Why You Should Date Nate

by aella; I dated him seriously for about 9 months

Before I talk about why you should date Nate, I should clarify I’m probably speaking to a subset of
women who’s already overlapping with his culture a lot. If you’re very warm culture, there’s a good
chance you won’t be compatible with him and I probably would recommend you not try. He can go
into modes where he thinks entirely about work or math for weeks on end, and you probably won’t
get a lot of attention during these periods. He’s not very into parties or dancing or socializing, and
has a confidence/forcefulness in his speech that some (sometimes including me) can find
offputting. He’s firm in his own viewpoints in a way that can disrupt the way people navigate social
belief processes, which can be destabilizing for those vulnerable. I would not recommend dating
Nate if you don’t already have a strong grip on your reality and an ability to be clear about what you
feel and what you want.

That being said, Nate is great.

1. Nate is practically in a fantastic position for a serious relationship with potential for babies or
house buying. He’s very financially stable, he is great with money (a rare balance of
frugality and easy but laser-precise spending), and he’s considering having kids
2. Nate is super accepting. He might be one of the most accepting people I’ve ever met; when
I do things that usually annoys people (like being messy or being too tired to help clean or
not wanting to go get food even though they got me food yesterday) when I am having a
strong reaction that in other situations people might easily perceive as upsetting or
irrational, Nate has displayed pure compassion and lack of judgment. Being around Nate
has caused me to notice how many tiny flinches I have built in anticipating small social
punishments from others, because he never socially punishes me (For example; I am used
to people getting annoyed with me when I express discomfort with their driving, but he
never gets irritated at me for this, and actively reassures me it’s okay). He’s also deeply
accepting of himself; often past partners have had difficult behavior that comes out of
self-judgment or self-avoidance, and I’ve never seen Nate act from this. When I’m around
him, a part of me learns how to deeply relax and it’s seriously incredible and rare.
3. Nate has a ton of compassion for the world. He is very motivated by helping others;
something that doesn’t come from guilt or pressure, but calm, clarity, and genuine care. He
is really kind, of the unusual form that is untainted by obligation or politeness or doing what
he thinks he ‘should’ do; his kindness is pure and exactly aligned with what he wants.
4. He is super chill. It’s very difficult to make him angry, and he handles life bumps with calm
ease. If a car breaks down, or a flight gets canceled, this won’t bleed into his mood and
make him more irritable with you.
5. He is real competent andsmart. He comes to good conclusions with a lot of speed and
precision; he knows how to weigh what he wants and minimize time spent in pointless
middle grounds. He is high energy and really good at getting practical stuff done. I often
have the feeling that I can trust him to take care of me without it building any resentment on
his part.
6. Nate is clear and direct. He likes making explicit the implicit, he states directly his emotional
state and makes requests of yours, if he doesn’t like a thing then he says it without you
having to guess, his stated preferences are his actual preferences.
 7. Nate is full of rage and grief and defiance at the world. He sees the world as tragic, as
having the potential to be so much greater than it is. He keeps in contact with the sorrow of
others, and this is a weight he carries continually and close to his heart.
8. Nate is really good at sexual chemistry. His persistence, perceptiveness, and competence
makes him one of the few men I’ve met who doesn’t werewolf (or maybe, he’s just always a
wolf?). Obviously compatible kinks are important, but even if you’re not extremely
compatible he is still fantastic. (If you have anti-compatible kinks this might be less good,
though). His general attitude is that your arousal is his responsibility; in stark contrast to
many men I’ve dated who expected me to get aroused based on their default behavior and
were disappointed when I didn’t. He is great at using his voice, body language, and vibe to
yeet your mind into outer space.
9. Nate can be playful and affectionate. He loves physical contact and wrapping his body all
the way around you. He’s also deadpan hilarious; if you blink you’ll miss it.
10. I’m probably missing some things. Part of the reason we’re not working out is that we miss
each other in some deeper ways, and I anticipate there’s some more hidden, valuable parts
about Nate that I am not built to see - but maybe you’re the one to appreciate him with
greater depth and skill than I could!

If you’re interested, email him at [email protected], or fill out his “date me” survey here