Bloody Rat

By
Suhail ahmed
Ek writer ke ghar main kamre ka manzar. Sham ka waqt. Deewar
par aaina laga hai. Ek taraf kursi aur maiz pare hain jahan
writer kaam karta hai. Doosri taraf seating area hai.
Secretary dono paon maiz par charhaye ciggarette ke kash
laga rahi hai.Darwaze par dastak hoti hai.Wo foran bokhla
bokhla kar uth khari hoti hai. Khud to theak karti hai. Ek
khush libas shakhs dakhil hota hai jo filmon ka naamwar
adakar hai.

SECRETARY
Hello, Sir. Kaise hain aap? Please
sit. Maroofi sahab aane hi wale
honge unhon ne kaha aap ko itala
kardun.

ACTOR
Oh? Kuch pata hai kitni dair
lagegi? Nevermind. Main intezar
karlunga.
SECRETARY
Aap chai lenge ya softdrink?
ACTOR
Hmm? Coffee.

SECRETARY
Sure. Main abhi bana ke aati hun.
ACTOR
Pani milega?

SECRETARY
Of course. Main abhi laati hun?
ACTOR
Sure.

SECRETARY
Aap please bethiye.
ACTOR
Ji.

Secretary chali jaati hai. Adakar kamre ka achi tarah se

jaiza leta hai jaise kisi museum main ho. Wo aisi kaifiyat
main hai goya usse har choti se choti cheez mutasir kar rahi
ho. Uski nazar aaine par parti hai. Wo aaineki taraf jakar
khud ko ghor se usmein dekhta hai aur door hojata hai. Aisa
maloom hota hai jaise usse khud ko zyada dair dekhna raas
nahin aya. Wo us jaga se hat kar khara hota hai aur hawa
main apne signatures karta hai aur phir unhen hata deta hai
jaise samandar ki rait par tasveer banate hain. Secretary
tray main pani ka glass laati hai.
 2.

SECRETARY
Sir, Pani.
ACTOR
Shukriya.

SECRETARY
Main abhi Coffee laati hun.
ACTOR
Sure.

Wo chali jati hai. Wo usko awaz dekar kehna chahta hai lekin
zabt karleta hai aur beth kar pani ka ek ghoont bharta hai.
Pani ka glass rakh kar soch main gum hojata hai aur ussi
madhoshi main khara ho jata hai goya khud ko kisi kirdar
main dhal raha ho. Uth khara hota hai aur aage ki taraf ata
hai.
ACTOR
To be or not to be. That is the
question. Whether ’tis nobler in
the mind to suffer. The slings and
arrows of outrageous fortune.Or
take arms against the sea of
troubles. And by opposing end them.
To die; to sleep. No more; and by a
sleep to say we end....

Secretary dakhil hoti hai. Uski ahat sun kar khud ko

sanbhalta hai.
SECRETARY
Sir, Coffee.

ACTOR
Thanks. What’s your name?
SECRETARY
Gulshifteh.

ACTOR
Oh. Nice name. Iska matlab kya hai?
SECRETARY
Erm, iska matlab hai phoolon ki
khushbu ka sama.
ACTOR
Beautiful.
 3.

SECRETARY
Thank you. Sir, Can I have an
autograph? Meri Maa apki bohat bari
fan hain.

ACTOR
Sure.
SECRETARY
Main abhi apne bag se pen aur paper
laati hun.

ACTOR
Zarur.
Secretaty chali jaati hai. Adakar bethne ke liye ata hai ke
usse kuch girne ki awaz ati hai. Wo dar jata hai aur
Washroom ke darwaze ki taraf jata hai.
ACTOR
Kaun hai?
Secretary dakhil hoti hai.

SECRETARY
Sir, Maroofi sahab ki call ayi thi.
Wo thora late ho jayenge. Wo ek
International film grant ke event
main hain. Unhon ne kaha wo seedha
yaheen aap hi ke paas ayen. Aap
thori dair intezar karlen.
ACTOR
Oh...? Er.. Theak hai. Main intezar
karlunga.

SECRETARY
Sir, Autograph.
ACTOR
Uh. Sure.
Autograph sign karke deta hai.
SECRETARY
Thank you so much.

ACTOR
My pleasure.
SECRETARY
Sir, Mere jaane ka waqt hogaya hai.
If you don’t mind, main jaa sakti
(MORE)
 4.

SECRETARY (cont’d)
hun? Maroofi sahab will be here
anytime. Aap please beth jayen.
ACTOR
Yeah. Sure.
SECRETARY
Thank you. Bye. Aap se milkar bohat
khushi huwi.

ACTOR
Same here. Good bye. Uh. Excuse me?
SECRETARY
Ji?

ACTOR
Yahan e kuch girne ki awaz arahi
thi.
SECRETARY
Oh. Don’t worry sir. Yahan ek
chooha hai.
ACTOR
Oh? Acha. Alright.
SECRETARY
Okay. Good Bye, sir.
Adakar kursi par akar beth’ta hai. Dobara awaz ati hai. Dar
jata hai lekin is khayal se ke mahiz choohay hain khud ko
sanbhalne lagta hai. Maiz par pari akhbar utha kar dekhta
hai. Waraq palat’ta hai. Ek safhay ko ghor se dekhta hai aur
khafa hokar akhbar rakh deta hai. Dobara zor se awazen ati
hain. Wo dobara idhar udhar dekhta hai aur jaan’ne ki
koshish karta hai ke kaun hai? Itne main bijli chali jati
hai. Wo apni jaib se lighter talash karne lagta hai aur
bahar ki taraf jata hai ke roshni ajati hai. Mur kar dekhta
hai tou ek shakhs kursi par betha betha pata hai. Usko dekh
kar khaufzada hojata hai.
ACTOR
Kaun ho tum?

AADMI
Tum kaun ho?
ACTOR
I’m sorry?
 5.

AADMI
Don’t be sorry.
ACTOR
I mean. Aap yahan kaise aaye?

AADMI
Main? Main yaheen tha.
ACTOR
Acha. Kahan the? I mean kab se?
Main itni dair kamre main tha.
Maine tou nahin dekha apko.
AADMI
Tou ab dekh lo?

ACTOR
I beg your pardon?
AADMI
Pardoned.

ACTOR
Mera matlab hai us larki ne aapki
mojudgi ka zikr nahin kiya?
AADMI
Kiya tou tha?

ACTOR
Kab? Mujhe yaad nahin. Maine usse
poocha ke kuch awaz arahi hai tou
usne bataya yahan choohay bohat
hain.

AADMI
Acha? Tou mujhe chooha samajh lo.
ACTOR
Haha. Sure. Waise apko kisi ne
bataya hai aapka sense of humor
bohat bura hai.
AADMI
Ahan. Nahin tou. Kaun batayega
mujhe? Kiski itni himat?
ACTOR
Kya matlab? Koi dost ahbab. Mil
bethne wala aur kaun.
 6.

AADMI
Acha. Tou tumhari itala ke liye
tumhen bata dun ke mera koi dost
vost nahin hai.
ACTOR
Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.
Apni ghari ki taraf dekhta hai.

ACTOR (CONT’D)
Mera khayal hai mujhe nikalna
chahiye. Aapka taaruf?
AADMI
Itni jaldi kya hai? Main...
ACTOR
Mujhe ek dost se milne jana hai.
Main Maroofi se kabhi aur mil
lunga.

AADMI
Kaunsa dost?
ACTOR
Ji? Hai ek. Yaqeenan aap mere sab
doston ko nahin jaante.
AADMI
Bata do. Ho sakta hai janta bhi
hun.

ACTOR
No. Mera nahin khayal hai. Anyway,
main nikalta hun. Nice to meet you.
AADMI
Zarur. Apna khayal rakhna.
Adakar rasmi muskurahat ke sath nikal jata hai.

INT. ROOM.

Ussi kamre ka manzar. Adakar dakhil hota hai. Kamre main koi
nahin hai. Usse hairani hoti hai ke chand lamhe pehle wo ek
admi ko chor gaya tha lekin ab kamra khali hai. Wo idhar
udhar kuch talash karta hai. Itne main dobara se awazen aane
lagti hain. Light off hojati hai. Ab wo aur khaufzada hojata
hai. Dobara lighter talash karta hai. Roshni ajati hai. Woh
aadmi wahan betha maze se ciggarette ke kash lag raha hai.
Adakar ki nazar us par parti hai tou wo dar jata hai.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7.

ACTOR
Jes.. Main dar gaya. I’m sorry.
Main yahan aya tou aap nahin the.
AADMI
Hmm.
Adakar apni khoyi huwi cheez dhoondne main masroof hai.
ACTOR
Aap Maroofi ke yahan kaam karte
hain?
AADMI
Nahin tou.
ACTOR
Oh. Tou unse milne aaye hain?
AADMI
Nahin tou.
ACTOR
Tou phir? Anyways.
AADMI
Kya gum hogaya hai?
ACTOR
Mera wallet nahin mil raha. Mere
pocket main hi tha. Shayad yahan
gir gaya ho. Aapki nazar tou nahin
pari?

AADMI
Uhaan..Nahin tou.
ACTOR
Oh. No. Kahan ja sakta hai?

Wo dhoondne main masroof hai.

AADMI
Shayad tum laye hi nahin the.
ACTOR
oh. of course laya tha main. Mere
paas tha.
AADMI
Phir yaheen kahin hoga. Dhoond lo.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 8.

ACTOR
Ya ho bhi sakta hai gaari main reh
gaya ho. Anyway, Bye.
AADMI
Bye. Adakar dobara nikal jata hai.

INT. ROOM.
Ussi kamre ka manzar. Adakar wapas ata hai. Kamre main koi
nahin hai. Wo dobara dekh kar hairan hojata hai. Idher udher
aadmi ko talash karne ki koshish karta hai. Uske na milne
par dobara kuch dhoondne lagta hai. Dobara awazen aati hain.
aur zor se. Wo darne lagta hai ke dobara andhera hojata hai.
ACTOR
Kaun hai?
Itne main bijli ajati hai. Dobara wohi aadmi kursi par bethe
ciggarette pi raha hai.
ACTOR
My goodness. Ye kya mazaq hai?
AADMI
Mazaq?
ACTOR
Ji. Main ata hun. Aap hote nahin
yahan. Phir awazen aane lagti hain.
Bijli chali jati hai. Aur roshni
hone par aap numudar hojate hain.

AADMI
Oh.
ACTOR
Aisa lagta hai main kisi buri likhi
huwi horror film ke scene main
agaya hun jahan bar bar ek hi jaisa
scene dikha kar audience ko darane
ki bajaye bewaqoof banaya ja raha
hai. Nevermind, meri chabi reh gayi
yahan ab.Tum yahan the. Mera matlab
aap yahan the. Yaheen maiz par
rakhi thi maine ghaliban.
AADMI
Nahin. Mujhe tou kuch nazar nahin
aya.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 9.

ACTOR
Oh. Main dhoond leta hun.
Wo dhoondne lagta hai
AADMI
Bura na mano tou main madad kardun
tumhari?
ACTOR
Sure. Please.

Wo dono mil ke chaabi talash karne lagte hain.

AADMI
Shayad. Tum laye hi nahin the?

ACTOR
Hahaha. Main gari chala kar aya hun
apne hathon se.
AADMI
Phir tou yaheen honi chahiye. Kahin
bahar aate huwe tou nahin gir gayi?
ACTOR
Nahin. Main bahar dekhta huwa aya
hun. Mera khayal hai dobara dekh
lena chahiye. Main bahar dekhta
hun. Wo chala jata hai.

INT. ROOM.
Wohi kamra. Wo dobara ata hai. Dobara kamre main koi nahin
hai. Ab usko ghusa aane lagta hai zara.
ACTOR
Hello? Sir..?? Excuse me? Kahan
hain aap?

Dobara awazen hoti hain zor zor se. Light chali jati hai.
ACTOR
What the fuck. Kya mazaq hai yeh?
Kaun kar raha hai yeh?

Light ajati hai. Wo aadmi ussi jaga par betha hai.

ACTOR
Kya mazaq hai yeh? Kaun ho tum?
Bewqaoof samjha huwa hai mujhe,
haan? Such such batao kaun ho? Ye
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 10.

ACTOR (cont’d)
kya mazaq hai? Main jata hun. Tum
kamre main hote ho. Main wapas ata
hun. Tum ghayab hojate ho. Phir
wahan se awazen aati hain. Andhera
hojata hai. Aur tum yahan kamre
main hote ho? Sach sach batao kaun
ho? Jab wo larki yahan thi tou tum
kahan the? Wo jaise hi nikli hai
tum namoodar huwe ho. Main keh raha
hun sharafat se bata do kaun ho
verna bohat bura hoga.

AADMI
Main tou yaheen hun kabse?
ACTOR
Jhoot. Ek baat batao us larki ne
tumhare yahan hone ka zikr kyun
nahin kiya?
AADMI
Mujhe kya maloom?

ACTOR
Jab main aya tha kamray main tou
tum kahan the?
AADMI
Main yaheen tha.

ACTOR
Oh yeah?
AADMI
Haan..Jab tum us larki ko autograph
de rahe the main yaheen tha.
ACTOR
What? Tum yahan nahin the. Kam se
kam hamari nazron ke samne tou
nahin the. Yaqeenan kahin chupay
bethe hoge kisi badneeyati se. Na
Maroofi se milne aye ho na yahan
kaam karte ho tou kar kya rahe ho
yahan?

AADMI
Main?
ACTOR
Ji. Aap. Sharafat se batao. Aur
mera waqt zaya mat karo.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 11.

AADMI
Chor do. Kya jaan kar karoge? By
the way, tum dobara wapas agaye?
Chabi nahin mili tumhen?

ACTOR
Nahin mili. Milegi bhi nahin.
AADMI
Kyun nahin milegi?

ACTOR
Mujhe lagta hai kisi ne utha li
hai.
AADMI
Acha. Kisne?

ACTOR
Zyada bhole mat bano. Sharafat se
mera wallet aur chabi nikalo. Verna
abhi Police ko bulane laga hun
main.

AADMI
Police ko kyun beech main la rahe
ho?
ACTOR
Kya matlab hai tumhara? Tou aur
kiske beech main laun? Itni dair se
tamasha lagaya huwa hai. Tumhen
Police ke danday hi theak karenge.

AADMI
Maine kaunsa tamasha lagaya hai?
Tamashay wale tou tum ho. Mera
matlab hai adakar tou tum ho. Haan,
tou main keh raha tha tum Police ko
kyun beech main la rahe ho? Tum
khud bhi tou Police wale bante ho
filmon main. Khud hi suljhalo ye
kashmakash.
ACTOR
Kashmakash? Huh. Dekho. Mere paas
itna waqt nahin hai. Tum mujhe meri
cheezen wapas karo aur main tumhen
kuch nahin karunga. Tum apne raaste
main apne raaste.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 12.

AADMI
Tummm.. Tum mera kuch kar bhi nahin
sakte?
ACTOR
Tum ab mera para charha rahe ho?
Main bohat hi muhazib insan hun.
Mujhe tameez ke dayere se nikalne
par majboor na karo. Mujhe is se
koi lena dena nahin hai ke tum koi
chor ho, koi jinn ho koi ya koi
bhoot ho. Khuda kay wastay mujhe
tang na karo.
AADMI
Maine tumhari koi cheez nahin
uthaayi. Sach main.

ACTOR
Tou phir kahan gaya mera batwa.
Kahan gayi meri chaabi? Main aya
tou mere paas the. Maine yahan se
nikalne ka socha tou ghayab hogaye.
Aur ab tum mere sar lag gaye ho.
AADMI
Maine tumhen pakar kar tou nahin
rakha. Tum ja sakte ho.

ACTOR
Main baghera chaabi ke gaari kaise
chalaunga, chootiye insaan?
Sharafat se meri gari ki chaabi
nikalo verna main ab Police ko
phone karne ja raha hun. Bohat
hogaya.
AADMI
Ufff. Itna ghusa.

ACTOR
Ek tou tum chor ho. Upar se
intihaayi begherat aur dheet bhi.
AADMI
Tum mujhe begherat aur dheet jaan
sakte ho lekin chor nahin. Maine
koi chor nahin hun.
ACTOR
Tou phir kaun ho tum? Haan? Jinn
ho? Bhoot ho? Don’t tell me tum
Maroofi ke likhe huwe koi kirdar ho
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 13.

ACTOR (cont’d)
jisne insano ki shakal leli hai.
Trust me, I don’t believe in this
bullshit.
AADMI
Na. Maine aisa kab kaha ke main
Maroofi ka likha koi kirdar hun.
ACTOR
Tou phir kaun ho? Pehle kyun nahin
the yahan. Us larki ne kyun nahin
bataya tumhara? Aise ajeeb tarah se
kyun namoodar hote ho tum? Na koi
chor ho, baqol tumhare? Na koi jinn
ho, na bhoot ho aur na hi Maroofi
ka likha koi kirdar ho tou. Tou ho
kaun?

AADMI
Tou tumhe mere wajood se dilchaspi
hone lagi hai?
ACTOR
Hahaha. Wajood se dilchaspi. Khoob
kaha. Wo bhi tumhare?
AADMI
Haan tou. Mujh main kya kharabi
hai. Adakar jaane lagta hai.

AADMI
Kahan ja rahe ho?
ACTOR
Police ko phone karne.

AADMI
Haan zarur.
Adakar ghusay main chala jata hai.

INT. ROOM.
Adakar wapas ata hai. Dobara kamre main koi nahin hai.
ACTOR
Kahan ho tum? Niklo bahar.
Idhar udhar saman uthal puthal karta hai.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 14.

ACTOR (CONT’D)
Niklo maine kaha. Ab karo awazen.
Chezen utha kar awazen karne lagta
hai. Ye lo awazen. Band karo bijli.
Samne aao mere. Darta nahin hun
main tumse. Kidher ho. Gharak
hogaye kya? Where the hell are
you?.
Itne main aadmi bathroom se nikalta hai. Apni zip band karta
huwa ata hai.

ACTOR (CONT’D)
Insano ki tarah aane ki zehmat kyun
ki? Tapakte na asmaan se pehle ki
tarah. Meri chaabi nikalo. Maine
kaha mujhe meri chabi do. Mujhe
nikalna hai. Tum aise nahin
maanoge.
Adakar us par hamla karta hai. Usko zameen par gira deta
hai. Usko maarne lagta hai. Intihaayi jazbaati hai.

ACTOR (CONT’D)
Meri chaabi do. Nikalo meri chaabi.
Kabse tamasha lagaya huwa hai
tumne? Mujhe chootiya samjhte ho
tum? Meri chaabi nikalo. Verna main
khoon kardunga tumhara. Nikalo meri
chaabi. Give me my fucking key. Do
you understand, you son of a bicth.
Aadmi apne aapko bachane ki koshish kar raha hai.

ACTOR (CONT’D)
Main kehta hun agar apni khair
chahte ho tou mujhe meri chaabi do.
Ye meri gaari ki chaabi hai. Samajh
aayi? It’s my fucking key. It’s my
fucking car’s key, you
motherfucker. You can’t take it.
Meri gaari hai woh. Main nahin
dunga tumhen. It fucking belongs to
me do you understand. You think tum
mujh se leloge? Never. Meri gari
hi. Aur chabi bhi meri hai. Main
nahin chorunga aise tumhen. Main
ama se keh dunga. She will beat the
shit out of you. Main shikayat
lagaunga ke tumne meri gari ki
chabi leli hai taake mujh se cheen
lo gaari. Main nahin dene wala
tumhen kisi surat kyunke it is
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 15.

ACTOR (CONT’D) (cont’d)

mine. Meri maa laayi hai mere liye.
Aapko koi haq nahin hai mujhse meri
gaari cheen kar kisi aur ko dene
ko. Meri gari mera sabse aziz
khilona hai. I will never give it
you. Mama! ye meri gari cheen kar
ja raha hai dobara.....
Had se zyada jazbati hogaya hai. Achanak se hosh main ata
hai. Aadmi ko chorta hai. Khud ko sanbhalta hai. Gehri
saansen le raha hai.
ACTOR
I am sorry. I am so sorry. Are you
okay?

Aadmi ko uthata hai. Aadmi ki halat bohat kharab ho chuki

hai.
ACTOR
I’m extremely sorry. Mujhe maaf
kardo. Main aape se bahar hogaya
tha.
AADMI
Tumhen ab bhi azeez hai wo gaari?

ACTOR
Haan.
AADMI
Kaun le gaya tha wo?

ACTOR
Meri dadi. Mera sabse aziz khilona
utha kar unhon ne apni nawasi ko de
diya. Main dhundta raha har jaga
usko woh meri jaan tha. Mera iklota
sabse aziz khilona. Jab main usko
apne nanhe masoom hathon se chalata
tha tou aisa mehsoos hota tha goya
sari dunya meri hai. Main ek chota
sa masoom shahzada hun jiske hukm
ki dair hoti hai aur har cheez uske
huzur main hazir hojati hai.
AADMI
Chota sa masoom shahzada jiske
peeche Ama khana liye phirti hai
lekin usko hukumat karna zyada acha
lagta hai isliye wo kabhi apne
khilone se khelna nahin chorta.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 16.

ACTOR
Haan.
AADMI
Tumne wo gaari wapas nahin li?

ACTOR
Nahin. Us waqt mujhe samajh main
aya ke main jis dunya par hukmrani
karta tha wo kabhi meri thi hi
nahin. Is dunya main mera kuch tha
hi nahin. Har wo cheez jisay maine
sabse azeez jana wo mujhse ek din
chin’ni hi thi.
AADMI
Aur phir?

ACTOR
Aur phir? Din guzarte gaye. Main
bara hota gaya. Main ab bhi khud ko
shahzada samjhta tha.

AADMI
Aur ab wo shahzada chori karne laga
tha.
ACTOR
Maine koi chori nahin ki thi. Tum
khud chor ho isliye sabko apne
jaisa samajhte ho.
AADMI
Tou tumne baap ke batwe se paise
nahin churaate the?
ACTOR
Haan churata tha.kyun ke mujhe
cycle kharidni thi.

AADMI
Aur cycle kharidna itna zaruri tha
ke tumne uske liye chori ki.
ACTOR
Mujhe chori karne ka shoq nahin
tha.
AADMI
Haan lekin phir bhi tumne chori ki
tou.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 17.

ACTOR
Kyunke mere paas paise nahin the.
AADMI
Tou?

ACTOR
Tou mere liye cycle kharidna zaruri
tha.
AADMI
Kis liye?
ACTOR
Is liye ke mere paas nahin thi aur
wo khabees mujhe is baat ka shiddat
se ehsaas dilata tha ke mere paas
cycle nahin hai jabke uske baap ne
usko salgirah par nayi cycle dilayi
thi.
AADMI
Woh kaun?

ACTOR
Tha ek dost bachpan main. Ek baat
batao tum mere bare main itna sab
kaise jante ho? Na tum jinn ho na
tum bhoot ho jaisa ke tumne kaha.
Tou phir kaun ho tum?
AADMI
Pehle tou tum mujhe jinn bhooton se
tashbeeh dena band karo.

ACTOR
Nahin jab tak tum bata nahin dete
ke tum kaun ho?
AADMI
Ciggarette piyo ge?
ACTOR
No. Thanks. Main ye brand nahin
peeta.

AADMI
Tou kaunsa brand peete ho?
ACTOR
You wouldn’t know.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 18.

AADMI
Acha.
ACTOR
Batao. Kaun ho tum? Na tum jinn ho
na bhoot ho na Maroofi ka likha koi
kirdar ho. Ab tum main tou ho nahin
sakte kyunke main tou main hun aur
tum bohat badsoorat ho. Agar tum
main nahin ho aur main tum nahin ho
tou mere baare main sab kaise jante
ho?
AADMI
Chalo ek khel khelte hain. Tum
mujhse jo poochoge wo main tumhen
bataunga aur main tumse jo puchunga
wo tum mujhe bataoge.
ACTOR
Main yahan koi khel khelne nahin
aya. Samajh aya. Agar nahin batana
tou mat batao. Pata nahin kya
samajhte ho tum khud ko. Kahin tum
koi khabees reporter tou nahin ho
jo meri zindagi par jaanch partaal
kar raha hai taake apne kisi
daqyanoosi magazine main mere
tamashe ki surkhi chaap kar us par
char chand laga sake?
AADMI
Main tumhare baare main woh sab bhi
janta hun jo ek reporter ke wehmon
guman main bhi na hoga.

ACTOR
What nonsense? Aisa kya jante ho
tum? Batao zara. Meri baat suno
main ek actor hun. Meri zaati
zindagi se lekar meri professional
life tak sab kuch sabko pata hai.
Tou tum zyada hawa main mat urro.
AADMI
Acha? Tum kehte ho tou aisa hi
hoga.
PAUSE:
ACTOR
Aur kya jante ho tum?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 19.

AADMI
Bas yehi ke jis larki ko tum toot
kar chahte the...
ACTOR
What rubbish. What the hell are you
talking about? koi chahna vaahna
nahin hota. Aur main kisi ko toot
kar chahta tha. Haha. Acha mazaq
hai. Mere sath zara sa waqt guzar
kar tumhara sense of humor improve
hone laga hai. Aur tumhare paas
kahaniyan khatam hogayi hain tou
apni taraf se banane lage ho?
AADMI
Ho sakta hai tum bhool gaye ho uske
baare main. Akhir ko itna waqt
guzar chuka hai. By the way agar ye
kahani hai tou tum aage sun’na
pasand karoge?
ACTOR
Nahin
AADMI
Zara si bhi nahin?

ACTOR
Nahin
AADMI
Itna bhi nahin ke wo tumhari pehli
mohabat thi. Pehli masoom mohabat?

Pause. Woh ciggarette jalata hai.

ACTOR
Nahin bhula hun main usko. Kabhi
bhul sakta hi nahin. Bepanah
mohabat karta tha main us se. Uske
ird gird apni dunya bana li thi
maine.
AADMI
Aur phir?

ACTOR
Aur ek din wo duniya khatam hogayi.
AADMI
Kaise?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 20.

ACTOR
Jab wo mujhe chor kar chali gayi
thi.
AADMI
Kahan?
ACTOR
Bohat door.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 18. AADMI
Kiske sath?
ACTOR
Apni duniya ke sath.
AADMI
Tumne usse roka nahin?
ACTOR
Nahin
AADMI
Kyun?
ACTOR
Kyun ke mujhe us se nafrat hogayi
thi.

AADMI
Acha? Is liye ab bhi ye soch kar
chain nahin parta ke wo tumhen chor
kar kyun chali gayi? Tumse baat tak
nahin ki. Bas ek din achanak se
tumhen chor kar kisi aur ke sath
chal di?
ACTOR
Mujhe koi ikhtiyar nahin tha us
par. Aur hota bhi kyun? Uski
zindagi thi. Usse apni marzi se
jeene ka haq tha.
AADMI
Tou us se ek zindagi main sirf ek
baar milne ki chaah kyun thi?

ACTOR
Taake main us se poochta ke wo
mujhe kyun chor kar chali gayi.
Mujhse ek baar bhi baat tak nahin
ki. Jaise kisi ne khoob kaha ke pat
jhar main jo phool murjha jaate
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 21.

ACTOR (cont’d)
hain wo baharon ke aane se nahin
khilte. Bilkul un phoolon ki tarah
chor kar chali gayi mujhe.

AADMI
Aur?
ACTOR
Aur ye ke main us se bohat mohabat
karta hun ab bhi.

AADMI
Aur?
ACTOR
Aur ye ke main uske jaane ke baad
bohat roya tha. Jaise phir se
mujhse cheen kar koi meri gaari le
gaya ho. Jaise us masoom shahzade
se phir se uska takht cheen liya
gaya ho.

AADMI
Aur phir?
ACTOR
Aur phir.. phir main agay barh
gaya. Wo shahzada ab Badshah ban’na
chahta tha
AADMI
Tou ek tarah se uska chorna tumhare
liye acha saabit huwa. Hai na?
Tumne uske diye zakhmon par apne
khwabon ka mahal tameer kar liya.
ACTOR
Haan. Aur wo bacha jisko ek khilona
jaan se pyara lagta tha wo bara
hogaya.
AADMI
Aur tum haar kar bhi jeet gaye?
Kyunke tumne usse dikha diya ke
usne ghalat insan ko thukraya tha.

ACTOR
Haan. Shayad. Main usko haar kar us
se jeet gaya.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 22.

AADMI
Aur ab tum apne banaye Mahal main
akele ho kyun ke jis tarah usne
tumhen thukraya us tarah tumne
logon ko thukrana shuru kardiya.

ACTOR
Maine kisi ko nahin thukraya.
AADMI
Ya phir tum itne behis hogaye ke
tumhen ehsas hi nahin raha ke jo
logon ne tumhare sath kiya ab tum
logon ke sath wohi kar rahe ho.
ACTOR
Shut up. Maine kisi ke sath kuch
bhi bura nahin kiya.
AADMI
Acha.
ACTOR
Mujhe nafrat thi us khandaan se.
Jab mera peecha unse choota tou
main wo bana jo main ban’na chahta
tha.
AADMI
Tum kya ban’ne chahte the?
ACTOR
What do you mean? Wohi jo aaj main
hun.

AADMI
Tum kya ho?
ACTOR
A successful actor.

AADMI
Oh.
ACTOR
Kya matlab hai tumhara?

AADMI
Kuch nahin. Tum us khaandan ke bare
main bata rahe the.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 23.

ACTOR
Maine kaha na main nafrat karta hun
unse.
AADMI
Unse?
ACTOR
Wo harafa, uska baap aur uski maa.
Teeno.

AADMI
Kyun? Aisa kya kiya tha unhon ne?
Wo tou tumhen pasand karte the?
ACTOR
Pasand. My foot. Wo jalti thi
mujhse. Maine uske sath sona
chordiya tou maine hosh ke nakhun
liye. Wo ek khoon choosne wali
dayan thi jise apna bistar garam
karne ke liye bewaqoof jawan mard
chahiye tha. Wo ek khudparast insan
thi jo kabhi nahin chahti thi ke
main kamyab hun. Kyunke usko dar
tha ke agar main kuch ban gaya tou
usko thokar maar kar chala jaunga.

AADMI
Lekin usne tumhen adakari sikhayi.
Tumhari ustaad thi?
ACTOR
Ek khud parast aur matlabi insan jo
ustad ka libada orhay mujhe apne
maqsad ke liye istemal karti thi.
AADMI
Kaunsa maqsad?

ACTOR
Yahi ke log uski tareefon ke pull
bandhen ke dekho dekho usne kis
tarah ek naye larke ko koyle ki
tarah tarash kar heera banaya hai.
Takay bagher kuch kiye meri kamyabi
ka credit wo le sake.
AADMI
Aur uska baap?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 24.

ACTOR
Uska baap? Wo khabees budha. Apne
aapko bohat bara art ka qadardan
samajhta tha. Bloody douche. Jo
usse pasand hota tha agar wo hug
bhi de tou kehta tha that shit
smells really nice. Aur agar kisi
ke sath uski nahin banti thi tou
goya wo pahar hi sar par kyun na
utha le usse kabhi appreciate nahin
karta tha.
AADMI
Aur uski maa?

ACTOR
Wo chaloo burhiya apni darhi ke
baal nochte huwe mujhe aise dekhti
thi jaise wo asmaan se utri huwi
makhlooq ho aur main uske dar par
betha gali ka kutta. Jab maine uski
beti par thook diya tou usko lag
pata gaya. Un teeno ko yaqeen tha
ke main zindagi main kaheen nahin
puhunchunga. Lekin unhon ne mun ki
khaayi.

PAUSE :
ACTOR (CONT’D)
Mera khayal hai mujhe jana chahiye.
These bloody writers. khud ko tou
koi poochta nahin hai lekin doosron
ke waqt ki bhi qadr nahin hai.
AADMI
Tumhen kabse waqt ki qadr hone
lagi?

ACTOR
Huh. What a joke. Tum mujhse pooch
rahe ho ke waqt ki qadar kabse hone
lagi? Shuru se. Main hamesha waqt
ka paband raha hun. Mere khoon main
hai waqt ki qadr.
AADMI
Aah. Tou ghaliban tum ne us khoon
ki qadar nahin ki.

ACTOR
What nonsense? Kya bak rahe ho tum?
Kya matlab hai tumhara?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 25.

AADMI
Mera matlab hai tumne jis se waqt
ki qadar virsay main paayi ussi ko
thukra diya?

ACTOR
Pehli baat ke waqt ki qadr mujhe
apne baap nahin apni maa se virsay
main mili. Us aadmi se mujhe virsay
main kuch chahiye tha hi nahin.
Nafrat karta hun main us se.

AADMI
Hmmm.
ACTOR
I think it’s too late. Ab tak tou
meri dilchaspi bhi khatm ho chuki
hai Maroofi ki is bekaar film main.
Koi nahin dekhta aisi bekar filmen.
Avant garde my foot. Main hi
bewaqoof tha jo sabki baaton main
akar yahan agaya. Mujhe kya pata
tha yahan ek bhoot betha hoga jo
mere zakhmon ko kuraid kuraid kar
mujhse ek tamasha karwayega jiske
khatm hone par hall taliyon se
goonj uthega.

AADMI
Tumhen ab bhi main bhoot lagta hun?
ACTOR
Tou aur? Kaun janta hai sab kuch
kisi ke baare main?
AADMI
Agar tumhen mujhe bhoot samajh kar
khushi milti hai tou yunhi sahi.
Tou tumhen avant garde filmen nahin
pasand?
AADMI
Nahin. Tou tumhen Maroofi ki office
tak kya khench laya?

ACTOR
Studio mere sath ek unconventional
film banana chahta hai. Unko lagta
hai is script main Oscar jeetne ki
salahiyat hai.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 26.

AADMI
Bas?

ACTOR
Haan aur kya main yahan cabaret
karne aya hun.
AADMI
Bohat hi bura joke tha. Lagta hai
mera sense of humor tumhare paas
agaya hai.
ACTOR
Huh.

AADMI
Tou tumhen mahiz producers ki
request yahan tak kheench laayi
hai?
ACTOR
Of course. What else?
AADMI
Mujhe laga.....
ACTOR
Kya laga?
AADMI
Mujhe laga ke shayad tumhen ye
khauf yahan tak le aya hai ke...

ACTOR
What bullshit? Kaisa khauf..?
AADMI
Yehi ke tumhari banayi duniya
samandar ke kinare bane rait ke
mahal ki tarah phir se pani ki
zalim lehron ki nazar hojayegi.
ACTOR
Kya paheliyan bujhwa rahe ho? Saaf
saaf kaho jo kehna hai?
AADMI
Theak hai. Tou tum yahan is liye
nahin aaye..

ACTOR
Ruko. Tumhen isse kya gharz hai ke
main yahan kis liye aaya hun? Aur
kitna nanga karoge meri rooh ko?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 27.

AADMI
Khair. Mujhe is se koi gharz tou
nahin.
ACTOR
Honi chahiye bhi nahin. Aur phir
zaruri nahin hota ke har cheez ke
peeche koi gehra maqsad ho. Kuch
cheezen yunhi bhi ki jaati hain.
AADMI
Haan lekin is khauf se ke jis
kamyabi ko zameen par giray sikkon
ki tarah sameta ho ab wo chin’nay
ja rahi hai tou gehra maqsad ho
sakta hai.

ACTOR
Tum zarur koi maskharay ho. Baat se
baat nikalte jate ho. Kahaniyan
bunte jaate ho. Aur yahan mujhe
hypnotise karke rakha huwa hai. Jo
kehte ho main manta jaata hun. Ab
mazeed jhoote tamashay main
dilchaspi nahin hai mujhe. Main ja
raha hun. Good bye.
AADMI
Aah. Bas akhri baat. Main tumhare
mun se sun’na chahta hun ke tum
yahan kis liye aaye ho?
ACTOR
Main ja raha hun.

AADMI
Shayad ye script bhi ussi ke paas
chala jaye tumhare baad.
ACTOR
Bakwas band karo. Na mujhe is
script main dilchaspi hai na
tumhari baaton main.
AADMI
Aur us larke main jiske khauf ne ek
jaane maane bonafide Movie actor,
jaisa ke tum khud ko kehte ho, ko
is karb main mubtala kardiya hai ke
har us cheez ki tarah jo usko aziz
thi uski kamyabi bhi us se chin’ne
wali hai.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 28.

ACTOR
Kya bakwas kar rahe ho tum bewaqoof
aadmi. Ab main tumhen qatl hi kar
daalunga. Aur mujhe kuch bura bhi
nahin lagega.

AADMI
Ye ghusa is baat ki daleel hai ke
main sahi keh raha hun.
ACTOR
Tum kuch bhi sahi nahin keh rahe
ho. Samjhe tum? Kuch bhi sahi nahin
keh rahe ho. Wo khabees londa mera
kuch nahin bigar sakta jo apne baap
ke paison se america se adakari
seekh kar aya hai.

AADMI
Tumhare producers, tumhare
directors, tumhari heroines aur
tumhare scripts sab uske paas ja
rahe hain.

ACTOR
Mera kuch bhi uske paas na ja raha
hai na kabhi jayega. Samjhe tum?
AADMI
Kyun? Ye duniya hai yahan aisa hi
hota hai ek aata hai ek jata hai wo
kahawat suni hai na tum ne hum na
honge koi humsa hoga?

ACTOR
Ye sab bakwaas hai.
AADMI
Acha?

ACTOR
Wo meri jaga kabhi nahin le sakta.
AADMI
Kyun?

ACTOR
Kyunke usne meri tarah studios aur
producers ki offices ke dhakay
nahin khaye hain.maine sarkon par
dhake khaye. Parkon ki tooti huwi
benchon par badboodar kachre ke
paas raaten guzaareen. Wo nanha
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 29.

ACTOR (cont’d)
shahzada jo apne ghar ke choohon ke
liye apni roti ke chote chote
niwale bana ke rakhta tha. Wo kam
nasal choohay mere hathon aur paon
ko khorak samajh kar kutarte the.
Kyunke uske baap ne usko ye keh kar
bedakhal kardiya tha ke tumhare
khwab ghair sanjeeda hain aur tum
mahiz apna waqt barbad kar rahe
hun. Kyunke uke baap ne us waqt
uska sath nahin chora tha jab usko
uski sabse zyada zarurat thi. Wo
tasawur bhi nahin kar sakta ke main
kis azab se guzra hun.Maine har pal
har lamhe ki qeemat ada ki hai.
Samjhe tum? Maine zindagi se seekha
hai kisi International school se
nahin. Tumhen lagta hai wo itni
asani se mera muqabla karega? Mere
jaisa banega? Tumhen pata hai jab
main chota tha tab aksar ek khwab
dekha karta tha. Us khwab main main
ek shahzada hota tha jo neend se
jagta tha tou khud ko ek raigistan
main pata tha. Us shahzade ka
mahal, uska sab kuch ja chuka hota
tha aur uske paas sirf apni choti
behen ki ek guriya hoti thi. Wo
bhooka pyasa sehra main bhatak ke
beth jata tha aur ek safed posh
aurat akar usko kehti thi aao mere
sath. Wo usko apna humdard samajh
kar uske peche chala jata tha. Wo
usse door tak apne sath le jati
thi. Bhook pyas se wo nidhaal ho
chuk hota tha. Wo arman se mahiz
usko dekhta tha ke wo uski halat
par reham kha kar usko pani ek
boond pilayegi lekin wo usse apne
sath le jati thi door door tak. Jab
usko koi asra mayasar nahin hota
tou wo usko pukar kar kehta hai ke
usko pyaas lagi hai. Phir apne paas
se botal nikal kar deti hai jis
main ginti ke chand pani ki boonden
hoti hain. Wo inko ghaneemat jan
kar pi tou leta hai lekin uske baad
usko mazeed pyas lagti hai. Wo
masoom aur pani ki zid karta hai
lekin wo aurat kaan nahin dharti
phir ek waqt par mazeed chalne se
inkar kar deta hai aur rone lagta
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 30.

ACTOR (cont’d)
hai. Wo aurat ussay ziddi jaan kar
ek chotay se talab ke paas le jati
hai aur us mein phenk deti hai. Wo
doobne lagta hai aur madad ki bheek
mangta hai lekin wo wahan sakit
khari rehti hai goya ye dekhne ke
liye usne bache ne jo zid ki thi
uski saza usko mil jaye. Jab wo
madad ke liye cheekh cheekh kar
thak jata hai aur behosh ho jata
hai aur usse lagta hai ke ab marne
wala hai tab door sehra main ek
sarab main apni maa ki parchayi
nazar aati hai. Wo khush ho jata
hai ke ab uski maa agayi hai aur
usko is karb se nikal legi. Lekin
wo aurat uska hath pakar kar usse
door le jani lagti hai. Wo hath
churane ki bharpoor koshish karta
hai aur us aurat se bheek mangta
hai ke usko uski maa ke paas jaane
de lekin wo usko ghaseet’ti jati
hai. Wo rota hai girgirata hai.
Apni maa ko awaz deta hai aur is
kashmakash main par jata hai ke
uski maa jiski ankhon ka wo tara
tha uski madad ko kyun na aayi? Wo
aurat usko aage leti jati hai aur
uski maa ki parchayi dhundhli hoti
jaati hai. Uski ankhen num hotti ho
jati hain aur wo aage barhta jata
hai is khayal se ke pata nahin wo
uski maa thi ya saraab tha. Wo
sochta hai ke agar wo iski maa hoti
tou isko is aurat se jo uska bete
ko le ja rahi hai kyun na churati.
Abhi wo is soch main gum hi hota
hai ke usko khayal ata hai apni
behen ki guriya ka. Wo dekhta hai
ke wo guriya us aurat ke paas hai.
Woh us aurat se us guriya ko wapas
mangta hai yeh keh kar ke wo guriya
uski behen ki hai. Us behen ki jo
pata nahin us se dobara milegi bhi
ke nahin. Lekin wo darguzar kar
deti hai. Wo bacha phir bhi aage
barhta jata hai aur ab usse shadeed
bhook lagne lagti hai. Wo ye jante
huwe bhi ke aas paas kisi cheez ka
koi naam o nishan nahin tha wo us
se khane ki talab karta hai. Thora
aur chal kar usse bazar nazar ata
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 31.

ACTOR (cont’d)
hai.Wo hairan ke is sehra ke beech
ye bazar kahan se aya. Lekin is
khayal se khush hojata hai ke ab
usko kuch khane ko milega.Wo dekhta
hai ke wahan ke log usse aise ghoor
rahe hain jaise wo koi asmaani
makhlooq ho. Bazar main khelne wale
bachon main se kuch us par hans
rahe hote hain aur kuch usse larne,
darane aur dhamkane ki koshish
karte hain. Is doran us aurat ke
kaan par jun tak nahin rengti.
Lekin bhook se uska itna bura haal
hota hai ke usse kuch farq nahin
parta. Wo aurat usse ek thailay par
le jaati hai jahan saib rakhe hain.
Wo bacha wahan se phat se saib utha
kar khane lagta hai. Abhi wo kha hi
raha hota hai ke dekhta hai ke wo
aurat us phal wale ko paise dene ki
bajaye uski behen ki guriya de deti
hai. Wo saib ko phenk kar usko
wapas leni ki darkhwast karta hai.
Wo unsuna karke aage brhti hai tou
wo uske hath par kat’ta hai tab wo
usse jhatak kar zameen par gira
deti hai. Itne main ek khoonkhwar
kutta us par bhonkne lagta hai.
Usko lagta hai woh aurat usko bacha
legi lekin wo mun se ajeeb awaz
nikal kar uss kutte ko aur qareeb
bula leti hai aur wo bache ko kaat
leta hai. Wo uska hath pakar kar
uski zakhmi taang ke sath usko
ghaseet’ti jati hai. Jab usse ehsas
hota hai ke koi uske haal par reham
nahin kha raha tab phat parta hai
ke agar uski maa sath hoti tou
kabhi iske sath ye na hone deti. Ab
uski zakhmi taang aur dard karne
lagti hai. Ab sirf uska jism hi
nahin uski rooh bhi chalni hogayi
hai. Wo sochta hai ke uska kya
qusoor tha ke usko is azab se
guzarna para.Ab wo sehra se hokar
ek jungle main dakhil hote hain
jahan wo thandse thathar raha hai
aur khoonkhwar janwar usse ghoor
rahe hain lekin ab ki baar wo kisi
madad ka talabgar nahin hota kyunke
usse maloom hai ke iska koi faida
nahin. Wo aage barhte jaate hain
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 32.

ACTOR (cont’d)
aur ek jaga wo is safar se bezar
hokar ruk jata hai aur cheekh kar
us aurat se poochta ha ke akhir wo
hai kaun aur usse kahan le ja rahi
hai. Tab wo zara sa apna chehra
dikhati hai. Uska adha chehra kisi
jannat ki hoor ki tarah khoobsurat
aur adha chehra bhayanak hai. Tab
wo usse jawab deti hai ke wo
Zindgagi hai aur wo jab tak zinda
hai usse yunhi lekar phirti rahegi.
Tum kaun ho?
AADMI
Main? Main shayad waqt hun jo tab
se tumhare sath hun tabse tumhare
sath jabse zindagi ne tumhara hath
thama is gharz se ke tumhen lekar
phirti rahegi darbadar. Ya shayad
tumhari wo masoomiyat jo pehli baar
us waqt lutti jab tumhen ehsas huwa
ke har wo chez jo tumhen sabse
zyada aziz hai tumse ek din chin’ni
hai. Ya tumhari pehli mohabat jo ab
tak tumhen bekarar kiye huwe hai.
Ya tumhara is baat ka khauf ke
tumhari shaandar kamyabi tumse chin
jayegi aur tum khali hath reh
jaoge. Ya tumhara aane wala waqt jo
tumhen khauf ki deewar phalang kar
tumhen sabse tez chamakne wala
sitara banayega abad tak. Ya
Maroofi ka script jisay sun’ne tum
aye ho?

INT. ROOM.
Andhera se roshni hojati hai. Adakar apni jaga khara hai. Wo
admi ghayab ho chuka hai. Wo ussay dhoondna chahta hai ke
darwaze se Maroofi dakhil hota hai.
MAROOFI
I am so sorry. Mazrat ke tumhen
intezar karna para. How are you
doing? Tumne kuch liya? Chai,
coffee, drink waghera?
ACTOR
No problem. It’s okay. Haan. I had
coffee. Kaafi maze ki jaga hai
tumhara ghar cum office. Tumhari
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 33.

ACTOR (cont’d)
secretary ka naam bhi bara
interesting hai.
MAROOFI
Haan wo khud bhi kafi interesting
hai.
ACTOR
Oh! Acha?

MAROOFI
Haan. Usko autograph ikhate karne
ka shoq hai. Wo yahan ane wale
guests se apni Maa ke naam par
autograph leti hai. I’m sure tumse
bhi liya hoga.

ACTOR
Erm. Well. So what’s the subject of
your film. I liked the title by the
way, Bloody Rat. Interesting. Very
different.

MAROOFI
Haan. It is. So, ye kahani hai ek
actor ki who is on the verge of
losing his stardom due to his
self-sufficient behavior.

ACTOR
Ahan. Nice.
MAROOFI
He’s become pyscologically ill due
to loneliness. Is liye wo apna ik
imaginary friend bana leta hai who
happens to be a rat. Basically, it
unfolds his life journey, his love
life, his struggles.

ACTOR
I see.
MAROOFI
But the best part about it is that
it is a feel good tragedy. The star
gets his lost shine back. By doing
more substantial roles.
ACTOR
I like the idea. Very unique.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 34.

MAROOFI
Yes. Studios are loving it. Unko
lagta hai is main Oscar jeetne ka
potential hai. You know I have
never bothered about it.

ACTOR
Yeah. Neither do I.
MAROOFI
Tou shuru karen narration?

ACTOR
Sure.
MAROOFI
Betho. Let me grab the script. Fade
out hone lagta hai. Dobara se kuch
girnay ki awazen aane lagti hain.
MAROOFI(CONT’D)
Aah. This bloody rat.

The End.