132 5 ECOSEXUALITY

LMM: And because I am a want-to-be priest, I add St. Juliana Norwich’s Prayer: “ALL IS X V I I
WELL, ALL IS WELL. ALL MANNER OF THINGS ARE WELL.”
Amen Lilith´s Words: I Love Being a Woman

NDE: Amen Sabine Lichtenfels

Saugerties and the Bronx, New York, August 28, 2013, 3:00 PM
The First Night: Meeting Lilith

T HE FIRST EVENING on Malta, before I fell asleep, I focused on the purpose of my

journey. I asked for dreams in which I would encounter an elementary female power: a
guardian of the historical knowledge of Malta. I wanted to create a personal connection with
this historical background, and I wanted to get to know more about my spiritual task here on
Malta. I soon fell asleep and dreamt at first of many temples.
One image I remembered clearly: in one area of the temple I see a little girl who has just
started to crawl. It is my task to take care of her. Next to me stands my lover Pierre, who says
“See what I am doing. I do nothing more than observe this being. Through that I seem to
understand her more and more. I do not intervene in any way. This is exactly what seems to
give her protection. Her name is Lilith.”
With these words I awoke again. Lilith? How did that name come into my dream now?
Wasn’t she the aspect of the feminine who was condemned in the Bible as evil personified?
Eve was the one who was married to Adam and who was driven from the Garden of Eden by
God. But Lilith was the aspect of the female that could never be trapped. She was the wild
aspect of the female, who, despite all attempts, could not be tamed and who remained active
in the background throughout the millennia. Wherever she was denied freedom, she caused
destruction.
And now, was I taking care of this female aspect in the form of Lilith at an age when
she was just starting to crawl? I interpreted the young Lilith as a symbol of a new cultural
impulse, which now wanted to be nurtured and perceived. It seems to be our task as women
to rediscover this female aspect within us and to take care of it without interacting or com-
menting. Lilith seemed to be an embryonic aspect of female creation, a proclamation of a new
cultural impulse. I fell asleep again.
I am again in the temple. There are tiers of seats carved into the stone, like an outdoor
theater. I have been rehearsing a theater piece with young people. It is intended to bring the
different human archetypes on stage. We have been rehearsing for two days and today is our
opening performance. The last preparations are being made.

133
134 5 ECOSEXUALITY PART TWO: ECOSEXUAL WEDDINGS 5 135

I woke up surprised at how many places my soul had wandered, and I was grateful for I, Lilith, am Nammu’s wild daughter who could never be caught. I was Adam’s wild bride and
the first hints. I felt that here on Malta I was facing more than ever the task of connecting I ran away before Eve—the the original mother
mother——was changed into his bride, supposedly created from
images from the past in a meaningful way with the present. The sun was rising and while I his rib. But I have never submitted to a man. I was condemned by a god who I have never accepted
was writing my dreams into my diary, I noticed how many hints I had already received in as divine. This is why he could never destroy my wild nature.
the first night. Many ancient peoples perceived the Goddess and the snake as their ancestors. Religious pic-
I thought about my dream and looked for a connection to the cosmic female source of tures show how Eve gives the man life while the snake winds itself around the apple tree, the tree of
knowledge. I tried to hear within myself the voice that led me here. I asked, “Why do I dream life. These are pictures of the original religion of creation, while Eve was still the mother of all that
of you? Do you have hints for me about my being here?” Listening to my inner voice, I very lives. The human being was driven from paradise by cultural changes in history. I too was driven
quickly received answers. from paradise, as the idea of revenge awoke inside me through the infinite pain I experienced
You are here to reawaken female knowledge that has developed over millennia and has when I saw what they did to Eve and to all women. This idea brought me a lot of power, but it
been fought against for many centuries. Support it to find a new form and support its con- also drove me from my original paradise and destroyed it.
centration to a new field-building
building power. According to the Kabbalah, paradise can only be regained on Earth through the reunion of the
“Who are you, Lilith?” I wrote down the answers. genders. Even God, it says, has to be reunited with his female counterpart Shechina—also called
the heavenly Eve.
What has to be achieved now is what I call a culture based on partnership. An essential step
Lilith’s Words: I Love Being a Woman on this path is to reconnect with the female original sources. Here on Malta you will find all of
the essential information, still intact, about the tree of life, the snake, the original mother and the
I am the power you find, not yet integrated, in many women: in their wishes and fears, their historical dream of life and love of a female power that gives birth to itself.
misery and their deeper longings. I am a historical primal power who cannot be killed. I have “What happened to the original dream of the Earth, to the personal dream of love which
been through a long history of transformation. I am the female historical archetype who is able to Manu and Meret had dreamt? What happened to the wish for a culture of peace based on
initiate a field-building
building process of societal healing connected with the universal processes of healing partnership? What has to be done for the healing and manifestation of this original dream?”
and the prehistoric culture of peace. This dream bears within itself a picture of partnership which is no longer bound to conditions,
Connect as deeply as you possibly can with my guiding principle so that you are led along the but which takes place on the path of two freely-loving
loving humans who include on their path of love
path of the Mother of All Life, where you will meet my wild and untamable power for a historic many other men and women. This kind of faithfulness develops from a free and compassionate
new beginning. The principle is: I am a woman. I am grateful for that because I love being a attitude towards the world and from deep communication about this compassion.
woman. In early history, the hearth was the social focal point and the sacred place of a community. The
This statement initiates a complete revolution of the present culture’s conditions of life. It woman was the heart, not only for one man and her children but for the whole tribe. There is an
is your path to a feminine knowledge of peace. This statement, spoken in full truth, requires a archaic and elementary longing inside me calling for community. It calls for forms of life that are
profound change in the world view of the woman and a return to her true and most beautiful again integrated into a greater context. The memory of this is stored in my cells. It is a memory of
sources. It requires steps of liberation from the corset of society in which ways of behavior that do an old form of matriarchal living together in which the hearth was the center of the community
not correspond to my true universal source of life were forced upon me for thousands of years. The and therefore also the social and religious center for the blossoming of the whole community.
rupture that occurred when my original female sources of knowledge were stolen is represented in I want to live in a community with men and women, with children, animals and plants so
the history of religion as the fall of humankind through original sin. As all women are descendants that I am not continually forced to hide my actual being from the others. Perception and con-
of Eve, the whole female gender sinned with her. What has been forgotten is that far older myths tact are forces of life that are as elementary as breathing. If these are possible, then I love being a
of creation existed around Eve. Originally Eve meant “Mother of All That Lives.” Before she was woman, because I can then be a woman to my full extent. My fulfillment as a woman has always
called Eve, she was called Nammu. taken place within community. This almost biological longing still lives in my cells.
136 5 ECOSEXUALITY PART TWO: ECOSEXUAL WEDDINGS 5 137

Under present societal conditions, I am forced to confine this longing for contact, continuity Yet the cruelty, and the fear of cruelty, is not part of sexuality itself, but rather the result of a sexual-
and faithfulness to contexts that are far too small. To make it possible for love and Eros to unfold ity that has been misdirected and suppressed for thousands of years.
in a way that corresponds to my actual femininity, community is needed: a larger love-community
based on trust. The new human peace culture depends on our ability to build functioning com- What a start! It was the first morning on Malta and before I had seen anything of the island,
munities. It is strange that humans can live at all without community. In the patriarchal culture, I had already traveled with depth into these issues. My dream had not only led me into the
humans have been separated from their natural universal tribal context. Communities that do past, but had also awakened thoughts of the future. Lilith’s words created a direct connection
form nowadays always fail because of the issue of love. They always fail because of the unresolved between past and present. Lilith had been quite unknown to me so far. Even though I knew
issues of competition and jealousy. that many women from the modern women’s movements referred to her, I had not previously
“What was healing and special about the early peace cultures?” given her serious attention. I got up, deep in thought.
In the early cultures, we were all connected with Mother Earth and our life was in her service. Now it was time to take care of my physical well-being. In a nearby supermarket, I
This state of being connected with Creation, we called love. Together we formed one big inter- bought food for a small breakfast, arranged it as a celebration, and enjoyed eating in peace
connected family. All love relationships were in connection with the greater whole. Private love on my little terrace. I thought about my first experiences here and tried to find a structure for
relationships did not exist. And this is where I come to the essential point of my being a woman, the start of my time on Malta. I was in surroundings that, except for what I had seen in my
the point that has been oppressed and denied the most: my sexuality. dreams, were completely unknown to me.
I am a woman. And as I am a woman, I am a sexual being. And I love being a sexual being.
A woman who makes this statement today in the 21st century needs revolutionary courage, which
so far is only rudimentarily present in only a few women, even though we seem to live in the age of Female Sexuality and Religiosity
so-called
called sexual liberation. This statement means:
“Our culture has restricted Eros to the private sphere of two individuals and has thus pre-
Letting go of shame. vented us from experiencing the deeper zones of sexual magic. But these zones will not let
Letting go of the fear of violence. themselves be ignored, as sure as we are human beings. They continue to live underground
Letting go of the fear of suppression and punishment. in secret fantasies, they serve the advertising industry as subconscious seduction, they vibrate
Letting go of false morals. in the bodies of whores and saints, they plentifully supply literature with its imagination,
Letting go of the fear of the envy of rivals. they forcefully break out in sexual excesses that are then reported in the press. Society has
Letting go of the norms of the beauty industry. relegated the explosive power of Eros to the domains of crime and pornography. Today it is
Letting go of the religions of the patriarchal culture. this sin which is bringing about the downfall of society, because we are no longer prepared to
Letting go of the old picture of love. lead this false existence.” Dieter Duhm.
Letting go of powerlessness towards men.
Letting go of sexual comparison and pressure to perform. After I received this comprehensive introduction, I asked myself, “Why had Lilith sudden-
ly appeared now? Why had Eve been brought into the game? Why wasn’t she just called
There is hardly anything that women don’t have to let go of in order to freely claim this statement Nammu as she was when she appeared to me in the stone circle? Was it possible that excessive
with no secret guilt feelings. A historical fear of sexuality has been lying in the cells of the female since longing for love was also the historical background of the biblical story of Eve who seduced
the development of patriarchy. The intensity of this fear increases immediately when the woman Adam to eat too early from the tree of insight?”
does not bind her “yes” to sexuality to only one man. Violence, demolition and destruction of all ele- I took my voice recorder and left the hotel to take a short walk, hoping for further in-
ments of the female, and sexual atrocities of a history that went wrong between men and women lie sights. Directly behind the house was wild macchia shrub, with small trees, bushes, flowering
today as a sediment of fear in the cells of the woman as soon as she approaches the issue of sexuality. rock gardens and bright shining stones. I was grateful to have this wild piece of nature so
138 5 ECOSEXUALITY PART TWO: ECOSEXUAL WEDDINGS 5 139

close to me. This was not to be expected on this densely populated island. I walked a few in a greater and deeper connection with the knowledge of healing. Nobody knows the
hundred meters up a little hill, sat down at a beautiful shady spot under a tree with a view of cultural historical false turns as intimately as she does and nobody is as deeply connected
the coast, and listened into myself again. I inhaled deeply of the scented air and listened to with the new growth of healing knowledge.
the distant sounds of the harbor. Lilith’s introductory words from this morning were still in She could never be domesticated and she knows the dream of personal love of Manu and
my mind. I thought of the small group from the tribe of the builders of the Almendres stone Meret, in its clear and undistorted form. She is Meret’s wild sister, but Lilith could never be
circle who had sailed from Portugal to Malta. “Where exactly did they land? Would I be able seduced by the offers of Manu. Whoever follows Lilith’s traces will connect with the female
to find their traces?” power of revolution and will simultaneously be led to the roots of prehistory from which
I am looking for a connection to prehistory: for a connection to the tribe of the stone Lilith comes. In these roots, one will find powerful knowledge for sexual healing, and dis-
circle in Portugal. A small group left Portugal to find a new home. They crossed the sea and cover sexuality as the essential point where peace knowledge was destroyed and wounded.
were led to Malta. On Malta they founded a school for peace, in which the knowledge of I spoke these words into my voice recorder and once more consciously felt into the
peace was protected and passed on. “Why am I now receiving the name Lilith? Why is the sound of the statement:
name Eve appearing? Is this in any way connected to the prehistory for which I am looking?” I am a woman and I am grateful for that as I love being a woman.
I did not have to wait a long time for an answer. The dream of last night had given me easy I felt that more explanation was needed than the early morning introduction and so, on
access to my intuition. the spur of the moment, I listened to Lilith again.
The original female sources have been given different names during history but the pow-
ers are actually the same everywhere. Malta has a rich cultural history. There are many layers
of information here. One line will lead you to prehistory, to the temples of love, to Manu and Lilith’s Words: Continuation
Meret, to the dream priestesses and the oracle priestesses. If you are patient, you will come
into contact with this information. I am a woman and I love being a woman. I am a woman and therefore a sexual being and as this
To come into that contact, you will probably have to work through many different lay- sexual being, I am a woman who relates in loving and sensual connection to more than one man
ers of culture. You should also expect a lot of resistance. Priests came early to Malta, bring- and wants to unite with them on a geistig, sensual and sexual level. Sometimes it is difficult to
ing the religion of the Old Testament here. The Phoenicians lived on Malta. The apostle understand how much courage for truth such a statement needs today. A woman needs to overcome
Paul was stranded here and bitten by the snake. The early Christians settled here. Many her fear of men. She will attract the enmity of many women and the contempt of many men.
other spiritual movements were resident here. In addition to the knowledge of peace, you Many women become angry as they see a repetition of dependence on the man in the posi-
will find the first signs of decline and the signs of arising destructive forces and concepts of tive affirmation for heterosexuality. Now she does not only want to be there for one man, she
power over others. even wants to sacrifice herself for many. This creates an even bigger dependency. Many women
Lilith has her roots in prehistory. But the Lilith I met in my dream, and who speaks perceive in this statement a boycott against the freedom and independence they are seeking. In
to me now as an adult, is a person who unites past and present inside herself. She paves some, this desire for independence has become so strong that it fuels disappointment in men and
the way to a new future. We will find in her the seed of a culture based on partnership, hatred of men and leads to an unwillingness to participate in the erotic attraction between men
which fully affirms feminine knowledge.1 Lilith knows separation. She knows the pain and women. For these women, their goal is certainly not peace between the genders. Revenge has
and the state of being disconnected. She was mistreated and hunted. Lilith was wild and a much stronger power for them than the wish to create peace between the genders. All this is
indomitable. She knew revenge; she resisted the forced patriarchal forms of motherliness. understandable from a historical viewpoint. Interestingly you will notice that particularly those
She took care of the pure and elementary sensual dream that could not be squeezed into women who strongly stand for independence follow images of submission to the man in their sexual
any patterns, and to do this she seemingly stood up even against Nammu, who was called fantasies. The lust for sexual submission has unconsciously grown so strong that they are shocked
Eve in later cultures. But particularly because she has been through all of this, she has because they cannot bring this desire into a meaningful connection with a self-image
image of a free and
comprehensive knowledge and comprehensive experience of female history. She is now independent woman.
140 5 ECOSEXUALITY PART TWO: ECOSEXUAL WEDDINGS 5 141

They do not yet know fulfilled sexuality is what changes the pictures of submission and vio- The people of Malta already knew this thousands of years ago. Without the patience and infi-
lence to pictures of real compassion and contact. Fulfilling sexual experiences give rise to genuinely nite bounteousness of Nammu we would never have prevailed. Nammu embodies eternal bounte-
free women. ousness. But my pain was much too strong for patience. Now, however, the time has come to bring
Only a few women can positively affirm this as the real female emancipation. Only a few this ancient mystery knowledge, this understanding of a sensual culture of peace to life once again.
can imagine that a free and independent woman wishes for full erotic contact with a man. So I “What happened? Why do all women and men feel that the longing for intimacy and
will speak for all those who fear speaking this out loud: As a free woman, it is my wish to enter partnership contradicts a free love-life? How was this in the early cultures?” I asked.
into partnership with men. As truly as I am a sexual being, I say as a woman: I need men. But Living with a false picture of love made us women change our natural concepts of love into
I need men neither as a tyrant nor as a hen-
hen-pecked
pecked husband, nor as a dominator, nor in his old concepts of possession and exclusion. That made it impossible to continue living the natural ma-
role as a preacher. I want a man as a genuinely potent lover who knows sensual love. I will neither triarchal sexual reality that would truly correspond to my actual original nature as a woman.
submit to him nor place myself above him and mother him, as neither answers my true sensual Sexuality is a universal form of encounter. It can definitely be wanted outside relationship. In the
longing. Also, I will not falsely bind him to me, as I have experienced through the last centuries existing society, however, it is only allowed in relationships.
that blackmail in love destroys exactly that which we had originally loved about each other. I will There is an aspect of sexuality that we created in former cultures through our intimate con-
make sure that the genuine free and lustful encounters with men for which I have wished for mil- nection to nature and to the Goddess. In sexual fertility rituals, we honored Eros itself as a cosmic
lennia become possible. celebration and a cosmic giving of thanks to Mother Earth. Fertility rituals were held publicly, in
Eros in its nature is free and cannot be directed artificially. The enlightenment that I am which we women could naturally reveal our sensual lust. This was not private sensual revelation
seeking does not occur in the world beyond. It takes place in my cells, earthly and elementarily. in front of an individual man. It was a temple celebration wherein we thanked Mother Earth by
Its nature is absolutely sexual. Here I refer to ancient female mystery knowledge which is slowly giving our sensuality. The men also did not perform the sexual act with us personally but in service
returning to the light of consciousness and which causes a natural shift in these times. But this shift of the Goddess. A woman who tried to attach a man to herself personally in the temple of love had
cannot be made until we once again honor our natural sexual source as a source of knowledge and failed in her service of the Goddess.
universal love. This kind of elementary, simple, sexual but also immense encounter between man and wom-
The friendship and faithfulness I also wish for from men arise from a different power than an has been suppressed in our present culture. A lack of understanding for the immensity of Eros
blackmail and false laws. I will support men in their development by showing them what I love itself is what has led to the suppression of women and through that to violence. Love and sexuality
and desire about them and what I do not. Real sexual surrender to a man does not create depen- were separated. This is why historically, the romantic troubadour and admirer of women de-
dence, but freedom. It was only as a result of my resignation that I seemed to withdraw for so long. veloped. He wanted to idolize a woman and made her unreachable. On the other hand, rapists
I followed the path of revenge because of my wild despair that the erotic world for which I was developed who follow the power of forbidden Eros. The prohibition of simultaneously sacred and
longing could not be created. It was because of my resignation that I seemingly entered restricted lustful aspects of love led to forms of sadism and masochism and to real violence, which runs as a
and exclusive relationships and made personal demands in love. But nobody can keep me impris- trail of blood, of unspeakable cruelty, through the whole history of patriarchy.
oned for long. Eros demands an opening and participation in the sensual world that exceeds all “What can we do today to fulfill the sexual aspect of our existence again? How can a
borders of marriage. woman who positively affirms Eros live in our present times?”
The picture of a sensual, lustful and lasting love contact is an anarchistic picture because the The longed-
longed-for
for manifestation of love in all its aspects needs the integration of the sacred aspect
laws of Eros have an anarchistic power that exceeds all false norms. A deeper faithfulness and of sexuality. And we need natural forms of community once more, where this truth can be lived.
permanence that’s no longer based on prohibitions and restrictions arises from the sensual recogni- What kind of historical cultural change can take place if we invest our caring power in the cre-
tion of the other gender and the acknowledgment of erotic reality. An ever-more more comprehensive ation of communities based on trust, rather than disguise, so as to live according to erotic reality?
revelation to the other opens this path of insight, leading to a faithfulness that is deeper than was How much fuel is used in cars in search for erotic contacts? How much substitute consumption is
possible in the system of marriage and exclusion of others. needed to silence erotic longings? There will be no peace on Earth as long as there is war in love.
142 5 ECOSEXUALITY PART TWO: ECOSEXUAL WEDDINGS 5 143

An awakening is demanded of us. As I am a woman, I unite the sexual and the sacred realities Earth and all its co-creatures. You do this despite the huge powers of destruction that are increasing
within myself. How could we allow sexuality to be separated from the religions for so long? I want at the end of the waning patriarchal age.
to be able to worship the sacred and holy character of life itself with all my lust for surrender. Of In this sense you will joyfully trust in the biblical sentence: “Follow me as I am with you
course I also want to love and worship a male’s powers. What fulfillment I experience when I am always, until the end of the world.” In this case you do not follow a guru, but give yourself, full
allowed to surrender truly and in full trust to the man who is my partner, knowing that he will of trust, to the Goddess: to the living aspects of the Earth. Imagine what sensual trust enters our
no longer abuse this surrender! cells if we can follow this biblical sentence in such a way that no fear can arise, as we perceive the
My female religious longing does not need churches or altars. Patriarchal religions developed protective powers of growth of the imminent in nature and can connect with it consciously and in
from the suppression of erotic and sexual reality. These religions were an instrument of power bodily perception.
against the erotic authority of female cultures. The symbols of that are Eve and the snake, banished From this perspective there arises a spirit of research, through which each woman who has
from paradise and recast as evil by the male God. But there is a sacred component of life itself. It come into contact with me feels challenged to develop and build conditions of life in which this
cannot be banished and has survived through thousands of years of destruction and oppression. biological trust can once again flourish. This is when we finally start to become political in a truly
This ancient sexual knowledge now makes itself heard once again. It has to do with the fact female way.
that matter also contains a sacred energy. The term matter comes from ‘mater,’ Latin for mother. This is of course only possible if you include and positively affirm sexual reality. As long as the
It means much more than objective lifeless mass. Matter carries consciousness with which we can woman has to deny sexual reality because of fear, she will work against material reality in general
communicate as surely as we have cellular knowledge and cellular memory. and she will experience the elementary power of life as a threat against which she has to protect
As a woman I will develop to become a powerful organ for the care of Mother Earth. I will herself.
take care that a spiritual field and a consciousness for these contexts can develop. You too should But if we are allowed to follow that track fully, then we reach a basic knowledge in our female
support this by placing yourself in the service of your higher femininity. The Earth is as much cells. They carry the information needed for our fulfillment. It is as if we remember an archaic
a body as we are. We can regain access to knowledge of the body, a cellular knowledge, through dream, a prehistoric state that holds the dream of a culture of peace.
the correct form of awareness, the correct perception and awareness of each other and through On the basis of this new reflection I am on the way to find a new relationship to myself as
entering a sensual presence for this Earth. A completely new concept of ecology develops out of a woman and as a historical being. Let yourself be guided, but this time no longer by leaders,
this awareness. no longer by laws made by patriarchy. Be guided instead by the universal powers of growth and
An ancient power of trust we had long forgotten emerges once again. It is the original trust guidance that are inherent in the original dream of paradise of the Earth and matter itself. In
in the elementary powers of nature herself. Through this trust it is possible to connect with these this sense my freedom is to place myself in the service of Mother Earth.
powers in such a way that they protect us. A great possibility of fulfillment lies in connection with Follow these tracks on Malta. Discover traces of the female original source that can be found
these powers. everywhere here. It will not be easy as many opposing powers have gathered during the centuries
“Which path are you following? How do we trust in the birth of a new culture in which and made me silent, but if you go through the resistances you will find a way to me and through
it is possible once again to freely and joyfully be a woman?” that also to the Goddess. You will understand Her language and make that possible for others too.
The longing exists. Within the longing also lies latent the information for and the path to Now take time to get to know this island.
reach its fulfillment. The longing exists because the possibility of fulfillment exists, just as thirst I was now feeling fully confronted at the very beginning of my journey with my female
only exists because there is also water. This way of perception leads every woman who comes into nature. Already I had a feeling that the sexual issue would be very central here on Malta.
touch with her female source to a theology of decision. It is the decision for reconnection and re- My impression was that I had come into contact with the female manifesto of lust and
entry to greater contexts of information and communication. Then your actions are no longer genuine religiosity beyond time. I felt challenged to visit and examine the temples with
arbitrary. Your life has become a prayer. This decision requires surrender to matter itself and to the this aspect in mind. Now I was ready to get started and to dive deeper into the secrets of
peace knowledge that lives accessible in matter itself. You must put yourself into the service of the prehistory.
144 5 ECOSEXUALITY

E N D N O T E X V I I I

1. For a more formal analysis of cultures based on partnerships, and its relation with feminine knowledge, Gender Queering Mother Earth
we refer to the pioneer work of Riane Eisler, in her classic, The Chalice and the Blade (San Francisco, Harper:
1987), and, more recently, The Real Wealth of Nations: Creating a Caring Economics (San Francisco, Berret- Debor ah A napol, Ph.D.
Koheler: 2008).

T HE TRADITIONS I’ve studied and taught for many years in my seminars on Tantra
and Pelvic Heart Integration all agree that feminine energy is breathed up from the
Earth and into the feet and the pelvis, while masculine energy is breathed down from above,
into the heart or the crown of the head. Pelvic Heart Integration includes a specialized form
of breathwork that is designed to harmonize masculine and feminine energies. One day
while I was engaged in this breathwork practice, I suddenly realized that I was instinctively
breathing masculine, rather than feminine, energy into my feet and pelvis. It felt so right! I
couldn’t imagine why I hadn’t done this before. In that moment the thought struck me like
a thunderbolt: What if Earth, what if Nature hirself,1 was not mother, not even female, but
male, or more likely both? What if Mother Earth and Father Earth were queer polyamorous
lovers engaged in Hieros Gamos, Sacred Union, not only with mythological gods and god-
desses, but within themselves and with each other?
While the queer deconstruction of gender informs us that we can find both feminine and
masculine qualities almost anywhere we look, gender plays a significant role in terms of both
our personal identities and our cultural predispositions. Gender tends to be one of the earliest
identities we assume. Most cultures have clear, although cross-culturally
culturally inconsistent, expecta-
tions for gender roles and have seen certain natural formations as possessing special powers,
either phallic or womb-like. For me, what’s important is not the argument about the validity of
gender as a concept, but rather becoming aware of the assumptions our culture has made about
the gender of our planet and noticing the implications of this worldview. Perhaps gender queer-
ing Mother Earth is a key not only to our eco-psychological health, but to our very survival!
For at least half a century modern psychology has accepted that health is correlated with
possessing a combination of those traits considered feminine and those considered masculine
(Bem, 1974). Historically, feminism has been a strong voice for the acceptance of women’s
expression of traditionally masculine behaviors and roles, while advocating for the expansion
of our concept of divinity to include Goddess as well as God. Meanwhile, the men’s move-
ment has encouraged men to reclaim their so-called feminine attributes, and queer theory
has informed us that the very concept of gender is essentialist, that is, socially constructed
and artificially confining.

145