Special Synopsis

In-depth Lightning Summary of Basic and Advanced Signs and Signals Based on the New York Times Bestseller
Never Get Angry Again

Body Language

• The person will make little or no eye contact. A person who is lying to you will do
everything to avoid making eye contact.

• Physical expression will be limited, with few arm and hand movements. What arm and
hand movements are present will seem stiff, and mechanical. Hands, arm and legs pull
in toward the body; the individual takes up less space.

• His hand(s) may go up to his face or throat, especially to the mouth. But contact with
his body is limited to these areas. He is also unlikely to touch his chest with an open
hand gesture. He may also touch the nose or scratch behind the ear.

• If he is trying to appear casual and relaxed about his answer, he may shrug a little.

Emotional States: Consistency and Contradiction

• The timing is off between gestures and words. If the facial expression comes after the
verbal statement (“I am so angry with you right now” … pause … and then the angry
expression), it looks false.

• The head moves in a mechanical fashion without regard to emphasis, indicating a

conscious movement.

• Gestures don’t match the verbal message, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”
Hands tightly clenched and a statement of pleasure are not in sync with each other.

• The timing and duration of emotional gestures will seem off. The emotion is delayed
coming on, stays longer than it should, and fades out abruptly.

• Expression will be limited to the mouth area when the person is feigning certain
emotions – happiness, surprise, awe, and so on – rather than the whole face.

Interpersonal Interactions
• When we are wrongfully accused, only a guilty person gets defensive. Someone who is
innocent will usually go on the offensive.

Course Materials Never Be Lied to Again Copyright © 2018 by David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.
• He is reluctant to face his accuser and may turn his head or shift his body away.

• The person who is lying will probably slouch; he is unlikely to stand tall with his arms
out or outstretched.

• There’s movement away from his accuser, possibly in the direction of the exit.

• There will be little or no physical contact during his attempt to convince you.

• He will not point his finger at the person he is trying to convince.

• He may place physical objects (pillow, drinking glass, et cetera) between himself and
his accuser to form a barrier, with a verbal equivalent of “I don’t want to talk about it,”
indicating deception or covert intention.

What Is Said: Actual Verbal Content

• He will use your words to make his point. When asked, “Did you cheat on me?” The
liar answers, “No, I didn’t cheat on you.” In addition, when a suspect uses a contraction
– “It wasn’t me” instead of “It was not me” – statistically, there is a 60% chance he is
truthful.

• He may stonewall, giving an impression that his mind is made up. This is often an
attempt to limit your challenges to his position. If someone says right up front that he
positively won’t budge, it means one thing: He knows he can be swayed. He needs to
tell you this so you won’t ask, because he knows he’ll cave in. The confident person will
use phrases like “I’m sorry, this is pretty much the best we can do.”

• Watch out for the good old Freudian slip.

• He depersonalizes his answer by offering his belief on the subject instead of answering
directly. A liar offers abstract assurances as evidence of his innocence in a specific
instance. Example: “Did you ever cheat on me?” and you hear, “You know I’m against
that sort of thing. I think it morally reprehensible.”

• He will keep adding more information until he’s sure that he has sold you on his story.
The guilty are uncomfortable with silence. He speaks to fill the gap left by the silence.

• He may imply an answer but never state it directly.

Course Materials Never Be Lied to Again Copyright © 2018 by David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.
How Something Is Said

• Deceitful response to questions regarding beliefs and attitudes take longer to think up.
However, how fast does the rest of the sentence follow the initial one-word response?
In truthful statements a fast no or yes is followed quickly by an explanation. If the
person is being deceitful the rest of the sentence may come more slowly because he
needs time to think up an explanation.

• Watch out for reactions that are all out of proportion to the question. May repeat
points that he has already made. May also be reluctant to use words that convey
attachment and ownership or possessiveness (“that car” as opposed to “my car”).

• The person who is lying may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous and
inexpressive voice. When a person is making a truthful statement, he emphasizes the
pronoun as much as or more than the rest of the sentence.

• Words may be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and grammar may be off. In
other words, his sentences will likely be muddled rather than emphasized.

• Statements sound an awful lot like questions, indicating that he’s seeking reassurance.
Voice, head and eyes lift at the end of their statement.

Psychological Profile

• We often see the world as a reflection of ourselves. If you’re being accused of

something, check your accuser’s veracity. Watch out for those people who are always
telling you just how corrupt the rest of the world is. Beware of those asking you if you
believe him. They may respond with, “you don’t believe me, do you?” Most people who
tell the truth expect to be believed.

• Look at whether his focus is internal or external. When a person is confident about
what he’s saying, he’s more interested in your understanding him and less interested in
how he appears to you.

• In a liar’s story, he will usually not give the point of view of a third party. To illustrate
giving a point of view of someone else, “My roommate was so shocked that I would…”

• In relating a story, a liar often leaves out the negative aspects (unless the story is used
to explain way he was delayed or had to cancel plans). The story of a vacation, for

Course Materials Never Be Lied to Again Copyright © 2018 by David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.
example, should have both positive and negative aspects of what happened.

• A liar willingly answers your questions but asks none of his own. For example, during
their first intimate encounter, Randy asks his new girlfriend if she’s ever been tested for
AIDS. She responds with “Oh, yes, certainly,” and continues on a bit about annual
checkups, giving blood, etc. And then nothing! If she was concerned about her health, as
her answer implied, then she would have asked him the same question. The liar is often
unaware that coming across as truthful means both answering and asking questions.

General Indications of Deceit

• When the subject is changed, he’s in a better, more relaxed mood. The guilty wants
the subject changed; the innocent always wants a further exchange of information.

• He does not become indignant when falsely accused. While he is being accused the liar
will remain fairly expressionless. The liar is more concerned with how he is going to
respond than he is with the accusation itself.

• He uses such phrases as “To tell you the truth,” “To be perfectly honest,” and “Why
would I lie to you?”

• He has an answer to your question down pat, such as giving precise detail to an event
occurring two months ago.

• He stalls by asking you to repeat the question or by answering your question with a
question. “Where did you hear that?” “Could you be more specific?” or even repeating
your question back to you, at an attempt at sounding incredulous. For example, “Did I
sell you a puppy with a heart condition? Is that what you’re asking me?”

• What he’s saying sounds implausible, such as “During the past ten years, I have never
used a specific racial epithet.”

• He offers a preamble to his statement starting with “I don’t want you to think that…”
Often that’s exactly what he wants you to think. Whenever someone makes a point of
telling you what they’re not doing, you can be sure it’s exactly what they are doing. Such
as, “Not to hurt your feelings, but…”

• He implies through a form of denial. You hear, “He’s having marital problems, but it

Course Materials Never Be Lied to Again Copyright © 2018 by David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.
has nothing to do with his wife’s new job.” What’s the first thing you ask? “What does
his wife do?” Suddenly you’re in the exact conversation that is “supposed” to have no
bearing on the facts.

• He uses humor or sarcasm to defuse your concerns, rather than responding seriously.

• He offers you a “better” alternative to your request when he is unable to give you
what you originally asked for. Before you accept someone at his word that he has
something better to offer, first see whether he has what you originally asked for. If he
doesn’t, then you shouldn’t believe him.

• All of his facts relating to numbers are the same or multiples of one another. Watch
out when facts, figures, and information have unusual similarities.

• There is evidence of involuntary responses that are anxiety based. Anxiety causes
many things. His breather may appear as a deep, audible inhaling in an attempt to
control his breathing to calm himself. Swallowing becomes difficult; he may clear his
throat. His ability to focus on something is often diminished, unable to pay attention to
what’s going on.

• He uses an obvious fact to support a dubious action. For example, let’s say that a
guard is standing watch over a restricted area. It’s his job to check ID’s of those who
enter. “I’m not sure you have authorization,” he says to a man attempting access. “I’m
not surprised,” answered the man, “only a few people are aware of my clearance level.
My work here is not supposed to be known by everyone.”

• He casually tells you something that deserves more attention.

• He exclaims his displeasure at the actions of another who has done something similar
so that you will not suspect him. For instance, if he is trying to throw you off track of his
embezzlement scheme, he may openly chastise another employee for “borrowing”
some office supplies for personal use at home. Your impression is that he is moral
person who objects to something as minor as stealing office supplies. Certainly he
cannot be responsible for a large-scale embezzlement scheme.

• He may casually tell you something that should deserve more attention. “Oh by the
way, I’ve got to go out of town next weekend on business.” If he doesn’t usually travel

Course Materials Never Be Lied to Again Copyright © 2018 by David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.
for work on the weekends, then you would expect her to make a point of how unusual
the trip is. Her downplaying the trip makes it suspicious. When something out of the
ordinary happens and the person doesn’t draw attention to it, it means that he is trying
to draw attention away from it. Another tactic is running off a long list of items in the
hope that one will remain unnoticed.

Course Materials Never Be Lied to Again Copyright © 2018 by David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.