Run-on Sentences

A run-on sentence, sometimes called a fused sentence, is two or more sentences without punctuation to
separate them. The term is also sometimes applied to a pair of independent clauses separated by only a
comma, although this variation is usually called a comma splice.
Run-on sentences can be corrected, as shown in the following examples, by (1) making two sentences, (2)
joining the two clauses with a semicolon (if they are closely related), (3) joining the two clauses with a
comma and a coordinating conjunction, or (4) subordinating one clause to the other.
. Some
 The client suggested several solutions ^some are impractical.
;
 The client suggested several solutions ^some are impractical.
, but
 The client suggested several solutions ^some are impractical.
, although
 The client suggested several solutions ^some are impractical.

Comma Splice
A comma splice is a grammatical error in which two independent clauses are joined by only a comma.

INCORRECT It was 500 miles to the facility, we arranged to fly.

A comma splice can be corrected in several ways.

1) Substitute a semicolon, a semicolon and a conjunctive adverb, or a comma and a

coordinating conjunction.
 It was 500 miles to the facility; we arranged to fly.
 It was 500 miles to the facility; therefore, we arranged to fly.
 It was 500 miles to the facility, so we arranged to fly.

2) Create two sentences.

 It was 500 miles to the facility. We arranged to fly.

3) Subordinate one clause to the other.

 Because it was 500 miles to the facility, we arranged to fly.
Dangling Modifiers
Phrases that do not clearly and logically refer to the correct noun or pronoun are called dangling
modifiers. Dangling modifiers usually appear at the beginning of a sentence as an introductory phrase.

Dangling While eating lunch, the computer malfunctioned. [Who was eating lunch?]
Correct While I was eating lunch, the computer malfunctioned.

Dangling modifiers can appear at the end of the sentence as well.

Dangling The program gains efficiency by eliminating the superfluous instructions.

[Who eliminates the superfluous instructions?]
Correct The program gains efficiency when you eliminate the superfluous instructions.

To correct a dangling modifier, add the appropriate subject to either the dangling modifier or the main
clause.

DANGLING After finishing the research, the proposal was easy to write.
[The appropriate subject is I, but it is not stated in either the dangling phrase or the main
clause.]

CORRECT After I finished the research, the proposal was easy to write.
[The pronoun I is now the subject of an introductory clause.]

CORRECT After finishing the research, I found the proposal easy to write.
[The pronoun I is now the subject of the main clause.]

Garbled Sentences
A garbled sentence is one that is so tangled with structural and grammatical problems that it cannot be
repaired. Garbled sentences often result from an attempt to squeeze too many ideas into one sentence.

 My job objectives are accomplished by my having a diversified background which enables me to

operate effectively and efficiently, consisting of a degree in computer science, along with twelve
years of experience, including three years in Staff Engineering-Packaging sets a foundation for a
strong background in areas of analyzing problems and assessing economical and reasonable
solutions.

Do not try to patch such a sentence; rather, analyze the ideas it contains, list them in a logical sequence,
and then construct one or more entirely new sentences. An analysis of the preceding example yields the
following five ideas:

 My job requires that I analyze problems to find economical and workable solutions.
  My diversified background helps me accomplish my job.
 I have a computer-science degree.
 I have twelve years of job experience.
 Three of these years have been in Staff Engineering-Packaging.

Using those five ideas—together with parallel structure, sentence variety, subordination, and transition—
the writer might have described the job as follows:

 My job requires that I analyze problems to find economical and workable solutions. Both my
education and experience help me achieve this goal. Specifically, I have a computer-science
degree and twelve years of job experience, three of which have been in the Staff Engineering-
Packaging Department.

Mixed Constructions
A mixed construction is a sentence in which the elements do not sensibly fit together. The problem may
be a grammar error, a logic error, or both.
,
 Because the copier wouldn’t start^ explains why we called a technician.

The original sentence mixes a subordinate clause (Because the copier wouldn’t start) with a verb
(explains) that attempts to incorrectly use the subordinate clause as its subject. The revision correctly uses
the pronoun we as the subject of the main clause.
Affectation
Affectation is the use of language that is more formal, technical, or showy than necessary to communicate
information to the reader. Affectation is a widespread writing problem in the workplace because many
people feel that affectation lends a degree of authority to their writing. In fact, affectation can alienate
customers, clients, and colleagues.
Affected writing forces readers to work harder to understand the writer’s meaning. It typically contains
inappropriate abstract, highly technical, or foreign words and is often liberally sprinkled with trendy
buzzwords.
Note: Jargon and euphemisms can become affectation, especially if their purpose is to hide relevant
facts or give a false impression of competence.
Writers easily slip into affectation through the use of long variants—words created by adding prefixes and
suffixes to simpler words (orientate for orient; utilization for use). Unnecessarily formal words (such as
penultimate for next to last), created words using -ese (such as managementese), and outdated words
(such as aforesaid) can produce affectation. Elegant variation—attempting to avoid repeating a word
within a paragraph by substituting a pretentious synonym—is also a form of affectation. Either repeat the
term or use a pronoun.
and it
 The use of modules in the assembly process has increased production. ^ Modular utilization also
cut costs.

Another type of affectation is gobbledygook, which is wordy, roundabout writing with many legal- and
technical-sounding terms (such as wherein and morphing).

Understanding the possible reasons for affectation is the first step toward avoiding it. The following are
some causes of affectation.
 Impression. Some writers use pretentious language in an attempt to impress the reader with fancy
words instead of evidence and logic.
 Insecurity. Writers who are insecure about their facts, conclusions, or arguments may try to hide
behind a smoke screen of pretentious words.
 Imitation. Perhaps unconsciously, some writers imitate the poor writing they see around them.
 Intimidation. A few writers, consciously or unconsciously, try to intimidate or overwhelm their
readers with words, often to protect themselves from criticism.
 Initiation. Writers who are new to a field often feel that one way to prove their professional
expertise is to use as much technical terminology and jargon as possible.
 Imprecision. Writers who are having trouble being precise sometimes find that an easy solution is
to use a vague, trendy, or pretentious word.

Gobbledygook
Gobbledygook is writing that suffers from an overdose of traits guaranteed to make it stuffy, pretentious,
and wordy. Such traits include the overuse of big and mostly abstract words, affectation (especially
long variants), buzzwords, clichés, euphemisms, inappropriate jargon, stacked modifiers, and vague
words. Gobbledygook is writing that attempts to sound official (officialese), legal (legalese), or scientific;
it tries to make a “natural elevation of the geosphere’s outer crust” out of a molehill. Consider the
following statement from an auto-repair release form.
LEGALESE I hereby authorize the above repair work to be done along with the necessary material
and hereby grant you and/or your employees permission to operate the car or truck herein
described on streets, highways, or elsewhere for the purpose of testing and/or inspection.
An express mechanic’s lien is hereby acknowledged on above car or truck to secure the
amount of repairs thereto.
DIRECT You have my permission to do the repair work listed on this work order and to use the
necessary material. You may drive my vehicle to test its performance. I understand that
you will keep my vehicle until I have paid for all repairs.