“Children, Obey Your Parents”

(Ephesians 6:1-3)

Preliminary:

Since we started convening after the lockdown last August of 2020, we also started our series of study on the Book
of Ephesians chapter 5. In that particular chapter we discussed and studied for almost a year everything that must be
understood in Ephesians chapter 5. Today, we start a new chapter on Ephesians chapter 6, and I hope we will have
the same excitement to the word of God as we were excited to listen for almost a year on Ephesians 5. As a review:

1. Ephesians 5:1 – we are commanded to be “imitators of God”

2. V.2 – walk in Love..
3. V. 3-6 – be not deceived .
4. V. 7-10 walk in the Light.
5. V. 10-11 – expose the works of darkness and be partaker of it.
6. V. 11-20 – be careful how you walk
7. V. 18-20 – be filled with the Spirit,
8. V. 21 – so, by being filled with the Spirit/spiritually mature, ‘submit to one another.”
9. V. 22-24 – Spirit filled marriage, “wives submit to your husbands.”
10. V. 25-27 – husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church
11. V. 28-33 the command for husbands to love your wife.

And now we start chapter 6 as a direct command for children, “Children, Obey Your Parents. It all starts in the
home as they say that children learn to honor their father and mother. This is what the Apostle teaches here in
Ephesians 6, and his teaching is rooted in God’s law. Children are to learn not covet (but to be content), to not lie
(but to promote the truth), to not steal (but to labor with their own hands doing honest work so that they may
have something to share with those in need), to not commit adultery (but to be faithful to the marriage, and to all
other covenants), to not murder with hatred in the heart (but to love from the heart), and to honor authority
wherever it exists — this they are to learn in the home by first honoring their father and their mother. It all starts
in the home. The home is the place where Christian children are to learn to keep the first table of the law (which
has to do with the proper love and worship of God), and where all children are to learn to keep the second table
of the law (which has to do with the proper love and treatment of fellow human beings). It all starts in the home,
for the first and principle commandment of that second table of the law is in fact, “honor your father and your
mother.”

Paul, remember, is addressing life within the Christian home. He is applying the wonderful and rich truths that he
had established earlier in his epistle to family relationship. In 4:1-5:21 his focus was upon life within the church,
maturity among the members of the church. There he exhorted us to walk worthy as the people of God in this world
by preserving unity, pursing holiness and “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21,
ESV). But in Ephesians 5:22 and following the focus is upon the home, or the Christian family. Wives are to submit
to their own husbands, as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22, ESV) and we studied this for almost 3 months. “Husbands are
to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her….” (Ephesians 5:25, ESV) that we studied
for almost 6 months. And now we hear Paul say, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right”
(Ephesians 6:1, ESV).

The focus is upon family life. But let us not forget that what happens in the family will have profound impact upon
the church and upon society. This is why I have said, it all starts in the home.

I. The Commandment For Children

The command that the Apostle issues is very straight forward: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord…”
(Ephesians 6:1, ESV).
Children are addressed by the Apostle directly. This fact is easy to overlook, but it is very significant. We are to
remember that Paul wrote this letter to the church in Ephesus. This letter was to be read aloud to the church. And
Paul’s assumption was that children would be present to hear the reading of his letter, for he addresses them,
saying, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord…”

Yes, the Apostle’s expectation was that children — even small children — would be present in the Christian
assembly to hear his letter read. This has been the practice of the church throughout church history. Children — even
small children — would sit in the assembly with their parents. They would grow up under the ministry of the word.
They would learn to worship and to pray alongside their parents. That is why we discourage those that take the
children apart from public worship/assembly and have a worship of their own, that seemingly teaches children to
have a different worship apart from their parents. The effects later will be devastating. Many children leave the
church when they reach adulthood in part because they were not truly raised in the church. They probably didn’t
separate from their parental home, but in church life they already made a lot of excuses to flee from church worship.
As if they’re saying, it’s for adults, married couples, or parents only worship. I already graduated a long time ago in
children’s worship. But Paul, when writing to the church in Ephesus, addressed the children directly, saying,
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord… Quoting from one of Paul Washer’s preaching regarding this subject, he
said, ”Parents have not taught their children properly Ephesians 6:1-3 to their children, the reason they do not obey
to be with you in church.” One might say that my son/daughter is not yet a Christian, that is so..” But the real issue
is, they have not understood the command “obey your parents” if they are still living with you, under your care and
yet they defile the command, “Kids, it’s the Lord’s Day tomorrow everyone must be present in church. Do you
think that the Apostle Paul does not know that there are unbelieving children in the church of Ephesus? Of course,
yes, that might probably be one of the reason he wrote these verses. Paul knows that in a child’s depraved heart is a
rebel against God. And as parents we tolerate their rebellion against God by letting them pass by making
“reasonable, pathetic excuse not to obey God by not obeying their parents.”

But, there are factors to be considered why children are struggling to obey their parents. Why do children struggle
obeying their parents? We know primarily is the depravity within them. Aside from the depravity, parents are also to
be blamed for the children’s disobedience:

 Parents that love their children so much to the extent of loving their children’s depravity. Have you
witnessed parents just looking unto their children amidst their depravity? When I was still with modern
evangelical groups, I notice that the most hardheaded children in the church are whose children? The
Pastor’s kids. In the reformed circle, you can’t be a pastor less you manage your wife and your unruly kids.
A pastor friend of mine that has a little boy that grabs his pants during the time his dad would give the
message. Instead of reprimanding the kid, the pastor will just say, “Oh, you’re a good boy, you’re a good
boy, right?” Same kid 20 years later, with big dangling earrings, a drunkard, and the dad the pastor is sent as
an errand boy to buy liquors for him and his friends. He loves his son so much to the extent embracing the
depravity.
 Let us elaborate a bit some more.. during church service/worship, what is the common denominator to pacify
children and teens during worship? The “small idiot box.” The cellphone. The Lord’s Day is not your day,
not your children’s day, it is the Lord’s Day. Many parents are having problems with their kids on when to
halt from Mobile Legends, NBA Live, Facebook, Wattpad, YouTube videos of K-Pops BTS, Black Pink and
sorts during church worship. Worse, parents that say they are having a struggle with their children to stop are
also the ones who practice the same.. (Richmond playing ML, Irene being fascinated by their kids stealing
their phones and unlocking it by themselves (they are really good at it.. at the middle of their kids depravity
the mother will say, “son, you are so cute”, pastor’s wife playing candy crush, deacon’s wife watching
Korean series in the church on a Lord’s day.. the pastor is blind, mute and deaf to rebuke). If the leadership
of the church is like this, even if you preach “Children, obey your parents” a million times, it will hold no
water! Because the leaders of the church PROFANE THE LORD’S DAY by tolerating those who profane
the Lord’s day in their watch. Now, how will the children obey their parents if their parents are the ones who
need to be disciplined first? I remember Deacon Jerry of MCBC when we were there he said, “If you can’t
discipline your children, we will discipline the parents!” Discipline must start at home, starting with parents
in order for children to see the godly example and not the example of lawbreakers. Parents, before saying,
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, Parents, obey the Lord!”
  The frustrated star wanna-bes parents that will never be a star but can be a star at your own realm.. Tik-Tok
and alike. Do you want me to go on? Many parents rebuke their children to refrain from tik-tok, for almost
all the vanities and palatable soft porns of the modern world are there. Later you find out that the parents
themselves are doing Tik-tok? Children with Facebook accounts. You tell children not to lie, for lying is a
sin. How come your kids have Facebook accounts? Who made the account? What is the age requirement?
Parents that are very much fond of their children to the extent of being fond to depravity are encouraging
their kids to be little star wanna bes for the future. As the wise Solomon said, “Vanity, vanity, everything is
vanity.” Parents, you are inconsistent. Very Inconsistent.
 Back in the 90’s as a young convert, we used to evangelize in pubs and bars during breaktime. Was it of
noble intention? Yes. Was it wise? No. Don’t say you stand strong, lest you fall. Question; when you browse
tik-tok, and social media platforms alike, do you see only the good, or in the process majority of the bad? Be
careful not to walk on slippery wet floors. Then explain it to your children right now.. saying, “I’m already
an adult and can balance the right and wrong in tik-tok” as if you’re saying to your kid, “you’re too young to
jump over multiple hurdles of sin, wait til you’re old enough that you could do gymnastics over sin. It is
likely saying, “Son, do not smoke, it is bad for your health, you’re too young to smoke,” while the father
holds a cigarette. Lot’s failure in the Sodom and Gomorrah narrative is his incapability to shield his family
from the trends of that said sinful city.
 In connection to Sodom and Gomorrah, the rise of LGBTQ+ in our time is no different from Lot’s time.
Their so-called advocacy does not only bring confusion to our children on the design of marriage being
Adam and Eve by subscribing to a demonic design of Adam and Steve, Adana and Eve. Movies from
Disney, Hollywood, even children’s stories from the USA, Facebook and other social media platforms are
propagating the corrupt design of marriage. It is a direct attack to God himself by exchanging the truth for a
lie (Romans 1:18-32), an adulterated and abominate version of marriage. That is why Paul in Ephesians 5:22-
33 spent tackling the subject of marriage. An effaced/blurred design of biblical parents will result to an
unclear direction of obedience.
 The rise of women empowerment groups, the love for one’s self or self-love, believe in yourself, etc. The
“nobody can love you more sincere than yourself” mentality. Because nobody can love you more than you
do, at the end, for not to be hurt by people, love yourself. The Bible clearly says to love your neighbor as you
love yourself. Why? Because man loves himself so much already that he forget to love his neighbor. And
these groups encourages “singleness” not “blessed singleness” of the Bible – the Eunuch. They are dedicated
in the service of Lord. So, if you are not a Eunuch, because you can only be called one if your life is
dedicated only in the service of the Lord, the command for you is to marry. Because if you don’t marry that
means you are rebelling against the design for you as a man to be a husband and a father, and for the woman
a wife and a mother for the glory of God. All these and more, damages the design of marriage, parenthood,
and family that confuses and blurs a child’s obedience. Parents, this is a reminder and a rebuke for us. Do we
want our children to be saved? Or do we want our children to follow vanities of this world to be future stars?
Where is the road that lead to both? Where in the book?

Children, please listen carefully. It is so very important for you to be in church. It is important for you to worship
God — to sing to him, to pray to him, and to listen to his word preached. It can be difficult sometimes to understand
everything that is said in the preaching of the Bible. And sometimes it can be hard to focus for such a long time,
especially if you are very young. But it is important that you try. And as you try to listen, and as you try to
understand, you will grow. You will mature. 

And please understand that you are very blessed to have a parent or parents who have faith in Christ. You are very
blessed to be brought up in a Christian home where the good news of Jesus Christ is explained to you and where the
faith is taught. It is a privilege to be raised in the Lord. Our prayer and our expectation is that one day you will make
a profession of faith of your own. Our hope is that you will come to say, “I trust in Christ for the forgiveness of my
sins” and “Jesus is Lord”. And it will be then, when that credible profession of faith is made, that you will be
baptized in water and invited to the Lord’s Table. Until then, your parents will strive to raise you up in the
“discipline and instruction of the Lord”, and you are to honor them by obeying them, for that is what the scripture
says: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord…” 

Children, it is very important for you to obey your parents and to honor them. 
When you obey your parents you are obeying God, for God is the one who has commanded that you honor and obey
them.

God designed men and women to live this way. His design was that children would be born to a mother and father
who are joined together in the covenant of marriage. The child is to grow up in that environment. Let’s pause here
for a while and consider some sub-points on the subject. There the child is to learn many things. The child is to learn
to love God supremely, and to love his or her neighbor as themselves. The child is to learn wisdom. The child is to
learn to honor authority — God’s authority, and the authorities that exist within the world by God’s appointment.
And this the child will learn from the experience of showing honor and offering up obedience to mom and dad.

Children, be careful to honor your parents. Be careful to obey your mom and dad. Do not give in to the temptation to
disrespect them or to disobey them. You are to obey your parents even when you don’t feel like it. You are to obey
your parents even when you think they are wrong. You are to show them honor and respect even when you think
they are being unfair or unreasonable. As the text says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord…”

That phrase in the Lord is very important. Paul assumes that these children to whom he is speaking are being
raised in the Lord — they are being taught the faith and they are hearing the gospel. He probably assumes that many
of them have faith already. And he assumes that the ones who have not yet made a credible profession will do so in
the future. 

By the way parents, I think this should be the attitude that we have towards our children. On the one hand, we know
that they are born into this world, not in Christ, but in Adam. We know that they are born, not into the Covenant of
Grace, but the broken covenant of works. This means that we must be diligent to proclaim the gospel to them, teach
the faith to them, and pray for true repentance and a credible profession. Never-the-less, we must also raise them in
the Lord. I believe that our expectation should be that they will believe upon Christ. Our hope should be that when
asked, when did you first believe? they will respond by saying, I can’t say for sure. I can remember my baptism, but
I cannot remember a time when I did not believe, for I was raised in Christ. Everyone’s testimony is different. Some
will come to faith later in life. We rejoice in that also. But we should seek to raise our children in the Lord. And
when we urge them to obey, we should urge them to obey in Christ — that is to say, for the sake of Christ, and with
the strength that he provides — just as the Apostle does. Though our children are not born into faith, nor into the
Covenant of Grace (in any sense), they are sanctified by the believing parent, for that parent is to “bring them up in
the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4, ESV)

Children, when you obey your parents you are to do it in the Lord. You are to obey them for the sake and with the
strength he provides. Remember that something similar was said to wives concerning their submission to their
husbands: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22, ESV). And something similar
was also said concerning there husbands headship over the wife: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the
church and gave himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25, ESV). And we could even look ahead to consider Paul
instructions to fathers, bondservants and masters. In every instance the command to lead or submit has reference to
Christ the Lord. Fathers are to bring their children up in the Lord. Bondservants are to serve their earthly masters
sincerely as “bondservants of Christ”. And Masters are to rule being ever mindful of the fact that Christ is their
Master.  In each and every instance, then, authority and submission is to offered up as and act of submission to
Christ.

To make it more concrete, children when mom or dad asks you do something, or tells you that you can’t do
something, it is important that you honor and obey them even if you don’t like their decision. You shouldn’t talk
back. You shouldn’t show a fit (neither the toddler kind of fit, nor the teenager kind). Instead you should say, “yes,
mom” or “yes, dad” and then follow that up with obedience and respect. Ultimately you should do this in the Lord
and in service to Christ.  

One last question before moving on to the reason and the result of the command. Is there ever a time when a child
should disobey his or her parents? You might be surprised to hear me say, yes! A child is right to disobey his or her
parents when what the parent commands or forbids is in direct contradiction to what God commands or forbids. I
doubt any of our children will ever experience this, but some children in the world do. To give a rather innocuous
example, if an unbelieving parent were to say to a child who believes, you are not allowed to pray to God or to speak
of Christ to your friends, the child is right to pray and to speak of Christ, for when the two are in conflict we are
bound to obey God and not man. But, even then the child should offer up the righteous disobedience respectfully and
with pure conduct. 

 (Illustration) David Livingstone – Scottish physician, accomplished European scientific investigator,

explorer and a pioneer Christian missionary to Africa. Livingstone is not just famous as an explorer, he is
also an advocate in the establishment of routes for commercial trade and Christian missions in central Africa,
and acclaimed to be “Africa’s greatest missionary”. David Livingstone was named among the 100 Greatest
Britons of the United Kingdom. Livingstone spent most his lifetime in Africa for expedition and
proclamation of the gospel until he died. He died in Africa in1873, his body and journals were returned to
London, to find out that his heart is missing. Livingstone was so dear to the Africans and them to him, that
his loyal attendants removed his heart and buried it under a tree near the spot where he died. As the Africans
said, “his body may be in London, but his heart is in Africa”.
 Parents, if you die today, where would your heart lie? To a place where our Lord Jesus Christ is or to the
place where passions and vanities of this world is? Children, if you die today, where would your heart lie?
May it not be found buried together with the conformities of this world, its temporal comforts and its
foolishness.
 Our children’s hearts are bound to foolishness because of the depravity of sin, that is a given fact (Psalm
51:5). The command is, “Children, obey your parents, not Parents, obey your children!” Parents, we must not
be foolish also to negate our duties and do not lead our own children or other children to the foolish things of
this world (Romans 12:2). Let us be careful to shield our children, our family from the vanities of this world
(1 Peter 1:14) for all these (vanities) will just pass away and what is left are clueless children of ours,
ignorant of what lies ahead after this life. Are we for our children to be aspiring ‘child stars,’ ‘movie stars,’
next ‘Korean sensation,’ or are we for the salvation of their souls? (Proverbs 19:18). Then let us not lead
them to the satisfaction of their flesh; to the trends and fancies of this world (gadgets, expensive toys, the
next Black Pink/BTS/BTS meal, being so hooked, to be ‘star wanna-bes’ in Tik-Tok and Instagram, and to
other social media platforms flaunting the foolish version of their selves). Parents, wake up from your sleep!
With that we are raising conceited, self-centered, narcissistic, disobedient children in rebellion to the Lord.
We are commanded to mortify sin, not loving ang posting the depravity of our children in social media. The
Bible says it will never be and is not cuteness, it will always be called sin! Rather let us lead them in the
counsel of the Lord, to the truths of the word of God and not to the fame of this world.
 Parents, let us raise our children in the Lord. Let us consistently and diligently ‘Preach the Gospel’ to our
children. We are excited to preach the gospel to other people and the world. But when was the last time you
preached the gospel to your children? When was the last serious talk you had with your kids about his future
– his future in Hell not until he repents of his sins and cast his faith upon Christ that died at the Cross of
Calvary to redeem His people? When was the last time you speak to them that they are guilty sinners before
God and the damnation of hell awaits them because of their sins? Are you concerned about your children’s
future? Do you love your children so much? Preach the gospel to them. For all that calls upon the Lord will
not be disappointed, will not be put to shame (Romans 10:11).
 Lastly, children, do you want to be blessed by God? 6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is
right. 2 HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 SO THAT IT MAY
TURN OUT WELL FOR YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.

Children, by your own strengths you cannot do this. You need the grace of God and the working of the Holy
Spirit to enable you to obey this commandment. This is not possible if you are not of Christ. Not until you
surrender your life into Christ by repenting of you sins and casting your faith in Him, on what He did and
accomplished at the cross for those who call upon Him. Call upon Christ, for all who calls upon the name of the
Lord will not be put to shame.

II. The Reason For The Command

Let us now consider the rationale of the Apostle. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right”, he says.
Why should children obey their parents? What is the rationale or reason? The Apostle says they should obey, “for
this is right.” 
And what does  it mean for something to be “right”?

Consider three things: 

One, things are right when they are in accord with the way God designed them to be. God designed the world and all
that is in it to function in a particular way. Things are right when they function according to God’s design. They are
wrong when they out of step with God’s design. As it pertains to the family, God’s design is that wives submit to
their husbands, that husbands loving lead their wives by giving themselves up for them, and that children honor their
parents by obeying them. Things are right when each one is doing their part. Something is wrong when they do not.
The Christian must understand this most foundation truth: in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
And he designed the world in general, and the family in particular, to function in a particular way. We ought to be
eager to do what is right — this is, to live according to God’s design — in the family, and in every other sphere of
life.  

Two, things are right when they are in accord with God’s moral law as revealed in nature. Not only has God
designed the world in a particular way, he has also revealed his moral law to men and women. In fact, the scriptures
are clear that he has written this moral law on man’s heart. Paul teaches this most clearly in Romans chapters 1 and
2. There he speaks of this law that is written upon the heart of every person. And there he speaks of the conscience
that resides within man. The obligation for children to honor and obey their parents is not unique to Christian
children. All children are to honor their parents. This is a part of God’s moral law, written upon the heart of man at
creation. God’s moral (or natural) law reveals what is right. Even the unbeliever who does not have access to the
scriptures has access to this moral law. It is written upon their heart (even though they have suppressed and distorted
it), and it is apparent in the world that God has made (even if they are blind to it). Those who are wise in the world
perceive God’s moral law and strive to keep it. Something is right when it is in accord with God’s moral law as
revealed in nature. 

And three, something is right when it is in accord with God’s moral law as revealed in scripture. Yes, God’s moral is
revealed in nature. It is revealed so clearly that men and women are justly held accountable for breaking it (God will
judge them by this law on the last day). But God’s moral law is revealed much more clearly in the scriptures. In the
scriptures we find the moral law. The ten commands are a summary of it. And in the scriptures we find wisdom.
They tell us how we ought to live with great specificity and clarity. And of course the gospel is also revealed there.
Through we have violated God’s law in thought, word and deed, and though we are deserving of God’s judgment, he
has mercifully provided a Savior, Christ Jesus the Lord. Through faith in him we have the forgivness of sins,
reconciliation with God, and the hope of life eternal, along with many other blessings. But here we are talking about
the law. God’s moral law is revealed in the scriptures clearly and concretely. And in the scriptures the Christian
learns what is right and what is wrong. 

Notice that the Apostle, after commanding children to obey their parents, and after declaring that “this is right”, then
supports his claim that this is right by quoting the fifth of the ten commandments, which says, “Honor your father
and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” I suppose that Paul
could have demonstrated it is right for children to obey their parents by reasoning from nature and appealing to the
natural law. He could have argued that it is good for the children to learn to respect authority, that it is good for
society, and that children obeying their parents within the family has been the custom in all societies from the dawn
of time. But Paul is writing to Christians who believe the scriptures to be the word of God, and so he simply sites the
command of to prove that this is right: “Honor your father and your mother”, the law says. 

Friends, you cannot earn salvation through the keeping of the law. As it pertains to our right standing before God,
the law condemns us, for we have all broken God’s law. We cannot expect to be justified by keeping God’s law, for
we are all transgressors. In this sense, the law is a curse to us. It condemns, it cannot save. 

But let us not forget that law of God is good. Indeed, it is very good provided that we approach it properly. The law
is good in that it shows us our need for a savior. It is used by God to drive sinners to faith in Christ. The gospel is
that Christ keep the law of God for us, and he died in the place off sinners, death being the just penalty for sin. The
forgiveness of sins is received through faith in Christ. But before we can repent and believe, we must recognize our
need for a savior. And we will recognize our need only by considering God’s law as we come to the realization that
we have broken it, and knowing that we stand before God guilty and condemned. In this sense, the law is good. It is
good that we know the truth concerning our sin and guilt, and thus recognize our need. 
And the law is also good in another sense. The moral law of God, revealed in nature generally, and revealed in
scripture specifically and clearly, tells us what is right and what is wrong. Men and women living in this world
struggle to know what is right and wrong. This is due to the corruptions in them, their blindness and hardness of
heart. But the scriptures reveal it clearly.

What should the Christians attitude be towards the law? We must start by confessing that it cannot save. Salvation is
only through faith in Christ who, as the God-man, kept the law on behalf of sinners and bore the curse of the law in
the place of sinners. But on the other hand, the Christian should love and cherish the law of God, for the Spirit of
God uses the law to discipline those God loves, and to guide them in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 

Our attitude towards the law should be the same at the Psalmists as expressed in Psalm 119. There we read, among
other things, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole
heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might
not sin against you. Blessed are you, O LORD; teach me your statutes! With my lips I declare all the rules of your
mouth. In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches. I will meditate on your precepts and fix my
eyes on your ways. I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word. Deal bountifully with your servant,
that I may live and keep your word. Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law. I am a
sojourner on the earth; hide not your commandments from me! My soul is consumed with longing for your rules at
all times. You rebuke the insolent, accursed ones, who wander from your commandments. Take away from me scorn
and contempt, for I have kept your testimonies. Even though princes sit plotting against me, your servant will
meditate on your statutes. Your testimonies are my delight; they are my counselors.” (Psalm 119:9–24, ESV)

Brothers and sisters, may this be your prayer also. May it be true of you that you store up God’s word in your heart,
long to be taught the statutes of the Lord and delight in them as much as in all riches, knowing that by keeping them
you will bring glory to God and find the blessings of life abundant. 

Little ones, it is our prayer that you would learn this truth from a young age. May the Lord bless you with wisdom.
May he use the law to bring you to  faith in Christ. And once in the faith, may the law of God be your delight. I pray
that you soon come to see that living under God’s authority and in obedience to law of God is the very best way to
live. And the very first place that you will learn this is in the home as you learn to obey your parents. This is
right. For the law says, “Honor your father and your mother.”

III. The Result For Obeying The Command

Lastly, let us briefly consider the result of the motive of the Apostle in writing this. After Paul quotes the fifth
commandment, which says, “Honor your father and mother”, he adds the remark, “this is the first commandment
with a promise”, and then continues on with quoting the fifth commandment, which does indeed contain a promise,
saying, “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land” (Ephesians 6:2–3, ESV). Here is a
motive for children to honoring and thus obey their parents: “that it may go well with [them] and that [they] may live
long in the land.”

When Paul says that the fifth commandment is the first commandment with a promise he means two things. 

One, the fifth commandment is the “first commandment” in the sense that it is the leading or principle
commandment in the second table of the law. As you know, the moral law of God is summarized in ten
commandments. And those ten commandments are divided into two sections. The first four commands have to do
with man’s relation to God. The last six have to do with man’s relation to man. And the fifth commandment —
honor your father and mother”, is the first or principle commandment of the second table of the law. As I have said,
learning to love and properly relate to man begins in the home. It is in the home, though obedience to parents, that
children are to learn to keep commandments six through ten from the heart. I think this is what Paul means when he
say that the fifth commandment is the first commandment. It wouldn’t make much sense for him to say that the fifth
commandment is the first commandment to have a promise attached to it, for in fact, it is the only commandment
with a promise. In this case “first” means first in rank or importance. 

Think about that for a moment. If I were to ask, which commandment of the last 6 is of first importance? What do
you suspect most people would say? I suspect they would choose the sixth commandment which is, “you shall not
murder” on the grounds that murder is the most heinous sin forbidden sin the second table of the law. But Paul
identified the fifth as being the first in rank. And in fact, God himself identified the fifth as first I rank when he gave
it the position that he did, as head of the second table of the law. To state the matter differently, I wonder if most
people wouldn’t consider the fifth to be of least importiance.  Murder, adultery, stealing, lying and covetousness —
those are bad sins! But disobedience within the home… what’s the big deal? God’s perspective is the opposite.
Though the sin of murder is heinous, men and women murder from the heart. And it is in the home that heart is to be
trained to love God as supreme and to love others as yourself. It all starts in the home, and so the command to honor
father and mother is given first place.  

And two, Paul then draws our attention to the fact that this first commandment does have a promise attached to it,
namely, ”that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Let me make a few remarks about this
promise. 

Originally, the promise was delivered to Israelite children and so the promise of long life in the land had specific
reference to the land of Canaan. If Israelite children would honor their parents they should expect to have a good and
blessed life in the land of Canaan. 

Two, this promise is to be understood as general precept. Certainly, therefore some in Israel who, although they did
in fact honor their father and mother, experienced difficulty in this life and lived only a short time in the land. This is
the reality of life. Sometimes the righteous suffer while the wicked prosper. The promise concerning a blessed and
long life is to be understood as a general precept. The Proverbs are also to be interpreted in this way. Generally,
those who are diligent in their work prosper, while sluggards come to ruin, but this is not always true. There are
exceptions to the rule. Generally, when parents “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will
not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6, ESV). But this is not always the case. The word “promise” here in Ephesians 6
must be understood in this way as it pertains to life on this earth. Generally, honoring ones’ parents leads to a blessed
and long life in the land, whereas those who are rebellious come to ruin. 

Three, Paul applies this same principle to the New Covenant people of God who do not have a land of their own as it
pertains to the Kingdom of God, but live as exiles and sojourners. The promise is that those who honor their parents
will in general, and in one way or another, be blessed wherever God has planted them in his good providence. 

This promise concerning a blessed life and along life is a motivation for obedience. It is not the only motivation. I’m
not even sure it should be our primary motivation. A child should honor his or her parents being driven, above all
else, by their love for God, their love for their parents, and because it is right. But this is a motivation none-the-less
— those who honor their parents will be blessed as they live on the earth. For those who are in Christ, it will
certainly be true in the world to come. Those who honor their father and mother are storing up treasures in heaven. 

Summary:

Let me make just a few brief suggestions for application by way of conclusion. 

The most obvious is this: Children, it is so very important that you honor and obey your parents. Do this because it is
right. Do this in the Lord, trusting him for your salvation, depending upon him for strength, and for his glory. Honor
and obey your parents even when you don’t feel like it. Honor and obey them even when you disagree with them, or
don’t understand why they are taking the position that they are taking. This is something that young children must
decide to do. Instead of talking back to mom and dad, or throwing a fit when you don’t get what you want, littles
ones should learn to say, “yes, mom” and “yes, dad”. If you are a young child you should decide to always honor
your parents and to obey. And this is also true for older children who are still living at home. You too must decide to
always honor and obey mom and dad, even if you don’t quite understand or agree with their point of view. This is
right. This is pleasing to the Lord. The day will come when you will leave your father and your mother’s house to
form your own. Then the obligation to obey your parents will come to an end. But you will still need to honor them
in the Lord. Think upon these things, children. Ask yourself, do I honor and obey my parents, or am I disrespectful
and disobedient. If you love God and Christ, you should show it by obeying your patents.  

Secondly, I will address the parents. Parents, we must teach our children many things as we prepare them for
adulthood, but one of the most fundamental things we must teach our children is how to respect authority. They will
learn this primarily by learning to honor you, their parent. As they learn to honor and live in obedience to you, they
will also learn how to honor God and those whom God has delegated power within the civil and ecclesiastical
realms. Negatively, if a child does not first learn to honor their parents, they will struggle to honor God and those
who have authority over them in the world, whatever kind of authority that may be. Therefore, parents should not
tolerate willful defiance and disrespect from their children. The scriptures are clear, “Whoever spares the rod hates
his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him” (Proverbs 13:24, ESV). Parents must discipline their
children. And sometimes corporal punishment is appropriate. Corporal punishment must be delivered very carefully
though. Never should parents spank out of anger. Never should parents be overly harsh with their children, doing
physical harm. Never should parents fail to instruct before and after punishment, especially punishment of this kind.
And never should parents fail to reassure their children of their love before and after corporal punishment is
administered. And lastly, parents must choose carefully when to administer corporal punishment. Children should
not be spanked for being children — for being hyper or careless, or for making some other mistake associated with
their immaturity. By I do believe that spankings are in order where there is willful deference and disrespect of the
parent, or some other authority figure. It is imperative that children learn to honor their father and mother. And
corporal punishment does have a way of grabbing the attention and communicating that it is a grave sin to dishonor
the authority that God has placed over them, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in
the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4, ESV).

Thirdly and lastly, I will speak to all Christians saying, as we seek to promote the wellbeing of our society we must
encourage others, even non-believers, to form strong families by appealing to God’s moral law as revealed in nature
and in the Holy Scripture. God’s design is that children would be conceived by a man and a woman devoted to one
another for life in the bonds of marriage. His design is that the man and women would fulfill their commitments to
one another as husband and wife, and that they would fulfill their obligations to the child as mother and father.
Christian parents must be encouraged to love one another in the Lord, and to raise their children in the “discipline
and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4, ESV). This should be our primary concern, for this will also promote the
advancement of the kingdom of God on earth. But if we really care for the wellbeing of society (which we should)
then we will also encourage the formation of healthy families even amongst those who do not believe. Remember,
we must live as salt and light in the world. 

Husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, must not neglect marriage and the family in order to chase after other
pursuits. God instituted marriage and the family in the beginning for the good of society, and also as instruments to
be used for the furtherance of the kingdom of God on the earth. We should certainly seek the wellbeing of our
society and encourage strong families where children will be taught to honor authority and to obey God moral law.
But brethren, it must start in our families. Parents must take seriously the responsibility to raise their children in the
Lord, to teach them God’s law and how to live according to wisdom. And children, you must also do your part:
“obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with
a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land’” (Ephesians 6:1–3, ESV). To obey
by your own mind and strength is hard and near to impossible. We need the grace of Christ, the enabling of the Holy
Spirit to propel our hearts for obedience. And that is only possible if you are in Christ. If you are still not in Christ,
still a rebel before God, you need to repent of your sins and cast your faith upon the Lord Jesus Christ. Believe and
embrace the gospel message, believe in Christ and you will be saved!