English Project PDF
English Project PDF
SUBMITTED BY
Rishi Nandharaj Sivakumar
in
ENGLISH CORE
Subject Code:301
DECEMBER 2022
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INTERNAL EXAMINER.
WHAT IS A PODCAST?
But, what about those hard things, moments, and experiences? Isn’t
there value in them, even if they’re not fun in the moment? Aren’t
they important in not only making us who are, in fostering confidence,
competence, and resilience? In making life truly good, and equipping
us with the resilience to get through the times when it’s not? And,
what about that age-old notion of toughness? What’s really going on
there? Can we be tough, but also gentle, vulnerable, open?
Look at the language we use: we say to “man up,” and tell people they
are “soft.” In the corporate world, we prop up the companies that
create slick-looking ads promoting values of inclusion and diversity,
all while the inner workings of those organizations are littered with
abuse, hostility, and harassment. We’ve chosen the glitzy Instagram
filter of toughness. It’s the bully version, projecting strength, masking
the hurt and insecurity within. Some of the world’s best performers
tell us that the old school method backfires. Demanding parents and
coaches lead to less disciplined, less persistent individuals. It fails in
the military, where the most resilient soldiers show high levels of
emotional flexibility, and high levels of humble confidence. It fails in
sport, where athletes who fall for the old model play out of fear,
leading to worse performance.
If you’re like me and grew up in sports, you learned that feelings are
enemies. Don’t show emotion. Ignore what you feel. We send the
same message in the workplace, parenting, and beyond. Our inner
world isn’t the enemy. It protects from physical or psychological
threat, such as shielding our ego from the bruise of failing a job
interview. Feelings and emotions are messengers from our bodies that
relay what’s going on. Don’t shun them; decipher their language
instead.
It’s not just meditators. It’s the child who doesn’t jump from
frustration to temper tantrum. The basketball player who doesn’t miss
a shot, and then fear that she’s lost her touch. The spouse who can
listen to their partner, instead of yelling during an argument.
Responding is keeping our head cool amid chaos.
Whenever you feel the urge to react, pause, take a few deep breaths,
and sit with that urge. You are training your mental muscle to be in
control, to be considerate, and deliberate with your response. In a
world that pushes us towards reacting, slowing down to respond is a
skill society desperately needs.
But the effects weren't limited to the season with that coach. The
impact stretched to the player's entire career. The player's career
trajectory shifted a notch downward. Not only did their performance
drop, but the coach's style rubbed off on them. Those players had
more technical fouls (an indicator of aggression) throughout the rest of
their career.
When you look at what works over the long haul, research shows that
athletes perform better and are more resilient when their basic
psychological needs are met. When an environment provides these
four things, they perform better:
This isn’t just in sports. In the workplace, a recent study of over 1,000
office workers showed that the strongest predictor of how well they
dealt with demanding work was whether they felt respected and
valued by their managers. In other research, those who report feeling
more autonomy and less micromanaging have higher levels of job
satisfaction and performance. Toughness is amplified when we have a
choice and feel like we can make a difference.
The New Yorker, Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The
Guardian, Business Insider, and ESPN The Magazine.
Steve received his undergraduate degree from the University of
Houston and a graduate degree from George Mason University. He
currently lives in Houston, Tx with his wife Hillary. Once upon a time,
he ran a mile in 4:01 in high school, at the time the 6th fastest high
school mile in US history.