Page | of The Circles Of Influence a sates www. follow-tt.com http:/follow-it.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/circles-of-influence,jpg 8/9/2017Control “The things | can change” “The things | can’t change”DISTRESS TOLERANCE HANDOUT 11 * (Distress Tolerance Worksheets 8-Ga) Radical Acceptance (When you cannot keep painful events and emotions from coming your way.) poe 1. Radical means all the way, complete and total, 2. Its accepting in your mind, your heart, and your body. 3, I's when you stop fighting realty, stop throwing tantrums because realty is not the way you want it, and let go of bitterness. WHAT IS RADICAL ACCEPTANCE? WHAT HAS TO BE ACCEPTED? 1. Reality is as itis (the facts about the past and the present are the facts, even if you don't ike them). 2. There are limitations on the future for everyone (but only realistic limitations need. to be accepted) 8, Everything has a cause (including events and situations that cause you pain and suffering). 4, Life can be worth living even with painful events init WHY ACCEPT REALITY? 1. Rejecting reality does not change reality. 2. Changing reality requires first accepting reality. 8. Pain can't be avoided; it is nature's way of signaling that something is wrong. 4, Rejecting reality turns pain into suffering. 5. Refusing to accept realty can keep you stuck in unhappiness, bittemess, anger, ‘sadness, shame, or other painful emotions, 6. Acceptance may lead to sadness, but deep calmness usuelly follows, 7. The path out of hell is through misery. By refusing to accept the misery that is Part of climbing out of hel, ou fall back into hell From DBT Stl Ting Handouts and Woche, Second Ello, by Marana M Unehan. Copigh! 215 ty Marsha M.Lioahan, Perms ‘Sono potcopy his handout egraned fo purchaser DBT Shit Thing Nanna an Weare, Second Econ, and OT Sil Tig Manual Second Eaten, 1 prsonal use ond us with nevi leriony. (S00 pape of he paca deals)DISTRESS TOLERANCE HANDOUT 11A, Radical Acceptance: Factors That Interfere RADICAL ACCEPTANCE IS NOT: Approval, compassion, love, passivity, or against change. | 1. You don't have the skills for acceptance; you do not know FACTORS THAT INTERFERE WITH ACCEPTANCE | how to accept really painful events and facts. | 2. You believe that If you accept a painful event, you are making light of itor are approving of the facts, and that ‘nothing will be done to change or prevent future painful events. } 3. Emotions get in the way (unbearable sadness; anger at the person or group that caused the painful event; rage at the injustice of the world; overwhelming shame about who ‘you are; guilt about your own behavior) | 0 Other: Fiom DBT Skis Taning Handouts and Worksheets, Second Eaton by Marsha M. Linehan. Copytigh 2015 by Marsha M_Linehn. Pexis- onto photocopy this Nandout is ranted puchasore of DBT Stile Thing Mendouts and Worksheets, nan DBT Sh ‘Taling Manual Socond Eaton, 1a pereonaluse and uso wih nchidalclentzonly-(See page fs packal ordeals)DISTRESS TOLERANCE HANDOUT 13 * (Distress Tolerance Worksheets 8, 8a, 10) Willingness Willingness Is readiness to enter and Participate fully in life and living, Find a WILLING RESPONSE to each situation. Willingness is DOING JUST WHAT IS NEEDED: * In each situation. ‘+ Wholeheartedly, without dragging your feet. Willingness is listening very carefully to your WISE MIND, and then ing from your WISE MIND. Willingness is ACTING WITH AWARENESS that you are connected to the universe ((o the stars, people you like and don't like, the floor, etc). ! at Replace WILLFULNESS with WILLINGNESS, * Willfulness is REFUSING TO TOLERATE the moment. | ‘+ Wilfulness is refusing to make changes that are needed. | * Willfuiness is GIVING UP. ‘+ Wilfulness is the OPPOSITE OF “DOING WHAT WORKS.” * Willuiness is trying to FIX EVERY SITUATION. * Willuiness is insisting on BEING IN CONTROL. + Wilfulness is ATTACHMENT TO “ME, ME, ME” and “what | want right now!” WILLINGNESS, STEP BY STEP 1. OBSERVE the wilfulness. Label it, Experience it 2, RADICALLY ACCEPT that at this moment you feel (and may be acting) wilful. You cannot fight wilfulness with wilfulness. 3. TURN YOUR MIND toward acceptance and wilingness. 4, Try HALF-SMILING and a WILLING POSTURE. ‘5. When wilfulness is immovable, ASK, "WHAT'S THE THREAT?” Situations where I notice my own: Willfulness: Willingness: fom DBT Stile Tang Handouts ane Worksheets, Second Eaton, by Marshal. Lnahan.Copyght 205 by Marsha M. Linehan. Peis. ‘ee photocopy ths handout it grared lo purchasers of DBT Shs Tahing Hardots ond Woraheas, Second Eater, and DBT Shs ‘aig Manual, Second Eel. orsoal ws and use win nda eset ony (Se page No he pecker als)Radical Acceptance Realities that | am refusing to accept: et 2 3. 4 Behaviors that I do when | am refusing to accept a reality (may look like giving up, @ tantrum, manipulating, arguing, etc.) 1 2. How lexperience suffering when | refuse to accept reality: 5.wi hat happened in the distressing situation? ‘What past events happened that led up to this situation? What role did you play in creating this situation? ‘What do you have control of in this situation? ‘What don't you have control of in this situation? ‘What was your response to this situation? How did your response affect your own thoughts and feelings? How did your response affect the thoughts and feelings of other people?How could you have changed your response to this situation so that it led to less suffering for yourself and others? How could the situation have occurred differently if you had decided to radically accept the situation?