.
"Twenty one." He answered.
"Masyado ka pang bata para maging sugar daddy." Biro ko at hindi ko napigilan ang
mapahagikgik.
Napuno ng tawa niya ang buong kotse. "Oh, angel, you're killing me." He took my
hand with in his free hand and brought it to his lips. "Whatever's mine is yours
too, angel, you know that. Just as much as whatever's yours is mine."
"Bakit ako?" Bigla na lang kumawala ang mga salitang iyon sa bibig ko.
"What do you mean?"
I chewed on my bottom lip. Naisip ko ang sinabi ni Margaux kanina. Magandang lalaki
si Wayne, sigurado akong maraming babae ang nagkakandarapa sa kanya. "Maraming
babaeng d'yan na mas bagay sa'yo. Si Margaux maganda naman siya. Bakit ako ang
napili mo?"

"Do you really have to have a reason for loving?"

Hindi ako kumibo.
"I love you because, I don't know, you've become my safety net. My escape. You're
the only one I feel comfortable showing the hidden parts of myself, the parts that
still need time to heal. You've given me all the love I didn't think I deserve."
Naglaho ang pag-aalinlangan ko dahil sa mga sinabi ni Margaux kanina. Ngumiti ako
at binigyan siya ng halik sa pisngi bago ko idinantay ang ulo ko sa braso niya
habang magkahawak pa rin ang mga kamay namin.
"Mahal na mahal kita, Wayne. Ikaw lang ang lalaking mamahalin kita." Sabi ko.
"I love you too, angel, so much it scares me sometimes." He exhaled.

Chapter Eighteen
Wayne's POV

"Ed's throwing a party next Saturday. Huwag mong sabihin hindi ka na naman
pupunta?" Nick's eyebrow raised at me.
"What have you been up to lately anyway? You don't even hang out with us after
class anymore." Seth asked as we were sitting on the grass on the school field. We
decided to skip our first class and hang out here because we were ten minutes
anyway. Not to mention, the subject and the professor were both a bore.
I was about to answer when my phone rang. I excitedly took it out from my pocket
and read Tanya's name on the screen. The mere sight of her name made me smile. I
opened the mesage.
Papasok na ko sa school. Nasa klase ka na ba?
Instantly, my fingers started to type a reply.
I'm hanging out with my friends in the school field. Take care okay? Text me when
you get to school.
"Baliw na baliw ka sa chicks mo ah." Tristan grinned. "Kung hindi ka missing in
action, wala kang ginawa kung hindi magtext. Kulang na lang idikit mo sa'yo yung
babae mo."
"He's not even listening to us." Axel sighed.
"I am." I said, averting my eyes from the phone screen to them. "What were you
asking me again?"
"Are you going to come to Ed's party?" Asked Nick.
"Yeah, I'll bring Tanya with me."
"Ah yeah, sweet Tanya." Axel let out a wide smile. "She's one hot chick."
"Fuck off! She's my girl." I scowled.
"Everything with a pussy is hot to you." Seth snickered.
"Don't try to flirt with Tanya. I swear that would be the end of our friendship." I
jokingly warned him.
"Whatever happened to bros before hoes?" Nick butted in.
"Tanya is not a hoe. She's different from all the woman I've been with. She's for
keeps." I said.
"Mukha ngang malakas ang tama mo d'yan sa bago mo." Tristan commented.
I divereted the topic to something else because I really wasn't comfortable talking
about my love life. We were talking about the party when I saw Margaux walking
towards us, her hips swaying like a model's on a runway. I was sure she was heading
to where we were sitting. I wanted to stand up and leave. Oh Lord! I didn't want to
deal with whatever drama to bring.
"Hi, Wayne." She said in a cheery voice.
"Hey." I said in an uninterested tone, looking up at her. "Do you need anything?"
"Not really. Gusto lang kitang kamustahin."
"I'm good. Thank you."
"And how's Tanya?" She said with a wry smile on her face like if she knew a secret.
"Tanya's doing great." I said nonchalantly and furrowed my brows. "Why did you
ask?"
"Nothing. I just want to ask if you know anything about the Blue Book?" I knew from
her tone that she was implying something.
My heart began to race at the mention of the blue book. I swallowed, my throat dry
all of a sudden. My jaw clenched and my hands clenched into fists.
"Ipagpapalit mo na lang ako, sa isang call girl pa." She said in a mocking voice.
If she wasn't a woman, my fist would have landed straight in her face. I had to
take a deep breath to calm my raging nerves.
"Shut the fuck up!" My voice came out as a loud roar as I stood up from the grass.
She stiffened in surprise.
I stood just inches away from her, towering over her and my eyes glaring through
hers. "Leave Tanya out of this. You don't know anything about her."
She recollected herself, lifting her chin up in a confident manner. "I can't
believe this, Wayne! Nagpapakabaliw ka sa babaeng iyon. She's a whore."
"She is not a whore." I slowly said in a low but very firm voice. My fingertips
were twitching, I had to stop myself. I'd never hit a girl and I'd vow to myself
that I never would.
"If you think I'd give you up that easily then you're damn wrong! I won't give you
up, especially not to that call girl." She pursed her lips in annoyance before
turning around and marching away.
Tanya's POV
Naglalakad ako sa corridor papunta sa unang klase ko at napansin ko ang ilang mga
matang nakatingin sa akin. Hindi ko masyadong pinansin iyon dahil naisip ko baka
imagination ko lang iyon. Habang palapit ako ng palapit sa kwarto kung saan ang
klase ko napapansin kong may isang babaeng kinalabit ang katabi niya at itinuro
ako. Ang iba naman nagbubulungan habang nakatingin sa akin.
May mali ba sa akin? Maayos naman akong umalis sa bahay. May dumi ba sa mukha ko?
Magulo ba ang buhok ko?
"Hi, Tanya." Iang hindi ko kilalang lalaki ang humarang sa dinaraanan ko.
Pinilit kong ngumiti. "Hi."
"Libre ka ba after school? Baka gusto mong lumabas tayo?" Nakangising habang
nakatingin sa akin na para bang hinuhubaran ako.
"Sorry, may gagawin kasi ako." Sabi ko.
"Fully booked ka na siguro. Next time na lang." Sabi nito bago siya naglakad
palayo.
Pakiramdam ko binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. May alam ba siya tungkol doon? Bigla
akong kinabahan. Naramdaman ko ang malakas na pagkabago ng dibdib ko at pagpapawis
ng mga kamay ko. Baka naman iba lang ang ibig sabihin niya sa iniisip ko. Sana
naman hindi iyon.
Nagsisimula na akong ma concious sa mga tingin ng mga tao sa akin kaya lalo kong
binilisan ang paglalakad ko. Nagpakawala ako ng isang malalim na hininga ng sa
wakas ay makapasok na ako sa classroom. Tahimik na umupo ako sa isa sa mga silya.
Pero hndi pa din ako nakaiwas sa titig sa akin ng mga kaklase ko. Gusto kong
magtanong kung bakit tinititigan nila ako pero naunahan ako ng hiya. Para akong
natutunaw sa hiya sa mga tingin nila. Dahil wala pa ang prof namin, nilabas ko na
lang ang notebook ko at nagkunwaring busy sa pagsusulat.
Naririnig ko ang mahihina nilang bulungan habang nakatingin sa akin. Nakita ko pa
ang isa sa mga babae na itinuturo ako at agad din niyang ibinaba ang kamay niya ng
makita niya akong lumingon sa gawi nila. Sa totoo lang hindi na maganda ang
nararamdaman ko sa mga nangyayari, gusto ko nang tumayo sa kinauupuan ko at lumabas
sa kwartong iyon. At iyon ang gagawin ko ngayon. Ipinasok ko na ulit ang notebook
ko at nang akmang tatayo na ako biglang pumasok si Edna sa classroom. Halos patakbo
siyang umupo sa upuan sa tabi ko. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag.
"Tanya, alam mo na ba ang kumakalat na balita sa campus tungkol sa'yo?" Hingal na
hingal na sabi niya.
"Hindi..." Parang bumagsak ang puso ko sa sikmura ko. Palakas ng palakas ang tibok
ng dibdib ko hanag nakatingin ako kay Edna at hinihintay ang susunod na sasabihin
niya.
"Ito, o." May inabot siya sa akin na isang papel na nakatupi.
Kinuha ko iyon sa kanya at binuksan. Nakaprint doon ang isang page sa blue book,
ang page kung nasaan ako. Agad kong nabitawan ang papel na hawak ko. Para akong
tinakasan ng dugo ang buong katawan ko. Huminga ako ng malalim, pinipigil ang
luhang nagsisimulang mamuo sa mga mata ko.
"S-saan mo nakuha ito?" Pinigil kong huwag manginig ang boses ko.
"May mga nakadikit sa bulletin board at nakakalat sa buong campus. Nilinis na nga
kanina yan ng janitor pero may nagbalik ulit." Nakikita ko sa mga mata ni Edna ang
pag-aalala. "Kumakalat sa buong campus na... na prosti ka daw."
Ibinuka ko ang bibig ko para magsalita pero walang lumabas mula doon kaya isinara
ko na ulit. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong sabihin. Sa sobrang pagkagulat ko
hindi ko magawang makapag-isip ng maayos. Hindi pa tuluyan ma process ng isip ko
ang sinabi niya.
Agad kong dinampot ang bag ko at nagmamadaling lumabas ng classroom. Tinawag ako ni
Edna pero hindi ko siya pinansin. Gusto ko lang makaalis dito. Biglang bumuhos ang
mga luha ng makalabas ako sa classroom. Doon ko napansin ang ilang papel na
nakadikit sa dingding ng corridor. Yumuko ako sa sobrang kahihiyan at ayaw ko din
makita ang mga taong nakatingin sa akin na para bang isa akong palabas sa perya.
Patakbo akong lumabas sa eskwelahan at hingal na huminto nang nasa labas na ako.
Nanginginig ang mga tuhod ko kaya napupo na ako sa gilid ng hagdan sa harap ng
entrance. Inilabas ko ang phone ko mula sa bag at tinawagan si Wayne. Makalipas ang
ilang ring, narinig ko ang boses niya.
"Tanya?"
"Wayne, alam na nila." Pigil ang luhang sabi ko.
"What? Ano'ng alam na nila?" Bakas sa boses niya ang magkahalong lito at pag-
aalala.
"Alam nilang lahat na nasa blue book ako. Kalat na dito sa school." I couldn't help
the sob that rose from my throat.
"Where are you?" Rinig ko ang pagtagis ng mga bagang niya habang sinasabi niya
iyon.
"Nandito pa sa school." Sagot ko.
"Pupuntahan kita d'yan. Don't go anywhere." Sabi niya at bago pa ako makapagsalita
ay ibinaba niya na ang phone.
Isa lang ang alam kong pwedeng may kagagawan nito. Si Luis. Siya lang naman ang may
alam na nasa Blue Book ako. Hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa din magawang maniwala at
tanggapin na ang lalaking tinuring kong parang kapatid sa matagal na panahon ang
gagawa pa sa akin ng ganito. Pero pagkatapos niya akong dalhin sa motel noon? Dapat
pa ba akong magulat?
Wala pang sampung minuto nakita ko na ang paparating na kotse niya. Nang makababa
siya ng kotse, nilapitan niya agad ako at niyakap. He pulled away from the hug and
cupped my face in his hand.
"Are you okay?" Nag-aalalang tanong niya.
Tango lang ang naisagot ko.
Dumampi ang mga labi niya sa noo ko. "We'll fix this. Irereport natin ito sa school
office niyo."
He held me by my wrist and pulled me inside the school. Nakita ko ang pagbabago ng
reaksyon niya ng makita ang mga papel na nakadikit sa dingding. Nagtagis ang mga
bagang niya at nag-aapoy sa galit ang mga mata niya.
Binitawan niya ako at marahas na hinatak at tinanggal ang mga papel na nakadikit sa
dingding. Gulat na nakatingin sa kanya ang mga taong naroroon. Kahit ako nagulat
ako at napako ang mga paa ko sa kinatatayuan ko.
"Whoever fucking this!" Sabi niya habang hawak ang lukot na papel sa kamay niya.
Tumingin siya sa mga taong nanonood. "Who ever the fuck did this, I swear, you'll
pay! I'll make you regret you were ever born. Everything that's written on this
paper are all lies! Tanya is my girlfriend, I know her more than all of you do.
I'll be here to rip the head off of anybody who tries to hurt her in anyway."
"Wayne." Hinawakan ko siya sa kamay at pinisil iyon para pakalmahin siya.
Pinihit niya ang ulo niya sa akin. Nawala ang galit sa mukha niya at lumamlam ang
mga matang tinitigan niya ako. Hinawakan niya ang likod ng ulo ko at inilapit niya
ito sa kanya.
"Hindi ko hahayaan may manakit sa'yo." Bulong niya sa tainga ko. I found myself
wrapping my arms around his body. Being in his arms was my comfort zone, this is
where I was safe and happy.
Pumunta kami sa school office para ireport ang nangyari. Sabi nila gagawa sila ng
aksyon para mahuli kung sino ang gumawa nun at ipatatanggal nila ang mga printed
papers na nakadikit sa buong eskwelahan.

"Margaux knows about the blue book." Sabi ni Wayne nang makapasok kami sa kotse
niya.
Napauwang ang bibig ko sa gulat. "P-paano niya nalaman?"
"I don't know." Sumadal siya sa upuan niya at hinilot ang sentido. "I don't know
how she found out about the blue book. Hindi na ulit mangyayari ito. I swear to
God, I will do something about it. I will fucking burn every blue book that has you
in it."
"Pinuntahan ako ni Margaux noong isang linggo sa Burger King." I bit my bottom lip.
Napabalikwas siya at humarap sa akin. "And? Did she do anything to you?"
"Pinagbantaan niya ako na kapag hindi daw ako lumayo sa'yo, pagsisisihan ko daw."
Nagpakawala siya ng mahabang buntong-hininga. "That crazy bitch! Don't listen to a
thing she tells you."
"Natatakot ako." Pag-aamin ko. "Baka kung anong gawin niya."
"Listen to me." Ikinulong niya ang mukha ko sa mga palad niya at napilitan akong
titigan siya sa mga mata. "I've been telling you this over and over. I won't let
anyone hurt you. You have nothing to be scared of. Everything will be okay as long
as we have each other."
Bumaba ang ulo niya sa akin at hinalikan ako. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko,
ipinulupot ang bisig ko sa leeg niya at gumanti ng halik. Naniniwala ako sa sinabi
ni Wayne. Alam kong hindi niya ako pababayaan. Alam kong kapag kasama ko siya wala
akong dapat ikabahala.

Chapter Nineteen
Tanya's POV
"Nay, uminom po ba kayo ng gamot niyo?" Tanong ko habang hinihimas-himas ang likod
niya ng umubo siya. Dahil sa tulong ni Wayne, napatingin ko sa doktor si nanay
noong isang araw pati ang mga gamot ni nanay siya ang bumili. Sinabihan siya ng
doktor na magpahinga pero matigas ang ulo. Tumatanggap pa din siya ng patahi. Buti
nga ngayon, medyo maayos na ang lagay niya dahil noong mga nakaraang araw tuloy
tuloy ang pag-ubo niya.
"Uminom na ko kanina." Sagot niya.
"Hindi pa din ba nawawala yang ubo niyo?"
"Nako, huwag mo nga akong alalahanin. Nalamigan lang ako." Sagot niya naman sa
pagitan ng pag-ubo.
"Kasi naman Nay, magpahinga po kayo. Huwag muna kayong magtahi. Teka at kukunin ko
yung inhaler niyo." Iniwan ko muna si nanay at kinuha ang inhaler sa loob ng kwarto
niya. Inabot ko sa kanya iyon at ginamit niya.
"Ano'ng oras ka ba susunduin ni Wayne?" Tanong niya. Alam na ni nanay na boyfriend
ko si Wayne. Kaming dalawa ang nagtapat sa kanya at hindi naman siya tumutol. Sa
katunayan, mas lalo nga silang naging malapit ni Wayne. Madalas dito na
naghahapunan si Wayne kapag hinahatid niya ako.
"Parating na daw po siya." Sagot ko.
Tinignan ako ni nanay mula ulo hanggang paa at nakangiting bumalik sa mukha ko ang
mga mata niya. "Dalagang dalaga ka na talaga." Sabi niya at hinawi ang ilang hibla
ng buhok na nasa mukha ko at inipit sa likod ng tainga ko. "Habang tumatanda ka,
lalo mong nagiging kahawig ang ama mo." Biglang naglaho ang ngiti sa mga labi ni
nanay at nagbaba siya ng tingin. Alam kong hanggang ngayon mahirap pa rin para sa
kanya ang pagkawala ni tatay.
Ngumiti ako. "Syempre, kanino pa po ba ako magmamana kung hindi sa inyong dalawa.
Si nanay talaga."
Pareho kaming napalingon sa pinto nang may kumatok. Nagmamadaling binuksan ko iyon
at nakita si Wayne na nakatayo sa harap ng pinto.
"Hi." Bati niya sa akin bago naglakbay ang tingin niya sa katawan ko. "You look
beautiful."
Nahihiyang nagbaba ako ng tingin. "Hiniram ko nga lang 'tong damit na suot ko sa
kapitbahay."
Humiram ulit ako ng damit kay Sasha at nagpaayos ako sa kanya. Nagpalagay ng
konting makeup.
"Kahit naman ano'ng suotin mo maganda ka pa rin." Sabi niya at ipinulupot ang mga
bisig sa baywang ko at binigyan ako ng halik sa noo.
"O, Wayne, nandyan ka na pala." Narinig kong sabi ni nanay.
Nagulat si Wayne at agad akong binitiwan. Napahagikgik ako ng mahina.
"Good evening po, tita Esther." Sabi niya.
"Magandang gabi naman." Sagot ni nanay. "Pupunta daw kayong party?"
"Opo." Tumango si Wayne. "Party ng schoolmate ko."
"Ganon ba? Bago magmadaling araw dapat nandito na kayo." Paalala ni nanay.
"Opo, nay." Sabi ko.
"Wayne, ingatan mo ang anak ko."
"Makakaasa po kayo, tita." Nakangiting sabi niya at ipinulupot ang bisig niya sa
likod ng baywang ko.
Nagpaalam na kami kay nanay at umalis na. Sumakay kami sa kotse niya at makaraan
ang ilang minuto huminto ang kotse niya sa isang malaking bahay. Nasa loob pa lang
kami ng kotse ay rinig na rinig na namin ang malakas na tugtog na nanggagaling sa
loob ng bahay.
Bigla akong kinabahan. Alam kong ibang mga tao ang makakasalumuha ko dito. Mga
galing sa may perang pamilya. Naisama na ako ni Wayne noon sa isang party pero
hanggang ngayon kinakabahan pa din ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako kikilos, kung
paano ko sila patutunguhan, at kung bagay ba ang ayos ko.
Lumabas na kami sa kotse. Nakakawit ang kamay ko sa braso niyang pumasok kami sa
loob ng bahay. Halos nagkakadikitan na sa dami ng tao sa loob. May mga
nagkukuwentuhan, may mga nagsasayawan at nanlaki ang mga mata ko ng mahigap nito
ang isang babae at isang lalaking naghahalikan sa sulok. Ipinulupot ni Wayne ang
mga bisig niya sa akin, shielding me with his body as we made our way through the
crowd.
Agad namin nakita ang mga kaibigan ni Wayne na nakaupo sa sofa sa salas.
Namumukhaan ko na sila dahil pinakilala na sila sa akin ni Wayne noon.
"Finally, you're here." Sabi ni Seth.
"Hey, Tanya." Ngumiti sa akin si Axel.
Naramdaman kong humigpit ang hawak ni Wayne sa balakang ko.
"Hi." Sagot ko sa kanya.
"We thought you were going to ditch us again." Sabi ni Nick.
"May upuan pa dito." Itinuro ni Tristan ang isang bakantang upuan sa tabi niya.
Umupo si Wayne doon at hinatak niya ako dahilan para mapaupo ako sa kandungan niya.
Tatayo na sana ako, hindi magandang tignan na nakaupo ako sa kandungan ng lalaki.
Hinawakan ni Wayne ang baywang ko at inupo ako pabalik sa kandungan niya.
"Where are you going?" Tanong niya.
"Tatayo na lang ako." Sabi ko.
"Why?"
"Ano ka ba? Nakakahiya kasi, madaming nakakakita."
"I don't care. Let them see us." Nakangising bulong niya. "So they'll know you're
mine."
"Now I understand why you're so crazy about her." Sabi ni Nick habang nakatingin sa
akin. "You're looking lovely tonight, Tanya."
"Thank you." Nahihiyang sabi ko.
"Hey, back off! She's mine." Wayne said in a half-joking tone.
"I know, I know." Itinaas ni Nick ang kamay niya na parang sumusuko.
Wayne's friends had been wonderful to me. Tinrato na din nila ako na parang isa sa
mga kaibigan nila. Nakikinig lang ako sa kwentuhan at biruan nila, minsan
nagtatanong-tanong sila tungkol sa akin. Madali akong naging kumportable sa kanila.
Naikwento din ni Wayne na nasa parehong compound kami nakatira ni Tristan.
"Kaya pala mukhang pamilyar ka." Sabi ni Tristan.
"Palagi kitang nakikita. Madalas ka din ikwento sa akin ni Sasha. Crush na crush ka
nga niya." Natatawang sabi ko.
"Oh that woman." Natatawang umiling siya.
"I can't believe this!" Natigilan ako ng marinig ang pamilyar na boses ng babae.
Lumingon ako sa gawi niya at nakita siyang nakatayo at nakatingin sa akin.
Nakatiklop ang mga braso niya sa dibdib at nakataas ang isang kilay. "I can't
believe they allow a whore in here!"
"Margaux! Stop it!" Galit na asik ni Wayne at tumayo ito.
"Hmp!" Isang nang uuyam na ngiti lang ang isinagot niya kay Wayne bago tumalikod.
Akala ko aalis na siya ng bigla niyang damputin ang microphone sa gilid ng kwarto
katabi ng malaking stereo. Tumigil ang kanta at tumahimik ang buong bahay.
"Ladies and gentlemen. Can I have your attention please?" Sabi niya habang
nakaharap sa microphone. "Gusto ko lang sabihin sa inyo na may special guest tayong
gabi. It's none other than the Blue Book's whore, Tanya." Inilahad niya ang kamay
niya sa direksyon ko. "That girl right over there is a whore. Isa siyang bayarang
babae."
Naramdaman kong nanginig ang buong katawan ko ng dumapo ang tingin sa akin ng mga
tao. Nanlamig ang buong katawan ko at nablangko ang isip ko. My heart felt like it
dropped into my stomach. Pakiramdam ko naubusan ako ng dugo sa buong katawan ko.
Agad na lumapit si Wayne sa kanya at marahas na hinaklit ang microphone mula sa
kamay niya. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Isa sa mga kaibigan ni Wayne, hindi ko na alam kung sino ang humawak sa balikat ko
at inupo ako.
"Bakit? Totoo naman, di ba? POKPOK YANG BABAENG YAN!" Sabi niya habang tinuturo
ako. "Maiintindihan ko pa kung ibang babae ang ipinalit mo sa akin. Pero siya! My
God, Wayne, nakaka-offend!"
"Shut the fuck up! Wala kang alam tungkol kay Tanya!" Napuno ng malakas na boses
niya ang buong kwarto.
"I know she's a whore! A dirty disgusting whore who'd sleep with any man for mone-"
"She is not a whore! She was a virgin when I had her!" Mariin na sabi ni Wayne.
"Ikaw? Pang-ilan na ba akong lalaking nakakama sa'yo?"
Tumigas ang expresyon ng mukha ni Margaux at hindi siya nakapagsalita. Naiiiling-
iling na tumalikod sa kanya si Wayne at naglakad palapit sa akin. Kinuha niya ang
kamay ko at hinatak ako.
Nang nasa labas na kami, ikinulong niya sa mga palad niya ang mukha ko. "Are you
okay?"
Nagsimulang magtubig ang mga mata ko at sinubsob ko ang mukha ko sa dibdib niya.
Hindi pa ako napahiya ng ganon sa buong buhay ko. Mas masakit kasi mga kaibigan ni
Wayne ang nandoon. Baka ikahiya niya na ako dahil alam na nila ang totoo.
"Alam na nilang." Humihikbing sabi ko. "Nahihiya ako sa mga kaibigan mo. Ano na
lang ang sasabihin nila sa'yo?"
"First of all, you're not a whore." Isinuklay niya ang mga daliri niya sa buhok ko.
"Second, my friends kind of already know. Third, I don't give a damn what people
think. Kapag may sinabi silang hindi maganda tungkol sa'yo ibig sabihin nun hindi
ko sila totoong kaibigan."
Inipit niya ang baba ko sa pagitan ng mga daliri niya at inangat ang mukha ko.
Pinunasan niya ang mga luha ko. "Don't cry, okay? Wala akong pakialam sa sasabihin
ng ibang tao. Ako ang mas higit na nakakakilala sa'yo kaysa sa kanila."
Dinampian niya ako ng isang mabilis na halik sa labi. "Nothing else matters to me.
Just you. Will you smile for me, angel?"
Ginawa ko ang sinabi niya. Ngumiti ako.
"That's more like it. Your smile is my weakness, do you know that? Of all the woman
I've known in my life none has made me fall for them so completely and so
instantly."

Chapter Twenty
Tanya's POV
Iminulat ko ang mga mata ko at mukha ni Wayne ang una kong nakita. Nakapikit ang
mga mata niya at mahimbing siyang natutulog. Hinayaan ko muna ang sarili kong
panoorin siya ng ilang minuto. Hindi ko mahiwalay ang tingin ko sa maamo niyang
mukha. Tumaas ang isang kamay ko para haplusin ang pisngi niya.
Siya ang unang lalaking minahal ko at sigurado akong siya din ang huli. I couldn't
see myself loving any other guy but him. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mga pwedeng
mangyari, maraming bagay ang walang kasiguraduhan pero ang sigurado ko lang mahal
ko si Wayne, siya lang ang lalaking mamahalin ko. Siya ang sumagip sa akin at sa
nanay ko. Minahal niya ako sa kung ano ako at sa kung ano ang inisip niyang ako.
Minahal niya ako ng walang kapalit.
Lumingon ako sa orasan na nakapatong sa bedside table. Ten thirty na ng gabi.
Maingat kong tinanggal ang bisig niya na nakapulupot sa baywang ko. Dahan-dahan
akong bumaba sa kama. Pinulot ko ang mga damit ko at sinuot ang mga iyon. Hindi ko
na siya ginising dahil ayoko maistorbo siya sa pagtulog at saka maaga pa naman,
pwede pa akong magcommute pauwi.
Dinampian ko siya ng halik sa pisngi bago ako umalis. Nagjeep ako pauwi. Pagdating
ko sa apartment, hindi pa ako nakakalapit sa pinto namin nang salubingin ako ng
kapitbahay. Isa sa mga kaibigan ni nanay.
"Tanya, kanina ka pa namin sinusubukan tawagan." Sabi ni aling Chona. Agad akong
kinabahan sa reaksyon ng mukha niya, dun pa lang malalaman mong may nangyaring
hindi maganda.
"Bakit po?" Agad na tanong ko. Naramdaman kong bumilis ang pagtibok ng puso ko.
"Ang nanay mo sinugod sa ospital. Nahihirapan huminga."
"P-po?!" Parang nanlambot ang mga tuhod ko sa sinabi niya at napahawak ako sa
dingding para hindi ako tuluyang mabuwal.
"Kasama siya ng kaibigan mong lalaki, yung palagi mong kasama dati kasama yung isa
mo pang kaibigan... si... si... ano nga bang pangalan nun?"
"Si Luis po?"
"Oo, yun nga yata." Sagot ni aling Chona.
Wala sa sariling napakuyom ang mga nanginginig na palad ko. Lalo akong kinabahan.
Alam kong may kinalaman si Luis sa nangyari kay nanay, alam ko na ang dahilan kung
bakit siya nasa ospital ngayon.
"S-saan pong ospital dinala si nanay?"
"Sa Sta. Ana siya dinala. Dalian mo at puntahan mo na ang nanay mo. Kailangan ka
niya."
Agad akong umalis pagkasabi niya. Pumunta ako sa ospital at ipinagtanong sa
information ng emergency room kung nasaan ang nanay. May ibinigay silang room
number sa akin. Nang naglalakad ako papunta sa kwartong iyon, nakita ko si Luis na
nakaupo sa tabi ng pinto. Tumayo siya ng makita ako at lumapit sa akin.
"Tanya..." Sinubukan niya akong yakapin pero mabilis akong nakaiwas.
"Huwag kang lalapit sa akin at huwag na huwag mo kong hahawaka!" Mariin na sabi ko
habang naniningkit ang mga mata ko sa galit na nakatingin sa kanya. "Masaya ka na
ba ha?"
"Hindi ko sinasadya... hindi ko akalain..." Isinuklay niya ang daliri niya sa buhok
niya. "Maniwala ka, hindi 'to ang gusto kong mangyari."
"Nakiusap ako sa'yo, Luis! Alam mo ang kalagayan ni nanay, sana naisip mo iyon."
Nangingilid ang luhang sabi ko. Itinulak ko siya sa dibdib. "Umalis ka na dito!
Ayoko nang makita ang pagmumukha mo kahit kailan! Akala ko kaibigan kita... tapos
ikaw pa ang gagawa sa akin ng ganito!"
Tuluyan nang bumagsak ang mga luha ko at humagulgol ako. Nanginginig ang buong
katawan ko, hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa sobrang galit o sa takot para sa nanay
ko o pareho.
Hinawakan ako ni Luis sa magkabilang kamay ko. "Maniwala ka sa akin, Tanya, hindi
ko talaga sinasadya. Gusto ko lang naman na lumayo ka kay Wayne."
Marahas na binawi ko ang mga kamay ko mula sa kanya. "Kapag may nangyari kay nanay,
hinding-hindi kita mapapatawad sa ginawa mo!"
Pinahid ko ang mga luha ko bago ako tumalikod sa kanya at pumasok sa kwarto. Isang
public room iyon. May mga nadaanan akong ibang mga pasyenteng nakahiga sa hospital
bed. May iba malakas, ang iba naman nanghihina na, iba't ibang pasyente, iba't
ibang sakit at mga puting tela lang ang pumapagitna sa kanila.
Halos sa pinakadulo na ang pwesto ni nanay. Nakapikit ang mga mata niya at may
oxygen mask na nakakabit sa kanya. Umupo ako sa gilid ng kama. Pigil na pigil ang
luha ko. Bata pa lang ako iyakin na ako at ayaw na ayaw ni nanay na nakikita akong
umiiyak. Lalong lalo na kung siya ang dahilan.
Kinuha ko ang isang kamay niya at hinawakan ko iyon sa dalawang kamay ko. Binuksan
niya ang mga mata niya at ngumiti ang mga mata niya sa akin.
"Nay, kamusta na po kayo?" Sinubukan kong huwag manginig ang boses ko dahil sa
pagpigil ng mga luha ko.
"Okay lang ako." Tinanggal niya ang oxygen mask niya bago magsalita.
"Nay, ibalik niyo po iyan baka mahirapan po kayong huminga." Sabi ko at nang
tangkain kong ibalik iyon ay umiwas siya.
"Huwag kang mag-alala. Maayos na ang lagay ko."
Napanatag naman ang loob ko sa sinabi niya.
"Magpahinga lang po kayo, nay, ha?" Umangat ang isang kamay ko sa buhok niya at
hinaplos haplos iyon.
Naramdaman kong pinisil ni nanay ang kamay kong nakahawak pa rin sa kanya at
lumamlam ang mga mata niya. "Totoo ba ang sinabi ni Luis?"
"Nay..." Nagbaba ako ng tingin at napakagat sa pang-ibabang labi ko. "Mas
makakabuti kung magpahinga po muna kayo."
"Totoo bang ibinenta mo ang sarili mo?" Lalong lumakas ang boses ni nanay kahit
halatang hirap siya sa pagsasalita. Alam kong hindi niya palalampasin ito ngayon.
"Totoo po..." Mahinang sabi ko. Pakiramdam ko nanuyo ang lalamunan ko kaya lumunok
ako.
"Bakit mo ginawa iyon? Nagsinungaling ka sa akin." May halong hinanakit na sabi
niya. "Ang akala ko nobyo mo si Wayne, yun pala..." Umiling-iling siya.
"Nay, mahal po ako ni Wayne at mahal ko din siya. Opo, ibinenta ko po ang sarili ko
sa kanya pero nirespeto niya ako. Alam niyang kailangan ko ng tulong niya at hindi
niya sinamantala iyon. Tinulungan niya po ako, tinulungan niya po tayo." Halos
humihikbing sabi ko.
"Anak, hindi mo pa rin dapat ginawa iyon." Bakas sa mukha niya ang disappointment.
"Gipit na gipit na po kasi tayo sa pera. Hindi po sapat yung sinuweldo ko sa
pagtatrabaho sa fast food chain at saka natanggalan po ako ng scholarship sa
school. Iyon lang po kasi ang naisip kong paraan."
"Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi sa akin ang mga ito? Dapat may nagawa ako." May
pagsisisi sa boses niya. "Hindi dapat ganito ang buhay mo."
"Nay, huwag niyo na po alalahanin iyon. Tapos na po iyon. Ang mahalaga okay ka po
ngayon."
Matagal kaming nag-usap ni nanay. Ipinaliwanag ko sa kanya ang sitwasyon namin ni
Wayne na madali niya naman naintindihan. Napalapit na din kasi ang loob ni nanay sa
kanya kaya hindi na siya nahirapan tanggapin.
"Huwag mong sisihin si Luis, anak." Sabi ni nanay. "Hindi niya kasalanan kung bakit
ako nandito. Mahina na talaga ang katawan ko."
Humikab na siya pagkasabi nun at ipinikit ang mga mata niya. Ikinabit ko ulit ang
oxygen mask sa kanya at hinalikan siya sa noo. Tahimik kong pinanood si nanay
habang natutulog siya. Ilang minuto ang lumipas bago dumating ang doktor para
suriin siya. Kinuha ang temperature niya, ang heartbeat at kung anu-ano pa.
"Doc, ano pong problema kay nanay?" Tanong ko nang matapos niya itong i-check up.
"May coronary artery disease ang pasyente." Paliwanag ng doktor. Alam kong matagal
nang may sakit sa puso si nanay kaya hindi na ako nabigla doon. "Numinipis ang
daluyan ng dugo sa puso ng nanay mo, yun ang dahilan kung bakit nahirapan siyang
huminga kanina."
"Magiging okay naman po siya, di ba?"
"Stable na ang kundisyon niya pero kailangan niya pa rin mag-stay sa ospital para
maobserbahan namin siya." Sabi ng doktor.
Nagpasalamat ako sa kanya bago siya umalis at bumalik ako sa tabi ni nanay. Kinuha
ko ang kamay niya at hinilig ang ulo ko doon.
Wayne's POV
I moved my arm over next to me hoping to warm myself up against Tanya's skin but
was dissapointed when it only came into contact with the cold matress. Even though
my lids were still heavy, I forced my eyes open. There was no Tanya beside me. I
grabbed the pillow next to me and my arms wrapped around it as I would do to her if
she was here with me. It smelled of her. The scent of her skin on the pillow drove
me crazy. Her natural scent filling my nosetril, the aroma reflecting her gentle
charm and soft nature. indulged myself for a moment, just breathing her while a
picture of the hot, passionate love making we had last night formed in my mind.
It was already six am when I looked at the clock on the bedside table. I figured
she must've already gone home. I grabbed my phone and saw her name on the screen.
10:23 pm
Hindi na ko nagpaalam sayo kasi ang himbing ng tulog mo. I love you, Wayne. <3
I couldn't help but smile after I had read her message. My fingers instantly typed
a reply.
Just woke up. I love you too, angel. Thank you for last night, you were wonderful.
Hope you got home safe. Text me back as soon as you read this message.
Though you'd know she was inexperienced, she was a natural in bed. The good thing
about her was that she was willing to learn and explore.
Not a minute later my phone vibrated. I looked at the screen and Tanya's name
popped up. I eagerly opened her message.
Good morning. Nakatulog ka ba ng maayos? Hindi na ako nakauwi sa bahay, dumiretso
agad ako sa ospital.
My heart felt like it dropped in the pit of my stomach as I read her last text
message. Worry took over me.
What are you doing at the hospital? Is everything okay?
I just looked at my phone after sending the message to her and waited for her
reply. That one minute it took for her to reply felt like a whole hour.
Si nanay sinugod sa ospital kagabi. Okay na siya ngayon pero kailangan pa daw namin
magstay kasi inoobserbahan pa siya ng mga doktor.
I typed in a reply.
What hospital are you at?
She texted me the hospital. I jumped out of my bed and went straight into the
bathroom to take a quick shower.
It took me less than thirty minutes to get to the hospital. They were in the room
along with 10 or more sick patients. I found Tanya sitting on a chair next to tita
Esther's bed, her head resting on the edge of the bed next to her mother's hand.
They were both asleep when I came in.
I touched Tanya's shoulder, she instantly flinched and looked up at me.
"Wayne, kanina ka pa ba nandito?" She asked.
I gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I actually just got here." I gazed at tita
Esther, she was still asleep with an oxygen mask on her. Tita Esther doesn't look
too well. Her face was pale and she looked like she had aged a few years. "How's
tita Esther?"
"Sa awa naman ng Diyos, stable daw ang kundisyon niya pero inoobserbahan pa." She
explained.
"We'll move her to a private room." I said.
"Hindi na. Inoobserbahan na lang si nanay, baka palabasin na din naman kami ng
doktor niya."
"Hangga't hindi pa siya pinalalabas, I want her in a private room. Baka mahawa pa
sa ibang may sakit dito si tita Esther at magtagal pa siya lalo dito."
Her eyes softened as she looked at me and she gave me a smile of resignation. And
then her expression soon shifted into a different one.
"Wayne, alam na ni nanay." She said, almost in a whisper. "Sinabi sa kanya ni Luis
at sinabi niya kay nanay ang tungkol sa atin."
I felt a surge of anxiety. "And what did she say?"
"Syempre, hindi siya natuwa." She sighed. "Pero ipinaliwanag ko naman sa kanya ang
lahat."
I lightly carressed her soft, pinkish cheek with the back of my hand. "I hope she
doesn't hate me."
"Wag kang mag-alala, hindi galit sa'yo ang nanay." She took my hand that was
carressing her cheek and brought it to her lips to give it a gentle kiss.
"Did you bring her here?" I asked.
She shook her head. "Pag-uwi ko, sinabi sa akin nang kapitbahay na nasa ospital na
si nanay. Si Luis ang kasama niya dito kagabi."
"Was this Luis' fault? Siya ba ang dahilan kung bakit nandito si tita Esther sa
ospital?" I asked with an involuntary growl.
"Hindi daw natin dapat isisi kay Luis ang nangyari." There was sadness in her tone
and eyes as she looked at her mother. "Sa totoo lang, wala na akong pakialam. Ang
mahalaga okay si nanay ngayon. Sana lang gumaling na siya."
"She will get better. I'll do everything in my power to make sure of that." I
promised.
They moved tita Esther into a private suite just as I asked them to. She was in a
vulnerable condition and being around other sick people wouldn't do her any good.
The room had a hospital bed, and a couch you could pull out and it turns into a
bed.
"Salamat, Wayne." Sabi ni Tanya habang magkatabi kami sa couch at nakatingin siya
kay tita Esther. "Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko kung wala ka sa tabi ko."
I protectively wrapped an arm around Tanya, she snuggled closer to me. "I wouldn't
know what to do without you too. You don't know this but you saved me..."
"Saved you? Saan?" She looked up at me with eyes as innocent as a baby's, you could
see the innocence and tenderness in it. She was so soft and I, well... I was
hardened. I never had a strong stable supportive relationship, even with my
parents. I had never let my guards down until I met her and it felt so good to
finally have someone know the real you, in all your vulnerability. She gave me the
stability and support that I needed but hadn't gotten from anyone, even from my own
family. Before her I felt like I was just being blown away, everything was just
tossing and turning me about and then she happened and I felt like I'd finally
found my solid ground.
"From myself." I said, as I played with a few strands of her hair with my fingers.
"I'm not sure how it happened but all I know is that when you came into my life you
changed everything. You made me feel like I have a purpose. You made the bad seem
bearable and the good so much better that I could ever imagine. I love you, Tanya,
and I'll never get tired of telling you that."
"I love you too, Wayne. Mahal na mahal na mahal kita." She gave me a peck on my
jaw.
I didn't notice that we both fell asleep while we were cuddled together until the
sound of the door opening woke me up. My eyes fluttered open and I saw a head
peaking through the door. I blinked, trying to focus my still dazed vision. When I
saw who it was, my spine straightened stiffly.
I instantly stood to my feet and my sudden movement woke Tanya up. I charged at
Luis before he could even step inside the room. I shoved him out of the room and
closed the door behind me.
"Hindi ka pa ba nakuntento sa ginawa mo? You even have the guts to come here?" I
said in a controlled voice as I didn't want to draw any attention from the medical
staff.
"Hindi ikaw ang binisita ko dito, si tita Esther." He said in a harsh tone.
"Fuck you! Kung hindi dahil sa kagaguhan mo, wala siya dito!" My teeth were
grinding against each other, trying to control my anger. If we weren't in the
hospital and tita Esther wasn't in the room behind me, i would have beaten him into
pulp.
"Hindi ba pareho lang naman tayo?" He said looking at me with eyes narrowed into
slits. "Kung makapagsalita ka akala mo napakalinis mo."
"You knew her condition. Alam mong makakasama sa kanya iyon. You did this to her,
you fucker."
"Sinabi ko iyon kasi kailangan niyang malaman ang totoo. Kailangan niyang malaman
na hindi ka kasing bait ng inaakala niya, na ginagamit mo lang parausan si Tanya-"
"Don't you fucking talk about Tanya like that." I said as I slammed my fist into
his jaw.
Sinapo niya ang mukha niya bago tumingin sa akin. His eyes were burning with anger
and threw back at him an equally menacing glare. His hand raised up to punch me
back but I was quick to block his punch with my arm.
The door opened and Tanya came out of it, quietly closing the door behind her. She
got in between us and pushed us away from each other.
"Ano ba kayong dalawa? Hanggang dito ba naman sa ospital?" She said glancing at
Luis and me. "Please lang kahit ngayon lang, huwag naman kayong mag-away. Pag
nalaman ni nanay 'to baka lalo siyang ma stress."
"I'm sorry, Tanya... gusto ko lang naman masigurong ligtas si tita Esther." Luis'
voice softened. I sneered at him as he acted like an innocent sheep in front of my
girlfriend.
"Okay na si nanay. Pwede bang umuwi ka na lang muna, Luis." Tanya politely asked.
"Bago ako umalis, gusto ko muna sanang magpaliwanag." He took in a deep breath, his
eyes looking like they were begging her. "Gusto kong malaman mo na hindi ko
intensyon na masama. Pumunta ako sa inyo para humingi ng tawad. Alam kong iniisip
mo na ako ang may kasalanan sa pagkalat ng blue book sa eskwelahan pero hindi ako
iyon. Wala akong alam doon. Mahal kita, alam mong hindi kita kayang ipahamak ng
ganon."
"Then who the fuck did it huh?" I snarled at him, having enough of it.
"Si Margaux, ang ex mo!" He looked at me with dagger eyes. "Noong gabing sinundo mo
si Tanya sa school at nang makita mong kasama niya ako, nilapitan niya ako
pagkaalis niyo. Narinig niya ang away natin at nagtanong siya ng mag bagay tungkol
kay Tanya. Sabi niya tutulungan niya akong mapaglayo kayo. Sabi niya siya na ang
bahala at gagawa siya nang paraan kaya napilitan akong sabihin ang tungkol sa blue
book."
Margaux must've followed me that night. She tried to talk to me as I was leaving
the school to pick Tanya up but I kind of just shrugged her off.
He gazed at her, his expression changing."Tanya, maniwala ka sa akin. Gusto ko lang
talagang humingi ng tawad sa'yo kaso 'di ko napigilan sabihin kay tita Esther ang
totoo. Naisip ko rin na baka pag sinabi ko may magawa siya. Hindi ko akalain na
hahantong sa ganito."
I saw how Tanya's hard face softened as she listened to Luis' explanations. I knew
Tanya too well. She was too forgiving, too gentle, too naive, too fragile for this
world.
"Kung gusto mo, lumuhod ako sa'yo, kay tita Esther... gagawin ko." Luis said.
"Leave." I said in a hard, firm tone. "Just fucking leave."
Tanya took in a deep breath. "Umalis ka na, Luis. Please, iwan mo na kami."
Luis bowed his head, his shoulders sagging as he turned his back to us and walked
away. I encircled my arms around Tanya and kissed her.
"Everything will be okay." I murmured against the soft skin of the side of her
head.

Chapter Twenty One

https://youtu.be/QkqP1ar_z_A
Wayne's POV
I opened the door to tita Esther's hospital room and stepped in. I fell asleep last
night on the couch with Tanya and left early in the morning to take a shower and to
get us something to eat. I brought some food from the restaurant I saw on the way
back here.
Tanya was still sleeping peacefully on the couch, on the same position as I left
her in, when I got back. Tita Esther turned her head to me. Her gentle face was
sunken in and she was pale as a paper but when she smiled at me, she radiated. Now
I knew where Tanya got her smile. Tita Esther was thin and frail-looking but you
could see that she'd been undoubtly beautiful in her younger years. Tanya doesn't
look much like her mother, magkaiba sila ng ganda. But they both bring this calming
presence, maybe it was because of their modesty, their gentle demeanor, and pensive
softness of their form.
Tita Esther was the closest to a mother I have ever had. She became a special part
of my life, she'd easily gotten under my skin. I'd never remember my mother cooking
for me, I'd never had anyone in my family ask how I was doing, how was school, or
how my day went. Tanya and her were the family I never had. As a child, I was
always expected to be the parent. Picking up my pass out drunk mother from the
marble floor, checking up on dad because she knew he was with another woman, and
trying to prevent everything else from falling apart.
She lifted frail hand and motioned for me to come to her. I took a few steps and I
was beside her hospital bed.
"Gusto niyo po bang kumain. Nagdala ako ng breakfast." I said as I put the paper
bag on the table next to her bed.
She shook her head and reached for her oxygen mask, taking it off. "Gusto kitang
makausap."
I swallowed feeling my throat get tight. I knew right then what she wanted to talk
about. I grabbed a chair and sat next to her bed.
"Tita, gusto ko pong magpaliwanag." I started. "Alam kong sinabi na po sa'yo ni
Tanya ang totoo. I'm not going to say that what Luis said were all lies but they
were not the entire truth. Nakilala ko si Tanya dahil sa Blue Book. Yes,my original
intention was not good but I fell in love with her. I fell so deeply and madly in
love with her."
Her eyes bore sadness but she let out a small smile. "Alam kong mahal mo siya. Sa
kilos mo pa lang alam ko na. Nararamdaman ko." She looked away from me and her
voice started to quiver. "Ako ang dahilan kung bakit niya kinailangan pumasok sa
ganong trabaho. Kung bakit pa kasi ako nagkasakit."
I took her hand and squeezed it. "Don't blame yourself, Tanya wouldn't want that."
"Wayne, anak." I felt her squeeze my hand back. "Alagaan mo si Tanya. Alam kong
mahal na mahal niyo ang isa't isa. Huwag mo siyang pababayaan. Ipangako mo sa akin
yan."
"Tita Esther..." My voice weakened.
"Gusto kong masigurong magiging maayos ang buhay niya. Ipangako mo sa akin na hindi
mo pababayaan si Tanya."
"Opo." I finally said.
For the first time in a while I could see through the sharp bones that protude on
her face some semblance of content and happiness. "Alam mo si Tanya, mabait na bata
yan. Pero napakaiyakin. Madaling masaktan, madaling magdamdam. Kaya iingat mo
siya."
"Opo." I answered. But then my brows furrowed in confusion. "Tita, why are you
telling me all these?"
"Mahina na ako, Wayne. Hindi na kaya ng katawan ko." She smiled in the most calm
and serene way.
"I don't understand." I shook my head.
"Matagal ko nang alam na darating din ang araw na ito. Noon pa binigyan na ng
doktor ng taning ang buhay ko."
My chest constricted painfully, my throat tightened as I felt warm tears starting
to fill my eyes. "Don't say that. Baka naman may lunas pa. I'll talk to your
doctor, Tita. No... you're not going to... I can't even say it."
She shook her head. I couldn't quite believe it yet. It was hard to take in. I just
couldn't believe how calmly she was saying all these things to me as if we were
just talking about the weather. "Masyado na daw malala ang kundisyon ko. Hindi na
kayang gamutin at isa pa, tanggap ko na ang kalagayan ko. Si Tanya na lang..." She
gazed at Tanya who was sleeping peacefully, oblivious of what was going on. "Pero
panatag na naman ang loob ko dahil nandyan ka. Ikaw na ang bahala sa kanya."
"Does she know?"
The woman shook her head. "Wala pa siyang alam. Huwag mo muna sanang sabihin sa
kanya, gusto ko ako ang magsabi."
I was trying not to cry but it was so damn hard. I didn't know how long I could
hold it together. The tears were starting to blur my visions.
"O, wag mong sabihin iyakin ka din katulad ni Tanya." Natatawang sabi niya.
I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Kanina ka pa tahimik." Tanya noticed as we were sitting on the sofa next to tita
Esther's bed. The older lady had already fallen asleep. We talked for quite awhile.
We talked about Tanya. We talked about her fear of leaving her behind. We talked
about everything. I assured her that she had nothing to fear. I'd take care of her
daughter. My chest had been feeling heavy since that talk. It brought me a sense of
grief. "Bakit? May problema ba?"

I shook my head and gazed at Tanya's beautiful face.

She smiled at me. She had the sweetest smile I'd ever seen and I didn't know why I
felt like collapsing into tears. I never wanted that smile to go away. I knew it
would break her, once she finds out about tita Esther's condition. I took in a deep
breath and held my tears back. "Pagod ka ba? Gusto mong magpahinga muna?"
I shook my head. "I love you, you already know that right? That means I'm not just
here for the pretty parts. I'm here no matter what. Always remember that."
She let out a wider smile. "Alam ko."
I pulled her closer to me and kissed her on the forehead, and on the tip of her
nose, and on her lips. "I promise, no matter what happens, I'll always be here for
you. I will never leave you. If everything gets to overwhelming for you and you
feel like you can't handle it anymore, I'll be your strength."
"Ano bang pinagsasabi mo?" She chuckled. Her brows crinkled with confusion as she
looked at me.
"Wala lang. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na hindi kita iiwan kahit anong mangyari." I
said.
Her face softened, her arms wrapping around my torso. She comfortably leaned her
head against my chest. "Alam ko. Ako na yata ang pinakaswerteng babae sa mundo
dahil nandito ka sa tabi ko. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko kung wala ka."

Tanya's POV

Ilang araw na kami sa ospital pero hindi pa din bumubuti ang lagay ni nanay. Sa
tingin ko mas lalo ngang lumalala. Sa tuwing tatanungin ko ang mga doktor na
pumupunta dito para tignan siya, isa lang ang sinasabi nila, inoobserbahan pa din
daw nila siya. Nagsisimula na akong mag-alala dahil mag-iisang linggo na kami pero
wala pa rin silang ma-diagnose. Buti na lang nandito palagi si Wayne sa tabi ko
kung wala siya siguro di ko kakayanin ito mag-isa.
Kanina nahihirapan na naman huminga si nanay kaya tumawag agad ako ng nurse,
pumunta ang doktor at tinignan siya. Kinailangan siyang dalhin sa baba para ma x-
ray at i-ecg. Nahihiya na ako kay Wayne dahil alam kong malaki-laki na ang bill sa
ospital lalo na at nakaprivate room si nanay. Pinag-usapan na namin ni Wayne ang
tungkol doon kagabi, sabi ko naman sa kanya kahit paunti-unti babayaran ko sa kanya
iyon pero sabi niya wag ko na daw isipin iyon. Pinauwi ko muna si Wayne kaninang
umaga para naman makapag-ayos siya at makapasok sa klase. Ayaw pa nga niya pero
pinilit ko lang siya, halos hindi na kasi siya nakakapasok.
Pinanood ko habang itinutulak papasok sa kwarto ang wheelchair ni nanay. Nakasunod
ang doktor niya na si Dra. Castro sa likod. Pinasunod niya ako palabas sa kwarto
para kausapin.
"Kamusta naman po ang lagay ni nanay?" Tanong ko.
Sandali niya akong tinignan bago siya bumuntong-hininga. "Hindi maganda.
Kinukumbinsi niya akong wag sabihin sa'yo pero sa tingin ko kailangan mong malaman.
Her health is spiraling downward. She is not getting better. Hindi na siya
gagaling..."
Para akong pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa sa narinig ko. Lumunok ako nang
maramdaman kong parang may nakabara sa lalamunan ko. Nagsimulang mag-init ang sulok
ng mga mata ko.
"Ano'ng ibig mong sabihin?" Paos ang boses na sabi ko.
"Tanya, anak!" Narinig ko ang boses ni nanay mula sa loob ng kwarto.
Hindi ko na hinintay ang sasabihin ng doktor at tumakbo ako papasok ng kwarto.
Lalong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko sa nerbiyos pero nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang
makita siyang nakaupo pa rin sa wheelchair niya. Ngumiti siya sa akin.
"Nay, tinakot mo naman ako." Halos paiyak na sabi ko. "Bakit po?"
"Gusto kong lumabas." Sabi niya.
"Nay, di po pwede. May sakit po kayo."
"Ilang araw na akong nakakulong dito sa ospital. Pakiramdam ko para akong preso.
Gusto ko naman masikatan ng araw."
"Nay..."
"Sige na, kahit sandali lang." Parang batang pakiusap niya.
Lumingon ako sa direksyon kung saan nakatayo ang doktor. Bumuntong hininga siya
bago ako binigyan ng isang tango.
"Sige po, nay." May pag-aalinlangan na sagot ko.
Wala akong maintindihan sa mga nangyayari ngayon pero alam kong hindi ito maganda.
Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga at lumapit sa kanya. Itinulak ko ang wheelchair
palabas ng kwarto at ibinaba sa maliit na hardin sa likod ng ospital.
Maganda ang araw ngayon. Halos walang ulap sa langit pero hindi ganon kainitian,
mahangin pa din. Walang maririnig dito kung di ang tunog ng nagkiskisang mga
halaman sa di kalayuan at mga ibon.
Tumingin ako kay nanay. Nasisinigan ng araw ang mukha niya. Nakangiti siya,
nakapikit ang mga mata niya na para bang dinadama ang sinag ng araw at ang hangin
na humahaplos sa mukha niya. Huminga siya ng malalim. "Ang ganda ng panahon ngayon,
di ba?"
Umupo ako sa tabi niya at hinilig ang ulo ko sa kandungan niya katulad ng madalas
kong gawin noong bata ko. Naaalala ko nga noon, nakakatulog pa akong nakaunan sa
kanya at nagigising na lang ako nasa kama na ako. Marahang isinuklay niya ang mga
daliri niya sa buhok ko. Tumingala ako sa kanya at nagtama ang mga mata namin.
"Naaalala mo ba noong bata ka pa?" Nakangiting tanong niya. "Puro ka tanong. Bakit
maliwanag kapag umaga? Bakit may araw at saan napupunta ito kapag gabi na? Hinding-
hindi ka nauubusan ng tanong. Gustuhin ko mang sagutin ang lahat ng tanong mo,
hindi ko magawa. May mga bagay kasi na hindi ko pwedeng sagutin para sa'yo. May mga
bagay na dapat ikaw ang makaramdam at makaranas at kailangan mong alamin mag-isa."
"Nay..." Bumigat ang dibdib ko at parang nanikip ang lalamunan ko.
"Mahal na mahal kita, Tanya. Masyado na akong mahina, anak. Kahit gusto ko pang
lumaban hindi na kaya ng katawan ko. Maaaring panandalian lang ang katawan ko dito
sa mundo pero pagmamahal ko sa'yo, hindi mawawala iyon kahit pa wala na ako. Yan
ang palagi mong tatandaan."
"Nay naman eh." Tuluyan nang pumatak ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan.
"Huwag naman po kayong magsalita nang ganyan."
"Anak, tanggap ko na ang kalagayan ko. Hindi na ako magtatagal. Hindi ko lang
masabi sa'yo dahil ayaw kitang masaktan. Ayaw kong isipin mo na iiwan na kita."
Paos ang boses na sabi ni nanay. Alam kong nagpipigil din siya ng luha niya. Kahit
kailan hindi ko pa nakitang umiyak si nanay, kahit noong namatay ang tatay. Siguro
dahil alam niyang mahina at emosyonal ako at sa kanya ako sumasandal. Siya ang
pinagkukunan ko ng lakas. "Hindi kita iiwan, Tanya. Kahit mawala na ako, palagi
lang ako nandito para sa'yo."
"Nay, pano na yung mga plano natin? Di ba sabi ko kapag nakapagtapos ako ng pag-
aaral at nakapagtrabaho ako, ibibili kita ng bahay. Hindi mo na kailangan
magtrabaho. Hindi na tayo maghihirap. Hindi ba nangako po akong bibigyan kita ng
magandang buhay?" Humihikbing sabi ko.
"Binigyan mo naman ako ng magandang buhay. Naging mabuti kang anak. Alam kong
marami ka nang naisakripisyo para sa akin." Sabi niya habang patuloy ang marahang
paghaplos sa buhok ko. Ikinulong niya ang mukha ko sa mga palad niya at inangat ang
ulo ko para titigan siya. Namumula na din ang mga mata niya sa pagpigil ng mga
luha. Nakikita ko din sa mga iyon ang takot na pilit niyang itinatago. "Kailangan
ipangako mo sa akin na magiging okay ka kahit wala na ako."
Tinignan niya ako na parang alam niyang imposible ang hinihiling niya pero ayaw
niyang
Sunod-sunod akong umiling. "Hindi ko kayang wala ka..."
"Kaya mo." Mariin na sabi niya. "Ituloy mo pa rin ang mga ipinangako mo sa akin
kahit wala na ako. Gusto kong makatapos ka ng pag-aaral, gusto kong magkaroon ka ng
magandang buhay. Ipagawa mo pa din ang bahay na ipinangako mo sa akin. Kahit hindi
mo man ako pisikal na makita, palagi lang akong nasa tabi mo."
"Nay..." Tuluyan akong napahagulgol. I buried my face into her lap and cried habang
hinahaplos-haplos niya ang likod ko.
"Masaya akong aalis. Kaya gusto kong maging masaya ka din..."
Chapter Twenty Two
Tanya's POV
Nakita ko kung paanong nanghina ang katawan ni nanay hanggang sa isang araw hindi
na siya nagising. Sabi ng mga doktor nag fail na ang mga organs niya kaya na-
comatose siya. Alam kong darating ang araw na ito pero kahit pala ano pa lang handa
mo sa sarili kapag dumating na, mahirap pa rin.
Dinala na sa ICU si nanay. Kung anu-anong machine at tubo na ang nakakabit sa
katawan niya. Alam kong imposible na, alam kong milagro na lang ang
makakapagpagising kay nanay pero umaasa pa rin ako sa milagrong iyon.
"Ginawa na namin ang lahat ng magagawa namin. Hindi na siya nagrerespond. The
patient is basically brain dead." Narinig kong sabi ng doktor habang kausap si
Wayne sa mismong labas ng kwarto. "Ang mga makina na lang na nakakabit sa katawan
niya ang bumubuhay sa kanya."
Nakaupo lang ako sa tabi niya at hawak ang kamay niya. Lalo kong hinigpitan ang
hawak sa kamay ni nanay na para bang may aagaw sa kanya mula sa akin. Maputla na
ang mukha niya at mga labi niya. Halos hindi ko na siya makilala. Bukod sa sobrang
payat niya na, wala ng buhay ang mukha niya.
Isinubsob ko ang mukha ko sa kama niya at hindi ko napigil na maiyak. Siya na lang
ang pamilyang meron ako. Kapag nawala siya, wala nang matitira sa akin.
"Are their any options left? Baka madaan pa sa operasyon o gamot?" Tanong ni Wayne
makalipas ang ilang segundo ng katahimikan.
"I'm afraid we've exhausted all our options. Ihanda niyo na lang ang sarili niyo,
yun na lang ang maipapayo ko." Lalong bumigat ang dibdib ko sa narinig kong sinabi
ng doktor. Ni hindi ko nga maisip ang buhay na wala si nanay. Halos lahat ng
pangarap ko palaging kasama si nanay doon. Hindi ko kakayanin kapag nawala siya sa
akin.
Ilang minuto pa ang nakalipas ng bumukas ang pinto sa kwarto at pumasok si Wayne.
Naglakad siya palapit sa akin at huminto sa likod ng silya na inuupuan ko.
Idinantay niya ang kamay niya sa balikat ko. "Do you want to take a rest?"
Iling lang ang isinagot ko sa kanya, hindi pa din hinihiwalay ang tingin kay nanay.
"Hindi ka pa nagpapahinga, Tanya. Ako na ang magbabantay kay tita Esther." Mababa
ang boses na sabi niya.
Ito na lang ang oras na meron kami. Ayaw kong iwan siya dahil alam ko kahit anong
oras pwede na siyang mawala. Hindi ko na mararamdaman ang init ng palad niya. Hindi
ko na siya mahahawakan ng ganito. Hindi ko na siya makikita.
"Angel, tita Esther wouldn't want to see you like this." Marahang hinaplos niya ang
pisngi ko.
"Hindi ko iiwan si nanay." Naiiyak na umiling ako.
Lumuhod si Wayne sa harap ko at ikinulong ang mukha ko sa mga palad niya. Namumula
din ang mga mata niya sa pagpigil ng luha. "Listen, I know it's not going to be
easy but I'm here for you. You don't have to go through this alone. I'll always be
here for you. Whatever you go through, I'll go through it with you."
Pinahid niya ang mga luha ko gamit ang daliri niya. "Nahihirapan na din si tita
Esther. We've done the best we can, didn't we? I've talked with the doctor, she
said there isn't much hope. Kailangan maging handa-"
"Ayoko pa..." Sunod sunod akong napailing.
"I know it's hard, I know it hurts but we have to let go. As much as we want her to
stay, we can't be selfish. You don't want to see her sick like that, do you?"
Marahang sabi niya. "I think she's just waiting for you to let her go, angel. She's
just waiting for you to assure her that you'll be okay without her."
I bursted into tears. Kinabig niya ang ulo ko at isinubsob ko iyon sa balikat niya.
Tahimik niyang hinagod ang likod ko at hinayaan niya akong umiyak. Inilabas ko ang
lahat ng luhang mailalabas ko bago nag-angat ang ulo ko. Muli niyang ikinulong ang
mukha ko sa palad niya at hinalikan ako sa noo.
"Tita Esther is only holding on for you. Talk to her. Tell her all the things she
wants to hear from you." Malumanay na sabi niya.
Dahan-dahan akong tumango bago ibinaling ang atensyon kay nanay. Hinawakan ko ang
isang kamay ni nanay sa loob ng dalawang kamay ko.
"Nay, magiging okay po ako. Pangako po tutuparin ko ang mga pangarap natin.
Magtatapos po ako ng pag-aaral para sa'yo, nay. Magiging maayos po ang buhay ko
katulad ng gusto niyo." Akala ko ubos na ang luha ko pero hindi pa pala. Parang
pinipiga ang dibdib ko sa sobrang sikip nito.
Tama si Wayne, magiging makasarili ako kung hindi ko siya pakakawalan. Masakit man
para sa akin pero mas masakit na makitang ganito ang kalagayan niya. Ilang araw na
siyang comatose at sa mga doktor na mismo nanggaling na hindi na siya gagaling.
"Nay, Alam kong pagod ka na. Magpahinga ka na. Huwag mo na akong intindihin,
hinihintay ka na ni tatay. Siguradong sabik na sabik na si tatay na makasama ka.
Palagi kong tatandaan ang mga sinabi mo sa akin. Mahal na mahal ko po kayo, nay."
Humihikbing sabi ko habang marahang hinahaplos ni Wayne ang likod ko.
Binigyan ko si nanay ng isang halik sa noo at biglang tumunog ang machine na
nakakabit sa kanya. At alam kong iyon na 'yon. Nagflat na ang linya sa screen ng
heart beat monitor na nasa tabi ng kama niya. Luhaang lumingon ako kay Wayne at
kumawala na din ang luha sa mga mata niya.

Sa isang chapel malapit sa amin ginawa ang lamay. Hindi umalis si Wayne sa tabi ko
na labis naman na ipinagpapasalamat ko. Nakaupo kaming dalawa sa mahabang upuan sa
harap ng kabao ni nanay. Nakakulong ako sa bisig niya at nakahilig ang ulo ko sa
dibdib niya.
Hinaplos-haplos niya ang buhok ko habang tahimik lang akong nakatingin sa kabao sa
harap ko. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa din ako makapaniwala na ang katawan ni nanay ang
nasa loob nun. May isang banda sa akin na parang nabunatan na ng tinik dahil hindi
ko na nakikitang naghihirap siya pero ang isang banda malungkot pa rin sa pagkawala
niya.
"It's okay now, angel. She's in a better place now. She's not in pain anymore."
Bulong ni Wayne, ramdam ko ang mainit na hininga niya sa buhok ko.
Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga. Nag-init ang sulok ng mga mata ko. "Magkasama na
sila ni tatay."
"Yeah..." Mahinang sabi niya. "Kaya huwag ka ng malungkot. I'm sure tita Esther
wouldn't want to see you sad."
"Salamat, Wayne ha. Hindi ka umalis sa tabi namin ni nanay." Ipinulupot ko ang
bisig ko sa dibdib niya.
"Don't thank me. Just promise me, you'd never lose that beautiful smile of yours."
Tinitigan ako ng mga malamlam niyang mata. "Your happiness is my happiness as
well."
Pinilit kong ngumiti kahit hilam na sa luha ang mga mata ko at tumango ako. "Basta
huwag mo akong iiwan."
"Yan ang hinding-hindi mangyayari." He sighed, wiping the tears off the corners of
my eyes. "I'm here and I promise I'm not going anywhere. You're all there is for
me."
Inilapit ko ang mukha ko sa kanya at binigyan ko siya ng isang mabilis na halik sa
labi bago ko muling hinilig ang ulo ko sa dibdib niya. Naniniwala ako sa sinasabi
ni Wayne. Ilang beses niya nang napatunayan ang pagmamahal niya sa akin at wala
akong dapat ikabahala.
"Our deepest condolences." Narinig kong sabi ng isang pamilyar na baritong na
boses. Pareho kaming napalingon sa gawi ng boses na iyon.
Nakatayo doon ang apat na kaibigan ni Wayne. Si Nick, Axel, Tristan at Seth. Agad
akong humiwalay kay Wayne at tumayo.
"We heard about what happened to your mother." Malungkot ang mukhang sabi ni Nick.
"I'm sorry." May simpatyang sabi ni Tristan.
Binigyan ko lang siya ng tipid na ngiti. "Salamat sa pagpunta niyo. Upo muna kayo."
Magkakatabing umupo sila sa mahabang bangko.
"How are you?" Tanong sa akin ni Axel na may concern sa boses. "How are you
coping?"
"Okay naman na ako. Naging maayos naman ang pagkawala ni nanay. Nakapagpaalam pa
siya sa akin." Sabi ko.
Tumango-tango si Axel.
"Nasa iisang compound lang pala kayo nakatira ni Tristan." Sabi ni Seth.
"Oo. Minsan nakikita ko siya." Sagot ko.
"I'll go get you guys something to drink." Tumayo si Wayne mula sa kinauupuan niya.
"Ako na lang ang kukuha." Agad na sabi ko. "Samahan mo na lang sila dito."
"Are you sure?" Tanong niya sa akin.
Tumango ako bago naglakad tumalikod na papunta sa mesa sa sulok ng maliit na chapel
kung saan nakalagay ang pagkain para sa mga bisita. Habang gumagawa ako ng sandwich
biglang lumapit sa akin si Sasha at si Jodie.
"Hi, Tanya!" Bati ni Sasha sa akin. "Condolence nga pala."
"Salamat." Sagot ko bago nag-angat ng tingin sa dalawang magkaibigan. "Gusto niyo
ba ng sandwich at juice?"
"Ay nako! Huwag na!" Tanggi ni Sasha. "Napadaan lang kami para kamustahin ka."
"Kilala mo pala si Tristan and company." Sabi ni Jodie ang baklang kaibigan ni
Sasha habang nakatingin sa lima.
"Ah, oo. Kaibigan sila ni Wayne."
"Si Wayne ba yung lalaking palagi mong kasama? Yung naputing t-shirt? Yun ba yung
jowa mo?" Usisa ni Sasha.
"Oo." Matipid na sagot ko.
"Pakilala mo naman kami. Type ko yung blondie." Turo ni Jodie kay Nick.
Siniko siya ni Sasha. "Ano ka ba, bakla! Lamay 'to, hindi club!" Seryoso ang
mukhang bumalik ang atensyon sa akin ng babae. Kinuha niya ang isang kamay ko at
may inabot sa akin. Nagbaba ako ng tingin at binuksan ang kamay ko. "O, abuloy ko
na yan ha."
"Salamat, Sasha."
"Ngayon wala na ang nanay mo baka mapag-isipan mo na ang offer ko sa'yo." Sabi
niya. "May mga naghihire na entertainer sa Japan. Baka interesado ka, pwede kitang
i-recruit."
"Ayaw ko munang isipin 'yan." Bumuntong-hininga ako. Napalingon ako sa gawi ni
Wayne at naramdaman niya siguro ang titig ko sa kanya at napatingin din siya sa
akin. Binigyan niya ako ng isang matamis na ngiti.
"Chance mo na ito para makapagsimula ulit. Hindi lahat ng tao nabibigyan ng
ganitong opportunity. Marami na akong narecruit pagbalik nila galing ibang bansa,
aba mga mayayaman na. Baka nandoon ang kapalaran mo."
"Hindi ako interesado." Umiling ako. Kahit kailan hindi ko hinangad ang maging
mayaman. Sapat na sa akin na may matirhan kaming bahay ni nanay noon at makakain ng
tatlong beses sa isang araw. Gusto ko lang naman na mabigyan si nanay ng
kumportableng buhay. Kay nanay umikot lahat ng mga pangarap ko. Siya ang dahilan
kung bakit gusto kong makapagtapos ng pag-aaral. Siya ang dahilan kung bakit gusto
kong umahon sa kahirapan. Pero ngayon wala na siya... hindi ko na alam kung anong
gagawin ko sa buhay ko.
"Tanya, di naman kita pinapagdecide ngayon basta kapag nagbago ang isip mo. Alam mo
kung saan ako pupuntahan." May panghihinayang sa mukhang tinitigan niya ako.
Tumango lang ako.
"Sige na, aalis na kami. Ano'ng oras na, magbubukas pa ako ng club." Sabi niya.
Nagpaalam ako sa kanya at nagpasalamat bago siya umalis.
Bumalik ako sa kinauupuan ni Wayne kasama ang mga kaibigan niya na dala-dala ang
mga juice at sandwich. Sandali akong nakipag-usap sa mga kaibigan niya. Nagtagal
sila ng halos isang oras bago nagpaalam.

Inilibing si nanay sa tabi ng puntod ng tatay. Alam ko kung nasaan man sila ngayon,
nagkita na sila at masaya na sila. Gumagaan ang loob ko sa tuwing naiisip ko silang
dalawa na magkasama. Naaalala ko noong bata ako tuwing Linggo palagi kaming
lumalabas para magsimba. Hindi pwedeng hindi kami kakain sa labas kahit sa
carinderia lang sa kalsada tapos ipapasyal nila ako sa park. Panonoorin lang nila
akong maglaro sa playground habang magkahawak ang mga kamay nila. Iyon ang naiisip
ko. Magkahawak kamay sila ngayon at nakangiti habang nakatingin sa akin.
"Tanya." Lumapit sa akin si Edna ng matapos na ilibing si nanay. Sa tatlong araw na
lamay ni nanay, araw-araw siyang pumupunta para masigurong okay ako at tumutulong
din sa pag-aasikaso sa mga bisita. May bakas ng pag-aalala sa mukha niya. "May
gusto sanang kumausap sa'yo." Kinagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi niya bago lumingon
sa likod.
Dahan-dahan lumapit si Luis. Mugto ang mga mata.
Nakita kong nagtagis ang mga bagang ni Wayne at nang akmang lalapit niya si Luis ay
hinawakan ko siya sa braso.
"Wayne..." Pinisil ko ang hawak kong braso niya. He paused. Pero bakas sa mukha
niya ang galit at labis na pagpipigil.
"What do you want?" Asik ni Wayne.
"Tanya, hindi ko sinasadya." Hindi niya pinansin si Wayne at nagsimulang magtubig
ang mga mata niya. "Hindi na ako makatulog, hindi ako makakain. Gusto ko sanang
pumunta noon sa lamay niya pero nahihiya ako dahil alam kong ako ang may kasalanan
kung bakit namatay ang nanay mo. Hindi ko gustong mangyari ito kay tita Esther.
Hindi ko intensyon ito."
Humugot ako ng hininga. "Wala kang kasalanan."
"Tanya, patawarin mo ako. Patawarin niyo ako ni tita Esther. Alam mong napamahal na
din siya sa akin, parang pangalawang nanay ko na siya. Hindi ako nag-isip. Hindi ko
naisip na may sakit siya sa puso." Umiiyak na sabi ni Luis.
"Luis, napatawad ka na ni nanay." Malumanay na sabi ko. "Hindi mo kasalanan na
namatay si nanay. Talagang... oras na niya."
"Pinapatawad mo na din ba ako?"
Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa kanya, hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong isagot.
Magsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin ko sa kanya napatawad ko na siya dahil masama
pa rin ang loob ko. Parang kapatid na ang tingin ko kay Luis pero nagawa niyang
pagsamantalahan ang sitwasyon ko. Nagawa niyang gamitin ang blue book at si nanay
para takutin ako.
"Ayaw ko ng makita ka. Tapusin na natin ang pagkakaibigan natin." Mahinang sabi ko.
"Tanya..." Humakbang siya palapit sa akin.
Naramdaman ko na lang na pumulupot ang bisig ni Wayne sa likod ng balakang ko at
hinatak ako sa kanya.
"Did you hear what she just said or are you deaf? Stay the fuck away from her."
Mariin na sabi ni Wayne. "Take one step closer to her and I'll punch you in the
face."
"Halika na, Wayne." Aya ko sa kanya para maiwasan nang may mangyaring away.
Nagpaalam na ako kay Edna at bumalik na kami ni Wayne sa kotse. Hinatid niya ako sa
apartment at tinulungan ayusin ang mga naiwang gamit ni nanay. Nilagay ko na sa
isang kahon ang mga damit niya at iba pang importanteng gamit niya.
"What are you planning to do now?" Tanong niya sa akin habang pinupunasan ko ang
photo album ni nanay bago ko ipinasok sa box.
Kibit-balikat lang ang naisagot ko.
"I can't leave you here all alone. Hindi mapapanatag ang loob ko na mag-isa ka lang
dito." Bumuntong-hininga siya.
"Okay lang ako, huwag kang mag-alala. Kaya ko naman ang sarili ko." Paninigurado ko
sa kanya.
"I have an idea." Mula sa likod ko, hinawakan niya ako sa baywang at iniharap sa
kanya. Tahimik na tinitigan niya ako ng ilang segundo.
"Ano?" Tanong ko sa kanya ng hindi ako makatiis.
"Move in with me, angel."
"Wayne..." Umiling ako.
"It would be easier for the both of us. I won't have to worry about leaving you
here alone and you have me to keep you company." Naramdaman ko ang mahinang
pagpisil niya sa baywang ko. "I just want you safe and secured."
Chapter Twenty Three
Wayne's POV
Tanya stood in front of my unit door clutching on the worn out travel bag she was
carrying with both hands. Ipinasok ko ang box na hawak ko at ibinaba sa living
room. After putting down the box which contained important things she brought from
their old apartment, I took the travel bag from her and carried it in.
Tanya was a little hesitant at first about moving in with me but after a long talk
with her, she finally agreed. I wouldn't have to worry about leaving her all alone
in her apartment. Here with me was the safest place she could be right now.
I helped her unpack her clothes and put it in the closet. I wasn't so much into
clothes so I still had a lot of room in there for hers.
"Tama ba 'tong ginagawa natin?" She asked in a worried tone as we were unpacking
her things.
My brows crumpled as I looked at her. "I don't see why this is wrong. You're my
girlfriend and we're not hurting anyone."
"Hindi magandang tignan na nakatira ako dito." She chewed on her bottom lip.
"Do you think I give a flying fuck about what other people think?" I chuckled,
cupping her face in my hands. I planted a kiss on her face before looking straight
into her eyes. "You are all that matters to me. Just you and I, angel."
"Parang pakiramdam ko mali itong ginagawa natin. Oo nga, may nangyari na sa atin
pero iba yung nakatira ako sa bahay mo."
"Tanya, angel, I can't leave you in that apartment alone. What if someone breaks
into your house? Kaligtasan mo lang ang iniisip ko. This is just temporary." I
pulled her into an embrace and she rested her head against my chest. "Someday we'll
make things right. I'll marry you after I graduate and find a stable job. We'll
move into a bigger house and we'll have kids. Ten kids running around..."
"Ano'ng ten? Five lang." She chuckled. I hadn't seen her genuinely laugh like this
since Tita Esther's death. Her chuckle was a like a music to my ear.
"Fine, five kids." I faked a sigh and rolled my eyes. I brushed my fingers through
her hair. "We'll have five kids running around the house."
"Gusto ko may garden. Bata pa lang ako pangarap ko na magkaron ng bahay na may
garden." She smiled. It was nice seeing her like this again, seeing her genuine
beautiful smiles and laughs. I hadn't seen this side of her since tita Esther got
sick. Yeah, she does try to smile but the sadness was still there in her eyes. I
hated seeing her sad. She was hurting but I couldn't do anything about it. And the
fact that i couldn't do anything about it, that was what I hated the most.
"And a pool." I said.
"Ayoko ng pool." Her nose crinkled. "Hindi naman kasi ako marunong lumangoy at saka
syempre may mga bata sa bahay, baka mahulog sila sa pool. Gusto ko malaking garden
lang na may maraming maraming bulaklak at may isang puno para makapagtayo sila ng
tree house."
I could already clearly envision it in my mind. It was the most perfect thing I
could think of, seeing her smile everyday for the rest of my life, watching our
kids chase each other around the backyard, them climbing up the tree house I built
for them, children laughing and our bunso running to Tanya because the older ones
were teasing her. We'd have the most beautiful kids that would look at us as if we
were superheroes. Their eyes innocent and not yet tainted by the world. Fractions
of our cells transforming into the most perfect human beings.
"Okay, a no pool house it is. We'll have a house with a huge garden and wooden
picket fence around it." I said as I stroke her hair. "Ano pang gusto mo?"
"Gusto ko yung simple lang. Ayoko ng malaking bahay kasi gusto ko nagkikita-kita pa
rin tayo. Tatlong bedroom lang dapat. Isa para sa'yo at sa akin. Tapos yung isa
para sa mga lalaking anak natin at isa naman para sa mga babae. Share sila ng
kwarto para talagang malapit sila sa isa't isa. Ano sa tingin mo?"
"I think it's perfect." A smile cracked on my lips. It felt as if we weren't just
dreaming about the future, we were already planning it. "You'll be a good mother to
our kids."
"At alam kong magiging mabuting ama ka rin sa kanila." She smiled cheekily. "Ako
lang yata nag-iisip para sa magiging bahay natin. Ikaw? Ano bang gusto mo?"
"I only want one thing. A small bed so we have to sleep really close to each
other." I grinned.
"Ikaw talaga." She giggled, shaking her head.
We continued unpacking her things and after the last cloth had been unpacked. We
got ready for bed. Tanya took a quick shower while I read a book in my bed. After a
few minutes, the door to the bathroom opened. Tanya only had a towel around her
body. Her hair tied up in a ponytail was still dry.
She unwrapped the towel and let it drop to the floor. Her body was beautiful. I had
seen it a couple of times but I was still in awe at the sight of it. The need for
me radiating in her eyes sent a bolt of pure arousal to my length. Good thing I was
wearing a loose pajama so that there was enough space for my growing erection. I
closed the book I was reading and took my glasses off. Inilagay ko iyon sa ibabaw
ng side table.
Tanya crawled up to bed and slipped into the duvet next to me. I wrapped my arm
around the back of her waist and kissed her on the forehead. She lifted her face up
to me so that i could kiss her on the lips. I did just as what she wanted me to do.
I kissed her on the lips in delight. She wrapped an arm around my neck and started
kissing me back.
Words had always been irrelevant when we let our bodies talk for us. The walls of
this bedroom holds the secrets of our need for each other, the whispered words of
love, the tender touches and the hungry acts of desire.
I pulled her to me, we shifted and now she was straddling me. Kissing her hungrily
I let my hand run the length of her bare back. After awhile, after our lips were
sore and our tongues were tired, I pulled away. I pulled away from the kiss and
bent over to kiss her pink perky nipple.
"Wayne..." My name fell from her lips in a breathy plea. She started grinding our
crotch together. Just when I thought my erection couldn't get bigger, well it did.
I was kind of surprise of how responsive she was now. She pulled me into her chest
a little closer. My name left her lips over and over as I suckled and kiss each of
her breasts.
I lifted my head back to her and saw her eyes burning with desire. The same desire
that was burning in mine. It was a desire I'd never seen in her before. I lifted my
hips a little so that I could pull down my pajama. She bent over and began leaving
small kisses on my jaw, trailing down to my neck. Her lips trailed further down to
my chest, branding my skin in a way that left me powerless and desperate for her.
In a way, I kind of felt proud. She'd learned from me and she had learned good.
She took my nipple into her mouth and a groan of pleasure escape my throat. She
sucked on in, mimicking what I did to her. Her lips lowered to my stomach. I took
in a sharp inhale of breath, feeling the heat growing in me. Her lips lowered
further down. She took my cock in her hand and began to stroke it. My arousal was
at molten level and I wanted her sweet pussy wrapped around me. Instead, it was her
warm mouth that covered the tip of my dick.
My lids dropped to over my eyes and my head fell to the headboard. I took deep,
roughen breaths as she slowly took me in. I made her do this once before, I could
tell she was still inexperienced but she was still damn good.
"Yeah, angel, that's it... you're doing a great job... suck it..." I moaned,
encouraging and guiding her.
I reached down and cupped her breast with my hand. I played with her nipple,
occassionally pinching and rubbing it. She moaned in pleasure, her mouth vibrating
around me.
"Tanya angel, I'm probably not going to have control. It's going to be fast but
I'll warn you when I'm about to come." I gently said.
Her eyes flew wide and she looked up at me.
"It's okay, I'm going to warn you." I whispered.
She relaxed again and focused on my dick. She took another inch in, I could feel
her tongue swirling around my length. Her hot and wet mouth surrounding me. I
fought the urge to thrust my hips up. I stayed still as her mouth did all the work.
She moved her hand, stroking my length while her head began to bob up and down the
tip of my cock. I only let her take seven or eight stroke and my body began to
tighten under her touch.
"I'm going to come, Tanya..." I warned her. My whole body clenched and when I
couldn't hold it in any longer, I exploded right into her sweet beautiful mouth. My
body limped against the headboard, trying to recover from a mindless state of
orgasm.
After a few seconds, she lifted away from me. She looked around frantically while
holding my come in her mouth. I reached for the glass that was sitting on the
bedside table and before I could hand it to her, she tightly closed her eyes and
gulped it down. My muscle tensed at what she did. She opened her eyes and stared at
me. We stared at each other for a few seconds before I pulled her up to me, hugging
her tightly. We both broke into laugher.
After our laughter died down, I kissed the side of her face. I ran my lips to her
ear. "That was so good, angel. Thank you."
"Was I good?" She shyly asked, her cheeks turning red.
"Pwede na." I shrugged carelessly. She looked at me, hurt evident in her eyes and
then she pouted. "After about twenty or thirty tries, you'll get it right."
Once she realized I was just kidding, she rolled her eyes and let out a small
chuckle.

"Loko ka talaga." She playfully pinched my side.

She gasped at the sudden movement when I maneuvered her, pinning her down to the
bed. "Now it's my turn, angel."
My head lowered to her stomach and gave it butterfly kisses. My eyes were still
fixed on hers, watching the amused expression on her face. I smiled to myself and
lowered a bit more. I pushed her legs apart and stuck my tongue. Gently as a
breath, I licked her folds, tasting her sweetness, breathing her in. Her legs
quivered at the contact. She tasted as sweet and innocent as she looked.
She was soaking wet and ready for me. I lapped at her clit flicking it with the tip
of my tongue, rasping that little pearl with feverish determination. He legs bucked
as she moaned and whimpered. When I felt that she was going to come, I stopped. She
let out a whine of protest. I lifted my head up and leveled it to hers.
"You know I love you, right?" I gently whispered
Tanya nodded her head.
"Angel, you have to promise me you'll remember that." I said.
"I promise." She said in her soft voice.

"Good. Because I'm going to fuck you like I don't." I flipped over to her stomach.
Tanya gasped in shock at what I did. I firmly held her waist and positioned myself
behind her. I pounded into her warm and wet tightness. Her body immediately
clenched around me, she was already so aroused. I held unto the headboard for
support. I pumped in and out of her, over and over, harder with each thrust, taking
every bit of desire she made me feel and using it as a fuel. The whole bed rocked
along with me. I could feel myself nearing another orgasm.
Her insides clenched around me tighter and she wailed out as she came. I could feel
her throbbing around my dick. I thrust one last time, my fingers almost digging
into her skin, and with a throaty groan I poured myself inside her. We both
collapsed on the bed. I rolled the next to her as I tried to catch my breath.
She was still laying in her stomach with her head turned away from me. I reached
over to touch her hair and her shoulders began to shake, as if she was silently
crying.

"Tanya?" I scooted closer to her. "Did... did I hurt you?"

"Hindi..." She said in a raspy voice. "Hindi, ikaw... Namimiss ko lang ang nanay."
I maneuvered us into a spooning position, my arms wrapping around her waist. I
could feel almost feel the sadness, her emptiness, her hollowness. She tried to
distract herself away from it all. I wish I was able to take away the weight of the
world that was resting on her shoulders and put it on the top of my own. If I
could, I would take all the pain so she never have to feel it. I may not be as
strong but my body could handle more than her ever could. She was so fragile, so
soft.
"I'm here, I promise. I'm not going anywhere." I whispered to her ear as she
silently cried. Being there for her was the most I could do while she heals.
I remember a lecture in one of my class about the exchange of powers. When a man
loves a woman, she becomes his weakness and when a woman loves a man he becomes her
strength. It was true. She'd become my weakness and I wanted to be her strength.

Chapter Twenty Four

Wayne's POV
I woke up to the feeling of something soft and warm brushing against the back of my
neck. I moaned and turned my head. My eyes were still heavy but I forced it open.
Even with my sight still blurry and adjusting, I could already see the soft and
angelic face of Tanya.
"Good morning." She softly said, pressing his lips on my forehead.
"Morning." I lazily answered and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Such a
beautiful way to start my day."
"Nagluto ako ng almusal. Chineck ko ang class schedule mo, may klase ka ng nine
thirty kaya bumangon ka na d'yan." She chuckled, taking my arm and trying to
playfully pull me.
I was bigger and stronger than her, she wouldn't be able to pull me out of bed. In
just a tug, she landed on top of me. My hands went down to her waist encircling my
arms around it.
"Wayne, ano ka ba?" She laughingly said, pushing herself up away from me. One of my
hand lowered to her buttocks and she gasped when I gave it a good squeeze.
"Wayne... yung pagkain, baka lumamig."
"The food can wait." I buried my face into her neck.
"Hindi dapat pinaghihintay ang pagkain." She said, trying to squirm out of my arms.
"Mag-almusal muna tayo."
"Then?" My brow arched up.
"Tapos magshoshower tayo."
"Together?" I grinned.
A shy smile appeared on her lips and she nodded her head. Oh my sweet Tanya... Her
innocence remained unchanged. I guess it was her nature, it was part of who she
was. And that made me love her even more. She was as pure as an angel. So soft and
feminine.
"Fine. You sure know exactly what to do to make me get out of bed." I chuckled,
shaking my head. I jumped out of bed and followed her to the kitchen. The delicious
aroma of food that filled my nostrils the moment I stepped into the kitchen. It
instantly made my mouth water.
Tanya and I had been living together for almost a month now. She was adjusting
pretty well. Being with her had been nothing short of a bliss. Tanya was that kind
of woman every man would want for a wife. I was perfectly aware of how lucky I was
to have her as my woman and I would never take that for granted.
"Mmm... smells delicious." I rubbed my tummy as I looked at the food on the table.
Garlic rice, tocino and longganisa. We sat and ate together. After finishing our
breakfast, we took a bath together just as she promised. And we did more than take
a bath.

"Let's dine out tonight." I said as I pulled over in front of her school.
"Bakit? Nagsasawa ka na ba sa luto ko?" She jokingly said.
"Hindi naman sa ganon. I just want to take you out tonight."
"Sana naman sa hindi mamahaling restaurant. Alam mo naman di ako kumportableng
kumain sa mga ganon at saka di ako pamilyar sa mga pagkain." She pouted cutely.
"Don't worry. I know you don't like those places. I swear, you'll love where I'm
taking you." I chuckled a little. Nipping her chin in between my two fingers and
tilting her head. I stopped when our lips were only a few milimeters apart. "I'll
see you later, okay?"
She smiled and nodded before pressing a kiss on my lips. I caught and gently bit
the bottom of her lips before she could pull her head away. I sank my finger
through her hair and held her face still. I couldn't get enough of her even after
having her just this morning.
I felt her pushing me away when my tongue delved into her mouth. She pulled her
head away from me.
"Ano ka ba? Baka may makakita sa atin, nakakahiya." She giggled, looking around if
anybody had seen us. "Bababa na ako, baka malate na ako sa klase. Ikaw din, pumasok
ka na."
"Not until you say you love me." I grinned.
She chuckled and then looked at me straight in the eyes. "I love you, Wayne. Mahal
na mahal na mahal kita."
"I love you, too, angel. Ikaw lang."

Tanya's POV
"Kita na lang tayo bukas." Sabi ni Edna sa akin nang makalabas na kami sa campus.
"Sige, bukas na lang." Paalam ko sa kanya. Nang akmang aalis na siya ay biglang
dumating naman si Margaux.
"Hoy, ikaw pokpok ka!" Dinuro niya ako habang papalapit siya sa akin. Biglang
natigilan si Edna at pumagitna sa amin bago siya makalapit.
"Anong problema mo sa kaibigan ko?" Kunot ang noong tanong niya.
"Your friend is a man stealing whore! Pokpok yang babaeng yan!" Malakas na sigaw
niya na nakakuha nang atensyon ng ibang mga tao. "How does it feel, Tanya? You were
just some prostitute Wayne found in the blue book ngayon binabahay ka na niya?"
"Itsura nito! Tignan mo nga yang suot mo, mas mukha ka pang pokpok kaysa sa
kaibigan ko." Mataray na tinignan siya nin Edna mula ulo hanggang paa. Sa amin
dalawa, si Edna talaga ang mas matapang.
"You stay out of this.
"Edna, okay lang." Pigil ko sa kanya. "Ako na ang bahala dito."
"Gold digging whore, pati ang nanay mo nakinabang sa pera ni Wayne. Mga mangagamit
kayo."
"Huwag mong idadamay ang nanay ko dito." Kusang kumuyom ang mga palad ko.
"Bakit? You're mad because it's true." Tumaas ang isang sulok ng labi niya nang
makita ang reaksyon ko. Ito ang gusto niya, ang magalit ako. Dahan-dahan siyang
lumapit sa akin. "Manggagamit kayo ng nanay mo. She let you whore yourself out.
Baka nga siya pa ang nangbubugaw-"
Parang may sariling isip ang kamay kong umangat ito at dumapo sa mukha niya.
Nanlalaki ang mga matang tinitigan niya ako habang sapu-sapo ang pisngi. Kahit ako
nagulat sa ginawa ko.
"Buti nga sa'yo!" Sabi ni Edna.
"You whore!" Tagis ang bagang na sabi niya bago umangat ang dalawang kamay niya at
naramdaman ko na lang ang paghatak niya sa buhok ko. Mas matangkad sa akin si
Margaux kaya di ko siya maabot ng subukan ko siyang itulak palayo sa akin. Kung
anu-anong insulto ang ibinato niya sa akin habang sinasabunutan niya ako.
"Bitiwan mo ang kaibigan ko!" Sinubukan akong tulungan ni Edna na hatakin palayo si
Margaux mula sa akin pero tinulak lang siya nito gamit ang isang kamay.
"Margaux, what the hell are you doing?" Narinig ko ang galit na boses ni Wayne
habang nagmamadaling tumatakbo palapit sa akin. Marahas niyang hinablot ang mga
kamay ni Margaux at inilayo siya sa akin. Mabilis naman akong dinaluhan ni Edna at
tinanong kung okay lang ba ako. Tango lang ang naisagot ko.
"You and your slut can go to hell!" Galit na sigaw ni Margaux.
"Will you just fucking leave us alone?!" Wayne shook Margaux as he was holding her
by her wrists. "Lay a hand on Tanya again and I swear to God, kalilimutan kong
babae ka!"
"Ano bang nakita mo sa babaeng iyan! She is just using you! You're her meal ticket
and you know it." Marahas na binawi ni Margaux ang mga kamay niya.
"Shut up! Wala kang alam kay Tanya."
"Oh I do know her... she's a gold digging whore who was lucky enough to find a
stupid guy like you." Tinapunan ako ng matalim na titig ni Margaux. "Nagpapaloko ka
sa babaeng yan. You think she love you? She wants your money, not you."
"Just fucking shut up, Margaux. Why can't you just leave us alone? Leave Tanya
alone." Tiim ang bagang at kontrolado pero galit na sabi ni Wayne. "I'm not
kidding. If you hurt Tanya again, hindi ko alam kung ano ang posibleng magawa ko
sa'yo. No matter what you do, I'm never going to get back with you."
"Okay." Kibit balikat na sagot niya. "Pero kapag iniwan ka na niya dahil nakuha na
niya ang gusto niya, you can thank me." She smiled eerily sweetly.
Humugot ng malalim na hininga si Wayne. "I don't want to waste time fighting with
you, Margaux. Just go."
Tumingkayad siya at kalmanteng dinampian ng halik si Wayne sa pisngi habang
nakatitig sa akin. Agad na umiwas si Wayne. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I always get my way. Always. And if I can't have you then neither can she." Mababa
at madilim ang tonong sabi ni Margaux bago siya tumalikod. Sandali namin siyang
pinanood na naglakad at pumasok sa kotseng nakaparada sa di kalayuan at umalis na.
Agad nabaling ang atensyon sa akin ni Wayne.
Ikinulong niya ang mukha ko sa mga palad niya at hinaplos haplos ang pisngi ko
gamit ang daliri niya. "Are you okay?"
Tumango ako. Isinuklay niya ang mga daliri niya sa buhok ko bago niya ako kinabig
palapit sa kanya at binigyan ng halik sa noo. "I'm sorry, angel."
"Okay ka lang talaga, Tanya?" Paniniguarado ni Edna.
"Okay lang ako." Pinilit kong ngumiti.
"Mukha nga." Ngumiti din siya sa akin bago tumingin kay Wayne. "O, ikaw na bahala
sa kaibigan ko. Aalis na ko."
"Yes, ma'am." Sabi ni Wayne at umalis na si Edna.

"I'm so sorry, Tanya..." Ito na ang panglimang beses na humingi siya nang tawad sa
akin. Mula sa manibela ng kotse, ibinaba niya ang isang kamay niya para kunin ang
kamay ko. Dinala niya ito sa labi niya at hinalikan.
"Stop saying sorry. Hindi mo naman kasalanan yun." Sabi ko sa kanya.
"But I promised you that I wouldn't let anyone hurt you." Bumuntong-hininga siya.
"Hindi mo kontrolado ang isip ni Margaux."
"I should've been there to protect you."
"Di naman ako masyadong nasaktan. Huwag munang isipin iyon."
"This day should be perfect and then Margaux came and ruined everything." Humugot
na ulit siya ng malalim na buntong-hininga. Itinigil niya ang kotse sa harap ng
isang madilim na lugar.
Pumihit ang ulo ko sa kanya. "Ano'ng ginagawa natin dito?"
Hindi siya sumagot. Binuksan niya ang pinto sa tabi niya at tumakbo siya sa side ko
at binuksan ang pinto para sa akin. Madilim na ang park dahil gabi na pero nang
lumapit kami nagbukasan ang mga ilaw. May mga nakasabit na ilaw sa mga puno na
parang christmas lights. Sa gitna ng lugar, may nakalatag na tela sa ibabaw ng
damuhan.
"Wayne, ano 'to?" Tanong ko sa kanya.
Ngiti lang ang sinagot niya sa akin bago niya kinuha ang kamay ko at hinatak niya
iyon. Umupo kami sa gitna ng telang nakalatag. Pinaupo niya ako sa harap niya, sa
pagitan ng mga hita niya, sumandal ang likod ko sa dibdib niya. Kitang-kita ko ang
mga ilaw mula sa mga bahay at buildings na nasa baba nito. Napasinghap ako sa ganda
ng tanawin.
"You like it, angel?" Naramdaman ko ang mga labi niya sa tainga ko.
"Ang ganda." Mangha pa rin na sabi ko bago pumihit ang ulo ko sa kanya. Sinalubong
niya ako ng halik sa labi. "Ano ba ang okasyon ngayon?" Tanong ko ng maghiwalay ang
mga labi namin.
"You said you don't want anything fancy. I thought you'd love a night picnic under
the stars." Sabi niya habang binibigyan ng maliliit na halik ang balikat ko.
"I want this night to be special." Kinuha niya ang isang kamay ko at nilaro-laro
ang daliri ko. "When it feels like the happiest days are behind me you always prove
that there are more. Every second with you I feel like I can just exist. When I'm
with you I feel like I'm always dreaming. You're so perfect and so beautiful and I
just can't believe reality."
Habang nagsasalita siya naramdaman kong may isinuot siya sa daliri ko. Nagbaba ako
ng tingin at nakita ang singsing na nakasuot doon. Isang rose gold na singsing na
may maliliit na diamond. Sa gitna noon nakasulat ang mga letrang T&W.
"Wayne, ano 'to?" Kunot ang noong tanong ko sa kanya.
"It's a promising ring." Sagot niya. "A promise that until the day that we're ready
to get engaged I'm commited to you and only to you. I don't want to be with anyone
else when I've already found the girl that makes me happier than I could ever
imagine."
Uminit ang sulok ng mga mata ko habang nakatingin sa singsing na nasa kamay ko.
"Wayne, it's beautiful."
"When I think of a future I could only see us together. When I think of it, the
only certainty that I know is that I want you to be in it. I want the future that
you pictured; a modest three bedroom house with a huge backyard and white picket
fence around it. I want you to be a part of my life forever and when I think about
the person I want to spend all my days with, it's you. There are no variations.
It's always you, everytime. Mahal na mahal kita, Tanya."
"Mahal na mahal din kita." Naluluhang sabi ko. May suot akong silver na singsing na
naksauot sa kanang kamay ko. Hinubad ko iyon at kinuha ko ang kamay niya.
"Ikaw ang unang lalaking minahal ko at ipinapangako ko na ikaw lang ang lalaking
mamahalin ko. Ikaw lang ang lalaking gusto kong makasama habang-buhay. Ang lalaking
pakakasalanan ko at magiging ama ng mga anak ko." Pigil ang paghikbing sabi ko bago
ko sinubukan isuot iyon sa daliri niya. Sinubukan kong isuot iyon sa palasingsingan
niya pero pareho kaming natawa ng di magkasya iyon at sa hinliliit lang nagkasya
iyon.
"Hindi mo naman kasi sinabi sa akin, sana nakapaghanda ako." Sabi ko sa kanya.
"Don't worry about it. I like the ring, it looks good on my pinkie." Natatawang
sabi niya.
Naglabas si Wayne nang mga pagkain mula sa picnic basket sa tabi namin at
nagpatugtog siya. We enjoyed a nice dinner together while watching the view. Hindi
ko alam kung saan ako titinging, sa mga bituin sa langit o ang mga ilaw mula sa
building sa baba namin. The place was just perfect.
Nang matapos kaming kumain, hiniga ni Wayne ang ulo niya sa kandungan ko at
tinitigan ang mga bituin. Pinagmasdan ko siya. Napakaswerte ko dahil akin siya.
Hindi ko kahit kailan naramdaman na mag-isa ako. Palagi niyang ipinararamdaman na
nasa tabi ko lang lagi siya. Kapag umiiyak ako, siya ang nagpapahatid ng mga luha
ko at ang naging sandalan ko. It would be hard, even to imagine, a life without
Wayne.
"Alam mo noong namatay ang tatay, palaging sinasabi sa akin ni nanay na isa na siya
sa mga bituin sa langit. Ngayon isa na din siya sa milyon-milyong bituin kasama ang
tatay."
"I'm sure she is. I bet tita Esther and your tatay are both looking down on you
right now with smiles on their faces."
Sandaling naghari ang katahimikan sa pagitan namin habang nakatingin kami sa mga
bituin.
"You know what's the most interesting about the universe?" Biglang tanong niya sa
akin na bumasag ng katahimikan.
"Ano?"
"It always change. It always expand. It's infinite. Nobody knows where it starts or
where it ends. And it's so unpredictable. Before anyone could catch up on it, it
changes." He said as he was looking up at the stars. "You know what's even
interesting. Some scientist says the creation of the universe was just an accident.
It's made up of chaos, and chance, and coincidence. It's beautiful and scary at the
same time, if you think about it. Something as beautiful as all these makes you
doubt if anything really happens by accident or are these all set up intentionally
by a greater force."
"You think too much." Natatawa na lang na sabi ko.
"If I were to learn that it was, I don't know how I would react." Nagpakawala siya
ng malalim na buntong-hininga. "I feel like I've known you forever, angel. I don't
believe in past lives but why does it feel like we've had a thousand lives weighing
on our shoulders, waiting for us to get here? I feel like you were given to me to
keep me sane. You're my angel, Tanya. I don't know what I would do without you."
"Di ko din alam ang gagawin ko kapag nawala ka sa akin. Huwag mo akong iiwan. Ikaw
na lang ang meron ako." Mahinang sabi ko habang sinusuklay ang mga daliri ko sa
buhok niya.

Tumingin siya sa mga mata ko at tumaas ang kamay niya para haplusin ang pisngi ko.
"I won't leave you. That will never happen, Tanya."

Chapter Twenty Five

Wayne's POV
"You said you want to talk to me?" I asked, sitting down on the armchair in front
of his desk. Last night, I received an email from my father telling me to
immediately come to his office because we had an urgent matter we needed to
discuss. I rarely see my dad. I'd be lucky if we see each other twice in a month.
He was reading some documents when he got there. He lifted his gaze up to me and
set the folder aside. He clasped his hands together in front of him as he looked at
me. My father had always looked serious, calm, and calculatedly refined. When you
see him, you'd know that he was a no-nonsense kind of guy.
"Tama ba ang mga naririnig kong balita tungkol sa'yo?" He asked with a hint of
controlled anger in his voice.
"What?" My brows furrowed.
"You have a woman living in your condo unit with you." He said.
My heart started beating fast. I opened my mouth to say something but closed it
back when I couldn't find any words to say. I didn't know how to explain to him
about Tanya. I didn't where to start.
"Is that true, Wayne?" He gave me a sharp glare.
"Yes, Dad." I answered quietly.
"Gaano katagal na ito?"
"Almost two months."
I saw how his expression darkened even more.
"Pinabayaan kita sa mga gusto mong gawin. I gave you your freedom while giving you
money to spend on anything you want. I pay all your bills and everything you have
now, every cent you have is from me." His voice boomed throughout the room. I could
tell that he was really pissed off. He rarely loses his cool like this. "Hindi
maganda ang record mo sa eskwelahan, palagi kang bagsak sa klase dahil bihira ka
lang pumasok... I put up with all that, Wayne. Kahihiyaan para sa akin ang mga
katarantaduhan na ginagawa mo. Your actions reflect on me, my reputation! And then
I find out you're letting a prostitute live with you?"
"Tanya is not a prostitute!" I threw him a sharp look as my jaw clenched. I tried
to hold my anger in at his harsh words. I was so angry I could feel hot blood
pounding in my head but I tried to hold my emotions back. "Malinis na babae si
Tanya. Wala kang alam sa kanya. How dare you say that? You don't even know shit
about me, your own son."
"I had her investigated, Wayne." He took out a folder from his desk cabinet.
"Kabilang siya sa mga babae sa isang Blue Book kung tawagin? That's where you found
her, right? She's a student prostitute. I never thought you'd stoop that low."
"She is not a fucking prostitute, dad!" I frustratedly slammed my fists on his
desk.
"Do not use that language on me, young man. Baka nakakalimutan mo, you are living
off my money. You maxed out your credit card because you funded her mother's
medical bills. Ako ang nagbabayad ng lahat nang iyon." He calmly said, not paying
attention to my anger and frustration, as he was scanning through the documents.
"And now you're letting a harlot live in a condo unit that I bought for you? Ano
bang pumasok diyan sa isip mo?"
"Dad, I don't want to argue with you." I tried to get a grip of my raging emotions.
"Mali ka nang iniisip tungkol kay Tanya. She is not what you think she is. Yes, she
had herself listed in the blue book, she needed the money because her mother was
sick."
"Wala akong pakialam sa kung anuman ang rason niya. I want her out of your condo
unit and your life. Get rid of her." He firmly said.
I shook my head. "No... I'll do anything but that."
"Do not try me, Wayne. You have gone way beyond your boundaries. This is where I
draw the line." He said in a still calm but furious tone. "Huwag mo akong subukan
kung ayaw mong gumawa ako ng bagay na di mo magugustuhan."
"I don't even care anymore. Do whatever you want."
"You are just like your mother, Wayne Cameron." There was bitterness in his voice.
"Hindi ko alam kung saan ako nagkamali sa pagpapalaki sa'yo... Di mo na inisip ang
kahihiyan aabutin ko kapag nalaman ito nang ibang tao? Of all the woman, you picked
a harlot. Di ko alam kung anong utak meron ka. Minsan iniisip ko kung sinasadya mo
ba talaga ito para dungisan ang pangalan ko. You're a disgrace to our family, just
like Almira."
My palms clenched into fists. That was the worst insult I had ever heard in my
whole life and that insult came from my own father. I never wanted to be like my
mother. I despised her.
"Well, what do you expect? I'm her son." One corner of my lips lifted into a bitter
smirk. "Sorry I'm not like your two perfect children. I'm Almira's son. I'm just
like her, a fuck up. And you didn't raise me, you treated me like a goddamn plant!
You spent money on me but never your time."
I didn't wait for him to say something. I got up from my seat and left with a heavy
heart. I never had a good relationship with my father. We never had a good
relationship. We'd always been distant with each other. We never liked it each
other but to here those words from my own father was still heart breaking.

I opened the door to my house and saw Tanya walking out from the kitchen. She
greeted me with that cute smile of hers. I immediately walked up to her and hugged
her. I hugged her like I never had before. It was all I needed now. She was all I
needed.
"O, bakit?" She asked, worry in her tone as she rubbed my back.
"I don't know what I'd do without you, angel." I sighed.
She was the home I'd never had.I'd always felt like there was something missing in
my life and she was the patch my heart needed, the one who had filled that gap in
my chest. She was what I'd been searching for my whole life. She was my home.
Always. Home isn't just a space of brick and walls that hold. It's the comfort of
knowing that I'd always have something to return to, of knowing I'm never alone.
She gave me that security and the calm I needed.
"Ano bang nangyayari sa'yo?" She chuckled a little. "Nagkita naman tayo kaninang
umaga."
"Nothing." I said, pulling away from the hug and cupping her face. I kissed her on
the forehead. "I just had a rough day."
"Bakit? Ano bang nangyari?" Her brows furrowed as her doe-like eyes looked at me.
Her hand raised to touch my cheek, it tingled with warmth that made me sigh again.
Her touch alone could turn my world upside down. The tenderness of it soothes my
pain away.
"I'm just tired." I said.
"Gusto mo munang kumain bago ka magpahinga? Nagluto na ako ng dinner natin." She
smiled.
"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Ano bang niluto mo ngayon?" I asked.
"Yung paborito mo."
I wrapped an arm around the smallest of her waist and we both headed towards the
dining room. I could care less about anything right now as long as I have her hear
in my arms. I won't need anything else but her. She was everything to me. I'll face
anything, climb any mountain with her by my side.

Tanya's POV
Mas maaga sa akin ng dalawang oras ang unang klase ni Wayne kaya nagsabay lang
kaming mag-almusal at umalis na siya. Katatapos ko lang maligo at nagsuot na ako ng
uniform. Nasa harap ako ng salamin at nagsusuklay ng buhok ng marinig ko ang
doorbell.
Kumunot ang noo ko. Wala naman sinabi sa akin si Wayne na may darating siyang
bisita? At kung meron man, itatawag naman mula sa baba iyon. Naisip ko na baka siya
lang rin iyon at nakalimutan siguro ang susi niya. Ibinaba ko ang suklay na hawak
ko at lumabas ng kwarto. Nang buksan ko ang pinto, tumambad sa harap ko ang isang
lalaki. Matangkad ang lalaki, matipuno at hawig ni Wayne.
"Good morning." Pormal na bati niya sa akin.
Ilang segundo ang lumipas bago ako nakasagot sa kanya. "G-good morning din po."
His presence was intimadating. His authority was apparent.
"You're Tanya, am I right?"
"Opo." Sagot ko.
"I'm Enrico St. Croix, Wayne' father."
Wala akong rason para hindi maniwala sa sinasabi ng lalaki sa harap ko. Kamukhang-
kamukha siya ni Wayne.
"Kaaalis lang po niya kani-kanina lang." Niluwagan ko ang bukas ng pinto.
Kabastusan naman kung pababayaan ko lang siyang nakatayo doon at hindi ko siya
imbitahan sa loob. "Pasok po kayo. Pasensya na po, di po ako nakapaghanda. Hindi
naman po sinabi sa akin ni Wayne na darating kayo."
"It's alright. Ikaw ang pinunta ko dito." Humakba siya papasok. Umikot ang paningin
niya sa loob ng bahay bago siya muling tumingin sa akin.
Kinakabahan na nga ako ngayong kasama ko ang daddy ni Wayne at mas lalo pa akong
kinabahan sa sinabi niya. Inaya ko siyang umupo sa may couch.
"Gusto niyo po ng maiinom?" Magalang na tanong ko.
" Hindi na. Pumunta ako dito para makausap ka." Sabi nito. "Maupo ka muna."
Sinunod ko ang sabi niya. Umupo ako sa single armchair na nasa kaliwa ng couch.
"Hindi na ako mag-aaksaya ng oras at didiretsahin na kita. Hindi kita gusto para sa
anak ko." Walang kakurapkurap na sabi nito.
Napalunok ako. Parang nahulog ang puso ko sa tiyan ko. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang
dapat kong isagot o sabihin sa kanya.
"I gave my son the best of everything and I only want the best for him." Tinitigan
niya ako ng diretso sa mga mata. "Hindi ako katulad mong babae ang gusto ko para sa
anak ko. I don't know want him fooling around with some harlot he met through the
blue book."
Parang pinipiga ang dibdib ko sa mga salitang binitawan niya. Gusto kong magsalita
pero hindi ko mahanap ang boses ko.
"I want you out of my son's life. Layuan mo ang anak ko." Muli siyang nagsalita
matapos ang ilang segundong katahimikan.
"Hindi ko po kayang gawin ang hinihiling niyo." Mahinang sabi ko nang makaipon ako
ng sapat na lakas ng loob.
"He's just fooling around with you, hija. Kilala ko ang anak ko. He's using you to
rebel against me. Akala mo ba seseryosohin niya ang isang katulad mo? He'd dated a
lot of women in the past. Mga babaeng galing sa maaayos na pamilya, mga may pinag-
aralan, mga babaeng mas higit pa sa'yo. Once he gets tired of you, he's going to
leave you just like he did to the others."
Sunod-sunod akong umiling. "Hindi po totoo 'yan. Mahal niya po ako, sabi niya hindi
niya ako iiwan."
"Don't be naive." He let out a low chuckle. "He doesn't love you. Wayne is just
bored with his life. He needs you to keep himself entertained. Talaga bang iniisip
mong seseryosohin ka ng anak ko? You are a whore. Sana alam mo kung saan ka dapat
lumugar."
Naramdaman ko ang panunuyo ng lalamunan ko. Nagbaba ako ng tingin. Nanliliit ako sa
sarili ko. I tried to collect myself and keep my composure. I could feel his
disgust as he looked at me. Sobrang sakit pala kapag nanggaling sa mismong magulang
ng taong mahal mo ang salitang iyon.
"Isa kang kahihiyan sa pamilya namin. I do not want to be associated with you in
anyway. That's what Wayne wants to do. Gusto niyang ipahiya ako kaya niya ito
ginagawa. How much money would it take to make you leave him?"
"Mahal ko po si Wayne. Hindi ko po ipinagbibili ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya."
Nanginginig ang boses na sabi ko. I bit my lower lip to keep it from quivering.
"Lumayo ka sa anak ko." Muling sabi niya bago dumukot sa loob ng coat niya. May
inilabas siyang mahabang papel mula doon at ipinatong iyon sa coffee table. "Here's
a two hundred fifty thousand pesos check. Siguro naman sapat na yan para sa'yo?"

Chapter Twenty Six

Tanya's POV

Nakaupo ako sa gilid ng kama nang ipulupot ni Wayne ang bisig niya sa balakang ko
at idinantay ang ulo sa balikat ko. Nag-iwan siya ng maliliit na halik doon.
"Hey." Mahinang sabi niya habang patuloy sa paghalik sa balikat ko. "Come on, let's
go to bed."
"Wayne." Pumihit ang ulo ko sa kanya. Tinaas ko ang isang kamay ko para isuklay sa
buhok niya.
"Hmm?" Dahan-dahan gumapang ang halik niya mula sa balikat ko papunta sa leeg ko.
"What, angel?"
"Mahal na mahal kita. Kahit ano'ng mangyari ikaw lang ang lalaking mamahalin ko." I
swallowed, feeling the lump forming in my throat.
Tumigil siya sa paghalik sa akin at inangat ang ulo niya para titigan ako sa mga
mata. Marahan niyang hinaplos niya ang pisngi ko. "Is something wrong?"
Pilit akong ngumiti at umiling. "Wala... ayaw ko lang makalimutan mo yun. Ipangako
mo sa akin na hindi mo kalilimutan iyon."
"Of course, I won't." Ngumiti siya sa akin at hinalikan ang tungki ng ilong ko. "I
love you too, angel. Nothing will ever change that."

I shifted my body, turning to him. Ipinulupot ko ang mga bisig ko leeg niya at
naramdaman ko din ang mahigpit na pagyakap niya sa akin. Hinayaan niyang bumagsak
ang katawan niya sa malambot na kama at bumagsak din ako sa ibabaw niya.
Hindi naghiwalay ang mga labi namin. Lalong lumalim ang halik niya sa akin at
nagsimulang maglakbay ang mga kamay niya sa katawan ko. Naramdaman kong huminto ito
sa dulo ng suot kong duster. Dahan-dahan niyang itinaas iyon, inangat ko ang
katawan ko para tulungan siyang hubarin ang damit ko. Nang mahubad niya iyon ay
sandali niyang tinitigan ang katawan ko. Wala akong suot na bra at tanging pang-
ibabang underwear na lang ang natitirang saplot ko.
Naglalabos ang nag-aapoy na tingin sa mga mata niya. Ilang beses niya nang nakita
at nahawakan ang kabuuan ko pero para pa rin akong natutunaw sa tingin niyang iyon.
Pinigilan ko ang sarili ko na takpan ang dibdib ko.
Tumaas ang kamay niya at hinawakan ang magkabilang balakang ko. Hinaplos niya ang
tagiliran ko bago huminto ang mga iyon sa ilalim ng dibdib ko. He cupped his hands
around my breasts. Napasinghap ako ng maramdaman ko ang pagdaloy ng kuryente sa
buong katawan ko nang maglaro ang mga daliri niya sa tuktok ng dibdib ko.
"Wayne..." Ungol ko sa pangalan niya.
Hinila niya ako at muling naglapat ang mga katawan namin. Itinaas niya ng konti ang
katawan ko at itinapat ang dibdib ko sa ulo niya. He pulled me down to him and
began suckling my breast. Binigyan niya din ng parehong atensyon ang kaliwang
dibdib ko. Paulit-ulit kong sinambit ang pangalan niya.
Makaraan ang ilang sandali, itinulak niya ako sa kama at siya naman ang pumaibabaw
sa akin. He started taking off his shirt. Tinulungan ko naman siya sa paghubad ng
pang-ibabang pajama niya. Tumambad sa harap ko ang hubad na katawan ni Wayne.
Hinawakan ko sa mga kamay ko ang pagkalalaki niya at napahugot siya ng malalim na
hininga. Gumalaw ang mga kamay ko ngunit mabilis niya akong hinawakan at pinigilan.
"I want to pleasure you first, angel." Paos ang tinig na sabi niya.
Maingat na itinulak niya ako pahiga at bumaba ang ulo niya sa tiyan ko. Nag-iwan
siya ng maliliit na halik dun at nagsimulang gumapang pababa ang mga labi niya.
Napaungol ako ng maramdaman ko ang mainit niyang labi sa ibabaw ng tanging
natitirang tela sa katawan ko. Dumampi ang mga labi niya sa ibabaw ng kaselanan ko.
Kahit may tela pang nakatakip doon, ramdam ko pa rin ang init ng hininga niya sa
ibabaw ng pagkababae ko.
Umangat ang kamay niya at hinawakan ang garter ng underwear ko. Ibinaba niya iyon
hanggang sa mahubad niya ito. Pagkatapos ay bumaba din ang mga mata niya sa
pagkababae ko.
"Beautiful." Sabi niya at naramdapan ko ang init ng palad niya sa ibabaw nito.
"You're so beautiful, angel."
He traced my slit with one finger. Umangat ang balakang ko, hinahabol ang sensasyon
na ibinigay niya sa akin.
"Please, Wayne." Mahinang pakiusap ko sa kanya.
Bumaba ang ulo niya doon at ang sunod ko na lang naramdaman ay ang pagtakip ng
mainit na labi niya sa pagkababae ko. Ipinatong niya ang mga hita ko sa balikat
niya. I moaned and grabbed the bedsheet at the intensity of the sensation. His
tongue delved in between folds. Napaigti ako ng diniinan niya iyon sa
pinakasensitibong parte ko. He sucked on it while his fingers played on my opening.
"Wayne... Wayne..." Bumilis ang paghinga ko, tumaas-baba ang dibdib ko habang
paulit-ulit kong tinatawag ang pangalan niya.
He pushed his finger in at lalong lumakas ang ungol ko. I could feel the warmth
pooling in my stomach. He began to thrust his fingers in and out of me as he sucked
on my sensitive nub. My body stiffened as the sensation grew and grew. Isinigaw ko
ang pangalan niya nang maramdaman ko ang paglabas ng init na iyon.
Naghahabol nang hiningang inirelax ko ang katawan ko. Makalipas ang ilang sandali
ay inangat niya ang ulo niya sa akin at dumagan siya sa ibabaw ko. Lumapat ang mga
labi niya sa labi ko. Tinugon ko nang mainit na halik iyon.
Ipinusisyon niya na ang katawan niya sa ibabaw ko. Naramdaman ko ang pagkalalaki
niya sa lagusan ko. He thrusted in and he groaned against my lips. Nagsimula siyang
gumalaw sa ibabaw ko at niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit at mas lalong lumalim ang halik
niya sa akin.
His tongue explored my mouth as he moved faster on top of me. After a few more
thrust, he shuddered and colapsed on top of me. Naghahabol ng hiningang isinubsob
niya ang mukha niya sa leeg ko. Makalipas ang ilang sandali ay umalis na siya sa
ibabaw ko at humiga sa tabi ko.
Siniksik ko ang katawan ko sa tagiliran niya at inunan ang ulo ko sa dibdib niya.
Tahimik na nilaro ng mga daliri niya ang buhok ko. I closed my eyes and took in a
deep breath, taking in his scent, wanting to engrave it in my mind. He smelled
musky and sweaty and manly in the best way. Sinasamsam ko ang bawat minuto, bawat
segundong kasama ko siya. Ang amoy niya, ang init ng katawan niya, ang paghinga
niya, ang ritmo at pagtibok ng puso niya. Para kahit man lang sa isip ko pwedeng
kong balik-balikan ang mga sandaling kasama ko siya.
Kinuha niya ang isang kamay ko at pinagsalikop niya ang mga daliri namin pagkatapos
ay dinala niya ito sa labi niya para halikan ang likod ng kamay ko.
"Thank you for coming into my life, Tanya. I can't imagine a life without you in
it. You're one of the very few things that give me peace in this world. You calm my
soul despite the chaos around me." Mahinang bulong niya at hinalikan niya ang buhok
ko.
Nagsimulang mamuo ang mainit na likido sa gilid ng mga mata ko. Humugot ako ng
malalim na hininga at nilunok ang hikbi na gustong kumawala sa lalamunan ko.
Sumikip ang dibdib ko at parang gustong tumigil sa pagtibok ang puso ko. Ang bigat
ng pakiramdam ko. Para bang naipon sa loob nun ang lahat ng luhang pinipigilan ko.
"I'll be incomplete without you because you're the better half of me. You're the
only half I need." Sabi niya.
Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko at tuluyan ng tumulo ang luha ko. Parang pinipiga ang
puso ko sa mga sinabi niya. Pumasok sa isip ko lahat ng sinabi sa akin ng daddy ni
Wayne. Naglalaban ang isip at puso ko pero buo na ang desisyon ko. Kung ako lang
ang masusunod ayaw ko siyang iwan. Pero ayaw ko din masira ang buhay niya dahil sa
akin.
Alam ng Diyos kung gaano ko siya kamahal. Mahal na mahal ko si Wayne. At
nakakasiguro ako sa sarili ko na kahit anong mangyari siya lang ang lalaking
mamahalin ko. I knew I'd never feel for anyone the same feelings I felt for him.
Siya ang tanging lalaking mamahalin ko, ang una at huli ko.
Lumalim na ang paghinga ni Wayne at nang masigurado kong tulog na siya ay bumitiw
ako sa kanya. Binigyan ko siya ng isang mabilis na dampi sa labi bago ako tumakbo
papunta sa banyo. Doon ko pinakawalan ang luhang kanina ko pa pinipigil. I took a
shower and quietly got dressed.
I'm sorry, Wayne.
Akala ko naubos na ang lahat ng luha ko kanina sa loob ng shower pero nang makita
ko ulit siya, naiyak na naman ako. Mahimbing siyang natutulog sa ibabaw ng kama.
Ito na ba ang huling beses na makikita ko siya? Iyon na ba ang huling beses na
mahahawakan at mahahalikan ko siya?

Chapter Twenty Seven

Wayne's POV
I opened my eyes and found myself alone in bed. I sat up, stretched out my arms and
yawned. I usually wake up from Tanya's kisses and her voice whispering in my ear,
telling me to wake up. I got up from bed and put on my boxers before leaving the
bedroom to look for her. I opened the door to the living room and sniffed,
expecting the smell of a delicious meal only to be greeted by silence.
Did she leave early? Wala akong matandaan na may sinabi siya sa akin na papasok
siya nang maaga ngayon. I looked for her all over the house but found nothing. I
even tried to call her but her phone was turned off.
I noticed the door to the closet was open and when I checked it, most of her
clothes were already gone. I felt a throb in my chest, as if my heart wanted to
stop beating. It wanted sink into my gut as the realization started to take over
me. My legs felt like it wanted to give in. I sat on the edge of my bed, feeling
drained out of all energy.
I propped my elbows to my lap and buried my face into my hands. I wanted to cry but
no tears flooded my eyes. I wanted to scream but no would come. I raked my fingers
through my hair, my head was throbbing. Why would she leave? We were fine last
night. We even made love.
And then I paused, as if a light bulb switched on in my head. My father, he had
something to do with this. Tanya wouldn't leave me for no reason. It wasn't more
than a week ago when he
I put on some clean clothes and got the key to my car. I drove to his office. I
angrily marched towards the door to his office and slammed it open.
"What did you do to Tanya?" I roared as I stepped into the room and stopped in
front of his desk.
He lifted his gaze up to me. His eyes blinked from behind his glasses. "Sit down."
"No! Explain to me what you did to my girlfriend!" My chest heaved up and down with
so much fury. "Ano'ng ginawa mo? Bakit umalis si Tanya?"
"I paid her." He said in an apathetic and calm tone.
"You what?" My eyes widened in disbelief.
"I paid her two hundred and fifty thousand pesos to leave you." He said without
batting an eye. "And she took it."
My head slowly shook. "Hindi magagawa ni Tanya yun. She loves me."
"Maybe she does." He shrugged. "But it's obvious that she loves the money more than
she loves you."
"You're lying..." I said, almost in a whisper. I felt as if I'd run out of breath.
"Then where is she now?" He cocked his brow. "Why did she leave?"
"Why are you doing this?" I felt my head and my body going numb. Everything felt
numb. My body slumped down into the armchair in front of his desk. I couldn't
decide which was more painful, what my father did or Tanya leaving me. I didn't
know who I should hate more. I wanted to scream in anger but I just sat there. I
didn't know what to call these feelings but my insides felt like they had given up
on me. It was as if Tanya had carried my world and the moment she was gone, it came
crashing down. "She gave me the love I never got from you or my mother. She's all I
have, dad, and you took that away from me."
"Don't be an idiot. She just after your money. Ngayon alam mo na kung ano talaga
ang habol sa'yo nang babaeng yan."
"You really want to see me miserable, huh?" My voice slightly shook. "Fine, you
win."
"Wayne, you're my son. I don't want you miserable." There was a sudden softness in
his tone. "I'm only doing what I know is best for you."
"You're doing what's best for you." I said in a low voice.
He let out a deep sigh. "She's not right for you. You're still young. Marami ka
pang makikilalang babae."
I only wanted her. He wouldn't understand and I didn't want to explain. Gathering
enough strength, I pulled myself up and turned towards the door. I felt like my
heart had been shattered into million tiny pieces, all I felt everywhere was hurt.
My life for the past two weeks without her was a void. She was all I could think
about. I still couldn't believe she'd leave me for money. Hindi ako naniniwala kay
Dad. It wasn't the Tanya that I knew. It was completely out of her character. She
was never materialistic and worldly.

I took a sip of alcohol, trying to drown the neverending ache in my chest. I hadn't
cried since she left. She made me feel so much. She'd always held my emotions in
cupped hands until they could lift again. I tried to find her. I went back to her
old apartment but she wasn't there, I asked Edna if she knew where Tanya was, and
out of sheer desperation I even contacted Luis. None of the two knew where she was.
The pounding pressure on my chest grows heavier and heavier with each passing day.
"You okay?" Nick asked, patting me on the back.
I didn't answer. We were at a school mate's party. I wasn't in the mood to party
but I didn't want to spend another night cooped up in my room. I didn't want to go
home. It wasn't the same if I had to go back to a room that wasn't occupied by
Tanya. The pain of her absence lingered there. Home wouldn't be the same if it
meant going back without her.
"Yeah." I answered. "I'm just... tired."
"You're here to enjoy, not to mope around." Axel said.
"He's right. C'mon, let's just look for a lay. Maybe that'll get your mind off of
Tanya." I felt a pang of pain when Seth mentioned her name.
"No, I'm alright." I sighed.
They were trying to help. They really were. But nothing could take away this pain
away but Tanya. God, I miss coming home to her, I miss having to sleep next to her,
I miss her sweet scent, the feel of her soft skin against mine. I miss just being
in her presence.
"Dude." Tristan was walking towards us. "Nakita ko na si Tanya."
My head snapped up at the mention of her name. My heart felt like it just jumped
out of my chest.
"Where is she?"
"Kasama niya si Sasha. Nakita ko silang sumakay ng taxi."
"Who the hell is Sasha and where did they go?"
"Si Sasha yung kapatid bahay namin. Di ko alam kung saan sila nagpunta, di ko na
sila nahabol."
I sprung out of my seat. "I really need to see her. We need to talk."
Sumama sila sa akin papunta sa apartment complex na tinutuluyan ni Tristan kung
saan kapitbahay niya si Sasha. I drove as fast as I could, the guys even asked me
to slow down. I pulled up in front of the complex and I followed Tristan to Sasha's
apartment.
"Oh my god. Mga papa!" A guy with heavy make up on shrieked in a high pitch tone
when the door opened. "Nananaginip ba ako?"
"Do you know where Tanya is?" I asked.
"Jodie, saan ba pumunta si Sasha kasama si Tanya?" Si Tristan naman ang nagtanong.
The guy frowned, crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes. "Puro na lang
si Sasha ang hinahanap. Kailan bang may poging papa na maghahanap sakin?"
"Where is Tanya?" I impatiently asked again.
"Highblood lang?" He rolled his eyes at me. "Nasa airport na sila!"
"Airport?" My eyes grew big. "What are they doing there?"
"Eh di magfafly na sa Japan."
"Japan?" I looked at him, puzzled. What was she going to do in Japan? She'd never
mentioned this to me.
"Are you bingi? Ano ba 'to? Di ba nakakaintindi 'to ng tagalog, Tristan?" He looked
at Tristan and turned his attention back to me. "Tanya and Sasha go to Japan."
"Baka maabutan pa natin sila." Nick said.
"Malamang. Palagi naman traffic sa Edsa at tatawag naman sa akin si Sasha." The guy
said. "Papa, ano bang pangalan mo? Baka maibigay ko naman sa inyo ang hinahanap
niyo kina Tanya at Sasha." And then he winked at Nick.
Nick grimaced. "Uh, no. Hindi ako ang may kailangan sa kanila."
Seth and Axel snickered.
"Come on. Let's go! We're going to the airport." I urgently said.
"Ay ganon? Wala man lang thank you o kiss? Pagkatapos niyong makuha ang gustos niyo
sa akin!" I heard the guy shout as we were walking away.
We went back into my car and I drove to the airport. It took us about forty five
minutes to get there. I was hoping and praying that I'd still see her.
We headed towards the departure entrance and was stopped by the two securities.
"Check ko lang po ang passport niyo."
"This won't take long. May hahanapin lang ako lang ako."
"Hindi kayo pwedeng pumasok ng walang passport." The guy told us.
"Please, please, just let us in. I just need to find my girlfriend." I begged.
"Hindi talaga pwede, sir." Security number two said.
"Please!" I desperately said. "Kahit five minutes lang. Kahit samahan niyo pa ako."
"Sir, hindi talaga." He shook his head. "Masisisante kami kapag ginawa namin iyon."
"Will you please just let us in? I'm Seth Timothy Fonacier, the son of Nelson
Fonacier. My father owns the Pacific Pearl Airlines." Seth said.
"Sorry, sir. Paano naman namin malalaman kung nagsasabi kayo ng totoo? At saka di
pa din namin kayo pwedeng papasukin dahil wala nga kayong passport."
"My father will know of this." Seth threatened.
"Ginagawa lang namin trabaho namin." One of the securities said.
Seth and the securities began to argue. There was a huge glass wall where you could
see a line of people putting their bags through security screening. A familiar
figure caught my attention. Even with her back turned, I recognized her. I'd
memorize every curve of her body, every indention that my hands had held. She was
wearing a simple white tee and a pair of jeans.
"Tanya..." I uttered her name and then shouted it. "TANYA! TANYA!"
Her head turned and our gaze met. Her eyes widened briefly when she saw me and then
a watery film began to coat her eyes. She avoided my gaze and stared hard at the
ground.
"There's my girlfriend! I need to talk to her." I said walking in but then the
securities grabbed me by the arms. I tried to pry my arms loose but they wouldn't
let me go. "Tanya!"
I shouted her name over and over but she ignored me, as if she didn't hear
anything. She turned her back again, putting her bag on the x-ray belt and going
in. I shouted until my throat felt was raw and there were hot tears running down my
cheeks. She never looked back again. Not a single glimpse.
They called more securities and we were escorted out of the airport. My body sagged
like a deadweight when we got into my car. None of the guys spoke. It was so quiet
you could hear a pin drop.
I was still trying to figure out what happened. I was still trying to take it all
in. How could something so perfect fall apart so quickly? How could she leave me?
Was it that easy for her to walk away? She just left without a word or warning. She
left me, just like what my mother did to me. Was it hard to love me? Was it really
that easy to leave me? I couldn't help but feel like it was one of the easiest
decision she had ever made.
I loved her with everything I had, with every single part of me. She was my life.
And she left me for money. I would've given her the world. How could she do this to
me?
Angry tears fell from my eyes that I refused to acknowledge with a wipe from my
hand. My teeth grinded against each other in an attempt to stall the oncoming
outburst.
On that day, a part of me died.

Chapter Twenty Eight

Tanya's POV

Matagal na mula nang huling beses akong nakaapak sa Pilipinas. Ilang taon na ang
nakalipas. Holding a glass of champange in one hand, I looked outside the window.
Nagniningning ang mga ilaw sa siyudad, parang mga tala sa lupa.
He crossed my mind again. I took in a deep breath when I felt the growing pressure
in my chest. Kumusta na kaya siya? Minsan kaya sumasagip pa rin ako sa isip niya?
Maraming taon na ang lumipas pero hindi ko pa rin siya makalimutan. Some would say
it was just a teenage love but to me, it was more than that. Wayne was more than a
teenage love. He was the love of my life.
I wondered how he was doing now. May girlfriend na ba siya? Asawa? Anak? Masaya na
kaya siya? Kung magkikita ba kami makikilala niya pa rin ako?
"Tanya, darling." Narinig ko ang boses ni George at agad akong napalingon.
I smiled at him.
He wrapped his arms around the small of my back and pressed a gentle kiss on the
side of my head. "You've been standing there for almost an hour now. What are you
thinking about?"
"Wala." I shook my head, keeping my smile intact. "Hindi lang ako makapaniwala na
nasa Pilipinas na ulit ako."
"Then believe it now." Nakangiting sabi niya.
"Ang tagal na kasi mula nang nakauwi ako dito." Bumuntong-hininga ako.
He looked at me. Inipit niya ang ilang hibla ng buhok ko sa likod ng tainga ko. He
took something out from his inside coat pocket. A black rectangular box. He opened
it and showed me a beautiful diamond necklace.
"George, it's beautiful." I said, looking at it.
"It'll look even more beautiful once you wear it." He said.
I shook my head. "No, no, I can't accept that."
"Please, darling, I insist. I had this made especially for you. Ngayon na nga lang
ako bumabawi. We hadn't seen each other for quite awhile."
"Naiintindihan ko naman. May pamilya ka."
"But that doesn't give me a free pass for neglecting you." He said. "Turn around, I
want to put this on you."
"George." I hesitated.
"Turn around."
Wala na akong nagawa kung hindi ako tumalikod sa kanya at isinuot niya sa akin ang
kuwintas.
"Let me see." Narinig kong sabi niya at umikot ulit ako para humarap sa kanya.
"It's beautiful. It would look perfect with the evening dress I bought for you."
"Evening dress?" Kumunot ang noo ko. "Saan ko naman susuotin iyon?"
"For the charity event this evening." He answered.
"You're taking me to the charity event?" My eyes widened.
"Yes."
"There'll be people there."
He let out a low chuckle. "Of course, you silly goose. It's an event."
"Dito na lang ako." I shrugged.
"Tanya, sasama ka sa akin." He said with thick accent. Nakakaintindi si naman si
George nang tagalog pero hindi siya gaano nakakapagsalita. "I want you to come with
me."
"I just don't want to cause any trouble. Hindi matutuwa si Eleanor kapag nalaman
niya iyon. I know where I stand."
"Darling, don't mind Eleanor. She's my problem, not yours."
"Ayaw kong mag-away kayo dahil sa akin."
"I don't care if we get into a fight. I want to spend time with you. I'm trying to
make up for the times we've missed together."
"You don't have to. I understand your situation."
He pulled me closer to him and kissed the top of my head. "Why does it always have
to be you who has to understand?" Bumuntong-hininga siya at tinitigan ako sa mga
mata. "Don't think you're not special to me because darling, you are. I'm sorry you
had to go through this."

Wayne's POV

"Shit." I uttered under my breath when I saw the time on my phone. It was already
three in the afternoon. My eyes were still heavy but I willed myself to wash off my
sleepiness. It was time to go. I had to get ready for the charity event dinner this
evening.
"Wayne." The woman next to me wrapped her arms around my waist and burying her face
into my neck.
"I need to go." I moved her arm away from me.
"Do you really?" She mumbled lazily.
"Yeah." I sat on the edge of the bed, picking my boxer up from the bedside table
and putting it on. I found my jeans on the floor along with my shirt. After getting
dress, I stood up and headed towards the exit.
"Wayne, are you going to call me?" The woman asked.
"Sure." I answered, apathetically.
I hurriedly left and went back to my condo. I had three hours to get ready. The
charity event was important for my business. That's where I find potential
investors. I was planning to expand my business and open up a new club lounge.
I took a shower and got dressed. I wore a classic black tuxedo. Standing in front
of the full length mirror, I fixed my bowtie and my hair. I stood up straight. I
looked professional. Slick and confident.
I'd cut ties with my father the moment I got out of college. I started my own
business with the money I saved and not once had I asked for my father's help. I
didn't want anything to do with him and I was sure he felt the same way for me. He
never even checked on me to see if I was still alive. It was better this way. We
didn't have a good relationship to begin with so why bother? I was a thorn in his
flesh and he had no love for me.
Enough with the sob stories. I slid into my tuxedo coat and opened the cabinet.
That was where I put my expensive watches and jewelries. I was planning to wear my
Vacheron Constantin watch I'd bought during my trip in Switzerland. I found the box
but something else caught my attention. A small silver ring. I couldn't resist the
temptation to pick it up.
Why did I put it here? This doesn't even cost shit. I rolled the ring between my
two fingers. Those distant memories felt like a flickering match stick. The warmth
fades yet the sentiments linger on. I felt heaviness in my chest.
I couldn't help but think of her. She still crosses my mind every now and then. I
still wonder how she was doing? I still think of the what ifs from time to time.
Yes, I was angry with her for leaving but I do hope wherever she was, she was doing
fine. No woman had ever made me feel even as close to how she made me feel. I dated
a few women but none of them really lasted.
I was devastated when Tanya left me. I felt lost. You know how they say that you
have to go through the five stages of grief. I went through it all. All five of it.
Over and over. What they really don't tell you is that it doesn't end on the fifth
stage. You go back to the first and go through it all over again. It's like being
stuck in a loop. You can't heal your way back to blissful ignorance. You can't will
innocence back into existence. The pain will always be there, you just learn to
deal with it.
I'd thought of throwing this ring away but I just couldn't get myself to do it. I
couldn't. I put it back to its place and got my watch.
The party was filled with men in tuxedos and women in evening dresses. It was a
high end charity event. I spent my time talking to number of businessmen. Some had
shown interest in investing in my business. How couldn't they? My clubs, lounges,
and bars were the hottest thing around.
"Is that her?" I heard two women whispering in front of me while I was walking
around.
"Who?" The other woman asked.
"George Sullivan's rumored mistress." The first woman whispered.
"Oh." Woman number one said. "In all fairness, she's very beautiful."
"But why did he have to bring her with him?" The woman made a face. "Hindi niya ba
naisip na mga kilalang tao ang nandito. If he had any shame in him, he wouldn't be
blantantly parading his mistress around."
I looked up and directed my eyes to where they were looking. They were looking at a
caucasian man that looked like he was in his late 50s. Clinging onto his arm was a
young woman in a red satin evening dress. I suddenly paused when I looked at the
woman's face. My whole body felt as though it had been struck a blow. My heart
started beating erratically.
Tanya
I blinked, trying to focus on what I'd just seen. But she was still Tanya. I wasn't
imagining it. The woman with the older man was her. She was still beautiful. Time
had only enhanced her beauty. She looked more refined now and delicate as ever. She
had a beauty that was fully concious and aware of itself. She walked confidently
with her chin up. Everyone were turning their heads to her direction. It was as if
a spotlight had landed on her.
Tanya and the older man were laughing and talking as they walked. She looked happy
now. It did cause a knot of anger in my chest. It looked like happy with another
guy now. An older rich guy. The guy she was with was George Sullivan, an owner of a
big brokerage firm.
I turned around, not wanting to see her again. That part of my life was over now.
She was just a part of my past. I shouldn't feel anything for her anymore. She
wasn't worth my emotions. I headed to the bar to get myself something to drink.
The pain was still there. Seeing her felt like I'd open a healing wound and
sprinkled it with salt. Ten years and she still had this effect on me. I tried to
shake the feeling away. We were adults now. I shouldn't be feeling this way.
She means nothing to me anymore. Absolutely nothing.
My fingers tightened around the glass I was holding. I couldn't keep still in my
sit. My eyes started wandering around, trying to find her again. I saw her by
herself, looking at the paintings and sculptures that will be auctioned later.
I downed a glass of whiskey to calm my nerves. I got out of my seat and headed
towards her. I didn't know how to approach her so I stayed a few feet away from her
and watched her. She was so much more beautiful than she had been before. Her face
still gave off an air of innocence. She still had that vivid glow. It had been many
years ago but the softness of her skin was still imprinted on my senses, the sound
of her voice still rung in my soul.
She lifted her gaze up, probably feeling the weight of me staring at her. Our eyes
met and it was as if everything stood still. We couldn't hear the outside world
anymore. It was just me and her, in our little world. Just like before...
"Hi." I spoke.
She blinked as though coming out of a daze. "Wayne..."
I smiled at her. "Nice to see you again."
Chapter Twenty Nine
https://youtu.be/4QTqu-QbEgo
Wayne's POV

She looked at me as if she'd seen a ghost. Surprise was evident on her face. I
tried to keep my emotions hidden as best as I could. All those pent up anger that I
had surpressed for a long time was begging to be released. After so many years, I
thought I was over it. But now it all came rushing back.
"Hi." She croacked softly after a brief moment of silence.
She was no longer the teenage girl I knew ten years ago, she was a lady now and she
had grown into her body well. She was more breathtaking now, more heart stopping.
She might look beautiful and innocent but I knew how cold the blood was that run
through her veins.
"It's been a long time, huh? I never thought I'd bump into you. How are you?" I
forced my features to betray nothing as I talked to her.
"I'm fine." Her voice quivered slightly.
I nodded my head, keeping my smile intact. "Are you with someone?"
She opened her mouth to say something but before she could do so, someone called
her name.
"Tanya..." A deep and smooth voice said. My head turned to the man walking towards
us. George Sullivan. He wrapped an arm around the small of her back. My hands
involuntarily clenched into fists. I used to be the only one who could hold her
like that.
"See anything you like?" He asked.
Tanya averted her eyes from me to him. She smiled at him and shook her head.
"This painting would look good in the living room." He said, looking at the
abstract painting on the wall in front of him.
"Um, George, this is Wayne." She introduced me to him.
"Oh, hi!" He looked at me and gave me a warm smile. He held out his hand, offering
a hand shake.
My jaw clenched and stared down at his hand for a second before taking it.
"I'm pleased to meet you, Wayne." He said. "I'm George Sullivan."
"Wayne Cameron St. Croix." My voice came out formal and stiff.
"St. Croix? Are you somehow associated to St. Croix Land Incorporation?" He asked.
"My father owns the comapany." I answered. "But besides that, I am not in anyway
affliated with it. I have my own."
He nodded his head. "I see. So what business are you in?"
"Bars, clubs, and lounge. I'm actually planning to expand my business and build
another bar lounge. I'm looking for people who are willing to invest in my
business."
"Interesting." George said. "I want to hear more. Do you mind sitting with us so we
can talk about it?"
"Not at all." I said, throwing a glance at Tanya. She seemed to be tensed and
seeing her closely fused my senses off.
I followed them to their table and sat with them. I could feel the tension in the
air between us. Tanya was avoiding eye contact with me, staring down on the table.
She looked so expensive now, so regal. Of course, how couldn't she? She was a
mistress of an old, rich man. I felt angry and resentful.
I turned my attention back to George and we started talking business, Tanya was
quiet the whole time.
"Your proposition sounds very attractive. I'm willing to invest as much as it
takes, whatever amount is necessary. But I want to become more than an investor, I
want to us to be business partners." He said.
I cocked a brow. I didn't want any business partner. I just wanted someone to
invest on my business. I didn't want anyone deciding for my business other than me.
"Don't worry." He smiled, sensing my concern. "I have my own business to run. Hindi
kita pakikialaman sa mga desisyon mo. I just want someone to mentor Tanya."
"George." Tanya's eyes widened. "I... I don't know anything about businesses. I
don't want to get involved with it."
"I can't always be here, darling. I need someone to run the business while I'm
gone. I can't stay here, I need to go back to Belgium. I'll visit you every now and
then." George said.
Darling. My jaw clenched when I heard what he called Tanya. How fuckin' sweet.
"Ayaw kong magpatakbo ng negosyo." There was tension on Tanya's face and voice.
"You know I'm not good with businesses."
"That's the reason why I want Wayne to mentor you. He'll teach you everything you
need to know." George looked at me. "Won't you, Wayne?"
A sly smile appeared on the corner of my lips. I glanced at Tanya. "Of course."

Tanya's POV
Napalunok ako ng makita ang ngiti sa mga labi ni Wayne. Nakangiti siya pero iba ang
sinasabi ng mga mata niya. Nakakapaso ang mga tingin niya sa akin.
After all these years, kabisadong-kabisado ko pa rin ang mga galaw niya, kung ano
ang ibig sabihin ng mga tingin niya at kung ano ang tumatakbo sa isip niya.
Nararamdaman ko ang galit sa likod ng mga ngiting iyon.
They had already made a deal. Pumayag na si Wayne na maging business partner si
George. George had to go back to his family in Belgium and I had to work with
Wayne. Tahimik lang akong nakikinig habang nag-uusap sila tungkol sa negosyo. There
was fear but there was also anticipation. Takot na malaman kong wala na akong
halaga sa kanya at pagkasabik na makasama siya ulit.
Nang makita ko siya, napatunayan ko sa sarili ko na wala pa rin nagbabago sa
nararamdaman ko sa kanya. Hindi nabawasan kahit konti ang pagmamahal ko, nadagdagan
lang iyon ng pagkasabik. Natatakot lang ako na baka hindi na kami pareho nang
nararamdaman. Hindi ko siya masisisi. Ako ang nang-iwan at ako isa pa, maraming
taon na ang nakalipas. We were both young and he had probably moved on.
I never did move on. I still thought of him, I still dreamt of, I still wondered if
he was okay, what he was doing. He was still a part of me. He was still the love of
my life.
Mapaglaro nga talaga ang tadhana. Hindi ko inaasahan na magkikita pa kami. Akala ko
mananatili na lang siyang parte ng nakaraan ko. Ang nakaraan na hindi ko pa rin
makalimutan hanggang ngayon. The moment I saw him, all I wanted was to throw my
arms around him. I tried my very best to hold my tears when I said 'hi' to him.
George lifted his glass up. "Cheers to our new partnership."
"Cheers." Itinaas din ni Wayne ang glass niya. And he threw another glance at me.
I fiddled with my fingers out of nervousness and took my eyes off him. Hindi ko
namalayan na kanina pa pala ako nakatitig sa kanya. I wanted to memorize face. Take
it all in. Natatakot ako na baka pagnalingap ako ng tingin, mawala na siya.
Natatakot ako na baka panaginip lang ang lahat ng ito.
"May I have a dance with you?" His deep and silky voice said.
Surpised, I lifted my gaze up to him again. He was staring at me. Tumaas ang isang
sulok ng labi niya nang tumingin ako sa kanya. Pagkatapos ay nalipat ang tingin ko
kay George.
"Go ahead." George smiled and gave me a nod. "I'll just stay here."
Wayne got up from his seat. Tumayo siya sa harap ko at nilahad ang kamay niya sa
akin. I took it. Parang may kuryenteng dumaloy sa katawan ko nang maglapat ang mga
kamay namin. It sent shivers down my spine I'd missed the feeling of his skin
against mine.

Tumayo ako mula sa kinauupuan ko at dinala niya ako sa gitna ng dance floor. The
romantic melody was coming from the grand piano being played on the stage. There
were no words or lyrics. Just the beautiful and gentle music emanating from the
piano.
He put his hands on the either side of my waist and I put mine on his shoulders. He
smelled of expensive cologne mixed with his distinct scent. Kusang pumikit ang mga
mata ko nang maamoy iyon. My body seemed to have recognized him. There was this
warm, calming feeling of "You belong here" that washed over me. I'd miss him, his
hand, his arms, his scent, the heat his body emits.
"Tanya..." I heard him say.
I opened my eyes and was greeted by a pair of dark and beautiful eyes. Malamig ang
mga mata niya habang nakatitig siya sa akin.
"I'm very excited to work with you." He said in a professional tone.
What happened in the past was long over. We were strangers now... strangers with a
past.
"M-me too." I answered back with shaky voice.
"How have you been doing the last, what, ten years?"
He was so casual and here I was, trying to stop my legs from shaking.
"I've... had a lot of things happen to me. I've earned a degree liberal studies.
I've worked at a company in Scotland and decided I want to go back here." I
answered.
He nodded his head. "I see. You've done a lot in your life. You're staying her for
good?"
"Yes."
"How did you meet George Sullivan?"

My eyes fell on the ground. "Noong nagtatrabaho pa ako sa Japan."

"I see." He said in a stoic tone. "Mukhang malapit kayo sa isa't isa. He seems to
trust you well enough to let you handle his business."
"George is a wonderful person. I trust him just as much." Matipid na sagot ko.
I could see the bitterness and disdain in his eyes as he looked at me. I gasped
when one of his hand began to move and carressed the side of my body, stopping just
below my breast.
"Can't blame him. It's hard not to trust a beautiful face like yours." Makahulugan
na sabi niya.

My chest clenching tightly. "Wayne... I'm sorry..."

He let out a low chuckle. "For what?"
"For leaving you." I swallowed my sob and let my head rest against his chest. I
didn't do it conciously. My body wanted his warmth. Naramdaman kong humigpit ang
pagkahawak niya sa akin. His familiarity was comforting. It was so cozy. This was
where I belong.
"That was ten years ago, Tanya. We were young back then." He said, keeping the smug
smile on his face. "We're two mature adults now. I've forgotten about it a long
time ago."
I took in a deep breath. It confirmed my fear. It felt as if something inside me
had collapsed. Masakit pa rin. Akala ko naghilom na ang sugat sa dibdib ko pero
masakit pa rin. Ang mas masakit. Alam kong ako ang may kasalanan kung bakit nawala
sa akin ang lalaking mahal ko. It wasn't anyone's fault but mine.
Akala ko ba lahat ng sugat kayang gamutin ng panahon. Bakit parang mas lumalalim
lang iyon? Parang gusto nang bumigay ng tuhod ko.
"Gusto ko nang umupo." Mahinang sabi ko.
"Why?" Kumunot ang noo niya. "We just got here."
"Please, Wayne." Pakiusap ko.
He let out a deep sigh. Dahan-dahan na binitiwan niya ako. The moment his hands
left my body, I felt as though a part of me had been torn off. I felt empty...
I turned away from him, trying to hide the pain in my eyes and headed back to the
table. Bumalik ako sa kinauupuan ni George. Wayne followed behind me. Our eyes met
and he gave me a knowing stare.
"Is everything okay?" Tanong ni George.
"Yeah." Napakurap ako.
"You look pale." Pansin niya.
"I'm just tired." Bumuntong-hininga ako.
"Do you want to leave?" He asked.
I nodded my head. It would hurt to leave but I knew it would be a torture to stay.
I was just so overwhelmed with what was happening tonight. I needed a break from
it. It was as if Wayne had broken a glass in which I put every emotion I'd locked
so no one could touch it and everything escaped.
Nagpaalam na si George kay Wayne. Wayne just nodded a goodbye and looked at me. His
eyes were sharp and piercing. Hinawakan ako ni George sa braso at iginaya palabas.
I glanced at Wayne one more time. I was leaving him again and it was heartbreaking.

Chapter Thirty
Wayne's POV
George rang me and we decided to meet in one of my clubs to talk about the business
and our partnership. If it weren't for Tanya, I wouldn't have agreed to what he
wanted. The idea of her working under me excited me. Yeah, under me. My groin
stirred at the thought of her beneath me. I wanted her beneath me despite what she
had done. Huwag lang magkakamaling iwan sa akin si Tanya. I couldn't promise to
keep my hands off her.
Ten years had passed but my feelings for her came rushing back as if it had only
been yesterday when she left me. I wasn't going to deny that there was still an
ache when I saw her with George. The woman I'd loved, the woman I'd given my heart
and soul to was now an old man's mistress. Maybe dad was right. She was a whore. A
whore who would do anything for easy money.
"Mr. St. Croix." My thoughts were cut when I heard my secretary's voice in the
intercom.
I pressed the button and spoke. "Yes?"
"Mr. George Sullivan is here to see you."
"Let him in." I said.
After a couple of seconds the door opened. George walked in and right behind her
was Tanya. She stiffened when our eyes met. I beamed her a subtle and contemptuous
smile.
"Good to see you again, Wayne." George politely said.
"Good to see you too, George." And then I looked at Tanya. "And you too, Tanya." I
said and gestured my hand over the two armchair in front of my desk. "Please, sit
down."
He quietly sat on the right armchair while Tanya sat on the left.
"Do you want anything? Juice, alcohol, coffee?" I asked them.
"I'll have a shot of whiskey, if you have any." George said.
"Of course," I said, smiling at him and then my attention averted to Tanya. "How
'bout you, Tanya? Do you want some mango juice?" That was what she used to always
orders whenever we dine out.
"She likes Shirley Temple. Do you have any as well?" George said.
"We do." I answered and turned my gaze to Tanya. "I see your taste have changed." I
darkly said with a snide. She didn't say anything and avoided my gaze. I pressed
the intercom and told my secretary to get them some drinks. Within a few minutes,
the drinks were served.
"To finalize our agreement, I've already contacted my lawyer to make a writen
contract." I took out a file from my desk cabinet and layed it down in front of
George. "That is just the draft. Kung may gusto kang idagdag o ibawas pwede natin
pag-usapan yan."
"Everything looks good. I just want to change one particular thing." He said as he
scanned through the contract. "I want Tanya's name written here as your business
partner."
"George, no." She shook her head. "I don't know anything about running a business."
"That's why you have Wayne, darling. Gusto kong panatag ang loob ko kapag iniwan ko
kayo dito." He smiled tenderly.
"Pwede naman akong maghanap ng trabaho." She said.
"Isn't this a job?" He let out a jolly chuckle. "You're a smart woman, darling. I'm
confident in putting my full trust in you."
"Ayaw mo ba akong makatrabaho, Tanya?" One corner of my lips lifted into a smirk.
"No, it's not that..." Her voice was soft.
"I'm sure Mr. St. Croix here will take care of you." George gave me a soft smile.
"Very good care." I responded and looked at Tanya. I smiled to myself when I saw
how tense it made her. I felt satisified, seeing her all riled up like that.
"See. You have nothing to worry about." He told Tanya.
We started talking about business. I explained my plans and ideas and he also added
a few and told me what he didn't like about some of my ideas. George was an
intelligent businessman, I couldn't deny that. He definitely knew what he was
doing. He'd been in this industry for a long time now. Even though I didn't like
him as a person, I had full utter and respect for him as a businessman.
As we were talking, his phone rang and he excused himself. He went out of my office
and I was left alone with Tanya. There was a sudden and heavy silence hanging in
the room. It was so silent you could hear the clock tick every second. Tanya was
trying so hard to avoid looking at me.
What do old lovers talk about? What do you say to a stranger who you once saw a
future with, a stranger who you had loved with all your heart, a stranger with
painful memories that remained engraved in your heart?
I wanted to curse at her. I wanted to ask her why she had to leave, why she chose
money over me. I wanted to ask if she really did love me or did I ever matter to
her. I wanted to tell her how I fucking hate her and how disgusted I was with her.
I wanted to tell her a lot of things but those words never came out.
"I'm very excited to work with you." I said this instead.
It seemed to have startled her. She lifted her head up to look at me. "Likewise."
"You look beautiful today, Tanya." Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, she had
some make up on, nude probably. "You look so now."
She swallowed. "It's been years. Marami nang nagbago."
"I can see that." I nodded my head.
The door opened and George walked in in a hurry. He bent over to give Tanya a kiss
on the side of her hair. My fists clenched involuntarily. "I'm sorry, darling. I
have a very important business I need to attend. Ikaw na ang bahala dito." George
turned to me. "My apologies, Mr. St. Croix."
"It's alright. Nandito naman si Tanya. Siya naman ang makakasama ko madalas." I
answered with a snide.
George said goodbye and left.
"Somethings never did." I said, picking up where we had left of before George came
in. "You can have a man wrapped around your little finger. Any man would give you
the moon and stars if you asked for them." I chuckled, masking my anger as a joke.
She didn't smile. She nervously bit her bottom lip. "Wayne..."
"I'm just kidding. Can't you take a little joke? Para naman wala tayong
pinagsamahan." I casually said.
She didn't say a word.
I tried my very best to act professional while I talk to her. She was obviously not
experienced but she seemed to understand what I was saying. She was able to keep
up.
"It's already five and I still haven't eaten anything since this morning." I said,
looking down at my wrist watch. "Let's eat out."
"Huh? It's okay... I just ate." She said. "Mabuti pa umuwi na lang ako."
"No. I want to take you out. We're going to be business partners. I want to know
more about the person I'm going to work with." I got up from my seat and walked up
to where she was sitting. Like a true gentleman, I held a hand out for her.
She looked at my palm and then averted her gaze at me. I answered with a smile.
Slowly, her hand lifted up and hesistantly took mine. She stood up and wrapped my
other free hand on the back of her waist. She flinched a little and took in a harsh
breath.
"Are you scared of me, Tanya?" I asked, my mouth almost touching her ear. God, she
smelled so damn good. Her scent brought nostalgia. I remembered snuggling into her
after a hot love making. And the heat her body brings, it was so welcoming. I
remembered the simple intimacy we shared when we were clueless and young.
"No..." She answered breathlessly.
"Good." I smiled.
You should be. I thought

We could see the view of the Manila bay sunset from where we were sitting, inside
an intimate restaurant right beside the window. There were candles burning on the
tables. I glanced another look at Tanya. This was the restaurant where we first
met, where I asked her to take her underwear off.
I never thought that night would change life. I never thought I'd fall in love with
her. I never thought I was capable of loving someone more than I love myself. I'd
never had anybody in my life like her and I vowed to myself I would never allow
anyone in again. I'd learned my lessons.
When she left it was as if a part of me had been torn off. It made sense. The
harder you fall in love, the further they get into your soul until they become a
part of you, the more it hurts when you lose that person. I felt like a stranger in
my own body and life because I became so accustomed to her being a part of me. I
never thought of anything as me, I thought of everything as us. And then in the
blink of an eye, at a drop of a hat, she was gone.
"Paano ka napunta sa Scotland?" I asked as we were eating.
"George brought me there." She said.
George. I wanted to grimace everytime she mentions that old guy's name.
"You said you worked in Scotland? Ano'ng naging trabaho mo doon?"
"I've worked as a human resource specialist."
"Interesting." I said. "What made you decide to go back here?"
"Scotland isn't for me. Mas gusto ko dito. At isa pa, matagal ko nang hindi
nabibisita ang puntod ni nanay."
"I visit tita Esther, every now and then." I said. She was wonderful woman. All I
have was love and respect for her. She was the mother I never had.
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me. I'm not doing it for you. Tita Esther was special to me, I've
grown fond of her in the short amount of time I spent with her." I sighed. "How did
those ten years pass by so quickly? Parang kahapon lang nangyari ang mga iyon."
She nodded her head with a sad smile. "Kamusta ka naman? Looks like your business
is in good shape."
"Yeah, it's doing good." I nodded and my eyes glided down her body. She was wearing
a white blazer paired with white suit pants and stilettos. "But I don't think I'm
making enough money to be able to afford you. You look expensive now."
Her face shifted into something else. "I'm not the girl I used to be, Wayne. Hindi
ko pinagbibili ang sarili ko."
Because somebody else owns you.
"Hindi nga ba?" I cocked a brow at her.
"I... I think I should go home." She said and stood up from her seat.
"Leaving too soon?" I let out a smirk. "Go ahead. That's what you're good at,
leaving."
There was a pained expression on her face before she lowered her gaze and started
walking away. I payed the bill and got out of the restaurant. I rode my car and saw
her standing by the sidewalk. I rolled my window down.
"Hop in." I said.
"May magsusundo na sa akin." She said, avoiding looking at me.
"It's already late, Tanya. Baka kung mapaano ka pa. Madilim dito."
She ignored me.
"I'm not going leave until you get it."
It took her awhile a a lot of convincing before she got into my car. She gave me
the direction to the place where she was staying but other than that we never
really talked. There was heavy tension between us. After a few minutes, I pulled up
in front of a house. It wasn't small but it wasn't big either and it had white
picket fence around it.
She muttered a small thank you before getting out of the car. I watched as she
headed towards the front door and disappeared through them. Minutes had passed by
and I was still in front of her house. I didn't leave. I couldn't get myself to. I
just stared at the house. It was our dream house...
Horrible gut wretching pain engulfed me, the tightness in my chest was so painfully
I could barely catch a breath. She'd built our dream house with someone else.
It was as if my body had a mind of its own and it forced me out of the car. I found
myself knocking on her door and after a few knocks the door opened.
"George-" She paused when she saw me.
"I am not George." I growled, threading my fingers through the back of her hair and
pulled her into a heated kiss, crashing my lips against her. She gasped and tried
to push me away but I didn't budge. And then she was responding to my kiss. We
kissed like there was nothing more important in the world. I was in euphoria in the
moment as we were kissing, as if trying to make up for the lost time. I pushed her
and closed the door behind us with my foot. I pinned her to the wall and she
automatically wrapped her arms around me.
How my body still remembers things I forced it to forget. The familiarity of every
touch, every kiss, it was there. It was urgent like a drug addict that hadn't had
his fix for a long time., the first time together after so long. She was wearing a
robe. I pulled it open and it revealed her silk nightdress. I let her robe slide
from her arms to the floor and in one swift motion I was able to take her nighties
off.
Screw foreplay. I needed her now. I needed to be buried inside her - deep inside
her. And I needed it now.
"Wayne, stop. Baka makita tayo-"
"I don't fucking care! Let him see us!" I groaned, crashing my lips against hers.
I pulled her panties down and lifted her legs up to my waist, she wrapped it around
me. I thrust forward and sunk into her perfectly warm and tight flesh, as if it was
made only for me.. She let out a small whimper. God she was so tight and so fuckin
wet around me. I stopped for a moment so we could both get used to the feeling. She
gasped audibly when I surged slightly deeper into her. I started thursting in and
out, slow at first and then it became faster, more urgent. She buried her face into
my neck and moaned quietly as her hands clawed on my back.
A few more thrust and I released myself.
We were breathing heavily, my heart pounding against her skin, our sweats mingling
in together with each other. Then slowly, she unwrapped her arms and legs from me
and pulled away. She tried to get away from me but I didn't let her. I caged her
body in between my arms.
"Pakawalan mo ako." She softly said, her eyes were pinned on the floor, not daring
to look at me straight in the eyes.
I shook my head. "I want you again."
"Please, Wayne." She begged, almost on the verge of tears.
"Where's your room?" I asked.
"Umuwi ka na."
"Tell me where your room is or do you want me to fuck you here again?" I said in a
dark voice.
She swallowed, as if holding back a sob. With shaky hands she pointed to the first
door on the left. I picked her up and carried her into that room. I layed her down
the bed and pulled her legs apart. My head bent down and suckled her breast,
drawing a soft moan from her. My hands went down in between us and I touched her
pussy. She was dripping wet, from my essence and hers. My finger found her clit and
she tensed her muscle, recoiling. I felt myself getting hard again. My hips slammed
into hers and I was inside her again.
I heard the door click open and paused when a small voice spoke, "Mommy?"

Chapter Thirty One

Wayne's POV
Tanya immediately pushed me off her and grabbed the blanket. She covered herself up
with it and I pulled my pants up. I turned to see a silhoutte of a small figure in
the dark walking towards us. I felt like I'd been splashed with cold water. It was
enough to turn my hard on soft. There was a little kid in the room!
"Therese, what are you doing here?" Tanya tried to sound calm but her voice came
out strained.
The figure reached for the lampshade beside the bed and switched it on. Tanya
tensed, clutching the blanket even tighter. The figure turned out to be a beautiful
little girl. The girl looked like she could be five or six years old. She rubbed
her sleepy eyes with one hand while clutching a book on the other. She yawned,
looking up at Tanya.
"I fell asleep waiting for you. You didn't read me-" She paused when her eyes
caught me. Her brows furrowed. "Who's he, mommy?"
Tanya looked at me before looking back at the little girl. She opened her mouth but
said nothing and closed it back. She didn't know what to say. She was in obvious
turmoil. It took me a while to react too.
"Hi." I awkwardly said. "I'm your mom's friend."
"Why are you in her bed?" She cocked a brow.
"I-" I thought of a reason but couldn't think of any. Tanya remained speechless.
"Are you sleeping with my mommy?" She asked.
"Uh..." I looked at Tanya, not knowing what to say.
"Is this a sleep over?" Her eyes glowed with excitement.
"Therese, go back to your room. Pupuntahan na lang kita doon." Tanya finally spoke.
"But mommy, I want to sleep with you." She climbed up the bed and crawled in
between us. She turned to me and waved. "Hello, mommy's friend. What's your name?"
"I'm..." I glanced at Tanya who had a mortified look on her face. "I'm Wayne."
"I'm Therese Caroline Sullivan. My favorite color is yellow and my favorite number
is five because I'm five years old, and here's my favorite book." She showed me the
book she was holding. The book was titled Clifford the Big Red Dog. "Can you read
this for me, Mr. Wayne?"
"No!" Tanya said. "Go back to your-"
"Sure." I answered, taking the book from her. I began to read it. "My dog is a big
red dog. Other kids I know have dogs, too. Some are big dogs..."
The little girl, Therese, listened intently. Tanya couldn't do anything but watch
with mouth gaping. I was halfway through the short story when Therese fell closed
her eyes and drifted to sleep. My eyes narrowed at Tanya as I closed the book,
waiting for her to explain.
"Please, just go." She said with small, shaky voice. "Baka magising ang anak ko.
Ayaw kong makita niyang nandito ka pa."
I felt the muscles in my face tightening in a deeper frown. She looked at me with
eyes begging and I sighed. I carefully slid out of the bed and got out of the room.
I walked out of the house and my body collapsed on the driver's seat the moment I
opened the car door. I felt weak like I had been drained.
I just met Tanya's daughter... and she almost caught me fucking her mother. I raked
my fingers through my pounding head as I tried to take it in. Tanya had a
daughter... She's had a child with another man. A pang of jealousy suddenly hit me
like a ton of brick. And then I felt angry. What I was feeling had nothing to do
with the little girl, she seemed like a lovely child, but more to do with Tanya.
I thought of the life we could've had together if she hadn't left me. Thar house
could've been ours. That could've been my child. They could've been my family...
Our worlds were different now but I still remained the same. I hadn't forgiven what
I tried to forget.
Sitting there in silence, I understood the many ways a person could die but still
be alive.

Tanya's POV
Nakaharap ako sa salamin sa loob ng banyo at tinignan ang repleksyon ng hubad na
katawan ko. Naiwan ang marka ng mga halik niya sa dibdib ko.
I bit my bottom lip. Gusto kong magalit sa sarili ko dahil hinayaan ko siya. Hindi
ko siya nagawang pigilan dahil ginusto ko rin ang ginawa niya. It had been so long
since he touched and held me. Hanggang ngayon ramdam ko pa rin ang mga hawak at
halik na iyon. He was callous and urgent, ibang-iba sa dati. I could never forget
the way he used to kiss and touch me.
I dipped my body into the tub and tried to relax my aching muscles. I was mad at
myself but I couldn't feel any regret for it. I'd missed him. I'd missed the
softness of his skin against me, the taste of his mouth, and how I lose myself in
his arms. The longing hadn't gone away. It never left. And being in his arms again
after so many years, it felt coming home.
Pero iba na ang buhay namin ngayon. Hindi na katulad ng dati. I knew it was my
fault. Iniwan ko siya at galit siya sa akin. I could feel his anger by the way he
looks at me, his eyes were filled with hatred for me. I was young, confused and
scared back then. Hindi ko na maibabalik ang mga desisyon na ginawa ko noon kahit
gustuhin ko.
After a few minutes of crying in the tub. I got up and put on a pair of pajamas.
Lumabas ako sa banyo at nakita ko si Therese sa ibabaw ng kama at mahimbing na
natutulog.
Kahit paano gumaan ang bigat sa dibdib ko ng makita ko siya. My daughter was what
gets me through everyday. Tumabi ako sa kanya sa kama at hinalikan siya sa noo. She
was the most precious gift ever given to me.
Ang tanging pinagsisisihan ko lang sa nangyari kanina ay nang makita niya si Wayne.
I was just thankful she was too young to understand what was going on. I pulled her
into a hug and closed my eyes.
Nagisinga ako nang tumama ang sikat ng araw sa mukha ko. I opened my eyes,
expecting to see Therese sleeping next to me pero wala siya sa tabi ko. Hindi naman
ako nag-alala dahil may kasambahay naman kaming kasama na nag-aalaga kay Therese. I
stretched out my arms before getting out of bed. Pumasok muna ako sa banyo at
inayos ang sarili ko bago lumabas ng kwarto.
I found Therese sitting on George's lap, still in her pajamas.
"Mommy's friend was really nice, papa. He read me Clifford and I fell asleep." I
heard Therese say. I suddenly tensed. I was sure she was talking about Wayne.
"Good morning." I forced a smile.
Nag-angat sila pareho ng tingin.
"Good morning." Sagot ni George.
Tumakbo si Therese sa akin at binuhat ko siya. She gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"Good morning, mommy."
"Wayne was here last night?" George asked.
"H-hinatid niya ako kagabi." I swallowed, putting moisture on my suddenly dry
throat. "Wala na kasi akong masakyan."
George nodded his head, convinced with my answer. "Kumusta namana ng pag-uusap
niyo?"
"It went good." Sagot ko. "Tatawag na lang daw siya kapag may kailangan pa kaming
pag-usapan. George, hindi mo naman kailangan ipangalan sa akin ang kontrata."
"I want you and Therese financial secured." He said.
"Makakahanap naman ako ng trabaho. You don't have to worry about us."
"You could still do that while running your business." He said and his brows
furrowed. "Why? Do you have a problem working with Mr. St Croix."
I shook my head and blinked. "W-wala naman."
"Good." He finally smiled.

Chapter Thirty Two

Tanya's POV
We celebrated our new house by having a barbecue in the backyard. Malawak ang
backyard at may isang puno ng mangga sa isang sulok nito. I instantly fell in love
with the place because of that. Ito talaga ang bahay na matagal ko nang pinangarap.
This had always been what we wanted.
I took in a deep breath. Naramdaman kong nanikip ang dibdib ko ng maisip ko iyon.
The hollowness in my chest ached. Ganitong bahay ang napipicture ko sa isip ko
noon. Kasabay kong pinangarap ang buhay na kasama siya dito. We made this dream
together but he wasn't here with me.
Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko. Si Wayne pa rin ang nakikita ko sa isip ko. I could
picture the life we could've had together. Simple at tahimik lang. Nakaupo siya sa
tabi ko dito sa patio habang pinanonood namin ang mga anak namin na nagtatakbuhan,
mga batang kamukhang-kamukha niya. That had always been my dream, he had always
been a part of it.
"Mommy!" Hinatak ako pabalik sa realidad nang marinig ko ang boses ni Therese.
Naglalaro sila ni George sa hindi kalayuan. She waved at me and I smiled, waving
back at her. My life now was different from what I'd always dreamt. Therese and
George were my reality. Hindi na parte ng realidad ko si Wayne, hanggang sa
pangarap ko na lang siya.
Magsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong wala akong pinagsisisihan sa mga desisyon
na ginawa ko. That wasn't the truth. I'd forever regret leaving Wayne. I'd forever
wonder what could've been with him. Pero siguro ito talaga ang kapalaran ko. That
had to happen because of Therese. She was the most beautiful gift God had given me.
Kahit marami akong pagsisisi wala akong babaguhin sa nakaraan ko if it meant
nothing having her here with me now.
I'd always love Wayne but maybe we just weren't meant to be.
Tumunog ang doorbell. Ibinaba ko sa la mesita sa tabi ko ang hawak kong juice. I
got up and went into the house to open the front door. Nagulat ako ng tumambad sa
harap ko si Wayne.
"Hey." He greeted with a wry smile on his face.
Biglang nanuyo ang lalamunan ko at napalunok ako ng makita ko siya. A flash of what
had happened between us a week ago came back to my mind. I could still remember the
feeling of his warm body pressed against mine, I could still taste his lips, I
could still hear his moans and groans in my ear. I still remember how sore he made
me the morning after.
Shit. Napamura ako sa isip ko. Hindi ko alam kung paano kikilos sa harap niya o
kung ano ang dapat kong sabihin. I wasn't prepared for this.
"A-ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?" Iyon ang lumabas sa bibig ko.
"George invited me over." He answered. Tinitigan niya ako sa mga mata ko. There was
a mischevious glint of something in his eyes. I felt uncomfortable and looked away.
"Ganon ba?" Sabi ko. Hindi man lang nabanggit sa akin ni George ito.
"Aren't you going to let me in?" He chuckled.
Parang napahiya naman na tumabi ako. I opened the door wider and motioned for him
to come in. He took a step in and closer to me. I could smell his cologne mixed
with his natural scent. Agad akong napaurong palayo sa kanya. The tension between
us was palpable and I felt nervous around him.
"Where's George... and Therese?" He asked, looking around the house.
"N-nasa backyard sila." Sabi ko at tumalikod ako. Alam kong nakasunod lang siya sa
likod ko, ilang hakbang lang ang layo mula sa akin. I felt all tensed up, like
there was a knot in my stomach. Right behind me was the man I'd made love with a
week ago. Muntikan pa kaming mahuli ni Therese. Buti na lang hindi iyon nabanggit
ng bata kay George. Sana lang nawala na sa isip niya iyon at hindi niya na
mabanggit pa iyon.
Lumabas kami sa backyard. Nahinto ang dalawa sa paglalaro nang makita si Wayne.
"Mr. Wayne." Therese came running towards him. Sinalo siya ni Wayne at kinarga.
"Hi, munchkin." He said, smiling at her. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, thank you." She brightly answered.
Nakangiting lumapit sa kinatatayuan nila si George.
"Papa, this is Mr. Wayne. Mommy's friend." Pakilala ni Therese.
"Why, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Wayne." George said, playing along with her.
"Am I late?" Wayne asked.
"You just came on time. We're having backyard barbecue. I appreciate you coming
here to join us." Binigyan siya nang malapad na ngiti ni George. "We're still
adjusting to our life here. Ikaw pa lang ang kaibigan namin. I'll be going back to
Belgium soon and Tanya and Therese need a friend to keep them company."
Wayne looked at me, a playful smile playing on his lips. "Don't worry. I'll take
care of them while you're gone."
I swallowed. My breath caught in my throat and my heart skipped a beat.
"Mommy bought me a new Clifford book. Can you read it to me later?" Inosenteng
tanong ni Therese. Thankfully, that broke the tension in the air.
"Sure, munchkin." Wayne answered. Sandali silang nag-usap ni Therese. I could see
how easily Therese grew fond of him. Hindi naman kasi ganun kahirap makasundo ang
anak ko. She was a bubbly girl that never runs out of things to talk about.
The food we barbecued had already been set on the table. Dinala siya ni George doon
at umupo kami sa mesa. They chatted and started talking about business. Habang
inaasikaso ko naman si Therese at pinakakain.
I felt a foot touch mine from underneath the table. I bit back a gasp when it
slowly rubbed up my ankle. I pulled my foot away and looked at Wayne who was
sitting across from me. He looked at me and gave me a subtle smile as he was talked
with George. I quietly glared at him.
Maya-maya ay naramdaman ko na naman ang paa niya. This time it pressed near my
knee, his toe erotically rubbing against my skin. Sa pagkagulat ay napatayo ako sa
kinauupuan ko. George turned his attention to me.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Nag-aalalang tanong niya.
"N-nothing." Sagot ko. "Tapos na akong kumain. I'm going to go inside. Marami pang
hugasin sa loob. Excuse me."
I took my empty plate and Therese's and went into the kitchen. I felt relieved. The
tension I felt in my muscle eased once I got away from Wayne. Parang nanghihinang
napatukod ako sa harap ng counter sa loob ng kusina. Sa harap nang counter ay may
bintana kung saan tanaw mo ang backyard. Tumingin ako doon at nakitang wala nang
nakaupo sa mesa. George and Therese were playing with a kite. Kahit maaraw sa labas
ay mahangin pa rin kaya nga kanina pa nag-eenjoy sa paglalaro ang dalawa. Despite
his age, George was still fit and agile.
Hinagilap ng mga mata ko si Wayne pero hindi ko siya makita.

"Do you need help?" Nagulat ako nang marinig ang malalim na boses mula sa likod ko.
"Wayne!" Agad akong napaharap sa kanya. "Ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?"
"i'm just checking to see if you need any help." He said with a sly smile.
"Kaya ko na 'to." Tumalikod ako mula sa kanya.
"Are you sure?" Humakbang siya palapit sa akin. He was so close to me, I could
almost feel the warmth of his body on my back. Nang subukan kong umalis sa counter
ay mabilis niyang idinantay ang kamay niya sa magkabilang side ko. I was trapped in
between his arms. "Iniiwasan mo ba ako?"
"Wayne, ano ba..." Mahinang sabi ko at sinubukan kong itulak ang kamay niya.
"Why, Tanya?" May bakas ng galit at hinanakit sa boses niya. "Why are you fucking
doing this to me? Why this house? Dapat sa atin ito..."
Mariin akong napapikit sa sinabi niya. Para akong nanghina. I bit my bottom lip to
prevent myself from crying.
His warm lips brushed against my neck.
"WAYNE!" I flinched away from me. "Ano'ng ginagawa mo?"
"Show me how sorry you are." He whispered in my ear before biting my lobe.
My eyes widened when he sucked on it. Nasa harap lang kami ng bintana at malingon
lang si George at Therese dito ay makikita na nila kami. Gumapang ang isang kamay
niya sa side ko pababa sa hita ko. Sinubukan ko siyang awatin pero walang epekto
iyon sa kanya.
His slid his hand underneath my skirt habang ang isa namay ay pumasok sa pang-itaas
ko. He cupped a feel of my breast before pulling my bra's cup down. I tried not to
squirm as his fingers flicked my nipple. Kumawala ang impit na ungol sa lalamunan
ko ng maramdaman ko ang init ng palad niya sa ibabaw ng pagkababae ko.
"W-wayne, please, tama na... baka makita tayo..." Nagsimulang kumabog ang dibdib ko
ng makita si George na nakatayo sa harap ng bintana. We were just an eye shot away
from him. Abala siya sa pakikipaglaro kay Therese.
"Doesn't he know the real you?" His lips lightly brused on my shoulder and his
fingers slid inside my panties. I shuddered and it made him snicker. "The poor guy
has no idea what we've been doing."
"Please, stop." I half heartedly protested. I could feel the heat pooling in my
stomach and it took efforts to speak.
"Don't worry, I won't tell. It'll be our dirty little secret." Paos ang tinig na
sabi niya.
I tried to push him away but he only held me tighter. He began to rub my clit and
knead my nipple. I could feel his erection against my bottom. Goosebumps erupted
all over my body. Napakapit ako ng mahigpit sa counter top. I wanted to stop him
but the sensation overwhelmed me. He rubbed harder and faster until I was writhing
against the palm of his hand. I could no longer think straight as he massaged me,
my orgasm building quickly with every move of his fingers. I closed my eyes and
whimpered his name as climax took over my body. I was shaking and breathing heavily
when he grabbed my jaw and made me face him.
He crashed his lips against mine and I instantly pushed him away. He gently bit my
bottom lip and released it. Namumungay ang mga matang tinitigan niya ako.
"Now you pleasure me." His voice was husky.
Hinawakan niya ang balikat ko. He pushed me down to my knees in front of him. He
then unzipped his pants and took his manhood out. My eyes grew, his hardness was
just right in front of my face. Napalunok ako at tumingala sa kanya.
"You know what to do with that. Take me in your mouth and make me come, angel." He
wore a smirk on his face but his voice was gentle.
Angel. It still sounded so good to hear.
I did as he told me to do. I wrapped my hand around the base of his length and
opened my mouth. I slowly took him in. It had been so long but I still remember. I
bobbed my head while I sucked the tip of it. He groaned. I knew from the expression
of his face, he was more than pleased. He tangled his fingers in my hair as he
began to thrust into my mouth. In and out. Slowly and gently. I swirled my tongue
around him and heard a deep rumble coming from his throat.
"Tanya, I'm going to come." He groaned.
He thrust his hips one more time and felt hot, thick liquid filling my mouth. I
could still feel him throbbing inside me before I pulled away. I swallowed his
essence, feeling the warmness of it down my throat.
I heard footsteps on the wooden patio. Agad akong napatayo. Papasok na sila sa
bahay. Wayne tucked his manhood inside his pants and I hurriedly fixed myself up.
Narinig kong bumukas ang pinto mula sa backyard papunta sa kitchen. Tumatakbong
pumasok si Therese at nasa likod niya si George.
"Mommy, you should've seen my kite!" Therese excitedly said. "It flew higher than
that tree!"
"Really?" I tried so hard to stop my voice from shaking. Ramdam ko ang titig sa
akin ni Wayne kahit hindi ako nakaharap sa kanya. Before Therese could take another
step towards me, I excused myself to the bathroom. I was afraid they'd smell Wayne
on me.
Pumasok ako sa banyo at naghilamos. Napailing na lang ako sa sarili ko habang
nakatitig sa salamin. Ilang beses ko na hinayaang may mangyari sa amin. Alam niya
kung saan ako hahawakan, alam niya kung saan ako mahina. And it was as if my body
already memorized how to respond to him. I couldn't stop him even if I wanted.
Inayos ko ang sarili ko bago lumabas ng banyo.
"I have to go now." Narinig kong sabi ni Wayne habang magkausap sila ni George.
"You're leaving already?" Therese said in a disappointed tone. "But you said you'd
read another book to me."
"Maybe some other time, darling." Sabi ni George. "Mr. Wayne is a very busy man."
"Don't worry. I promise I'd visit you again and read you a story." Nakangiting sabi
ni Wayne.
Nagtama ang mga mata naman ni Wayne. My cheeks heat up when he smiled at me.
Nagbaba agad ako ng tingin.
"Thank you, George, for inviting me over." Narinig ko ang boses ni Wayne. "I really
had a nice time. And Tanya,"
I forced myself to look at him. A devilish smile played on his lips.
"I'm so excited to work with you. It was a pleasure talking to you earlier."
Binigyan niya ng diin ang salitang 'pleasure'. "I know it would be an even more
pleasure to work with you." Makahulugan na sabi niya.
Tango lang ang naisagot ko.
___
Hello guys, sorry for making you wait so long for an update. Nagbakasyon muna ako
dahil summer naman. Salamat sa pagtitiyaga niyong maghintay. <3

Chapter Thirty Three

Wayne's POV
I was sitting behind my desk and George and Tanya were sitting on the other side of
it. George was reading the finalized contract and Tanya was trying her best to look
to my direction. She didn't take a single glance on me since walking into my
office. I could see how tensed she was as I watched her. I enjoyed the rised and
fall of her chest and the way her fingers fluttered in her lap.
Ignorance is indeed a bliss. Right next to her was her clueless lover. He had no
clue what we were before and what we just did a week ago in their house. God, help
us when he finds out about our past, present, and future?
I was staring at the adult version of the girl I loved wondering why I wasn't the
one who was beside her. I was just a part of her past now. She'd already created a
life with someone else without me in it. And that fucking hurts. I waited for her
to come back. I really did. I didn't know when but it got to the point where I
stopped caring about whether or not she was going to come back because I knew I
would always be here waiting for her.
I thought I had moved on. I thought I was over her. The moment I saw her again for
the first time after so many years, it felt as if no time had passed. It was as if
someone had pressed paused for multiple years and resumed again. I was still stuck
in our memories and everything tasted like those late night conversations about our
hopes and dreams. The sweet innocent Tanya, she still exist somewhere deep inside
me. I'd still never been able to bleed her all the way out. Maybe we got what we
got and it was unfair to hold on to it but I couldn't help it. She wasn't mine now.
It burns a little whenever I think of it. She had been mine before and I wanted to
keep it like that. I'd never been able to commit to a life where she and I doesn't
exist. She was the fall I never really recovered from, she took the biggest part of
my heart that I may not be able to get back.
"Everything looks good." George nodded his head as he looked at the contract. He
looked at Tanya. "Go ahead, darling. Sign the contract."
He handed the documents to her. She lifted her eyes up, our gaze locked for an
instant and in that moment there was only her and I. One corner of my lips lifted
into a menacing smile. She held her head high as if her regal beauty was on
display, as if telling me she was not affected. She had this air of confidence
about her that shone through her soft exterior. Both proud and delicate, strong nad
subtle.
She took a pen and I watched as she signed the contract. And that sealed
everything.
"We're finally business partners. I look forward to working with you." I told her.
"Likewise." She answered in a flat tone.
"I'm going back to Belgium this weekend.I hope you can help familiarize her with
the business."
"Of course." I clasped my hands together and I turned my attention to her. "I'll
teach her whatever she needs to know."
"Very well." George said. "You're more than just a business partner to us now,
Wayne. We welcome you to our family with open arms."
"Thank you, George." I smiled at him, feeling a slight twinge of guilt. George
looked like a good, old man. He had no clue I was fucking his mistress behind his
back.
"I want to know your plans for our business."
"Actually, nagreresearch pa lang kami ng magandang location na pwede namin
pagtayuan." I answered.
"Well, why don't you take Tanya to see the locations?" George suggested.
She stiffened. "No, it's okay. I don't need to see the locations. Mas may alam si
Mr. St. Croix sa mga bagay na iyan. He's be in this business for a long time, I'll
go with his decisions."
"Mr. St. Croix? What's with the formality, Tanya. Have you forgotten how to say my
name?" I chuckled, silently. Mr. St. Croix, my ass. Just a week ago, she was
moaning my name and my cock was in her mouth.
She swallowed. "Since we're now business partners, hindi ba mas maganda kung maging
professional tayo."
"We can be professional without the formality. We can mix business with...
friendship." I smirked.
"Right." George nodded. "It helps a lot if you two become good friends. He can help
you familiarize with the business environment, isn't that right, Wayne?"
"Sure, no problem." I said, not taking my gaze off her. "I hope we become best of
buddies, Tanya."

Tanya's POV
"Papa, I'm going to miss you." Humihikbing sabi ni Therese habang nakayakap siya
kay George at buhat-buhat siya nito.
"I'm going to miss you too, sweetheart. You and your Mommy." He gently whispered to
the child while stroking her long, brown hair. "I'll be back."
"How many days do I have to count 'til you come back?" She asked.
"Ninety days."
"That's a lot of days." She pouted, swallowing back a sob.
"That's not a lot, I'll be back before you know it so don't cry." He gently
explained, wiping her tears away. "Nandito naman si Mommy."
"But I'm still going to miss you." She said.
"Me, too, sweety." He kissed her forehead.
"Why do you always have to leave? Why can't you stay with us?" Lumabi siya.
George let out a deep exhale. "I'm sorry, honey. I can't stay here, my work is in
Belgium."
He comforted Therese until she calmed down. I asked her yaya to bring her to her
room. She would cry even more if she sees George leaving. His luggage was already
ready and the driver outside was waiting for him to take him to the airport.
"I feel bad." He sighed.
"Ako na ang bahala kay Therese." I smiled.
"She's growing up too fast. Dapat nasa tabi niya ako habang lumalaki siya."
Malungkot na sabi ni George.
"We understand, George."
"I should've been by your side, Tanya." Puno ng lungkot ang mga mata niya habang
nakatingin sa akin. "You came into my life and then there's Therese... the both of
you gave my life a meaning. You know Eleanor and I never had a child. Ngayon ko
lang naranasan ang maging ama and I don't think I'm doing a good job. I don't want
Therese to miss out on having a father in her life."
"You may not be here with us all the time but you're here when we need you.
Matalinong bata si Therese, maiintindihan din niya ito."
"Thank you for understanding, sweetheart." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled
me into a hug.
I caressed his back. "Take good care of yourself, okay? Don't forget to take your
meds."
"Of course." He chuckled and then pulled away. He gave me a kiss on the forehead.
"I love you, sweetheart."
"I love you, too." I said.
I walked him to the car and hugged him again. Pinanood kong umalis ang kotse bago
ako pumasok sa loob ng bahay. I went to Therese's room to check up on her.
Nakatulog na siya sa kaiiyak. Hinaplos ko ang buhok niya, I kissed her good night.
I checked my phone before going to bed and saw a message from Wayne. Binuksan ko
iyon at binasa.
Let's meet tomorrow.
I bit my lower lip as I stared at the screen. I'd been trying to get him out of my
mind for the past few days but I could never get away from the memories of him.
Kahit saan sulok ako tumingin sa bahay na ito si Wayne ang nakikita ko. I remember
all the plans we had, all our dreams, and all our goals. Alam kong ako ang sumira
sa mga pangarap namin na iyon. I bought this house because this was the closest I'd
ever get to making all those dreams come true. They were just a distant memory now,
like a memory from another life.

Pagkabukas ko pa lang ng pinto palabas sa kwarto ay narinig ko na ang tawa ni

Therese. It was coming from the living room. I suddenly froze when the laughter was
followed by a familiar voice of a man.
"But I haven't seen your dog." I heard him say.
"It's an invisible dog." Narinig kong sabi ni Therese. I took in a deep breath
before slowly walking to the living room. Nakaupo sila sa sahig habang while
Therese was drawing on a paper on top of the coffee table.
"Is he big and red?" Wayne asked.
"Mmhmm." Therese nodded her head.
I felt heaviness in my chest as I watched them. I couldn't help but think of the
life we could've had together. I would never get that time back and things will
never be the way they used to be. The house happened but us having five kids, us
growing old together never will. I felt his void in every aspect of my life.
"Is his name Clifford?" He cocked a brow.
"Yes!" Therese giggled.
Biglang nag-angat ng tingin si Wayne at nagtama ang mga mata namin.
"Hey, good morning." He said.
"Ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?" Tanong ko sa kanya.
"You didn't reply to my message last night."
"Hindi ko nabasa." I lied.
"I know you read my message." He said in an accusing tone. "We're business partners
now. We have to work together whether you like it or not."
"Fine." I tried to keep my cool in front of him.
"Aalis tayo ngayon. We're going to check out a place." He said.
"I'm taking Therese with me." Sabi ko. I was afraid of being alone with him. Ayaw
ko na mangyari ang mga nakaraang nangyari sa amin. I knew I wouldn't be able to
stop him sa kung anuman ang gusto niyang mangyari.

I sat on the passenger's seat next to him while Therese sat on the backseat. Hindi
niya sinabi sa akin kung saan kami pupunta. Therese and Wayne were getting along
really well. Even though, Therese talks alot, he was very patient with her. Halos
sila lang dalawa ang nag-uusap habang nasa biyahe.
"Mr. Wayne." Therese popped her head on the space in between our seats.
"Yeah?" Tanong ni Wayne habang nakatingin sa kalsada.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" She innocently asked.
"Therese!" Saway ko sa kanya. "It's not right to ask people that question."
"No, I don't have a girlfriend." Natatawang sagot ni Wayne.
"Mommy can be your girlfriend. She doesn't have a boyfriend."
"Therese, stop it!" I turned my head to her. Pinandilatan ko siya at naramdaman
kong nag-init ang magkabilang pisngi ko nang mapuno ang kotse ng halakhak ni Wayne.
"Saan mo ba natututunan yan?"
"From yaya! She tells me about her boyfriend. She told me they go out on dates and
stuff." She shrugged her shoulders. "I think you need someone to go out on dates
with. Mr. Wayne doesn't have a girlfriend."
"I am going to talk to your yaya when we get home." I frowned.

"Yaya has a boyfriend and she's happy when her boyfriend texts her. I just want you
to be happy." She said.
My face softened at what she said. "Oh, Therese... that's not how it works."
"Then how does it work?" Her cute brows furrowed.
"When you love someone with all your heart and he feels the same way for you then
he becomes your boyfriend. You don't get into a relationship with a man because of
his looks... or his money." Wayne threw a sideway glance at me.
"Oh...Have you had a girlfriend, Mr. Wayne."
"Therese, I brought some chips. Kumain ka na lang." I said, getting out of my bag.
I felt the heavy atmosphere between Wayne and I.
"Yes, I've had a girlfriend." He answered.
"Then where is she now?" Therese asked
"She left me..." He non-chalantly said. I felt a lump forming in my throat when he
said that. I knew he was talking about me.
"Why?" Muling tanong niya.
"I don't know. I never got the chance to ask her." Wayne glanced at me and I
avoided his gaze. I felt an ache in my chest. It was my fault. I knew I was the one
who ruined everything between us.
Thank God, naiba ang topic ng dalawa. Huminto ang kotse sa harap ng saradong
restaurant. We stepped out of the car. Hawak-hawak ko ang kamay ni Therese at hawak
naman ni Therese sa isang kamay niya si Wayne.
"Hi, I'm Sandra, I'm the real estate agent you contacted." Sumalubong ang isang
babae sa amin. Inilahad niya ang kamay niya kay Wayne. "You must be, Mr. St.
Croix."
"Wayne." He said, taking it and shaking her hand. "And this is Tanya."
"Hi, Tanya, nice to meet you." She said.
I gave her a smile.
"Hello!" Therese said, being the usual friendly girl she was.
"Hi, you're so cute." Sabi nito bago muling ibinalik ang atensyon kay Wayne. "She
must be your daughter. What a wonderful family.
He didn't correct the lady. Ngiti lang ang isinagot ni Wayne. A part of me wanted
to correct her and the other part didn't. Maybe we could play make-believe... even
for just a day. Pwede kong isipin na isang pamilya kami. That our dreams of having
a happy family came true. Nakaramdam ako nang pagsisisi at panghihinayang habang
nakatingin kay Therese at Wayne. I was looking at my past and my present.
She asked us to follow her and showed us around the place. We were in a closed down
restaurant in the heart of the city. It was nice and it had a lot of space. Nang
mapagod si Therese ay pinasan siya ni Wayne sa likod niya. Therese sat on his
shoulders habang naglalakad kami.
"I had a pet fish named Frosty because I got him on Christmas day but he died and
we flushed him in the toilet. And now I really want a puppy." Kwento ni Therese.
"And let me guess, you're going to name him Clifford." Wayne smiled.
"Yes! But Mommy said I can't have a puppy."
"Why can't she have a puppy?" Kunot ang noong tanong sa akin ni Wayne na para bang
seryosong-sersyoso ito.
"Yeah, why can't I have a puppy?" Therese pouted.
"Because you're too young to take care of it." I told her.
"I can take care of my puppy." Sabi ni Therese.
"Come on, the kid wants a puppy. Let her have it." Sabi naman ni Wayne.
I shook my head. "Hindi pwede. Ako din ang mag-aalaga nun."
"Please, mommy?" Therese gave me the puppy dog eyes and rested her chin on top of
Wayne's head.
"Please?" Sinabayan niya ito.
I bit my inner cheek to stop myself from smiling at how cute they looked. "I'll
think about it."
Kumain kami ng dinner sa labas bago kami umuwi. Gabi na ng makarating kami sa
bahay. Therese invited him at wala na akong nagawa. I didn't want to be rude and
tell him to go home. She asked him if he could read her a book before she goes to
bed and Wayne said yes.
"And he huffed and he puffed and he blew the little pigs house down." Nakahiga si
Wayne sa gilid ng kama ni Therese habang nagbabasa ng libro. I just stood by her
door and watched them together. Therese yawned and finally closed her eyes. It had
been a long day at talagang napagod ang bata.
Ngayon ko lang nakita kung gaano kasabik si Therese sa isang ama. George had been
good to us, I knew he was trying his best but Therese needed a concrete father
figure in her life. She needed someone who would stay, someone who's always
present. Alam kong ginagawa naman ni George ang lahat sa abot ng makakaya niya but
weekend visitations weren't enough. At isa pa, may edad na si George. He doesn't
have the stamina and strength that Wayne has and Therese was a little ball of
energy. He couldn't play with Therese the whole even if he wanted.
I felt bad for her. I didn't want her to go through the same things I did. Ayaw
kong maranasan niyang mainggit sa mga kaklase niya dahil may ama sila at siya wala.
I didn't want her to experience having to make father's day cards in school and
throwing it away because I didn't have a father. Don't get me wrong, I had a
wonderful childhood. Binusog ako sa pagmamahal ni Nanay, pinuno niya ang kawalan ni
Tatay pero iba pa rin kapag may ama ka.
Therese saw a father in Wayne. I felt a twinge of pain in my chest. He could've
been a great father. We could've had a beautiful family. There was a lot of
could've, would've, should've playing in my mind. We could've had the family we
dreamt of. I could picture it in my head and it breaks my heart because it's not
reality. It's another life. It's what could've been.
Wayne closed his eyes. I didn't know if he was just resting his eyes or he fell
asleep. Lumapit ako sa kama at kinumutan si Therese at pati na rin siya. I sighed
and felt a new wave of pain as I stared at him. His face was soft and relaxed.
I still remember everything. I remember staring at him until I fall asleep. I
remember how it felt to have our feet touch while we drifted off. I remember waking
up to him pulling me into his arms half asleep. I still remember the taste our kiss
created.
You know what they say that some relationships were only meant to teach us a
lesson? Maybe we're one of those.
___
Hello guys,
Sorry dahil pinaghintay ko na naman kayo ng matagal. I hope you still remember
Wayne and Tanya's story lol. I'm not going to promise anything but I'll try my best
to update as often as I can. Sorry talaga sobrang busy lang ngayon. Enjoy!

Chapter Thirty Four

Wayne's POV
I blinked my eyes open to see a little girl sleeping next to me and right next to
the girl was Tanya. Her arm was wrapped around Therese's body as she slept. It was
already morning. The sun was shining through the windows and falling in golden rays
inside Therese's room.
How many times had I dreamt of waking up next to her and our children? I felt a
sting in my chest as reality slowly sunk in. She could've been mine but Therese
wasn't my child. She was the child of the woman I loved and her lover. Maraming
taon na ang nakaraan, Tanya had always been at the back of my mind. That was where
I buried her and our memories. Not I felt as if it was burning like wildfire
through my mind. I'd been trying to fight it but it just kept spreading. I'd
fantasized about seeing her one day, everything would be forgiven, everything would
be forgotten. I'd take her again and we'd have the family we had always wanted. But
it was too late. She built a family with someone else.
I knew I was torturing myself. I could've easily refuse George's offer but I gave
in to my need for her. I still couldn't accept a life without her. I could no more
give her up than I could give up breathing. I needed her if it's only for a moment
now and then. A glimpse of heaven is better than a life in hell which is exactly
what it was without her.
"Good morning, Mr. Wayne." Therese's little voice pulled me from my thoughts. I
looked down and she was staring at me with a sweet smile on her face.
"Hey." I smiled. "Good morning."
"Did you sleep in my bed too? We had a sleepover?"
"I guess so, yeah." Sabi ko.
Therese sat up, her motion woke Tanya up. Our gaze met but she immediately looked
away.
"Good morning, Mommy." Therese said and kissed her mother's cheek. Then she turned
to me and pressed her lips on my cheek too. "I forgot to say give you a morning
kiss." She giggled.
"That's alright." I smiled. Her sweetness made my heart melt.
"Good morning, sweetheart." Tanya sat up and kissed him on the forehead.
"We had a sleepover, Mommy! Can we do it again? Can Mr. Wayne sleep here with us
again?"
Tanya just smiled at her. She sat up and kissed her daughter on the forehead.
"Gutom ka na ba? What do you want for breakfast?"
"I want some french toast!"
"Okay, I'll go make you your french toast." She affectionately pinched her little
nose. And then her eyes landed on me. "Ikaw? Anong gusto mong kainin?"
"What you usually cook." I answered. She quietly nodded her head and then she got
up from bed. She headed to the bathroom and got out of it after a few minutes,
looking fresh. Tanya took Therese with her out of the room and I was left there
alone. I went to the bathroom and freshened up.
The delicious smell of food filled my nostrill when I opened the door. I followed
scent and it lead me to the kitchen. Tanya was in front of the stove and Therese
was sitting on the dining table, eating her french toast. The warmth of the morning
felt as if it was mocking me, reminding me of all our dreams and plans that never
came true.
Tanya turned her head and saw me. "Umupo ka muna. Malapit ng matapos itong niluluto
ko."
I did as she told me and sat next to Therese. After a minute or so, she put a plate
of fried rice with egg and corned beef in front of me. She sat down with us. Tanya
was wearing a blue cotton nighties. Very unsuccessfully, I tried not to ogle as she
leaned in, I tried to ignore how the nighties she was wearing exposed a hint of
sweel of her breasts. I tried to pretend it didn't remind me of the perfection of
her body and how it had felt against me.
"Mr. Wayne do you have a family?" Therese asked as we ate.
"Therese, eat your breakfast." Tanya said in a scolding voice.
I took me awhile to answer but I did. "No, I don't."
"Can you be my daddy?" She asked.
"Therese! Ano ba yang pinagsasabi mo? You don't ask people to be your daddy!"
Pinandilatan niya ang bata.
"But mommy, my teacher told me we have to bring our mommies and daddies next week
for family day. I don't want to go without a daddy." She pouted.
Tanya's face softened as she looked at her daughter. She brushed her fingers
through her hair. "You have me? Ayaw mo bang tayong dalawa lang?"
"All my classmates' daddies are all going to be there." Her eyes twinkled with
sadness.
"We'll explain to your teacher. Don't worry about it, okay?" She tucked some loose
hair behind the little girl's ear.
"You don't have to worry about it because I'm going. I'll be your daddy for family
day." I said.
"Really?" Her face glowed with happiness. Seeing her this happy made me happy as
well. She had this charming and sweet innocence about her.
"Really." I nodded my head.
She jumped out of her seat and hugged me. "Thanks, Mr. Wayne. You're the best."
"You're welcome, sweety." I smiled.
"Can I call you Daddy on family day?"
"Therese!" Tanya frowned, her cheeks flushing. "You can't call him daddy. You're
pushing it too far. Ikaw talagang bata ka. Nakakahiya na kay Wayne."
"If he's going to be my daddy for family day then I can't call him Mr. Wayne in
front of my teachers and classmates." She reasoned.
"It's alright." I told Tanya, giving a sharp look. This was the the life she had
robbed me of. We could've had five kids by now. Things could've been different.
When she left there was nothing but emptiness, loneliness. I was alone and lost.
She was the only thing that made sense in my life. Therese wasn't my child, she was
Tanya's but she was the closest thing that I would ever be to the life we'd dreamt
of. "You can call me Dad, Therese."
"Really?" Her eyes were lamps turned on as she looked at me. She got to her feet
and started jumping up and down. "Yay! Now I have a Daddy!"
"Don't you already have a Daddy?" I asked.
"You mean Papa George? He's not my Daddy, he's my Papa." She beamed.
"Therese, tapusin mo na yang kinakain mo. It's not good to keep the food waiting."
Tanya sighed as if she was annoyed.
Therese being her usual bubbly self, talked on and on as we ate. I said goodbye to
her after finishing our breakfast and Tanya stood walk me to the door.
"Hindi mo naman kailangan gawin iyon, Wayne." She suddenly said as we walked out of
the dining room, out of Therese's sight.
"What?" I asked.
"Hindi mo naman kailangan pumunta sa family day sa school ni Therese. Ako na lang
ang magpapaliwanag sa kanya."
"You're going to disappoint the kid?" My lips lifted in a contemptuous smirk.
"Hindi niya kasalanan na wala siyang madadalang ama para sa father's day. Hindi ka
ba naaawa sa bata, Tanya? Hindi mo siya kayang bigyan ng buong pamilya."
She swallowed, her eyes remained on me but she never said a word. I knew she
wouldn't be saying any and so I walked away. I walked away from the life that
should've been mine.
Tanya's POV
Family day ngayon sa school ni Therese. We were already in her school with Wayne.
She introduced Wayne to her teachers and her classmates as her father. Ilang araw
niyang pinaghandaan itong family day. She had been so anxious and excited since
yesterday.
"This is my Daddy Wayne." She said to her teachers, showing him off. Wayne had been
nothing but patient and kind to her. Para silang totoong mag-ama. It made me smile
seeing her happy but I also felt a pinch in my heart. Wayne was right when he told
me that I couldn't give her a complete family. Mula ng dumating siya sa buhay ko,
kami lang talagang dalawa ang magkasama. George occassionally visit us but it was
mostly just her and I.
Ibinuhos ko ang lahat ng pagmamahal ko kay Therese. Ibinigay ko sa kanya ang lahat
ng kaya kong ibigay. She was all I had and she was enough for me. Pero iba ang
nararamdaman ni Therese. Kahit hindi niya sabihin alam kong nararamdaman niyang may
kulang sa buhay niya. I could feel her longing for a normal family.
"And this is my Mommy." She held my hand with her free hand while on the other hand
she was holding Wayne's.
"What a gorgeous family." Sabi ng teacher niya habang nakatingin sa amin. We went
and join the other families after Therese introduced us to her teachers.
Natutuwa akong makitang masaya ang anak ko dahil kumpleto ang 'pamilya' namin.
Kahit ngayon araw may naiharap siyang buong pamilya sa mga tao sa paligid niya. It
was pretend but it felt good. In front of other people, we were a family. It was
like taking a peak through the life Wayne and I envisioned together when we were
younger.
Nagparticipate si Wayne sa sack race ng mga tatay ng mga bata. He won the race at
tuwang-tuwa si Therese lalo na ng makakuha sila ng price. Nag third place kami sa
tug-of-war which was not so bad. Wayne and Therese joined the three legged race and
won second place. Ang sumunod at huling game ay ang apple eating contest. Ang mga
magulang ng mga bata ang kailangan maglaro which meant Wayne and I. Ayaw kong
sumali pero pinilit ako ni Therese.
There was an apple hanging from the string between me and Wayne and we had to
finish it without using our hands. Kailangan namin maubos ang mansanas na iyon.
Wayne and I tried to catch the apple swinging in the air and we munched on it. Nang
paubos na ang mansanas at sinubukan kong hulihin iyon, Wayne was doing the same
thing as I was and our lips suddenly touched. We kissed... while Therese was
watching. I felt his lips curving upward against mine. My whole body tensed and I
pulled away. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.
This wasn't the first time we kissed but not in front of my daughter. For God's
sake! One of the couples finished the apple and won the game. I was relieved when
it ended.
"I saw you and Mommy kiss!" Therese giggled ng bumalik kami sa pwesto niya. My
cheeks turned red in embarrassment. Wayne smiled at my daughter and affectionately
ruffled her hair.
Gabi na ng matapos ang family day. Sumakay kami sa kotse ni Wayne para ihatid na
kami sa bahay. I sat next to him on the passenger's seat and Therese sat at the
back.
"Mommy and Mr. Wayne kissing on a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" She sang, moving her head
right and left.
"Therese, stop it." Marahang saway ko sa kanya at napuno ng halakhak ni Wayne ang
buong kotse.
"Did you have fun, munchkin?" Tanong niya sa bata.
"I had tons of fun!" Sagot ng bata. "Mr. Wayne?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I call you Daddy even if it's not family day?"
"Therese, ano ka ba? Hindi na tama yan, ah! Sumusobra ka na." I turned my head at
pinandilatan ko siya ng mata.
"Of course, you can." Sabi naman ni Wayne na ikinagulat ko.
"Wayne!" I exhaled in a tight voice. He gave me a sideway glance and shrugged.
Huminto ang kotse niya sa driveway ng bahay. Tulog na tulog na si Therese sa likod
ng kotse. I got out of the car and carried her but Wayne took her from me. I tried
to take my daughter back but he wouldn't let me. Naglakad siya papunta sa pinto ng
bahay.
"You don't have to do all these." Sabi ko sa kanya habang nakasunod sa likod niya.
"Tama na yung sumama ka sa amin sa family day. Sobra na yata kung hahayaan mo ang
anak ko na tawagin kang Daddy."
"I'm doing this to make the kid happy. Hindi ko ito ginagawa para sa'yo." He coldly
said.
I unlocked the door and pushed it open. "Ayaw ko lang maguluhan ang bata. She
already has a father."
"Then where is he now? With his real family?" He snided. I stared at him for a
moment, not knowing exactly what to say. "Alam ba niyang pamilya kayo ni George sa
labas?"
"Please, Wayne, I don't want to talk about that. Baka marinig ka ni Therese." Pag-
iiwas ko.
He gave me a distasteful glance before stepping inside the house. Dinala niya si
Therese sa kwarto nito at hiniga doon. Nagulat ako ng dumiretso siya sa kwarto ko
at sinundan ko siya doon.
"What are you do-" I paused when I saw him undressing down to his boxers. Tumambad
sa akin ang matipunong katawan niya. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. "Bakit naghuhubad ka?"
"I feel sweaty and sticky. Maliligo lang ako." He said before taking off the last
of his cloth and going into the bathroom in my room. I didn't know why but I stayed
in that room while he took a shower. Dinampot ko ang mga hinubad na damit niya at
tiniklop iyon ng maayos.
Something in his pants vibrated and lit. Out of curiosity, I reached into his
pocket and a message popped out of his screen.
Amanda:
I miss you, Love. I still can't forget the night I spent with you. When are we
going to see each other again?
My fingers clenched around his phone. Huminga ako ng malalim nang maramdaman ko ang
namumuong init sa dibdib ko.
Biglang bumukas ang pinto ng banyo ko at lumabas si Wayne na walang suot kung hindi
ang tuwalyang nakapulupot sa baywang niya.
"Mabuti ka pa umuwi ka na. Miss ka na daw ni Amanda!" I sarcastically said.
Bumaba ang tingin niya sa kamay kong hawak ang phone niya. His brow cocked and a
smile formed on his lips. "Have you been going through my phone?"
Agad kong ibinaba iyon sa bedside table. "Hindi ah! Inaayos ko lang naman yung mga
damit tapos nagpop yung message ng girlfriend mo."
"Wala akong girlfriend." Her smile grew wider.
"Talaga? Sabi pa nga niya 'she can't forget the night she spent with you'." I
rolled my eyes. "Mabuti pa puntahan mo na si Amanda. Siguro sabik na sabik na
siyang makita ka."
He chuckled. "Are you jealous?"
"I'm not jealous." Tanggi ko kahit totoo naman. I felt my cheek heat up and I
avoided his gaze. "Salamat sa pagsama sa amin ni Therese sa family day. But I think
you have to go. You don't want to keep Amanda waiting."
"She can wait all she wants. I'm going to sleep." He yawned. Tinanggal niya ang
tuwalyang nakatakip sa ibabang bahagi ng katawan niya. I swallowed and looked away,
embarrassed.
"Why are you acting all embarrassed? Last week lang nasa loob mo ito." He laughed
and slid into my bed.
"Bastos!" My cheeks were burning with humiliation. Nagulat ako ng bigla niyang
kunin ang kamay ko at hatakin ako. Dahilan para mahulog ako sa tabi niya.

"Wayne, ano ba?" I tried to get away from him as he wrapped his arm around my
waist.
"Shh... let's go to sleep. We're both tired." He yawned.
"No, umuwi ka na. Umuwi ka na dun sa Amanda mo!" Inis na sabi ko.
"I'm staying here." He pulled me closer to him, burying his face into my neck and
pressing his naked body against mine. Hindi na ako nanlaban. Hinayaan kong balutin
ako ng init ng katawan niya.
Wayne's POV
I kissed her on her close eyelids and she clung tighter to me. Her face bathed in
the moonlight as she slept in my arms. She had the most sensual, holy, and angelic
face that heaven and earth created. Her face was both innocent and feral, soft and
wild. Not much had changed. If anything, time had only enhanced her quiet beauty. I
could not look away. I wanted to memorize every inch of her, I wanted to notice
every change in her.
I felt that familiar feeling I could clearly remember from years ago when we were
still together. That insatiable feeling that flows through my body deep into the
pits of my soul. My soul connected to hers... and only to hers. I found a home
inside her that I had never found in anyone. My happiest breaths were inhaled while
I was interwined with her. I experienced with her the purest feeling a human being
could ever feel, love.
I let myself love every piece of her, every broken piece. I loved her selflessly.
Ibinuhos ko ang lahat ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Wala akong itinira sa sarili ko.
But why did she have to leave? She had no idea how much she had hurt me. I wanted
to refuse to be somewhere near her but something about the fact of seeing her drew
me closer to her.
She was already with another man and they had a daughter. Everytime I look at the
child, I feel a deep sense of longing for the life that could've been. The life
we'd envisioned together. Hindi man sa akin si Therese, handa akong tumayong ama
niya. Gusto kong ipagpatuloy ang nasimulan namin. I wanted to take back the life
she had robbed me of.

Chapter Thirty Five

Tanya's POV
"Daddy Wayne says he's going to build me a tree house. Right, Daddy Wayne?" Sabi ni
Therese habang kumakain kami. My eyes averted to where Wayne was sitting right
across from me and our gaze locked. She called him 'Daddy'. Ang sarap magkunwaring
isang buong pamilya kami. I wanted to pretend that our love story never ended, that
we had our happily ever after. But I knew I'd only be fooling myself if I play the
pretend game with him.
"Of course, munchkin." Sagot nito.
"Therese, you shouldn't call him Daddy." Saway ko sa kanya.
"Why not?" She pouted innocently and looked at Wayne. "I can call you Daddy Wayne,
right?"
"She can call me Daddy Wayne." He said with an impish smile on his face.
"See! Told you." Masayang sabi ni Therese.
I sighed and couldn't do anything else but look at the both of them. Nakikita ko
kung gaano napapalapit ang loob ng anak ko kay Wayne at natatakot ako. For so long
it was just me and my daughter, and now Wayne was suddenly in the picture... but
until when?
Pagkatapos namin kumain nagpaalam na si Wayne sa bata. I left Therese with her Yaya
para ihatid si Wayne papunta sa front door ng bahay. It was just me and him.
"Daddy Wayne? What's that all about." I confronted him as soon we got out of the
dining room.
"She asked me if she could call me Daddy Wayne and I said yes." He explained.
"Sana hindi ka pumayag. You're just going to confuse her. May Papa siya."
"I'm confusing her?" Wayne stopped and turned to face me. "You have the audacity to
tell me that?"
His eyes narrowed and filled with loathing as he looked at me. I wanted to shrink
away from his gaze. Ramdam ko ang pagtagos ng matatalim na titig niya hanggang sa
buto ko.
"Hindi ikaw ang ama niya." I said in a small voice.
"Then where is her father now?" He said in a quiet roar. Lalong naningkit ang mga
mata niya sa galit. What was the worst though was the pain I saw under the anger.
"Gusto mong ipagdamot ko sa bata ang pagtawag sa akin ng Daddy? Is that what you
want me to do, Tanya?"
"Wala kang naiintindihan sa mga nangyayari."
"Eh di ipaintindi mo sa akin." His voice was low yet harsh. "Itong buhay ba ang
gusto mo? You left me for this life?"
Hindi ako kumibo. He shook his head and angrily marched out the door. Padabog na
ibinagsak ni Wayne ang pinto paglabas niya. I sighed and closed my eyes, keeping
the tears at bay.
Nagkamali ako at kahit anong pagsisisi ko hindi ko na maibabalik ang nakaraan. I
wished he knew na kahit kailan hindi nawala ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Na hanggang
ngayon pinanghahawakan ko pa din sa puso ko ang mga pangarap namin na hindi
natupad.
A part of him would always remain in me.
It had always been him and it would always be him.
Wayne's POV
"Daddy Wayne!" Therese ran up to me with arms open. I opened mine and crouched
down, just in time to catch her in a hug. I lifted her up and she wrapped her tiny
arms around my neck. I love hearing her call me Daddy. I desperately wanted so bad
to be her real father. Therese was the daughter Tanya and I were supposed to have.
And this was the closest thing I could ever get to that cherished dream.
"Hey there, munchkin. Did you miss me?" I playfully asked.
"I did!" She answered almost immediately. "Mommy missed you, too."
I cocked a brow and turned my head to Tanya who was quietly watching us. Her eyes
suddenly widened in surprise when she heard what Therese said.
"Therese, ano na naman yang pinagsasabi mo?" She scolded.
"I saw you looking at Daddy Wayne's pictures-" She covered the little girl's mouth
with her hand. Her face turned bright red.
"Stop it!" She said. A wide smile that suddenly overtook my face. When our gaze
met, she instantly looked away. She couldn't hide the embarrassment on her face
even if she tried.
"I brought all the things we need to build your treehouse." I decided to let it
slide, for now.
Therese pulled Tanya's hand away from her mouth. She excitedly looked at me. "We're
going to make a treehouse?"
"Yeah, that's what I promised you." I pinched her nose.
"Mommy, we're going to make a treehouse!" She told her mother.
I went back to my car and took out all the things I needed to make the treehouse.
This was one of the dreams we dreamt together. Having a treehouse in our backyard
where our children could play.
Our love was lost but it was still love.
It was like an incurable disease, loving her... Nothing on earth could make me stop
feeling this way. I felt like I would still love her every single lifetime with
every fiber of my being. How could I completely let go of our hopes and dreams when
they were what kept me going?
I began to hammer the woods I'd brought together and Therese helped by handing me
the nails. There was a special connection between her and I. At first I just saw
her as a way to get close to Tanya but this little girl was full of charm. I wanted
to be her father even if it was just an illusion. I already love her like she was
my own. She may not be mine but she was the child of the woman I love more than
life itself.
"Kumain muna kayo." Tanya came out of the backyard with a tray in her hands.
"Gumawa ako ng sandwich at juice."
Therese and I stopped what we were doing and walked to the veranda where the food
was. We'd been putting the woods together for a good three hours now. It was almost
sun down and I didn't even realize it. Wala pa kaming masyadong nagawa. I had
trouble reading the blueprint and we made a couple of mistakes but we did have fun.
That was all that matters.
"Therese, look at you, you're all sweaty." Tanya exclaimed, wiping the little
girl's sweat with a small towel.
"That's 'cause Daddy Wayne and I did a lot of work today, didn't we?" She looked at
me.
"Yep and we still have a lot more work to do." I said.
"Daddy's sweaty too." She grinned. "Punas mo din siya."
Tanya looked at me and our eyes locked. I saw the subtle tightening of her whole
body.
"Yeah, I'm sweaty, too." I said with an arrogant smirk on lips, waiting to be
amused by her reaction.
Instead I became the fucking amusement when she came up to me and without saying
anything, she took out another towel and wiped the sweat off my forehead. I just
stared at her, dumbfounded. We looked into each other's eyes for a considerable
amount of time, the eye contact thing we always did. How could she do that? Make me
fall for her and yet hate her all at the same time?
"Do you two love each other?" We heard Therese's voice. It was as if we woke up
from a trance and we pulled away from each other.
"Ano na naman yan tanong mo, Therese?"
"Do you love my Mommy, Daddy Wayne?" She asked.
"What?" I looked at Tanya and she turned her head away from me. How do I answer
that? "Well, your Mommy and I have been friends for a long time. She... she means
alot to me."
My gaze averted back to Tanya. She was now chewing on her bottom lip, her
expression turning almost wistful.
"Do you love Daddy Wayne, Mommy?"
Tanya's face shifted into a new expression. It was as if she was thinking if she
should answer Therese's question or not.
"Eat your food and be quiet." Tanya sighed.
"One of my classmates asked where babies come from and my teacher said when Mommies
and Daddies love each other they can make a baby with each other." She innocently
said. "Are you going to make a baby?"
"Therese, that's not an appropriate thing to say!" Tanya exclaimed, shock and
embarrassment evident on her face.
The roar of my laughter filled the backyard from end to end. Kids and the silly
things they say.

"Daddy Wayne... Can you read me a bedtime story?" She asked, just as I was about to
go home. We'd already finished half of the treehouse's floor and I had dinner with
the two girls.
"Ako na lang. Let Wayne leave." Tanya said.
"But I want Daddy Wayne to read my bedtime story." She pouted.
"Pagod na si Wayne. Please, Therese, stop being so stubborn." Tanya frowned.
"It's okay." I told Tanya before averting my attention to Therese. I took her hand.
"Come on, I'll read you a story."
Therese took me to Tanya's room and Tanya followed behind us. She tucked her
daughter to bed while I grab a children's book. Therese asked me to lay down next
to her while Tanya sat on the other side next to her. I opened the book and began
to read her a short children's book.
"Good night, Daddy Wayne." She hooked her one arm around my neck and gave me a kiss
on the cheek. She did the same to Tanya with her other arm. "Good night, Mommy."
"Good night." We both said almost at the same time.
Therese soon fell asleep but I just quietly layed there and stared at the ceiling.
I never wanted to leave. I wished I could just stay here in this make-believe
reality where all our dreams came true and all our promises were fulfilled. I'd
always choose her. In a hundred lifetimes, in different worlds, in any version of
reality, I'd find her and I'd choose her. I knew the person who tore my heart into
pieces was the same person who has the power to put it back together.
"Wayne?" Tanya spoke.
"Yeah?" I sighed, as if my heart wanted room to clear my head.
"I'm sorry about what happened three days ago. I shouldn't have acted like that.
Salamat din sa lahat ng ginagawa mo para kay Therese."
"I want to know how sorry you are, Tanya." A menacing smirk played on my lips. I
hopped to her side of the bed and tossed my body on top of her. She looked at me
with eyes wide open in shock.
"W-what are you doing?" She whispered and turned her head to Therese who was just a
few inches away from us.
I rolled off the bed and onto the floor and I pulled her down with me. She let out
a quiet gasp when she landed on top of me. She put her hand to my chest and tried
to push her body up on top of me but I was quick to wrap my arms around her waist.
"Wayne, ano ba? Baka magising si Therese." She said in a hushed voice.
"She won't as long as we keep quiet." I murmured with my face buried into her neck.
I could feel her body softening against me and after awhile she stopped fighting.
Her arms wrapped around me and my hands began to caress the length of her back. I
knew all the right places to touch her, the right way to do it and the right things
to say.
This was the only way I knew how to communicate with her. Physically. I burn for
the raw honesty our bodies create together. It was an intense energy that before we
even touch was radiating off of us. Everytime we kiss and touch, it was as if no
time had elapsed between our present and past selves.
My hands roamed around her body as we kissed. I felt like I was on fire and it had
nothing to do with the temperature outside. My lips left hers and strayed over her
neck. She clutched onto my head as my lips wreacked havoc against her skin.
I reached for the hem of her dress and lifted it up over her head until she was
wearing nothing but her underwears. I looked at the majestic beauty sitting on top
of me. Her body was more womanly now, more curvy, more beautiful and attractive.
She was a full-grown woman now.
My hands encircled around both her breasts in a grip of pure, unadulterated grip. I
squeezed her soft flesh, she moaned and sighed quietly in response. My hands went
to her back and unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the ground. Lifting my head
up, I took her breast into my mouth and began to suck on it. She arched her back
under the lash of consuming pleasure.
I could feel my arousal growing inside my pants as I ground our hips together. My
hands went down to her stomach and made its way inside her remaining cloth, her
panties. My fingers glided along her folds. She was already hot and wet for me.
Wet, swollen, and ready. She rained liquid fire on my hand as I inserted my fingers
in and out of her.
I gave her other breast the same attention as I gave the first one while
unbuttoning my pants and pulling it down. I freed my engorged manhood. She looked
down at me with hooded eyes. I held her by the waist, lifting her up and pushing
her down my length. She let out a controlled whimper. It was as if our souls touch
for one moment of glory. And damn do our souls know each other.
I knew every gasp and could read every small change in how her body reacts. bit her
bottom lip as I moved her on top of me, careful not to make any noise. I swallowed
back my groans and moans. I sunk in and out of her, deeper with each thrust. A few
more deep desperation fueled thrust. I could feel myself nearing an orgasm.
"Come for me, Tanya. Now." I whispered into her ear with an agony of need.
My whole body stiffened and I hugged her as I drowned in my own ocean of pleasure.
She buried her face into my chest. We clung into each other, trying to get our
breathing back to normal.
"Is it true? What Therese said?" I asked after a few moments of silence.
"What?" She asked.
"That you were looking at my pictures." I smugly said.
"I-I wasn't."
"Don't lie while I'm inside you."
"I was just looking through the photos from family day." She quietly said.
"So were you looking at my photos?" A smile crept on my lips.
"Eh syempre, nandun ka." She answered.
I swallowed back a laughter. No matter how hopeless our situation seemed, I could
never turn my back on her. She was my happiness. She would always be my soulmate in
this lifetime and in any other life.
____
Sorry for taking too long to update.

Chapter Thirty Six

Tanya's POV
Pinagmasdan ko ang dalawa habang natutulog. Naalimpungatan si Therese kanina nang
paalis na si Wayne at hinalikan niya ang bata. Therese didn't want him to leave
kaya tinabihan niya muna ito hanggang sa makatulog din pati siya. Therese was in
his Wayne's arms and her head pillowed against his chest.
Hinawi ko ang hilang hibla ng buhok sa mukha ni Therese at hinalikan siya. I knew
how Therese feels. Lumaki akong walang ama. Ramdam ko din ang pangungulila niya sa
isang ama at kay Wayne niya nahanap iyon. Wayne had been nothing but wonderful.
Nakita ko kung gaano napamahal sa kanya si Therese. Pero nandyan si George. I
didn't want Wayne to take over his place as Therese's father. Mabuting ama si
George. He was doing the best he could. Kahit naman palaging wala si George, he
makes the most out of the times he spends with us.
Masyado pang bata si Therese para maintindihan iyon, ang sitwasyon namin. I didn't
want her getting used to having Wayne here but at the same time ayaw ko naman
ipagdamot kay Therese ito. My heart was in a battle with my head.
I leaned down to kiss Wayne too. He moaned and moved a little but didn't wake up. I
swallowed the lump forming in my throat. Minahal ako ni Wayne sa kung ano ako at
kung anong ako na akala niya noon. He gave me the love I needed and much more. Pero
iniwan ko siya. I was you back then. I was lost, scared, and confused. We were
young back then and I wanted to get life figured out more than I had it at 18. I
thought I was doing the right thing when I left him. Natakot din ako para kay
Wayne. I didn't want his father to disown him because of me.
Ngayon tinatanong ko sa sarili ko kung tama nga ba ang ginawa ko noon na iwan siya?
Would we have lasted? Would we have had the family we dreamt of having? Masaya kaya
kami ngayon?
They looked so peaceful, so serene as they cuddled. It almost seemed... fake. I
felt like I was in a dream I never wanted to wake up from. Tumabi ako sa dalawa,
nasa pagitan namin si Therese. I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist and closed
my eyes.
Wala na si Wayne at Therese ng magising ako pero naririnig ko ang dalawa sa labas
ng kwarto. I fixed myself up in the bathroom before heading out of the room.
Naghahabulan ang dalawa.
"Umagang-umaga, naghahabulan kayo. Nagbreakfast na ba kayong dalawa?" I asked.
"Mmhm, Daddy Wayne took me out. We ate burgers and fries and we also had donuts."
Sagot ng bata.
"That's what you had for breakfast?"
"Don't worry. We also bought fries and burger for you too, Mommy." Sabi ni Therese.
"Burger and fries for breakfast? Really, Wayne?" I cocked brow.
"You know I don't cook. She doesn't want oatmeal or cereal and she can't have
coffee."
"Sana nagpaluto kayo sa Yaya mo ng breakfast o ginising niyo ko."
"It's Yaya's off today, remember? And Daddy Wayne told me not to wake you up." She
reasoned.
"I know you're still tired from last night." He smiled meaningfully and then
winked. Suddenly, I felt all flushed. He slowly walked up to me still wearing
that... that stupid you-can't-help-but-love-me smile. Hinawakan niya ang
magkabilang baywang ko. "She's a kid, I just want to spoil her once in a while.
Minsan lang naman 'to."
I wanted to melt at the heat of his touch. He cupped my face in his hands. Bumaba
ang ulo niya sa akin at hinalikan ako sa noo. "Good morning."
"G-good morning, Angel." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. He used to do this to me when we
were still living together. I would always be greeted with the warmest of his kiss.
Sa mga oras na iyon, parang walang taon ang nagdaan. It was as if we were back to
the time when we were two in love teenagers. I didn't want him to see that longing
in my eyes.
"Therese, come on... paliliguan na kita. P-pasok ka pa." Mabilis akong umiwas sa
hawal niya.
"Mommy, it's Sunday today!" She said.
I heard a small chuckle from Wayne.
"Just because it's Sunday it doesn't mean hindi ka maliligo." Dahilan ko.
"Daddy and I are playing." She pouted.
"We can play after you take your bath. Listen to your Mommy." Wayne picked Therese
up in his arms and then averted his gaze at me.
"Okay but you have to promise you won't leave." Therese said.
"I will never leave. I'll be here, waiting for you..." Hindi niya tinanggal ang
tingin sa akin. It felt like those words he said were meant for me. I had to look
away because I couldn't stand him looking at me like that.
Inabot sa akin ni Wayne si Therese at sumama naman sa akin ang anak ko. At that
moment, I felt like we were a real family. I could see Wayne's genuine care and
affection towards Therese. Ito ang pamilyang pinapangarap namin noon at ang
pamilyang hindi ko naibigay sa kanya.

Wayne's POV
I didn't know what I was doing. All I knew was that I had missed her. And I wanted
to stay as close to her as I could so I wouldn't miss her as much. I was
irresistably drawn to her but I knew we were just fleeing company to each other and
sooner or later my time with her would run out.
She was in a relationship with a rich, married man whom she had a daughter with.
Kaya kong tanggapin iyon at kaya kong tanggapin si Therese huwag lang siyang mawala
ulit sa akin. Therese had been nothing but a sweetheart. She had gotten under my
skin at such a short amount of time. I could see in her the daughter we never had
together.
I loved being with Therese, not because of Tanya, but because she was simply an
adorable little girl. Hearing her call me Daddy Wayne with a cute smile on her face
made my dreams feel so real.
"Daddy Wayne, who are these flowers for?" Therese asked.
"For a beautiful woman." I smiled as I held her tiny hand in mine.
"For Mommy?" She innocently said.
"No, not for Mommy. For another beautiful woman. You'll meet her later." I
answered.
Tanya's face shifted into something different I couldn't identify. When she saw me
looking at her, she instantly looked away. I smiled to myself, guiding little
Therese to the backseat of my car. I, then, opened the door to the passenger's side
for Tanya. She slipped inside my car without throwing a single gaze at me. I ran to
the driver's seat and went in.
"Saan mo ba kami dadalhin?" There was a tone of irritation in her voice.
"You'll see." I answered.
"Kung may iba kang lakad dapat hindi mo na kami sinama ni Therese."
"Wala naman akong ibang lakad. What made you think that?"
"Eh sino yung sinasabi mong babaeng ipakikilala mo sa anak ko?"
"Are you... are you jealous?" I grinned.
"ME? Jealous? I'm not jealous!" She let out an exasperated exhale. "Wayne, ano'ng
gusto mong maging reaksyon ko? Gusto mong matuwa ako dahil ipakikilala mo ang anak
ko sa babae mo?"
"Babae ko?" I chuckled. "Wala akong babae, Angel. It's just you and Therese."
She swallowed, looking at me confused.
"I just think it's about time she meets tita Esther. Kung buhay ngayon si tita
Esther, matutuwa siya kay Therese." I smiled nostalgically.
Her eyes softened as she looked at me and then there were thin films of tears
laying over her strikingly beautiful dark eyes. She turned her head away from me
and looked out of the side window of the car. Tanya remained quiet the whole drive
while Therese and I talked.
I pulled over to the side of the road near tita Esther's grave. We all got out of
the car, I held Therese's hand while she held the bouquet of flowers in one hand.
Tanya followed behind us. We stopped and stood in front of her grave. I kept it
well-maintained.
"What are we doing here, Daddy Wayne?" She asked.
"We're here to visit tita Esther, she's your Mommy's mother." I explained.
"Well, where is she?" She looked around.
"She's in there." I pointed at the grave and knelt down on the grave. "Her souls in
heaven now, sweetheart. Why don't you give her the flowers?"
Therese put the flower right next to the headstone of the grave. "What is her soul
doing in heaven?"
"I'm sure she's watching over you and your Mommy." I said and looked up at Tanya
who was standing next to us. I took her and pulled her to sit next to us. She
wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face into my chest. My arms
encircled around her as she cried and sobbed.
"Why is Mommy crying?" Asked the little girl.
"She just misses her Mom." I answered and held one hand out to her. I pulled
Therese next to us. "Give Mommy a kiss to make her feel better."
Hinalikan ni Therese si Tanya sa pisngi. Tanya sniffed before looking up at me with
swollen eyes from tears. She uttered a thank you to me and pressed a soft kiss on
my lips. Her kiss was heady and sweet and warm. It was such a tempting mixture of
gentleness and contained passion.
"Ooohhhh..." The little girl's eyes widened. "You kissed again!"
We both pulled away from the kiss and looked at Therese. There was a slight
embarrassment on Tanya's face but when I laughed at the girl's reaction, she
laughed along too. I pulled Therese in my arms and held the two in an embrace. We
stayed for awhile and said a silent prayer for tita Esther.
I took Tanya and Therese to the park afterwards where we had our little picnic
together. We played tag and ate the food Tanya prepared for us. Soon, the hyper
Therese ran out of energy and fell asleep.
Therese napped on the picnic blanket and Tanya sat next to her daughter, stroking
her hair. It was such a perfect day. I couldn't remember the last time I was this
happy and content. I rested my head on her lap and she looked down at me. Every
moment seemed perfect when it contained the two of us.
She smiled and raked her fingers through my hair. "Alam kong nasabi ko na ito pero
sasabihin ko ulit ito, Thank you, Wayne."
Her eyes glimmered with bright sparkle.
There was nothing I wouldn't do for her. Absolutely nothing. And that was what I
hated the most.
They say love doesn't keep record of the wrongs. No matter what she did in the
past, my love never left and my heart was still for her. Even if the sun fades,
the moon disappears and the world stops, I knew I would still love her. Because it
was only in her that I learned how to love. In her, I find me.
"Kiss me." I whispered.
Her eyes flickered with surprise but then it softened again. She smiled and her
head lowered to mine. Her lips grazed mine. I held her face in one hand and my
fingers slid through her hair. We kissed as if our existence demanded it. It was
like we saved each other from a horrible existence, one without the other.
Loving her was like breathing. Her absence ached like a terribly long exhale and
her presence was the sweet relief of a desperate inhale. Every shattered dreams,
forgotten promises, every shed of brokeness I felt inside were all erased with one
kiss.
I let everything go, the fear, the weight, the hurt...
"I... I went to Japan. Hinanap kita doon, Tanya." I said a few minutes after we
broke away from the kiss.
"Wayne..." Her voice cracked.
"Ilang beses akong nagpabalik-balik sa Japan para hanapin ka. Kung saan-saan parte
ng Japan ako nagpunta. Kung kani-kanino ako nagtanong. I desperately wanted you
back. I needed you... I was nothing but an empty shell of what we were before..."
"I'm sorry... I never meant to hurt you... N-natakot ako." Tears began to sear from
her eyes.
"Natatakot ka kaya ka umalis? You decided for the both of us? Ni hindi mo man lang
ako kinausap, bigla ka na lang umalis." I said with a soft growl, forcing the lump
forming in my throat down. My anger surfaced through the pain.
"I was confused..."
"With what? Hindi pa ba malinaw sa'yo noon kung gaano kita kamahal? I would've
given you the world."
"Natakot ako na baka dumating yung panahon na mawala ka din sa akin... Kasi sa'yo
na umikot ang mundo ko. Ikaw na lang meron ako. Kapag nawala ka pa, natakot ako na
baka wala na rin matira sa akin kahit ang sarili ko... I was losing myself in you.
Iniwan kita dahil kailangan kong hanapin ang sarili ko."
"Sino'ng may sabing mawawala ako?" Tears stung my eyes. "I... I waited for you...
even when I knew you weren't coming back. Huwag mo na akong iiwan, Tanya. Hindi ko
alam ang gagawin ko kapag nawala ka ulit sa akin."
Tears began to spill from my eyes. I held unto her like a lost boy who had found
his way home. She was my home. I didn't know where we were heading from here all I
knew was that I belong to her. No matter what life holds for me it could never
change the fact that my happiness was in her keeping.

Chapter Thirty Seven

Tanya's POV

I could feel his pain because I felt the same pain too when I left him. Masakit din
sa akin yung desisyon ko na lumayo sa kanya. Ten years kong dinala ang sakit na
iyon. The difference between him and I was that I chose to leave him. Hindi niya
piniling iwan ko siya.
Hindi ko naman sinasadyang masaktan siya. To hurt him was the last thing that I
wanted. Akala ko noong mga panahon na iyon ginagawa ko yung tama para sa sarili ko
at higit sa lahat, para sa kanya. I didn't mean to hurt him.
I hugged him even tighter as if to fill all the times I wasn't by his side. I
believed what people around us said. That I did not deserve him. I did not deserve
his love...
We were two young and broken people. We were so dependent on each other because of
our pain and it was hard to break the tie. We were growing into each other that it
was nearly impossible to untangle ourselves from each other. I wasn't my own person
anymore. I was Wayne's. Natakot akong dumating ang araw na pati siya ay maniwala sa
sinasabi ng ibang tao. Na dumating yung panahon na iwan niya na ako. I couldn't
distinguish myself from him anymore. I would be nothing without him. Hindi ko na
makikilala ang sarili ko kapag nawala siya sa akin.
It was then that I realized that two broken people doesn't make a whole. He loved
me so much that he took every burden I carried and made it his own. I couldn't let
him love me for the both os us. It wasn't right... I wanted to love him for all the
right reasons. Not just because I needed him. I wanted to be deserving of him and
of his love. I wanted to be whole on my own.
Mahal ko si Wayne. Hindi nawala ang pagmamahal na iyon kahit mataggal na panahon na
ang lumipas. He did not deserve what I had done to him. Ten years after and I still
was not worthy of his love.
Gumalaw siya, his arm pulled me in closer. He had me in his left arm while Therese
slept in his right arm. Pushing my face closer to his neck, I kissed his jaw.
"Tell me you never meant to leave me. That everything was just a mistake. Hindi mo
naman ako gustong iwan, di ba? You said you loved me... please don't tell me those
were all lies. Say it. Just say it and I'll believe you. Paniniwalaan ko lahat ng
sasabihin mo. Sa'yo lang ako maniniwala." He was in a desperate need of
reassurance.
"Those weren't lies. Minahal kita noon at walang nagbago doon." I nuzzled my face
into against his skin and closed my eyes. There was nothing better than having the
two people I love most in this world next to me.
Para kaming totoong pamilya. Wayne moved in with us while we worked on the business
we had together. It started with him spending the night or two in our house.
Hanggang sa nagdadala nagsimula na siyang magdala ng mga damit dito. Before I knew
it, he was living with us. He slept in my bed and made love to me every night.
Therese was very attached to him and I could see how much he loved my daughter.

Hindi magandang nakikita ng anak ko na may nakakasama akong lalaki sa isang kwarto
at nakakatabi sa pagtulog. Someday she'd understand that we weren't simply having
'sleep-overs' and Wayne wasn't simply my friend. Pero sa ngayon, hindi ko magawang
itulak palayo sa akin si Wayne. Ayaw ko na malayo siya sa akin.
"Angel..." Nagulat ako ng yumakap siya sa akin mula sa likod. I turned my head to
Wayne who now had his chin resting on my shoulder.
Hinalikan ko siya sa gilid ng noo niya. "Pahinga ka muna. Kanina ka pa trabaho ng
trabaho."
"I have to make sure everything's perfect." He kissed my shoulder. "Ano'ng oras na
pala? We still have to pick Therese up from school. Kumain na lang tayo sa labas
bago umuwi."
I smiled and nodded my head.
We headed straight to Therese's school after finishing our work. Nakapili na kami
ng location para sa itatayong bar-lounge at iyon ang pinagkakaabalahan namin
ngayon. Wayne was the owner of the largest, well-known chains of party nightclubs
in the Philippines. He was good with what he was doing at hindi na ako nagtataka
kung bakit lumago ng ganito ang negosyo niya.
"Mommy, Daddy Wayne!" Therese ran towards us when she saw us. Yumakap siya sa amin
dalawa at binuhat siya ni Wayne.
"Mommy didn't make any dinner tonight so we're going to eat out. What do you want
for dinner?" Wayne gently asked.
"Umm..." Therese thought. "I want some pizza and some ice cream!"
"Pizza and ice cream it is then." Wayne smiled.
Pumunta kami sa isang pizza restaurant kung saan napili kumain ng dalawa.
"Why do you always call Mommy Angel?" Therese said, chewing on her pizza.
Wayne looked at Therese and smiled. "When I met your Mommy that's when I started
believing in angels. How can someone not believe in such beautiful beings when a
sample of their kind is right in front of you?"
His eyes averted to me. Napakagat ako sa pang-ibabang labi ko at sinubukan kong
pigilin ang kilig ko. Oh Wayne and his words...
"Ikaw talaga. Kumain ka na nga." Naiiling na sabi ko. He gave me a wink and turned
his attention back to Therese.
"Mommy, can Daddy Wayne and I play first. I want to play in the arcade!" She
muttered.
"Kakain na tayo, Therese." Sabi ko.
"The arcade is just right across. Maglalaro muna kami habang naghihintay ng orders
natin."
"Please, Mommy?" She pouted.
"Fine. Pero sandali lang kayo ha?" I sighed.
"Yay! Let's go, Daddy!" She hopped out of the booth and tugged Wayne's hand.
Tumakbo sila papunta sa arcade
"Seeing them together, the two of them, always makes me feel warm inside. Hindi
niya tinratong iba si Therese. He treated her like a real daughter. Hindi ko na
naman maiwasan maisip kung paano nga kung anak talaga namin si Therese at natupad
namin ang pamilyang pinapangarap namin noon. Muli akong napabuntong-hininga. There
was no room for regrets. Kahit maglumpasay ako hindi ko na maibabalik ang panahon.
All I could do now was to make the best of what we had.
Sa sampung taon na magkahiwalay kami ni Wayne, no one and nothing had even come
close to the way he makes me feel. I knew no one ever would.
"Tanya?" I was sucked out of my thoughts when I heard a man's voice call my name.
"LUIS?!" Napatayo ako mula sa kinauupuan ko.
He smile but his eyes were sad. "Hi."
I didn't know how to react, seeing him again after a lot of years. Libing ni Nanay
noong huling beses ko siyang nakita.
"Hindi ko akalain na magkikita pa tayo. Kumusta ka na?" Tanong niya sa akin.
I swallowed. "Okay naman. Ikaw?"
"Ito." He shrugged. "Hanggang ngayon sumasagi pa rin sa isip ko si tita Esther at
ang kasalanan ko sa inyo. Sinisisi ko pa rin ang sarili ko. Hindi ko naman
sinasadyang humantong sa ganun..."
"Matagal na 'yun." Sabi ko.
"Sana mapatawad mo ako sa kasalanan ko sa'yo at kay tita Esther."
"Napatawad ka na ni Nanay bago siya mawala..." My eyes lowered. "Sino ba rin naman
ako para hindi magpatawad?"
"Ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?" Nagulat ako ng biglang hapitin ni Wayne ang baywang ko.
My head turned to him and he protectively pulled me to his side. "Get away from
Tanya."
"It's okay, Wayne." Marahang sabi ko.
"Daddy Wayne, why are you mad?" Takang-tanong ni Therese habang karga siya ni Wayne
sa isang braso niya. Therese sweetly wrapped her arms around him and kissed him on
the cheek.
"Pasensya na. Hindi ako nanggugulo. Nakita ko lang siya at lumapit ako sa kanya
para kumustahin siya."
"Tanya, ikaw ba yan?" Nagulat ako ng makita ko si Edna na palapit sa amin.
"Edna!"
"Tanya!" Patakbong lumapit siya sa akin at niyakap ako. "Grabe! Ang tagal natin
hindi nagkita."
"Kumusta ka na?" Tanong ko sa kanya ng maghiwalay kami.
"Okay na okay. Apat na taon na kaming kasal ni Luis." Tumabi siya sa lalaki at
ikinawit ang mga bisig niya sa braso nito. "May baby na kami. Iniwan muna namin sa
Mama ko ngayon makapagdate naman kami."
"I'm so happy for the both of you." I smiled as I looked at them. "Si Wayne nga
pala at ito naman si Therese... a-anak namin."
I looked at Wayne and something glimmered in his eyes when I said Therese was our
daughter. A hint of smile broke on his lips.
Tumingin si Edna sa tabi ko kung nasaan si Wayne at Therese. "Hi, Wayne! Nice to
see you again. Ang ganda-ganda naman ng baby niyo. Kamukha ni Tanya!"
"Hello!" Therese charmingly waved at her.
"Hi, baby. Ako si tita Edna. Best friend ako ng Mommy mo noong college pa kami."
She pinched my daughter's cheek.
"How come I've never seen you before?" She asked quizically.
"Kasi wala ka pa nun. Your Mommy was really young, magboyfriend pa lang sila ng
Daddy mo." Edna explained.
I invited the two of them over to our table at hindi naman tumanggi si Edna. I had
lost contact with her when I went to Japan at ngayon na lang ulit kami nagkita.
Kinamusta namin ang buhay ng isa't-isa. At first, ilang pa si Luis and Wayne didn't
hide his annoyance towards him but It didn't take awhile for all of us warm up to
each other again. Isa nang journalist si Edna at si Luis naman ay isa nang IT
manager sa pinagtatrabahuhan niya. May two year old na silang anak na lalaki at
mukha naman masaya sila sa isa't isa. Kahit hindi sabihin sa akin noon ni Edna,
ramdam ko naman na may gusto na siya kay Luis noon. Oo, may mga maling nagawa si
Luis noon pero hindi ibig sabihin nun masama siyang tao. Nabulag lang siya sa
nararamdaman niya.
"O, paano ba yan? Kailangan na namin umuwi. Hinihintay na kami ng anak namin."
Paalam ni Edna. "Basta ha, magtawagan tayo. Labas ulit tayo minsan, sasama ko na
ang baby namin."
"Oo naman." Sabi ko at niyakap siya. "I missed you, Edna."
"Ikaw din, na miss kita, friendship." She hugged me back and after awhile, we broke
away from the hug. Itinuon niya naman ang atensyon niya kay Therese na nakasiksik
sa tabi ni Wayne. "Nako! Daddy's girl talaga yan anak niyo. Hindi nahiwalay sa ama.
Bye na, baby Therese!"
"Bye, tita Edna!" She smiled as she chewed on the chocolate chip cookie in her
hand.
"Dadalin ko ang baby ko minsan para may kalaro ka." She told the little girl.
"Bye Tanya, bye Wayne." Paalam naman ni Luis. Wayne just answered him with a nod
without breaking a single smile on his face.
"Bye. Mag-ingat kayo sa pag-uwi." Paalala ko.

"You were Mommy's boyfriend before I was even born?" Tanong ni Therese kay Wayne
nang makauwi na kami. Therese was a very smart kid. Hindi nakakalagpas sa kanya ang
mga simpleng bagay na hindi naman dapat maintindihan pa ng mga batang ka-edad niya.
"Yeah." Wayne answered. "We were very young at that time."
"How did you meet Mommy?" She asked.
"Well... it's hard to explain."
"I'll try to understand." Sagot nito.
"Hmm, okay. Your Mommy and I met through a book."
Siniko ko siya sa sinabi niya. "Wayne!"
"What?" He tried to sound innocent but his chuckle gave him away. "Your Mommy loved
reading books. We met in a bookstore."
He looked at me with a grin and I rolled my eyes at him.
"I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. She was wearing a red dress and she
was so beautiful. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my whole life." He
averted his eyes from Therese to me. I could feel the sincerity of his words. He
might have made up the story of how we met but he said he felt at that time sounded
so genuine.
"And you fell in love with Daddy, too?" Therese asked.
I smiled and nodded my head.
"He was my first love." The first and only.
Wayne's eyes softened as he looked at me. He pulled me to him and kissed me on the
forehead and I wrapped my arms around his torso.
"But what about Papa George?" Tanong ni Therese. "Love mo din siya, right?"
"Of course... he has a special place in my heart too." I answered.
"Come on, munchkin. Time for bed." Aya ni Wayne sa bata. We took her to her
bedroom, tucked her in and said our goodnights. Pagkatapos ay nagtungo na kami sa
kwarto namin.
___
Sorry for stalling for over a month. I got distracted with other things. I hope you
understand.

Chapter Thirty Eight

Wayne's POV
"Wayne..." Tanya's soft voice called my name. She rested her head on my chest and
wrapped her arms around me. She pressed a kiss on my jaw. "Hindi ko akalain
magkikita kami nina Edna at Luis. Sila rin pala ang magkakatuluyan."
I didn't say a word or even move a muscle. Why didn't we end up like them? Instead
here we were, in a complicated and frustrating relationship. I didn't even know
what to call this? What was I supposed to be? The lover of a mistress?
"Wayne, nakikinig ka ba sa akin?" She lifted her head up and leveled her head to
mine.
"Yeah..." I answered quietly.
"Bakit ba ang tahimik mo ngayon? May problema ba?" A hint of worry crossed her
face.
"Nothing. I'm just tired." I exhaled.
It hurt having to hear her say that she loved that old man. It broke my heart into
pieces, it shattered every illusion I had of our happy family. I was just here to
fill George's place until he comes back. Tanya and Therese weren't mine and that
was what hurts the most.
"Sabi naman kasi sa'yo huwag kang masyadong magpapakapagod." She nuzzled her face
into my neck. "Gusto mo bang i-massage kita?"
"No, I'm fine."
"Wayne, something's bothering you. Nararamdaman ko. Dahil ba iyon kay Luis? Matagal
na 'yun. Napatawad na siya ni Nanay at napatawad ko na din siya. He has grown now
at may pamilya na sila ni Edna. Isa pa, napagbayaran niya na ang kasalanan niya."
"It's not him." It was that old man!
"Then what's bothering you? Sabihin mo sa akin para hindi na ako nanghuhula." Her
fingers gently played over my chest.
"Nothing. You better get some sleep. We've had a long day at maaga pa ang pasok ni
Therese bukas." I reminded her before kissing her on the lips.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked again.
"Yeah."
"Good night, Wayne. I love you." She muttered before drifting to sleep.
"I love you too, Angel." I whispered.
All the fear and vulnerability that engulfed me earlier was back as I stared at the
ceiling. She said she loved George and that he had a special place in her heart. It
played in my mind over and over again, those words mocked me. I had her in my arms
now but at any moment, I felt like she could be snatched away from me. I still love
Tanya as I did the first time I'd felt it. I love her even though I wasn't supposed
to. And if she let me, I'd fight for her and Therese.
I was perfectly aware of the wounds and bruises I was about to get, the risk, the
possible heartbreak at the end of all these. I guess fear wasn't enough for me to
stop because I was still here. I'd always be here for her. They say you have to
love yourself first before loving anyone. I call that bullshit because I only truly
learned to love myself the moment I loved her I only love myself when I'm with her.
For this feeling I'd risk anything, everything...
The Buddhists say it isn't love until she calms your soul. She always takes me into
her ocean of tranquility. Everytime I'm with her my world shrinks down to just the
two of us to the degree that I couldn't find it in me to care about the rest of it
is any more.When we're together I feel a tingle along my spine that tells me that
any moment now I'd be complete. She made me feel whole like no other. She brings
the soul in me, the love in me.
I knew, sooner or later, George would come back and take back his place but until
then I wanted to stay in this blissful oblivion.

I let Tanya design the interior of the lounge bar. She spoke with the interior
designer we hired and showed the sketch to me. Her style was very different from
mine. Mine was dark and edgy and hers were soft and very chic. I liked it as the
style was different from all the bar lounge I owned.
"Nagustuhan mo ba yung designs na pinili ko?" Tanya asked.
"Of course. They're perfect." I said.
"Wayne." She cupped my face with one hand. "Are you sure you're okay? Kagabi ka pa
walang kibo." Her eyes lowered to the glass of scotch I was holding. She took it
from me and placed it down on top of the counter I was leaning against.
"I already told you, I'm okay." I assured her, taking her hand in mine and bringing
it to my lips.
"Eh bakit kasi ang tahimik mo?"
"Because I had nothing to say." I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her
closer to me. I lowered my head and drew my lips near her ear. "But now I do.
You're beautiful."
"Yan ka na naman! Napakabolero." She looked up at me, smiling.
I smiled and kissed her on her forehead, to the tip of her nose and then my lips
pressed against hers. She kissed me back. Her taste and the perfect fit of her in
my arms made something coiled inside me. I wanted the world to disappear to only
the two of us. After a second or two, she pulled away.
"Wayne, baka may makakita sa atin." She said, looking around. The designers and the
planners were just a few feet away from us.
"Ano naman kung makita nila tayo?" My brows furrowed. "Kinahihiya mo ba ako?"
"Wayne, it's not that..." She gently said. "I just don't want them to think..."
"To think what? Na may relasyon tayo?" I said in a low growl.
"Wayne, hindi iyon." She shook her head.
I turned and walked away. I tried to bottle up what I felt when she said that thing
about George last night but my insecurity was eating me up. I couldn't fuckin hide
it even if I tried. I felt the bottle that I had kept my emotions in crack and I
knew that any wrong thing she says could cause me to explode.
"Wayne..." She followed behind me until we were out in the parking lot. She caught
up on me, wrapping her arms around one of mine. "Wayne, ano bang nangyayari sa'yo?"
"Nothing." We stopped in front of my car and I turned to face her. "I'm sorry,
Angel. I guess I'm just having a hard day."
She cupped my face in her two soft palms and looked me in the eye. "Hindi totoo ang
iniisip mo. Hindi kita kinahihiya, Wayne. Huwag ka naman magalit sa akin." She
leaned over, drawing her lips close to mine. Her lips lightly grazed mine. "Mahal
na mahal kita."
"I love you too, Angel. I love you beyond sense." I found myself answering her kiss
with a more passionate one. We kissed for several minutes, drinking from her mouth
and taking something from her that would help me soothe the pain. Then we pulled
away.
"Hindi ka na galit?" She looked at me with those doe-like eyes that makes me melt
into a puddle.
"I'm not mad at you." I gently said. I was just scared and insecure. I was scared
of losing her again. If I had to steal or borrow time to be with her then I fucking
would. I refused to believe that she wouldn't mine. She used to mine and she would
always be mine.
"What do you want to name your new pets?" I asked Therese. After Tanya and I picked
her up from her school, we decided to take her to a pet shop. Tanya wouldn't let
her have a pet dog yet so I decided to just get her a pair goldfish. She was
ecstatic, nonetheless. We bought a tank for the fish and a few decorations she
picked herself.
"I don't know. What do you think, Daddy?" Therese looked at me.
"We can name the red one Clifford." I smiled.
"Yeah! I like that name!" She beamed. "What about the other one?"
"Let's ask, Mommy." I turned my head to Tanya. She was sitting on the couch, just
watching us. "What do you want to name the other goldfish, Angel?"
She stood up and walked towards us. Umupo siya sa sahig sa tabi namin. The small
aquarium was placed on top of the coffee table. She drew her head closed to the
aquarium. "Yung white?"
"Yup." Therese nodded her head.
"Snow White." She said.
"Okay, the red one is Clifford and the white one is Snow White." Therese tapped on
the glass, pointing at the two goldfish. Then she turned to me and hugged me.
"Thanks, Daddy Wayne. You're the best!"
"Anything for our little princess." I kissed her on the forehead.
"Bakit ang Daddy Wayne mo lang ang may hug? Kasama naman ako nung binili niyo yan,
saka di niyo naman mabibili yan kung hindi ako pumayag." Tanya crossed her arms
over her chest, kunwaring nagtatampo.
"You made Mommy upset." I said, playing along.
A hint of worry flashed across Therese's innocent face. She wrapped her arms around
Tanya and hugged her. "You too, Mommy. You and Daddy Wayne are the bestest!"
"Mas love mo yata ang Daddy Wayne mo kaysa sa akin." Tanya pouted.
"I love the two of you just the same." She said, hugging the two of us in each her
tiny arms. Tanya and I both chuckled at the little girl's cuteness.
I cupped Tanya's chin and drew her head closer to mine, pressing a soft kiss on her
voluptuous lips.
"Daddy Wayne and Mommy sitting on a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" She sang. Our head both
turned to Therese and we laughed. Life couldn't get any better with these two women
in my life. With the two of them, I was at my best. They gave me what I didn't have
in my life, what I wanted most, peace and purity. Some search for their who life
for what I had with them. I couldn't see myself creating a life with anyone other
than these two.
The phone rang and Tanya stood up to pick up the phone. Therese and I ogled at the
aquarium, watching her pets swim around.
I suddenly stiffened when I heard Tanya say George's name. I pretend to be busy
with Therese but my eyes were to Tanya.
"We're okay. Don't worry... Yes, Therese is here. Do you want to talk to her?" She
asked before going back to our place.
"Therese, Papa George wants to talk to you." Sabi ni Tanya sa bata.
Therese's eyes glowed and she immediately took the phone from Tanya. "Papa George!
I miss you so much!"
My jaw clenched. White, hot jealousy took over my whole body. I took in a deep
breath as I felt my chest heave up and down at the attempt to cover it up.
"You have to come see my new pets, we named them Snow White and Clifford... Yeah,
they swim alot... When are you going to come back? ... I just have to wait three
more days?! " She excitedly said. "Okay! I'll wait for you, Papa. I love you."
After talking to George, Therese handed the phone back to Tanya and I heard Tanya
say bye to him. She reminded the old man to take his medicine and to always take
care. It was like a fucking blow to my chest hearing their conversations. It felt
like my heart was being squeezed out of my chest.
"Papa George said I'd have to wait three more days and then he'll be here when I
wake up." Therese told me.
I took in another deep breath to calm my raging nerves. Tanya placed the phone down
to its receiver and looked at me with worry in her beautiful face.
"Wayne... can we talk? Privately?" She chewed on her bottom lip.
I could feel the tension in the air and the tight clenching anxiety in my stomach
made it worse. It was as if their was an invisible weight pressing against my
chest.
"Your Mommy and I just needs to talk." I tried to keep myself composed as I stood
from where I was sitting.
Tanya turned her back and headed to the bedroom. I followed her.
"Is it about George?" I said in a low growl.
She slowly nodded. "Wayne, sana maintindihan mo. You need to move out. Malapit ng
dumating si George."
"Of course, I understand... I'm only supposed to be here when you need me." I
sarcastically snickered.
"Wayne naman. Hindi sa ganun." She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face
into my chest. "He can't see you here. Hindi niya pwedeng malaman na dito na
nagsasama na tayo. He doesn't even know about us. Intindihin mo sana ang sitwasyon
ko."
"Oh, I understand, alright! I fucking understand! Ako naman palagi ang kailangan
umintindi!" I pried her arms off me. I took steps back from her. "You know what?
I'm tired of all these... My life has been reduced to when you want me and when you
don't. I can't put up with this anymore. I can't keep doing this to myself."
"Wayne..." Her eyes began to water. I wanted to pull her into a hug but stopped
myself from doing so.
Awang-awa na ako sa sarili ko. Para akong asong naghihintay sa buto-buto. I had
decided I was done. From this day forward, she'd just be a memory. A beautiful one.
I decided I would let her go. She gave up on me first but this time I wasn't going
to let her give up on me again, this time I'd be the one to give her up.

Chapter Thirty Nine

Wayne's POV
"Wayne, mag-usap muna tayo. Pag-usapan natin 'to." Her voice quivered with tears as
she clutched onto my arm. "Please, Wayne..."
"There's nothing to talk about." I harshly pulled my arm away from her. I tried to
keep a stoic front, trying to cover up the hurt and anger that wanted to explode.
"Pansamantala lang ito. Huwag mo naman gawin sa akin ito." She begged.
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. My head snapped to her direction.
"Don't you fucking dare tell me na huwag kong gawin sa'yo ito. Wala kang karapatan
dahil ginawa mo din sa akin ito! You left me without even a proper goodbye."
"I- I'm sorry. Alam mong mabigat din sa loob kong iwan ka noon." Tears began to
roll down her cheeks.
"Mabigat din sa akin itong gagawin ko but I can't do this anymore, Tanya... I'm
fucking tired..."
"Mahal kita, Wayne. Mahal na mahal kita."
"No, do not tell me that! Everytime you tell me that I believe you and you still
fucking left me like I was nothing. I don't even know how you can say that to me.
If this is what you call love then I don't want it! I'm tired of waiting around for
your head and heart to make an agreement. It shouldn't be this hard, Tanya."
"Wayne..." She sobbed.
I turned my back and marched to the door.
"Daddy Wayne." Therese ran up to me when i got out of the room. She took my hand
and tried to pull me but I stood still. "Let's feed Snow White and Clifford."
"Hey." My voice croaked, bending one knee to level with the little girl. "I'm
sorry, munchkin. I need to go."
"Where are you going?" Her forehead crumpled. "Can I come with you?"
"No, you can't. I'm not going to live here anymore. I'm going back to my house." I
sighed, trying to ease the heaviness in my chest.
"You're not going to come back?"
I shook my head. " But I'll visit every now and then. I'd still take you out if
your Mommy will let me. I promise."
"But why?" The little girl pouted and her eyes began to water.
"I can't explain it to you now, munchkin. Please, don't cry." I gently wiped away
the tears that formed in the corners of her eyes.
"Daddy, please don't go..." Her voice shook.
I tightly shut my eyes and took in a deep inhale. "Promise me you'd take care of
yourself, your Mommy and your pets. I have to go."
I gave her a kiss on the forehead before I stood up. I had only taken one step when
she grabbed me by the wrist. "Daddy Wayne, don't go. Don't leave me..."
"I'm sorry, munchkin." I could feel the lump forming in my throat when she begged
and cried for me. She refused to let go of me. I tried to pry her hands away from
me but when I finally did, she wrapped her arms around my waist.
"Therese, I can't stay here. I'm sorry..." I said trying to pull her away from me
but each time she just hugs me tighter.
"Therese..." Tanya finally walked up to us, her eyes swollen and red with tears.
She pulled Therese away from me and held her. Our gaze met each other for a moment,
her eyes were bared to me showing pain. Tears began to film her eyes again and that
was when she looked down, breaking the gaze.
"I don't want Daddy Wayne to go." Therese was now crying and sobbing, her words
almost incoherent.
I turned to the door and made my exit. My hands balled into fists, trying to keep
my emotions in. I left what we had for the sake of my heart. My heart had been
beaten to a pulp that I started to feel numb, hollow. I didn't know if it could
take another blow. The longer I stayed, the more pain I had to endure when it came
to the end.
I ran out of energy to keep fighting for something that might not be enough to hold
on to. I fought until there was not enough strength that I could keep to heal
myself. I fought so hard for a love that wasn't meant to survive. Even when I knew
this would never survive, that our version of love wasn't the right one, I still
fought for it and I held on to it. I still had the hope that someday that our love
would mold itself into the kind that would survive. But dear Lord, was I wrong.
My borrowed time was up.

Tanya's POV
Iyak ng iyak si Therese at pilit na humahabol kay Wayne pero pinipigilan ko siya.
Kahit ako mismo, gusto ko rin humabo sa kanya. Gusto kong magmakaawa na huwag niya
akong iwan. But he looked determined to leave and it would be unfair for him.
Wala akong karapatan hilingin iyon dahil iniwan ko rin siya noon. Alam kong
nasaktan ko siya pero kahit anong gawin ko hindi ko na maitatama ang pagkakamali ko
noon. I just wanted to be with him and have the happy family we dreamt of having.
When he moved in with us, pakiramdam ko natupad ang pamilyang pinapangarap namin.
We were living our dream. Ngayon ang araw na nagising kami sa magandang panaginip
na iyon.
Konting panahon lang naman ang hinihiling ko sa kanya. Ayaw ko naman na maabutan na
lang ni George na may lalaking nakatira dito kasama namin. Gusto ko munang maayos
na maipaliwanag kay George pero hindi na mangyayari iyon dahil iniwan niya na ako.
"Shh, tama na." I pulled Therese into a hug as I tried not to cry myself.
"I want my Daddy Wayne." Humihikbing sabi niya.
"Alam ko na, tomorrow we'll go see a movie-"
"No! I want my Daddy Wayne!" Patuloy pa rin ito sa pag-iyak.
Therese eventually got tired of crying and fell asleep. I carried her to my bedroom
and laid her down the bed. I didn't want to be alone in this room with the scent
and memories of Wayne lingering around me. Naiwan pa rin sa unan ang amoy niya.
Niyakap ko ang unan niya at doon ko ibinuhos ang mga luha ko habang mahimbing na
natutulog si Therese sa tabi ko. I lost him for the second time and I had no one to
blame but me. I felt like I was sucked back into a dark whole where I had been for
years when I left Wayne.
Hinahanap pa rin ni Therese si Wayne. The whole house was filled with sorrow, with
Wayne's heavy absence. His absence was a hole in my heart I could never fill. It
hurt even worse dahil naaapektuhan din si Therese. Madalas nakaupo lang si Therese
sa tabi ng aquarium na binili para sa kanya ni Wayne at nakatitig sa dalawang
goldfish na nandoon. Naging matamlay at tahimik ang bata.
I tried calling him a few times but he never answers my calls. Nagpunta ako sa
opisina niya pero palagi siyang wala. I hadn't stopped missing him since he left.
Napagod na siguro siya. Sino ba naman hindi mapapagod?
I should've fought for him then, hindi ko dapat siya iniwan noon. He loved me and I
gave him nothing but pain. if there was anything that he deserved more in this
world, it was the type of love that couldn't be questioned or destroyed. I had
destroyed that love long ago.
"Tanya, darling." Niyakap ako ni George ng salubungin namin siya ni Therese sa
pinto ng bahay. George picked Therese up and carried her in his arm. "I'm so glad
to finally see my two girls again."
"I missed you, Papa." She rested her head on his shoulder.
"I missed you, too. You and your Mommy." George held an arm out to me and he pulled
me into an embrace.
"Let's go in. Para naman makapagpahinga ka na, alam kong pagod ka sa biyahe. I
prepared food for you, kung gusto mong kumain." I said.
"Thank God. I'd been running on airline food all day, it's nice to come home to a
good old homecooked meal."
We went in and had our dinner. Pagkatapos kumain ay hinatak ni Therese si George
papunta sa aquarium at ipinakita ang pets niya.
"This is Snow White and this is Clifford." She introduced her pets to George.
"Daddy Wayne bought them for me."
"Daddy Wayne?" George's brows furrowed and then he turned his head to me. He looked
as if he was waiting for me to say something. Nawala naman ang ngiti sa labi ni
Therese ng muli niyang mabanggit si Wayne.
"Yeah, Daddy Wayne. You know him. You've met him."
"Of course, darling. I know who he is." George smiled at the little girl.
I wanted to speak but no words came out. Ayaw ko rin naman na mapag-usapan namin
ito sa harap ni Therese. The two talked for awhile, catching up on each other.
Pagkatapos ay dinala ko na si Therese sa kwarto niya para makatulog na ang bata.
"Therese is really fond of Mr. St. Croix." Sabi ni George ng maiwan kaming dalawa.
Wala kasing bukang-bibig si Therese kung hindi si Wayne.
"Naging malapit si Therese kay Wayne habang wala ka."
"The kid loves him." George smiled and then sighed. "I've always known he's a good
man. I know I'm not always around for Therese and she's longing for a father
figure."
"Don't think about it too much. We understand..."
"You may understand but the little girl doesn't." He sighed.
"George... Please, don't stress yourself out. It's not good for you."
"I know my shortcomings as a father, Tanya. You don't have to cover it up."
"You're a great father. You may not be there for us all the time but you never fail
to show us how much you love us."
"Oh, Tanya. You are such a sweetheart. I love you and Therese with my life." He
took my hand and kissed the back of it.
Gumapang ang kamay ko at hinaplos ang pisngi niya. I carressed his tired face. "We
know that, George. Why don't you get some sleep? Mukhang pagod na pagod ka."
"I will." He said. "By the way, how is it working with Mr. St Croix?"
"It's... it's okay..." My eyes lowered to my feet.
"Just okay?"
"He's great. Wayne's really good with what he's doing. He's really passionate about
it. Marami akong natutunan sa kanya." I swallowed passed the lump forming in my
throat.
"That young man, he's set to become a great businessman. I can feel it. How's the
new project you're working on together?"
"It's doing good. We've already chosen a location for the bar lounge and we're now
working on the interior."
"Great! I've spoken to him yesterday and requested a meeting with him. Tomorrow
you're going to come with me and we're going to meet him." George said.
"O- okay..." I quietly said.
What George said made my heart skip a beat. I was finally going to see him again.
It had only been three days since we parted but for me it felt like eternity. God
knew how badly I wanted to see him, to hear his voice again, to feel his touch. I'd
been missing him so bad.

My heart pounded against my chest against my chest as we walked into an elegant

restaurant. My eyes instinctively searched for him and I quickly found him. Nakaupo
siyang mag-isa at nakatingin sa amin. The receptionist guided us to the table.
Nag-tama ang tingin namin. I couldn't hide the smile on my face the same time I
felt the tears well the corners of my eyes. But then I noticed something different.
The light I used to see in his eyes everytime he looks at me was gone now. All I
saw was a look of disdain.
My smile disappeared.
He stood up from his seat and shook hands with George.
"Welcome back, Mr. Sullivan."
"Thank you, Wayne. I'm glad to see you again."
Wayne went back to his seat. George pulled a chair for me, right across where Wayne
was sitting, and then he sat next to me. Even though we were just right across from
each other, he never threw a single glance at me. He never even acknowledged my
existence, not unless he had to. Tipid pa siya sa salita kapag ako ang kinakausap
niya.
"Mr. St. Croix, thank you for keeping your promise to take care of my two girls."
George looked at me and smiled. I smiled back at him. "I've heard so many good
things about. You're all what my Therese talks about."
"I miss that little girl." Wayne said.
"You're welcome in our home whenever you wish to visit." Said George. "I hope
you're getting along with Tanya, too."
He just answered with a slight smile and changed the topic to business.
It hurt. Ako ang nagkamali pero masakit pa rin. He used to treat me like I was the
world, now I felt like a piece of trash on the ground. I tried my best to keep my
composure. I kept my emotions in place.
They talked about business and I just sat there, not making a single sound.
Pinakikinggan ko lang ang pinag-uusapan nila habang kumakain kami. Then it was time
to go. Nagpaalam na sa amin si Wayne at parang gusto kong maiyak. George decided we
were going to leave too but he just needed to go to the restroom.
Habang wala si George ay doon ako humabol kay Wayne. I followed him to the parking
lot. Niyakap ko siya mula sa likod at isinubsob ang ulo ko sa balikat niya.
"Wayne, I missed you..." Hindi ko na napigilan ang mapahagulgol.
"Get your hands off me." Madiin na sabi niya at pilit tinanggal ang mga braso kong
nakapulupot sa kanya.
"Wayne, ayaw kong matapos tayo ng ganito. Mahal na mahal kita."
"Well how do you fucking want this to end?" His eyes were burning with fury as he
looked at me. "Gusto mong ikaw ulit ang mang-iwan? Fine. Okay... End it now!"
"No..." I shook my head.
"Come on! Fucking end it now! Para matapos na 'tong kagaguhan na 'to."
"Ayaw ko..." Humihikbing sabi ko.
"You don't want to? Then I fucking will. It's over. Goodbye, Tanya." His eyes were
cold and hard. "Pagod na pagod na ako."
"Wayne... no..."
Lumakad siya paurong sa akin bago tumalikod at natungo sa sasakyan niya. All I
could do was stand there and cry as I watched him go.

Chapter Forty
TANYA'S POV
"Mommy..." I huriedly wiped my tears away when I heard Therese calling me. I
couldn't help but cry as I pack away some of the things he left. Nagmamadali kasi
siyang umalis at marami pa siyang naiwan na gamit. Ang ibang mga damit niya, ang
pabangon niya, lahat ng bagay na magpapaalala sa kanya. "Mommy, what are you doing
with Daddy Wayne's things?"
I swallowed back my tears and tried to compose myself. "I-I need to give his things
back to him."
"Why? Isn't he going to come back?" Therese pouted.
"Hindi na babalik dito si Wayne. He has his own home. Tumira lang siya dito
panandali to help us adjust in our new home." I explained.
"But he promised... he promised he'd make make me a treehouse. He's not done with
it yet."
"Huwag kang mag-alala, sa iba na lang natin ipatatapos ang treehouse mo."
"NO! I don't want anyone else to finish the treehouse! I only want Daddy Wayne!"
She folded her arms over her chest and her eyes began to water with tears
"Therese..." Sinubukan ko siyang hawakan pero mabilis siyang umiwas sa akin.
"Can't you make him go back?" She began to cry and sob.
Tears stung my eyes too as I shook my head. Sana nga ganun kadali lang iyon. God
knew how bad I wanted to be with him. I had never loved another man like I loved
him. Ilang taon akong nangulila sa kanya ngunit sa pangalawang pagkakataon ay
nawala ulit siya sa akin.
I couldn't blame him for getting tired of me. Hindi niya kasalanan na napagod na
siya na maghintay. Maybe I really didn't deserve him. Siguro nga may ibang mas
karapat-dapat sa pagmamahal niya. Mahal na mahal ko si Wayne, alam ko sa sarili ko
iyon. Kahit ilang taon na ang lumipas hindi nagbago iyon. But Therese and George
needed me. Hindi ko silang pwedeng talikuran.
Tumakbong umiiyak palabas si Therese. Lumabas ako para aluhin siya at nakita kong
nakakandong siya kay George at umiiyak.
"Why is my little girl crying? What's the matter?" George asked her.
"I want to see Daddy Wayne..." She sobbed.
Nag-angat ng tingin si George sa akin at nag-tama ang mga mata namin. I could see
the hurt that flashed across his eyes.
"Therese, halika nga dito." I motioned for her to come to me.
"No!" She firmly said and jumped off George's lap and ran to her room.
"She misses Wayne..." George sighed and massaged his temples. "I had never seen her
that upset, Tanya. She found in him the father that I can't be."
Dahan-dahan kong nilapitan si George at tahimik na umupo sa tabi niya. "George, ano
ka ba? Don't say that... She's just having a tantrum."
"But it's true. She's at that age where she needs a father the most and I'm not
there for her."
"She's going to be okay. Someday she'll understand that everything you're doing is
for her."
"For her and for you, Tanya. I want you and Therese to have a good future. I don't
want you to experience again what you went through and I don't want Therese to
experience the same thing." He sighed.
"Hindi mararanasan ni Therese iyon hangga't nandito ako. Mahal ko si Therese. I'll
protect her, I'll give her my life if I have to." I said.
George smiled but his eyes said otherwise. "I know that and she's lucky for having
you. I'm lucky for having you. Thank you for always understanding."
"I know it's hard for you as it is for Therese. Nasa Belgium ang trabaho mo ang...
ang asawa mo. Ayaw ko man ilayo siya pero ito ang mas makakabuti para sa kanya. I
chose to go back here because I want to protect her. I don't want her to grow up
hearing things she shouldn't be hearing. Gusto kong bigyan siya ng normal na buy."
"I want the same thing for the two of you. You know I never want to hide you or
Therese but people are cruel. I don't want to expose you to things that could
possibly hurt or harm you. I just want you girls to know that even though I'm not
always here my love for the both of you only grows stronger. I know I've made a lot
of mistakes in my life, I'm not a good man, but you and Therese are not a part of
those mistakes. You are the most beautiful things that ever happened to me."
"Oh, George." Maluha-luhang sabi ko.
"Hush, my darling. I don't want to see you cry." He pulled me to him and he kissed
me on the forehead.

I had two bites of pancakes and decided I was already full. I sighed and pushed my
plate away. Simula nang mawala si Wayne, I tried to keep the normalcy but it was
tough. Bawat sulok ng bahay na ito naaalala ko siya. This house was built after our
dream. Ito yung bahay na pinangarap namin noon, ito yung bahay na tinirhan niya ng
maikling panahon. When he was living with us, I really felt like we were a real
family. Him, Therese, and I. Ang sarap magkunwari na nabuo namin ang pamilyang
pinangarap namin noon. We were the way before like there were no years between us
but I was slapped back to reality.
Tumayo ako at biglang parang nagdilim ang paningin ko. I held the edge of the table
to balance myself.
"Tanya." Mabilis na tumayo si George. "Hey, are you okay?"
"I-I'm fine... Nahilo lang ako." Mahinang sabi ko ng muli kong mabawi ang balanse
ko.
"You're not fine, darling. Have you seen yourself in the mirror? You look as pale
as a ghost." George looked at me, worried.
"Don't worry about me."
"How can I not worry about you. You're not eating enough. You look ill." He said.
"Pagod lang ako."
"Is there's something you're not telling me? Is something bothering you? You've
been acting different since I got here."
"Okay lang ako. Kulang lang siguro ako sa tulog. Mabuti pa, umupo ka na lang at
tapusin niyo ni Therese ang almusal." I smiled and excused myself to my room. I
laid in bed and tears began to seep from my eyes again. Hindi ako makakain o
makatulog ng maayos simula ng umalis si Wayne. He was all I could think of.
I took a nap and woke up an hour later. After fixing myself, I went out of the room
to see Therese, George, and Wayne in the living room. I instantly stiffened the
moment our gaze met. It felt like my heart wanted to leap out of my chest.
"Mommy, Daddy Wayne's here!" Therese said with a huge smile.
"I invited him over. This little girl wants to see him." George fondly said as he
looked at Therese.
"Daddy Wayne's making a treehouse for me, Papa." She said.
"He is?"
"Mm-hmm! Aren't you, Daddy?"
Wayne smiled at him, shifting his attention from me. "We'll do it some other day.
You want to go out today?"
"Okay. I want to go to the arcade." Excited na sabi ni Therese.
"Okay, we'll go..." He smiled back but his smile disappeared as if he remembered
something. He looked at George. "I mean, if you allow me to take Therese out."
"Of course. I called you over so you can spend some time with her. My daughter has
missed you so much, you know."
"I missed her too." His eyes softened as he looked at the little girl and then he
looked at me. Muling nagtama ang mga mata namin. Biglang tumigas ang ekspresyon sa
mukha niya nang magkatinginan kami at siya ang unang umiwas.
"Papa, let's go to the arcade! You're going to love it there."
"Oh no, I'll just stay here. Your old man needs to rest." Sabi ni George bago
tumingin sa akin. "Why don't you go with them, Tanya?"
"H-huh?" Napakurap ako.
"Go with them." He urged.
"Okay..." Mahinang sabi ko.
Kinuha ko muna si Therese para ayusan at iniwan ang dalawa sa sala. I dressed her
up and got her ready. Pagbalik namin ay nag-uusap at nagtatawanan ang dalawa.
"You three better get going." George said when we got out of Therese's room.
"Are you sure you don't want to go with us, Papa?" Asked Therese.
"As much as I want to, Papa has a lot of work I need to finisih. Come here, just me
a kiss." He motioned for Therese to come to him. Lumapit si Therese sa kanya at
hinalikan siya sa pisngi.
"Be good, okay?"
"Okay! I love you, Papa!" Sabi ng bata.
"I love you too, sweetheart."
Pagkatapos namin magpaalam kay George ay pumunta na agad si Therese kay Wayne. She
grabbed his hand and Wayne stood up. Magkahawak-kamay silang naglakad palabas ng
bahay at sumunod ako sa kanila. Wayne opened the door to the backseat and guided
Therese inside. He then turned his head to me and I was met with a coldest of
stares. I just shrugged and walked, opening the door to the passenger's seat and
sliding in. He was the last to get in.
We were inches away from each other. Just inches away. But it felt like we were a
million miles apart. He kept a distance from me, physically and emotionally. It was
like there was an invisible wall seperating the few inches that was between us.
"Daddy Wayne, are go back to our house?" Tanong ni Therese.
"No, munchkin. I just came here to take you out because I missed you so much."
Tinignan ni Wayne ang bata sa rearview mirror.
"I missed you too, Daddy. Did you miss Mommy, too?" She asked.
Suddenly, there was an uncomfortable dead silence. When he didn't answer I felt a
painful squeeze in my chest. Doesn't he feel anything for me anymore? I turned my
head away and looked out of the window of the car. I didn't want him to see the
tears that was beginning to sting my eyes.
"Have you been taking good care of Clifford and Snow White?" Pag-iiba niya.
"Yeah! I feed them every morning after I wake up and before I go to sleep." Therese
answered. "Why did you leave? Are you really not coming back?"
Wayne let out a deep exhale. "I'll still visit you..."
"But why can't you live with us again? I miss you and Mommy misses you too, don't
you, Mommy?"
"Of course, I do." My voice shook at my own confession. There was no point on
denying. I had missed him so much and I wanted him back.
He took a quick glance at me and turned his attention back to the road. His face
was absolutely void of expression. He had completely shut me off. Para akong hangin
lang kung tratuhin niya ako ngayon.
"See! Bakit ayaw mo pang bumalik?"
"Sometimes missing someone doesn't mean they have to be in your life."
I bit my bottom lip and tightly shut my eyes to keep my tears from falling.
"So you're not coming back?" May halong lungkot sa boses ni Therese.
"Munchkin, it's not that easy. Besides, you have your Papa George now."
"But it's not the same without you..."
"I know but we'll still see each other. I'll visit and take you out every now and
then. How does that sound?" Wayne tried to sound cheerful. Therese answered with a
shrug.
Dinala kami ni Wayne sa arcade at hinayaan ko silang maglaro. I finally got the
chance to be alone with Wayne when Therese decided she wanted to go into the play
center where she can play with the other kids. Adults weren't allowed to go in kaya
naiwan kaming dalawa sa labas habang pinanonood siyang nakikipaglaro.
"Wayne..." I nervously approached him.
"I'm going to get us something to eat." He shrugged dismissively.
"Kausapin mo naman ako. Hindi ko na kayang ganito tayo." Halos nagmamakaawang sabi
ko.
"We have nothing to talk about." Sabi niya habang patuloy sa paglalakad.
Humabol ako sa kanya. "Marami tayong kailangan pag-usapan. Ayaw kong matapos tayo
ng ganito na lang."
"I thought we've already gone through this." He said in a bored tone.
"Please, makinig ka naman sa akin. Ipagtatapat ko naman sa kanya ang tungkol sa
atin..."
He stopped. I thought he would finally agree to talk me but I was met with a
piercing glare. "What more do you fucking want from me, Tanya? Gusto mo ba talagang
pinagmumukha akong gago? Natutuwa ka ba kapag pinaghihintay mo ako sa wala? I'm fed
up with your games, we both know we're too old for this."
"No, Wayne. Mali ka ng iniisip."
"What do you want me to think then? I've loved you with everything I had but you
gave me nothing but false hope. I've let you use me until I was all used up. I
placed myself at your disposal and when things got better for you, when I'm no
longer convenient in your life, you disposed of me like a garbage you couldn't wait
to get rid of."
I shook my head. "Hindi kita ginamit. Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sa'yo, mahal
kita. Pakinggan mo naman ako..."
"Okay. So tell me, what more do you want from me? You already have the old man's
money... I know, is it the sex, Tanya? You want me to be your fucking boytoy?"
Umigkis ang palad ko at lumagapak iyon sa pisngi niya. He looked at me with a shock
expression on his face as he held his cheek. I let out a small gasp when he took me
by my wrist.
"Wayne, ano ba? Saan mo ba ako dadalhin? S-si Therese..." Sinubukan kong kumawala
sa pagkakahawak niya pero hindi niya ako hinayaan. Soon he was dragging me out of
the mall and into the mall's parking lot. He took me to the darkest corner of it at
isinandal niya ako sa malamig na dingding nito.
Right away, his lips crashed against mine. His kisses were brutal and burning. His
tongue hungrily slid into my mouth. I couldn't feel any warmth from it. I felt like
he was punishing me.
"Is this what you want?" His teeth gritted against my lips. His hands started to
wander around my body, touching me in intimate places. His hands were callous where
it had once been kind and gentle. This was not like anything I had experience with
him. Mariin kong pinikit ang mga mata ko ng bumaba ang halik niya sa leeg ko at
nagpatuloy siya sa marahas na paghawak sa katawan ko.
I felt his fingers going under my skirt, trailing along the inside of my leg. I
took in a sharp inhale when he cupped my sex. He pushed my underwear aside and
touched my bare flesh with his finger. Without a warning, he thrust his finger
inside me. I didn't want to but tears just began to sting my eyes. He rammed his
finger in and out of me while he sucked and kissed my neck.
"Wayne, nasasaktan na ako..." Hindi ko na napigilan ang mga luha ko. I was still
dry down there and it felt really uncomfortable. I cried not because of that but
because of the way he was treating me.
Ito ang pangalawang beses na naramdaman kong nabastos niya ako. The first one was
ten years ago inside his car and now this... With the way he kissed and touched me,
I felt like I was nothing more but a piece of meat.
Wayne stopped and looked at me. He cussed under his breath and took a step away
from me.

Chapter Forty One

Tanya's POV
Sinusuklayan ko si Therese habang nilalaro niya ang maynikang binili sa kanya ni
Wayne kanina. She already had her pajamas on and I was just getting her ready for
bed.
Muling bumalik sa isip ko ang nangyari sa parking lot. Tinitigan niya ako na parang
pati siya ay nagulat sa ginawa niya. We didn't utter a single word to each other
after what had happened. He kept his distance from me the whole day.
Hindi ko na nga alam kung ano na ang nangyayari sa amin. Kung hanggang saan ko
dapat ipagpilitan ang sarili ko sa kanya o saan ako dapat huminto. Kung ako lang,
hindi ako mapapagod sa kanya pero siya alam kong pagod na siya. Hindi na tamang
paghintayin ko pa siya. He had enough and I couldn't blame him.
I heard a knock on my door before it opened and George popped his head in. "Hey..."
"Papa George!" Therese jumped out of bed with her doll in her hands. She ran to
him, George caught her in his arms and carried her. "Do you like my new dolly?"
"Your dolly is beautiful. Just like you, my little princess. What did you do? Did
you have fun?" He kissed her on the cheek.
"Yes, Papa. We went to the arcade and I played in the bounce house and then we had
pizza..." Nagkwento si Therese tungkol sa mga ginawa namin ngayon at nang mapagod
ay tumigil na ito. Therese yawned and rested her head on George's shoulder.
He quietly chuckled. "You've had a long day. Come on, I'll tuck you in."
"I still haven't fed Snow White and Clifford."
"Okay, we'll feed them first and then I'll tuck you in."
"Ako na magpapatulog sa kanya." I said.
"I'll handle this. You need to take a rest, sweetheart, you look tired." Lumapit
siya sa akin habang karga si Therese. "Give Mommy a goodnight kiss."
"Mwah!" She leaned over to me and gave me a quick peck on the lips. "Goodnight,
Mommy. I love you."
"I love you, too." I smiled.
"Get some sleep." Marahang sabi ni George bago niya ako hinalikan sa noo.
I nodded my head. Lumabas na si George at Therese at naiwan akong mag-isa sa
kwarto. I let out a deep exhale and got up. Binuksan ko ang drawer sa vanity at
nilabas ang isang singsing mula sa maliit na kahon.
I had in my hand our promise ring. Sampung taon kong iningatan ito. I had kept and
cherished this just like how I had kept and cherished my love for him. Hindi na ako
umasa noon na magkikita pa kami. Inisip ko na kung sakali man na magkita nga kami
may sarili na siyang pamilya.
Just the mere thought of it breaks my heart. Pero sabi ko sa sarili ko noon, kung
magkita nga kami at may pamilya na siya, gusto kong makitang masaya man lang siya
sa buhay niya. I wanted him happy even if it's with someone else. Palagi kong
pinagdadasal noon na kung nasaan man siya, kung anuman ang kinahinatnan ng buhay
niya, sana masaya siya. That was what I wanted most for him, to be happy.
And ironically, I was the one who was causing him pain now. Ilang beses ko na
siyang sinaktan at ayaw ko na na patuloy pa siyang saktan. No matter what I do, I
only end up hurting him. Ayaw kong lalong lumalim ang sugat na ginawa ko. I just
wanted him to be happy.
Pagbukas ko ng pinto ni Therese ay nakita ko si George na natutulog sa tabi ng
armchair sa kama ng bata. Resting on his belly was an opened children's book.
Lumapit ako at maingat na kinuha ang librong iyon at inilapag sa bedside table.
Ganun din ang ginawa ko sa suot niyang salamin.
"Tanya." Nagulat ako ng hawakan ako sa kamay ni George.
I smiled. "Bakit diyan ka natulog? Baka mangawit ka."
"She's growing up too fast and I feel like I'm missing it. " He sighed and averted
his eyes to Therese. "Someday I'm going to be gone and-"
I held his hand and squeezed it. "Don't say that, George."
"I'm an old man, Tanya. Let's face it. Sooner or later, it's going to happen."
"No... Please, George..." I shook my head. "Ayaw kong naririnig yan mula sa'yo."
He softly laid his hand above mine. "Oh sweetheart, if that day comes I can safely
say that I've lived a good life. You and Therese have given me the best days of my
life. You gave me the love I was missing inside." He smiled and then turned his
head to Therese. "And this little girl, I never expected we'd have this little ball
of happiness in our life. At my age, she was a surprise but now I cannot imagine a
life without you and Therese. If it weren't for you I would have given up from the
very start. My two precious girls, you've given me something to live for. Thank
you."
"Salamat din. For giving me the best of everything and loving me."
"Sweetheart, you deserve nothing but the very best of everything."
I remembered the first time I saw George. Nagtatrabaho pa ako sa isang
entertainment club noon sa Japan. Dalawang taon ako din ako doon.
Hindi ko magawang masikmura ang ibinigay sa akin trabaho bilang sexy dancer, isang
araw pa lang sa trabahong iyon ay nagmakaawa na akong umalis, kaya napilitan si
Sasha na bigyan ako ng ibang trabaho. Naging taga-laba ako ng mga damit ng
entertainers, taga-luto nila, taga-linis, lahat ng gawain sa bahay ako ang
gumagawa. Hindi din naging madali ang buhay ko sa Japan.
Nagbago ang buhay ko ng makilala ko siya. He gave me a new start, a chance to make
my life better. Hindi ko sila pwedeng pabayaan ni Therese. Not now, not when he
needed me the most.
About six months ago, George was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Iyon ang isa sa
mga dahilan kung bakit namin napagdesisyunan na bumalik sa Pilipinas. He wants
Therese and I safe and secured if, God forbid, something bad happens to him.
Wayne's POV
My fingers on both hands clenched at the effort not to snatch Tanya away from him.
George said he wanted to check out the bar lounge before it opens and I agreed to
show him around. Other than the minor finishings that are being done, the
completion of the bar lounge was on full swing. After what had happened between
Tanya and I, I didn't expect she would come.
My anger got the best of me. I never meant to hurt her. I just couldn't stand the
thought of her being with him, making love with him in the very same bed we
,countless of times, had made love in. I was angry at the thought of his body being
wrapped around hers, when it was supposed to be me was who was sending her anatomy
into a state of pleasure. I just wanted to be me...
How could she just just throw away everything we had in a matter of moments? She
made a fool out of me for the second time. Just when I started building a future
with her again, she snatched it away from me.
"You did a magnificent job with this." George said as he looked around. "The detils
are works of art. Sophisticated yet very warm and relaxing."
"Tanya mostly took care of the design. You'd have to praise her for that." I
shrugged.
"I see." He nodded his head before turning his attention to her. "You did a great
job, sweetheart. Prachtig."
"Thank you. I wouldn't be able to do it without Mr. St. Croix's help." She quietly
said, avoiding my gaze.
My jaw clenched. Oh, she'd be getting more than a praise from that old man.
"How was she as a partner, Wayne?" He asked.
My brows furrowed, quite shocked. "Sorry?"
"How was she as your business partner?" He chuckled as if it was a joke.
"Tanya did a great job. She's a natural. It was bliss working with her. An absolute
pleasure." One corner of my lips curled into a smirk as I looked at her.
"I'm glad to hear that. I know you'll never have any problems with her." He smiled.
"I can't thank you enough for taking care of my girls. You did more than I was
asking. You went out of your way to check up on the girls and to make sure they're
alright. When Therese talks about you, which she does quite frequently, I hear
nothing but good things. You make my girls happy, Wayne."
"They did the same to me. You're very lucky for having them." I forced a smile. It
was good while it lasted.
"Indeed, I am." George's eyes glowed as she looked at Tanya. "What about you,
Wayne? You're very good with kids, especially with my little Therese, do you have
any plan to have your own kids?"
"Not in the near future. No." I shook my head and sighed heavily. He had no idea
that the woman beside him was the only woman I imagine having a family with.
"Anyway, we're going to have our opening party next week."
I didn't want the conversation to revert and I started talking about the business
again. Even though I wanted to hate George for having the woman I wanted most, I
couldn't. He was a very warm and gentle person. I couldn't blame him for falling
madly in love with Tanya the same way I did. It wasn't his fault. She was
bewitching, like a siren luring a helpless sailor to his death.
After that, I invited them to my office so we could go through the contracts I had
ready for them. I needed to explain to them what would be their shares in profit.
George decided to stay behind and asked Tanya to come with me.
"You can leave now." I said, coldly dismissing her. We just wen through the
contract, our conversation quick and sterile.
"Wayne..."
"I said you can go." I said in a low growl.
"May gusto lang akong ibigay sa'yo." She said and took my hand. She placed
something in my palm, closing it and placing a small kiss on my knuckles. "I'm
sorry, Wayne. Sorry for causing you so much pain. Hindi ko sinasadyang masaktan ka
ulit. Maniwala ka sana sa akin na mahal kita. Sa mga taon na wala ka sa tabi ko,
hindi nawala ang pagmamahal ko sa'yo. Ikaw lang ang lalaking minahal ko."
"Bullshit." I exhaled a soft cuss.
She took in a deep breath. "I'm not going to convince you to believe me. Gusto ko
lang magpasalamat sa'yo. Thank you for the loving me. Sorry naging mahina ako. I
didn't want us to end like this, I want to give it anothery try but it would be
selfish if I ask you to wait around for me. Ayaw kong patuloy kang masaktan dahil
sa akin. You deserve to be happy, Wayne. There's nothing more I want in this world
but to see you happy. Maybe the only word left unsaid is good bye and maybe I have
to say it first before I leave because I never had the chance to say that ten years
ago. Goodbye, Wayne."
Her doe-like eyes watered with tears. She leaned over and kissed me on the lips and
then she turned and walked away.
I watched her leave like I have never had. I looked down and opened my palm to see
the promise ring I had given her ten years ago. Tears suddenly came to my eyes and
dripped down my open palm.
I felt like a part of me was torn away from me. I remembered thinking then that we
were one souls in two bodies, that she was the other half of me. To this day, I
still held the same belief. We're one soul trying to find our way back to each
other. She was a part of me that somehow wandered off a few lifetimes ago. But how
were we supposed to find each other again in the dark and with no sign of hope? I
was always falling, reaching out to her, and she wasn't there.
We could love each other for a thousand years but fate wouldn't allow us to live
happily ever after. We had a thousand lives weighing on our shoulder, waiting for
us to get there. But maybe in this life time we weren't meant to fall back to each
other.
Maybe in the next life, we'd get lucky. I knew I would love her the same like I
always had. In the next life, I just wish we could finally love each other the
right way.

Chapter Forty Two

Tanya's POV
"Ang sarap ng kain mo, ah." Nakangiting sabi ni Edna habang nakasalong-baba sa mesa
at nakatitig sa akin. She invited me over to her house. Nilabas ni George si
Therese at ako lang naman mag-isa sa bahay kaya um-oo na ako. Gusto ko rin naman
makita ang kaibigan ko at ayaw ko na magmukmok sa bahay. I hadn't been myself since
the last conversation I had with Wayne.
Nakilala ko ang two-year-old na baby nila ni Luis na ngayon ay nanonood ng tv
kasama ang Nanay ni Edna sa living room.
"Oo nga eh. Ang sarap kasi nitong daing."
Her brows shot up. "Halata ngang sarap na sarap ka diyan. Pero, friend, dapat
sinabi mo sa akin na tiyan lang pala ng isda ang gusto mo. Nakadalawang daing ka
na, yung tiyan lang kinakain mo."
I chuckled quietly. "Nako, pasensya ka na. Ngayon lang ulit ako ginanahan kumain."
"Okay lang, 'no! Kung gusto mo ipagluluto pa kita."
"Huwag na. Okay na ako dito." I smiled. "Hindi ko nga maintindihan ang nangyayari
sa akin. Ilang araw na akong walang gana kumain, hindi naman sa ayoko, talagang
nag-iba yung panlasa ko. Tapos palagi akong nahihilo. Nagiging antukin din ako."
"Alam na ba ni Wayne yan?" She gave me a meaningful look.
"Ang alin?" Nagtatakang tanong ko. Just hearing his name felt like heavy weight on
my chest.
"Ito naman, friend! Surprise ba yan? Dapat si Wayne ba ang unang makaalam?"
"Huh? Hindi kita maintindihan..."
"Para naman first time mo lang magbuntis, eh may baby Therese na nga kayo. Yan na
yung signs oh! Obvious na obvious." She chuckled. "For sure, matutuwa niyan ang
mag-ama mo!"
I paused and placed a hand on my stomach. Akala ko stress lang ako dahil sa
nangyayari sa amin ni Wayne. It never crossed my mind but just the possiblity of
having Wayne's baby growing inside me made my heart flutter with joy. Hindi naman
malabong mangyari iyon dahil mahigit dalawang buwan din kami nagsama.
"B-buntis ako?"
She smiled. "Ang maganda niyan magpa-check up ka sa doktor para masiguro mo. Teka,
kailan ka ba huling nagkaron?"
Bigla rin sumagi sa isip ko na hindi pa ako dinadatnan simula nang bumalik kami sa
Pilipinas. Masyadong maraming nangyari sa loob ng maikling panahon na nawala na
iyon sa isip ko. "Magdadalawang buwan na..."
"Congrats! Magiging ate na si Therese." Masayang sabi ni Edna.
On my way home, I stopped by a store and bought a pregnancy test kit. I read the
instructions and followed it. Kumakabog ang dibdib ko habang hinihintay ang
resulta. That was the most nerve-wrecking wait I had ever experienced. I checked
the stick and my heart raced a little more when I saw a red line and a faint pink
one next to it.
It had two lines.
I was pregnant with Wayne's child. Hinaplos ko ang tiyan ko. I smiled as tears
blinded my eyes. I felt nothing but immense happiness knowing that I had growing in
me our fruit of love.
I suddenly felt a gaping hole in my chest when I thought of Wayne. Despite feeling
happy, I felt still felt empty. I just wished he was here with me now so I could
share this moment with him.
Kung sakaling nandito nga siya sa tabi ko ano kaya ang magiging reaksyon niya?
Would he be as happy as I was?
This baby came at the most unexpected time, when I was finally ready to set him
free. Now we'd be forever connected by this tiny life inside me and our child would
always be a beautiful reminder of the love we shared together. Dahil sa batang
dinadala ko muling nabuhayan ng loob ang puso ko.
I smiled a bitter smile as I thought of the plans we had together. We planned to
have five children. A small house with a big garden and a treehouse for the kids.
Huli na ba talaga ang lahat para maisakatuparan namin ang mga pangarap na binuo
namin?

Nakikipagkuwentuhan si George kay Therese habang nag-aalmusal kami. I had been

feeling a little faint the moment I woke up. Pinilit ko lang tumayo sa kama kanina
dahil ipaghahanda ko pa sila ng almusal at aayusan ko pa si Therese dahil papasok
ito. I just felt so nauseated.
Bigla akong napatayo mula sa mesa ng maramdaman kong parang tataob ang sikmura ko.
I hurriedly ran to the kitchen sink when I felt something coming up from my
stomach. I prepared myself but nothing came up. I just dry heaved as my stomach
painfully constricted.
"Tanya, what is happening to you?" Lumapit si George at inabutan ako ng isang
basong tubig.
"Thank you." I took the glass from his hand and gulped it down.
"Are you okay, Mommy?" Therese asked, concern in her voice.
I smiled. "Okay lang ako. Tapusin mo na yang kinakain mo para mahatid na kita sa
school."
"Okay..."
"Tanya..." George looked at me with worry on his face. Inipit niya sa likod ng
tainga ko ang ilang hibla ng buhok ko na nakatabing sa mukha ko. "You need to take
care of yourself."
"Huwag mo akong alalahanin." I gave him a reassuring smile.
"You can't tell me not to worry about you. Look at you, you look pale and sick. I
cannot stand seeing you like this."
"Wala 'to. Maybe I'm just a bit stressed out." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kanya.
Hindi ko alam kung paano ko ipaliliwanag kay George ang lahat. Ang tungkol sa amin
ni Wayne at ngayon naman ang pagbubuntis ko. I wanted Wayne to be the first to know
that I was pregnant with his child. Higit sa kanino man siya ang may karapatan na
malaman ito.
"Therese, are you done with your breakfast?" Lumapit ako sa mesa para makaiwas kay
George.
"Almost." She answered.
"Okay. Dalian mo na baka malate ka na naman."
I took Therese to her school after she was done with her breakfast. Umuwi din ako
agad sa bahay pagkahatid ko sa kanya. Getting out of the house and taking a breath
of fresh air made me feel a little better. While I was driving home from Therese's
school, I got a chance to think things through.
Wala naman akong balak itago ang anak namin kay Wayne. I didn't care whatever the
outcome would be. Mamahalin ko pa rin ito dahil ito ang bunga at patunay ng
pagmamahalan namin. Whatever happens, our love will live on through this child.
"Tanya." George was sitting on the armchair in the living room when I walked in.
"Have you taken your medicine?" I asked.
"Can you come and sit with me?" He quietly asked.
Lumapit ako at umupo sa couch sa tabi niya.
He took my hand in his. "Tanya, sweetheart, is there something you want to tell
me?"
I shook my head. "Please, George... I don't want you to worry about me. Masama
sa'yo ang masyadong nag-aalala."
"Is it Wayne's?" He gently asked.
I swallowed. "A-ano'ng ibig mong sabihin?"
"The baby... is it his?" He asked again and sighed. "You don't need to hide
anything from me, Tanya. Therese found a positive pregnancy test in your bathroom,
she brought it to me and asked what it was. I also knew he's been living here with
you and Therese while I was in Belgium."
I bit my bottom lip. "S-sabihin ko rin naman sa'yo ang tungkol sa amin... I'm
sorry."
"Oh sweetheart, don't be sorry. I just don't want you to be too scared to tell me
something." He said with a smile.
"Ayaw ko lang naman na mabigla ka. Ayaw kong bumalik ka na may ibang lalaki na
nakatira dito. Ayaw ko din isipin mo na may ipinalit ako sa pwesto mo bilang ama ni
Therese kasi hindi totoo iyon. You need me and Therese now more than ever at gusto
kong malaman mong hindi kami mawawala sa tabi mo." My voice shook with tears as I
took his hands in mine and squeezed it.
"Why do you always put others first before yourself?" He sighed and shook his head.
"I don't want you to sacrifice your happiness for other people, even for me and
Therese. You need to realize that you deserve to be happy too."
"You've done so much for me, George. Sa ganitong paraan lang ako makakabawi sa
lahat ng nagawa mo sa akin."
"Darling, you don't owe me anything. I gave you what should've been truly yours
from the start. If anything, I'm the one who owes you. I'm trying to make up for
the times I wasn't by your side while you were growing up but I'm still falling
short. You've always been kind and understanding. The world doesn't deserve your
heart. " He looked at me with tears forming in the corners of his eyes and then he
bent down to kiss my hand. "There is nothing more I want than for you to be happy.
You know I've always prayed that you'd find the right man for you. That someday I'd
be walking you down the aisle and it would be one of the proudest days of my life.
Please, make that happen, Tanya."
"George..." Tears flowed heavily down my cheek.
"Do me a favor. Give Therese and the baby the family they both deserve. The family
I never got to give the both of you. I have not a single doubt that Wayne would be
a good father to them. After all, Wayne's blood is still running through Therese's
veins."

The last sentence he said made me pause. It took a while for me to process what he
said. "A-ano'ng ibig mong sabihin?

Chapter Forty Three

"You already know that Therese is the result of an affair I had but I never told
you about her mother. I didn't have a happy marriage with Eleanor. My family
demanded I marry her for business alliances. Our marriage is simply just a business
transaction, to say the least. I was lonely and I needed company. I had a short-
lived affair with one of my employees and got her pregnant.That woman happened to
be Almira St. Croix, Wayne's mother. After giving birth to our daughter, she gave
Therese to me and I never saw her again."
I took in a sharp breath. "Ibig sabihin magkapatid si Wayne at Therese?"
"Yes..." Tiim na sabi ni George.
"And Therese is also my sister..." I quietly said as it slowly sank into me.
Eleanor, George's wife, and the Sullivan's didn't want anything to do with
Therese. Galing sa kilala at prominenteng pamilya si George, the Sullivan's were
the descendants of a nobel family with George's father, my grandfather, being a
Count. Habang nag-aaral ako noon sa Scotland kung saan niya ako dinala, ibinigay
muna sa akin ni George si Therese noong sanggol pa lang siya para pansamantalang
alagaan hanggang sa nahulog na ang loob ko sa bata. Soon, my whole world revolved
around her. She erased the longing and emptiness I felt during that time. I decided
to keep her for good and treat her as my daughter because I knew she needed a
mother who'd love her and provide stability.
"Yes, but you are not related to him in anyway. Therese is the only blood that
links the both of you to each other. You've been nothing but a wonderful mother to
Therese, you took her in and treated her like your real daughter. You gave her
everything you have, you've set aside your whole life for her. But I want you to
have your own family too, Tanya, your own children. Gusto ko pang makilala ang
magiging apo ko sa'yo." He smiled. "All I want is for you to find someone who would
love and take care of you and Therese. Wayne filled the gaps in both your lives
that I couldn't fill. I can see how much he loves the little one and Therese loves
him just as much. She longs for a father figure that I never got to give to the two
of you."
"That's not true. You've given us everything you could give and that's enough for
us."
"Oh but you both deserve better than the life I've given you." Malamlam ang mga
matang sabi niya.
"Alam na ba ni Wayne ang tungkol kay Therese?"
"He doesn't know yet. I only found out through investigating that Almira was
married to a man named Enrico St. Croix, and she had a son with him and that's
Wayne. I knew he was going to that charity party we went to and I wanted to meet
him. I wanted to know what kind of person he is. I wanted to give Therese the
chance to meet her brother so when I found out that he needed someone to invest on
his business, I jumped at the opportunity. I just want someone to look after the
two of you while I'm gone because someday I may not come back. I'm just making sure
that when I leave, you girls are in good hands."
"George, huwag mo nga sabihin yan."
"You and Therese are the only thing that's worth keeping in my life." His eyes
crinkled as he smiled again. "You know, I thank God everyday for paving a way for
us to meet. You brought the happiness back in my life. You're like your mother, my
lovely Esther. I'm glad you had her beautiful heart and her gentleness. Believe it
or not, out of all the woman I've had in my life, Esther is the only one I've ever
truly loved."
I could sense the sincerity and love in his voice. Tears began to film his eyes.
"If I had known that I had gotten her pregnant I would've stayed with her. It was
her who I wanted to marry. I would've given up everything for you and your mother.
I would've given up my family, wealth, my whole life. I went back for her but she
was already gone when I came back."
My parents' love story was a bittersweet one. Nagbago ang buhay ko ng mabasa ko ang
nakasulat sa diary ni Nanay na nadala ko sa Japan. Doon ko nalaman ang sikreto ng
pagkatao ko. Na hindi pala ako totoong anak ni Tatay Paeng. It said in her diary
that she was already pregnant with me when she met him.
Nakilala niya si George Sullivan noong nagtatrabaho siyang waitress sa maliit na
restaurant ng tiyahin niya sa Cebu, naging regular na costumer ito at kahit dayuhan
ito ay nakapalagayan niya ng loob. Hindi nagtagal ay nahulog na din ang loob niya
at nagka-relasyon sila ni George. Umuuwi si George sa Belgium pero binabalikan din
siya nito. Isang araw, nalaman niyang buntis na pala siya sa akin. Nakasulat sa
diary ni Nanay na wala siyang kahit katiting na pagsisisi ng malaman niya iyon at
minahal niya na ako nasa sinapupunan pa lang ako. She was so excited to tell
George. Hinintay niyang bumalik ito pero mag-lilimang buwan na siyang nagdadalang-
tao ay wala pa rin siyang naririnig mula rito. Nakatira lang siya sa bahay ng tiya
niya at ayaw niyang bigyan ng kahihiyan ang pamilya niya dahil disgrasyad siya kaya
napagdesisyunan niyang lumuwas ng Maynila.
Doon niya nakilala si Tatay Paeng. Nakatira ito sa katabing pinto ng inuupahan
niyang kwarto. Naging mabuti si Tatay sa kanya. Nagbubuntis pa lang daw siya sa
akin ay si Tatay na ang nag-aalaga sa kanya. Alam niyang may gusto na sa kanya si
Tatay noon pero hindi niya ito pinapansin dahil nadala na siya sa lalaki. Sa tuwing
uuwi siya mula sa pinagtatrabahuhan niyang factory noon ay parating may iniiwan
itong pagkain sa labas ng pinto niya. Si Tatay ang nag-aalala sa kanya tuwing nag-
oovertime siya sa pinagtatrabahuhan niyang factory dahil ayaw nitong napapagod siya
lalo na at buntis pa siya. Si Tatay din ang tumulong sa kanya noong manganganak na
siya, ito ang nagtakbo sa kanya sa ospital at ito rin ang nasa tabi niya noong
nanganak siya sa akin. Siya din ang unang kumarga sa akin pagkapanganak. Noong
hindi pa nakakabalik sa pagtatahi sa factory si Nanay ay si Tatay ang bumili ng
lahat ng kailangan namin. Mula sa gatas hanggang sa diaper ko. Kahit man daw
nahihiya siya ay hindi na siya makatanggi dahil ako inaalala niya. Nangako siya kay
Tatay na babayaran ang lahat ng nagastos sa akin kapag nakabalik siya sa trabaho
pero tumanggi ito dahil gusto niya lang daw makatulong sa amin. Nakita niya ang
pagmamalasakit ni Tatay hindi lang sa kanya kundi sa akin din. Nang magdadalawang
taon gulang na ako doon pa lang daw niya sinagot si Tatay at sinabay nila ang kasal
nila sa birthday ko noong magtatlong taon ako. Tinrato ako ni Tatay na parang tunay
na anak at kahit kailan hindi ko naramdaman na iba ako sa kanya.
Agad kong hinanap si George ng malaman ko iyon, nagbaka sakali akong may pamilya pa
ako. Tinulungan ako ng mga kaibigan ko sa Japan hanggang sa ma-contact namin si
George. Agad niya naman akong pinuntahan ng mabanggit ko sa kanya si Nanay. The
first time I saw him, there was never a doubt in my heart that he was my father. We
looked so alike. I was sure he felt that way too.
He took me with him and introduced me to his family. Majority of them didn't accept
me and I received negative attention from the people around us. His family never
even allowed me to call him my father. Napagdesisyunan ni George na dalhin ako sa
Scotland dahil gusto niya akong magkaron ng normal na buhay at makatapos ng pag-
aaral.
"I hope your mother found it in your heart to forgive me before she passed away."
George let out a deep exhale.
"Alam ko, kahit hindi niya na sabi noon, na wala siyang sama ng loob sa'yo."
"I hope so, my darling." He smiled a pained smile. "Does Wayne already know about
the baby?"
I slowly shook my head. I bit my bottom lip as tears began to burn my eyes again.
"There's something you need to know. Wayne and I knew each other long before the
charity party. He was my first boyfriend. Siya lang din ang tanging lalaking
minahal ko. Iniwan ko siya noon, natakot kasi ako sa nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.
I was so afraid that one day I'm going to lose him and I'd be left with nothing so
I left him. We were given a second chance and for the second time, I lost him
again."
"Oh sweetheart." He took my hand and fondly kissed it. "What happened?"
"I made him leave because you were coming back. Ni ayaw niya na akong makausap
ngayon."
"Do you want me to talk to him?" He asked, concerned.
"No... gusto ko ako ang magsabi sa kanya. I want to be the one to tell him about
our baby."
"Promise me that you'd give Therese and the baby a complete family. You and the
kids deserve it. Promise me you'd never let what happened to me and your mother
happen to you and Wayne."
"I promise..."
Wayne's POV
Tonight was the club's grand opening party. I invited a few close friends,
investors, and a couple of clients. I also had with me, Karen, my date. She was a
politician's daughter and one of my past hook ups. I knew Tanya and George would be
there and I didn't want to look like a pitiful fool who couldn't get over her.
"You look so handsome." Karen said in a low husky voice as she played with my tie.
She tiptoed to give me a kiss but I turned my head away.
"Wayne?" She looked at me rather confused.
My lips curled into a charming smile. "Save it for later."
I couldn't get myself to want another woman after Tanya. Nothing could come close
to being able to compare to the feeling she made me feel. Once you've had the taste
of heaven, everything else pales in comparison.
"Wayne!" My head turned and I saw George walking towards to where we were standing.
My eyes instantly averted to Tanya, her arms wrapped around George's. I felt a
surge of jealousy seeing them together but my anger melted into a puddle of longing
when she smiled as it reminded me why I fell in love with her over and over again.
The grey evening dress she wore accentured her figure. She was breathtakingly
beautiful as ever with a soft smile upon her gentle face.
"George." I said with a nod, acknowledging his presence. I looked at Tanya and
noticed that her eyes were fixed on Karen. Her smile disappeared and was replaced
by a stern downturn of the mouth. I couldn't help smiling to myself when I caught
her reaction. "Tanya. Good to see you."
"Who's this beauty your with?" Asked George.
"Hi, I'm Karen. Wayne's date." She held her hand out for a handshake.
"Nice to meet you Karen." George took it and after shaking her hand, he looked at
me unsmiling. "Are you friends or is there something more going on here?
"George..." Tanya softly said as she squeezed his arm.
He suddenly let out a chuckle but with no humor in it. "Forgive me for prying into
your personal affairs. Where are my manners?"
"Oh, that's okay! Wayne and I are definitely more than friends." Karen giggled.
"I see..." George nodded his head with a slight smile then he turned his head to
Tany. "Darling, do you want to sit down?"
Tanya nodded her head. I guided then to their designated seats, we sat together in
one table. The guests started coming in and everyone was having a fine evening.
My attention was fixed entirely on Tanya. Looking at her now, I knew that I would
always love her even if I didn't want to. The wind would always carry the dream of
the life we should've had together. When the air brushed against me, taunting and
haunting me into nostalgic madness , all my progress in forgetting her were
replaced with the memories of the times I believed that we were meant to stretch on
to eternity rather than just for the sunrise. I had to accept that I couldn't love
her anymore, all I could do now was to love the memory of her.
George took Tanya's hand and I quietly watched, may jaw clenching in contained
anger, as he lead her to the dance floor. They were slow dancing.
"Wayne, come on. I want to dance." Karen pulled me from my seat. We danced but my
eyes and mind were still on George and Tanya who were just a few steps away from
us.
"Excuse me, may I have the pleasure to dance with this lovely lady?" George asked
and Karen and I broke apart.
"Sure. If she wants..." I shrugged.
"It would be a pleasure to dance with you." Karen answered. Despite his age, George
was still a handsome and well-buit. It wouldn't find it surprising to know that
young women are still taking a liking to him. My eyes narrowed at Tanya. It made me
wonder if she had genuinely fallen for her or was she just after his money?
I was ready to leave the dance floor when George handed me Tanya. I couldn't refuse
even when my mind told me to. My arms automatically wrapped around her tiny waist
and her arms encircled around my neck. The warmth of her skin agains mine instantly
ignited a fire that burned through my soul. But she was a poison to me. She made me
taste a small piece of heaven and dropped me back to hell again
"Wayne, kailangan natin mag-usap." She softly spoke.
"I don't think we have anything to talk about." I coldly said.
"Marami tayong kailangan pag-usapan... We need to talk about us..."
"So are you changing your mind again? I thought the last time was goodbye? I'm sick
and tired of your games, Tanya. Hindi pa ba sapat sa'yo ang paglaruan ako? Stop
making a fool out of me over and over again." I growled. It felt as if she was
poking on an already painfully open wound.
"Makinig ka naman sa akin, Wayne... Just this once listen to me." Her eyes begged
me.
"We are getting nowhere." I exhaled. I could feel myself softening again when I
shouldn't be. I was afraid I'd take her back again like I did before. Like she
hadn't torn me from the inside out. I couldn't let that happen again.
She had claimed a thousand times that she loves me and I believed each time. But
now it was different. I knew better now than to believe. If she really did love me
then maybe she didn't love me enough because you don't give up on someone you love
even if the universe told you so. I knew because I didn't give up on her, not until
now...
I gently pried her arms away from me and walked away. I went to the bar and asked
for a glass of Cognac. I tried to wash away the pain in my chest with alcohol.
They say pain is good. It let's you know where it needs healing but what if the
very same cause of your pain was then only one who could heal it?
"I'm exhausted. I need to go home. An old man like me can't take staying up this
late. Some of the guests are already besides, I'm not needed here." George said.
"Bakit hindi mo naman agad sinabi? Halika na, umuwi na tayo." Said Tanya.
"Oh no, sweetheart, you're staying here with Wayne..." He said. "Wayne will you be
kind enough to show her around, introduce her to your clients and investors. You'll
be working together so you need to familiarize her with running this business."
I quietly nodded my head.
"Karen, my dear, why don't we just leave them alone? I don't think Wayne will be
able to tend to you. They've got work that needs to be donez Let's not bother
them."
"But..." Karen wanted to protest.
"I will have my chaffeur take you home." George urged and then he looked at me.
"You don't need to worry about Karen, 'll take care of your date. Be a gentleman
and drop my Tanya off after the party."
"Go ahead. I'll call you later." I nodded my head at Karen.
She sighed and slumped her shoulders like a disappointed kid.

Chapter Forty Four

Tanya followed behind me as I strode to my car. I wanted her to know that I didn't
want to be anywhere near her, that her once calming company had become odious to
me. Whenever Tanya was around, I had to put the wall back up to protect myself. To
protect what was left of the heart that she destroyed. I had given up. I'd grieved
over her, mourned, I had accepted defeat. I had accepted that I couldn't have her
now in this lifetime.
I stopped in front of my car and pressed the open button on my car remote.
"Get in." I said with a flat tone.
She opened the door to the passenger's side and slipped in. I got in the car and
closed the door with a loud slam that made her jerk in surprise. I started the car
and drove off as fast as I could.
"Dahan-dahan naman, Wayne." She spoke in a quiet voice.
"I want to get this over with as quick as I could. I want you out of my car and out
of my goddamn life."
"That's not possible..." Tanya whispered.
"And why is that?" I roared.
"Pwede bang mag-usap naman tayo ng maayos? Hindi yung ganito. Hindi yung galit ka
sa akin..."
"What is there to talk about? Everything was clear to me the moment you told me to
move out."
"Makinig ka muna sa akin, Wayne. Please, just this once... kailangan mong malaman
ito."
My phone suddenly rang. I picked the phone up with my free hand as the other one
controlled the steering wheel. Tristan's name registered on the screen. My forehead
crinkled.
Curious to why he'd be calling me this late at night, I pressed the answer button.
This had to be important.
"Kunin mo yung kaibigan mo dito! Baka mapatay ko pa tong hayop na 'to. Ayaw kong
makulong." His usual cool tone was tight with controlled anger.
"Wait, what is happening there?"
"Just get your ass over to my place and pick Axel up. I swear to God, I might end
up killing him." He said and immediately ended the call.
I took a sharp u-turn and drove to Tristan's condominium. Immediately, I pushed the
door open as soon as I found a place to park my car.
"Dito ka lang. I'll be back." I told Tanya.
I stepped out of the car and hurriedly went inside the building. I was honestly
afraid of what I'd find once I get there. I didn't understand what was happening.
Tristan was never a violent person but while I was talking to him on the phone, it
really sounded like he was ready to kill Axel.
The door to his unit opened at the third ring. Tristan appeared in front of me with
a dark expression on his face.
"What happened?"
"I'm going to get Val. Ikaw na bahala sa gagong yan!" He threw a sideway glare on
Axel who was flattened out on the floor with arms and legs flung wide.
I walked towards him and nudged him with my foot. He didn't make a single movement.
"Is he... is he dead?" My eyes widened.
"He's just drunk. Pero kung hindi mo kukunin yang kaibigan mo dito baka ilibing ko
ng buhay yan." Tristan shrugged.
"What did he do?"
"He fucked my sister, that's what!" He angrily barked.
I just shook my head as I looked down at Axel. He was passed out drunk with black
and blue marks on his face. Looking at him now, I felt sorry for him but at the
same time I think I would laugh at him if he got his dick sliced off. The asshole
just couldn't keep it in his pants. He had it coming. There were thousands of women
out there and he chose to fuck with Valerie.
"Val... Nasaan si Val..." He muttered in slurred, drunken words.
I pulled him up, wrapping one of his arm around my shoulder to support him. He let
out a groan as I drag him out of Tristan's unit. I was out of breath from dragging
his heavy weight when I got to my car and pushed him inside the backseat.
Tanya looked worried. "Ano'ng nangyari sa kanya?"
"He had a little too much to drink." I answered in a cold tone.
I brought Axel to my place and had no choice but to take her with me. After putting
Axel to bed in the guest's room, I went out of the room to find Tanya quietly
sitting on the couch in the living room.
She turned her head to my direction when she heard me closing the door. "Wayne..."

"Iuuwi na kita."
She shook her head. "Ayaw ko pang umuwi. Gusto kong mag-usap tayo."
"Bakit ba ang kulit mo? I'm fucking tired, Tanya."
She got up and cradled my face into her palms. Her eyes watered with tears.
"Please, Wayne... kahit ngayon lang makinig ka naman sa akin."
"I've had enough of your bullshit! Stop this, Tanya..." I almost begged. I could
feel myself melting against the warmth of her touch. "What more do you want from
me? Why can't you just leave me alone?"
"Because I love you. Mahal na mahal kita, Wayne. Ayaw kong mawala ka ulit sa akin."
Her voice shook with tears.
It was as if my arms had minds of their own as they wrapped around her tiny waist.
My lips crashed against hers in a kiss I didn't want to control. She responded to
my kiss with the same intensity, the same hunger. My hand went up to reach for the
zipper on the back of her dress and withing moments, I had managed to remove it and
she let it drop to the floor. She stood in front of me, wearing nothing but ivory
lace underwears that incased her most intimate parts. My hand cupped her breast,
eliciting a quiet moan of pleasure from her. My entire body ached with longing for
her.
I found myself lifting her off the ground and carrying her into my arms, never
breaking our kiss. I carried her to my room and laid her down my body. Her hands
wandered around my body with such familiarity, finally stopping on the button of my
shirt. She played with it a little before unbuttoning them one by one. Tanya pushed
the shirt off me until I was topless.
I unhooked her bra and took it off, breaking away from the kiss to appreciate the
beauty of it. My fingers encircled around it. Her breasts were the perfect, smooth
and round and just filling my hands, with nipples that pebbled with the cool
temperature from the air conditioning.
"Wayne..." She moaned as I gently stroke the very peak of her nipple with my thumb.
I lowered my mouth to her breast and began to suck on it. I was hungry for her, so
desperately hungry. I gave her other breast the same sweet attention. She writhed
moan over and over again.
My hand glided down to her stomach and down to her pussy. I gently ran a finger
over the tiny piece of cloth that covered her hot feminity. I felt her through the
thin cloth, she was already wet for me. Not wanting to waste a single second, I
pulled her lace underwear down and it revealed the hidden part that heightened my
desire. From the fullness of her lips, the perfection of her breasts, the firm skin
on her stomach to her most intimate part... she was God's most perfect creation.
I lightly brushed a finger over her wet folds. She shuddered and moaned, opening
her legs a little wider. "Wayne, please, Wayne..."
I massaged her clit in a circular motion. She moaned even louder. I had already
memorized every corner and nook of her body. I knew where to touch. I knew what
made her crazy. A heat of jealousy burned in my chest when I thought of George
doing the same thing to her, looking at her body and touching her in intimate
places that were only I should be touching.
She gasped in surprise when I harshly yanked her legs apart. I knelt in between
them and positioned myself on her core. I shoved myself inside her as deep and hard
as I could, thrusting every inch of my cock inside her. She yelped.
My mouth lowered to her ear. "No man will know how to pleasure you like I can."
I began to thrust in and out of her. Her warm insides wrapped around me, tightly
embracing me. I clenched my teeth and fucked her faster, the bed shaking along with
my movements and my breath coming in big ragged gasps. Her fingers dug into my
back, clawing at it.
"Wayne..."
I kissed her again, messy and passionate, sucking her sweet tongue into my mouth.
She was mine and nobody could have her the way I had. I wanted to touch her the way
nobody had before. I wanted the feel of my skin to be the feel she could never get
enough of. A feeling she would never be able to forget even when she tries to erase
my touch with someone else's. Tonight she was mine. I didn't care who she had loved
before and who she'd love tomorrow. All I cared about was that she loved me now and
that she would always love and remember me even when we were no longer together.
Her insides clenched around me as I continued to furiously pump in and out. I
pulled away from the kiss and looked at her sweet, angelic face. That face that
could launch a thousand ship. Her eyes were closed as she drowned in exquisite
pleasure.
"Open your eyes, Angel..." I groaned. She did as I told her to do and our eyes
locked. Her doe-like eyes were dark with passion. "Look at me while you come. I
want to watch you."
She buried her face into my chest to muffling her cries of pleasure as she
orgasmed. Her walls tightened around me. I felt her orgasm ripple through me from
my lips to the sole of my feet. It triggered my own climax. I pushed ever inch of
my length in her, hitting her furthermost wall and feeling every part of her. Our
pelvis were touching and every part of her was thrilled to be so close. I spilled
every last drop inside of her.
After a minute, I eased out of her but she hugged me and wrapped her legs around my
waist.
"Please, huwag ka munang umalis. Dito ka lang." She whispered as she clung to me.
"Stay inside me a little longer..."
Still buried inside her, I nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck. I inhaled
her sweet scent. I had always loved the smell of her when she smelt of sex. She was
musk and honey. A few minutes had gone by, her breathing became steady, more
relaxed. She had already fallen asleep.
Knowing that I was too heavy for her, I shifted to my side and cradled her into my
arms. The love was still there but was it enough? The hurt and the pain that she
had caused seemed to big to over come. I sighed and thought to myself how could
something this beautiful bring so much pain. She had moved the deepest parts of me
that I wished she never made me feel. Because at this point, I was drained of
everything I had to give.
Maybe not every love stories end in happily ever after. Maybe ours doesn't need
one. Maybe all we could have was a happily right now and that gets to be enough.
Tanya's POV
Nakapulupot ang bisig niya sa akin nang magising ako. I shifted and turned to face
him and couldn't help but smile as I watched him sleep. His relaxed face was
beautiful in slumber. I missed mornings like this, when I'd wake up with him next
to me.
I brushed my fingers into his hair and pressed a kiss on his lips. Hindi na ako
makapaghintay na sabihin sa kanya ang tungkol sa baby namin. Sigurado akong
matutuwa siya. Wala akong pag-aalinlangan na magiging mabuti siyang ama sa magiging
anak namin. After what had happened last night, I had high hope that we'd be able
to fix our relationship again. Kailangan namin ayusin ito, lalo na ngayon na alam
na ni George ang tungkol sa amin at dinadala ko ang anak niya.
Bumaba ako sa kama at ipinulupot ang kumot sa hubad na katawan ko. I quietly
slipped out of the room, careful not to wake him up. I cleaned up the mess we made
last night. Pinulot ko ang mga damit ko na nagkalat doon at sinuot yun pagkatapos
ay pumunta ako sa kitchen para ipaghanda siya ng almusal. Nagluto ako ng garlic
rice, longganisa na nakita ko sa fridge at nagprito din ako ng itlog. Pagkatapos
kong magluto ay bumalik ako sa kwarto para gisingin siya at ayain na kumain.
"Wayne, gising na..." I softly whispered to his ear.
He answered with an inaudible mutter.
"Magtatanghali na." He said.
"Later." He moaned.
"Gising na. Nagluto na ako ng breakfast natin." Malambing na sabi ko habang
naglalaro ang mga daliri ko sa hubad na dibdib niya.
He grunted.
"Hindi ba sabi ko kagabi may sasabihin ako sa'yong importante?" I nuzzled my nose
against his jaw and gave him sniff kisses. "Gumising ka na."
"Yeah..." Inaantok pa na sabi niya.
"Sige, magshoshower lang ako. Pagtapos ko dapat gising ka na."
"Mmhmm..."
I sighed and headed to the bathroom. I took a shower and dried my body with a
towel. Pinulupot ko ang tuwalya sa katawan ko at lumabas ako ng banyo. Wayne wasn't
in bed anymore. May nakita akong blue striped pajama top na nasa ibabaw ng kama
niya at iyon ang sinuot ko. I didn't have any clean clothes to wear so I decided
that this would do. Malaki at maluwag sa akin iyon, umabot ang lalayan hanggang sa
ibabaw ng tuhod ko. It was a comfortable fit.
Inayos ko muna ang pinaghigaan namin bago ako lumabas sa kwarto. Nagulat ako ng
makita si Wayne na kausap ang kaibigan niyang si Axel. I had completely forgotten
that he was here. I wasn't wearing anything other than Wayne's pajama top so I
quickly went back inside the room.
"Who was that?" I heard Axel's voice from the outside of the room.
"Just some whore." Wayne answered in an apathetic tone.
What I heard him say made my legs go weak. Kinailangan kong umupo sa gilid ng kama
kung hindi ay pakiramdam ko bibigay ang mga tuhod ko. I felt a lump forming in my
throat as I felt tears sting the corners of my eyes.
Nagulat ako ng bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto ilang minuto lang ang nakaraan. Bumungad
sa akin si Wayne na may madilim na ekspresyon sa mukha.
"What are you still doing here?"
"May kailangan kang malaman." Pinahid ko ang nagbabadyang luha sa mga mata ko at
nag-iwas ng tingin sa kanya. I rested my hand over my stomach. "I'm pregnant."
There was only silence. It was a heavy one, full of tension. Napilitan na akong
mag-angat ng tingin sa kanya ng hindi pa siya magsalita makaraan ang ilang minuto.
His face was a little pale.
"Did you hear what I just said? Buntis ako, Wayne!" Mangiyak-ngiyak na sabi ko.
"Kanino?" Matigas ang tonong sabi niya at bumaba ang tingin niya sa tiyan ko.
"Ano'ng kanino?" Namilog ang mga mata ko. I couldn't believe what he just said.
"Kanino pa ba sa tingin mo?"
"You tell me..." One corner of his lips curled into a cruel sneer.
"Wayne, alam mong sayo itong dinadala ko..." My voice was weak and shaky.
"Paano ko naman masisigurong akin yan batang yan? Gusto mong ipaako sa akin ang
anak mo sa ibang lalaki? You think I'm that stupid?"
"Ganon ba kababa ang tingin mo sa akin? Am I really just some whore to you?" Tears
blinded my eyes.
"Ano bang gusto mong isipin ko? I met you through the blue book. You sold yourself
to me and now..." He smirked. "Hindi ko nga alam kung ilang lalaki kaming-"
Gathering all the strength I had, I got up and walked up to him. Umigkis ang palad
ko at dumapo sa pisngi niya.
"Oo, binenta ko nga ang sarili ko sa'yo noon pero alam mong ikaw lang ang lalaki sa
buhay ko. Hindi ko naman ipagpipilitan sa'yo ang anak ko. Hindi kita pipilitin na
panagutan Hindi ako maghahabol sa'yo at lalong hindi ko ipagsisiksikan ang anak ko
sa amang ayaw sa kanya. Gusto ko lang sabihin sa'yo dahil akala ko matutuwa ka... "
I harshly wiped the tears from my cheek. "Huwag ka rin mag-alala, hinding-hindi
malalaman ng anak mo 'to paglaki niya. Our child will never know that you didn't
want him or her."