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Kragenbrink, Steve
Leadership Identity Narrative
OGL 482: Organizational Leadership Pro-Seminar ll (2022 Spring -B)
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We are only what we have done and what we choose to be. This is a running theme

within my leadership journey, an adventure of epic proportions which have followed me

throughout my life. Since a young age, I have been pulled to create my own destiny through hard

work, failures, animosity, and struggle. Nothing has come easy for me but I also am thankful for

the situations that I have found myself traveling through, if it was not for these trials,

tribulations, successes, defeats, I would not have collected the memories and lessons which

construct my identity today. These lessons formulate into a story, narrative, of my leadership

journey and help to signify my personal growth and development both personally and

professionally. However, it remains to say that we truly are a collection of where we have been,

what we have done, and what we choose to be. Are we lions? Are we sheep? These are questions

that I have asked throughout my life as I built (arguable still build) my leadership skills. While I

do not think that one ever truly becomes a master in leading, what we can do is look toward

those who give us inspiration and challenge us to be better, to learn more, and to continually

evaluate our own biases. Maintaining a learner view, both philosophically and emotionally, is a

vital component of leadership. However, it is the evolution of leadership that I feel is the true

narrative of my story. How I have transitioned and transformed from an elementary

understanding of what is means to manage both myself and others, to expanding my cultural and

emotional intelligence through life experiences, building off of these lessons, so that I can

become a servant leader. Reaching what I consider an apogee of my leadership journey is not

something that I can honestly say has happened yet, this is due to the fact that I still must actively

work to identify biases which hold me in reserve, impact my concept of thought, and affect my

ability to interact with those around me in my family, my community, and the world in general.

Therefore, I view the narrative of my leadership as far from complete but yet inclusive of where I
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have been, what I have done, the situations that have challenged my growth, and the learning that

I can apply to leadership in a general and masterful position. Again, I do not consider leadership

as having a beginning and an end, as a college course, there is no final exam. Rather, leadership

is a path that I have been called to and it has been full of both positive and negative experiences.

Together, this history should be considered a snapshot as there is plenty that I do not know and

have not learned.

I was born in Orange County, California, and I am the seventh (and final) child. Both of

my parents were married prior to meeting each other and I have five siblings on my dad’s side

before he married my mom and had myself and my older brother. Being the last of many, I great

up as the “baby” in the family and can honestly say that I have always known and felt love.

While I would not say that I was always liked by my siblings due to the attention that I received.

We all loved each other for our own parts and in our own way. As a result of my family

structure, I have always played a role of some sort in a group and as such have had a consistent

and ongoing immersion in learning the intricacies associated with group dynamics. Of course,

the group was not always a democracy, nor should it have been, since my father was the

patriarch of a group of boys and girls who probably heated each other as much as they loved

each other. Thinking back to my youngest years, and throughout my life, my father has been my

rock. I might not have always liked him, and my biggest regret is not having more knowledge of

who he was, I know that it was because of him that I was able to begin a path of leadership.

Looking at the majority of my siblings reveals that all chose paths of leadership in some way or

another, while I want to say that this is a result of influences from both my mother and father…

the reality is that it was because of dad and the way that he raised and inspired us…inspired me.
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I do not define my identity by parents but I can explain my journey superimposed by the

fact that it was through their sacrifices and support that I was able to grow along my leadership

path…and experience how to survive on my own as well. I attended private elementary school

and while one would assume that the school was stricter and more challenging than public

education, my personal experience was not necessarily entirely favorable. Early on, my

experiences were built around faith and the church. I was taught to love and fear God and to treat

other people with love and kindness, this message was reinforced every Wednesday at Chapel

and every Sunday at church. My family was very strong in the faith and it was in middle school

that my faith was tested.

Prior to entering junior high, I found myself of average height and above average weight.

I was a bigger kid and my classmates made sure to remind me about this regularly. I became that

target of bullying on a regular basis and this continued throughout my junior high years.

However, something was happening, I started to grow taller. I remember a day in seventh grade

when the kid, I think his name was Josh, who would bully and make fun of my size showed me

where my limit was. Frankly, I had had enough and without going into too many details, I let

him have it. The result was a trip to the principal’s office where I was convinced a severe

punishment was waiting for me. Instead, the principal (before bringing my mom to the school)

pulled me aside, grabbed my shoulders, looked into my tween eyes and said – “Thank You for

sticking up for yourself, what took you so long?”. I was shocked, but then I began to understand

self-reliance…which I feel is what started me on my path of leadership. I think that it is

important to mention that not all of the kids in school were bullies, what I did learn is how I was

the only one willing to step forward and put an end to the bullying in one way or another. To this

day, many of my old classmates and I remain in contact regardless of the years and miles that
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have accumulated since graduating the eighth grade. We are all only what we have done and who

we choose to be.

High School is where I feel that the real groundwork of leadership began for me. Since I

spent the first nine years of my education at the same school with the same people, it was a bit of

a shock attending a public school that dwarfed my elementary/junior high private school in size

and population. There were now hundred of students and I might have known a small handful.

Couple that with the freshman and sophomore awkwardness, the path was not an easy one for the

“new kid”. Yet something was continuing to happen, I was thinning out and growing taller. It

was during this time in my leadership journey that I perfected my ability to navigate the social

environment effectively in order to reach my goals, meet the expectation of my parents, and rise

above awkward social challenges. This was also the first time that I integrated within a culture

that was not filled with upper middle-class private school families and I learned quickly about

how to empathize within a socioeconomic microcosm. I don’t feel as though I truly belonged to

any specific group or identity at this time, which in way, was the catalyst to learning how to

navigate the environment effectively. I played football, yet I was also highly engaged with art

and photography clubs. I spent time with friends who lived in the houses on the hill along with

those who barely had money for lunch. I had was involved with members of all of the different

social groups and could enjoy the company of just about everyone. This is where I learned how

to interact with people, to engage with people on individual levels, and to communicate

effectively in order to find allies and comradery in just about every social situation. I feel as

though this education became a talent and to this day not only maintain diverse friendships, I

have been described as someone who can not only “work any room” but can also “operate like
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water around large groups of people”. These early experiences created skills that I continue to

hone and use to this day.

Junior and Senior years in high school are transition periods for everyone. No longer

considered children and not quite prepared to be alone in the world…definitely not adults. It was

during this time that I became aware of philosophy through the help of an amazing teacher. This

man literally changed my view of myself and the world around me. He challenged free thought

and promoted abstract thinking. This is when I began to realize the potential of my ability to lead

and influence the people around me. This teacher took a group of students to experience Europe

together for a few weeks over the summer. Of course, I jumped at the opportunity and participate

in two study abroad opportunities with him and a group of other students. While some people

came of age to John Hughes movies…we instead learned about history in Rome, war in

Germany, and love in France. It was during these adventures that I strengthened my self-reliance

while also opening my mind to deeper cultural intelligence. Furthering my desire for diversity in

life and laying the groundwork for become a more well-rounded young adult. While the past

should not define us, it becomes increasingly clear that what we are is simply a collection of

what we have done and learned.

Upon graduation from high school, a pivotal moment in everyone’s life, I was faced with

a dilemma. Should I stay or should I go? My girlfriend at the time moved to San Francisco to

attend university and while I was not college minded…I was looking for an opportunity, or

possibly a reason, to grab life by the horns and see what my potential truly was. I made the

decision to pack everything I valued into a beat-up Honda civic, said goodbye to my mom and

dad, and drove to San Francisco to live life. Looking back, I question this decision as the results

were challenging at best. This moment was pivotal to my leadership development because
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leaders must be able to make analyze different options, decide, and follow through with the

decision with conviction. Yet, to continue my theme of life lessons in this narrative, it had to

happen in order to bring me to where I am today.

Moving to a large city on your own without very much except the clothes on your back is

daring for anyone. Doing it at the young age of eighteen, without very much direction, is a

struggle. Fortunately for me, my parents raised me to think with a level head and to be self-

reliant and self-sufficient. I ended up getting a job at a coffee shop fairly easily and was quickly

promoted to a supervisory level. I took it upon myself to register for classes at the City College

of San Francisco and began working on my undergraduate courses. I had a girl, we lived in a

nice apartment, I had a good job, and I was going to school. Things were looking up for sure.

Eventually, I was promoted to Assistant Manager and began a management path that would

continue throughout the next stages of my life. Eventually, I grew tired of my position though

and needed something else. I was promoted further and became a “fixer” or “hatchet man” for

the organization’s District Manager. Essentially, my job was to go into underperforming

locations, evaluate the manager, and make recommendations based upon the data collected. Over

the next few years, I continued to pursue leadership positions in the organization and eventually

was given a location to run as I saw fit. Things were going well until my relationship fell apart, I

lost what love I thought I had, and I was completely unhappy in my position. While learning the

hard way about the need for job satisfaction, this time of my life also created more experiences

and life lessons. Learning from these and from the past, helped to continue to create who I am

today.

The next few years were a time of change for me as an individual and as a leader. I

moved into the lower Height and physically lived within a predominantly African American
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community. I made friends with people who even I wouldn’t expect and experienced racism first

hand in the way that many of my friends were treated both by law enforcement and by the city as

a whole. A few blocks from my apartment, across Market Street, was the Castro District. It was

during this time that I learned about the bigotry and struggles of the LGTQ community. This was

a tough lesson for me to learn, but it also reflected my ability to interact and align with diverse

groups of people. Empathy is something that was forged during my time living in Bohemia

surrounded by artists, musicians, freaks, and geeks as well. Culturally, this was one of the most

amazing experiences of my life. While I lived in the coffee shops, art cafes, and museums during

the day, I owned and operated a nightclub in downtown San Francisco by night. Running my

own business at a young age was challenging, but it was a culmination of my leadership and life

experiences up to this point and I was successful. In addition to my nightclub, I also become the

manager for the kitchens at the Warfield and Fillmore concert halls. I led kitchen teams in two

locations and have served food to artists from Carlos Santa to Prince. Something was missing

though and it was at this time that I decided that there was something feint that was pulling my

back to Orange County.

It was round my 22nd birthday in 2003 that I decided to take a break from my life in San

Francisco and return home to my parent’s house for a few months…at least that was the plan.

Life is and adventure and mine was just beginning…I only didn’t know it yet. It was at this time

that I was sitting at a coffee shop in Tustin, California when I caught a glimpse in a reflection of

a girl that I used to know in High School. We ended up connecting and going out for drinks that

evening…at which time she proceeded to ask me if I wanted to see a picture of my daughter.

This moment forever changed the trajectory of my life as it led to me leaving the life I had built

in San Francisco in order to become the father to my daughter. It wasn’t easy, but parenthood is
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something that I now understand to be a pinnacle of my leadership journey. I no longer was

living for myself alone, rather, I was responsible for others. Eventually, my daughter’s mother

and I moved to San Luis Obispo, CA and I supported her through graduate school at Cal Poly

San Luis Obispo. We eventually got married and had two additional children together. We are

only what we have done, a collection of memories, and who we want to be.

It is at this time that I also reconnected with my father as I needed guidance to raise my

children, I had spent the majority of my early adult years living fast in a large city. It was at this

point in my life, sometime around the age of thirty, that I found myself longing for my family.

My priorities shifted towards my children and raising them to the best of my ability. It was

around this time that I took on a position at a local non-profit animal welfare organization. At the

time, this seemed like I had made it to the pinnacle of my career and of my life. My job was

secure, my family was growing, and I had reconnected with those who I loved. After a couple of

years at an entry level management position, I was quickly promoted up to lead my department. I

was in charge of a large group of auxiliary team members and had to design multiple project

teams to meet organizational needs ongoing throughout the year. I learned how to identify

engagement levels, commitment, and skill sets fairly quickly. I was also tasked with on-boarding

new team members as they were brought up to speed on organizational policies and procedures.

It was also during this time that I was published in People Magazine, was featured on local

television and radio weekly, and made appearances on the Hallmark Channel. All we are, is a

collection of what we have done, what we have learned, and what we choose to be.

A highlight of my leadership journey took place in 2015 when I was nominated to

participate in a year long leadership program that was sponsored by the San Luis Obispo

Chamber of Commerce. The program is called Leadership SLO and it essentially takes a cross
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section of thirty local professionals from all professional sectors, and places them into a

leadership training program that takes place over the course of year. Meetings took place in

different areas of the county and would focus on topics such as sustainability, team-building,

green-initiatives, government, non-profit, environmental, local industry, and more. Participants

were all middle to upper level directors in both public and private sector organizations. We

worked throughout the year to learn and grow, network, and come together to complete a final

leadership project. Our project was to redesign and install the San Luis Obispo County display

which is housed inside the rotunda of our capital building in Sacramento. Thinking back about

this experience, it truly was both eye opening in regards to the level of knowledge and learning

that took place…and it was also life changing for me in how it introduced me to service

leadership concepts that I had simply not considered previously. I was focused on my family and

my personal life/career but this activity promoted and revealed how important and impactful

community leadership is. I feel that it was through Leadership SLO, that my desire for ongoing

leadership growth and more specifically service leadership was influenced. After completing the

Leadership SLO (Class XXI: “Finally Legal” aka Best Class Ever) I made a commitment to

become more community minded. As a result, I joined the Benevolent Protectorate Order of Elks

(B.P.O.E #322) and quickly recognized a need for leadership in the lodge’s-chartered Cub Scout

Pack. I jumped at the opportunity to not only apply my leadership skills to a community

program, but also to have a new adventure to begin with my young boys. All we are, is a

collection of what we have done, what we have learned, and what we choose to be.

Service Leadership became a focus of my ongoing leadership narrative and I utilized my

experiences to take on increasingly higher roles in my boy’s Cub Scout Pack. We had a great

time, learning about scouting and building skills that eventually translated into leadership
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qualities of honesty, self-reliance, judgement, and honor. I became the Committee Chair for Pack

322 and then accepted the same position for Scout Troop 322 when my son Noah completed his

cub scout path and “bridged” into the scout troop in 2019 (My younger boy, Luke, recently

committed to the scout program and bridged into the troop in spring of 2022). Aside from

providing learning opportunities for a group of incredible boys (some of whom I have watched

grow from first through eighth grade), the scout program is more importantly a leadership

training program. All scout troops are different and typically reflects their adult leadership. We

have designed and built our program based upon the Scouts BSA Patrol Method. The patrol

method places the majority of troop leadership onto the shoulders of the scouts themselves and

not on the adult committee members. The scouts essentially run their own troop, make their own

decisions on activities, design and organize the activities, and contribute to the growth of one

another as they all work toward their rank advancement goals. The personal satisfaction that I

receive from being a part of the growth of our scouts as they complete increasingly challenging

tasks and requirements is the reason why I continue to volunteer my time to lead them in an

administrative capacity. While not completely altruistic in this endeavor, I do receive my own

rewards from participating in scouts through the numerous ongoing wilderness activities that I

get to participate in with my children…and in a way…scouting provides me with the opportunity

to remain connected to my father. All we are, is a collection of what we have done, what we have

learned, and what we choose to be.

The past few years have not been without their challenges for me on both personal and

professional levels either. My wife and I divorced in 2015 and I have been single parenting my

boys since then. Becoming a single father was another step in my leadership journey in that it

essentially forced me to become the role of both mom and dad at the same time. Without the
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support structure provided by a two-parent household, I essentially had to lead mine on my own.

My own view of diversity changed at this point due to the fact that socially, single mothers are

glorified while single fathers typically are an afterthought or sub-group. This is something that

became increasingly clear to me at my job, where women were offered a larger support structure

and accommodations while I was needing to make more and more explanations for why I could

no longer work a strict schedule, devote weekends to work projects, and attend after hour

business meetings. Fortunately, the leadership at my organization did understand my role and my

commitment to the organization and effectively worked with me to ensure that I could continue

to meet my obligations for both work and my children.

In regards to my leadership journey, being a single parent effectively turns you into a

project manager. It is around this time, that I learned how important it is to budget more

effectively in order to remove debt and plan for the future. Time itself became something that I

had to include in the budgeting process in order to continue to perform at a high level for work

while also making it to my children’s school performances, medical appointments, sport

activities, scouts, and just about everything else they became engaged in. However, my

commitment remained focused on raising my boys to the best of my ability and I dedicated

myself wholly to providing for their needs. This is an ongoing process for sure and as my

children grow into young men, I can only hope that the lessons I have taught them…and the

lessons which we have learned together, will help them to become even better humans than I am.

All we are, is a collection of what we have done, what we have learned, and what we choose to

be.

I was fortunate to have the opportunity to work with a significant number of service

minded organizational leaders for fourteen years at my organization. Each one brought with them
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unique leadership traits that I have absorbed and articulated into my own leadership style. Each

one provided opportunities for learning, growth, and personal development all of which I am

incredibly thankful for. I had grown in the organization to the level of VP with only the role of

Executive Director as a position to further develop into. It was at this time that a new Executive

Director was brought into the organization by the Board of Directors, and while I was slightly

taken back by not receiving an offer for the position myself, I committed to promoting the

change in the organization and utilizing my long-term organizational knowledge to support this

new person in their role and in their position. I worked to ease the transition for this person and

facilitated, to the best of my ability, his integration into the team, the organization, and the

community. I took pride in the opportunity to serve the organization by assisting this individual

assume the leadership role. Unfortunately, it started to become increasingly clear that this person

was not interested in integrating into the culture of the organization, and instead began to view

me as a threat to his leadership. After spending fourteen years focusing on growth, development,

and meeting the needs of the community in innovative ways…the members of the team were

forced to switch their focus to self-preservation and become “company” men and women. This

leader was authoritarian and heavy handed with his methods. The focus ceased looking toward

meeting the needs of the community and was replaced by meeting the goals and objectives of the

leader. However, these goals and objectives were only truly self-serving and his methodology

effectively degraded the team’s efficacy, trust, and ability to perform at exceptionally high

levels. It took about a year, but eventually, this individual was able to design and create a false

narrative about me and convince the Board of Directors that it was time to dissolve my position

for “cost cutting” purposes in response to the Covid-19 lockdowns and business restrictions. All

we are, is a collection of what we have done, what we have learned, and what we choose to be.
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It was at this time, fall 2020, that I feel that my leadership ability was put to the test. I had

lost my career, my brother passed away unexpectedly, and I was trying to homeschool my boys

as a single parent due to Covid-19 related shutdowns. My relationship with my partner was

falling apart and I truly struggled each day to continue to move forward. Once again, I found

solace and strength in my father. I spoke with him daily over the phone and sought his advice

regularly. He helped me to take life into perspective and to frame my situation differently. To

never give up and to continue to work and strive to become better. Taking his words to heart, I

chose to return to school and complete my Bachelors Degree in Organizational Leadership at

Arizona State University. I started to work as an insurance contractor and was quickly hired as

an account executive at a local radio station. I might have felt defeated, but my father has always

instilled in me a reason to continue to pick myself up off the ground and work hard at advancing

my situation. He would always say to me that falling down was all part of getting up. All we are,

is a collection of what we have done, what we have learned, and what we choose to be.

I heard my father’s voice for the last time on Friday, February 25th, 2022. He passed away

in the early morning of Tuesday, March 1st. I do not think that one is ever ready to say goodbye

to a parent, or a loved one. While part of me sees this as yet another major setback, I also view

the loss of my father as a turning point in my leadership journey. I am alone and I must now

continue my path without his guidance, love, and support. I no longer have my dad’s perspective

when addressing and confronting challenges. I am alone. All we are, is a collection of what we

have done, what we have learned, and what we choose to be.

Conclusion

2022 has already shown me that my leadership challenges will continue, yet, through all

that has happened (both positive and negative) along my leadership journey, I continue to strive
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to become a better leader through learning, compassion, and service. I am at a point in the

journey where I am starting to feel momentum building behind me once again, and I fall back

upon this momentum in order to propel myself forward. I am currently on track to complete my

degree in the spring, I have managed to maintain my civic involvement and leadership at the

ELKs lodge and Scouts BSA, I continue to work two jobs in order to provide for my small

family while keeping my gaze ahead. I have lost family members and I have lost love, however, I

have gained new understanding about empathy and creating commitment within my teams.

Leadership is more than simply applying managerial skills, it is a commitment to establishing a

vision, sharing a goal, and building up those around us in order to move the team/organization

forward. Over the course of my leadership narrative, there are numerous stages in my life (with

numerous pivotal decisions made) that have all brought me to this one point in time. The tools I

have in my tool box can be applied to organizational situations, decisions, and team

development. In completing my leadership narrative, I am reminded about the different points in

my life which have played significant roles in creating the lens in which I view the world,

establishing the style of leadership that I embrace, and how all we are, is a collection of what we

have done, what we have learned, and what we choose to be.

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Turning Points Graph

Turning points in my leadership narrative journey

1. Elementary School – trying out and not getting the part of the turkey in the Thanksgiving
play
2. Middle School – ridiculed by classmates due to my weight and height
3. Middle School – finding football and becoming an important part of the school team
4. Middle School – First fight against a person who was bullying me
5. Middle School – Invited to play saxophone with the Orange County Philharmonic
6. Middle School – walking a different path, growing my hair long, finding heavy metal
7. High School – gravitating toward art and music, having my artwork placed in local art
shows
8. High School – Finding an English Teacher who saw my potential and pushed me to think
outside of the realm of high school and to look towards philosophy
9. High School – Traveling with a group of peers to Europe for a summer and taking on a
leadership role in the group
10. Graduating High School and taking it upon myself to move away from home and to San
Francisco
11. Getting a job at a coffee shop quickly advancing to shift management
12. Community College – taking the imitative to work and begin attending community
college, falling in love and moving in together
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13. Promoted to assistant manager and then deciding to take on a management position at
different type of store.
14. Managing a team and a store for a while, then being drawn back to my previous employer
by an offer by the district manager to work directly as a fixer/hatchet man to assist
underperforming stores.
15. Running and management a nightclub in Downtown San Francisco
16. Losing love
17. Moving to Height and Webster where I experienced deep seated racism, inequality, and
abuse while also finding connection and raw honesty in the culture of the African
American community.
18. Being introduced to my daughter whom I had no knowledge of and deciding to forgo my
ambitions to be a father instead.
19. Moving to San Luis Obispo, returning to school, and taking on a leadership role at a local
hotel
20. Taking on a director level job for a non-profit organization to lead the human capital of
the organization
21. Being elected to join a Leadership Program sponsored by the county, life changing
experience and growth of desire for service leadership.
22. Getting Divorced
23. Taking on a leadership role in the Scouts BSA,
24. Perfecting and promoting my skills and featured in People Magazine, local television,
radio, and The Hallmark Channel
25. Promoted to the level of VP of my organization
26. Recognized in the county for my work in the non-profit sector, featured in local
magazines and news
27. Elected as a senior leader for my son’s scout troop
28. Forced out of my position by the new CEO due to my institutional, community, and
industry knowledge. I became a threat to the leader’s ability to lead as an authoritarian
leader.
29. Taking time in my life to focus on my children, stay at home and evaluate myself and my
own efficacy.
30. Returning to school and working toward completing a degree in organizational leadership
31. Returning to work full time and starting up a profitable side hustle
32. Realizing that through my trials and challenges that I have grown as a service leader and
have done so on my own as a single parent. Looking into my children’s eyes and seeing
their respect and their commitment to becoming leaders of their own
33. Losing my father and realizing that I am now on my own from this point forward. No
longer do I have dad to bounce ideas off of, to talk me back from wrong decisions, and no
longer do I have his wisdom and guidance. I am on my own to lead my life