I NTE RV I EW

On a
high

Chloé Hayden on
healing, Heartbreak
High and finding her
happily ever after
WORDS BY ADRIENNE TAM
PHOTOGRAPHED BY SIMON EELES
 Iordanes Spyridon
Gogos x Akira Isogawa
x Clair Helen dress,
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com; Christian Dior
boots, dior.com;
Swarovski ring,
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IN TERVI EW

“Being autistic
meant I had to
mask my whole life
in order to survive,
so I had to perform”

Iordanes Spyridon
Gogos x Akira Isogawa
x Clair Helen dress,
iordanesspyridongogos.
com; Yousef Akbar
stocking shoes, yousef
akbar.com; Swarovski
ring, swarovski.com.
OPPOSITE PAGE Comme
des Garçons top, at parlourx.
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top (underneath) and skirt,
michaellosordo.com; Prada
shoes, at parlourx.com.
 rowing up, Chloé
Hayden didn’t see
anyone like her on
screen. Bullied and
ostracised by her
school peers for
being “different”, she was diagnosed with autism at
the age of 13 and switched to home education after
attending 10 schools in eight years. She spent many
of her teen years blogging about her experience with
autism under the pseudonym Princess Aspien and,
to her surprise, thousands of people reached out in
response, thanking her for making them feel that
they weren’t alone.
Today, the 26-year-old is once again paving
the way for neurodivergent people all over the world
with her Logie-award nominated portrayal of autistic
character Quinni in Netflix’s Heartbreak High series
reboot. The hit Australian show, which is shooting its
second season, was lauded globally for its grittiness as
well as its diversity and truthful representation. While
previous depictions of autistic characters were mainly
played stereotypically by neurotypical men, Hayden’s
rendering is nuanced and authentic.
As well as starring in Heartbreak High, the actor
is the host of the new podcast Boldly Me, where she
interviews high-profile personalities about being their
true, bold selves. Hayden is also the author of last year’s
release Different, Not Less: A neurodivergent’s guide to
embracing your true self and finding your happily ever
after, which is a practical guide as well as a personal –
and at times heartbreaking – account of what she went
through as a child. In it, she tells of finding notes in her
school locker telling her to kill herself. Once, she had a
sleepover party and gave BFF necklaces to the girls who
attended, only to discover they’d thrown them in the bin
the next day, saying, “We’d never be friends with you.”
Teachers told her she needed to “grow up” and gave her
detention when she cried about not understanding
her lessons.
Fast-forward to now and Hayden’s life is a far
cry from those dark days. In December last year, she
and partner Dylan Rohan got engaged, with the star
sharing the happy news on her social media accounts,
which total about 1 million fans across TikTok and
Instagram. The couple have just bought their first
home together.
“Marriage means I get to spend forever with my
best friend,” Hayden tells marie claire on the set of
her cover shoot. Rohan, who is listening in, adds,
“And build a future together.” They smile adoringly
at each other.
Here, the winner of marie claire’s Rising Star
accolade at our 2022 Women of the Year awards
reflects on what life might have been like had autism
been represented more on screen when she was young,
and why she’ll always speak her mind and stand up
for her community.
Romance Was Born x Paul Yore gown, romancewasborn.com;
Yousef Akbar stocking shoes, yousefakbar.com.
 I NT E RV I E W

How did it feel to be nominated for the 2023 Most said those words, I didn’t even ask what else, I just
Popular New Talent Logie for your role as Quinni broke down, sobbing my heart out. There was a
in Heartbreak High? I remember when I first got security guy watching me, going, “What do I do with
the role of Quinni in Heartbreak, me and Mum were her?” I was on the ground in an alleyway, crying my
joking about the idea of attending the Logies one day. eyes out. And then I had to go back in and finish the
Mum said to me, “Oh my God, now you’re on Netflix, show, still bawling my eyes out. But I couldn’t tell
imagine that one day you get to go to the Logies!” anyone for almost a year because we had to keep it
And I was like, “Oh my God, that’s crazy! That would a secret until a couple months after we started
never happen. Imagine that.” We weren’t even pipe- shooting. So I went back in and people were like,
dreaming a nomination. We were pipe-dreaming “Oh my God, are you OK?” And I was like, “Yeah,
just attending. So to be nominated in two categories I’m just really happy to be here!”
[Heartbreak High was also up for Most Popular When you were shooting the first season, did you
Drama Series] in my first year isn’t anything we have any idea just how loved this show would
ever dreamed would’ve happened. become? Not even close. I knew that it was special
You’re obviously a talented actor. Was acting because when I got the casting brief for Quinni, she
always on the cards for you? I’ve always wanted was very boldly depicted as a neurodivergent person.
to be a performer. When I was a kid, I used to force And I’ve never seen that before. It’s [usually] like,
my siblings to do plays with me and I’d direct them. this person is “quirky” or this person is “XY”. We
I’d make my sister play Barbie with me but I was never actually see “this person is definitively neuro-
like, “Here’s your script.” I was always putting on divergent”. So I knew it was going to be special, but I
performances and writing songs [from] age four, didn’t realise how many other people would think it
which were not good, but I knew I loved performing. was special. We had a couple of people who’ve been in
Being autistic meant I had to mask my whole life in the industry for a long time say to us, “Are you guys
order to survive, so I had to perform. When I learnt prepared for when the show blows up?” and all of us
that performing could be my job, I was like, “Well, were like, “That’s not gonna happen. It’s Australia,
I’m doing this shit for free, so I that sort of stuff doesn’t happen to
might as well get paid for it!” But Australians.” And then the day after
as soon as I left the house, I was “The day after it came out, I was walking through
nonverbal. I couldn’t speak to Heartbreak came Sydney and I got mobbed. And I was
anyone. It wasn’t really an option like, “Oh, OK, this is big!” It was
for me. My dad would joke that if out, I was mobbed. a full Hannah Montana moment.
I wanted to be a performer, I’d have My world turned My whole world just turned around
to mime. But performing was my literally overnight. It was crazy.
biggest dream in the entire world. around overnight” What would it have meant to you
So despite the fact I couldn’t even and your family to see a character
walk in a straight line, let alone dance, and that I like Quinni when you were diagnosed with
froze up whenever I was asked to sing or speak in autism at 13? It honestly would have changed
front of people, my parents were like, “Well, this is the whole trajectory of my life. You can’t be what
her dream, so we’re gonna do whatever it takes to get you can’t see. Growing up, never seeing myself
there.” Every time I got kicked out of a dance class represented, I grew up thinking I wasn’t supposed to
for being too bad, my mum would say, “That’s fine, be here. In some ways, it’s the most overwhelmingly
we’ll find you another one.” We used to live in this exciting thing to be able to be one of the firsts. Young
tiny little town in the bottom of Victoria and my dad people can look at Quinni and go, “OK, if she exists
would drive me eight hours every week just to go to as wholly and beautifully and unapologetically as
an acting class. My dad is the best person in the she does, then I can too.” But in other ways it’s
whole world, I love him so much. When I was like, devastating that it took us so long to get to this point.
“I want to be a motivational speaker,” he was like, I don’t think people understand just how much of an
“OK, well, you’re going to speak to me first.” So every impact media has on the way we perceive reality.
single night, my mum and dad would sit there and Media chooses what our reality is. Probably weekly
I’d stand up and read monologues to them. Despite I will still get messages or comments in real life
all odds, they made sure I was able to get to where going, “You’re nothing like Sheldon Cooper [the
I wanted to be. I owe everything to them. character in The Big Bang Theory].” It happens all
What was your reaction when you were told the time. And it’s because this is what we believe
you had the role of Quinni? When I got the role, autism to be. Even when we see real versions of it
I was doing a motivational talk in Albury-Wodonga. in the news or whatever, it’s always done in a really
At nine o’clock at night, I had 30 missed calls from negative way. It’s “This person did this and, oh, by
my agent. I got off stage at halftime intermission and the way, they’re autistic.” So if I’d had a Quinni
my PA was like, “Daniel’s calling you, I don’t know growing up, not only would I have felt represented,
what’s happening.” And I was like, “That’s so weird. but my family, my teachers, my peers in school and
It’s nine o’clock on a Friday night. What’s he doing so many other people in my life would have gone,
calling me?” So I step outside and I call him back “OK, I understand what this is because I’ve seen
and he doesn’t even say hello. The first thing he says it before,” rather than, “I think I understand what
to me is, “Are you sitting down?” And as soon as he this is because I’ve seen an incorrect stereotype.”

marieclaire.com.au | 71
I NT E RVIE W

Aside from autism, you’ve openly spoken about

being diagnosed with ADHD, endometriosis,
adenomyosis and Postural Orthostatic
Tachycardia Syndrome [POTS]. Is there
anything you don’t like to discuss? I think there’s
things I’m still healing from that I’m not ready to
talk about, but there’s nothing that I’m a closed book
over. Maybe that’s the autism and me not knowing
social cues and being like, “I don’t know what things
I shouldn’t say so I’m just gonna say it all.” I’ve always
thought that if I had something I needed to say, I’m
going to say it.
What are your thoughts on the writers’ and
actors’ strike currently happening in the US?
I think it’s incredibly important to strike. I’m very
pro-union. If it came down to it in Australia, I’d be
the first one on the picket line. I absolutely stand in
solidarity with [the strikers].
You and Dylan were engaged last year and will
wed next year. How is the wedding planning
going? I don’t really have time to plan anything.
My mum’s my low-key wedding planner. And I have
the most incredible PA, who is just on the ball with
everything. So we’ve kind of come up with themes
CLOCKWISE FROM
TOP Hayden (in and basic ideas, and I’m like, “You go do something
green) with the cast and then when it’s A or B, I could choose from that.”
of hit Netflix series What was your first date like? On our first date,
Heartbreak High at
the 2023 Logie Awards; Louis Tomlinson from One Direction was going
with her fiancé Dylan on tour and his tickets were coming out. Dylan had
Rohan at marie claire’s made this beautiful picnic down by the river and
Women of the Year
awards; and in a scene halfway through I’m like, “Look, this is great but
from Heartbreak High. I need to buy Louis Tomlinson tickets.” And he
was so fine with it, but I was sitting there on

HAIR BY DIANE GORGIEVSKI/THE ARTIST GROUP. MAKEUP BY LINDA JEFFERYES/THE ARTIST GROUP. PRODUCTION BY ROBYN FAY-PERKINS.
Ticketmaster freaking out! I was just like a little

PHOTOGRAPHY BY SIMON EELES/ART BOX BLACK; GETTY IMAGES. FASHION DIRECTOR: NAOMI SMITH. STYLED BY JORDAN BOORMAN.
gremlin trying to get these tickets on our first date.
I got the best tickets you could and then I went,
“Anyway, where were we?” [Laughs]
In your book Different, Not Less, you wrote Speaking of One Direction, earlier this year
about being viciously bullied as a child and how you were at a Harry Styles concert in Melbourne
much it affected you. Was it cathartic to write and stadium staff made you feel unwelcome
about your experience? In some ways it was really when you attempted to access Marvel Stadium’s
beautiful. In other ways it was really, really difficult sensory room. You met with the CEO of the
because in order to make sure that my story was stadium to discuss how to ensure this didn’t
being told and that other people were able to be happen again. How do you feel knowing you can
heard, I had to go back to a lot of trauma I had exact positive change? My voice was taken away
buried very deep and that I didn’t ever want to from me for so long, so I still struggle to remember
bring up again. But I knew how important it was that I do have the ability and the power to incite
to make sure that these stories were told. I have a change. I mean, all of us do. But I think particularly
philosophy that everything happens for a reason. in circumstances like that, I forget that I don’t
My understanding of that is: I went through what I have to be a victim. When Marvel said, “OK, we
went through so another young girl doesn’t have to. will build another sensory room; we’ll make sure
Do you ever feel the weight of being a role model more people can fit in it and we’re not going to
or representing an entire community of people? fact-check people,” I was like, “Wow.” I still feel
Sometimes there’s definitely a pressure there. At like I’m 16 years old and blogging in my bedroom
times I get comments saying, “You don’t represent as Princess Aspien. I kind of forget that it’s not
me” and “You can only talk for yourself ’’ and I agree, just me anymore; it’s a million people on my social
I can only talk for myself. I can only speak from my media and [they all] have my back. Sometimes
own experience. But the amount of messages I’ve when the negative thoughts are a bit too loud, I
received saying, “I got my autism diagnosis after just open Instagram and open the first message
watching Heartbreak High,” or “I’m starting to in my message requests and read the most beautiful
openly stim [short for self-stimulating behaviour] comment. I’m like, “Nah, I’m doing OK. I’ve got
more often watching your videos,” or “I understand a lot of people on my side.”
myself now and my family understands me now,”
makes it a lot easier to ignore the negative voices. Heartbreak High is streaming now on Netflix.

72 | marieclaire.com.au
 Iordanes Spyridon
Gogos x Akira Isogawa
x Clair Helen dress,
iordanesspyridongogos.
com; Christian Dior
boots, dior.com;
Swarovski ring,
swarovski.com.

“I’ve received
messages saying, ‘I got
my autism diagnosis
after watching
Heartbreak High’”