1

00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:04,613

2
00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:07,538
[cheers and applause]

3
00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:17,823
Ah!
- Ah!

4
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,551
What are you doing here?

5
00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:22,287
- Setting up for a romantic
evening with my boyfriend.

6
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,493
I would've done it at my place,
but rich people

7
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,495
have such nice lighting.
What are you doing here?

8
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,198
- I'm the rich person
with the nice lighting

9
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,730
that owns this apartment.

10
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:33,625
Wait. You and Beau,
that's tonight?

11
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,437
Don't look at this.

12
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:38,909
- What is that
giant, gold monstrosity?

13
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:42,579
- It's a gift I made for you.
14
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:46,310
- Oh, I love it.

15
00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:50,377
- Did I miss anything?
[applause]

16
00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:52,348
Oh, you gave it
to her without me?

17
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:55,756
- Yeah, and her reaction
was priceless.

18
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,089
- Just a little something
for you and Beau

19
00:00:58,126 --> 00:01:02,496
as you begin this beautiful
journey together as partners.

20
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:07,270
We thought you could stand on
either side of it and be all--

21
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:09,471
- Thank you.

22
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:13,273
Wow. I can't believe Beau
is going to propose

23
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:15,507
that we do a channel together.

24
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:17,983
After years of doing
"iCarly" with Sam

25
00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:20,351
and then hosting Italian QVC

26
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:22,421
and then my brief stint
in college radio,

27
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:25,350
I'm finally going to be back
online where I belong,

28
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:28,356
with a partner
who I love and trust.

29
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:29,889
Now, where should
I put my phone,

30
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,993
so I can secretly record him?

31
00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:33,955
- Now that's true love.

32
00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:37,604
- I told all the "iCarly" fans
to tune in to my livestream.

33
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:41,141
Beau asking me to do a channel
together, that's good content.

34
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,669
Why waste it?

35
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,073
- Couldn't agree more,
which is why after Spencer

36
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,605
designed this sculpture,

37
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,980
I outfitted it with a sneaky,
little spot for a camera.

38
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,551
Mm...

39
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,050
boop.

40
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:56,751
- Freddie, this is why we
stayed friends all these years,

41
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,894
you creepy genius.

42
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,719
- I actually did the whole
making it part,

43
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:04,934
so, you know,
who's the real creepy genius?

44
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,528
- This is so exciting.

45
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,230
I've been wanting to start up
my own channel again,

46
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,632
but I didn't want
to do it by myself.

47
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,374
You know what? He's probably
going to be here any minute,

48
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,340
and I love you guys so much,
but get.

49
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,210
Hey, everyone. I'm back.
I know it's been a while,

50
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:26,454
but you guys are in
for something really exciting.

51
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,850
- Carly?
- Beau.
52
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,481
- Hey.

53
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,787
Cool shape.

54
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:35,859
- Yeah, it's an and symbol
for Carly and Beau.

55
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,259
Doesn't it make you

56
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,761
just want to stand on
either side of it be all--

57
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,863
- Sure, kind of.

58
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:45,365
But for now, let's sit
and be all--

59
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,898
Carly,
we do a lot of things together.

60
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:53,067
- I know. It's so great.
- We date.

61
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:54,706
We share a Spotify account.

62
00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:57,382
You came with me
to the podiatrist.

63
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,251
- I just get you.

64
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,380
- So I think it's only natural
we--
65
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,845
- Start a channel together.
- Need some time apart.

66
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:09,364
Wait. What?
Time apart? Why?

67
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:10,820
- We gotta get the phone.

68
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,028
- You came with me
to the podiatrist.

69
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,300
- Well, yeah, but that's just
because your podiatrist is next

70
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:17,029
to the good dumpling place.

71
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,904
- Could've done takeout.

72
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:22,242
- They're not as good
at room temperature.

73
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:25,010
Deep down, you know that.

74
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,805
- I love you.

75
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:31,982
I just need a little space,
just for a minute.

76
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:36,122
- Oh, space, yeah.
I'm fine with space.

77
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:40,049
I love space. It's really nice
because it teaches you

78
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:43,917
to appreciate what you had
before you took all the space.

79
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:47,697
So how long are we
talking here, like, a week?

80
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,998
- Maybe a little longer.
- Two?

81
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:56,204
You're just dumping me,
aren't you?

82
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,206
- Yah! Yah!

83
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:06,175
- Now I have a broken heart
and a broken phone.

84
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:10,783
Awesome. It's still working
and live-streaming everything.

85
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:18,261
- I think people will see
that it was a mutual thing.

86
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:20,992
[upbeat music]

87
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:23,958
*

88
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,167
- * I know you see

89
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,639
* Somehow the world
will change for me *

90
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:32,869
[together]
* And be so wonderful

91
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:35,276
- * Live life, breathe air

92
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,809
* I know somehow
we're gonna get there *

93
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:42,375
[together]
* And feel so wonderful

94
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:46,016
* It's all for real

95
00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:48,293
- * I'm telling you
just how I feel *

96
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:52,132
* So wake up the members
of my nation *

97
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,929
[together]
* It's your time to be

98
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,901
- * There's no chance
unless you take one *

99
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,630
* And the time to see
the brighter side *

100
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,837
* Of every situation

101
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,510
* Some things
are meant to be *

102
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:08,178
* So give me your best
and leave the rest to me *

103
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,638
* Leave it all to me

104
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:12,578
* Leave it all
to me *

105
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,653
* Just leave it all to me

106
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,619
[upbeat music]

107
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,794
*

108
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:31,771
- [sighs]

109
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,169
Is it that time of day where

110
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,970
you drag your depression
down the hall

111
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:38,272
from Spencer's apartment
to ours?

112
00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:40,665
- He's getting ready
for a sculpture premier party.

113
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:41,938
I just want to stay here

114
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,575
and re-watch every episode
of "Law & Order."

115
00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:47,382
The murders will cheer me up.
116
00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:50,445
- We're going to that party.
- [groans]

117
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,694
- Come on.
- Harper.

118
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,220
You don't even like Spencer.

119
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:55,494
- Yes, I do.

120
00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:56,923
Why am I lying?
The man is a ding-dong.

121
00:05:56,957 --> 00:06:01,527
But I do find the dumber
the man, the better the party.

122
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,202
- Of course you want to go.

123
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,930
For you, parties are a
never-ending buffet of people

124
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,636
who want to sleep with you.

125
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,838
Cute guys, hot girls,

126
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,940
ridiculously gorgeous,
non-binary lawyers

127
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,942
who get your name tattooed
on their thigh.

128
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:16,114
- That only happened twice.
129
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,683
- Me, on the other hand,

130
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,311
I feel like my face is now
physically incapable

131
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:21,947
of smiling.

132
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:26,322
- Carly, look--
[phone ringing]

133
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:28,763
- [gasps]

134
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,119
- Beau's calling?

135
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,527
- I can't talk to him.

136
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,129
I'm not dating.
I'm not making videos.

137
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,860
I'm too embarrassed
about my life.

138
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:38,265
- You should be. Your legs look
like Eugene Levy's eyebrows.

139
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,898
- You said that was feminist.

140
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:43,973
- Carly, look,
I know this is hard.

141
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,544
When my family lost
all their money,
142
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:46,773
all I wanted to do was curl up

143
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,177
on the deck
of our 50-foot sailboat

144
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:52,378
and cry, but I didn't.
You know why?

145
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,782
- Because your dad sunk it
for insurance.

146
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:58,645
- And because I decided to look
at it as an opportunity.

147
00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:00,146
I picked myself up.

148
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,787
I applied for every job
I could think of,

149
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,263
and they all said
I was unqualified.

150
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:08,602
Then I got a minimum-wage job
as Skybucks,

151
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:11,999
and I'm still there
four years later.

152
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,642
- It had a happy-ending tone,
but--

153
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,498
- Because it is happy.

154
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:19,037
Accessorizing that
tacky-ass apron made me realize

155
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,812
that I want to be a stylist,

156
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,641
and now I have a job
and a dream

157
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:26,247
and all
the half-and-half I can drink.

158
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:30,419
- You're lactose intolerant.
- My body, my choice.

159
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:34,220
Go to this party,
take the first step,

160
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,064
and if you don't take
the first step

161
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:40,029
in those black ankle boots,
can I borrow them?

162
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:44,430
*

163
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,504
- Wow. I thought I was early,

164
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:48,604
but there are so many people
here already.

165
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:51,266
- They're servers.
I had them dress like guests,

166
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,414
so my friends wouldn't be all,
"Ooh, look at Spencer
167
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,510
"with his waiters
and his remodeled apartment

168
00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:59,113
and his Swarovski crystal
boxer briefs."

169
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,276
Still just a regular guy.

170
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:03,183
- Gold-leaf martini?
- Yes, please.

171
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,446
You can really taste
the gold.

172
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:08,494
- Mm, Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

173
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:10,262
- You earned your success.
You're the guy

174
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:12,530
who made the marshmallow
White House sculpture.

175
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,360
The way that it was half melted
to reflect

176
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:19,204
our disintegrating democracy,
such a brave statement.

177
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,502
- It was an accident.

178
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,195
I left it next
to my cell phone,
179
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,766
which broke out
into a spontaneous fire.

180
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:29,276
Anyway, now I own
a falcon named Jericho.

181
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:33,049
- [chuckles] Wow.
I clearly did it all wrong.

182
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,080
Pursued my dreams,
married for love.

183
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,875
Two divorces and a failed
start-up later,

184
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,917
I'm back living with my mom.

185
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,952
Maybe instead of figuring out
my next tech venture,

186
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:43,458
I'll just melt
some marshmallows.

187
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:46,460
- I'll sue you into the ground.
[clicks tongue]

188
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:47,633
- Wow.
I clearly did it all wrong.

189
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:48,961
Oh, no.

190
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,826
Pursued my dreams,
married for love--

191
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,604
Millicent, do not post that.

192
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:55,303
- [shushes]
I'm making content.

193
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,195
- Told you just stop
recording me.

194
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,737
I'm back living with my mom.

195
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:01,142
- Just because you adopted me
doesn't make you my dad.

196
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,614
- I'm back living with my mom.

197
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:07,683
Literally, it does.
That is exactly what it means.

198
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:10,215
- And send.

199
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:13,420
Can you like it
to give it some traction?

200
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:18,433
- "Can you like it to give it
some traction, please?"

201
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,058
- I'm setting a timer
for exactly five minutes.

202
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:24,064
After that, it's back to numbly
eating frozen french fries

203
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,667
straight from the bag.
204
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:28,299
- Oh, good. You guys came.
So what did you bring the host?

205
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:33,565
- It's half-and-half.
Where's the bar?

206
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:36,907
- Hi, Carly.
How's retirement?

207
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:38,254
- I'm not retired.

208
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,178
- You haven't posted
for a month.

209
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:43,323
In internet years,
that's a decade.

210
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:46,890
It's okay, Carly.
Go into the light.

211
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,890
- Your channel
has two subscribers.

212
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,563
I know.
I'm one of them.

213
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:55,731
- Ugh. Now people are going to
think my channel is for olds.

214
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:58,903
- Okay, can I have
everyone's attention, please?

215
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,702
Thank you. Okay.
While Carly is still here--
216
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:04,265
- One minute, 45 seconds to go.

217
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,944
- Years ago I created
a sculpture

218
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,613
with the most moving parts,

219
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:11,111
unwittingly breaking
a Jonas World Record.

220
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:16,354
I've since lost that title,
but tonight I shall reclaim it.

221
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:20,053
Behold, the "Supertastic
Sculpture of Stuff..."

222
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,917
[bell rings]

223
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,015
"Plus."

224
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:26,026
[applause]

225
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,829
- Impressive. Is it different
from the old one?

226
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:33,772
- No. It is the old one,
just with more stuff.

227
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:36,641
Hence the plus.

228
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:40,340
- I'm not unamused.
- I'm full-on amused.
229
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,143
- Are we all looking
at the same thing?

230
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,276
That big, old pile of junk?

231
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,782
- It's art.

232
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:49,884
Not everyone has to like it.
Why don't you like it?

233
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,147
- It's just the same thing
you did before

234
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,985
with a few new pieces, right?

235
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:58,962
- Will somebody put down
their gold drink and defend me?

236
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,592
- I will.

237
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:03,397
The reason this is genius is--
[phone ringing]

238
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,770
And I'm out.
Night, guys.

239
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:08,299
- Freddie, finish her thought,
please.

240
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:11,565
- Okay.
Um.

241
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,674
- Carly? Carly Shay
from Camp Lakehorn?

242
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:19,648
- Luke? Luke Tyler
also from Camp Lakehorn?

243
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,549
- Are you leaving?
- No.

244
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:24,891
I'm just holding the door
for your girlfriend.

245
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,948
- I'm single.

246
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:28,757
- Oh, my God.
We have so much in common.

247
00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,872
- I can't believe we found
each other again.

248
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,468
I just want to know
everything about you.

249
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,099
What does your dad do?

250
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:45,344
- Well, he's in the Air Force
but was somehow on a submarine.

251
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:50,612
And I'm not exactly sure.

252
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:56,353
- Okay. What's your mom like?
- Uh--I--

253
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,623
let's go back to my dad.

254
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:02,191
- So you hot-glued a bunch
of random stuff on there

255
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:05,132
to keep a plaque,
then threw yourself a party?

256
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:09,098
- It's not a plaque.
It's a certificate.

257
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:12,899
I need to eat my feelings.

258
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:17,103
Not a waiter?

259
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,507
- When I got back from Italy,
I went to college.

260
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:21,979
I tried theater
and media studies,

261
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:24,179
but I felt like I got more out
of doing "iCarly"

262
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:27,611
then at any boring old lecture.
So what do you do?

263
00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:30,047
- I'm a college professor.

264
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:33,093
- But I bet whatever you teach
is super meaningful.

265
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:37,320
- I specialize in the mouthfeel
of certain viscous foods.

266
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:39,927
- Yep, super meaningful.
267
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,300
- Trust me, I am in
no place to date.

268
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:46,229
- See, just that self-awareness
tells me you totally are.

269
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,896
- They're out of spicy tuna
cones, so I'm going to dip.

270
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,035
- That's my stepdaughter.
I share custody with my ex,

271
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:58,145
who divorced me
and took all my nice shirts.

272
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,249
[cheers and applause]

273
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,752
- Oh, there you are.

274
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,823
Millicent, I drew your bath,
and, Freddie--Freddie!

275
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:09,724
I put your warm milk in
your Thermos next to your bed.

276
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,386
And if you're both good,
I'll let you snuggle with me

277
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:14,904
for ten minutes
and watch "Toledo House Flip."

278
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:19,198
- Oh, my gosh. Come on,
Freddie, "Toledo House Flip."
279
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:25,314
- So are we done here?
Great. Thank you.

280
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:28,808
- Luke, I don't normally do
this on the first night,

281
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:33,682
but should we go somewhere
a little more comfortable?

282
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:39,086
I hope you still
respect me after this.

283
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,249
Okay. So in the criminal
justice system,

284
00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:42,718
the people are represented

285
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:45,885
by two separate yet equally
important groups, right?

286
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:48,256
There's the police,
who investigate crime,

287
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:52,565
and the district attorneys
who prosecute the offenders.

288
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,329
These are their stories.

289
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:57,337
[upbeat music]

290
00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:00,310
*

291
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,240
- Carly, is that you?
292
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,705
You're normally catatonic
until noon,

293
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:07,014
when you gather enough energy
to cry.

294
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,377
- It's me.

295
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:12,345
Help yourself to a mimosa.
Pancakes are on the way.

296
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:15,085
- You made breakfast,
you showered, you're happy.

297
00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:17,192
I'm thrilled.
What's happening?

298
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:20,764
- [mouths words]
- Fate. Fate is happening.

299
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,503
Did you know
I was about to leave,

300
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:23,959
I set a timer,
it went off

301
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:27,767
I opened the door
and there he was, Luke.

302
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,240
- No.
Ugh.

303
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,939
You were texting
in the group chat until,
304
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,471
like, 3:00 a.m. last night.

305
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:36,175
I swore I would never mute
my bestie, but you tested me.

306
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,381
- Why does it look
so nice in here?

307
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:43,953
- I'm just so happy about
reconnecting with Luke.

308
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:45,994
Did you know
I was about to leave?

309
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:48,519
together: I set a timer
and when it went off,

310
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,185
I opened the door
and there he was,

311
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,734
Luke.

312
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,200
- Millicent doesn't know
the story.

313
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,698
- Don't care.

314
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,870
- Fine. I set a timer,
then it went off.

315
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:03,739
I opened the door
and there he was, Luke.

316
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,310
- Wait a minute.

317
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:08,308
Why is there a framed picture
of Luke on that table?

318
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,011
- Oh, it's just from
his Instagram.

319
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,343
It's totally normal.

320
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,808
- Flowers, the pancakes.

321
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:19,116
- The showering.
This is too nice for us.

322
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,322
- What?

323
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:23,193
I can't do something nice
for my friends

324
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:24,893
and Beau to prove
that I won the break-up?

325
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,334
[all gasp]

326
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:27,389
[doorbell rings]

327
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,557
- What have you done?

328
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:33,496
- I figured since I'm so happy
and in such a good place,

329
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:37,373
it's the perfect time
to reach out to Beau.

330
00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:42,544
- Carly. Carly, Carly, Carly
and friends.

331
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,875
Friends, friends, friends.

332
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:48,681
So excited for brunch,
but first,

333
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:51,175
Carly, can we talk a sec?

334
00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:52,348
- I'll get the water.
- You got that oatmeal?

335
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,245
- I'm going to
read the newspaper.

336
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,418
- Thanks for having me over.
I'm glad we can catch up

337
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:01,727
because I wanted you
to hear it from me first.

338
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:04,401
I'm seeing someone.
[all gasp]

339
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:05,571
- We doing eggs?
- Current events.

340
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:08,938
- So creamy.

341
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,468
- Good for you, Beau.
342
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:13,743
- And we're doing
a new channel together.

343
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:16,143
[all gasp]
- What?

344
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:21,146
- Well, I'm dating someone too.
Luke. We have history.

345
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:24,781
He's a professor, so our
connection is really cerebral

346
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,647
but also physical
and emotional.

347
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,657
All the connections
you can have with a person,

348
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,189
we have, plus more.

349
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,755
This is his face.
- That's awesome.

350
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:39,274
- It is, and we're starting
a channel together too.

351
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:41,129
- What?
- Wow.

352
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:45,238
- This is goat milk!
- We don't even get the paper.

353
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:48,282
- You know, because comedy
and mouthfeel science
354
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,508
are such a natural fit.

355
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:53,583
- Sure. Sure. When are going
to drop your first video?

356
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:56,183
- Uh, Friday.

357
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:59,086
- Wow.
We're dropping Friday too.

358
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,289
- And we're launching live.

359
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:04,661
- Premiere live?
That's crazy risky.

360
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,361
Look at you.

361
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:07,763
I got to run to the bathroom,

362
00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:11,064
but then I want to hear
all about this channel.

363
00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:19,374
- Oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.

364
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:21,036
Why did I just say
I'm launching a channel

365
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,344
with a total stranger?

366
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,835
- Now wait a minute.

367
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:27,906
Y'all went to camp.
You two made s'mores.

368
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:30,517
- Right.
We have that.

369
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,690
You know what?
This is going to totally work.

370
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,289
Luke and I
are going to kill it.

371
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:35,591
- You will?
- Really?

372
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,022
- Luke?

373
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:37,986
- You will.
- Really!

374
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:39,764
- Luke!

375
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:46,998
- I love this place.

376
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:49,643
- Just a heads up,
they only serve whey here.

377
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:52,909
- Like, whey protein that
you put in a smoothie?

378
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:55,009
- No, like the watery part
of milk

379
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:57,881
that remains
after the formation of curds.

380
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:01,980
Divine mouthfeel.

381
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:05,654
- Do all these people know
this?

382
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,215
So I have something
really exciting to tell you--

383
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:12,434
- Mm, mm, mm!
Classic Seattle tap.

384
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:15,199
That slightly unctuous texture.

385
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:21,201
- Very wet.
- Mm-hmm.

386
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,374
- And so I was going to tell
you that--

387
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,242
- Here is our Bavarian goat
whey,

388
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:28,981
fermented at an altitude
of just under 10,000 feet.

389
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:31,478
Enjoy.

390
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,775
- If you get a chunk,
that's considered good luck.

391
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,684
Bottoms up.

392
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:43,963
[Luke moaning]

393
00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:46,790
- Guess I got lucky.
[chuckles]

394
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,156
So the thing I was
going to tell you--

395
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:53,525
- [gargling]

396
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,841
- I'll wait.

397
00:18:56,869 --> 00:19:00,239
- [gargling]

398
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,143
- Yeah. We're done.

399
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:04,605
[upbeat music]

400
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,484
- You wanted to see me?
- Yes.

401
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:09,283
Okay.
Which one of these things

402
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:12,586
can I add to the sculpture
to make you like it?

403
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:15,049
- Spencer, that's not
what this is--

404
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:16,757
are those my sunglasses?

405
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:20,129
- Maybe, or maybe they're art.
- Oh, come on.

406
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,489
Who cares what I think?

407
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:24,858
- Me! Me cares.
- But why does "me" care?

408
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:26,767
Look, just because
I'm young, cool

409
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,969
and probably the hottest person
you'll ever meet in real life?

410
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,801
- Yeah, all those.
- When you made the sculpture,

411
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,808
you were inspired,
and you loved it.

412
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:37,341
That's all that matters.

413
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,247
- I'll buy you a car
if you say you like it.

414
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:42,109
- You are lucky
I do not have parking.

415
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,278
*

416
00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:46,421
- I needed this.

417
00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:48,323
I had discarded dairy juice
for dinner.
418
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:51,085
- No way.
- Yes, whey.

419
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,663
Why did I ever think I should
start a channel with Luke?

420
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,503
Am I that desperate
for a partner?

421
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,958
Don't answer that,
still talking.

422
00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:59,227
[sighs]

423
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:00,666
I just want
to make things again.

424
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,870
- You don't need a partner
to do that.

425
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:06,042
- Yeah. I don't need a partner.
I need Sam,

426
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,942
but she's off following
her bliss with that biker gang.

427
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:12,345
- The Obliteraters.
I hope she's okay.

428
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:16,019
- It's Sam.
I hope they're okay.

429
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,888
I just wish she was here
so we could do "iCarly" again.
430
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,588
- Mm.

431
00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:24,592
Do you think
I could do it on my own?

432
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:27,164
- Doesn't matter what I think.
It matters what you want.

433
00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:30,833
- Of course, I wouldn't be
completely on my own.

434
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,303
I'd have my new producer.

435
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:36,472
- Aw. You do mean me, right?
- Yeah.

436
00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:37,873
Do you think you could shoot me

437
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:41,844
using that filter
that makes my cheekbones all--

438
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,784
- That filter that makes you
look like an alien?

439
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:46,480
- A sexy alien.

440
00:20:46,513 --> 00:20:50,583
- Sure. I guess there's
just one more question.

441
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:53,587
- If Spencer ever got around
to building that home gym.

442
00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:03,757
- I was never going to use
a home gym.

443
00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:10,143
- Ah!
- Oh, that's right.

444
00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:12,609
I forgot about
my marionette-making phase.

445
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:16,379
I keep them up here because
it's away from the knives.

446
00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:18,879
- Mm, why does that one
look like Carly?

447
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,581
- I made one that looks
like you too, Freddie,

448
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:25,253
but I sold it to Nora Dershlit.

449
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,924
- Is this a good idea?

450
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,863
I mean, what would I even do
on the show?

451
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:32,158
Old, goofy stuff,
new, sophisticated stuff?

452
00:21:32,191 --> 00:21:36,401
- Just find something that
makes you smile. Go from there.

453
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:39,069
- Those dachshunds
always made me smile.

454
00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:40,368
Who put those up there?
455
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,440
- I've never seen those before
in my life.

456
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:49,875
- Aw.
The idiot farm girl.

457
00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:53,809
You know what? This really
does look like a squirrel.

458
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:58,116
Oh, my God. The sack.
These were so fun.

459
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:01,120
- Yeah, until Sam superglued
my drawstring closed

460
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,993
and left me here overnight.

461
00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:04,722
- Yeah. That was a rough night
for me too.

462
00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:07,957
He would not stop screaming.

463
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:11,364
- George, the bra
that told ghost stories.

464
00:22:11,398 --> 00:22:14,568
I never did grow into you.

465
00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:17,371
- See, you came up with all
this stuff when you were a kid.

466
00:22:17,404 --> 00:22:18,944
Imagine what you can do now.

467
00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:21,371
- And we'll help however we
can.

468
00:22:21,408 --> 00:22:27,608
- I'm really glad to hear
you say that because...

469
00:22:27,647 --> 00:22:30,777
I thought
it might still be here.

470
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:34,417
- Damn it.
- [chuckles]

471
00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:36,064
- We're back.

472
00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:39,658
- In five, four,

473
00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:42,362
three, two--

474
00:22:42,395 --> 00:22:45,765
- Welcome to the new "iCarly."

475
00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:47,898
- Ooh, looks like she's already
got a few viewers.

476
00:22:47,934 --> 00:22:50,874
- Probably bots from Brazil.

477
00:22:50,903 --> 00:22:54,143
- This is still "iCarly,"
but it's grown-up now.

478
00:22:54,173 --> 00:22:56,783
So today I thought I'd share
my skin-care routine.

479
00:22:56,809 --> 00:22:59,579
According to the many,
many targeted ads I get,

480
00:22:59,612 --> 00:23:03,182
it's never too early
to start using...

481
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:06,285
anti-aging products!

482
00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:09,688
Even for Baby Spencer.

483
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:13,032
- Yeah! That's me!

484
00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:15,699
- None of these products
were tested on animals,

485
00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:18,258
just one tiny,
little lucky infant.

486
00:23:18,297 --> 00:23:22,367
- Oh, I feel lucky!
In no way am I worried.

487
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:24,641
- [laughs]

488
00:23:24,671 --> 00:23:27,941
- Here we go.
- Oh.

489
00:23:27,974 --> 00:23:29,714
- Oh, I think he needs
a lot more.

490
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:32,982
- Some more?
- No. That's enough already.

491
00:23:33,012 --> 00:23:34,682
[shouts]

492
00:23:34,714 --> 00:23:37,554
I don't think
this is how you do it.

493
00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:39,124
- I love this serum.

494
00:23:39,151 --> 00:23:41,151
I actually panic-bought it
when I was at a 7-Eleven,

495
00:23:41,187 --> 00:23:43,117
and the guy there
called me ma'am.

496
00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:44,715
- I don't know
what he's so upset about.

497
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:47,287
I pay people to do this to me.

498
00:23:47,326 --> 00:23:49,426
- They say that by the time
you need skin care,

499
00:23:49,462 --> 00:23:50,862
it's already too late,

500
00:23:50,897 --> 00:23:52,427
but you should still spend
all your money on it.

501
00:23:52,465 --> 00:23:55,025
And in the end, it's just
an expensive reminder

502
00:23:55,067 --> 00:23:57,237
we're all going to die someday.

503
00:23:57,269 --> 00:24:01,969
- That's a little emo for
a comedy show, don't you think?

504
00:24:02,008 --> 00:24:03,238
- Sheet mask.
- What?

505
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:07,145
- Yup. Here you go.
- Ah! No!
506
00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:08,979
- People are weirdly loving
this.

507
00:24:09,015 --> 00:24:11,275
- I'm totally hating it!

508
00:24:11,317 --> 00:24:14,247
- Enough of that, baby.
And now we're just going to...

509
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:15,556
- That's cold.

510
00:24:15,588 --> 00:24:17,018
- Roll it all up.
- I don't like that feeling.

511
00:24:17,056 --> 00:24:18,856
- And we're going to absorb...
- Ow.

512
00:24:18,891 --> 00:24:21,531
- All the moisturizer.
- It's cold.

513
00:24:21,561 --> 00:24:22,831
- You ready for the lip mask?

514
00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:25,032
- Oh, I don't know what it is,
but I am.

515
00:24:25,064 --> 00:24:26,804
- Right here.
- Okay.

516
00:24:26,833 --> 00:24:30,403
- Okay. You're going to want to
keep your mouth nice and shut.

517
00:24:30,436 --> 00:24:31,966
- That sounds good.

518
00:24:32,004 --> 00:24:34,114
- This lip mask is actually
made out of laundry detergent.

519
00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:35,310
- [sputters and shouts]

520
00:24:35,341 --> 00:24:37,841
- Kinda of seems like
we never left.

521
00:24:37,877 --> 00:24:40,677
[upbeat music]

522
00:24:40,713 --> 00:24:43,183
- A toast to my sister, Carly.

523
00:24:43,215 --> 00:24:45,245
- To Carly.
- To Carly.

524
00:24:45,284 --> 00:24:49,094
- Also I decided not to call
the Jonas people.

525
00:24:49,121 --> 00:24:51,321
Let someone else
have the world record.

526
00:24:51,357 --> 00:24:52,927
It's not why I made
the sculpture,

527
00:24:52,959 --> 00:24:55,929
and it's not why I love it.

528
00:24:55,962 --> 00:24:58,902
- Still not for me.
- Damn it.

529
00:24:58,931 --> 00:25:00,871
- I think the sculpture
is great.

530
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,030
Do all the pieces still move?

531
00:25:02,068 --> 00:25:04,268
- You tell me.

532
00:25:04,303 --> 00:25:05,373
[whirring]

533
00:25:05,404 --> 00:25:06,644
[clattering]

534
00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:08,473
[electricity crackles]

535
00:25:14,013 --> 00:25:18,823
- I--I love it.

536
00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:21,421
- You do?
- Absolutely.

537
00:25:21,453 --> 00:25:24,063
It's about setting
your own self on fire

538
00:25:24,090 --> 00:25:28,860
and then rebuilding
from the ashes like a phoenix.

539
00:25:28,895 --> 00:25:31,555
- If you want to
oversimplify it, sure.

540
00:25:31,598 --> 00:25:33,028
- You know,
you really had me going

541
00:25:33,065 --> 00:25:34,965
with the whole world record
thing,

542
00:25:35,001 --> 00:25:37,001
but I guess
that was just a part of it.

543
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:38,466
Performance art.

544
00:25:38,504 --> 00:25:41,444
[flames crackling]

545
00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:48,454
- It wasn't supposed
to catch on fire, was it?

546
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,450
- Never is.