MODULE I (Introduction to Emotional Intelligence)

1. Definition of Emotional Intelligence:-

 Emotional intelligence refers to the capability of a person to manage and control his or her emotions
and possess the ability to control the emotions of others as well. In other words, they can influence the
emotions of other people also.
 The term emotional intelligence was popularized in 1995 by psychologist and behavioral science
journalist Dr. Daniel Goleman in his book, Emotional Intelligence.
 Dr. Goleman described emotional intelligence as “a person's ability to manage his feelings so that those
feelings are expressed appropriately and effectively”. According to Goleman, emotional intelligence is
the largest single predictor of success in the workplace.
2. Importance of Emotional Intelligence:-
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and regulate one’s emotions and understand the
emotions the others. A high EQ helps you to build relationships, reduce team stress, defuse
conflict and improve job satisfaction. Ultimately, a high EI means having the potential to
increase team productivity and staff retention. That’s why when it comes to recruiting
management roles, employers look to hire and promote candidates with a high ‘EQ’ (emotional
quotient) – rather than IQ (intelligence quotient).
3. Benefits of EI :-
 Helps Employees to Move to the Next Level
 Reduces Stress
 Teaches Employees How to React to Constructive Criticism
 Helps Employees Conquer Their Fears, Doubts, and Insecurities
 Improves Communication Skills
 Enhances Social Skills
 Creates a Positive Environment
 Increases Frustration Tolerance
 Shows Employees Their Limits
 Helps Employees Deal with Change And Uncertainty
 Shows Leaders How to Identify Potential Mental Health Risks
 Increases Sense of Accountability
 Fosters Better Leadership
 Strengthens Team or Group Cohesiveness
 Improves Client Service
4. Johari Window Model of EI :-
Johari Window model of EI was developed by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harrington
Ingham in 1955. It is named as window as its 4 quadrants represents window like structure.
 1st quadrant also known as public self/ transparent area
2nd quadrant also known as Blind self/blind spot
3rd quadrant is also known as unknown self/ potential discovery area
4th quadrant is also known as private self/hidden self
5. Understanding difference between Trait EI and Ability EI :- (Main Models
of EI)
TRAIT EI MODEL :- Given by Petrides in 2009. It proposes that people have, as part of their
personalities, a number of emotional self-perceptions and emotional traits.
According to Daniel Goleman, there are five main elements of emotional intelligence.
a) Self-Awareness-This is the ability to recognize and
understand ones moods, motivations, and abilities.
Also understanding the effects they have on others.
b) Self-Regulation- This is the ability to control ones
impulses, the ability to think before you
speak/react, and the ability to express yourself
appropriately.

c) Motivation- This is having an interest in learning and self-improvement. It is having

the strength to keep going when there are obstacles in life. It is setting goals and
following through with them.
d) Empathy- This is the ability to understand other people’s emotions and reactions.
Empathy can only be achieved if self-awareness is achieved.
 e) Social Skills- This is the ability to pick up on jokes, sarcasm, customer service,
maintaining friendships and relationships, and finding common ground with others.

ABILITY EI MODEL :- Put forth by Mayer, Salovey and Caruso. This model defines
emotional intelligence in terms of an ability, rather than a trait or characteristic. The model
proposes four main types of emotional abilities which are as follows:-

a) Emotional Perception – it refers an individual’s ability to recognize his own emotions

and to understand the emotions expressed by others. This is the basic skill involved in
EI because unless you can perceive emotions you cannot manage them.
b) Emotional Use – The ability to use one’s emotions involves the skill of leveraging
emotions to enhance our thinking, decision-making and relationships. For example,
Channelizing anger at perceived injustice towards fighting for one’s legitimate rights.
c) Emotional Understanding – It refers to using the specific information that various
emotions provide and knowing how that might affect behaviour of the person. For
example, you promised your wife to take her to movie but you forgot. Once you return
to home, you saw your wife being rude and angry. If you are a man of high EQ, you
can easily discover that the angriness of your wife is the result of your failure to fulfil
the promise.
d) Emotional Management – It refers the ability of an individual to self-regulate
emotions and to regulate emotions in others. The person with a high level of this ability
can harness positive or negative emotions and manage them in a way that facilities the
completion of required tasks.
6. Difference Between Trait EI and Ability EI :-

7. Difference Between EQ and IQ :-

8. Concept of Social Quotient (SQ)/IQ/EQ :-
Intelligence quotient – IQ. Formulated by psychologists like Alfred Binet and later
conceptualized by psychologist William Stern, IQ includes qualities like analytical skills,
logical reasoning, ability to relate multiple things, and ability to store and retrieve information.
IQ tests check this through various questions related to reading comprehension, data
interpretation, logical reasoning, verbal ability, visual-spatial reasoning, classification,
analogies and pattern-detection.
Emotional Intelligence – EQ. Conceptualized by psychologists like Michael Beldoch and
later popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman, EQ includes some key competencies which
then have further subheads viz. self-awareness which includes emotional awareness, self-
assessment & self-confidence; self-regulation which includes self-control, trustworthiness,
conscientiousness, adaptability & innovativeness; self-motivation which includes drive,
commitment, initiative & optimism; social awareness which includes empathy, service
orientation, developing others, leveraging diversity, and political awareness; and social skills
which include influence, communication, leadership, change management, conflict
management and cooperation.
Social Intelligence – SQ. Postulated by psychologist Edward Thorndike,it was later reinvented
by psychologists like Howard Gardner and Daniel Goleman. Gardner proposed that there are
multiple intelligences, out of which he talked about two important ones intrapersonal
intelligence and interpersonal intelligence. According to him, interpersonal intelligence
includes sensitivity towards others’ moods, feelings, temperaments and motivations; and
ability to cooperate as part of a group. Gardner equated it with Daniel Goleman’s Emotional
Intelligence. “Social intelligence is ability of a person to tune into other people’s emotions and
read the subtle behavioral cues to choose the most effective response in a given situation”.
 Adverse/Adversity Quotient (AQ)- The adversity quotient is a person's ability to face
situations, problems, and obstacles in life. According to Stoltz, a person with an adversity
quotient will be able to effectively face obstacles and take advantage of opportunities.
9. Measuring EI :-
A number of different assessments have emerged to measure levels of emotional intelligence.
Such tests generally fall into one of two types: self-report tests and ability tests.
Self-report tests are the most common because they are the easiest to administer and score. On
such tests, respondents respond to questions or statements by rating their own behaviors. For
example, on a statement such as "I often feel that I understand how others are feeling," a test-
taker might describe the statement as disagree, somewhat disagree, agree, or strongly agree.
Ability tests, on the other hand, involve having people respond to situations and then assessing
their skills. Such tests often require people to demonstrate their abilities, which are then rated
by a third party.
If you are taking an emotional intelligence test administered by a mental health professional,
here are two measures that might be used:
Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT) is an ability-based test that
measures the four branches of Mayer and Salovey's EI model. Test-takers perform tasks
designed to assess their ability to perceive, identify, understand, and manage emotions.
Emotional and Social Competence Inventory (ESCI) is based on an older instrument known
as the Self-Assessment Questionnaire and involves having people who know the individual
offer ratings of that person’s abilities in several different emotional competencies. The test is
designed to evaluate the social and emotional abilities that help distinguish people as strong
leaders.
10. Skills in EI :-
a) Self awareness
b) Self control / self management
c) Social awareness
d) Relationship management
MODULE II (Social Skills)
1. Social Skills:-
Social skills are skills that promote effective communication with others. There are various
social skills as well as several different ways in which we communicate on a daily basis. Social
skills include written, verbal, nonverbal and visual communication used to relay a message to
others. Common ways in which you exercise your social skills are:
o The language you use
o The tone, pitch and volume of your voice
o Physical gestures you make
o Your facial expressions
o Your body language
o Eye contact with others when communicating

The following are a few of the many important social skills you should possess as a
professional:
 Observation
 Active listening
 Conflict resolution
 Empathy
 Written and verbal communication
 Mirroring
 Cooperation
 Relationship management
2. Making an impact through social skills :-
Having social skills have their benefits and if we develop social skills and are cordial within
our workplace, we are known to develop social capital.
“social capital, involves the potential of individuals to secure benefits and invent solutions to
problems through membership in social networks.”
Thus, benefits of developing social skills are :-
 People will like working with you.
 When you ask for help, people provide it.
 Others will understand your boundaries.
 Clients will love you.
 You’ll nail your job interviews.

How to enhance social skills :-

a) Improve your emotional intelligence
b) Look inwards
c) Practice effective communication skills
d) Fake it till you make it
e) Ask more than you speak
f) Give compliments
 g) Be polite
h) Use open body language and non-verbal communication
i) Read the news
j) Don’t let the thoughts get the best of you
k) Start small
3. Creating a powerful first impression :-
 Be on Time.
 Present Yourself Appropriately.
 Be Yourself.
 Have a Winning Smile!
 Be Open and Confident.
 Use Small Talk.
 Be Positive.
 Be Courteous and Attentive.
4. Assessing the situation :-
a) Notice an occurrence out of the ordinary.
b) Decide "in your gut" that something is a miss or unacceptable.
o Ask yourself, "Could I play a role here?"
o If no one intervenes, what will likely happen?
o Is someone else better placed to respond? Are they available? Will they?
o What would be my purpose in responding?
c) Assess your options for giving help.
d) Determine the potential risks of taking action.
e) Are there risks to myself?
f) Are there risks to others? (e.g. potential retaliation against the person being "helped")
g) Is there a low risk option?
h) How could I reduce risks?
i) Is there more information I can get to better assess the situation?
j) Decide whether to act - now or later
5. Being zealous without being offensive :-
o Focus on what is important to the other person- Be “Other-centered”
o Respect boundaries
o Make requests, not demands
o Note non-verbal behaivour
6. Traits of a person with high social skills :-
o They show an appreciation for others
o They listen deeply- listen with your eyes, mind, heart
o They’re enthusiastic
o They use body language effectively
o They’re grateful
7. Self-awareness :-
A) Seeing the other side- A person may not be able to stay optimistic all the time specially in
adverse situations. Still, if he without being biased to a situation and analysing only one
 side of the situation, he should try staying calm and composed and should also analyse the
other side of the matter as well. He should look after the pros and cons of the situation and
make a valid, logical and suitable decision accordingly.
B) Giving in without giving up – Give up feels like failure whereas giving in feels like
acceptance that you can’t change. Thus, giving in a positive feeling rather than giving up.
8. Life positions :- (You and only you can choose your mindset)
Life positions are basic beliefs about self and others, which are used to justify decision and
behaviour. Life positions described by Eric Berne (1962/1976) in an article entitled
“Classification of Positions”.
He delineated 4 positions :
o I’m okay, You are okay (good)
o I’m not okay, you are okay (depressive)
o I’m okay, you are not okay (Paranoid)
o I’m not okay, you are not okay (Futile)
9. Self-perception :-
o Perception affects communication and communication affects perception—it is an
ongoing cycle of influence.
o Perception shapes how we interpret others’ communication and how we ourselves
communicate.
o At the same time, communication influences our perceptions of people and situations.
The two processes are intricately intertwined.
a) Emotional self-awareness :- Recognizing and understanding one’s emotions; it is the
differentiation of emotion and impact
b) Self-Regard :- Respecting oneself. Analysing strengths and weaknesses, knowing inner
strength and confidence. How to do it:-
1. Make list of your strength and positive attributes
2. Learn to accept compliments /comment
3. Don’t keep putting yourself down
4. Stop apologizing
5. Try new things
6.Spend time with those who help you to feel good about yourself
7.Treat yourself with respect and consideration
8. Smile at other people and look them in the eyes
9.Be aware of your body language
10. Always think positive
c) Self- actualization :- Quest (aim) to improve oneself.
 Physiological needs:- water, breading, food, sleep ,etc.
Safety needs:- health, shelter, job, etc
Love belonging needs:- love family friendship
Esteem:-Self esteem, confidence, achievements, respect by others
Self- Actualization:- Morality, creativity, acceptance of facts, etc.
10. Self Expression :-
a) Emotional Self Expression
o Open expression of feelings
o Verbally & Non verbally
b) Assertiveness
o Communicating feelings, beliefs, thoughts openly
o Defending them in socially acceptable ways
o Non offensive & Non destructive
c) Independence
o Self directed
o Decision making, planning,
o Autonomy
MODULE III : (INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS)

1. Interpersonal relationships :-
Interpersonal relationship at workplace is nothing but close relationship between two
employees working at the same place. Interpersonal relationships require good effort from the
employees to nurture and maintain. A healthy interpersonal relationship gives an employee the
most joy and satisfaction.
 A strong association among individuals working together in the same organization.
 Ought to share a special bond for them to deliver their level best.
 It is essential for individuals to be honest with each other for a healthy interpersonal
relationship and eventually positive ambience at the workplace.
Interpersonal relationships can include your partner, loved ones, close friends,
acquaintances, co-workers, and many others who make up the social connections in your
life.
Interpersonal relationships for an individual are–

Personal growth and development

Growth and enjoyment
Sense of security
Context of understanding
Interpersonal needs
Establishing personal identity
Interpersonal relationships for manager/leader –

Understanding self
Building a positive functional multidisciplinary team
Improving intra and/or inter team communication, coordination and cooperation
Improved decision making and problem solving

2. Importance of Interpersonal relationships at workplace :-

a) Problem solving- allow people to discuss problems
b) Alignment with business goals- communication is better to communicate goals
c) Trust- improve trust and workplace communication
d) Change management- better understand change and align with it
e) Company culture- helps improve organization culture
f) Employee recognition- recognize good work and give constructive feedback
g) Workplace miscommunication- less miscommunication due to open communication
environment
h) Personal relationships- helps build healthy relationships
i) Effective management and leadership- poor interpersonal relationships can avoid confusion
and poor communication with their employees
j) Employee success- helps employees do their job successfully.
k) Conflict management- resolve conflicts in a calm and timely manner
l) Career development- bring career progressions
 m) Remote work- continue to drive engaging workplace conversations
n) Crisis management- ability to drive interpersonal communication within the workplace
3. Stages of interpersonal relationships
In a 1980 study psychologist George Levinger identified the five stages of interpersonal
relationships: (ABCDE)

1. First Stage – Acquaintance

Acquaintance refers to knowing each other. To start relationship individuals need to know each
other well.

Two individuals might meet at some place and instantly hit it off. People feel attracted to each
other and decide to enter into a relationship.

Common friends, social gatherings, same organizations also help people meet, break the ice,
get acquainted with each other and start a relationship.

2. Second Stage – The Build up Stage

This is the stage when the relationship actually grows. Individuals are no longer strangers and
start trusting each other.

Individuals must be compatible with each other for the relationship to continue for a longer
period of time. Individuals with similar interests and backgrounds tend to gel with each other
more as compared to individuals from diverse backgrounds and different objectives.

The build up stage in a relationship is often characterized by two individuals coming close,
being passionate and feeling for each other.

3. Third Stage – Continuation Stage

This is the stage when relationship blossoms into lasting commitments. It is when people after
knowing each other well decide to be in each other’s company and tie the knot.

Trust and transparency is essential for the charm to stay in relationship forever.

4. Fourth Stage – Deterioration

Not all relationships pass through this stage. Lack of compatibility, trust, love and care often
lead to misunderstandings and serious troubles in relationship.

Individuals sometimes find it extremely difficult to adjust with each other and eventually
decide to bring their relationship to an end.

Compromise is an integral part of every relationship. Individuals failing to compromise with

each other find it difficult to take the relationship to the next level.
 5. Fifth Stage – The Termination Stage

The fifth and the last stage is the end of a relationship.

Relationship terminates due to any of the following reasons

 Death of any one partner

 Divorce
 Separation

4. States of Ego- (Transactional analysis)

Transactional Analysis (TA) is is a psychoanalytic theory and method of therapy, developed by Eric
Berne during the 1950s. Transactions refer to the communication exchanges between people. During
a conversation with someone, the person starting the communication will give the ‘transaction
stimulus’ and then the person receiving this stimulus (or message of communication) will give the
‘transaction response’. Transactional analysis is the method used to analyses this process of
transactions in communication with others. It requires us to be aware of how we feel, think and behave
during interactions with others.

TA recognized that the human personality is made up of three "ego states"; each of which is an entire
system of thought, feeling, and behavior from which we interact with each other. The Parent, Adult
and Child ego states and the interaction between them form the foundation of transactional analysis
theory.

TA believes that we have three different states or ways of being during interactions, which are; the
child ego state, the parent ego state, and the state of adult. Which state we are in during an interaction
depends on a few factors, such as how we have been conditioned to act or react from childhood, any
past traumas which now cause us to act in a certain way during particular interactions or situations,
and how the other person we are interacting with is treating us/ what ego state they are in when
speaking to us.

a) Child ego- There are two subdivisions of the child state; The adapted child and the free child
ego states. This is when we interact and respond to someone based on our past conditioning of
internal emotions, felt in childhood, so when we revert back to our thinking and feeling from
when we were children. The child ego state is built on any reinforcements we were given in
childhood, either positive or negative, to behave or not behave in a certain way, that still
conditions and affects our interactions today. The adapted child state conforms and acts in
accordance to others wishes in order to please them and be seen as good and liked, but it also
has a rebellious side when faced with perceived conflict and causes responses of resistance,
hostility, and emotional reactivity. The free child ego state can be creative, spontaneous, playful
and pleasure seeking.
b) Parent ego- There are two subdivisions of the parent state; The critical/ controlling parent state
and the nurturing parent state. This is behaviour and thinking patterns we have been taught
from our past interactions with our parents and other authority figures (teachers, grandparents
etc). Berne believed our experiences during our first five years of life contributed to the parent
 ego state. This state holds a lot of judgments on how someone or something is, i.e., it that state
where we find ourselves having a lot of ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’ about something. People
are in this state when they are reactive to a situation and act out of their conditioning, copying
how their parents (or another authority figure) treated them and others, instead of analysing
each situation afresh in the here and now. It is when we use are voice of authority towards
someone. The critical parent is disapproving in a harsh and possibly aggressive way, whereas
the nurturing parent tries to take over a situation in more of a rescuing way, trying to sooth
others which can be very inappropriate when talking to other adults rather than children.
c) Adult ego- Unlike the other two, the adult state does not have any subdivisions. The adult state
interacts with people and its environment in the here and now, not from past conditioning or
how other people have told them to be. This state is more open, more rational, and less quick
to make harsh judgments on a situation or person. When communication takes place from the
adult state, we are more likely to be respectful, make compromises, listen fully to others, and
have healthier social interactions.

How do ego states interact and effect communication-

The three states of child, parent and adult effect how we receive, perceive and respond to
information or communication from someone.

Berne observed that people need strokes, the units of interpersonal recognition, to survive and
thrive. Understanding how people give and receive positive and negative strokes and changing
unhealthy patterns of stroking are powerful aspects of work in transactional analysis.
Transactional analysis believes that adult to adult communication/ transactions leads to the most
effective and healthy communication thus relationships with others.

The different types of transactions below explain how interactions from the different ego states
interact with each other.
Transactional Analysis: Combinations of transactions –
 a) Complementary transaction - whatever ego state that the sender is in, their
communication reaches or impacts the desired ego state of the receiver, thus the
receiver responds in a way that complements the sender's ego state instead of
challenging it. Eg. Q- What it is it? A- Three O’clock.
b) Crossed transaction- when the ego state of the sender does not reach the desired
or intended ego state of the respondent, thus they respond to the sender in a
conflicting way. Eg- Q- What it is it? A- Forget about what time it is, get that
report finished.
c) Ulterior transaction- Ulterior transactions are when the sender outwardly gives
a message to the receiver that sounds like its coming from his adult state to the
receiver's adult state. Eg- Q- What it is it? A- What time do you think it is? Q-
Hundred o’clock? A- Exactly!
6. Social Responsibility –
 Meaning- Accepting ideas and beliefs of others while also respecting and caring for
peers/others feelings in order to accomplish a task.
 Social Responsibility and Justice- Equity, social justice, and developing interpersonal
skills and relationships in a physical activity setting.
 Social Responsibility at workplace (CSR)- It is the continuing commitment by business
to behave ethically and contribute to economic development while improving the
quality of life of the workforce and their families as well as of the local community and
society at large

Why CSR?
 Business uses scarce resources of society
 Government alone cannot tackle problems of inclusive growth
 Business should supplement Government’s efforts in addressing social challenges
we face today.
 Business cannot succeed in a society which fails.
Types of CSR-
Types of corporate social responsibility

o Philanthropy—charity drives and sponsorship.

o Volunteering—plant trees, give blood, community clean ups.
o Environmental leadership—recycling, carbon neutral.
o Ethical labour practices—generous paid parental leave, competitive salaries.
o Economic responsibility—company pays its taxes, invests back into
communities, pays competitive wages.

Factors influencing ethical managerial behaviour at workplace-

Steps Involved to be social responsible at workplace –
Step 1: Find socially responsible co-workers.
Step 2: Help one co-worker to recruit others
Step 3: Use the first charity as the reason to talk about more charities.
Step 4: Start with simple charity events in the office.
Step 5: Make social responsibility a regular part of the workplace.

7. Handling tough conversations –

What is a Difficult Conversation?
A difficult conversation is one whose primary subject matter is potentially contentious and/or
sensitive and may elicit strong, complex emotions that can be hard to predict or control.

How to Handle Difficult Conversations-

o Determine the purpose of the conversation
o Adopt the right approach
o Recognise and manage your emotional state
o Challenge you own assumptions and beliefs
o Plan the exchange
o Provide an opportunity for preparation
o Open the conversation
o Present your side of the story
o Listen to their side of the story
o Handle reactions with care
o Find the middle ground and reach an amicable solution