PRETTY LIES

A TABOO NOVEL

NATALIE KNIGHT
Copyright © 2023 by Natalie Knight
All rights reserved.
Cover Design: © Book Cover Couture
Editing: Oopsie Daisy Editing
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means,
including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author,
except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
 CONTENTS

Trigger Warning & Author Note

The Official Playlist

1. Audrey
2. Beau
3. Audrey
4. Beau
5. Audrey
6. Beau
7. Audrey
8. Beau
9. Audrey
10. Beau
11. Audrey
12. Beau
13. Audrey
14. Beau
15. Audrey
16. Beau
17. Audrey
18. Beau
19. Audrey
20. Beau
21. Audrey
22. Beau
23. Beau
24. Beau
25. Audrey
26. Beau
27. Audrey
28. Beau
29. Audrey
30. Beau
31. Beau

Thank You
 TRIGGER WARNING & AUTHOR NOTE

If you bought this book, then you already know what you’re getting
yourself into. But another friendly reminder never hurt anyone.
This is an incest taboo story with the following tropes:
Incest between dad and daughter( blood relatives)
24+ year age gap
Jail Bait
Breeding Kink
Daddy Vibes
Virgin heroine
Slow Burn
Full Length Romance with a HEA.

A note to my international readers:

The characters embark on a road trip via Route 66. It’s also called the
the Mother Road. I use the names interchangeably throughout.
 Babydoll: Ari Abdul| Dark Things: Vic Mensa| MoneyonmyMind:
UPSAHL| Follow The White Rabbit: Madison Bear|Devil Saint: Luma|
Anti-Hero: Taylor swift

Plus 30 more songs. Click the link to listen on Spotify!

Listen Here
 1
AUDREY

Visit FileDB.io for more free books

I hated these parties, but Josi always dragged me to them like it was some
rite of passage. The joys of being at an all-girls Catholic boarding
school. The semester was ending soon, and she couldn’t give a rat’s ass
about the rules.
She had her eyes set on losing her V card by any means necessary. Even
if that meant having a two-pump party with the asshole jerk downing beers
as he ogled her from across the room.
“Come on, we have to go upstairs.” She pulled my arm and dragged me
toward the steps.
“Why? What’s upstairs?” I whined, letting out a breath of annoyance.
St. Mary’s Catholic School had two separate institutions. One for girls
and one for boys. According to the handbook, it was forbidden for the
opposite sex to frolic together, but I guess no one ever told the headmasters
that frolicking with boys was the main sport of choice at Catholic School.
We climbed the spiral staircase, passing expensive paintings on the wall
and a glass chandelier hanging over the wooden bannister. The house
reminded me of my stepdad’s house before he shipped me off to boarding
school like a bad smell someone needed to get rid of.
Josi pulled me, ignoring how my feet resisted the entire time. “I don’t
want to do this.” I jutted my hip and finally dropped my hand from hers.
She bopped her head from side to side, her cute dark-colored pigtails
swinging from side to side. “I’m not making you do anything. Just be my
emotional support human. Easy.”
 I rolled my eyes. I hated crowds. It was bad for my social anxiety, the
thing Josi always ignored. Only on days when I took my pills was I
somewhat functional in these types of situations, and today was one of
those days. I caught sight of St. Marys notorious bad boy leaning into a
post. He took a sip of beer as he stared me down, but before I could size
him up, Josi shoved me inside the dimly lit room. My eyes adjusted and
landed on a glass bottle in the middle of the floor.
“Spin the bottle? What are we in middle school?” I seethed.
I turned to head out the door, but she yanked me back and dragged me
to the circle. We plopped down, and it wasn’t until I got situated that it all
made sense. Josi’s crush sat across from us, with legs spread and slicked
back hair. Big black square glasses rested on his nose, and a smirk occupied
the left side of his mouth, exposing a shiny row of metal. What she saw in
him would remain a mystery. The dude smelled like mothballs and
toothpaste.
A pale arm reached out, and the room got quiet. We all waited with
anticipation as the bottle came to a slow stop, and Josi let out a low whine
as the bottle sealed the fates of two other students in the circle. The wooden
floor creaked beneath them as they stood, and it didn’t take a rocket
scientist to know how awkward the whole thing was. I didn’t know the guy,
but the girl was head of the math club and straighter than a needle. A thick
checkerboard headband tamed her frizzy hair and a pair of white socks
covered her legs.
Josi leaned into me, curiosity hot on her tongue. “Are they going to
fuck?” she whispered in my ear.
“How would I know? I’m just here for emotional support. Remember?”
They disappeared into the closet and shut the door. Chatter amongst the
group rekindled, and Josi joined in. I took this moment of downtime to
check my phone, in the hopes that I would have a message from him. The
man who left me and my mom when I was four years old. I opened my
messages, a wave of nervousness and hope cursing through me, but the
feeling was soon gone when I scanned the screen.
AUDREY
Hey. This is Audrey. Your daughter…

I cringed a little when I re-read my text. But what else was I supposed
to say to a man I haven’t seen or talked to in over thirteen years? I had a
hunch to send another message, but Josi knocked the phone out of my hand
the moment my fingers touched the screen.
“Hey.” I shot back as I picked up my phone.
“Give him time. It’s only been four hours. He’s probably working or
sleeping.” She flipped one of her pigtails over her shoulder and returned her
attention back to the dude across from her.
I let out a breath, and the chatter dissolved when the closet door opened.
All eyes were on them. Some students stared with suspicion, but Josi had a
goofy smile spread across her face. I wanted to smack it off and tell her just
how stupid this whole thing was. Everyone knew she had a crush on the
geeky dude sitting across from us. It would have made better sense for them
to just bang in the library on a Friday night.
“Do you think they did it?”
I turned to her and raised a brow. “No.”
She gasped and playfully slapped my shoulder with her hand.
“They were in there for like six minutes, though,” she said and blew a
perfect bubble from her overly glossed lips.
“Yeah, long enough to stare at each other,” I deadpanned.
The girl wiped her mouth, and the guy ran his sweaty palms down the
front of his khakis, and that’s when I saw it. A giggle erupted from my
throat, garnering the attention of the others in the circle.
“What? What?” Josi begged before pinching me on the arm.
I wiggled my brows up and down, and she craned her neck before
covering her mouth. A silent laugh followed, and she held her belly as she
closed her eyes. “Well, they definitely weren’t just standing there.”
I stretched my legs and leaned back on my hands. “No, they made out,
and he came in his pants like a weirdo.”
“He’s probably a virgin, like the rest of us. At least he’s trying to get
laid before graduating.”
The argument on my tongue died when a hand reached out to touch the
bottle and the room became quiet once more. I wasn’t even playing the
stupid game, and yet a surge of anxiety ripped through me as the bottle
spun. I side-eyed Josi as the bottle slowed, and my words caught in my
throat. No. No. No.
“OMG!” Josi screeched.
I inched away from the circle, as far away from the bottle as possible,
and looked at Josi. The guy stood, brushing away the creases in his beige
khakis before locking his eyes on me. I didn’t know what he expected, but I
refused to give him the time of day. Everyone looked in anticipation and
whispers followed between a few as the room stilled. If Josi couldn’t tell I
wanted to smack her sideways, she sure as did now.
“No,” I mouthed silently and moved my lips slower than a sloth so she
she would understand.
She looked around, and then back at me, jutting her head toward the guy
standing awkwardly amongst us. We had an entire one-minute conversation
that comprised of head nods, silent words, and eye rolling. I hated wanting
to be kissed so badly that I lowered myself to kissing a boy who I didn’t
even know from jack squat, but I refused to graduate high school without
crossing at least one thing off my ‘before I turn eighteen’ list. I let out a
breath and followed the guy into a nearby closet. Josi followed our
movements with wide eyes as she chewed on her bottom lip.
A lingering scent of cleaner and some sort of cologne filled the air, and I
shut the door behind us. Why me?
“So, uh…” he stuttered before pulling down his glasses.
I folded my arms across my chest and chewed on the inside of my lip as
I studied his movements. He wasn’t ’t tall, just a few inches taller than me
and I stood at a whopping 5’5 inches. He licked his chapped lips and
stepped forward. My stomach churned. This isn’t how I imagined my first
kiss would be. I looked around, my eyes slicing from the ceiling to the floor
and then landing back at the bug eyed boy in front of me.
This had to be what nightmares were made of. He pinched his eyes
closed and pouted his lips. He was going in for it, but I wasn’t.
“Stop,” I said, holding out my hand.
“We have to,” he insisted, worry etching its way into his features.
I let my shoulders slump and met his gaze. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
I stepped forward with my eyes on the door, but he grabbed my arm.
Before I could protest, his gross tongue was sliding across my face like
some sort of wild, wet tentacle.
“Eww.” I pushed him off, wiping the remnants of his artichoke dip
smelly breath from my face.
He stumbled back into the pile of towels, disbelief taking over his
features as if I was the one in the wrong. We stood in silence for a few
seconds, and then I opened the door. Josi’s wicked smile turned down as she
witnessed the fire in my eyes. Her mouth opened, and then closed, and I
dared her to say something. She didn’t.
The game continued, and Josi’s irritation increased. When she thought
all hope was lost, it was finally her turn, and it stopped an inch sideways
from her crush. Of course she did what Josi did best and moved it over with
her foot so it pointed directly at her geeky god.
I shook my head as she bounced away into the closet. Small chatter
started once more and Mr. Tentacle Tongue pinned me with his gaze. I
ignored him and looked down at my phone. Still nothing. I wondered about
my dad, curious what he did for work and how he looked. I couldn’t believe
Josi’s dad found him, but I also wondered if he wanted to be found?
Josi reappeared five minutes later, a smile bigger than a gator plastered
on her face. Was I jealous? Maybe. I really never thought much about boys
or sex until this year. Maybe Josi’s constant talk about it made me self-
conscious in some way.
“Come on, let’s go,” she said as she tugged me up from the floor.
“All done smooching?” I teased, following her through the middle of
the circle.
“For now.” She squeezed my hand. A wide grin formed at the edge of
her lips. “We’re going to fuck tonight,” she whispered.
“What? How? Where?” I fired off questions like a loose cannon because
I was partly interested in the logistics and partially concerned about her
getting caught.
“In his dorm, duh. Where else would it happen?”
I forced her against the wall. “No, you can’t, Josi. What if you get
caught?”
“I won’t get caught. How long have we been at this school? We both
know that the sisters go to bed at midnight every night, and from 1:00 am-
3:00 am there’s not a soul around.” She swung her arms around like a
maniac before picking up her red cup and taking a sip of beer. “Plus, I need
to do this. Who else are you going to ask for pointers when it’s your turn?”
I twirled a lock of hair around my finger as I racked my brain. She was
right. One of us had to go through the whole sex thing before we graduated.
Great.
“Fine, but promise you won’t get caught. I can’t bear to start college
without you.”
 She set the cup down and placed both hands on my shoulder.
“Promise.”

I paced outside the hall of our etiquette 101 class like a madwoman. Josi
has never been late to a class, and she’s certainly never been late to class
taught by the headmistress. We never knew if it was true, but there were
rumors that the key that hung around her droopy turkey neck opened a door
leading to her secret chambers.
Only six girls have run away from St. Mary’s in the past twenty years
from St. Marys, but everyone believed the headmistress locked them in her
lair. I peered up at the clock on the wall, and my stomach sank. She had
literally one minute to get here, and if she wasn’t here now, I doubted she
would be.
I headed inside and took my seat. The front row always remained empty
because the headmistress had a habit of spitting when she spoke. She started
her lecture, noting the empty seat that belonged to Josi. She cut her
attention to me and I looked forward, refusing to meet her gaze. Everything
she said for the first ten minutes went in one ear and out the other, and then
the door opened. Josi bounced in with the same makeup from last night
smeared across her face, and her pretty little pigtails were now in two thick
French braids on either side of her head. She looked messy, tired, and like
she was asking to get caught.
“Miss Wolfe, so nice of you to join us. When class is dismissed, please
meet me in my office.”
Her words were dry, with a hint of a threat laced between them. I went
to sleep as soon as I got back to the dorm last night. Now I instantly
regretted it. Maybe I should have stayed up to make sure my best friend
didn’t wake up late. Josi sat two chairs in front of me, and getting her
attention without making a fool of myself was almost impossible.
“Josi?” I strained once the headmistress turned her back. “Josi?” I said
once more, a little louder.
She turned, revealing a smile, and I wondered if she was on drugs. She
raised her pen and scribbled in the air, motioning me to pass a note. I rolled
my eyes and tore off a corner from my notebook.

? ?
 What happened? Why are you late?

I folded it and tapped the shoulder of girl in front of me as I pointed to

Josi. She looked just as annoyed as me, but took it. The note moved at sloth
speed as the girls watched the mistress’s movements. But it finally arrived,
and Josi snatched it out of the hand of the girl sitting across from her.
She turned and mouthed “slept over” in a slow motion and I froze. The
headmistress cut our conversation short, her eyes now glued to Josi. I
lowered my gaze and wrote down the notes from the whiteboard as the
headmistress walked over to Josi’s desk.
Her slim icy fingers snatched the note and her eyes sliced from left to
right as she read the words. “That’s a good question, Miss. Wolfe. One that
you can answer after class.” She crumpled the note and walked toward the
front of the room. “And Miss Black, you can reflect on your decision to
disrupt my class as you clean the kitchen tonight.”
“But I—”
The entire class jumped when she slammed her wooden stick on the
large desk. It meant two things. One, the conversation was now over, and
two, I wouldn’t be studying for my biology final tonight.
“You’ll be joining her also, Miss Wolfe. I hope you didn’t make any
plans tonight.”
We kept our eyes glued to the front of the class the entire time, and I
nearly jumped out of my seat when the bell rang. Josi had to stay behind so
I wouldn’t be able to talk to her until tonight. We had no other classes
together on Friday and it seemed like the day would drag on forever.

“Finally!” Josi yelled from down the hall. She did a light jog to catch up to
me as she hurled her heavy backpack behind her.
She wrapped her hands around me and pulled me to her side. Her hair
was still in her two braids, her face a disaster with day-old makeup, and her
pleated skirt wrinkled. But she was by my side, so I couldn’t complain too
much.
“It’s been hours since we talked,” I said as I adjusted the straps of my
backpack.
 Josi caught her breath and pulled her water bottle out of the side of her
backpack. When she lifted her throat, I caught a glimpse of a purplish
bruise nestled behind the collar of her shirt.
“What?” she asked, meeting my gaze.
“Nothing.” I shrugged.
Josi tilted her head to the side and squinted. “Don’t be judgy.” She kept
her eyes on me as she lifted the bottle to take another sip.
“Me? Judge? Really?”
She swung her backpack over her shoulder. “Come on, so we can clean
this kitchen.”
I followed her into the large, dark kitchen. We had our hopes up that
maybe the kitchen staff didn’t get the memo and cleaned anyway and we
could sneak back to the dorms, but once we turned the corner our eyes
locked on the beastly figure of the head cook. She stood in front of a long
industrial table, a blank expression on her face.
We looked around, wondering what we were going to clean because the
kitchen looked spotless, and then she stepped to the side. Two large buckets
filled with soapy water sat on the floor, along with two sponges and two
pairs of cleaning gloves.
“What’s that for?” Josi asked, an attitude slowly brewing on her tongue.
“For you. The kitchen is cleaned, but someone had an accident in the
cafeteria. We were going to clean it, then the headmistress informed us we
didn’t need to do it.” A hint of joy weaved its way between her words and
an evil smile followed.
She pushed the buckets forward with her worn shoe. Water splattered on
the floor from the movement. She gave us instructions on where the buckets
went after we completed our task, and how to lock the doors. We walked
through the dim cafeteria and stopped a few feet from a yellow sign that
read, WATCH YOUR STEP. A large glob of what looked like someone’s
vomit mixed with spilled food stared us in the face.
“Nope. Not doing it,” she protested and dropped the bucket, creating
another mess for us to clean up.
I turned and placed my hand on my hip. “We have to do it. Or else our
punishment will be worse.” I lowered the bucket to the floor and shoved my
hands into the gloves.
“Ugh. It smells and it’s dry! It’s going to take forever to clean this.”
 I kneeled in front of the mess, and a shiver of disgust ran down my
spine. Josi broke out in a mini temper-tantrum before screaming into the
void. Once she calmed down, she joined me and we got to work cleaning in
the hopes we would be done before midnight. We cleaned in silence for the
first twenty minutes, and then I stopped to retrieve my phone. Still nothing.
“Don’t do it.” Josi looked up at me as she squeezed her sponge.
“But it’s been a day now. It doesn’t take someone a whole day to reply
to a simple message.”
Josi let the sponge drop into the now dirty water and flung her wet
gloved hands around. “It wasn’t a simple text, though. You’re his daughter
and you let him know over text that you found him.”
I replayed her words and breathed in. She was right. It wasn’t a simple
text message, and maybe I crossed a line, reaching out to him.
“But…” she let her words die.
“What?”
“I would send him one more text. Maybe he dropped his phone in the
toilet and had to get a new one.”
I snorted and pulled my bottom lip through my teeth as I typed out one
more message. Audrey
Hey. This is Audrey. Your daughter….
AUDREY
Hey. I don’t know if you got my last msg, but I’ll be back home
next week if you want to meet. If not, just ignore this msg.

Once the message sent, I deleted the chat, and put my phone back into
my backpack.
“Good?” Josi asked as she scrubbed away at the floor.
I nodded, forcing myself to accept the possibility that maybe my dad
didn’t want to talk to me and there was nothing I could do about it.
 2
BEAU

I didn’t believe in God, but if I did, I was certain he would strike me

down for ignoring my daughter like a piece-of-shit human. I got her
text, and when it came through my phone last night, it had me reaching
for the bottle. Every question I could think of rose to the surface, with one
refusing to let me sleep all night. How the fuck did she find me?
The last time I spoke to her mother, she called me a coward, a loser and
every fucking name in the book, and I never forgot it. But she wasn’t
wrong, God, she wasn’t wrong. I was a coward, because I left her and my
beautiful baby girl to fend for themselves as I gave in to my demons and
insecurities. I wasn’t proud of it, hell it haunted me still to this day, but I
learned to live with the devil on my shoulder. I would be a liar if I told
anyone that my life was easier the day I left the two people who depended
on me. Truth was, my life just got harder. I spiraled until I hit rock bottom
with nothing and no one to my name. I’ve spent my life running from the
one person who could shatter me to pieces, and now here she was, sending
me a damn text.
“You wanna close or do you want me to do it?”
I swirled my chair to face Al, the man who brought me back to life after
I drowned my soul in anything that would numb me. He was an old man,
more like a father figure than anything else, and he had a past that made
mine look like child’s play.
“Nah, I got it. I got an after-hours client coming in soon. I’ll close up
once I’m done.”
A look of disdain danced across his thick brows, and he nodded as he
snatched his keys off the counter. He hated the side work I did, and still
couldn’t understand why I refused to give up after everything he did for me.
But bad habits are hard to break, and it’ll take something strong to knock
me off my rocker before I stopped paying hookers, smoking dope and
swinging drugs.
The bell hanging off the door rang, signaling Al’s departure. I stood,
stretched my legs and reached for my jean jacket. I hated summer because it
forced me to put away my leather one. Flipping open the pack of smokes, I
pulled one out, and rested the bud between my lips.
Al had cancer, so he didn’t allow me to smoke in the shop, not even out
back. One whiff of smoke in his direction and the horse coughs would start.
They were a pain in his ass and mine because I told him if he keeled over in
our tattoo shop I would never forgive him. Funny thing about Al, death
meant nothing to him. He had a hard life, a shit past and he’ll be grateful
enough if the gates of hell opened for him.
The moment I lit the smoke, the door chimed and my after-hour client
appeared. He looked like shit, or maybe not. I was biased because he was
my twin brother. Even in our old age, people still had a hard time telling us
apart, especially when I wore my hair tied up in a man bun. He sported a
shit-eating grin and got to work removing his shirt. The man ran out of skin
years ago, now he just came around for touchups.
“Fuck, I missed this chair.” He leaned back, getting comfortable as he
kicked his feet up.
I took another drag of my smoke and stared down at him. By the looks
of his clothes, he spent the day in the shop. He had a talent for fixing shit
and preferred to fix cars. Grease stains dotted his jeans and the lingering
scent of oil coated the air as he moved.
“Didn’t even bother to shower before coming in, I see.” I turned,
scanning the mess of a collage that covered the teal painted wall.
“Why would I? Smell good for you? Not a fucking chance.”
A goddamn riot, he was, but I never complained. He was the only
family I had; well, not really. He was the only family I acknowledged. I
looked down at my phone and started to type, but deleted it. Then I did it
again, typing and deleting like some lovesick thirteen-year-old boy texting
his crush for the first time. What the fuck.
I tossed my phone into my jacket and killed the cig. Blowing smoke
through my nose, I took a seat next to Finn and pulled on a pair of black
gloves. “Asshole. Now I have to sit here and smell your shit for two hours.
Thanks.”
A low chuckle bounced off his tongue. “You’re welcome.” He kept his
eyes closed and lifted one arm above his head.
“Left or right side of the chest?” I asked as I scanned the wall of ink
covering his entire chest and torso.
“Left.”
I cleaned his skin, loaded the ink and got to work. The buzz of the
needle was salving to me, and to Finn. I’ve given hundreds of tattoos over
the past ten years and he was the only person who could fall right to sleep
once the needle touched his skin. His body was a collage of memories, and
I couldn’t help the grin that formed on my lips as I glanced at the past. Our
past.
“What’s the grin for?” he asked.
“Damn, I thought you would be asleep. Isn’t the needle like your
melatonin?” I shot him a shit eating grin and sliced my gaze back to his
chest.
“Only when I’m not trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with
you.”
I pulled the needle away.“Me?”
He bit down on his bottom lip as he scrutinized me with his glare. I
scratched the edge of my beard and returned the needle, paying no attention
to the accusations. One thing about Finn, he had a bullshit radar that never
faltered. Lying to him was like lying to our grandmother. It never got you
far, came with a smack on the face and had you wishing you never lied.
“Nothing’s going on with me. Why? What makes you think
differently?” I held the needle steady, letting silence drape over us as the
sound of the buzzing drowned out the flickering mosquito light in the
corner.
He cleared his throat. “Al.”
Fucking hell. That damn old man.
I nodded, refusing to even challenge Finn. Al was an old man. An old
man with cancer who also liked to run his mouth. If he suspected anything
out of the ordinary with me, he took note and shared the news. I know why
he did it—to protect me. The hole he dug me out of was deep, and it would
kill him if he saw me end up in the same place twice. But being a
messenger to my overbearing twin was annoying. We weren’t stupid
twenty-year-old guys anymore; we were forty-two.
“Well?” he asked, running a hand through his wild hair.
“I didn’t text her back yet.”
“Why?”
His words caught me off guard. Did he just ask me why? “Why? Maybe
because I haven’t talked to Audrey since she was four years old.”
I breathed in, noting the blood rushing to my ears. I refocused on the
tattoo, mentally putting blinders on and ignored Finn for the few minutes
that passed. He kept his gaze on me, shifting between my hand and the side
of my face.
“And say what?” I shot back.
He shrugged and sliced his gaze to the ceiling. “She’s a teenager. She
wants to know you, or at least know how you look.”
“Right, and what if she wants more than that?”
“But that’s not what you’re worried about, is it?”
I wished I could punch him in the throat. I mean I could, but he would
return the favor tenfold. Connecting with Audrey had nothing to do with if
she wanted me to start acting like a father, and everything to do with her
reaction when she saw me. I’ve grown accustomed to the criticism of
strangers over the years. Their cold words and shitty opinions always went
in one ear and out the other, but Audrey was different. She was my daughter
and not knowing what her thoughts would be when we finally met scared
the shit out of me.

I finished Finn’s tattoo and closed the shop. Our little conversation about
Audrey ended with him telling me to man up and give her the attention she
deserved. I took it with a grain of salt; the thought crawling over my skin
like a bad memory. I’ve had a lot of things weigh me down over the years,
but making the decision to step back into my daughter’s life was the
heaviest one to date.
I slipped my arms through my jacket as I walked toward my bike.
Besides the tattoo shop, it was the second most expensive thing I owned,
and the one thing I cared about most. Finn always reminded me how saying
that out loud didn’t sound good, but I didn’t give a fuck what he thought.
My Harley never let me down and was reliable to a fault. This past decade
wasn’t a walk in the park, but every day ended on a high when I started her
up, and rode her home.
The smooth roar that peppered the air once I fired her up was like a
balm to my soul. A cloudless midnight sky greeted me as I powered down
the street before stopping at the intersection. I had two options. Turn left to
head home, or turn right. I choose right because numbing myself with
soothing elixirs sounded like a better option. Al not only owned half of the
tattoo shop, he also owned a shitty dive bar with his brother Frank. The
liquor was strong, and cheap, and they listened more than they talked.
Robust laughter, paired with strangled coughs, poured out of the
doorway of the bar. I inhaled, taking in the strong scents of sweat, liquor,
and cheap cologne. A blue-collar workers paradise. Everyone from
construction workers to plumbers were scattered throughout the bar. It was
the atmosphere that kept me coming back. I found a sense of pride being
surrounded by men who did the hard jobs, the jobs no one else wanted to
do. Yet they did them, and never complained.
“Look what the cat dragged in!” Frank yelled over to Al.
I shook off my jacket and placed it on the barstool next to me. “You
know by now I don’t head home until my blood is warmed.”
He slid over a tall water, followed by an empty shot glass. “Demons,
monsters or the devil tonight?” he asked, as he raised three strong liquors in
the air.
“All three.” I took a sip of water and let out a small sigh as it quenched
my parched tongue.
He had a knack for asking the men who sat at his bar what demons they
were running from, and depending on their answer he offered them a cure
for the night.
“Mmm. I don’t have to tell you the rules, do I?” He poured the Jack
Daniels into the shot glasses. “A few beers and no shots or water and two
shots.”
Ever since Al and Frank’s bar was responsible for a serious drunk
driving accident six years ago, they ran their bar by a set of rules for late
night solo drinkers. No one really put up a fuss, and they showed the door
to those who did. A drunk driver killed Frank’s son a few years back. He
wasn’t close to him, but it still stung. He’d rather have an angry customer
than more blood on his hands.
Sliding them over, he waited, and swung the old rag over his shoulder.
“All three?” He shook his head and let out a breath.
“Yea.” I said as I griped one shot glass between my fingers. I lifted it to
my lips and closed my eyes. Biting back a grunt as I slammed it down on
the bar, I picked up the other one, and repeated the process.
Fuck, it burned, but damn, did it work. Frank slid over the tall glass of
water, and I took a few sips. Shots weren’t really my thing, and I normally
stuck to beer after a long day’s work, but tonight I needed something that
would set my blood on fire.
Frank chuckled and tossed the empty glasses into the sink behind him.
“I thought your hardest days were behind you?”
I wiped the edge of my chin and ran a hand through my hair. “I thought
so too, but then I got a text from my daughter.” Releasing a steady breath, I
leaned onto the bar, and looked past Frank, eyeing the row of glass liquor
bottles.
He didn’t say a word, hell he didn’t have to. His face said it all, along
with the extra shot he poured for me once Al turned his back. My lips
tipped into a grin, and I shook my head.
“Breaking the rules? Not the Frank I know.”
“Yea, well, with the shit you just told me, I’ll bend a rule or two. But
keep your fucking flytrap closed.” He poured the clear liquor into the small
glass and slid it over. “It ain’t moonshine, but it’ll burn just as bad going
down,” he said, giving a slow wink before walking away.
He was right. It burned, and I liked it. He disappeared into the back, and
his pain the ass brother took his place. Al was a few years older than Frank.
A guy I befriended while behind bars almost two decades ago introduced
me to the brothers when I was out of work and out of options.
They had little at the time, still dusting their knees off from the shithole
they climbed out of, but they took one look at me and Finn and took us
under their wing. I needed a job that was legit, clean and paid cash. Where
the years went, I’ll never know, but I was grateful for these old men. They
helped me and Finn find our footing and somewhat start over.
“I saw Finn when I was leaving,” he said, and turned his back to lean
against the bar.
 No shit. “He told me, and then he got all in my ass about my attitude
this evening. You know anything about that?”
He shrugged. “Maybe…” He lifted his eyes to the flat screen in the
corner. “Well?”
“He told me to give her a chance. She’s a teenager.” I lifted the glass
and pressed the rim to my lips before taking a small sip.
“Seems harmless to me.” He turned, just enough for me to see the edge
of his scruffy chin.
I took one more final sip and hopped off the barstool. Al side eyed me
as I slid my arms through my jacket. There it was, that fatherly shit eating
grin he passed my way before leaving me with some sort of old man
wisdom. I reluctantly pulled my phone out and unlocked it and an ache
moved down my throat as I thumbed the message icon.
pulling my phone out of my back pocket, I unlocked it and pressed on
the message icon.
“See? That wasn’t so bad.”
I stared at the text message , focusing on the word Sent underneath it.
“Not bad yet,” I yelled back as I headed toward the door.
If life had taught me anything over the past years, it was that nothing
was ever as simple or harmless as it seemed.
 3
AUDREY

C leaning the kitchen was the worst. It took us over two hours to get the
dried vomit off the floor, on top of the three large bags of trash
waiting for us by the door. Once we were done with everything, we
smelled like a sewer, our skirts were wet, and our limbs were heavier than
bricks.
I scrubbed myself until every inch of my body was raw. Josi showered,
washed her face, and then slipped into something comfy, but sexy and
escaped to the guy’s dormitory. I cautioned her after what happened today,
and she whined, letting me know our last day of high school would be over
in two days and she’d never see her geeky guy crush again.
AUDREY
Hey. This is Audrey. Your daughter…
Hey. I don’t know if you got my last msg, but I’ll be back home
next week if you want to meet. If not, just ignore this msg.

DAD??
I don’t have a daughter.
But yea, we can meet.

When my eyes finally became heavy, the buzz of my phone shot them
open. The first buzz I ignored, semi-annoyed at Josi for leaving me for
some jerk nerd after we just got done scrubbing the floor for hours, but then
it vibrated again and I turned over to look. I blinked, then rubbed my hands
over my eyes to make sure what I was seeing was correct. He texted back.
 I bit down on my bottom lip, contemplating what I should say, then I
just went for it.
AUDREY
Wow, you really are a bad liar. I guess Mom was right.
DAD??
Mom?
AUDREY
Yeah. The woman you left stranded when I was a little kid.
She talked a lot about you.
DAD??
She said that?
AUDREY
Her words not mine….
DAD??
What else did she say?
AUDREY
Stuff…
DAD??
What kind of stuff?
AUDREY
Just stuff.
DAD??
It’s after midnight. Go to sleep.
AUDREY
Geez. You just met me and you’re already bossy.
DAD??
I’m not. I haven’t met you yet. It’s late and prob past your
bedtime.
AUDREY
I’m studying for my bio final. Mom said she used to hide
things in books because you never opened them.
DAD??
Fuckin hell. For the record I do read.
 AUDREY
*eye-roll emoji*
DAD??
How’d you find me?
AUDREY
None ya.
DAD??
You little shit. When are we meeting?
AUDREY
I thought you said you didn’t have a daughter?
DAD??
I changed my mind.
AUDREY
Figures. Mom said you did that a lot.
DAD??

Where do you stay?

AUDREY
I live Stonebridge. Its 2 hrs from Chicago. Where are you
located?
DAD??
Chicago
AUDREY
Really? So close. K. Umm, how about this Saturday?
DAD??
Haven’t always lived here. Only been in Chicago for past 3
years.
Deal. I’ll text you the deets Friday evening.
AUDREY
K.
DAD??
Now go to bed before I make you.
AUDREY
You wish.
 I stared at my phone for a few more seconds, hoping he would reply to
my last message, but he didn’t. That was fine, I had to continue to study for
my bio exam, anyway. I glanced at the time on my phone and read the time.
It was 2:00 a.m. and my exam was at 9:3o a.m. Although I was tired of
reading the same block of text over and over, the thought of closing my
eyes and getting a restful night's sleep was out of the question.
I closed the book, and let my head fall flat onto of the cover while I said
some sort of prayer to the test gods for tomorrow morning. Josi always
thought I was overreacting when I freaked out about tests. I studied every
day, even on weekends, and never got anything less than an A- on a test.
School meant a lot to me, because it was the only thing I had control over. It
was the only thing that if I did everything right, would open up the doors so
I could start my own path, away from my stepfather and his family.
My first love had always been art, but everyone knew that the money
didn’t come until after you croaked, and leeching off my stepfather,
although wealthy was something I didn’t want to do for the rest of my life. I
switched off the lights and peeled back the thick blanket. The air
conditioning throughout the dormitory made it feel like I was sleeping in a
freezer, and it was no better in the winter. Trading the icebox for an oven
six months throughout the year.
Still, sleep wasn’t on my mind, no matter how desperately I wanted to
close my eyes and let the day float away. My dad, the man who I wondered
about for years, was front and center, plaguing my every thought like a
thick cloud. In less than three days, I would see him face to face, and that
had my stomach doing flips. What did he look like? Josi tried her best to be
my internet detective, but nothing came back. It was almost as if he didn’t
even exist. I don’t know how she convinced her dad to help me, but once I
told her I wanted to contact him, she was handing me his number two days
later. Two months and three days had passed since she gave me the torn
sheet with his digits and I finally gave in, with the help of her nagging, of
course.
She claimed I had every right to text him because he was my parent, the
other half of me, although he’d been absent from my life. But it seemed
wrong, and I couldn’t shake the dampened feeling after I sent the first text.
He left my mom and me for a reason, and the little voice in the back of my
head wouldn’t let me forget it. Was I the reason he left all those years ago?
 DAD??
Night.

The vibration of my phone knocked me out of my cloud of thoughts and

I reached over to grab it. A tingle shot down my spine as I read the text, but
I stopped myself from giggling like a ten-year-old girl because this was my
dad. Not my boyfriend, not a crush, but my dad. I let my smile fade away
and typed on the screen.
AUDREY
Goodnight.

THREE DAYS LATER

“Knock knock.” The door to my dorm opened and a tall, slender woman
entered. She held a notepad close to her chest and looked around. “Well,
this should be easy.”
“Yeah, well, I started packing and getting rid of things a few weeks
ago.” I moved around her to stand in the doorframe.
I looked around the room I called home for the past four years, now
with bare walls. While everyone was excited to leave our educational
prison, I wasn’t particularly thrilled about heading home to my stepfather.
He had a coldness about him, always had, and the day my mother passed
away turned the slight chill he carried around with him into a frigid hell.
The woman checked the cabinets, the closets and under the beds. She
focused on the walls, looking hard for any scrapes or marks she could
record to bill my stepfather once I moved out. Josi's parents came to pick
her up yesterday. It was hard seeing her go, especially since she was
spending the summer at her grandparents’ house in Del-Mar. How would I
survive without my best friend?
“Will you be attending the graduation ceremony in the coming weeks?”
the woman asked, her pen gliding across the cream-colored paper.
I shook my head, and she raised a brow. Celebratory gatherings weren’t
really my thing. I couldn’t bear the crowds, the stares and the rock weighing
heavy on my chest the moment eyes landed on me. It was sad, but no one
but Josi and my step-grandfather had acknowledged my birthday or any
important event in my life since my mom passed, so I never bothered
attending such things. As long as I received my diploma in the mail, proof
that I finished high school with a solid 3.9 GPA that was more than enough
for me.
She gave a dissuasive nod, and wished me well in my future endeavors.
The same phrase every other teacher and staff member uttered to us over
the past week. I double checked my suitcase, and slid my arms through the
straps of my backpack. I mailed most of my belongings back home weeks
ago, so all I had was a carry on.
As I walked toward the entrance of the dorms, I spotted a long line of
black and gray sedans. Students climbed into their private cars one by one. I
spotted Graham’s car almost immediately. No matter where he went, he
always requested a double-French-door, midnight blue Lincoln Town Car. I
let out a breath as it pulled up, and the driver popped the trunk.
I climbed in and leaned into the soft leather. The school was a two-hour
drive from the private airport, and I intended to use the time to get my
thoughts together before being thrown back into Graham’s life. Utter
silence didn’t help, and I rummaged through my backpack for my
headphones when my phone vibrated in my lap.
DAD??
Hey
Did you pass all your exams or whatever?

It’s him. A bud of a smile tore at my lips as I stared at the screen. A row
of bubbles popped up, and butterflies swarmed my core. My brain turned to
mush, and I sliced my gaze away, only to have the driver stare at me.
“What?” I asked, pulling down my over-the-ear headphones.
“Do you have everything you need? Mr. Pierce wanted to make sure
you left nothing of value behind.”
“Yeah, I got everything.” I gave a weak smile, and he turned back
around.
I waited for a second, making sure he didn’t ask any more questions
before pressing the play button that would soon blast Taylor Swift’s latest
album into my ears. With my eyes glued back to my phone, I chewed on my
bottom lip as I eyed the next text.
 AUDREY
Yea. It was easy. I overstudied actually.
DAD??
Look at you. My babygirl being a little smart ass.

I twirled a lock of hair around my finger as I cut my gaze to the

window. My small bud of a smile formed into a full on grin, but vanished
when I looked in the driver's direction. He had his eyes on me. I bowed my
head and my thick curls floated around the sides of my face.
AUDREY
It’s true. I’m all books and brains
DAD?
Def not me. I’m all booze and booze. *wink*
AUDREY
Drinking is bad for the heart.
DAD??
The only thing bad for the heart is a woman breaking it. Just
sayin…
AUDREY
Didn’t take you for the sentimental type.
DAD??
Well, you do have a lot of learn little kitten.
What you got going on today?
AUDREY
Headed home. Just moved out of my dorm. The semester
ended. I’m officially done with high school.
DAD??
Damn. I’m proud of you kitten.
AUDREY
How can you be proud of someone you don’t even know? But
thanks anyway.
DAD??
Are you always such a Debbi downer?
And for the record you’re my flesh and blood and so I am
fuckin proud of you.
 AUDREY
Do you have any formal education?
DAD??
Yup. Sad to say I’m not a total loser.
AUDREY
Oh that’s good. So you’re just half a loser then? Or 50%
loser?
DAD??
Don’t think you’re too old for me to spank that ass when I see
you.
AUDREY
Good girls don’t get spanked. *tosses hair over shoulder*
DAD??
LOL! Oh kitten. You’ve got a lot of living to do.
How you getting home? Bus? Train?
AUDREY
More like private town car and then private jet. It isn’t as cool
as it seems. Just isolating and boring.
DAD??
Right right. I forgot you lived with that douche with the stick up
his ass.
AUDREY
You know Graham?
DAD??
Personally? No. But I’ve had my run in with him a few times
when your mom was alive.
AUDREY
Run in how?
DAD??
The details aren’t important anymore, but I know whatever is
shoved up his ass is dying to come out by now.
AUDREY
Hahahaha. You’re funny. Yea, he’s cold and doesn’t say much
to me. Are we still meeting tomorrow or did you forget?
DAD??
I never forget.
 AUDREY
You forgot about me, so…..
DAD??
That mouth of yours is going have you bent over my knee
little girl.
The Purple Rabbit. 4563 S. 87th St. @9PM
Can you get there on your own?
AUDREY
I can manage. I hope you show up.
DAD??
Why? Did you bet on me or something?
AUDREY
Just $50.
DAD??
A real piece of work you are. See ya tomorrow kitten.

I closed out of the messenger app and let Taylors voice seep into my
ears as I tried to calm my nerves. I didn’t know why, but texting him made
my heart go haywire, and I wondered what would happen when I met him
in person. Leaning back into the seat, I cut my gaze to the window, noticing
we were going full speed on the highway and it would only be a matter of
time before we arrived at the private airport.
Zoning in and out as the music took hold of me, I didn’t notice I
received another message until my phone lit up. My breath lodged in my
throat as I stared at the man on the screen. This was my dad? I felt bad for
staring at him for so long that I nearly dropped my phone trying to get back
to my music app, but there was no denying he was hot and I couldn’t wait
to meet him.
 4
BEAU

W aiting to close the shop early today had time moving slower than
molasses. After beating myself up, contemplating if I even wanted
to text my daughter back four days ago, here I was impatiently
waiting to meet her face to face. I pulled out my phone, anxious to see if I
had any missed texts from her.
“Got a hot date tonight or something?” the guy said from across the
room.
Al and I owned the tattoo shop, but we rented stations to artists who
paid their on time and stayed drama free. Mostly, they came, worked and
left without giving me or Al any grief.
“What’s it to you if I did?” I shouted back.
I wasn’t one to make friends easily. Besides the few good friends I made
while in prison over the course of my life, Finn was my number one. Next
to Al and Frank. It was easier that way. I could say the same about
relationships, and why I gave those up a long time. Life was just easier
when you weren’t trying to keep your emotions in check. You couldn’t let
anyone down if you didn’t keep anyone around.
“Just wondering because you keep checking your phone, that’s all.” He
stood and walked over to my station, plopping down on an empty stool
across from me. “Need any pointers?”
I ignored him and swiveled my chair until my back faced his front.
“No,” I deadpanned.
“I find that hard to believe. Come on, I hear it’s been a minute since you
went on a normal date?”
 His words caught me off guard. “A normal date?” I swiveled around
and glared in his direction. “You talking shit behind my back?”
His spine stiffened, his gaze cutting between me and Al, who was
hiding in a far corner with his laptop and a booklet of the latest tattoo
supplies.
He held up his hands. “No, but everyone knows you bang hookers.” A
nervous grin spread across his lips. “I take it you're not seeing a hooker
tonight.”
I titled my head to the side, sizing him up as he stared nervously. Al
didn’t even bother peering over in our direction, and that I was thankful for.
“Not a hooker. I’m meeting my daughter for the first time in over a
decade.” I winged a brow in his direction before dropping my gaze back to
my workstation.
“Damn. I’m shocked you’re not vomiting or something, man.”
“Did that this morning.”
A shit eating grin formed on the edge of my lips as I organized one of
my drawers. Truth was, the alcohol was the reason for me hurling my guts
this morning, but the dude was right. I was nervous as shit to see her. The
last text I sent her was a selfie, but she didn’t return the favor. I wondered if
she thought I was some sort of gross ogre, but she hadn’t texted to cancel
yet.
The guy folded his arms across his chest as he blankly stared at the
checkered title.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing, I mean, I don’t really have any pointers for that. I’m still
running from that responsibility at the moment.”
“Stop running and be a man, jackass,” Al yelled from across the shop.
Al broke out into a coughing fit before he could get another word out,
and I waited with bated breath, hoping he wouldn’t die. Once silence
cloaked the room again, the guy leaned in, curiosity on the tip of his tongue.
“How does she look?” he asked, and a smirk tore at the seams of his
mouth.
I didn’t know if it was his constant nagging, or his question, but it made
my veins hot. He was some new kid who started renting out a station a few
months back, but from what Al told me, he had a hard time keeping it in his
pants, and fucked anything that moved. Yet he looked down on hookers and
escorts, preferring to break girls’ hearts at every turn.
 “I don’t know how she looks now. I haven’t seen her in thirteen years.”
He looked in shock, as if I committed some sort of vile crime by not
knowing how my teenage daughter looked. It never even occurred to me to
ask her for a picture or even look her up. Maybe that was the denial
brewing in the back of my mind, secretly hoping she hadn’t changed one bit
since the last time I saw her. Which was at her mother’s funeral. I stood
behind the crowd, eyes glued to hers. I never forgot the piercing cry that
dripped off her lips when they lowered her mom into the ground, and I’ll
never forget, nor forgive Graham for letting her fall to her knees in defeat
instead of catching her when she needed it most.
The guy let out a ragged breath. “What’s her name?”
“Excuse me?”
“Let’s look her up. Don’t you want to know what she looks like?”
God, yes. “Not really. Plus, I don’t have social media or whatever you
kids use now days.”
“I do.” He retrieved his phone and tapped a blue icon.
I sliced my gaze to the floor, then to Al, peering over the tall cabinet
beside him. He gave a nod, and it just irritated me more.
“Fine, but,” I held up a finger, and gave him a stern stare. “She’s a
teenager, so don’t you dare try to contact her or—”
“I won’t. Trust me. I have enough issues. I don’t need Beau Black on
my ass, too.”
“Audrey,” I said with hesitation.
“Audrey….” His words trailed off.
I shook my head and turned back to my station. “She’s my daughter,
isn’t she?”
A few minutes passed and for a moment I thought we were out of luck,
but then he tapped me on the shoulder.
“I think I found her.” He reached over, his phone pinched between his
fingers.
I took it, and every ounce of regret I’d fought hard to keep bottled up
came spilling over. My reactions came in waves. The first one was shock.
Seeing her all grown up and I wondered where the years went. The second
reaction was anger. I hated myself for allowing her to grow up all alone,
without me by her side for the all the moments that mattered, and the third
reaction was shame. Because the moment my eyes locked on her gorgeous
face I felt something I had no business feeling.
 “Well?”
“Yeah, that’s her. Now delete her from your search history,” I said,
turning my chair back around.
“Damn she’s—”
“Delete her from your search history. Now.”
I didn’t get a look at the details on her profile, but her upcoming
birthday jumped out at me. It was a big one too. The alarm on my phone
buzzed, breaking me from my thoughts. Al said something in the
background, but my focus was on my keys and getting the hell out the door
before Al graced me with another one of his pep talks. I reminded the
young airhead to double check the back doors before locking up. My watch
read 8:45 p.m., and the purple rabbit was fifteen minutes away. Fuck. I
wasn’t ready for this.

Pulling into the driveway of The Purple Rabbit, I killed the engine on my
bike and hopped off. I scanned the lot, my eyes roaming over the various
darkened cars as I tried to pinpoint which one belonged to her. She didn’t
seem like the truck type, or the sports type. I checked the time on my watch,
9:00 p.m. on the dot. Sauntering inside the establishment, scents of seared
meats and buttery beer hit me in the face. My two favorite things to devour
after a long day. I locked eyes with the manager, gave a cordial nod and
took a seat at my favorite table. A leather bound booth that resembled a
couch nestled near the back of the pub. It was isolated, but stuck out just
enough that the waitresses didn’t pass you by.
I retrieved my phone, swiping my thumb in an upward motion on the
screen as I zoomed in on the messenger app. Nothing from Audrey yet, but
only a few minutes had passed.
“Hey stranger,” the waitress said as she set down a tall glass of water.
Four and half years earlier, I would have greeted her with a smile and a
wink, but that shipped had sailed, along with my respect for the woman
standing in front of me.
“Stranger I am. Thanks.” I grabbed the water and slid it to the other side
of the table, away from the edge.
 She folded her arms across her chest, irritation crawling across her face.
“No, hey, or how have you been? Damn. I didn’t think I was that bad of a
fuck.”
“Ha. It had nothing to do with that worn out cunt of yours and you
fucking know it. But if you want to rehash the details of how you fucked
another guy in our bed, go right ahead.”
My voice boomed overtop of the speakers, drawing the attention of
nearby customers. But the good thing about bars was attention never stayed
on you long. Most people just passed glances, and then returned to their
own conversations.
My words struck a nerve in her bobbleheaded brain and she scuffled
away with her face all screwed up, but I didn’t give a fuck. She was the one
that dragged the cat out of the bag. Now I regretted even coming here, but
my annoyance subsided when my phone dinged.
KITTEN
I’m here. I think.
BEAU
Is there a large lit up purple rabbit on the building?
KITTEN
Yea.
BEAU
Then you’re at the right place. I’m in the booth in the back.
Keep straight when you walk in.

Shit, just got real. Fucking real. I combed my hands down my face and
took a big sip of water. What the fuck was going on with me? Here I was,
nervous as shit, checking myself to make sure I didn’t have some sort of
sweat stain in the middle of my shirt. I pulled my arms through my jacket
and placed it on the back of the booth. Struggling to keep my shit together, I
locked my gaze on the entrance, and my heart stammered in my chest.
Audrey Black in the flesh. She stood out like a tender tulip in the sea of
roughnecks and bikers. Almost as if she didn’t belong—hell she didn’t
belong. A black velvet headband tamed the spirals of thick curls that
brushed past her shoulders, and her curves filled out the high-waisted
shorts. She spotted me, and I was certain her breath hitched in her throat.
Positive. A cloud of shyness took over her features as she stepped closer
and my God, the thoughts that ran through my head.
Her little Betty Boop chubby ankles looked too adorable in her white
Chuck Taylor low tops. She was the fucking cutest, and I hated myself even
more for ignoring her for as long as I had.
“Hey, uh..” Her words cut off as she sliced her gaze to the table in a fit
of nervousness.
“Beau,” I said, and revealed a lopsided grin to ease her nerves.
She slid inside the booth, pulling the strap of her purse above her head
at the same time. “Oh, ok. Hey, Beau.”
A smile brighter that the sun danced across her lips. Her coffee-colored
irises scanned the decor, taking in all the black and white photos on the
wall. I memorized every inch of her face in those small seconds. I wanted to
remember every detail, so I would never forget them. A new waitress set
down a tall beer in front of me with a large basket of chili cheese fries. My
ex must have taken my words to heart and got one of her friends to switch
tables with her. Thank fuck.
“You don’t have to call me Dad if you don’t want to. I haven’t exactly
filled the role.” I picked up my beer and held her gaze as I took a sip.
Her eyes drifted down to my arms, exploring the colorful lines of ink
that covered every inch of my skin. I sliced my gaze to her bare arms. The
skin looked soft, succulent, and reminded me of silk. I bet it was softer than
it looked.
Goosebumps erupted across her bare shoulders from the cool air above,
and a shiver ran down her spine. “I like Beau, that’s fine.” She picked up
the menu and opened it. “I didn’t really expect you to look like... like you
do.”
“No? Well, what do you think?” I asked, stretching my arms out to the
side. “The man, the myth?”
“Definitely a myth, but you're cool looking. Still a loser, but I’ll take
it.”
“You know, you’re the only one that can shoot daggers at me. Just so
you know.” I pinched a few cheesy fries between my fingers and shoved
them in my mouth. “Want some?”
She took interest, lowering the menu below her little button nose to eye
the messy concoction.
 “Sure, but first I need some cutlery.” She looked out for our waitress in
the sea of tables and booths scattered throughout the place.
I nearly choked on the fries. “Cutlery? It’s finger food,” I said, pointing
to the fries.
She looked at me as if I was speaking gibberish and eventually flagged
down a waitress. I guess I couldn’t be too surprised. She grew up with
wealthy people who probably didn’t dabble in cheap finger food often.
Once the waitress placed the napkin wrapped fork on the table, I
grabbed it and set it next to me. “You’re not using a fork for fries. Not with
me, you’re not.”
“But my fingers will get all gross.” She held up her pretty little
manicured fingers and pouted her lips.
She’s going to be the death of me. “That’s what napkins are for kitten.” I
pinched a few fries between my fingers and held them up. “Here, open.”
She hesitated, but then her perfect little pout opened, and I placed the
fries on her wet tongue. Before I could pull my fingers all the way out, she
clamped down around my pointer finger. A surge of electricity set my blood
on fire, and the apples of her cheeks ripened with embarrassment. I slid my
finger out gently, and let a soft chuckle bounce off my lips as she devoured
the gooey goodness.
“Sorry,” she mumbled. Her cheeks stuffed with fries.
“Don’t expect me to finger feed you every time we go out to eat.”
She did a little happy dance in her seat as she licked the corners of her
mouth and closed her eyes. Fuck, she really was adorable.
“So there’s going to be a next time?” she asked, reaching for my water.
“Maybe. Depends on how normal you are. What else do you use cutlery
for?”
She shrugged. “Everything mostly. But I have spent the last four years
taking etiquette classes, so…” She reached over and stuck her fingers into
the basket. “I must say though, these are—”
“I must say?” I repeated as a grin spread across my face.
Not only was she cute as fuck, but I was certain she was straighter than
a hot needle. I doubt she’d had her first kiss. She devoured a few more fries,
nearly finishing the basket before licking the leftover cheese off her
fingers.
I leaned in. “Look at you reverting to your cave woman ways.”
 She rolled her coffee color eyes and snatched a napkin from the
dispenser. “I can’t revert back to something I’ve never been,” she said,
jogging her brows up and down while sporting a wide smile.
“Don’t do that?” I said, scratching the edge of my beard.
“Do what?”
“That whole Evel Knievel thing with the smile. You look like Sid.”
“Whose Sid?”
“You’ve got to be shitting me right now. Have you not seen Toy Story?”
She racked her brain for a second. “Nope.”
I shook my head and took another swig of my beer. “What has your
mother done to you?”
The waitress returned, interrupting our conversation. I guessed Audrey’s
order before the words fell off her tongue and I was right. A cheeseburger,
curly fries and a shake. I relished in the small victory of knowing the type
of food she enjoyed without having to ask. I ordered my usual, a double
cheeseburger with a fried egg, seasoned fries, and an extra beer. The
waitress grabbed Audrey’s menu, then brought back her strawberry shake.
“Ya know, I guessed you were going to order a shake.”
A line appeared between Audrey’s brows as she digested my words. She
probably thought it was just a lucky guess, but there were over twelve
nonalcoholic drinks to choose from and my gut told me she wanted a
strawberry shake.
“A strawberry one?”
I reached for my beer. “Yup.”
“Lucky guess.” She wrapped her hands around the wide glass and
pressed her lips to the striped straw.
We held our gazes, which allowed me to catch the flicker of light that
shined behind her soft eyes. I didn’t know what it meant, but I sure as hell
was going to find out.
“I’m not really the lucky type. Maybe I just know you better than you
think.” I took another sip and swallowed.
“Stalker,” she protested.
Her outburst made a wave of unshed laughter erupt from my throat.
Damn, she was a fucking riot and fuck, did I love it.
“Is it really stalking though if you’re my daughter?” I winged a brow
and reached over to wipe away a trail of leftover shake dripping down her
chin.
 A beat of silence followed, and she watched my movements. Did I want
to lick my thumb while leaning over the table as I moaned in her ear? Yes,
but someone had to be the adult. I took a napkin and cleaned off my thumb.
“But the most important question of the night is, how the hell did you
find me?”
She squared her posture at the question and removed the straw from her
lips. “My best friend, Josi.” Pushing the shake away a smidge, she tucked a
lock of hair behind her ear. “Her dad owns a high-end private security firm.
He has access to people who can find information. I told her your name
and…” Her words faltered.
“And her dad found my number?”
“Yeah. Are you upset?” Her bottom lip became white beneath the
pressure of her teeth as she waited.
I savored the moment, folding my arms across my chest as I eyed her.
“No, but I guess that means you’re the stalker.” I leaned in, elbows on the
table. “And not me.”
Her forehead puckered, a curve of a smile spreading across her luscious
lips. Stop it! The waitress returned with our food and we devoured it. Our
conversation remained civil, and I could tell she was taking great care to
avoid the topic of why I ran out on her and her mom all those years ago.
I leaned so much about her in such a short time. I learned where she
went to school, the name of her best friend, some of the salacious secrets
she’s kept from Graham over the years, and the list.
“So this list. Tell me more.”
She swallowed down the last bite of her burger and took a sip of water.
“It’s my ‘before I turn eighteen’ list.”
The thought of her having a list piqued my interest, and I became more
invested than I wanted.
“What’s on it?”
“Stuff.” She gave a half shrug and swirled the straw around the bottom
of her shake glass.
“Let me see.”
“No,” she deadpanned.
“Come on. I promise I won’t judge.” I leaned into the table, circling the
top of my beer bottle with my finger. “Remember? I’m the loser.”
She succumbed to my lopsided grin and released a breath. “Fine, but if
you laugh, I’m taking it back.”
 “Deal.”
She opened her purse and pulled out a slim pink floral-decorated
notepad. Flipping the cover, she turned a few pages, and then stopped
before sliding it over. I would be a lie if I didn’t say how much joy I found
in reading kitten’s little list while she stared at me with fire in her eyes.

Audreys Before She Turns 18 List:

1. Drink a beer( preferably not in a gross red cup)
2. Say “yes” to something that scares me.
3. Kiss a guy.
4. See ‘it” in real life.
5. Get a tattoo( or maybe not)

I had to cover my mouth to prevent from bursting out in a loud laughter.

This had to be the most innocent thing I had ever seen. I memorized the list
and then sliced my eyes to meet her gaze.
“For starters, number one is illegal. Along with number five, and what
is it you want to see in real life?”
She snatched the list and shoved it back into her purse without saying a
word. I bit down on my bottom lip to contain myself, but once she placed
her elbows on the table and rested her cute little face between her palms, I
lost it.
“If you must know, I had a beer already. It was gross, and Josi has a
fake ID, so I can get a tattoo.” She folded her arms across her chest with
proudness and raised her chin.
I guffawed. “Well, fuck me, then. Get your criminal on, baby girl.”
“I’m not a criminal.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, kitten.” I winked.
The waitress set down the bill on the edge of the table while passing,
and I picked it up. Checking the time on my watch, it was thirty minutes
until midnight. I paid, pulled a twenty out of my pocket for a tip, and waited
for Audrey to exit the booth before I followed.
She took another sip of my water before getting up from the booth. I
kept my eyes straight ahead, looking out for the wicked bitch of the west to
come flying in with her shit once she got wind that I was leaving. One thing
about her, she always had to get the last word in. Audrey and I approached
the door, and she dug around in her purse to retrieve her phone. It didn’t
even occur to me to ask how she got here. Before I could get the words out
of my mouth, I saw her thumb through her apps and press on the ride share
app. No way in hell was she taking a ride share back home at 12:00 in the
morning.
“Leaving?” a mousy voice asked from behind.
I turned, annoyance clear as day on my face, and followed Audrey out
into the parking lot. Too focused on finding her ride, she didn’t notice that I
was standing behind her and bumped into me when she took a step back.
“Sorry,” she said as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.
I circled her until my boots were toe to toe with her Chuck Taylor’s.
“Young kitten like yourself taking a ride share this late at night? Do you
drive?”
“It’s not that late and I have my protection.” She held up a pink bottle of
mace.
“Oh yeah, baby, that’s gonna protect you real good.”
I could see it in her eyes, that spark of blaze that lit up before she went
off at the mouth. I liked it.
“Well, it’s been doing a pretty good job in your absence, if you must
know.”
She turned up her nose and looked me dead in the eye. If she wasn’t so
damn cute, I would have pointed out how short she was and drawn attention
to the way she raised herself up on her tippy toes just to stare at me
A strobe of lightning ripped across the ominous sky, followed by a roar
of thunder that made her jump. So cute.
“Here’s the deal. You’re not taking a ride share by yourself this late in
the evening. So you have two options. “You either come home with me or I
drop you off at a motel.”
“A motel?”
The asshole in me shinned through when my mouth tipped in a grin.
“Yup. It’s about to rain,” I said, pointing to the sky. “And I’m not
driving two hours to take you back home right now.
She huffed, pouting that pout of hers, and raised her chin to the sky. In a
wave of defeat, her shoulders slumped and without saying a word, she
agreed.
 5
AUDREY

T here weren’t that many things in my life that I regretted, but not
knowing how to drive was one of them. I put it off for so long
because Graham usually had a car waiting 99.9 percent of the time,
and ride shares were abundant wherever I went, but this was the first time I
found myself at a crossroads.
“Fine. Where’s your car?”
He held out his hand, and I grabbed it, following him through the shark-
infested parking lot. His height reminded me of a skyscraper, one where I
had to stretch my neck like a crane just to see the top. Each step he took left
a lingering trail of wood and spice that leeched into my lungs. His scent was
intoxicating, and it wasn’t like anything I smelled before. It had a hint of
danger, with notes of mystery dipped in bad boy. I closed my eyes and
breathed him in some more.
“You okay over there?” A dashing smile peeked from behind his lips.
His words broke me out of my haze, and he swung a long muscular leg
over his bike. My words caught in my throat, and I sliced my eyes between
the impossibly hot human who was my dad straddling the beast between his
legs, and the matte black beast itself.
I stepped closer, trying my hardest to hide my nervousness. “Yeah, I’m
good,” I said with a straight face.
I didn’t know what was worse, that my dad was hot, or that he could see
right through me, no matter how steady I held my shield. The man hadn’t
been part of my life in years, and yet he crumbled every ounce of
composure I had. The sticky summer breeze swept past us, blowing his
coco-colored locks out of his face to expose that chiseled jaw of his.
Reaching behind him, he pulled loose a shiny, heavy looking helmet and
held it out.
I took it and sliced my gaze back to him. “Don’t you need this?”
“No. I don’t live too far. We’ll be fine, but we should get going before
we’re soaked to the skin.”
The roar of his bike made me jump, and the gruffness of his deep laugh
had me wobbling over to the back seat. Finding my balance, I swung one
leg over and a small eek pushed passed my lips as his hand grabbed onto
my thigh.
“Helmet, kitten.”
He waited, and I shoved the heavy like bowling ball of a thing down
onto my head. It smelled like him. Once it was secured, I placed my hands
on his shoulders, and he gently removed them. Lowering them down to his
waist, he made sure my body was secure against his as he pulled my arms
around him. I didn’t want to admit it, but this was the closest I’ve ever been
to a guy and the fact that it was my dad made me swallow down the lump
forming in my throat.
In a blink of an eye, we were off, and zooming down the street. It was
surreal. A rush of electricity powered through me as we rode into the night.
He said something, but I didn’t catch it because of the sound of the bike
blasting in my eardrums. Although I lived only two hours away from
Chicago, I only made it down to the big city, except for twice a year.
Graham always hosted his company’s big holiday party at one of the five-
star hotels in the city, and Josi would drag me to one of the scary haunted
houses in October. Other than those two events, I never had a reason to
come down. As we made our way across a large metal bridge, I caught sight
of the Chicago loop where rows of lit glass buildings glowed from miles
away. It really was a wonderful sight.
Beau turned off the bridge and then slowed as he headed down a dark
alley. Two brick buildings sat on either side of the paved alley and he pulled
up to a metal door. I pulled off the heavy helmet when he killed the engine
and jumped again when a strike of thunder ripped through the sky. Not
realizing the pipes of the bike were hotter than literal hell, I squeezed my
legs, which made me yelp once more as the heat kissed my skin.
“Uh oh.”
“Ouch,” I cried.
 Before I could get my bearings, he shoved his hands up under my
armpits and lifted me off the bike carefully. My arms wrapped around his
neck automatically and he set me down on the pavement. I don’t know why,
but as he tinkered with the helmet and locked up the leather satchel on our
side, I refused to let go and he didn’t bother to make me, either. As I held
the strap of my purse, he took my hand and lead me inside.
From the outside, the building didn’t look that great, but once we made
it through two sets of doors and into the main lobby, my eyes settled on the
decor. I never asked my mom about Beau, and conversations about him
usually came up when she came across something that reminded her of him.
The memory was always negative. Besides going off on rants about how
shit of a person he was, his personal life always remained a mystery to me.
Moving across the soft carpet, we stopped at the row of golden
mailboxes and he retrieved his keys. A stack of papers with daily deals
curled around a few pieces of white envelopes, at which he took a quick
scan before tossing the newspaper in the trash.
“This is nice.” A hint of optimism coated my words as I stopped by his
side.
He bumped his fist into the elevator button and leaned into the wall.
“Are you saying that just to be nice?” He folded his arms across his chest
and his lips tipped into a grin. “Nice is code for shit. Don’t you know?”
“What? It’s not. It is nice,” I said, looking around.
It wasn’t until the elevator dinged, I realized how big it was, and old. I
followed him inside, stepping in with caution. Scuffs sprinkled the floor,
and blue foam padded the walls.
“It’s a freight elevator. That’s why it’s…” His words trailed off as he
stared past me before pressing the number four button.
I had more questions, but I swallowed them down. I imagined he lived
in an old firehouse or something of the sort. I could only remember being in
three types of building my entire life. Mansions, Penthouses, and hotel
suites. Besides the dingy dorms of my catholic school, other forms of
housing arrangements were unknown to me.
The elevator door peeled back, and we stepped into a quiet hallway. The
floor was no longer padded with soft carpet, but replaced with some sort of
stone. Shoving the key into the lock, he paused before turning it.
“If you see something, you’re not supposed to just turn and look the
other way. K?”
 I shifted, tilting my head to the side as I rolled my eyes. He waggled his
brows up and down and pushed open the door. He entered, leaving the door
wide open for me to follow in after him. I peeked my head around the door
frame and peered inside. I didn’t know what I expected to find, but a neatly
organized space with leather furniture spread out throughout wasn’t what
came to mind. I inched farther inside until I crossed the divide that
separated the hallway from his apartment.
“Shut the door behind you,” he yelled from another part of the
apartment.
“Ok,” I shot back.
The steel door slammed shut, and my eyes scanned the space. A large
flat-screen TV set above what looked like a fake fireplace with a large
brown candle sitting on top. My eyes trailed down, taking in the wooden
coffee table with a stack of books. I chuckled, remembering that little detail
about how my mom hid things in books since Beau never read. Itching to
take in more of the decor, my bladder reminded me I had a shake and an
entire glass of water not too long ago. I tiptoed through the space in search
of a bathroom, hoping to remain inconspicuous, but the wooden floor gave
my presence away.
“Spying?” he asked, his back to me.
“No.” I straightened my spine and clutched the strap of my purse. “Do
you have a restroom?”
He slowly raised two fingers and motioned me toward him. It wasn’t
sexy, but my eyes focused on his large, veiny hands longer than I cared to
admit. I trailed behind him, and he lead me right into his bedroom. It
seemed as if his scent intensified tenfold the moment I walked inside.
“It’s in the corner.” He brushed past me and then halted in his tracks. “I
got something for you. Hold on.”
“For me?” The words left my lips before I could stop them.
“Yeah. Al dropped something off.”
Al? Who’s Al? Crossing one leg over the other, I stood in the middle of
my dad’s bedroom, forcing myself not to look at the crumpled sheets of the
bed, and the pile of clean boxers sitting on the edge of his dresser. My
curiosity got the best of me, like it normally did, and my feet moved toward
the nightstand on the left side of his bed. A small silver frame sat near the
back. I reached over the hodgepodge of items and picked it up. My gaze
locked on a big-headed drooling baby.
 “I see you found an old gem.”
I twisted and shoved the picture behind my back as if I hadn’t already
been caught. “Why do you still have this?”
My words took him by surprise, and he raised a brow as he sauntered
over.
“Because it’s the best memory I had of you and I didn’t want to lose it.”
He stalked closer. “I also kept it because I took this photo the day I gave
you your nickname.” He touched my hand and slid the frame from my
grasp.
“What nickname?” I asked, brushing past him.
A low chuckle fell from his lips. “Baby Bernie. You know, like the dog.
All drool and no bite.”
“Ha. Ha. Very funny.” I grabbed the handles of the plastic bag sitting on
his bed and looked inside. Inside I found a disposable toothbrush, some
toothpaste, body wash, vanilla scented lotion, and a pair of fuzzy socks.
“I don’t have any girlie products here, so Al dropped this off while we
were at dinner. Just in case I needed it for you.”
A bout of nervousness sprawled across his face, and he ran a hand
through his long hair as he bit on his bottom lip.
“Who’s Al?”
“A good friend. He’s kinda like a father figure to me and…” He cut his
sentence short, his gaze now on the carpet.
In this moment, I wondered if he really was as bad as my mom said he
was. He seemed responsible now and his home was nowhere near a
shithole. If worn leather furniture, and a large king-size bed with crumpled
clean sheets was a shithole, I wondered what could be worse than this. Our
gazes lingered for a few seconds, then my reflexes had me snatching the
bag off the bed and running into his bathroom.
A soft knock sounded at the door and I dropped the bag.
“Yes?”
“There’s an oversized t-shirt and clean towels on the ledge of the sink
for you,” he said.
“Okay, thanks.”
“Audrey?”
I swallowed. “Yes?”
A beat of silence passed, and I heard the very audible inhale he took
through his nose. “Are you okay?”
 Twisting the ends of my hair around my finger like a madwoman, I
nodded, and then slapped my forehead once I realized he couldn’t see me.
“Yes. I’m fine. I’ll be right out.” I picked up the bag and set it on the
sink.
“Take your time, kitten. We got all night.”
All night? I dumped the contents of the plastic bag onto the counter and
reached over to the turn on the shower. As I looked around his bathroom I
stepped out my shoes and peeled off my top. Careful to not further chafe
my inner thighs I let my shorts float to the floor. A nice cool shower would
do me good, and hopefully clear my thoughts because I had a long night
ahead of me.
 6
BEAU

I didn’t mean to say those words, because I knew they hurt her, coming
out of my mouth. Here I was, a grown fucking man telling my daughter
that I ran away from her and found an old man to be my father figure
while she navigated the world without one. A lump formed in my throat as I
watched her scurry away into the bathroom and close the door.
I stilled my movements, listening for breaks in her breathing, the first
barrier that’s shattered before the tears start to flood in.
I felt like a creep, standing outside the bathroom door as I listened for
movement. I eventually knocked and asked if she was okay. A small wave
of relief washed over me when her voice sounded normal and no tears were
evident. It was enough for me to walk away, but I didn’t. I stayed, one palm
pressed to the door, while the other one rested on the doorknob. Would I be
crazy to barge in if I knew she was breaking down on me? Maybe or maybe
not. I had little faith in myself when it came to Audrey. I’ve let her go for so
long that it would take a miracle for any fatherly instincts to kick in. Once
the water from the shower started, I backed away, because if she were to
cleanse her soul, I wouldn’t be able to hear it over the rush of the water,
anyway.
I found myself torn, contemplating the sleeping situation as she
showered. The way she lived was no surprise to me, and if she told me she
slept on a mattress made of gold and marshmallows, I would believe her. I
had a big bed, but the mattress was basic, along with the sheets. I slept little
these days. If anything, I lay awake staring at the fucking ceiling until the
alarm went off. My nightly ritual. Go to bed, just to stay awake. I opened
the closet and grabbed two large blankets and a pillow. I tossed the items on
the couch, and removed the leftover trash wedged between the cushions.
My loft wasn’t dirty, but fuck, it wasn’t spotless either. I didn’t have
many visitors, outside of my brother and Al. The last woman to step foot
inside my loft was the bitch that fucked another man in my bed. An empty
beer can rolled out from under the couch when I moved it and I chucked it
in the trash. Maybe there was more trash than I realized.
I did another sweep of the couch and submerged my hands between the
cushions. I was well aware that Audrey’s mom talked shit about me, but I
wanted her to know I wasn’t a slob. Just a little disorganized. I scraped a
match to the striker igniting a bright flame and lit the candle.The bathroom
door opened and I gave myself a virtual pat on the back for shoving shit out
of sight in a timely manner.
“Beau?” Her small voice echoed from the hallway.
“In here.”
With my eyes still focused on the candle, she approached, but I wasn’t
expecting the wind to be knocked the fuck out of me when I turned around.
She was short as fuck, but adorable, to say the least. My oversized shirt
drowned her, with the hem stopping at her knees. A pair of pink fluffy
socks covered her feet, and I shook my head as I thought about Al. She
fidgeted with a few looses strands of hair that escaped the towel wrapped
around her head and looked around. She smelled like a damn candy store. A
fruity concoction of strawberry, vanilla and other scents I couldn’t make
out.
“Is this where I’m going to sleep?” She rounded the couch.
I walked around her. “If you want. My bed looks nice, but it hurts the
fuck out of my back sometimes.”
“I think you need a new bed, then.” She flopped down on the couch and
tossed a blanket over her lap.
Her candy scent intensified once she removed the towel from her damp
tresses. Looking at her now, there was no question if she was my girl. We
had the same nose, her mouth tipped up in the same way as mine when a
smile was on the verge of breaking through, and her hair formed the same
ringlets as mine when freshly washed. But even with all the similarities, she
was so different. The way her eyes flickered with curiosity or when
something new crossed her path.
“Beau?”
 Fuck, she caught me zoning out. I turned my back and headed toward
the kitchen. “Are you tired?” I asked.
“Not really. Why?”
I opened a cabinet and tossed a bag of popcorn in the microwave.
“Because there’s something important I need you to watch.”
Her spine straightened, her eyes wide with curiosity. I loved the way she
perked up like that. There was so much she hadn’t experienced yet and it
was the cutest fucking thing.
She ran her little pink-painted nails through her hair as she folded her
legs into a pretzel and braided her hair. I tried not to watch, but keeping my
eyes off her was hard. Between the candied scents tangled around my lungs,
and her never-ending innocent gestures, it was a losing battle.
The microwave beeped, forcing me to look away. I dumped the hot
kernels into a bowl before heading back into the living room.
“What are we watching?”
I dimmed the lights a bit and plopped down on the couch next to her.
Ignoring her request, I thumbed the remote control, hovering over the
search bar until the keypad appeared on the screen. She paid no attention at
first, and her eyes focused on other parts of the loft as she wrapped a hair tie
around the end of her braid, but I caught the slouch in her shoulders when
the title appeared on the screen and I fought back a grin.
“Really?” She groaned, and tilted her head to the side.
“Oh yeah baby. This is it right here. Best movie ever.”
“I highly doubt Toy Story is the best movie ever, but whatevs.”
I bursted into laughter, and settled into the couch next to her. “I think
that’s the first piece of slang I heard you say since I met you.”
She grumbled, and pulled the blanket up to her little cute nose. I took
that opportunity to bring her closer into my grasp, and released the foot rest.
She tensed a little, and turned her head in my direction. I didn’t look, and
instead kept my eyes on the screen. Her tense posture didn’t last and she
unfolded her legs before melting into my side.
When I agreed to meet her two days ago I had no idea what our meeting
would be like, but I sure as fuck didn’t expect this. Al told me to keep my
expectations low, and I was prepared for the night to end with regret and
more misery. I was prepared to never see my daughter again. Al knew I
battled the bad decisions I made over the course of my life, and although
time had put distance between the knife and the wound, there was no
denying the scar that was left behind. Leaving her when she was at her most
vulnerable left a scar on my heart, and now that I had her back in my life, I
wasn’t so sure I wanted to let her go again.
A sneeze erupted from her nose, and I placed the other blanket over her.
She readjusted, struggling with the plush fabrics to get them in some sort of
neat fashion and then melted back into my side. Only this time, her arm
found a restful spot on my chest.
“Cold?” I asked lowering my lips to the crown of her head.
“Not really. The blankets are warm.”
It was eighty degrees outside, and sixty-five degrees in my loft. I always
ran hot, and preferred an icebox. Al hated it, and bitched most of the time
because I kept the shop at sixty degrees during the summer months. I
looked back down at Audrey, her eyes focused on the colorful characters
sprawled across the screen. She chewed on her bottom lip as she watched
with intrigue, and I found my gaze locked on hers for much longer than I
intended. I studied her, taking notes of her facial expressions as the toys
came to life on the screen.
“Where’s Sid?” Her big brown eyes peered up at me as she placed her
chin onto my shoulder.
I took a sip of water, and swallowed. “He comes in later. Keep
watching.”
She returned her gaze back to the screen, but her hand stayed planted on
my chest. Her fingers aimlessly pinched and pulled the fabric, and I
couldn’t fight the feeling at how perfect this all seemed. I wasn’t aching to
get up and pour myself a stiff drink, and I sure as hell wasn’t itching to
scroll through my phone to find a noncommittal fuck for the night. None of
those things crossed my mind as I laid back on the couch with a bowl of
popcorn on one side and my Audrey on the other.
Was this what I’ve been running from my entire life?
Time escaped us and I opened my eyes to a blank screen with Audrey
snuggled up next to me. She was fast asleep, her head in my lap, with the
blankets wrapped around her like a cocoon. I dared not move and disturb
the sleeping beauty. I switched off the TV with the remote, reclined the sofa
and shut my eyes.
Rays of sunlight peered through the windows, highlighting the warm colors
of Audrey’s hair. She slept peacefully on the couch, still wrapped in her
blankets. I didn’t want to wake her, but I got a call about a drop, and I
needed to get her home before handling that business. I folded her clothes
and set them on the coffee table in front of the couch. I washed them when I
woke up this morning. Although she was headed straight home, I doubt she
wanted to put on yesterday’s sweaty clothes. My shitty coffee machine
screeched as it came to life and a whimper dripped off her lips.
Fuck, she was a cutie. Pouring the blackened liquid energy into a mug, I
eyed her movements. She stretched, then yawned before escaping back
under the covers.
“Hey. Why did—” She started and then stopped.
I raised a brow and lowered my gaze as I waited for her to respond. Her
eyes scanned my exposed tatted chest, and when our gazes connected, she
shot her eyes to the ceiling. She didn’t like the fact that I pulled the covers
off her, exposing her bare legs to the icebox air seeping through the vents. I
sliced my gaze to the top of her head, eyeing the wild mane of curls as a
grin spread across my lips. I picked up her clean clothes and hovered them
in front of her face.
She plopped the pillow over her face. “I don’t wanna.”
“But you gotta. So get up and get dressed.”
She groaned as she uncurled her body, and rose to her feet at a sloth like
pace. “I’m hungry. Feed me.”
I nearly choked on my coffee as a desperate expression etched its way
into her features. I took another sip and turned to face the sink so her puppy
eyes wouldn’t have anymore bearing on my heart. Her heavy footsteps
clomped away in the bathroom's direction, and I shook my head before
finishing my coffee.
Two hours later, we were walking out of my loft and waiting for the
elevator. Audrey continued to whine about her stomach, and although I tried
to ignore it, deep down I didn’t mind spending an extra hour with her. The
elevator doors peeled back, and we stepped inside. Her phone vibrated, and
she pulled it out of her back pocket. I leaned in, eager to see who she was
texting. She caught my whiff and held her phone close to her chest as she
whirled around.
“Weirdo.” She whipped her head back around and stared at her phone.
“Did you know you, you snored?” Her eyes remained glued to her phone as
she typed away on the screen.
I leaned in until my lips brushed the side of her soft cheek. “I’ve been
told, but you’ll never guess what you do in your sleep...”
 7
AUDREY

“W hat?” I blurted out as I followed him out of the elevator.

He kept his features stoic as he strode toward the door and
the only thing I could think about was what he just said. What
did he mean?
“Please answer me. I need to know if I do weird things or not.”
The robust chuckle that erupted from his throat made my stomach drop,
and I went into a frenzy. I froze, and the distance between us increased. He
turned around once he reached the door, and winked before pushing it
open.
“Let’s go, kitten.” He called from the doorway.
I slogged forward, folding my arms across my chest like an ungrateful
brat as I followed his voice. The summer air slapped me in the face once I
stepped out the door. It wouldn’t take long before I was sweating like a
sticky aloe vera plant. Something that was inevitable, and not even the devil
himself could stop the humidity from turning my hairdo into a frizzy, hot
mess. I stood over a large vent that blew cool air right up my legs. It was
perfect, because not only did it keep me cool, but it was the perfect place to
stand and watch Beau get his bike ready.
A small part of me wished my mom was still alive so I could tell her
about him. The only memories she had of him were the bad ones, the ones
where she remembered him leaving in the middle of the night like a thief to
never return. My mom was a lot of things, but forgiveness wasn’t a strong
suit of hers and she reminded me every day.
“Keeping cool over there, kitten?”
 He passed me a glance, and then swung one leg over and settled onto
the seat. As the sun beat down on us with no remorse, I continued to check
him out. Today, he opted for a soft V-neck fabric shirt that showed off every
colorful inch of tattoos covering his upper body. Why was he so hot? Why
did I think he was so hot?
“Barely,” I said dryly.
Josi texted me nonstop last night while I was in the bathroom taking my
shower. She wanted to know everything, and I promised her I would tell
her, but later. She broke out into a fit, like she always did when anyone
made her wait. Beau dipped his head, and his long thick tresses fell in front
of his face, and that’s when I took the opportunity. Pulling out my phone in
a quick motion, I swiped to the camera app and snapped a photo.
I fixated on it, a little too long because he asked me what the hell I was
staring at. Knocking myself out of my fog, I sauntered over toward the bike
and took the small helmet out of his hand. It was black and looked used. I
saw him grab it out of a closet before we walked out of his apartment.
“Nothing. Just a text,” I said, before shoving the thing down on my
head.
“Liar. Let’s get some food in your belly to calm down that little grinch
hiding in your stomach.”
“I’m not grouchy,” I protested.
I swung my leg over and he grabbed on to my thighs, pulling me closer
to him. Even through his helmet, I caught a whiff of his scent and it smelled
wonderful. He smelled wonderful.
“Super grouchy.” He teased.
Once he made sure I was snuggly fit with my arms wrapped around
him, he started the engine. We rode through the city, and I sucked in the
sights that I missed on the ride back to his place last night. I never saw
much of the city besides the main area, and it was fascinating to see the old
buildings and shops wedged between washed up brick buildings.
There were no fancy skyscrapers and lines of designer-emblem cars
where we were. Graham had a name for folks like Beau—the common folk.
I locked my gaze on a mom in a minivan when we came to a stoplight.
Unaware that I was being a creeper, I wondered what it would be like to
have grown up without wealth, and without loneliness. The bike jerked and
Beau slowed before turning into what looked like the parking lot of a
breakfast diner.
 A yellow neon sign that read The Broken Yolk hung above the door and
the bell chimed when Beau pressed the door open with his hip. A canopy of
noises battered my eardrums when I entered. Loud chatter, mixed with the
clatter of cutlery and plates filled the space. Women in yellow smocks
scurried from one end of the diner to the next while balancing trays of food
above their head. Beau grabbed my hand and pulled me toward a table in
the middle of the floor.
I dug in my purse, and retrieved my fidget, my little device that helped
any time I was in an unfamiliar setting or a place with lots of people. Why
didn’t I take my anxiety pill today?
“This seems interesting,” I said, eyeing the waitresses play tipsy tops
with trays and pitchers of water.
When I slid by eyes back to Beau our gazes locked, and a swarm of
butterflies released in my core. Why did he make me feel like I was falling
all the time?
“Too low class for you?” He picked up the menu and flipped it open, all
the while keeping his gaze on mine.
I squirmed in my seat, the cool air making goosebumps break out over
my skin. “No. It’s just interesting to me,” I said picking up the other menu.
I hated to admit it, but these types of establishments seemed to escape
my day-to-day life. Graham was rich, so I woke to elaborate breakfast
spreads on pretty plates. Even during my time at boarding school, it was all
the same. Pretty plates, large spreads, and dull conversation. That was my
normal.
Although Josi was more down to earth than I, her parents were just as
rich and strict. To break the mold of her confined life, she secretly did
things that would give them a heart attack when we were away. Her idea of
fun was sneaking out in the middle of the night and using the front door to
come home at the crack of dawn.
“Welcome to The Broken Yolk. What can I get started for you?” the
waitress asked.
She traded a glance between the two of us, her gaze settling on the ink
etched into Beau’s muscular arm.
“Coffee, black with sugar, a strawberry fruit smoothie, and an order of
hushpuppies.” Beau looked at me, then at the menu in my hands. “We need
a few more minutes with the menu.”
 She nodded and told us she would be back with his coffee, my shake
and his puppy things.
“What are puppy things?” I asked, keeping my eyes on the shiny plastic.
“Puppies you eat for breakfast.” He brought the cup of water to his lips
and raised a brow.
“Ha.Ha.”
He folded his muscular arms across his chest and leaned into the chair.
“Please, for the love of God, kitten, tell me you’re just shitting me.”
I gave a half shrug and Googled. “They sound good.”
He flicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth and shook his head in
disbelief that I was clueless to the deep-fried corn ball. The waitress
returned, coffee in one hand and my smoothie in the other. We sat in silence
for a few beats, and I looked around. Gosh, why did I have to be this way? I
opened the zipper to my purse and stuck my hand inside, playing with the
trusty fidget.
Beau looked me over, the lip of the coffee cup floating in front of his
face. He studied me, and I wondered what he was thinking. He already had
my mind going into overdrive because he wouldn’t tell me what I did in my
sleep. Trying hard not to press the issue made my head want to explode. A
million and twenty reasons floated around, but if I wanted to have some sort
of normal appearance, I had to let it go.
I couldn’t blame him for not understanding. He’d never been around.
My fingers brushed the fidget and my little container of pills slipped under
the pads of my fingers. I haven’t taken my medicine in two days, and the
thought of pulling out my pill bottle in front of a man who already thought I
was weird just made everything a little more hectic.
“All ready to order?” the waitress asked.
My brain did it again, and instead of scanning the menu like I was
supposed to, I let my mind wonder. I opened and closed my mouth like a
fish and then looked at the menu once more.
Before I could get a word out, she let us know the diner had a pancake
eating contest if we wanted to take part.
“A what?” I blurted out.
“Sure, we’ll do that. You like blueberry pancakes, kitten?”
“Uh, um…. I guess. But wait how many—”
“Bring us a stack of blueberry and regular pancakes, some bacon, and
an extra smoothie.” Beau said, cutting me off.
 The waitress looked between us, her thoughts probably just as wild as
mind, and took our menus before scurrying off.
“Who are we competing against?” I asked, my words dipped in worry as
I peeled off the backing underneath the table in clumps.
He didn’t say anything at first, and a cunning smile spread across his
lips. “Me.”
I perked up. “Oh. Well then, it’s not a real competition.”
His hazel eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, and he scratched the edge of
his beard. “Well, get ready to lose, baby.”
“I’ve never lost a competition, and I don’t plan on losing now,” I
chastened.
“Then I guess this will be your first.”
He tipped his head back, finishing the cup of coffee, and slid it toward
the edge of the table. “Are you hungry?”
“Yes. Duh.”
His deep baritone chuckle sent my stomach into a frenzy once again.
My phone vibrated, saving me from his intoxicating nerve ending gaze.
JOSI BEAR
Hot damn! This one is even better than the selfie he sent you
a few days ago.
AUDREY
Ew! He’s my dad
JOSI BEAR
Newsflash! That’s not a dad. That’s a DADDY!
AUDREY
Facepalm
JOSI BEAR
LOL!

Beau moved some items out of the way on the table and twisted his rock
hard torso from side to side.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Getting ready to win.”
He removed the fork and knife from the wrap and gripped them by the
stems.
 “Here ya go. Two fluffy stacks of twelve pancakes and a large jar of
syrup,” the waitress said as she set down the hot plates.
She refilled Beau’s coffee and let us the know the bacon would be out
shortly before setting down a small orange box with a blinking timer on it.
“It’s twelve pancakes and you get fifteen minutes to eat. Enjoy.”
Beau wasted no time and grabbed the pitcher of hot syrup. A steady,
thick uninterrupted stream ran down on to his stack and spilled over to the
edge of his plate. As he licked his bottom lip, a moan deeper from than
depths of hell vibrated off his chest, and it was hot. So hot.
“Wow. Look at my dad returning to his caveman ways.”
He leaned in, locking his gaze with mine. “Who said I ever stopped?”
I silently whimpered and withdrew my hand from my purse. Picking up
the silverware, I swallowed and eyed the stack of pancakes in front of my
face.
“Ready?” he asked.
I was certain the look of defeat on my face made this entire experience
even more enjoyable for him. The timer started, and I barely got three
pancakes down before I realized he was already on his sixth one.
“You’re cheating,” I cried.
He poked his fork through three more pancakes. “Strategy baby.”
His eyes sparked with a hint of mischief as he finished the last of his
pancakes. He cleaned his plate five minutes shy of when the buzzer was set
to go off. Gliding his tongue across the fork, he set it down and wiped the
corners of his mouth with a napkin. I looked down at my soggy pancakes
and shoved another one in my mouth.
The waitress came bobbing back with a fresh plate of bacon and traded
it with Beau’s empty plate.
“You have room?” My words came out louder than expected, and I
flinched.
“I’m 6’3’ and weigh two hundred and twenty pounds, kitten. I always
have room.”
I repeated his weight in my head, focusing on the number while staring
down at my thunder thighs. He weighed two hundred and twenty pounds,
and I weighed two hundred. The only difference was he had walls of muscle
making him heavy compared to my oven rack of jelly rolls. As I pushed the
plate of pancakes away the corners of his eyes creased with concern.
“What’s the matter, baby?”
 I gave a faux smile and lied. It was easier. He wanted to say something
else, but his phone dinged. His features hardened, and he typed out a
message. Another ding followed, and this one had him pinching the bridge
of his nose. He let out a breath and raised his hand to flag down our
waitress. Edging closer to ask him what was wrong, I yelped as the sound
of the timer went off, gathering the attention of the nearby tables. Beau
didn’t notice, and if he did, he ignored it as he pulled a card from his wallet.
I slammed my hand on the timer until the thing stopped blaring.
“Let’s go. We have to make a stop before I drop you off.”
He stood and walked toward the front. Rushing behind him, I waited for
him to pay and followed him out of the door.

Twenty minutes later, we arrived in some sketchy looking neighborhood,

and Beau parked his bike in an alley. A group of men who looked like they
belonged on America’s Most Wanted stilled their conversations and turned
to stare at us.
“Come on.”
We walked through the alley and halted at a large, rustic steel door. My
stomach dropped, and I took a step back.
“I can stay out here,” I said and squeezed my hands together.
He whipped around and gave me a once-over, then studied the men in
the distance.
“Yeah, absolutely not.” Walking back over to his bike he opened the
side satchel and unfolded a jean jacket. “Put this on and stay close to me.
Don’t speak and keep your eyes down. Okay?”
“Why? What’s in there? Why do I have to keep my head—”
“Audrey, stop. Please. Just do what I ask.”
I shrank back and slid my arms through the jacket’s sleeve. He leaned in
without saying a word and pulled the two flaps closer together. I grabbed
them before he let go and pushed a few buttons through the holes. The large
door scraped against the pavement and we entered. It smelled of stale air
and smoke.
My vision struggled to adjust to the darkness, but Beau knew exactly
where he was going. Clenching his hand tightly, I followed close behind
and a strobe of dim lights appeared when we turned the corner. A strip
club? Keeping my promise, I kept my eyes to the floor, but couldn’t help
but take a peek at the large round stage in front of me, and the two women
twirling around on the poles as two men in black suites watched with
amusement.
We approached another door. This one was black and had a golden
doorknob. A man who looked like he beat people up for a living opened the
door.
“Don’t say a word,” Beau whispered.
His look caused a shiver to run down my spine, and my brain went into
overdrive. I didn’t like being in uncomfortable situations. I could hardly
handle being comfortable in situations that were familiar. He approached a
man sitting behind a large wooden desk, leaving me standing in the middle
of the room. I stood out like a sore thumb among the four of us. The man
behind the desk took me in, a ring of smoke covering his gestures as he
sucked on it.
Beau reassured him I was nobody, and they didn’t need to worry about
me. They exchanged words, a conversation I probably didn’t need to hear. I
sliced my eyes to the plush carpet below me and counted backward from
one hundred. Anything to help me keep my eyes from drifting. I was doing
it. I was acting normal, though it took every ounce of willpower in my body
to hold this state. Then it all came crashing down as I saw packets filled
with a white substance sliding across the desk.
“Are those drugs? Why are—” I clasped my hands over my mouth but
the verbal diarrhea was already out.
Beau’s gazed darkened, and I took a step back, almost tripping over my
own two feet.
“Who is she?” the man behind the desk asked.
Beau's shoulders dropped, and he let out a ragged breath. “My daughter,
but she won’t be a problem. I’ll get this dropped off soon.”
He grabbed the packets of drugs, along with an envelope, and placed
them inside a small leather pouch and dragged me through the door. I
squinted when the large steel door opened as we stepped outside. Beau
yanked me toward his bike and then dropped my hand.
“I told you not to say a word.”
“I’m sorry. I just…it slipped out and—”
“That could have ended badly, Audrey.”
 “Then why did you even bring me inside? I told you I could have just
stayed—”
“Because saying no to these types of people isn’t easy, and there was no
fucking way I was going to leave you standing out here alone.” He shoved
the small helmet into my arms and swung one leg over his bike. “Why are
you…”
His words evaporated, but he didn’t need to finish the sentence. I knew
exactly what he was going to say.
“Get on. I need to get you home before that piece of shit stepdad of
yours puts a search warrant out for you.”
“He doesn’t care that much,” I mumbled, and pressed the helmet down
on to my head.
The ride home was uneventful, and the only thoughts running through
my mind were if I messed up so badly that he wouldn’t want to see me
again. We finally arrived two hours later. He slowed and turned down the
long driveway. A gate waited for us at the end of the driveway and I hopped
off the back to press in the code. I sliced my gaze to Beau, but the shield of
the helmet hid his face. He revved the engine a few times as he waited for
me to climb back on, then zoomed up the driveway. As I struggled to climb
off, the door opened and Beau killed the engine.
Standing in the doorway was Graham. My stepdad. Like clockwork, he
had a pinched expression on his face, as if whatever he was staring at was
causing him great grief. Beau removed his helmet, his hair falling down
around his face like a waterfall. He ran a hand through it and then turned his
attention to Graham. A dull silence fell between the three of us like a thick
fog, and I stood with Beau’s helmet in one hand and my purse in the other
as I waited for someone other than me to open their mouth.
Graham inched forward, his hands hidden inside the pockets of his
pressed trousers. My stomach shrank as he descended the steps and stopped
a few feet away from Beau. He always made sure to let people know he was
better than the average person. He had a pessimistic attitude, and wore his
designer three-thousand-dollar suits like a badge of honor.
“Um, this is—”
“No need for introductions. I know who he is,” Graham said, holding up
a hand.
Sometimes I forgot how tall Graham was, and also how built. I never
paid much attention to him because he was always gone, away on business
or meeting with the family. His family. The fact he was even here at this
exact moment took me by surprise. Out of all the days, he could be home. It
had to be today.
“Still an asshole, I see. Comforting.” Beau said.
“How so?”
Beau shrugged. “Oh, ya know. If you were a changed man, I would
have reason to worry. But happy to know you're still walking around with a
stick up your ass and a chip on your shoulder.”
Graham guffawed and folded his arms across his chest. A small tick
formed in his jaw as he glared at Beau and I wondered where the hostility
came from.
“Right.” Graham rolled his eyes. “You’re about seventeen years too
late,” he said as he shifted his gaze between Beau and I.
Beau straightened, nodding as he bit down on his bottom lip. I placed
the helmet on the seat. Both of them eyed my movements, and with shaky
hands I secured it in place.
“When you're done with the trash, come into my office. We need to
talk.” Graham said and turned on his heels.
He passed one more glance over his shoulder as he watched me step
closer to Beau, and then he disappeared into the house.
“Sorry…” I said, twirling a curl around my finger.
Even with the major fuck up from earlier still lingering between us,
Beau softened his features as he looked me over. As if he were solving a
puzzle, he shifted his gaze to the house, and then to me a few times. I’d
always been good at reading people. I had to be in order to survive, and
there was no doubt in my mind that Beau was guilty for leaving me with
Graham.
“I gotta get going, kitten.” He straddled the bike, kicked up the stand
and turned the engine.
I stepped closer until my bare leg brushed up against the fabric of his
jeans. “When will I see you again?”
I hated the look he gave me when I asked.
He placed a hand on my cheek, his touch rough yet soft at the same
time. “I got some things I need to take care, but I’ll be in touch. Promise.”
“But you don’t keep promises.” I reminded him. Again hating myself
for my mouth working before my brain.
“I know.”
 Watching him put back on his helmet and rev the engine before
zooming down the driveway had me shattering into a million tiny pieces. I
stood there, not caring about the debris floating around me as I tried to
digest his last words. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that I’d
see him again. I kicked a pebble with the toe of my shoe and turned to look
at the doorway before heading inside.
 8
BEAU

O nly an asshole would leave their daughter with a promise they

couldn’t keep, but she was right. I never kept promises, and that’s
why I never made any. Promises meant showing up, and that’s one
thing I was never good at. I wanted to tell her I’ll see her tomorrow or hell,
even next week, but with my track record I would just be tearing open a
healed wound.
That’s what made Graham different from me. He was there for them; he
was there for her. Halfway down the driveway I wanted to turn around.
Watching her stand there in the middle of the driveway as she quickly
disappeared from my line of sight did something to me. It made me feel
something I’ve spent years numbing with fifty-percent- proof alcohol and
drugs.
Even if I ignored the unfamiliar beat in my chest, what she did today
could have put us both in danger. I already had two strikes against me for
not being there for her, and if she were to lose her life at the hands of my
shady dealings, it would put me in the grave.
I needed to get her out of my head because the more I thought about her,
the more she gnawed at me like a bad disease. I turned into the parking lot
of Finn’s apartment and killed the engine. He texted me when I stopped to
fill up the bike on the way back to the city and said he wanted to get some
food and talk about the tattoo shop. I agreed because it’s not like I could say
no.
He had a bad habit of keeping tabs on me at all times. Afraid I would
slide back too far into my old ways and he wouldn’t be able to save me.
Securing my helmet under my arm, I glanced at the smaller helmet that
Audrey had secured to the seat.
Most people loved memories and held on to them tighter than anything
else, but I hated them. I didn’t have too many good ones, and the few I had
were buried so deep within me, I forgot they existed. Looking down at the
small worn helmet reminded me of her. Albeit good, I could do without it. I
unlatched the helmet, and tossed it in the trash bin sitting at the edge of the
parking lot.
She’ll forget about me in time, a promise I was sure of.
 9
AUDREY

“W ait, so he just left?” Josi asked as she popped her lips.

I kicked off my shoes and face-planted onto my bed. “Yes. I
probably won’t see him again. I ruin everything.”
“It’s not your fault. If I had seen those drugs, I probably would have
freaked out, too.”
I groaned into the duvet, rocking my head from side to side, hoping it
would aid in my smothering attempt. Josi’s voice went into singsong as she
repeated the lyrics from Anti-Hero. Sadly enough, the lyrics fit this
situation perfectly. Hello. It’s me. I’m the problem.
I rolled over. “Yeah, but he told me to keep my mouth shut before we
went in, and what did I do? Opened my big fat mouth.”
“Look on the bright side Audiekins, at least you know your mouth is
big.”
I examined the ceiling. “How does that help me?”
“Because.” She smacked her lips. “You won’t have a problem sucking a
big cock. Think big, babe.”
“What would I do without you Josi,” I asked dryly.
She giggled and continued to shuffle through her makeup products.
That’s what she did for fun. Order a bunch of glosses and lipsticks and
spend hours trying them on while changing her hairdo and eye shadow.
Everything seemed so easy for her. Give her bad news and she’d brush it off
and go about her day. Give me an inkling of bad news and I’d spend the
next month over obsessing. Questioning myself, and what could have
caused it. Like I was now.
“Hello? Hello?” Josi repeated.
 “Yeah, I’m here. Just thinking.”
“Stop it. We don’t have to think anymore until we start college.”
“Lucky us,” I groaned.
Another thing I had to think about. College. A new setting, new faces,
new everything. A recipe for disaster for someone with social anxiety. Josi’s
parents let her take a gap year before starting at UCLA. The news shocked
me, but I guess that just went to show that even people with money didn’t
want to waste it. Josi changed her mind like a revolving door at the mall,
and her parents wanted to make sure going to UCLA was the right choice
for her and their checkbook. Following in her footsteps, I decided to not
enroll for the fall and wait a year as well. Maybe by then my anxiety would
magically disappear.
She wrangled a bag and chomped down. “Oh, Em Gee. I forgot to tell
you. My grandparents are going on some super long European tour in three
days, and I’ll have the entire house to myself for two months.”
“Really? They never go anywhere.”
“I know. So come to Del-Mar now instead of waiting until our birthdays
are closer together.”
I thought over the idea. Her birthday was two weeks after mine and we
always waited until it was closers to hers to plan something. Usually, the
day after her big party because I didn’t like large crowds or parties.
“Okay, but my birthday is in three days.”
“I know. I’ll order a chocolate cake for you and we can watch movies
and make a new list.”
Oh, yeah. The list. The one where I was supposed to kiss a guy before
my eighteenth birthday.
“Okay. I’ll ask Graham if I can use the jet.”
Josi screeched with excitement in my ear, nearly shattering my
eardrums. But her enthusiasm made me smile, something I desperately
needed after what just happened with Beau. I let my mind wander as Josi
started a side conversation with her grandmother, and a knock on the door
pulled me out of my thoughts.
“Hey Josi I have to call you back,” I said, before hanging up.
Graham stood in the doorway, his chest puffed against his dress shirt as
a dull expression warped his face. I sat up, and he entered. I couldn’t
remember the last time he came into my room, at least with me present. He
stood out like a dying plant among the pinks and pastels. He wore dreary
colors that matched his dismal demeanor. With his hands behind his back,
he looked around and then settled his eyes on mine.
“I see you met your father. If you don’t already know, he’s a bum, and a
criminal. So I would tread lightly with him.”
“He’s not a bum. He has a nice loft in Chicago.”
Graham didn’t blink, instead he let out a disappointed sigh.
He brought his arm around and flicked a piece of lint from the cuff.
“I’m sure he does. Criminals seem to enjoy the nicer things in life.”
His words came out with a sting, wrapped in certainty that I didn’t even
bother trying to challenge them. The only person who could change his
mind was my mother, and probably Houdini, and even that would be a
challenge for the great magician. His phone lit up, and he swiped away the
notification.
“You didn’t come to my office like I asked you to, but we need to talk
about your future plans. Now that you’ve finished boarding school and
you’ll be eighteen in three days.”
“My plans?” I asked.
He gave a slow nod as he arched a brow. “Did you enroll in college? If
so, I wasn’t made aware.”
I swallowed and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I’m taking a gap year,”
I said, pulling my blanket up to my chest.
“To do?”
I shrugged, hiding half of my face behind the Eeyore blanket. He closed
his eyes, frustration washing over his face.
“I pay for you. I pay to keep a roof over your head and for your
schooling. I won’t be paying for you to gallivant around and waste time
doing nothing.”
I didn’t say anything, and silence fell upon us. Its cloak heavy. I
regretted not taking my pills today because they made me numb, and I
didn’t have to worry about fighting back the tears that dared to tip through
my lashes. Graham has only seen me cry once, at my mom’s funeral, and
once was more than enough. Nothing could crack the hardened, miserable
shell that encapsulated him. Not my tears, not the death of my mother,
nothing.
“I can get a job,” I squeaked out.
The look of disbelief on his face made me shrink, and he inhaled.
 “You can’t even take a plane with other people like a normal person.
How the fuck are you going to get a job?”
“I don’t like confined spaces with lots of people. But I can—”
He held up a hand, stopping my sentence in its track. Something he did
when his mind had been made.
“I’m giving you two options, Audrey. You enroll in college and tell me
so I can pay for you, or you take the savings your mother put away for you
and we can be done with all this.”
“What? What do you mean, be done with all of this?”
Waiting for his response had me battling to breathe as each second
passed.
“Once you turn eighteen, I’m no longer responsible for you. Your
mother made me promise I would pay for your education and anything that
went along with that.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and stepped
closer. “I’m going on a business trip, I’ll be gone for about a month. Can
you decide once I come back?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Good.” He held my gaze before releasing a hand to rub the back of his
neck. Did you receive your monthly allowance?”
“Yes.”
He waited and then took a step back. I perked up, but quickly slumped
when I realized the question on the tip of my tongue was a pointless one to
ask.
“Anything else?” He urged
I shook my head and waited for him to close my door before falling
back onto my bed. Counting the stars that lined the ceiling, I let a single tear
slide down my face, daring not to blink to prevent the army of tears waiting
to fall over my lashes. I turned to look at the photo of my mom on my
dresser and wondered how in this moment I could love her and hate her at
the same time.
I loved her for everything that she did. I loved her for being a great
mom, but I hated her for marrying Graham, and I hated her for isolating me
from what little family I had left. Rolling over to cradle my safety blanket,
my phone pinged, and I ignored it, opting to force myself into a deep sleep
instead.
 10
BEAU

I f my brother knew I turned down potentially free pussy and a shot at a

relationship with a semi-non crazy woman, he would have asked me
what the fuck I’d been smoking and where he could he find some.
Spreading a woman’s legs apart wasn’t my biggest concern at the moment,
not with Audrey still on my fucking mind, and my tattoo shop. After I left
his apartment, I headed to a bar that belonged to one of my buddies, and it
was just my luck that there was a bachelorette party being held. But I
resisted the temptation, drank my beer and headed home.
My phone sat idle on the bed and regret from sending that text a few
hours ago ran through me like a broken dam. A heavy sigh rolled off my
lips as I opened the door to my closet and pulled out my duffel.
Not only was Finn good at keeping tabs on me, he was also good about
dropping bombs on me at the worst possible times. I closed my eyes and
tipped my chin to the ceiling. A moment of peace before a knock sounded
at the door. Who the fuck could that be? I tossed my hair into a bun and
headed to the door, not even bothering to ask who it was before swinging it
open.
A pair of fresh, teary eyes stared back at me, and I hated myself even
more. Did I do this? Did I make my baby girl cry? I leaned against the
doorframe, shock taking over my body, but only for a second before I
extended a hand to her soft cheek.
“You’ve really gotta stop taking ride shares this late at night, kitten.”
I pulled her inside and shut the door. “How did you get inside my
building?”
 My words swept right over her, yielding no reaction or answer. She
stood like a statue, her mouth slightly parted. My gaze trailed the length of
her and stopped on her heart-shaped face. The apples of her cheeks were
bruised, probably from the tears she wiped away more than once. Fidgeting
with the strap on her small purse, she licked her lips, anticipation on the tip
of her tongue. If she came here to ask me why I left all those years ago, I
couldn’t give her an answer, because it was one she wouldn’t want to hear.
“Are you mad at me?” she asked, her words weak as they slipped off
her lips. “I got your text.”
The text I sent her hours ago was one I wish I could take back. I let her
know maybe we shouldn’t see each other again, that it was probably for the
best. Now here she was in my loft, tears in her eyes, wondering if I hated
her. Witnessing her puffy eyes had my stomach twisting in knots. I stepped
forward and yanked her into my chest, breathing in her honey scented hair.
“No.” I placed a small kiss on the top of her head and then backed
away.
“Really?”
“Yeah”. I trailed a thumb down her cheek and stopped when I reached
her chin. “I haven’t earned the right to be mad at you, Audrey.”
It was true, the only person who had to right to be angry was her. I was
the one who left and gave up on her. Now here I was doing it again. Same
song, different fucking dance. Fuck, I’m full of shit.
She followed me back to my bedroom, her eyes locking on the leather
duffel sitting near the edge of the bed. Her irises lit up with curiosity, and
my mouth tipped in a small grin.
“Go ahead, fire away.”
She raised her chin to meet my gaze, and it was the cutest fucking thing
ever. “Why are you packing? Are you leaving? Where are you going?”
She scurried over to my bed and kicked off her shoes before climbing
on top to take a peek inside.
“Yes, I’m packing, and yes, I’m leaving. I’m headed to California. Does
that answer—”
She jumped to her knees, her hands clenching around my belt. “I need
to go with you. I mean…”
She breathed in, and leaned back on her ankles, the realization that she
cut me off mid-sentence coming full circle. Complicated was an
understatement and I couldn’t even piece together the magnitude of
whatever went on in her brain most of the time, but something about her
stuck with me.
“Breathe, kitten.”
She took in a deep breath and then released it. I nodded, giving her the
green light to explain at a slower pace.
With her hands still secured to my belt, she closed her eyes. “Can I ride
with you to California? I’m staying with my best friend Josi, and Graham
won’t let me use the private jet and I don’t do well in confined spaces with
lots of people. So….”
“So you wanna hitch a thirty-hour ride on the back of my bike?” I
asked, struggling to confine the grin that threatened to spread across my
mouth.
Her mouth fell open, then closed. “Thirty hours?” Defeat was clear in
her voice. “I guess. It’s better than getting on a crowded plane.”
“Oh, baby. You’re gonna be wishing and praying for a plane seat after
the first day on the back of my ride. By the way, you never told me how you
got into my building.”
“I just pressed a bunch of buttons until someone opened the door. Josi
told me to do it. She said it works every time.” She tilted her head, a finger
tight around her soft curls. “Also not true. I rode for two hours the other
day.”
“Did your ass hurt after?” I asked, raising a brow. “Don’t lie to me
either.”
“Just a little.”
She locked her gaze with mine, a faux expression etched into her cute
little face.
I scratched the edge of my chin and held her gaze. “It still burns, doesn’t
it?”
She deflated. “Yes, but it’s going away. If it’s so bad, then why do you
ride?”
I grabbed a stack of shirts, a few pairs of jeans, and some clean boxers
before tossing them into the duffel. “Ain’t nothing better than the open road
and my bike, kitten. I’ll take a sore ass for that any day.”
She eyed my movements, her brain on a determined mission to digest
my words. I tossed the last of my items into the duffel and pinched the
zipper.
“Wait,” she said, grabbing my hand. “That’s all you're taking?”
 “Bikers pack light.” I said, zipping it up in one swift motion.
Her shoulders slumped, and a low chuckle dripped off my lips. I really
should have been steering her away from catching a ride with me to Cali,
but I couldn’t. Not with her big brown eyes staring at me with every ounce
of hope in them. I picked up my duffel and dropped it on the floor.
“I can pack light too.”
Not convinced, I passed a glance her way, and she hopped off the bed to
follow me into the kitchen.
“What if I told you I was leaving tonight?”
She stopped, dread smearing across her face. “Are you?”
“No, I leave tomorrow.” I opened the fridge, disappointed as I looked at
the empty shelves staring back at me and slammed it shut. “Where the hell
are you going?”
“Home. I have to pack.”
She retrieved her phone, and I snatched it out of her hand.
“Home?” I glanced at the time. “It’s almost midnight.”
She shrugged. Not a care in the world. I didn’t grow up with these ride
shares apps and the bullshit that went along with it. I never even stepped
foot inside a taxi, and I had no plans to.
“Ubers run all night, it’s not like—”
“I don’t like it and I don’t like you taking them all alone in the middle
of the night.” I interrupted her.
That boneheaded kid that coerced me into looking at Audrey socials the
other night drove for these ride shares apps in his spare time, and although I
didn’t care for the fucker I would rather put Audrey in his hands, then some
random sicko waiting to take his shot. Not on my watch.
I unlocked my phone and dialed his number. Fucker better pick up.
“Hey, you got time to make a quick $200?” I asked when he picked up.
Audrey leaned in, curious to know who I was talking to.
“Yea. What’s the deal?”
“Come to my loft ASAP. I’ll text the address.”
“Who’s that?” she asked.
I clicked off my phone and placed it on the kitchen island. “The guy
who's going to take you home.”
“How’s that different from just using my ride share app?”
I opened the fridge once more and grabbed the packet of deli meat and
some bread. “Because he works at my shop.” I twisted the top on a cold
bottle of water and took a sip. “And he fears me,” I said, swallowing down
the cool liquid.
“Bully,” She stated.
“Protector.” I took another sip. “Perspective, baby girl.”
Half an hour passed, and my buzzer rang. Dropping the bland sandwich,
I walked Audrey downstairs. The bonehead kid stood outside the glass
door, the lights to his muscle car nearly blinding us as we stepped outside
into the darkness.
“That shit better be fucking insured,” I said, as I walked toward the
passenger side of his car.
“Full coverage.” A cocky smile spread across his face, and his eyes slid
down to Audrey’s ass.
I bit back my annoyance and placed my hand on the hood as I leaned
into the window to take another look at Audrey. “Seat belt,” I scolded.
Her nerves were getting the best of her, and it took her three tries to
click the damn thing in place. An awkward silence surrounded us, and the
kid turned up the volume on the radio.
I reached inside my wallet and plucked two crispy Benjamins. I passed
them through the window, and he extended his hand, but I pulled back.
“I’ve been to prison once. Don’t be the reason I go back.” I dropped the
bills over the center console and straightened my spine.
“Wait, what time are you picking me up tomorrow?” Audrey peered out
the window, her manicured nails curling over the edge.
I let the question linger for a moment, contemplating if I really wanted
to go through with taking a road trip with my daughter. “I’ll let you know.
Text me when you get home.”
The engine revved, and I waited until they disappeared down the block
before heading back inside.

Only an asshole knocks you out of your sleep at 5:00 a.m. The rumbling of
glass cups occupied by a distressed cough let me know Al was making
himself feel at home.
I switched on the light in the hallway and laid eyes on his lean body. A
plastic bag lay limp on the kitchen island, the contents spread out in front of
him. He passed a glance my way, an apology for waking me up, nowhere to
be found on his pierced lips. The microwave beeped, and he turned to open
the door. A sour scent filled my nostrils, steamed rice and orange chicken.
“Old man,” I said, pulling out the wooden stool from the island.
He ignored me, like he always did when I reminded him he was older
than the dirt on my boots. A man of few words, he could tell you to fuck off
without moving his lips and you would hear him loud and clear.
I started to say something else, but a yawn escaped instead.
“Don’t tell me you were sleeping? I don’t remember the last time you
did that.”
“Just a catnap.”
“Just enough before you hop on your bike and get out of Dodge?”
He stabbed a fork into a piece of chicken and pushed it past his lips.
He’s been eating the same fucking Chinese food from the same restaurant
for over ten years, but it didn’t matter. Every time he took a bite, it was like
his first time. He savored it.
“I’ll be back. Just some shit I have to take care of.”
“What time you leaving?”
“Early evening. I have a few clients coming in for some work, and then
I gotta pick up Audrey.”
“Getting close?” His brows furrowed.
I massaged the back of my neck and leaned into the island. “She needs a
ride. She can’t handle people or some shit like that. Whatever. I should be
in California in two days, tops.”
An ominous, slow laugh vibrated from his chest as he wiped his mouth
with a napkin. I hated when he did that. That was his way of telling me
whatever plans I had were going to go from sugar to shit.
“Enjoy it, boy. Take the scenic route with her. Don’t waste it on the
tollway.”
I stood and grabbed a water from the fridge, then returned to my seat.
The cool liquid soothed my parched throat, and I finished the entire thing in
a few gulps.
“No time for that. I have to get there and get back.”
“Back to what?” he asked, looking around the darkened loft with his
arms spread.
I followed his eyes, disappointed at how little he thought of my loft. “I
have to water my plant.”
 “I’ll take care of it.”
“You mean you’ll kill it?”
He sliced his gaze to mine, his hollow eyes reading me like an open
book. “Take the scenic route. Less traffic and less bullshit. You need it, and
so does she.”
“And less reception. She’s seventeen and uses her phone every five
damn minutes,” I said.
He took another bite of his food. “Take the scenic route and let her see
who you are. Get to know her.” He chewed, and then swallowed. “Before
you run out on her again. She deserves that much.”
He broke out in one of his coughing spells, and I clenched my phone,
ready to dial 911 the moment he hit the floor. Struggling to reach a glass
from the top shelf, I helped him out and placed it in his hands. I shouldn’t
have been surprised when he reached for the brand new bottle of brandy
instead of a bottle of water, but I was. The bottle read forty-proof, and he
didn’t even squint when it went down. He nodded, contentment riding over
his face as if all his health problems were now magically cured.
“You know you’ll probably live longer if your drank some damn water.”
“Not a chance. Jack Daniels is why I’ve lived this long to begin with.”
He took another sip, letting out a breath as the liquor burned his esophagus.
“Plus, I don’t like the taste.”
“It’s water. It doesn’t have a taste.”
He didn’t say anything, and we both sat in silence until he moved from
the kitchen to the couch. Every time he closed his eyes, I wondered if my
time with him was up. He was content with the reaper knocking on his door
every time he took a drink and lit up a smoke. I guess that’s what life did to
someone with a closet full of skeletons and blood on their hands.
Almost fully awake, I glanced at the time on the microwave. A little
past 6:00 a.m. Getting back to sleep wasn’t going to happen, no matter how
hard I tried. I combed my hands down my face and joined Al on the couch.
I pulled out my phone and hit the Google maps icon. Fine, you old fuck.
Let’s take the scenic route.
 11
AUDREY

W hen I got home last night, Graham was already gone. Martha, our
long-term maid, stayed late to let me know he left for his jet a few
hours after my ride share picked me up. Even when my mom was
alive, I never got used to the big house he lived in. It seemed so impersonal,
almost sterile. It reminded me of a museum, with expensive artifacts that
shouldn’t be touched.
Even the common areas made me uncomfortable. My mom didn’t mind,
and she made it her own for the time being, for the years she was alive.
Then once her casket was lowered to the ground, and the dirt piled over,
Graham went to work returning his castle back to its former state. The
colorful flowers propped up in pretty vases vanished from every corner of
the mansion, along with whatever warmth still lingered behind. Martha told
me he did it because the softer state reminded him too much of her, but
that’s exactly what I needed at the time, a reminder that she was still here
with me.
DAD??
Pick you up at 2PM. Pack light.
AUDREY
K!

I lifted my floral duffel, and tested the strength of the straps as I held it
in one hand. Piles of clothing lay scattered amongst the room as
indecisiveness took hold of me. I’ve always traveled with two or three
suitcases, and a backpack, but being forced to a medium duffel and a
backpack was a challenge. I called Josi last night and told her I was hitching
a ride with my dad and she gasped with excitement.
She asked what I was packing and I had to slow her roll, telling her that
I wasn’t bringing my large trunk suitcases. Then we made a list, writing
down all of the clothing I could fit in my colorful duffel before it bursted at
the seams. We settled on a handful of denim shorts, t-shirts, a few crop tops,
a pair of leggings, one sweater and two swimsuits. Oh and the vibrator she
got me a few months back. To ensure everything fit she insisted I rolled
them up like little sushi rolls. The idea seemed weird, but once I packed
everything in I still had room, so I guess it worked.
Almost forgetting that I had to sleep I rolled four oversized night shirts
and dropped them in the duffel along with my toiletry bag, and hair brush. I
double checked my hip purse for the most important things. Wallet, phone,
fidget and pills. I shoved my feet into a pair of low-top sneakers and headed
downstairs.
The sun was at its highest when I stepped out, beating down on me with
no remorse, but I’d rather stand here, than inside the frozen glass house. I
dropped my backpack, and pulled my phone out of my purse. 2:05 p.m. I
waited, my thoughts taking over my brain. 2:15PM. I scrolled through my
messages, double checking to make sure I didn’t miss one.
2:25 p.m. Maybe he stopped to get gas?
2:30 p.m. Maybe he got a flat?
2:35 p.m. Maybe he got lost and his phone died so he couldn’t text me?
2:40 p.m. Maybe…
If my mom was here she would tell me I told you so, and wipe the
disappointment from my face as she encouraged me to forget all about it. To
forget all about him. Gearing up to text Josi that all our plans fell apart like
a three-tier cake the roar from his engine seeped into my ears. Security
unlatched the gate, and he hightailed it up the long driveway. I froze, my
gaze glued on the cloud of dust floating around him as he kicked the stand
with his black boot.
I tried to speak, but nothing came out as he approached. An unfamiliar
look clouded his expression, one I couldn’t make out. I fought the
electricity and nervousness that nipped at my spine, then he stopped in front
of me, and gave me a once-over.
“You said 2:00 p.m.,” I said, sounding like a complete pessimist.
 He unclipped his shades from his shirt, slicing his gaze to the backpack
in my hand and then at my sneakers.
“Wrong shoes, kitten.” His brows sloped as he slid his shades into his
hair.
I looked down, taking note of my chubby cankles, and raised my chin to
meet his stare. A hint of softness stirred behind his hazel eyes as his lips
tipped into a small grin. Maybe he read the emotions dancing across my
face and this was his way of apologizing without saying the words. He
turned to look around, his gaze focused on the house, and my gaze glued on
the neat, yet manly French braid running down the back of his head.
“What’s wrong with my shoes?” I asked, looking back down.
“Nothing, unless you want the heat of the pipes to melt your skin right
off.”
I looked down once more, and let out a breath. Setting my bag down I
headed back inside, stopping in the middle of the door frame. “Grahams
gone.”
Beau swept a glance as he canvased the place once more, deciding if he
should or shouldn’t enter. I turned on my heel in the direction of the grand
staircase and he followed behind. His face mirrored mine the first time I set
foot inside the gigantic box, as I called it when I was seven years old. I
reached the top floor, and breathed in before slowly letting out the tired
breath in my lungs, proof that I was winded from two long flights of stairs.
Sometimes I would forget to mask my breathing and Graham would catch
me red handed as air battled in my lungs. I didn’t know what was worse, his
silence or the stoic look that played across his face.
“You stay here all alone?” Beau asked as he followed me to my room.
I opened the door. “Yeah. I’m pretty used to it now. Martha is here
during the day, unless I ask her to spend the night.”
Beau stepped inside, his eyes softening as he looked around the pastel
colored room. He canvased, his eyes jumping from one corner of the room
to the next. He spotted the full length mirror in another corner and stalked
over to it. A rose-gold tint outlined the frame and photos from different
stages of my life hung off the edges.
He studied them, tilting his head from side to side as he foraged through
the collage of photos and hand drawn pictures. One caught his eye, and he
peeled it off, careful to not disrupt the other ones around it. As if reliving
the moment, a slice of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He
pinched it between two fingers, then flipped it around.
“Can you guess what happened after this was taken?”
I raised my shoulders. “No clue.”
I eyed it, a little four-year-old me sound asleep in his arms with a cloud
of cotton candy snug in my hand. It was my favorite photo, and the only
one my mom let me keep of him.
“You threw a nasty fit because I woke you up by accident.” He rubbed
the pads of his thumb over it, focusing on the crease before tucking it back
where it belonged. “Your mom said you cried for thirty minutes straight
before you choked on your spit and it scared the shit out of you.”
“Why didn’t you help me? Where were you?”
“I had to run out, and…” He scratched the edge of his chin and let his
words trail off.
“And you never came back.” The words spurted over my lips before my
brain caught up to stop me.
Me and my mouth, ripping bandages off without a care in the world.
Awkward silence settled between us, but it I didn’t let it last long. I flicked
the light on in my closet.
“Jesus, woman.”
“What?” I asked, meeting his gaze.
“It’s like a mini fucking mall in here.”
“Josi’s is bigger,” I stated.
He chuckled and walked around me. “You’ve got to stop doing that,
kitten.”
“Doing what?”
“Comparing.” His arms reached up and pulled down a brown Doc
Marten box. “Right here, baby. This is what you need.”
“Boots?”
“Yup.” He flipped open the top and drew back the tissue paper to
expose a new pair of 1460s lace up boots in monochromatic purple.
Josi gave those to me as a Christmas gift the first year I met her, but the
happiness of wearing them was fleeting when Graham laid eyes on them. I
loved them, but he hated them and let me know.
“I don’t wear those anymore.”
“Do you have any other boots that cover your ankles?”
I shook my head.
 “Mmmhmm. Come on, kitten.”
I followed him out of the closet and stopped when he knelt on the
carpet. He pulled them out, one by one, and removed the ball of paper
inside.
“Sit,” he instructed, his brow arched.
My chunky thighs flattened like kneaded dough when I sat down on the
edge of my bed and I placed my hands in my lap.
“I can put them on myself.”
He lifted his chin and stopped his gaze once it met my thighs. Then he
tore his eyes away. “No doubts about that, kitten.”
Giving an unyielding gaze, he slipped off my sneakers, exposing my
pink painted fat little sausage toes. I held back a giggle as he slipped a pair
of clean socks on my feet before shoving them inside each boot. He tied
them up and then rose to his feet. A thrill of excitement ran through me as I
looked down at them. Almost four years had passed since these have seen
the light of day, and I wanted to jump up and do a happy dance, but I
didn’t.
I grabbed three extra pair of socks out of my drawer and a shoe mesh
bag from the closet to put my sneakers in. On our way out, he spotted my
electric pink insulated water bottle and grabbed it, holding it in the air as he
powered down the stairs.
“Where can I fill this?” he asked
“The kitchen, to the left once you reach the bottom.”
After he filled my water bottle, we loaded up the back of his bike with
my things and secured it. His duffel was on the bottom, and my floral one
on top, along with my backpack.
“Heads up.” He tossed a matte purple helmet with two cat ears sticking
up at the top in my direction.
“What happened to the other one I wore?” I asked, patting down the top
of my head.
“Lost it.”
I forced it onto my head, pulling on the straps against the will of my
ruthless, thick curls. “Is this why you were late?”
“If I told you yes, would you still be upset?” He gave a hard yet gentle
tug on the straps of my helmet before snapping them together.
“Probably,” I said, squinting as I gave him a closed mouth smile.
“Do you get bored easily, kitten?”
 “Um, not really. Why?”
“Because we’re taking the scenic route.”
He fired up the engine, making me jump back, and a dark-hearted
chuckle echoed off his lips. I don’t know why it gnawed at me every time I
heard it, but had electricity shooting through my veins at lightning speed.
He returned his shades to his chiseled face and waited for me to climb on.
My ball of emotions and anxiety were a pot itching to spill over, and his
hotness and crude sense of humor just added to the overflow. I hoped I
could handle this and him.
 12
BEAU

O nce we left Audrey’s house, we headed straight for the highway. I

had the whole route mapped out, although I didn’t need it. I’ve taken
the long route to California more times that I could count. Her grip
was tight around my waist, sweet scents of honey and vanilla seeping into
my nose as she leaned into me.
I fought the whole idea of her coming along since the night she
suggested it and that’s why I was late. As time inched closer to noon, my
nerves got the better of me. I had plans, plans that didn’t include her, that
didn’t include anybody, really. Plans of running away, and starting over one
last time. Except, running away was harder when people got comfortable
and depended on you. When you walked out on someone that placed you on
a pedestal, it made you the bad guy, the villain, the one that let it all go to
shit.
Al took one look at me as I putzed around the shop and closed in with a
clenched fist and an angry glare on his face. I hopped off my stool; duffel in
hand and headed out the door. Then I remembered I tossed the spare helmet,
and I needed a new one for her.
As I rounded the corner to her house, a small part of me hoped she
wouldn’t be there waiting, but she was. Standing on the grand front porch
with her wild curls, sweet face and bags in hand. I showed up, but the look
she gave me had me feeling like the lying son of a bitch her mother told her
I was.
I had no intentions of stepping inside her home, but one look at her
shoes and I had to say something. Thirty-plus hours on a bike with pipes
hotter than the devil’s asshole would have ruined the skin on her chunky
little ankles, and a trip to the ER was not in the plans. She invited me in,
assuring me her asshole fire-breathing stepdad wasn’t around.
She didn’t know it, but stepping foot inside brought back a wave of bad
memories, ones I’ve fought hard to keep buried. I’d walked through those
halls more times than I could count, and powered up that grand staircase
just to be denied the one person I wanted to see. Her. She had no idea. No
idea at all.
My thoughts turned to dust when we came to a standstill. We hit a
traffic jam a mile from one of the large highway oasis. Audrey squirmed in
her seat, and I took that as my cue to give us a little break. We’d been riding
for about two hours. Our first stop was St. Louis, a quick four-hour drive
from Chicago, one that I could do easily with no stops, practically with my
eyes closed.
I split a few lanes, careful to not make any sudden turns or movements
to startle the sweet girl gripping my waist for dear life. I wasn’t a bad rider,
but I wasn’t the safest one either. Just like my life, I had a bad habit of
being a reckless rider when I got on the open road. Al always made jokes
and asked me what a speed limit was for because I didn’t give a damn about
them.
I slowed, approaching the exit and passed by a long row of trucks
hanging idle on the exit ramp. I spotted Audrey’s curiosity in the mirror,
like she’s never seen a row of trucks before. I pulled up next to a pump and
killed the engine.
“Can I get a snack?” she asked, tugging at her helmet.
“Yeah. Can you get me one too?” I handed her my card.
“I have money.” She placed her helmet on the seat.
“So do I.”
She snatched the card and headed toward the door. I stilled my
movements and waited until she was safely inside the gas station before I
started the pump. By the time I filled up the tank, she was walking back
over with a small slushy and two candy bars.
“How’d you know?” I eyed the Butterfinger, my preferred trash snack.
“Lucky guess,” she said with a shrug.
We took a moment to people watch. I leaned against my bike, and
caught her gaze. Her plump lips turned violet, as well as her tongue, from
the fruity icy drink. But God, did she look like a cutie sipping it up without
a care in the world.
 “Where do you think they’re going?”
I swallowed, and folded my arms across my chest. “Who?”
“The travelers.”
“Depends on who you’re looking at.” I tilted my head toward a minivan
with a woman and two small kids hanging out the window. “She could be a
on trip with her kids, or running away from the nightmare desperate to
catch up with her.” I turned, looking over my shoulder at a man in a t-shirt
and jeans filling up an old muscle car. “He’s been on the move for a long
time. He’s just driving until something piques his interest to stop.”
“And that lady?” she asked, her eyes straight ahead.
A young woman, no older than twenty-five, bounced from one side of
her Jeep to the other as she packed in snacks and other things before sliding
into the driver's seat.
“She’s optimistic. In love, most likely. A boy probably lied to her, and
now she’s on her merry way down a golden brick road cemented with lies.”
She cocked her head and rolled her eyes. “And you?”
“You know where we’re going, kitten.”
“Yeah, but you never told me why.”
Her words made a rock form in my throat, and I took a sip of water
from my bottle. How do I tell her I’m back on my bullshit after all these
years? Kitten, I’m headed to California because I don’t want you to get too
comfortable with me and my brother is an annoying fucker I want to get
away from as well.
“Visiting an old friend. Haven’t seen him in a while.”
I was certain she didn’t take my lie at face value. Just like me, she could
smell bullshit a mile away, and she was smart. Too damn smart.
“You ready?” I asked, looking down at my watch, cursing myself for
taking a longer break than I wanted.
She tossed the wrapper of the candy bar and her empty drink cup before
running back inside to use the bathroom. When she returned, we headed
out, and I was glad the little standstill of traffic had thinned out some. One
hundred more miles to go.
One thing I loved about summer was how time stopped. I rode on the wings
of the slowly setting sun in the distance and closed my eyes just long
enough to let the warm air sweep over my skin. I removed my shades and
tucked them under my shirt as I eyed Audrey in my side mirror. Even with
the sun sitting on the horizon, the colorful floodlights of the St. Louis
Gateway Arch shined through. I took a sharp right, heading straight toward
the exit that led to the memorial grounds.
“We’re going?” Audrey yelled in my ear.
“Yup,” I yelled back, over the roar of the pipes.
I thought I heard her whimper after I told her we were going to see the
arch, but I wasn’t certain. We drove toward the entrance gates, paid for our
tickets and parked near the front. I killed the engine and waited for Audrey
to jump down.
“Are we going inside?” Worry tainted her words.
I climbed off after her, and stepped into her bubble. “Yeah. The view is
amazing. You’ll love it.”
“I won’t.”
I quirked a brow, “Trust me, you will.”
She shrank a little, her gaze lingering on the tall metal arch in front of
her. “But it’s so…”
“Tall?” I leaned in and removed her helmet. “Are you afraid of
heights?”
Some of her curls snaked around the straps, and I pulled them away.
“No, but what about people?”
“It’s pretty late in the day. Not many people. Plus, it’s a weekday.”
I double checked the bike was secure, and we headed inside. It had been
years since I stepped inside this building. A older woman checked our
tickets and we went through security. Audrey didn’t like it, the touching,
probing, and the way the guard snooped around her little purse. The
uncomfortableness was written on her face and she didn’t hesitate to snatch
her purse out the guard’s hand.
“What’s with the security?” she asked, strapping her purse around her
waist.
“Precaution. Just in case I guess.”
“In case of what?” She rolled her eyes.
I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the large blue sign that read
START. At first ,she was hesitant, scrutinizing as we made our way through
the long tunnel of history, but then she relaxed, her anxiety slowly slipping
away. She took in the history of the arch, her facial expressions going
through the motions as she read and listened to the facts. I found myself
leaning against the wall, taking her in. Wondering to myself why I went so
long without her only to brush off the thoughts once the truth came rearing
its ugly head.
“Is the tour over?” she asked, staring down at the brochure in her hand.
“Nope, the best part is coming up.”
Her cute little face lit up, and we started down a smaller tunnel and then
headed up a few flights of stairs. The excitement in her eyes vanished once
she caught sight of small pods moving in a circular motion up a track. She
froze.
“Baby girl?”
“I can’t…”
I relayed a warm smile, and stepped into her space. Damn she smelled
sweet. “It’s not scary.” I tucked a curly lock of hair behind her ear, exposing
the small diamond stud.
A man in a blue uniform scanned our bracelets and instructed us to step
up to the yellow line. A whirling sound increased as the pod got closer, and
Audrey eyed the untrustworthy contraption that had the responsibility of
taking us to the very top of the arch. The doors snapped back, exposing a
space no larger than a small utility closet. I stepped forward and ducked as I
crossed the threshold, but Audrey didn’t move.
“Come on, kitten,” I said, holding out my hand.
With her feet rooted to the floor she chewed on the inside of her cheek.
“Kitten?”
“I can’t…I can’t go—”
“Audrey. It’s fine. Come on,” I said, cutting her off.
“I’m claustrophobic. It’s too small and—”
“Yes, you can. It’s two minutes, tops. Just two minutes and you’ll be at
the top.”
She licked her lips, and looked around. I was grateful we were the only
ones waiting to board, because a crowd would have just made this whole
thing ten times worse. I held out my arm, moving my hand in a “come
here’’motion as I urged her to grab it. She didn’t want to, the fear was
evident on her face, but she took one tiny step and then another until both of
her feet were inside the pod.
 “That’s my girl.”
I pulled her farther inside, but instead of taking one of the tiny seats
next to me she landed in my lap, her fingers still intertwined with mine. The
doors shut and an automated voice came through the speaker, reminding us
of the safety protocols. We sat through it, and then the pod jerked as it
started to climb.
No words were exchanged as the pod inched its way to the top. Shivers
nipped at Audrey as she twirled strands of hair around her finger and
jiggled her leg. She was cute when nervous. I placed my hand on her back,
and caressed.
“It’s taking forever,” she complained.
“Not long.”
“You said two minutes.”
“A few minutes.”
“It’s been three minutes.” She whined.
A chuckle rolled off my tongue and I ran a thumb down her cheek. A
sudden tilt of the pod had her nails digging into my thigh and she
whimpered.
“We won’t die. It’s just a little shaky.”
“How do you know we won’t die?”
“Trust me. This was way worse twenty years ago.” I winked.
The pod jerked once more, and then came to an abrupt stop. The doors
opened and we stepped into a dark hallway. I grabbed her hand, letting my
fingers slide between hers as I followed the glowing yellow lines up the
stairs. She shuffled behind me, the toe of her boots scrapping the back of
mine. Crossing over the threshold, we left the darkness and entered the top
of the arch. Not waiting for me to step forward a little more, she moved
around me, her eyes glued to the blood orange sky through the slits.
“What do ya think? Was it worth almost dying?” I asked, closing in on
her.
She looked at me with those brown eyes, the slits wide with excitement,
and fear like she was on top of the world, but could fall any minute. I turned
my back so it faced the window and stared out the other small slits across
from me. She looked onward, biting her lip in a slow repeated motion as
she looked out, her thoughts running rampant I could only imagine. Fuck
those lips.
“The sky is so…”
 “So?” I inched forward, until I was able to inhale the faint scent of her
candy flavored perfume.
I never thought in a million years I would be standing this close to my
baby girl again. A baby girl, who was no longer a baby, and almost a full-
grown woman.
“Weird I guess. I’ve never seen the sky look like this before.”
I looked out the window across from me, darkness quickly consuming
the blood orange sky as time ticked between us. Thick clouds idled to the
left of us, ready to eat away the sliver of light still looming ahead. Rain
wasn’t in the forecast for most of the week, but it wouldn’t be a road trip
without unplanned weather. But I didn’t want to rush her, I didn’t want to
rush us.
I switched sides, moving from her left to her right, and crossed one
ankle over the other as I pressed into the wall. Then she started, like
clockwork. Her finger found the ends of her curls, and she twisted, her
mouth moving in little twitch movements as her gaze zoned out on the
ominous turning sky.
“What?” she asked in a breathy tone.
She was shit at hiding her nerves. Did I make her nervous?
“Waiting for you to tell me why you don’t like tiny spaces?” I shoved
my hands into the front of my jeans, and waited.
“Because.” She shrugged.
“Because of what?”
“Just cause. I don’t.”
She stood on her toes, and placed her elbows on the windowsill to get a
better look at the ground below her. She winced at the height, and then
planted her feet back on the floor.
“Okay,” I stated, scratching the edge of my beard.
Her brows furrowed, “Okay what?”
“You don’t have to tell me. It’s fine. I guess it’s only fair anyway,” I
said, giving a half shrug.
She gave a blank stare before her sweet innocent eyes widened. Her
memory coming full circle with the little secret I’ve been holding on to.
With her mouth in the form of an “O” she stepped up to me, nose inches
from my lips and a creased forehead. “You never told me what I did in my
sleep,” she said through clenched teeth.
 Her gaze bore into mine. An attempt to feel me out and spot the bullshit
lie that halted on the edge of my lips. I could have told her the truth, eased
her mind, but where was the fun in that?
“You really wanna know?”
“Yes.” She strained as her fingers clenched around my shirt.
Her stressful state made it hard to fight the laughter daring to erupt from
my throat. But nonetheless I fought it and pretended to give her what she
wanted. She turned her cheek away, just as I bent down to press my nose
into the softness of her curls.
By the way heat crawled up her neck with the added fire in her eyes I
knew my words just added to her frustration. That devilish smile I tried so
hard to hide broke through. She huffed, and lowered herself back to the
floor. She gave a stern look, and I grabbed her hand, leading her back to the
pods.
 13
AUDREY

I replayed his words in my head as I followed him to the exit and down
the tiny, dark hallway. I had my heart set on him telling me the thing
that was so fascinating when I slept, but he strung me along. Teasing me
more, and it only made me worry and obsess.
If I was a girl who just went with the flow, like Josi, I would have
forgotten all about Beau’s playful cruelty, but that wasn’t how I was wired. I
always needed to know everything. It was the only way I knew how to
function in a world with so much uncertainty.
When we stopped in front of the yellow line, I hugged myself and let
out an audible breath, of course he pretended like he didn’t hear it and
continued scrolling through his phone. The pod approached and halted
before the doors opened. Seeing the inside of the tiny box planted my feet
in fear once again, and once again, Beau had to coax me inside. I took a seat
next to him, sitting on my hands as I looked down at my feet. The pod
moved, halting and jerking, as it made its way through the tunnel. I was
prepared for the same ride, but it didn’t occur to me until my heart dropped
in my stomach that we were descending at a much faster rate than
expected.
“I hate this,” I mumbled.
He leaned forward and placed a hand on my thigh as he continued to
look down at his phone. He was so relaxed, not a care in the world, that we
were in a tiny box that was descending 650 feet at an alarming rate.
Another whimper escaped my lips as the pod jerked forward abruptly. A
flash of light skated outside the doors, followed by a loud pop, and then
another drop as the pod tilted some more. The look of horror on my face
must have been evident because his nose was inches from mine, a small
grin slowly crawling across his lips.
“This isn’t funny.” I spat, pouting my lips.
“How can you be turning eighteen in less than forty-eight hours and you
didn’t even cross anything off your list?”
He air-quoted “list” with his fingers.
“What? I’ve crossed things off—”
“Like one thing. What was it?” He looked around, the corners of his
eyes creasing in scrutiny. “Oh, yeah, a fucking beer. You had some beer.”
I snapped my head up, raising my chin to match his height. “Just not
beer. I’ve done other things.”
He waited, and I chewed the inside of my cheek as I mentally thought
about my list, very much aware that having a beer was the only thing I
could cross off.
“I kissed a boy. See? More than one thing.” I flipped my curls over my
shoulder and raised my chin to look ahead at the dirty wall in front of me.
“What’s his name?”
“What?”
His eyes twinkled, the corner of his lips curling at one end. Proof his
bullshit detector was charged and fully working.
“I don’t know. I can’t remember,” I said, giving him a deep eye roll.
I refused to face him, doing so would just give me away and he didn’t
need to know that I was forced into a closet with a boy who slimed me like
a bad breath drooling dog.
“Bullshit.” He leaned forward until his hand rested on the wall behind
me. “You never forget your first kiss, kitten. I can assure you of that.”
“Do you remember your first kiss?” I asked, digging into my purse to
retrieve my strawberry-flavored lip balm.
He chuckled. “Yeah. Her name was Nola Pepperwrinkle, and it was the
worst fucking thing ever. She had braces.”
I gave a half shrug. “Okay. So what?”
“And so did I.” He wiggled his brows.
Shock was an understatement. No way in the history of all history that
the man sitting next to me had nerd 101 attire. One look at him and I was
sure he wore the cool kid badge. He had the height, the hair, the muscle and
the smile. He cut his gaze back to mine, and I looked away, focusing on my
boots. A few seconds passed with no movement, and then the pod jerked
before the doors opened. He shoved his phone back into his pocket and
stood, stretching his hand out for me to take.
We emerged from the dark tunnel to an empty lobby and dimmed
lights.
“Liar.” I dropped his hand.
He jutted his chin out to the side. “I don’t lie.”
“Just like you don’t keep promises?”
“Damn right, baby girl.” He stuck one finger in the air. “I don’t lie,” he
said adding another finger. “And I don’t make promises.”
He continued his stroll through the empty lobby. It reminded me of a
lazy river. Slow and steady. Not realizing I stopped, he twisted so his front
faced me, and stretched out his arms.
“Coming?” he asked.
I rushed to catch up with him, the soles of my boots catching against the
laminated floor as I reached the exit. Stiff, hot air hit my face once I stepped
outside, and I peered up at the sky.
“Are we going to make it to the hotel?” I asked, taking the helmet off
the backseat.
“Probably not, but we can kill some time while we wait it out.”
He snapped my helmet into place and shuffled my thick curls out of the
way. Beau stood over six feet, with broad shoulders, and hands that could
crush a man’s soul, yet his touch was gentle and it wasn’t until he was
secure on his bike waiting for me to hop on that I realized how much his
softness toward me meant.
Droplets of rain pelted my bare arms as we rode through the streets of
St. Louis. The sky lit up as lines of silver played hide and seek amongst the
blackened sky. We pulled into a parking lot of a mom and pop pizza place.
A loud roar broke through the clouds, and we entered the establishment just
in the nick of time. Beau didn’t wait to be seated, and picked a booth near
the wall to the left of us.
Pellets of rain assaulted the window as I looked through the menu. Beau
didn’t even bother and kept his eyes on me the entire time.
“Whatcha looking for?”
I lowered the menu down the bridge of my nose. “Pizza.”
“Let me guess, cheese?”
I snapped the menu shut and placed it on the table. The waiter came by,
setting down two waters and a basket of peanuts.
 I matched his energy and crossed my arms over my chest. “Let me
guess…” I let my words trail off and tapped my finger on my chin
“Carnivore’s dream?”
He tipped his head back as an unexpected laugh rolled off his tongue. A
beat of silence passed between us as we eyed the rain from the window.
Beau found a spot where the bike wouldn’t get completely wet, and luckily,
the cabana sticking out from the side of the building was doing a decent job.
I unbuckled my waist purse and shoved it into my backpack. Beau had told
me to bring it inside so it wouldn’t get wet.
The waiter returned with a strawberry lemonade and a beer. Without
even looking at the menu, Beau ordered us a custom pizza filled with meat,
pineapple, mushrooms and with an extra-crispy buttery crust.
When the waiter walked away, he rubbed his tummy and slid his tongue
across his bottom lip. I pretended not to care.
“You eat like a wild beast,” I said, and took a sip of my lemonade.
“Big boys require big meals, baby.” He raised the beer bottle to his lips.
“You’ll love it. I promise.”
Before I could remind him, he let a sly grin spread across his lips. We
waited and passed glances back and forth as I caught up on missed text
messages. Josi wanted to know how it was going, but I couldn’t bring
myself to type out paragraphs of text about my dad when he was staring at
me nonstop. So I opened my backpack and retrieved a decorative notebook
and made a list.

Epic Roadtrip List

1. St. Louis Arch: Check!
2. Thrifting Store
3. Tattoo Shop

“Thrifting?” He pressed into the table to get a better look.

I glowered and continued to add things in a numeric order. He
mentioned we were taking old Route 66 and there had to be a thrift store on
the way.
“It’s a hobby of mine,” I said, removing the top to my pen.
“Oh? I thought list making was your hobby?”
 I gave another scrutinizing look and then scribbled on the pad. I started
thrifting after my mom passed, to fill my room with things that had
meaning and stories. Graham’s home was sterile, void of anything with
emotion or memories, and I hated it.
Beau swallowed his sip of beer. “Where’s that other list of yours? The
one you’ve been obsessing over since I met you.”
“I don’t obsess.”
“Have you met yourself?” he joked and placed his elbows on the table.
I drew my bottom lip between my teeth and ignored the fact that I
needed to cross off four items before I turned eighteen. “Why did you go to
jail?”
I kept my eyes on the pad and scribbled as I waited for him to reply to
the bomb I just dropped in his lap. He took another sip of his beer, his
tongue too stunted to speak at the moment.
“Prison, not jail. I got in some shit, but it’s nothing you need to be
concerned about,” he said, his expression closing.
I tapped the pen on the pad. “What if you’re a serial killer? Wouldn’t
you want me to know?”
“I don’t think that’s how it works, kitten.”
I flinched at his tight-lipped laughter. A doughy butter scent filled my
nostrils, and I wrinkled my nose before lifting my head. The waiter
approached with a super sized pizza on a round stone and a large bowl of
ranch. A low moan dripped off Beau’s lips as the waiter pushed the
bubbling hot pizza between us with a thick oven mitt.
“It’s hot. Enjoy,” he said, refilling our waters before walking off.
“Ready, baby?”
“You can’t even see the cheese,” I protested, looking down at the
monstrous large pizza.
“It’s fucking beautiful.” He cut a slice and pulled it apart from the rest.
Then opened his mouth and took a big bite.
“Beast,” I teased.
He shook his head, another low moan flowing off his lips. He took one
more bite, and then turned the pizza around as he dangled it in front of my
face. I was reluctant. It looked a mess, filled with many meats and other
veggies. The boarding school only served cheese pizza or veggie pizza, and
Graham wasn’t the pizza eating type. Succumbing to the tomatoey smell, I
opened slowly, and took a small bite. Beau waited, and my taste buds went
haywire.
“OMG!”
“Tell me about it, kitten. It’s fucking chef’s kiss.”
I took another bite, and then another until the only thing left in Beau’s
hand was the measly crust, but then I devoured that too. I tapped my fingers
impatiently on the table as I waited for him to cut another slice. A mountain
of cheese tethered itself to another piece as he pulled it away, and I opened
wide.
“We’re going to do this all night, huh?” he asked, a deep smile forming
as he reached over.
“Mmmhmm.” I chewed, my jaws moving in rapid circular motions as I
savored every bite.
I eventually gave him back his hands and ate the last two slices on my
own. Time passed, and we both sat back in our seats, stuffed with no more
room, not even for the soft-serve machine in the corner that whispered my
name. Beau finished his beer and then flagged down the waiter for the bill.
“Put it back, baby,” he said, eyeing the plastic card in my hands.
“I have money. I can contribute.” I waved my card in the air, and
accidentally dropping it onto the table.
“Graham’s money,” he mumbled, scribbling a tip on the receipt.
I let my shoulders fall and slid the card back into the pocket of my
purse. “I have my own money. Just not his money.”
He signed his name on the signature line and shoved his sapphire
colored credit card back into his dark leather wallet.
“Allowance, right? I doubt my little kitten works.” He stood, tugging on
the chained lanyard peeking out of his jeans pocket. “Come on, kitten, let’s
get you to bed.”
I sucked down the last sip of my lemonade and followed him out the
door. I didn’t think the air could get any thicker or hotter, but I was wrong.
The rain left behind a thick shield of humidity that made it hard to breathe.
Keeping up with his long strides, I stepped over some puddles while
purposely splashing in others just for fun. The metallic haze of my boots
reflected against the water, and it prompted me to take a picture.
Focusing to make sure I didn’t drop my phone, the light flashed, and
when I looked back up Beau was standing a few feet in front of me, eyes
locked on mine with my helmet under his arm . It was as if he was
remembering something, or trying to hold on to the moment. I walked over,
took the helmet and waited for him to climb on as I snapped it in place.
It was funny being in St. Louis, or anywhere that wasn’t an exclusive
island or resort. Graham was a wealthy man who came from a wealthy
family. They had it all, including a private jet and yachts, yet I could count
on one hand the places I’ve been. Nowhere new, and always the same. Beau
made a slight turn, and I grabbed on to his waist as he pulled off the
highway.
A glittery golden sign in script letters read The Chase Plaza Royal
Hotel, and we pulled into the hotel circle. It was fabulous and reminded me
of the many hotels Graham stayed in. The bellhop approached, and Beau
unhooked our bags. Overtaken by how fancy it was, my mind went back to
Beau, and wondered if he did this for me.
“Can you start the check-in process while I park the bike?” He handed
me his wallet and told the bellhop he’d be right back.
I stumbled toward the front desk, my boots catching on the laminated
floor again. A slim man with a stoic face lifted his eyes to mine and gave a
dry welcome. He asked if I was checking in, and I nodded.
“Name?” he asked.
“Beau.”
“Last name?” His tone now sharper.
I don’t know why I didn’t blurt out my own last name, but I flipped
open the flap to his wallet, and scanned his driver’s license.
“Black.”
His fingers typed at the speed of light and he held out a slender hand for
a card and ID. His eyes sliced between Beau’s ID and my face. I started to
say something, but the heat of Beau’s body engulfed me when he
approached. The man’s eyes widened, his jaw going rigid at the sight of
Beau. Beau’s large arms rested on the counter, while my fingers tapped the
edge. I leaned back into his hard chest, feeling smaller than ever as he
hovered over me. It was weird, feeling small. The man tapped some more
and then spun around. He snatched two shiny key cards from the mouth of a
machine and slid them into a cream-colored card holder as he mouthed off
the amenities at the speed of light.
With our keycards in hand, we picked up our bags and headed upstairs.
Yawn after yawn dripped off my lips and when Beau pushed open the door,
I headed straight for one of the beds in the middle of the large room.
 “Cozy?” he asked, dropping his large duffel on the bed.
I mumbled and pressed my head into the soft pillow. I could have fallen
asleep hanging halfway off the bed, but the tightness from my boots would
have made it impossible. I lifted, and my eyes landed on Beau’s hard bare
chest. I cut my gaze to the TV, but he didn’t cut his.
He walked over to my bed, and set my duffel next to me. “Kitten?”
Why did that word make me tingle so much? I ignored his call, too shy
to look at his chest. He moved in closer, a grin playing on the edge of his
lips. I squirmed when he pressed his forehead into mine, and tried to turn
away.
“Get ready for bed. I’m going to hit the shower. Do you have everything
you need?”
I nodded and kicked up my boots to unlace them. Once he closed the
door to the bathroom, I changed, used the half bathroom to brush my teeth
and climbed into bed. Eager to text Josi, I grabbed my phone and had a
string of missed text from her.
 14
BEAU

I t would have been nice if the sun woke me up, but I was up long before
it peered from around the moon. Audrey slept like a baby, tangled in the
soft sheets with her hair a wild mess. Her eyes fluttered, lips moving
every so often with soft whimpers. I watched her sleep all night, only
dozing off for a few hours at a time before waking back up.
Between my thoughts and the bright light from the damn lamp sitting on
a table between our beds, sleep wasn’t in the cards for me. I made a mental
note to find her a soft glow nightlight before we pulled in for the next night.
Slicing my gaze down to my phone, I flicked away the alarm notification
before it blasted off and woke her up.
The squeaky noise of a cart in the hall had me getting out of bed
jonesing for a smoke and a strong cup of joe. Pulling on a fresh pair of jeans
and a clean shirt, I stepped near the door and picked up the paper lying on
the floor. I scanned the bill and then tossed it in the trash.
A soft knock followed, and I opened the door. A hotel worker held up
the garments from the rushed dry cleaning job I inquired about last night.
Riding on the bike meant keeping my duffel light, and this was the last and
only night that we would be in a hotel that had the dry cleaning amenities,
so I took advantage.
I tossed the bag on the bed, unzipped it, and rolled the items up before
placing them in my duffel. Underneath my two pairs of jeans and shirts
were Audrey’s shorts and the t-shirt she wore yesterday. Wearing a few
days old clothes didn’t bother me, but I was certain she would put up a fight
if she ran out of clean clothes before we reached California. The time on the
clock sitting near her bed read 6:05 a.m. We had a long drive ahead of us
today but letting her sleep a little longer wouldn’t hurt.
I packed up all my things and placed them on the bed. Frigid air kissed
my skin when I stepped out into the hallway. Heading straight for the
elevators, I rounded the corner to the elevator doors, peeled back. Feeling
around in my back pocket for my smokes, I pulled out the deformed pack
and pinched one between my lips. The elevator dinged, and I stepped out
into silence.
Besides the clacking of a keyboard at the front desk, not a soul stirred.
The doors slid open when I approached and I raised my chin to the sky as I
took in the dewy air. This time of the morning was perfect. It wasn’t too
hot, and you could actually breathe. A wooden bench just right outside the
doors called my name, and I took a seat, then flicked back the lighter.
Pretending to not see the “DO NOT SMOKE WITHIN 50 FEET FROM
THIS SIGN. I blew out the smoke and closed my eyes, then my phone
buzzed.
“Yeah?” I asked, balancing the phone between my shoulder and ear.
“Up early? Must be having a smoke, nursing the bottle or trying to get a
woman out of your bed,” Finn joked.
“How about none of those? I’m taking a morning walk,” I lied.
He paused, and I waited.
“Whatever. You can blow smoke up my ass if you want.”
A soft laugh dripped off my lips, and I inhaled, the smoke burning the
back of my throat before I let it out.
I switched the phone from my right side to my left and stood. “At the
shop?”
Finn grumbled. Miserable bastard. “Some prick is giving me hell about
his bike performance, but the dumbass straight piped it.”
“Not on a Harley he didn’t,” I said, taking another drag of my smoke.
We both gave the side eye to fuckers who bought knockoff cruisers and
then straightened the pipes to make them louder. Then there were the guys
who touted ‘loud pipes save lives’ when, in reality, their pipes just pissed
people off and startled drivers more than anything. That’s why I loved
Harleys. Their purr was smooth, and over time, they formed a unique tick,
but it wasn’t a nuance.
“Some Honda bullshit.”
 I licked my lips and dropped my cig to the ground before smashing it
out with the toe of my boot. “Did you forget, the cool kids ride those”
“Fuck being cool. Anyone who knows anything about bikes should
know better,” he spouted off.
He started down his long drawn out lecture about Harleys, bikes and
other shit before finally cooling off. I let him air it out, because his passion
for riding ran deeper than the oil that flowed through the engine. A moment
of silence passed before he let out a breath.
“So, how’s it going with…”
“Audrey,” I said, finishing his sentence.
A pinched laugh seeped through the phone. “I didn’t forget her name.”
“Now you're blowing smoke up my ass.” I walked toward the edge of
the hotel circle, hands deep inside the pockets of my jeans.
“How could I ever forget the name of my niece when it’s tattooed across
your heart?”
Hearing him say those words had a bigger effect on me now than when
the needle broke my skin, carving her name out. I remembered the day I got
that tattoo. It was the day she was born. A tiny, precious breathing human
who had the entire world waiting for her. Gulping down the lump in my
throat at the memory, I reached inside my back pocket.
“Go eat some breakfast before you pull out another cig.”
Like he was reading my mind. I shook my head and shoved the packet
back down into my pocket.
“It’s not a good day unless Finn is telling me what the fuck to do,” I
joked. “The trip is going fine, by the way. We’re actually getting ready to
get back on the road.”
“Oh yeah? Good to hear it. According to Al, you were throwing a shit
fit because she wanted to tag along.”
“Remind me to strangle you the next time I see you,” I said, heading
back toward the entrance.
“Noted.”
We both laughed at our nonsense and then the call ended. It didn’t seem
like it, but an hour had come and gone. Bodies idled in the lobby, and a
small line formed in front of the checkout desk. My stomach rumbled, a
gentle reminder it needed food. I snatched two pieces of fruit out of a basket
as I passed by the desk and headed back upstairs.
“Can we get breakfast?” she asked, filling up her insulated water bottle with
ice and water from the machine in the hallway.
I walked up behind her, gently placing my chin on top of her bed of soft
tresses. Trying to wake her up this morning wasn’t an easy task. Fuck sake,
the girl could sleep.
“Yeah, yeah. We’ll feed that belly of yours,” I said, pressing my bottle
underneath the sprout.
We filled up our bottles, headed downstairs, and loaded our bags onto
the bike. Clear skies and a slightly cool breeze greeted us when we stepped
outside and after yesterday’s storm and muggy weather, it was a nice
change.
We kept breakfast simple and opted for a chain pancake house. I
promised her it wouldn’t end in an eating competition this time, and it was
like a small boulder lifted off her shoulders. After an hour, a stack of
pancakes and fluffy eggs, we were damn near wobbling to the door. But
that’s what I loved about my baby girl. She didn’t shy away from food, no
matter how odd it seemed.
“Ready?” I handed her the helmet and swung one leg over the bike.
The clasp of the straps cued me to fire her up, and she hopped on.
“Where are we headed?”
“Texas, but first we need to make a stop.”
“Where?” she asked, her chin resting on my right shoulder. Arms tight
around my waist.
“You’ll see. Just hang on tight.”
A cute little giggle seeped into my ears and damn, did it warm my heart.
Where we were headed was an hour away. Traffic was good, with little to
no stalls. Just how I liked it. In the blink of an eye, I was pulling off the
highway and following the signs to our destination.
“Caverns?” she shouted in my ear.
Her brown eyes lit up like saucers as we approached the parking lot.
Rows of cars, trailers and buses littered the parking lot, and I wondered
where the hell did all these people come from at 9:00 a.m. She jumped off
the bike, helmet still on, and approached the large wooden sign a few feet
away. I followed, eyeing her excitement, and lead her to the entrance.
 We signed our waivers, paid our fees and got in line to get our helmets.
I wasn’t excited to look at a hundred-year-old rock, but Audrey’s bubbly
personality rubbed off on me. We joined a group of six other people and
moved to the entrance of the cave. Audrey’s big brown eyes looked around,
a bit of worry skipping across her face.
“You’ll be fine kitten.” I whispered into her ear.
“You always say that.”
I leaned in and let my lips brush against her ear. “Because Daddy’s
always right.”
The words pushed past my lips before I could stop them from falling
off. Too late to take it back, I held steady. A few seconds passed, and she
didn’t give me any weird looks or twirl on her heels to ask me what the fuck
I just said. The tour guide approached and introduced himself. I blew out a
breath, thankful for the sudden distraction. Daddy? Fuck, what is wrong
with me?
We started, trading marble tile for the uneven terrain of the caves.
Everyone looked in awe at the formations, the colors, and the height. It
really was magnificent, but I found my eyes wandering back to Audrey
every time. Whenever she gasped, halted in her tracks, or just admired the
views in front of her, my eyes never tore from her. We made our way
through, and she wrestled with the construction helmet just as much as she
did the motorcycle one. Her thick curls were a force to be reckoned with
when it came to headgear.
“Isn’t it amazing?” she asked, her voice low and soft.
I stopped behind her and breathed her in. “It is.”
We continued our trek, and I stayed close to her. The terrain below our
feet shifted, and Audrey let out a yelp. I grabbed her before she plummeted
to the ground, one hand on her arm and the other firmly on her left tit. Let
go before she notices.
I didn’t let go. Once she found her footing, she straightened and fixed
the construction helmet. Yet my hand stayed glued to her shirt in a spot I
had no business touching. Her nipple hardened under her bra; the bud now
swollen below my fingers. My cock took notice, and I closed my eyes for a
moment, wishing it would go away because I couldn’t let those thoughts
take over my brain.
“I thought you said this was safe?” She looked down at her boots and
paid no attention to where my hands were.
 I slowly loosened my grip. “It is safe. You’re just clumsy.”
Her brows knitted as a shit eating grin spread across my face and we
continued the tour. By the time we reached the end, my cock had calmed
down, and I let her pick out a small item from the gift shop. I didn’t need to
look at another cave for as long as I lived, but the happiness on Audrey’s
cute little face made this detour worth it. I wondered how someone who
essentially had everything had so much to see. Graham had a jet, money
and time, yet he kept Audrey confined to the walls of boarding schools and
his house.
“I like it,” She said, holding up a little keychain with a tiny cave on the
end.
“Ge it, kitten.”
Her brown eyes sparkled with excitement, “I’m going to get one for Josi
Bear too.”
We checked out, and Audrey dangled the small brown bag in front of
me as she walked toward the exit.
I lifted a brow. “Keep doing that and you’re gonna fall on your face.”
She pouted, twirled around, and my hand smacked her behind in a
scolding manner. Fuck, I need to keep my hands to myself.

Back on the road, we were making good time, and I was happy that she
didn’t ask to stop multiple times just to give her ass a rest. This was the
longest leg of our trip, and we still had twelve more hours to go, but her
bladder could only go so far. A large sign for a gas station appeared in the
distance and I veered off onto the exit ramp.
“Can we?” she asked, her fingers pointing at the rustic sign of an old
vintage thrift store conjoined to the gas station.
I looked down at my watch, and then back at her. Her eyes were big and
curious, and I nodded. She rushed inside, and I turned to double check the
bike. We pulled over for a restroom break, and it was just her luck that it
was next door. I followed her inside, hating myself for locking my gaze on
her ass. She reminded me of a plump pear, juicy and ripe in all the right
places.
 Before the door could close all the way, I grabbed the handle and
stepped in after her. Scents of potpourri, wood, and dust smacked me in the
face. With each step I took, the wooden floor creaked below my feet,
tittering between an annoying squeak and groan. On the hunt for my kitten,
who disappeared down one of the long aisles, I bumped into a shelf, but
quickly stilled my movements before the display of rustic vases fell to the
floor. Continuing my search, I found her at the end of an aisle, her fingers
gently tangled in a sea of knickknacks.
“Struck gold?”
Her eyes sparkled with interest and she continued to let her fingers
brush past the many objects in front of her. I took this moment to take her in
once more. Fuck, she was a beauty. Her hands continued to roam, eyes
searching for something that piqued her interest. She grabbed a few trinkets
as we walked through. A black stone caught her attention, and she added it
to her collection, along with a gently used small leather bound journal.
Leaving one aisle, we headed down another and she slowed, turning her
attention to the shelf of old cameras.
“If you had one of these back in the day, you were the cool kid,” I said,
picking up a vintage Polaroid 600C.
Her brows snapped together as she scrutinized the ice-age technology in
my hand.
“That old thing? Looks weird.” She grabbed it out of my hand, and let
her fingers roam the device.
I leaned into her and placed my hands over her dainty little fingers. “I
was the fucking shit with this kitten. My C600, thick glasses and braces.”
She whipped her head around, suspicion in her brown eyes, “Liar.”
A thump sounded on the shelf when she put it back, and she started
down a new aisle. Pretending like I cared about the rustic oil paintings in
the next isle I waited until she checked out before heading up to front. Lost
in the world of her new found items, I slid the item on the counter, paid and
had the clerk stuff it in a brown paper bag with a few sheets of folded
newspaper.
“What’s that?” I asked, one hand behind my back.
She didn’t turn around, her attention glued to the black stone as she
peered up at the blazing sun. “An obsidian stone.”
Moving in a swift motion, I tucked the item into the side satchel of the
bike and swung one leg over. Leaning on the handles of my bike, I let my
gaze wonder back to hers, noting the light hints of color in her brown hair
as the sun bathed her delicate skin. When she lowered the stone, I tore my
eyes away, just in time to let the thoughts swimming in my head turn to
dust. There was no place for them, not in my head and not in my heart.
“Ready when you are,” I called out before firing up the engine.
She tucked her things away and climbed on. Then we were off.
 15
AUDREY

JOSI BEAR
Where are you now?
AUDREY
Amarillo, TX
JOSI BEAR
OMG. It’s 9:45 p.m.! Did you do it?
AUDREY
No… Ugh. This sucks.
JOSI BEAR
It could be worse. At least you somewhat had a kiss
AUDREY
Not even. That wasn’t a kiss. It was an assault on my mouth.
Why is it so hard for me?
JOSI BEAR
It’s hard for me too.
AUDREY
Not even. He’s coming back out. I’ll text you later.
JOSI BEAR
K! I’ll call you at midnight and wish you the best bday ever! Lv
you!
AUDREY
*heart emoji*
pulled my stupid list out and looked it over, then balled it up and shoved it
back into my purse. Stupid list. Maybe it was fate or meant to be. Maybe I

I wasn’t supposed to be the girl who kissed a boy or had a boyfriend or

fell in love. Maybe I wasn’t meant to experience any of that.
“Checked us in. You got your bags?”
Beau approached, his eyes glued to his phone with my helmet under one
arm. When he told me this morning to enjoy the city hotel we stayed at, he
really meant it. Here we were at 9:50 p.m. at night in the middle of
nowhere, USA, with nothing but miles of open dusty road between us. The
sun set a little later out this far, but once the sky darkened, it was hard to
drive, and creepy.
“Yup,” I said, grabbing my duffel with both hands.
We had pulled off the road at the next hotel, and food sign we saw and
parked it for the night. The small town was vibrant, or at least the part
where we were was. Lights spanned a few blocks, with the tiki motel, a
large gas station, and some sort of bar being the main attractions.
The motel reminded me of something out of an 80’s movie, except it
was free of men with Mohawks, tight jeans, and horrible plaid tops. We
climbed the one flight of stairs to the second level and walked to the end.
Light chatter seeped up to the balcony from below and I caught sight of a
pinkish florescent light behind a row of fake palm trees.
“Wanna dip, kitten?”
“Maybe?”
Beau let a slow grin spread across his face as he eyed me before
opening the door. He stepped inside, but left the door open. I scanned the
rippling water below. The sound of his deep timbre voice calling my name
stole my attention, and I entered the room. Shocked that it wasn’t as bad as
I imagined, I bit back a smile and pulled out my phone to take a photo.
“What’s that for?”
“Josi. She said the motel room would be like something out of the
movie Blow, but I’m just proving her wrong.”
“Blow? What the fuck do you know about Blow?”
“I watch movies.”
He stalked toward me, coming right into my bubble and popping it.
“You didn’t know what Toy Story was, but you know who Johnny Depp
is?”
 I shrugged and opened my bag, forcing myself not to stare at the tall
beast pressing into my side as I chewed the inside of my cheek.
“Ah, you have a type. Don’t you?”
I snapped my head in his direction. “I don’t. I never even had a
boyfriend. How can I have a type?” Liar liar pants on fire.
He grumbled, his chest creating a deep sound. The bed dipped when he
lowered, and he kept his gaze locked on mine.
“What?” I folded my arms across my chest.
He mirrored my action. “Nothing baby girl. You hungry?”
“Not really. I’ll rather just crawl into bed, pop some champagne and
watch some trash TV or something.”
Before I could rummage through my bag and grab my pjs, his arm
latched on to mine and he pulled me between his legs, his hands tight
around my waist. I let my arms drop to my side as my fingers rested on his
arm. The protruding veins running under his skin reminded me of a never-
ending highway.
“Well, as nice as that sounds, you’ll be hard pressed to find any
champagne around these parts, darling.” He pulled me in until our
foreheads touched and relayed one of his dreamy smirks. “Why so down,
kitten? You’ve been sluggish since we left Missouri.”
I gave a half shrug, my eyes focusing on his lap, and not on his hazel
eyes. The harder I tried to ignore him, the more attention he gave, and a
yelp slipped off my tongue as he pulled me down onto his chest before
rolling over. He propped his tree trunk like arm on its elbow while the other
hovered above me as he stroked my cheek. If he was waiting for me to tell
him my juvenile worries, I refrained, and flattened my back on the bed to
stare up at the popcorn ceiling.
“Come on, let’s get food before everything closes. Can’t have the
birthday girl starving.”
“It’s not my birthday yet,” I joked, kicking up my feet.
“It will be in like, two hours,” he said, jogging his brows up and down.
“You remembered?”
He rose from the bed and stood in front of me. His height was like a
never ending skyscraper. Unsure of what he was going to do, I sat up and he
grabbed my wrist. He pulled me into his chest, his leather scent snaking
around my lungs.
“Kitten?” he asked, his finger raising my chin.
 “Hmm?” I sliced my gaze to the wall.
“Don’t ever mistake my absence for lack of memory.”
My heart thieved an extra few beats as a cloak of silence draped over us,
then the sound of my phone vibrating snatched it away. He dropped his
finger from my face and stalked back toward the door. We headed down the
steps, my flip-flops slapping the worn wood with each step I took. I was
happy to switch out of my boots and put on something less constricting.
The Texas breeze was humid, and felt just as worse than a Midwest
summer. We didn’t need to walk far for food, maybe a few blocks. Our
stroll was steeped in silence, but my mind was a runaway train. So many
questions bubbled over, like why he never sent me a birthday card or why
he never came around to see me.
As we walked, I looked to the ground, avoiding cherry-sized rocks that
were no match for my thin-soled flip-flops. Josi texted again, sending hearts
and a countdown. One hour and forty-five minutes to go before the clock
struck midnight. We passed a group of rowdy guys who looked about my
age and I stopped. As if fate was giving me one more chance, I turned to
face Beau and he blew out his cigarette smoke.
“What’s in there?” he asked.
I looked up at the sign. “Tacos, Wings, Guns and Girls.”
He sported that dashing smile and flicked his cigarette to the ground.
“Whatever you want, baby girl,” he said, stepping closer to me.
We entered and the deep timbre of country music vibrated my entire
body. For being in the middle of nowhere, the place was packed. A woman
with blond hair and larger than life breasts greeted us. We followed her to a
table, and she set down a pitcher of water. Beau kept his eyes on me as I
scanned the menu, reading me like an open book. Then his brow arched
when I closed it shut, and eyed the arcade room near the back.
“Can you order for us? I’m going to go over there.”
“Mmmhmm…” he mumbled as he reached for the menu.
I smiled, and he turned in the direction of my gaze, eyeing the room full
of arcade games and boys.
He pulled a five dollar bill from his wallet. “Twenty minutes. Don’t
make me come get you.”
I rolled my eyes and snatched the money out of his tight grip. “Be a
good girl,” he called out over the loud music as I inched farther away from
him. Stepping inside the hidden arcade room was like another dimension
and the blasting sound of country music died as I walked farther inside. The
room was dim, with only the lights from the games giving the space light.
I spotted the token machine and slid the five dollar bill inside. As if I
struck gold, a mountain of plastic small gold tokens piled up in the small
bowl and I scooped them out. I scanned the room, and locked eyes with
soft, dark ones.
This was it. My chance to have my kiss. Don’t mess it up Audrey. Trying
my best to do a casual stroll across the floor, his dark eyes followed me and
I stopped at the machine next to him. Looking over the bright thick fonts
and the pinball course, it made sense why this place was called guns and
girls. Two animated half naked girls hung off the machine, cowboy hats on
their heads and guns in their hands.
“City girl,” he said, coming in closer.
“Is that a question?” I asked, pulling one token out of the small bag.
“A statement, and you’re gonna need five tokens.”
He had a low voice, but not deep, not like Beaus’. Raven black hair sat
on top of his head in a neat form, and I eyed his crocked nose and lean
frame. I searched the machine to find the coin slot, unaware that he moved
from my side and now stood behind me.
“There,” he said, and moved my hand.
“T-thanks,” I said, fumbling my words.
I put them in one by one, his eyes pressed on me the entire time. The
machine lit up, an animated female voice coming to life.
“You ever play one of these?” He tapped the machine.
“No.”
He leaned in and I got a whiff of his breath, which smelled like leftover
food and something else. It didn’t smell bad, but it didn’t smell great either.
Audrey stop it. He placed my hands on the side of the machine and pulled
the lever out before letting it snap back in place. The maze below the glass
came to life, and he kept his hands glued to mind. Once I got the hang of it,
his hands wandered away from my mine and found their place on my waist.
“You wanna get out of here?”
I froze, and then the game ended. “I-I can’t leave. I’m waiting for—”
“Not leave. Just over there,” he said, cutting me off.
He pointed to a dark corridor and grabbed my wrist before I could
change my mind. He pulled me through the small crowd of young guys
hovering around a machine, pulling me into the darkness of the quiet
hallway. Come on, Audrey, this is what you want. A hot kiss before your
eighteenth birthday.
It seemed quieter in this small space. He stopped, and then spun me
around until my back slammed into the wall. I tried to ignore the wetness I
felt running down my back, and focus on the guy who was now spreading
my legs apart with his knee.
“Um…”
His lips brushed the side of cheek. “I don’t normally go for the fat girls,
but your tits are sweet.”
My movements came to a fast halt, my mouth slowing parting as I eyed
him. A smirk grazed his lips, and I wanted to smack it off. With his hands
still on my waist, I pressed forward, trying to drive the point home that I
wanted him off of me, but his stance became rock solid.
“Don’t fight it, you know you want it. All you fat bitches do.”
A sting formed in the corner of my eyes as he forced his left forearm on
my throat to prevent me from moving. Then, one by one, warm tears
skipped down my cheeks. My body shivered when he touched me, the
roughness of his calloused fingers grazing my stomach as he inched closer
to my breasts.
He teased my lips with his, brushing against them slightly but not
locking with mine. I pinched my lids tight, refusing to look into his dark
gaze. A large lump of regret and fear settled in my throat as he touched me,
and my stomach coiled at the unwanted sensation. I thought he was going to
go all the way, but then the pressure keeping me frozen in place lifted. Beau
stood there, a fire of a million coals burning in his gaze.
The guy dangled in his grasp, struggling to breathe as Beau’s large
hands wrapped around his throat. The guy’s words bubbled over and a pool
of drool seeped from the corners of his mouth. Beau didn’t say a word, not
to me and not to the guy. The guy struggled to breathe, and broken curse
words foamed out of his mouth.
Beau turned to face him. “Do girls find you hot?”
The fire in his voice made me press into the wall. The guy couldn’t
answer, and I wasn’t sure if Beau even cared. I hugged myself, unsure what
Beau was going to do next, and then a scream left my body. I covered my
eyes, not wanting to witness Beau smashing the guy’s face into the stone
wall. I didn’t know why, but more tears streamed down my face as the
sound of bones breaking beneath skin filled the space.
 The guy’s near lifeless body dropped to the ground, his face almost
unrecognizable. Beau added one more ounce of insult to injury with a swift
and hard kick to his core. The guy’s ominous cry fell on deaf ears and Beau
repeated the actions, the sound of the music drowning out his pleas. Beau's
eyes fixated on mine, softening slowly as I witnessed the pain and
disappointment that stirred behind them. He stalked forward, his large paws
covering the warmth of my cheeks.
“I-I’m sorry,” I whispered, embarrassment seizing me as the words fell
off my lips.
“Why?” he asked, the words cutting through the thickness in the air.
I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t say anything because the reason was so
stupid and childish, yet weighed so much.
He reached behind and held the folded pink paper in the air. “Because
of this?” Balling his fist around the paper, it shrank to nothing and he let it
drop to the ground. “No one touches you. Ever. Do you understand?”
I nodded and slid my bottom lip between my teeth as I sliced my eyes to
the guy on the ground. Blood trickled out of his mouth and nose, pooling
around his head as it seeped down. He wasn’t dead, just exhausted from
being beaten near to death. Beau took a step back and wiped his mouth as
he turned to walk away. But then stopped in his tracks. I lifted my back
from the wall, curious to why he paused, and then he found my gaze.
Pain still lingered in his hazel irises, but the current of my pulse faltered
when a glint of carnal and possessiveness revealed itself. Then the air in my
lungs evaporated when his lips latched onto mine. Was it fate? Maybe
because my phone went off like fireworks in my back pocket. The
countdown ended, which only meant one thing. I was officially eighteen.
 16
BEAU

F uck, why did it feel so perfect? Why did it feel so right? It was wrong,
so fucking wrong, but I couldn’t stop. Just as she breathed again, I
inhaled, taking more of her with me as I deepened our kiss. Nothing
else mattered at this moment. Just her. Only her. I wasn’t a fool, and I knew
exactly why she ended up this situation, but I refused to let that asshole
bleeding out on the ground be the standing memory of this place, so I kissed
her.
I wasn’t expecting her to tear the breath from my lungs, for my heart to
glitch and for me to re-question every single fucking love interest in my life
and why it didn’t work out. Tearing my lips apart from hers only made this
whole thing worse, because the softness of her lips, and the warmth of her
embrace was replaced with a sharp thorn through my chest, a vivid
reminder that reality was waiting for us just outside these walls.
“Let’s go. It’s late and we need to be on the road early tomorrow
morning.”
I dropped my hands from her face, and placed my back to her front so
she couldn’t witness my eyes closing shut as I ran my tongue between my
lips. I savored it, fuck, I savored her, and fought with myself the entire time
as I walked back to our table. She followed behind, then scanned the
baskets full of wings and fries. The waitress left to go cartons, and I tossed
the food inside of them. We left, food in hand, but the short walk back to
the motel would be anything but. What do I say? I had no idea, no fucking
idea.
I remained silent as we walked back, keeping my eyes straight ahead,
and my stroll smooth like an expensive bottle of dark liquor. But it wasn’t
enough. My mouth dried, and that horrible ache formed, the kind that urged
you to pull a cig from your pocket and light it up. I couldn’t even fucking
smoke because the kiss had my nerves shot. My hands trembled slightly,
aching to be placed back on her face, soothing her as she looked into my
eyes.
She walked a few feet behind me, and I didn’t dare look back. The
purplish lights from the tiki motel came into view, and I’ve never been
happier to see a shitty motel sign in my life. Powering up the steps, I
opened the door, and left it ajar for her to enter. I tossed the food into the
mini fridge and snatched a bottle of cool water before shutting it with my
boot.
“I’m gonna go for a walk. It won’t—”
“Why did you kiss me?”
She spoke, her words laced with urgency. Because I’m a madman.
Because I’ve secretly been wanting to kiss you since I laid eyes on you at
the Purple Rabbit. I bowed my head, unable to look her in the eyes. She
stood there, big brown eyes full of curiosity and pain. Her words made my
throat plug with emotion and it was like swallowing down a sharp, jagged
edge rock.
I ran a hand through my hair, the silver rings on my fingers catching on
the thick and now greasy strands. “Impulse.” I let out a breath. “Just
impulse.”
I continued to stalk forward, eyes on the ground, feet headed toward the
door, and then her words suspended me in my tracks.
“Or because you feel sorry for me”. That’s what she said. Those were
the words that ran a slow trail between her lips and tainted the air. I refused
to acknowledge them, and continued toward the door, placing one hand on
the knob before walking through and closing it behind me.
I had so much to say. I wanted to tell her I didn’t kiss her because I felt
sorry for her, but because I needed to show her that any man who laid a
hand on her would be sorry. However, I knew deep down that those
wouldn’t have been the only words to spill. Over the years, I learned that
buried emotions and feelings always came to the surface, latching on to the
carefully curated lies you repeated over and over in your head, only for
them to be turned upside down with the truth.
Forty minutes later, I returned to an empty room. Her colorful duffel was
wide open on the bed with a small pile of clothing lying next to it. Running
my hands over the soft fabrics, a clear sticker with the words “do not
remove until purchased” in bold black letters stuck to my fingers. I pulled it
off and folded it in half. It was a swimsuit crotch sticker, and a calmness fell
over me as I relaxed, knowing she was just a few feet away.The summer air
in Texas was hot, humid and made you sweat the moment you stepped
outside. A dip in the cool pool sounded like a good idea, and nothing put
my muscles at ease, like cool rivulets of water swimming over them.
I didn’t pack swim trunks, so my boxers would have to do. I pulled off
my shirt, toed out of my boots and walked the short distance to the back of
the motel, where I spotted my kitten. The weight of the world sat on her
shoulders as she stared at the clear water, her legs kicking aimlessly in a
slow, steady motion. With my eyes focused on her, I didn’t see the brick
sticking out amongst the fake bushes, and a string of curse words flowed off
my lips.
My outburst gained her attention, and I held her gaze, stepping closer
until I reached one of the empty pool chairs. Unspoken words danced on
her lips. I could tell by the inquisitive stare in her eye, but she remained
silent. Her eyes followed the movements of my hands as I unclasped my
belt. I let my jeans fall, and then stepped out of them, all while holding her
gaze. Even with a cloak of silence dancing between us, the wall she built to
conceal her emotions was transparent to me, and the longer I tethered my
gaze to hers the weaker I became. I drifted away from her, stopping at the
edge on the other end of the pool. It was deep all the way around, which
was impractical and dangerous.
On the silent count of three, I dove in, the cool water gliding over my
hot skin. The distance between us ended with three long strokes, and I
surfaced, inches from her. Fuck, she was beautiful in every single way. She
had soft rolls, the kind that you could get lost in, and dimpled thighs. She
sat right in the stream of light that coated the pool a violet hue. My eyes fell
on her cute pink polka-dot bikini that struggled to conceal the lower half of
her belly and her juicy tits.
“Did you walk?” She asked, her voice timid.
“I did. But if I’m being honest, it wasn’t that enjoyable.” I let a sheepish
grin spread across my lips.
 Just as I hoped, she mirrored it, but only for a second, before it thinned
out, disappearing into the depths of hell. I treaded water to prevent from
gliding farther away, but she pressed her foot to my chest, creating
distance.
“That’s not going to work,” I said, grabbing on to the soft skin of her
leg. “No obstacle can keep you from me.” I dove and resurfaced between
her thick honey thighs. They fit around me perfectly.
“Oh, so I guess obstacles were a problem for the past thirteen years or,
well, I guess, fourteen years?”
I’ll let her have it. She was frustrated, hurt, shocked, and probably still
hated me just a little for being a shitty dad. I had a hunch to tell her right
now that I’ve always been there. Hiding in the shadows like a criminal,
watching from afar. Between her feelings, the events that took place
tonight, and all my secrets, maybe this was the perfect time to tell all. It
sure as hell would take both our minds off the elephant in the room.
I gave her a look. “Let it out, baby girl. Like I said, you’re the only who
can throw daggers at me.”
“When I asked you why you kissed me, why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because…” I let my body sink below the surface, and then reappeared,
my torso secure between her legs, and my arms firm around her soft doughy
waist. “I’ve been wanting to fucking kiss you since you walked into The
Purple Rabbit and I shouldn’t want that. I shouldn’t want you.”
I pressed my forehead to hers, closing my eyes as the disappointment
and shame rolled off me in waves. But the guilt that consumed me from
within didn’t consume her one bit, and this time, she stole my lips, my
breath, and my fucking heart once again. Torn between anger and fear, I
didn’t pull away. Torn between wanting more of her, and wanting to push
her as far away as possible, I still didn’t pull away.
With my arms wrapped around her in a python grip, I tugged her off the
edge and she wrapped her legs around me, holding on for dear life.
“Kitten…” My words trailed off, evaporating into the sticky summer air.
I started to let her go, and then she panicked.
“I-I can’t swim.” She said, pressing into me.
“What? No? Don’t you have a pool at that big ass house you live in?”
“Yeah, but I don’t use it. Except for the four-foot side. I never learned
how to swim, and Graham got so fed up with—”
“Shh. It’s okay. It’s okay, I got you, baby. I promise I won’t let you go.”
 She had a hunch to remind me once more that I never kept promises, but
she just gave a half smile. I hoisted her up, her tits coming right into my
face, and her arms settled around my neck.
“So you can’t drive, and you can’t swim. Guess I got my work cut out
for me, huh?”
A small giggle dripped off her lips, and it was like music to my ears. We
had another long day ahead of us and the thought of her going to bed with a
heavy chest was something I didn’t want. Floating back to the edge, I set
her down, looked in her eyes, and made false promises to her, in the hopes
that one day she would understand just how fucked this whole situation
was.
 17
AUDREY

H i, my name is Audrey Black. I made out with my dad and liked it a

lot. Two failed attempts at my first kiss, and my dad, the man who
was my flesh and blood, snatched the air out of my lungs and sent
me into a spiral. As I looked at the small waves of water reflecting off the
purple lights, I thought about how much I enjoyed being kissed, and how I
wanted to be kissed more, by him. I wasn’t thinking when I kissed him back
just a few minutes ago. I just reacted. My body just wanted him.
With my arms wrapped around him, I let the memories of tonight flash
through my mind, and fought back a tiny wave of tears. I didn’t know what
this meant. I couldn’t dissect the feelings running through me because I’ve
never felt these things before and it scared me. Worst of all, I couldn’t call
the one person who’s been waiting all year for this to happen. I couldn’t call
Josi and spill the beans because the thought of telling her what happened
tonight made my chest tighten with fear.
Beau placed a soft kiss on my cheek and pulled me away from his
embrace. He raised a brow as he sliced his eyes away from me, and I looked
down, in shock and horror, that my bikini top rose all the way up. So I was
leaning into my dad’s bare chest topless.
“Oops,” I said, pulling the cups down back over my breasts.
He scratched the edge of his beard, something I noticed he did when he
was nervous, lost for words, or thinking. He climbed out of the pool, the
water dripping off him like a leaky faucet and headed toward the chair
where his jeans lay. I took a moment to stare as I toweled off, focusing on
the large cucumber-shaped outline. His boxers were stuck to his legs, ass,
and dick. He caught me looking, and another sheepish grin spread across
his face. Not bothering to put his jeans back on, he folded them up and
reached out his hand for me to take.
We headed back to the room, and the chilled air from the AC swept over
my skin, causing an army of goosebumps to break out. Too tired to hop in
the shower, I pulled back the covers and crawled into bed. I melted into the
semi comfortable mattress, and dropped my head onto the pillow, the left
side of my face squished against the softness. I followed Beau's movements
as he strutted across the room, my gaze still planted on the front of his
boxers.
“Hey smelly.”
“I’m not…” I whined, my words muffled.
He came over, picked up my duffel and set it on the edge of my bed.
“You will be if you don’t take off that swimsuit.”
I begrudgingly sat up, regretting getting under the covers, because now
the sheets were a little damp. He shuffled through my clothes on the hunt to
find a loose shirt, but ended up with his fingers tangled in my bras and
panties instead. Keeping a straight face, he spotted my Lilo and Stich night
shirt and tossed it my way. Giving into my laziness, I stayed planted and
unclasped my bikini top. My nipples hardened from the cool air, and I
pulled my shirt over my unruly curls.
“What?” I asked, removing my bottoms.
He shook his head, eyes down. “Nothing. Go to bed, kitten, it’s late. I
let you stay up longer than I wanted.”
I shot up. “But I’m eighteen now. I officially have no bedtime,” I
protested, chin tipped toward the ceiling to stare into his hazel eyes.
“Mmmhmm, we’ll see about that.” He leaned over and pressed me back
down into the bed.
He looked so different damp. His hair seemed darker, and his irises
tiptoed between a toffee and a dark cocoa. Tracing a thumb down my cheek,
he reached over and killed the light next to my bed. Maybe he thought
doing so would aid in my eyes becoming heavy, but I was wide awake, my
thoughts running wild and my gaze glued to his body.
He turned off the other light, and the room darkened, then a soft warm
hue lit up the wall. A small nightlight in the shape of an egg cast a glow
bright enough for me to see Beau move in the darkness. My eyes slowly
adjusted, and every second that passed afforded me a better look at him. He
was hot, no doubt about that, and I made a personal bet with myself that if
we were the same age, he definitely wouldn’t have been the guy to choose
me.
Tall like a giant redwood, with inked carved into almost every single
inch of his skin. He reminded me of a lumberjack with abs made of steel. I
shifted, drifting further underneath the covers as I listened to him shower,
brush his teeth and sing the lyrics to some country songs. It was terrible, but
I snickered in silence.
My eyes fought to stay open, and I would have succumbed to the
tiredness that took over my body, but then the bathroom door opened, and
he walked out. Naked.
I clenched my eyes shut like an idiot, and then slowly opened them. The
cover blocked half of my face while my curls fell into my eyes, but even
with the obstacles, I saw it clear as day. His gaze was bound to his phone,
and the stream of light pouring out of the bathroom created a path right to
his dick. It was hard and thick, with veins that spiraled from the base to the
tip.
A small trickle of alkaline seeped onto my tongue as I chewed the inside
of my cheek aimlessly. Josi teased me daily because I never saw a dick up
close and personal, and the few I did see were on a screen.
He grabbed a small leather toiletry bag from his duffel and sauntered
back into the bathroom, ending my little peep show. But he didn’t close the
door all the way. A crack wide enough to see inside teased me. Silence fell
over the room, and then he breathed. Not a normal breath though, the kind
that swelled the lungs on inhale, and sounded strangled when released. I got
up, careful to not make a sound, and stopped outside the door. His back was
to the door, but diagonal. He had one hand on the wall, and the other
wrapped around his monster dick.
His low grunts, and rasped breathing mollified with the whooshing
sound that was made every time his fist moved from base to tip. My flesh
tingled at the sight, a needy feeling zapping me right between my legs as I
stared at his rapid hand movements. I squeezed my legs shut to cut off the
feeling, but the heat curling down my spine seemed stronger than my will.
His breath quickened, like a razor sawing over teeth as he pumped with
no remorse. The hand glued to the wall formed into a fist, the knuckles now
white as snow. Barring the guttural moan that fought to break past his lips,
he sucked in a long breath and released a thick iridescent stream onto the
bathroom floor.
 He moved from one side of the bathroom to the other and I strained my
eyes to follow, only to lose my balance and let out a tiny squeak. My heart
dropped into my stomach and I hurried back to my bed like some sort of
criminal, diving under the covers. I’m an idiot. All sound ceased, and then
the bathroom door fully opened, the light casting out into the room. I stilled
my movements, not daring to peek, and he switched off the lights.
He tossed the covers back, crawled into his bed, and released a steady
breathe through his nose. “Fuck, I’m tired.”
I chewed on my lip as my eyes adjusted to the darkness and settled my
gaze on the outline of his large frame underneath the covers. I should have
closed my eyes and turned over, but I didn’t.
“Same,” I said, piercing the darkness with my words.
A deep throaty unshed laugh fell off his lips, and it rocked me to my
core.
“Audrey?” My name sounded like a smooth purr rolling off his tongue
“Hmm?”
“Go to bed, before I put you to bed.”
I grumbled, and another deep laugh rolled off his lips. I turned over and
stared out the window as I listened in the darkness. The hum from the AC
kicked on, and it wasn’t long before a sonnet formed between the hum and
Beau’s light snores. The coupled sounds were enough to soothe me, and I
slowly drifted off to sleep.

I shot up when the door slammed shut. The room not as cool as it was last
night. My eyes landed on Beau’s empty bed where his duffel and all his
belongings were neatly packed. The smell of his masculine body wash
lingered in the air, proof he took another shower. I fell back onto the damp
sheets, now soaked with my sweat and looked at the ceiling before dragging
myself out of bed.
I pulled off my top, completely in the nude, and hurried into the
bathroom. Leftover steam coated the mirror and I swiped it away. Waiting
for the water to hit that perfect point between hot and cold, I eyed the small
leather bag on the sink. The same bag he took into the bathroom before he
we went to bed last night.
 My fingers danced along the edge of the sink, slowly creeping closer to
his belongings. I looked inside and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. He
had all the travel-size usuals. Soap, three-in-one body wash, unscented
lotion, toothpaste and a vanilla bean scented tattoo balm in a black can. I
opened it, curious about the smell, and I inhaled.
The familiar scent that I couldn’t quite put my finger on wrapped
around my lungs. I remembered the first time I noticed it, the night I slept
over at his house, falling asleep on his arm. I put it back, and my eyes
caught sight of a small package of mints, some cologne, and something
else. It had a purple top, cylinder in shape, and housed a clear, thick liquid. I
picked it up and examined the bottled. Personal lubricant. Extra slippery.
Extra wet.
I popped the top, although I really should have put it back. But my
curiosity got the best of me. It didn’t have a smell, and to my surprise, it
didn’t have a taste. Between the running water and my nosiness, I didn’t
hear Beau enter the room amongst the running water and the sudden knock
on the bathroom door had the lube flying out of my hand and onto the
floor.
“Kitten?”
“Don’t come in,” I shouted as I reached down to grab the bottle.
“I wasn’t, and okay…” He paused. “When you’re all done, can you grab
my bag? It’s on—”
“Yeah, I’ll grab it,” I said, interrupting him.
“Good morning to you too. You little grinch.”
He walked away and my shoulders slumped. I tossed the lube back into
his bag and zipped it up. Clean and wide awake, I stepped out of the
bathroom to Beau, sitting on the edge of his bed, legs spread, elbows on
knees and eyes on his phone.
At first, he didn’t look up, then I inched closer, water still dripping
down my legs. His eyes rose, his gaze anchored on my legs, but it slowly
climbed, and his spine straightened. I stretched out an arm, his bag hanging
on a strap curled around my fingers. He took it, his gaze unyielding, but he
also took me between his legs.
“Did you look in it?” A lazy smile spread across his lips.
I was prepared for him to say something sultry, or even pull me in for
another mind blowing kiss, but not that. I opened and closed my mouth,
guilt riding across my face clear as day.
 He pulled me in closer, his arms like an unbreakable band around my
waist. “Did you snoop, kitten? You can tell me.”
“No,” I protested, and sealed my lips shut.
He quirked a brow. “Are you sure?”
He smelled good, so good. I squeezed the front of my towel between the
palm of my hand, although it was desperately slipping away in a slow
motion.
“I’m positive.” I raised my nose and looked at the wall in front of me,
avoiding his intoxicating gaze.
His teeth pinched the edge of my chin, and slowly his mouth found my
neck. I flinched, not because it hurt, but because the pressure of his tongue
and lips latching on the tender skin sent a wave straight down to my
southern region. Or like Josi always said, pussy. His tongue swirled, but his
lips stayed planted, causing a moan to swell at the back of my throat.
Fighting it was pointless, and the moment his trunk like thighs entrapped
me it escaped, a low, sweet moan. It must have come as a surprise because
he stopped and blinked away the carnal gaze in his eyes.
“Get dressed. We need to get going, and we need to eat.” In the blink of
an eye, all the hunger in his eyes vanished, and he loosened his grip.
I stepped back, giving him enough room so he could stand. He ran a
thumb down my cheek, grabbed his duffel and stepped around me, heading
straight for the door. Twenty minutes later, I met him down by the bike, my
duffel and backpack in hand. He leaned into his bike, and it amazed me how
strong it was, because I only imaged something breaking into pieces with
his height and weight. He didn’t look up when I approached, and my eyes
landed on the oddly wrapped object in his hands.
“What’s that?” I asked, tossing my duffel on top of his.
I stepped into his bubble. The heat from the stale Texas air lined up an
army of sweat on his forehead, although he’d only been outside for twenty
minutes.
“Just a little something.” He tossed it between his large hands. “I’m not
the best wrapper so I hope you don’t mind the shit job,” he said, and
stretched out his hand.
I eyed the horribly wrapped item, and let my fingers roam over the
many lumps of the paper. A smile cracked from my lips as I tore it open and
my small bud of a smile turned into a full on bloom. I held in my hand the
Polaroid C600 from the thrift store we visited the other day.
 “You hate it?” He asked, frown lines grooving the corner of his mouth.
“No, I love it.” I returned my gaze to the gently worn camera. “How do
you use it?”
There it was again, one of those lazy, smooth as butter groans. He
pushed off his bike and placed his hands over mine.
“It’s easier than a smart phone, look.” He said, pressing a small black
button on one side to lift the flash.
A small giggle fell from my lips, and when his thumb pressed the power
button, it came to life. Every year for my birthday I would get a gift from
Josi, my step-grandfather, and Graham, although I knew Martha always
bought me my gifts and wrote Graham’s name on it. But none of them made
me happier than the gift Beau just gave me. The camera was old, bruised
and had seen better days, but he gifted it to me, and so it held sentimental
value, something I hadn’t received since my mom passed away.
I raised the camera up, squinting an eye as I looked through the small
hole. “Smile,” I said, cheer in my voice.
“I don’t do photos, kitten.” He turned and straddled his bike, raising a
hand to the side of his face.
My favorite photos were always the candid ones, the ones where you
didn’t even know someone was paying attention to you. I ignored Beau’s
plea and held the camera steady before pressing down on the button. The
camera whirled, and a fresh, toasty Polaroid spat out.
“Are you done?”
“Yeah,” I sad, joy dancing off my tongue.
I scurried to the back of the bike, remembering I had an empty envelope
in my backpack. I waited until the black-and-white photo of Beau came
through and then dropped it in. We were off, and I was starving. Beau made
me wait longer this time before pulling over to get food, almost 200 miles
too long. My ass was numb, my tongue parched and my stomach begging
me to feed it something.
 18
BEAU

W e were off two hours later than expected, and with no food in our
stomach. I wanted to get two hundred miles in before resting, and I
knew Audrey would give me hell for it. But that wasn’t the only
reason I wanted to keep the rubber to the road. As long as I kept the beast
between my legs and my hands glued to the handles, my emotions stayed in
check, and that’s what I needed. It stopped me from saying or doing
something I would later regret. This morning was a close call, almost too
close, and I hated myself for even going there.
But fuck, did it take me by surprise. Hitting me like a truck I didn’t see
coming. My mouth watered, and my blood turned to lava at the sight of her.
I’ve been around many women, and laid with just as many over the course
of my life, but nothing prepared me for the sickly rhythm that washed over
me when I pulled her between my legs. The need to press my lips to her
damp, soft skin was like no other, and it nearly ruined me. Realizing that
not a single soul touched her was like a blessing and a curse all wrapped
into one. Too innocent to touch, but too pure to let the opportunity slip.
I hated myself for the thoughts running through my mind. I
contemplated our kiss all night. I wanted to run. Get up, load the bike and
leave. She would’ve hated me for it. It would’ve broken her heart, fuck it
would have broken mine too, but I couldn’t do it, no matter how hard I tried
to reason with myself. In the middle of taking my shower, and jerking off,
my conscience returned. So I stayed, let out a breath and got comfortable in
a shitty motel bed, all while my cock and heart ached for her.
The large signs in the distance perked her up, and she rested her chin on
my right shoulder. God I loved it when she did that.
 “Starving?” I yelled over the engine.
“Said no one ever.”
I took the next exit, another mom-and-pop diner sat right off the route
and we pulled into the parking lot. I had a numb ass, a parched tongue and
an empty belly begging for some food. A worn sign hung above the
building Slanted off Route 66 Diner. I parked near the entrance, so we
didn’t have to bring her helmet in. She straightened the strap to her purse
around her waist and followed behind me, latching her fingers through mine
as I pulled open the door.
The ring of the bell knocked against the door and heads turned. One
thing I loved about the mother road was nothing ever changed. Restaurants
stayed the same, along with their menus and staff. It was almost as if time
came to a standstill on this route. Audrey drifted off to the side, taken back
by the black and red juke box nestled in the corner.
“Just two?” an older woman asked.
“Yup,” I said, passing my gaze back to Audrey.
The jukebox stole Audrey’s attention, so I followed the woman to our
booth and sat on the side where I faced the windows, and Audrey. Without
asking, the older woman poured me a cup of coffee and a water. She looked
like she’d seen better days. Her frame was frail, she had a burned to a crisp
tint, and her skin sagged. The many buttons, patches and stains on her apron
gave away just how long she had worked here. My guess was over twenty
years.
“Good?” she asked, eyeing the lip of the coffee mug
I nodded. “It tastes like death. It’s perfect.”
A chuckle fell off her lips, followed by a wide toothless smile. She
dragged away, coffeepot in hand, and my eyes returned to the innocent
beauty standing a few feet away. Rays of sunlight bathed Audrey, kissing
her soft skin and hair. Last night, she nearly killed me. Between the kiss and
laying eyes on her juicy tits when she removed her bikini top, I thought I
was going to lose my mind. The moment I laid eyes on her dark berry
nipples, my cock hardened. I talked myself out of jerking off to the sight of
her, but that promise didn’t last long. It worked, for a moment, before it
throbbed again for something else, for something sweet, tender and tight.
I closed my eyes, shaking my head as disappointment plagued its way
into my thoughts. The old me would have given in to the temptation to eat
the forbidden fruit and chalked it up to road trip shenanigans with a promise
to take the secret to my grave, but I knew well that secrets never stayed
buried. Taking a bite out of Audrey would come with consequences, ones
that would impact her more than me, and it wasn’t a path I wanted to
venture down.
My lips pressed to the lip of the coffee mug as she turned, her gaze
anchored on the wall of black and white photos that told the history of the
mother road. She followed it, her eyes inching closer to mine as the seconds
passed. Our eyes locked, and she revealed a smile so big it split her, and
eyes so bright that it hurt to stare into them for too long.
An older man tapped her on the shoulder, stealing her attention, and she
whipped her head around. He held out a silver coin, his hands trembling as
he waited for her to take it. I folded my arms across my chest and gave her
a nod when she turned to look my way. The lights flashed on the front of
the machine, and then she scanned the buttons. Unfamiliar with the options,
she pressed a random button and waited. Old lyrics from dead artists belted
out of the speakers, causing the few scattered customers to bop their heads
to the tune.
She snapped a picture of the box, the wall, and me before coming over
to sit down. Waving the fresh prints in the air, she set them down in a row
on the edge of the table before sliding in.
“I told you I don’t do pictures,” I said, raising the water cup to my lips.
My statement was met with her popping the flash to the camera as she
snapped another photo. I had no real reason to dislike photos. I didn’t look
bad in them, but maybe it had nothing to do with my looks, and everything
to do with the person I saw when I looked at myself. Either way, I hated
photos, and Audrey snapped a picture every time the opportunity presented
itself.
“Why? I don’t have any photos of you.”
“You don’t need any of photos of me. Just engrave my face into that big
brain of yours.”
She pouted, sticking out those so kissable lips. “No, I don’t want to only
remember you mentally.” She picked up a photo, examining it before
waving it lightly in the air. “How am I supposed to keep you forever if I
don’t have any photos of you?”
She didn’t even look up as the words tumbled off her lips, her eyes
focused on the Polaroids. I contemplated the answer, and let the question sit
between us. I started to say something, but the older woman walked over to
our table, cutting off my thoughts. She set down two menus and refilled my
coffee mug. Audrey let me order. By now I knew what she liked, and what
she didn’t. I always got the scrambled eggs, toast and sausage, and Audrey
preferred waffles with butter, extra syrup and a fruit smoothie. While she
was busy fidgeting with her purse, photos and envelope, the waitress came
and went.
“Preoccupied over there, kitten?”
“No, just putting my photos in my purse. But you never answered my
question.” She reached over, snapping up the fruit smoothie and wrapped
her luscious lips around the straw. Fuck me.
I guess I could have been honest and told her not to worry about
keeping me because I had every intention of running away. But I didn’t.
Instead, I raised a brow and relaxed into the seat. Giving into the
temptations that taunted me.
“Why do you want to keep me?”
She swallowed. “Because I like you.” She looked up at me with those
soft eyes.
“And what do you like about me?”
She twisted in her seat, her lips breaking away from the straw and into a
smile. “I don’t know. I guess I like everything about you.”
“Kitten, you can’t like everything about me.”
“Why not?” She placed the smoothie down and licked her bottom lip.
I leaned into the table and placed one elbow on top as I rested a finger
on my chin. “Because you haven’t seen everything.” I leaned in some more.
“Or have you?”
The statement was vague, opened ended with a hint of flirtation. I
couldn’t help myself. Not after I caught her watching me jerk off. Did I
know she was there the whole time? Fuck yeah, I did, and her anchored
gaze just made me stroke harder, but it was a secret I would keep. For now.
The way her eyes lit up with the hidden context in my words made my
cock ache. I wanted to do things to her, bad things. But the feeling vanished
when the waitress asked if my daughter would like another smoothie. Like
someone throwing an ice-cold bucket my way. I nodded, and she walked
away, returning five minutes later with a mango smoothie of some sort.
Our food came. We ate, watched aimless travelers come and go as we
wondered where the end of the line ended for them, and passed glances at
one another without a word being spoken, but so much being said. Taking
the last bite of my toast, I tossed down the leftover crust onto the plate. My
phone buzzed, and I glanced at the screen. A missed call from Finn. Too
wrapped up in everything that happened last night with Audrey, I didn’t
even stop to think about Finn and Al. What would they think if they found
out I kissed my daughter, and liked it. What if they found out my cock got
rock hard the moment I saw the swollen buds of her nipples when she took
off her top?
“Earth to Beau,” she said, breaking me out of my haze.
“Finished?”
She looked down at the stack of half-eaten pancakes and fruit bowl. She
pushed her plate away and rested her hands on her soft stomach, now full of
food. I flagged down the waitress, paid the check, and we headed out.
“What’s the next stop?” She asked, her fingers intertwining with mine
as we made the short walk back to the bike.
I swung one leg over and fired up the bike. “Winslow, Arizona.”
Amarillo to Arizona was the second largest leg of the trip. The states got
bigger and the stretches of road seemed never ending. If this was any other
trip, it wouldn’t bother me so much, but it wasn’t. I had her with me, and
the more time we spent together with nothing between us for hundreds of
miles on end, the more my emotions went out of whack. The more she had
me questioning everything.
“That sounds fun. Maybe they will have a thrift store.” Her sweet voice
melted in with the purr of my engine, and she clipped the straps of her
helmet into place.
I was screwed. Seriously screwed.

We did 294 miles in a blink of an eye, stopping in Albuquerque, New

Mexico for a break. It was a little after 3:00 p.m. with evening fast
approaching, but the day was still young to explore. I tried coaxing Audrey
to head back to the bike so we could get to Arizona before midnight, but
she begged to visit the Albuquerque museum, and I couldn’t say no to those
pretty brown eyes. She didn’t wait for me once we parked, and hopped off
the bike with her Polaroid in hand as she headed for the door. Denying the
fact that a wave of warmth washed over me as excitement coated her face
was pointless.
I loved to see her smile, laugh and be herself with zero remorse. I stood
near the bike and followed her movements, the realization slapping me in
the face. The love I had for her seemed to change overnight. I always loved
her. She was my baby girl, but the way I wanted to love her now was
different. It was wrong, yet the thoughts wouldn’t go away.
She turned to face me as she opened the heavy door, and I sprinted up
the steps, closing in on her in swiftly. Finn mentioned this museum a few
days ago when we talked over text, but it slipped my mind until Audrey
brought it up again. Once we paid our fee, we walked through a corridor
falling into an immersive experience of Albuquerque, its history, culture
and impact on the historic Route 66.
Worrying about time seemed to slip away as I reveled in the cool air and
emptiness of the building. Just me and Audrey ambling down the long
hallways filled with history. We stopped in front of an exhibit, Audrey’s
eyes glued to the informational plaque.
I crept behind her, so close that my crotch pressed into her lower back. I
should have stopped right then and there, but I didn’t. My left arm wrapped
around her waist, while my right hand found the softness of her hair. Not a
single word left her lips as I tilted her head back, exposing her neck, hungry
to latch my lips on to hers.
I anticipated how this one would feel, and fuck did it feel good. Losing
my grip on reality, I forced my tongue into her mouth, my hand still tangled
in her curls, her feet now slightly off the ground. I wanted her; I wanted her
so fucking bad. She melted into me, letting the hand that was tight around
her waist travel up underneath her t-shirt to her tits. My hand greedily
grabbed hold of one. I squeezed, the softness of it driving me up a fucking
wall. No bra? Fuck me.
Like wind to a match, the sparks brewing between us died when my
name sounded off the lips of a man behind us. Almost 1400 miles away
from the place I called home, never in a million years did I expect to run
into one of my brother’s buddies. What were the odds? What were the
fucking odds?
 19
AUDREY

T he sound of a low voice calling Beau’s name broke our kiss. He took
a step back, taking a small piece of my heart with him. Silence fell
amongst us, thicker than a fog on a hot, humid day. I turned to face
him, and he inched away a little more. Beau swallowed, his Adam's apple
bobbing up and down with nervousness. The man got closer. He wore torn
jeans, a faded band t-shirt and had just as many tattoos as Beau. Light
laughter, and the sound of squeaky wheels, followed behind him.
“Hey. Haven’t seen you in a while,” the man said, slicing a glance
behind his shoulder. “At first, I thought you were Finn. You two fuckers
look just alike and shit.”
Finn? Who was Finn? Beau had a brother? I have an uncle?
A woman appeared from around the corner, her belly swollen, and two
small children tugging on the fabric of her dress. She found my gaze,
smiled, and continued to walk past all three of us. The mysterious man said
something I couldn’t make out and handed her a pair of car keys before she
passed him.
Beau stuffed his hands inside his pockets, embarrassment clear as day
on his face, “Yeah, life and shit keeps me busy. Finn cut his hair, so we
don’t look too identical anymore.”
He wanted to say more, but the words dried up on his tongue. Now, with
both their eyes on me, I ignored what felt like beetles crawling in my belly
and lowered my eyes to the colorful tile.
“Is that…. Is this…” The man’s words trailed off, uncertainty tainting
them as he locked his gaze on me.
“Yeah, it is,” Beau said, a nervous laugh chasing after his words.
 The man raised his brow, shock etching its way into his features, and the
silence returned. Time stilled, and not in a good way. I didn’t know who this
mysterious man was, but he knew me, and he saw me kissing my dad with
full blow tongue action. In a matter of seconds, it was as if I had no idea
who I was staring at as I looked at Beau. Regret warped his features, and I
couldn’t bear to stare at his cold hazel eyes any longer.
I turned on my heel and walked around the corner. My breath was
lodged so deep in my chest that once I was out of their sight, I needed to
take a seat just to breathe. Maybe I’ve been too wrapped up in the fairytale
of it all to realize how wrong everything was, but I couldn’t believe it
because when I was in Beau’s arms, everything seemed so right.
With my eyes glued to the floor, and my bottom lip secure between my
teeth, he appeared, the toe of his leather boots coming into my line of sight.
Too scared to look at him, but too anxious not to, I slowly raised my gaze.
He combed his hands down his face, resting his palms in the prayer position
against his lips.
“Beau?” The words squeaked out.
“Do you want to finish the tour?” he asked, and let his arms drop to his
side.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted him to say, but that wasn’t it. Maybe I
hoped he would reach out to me and hug me, or tell me not to worry about
the guy who saw us kissing, or tell me who Finn was and why I never met
him.
“Who’s Finn?”
He let out a breath. “My twin brother, and that guy is one of his
longtime buddies.” He tipped his chin to the ceiling and shook his head.
I stood, walked into his bubble, and grabbed his hand. “How come you
didn’t tell me you had a brother?”
“There are a lot of things I haven’t told you, Audrey. I haven’t exactly
been around.” He broke our tether and walked around me. “Do you want to
keep going or what?”
There wasn’t an ounce of water around, yet I found myself drowning in
my own thoughts and anxiety. So many questions, but the only thing I could
focus on was his sudden coldness. The way he looked at me with shame as
if I was his biggest regret, and he wished he could take it back.
He started walking, his back to my front and my legs moved without me
until I was standing in front of him. “You kissed me.”
 The words slipped off my lips, piercing the stale air. All the tension is
his jaw slacked, leaving a flicker of warmth behind his eyes.
“I know. I shouldn’t have kissed you the first time, and I’m so sorry I
kissed you a second time.”
He didn’t mean it. He couldn’t have meant it.
“Why… why can’t—”
“Fuck Audrey, we can’t be together. We can’t! What would people
think?”
The air solidified in my chest as his words seeped into one ear and out
of the other.
“I thought you didn’t care what people think,” I said, pressing my palms
into his hard chest.
I repeated my actions, pounding my fist into his chest as he just stood
there like a six-foot-three statue made of concrete. He didn’t even flinch. I
blinked, not a single tear skipping down my cheek as anger and frustration
ran through me.
“I care about what people might think about you, kitten. You’re young,
and being with me is just…”
“But I—”
“You don’t love me, not like you think you do. It’s just puppy lust,
kitten. Your first kiss. Your first real crush. But none of those things should
have been with me, “he said, cutting me off.
His words were a kick to the stomach. I turned my cheek away as he
reached out to stroke it with his thumb. I had so many things I wanted to
say, but I just forced them back down. Turning on my heels, I followed the
arrows, leaving him standing idle in the middle of the exhibit.

By the time we arrived in Arizona, it was late, and I was exhausted. We cut
our conversations down to “am I hungry and do I need to use the bathroom”
until we made it to our motel. He checked us in, returning a few minutes
later with two keys.
“I guess you really don’t want to be tempted to kiss me again,” I said,
yanking my duffel and backpack off the bike.
 He slid his tongue across his bottom lip as he fidgeted with the room
keys. His gaze hard on mine. “The rooms are adjoining. I think it would be
best if we stayed in separate rooms—”
“I know. Regret,” I said, as I took one key out of his hand.
I headed up the steps, counting the numbers under my breath until I
reached the one that matched what was on the key ring. By the time I
inserted the key and pushed the door open, his heavy boots were powering
up the steps behind me.
I looked around and crossed over the threshold into the room. I let my
bags drop near the bed and fell onto the mattress. Beau opened his door and
wasted no time unlocking the door that joined our rooms. The hinges cried
a sad song as he pulled it open, and he stood between the frame. I hated
myself for the way I felt when I looked at him, or when he looked at me. He
raised a muscular arm and rested it on the doorframe as he chewed on his
bottom lip, eyes still stuck on mine.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” I shoved a piece of bubble gum in my
mouth and retrieved my phone out of my purse.
A simper of a smirk pulled at the edges of his mouth and he crossed his
wrists over one another. Lines of black ink appeared as he raised his shirt
over his head. I didn’t want to stare, but I did.
“I could say the same thing about you,” he said, contentment hooked on
his lips.
He disappeared back into his room, purposely leaving the door that
conjoined our rooms wide open. Returning my gaze to the ceiling, my
phone vibrated, and Josi Bear’s face popped up. I missed her, and needed to
hear her voice.
“Josi Bear,” I said, walking over to the door.
I stole a glance in his room before closing the door slightly. The creak
of the hinges nearly gave me away, but the sound went unnoticed.
“I wish you were here already. I’m stuck talking to the neighbors’ dog
and my stuffed animals. It’s getting pretty old.”
I giggled and unlaced my boots. “You should just keep the dog at this
point. It’s always there.”
“I know. Grandma loves it and she feeds it. Now it will never go away.”
“I thought you were talking to a new guy or something?”
She huffed, then whined, and then huffed again. Freeing my toes from
the tight confinement of my boots, I opened my duffel and grabbed the
mesh bag with my sandals and soft slippers.
“Was is the key word here,” she said ruffling a bag of some sort. “Guys
suck monkey balls.”
“No lies there.”
The line got quiet, and my spine stiffened as I rehashed the words in my
head. Crap. She didn’t say a word, and the only noise coming through the
speaker was the ruffling of her bag and the sound of a soda being opened.
Gnawing on the cuticle of my thumb, I tried to find a way to ease into the
truth if she probed me. But how do you tell someone that you kissed your
dad and liked it?
“Here, here sister. How’s your dad?”
A wave of relief rolled off my shoulders at her words. “He’s okay. We
had another super-long stretch today, so we’re both tired.”
“I bet. But you can stay up a little longer so I can bitch right?”
I teased, contemplating, as I tapped my finger against my chin.
“Audi!” she cried out.
“Of course. Anything for my Josi Bear.”
As I peeled off my clothes to shower before heading to bed, she talked
about a guy she met at the ice cream parlor near her grandparents’ house.
She explained in great detail how he was a tall glass of water, all man, but
was the worse lay she ever had. Apparently, the guy needed a map and a
reward of $10,000 to find the clit. As her words spilled into the speaker, my
thoughts drifted in and out, and all of them were about Beau.
“Stay a virgin as long as possible, Audi. There’s nothing waiting for you
but disappointment. Audi?”
“Okay. I have no boyfriend anyway, so I’m sure my V card will stay
intact.”
“Guys hate the good girls. Maybe we should be bad girls. Then we’ll
get the guys who know how to fuck. I’m over the nerds,” she said, before
plopping another chip into her mouth.
“I’m not bad girl material. But you can get away with it.”
“You so are bad girl material. Have you seen those thunder thighs you
carry around?” She took a sip and let out a small moan. “Squeeze those into
a pair of booty shorts paired with a no-fucks-given attitude and you’re like
sugar to a fly.”
I dried off and wrapped another smaller towel around my wet hair.
“Guys like good girls, too.”
 “Yeah, but they’re gentle with us. Like we don’t tempt them enough or
something. You remember Clara Hines? She was a senior our first year at
St. Marys?”
“Yeah?”
“Now the girl could tempt. I learned a lot from her.”
Tempt?
I rubbed the lotion between my palms and raised my leg. “You spoke to
her?”
“No, but I didn’t need to. I just watched.”
The conversation intrigued me, and I wondered if Beau was pulling
back because he looked at me as some gentle fawn too fragile to walk
through the rings of fire with him. I didn’t deny the fact that I was young,
but my feelings for him were real. I knew that for a fact.
“Creeper.” I teased.
Josi swallowed, and then smacked her lips. “It’s not creeping if it’s for
research.”
“What are you even eating?”
She let a beat of silence pass. “Chips because I’m salty. Did you eat?”
I dropped my legs and tossed the lotion back into my bag. “Not really.
I’m hungry, but I just showered and—”
“Goooo. Go out and practice being a sleazy whore, so when you arrive
in California, we can take over the ice cream parlor.”
A giggle erupted from my lungs. I shoved my hands into my duffel,
fetching a pair of shorts made of thin, athletic material and a white tank top.
“I don’t like places with lots of people and it’s a little after midnight
here.”
She clapped her hands. “Perfect. The bar should still have a few drunk
lurkers.”
“I don’t know. What would my dad think?”
A mirthless laugh flowed off her lips. “First of all, you’re eighteen, and
it’s not like he can lay down the law now. He’s a little late for that.”
Before I could get another word out, a yawn seized the opportunity.
“Ugh, you little party pooper. Fine. Go to sleep.”
“I sorry Josi Bear,” I said in a soft voice.
She grumbled, then giggled. I promised I would text her first thing in
the morning and we ended our call. Another yawn fell off my lips as I
tossed my phone on the bed. I pulled the cover back, ready to face palm into
the pillow, but I stopped when I thought about my night light. I checked my
duffel. Disappointed that it wasn’t in there, I moved to my backpack, and
more disappointment followed.
Walking over to the door that joined our rooms, I opened it and stepped
inside. He wasn’t here? A leather scent filled the air, and I spotted his duffel
sitting on the floor near the bed. I felt like a criminal going through his
things, especially after what happened last time.
It wasn’t here, which meant we left it at the last motel we stayed at. I
pulled the zipper closed, looked down at the duffel, and then around the
empty room. Why did he get to leave and forget about everything that
happened today? Tucking a piece of damp hair behind my ear, I kicked his
duffel with my bare foot, and then stormed back into my room.
I was hungry, annoyed, and tired. But even with the pull of the bed
sheets below my eyes, Beau’s pull was stronger. I wanted to lie down and
forget about the day and him. My brain just wouldn’t let me. Instead, I
grabbed my room key, shoved it in my pocket and switched out my slippers
for a pair of flip-flops before heading out the door.
 20
BEAU

M y demons just wouldn’t leave me alone, and when the door of the
shitty dive bar opened, she stepped inside. I should have looked
away, hell I should have gotten up, grabbed her wrist and took her
back to the motel. Instead, I let her saunter over. The mounds of her swollen
tits peeked through the top of her tank. My eyes dropped, taking in the
thickness of her thighs and the way her athletic shorts clung to her ass.
They were short, almost too short for my liking. Wandering eyes landed
on her as she walked over to me, and I wanted to punch every single
fucking man who had the mitigated gall to ogle her. She looked different,
with freshly glossed lips, plump and ready to be kissed. A tint of rose kissed
her cheeks, and I couldn’t stop the grin that spread across my lips as I
caught sight of the black eyeliner accenting her almond shaped eyes. Bad
kitten.
The tantalizing scent of her shampoo and fruity perfume played devil’s
advocate with my senses, making my mouth water and cock rise. She
shouldn’t make me feel like this. She wasn’t supposed to. She was my
daughter. She was blood. Ignoring me, she sat down, flipping her curls over
her shoulder, and placed both elbows on the bar. I stared her down, my gaze
unwavering. Before I realized it, the bartender set down my two shots, she
reached over and grabbed them. Shocked, I reached out my hand to stop
her, but she swirled the stool around, away from me.
“I thought you were done with your little list?” I asked, taking a small
sip of my beer.
She turned, jutting out her chin. “No, you decided I was done when you
balled up my list and then kissed me.”
 She slung one shot back and winced. I waited, curious if she would take
the other one. I didn’t drink the light shit, especially now with everything
that had happened. But to my surprise, she repeated her actions, sliding
back the second shot glass like a champ and slammed it down on the bar.
One thing about dive bars, they never really cared about the rules, and the
bars still thriving on the deserted Route 66 couldn’t give a rat’s ass about
legal drinking age.
I stood, leaning into her back. Fuck, she smelled like something I would
go to jail over. Her chest rose and fell with each breath, the workings of
fifty-proof alcohol warming her virgin blood. She whimpered, the after
effects hitting her in the face like a fucking Mac truck going one hundred on
the highway. My hand tucked away the locks of hair over her ears, and I
pressed my lips to them.
“Breathe, kitten.” Her posture bled tension, her spine melting into my
chest as her head fell back onto my shoulder.
“Don’t tell me what to do.” The icy words uttered off her juicy lips,
followed by a moan.
“Did you trade good girl kitten for bratty kitten?” I whispered, my arms
caging her like a vise.
She tried to fight me, pulling at my arms to loosen my grip, but I had no
intentions of letting go.
“I’m… I’m a good girl,” she slurred, licking her lips.
I breathed her in, my right hand crawling up to her throat as my fingers
slinked around it. I squeezed, just enough to hear another moan drip off her
lips. “Are you going to show me how good you can be?”
The words spilled off my lips before I caught them. A small part of me
regretted it, but the rest of me didn’t. I stepped in front of her, spreading her
thick thighs with one of my knee, and reached over to grab my beer. She
gave a surrendering look; the liquor taking hold of her as it sapped the arch
from her spine.
“You doing okay, kitten?”
“What do you care?” She attempted to turn on her stool to face the bar,
failing miserably. “No one cares about me.”
I twirled her around to face me and pressed my forehead to hers. “I care
about you.”
“Liar. If you cared th-then you wouldn’t have been a deadbeat dad. Y-
you wouldn’t have left me,” she said, the words coming out louder than
expected.
“But I didn’t.” I clipped a finger under chin, forcing her eyes to mine. “I
never left you because I could never truly leave you, no matter how hard I
tried.”
Her head bobbled to the side, those brown eyes soft and glossy. She
looked straight into my eyes, and it made me want to spill my guts right
here and now. I wanted to tell her everything in the hopes that she wouldn’t
remember the next day, but the memories and my poor actions would still
weigh heavy on my soul. The boulder wouldn’t be lifted until she digested
the truth coming out of my mouth and still loved me once it was all out in
the open.
Startled by the quick chuckle, I pulled away, taking another sip of my
beer. The pleasure of being around a virgin drinker hadn’t presented itself in
years, and watching Audrey reminded me of how entertaining it was.
“Y-you’re lame,” she said, her fingers like a snake curling around my
belt buckle.
“Am I?”
She raised her chin, exposing her neck like a crane. “Yea. Asshole.”
“Keep mouthing off and I’ll give you a real reason to curse me.” I said,
pressing my forehead back to hers.
She levied a glare, but it softened once my lips tipped into a grin. I
loved the way she looked. Hot, tired, and tipsy. In this moment, she didn’t
look like my little baby girl, but a full grown woman with a fire blazing
attitude and I loved it.
“Playing with fire kitten.”
“So,” she snapped, eyes dancing between burning fury and curiosity.
I placed my hand over hers, and her posture firmed. “Trust me, you
don’t want to feel my burn.”
My words went in one ear and out the other, and she slid her fingers
under the leather, her eyes glued to mine as she unlatched the buckle. It was
as if we were in our own bubble, not a care in the world. She was the only
one who made me feel like that.
“Last call,” a bartender yelled out.
I looked down at my watch, wondering where the past two hours went.
We arrived in Arizona a little after 11:00 p.m. and in the blink of an eye; it
was already 2:00 a.m. The bartender walked down the bar, an empty shot
glass in one hand and the bottle of Dulce Vida Blanco tequila in the other.
He took one look at her, and then at me, then poured the clear liquid into the
glass and slid it over.
Audrey reached for it, but she wasn’t quick enough, the liquor now in
its numbing phase. Eyeing her below me, her lips slightly parted, small
droplets of sweat trickling down the center of her tits like a slow leaking
faucet, and those eyes. Fuck those sweet brown eyes. Men filed out of the
bar as the lights dimmed and the music died out like a slow death. I wanted
her. My cock ached and my mouth watered at the thought of tasting her
juices. I took the shot glass, placed it on her lips, her eyes sparkling with
anticipation before snatching it away and kicking it back. It burned, but it
was everything I needed before turning down a road I’d never be able to
come back from.

The short walk back to the motel was quick, and it didn’t take long before
the elixir nipped at my spine. Audrey swayed like a kite in the wind as I
dragged her along, my hand tight around hers. With glassed over eyes, her
muscles melted from the balm of the liquor. I l stole a glance in her
direction, her sun kissed skin still glowing beneath the darkened sky. A
thorny knot of emotions settled in my core as I kept my sights on her. She
took slow and steady steps, one after the other.
“Come on, kitten, come to me,” I said, reaching out my hand.
I powered up the steps before her and turned to find her looking like a
goddamn goddess at the bottom. She lifted one foot, twisting her hips
seductively before lifting the other. I never felt more like a villain than in
this exact moment. Thoughts about what I was going to do to her swam
around my head, plaguing me. I was no fucking hero, but seeing her swipe
her tongue over her swollen lips between her teeth as she stretched her chin
to the starless sky had me not giving a damn.
“D-daddy…” The word floated off her lips.
If I was the good guy, I would reach out, grab her wrist, put her to bed,
and scold her in the morning. But I wasn’t the good guy. I was fucked the
moment she locked her doe eyes with me the first night we met. Her smooth
purr like words just made my cock pulse harder. It made me unhinged and
my mouth watered. She landed on the top step, her hand lightly gripping the
handrail. Her lashes beat softly with each slow blink as she succumbed to
the liquor.
“Kitten?” I stepped back, my ringed pointer finger curled in a ‘come
here’ direction.
She followed, taking slow steps as her shorts crawled up her legs. I ate
her up. With each step she took, my eyes drank her up like a tall glass of
water and fuck, was it refreshing. Our rooms were four doors down, and it
seemed like an eternity to make it, but we finally did. I didn’t bother
waiting for her to take the last few steps. I picked her up and brought her
inside. Her sandals dropped to the floor on the way to the bed and I laid her
down, my gaze fixated on her frame as it dissolved into the mattress.
She reached out to me, her dainty fingers twisted in the air, eager to
grab on to me.
“Yes, kitten?” I asked, bringing my lips to her soft hands.
I battled my conscience, and ignored the voices that whispered how
wrong this was.
How sick this was.
“A-a-are you going to touch me?”
No. I’m not going to touch you because that’s wrong and you’re my
daughter. Only a sick bastard would do something so vile.
I pushed down the words I should have said and looked her in the eyes.
“Yes. I’m going to touch you.” I ran a thumb down her soft cheek, “I’m
going to devour your sweet little tight pussy tonight. Okay?”
I waited for a nod before heading into the bathroom. She was tipsy, but
not pissed drunk. I needed her to know what I was about to do to her, and I
wanted her to remember everything.
 21
AUDREY

M y entire body felt like it was floating in a warm sea. I followed Beau
back to the room with heavy limbs as the hot summer air nipped at
my skin. It felt different this time around. Not like when I chugged a
cheap beer at one of St. Marys forbidden parties. A sense of freedom, and
security twisted itself into one, draping me, and I loved it.
My spine tingled as I inched closer to Beau, his eyes now brewing an
ominous storm behind them as he tethered his gaze to mine. He got tired of
waiting for my sloth-like pace and picked me up in one scoop. Crossing the
threshold into the room I wrapped my legs around and him leaned back.
With my neck exposed to the ceiling the warmth of his lips claimed it.
He kissed, sucked, and then pulled my bottom lip between his teeth, biting
just hard enough to force a moan from my throat. It stung, but I craved the
sensation again once it subsided. The suction of his lips around my throat
made quivers trip up my back, and I begged for more.
“Let me see you,” He said, his voice low and hoarse.
He pulled back the sheets before letting me drop to the bed. I melted
into the mattress, my legs rising like a tide. He told me what he was going
to do to me, and made me nod in agreement and then disappeared into the
bathroom. I felt weightless, yet heavy at the same time. He returned from
the bathroom naked, his hard dick on full display.
“Take off your shorts, kitten.”
My lips eased into a smile, playfulness and pleasure pulling at me, as
the liquor slowed everything down. His hazel eyes tangled with mine, then
dropped down to my fingers as I curled them around the waistband. He
watched me struggle before forcing himself between my legs.
 “I need help,” I said, pushing my lips into a pout.
He raised a brow, and leaned in, his hands running up my stomach along
with my shirt. I lifted my hands above my head, exposing my bare chest to
him and he tossed my tank to the side. With his hands firmly around my
wrists, he sprinkled kisses on my lips, then traveled down, until the wetness
of his tongue sent a tingle down my spine. He bit my lips, snatching the air
from my lungs, then sucked. I writhed below him, as a throbbing sensation
teased my folds.
Without realizing it, I was lifting my hips, eager for him to move his
lips farther down.
His lips found the shell of my ear, his breath hot against my skin. “You
want Daddy to eat this virgin pussy?”
Words taunted my lips, but the only thing I managed to get out was
another moan as he pinched my nipples between his finger and thumb.
“Fuck, tell me. Open that pretty mouth of yours and say the words
Daddy wants to hear.”
“D-daddy, please eat my virgin pussy.”
His mouth left my ear, and he hovered over me, a salacious promise in
his eyes. His torso seemed a mile long, going on forever. He peppered my
stomach with kisses until his lips landed on my tiny patch of peach fuzz. He
smelled like musk, leather, and experience. Something I didn’t have but he
cared little about. He let his lips part while his finger spread my slit, and let
a drop of warm drool drip down the middle of my folds. Then he flicked
once, and then again.
It was if I was dreaming and he was the dream, the person pulling my
soul from my body with each flick of his tongue. A bout of nerves set in,
fearful of the unfamiliar sensation zapping me like a shock of electricity as
he devoured me. I tensed and extended my neck as my fingers gripped the
sheets. How naive for me to think he would stop and ask how I was doing,
no. The frequent rigid movements my body made only forced him to lick
me faster, and suck my clit harder.
Curious to explore more of me, his hands roamed up my belly and
stopped at my breasts. The pads of his fingers teased my nipples in a
rhythmic motion. I didn’t understand how, but I needed him to keep doing
it, keep rubbing and touching because the sensation just made me more
sensitive.
“Fuck, kitten. Your pussy is going to be the death of me.”
 I moaned at his words, the room now quiet with only the sounds of him
lapping me up like a hungry beast. His hands left my breasts, and a
whimper fell off my lips like a dead leaf, laced with a plea.
“Daddy?”
He stopped, the warmth of his breath leaving my slit. “Yes.”
His voice was dark and I locked my gaze on his, daring to look him in
the eye. His tongue pushed passed his lips, the tip taunting my clit. Gone
were the warm coffee-brown irises, the ones staring at me now were darker,
proof the man between my thighs was feral for me.
“Be a good girl and use your words,” he said, still flicking my bud
intermittently.
“C-can you touch me again?”
“Baby, I’m already touching you. So tell me where you want me to.”
I didn’t want to say it out loud, but I had to.
I shifted, my chest rising as he licked me again. “My nipples, please,
Daddy.”
He granted my wish, sliding his hands back to their rightful place. My
body reacted to the movements, and he hovered his body over mine, before
stealing my lips. I moaned into his mouth, and the taste of my juices stained
his lips.
“I want you to taste what I’m craving,” he said, his mouth at the shell of
my ear. “Is this Daddys pussy?”
I nodded.
“Words, kitten. Tell me who owns this sweet little pussy.”
I couldn’t find the words, they were lodged in my throat, battling it out
with the breath desperate to escape my lungs. While he teased me with
words, his finger found my clit and he moved it in a delicate motion.
“Say it, kitten. Look me in the fucking eyes and tell me who owns your
virgin cunt.”
His words followed a low growl and it made my eyes flutter. Somehow
I found the words he wanted to hear and parted my lips.
“Daddy. It belongs to Daddy.”
“Good girl. It’s mine. All mine. You belong to me.”
He returned his lips to my swollen bulb and sucked. I raised my chest,
my head digging into the pillow as a wave of electricity awakened every
nerve in my body. He moaned into me, and his fingers pinched my nipples,
twisting and twirling them with just the right amount of pressure.
 “D-daddy,” I called out as I struggled in his grasp. “Daddy please…
please…”
He ignored my pleas, my words falling on deaf ears as he created a
vacuum like suction around my clit. I never felt this before. It was different.
Not like when I touched myself all alone in my room in the middle of the
night. Whatever sorcery his tongue was dipped in had my breath rippling
through my lungs, and then my body seized. My hands tangled in his hair,
my fingers pulling at the strands as he took me over the edge.
The high came and left just as quickly. He removed his mouth and
gently spread my legs. I could hardly move without my body seizing back
up, but I looked down and eyed his rock hard cock. He stroked, his cock
mere inches from my folds. I kept my eyes on his movements; the sights
making me throb all over again. Then he stopped, and the vein that ran from
the base to the tip came to life as he pulsed a thick stream of iridescent fluid
on my stomach.
I whimpered, and he let a lecherous grin play across his face as he
leaned over me and took my lips. With my juices fresh on his tongue, he
dove in deeper, forcing me to devour it.
“Love the way you taste. Just as I imagined,” he said, his breath hot and
voice thick. “One day, I’ll bottle your juices so I can drink them anytime I
want.” He ran his hand through my hair and brought his lips back down on
mine.
I giggled and watched as he cleaned me up, being gentle with my
sensitive folds. My eyes became heavy the moment he lay next to me, and
he pulled me into his embrace.

I woke out of my sleep with a headache, sensitive folds and my stomach

churning. Ugh. Why does Josi drink all the time if this was the aftermath?
The room was dark, except for the small sliver of light coming from the
back of Beau’s phone. A thick leather bound Bible laid like a tent over it to
disperse the light. I thought it was funny these motels had Bibles. I always
thought people used motels like these to have quick sex with strangers
without getting caught. I pressed my hands into his chest, but he didn’t
move.
 He lay on his back, his hair wild across the pillow with one muscular
tattooed arm laying across his face. Short snores sprinkled the air as he
breathed, and I took a moment to stare. The pads of my fingers roamed
across his massive chest as I outlined the designs and I wondered what each
one meant. Then my eyes locked on the half skull across his heart. Hidden
amongst the collage of colorful ink, I almost missed it for a second time. A
heart, half skeleton and half flower with my named etched in the middle.
Audie 4 ever
That’s what it read. My name, in permanent ink across his chest, in the
same spot of his heart. I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear before gently
pressing my fingers down over it to trace it.
“I got that the day you were born.” His words came out thick and
throaty.
I lifted, but he tightened his grip across my bare ass, holding me in
place. His full features came into view when he removed his arm and
placed it behind his head. Butterflies swarmed my core as I looked at the
man who made me feel whole all over again.
“Oh.” I sliced my gaze back to his chest, licking my bottom lip as my
nerves got the best of me.
I had so many questions, and the pot was nearly boiling over. I learned
so much about him, but the biggest question remained, and I needed to
know why he left.
A low moan flowed off his lips as his fingers trailed the length of my
back. My lids flickered closed once his fingers tangled in my hair and
massaged my scalp. Lost in his gentle caress, he placed a kiss on my
forehead and I moaned.
“Do you like it?”
“Mmhmm,” I moaned, too busy enjoying the movements of his fingers
in my hair.
His deep laughter returned, followed by a yawn. Then he shifted, his
dick pressing right into my thigh. I wanted to open my eyes, but I dared not
to. For some odd reason, every time I thought he wasn’t looking, he always
was, and it made me heat up in embarrassment. The tingle from my clit still
pulsed through my body whenever I moved, and my mind raced back to the
way it felt.
“Kitten?”
 I loved the way he said that. It was seductive, yet protective at the same
time.
I bent down into his chest, running my finger down the bridge of his
nose. “Why do you call me kitten?”
“Because you're sweet like one.” He ran his thumb over my lip, and
then gently slid it in inside. “And naughty like one, too.”
“I’m not naughty,” I said, rising until my breasts were on full display,
my nipples now hard from the cool air circulating the room.
He didn’t have to say anything. The look behind his bedroom eyes said
it all. I rolled my eyes before falling back into him. His strong arms
wrapped around me and he let out a heavy breath. Everything felt so perfect
in this moment. All my thoughts vanished, my fears disappeared into the
void, as a sense of comfort and love consumed me.
“What was your first tattoo?” I asked, my face now pressed into the
nape of his neck.
“A smiley face.”
“What?” I lifted, and caught his gaze. “Where?”
He let a beat of silence pace before a devilish grin played across his
face. “On my ass. Right cheek.”
“Liar.”
I starred him down, a perfect pout on my lips, brows furrowed. But it
didn’t last long, because looking him in the eyes made me melt.
“You wanna check?” He asked, raising a brow.
“No.” I deadpanned.
My eyes trailed the length of him, stopping at the edge of the covers that
concealed his bottom half. Whatever facial expression that etched its way
into my features made his lips peel back as he let out a silent laugh. I caught
the tip of his snake-like tongue wedged between his teeth before he slid in
back. Just seeing it again made me pulse all over, but the feeling was
fleeting as another one took over. My stomach twisted, the sensation
seeping like rot through my bones, and my throat constricted.
“Uh oh,” he said, rising.
Bile stirred, and I hopped off the bed, my mouth watering the moment I
flipped on the bathroom light. It sounded terrible and tasted just as bad. I
fought back tears as the alcohol wreaked havoc on my insides, but the
moment the first cry came through, Beau was standing behind me, pulling
my hair to one side. Relief washed over me when my throat stopped
constricting and I swallowed. A rancid taste I wanted to rid myself of took
over my mouth and I stumbled to my feet.
“I got you, baby.” He pulled me into his arms, reaching over to the flush
the toilet.
Suddenly, I felt weak, thirsty and sleepy. “Does it always feel like this?”
“Yeah.”
I whimpered at the reassurance in his words. We walked back over to
the bed, his hand on the small of my back to help me underneath the covers.
The room seemed even colder, and I snuggled the blanket. I swallowed
again, wincing at the slight pain in my throat. The cool water from his
insulated flask soothed the ache, and he nudged me down into the mattress.
The softness of the blanket, paired with the hum of the AC, taunted my
eyelids, and once Beau wrapped his strong arms around me, I drifted off to
sleep.
 22
BEAU

I didn’t remember the last time I had a good night's rest, but for some odd
reason, my sleeping seemed to get better each night on this trip. Maybe
it was the air, the soothing familiarity of shitty motels, beds, or her. I
flicked the butt of the used cigarette over the balcony and dug in my jeans
pocket for another one. Lighting it up, I took a swig, and then blew it out,
hoping to God that the feelings I had for my daughter would disperse into
the wind just like the smoke flowing through my lips.
Once she fell back to sleep after puking her little guts out, I cradled her,
refusing to let go. She dozed right off, and so did I, with not even a care in
the world. It should have kept me awake, the things I did to her, the way I
devoured her sweet candied juices and made her call me Daddy with damn
near tears in her eyes. I glided my tongue over my bottom lip, desperate to
hold on to the leftover taste of her on my lips.
Out of all the women I’ve slept with over the years, nothing compared
to lying down next to her. Everything seemed to fall into place the moment
we melted into one another, and it was like nothing I ever felt. Not even
with her mother. Another cigarette came and went, leaving me with a
burning butt between my ringed fingers. She stirred, sweet moans leaving
her lips. It took everything in me to not crawl between her thick honey
thighs and have my way with her once more. Fuck, did I want to. Her taste
was like a goddamn drug, and I was certain there wasn’t a cure.
Stinging rain drops fell from the sky in a torrential rainfall, and I closed
my eyes for a moment as I listened to the hammering sound of pellets
hitting the metal railing. If Al were here, he would tell me this was the calm
before the storm, before everything hit the fan. The rain wouldn’t let up for
a couple of hours, so we had no choice but to stay put. I headed back inside,
keeping the door slightly ajar because I liked the sound.
Pulling a clean t-shirt over my head, I rummaged through my duffel,
and retrieved the sketchbook and pencils. I never really had time to
leisurely sketch, but when the opportunity presented itself, I didn’t pass it
up. I paged through the pad, taking a trip down memory lane as I flipped
through. Finn bought me the sketch book the same year I opened my first
tattoo shop, and that was over ten years ago. I stopped when I came to a
page with the outline of a skeletal heart, one side lightly shaded in.
Taking a seat on the floor beside the bed, with my back to the frame, I
stretched my legs, crossing one over the other, and let my fingers get to
work. An hour passed before Audrey stirred again, this time a yawn fell off
her lips as she ruffled the blankets. She peered over the edge of the bed, her
wild curls coming into my peripheral vision. The sight of her made my lips
spread into a grin and I twisted to meet her gaze.
“How you feeling?” I asked, picking up another charcoal pencil.
She whined, and a dampened laugh broke past my lips. She was a damn
cutie.
“Baby’s first drunken night.” I said, rising to my feet.
She sat on her knees, legs spread and ass pressed down to the sheets.
Nothing covering her up as she stared into space, probably wondering why
people opted to get drunk for fun if the aftermath included vomiting and a
headache. Ignoring the slight ace in my jeans, I ran a hand through her hair
and kissed her forehead. She groaned, looking through the fringe of her
lashes as her lips split to let out a yawn. I stole that moment to gobble up
her plump figure, and hated myself all over again for wanting to latch my
lips onto her swollen nipples once more.
“We have to wait out the storm for the next couple of hours. So we
won’t be on the road until the afternoon at the latest.”
She shrugged and wiggled that little pixie nose of hers before a sneeze
filled the room. Her arms tugged the blanket, and she slithered her way
back underneath it. A portion of her body stayed revealed, and I locked my
gaze on her sugar sweet lips, buttery soft legs, and squishy arms. I had no
business drilling my gaze into her, yet I couldn’t look away.
“I’m starving.” She said, wrangling the sheets and blanket.
“No surprise there.”
I shoved my feet into my boots and grabbed my wallet.
 “I want pancakes, and —” Another yawn interrupted her words.
“No pancakes, kitten. I’ll be right back.”
I returned twenty minutes later with a plastic bag in one hand and a
soaking umbrella in the other. Tossing the umbrella to the floor, I stepped
inside and toed out of my boots and socks. Audrey moved from the bed to
the bathroom and I inhaled her fruity scented body wash that trickled into
the room from under the bathroom door. The only place that served real
food closed at 2:00 a.m. and their doors wouldn’t open again until 2:00 p.
m.The bathroom door opened, and she walked out, a fluffy towel that didn’t
belong swaddled her luscious body.
“Where’d you get that?”
She looked down and bounced over to the bed. Something oddly
salacious played behind that wide grin. I raised a brow and dumped the
contents of the bag onto the bed. She walked around me, ignoring the pile
of goodies, and headed to the door that conjoined our rooms.
“Oh shit. Let me get your bags, kitten.”
I forgot for a moment that I checked out of that room on the way to the
gas station. A lady with cleaning supplies looked around, giving a soft
smile as I tossed Audrey’s belongings back into her bag. Double checking
she had everything, I did a sweep of the room before heading back into
mine. I shook my head as I shut the door that joined our rooms,
disappointed in myself that I didn’t have enough willpower to stick to the
separate room plan.
Audrey pulled an oversized shirt over her head and stuffed her feet into
a pair of fluffy socks as she munched on a granola bar.
“Better, baby?” I asked, setting her duffel on the bed before taking my
spot back on the floor.
I checked the weather app on my phone. We still had an hour left before
it was safe enough for us to ride out. I picked up my pad, and Audrey
dangled her legs over the bed, her sock covered feet bouncing in the air.
“It’s alright. I usually only eat a dry breakfast if I’m running late.”
I met her gaze, a soft smile playing on her lips as she continued to
snack. Staring at her was like a blessing and a curse all wrapped into one,
and I hated it. I loved her, but deep down, I knew I couldn’t have her.
Silence fell over us, with only the sounds of the rain pattering against the
metal. I settled into my drawing, an offbeat hum from a random song
playing off my lips.
 “Why do you stare at me like that?” The question spilled off her tongue,
piercing the air.
I stilled my movements, digesting the words as they hung in the air.
“Like what?”
She shifted, her feet pressing into the carpet as she lowered herself next
to me. Her intoxicating scent assaulted my lungs, and I couldn’t help but
breathe it in.
“Like you’re never going to see me again.”
I kept my eyes straight ahead, focused on the drawing and not her
puppy soft eyes. Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I sketched,
hoping my silence would warrant a different conversation, or none at all.
“Beau?” Her voice came out in a whisper.
“You know I could never let you go, kitten.” I ran a knuckle down her
cheek. “And I’m staring at you because I can’t have you.”
“Says who?”
I ran the pad of my thumb across the image, smearing in the hard lines.
“Says the government, says our family, and our friends.”
Her fingers played with the wrapper of the bar, and she traded a glance
at it, then me, her mouth opening and closing as she fought to form the right
words. But there weren’t any. There was no explanation good enough on
this God’s green Earth if someone asked why I wanted my daughter.
“But…” Her voice trailed off, her lip slipping in and out of the grasp of
her teeth. “I love you.”
Every time she confessed her feelings for me, it torqued my heart. It
made me feel more like a villain because I couldn’t be honest. Doing so
would just make the situation worse. So much worse.
I inhaled and scratched the edge of the chin. “It’s not love, kitten. It’s
lust.” I side-eyed her, a strained smirk forming on my lips.
“How do you know it’s not love? I could love you, just because I
haven’t experienced—”
“Exactly. You haven’t experienced love. You haven’t experienced
anything. I was your first kiss, Audrey. You…” I closed my eyes, pinching
the bridge of my nose as frustration rolled off my shoulders in waves.
Anticipation of tears falling down her sweet cheeks was high on the
horizon. I folded my arms across my chest, chin pointed to the ceiling as I
chewed on my bottom lip. As much as I loved the rain, I hated it had to rain
now. If we were on the road, we most likely wouldn’t be having this talk.
We would be halfway to California.
“I have experienced love. I know exactly what it feels like because
you’ve shown it to me. So how can you even say that?” She turned to face
me, fire in her eyes. “Last night, you said my pussy belonged to you. That I
belonged to you. That you’ll end the life of any man that touched what
belonged to you. Was it a lie?”
Not a lie. The words I forged in her ears last night hung on every ounce
of truth I had in my body. Denying the fact that she set my soul on fire was
fools thinking because she was the one for me, no matter how hard I tried to
tell myself otherwise.
“Love hurts, kitten. It’s beautiful, but it fucking hurts. Even when it’s
good, it hurts, and when it’s bad,” I said, pointing my pencil back to the
pad.
A beat of silence draped over us, and for a moment, I thought the
conversation fizzled out like a weak fire.
“Do you love me?”
Her question made me pause, and I lifted my pencil. My gaze locked on
hers. “I’d be a goddamn dirty liar if I said I didn’t.”
“But it wouldn’t be painful with me.”
“That’s where you're wrong kitten, loving you would tear me apart into
a million pieces.”
Her thoughts were moving a mile a minute and words piled on the edge
of her tongue, but our conversation was cut short when a knock sounded on
the open door. A cleaning lady stepped in and quickly stepped out when she
caught us sitting on the floor. We got so wrapped up in our conversation
that I didn’t even notice the rain stopped. The sun forced its way through
the thick clouds and I was grateful.
“Come on, kitten, let’s get you dressed so we can get on the road. We’re
closing in on California and we should be there by tomorrow.”
I stood, leaving her on the floor as I walked to the front of the bed and
packed my things. With my socks on, and boots fully laced, I swung my
duffel over my shoulder and headed toward the door before stopping plain
in my tracts.
What the fuck did she just say? Did she just call me a coward?
“Audrey?” Her name rolled off my tongue with the sharpness of a knife.
 She hopped up from the floor, her shirt rising above the mounds of her
juicy ass, and grabbed a stack of clothing from her bag. “I’ll be out in a
minute. Close the door behind you, please.”
 23
BEAU

F uck. Fuck. Fuck

Audrey was going to be the death of me and I didn’t have the
willpower to stop her, either.
 24
BEAU

A udrey came sauntering out of the motel fifteen minutes later with an
expression on her face that screamed pissed off and hungry. With her
eyes on her phone, she didn’t look up at me until she was inches
from the bike and her features scrunched up.
I secured her things and waited for her to put the helmet on before firing
up the engine. The blazing sun dried the seats quicker than expected. I
checked the time on my watch. It was a little past 10:00 a.m., and we had an
eight-hour ride ahead of us before we reached Santa Monica.
Long stretches of empty road greeted us as we rode further out into the
abyss. That’s what I liked most about the mother road. It was empty, the
perfect place to clear your mind. Two hours in and Audrey didn’t say a
peep, but I caught the blaze in her eyes from my right side mirror. Signs for
a fast-food chain came into view and I leaned toward the exit. I knew that
after two to three hours on the bike, her ass got numb, and she needed a
break.
I hated the silence between us, but the one thing she wanted to talk
about I wanted to avoid. I had to, although it took every fiber in my body to
do so. I parked the bike and climbed off. As we inched closer to Santa
Monica, the long stretches of open road and vintage eateries disappeared. I
headed for the door as I passed a glance at the In-N-Out sign. I remembered
when Finn used to bring me here just to get a damn burger and fries. I never
knew what the hype was all about, and it still remained a mystery to me.
Holding the door open, Audrey ducked under my arm, refusing to utter a
word as she held my gaze. I spotted a booth near the wall and walked over.
I sported a soft grin as I pulled the menus from the holders, but she didn’t
even bother to look at me.
“Kitten?”
“You don’t get to call me that,” she deadpanned.
She passed me a glance, the flicker in her burning irises dimming just a
smidge when she saw the shock on my face. She had every right to be
upset. I did something I shouldn’t have, deepening our connection just to
sever it the next morning. But we still had a long way to go before we made
it to California, and I’d be damned if I played the silent treatment game
with her.
I scratched the edge of my grin. “Audrey? Daughter? Which one would
you prefer?”
Hints of sarcasm and annoyance laced my words. She continued to
ignore me and flipped her curly hair over her shoulder as she turned her
attention to her backpack.
“Hiya. Your waiter will be here in just a minute, but I can get drinks
started,” the bubbly waitress said, a wide smile plastered on her face.
Audrey didn’t say anything, and I muffled a groan.
“We’ll have a strawberry lemonade, one coffee and two waters.”
She nodded and hurried off toward the kitchen. Someone approached
with coffee, and I was thankful, but something told me I might need a stiff
drink to get through the next day. Picking up the hot mug, careful to not
spill the coffee over the lip, I sipped, my eyes still hard on Audrey. I loved
watching her, the way she overanalyzed everything. Her fingers moved
gracefully across her notebook, scribbling as she created a new list.
“Another one?” I asked, setting down the mug.
She gave a half shrug. “I guess. Since you tossed out my other one.”
She dug her hands into her backpack and pulled out a comic wrapped in
clear plastic.
Fucking hell.
“For the record, I didn’t—”
The waiter introduced himself, cutting my sentence short. He rattled off
the weekly special, but his words died on his tongue once he looked down
at Audrey. I cleared my throat, and his words tumbled out at lightning
speed. Then his attention was back on my kitten.
“Is that the special edition Ghost Diary?” he asked, leaning in.
 Audrey’s eyes lit up, and then the two were off. Submerged in
conversation about a comic book while I listened like an outsider. I didn’t
like it. Not one bit.
“I don’t think you’re getting paid to chitchat.” I folded my arms over
my chest and leaned back into the seat.
He agreed, pulling out his notepad and pen. “What can I get you?”
“We’ll have—”
“You can ignore the old grump, and I’ll have the cheeseburger with
seasoned fries and a coke,” she said, cutting me off.
“A coke? You don’t drink coke,” I scoffed, shaking my head.
“How would you know what I do and don’t drink? It’s not like you’ve
been around to find out.”
The waiter was caught in the crossfire, standing idle as she threw dagger
after dagger. Slicing his gaze between us, it landed on me and I told him my
order. He wrote it down, snatched up the menus, and walked off. Audrey
rolled her eyes and picked up her comic book, or whatever the fuck it was
called.
I raised a brow, sizing her up as I slowly placed my elbows on the table.
“Listen, kitten. I might have eaten that juicy little pussy of yours last night
due to lapse of judgement, but don’ t think you’re too old for me to spank
that ass.”
I sat back and brought the coffee to my lips. “What’s that you're
reading, anyway?”
“A comic book. Well, it’s officially called manga, and I forgot I packed
it, so…” Her words tapered off.
“Never heard of it.” I said, forcing a conversation out of fucking ashes.
“Makes sense. You’re not really well read.” Her lips drew back in a
snarl as the words slipped off her tongue.
Little shit. The clicking of my belt buckle stole her attention, and her
shoulders leaped when I pulled it through in one swift motion. I recoiled it
around my hand, and set it on the table inches from her.
“What’s that for?” She lowered her comic, her jaw going slack as she
eyed the belt. Then her gaze gripped mine. “You wouldn’t?”
“Try me.”
Her spine snapped straight. “I have boundaries.”
“I don’t.” I winked and moved my coffee cup aside.
 The waiter approached, a circular tray balanced on his fingers. Silence
fell between us as we waited for him to finish unloading. Audrey eyed him,
placing her palm on her cheek as she gave him a warm smile. Where the
fuck was my warm smile?
“What’s your name?” she asked, her words sounding like sunshine.
“Connor. And yours?”
“None-ya,” I spat.
They both gave me a look, and Connor looked down at the belt sitting
idle near the salt shaker. A bout of nervousness sparked his veins, and he
stuttered out his goodbye, but Audrey grabbed his wrist.
“My name’s Audi. Do you want to look at my comic?” She gave him a
wide smile, holding his stare.
Audi? Really? Fuck me.
He didn’t know what to say, torn between my scowling eyes and
Audrey’s warm ones.
“S-Sure. I’m off in a few minutes, but I have to wait for my roommate,
anyway. I’ll be at milkshake bar waiting if you—”
“Perfect.”
“No. No. You need to eat,” I said, pointing a finger at her plate.
Her smile slipped, and her brows pulled together. “I am going to eat.
Just with him.”
She ended her sentence with a peek of her little pink tongue like a god
damn six-year-old and scooted out of the booth. The asshole kid wasn’t any
help in the situation as he offered to take her plate to the milkshake bar.
I watched through gritted teeth, my eyes locked on that fucking asshole.
They laughed as they turned the pages, and he hung off of Audreys every
word. When a booth two seats in front of me freed up, I moved. It was
perfect. Putting me in a direct line of sight of the both of them. Their
interactions seemed tolerable until he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.
No one did that but me. Then he fed her a fry, and then another. His hand
brushed hers as he turned the page, and they both broke out in excitement as
they looked down at the glossy pages.
For a moment it seemed hard to swallow, as if my burger was suddenly
made of rocks. I forced down the last bite, ignoring the feelings kicking me
in the gut as I stared at the woman I loved. I was certain the words that
uttered off my tongue last night weren’t real. I told myself that it was the
alcohol and lust working me over after a long day, but the way my blood
boiled as the seconds passed was another truth I couldn’t deny.
A new waiter came by and dropped off the check and I finished my
water before making a pit stop at the restroom. Re-looping my belt, I
secured it, and ignored the throbbing ache in my jaw from clamping it shut
in anger. I grabbed her backpack, paid the check, and stormed over to to
them.
I cleared my throat. “Done?”
She twisted on her stool, giving me that same tipsy lustful look she gave
me the other night. My cock ached at the sight. She didn’t give me an
answer, and the boneheaded boy she was talking to didn’t even look up.
Taking matters into my own hands, I switched her backpack to my other
hand and wrapped my arm around her waist.
“We’re done,” I said, carrying her out of the door.
She put up a fight, heads turned, and chuckles followed. When we got
to the bike, I set her down, and she stumbled backwards.
“Why are you acting like—”
I didn’t give her a chance to finish because my lips crashed down on
hers, hammering every bone in my body. I reacted, ignored my brain and
gave in to the jealousy that nearly had me wanting to punch that airhead
guy for touching what belonged to me.
 25
AUDREY

H e kissed me again, and this one was just as titillating as the last three.
It seemed like every kiss got deeper, inviting me in to feel the
emotions he tried to hide. I melted into him, forgetting that we were
in the middle of a blazing-hot parking lot with people. When he broke our
kiss, it was as if all the air left my lungs, and I couldn’t breathe.
He looked down at me and ran a thumb across the corner of my mouth.
“Let’s go. We need to hit California before midnight.”
Straddling his bike, I picked up my helmet and turned to find Connor
eyeing us from the entrance, my magna in his hands. I clipped the straps of
the helmet and gave him a weak smile. He returned a limp wave, and Beau
fired up the bike. The closer we inched to California, the more scared I
became. Josi was excited, sending texts almost every hour as she tracked
me with her phone. Josi was my best friend, but seeing her tomorrow with
everything that had happened just left a sour taste in my mouth.
How would I tell her? What would she think? Would I lose her? What
would Graham think? Questions that had no answers swarmed my head,
and I let my body relax into Beau’s. We didn’t speak, but we passed glances
at one another through the side mirror. In what felt like a blink of an eye,
modern civilization returned as we inched closer and it made my stomach
drop. Hours passed, with a few bathrooms and gas breaks in-between. Still,
our conversations remained stale, with long gazes as words collected on our
tongue, with neither one of us saying a word.
“How many more hours?” I asked.
“Three. Why?”
 He released the hair tie from his man bun and a halo of cocoa-brown
tresses with hits of cinnamon fell into his face.
“Oh, I was just wondering.” I bit my lip, contemplating.
“Kitten?” He rested his forearms on the handles and intertwined his
fingers.
“Um…Well…Can we stop so I can get a tattoo?” I asked, perking up as
the sentence rolled off my lips.
He didn’t look amused and looked more concerned than anything. I’ve
always wanted one, and this just felt like the right time. Maybe this was me
wanting to have one more memory to put in my lock box with him before
he left me.
He lifted off the handles and anchored his gaze on mine. “Why does my
kitten want a tat?”
“Because…”
“Because it was on your list? The one I tossed out in Texas?”
As he looked at me with scrutiny, a cloud of shame floated over me. I
didn’t forget what happened that night in Texas, and that was one more
thing I needed to tell Josi.
“No,” I protested, and placed my hands on my hip. “I just want one,
because I’ve always wanted one.”
Tipping his chin to the sky, he pressed his lips to the water bottle, but
his eyes focused on me. I twisted the toe of my boot onto the pavement,
chewing on the inside of my lip as I waited for his answer. When I thought
all hope was lost, the corner of his mouth lifted, that knee weakening grin
coming full bloom.
“Whatever you want, kitten,” he said, shaking his head as he took
another sip.
I did a little happy dance as I snapped my helmet into place and climbed
back on. The low chuckle vibrating from his chest melted with the purr of
the engine and we were off.
We rode for another two hours and then stopped in a town that seemed
too picturesque to be real. The way Beau weaved through the cute little
streets without even looking down at the GPS made me wonder if he
stopped here often. Pulling up to a small tattoo shop, he killed the engine
and waited for me to climb down.
“This is cute,” I said, taking off my helmet.
“Yeah, I know the owner.”
 He placed my helmet under his arm, and I followed him inside.
“Woah,” I whispered.
Neon signage outlined the shop, with a lava mix of violet and blue hues
giving the entire place a pop of color. I got lost in the sight of the place, my
gaze landing on the wall in front of me. A large corkboard sat in the middle
with a collage of charcoal sketches attached to it. I stared, but my interest
fell to the laminated portfolio hanging in a coatrack fashion.
I flipped through the hanging portfolio and took in everything from
skulls to nude women. The heat of Beau’s presence enveloped me, and he
placed his hand on the image I just passed.
“I drew that.” He said, his fingers trailing the outline of the motorcycle
engulfed in flames.
“You did?”
“Yup. Damn, that was over eight years ago.”
I looked up at him, his gaze still on the colorful sketch. “I want.”
“Ha! You need to work up to that kitten. You’ll be in tears the entire
time.”
I grumbled, and he ran a hand through my hair as I continued to explore
the drawings. A woman’s voice rounded the corner, but I didn’t turn around.
Beau walked away, and I drowned out their conversations as I examined the
numerous knickknacks on a stand next to me.
“I like those also,” the woman said, closing in on the stand that held
handmade rings.
Electric-pink hair formed two buns on the top of her head, paired with
icy blue eyes, and two tiny pierced dimples.
“Baby’s first tat?” She pulled out a sketchpad and a pencil. “Any
ideas?”
I tapped a finger to my chin, deciding between a butterfly or my mom’s
initials. “Um, I was thinking—”
“Something small, less than six inches with light fill.” Beau said,
interrupting me.
The pink-haired woman gave a wide smile, and I rolled my eyes at
Beau.
“I like butterflies,” I said, retrieving my phone to pull up the one I
saved.
She leaned over and pressed her tatted elbows into the glass case. “Oh,
the purple emperor. It’s a beauty. We can make that work.”
 She walked away, then returned with a sheet of paper and a pen. “ID?”
I froze, remembering he locked my purse in one of the side satchels.
Beau wrapped his arms around my waist and took the pen, filling in all the
boxes on my behalf.
“She’s eighteen.” He said, dotting my initials on all five lines.
“Are you sure?” the woman shot back from around the corner.
Her question went unanswered, and then the heat of his breath made a
shiver run down my spine. Nipping at the shell of my ear, he let a lazy
moan seep in, shooting frissons through my core.
“I’m fucking sure,” He said, the words loud enough for her to hear, but
low enough to send my pulse scattering.
He hovered the pen in front of my eyes, and I snatched it, signing my
Jane Doe on the dotted line.
“Will it hurt?”
“Just a little sting.”
“Okay, I’m all ready.” She said, ushering me back.
I swallowed, still thinking about the pain and the needle. Beau saw the
worry on my face and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.
“Go, before you scare yourself out of it.”
I took a deep breath, and then abruptly let it out when he slapped my
ass. “Ouch,” I hissed.
With his eyes still on me, I disappeared into the back. A long leather
bound chair stretched out in the middle of the room, and I walked over.
“Sit, sweetie,” she said, plopping down on the round stool.
The room smelled of lavender, and had hints of purple and grey pastels
sprinkled about. This room looked much different that the rest of the shop.
It had a calm about it.
I jumped when her gloves snapped against her skin, and turned to look
in her direction. She caught my wandering eyes and pressed down on a
button behind the chair.
“When Beau told me he was having a baby girl, I didn’t believe him. I
thought he was shitting me.” She shook her head and a blue bubble
expanded between her lips before it popped.
“You know, Beau?” I lifted my head, curious about the objects on the
tray beside me.
A weak smile spread across her lips. “You could say that. We go way
back.”
 Her fingers landed on my leg, the pads of her gloved fingers like
spider’s legs as she inspected it. “Here?” she asked.
I looked down at the space where her fingers pointed. “Uh, yeah. That’s
fine.”
Liquid rattled in a bottle, followed by a few spritzes toward my leg. I
eyed her movements, and let her words flow in one ear and out the other.
Torn between watching her clean my skin, and my racing thoughts, I let my
gaze fall on the vase in front of me as I counted the petals on the fake rose.
“I’m not going to fill it all the way in, because that might be painful for
your first time.” She wiped my leg once more with a clean pad and tossed it
on the tray. “It’s going to sting a little, but if you need me to stop, just let
me know.”
I nodded and tapped the toe of my boots together. With the outline on
my leg, she turned on the machine, and a slight buzzing sound filled the air.
I looked away, the anticipation of the sting forcing my eyes closed. I hissed,
my breath tangling in my throat with the first touch. Seconds turned to
minutes, and after five, the sting seemed to fade.
“When did you meet your dad? He told me about you, but you didn’t
grow up with him, right?” She asked, her gaze hard pressed on my leg.
“A few days ago. When did you meet him?” I didn’t mean to pry, but
my brain wouldn’t stop until I knew more.
She lifted the needle. “About fourteen years ago. He came into the bar I
worked at, and I was a new bartender. I made his drink wrong and he never
let me forget it.” Returning the needle, her thumb pressed into my leg.
“He’s a good guy, even though he forgot about our planned dates back in
the day.”
“Dates?” My words pierced the air at the same time as his, and he
appeared around the corner.
He held an empty bottle in one gloved hand while his other one hung in
the air. “Airing out my dirty laundry over there?”
An unexpected chuckle fell off her lips, and she shook her head. They
continued their playful banter, and I sat, ignoring the pinch in my core. The
onset of my silence made him saunter over, his lips inches from my nose.
“Look at my big girl. Getting tatted and shit.” He bopped a kiss on my
nose, and a knee melting grin formed on his lips.
“She’s doing great. I’m almost done.”
 Fifteen more minutes passed, and then the buzzing stopped. I tilted my
leg inward, my curious eyes locking on the raised skin.
“What do you think?” She asked, hands up in the air.
I smiled. “I love it.”
I did love it. It was perfect. A cute little butterfly that would forever
remind me of my mom. The woman cleaned the area around the fresh tattoo
and placed a bandage that looked like a second skin over it.
“Thanks,” I said as I climbed down from the chair.
She tossed the contents of the tray in a special trash bin and tore off her
gloves. “Glad you like it. Your dad will tell you how to take care of it, but
no large bodies of water, no pools, and keep the bandage on for the next -
four days.”
I nodded, noting her instructions, and headed toward the front of the
shop. A couple sat near the wall, and Beau stood near the glass case. He
held his hand out, and I took the helmet. Eager to get a better look at my
new ink, I walked outside. As I examined, I caught Beau leaned into the
glass, the pink haired woman sporting a soft smile. They both looked in my
direction and I looked down as I pretended to not care what they were
talking about.
The door swung open and Beau stepped out, somehow looking even
sexier than ever. “Ready, baby?”
I clipped my helmet into place and climbed on after him, my grip tighter
than usual around his muscular midsection as he fired up the bike.

As we crept closer to California, Beau took a small detour, providing me

one last Route 66 attraction before it all came to an end. I looked onward,
vast land as far as the eye could see, with a large bridge smacked dab in the
middle of a canal. Woah. He picked up speed as we approached, and the
bridge seemed like it never ended as we rode across it. A large sign with the
words LONDON BRDIGE TOUR appeared to the left of us, and he took
the exit once we made it across.
Thankful he didn’t opt for a guided tour, we took the stairs back to the
top of the bridge and found a spot to look out at the canal. He rested one
elbow on the concrete banister and crossed one foot over the other.
 “What?” I asked, gnawing on my bottom lip.
He shrugged. “Nothing.” He twirled one of his silver rings around his
finger. “Just can’t stop thinking about how you’re a total badass and all.”
I giggled. “Badass?” I pulled my hair around to the side of my neck and
twisted the curls around my fingers.
“Total badass. Riding on the back of my bike like you fucking own it,
shooting daggers at me with no remorse, and taking your first tat like a
champ. My girl.”
“You got a tattoo too?” I inspected his veiny large hand, reading the
cursive words on the side of his index finger.
“Just a little something, something.” He raised a brow, his eyes
tethering to mine.
I looked down at the words. “Pretty Lies? What does that mean?”
He bit down on his lower lip, his gaze wandering to the vast sights in
front of him. “It’s what I tell myself whenever I look at you.” He came in
closer, the scent of his cologne coating the air. “Because I fucking love you
in all the wrong ways, and I have to pretend I don’t.”
“Then don’t pretend.” The words slipped off my lips with a quickness
and for once I didn’t wish I could force them back down.
Turning his back to the setting sun, he leaned into the railing and
propped one foot up. With his chin tipped toward the sky, he closed his
eyes, and a guest of warm wind flowed between us. My thoughts went back
to the conversation we had this morning, his reluctance to even give us a
chance because of the uncertainty, but I didn’t care about the consequences.
Beau gave me something I’d only experienced from my mom. Love. He
showed it the moment he met me, and I wasn’t ready to give that up.
“What you thinking about, kitten?”
“Nothing, just stuff, school, life…” My words evaporated into the air.
An ominous laugh filled the air, sending a frisson through my stomach.
“I know a little about life.”
“My life is complicated,” I said, blowing out my cheeks.
“Ha, hardly, baby.” The pads of his fingers brushed my cheek before
tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “But let me hear it. What’s got my
kitten all in a stir?”
I fidgeted with the Polaroid camera, snapping another photo of him
although he hated it. “Graham,” I said and snatched the photo from the exit
slot. “Now that I graduated from high school he wants to ship me off to
college, but I’m not sure I want to go. I mean, I want to go, but not so soon.
But if I don’t go, then…” I fanned the photo as Beau slowly came into
view.
“Then?”
“Then I’ll have to leave. Mom put some funds up for me, but
apparently, he doesn’t want to waste anymore time with me ,so,” I said with
a half shrug.
“You want me to beat him up? Give him a good one right in that tight
iron jaw of his? Maybe a good punch will loosen some of those
Frankenstein bolts preventing him from smiling.”
I rolled my eyes and placed the photo in the envelope. “He knows
jiujitsu”
“Jiujitsu my ass. He hasn’t fought me yet.”
I giggled, and Beau pulled me into his chest. “You know you’re
amazing, right?” he asked, clipping a finger under my chin.
“Not as amazing as Josi. She’s done everything and I’ve only—”
“Stop it.”
His words cut me off, his eyes pinned to mine. I didn’t know why, but
every time he looked at me like that, my breath backed up in my lungs and
it felt like was battling to breathe.
“You’ve done something that scared you. Remember? You’ve drank
liquor that wasn’t in a red cup, got a tattoo, had some amazing fucking
food, and….”
Had my first kiss.
Let my dad give me a mind-blowing orgasm
Fell in love.
Rapid fire heartbeats pounded my chest as his forehead pressed against
mine, then a loud scream from behind had me whirling my head around.
“Come on, kitten. We gotta get on the road.”
He took my hand and raised it to his lips. Our gazes lingered, and
everything seemed to disappear once again. Just for a moment, and it was
all I needed before stepping back into reality.
Hours later, we arrived in Santa Monica and I inhaled the salty air as we
powered down the boulevard. We pulled into the entrance of a high end
hotel and killed the engine. I wobbled off, my ass more numb than ever
paired with legs that felt like jelly. I was relieved to be standing in front of
the French doors of a five star hotel after spending the last three nights in
vintage motels with limited amenities.
“Good enough for you, kitten?” He asked, as he unlatched our bags.
“Ha. Ha.” I picked up my duffel and swung my backpack over one
shoulder. “At least there won’t be any questionable stains on the carpet.”
His brows knitted at my statement, and I bounced off into the air-
conditioned lobby. Not a single soul appeared inside, and I sat down in one
of the large cushioned chairs. The clock on the wall read 11:45 p.m. I let my
head fall back, and then it shot up when my phone dinged.

JOSI BEAR
You made it!!! OMG I see you tomorrow! Eek!
AUDREY
Finally. Did your grandma make those special chocolate chip
cookies?
JOSI BEAR
Fuck yea she did. I ate like 5 of them already, but I saved
some for you.
AUDREY
Mmm.
JOSI BEAR
I have so much to tell you, and I can’t wait to hear about your
trip and your dad.

My stomach fell sharply when my eyes scanned her last message. I couldn’t
lie to her. I didn’t have it in me, but the thought of telling her the truth
scared me.
AUDREY
Yea. Can’t wait.

Too busy in my cloud of thoughts, I paid no attention to Beau until he

was motioning me toward the elevators. While we waited, we both gobbled
up a few cups of pineapple-infused cold water, consuming cup after cup
before the elevator dinged. The ride up was swift, and when the doors
peeled back, a long carpeted hallway greeted us. We passed large cream-
colored doors, before stopping between two at the end of the hall. Without
saying a word, he dug out two keycards and handed me one.
“I thought you might want some space tonight. We’ve had a long trip.”
I don’t need space. I just need you.
I didn’t take it. My body froze and my eyes locked on the keycard
pinched between his fingers. After a few seconds, he dropped his duffel and
scanned my door. It clicked, and he pushed it open, placing my bag in the
doorway so it wouldn’t close shut.
“Oh,” the word fell off my lips in almost a whisper.
He raised a brow. “Don’t be sad, kitten. Plus, you're safe and I’m right
next door.” He scanned his keycard across the pad and pushed the door
open.
I’m not sad. I was just hoping you’ll eat my pussy again or take my
virginity or say you love me one more time.
“Goodnight, baby girl.”
“Night,” I said, pushing my bag in with my foot before letting the door
close shut.
Planting face first on the soft bed, I rolled onto my back and eyed the
door that joined our rooms. I wondered if it was locked, and what would
happen if I just walked through? My phone buzzed, and I pulled it from my
back pocket.
JOSI BEAR
Cuddling up with BOB tonight.
AUDREY
Who’s BOB?
JOSI BEAR
BOB, girl. Battery Operated Boyfriend.
Wait, did you pack yours like I told you to?
AUDREY
Yea, but it’s still in the box.
JOSI BEAR
Have fun with that. *wink*
Text me when you wake up in the morning. Don’t forget.
AUDREY
K!
 I let my phone slide out of my hand and stared at the wall to the left of
me. A string of curse words seeped through, followed by something falling
to the floor. Just hearing Beau say the word “fuck” in a thick, throaty tone
sent a zap of electricity straight to my clit, and I groaned in frustration. I
guess I’ll be cuddling up with Bob tonight as well.
 26
BEAU

I t didn’t matter how hard I pressed the pillow into my face. The siren
song of her vibrator called to me, taunted me, made my cock rock hard
with no decorum. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Turning on my side, I scanned the
alarm clock. The blue light read 1:45 p.m. I rose, my legs moving without
me, and stopped in front of the door that connected our rooms. I pressed my
palm to the door and contemplated this moment as I froze my movements. I
had two choices. I could ignore the craving like a sensible man would. Like
a man who had morals and listened to society's norms, or I could walk
through the door and reject everything that screamed wrong about this
whole thing.
My brain understood the consequences, and my heart dried up in my
chest at the thought of touching her, but my soul ignited with need as each
whimper rolled off her plump pink lips. I needed to touch and taste the
juices that would soon run down her inner thighs. I missed her candied
syrup, and just rehashing the memory of what I did to her sweet pussy the
other night made my cock pulse. I listened to her whine in frustration and it
stirred up feelings I hadn’t felt in a long time. Her whimpers seized my
system and gnawed at me like a rash that wouldn’t go away. Ignoring her
would be suicide, so I only had one option. I let my hand slide to the
doorknob and gently twisted it.
A sliver of light bled through the dark curtains, and landed right on her
ass. The buzzing noise seized and a small part of me died thinking she got
off all on her own, but then a click sounded and the buzz restarted but died
after a few short seconds. She let out a breath, then a whine. I knew that cry,
laced in frustration when your body is begging for a release, but you just
can’t seem to reach the cliff.
I stepped closer to the bed and feasted on the sights. Her ass was high in
the air, and legs partly spread with her hand between them. Her other arm
rested on the pillow, her face partly covered by a curtain of curls. I didn’t
know she had a vibrator with her and a spike of jealousy taunted me as I
looked at the bright pink toy. I wanted to be the one to make her feel good,
and send her cunt pulsing from my touch. Not some fucking toy.
I rounded the bed, careful not to make any sudden movements that
would alert her. The kick of the AC coming to life drowned out my heavy
breathing, and I inched closer. I stood right in front of her bed. The flake of
light that cascaded into the room was the barrier that hid her from me.
Behind it, she didn’t know I was here, but once I stepped into it, she would.
I walked right up to it as iron bands formed around my chest. I hoped
the good angel would come out and knock some sense into me, but that was
a fool’s dream. The only angel dancing on my shoulder was the devil
himself, edging me on to take something that didn’t belong to me. To take
her.
My cock ached, and drops of pre-cum leaked into the inside of my
boxers. One taste of her on my tongue and I would explode and fuck did I
want to taste her again. Al always said I made bad decisions, and I never
believed him, but now I did. I believed him with every bone in my body
because this was the worst decision of all, one that couldn’t be swept under
the rug. One that would change everything between us. There was no
coming back from fucking your daughter and snatching away the veil of
virginity. She’ll remember it forever. Still, my feet stayed planted. My eyes
latched to the sweet virgin cunt in front of me.
Shaking away my thoughts, I let my boxers float to the floor and
stepped out of them, my cock aching with each movement. I hovered over
her, taking her in as I inhaled the vanilla scent floating in the air. With
closed eyes, she let another moan drip off her lips and shifted. I leaned in,
my lips inches from her cheek, and placed one hand on her pillow and the
other over her mouth.
She struggled, her pulse slamming into her chest at the sudden
interruption. “Shh, kitten.” My words purred into her ears.
Her spine eased, and I released my hand. My fingers toyed with her
curls, massaging her scalp as her eyelids fluttered at the sensation. I kissed
her shoulder, slowly lowering my lips down the slope of her back until they
landed on her ass. When she felt my breath near her pussy, she opened her
legs a little more. I teased and made circles around her clit with my thumb
before I flicked the needy bud.
She moaned, her head digging into the pillow.
I flicked again, my tongue diving deeper as my fingers pressed into the
soft skin of her ass. Her rich juices fused with her period blood, the metallic
taste peppering my tongue as I sucked, but it didn’t stop me. I was too
greedy to pull my lips away.
“Be a good girl and come on Daddy’s tongue.” I said, breaking contact
for a moment.
I returned my lips and ravaged her like I never had a decent meal in my
life. If I was twenty years younger, I would have blown my load the
moment her body went rigid, but I refused to waste my cum. I held on as
she tried to run from me and relished in the raspy moans coating the air as
she came on my lips.
“Please. Please,” she whined, pain lacing between her words as she
begged me to stop.
A tint of red coated her inner thighs and the monster in me knew there
was no way I could turn back now. I stood and slid my tongue over my
bottom lip to capture the sacred taste. The bed dipped as I laid beside her
and I wrapped my arm around her belly, forcing her back into my chest. My
hand found her ass, and she moaned when I spread her cheek. I wanted her
exposed to me, her tight virgin hole easily accessible. I slid a finger inside
her cunt, and she tightened around the intrusion. Fuck me.
“Kitten, are you going to let me fuck you?”
She nodded, her legs spreading as I inched my finger further inside.
“Use your words. I need to hear your voice. I need to hear you say it.”
She swallowed, fighting my thick finger as it inched deeper. “Fuck me.”
“Fuck me, what?”
Her voice quivered. “Fuck me, Daddy.”
I peppered kisses on her shoulder until my lips landed on the shell of
her ear. I promised it would hurt, but the pain would be fleeting. I fingered
her tight hole a little more as her walls grew wet. I wanted to feed her my
cock so fucking bad, but I had to be gentle with my kitten. She wasn’t some
quick fuck at the bar. I wanted this to be the best fuck she’ll ever have, even
if it was with me.
 Retrieving my finger, I stroked my cock; the motion forcing out a low
moan. I could blow my load right now and still have more for her. It leaked,
the head hot and sullen. The minute I lined the tip up with her entrance, she
winced.
“Shh, kitten. I got you. Daddy’s gonna make sure it fits.” I snaked my
hand around her throat and gave a light squeeze.
I pressed into her, her mouth opening as a gasp of air expelled her lungs.
Fuck, seeing her eyelids flutter at the new sensation made the monster in
me want to pummel her that very instant. I held steady, content in my
suffering as I slid out at a sloth pace. Her breath released, and then I slid
back in, molding myself against her virgin walls. She clamped down like a
vice around my flesh, and a ragged moan pushed past my lips. I repeated
my actions, eager to give her all of me. With each thrust, I picked up speed,
leaving her breath stagnant in her lungs as I plunged forward.
“Look at you, kitten, taking my cock like a fucking good girl.” I fanned
her curls away from her face as my lips plucked at her earlobe.
I maintained a steady pace as her pussy suffocated my girth. I didn’t
know how long I would last, not with my balls tight with the threat of a
release.
The skin on her ass turned pale as my fingers pressed into it, and I
plunged in and then out. Nearly losing control as I fucked her like a animal
in heat.
“Kitten?”
Wretched moans fell off her lips, and her chin drifted toward the ceiling.
I loved the way her tits bounced as I slammed in and out of her. I lowered
my lips to her ear and breathed her in. “Tell me who this pussy belongs to.”
“D-daddy.”
“Who? Say it again. Let me hear it.”
With her fingers tight around the white sheets, she opened her mouth.
“Daddy’s pussy.”
Hearing her say the words tipped me to the edge, but I fought it. Not
yet. When she took my load, I needed to be looking into her eyes. Into her
soul. She needed to see the man that loved her so much it physically hurt.
“That’s my girl. Look at you, taking my cock like it was made for you.
So fucking proud of my kitten.”
Fuck, her body was pure beauty. Her hair was now a halo of wild curls
spread on the pillow. Her muscles tensed as I worked her, rearranging her
insides as I fucked her good and hard. When I pinched her hard nipple
between my thumb and finger, it forced a shudder from her throat.
I almost died when I retracted from her tight walls. I twisted her until
she laid flat on her back and lifted her legs above her head. She exhaled, her
chest rising when I rammed back in, balls deep. I fucked her harder this
time. Wet sucking sounds coated the air, and she withered beneath me.
Undiluted lust stirred behind her brown eyes and I engraved it into my
memory.
Her mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. I latched our gazes
and leaned forward until her feet damn near touched the headboard. I
fucking loved this, leaning over her with all my weight, with my cock balls
deep inside her virgin cunt. She belonged to me.
I let my lips brush against hers as I lifted my hips before slamming them
back down. The hum of the AC kicked off, amplifying the wet sound of me
feeding her my cock inch by inch. Fuck, it was beautiful, and it brought me
to the edge. Her head pressed into the pillow, exposing the rivulets of her
throat. Then she let out another moan, followed by the word that sent me
over the edge.
The moment she cried “Daddy” my muscles grew taunt and my breath
clawed through my lungs, followed by a bellowed moan as I exploded
inside her. I shattered and my cock pulsed, dumping a steady stream of
warm seed inside my baby girl.
Sucking in air to catch my breath I lowered my face to hers and stole
her lips. We were tongue in cheek as I deepened our kiss and my heart
gunned into overdrive. That was it, the feeling I’ve been craving for so
long.
I broke our kiss and brushed her hair out of her face. “Naughty kitten.
Tsk-tsk”
She whimpered, “I’m not naughty. You just have no self-control.”
I raised a brow. “I got something for that little mouth of yours.”
She looked down, curious to see the mess I made inside of her, and I
was eager to let her see. I lifted and pulled out slowly. My seed oozed out of
her like sap and I pressed my thumb to her sensitive clit. Her eyes fluttered
before easing back on mine. Those sweet brown eyes, lazy and intoxicated
with lust, and fuck did it just make me hard all over again.
I fondled her clit, and her body soon awakened to the sensation, her
back arching as she tried to control the feeling of coming once more. I
unhinged her fingers from the sheet and placed them between her wet slit.
“Come for me, kitten. Be a good girl and show me how you get off.”
I spread her legs and let her toes rest on my chest. A fit of nervousness
etched its way into her features, and it was the cutest fucking thing. She
started slowly, her pointer finger circling her swollen clit.
“That’s my girl. Don’t be shy.” I said, sliding one finger inside.
I finger fucked her, my eyes locked on her body. I knew it wouldn’t take
her long to reach the peak, not after being fucked good and hard. Her
muscles tensed, followed by pleas as she sang the song I so desperately
wanted to hear. A moan louder than her first one flowed off her lips as the
orgasm took over her, and I slid my thumb past her lips to mask it.
Witnessing her reach the peak before falling back down was like seeing
into her soul. She was at her most vulnerable, and the thought of any other
man making her feel this way infuriated me.
 27
AUDREY

T here were no words for the way I felt right now. It was a mixture of so
many things that if I tried to pinpoint them all, I probably would have
cried. As I came down from my orgasm, Beau locked his lips back on
mine, further solidifying our bond. I always imagined what it would feel
like to have sex, replaying the horrible scenarios that Josi warned me about
over and over as I stared at the wall. But Beau smashed them all to pieces.
He took my virginity and made me his.
“Love it when you daydream,” he said as he wrapped a plush towel
around me.
He took my hand and walked me out of the bathroom. Since the sheets
in my bed were ruined, he packed up my things and brought them into his
room, just like last time.
“Don’t you wish now we just had one room?” I asked, plopping down
on the edge of the bed.
He looked through my duffel and pulled out a clean, oversized shirt and
a pair of panties. I snatched them and stuffed them under my leg.
“After what I’ve just seen? You try to hide panties?”
“There not the cute kind,” I whined. They were the kind that kept your
elephant sized pad in place all night.
He shook his head, a lazy smirk playing on his lips as he retrieved more
items from my bag. He tossed a pad in my direction, and I jumped off the
bed and headed into the bathroom. I fumbled with the pad and my panties
as my thoughts moved a mile a minute. It was weird, losing my virginity
and not being able to call Josi and tell her about. A pit formed in my
stomach, replacing the warmth that filled my chest a few minutes ago.
 I thought about how to break the news to her, but coming up with a
feasible solution was pointless because I was still wrapping my head around
the fact that my dad took my virginity. But letting him have it, have me felt
right. I wasn’t scared or nervous when he touched me. He made me feel
safe, loved and wanted. I didn’t have to second guess my feelings with
Beau.
“You okay kitten?” he said through the door, his voice low.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
I stepped into my panties, being careful of the saniderm bandage that
covered the tender flesh on my lower leg. As I pulled them up, a yawn fell
off my lips. By the time we climbed into bed and killed the lights, it was
already 3AM.
I laid awake on his chest as time escaped us. Neither one of us could
sleep, although we both needed it. With each breath, his hard chest rose and
fell, and I closed my eyes for a moment as I memorized the rhythm, gently
tracing my fingers over the ink on his chest.
“Kitten?”
“Yeah,” I said in a whisper.
I lifted and placed my chin on his chest.
“Go on.”
“Go on, what?” I perked up and climbed all the way on top of him until
my lips were inches from his.
“What’s on your mind? Tell me.”
I found solace that he always encouraged me to speak my mind, even if
the conversations weren’t the most upbeat. It was something Graham never
did. A few seconds passed, silence settling over us once more.
“Why did you leave all those years ago?”
He let out a groan, followed by a inhale, and for a moment I felt bad for
asking the one question I’ve been dying to know the answer to for years. I
let my head fall against the side of his neck and waited.
He cleared his throat and let his hand run down my back. “Because I
thought your life would be better without me in it.”
“But why? Why would you think that?”
His fingers brushing loose strands of hair out of my eyes as he trailed a
thumb down my cheek.
“Because I’ve made mistakes, done bad things, hurt people.”
I sat up and slid to his right side. “Hurt people?”
 Another heavy breath escaped, and he placed an arm over his face,
leaving only the lower half visible.
“Yeah. I hurt a guy real bad when you were young.”
“Kinda like how you hurt that guy who tried to touch me?” I asked,
picking a piece of lint off my shirt.
“Worse, he nearly died. He was also my boss. I beat him an inch from
his life because he had a bad habit of putting his hands on women. If he had
died, I would be in prison with a life sentence.” He combed his hands down
his face. “Your mom and I were a one-night stand, but we tried to make it
work for you. But things went from sugar to shit when I lost my job and a
few months after you were born. Then….” His words trailed off, as if he
needed a break to keep going.
“Oh.”
“Oh?” He let a playful smile dance on his lips as he trailed a knuckle
down my arm. “Don’t ever think for a second I left you because I didn’t
love you. I loved you, and I still love you, but something deep down at the
time made me believe you wouldn’t love me. Not if you knew what type of
man I was. I thought your life would be better without me in it.”
“But aren’t you still the same man you were all those years ago?”
A crackle of laughter broke the barrier, and I couldn’t stop the smile
forming on my lips when his laugh pierced the air.
“Yeah, I am. Just older, but none the wiser.” He chuckled, the moment
of laughter vanishing into the air. “I tried to come back around when you
were a little older, but your mom wasn’t having it.”
My mouth plopped open. “Really? I didn’t know that. Why would she
keep me from you?” The last words left my lips with a little more bite.
“Don’t blame your mom, kitten. With my shitty track record, and barrel
of broken promises, she was only trying to protect you. She didn’t want you
to get your hopes up. Ya know?”
I shrugged, and a wave of anger brewed at the back of my mind. My
mom had good intentions, but then she died, leaving me all alone and I
wondered just how much easier my life would have been if I knew I had
someone else to lean on who truly loved me.
“But you can’t be too upset, though. Our timing was impeccable.” An
ominous grin broke the seams of his lips as he locked his gaze on mine.
I crawled back on his chest, melting into the warmth of him. “True.
Then I really would have had to settle for tentacle tongue as my first real
kiss.” I rested my chin back on his chest. “I didn’t know you knew big
words,” I joked.
He returned my bashfulness with a slap to the ass before wrapping his
strong arms around me. “What am I going to do with you, kitten?”
“Keep me, love me, and replace my special edition comic manga you
made me leave behind.”
“You aren’t the forgetful type, are you?”
“Nope,” I said, letting the p pop off my tongue.
“So, what’s the grand plan now? Now you’re stuck with me forever and
you—”
A yawn cut my sentence short and Beau rolled over, the covers now
over my body.
“That’s enough for now. Get some sleep, kitten.”
He lowered his lips down to mine, giving me a long, deep kiss before
cradling me in his arms. I didn’t care if he broke every other promise in the
book, as long as he promised to keep me, because he was the only one I
wanted.
 28
BEAU

I woke to the sun high in the sky, and the sound of the waves crashing
into the shore. A salty breeze swept past the pearl white curtains
hanging in front of the deck window, bringing with it the salty scent of
the ocean. I let the pads of my fingers crawl down Audrey’s soft skin. She
nestled her head in the curve of my neck, and
I combed my fingers through her hair. A low chuckle sounded off my
lips as I eyed her oversized t-shirt sprawled out on the floor. She
complained she couldn’t sleep in it because she needed to feel my skin
against hers. So she lay on top of me, topless, with her hand firmly on the
same spot of my heart.
I couldn’t even fathom the thought of being with someone else as I
looked at her. Everything fell into the place when she was in my arms. I had
no choice but to make this work. For her and for us. I slipped out from
under her, jonesing for a smoke and a quick hot shower. My eyes locked on
her duffel, and the little pink toy peeking out. I picked it up, her scent still
fresh on the tip, and it egged me on. I had a hunch to toss it off the balcony
because I wanted to be the only person to make her come, but I shot it back
in her bag and headed for the bathroom.
A hot shower was everything I needed to get my day started, but when I
stepped out, I caught my baby girl’s eyes locked on me. She stood in the
doorway, frozen, her feet planted on the bathroom floor, and her eyes on my
cock. It ached, memories of last night coming full throttle as I looked at her
naked, soft body in front of me. I had the pleasure of breaking in her virgin
pussy, and molding that hole, but I had yet to work her mouth. I reached for
my vape, and inhaled, then let the smoke flow out of my nose. Her tongue
peeked out and glided across her plump bottom lip. I raised a finger,
motioning her to come closer.
Her nipples hardened as the cool air swept over her body and I wanted
to eat her up. I wanted to press my face into the softness of her round belly
and squeeze her ass as I inhaled her. She inched closer until her pink
painted toes were standing on the plush bath mat. She stood, her right foot
tipped inward, with her eyes on my cock. She drank me up and clamped her
gaze on mine as she lowered to her knees without saying a word. Carnal
desire took possession of me as I stared down into her brown eyes. So
innocent, so sweet.
“Kitten? Are you going to let Daddy take your mouth?” I stroked her
cheek, staring into her bedroom eyes.
She swallowed, a pinch of nervousness settling in as my cock dangled
mere inches from her lips. The tip of her tongue ran between her lips once
more, and I pulsed, a small drop of precum pooling at the tip.
“I—Um, I—”
“Shh. I’ll show you what to do.” I bent down until my lips touched the
shell of her ear. “I’ll show you how to suck my cock like a good fucking
girl.”
I let my hands get tangled in her curls, and pressed her lips to the
swollen bulb of my cock, forcing it inside. I let her pacify the tip, and her
tongue swabbed nervously around it, yet the sensation sent an electric
current down my spine. She kept her eyes on me, needy with approval, as
she sucked.
“I stroked her cheek. “Daddy’s gonna fuck your mouth real good, baby.
Are you going to be a good daughter and take all of me?”
She nodded, her lips still tight around the bulb of my flesh. I removed
her hands from her belly and placed them firmly on my thighs. Her touch
was light, for now. But I expected her nails digging to my skin once I slid
all way in.
“So good kitten. Open wider for me so Daddy can stuff your mouth.”
The slit of her lips widened a bit more, and I fed her. She gasped at the
intrusion. Fuck, her mouth was like a goddamn dream. I held her steady, my
fingers tangled in her soft hair. I locked her in my grasp, and inched further
until her throat rippled with reject, then I slid out. Her lips trembled as her
dainty fingers crawled up my thighs, and I slid it back in, snatching the
breath from her lungs.
 “That’s it, kitten, that’s my girl. Fuck, look at you making room for
me,” I said, and wiped away the drool seeping out the corners of her
mouth.
My self-control was slipping the harder I fucked her sweet little mouth.
She suffocated on my girth, her breath high in her chest as she forced air
into her starved lungs. Tears plucked at the corners of her eyes, and it would
only be a matter of minutes before they fell over her thick lashes.
Low whimpers, fused together with wet gurgles, the sound floating
above us with each thrust.
“Fuck, look at you, baby. So fucking beautiful on your knees with my
cock in your mouth.
I gave her all of me, and her throat rippled against my shaft as her
tongue thrashed against my aching cock. I tried to hold off because I loved
looking into her lustful eyes, but then she gagged, and I lost all control.
My muscles tensed as if crackling ice had crawled down my spine, and I
held her head steady. “Eyes on me, kitten,” I said in a breathy tone.
I released inside her mouth, forcing her to take every drop of my cum.
Eyes brimming with tears locked my gaze, and I stroked my thumb across
her cheek. Sliding out of the warmth of her mouth nearly killed me, and
fuck did I want to take her all over again.
“You’re fucking beautiful kitten. Daddy’s so proud of you.”
She looked down, her lips tightly pressed together. I clipped a finger
under chin to expose the column of her throat and she swallowed. I scooped
her up off the floor and held her in my arms as I took her lips.
“Hungry?” I asked, breaking our kiss.
She giggled, and it was the sweetest fucking sound. “Yeah. Can we get
pancakes?”
“Anything for my sweet girl.”

Riding the last two hours with my baby girl pressed into me was bitter
sweet. When we slowed and turned the corner, I couldn’t deny the rock that
formed in my throat as we crept closer to her destination. We had so many
miles between us before we reached California that time almost seemed
endless.
 “Audikins!” a soft voice yelled from the porch as I pulled into the
driveway.
I killed the engine, and her friend bounced down the steps. She
reminded me of my kitten. Cute, happy, and full of life. Audrey climbed off
after me and ran into her arms. I unclasped her things and headed for the
door.
“Wow!” her friend said, peering up at me.
I raised a brow, a lazy grin playing across my lips as her eyes followed
on my movements. They giggled and exchanged whispers, and my heart
spiked with warmth.
“Can I sit on your bike?” she asked.
“Sure, but be careful of the hot pipes.” I dropped Audrey’s bags and
headed back down the steps.
Audrey watched her friend pose on the bike, and take selfie after selfie.
I stalked toward her and wrapped my arms around her waist.
“My sweet girl,” I whispered in her ear.
She spun around, her big brown eyes now filled with worry. I hated
when she looked at me like that. I stroked her cheek, and she placed her
hand over mine.
“Where are you going now?”
“I have to go visit an old friend. He lives a few towns over, and then I
have to make a stop in Los Angeles.” I placed my forehead to hers and
breathed her in. “Aren’t you going to ask me that one question you’ve been
dying to know?”
Her brows furrowed, and then her mouth formed into an ‘O’. “Yes. Yes.
Yes. Please.”
“You whimper.”
Her shoulder slumped. “What? That’s it? This whole time?”
I waggled my brows up and down playfully and pulled her into my
embrace. Fuck, I was gonna miss her.
“Audikins. Let’s get ice cream,” her friend said, her attention still on my
bike.
I stepped back and placed a kiss on Audrey’s cheek, although I was
dying to take her lips.
“When will I see you again?”
“Soon. I—”
“Don’t. Don’t promise you’ll see me again,” she said, cutting me off.
 “Fine, I don’t promise to see you again.”
I took one long look in her eyes and engraved every inch of her face
into my brain so I wouldn’t forget it. She followed me to my bike and stood
beside her friend as I fired up the engine.
 29
AUDREY

THREE DAYS LATER

“W hich one? The blue or the pink?” Josi called from the walk-in
closet.
“Blue. Maybe?” I shrugged, then let my arms drop to my
side.
After Beau dropped me off, Josi wasted no time sucking me into her
summer plans and scams. We spent the last three days reorganizing her
closet since she was staying with her grandparents for the next six months
or longer. I didn’t mind, though, anything to help me squash the elephant
sitting on my chest.
“Audikins! You’re no real help.” She pouted and held up both shirts to
her chest. “Why have you been so quiet, anyway?”
“I’m not. Just a little tired.” I lied, hoping she wouldn’t give me her
usual side eye.
She ignored my words and continued to fumble through the clothing in
her closet. I let my feet dangle off the edge of her bed and leaned on my
hands, my thoughts slowly going back to the man I missed most. Beau. We
exchanged texts over the past few days. He always texted me in the
morning, and before bed, but even those few messages didn’t seem like
enough. I grabbed my small stuffed penguin and held it up to my chest. It
was limp, and old from years of being dragged around, but it was especially
comforting now because it smelled like Beau. He didn’t know I had it, but
during our last night together, I snuck in his bag and spritzed a bit of his
cologne on it. I thought I would get caught, but he never said anything.
 “Okay, I’m all set. What are you wearing?” she asked and looked over
at me.
I bit down on my bottom lip and glanced at my shorts and tank top.
“This.”
Her shoulders slumped, a dull expression etching into her features. “We
need to match Audikins.”
“Match for what? We’re just getting tacos.” I stood and stretched, my
arms reaching for the cathedral ceiling.
Her warm fingers brushed my skin. “Perfect.”
I looked down at the ruffled blue crop top and blue flip-flops. “Fine.” I
grumbled.
She twirled her hair in the mirror, and a floral vanilla scent wrapped
around my lungs. She dabbed perfume on her wrist and behind her ear. Her
movements made me think about my mom for a moment, and how she used
to do the same thing. I tugged off my tank and pulled down the blue crop
top over my head. Josi and I were the same size, and all her clothes fit me
perfectly.
“Lighten up, Audikins. We’re about to take El Diablo tacos by storm.”
She placed one leg in front of the other and molded into her signature
Marilyn Monroe pose with a perfect pout.
I picked up the flip-flops, grabbed my phone, and followed her down
the stairs. A gust of warm salty air rushed past me as I stepped out, and I
breathed it in. Josi’s grandparents lived right on the beach, and it was only a
short walk before powdery sand covered my feet. Streaks of blood orange
covered the sky, and the ocean licked the shore as its rippling waves came
in and out. I looked out at the scattered bodies taking in the setting sun. Half
of the beach was semi-private, only used by those who owned homes on the
property, but the other half was public, separated by a small strip of eateries
and surf shops.
“It’s perfect out,” she said, looping her arm through mine.
We walked barefoot on the beach, and she closed her eyes as she
breathed in the fresh air. I attempted to do the same thing, but then my
phone vibrated in my back pocket.
BEAU BEAR
Fuck I miss you.
 AUDREY
Miss you more. *sad face*
BEAU BEAR
We still on for tonight? It might be a little late when I call.
AUDREY
I’ll stay up!
BEAU BEAR
K, talk later.

“Who’re you texting?”

“Just my dad. He’s checking in. That’s all.”
She raised a brow, and my heart slammed in my chest. I dimmed the
screen light, hoping she wouldn’t see my message. Did she see?
“What?” I jutted my hip into her side.
“Nothing. You forgot the Polaroid.”
I facepalmed, and Josi snorted. I meant to bring it with me, but her
obsessing over my clothes distracted me. As we walked in silence for a
beat, my mind went back to the all the black and white photos of him. I
secretly bought a scrapbook the first night I arrived when we went into
town. Josi ran into the one of the big makeup stores, and I disappeared into
a craft shop. She didn’t even ask what I bought, and I was grateful.
“So, what else happened on your trip?” Her hand grabbed mine, and she
pulled me along.
I swallowed down the lump. “Nothing really? We ate a lot, saw decade
old attractions and stared at long stretches of road.”
“Did you guys sleep in the same hotel room?”
“Um, yeah.” My spine locked, and I sliced my gaze to the ocean.
“How was that? Does he snore? He looks like he snores.”
I giggled. “Yes, he snores. But it’s kind of soothing. I can fall asleep to
it.”
“Lucky. My dad sounds like someone is trying to chainsaw a piece of
carbon steel. No wonder I’m always tired when I’m home.”
“I think he needs one of those machines that go over the nose. I forgot
what they’re called. Graham’s dad has one.”
“I don’t know. All I know is mom told him he needs to fix it or he’ll be
hanging out with Uncle Carlos.”
I stopped. “Wait. I thought he was dead?”
 “Exactly.”
I burst out in laughter, and Josi soon joined in. Our twelve minute walk
ended, and we traded the softness of the sand for hot concrete. We dropped
our sandals at the same time and slid our feet into them. El Diablo was
packed. A canopy of laughter filled the space, and I found an empty table
on the patio. Josi knew what I liked food wise, so she ordered. Ten minutes
passed, and I locked my gaze on Josi fumbling with the baskets in her hand.
“Yes. I made it.” She let the baskets fall on the table and went back for
our drinks.
Seared meats, fused with a hint of garlic, and other seasonings I
couldn’t make out made my mouth water as I looked down at the stuffed
shells. I picked one up, and Josi sauntered back over with two guys in tow.
“Audi. This is hot dude #1 and hot dude #2,”
I gave a limp wave and traded a glance between them and Josi. She had
a smile bigger than Texas on her face and I let out a breath. An awkward
silence cloaked us and I took a big bite out of the shell. Josi stared at me
with bug eyes and I was certain they were going to fall out of their sockets.
“What are you doing?” she mouthed silently.
I chewed. “Eating,” I mouthed back, my cheeks full.
“Smile.” Her lips moved in a slow motion.
I looked at her, and then at the taco, before my lips curled at the corners.
She wasn’t impressed and let out a huff of frustration. All three of them sat
down, and hot guy #2 got comfortable near me. Too comfortable. He
smelled like a surf shop, with dark brown eyes and short blond hair nestled
on top of his head. He eyed me, but not like how Beau did. Beau’s gaze was
possessive, yet caring. The guy sitting next to me looked at me as if I were
a piece of meat. I returned my attention back to my food and avoided his
stomach coiling gaze.
He attempted to make small talk, but I ignored him, and sliced my gaze
to Josi, who had a sparkle of excitement in her eyes. The guy next to her
eased in and slid his hands down her thighs. I twisted away from the one
sitting next to me, and he placed his hand on my leg causing my heart to
punch in my chest. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to be touched by some
garlicky breath guy who looked at me like I was another notch in his
bedpost. I just wanted Beau. As my thoughts went haywire, Josi locked lips
with the strange guy next to her, his hands roaming over her body. My
muscles tensed when the guy beside me clipped his finger under my chin,
and I smacked his hand away.
“Audikins! What’s your deal?”
“I’m going back to the house.”
I trembled with fury as I stomped down the wooden steps, ignoring
Josi’s call. As I widened, the gap between us, bitterness and shame,
replaced the anger roaring through my veins. The events from what
happened in Texas resurfaced and corroded my insides. I kept my gaze on
the ground, and once my feet touched the soft sand, I picked up speed. I
knew Josi wouldn’t run after me and once I made it back to her house. I
booked it up the stairs to my room and closed the door behind me.
AUDREY
Can you call me now? Please
BEAU BEAR
What’s wrong kitten?
AUDREY
I just need to hear your voice.
BEAU BEAR
Can you give me an hour? Audrey

K.

I found solace on the bed, staring at the ceiling with my phone clutched
in my hand. I counted back from one hundred, hoping that once I got to
zero, Beau’s face would pop up on the screen. Down to the last ten
numbers, I let them drip off my lips slowly, but stopped when the front door
opened.
“Audi?” Josi called, busting the door open.
I rolled over, refusing to face her as tears skipped down my cheeks. No
matter how hard I tried to keep my eyes shut and my head buried in the
pillow, she refused to leave my side.
“What happened? What’s wrong? Please tell me.”
“I can’t,” I said. The words coming out muffled from the thickness in
my throat.
She lay down next to me, her face inches from mine, and tucked a piece
of hair behind my ear. “You can tell me. Was it the guys? I’m sorry. I
shouldn’t have invited them over to our table. Ugh. What was—”
 “Not that. I mean it was, but not only that.”
She lifted on her elbow, her brow raising with interest. “What? Did
something else happen?”
I didn’t reply, and closed my eyes as a wave of tears soaked my cheeks.
She urged me to tell her, and after so many pleas, I finally gave in. My
words stuttered off my tongue at first, fear gnawing at me as I unraveled the
truth. She kept her eyes on me, her movements frozen as I let everything
out. I expected the worse, but she stayed, her gaze locked on mine as her
mouth morphed into an ‘O’.
“I don’t know….” Her words trailed off, and she plucked at the
comforter.
“Do you want me to leave?”
She perked up. “What? Leave? Why would I want you to leave?”
“Because I’m in love with my dad.” My words came out in a whisper,
and I wondered if she heard them.
She propped up on her knees and sat back on her ankles. “It’s weird, I
won’t lie, and strange, and kind of gross, but hot at the same time.” She
tipped her chin to the ceiling and slowly lowered it. “Does he feel the same
way about you?”
I nodded.
“This whole time I thought you didn’t want to tell me who you’ve been
tongue tied with because I thought it was someone from St. Mary’s. Not
your dad.”
I chuckled and covered my mouth. “How did you know?”
“Because you’ve been acting strange ever since you got here. I knew it
had to be a guy making you all weird.”
“Oh,” I said, fidgeting with the bracelet around my wrist.
“So he did everything?” She placed her palms on her cheeks.
I nodded and pulled my bottom lip between my teeth.
She covered her mouth. “Holy shit Audikins. Well, was it good?”
I froze and passed a glance between the window and her shocked gaze. I
nodded, and let a slow smile spread across my lips.
Josi died a slow hysterical death as she fell back down onto the bed and
stared at the ceiling. Her mouth opened and closed as she wrangled the
words on her tongue.
“It’s big too.” I said, turning on my stomach.
“Like little engine that could big or porn big?”
 I let my face fall into the pillow. “Porn big.”
“Shut the front door, Audikins. Did you suck it?”
I turned my head, the answer clear as day on my face. Josi nearly lost
her shit.
“Holy mother of Mary Magdalene. Little Audi taking her Daddy down.”
She shook her head and stared at the door with a blank expression. “It’s
kind of badass, though. Still cringe, but he is hot as fuck.”
“He is—”
“Shit. What about Graham? Does he know?” she asked, cutting me off.
“No,” I said and stuffed my face back into the pillow.
“Wild. I’m positive the news will change his facial expression. Make
sure you snap a pic when it happens.” She hopped off the bed. “Come on,
let’s put on a movie and grab some snacks. I need to know all the deets.”
She grabbed my hands and pulled me off the bed. She wasn’t expecting
a hug, but I gave her one, anyway.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“You’re a big weird ball of curls, but I love you, Audikins. No matter
what.”
 30
BEAU

ONE WEEK LATER

I hated to admit it, but the ride back to Chicago was the longest ride of
my life. I missed my girl, and the only thing I wanted was for her to be
back in my arms. My mind raced with everything I had to do before I
moved back to California, and I still had to get rid of the last weight
lingering on my shoulder. Exhaustion took over me as I entered the Chicago
tollway. I was aching for a hot bath, a warm meal and a nap. Once I stopped
to get gas, a string of text messages popped up on my phone.
Two from Finn, and one from Frank. I never got a text from Frank,
unless some shit went down, and he couldn’t get ahold of Al. Once home, I
took a quick shower, changed clothes, and grabbed the keys to my truck. I
clipped them on to the lanyard that held the keys to my bike and pinched a
cig between my fingers. My bike needed a break, and so did my ass.
I parked outside the bar once I arrived, my nerves going haywire as I
replayed Frank’s message in my head. He wanted me to come to the bar as
soon as possible, and every fucked up scenario played like a never ending
movie in my head. I sauntered toward the door and stepped inside.
Everything looked the same, except there was no Al, just Frank. When he
caught sight of me, he bent down and retrieved a clear bottle and a glass.
Fuck.
“What’s so urgent?” I asked, pulling out the bar stool.
“Don’t sit down,” he said, keeping his eyes on the bottle as he poured.
He slid it over and I caught it between my fingers, my throat drying up
as if I swallowed down sand.
 “Drink.” He put the cap back on the bottle and returned it to its rightful
place under the bar.
I held it in my hand, torn between slinging it back like he told me to, or
asking him why. With his arms stretched out, he panned the bar and let a
heavy sigh roll off his shoulders. I shot it back and slid the empty glass over
to him.
“Where the fuck is Al?” My words came out harsher than I expected.
He licked his lips. “Northern General Hospital. Building C, room 406.”
He said nothing after that and walked away. I wanted to call out after
him, but I couldn’t find the words. I left and headed straight for the hospital,
and ignored all the bad thoughts that fought their way to the surface.
I hated hospitals. Something about them made my heart race and not in
a good way. The place reminded me of death. I scanned the directory in
front of me, searching for the wing that housed Al’s room and it was as if
someone pierced me in the gut as I read the words on the board. I stepped
into the elevator and closed my eyes as I rode up to the hospice wing.
“I leave for two weeks and you fucking croak on me,” I said, pulling the
soft chair closer to his bed. “Bastard.”
His withering lips relaxed into a grin, and I eyed the tiredness that
engulfed his body. A thin gown swallowed his body, and this was the first
time I saw how frail he was.
“How was the trip?” he asked, raising a thick brow.
I studied his features as I tried to figure out if he already knew what I
dreaded telling him. Al was hard to crack, his facial features were sharp,
and his expression dull.
I ran a finger over my lip. “It was good.”
“Oh? I heard it was a little too good,” he said, an asshole smirk playing
on his lips.
Before he could speak again, a cough erupted from his throat, and it
strangled the air in his throat.
“Disappointed?” I asked, my eyes locked on the device monitoring his
vitals.
“Nah, but if it was anyone else, I would be.”
“Comforting. Thanks,” I said, shaking my head.
A beat of silence passed, and he eyed the nervous movements of my
hands.
 “So, out of all the women, she’s the one, huh?” he asked, a current of a
breath carrying his words.
I inhaled as I twirled the silver rings around my fingers. “I didn’t plan
this. It just…” My words faltered, and I leaned back in the chair.
“If she’s the one you want, then theirs nothing you can do about it.” He
lifted his shoulders and gave a half shrug.
“You’re shittin’ me.”
I never thought I’d see the day when Al didn’t want to argue and I was
positive the news about Audrey would have afforded me a lecture from the
old man.
He stretched out his hands. “No point in arguing with a dying man. Will
people like it? No, but what can you do?”
“But she’s eighteen, so young and I’m so….”
“Old?” He let a grin play on his lips.
I folded my arms across my chest. “I was going to say middle age.”
Even on his deathbed, he talked shit, not a care in the world. I knew
Audrey would have loved Al if she got the chance to meet him and
knowing that she never would hurt more than anything.
“Do you love her?” he asked, the question hanging in the air.
“With every bone in my body.”
He shrugged. “Then keep her. Love her and give her everything she
needs.”
“I don’t know what she needs.”
“You do. That’s why you’re trying to shit your way out of it. Is it
wrong? Yeah. But life never gives you a deck you can’t handle.
“She’s my daughter.”
“Eh, there are worse crimes than that.”
“I think fucking your daughter is pretty high up there.”
He nodded and then stilled his movements as my words seeped into his
ears. A bud of a grin spread across his lips and I shook my head. Only Al
could make light of a situation as fucked up as this. His grin was
intoxicating, and I matched his smirk. Another coughing spell begun, this
one worse than the first one. I stood, my eyes on the machine monitoring
his vitals.
A nurse came in, followed by another staff member, and I backed to the
edge of the room until my boots hit a wall. Once the emergency was
cleared, the room emptied, but Al didn’t say a word. His heart was still
beating, but exhaustion warped his features. I told myself I was prepared for
his death more times than I could count, but as I watched his life slip away
bit by bit like ashes in the wind, a small part of me crumbled. I turned to
head out the door, and my keys slipped out of my hand.
“Leaving?”
“I thought you were asleep.”
A thick hoarse laugh pushed past his lips. “Maybe I should get some
rest, huh?”
Silence fell amongst us, and for the first time, I had no words. I picked
up my keys and looked down at the Route 66 keychain attached to the ring.
“Get outta here,” he said, fighting back a cough as the words left his
lips. “Will I see ya tomorrow?”
I gave him one final look and walked out the door. I didn’t reply to his
question, because I knew the truth that was laced within it. It would be a
miracle if he made it through the night.

I looked around my loft, and then at the empty brown boxes waiting to be
filled. My phone dinged again, and I knew it was Audrey, my baby girl. I
told her she needed to tell Graham before we left for California in a few
days. She didn’t want to, but he deserved to know. It wasn’t what she
wanted to hear, but I promised I would be there when it was all over.
Al told me life would never give me a deck I couldn’t handle, but I felt
myself slipping as the hours passed. I already crossed the point of no return
with Audrey, but taking that last step, the one where I confessed I couldn’t
live without her, taunted me. I didn’t want to be the man that took her life
away, but I knew I couldn’t let her go. Turning my attention back to the box
in front of me, my front door unlatched and I rose to my feet.
Only two people had a key to my loft. Al and Finn. I knew it wasn’t Al,
so it had to be Finn. He entered, a blank expression on his face as he shut
the door behind him. Fuck, he knows. I’ve thought about how to break the
news to Finn since I first kissed Audrey in Texas, and I came up blank
every time.
He stepped farther inside and got comfortable on a stool in the kitchen. I
walked over and pulled out the strongest liquor I had without saying a
word.
He let out a deep breath. “Al passed. He died an hour ago.” He reached
over for the drink and tipped it to his lips. “Thought I’d let you know.”
“But that’s not why you came over. Is it?” I asked and picked up my
drink.
Finn lived thirty minutes from me on a good day, but it was a Saturday
night and the drive from his apartment to my loft was over an hour.
He held his next sip between his lips as he tilted the glass from side to
side.
He swallowed. “Are you sick?”
“What? I raised a brow. “Not that I’m aware of? Why?”
He gave a half shrug. “Because you’d have to be pretty fucking sick to
shove your tongue down your daughter’s throat.”
I let my head fall and released the shaky breath lodged in my chest.
Between Al and Finn, I put my money on Al, giving me more shit for my
actions than Finn.
“I love her,” I said, the words falling off my lips with no regret.
That’s all I could say, because it was the truth. The cold, hard truth.
Finn rounded the center island and stepped right up to me. My muscles
grew taunt as I locked my gaze with his.
“Did you fuck her too?”
“Yeah,” I said, taking another sip.
His eyes widened at my response, as if he couldn’t believe the words
that dripped off my lips.
“Don’t fucking shit me right now,” he said as a glower breached his
mouth.
I sliced my gaze away from his. “I’m not. We fucked, and it was the
best fuck I ever had.”
Heat radiated through my jaw, the leftover sting of him giving me a
right hook. I wiped my mouth and licked away the tiny trickle of blood
pooling on my bottom lip. Don’t punch him back. Don’t punch him back.
“I don’t fucking care if you want to screw up your own life, but don’t
fuck with mine.” He took a step back. “I guess abused pussy is out of your
league now, huh? You gotta have something untouched and barely legal to
stick your dick in.”
“It’s not like that.” I said, my voice rising.
 A barbed laugh flowed off his lips. “No? Then tell me what’s it’s like?
Did you even wait until she turned eighteen before you stuck your dick in
her? Or did you fuck and nut in her the first night she slept over?”
“I would never—”
“She’s my niece and your fucking daughter. Really?” he said, cutting
me off.
My words caught in my throat as he eyed me. I was certain there was
nothing I could say to make him understand. I hated seeing the pain in his
eyes, as if the one person he trusted more than anyone had betrayed him.
“I know it’s fucked. I know people will talk, and I know this is not what
you wanted, but I love Audrey. She’s the one I want.”
He closed his eyes and tipped his chin to the ceiling before letting out a
muffled yell of frustration.
“Now you're just gonna run off to California and leave me here while
—”
“You know that’s not true. Where ever I go, I’ll make sure there’s
always space for you. Always.”
“Well, it sure doesn’t feel like it. Feels like you're making one last run
and telling me to fuck off.” He finished his drink and tugged his keys out is
his pocket. “You’re an asshole, you know that. A selfish one.”
“Finn,” I called out.
He halted in the doorway, but refused to turn around. “Frank’s gonna
need help with the bar for the next week. That’s where I’ll be. Let me know
when you make it to California.”
 31
BEAU

SIX DAYS LATER

“W here are you moving?”

“California,” I said, sliding another box into the hallway.
“Are you keeping the loft?”
I picked up another box. “For now.”
The man looked around the loft, eyeing the bare walls and empty space.
He saw me moving boxes into the hallway and decided to help. I was
grateful for it. The faster I got the trailer loaded, the faster I could get to my
baby girl. I packed up everything except the furniture. Frank decided he
was going to live in my loft for a few months. It was better than staying at
his own apartment, the one he’d shared with Al. I didn’t blame him. It was
easier to push past the pain if you distance yourself from what caused it. He
needed a new routine, and a new place to call home, one that didn’t remind
him of his dead brother.
“Don’t you own a tattoo shop or something?” the guy asked as he lifted
two boxes and placed them in the freight elevator.
I scratched the edge of my beard and nodded. All the guys knew Al
passed, and I didn’t want to be the asshole to put them out of work so soon.
I called Finn and asked if he would watch over the shop during the day. He
begrudgingly agreed, and I told the guys the shop would have daytime
hours during the week and evening hours on the weekend. The plan wasn’t
perfect, but it was good enough for now.
We packed up the trailer, making the trek from the elevator, and back
until the only thing left in my loft was the living room furniture, bed, and
TV. All the essentials Frank needed to be comfortable.
“That didn’t take long. Nice bike,” he said, touching the handle.
“Thanks. I appreciate your help.” I pulled a few twenties out of my
wallet and stretched my hand out.
He stalled for a moment, shocked that I even offered, but then took
them. Retiring a few steps back, he leaned into the building and watched as
I secured the bike before closing the door on the trailer. I took one last look
at the placed I called home for the past three years before climbing into my
truck.
The two-hour ride to Audrey’s house seemed to take forever. I didn’t
know if it was the fit of nervousness taking over or the need to have her
back in my arms. I told Audrey the truth about why I went out to California.
I let her know our mom’s sister passed away and left us her house in La
Jolla, California. She closed up once she digested the news, afraid that I
would run out on her again. But I had no intentions of ever leaving her. If
we were going to be together, we needed a fresh start. Somewhere new, and
safe from all the noise and backlash.
Finn wanted nothing to do with her or the house. He hated our mom’s
side of the family for leaving us to the wolves when she passed away. In the
blink of an eye, all my thoughts evaporated into thin air as I turned the
corner. I swallowed away the ball of sawdust in my throat as I waited for
the front gate to open. Rows of large white boxes lined the steps, along with
three trunk suitcases and her floral backpack. I killed the engine, climbed
out of the truck, and lifted the hatch to the trailer.
The front door was open, and I traded glances between the boxes lining
the front steps and the grand entrance. It wasn’t my place to barge inside
Graham’s house, but I wanted to make sure he wasn’t filling her head with
nonsense. As I stacked the last of the boxes on top of each other, two men
covered in grass stains sprinted up the front steps and took the boxes.
“Thanks,” I said as I eyed their movements.
I stepped inside, and my chest seized up the moment my boots touched
the marble flooring. Every single memory of me walking into this house
was a bad one, except for the most recent one. The day I picked up my baby
girl for our trip. I headed for the stairs, but halted in my tracks at the sound
of a bitter laugh coming from down the hall. It didn’t belong to Audrey, and
I couldn’t fathom the thought of Graham retrieving a laugh from that
welded-shut jaw of his.
 I crept forward until I reached a brown door near the end of the hall. It
was open, and my gaze landed on Audrey. She stood with her back to my
front, one ankle crossed over the other, with her arms folded across her
chest. I eased in and settled into the corner near the door. My gaze locked
on Graham, who faced the large panel window that looked out into the
garden. He perched his ass on the edge of the desk, and although I couldn’t
see his face, I knew he was wearing his usual dull expression.
“Do you really think this is the best decision? I mean, after everything
that’s happened, do you think you mom would approve?” Graham asked,
his face still glued to the window.
Audrey didn’t say anything, and I wanted to swoop in, but I held my
stance.
“She’s young, Mr. Pierce. Let her have this time and—“
“I pay for your services, Martha. Not your opinion,” he said, cutting her
off.
He turned, just enough for me to see the rigidity of his jaw, and cleared
his throat. The woman sank back in her chair and a cloak of silence fell
over the room.
“She would approve, because Mom always followed her heart.”
“I know.” He said, turning around. “One of her biggest flaws. I see it
rubbed off on you.”
My skin crawled as I listened to his words and it took everything in me
to not round the corner and shove my fist down his fucking throat.
“Graham.” His name fell off Martha’s lips. “He didn’t mean that,
sweetheart,” she said, turning her attention to Audrey.
He raised a brow. “If you want to waste your life away living under the
roof of an ex-criminal, then be my guest, Audrey, but don’t come back here
with your tail tucked between your legs when he dumps you like a pile of
trash, because I told you so.”
I fumed, my blood running hot through my veins. My heart pulsed so
hard I could hear it in my eardrums. He rounded his desk and retrieved an
envelope. Plucking out the forms, he laid them out and signed his name
three times.
“Sign it so we can be done. I have business to attend to,” he said,
stretching his arm out.
Audrey stepped forward, a weak cry faltering off her lips as she took the
pen from his hand. Hearing her cry was enough for me to step out of the
shadow, and once I did Graham met my gaze with fire in his eyes. He didn’t
say a word, and we both watched as Audrey signed her name below his.
Before another insulting word fell off his lips, I caressed her arm, and she
spun around. I told her I would be there for the hardest part, and it nearly
killed me to see tears spilling over her lashes.
“I guess ruining your own life wasn’t good enough? You need to ruin
hers, too.” He lowered to his chair and crossed one leg over the other.
“More like saving her life. She’s miserable here, but you wouldn’t know
that because your head is shoved so far up your daddy’s ass, the only thing
you can see is miles of shit and nothing else.”
My outburst earned an applause from Martha, but it quickly fizzled out
when he sliced his gaze in her direction.
“You’re fired,” he said, his gaze locked on hers.
She squared her shoulders, stood, and walked over to Audrey. Martha
took her arm and lead her toward the door. I waited until they were farther
in the hallway to give Graham another earful. I told him that men in prison
had more balls and integrity than him. To this day, I never understood what
Audrey’s mom saw in him and chalked it up to Graham being rich. The
only positive quality he had. Outside of his fancy house and cars, he
reminded me of a stubborn shit stain that refused to wash away.
A tick formed in his jaw, and he slid the forms back into the cream
colored envelope.
“Give that to her. She’ll probably need it sooner than later.”
I snatched it out of his hand and walked out of his office. As I stomped
down the hall, I scanned the contents. It was Audrey’s inheritance from her
mom. I slid my tongue across the flap and sealed it. Unbeknownst to
Graham, I had more than enough money to take care of my baby girl.
Between my savings, the income from my tattoo shop, and the payout from
Al’s death, we were set. She would want for nothing, and if she did, I would
do everything in my power to get it for her.
“Ready kitten? Let’s get the fuck out of here.” I powered down the steps
and rounded my truck.
I doubled checked the trailer, making sure she had all her things and
then closed it. She gave Martha another hug before climbing into the truck.
“I’m all ready.” She wiped her teary eyes and pulled the seatbelt across
her. “What?” she asked, a weak smile breaking through.
 “Nothing. Just staring at my beautiful baby girl.” I tucked a lock of hair
behind her ear.
“Do you have everything you need?” she asked, toeing out of her
sneakers.
I turned over the engine and placed my hand on her thigh. “You’re all
I’ll ever need. Now and forever.”
And that was a promise I was sure of.
 THANK YOU

If I made you cry I’m sorry. Here’s a tissue. I hope you enjoyed Beau and
Audreys story. I plan to write an extended epilogue for these two very soon.

Love,
Natalie

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