Child development: 10-12 years

From 10 to 12 years of age, children start to move from "childhood" to a view of a more adult world that they will clearly
want or be forced to join in the near future. Your eleven year old can frequently be the most vulnerable of this group and
your ten and twelve year olds tend to be less worried and more confident. However, all three ages share a view of
adulthood from this particular "developmental hill", and the state of the world and the state of adult relationships and adult
life surrounding them will be of great interest to them in making up their minds whether or not "adulthood" is to be desired.

Important note
The information in this topic is a guide only. Children develop at different rates and in different ways. If you are worried
about your child's development or if your child's development is very different from other children of the same age, have a
talk with a health professional. If there is a problem, getting in early will help. If there isn't a problem the reassurance will
save you some worry.

Social and emotional development

 The world is becoming a more complex place for the child who is beginning puberty.
 Your ten and eleven year old may well have a ‘best’ friend with whom they share activities, but at the same time
relationships at school will begin to be more complicated, competitive and changeable. This can be particularly true of girls
whose group relationships tend to be more up and down than the boys. Boys seem to be more focused on the details of
what they are doing rather than with whom they are doing it.
 By eleven your child is much more interested in, and affected by, the norms of their friends and you may see the first flutter
of independent wings. They may begin to worry that their clothes aren’t ‘cool’ enough and at the same time lose interest in
family activities [picnics, outings, holidays] that they adored and needed at nine.
 This can be a difficult time for some parents, particularly mothers, as their children become more independent and less
welcoming of the love and care they have been pleased to receive over the past eleven years.
 Although eleven and twelve year olds may begin to start wanting to do things more independently, and they do need to
stretch their wings a little bit, they are certainly not as capable of dealing with the world as some of them would have you
believe or as they sometimes think themselves, so it is good to check out situations to make sure they are safe before they
go off on their own.

Physical and sexual development

Your child’s body will begin to change shape over these three years.
Girls
Girls will grow buds of breasts at ten or eleven, her hips will take shape and she may begin to menstruate at eleven or
twelve. Eleven is an early start for a first period and even at twelve and thirteen girls are not always emotionally prepared
and welcoming of this powerful sign of approaching fertility.
When her periods begin your daughter may be proud and excited to be growing up like all her friends or she may, in the
back of her mind, be anxious about approaching adolescence and the complications that this introduces into her life. Her
biology demands that she be a woman soon - whether she likes it or not! How she feels about it will be strongly affected by
her impression of how well adult life has treated her mother and the women close to her. Womanhood may seem rich and
pleasurable or scary and hard.
Boys
The physical changes and emotional challenges are not so dramatic for boys at this age, as they tend to mature physically
a little later than girls. However around twelve some boys experience masturbation and nocturnal emissions.
Boys of this age can be very competitive; and success at sport, or his social position in the playground may be close to
your son's heart and a source of concern for him.
 Cognitive development
Around eleven children not only start to take account of 'the bigger picture' but they also develop a capacity to reason, and
'work things out' that they didn't have before. This can be accompanied by some cheeky 'smart talk' that they didn't have at
ten but they can also be interesting and funny to be with.
Many will be preparing to go to High School and school work will take on a new seriousness which challenges them to think
for themselves.

Relations with parents

Because eleven or twelve year olds may be making first efforts at independence this can change the relationship with
parents. Boys may move away from a close relationship with their mothers and girls who have had a good relationship with
their fathers may become a little emotionally distant with them.
In a two-parent family the other parent can frequently take up the slack. Some mothers and daughters begin to enjoy a new
period of closeness and the same for fathers and sons. It is different however for a single parent. Parents who do not have
a sexual relationship with a partner and who have put all their emotional energy into raising their child may find it raises
some difficulties for them.
If you are a single parent it is important that you have a chance to talk to a sympathetic adult about the changes you see in
your maturing child. If there are any extended family or close friends, enlist their help! Your eleven and twelve year old may
need safe adults around who are a bit more distant than you are to them.

What you can do

 Encourage ten year olds into some physical activity that will help them to keep a good relationship with their body. Not all
kids like team sports, but there is bush walking, swimming and skate boarding, and, if finances allow, maybe horse riding,
ice skating .
 Watch them play sport or take them to a club, eg Guides or Scouts.
 Notice how they are responding to the changes in themselves and their friends.
 Look after yourself and do what you can to make adulthood look attractive.
 Don’t panic if your eleven or twelve year old wants some distance from you.
 Continue safe limits and take an interest in where they are going and what they are doing.
 Encourage your family's relationship with extended family and other families.

What to watch for

 Sometimes your child can get a bit 'wobbly' around the eleven or twelve year mark. They can get over-anxious or over-
enthusiastic about approaching adolescence. Changing demands at school can show up some weaknesses for children
who had coped happily enough until now and social life at school can be a competitive challenge.
 If your child's reading or writing is not up to average it may not be noticed until now and it's a chance to do something to
help before high school. Talk with your child's teacher.
 If you are worried about your child's development or their adjustment to growing up, talk to a sympathetic adult or health
professional.

Your children may or may not be good company at this stage but they need you as much as they ever did!

Summary

 The age between ten and twelve is generally a time when children get a view of approaching adulthood.
 There are important physical and sexual changes for your child especially if she is a girl.
 Social relationships can be unsettled for girls and very competitive for boys.
 Activities, sports and clubs can help them to feel good about themselves and form safe relationships outside the family.
 Your children still need guidance and safe limits from you but they also need to be a little more independent.

Puberty
Puberty is the time of change when young people begin to develop the outward signs of becoming an adult and when they
become able to reproduce (have a baby). Puberty starts when hormones from part of the brain (pituitary gland) act on the
ovaries or testes to begin sexual changes in both boys and girls.

Changes for both girls and boys

 The skin often becomes oily, often resulting in pimples (acne). (See the topic 'Acne' for more information)
 Hair often becomes oily and may require more frequent washing. After a while, the body will become used to the hormonal
changes and the oiliness of the hair will settle down.
 The sweat glands become more active resulting in increased perspiration and requiring young people to shower more
frequently and possibly to use a deodorant.
 Changes will occur in the voice of both boys and girls, but more especially in boys. The voice will become lower and more
adult in sound. Boys will find their voices will crack and squeak when they are speaking and this may last for a few months
and up to a whole year, while the vocal chords become fully developed.
 A growth spurt occurs which takes place over 2-3 years. Girls may grow up to 11 cms in a year, and boys up to 13 cms in
a year. Teenagers will still grow a further 1 to 2 cms after the main growth spurt.

Puberty in girls

 Usually begins between 9-14 years. It can begin as early as 8 or later, up to 16 years and still be quite normal.
 It takes approximately 2 years from the start of puberty until a girl has her first period.

First stage (first 2 years)

 The visible physical changes start with changes to the breasts (budding).
 Her hips will widen and pubic hair will begin to grow.
 Both breasts do not necessarily grow at the same rate. The difference in size is not permanent. However, if there is a
marked difference, seek advice from a doctor.
 Under arm hair develops next and the hair on legs and arms will become darker.
 Girls do most of their growth spurts in both height and weight in the first 2 years of puberty.
 They may start to have regular mood swings and even abdominal pain up to a year before periods start.

Second stage (next 2 years)

When a girl first starts menstruating:

 her periods may be irregular

 the period loss may be very slight or quite heavy
 a period may last from three to seven days, with a heavier loss at the start of the period
 many girls get pain on the first day of periods (often after they have started ovulating - producing eggs)
 usually, girls do not ovulate for the first few months to a year or so after their periods start. There may be a whitish
discharge at the time of ovulation
 once girls start to ovulate, they are fertile (able to have a baby)
 some girls suffer from mood changes and other symptoms of pre menstrual tension for up to a week before their period
 too much exercise or weight loss can cause periods to stop or become irregular after they have started
 her body will develop more into the shape of a woman over the next 2 years. Her hips will become rounded and more
shapely
 once periods have begun, girls continue to grow in both height and weight but more slowly
 girls grow an average of 5 - 11 cm a year in height and add an average of 3 - 5.5 kgs per year of weight for 3-4 years.

How parents can support girls

 Help girls to see that this is an important and exciting milestone in growing up.
 Girls should be prepared for their first period, what to expect, what periods are like and what they mean, how to be
prepared, by carrying a pad in a purse etc.
 Younger girls may need help in understanding how to use a pad or tampon and what to do with used ones.
 Explain the need for hygiene eg to change pads/tampons regularly including not using tampons overnight.
 Make sure that her school has a place that she can be private, somewhere she can dispose of pads, someone to turn to if
she is having too much pain etc.
 Reassure the girl that it is usual for a girl's breasts to be slightly different in size but that the difference is not noticeable to
others.
 Talk about the possibility of periods being irregular both in how much blood she loses and how often they happen.
 If she has a lot of pain with her period, a hot water bottle, some exercise or a warm bath may help and pain relief medicines
such as paracetamol or ibuprofen (see your pharmacist). If the pain is distressing, other medicines can help. Talk to a
doctor.
 If her period does not start when her friends are starting, reassure her that it will happen. Some girls like to wear a bra
before they need one to feel part of the group. A soft bra, like a sports bra, can be good to start with.
 Consult a doctor if she has not had a period by the time she is 16 or 17, or if periods stop after they have started.

Puberty in boys

 Boys usually start to change and develop about 2 years after girls, from about 11 to 13 years
 Usually, the first visible signs are developing pubic hair and growth of the genital organs (penis and testes). These are
followed by growth of under arm hair, then hair on the face, upper lip, legs and abdomen.
 Hair does not start to grow on the chin until the genital organs are fully developed.
 Boys experience involuntary ejaculations during sleep (wet dreams), often with erotic dreams from early puberty, and need
to be reassured that this is normal.
 They also need to know that masturbation is normal and does not cause health problems if they do not know this already.
 Boys grow an average of 7 - 13 cm a year in height and an average of 4.5 -9 kgs per year for weight for approximately 4
years.
 Many boys develop some breast tissue during the changes of puberty. It starts like the development of breasts in girls, but
it stops while there is only a small amount of breast tissue. This is normal and the breasts flatten again by the end of
puberty. See the topics 'Gynecomastia' on the Teen Health and Kid's Health sites.
 How parents can support boys

 Reassure their son that testes are often not exactly the same size. In most men, the left testis is lower than the right.
 If the testes are very small, or not both in the scrotum, consult a doctor.
 Reassure the boy, if he is concerned because he is very thin and tall, that he will probably gain weight as he gets older.
 If a boy is worried about the size of his penis, reassure him that sexual functioning does not depend on penile size, and
that erect penises are usually very similar in size.

Emotional changes

 Unexplained changes of mood are part of the hormonal changes of puberty. Sometimes they seem to start almost
overnight. There may be very sudden explosions of anger or slumps into misery and also swings from feeling independent
and free to wanting the parental support they had in childhood.
 Young people are needing to establish their own identity as separate from parents. This often means not doing what
parents want for a while until they feel secure enough to agree without feeling they have lost their identity.
 Young people are having to learn very quickly to adjust to an entirely new body shape and they become very interested in,
and often very sensitive about, how they look.
 They may be very embarrassed about their bodies and try to hide them by wearing loose clothing and they often have an
intense need for privacy when they are not fully dressed.
 There is a need for privacy and personal space in other ways as well. Young people more often share their secrets and
innermost thoughts with friends than with parents. They are intensely private about their bedrooms.

Blushing

 When someone is anxious or upset, their body makes adrenalin (epinephrin) so that they can fight or run away (depending
on what is needed).
 Nowadays fighting or running away is not usually either possible or useful, but the adrenalin is still made.
 One effect of adrenalin is to make the heart beat faster, and another is to dilate (expand) the blood vessels which causes a
flush (or blush).
 Both of these mean that there is more oxygen and energy going to muscles ready for fighting (or running away).
 Almost everyone flushes and has a faster heart rate in some situations eg when standing up in front of a group or when
they are angry, but most other people do not notice.
 On some people, especially those with pale skin, the flush is easier to see, but most people would think that the person is
being brave for standing there and talking even though he is flushed.
 Because this flushing and fast heart rate is a natural reaction of the body, stopping it means interfering with the normal
reactions of the body, and is not recommended.
 Practising talking in front of groups (or whatever the situation is that causes blushing) can help a person feel more
confident, even though sometimes the flush still comes. This is the best way of managing.
 In many places there are meetings where you can learn and practice how to talk in front of a group. Toastmasters** is one
such group in Australia.
 If anxiety is getting in the way of being able to do something important, talk to your doctor. Some medications may help, but
it is not safe to take these all of the time.
 What parents can do

 Compliment their young people about their looks and what they do well. Even if they brush compliments off - they still hear
them.
 Support young people in taking care of their bodies and feeling good about them even if it seems excessive, eg hours in
the bathroom, or very different hair cuts. Try to negotiate some limits, eg how long is reasonable for a shower.
 If young people want to change their bodies in permanent ways eg tattoos, talk with them about the pros and cons of this,
and ask them to think about alternatives such as tattoo stamps or henna tattoos (henna is painted on and stays for several
days). If they are sure they want to do it, read the topic 'Body piercing' on the Young Adult section of this web site - and
ask them to read it too if you are comfortable about what is in it.
 Avoid mentioning things like pimples directly (it can seem like criticism). If parents know a brilliant 'cure' it is best to wait
until the young person says something or leave information about, or talk about it indirectly.
 Accept that young people will make lots of mistakes as they try their wings and try not to say "I told you so". Help them see
that we all make mistakes and mistakes are to learn from.
 Think about what the young people's behaviour means. It is usually not just to "get at" parents, but because they are
struggling with becoming individuals and all the other pressures of adolescence. The meaning parents make of it affects
how they respond.
 Try to keep calm when young people suddenly become angry or attacking. Letting it develop into a major argument does
not help. It is best to accept that they are feeling that way at the time and when they have cooled down talk about whatever
the problem is.
 Parents are not necessarily to blame even if it seems they are being blamed. It is often easier to take out hurt and angry
feelings at home where the young person feels safe. However it is important to try to 'get into their shoes' to see if parents
can do something differently that will help.
 Do not push to find out everything the young person is thinking and feeling. Keep the opportunities for sharing open by
spending time together without pressure and being interested in their interests. If they do share feelings try to listen without
criticism or taking over. Be available.
 Talk things over with your partner or other parents of teenagers. It helps to get it into perspective.
 Encourage them by your attitude and what you say to see puberty as an exciting new development in their lives.

Separated or single parent families

 Girls and boys often feel more comfortable talking about personal issues with someone of their own sex. If this cannot be a
parent there may be another adult who relates well to young people who could do this. This happens even with very caring
parents and is part of growing up.
 Developing adolescents need their privacy respected whatever the family structure.
 If girls are living with their father for part of the time there needs to be a place at his house where pads or tampons are kept
in case a period starts during this time. Her mother (or another woman) could arrange this with the father before periods
start and then let the girl know what she can do and that her privacy will be respected.
 Girls also need to be told how to dispose of used pads or tampons at their father's house eg put them in plastic bags and
take them to the rubbish bin, or have a special lidded bin for the girl in the bathroom.

Parents' feelings

 Adolescence brings big changes for parents as well as for young people. The beginning of puberty signals the changes
that will take your child from your care and control to being an independent adult.
 Parents need to be able to 'let go' many things that have been a big part of your lives.
 It is important for parents to spend time thinking of your own needs, new directions etc.
 Parents also need to be aware that they may have feelings of disappointment and loss if a young person chooses a
different direction from the one you felt would be best, and to accept that you have done your part and may not be able to
change the young person's directions.
 Parents do have a right to say how you feel and what you believe in a caring way, but accept that your young person has
the final choice. Parents need to make sure they have thought through what they believe so they can back up what they
say with reasons.
 Remember young people still do need their families, no matter how it may seem, and caring parents are the best support
they can have.
Middle Childhood (9-11 years of age)
Developmental Milestones

Your child’s growing independence from the family and interest in friends might be obvious
by now. Healthy friendships are very important to your child’s development, but peer
pressure can become strong during this time. Children who feel good about themselves are
more able to resist negative peer pressure and make better choices for themselves. This is
an important time for children to gain a sense of responsibility along with their growing
independence. Also, physical changes of puberty might be showing by now, especially for
girls. Another big change children need to prepare for during this time is starting middle or
junior high school.
Here is some information on how children develop during middle childhood:

Emotional/Social Changes

Children in this age group might:

 Start to form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes more
emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex.
 Experience more peer pressure.
 Become more aware of his or her body as puberty approaches. Body image and eating problems
sometimes start around this age.

Thinking and Learning

Children in this age group might:

 Face more academic challenges at school.

 Become more independent from the family.
 Begin to see the point of view of others more clearly.
 Have an increased attention span.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:

 Spend time with your child. Talk with her about her friends, her accomplishments, and what
challenges she will face.
 Be involved with your child’s school. Go to school events; meet your child’s teachers.
 Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a sports team, or to be a
volunteer for a charity.
 Help your child develop his own sense of right and wrong. Talk with him about risky things friends
might pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical dares.
 Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—involve your child in household tasks like cleaning
and cooking. Talk with your child about saving and spending money wisely.
 Meet the families of your child’s friends.
  Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage her to help people in need. Talk with her
about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.
 Help your child set his own goals. Encourage him to think about skills and abilities he would like to
have and about how to develop them.
 Make clear rules and stick to them. Talk with your child about what you expect from her (behavior)
when no adults are present. If you provide reasons for rules, it will help her to know what to do in
most situations.
 Use discipline to guide and protect your child, instead of punishment to make him feel badly about
himself.
 When using praise, help your child think about her own accomplishments. Saying "you must be proud
of yourself" rather than simply "I’m proud of you" can encourage your child to make good choices
when nobody is around to praise her.
 Talk with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty.
 Encourage your child to read every day. Talk with him about his homework.
 Be affectionate and honest with your child, and do things together as a family.

Child Safety First

More independence and less adult supervision can put children at risk for injuries from falls
and other accidents. Here are a few tips to help protect your child:

 Protect your child in the car. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration recommends that
you keep your child in a booster seat until he is big enough to fit in a seat belt properly. Remember:
your child should still ride in the back seat until he or she is 12 years of age because it’s safer there.
Motor vehicle crashes are the most common cause of death from unintentional injury among
children of this age.
 Know where your child is and whether a responsible adult is present. Make plans with your child for
when he will call you, where you can find him, and what time you expect him home.
 Make sure your child wears a helmet when riding a bike or a skateboard or using inline skates; riding
on a motorcycle, snowmobile, or all-terrain vehicle; or playing contact sports.
 Many children get home from school before their parents get home from work. It is important to
have clear rules and plans for your child when she is home alone.

Healthy Bodies
 Provide plenty of fruits and vegetables; limit foods high in solid fats, added sugars, or salt, and
prepare healthier foods for family meals.
 Keep television sets out of your child's bedroom. Limit screen time, including computers and video
games, to no more than 1 to 2 hours.
 Encourage your child to participate in an hour a day of physical activities that are age appropriate and
enjoyable and that offer variety! Just make sure your child is doing three types of activity: aerobic
activity like running, muscle strengthening like climbing, and bone strengthening – like jumping rope
– at least three days per week.
Young Teens (12-14 years of age)
Developmental Milestones

This is a time of many physical, mental, emotional, and social changes. Hormones change
as puberty begins. Most boys grow facial and pubic hair and their voices deepen. Most girls
grow pubic hair and breasts, and start their period. They might be worried about these
changes and how they are looked at by others. This also will be a time when your teen
might face peer pressure to use alcohol, tobacco products, and drugs, and to have sex.
Other challenges can be eating disorders, depression, and family problems. At this age,
teens make more of their own choices about friends, sports, studying, and school. They
become more independent, with their own personality and interests, although parents are
still very important.

Here is some information on how young teens develop:

Emotional/Social Changes

Children in this age group might:

 Show more concern about body image, looks, and clothes.

 Focus on themselves; going back and forth between high expectations and lack of confidence.
 Experience more moodiness.
 Show more interest in and influence by peer group.
 Express less affection toward parents; sometimes might seem rude or short-tempered.
 Feel stress from more challenging school work.
 Develop eating problems.
 Feel a lot of sadness or depression, which can lead to poor grades at school, alcohol or drug use,
unsafe sex, and other problems.

Thinking and Learning

Children in this age group might:

 Have more ability for complex thought.

 Be better able to express feelings through talking.
 Develop a stronger sense of right and wrong.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:

 Be honest and direct with your teen when talking about sensitive subjects such as drugs, drinking,
smoking, and sex.
 Meet and get to know your teen’s friends.
 Show an interest in your teen’s school life.
 Help your teen make healthy choices while encouraging him to make his own decisions.
 Respect your teen’s opinions and take into account her thoughts and feelings. It is important that she
knows you are listening to her.
  When there is a conflict, be clear about goals and expectations (like getting good grades, keeping
things clean, and showing respect), but allow your teen input on how to reach those goals (like when
and how to study or clean).

Child Safety First

You play an important role in keeping your child safe―no matter how old he or she is. Here
are a few tips to help protect your child:

 Make sure your teen knows about the importance of wearing seatbelts. Motor vehicle crashes are
the leading cause of death among 12- to 14-year-olds.
 Encourage your teen to wear a helmet when riding a bike or a skateboard or using inline skates;
riding on a motorcycle, snowmobile, or all-terrain vehicle; or playing contact sports. Injuries from
sports and other activities are common.
 Talk with your teen about the dangers of drugs, drinking, smoking, and risky sexual activity. Ask him
what he knows and thinks about these issues, and share your thoughts and feelings with him. Listen
to what she says and answer her questions honestly and directly.
 Talk with your teen about the importance of having friends who are interested in positive activities.
Encourage her to avoid peers who pressure her to make unhealthy choices.
 Know where your teen is and whether an adult is present. Make plans with him for when he will call
you, where you can find him, and what time you expect him home.
 Set clear rules for your teen when she is home alone. Talk about such issues as having friends at the
house, how to handle situations that can be dangerous (emergencies, fire, drugs, sex, etc.), and
completing homework or household tasks.

Healthy Bodies
 Encourage your teen to be physically active. She might join a team sport or take up an individual
sport. Helping with household tasks such as mowing the lawn, walking the dog, or washing the car
also will keep your teen active.
 Meal time is very important for families. Eating together helps teens make better choices about the
foods they eat, promotes healthy weight, and gives your family members time to talk with each
other.
 Limit screen time for your child to no more than 1 to 2 hours per day of quality programming, at
home, school, or afterschool care.
Teenagers (15-17 years of age)
Developmental Milestones

This is a time of changes for how teenagers think, feel, and interact with others, and how
their bodies grow. Most girls will be physically mature by now, and most will have completed
puberty. Boys might still be maturing physically during this time. Your teen might have
concerns about her body size, shape, or weight. Eating disorders also can be common,
especially among girls. During this time, your teen is developing his unique personality and
opinions. Relationships with friends are still important, yet your teen will have other interests
as he develops a more clear sense of who he is. This is also an important time to prepare
for more independence and responsibility; many teenagers start working, and many will be
leaving home soon after high school.

Here is some information on how teens develop:

Emotional/Social Changes

Children in this age group might:

 Have more interest in the opposite sex.

 Go through less conflict with parents.
 Show more independence from parents.
 Have a deeper capacity for caring and sharing and for developing more intimate relationships.
 Spend less time with parents and more time with friends.
 Feel a lot of sadness or depression, which can lead to poor grades at school, alcohol or drug use,
unsafe sex, and other problems.

Thinking and Learning

Children in this age group might:

 Learn more defined work habits.

 Show more concern about future school and work plans.
 Be better able to give reasons for their own choices, including about what is right or wrong.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your teen during this time:

 Talk with your teen about her concerns and pay attention to any changes in her behavior. Ask her if
she has had suicidal thoughts, particularly if she seems sad or depressed. Asking about suicidal
thoughts will not cause her to have these thoughts, but it will let her know that you care about how
she feels. Seek professional help if necessary.
 Show interest in your teen’s school and extracurricular interests and activities and encourage him to
become involved in activities such as sports, music, theater, and art.
 Encourage your teen to volunteer and become involved in civic activities in her community.
 Compliment your teen and celebrate his efforts and accomplishments.
 Show affection for your teen. Spend time together doing things you enjoy.
  Respect your teen’s opinion. Listen to her without playing down her concerns.
 Encourage your teen to develop solutions to problems or conflicts. Help your teenager learn to make
good decisions. Create opportunities for him to use his own judgment, and be available for advice
and support.
 If your teen engages in interactive internet media such as games, chat rooms, and instant messaging,
encourage her to make good decisions about what she posts and the amount of time she spends on
these activities.
 If your teen works, use the opportunity to talk about expectations, responsibilities, and other ways of
behaving respectfully in a public setting.
 Talk with your teen and help him plan ahead for difficult or uncomfortable situations. Discuss what
he can do if he is in a group and someone is using drugs or under pressure to have sex, or is offered a
ride by someone who has been drinking.
 Respect your teen’s need for privacy.
 Encourage your teen to get enough sleep and exercise, and to eat healthy, balanced meals.

Safety First

You play an important role in keeping your child safe―no matter how old he or she is. Here
are a few ways to help protect your child:

 Talk with your teen about the dangers of driving and how to be safe on the road. You can steer your
teen in the right direction. "Parents Are the Key" has steps that can help. Motor vehicle crashes are
the leading cause of death from unintentional injury among teens, yet few teens take measures to
reduce their risk of injury.
 Remind your teen to wear a helmet when riding a bike, motorcycle, or all-terrain vehicle.
Unintentional injuries resulting from participation in sports and other activities are common.
 Talk with your teen about suicide and pay attention to warning signs. Suicide is the third leading
cause of death among youth 15 through 24 years of age.
 Talk with your teen about the dangers of drugs, drinking, smoking, and risky sexual activity. Ask him
what he knows and thinks about these issues, and share your feelings with him. Listen to what he
says and answer his questions honestly and directly.
 Discuss with your teen the importance of choosing friends who do not act in dangerous or unhealthy
ways.
 Know where your teen is and whether a responsible adult is present. Make plans with her for when
she will call you, where you can find her, and what time you expect her home.

Healthy Bodies
 Encourage your teen to get enough sleep and physical activity, and to eat healthy, balanced meals.
Make sure your teen gets 1 hour or more of physical activity each day.
 Keep television sets out of your teen’s bedroom.
 Encourage your teen to have meals with the family. Eating together will help your teen make better
choices about the foods she eats, promote healthy weight, and give family members time to talk with
each other. In addition, a teen who eats meals with the family is more likely to get better grades and
less likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs, and also less likely to get into fights, think about suicide, or
engage in sexual activity.
Middle Childhood (6-8 years of age)
Developmental Milestones
Middle childhood brings many changes in a child’s life. By this time, children can dress
themselves, catch a ball more easily using only their hands, and tie their shoes. Having
independence from family becomes more important now. Events such as starting school
bring children this age into regular contact with the larger world. Friendships become more
and more important. Physical, social, and mental skills develop quickly at this time. This is a
critical time for children to develop confidence in all areas of life, such as through friends,
schoolwork, and sports.

Here is some information on how children develop during middle childhood:

Emotional/Social Changes
Children in this age group might:

 Show more independence from parents and family.

 Start to think about the future.
 Understand more about his or her place in the world.
 Pay more attention to friendships and teamwork.
 Want to be liked and accepted by friends.

Thinking and Learning

Children in this age group might:

 Show rapid development of mental skills.

 Learn better ways to describe experiences and talk about thoughts and feelings.
 Have less focus on one’s self and more concern for others.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this
time:

 Show affection for your child. Recognize her accomplishments.

 Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—ask him to help with household tasks, such as
setting the table.
 Talk with your child about school, friends, and things she looks forward to in the future.
 Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage him to help people in need.
 Help your child set her own achievable goals—she’ll learn to take pride in herself and rely less on
approval or reward from others.
 Help your child learn patience by letting others go first or by finishing a task before going out to play.
Encourage him to think about possible consequences before acting.
 Make clear rules and stick to them, such as how long your child can watch TV or when she has to go
to bed. Be clear about what behavior is okay and what is not okay.
 Do fun things together as a family, such as playing games, reading, and going to events in your
community.
  Get involved with your child’s school. Meet the teachers and staff and get to understand their
learning goals and how you and the school can work together to help your child do well.
 Continue reading to your child. As your child learns to read, take turns reading to each other.
 Use discipline to guide and protect your child, rather than punishment to make him feel bad about
himself. Follow up any discussion about what not to do with a discussion of what to do instead.
 Praise your child for good behavior. It’s best to focus praise more on what your child does ("you
worked hard to figure this out") than on traits she can’t change ("you are smart").
 Support your child in taking on new challenges. Encourage her to solve problems, such as a
disagreement with another child, on her own.
 Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a team sports, or to take
advantage of volunteer opportunities.

Child Safety First

More physical ability and more independence can put children at risk for injuries from falls
and other accidents. Motor vehicle crashes are the most common cause of death from
unintentional injury among children this age.

 Protect your child properly in the car.

 Teach your child to watch out for traffic and how to be safe when walking to school, riding a bike, and
playing outside.
 Make sure your child understands water safety, and always supervise her when she’s swimming or
playing near water.
 Supervise your child when he’s engaged in risky activities, such as climbing.
 Talk with your child about how to ask for help when she needs it.
 Keep potentially harmful household products, tools, equipment, and firearms out of your child’s
reach.

Healthy Bodies
 Parents can help make schools healthier. Work with your child’s school to limit access to foods and
drinks with added sugar, solid fat, and salt that can be purchased outside the school lunch program.
 Make sure your child has 1 hour or more of physical activity each day.
 Limit screen time for your child to no more than 1 to 2 hours per day of quality programming, at
home, school, or afterschool care.
 Practice healthy eating habits and physical activity early. Encourage active play, and be a role model
by eating healthy at family mealtimes and having an active lifestyle.
Preschoolers (3-5 years of age)
Developmental Milestones

Skills such as naming colors, showing affection, and hopping on one foot are called
developmental milestones. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a
certain age. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move
(like crawling, walking, or jumping).

As children grow into early childhood, their world will begin to open up. They will become
more independent and begin to focus more on adults and children outside of the family.
They will want to explore and ask about the things around them even more. Their
interactions with family and those around them will help to shape their personality and their
own ways of thinking and moving. During this stage, children should be able to ride a
tricycle, use safety scissors, notice a difference between girls and boys, help to dress and
undress themselves, play with other children, recall part of a story, and sing a song.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some of the things you, as a parent, can do to help your preschooler during this time:

 Continue to read to your child. Nurture her love for books by taking her to the library or bookstore.
 Let your child help with simple chores.
 Encourage your child to play with other children. This helps him to learn the value of sharing and
friendship.
 Be clear and consistent when disciplining your child. Explain and show the behavior that you expect
from her. Whenever you tell her no, follow up with what he should be doing instead.
 Help your child develop good language skills by speaking to him in complete sentences and using
"grown up" words. Help him to use the correct words and phrases.
 Help your child through the steps to solve problems when she is upset.
 Give your child a limited number of simple choices (for example, deciding what to wear, when to
play, and what to eat for snack).

Child Safety First

As your child becomes more independent and spends more time in the outside world, it is
important that you and your child are aware of ways to stay safe. Here are a few tips to
protect your child:

 Tell your child why it is important to stay out of traffic. Tell him not to play in the street or run after
stray balls.
 Be cautious when letting your child ride her tricycle. Keep her on the sidewalk and away from the
street and always have her wear a helmet.
 Check outdoor playground equipment. Make sure there are no loose parts or sharp edges.
 Watch your child at all times, especially when he is playing outside.
 Be safe in the water. Teach your child to swim, but watch her at all times when she is in or around
any body of water (this includes kiddie pools).
 Teach your child how to be safe around strangers.
  Keep your child in a forward-facing car seat with a harness until he reaches the top height or weight
limit allowed by the car seat’s manufacturer. Once your child outgrows the forward-facing car seat
with a harness, it will be time for him to travel in a booster seat, but still in the back seat of the
vehicle.

Healthy Bodies
 Eat meals with your child whenever possible. Let your child see you enjoying fruits, vegetables, and
whole grains at meals and snacks. Your child should eat and drink only a limited amount of food and
beverages that contain added sugars, solid fats, or salt.
 Limit screen time for your child to no more than 1 to 2 hours per day of quality programming, at
home, school, or child care.
 Provide your child with age-appropriate play equipment, like balls and plastic bats, but let your
preschooler choose what to play. This makes moving and being active fun for your preschooler.
Developmental Milestones

Skills such as taking turns, playing make believe, and kicking a ball, are called
developmental milestones. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a
certain age. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move
(like jumping, running, or balancing).

Because of children’s growing desire to be independent, this stage is often called the
"terrible twos." However, this can be an exciting time for parents and toddlers. Toddlers will
experience huge thinking, learning, social, and emotional changes that will help them to
explore their new world, and make sense of it. During this stage, toddlers should be able to
follow two- or three-step directions, sort objects by shape and color, imitate the actions of
adults and playmates, and express a wide range of emotions.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some of the things you, as a parent, can do to help your toddler during this time:

 Set up a special time to read books with your toddler.

 Encourage your child to take part in pretend play.
 Play parade or follow the leader with your toddler.
 Help your child to explore things around her by taking her on a walk or wagon ride.
 Encourage your child to tell you his name and age.
 Teach your child simple songs like Itsy Bitsy Spider, or other cultural childhood rhymes.
 Give your child attention and praise when she follows instructions and shows positive behavior and
limit attention for defiant behavior like tantrums. Teach your child acceptable ways to show that
she’s upset.

Child Safety First

Because your child is moving around more, he will come across more dangers as well.
Dangerous situations can happen quickly, so keep a close eye on your child. Here are a few
tips to help keep your growing toddler safe:

 Do NOT leave your toddler near or around water (for example, bathtubs, pools, ponds, lakes,
whirlpools, or the ocean) without someone watching her. Fence off backyard pools. Drowning is the
leading cause of injury and death among this age group.
 Encourage your toddler to sit when eating and to chew his food thoroughly to prevent choking.
 Check toys often for loose or broken parts.
 Encourage your toddler not to put pencils or crayons in her mouth when coloring or drawing.
 Do NOT hold hot drinks while your child is sitting on your lap. Sudden movements can cause a spill
and might result in your child’s being burned.
 Make sure that your child sits in the back seat and is buckled up properly in a car seat with a harness.
Healthy Bodies
 Talk with staff at your child care provider to see if they serve healthier foods and drinks, and if they
limit television and other screen time.
 Your toddler might change what food she likes from day to day. It’s normal behavior, and it’s best not
to make an issue of it. Encourage her to try new foods by offering her small bites to taste.
 Keep television sets out of your child's bedroom. Limit screen time, including video and electronic
games, to no more than 1 to 2 hours per day.
 Encourage free play as much as possible. It helps your toddler stay active and strong and helps him
develop motor skills.
Toddlers (1-2 years of age)
Developmental Milestones

Skills such as taking a first step, smiling for the first time, and waving "bye-bye" are called
developmental milestones. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a
certain age. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move
(like crawling, walking, or jumping).

During the second year, toddlers are moving around more, and are aware of themselves
and their surroundings. Their desire to explore new objects and people also is increasing.
During this stage, toddlers will show greater independence; begin to show defiant behavior;
recognize themselves in pictures or a mirror; and imitate the behavior of others, especially
adults and older children. Toddlers also should be able to recognize the names of familiar
people and objects, form simple phrases and sentences, and follow simple instructions and
directions.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some of the things you, as a parent, can do to help your toddler during this time:

 Read to your toddler daily.

 Ask her to find objects for you or name body parts and objects.
 Play matching games with your toddler, like shape sorting and simple puzzles.
 Encourage him to explore and try new things.
 Help to develop your toddler’s language by talking with her and adding to words she starts. For
example, if your toddler says "baba", you can respond, "Yes, you are right―that is a bottle."
 Encourage your child's growing independence by letting him help with dressing himself and feeding
himself.
 Respond to wanted behaviors more than you punish unwanted behaviors (use only very brief time
outs). Always tell or show your child what she should do instead.
 Encourage your toddler’s curiosity and ability to recognize common objects by taking field trips
together to the park or going on a bus ride.

Child Safety First

Because your child is moving around more, he will come across more dangers as well.
Dangerous situations can happen quickly, so keep a close eye on your child. Here are a few
tips to help keep your growing toddler safe:

 Do NOT leave your toddler near or around water (for example, bathtubs, pools, ponds, lakes,
whirlpools, or the ocean) without someone watching her. Fence off backyard pools. Drowning is the
leading cause of injury and death among this age group.
 Block off stairs with a small gate or fence. Lock doors to dangerous places such as the garage or
basement.
 Ensure that your home is toddler proof by placing plug covers on all unused electrical outlets.
 Keep kitchen appliances, irons, and heaters out of reach of your toddler. Turn pot handles toward the
back of the stove.
  Keep sharp objects such as scissors, knives, and pens in a safe place.
 Lock up medicines, household cleaners, and poisons.
 Do NOT leave your toddler alone in any vehicle (that means a car, truck, or van) even for a few
moments.
 Store any guns in a safe place out of his reach.
 Keep your child’s car seat rear-facing as long as possible. According to the National Highway Traffic
Safety Administration it’s the best way to keep her safe. Your child should remain in a rear-facing car
seat until she reaches the top height or weight limit allowed by the car seat’s manufacturer. Once
your child outgrows the rear-facing car seat, she is ready to travel in a forward-facing car seat with a
harness.

Healthy Bodies
 Give your child water and plain milk instead of sugary drinks. After the first year, when your nursing
toddler is eating more and different solid foods, breast milk is still an ideal addition to his diet.
 Your toddler might become a very picky and erratic eater. Toddlers need less food because they don’t
grow as fast. It’s best not to battle with him over this. Offer a selection of healthy foods and let him
choose what she wants. Keep trying new foods; it might take time for him to learn to like them.
 Limit screen time. For children younger than 2 years of age, the AAP recommends that it’s best if
toddlers not watch any screen media.
 Your toddler will seem to be moving continually—running, kicking, climbing, or jumping. Let him be
active—he’s developing his coordination and becoming strong.
Infants (0-1 year of age)
Developmental Milestones

Skills such as taking a first step, smiling for the first time, and waving "bye-bye" are called
developmental milestones. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a
certain age. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move
(like crawling, walking, or jumping).

In the first year, babies learn to focus their vision, reach out, explore, and learn about the
things that are around them. Cognitive, or brain development means the learning process of
memory, language, thinking, and reasoning. Learning language is more than making sounds
("babble"), or saying "ma-ma" and "da-da". Listening, understanding, and knowing the
names of people and things are all a part of language development. During this stage,
babies also are developing bonds of love and trust with their parents and others as part of
social and emotional development. The way parents cuddle, hold, and play with their baby
will set the basis for how they will interact with them and others.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your baby during this time:

 Talk to your baby. She will find your voice calming.

 Answer when your baby makes sounds by repeating the sounds and adding words. This will help him
learn to use language.
 Read to your baby. This will help her develop and understand language and sounds.
 Sing to your baby and play music. This will help your baby develop a love for music and will help his
brain development.
 Praise your baby and give her lots of loving attention.
 Spend time cuddling and holding your baby. This will help him feel cared for and secure.
 Play with your baby when she’s alert and relaxed. Watch your baby closely for signs of being tired or
fussy so that she can take a break from playing.
 Distract your baby with toys and move him to safe areas when he starts moving and touching things
that he shouldn’t touch.
 Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Parenting can be hard work! It is easier to
enjoy your new baby and be a positive, loving parent when you are feeling good yourself.

Child Safety First

When a baby becomes part of your family, it is time to make sure that your home is a safe
place. Look around your home for things that could be dangerous to your baby. As a parent,
it is your job to ensure that you create a safe home for your baby. It also is important that
you take the necessary steps to make sure that you are mentally and emotionally ready for
your new baby. Here are a few tips to keep your baby safe:

 Do not shake your baby―ever! Babies have very weak neck muscles that are not yet able to support
their heads. If you shake your baby, you can damage his brain or even cause his death.
  Make sure you always put your baby to sleep on her back to prevent sudden infant death syndrome
(commonly known as SIDS).
 Protect your baby and family from secondhand smoke. Do not allow anyone to smoke in your home.
 Place your baby in a rear-facing car seat in the back seat while he is riding in a car. Prevent your baby
from choking by cutting her food into small bites. Also, don’t let her play with small toys and other
things that might be easy for her to swallow.
 Don’t allow your baby to play with anything that might cover her face.
 Never carry hot liquids or foods near your baby or while holding him.
 Vaccines (shots) are important to protect your child’s health and safety. Because children can get
serious diseases, it is important that your child get the right shots at the right time. Talk with your
child’s doctor to make sure that your child is up-to-date on her vaccinations.

Healthy Bodies
 Breast milk meets all your baby’s needs for about the first 6 months of life. Between 6 and 12 months
of age, your baby will learn about new tastes and textures with healthy solid food, but breast milk
should still be an important source of nutrition.
 Feed your baby slowly and patiently, encourage your baby to try new tastes but without force, and
watch closely to see if he’s still hungry.
 Breastfeeding is the natural way to feed your baby, but it can be challenging. If you need help, you
can call the National Breastfeeding Helpline at 800-994-9662 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 800-
994-9662 end_of_the_skype_highlighting or get help on-line at
http://www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding . You can also call your local WIC Program to see if
you qualify for breastfeeding support by health professionals as well as peer counselors. Or go to
http://gotwww.net/ilca to find an International Board-Certified Lactation Consultant in your
community.
 Keep your baby active. She might not be able to run and play like the "big kids" just yet, but there’s
lots she can do to keep her little arms and legs moving throughout the day. Getting down on the floor
to move helps your baby become strong, learn, and explore.
 Try not to keep your baby in swings, strollers, bouncer seats, and exercise saucers for too long.
 Limit screen time to a minimum. For children younger than 2 years of age, the American Academy of
Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that it’s best if babies do not watch any screen media.
ABOUT PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT OF
CHILDREN 7-12 YEARS
PRINT

Mar 8, 2011 | By Michelle Powell-Smith

Michelle Powell-Smith has been writing on a variety of subjects from finance to crafts since 2004. Her work
appears on sites including eHow and ModernMom.com. She holds a bachelor's degree and a master's degree
in art history from the University of Missouri-Columbia, which has provided strong research skills and a varied
range of interests.

Photo Credit child image by Cora Reed from Fotolia.com

While many parents learn a lot about infant and early childhood development, parents often know less about
older children. Moreover, older kids see the pediatrician less often, so knowing the basics about physical
development can help you monitor and assess your child's growth and skills. These years are considered
middle childhood, school-age or we simply think of these kids as big kids instead of little ones.

Significance
Physical development in middle childhood is a part of your little kid becoming a big kid, but also plays an
important role in academic and social success. Physical development during these years includes growth,
changes in the brain, motor skills and coordination, loss of baby teeth and possibly the beginning of puberty.
While you're well past rolling over and first steps, monitoring your child's physical development can help you
make sure that your school-age child is on track.

Growth
Children typically grow 2 to 3 inches a year between ages six and 12. Gaining 5 pounds per year is normal and
appropriate as they grow. Increased body fat is typical for girls, and is usually not permanent, according to
BrightFutures.org. Sedentary lifestyles and poor food choices have made obesity a common problem among
school-age children, with some 22 percent of children classified as obese, according to the University of
Kansas.

Gross Motor Skills

During middle childhood, the ability to run, jump, catch and throw will improve. Increased skills allow for team
sports and similar activities for interested children. Skating, skipping and bike riding are typical skills gained
during middle childhood. Flexibility, balance, agility and force will all improve during these years as gross motor
skills further develop, according to the University of Kansas. Boys may show greater strength and muscle
development than girls.

Fine Motor Skills

Fine motor skills allow your school-age child to write, create artwork and learn to play an instrument. These
skills may develop somewhat younger in girls, according to the Mesa Community College Psych NetLetter.
Increased muscle strength and developments in the brain contribute to better fine motor skills. Between the
ages of six and eight, electrical impulses in the brain begin to travel faster, allowing for quicker muscle
response.