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Introduction
1. Accompaniment:
The accompaniment takes different forms and shapes depending on the particular pastoral
situations. Accompaniment includes fidelity to the church teaching and awareness of how
the teaching is being received or even able to be perceived. This church is called upon to
offer support and guidance to families and to accompany and illuminate them with the light
of the gospel.
The word accompaniment is derived from the Medieval Latin word ‘cum-panio’ which
means ‘the one who has the bread in common’. 2 To accompany means to share something
vital like the bread of journey. For the Oxford Dictionary, the noun accompaniment means
1
POPE FRANCIS, Post- Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia (15 May 2016) n. 8, in AAS 108 (2016).
2
N. KANNAMUNDAYIL, Formative Accompaniment an Emmaus Experience: Integral Approach to Religious
Formation, Dharmaram Publications, Bangalore 2011, 110.
2
“something that accompanies something else.” The verb accompaniment means “to go some
were with,” “follow,” “go with.” “Guide,” “belong,” and “tag along with.”3
The accompaniment can be defined as a temporary help that an elder brother or sister in
faith and in discipleship gives to younger brother/sister in faith, sharing with him or her the
experience of the way, so that he/ she can discern the action of God in his/ her life and
decide to respond to it with freedom and responsibility. 4 Keeping this in mind we enter into
the Bible and find a group of vocabularies and events which give us the experience of
accompaniment of God with humanity, those who were on a journey to become people of
God. Accompaniment of God inspired many people like Abraham, Moses, Jacob, Isaac and
Joshua, Judges, Kings, and Prophets to be good accompanying mediators between God and
the people.
1.3 Definitions
In Amoris Laetitia Pope Francis defines accompaniment as a central criterion for the
pastoral care of the family.5 In pedagogical and andragogical language: the accompaniment
can be defined as a temporary and a systematic help given by an experienced adult or a
mature person to another person who in the process of maturation , by sharing the way of
daily life and helping him/her to make suitable decisions in the life with freedom and self-
awareness so that one becomes capable of taking the responsibility of his/her own future.
1.4.1 To Accompany
3
Cfr. “Accompaniment”, in A.S. HORNBY (Ed.), Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, University Press,
Oxford 2005, 8.
4
Ibid., 57.
5
Cfr.J. GRANADOS- S. KAMPOWSKI- J. PEREZ-SOBA, Accompanying, Discerning, Integrating A Handbook for
the Pastoral care of the Family According to Amoris Laetitia, Emmaus Road Publishing, United State, 2017, 3.
6
Cfr.N. KANNAMUNDAYIL, Transforming Accompaniment in Consecrated Life an Integral Approach to
Religious Formation jn the Light of the Emmaus Experience, Alwaye Publications, Alwaye 2009,20.
3
During our terminological clarification we noticed that the etymological significance of the
word to accompany is to share the bread of the journey. This quality of accompaniment is
well developed in Lukan Gospel “walking with those who are searching; listening with care
to the story they tell; offering another interpretation of the discouraging events; waiting and
respecting their freedom to walk on; accepting the invitation to share a meal; breaking the
bread as the climax of the story; rushing home eager to share the discovery with others”
(Crf. LK 24: 13=35).7
Accompaniment is about starting with the methodology that Jesus himself adopted in order
to meet us as it were by accident and to show us the way to the father. Jesus (as master) is
the one teaches us the art of accompaniment through which true disciples are formed. 10 He
accompanied his disciples on the road to Emmaus after his Resurrection (LK 24: 13;33),
showing us the points of reference for every common journey. The word of God, the
sacraments, and communion with the church, all represented by the Cenacle to which the
two disciples returned later that night. The Risen Christ goes before the apostles (Crf. MK
16: 7), opening paths for them by which to encounter all human beings. His kingdom
7
Ibid.
8
Cfr. Ibid., 42.
9
Ibid.
10
Cfr. Ibid., 43.
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consists in the reality of personal relations that always begin quietly, but then proceeds with
an internal vitality capable of changing the world.11
The ministry of accompaniment is a collaborative effort of priests, religious and laity who
understand themselves to be missionary disciples, who experience the love of the Lord in
their encounter with Him and who seek to share it with others. The ministry of
accompaniment is very dear to Pope Francis. One can notice that the ministry mentioned
from his first encyclical, Lumen Fidei to the present one Amoris Laetitia. He points out
many ways we could accompany the family today.13
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that is required is that marriage preparation must stop being treated as something marginal; a
formation that certain people receive at specific times but which has no impact on the
overall pastoral work of the church16. Pope Francis says that instead marriage preparation
must become the real, active concern of the whole ecclesial community; “I encourage
Christian communities to recognize the great benefit that they themselves receive from
supporting engaged couples as they grow in love. 17
Hence, Christian marriage preparation
can be described as a journey of faith which does not end with the celebration of marriage
but continues throughout family life.18
Therefore, our perspective does not close with marriage as an act, at the moment of its
celebration, but is on- going.
The same principle that is proposed for accompanying couples during the first years of their
marriage life must also be applied to marriage preparation: “the parish is a place where such
experienced couples can help younger couples, with the eventual cooperation of
associations, ecclesial movements and new communities.”19 The document Amoris Laetitia
speaks with great pastoral wisdom about this preparation on two levels: one general since
the common desire of all young people is to learn true love, and the other specific, for those
who in fact have become formally engaged. 20 The training courses are to provide
educational programs which can help people express adequately their desire for love in in a
proper language of sexuality. In today’s social and cultural context of North India, where
sexuality is often separated from the overall workings of true love, the family, while
maintaining its privileged spot in education, cannot be the only place for teaching sexuality.
This calls for devising within the framework of the pastoral support of families, true and
proper programs which are addressed to both individuals and couples.21
16
Cfr. POPE FRANCIS, Post- Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia, cit., n. 207.
17
Ibid.
18
Ibid.
19
POPE FRANCIS, Post- Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia, cit., n. 223.
20
Ibid.
21
SYNOD OF BISHOPS, XIV Ordinary General Assembly, The vocation and mission of the family in the church,
cit., n. 86.
22
J. ALLENCHERRY, Family Apostolate, Madhyastan Books, Changanacherry 2015, 117.
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the faith and Christian values within the family; proximate preparation, which coincides
with the various programs of catechesis and the formative experiences lived within the
ecclesial community; and immediate preparation for marriage, 23 which is part of a broader
program, characterized by the vocation to marriage itself.
23
SYNOD OF BISHOPS, XIV ORDINARY GENERAL ASSEMBLY, The Vocation and Mission of the Family in the
Church, cit., n.57.
24
Cfr. POPE JOHN PAUL lI, Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio, cit., n. 66.
25
PONTIFICAL COUNCIL FOR THE FAMILY Preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage, cit., n.28.
26
Cfr. VATICAN ECUMENICAL COUNCIL II, The Constitution of Sacred Liturgy Sacrosanctum Concilium
(07.03. 1965) n.42.
27
Cfr. Ibid., n. 32.
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based first of all on a catechesis sustained by listening to the word of God, interpreted with
the guidance of the Magisterium of the church, in view of an ever-greater understanding of
the faith and giving witness to it in concrete life. 28 The engaged should receive instruction
regarding the natural requirements of the interpersonal relationship between a man and a
woman in god’s plan for marriage and the family: awareness regarding freedom of consent
as the foundation of their union, the unity and indissolubility of marriage, the correct
concept of responsible parenthood, the human aspects of conjugal sexuality, the conjugal act
with its requirements and ends, and the proper education of children. All of these are aimed
at knowing the moral truth and forming the personal conscience.29
This preparation should also ensure that Christian engaged person have correct ideas and a
sincere “setire cum ecclesia” regarding marriage itself, the mutual role of a woman and a
man in a couple, the family and society, sexuality and openness towards others. 30 The final
result of this period of proximate preparation should be a clear awareness of the essential
characteristics of Christian marriage: unity, fidelity, indissolubility, fruitfulness; the
conscience of faith regarding the priority of the sacramental grace which associates the
spouses, as subjects and ministers of the sacrament, to the love of Christ, the bridegroom of
the church; the willingness to carry out the mission proper to families in the educational,
social and ecclesial areas.31 The pre-marital programme might also be given by married
couples who are capable of accompanying engaged couples before their marriage and in the
initial years of marriage, thereby showing the value of the ministry of married couples.
Giving value to interpersonal relationship in the church’s pastoral activity will encourage
the gradual opening of minds and hearts to the fullness of God’s plan.32
28
Cfr. Ibid., n. 33.
29
Cfr. Ibid., n. 34.
30
Cfr. Ibid., n. 35.
31
Cfr.Ibid.
32
SYNOD OF BISHOPS, XIV ORDINARY GENERAL ASSEMBLY, The Vocation and Mission of the Family in the
Church, cit., n. 58.
33
Ibid., n. 94.
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participation in ecclesial life and thoroughly treat the various aspects of family life. This
calls for better collaboration among various pastoral initiatives- youth, family catechesis,
movements and associations - so as to give more of an ecclesial sense to the formation
process. Now the problem in the diocese is that marriage preparation course is arranged for
those youth, who are going to marry within six months and for this, three days instructions
are given. Hence, it looks like sacrament-oriented programme. Therefore, it is very much
necessary to accompany them even after their engagement.
According to XIV Synod of bishops the aims of immediate preparation are the following: a
synthesis of the previous preparation, especially its doctrinal, moral and spiritual content,
thus filling in eventual gaps in basic formation. b) experiences of prayer (retreats, spiritual
exercises for the engaged) in which the encounter with the lord can make them discover the
depth and beauty of the supernatural life. c) a suitable liturgical preparation which also
envisages the active participation of the engaged, with special attention to the sacrament of
reconciliation. d) make use of the canonical talks that are envisaged with the parish priest,
so that everyone can get to know one another better. 36 The immediate preparation for the
sacrament of marriage must find suitable occasions to introduce the engaged couple to the
rite of marriage. As well as deepening the Christian doctrine on marriage and the family
with particular attention to moral duties, in this preparation the engaged should guide to take
an informed and active part in the marriage celebration, and understand the meaning of the
liturgical actions and texts. Immediate preparation is a favorable occasion to begin the on-
34
Ibid., n. 57.
35
Cfr. VATICAN ECUMENICAL COUNCIL II, Pastoral Constitution Gaudium et Spes cit., n. 49.
36
Ibid.
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going pastoral care of marriage and family. From this point of view, the preparation needs to
be carried out so that spouses know their mission in the church. 37 Here they can be helped
by the richness offered by specific family movements, so as to cultivate a spirituality of
marriage and the family and the way they fulfil their tasks within the family, the church and
society. The preparation for the engaged should be accompanied by sincere and deep
devotion to Mother Mary, Mother of Church, the queen of the family38. The engaged
themselves should be taught to recognize that Mary’s presence is active in the family as it is
in the wider church. Likewise, they should be taught to imitate Mary in her virtues. Thus,
the Holy Family, the home of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, makes the engaged discover “how
sweet and irreplaceable education in the family is.”39
The initial years of marriage are a vital and sensitive period during which couples become
more aware of the challenges and meaning of married life. Consequently, pastoral
accompaniment needs to go beyond the actual celebration of the sacrament. In this regard,
experienced couples are of great importance in any pastoral activity. Synod of bishops says
that everyone agrees that sharing experiences of married life might help younger families
develop a greater awareness of the beauty and challenges of marriage. The growth of the
family to maturity calls for a strengthening of the network of relationship among couples
and their creating meaningful ties.40
37
Cfr. PONTIFICAL COUNCIL FOR THE FAMILY Preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage, cit., n. 57.
38
Ibid., 58.
39
Ibid.
40
Ibid., 59.
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individuals just beginning the journey of life; they come from two separate sub- cultures,
with the intention merging them together.41 That is to say, their primary task is to develop a
mode of life suitable for them. And for this, they need the support and care from family
members especially from parents and from the local church. Therefore, pastoral
accompaniment needs to go beyond the actual celebration of the sacrament. 42 In this regard,
experienced couples are of great importance in any pastoral activity. Though these initial
years are a vital yet delicate period, during which couples grow in an awareness of their
vacation and mission. The parish is the place where experienced couples may be made
available to the younger ones, possibly in conjunction with association, ecclesial movements
and new communities. In this way, newly married couples ought to be encouraged to remain
open to the guidance of the experienced couples. At the same time, the importance of the
family spirituality, prayer and participation in Sunday mass can also be stressed and couples
can be encouraged to meet regularly to promote growth in their spiritual life and solidarity
in the practical needs of life. a personal encounter with Christ through the reading of the
word of God, in the community and in homes, especially in the form of lectio divina (divine
reading), is source of inspiration for families, especially on the anniversary of marriage,
sustain the family’s spiritual life and its missionary witness.43
41
Ibid.
42
Ibid.
43
POPE FRANCIS, Post- Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia, cit., n. 211.
44
Ibid.
45
J. ALENCHERRY, Family Psychology, Madhyastan Books, Changanacherry 2018, 141.
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many ways such as making their own house, due to separate job and working place, live in
rent house, government quarters, hostels, abroad etc. these families need separate and
special attention and caring from family members and from the local parish church. Church
should arrange various programs for these couples such as child caring, rights and duties of
parents, family catechesis, how to prepare a family budget, spiritual guidance, regular
confession, holiness of family life, sacramental nature of marriage and family-oriented
homilies etc.
Conclusion
In Amoris Laetitia we got the idea about Pope Francis passion and concern for family life in
the church and the world. He wants every family to be joyful and vibrant. Through this
paper I intend to suggest that the pastoral care is meant to offer assistance to the faithful so
that the matrimonial state is preserved in its Christian character, and develop in perfection.
The purpose of marriage preparation is to stimulate growth or spiritual and human
development on which depends the possibility that new family can responsibly achieve its
task in society and in the church. It is easy to build a house but difficult to maintain and it is
easy to become a priest but difficult to maintain the priesthood. To maintain priesthood, we
have regular spiritual activities like prayer, rosary, retreats and monthly recollection,
spiritual readings etc. Therefore, the same way we need to arrange regular programmes for
the pre-married couples as well as married couples and accompany them in their life journey
because without family no church can exist. Hence as a pastor, I will be giving care and
support to both, would be married and married couples in my diocese.
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BIBLIOGRAPHY
CHURCH DOCUMENTS
POPE FRANCIS, Post- Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia (15 May 2016) in AAS 108 (2016).
POPE JOHN PAUL II, Encyclical Letter Vertatis Splendor (06.08.1993) in AAS 85 (1993).
POPE JOHN PAUL lI, Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio (22 Nov 1982) in AAS 74 (1982).
SYNOD OF BISHOPS, XIV Ordinary General Assembly, The vocation and mission of the family in the church
and the Contemporary World, Instrumentum Laboris, Preparatory Document, Vatican City (24 oct 2015).
VATICAN ECUMENICAL COUNCIL II, The Constitution of Sacred Liturgy Sacrosanctum Concilium (07.03.
1965).
BOOKS
A.S. HORNBY (Ed.), “Accompaniment”, Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, University Press, Oxford
2005, 8.
GRANADOS J., - KAMPOWSKI S., - PEREZ-SOBA J., “Accompanying, Discerning, Integrating” A Handbook for
the Pastoral care of the Family According to Amoris Laetitia, Emmaus Road Publishing, United State, 2017, 3.
CHOONDAL G., “Family Catechesis in Amoris Laetitia”, in National Symposium 2017, Understanding Amoris
Laetitia in the Indian Situation (15 oct 2017), XXIa-9.
SYNOD OF BISHOPS, XIV ORDINARY GENERAL ASSEMBLY, The Vocation and Mission of the Family in the
Church and Contempororary World Instrumentum Laboris, Preparatory Document, Vatican City (24 oct 2015)
58.
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