ICHANGEDAMONSTER

I
NTRODUCTI
ON

her
:he'
sneverbeenl
i
ket
hiswi
thany
one.
You'
redi
ff
erent

Ikeptquiet
.Ir
eal
l
ydi
dn'
thav
eacomment .
Thiswaswaytoomuchf
orme.Iwasshi
t
scared.

Her:howdoy oudoit!?How! ?*screams*Igave

hi
m myal l
,Il
ostmyf ami l
y,Ihavelivedi
nthe
str
eetsjustforhimtobet raymeandl ovey
ou.I
wasal waysthereandt heny oucomeal ong
bori
ng, f
atanduglyy ethef al
lsforyou!He
neverfellf
ortheothergirl
satal l
!You
bewitchedhim!Sneakybi tch!
Shejumpedonmeandst artedthrowing
punchesandme, Idefendedmy self
,buti
twas
hardespeci
all
ywhenshepi ckeduphergunand
aimedatme.IknewIwasgoi ngtogethurt
today.Iwi
pedthebloodf r
om mynose.

Her:"touchherandyou'
llseewhyI '
m called
Rell
ik"hesayswithsomuchpr ide.You'relike
hisprize,i
sn'
ti
twonderful?*l
aughscr azily
*ifI
can'
thav ehim,youdefi
nit
elywon't.Witch!

Icl
osedmyey
es.Lor
dhel
pme.
[
02/
17,
09:
57]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER~

I
NSERT1
.
.
.

-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-

Iam Lel onaDani el

.At18y earsI'm doi ngmy
fi
rsty eari nvarsit
y,theinstit
ut i
onI'
mi niscal l
ed
Univer sityofCapeTown.I 'm ashyper son.
Normal lyIdon'ttalktopeopl eIdon' tknow.
Mostoft hetimeI '
m cuddledupi nmybed
watchi ngmov iesorexer ci
singatt hegy m or
bettery etIdomyassi gnment sandst udyhence
I'
m cal ledaner dbyf ami l
ymember s.Idon' t
haveasoci alli
fe,t
heonl yfriendIhav eisKay l
a.
Wemeti nhighschool ,
wewer en'
tfriendsi n
highschool .Iwasshockedwhenshesentme
aninboxonFacebookaski ngt omeetup.We
metupandf rom thereonwe' vebeenf ri
ends.I
am f at,that'
swhyIgot ot hegy m.I'
m nott he
obesef atjustthemedi um f at.Ihaveokay
boobsandIhav eahugeass.Ihav e2ol der
brothers.Weliv
einCapeTownwhi lstourdad
l
ivesinourhomet ownEast ernCape, Ki
ng
Wi l
l
iamsTown.I thasbeen3mont hsher ein
CapeTownandIcansayI 'm actuall
yenjoy i
ngit
.
Istart
edt hegym 3mont hsago.Il i
vewi thmy
brothersinahouset heyshare.Inev erbother
them becauseI'm alwaysi
nmyr oom orI '
m at
school ,
Ireal
l
ydon' thav
easoci alli
fe.Igota
textfrom Kayl
a.

Kayl
a♥ :chomi .Meandmyfri
endare
host
ingali
tt
lekickbackathi
shouse.You
sl
idi
ngthr
uright
?

Kay l
aknowsIhat epar
t i
esbutshei nvit
esme
everytime!Kayl
aistheoppositeofme.She' s
beaut i
ful
withasli
m bodyt odi
ef or
, she'
sa
coloredandv er
ypopular.Sheparti
esal most
everyweekend.Shealway st
ell
smeshehas
onelifetoli
veandshe'sgonnaliveittot he
ful
l
est.Ideci
dedt
orespondt
ohert
extbecause
shehatesmeblueti
cki
ngher
.

me:no.Ihav
eat estt
ostudyf
orandan
assi
gnmenttodo.Sorr
ybestf
ri
end
Kayl
a♥ :
li
ar.Lel
onay
ouneedtogoout,
you'
l
lthinkoft
hisfunti
mewhenyou'
reol
dand
andwrinkl
edandnobodywil
lwantt
opart
ywit
h
you.
me:Kayla,
booksaremoreimportant.Iknow
whatIcametoCapeTownf or.Icanruinthatby
par
tyi
ng,it
'sj
ustnotme.Youknowt hat.
Kay
la♥ :
mxm what
evergogo.

Ichuckledathertextdecidi
ngnottotextback.
Shedeser vest
hisbluet
ickIlai
dmybooksi nthe
l
itt
letableIhadanddeci dedtost
udy.Ican't
rui
nmyf ut
ure,par
ti
esar eannoyi
nganyway .
Theloudmusi c?Icanlistenonmyphone, t
he
food?Icancookathome, t
hepeopl e?Ij ust
hatethem.Seesor ted.Par t
ybymy self
,thatI
l
ike!Afterst
udyingfor2hour sIdeci dedtot ake
abreak.Iwentdownst air
s, t
ogetsomewat er.I
greetedmybr ot
hers.Thef i
rstbornis
Yanga'i
nkosieveryonecallshim Ki
ngandt he
secondbor nisKhazimla,buteveryonecal lhim
Muller.

Ki
ng:okoubuf
undael
ixesha?(
youhav
ebeen
st
udy
ingthi
swholeti
me? )
Me:yeah.Needt
ogetr
eadyi
ncasewegeta
sur
pri
setest.
Ki
ng:y
oudoknowpeoplegocr
azywhenthey
st
udyalotr
ight
?Uzo'
bl
ow'
a(you'
l
lgocrazy)
Me:that
'sj
ustamy
thf
rom amav
il
a(l
azy
peopl
e).
Mull
er:
*laughs*babysis.Youneedtogoout
someti
mes.Ay i
khograndf orumnt
uona18
abe'
ser
iousngol
i
fe.(I
t'
snotgoodforan18
yearol
dtobethi
sseri
ousaboutl
if
e.)

hewrappedhi
sarm ar
oundmyshoul
ders
pul
l
ingmeclosert
ohischest
.Inabr
other
lyhug

Me:soyouwouldn'
tmi
ndmegoi
ngt
oapar
ty
f
ull
ofvarsi
tyguys

var
sit
yguys,t
hey'
real
lknownt
obepl
ayer
sor
cor
ruptpeopl
e.

King:awuy
ikwimbadlaemuncu.(you'
renot
goingtoastupi
dpart
y).We'
rejusttal
ki
ngabout
yougoingtothemall
or-
Me:
Idogot
othemal
ltobuyst
ufff
ormy
sel
f.
Ki
ng:uyandazi
bandi
thi
ni.(
youknowwhatI
mean.)Gowatchmovi
es-
Me:ikhonai
TVendl
i
ni(
ther
e'saTVi
nthe
house.)
Mull
er:
(chuckl
es)gotoaspat
hen.Youbei
ng
t
hisanti
soci
ali
yasoyi
ki
sa(wor
ri
esus.)
Me: Iwon'ttr
ytoki l
lmyselfagai
n.Ihav ecutst
o
remindmeoft hatday,noneedt ostress.Ij
ust
l
ovei ndoorscan'tIj
uststayathomeal lday
?
Ndiphumaxandi si
yaeskolweni.(Igooutwhen
Igot oschool.)

Inhigh-schoolIgotbulliedbecauseofmy
weight,andmebei nganner dmadei tworse.
myf ami l
ydidn'
tcar eabouti t
, t
othem itwas
j
ustkidst easi
ng, Ineededt ogr owtougherskin.
Theyst art
edtakingitser i
ouswhenIgot
sui
cidal.Mybr otherssor t
edt hesit
uationout
anditwasdeci dedt hatIwoul dmov etoCape
Townt hisyear,andIdi d.That '
swhyIst ay
i
ndoor sallthetime,Ihav eanxietythatImight
getbulli
edagai n.Istar
tedt hegy mt ogetthe
perf
ectbodymaybethenI'
l
lhav
ethe
confi
dencetogooutmore.
.
Ki
ng:
Youneedgett
oknowmor
epeopl
e.
Me: whyar eyouguy
stal
kingaboutthi
s?Zange
yanixaphazel
akuqal
a.(
Itneverbot
heredyou
before.)

Ir
emov
edmy
sel
ffr
om Mul
l
er

Ki
ng:we'r
ehavingapar
tyt
omorr
ow.Wedon'
t
wantyoutogetuncomf
ort
abl
e-
Me:
I'
ll
justgot
oKay
la'
sapar
tment
.Don'
tst
ress.
Muller:
*chuckl
es*Kayl
a'
sgonnabeher e.
Uyalaziel
a'
huleul
ibi
zai
chomi zangeyaphosa
i
mbadl a.(Youknowhowt hathoeyoucalla
fr
iendnevermissesapart
y .
)
Me:
don'
tdot
hatt
oKay
la.
Mull
er:f
unnyhowshebulli
edyoui nhi
ghschool
butshe'
syourfr
iendnow.Ndiy
izondanyan
l
abit
ch( Ir
eal
lyhatet
hatbi
tch)
Me:shewasf ol
l
owingt hecr
owd.She
apol
ogizedandthat
'sinthepast
.SoIguessI
havetobeherebyforce?
Ki
ng:
yeah.I
'
llkeepy
oubymysi
deatal
lti
mes.
Me:It
houghty
ouguy
sdi
dn'
twantmet
oat
tend
par
ti
es.
Mul l
er:
wedon' twantyout
oattendpar t
ies
unlessyouhavesomeonewet r
usttherewi t
h
you.NdithembauYanga,uYangauthembamna
qha.(Ionlyt
rustYangaandYangaonl ytrust
s
me. )
Me:
*laughs*smoot
h.

Itookanappl
ewithwatersi
nceIcan'teatl
oads
offood.Mydi
etdoesn'
tall
owmet oo.I'
m onan
extr
emedietwit
hanint
ensiveexer
ciseplan.I
n
about6mont hsIwantt
obethin,
thenaf
termy
bodyisgood.I'
llgot
omyskin,
Ineeditt
obe
beaut
iful
,l
ikethosei
nst
agr
am gir
ls.

Me:
what
'
sthedr
esscode?
Ki
ng:(
laughs)atourhousepar
ti
estherei
sn'
ta
dr
esscode.Nxibalent
ouyif
unayo.(
Justwear
whaty
ouwannawear .
)
Mul
l
er:
nohoei
shcl
othes,
justy
ournor
mal
shi
t.

Inoddedheadi ngbackt omyr oom.Mybr ot

hers
areinagangt hatdoheist
s.Idon'tgetinvol
ved
i
nt heirst
uff
,andIam saf e.Idon'twantpeople
toknowwe' rer el
atedbecausetheymi ghthurt
me.Ist ar
tedst udyi
ngagainwhileeati
ngt he
apple.IgotdisturbedbyKaylacalli
ng,Ipi
ckedit
up.

Me:
skeem (
fri
end)
Kay:skeem (
fri
end)
.We'
regonnashoppi
ng
tomorrow.
Me:tomor
row?Can'
t.Ihavet
ogostudywi
th
Car
do,heaskedmetohelphi
m onsomet
hing.
Kay:wai
t?I
sthatt
omor
row?If
orgoty
ou'
re
goi
ngonadate!
Me:what
?No.I
t'
sjustst
udy
ingi
nal
i
brar
y.Not
adat
e.
Kay:Idi
dn'tt
hinkCardowasy ourty
peofdi
ck.
Butgeti
ton, si
s.Andikhal
azi
.(Iam not
complai
ning.
)
Me:Kayl
a!(
laughsembar
rassed)Iam hangi
ng
upt
hisphone.You'r
ewei
rd.Yenziwenguwe
l
ent
o!(You'
rethesameonewhodi dthi
s!)
Kay
la:
ciaobi
tch!
Me:
lov
eyout
ooi
diot
.

Webot
hdr
oppedt
hecal
l
,Ideci
dedt
owat
ch
somemov iebutfir
stIcheckedmyFacebook
requests,Iacceptedpeopl eIknewanddel eted
thoseIdidn't
.MyI nstagram i
sn'tpri
vatebutI
postthingsthatareappr opri
ateforit
.Idon't
wantt ogetturneddownonaj obint
erview
becausemyI nst
agram, Twitt
erandFacebook
wer enotappropri
ate.Isortedmybooks
accordingl
y,thenItextedCardot hatweshoul d
meetupear lysoIcangett herestofthedayt o
my sel
f.

me:let'
smeetupat10am Ineedsometi
met o
myself
.I'
llbebusyt
hewholedaythat
'
stheonl
y
t
imeI '
mf r
ee.
Car
do :
okay
.We'
l
lmeetatt
hel
i
brar
y?
Me:
yeah.Seey
out
hen.
Car
do:

Ial
way
sli
etopeopl
eandsayI
'
m gonnabebusy
butI '
m alwaysonmybooksorI 'm wat chingtv.I
j
ustdon' tli
kebei ngar oundpeopl e.That'
swhyI
l
ieandsayI '
m busy .Ididn'ttel
lmybr others
aboutt hestudysessi onwi thCar dobecause
theymi ghtgetangr y.Ar oundthecampusCar do
i
sknowf organgr epresenting[doi nggang
activi
ti
es.Repr esentingagang] .Her epshis
gang, andhe'sal wayswear i
ngAmer i
canf l
ag
clothes.Her epst heAmer i
cansgang.Hehad
askedmet ohel phim wi ththecl asshe
strugglesin,alt
houghIwasgonnasayno, but
Kay l
ajumpedsay i
ngy es.Iwasangr ybutIhad
todoi tbecauseI 'm oneoft het opst udentsin
mycl asses,cur r
ently,andI'l
lfeel badifIdidn'
t
helphim.
~~~
NextdayIshower edafterIr
eturnedfrom the
gym.IcouldseeIwasl osingabi tofweight,my
stomachandwai stwasget ti
ngal i
ttl
ebit
small
er.Thankstothewai sttr
ainerbutmy
thi
ghswerestil
lbig.Ineedtowor kont hat,my
asswassl owlyi mprov ing.Istartedthegy m3
mont hsagobutI 'm alreadyt i
redofi t.Even
thought heresul t
sgi vememot ivati
on.Iwor e
mybl ackbaggyt eewi t
hmydar kbl uej eggi
ngs.
ThenIwor emysandal s,Iti
edmybr aidsintoan
'
idcst yle'Itookmyt inybag.Iwentout ,my
brother swer en'theresoIt ookat axitothe
school l
ibrary.WhenIgott here,Isatdown
waitingf orCar do.Ideci dedonl ookingatwhat
we'l
l dowhenhear r
iv es.

Me:
I'
ll
justst
arti
nthebasi
cs.

Isai
dt omy sel
fsearchi
ngf organgthi
ngson
Google.Myphonev ibr
atedwhileIwassti
l
l
busysearchingontheweb.

Car
do:
you'
rei
nsi
de?
Me:
yeah.
Aft
er10mi nutesIsawhi m ent
ertheli
brar
y.He
hadhisheadphoneson, hewaswear i
ngan
Americancoloredteewithj
eanssaggingonthe
backhehadonr edandblueJordan12s.
Americanfl
agpr i
ntedbandanawasi nhis
pocketbutswingingar
ound.

Cardo:sorr
yI'
ml at
e.Hadt
odeal
wit
h
somethingreal
quick.

Ijustnodded.Iwentbacktot
hefi
rstpage,
he
tookouthisbooks,Inoti
cedabagofweedin
there.Hequicklyputi
tbacki
nhisbag.

Me:okay
,howaboutwestar
tfr
om t
hebasi
cs.
Thenwegoupfrom t
her
e?
Car
do:
aight
.Ev
ery
thi
ng'
scool
wit
hme.
West art
edstudy i
ng,hewassl owbutIhel
ped
him.Itri
edusinggangst uffasanexampleso
helpcouldcatchiteasi
lyandmyt heor
ywor ked!
Hecaughti nquickl
y.Ihadt oGoogl
egang
thi
ngst ofamil
iari
semy sel
fwithit
.Aft
er3
hours,Itol
dhim weshoul dgethomenow.He
agreed

Cardo:
thanksagainforthi
s.Whencanyouhel
p
meagain?Iunderstandi
ttoyourwayrat
her
thanMrMay bank'
sway .
Me:
I'
mfr
eeal
mostev
ery
daysoi
t'
supt
oyou.
Car
do:
okay
.I'
l
ltexty
ou.

Inoddedwal
kingoff
,Ideci
dedt
owalktothe
taxi
rank,
butonthewayIgotacal
lfr
om King.
me:
mkhul
uwa(
bigbr
other
)
Ki
ng:
uphi
?(wher
ear
eyou?
.)
me:
I'
m att
het
axi
rank.Iwasatt
hel
i
brar
y.
King:okay
.Uqaleni
niuf
undakwi
li
braryy
esgela
ngoku?(Sincewhendoyoust
udyattheschool
l
ibrar
y?)
me:sinceyouat
tackedmef
rom bei
ng
ant
isocial
.
King:
Lelona.Youknowweonl
ywantwhat
'
s
bestforyou.
Me:
Iknow.Iknow.
King:good.Xaubuyaungapheka.(
Whenyou
retur
ndon'tcook)
,I'
veor
deredsomethi
ng.
Me:
okay
.Mul
l
eruphi
?(Wher
eisMul
l
er?
)
Ki
ng:
ukhona.(
He'
sher
e)
Me:
okaysur
e
Ki
ng:
lov
eyou.
Me:
lov
eyout
oo.

Webot hdr oppedt hecal l,Igotinsi deand

waited30mi nutesfort het axitof il
l up.Ki ng
call
edagai nandwant edt ocomef etchmebutI
tol
dhi mt hatIcanwai t, hewant edmet obe
socialthiswasmychance.Al t
houghIdon' ttalk
atallinthet axibutIdi dn' tgetananxi etyat t
ack.
Thiswasani mpr ovement .Iarri
v edhomet ot he
smel lofweed.Ir ol
ledmyey es, Iaskedmy
brothersni celynottosmokewhenI '
m ar ound.I
wasshockedt of i
ndf emal esIdi dn'tev enknow,
i
nourl i
vingr oom.Iwant edtosaysomet hing
butIam hel dmy selfback.Theygr eet ed,Ijust
wavedgoi ngt omyr oom.Af terawhi l
eI
watchedmov i
esinmyr oom, Ihear dgi rl
s'
l
aught er.Andl oudmusi c.Igotannoy ed, gosh
whydi dn'tItaket her esl if
eov ert his?I
connect edmyheadphonesont hel apt opand
continuedwat chingt hemov ie.Lat eratni ght
thehousewaspackedandi twasnoi sy ,
some
peoplewoul dacci dent lyopenmydoort hinking
i
t'sthebat hroom.Iendedupl ockingmyr oom.
Igotat extfr om Kay l
at el
lingmet omeether
downst ai
rs.I t
's11pm andt hesepeopl ear estill
nottir
ed?Iputonmygown, Iopenedt hedoor ,
andsomepeopl e'sey eswer eonme, some
chuckled.Iqui cklyclosedt hedoor .Gosh!Why
thefuckdi dIwearpj '
st hinkingi t
'sokay .I
changedi ntomygr eymat chingsweat pant sand
sweatshirtwi thbl ackt eeunder neat hthe
sweatshirtandmychucks.Il etmyhai rloose
andheadeddownst ai
rs,atl eastt hist i
me
peoplewon' tbel aughi ngatme.ButIst ill
hat e
peoplelooki ngatme.OnceIar r
iveddownst airs,
Imetupwi thKay la.Shehadapeachcr opt op
onwi t
habl uet ightjeans, herweav ewascur ly
thenshehadonwhi teai r
max.

Kay
la:
real
l
y?Sweat
stoapar
ty?Lel
ona.
Me:
stopwhi
ning.Andi
funi
nobal
apha(Idon'
t
ev
enwantt
obeher
e.)

Igotatextfr
om Ki
ngsay
ingt
hey
'r
eint
hel
i
ving
room Ishouldbet
her
e

Me:
Kingwant
smei
nthel
i
vingr
oom.
Kay
la:
okay
.Ineedashotf
ir
st.
Me:
I'
ll
askt
hem wher
etheal
cohol
is.Come.

Idraggedhert othelivi
ngroom.Therewere
l
oadsofpeopl eint heli
vingroom.Iwasabit
scared.Ist ar
tedbreathingheavy.Mybrother
s
noticed,theyquicklyrantomeandt ookmet o
theot herroom withoutpeoplenoti
cingIwas
havingananxi etyat t
ack.

Ki
ng:
Lel
ona,
cel
auphef
uml
e.[
pleasebr
eat
he.
]
Ihadtearsi
nmyey es.It
ri
edbreathi
ngsl
owly
butmychesthurtsobad.Itwasli
kemylungs
wereclosi
nginonme.

Mull
er:
we'r
ehere.Justbr
eat
he.Yonkeint
o
i
grand(Ev
eryt
hing'
sokay.
)Justbr
eathe.
Ki
ng:
fuck!Ishoul
d'
veknowny
ouwer
en'
tready
.

Ist
art
edbreathi
ngslowly.Iwi
pedmyt ear
s
whenIfel
tokay,Ihuggedmybr ot
her
sshaking.

Me:
Idon'
twantt
hesepeopl
eher
e,pl
ease.
Mul
ler
:babygi
rl
.You'
renotgonnadi
e,y
ouhav
e
t
ofacepeopl
e-
Ki
ng:
Khazi
mla-
Mull
er:
no,Yanga.Ilov
eoursist
erbutwehave
tost
opbabyingher.Asi
zohl
alasil
apha
zi
zombambai sandl
a.(Wewon'tal
waysbeher
e
t
ohol
dherhand.
)
Ki
ng:
I'
ll
alway
sbeher
e.
Mul
l
er:
youknowwhatt
hisi
s?

Mull
erl
ookedatme.Inoddedget
ti
ngt
ear
y-
ey
ed.

Mul
l
er:
whati
sit
?
Me:
toughl
ove.
Muller
:it
'sst
il
ll
ov e.Ican'
tl
etyoubeweakl i
ke
thi
s.Weaknessi snotinourgenes.You'
renot
fal
l
ing,wegoty ou.Nowheaduphi gh,guar
dup
andlet'
sgo.

Inodded.KingwatchedMul l
erwal
kout.Meand
Kingwalkedout,
peopl est
aredatusprobabl
y
wonderi
ngwhyIhadr edeyes.Andthey
probabl
ynowknowI '
mr el
atedtothem.We
headedbackt ot heli
vi
ngroom.Onlymy
brothers' gangmember swerethereIknow
they'
ret hegangmember sbecauseeachof
them thesamet attooofanAmer i
candol l
ar
signont heirforearm,andagangsi gnofaBon
theforear m also.Nobodyelsewast her
e,i
t
mademewonderi fKaylawassti
llaround.Igot
i
nt r
oduced, ther
ewasX, Game,Tri
gger ,
Gunz
andmybr others.
.
X:sothi
sist
hel
i
ttl
epr
incessweal
way
shear
about
.

Ismi
l
ednoddi
ng.Igotuptol
eav
e,Ki
ngasked
mewher
eIwasheading.

Me:
togi
vey
ouguy
spr
ivacy
.I'
m goi
ngt
omy
r
oom.
Ki
ng:
youcansi
t.
Inoddedsi t
ti
ngdown, ast heyproceeded
tal
king.Il
aughev eryti
meeachoft hem woul
d
tel
last or
yev ent
houghIdi dn'tevenknowthei
r
governmentnames, t
heywer ereall
y
entert
aini
ng.Thel i
vi
ngr oom dooropenedand
Cardowal kedin.

Car
do:
didn'
tknowy
ouf
uckedwi
thBr
ims.

Everyone'
sgotqui
etlywonder
ingwhohe'
s
tal
kingto.Mybrot
her'sgangi
scall
ed"
Bri
ms"I
tri
edgetti
ngthem t
oexplaini
ttomebutdol
olo
answer

Me:
KingandMul
l
erar
emybr
other
s.
Cardo:
ohshi
t!NowonderInev
erseey
ouof
f
campus.
Ki
ng:
howdoy
ouknowmyl
i
ttl
esi
ster
?
Cardo:she'
shel
pingmei
nst
udy
ing.Wewentt
o
theli
brar
ytoday
.

KingandMul
l
erlookedatme.Il
ookeddown,
I
knowI'mi
ntr
ouble.

Mul
l
er:
whyar
eyouher
eCash?
Cardo:
bossmanwantstospeakt
oyal
l
tomorr
owaboutahei
st.
Ki
ng:
okay
,nowgo.

Car
dowal
kedout
.If
eltbadbecauset
heywer
e
sor
udet
ohim.

Ki
ng:
Idon'
twantyouhangingwi
thgang
member
s.I
t'
sdangerous.
Me:
I'
m hangi
ngwi
thy
all
.
Mul
l
er:
don'
tgetsmar
twi
thus.
Tr
igger
:atl
easti
t'
sCash.He'
shar
mless
King:
sti
llt
hatni
ggai
shar
d-headedhemi
ght
getherhur
t.
Me:he'
snotevenfri
endswit
hme.Ijusthel
p
hi
m wit
honeclass.Howdoy ouev
enknowhim?
He'
saAmer i
canmember .
Mul
l
er:
whatdoy
ouknowaboutgangs?
Me:
IjustGoogl
est
uff
.
Mull
er:we'r
eapar toftheAmeri
cangangbuton
adif
ferentbl
ock.Justli
ke26stogethert
hey
'r
e
26sbutsomebr anchoutwithothernamesli
ke
NastyBoys.Butthey'r
esti
ll
26s.

Inodded.IcanseeMull
erwasn'
thappywit
h
mehangingwi t
hgangmembers.Hewantedme
tobesafeallt
heti
me.
Ki
ng:maybeCashcankeepaney
eoutf
ory
ou
i
nschool
.

Ishrugged.Theycontinuedonwiththeirstor
ies,
Ij
ustlist
ened.Afterawhi l
epeoplestar
ting
gett
ingintheli
vingroom again,
Kinglookedat
me.Inoddedt oshowhi mI '
m okay.Kaylasat
nexttome.

Kay
la:
you'
reokaynow?
Me:
yeah.Ubuphi
?(wher
ewer
eyou?
)
Kayl
a:Iwant
eddogiveyouspace.Idon'
tl
ikei
t
whenyougetanxi
etyat
tacks.

Inot
icedshewasdrunk,soIjustsmi
ledather
.
Gunzconti
nuedtel
li
ngthestorywhenhe
al
mostgotarrest
edwhenhist wogir
lf
ri
ends
wer efighti
ngf orhim.Ot herpeoplelistenedt oo,
i
twaschi l
l
ed.May bet hispar t
yisn'
tbadaf t
er
all
.Istar t
edget ti
ngt hi
rst ysoIwentt ot he
kit
chent ogetmy selfsomecool dri
nk.Ther e
wer eal otofpeopl eint hekitchen.Inot iced
theywer emost l
ygangmember s.ItookaFant a
can, whenIt urnedar oundInot i
cedaguy
stari
nghar datme.Hi sf ri
endswer et alking
togetherbuthe' sattentionwasonme.Iqui ckly
walkedoutt hekitchent henIwentt ot hel i
vi
ng
room.Iopenedmydr i
nkandsatdown, the
cir
clewasst il
lformedandpeopl ewer est i
ll
l
isteningt othestories.

Kay
la:
Ineedt
ouset
het
oil
et.
Me:
eww
Kay
la:
noti
nthatway
!
Me:
okay
,go.I
'
m nothol
dingy
ouback*
laughs*
Kay
la:
comewi
thmepl
ease.
Me: don'
tfor
cei
tout
,it
'sgonnagett
her
e
passionat
ely
.
Kayl
a:*l
aughs*i
t'
sal
way
sthev
irgi
nst
hatsay
fr
eakyshi
t.

Webothlaughedasshedr
aggedmetowards
t
hebathroom.Whenwegotinshepeedt
hen
washedherhands.

Kayl
a:best
ieIhav
ebeenwaiti
ngformybaet
o
showup;buttj
oaka'
poppi(he'
snotar
ri
vi
ng.
)
Me:
it'
sagoodt
hinghecan'
tseey
oudr
unk.
Kayla:voetsekwena!Iyandi
'di
kafut
hilent
o
yakhoumdal akangakaunga't
yiwa[
you,fuckof
f!
Andt hi
st hi
ngofy oursnotbei
ngfuckedannoys
me]
Me:mxm.Leavemyvi
rgi
nit
yal
one.Idi
dn'
ttel
l
youwhent
olosey
our
s.
Kayl
a:uya'
thandauthet
haikakay
akhofuthi
,
mnqunduwakho.* l
aughs*(Youl
ovetal
ki
ngshi
t,
youass)

I'
m usedt oKaylabeingdr unksowhat evershe
saysgoesononeearandoutt heotherhonestl
y.
Idraggedheroutt hebat hroom.Oncewewer e
ont hecorri
dorIsawt hecut ekit
chenguy
appr oachi
nguswi thoneofhi sfri
end.Kayla
rushedt ohugtheot herguyshift
ingallofher
weightonhi m.Ishookmyhead.

Kay
la:
Scr
appywher
ethef
uckhav
eyoubeen!?
Scr
appy
:gety
ost
upi
ddr
unkassof
fme,br
uh.
Kayl
a:no.Anywaythat
'smyfr
iendLel
ona.We
wannagot ot
heracebabe.

Il
ookedatherl
ikeshehad2heads.I'
m not
goi
nganywherewit
hpeopleIdon'
tknow.
Scr
appy:Lel
onadoesn'
tl
ookl
i
keshewant
sto
go*l
aughs*
Kayl
a:Zaywil
lkeephercompany .Chomi
,
uyamaziuXav
iermos?( Fr
iend,
youknowXav
ier
ri
ght?
)

Ishookmyheadno, notev
enlooki
ngatt
he
cutekit
chenst
rangerwhom nowIknowas
Xavier.

Kayl
a:kant
i uzomazikwi
'
raceke.(
You'
l
lknow
hi
m attheracethen)

Ipul
ledKaylaawayfrom Scrappy
,andtookher
tomyr oom.AsIsaidbeforeIdon'
tli
ketal
ki
ng
topeopleIdon'
tknoworar oundpeopl
eIdon't
know.
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Kay
la:
taki
ngy
out
other
ace.
Me:
andi
funi
ukuyakul
e'
racemna(
Idon'
twant
t
ogotot
hisrace.
)
Kay
la:
finet
henbeabor
ingbi
tchwi
thnoni
ggas.
Me:
wit
hpl
easur
e.
Kayla:you'r
egonnaf uckingdi eal
oneandy ou
won'tcrytomecompl ainingnobodylovesy ou.
Youwantev eryonet opityyoubecauseof
stupidanxietyattacks.Gr owsomebal lsand
confidencewhi l
ey ou'r
eati t.Yourbrot
hers
won'tbet hereforev ertol i
etoy ouever
ytime.
Stopbei ngababy ,thisislif
e.Iwon'tpi
tyyou
becauset heseatt acksar est upi
d!Youwon'tdie
fr
om t hem.
Me:
youdon'
tunder
stand-
Kayl
a:I
'm happyIdon'
t.Gr
owupman!I'm not
gonnabefri
endswithweakbi
tches.Andsave
t
hosetear
sfort
hepi
l
low.You'
rei
nvar
sit
y,act
l
i
keit
!

Thenshest ormedout .Isatdownmybed

wipingthetearsIhad.Ishoul dn'thaveletKayla
dri
nkknowi nghowsheget swhenshe' sdrunk.
Il
ockedmydoorandchangedi ntomyPJst hen
Iproceededtosl eepwi thmyhur tfeel
ings.
Tomor r
owi sanot herday ,andIknowKay l
a'
s
gonnaapologizesay ingshedi dn'tmean
anythi
ng,butdr unkmout hsspeaksobermi nds
[
02/
17,
09:
58]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER~
I
NSERT2
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-

Sot
henextdayar
ri
vedqui
ckert
hanIexpect
ed.
My6: 30AM al
arm wokemeupr emindi
ngmeI
havet ogotothegy m.Mytrai
nermustbe
waiti
ngf orme,Iappoint
edafemaletrai
nerto
avoidtheawkwar dlooksmengivetofemales.I
neverhadaboy fri
endandI'
m notlooki
ngfor
oneany ti
mesoon!

Me:
looksl
i
keI
'
mfr
eeaf
tert
hegy
mtoday
.

Iusual
lyjustsitandwat chTVonSat ur
day
s
aft
erIcomebackf rom thegy m.Af termy
shower ,
Iwor emygy m kitandpr oceededthere.
WhenIar ri
v edat7:40AM onlyaf ewpeople
werethere.NalediandIst art
ed,after3hoursI
wastiredashel l
.Ishower edintheshower sand
woremyot hersweats,sweat pantsand
sweatshirt
,myphoner ang,IfrownedwhenI
sawitwasKay l
a.
me:
hey
.*f
rowns*
Kayl
a:heyskeem sam (
myf
ri
end)
.Lookabout
l
astnight
-
Me: y
ouapol
ogizeandy
ou'resor
ry.Al
cohol
and
yourmout
hjustdon'
tmix?
Kay
la:
Lona..
.
Me:
I'
vehear
dital
lbef
ore,Kay
la.
Kayl
a:xol
onyan.(I
'
mr eal
lysorr
y),
Idon'tknow
whatcameoverme.Ishould'
veunder
stoodwhy
you'
vebecomethi
swayI '
m sorr
y.
Me: ewekakade(
yesy
oushoul
dhav e)
,
especial
l
ysincey
oual
sopar
ti
cipat
edinit
.
Kay l
a: wenev ermeantf orthebully
ingtobe
extreme.I twasj ustsupposedt obet easing.I
didn'tthi
nkt heywoul dgof arast obeatingy ou
uport r
yingtor apey ou.I'
mr eall
ysorry,
bendi ci
ngasi shiyengasemv aizi
nto
ezigqithi
leyo.(Ithoughtwel ef
tthepasti nthe
past.)
Me:nam bendi
cingel
ont
o.(
Ithoughtsot
oo.
)
Unt
ilyouemoti
onall
yhur
tmeagain.ByeKay
la.
Kayl
a:skeem pl
ease,justmeetmeinmy
apar
tmentsowe'llt
alk.Pleasenow.

Idroppedt hecal lwi pingmyt ear

s.Thankgod
theshower swer eempt y.I
nhi gh-school Kay l
a'
s
groupoff r
iendst riedt orapemeoncei nt he
school toil
et s,butt heschool 'scl
eanerhear d
thenoi se, Iwasmaki ngscr eami ngf orthem t o
stopt ear i
ngupmycl othes, shest oppedt hem.I
onlyt oldmybr ot her st hattheyt r
iedt of i
ghtme,
nott hatt heyt riedt or apeme.Igott oo
embar rassed, notev er yonecansaygi rl
st ri
edt o
rapet hem.Iwast ooashamedIwast hatweak.
Ididn'twantt ot alkt oKay l
abutmyhear tdi dn'
t
wantt olosemybestf riendbecauseIdon' t
haveanyot herf ri
endssoIwentov erther e.It
wasn' ttoof ar,Iwal ked.WhenIwasnear byI
textedhert owai tformeatt hegat e.Ifinally
ar
ri
ved.

Kay
la:
I'
m sosor
ry.I
'
m nev
erdr
inki
ngagai
n.

Shehuggedmetight
,andIforgotal
lthewr
ong
thi
ngsshesai
dtomel astni
ght.Il
ovemyfri
end.
She'
smybestfri
endforcryi
ngoutloud.

Me:
I'
m sorr
ytoo,Ishoul
dn'
thaveboughtup
t
hepastwhenyouweretryi
ngtoapol
ogize.
Kay
la:
fri
endsf
orev
er?*
smi
l
es*
Me:
fri
endsf
orev
er

Welockedourpi
nki
es,ki
ssedourt
humbsand
br
ushedthem t
oget
herwhil
eourpi
nki
eswere
st
il
ll
ocked.
Kayl
a:comeoni
nsi
de.Iwanty
out
omeet
someone.
Me:ndi
yat
handazaay
o'ndoda.(
Ipr
ayi
t'
snota
man)
Kay
la:
gir
lhush!

Weranuptoherapar
tment.WhenIgotther
e,I
sawamant wi
ceheragewithafatst
omachbut
youcoul
dseehewasfil
thyri
ch.

Kayl
a:baethi
sismybest
ie.Lona,
thi
sismy
babyPatr
ick.

Iwasstunned,
IknewKay
lawaswil
djustnot
thi
sty
peofwi l
d!Iwav
edfeel
i
nguncomfort
abl
e.

Pat
ri
ck:she'
sbeaut
if
ul.Sheshouldj
oinus
somet
ime,I'
dgiveupami l
l
ionjustt
ohavea
meal
int
hosel
usci
ouscur
ves

Ifeltt
heneedtocov erupmybody,Idon'
tcare
evenifit
'schi
l
dish.Howcoul dheseemybody
throughmysweat shi
rt?Ineedtogetoutof
here.

Kayl
a:she'
snott
hatki
ndofgi
rl
,baba.Lookat
thet
ime,yourwi
femustbepi
ssedoff
.Idon'
t
wanthercal
li
ngmeagain.
Patr
ick:youhandl
elooki
ngpr
ett
yandI'
llhandl
e
mywi fe.I
twasnicemeeti
ngyouLona.Ihope
toseey ouagai
n.

Ij
ustnodded, t
hiswassoawkward.Hewas
mar r
ied!Assoonashelef
t,Il
ookedatmybest
fr
iend.
Kayl
a:don'
tyoudar
ejudgeme.Thebi
l
lsdon'
t
paythemsel
ves.
Me:
whataboutVi
we.Youl
ovet
hatguy
Kayla:i
sheherenow?No.He'
sfarawayinthe
farms,l
ovecan'
tpayt
hebi
ll
shoney,sexdoes
though.

Shesaidthatpatt
inghervigi
na.Ishookmy
head,Igotacallf
rom Cardo.Ifurr
owedmy
brows.IdecidedtonotanswerIhat et
alki
ngon
thephonewithpeopleIdon'tf
eelcomfortabl
e
with.Hesentmeat ext.

Car
do : I
'
m att
heli
brar
y.Wher
ear
eyou?You
won'
tbeabl
etomakeit?
Me:sor
ry,Idi
dn'
tknowwehadasessi
ont
oday
.
I
'l
lberi
ghtther
e.
Cardo :whydidn'
tyouanswermycal
l
?Okay
.
I
'
llbewai
ti
ngforyou
Idecidedtoi gnorehi squest i
onaboutt hecal
l
.I
l
ookedatmycl othesandIr eall
ydidn'tl
ook
presentable,andIr eall
ydon' twantany one
teasi
ngmeabouthowIl ook.Ihadenoughof
thatinhigh-school .I
'dhav et ostar
tathomet o
changemycl othesf i
rstthengetat axitogot
o
theli
brary.ItextedCar doagai n

me:I'
m notathome,I
'l
lhav
etost
artt
her
ethen
I
'l
lcat
chattaxitot
own.
Cardo : j
ustgi
vemetheaddr
esswher
eyou
areandI'
l
lgetyout
her
e,takey
ouhomethengo
tothel
ibr
arywit
hme

Thatsoundsl
ikeagoodi
deabutI
'
m st
il
lnot
comfort
ablewit
hhi
mt ogeti
nhi
scar.

Me:
Kay
la.Car
do'
ssuggest
ingt
hathecoul
d
takemehome, t
hengotot
hel
i
brar
y.Shoul
dI
sendhi
my ouraddr
ess?
Kay
la:
yeahsur
e.*
smi
rks*
Me:
don'
tgi
vemet
hatsmi
rk!
Kayla:j
ustdi
dn'
tthi
nkyou,
agirl
wit
htr
ust
i
ssues,wouldbequickt
ogivehi
mthe
fr
iendshi
ppri
vil
eges.
Me:
shutup.

ThenIfel
ttheneedtotel
lCar
dotocancel
becauseKaylaisabi
tchr
ight
.Idon'
tevenknow
Cardoli
kethat.It
ext
edhi
m Iwon'tmakeit
.

Me:can'
tmakei
t.Notf
eel
i
nggood.May
benext
week?
Car
do :
sur
ethi
ng.What
'
swr
ong?

Ideci
dednott
orespondt
ohi
m.He'
snotmy
f
ri
end.I
tdoesn'
ti
nvol
vehi
mifI
'
m si
ckornot
.

Me:
Icancel
l
ed.
Kayl
a:what!
?Lonayoudoreal
i
zethi
sanxi
ety
anddepr
essionofy
oursi
smakingyoul
ookli
ke
abadperson-

Kay l
akeptquietonceshehear
dmyphoner ing.
Ilookedatthecall
erID,i
twasCardo.Ideci
ded
toignorei
t,Kay l
asnatchedmyphone.BeforeI
couldstopher,sheansweredt
hecall
.

Kayl
a:heyCardo..
.ohshe' srighthere,perfectl
y
fi
ne..
.Ial
sodon'tknowwhyshewoul dli
e..
.
maybeit'
stheseanxietyattacksofher sthat
makeherstupid..
.I'
m nottrynabelit
tleher
si
tuati
onitj
ustannoy smesomet imes....boy!
*l
aughs*.
..l
ookimmat extyoumyaddr esst hen
wecanspendt ime,shemi ghtopenupt oy ou..
.
cool
.

Il
ookedatKay lai
nuttershock.Iwasalso
angrysheairedoutmybusi nessli
keitwas
nothing.ShejustsaidCardoisn'
tmyf r
iendso
whyi sshetell
inghim aboutmybusiness!I
don'tli
kethat!

Kay
la:l
ookI
'm goi
ngshowerthissexsmel
lof
f
me,youmakesnacksforourguest
s.
Me:
plur
al?
Kay
la:
yeah.He'
sbr
ingi
nghi
sfr
iendov
er.

Ij
ustnoddedknowi ngthatIwon' tbehere.She
wenttotheshowerandIqui cklygotup,quiet
ly
wentoutthedoorandr ushedoutoft he
apartment
s.Ijoggedtowar dst hegym,thenI
walkedhome.Itwasn'treal
lyt hatl
ongplusI
needtheexer
cise.Idon'thav emoneyt owaste
ont axif
aresev eryti
me.Ev ent houghIknowmy
brotherswouldgi veittomei nahear tbeat.I
don'tli
keaskingpeopl eforthingssomet imes.I
j
ustwantt odot hem onmyown.OnceIar r
ived
i
nt hehouse, Isawmybr others'crew.There
wasal otofmoneyont hetable.Iclosedmy
mout hbecauset her
ewasal otIwantedt osay,
j
ustwav edandwentt omyr oom.

Ki
ng:
Ical
l
edy
ou,
what
'
swr
ongwi
thy
ourphone?
Me:
youdi
d?Myphonei
sper
fect
lyf
ine.

Isear
chedformyphone,thenIr
eal
i
zedIlef
tit
atKayl
a'
sapart
ment!Isi
ghedknowi
ngthatI
can'
tgobackandtakeit
.

Me:
it'
satKay
la'
sapar
tment
!(si
ghs)
King:
ifunant
oni
pha?(
what
'
sitdoi
ngt
her
e?)
*conf
used*
Me:lef
titbymi
stakewhen..
.anyway
ubuzot
hini
?(Whatwereyougoingtosay
?)
King:
bendizot
hikhabeusi
yaeMall
.Si
'busy
aphaendl
ini(Iwasgonnasaygotothemal l
in
themeanti
me.We' r
ebusyherei
nthehouse)
Me:
oh.DoIst
il
lhav
etogo?*
conf
used*
Ki
ng:yeah.Weal
sohav
esomeguest
sont
he
way.
Me:
*si
ghs*okay
.Letmej
ustchange.

SinceIshower edatt hegym, andIthought

aboutt hetime, Idecidedtojustchangemy
cl
ot hes.Mybr othersdon'twantt ogetme
i
nv olvedintotheirbusiness,henceKi ngtold
met ogot othemal l.Ichangedi ntoawhite
l
ongsl eevebaggysweat shi
rt.Iworemybl ack
l
eggi ngsandwhi tesneakers.ThenIt ookmy
bl
ackpur sethathadmyshadesandev eryt
hing.
Idon'tlikewear i
ngmakeupsoIdi dn'
tapplyany.
Kingcamebackt
omyr
oom andt
hrewst
acks
ofcashonmybed.

Me:
andt
hen?*
sur
pri
sed*
Ki
ng:t
hathanobayi
ntoni
nauy
ifunay
o.(
get
what
everyouwant
.)
Me:
thi
sisal
otofmoney
,Yanga.
King:Iknow, i
t'
sjustR5000Looktheguestsar
e
herealready.Justleavewit
houtgoi
ngthrough
theli
vingroom okay ?
Me:
okay
.

Itookt
hemoney ,puti
nmypur seandwalked
outwit
hKing.Butdownthestair
ssomeone
withadeepvoiceIdi
dn'
trecogni
zecal
ledhim.

Ki
ng:
sur
ethi
ng,
boss.
Boss?AndIt houghtt heycont r
olledthemsel ves.
Itri
edgoi ngoutt hekitchenlookingatt heli
v ing
room, butIbumpedi ntosomeonehar d.Iwas
walkingf astsot hatmademef allonthekitchen
count ercor neritfel
tli
ket hecount erstabbed
mehar d,Iscreamed.Iwasont hev ergeof
tears.Ir eali
sedi twast hepartyguy ,Xavi
erifI '
m
notwr ong.Ki ngandMul lerquicklycamet ot he
kit
chen,Iwasnowcr ying.TheXav i
erguytried
getti
ngmeupbutmybackhur tsobad.

Mul
l
er:
thef
uck,
Rel
l
ikbr
uh!?*
angr
y*

What'
shisname?Xavi
erorRel
l
ik?May
behi
s
st
reetnameisRel
l
ik?

King:
Lonacany
ougetup?Wehav
etogety
ou
up.
Mul
l
er:
yi'
kakal
euy
enzi
l
eyokodwa.Mnqundu
wakho(
whaty
oudi
disshi
t,y
ouass)
Xavi
er:Idi
dn'
tseeherman.Butcoolitwit
hthe
words.Idon'
twantyourl
i
ttl
esi
sterseeingme
knockyourassout.
Mul
l
er:
sav
eyourbr
eat
handl
et'
sgo.
Tr
igger
:thechi
l
d..
..*
annoy
ed*

Tri
ggerremi
ndedthem.MullerandKinggotme
up,Il
i
mpedt owar
dsthedoor .Ihavetogetout
ofhere,
somanypeopleIdon' tknow.I'
ll
just
havetogotothemallorsomewher eelse

Mul
l
er:
uyaphi
?(wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
)
Me:mall?I
'
llbef
ine.Youguy
sfi
nishy
our
busi
ness.I
'
m okay.
Mul
l
er:
X,t
ell
GhostI
'
llbeback.I
'
mtaki
ngy
ou
t
her
e.
Justt
henanolderguywal
kedinthekit
chen
wit
h..
.Scr
appy?Ishoul
d'
vejustst
ayedat
Kayl
a'
sapart
ment .

Ghost
:you'
regoi
ngwher
e?
Mull
er:t
aki
ngmyl
i
ttl
esi
stert
othemal
l
,I'
l
lbe
r
ightback.
Ghost
:Ineedyouherenow,togothrought
he
pl
anwithus.Rel
l
ikcantakeyoursi
stertot
he
mall
.Hurr
yupboy s,
Idon'
thaveall
day .

Ghoststar
edatme, Il
ookedawaybecausei t
wasuncomf or
tabl
ehewaswayol derthanme.
Maybehewasmydad' sage.Mybrothersdidn'
t
not
icethestar
eortheyjustact
edli
ket hey
di
dn't
?Ormay beI'
mi magini
ngthi
ngs

Mull
er:
makesureshe'
sther
esafel
y.Lonawi
l
l
youbeokaywi
thhiminthecar
?
Me:
no.
Xav
ier
:*l
aughs*whatam Igonnado?Rapeher
?
Comeon,Ihavet
ohurryback.

Ili
mpedt owar dshi scar
,whi chl eftmeshocked.
ItwasaLambor ghini
,ablackone.I twasso
beauti
ful.
..If r
ozeanddi dn'tev enwanttoopen
thedoor,Ijustst oodnearthecar ,hegoti
nand
waitedforme.Ij uststoodt her e.Heshookhis
headget t
ingoutandopenedt hedoorforme.I
gotinwitht ear sinmyey esbecausemyback
hurtsobad, Ihadt ogetlowt ogeti n.Oncehe
gotinagain, hesawIwascr yi
ng.

Xavi
er:
I'
m notgonnadoany
thi
ngt
oyou.Why
ar
eyoucryi
ngnow?
Me:mybackhur
tssobad.Idon'
twantt
ogot o
themal
lanymor
e.Pl
easetakemetoKay l
a'
s
apar
tment
.
Xav
ier
:okay
.

Hedr ov eoutoftheyard,It houghthewas

takingmet oKay l
abuthewentt oadifferent
direct
ion.Igotal i
ttl
escar ed, Istar
ted
breathingheavy.Gosh, anot herpanicattack.It
gotext rahardt
obr eathe,t earswer efalli
ngreal
har dbutnosoundwascomi ngout.Hel ooked
atme, that'
swhenhegotr eal worri
ed.

Xav
ier
:what'
swrong?Shi
t!Mul
l
er'
sgonnaki
l
l
me.Whatshoul
dIdo!?

Istar
tingpoi
nti
ngatmychest ,
itwashar
dto
breat
he.Hepar kedthecaronthesi
deofthe
road,gotoutandrushedtomyside.

Xavier
:hey.LookI'
m sor
ryf
oryourback.St
op
cr
ying.I'
mjusttr
yingtot
akeyoutomydoctor
f
oracheckupIpromiseIwon'
tdoanythi
ngto
y
ou.Icancal
lyourbrot
hersri
ghtnowtoassur
e
t
hem.Pleasej
uststopcryi
ng.*si
ghs*

I
nfewseconds,hecall
edmybr ot
her
stel
li
ng
t
hem I
'
m notbreat
hingproper
ly.Hethengave
t
hephonetome.

Ki
ng: li
lsi
s,l
istentomyv oice.I
t'
sokay.Rel
l
iki
s
j
ustt aki
ngyout ohisdoctor.Oryoucoul
dgoto
Kayla.He'str
ustworthy
,Iloveyouokay?Just
breatheit
'sgonnabeokay .

Af
terafewmi nut
esofKingconv
inci
ngmeto
br
eathe,Ist
art
edbreat
hingsl
owly
.Xavi
erwi
ped
mytearssurpr
isi
ngme.Hehadasmal l
smil
e

Me:I'
m okaynow.I
'
m gonnagot
oKay
la'
s
apar
tment.
Ki
ng:okay
,I'
l
lgety
ouf
rom t
her
ewhenI
'
m done.
Il
oveyou.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.

IgaveXav i
erhisphone.Hewentbackt ohis
hardface.Isatproper
lyasheclosedt hedoor,
goingtohisside.Ismil
edalit
tl
ethinkingof
howconcer nedhewas, Idi
dn'
tevent hinkhe
wast hebeggingtype.

Xavi
er:
howt hefuckwasIsupposedt oknow
shehasanxiet
yprobl
ems?...Iwastakingher
Dr.Marbur
g..
.okayIheary
ou...shar
p.

Hegoti nsidethecar
,Idon'
tthi
nkheknowsI
heardhim.Iwassoembar r
assed,Icouldn'
t
evenlookhi sway.Thecarri
dewassilent,I
di
dn'tevenknowhowt osaythankyou.ShouldI
evensayt hankyou?He'stheonewhogav eme
backpai
n.

Xavi
er:
Ididn'
tknowy ouhadanxi
etypr
obl
ems.
Youscaredmet her
e.
Me:
sor
ry,
thanky
ouf
orhel
pingme.
Xavier
:sure.I
'
mjustgonnatakeyoutomydoc
thengetyoutoKayl
a'sapar
tmentokay?

Ij
ustnodded.Ihopethedoctorcangiveme
somethi
ngforthisbackpai
n.It'
sunbearabl
e.
~~~~
WhenwegottoKay l
a'
sapartment
,shewas
t
hereal
one.Thankgod!Xavi
ermadesureIgot
i
nsafel
y,andthenhelef
t.

Kay
la:
Zayhuh?*
frowns*
Me:notl
ikethat.Hewasatmybr ot
her
s'house.
Theyhadbusinesstodi
scuss.Ibumpedint
o
hi
m, hi
tthecor
neroft
hekit
chencount
erand
her
eIam withmysoreback.
Kayl
a:serv
esyouri
ghtf
orrunni
ngof
fli
ket
hat
.
PoorCardothi
nksy
ouhatehim.
Me: what?Ihopey
outoldhi
m Ij
ustdon'
tli
ke
spendinginti
mewithpeopl
eIdon'
tknow

Il
impedtoherroom.Mybackwasal i
tt
lebetter
si
nce,Xav
iertol
dthedoctort
ogivemea
massageandsomepi l
l
sthensomet hi
ngtor ub
onmyback.Nowal lIwantedtodowassl eep.I
gotonKayl
a'sbedandtri
edtosleepmypai n
off
[
02/
17,
10:
11]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER~
I
NSERT3
.
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwokeupt onoi sesl i
kemenwer et alki
ng,
scrat
cht hat.Theywer eshout ing, Igotupwi t
h
theli
tt
lepai nIhad.I twasbet terbutst il
l,i
twas
painf
ul.Iwentt obrushmyt eet hsi nceIhada
badtasteinmymout h.Ther oom hadadoor
thatl
edt ot hebat hroom.Ilookedf ormyphone
aroundther oom butIdi dn'
tfindi t.Gosh,Idon't
wanttogetoutt heroom.Ther e'spr obablyalot
ofpeopleoutt here.After15mi nut esoft hi
nking
whetherIshoul dgetoutornot , Igai nedthe
courageandf inall
ycameoutt her oom, assoon
asIgotout , IsawXav i
er.Igotst uckatt hedoor,
whydoesKay laalsohav emenar ound?Thi sis
souncomf or t
able.
Xav
ier
:hey
.Whyar
eyoust
andi
ngneart
hedoor
?

Iwantedtoanswer ,butasusual
.Wor dsgot
stuckinmyneck, notcomingoutmymout h.I
l
ookedar oundthehouselooki
ngforKayla.I
knowshedi dn'
tleavemeinherapart
mentwi th
astranger!

Xavi
er:
shewentoutwit
hScrappy
.Theywent
togetf
ood.Theyj
ustl
eftnow

Ijustnodded, asIwasaboutt ogetbacki nthe

room, heclearedhisthroat.ButIdidn'
tev en
care,Ijustwentinandl ookedatmypi l
ls.I
decidedt otakethem again,sincethepainwas
comi ngbacknow, t
henIr ubbedthecr eam on
painfulpart
.WhenIwentt ot hekit
chen.I
couldn'tseehim attheliv
ingr oom/kit
chensoI
thoughtmay beheleft
.Itookof fmysweat er
l
eavingmyonlyi
nmyt anktopandsweatpants.
Ihat
ebeingi
nmyt anktopbecauseit
'swaytoo
ti
ghtformyl
iki
ng.Idr
ankthepil
ls.

Xav
ier
:ar
eyoual
way
sthi
spar
anoi
d?
Me:
i-i
'
m notpar
anoi
d
Xavi
er:fi
nal
l
y,shet
alkst
omewi
thoutt
ear
sin
hereyes.

Iwant edtosayIwasn' tcr yi

ngatt hepar ty
,butI
didn't.Iremember edIdi dn'ttalktohim atall
,at
thepar t
y.Iwasgonnar emi ndhi m ofthetimesI
talkedt ohim withoutcrying, butIdecidednot
toIwor ethesweatshirtagai n,eventhoughI
wasf eeli
ngextrahot.Ilookedar oundf ormy
cellphone.Xav ierwentbackt oplayi
ngt he
Xboxsi ncewhendi dKay l
ahav eanXbox?I 'l
l
takeawi ldguessandsayi t
'stheirsandmay be
that'swhyIhear dnoi sest heywer efrom
ScrappyandXav i
er.OnceIf i
nal
lyfoundmy
phone,Isawthe6mi ssedcallsfr
om my
brother
seach.IntotalIhad12mi ssedcall
sand
6messages.Mostofmyt extswerefrom
Vodacom, butIopenedt hetextfr
om Ki ngfi
rst
.

King :
goi
ngtoPret
ori
aforaweek,
if
you'r
euncomfort
abl
ewithbei
ngint
hehouse
alone.St
aywit
hKayl
a.Loveyou♥
Me:okay,
I'
ll
juststayi
nt hehouseal
one.Just
wokeup,di
dn'tseethetext.Ar
eyougone
al
ready
?

Myphoner ang,itwasMull
er.They'
repr
obabl
y
toget
her.Isatdownontheothercouch
caref
ull
y.Andf arawayf
rom Xavi
er.

Me:
bigbr
other
?
Mul
l
er:
you'
resaf
e?
Me:
yes.I
'
m wi
thKay
la.
Mull
er:okay.Idon'
tl
ikey
oustayi
ngaloneatt
he
house.I
'l
lgetBobbytostayonguar
datthe
house.
Me:
okay
,besaf
e.Il
ovey
ou.
Mul
l
er:
lov
eyout
ool
i
lsi
s.

IwatchedasXav i
erplayedracingcar sonthe
Xbox.Itl
ookedcool butIwoul dn'ttellhi
mt hat
.
Anideacamei ntomindt hatIshoul dgohome,
andI'
llpr
obabl ymeetBobbyt here.Igotupand
wenttother oom toseei fIl
eftany thing.When
Isawitdidn'
t,ItookmybagandIt houghtIwas
gonnagowi thouthimt alki
ngt ome, buthe
deci
dedtot alk!Why!?

Xav
ier
:Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Me:
home.
Xav
ier
:justsi
tdown.
Me:
Iwantt
ogohome
Xavier
:di
dn'
tIheary
ou?Sitdown,Lel
ona.I'
l
l
takeyouhome,whenI'
m donechi
l
lingwit
h
Scrappy.

Ididn'twanttoarguesoItookaseat ,wat
ching
him playhisgame.I'
m soscar edtoevenmake
him angrybecauseheal wayshasanangr yf
ace.
Hecoul dnotstopplayi
ngitandIwant edtogo.
Ineededt ostudy,i
twaswaypastmyst udyi
ng
ti
me.Thet i
menowwas16: 34.Igoton
What sAppaskingKaylawhereshewas.Idon' t
l
ikethatshel ef
tmewi thastranger.She
vi
deocal l
edme.

Me:
Kay
la.
Kayl
a:chomi
e.We'
reonourwayI
'
m sor
ry,
we
gothel
dup.
Me:
Iknowy
ourt
ypeof"
Igothel
dup".

Xavierchuckl
edbecauseheknewIwasr i
ght
shewaspr obablyhavi
ngsexwithhi
m whil
eshe
l
eftmei nahousewi t
hagangster!Whoknows
whathecoul d'
vedonetome.Butnooomybest
fr
iendonlycaresaboutherqui
cknut,
thenmy
safety.

Kayl
a:we'
reatt
hepar
kingl
otnow.Chi
l
l,Il
ove
youvha.

IdroppedthecallbecauseIwasangr y.Iknow
you'l
lsayI
'm ov
erreactingbutcomeont hi
sis
CapeTownwher egirl
sgetst olenandt hey
nevercomeback.Shedeci dest oleav
emewi t
h
someoneIdon'ttrust!Xav i
erlookedatme, I
didn'
tevenwanttol ookhisway .Lucki
lyforme,
Kay l
acamebacki n10mi nutes.
Kay
la:
lastt
imeI
'
m doi
ngy
oudi
rt
y.Iswear
.
Me:
okay
.
Kay
la:
wannahel
pmedi
shup?
Me:
Iwantt
ogohome.That
'
swhatIwant
.

Imumbl edgetti
ngup, t
hankgodnobodyhear d
me.IhelpedKay l
adishup, t
heyboughtchi ps
withburger
sandal cohol.Iwasn'tint
erestedin
anythi
ng.Icheckedherr efr
iger
atorandIsaw
andoldapple.Ishookmyheadt hrowingitin
thebin.

Scr
appy
:isn'
tshehungr
y?
Kay
la:
nah.She'
sonast
ri
ctdi
et.
Scr
appy
:*l
aughs*why
?Shel
ooksf
inet
ome.
Kay
la:
don'
tknow.She'
stooi
nsecur
eIguess.
Iheardthem eventhoughImadeitseem l
i
keI
didn'
t,Iproceededdri
nki
ngwater
.

Xavi
er:i
fyouknewshe'
sonthediet,whydi
dn'
t
yougethersomet
hingshemightl
ike?
Kayl
a:becauseIknowhowpi
ckyshei
s.Idon'
t
wanttowastemoney.
Xav
ier
:Lel
ona,
let
'sgo.

Hegotup, grabbedhiscarkeys.Hedapped
Scrappy
,thenhewokehi sblackoutside,
red
i
nsidebomberj acket
.Thatwentinwi t
hhis
whitepl
ainteeandonel i
nekneer i
ppedblack
j
eanshet oppeditoffwit
hredandbl ack
sneaker
s.

Xav
ier
:I'
l
lbeback,
justgoi
ngt
ogether
somet
hingt
oeat
.
Scr
appy
:fedef
ede(
shar
pshar
p).Ni
na?(
agun?
)
Xav
ier
:al
way
s.Let
'sgo.
Me:
I'
m nothungr
y.
Xav
ier
:Iwasn'
taski
ngy
ou.

Isighedf ollowi nghim out.Ir eall

ydon'tli
ke
eatinginf rontofpeopl e.Iwal kedbehindhim
slowlynott ohur tmyback.I twasf inebutI
didn'twantt ot ri
ggeritsot hepai ncouldcome
back.Heopeneddoor sf orme, whichwasa
shockt ome.May behewasj ustscaredofmy
brothers; hedi dn'twanttot reatmebadl y
becausehet hinksImi ghtr unt othem with
tearyey es;onl yifheknewIdon' tl
ikepeople
pityi
ngme, evenmybr others.Wedr ovein
sil
ence, that '
sunt il
heplay edhi smusi cthr
ough
theauxcor d.Hest art
edr appi ngalonglowly,
it
wast r
apmusi c, Idon'
tknowal otoftrapmusic.
Xavier:"gotafamil
ytofeed,gotafamilytofeed.
they'
redependi ngonme,they'
redependingon
me.I fyoudon'tbeli
evei
nme.I '
mlikefuckya,
fucky a!Thoughtyoubeli
evedinme,Ithought
youhadt hem r
acksbutyougotevict
ed!"...

Hestoppedonceher eal
i
zedhewasget ti
ngtoo
l
oudandIwasst ari
ngathim.InmyheadIwas
thi
nki
ngwhatwoul dhappeni ft
here'
sat
shootouther
e?AtChecker s.Wherevert
here'
sa
gangstert
here'
strouble,
andI'minthecarwith
one.

Xav
ier
:youscar
edofme?

Oncehereal i
zedIwasn'
tgonnaanswerthat
becauseitfel
tli
kearhet
ori
calquest
ion!Of
courseI
'm scaredofhi
m.Nodoubtaboutt hat
.
I
'm alsoscaredaboutwhatMull
erwil
lsaywhen
hefindsoutI '
minacarwithamale.Mull
er'
s
theov er
protect
iveone,
andKi
ngisthesensi
ti
ve
onet hatIcantal
kto.

Xavi
er:*
laughs*l
et'
sjustgo.Sowecanhur
ry
backyoubackhome, i
t'
sgetti
ngver
ydar
k.
Me:
Icangoi
nbymy
sel
f.Justwai
ther
e.
Xav
ier
:*angr
y*y
ou'
ref
ucki
ngcr
azy
Me:
*shocked*uhm.
..I
...

Idecidedtokeepqui
et.Whywashesoangr yat
mewant ingtogotoChecker
salone?Hegot
outandIf ol
l
owed.Itwasanokayweat her
,
thanktheheavensabove!Wewentinsi
dethe
shop.

Xav
ier
:whatdoy
ouwant
?
Iwentt ot hedir
ectionoft het
hingsIwant ed,he
heldmebackbymyel bow.Thenhehel dmy
handaswewal kedt hroughCheckers.Iwasso
scared, whatifmybr othershavemef ol
lowed
andseet his?Iquicklyremovedhi shand.He
glaredatme, t
henhehel dmyhandagai n.Thi
s
ti
mehet i
ghtenedthegr ipsoIcouldknownot
toremov eitagai
n.Ithur tabi
t,Iwinced.He
didn'tcarethough.Af terawhilethegr i
p
l
oosenedandIwasokay .

?
?-Rel
l
ik.

Webothturnedaround.Iwasamazedbyt he
beaut
yofthegir
lIsawi nfrontofme.Xav
ier
wasn'
tthough.Hewasst raightannoy
ed.

Xav
ier
:Nandi
.
Nandi
:who'
sthi
s?
Xav
ier
:I'
l
llety
ouknowwheni
tconcer
nsy
ou.
Nandi
:youl
eftal
loft
hisf
orapi
g?Whata
downgr
ade.

Ididn'
tevenrespondbecauseshewasget t
ing
tooloudforme.Ij ustremovedXavier
'shand
andcontinuedsearchingforwhatIwanted.I'
m
notintodramaatal l
,theonlydramaI'
mi nt
ois
theoneonTV.
_
___
___
___

-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-

MeandScr appyconti
nuedki
ssi
ngashishand
tr
avell
edtomyass.Imoaned,removi
nghis
hands.Hedoesn'
thavecondomsandIdon't
havecondomssot hatmeansnosex.
Me:
no.
Scr
appy
:I'
l
lpul
loutj
usti
nti
me,
Kay
.
Me:
no,
thanks.
Scr
appy
:babycomeon-
Me: wher
e'sy
ourhomeboywit
hmygirl
?They'
ve
beengone30minutesnow.AndXav
ierisnev
er
thi
sslow.
Scr
appy
:they
'l
lbeback.What
'
supwi
thshawt
y
any
way?
Me:shegotbul
li
edinhi
gh-
school
.Shehast
rust
i
ssues,
andinsecur
it
ypr
obl
ems.
Scrappy
:that
'si
t?You'
dswearbi
gshi
tpopped
off
.
Me:right!
?Ithinkshe'sover
react
ing.Yeahwe
werewr ongtobul l
yherli
kethatbuti
t'
salli
nthe
past.Sheneedst ogrowup.ButIlovehersoI'
l
l
supportherstupidit
y.Whatworri
esmei sthat
she'
stoonai
ve
Scr
appy
:*l
aughs*y
oubul
l
iedher
?
Me: yeah!Sheusedt obesoscar edofus
*laughs*that'
swhatmadeusdoi tmore,her
fearwasourmot i
vation.Irememberonet ime
wepai dourguyf ri
endst omesswi t
hher,justa
l
ittl
e.Shecamebackcr y
ingthenextdaysay i
ng
theytriedtorapeher.Thepr i
nci
palsuspended
them, buttheynevercamebackt oschool and
nobodyknewwher et heywere.Nobodystil
l
knowswher etheyare.
Scr
appy
:messwi
thherhow?*
laughs*
Me: li
ketouchherboobsandass.t akeoffher
pantiesallthatst
uff,Iheardshewasnakedi n
theboy stoilet
.Theytookof fheruni for
m and
thev i
deowasspr eadallaroundt heschool
*laughs*thenonet imet hegirl
st ri
edt orapeher ,
that'
sthebestmemor y.Iwishyouwer ether eto
seeherf ace* l
aughs*pr i
celess,butthecl eaner
stoppedt hem.Manshewasapussybackt hen!
ButnowIwoul
dn'
tl
ett
hatshi
thappent
omygi
rl
.
Scrappy
:damn.y
'al
lwer
esomebadasski
ds
*l
aughs*.
Me:
thosewer
etheday
s!*
laughs*

Iactuall
ydon'tfeelbadforwhatIdi d,wit
hout
thosehigh-schoolmemor iesshewon' tgrow
tough.Andshest i
ll
hasn't
.I '
m prayingforher
tomanupandt akelif
ebyi tshornsandenj oy
theride.ButIknowshe' sfragil
e,that'
swhywe
bull
iedherinhigh-schoolbecausewecan.The
easyt ar
getswer ealwaysthebest .Istil
ll
ove
mybestf ri
enddon' tgetmewr ong,Ijustwish
shewasmor et ough.
_
___
___
___
_

-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
afterhepaidweleft
.Iinsi
stedIpaidbuthe
almostthrewafitatCheckers.Ihavenoti
ced
thathehasangerissues.SoIlethim be.I
nthe
carhelookedangrythatIinsi
stedthatIpai
d.
Heshoul dbehappyIdidn'
twantt ospendhis
money ,whywasheangr y?

Xav
ier
:don'
tdothateveragai
n!Youmademe
l
ookli
keIcan'
taff
ordshit
.Ihatethat
.

Ijustnodded, Iwasv eryscaredofthisguy.I

didn'twantt osayany t
hingthatmightmakehi m
mor eangr y.Hedr oveandwentt oagasst ati
on,
tof i
llhi
scarup.Oncehegotout ,
Itookt he
moneyandputi tonhisbomberj acketthathe
tookof f.I
twashungont heheadoftheseathe
wassi t
ti
ngi n.Idon'tli
kepeoplebuy i
ngme
thingsespeci all
ymal es,they'
ll
wantsomet hing
i
nr eturn.Xav iercamebackandhedr oveback
toKay l
a'
sapar t
ment .Ijustwanttogohome. .
.
Xav
ier
:si
nceyourbr
other
sar
egoingt
oPr
etor
ia.
Whoareyougoi
ngtostaywi
th?
Me:
thei
rfr
iend.
Xav
ier
:okay
.Bobbyr
ight
?
Me:
yeah.

Il
ookedout sidethewi ndow,Ir eall
ydon'tli
ke
himt al
kingtome.I t
'suncomf ortable,may be
becauseI '
m scaredofhi m, he'ssov iol
entfor
noreason.AndIcan' tspeakupbecauseI '
m
scared.Wear ri
vedatt helot,helefthisjacket
i
nhi scar,andwewal kedint heapar tment
buil
ding.IsawOmar , afri
endofKay l
abutwe
neverreall
ytalk.Hest aysont heapar t
ment
buil
ding.Iusedt ohaveacr ushonhi m

Omar
:Lona*
smi
l
es*
Me:
O*gr
ins*
Omar
:wal
kwi
thmet
otheshops,
please?
Xav
ier
:she'
sbusy
.
Me:
I'
ll
wal
kwi
thhi
m.

IgaveXavi
ert
hebags,hepul
l
edmer
oughl
y
tr
igger
ingmybackpai
n.

Xav
ier
:Isai
dshe'
sbusy
!
Omar :*conf
used*okay
,tal
ktoy
oul
aterLona.
I
'l
ltexty
ou.

Ij
ustnoddedwi thminitear
sinmyey es,
as
soonasOmarwal kedaway,Iwasnowcr yi
ng
si
lentl
y.I
'm acrybabyIknow.Xavi
erwaspissed,
Ididn'
tcare.Ij
ustwantedtositdown.Iwiped
myt ear
s,helookedatmyr edeyes.
Xav
ier
:suchacr
ybaby
.What
'
swr
ongnow?
Me:may
bei
fyouwoul
dst
opmanhandl
i
ngme,
I
woul
dst
opcr
ying!

Iburstout,f
rustr
atedwit
hhi
mr oughl
ytouching
mel i
keIdon'tfeelpai
n.Hewassurpri
sedatmy
outburst
.Iwasnowembar r
assed,soIwalked
toKay l
a'
sapar t
mentnotwanti
ngtolookathim
everagain.Thatwassoembarrassi
nggosh
.
.
.
.
.
.
BOOKERSMEETLELONA
[
02/
17,
10:
21]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER~
I
NSERT4
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Assoonaswear r
ivedIwant edtogohome
i
mmedi at
ely
.It extedBobbyt opleasecome
andgetmeatKay la'sapartment,Bobbyislike
abrot
hertomesi nce,hehasbeenf ri
endswi t
h
mybrosforyear s.Her epl
iedwithasimpleokay .
Kayl
acouldclear l
yseemyey eswer ered,so
nowshewasbr eathingfir
e.

Kayl
a:wher
ethef
ucki
she!
?I'
m gonnacutof
f
hi
sdick.
Xav
ier
:she'
sbei
ngababy
.
Kayl
a:okayso?Doesthatmeanmakehercr
y?
Youknowwhat ?Gett
hefuckoutofmy
apar
tment.
Xav
ier
:nah.

Hesatdown, Kayl
aglar
edatScrappytofi
xhis
fri
end.Scrappyact
edasifhedidn'
thearorsee
anythi
ng.Inowwantedtoreal
l
yleavebecause
thi
swasawkwar d.

Kayl
a:bot
hofy'al
lcangetthefuckout
.Thi
sis
mybestfr
iend,
andy '
al
lthi
nkit
'sokaymaki
ng
hercr
yandshit
-
Me:
Kay
la,
it'
sokay
.

Kayl
awasbeingweirdandshewasangr y,
I
knowshecaresj
ustnotthismuch.Iwondered
i
fshewashighordrunk.NowIr eal
lyhav
et o
l
eavebef
oreshestart
sturningonme.Iknow
howsheget swit
hthemoodswi ngs.One
minuteshe'
lll
oveyou,thenextshe'
sshouti
ng
ourearsoff
.Sheglaredatme, pul
li
ngmet othe
otherr
oom.

Kay
la:
whatdi
dhedo?
Me:
hej
ustmanhandl
edme-
Kay
la:manhandleyou!
?fuckno!Lemmecal
l
Mul
lerreal
quick-
Me:
no!Kay
lacal
m down.I
t'
sokay
.Ipr
omi
se.
Kayla:
Inev erwantyoutothinkit
'sokayfor
guystomanhandl eyou,especial
l
yguy sl
ike
Rell
i
k.Wel eftthatweakpersonali
tyi
nhigh
school.Don'tl
etthem wal
kal l
overyou
Me:Iknow.Butcanweatl
eastl
ett
hissl
ide.
I
t'
sprobabl
ythel
astt
imeIseehi
m anyway.
Pl
ease.
Kayla:
okay,butIdon'
tli
ket
his.Guysshoul
dn'
t
thi
nkit'
sokaytohandleushowevertheywant
,
whenev
ert
heywant.I
t'
snotokay
!Wef
eel
pai
n,
andwehav
eemotionstoo.

Ijustnodded,
somet hingmusthav ehappened
forhertobethispassionateaboutitbutIdi
dn'
t
wantt oaskhernowbecausei t'
ll
tearherspir
it
downf orther
estoft henight
.We'lltal
k
tomor r
owwhenwe' realone

Me:I'
m goi
nghomewi
thBobby
.Il
ovey
ou,
be
saf
e.
Kayl
a:Bobby,thehunk?Damn.*sneakysmil
e*
you'
resoluckyandyoudon'tev
enseeshit.
Me:
byeKay
la.

Ichuckl
edleavi
ngther
oom.Itookmybag,al
so
theCheckersbag,
Imadesur
eIdidn'
tl
eav
emy
phoneasIheadedfort
hedoor.
Xavi
er:
IthoughtIt
oldy
ou,
I'
ll
bet
aki
ngy
ou
home.
Kay
la:wellshe'
sgoi
nghomewi t
hBobbynow.
Sositdown,you'
vebeenl
acki
ng*gr
ins*
Me:*chuckl
es*seey
out
omor
rowf
orour
br
unch.

Iwalkedoutwi t
houtsay i
nggoodby etothe
guys.Theydidn'tdeserveitany way .Iwait
edfor
Bobbyoutside,hewasal way slat e.IsawOmar
approachi
ngmewi t
hhisf ri
ends.Myhear t
star
tedbeatingat housandbeat s.Af tert
hey
passed,Omarst ayedbehi ndstandi ngnextto
me.goshi fBobbyseest his.Isighed

Omar
:Iseey
ou'
rer
oll
i
ngwi
tht
hebi
gdogsnow
Me:
*conf
used*huh?
Omar
:Rel
l
ik?
Me:
oh.
..noohno!He'
sjust
,he'
sKay
la'
sfr
iend.
Omar
:youdon'
thav
etodenyi
t.Justbecar
eful
.
Me:noI'
m notdenyinganyt
hing,
he'
sjust
Kay
la'
sfri
end.I
'm seri
ous
Omar:I'
mjustsay
ingbecar
eful
.He'
sRel
l
ikf
or
areason.
Me:
whatdoest
hatmean?
Omar
:you'
rest
il
lbehi
nd?
Me:
onwhat
?Whatar
eyousay
ingOmar
?
Omar
:Rel
l
ikspel
l
edbackwar
dsi
s..
.?
?
?:Ki
l
ler
.

Webot htur
nedar ound,
andXav
ierst
ood
behindusshockingme.Ihel
dmychest
becauseIdidn'
texpecthimt
her
e,Iwould'
vef
elt
someonewat chi
ngmebutmygut sfai
ledme
thi
st i
me.
Xavi
er:
thanksforgivi
ngheranintr
oducti
onon
me.Beenmeani ngtodoitmyself
,justcaught
upcounti
ngstacks.*smi
rks*

Soconceit
ed.Omarshookhishead,
hegaveme
ahugandl ef
t.Wher
eisBobby!?Iwasaboutt
o
texthi
m whenIsawhiscal
lpul
lup,t
hankGod!

Xav
ier
:Ineedt
otal
ktoy
ou.
Me:
Ihav
etogo.

BeforeIcouldgo,heroughlypull
edmyarm,
Bobbygotoutt hecar,Icoul
dclearl
yseehewas
str
apped;hehadagun;Nott oday,Fat
her.I
don'twanttodietoday!

Xav
ier
:I'
m st
il
ltal
ki
ng,
don'
ttur
nyourbackon
mewhi
l
eI'
mtal
ki
ng.
Bobby
:Lel
ona.I
nthecar
.*angr
y*

Inoddedandhur r
iedi
nt hecar,
Iwasworri
ed,
thatthey
'dfi
ght,butt
heyt al
kedaft
erawhil
eI
sawBobbyl aughi
ng,theydappedandBobby
retur
nedtothecar.Thanky ou,Lor
d.Nobl
ood
wasshed, t
oday.

Bobby
:andt
hen?What
'supwi
tht
hat
?
Me:hewantedt
oapologi
sef
ormyback.Wher
e
wer
ey oui
nthemorni
ng?
Bobby:gi
rl
fr
ienddr
ama.HenceIdi
dn'
tgot
o
Pret
ori
a.Iwasn'ti
nont
heplan

Inodded,
heconti
nuedtel
li
ngmeaboutt he
gir
lf
ri
enddramahehadwhi l
eIwassti
ll
wor r
ied
aboutKayl
a.Shegotsoangrywhenshesaw
myr edey es,that'
sunlikeher.She'
dusual l
ytel
l
met ost opbeingacr y
baby .I
'dhavetoSkype
hertonight.Wear ri
vedatt hehouse,Il
impeda
bi
ttomyr oom, Imixedupmyf ood,andstart
ed
eati
ng.Ont hemi stofwat chi
ngamov i
e,my
phoner ang.Itwasanunknownnumber .I
i
gnor edit,butitwouldn'tstopcall
i
ng.Ipicked
upmyphone.

Me:
hel
l
o?
?
?:Lel
ona

Il
ookedatt hephoneshocked.Ipraythi
sisnot
whoIthinkitis.Ir
emainedqui
et,wait
ingfort
he
cal
lert
oi nt
roducehimself
.

?
?:i
t'
sOmar
Me:
Iknow.Howdi
dyougetmynumber
?
Omar:
Kayl
atext
editt
ome.Lookt
omor
row,
canwemeetupforadat
e?
Me:r
eall
y?YeahOmar
,I'
d,uhm,
I'
dli
ket
hat
.
Whatti
me?
Omar:
6pm shar
p.I'
l
lpi
cky
ouup.Wear
somet
hingf
ormal.
Me:
okay
,seey
out
omor
row.
Omar
:cool
.

Hedr oppedthecall.Ismiledgi ggl

ingforthe
fi
rstt
imet hisyear,Iwasbl ushing.Omarwasa
hotguyt hateverygir
lwant ed.Hehadacar ,
his
ownapar tment,aft
er5mi nutesofexci t
ement .
Thequest i
onsst ar
tedfloatinginmyhead; all
thosegirl
swhywoul dhewantme?I sthisabet
betweenhi sfr
iends?Ishet ryingtoprank?
Doeshej ustwantt ogetbet weenmyl egs?Wi l
l
hestandmeupt omorrow?Whatdoesher eall
y
wantwi t
hme? ...It
extedKay l
ahowIf elt.She'l
l
haveananswershe'
sgoodwi
tht
heseguy
thi
ngs.

me:K.Ihaveaprobl
em,Omaraskedmeona
dat
e.Idon'
tknowifi
t'
sgenui
neornot
.Whati
f
hemadeabetonme?
Kayl
a♥ :
waitwhat
?!Heaskedy
ouona
dat
e,bi
tchhhhyou'
reonf
ire
Me:
you'
renothel
pingKay
la.

Iwai
tedf orhert
orespondbutshevideocall
ed
me.Irespondedquick,
sheremovedScr appy
fr
om herneckonceshesawmyf acepopupon
hescreen.

Kayl
a:bit
chIneedallt
hedetai
ls!Iknewhewas
uptosomet hi
ngwhenhewant edyournumber!
Thatsneakybast
ard!I
'
m gl
adhedi ditthough,
youreggswereabouttodi
efrom thedrought
t
hey
'r
ein.

Ihear
edScr
appylaugh,thenIsawKay l
a'
sglare,
i
tmustbetarget
edtowardshim.Ishookmy
headembar
rassedthatshe'
dsaythati
nf r
ontof
hi
m

Kay
la:
letmeknowi
fI'
mfucki
ngasi
s'
bhut
i
Scr
appy
:fuckdoest
hatmean?*
angr
y*
Kayl
a:y
ourgayassallupinwomen'
sbusi
ness.
Gosmokewi t
hXavierandst
opbei
nginourshi
t.
I
t'
sunatt
ract
ive*
laughs*
Scr
appy
:fucky
ou.
Kay
la:
rightaf
tery
ougetcondomsbabe.
Me:
Kay
la!
Kayl
a:onewouldsweary ounevert
ookl
ife
ori
ent
ati
onasasubj ect
.Youev engota
di
sti
ncti
onther
e,yetyourli
fei
saspider
'sweb.
Me:
that
'snotwhyy
oucal
l
ed.
..
Kay
la:
tel
lmewhathappened.I
'
m al
lear
s.

Ist
art
edtel
li
nghereveryt
hing.Fr
om t
hechat
wehadatthepar
kinglotwhileIwaswai
ti
ngfor
Bobbytot
hephonecall.

Kayl
a:Iwaswonderi
ngwhenhewasgonna
makeamov e.Thegamey'
al
lwer
eplayi
ngwas
ti
ri
ng.
Me:
huh?
Kayl
a:Lel
onat
hatguyhasal
wayshadacrush
onyou!Howam Ifr
iendswi
thabl
indper
son,
dearl
ord!
?
Me:
hedi
dn'
tshowanysi
gnst
hough.
Kay
la:
oh,
didy
ou?
Me:
that
'sdi
ff
erent
-
Kay
la:
act
ual
l
ythesame.Hewant
syoubuthe
doesn'tknowhowt ogetyou.Youwanthi m but
you'
rescaredoff al
li
ng.We' reallgonnafall
somet i
mei t'
spartofli
fe,youfallyougetup.
Don'twaitforsomeonet ogety ouup.Getup
yourself
!Nowst oppityi
ngy oursel
fandlook
thr
oughy ourwar dr
obef oracut efor
mal body
huggingdress!Yougot tabreakhisneck
tomorrow.* smi
rks*
_
___
___
___
___
__

-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-

Ismokedmyweedwhi l
eIpassedi
tonto
Scr
appy.Hehasbeenmyhomeboyf oryear
s
now.It
rusthim wi
thsomeofmysecr et
s.But
someIjusthavetodi
ewi t
hthem.
.
Me:
Omar
?Thener
dki
d?*
laughs*
Scr
appy
:*l
aughs*man,
thatgi
rli
stoof
inef
ora
ni
ggal
i
ket
hat
.

Ij
uststaredathi
m notr
epl
yingtohim.He
chuckl
edshakinghi
shead.Ilookedathi
m.He'
s
hi
ghalready?

Scr
appy :sojywil
gaanaansoosj yweetni
esy
i
sal datnie?(soyou'
regonnaactli
keshe'
snot
al
lthat?)
Me:ekhetniegesêsywasl
eli
k(Idi
dn'
tsay
she'
sugl
y.)
Scr
appy
:dan?(
then?
)
Me:
she'
sjustnotmyt
ypeofpussy
Scr
appy:
sincewhendi
dyougetat
ype,
my
ni
gga?
Me:
hoej
oubek!(
shutup)
Scr
appy
:*l
aughs*I
'
mjustwonder
ing
Me:
syi
s'nki
nd(
she'
saki
d.)She'
sal
soMul
l
er
andKing'
sli
tt
lesi
ster
.Idon'
tev
enl
ookather
l
iket
hat.
Scr
appy:
youactl
ikewe'
ret
hatold!She'
s18
we'
reonl
y25.I
fyoudon'
tcl
aimthat,I
'm hi
tt
ing
i
t.
Me:nobody'
shitt
ingany t
hing.Hav
ey ou
for
gott
enyour"chick"Kayl
a?Herbestfr
iend?
You'
dbethelastniggashe'dsmash.
Scrappy:Kayl
a'
sjustapussy .Sheknowsthat
too.Iknowshe'dhesi
tatesinceI'
mfucki
ngher
fri
end.Butdon'
tunderesti
mat emygame.
*smirks*
Me: *
laughs*under
est
imat
eyourgame?Al
l
yourhoesarewhackbruh.
Scrappy:l
ookatyout
alki
ng,t
hinki
ngshe'df
uck
you.Allt
heti
meshe'snextt
oy ou,she'
scry
ing
*l
aughs*Idoubtsheevenwantstoseeyou
again.
Me:
diev
erski
li
s,ekwi
lni
eom haart
efokni
e.
Jydoen.(
thedi
ff
erencei
s,Idon'
twantt
ofuck
her
.Youdo)
Scr
appy:
thedi
ffer
encei
s,Idon'
tl
ieabout
wanti
ngtosmashandgo.Jydoen(Youdo)
Me:
fuckof
f

ScrappylaughedatmeasIcont i
nuedsmoking.
OkayI'l
ladmi t.She'
sbeaut if
ul,
andIdon'tsee
whyshe' ssoi nsecure.Thenatthesamet i
meI
can'ti
gnor ethefactthatherbrothersar
elike
fr
iendst omesi ncewe' rei
nt hesamebiggang
j
ustdifferentblocks.Idecidedtogohome
si
nceIknewIwast hir
dwheel i
ng.

Kay
la:
wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Me:
home.
Kayl
a:oh.It
houghty
ouguy
swer
egonnast
ay
forabi
t.
Me:
Scr
appyi
sst
ayi
ng.I
'
mleav
ing.
Kay
la:
oh.By
e.*
smi
l
es*

Ishookmyhead, Scrappykeepst ell

i
ngmeI 'm
crazywhenIt ellhimt hi
sgirlgotacr ushonme.
Iseerightthroughherhoeshi tthough.Ilef
t,
whenIgoti nmycar ,Iheardmyphoner i
nging.I
tookitoutmybomberj acket,whenIt ookitout
moneyf el
lout.Iwasconf usedbecauseInev er
putmoneyl i
kethat ,
it'
salwaysinmywal let
.I
answer edthecall wit
houtlookingatt hecall
er
ID.

me:
yeah?
ghost
:waari
sjy
?(Wher
ear
eyou?
)
me:
out
.Whatdoy
ouneed?
Ghost:daari
s'npr
obl
eem.(Ther
eisaprobl
em)
Fl
yBoy zmoneyisR80000short
.Ineedyout
o
sor
titout.
Me:
fedef
ede(
shar
pshar
p)

Ihungup.Ghosti smyuncl ewhom t ookme

underhiswingwhenbot hofmypar entsdi
edin
acaraccident
.Mydadwasal awy erandmy
mom wasahousewi fe.Theydiedwhent hey
wentoutfordinner,copssayi twasanacci dent
butIsayitwasmur der.Itwascov eredupbutI
heardtheywerealsoshot .AndIhav etofi
nd
outwhoki l
l
edt hem, andwhenIdo.I twon'
tbe
pret
ty.Il
ookedatt hemoneyagai n,t henshe
poppedinmyhead.

Me:
Lel
ona.

Ismil
edchuckli
ngthatsheretur
nedthemoney
whenItoldhernott
o.Stubbornashell
.Iwent
tovi
sitt
heFlyBoyzbytheirtr
aphouse.Igoti
n
easi
l
y,thesekidsareal
way sweakonsecurit
y.
That
'swhyt
hei
rmoneyi
sal
way
sshor
t.

Me:
wher
e'sQ?

Theypoint
edtohisroom/off
ice.WhenI
opened,abit
chwasgivi
nghim ablowjob.I
chuckl
edshakingmyhead.Thenakedgirlgot
upandhurri
edouttheroom.

Me:
nowIseewhyt
hemoneyi
sal
way
sshor
t-
Q:
lookRel
l
ik-
Me:don'
tcutmeoffwhi
l
eI'
m st
il
ltal
ki
ng.
(
takesoutagun)nowwegondothist
heeasy
wayorthehar
dway ?

Hesuckedhi
steethandwenttohissafe,he
t
ookoutR60000.Ishookmyhead, thenIwent
t
otakeouthi
sprizedpossessi
onsinthesafe
whil
eaimi
ngthegunathi
m.Thiswi
llmakeR80
000andmoresincehewant
edtobi
tchabout
money.Hetr
iedtoai
m agunatme.

Me: *
chuckles*toetsdit(tr
yit)
.Andseewhat
wil
lhappent oyourprecioussisterand
daughters.Andthesecr etson?OhIcan'tbegi
n
tothi
nkwhatwi llhappent othesexybaby
mamas.Makesur ey oukillme,becauseifyou
don't
.I'l
lmakesur eyouwat chthem die.

Heaimedhi sgundown.SeewhyIdon' tdate?I

onlyfuckbit
ches.Fall
i
nginlovebecomesy our
weakness.Idon'twantthatbull
shithappeni ng
tome, I'
m onthevergeofcontrol
lingt he
Amer i
cansgang.IknowGhostwi llhandov er
theropestome, I'
m hi
srighthandman.I '
d
rat
herfuckthendate.Ismirkedtakingt he
moneyandt hepossessionsput t
ingt hem i
na
sportsbag.
Me:nextt
ime,don'
tcrossGhost.Ory
ou'l
lbe
wat
chingoveryourweaknessesfr
om above

Iwalkedoutandsti
ll
nothi
nghappenedtome.
See?Weaksecurit
yinthi
straphouse.

_
___
___
___
___
__

-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-

Iwaspani cki
ngbecauseIdi dn'tevenhav ea
formaldress!Whattypeofgi rl
am I ?Il
etpeople
walkalloverme, I
'
m nott hatprett
y,I'
mf atand
mostofal lIhavenofriends!Myl i
feishorri
ble.I
satdownont hefl
oortryingtocalm my self
down.Thememor iesjustcameback, andtears
start
edfalli
ngdown.Idon' twanttowear
somet hinghoei shbecauseI 'l
l getlooksf rom
peopl ethatt hinkI'
m di sgusting.It hought
aboutt het i
mewhenav i
deoofmenakedwent
aroundt heschool andev eryonet houghtImade
i
tv i
ral t
obecomeKi m Kar dashi anbutI '
m was
beingbul l
ied.Theyt oremycl othesof f,they
call
edmenames, Iwast ouchedsexual l
yby
mal esandpr ev i
ousl ybyf emal esbutnotone.
Notonesi ngl eteachercameandaskedme
whatwashappeni ng.Theyal ljustassumedI
wasawhor ewhogotashor tendofast ick.
Nobodyi nthatschool everaskedmewhatwas
happeni ngt heyal ljustdistancedt hemsel ves
fr
om me.Ist artedr emember ingbei ngcal l
edf at
,
ugly,aner d,awhor e.Ibr eathedheav il
y,li
ket he
wallswer ecl osingi nonme.Ij ustf eltdizzy.
Thel astthingIr ememberwasseei ngmyl i
ght
beingbl urr
y.

~~~
Igr
oanedwakingup,IsawKaylanexttome,
Bobbywasnearthedoor.Il
ookedaroundand
unf
ortunat
elyf
orme,Iwasatthehospital
.

Kay
la:
hey
.

Icoul
dseeshehadbeencryi
ng,
Ijustsmi
l
ed
weakl
yather
.Il
ovethatshecar
ed.

Me:
hey
.

Myv oicewasver
yraspy.Shegavemewat ert
o
dri
nk,Ihadamassiveheadache.Ihopenoneof
them call
edmybrot
hers.

Me:
Ihopey
ouguy
sdi
dn'
tcal
lKi
ng&Mul
l
er.
Kayl
a:don'
twor
ry.Ist
oppedBobbybef
orehe
coul
devendoit
.Youscaredus.
Me:
it'
sananxi
etyat
tack.I
tdoesn'
tki
l
l.
*
smil
es*
Kayl
a:don'
tsayt
hat.Ial
readyf
eelbad.I
'
m so
sorr
y.You'
remybestfri
endIdon'
twanttol
ose
you.
Me:
Idon'
twantt
olosey
ou!

Ismi
l
edatKay
la,
Bobbygav
eussomepr
ivacy
.

Me:
whof
oundme?
Kayla:me, Bobbywassl eeping*rol
lseyes*I
want edtosleepoversoIcanhel pyouwi thyour
date.AndIj ustsawyoul ayingt
here,Igotvery
worried.ButIremember edev er
ystepy ousaidI
shoulddoi fyougetanext remeanxietyattack.I
knowy ouhatehospit
als,butIhadtocal lt
he
paramedi cs.
Me:t
hankyou.Iwant
edt
otal
ktoy
ouabout
somet
hing.
Kay
la:
don'
ttel
lmey
ou'
recancel
l
ingt
hedat
e!?
Me:
no*chuckles*whenyougotangr
yatXav
ier
f
ormanhandl
ingme, whatwast
hatabout
?
Kayla:
whatdoyoumean?You'
remybestf
ri
end.
I
'm supposedt
obether
efory
ou.
Me:
Iknow,
buti
t'
sdeepert
hant
hat
.
Kay
la:*si
ghs*canIt
alkabouti
twhenIf
eel
li
ke
I
'mready?
Me:
I'
m al
way
sher
efory
ou.
Kay
la:
thanky
ou.

Ismil
edather,shesmiledback.Westart
ed
tal
ki
ngagain.Butherphonerang.Iwonder
wheremyphonei s.Shedeci
dedtoputinon
l
oudspeaker.
Kay
la:
hel
l
o?
Scrappy
:wherear
eyou?I
'
m aty
ourpl
ace,
and
you'r
enother
e.
Kayl
a:It
oldyouIwasl
eav
ingt
ogot
oLona
*r
oll
seyes*
Scr
appy
:wher
ear
eyou?Ineedt
ogi
vey
out
his.
Kay
la:
*gr
ins*we'
reatt
hehospi
tal
,baby
.
Scr
appy
:hospi
tal
?

Kayl
aputitoffloudspeakerandwentoutandI
wasnowal l
alonei ntheroom,IwatchedtheTV
buti
twasbor i
ng.Adoct orcamein.Ididn'
t
knowthi
sdoct or.I'
m usedtomydoct or.Iwas
nowfeel
inguncomf or
tabl
e,Ipl
ayedwithmy
fi
nger
sasIt r
iedtocal m mysel
fdown.Idon't
wantamaledoct or.

Doct
or:
hel
l
o.I
'
m Doct
orDav
idson.Doct
orVane
i
scur
rentl
yonsickleavesosheaskedmet o
l
ookoverherpat
ients.Youar
e..
..LonaDani
el?

Inodded.Iwasfeel
i
ngsouncomf
ort
abl
e.Idon'
t
wantthi
satall
.

Doct or:andIseeyouhaveanxi
etyat
tacks.You
hav esuf f
eredfr
om depr
essi
on,youwere
suicidalinthepast
.Mhm haveyoueverseena
therapist?

Ishookmyheadmeani
ngno.Idon'
tneeda
shri
nk.I
'
m notcr
azy

Doct
or:
I'
ll
hav
etoassi
gny
out
oone.

Dr.Vanealreadytr
iedget
ti
ngmet ogot oa
t
herapistbutIdon'
twantto.I
t'
sjustanother
per
sonwho'll
sayI'
m awhorewithoutknowi
ng
mystor
y.Inoddedtowhatthedoctorwas
say
ingbutIknewI'
l
lneverdothat.
~~~
Luckil
yforme, Igotdischargedf
rom the
hospitalt
hatsamedayoft hedate.SoIhadto
doshoppi ng.ItooktheR5000Ki nggaveme
andst ar
tedbrowsingthroughthemal lwi
th
Kayla.Igotatextfrom Cardo.

Cardo : heyar
eyoubusyt
oday
?Ineedhel
p
st
udying.
Me:notr
eal
l
y.Icanhel
pyou.Whatt
imeshoul
d
Iar
ri
ve?
Car
do :
howabout14:
30?
Me:
okay
,I'
l
lbet
her
e.
Car
do:
thanks
IlookedatKaylawhowasl ooki
ngatsomethi
ng
formet owear.Ij
ustdraggedherov
ertothe
plus-
sizedgi
rl
sclothi
ng.

Me:
I'
mfatr
emember
?
Kay
la:
stoppl
ayi
ng,y
ou'
ret
hick.Andy
ou'
re
l
osi
ngalotofwei
ght
.

Igri
nned.Someonewasseeingmy
i
mpr ovement
.Thankyou,Jesus!Il
ookedatt
he
ti
mei twas14:
15.

Me:canIt
rusty
outolookf
oranout
fi
tforme?
Car
doneedshelpst
udyi
ng.
Kay
la:
okay*
chuckl
es*
Me:
don'
tdot
hat
.
Kayl
a:j
ustgo!I
'm gonnachoosesomet
hingt
hat
wil
lmakeyoulookamazing!
Me:
I'
mtr
ust
ingy
ouKay
la.
Kay
la:
hamba!(
Go!
)

~~

Ifi
nallyarri
vedatt heli
brar
yin30mi nutessoI
wasl ateIfeltsobad.IsawCar dothere,t
ryi
ng
tostudy i
ng.I'm sayi
ngtryi
ngbecausehel ooked
sofrustratedwi thi
t.

Me:I'
m sosorryI'mlat
e.Iwasatthemal
l,i
t'
s
qui
teadistance.AndIdon'thav
eacar,
Ireal
ly
am sor
ry.Idon'tknow-

Icutmy sel
foffwhenIreali
sedIwasbl
abbi
ng.
Hej ustl
ookedatmeandsmi l
ed.NowIwas
reall
yembarrassed.SoIsatdownandkept
quiet,hechuckled.
Car
do:fi
rstt
imeheari
ngyout
alkt
hatmuch.
Wit
houtmentioni
ngbooks
Me:
andpl
easel
et'
sjustf
orgeti
t.
Car
do:
okay*
laughs*

Ihel
pedhi
m studyandIusedmygang
exampl
estheory,
stil
li
twor ked.At16:
45I
deci
dedwewer efi
nall
ydone.Iwast hinki
ng
aboutt
hedate.Cardothankedmeandof f
ered
mear i
dehome.Ididn'twanttobutIthought
aboutt
heti
mesoIagr eed.

Car
do:
thanky
ouagai
nforhel
pingme.
Me:okay,you'r
eactuall
ydoi
ngbett
er.Al
lyou
needtodoisstudyatyourhouseandyou'
ll
under
standthem bett
ernow.
Car
do:
*smi
l
es*t
hanks.
Inoddedandgotoutofthecar
,whenIfi
nall
y
arr
ivedatt
hegate,hewavedanddrov
eoff.Iran
i
nsidethehouse.

Me:
Bobby
!
Bobby
:lounge.
Me:wel
lI'
m get
ti
ngr
eadyf
ormydi
nnerwi
th
Kay
la-

IwasshockedtoseeKay l
aintheloungewith
Bobby.Iwonderwhatt
heywer edoing.She
l
ookedatmeandchuckl ed.Iwasnottell
ing
BobbyI'
m goingonadate.Mybrotherswould
comebackhomewi thi
nanhour ,v
er yf
ast.I
'm
notevenjoki
ng

Kay
la:
best
iedat
e.Let
'sgogetr
eady
.
~~~~

IlookedatKayl
aupset.ShewastedR1500on
thesehoeishout
fi
t.I
'm notwear
ingi
t.I
'
m not
!

Me:
whatthef
uckKayl
a!?He'
sgonnal
ookat
meli
keI
'
m awhore.*
frowns*

Kayl
adidthebr
eat
hingexer
ciseswi
thme,
the
anxi
etydi
eddown.

Kayl
a: I
'm gonnagetBobbyt ogot otownwi t
h
me.Omarwi ll
comegety ou.Heknowsy our
address.Wheny ouhav el
eft,I
'
lll
ietoBobbyand
sayyout ext
edmeandsai dwe'll
meetatt he
rest
aurantandy ou'
ll
sleepoveratmyapar tment
.
Thenwhent hedatei
sov er,
you'l
lcomet omy
apar
tment
.
Me:okay
.ButKay
laIdon'
tfeel
comf
ort
abl
e
wear
ingthi
s.
Kay
la:
youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.St
opwor
ryi
ng!

Sher andownst air

s.Af teraf ewmi nut
esIhear d
thedoorcl oseandt henacardr i
vingof f
.It ook
myanxi et ypill
ssincei twasget t
inghar dto
cont rolit.Afteritf
el tfi
ne.Ilookedatmyout fi
t
agai n,Idi dnotlikei tonebi t
.Ihatedt hebl onde
wigmor et hantheout f
it.Thisisnotme!Ihear d
atcarst opandaf teratwhi l
e,Ihear dthebel l
i
ndi catingsomeonewant edtobel etint he
house.Ir usheddownst airsinthesehar dheel s,
Ilett hecari n.Iwal kedupanddownasI 'l
l
rehear sedhowI '
m gonnagr eethim.Ihear dand
knockont hedoor, andIwassur prisedbywho
i
twas.
Me:
Xav
ier
?*conf
used*
[
02/
17,
10:
23]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER~
I
NSERT5
.
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwasr eal
lyconfusedast owhyhewasher e.I
feltmor euncomf ortablewhenhel ookedatme
out f
it,
itwasabl ackcr opt opwithahighwaist
blackski r
t.Hekeptl ookingatmybr easts,
when
Icov eredthem upinf eltthatonewasabi t
revealedunder neathbutnott hatmuch.The
nippleswer etotal
lycov eredthough.
Me:
Xav
ier
!
xav
ier
:yeah?
Me:whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?I
..
.Ihav
eadat
ein
afewminut
es.
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*Iknow.
Me:
youknow?*
conf
used*
Xavier
:lookIcameher
etogi
vey
ourmoney
back.
Me:
money
?
Xavi
er:Ifounditi
nthebomberjacket
.Idon't
needitandItoldyou,
Idon'
tli
keyoumaki ngme
l
ookli
keIdon' thavemoney
.
Me:andIdon'
tli
key
oubuy
ingmet
hingsIcan
buyformysel
f
Xav
ier
:*mumbl
es*st
ubbor
n.
Me:
what
?
Xav
ier
:justt
aket
hemoney
.
Me:
no.

Iwasfeel
ingboldall
ofasudden,
Xavier
'sf
ace
changedIcoul
dseehewasv eryf
rust
rat
edand
hi
sangerwasr i
singabi
t.Myphonerang,andI
att
endedtoit
.ItwasOmar

Omar:hey
,I'
m sor
ryI'
m abi
tcaughtup.Mycar
br
okedown,butI'
mr i
ghtar
oundthecorner
.I'
l
l
bether
einafewmi nut
es.
Me:
oh.Doy
ouneedhel
p?
Omar
:nono.Igoti
t.
Me:
I'
l
lbet
her
eri
ghtnow.

Igr
abbedt
hehousekey
s,andl
ookedatXav
ier
.

Me:
Ihav
etogo.
Xavier:
he'
snotpi
cki
ngyouup?HereIwas
thi
nkinghe'
sagentl
eman*smi
rks*

Het ookoutthemoneyandpl acedi tonthe

tablenearthedoornextt ot
het elephone.Then
hewal kedout.Ilockedt hehouseandwal kedto
thecorner.Ont heway ,
IsawBobby '
scar,I
quickl
yhidawayf rom him.Hewashel pi
ng
Omarwi t
hhiscar .NowIwasst ressed.Itext
ed
Kay l
a.

Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?Whathappenedt
othecar
?
Kayl
a♥ :wai
tyou'
reher
e?Hide.I
tlooks
l
ikesomet
hingmessedupinhi
scar.
Me:what
!?Pl
easedon'
ttel
lmeKi
ngandMul
l
er
know.
Kayl
a♥ :don'
tworr
y,theydon'
t.And
they
'r
ealmostdonewi
ththecaranyone.I
t'
sa
minorpr
obl
em.Don'tst
ressman.It'
sa
pr
obl
em t
hatoccur
sev
erydayt
oany
one

Ibl
ueti
ckedher .It
'saminorproblem butit
happenst hedayofourdate?Afterawhi l
e,the
heel
swer eki l
l
ingme, OmarandBobbywer e
donewi t
ht hecar.ThenBobbydroveof fwit
h
Kayl
awi thoutnotici
ngme.IrushedtoOmar ,he
wasabsol utel
yshockedwhenhesawme.Li ke
nowor dsshockednowIwasembar r
assedt hat
Il
ookedl i
keahoe.

Omar
:youl
ook.
..y
oul
ook..
.wow
Me:
*smi
l
es*r
eal
l
y?
Omar :yes.Moret
hanwow.Nowor dscan
describehowamazingyoulook,youlooked
greatbeforet
hemakeovernotthatyoulooked
uglythenI'mj
ustsayi
ngyou'r
e..
.*si
ghs*

I
tgotqui
etunt
ilIcr
ackedasmal
ll
augh.He
l
ookedsocut
ewhenhewasner vous.He
smil
edatme,andshookhi
shead.

Omar
:sor
ryI
'
m abi
tner
vous.Shal
lwego?
Me:
yeah.

Heopenedt hedoorforme, Igotint hecar.

Oncehegoti nt
oo,hepl ayedmusi ct hr
ought he
auxcord.Thecarboomedwi thDrake'smusic,
unti
lwear ri
vedattheplace.Iwasshockedt o
seeitwast heAubergineRest aurant.Iheard
ever
ythingwasf ancyher e.Ihopet hedat egoes
well
,goshwhati fIhaveapani cattack?Itook
thepil
l
sathomebutI 'm stil
l nervousabout
whatpeopl ewil
lsayaboutt hisoutfit
.He
openedt hedoorformeandwewal kedin.It
wasempt yanddecoratedwi thbeaut i
full
ight
s
androses.
Omar:Kayl
atoldmeaboutyourpani
cat
tacks
soIdi
dn'twantyout
ogetuncomfort
abl
e.
Me:yourent
edt
hewhol
epl
acej
ustf
orme?
*
shocked*
Omar
:you'
respeci
alt
ome.

Hesmil
edhismil
li
ondol l
arsmile.Idi
dn'teven
knowhowtorepl
ytot hatfl
ir
tyl
ine.ShouldIlet
i
tpassorj
ustsaythanky ou?GeezI'm alame.

Me:
thanky
ou?*
smi
l
esconf
usi
ngl
y*

Helaughedatmyfacial
expr
essi
onnowIwas
waymor eembar
rassed.Heki
ssedmyhand
whenhesawIwasnotateasewi t
hhim
l
aughingatme.

Omar
:sor
ry,
youshoul
dhav
eseenhow
ador
abl
eyoul
ooked.

Iblushedandchuckl
ed.Wesatdown,and
starti
ngget
ti
ngtoknoweachotherbef
ore
eating.

_
___
___
___
_

-
-MULLER'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iparkedinsi
detheyardandKi ngf oll
owedaf ter
me.Wewenti nsi
deourhotel r
oom goi ngov er
theplanagainbecauseIcan'taffordany
mistakes.Thi
sishowwepr ov ideforourf amily
,
wet r
iedtheri
ghtpathandtheyj usthav eus
peanutssowewentont heroadev er
yonet ook.
..
beinginthegamehasi t
sprosandcons.
Put
ti
ngmysist
er'
slif
eisoneoft
hecons,t
he
qui
ckmoneyandrespecti
soneoft
heprosthat
Il
ovesomuch.

Me:kungabhat
yazwangomsomaj
i
ta.(
No
mi
stakestomorr
owgents)
X:
fedef
ede(
shar
pshar
p)
~~
Thepl anwor kedaccordinglybutTr i
ggeralmost
gotusbust ed.Xhandl editqui ckl
ythough
beforeany t
hingcouldblowup.Themoneywas
stackedinthebackofourcar s.Wewai tedfor
theotherniggasGhostsentt ot akethemoney .
Wewer einani sol
atedplacenooneev ergoes
toandl ucki
lywel ostthepolicef araway.We
sawcar sappr oachi
ng,qui cklywet ookoutthe
bagsandpl acedt hem inthesamepl aceont he
ground.Iwasabi tshockedt oseeGhost
himselfhere.
Ghost
:wel
ldoneboy
s.
Ki
ng:
didn'
tthi
nky
ou'
dbeher
e.
Ghost:
hadtoseef
ormy
sel
fhowsmoot
h
t
hingswil
lgo
Gunz:wehaveabout3hour
sbef
oret
heI
nter
net
knowsaboutthehei
st
Ghost
:noi
dent
it
iesr
ight
?

WealllookedatTrigger,hewastheonewho
tookoffhi
smaskbef orewewer eoutthescene.
He'dbeal uckyni
ggai fi
tisn'
tcaughton
camera.

Me:
noi
dent
it
ies

Inev
erratoneofmyni
ggasout
.Ev enifTr
igger
i
scaughtI'
ll
sti
l
lst
andbyhi
m.I'
llnevertur
nmy
backonmygent
s.
_
___
___
__
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Igotupanddi dmymor ningrout
ine,Kayl
awas
sti
l
lasleep.Iworemysweat sKaylacamewi t
h
fr
om home, thenIwenttothegym andaf t
er3
hoursIwentbacktoKay l
a'sapar
tment .

Kay
la:
Iwaswonder
ingwher
eyouwent
.
Me:
thegy
m
Kayl
a:Ihav
eguest
scomi
ngov
eri
nabout15
minut
es.
Me:
andt
hat
'smyquet
ogo.Ci
ao
Kay
la:
*laughs*t
hey
'r
egi
rl
s
Me:
Idon'
tl
ikeanyofy
ourf
ri
ends
Kay
la:
you'
react
ingl
i
ket
heyl
i
key
ou.*
laughs*
Me:
mxm *
rol
l
sey
es*

Justontimet hegir
lsenter
edt her
oom.I twas
ZikhonaandKhany i
,theyarethebiggesthoesI
know.Andt heyalwaysinfl
uenceKay l
atodo
wrongthings,itf
rustr
atesthehell
outofme.

Khany
i:Iwaswonderi
ngwhyKay
la'
sfr
idge
al
wayslookedempty
.
Zi
khona:kucwel
i'
hagukal
okuapha*
laughs*
(t
her
e'salotofpi
gshere)

Theyall
laughed,
Iknowitwasaj
okebutIwas
off
endedalot.Idon'
tev
eneatwhenI
'm her
e.

Kay
la:
khani
yekeuLel
ona.(
Leav
eLel
onaal
one)
Zi
khona:
it'
sjustaj
okegi
rl
!Damn,
she'
sso
sensi
ti
ve.*
laughs*
Khanyi
:anywayenoughabouther
.Chomie
si
yabangenaeRandstodayri
ght
?(Fr
iend,
we'
re
goi
ngtoRandstodayright
?)
Kayl
a:si
pha!(
We'
ret
her
e!)Lonay
oushoul
d
comewithus.
Me:
not
hanky
ou,
Ihav
etost
udyt
oday
.
Kayl
a:uyabhal
angomso?(
Arey
ouwr
it
ing
tomorr
ow? )
Me:
no.Idon'
tneedat
estt
ost
udy
.
Zikhona:t
hixolomntanaakanampi
l
o(Lor
d,
thischi
lddoesn'thav
ealif
e)

Theyallchuckled.Idecidednottorespondt o
thatr
emar k,Iknowi t
'l
lendupwi t
hmyf eeli
ngs
hurti
ntheendandIdon' twantt
ocr yi
nf rontof
them i
t'
l
l bethejokeoft hewholeyear.
Me:
byeguy
s.

Theyallsai
dby eandIwal kedout,Iwoul
d'
ve
appreci
atedifKaylahadmybackwhenher
fri
endswerebeingbi tches.Iwalkedhomeand
Bobbywasst il
lthere.Hewaswat chi
ngTVand
texti
ngatthesamet i
me.

Bobby
:you'
reback.
Me:
yeah.
Bobby
:howwast
hedat
e?
Me:
huh?*
shocked*
Bobby
:*chuckl
es*Iwasn'
tbor
ny est
erday
.
Omarisagoodboythough.He'sgoodforyou.
Me:
yousawme.*
sighs*
Bobby:youthi
nk?*sar
casti
c*Ididn'twantto
rui
nyournightt
houghIdidn'
tl
ikey ouroutf
it
onebit
.Whydi dyouchangethehai r?
Me:
itwasawi
g.Kay
lachoset
heout
fi
t
Bobby
:isshepressuri
ngy
oui
ntot
his?Because
i
fsheisinswearI'
ll
-
Me:no!Iwantedtogo.Isort
ahadacrushon
hi
m.Pleasedon'tt
ell
MullerandKi
ng.I
'l
lbei
na
l
otoftr
ouble.
Bobby:
*chuckl
es*okay
.Nowt
ell
yourbi
gbr
o
howthedatewent.

Itoldhi
m ev er
ything,howmeandOmar
connectedandhewasagent l
emanal lni
ght
.
Whowoul dr entthewhol erest
aurantforone
girl
?Heisr eal
lyrich!Tomei twaseasiertotal
k
toBobbyt henitistot al
ktomybr others
becausethey '
l
lactal lcr
azywhereasBobbyis
verycal
m.

Bobby:
I'
m gl
adi
twentokay
.Justdon'
trush
i
nto-
Me:
that
'st
hel
astt
hingonmymi
nd.
Bobby
:anyt
hing.Wai
taf
ewmont
hsbef
ore
ki
ssi
nghim
Me:*l
aughs*soy
ou'
dwai
tmont
hsbef
ore
ki
ssi
ngagirl
.
Bobby
:Iam me,
heshoul
dn'
tbeme.
Me:
I'
ll
lethi
m know*
laughs*

Iwentupt hest
airsandst udiedsi
nceit'
sbeen
whilesinceIdidthat.After2hoursIwashungr y
ashel l
,Iwentdownst air
sandmadef oodfor
my self
.AsIwaseat ing,myphoner ang,
Ilooked
atitandi twasOmar .Ibreathedthenanswer ed
i
twhent houghIhatet al
kingonaphonecal l.I
prefertexts.

Omar
:hel
l
obeaut
if
ul.
Me:
hey*
smi
l
es*
Omar
:isi
ttoosoont
osayImi
ssy
ou?
Me:yesespeci
all
ywhenyoudr
oppedmeof
fat
Kay
la'
sapartmentat1am
Omar
:Idi
dn'
twantt
hedat
etoend
Me:
met
oo.Ihadf
un
Omar
:met
oo,
canIcal
lyou?
Me:
*conf
used*whatar
ewedoi
ngr
ightnow?
Omar:*l
aughs*noman,Imeanv
ideo-cally
ou.
Yoursmil
eistoopr
eci
ousandIwouldliketo
st
artof
fmydaywonderful
ly
.
Me:
somysmi
l
ewi
l
lmakey
oudaywonder
ful
?
Omar
:yes.
Me:*
laughs*you'
rev
erygoodatwor
ds.You'
re
maki
ngmebl ush
Omar
:it
'smyj
obt
omakey
oubl
ush
me:
youmakei
tseem l
i
key
ou'
ref
orcedt
odoi
t.
Hedr oppedt
hecall
andIwashur tabit.Thena
fewsecondslat
er,
av i
deo-call
request
appearedonmyscreen.Igiggl
edandanswer ed.
Hisfaceappear
edandhewasshi rt
less.Wow.

Omar:Il
ovedoi
ngit
.Thebestj
obinthewor
ld.
Andnothi
ngbeat
sthepaymentIget
.
Me:
andwhati
sthat
?
Omar
:spendi
ngt
imewi
thy
ou
Me:isthi
syourwayofaski
ngmeoutf
or
seconddat
e?
Omar
:yes.
Me:
I'
m al
way
sfr
ee.
Omar
:tomorrowl
et'
sgot
otheWat
erwor
ldor
t
hePl
ayland
Me:
youwantmet
osl
eepi
nthehospi
tal
?
Omar
:par
don?
Me:
pani
cat
tacks.
Omar
:youwon'
t.I
'
llbet
her
e.Igoty
ou
Me:
*smi
l
es*okay
.Iwoul
dlov
easeconddat
e.
Omar
:ther
e'st
hatsmi
l
e,Ihav
ebeenwai
ti
ngf
or.
Me:
*bl
ushes*st
op!
Omar
:Ican'
thel
pit
.It
'samazi
ng.
Me:
byeOmar
.
Omar
:butwe'
rest
il
ltal
ki
ng*
pout
s*
Me:
wai
tIhav
etot
akeascr
eenshotoft
his.
Omar
:smi
l
efi
rst
.

Ismil
edandtookascreenshotofhi
m pout
ing,
hetookascr
eenshotofmesmi li
ng.

Me:
I'
m goi
ngbackt
ost
udy
ing.
Omar
:okay
.Seey
ousoon.
Me:
bye.
Webot hhungupandI 'm smi l
edl ookingatmy
phone.If eelsof reear oundOmarhebr ingsan
excitementf eelingi nmyst omach.But t
erfl
ies
can'tev endescr ibet hef eeling.Iwentbackt o
study i
ngandj ustl ikealway sIst udiedfor2
hour s.Af t
ert hest udy i
ngsessi onIbrowsed
throughmyI nstagr am wi ththehouseWi Fi
.I
post edt hescr eenshotIt ookofmeandOmar '
s
video-cal landpost editonmyI nstagram story.
ThenIr emember edKi ngandMul l
erwi l
lseeit
soi tquickl ydelet edi ttoandj ustsmiledati t
.

Bobby
:Lona?
Me:
yes?
Bobby
:lat
eronwe'
rel
eav
ing.
Me:
we?
Bobby
:can'
tl
eav
eyoual
onei
nthehouse.
Me:
siy
aphi
?(Wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
)
Bobby
:raceshow.
Me:butt
hosear
eil
l
egal
ifwe'
recaughtt
her
e
we'
l
l -
Bobby:
chil
lyouwoul
dn'
tev
enspendanhouri
n
j
ail*
chuckl
es*
Me:
I'
m st
ayi
ngbehi
nd.Thankst
hough.
Bobby
:Iwasn'
taski
ngy
ou.
Me:
eshee*
chuckl
es*
Bobby
:I'
m ser
ious.
Me:
Mul
l
erwi
l
lgocr
azyi
fhehear
sthi
s.
Bobby:Mul
l
erwi
l
lgocr
azyabouty
ourdat
etoo.
*smir
ks*
Me:
unf
air
.
Bobby:r
eall
yunfair
.Ineedsomefunwhi
l
e
babysi
tt
ingyou.Ihavebeenst
uckher
esince
for
ever
.
Ireal
l
yhavebeenabitunf
airsoI
'
llgobutI
'
ll
naghimyourtakemebackhomeinanhour.

Me:
whatdi
dpeopl
ewearatr
aces.
Bobby:justwearsomethi
ngcasual
.Notsweat
s
though,you'l
lfeel
ever
yhot.

Inoddedandhel ef
t.Il
ookedt hroughmy
wardrobe.Iwor eal i
ghtbl
uej eanswi t
hat ank
topandabut tonedupcardigan.Itiedmyhai r
i
ntoat ightupbunandwor emywhi t
esneaker s.
Ithr
ewmyphone, l
i
pgloss, mypill
s,wetwi pes,
andt i
ssuesi nmysmal lblackbagt henIwentt o
thelounge.Bobbywasst i
llnotreadysoIhadt o
waitforhim.Idr ankmypi l
ls.Myphonev ibrated
i
nmybag, Iansweredwithoutlookingatthe
call
erID.

Me:
hel
l
o?
?
?:f
inal
l
ysheanswer
smycal
l
s.

Il
ookedatmyphonetoseewhothi
sis,
itwas
Cardo.Iwant
edt
ohangupsobad,whyishe
cal
li
ngme?

Me:
hey
.
Car
do:
you'
ref
reet
oday
?
Me:
uhhh-
Bobby
:okayl
et'
sgo.
Car
do:
ohy
ou'
rebusy
?
Bobby
:who'
sthat
?
Me:notreal
l
y.I'
m goi
ngt
oar
ace.Bobbyi
s
dr
aggingmet her
e.
Car
do:f
unnyt
hingi
sIwasactual
l
ygoi
ngt
o
i
nvi
tey
outher
e.Seeyout
here.
Befor
eIcouldevenrespondhehungup.Idon't
knowifCardowantsmeorhej ustwantsmy
brai
nsorhe'sj
ustbeingniceandhef eel
spi
ty
forme.Ihatet
hat.

Me:Car
do.Hesayshe'l
lmeetmeattherace.I
s
heal
waysthi
sper
sist
entonhangi
ngout?
Bobby
:Car
doasi
nCash?
Me:
yes.
Bobby
:*chuckles*onecr azymotherf
ucker.
He'
sanextrovert.Hedoesn'tl
ikeitwhenpeopl
e
ar
etoomuchi nt heirshel
l.Maybehe'str
yingt
o
br
eakyououtofy ourshell
.
Me:
butIl
ovemyshel
l
.

Wegoti
nhi
scarandhestar
teddri
vi
ngoff
,the
r
adi
owasoffi
twasjustust
alki
ngi
nthecar.
Bobby
:Iknow
Me:
hedoesn'
tseem l
i
keagangst
ert
hough.
Bobby:ohr
eal
l
y?Whatar
egangst
ersl
i
ke?
*l
aughs*
Me:
toughandr
ude.
Bobby
:am Ir
ude?
Me:no.Butt
hat
'sbecausey
ou'r
emybrot
her
's
bestf
ri
end,y
ouhavetobenicetome.
Bobby:
Cashissti
lly
oung.Andhehasn' tdone
har
dcorest
uffyet
,he'sst
il
linthe'
studyi
ng,
sel
li
ngweedplusbeingalapdog'phase.
Me:
thent
her
e'l
lbet
heki
l
li
ngphase,
and-
Bobby:l
et'
snottal
kaboutgangst
ershit
.How'
s
var
sit
y?Ihaven'
taskedyouthi
sinalongti
me.
Me:
it'
scool
.
Bobby
:noonei
smessi
ngwi
thy
ou?
Me:
nope.Al
li
swel
l
.
Bobby
:andwe'
reher
e.

Therewasabi ggat ethatl

ookedshady,the
placelookedabandoned.Guardswer estandi
ng
thereandassoonast heysawBobby ,t
hey
openedt hegatesthenhedroveit.Thenwe
drovefurtheri
nfor
mat i
onsawal otofcars.

Me:inthemi
ddl
eoft
her
oad.Asi
tef
ull
of
not
hing.
Bobby
:Ghostboughti
t.Weusei
tforr
aces.
Me:
Ther
ear
equi
teal
otofpeopl
e.
Bobby
:andwe'
renotgoi
ngt
ogetapani
cat
tack.

IchuckledasIdr ankmypi l
l
sagain,thankgodI
boughtt hem andwat er
.Heparkedthecarand
wewal kedoutofi t.Ibr
owsedthroughthe
crowdandr ightthereIknewIwasgonnabe
st
ucktoBobby'
ssi
debecauseI
'
mver
yscar
ed
oft
hesepeopl
e.

Bobby
:Lona,
let
'sgoov
ert
her
e.
Me:
whydoIsmel
lweed?
Bobby:tr
ytoactl
ikey
ou'
reusedtothi
s?
*chuckl
es*andnotawor
dofthistoMull
er.
Me:
*laughs*don'
twor
ryIcankeepasecr
et.

Wewal kedovertohisf
ri
ends.Theyall
greet
ed
andIjustwaved.Theycont
inuedtal
ki
ng.My
phonev i
brat
edjustt
hen,Il
ookedatmyphone.
ItwasKay l
a.Imovedabitawayfrom t
hem t
o
answerthecall

Me:
skeem.
Kay
la:
uphi
?(Wher
ear
eyou?
)
Me:
outwi
thBobby
.
Kay
la:
oh.Iwasj
ustchecki
ngupony
ou.
Me:
real
l
y?*
laughs*
Kay
la:
yes.Nowby
e.

Shehangup.Iwasconf usedbutIdecidednot
todwel
lonthat.From afarIspott
edScr appy
wit
hanothergi
rl.Myey espoppedout .Bobby
cameandstoodnextt ome

Bobby
:what
?
Me:
Scr
appyi
swi
thanot
hergi
rl
.
Bobby:so?Howdoy ouknowthesepeopl
e?
Wellwhatdi
diexpectyouwer
et al
ki
ngtoRel
li
k
Me:
mxm.Hei
sdat
ingKay
la.
Bobby
:Rel
l
ik?
Me:
no.*
rol
l
sey
es*Scr
appy
.
Bobby
:*l
aughs*y
eahr
ight
.
Me:I'
m seri
oust
hey'
real
waystoget
herand
Rel
l
ikisalwayst
hir
dwheeli
ng.
Bobby
:they
'r
ejustf
ucki
ng.
Me:maybethat'
swhyshecal
l
edmeshe
want
edtotell
meabouthowhurtshei
she
cameherewit
hher.
Bobby:orshe'sangryshe'
snoti
nvi
tedbecause
thi
sismor eli
kealimitedar
ea.Wedon'twant
nooutsider
samar hadiabambanj
alo.(
that
's
howthepol i
cecatchon.)
Me:
soshecan'
tcomeal
one.
Bobby
:yeah*
laughs*
Me:
andi
fIwasal
one-
Bobby:you'
dpr
obablybeki
ll
edbecauseall
thesepeopl
ewil
lthi
nkyou'
reanundercov
er
offi
cer
.
Me:whati
fthepol
i
cewor
kswi
thagangst
er?
Thenwhat
.
Bobby
:thenwe'
real
lgoi
ngt
ojai
l*shr
ugs*
Me:
*laughs*uy
adi
ka(
you'
rei
rr
it
ati
ng)

Myphonevibr
atedanditwasOmar,hewas
vi
deo-
cal
l
ing.themusicnowwasplayingext
ra
l
oudanditwasMadnessf t
.Ti
pcee.

Me:
heyt
her
e.
Omar
:someonedeci
dedt
ohav
efunwi
thoutme.
Me:
sor
ry,
Bobbyf
orcedmeoutt
hehouse.
Omar
:wher
ear
eyouguy
s?

Ican'
ttel
lhimit
'sarace,butIdoubthe'
dsni
tch
butIcan'
ttakechances.

Me:atapar
tyofsomesor
t.Wher
ear
eyou?I
'
m
hear
ingmusi
c.
Omar
:di
nnerwi
thmydad.
Me:
andy
ou'
recal
l
ingme!
?Ohgod.
Omar:chi
l
l*laughs*hewentt
onet
wor
kwi
thhi
s
busi
nessassociat
es.
Me:
Iwasaboutt
ohangup.
Omar
:*l
aughs*y
oul
ovehur
ti
ngmyf
eel
i
ngs.
Me:
Idon'
tdoi
tal
lthet
ime*
laughs*
Omar:fi
rstyoulef
tmeforbooksnowbecause
you'
rescaredofmyfat
her*smir
ks*
Me:
wel
lthebookspar
t-
Omar:It
otal
l
yunder
stand.Il
oveacar
eer
dr
ivenwoman.
Me:
*bl
ushes*andy
ou'
redoi
ngi
tagai
n.
Omar:*
smi
les*Itol
dyou.It
'smyjob,i
fIdon'
t
makeyoul
augh,smil
e,andblushsomeoneel
se
wi
llt
akemyplace.
Me:
yourpl
ace?
Omar
:you'
l
lunder
standl
ateron.*
smi
l
es*

Ishookmyheadsmi
l
ing,
Iunder
stoodcl
ear
ly.

BOOKERSMEETOMAR
[
02/
17,
10:
27]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT6
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Imadesuretoal
way sstandcl
osetoBobby,
andthankf
ull
yhewasn'tannoyedhe
underst
ood.Agi
rlt
ri
edt ooff
ermealcohol
,
Bobbygl
aredatherandshel
efti
nst
ant
ly.

Bobby:wil
lyoubef
ineony
ourown?I
'
m goi
ng
torace.
Me:
you'
regoi
ngt
odowhat
!?Whati
fyoudi
e?
Bobby
:*chuckl
es*I
'vebeendoi
ngt
hisf
ora
l
ongti
me.Phola.(Chil
l
)
Me:ndi
zohl
alanabani
?(Whoam Igoi
ngt
osi
t
wi
th?)
Bobby
:nobodywi
l
ltr
yany
thi
ng.*
laughs*
Me:
ha'
asuhamba.(
No.Don'
tl
eav
e)
Bobby:ul
i
gwalawena.(You'
reacowar
d.)
*l
aughs*I'
l
lcal
lScr
appy
Me:
no!
Bobby
:axe,
ring'
uScr
appy
.(Yo!Cal
lScr
appy
)

Heor
der
esaguy
,theguywhom Idi
dn'
tknow
cal
ledScrappyandri
ghtonti
meCardocameto
us.Wellhe'
sbett
erthanScr
appy
.I'
m scar
edof
ScrappyandRell
ik

Me:
I'
ll
sitwi
thCar
dot
hen.
Bobby:we'r
eraci
ngagai
nsteachother
*chuckl
es*lomnt
anaugwajauScr
appy*laughs*
(t
hischi
ldisscar
edofScr
appy)
Car
do:
uzoba'
ster
r(she'
l
lbest
rong)*
laughs*

Scrappycameandtheyhadt
hishandshake
togethert
henhedi
ditwit
hCardo.

Scr
appy
:smoko?(
What
'
swr
ong?
)

Iwasutt
erl
yshockedhespokethelanguage
andnotafr
ikaans!Ial
way
sthoughthewasa
dar
kcolor
edguy .
Bobby:j
ongaman,khaw'
bekelomntana.
Ndiy
o'r
ace'
a(lookman,guar
dt hi
schil
d,I
'
m
goi
ngtorace.
)
Scr
appy
:fedef
ede(
shar
pshar
p)

Theylef
t ,
andIwasscar
edtoev enspeakt
o
Scrappy.Hetext
edsomethi
ngonhisphone
thensatonthecampchairBobbysat.

Scr
appy
:thi
rst
y?
Me:
I'
m notal
l
owedt
odr
inkal
cohol
.
Scr
appy
:It
'sj
ustanener
gydr
ink*
chuckl
es*
Me:
oht
hent
hat
'
sOK.

Hegavemeamonstercanthatwassealed.
OnceIt
ookmyfi
rstsi
p,Ihear
dcarsmaki ng
noi
ses,
theni
nafewsecondstheyracedpast.
Every
onewasallhy
ped,
Iwasfasci
nat
edal
ot
bytheraci
ngcar
sIwon'
tli
e.

Scr
appy
:nj
aye'
game.(
Kingoft
hegame)

Il
ookedatwhohewast alkingt
oandi twas
Xavier
.Whyi shef oll
owingmeev erywhereIgo?
Theydidthishandshaket hatwasthesameas
Cardo'
sandBobby 's.If
iguredmaybeit'
sa
gangthing

Xav
ier
:shar
p?
Me:
yes.You?
Xav
ier
:shar
p.Who'
sraci
ngnow?
Scr
appy
:BobbyandCar
do.
Xav
ier
:Car
dowon.
Theybothl
aughed,
I'
m guessi
ngCar
doi
sgood
orBobbysucks.

Scr
appy
: ky
kdieki
ndv
irmy,Nel
l
awagv i
rmy.
(Wat
chthekidf
orme,Nel
l
aiswait
ingf
orme)
Xav
ier
:fedef
ede(
shar
pshar
p)

Scrappyl
eftandIwasabitscar
edt
oevenbe
l
eftwithXavi
er.I
'
m st
il
lscar
edofhi
m.

Xav
ier
:thi
sfearofyour
s.Whatar
eyougoi
ngt
o
dowhennobody'st
herefory
ou?

Ij
ustshr uggedatthatquest i
onbecauseIdidn't
knowhowt oanswerit.IunderstandIneedto
bet oughandhandl emyownsi tuati
onsbutI
didn'taskforthehardshipsIhadi nmylifet
hat
mademet hewaythatIam.
Xav
ier
:youneedt
o-
?
?:Rel
l
ik!You'
reupf
or5K?
Xav
ier
:azi
tshe(
let
'sgo)

Heisnotaboutt
oleavemei napl
acel
iket
his
al
one!Bobbysai
dtheyshouldwat
choverme!
GoshwhydidIevenagreetobeher
e?

Xav
ier
:let
'
sgo.
Me:
I'
m notr
aci
ng.
Xav
ier
:andI
'
m notl
eav
ingy
ouher
eal
one.
Me:
whati
fwegetacaracci
dent
?
Xav
ier
:youworr
yt oomuch.Letme,
thedr
iver
,
wor
ryaboutt
hat.Nowlet
'sgo.
Me:
Ist
il
lhav
emywhol
eli
feahead-
Xav
ier
:Icoul
djustdr
agy
oui
nthecarand
ever
yonewi
ll
belooki
ngatus,
ory
oucoul
djust
comewithmetothecar
Me:
seemsl
i
keIdon'
thav
eachoi
ce.

Hechuckl edthenwewal kedov ertohiscar.He

openedt hedoorf orme, thenr ushedt ohi
ssi de
andgoti n.Ashest artedhiscar ,IsawCar do's
carpassus.Hewont her ace,thenhest arted
spinni
nghi scar.Ismi l
ed,itl
ookedso
danger ousyetsocool .Everyonewashy pi
ng
him up.ThenBobby '
scarf ol
lowedandI
chuckledatthef actthathel ost.Xaviersl
owl y
drovetot hestart
ingline.Iwor emyseatbel t
andt r
iedtoputonXav i
er'
sseatbel ts.

Xav
ier
:whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
saf
etypr
ecaut
ions.

Hesmi
l
edatmewhenIf
ini
shedbuckl
i
nghi
m
up.Itwasagenui nesmile,i
tgav emeachance
toadmi r
ehislooks.Alt
houghhehadabi ghead.
Hewascut einahoodgangst erway .He
screams'dangerous'assoonasy oulookathim
but,i
t'
squitecutethathiseyebrowsal most
connectedandheal wayshast hisangrylookon
hisfacethatcouldscareanyoneof f
.But
despiteal
lthat,
hewascut e.

Xav
ier
:li
kewhaty
ousee?
Me:
focusont
her
oad.

Helaughedandt hentheotherdude'
scarpulled
upinthestart
ingli
ne.Agorgeousgirlstoodi
n
themiddleofthecarswithanAmer i
canf l
ag
pri
ntedbandanainherhand.Shel i
ft
edher
handsupandi naf ewsecondsshedr opped
them andXavierdrov
eofffastashellI
squealed.Iwasscaredformydearl i
fe.He
l
ookedatmeandl aughed,thi
swasnotf unnyto
me.Het ookof
fhisseatbel
twi
thonehand,
the
carcur
vedabit.

Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
!No!
Xav
ier
:I'
m usedt
odr
ivi
ngwi
thouti
t.Chi
l
l.

Itri
edrelaxi
ngbutdamnitwashard.The
constanttur
nsandspeeds.Howlargei st
his
si
te?Af t
eralongti
mewef i
nal
l
yarri
v edand
Xavierwon.Icoul
dn'twai
ttogetout.He
stoppedmewhenIwasaboutt oopent heroom.
Hegotoutandopenedi tforme.

Me:thanky
ou.Di
dn'
tthi
nky
ouwer
ea
gent
leman.
Xavi
er:
I'
m not
.I'
mjustt
ryi
ngt
ogeti
nyour
pant
s.
Myj
awdr
opped.Hel
aughedandhuggedme.

Xav
ier
:I'
mjustpl
ayi
ngwi
thy
ou.
?
?:Iseey
ouhadmot
ivat
ion.

Hedownatmeandli
ckedhisl
ips.Il
ooked
awayt
ryi
ngt
ohidemysmile.

Xav
ier
:somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
.
?
?:5K.

Iwatchedashegav eXavi
erR5000.Nowonder
thi
sstuffi
sil
legal
notonlyi
sitdanger
ousbut
they'
repayi
ngoffwithdi
rt
ymoney .

Bobby
:Lel
ona!
Me:
Itol
dhi
m Ishoul
dn'
tgeti
nthecar
.
Bobby:l
et'
sjustgohomebef
oreMul
l
erf
inds
outandkil
l
sme.
Xavier
:whatwereyout hi
nki
ngbri
nginghi
s
si
stertother
ace?*laughs*Kingwould
underst
and.JustnotMul l
er
Bobby
:weknow.
~~~

-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
It
ookanothershotwi
thZi
khonaandKhany
i.
WewereinRandsanditwasli
t.

Khany
i:K,
evennowy
oucan'
tgetRel
l
ik?
Me:fr
iend.Hemustbegay
!Igi
vehi
m al
lthe
si
gns.What'
sther
enott
osee!
?
Khany
i:maybej
ustbecausey
ou'
rehav
ingsex
wit
hScrappy
Me:
justt
ogetcl
osert
ohi
m!
Zi
khona:
hav
eyout
ri
edt
hehoet
ri
ck?
Me:
bewi
tchhi
m!?
Khany i
:unxi
li
le*l
aughs*(you'r
edrunk)that'
s
thelastopti
on.Nowt hehoet ri
ckiseasy.I
nvit
e
him over,
wearnothingandr evealwhatgoods
he'
smi ssingouton.Andhe'llbeinyourbedin
notime!
Me:
whati
fher
eact
sangr
il
y?
Zikhona:okay
,drughim wi
thpi
l
lst
hatwil
lget
hissoli
derup,thatwayhewon'
tbeabl
eto
resisty
ou.
Me:
thi
siswhyy
ouguy
sar
emybi
tches!
Khanyi
: Lonapr
obabl
ywould'
vesai
d"l
eav
ehi
m,
you'
ll
findsomeonebett
er"
Weall
laughedatheri
mit
ati
ngLona,
itwas
r
eal
l
yhilar
ious.

Me: heeh!Ndini
xel
elebane'sparkbonaboy2.
Phofsizophel
akwezimini.*fl
i
pshai r
*(l
etme
tel
lyouguys,theyhavethissparktoget
her
.
Wellit'
sgonnaendintheseday s)
Zi
khona:
pussypowermnt
ase!
Khany
i:i
nful
lfor
ce!*
laughs*
Me:IdonatedOmarhernumberbecausehe
l
ikesherandsheli
keshi
m.Thatwayshe'l
ldat
e
Omarandpl ayf
arawayfr
om Rel
li
k.
Zi
khona:she'
stoobor i
ngforRel
li
kany
way .
Uzol
alangexeshalokut
ya!(He'
l
lsl
eepinst
ead
ofhavi
ngsex)*laughs*

ThisiswhyIlovehangingoutwi
thKhanyiand
Zi
khonawe' r
ealwayslaughi
ngandwehav e
greatdi
scussi
onsaboutsex,men,booze,
and
money
.

~~~
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Itwast henextday ,
andCardohadtextedme
afterclasstohelphim wi
ththet
opicwedid
earli
erinclasstoday.Sowewentt otheli
brar
y.
Iexplaineditt
ohi m sl
owl
y,andheunderst
ood
i
twi thoutmeusi nggangexamplessoIguess
thatwaspr ogress?

Car
do:
thanksagai
nfordoi
ngt
his.
Me:
noprobl
em andIknowy
ou'
regoi
ngt
oace
t
omorr
ow'st
est
.
Car
do:
yeahr
ight
.*sar
cast
ic*
Me:
I'
m ser
ious.

Hejustnoddedandwef i
nishedst
udyi
ngt hen
heofferedmearidehome.IwasanxiousbutI
tooki
tany way
.Wearriv
edatmyhome, andI
sawKi ngandMull
er'
scars,andot
hercars

Car
do:
they
'r
eback.
Me:
thankgod.

Hechuckl edandgotoutoft hecarwithme.I

didn'
twanthi mtogoinsi
dethehousewi t
hme
butIguessi twasokaybecausemybr others
woul d'
vet houghtanot
herguydroppedmeof f
.I
heardnoi sessoonaswewal kedin.I'
m
guessingt heheistwentwell
andthey'r
e
celebrat
ing.
Car
do:
boughtherhomesaf
ely
.
Ki
ng:
beni
phi
?(Wher
ewer
eyou?
)
Car
do:
li
brar
y.
Mull
er:i
zit
hikantiuyazi
dal
elakumnt ana
wasekhayandizokubethaunye.(
ifIfindout
you'
rehavi
ngsexwi thmysi st
erI'
ll
beatt heshi
t
outofyou.
)
Me:
Khazi
mla!
Car
do:
no,
bruh.
Me:
I'
m sosor
ry.I
-
Car
do:
it'
scool
.I'
l
lseey
oul
ater
.

Ij
ustnoddedandhel
eft
,theguysjustl
aughed
atmebecauseIwassoembarrassed.

Mul
l
er:
Iwasj
ustpul
l
inghi
sleg.
Me:
notf
unny
.*annoy
ed*
Het riedtohugmel aughi ng,Ipushedhim away
andwentt omyr oom.Thi siswhyIwoul dnev er
talktomybr othersaboutOmar ,theywould
nev erunderstand.IfiguredBobbywenthome
sinceIdi dn'
tseehi m downst air
swi t
hTrigger,
Gunz, X,
andmybr others.SinceIhadnot hingto
do,Ideci dedt ostudyagai n.2hour spassed
andIwasv eryti
red.IthinkI'
mv eryr
eadyforthe
testIwi l
lwr i
tetomor row.

Mul
l
er:
sti
l
lst
udy
ing?

Ijumpedshocked,
webot
hchuckl
edatmy
react
ion.

Mul
l
er:
lookhar
de(
sor
ry)aboutear
li
eron.
Me:whaty
oudi
dwasv
eryembar
rassi
ngand
awkwar
d.
Mull
er:Iknow,i
twasj
ustajoke.Yout
hinkI'
dbe
l
aughingwithhi
mifIt
houghthewashav i
ngsex
wi
thyou?
Me:
li
kebeat
inghi
m upwoul
dbebet
ter
.
Mul
ler
:itwoul
d.Boysshouldbet
helastt
hing
ony
ourmi ndr
ightnow.Focusonyourst
udies.
Me:
soi
fyouf
oundoutIwasdat
ing-
Mul
l
er:I
'dbeatt
hefuckoutoft
hatguyf
ort
ryi
ng
t
oplaymysist
er.
Me:
whati
ftheyar
ereal
l
ygenui
ne?
Mul
l
er:Idon'
tgi
veafuck.Howdoyouknow
t
hey
'r
egenuine?Doy
our eadmi
nds?
Me:
let
'sj
ustst
opt
alki
ngaboutt
his.
Mul
l
er:
thepr
obl
em i
syou'
ret
oonai
ve-
Me:
Khazi
mlapl
ease,
justdr
opi
t.

Myphonevi
brat
edi
ndi
cat
ingIhav
eat
ext
.It
wasOmar.
O :
we'
rest
il
lonf
orWat
erwor
ld?
Me:sur
e.I'
l
lbei
nKay
la'
sapar
tmenti
n30
mi
nutes.
O :
cool
.Can'
twai
ttoseey
ou.

Ismil
edatmyphone.Mull
erclear
edhi
sthr
oat
.I
l
ookedupathim andhehadthisl
ookonhi
s
facet
hatscar
edmeabi t
.

Mul
l
er:
whowast
hat
?
Me:Kay
la.Wehadthisl
i
ttl
efi
ghtbutnowshe
want
smet osl
eepov
eratherapar
tment.

Myheartst
art
edbeati
ngfast.Ihopehedi
dn'
t
r
eal
iseIwaslyi
ng.It
extedKaylatobemyali
bi.
Me:I'
m goingonadat
ewithOmar
,ifmy
br
othersaskI'
m wi
thyou.

Il
ookedatMul
leragai
n,hel
ookedl
i
kehedi
dn'
t
buymystor
yonebit.

Mull
er:
butyouwereatherhouset
heday
bef
oreyest
erday
.
Me:
yeah,
uh.
..wehadaf
ightt
hen.
Mul
l
er:
okay
.GuessI
'
llseey
out
omor
row.
Me:youwil
l
?Imeany
eahy
ouwi
l
l.*
chuckl
es
ner
vousl
y*

Forthefi
rstt
imeeverMul
l
erbeli
evedmylie.
Thisisashockert
ome.He'susuall
yontopof
thi
ngsandalwaysknowswhenI'
ml yi
ng.
~~
IknockedonKay
la'
sapar
tmentandsheopened
af
teral
ongt
ime.

Kay
la:
hey
.

Shelookedl
ikeshit
.Herhai rwasmessedup
andhermakeupwasst i
llonbutitwasalso
messedup.Shewaswear ingashortred
spar
kli
ngdress.I
'm guessingshewentoutlast
ti
meandhangov eriskil
l
ingher.

Me: I
'
m goi
ngonadatei
nabout10mi
nutesand
Ineedyoutocov
erf
ormewhenmybrothers
askwhereIam.
Kay
la:
Omari
sthatgood?
Me:
her
ent
edt
hewhol
erest
aur
antf
orme
Kay
la:
what
!

Inev
ert
oldKay
lat
hef
ull
det
ail
soft
hedat
e
becauseIcamebackt
oherapar
tmentat1am
Me:
Iknowr
ight
?
Kayla:
ifIknewhewasTHATrichIwould'
ve
takenhimformysel
f.ButI
'
m pret
tyoccupi
ed.
Me:
wit
h?
Kay
la:
can'
ttel
lyouunt
ilhe'
smi
ne.

If
eltbadbecauseIsawScr
appywi
thanot
her
gi
rll
astni
ght.

Me:
IsawScr
appywi
thanot
hergi
rll
astni
ght
.
Kayl
a:Iknow.That'
shisgi
rl
fr
iend.Poorgirl
can'
tevensati
sfyhermanthatmucht hathe
comescrawli
ngt omeeverynight*
laughs*
Me:
butt
hatmakesy
ouahoeanddi
rt
y.
Kayl
a:whatev
erI'
m notev
enworr
iedabouthi
m
oranyone'
sopini
ononwhatwehave.
Me:
okay
.

Iwaswearingablackdressthatwasj ustabove
mykneeswi thmywhitesandals.UnderneathI
hadonepieceswimsuitthatwasn'ttoofancy
j
ustablack,all
cover
ed,swimsuitwithanopen
back.Mybraidswereinabun.Ther ewasa
knockonthedoor.

Me:
that
'shi
m.By
e.
Kay
la:
hav
efun,
kiddo.

Iwavedgoodbyeandopenedt hedoorforOmar
,
helookedamazing.Hewaswear i
ngblack
ri
ppedjeanswithbrownshoesandawhi t
eshi
rt
thatwasonlybutt
onedonhisstomachand
belowsohischestwasreveal
ed.
Omar:y
ougetmor
ebeaut
if
ulev
eryday
.
*smi
l
es*
Me:
thanky
ou.Youl
ookamazi
ngt
oo.*
smi
l
es*
Omar
:shal
lwe?
Kay
la:
yeah,
leav
e.Pl
ease.
Omar
:hangov
er?

Kaylajustnoddedandhel aughed.Wel efther

thereannoyedandhedr oveust oWat er worl
d.I
t
waspackedandIwasabi tnervous,Itookmy
pil
lsinthemor ni
ngbeforemycl assesbutI
knewIshoul d'
veboughtthem wi t
hmef or
assurance.

Omar
:tr
ustme.You'
l
lbeokay
.

Ij
ustsmil
edandwebot
hgotout
.Hehel
dmy
handandsmil
edatme,
thenwewal
kedt
othe
pl
ace.
~~
Iwashav i
ngalotoffun, andIwasv eryhappy
heeventookmet oapl acelikethis.It'
smyf i
rst
ti
me, i
nalongtime,havingfuninapl aceful
lof
peopleIdon'
tknow.Ireallyam atpeacewhen
I'
m withOmar.He'
sani ceguy ,he'
sgood
l
ookingandhedoesev enl ooklikedanger .

Omar
:Ihav
etot
hankKay
la
Me:
for
?
Omar:pr
essur
ingmet otal
ktoyouother
wiseI
woul
dhavenev erhadt
hecouraget
o.
Me:
pressur
ingy
ou?
Omar:notthatshef
orcedme.It'
sjustt
hatI
wasscared.Iknowcrazyr
ight
?
Me:yeahaguyl
i
key
ou,
scar
edt
otal
ktome.
Real
l
ycrazy
.
Omar:
you'
rejustsobeauti
fulandIt
houghtI
waswayoutofyourleague.
Me:f
unnythi
ngis,Kay
lasai
dyouwant
edmy
numberf
rom her
.
Omar :
nah,shegav
eitt
omeandsai
dyourl
i
fe
neededexcit
ement
.
Me:
wow.
Omar:Inev
erunder
stoodwhyy
ouhangout
wi
thher.
Me:shet
heonl
yf r
iendIhav
e.Sheknowsme,
hav
inganewfr
iendwouldmean-
Omar
:st
art
ingal
lov
eragai
n.
Me:
yes!AndIj
ustdon'
thav
etheener
gyf
ort
hat
.
Omar
:youst
art
edov
erwi
thme.
Me:
that
'sdi
ff
erent
.
Omar:
how?Iknowy oursi
tuati
onandIdidn'
t
j
udgeyou.Iaccept
edy ouf
ory ou.Kay
laj
ust
r
ubsmeof finawrongway ,andyounotseei
ng
herf
orwhosher
eal
l
yiswor
ri
esme.
Me:
okayenoughaboutKay
-
Omar:don'tpr
otectherbecauseshewoul
dn'
t
pr
otectyou.
Me:shewould!AndIwoul
dreal
lyl
oveiti
fyou
woul
dstoptalki
ngaboutmybestf
ri
end!

Her
aisedhi
shandsupi
nsur
render
.Hesi
ghed.

Me:
I'
m sor
ry,
it'
sjustt
hat
-
Omar :
noItotal
lyunderstand.Myf ut
urewi f
eis
ver
ypr ot
ect
iveofthepeopl esheloves,Ihave
chosenwell
.Our5childrenarelucky
Me:
5!?That
'st
oomuch*
laughs*
Omar
:mi
nimum 5maxi
mum 7*
laughs*
Me:
noway
!Iam notpushi
ngout7babi
es.
Omar
:soy
ouadmi
tyou'
l
lbemyf
utur
ewi
fe.
*
smi
l
es*
Me:
Omar
-
Omar :Iknow.Youwantthistogoslowbecause
you'r
escaredofgett
inghurt.Iunder
stand,
but
atleastgivemethepermissiontocal
lyoumy
gir
lfr
iend.

Iblushedandnodded.Hesmi l
edmoreli
kea
goof ygri
n,hebabykissedme.Ifr
oze.Li
ke
l
iterall
yfr
oze.Idi
dn'tknowwhattodo,shoul
dI
ki
sshi m back?Idon'twanttomovetoofast
,
Bobbysai dIshoul
dwai tandnotr
ushthi
ngs.

Omar :I
'
m sorr
y,i
fy ou'
renotcomfortabl
ewit
h
kissi
ng,i
t'
sokay.Icanwaitforaslongasyou'
re
ready-

Ishuthi
m upwi
thafrenchkiss.I
twasn'
tal
lbad,
Iwasenjoyi
ngi
t.Webothbrokeitof
fand
smi
ledateachot
her
,hegavemeli
tt
lepecks
onmyli
psandcheekst
hatmademegiggl
e.

?
?:Lel
ona.

IjumpedwhenIhear dMuller
'sv oice.Iwas
stuck,mymout hgotdr yi
nseconds.Howam I
goingt oexpl
aint his?I
namat t
erofseconds.
Mul l
erwasbeat ingupOmar ,Iscreamedt r
ying
tobreakitoff.Somepeopl ewer et aki
ngv i
deos
andot herswerebr eaki
ngthef ightof f
.Omar
wasbl oodyashel l
andIfeltbad.Iwascr yi
ng
sohar d,t
hisiswhyIdon' twantmybr others
knowingI '
m dating.They'
rewayt oocr azy.

Mul
l
er:
azi
tshewena(
let
'sgo)
me:
no!
Mul
l
er:
what
?
Me:Ihavetogowi t
hhimtomakesurehe
doesn'
tpressanychar
gesagai
nsty
ou.What
areyouevendoingher
e!?
Mull
er:t
hatdoesn'
tmatter
!Whythef
uckar
e
yougoi
ngaroundkissi
ngboysandgoi
ngon
dat
es!?
Me:
i-i
..
.
Mull
er:
youwanthimtotryandrapeyousoyou
cancomecry
ingtousagain?Yout hi
nkwe
enj
oyseei
ngourl
itt
lesi
sterhur
t!
?
Me:
n-no.(
sni
ff
s)

thepar amedicscamer unningi

n,assoonas
Omarwasi ntheambulanceIgotintoo.Mul l
er
didnotev ensayawor d.Iknewhewasev er
y
disappointedinme.Ifeltbadbecauseitlooked
l
ikeIchoseOmarov ermybr ot
herandt hat
wouldnev erhappenIlov emybrotherstodeath.
Buti neededtomakesur eOmarwasokay ,and
hedoesn' tpresschargesagai nstMull
erwhom
I
'm sti
llconfusedhowhef oundme.Di dhehav e
mef oll
owed?Wear ri
vedatt hehospit
al,since
hewasn' tthatinjur
edheneededaf ew
bandagesbutt hedoct orsaidhe'
ll
keephi m
overfortheni ght,j
ustt oregul
ateever
ything.I
wasnowi nhi sroom, ashamedt oevenlookat
hi
m.

Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
Omar:
it'
snoty ourf
aultyourbrot
heri
s
ov
erpr
otect
ive.Imightjustcal
lhi
m Fl
oyd.
Me:*laughs*pl
easedon'
tjokeaboutt
his.I
t'
s
ser
ious.Ireal
lyf
eelbad.
Omar :
youdon'thav
eto,Iunderst
and.Imean
i
fmyl i
ttl
esi
sterwentt
hroughsomuchi nhigh
schoolandshestar
tsdat
ingI'
dgocrazytoo.
Me:
pleasedon'
tpr
esschar
ges.
Omar
:youowemeadat
eagai
n*smi
l
es*
Me:I
'
my ourgi
rl
fr
iend.Ihavetogoondat
es
wi
thyou,
it'
smyjob.*smirks*
Omar:
youmakei
tseem l
i
key
ou'
ref
orcedt
odo
i
t.*
smil
es*

HecopiedwhatIsai
dtohi
m af
terourf
ir
stdat
e.
Ichuckl
ed.

Omar:gi
vemeaki
ssandmakeev
ery
thi
nggo
away
.

Ismil
edandpeckedhi
slips.Hepouted,
I
l
aughedandki
ssedhim again.Aft
ert
hekisshe
smil
edatme.NowIhavet owor r
yaboutthe
l
ectur
eMull
erandKingwi l
lgivemewhenIget
home

BOOKERSMEETXAVI
ER
[
02/
17,
11:
26]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT7
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
me:
what
'
sgonnahappenwi
thy
ourcar
?
Omar:damn.If
orgotaboutt
hat
.Youcandr
ive
r
ight
?
Me:yeahIj
ustdon'
thav
eal
i
censenora
l
ear
ners.
Omar :atleastyoucan.Whenthedoct
orcomes
I
'llaskformykey sthatwer
einmyshorts,y
ou'l
l
dot otheadmi ni
str
ati
ondepar
tmentI'
m sure
theycanhel pyou.
Me:okay,
I'
ll
par
kinatt
heapar
tmentbui
l
ding
par
king
Omar
:howar
eyougoi
ngt
ogohome?
Me:
wal
k.
Omar:i
t'
sgett
ingl
ate.Whydon'
tyout
aket
he
cart
oyourhouse?
Me:Ki
ngandMullerwil
lpr
obabl
ybur
nitaf
ter
t
heyhavedamagedit.
Omar
:*chuckl
es*wel
lthat
'
sext
reme.
Me:
Iknow.*
sighs*
Omar:butIsti
l
ldon'
tl
ikey
ouwalki
ngatthis
ti
me.We'reinCapeTownremember?*
laughs*
ouch.

If
eltbadbecausehecoul
dn'
tev
enl
augh
wi
thoutfeel
i
ngpains.

Omar
:atl
eastcal
loneoft
hem t
ocomegety
ou
f
rom t
heapar
tment
.
Me:
they
'l
lgi
vemeal
ongassl
ect
ure.
Omar:i
t'
sbett
erthanwal
ki
ng.Safet
yfir
st.And
youcantakemyshort
ssoy oudon'
tgetstar
es
whenyouleav
ethispl
ace*smil
es*

That'
swhenIr eali
sedIwasi nmyswi msui
tand
Ihadat owelwrappedaroundmyl egs.The
doctorwalkedinandafterchecki
nghim outhe
assuredhim he'
ll
gohomet omorrowandOmar
askedforthecarkeys.Andt hedoct
orsaidI
shouldfol
lowhim.

Me:
okay
,wel
ll
etmego.
Omar
:by
e,t
extmewheny
ougethome.

Inoddedandkissedhi
m goodbyethenf
oll
owed
thedoct
or.Fi
nall
yIhadthekeysandworethe
shor ts,thenIr emember edIl eftmypur seat
Wat erwor l
d.HowwasIgonnagot her e?I
wal kedev enthoughi twasal ongwal kt hatI
hat edsomuchbecausei tgav emet i
met othink
aboutwhathappened.Iam t her easonmy
brot herhur tOmar .Thepoorki dwasshowi ng
megoodt hingsandt reat ingmegoodbutmy
brot herjustdoesn' twantt oadmi tIam gr owing
upandI 'm notal i
ttl
egi rl any mor e.Fi nallyI
arrivedatWat erworldandmyf eetandl egshur t
l
ikehel l
becauseIwaswal ki
ngsof ast .Iwent
i
npani cmodewhenIdi dn' tseehi scarandt he
placewascl osed.Itwasal soget tingv erydark.
Idon' tev enhav emycel lphonewi thme.My
emot i
onsgott hebestofmeandIwascr yi
ng
struggl i
ngt obr eathe.Isatdown, Ididn' teven
knowhowIwasgoi ngt ogohome.Iwas
alreadyr ecei v
ingst aresf rom peopl ewhenI
wal kedher e.Thebr eat hinggotbadandIsawa
twoguy sappr oachingme, theylookedy oung.
?
?:heyar
eyouokay
?

Idi
dn'
tanswerIj
ustcri
ed.Het
riedt
ohugme
andIscr
eamedbackingaway.

?!
:I'
m sor
ry.Lookwe'
renott
ryi
ngt
ohur
tyou.
We'r
ejusttaki
ngawalk.

Mybreat
hinggotst
abl
eknowi
ngI
'
m notget
ti
ng
r
apedtoday.

??
:utheni
lomnt
ana?(
What
'
swr
ongwi
tht
his
gi
rl
?)
?
!:It
hinkshe'
scr
azy
.
?
? :
masambesumshi
ye.Akayonxaki
yet
hu
(
let
'sl
eav
eher
.She'
snotourprobl
em.
?!
:hey
,I'
m Zukoandt
hisi
sLi
ya.I
sthere
someonewecancall
tocomeandfetchyou?
Inoddedr epeatedl yli
keandcrazyper
son.Zuko
tookouthi sphoneandpunchedsomet hingon
i
t,andslowl ygav ei tt
omet ry
ingnott
oscare
me.IinstantlydialledKing'
snumber.Andlucki
l
y
forme,heanswer edquickl
y.

Ki
ng:
speak.
Me: Yanga,
I'
m atWater
wor
ld.Idon'
tknowhow
I'
m gonnagohomei t
'st
oodarktowalkI'
m
scared.
King:
we'l
lber
ightt
her
e.Who'
swi
thy
ou?
*worr
ied*
Me:
2guy
sIdon'
tknow.
King:
2guysyoudon'
tknow!
?Gi
vet
hem t
he
phone!*
yel
l
ing*

Isni
ff
edandgav
eZukohi
sphone.Theywer
e
tal
ki
ngont hephoneandIcoul
dhearKi
ng
shout
ing.

Zukho:
no-nosir.Weweren'
ttr
yinganyt
hing.
Wesawheri nthepavementcr
yingand
st
ruggl
ingtobreathesowehel
pedher.
..stay
wit
hher?.
..okay.

Icoul dseehehadf ear,mybr othershadt hat

affectonpeopl e.Bot hadi sadvantageandan
adv antage.Itdidn'
tevent akemor ethan30
minut esandt heyarrived.Irant othem, well
King, becauseIwasscar edMul l
erwasst ill
angr yatwhathappenedear li
eron.Mul lerwent
tothoseguy s,hetalkedwi ththem andt hen
dappedt hem.Iwasst i
llcryi
ngi nKing'sarms.I
knowhowdr amat i
cIam, i
t'sjustthatIwas
scar edsomet hingwoul dhappent ome.Cape
Towni sadanger ouspl ace.
Ki
ng:
let
'
sgety
ouhome.

Inoddedandhegotmei nhiscar,andhedrove
off
,Mullerfol
lowed.I
nthecar,Ikeptsnif
fi
ng.
Maybet hi
swoul dmeanmyget awayf r
om the
l
ecture?Final
lywearri
vedathomeandIwas
shockedtof i
ndothercar
s,andOmar '
scarst
il
l
i
nonepi ece.

Me:
that
'sOmar
'scar
.
Ki
ng:
Mul
l
erboughti
thomewi
thy
ourst
uff
.
Me:It
houghtt
heywer
est
olen.Thankgod.I
she
madatme?
King:
uyav
uthangumsi
ndo.(
He'
sbur
ningwi
th
anger)
Me:
whycan'
theseeI
'
m gr
owi
ngup?
King:
whycan'ty
ouwai
tunt
ilv
arsi
tyends
befor
edat
ing?Whydi
dyouli
eaboutyour
wher
eabout
s?
Me:i
fyouguy
sknewOmary
ouwoul
dappr
ove
ofhi
m.
Ki
ng:
let
'
sjustgoi
nsi
de.

Inoddedwewenti nside.Mul l
erwasst il
l i
nhi s
car,If el
tbadbecauseI 'mt her easonhi smood
changedal lday.If el
tlikewhatIdi dwassel fi
sh,
mybr other satleastdeser vet het ruthwhenI '
m
startingt odat ebecauset heywer etheones
whohadmybackt hroughwhat everIwent
through.Theyf eltmypai n,andt heywer ether e
topi ckupt hepi ecest hatwer ebr okenandf or
thatI '
llf
or everlov ethem.Thei rf ri
endswer ein
thehouset oo.Iwasembar rassedIhadona
swi msui tandboyshor t
son.Ij ustwav edand
wentt omyr oom,Ishower ed, didmyr outine
thenwor esweat s.WhenIwal kedi nmyr oom
from t hebat hroom.Ij umpedatMul l
erlayingon
mybedandl ookingatt heni ghtst ar
sgraffition
thecei
li
ng.Iwantedi
tinmyr oom becauseit
wasbeauti
fulsomybrother
smadei thappen
formetheyhi
redsomeonetodoi t
.Ijoinedhim
bylayi
ngonthebedandlookingattheceil
ing.

Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
Mul
l
er:
sor
ryy
oul
i
ed?Orsor
ryy
ougotcaught
?
Me: Khaziml
aI'm goingtostartdat
ing,sooner
orlateryouknowt hat,
anditjusthappened
sooner-
Mul
l
er:
Idon'
thav
eapr
obl
em wi
thy
oudat
ing-
Me:
youdon'
t
?*shocked*
Mull
er:Idon'
thav
eaproblem wit
hyoudat
ing
Omar,he'sagoodki
d,andnowheknowst hati
f
hemessesupIwon'thesi
tat
et opopacapup
hi
s-
Me:
okay
!
Mul
l
er:
Irespectt
hathet
ookabeat
ingf
ory
ou
andhedidn'
tfi
ghtback.Hehasgoodacademi
c
scor
es-
Me:
your
esear
chedabouthi
m?
Mul
l
er:
Ihi
redKur
tforar
eason.

Kur
tisthepri
vat
einv
est
igat
ort
heyal
way
suse
tof
indoutthi
ngs.

Me:
ist
hathowy
ouf
oundoutwher
eIwas?
Mul
l
er:
nah.
Me:
wel
lhowdi
dyouknow?

Bynowwewerenotl
ayi
ngdownbutj
ustsi
tt
ing
onthebed.

Mul
l
er:
Kay
la.*
shr
ugs*
Me:
you'
rel
yi
ng.
Mul
ler
:afewhundr
edsandt hreat
eni
ngwor
ds
wer
eenoughtohavehert
alking.
Me:y
outhr
eat
enedmyf
ri
endf
ori
nfor
mat
ion
andy
oubri
bedher
.
Mull
er:
she'snotar
eal
fri
endi
fshedoesn'
t
cov
erforyou.
Me:
mxm.*
rol
l
sey
es*
Muller
:lookIcan'
tchoosefr
iendsforyou,but
thatgi
rlwilll
eadyoui
nthewr ongpathifyou
keepdef endi
ngherwhil
eshedoesn'tgive2
shit
sabouty ou.

Ineedtotal
ktoKayl
atomor
row.Imaybenai
ve
butIdon'
tli
kehowpeopl
eal
wayssayshe'
sbad
forme.Ineedtot
alkt
oknowwhat'
sreal
l
y
goingon.

Mull
er:nextti
medon'tli
eaboutyour
whereabouts.Itmakesusworrymore.
Hesaidgetti
ngup, hecol
l
ect
edmylaptop,
took
theext
ensionfortheTV,t
ookmycel
lphoneand
all
myot hergadgets.

Me:
howam Isupposedt
ocont
acty
ouguy
s.
Muller
:You'reonlyr
eceivi
ngi
twheny ou'
reout
oftheyard,andifIf
indoutyou'
rebackon
socialmedia.I
t'
sgonnabeabi ggerpr
oblem
thanthisone.AndI'
llt
rackal
lyourcal
ls
Me:
forhowl
ong?
Mull
er:
ithi
nkaweekwi
l
ldo.AndnoKay
la
vi
sit
s
Me:
it'
sbet
tert
hanbei
ngbeatup.
Mul
l
er:
youknowI
'
dnev
erdot
hatt
oyou.

Ismi
l
ed,andheki
ssedmyforeheadandl
eft
.I
wasl
efti
nmyboredom soIdeci
dedtosl
eep.
~~
Thefol l
owingdayaf terclassIwentt othe
hospitalwit
hat axi.Igotther ejustintime
beforetheyreleasedOmar ,hesmi ledoncehe
sawme.Igothi m hisclothesf rom his
apartmentafterItoldthel andlordthest ory
,wel
l
notthewhol estory,andGunzwasgoi ngto
bri
ngt hecarsinceMul lernorKi ngwant edto
andIcoul dn'
tdrivethecart oschool becauseI
wasscar edIwasgonnawr eckit.

Omar
:theQueenofmyhear
t.
Me:
hey
.
Omar
:what
'swr
ong?
Me:l
et'
sjustsayI
'
m notl
i
kingt
hepuni
shment
onebi
t.
Omar
:nogadget
s?
Me:
foraweek.
Omar
:howam Iwi
l
lgoi
ngt
ocont
acty
ou.
Me:Idon'
tknow.ButIt
hinkI
'
llhavet
ocool
it
of
fbecauseIdon'
twantmoretroubl
e.
Omar:
Iunderst
andev
ent
houghaweekwi
thout
youwi
llbehel
l.
Me:
yousur
viv
ed21y
ear
swi
thoutme*
laughs*
Omar :butthatwasbeforeImetyou.
*chuckles*nowI'
m addictedt
oyou*sings*
Me:
nev
erdot
hatagai
n!*
laughs*

Icoul
dn'tstoplaughinghel ookedsocutebut
hecouldn'tsi
ngatal l
!Hel aughedalsoandthen
hewentt ochange,andl uckil
yGunzcameand
gaveust hekeys.Ithankedhi m andhenodded,
hestar
edatOmar .

Gunz:it
hambil
eil
ight
ieyakho.Uyayi
themba?
(Yourboyf
ri
endisweak.Doy out
rusthim?)
Me:
yes.Andt
hanky
ou.By
e.
Gunz:*l
aughs*ezi
Trust
fundbabi
eszenu.
(Theset
rustfundki
dsyougir
lschoose)
Me:
thanky
ou!*
laughs*

Hehuggedmeandl ef
t.Icoul
dseeOmarwasa
bi
toffendedt
hatGunzthoughthecoul
dn'
t
pr
otectme.

Me:
you'
reokay
?
Omar
:yeah.
..
Me:he'
salwaysli
kethat
,joki
ngar
ound.Don'
t
t
akeiti
ntotheheart
.
Omar:i
t'
sreal
lyfi
ne.Iguessbei
ngraisedby
whi
tepeopledoeshaveadisadvant
ageafteral
l
.

Ifakedasmil
ebecauseIdi
dn'
tknowhowto
respondt
othat.Gunzwasj
ustj
oking,
wel
lI
thi
nkhewas, shouldIhavedef
endedOmar ?It
wasn'tany
thi
ngser i
ous,Omarissensi
tiv
ewhat
I'
vecomet or
ealise.We'r
eli
kealmostthesame,
andifIwasinhisshoesI'dwanthi
mt odef end
me,IguessIhav etotal
ktoGunzaboutt hejoke.

Me:
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
Omar
:hey
,It
oldy
ou.I
t'
sokay
.*smi
l
esweakl
y*

Hedr ovemehome, andonceIwasi nsidethe

yard,hedr oveoffhome.Lucki lyforme.My
brotherswer en'
thome.Ipl acedmyphonei n
Mul l
er'
sbed.Andwal kedout .Thet esttoday
wasact uallyeasierthanIt hought .May be
becauseIst udiedal ot ?Andt hoset hi
ngsI
studiedwer ethere.Ilookedov eratt hetopic
thelecturerwant edust olookov er,Iendedup
readingitandunder st andi
ngi t
.Af terIwhile,I
washungr y.Icheckedt hefri
dgeandi twas
empt yli
ker eall
yempt yandIwasdy ingin
hunger.It ookmyphonef rom Mull
er'sroom
andwal kedt oPick'nPay .Itwasn'
tthatmuch
ofadistancei twasa30mi nutewalk.Ibought
myf ood, atthestoreIsawXav i
erwithanot her
gi
rl,
Iqui cklyhi
dmy sel
finthetoyssect i
on.I
hopehedoesn' tseeme.Whyi nthehel li
sCape
Townsosmal l
?Ev erywhereIturnhe'sthere!

?
?:t
oyssect
ion?

Iturnedaroundandhewasl ookingatmewi t
h
hissexylook,anditwassomesmer isi
ng.He
l
ickedhislips.Iwasinutt
ershockathowhot
helooked.Whati supwithhimt oday ?Hewas
wear i
nggreyjeanswithawhi tet-shi
rtthatwas
writt
en"LOVETHEHUSTLE"andt hesef l
y
sneakers.Histatt
ooswereindi slay.Isawt hat
hehadanewhai r
cutandhiswav eswer eon
point.Hesmi ledatme,andt hat'
swheni tcame
downonmet hatIwasstari
ngt oohar d.Wor seI
haveaboyfr
iendnow, Ican'
tj
uststar
eatother
men.Especi
all
yt akenmen,I'
m assumingt
he
gi
rli
shisgir
lf
riend.

Me:
yeah.Ij
ustl
ovet
het
oys.

Thatwassoawkwar d.Myr esponseissolame.

Isil
entlysighedatmyawkwar dness.He
chuckled,thenhisgi
rlfr
iendcamet ous.She
tr
iedtot ouchhishand,hef ol
dedhishands.
May bet r
oubleinpar
adise?

?
?:heyI
'
m Di
neo
Me:
Lel
ona.
Dineo:
Lelona?Mhm..Doesn'
tri
ngabel
l
,he
nevert
oldmeaboutyou.
Me:
seey
ouar
ound,
Xav
ier
.
Xav
ier
:shar
p.
Iwasaboutt oleave,t
henhehuggedme.She
l
ookedatmeshocked.NowIf eltbadthatI
di
srespectedthepoorgirll
ikethat.Iqui
ckly
wentt ogopayf ormythingsbeforemy
brothersar
ri
veathome.Af t
erIjustwasdone, I
walkedhome.Ont heway ,
Iheardacarbeep.I
l
ookedatt heroad,andtherewasXav i
erinhis
bl
ackRangeRov er.

Xav
ier
:needar
ide?
Me:
no.Homei
sjustar
oundt
hecor
ner
.

Hisgir
lf
ri
endi
ntheopposi
teseatwasangryas
hel
l.Idi
dn'
twantt
oupsetherevenmore.

Xav
ier
:geti
nthecarLel
ona.
Hisvoi
ceboomedwi t
hsomuchf i
rmnessand
str
ength.Igotinthecar,
atthebackthough.I
knowhehasangeri ssuessoIdidnotwantto
upsethim more.Heglar
edathisgirl
fr
iend.She
fol
dedherarms,andl ookoutthewindow.

Xav
ier
:Di
neo.
Di
neo:
what
?
Me:
Icanwal
kguy
s,i
t'
sreal
l
ynotapr
obl
em-
Xav
ier
:no!Don'
tfuckwi
thmeDi
neo.
..

Iwasscar
edf
orher,
andIdi
dn'
tev
enknow
whatt
heywer
eargui
ngabout
.

Di
neo:
wantt
hisseatLel
ona?
Me:
noI
'
mfi
ne,
thanky
ou.
Di
neo:
please.I
..
.Ii
nsi
st.
Shel ookedatXav i
erwit
ht hesaddesteyesever
,
Ijustwantedtohugher ,himt hough..
.Hedid
notcar eonebit
.Topl easet hepoorgir
l,I
switchedseatswi t
hher,shebumpedme
purposelyal
ongt heway .Ifl
inchedather
rudeness.Igoti
nt hecar,thenhest art
ed
drivi
ng.Heparkedr i
ghtinfrontofthegate.
WhenIwasaboutt oopent hedoor,hegotout
.

Xav
ier
:don'
t.

Icoul
dn'
thel
pbutsmi
l
easheopenedt
hedoor
forme.

Xav
ier
:what
?*chuckl
es*
Me:
sti
l
lget
ti
ngusedt
oyoubei
ngagent
leman.
Xav
ier
:don'
tpushi
t.
Ilaughed,thenIsaidgoodbye.Iwav edathi s
girl
fr
iendwhol ookedmor epissed.Yeah, her
boy f
ri
endwasdi srespect
fulbutshel etitsl
ide.
Whyst aywhensomeone' sdisr espectf
ul
towardsy ouli
kethat?Hemadesur eIwas
i
nsidet hehouseandt henhel eft
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Ismil
edjustt
hinki
ngabouther,
she'sso
peacef
ulandnotint
othebull
shitt
heseCape
Townhoeshav e.

Di
neo:
youl
ethercal
lyoubyy
ourname.
..
Me:
notnow.
Dineo:y
ouneverl
etanyonecally
oubyy our
namebesidesRel
li
k,shecal
lsyoubyyourname.
Youopendoorsforher,
shetouchesyoubut
you'r
enothavi
ngsexwithher.Whoissheto
you?
Me: Isai
dnotnow!I
'
m gonnadr
opy
ouof
fat
yourhome.
Dineo:
weallhaverul
est ofol
l
ow,what
'
sspeci
al
abouther
?*cryi
ng*allt
hepastgi
rl
shavebeen
thesame,you'
rediff
erentwit
hher
.
Me:that
'sbecauseshe'
snotahoel
i
ket
her
est
ofy
ou.Nowgetoutofmycar .

Shesni f
fedandgotout ,shelookedatme
hopingIsai dwouldfeelbadandsayshe
shouldn'
tleav ebutIwasannoy edbyher
presenceatt hemoment .Iwenttomyuncl e
Ghost'shouse.Hi swif
eopenedt hedoorwhen
mycarpar kedinsi
dethelar
gey ard.Theyhad
guardsev erywhereandIneverunderstoodwhy.
Heisoneofthemostpowerf
ulgangst
ersi
n
CapeTown,Idoubtt
hey'
dtr
yanythi
ngonhis
ter
ri
tor
y.

Fi
fi
:I
'm sohappyy
oucamet
ovi
sit*
smi
l
es*

Fifi
isalwayshappynomatterwhathappens
sher emainswi
thasmil
eonherf ace,that
'swhy
Irespectheralot
,shedoesn'
tletsi
tuati
ons
tearherdown.

Me:
Imi
ssedt
hebestTanni
e(Aunt
)int
hewor
ld.

Iki
ssedhercheekandhuggedher.Sheledme
i
nsidethehouse,Ihav
en'
tbeeni
nabout2
weeks.Inevervi
sital
ott
hesedaysbecause
I'
vebeenbusy.
Me:
theol
dmani
sar
ound?
Fi
fi
:youknowhe'
sal
way
sinhi
smancav
e
*r
oll
seyes*
Me:
*laughs*i
t'
swher
ehi
speacei
sat
.

Shelaughedandsaid"mxm"Iwenttohisman
cave.Hewaswatchingoldboxi
ngfi
ghtsand
dri
nkingsomebeer.Isatdown,
andlookedat
thefi
ght.

Ghost
:ev
ery
thi
ngokay
?
Me:
yes.
Ghost
:thensmoko?(
What
'swr
ong?
)
Me:
I'
mjustv
isi
ti
ng.
Ghost
:*l
aughs*zi
medi
?(gi
rl
s?)
Me:
*laughs*y
oucoul
dsayt
hat
.
Ghost
:*l
aughs*wi
eisdi
espesi
alemei
sie?
(
whoi sthespeci
algir
l?)Younev
eraskmef
or
r
elat
ionshi
padv i
ce.
Me:I
'
m notaskingforadvi
ce.Mygekom hi
eri
s
t
ebesoek(Icamet ovi
sit
)andyouaskedme
whothespeci
algir
lis.
Ghost:wi
eisdiespesi
alemei
sie?(
whoi
sthe
speci
algi
rl
?)*smir
ks*
Me:syi
sni
emymei
sienog(
shei
snotmygi
rl
yet
)
Ghost:
Fif
iwill
behappy .Shewasgett
ing
worr
iedyouwer en'
tgoi
ngt ogi
veher
gr
andchil
dren.
Me:syistevorent
oe(shei
stoofor
ward)
*
laughs*Ithi
nkshehasali
ttl
eboyf
ri
endthough.
Ghost
:el
i
minat
ethepr
obl
em si
mpl
east
hat
.

Thentheboxi
ngf
ightgotheat
ed,
andhest
art
ed
gett
inghy
ped.
Ghost:you'
reaboutt or untheWestKaap
[
westerncape]wi ththebi gdogs.Don'thave
l
itt
leprobl
emsl ikethisiny ourper
sonalli
fethat
youcan'tfi
x.Itaughty ouhowt odealwitha
probl
em.Kr yjoumei sie(getyourgir
l)
Me:
I'
m oni
t.
Ghost
:that
'st
heRel
l
ikIknow.*
laughs*

BOOKERSMEETMULLER&KI
NG
[
02/
17,
11:
46]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER~
I
NSERT8
.
.
.
-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iknowy ou'repr obablythinkingwhydi dIr at
Lelonaout .
..wel lIwasnotgoi ngt ogetki l
ledby
Mul l
erf orLel ona, whomi ghtnotev endat e
Omar .She' l
l friendzonehi m, i
fmypr edictions
arer i
ght .I'l
lhav et obr
ingbackherdepr essi on
becauset here' snowayi nhel lI
'lll
ethert ake
Relli
kf rom me.Ev enifit
'sthel astthingIdo, I
willhav eRel l
ik.Lel onaist ooweakf orRel li
k,
she'llprobabl ycr yifhedoessomet hi
ngbadt o
heruni ntent ional ly.He'l
lneedar ealwomant o
under standt hatmenmakemi st akesandIcan
forgivehi m whenhebuy smyf orgivenesswi th
expensi v egi fts.Icanal r
eadyi magi nebei ng
respect edbyt hesebi tchesinCapeTown
becauset hey '
ll knowI'mt hemai n.Icanf inally
i
mpr ovemyf ami ly'
sli
feandst ophoei ngar ound
formoney .I'l
l justbeahoef oroneman.I
textedRel li
kt ocomet omyapar tment .
Me:
hey.Cany
oupl
easedr
opby
?Ineedt
otal
k
t
oyou.
Rel
l
ik :
whati
sitt
hatweneedt
otal
kabout
?
Me:
Ican'
tsayi
tov
ert
hephone.
Rel
l
ik :
wehav
enot
hingt
otal
kabout
.
Me:pl
easeit
'simpor
tant
.Iwoul
dn'
thav
e
t
ext
edifitwasn'
t.
Rel
l
ik :
I'
ll
bet
her
einanhour
.

~~
Ipacedupanddownt heapart
ment .Knowing
Rell
ikIknowhe' l
lber
udetome, soIdecidedto
rushtogett hepenisenl
argementpill
ssohe
won'tresistme.OnceIdruggedhi sdri
nkI
heardadoorknockr i
ghtaway.Ijumpedand
almostspi l
ledthedri
nk,t
hat'
showner vousI
was.Iqui cklywipedt
heli
ttl
edri
nkmessImade.
IfRell
i
kf oundoutaboutthishewoul dbevery
angrytoapoi ntwher
ehekill
sme.SoIhav eto
makesur e,thatIdon'
tmakei tobviousI
druggedhim.That '
swhyIdidn'taddt oomuch
ofthepil
l,heshouldjustt
hinkit'
shi shor
mones
andafterIfuckhim hewon'tresistmeandit
thatdoesn'twork.Lonawon'teverwanttofuck
myseconds.Ir ushedtothedoor ,Iwasnaked
underneaththegown.

Rel
l
ik:
whatdoy
ouwant
?
Me:pl
easesi
tdown.Doy
ouwantsomet
hingt
o
dr
ink
Rel
l
ik:
I'
m nother
efory
ourbul
l
shi
t,Kay
la-

Hi
swor dsgotshor
toncehesawIwasnaked.I
smi
rked.Hechuckl
edandshookhishead.I
smi
ledbecauseIgothi
m whereIwanthi
m.

Rell
i
k:y
ou'
dthi
nkI
'
m dumbenought
ofuckwi
th
you?
Me:
I..
.but
-
Rel
l
ik:
whosenty
ou?
Me:
what
?Noone,
I'
m notat
rai
tor
.

Inamatterofsecondshewasst r
angli
ngme.I
wasreal
lystruggl
i
ngtobreatheandhedi dnot
evencar
et hatIwasabouttodie.Therewasa
knockonthedoor,butt
hatdidn'tstophim

Lona:
Kay
la?Ar
eyout
her
e?

Ri
ghtnowIwasint
ears,hel
etgoofmyneck.I
br
eathedv
eryl
oudl
y,andIwassti
l
lcr
ying.

Lona:
Kay
laar
eyouokay
?What
'sgoi
ngon?
Rell
i
k:doeni
etssnaakseneksaljoudoodmaak
(dosomethi
ngfunny,andI
'
llki
l
lyou)
Herushedtomyroom, whil
eLonabangedon
thedoor
.Irant
oher,
shel ookedwor
riedonce
shesawthatIwascr
ying.

Me:
I'
m notr
eal
l
ygoodcompanyr
ightnow.
Lona:
arey
ouokay
?
Me:
yes.Lonapl
easej
ustgo!
Lona:
okay
.Weneedt
otal
klat
eront
hough.
Me:
yes.Nowgo!*
shout
ing*

Sheshookherheadl i
ghtl
yandlef t
.Ididn'
tev
en
feelbadforonebit.It
'snotmyf aul
tshe's
gull
i
ble.Herfamilyshould'
vetaughtherata
youngaget ostandupf orher
self.Itr
iedmaking
hertough,nowI'ml i
kefuckit
!

Rel
l
ik:
whatt
hef
uckwer
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
tel
l
inghert
ogo.
Rel
l
ik:don'
tyoueverspeaktoherli
kethatagai
n!
I
fIeverhearaboutyoudamaginghereven
more,Iwon'
thesit
ateki
ll
ingyounextt
ime.

Hehel
dmyf aceroughl
y,Iwhi
mper
edinpain.
Hepushedmeawaywi thsomuchfor
cethatI
f
ell
onthefl
oor.

Me:yout hi
nkshe'dgof oraguyl i
keyou!?
You'
recrazy!You'r
et oomuchforher .She
wantsthesimpleguy s,t
hesweetones.Not
gangster
swhogoar oundbeatingupwomen,
whoar ei
nvolvedinhumant raf
ficki
nganddr ug
deal
ing.You'r
eanev enbiggerfoolifyouthink
Mull
erandKi ngwilll
etyoudateher .She'
l
l never
goagainstherbrothers.Shewant sguysjust
l
ikeOmar -
Befor
eIcouldf
ini
shtalki
ng,heknockedmeout
wit
hahugepunchi nthefaceandeveryt
hing
wentblack.

-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-

Irushedtothehousebef oremybr otherscoul

d
bebackhome.Andl uckil
yt heyweren'
tback.
Wher ecouldtheybe?Iwat chedTV, becauseI
haven'tdonethatinalongt ime.At21:
00my
brothersarr
ived.Atl
easttheywer esafe!

Me:
aqui
ckt
extwoul
d'
vebeenni
ce.
Mul
l
er:
Isai
dnoTV.
Me:
Iwaswor
ri
edabouty
ouguy
s.
Ki
ng:
*laughs*r
eal
l
y?
Me:
yes!Ineededadi
str
act
ion.
Ki
ng:
okay
,we'
rebacknow.
Me:
wher
ewer
eyouguy
s?
Mul
l
er:
room.
Me:
youwer
einy
ourr
oom?
Mull
er:
*chuckl
essarcast
ical
l
y*uyahl
eki
say
azi
(
you'
rerealf
unny)gotoyourroom.

Ichuckledandstroll
edtomyr oom.Idi dn'
twant
tobet her
eanymor e.Itfeltl
ikepr i
son,andI
knewIwoul dbetoobor ed.Iwant edt ostudy
butIdidn'
tfeell
i
kest udying.Iforcedmy selft
o
study,andevent
uallytheinformat i
onstarted
getti
ngin.Aft
eranhour ,Iwast ir
edandIwent
tosleep.

~~

Thefol
lowingmorni
ngaf
terIwentt
othegy
m,I
wenttoschool
.Ther
eIdi
dn'tseeKayl
asoI
hadnof r
iends.Itwassoawkwar dsit
ti
ngal one,
thenIwassur pri
sedbyCardoandhisfri
ends
comingtositnexttome, Icl
osedmyey es,and
breat
hedslowl yt
opreventapanicat
tackfrom
thesepeopleIbarel
yevenknowsur r
ounding
me.

Cardo:
whydon'
tyouguysgo,
ndi
zoni
bamba
er
oundin(
I'
ll
seeyoul
ater
)
?
?:f
edef
ede(
shar
pshar
p)

Theyleft
,andItr
iedhandli
ngmybr eathi
ng,
whichdidn'
tworksoIhadt otakemypi l
l
sagain.
It
ookt hem t
hismorningbutIguessitwasn'
t
worki
ng.Ineedast r
ongerdosage.

Cardo:
hav eyoutr
iedspeaki
ngt
oat
her
api
st
aboutyourpani
cattacks?
Me:
I'
m notcr
azy
.
Car
do:
Ididn'
tsayyouwere,butdri
nki
ngpil
l
sso
manyt
imeswillmakeyouaddict
edandcrazy.
Me:
Car
do.
..
Car
do:
that
'snotwhyI
'
m her
ethough.

Il
ookedathimtoproceedtal
king.Heputhi
s
handsinhi
shoodieandchuckledshaki
nghi
s
headli
keapersonwhodoesn'tbeli
evewhat
he'
sabouttotel
lme.Thatmadememor e
curi
oustoknowwhatwasgoi ngon.

Car
do:
MrMay
bankt
hinksIcheat
edont
het
est
.
Me:
*chuckl
es*t
oldy
ouy
ou'
dpass
Car
do:hewantsmet
orewr
it
ethet
estj
ustf
or
hi
sassur
ance
Me:
isheal
l
owedt
odot
hat
?
Cardo:Idon'
tknowandIdon'
tcar
e.I
fit
'l
lj
ust
gethim of
fmyback.
Me:
wecangoov
ert
hest
uffagai
n.
Car
do:no.I
t'
syourl
unch,
youshoul
dtakea
br
eak.
Me:
dude,
Ireal
l
ydon'
tmi
nd.Comeon.

Itookoutmybooks, andhedi
dthesame.I
noti
cedhel ookedar
oundalotIguesshewas
embarrassedtobestudyi
ngathisluncht
ime?

Me: y
ouknowtheywon'
tgi
vey
oumar
ksnor
assurey
ourdegr
ee.
Car
do:
what
?
Me:youdon'twantt oappearasaner d.Butthe
peopl
ey oudon'twanttalki
ngabouty ouwon't
gi
veyouadegr ee,they'
ll
justt
alk.Theywon'tdo
anyt
hingbesidestalk.
Car
do:
okay
,let
'sdot
his.
~~
AfterIhel pedhi m,hef eltli
kehewasr eadyf or
thetest, andIagr eedwi thhi m.Al t
hought her e
wer estar es,hedidn'tpayanymi ndtot hem.He
thankedmeandt henhel ef
t ,
Iwentt omynext
class.Af tertheclassIwant edt ocall Omarso
badbecauseIwashav ingthisbadf eeli
ng,andI
hatetoadmi ti
t.Iwasmi ssinghi m.Ibumped
i
nt osomeone, Iquicklyapol ogizedpi ckingup
myt ex t
book.Ihear dfemi ninegiggles, l
ooking
upIsawwhoi twas.Khany i,ZikhonaandKay l
a
wer elooki ngatmel i
keIwassomet hing
disgusting.IwasshockedbyKay l
a'shuge
blackey e.

Me:
Kay
la!Ar
eyouokay
?
Kayl
a:ohpl
ease.Don'
tactl
i
key
oucar
e,t
hisi
s
yourf
aul
t.
Me:what?Myf aul
t?Di
dMullerdothi
s?I
'
m so
sor
ry.Idi
dn'
tknowhe'dbeatyou-
Kay
la:
justshutup!Andgett
hef
uckawayf
rom
me.UghInev erwantedtobefr
iendswit
hyou,I
j
ustfel
tsympat hyf
oryou.Youdecidedt
otake
i
tint
osomet hingmore.Getthefuckawayfr
om
me.I'
mt i
redofseeingyourf
atface.
Me:
Kay
la.
..
Kay
la:
goshher
eshegoes.She'
saboutt
obeg
metobeherf
ri
end.
Me:
I..
.youknowwhat
?Fucky
ou.

Iwalkedaway ,t
heyalll
aughedatmyanger .I
should'vel i
stentoeveryonebutt henagain, I
decidedt obef uckingnaiv eandl istentothat
hoe!Iwassopi ssedof f
, Ifeltapani catt
ack
resurfacingsoIt ookpil
lsagai n.May beIdo
needt ot alktosomeonebef oreIgetaddictedI
don'twantmyl i
fetober uinedbecauseofpi l
l
s
that,Ithink,arehelpi
ngme.Iwant edtocall
Omar , butIknewMul lerwoul dtrackmycal ls.
SoIwentt otownwhenIf oundapubl i
cphoneI
tri
edcal li
nghi m buti
trangst rai
ghtt ovoi
ce-
mail.Isi
ghedthentri
edagain,butnoluckagai
n.
Tryi
ngmyl astti
mewasabi thardbecauseI
wasscar edhewouldn'tpi
ckupandIneededt o
tal
kt ohi
m.Imi ssedhi
m.Lucki l
yhepickedup.

Omar
:hel
l
o?
Me:
Omar
!
Omar
:Lona?
Me:hey
,It
houghty
ouwer
en'
tnev
ergonnapi
ck
up.
Omar:Idon'
tusual
l
yanswerunknowncal
l
s.Ar
e
youokay?Di
dsomet hi
nghappen?
Me:
noIj
ustmi
ssedy
ou.
Omar :
damn,t
hat
'sthef
ir
stusuall
yI'
mtheone
missi
ngyouandyouwouldbeplayi
nghar
dto
get.
Me:*
chuckl
es*j
ustbecauseIdon'
ttel
lyouI
mi
ssyoudoesn'
tmeanIdon'tmissyou.
Omar:
*laughs*y
ouknowIwasli
steni
ngt
omy
fav
our
it
esongbef or
eyoucal
l
ed-
Me:
oh,
I'
m sor
ry!
Omar
:youdi
dn'
tl
etmef
ini
sh.
Me:
sor
ry,
goon.*
laughs*
Omar :
*laughs*thesongi
smyfav
our
it
e
becauseitremindsmeofyou.
Me:
*bl
ushes*what
'
sthenameoft
hesong?
Omar
:EdSheer
anPer
fect
.
Me:
butwewer
en'
tyoungwhenwef
ell
inl
ove.
Omar
:sowear
einl
ove.
Me:
you'
rewayt
oof
orwar
d.*
chuckl
es*
Omar
:andy
oul
ovemef
ori
t
Me:
Idi
dn'
tev
ensayIl
ovey
ou,
fool
.
Omar:"
butwewer
en'
tyoungwhenwef
ell
in
l
ove"
Hecopiedmyv oi
ce.Il
aughedoutl
oudpeopl
e
st
art
inglooki
ngatme.

Me:one.Idonottal
kli
kethat
.Two.I
'
minf
ront
ofpeopl
estop.*
giggl
es*
Omar:
lett
hem seeyouglow.Ishoul
dmakey ou
at-
shi
rtt
hatsays"
Omar'sgir
l"j
ustsotheycan
st
ayaway.
Me:
*laughs*I
'
dli
ket
hatt
-shi
rtv
erymuch.

Hestart
edspeaki
ngtosomeonei
nthe
backgr
ound,soIknewhewasbusy.

Me:
I'
ll
tryandcal
lyout
omor
row.
Omar
:okay
,by
ebaby
.
Me:
bye.
Omar
:by
ewho?*
chuckl
es*
me:
yourf
ri
endsar
ewai
ti
ngf
ory
ou.*
laughs*
Omar
:andI
'
m notl
eav
ingunt
ily
ousaybaby
.
Me:
I'
ll
justhangup.
Omar
:sor
udet
oyourbel
ovedboy
fri
end.
Me:
byebaby
.
Omar
:that
'sal
lIwant
edt
ohear
.

Hemadeki ssi
ngsoundsandthenwebot hhung
up.ThenIwenttothehospi
talIusual
lygoto.
ThereIaskedtospeaktoDoctorVane,Iwas
ver
yhappyshewasn'tbusy.

Doct
orVane:
Leona!
Me:
Lel
ona
Doct
orVane:
sor
ry*
laughs*
Me:howabouty
ouj
ustcal
lmeLonaf
rom now
on?*l
aughs*
Doct
orVane:
yes.Wehav
eanappoi
ntment
?
Me:no.ButIwouldl
i
kethenumbersf
orthe
ther
api
styourecommendedsoIcancont
act
her.

Shel
ookedv er
yhappyt
hatIwasact
ual
l
ygi
vi
ng
thet
her
apistopti
onachance.

DoctorVane:I
'l
lemailthem toyou.Donot
worry.I
'
m happyy ouhav edeci
dedtotakea
chancewithher,Ipr
omi seyouyouwon'tregr
et
i
t.

Ij
ustsmil
edather,
Ihopethiswor
ksbecauseI
needtost
opbeingdependantonmypi
ll
s

~~
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-

Iwal kedoutofDi neooutofmyhouseaf t

erwe
fuckedf orli
ke5hour s.Ihav esev eralhoesin
myl i
fe.Andpl entyofwomenj umpatt he
oppor tunitytobemybi t
ch.Idon' twanta
relati
onshi pbecausei t
'saweakness, t hat'
swhy
Ijusthav ehoes.Theyl ikethemoneyIgi v
et o
them, andIl i
ket hesext heygi v et
ome.ButI
hat eitwheni tgetsmessyandt hegir
lsst ar
t
dev elopingf eeli
ngs.That '
swhenIcutt hem off,
andI 'm planningoncut ti
ngDi neooff,she's
becomi ngt oocl i
ngyformyl iking.Ont heother
hand.Iwasst illpi
ssedof fKay l
awouldt ryto
hav esexwi thme, t
hatdirtybi tchhasbeen
fuckedbyev eryone.Iwasf eelingalit
tlehungry
soIor deredsomepi zza,whi ledebati
ngwi t
h
my sel fhowI 'm goingtoki l
l Omar .

Me:
sui
cide?
Nah.That'dbet ooobv i
ousi t
'splannedbecause
thatki
dtheper f
ectlif
e.Hewasadopt edby
whiteparentsatay oung, hewentt othemost
expensiv
epr i
vateschools.Al lhi
slif
ehehas
hadhis2whi tefri
endsandhi s3newbl ack
varsi
tyfr
iends.Iev enknowhi sschedul e.SoI
shouldmakei tacaracci dent?It
'smor e
beli
evabl
e, andifIbr i
beaf ewcops.Thecase
couldbet hrownaway .Idon'tevent hi
nkI'l
lbea
suspecttot hecase.Ical l
edScr appy .

Scr
appy
:pr
aat
.(Tal
k)
Me:
Ineedsomeonedead.Caracci
dent
,Iwant
acl
eanjob.

Itol
dScrappyt
herestofthedet
ail
sregar
ding
whatti
mehe'll
beont hestr
eet
,howthecar
acci
dentshoul
dbeplannedandwhatshould
t
hecausebe.
~~

Icheckedoutmy2cl ubsandbusi nesswas

goingwellasusual.Ther estaurantIownwas
alsodoinggreatsoIcoul dcleant hemoneyin
thesebusinesses.Thebusi nessesar ej
usta
frontsothepolicedoesn'tcatchont ome.My
phonev i
brateditwasat extfrom Scrappy.

SCRAPPY:
all
done.

Ismil
edthenpl
acedmyphonebacktomy
pocket
,andproceedl
ooki
ngatt
herest
aur
ant
'
s
fi
nancebooks.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Ifi
nall
yarriv
edathome,Mullerwasn'
ti
nthe
house.Kingwasinthehouse,hewasplayi
ng
withhi
sPl ayst
ati
on4anddrinki
ngadumpieof
BlackLabel.

Me:
brot
her
.
Ki
ng:
no.
Me:
whatdi
dIdo?
Ki
ng:
youwanty
ourphoneandIsai
dno.
Me:justf
oraf
ewmi
nut
es.Mul
l
erwon'
tknow
*
sighs*
Ki
ng:no.Youcouldspendall
thi
sti
mey ou'
re
wast
ingontal
king,watchi
ngmeplayPS4onTV,
whi
leyoucan.
Me:
buty
ou'
repl
ayi
ngsoccer
.
King:*
laughs*si
ncewhendi
dyoust
arthat
ing
soccer?
Me:sincemyf
avor
it
eteam becameat
eam of
l
osers.
Ki
ng:
Ifor
goty
ou'
reaPi
rat
esf
an*
chuckl
es*
Me:
was.Pastt
ense

Heignoredmeandgothy
pedwhenhescor
ed
agoal.

Me:
let
'spl
ayGr
andThef
tAut
o5i
nst
ead.
Ki
ng:
no,
I'
m busy
.Phol
a(chi
l
l)

Irol
ledmyey es,Iwat
chedhim pl
ayhi
sgame
andaf t
erawhilehegotannoyedbymesighi
ng
alotandplacedGTA5i nthePS4.Ismi
ledand
wepl ayedt
hegame.
~~
AtnightMul l
ercamebackIr anupstair
sto
makei tseem li
keIwasi nmyr oom,Ialmost
fel
landKi ngkeptlaughi
ngatme.Butmyt oe
hurtsobadi twashar df
ormet ol
augh.Il
imped
downst ai
rs,Ki
ngandMul lerl
aughedatme, t
hey
evenlaughedhar derwhenIwascr yi
ng.Then
theysawi twasser i
ousthentheyatt
endedto
myt oe.

Mul
l
er:
ubut
yhunani
?(Whatwer
eyoudoi
ng?
)
Me:
runni
ng.
Mull
er:
ifyouwould'
vef
oll
owedy
ourr
ulest
hen
t
hiswouldn'
thav
ehappened.
Me: can'
tthepunishmentst
op?Il
earnedmy
l
esson, I
'
llneverl
ieaboutmywhereabout
s.And
I
'm sureyouguy swil
lbehappyt
oknowKay la
i
sn'
tmyf r
iendanymore.

Theybot
hgothy
ped.Ij
ustl
ookedatt
hem
bei
nginsensi
ti
veaboutthei
ssue.Ij
ustl
ostmy
onl
yfr
iendandthey'
rehappyabouti
t.

Muller
:forthatsmar
tdeci
sion.I
'
mtaki
ngof
f
yourpunishment.
Me:
real
l
y?
Mull
er:yeah.Yourphoneisonmyt hel
eftsi
de
beddrawer.Theothert
hingsyou'
l
lgett
hem
tomorr
ow.

Irantohi
sroom,andtookmyphone.Fi
rstt
hing
IdidwastextOmar.

O :
gotmyphoneback

Hedidn'
trepl
y,may behe'
swit
hhisfr
iends.I
shoul
dn'
tcalli
t'
l
l betoomuch.Iwason
WhatsAppnow, andIsawKaylapost
edplenty
ofst atuses.Oneev ensai d" t
her e'
saKel ly
Khumal oinCapeTown ‍♀ "Ideci dedt o
i
gnor eherpet tydr ama.That 'sunt ilIsawher
postapi ctureofOmarwi ththecapt i
on." R.I.
P
Omar ,onlyt hegooddi ey oung.I 'l
l missy ou
babe "Idon' tknowwhatpi ssedmeof f
mor eherpl ay i
ngwi thdeat hl i
ket hatorher
calli
ngOmarbabel ikehecar esabouther .But
whatshepost edr eall
ybot her edmeIwentt o
hisFacebookaccount ,onhi st i
mel inether e
wer epeopl ewr iti
ngR. I
.Ppost s.Myhands
startedshaki ng, thiscannotbet rue.It alkedt o
Omarear l
ieron, hewasper fect l
yf i
ne.Thi s
cannotbet rue.Isawanot hergi rlcall
edSky l
ar
wrot eonhi stimel ine" howIwi shIdi dn'tinv i
te
youov erfort hepar ty .Thent heacci dent
woul dn'thav ehappened .I '
m sor ryOmar ,
farewel ldearf riend ".Ri ghtt henIscr eamed
asl oudcr iesi nstant lyleftmymout hwi thoutmy
cont rol
.Mybr other swer einmyr oom sof ast,I
balledmy selfupandcr ied.Omarmustbef ine,I
j
ustt
alkedt
ohi
m ear
li
er!

BOOKERSMEETCARDO
[
02/
17,
11:
49]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT9
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Icouldn'
tsleepthewhol enight,mybr other
s
tr
iedcomf orti
ngmeandi tdidn'
thelpatal l
.My
heartwasbr okenintoami l
lionpieces.Omar
wast heonlyguyIsawaf uturewith,heloved
meandIcoul dn'
tev ensay'Ilov
ey ou'tohim.I
didn'
tevensayapr opergoodby etohim.We
j
ustst
art
eddating!Heunder
stoodme,
henever
j
udgedmeandhewasal way
ssosweettome.
Howdidtheaccidentev
enhappen?

Mull
er:
Iknowthi
sispai
nful
,butIpr
omi
sey
ou.
I
zodl
ula(i
t'
ll
pass)

Idon'tknowwhy ,butthatmademeevenmore
angry.Howcoul dhespeakaboutOmar'
sdeath
l
ikeitwasn'tsomethingseri
ous!I
twast
ome,
thenitallcl
i
cked!

Me: you!
..
.youdi
dthis!y
oudi
dn'
twantust
o
date!Youpret
endedtobeokaywi
thi
tsoyou
couldkil
lhi
m!*cryi
ng*
Mul
ler
:that
'sbul
l
shi
t.AndI
'
m notgoi
ngt
oli
sten
t
oit
.
Hewal kedout
,andIf
oll
owedhiminangerwit
h
tear
sfalli
ngdownmyeyes.Ki
ngjustl
ookedat
us,notevensayi
ngaword

Me: hewast heonlyguyt

hatli
kedmef orme!
Henev eraskedforsomethi
nginreturn.He
wassweet ,l
oving,
funnyandeveryt
hingIever
want ed.Andy ouhadt orui
nthatf
orme!You're
oppressingmebecausey ouwantmet obea
chi
ld, I
'm 18!
Mull
er:hey!andi
y'
bodisangal
ebharuyakho.(
I
di
dn'
tkillyourf
ool)whywouldIli
eabout
somethingsostupid?
Me:sostupi
d!?Wow,
howf
ucki
ngi
nsensi
ti
ve
canyoube!

Ist
artedbeat
inghi
m up,
heseemedunfazedby
i
tthough,Ki
ngcameinbetweenus,
andjust
hel
dmyar ms.
Mull
er:
li
stentome!Iwoul
dnev
erdot
hatt
oyou.
Idi
dn'
tkil
lhi
m.

Helookedsincer
e.NowIfeltbadf
oreven
accusi
nghim.ButIst
il
lthi
nkhedidit
.

Me:
sor
ry.
Mul
l
er:
Iunder
stand.Howaboutyougosl
eep
f
orawhil
e?maybeyou'l
lwakeupokay
.

Inoddedandwentt omyr oom.Icoul dn'tsleep

though,IcheckedmyphoneandFacebook
becamet hefirstappIv i
sit
ed.Omar 'swal lwas
fi
ll
edwi t
hmor eR.I.
Pposts.Ididn'
twantt opost
becauseIdidn' twanttodot oomuch, andhav e
peoplequestioningmewhatwewer e,it
'l
ljust
breakmyhear tmor e.I
nourt i
met ogetherwe
neverreal
lytookpi ctur
es.Ifeell
ikepeopl ewi l
l
thi
nkIwasl y i
ngandI'
m doi
ngitf
orattent
ion.
SoIj uststalkedhiswal
landdi
dn'tcommenton
anything.Ireceiv
edacallfr
om anumberIdidn't
know.

?
?:hey
.
Me:
whoi
sthi
s?
?
?:noneedt
obehost
il
e*chuckl
es*
Me:
Xav
ier
?
Xav
ier
:yes?
Me:
whyar
eyoucal
l
ingme?
Xavi
er:Ihear
d,aboutwhathappenedandIj
ust
wantedtochecki
fyouwereokay .
Me:
that
'sni
ceofy
ou.
Xavier
:yeah,Iknowlosi
ngsomeoney oul
i
keis
tough.Andinthatmomentyoujustneeda
dist
ract
iontotakeyouawayfr
om thatpai
n.
Me:
yeah.Iguessso.
Xavier
:thi
sispr
obabl
ythefi
rstt
imey ou'
re
tal
ki
ngt omeandyou'
renotscared.
Me:
*chuckl
es*y
es
Xavi
er:
that
'sgood.Idon'
twantyoutobe
scar
edofme.I'm humanjustl
i
keyou.
Me:
wel
lst
opbei
ngscar
ythen.
Xav
ier
:how?*
chuckl
es*
Me:
trysmi
l
ingnextt
ime.Orbeni
cer
.
Xav
ier
:smi
l
ingandbei
ngni
ce?Naht
hat
'
snot
me
Me:Iknow,t
hat'
swhyI
'
m scar
edofy
ou.You'
ve
gott
hisscar
ylook.
Xavier
:peoplewil
lwalkall
ov ermeifI'
m smili
ng
al
lthetime,andI'
m beingnicetoeveryone.
Whenpeopl efearyou,
theyrespectyou.
Me:Idi
dn'
tsaysmi
l
etoev
ery
onej
ustaf
ew
peopl
e.
Xav
ier
:Idosmi
l
e.
Me:
li
ke2t
imesaday
.*l
aughs*
Xavi
er:
I'
m notachi
l
dren'
sshowwher
eIhav
eto
behappyal
lthet
ime.*chuckl
es*
Me: andyousti
l
lwantmenottobeafr
aidof
you.Iwonderwhati
twasl
ikegrowi
ngupwith
you* l
aughs*
Xavi
er:
yeahIwasabadki
d*l
aughs*Juv
iwas
l
ikemysecondhome.
Me:what?*
laughs*thestr
essy
oumust
'
ve
boughtt
oyourparents!
Xav
ier
:theydi
edbef
oreIwascor
rupt
..
.
Me:
oh.
.I'
m sosor
ry
Xav
ier
:noi
t'
sfi
ne.Igotov
eri
t.
Me:
yeahl
et'
snott
alkaboutdepr
essi
ngt
hings.

IwipedatearasIt
houghtaboutOmar
,Imiss
hi
m somuch.Hewoul dbecall
ingmeri
ghtnow
andprobabl
ysingPer
fectf
ormesincehesaid
i
twashi
sfav
our
it
esong.

Xav
ier
:I'
m sur
eyourchi
l
dhoodwascl
ean.
Me:
uh.
..Iwoul
dn'
tsayt
hat*
laughs*
Xav
ier
:whynot
?
Me:j
ustacomplicatedf ami
lyandverbalabuse
fr
om them t
henhigh-school
bully
ing.Justalot
ofst
uff.
Xavier
:yety
ousti
lll
ookncaa(ni
ce)andsmil
e
thr
oughallt
hefuckedupbul
lshi
tyouwent
thr
ough.
Me:
qingqi
ngqi
ng.Hi
scol
oredsi
decomesout
.
Xav
ier
:justbysay
ing"
ncaa"
?*l
aughs*
Me:
jamybr
oer(
yesmybr
other
)*l
aughs*

Helaughedatgenuinelonglaugh,usual
lyhe'
d
chuckl
eorjustl
aughlikealit
tl
elaugh.Butnow
hewaslaughingl
ikereall
ylaughing.Il
aughed
becausehi slaughwassocont agiousandwei rd
i
ft hat'
sunder st andable.Wecont inuedtal ki
ng
andt alking.Ifoundoutmor eabouthi m andhe
keptaski ngaboutme.Iwassl eepybutt he
conv ersationwasni ce,or"ncaa"ashewoul d
say .Iactuall
yf eltl
ikeIcoul dtalkt ohim andhe
woul dn'tjudgemebecauseheal way shashi s
owndar ksecr ets.Hedi dn'
tt el
l mehi sjob
exact l
yev enthoughIknowhe' sagangst er.He
didn'twantt ot ellmewhather eallydoes, soI
assumedheonl ysellsdrugs.
~~
Thenextmorni
ngIwokeup, andIwas
surpri
sedt
hathest
il
lhasn'
thungup!If
eltbad
becauseImust'
vef
ellasl
eepwhenhewas
tal
king.

me:
Xav
ier
?
Hedi
dn'
trepl
y.

Me:
Xav
ier
!

Ihear
dhi
m chuckl
e.Ir
oll
edmyeyes.Ofcour
se
hewasnotasl
eephejustwant
edtohearme
shout
.

Xav
ier
:I'
m up,
Lona.
Me:
yourai
rt
imemustbel
ow.
Xav
ier
:tr
ustme,
it'
sthel
astt
hingIwor
ryabout
.
Me:
wel
lIhav
etogot
othegy
m.By
e.
Xav
ier
:shar
p.
Me:
thati
snotapr
opergoodby
e.*
laughs*
Xav
ier
:it
'showIsayi
t.
Me:
wel
lImi
ghtj
ustcal
lyouRel
l
ikt
hen-
Xav
ier
:Lel
ona.
Hedoesn' twantmecalli
nghim Rell
i
kIst i
l
ldon'
t
knowwhy .Hesaidi
tlastni
ghtinthemi stofme
askinghim howhegott henameRel l
ik.He
didn'
twantt otel
lme,andhedoesn'twantme
tocallhim Rel
l
ik.Hewantsmet ocallhim Zay
butI'm notdoi
ngthatsoI'
llcal
lhi
m Xav ier.

Me:
saygoodby
epr
oper
ly*
laughs*
Xavi
er:
soy ou'
regoi
ngt
ofor
cemet
osay
goodbye?
Me:
yes!
Xavi
er:well
youaretheonethati
sgoi
ngt
obe
l
ateforthegym andcl
asses.Notme
me:
ugh*
rol
l
sey
es*
Xav
ier
:*l
aughs*by
e.
Me:
final
l
y!*
chuckl
es*by
e.
Ihungupthephone.Ir ushedmymor ning
routi
neandheadedt othegy m.Ikeptt hinking
aboutOmar,howsuddenhi sdeat his.Just
whenIwasr ecei
vingpurehappi ness.I tgets
takenawayfrom me.Iam gr at
ef ulforXav i
er
though,
hereall
ywasagr eatdistracti
onf orme.
Otherwi
seIwouldn'thavesleptandIwoul d
havebeendepressedthewhol eni ght,even
thoughIonl
ysleptat3am t al
ki
ngt oXav i
er.
~~
Aftert
hegy m,Iwalkedbackhome.Ont hewayI
thoughtaboutKayla.Shecal ledmeKel ly
Khumal oonherstatus.Iwi llneverunderstand
howaper soncant urntheirbackony ouaf t
er
youhav egi
venthem y ourall.Ireal
lydon't
.
Takingsomeonef oradv antagebecauset hey
careforyouisreall
yspiteful.AndIhopekar ma
getsherbad.Forallthetimesshehasv erball
y
abusedmeandbl amedi tont heal
cohol,and
forall
theti
messhebel i
ttl
edmyanxi etyattacks.
Ki
ng:
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
obel
atef
orcl
ass.
Ki
ng:
sitdown.

Isighedandsatdown.Helookedatme,
andI
didn'
treal
lywantt
ohavethistal
k.

Ki
ng:
Ihear
dyoul
aughi
ngatmi
dni
ght
.
Me:
Iwasont
hephone.
Ki
ng:
you'
recool
wit
hKay
laagai
n?
Me:
no,
uh..
.itwasCar
do.

I
twast hequickestnamet hatcameinmind
becausenowayi nhellam Igoingt
otel
lthem
thei
r"gang"boss,well
almostbosswashel pi
ng
medeal withOmar '
sdeath.IknowaboutXavi
er
bei
ngsecond-
in-
commandt
hroughCar
do.

Ki
ng:
Car
do?
Me:yes.Hewasbei
ngagreatf
riendandwas
t
ryi
ngtoconsol
emelastni
ght.
Ki
ng:
you'
ref
ri
endswi
thCar
do?
Me:wel
lsi
nceKayl
adi
tchedme,
he'
sbeen
hav
ingmyback.
Ki
ng:
whathappened?
Me:no!Nothinghappened...i
t'
sjustthat
,Iwas
al
oneduringabr eakbef
oremycl assanditj
ust
sohappenedhehadabr eaktoosoweat e
l
unchtogetherwhilei
thelpedhim withtheone
moduleheisstruggli
ngwith.
Ki
ng:
okay
.
Me:
Ihav
etogo.
King:
I'
m goi
ngt
odropyouof
f.Wewon'
tbe
herewhenyour
etur
n.
Me:
why
?
Ki
ng:dadhasfal
l
ensi
cksowe'
regoi
ngt
osee
what
'swrong.
Me:
Iwantt
ogo!
Ki
ng:no.You'
rest
il
li
nschool
.We'
l
lgi
vey
ou
moredetai
lswhenweret
urn.
Me:sounf ai
r.*
cry
ing*Whydopeopl
eIcar
e
aboutkeep-
Ki
ng:
hey
!St
opt
hat
.

HehuggedmeasIcr iedhard.MaybeKaylais
r
ight.Iam Kel
lyKhumalo.Ever
yoneIam close
t
oIbr i
ngbadluck.
~~
-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-

Idi
dn'tf
eell
i
keatt
endi
ngcl
assestoday,
soI
di
dn't
.Istay
edinmyapar
tment,r
ightwhen
Patr
icklef
tImademy selff
oodandate.Iguess
I'
l
lwat chmovi
esallday,myphonebeepedsoI
checkedthemessage.ItwasKhany
i.

Khanyi :humptydumptyj
ustar
ri
vedi
n
thecampuswi
thherhotbrot
her
Me:
Idon'
tgi
veaf
uckaboutt
hatbi
tch.
Khanyi :y
oushoul
dsinceshe'
sgonna
beyourti
ckett
ogett
ingRel
li
k.
Me:hedoesn'
tev
enwantmei
nhi
sbed.
Remember?
Khany
i :
that
'swhatmut
hii
sfor
,idi
ot!
Me:whatno!I'
m scaredoft hosethingsandI
don'
tbel
ieveinthem.Ihav etofindanotherway
.
Ther
e'sapartyathiscl
ubt onight.I'
ll
pay
someonetoputsomet hinginhisdr i
nkthen,
whenhe'
llbedrowsy .I
'l
ltakehimt omy
apar
tment.Thenwecoul ddoi tallni
ght.
Khany
i :
Ihav
eabet
teri
dea.
Me:
thati
s?
Khanyi :I'
l
lletyouknowwhenwemeet
forl
unch.Andy
ou'regoingt
olov
eit.

Ij
ustl
aughed,Khanyialwayshasthecrazi
est
i
deas.Ican'
twaitforlunchtoheart
hisplan
shehasforme.
~~
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-

Car
do:
soy
ou'
rehomeal
one?
Me:
yes.*
sighs*
Car
do:
howaboutwegot
othecl
ub?
Me:
no!

Wewereinmyhome,mybrotherswereal
ready
gone.AndI
'
m guessi
ngBobbyisbusybecause
hei
sn'
ther
e.

Cardo:comeon.Ify
ou'r
ehereal
oneyou'
l
lget
depressedt
hinki
ngabouty
ourdeadguy.
Me:
assoon12am hi
ts,
I'
m goi
nghome.
Car
do:
that
'swhent
hef
unbegi
ns!*
laughs*
Me:
Idon'
tcar
e.*
laughs*
Car
do:
okay
.I'
l
lcomebyt
ogety
ouat8pm.
Me:
cool
wit
hme.Ij
usthav
etof
indanout
fi
t.
Car
do:
nosweat
s.

Heshookhi
sheadinadramaticway.Il
aughed,
hel
ovesdi
ssingmycl
othes.Yethe'
sweari
ng
Ameri
canfl
agsli
ket
hat'
snormal.

Me:don'
ttal
ktomeaboutcl
otheswheny
ou'
re
st
il
lwear
ingfl
ags.
Car
do:
ohhhh!*
laughs*
~~
Iwor emyl ongsleev et urt
leneckdar kpeach
dresst hatwasn'tt ooshor tnortool ong.I t
showedof fmyasst hough.Idon' tev enknow
whyIboughti t,i
tl ookedcut ei nthest orebutI
didn'tknowi twasabi tti
ght.Iwor emybl ack
heel s,sinceear l
ieronIt ookoutmybr aids,and
washedmyhai r.It i
edmyhai rinat ight
ballerinabun.Idi dn' twantt oappl ymakeup
becauseI '
m notusedt omakeup.Ihear dthe
housephoner i
ng.Ir usheddownst ai
r sandl et
Car doi n.Idon'tthi nkI'
llneedapur sebecauseI
don' twantt oatt
ractt hieves.It'
sbadenoughI '
m
al
r eadygoi ngtot hecl ubwi thagangst er.I
openedt hedoor, andCar dowasst il
l i
nhiscar .
Hewhi stl
edwhenIgoti nthecar .

Me:
don'
tst
art
.
Car
do:
howdon'
tyouseehowhoty
ouar
e!?
Damn.
Me:
*rol
l
sey
es*don'
tst
artpl
ease.
Cardo:I'
mjustpl
ayi
ng.*
laughs*buty
oudol
ook
beauti
ful
.
Me:
thanky
ou.

Heclearedhi
sthroat
,Iknowhewantedmet
o
complimenthi
m back.Il
aughedathi
s
crazi
ness.

Me:
youl
ookokay
.
Cardo:
I'
m goi
ngt
ohav
ethel
adi
escr
ying
toni
ght
!*smir
ks*
me:
I'
mjusthappyy
ou'
renotwear
ingf
lags.
Car
do:
Iknowal
lcol
orssui
tme.
Me:keeptel
li
ngy
our
sel
fthat
.Itmi
ghtcome
t
rue.*shr
ugs*
~~
Atfir
stIwasnervous,
butCardoboughtmea
gl
assofcocktai
l.Hesaidthey'l
lcal
m medown.
Ionlydr
ankabitbecauseIdidn'
twanttoget
drunk.Itt
ast
edgoodt hough.

Car
do:
let
'sgo.
Me:
wher
e?*
conf
used*
Cardo:
VIP*l
aughs*st
opact
ingwei
rdI
'
m not
tr
yingt
ofuckyou.

Iwasshockedathowbl unt(honest)hei
s.He
l
aughedatmyf acial
expressionthenwewalked
totheVIPsecti
on.Hedappedev er
yoneandI
wasshockedt oseeXav ierhere.Hewas
wearingablackt-shi
rt,andblackpantsand
blacksneaker
s.Thenhi sblackcapwas
backwards.
Car
do:
Lona,
meett
hegent
s.

Ijustwaved,Xavi
er'
sstarewasscari
ngmesoI
l
ookedaway .Idr
ankmycocktai
l,Icoul
dsee
thatitwasfini
shi
ngup.Ineedanotherone.I
sli
ghtlypul
ledCardotothesi
de.

Me:
Iwantt
ogohomenow.
Car
do:
wej
ustgother
e.
Me:
andIf
eel
uncomf
ort
abl
e.
Car
do:
okay
,I'
l
ltakey
ouhome-
Xav
ier
:sysal
bly
.(shewi
l
lst
ay.
)

Cardolookedatme, Il
ookeddown.Thi sclub
envi
ronmentwasuncomf ort
abl
ef orme.Cardo
noddedatXavierandhel ef
tmet here.Af
ter
Cardowasabi tfar
,Xaviersmil
ed.
Xav
ier
:am Ist
il
lscar
y?
Me:
noti
fyou'
resmi
l
ing.*
chuckl
es*
Xav
ier
:whydoy
ouwantt
ogo?
Me:
Idon'
tknowany
oneher
eandi
t'
sawkwar
d.
Xavi
er:
youknowme,
theowneroft
hecl
ub,
so
youwil
lhav
efun.
Me:
owner
,huh?*
smi
l
es*
Xav
ier
:yeah.Not
hingmaj
or.

Il
aughedathim beingcocky,het ookmyhand
andwalkedwi t
hmet ohisfri
ends.Therewasn't
aspaceformet osit,
itgotmor eawkwardfor
meandIl ookedaround.Xavierpull
edmet ohi
s
l
ap.Iwasshocked, mybreathinggotshor
t.But
noonecouldseeIwasst rugglingtobr
eathe.

Xav
ier
:rel
ax.I
'
m notgoi
ngt
otr
yany
thi
ng.
Hewhi speredinmyear .Whenhedi dthat,
Ifel
t
somet hingweirdinsideofme.Am Ijustli
ke
Kayla?Whyam Ii nanotherman'
slapwhenmy
boyfri
enddi edlastnight?Gui
ltwaseatingme
al
ive.Xav i
erlookedatmeandwi nked.Igave
hi
m aweaksmi le.HegrinnedandIendedup
chuckling.

-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-

Iwasv er
yangr yatt
hatbi
tch!Whatahoeshei
s!
Ithasn'
tevenbeenaweekOmardi edandshe'
s
alr
eadyinRell
ik'sl
ap.

Khanyi
:howar
eyougoingt
odothatpl
anwi
th
herher
e?He'
scaughtupwi
thher
.
Me: I
'l
lfi
ndaway.She'
stooeasytomanipul
ate.
I'
l
ljustmakehercr
y,andrunawaytoherhome.
Iknowhehatesweakpeoplesohewon'trun
aft
erher
.He'
l
lgetf
rust
rat
edsoon.Tr
ustme.I
knowhim

Khany i
'splanwasv erygood.Shesai dIcould
makesur ehecumst hent akehi
scum t othis
otherferti
lecli
nic,sheknowspeopl ether
e.
Thent hey'l
lgetmepr egnantwit
hhi schil
d.That
way ,we'l
lalwaysbest ucktoget
her.AndIwon' t
tel
laboutt hepregnancyunt i
laf
ter5mont hs
whenhecan' tforcemet oabort
.LikeIsaid,
there'
snowayi nhel l
I'mletti
ngthatfatbit
ch
takeRel l
i
kawayf rom me.

Khany
i:she'
sgoi
ngt
othet
oil
et!Let
'
sgo.
Me:
chommiey
ouhav
etot
alk.She'
l
lrecogni
se
myvoi
ce.
Khany
i:what
'st
hepr
obl
em wi
tht
hat
?
Me:i
ncasethi
sdoesn'
twork.AndI
'l
lhav
etogo
askf
or"for
giv
eness"t
hiswon'
tbeaddedtot
he
l
i
st.
Khany
i:whywoul
dyouaskf
orf
orgi
veness?

Wewal kedtothetoi
l
ets,onthewomenside.
Thereweren'tal
otofpeoplether
e,pr
obabl
yli
ke
3then4t henLel
ona.

Me:
togetRel
l
ikt
hroughher
.
Khany
i:smar
tmov
e.

Ifakedasmil
e.Icoul
dn'ttel
lKhany
ithatRell
i
k
saidhe'
l
lki
llmeifshecriesagai
nbecauseof
me.Khanyiwould'
vebackedoutoftheplan.We
walkedi
nsi
de.

Khanyi:Ial
waysknownshewasahoe.I thasn'
t
evenbeenaweeky etandshe'
sal
readyon
anotherguy'
slap.Adisgr
aceshame!
Ij
ustlaughedsil
ently.Theothergi rl
sinthe
bathr
oom laughedoutl oud.Butt heydidn'
teven
knowwhowewer etalkingabout,Khany i'
s
dramaticacti
onsmadet hem laugh.Iwentt o
oneoft hebathr
oom st all
ssot hatwhenshe
comesoutshedoesn' tseeme.Butt oKhanyiI
madei tseem asifIwant edtopee.

Khany i:Iwoul dn'

tbesurpri
sedi fshehas
alreadysl eptwithhim.Rhaal amant ombazana
(ewwt hesegi rl
s)poorOmar ,hewasagood
guy .Hedi dn'tdeservet
heembar rassmentfr
om
thatfathoe.Wakhewambonaumnt u
abey i
'hagukodwauhambaazonay akwezi
bhedi
zabant u.Thixoel ov
umba* laughs*( Haveyou
everseenaper sonwho'sapi gbutgoesar ound
sleepingi notherpeople'
sbeds.Jesust hat
smel l
)It hinkthepigishere.
Theyalll
aughed.Ihear
danot
herbathr
oom st
all
open,i
tgotquietthent
heyal
ll
aughedagai
n.I
keptmylaughsin.

Khanyi
:iy
abal
ekale'
bitch.I
zoyekauthanda
amadodawabantu( thi
sbitchisrunni
ngaway
.
She'
ll
stoplov
ingotherpeople'
smen)

Il
aughedandwal
kedout
.Igav
eKhany
iahi
gh-
fi
ve.

Me:
chommi
e!

Wewal kedoutsmil
i
ng.Icheckedt
heVI P
secti
on,shewasn'
tther
e.MaybeRell
i
kwentt o
checkclubmanagementbecausehealso
wasn'tt
here.Awmyf utur
ebaeissobusiness
ori
entat
ed.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-

Lonawascr y
ingwalki
ngoutoft
heclub,andI
chasedaft
erher.It
ri
edholdi
ngherhandbut
shepull
editawayroughl
y.

Lona:
leav
emeal
one!
Me:
tel
lmewhathappened?What
'sgoi
ngon?
Lona:j
ustleav
emealone!Del
etemynumber!I
neverwanttoseey
ouortalkt
oy ouagai
n.

NowIwasv eryangry.Whatthef
uckdidIdo?I
swearifKay
lahassomet hi
ngtodowi t
hthi
s.
I'
m ki
l
li
ngherwithoutasecondthought.

Lona:mebei
ngcal
ledahoejustbecauseIsat
onyourl
apisnott
heatt
ent
ionIwantf r
om
peopl
e.Pl
easej
ustst
ayawayf
rom me.

Shegotinsideacar , Idi
dn'
tevenknowwas
parkedforherIthinki twasanUbercar.Il
ether
gososhecanr ecollecthersel
f.I'
ll
cal
lherl
ater
tocheckonher .RightnowIgot t
adealwit
hwho
thefuckdisrespectedmebymaki ngmybaby
cry.

BOOKERSMEETKAYLA
[
02/
17,
11:
51]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT10
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
Istormedt owar dstheVI Psect ion.Itoldoneof
mygent sI'
llbeback.Qui cklyIwentt othegi rl
s
sideoft hetoil
etsandt here'swasn'tanyonei n
sight.Frustr
ated,Islappedt hewal lhar
d.
Checki ngtheclubIdi dn'tseeKay laatall.So
thatledmet obelieveitwasn' therbecauseI
didn'
tseeheratt heclubt oday .I'
m morepi ssed
atmy sel
fthatwedon' thav ecamer asinthe
toil
ets.Ineedt otalktosecur i
tytoorganisethat
quickly.

Car
do:
waari
ssy
?(Wher
eisshe?
)
Me:
syhethui
stoegegaan.(
shewenthome)
Car
do:
shecameher
ewi
thme.
Me:
Uber
.

Henoddedanddidn'
taskanymor
equesti
ons
becausehecoul
dalr
eadyseeIwasannoyed
andangryatt
hesamet i
me.
Car
do:
I'
ll
cal
lhert
ocheck-
Me:no.I'
l
lcal
lher
,andIswearI
'
llf
indoutwho
di
dthis.
Car
do:
whathappened?
Me: someonemust 'vesaidsomet
hingt
oher,
sheleftherecr
ying.AndwhenIf i
ndoutwho
theyare.They'
l
lregretevermessi
ngwithme.

Cardonoddedandl eftmealone.Iwentback
home.Tocal m my selfdown,Ismokedweed.
Aft
eritkickedin,Ical
ledLona.Shedidn'
t
answerthef i
rstti
me.Icalledheragai
n,she
di
dn'tanswer.Igotupandt ookmykey s.I
fshe
won'tanswert henI'
ll
got oherhousetotal
kt o
her.Itr
iedheronel astti
me.Sheanswer edthe
phonesni f
fi
ng.

Lona:
what
?
Me:
whathappened?
Lona:
Rel
l
ik-
Me:
don'
t.*
angr
y*
Lona:pl
easeXavier
,Idon'twanttotal
kabouti
t.
I'
mjustupsetandI'
m goingtosleep.
Me: soyou'
regoingtosl
eepupset
?Youthink
I
'm goingtoletyousl
eepupset
?Jyismaal.
(Youarecrazy).Nowtel
lmewhathappened
beforeIar
riv
eandf or
ceyoutotel
lme.
Lona:
*si
ghs*Khany
ihappened.
Me:
who'
sthat
?
Lona:
Kay
la'
sfr
iend.
Me:
IknewKay
lahassomet
hingt
odowi
tht
his!
Lona:
shewasn'tther
e.Idi dn'
tseeher.Ionl
y
sawKay l
aandsomeot hergirl
sIdidn'
tknow.
Khanyial
wayshatedmeIj ustdidn'
tknowthat
muchtoembarrassmei npublic.
Me:
I'
ll
handl
eit
.
Lona:
don'
t.Please,
Ijustwantittomeov er
anddonewit
h.AndIdon' twantpeopl
ecalli
ng
meahoeagainwheny oufightmybat
tlesfor
me.
Me:you'
renotahoe.I
t'
sokaytoletl
oose
someti
mes.Lifei
sn'
taboutbei
ngperfectal
l
thet
ime.Yourimperf
ect
ionsar
eperfect.
Lona:
thanky
ou.
Me:
it'
scool
.
Lona:noI
'
m seri
ous.Aft
erOmar'
sdeat
hyou
cal
ledmeandreall
ycheeredmeup.You'
renot
sobadasIthoughtyouwere.
~~
Afterhour sofusspeaki ngonthephone,she
fel
l asleepagain.Ilovedheari
nghersleep.And
I'
m gl adIcouldmakeherhappywhenshe' s
reallydown.Thi sgirl
isreal
lysomethi
ngspecial
.
From t hemomentIsawheri nherhome's
kit
chen.Shehadt hepeacefulyetbr
okenspiri
t,
i
tjustat tractedme.Ev eryonelookedather
weirdlyf orwear i
ngsweat stoapar tybutit
showedmehowbeaut if
ul agir
lcanbeev enin
hernat ural for
m.Istil
l don'tunderstandwhy
shef eelsi nsecur
ewhenshe' sthemost
beaut i
ful humanbei ngIhav eeverlaideyeson.
I'
m nott heemot i
onal norr omantictypebutthis
gir
lIwanti nmylif
e.AndI '
m goingt ogether
becauseIam Rel l
ik,
Killersomemaycal lme
andIal way sgetwhatIwant ,wit
hno
hesitati
ons.Thi stimeIdeci dedtohangupi n
thecall becauseIwant edt ocallKurttogetme
i
nfoont hi sKhanyi.

Kur
t:Rel
l
ik
Me:getmeinf
ormat
iononKhany
i.She'
sfr
iends
wi
thKayla.
Kur
t:t
hehoeKay
la?She'
sfucki
ngwi
thScr
appy
?
Me:
bingo.IwantKhany
i'
sdet
ail
sbyt
omor
row
mor
ning
Kur
t:t
hat
'sashor
tnot
icei
t'
sst
il
l2am.
Me:
Iwasn'taski
ngyouKur
t.Tomorr
ow
mor
ning,
don'tmakemehuntfort
hesedet
ail
s.
Kur
t:y
es,
boss.
Me:
goodman.
~~

-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-

Iwokeupandr ushedmymor ningrouti

ne.
YesterdayIsleptatabout2am talki
ngtoXavi
er.
He'sreall
yagoodl i
stener
.Il
ikethatinhi
m.
He'sagr eatf
riend.Especial
lysinceIneed
fri
endsinmyl i
fenow.Goingt othegymI
recei
vedat extf r
om mybr ot
her,Mull
er

Mull
er :dad'sokay.We'
l
lbebackin3
day
s.Bobbywentoutoft
own,soyou'
reonyour
ownf
oraf
ewday
s.Wi
l
lyoubeokaywi
tht
hat
?
Me:
yes.Ineedt
het
imeal
oneany
way
.
Mul
l
er :
don'
tdoany
thi
ngcr
azy
.
Me:
Iwon'
t.Ipr
omi
se
Mull
er :
okay
.I'
l
lsendy
ousomemoney
.
Lov
ey ou.
Me:
thanks.Lov
eyout
oo

Iwalkedtothegy m andaft
ert
he3hour s.I
walkedbackhome.Ihadnocl assestoday
si
ncei twasSaturday.SoIj
ustst
udiedforan
whil
et henwatchedsomeTV.TVal sogot
bor
ingandIplay edGTA5ont hePS4.

~~

Af
ter2hours.Icoul
dn'
tevenconcent
rat
eatall
,
al
lIkeptt
hinki
ngaboutwasOmar .AndKhany
i
callingmeahoe.Idon' tevendeser vethest uff
happeni ngt ome.Icoul dn'tenjoymyhi gh-
school l
ifenowIcan' tenjoymyv arsityl
ife?
May beIshoul dn' tenjoyl i
featal l.May bei fI
talkedt oOmarmor eal otthatday ,wewoul d've
hungoutandmay behewoul dn'thav ediedt hat
day .GoshhowImi sshi ssweetwor ds.He
alway sknewhowt omakemehappy .Ican't
beart hepai nofknowi ngt hatI '
m nev ergoi ngt o
seehi m agai n.Isear chedar oundt hehousef or
blades.Icoul dn' tf i
ndanyandt hatpi ssedme
off.Icheckedf orkni vesther ewasn' tany ,ev en
i
nt hecabi net s.Iwasupsetmybr others
remov edev erythingt hatwoul dbehar mful to
myl if
e.Icheckedt hegar agef orar opeandi t
wasn' tther e!Iscr eamedangr ythatt heywoul d
deci dedt ohi deal lharmf ulthings.Ishoul dbe
grat efulbutr ightnowIwasangr y,hurtand
annoy edwi thmyl ife.SoIj ustcr i
edandcr i
ed
unt ilt
herewer en'ttear sany mor e.Omarr eally
meantt hatmucht ome.Icheckedmyemai l
st o
passbyt i
mebef oreIhav etheneedt okill
my selfagain.IsawDrVane' semai l
.Shehad
giv
enmet hecontactsoft het her
apistsoIwi l
l
contacthernow.Isetupanappoi ntmentwi t
h
her,andshesai dshecoul dseemet odayat
4pm.I twasnow3pm soIpr eparedmyout fi
t,i
t
wasmi l
itarybl
ue,blackandwhi tepri
nt edpants
andj acketwithawhi tetankt opunder neathit
.I
wor ewhi tesneaker
sandl etmyhai rloose.
ThenIwentout ,IarrangedanUbersi nceitwas
far
.
~~
Iwas20mi nut
esearlyandshewasst i
llbusy
wit
hanot hercli
entsoIwast edmyt imeon
WhatsApp.Looki ngatst atues,IsawKay lawas
onthebeachwi thanot hermanIdi dn'tknow.
Shelookedbeaut i
ful
t hough.Herbodywas
amazing,sheislucky.I'
m ev ensurprisedshe
di
dn'tbl
ockmef rom seeingherst atues.Int he
mistofcheckingstatuesIsawXav i
er'spicture
i
twasapi ct
ureofhim shi r
tlessinhiscar .His
bottom l
i
pwasinhi
smouthandIwon'
tl
iehe
l
ookedgood.SoIcommentedont
hepostasa
fr
iend.

Me: ‍♀ awusabasel
eki(
you'
rebei
ngcocky
)
Xav
ier :
byt
aki
ngapi
ctur
eshi
rt
less?
Me: y
es! t ryt
akingapictur
ewit
hafunny
f
ace, andwearat-
shir
t.Nobodywant
stosee
yourtatt
oos ‍♀
Xavi
er :fory
out
ocommenti
tmeanty
oul
i
ked
whatyousaw.
Me:
what
ever
.Ihav
etogo.By
e
Xav
ier :
youcan'
tev
endenyi
tlol
.

Ibluet
ickedhi
m andhetextedmeagai
n.Bef
ore
Icouldturnof
fmyphoneImadeadecisiont
o
replyt
ohi sWhat
sApptext.
Xav
ier :
wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Me:t
her
apysessi
onwithmynewt her
api
stDr
Zwi
de.I
'
llbeouti
naboutanhour
.
Xav
ier
:
Me: Ibel
i
evewet
alkedaboutt
hisgoodby
e
t
hingy
Xav
ier :l
olby
e

Idi
dn'
trepl
yIj
ustsmi
l
edati
t.Thenswi
tched
myphoneoff.

DrZwi
de:
MissDani
elI
'
mreadyf
ory
ou.
Me:
hel
l
o.

Wewal kedt
oherof f
ice,ithadahomeI nt
eri
or
decor
.Itwasreall
ycute,DrZwidehadthat
motherl
ylov
ehug.If el
titwhenshehuggedme,
i
tmademef eelsaf
e.
DrZwide:
goodaft
ernoon.I'
m sorryifyoufeel
uncomfor
tabl
ewit
ht hehug.Igiv
et hem outto
al
lmychil
drensotheyknowt hey'
renotalone.
Me:
chi
l
dren?
DrZwide:Idon'
tcal
lthem cl
i
ent
s.I
tmakesi
tas
i
fIdon'tcar
eaboutthem.
Me:
oh.
DrZwi
de:
solet'
sstartf
rom t
hebegi
nni
ng.Let
meknowaboutyoursel
fandhowyouendedup
her
e.
Me: wel
l,uh..
.Iam Lel
onaDaniel
,andIam 18.I
haveanxietyat
tacksduetobei
ngbulli
edat
schoolandbymyownf amil
y.AndIam her
e
now.
DrZwi
de:
minddef
ini
ngt
hebul
l
yingt
ome?
Me:no..
.uhm, wel
lmyfamilywoul
dcallmefat
,
ugl
y,andafreakbecauseIhadnofri
endsandI
wasalwaysstudyi
ngbecauseIwantedbet
ter
result
s.Atsomepoi ntItriedtokil
l myself.But
atschool i
twaswor se.Iwasal mostr aped
twice.Fi
rstbygir
lsthenbyguy s.Av i
deoofme
nakedsur f
acedaroundt heschool .Iwas
stri
ppedandhumi li
atedlikehav i
ngnof ri
endsis
acr i
meandbei ngani nt
rov er
tissomet hingbad.
~~
Afterthesessi onwhi chwasanhourwi thDr
ZwideIwasf eel
ingv er
ydown.Rel ivi
ngal l
those
memor i
eswasj usttoomuchf orme.Myey es
wer eredfrom al lt
hecryingIwasdoi ngt here.
Shegav emeadi arytowr i
tehowmyday sgo
andmyf eelings.Shewasv er
ykindandpat ient
,
shegav emeherper sonalnumbert ocallher
anytimeIwantt owhenIf eel
suicidalormy
feeli
ngsgett hebestofme.Iswi t
chedonmy
phonet oor ganiseanUberbutIhadat extfrom
Xav i
er.

Xav
ier :
I'
ll
bewai
ti
ngout
sidef
ory
ou.
Iwasconfusedwhichout sidehemeant .Maybe
atmyhouse?Orsomewher eel
se.May beit
'sa
wrongtext
.Mygut stol
dmet ocheckout si
de
befor
eorganisi
nganUber .Isawabl ackRange
Rover,
hewasi nsi
deittypingonhisphone.I
wenttohim andknockedonhi swindow.He
l
owereditdownwi t
hat ouchofabut ton

Me:
real
l
y?
Xav
ier
:Iknewy
ou'
l
lneedar
ide.
Me:
I'
ll
cal
lanUber
.

Hegotoutoft hecar,It
houghthewasgoi ngt
o
roughl
ypull
mei nsidethecarbuthedidn'
t.He
j
ustopenedthet heothersi
deofthedoor.He
wasopeningthedoorme.Heeeet hisguy!He'
s
acti
ngli
keIdidn'tsayI'
l
lcal
lanUber.
Me:
Xav
ier
,Ij
ustsai
d-
Xav
ier
:geti
nthecar
,Lel
ona.
Me:you'
redoi
ngitagai
n.Yousai
dwoul
dn'
t
scar
eme* smil
es*
Xavi
er:
you'
renotli
steningt
omesoIhaveto
scar
eyouinorderf
ory outoli
stent
ome.

Isi
ghedandgoti
nthecar
.

Xav
ier
:nowwast
hatsohar
d?*
smi
l
es*
Me:
mxm *
chuckl
esr
oll
i
ngey
es*

Heclosedthedoort
henwenttohissi
de.He
rever
sedthecart
hengotoutoft
heparki
ngand
droveoff
.

Xav
ier
:howwasi
t?
Me:
okayIguess
Xav
ier
:youguess?
Me:
itwasn'
tasgoodasIwant
edi
ttobe.
Xavi
er:
it'
sst
il
lyourf
ir
stt
ime.You'
l
lgett
he
hangofit
Me:
yeah,
Ihopeso.

From all
thatcryi
nginthetherapysession,
I
wasf eel
ingti
red.Ipushedthechairbackand
rest
ed.

Xav
ier
:someone'
sfeel
i
ngcomf
ort
abl
e.
Me:
I'
mti
red.

Hedr ovemetomyhome.Al ongt heway,we

tal
kedaboutalotofrandom t
hingsandat
homest il
lmybrot
hersweren'
taroundIguess
Mullerwasser
ious.Theywon'tbebackuntil
t
heyar
esur
edadi
sokay
.

Me:
thanksf
ort
her
ide.
Xav
ier
:you'
real
one?
Me:
*conf
used*y
eah.
Xav
ier
:wher
eisBobby
?
Me:he'
sbusy
.Hehasal
i
fe,
youknow.
*
chuckl
es*
Xavi
er:
idi
dn'
tsayhedidn'
t.*smil
es*I
'mjust
nott
oohappyabouty
oubei nginahousealone.
Me:
I'
vest
ayedal
oneal
otoft
imes.I
'
llbeokay
.
Xav
ier
:I'
l
lsendsomeonet
owat
chov
ert
hey
ard.
me:
Xav
ier
..
.*si
ghs*
Xav
ier
:I'
l
lcal
lyoul
atert
ocheckupony
ou.
Me:
youdon'
tl
ist
ent
ome.
Xavi
er:wheni
tcomest
oyoursaf
ety
.Inev
erwi
l
l.
*smi
les*
Me:
goodby
e.
Xav
ier
:by
e.

Ismiledt hathesai dby ewithoutmef orcinghim

tosayi tpr oper ly.Iwal kedinsidethey ar
dt hen
walkedi nsidet hehouse.Ihear dhiscarspeed
offonceIwal kedi nsi dethehouse.Thet i
me
wasnow5: 45pm.Imademy selfsomethingto
eat.Af terIat eIst udiedabi tmor eandaf ter2
hoursIwast iredashel l
.Thehousephoner ang,
Irushedt oansweri t.Icheckedt hroughthe
camer ai twasabuf fdar kguy .Iwasscaredas
fuckbutt henIr emember edXav i
ersaidhe'll
organisesomeonet owat chov ertheyardfor
me.Xav i
eri ssuchagoodf r
iend.

Me:
hel
l
o?
?
?:i
t'
sJR.Rel
l
iksentme.
Me:
okay
,thanky
ou.
Iopenedthegat
eandhewalkedi
ntheyar
d.I
cal
ledRell
ikt
othankhi
m.Heansweredt
hecal
l
aft
er3rings.

Me:
JRj
ustar
ri
ved.Thanky
ou.
Xavi
er:
hejustar
ri
ved?Hewassupposedt
obe
ther
e2hoursago.
Me:
yeah.Buti
t'
sokay
.Iwasst
udy
ingany
way
.
Xav
ier
:I'
l
ltal
ktohi
m aboutbei
ngl
ate.
Me:nodon'
t.I
'
mr eal
l
yokaywi
thhi
m bei
ngl
ate.
I
t'
snotabigdeal
.
Xav
ier
:I'
l
lst
il
lhav
eat
alkwi
thhi
m.
Me:
whyam Iev ent
ryi
ng?Youwon'
tl
ist
ent
o
me*chuckl
es*
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*I
'
m gl
ady
ouknowi
t.
~~
afteranhourtalki
ngwi t
hXav i
erhehadt ohang
upsoIwasbackt omybor edom.AndXav ier
saidIshouldn'
ttal
kt oJRbecausehe's
specifi
call
yther
ef orajob.ButI'
m suretheguy
i
shungr y.Imadehi m aburgerwithbakedchips.
Ipouredhim someofMul l
er'
scoke.ThenI '
m
placeditonat r
ayandt ookittohim.Oncehe
sawme, hewasabi tsurpri
sedImadehi mf ood.

Me:
I'
m sur
eyouar
ehungr
y.

Hedidn'
ttal
ktome, It
henr
eal
isedXav
iermust
hav
et ol
dhim nott
ospeaktome.

Me:I'
m sur
eXaviert
oldyounottotal
ktome,
don'
tmindhim.Hecanbeabi text
reme.Ican'
t
l
etyoustar
vetodeath.
JR:
ndi
yabonga,
bossl
ady
.(Thanky
ou)
Me:
pleasedon'
tcal
lthat
.I'
m Lel
onabut
ev
ery
onecal
l
smeLona.

Helookedl
ikehewasattheageof29or30.I
can'
thavehim cal
l
ingmebossl
ady.It
'st
oo
much.

JR:
thanky
ou,
Lona.
Me:mypl
easur
e,JR.*
smi
l
es*hav
eagood
ni
ght
.
JR:
yout
oo.

Iwalkedi
nsi
dethehouse,
andwalkedt
omy
room.Iwasti
redsoIsl
eptear
ly.
~~
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-

Iwal
kedi
nthewar
ehousewher
etheykepther
.
ItwasmeandScr appyand2othermember sof
gang.Theyr emovedthebagthatcov er
edher
face.Hermout hwascov er
edsowecoul dn't
hearwhatshewant edtosayexcepther
mumbl edcriesandscreams.I
'm happywe
couldn'
thearhercri
es.Justbylookingatthis
bit
chI '
m annoyed.

Me:
Khany
iri
ght
?

Shecr
iedevenmoreandIjustchuckl
ed.Idon'
t
gi
veafuckabouthercr
ies.

Me:nowyou'
ll
lear
nnottomesswithLona.
Kayl
ashoul
d'
vewarnedyouIdonotpl
aywhen
i
tcomesdownt oher
.Andyoudeci
dedtoplay
,
nowyouhavetopay.

Iai
medmygunatherhead,
sheshookherhead
cry
ing.Icl
ear
lycoul
dseeshewasbadl
ybeat
en
up.

Scr
appy
:yousur
eyouwantherdead?
Me:
she'
l
ltal
kaboutt
his.

Khany
ishookherheadqui
ckl
ycr
ying.

Me:
Ist
il
lthi
nksheneedst
olear
nal
esson.

Soshewon' teverfor
get.It
ookaknifefr
om one
oftheguy s.IdrewaLonhercheeksoshe
knowst onev erdisr
espectLel
onaormeev er
again.Shescr eamedcryingfr
om thepai
nshe
fel
tast hebloodwentdownt oherneck.

Scr
appy:*l
aughs*y
ou'
reonecr
azy
mother
fucker
.
Me:It
hinkthi
sisasmal
lpai
ntowhatLel
ona
f
elt
.Don'ty
outhink?
Scr
appy
:sheneedssomet
hingmor
eext
reme.
Me:
met
oo.

Ichuckl
ed,shel
ookedatmei
nfear
.

Me:ift
hisgoestothepol
i
ce,y
ou'
l
lbeinbody
bag.Doesthi
sbit
chevenhav
eapoli
cy?Imight
wantherdeadnextweek.

Theguy
slaughed,
Itookt
hekni
kni
feandpl
aced
i
tonhereye.

Me:justtomakesur
eyoudon'
tgoar
ound
sni
tching.
Sheshookherheadcry
ing,Ij
ustl
aughed.She
di
dn'tf
eelanysy
mpathywhenshewasmaki ng
Lonacry,
whyshouldIfeel
anysympathyforher?

Scr
appy
:I'
mti
redoft
hisbi
tchcr
yingsomuch!

Hepunchedher,andthegentsjustlaughed.
Shehadevenmor etears.Herl
efteyewas
becomingswol
len.Ibentdownt othelevelof
thechai
rshewassitti
ngon, wel
lshewast ied
to.

Me: Khanyi
,20yearsold.Youl
iv
ewithyour
grandmotheraft
ery ourmom movedtothel
ook
forworkandnev ercameback.I
'dhat
eforyour
grandmothertohaveabadaccidenti
nher
house
Scr
appy
:fal
landbustherhead*
smi
rks*
Me:
itr
eal
l
ywoul
dbeabadt
hing.She'
stoool
d
tobemakingmi st
akes.Thatal lwil
lhappenifI
spendevenami nuteinjailbecauseofyou.
BecauseIwouldnev erspendadayedany ane
(i
njai
l)
.Trustme* chuckles*

NowIwasannoy edbyt hi
swhol et
hingsoIdid
somet hingthatwouldmakesur enexttimeshe
speakst oLelonashe'll
haverespect.Ipl
aced
theknifeunderherey e.Shescreamedbutwe
couldn'thearherproperl
ybecausehermout h
wascov er
ed.Wi thnosy mpathyItookherri
ght
eyeout .

BOOKERSMEETSCRAPPY

[
02/
17,
16:
42]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT11
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Shescr
eamedherlungsout.Ij
ustlaughed,t
he
pai
nwrit
tenonherfacewasmypl easure.

Me:you'l
lhavetochangetoanot
hervarsi
ty.
Waitthi
syearoutandgetint
oanotheronenext
year
.Idon'twanttoscar
emywi f
e,withyou
l
ookingli
kethat.

Ipunchedher
,thenknockedherout
.

Me:
unt
ieherandputheri
ntheboot
.
Iorder
edtheboys.Theyli
stenedtome, I
checkedmyphoneandnonewmessagef rom
Lonasoshereal
lymustbeasl eep.Ical
l
edJRt o
tal
kabouthi
m beinglat
e.

JR:
Rel
l
ik.
Me:
watgaanaan?(
What
'sgoi
ngon?
)
JR:
andi
va?(
Par
don?)
Me:
mywi
fewasunpr
otect
edf
or2hour
s,JR.
JR:har
de,mjit
a.(
Sor
ry,
man)bekukhoi
nxaki
endl
ini
(ther
ewerepr
oblemsathome)
Me:
Idon'
tgi
veaf
uck.We'
l
ldi
scusst
his
t
omorr
ow.
JR:
yeah-

Icuthi
m of
fbyhangingup.Scr
appyl
ookedat
mewi t
hasmirk.Iknowwherethi
swasgoing.
..
.
Scr
appy
:vr
ou,
huh?(
wif
e,huh?
)*l
aughs*
Me:
(houj
oubek)shutup.
Scr
appy
:af
ewday
sagoy
ousawherasaki
d.
Me:we'
ll
tal
kaboutthi
slat
eron.Nowwe'r
e
goi
ngtodealwi
ththeKhanyi
sit
uati
on.

ThenIwal kedoutoft hewarehouse.Scr appy

fol
l
owedmewhenIdr oveoffwi t
hKhany ii
nmy
boot.Fuck,mycarwi llhav
ebl oodstai
ns.I'l
l
havetoproperlycleanitoff
.OnceIsawwe
wereinthemi ddleofnowher e.Istoppedt he
car
.Scrappyal sostoppedhisandpar kednext
tomine.Hegotoutofhi scar.Igotouttoo.

Scr
appy
:pr
obl
eem?(
Probl
em ?
)
Me:
yeah.
Iwenttomybootandopenedi t
.Ir
oughlyshook
hertowakeherup.Shewhi mperedinpai
nbutI
didn'
tcar
e,shejustsoundedl
ikeadogst andi
ng
i
nt herai
n.Ipul
l
edheroutandshef ell
ont he
tar.

Me:she'sgoingt
orunhome,
youknowy
ouway
homeright?

Sheshookherheadno.Herhandswer est
il
l
ti
edtoget
herbehindherbackandhermouth
wascovered.Herlegswerenott
iedt
hough.

Me:
runbef
oreIchangemymi
ndandki
l
lyou.

Shehesitatedlooki
ngatmei nf ear
.Itookout
mygunf rom mybehi ndandf i
xedittoshot.She
qui
cklystoodupandr an.Iwait
edforhertorun
ali
tt
lebitfastersoshecant astefr
eedom.I
aimedandshother.Shef ellonthegr oundhar
d.
Iwenttoherbody,andjustlikealways.Iaimed
corr
ect
ly,
thebull
etwentr ightthroughherhead.
Thiscr
eatedabloodpool ont hetar.Ipull
edher
headupwi t
hherhairanddr aggedhert owards
thecar
.

Me:cal
lthegent
stocl
eanup.Tel
lthem Ineed
t
hisbodytogetr
emovedfr
om her
ei n30
minut
es,fast
!
Scr
appy
:thoughty
ouwer
en'
tgoi
ngt
oki
l
lher
.
Me: changedmymind.Mygut
stoldmeshe'l
l
star
tratti
ngaboutt
hist
oever
yone.I
tneeded
tobedone.

Hejustnodded,andhewenttohiscar
.Puton
somemusi candboughttheweed.Wesmoked
wewaitedfortheboystocleant
hispl
aceand
gett
hisbodyoutofhere.
~~
×1WEEKLATER×
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-

Omar 'sf uneralwentbyf ast,hisfami l

ydeci ded
tobur nhi sbodyandhav ehi sashes, theysaid
hisbodywast oor uinedt oev enrecogni sehim
from t hecarf i
reintheacci dent.Butt heyknew
theirson, andt heywer esur eitwast heirson.
Sot heyonl ydidamemor i
alserviceforhi m
wher et heytalkedabouthi m alot .Ididn'tgoto
i
nt roducemy selfthere.ButIwasshockedt o
knowt hathet oldSky laraboutme.Sky larwas
hisgi rlbestf ri
end.Shei nvi
tedhimt othepar t
y
andt hat '
swhent heacci denthappened.She
stil
l blamesher selfforitbutIf eltbadt hatshe
feltthatwaybecauseOmarwoul dn'twanther
tof eel li
ket hat.Theexamswer eher eandt he
East erhol idaywasappr oaching.Ididn'twantit
tocomebecauseI '
l
lhavetogobackt othose
demonsIcallfami l
y.Idon'twantt hat.I
recei
vedacallfrom Xavi
er,hehasr eal
lybeena
greatf
ri
endtheseday s.Imi ghtevencal lhi
m
mynewbestf riend.Him andcr azyCar do.They
alwayscheer
edupmymood.

Me:
hey
?
Xav
ier
:ja.

Icouldhearhejustwokeup.Hi sv oi
cewas
raspyandsosexy .Ican'tevendenythathe'
s
goodlookingandsexy .Hisvoi
ceisalr
eady
amazingwhenhe' sfullawakebutwhenhe
wakesup.I t
'si
ncredible.

Me:awwy
ouj
ustwokeup?Youcangobackt
o
sl
eep.
Xav
ier
:nah.Ij
ustsawy
ourt
ext
.Tal
ktome.
Me:woah,ar
eyoual
way
sthi
sgr
umpywhen
youwakeup?
Xav
ier
:tal
k,Lel
ona.
Me:Itoldy
oudon'
tgotothepartynowt
he
hangoveri
stoomuch.*
laughs*
Xav
ier
:Lel
ona*
groans*
Me:
sor
ry.Ineedaf
avour
.
Xav
ier
:any
thi
ng.
Me: thereisasaleatSport
sceneandt her
e's
thesesneaker sthatI
'
m dyi
ngfor.I
'l
lsendy ou
thepictures.Ij
ustwantyoutostandthere
quicklybeforesomeonetakesthem fi
rst.
Xavi
er:
I'
ll
sendsomeoneov
ert
her
e.Whycan'
t
yougo?
Me:
Ihavet
ostar
tatt
hecampusf
ir
st.Mr
May
bankwant
stotal
ktome.
Xav
ier
:youhav
ecl
assest
oday
?
Me:
no.Andsendapi
ctur
eoft
heguyy
ou'
re
goi
ngtosendoverther
esoIknowwhoIam
goi
ngto.Ij
ustwanttogeti
nt heshopandpay
.I
woul
d'
veaskedMullerandKingbutthey
'r
e-
Xav
ier
:Lona,
Ireal
l
ydon'
tmi
nd.
Me: Idon'
twantyoutothi
nkI'
mt aking
advantageofyourki
ndness.Ir
eallyappr
eci
ate
everyt
hingyouhavedoneforme.
Xavi
er:everydayy
ousaythankyout
ome,
andI
st
il
ldon'tknowwhy .*
chuckl
es*
Me:
I'
m bei
nggr
atef
ul.
Xavi
er:l
et'
sputanendtoitnow.Iknowy
ou'
re
grat
eful
,noneedtosayitever
yday.
me:
okay
.Wel
lIhav
etogo.
Xav
ier
:cool
.Tal
ktoy
oul
ater
Me:
bye
Xav
ier
:by
e.

Ismi
l
edhangi
ngup,
thenIsenthi
m pi
ctur
esof
thesneaker sIwant ed.Thi sweekhasbeen
good, noKay l
adr ama, noKhany idr ama, mydad
i
sheal thy .Andmostofal lmybr ot hersar estil
l
okayandsaf e.TheOmarcasewasst il
l being
i
nv estigat ed, Ithi
nk.Becauset hel astti
meI
hear di twast hrownoutandr uledi tasan
accident .Whowoul dwantt oki llOmar ?Hewas
alway ssoni ceandsweetwhoev erdidi t.Iwill
nev erf orgivet hem, ever!Hispar ent shireda
Lawy ert obr ingev i
dencehi scarwasmadet hat
wayt hatdaybutt herewasn' tany .Thej udge
dismi ssedt hecaseaf tertheyj ustbr oughtt he
caseuponassumpt i
on.Iknowal otcan
happenedi noneweek.DrZwi de'ssessi ons
helpmeal ot .Iseeher2t imesaweek,t he
j
our nal isal soagoodt hi
ngf ormebecauseno
oneknowsabouti tbutmeandDrZwi de.I t'
s
l
ikeI '
mt alkingt osomeonewhowon' tjudgeme.
Icansaywhat everIwantandnotbescar edof
beingj udgedbecauseoft heopi nionsIhav e.I
rusheddownst airsbecauseIneededt or ushto
t
hecampus.Mullerwasthere,
Kingwasnot
t
hough.Hewaswi thX.Ij
ustwavedatt
hem and
r
ushedout.Iwal
kedtothecampusandwenton
MrMaybank'sof
fice.

Me:
sir
,youemai
l
edmewant
ingt
oseeme.

Wasi tevenal
lowedforLect
urerstoemai
l
students?Idi
dn'
twanthimtonot i
ceIwas
uncomf ort
abl
ewiththi
ssoIforcedasmil
e
whilemyheartstar
tedbeati
ngf ast
.

MrMaybank:
yes,howar
ethesessi
onswi
th
Ri
car
doDamon?
Me:
par
don?
MrMay
bank:
het
oldmehowheachievedsuch
ahi
ghmar
kinmyexam.Youwer
etutori
nghim.
Me:
yes,
oncer
tai
nday
s,si
r.
MrMay
bank:
howmuchdoy
ouchar
gehi
m?
Me:he'
ski
ndofmyf
ri
endsoIdon'
tchar
gehi
m
si
r.
MrMay bank:Iwantyout
otut
or3ofmy
str
uggl
ingstudent
s.They
'r
ewil
li
ngpayR50an
hour.
Me:
real
l
y!?YesI
'
lldoi
tsi
r.
~~
Iwalkedfr
om UCTcampust oSportsceneandi
t
wasabi tl
ongandIwast i
redashell
.Andthe
sunwasn'thel
pingeit
her
.Afterawhil
eof
walki
ng,Xavi
ercall
edme.

Me:
I'
m ar
ri
vi
ngi
nthest
orenow.
Xav
ier
:al
readyboughtt
hem.Comet
oSpur.
Me:
what
!?
Xav
ier
:Ial
readyboughtt
hem f
ory
ou.
Me:
youcan'
tdot
hat
.Idon'
twanty
ouspendi
ng
moneyonme.

Iknowguy s,especial
l
yguy sli
keXavi
er.One
minutethey'
rebuyingy ouexpensi
vegif
ts,t
he
nextminutetheythinktheyowny oubecauseof
theexpensiv
egi f
ts.

Xav
ier
:al
readydi
d.
Me:
mxm.

Idroppedt hecall
,hedoesn'
tlist
ent omeandI
hatet hat
.WhenIsaynoIwi shpeopl ewoul d
l
istent ome.I'
m notcomfortablewithguy s
buy i
ngmeexpensi vegif
tsandhedi dit,butI
tol
dhi m noalr
eady .Hecall
edagai n,andIj ust
turnedoffmyphone.Thesunwasbur ningme
andi twaswayf artogethome.Iswi tchedon
myphone, cal
l
edupanUber .Thenswi tchedi t
offignori
ngXav i
er'
stext
sandmi ssedcal ls.
Oncet heUberarri
v edIwenthome, Iwasti
red
andheat i
ngup.I '
l
l needacoldshower.Once
theUberpar kednexttomyhouse, IsawXav i
er
blackLambor ghi
ni.Iwasshockedhewasher e
already.Butwhyam Isur pr
isedthi
sguy'si
sa
speedr acerhedoest hi
smor eof
ten.

Xav
ier
:Lel
ona
Me:Idon'
tthi
nkwehaveany
thi
ngt
otal
kabout
unt
ily
oustartl
ist
eni
ngt
ome.
Xav
ier
:I'
m al
lear
s.
Me: Idonotneedy ourmoney .Icanbuymy
ownst uffandIlikebuyingmyownst uff.It
'sa
partofwhoIam.Iunder st
andy ourgi
rlf
riendor
gir
lf
r i
endslovey ouspoili
ngthem butI'
m not
them.Ilikespendingmyownmoneyandnot
dependingonany oneelsebesidesmy selfand
mybr others.Pleaseunder st
andwhatI '
m
sayingandt akeitseri
ously.
Xav
ier
:Ido.AndIpr
omi
set
hisi
sthel
astt
imeI
doi
t.
Me:t
hankyou.NowIhav etogoal
lthewayto
t
hebanktowithdr
awy ourR1100butIjust
woul
d'
veswipedatthestore.
Xav
ier
:I'
m notgoi
ngt
otaket
hemoney
.
Me:whydoIev
enbot
herwi
thy
ou?Any
way
t
hankyou.

Henodded, Ihuggedhim goodby e.Heki ssed

myf oreheadt henIwenti
nsidet hey ard.OnceI
wasi nt hehousethat
'swhenhedr ov eoff.The
housewasempt y,
Iguessmybr otherswer eout.
Istudiedf ort
heexam Iwasgoi ngt owr it
e
tomorr ow.
~~
Icheckedthetimeitwas6:00pm IguessI
studi
edt i
l
llat
e.It
ookapict
ureofmybooksand
posteditonmyWhat sAppstat
uswi t
hthe
caption" it'
sdedi cat i
onnotl uck "t henI
checkedot herpeopl e'
sst atuesandIsawKay l
a
waspar tyingbutshe' sint hemodul ewithme.
We'rebot hwr i
tingt het estt omor row.Isawher
statust hatwaspost edj ustnow.I twaswr i
tten
"bit
cheshav enol i
f ewhat soev er "
somet hi ngi nmet ol dmei twasaboutme
becausewhywoul dshepostt hataf terIpost ed
apictur eofmybooks?Sher eallylov es
breakingmedownandIdon' tunder standwhy .
Shehasi tall,Ishoul dbet heonej ealousofher
yetshe' sj ealousofme.She' sgott heper f
ect
body ,shehasal otofguy st hatl ikeher ,andshe
hasal otoff riends.I 'mf atandal lthef r
iendsI
havear elike2excl udingher .Wel lshe'snot
evenmyf r i
endany mor e.She' stoocaughtup
withKhany iandZi khonat oev enseet hat'
s
she'slosi ngt heper sont hatcar edabouthert he
most ,andt hat '
sme.Idi dn'tev enr epl ytoher
pettydr ama.I fIhav enol ifewhyi sshewast i
ng
hersst alkingme?I 'llneverunder st andKay la
yaz,shebul liedmei nhi gh-school andshe' s
tryi
ngt odoi tagai ni nv arsity,andIcan' tbel i
eve
my self!I '
ml et ti
ngherbul l
yme.I '
ml etti
ngher
pettydr amaaf fectme.Ishoul djusthav e
posi t
ivev ibesandl etkar madeal withher .
Becausecl ear l
yshe' snotonmyl evel.I
'l
lpr ay
forhert ogetbet terfrom al lthebi t
ternessand
j
eal ousybecauset hoset wot hingsar ewhatcan
killaper sonormaket hem goont hewr ong
trackofl ifet hent hey '
llregretitafteritistoo
l
at etof i
xany thi
ng.Ihopeshedoesn' t
exper i
encet hat .Althoughshehat esmeIdon' t
hateher , Ifeel sorryf orher .Sheneedsl ov ein
ordert ogi vel ov eandev ent houghshewi shes
mebadt hings.Isor t
adon' twanthert o
exper i
encebadt hings.Iwentdownst ai
rst oeat ,
Isawmybr ot hers.Theywer eeat i
ngpi zza.Ij ust
roll
edmyey es, theyeatsomuchy etthey
alway sst ayf it!

Mul
l
er:
youdr
ankmycoke?
If
rozeandcl
ear
edmyt
hroat
.

Me:
yeah.Justonegl
ass.

HowwasIgoi ngtoMul lert

haXav i
erorgani
sed
someonet oguar dovertheyard?becausehe
didn'
tfeell
ikeit
'ssafeformet obeherealone.
I'
drathernotbecauset heybothhavehugeegos
soit'
l
l onl
ycauset oomanyf ight
s.Hewon' t
understandthatXavierisonl
ymyf ri
endand
nothi
ngmor eandnot hi
ngless.

Mul
l
er:
Ithoughty
ouwer
eof
faci
d.
Me:
Iam,j
ustcr
avedi
tfory
est
erdayonl
y.
Mul
l
er:
you'
rel
yi
ng.
Me:
uh?What
?I.Iam not
.
Mul
l
er:
Lel
ona;
Iknowy
oul
i
ket
hebackofmy
hand.Whowasher
e?
Me:
noone-
Mul
l
er:
Lel
ona!
!!*
shout
ing*

Iwasscaredformylif
e.WhenMul l
eristoo
angry,
hecannotcontrolhi
sanger.Lastti
mehe
beatupOmar .I
'
m scaredhe'
ll
beatmeup.Ev en
thoughhepromisedhewouldneverdot hat
.

Me:
itwasjustCar
do.Wewer
est
udy
ingher
ein
t
hehouse.

Irepl
i
edwit
hgl
ossyey
es.Ihatebei
ngshouted.
Andheknowshowvul
nerabl
eIam.Hesi ghed
oncehesawIwant
edtocry.

Ki
ng:someonewouldswearyout
ooar et
wins.
Youbothcan'
tcont
rol
youremoti
ons.Youreal
l
y
actt
hesame*
shakeshi
sheadchuckl
i
ng*
Me:
mxm.HeknowsIhat
ebei
ngshout
ed.
Ki
ng:
wenauxokel
ant
oni
?(Whydi
dyoul
i
e?)
Me:Ithoughtyouguyswer
egoi
ngt
obeangr
y
aboutCardobeingher
e.
Mull
er:
Ital
kedt
ohi
m al
ongt
imeago.He'
s
har
mless.
Me: t
alkedt
ohim?That'
swhyhedit
chedhis
fri
endsandcametostudywi
thme.Not
becausehecar
edaboutthet
est
,youguysreall
y
tol
dhimt ol
ookoutf
ormeandIwasal onethat
day.
Mul
l
er:It
oldy
ouIwoul
ddoi
t.Wesai
ditat
t
hepar
ty.
Me: i
didn'
tthi
nkyouweret
hatext
remetof
orce
avarsit
yguytonotenj
oyhi
svarsi
tyl
if
e
becauseofme.
Mul
ler
:nott
osayheshoul
dn'
tenj
oyit
.Just
wat
choverandhangwi
thyousoyoudon'
tfeel
l
onel
y.
Me:
soy
ou'repayi
ngsomeonet
obemyfr
iend?
Wowmyli
feisl
ame.Ireal
l
yhav
enol
if
e*sighs*
Ki
ng:
don'
tsayt
hat
.
Me:
it'
str
ue.Mybr
other
shavetopaysomeone
t
ohangoutwit
hme.Ifeel
li
keIam afai
l
ure.
Mul
ler
:bynothavi
nganyf
ri
ends?That
'
san
f
uckedupfai
lur
ethen.
Me:
you'
renothel
ping.
Mull
er:l
ook,yourgoal
sshoul
dbeaboutget
ti
ng
aneducati
onnotfri
ends.Whydoyoueven
needfr
iendswheny ouhav
eus?Fri
endscome
andgobut -
Me: f
amil
ystaysfor
ev er
.* si
ghs*Iwantgirl
f
riendsandfri
endsthatwon'tgoar ound
f
ighti
ngeveryonewhenIt ell
them howmyday
went.Norfi
ghtmyboy fr
iendinWat erworl
d.
Mul
l
er:
Igety
ourpoi
nt.
Me:andpl
easest
oppayingCardot
ohangout
wi
thme.Iwantagenui
nefri
endshi
p.

It
ext
edCar
do.Iam sodi
sappoi
ntedi
nhi
m.

Me:y
ourpay
mentsar
eover
.Youdi
dn'
thav
eto
f
akebei
ngmyfr
iendf
ormoney.
Cardo : sor
ry,
Lona.Ineededt
hecashbut
ri
ghtnowIenjoyyourcompanykid.Younot
thatbad.
Me:
mxm.
Car
do:
I'
ll
makei
tupt
oyou.
Me:
Let
'sgot
othatv
eganr
est
aur
ant
.Youowe
me.
Cardo:I
'
m notaboutt
opayR100toeatleaves.
Let'
sgotothi
sspotIknow,
theysel
lthebest
braai
.
Me:
Ican'
teatbr
aai
meat
.
Cardo:comeon.I
t'
sjustf
oroneday
.Letl
oose.
I
'l
lpickyouupi
n30mi nut
es.

Ilookedatmybrother
swhowerebusybeing
i
diotsandthrowi
ngpopcorni
ntheairandtr
ying
tolandthem i
nthei
rmouthandlaughi
ngat
eachotherwhentheothermi
sses.

Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
oDebonai
rswi
thCar
do.
Mul
l
er:
Debonai
rs?*
conf
used*
Me:
yeah,
he'
str
yingt
oapol
ogi
ze.CanIgo?
Ki
ng:
asl
ongasy
ougetbackbef
oremi
dni
ght
.
Me:
okay
,thanks.

Ir
ushedupst
air
stowearsomet hingcasual.I
woremyli
ghtbl
uejeanswi t
halightblueJean
j
ackett
henawhitepoloneckunderneath.Il
eft
myphonesoIdon'tat
tractt
hiev
esIwor emy
whitesneaker sagain.Andr ightafterIwas
done, Car
dowasi ntheki tchen.I thasn'teven
beenami nuteandhe' seat ingint hehouse.He
l
ovesf ood.Iknowmanyofy ouar ethinki
ng
Cardoandmehav ef eel
ingsf oreachot her.I
t'
s
ano, becauseIwoul dnev erdat eagangst er
andCar doseesmeashi sl ittl
esisterjust
becausehe' say earoldert hanme.Iseehi m as
mybr other.Nothingmor e!
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Itookoutallmyfrustr
ati
onsinf
uckingthehel
l
outofNandi.Shet ext
edmeearli
erandI
couldn'
tresi
st.I
'
m stil
lsi
ngl
eeventhoughI
wantLelona,andIwanthersobad.
Nandi
:yes!Yes!Ahha!Rel
l
ikkkkk*
moans*

Iwasslammi ngmydicki nherdoggyst yl

e.She
cameandIf oll
owedrightafterher
.Ipull
edout
andwenttof l
ushthecondom downt het oil
et.I
heardmyphoner i
ngint heroom whil
eIwas
peeingi
nthere.Nandiboughtittome, shewas
sti
l
lnaked.Ibitmyli
pandsl appedherass.She
smiledandwinked.

Nandi
:hur
ryandcomebackt
obed.

Ianswer
edt
hecal
l
,itwasCar
do.

Cardo:we'
regoi
ngtotheMzol
i
'sPl
ace.Wher
e
thegangusual
lyhangs.
Me:
whyt
hef
uckwoul
dyout
akehert
oapl
ace
f
ull
ofgangst
ers!
?
Cardo:
theydon'tevenknowher
.Theyj
ustt
hink
she'
saf r
iendofmine.
me:
Cardogethert
hef
uckoutoft
her
ebef
ore
t
her
eisashootout
.

Ihear
dai
rnoi
ses,
thenIhear
dmybabyt
alki
ng.

Lona:l
etmetal
ktohim.Hei st
oomuch..
.
Xavi
erIcamehereforagoodti
me.I
'
ml ett
ing
l
oose.Yousai
dityoursel
f.
Me:
okay
.
Lona:okay
?ThankGody
oudeci
dednott
obe
stubbor
ntoday
.
Me:
*chuckl
es*I
'
llbet
her
ein15mi
nut
es.
Lona:
what
?Why
?*l
aughs*we'
l
lbef
ine.
Me:youknowI'
m notgoi
ngtoli
stent
oy ou.And
Inev
erwil
lwhenitcomestoyoursaf
ety
WhythefuckwouldCar
dot akeLel
onat
othe
Mzoli
'
sPlaceinGugul
ethu!
?Somet i
mesI
wonderhowthatki
dgotinmygang.Iqui
ckl
y
dr
essedup.

Nandi
:wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?Rel
l
ik.

Shetr
iedt
otouchmesoIqui
ckl
ypushedher
backandshef
ellont
hebedr
oughl
y.

Me:getdressedandgetthef
uckoutofmy
house.You'r
edonewithwhatyouwereher
efor
.
I
'l
ldeposi
tmoneyf ort
hoseshoesyouwant
ed.

Shenoddedwi pinghertearsandgett
ing
dressed.It
ookmybl ackRangeRover
.ThenI
droppedNandi offanddroveofft
otheMzoli
'
s
Pl
ace.

LONA
[
02/
17,
16:
42]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER~
I
NSERT12
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Wewenti nsi
detheplaceandpl acedanorder
forthemeat ,t
henwentt otheplacewherethey
braaiforustheconsumer s.I
twaspacked,
therewereal otofpeopl
e.Peopl eIwaseven
scaredof.Somest aredatus,IblameCardo.He
waswear ingtheseAmer i
canflagsclot
hesand
drawingat t
enti
ontous.Ibreathedslowl
yto
containmypanicat t
ack.Ther
ewer eal
otof
people!Icl
osedmyey esandcountedt
o10
thenIwasokay .IsmiledatCardo,
buthewas
l
ookingatmeconf used.

Me:
Iwast
ryi
ngt
ocont
ainmypani
cat
tack.
Car
do:It
houghtyouwereaboutt
ohav
ea
sei
zur
eorsomething.

Wel aughedt ogetherandIplayfull

ypunched
him.Whi l
ewewai tedforthemeat ,wetal
ked.
Themeatf inall
yar ri
ved.Het ol
dmeabouthi s
babymamadr ama.Iwasshockedt hathehada
chil
d.Helov eshisbabymot hersomuch, ev
en
thoughhel i
esabouti tIseet hesmilehehadon
hisfacewhenhet alksabouther .Wewere
eati
ngandt alking.

Me:
whydon'
tyouj
ustsendi
temst
hen?
Cardo:Iwanttotakecareofhert
oo,because
shemightfindanotherl
i
ghti
e(guy)t
ot akecar
e
ofher.
Me:
andy
oudon'
twantt
hat
.
Car
do:*
annoyed*i
fIwant
edt
hatt
henI
woul
dn'
tcar
e.
Me: don'
tgetgrumpywi
thme.*
chuckl
es*just
tel
lheryou'r
elowoncashandI
'
m sureshe'
ll
supportyou.
Cardo:*chuckl
es*youwat chwaytoomanyTV
shows.Thisisthereal
wor ldwher
ewheny ou
can'
ttakecareyourgir
l,someoneelsewi
ll
doi t
foryou
Me:
you'
l
lnev
erknowunl
essy
out
ry.
Car
do:
Lel
ona-
Me:
t.r
.y
Cardo:hasany
oneev
ert
oldy
ouhowannoy
ing
youare?
??:howcanabeaut
if
ulf
acel
i
ket
hisbe
annoyi
ng?

Il
ookedback, andIdi
dn'tknowt hi
sguyatall
.
Helookedscar yt
ome.Hewasn' tcut
enorugly
j
ustaverage.Hehadtattoosallover,
evenon
hi
sneckj ustl
ikeXavi
er.Helookedolderand
bi
ggerthanCar do

Car
do:
Kenny
..
.
Kenny:houjoubek,Ricar
do!Ekpr
aatmetdi
e
mooi meisi
e.(Shutup,Ri
car
do!I
'mtal
ki
ngwith
thebeauti
fulgir
l)

Helift
eduphi svestandIcoul
dseeagun.My
heartstar
tedbeati
ngupin1000beats.Iwas
afr
aidCardowoul dbestubbor
nandgetus
ki
ll
edbynotshut ti
ngup.Andhedid,
Car dogot
up,anddisplayedhi
sgun.
Cardo:ekwil
niemetjouhierdi
etedoenni
e.
Maarjyisui
tvandielyn.(
Idon'
twanttodothi
s
wit
hy oubutyou'
reoutofli
ne)
Kenny:hoekom huil
jy?Issyjoumeisi
e!?Syis
mymei si
enou!* r
oughlypull
sLona'sar
m*( why
ar
ey oucryi
ng?Isshey ourgi
rlf
ri
end?She'smy
gi
rl
fri
endnow!)

Peoplewer emindingt heirownbusi ness,they

couldn'
tevenseewhatwashappeni ng.Andit
wast ooloud,t
her ewasnopoi ntformet o
scream.AsItriedt oscr eam i
t'
slikenoscr eams
werecomi ngout.Hehadat i
ghtgr iponmyar m,
nowwewer ebot hst andingupandIcoul dfeel
hisdickonmyass.Hewast oocloset ome,
anditmademev eryuncomf ortable.Ili
ter
all
y
j
ustf r
ozetherescar edofwhatmi ghthappen
next.Ican'
tdi
et oday ,andIcan'tgetr aped
today!Notever!IknowIdon' tappreciateli
fea
l
otbutIjustcan'tdi
e!Notinagangst
erspot
wheremymur dercasewouldl
eadnowher e
becausenoonewi l
lsni
tch.

Cardo:
syisRel
li
ksemeisi
e.Moeniespeel
met
haarni
e.(
SheisRel
kl
ik'
sgi
rlf
ri
end.Don'
tpl
ay
wit
hher)
Kenny
:babygi
rl
,tel
lmey
ourname.
Me:
uh,
uhm i
-
Kenny
:Ri
car
do,
haarnaam?(
Hername?
)
Xav
ier
:it
'snoneofy
ourbusi
ness.

Webotht
urnedl
ookedbehi
ndus,
andboywasI
l
uckyt
oseehim!

Xav
ier
:Lel
ona,
comeher
e.
Iwasscaredtoev enwalkov ertohim because
thefaci
alexpr
essionhehadwasv er
y
thr
eateni
ngandv eryserious.I
flookscouldkil
l
Kennywouldbe6f eetunderri
ghtnow.Kenny
hadat i
ghtgri
ponmyar m.It r
iedtogot ohim
butKennypull
edmeback.

Xavier:Kenny
, y
oudon'twanttomesswi t
hme.
Mayt hisbemyf inalwar
ning.I'
m notat
alker,
soifIsaysomet hingonce.Iwantitt
ohappen
qui
ckly.WhenIt el
lLel
onasheshouldcomet o
me, she'l
lwal
kt omesaf el
ywithoutmeseeing
anyt y
peofbr ui
sesonher .Or
,Mzoli'
swi
llbea
cri
mescenev erysoon.

Heletgoofmyar m andIwalkedovert
oXavier
.
Iwasscaredtoevenhughim, whenhe'
sangry
i
t'
sli
kehe'sangryatever
yone.SoIwasscared
toeventouchhi
m.Tomysur pri
sehewasthe
onewhohuggedme.
Xav
ier
:you'
reokay
?

Inodded,
Icoul
dn'
tev
ensayawor
dout
.

Xav
ier
:you'
rehur
t?

Ishookmyheadno.I '
mjustst
il
lscared,
myar m
j
usthurtsbutIcoul
dn'
ttel
lhi
mt hat
.Idon'twant
thi
splacebeingal
lmessedupbecauseofme.

Xav
ier
:how'
syourar
m?

Ishruggedabi
t.Hi
sjawclenchedIcoul
dseeit
thr
oughhishar
dcheeks.Hewasr eal
lymad.

Me:
cany
oupl
easej
ustt
akemehome?
Xavi
er:Car
dowill
takey
ouhome.I
'
llf
oll
owr
ight
af
teryouguys.
Me:
Iwanty
out
otakemehome.

Ilookedhi
mi nt
ohisey
es.Hisri
ghthandr
an
throughhi
sface.Hewastr
yingtocal
m hi
msel
f
down.

Xavi
er:I
'
llf
oll
owr
ightaf
tery
ouguy
s.I
'
llcal
lyou
l
ateron.
Me:
Xav
ier
-
Xavi
er:
pleasel
istentomeforonceandI
promi
sey ouI
'l
lcally
oulat
er.

Il
ookeddowndef eat
edbecausewhatifXavier
getsshott
odayandIwillbet
hereasonforthat.
Iknowhe'sagrownmanandhe' sagangster
butIcan'
thel
pbutwor r
ybecausehelet
shis
angergett
hebestofhim somet
imesandt
hat
wil
lleadhi
mindarkerpat
hs.

Xav
ier
:comeon,
don'
tdot
hat
.I'
l
lbeokay
.

Inoddedandheki ssedmyf orehead.He

mot i
onedf orCardotocomewi thus,Xavi
er
heldmyhand.Wewal kedoutt hepl
ace.Ididn't
l
ikethest areswereceiv edfrom peoplet
her e.I
thi
nkt heyknewXav i
er.Hemadesur eIgotnear
thecar ,
safely.Hestoodwi thusnearCar do's
car.Isawhi sRangeRov erfr
om af ar.Whyishe
dri
vingaRangeRov ert oashi sanyama.
Heeeehl omf ana(thi
sguy )

Xavi
er:
dri
veherhome,noquickst
ops.Cal
l
Scr
appytocal
lOGandJRt heyshoul
dcome
her
enounou( nownow)
Icr
iedsi
l
enttear
stogethi
m wor
ri
edandnotgo
i
nbackther
e.

Xavi
er :
don'
tdothat
.*wipeshert
ear
s*I
promisedyouI
'l
lcal
lyou.Youlov
eworr
ying
yoursel
f.
Me:Idon'
twantyout
ogobacki
nher
e.You'
re
gonnagethur
t.

Xav i
eri
st heonlybestfr
iendIdon'
thavei
nthe
moment .Heal wayscallsatni
ghtandIdon'
t
sleepwit
habadmood.AndIdon' tt
olosehi
m
toojustl
ikeIlostKayla.

Xavier
:Ineedtoteachhim alesson.He's
disr
espectf
ulandIdon'tli
kehim disr
especti
ng
meandt hepeopleIcareabout.Heshoul dn'
t
evenhavetalkedtoCardolikethatnorgr
aby ou
l
ikethatbuthediditbecausehel i
kesseeinga
r
eacti
onoutofmewel
lhe'
sgonnaseeone
t
onight
.

Himt alki
ngsoangr
ilywaswor r
yingme
becausef r
om wher
eIl ookati
t.Peopl
emaydi e
fr
om t hat
,goshwhydidIevencomet othis
pl
acewhenIhav eat esttomorr
ow.Mor ecars
pull
edup.IsawJR, Scrappyandsomeot her
guythathadahugescaronhi sface.

Xav
ier
:okay
,nowIhav
etogo.Noqui
ckst
ops,
Car
do.

Iwasaboutt ocryandhelookedatmei nafi

rm,
sternandseri
ouswayt ostopwhatIwas
tr
y i
ngtodo.Ifol
dedmyar msandl ookedthe
way .Cardowasholdi
nginal augh.Deathand
beatingpeopl
eupi snotajoke.Xavierki
ssed
myf oreheadthenheopenedt hedoorforme,I
goti
nthecar
.

Me:don'tf
orgett
ocal
lmewheny
ou'
reaty
our
house.
Xavi
er:
andgetsomerest.You'
rewr
it
ingexams.
Don'
tstr
essaboutme,j
yhoormy ?(
youhear
me?)
Me:
yeah.

Heclosedt
hedoor
,thenCardodr oveoff
.
Speedi
ngofft
obequitecor
rect.Iglar
edathi
m.
Thi
sisnotatr
aci
ngshow, i
t'
sreal l
i
fe.

Me:
whyar
eyouspeedi
ng?
Cardo:
justwanttogohomequi ckl
y.Ul
i
gwal
a
kanene(you'
recoward)*
laughs*
Me:welef
tthemeatt
her
e!At
otal
wast
eof
money
.
Car do:*l
aughs*Ididn'
tevenr
eal
iset
hatwel
eft
i
tt here.I
'l
ltextMzolit
okeepi
tsafef
orme,I
'
ll
takei tt
omor row.
Me:
youknowt
heowneroft
hepl
ace!
?
Car
do:
yeah.Weal
ldo,
eveny
ourbr
other
s.
Me:
isheal
soapar
toft
hebi
ggang..
.?
Car
do:y
oucoul
dsayt
hat.*
laughs*heusest
he
shi
sany
amatowashhi
scash
Me:washhi
scashl
ikemakeitseenl
ikethe
dr
ugdir
tymoneyi
smadeintheshisanyama.
Cardo:
yeah.We'
regoi
ngt
ost
opatt
hegar
ageI
needaquickr
efi
l
l.
Me:
Xav
iersai
dnoqui
ckst
ops.
Cardo:i
fwedon'
tst
opt
her
e.I
zof
adal
aipet
rol
.
(Thepetr
olwi
l
lend)
Me:
okay
,justav
eryqui
ckst
op.

West
oppedatt
hegar
agecl
osebyt
owher
ewe
were.Iwaitedi nthecar, whil
eCardot alkedto
themenout side.Icouldclearl
yheart heir
conversat
ionaboutt hepet r
olandt henthey
wentont omakesmal ltalkwitheachot her
abouttherisingpr i
ceofpet rol
.AfterthatCardo
droveoff.

Car
do:
tol
dyounot
hingwi
l
lhappen.
Me:
yeahy
eah*
chuckl
esr
oll
i
ngey
es*

Ihear
dacarsoundbehi
ndussoIlookedback,
Cardospedupbutt
hecaral
sospedup.

Me:
Ithi
nkwe'
rebei
ngf
oll
owed.
Car
do:
shi
t.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Iangri
lyl
ookedatKenny.Ical
l
edScrappy
,JR
andOGbecauseIknewKenny 'scr
ewwas
aroundheresomewhere.

Kenny
:fi
nal
l
y,Rel
l
ikhasaweakness*
laughs*
Me:
ify
ouev
ert
ouch-
Kenny
:you'
renotgoi
ngt
odoany
thi
ng.
Me:youbul
lyi
ngCar
dobecauseyouknowhe'
s
al
oneinher
eandallyourboy
sareher
eisr
eal
ly
aweakmov eIdi
dn'
texpectf
rom y
ou.

Iai
medmygunathi m,that'
swheney eslanded
onus.Somepeopler
anoutcr azil
ybutIknew
al
lthosewhoweregangster
sst ayedbehi
nd.
Kenny:
kil
lme.Ki
ll
meenskep'noor
log(
and
cr
eateawar)youwil
lev
erwi
n!
Me:
I'
ll
figur
esomet
hingout
.

Quickl
yMzolir
ushedinbetweenus.Icoul
dn'
t
shootKennybecauseIr
espectedMzolial
ot.
AndifIshootMzoli
,Iwi
ll
beindeepshit.

Mzol
i
:Kenny
,ui
t!(
Out
)
Kenny:seeyouaround,
Rel
l
ik.IhopeIgett
osee
hertoo.*smi
rks*

Iwant
edtobeathi
m upsobad,
butMzol
ihel
d
meback.

Mzol
i:hey
!Whyi
smybusi
nessaf
ight
ingar
ea
f
oryou?
Me:
youknowhowKennyget
sundermyski
n.
Eendageksaldatseundoodmaak.(
OnedayI
wil
lki
llt
hatboy)
Mzoli
:noti
nmyshi sanyama.Iam l
osi
ng
busi
nessbecauseofthi
s.
Me:
aski
es.(
Sor
ry)
Mzoli
:you'
reluckyI
'mverycl
osewi
thy
our
uncl
eandy ou*chuckl
es*
Me:
thanksMzoman!
Mzol
i:
anddon' tgohunti
ngforKenny.I
t'
sbeen
anwhi
lesincetherehasbeenawar ,
don'tgo
ar
oundlookingfori
t.
Me:
Iheary
ou.

Myguy sandIleft
.Itol
dt hem whathappened
andtheysaidt
hey '
l
lthinkofway sofgett
ing
backaroundatKennywi thoutkil
li
nghim and
creat
ingawar.Kenny '
sfatherrunsthestr
eets
i
nEast er
nCape,butKennycameher ej
ustto
l
iveandenjoyl
ifebeforehegoesbackt o
EasternCapet otakeov er .HeknowsIcan' tkil
l
him becausei t'
ll
onl ycreat ewarthatwoul d
neverend.Ghost ,whoi smyuncl e,al
way s
warnsmenott okillKennybuthi slifeisli
kea
ti
ckingbombandi t'ssoonaboutt oexplode
becauseIwon' ttakeshi tf rom hi
m.Ispedof f
home, andIdi dn'tseeanyf unnythingsalong
theroadsoIguessCar doandLonaar riv
ed
homesaf el
y.Ical ledLonat omakesur e.Her
phoner angtilli
twasunanswer ed.Forhersake
Ihopeshe' snoti gnor i
ngmycal l
sbecauseI '
ll
gotoherhomel ooki ngf orher.Ical l
edagain
andst i
lli
trangunanswer ed.Beforemyanger
couldriseupIcal l
edCar do.Itrangandi twas
answer edafteral ongt i
me.

Me:
didy
oudr
opherof
fsaf
ely
?
Car
do:
uh.
..

Icoul
dheart
hathewasst
il
lont
her
oad
speedi
ng.InmyheadIt
houghtmay
behe'
s
raci
ngtoday.

Me:
whatt
hef
uckdoy
oumeanby"
uh"Car
do?
Lona:
we'
rebei
ngf
oll
owed.

Iwasfucki
ngsofucki
ngangryshewasi
nthe
carwhenIspeci
fi
cal
lyt
oldCardonoqui
ck
stops.

Me:
what
!?Wher
ear
eyou!
?
Lona:
Idon'
tknow.
Me:
Car
do!
?
Car
do:
uh,
we'
reuhm.
..
Me:youbet
terf
ucki
ngknowwher
eyouar
e,I
swearI
'l
l
-
Lona:
Xav
ier
!He'
sdr
ivi
ngandIdon'
twanthi
m
st
ressedwhil
ehe'
sdri
vi
ng.Thi
sismyl
i
feher
e.
He'
snotaloneint
hecar

Cardotoldmewher etheywereandIwasmore
angrythatt
heydidn'
tli
stentomewhenIsai
d
noquickstops.Iqui
cklygoti
nmycar.

Me: ci
rcl
ear oundthesame2str
eets.They
'r
e
fol
lowingyouf ori
nfor
mati
on.Theywant
Lona'saddress.
Lona:
myaddr
ess?Why
?
Me: Kenny
'sor
ders.I
'l
lbet
her
equickl
ykeep
ci
rcli
ngthe2str
eets.Donott
akeherhome
Cardo!
Car
do:
yes,
boss
Me:don'
thangupei
ther
.Ineedt
omakesur
e
Lonai
ssafe.
~~
Iparkednexttoherhome.It ookcareoft heguy
fol
lowingthem.inLona'smi ndshet hi
nks
Cardoditchedhim butmeandCar doknowI
kil
l
edhi m,sohecandr iveLonahome, butIt ook
herfrom abitfar
,shedidn'
tseet heotherguy '
s
carordeadbody .Itol
dCar dotogot othecar
andwai tunti
lOGcomesandcl eansthebl oody
mess.

Lona:
thanks.
Me: noprobl
em.Nextti
medon'
tgotoMzoli
'
s,
oranyshisanyama.Ify
ouwantbr
aaimeat
,I'
l
l
braaimeatforyou.
Lona:
that
'sabi
text
remedon'
tyout
hink?
Me:
no.I
t'
sthemostper
fecti
deaIhav
ehear
d
t
hewhol
eday
Lona:
mxm.I
fyouwantmetoli
stentoyouand
dowhaty
ouwanty
oualsohav
et oli
stent
ome.
Me:
Lona-
Lona:
no.Whenisaylet
'sl
eave.Pl
easel
et'
sjust
l
eaveandl
eavet
hef i
ghtsbehi
nd.
Me:Ican'
tj
ustl
eav
e.Peopl
ewi
l
llookatmel
i
ke
I
'm abi
tch
Lona:
whydoyoucareaboutwhatpeopl
esay
?
Youcoul
d'
vebeenki
l
ledther
etoday.
Me:
butI
'
m st
il
lal
i
ve.
Lona:
you'
renotl
i
steni
ngt
ome-
Me:andIneverwi
l
lwheni
tcomest
oyour
saf
ety.HowmuchdoIhav
etosayt
hatf
oryou
tounderst
and?
Lona:
mxm

Sheopenedthedoorangr i
ly.AndIj
ustchuckl
ed,
mywi f
ecanbedramat icsomet i
mes.Igotout
thecarandr
antoher .Ipull
edherquickl
y
befor
eshecouldtoucht hegate.
Me:
comeon,
don'
tbel
i
ket
hat
.*l
aughs*
Lona:
byeRel
l
ik
Me:hayhayhayuyazi
bonake.(
Nonono,
do
youseeyour
sel
f)
Lona:
*laughs*don'
ttr
yXhosaagai
n.
Me:
it'
swor
thseei
ngy
ousmi
l
e.
Lona:
bye.
Me:
bye.

Ihuggedherandkissedherfor
ehead.I
watchedhergeti
nt heyar
dandt henint
he
house.That
'swhenIwentinmycar ,anddr
ove
off
.Icall
edCardotoaskifthebodywastaken
careof.

Car
do:
Rel
l
ik
Me:
isi
ttakencar
eof
?
Car
do:
we'
redoi
ngi
tri
ghtnow.
Me:
I'
ll
bet
her
etocheckev
ery
thi
ngout
.
Car
do:
cool
.

Ihungupthecall
.Thenwentt
otheroadwher
eI
ki
ll
edtheguythatwasfol
l
owingLonaand
Cardo.

~~

-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwokeupt henextmor ninganddidmymor ning
rout
ine.ThenIwenttot hegy m.Af
terthegymI
camebackhomeandwashedagai n,
thenwor e
mywhi teshor
tpoloneckdr esswit
hacr opJean
j
acketandwhi t
esandal s.Iti
edmyhairinatight
ponytai l
andmadebabyhai rwi thsomegel .
ThenIwal keddownst air
st otheki tchent oeat
somecer eal.ThenafterIwasdoneIwal kedto
thecampus.Iwasear lysoIr ev isedt he
studyingIdi dlastni
ghtbef oret hecr azy
i
ncidentatMzol i'
sPlace.Ev ent uallytimewas
approachi ngsoIwentt oclass.Ther eIsati n
thefront .IsawKay l
aget t
ingi nt heclass,she
l
ookedl i
kehel l
.Itl
ookedlikeshewashungov er.
Shewaswear ingshadesandherweav ewas
messedup.Shewaswear i
ngj eanshor tswit
ha
pinkcr opt opandpi nk,white, andbl ackcolored
sneaker s.Il ookedawayf rom her ,
shej ustwent
allt
hewayt ot heback.

~~

theexam waseasi
erthanIthoughtitwoul
dbe.
Ismil
edbecauseIknewIdef i
nit
elypassedi
t.I
waswalkingwit
hmyear phonesonand
l
isteni
ngt oBeyoncétheal
bum,Iwaswai t
ing
forMullertocomegetbackhesaidhe'
staking
meshoppi ng.Hecamet ofet
chmeatt he
campusandhedr oveoff
,onther
idehemade
smal l
casualtal
kbyaskinghowtheexam was.

Me:i
twasgr eat.Ievenseea80%pass.Kayl
a
ont
heotherhandcamei nthecl
assl
ookingl
ike
agi
rlwhodidn'ttakeabathaft
erapar
ty.
Mull
er:
*laughs*Inev
erknewwhyy
oul
i
kedt
hat
gi
rl
.
Me:I'
m star
ti
ngtoquest
ionmyment
ali
tyt
oo.I
am happysheisoutofmyli
fe.
Mul
l
er:
arey
our
eal
l
y?
Me:
whatdoest
hatev
enmean?
Mull
er:youtal
kaboutheral
lthet
ime.She'sout
ofyourl
ifenow,sheshoul
dn'
tbesomething
you'
reobsessedwith.
Me:
letmedel
etehernumberandbl
ockher
fr
om myWhatsApp.You'
rer
ight
.ThatKay
la
chapt
eri
sov
er.

XAVI
ER
.
.
.
.
.
pl
easel
etust
aketi
met oappreci
ateXav
ier
bei
ngangr
yandsexyatthesametime
[
02/
17,
16:
42]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT13
.
.
.
×2WEEKSLATER×
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Ipoutedint heair
port.Iwasgoi nghome.The
examswer edoneandnowIhadgobackhome
forEaster'
s.Mybr otherscouldn'tcome
becauset hey'
replanningahei stforanother
bank.Ididn'tevenwantt hefulldetai
ls.Iwas
j
ustupsett hatIwasgoi nghomeal one.Ihada
videocallfr
om Xav i
erandIjustsmi l
edonmy
own.

Xav
ier
:It
houghty
oul
andedal
ready
.
Me:f
li
ghtgotdel
ayed.Theysai
ditshoul
dbe
r
eadyin30minut
es.
Xav
ier
:your
eal
l
yhav
etogo?
Me:
yesot
her
wisei
fIhadachoi
ceIwoul
dn'
tgo.
Xavi
er:
look,l
etmeknowifyouneedany
thi
ng.
YouknowI'l
lal
waysbether
eforyou.
Me:
it'
sjust2weeksI
'
llsur
viv
e.
Xavi
er:Iknowyoucansur
viv
eit.Ij
ustwantyou
tocal
lmei fany
thi
ngyoudon'
tl
ikehappens.
Me:andy
ou'
l
lbei
nEast
ernCapewi
thi
naf
ew
hour
s.
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*y
es.
Me:
youneedt
ost
opdoi
ngt
hat
.
Xavi
er:
callmewhenyouar
ri
vesoIknowy
ou
hav
earriv
edsaf
ely.
Me:
Iwi
l
l.By
e!
Xav
ier
:by
e.

Imadeakissi
ngfaceandhungup.Nomeand
Xavi
erar
enotdati
ng.Theguyistooext
remeif
youaskme,andhe'smyfr
iend.I
magineifwe
dated?Iwoul dn' tbeal lowedt ohangi ncer tain
places, he'l
lalway saskwher eIam.Hemi ght
evenputt rackingdev icesonme.Idon' twant
that.Ilikemypr ivacy ,andhel ooksliket hekind
ofguyt of l
ashhi smoneyonhi sgirl
fri
endal ot.
Idon'twantt hat ,Ilikespendi ngmyownmoney .
That '
swhyI '
mj ustkeepi ngXav ierasaf r
iend
becauseIwon' tlie, her eall
yhasbeent her efor
met hr oughwhat ev erobst acleIhadi nmyl i
fe
theseweeks,hef ixedi tformeandmadesur eI
remai nedwi thasmi leonmyf ace.ButIcan' t
overlookt hef actt hathe' soldert hanme, way
older.AndMul l
erandKi ngwoul dgocr azyi f
theylear nedIam dat i
ngagangst er.Idon' t
wantt hat" gangst erwi fe"li
fest yl
eitist oomuch
formet ohandl e.I t'sbeen2weekswi thout
panicat t
acksandIwoul dliket okeepi tthat
way .Mydest inat i
onwascal l
ed, soIst oodup,
didthepr ocessandwentont hepl ane.
~~
Iwal
kedoutwi
thmybagsandcal
l
edmydad.
Me:
tat
auphi
?(Dadwher
ear
eyou?
)
Tat
a:ndi
yeza!(
I'
m comi
ng!
)
Me:
okay
.

Ihungup.Myf atherisverystr
icttowar dsme.
May beit'
sbecauseIam t heonl ydaught erhe
hasandhewant sev eryt
hingofmi net ogo
perfect
ly.Butsomet imesIwoul dj ustli
keiti
f
hewoul djustsay" i
'
m proudofy ou. "SoIcan
knowi fIhavedoneagoodj obornot .He
arri
vedafteranhourofmewai ti
ng.Hecame
withmyaunt ,hissister
,andmymom.IknowI
am goingtohat ethisri
def r
om EastLondont o
KingWi l
li
amsTown.Il oadedmybagsi nthe
boot.ThenIgoti nthecar.

Me:
mol
weni
.(Gr
eet
ings)
Mama:
baphi
abant
wanabam?(
Wher
ear
emy
chi
l
dren?)
Me:Khaziml
anoYangabashi
yeki
l
e,ma.
(
KhazimlaandYangast
ayedbehi
nd,ma)
Mama:
ngobakut
heni
?(Why
?)
Me:
andazi
,ma.(
Idon'
tknow,
ma)

Mymom i stheonl yfami l

ymemberwhodoesn' t
knowwhatherbel ov ed" children"aredoi ng.The
reasonshe'ssocol dt owar dsisbecauseaf ter
shehadmeshewasdi agnosedwi t
hPost drum
Depressionandshef eltnoconnect i
onatal l
withme.Soev er
ythingst ar tedbeli
ev i
ngIwasa
bewitchedchi l
dandmymom wasal so
bewitchedbecauseshewasaper fectmom t o
MullerandKi ngthenaf termei twasl i
keshe
wasl osi
nghermi nd.Somymom st arted
thi
nkingIwasbewi tchedt ooandwant ed
nothingtodowi t
hme, i
nherey es.Ir uinedher
l
ifeandnowsher eferst oKi ngandMul l
eras
her"favori
te"chil
dren.Ihav elearnedt oget
overitandacceptthatshewi llnevercome
aroundandIwon' treceiveamot her'slove.My
wholefamilystart
edhat i
ngmebecausemy
mom' sdepressionwoul dsomet imesbe
extr
emeandshe' djustshutt hewhol ewor ldout.
Shewoul dnoteat,nottalkt oany onet hewhole
day.Luckil
yKingandMul lerdonotbl ameme
formom' sdepressi
on.Theset hi
ngshappent o
mostmot hersbutinmyf ami ly"sit
hakathiwe"
(we'r
ebewi t
ched)

Thecarwasf i
l
ledwi ththem t alkingabout
thi
ngsi reall
ydidn' tcareabout .Iwassl eepyso
Isl
eptt hrought het hecarr i
def rom ELt oKing
Wil
liamsTown.I twasn' tlongt houghsomynap
wasdi sturbedwhent hecarst opped.Iwokeup
andsawwewer eal readyi ntown.West opped
attherobot s.Thent hecardr ov eof fhomei n
WestBank.Dadpar kedt hecari nsi
det heyard,
I
gotoutandt ookmy2l uggagebagsout .Iwent
i
nsidet hehouset hrought hedoort hatconnects
t
hegar
aget
othehouse.

Mom:ukhawlezekent
ombi,si
ngal
ambiukhona.
(
Huryupgir
l,weshoul
dn'
tst
arv
ewithyouhere)
Me:
ewema.(
Yes,
ma)

Thesepeopl eIcal l
myf ami l
yar ever yold
fashioned.Theyt hi
nkawomani ssupposedt o
doev er y
thingi nthehousehol dwhi l
eamanj ust
providesf orhi sfami l
y .Iwoul dnev ermar ryj
ust
tobeahousewi fe.Nev er!Iplacedmybagsi n
myr oom t henwentt ost artdinnerf orthem.I
wasn' tgoingt oeatdi nnerbecauseI 'm onadi et
meani ngi fIeatmeati thast obei ncheatday s
only.AndIcheatbyj ustonepei ce.Ifinished
cookinganddi shedf ort hem.It ookmom &
dad'sf oodt ot hem int hei rroom.Theyt hanked
meandIwal kedoutagai n.Myauntandher
husbandhav eaf latout side.Itookt hef oodt o
them inat r
ay .Afteral loft hat,Iwashedt he
di
shesandcl
eanedthekit
chencount
ers.ThenI
wenttor
esti
nmyr oom.Itwassti
l
l7pm andI '
m
al
readyt
ir
edsohard.Ir
eceiv
edacallf
rom King.

Me:
pleasecomeback.
Ki
ng:
what
'sgoi
ngon?
Me:they'
reslav
ingmear ound.Daddoesn'
t
evenstopthem anymore.He'
sbecomingmore
andmor ecoldtowardsme.
Ki
ng:li
lsi
s, r
ememberdadwassi ck.Hi
m not
i
nvolvi
nghimselfi
fagoodidea.Wedonotwant
hi
mt ostresstoomuch.We'l
lbetheret
osort
ever
ythi
ngout .
Me:
fine,
when?
Ki
ng:
notsur
eyet
,may
benextweek.
Me:
ugh,
for
getIev
ersai
dany
thi
ng.
King:I
'l
lcal
lyoulat
er.Anddon'tworr
ywe'
l
lbe
theresoonerthanyouthi
nk.Loveyou.
Me:
lov
eyout
oo.

Webot hhungupandt hrewmy selfont hebed.

Somewoul dsayI 'm dramat i
catl eastIhav ea
roofundermyheadandI 'm notphy si
cal l
y
abused.ButIwoul dlovesomel i
ttl
elove.I
woul dr eall
yl oveitifmymom ordadwoul djust
rockupi nmyr oom andaskmehowar emy
examsgoi ngorj usttellmet hey '
reproudofme
foralway skeepi ngmyacademi csbef ore
any t
hing.ButIguesssomef ami li
esar enotthe
sameandmyf amilymaynotbet oomuch
i
nv olvedonemot i
onsandI '
m bei ngdramat i
c.I
playedmusi cthroughmyphoneImadei t
changedt odi fferentsongswi t
houtmyhav i
ng
topr essabut t
onev eryt i
me.Af terLaSauce
featuringAmandaBl ack" IDo"endedanot her
songpl ayed.Myhear tsankdownt omy
stomachwhenIhear di twas" Perfect"byEd
Sheer an.Tear sfeeldownmyey e,ImissOmar
event houghamont hhaspassedsi ncehehas
passedaway .I'
llnev erforgett hepai nIf elt
whenIhear dthenews.Imi sshi m every day,I
calledhi snumberj ustt ohearhi svoicemai l
.I
knowt hiswi llnev ermakemel etgoandIneed
tobecauseOmarwoul dn'twantmet obe
depr essedandcal l
i
nghi snumberj ustt ol i
sten
tohi sv oicemai l
.Ipl ayedt hesongagai nand
criedandcr i
edunt i
l If
eltliket hehur twasof fa
bit.Iwassni ffi
ngandt hi
nki ngaboutour
memor i
es.Myphoner angandIl ookedati t
.It
wasXav ier.Iletitringunanswer edbecauseI
reallydidn'twantt ot alktoany mor er i
ght .Ijust
wantt ot al
kt oOmar .Andhe' sdead, sor ight
nowIdon' twantt ot al
kt oany one.ButXav i
er
didn'tst ophekeptcal li
ngandcal li
ng.Iended
upbei ngupsett hathewoul dn' tj
ustleav eme
alone!Ir eallyappr eciatehi ssuppor tIr eall
ydo
butIj ustneedal itt
lebr eak!

Me:
Rel
l
ikwhat
!?
Xav
ier
:moeni
efokmetmyni
e.(
Don'
tfuckwi
th
me)
Me:
Ineedt
obeal
oner
ightnow.
Xav
ier
:Idon'
tcare.Tel
lmewhat
'
swr
ongorI
'
ll
bei
ntherebytomorrow.
Me:*si
ghs*not
hing.Iam her
esaf
e.I
'
mjust
goi
ngthroughmyemot i
ons.
Xav
ier
:you'
rej
ustcr
yingf
ornot
hing.
Me:
yeah.
Xav
ier
:you'
reacr
ybaby
.
Me:Iknowandyouneedt oletmecr
ywhenI
wantto.AtMzol
i
'syoulookedatme,wel
lgl
ared
atmewhenIwant edt
ocr y.
Xavi
er:
becauseIknowy
ouwer en'
treal
l
ycr
ying
youj
ustdi
dn'twantmei
nthatenvi
ronment
.
Me:
onedaymyt
ear
swi
l
lwor
kony
ou.
Xavi
er:
*chuckl
es*I
'
m nott
heeasi
l
yinf
luenced
ty
pe.
Me:what
?Youalmostwenthome,don'
tact
t
oughbecausewebothy
ou'r
etoosweet.
Xav
ier
:Iam notsweet
.St
opl
yi
ng
Me:yesyouare.*l
aughs*whyar
eyoudeny
ing
i
t?It
hinkit
'snothi
ngtobeashamedof
.
Xavier
:Lel
ona,Iam notsweet .Weakpeopl
e
aresweet,Iam not
.Beingsweetisaweakness
thatcangetyoukil
ledhier
.(here)
Me: speaki
ngofget
ti
ngki
l
led.Whowas
fol
lowingmeandCardo?Wecoul
d'
vedi
ed
becauseofhim
Xav
ier
:It
ookcar
eofi
t.
Me:
that
'snotwhatI
'
m aski
ng.
Xavier
:*l
aughs*whydoyouneedtoknow
becausehe'
llnev
erbot
heryouagai
n?
Me:
pleasedon'
ttel
lmey
ouki
l
ledhi
m..
..

Thel
i
newentsi
l
entf
orawhi
l
e,myhear
t
star
tedbeati
ngfastIwasscar
edthatImaybe
thereasonbehi
ndsomeoneelse'
sdeath.

Xav
ier
:no.Justr
oughenedhi
m up.
Me:
youscar
edmet
her
e!It
houghty
oudi
d.
Xav
ier
:ifIdi
d-
Me:Iwouldhavedroppedmyphoneandnev er
t
alktoyoueveragain.Iwoul
dneverhave
f
orgi
venyoubecauseI '
dhavetheconsci
enceof
amanisdeadbecauseofme
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-

thi
siswhyIwoul dnevert
ell
LonawhatIdof or
her.Shehasafragi
lehear
tandmybabycan' t
takeever
ythi
ngin.Shecri
esalotandal
way s
seesthegoodinsomeoneandt hat'
swhatIli
ke
anddon' tli
keabouther .Idislikei tbecause
peoplewi llt
aket hati ntotheiradv ant age
becauseshe' ssosweetandseest hegoodness
i
npeopl etheywi lluseherandhur theri nt he
end.Ilikeitbecauseev enthoughIki llpeopl e
anddoal ltypesofwr ongt hingsshest illsees
thegoodi nmeandj ustsmi lesatmemakesmy
darklifehav ebright nesswi thj usthersmi l
e.
That '
swhyIdon' twanthert oknowt henumber
ofpeopl eIki l
ledforher .Wehav eknowneach
otherforlikeamont handIhav eal readyki lled3
peoplebecauseofher .BecauseofwhatIf eel
forher.Andbecauseshe' sfragi le,it'sal soa
disadvantageIcan' tjustaskhert obemi ne
becauseshe' sstil
lcaughtupwi thf eel i
ngsf or
thatweakboyOmar .Shemaynotseei tnow,
butshef i
ndscomf or ti
nme.Herf eel ingswi ll
starttodev elopandI '
llbeal lshewant s.Then
that'
swhenImakemymov e,becauseImake
mymov enowwhi leshe' sst i
ll"inlov e"wi th
Omar ,she'llneverf ull
ycommi tt ome.Shewi l
l
alwaysfeelguil
tyli
keshehasmovedontoo
fast
.Andshe' l
lstar
tcompari
ngmet oOmar,
andthatwillpi
ssmet hefuckof
f.SoIwi
llr
ather
waitthentoloseherforev
er.
~~
Iwalkedinsidemyuncl e'
shouseandIhear d
voi
cest al
king.Ifol
lowedthevoicesanditwas
myuncl eandaunt .Theywerealllov
eydovey
watchingTV, Icamei nwhil
etheywer eki
ssi
ng.

Me:
okay
,It
hinkIhav
eseenenough.
Ghost
:di
smyt
uis.(
Thi
sismyhome)
Fif
i:y
ouruncl
etel
l
smet
her
e'saspeci
all
adyi
n
yourli
fe.
Me:*chuckl
es*yes.Andineedtospeakt
o
Ghostaboutsomethingur
gent.
Fi
fi
:i
t'
sal
way
sbusi
nesswi
thy
ouboy
s.I
'
llbei
n
myroom.
ShekissedGhost,
andwhenshegotuphe
grabbedherass.Ichuckl
ed.

Fi
fi
:st
op.*
blushes*

Shekissedmycheekandwalkedupst
air
sonce
Ihear
dherdoorclose,
that
'swhenIst
art
ed
tal
ki
ng.

Me:
IwantKennydead.
Ghost
:woah.Notgoi
ngt
ohappen.
Me:si
ncewhenhav
eyouev
erbeenscar
edof
war
?
Ghost:y
ouknowI'm notscar
edatall.I
'
m
thi
nki
ngaboutt
heout comesofthewar .Pl
ent
y
ofpeopl
ewil
lgethurtanddiebecauseofa
stupi
dgangwar.No!
Me:Idon'tgi
veafuck.Hehasbeen
di
srespecti
ngthef
uckoutofmeandIwanthi
m
deal
twith.
Ghost:Xavi
er,y
ou'r
enotgoi
ngt okil
lKenneth.
Thinkofall
thefamil
ymember sthatwil
ldi
e.
Theinnocentpeopl
e.Andthatspecial
girl
in
yourli
fe
Me:
Icanpr
otectLel
ona.*
angr
y*
Ghost:
shewill
gethurtnomatterwhaty
out r
y.
Herfamil
ywil
lgetpull
edint
othiswhati
fyou
havebusi
nesstotakecar
eofandsheget shurt
whenyou'r
eonbusinesstri
ps?
Me:
I'
ll
takeherwi
thme.
Ghost:
Isaidno!*
yel
l
s*andwe'
renott
alki
ng
aboutt
hisagai
n.

ThenmyauntFif
iwalkedinagai
n,t
hat
'
swhenI
knewshehear
dev er
ythi
ng.
Fi
fi:You'reabouttorunt
hegang.Youhaveto
l
ear nthatsometimesnotdoi
nganythingi
s
doingal ot.Murderdoesal
wayssolveever
y
problem.
Me:soIshouldl
ethi
m disr
espectme?People
wi
ll
thinkI
'm apussy
.Ineedtosorthi
m out
.
Fi
fi:t
herei
snowarthati
sgoi
ngtohappen!We
hadt r
ucewit
hthem y
ear
sagoandwe'r
enot
breaki
ngit
!
Me:we?Si
ncewhenwer
eyouapar
toft
he
gang?
Ghost
:hey
!Eksal
joubenebr
eek!(
I'
ll
breaky
our
l
egs)
Fif
i:noI'
m notinthegangbutallt
hebul l
shi
t
youdocost sus,t
hewi ves.Wegetkidnapped,
wegetat t
acked,all
typesofdangershappent o
usjustbecausewef ell
inlovewi
th"gangsters"
theminutewef al
linlovewit
hgangsters.We
areinthegangbecausewegethur ttoosoy ou
guyscanf eel
theemot i
onalpai
nfrom our
physi
calpain.Don'
tstar
tsomet hi
ngyour
speci
algir
,Lelonawil
lplayfor
.Besmar tabout
yourmovesnowRel li
k.Thinkasaboss, notas
asecondincommandwher eyouwanttokill
every
one.
Me: i
sn'
tthatwhyI
'
m Rell
ik?Iam aKill
er.I
t'
s
whoIam andIwon'tchangemyselfbecause
I
'm abouttobeaboss.
Fi
fi
:well
youneedt
o.Nowar
,that
'
sthef
inal
say
.
Ri
ghtbaby?
Ghost
:yes.

Theypeckedeachot hersli
ps.Iwasannoy edby
theirlovesomuchIst oodupandwentf ora
smoket ocal
m myner vesdown.Whilesmoking
IthoughtabouthowKennycoul dfi
ndLona
sinceshe'sinEaster
nCapenowandIcan' t
protectherli
keIwantt o.Ical
ledKurttocheck
wher eKenny'swhereaboutswer eifhewasi n
East ernCapethenI'
l
l sendJRt owatchmywi fe
l
ikeahawktoensur
eshe'
sallsafeandnot
hing
happenst
oherwhil
eshe'
sthere.

Kur
t:Rel
l
ik.
Me:fi
ndoutifKennyi
ssti
ll
int
own,
Ineedan
answeri
nlessthanaday
.
Kur
t:okay
.

Ihungupandwentbackt
othehouseandFi
fi
wasprepar
ingl
unch.

Fif
i:si
tdown, I
'
llmakeyousomethi
ngtoo.I
wanty outotel
lmeallaboutt
hisgi
rlt
hathas
yougoi ngcr
azy.

Ij
ustchuckl
edandsatdownasshepr oceeded
fi
nishi
ngthemealonthekitchencount
er.Then
Istart
edt
ell
ingheraboutLelona
~~
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-

Iwokeupt hefoll
owingdayfeel
ingreal
lysleepy.
Idi
dn'tenj
oymysl eepatall
.Andont opoft hatI
havetowakeupear l
ytodomychor es.Thisis
whyIhatereturni
nghome.Theyar et
rai
ning
met obethe"perfectwi
fe"andIjustwanttosit
downandt extonmyphoneal lday.

Mama: ukhawl
ezekentombi,f
unekasiy
e
kwaShopri
tephaeMall
.(Hur
ryupgirl
,wehav
e
togotoShopri
teatt
hemal l
)
Me:
it'
sChecker
s.
Mama:
heh?(
What
?)
Me:
nguChecker
smamal
owo.
Mama:
bay
afanawet
hu.(
they
'r
eal
i
ke)
IwantedtodisagreebutIknewitwouldbea
neverendingl
ectureabouthowIthinkI
'm bet
ter
becauseitknowmor esoIjustchuckl
edand
smiled.

Mama:ukheunxibeilokweLel
ona,
kushushu.
(
weardressesLelona,i
t'
shot)
Me:
ewemama.(
Yesmom)
Mama: ikhonaeny
ebendikuthengel
eyona
uzoyi
thanda( t
her
e'sonethatIboughtf
oryou
you'
l
lloveit)
~~
Iwasst roll
i
ngt hroughChecker sl
ookingf orthe
perfectsaucesf ormymot herwhoisv erypicky!
Iwaswear i
ngthedr esssheboughti twasabi t
cream andy el
low.I twasnott i
ghtnorwasi ttoo
baggy .Itwasshor tt hough.Iletmyhai rl
oose.
Fi
nal l
yafterIf
oundt het heSpursauceshe
want edIrantot het i
llsandshewasst i
lli
nl i
ne.
Wepaidthenwentt
othecar
.Af
terIl
oaded
ev
ery
thingint
hecarwedrov
eoff
.

Mama: ukheufikeucl
ean'
eeza'
curt
ainskudal
a
zimdakakodwangoku!(Whenwear ri
veclean
thecurt
ains.Theyhavebeendi
rt
yforalong
ti
me)

Imumbledundermybr
eat
hfr
ust
rat
edt
hatIam
asl
aveapha.

Me:
haynindi
capukel
akakubi
apha(y
ouhat
e
mebadl
yhere)
Mama:
andi
va?(
Par
don?
)
Me:
andi
thet
hi,
ma.(
I'
m notsay
ingany
thi
ng,
ma)
Mama: Lelonasi
kufundi
sil
e,ezi
pahlauzi
nxibayo
kungexayetu,
utyaukuty
akwendluy am,zange
walambaebomi nibakhobonke.Zangewalala
ugodol angexay etuuphindeut hi siyakucapukel a
ngobasi kuthuma!?Hayukheundi bide.Ngoba
sifunanj eibreakekusebenzeni uthi
siyakucapukel a?Sasi ngani kwaneBr eak' ike
thinamnandi yakuy ekaukheuphol eul alaemi ni
kodwauy andixel el
abandi yakucapukel a.Inoba
awul azi neligamacapukel al i
mel ent oni njeba
ulisebenzi sanj e.( Lel
onawegav ey ouan
educat i
on, thosecl ot
hesy ouwearbecauseof
us, youeatt hef oodinmyhouse, youhav e
nev erst arvedy ourentir
el i
fe.Younev erf elt
col dbecauseofusandy ousaywehat ey ou
becauseweor dery ouar ound!?No, youconf use
mesomet i
mes.Becauseweonl ywantabr eak
from t hewor k, andy ousaywehat ey ou.We
wer enev ergiv enbr eaks, andIl etyousl eepin
mi ddaybuty out el
lmeIhat ey ou.May bey ou
don' tev enknowwhatt hewor dhat emeans
you' r
ej ustusi ngi t
.)

Ir
egr
ett
edev
ensay
ingt
hatbecauseIknewan
l
ect
urewasont
heway
.Iwi
l
lnev
erheart
heend
oft
his.

.
.
.
.
.
Pleasetagpeopletor
eadt hest
ory
,sharei
t,l
i
ke
i
t,invi
tepeopl
e.Doany t
hingyoucan,Iwoul
d
reall
yappreci
ateit
[
02/
17,
16:
43]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT14
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-

i
twasal ready3pm andt heloadofthenew
gir
lswasescor tedoutoft hebigtr
uckandinto
thebigship.Theywer ebeingshippedtoAsia.I
am invol
vedinhumant r
affi
cki
ngdeali
ngs
becauseitbringsinal otofmoneyaswel l
especial
l
ywheny ouconv ertit
.Thegirl
swere
all
chainedandcr ying.Tearsdon'
tworkonme
atall
.

Me:
that
'sal
loft
hem?
OG:
yeah.
Me:
theyar
e50gi
rl
s,
meani
ng2ar
emi
ssi
ng
OG:
Rel
l
ik-
Me:fi
ndthem qui
ckl
yoryou'
ll
loseyourhands
si
nceyoucan'
tusethem pr
operl
y.
OG:
theyescapedand-
Me:
don'
tweputt
racker
sonal
lgi
rl
s?
OG:
wedobut
-
Me:don'tf
uckwit
hmymoney,
OG.CallKur
tto
t
rackthem.Thosegi
rl
sar
ewort
halotofmoney.
OG:
yes,
boss.

Hehurri
edtomakeaphonecall.Idon'tl
ikei
t
whenpeopleplaywit
hmoney.Iam ar i
chman
becauseIl
earnednottopl
aywit
hmoney .I
fI
l
oseR150000becauseofOG.I 'l
lki
llhim.
~~
Final
lythegir
lswerefoundandboughtbackto
theship.Theywerescreaming,
shouti
ngand
kicki
ngbutOGknockedt hem outandtheywer
e
putintheship.

Me:t
heshi
pneedstohurr
yup,we'r
ealready
l
atei
nthedeadl
i
neandthepol
icecoul
dcome
i
nanymi
nut
e.

Just30mi nut
esafter
,theshipwasgone.I
drovebackhome.Thet imewasnow5: 04pm so
Iatesomef oodandwat chedsomesoccer.
Aftert
hemat ch,
Itext
edLona.Iwasmi ssi
ng
herabit.

Me:
howar
ethi
ngsi
ntheEC?
wi
fey
:gr
eat
,justgr
eat
.
Me:
wantt
otal
kabouti
t?
wif
ey:wel
lmymom heardmesayt
heyhateme
andshe'
sbeenshout
ingi
nherr
oom ev
ersince.
Me:
whathappened?
wifey:
they'
reslav
ingmear oundandIj
ustsaid
theyhateme,shewasof fendedandst
art
ing
givi
ngmeal ectureal
langry.Nowshelocked
hersel
finherroom,andshehasbeenshout i
ng.
Me:
nowIseewhyy
ou'
resof
ragi
l
e.
wi
f ey
:yes,becauseshe'salway sshout
ingand
or
deringmear oundl i
keI'
mf orcedtodo
every
thinghere.I
t'
sl i
keshe'
snotmymom, we
ar
enot hingal
ike.She'st
oobossyand
j
udgement al
.Wayt oodif
ferentfr
om me.
Me:
butshest
il
ll
ovesy
ou.I
t'
stoughl
ove
wif
ey:
shehasafunnywayofshowingi
t.She
hat
esme.Youwouldn'
tunder
stand.
Me:
yeah,
Iwoul
dn'
t.

Shebl
uet
ickedme.Ihat
eitwhenshedoesthat
.
Iwant
edtocall
herbutKur
tsentamessage.

Kur
t:he'
sst
il
li
nher
e,butmysour
cesay
she'
s
l
eavi
ngtowntomor
row.
Me:
wher
eishegoi
ng?
Kur
t:t
hesour
cedi
dn'
tment
ioni
t.It
hinkt
ohi
s
home.

Fuck!NowIneedt ogosendoneofmyguy s
theretokeepLonasaf e.andmakesur eKenny
doesn'tevengetcloset oher.I '
l
lsendabout5
guy swit
hJRi ncaseKennyandhi sgangwantt o
startsomethingthenI'l
lreall
yshowhi m what
I'
m madeof .Hecl earl
yunder esti
mat esme, j
ust
becauseofaf ucki
ngtruce.Ismokedweedt o
calm my sel
fdownaf ter3j oi
ntsthat'
swhenI
knewIwashi gh.Imissedmywi fe'
sf aceand
voicesoIv i
deocal l
edher .Shedidn'tanswerat
all
.Itri
edher5t imesandshedi dn'tanswerat
all
.Icall
edJR.

JR:
bozza(
boss)
Me:roundt
heboy
sup,
we'
regoi
ngt
othe
East
ernCape.
JR:
fedef
ede,
boss.(
Shar
pshar
p,boss)
Idroppedthephonecallandwentt ot hemy
room topack.Ionl
ytookneededcl othessothe
packingonlytookme1hour .Aft
erpackingI
tri
edv i
deocall
ingLonaagain.Shepickedup
andIwasangr ythatshedidn'tt
hefir
stt i
me.

Me:whythef
uckdi
dn'
tyouanswert
hephone,
Lel
ona!
?
Lona:*sni
ff
s*XavierI
'mreal
lynoti
nthemood
togetshoutedbecauseIhav
ejustbeen
shout
edr i
ghtnow.
Me:
Iam comi
ngt
othatt
own.
Lona:
what
!?No!
Me:
whynot
?
Lona:
whyar
eyoucomi
ngov
erher
e?
Me:becausey
ouhavebeencr
yingfor2days
st
rai
ght.Andi
tseemsl
ikeMul
lerandKing
ar
en'
tgoi
ngt
obebacksoon.
Lona:
butdon'
tyouhav
est
ufft
odo?*
sni
ff
s*

Ichuckl
edshesaysshedoesn'
twantmet
her
e,
butherpout
ingandcry
ingt
ell
smeshewants
met her
e.

Me:areyoucryi
ngbecauseyouwantmet her
e,
orar
ey oucr
yingbecauseyougotshout
ed?
Lona:
don'
tfl
att
ery
our
sel
f.*
smi
l
es*
Me:
final
l
yasmi
l
e.
Lona:I
'
m ser
ioust
hough,
donotcomeher
e.I
'
m
fi
ne.
Me:yousayyou'
refi
ne,
buty
oucr
yingi
snot
say
ingyou'
refi
ne.
Lona:y
ouknowI
'
m acrybaby
.I'
mjustgoi
ng
thr
oughmyemot
ions.
Me:
*chuckl
es*y
ouar
eoneoft
hest
rangest
f
emal
esIknow.Cr
yingj
ustf
orcr
ying?
Lona:mxm,Ihavetogo.Ihav
etost
artf
ini
sh
cooki
ng.I
'
llcal
lyoul
ater
.
Me:
shar
p
Lona:
anddon'
tcomeher
e.
Me:
notpr
omi
sing
Lona:
Xav
ier
-
Me:
byeLona.
Lona:
mxm,
bye.

Ichuckledthenwebothhungup.I'
m st
il
lgoi
ng
toEasternCapebecauseIneedtomakesure
Kennydoesn'ttr
yanythi
ngtoher
.Becausehe
alsol
ivesinKingWil
li
amsTown
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Ismi l
edaf terthev ideocal l
becausenomat ter
howmuchhesay st earsdon'taffecthim, as
soonIcr yhe' swi l
l
ingl ytofl
yandcomesee
what '
sbot heringme.Hecar esf ormej ustas
muchasIcar eforhi m.Iwentt ot hekitchen
andf i
nishedcooki ngt hemi ncemeat .Ther i
ce
andv eggieswer eal r
eadydone, nowal lIhadto
dowasdi shupf orev eryoneandwasht he
dishes.Ididj ustthat ,t
henaf terthedishes.I
wentt omyr oom, tomor r
owIhav etogetmy sel
f
somev eganf oodt oeatbecauseImi ghtdiein
hungerher e.Icoul dn'tstandmyhungersoI
mademy selfsomeboi l
edeggsandt ooksome
bread.

Mama:
wenzant
oni
?(Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
)
Me:ndenzaamaqandaa'
boi
l
'i
wey
omama.(
I'
m
makingboi
ledeggsmama)
Mama:ukut
yaokuukupheki
l
eyokut
heni
?(what
i
swrongwit
hthefoodyoumade?)
Me:
I'
m onadi
et.
Mama:
i'
di
et*
laughs*

Shewasmaki nginthesenoiseswhil
eshewas
l
aughing.Shereal
lylaughedli
keItol
dagood
j
oke,i
tmademef eelsooffended.ButIf
aked
l
it
tl
elaughs.

mama: kawut
shokeuy
iqal
eni
nil
e'di
et
*chuckl
es*(
sotel
lmewhendidyoustar
tthi
s
diet
)
Me:
ngoJanuar
y.(
InJanuar
y)
Mama:yi
lont
ouhli
leeWei
ghti
nbendi
zixel
elaba
i
nobaut
shayaint
sangonal
aKayl
andini(that
's
whyyouhavelostwei
ghtIwast
ell
i
ngmy sel
f
maybeyou'
resmokingweedwit
hthatKayl
a)
Me:akay
otshomi
yam ngoku(
she'
snotmy
f
ri
endnow)
Mama: wazewabonai l
ightlomntana.Jongake
ntombi,aphaendl i
niy
am kut y
iwalento
i
phekiweyof orwonkeumnt u.(fi
nall
ythi
schil
d
seesthelight.Lookgir
l,hereinmyhousewe
eatfoodthatwascookedf orevery
one)
Me:
kodwamama-(
butmom-
)
Mama: hey!Sundi
phambanelaLelona!
Uzokwenzaezontozakhozokuziphakamisapha
eKapa!(Don'
tgocrazyonmeLel ona!You'l
ldo
yourst
uckupt hi
ngsinWesternCape!
Me:
okay
.
Mama:
okay
,ba?(
Okay
,who?
)
Me:
okay
,mama.
Mama:ci
maesostove'
unaleket
il
e(t
urnof
f
t
hatst
oveandt
hiskett
le)
IdidasIwast ol
dwit
hmyhear tbr
okenint
oa
mill
ionpieces.Iwasnottr
yingt omakemy sel
f
l
ookl i
keI'm bett
ert
hanthem Idon'teatt
heir
food,butI'
m onadiet.ButIguesst omymom,
I'
ml yi
ngandIam beingstuckup.Iwasaboutt o
gotomyr oom whenshepul l
edmeback.

Mama:
ity
aokukut
ya(
eatt
hisf
ood.
)
Me:
mama-
Mama:hey!I
tyaokukut
yauyekel
entouyenzay
o!
(
Eatt
hisfoodandstopyouaredoi
ng!)

Sheroughlypul
ledmetowar dsthekit
chen
counter
.Shetookmyplateandopenedi twit
h
somuchf orceIwasshockedt hatshewasthi
s
angrybecauseIwoul
dn'teatthefood.
Tat
a:kwenzakant
oni
apha(
what
'
shappeni
ng
her
e?)
Me:
tat
a-(
dad-
)
Mama: l
omntanauzenzauml unguapha
akakut
yiukut
yaesikut
yayo.(
Thischil
disact
ing
l
ikeawhitepersonshedoesn'teatf
oodweeat.)
Me:andi
zami ukuzenzabeter
emama,qha
ndi
kwi'
diet
.(I
'
m nott r
yingt
omakemyselfst
uck
upbutI'
m onadi et
)
Mama:
uyaxokaman!*
yel
l
ing*(
you'
rel
yi
ng!
)
Tata:
Lelona,
iyaeroominyakho.Ndizothet
ha
nomamawakho.( Lelona,
gotoy ourroom.Iwil
l
tal
ktoyourmother.)

Iwenttomyr oom wi
thtear
s,Iqui
ckl
ywi
ped
them.Icoul
dhearthei
rargumenti
nmyroom.

Mama:
umoshweni
nil
omnt
ana!Ni
yamt
efi
sa!
(
youar
erui
ningt
hechi
l
d!You'
rebaby
'i
ngher
)
Tat
a:usengumtanauLel
ona!Una18(
Lel
onai
s
st
il
lababy.She'
s18!)
Mama: uzot
yalentosiyi
tyayookanyeubuyel
a
aphaavelakhona!(She'
l
l eatwhatwe'
reeati
ng
orshe'
l
l gobacktowher eshecamef r
om.)

Idecidedtoputonear phonest ozonet hem out ,

Itookoutmyj ournalandst art
edwr i
ti
ngabout
howmymot herj
usthat esmel ikeIdidn'tcome
outofherwomb.Shesay sshedoesn' thateme
butheractionssaytheopposi teofherwor ds.I
am hungry,andIam bei ngtreatedlikeasl avein
myownhome.Mybr other saren'tevenher et o
defendme.I t'
sli
kethewhol ef amilyisagai nst
me.Iam sur edadwi l
l takehersi deandi wi l
l
j
ustst ar
vefortoday.Thent omor rowIwi llwake
upandeatcer eal.IwishXav i
erwasher e,he
would'veparkedoutsideandt ookme
somewher ewher eIcoul dhav eboughtf oodt o
actual l
yeat .Hewoul dj ustmakemyday
bright erwi thhi sraresmi leandheal waysl i
cks
hislipsf ir
stthenl ooksatmewi ththemost
amazi ngey esev erandgi vesmeal ookIcan' t
descr i
bet henhej ustchuckl es.Buther arely
l
aughsagenui nel augh.Ifhedoest henhe' l
l
fi
rstshakehi sheadl ooki ngdownandl augh.I t'
s
suchagoodl ookonhi m.Whenhesmi l
es,I
don' tt hi
nkany onenot i
cesbuthi slowert eet h
alsoappearwhenhesmi l
es.Andhi seyesl itup,
that'swhyIwanthi mt osmi l
eforev erbecauseI
j
ustl ov ehissmi l
e.Iclosedmyj ournalsmi l
i
ng
afterwr iti
ngaf ullparagraphaboutXav i
er .I
don' tknowwhati shappeni ngtomebutImi ss
him.I '
m usedt ohi m cal l
i
ngme.Car dopl usme
meet inghi mi nt own" randoml y
"butIknow
Car doal way st el
lshim aboutourwher eabout s.
IwentonmyWhat sAppanddeci dedt oposti n
myst atus.Ibl ockedMul lerandKi ngf i
rstf r
om
seei ngmyst atusesbef oreIcoul dev enpost
thatpi cture.Itwasapi ctureofmeandXav ier
whenhet ookmeoutf orsomei ce-
cream af t
er
Omar 'smemorial
funeral.Icapt
ionedi t"Imiss
you "thenIlookedatmyphone.I twas
boring.Nownewmessagesatal lf
rom any one.
Thenmyphonev i
bratedandIwasshockedt o
receiveaWhatsAppmessagef rom Zikhona.My
hearttol
dmenott oopeni tbutmycur iosi
tyand
mindt ol
dmet oopeni t.SoIdid.

Zee :
soy
ou'
reoneofRel
l
ik'
sbi
tchesnow?

Shewasr eplyi
ngtothepictureIpost
ed.Iknew
ri
ghtawayt hatshemusthav esenta
screenshottoher"f
ri
end"Kay l
a.Idi
dn'
twantto
replybutIwaspissedoffthatshewouldinmy
business.

Me:
howdoest
hatconcer
nyou?
Zee :awuzi
thandint
ombi emt
winiwomnt
u
(y
oudon'
tl
oveyoursel
fdat
ingatakenman)
Me:Iwoul
dn'
tst
oopt
oyourl
evel
.Iknowmy
wor
th.
Zee :knowy ourwort
h?Haylol! thenwhy
arey
oufucki
ngKayla'
slef
tov
ers?PhofKayl
a'
s
man.

Ij
ustlookedatmyphoneinshock.Kay
lais
dat
ingXav i
er?I
sn'
tshedati
ngScrappy?

Me:
they
'r
enotdat
ing.
Zee :Ibethetol
dyouthatl
ie.y
ou'l
lal
way
s
behi
shoenothi
ngmore.Acceptthat
Me:
mxm.

ThenIbl
ockedher
.Iwasmoreangr
ythatKay
la
andXavi
erhadsex.I
nmyangerIt
ookalotof
scr
eenshot
sfr
om ourchat
sthensentt
hem t
o
Xavi
er.

Me:
pleaset
ell
met
hisi
sn'
ttr
ue.

Hedidn'
treply
.Itwasonetickmeani nghe'
s
off
li
ne.Itri
edcall
i
nghim butitwentstrai
ghtt
o
voi
ce-mail
.Ipacedupanddownmyr oom.I
can'
tbel
ieveKayl
ahadsexwi thXavier!
.
.
.
-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Ithr
ewmyphoneont hecouch.Iwasupset
aboutt
heconver
sati
onZikhonahadwit
hLelona.
Moreupsett
hatsheblockedmebecauseIwas
abouttogiv
eherapi eceofmymi nd.Zikhona
evensentmet hepi
ctureandIlookedati t
.He
wassmi l
i
ng,likeactuall
ysmili
ngnotamean
smil
ethatheal wayshasbutagenui nehappy
smil
e.Timet ogetthisbitchoutofhisli
fe.
There'
snowayshe' sgoi ngtoplaythewiferole
tomyman.It extedSky l
arthepictur
eofRel l
i
k
andLona.

Me: sher eall

ydidn'
tcareaboutOmar .Ithas
onlybeenl ikewhat?Amont handshe' salr
eady
mi ssinganotherman.Shenev erposteda
pictureofOmarnorev ensaidR. I
.Ptohim.
She'sr eall
ywrongforthis.Ican'
tbeli
ev eshe'
s
l
iket his.ThankGodIst oppedbeingf ri
ends
withher .

Withi
n30minut
esSky
larr
eadt
hemessage,
and
sherepl
i
ed.
Skyl
ar : IneverknewLonawasabi t
chlike
thi
s!Iam trulyhur
tbythi
s.Omarlov
edherso
muchy etshegoesandf uckswit
hadirtylow
l
ifegangster.She'
safool,
Ihopehetakeshis
angeroutonherandki l
lsherf
orbei
ngl i
kethis.
Me:she'
sreal
lyabadper
sont
hatl
ovespl
ayi
ng
vi
cti
mt oever
ythi
ng.
Skyl
ar : she'l
lpayforthi
s.Iwantherso
humili
atedthatshe'
llr
egretpl
ayi
ngmyf ri
end
l
ikethatevenafterhi
sdeath.
Me:r
ight
!Shecoul
dn'
twaitacoupl
emore
mont
hs.Maybeshedidn'
tevenwantOmar,
he
wasj
ustatoytoher
.Sheneedstopayforthi
s.

Skyl
ardi
dn'
trepl
y,Iwai
tedf
orhert
hen10
minut
eslat
ershedid.

Sky
lar
:checkOmar
'sf
acebookaccount
.
Iquicklywentt oFacebookandsear chedfor
Omar 'saccountIwasf oundapi ct
ureSky l
ar
postedi twast hepicturei senttoherandshe
taggedOmarandLona.Wi ththecaption"i
t
hasn'tev enbeen2mont hsandal r
eadyshehas
mov edonf r
om myf ri
end.Whatahoe "I
l
aughedsuperhar d,andsmi l
ed.Atthisrat
e,
Lonawi llprobablynotfinishthisyear.Iwil
l not
beshockedi fshekillsherself.She'
st oofragil
e
anyway .

Me:Skylar
! you'
resogood.Iwonderhow
she'
llf
eeli
fevery
oneoncampussawt hepicof
herandXavierwri
ttenHOEonit
Skylar
:I'
m goi
ngtodothat especi
all
yonour
fi
rstdayback.Thi
sbi
tchmessedwit
hthe
wrongone.

Ismil
ed.Sky
larwaseasyt
omanipul
ate,so
easy
.Itri
edcal
li
ngKhanyi
agai
nbecauseI
missedher.Butasal way svoice-
mai l
.Ihaven'
t
seenheraftertheclubi ncident.Iheardshe
wasatherboy fri
end'shouseandhei snowher e
tobefoundandhert oo.Ihopesher eturnsnext
semesterbecauseImi ssher .Shewoul dbe
givi
ngmei deasrightnow.Ihopeshe' sfine
whereversheis.Idon'tev enknowher
grandmother'
snumberbecauseIwoul d'
v e
call
edtoaskwher eshei s..
.
~~
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Igotupwi t
hmyst omachupsett
ingit
self.Iwas
hungrysomucht hatIhadaheadache.Iwoke
upandt heti
mewas3am.Isneakedt othe
ki
tchentotakesomebr eadandmakej ui
cethen
Isneakedtomyr oom agai
n.Iat
et hebread
thendrankjuice.Ifrownedt hi
nkingaboutwhat
I'
m doing.Iam sneakingaroundt akingfoodin
myownhome.Af terIwasdone, Iwassi lent
ly
cryi
ng.Icouldn'tt
akei tanymore.Icall
edMul ler
becauseIknowhe' l
lreactandhe'lldo
somethingoutf ast.WhileKingwoul dwantme
total
kwi thmom

Mul
l
er:
lel
ona.
..*
tir
ed*

Icoul
dhearhewasst
il
lti
redf
rom sl
eepi
ngbutI
wassaidsoIwassni
ff
edtodoshowhi m Iwas
wascryi
ng.

Mul
l
er:
kwenzekant
oni
?(What
'
sgoi
ngon?
)
Me: shewouldn'tal
lowmet omakef ood
becauseIam onadi et
.Shewantedtoforceme
toeat.Shelit
erall
ypulledmeroughlytoeat.I
fit
wasn'tforDad,shewoul dhav
eforceful
ly
pushedthespoonwithfoodi
nmymout h.I
didn'
teatatal
landIhadtowakeupatthisti
me
tosneaktothekit
chenandgetf
ood.*
cries*I
wanttocomebackt oCapeTown.
Mul l
er:I
'l
ltal
ktoher .Don'tworry,shewon'
tdo
anythingelseagain.Utheninaumama( what'
s
wrongwi thmama? )I'
l
lsendy oumoneyandy ou
cangot ot heshopst ogetany t
hingyouwantto
eat.Okay?We' l
ltalkbett
erlat
eron.
Me:
okay
.Lov
eyou.
Mul
l
er:
lov
eyout
oo.

WebothhungupandIt ri
edsleepingbuti
twas
nouse,Iwasnott
iredatall
.Itr
iedcall
i
ngXavi
er
agai
nlucki
lyt
hist
imeheanswer ed.

Me:
final
l
y!
Xav
ier
:sor
ry,
Iwasbusy
.
Me:
oh,
Icancal
lnextt
ime.
Xav
ier
:was,
pastt
ense.What
'sup?
Me:
whatdoy
oumeanwhat
'
sup?
Xavier:
younevercal
lme.I'
m usual
l
ytheone
thatcall
syou,sothatmeansyouneedsome
seri
ouscheeri
ngupory ou'
rebei
ngacrybaby
andy oumissme.
Me:
I'
m st
il
lmadaty
ou.
Xav
ier
:Idi
dn'
tfuckt
hathoe.
Me:
wel
lthat
'snotwhatIhear
d-
Xavi
er:wellyouneedtost opbeliev
ingever
y one.
That'
swhyy ougethur tsoeasil
ybecausey ou
l
etpeoplecont r
olyoubyy ouremot i
ons.Why
wouldIli
eaboutf ucki
ngKay l
a?Ev eryonehas
hadher,Idon'twanther.Shet r
iedtofuckme
butIdocurvedher .
Me:
I..
.Ibel
i
evey
ou.I
t'
sjustt
hatKay
la-
Xav
ier
:Kay
lanot
hing.I
'
m sur
eyoucal
l
edmef
or
somet
hingmor
eimpor
tantr
athert
hanKay
la.
Me:
I'
m st
arv
ingt
hat
'swhyIcal
l
ed.
Xav
ier
:what
?*chuckl
es*
Me:mymom wentcr azyonmeandI'
m not
al
lowedtoeatunlessIeatfoodt
hati
sthesame
asever
yoneelse'
s.
Xavi
er:
giv
emey ouraddr
essandI
'l
lcomepi
ck
youuptomor
rowtogetsomefood.
Me:myaddr
ess?You'
l
lpi
ckmeupt
omor
row?
Whatar
eyousayi
ngXavi
er?
Xavier
:I'
m her
e.Imustsay
,yourt
owni
sn'
tal
l
thatgr
eat.

Heeeh!Itol
dhi
m heshoul
dn'
tcomeandhej
ust
di
dn'tl
ist
entome.
[
02/
17,
16:
43]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT15
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Aftermycal lwithXav ierIdecidedt ogetsome
sleep,2hour sl aterIwokeupagai nbecauseof
myal arm.Ir ushedt odomymor ningrout i
ne
thenwor eabl acksweat s,wi
thmynew
sneaker s,t
hatXav ierbought.Ihav etogi vehim
hisR1100backf orreal.Imademy selfcereal
andqui cklyat ebef oremymom wakesupand
want stost artdramaagai n.Iquicklycleaned
thehouse, andaf terIwasdone.Iwentt osit
underat r
ee,Ir eceivedanot if
icati
onsay ing
someonesentmeR1000i nmyaccount ,Iknew
i
twasMul l
er.

Mama:
Lel
ona!*
shout
s*
Me:
ma!
Mama:
izaapha.(
Comeher
e)

Igotupf r
om mychai rt
henwentt oher
,she
l
ookedangr y.WhenIwascl osetoher ,
she
slappedmehar d.IwassoshockedIhel donmy
cheek.Ihavebeenbeat enbef or
ebymymom.
BecauseIhav ewokenupt oolateandt he
houseisdirt
y,orIwast edgroceriesbybur ni
ng
thefoodIcookormaki ngthekitchendirtyand
l
eav i
ngitdir
ty.buttodayIwasshocked
becauseIdidn'tdoany t
hing.AtleastIdon't
thinkIdi
dany thing.

Mama: bubuxoki
bantoniobuubuxel
ela
umntanawam! ?(Whatli
esareyoutel
li
ngmy
chi
l
d? !
)

IguessMullercal
ledher
,andifI
'mri
ghthe
shoutedatherbecauseshelet
shim do
anythi
ngevenshoutatherbuti
fIl
ookather
funnyshe'
l
lbeatmeup.

Me:
mama-
Mama: hey!Sundinyelaendliniyam, Lelona!
Ungakheul inge!Int
oengasozey enzeke
kuphathwanguwemnt anandini(don'tshiton
mei nmyhouse, Lelona!Don' ty
oudar e!
Somet hingthatwill
nev erhappeni sbei ng
control
ledbyy ou,youchi l
d!)
Me:
ndi
yakuv
amama(
Iheary
oumama)
Mama: khawsukephambikwam tchin!Uzukhe
uxokekuKhazi
mlaubonebaandi zokubethel
a
i
ntoeyiyona.(
Getoutofmysi ght!Idar
ey outo
tel
lKhazi
mlali
esthatIbeatyouup, andseeifI
won'tr
eall
ybeatyouup)

Inoddedandwal
kedawayf r
om her
.Iwent
backtosi
tint
hechai
r,Ihadtear
sinmyeyes.
Myf atheri sgoneandmyauntwoul dnev er
standupt omymom t heyarebestf r
iends.My
unclei salsogonet owork.Ilookedatmycheek
throughmyf rontcamer aandi tlooklikepink
andr edbr uise.Idoubti twil
lbeaper manent
bruise.May bei naf ewhoursi twil
lgodown.I
didn'twantt ocal l
Mul l
erbecauseIknowmy
mom i sser iousshe' ll
reall
ybeatmeup.Wor se
thant hisli
ttlebr ui
se.Myphoner angandi twas
Mul l
er.Ibr eat hedsoIdon' tshowt hatIhav e
beencr yi
ng.Ianswer editaft
eritwasr i
nging
foral ongt i
me.

Mul
l
er:
yougott
hemoney
?
Me:
yes,
thanky
ou.
Mul
l
er:
Ital
kedt
omom.
Me:
Iknow.
..
Mull
er:
howaboutyoufi
ndaB&Bt henletme
knowwhichoneI
'
llcov
erthecost
s.Justunt
ilI
gett
her
e.
Me:
shesl
appedme.
Mull
er:
what!
?May beIneedtocomeback
homeandreal
lysortt
hisout
.
Me:
no.I
t'
sokay,
I'
llj
ustf
indtheB&B,
she'
l
lbeat
meupi
fyouconfr
onthernow.
Mull
er:
*si
ghs*okay
,I'
l
lpayf
ort
hepl
ace.And
don'
tdoanyt
hingcr
azy.
Me:
Iwon'
ttr
ytoki
l
lmy
sel
f.Don'
twor
ry.
Mul
l
er:
okayki
d,Il
ovey
ou.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
ooBr
o.

Webot hhungupandIwassobor edthatIwent

onInstagr
am t ocheckmyf eed.Thatgotbor
ing,
IwentonmyFacebook.IsawIwast aggedi
na
postbySkylar.Myey espoppedoutwhenIsaw
thati
twasal sopictur
eofmeandXav ier
.How
didsheevengeti t
?Iquickl
yr emoveditbuti
t
wasnouse,mostpeopl esawi t.Ther ewer e
plentyofcomment st hatwer ehur t
fultome.I
foundmy sel
fcryi
ngandIdeact ivatedmy
Facebookaccount .Ididn'
tev enwantt oseet he
restofthosecomment s.Howdi dSky largetthe
pictur
eshedoesn' tev enhav emynumber !Isee
Zikhonabehi ndthi
s!Ir eceivedacal l
from
Xav i
er.Idroppedhi scallupsett hathangingout
withhim alwaysbr ingsmet rouble!Hecal led
againandIj ustdroppedi t.Hedi dn'tunder st
and
andhesentamessage.

Xavier :
answert
hef
ucki
ngt
hephone.
I
'm notpl
ayi
ngwit
hyou.

Idi
dn'
trepl
ytoi
t,hesentmeamessageagai
n.I
j
ustsi
ghedwipi
ngmyt ear
s.

Xav
ier :
I'
m goi
ngt
otr
acky
ourphone,
so
i
fyouknowwhat'
sgoodf
ory
ouy
ou'
l
lanswer
y
ourfucki
ngphone.

Hecal l
edmeagai n.ifhecomesher emymom
willcauseabigdeal outofi t
.ButthenXav i
eri
s
j
ustplayinghewoul dn'tdothat.Itol
dhim how
crazymom i shewoul dn'tdothat
.Iwentt omy
room tosleepbecauseIwasr eal
lyti
red.Isl
ept
withaheav yhear
t.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Pissedof f
,Ithrewthephoneont hebed.Iwas
currentl
ystayingatnearbyB&B.Shewasn' t
evenr epl
yingtomyt exts.Ihadthisappt hat
tr
ackspeopl e'sphonesonmyl aptop.SoI
tr
ackedherdown.If oundoutwher esheis.I
quicklygotinmynewr entalwhit
eAudi than
drovetotheplace.Itwasn'
tthatf
ar,
Iknocked
thelockonthegat e.Thedogswentcrazy.Ij
ust
l
ookedatt hem.Thekeptbar ki
ngandbarking
allangr
il
y.ItextedLonaagain.

Me:
comeout
side.

Thedooropenedanditwast hiswomant hat

l
ookedli
keLona,Iassumeditwashermot her
.
Shehadthi
sweirdlookonher .Idi
dn'
teven
smil
eatall
becauseIdon'tagreewithher
sl
avi
ngmywi fearound.

Me:
I'
mlooki
ngf
orLona.
Her
:why
?
Me:
sheknows
Her
:shewentout
.
Me:
Iknowshe'
sher
e.
Shewenti nsidethehousewi thoutclosingthe
door.IwaitedforhertocallLonat henLona
appeared.Shehadr edeyes, andherey eswer e
puffy
.Iknewshemusthav esleptcrying.She
camecl oserandopenedt hegat ethenst epped
outsi
de.

Lona:
arey
out
ryi
ngt
ogetmeki
l
led?
Me:whywer
en'
tyouanswer
ingmycal
l
sand
t
ext
s?
Lona:soever
yti
meIdon'
tdowhatyouwant
you'
regoi
ngtocometomyhouseangry
.
Me:
yes.
Lona:
mymom won'
tl
iket
hat
.
Me:t
henIguessy
ouhav
etost
oppi
ssi
ngme
of
f.
Lona:
whatdoy
ouwantXav
ier
?
Me:
whatdi
dIdonow?
Lona:
not
hing.Ij
ustwantt
osl
eept
henl
ookf
or
B&BswhenIwakeup.
Me:
B&Bs?
Lona:I
'
m mov
ingoutunt
ilMul
l
erandKi
ng
ret
urn.
Me:
why
?
Lona:
mymom i
sbei
ngabi
tcr
azy
.
Me:
how?
Lona:
shesl
appedmet
hismor
ning.
Me:
what
!?*
angr
y*
Lona:
chi
l
l.

Shetouchedmychest
,Il
ookedatherhand
thenather.Sher
emov
edherhandandlooked
atme.
Lona:Idon'
twantt
ocausedr
ama.I
'
llj
ustpack
andI'
l
l f
indaB&B.
Me:
Iknowapl
ace.
Lona:
real
l
y?
Me:
yeah.Icoul
dev
enpayf
ory
ou.I
-
Lona:
hel
lno.Mul
l
erwi
l
lpay
.

Shechuckl
edholdi
ngherst
omach.ThenI
rememberedIwasgoi
ngtotakeheroutt
oget
hersomefood.

Me:
let
'sgo.
Lona:
gowher
e?
Me:
togety
ousomef
ood.
Lona:
Ihav
etot
ell
mom I
'
m goi
ngf
ir
st.
Me:
okay
,I'
l
lbewai
ti
ngnextt
othecar
.
Shewentinsidet
heyard,andIwalkedtomy
car.Thi
sstr
eetwasv er
yquietmaybebecause
i
t'snextt
othetown?Iwai t
edforLonaandI
recei
vedatextfr
om Scrappy.

Scr
appy :how'
stheEC?
Me:
not
hingmaj
or.
Scrappy :wel
li
t'
sabouttogetmajor.I
needy ouher
ebynextweek.Kingst
onwant s30
gi
rls.Andyouknowhewon'tdealwithanyone
besidesyou.
Me:
fuck!I
'
llbebacknextweekt
hen.
Scr
appy :
fedef
ede.

IlookedatthetimeandLonawasnotget ti
ng
outthehouse.Ididn'
tknowifIshoul
dgoi n
thereandcheckonherespeciall
ywhenher
mom mi ghttrysomethi
ngonher .Att
hesame
ti
met herearedogshere.Ibr
ushedmyf ace
withmyr ighthandinanger.Shel atercameout ,
shehadchangedherout fi
t.ItwasaJeanwi th
whitesneaker sanda"madness"t -
shirt.Herhair
wasi nacur l
ypony t
ail
thatwasonherf rontl
ike
abangandshewaswear i
ngt hesewhi te
shades.Shehadont hisl
itt
lebagwi t
hher .She
l
ookedgr eat,Iwasjustinawe.Mywi fenever
seizur
est oamazeme.Ev erytimeIl ookather ,
sheget smor eandmor ebeaut i
ful.Iopenedt he
doorforherandshemumbl edacut e"thank
you".Igotinthecarandwedr oveof f.She
dir
ectedmet owardsPick'nPay .Thereshe
wentinside,Iheldherhand.Shechuckl edand
browsedt hroughthestorewi t
hme.

Lona:
Idon'
twanty
ourhoesbeat
ingmeup.
Me:*chuckl
es*don'
twor
ry,
they
'r
eal
lthewayi
n
CapeTown.
Lona:
*rol
l
sey
es*mxm.
..
.Oht
hisi
scut
e.
Shesai
datt hi
sugl
ybl
ackteddy
.Ipickedi
tup,
andshelookedatmemoreli
keglar
eatme.

Me:
stopt
hatshi
t.

Ichuckl
edandpul ledhercl ose,i
ntoasidehug.
Shejustsmiledupatme.Shepi ckedherfood,i
t
wasjustsomet hingt hatlookedlikeoatsand
somey oghurt.Thenshet ooksomepeanut s,
andwewentt opay .Andofcour sewear gued
onwhowi llpay,andIendeduppay i
ng.Ikept
l
aughingatherpout i
ng.Itooktheplasti
cand
heldherhand.Wewal kedt otheparki
ngandI
openedthedoorf orherwhenwegott omycar .

Lona:I
'm st
il
lget
ti
ngusedt
oyoubei
nga
gentl
eman.
Me:
don'
tpushi
t.
Shelaughed.Igavehert
heplast
ict
hencl
osed
thedoor.Iwenttomysideandgoti
n.

Lona:
aren'
tyougoi
ngt
oeat
?
Me:
nah.
Lona:
nigga-
Me:
didn'
tyousayy
ou'
rehungr
y?Eaty
ourf
ood.

Shelaughedatmyser i
ousexpr ession.She
star
tedmixi
ngt heoat sthingywiththey ogurt
.I
l
ookedatherf ood,thenather .Idon't
underst
andwhyshewant stolosewei ghtwhen
sheisthi
sperfect.Shetookof fherwhi te
shadesandplacet hem ont hedashboar dthen
star
tedeati
ng.Shel ookedsoador abl
eeat i
ng,
andshehadt hiscutelit
tlesmile.

Lona:
wantsome?
Me:
fuckno.
Lona:
comeon,
pleaset
ryi
t.
Me:
Lel
onano.Whydon'
tyoueatpr
operf
ood?
Lona:
yousoundj
ustl
i
kemymom.*
rol
l
sey
es*
pl
easetr
ythi
s.

Shegav emeaspoonf ul
l ofthefoodshewas
eati
ng,shepoutedandIj ustshookmyhead.I
atethefoodinthespoon, itwasn'tbadbuti
t
wasn'tniceatal
l.Idon'
tknowhowshesur v
ives
onthis.Shetooktheblackt eddyandIchuckled
athowI '
m changingforthisgirl
andshemi ght
notevenf eel
thesameway .

Lona:
what
?*smi
l
es*
Me:
not
hing,
thatt
eddyi
sugl
yashel
l
.
Lona:
don'
tdi
ssmychi
l
d.
Ismiledandtookoutmyphone.Iwenton
WhatsApp,LonawaseatingsoIwenttomy
stat
uses.Itookavideoofhereat
ing.

Lona:
thi
sisgood.
..wai
t,whyar
eyout
aki
nga
vi
deoofme?

Shebl ushedhi dingherf ace.Ismiledandt urned

offthecamer a.Ijustputacapt ionofabl ack
heart.It urnedonsomemusi candt hesong
thatplayedf ir
stwasPostMal onef tQuavo-
Congr atulations.Ididn'tthi
nkshel ikedthesong
unti
l shet ookoutherphoneandmadeofv i
deo
ofhersi ngi ngit.Ialsorappedal ong, andshe
madeofv ideoofussi ngingthesongt ogether
.

Us:
"Theywasnev
erf
ri
endl
y,y
eah
NowI
'
mjumpi
ngoutt
heBent
ley
,yeah
AndIknowIsounddr
amat
ic,
yeah
ButIknowIhadt
ohav
eit
,yeah
Fort
hemoney
,I'
m asav
age,
yeah
Ibei
tchi
ngl
i
keaaddi
ct,
yeah"

Shest
oppedt
hev
ideoqui
ckl
yandpr
essedsent
.

Me:Idi
dn'
tev
enknowy
oul
i
stent
otheset
ype
ofsongs
Lona:Kingal
waysplay
sthem i
nthehouse.I
j
ustli
stentothem.
Me:*chuckl
es*wi
l
lyoupackev
ery
thi
ngaty
our
par
entshouse?
Lona:no,
justafewstuffbecauseIwon'
tbe
stay
ingattheB&Bforlong.
Me:
what
'
ssomet
hingi
nter
est
ingt
odoher
e?
Lona:
not
hingatal
l
.It
'sabor
ingt
own.
Me:
itcan'
tbet
hatbor
ing.
Lona:tr
ustmeitis.*chuckl
es*all
the
i
nterest
ingt
hingsareinEastLondon.
Me:damn,nowondery
oudon'
twantt
ocome
backher
e.
Lona:
yeahanst
heot
hert
hingt
oo.
me:
yourmom can'
tbet
hatbad.
Lona:
trustmeshei
s.
~~
MeandLel onat alkedalott oapoi ntwher eit
gotdar k.Shewaswor ri
edt hatIwouldn'
tt ake
herhome, earli
er.ButIwant edtopissoffher
mom.I fshedoessomet hingt oLonaandI 'min
town.She' l
lfuckingkissLona' sasswhenI 'm
donewi t
hher .SinceMul l
erandKi ngdon'tdo
anythingIwi l
l dosomet hing.I '
m notgoingt o
sitaroundandl etherabuseLona.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwasv eryscar edthatmymom wi ll
turn
everyonei nt hathouseagai nstmeandsayt hat
Iwentagai nstherandwentoutwi thmy
boyfri
end.AndXav ierisn'tevenmyboy f ri
end.
Sheal mostst r
angl edmewhenIwentoutt he
houset ogot ot ownwi thhi m.Idi dn'tevenwant
totellXav i
eraboutSky lar '
spostbecausehe
tol
dmet hatIshoul dn'tletpeopl e'sactions
control myemot i
ons.Andpeopl eshoul dn' t
control mebymyemot ions.SoIj ustcr i
edat
homeandt ri
edt ogetov eri
t.NowI 'ml ear ning
tojustdeal i
t.Notev er
y onewi l
llikeme.And
Skylarisjustst upidt oletpeoplecont rol her
becauseZi khonai st oomuchofacowar dt odo
anythingshe' sal way sfighti
ngf orherf riend
Kayla.ButIwonderi fKay l
awillev erfi
ghtf or
her.
Xavi
er:she'snotgoi
ngtodoanythi
ngtoy
ou,
you'
l
ljusttakeyourcl
othesandl
eave.
Me:she'
ll
havemydadbeatmeupf orbri
ngi
ng
aguyover.I
'm sur
pri
sedshehasn'
tevencal
l
ed
Mull
erorKingtoconfr
ontme.
Xav
ier
:thi
sladywi
l
lendupannoy
ingme.
Me:
sheal
readyannoy
sme.
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*i
t'
sonl
y2weeks.
Me:
Iwantt
hem t
ohur
ryup.
Xav
ier
:tocheeryouup,howaboutt
omor
row
wedosomet hi
ngfun?
Me:
let
'sgot
heAquar
ium!*
exci
ted*
Xav
ier
:what
?*l
aughs*
Me:Ihavealwayswantedtogother
e.Butit
'sin
EastLondon.Youdon'
tmindalongri
deright?
Xav
ier
:nah*
smi
rks*
Me:
umdaka*
laughs*(
you'
renast
y)
Xav
ier
:you'
ret
heonet
hatsai
dit
.
Me:well
Imeantl
it
eral
l
ynotfigur
ati
vel
y.I
shoul
d'
vesai
dexcusethepun.
Xav
ier
:*l
aughs*y
esy
oushoul
dhav
e.
Me:
excuset
hepun,
Xav
ier
.*chuckl
es*

Helookedatmewi tht
helookheal
waysdoes,
i
t'
slikeI'
mtheonlyper
sonhesees,
IdoubtI
'l
l
getoverthi
slook.

Me:
stopt
hat
.*bl
ushes*
Xav
ier
:st
opwhat
?*smi
rks*
Me:
looki
ngatmel
i
ket
hat.
Xav
ier
:Ial
way
slookaty
oul
i
ket
his.
Me: noyoudon'
t.Thi
sisadif
fer
entlook.Andi
t
needstostop*l
aughs*sowhat'
sthereal
reasonyou'
rei
nKingWill
i
amsTown?
Xav
ier
:fory
ou.
Me:
li
ar.
Xav
ier
:I'
m ser
ious.
Me:
youcameal l
thewayf r
om West
ernCapet
o
mebecauseIwascry
ing.Yeahri
ght
.
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*i
fyoudon'
twantt
obel
i
eve
methanthat'
sfi
ne.
Me:wow.Ithoughty
oucamef
ory
ourshady
busi
nesses
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*shadybusi
nesses.
Me: wel
lyoudon'
twantt
otel
lmewhatyoudo
exactl
yIonl
yknowthaty
ou'r
eagangst
er
Xav
ier
:andy
oudon'
tneedt
oknow.
Me:yousoundjustl
i
keMull
erandKi
ng.Why
shoul
dn'
tIknow?Icankeepasecr
et.
Xavi
er:sowedon'tgetyouint
oalotoftr
oubl
e
whenthepoli
cegetinvol
ved.Sotheycansee
youreal
lydi
dn'
tknowany t
hingandyoucango
of
feasi
l
y.
Me:
okay
,nowIf
inal
l
yunder
stand.
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*t
ooky
oul
ongenough.
Me:shutup.Ar
ey ouev
enr
eadyt
otakeov
ert
he
whol
edrugempi r
e?
Xav
ier
:what
?
Me:
Ihear
dyou'
regoi
ngt
otakeov
er.
Xav
ier
:whosai
dthat
?
Me:
somebody
.
Xav
ier
:who?
Me:
justanswert
hest
upi
dquest
ion.*
laughs*
Xavier
:yeahonlyafewmonthslef
t.Youneedt
o
tel
lmewhot oldyouaboutt
hatanyway?
Me:
theansweri
ssoobv
ious.
Xav
ier
:Car
do.
Me: wewerejustt
alki
ngabouti
t.If
eel
badf
or
yourgi
rl
fr
iends.
Xav
ier
:theyar
emyhoes.
Me:
what
ever.
Xav
ier
:whyar
eyouev
enwor
ri
edaboutt
hem?
Me:si
nceyou'
l
lbetaki
ngover
.Justmeanst
hat
t
heywil
lbeinmoredanger
.
Xavi
er:
wel
ltheywant
edt
hatl
i
fe,
nowt
heyhav
e
i
t.
Me:
don'
tsayt
hat
,they
'r
est
il
lhumans.
Xavier
:theyarehoeswhoarewill
i
ngtosel
l
themselvestothehi
ghestbi
ddervi
rgel
d.(
for
money )
Me:
youdon'
tknowt
hei
rsi
tuat
ion.
Xavier:
*si
ghs*stopseei
ngthegoodi
npeopl
e.
That'swhatgi
vesfuckeduppeoplet
he
advantagetobul
lypeopl
e.Youneedt
obemore
rude
Me:mxm I'
m notgoi
ngtochangejustbecause
aper
son.Ican'
ttr
eatev
eryonebadlybecauseI
wasbul
l
ied,
thatwi
l
lmakemebej
ustl
i
ket
hem.
~~
AftertalkingXavierfinall
yagreedtot aki
ngme
homet ogetmyst uffsoIcanmov et otheB&B
helivesi nbutwe'llhav eseparaterooms.Iwas
scaredt oev engoi nthehouse.Dad' scarwas
notthere, maybehe' swor ki
ngl at
e.Iwentinsi
de
andXav i
erwai t
edout si
deforme.

Aunt:
heeeh!Li
buy
il
eihul
e*l
aughs*(
thehoei
s
back)

Idi
dn'treply
,Ij
ustwalkedi
nmyr oom.Iwas
shockedt oseemymom ont opofmybedwi t
h
myjournal i
nherhands.If
eltangr
y.Howcould
sheinvademypr i
vacyli
kethat
?Shepickedup
hersjambok.

Mama:
kut
heni
ndi
xakwanguweLel
ona?(
why
ar
eyougi
vi
ngmeahar
dti
me.Lel
ona?
)

LONA'
SOUTFI
T
[
02/
17,
16:
43]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT16
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Ibackedawayfrom her
,andgoingtowardsmy
door.Xavi
erwast heonl
yoneIknewt hatcoul
d
savemer i
ghtnow.Iwassoscar ed,
tear
swer e
fal
li
ngli
kewaterfal
lsi
nmyey es.AndIcouldn'
t
evengetawordout .
Mama: kungonauzof
umanaisi
zat
husofownel
a
uKhazi
ml akengoku(
nowyou'
ll
haveareasont
o
cal
lKhazimla)
Me:
mama,
uxol
o.(
mama,
I'
m sor
ry)
Mama: xol
oforntoni?Ukundi qhel
aendli
niyam?
TchinLel
ona.Unezinzangoku.Ubhal a
ngekwenkweaphakodwaawukagqi bi
neVarsi
ty
l
e!Uf unaubuyaeCerti
fi
cateseSisu?(Sorr
yfor
what?Disr
especti
ngmei nmyhouse?Youhav e
grown.You'
rewriti
ngaboutaboybuty ouare
notevendonewi t
huniversi
ty!Doyouwantt o
comebackpr egnant?)
Me:
hay
imama.(
No,
mama)

Shestoodup,andIjustr
anoutofmyroom, she
whippedmeoncewhenIwasr unni
nginmy
back.If
eltt
hepain,
Itri
ppedandfel
loutsi
dein
thefr
ont.Thedogskeptbarki
ng.Shewhipped
meandwhi ppedmeasIcr iedcov er i
ngmy self
up.Ij usthopedIdi dn'thav ebadbr uisesonme.
Iscreamedi npain.Shewasn' thi
ttingmei n
muchf orcebutitwaspai nful.Iwascr yi
ng
begginghert ost
op.Idoubtsheev encar ed.
That'swhenIhear dthegat eopen.AndXav i
er
pushedmymom sohar d,
shef el
lont hest oep
droppingt hesjambok.Thedogst riedbi t
ing
him buthet ookt hesjambokandst arted
beatingthem upwi t
hitandt heyran.Hel ooked
l
ikehewasr eadytostr anglemymom.Iwas
sti
lli
npai nont hestoep.

Aunt
:hey!Kwenzekant
oni
apha!
?(What
'sgoi
ng
onhere!
?)

Xaviert
ookouthi
sgunandhewasaboutt
o
shootmymot her
.Myauntscr
eamedandr
an
i
nsidethehouse.
Me:
Xav
ierno!*
shout
s*

Mymom l ookedsoscar ed.Shewascr yi

ngand
sheevenpissedherself
.Igai nedthecourage
togetup,andIstoodi nfrontofXavierandhi
s
gun.Hewasv eryangry,anditscaredmeabi t.
Hisgunwasnowai medt omychestbecauseI
wasinfrontofhim andmymot her.

Me:
no.Don'
tdothi
s,pl
ease.She'
sstil
lmy
mot
hernomatt
erwhathappens.Please.

Igotcl
oserandhuggedhim,hecalmeddowna
bi
t.OnceIbrokeofft
hehug,heplacedhisgun
backinthebackofhi
sjean.Iwi
ncedbecause
mybodywaspai nf
ul

Xav
ier
:you'
rei
npai
n?
Inoddedcryi
ng.Ireal
lydon'
tunder
standwhy
shehatesmesomuch.Hepi ckedmeupbr i
dal
styl
eandwentoutt hegateandtohiscar
.I
helpedhi
m byopeningthedoorofthecarand
heplacedmeinit.Thenheclosedthedoor.
Oncehewentt ohisside,hespedoffdownthe
road.

Xavi
er:ar
ethereanydoct
orsatt
hist
imet
hat
ar
estil
laccept
ingpat
ient
s?
Me:
no.Butt
her
e'sapubl
i
chospi
tal
.
Xav
ier
:di
rectmet oi
t.I
'
llacceptany
thi
ngatt
his
momentsoy oucanbeokay .

Hespedofftothehospi
tal
.Ther
eitt
ookalong
ti
meformet oatt
endedtoandhewasver
y
annoy
ed,andveryangry
.
Xavier
:whyt
hefuckar
ey oustandi
ngther
eand
tal
ki
ngwhenshe'si
npain!?*
shouts*
Me:
Xav
ierpl
easecal
m down
Nurse:si
r,she'
snott
heonlypatientinthi
s
hospit
alandshedoesntevenlooklikeshehas
i
njuri
es.Youhav et
owait.Youdonotownt hi
s
hospit
al.
Xavier
:whatt
hef
uckdi
dyouj
ustsayt
ome!
?
*angry
*

Hewasabouttot akeouthi
sgun,Iqui
ckly
st
oodupfrom theplaceIwassit
ti
nginand
st
oppedhimfrom doingsomethi
nghe'l
lget
ar
rest
edfor.Whatisupwithhi
m andguns!?

Me:
cal
m down.
Xav
ier
:thi
sbi
tchr
eal
l
ydoesn'
tknowme.
Nur
se:
tchi
nbat
heni
naababhut
ibaci
nga
sizoqal
angabongexababene' mal
i
.
Baphambene.( Thesementhinkwe'
llat
tendt
o
them fi
rstbecausetheyhav
emoney .Theyar
e
delusi
onal)

Xavierwasabouttogot oher,andreal
lybeat
herup.Iqui
ckl
ypulledhim back,itwasnouse
becausehewasst r
ongersoIst oodinfrontof
hi
m andhuggedhi m holdi
nghisar msand
hands,topr
eventhimf r
om beatingupthenurse.

Me:
please.Don'
tdot
his,
nother
e.
Xav
ier
:Ican'
tl
etherdi
srespectmel
i
ket
hat
.
Me:l
et'
sjustgohome.I'
l
ldr
inkpai
nki
l
ler
sthen
we'
l
lgotot hedoct
ort
omorr
ow.

Hetookhi
shand,andwewereaboutt
owalk
out
.Ihear
dthenur
semumblesomethi
ng.
Nurse:ezi
ntozi
phathwangabaf
azibabo
bagulel
athi
na.(Thesethi
ngsar
econtrol
l
edby
thei
rwives,t
heygocrazyonus)

Ihel
dXav ier
'shandti
ghtl
ytolethim knowhe
shoul
dn'tpayanyattent
iontothem.Heopened
thedoorformeandhedr ov
eof ftotheB&Bhe
wasstayingin.Theroomswer efull
ybookedso
Ihadtosharear oom wit
hXav i
er.

Xav
ier:
letmecallJR,maybehehassome
meds.Ididn'
tbr
ingany.

Ij
ustnoddedandj ustlookedaround.Therewas
onlyonebedhere.AndIdon' tf
eel comfor
tabl
e
shari
ngabedwi t
hXav i
erbecausehe'smy
fr
iend,whohappenst obesohot ,andIdon't
wanttodevel
opf eeli
ngsforhim.
Xav
ier
:comet
omyr
oom.
..f
edef
ede.

Thenhehungup.Hel ookedatme,Iwasst i
l
l
analy
singtheroom.Itwasr eal
l
ygood.EL
Shaddai i
sreal
lyagoodB&B.Iheardalotof
poli
ti
ciansandimportantpeopl
ecomehere
whent heyhavebusi
nesst r
ipsinKi
ngWil
li
ams
Town.

Xav
ier
:getont
hebed.
Me:
what
!?
Xavi
er:
notli
kethat
.*chuckl
es*Iknowy
ou'
rei
n
pai
nandstandi
ngupwon' thel
p.

Heopenedhi
ssui
tcaseandt
ookoutanot
hert
-
shi
rt
.
Xav
ier
:youcanweart
his

Itwasami li
tarypr
intedt
-shir
t.Iwenttot he
bathr
oom, eventhoughIstruggledputt
ingiton
becauseofthepai nIwasin.Final
lyIworeit,i
t'
s
wasn'tl
ong,kindatooshort.Ithi
nkhewoul dbe
abletoseemyassandIwaswear i
ngat hong.I
didn'
tevenwantt ogetoutofthebat hr
oom.

Xav
ier
:JRi
sher
ewi
tht
hemeds,
Lona.

Iquickl
yt ookthetowelandwr appeditaround
mylowerbody ,t
henwalkedout .JRgav eme
themedi cati
onandt hewaterthenhewal ked
outaftertheganghandshakewi t
hXav ier
.Af t
er
30mi nutesofmeandXav iert
alkingandal sous
watchingt he"Smurf
sThel ostvil
lage"onhi s
l
aptop, hedownloadeditforme.Iwast ir
ed.
AndIhadr emovedthetowel alongt i
meago
becauseIwasi
nsi
det
hebed.

Xav
ier:
Ican'
tbel
i
evean18y
earol
diswat
chi
ng
Car
toons.
Me:
*yawns*car
toonsmaket
hebestmov
ies.

Ismiled,
andi
feltdr
owsyandslept.Ev
en
thoughmycurl
yhairwasannoyi
ngmebecause
i
twasal li
nmyface.ButImanagedtosleep.
~~
Aftermymor ningroutine,Xavi
ergotmeanew
toothbrushandal lthetoilet
ri
esIneeded.Ist i
l
l
wor ethesamecl othesf rom yest
erday.Xavier
wentoutt ogetmef ood.Hewasangr ywhenhe
sawt hebruisesonmyar msandl egs.Afterhe
cameback.Weat et henhewant edtotakeme
tothedoct or.Sowewer eont heroadagain
Xav
ier
:di
rectmet
oagooddoct
or.
Me:
myf
ami
l
ydoct
ori
sDrFr
edr
icks.
Xav
ier
:di
rectmet
ohi
m.

Idi
dashesaid,helookedreal
l
yangryashe
spedofft
oFredri
cks.Whil
ehishandwasonthe
gear
,Ihel
ditt
ocalm him down.

Me:
it'
snot
hingmaj
or.I
'
m goi
ngt
obef
ine.
Xavi
er:don'
tfuckingt
ellmethat!Shewasr eady
toki
ll
you.EverytimeIthinkaboutit
,Itanger
s
memor e.Ishoulddowhatshepl annedony ou
wit
hher .
Me:
don'
ttouchher
.
Xav
ier
:what
!?
Me:
I'
m ser
ious.KhazimlaandYangal
ovet
hei
r
mom somuchthatthey'
l
ldostupi
dshi
t.
Xav
ier
:Idon'
tgi
veaf
uckaboutt
hoset
wo.
Me:Idobecausethey
'r
emybr other
sandthat'
s
mymom nomat t
erwhat.AndKi ngplusMul
ler
wil
lputastoptoourf
riendshi
p.Pleasedon'
t
acti
rrat
ional
l
y.I'
l
lbefi
ne, i
t'
sjustafewbrui
ses.
~~
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Shewastoldtowearagown, t
hegownwas
di
rtyandIwaspissedof
fthattheywoul
dgi
ve
heragownliket
hat.

Xav
ier
:don'
tyouhav
ecl
eanergowns?
Lona:Xavi
er!I
'
m sosorry,
he'snotal
waysli
ke
thi
s.Heisunderalotofstr
esstheseday
s.
Shegl
aredatme,
thenur
sewal
kedaway
.

Lona:
whati
swr
ongwi
thy
ou!?
Me:
thi
sisdi
rt
y.
Lona:Iknowbutwe' r
enotheref
orcl
othesbut
forthemedicalat
tenti
on.Nowpl
easestop
beingrude.Pl
ease.

Shelookedatmewi t
hapout,andshehugged
menott i
ghtatal
l
.Icoul
dseeshewasst i
lli
n
pai
nbutshewast ry
ingnott
opi ssmeoff
.

Lona:y
ouhavet
owai
ther
e,I
'
m goi
ngt
obe
nakedther
e.
Me:
so?
Lona:
don'
tst
art
.
Me:
wai
t,t
hedoct
orwi
l
lseey
ounaked?
Lona:
duh.
Me:
isi
taf
emal
e?
Lona:
no.
Me:
fuckno.
Lona:hehasbeenmydoct
orev
ersi
nceIwasa
chi
ld

Shechuckl edandquicklyst
opped.Shewasin
realpain.Iswearhermom isgoingtopayfor
thi
s.Afterthedoctorcheck,shecameout.She
wentt ochangeherclothes

Lona:weneedt ogot othechemi sttogetsome

ofthemedicineandointmentt hedoctorsaidI
shoul
dusef orthebruises.They'
renotthat
deep.Lucki
l
yt heclot
hesIhadonhel ped,and
shedidn'
tgetmyf ace.Sot her
ear enobruises
onit.
Me:
shest
il
lneedst
olear
nherl
esson.
Lona:
Xav
ierwet
alkedaboutt
his.
Me:
whyar
eyoupr
otect
ingher
!?

Everyonel
ookedatusbecauseIwasl oud.She
pull
edmeout sidewithmyhand,Ismil
edathow
toughshethinkssheis.Shehadthi
sseri
ous
cutefaci
alexpressi
ononher.Thenshefolded
herarms.

Lona: I
'
m pr otecti
ngy ou,ifKhazi
ml aand
Yanga'inkosifindoutt hatyouhavet ouchedor
offendedt hei
rmom.I '
m ev enscaredshe'llt
ell
them aboutt heincidentear l
i
erandt urnthem
againstme.
Me:
I'
m notscar
edofy
ourbr
other
s.
Lona:i
knowy ou'r
enot.Butpl
easerespect
whatIj
ustdecidedon.You'
regoingtoleavemy
mom alone.Idon'
twantmybrothershatingme.
Me:
whydon'
ttheydoany
thi
ng?
Lona:sheneverl
ist
enstothem whentheyar
e
notintown.Butwhentheyare,
shebecomes
moreni cet
omeandal loft
hatmother
lystuf
f
Me:
arey
ousur
eshe'
syourmom?
Lona:posi
ti
ve.She'sjusttoost
rict
.Becausei
fI
weretogetintoastreetfi
ght,t
hat'
stotal
ly
nevergoi
ngt ohappen,Iknowshewoul d
defendme.
Me:
andhowdoy
ouknowt
hat
?
Lona:
when.
..

Shest
oppedandl
ookeddown.Il
i
ftedherhand
upwit
hmyindexf
inger
.Shehadglossyey
es.

Lona:whenItr
iedtokil
lmysel
fbecauseoft he
bul
lyi
ng,shewenttotheschoolandstart
ed
beati
ngupmybul l
i
eswi t
hahardst i
ck.Iusedto
tel
lthem aboutthebul ly
ingbutt heyalway s
thoughtitwasjustkidspl aying,unti
lItri
edto
kil
lmy sel
f.Shegotangr y,andwentt othe
school.Andshebeatt hem al l
uplookingall
crazy.Kayl
astil
lhast hatscar* chuckles*I
knowshel ovesmei t'
sj ustthatshecan' t
expressherloveproper l
yt hatitcomesof fas
abuse.Shedoesn'tfeel anyconnect ionwithme
becauseofthedepr essionshegotaf t
ergivi
ng
birt
htome.She' sast rongwomanandme
beingweakmadeherbel ieveIwasademon
chil
dakawebot hhav ebeenbewi tched.
Me:well
nowI
'
m her
eandshehast
ofol
l
ow
somerul
es
Lona:
*laughs*y
ou'
recr
azy
.
Me:I
'
m seri
ous.Shecan'ttouchy
ou.Orel
seI
mi
ghthavetodosomet hing.

Shest
oppedlaughed,andherphoner
ang.I
di
dn'
tevent
hinkshehaditwithher
.
Lona: hell
o?.
..shetri
edtobeatmeupwi t
ha
sjambok. .
.I'
m seri
ous..
.shegotaimedwi tha
gun?What ?Shelyi
ng.Icouldn'
teventakemy
clothesbecauseshewassoangr y.Ididn'tgo
therewi t
hanyguy .She'
stryi
ngtomakey ou
guy shateme, andmay beit
'sworkingbecause
clearl
yy ouaretaki
ngherside.

Ismil
edathowf l
uentshewasatl yi
ng.Ididn'
t
eventhi
nkshehadi ti
nher.Inbet
weent hecall
,
shewouldtakesi
lentbreat
hingpr
actices.

Lona:you'
recomingbackwhen?Nextweek! ?
*exci
ted*thankGod!Iam st
ayingattheEl
ShaddaiB&B.NoI '
l
lpaywiththeremaini
ng
moneyi haveinmyaccount.Pleasedon'
t
worry
...
.okaylov
ey outooBro.
Shesmiledandcl
osedhereyes.Ichuckl
edand
openedthedoorforher
.Shegotinandsmil
ed.
Aft
erIclosedt
hedoorforher
,Iwenttomyside
ofthecarandgotin.

Lona:
they
'r
ecomi
ngbacknextweek.Iam so
happy
.
Me:Isee.Ihavetogobackt
oCapeTownnext
week.Soyou'l
lbesaf
e.
Lona:
youar
egoi
ngbecauseofKi
ng&Mul
l
er?
Me:no*chuckl
es*Ihav
etogetbackt
othe
busi
nesses.
Lona:
whati
fmybr
other
swer
en'
tret
urni
ngnext
week?
Me:t
henyouwould'
ver
etur
nedt
oCapeTown
wi
thme.*
shrugs*
Lona:
*laughs*y
ou'
recr
azi
ert
hanIt
hought
.
Me:
youneedt
odi
rectmet
othechemi
st
Lona:
whatwoul
dyoudowi
thoutme?*
smi
l
es*

Ichuckledthenshedi rectedmet othechemi st

andIgotoutandopenedt hedoorforher.Their
chemi stwasinamal l.Whenwewer ewal kingi
n
themal lImadesur etohol dherhandsot hese
niggasknowshe' staken.Andt heywon'ttry
anythingcrazybecauseI '
llkil
lthem nowi na
spli
tsecond.Oncewewenti nsideCli
cks.I
foll
owedherar oundwhenshewasget ti
ngt he
medi cati
onandot herstuffsheneeds.Af teral
l
ofthat,Ipaidfort
het hings

Me:whyar
eyoual
way
supsetwhenIpay
?
*
chuckl
es*

Ihelpherhandandt
ookt
hepl
ast
icandwe
walkedout.
Lona:becauseIknowguys.Theywanttoget
youallthet
hingsandexpectsomet
hingl
ikesex
i
nreturn.Idonotwantthat.
Me:
am Il
i
ket
heot
herguy
s?
Lona:yes.Youhav
eli
ke3or4girl
fr
iendsand
theyar
eallokaywi
thyouhav
ingot
her
gir
lf
ri
ends.I
t'
sweir
d.
Me:that
'sbecauseIhaven'tf
oundtheoney
et.
Well
Ihav ef
oundher.I'
mj ustwal
ki
ngoneggs
ar
oundher
Lona:
you?Foundt
heone?Yeahr
ight*
laughs*
Me:
whyi
sithar
dtobel
i
eveIwoul
dfi
ndt
heone?
Lona:becauseyoudon'
tl
ookli
kethetypethat
bel
iev
esi nsoul
matesoreveninr
elat
ionships.
Me:
gott
hatoner
ight*
laughs*
Lona:see!Youwoul djustsleepwit
hthegirland
beannoy edafter
wardsbecauseshewasj ust
fr
eshmeaty outhoughtyoucouldn'
thave.Now
youhavei t
,you'l
lgetannoyedbyit.
Me:
arewest
il
ltal
ki
ngaboutme?
Lona:
yes!
Me:
thi
sseemsper
sonal
.*l
aughs*
Lona:mxm.Yourfuckboytendenci
esare
ari
si
ngagai
n.Let'
sjustdropthisconv
ersat
ion.

Sheletgoofmyhandandwal kedfast,
Ipul
led
herbackbythebeltst
ri
ngofherjean.Whenshe
tur
nedaround,Ihel
dherwai
st.

Me: comeon.Don'tbel
ikethat
,Il
iket
hatyou'
re
notafrai
dtospeakthet
r ut
haboutme.Iwon't
takeitasajokeagai
n.
Lona:
yes.Youshoul
dn'
t.

ShepoutedandIlaughed.Onotherpeopl
e,I
wouldbeannoyedbyt hei
rpout
ingbutLona'
s
poutwasjustt
oocut eandherchubbyfacewas
cut
easf
uck.

Me:
let
'sgety
ouf
oodi
nChecker
s.
Lona:
yeah.

Wewalkedther
eandshepi
ckedt
hef
oodand
somedryfr
uit
.

Lona:ugh,
weshoul
d'
vecamet
othi
schemi
st.I
for
gotabouti
t.
Me:i
t'
sfi
nebyme.Atl
easty
ouhav
ethe
medi
cati
onnow.
Lona:butI'
mt i
red.Thebrui
sesarebecoming
pai
nful.Iwanttosleeponsomethingsof
t,the
bed.Iwanttosleep* si
ghs*
Me:we'
realmostdone.St
opcompl
aini
ngwe'
re
get
ti
ngyourfood.
Lona:
whatwi
l
ltheB&Bsaywhenwear
enot
eat
ingt
hei
rfood?
Me:
Idon'
tgi
veaf
uck.
Lona:
toomuchanger
.*l
aughs*

Shewal kedusov ertot hetil

lsandIpai d,weleft
.
AttheB&B, sheat eandwat chedt hecartoon
mov i
eshewaswat chinglastnight .Shewas
conti
nui ngwi thi
t.Aftermaki ngplentyofcal l
s
toScr appytogetgi rl
sf orthehumant raffi
cki
ng
deali
ngs.Het oldmehehas5gi r
lsr i
ghtnow.I
will
finishupwhenIgett here.Isatont hebed,
shewasi nsidethebed.Hermedi cati
onwas
start
ingt okickinbecauseIcoul dseeshewas
ti
red.OnceIl ai
dont hebed, It
ookt helaptop
andshest aredatme.Ti met otesthert r
uston
me.

Me:whyareyousofar
?Comecl
oser
.I'
m not
gonnat
ryany
thing.
Shechuckl edandmov edcl osert ome.Ipl aced
thelapt oponmyt hi
ghsandpul ledhercl osert o
mychest .Shel ai
dherheadonmychestand
continuedwat chi
ngthemov ie.Ismi l
edlooki ng
ather .Iknowshe' sdevelopingf eeli
ngsf orme
becausei fshewasn' tshewoul d'vefr
ozenat
thethoughtofuscuddl ing.Butnowshe' sdoi ng
i
t.Herar m waswr appedonmyl owerst omach.
Heract ionsshowmeshe' snowcomf ortable
withme.Shecont i
nuedwat chingt hemov ie,
shelaughedatanot herSmur fbeingclumsy .I
wasgl adt oseehert hishappy .Nowaf t
eral lof
thesecar toonsandshe' sasleep.Iwi l
lhav et o
payhermom av i
sit
.Shecangetkeept reating
mywi fel i
ket hisandkeept hinkingI'
m goi ngt o
l
etitsl ide.Shehast opay.
[
02/
17,
16:
43]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT17
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
afterIheardherli
ghtsnores.Igent l
yremoved
her, t
henworesomebl acksweat s.Imadesure
tot akemygunwi th.Iwon'tkil
l hermom, j
ust
tal
kt oher.Andifshebecomesdi srespect
ful
thenIwi l
lhavetoreal
lydosomet hingtoher.I
calledJRtowat choverLonasi nceshe's
fami l
iarwi
thhim andshewon' thav eanypanic
attacks.

Me:watchoverLonaforawhi
l
e.I
'
m goi
ngout
I
'l
lbebackinaboutanhour
.
JR:bauyabuzauphi
?Zendit
hiuphi
?(Ifshe'
s
askswhereyouare?Whereshoul
dIsayy ouar
e?
)
Me:
tel
lherIwentoutt
ocheckoutt
het
own.
JR:
fedef
ede(
shar
pshar
p)
Me:
anddonotletheroutoft
her
oom wi
thout
meret
urni
ng.

Ihungupt hecall,thenIdr ov etoherhouse.I

neverforgetdi r
ections,soIdi dn'
thav etr
ouble
al
ongt heway .OnceIpar kedneart hehouse.
Therewasn' tacari nt heyardst i
ll
.SoIt hought
may betheydi dn'thaveacar .Iwalkedot herand
knockedt helockont hegat e.Iknockedand
knocked.Itwasnouse, Icli
mbedov erthefence
si
ncei twasn'tthatl ong.Ididn'tseet hedogs,
soIwenti nsidet hehouse.I twasn' tlocked.
WhenIopenedt hedoor ,t
her eshewas
standi
ngf rom abi tfarinthepassage.She
l
ookedscar edofme, andIdi dnotcar eonebit.

Me:
iam her
etol
aydownsomer
ules.
MrsD:endl
inikabani
?Tchinunol
uyol
o
andi
zokwenzalontomna.(I
nwhosehouse?
You'
reover
excit
edIwon'tdothat
.)
Me:
thenwear
egoi
ngt
odot
hist
hehar
dway
.

Itookoutmygunandaimeditather
,she
screamedandI'
m sur
ethenei
ghbourshear
d
her.Shel
ookedl
ikeshepee'
dhersel
f.

Me:
gogett
hesj
ambok.
Mr
sD:
int
oni
?(What
?)
Me:
Iwon'
trepeatmy
sel
f.Idi
dnotst
utt
er.

Shecr
iedgoi
ngtoherr
oom togetthesjambok.
Mygunwasstil
lai
medather.Shethrewitov
er
tomebecauseshewasscar
edt ogetcl
oser.

Me:
nowondery
ouar
esobi
tt
ert
owar
dsLona,
becausey
ourhusbandi
snev
erhome.
MrsD: uy asebenza.Sumxeka.Ibeterenakulent
o
uyenzay o.Uku'r
ob'baabantuayondlelayophil
a.
(hewor ks.Donotj udgehim.Iti
sbet tert
han
whaty ou'redoing.Robbi
ngpeopl eforalivi
ngis
notthewayt oliv
e.)
Me: her
ear ether ules.
..one,youwon' tevenlay
ahandonherorel seyourl i
fewill
end.Two, all
thi
sbullshityoukeept alkingtobringherdown
wil
lstopt oday.Three,ifyout el
lKhazimlaand
Yangaaboutt hi
s,you'l
l r
egreteverblabbl
ing
yourbigmout h.Doweunder standeachot her?

Shenoddedver
yscar
ed.Ichuckl
ed,
she'
sjusta
scar
edbit
ch.

Me:nowafteral
lofthi
s,y
ouaregoingt
opack
uphert
hingsandI'
ll
pickthem upt
omorrow.
Shenoddedqui
ckl
ywi
thnohesi
tat
ions.

Me:j
ustt
oassureweunder
standeachot
her
wi
thther
ules.

Ipickedupt hesjambok,
shestar
tedcry
ing
hysteri
cal
ly.Ishookmyhead,andstart
ed
beatingherupwi thi
tsoshecanlear
nher
l
esson.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwokeupandt heot hersidewasempt y
.May be
Xavierwentout.Ilookedatt heti
meandi twas
st
ill
1pm, soit
'sstill
ear l
y.Wellt
ome.Ilooked
overtoXavier
'ssideboar dandhel ef
thiscross
chainandhi slaptop.Ismi l
el ookedatt he
crosschain.Ideci dedt oweari t.He'smyf riend,
ihopehewon' tmi nd.Iwi shhewon' tmi nd
becausethischai ni stoocut e.Iwentt obr ush
myt eethandwashmyf ace.ThenIwentback
tothebed.It ookmyphone, andt hebat ter ywas
23%andIdon' tev enhav eachar ger.When
Xavierret
urnsI '
llhav etoaskhi mt ochar gemy
phonewi t
hhi slapt op.IwentonWhat sAppwi t
h
theremainingbat teryper centage.Iwant edt o
sendXav i
eramessageandaskhi m wher ehei s,
butthanIdon' twantt oseem l i
keaneedy
person.SoIj ustlookedatst at uesCar do
postedbecausehewast heonl yonewho
postedalot.Af tert hat,IwentoutofWhat sApp
andwentt oSnapchat .Itookasel fiewith
Snapchatandedi ted" i tme"i nit.Iwasst i
ll
wear i
ngXav i
er'sshi rtandchai n.Thenaf ter
savingthepicture.IwentonWhat sAppand
posteditwithy oucapt i
on" ", aft
eralloft hatI
unblockedmybr ot hers.Butt heyst il
lwon' tsee
thepi cture.Istart
edget ti
nghungrysoIat ethe
dryfruitjustt otonedownmyhunger .Boredom
startedst ri
kinginsoIt ookself
iesonhisl apt
op.
Al otofsel fi
es.Thenaf t
erawhileIwantedt o
getsomef reshair,soIwor emyjeans.Ilooked
formyshoesandf inall
yfoundthem t
henwor e
them.WhenIopenedt hedoorIwasshockedby
JRst andingout si
det hedoorli
keabody guard.
Whati sgoingon?Am Ii ndanger?

Me:
JR!*
shocked*
JR:
aft
ernoonma'
am.
Me:
real
l
ynow?
JR:
sor
ry.Af
ter
noon,Lona.
Me:whatar
ey oudoi
ngher
e?I
sev
ery
thi
ngokay
?
Wherei
sXavier?I
sheok?
JR:*
chuckl
es*y
onkei
ntoi
grand(
ever
ythi
ngi
s
okay
.)
Me:
sor
ry,
it'
sjustt
hatIwasnotexpect
ingt
his.
Youdonotneedt
owatchoverme.Iam nota
chi
l
d.Iknowhowover
prot
ecti
veXavi
eri
s.
JR: har
de,Lona.Uzohl
anyabandinohamba,
i
ngabekwangal eplek(I
'
m sor
ry,Lona.He'
l
lgo
crazyifIl
eavethispl
aceunwatched.
)
Me:*sighs*butIwantt
ogof
orawal
k.Justt
o
exer
cisemyl egs.
JR:kuzof
unekasi
m'f
ownel
e(wewi
l
lhav
eto
cal
lhim.)
Me:
Iwi
l
ldot
hat
.Don'
twor
ry.

Iwentbacki
nsidetheroom andcal
l
edXav
ier
.
Heansweredthecallv
eryfast.

Xav
ier
:youcan'
tl
eav
ether
oom
Me:
what
!?*
laughs*whynot
?
Xav
ier
:I'
l
ltel
lyouwhenIgett
her
e.
Me:
wher
ear
eyou?
Xav
ier
:Iwi
l
lbet
her
e.
Me:
youcan'
tcont
rol
whet
herIl
eav
eornot
.
Xavi
er:
Lel
onast
opbei
ngst
ubbor
n.Youar
e
i
njur
ed.
Me:ser
iousl
y?I
t'
sjustwhi
pbr
uisesandi
tisnot
t
hatdeep.
Xav
ier
:youar
enotl
eav
ing.
Me:
Ijustwantt
ogof
orawal
k.
Xav
ier
:I'
l
ltakey
ouf
orawal
kwhenIr
etur
n.
Me:canyoupl
easej
ustt
ell
mewher
eyouar
e
r
ightnow?
Xav
ier
:I'
mtur
ningbyShopr
it
eri
ghtnow,
Iwi
l
l
bet
hereinaf
ewmi nut
es.
Me:
okay
,Xav
ier
.

Hechuckledandwebot hhungup.Hecan'
tjust
sayIshouldnotleavetheroom.Thatisso
bossyandcontroll
ing.Iam t
hankf
ult
hathe
wantsmepr ot
ectedbutIam notachi ldthat
hastobelockedupandwat chedwheneverhe
l
eaves.Afterafewmi nuteshewalkedinside
theroom.Ifoldedmyar ms.Iwassi t
ti
ngont he
bed.Mybackwasagai nstthedashboardand
mylegswer estraightont hebed.Ihada
seri
ousfacialexpressionsohecanknowIdi d
notli
kewhathedi donebi t.

Xav
ier
:ar
eyour
eal
l
ythatupset
?

Ididn'
trepl
yandj uststaredathi
m.Hesmiled,I
tr
iedtohidemi nebecausehewassocut eand
i
twashar dnott oblushandsmi l
e.Hecamet o
mysi deofthesideboar dthenhesatont
he
bedhewasr eall
yclosetome

Xav
ier
:comeonIwast
ryi
ngt
opr
otecty
ouher
e.
Me:
from what
!?Am Ii
ndanger
?
Xavi
er:
no.ButIjustwantt
obecar
eful
adt
ake
saf
etyprecaut
ions.
Me:l
iar
,youj
ustdon'
twantmet
owonder
ar
oundtownwit
houtyou.
Xav
ier
:thatt
oo.*chuckl
es*
Me:well
thati
spret
tyunf
airbecauseyouj
ust
wenttot
ownwi t
houtme.ButIcan'tgowi
thout
you.
Xav
ier
:fi
ne,
I'
ll
takey
ouwi
thnextt
ime.
Me:
whati
fIwantsomeal
onet
ime?
Xavi
er:
that
'sf
inei
wil
ll
ety
ougetsomeal
one
ti
me.
Me: Ithoughty
ouweregoi
ngtosayno.Iwas
goingt obesoangr
y.Idonotl
ikebei
ng
controll
ed.
Xavi
er:
nowIknow*l
aughs*y
oust
il
lwantt
ogo
tot
heaquar
ium?
Me:
no.Let
'sj
ustdoi
ttomor
row.It
hinkt
oday
wehavetogotoSt
reetFev
er.Checkoutsome
newsneaker
s.
Xavier
:youl
ovesneaker
smor
ethanme
*chuckl
es*
Me:
thati
snotabadt
hingatal
l
.*l
aughs*

Helookedatme, againwit
hthatlookthatisso
sexyIfi
ndmy sel
ft hi
nki
ngaboutthingsthatI
shoul
dn't
.Henot icedthechai
n,andheldit.He
smil
edatit,
andjustchuckled.

Me:Icoul
dtakeitof
f.I
tjustl
ookedt
oocut
eto
bel
ayingonasideboard.
Xavi
er:
Idi
dn'
tsaytakei
tof
f.I
tlooksmor
e
goodonyouanyway.
Me:
thanky
ou.

Henodded,andl
eanedcl
oserqui
ckl
y.Iwas
shockedt hathewasaboutt okissme.Idi dn'
t
stophim, butt henheki ssedmycheek.Ismi l
ed
becausehi slipswer esosoft,Iwantedt otaste
them.Fuck!Thewor stishappening.IthinkI
am developingf eelingsforXav i
er.Hegotup
andwentt ohisl aptopont heothersideoft he
sideboard.Heopenedi tandluckilyhedidn't
seethepict uresIt ook,yet
.Ismi l
ed,because
onceheseest hem he'llj
ustsmileatmewi t
h
hiscutesmi le.

Xav
ier
:Iam justgoi
ngov
ersomeemai
l
sthen
wewil
lleav
e.Okay ?
Me:
okay
.Idon'
tmi
nd.I
'
llgochanget
hist
-shi
rt
.

Henoddedandcont i
nuedcheckinghisemail
s.I
wenttochangebackintomy" madness"t-
shi
rt.
Iwassti
llweari
ngthechain.Buti
twasinside
thet
-shi
rt
.OnceIwal kedout,hewasal so
donewit
ht hebusi
nessstuff.
Me:
Ineedmyphonechar
gedpl
ease.

Hereachedhi
shandoutf orit
.AndIgaveitto
hi
m.Henot i
cedthatthechainwasinsi
dethet-
shi
rt
.Hesmi l
esandpl acedhishandonmy
neckmakingmeshiverfrom hi
scoldhands.He
smil
ed,thenpul
l
edt hechainout.

Xav
ier
:nowy
ou'
regood.

Hechar
gedmyphonet
henhecamecl
oset
o
me

Xav
ier
:Let
'sgo.

Ismiledandbl
ushedt
hathewant
smet
owear
hischain.
.
.
-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Ismi ledcount ingupmyr entmoneyandi t
fi
nal l
yr eachedwher eIwanti ttotobe.
Tomor rowi tisset tl
edIwi llpaymyr ent.Then
ther emai ningmoneyIwi l
l getsomegr ocer i
es.
Afterf uckingPat rick,hefinall
ygav emeR20
000becauseIl iedandsai dIwant edtodo
somel ingerieshoppi ngandhewasmor ethan
happyt osponsormef orthat.Iwil
lhavet oget
anewsugardaddysoIwascanhav emor e
money .Iam t hel azytypet hatdoesnotwantt o
wor k.SoIwoul dr atherfuckment hatam r eall
y
will
ingt ogi veal otofmoneyt hentowor kshifts
thatwi llonlyrewar dmeal ousyR500perweek.
Ili
kemyl if
estyleandsomemaysayi t
's
prost i
tutionbutIdonotcar easl ongasi tpays
thebill
s.Iam okwi t
hit.Idi
dnotgohomet hi
s
holi
daybecauseIdonotwantt ogobackt omy
drunkfatherandhi smisbehav i
ngson.Myl itt
le
brothergetonmyner vesandwi thmydad
beingasi ngleparent
,hehadt ot akecar eofthe
bothofus, Ihadt obeamot hertomyl i
ttl
e
brother.Idi
dnotl i
kethatsoIpr omi sedmy self
i
fIleaveEast ernCape, Iam nevergoingbackt o
thathellhole.Therewasaknockont hedoor ,I
groanedget ti
ngupt ogoansweri t.Iwas
shockedt oseeadet ect i
vei
nmydoor step.

Det
ect
ive:
aft
ernoon,
Mi-
Kay
la:
whatdoy
ouwant
?*annoy
ed*
Det
ect
ive:
canIcomei
n?

Iopenedthedoorfurt
herandhewalkedin.I
wasconfusedwhyt hepol
icewashere.Idi
dnot
doanythi
ngil
legal
.
Det
ecti
ve:Iam j
usther
etoquest
iony
ouabout
t
hedisappear
anceofKhan-
Me:wait
,whoreport
edthi
s?Khany
iisprobabl
y
wi
ththeguyshel
eftwit
htheot
hernight
.
Detect
ive:hergr
andmot
heri
sver
yworr
ied
abouther.Shefi
ledami
ssi
ngper
sonscase.
Me:
what
?
Detect
ive:
Ineedyoutot
ell
meev
ery
thi
ngt
hat
happenedthatni
ght
.
Me:wejustwenttoaclub,hadfunandshesai
d
shewasgoinghomewi thherex,Idon'
t
rememberhisname,ThandoorThaboIthi
nk.
Det
ect
ive:
whi
chcl
ubwasi
t?

It
oldhi
mt henameandhewr oteitdown,
he
waswri
ti
ngev er
ythi
ngdown.Aftert
hathe
st
oodupfrom mysof a,
andshookmyhead.
Det
ect
ive:
thanky
ouf
ory
ourcooper
ati
on.

IjustnoddedandIl ethim out.Iwasv ery

scar edbecausewhati fshewasdeador
somet hi
ngandi twouldallbemyf aul t
.Ir
eall
y
didnott hinkRell
ikwouldhur therbutnowi t
believethathereallyli
kesthatfatbitchLona.I
receivedacal l
from Zikhona.Ir ol
l
edmyey es,
eversi nceKhany i
hasbeennowher etobe
found,Zi khonahasbeenannoy ingmeand
thinkingweshoul dbebestf ri
ends.Tobe
honest ,Il
ikedKhany imorethanher .

Me:
Zee
Zee:checkKhany
i'
sFacebook.*sniff
s*kut
hiwa
ulahl
eki
le(t
heyar
esayingshe'
smi ssi
ng)
*cri
es*
Myheartst oppedandi mmedi atelystarted
beati
ngv eryfast.Iquicklytookmyl apt opand
l
oggedinonFacebook.I t'
sal r
eadyal lover.
Peoplecannotknowwhathappenedi nthat
toi
let
.Idonotwantt hem blami ngme.Iwi l
lact
shockedt hatshe'smi ssi
ngsoIdon' thav e
peoplethinki
ngIknewaboutt his.Thisisall
Lona'
sfaul ti
fshedi dn'tcry,andRelli
kwoul dn't
havenoticedandshewoul d'vemadeusal l
happybyki ll
i
ngher self.

Me:pleasedon'tprankme, Zikhona.Khany ican

notbemi ssi
ng!Wewer eatthecl ubtogether,
andshewenthomewi thsomeguy ,herex
ThandoorThaboIt hi
nk,andt heywer eboth
nowheretobef ound.They'reprobablysti
ll
havi
ngf unel
sewher etogether.
Zee:
hewasfounddeadinhisfl
at.Andi
tlooked
l
ikei
twasbr
okeninther
e,Khanyiwasn'
tther
e
Me:
what
!?Whendi
dal
loft
hishappen?And
whyam Ij
ustf
indi
ngout
!?
Zee:apparentl
yhergrandmothert
ri
edcall
i
ng
herandshedi dn'
tanswersosheknew
somet hi
ngwaswr ongandfil
edami ssi
ng
person'scase.
Me:
Iwasnev
erquest
ionedbyt
hepol
i
ce.
Zee:
may
bet
heyst
il
ldon'
tknowy
ouwer
ether
e.
Me:
yeah.Ihopeshei
sokaywher
evershei
s.
Zee:metoo.Thi
scannotbehappeni
ngi
nher
fi
rsty
ear
.
Me:yeah.LookZee,
Ihav
etogo.I
'
llcal
lyou
l
ateron.
Zee:
okay
,by
echommi
e.

Ihungup.Ifmysuspici
onsarerightt
henthat
meansKhanyiwaskil
ledbyRell
ik,andthat
meansthatZi
khonaandSkylarareindanger.I
hopethosest
upi
dbitchesdonotment ionmy
name, becauseRell
i
kwi ll
alsoki ll
me.Andhe
di
dwar nmeabouthur t
ingLona.ButIwi l
ldo
anythi
ngt ogethi
mt obemi ne.AndI '
m not
stoppingnow,Khanyi'
sdeat hcannotbei nvai
n.
Therenogoi ngbacknow.Ial readyhav
e
start
edandIwi l
lgetRelli
kint heend.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Wewentt oStreetFeverandlookedatt
he
sneaker
s.Ikeptlooki
nguntil
IfoundtheoneI
real
lywant
ed.

Me:
Iam soget
ti
ngt
hese.Theyl
ookdope.
Xav
ier
:theyl
ookal
ri
ght
.
Me:
li
ar,
theyl
ookdope.I
'
llbuyy
ousomet
oo,
I
gotcash.*
chuckl
es*

Iwasj
oki
ng,buthegl
aredatmemaki
ngme
l
aughmore.

Me:whycan'
tIbuyyouthesesneaker
sbuty
ou
buymealotofthi
ngs?
Xav
ier
:becauset
hat
'snothowi
t'
ssupposedt
o
wor
k.
Me:thi
sisnot1980wher emal
eshadtot
ake
car
eofthei
rfemales.Thisi
s2017andwomen
canbuythi
ngsforment oo.
Xavi
er:
wellmymindisst
il
li
n1980andi
tisst
il
l
goi
ngtoremai
nthere.
Me:
mxm,I
'
llgopayf
ort
hese.
Xav
ier
:don'
ttestme,
Lel
ona.
Me:
*rol
l
sey
es*angerf
orwhat
?*chuckl
es*
Xav
ier
:Iwi
l
lbuyt
hesneaker
sfort
hebot
hofus,
j
ustnotl
ety
oubuyt
hem f
orme.
Me:nextti
meiam goi
ngshoppi
ng,Iwon'tt
ell
youbecausey
ouarebuyalotoft
hingsf
orme.
I
tisannoyi
ng.
Xav
ier
:mebei
ngamani
sannoy
ing?*
chuckl
es*
Me:no,youdisr
especti
ngmydecisi
ontonotlet
youbuymest uffi
sannoyi
ngbecauseIl
ike
bei
ngindependentandbuyi
ngmyownt hings.I
t
makesmef eelgood.
Xavi
er:
wel l
youwil
lfeel
evenbet
terknowi
ng
youwon'tuseacentwhenyouar
ewi thme.
Me:
wit
hyou?
Xav
ier
:yes,
wheny
ouaregoingt
oplaceswit
h
me.Whatdidy
out
hinkIwassay
ing?*smir
ks*

Xavi
erthinksheissmar t.Heissaying
somethingelsebutitactuall
ymeanssomethi
ng
el
setomakemef eelconfused.Idon'
tev
en
knowwhatt othi
nk.Idon' tknowifhemeans
whenIam wi thhi
m asi
ndatingorasi
nus
shoppingaroundandhangi
ngout.Hej
ustl
oves
confusingme.

Me:
nev
ermi
nd.

Hej ustsmi l
edatmeandwel ookforsomeone
tolookf oroursizes.Whent heper sonf i
nal l
y
cameback, wewentt opay .Wel lhepaid, Idid
notev enwantt roublesoIj ustkeptqui et.Hei s
aguywi thanegoandhel ikesknowi ngpeopl e
aroundhi m arewel l
takencar eof,that'
swhatI
noticedwi t
hhim.Hel i
kescont ol
li
ngt hi
ngsand
hewi llgetangrywhent hi
ngsdonotgohi sway .
Butt hat'
snotabadt hi
ng,i tshowshei sa
perfectioni
sthel i
kesev erythi ngtobeper f ect
andIam sur ehepl ansev ery thi
nghedoes.Il i
ke
that,itmeanshei sv erysur eabouthi sfutur e.
Het ookt hebagandwewal kedouthol ding
hands.Hel ookedatme, Ithi nkhewasshocked
thatIwastheonewhot ookhishandandhel di
t.
Heusuallydoesit.Hesmi l
edandIsmiledtoo.
Whenwewer eout ,
Ifr
ownedwhenIsaw
troubl
e.Kennysmi r
kedwhenhesawXav ier.
Xav i
ergl
aredathim.Gosh, whydidwehav eto
bumpi nt
ohimt oday!?
.
.
.
.
.
LONA'
SSELFI
E
[
02/
17,
16:
44]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT18
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
IheldXavi
er'
shandt i
ghtert
otel
lhi
mt ocontr
ol
hisangerbecauseIknowhim.He'l
lwantto
fi
ghtfornoreasonatall
.Hecouldj
ustavoi
d
thi
sbyignori
ngKenny .

Kenny:
enonsont
moetweer(andwemeet
agai
n.Nowinmyter
ri
tor
y.)
Me:
Xav
ier
,pl
easel
et'
sjustgo.*
whi
sper
s*
Kenny
:youshoul
dli
stent
oyourbi
tch,
Rel
l
ik.
Xavi
er:Idar
ey out
ocal
lherabi
tchonemor
e
ti
me.*angry*

Ipull
edXavier,
sohecanjustcal
m down.But
thatonl
yfueledhi
sanger.Hereal
lywantedt
o
fi
ghtandIjustwantedt
oleave.
Kenny
:she'
sabi
tch.

Nextt hingIknow, Xavierwasont opofKenny

throwingpunches.Hegotupandst ar
ted
kickinghim.Iwasnowont hev ergeoft ears.I
hav enev erseenXav i
erthisangr yandhewas
scaringme.Ev eryonest artedf or mingaci rcl
e
aroundt hem, thefightwasqui cklybr okenof f
.I
waswor r
iedthatthepol icewoul dcomeher e
andar restXav i
er.Xav i
erwasangr yasf uck,I
couldseehi smout hwasbl eedingsoKennydi d
endupt hrowingsomepunchest oo.ButKenny
l
ookedmessedup, becauseoft her i
ngsRel l
ik
waswear i
ngonhi sf i
nger s.Ipickedupt he
plasticwi t
hsneaker s.ThankGod, theywer en'
t
taken.Ipul l
edXav ierawayf rom peopl e
becauseIdi dnotwantt hisdr amaatal l.Iheld
hishandandt riedpul l
inghi mt owar dshiscar.
Me:canyoupl
easecontr
oly
ouranger?They
ar
eabouttocal
lthepol
i
ce.Letusjustgo.

Andt henIscr eamedwhenIf eltapunchonmy

sidecheekoutofnowher e.Iheldmycheeki n
pai n,IlookedbackandKennywast ryi
ngt o
punchXav i
erbuti tlandedonme.Xav i
erthrew
apunchathi m andKennyducked, thenwhen
hegotup,Xav ierquicklysneakedapunchand
i
tl andedst r
aightt ohisnose.Thef ightwas
brokenupagai n.Peopl ewer ehy pi
ngt hisup.I
wasst i
lli
npainbecauseofmycheek.Thi s
hol i
dayj ustwon' tletmehav emer elax.Fir
stmy
mot herwhoopsmyass.NowIhav ebeen
punched,uni nt enti
onallyIknow, butst il
lIhave
beenpunched.Somer andom guy shelpedme
getXav ierinthecarbecausehewassoangr y.
Hedi dnotwantt oleave.Hewant edt o
cont inuebeat i
ngKennyup.Af terget ti
nghimi n
thepassengerseat .
Me:
giv
emet
hekey
s.
Xav
ier
:fuckno.

Hetouchedmychinandcheckedmycheek.
Thenhesli
ghtl
ybrushedi
t,Iwi
nced.Hi
sjaw
cl
enchedinanger
.

Me:
Iam f
ine.
Xav
ier
:hef
ucki
ngt
ouchedy
ou!
Me:
Giv
emet
hekey
s,Xav
ier
.
Xav
ier:
IswearIam goi
ngt
oki
l
lthat
mother
fucker
!

Hewil
lnotki
ll
anyone.Iwi
ll
tal
ktohim but
whenhe'
scalmeddown.Becausether
eisno
uset
alki
ngtohim whenhei
sli
kethis.
Me:Xav
ier
.Iam notplay
ing.Gi
vemethe
f
ucki
ngkeysbef
oreItakethem my
sel
f!

Iwasupset,ifhehadjustignoredKennyt henI
wouldhavenotbeent ouchedi nthefucki
ng
face.Hetookthem outofhi ssweatpantsand
gavethem tome.Iplacedt heplast
ic
underneat
htheseathewassi tti
ngin.

Me:andyoubett
ernotmov ewhenIcl
osethis
doorandIwil
ldr
ivet
hiscartot
heB&B.Letthis
pett
ybull
shi
tgo!

Iwenttotheothersi
de.Iprayt herei
sn'
tany
traf
fi
ctodaybecauseIdon'thav ealear
ner'
s.
AndI '
m al
readydr
ivi
ngcars.Nor mall
yIdroveto
theB&Bandl ucki
l
yforme, therewasn'tany
traf
fi
calongtheway.Onther ide,Idi
dnoteven
utteroneword.AndXav i
erunderst
ood,sohe
didn'tev
ental
kto.Af
t erpar
king,webothgot
out.Hegotoutwiththeplasti
c.Iwalkedt
oour
room.

Xav
ier
:Lel
ona.
Me:
donotev
ent
alkt
omer
ightnow!

Oncewear r
ivedinourroom.Iwenttocheck
mycheekandi twaspink.I
twasabi tswol
len
too.Butitwasn'tt
oomuchdamageasIt hought
i
twoul dbe.Idranksomepai nki
l
ler
st ot
ake
awayt hepain.

Xavier
:whatthefuckdi
dIdo?Iwasdefendi
ng
you!*angr
y*youwantmet ol
etpeopl
e
disr
espectyou?!
Me:y
oudonottoreactwi
thvi
olenceev
ery
si
ngl
eti
mepeopletal
kshi
t!
Xavier
:hecal
l
edy
ouabi t
chandhefucki
ng
thr
ewapunchatyou.Icannotl
ethi
m doshi
t
l
ikethat.
Me:
justst
ayher
eI'
l
lbeback.
Xav
ier
:wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Me:
Isai
dst
ayher
e
Xavi
er:
donotf
ucki
ngt
estme,
Lel
ona.Nowi
s
notagoodt
ime.
Me:iam j
ustgoi
ngt
othemainrecepti
on.Do
youwanttohol
dmyhandthr
ought hat!
?

Iangr il
ywalkedt other ecepti
onandaskedf or
af ir
staidkitforXav i
erbecausehewas
bleedinginhismout h.Butheactssot oughas
i
fhedoesn' tf
eel shit
.Gosh, Isomet i
meshat e
howmanl yhei s.Ijustwishhecoul dcontr
ol hi
s
fuckingangerandst opent er
tai
ningbull
shitand
reactingwithv i
olence.Iwasgi venthefir
stai d
kit.Irushedtot heroom, andwhenIwast here,I
wasshockedt
oseeJRand4ot herguy
sther
e.
Xav
ierwassti
l
langry,
andwal
ki
ngupanddown
whi
letheywer
ejustst
andi
ngst
ill
.

Xavi
er:Iwanthi
m gone!Idon'
tgi
veaf
uck
aboutastupi
dwar.

Ishookmyhead, andpul
ledhimtosi
tdownon
thebed.ThenIopenedthefi
rstai
dki
t

Me:don'
tli
stent
ohi
m guy
s.That
'
sjustt
he
angert
alki
ng.
Xavi
er:
Lelona,hefucki
ngt
ouchedy
ou.Ican
notl
etthatsl
ide.
Me:
youar
enot
.Youar
ebei
ngmat
ureabouti
t.

Ist
art
edbycl
eani
ngt
hebl
oodof
fwi
thawet
cl
oth.
JR:ndinqi
nel
anoLonakule.Imfazweayont
o
uyi
funayookanyeoyi
dingayo(Iam wi
thLonaon
thi
sone.Wari snotsomethingyouwantnor
need.
)
Xavi
er:whot
hef
uckaskedy
ouabouty
our
opi
nion?

IslappedXav i
eronhisar m.Helookedupatme
si
ncemesi nceIwasst andi
ngupandhewas
si
ttingonthebed.ThenIputt hecolor
lessspi
rit
onhi sl
it
tl
ecutt hatwasnearhismout hwhich
hiswhyhewasbl eeding.Hewincedoncethe
colorl
essspiri
ttouchedhiswound.

Xav
ier
:andwhyt
hef
uckar
eyoucal
l
ingherLon-
me:
Isai
dso.St
opbei
ngr
ude.
Xav
ier
:Lel
ona-
Me: no.Thesearehumanstoo.Andyouarenot
ki
ll
ingKenny ,
awari st
oomuch.Iam sureyou
donotwantt odie.Nowstopfeedi
ngint
oyour
ego,andcalm down.

Theguy ssmiledatme,Xavierj
ustchuckl
ed
shakinghishead.Iwenttogethissome
painkil
l
ersandwat er
.ThenIgavethem tohi
m.

Me:
dri
nkup.

Hedrankthemedicat
ionandgavemebackt
he
bott
leofwater
.Theli
ttl
efr
idgehadpl
ent
yof
sti
l
lwater
.

Me:guy s,
cany oupleasecomebackwhenheis
cal
m andr ef
reshed?Iam goingt
omakesure
hesleepsandt hi
nkscareful
l
y.
Ialmostf ellwhenXav ierpull
edmet ohislap,
becauseIdi dn'texpecti t.Theguy swer e
cheesingatus, andIj uststar
t edgetti
ng
butter
fli
esi nmyst omach, becauseXav i
er
kissedmyshoul der .I
t'stheli
ttlethi
ngshedoes
thatmakemydev el opmor efeeli
ngsforhim.
Theguy sl ef
tandIl ookedatXav i
er.Hiswound
wasl i
ttl
ebutst il
litwasacut .It r
iedtotouchi
t
buthewi nced.

Me:
iti
spai
nful
?
Xav
ier
:al
i
ttl
ebi
t.

Hetouchedmybr
uisedcheek.Icoul
dsense
t
hathewasbecomingangryagain.

Me:
iti
sfi
ner
eal
l
y.
Xavier
:Ifeelli
kekill
i
nghim wi
thmyownhands
forevencall
ingy ouabit
chandhemadeit
worsebyt ouchingyou.Hekeepsf
ucki
ng
provoki
ngme.
Me:becauseheknowsyouwill
reacti
nanger.
Nextt
imejustl
ethimtal
khisbull
shi
tandnot
r
espond.Ever
yonewil
lseehowdumbhei s.
Xavi
er:noti
nthestr
eets.Il
ethim walkal
lov
er
me,thenI'
m apussy.Ineedti
met eachhi
ma
l
esson.
Me:
whaty
ouneedt
odoi
srest
.

Igotupf r
om hi slap,andopenedt hebed
coversforhim.Hesmi ledandtookoffhi
s
sweaterthenhi sshoeshewasnowshi r
tl
ess
becauseheal sotookof fhist
anktop.Healso
tookoffhissweat pant sandworeblackshort
s.
Iquiet
lyclearlymyt hroat,hei
sreall
ygett
ing
toocomf ortable.Hegoti nthebed.
Xav
ier
:am Iachi
l
dnow?
Me:wheny
ouar
ebehav
ingl
i
keone.Yesy
ou
ar
e.
Xav
ier
:Iseey
oul
i
kecont
rol
l
ingt
hingst
oo.
Me:
itf
eel
sat
adbi
tgood.
Xavi
er:
butnextt
ime.Letmeaddressmyboys.
Idonotwantyouinv
olvedi
nanygangshit
.And
whenyou'
retooni
cetheywil
lwal
kallov
eryou.
Me:theyarehumans, t
heyhavefeel
ings.You
bel
it
tl
ingJRlikethatwasnotcoolatall
.AndI
havetotel
lyouthetrut
hifIdonotli
ke
somethi
ngandIdi dnotli
kethat
.
Xav
ier
:fi
ne.Justt
alkt
omepr
ivat
elynoti
nfr
ont
oft
hem.

Ismil
edthenwentt
otheothersi
deofthebed.I
tookof
fmyshoesandtookhismili
tar
yshi
rt
thenrushedtothebat hroom tochange.Iwas
scaredagaintoleavethebat hr
oom withonly
thi
sshor tt
-shi
rt
.Ifinal
lyquickl
ywentoutand
gotinthebed.Hel ookedatmeandj ust
chuckledatmychi l
dishacti
ons.Hewas
watchingrugbyont heTV.

Me:
cany
oupl
easepassmyphone?
Xav
ier
:geti
tyour
sel
f*smi
rks*
Me:
Xav
ieri
tisnex
ttoy
ou.
Xav
ier
:geti
tyour
sel
f,Lel
ona.

Igroaned.Thiswashi sexcuset oseemyass

becauseclearlytheshir
tistooshortandmy
asswi l
lbeex posed.Idecidedtosacri
fi
cemy
phone.Hechuckl edwhenIf oldedmyarmsand
l
eanedagai nstthedashboard.Thenhet ookmy
phoneoutofhi slaptopandgav eittome.I
smiledandcheckedmyWhat sAppmessages
andtheywerenonethat
'showmyl
if
ewas
bor
ing.Xav
iershockedmewhenhepul
l
edme
cl
osertohi
m.

Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?*
blushes*

Hewr appedhi shandaroundmywaist.Hehel d

mywai standl ai
dhisheadonmychest ,wellmy
breast
s.Myhear tst
art
edbeat i
ngf
ast,Iquickly
contai
nedmy sel
fbefor
ehef eel
smyhear t
beat
beati
ngf ast
.Hewasdoi ngthiswhi
lecontinuing
watchingTV.

Xav
ier
:get
ti
ngcomf
ort
abl
e.
Me:
onme?
Xavi
er:
yesnow, qui
etdown.Thegamei
s
get
ti
ngint
erest
ing.
Ijustsmi l
edathi m andl ethim becomf ortabl
e.
Iwant edt obr ushhi sli
ttlecur lyhairbutt henI
didnotwantt omakei tseem awkwar d.ButI
wentwi thmyf ir
stinsti
nctandbr ushedhi sli
ttl
e
wav yhai r.Icouldseehewasenj oyingthi s.He
wasev ensmi li
ng.Ihav enev erbeent hiscl ose
toanyguyt hatisn'tmyf ami l
y.It'
slikeIam
mov ingwayt oofastwi thXav ier
.Ev en
practicallyli
vewi thhim wi t
houtmycl othes.He
l
ay sonmybr eastsandIl ethim.Heki ssesmy
cheekandIl ethim, earl
iert odayIsl eptwayt oo
closet ohi m beforeIwokeupwi t
hhi m nowher e
tobef ound.If eelli
keIam ev enforgetting
Omar ,andIdonotl i
ket hatf eeli
ngbecause
Omarmeantsomucht ome,andIdonotwant
toseem l i
keInev ercar edabouthi m becauseI
reall
ydi d.Xav ierandOmarar ereall
ydi fferent
peopl ey ettheybot hmakemef eelspeci al,
whatam Isay ing?Omari sdeadandhei snot
comi ngback.Hemademef eelspecial.Past
tense, nowhei sgone.AndIcannotkeep
compar ingXav i
ertoadeadper son.Iwantt o
mov eonf r
om whatmeandOmarshar ed
becausecl earlyitisnotcomi ngback.Butt hen
Xavierseemsl ikethet ypet ohav epl ent yof
gir
lsbeggi ngf orhim.Am Iwi l
l
ingt olethispl ay
withmyf eeli
ngsbecauseIam sur ehehasdone
i
twi t
hpl entyofgi rls.Whati sdiffer entaboutme?
Iam anobody ,j
ustaner d.Hepr obabl yseesme
asaki dorhei sdoi ngal lofthistoj ustt ogeti n
mypant i
esandsayhehadsexwi thme.I fhei s
realthenIcannotdat esomeonewi t
hanger
i
ssues.Sot hiscrush,i t
'sjustacr usht hatIdo
notseegoi ngany wher e.Itwillfadeov erat
l
eastIhopei tdoes.Af terawhi le,Ihear dhi m
breatheheav il
yl i
kehewassl eepi ng.Ismi led
andjustcont i
nuedbr ushinghishai rbecausehe
needst her est.Thisgav emeachancet o
admi reouthi stattoosandwhol ebody .Hi s
tatt
ooswer eal otandv eryintri
gui ng.If rowned
whenIsawt hebr uiseshehadonhi shands.I
couldseehet ookof fhisr i
ngs.Idonotwant
Xavieri
nvolvedinfi
ghtsbecauseofme.He
couldgetreallyhur
torgetjai
lti
mebecauseof
him notcontroll
i
nghisanger.Icar
eful
l
ytook
theremotetochanget hechannelbut
acci
dentall
ywokehi m.

Me:
sor
ry,
youcangobackt
osl
eep.

Hej ustnoddedandhel dmet i

ghterandI
brushedhisheadagai ntomakehi m sleep.I
thi
nkt heypainki
l
lersweremaki nghim sleepy.
Hesl eptagai
nasIwaswat chedKeepingUp
WithTheKar dashians.Iwasinlovewithr eal
i
ty
showsev enthoughsomear ejustfi
xed.
~~
Hewokeupat6pm wel lhi
sphonerang,andI
hadt owakehim upbecauseIdidnotwantto
i
nv adehi
spri
v acyandanswerthecall
.He
groanedwakingupandsnat chedhi
sphone
f
rom t
hesi
deboar
d.

Xav
ier
:what
?

Ishookmyheadathisrudeness.Hecuddl
edon
mychestagai
n.Ij
ustsmiled,becausehei
s
acti
ngli
keababy.Helovesat t
enti
on.

Xavier
:Itol
dy ouIwil
lbebackt her
enextweek..
.
ScrappyIam sureiti
snott hatf
uckingbad,I
will
handleitwhenIcomeback. ..j
usthandl
eit
fornowandIwi ll
fixever
ythingwhenIretur
n.

Thenhehungup.Hegotup, andcheckedmy
cheek.Ij
ustsmiledathim cari
ngsomuchf or
me.Af t
erthatheconti
nuedcuddlingwithme,
andjustwatchedtheTV.
Me:
lookwho'
sthebabynow.
Xav
ier
:hoej
oubek(
hol
dyourmout
h)
Me:
*chuckl
es*y
ouj
ustl
oveat
tent
ion.
Xavier
:thi
sisacomf
ort
abl
espotf
orme.
*chuckl
es*
Me:
yeahwhat
ever
.
Xav
ier
:andwhatt
hef
uckar
eyouwat
chi
ng?
Me:
donotj
udge.*
laughs*
Xav
ier
:thi
ngsy
ougi
rl
swat
ch.*
shakeshead*

Just5mi nuteslater,foodwasser vedforhim.I

mademyownl ittl
esupperwi t
ht hefoodIgot
from Checkers.Itdidn'tr
equi
remet ocookitso
Iwashappy .Af t
erweat eourfood,Idecided
thatIneededt otalktoXav i
eraboutt hi
swhole
warthing.Idonotwantt odie.

Me:
weneedt
otal
k.
Xav
ier
:soundsser
ious.
Me:
iti
s.
Xav
ier
:okay
,Iam l
i
steni
ng.
Me:
youcannotki
l
lKenny
.
Xav
ier
:Lona-
Me: no,l
ist
en.Anunnecessar
ywarwi l
lget
createdandpeopl
ewillgetki
l
led.Idonotwant
todie.Iam onl
y18
Xavi
er:
whi
l
eIam st
il
lal
i
ve,
noonewi
l
ltouch
you.
Me: whataboutyourfami
ly?Myf amily?The
i
nnocentpeoplethatwil
lbehurtthroughall
of
thi
s.PleaseXavi
er.Pl
easedon'tstart
somethingyouwon'tbeabletofini
sh.Ihearda
l
otaboutgangwar s.Theyneverendwel l
.
Xavi
er:nextt
imehedoesf
uckedupshi
t.Iwi
l
l
hav
et okil
lme.
Me:
sot
hatmeansy
ouwon'
tki
l
lhi
m?
Xav
ier
:I'
mlet
ti
ngt
hisonesl
i
de.

Isqueal
edandhuggedhi
m.Hechuckl
edashe
huggedmeaswell.

Xavier
:tomorr
owIwi
l
lgogety
ourcl
othesf
rom
yourhouse.
Me:
youcannotgoal
onemymom wi
l
lfl
i
p
Xav
ier
:Icanhandl
eher
.
Me:
Xav
ier
..
..
Xavi
er:t
rustme.Iam j
ustgoi
ngt
otaket
he
sui
tcaseandleav
e.
Me:
Iwi
l
lbet
her
e.
Xav
ier
:no.Youwi
l
lbeher
e.
Me:
am Iapr
isonerher
e?
Xav
ier
:no,
butIam keepi
ngy
ousaf
-
Me:
thenIam comi
ngwi
th.Ihav
etoseemy
mom aft
erthati
nci
dent
.Shemustbewor
ri
ed
aboutwher
eIam.
Xav
ier
:*si
ghs*whyi
sitt
haty
ounev
erl
i
stent
o
me?
Me:
becausey
oual
sonev
erl
i
stent
ome.
Xav
ier
:*l
aughs*y
ouar
esomet
hingel
se.
Me:
Iknowri
ght
!?Suchanamazi
ngper
sonIam
*
smirks*
Xav
ier
:okay
,youhangaroundmetoomuch.
Nowmyswagi sr
ubbingoffony
ou.
Me:yourcocki
nessi
srubbi
ngof
fonme,
you
mean.

Hechuckledthenwewat
chedsomeTVbuthe
keptannoyi
ngmebyworkingsomuchonhi
s
l
aptop.
~~
Tomor
rowIwokeupandaf
termymor
ning
hygi
ener out
ine.Hebor
rowedmehisover
sized
t-
shir
t.Iworeitwi
thmyjeansandwhi
te
sneakers.

Me:whenweretur
nIwi
l
lchangedandwewi
l
l
got
otheaquari
um.
Xav
ier
:okay
.

Wedr ovetomyhouse, andIwon' tl

ie.Iwas
veryscar edofwhatwi l
l happen.Oncehe
parked, Iwasev enscaredt owalkout.ImeanI
l
eftmyhomet oshar
ear oom wit
hXav ier.My
dadwi l
lverysodisappointed.Mom musthav e
alr
eadyt wist
edthestoryofwhathappenedt hat
day.Idon' tevenwanttot hinkofthewor dsshe
wil
l sayt ome.

Xav
ier
:youar
eready
?
Me:
yeah.Let
'sgo.
Webot hwalkedout,andIknockedt helockon
thegat e.Aft
eralongt i
me.Myauntopenedt he
door.Shewasaboutt osaysomet hi
ng,butt
hen
shelookedatXav ieranddi dn'
tsayanythi
ng.
Sheopenedt hegate,andwal kedbackinthe
house.Wewal kedinthehouseandassoonasI
entered.Isawmymom, shestaredatme.My
heartst ar
tedbeati
ngf ast.
[
02/
17,
16:
44]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT19
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Lona'
slookedather
,ther
ewer
ejustst
ari
ngat
eachother
.

Mr
sD:
yourcl
othesar
einy
ourr
oom.

Lonanoddedwi t
ht earyeyes.Iglar
edatLona's
mother,
ifshement ionsanythingaboutme
beati
ngherup.IswearIwi llkil
lherandbe
happyaboutit
.Iwon' tl
oseLonabecauseofher .
Especi
all
ywhenLonai sstarti
ngtotrustme.
Lonawenttoherr oom,andt ookhersuit
case
fr
om herroom.Ifollowedaf t
erher.Shestar
ted
sni
ffi
ng.

Me:
arey
ouokay
?
Lona:sheisnotevenapologi
singforhurti
ng
me.Ireturnhomethinki
ngshei sworr
iedbut
shejusttel
lsmemycl othesar
ei nmyr oom.
Whattypeofmot herdoesthat
!?Gosh,
someti
mesIhatehersomuchf
ormaki
ngme
feel
li
keIdon'
tmatt
er.
Me:hey
!Youdomat ter
.Al
ot,
especi
all
ytome.
..
.andyourbr
other
s.
Lona:
thanks.*
smi
l
es*

Icouldseet hatshewassmi l
i
ngpai nful
ly
becauseshej ustwant edtocr yallherpain
away .AndIdi dnotl i
keseei nghercr yatal l
.It
's
l
ikeakni feisbei ngtwistedinmyhear tseei ng
tearsonherf ace.Shepickedupasmal lbook
thatlookedlikeadi aryandIhel pedherwi thher
bigsuitcase.Oncewewentout side,hermom
rushedt olockt hegatewi thoutevensay ing
goodby etoLona.Thesui t
casewasachal lenge
putti
ngi ti
nt hecarbecauseoft hepai ninmy
hands, butImanaged.Iopenedt hedoorf or
Lonaandshegoti n.Irushedt omysi deandI
spedt otheB&B.Iopenedt hedoorf orheragai n
andt ookouthersui tcase.Whenwear ri
vedi n
myroom,shethr
ewhersel
fonthebedand
cl
osedherey
eslooki
ngupatthecei
li
ng.

Me:
youst
il
lwantt
ogot
otheaquar
ium?
Lona:
yespl
ease.
Me:
let
'sbot
hchangeandwe'
l
lgo.

Shenoddedandgotup.Sheopenedher
suitcaseandt ookoutt heclot
hessheneeded,
shewal kedtothebat hroom tochange.Ial so
changedi nt
omywhi teGucci hoodie.Anda
blackbomberj acket.Thenwor emyr edGucci
headband.Iwaswear ingmybl ackkneer ipped
j
eanswi thwhitesneaker s.Aft
eralongt ime,
shecameoutwear i
ngabl acksupremehoodi e
andt ightbluekneer i
ppedj eansthenhadon
blackkneehi ghboot st hatwereli
kehi ghheels.
Herhai rwasi namessybun.Il ovet hatshe
neverwear smakeup.I tmakesherl ookmor e
beaut
if
ult
hansheal
readyi
t.

Me:
all
done?
Lona:
yes.

Iwal
kedcl
osert
oherandhel
dherwai
st.She
l
ookedupatme.

Me:t
hisiswhyIdidnotwanty
out
ogot
her
e.
Sher
uinsyourspi
ri
t.
Lona:
Iam sor
ry.
Me:don'
tbe.Sheshoul
dbe.Now for
getabout
herf
orali
tt
lebitandt
rytohav
efun.
Lona:
Iwi
l
l.*
smi
l
es*

Iki
ssedherf
oreheadandshewr
appedher
handsar
oundmybodyhuggingme.
Lona:t
hanky ouforeveryt
hing.Real
ly
.Wi t
hout
you,Iprobablywouldn'
thavesurvi
vedanyof
theset
hings.Ireal
l
yappreciatewhatyouhave
doneforme.
Me:
diti
s'npl
esi
er.(
Iti
sapl
easur
e)

Shesmi l
edandt henbrokeof fthehug.When
wer et
urnfrom t
heaquar i
um Iwil
laskLonato
bemygi rl
fr
iendIam t i
redofbeatingaroundthe
bushabouthowIf eel
.Iwanthert obemi neand
onlymine.Whenwewal kedoutIdecidedto
sendJRaqui ckmessaget odor omanticshi
t
forLonawhenIr eturnfrom EastLondon.

Me:doenietsromanti
esesoosindief
ilmsvi
r
Lona(dosomet hi
ngsromanti
cli
keinthe
moviesforLona)intheroom,Iwantt
osurpr
ise
herwhenIgetback.
JR :
sur
ethi
ng,
bozza.

IopenedthedoorforLonaandshet hankedme
gett
ingi
n.Irushedtotheothersi
de.Myphone
rangwhenIstartedt
hecar.ItwasScrappy.

Me:
Scr
ap.
Scr
appy
:youneedt
oret
urnASAP.
Me:Itol
dyou,ni
gga.Ekwi
llj
ousi
enindi
e
vol
gendeweek.(
Iwil
lseey
ounextweek)
Scrappy: Kennyispl
anni
ngtodosomethingt
o
you.Ourspycal ledmeyest
erday
.Youarein
histerri
tory,youknowGhostcannotpr
otect
yout her
e.
Me:
Iheary
ou.
Scrappy
:event houghhecan'
tki
l
lyoubecause
ofthewar.Itdoesn'tmeanhewon'
thurtyou.
KeepLonasaf e.
Me:
fede(
shar
p)

Ihungupt hecall
.IdidnotLonat owor r
y ,soI
didn'
tcancelt
heaquar i
um t r
ip.Idroveof fto
EastLondon.Shedi dn'tknowEastLondont hat
wellsoIhadGoogl ewher etheaquar ium was.
OnceIfoundt hedestination,IusedaGPSapp
onmyphonet oleadust othepl ace.Whenwe
fi
nall
yarri
ved,shehadt hisbigsmi le.Ithink
shewasr eal
lyexcit
ed.

Me:
andwe'
ref
inal
l
yher
e.

Igotoutandopenedt hedoorf orher.She

walkedout,andheldmyhand.Ismi led
becauseclearl
yshehadf eeli
ngsformenow.
Mypl anworked.Ieli
minatedOmar ,becameher
comf or
terandfinal
l
yshedev elopedfeeli
ngsf
or
me.Ipaidthemoneyt ogetinandwewent
i
nsi
de.Icoul
dseehowherey
esl
i
tupev
ery
t
imeshewouldseeafi
sh.

Lona:
wow.

Shegaspedwhenshesawashar k.Ismi l
edat
herbecauseshel ookedsof uckingbeaut if
ul.I
don'tunderstandhowagi rll
ikethisdoesn'tsee
howbeaut i
fulsheis?Shehast hemostper fect
body .Thejeanswer esof ucki ngtight,itmade
herasspopout .Lonai ssoamazi ng, andthe
thi
ngt hatmakeshermor ebeaut ifuli
st hatshe
doesn'tbragaboutherbeaut y.Sheisj ust
chill
ed,andwhatshedi dwi ththef i
rstaidkit
showedmet hatsher eal l
ycar esandshei s
will
ingtodowhat everf orme.Shekeepsme
calm andawayf r
om maki ngi r
rati
onal decisi
ons.
Ifi
twasn' tforherIwoul d'
v ekill
edKennyanda
bigwarwoul d'
vebeencr eat ed,becauseKenny '
s
fatherisverypower ful.Andawarwi thhim
couldmeant hatIam di ggingmyowngr av e.I
cannotj ustputLona' slifeindangerl iket hat.
Sheisst i
lli
nherf i
rsty ear.Shel ovesher
academi csandIwantt oletherf i
nishher
studi
essoIwon' tjeopar disethatforher .She
meansal ottome.Idon' tev enbelievet hatI
actuall
yam f al
li
ngf orher .Ineverpl annedt o
feelthi
sway , f
all
i
ngi nl oveandbei nga
gangsterisabadt hing.Becausey ourl over
becomesy ourweakness.

Lona:
arey
ouokay
?
Me:
ja
Lona:
youhav
ebeenqui
et.
Me:
ekdi
nkoori
ets.(
I'
mthi
nki
ngofsomet
hing)
Lona:
whati
sit
?
Me:
wher
edi
dyoul
ear
naf
ri
kaans?*
chuckl
es*
Lona:t
hat'
swhaty
ouar
ethi
nki
ngabout
?
*l
aughs*
Me:no,
buti
t'
saquest
ionIal
way
swantt
oask
you.
Lona:ItookAf
ri
kaansasasubj
ecti
nhi
gh-
school.
Me:
soy
oucanspeaki
t*smi
l
es*
Lona:
no*
chuckl
es*butIunder
standi
t.
Me:
youshoul
dsur
pri
semeandspeaki
nit
.
Lona:yeah,no*l
aughs*nowtel
lmewhatyou
werethinki
ngaboutthaty
oucannotenj
oythi
s
beaut
ifulpl
ace.
Me:
justaboutl
i
ghtst
uff
.Iti
snoti
mpor
tant
.
Lona:j
ustt
ell
meandst
opbei
ngdr
amat
ic.
*smil
es*
Me:
Iwi
l
ltel
lyouwhenwegetbackt
otheB&B.
Lona:
whycan'
tyouj
ustt
ell
menow?
Me:
becauseandi
funi(
Idon'
twantt
o.)
Shel aughedatmespeaki ngXhosaIdon' tknow
whyshekeepsl aughingatmespeaki ngXhosa
becauseIspeaki twel l.Iwr appedmyar m
aroundhershoul derandwewal kedar oundt he
placewi t
hhert al
kingnon- stopabouthowcool
thisshiti
s.Iam nott her omant ictype,t hat'
s
whyIcommandedJRt odot hatshitinthe
room.Idon' tevenknowwhathewi lldoasl ong
asLonal ovesittheni tisokaywi t
hme.Af t
er
theaquar i
um wewentt ogetsomet hingt oeat.
Butshesai dshewasn' thungr ysoIhadt opark
atSparandf or
ceheroutt hecart ogetherf ood.

Lona:
Ireal
l
yam nothungr
y*chuckl
es*
Me:
justgetsomet
hingt
oeat
.

Shetookdryf
rui
tandsomey oghur
tthenj
uice.I
shookmyhead.Ihavet
oconv i
ncehertoeat
properf
oodwhenwegetbackhome.I twasa
bitl
atesoIdi
dn'
twanti
tcauseastupidfi
ghtin
Spar
.

Me:
youwanttogohomei
mmediat
ely
?Ori
s
t
her
esomethi
ngelsey
ouwantt
odo?
Lona:
Iam t
ir
ed,
so,
homepl
ease.
Me:
okay
.

Ipaidforherthingsandwewentt othecar.I
wenttoadr iv
ebyMcDonal d'
stogetsomet hing
formet oeat.Thenwedr oveof fbackhome.
Wewer etheonlyonesint hefreeway ,andit
didn'
tfeelqui
tebadunt il
..
.Isawcar sblocking
theway .Iwaspi ssedbecauseKennymayhav e
somethingtodowi tht
his.Iquicklytookoutmy
phoneandgav eittoLona.

Me:immedi
atel
ycal
lJRandt
ell
them t
ocome
her
efast
.
Lona:
whydon'
tyoudoi
tyour
sel
f?
Me:
Ihav
etohandl
esomet
hingf
ir
st.

Shelookedatt
hecar
s,andst
art
edbr
eat
hing
heav
y .

Lona:
Xav
ierno!Youcannotgooutt
her
e.What
i
f-
Me:notquest
ions.Cal
lJR.Anddonotgetout
oft
hiscar.

Shenoddedscar
ed,
Isi
ghedandhel
dherf
ace.

Me:Iam ser
iousLona.Nomatt
erwhat
happensdonotleav
ethi
scar
.

Shel
ookedscar
edandj
ustnoddedbecause
theywerealotofcar
s.Probabl
yl i
ke6carsand
Iwasonlyone.Scrappywasr i
ght,i
tis
danger
ousformebei ngi
nt hei
rterr
it
ory.

Me:onceyougetout.Theywill
thi
nkyouar
e
i
nvol
vingyour
selfi
nitandtheywil
ldo
somethi
ngcrazy
.

Shel
ookedatmewi
tht
ear
yey
es.

Me:
Iwi
l
lbeokay
.

Imadesur emygunwassecur edinthebackof

myj eansandIgotoutthecar .OnceIlocked
thedoor swit
hat ouchofabut toninmykeys.
Shequi ckl
ycall
edJR.Iwal kedclosertothe
carsthatwerebusyalsoblastingTrapmusic.
Kennywal kedoutofaMer cedesBenzAMG.
Thent herestst
artedwalki
ngout .
Me:asneakat
tack?*
chuckl
es*y
ouar
eget
ti
ng
weakerbyt
heday.
Kenny
:sweetLonawon'
tthi
nkt
hatwhenIam
donewit
hyou*smir
ks*
Me:
awari
sn'
tsomet
hingy
ouwant
,Kennyboy
.

JustasmuchasIcan' tkil
lhi
m, hecan'tkil
lme.
Ghostwil
lgetpissedandawarwi l
lhappen.But
Kennylov
espr ovoki
ngmebecauseunl i
kehi m,I
cannotcontrolmyangerthatmuch.If
someonemesseswi t
hmeorsomeoneIl ove.I
wantthem dead,andIwanttobet heonet hat
ki
ll
sthem.That '
swhyIwasnamedRel lik
becausewhenIgetangr yIbecomeaKi l
ler
.

Kenny:
*chuckl
es*no,
butbeat
ingyouupjustt
o
scar
eyourgir
lwil
lmakemeav eryhappyni
gga.
Iwasnowmor eangry,
butIneedt
ocalm down
andst
all
them bytal
ki
ng,soJRandtheothers
canmakeither
e.

Me: j
ydinksywi l
lpr
aatmetjou?* chuckl
es*jy
droom groot
.(Youthinkshewil
ltalkwithyou?
Youdream big.)
Kenny:syi
s'nmei
sie.Eendagsywilgeei
n
(shei
sagirl
.Onedayshewil
lgi
vein)shegav
e
i
nt oy
ou.
Me:
Iam war
ningy
ou.
Kenny
:youwil
ldowhat
?* chuckl
es*l
ookatt
his
ni
ggathi
nki
ngheisst
il
ltough.

Allhi
sst upi
dlapdogslaughed.I
nmymi ndIwas
hopingLonawi l
lli
stentomeandr emaini
nthat
car.Butknowingmybaby .Shei
sstubbor
n,she
probablywil
lneverli
stentome.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
WhenXavi
erwalkedout
,Iqui
ckl
ycal
l
edJR.He
answer
edver
yfast.

Me:youneedt ocometothef
reeway,j
ustaft
er
Mdatsane.Wewer ecomi
ngbackfrom East
London.KennyhasambushedXavi
er.Youneed
tohurr
yup.
JR:
okay
,geti
nthecarandst
ayi
nthecar
.
Me:
okay
.Iam al
readyi
nthecar
.

Whydotheykeept el
l
ingmet ostayinthecar?I
l
ookedatt
hem, theyweret alki
ngforalong
t
ime.Atevenonemomentt heybothlookedat
meandcontinuedtal
king.IcouldseeKenny
wasbei ngangr ierbyt hemi nut e.Outof
nowher ehet hrewapunchatXav ier.Andt hat'
s
wher eXav ierwentcr azyandst artedbeat i
ngt he
fuckoutofhi m.Theot herguy sst arted
attackingXav i
ert ooIcoul dev enseet hem
takingouthi sgun.Iwasscr eami ngsoscar ed
theymi ghtact ual l
ykillhim.Icannotj ustsit
hereandwat cht hem beathi m upl i
ket hatI
quicklyunl ockedmydoorandgotoutt hecar
andr ant or emov ethem f rom hi m.Oneguyhel d
mebackr oughly .Iwascr yingandcal l
ingXav i
er.
Hewasont het arroadbl eedingal otandI
couldseeherwasbadl yhur t.

Kenny
:isn'
tshebeaut
if
ul?

Hewal
kedcl
osert
omeandIkeptsni
ff
ing.I
wi
shJRcoul
dgether
efast
er.
Xav
ier
:Isweari
fyouf
ucki
ngt
ouchheragai
n.
Kenny
:neverhaveIeverthoughty
ouwould
haveaweakness,Rel
l
ik.Youalwaysgambled
wit
hpeopl
e'sweaknessesnowi ti
syourt
urn.

Iwascr yingl i
kecr azy
,Xav i
erl
ookedatme
wor r
ied.Iwassoscar edbecausei nt i
mesl i
ke
thi
speopl egetki dnappedorr aped.Whyi nt he
helldidIchooset ohangoutwi t
hagangst er!
?
NowIcan' tj
ustl ethim gethurtbecauseint he
processIgethur ttoo.WhatIf eelf
orhi m Ican't
describebecauseIcannotsayi tislove,we
metl i
keamont haway .Iti
stoosoont osayi ti
s
l
ov e.Itr
iedt oningdownmycr ies.Ididn'
twant
them tohur tXav iermorebecauseIwasl oud.I
didnotwantt hem t ohurtmeei t
her.

Kenny
:maybeanightwi
thherwon'
tbet
oo
much.Don'
tyougent
sthi
nk?
Myey espoppedouti nfear.Xaviertr
iedget t
ing
upbuthewaski ckeddownbyanot herbigguy .
Theonehol dingmet rieddr aggi
ngmet owards
acar .Iscreamedandr esisted.Theheel swer e
nohel pt houghandt heguywasv er
yt ough.I
screamedandscr eamed.Iwasshov edinthe
car.Itriedgetti
ngoutbutt heguygoti nand
hel
dmest il
l.Anotherguygoti nont heot her
ri
ghtsi de.

Me:
Xav
ier
!Xav
ier
!

Isawcarsappr
oachi
ng.t
heywer
espeedi
ngof
f
veryf
ast
.

Kenny
:getheroutofherf
ast
!*shout
ing*
Itri
edpoki
ngtheot herguyintheeye,i
twor ked
andIalsodi
ditont hedr i
versohecannotdr i
ve.
Icannotbekidnappedt oday!Notever,the
otherguywhowassi tti
ngintheri
ghtside
sl
appedmesohar d,Isawsomet inycolourful
stars.

?
?:dr
ive,
youi
diot
!

Thecarst
art
edmov i
ngsl
owlyandmyhear t
star
tedmovi
ngfast,
mybreathi
nggotabnor
mal
andIwasstr
uggli
ngtobr
eathe.

??
:itheninal
emedi
kaRel
l
ik?(
What
'swr
ong
wit
hRel l
i
k'sgi
rl
)

Ifel
ttheneedtov
omitsobad,beforeIknewi
tI
wasv omit
ingont
heguyontheright.Whowas
theonetal
kingal
ot.If
eltabi
tbetterat
breathing.Theguyscreamedandshout edat
met hent hemostscariestthi
nghappened.The
carwashi t
,makingi
tspinandspi nunti
l i
t
stopped.Myheadwassosor ef r
om the
spinningandf r
om hi
tt
ingt hechai
rinfront.The
guysopenedt hedoor,Iwaspul l
edoutoft he
car.IsawJR.

JR:
lethergo.

Het ri
edtocomecl oser,butIwasaimedwitha
gun.Igaspedt hinkingabouthowIam goingto
die.Iusedtopr ayfordeathtocomet ome,now
Iam soscar ed.Iwasgoi ngtohaveasecond
panicattack.Iscreamedwhenoneguywas
shot,andIdon'tev enknowwher ethebul
l
et
camef rom.Ist aredathisli
fel
essbodywith
tearsfol
lowingr epeatedl
y.
JR:
shoul
dIr
epeatmy
sel
f?

Iwaspr ayi
ngsohar d,evenpromi si
ngGodIwi l
l
gotochur cht henextSunday .Ij
ustcannotl ose
mylifeatonl y18,mybr othersstil
lneedme.I
heardanot hershotfir
eof f,
Iwasj ustcry
ingand
aski
ngmy selfwhyt hi
shappenedi nmylife?I
missmybor ingli
fewi t
honl yj
ustbooksand
family
.Whati shappeningtodayi ssoscaryI
don'
tev erwantt otalkaboutitagain.Theguy
pushedmet owar dsJRandt r
iedtorun.Buthe
gotshotbyJR.Ihav enev erseensomanydead
bodiesinmyl i
feandsomuchbl ood

JR:
sukhal
aumoj
a(don'
tcr
y,y
ou'
reokay
.)
Me:w-wher
eisXavi
er?Isheo-okay
?Canwe
j
ustgohomepleaseplease.
JR:ndi
zokuhambi
sakhona(
Iwi
l
ltakey
ou
ther
e)
Me:no.!No!Iam goi
ngwi
thXav
ier
.Wher
eis
he?Pleasetakemetohi
m.

Anot
herguycameclosert
ous,
Inoti
ceditwas
oneofXavi
er'
sguy
s.Hewasbehindthecar

Me:
hewast
heoneshoot
ing?
JR:
yeah,
thi
sisShoot
er.

Inodded,
wegoti
nthecar,andIwassti
l
l
shaki
ngscar
edfr
om whathappened.

JR:bozzaut
hendikubekestr
aightkwi
B&B
(bosssai
dIshoul
dt akeyoustr
aightt
otheB&B.
)
Me:
no.Takemet
ohi
m,pl
ease.*
sni
ff
s*

Het
urnedt
hecarar
oundandspedof
ftowher
e
weleftXavier.Icouldseef r
om afarhewasnot
good.Anotherguyofhi screwwasexami ning
hi
ml ikeadoct or
.Oncet hecarstopped,Igot
outquickl
yr antohim.Ididn'tcar
eaboutt he
guyexamininghim.Ij usthuggedhim cr
y i
nghe
huggedmebackev enwhenhewasi npain, I
sti
ll
lovehishugs, becausehenev ergi
vest hem
alot.

Xav
ier
:It
oldJRt
otakey
ouhome.
Me:
Iwantt
ogohomewi
thy
ou.
Xavi
er:
Lona,
pleasest
opbei
ngst
ubbor
n.I
tis
notsaf
e.
Me:Idon'
tcar
e.You'
rehur
t,Idon'
twantt
o
l
eav
ey ou.
Xavi
er:Kennygotaway,
hecouldbeany
where
nearEastLondonandhewi
llcomeforyou.
Me:
whi
chi
swhyIneedt
obecl
osert
oyou.
Hetouchedmycheekwher eIhadaredi
sh
brui
sefrom t
heslap.Hel
ookedatJR,butI
answeredthequesti
onhewantedt
oask

Me:
theyar
edead.*
sni
ff
s*

Isawpeopledier
ighti
nfr
ontofmyey
es.Wi
l
lI
evergetov
erthat
?

OUTFI
TSTHEYWORE
[
02/
17,
16:
44]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT20
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwasst i
llworri
edaboutXav ier.Hiswhi teGucci
hoodi ewascov eredinbl ood.Andhehad
bruisesonhi sal loverhisf ace.Hi slefteyewas
abitswol l
en.Andhehadabl ackey eoni t.He
l
ookedangr yspeedi ngt hecarof ftoKi ng
Will
iamsTown.Idi dn'twantt otellhimt osl ow
downbecauseIwoul d'vemadet hesituation
wor se.Whenwear riv
edatt heB&B.Webot h
gotoft hecari nt hesamet ime.Idi dn'teven
wanthi mt ousehi sener gyopeni ngt hedoorf or
mebecauseIknewhewasi npai n.Hewas
reall
ybadl ybeat enup.Ihel dhi shandandwe
walkedt ohi sroom.Whenheopenedt hedoor ,I
gott heshockofmyl if
e.Ther ewer eredr ose
petalsev erywher einther oom.I twasal sol i
tup
withcandl esthatwer eal mostgoi ngt obe
fi
nished.Thebedhadr osepet al
st hatspel t"be
mine? ".Ismiledcov eringmymout h,andgoti n
ther oom smi l
ing.
Me:
Xav
ier
,whati
sgoi
ngon?
Xav
ier
:Iwaspl
anni
ngonsur
pri
singy
ou.
Me:wow,
thi
sis.Thi
sisbeaut
if
ul.Thanky
ouso
much.

Ihuggedhim butl
aterregret
teditwhenhe
wincedinpai
n.Iavoidedanswer i
ngthe
questi
onbecausedoIr eall
ywantt odateXavier
?
Hecomeswi thalotofbaggageandpr oblems.
TodayIwasal mostkidnappedandr aped.DoI
wanttoliv
emyl i
feinfearalltheti
me?

Xav
ier
:youhav
en'
tanswer
edt
hequest
ion.
Me:Xavi
er.Wecan'
tdat
e.Mybr
other
swi
l
lget
ver
yangry
.
Xavi
er:
soally
ourli
fey
ouar
egoi
ngt
oli
ve
behi
ndyourbr
other
s?
Me:
theywi
l
lgocr
azyanddosomet
hingst
upi
d.
Xav
ier
:Iam notscar
edofMul
l
erandKi
ng.
Me:
Iam.Icannotdi
sappoi
ntt
hem.Theywant
metof
ini
shschool
.
Xavi
er:
whosai
dyouwon'
tfi
nishschool
when
you'
rewit
hme?
Me: Xavi
er.
..whathappenedtodayshowedme
thatyouli
veav er
ydangerousli
fe.Icannot
survi
vetha-
Xavi
er:l
ook,
Iam ti
redofhidi
ngmyfeel
ingsf
or
you.Iwantyouandclear
lyyouwantme,so
whydowehav etodragit
?
Me:
doy
ouhav
etober
udeabouti
t?
Xavier:Lelona.IknowIam notper fect,but
havingy oubymysi dei
stheonlyper fectthing
thatwoul dcompl etemyli
fe.IknowIcomewi t
h
alotofdi sadvantagesbutbaby,Ipromi sey ou.
Iwillneverinvolv
ey oui
nmybusi nessest hat
aredanger ous.
Me:
Idon'
twantt
orui
nourf
ri
endshi
p.
Xavier:weareshar
ingt
hesamebed.Cuddli
ng
togetherandweholdhandsi
npubl
ic.Lel
ona,
i
t'sclearwehavesomethi
ngmoret
han
fri
endship.
Me:theyarealr
eadycal
l
ingmey
ourweakness.
Iam notsafe
Xavi
er:youar
e,becausewhatIfeelfory
ouIcan
notevenexpl
aini
t.ButIwi
llmakesur et
okeep
yousafeatal
lti
mesev eni
fIdiedoingthat
.
Nowst opbei
ngscaredandbemi ne?

Il
ookeddown, andlookedi nt
ohisey es.Idon'
t
knowwhathappenedbutIt houghtalltheti
mes
wehav eev erseeneachot her.From the
ki
tchenatmybr ot
her'
shousepar tytotoday.I
tr
ustXav ierwithmyl i
fe,andIwoul dbelyi
ngifI
saidthesef eeli
ngswillgoaway .Hel i
vesin
CapeTownf orcry
ingsake!Wewi llseeeach
otheroften.Andhei sint hesamegangwi t
hmy
brother
s,wel l
heisaboutt ocontr olmy
brothers.Helookeddi
sappointedthatIwasn'
t
respondingtohim.Ismil
edandnodded, t
henhe
chuckledandt r
iedtohugme, buti
twashar d
forhim becausehewasst i
l
linpain.

Xavier:Ipr
omiseyou,thi
sshitt
hathappened
today.Itwil
lneverhappenagai
n.Iwil
lprot
ect
youf r
om anythi
ng.
Me: don'
tworr
yaboutt
hatnow.Wor
ryabout
yourhealt
h.
Xav
ier
:Your
eal
l
ymeanal
ott
omeLona.
Me:
*smi
l
es*y
oumeanal
ott
omet
oo

Imadehim sitinthebedev enwhent heroses

werether
e.If i
xedt hepill
owsagai nstt
he
dashboar
dandhel pedhimi nsi
dethebed.
ThankGodt herosesdi dn'
tmakehi m
uncomfort
able.Thel i
tt
ledinnerthatwas
organi
sedont hefloorreall
ymademesmi l
e.
Thisissocut
e,andt
hecandl
esmakei
tmor
e
adorabl
e.

Me:
youneedt
osi
tdownandr
est
.
Xav
ier
:gi
vemeaf
ewday
sandIwi
l
lbeokay
.
Me:
youshoul
d'
vewentt
othehospi
tal
.
Xavi
er:t
hesamehospital
thatgav
emeshi
tfor
wanti
ngqui
ckerser
vices.
Me:
Iwi
l
lgety
oupai
nki
l
ler
sandy
oucanr
est
.
Xav
ier
:wai
tfi
rstt
akeoffmyhoodi
e.Ican'
t
movemybodyproper
ly.

Ifrownedandhel phim outofhiscl

othes.He
wasnowshi rt
lessandIsawal otofbrui
ses.I
tr
iedt ouchinghisoneofhi sbr
uiseswhichwas
onhi sleftside.Hetouchedmyhand,and
ki
ssedt hebackofmyf i
ngersbecausewhenhe
pi
ckedmyhandi tf
ormedintoaf i
st.Hedidthi
s
i
nt hemostcutestway,
myheartst
art
ed
beati
ngfastandbutt
erf
li
eswer
egoingcr
azy
.

Xavi
er:
Ipr
omi
seIwil
lbeokay
.Idon'
twanty
ou
toworr
ysomuch.
Me:
maybeyoudoneedtoreturnt
oCapeTown,
t
her
eyouweren'
tget
ti
nghurtli
ket
his.
Xavi
er:
Iam notl
eav
ingy
oubehi
nd.Noti
na
mil
l
ionyear
s.
Me:
youcoul
ddi
eher
e!
Xav
ier
:eksal
niegaanni
e.(
Iwi
l
lnotgo)
Me:
whatwi
l
lyoudot
hen?
Xav
ier
:Iam t
aki
ngy
ouwi
thmet
oCapeTown.
Me:what ?Mybr ot
herswi
llgetv
eryangry
.Ican
nottel
lthem aboutusyet
,wehav ebeendat
ing
forl
i
ke30mi nut
es?Itist
oosoon.
Xavier:
*chuckl
es*cal
m down.Youwi
l
lhav
eto
tel
lthem yougott
ir
edofyourmom.
Me:
won'
tKennyki
l
lthem?
Xavier
:herespect
sthem.Trustme,your
brot
hersarenotweakatall
.Theycanhandl
e
themselv
es.ItisyouIam worr
iedabout
.
Me:
okay
,whendowel
eav
e?

Icouldseeshewasn'
tthatmuchhappywi
thus
l
eaving.

Xavi
er:
final
l
y,y
oul
i
stent
omewi
thoutbei
ng
st
ubborn.
Me:becauseIdonotwantKennyt
osneakan
at
tackony ouagai
n.

Igavehim pai
nkil
l
ersandsomewater
.But
l
ookingathisbrui
sesIwasworr
iedhemight
havebrokenaribwhenhewasbeingatt
acked
byplent
yofmen.
Me:
whowast
heguyexami
ningy
ou?
Xav
ier
:K9.
Me:
isheadoct
or?
Xav
ier
:youcoul
dsayt
hat
.
Me:
it'
sei
thery
esorno.Not"
youcoul
dsayt
hat
.
Xavi
er:
hestudi
edmedici
nebutheishav
inga
di
ff
icul
tti
mewithf
inanci
ali
ssues.
Me:whichroom i
shestay
ingi
n?Ineedt
ocall
hi
mt ocheckyououtagai
n.Whati
fyoubr
okea
ri
b?
Xavi
er:Lona,
pleasesi
tdownIwi
l
lbeokay
.Ar
e
younotheari
ngme?
Me:
justt
obesur
e,pl
ease.
Xav
ier
:checkt
hesecondr
oom ont
her
ight
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lber
ightback,
stayput
.
Hegotout,
struggl
i
ngsohar
d.Ir
ushedt
ohi
m
t
ohelphim getup.

Me:
whyar
eyouget
ti
ngup?
Xav
ier
:Iam goi
ngwi
thy
ou.
Me:no!Youarehur
t.Stopbei
ngmanl
yabouti
t,
pl
ease.Iwi
ll
bebackr i
ghtnow.

Isathim downagai n,
andquickl
ycheckedthe
room hetoldmet ocheck.Iknockedandhe
answeredqui ckl
y,hewasonhisphonetalki
ng
tohisgir
lfr
iendbecauseIheardtheword
"baby.
"

me:
Xav
ierneedshel
p.

Henoddedandqui
cklygoti
nther
oom andtook
t
hisl
it
tl
ebagthatl
ookedli
keadoctor
'sbag.
Thenhewentoutt her oom thenhefol
lowedme
andwebot hwenttother oom meandXav i
er
share.Hewasst i
ll
talkingonhisphonewi l
lhis
gir
lf
riend.Hekeptassur i
nghehewasf i
neand
hewi l
lbebacknextweek.Thati ssocut e,I
wonderi fIwi
ll
belikethatwhenXav i
erleaves
forhistri
ps?

Xavi
er:
K9assur
emywor
ri
edgi
rl
fr
iendt
hatIam
fi
ne.

Ismil
edathim cal
li
ngmehisgir
lf
ri
end.Icoul
d
getusedtothi
s.Hisvoi
cewhenhesaysbaby
andgirl
fr
iendr
eall
ysendmeovertheedge.

K9:*
chuckl
es*she'
sdoi
ngwhatanywor
ri
ed
gi
rl
fr
iendwoul
ddo.

Heopenedt
hebag,Iswi
tchedont
hel
i
ght
aand
exami
nedhim again.Hecheckedt
oseeifhe
hadanybrokenri
bsbyt ouchi
nghi
sbody
.I
tur
nedoffal
lthecandles.

K9:l
uckymotherf
ucker
.Nobr okenr
ibs.Just
bodybrui
sesandfacebrui
ses.
Xav
ier
:pai
nful
brui
ses.

Hewasaboutt
ogi
vehi
m somepai
nki
l
ler
s.

Me:
Ial
readygav
ehi
m somepai
nki
l
ler
s.
K9:
thenIam doneher
e.
Me:
Iam t
aki
nghi
mtoadoct
ort
omor
row.
K9:
*chuckl
es*t
ryt
oconv
incehi
m.
Me:ohsorr
y,Iam notsayingyouareabad
doct
ororanyt
hing.I-.
..Iam sor
ry.*
sighs*
Hejustl
ookedatmewi thnosmi
lesoranyt
hing
Iwasscared.Idi
dn'
tmeantooff
endhim,but
Xavi
erneedspropercar
e.

K9:
kumoj
a(i
t'
sokay
)
Xav
ier
:st
opst
ressi
ngmygi
rl
.
K9:
Isai
dit
'sf
ine.*
chuckl
es*

Hesmi l
edatmeandpi ckeduphi
sbagandI
walkedhim out
.IlookedatXavi
erwhowas
becomingsleepy.

Me:wear
egoi
ngt
oadoct
or.Youneedt
osee
one.
Xav
ier
:K9i
sone.
Me:
don'tmakemef
eel
badbecauseIal
ready
f
eelbad.
Xav
ier
:hedi
dn'
ttakei
ttot
hehear
t.
me:
buty
oust
il
lneedt
ogot
oadoct
or.
Xav
ier
:comet
othebedLona,
iti
slat
e.

Ifi
xedhispil
l
owsandmadehi m sl
eepproper
ly.
Ichangedint
omyshor t
sandbaggytop
pyj
amas.Luckil
yhedidn'
tseeme.ThenIgot
i
nsidethebed,Il
ookedatther
emaini
ngroses
j
ustsmi l
i
ngatthem.

Me:
whataboutt
hel
i
ttl
edi
nnersetont
hef
loor
?
Xav
ier
:don'
twor
ryaboutt
hat
.
Me:
okay
.

Hepulledmeclosert
ohim andIlaidonhis
shi
rtl
esschest
.IswearIcouldhearhis
heart
beat.Ibl
ushedbecauseinawei r
dway
thi
swassor omanti
c.Iheardhi
slightsnor
es
andIknewhewassl eepi
ng.Iwrappedmyey es
aroundhiswaistbutnoti napai nf
ulway.Aft
er
alongti
me,ofmej uststari
ngathistatt
oosand
brui
ses,Iev
ent ual
lyfell
asleep.Iwokeupt o
thi
ngsshuffl
ing,Igroanedwaki ngup.Xavier
wasupandl ookingf orsomething.

Xav
ier
:damn,
Iwokey
ouup?
Me:
yes.I
t'
sokay
.Whatar
eyoul
ooki
ngf
or?
Xav
ier
:pai
nki
l
ler
s.Mybodyhur
tsl
i
kekak(
shi
t)
Me:theyar
eonmysi
dedr
awer
.Don'
ttakeal
ot
okay
?
Xav
ier
:okay
.

Itr
iedgoingbacktosleepbutitwasusel
ess
becausemysl eepdidnotevencomeback, soI
wokeupt ogobr ushmyteeth.Aft
erIwasdone,
Iwashedmyf ace.WhenIr et
urnedtohi
m, he
wassi t
ti
ngont heedgeofthebed.Helookedat
me, andmoti
onedf ormetocomet ohim.
Xav
ier
:comeher
e.

Iwal
kedtohi
m conf
used.Hesatmeonhi
slap.
Thi
sdudeishur
tandhewantsmeonhi
slap.

Me:Xav
iery
ouar
ehur
t.Ishoul
dn'
tbesi
tt
ingon
yo-

Hecutmeof fwithaki ss.Likeaf ullblownki ss.

Iwasshockedhel ickedmyl i
psforent r ance
andIgavei nandt hekisswasamazi ng!Ev en
theli
tt
lebrusheshedi donmywai stsentmet o
heaven!Guy sInev erhadaki ssliket his.Itwas
sopassionateandsexyatt hesamet ime.Hi s
handtravel
ledinsi
demyt opandst i
llbrushed
mywai st
.Hi shandswer emaki ngmef eelaway
IknowIhav en'tf
eltinallmyy ear
sofl i
v i
ng.I
brokethekissoffbecauseIdi dn'
twantt omov e
toofastwi
thhim.Hepeckedmyl i
ps,and
suckedmybot t
om li
pthenhepul
ledit.He
peckedmylipsrepeat
edly
.Ist
art
edgiggli
ng.
Andhechuckledlooki
ngatmyey es
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Ihavealway swant edt okissher,anditwast he
bestforherbei ngpure.Ichuckledatherbei ng
hornybecauseherey esbecamesosmal l.Il
et
herbreakt hekissofff orbecauseIknowshe
doesn'twantt omov et oofast.She'ssti
l
lan
unexperienced18y earol d.Herbeingbulli
edin
herhighschool l
i
fe,IknowIwi l
lhaveahar d
ti
mewi t
hher .ButIthinkshei sworththe
chall
enge.
Me:
youshoul
dst
artpacki
ng.
Lona:
why
?
Me:
wear
egoi
ngbackt
oCapeTownr
emember
.
Lona:Xavi
erIcannotjustleave.Mul
lerwil
lfl
i
p
becauseIhaven'
teventoldthem Iam st
aying
wit
hy ou.
Me:Lonawetal
kedaboutthi
s,youwill
tel
lthem
t
hatyoudonotwanttostaywit
hy ourmom and
youhat
ethi
splace.
Lona:
what
?
Me:
iti
sthet
rut
h.
Xavi
er:
yesbutwhati
fmom t
ell
sthem t
hatI
wentwit
hyou?
Me:
trustme,
shewon'
t.
Lona:whatifKennyhur
tsmom andt
heot
her
s?
Icannotjustl
eave.
Me:Lel
onaIam notl
eav
ingy
ouher
e.I
t'
snot
saf
e.
Lona:*
sighs*arey
ounothear
ingme?Hecoul
d
hurtmyfamily
.
Me:
Idonotcar
eaboutthat
,yourl
i
fei
s
i
mport
antt
omemor ethanthem.
Lona:
wel
lIcar
eaboutt
hem.
Me:
why
?Theyt
reaty
oul
i
keshi
t.
Lona:t
hatdoesn'
tmeanIshoul
dtr
eatt
hem l
i
ke
shi
t.
Me:
Lel
ona,
li
stent
omef
oronce!*
shout
s*

Shegotquietandlookedatmewithfeari
nher
eyes.Iregr
ett
edshouti
ngatherbecauseIdo
notwantherfear
ingme.Shestoodupf r
om my
l
ap, andIsi
ghed.

Me:Icannotjustl
eaveyouindanger.Youare
comingwit
hme.Iam sur eKennywilldo
not
hingtoyourfamil
yherespect
sy ourbrot
her
s.
heismessi
ngwit
hyoubecauseheknowshowI
feel
abouty
ou.

Ist
oodupeveninpain,
andsl
owlyki
ssedher
.
Shesmil
edintheki
ssandIknewshewas
goi
ngtosayyes.

Me:
Ionl
ywantt
opr
otecty
ou.
Lona:
fine.Letmepack.

Shechuckl
ed.Ismil
edathergi
vingi
ntomy
char
ms.Iwentovert
omybag, andshest
opped
me.

Lona:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
try
ingt
opack.
Lona:Iwi
ll
,donotdot
hat
.Youar
einj
ured.Si
t
onthebed.
Me:
youar
eexagger
ati
ngmyi
njur
ies.
Lona:
justsi
tont
hebedandhush.

Ismiledandsl
owlysatdownwhileIwasinpain.
Shepackedmyt hi
ngsthenpackedher
s.Itwas
taki
ngal ongt
ime,andIwasgetti
ngsl
eepy.The
medicinewasworking.

Lona:
Iwi
l
lbookal
atef
li
ght
.Youneedt
osl
eep.
Me:no.Weneedtogonow.Thequi
ckerwear
e
outofher
ethesaf
ery
ouwil
lbe.
Lona:
andy
ou.Yoursaf
etyi
simpor
tantt
oo.
me:
yeah.

Shet
ookherphoneandst
art
edbooki
ngf
li
ght
s.

Me:
Iwi
l
lpay
.
Lona:
youwi
l
lrest
.Nowdot
hat
.
Me:
lel
ona.
Lona:
mhm.
..
Me:usemyphonet obookfli
ghtsandputi
nmy
bankaccountdet
ail
s.Iwi
l
ltell
youwhatthey
are.
Lona:
Ihav
ealr
eadybookedy
our
sandIhav
e
pai
dnowIwil
lbookmine.

Iglar
esatherangr ythatshewoul dpaybutI
tol
dherIwoul dpay .Ihav ethemostst ubborn
gir
lfr
iendever
.Shenev erlist
enst omeatal l
,
that'
swhatIli
keaboutherbecauseshe
chall
engesme.ButIal sohat eitwhenitputs
herli
feindanger.Likey esterdayItoldhernotto
getoutofthecar ,butshedi d.Thatalmosthad
herkidnappedandr apedbutassoonasIf ind
whereKennyi s.Iam kill
inghi m,Idonotcare
aboutanywar .Het ouchedLonat wicesohe
di
ggedhi
sowngr
ave.AndIwi
l
lhel
phi
m get
i
ntoi
t.

Me:
that
'snothowi
tissupposedt
ogo.
Lona:
look,Il
ikepay
ingforstuf
fandyoual
way
s
buymest uf
fsoIwillbuyst
ufffory
ounow.
Me:
thati
snev
ergoi
ngt
ohappen.
Lona:
stopf
ussi
ngov
erpet
tyt
hingsandsl
eep.

Ichuckl
edatherbei
ngbossy.Af
terafew
minutesshewassti
l
lpacki
ngandIslept
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwat
chedhi
m sl
eepagai
n.ThankGodbecause
het alksandIcan' tconcent rateont hepacki ngI
am doi ng.Af terIwasf inall
ydonewi thmy
packi ng.If oundmydi ary,wel li
tdidn'tf eel l
i
ke
adi ar yany mor ebecausemymom hasr ead
ever ything.Iwant edt obur nitandf orgetabout
thet hingsIwr oteint here.Itsurpri
sesmehow
shewoul dr eadal lthehur tIwr oteint her ebut
shewoul dnotr eplytot hatbyhuggi ngmeand
tell
i
ngmeev ery t
hingwi llbeokay ,sheonl y
repliedt ot he" Xav i
er'ssmi le"confessi on, and
sher eactedwi thawhoopi ngofmyl ife.Whata
disast ermyl ifeact uall
yis.AndIcannotbel i
eve
Iam say ingt hisbutXav ierandmybr ot hersar e
theonl yonest hatmakesmyl i
febetter .
Gangst ersmakemyl if
ebet ter!Heeei f
someonet oldmeIwoul dbedat i
ngagangst er
atonl y18Iwoul dscr eam say ingthey '
rel ying.I
alway stoldmy sel
fIwi llnev erdateagangst er
becauset heycomewi thtrouble.Mybr other s
dohei stssot heyhav eal essdanger ousl ife
theironl yobst acleisbei ngcaughtandgoi ngt o
j
ail.Gangstersli
keXav ierhaveenemieswho
wanty outof eelpai
n.Theynev erfi
ndt r
uelove
becauseev eryonearoundt hem iski
ll
ed.DoI
reall
ywantt hatformy selfat18?ImeanIwas
almostkidnappedy esterday!Hewasbr utal
ly
attackedifi
twer en'
tforJRandShoot er
.I
woul dprobablyhavedi edbecauseofKenny .
~~
Wef i
nall
yarri
vel at
eatni ghtintheair
port.The
rent
alcarsweret aken,andwewer ewai ti
ngfor
ourfl
ight.Ikeptplayingwi t
hXav i
er'
srough
handsashet alkedtohi screw.Iknewt heir
namesnow, i
twasJR, Shooter,
K9andWi z.My
phonerangandXav ierlookedatme.Ilookedat
thecall
edID.Itwasmyaunt .

Me:
Ihav
etot
aket
his.

Iwal
kedabi
tfur
therawayf
rom t
hem.
Me:
dabawo.(
Aunt
ie)
Dabs:
uphi
?(Wher
ear
eyou?)
Me:ndi
buyel
aeKapa(
Iam r
etur
ningbackt
o
CapeTown)
Dabs:
he!
?Ngexay
endoda?(
What
!?Becauseof
aman?)
Me:
dabaw-
Dabs:buy
elakul
endluwenandi
ngekaxelel
i
uKhazi
mlanoYangangalamanyal
auwenzay o.
(Comebacktothi
shousebeforeIt
ellKhaziml
a
andYangaaboutthedi
sgracey
ouaredoi ng)
[
02/
17,
16:
44]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT21
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Myhear tst
aredbeati
ngfast
,shesoundedso
angryandIknewshewoul ddoit.ButifIstay
here,Xavi
erisnotgoi
ngtobehappy .Hellhe
won'tevenagreeformetostay.Kennycouldbe
roamingaroundKingWil
li
amsTownr i
ghtnow,
andIam surehei sl
ooki
ngforme.

Me:
dabawoandi
zokwazi
.(aunt
ieIcannot
)
Dabs:uhlal
isananomf anakungaphumanga
neCentforwena.I nobasowut y
iwenotyiwa.
KodwaLel onaawuzi t
handi
.Inobawaziyela
nakul
amant ombazanaphaeskol wenisakho
njembawaxokakut hiwat
hibafunaukudlengul
a.
(You'
restayingwit
haboyt hatdidn'
tevenpaya
centforyou.Maybeheev enhadsexwi t
hy ou.
Lelona,
youdonotl
oveyoursel
f.Maybeyou
evenwenttothegi
rl
satyourschool
byy our
sel
f
thenli
edtousandsaidt
heywantedtorapeyou)
Me: *
sil
entl
ycryi
ng*dabawo.Ndicel
a
ungandenziLent
o.Uyayazi
ibuhl
ungu
kangakananil
amekokum.( Aunti
e.Pleasedo
notdothistome.Youknowhowpai nf ult
hat
subj
ectistome.)
Auntie:i
ntoendiyi
thethayondithibuyaqha.
Utatawakhoune' worryapha.Hambauzonat ya
kulamadodaf oruhlalakwiB&B.(AllIam sayi
ng
i
scomeback.Yourf atherisworr
iedhere.You
goar oundopeningy ourlegsforment ostayin
B&Bs)

Iwassoof fendedIev enhadhiccupswhi

le
cry
ing.Idonotev enknowwhyIanswer edher
cal
l.Sheismymot her'
sbestfri
endandmy
dad'ssi
sterwhatdidIexpect!?Theyal
lhateme
l
ikeIdidsomet hi
ngt othem.IwouldsayIam a
bast ardchil
dandIremindthem ofmyf at
her's
mi stress,butIl
ooksomuchl ikemymot herit
i
sl ikeIam heryoungerver
sion.Especiall
yin
pictures.IknowIam herdaughtershecannot
denyme, thenwhyisshetreati
ngmel i
ket his?I
felthandsonmyshoul der,whenIturned
around.Xav i
erl
ookedatme, hewasconf used
ast owhyIwascr y
ing.

Xav
ier
:what
'swr
ong?
Dabs: uxelelelotsotsiwakhoangaboy i
kisa
bonkenotmna.Makay ekwi ntangazakhe.
Inobazimxaki ley i
lontoesizakwabant uabal ul
a
njengawe.Uy ayazi baangathi umhleand
akubizebabywenasowut hat hekaumthande.
Umuncu, ntombi yam ( Tellthatthugofy ours
theymayal lfearhim butIdonot .Heshoul dgo
tothepeopl ei nhisagegr oup.May betheyar e
toomuchf orhi m andt hatiswhyhewentf or
easypeopl el i
key ou.Heknowshecancal lyou
beaut
if
ulandbaby
,andalreadyy
ouar
einl
ove.
You'
redumb,myniece.)
Xav
ier
:gi
vemet
hatphone.*
angr
y*

Ij
ustgav eittohim.Hewassoangr yandhe
doesn'tev enknowwhyam Icr y
ing.Heputt he
phonei nhi sear,andIlookeddown.Myhead
wassodown, tearsfellonthefloor.That'
show
hardIwascr ying.Theydonotr ealisethem
tr
yingtomakemest rongonlybr eaksmemor e
andmor e.Iam notbei ngbull
iedbymyschool
mat esorKay laany mor e.NowIam bei ng
bull
iedbymyownauntandmot her.

Xavier
:doIneedt ocomeov erther
esowecan
havethatt al
kagain?..
.ohyou'
reheraunt
?
*chucklesangr i
l
y*Iknowhermom t oldyouwe
hadat alk.Giveherthephone.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-

Iwantedtocur sethemothersobad,butIwas
shockedthatitwast heaunt.Whatt
hefucki
s
upwiththi
sf amilyandhurti
ngLona?

Me:
onet
hingIdonotdoi
srepeatmy
sel
f.
Her:mxm inobauci ngaunguChuckNor ri
swena.
Baninziabantuendibazi
yonam abanokususa
kulomhlabangemi ninj
e!(Youthinkyou'r
e
ChuckNor ri
s.Thereareal otofpeopl
eIknow
thatcaneraseyouf rom t
hisworldinjustaf
ew
days!)

Shewasn'tsay
ingall
oft hatwhenIwasthere.
Sheranoutwhenshesawt hegun.Shewas
makingmeangr i
erbythemoment .Idropped
thecal
landgaveLonat hephone.Iam i
nso
muchpai
n,deal
ingwit
hthi
sri
ghtnowwill
onl
y
makemereactbadl
ytowar
dsever
ythi
ng.

Me:
cal
lyourmot
her
.
Lona:
what
?
Me:
justdoi
t,Lel
ona.Noquest
ionsasked!

Shedialedonherphone.Shewasshaking,
whateverherauntsaidr
eal
lymadeherupset.
Aft
erdiall
ingshegavemet hephone.Hermom
answeredafteralongti
me.

Lona'
smom:
yint
oni
Lel
ona?(
Whati
sit
,Lel
ona?
)
Me:fixyourbit
chasssi
steri
nlaworIwi
l
lfi
x
herforyou.YouknowIdonotmakeempty
promises.
Lona'
smom: a-a..
.kodwaandi
kwaziuphat
ha
i
zint
oazenzayo.Ungumfazi
omdala.Akasoze
andi
mamele(i
-i
..
.butIcannotcont
rolwhatshe
does.Shei
sagrownwoman.Shewi ll
notli
sten
tome.)
Me: heyhey !Idonotgiveonesi
ngl
efuck.
Makeapl an.Whatevershehasi
nherchicken
head, Iwil
lremoveinthemostunpl
easantway .
Moeni espeel metmynieekisnie'
nspelnie.
(Don'tplaywithmeIam notagame)
Lona'
smom:
he?(
What
?)

Idr oppedt hecallonherdumbass.Isweari f

thosebi tchesjeopar dizemyr elat
ionshipwith
Lona, theywi l
lpay .Ithasbeenal ongt imesince
Ikilledsomeonepr obablylike1or2weeks.And
myegoi scravingf orsomeone' smiserable
criesf orhelp.Lonawasst i
lll
ookingdown, I
pickedherheadup, andhuggedher .Thatonl y
madehercr ywor se.Itconf usedme, hugsare
supposedt ohel pbuti tlookslikemi ne
tri
gger edhermor e.Iev enthoughtmybl ack
pl
aint
-shi
rtwasgoingtobesoakedi
nhert
ear
s
butev
entual
lyshestopped.

Lona:
Iam sosor
ry.
Me:iti
sokay
.YouknowIwi
l
lal
way
sbeher
efor
you.
Lona:maybeIshoul
dreal
lygoback.She-she
wil
lte-
tel
lmybro-br
other
s..
.

Shewashav i
ngthesehi ccupsshewas
st
ruggli
ngt ospeak.Ihat edseeingherlikethi
s.
Herfacewassor ed,Iwant edtof or
getabout
myinjur
ies,gobackt oKi ngWil
liamsTownand
ki
llt
hatbitchformaki ngmywi fef eell
i
ket hi
s.

Me:youar
enotgoi
ngbackt
her
e.Yourmom
wi
ll
sorti
tout
.
Lona:
butsheal
soha-hat
esme.
Shecriedhuggingmeagai n.Il
ookedatt he
gentswhower elookingatmeinsmi rks.They
weresurpri
sedIact ual
lyhavef
eeli
ngsf ora
cry
baby .Tr
ustme, Iam al
sosurpr
isedIam not
annoyedyet.Ibrushedherback,andwhi sper
ed
i
nherear

Me:babydon'
tletthem gety
oudownl
i
ket
his.I
pr
omiseevery
thingwil
lbeokay.
Lona:
Iknowher
,shewi
l
ltel
lthem.
Me:
fine,
Iwi
l
ltel
lthem my
sel
fifIhav
etoo!
Lona:
no!That
'saev
enbi
ggerdi
sast
er.
Me: Iam tr
yingever
ythi
ngt omakeyoust
op
cr
yingmyl ief(l
ove)butitseemsli
kei
t'
snot
working.TellmewhatIshoul ddo,
andIwil
ldo
i
t.Pl easej
uststopcryi
ng.
Iwi
pedhert ear
sawayfr
ust
ratedt
hatsheissti
ll
cr
ying.Shesnif
fedandr
emainedwi
thhiccups.

Lona:
Iam donenow.Ij
ustnee-needanap.

Likeclockwi seourdest i
nat i
onwascal ledandI
heldherhandandwal kedt otheboar ding
planes.Af tereverything,wewer efi
nallyinthe
planes.Shel ookedoutt hewi ndowal lsadandI
didnotl i
kei tonebi t.Shewassosad, Icoul
d
feeliteveni nmy self
.Iwi shshecoul dseehow
wonder fulshei sinmyey es,may bethenshe
willstopli
steningt oot herpeopl e'
sopinionsof
her.Iheldherhandandki ssedit,shesmi l
ed
painfull
yandl aidherheadonmyshoul der.

Me:
Idon'
tl
ikeseei
ngy
oul
i
ket
his.
Lona:
Iam sor
ry.
Me:
sheshoul
dbesor
ry,
noty
ou.Whatdi
dshe
sayany
way
?
Lona:
Idonotwantt
otal
kabouti
tpl
ease.
Me:i
tisokay
.Youshoul
dtakey
ournap.You
mi
ghtwakeuprefr
eshed.

Shenodded,aft
ershepeckedmyl i
psshetried
tosl
eep.Wizlookedatmeandmout hedifshe
i
sokay.Inodded.ButIwantherauntdead,Ido
notcar
ehow.ButIdowanti ttohappen.
~~
Wear ri
vedinCapeTownandIt oldLonashe
willstaywithmeunti
lherbrothersknowsheis
i
nCapeTown.Whenwewenti nsidemyhouse,
shewasl ooki
ngatever
ythi
ngi nawe.My
i
nter i
ordesignwasmostlyblackandwhit
e.
Blackwasmyf avour
it
ecolor.

Lona:
wow,
youl
i
vei
nthi
sbi
ghouseal
one?
Me:
noonet
oshar
eitwi
th.
Lona:
yeahr
ight
.
Me:
*chuckl
es*whyar
eyousosur
eIhav
ehoes?
Lona:
it'
sthewomani
nst
incti
nme.

Ichuckledandj ustwalkedt omybedroom.The

housewascl eanbecausemymai dcleansit
every4day saweek.Myr oom hadahuge
closetandIwi shthatnoneofmyhoesl eft
anythingthatwillmakeLonaangr y.Iwil
lhave
todropall t
hehoesIhad, damn.ButIguessmy
babyiswor ththesacrifi
ce.

Lona:
Xav
ier
...
?

Il
ookedatherf
rom t
hedooroft
hecl
oset
.She
washoldi
ngag-st
ri
ng.
Lona:
so,
let
'st
alkaboutt
hehoes.
Me:
*si
ghs*t
heyar
eal
lgoi
ngt
obegone.
Lona:Iam notmadbecausei twasbef orewe
dated,sonowwear edating.Iwouldloveali
tt
le
bitofrespect
.Di
rt
ylinger
ieisnotwhatIl i
ke
seeinginmyhubby'sdrawer* chuckl
es*
Me:
youwon'
tseei
tagai
nbabe.
Lona:
Iam seri
ous,onewr
onghoemov
eand
wearedone,Xavi
er.

Shewasn'tsmil
ingatal lany more.Inodded
becauseIreal
l
yangoi ngt odropmyhoesf or
her,
butalsoneedst oknowIam aman, Ihave
needs.ButIwon'ttellherthatrightnow
becauseshewillf
eel pressuredt ohav esex
wit
hme, andIdon'twantt opressur eher
becauseImightendupl osingher .Idon'
teven
knowwhoputt hatdirtylingeri
ether e.
Me:baby
,tr
ustme.Theyar
egone,
youar
ethe
onl
yonenow.
Lona:
mhm.

Iwalkedcl
osertoherandki
ssedhercheek.I
tooktheg-st
ri
ngfr
om herandthr
ewinthebin
thatwasinthebat
hroom.WhenIwentbackto
theroom,shewassi t
ti
ngonthebedand
l
ookingint
oherhands.

Me:
fede?(
Shar
p?)
Lona:
ndi
moj
ant
wana.(
Iam okay
,dude.
)

Ilookedatherconf usedasfuck.Ili
kehow
diff
erentshei sfr
om thegir
lsthatareal
ways
readyt ojumponmydi ck.Shelaughedatmy
facialexpressi
on.
Me:It
hinkIl
ikeyoubei
ngal
lpr
incessl
i
keand
bei
ngacrybaby.
Lona:
ofcour
sey
oudo*
rol
l
sey
esl
aughi
ng*
Me:
any t
hingy
ouwantt
odobef
orewehadof
f
t
osleep?
Lona:
yousl
eepal
ot.
Me:medici
nemakesmesl
eep.Youar
en'
t
hungr
y?
Lona:
no.Iwi
l
ljustwat
chTV.

Idrankthepainkil
lersandwentdownst ai
rsto
ordersomepi zzafrom t het elevi
sionIhadin
thelounge,Iaskedt hem f orsomev eganpizza
shit
,standardsizeforhert henIbr oughtmy sel
f
l
argebuti didn'
tbuyt hatv eganshi t.Ibrought
thetri
pledeckerwi thext r
acheese.Iwentback
upstai
rs.Shewaswat chingBadGi rl
sClubon
VuzuAmp, shewassoi ntri
guedbyt heshow, I
couldseeitinherf acialex pressi
ons.
Me:
gotpi
zzasf
orus.
Lona:
pizza?Ican'
teatpi
zza.
Me:donotworry,
Iaskedt
heworkeri
fther
e
wereveganpi
zzasandhesai
dyes.Soyoucan
eatpi
zzas.
Lona:
*laughs*whati
fIdonotwantpi
zza?
Me: t
henIwil
lfor
ceful
l
yshov
ethepi
zzadown
yourthr
oat
.*chuckl
es*
Lona:somuchanger
.*l
aughs*y
oushoul
dbe
onthebadgir
lscl
ub.
Me:
hel
lno.

Shechuckled,Iwentt ochangeintosome
basketball
shortssoIcansl eep.Iwasshirt
less
andIwenti nsi
det hebed.Shelookedatme,
morel i
kestareatme.Igr i
nnedatheral ways
i
nterestedinmyt att
oos.Imov edclosertoher
Me:
yourshowi
sbackon.*
smi
rks*
Lona:
mxm.

Shelai
donherstomachandshewasnextt
o
me.Shetouchedmyneck,morel
i
kebrushi
t
sof
tl
ylooki
ngatmyrosetatt
ooonmyneck.

Lona:
didn'
tthi
shur
t?
Me:
ali
tt
lebi
t.
Lona:
li
ar!I
tdi
dal
ot.*
smi
l
es*
Me:Iwashighandver
ydr
unkt
hatday
.Soi
t
di
dn'
thurtt
hatmuch.
Lona:
whyar
oseony
ourAdam'
sappl
e?
Me:
*shr
ugs*j
ustt
ofi
l
lupt
hespace.
Lona:you'
recr
azy
.Doyouknowhowpainful
tat
toosare?Andyoudi
dthi
sonej
ustt
of i
l
l up
t
hespace?Wow*
laughs*
Me:
Itol
dyoui
twasn'
tthatpai
nful
.

Ihear dthehousephoner ingi ndicating

someonewant edt obel etint hey ard.I
tmust
bethepi zza,Iwentdownst airswi thmywal let.I
l
etthescoot erdr iveri
nt hey ar dwi t
ht hepizzas.
WhenIopenedt hedoor ,thedudewassmi ling
atme.Ij usttookoutt hemoney ,gaveittohi m
andt ookthepi zzas.Henot i
cedIwasn' tt
he
smilingtype,andj ustleft.Iclosedmydoor ,and
walkedupst air
swi ththepi zzas.Mywi fewas
sti
l
l caughtupont hetelev i
sionshow.Igav eher,
herpi zzaandpl acedmi neont hebed.Iwas
aboutt owalkbackdownst airsbutIwast i
red
asfuckf rom thei njur
ies.

Lona:
sitdown.Iwi
l
lgett
hedr
inksmy
sel
f.
Me:
Iam f
in-
Lona:Xav
ier
,donotmakemedragyoutot
his
bed.Nowsitdown,
Iwi
ll
beri
ghtback.

Shequi ckl
ywentdownst ai
r sandIsatdownin
pain.Iwasev ensweati
ng, Iwipedmysweat
anddr anksomepai nki
l
lersagain.Aft
erthat
,I
ateaf ewslices,
thenshefinall
ycameback.

Lona:
sor
ry,
Icoul
dn'
tfi
ndcups*
laughs*

Shegav emeacupf ullofcoke,Iplaceditonmy

si
deboar d.Ifeltherlookingatme, andIknew
whybutIj ustwant edtomesswi thher.She
cl
earedhert hroatbecauseIdi dn'
tlookather.I
fi
nal
lylookedatherl ickingmyl i
ps, wi
tha
char
mingsmi l
e.

Lona:
youar
efor
get
ti
ngsomet
hing.
Me:
aki
ss?*
smi
rks*

Imademyf acei
ntoaki
ssi
ngface,
shelaughed
sohardIt
houghtshewasgoi
ngtofal
lonthe
fl
oor
.

Lona:
youl
ooksocut
e.
Me:
Inev
erbeenugl
y.*
chuckl
es*
Lona:
sococky*shakesheadsmil
i
ng*Iwas
goi
ngtosayyouareforgett
osaythanky
ou.
Me:
thanky
ou,
baby
.

Ismi l
ed,andshel eanedclosertomeaqui ck
kiss.Icouldsti
ll
getusedt oherli
psbeingso
soft.Shesmiled,andst art
edeati
ngherf ood.I
admi r
edherwhensheat eherfood.Shehad
thiscutefaci
alexpr essiononher.
Lona:pl
easest
opst
ari
ngIam t
ryi
ngt
oeat
.
*bl
ushes*
Me:
can'
tIadmi
rewhati
smi
ne?
Lona:
stop.*
blushes*
Me:
comeher
e.*
li
cksl
i
ps*

Shebl ushedandIdeci dedtoleani nandkissed

herslowly .Shesmiledintothekiss,shebroke
thekissof fbypulli
ngmybot t
om lip.That
surpr
isedt hefuckoutofme, Iheldhernecknot
wantingt hekisstoend.Shegi ggledand
conti
nuedwi ththekiss.Damn, whatisthi
sgirl
doingt ome?
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
aft
ertheki
ss,hestaredatme.Likestar
eatme
fr
om myhairtomyl ipsagain.Ibl
ushed
becauseIcoul
dnev ergetti
redathowhelooks
atme.Thenhiseyesl ookedupandhelooked
i
ntomyey es.

Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*y
ourey
esar
esmal
l
.
Me:
what
'
swr
ongwi
tht
hem bei
ngsmal
l
?
Xav
ier
:*smi
l
es*y
ouwi
l
lunder
standl
ater
.

Irol
l
edmyey essmi l
ing,andcont
inuedeati
ng.
Thewayheki ssesmeal waysmakesmy
panti
eswet.ShouldIbef eel
i
ngli
kethi
s?We
j
uststar
teddatinganditgetssohardtoresi
st
hi
m.
~~
Iwokeupt
othebedempt
y,If
rownedand
l
ookedar ound.WhenIgotoutoft hebed, I
shookmyheadbecauseIsl epti nmycl othesI
blameXav i
erbecausewewer et alki
ngsomuch
l
astnightIsl eptlate.Afterbrushingmyt eeth
anddoi ngmymor ningrouti
neIchangedmy
outfi
tintodenimj eanswi thabl ackbody suittop
andadeni m cropjacketwithmywhi t
eAdi das
sneakers.Iletmyhai rl
oose.Myphoner ang
andIsawi twasMul ler
.Myhear tstart
ed
beati
ngupsof ast,Iwasscaredaunt iecall
ed
hi
m andt ol
dhi m.Ianswer edt hecal l
infear.

Mul
l
er:
uphi
?(Wher
ear
eyou?
)
Me:
I..
.CapeTown.
Mull
er:
*sighs*It
houghtIt
oldy
out
ost
ayi
n
Ki
ngWi l
li
amsTown.
Me:Icoul
dn't
,ifIstayedther
eIwoul
d'v
ekil
led
mysel
f.Theywer ereall
ybull
yi
ngme.Idon'
t
wanttogobackt here.
Muller
:*si
ghs*fi
ne.Aunt
iecall
edmelastni
ght
sayi
ngy ouweren'
tsl
eepingathomebecauseof
yourboyfr
iendbutIt
oldheryoudon'
thavea
boyfri
end.

Ipanickedforabi
t,butIcameupwi
tht
he
quickestl
ie.

Me:she'
sdelusional.Youknowhowt heyare.
Shemust'
vemi stakentheUberdri
verhel
ping
mewiththebagsasmyboy fri
end.
Mul
ler:
yeah.Iwil
llety
ouknowwhenIam back
i
nKing,Iwantyoutheret
oosowecansol
v eal
l
oft
hispett
yshit.
Me:
okay
.
Muller:t
alktoyoulater,
Iwillsendsomemoney
forgroceri
es,weleftthefr
idgeempt y.Bobby
camewi thussoy ouwi l
lbeal one.Lov
eyou,l
il
sis.
Me:
thanky
ou,
lov
eyout
oo.

Webot hhungupandf i
nal l
ybr eat
hed.Il i
edt o
Mullerandhethi
nksIam athome, het rustsme
somuch.Heact uallyli
stenstomywor dov er
auntie'
s.Wow,thisisact ual
lyanadv antagef or
me.Iwal keddownst ai
rs.Xav ierwaswat ching
somesoccershirtl
esswi thScr appy.Icoul dst i
l
l
seehehadt hebruises.Ismi ledandgr eeted
them.Scrappywassur prisedIwast here.

Scr
appy
:watgaanaan?(
Whati
sgoi
ngon?)
Xav
ier
:we'
redat
ing.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOPOV-
-
.
.
ScrappylookedatmeandIalr
eadyknewwhat
hewast hinki
ng.Lonaj
ustsmi
ledandwal
kedt
o
thekit
chen.

Scr
appy
:Mul
l
erwi
l
lki
l
lyou.
Me:
letmewor
ryaboutt
hat
.Noty
ou.
~~
Iparkedatmyuncl e'syar
d,andt herewasa
womanget ti
ngoutofthehouse.WhenIgotout
mycar .Iwasshockedt oseeLona' smom, well
Ithi
nkt hat'
sher.Butshehadonaweav ewith
makeup, shelookedtoodiff
erentbutlooked
exactl
yl i
keher.Shewaswear ingheelsandshe
gotinherwhi t
eMer cedesGWagon.Shedr ove
pastmewhi l
eIstoodthereshocked.Whatt he
fuckdidIjustsee?
[
02/
17,
16:
45]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT22
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Icoul
dn'
tevengoaftert
hecarbecauseshe
wasdriv
ingsofast
.Iquickl
ywal
kedinthe
houseandstar
tedl
ookingformyuncle.

Me:
Ghost
!*shout
s*
Fif
i:he'snother
e.Hewentoutanhourago.
*smiles*
Me:
tanni
e(aunt
ie)
,whowast
hat
?
Fi
fi
:whathappenedt
oyourf
ace!
?*wor
ri
ed*
Me:
whot
hef
uckwast
hat
!?*
shout
s*
Fi
fi
:who?*
conf
used*
Me:thewomanwhojustwentoutr
ightnow.
Shewasdri
vi
ngtheGWagon.SheisLona's
mother!
Fif
i:no,Si
siphodoesnothav
eanychildr
en.I
thi
nkIwoul dknowifmybestfr
iendhad
chil
dren.*
chuckles*
Me: sheisLona'
smother
!Itist
hatf
uckingbi
tch!
Shewasher etohir
eahitonme.Arey ou
fuckingprot
ecti
ngher
!?*shout
s*
Fi
f i
:okay,Xav
ier
.Calm down.Iwillnothaveyou
speakt omeinthattone.Iam tell
i
ngy ou
Sisi
pho, mybestfr
iend,doesnothaveany
chil
dren.Shecannothav ekidsduetomedi cal
i
ssues.
Me:
Iswear
,tanni
e.Shel
ooksj
ustl
i
keLona'
s
mot
her
..
.
Fi
fi:
oryouarejustpar
anoid.Si
tdownandIwi
ll
getyousomethingtodri
nk.Peopl
elookal
i
ke
ever
yday.
Me:yeah,may
bemyeyesarefool
i
ngme.Ihat
e
t
hatbit
chsomucht
hatIstar
tseei
ngher
*
chuckles*
Fi
fi
:now,
tel
lmewhathappenedt
oyou.
Me:
Kennyhappened.
Fi
fi
:what
?Whendi
dthi
shappen?
Me:hesneakedanat
tackonmei
nEast
ern
Cape.
Fi
fi:
whatwer
eyouev
endoi
ngt
her
e,t
ell
me
again.
Me:
hadt
ogocheckonLona
Fi
fi
:doesthi
sLonaknowt
hesacr
if
icesy
ou
makeforher
?
Me: yes.Andsheappr eci
ateseverysingl
eone.
*chuckles*shei sdi
fferentfr
om thegirl
sIused
tohav e.Sheisacr y
baby ,butsomet i
messhe
l
ov esthinkingsheisbossyandor der
sme
around* laughs*andshehast hi
scute
expressiononherwhensheeat s.Andwhen
shesl
eepsshe-
Fi
fi
:ohmyGod.*
smi
l
es*

Ilookedatherandshewaslooki
ngatmewith
tearsinherey
es.Iwasconf
usedwhatthehel
l
shewascr yi
ngfor.

Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Fi
fi
:youar
einl
ove.
Me:
thenwhyar
eyoucr
ying?
Fi
fi
:Iam j
ustsoexcited!Youaregoi
ngtogi
ve
megrandchil
dren.*
sniff
s*sheneedstocome
ov
erfordinner
.Tonight,Xav
ier
.
Me:
tooear
ly.Ghostmi
ghtscar
eher*
laughs*
Fi
fi
:donotdi
ssmybabyl
i
ket
hat
.
Me:*l
aughs*Iwantt
ochil
lwit
hLonafi
rst
bef
oreherbrot
her
sgetbackandtheymight
wantherbacki
nthei
rhometown.
Fi
fi
:wher
eisherhomet
own?
Me:
East
ernCape.
Fi
fi
:wai
t,i
sn'
tthatwher
-
Me: Kennyis.Iknow,butitrustherbr
other
s.
Theywoul dneverletanyt
hinghappent oher
.
Kennyrespectsthem.It'
smet hathel
ikes
fucki
ngwi t
h.
Fif
i:hemayrespectherbrother
sbuthishate
foryouisstr
ongerthantherespecthehasfor
them.Shecannotgobackt her
e.Youare
sendinghertoherdeath.AndIhavenoteven
hadmygr andchi
ldr
eny et.
Me:youaregoi
ngt
owai
tal
ongt
imef
ort
hat
.
*
laughs*
Fi
fi
:j
ustbr
inghert
odi
nnert
oday
.

Thedooropened,
andIhear
dGhostt
alki
ng.
Ghost:Iwantt
hemoneycl
eanedinlesst
hat24
hour
sori ti
snotgoi
ngt
obeagr eatdayf
oryou
l
aait
ie.(ki
d)

Hecameinsi
det heki
tchenandi
mmediat
ely
dr
oppedthecall
,andl
ookedatme.Iknewhe
wasupsetovermyfacebrui
ses.

Ghost
:whodi
dit
?
Me:youdroppedabusinesscal
lfort
heset
iny
br
uises?*
chuckles*t
heyareheal
ing.
Ghost
:whodi
dit
?
Fi
fi
:Kenny
.Hewasi
nEast
ernCape.

Il
ookedather,shesmi
ledandshr
uggedher
shoul
ders.Iwasgoi
ngtotel
lhi
m aft
erI
str
essedhimforawhil
esohecanagr eet
ohel
p
mewi t
hthewarbecauseIwasgoingtoki
ll
Kennyaf
terIf
indhi
m.

Ghost
:whatthefuckwer
eyoudoi
ngi
nEast
ern
Cape!
?*annoyed*
Me:
Ihadt
ogopr
otectLona.
Ghost
:thi
sLonawi l
lstar
ttogetonmyner
vesi
f
shemakey out
hinkir
rati
onal
.
Me: t
rustme,shei
stheonl
yreasonawar
hasn'
tstar
ted.
Ghost
:hesneakedanat
tack?
Me:thati
stheonlywayhewouldev erl
aya
fi
ngeronme.Thatweaklaai
tiet
hinkshecando
anyt
hinghewants.Iwanthi
m dead.
Ghost
:fuckawar
,letusdot
his.
Me:f
if
iandLonawi
l
lgot
othesaf
ehousef
ora
whi
l
e.
Fi
fi
:wait
!Whydon'
tyouguysj
ustcall
hisfat
her
andtel
lhi
mtocont
rolhi
ssonother
wise,he
mightfi
ndhi
m dead.I
nsteadofki
l
li
nghi
mri
ght
away,sendawarni
ngfi
rst.
Me:Idonotcar
eaboutwar
nings.Iwanthi
m
dead.
Fi
fi
:Ihatet
hesaf
ehouse.AndIam sur
eLona
wi
llhat
eitt
oo.
Ghost
:Iwi
l
lthi
nkofapl
an.
Fi
fi:
canyoubel
iev
eZaythoughtSi
siphohada
daught
erandi
tisLona*
laughs*
Ghost
:*chuckl
es*Si
siphoandchi
l
dren?
Me:shelooksexactl
yli
kehermom, i
t'
sjustt
he
weaveandlif
esty
lesthatar
edif
fer
ent

Theyshookt
hei
rheadsl
aughi
ngnotbel
i
evi
nga
thi
ngIsai
d.
~~
Iwal
kedinsi
dethehouse,andIsaw ever
ythi
ng
wasclean.Ismi
ledt
hatshecleanedt
hehouse
becauseIwasgoi
ngtosortev
erythi
ngmysel
f
whenIcamebackfrom myuncle'
shouse.

Lona:
youar
eback.
Me:y
eah.GhostwasawaysoIhadt
owai
tfor
hi
m.

Shoul
dIt el
lheraboutthelookali
kesi
tuat
ion?I
deci
dednott obecauseImi ghtbethewrong
onehere.Shecameandr eachedovertogiv
e
meapeckonmyl ips.

Lona:
arey
ouokay
?
Me:
yes.
Lona:y
ourmindj
ustseemsl
i
kei
tisal
lov
ert
he
pl
ace.Youar
etooquiet.
Me:Iam fi
ne.Ghostgavemeper
missiontoki
l
l
KennybutIhavetowaitaf
ewdaysfi
rst.
Lona:murderi
sthel
astt
hingIwantt
otal
k
aboutpl
ease.
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Lona:IkeepseeingthedeadbodiesIsawt
hat
nightwheneverIsl
eep.Theeventkeeps
replay
inginmyheadl i
keabrokenCD.
Me:
wantsl
eepi
ngpi
l
ls?
Lona:
no.Iwil
lbefi
ne.Ihaveatherapysessi
on
whenIret
urnbacktoschoolIwi
llbefine.
Me:
okay
.

Iwant
edtoaskheraboutt
hesaf
ehouse,
butI
ki
ssedherf
ir
stsoshecanagr
eeeasi
l
y.

Me:
howwoul
dyouf
eel
stay
ingi
nasaf
ehouse?
Lona:
whati
sthat
?
Me:i
tisasmal
lhousei
nthemi ddl
eofnowhere.
Nooneknowst
helocat
ionexceptGhost
,and
ther
eisnoInter
netconnect
ionorany t
hingonl
y
foodandbooksplusgamesf orboredom.Itisa
safehouse.Noonecanhur tyouthere.
Lona:
Ihav
eschool
.
Me:
Ikno-
l
ona:
theny
ouknowIcannotgo.
Me:
letmef
ini
sh.
Lona:
sor
ry.
Me:iti
sforal
it
tl
ewhileunt
ilwesortthi
ngsout
aft
erIki
ll
KennybecauseKenny'
sfatheri
sver
y
danger
ous.
Lona:
Mullerwant
smebackhomewhenhei
s
donewit
ht hej
ob.
Me:
hewi
l
lhav
etowai
t.
Lona:
no,
thesaf
ehousewi
l
lwai
t.
Me:
Iona-
Lona:
baby
.
Ij
ustchuckl
edatherbei
ngstubbor
n.She
smil
edatme, Il
i
ckedmylipsshaki
ngmyhead.

Me:
youhav
etol
i
stent
ome.
Lona:
Iam.
Me:
whendoesMul
l
erwanty
oubacki
nKi
ng?
Lona:
aft
erhei
sdonewi
tht
hemi
ssi
on.
Me:
sonextweek.
Lona:
yes.
Me:whati
fKennyi
sther
eandhei
swai
ti
ngf
or
yout
ogetther
ean-
Lona:Iwil
lbewit
hmybr ot
hersatal
lti
mes.I
won'tevengototown.Sodon'
tworr
y.
Me:
may
beIshoul
dcomewi
thy
ou.
Lona:no.Youaregoi
ngtost
ayher
e.St
opbei
ng
paranoi
d.Iwil
lbeokay.
Me:y
ouwil
lcal
lmei
ncasey
ouhav
eany
pr
obl
em.
Lona:
yes.*
rol
l
sey
essmi
l
ing*
Me:
Iam ser
ious
Lona:
Iknowy
ouar
e.Ar
eyouhungr
y?
Me:
Lel
ona.
..
Lona:yesXavier
,Iwil
lcal
lyoui
fIhav
ea
probl
em.Stopwor r
ying,y
oushoul
dbewor
ri
ed
aboutyouri
njuri
es.
Me:
Iam f
eel
i
ngbet
ter
.
Lona:
arey
ouhungr
y?
Me:
arey
ougoi
ngt
ocook?*
smi
rks*
Lona:
no.*
laughs*

Il
ookedather,shel
aughedevenmore.Idon't
mindnotbei
ngablet
ocookbutatleastshe
shoul
dbeabletodosomethi
ngbesidesclean.
Lona:
I'
mjokingbabe,
Iwi
l
lcook.It
houghty
ou
l
ikedt
akeaways.
Me:
notal
lthet
ime.Iwantmybabyt
osur
pri
se
mesomet
imes.
Lona:wel
lyoushoul
dbuygr
ocer
iessoIcan
surpr
isey
ou.
me:
Ithi
nkGl
ady
sboughtsomef
ood.
Lona:
Glady
s..
.?
Me:
mymai
d.
Lona:
oh.
..
Me:
don'
tworry
,she'
sol
denought
obemy
mot
her*
chuckl
es*
Lona:
Ijustsai
doh,
not
hingel
se*
laughs*
Me:Iknowwhengi
rl
ssayoh,
itmeans
somethi
ngbad.
Lona:eshee*
laughs*y
out hi
nky
ouknow
ever
ythi
ngaboutfemales.
Me:
IknowIdo.*
smi
rks*
Lona:
okay
,Xav
ier
.

Shewal kedovert
ot heki
tchen.If
oll
owed
cl
oselybehindher.Theki
tchenwasspotless
andthatconfusedmebecauseIr emember
Scr
appymaki ngabi gmesswhenhewant ed
somef ood.Thatti
meLonawasi nmyroom.

Me:youshoul
d'
vef
orcedScr
appyt
ocl
eanhi
s
mess.
Lona:
Iam nott
hatmean.
Me:onceyoustartdoingt
hingsf
orhi
m,hewi
l
l
t
akeadvantage.TrustmeIknow.
Lona:
*chuckl
es*st
opbei
ngmean,
andsi
t
down.
Me:
fine,
don'
tl
ist
ent
ome.*
smi
l
es*
Lona:
hav
eyout
akeny
ourmedi
cine?
Me:
yup.

Shestart
edmakingasandwichf
orme.Fi
ll
ed
withcheese,
tomat
oes,l
ett
uceandham.Then
shemadesomej ui
ceforme.Andgavet
he
plat
etomeandj ui
cewit
hasmi l
eonher.

Me:
Icoul
dgetusedt
othi
s.
Lona:her
eyougoruini
ngamomentwi
thy
our
cockycomments.*
chuckl
es*
Me:
ohwewer
ehav
ingamoment*
smi
l
es*
Lona:
no,
Iam j
usti
magi
ningt
hings.*
sar
cast
ic*

Il
aughedatherbei
ngsar
cast
ictome.Ipul
led
hercl
osertome.Andki
ssedhershebl
ushed
andgri
nned.

Lona:
whatwast
hatf
or?
Me:
can'
tIki
ssmygi
rl
?
Lona:
*laughs*Idi
dn'
tsayt
hat
.
Me:
Ijustr
eal
l
yadmi
rey
ou.
Lona:*
smil
es*whowoul
d'v
ethoughtt
het
ough
Xavi
erwoul
dbethi
ssoft
.
Me:I'
m nev
ergoi
ngt
ober
omant
icwi
thy
ou
agai
n
Lona:
Iam notsay
ingt
hatbaby
.

Shesmiled,
peckedmyl
i
psr
epeat
edl
yunt
ilI
smil
ed.Shegiggl
ed.

Lona:Ij
ustdi
dn'
texpectyout
obet hissweet.
Fi
rstt
imeIsawitwasv er
yscared,
y oulooked
waytoomean.
Me:andy ouwer
ethebiggestcr
ybabyint
hat
house.Andyousti
l
lar
e.Youwer edramat
ict
oo
Lona:
Iam notdr
amat
ic.
Me:baby,y
oupul
l
edKay
lat
oanot
herr
oom j
ust
t
otalktoher.
Lona:
Idon'
tl
iket
alki
ngar
oundpeopl
eIdon'
t
know.
Me:
*chuckl
es*okay
,ify
ousayso.
Lona:
*smi
l
es*mx
m.
Me:myauntwant
syout
ogoatherhousef
or
di
nner
Lona:
no.

Shel
ookedscaredandIj
ustl
aughedoutl
oud.
Shef
oldedherarmsandl
ookedatme.

Me:
shei
sreal
l
yancaal
ady
.
Lona:
iti
swayt
oosoon.
Me:wewer
ejusttal
ki
ngabouty
ou,
andshe
want
edtomeetyou.
Lona:
tal
ki
ngaboutme?whataboutme?
Me:shewasj
ustaski
ngwhyIwasfi
ght
ingwit
h
Kenny,
andt
hereasonformebei
ngsohappy
.
Lona:
andy
ousai
ditwasme?*
blushes*
Me:
yes*
chuckl
es*

Ipl
acedherinbetweenmyl egs,andheldher
waist
.IwantedtotouchherfatasssobadbutI
hadtocontr
olmy sel
fbecauseIhavetot ake
babystepswit
hherev enwhenIwantt or ush
thi
ngssomuch.

Lona:
Iwi
l
lgo,
butwhati
ftheydon'
tl
ikeme?
Me:
trustmet
heywi
l
l.
Lona:
but
-
Me:nobut
s,l
etmeenj
oymyf
oodandmy
woman.
Iki
ssedhersl owly,Imadesur etokissherso
goodbecauseIwant edhertobehor ny .The
small eyesonherl ooksexyasf uck.I tisreal
ly
cuteshedoesn' tknowwhenherey esbecome
small theymeansomet hingelse.Shepul l
edmy
l
ips,breakingt hekissof f
.Ilookedatherey es
andt heywer esmal l.Ili
ckedmyl ipslookingat
her.Shebl ushedandl ookeddown.

Lona:
stopl
ooki
ngatmel
i
ket
hat
.
me:
li
kewhat
?
Lona:
justeaty
ourf
ood.

Shewalkedawaylaughi
ng.Ishookmyhead
andar
et hesandwichwi
thsomej ui
ce.
~~
Il
ookedatherwear i
ngt hesi
mplet i
ghtblue
dress.Shehadbrai
dedherhairintwobr aids.
Shelookedverybeauti
ful.Thedressshowed
offhercur v
esinthemostsexywayever
.Iwor
e
mybl uet-shir
twi
thablackJean,wi
thbl
uecap
andbl uesneaker
s.

Lona:
copy
ingmyst
yle,
Isee.
Me:
nicet
ry*
smi
l
es*

Shesmi l
edwithmeandwewenttomyuncl
e'
s
house.Wegott her
eandIr
emember
edwhatI
sawy est
erday
.

Me:
whati
syourmom'
sname?
Lona:
what
?
Me:
yourmom'
sname.
Lona:
whyar
eyouaski
ng?
Me:
ther
eisnov
ali
dreasonf
ori
t.
Lona:
don'
ttel
lmey
ourpl
anni
ngt
oresear
ch
abouther
.Iwi
l
lbev
eryannoy
ed.
Me:
no,
Lel
ona.Justt
ell
mehername.
Lona:
Isi
pho
Me:
notSi
sipho?
Lona:
no.I
sipho.
Me:
okay
...
Lona:
whyar
eyouaski
ng?

IneedtoresearchonLona'smom becauseher
havi
ngsomeonewhol ooksj
ustl
ikeherst
il
l
confusesmeal ot.Ineedtogett
ot ohel
p
bott
om ofthis.

Me:
Itol
dyou,
Idonothav
eav
ali
dreason.
Lona:
wel
lwhati
sthatr
eason?
Me:justwant
edt
oknowf
ort
hesakeof
knowing
Shedidn'
tbeli
evemeso, shej
ustroll
edher
eyesandwalkedtowar dsthedoor.Ishookmy
headbecauseIdidn'twantustohav ean
argumentri
ghtbeforewehav edinnerwithmy
uncleandmyaunt .Icaughtupwithherand
heldherwai
stfrom thebackandki ssedher
cheek.

Me:IIam notgoi
ngt
odoany
thi
ngt
oher
.I
pr
omise.

Shelookedbackatmeandsmi led.Icannot
bel
ieveIam bei ngcontroll
edbyawoman.Lov e
i
sreall
yt hestrangestthingever.Idon'twantt o
admititbutifthisgir
lsaidshewant ed
someonedead, Iwoulddoi tinahear t
beat .She
couldtel
l met ojumpinar iverf
ullofshar ks.I
woulddoi tjustforher.Ichuckledindi sbeli
ef
athowwhi ppedIam.Iopenedt hedoor ,and
wal
kedinwit
hher.Icoul
dseeshewasnerv
ous
soIhel
dherhandtoassureherev
ery
thi
ngwil
l
beokay
.

Me:
Ghost
!
Ghost
:di
ningr
oom!

Iknewwewer eabitlat
ebecauseLonahadt o
brai
dherhair
.That'
swhyshewasal sonerv
ous
becauseshedidn'
twantthem t
osayshe'srude.

Fi
fi
:andwef
inal
l
ymeett
hef
amousLona.

Lonasmi
l
edandl
ookedner
vousashel
l
.

Lona:
goodev
eni
ng.
Fi
fi
:hey
,Iam Ref
il
oeandt
hisi
smyhusband
Xander
.Hei
sXav
ier
'suncl
e.
Lona:
it'
sver
yni
cet
omeety
ou.
Fi
fi
:l
ikewi
se.*
smi
l
es*

Theystar
tedtal
ki
ngandtal
ki
ngaboutsomany
di
ffer
entthi
ngs,myuncl
eandIstar
tedget
ti
ng
annoyed.

Ghost
:youwi
ll
cal
lheri
nti
mef
ordi
nner
.We
wil
lbei
nthemancave.

Fif
ijustwavedusoffandstar
tedtalkingto
Lonaagain.Ismil
edandleftt
hem ther eand
fol
lowedbehindmyuncle.Wewat chedsome
rugbywhiledri
nki
ngbeersbecauset hedinner
wast aki
ngalotofti
me.

Ghost
:she'
spr
ett
y.Iwi
l
lgi
vey
out
hat
.
Me:
Iknow.
Ghost
:whatwi
l
lherbr
other
ssayaboutt
his?
Me:
wewi
l
lcr
osst
hatbr
idgewhenwegett
her
e.
Ghost
:soyoupushi
nghert
oakit
chencount
er
wasyourwayofchar
mingher
?*l
aughs*
me:
don'
tst
art
.
Ghost
:sheisnotyourt
ypicalt
ypebutshe's
goodfory
ou.Iseethewayy oulookather.
She'
sgoodforyou,butdon'tl
etherchangeyou
i
nthegame.
Me:
meani
ng?
Ghost :t
hef i
rstti
meIfellf
orFifiIbecameweak,
everyonestartedchall
engi
ngmeand
disrespecti
ngmebecausewheny ou'r
einlove.
Yout ryeverythi
ngnottodisappointyourgi
rlbut
remembert hehustl
eneverstops.Sheshouldn't
i
nt erf
erewithy ourmoneyorgame.
Me:
shewon'
t.
Henodded.AndIl
ookedawayupsetthatGhost
want
smet obemor etoughbuthe'
ssoftas
f
uckwithFif
i.
{
NEXTWEEK}
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Xav
ier
:youwi
l
lcal
lassoonasy
oul
and.
Me:
yes
Xavier
:okay,
besaf
e.Andassoonasapr
obl
em
resurf
aces.Cal
lmequi
ckl
y
Me:
Iwi
l
l.
Xav
ier
:Iam ser
ious,
baby
.
Me:
Iam t
oo.
Xav
ier
:wheny
ouwi
l
lcomeback?
Me:Iwil
ltal
kwi
thmybr
other
ssoIcancome
backear
ly.
Xav
ier
:okay
.Seey
out
hen.
Me:
Iwi
l
lmi
ssy
ou.

Ipoutedlooki
ngathim.Ireal
l
ywillmisshim.
Thisweekhasbeenamazi ng,webondedov er
every
thing.Andheletsmebeme.Thedi nner
withhisfamil
ywasalsoamazing.Fi
fireal
ly
l
ikesme, andboyam Ihappyaboutthat.

Xav
ier
:Iwi
l
lcal
lyouev
ery
day
.
Me:
bye.
Xav
ier
:by
e.

HeletmegoandIwentt
odoeverythi
ngsoI
cangetinmyfl
i
ght
.WhenIwasdone,Ifinal
l
y
gotonthefl
i
ght
.WhenIf
inal
l
yarr
ived.Isaw
Mull
er&KingIr
ant
othem wi
thmybagand
huggedt
hem.

Me:
Imi
ssedy
ouguy
ssomuch!
Mul
l
er:
missedy
out
ool
i
lsi
s.
Ki
ng:
whathappenedt
oyourcheek?

Heseent her
emai
ningsmallbr
uisefr
om wher
e
Kennypunchedme.WordsgotstuckandI
di
dn'tev
enknowhowt orepl
y.
.
.
.
Guysmybat ter
yison3%andI'
m atmyv i
ll
age
thatiswhyIam sobusy .Iwil
ltr
ytof i
nda
chargert
hough ther
emaybemistakesin
thepost
[
02/
17,
16:
45]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT23
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Theybot
hlookedatmeandIwasut
ter
lyst
uck
wit
hnoli
einmymout h.

Ki
ng:
Lel
ona.
Me:
pleasej
ustdr
opi
t.

Mullertouchedmyf
aceandcheckedthebrui
se
out.Iknowhewasangryfarmoreangryt
hanhe
couldexplain.
Mul
ler
:Idon'twanttocauseasceneher
e.
Masambeni.(Let
'sgo)

Mul
lert
ookmybagandwal
kedfi
rst
.Whenwe
wer
einsi
det
hecar
.That
'swhenheexpl
oded.

Mul
l
er:
whot
hef
uckdi
dthi
stoy
ou!?*
angr
y*
Me:
cany
oupl
easej
ustdr
opt
his?
Muller
:Iwil
lnotfucki
ngdropi
t!
?You'
reourl
it
tl
e
sist
erandIswearifyoudaret
ofucki
ngtel
lme
todropit
,Iwil
lloseit
.
Me:
mom.

Ididn'
tknowwhatt osaysoIli
ed.Icannott
ell
mybr other
sIwaswi thXavi
erandKenny
accidental
l
ypunchedme.Thatwouldcausea
hugehav ocsi
tuat
ion.Idi
dn'
twanttr
oubl
eatall
,
andmom deser v eswhat '
scomi ngt oherfor
treati
ngmesobadl y.Ididn'
tevenknowi fI
shoul dtel
lthem aboutt hewhi psituati
on.They
bothl ookedveryangr yshockedt hatourmot her
woul d"punchme" .Thegui l
tkepteat i
ngme
alivewhenhedr oveof fi
nanger .Thecarwas
mov i
ngsof astIwasscar edhewoul dcrashthe
car.Assoonaswear ri
vedhome, heparkedin
thegar ageandjumpedoutoft hecar .

Me:
Khazi
mla!
Mul
l
er:
stayoutofi
t.
Me:Iam al
readyi
nit.Pl
easel
eti
tgo.I
twi
l
l
makemat t
ersworse.
Muller
:doy
ouseey ourcheek!
?Matter
sare
alr
eadywor
se.Ineedtosortthi
soutonceand
forall
.

Hest
ormedi
nsi
det
hehouse,andKi
nghel
ped
mewi
thmybag.

Me:
cany
out
ell
himt
onotov
err
eact
.
Ki
ng:mom needstostopt
hismadness.And
Mull
eri
stheonlyoneshel
ist
ensto.
Me:Idon'twantt
ocausetensi
oni
nthehouse.
Iwi
l
l bethebadperson.
Ki
ng:no.That'
snott
rueatal
l
,shei
stheone
whokeepscreati
ngt
hetensi
onandal
lofthi
s
wi
llendtoday
.Comeon.

Wewal kedi
nsi
dethehouse,andIregr
ett
ed
returni
ngbecausewhenIsteppedinmyaunt
glaredatme,mom lookedangry.

Mama:kutheni
uxokangam nj
ewena?(
Why
ar
eyoulyi
ngaboutme?)
Me:
ma?
Mama:
uthi
nya.
Me: mom,pleasedon'
tdothi
s.Youknow
you'r
etheonlywhodidit
.Don'
tmakemelook
crazy.

Rightnowtearswerefal
li
ng,notbecauseIwas
scaredofherbutbecausetheguil
twaseating
meal i
ve.Shelookedatmesosad, Iwantedto
comeoutwi ththetr
uthbutIjustl
ookeddown.

Mull
er:her
e'swhat'
sgoi ngt
ohappen.Youwil
l
apol
ogizeandshe'soffthechor
esforawhil
e
unti
lIdon'
tseethebruiseonher.
Me:
Khazi
mlai
t'
soka-
Mul
l
er:
qui
et!

Ishutmymout hupr
ealqui
ckandIfel
treal
ly
bad.Idon'
tknowwhyIam l
iket
his,
may be
becauseIknowshedi
dn'
ttakepar
tint
his
brui
se.

Mama: Khazi
mlaawuzondi
xel
elamandenze
nt
oniendli
niyam!(
Khaziml
ayouwon'
ttel
lme
whatt
odoi tmyhouse!)
Mull
er:ndibhatal
ayonkeikakael
apha
ndi
zokwazi .(
WhileI
'm st
il
lpayi
ngforev
ery
thi
ng
shi
tthatishereIwil
l.
)
Mama: bonanj
emasiveutatawakhouzothi
ni
ngal
ento!(
Youknowwhatl et'
shearwhatyour
fat
herwil
lsayaboutt
his!
)

Mull
erjustshruggedcarel
essl
y.Mom gotso
angr
yshest oodupandt ri
edtocomebeatme
up,butKingstoodinfrontofme.

King:
yint
oninaoladyingat
hiungumnt
ana
ezwayuzenzayo.(Whatisi
tMom you'
react
ing
l
i
keachi
l
d)
Mama:Yanga,ungandi
xel
eliukhol
elwalent
o!
(
Yangadon'
ttel
lmey oubel
ievethi
st hi
ng!
)
King:
unemibal
ael
imnyamangexayakho!(
She
hasadarkbrui
sebecauseofy
ou!
)
Mama:unenzani
ndi
j
ikel
e(she'
smaki
ngy
ou
t
urnagai
nstme.)

Iwalkedtomyroom andj ustlai

donmybed.I
couldn'
tst
aytherefort
hatf i
ghtbecauseitwas
aboutme.Icall
edmyboosi nceImissedhim
somuch.Iwant edmymi ndt ogetdist
ract
edby
al
lthemessmyf amil
yhas.Heanswer edv er
y
qui
ckly.

Me:
baby
..
.
Xavi
er:
mylief
.(Myl
ove)watgaanaan?(
What
's
goi
ngon?)
Me:whywouldyousaythat
?YousaidIshoul
d
cal
lyouassoonasIgethome.Iam home.

Iheardthedoorbei
ngknocked.Ihi
dmyphone
underthepil
l
owandr antothedoorsothe
persondoesn'
tsuspectany
thi
ng.Iopenedthe
dooranditwasMul l
er

Mul
l
er:
ugr
and?(
You'
reokay
?)
Me:
yes.
Mul
l
er:
ubut
het
ha..
.(y
ouwer
espeaki
ng.
..
)
Me:
Iwasj
ustgi
vi
ngmy
sel
fapept
alk.
Mull
er:
Idon'
twantyoutohat
ey ourhome.
That
'swhyIwastoughonmom becausethat
'
s
whenshe'
ll
tal
ktr
eatingy
oudif
ferentl
y.
Me:
Ihopeso.
Mul
l
er:
okay
,Iwi
l
lbei
nmyf
lati
fyouneedme
Inoddedandhewalkedaway.Ibreat
hed,thenI
l
ockedthedoor
.WhenIsatont hebed,It
ook
myphoneandXavierwassti
l
l onthel
ine.

Me:
sor
ryaboutt
hat
.
Xav
ier
:what
'sgoi
ngon?
Me:Mul
l
erhandl
edthemom si
tuati
on.Wewil
l
seet
omorr
owifshetr
eat
smedi f
ferent
ly.
Xavi
er:
IknewIl
i
kedhi
m bet
tert
hant
heot
her
brot
her
.
Me:
don'
tDi
ssKi
ng.
Xav
ier
:jammerbaba.(
Sor
ry,
baby
.)*
laughs*
Me:neversaybabaagainbecauset
hat
soundedsoweird.*
laughs*
Xav
ier
:Imi
ssy
ou.
Me:
real
l
ynow.
..*
smi
rks*
Xav
ier
:don'
tpushi
t.
Me:
Imi
ssy
out
oo.Mor
eact
ual
l
y.
Xavier
:ri
ghtnowIwoul
dbecuddl
ing,
wat
chi
ng
soccerandkissi
ngy
outhenmydaywoul
dbe
al
lmade.
me:
you'
rej
ustt
ryi
ngt
omakemebl
ush.
*
smil
es*
Xavi
er:Iam ser
ious.Imi
ssourcuddl
es.You
needtohurr
yupandcomeback.
Me:
it'
s2weeksl
eft
.
Xav
ier
:feel
sli
keet
erni
ty.
Me:
*bl
ushes*andy
ousai
dyouwer
en'
tthe
r
omant
ictype.
Xav
ier
:Iam not
.ButIam j
ustbei
nghonest
.
Me:mybrot
hersaskedaboutt
hecheekbr
uise
f
rom t
heKennyfi
ght.
Xav
ier
:whatdi
dyousay
?
Me:Ipi
nnedi
tonmom.If
eel
sogui
l
ty.I
t'
s
eat
ingmeup
Xav
ier
:why
?Shedeser
vesi
t
Me: t
hewayMull
erspokewit
hher
.Itwaslike
shewasn'thi
smom,itwassodi
srespect
ful.I
fel
treal
l
ybad.
Xav i
er:
everyti
mey oufeelgui
lt
yyoushoul
d
remembert hewayshet r
eatedyouandall
that
shitwil
lfl
yoffthewindow.
Me:
*chuckl
es*okay
,Iwi
l
ltr
ythat
.
~~
Aft
erthecallt
hatlastedf orhour s.Iwasal ways
l
aughingandIam sur ethoset hatheardme
thi
nkIhavelostmymi nd.IgotonWhat sApp
andpostedastatussay ing" whoknewIcoul d
bethishappy. "Ismi l
edj ustlookingatmy
phone.Icannotbel i
eveIam act uall
yfalli
ngin
l
ove.Myphonev ibrat
edbecauseIr eceiveda
message.IcheckedmyWhat sAppandi twas
Cardo.
Car
do :
Rel
l
iki
sgoodf
ory
ou,
youev
enhappy
now
Me:mxm,
ify
ou'
regoi
ngt
oannoymedon'
ttext
me
Car
do :
missy
out
ooki
ddo.
Me:
Idon'
tmi
ssy
ou
Car
do :
hahahav
eryf
unny
Me:I
'm onlyj
oki
ngidi
ot Imi ssyoutoo,y
ou
andXavierar
etheonl
yfr
iendsIhav
eleft
.
Car
do :t
hat
'sbecausey
ou'
ret
oocr
azyt
o
hav
emor
efri
ends.
Me:that
'sbecauseidontwantnewf
ri
ends.I
am goodwithonly2fr
iends.
Car
do :
yeahr
ight

IknowCar dowasjoki
ngbutiwasabi t
offendedt
hathewasr i
ght
.Ican'
tev enmake
fr
iends.Iam st
uckwithonl
y2f r
iendsinmyli
fe.
Iwasget t
ingabitthi
rstysoIunlockedmydoor
andwentt othekit
chen.Isawmymot herand
auntprepari
ngfood.Iwant edt
ot urnbackso
badbutIwasr eall
ythir
sty.WhenIopenedt he
fr
idgethat'
swhent heystoppedtalki
ngand
bothlookedatme.

Dabs:nal
i
'i
hul
elomzi(
her
e'st
hehoeoft
he
house)
Mama:Ndeshmyekeman.Inent
oeninzii
nto
enal
omnt
ana.(
Ndeshleav
eheralone.Thi
schil
d
bri
ngsal
otoft
roubl
e.)

Theybot hkeptquietandIjustdrankmywat er
andwal kedbackt omyroom.Iwasf eel
ing
sleepyso,Islept.Idon'
tevenwantt hei
rgreasy
food!Idon'tevendoany t
hingt ot
hem butit'
s
l
iketheirdayisnotokaywi thoutt
hem tear
ing
medown.Thenex tdayIwokeupscr eaming.I
hadt hedream ofthedeadpeopl eJRand
Shoot ershot .Iwassweat ingandhav inga
panicat tackscar edt hatIwi lldieher einKing
Wi l
li
amsTown.Ir eachedov ermyphonet ocall
Xav i
erbutIst oppedbecauseIcoul dn'tcallhim.
Hewoul dr ushher ev eryfastandt hatwoul d
placehimi ndanger .Itr i
edcont ainingmypani c
attackthenaf teritgotbet terIbr eat hedbet ter
andIj ustcoul dn'tst opt hinkingofal lthebloodI
saw.Ir ushedt otakemysmal lblankett hen
wentt ot hel ounget owat chsomecar toons
may bet heywi llmakemef eel better.Ididn't
wantt obot hermybr othersbecauset heyhav e
separ at
ef latsout sidet hehouseandIwas
scaredofbot her i
ngt hem.Af terwat chingthe
cartoonmov iet hat'swhenIf eltsleepyandi t
tookev erythi ngaway .Iwentt ot omyr oom and
threwmy sel font hebedandj ustsl ept.Iwoke
upt osomeonebangi ngonmydoor .Igr oaned
waki ngup.Iwal kedt ot hedoori nabadmood.

Mul
l
er:
whydi
dn'
tyout
urnt
heTVof
fatni
ght
?
Me:
what
?*t
ir
ed*
Mull
er:Mom saysyou'
renotbeingcooperat
ive
wit
htheagreementtonotprovokeher.You
shoul
dturntheTVoffatni
ghtandt heli
ghtsoff
.
Me:
sor
ry,
Ifor
got
.Iwassl
eepy
.
Mull
er:youguy
sar
est
art
ingt
oir
ri
tat
emeI
swear.

Hewal kedawaycl earl

yannoy edwi t
ht he
chil
dishbehav iourmeandmymom had.I
wantedt osleepagai nsoIst artedcreatingmy
sleepunt ili
tcameup.Isl eptlikeababyunt i
lI
fi
nall
ywokeupshockedt hatIslepttil
lnoon.
Thet i
mewas4pm andi remember edIhav en'
t
eatenany t
hingandIst i
ll
wasn' thungrybutI
neededt oeat.Iwal kedtosleept hekitchent o
boilwat erformyeggs.Af t
ermymor ning
routi
neandchangi ngintomygr eysweat pants
andbl ackbaggyt -shir
tandbl ackpuffysl i
des.I
wentbackt ot heki t
chen.Rightnowmymom
wasprepar
ingsampandbeans.Iboil
edmy
eggsandeatthem wi
thbr
eadafterIwasdoneI
noti
cedmybrother
sweren'
tther
e.

Me:baphi
ooYanga?(
Wher
ear
eYangaand
Khazi
mla?
)
Mama:andi
baziokobebemkeekuseni
.(Idon'
t
know,
theyl
efti
nthemor ni
ng)
Me:
okay
.

Sheconti
nuedst i
rr
ingt
hepotandaddingsome
spi
cesandoil.Dabswasn'
taroundandthat
wasquiteshockingtomebecauseshe'
susual
l
y
wherev
ermom i s.

Me:
uDabawoumki
l
e?(
Aunt
iei
sgone?
)
Mama:ewe,okoebey
othengai
Vegetown.(Yes,
shewental
ongtimeagotogobuyvegetabl
es.)
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
Mama:
he?(
What
?)
Me:
Iam sor
ry.
Mama:
ndi
yay
azi(
Iknow)
Me:
mama-
Mama: bauyakubethahambangokuusakwazi
Lel
ona.(I
fhehitsyouleav
ewhil
ey oucan
Lel
ona)
Me:
hedi
dn'
tbeatmeup.Hewoul
dnev
erdo
t
hat
.Hel
ovesme.
Mama: ucacisanj
anil
ombal
a?(howdoy
ou
expl
ainthatbrui
se?)
Me:
masi
yi
yeke.(
Let
'sl
eav
eit
.)
Mama: i
nyanii
zophumaanduzozi solaba
utheniuyenzalentohulendi
ni rhaauzokunya
Lelonaman!Uy andinyi
saendliniyam ogqi
ba
undixel
elendiy
iyekeingathi
abant wana
abandij
ikel
angawena!( Thetruthwillcomeout
andy ouwillr
egr etwhaty ourar
edoi
ngy ouhoe
damny ouwill
seeLel ona!You'r
emakingme
l
iveuncomf ortableinmyownhouset heny ou
tel
lmet ol
eaveitalonelikemysonsdidn'ttur
n
againstmef oryou!)
Me:
I..
.

Ij
ustwal
kedtomyroom becauseIknewifI
sai
danotherwor
dIwil
llandi
nmor etr
ouble.
MaybeIneedtoj
ustshutupandlett
hisgo.
~~
NextdayIwokeupdi dmymor ningrouti
neand
i
ntomykneer ippedlightbl
uejeanswith
super st
arsneakersandmygr ey" y
eezustour"t-
shir
t.Myhai rwasstilli
nthetwobr ai
ds.My
brothersweretakingmeoutf orshoppingandI
want ednewsneaker s.Myauntwasst il
lnot
backandmyuncl eplusdadwer eonabusi ness
tr
ip.Theyaret r
uckdr i
verssothat'
swhyt hey
're
neverhome.
Mul
l
er:
youar
eready
?
Me:
yes.

Wewentt otown,andIwasabitscar
edImi ght
bumpi nt
oKennyandhe'l
lrev
ealIam dat
ing
Xavi
er.Wef i
rstwentt
oMrPrice,
andbought
newclothes.
~~
Af
tert
hewholeshoppi
ngt
hetimewasnow
3:
30pm andIwant
edsomethi
ngnew.

Me:
iwantt
ohav
eanewcol
orweav
e.
Ki
ng:
what
?
Me:Iwantt
ohav eanewweav
eandmyweav
e
shoul
dbeblonde.
Mul
l
er:
whi
chsal
on?
King:
blonde?*
laughs*ndi
zoy
bonal
e!(
We'
l
lsee
aboutthi
s)

Iwentt
ot hehairpor
tsalonandIhadtobuy
weaveanddomyhai r.SoIsetanappoi
ntment
foraweeklaterbecauseIwantedtobuya
weavefi
rst.
~~
Athomewewal kedi
nsi
dewithusl
aughingat
mehav i
ngatdumbmomenti nt
hecar.When
wegotinside,
mom sawmybagsandshook
herhead.Iwenttomyroom andpl
acedthem
onthebed.Icall
edXavi
er,
andherepli
edaft
era
l
ongt i
me.

Xav
ier
:yes?
Me:
sor
ryar
eyoubusy
?
Xav
ier
:abi
t.
Ihear
damumbl edscr
eam i
nthebackgr
ound
andaloudsmack.

Me:
Iwi
l
lcal
lyoul
ater
.By
e.
Xav
ier
:okay
,by
e.

Ihungupandjusttr
iedtonotfreakoutthathe
wasinthepr
ocessofhur ti
ngsomeone.Idonot
wanttogeti
nvolv
edsoIwi llj
ustkeepquiet
abouti
t.Iwenttotheloungeandthereshewas
l
ookingmeanasev er.Mymom coul dnever
l
ookhappyevenifherlif
edependedoni t.

Mama:ndi
y abonaugqi
bobancuv
a(Iseey
ou
hav
ejustf
inishedusi
ngthem)
Me:
notnow.
Mama:
ndi
thi
niungat
het
hiLel
onaxaabant
wana
bam bebezi
ATM zakho!
?(WhycanInott
alk
Lel
onawhenmychi ldr
enareyourATM?)
me:nam ndi
ngumt
anawakho!(
Iam y
ourchi
l
d
al
so!
)*shout
s*

Iwasv er
yangrybecauseshealwayshadto
commentbullshi
tonanylit
tlet
hingIdi
ditwas
star
ti
ngtocreateangeri
nsideme.

Mama:
mxm.

ShelookedattheTVagain.Iwasso
heart
brokenandangryatthesamet i
me,
inmy
angerIscreamedandshel ookedatmel
ikeI
wascrazy.

Me: y
int
onii
nxaki
yakho!
?Ndenzayonkeikaka
uy
ifunayokodwauyandi
nyel
aqhozange
ndenzanixkuwekodwaundi phethekakubi
i
ngathiandi
ngowakho.(Whatisy ourprobl
em!
?
Idoeveryshity
ouwantbuty oushi tonme
ever
ytimeInev erdi
danythi
ngtoy oubutyou
tr
eatmebadl yl
ikeIam notyours.)
Mama: hewethuungandi
nxol
eli
mnandibukel
e
uRhythm City(don'
tmakenoi
sef ormeIam
watchingRhy t
hm City
)

Iwassodef eatedbecauseshewassocal m
andhereIwasr agi
ngwi thanger.If
eltsodumb
becausecl
ear l
yshewillneverl
ist
entome.And
Ireal
l
ydon'tknowhowandwhenour
rel
ati
onshi
pgott othi
spoi nt
.

mama: i
nxakiyakhouy i
bukelatoomuchi TV.
Uzotswi
naxaunomsi ndo*l
aughs*irakizininzi
kwaDani
el kodwa* cl
apshands*(yourpr oblem
i
sy ouwatchtoomuchTV.Scr eamingwheny ou
ar
eangry,ment al
l
yunst abl
epeoplear etoo
manyi
ntheDani
elf
ami
l
y.

InmyangerIwentt
othekitchent
ograbakni
fe
andwhenIwasabouttostabher,
she
screamedget
ti
ngupquickl
yandrunni
ngaway
from me.

Me:
ndi
yakucapukel
a!(
Ihat
eyou!
)*cr
ies*

Mybrother
sappear
edinthepr
ocessofme
chasi
ngher.Ki
ngqui
ckl
ytookthekni
fef
rom
me.

Ki
ng:
uphambene!
?(Ar
eyoucr
azy
!?)
me:Ihateher,
Iwantherdead.Andizohlal
a
aphamnandifunaubuyelaeKapa.Ndiniwe
nguye*cr
ieshyst
eri
cal
ly*(Iwon'
tstayhereI
wanttogobacktoCapeTown.Iam t iredofher
)
Mull
er:mamakwenzekant
oni
apha?(
Mom
what'
sgoingonher
e?)
Mama: kut
heniubuzamna!?Buzal
ent
oibuf
una
undibulal
a.(Whyareyouaski
ngme!
?Askthi
s
thi
ngt hatwantedtoki
ll
me.)
King:
stopcal
l
ingherat
hing.She'
syour
daughter
!
Mama:mxm, ungandi
xel
eli
ikakaYanga'
i
nkosi
.
(
Don'
ttel
lshi
t,Yanga'
i
nkosi.
)
Mul
l
er:
Lel
onagot
oyourr
oom.

Iwalkedtomyroom, butatt
hesamet i
meI
wantedtohearwhattheywil
lsaytoher.Ical
l
ed
Xavi
ertotakemymi ndoffal
lofthi
s.He
answeredqui
ckl
y.

Xav
ier
:baby
.
Me:
hey
..
.
Xav
ier
:you'
reokay
?
Me:y
es.Justt
houghtIshoul
dcal
lyousi
nceI
mi
ssyou.
Xavi
er:
Imi ssy
out
oo.Thehousei
sver
yqui
et
wit
houtyou.
Me:
*laughs*r
eal
l
ynow?
Xavi
er:
can'
tyoutal
ktoy
ourbr
other
sandy
ou
comebackearl
y?
Me:thewayt
hingsar
egoi
ngImi
ghtcomeback
ear
ly.
Xav
ier
:what
'sgoi
ngon?

Shit!If
orgothowcrazyhei
s.Hemi ghtev
enfl
y
overherewhenhel ear
nsIwentcrazyand
almoststabbedmymot her
.Ineverwanttobe
thatangryagain.

Xav
ier
:lel
ona.
Me:
not
hingbi
g..
.
Xav
ier
:whathappened?
Me:
Ial
mostst
abbedmymom.
Xav
ier
:what
!?
Me:
Iwasangr
yandIr
eal
l
yregr
eti
t.
Xavi
er:
youneedmet
her
e?Thi
sisget
ti
ngout
ofcont
rol
.
Me:
no!Iwi
l
lbef
ine,
baby
.Ipr
omi
se.
Xav
ier
:you'
resur
e?
Me:
yes.Nowst
opwor
ryi
ng.
~~
Aft
erthecall
.Iwasget t
inghungrysoIwal ked
tothekit
chenbutIcouldsti
llhearthem
l
ecturi
ngmom.Idi dn'
twanttoappearj ustyet
,
soIli
stenedtothem speaki
ngwi t
houtthem
knowingIwasthere.
Mull
er:dadtal
kedwi t
hy ouaboutthi
s.You
knowhermot herisdead,youagreedtonot
tr
eatheranydiff
erent
.

Wer
etheyt
alki
ngaboutme?

Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
[
02/
17,
16:
46]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT24
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Il
ookedatt
hem hur
tthatasecr
etl
i
ket
hiswas
bei
ngkeptf
rom met
hiswhol
eti
me.

Me:
akango'
mamawam?(
She'
snotmymot
her
?)
Ki
ng:
Lel
ona,
that
'snotwhatwe'
resay
ing.
..
Me:donotl
i
etome!*
shout
s*t
hatexpl
ainswhy
shehat
esmesomuch.
Mul
l
er:sheisy
ourmother.Sher
aisedy
ou,
t
her
eforeshei
syourmother.
Me:
Iwantt
hef
ull
stor
y.
Mul
l
er:
whendadget
sback.
Me:Iwantitnow!Ialr
eadyknowthebigsecr
et,
youmightaswelltel
lmetheful
ldetai
l
s.

Iwant
edt ocrybuttear
swerejustnotcoming
out
.Iwasmor eangr yt
hansad,allmylif
eIwas
l
edtobeliev
et hewomanwhoi llt
reatedmewas
mymot herbutall
alongshewasn't.
Ki
ng:
let
'
sgosi
tdown.
Mama: hambaninayeandinal
oixeshalezont
o
mna.(Gowithher,Idon'
thaveti
mef orthose
t
hings)

Iwasbr eat
hinghardwi thangerbecauseshe
sti
ll
treatsmebadl yshedoesn' tev
encarethatI
j
ustfoundoutsomet hingthatcoul
dchangemy
l
ifeforever
.Mybrot hersandIsatinthelounge.
She,thedevilmother,conti
nuedprepari
ng
supperforus.

Me:
whati
sgoi
ngon?
Mul
l
er:
you'
reourhal
f-
sist
er.
Me:
soi
'
mthebast
ardchi
l
d?
Ki
ng:
no.
Me:
Idon'
tunder
stand.Il
ooksomuchl
i
keher
.
Shewalkedi
ntheloungel
ooki
ngsadasever,
I
noti
cedshehast
inytear
s.Shewashol
ding
back.

Mama:ufananay
e,notmna(
youl
ookl
i
keher
,
notme)
Me:
Idon'
tunder
stand.
Mama: utat
awenuwebongowenzai si
qibo
sojolanewel el
am wenawabay impumo
yelonyala(yourpr
eciousfatherdeci
dedtohave
anaf fai
rwithmyt winsist
erandy ouwerethe
resultofthatbetr
ayal)
Me:
that
'swhywe'
real
i
ke.
Mama: asi
fanituu,ut
hambi lenjengaye.
Ndazamandl el
azonkeubengowam uf anenam,
kodwainyanfunekaithethwaawusoze
ubengowam-( we'r
enot hi
ngalike,you'
resoft
j
ustli
keher.Itri
edever yt
hingforyoutobemi ne
tobeli
kemebutt hetruthmustbet ol
dy ouwi
ll
nev
erbemi
ne)
Mul
l
er:
mama!
.
.
-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Il
aidonthedoctor
'sbedf eel
i
ngdefeat ed.Ikept
vomit
ingandnotfeel
inggood,atf i
rstIthought
i
twast heal
coholbutthenitwentonf orday s.
SonowI '
minthedoctor'soff
ice.

Doc:well
theresul
tsar
einandi
tiswhatI
expect
editt
obe.
Me:
whati
sthat
?
Doct
or:
youar
epr
egnant
.Congr
atul
ati
ons
*
smi
l
es*
Me:
what
?!

Whathesai dnextIcoul
dnotev enli
stento.I
keptrepl
ayi
ngthewor ds"youar epregnant"
fuck!Iam onl
ydoingmyf irstyearinvarsi
ty.
Patri
ckneedstogivememoneyf oranabor t
ion.
Ican'
thaveababy ,Iam st
il
l ababy.

Me:doctor
!Idon'
tcar
eaboutany
thi
ngel
se.I
wanttoabort
.
Doc:comeback, nextweek.Youneedtor et
hink
thi
s.Ababyisabl essi
ng,i
tbri
ngsloveback
i
ntoar el
ati
onshipandevenifyoudonothav e
anyoneyouwillalwayshaveyourchi
l
d'slove.
~~
Iarr
ivedhomewit
hasadf ace.Noonewill
want
mewhenIhav eababy.Ievenwantedmore
sugardaddi
esbutnowtheywon'tevenl
ookmy
way.ImissKhanyi
,rightnowshewoul d'
vet
old
mewhatt odo.Ical
l
edZeeev ent
houghIdon't
l
ikeher
,Ineedsomegi rladv
iceri
ghtnow.

Zee:
chommi
e(f
ri
end)
Me:
Ihav
eabi
gpr
obl
em.
Zee:
tal
ktome,
babe.
Me:
Iam pr
egnant
.*cr
ies*
Zee:
what
!?How?
Me:
Isl
eptwi
thsomeone,
idi
ot.
Zee:Iknowhow,buthowcoul
dyoubeso
stupi
d?Youthi
nkRell
ikwi
ll
wantsomeonewi
th
somebaggage?
Me:Ineedtoabortt
hebabyf
ast
.Theonl
ybaby
Iwi
l
l keepi
shis.
Zee:
that
'sr
ight
!
Me:
duhh
Zee:
Ihav
eapl
an,
fool
.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Zee:
Ireadbabi
esbr
ingcoupl
escl
oser
.
Me:
sowhat
?
Zee:
pint
hebabyonRel
l
ik?
Me:Idi
dn'
tevengetachancet
osl
eepwi
thhi
m.
Thi
sisadi
saster
.
Zee:heisgoingoutt
onightIt
hink,
Isawiton
Cardo'
sstatussomethi
ngaboutaspinni
ng
show.Wewi llbet
here,
drughim.Driv
ehi
mt o
yourpl
ace,getthej
obdone.
Me:Ican'
tsl
eepwi
thhi
m dr
ugged,
wil
lhi
sthi
ng
ev
enstand?
Zee:wow,you'
redumberthanit
hought.You
wil
ltakepi
ctur
esofyouguysbothnaked.He
won'tknowyoudidn'
tsl
eepwit
hhim,youwil
l
pi
nthebabyonhim.
Me:
hewi
l
lki
l
lme.
Zee:y
ouwil
ltel
lhi
mify
ougethur
tthepi
ctur
es
wil
ll
eak.
Me:Iwil
lbet
heoneembar
rassed!Bei
nga
por
nstarf
oraman.
Zee:
theywon'tleak,bit
ch!*annoy ed*youthink
hewouldjeopar
di sehisrel
ationshipwithLona
l
iket
hat?Hewi l
l star
ttreat
ingy oulikeagolden
eyej
ustforthenewsnott oleak.
Me:thati
sagr
eati
dea!Letmel
ookf
oran
out
fi
t.
Zee:
andIwil
lgetacarf
orus.Let
'
shopet
his
pl
anworks.
Me:
met
oo,t
hankszee.

Webot hhungup.Iam st arti

ngtothi
nkIwil
l
l
ikethisZee.Isearchedmydr awersf
oran
outfi
tandIf oundablackcroptopwithsome
shortski
rtthatwashigh-waist
edandsome
blackheels.Iti
edmyhairupandi twascurl
yin
mypony tai
l.Iappl
iedmakeupandst ar
ted
prepari
ngforthemessIam aboutt ocreat
e.I
l
ookedar oundthehousef orthedr ugsIwill
need.IsmiledwhenIfinall
yf oundt hem.Lel
ona
i
snotgoi ngtostayaft
erthis, Iknowhowweak
sheis.Andbecauseoft hat,Iwi l
lal
way shave
theupperhandt hanher.
.
.
-
-ISI
PHO'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Ilookedatt hem goi ngtoherroom tocomf or
t
herlikesomeonewasdy i
ng.Lelonashoul dbe
grateful Ididn'
tkillherli
keIkil
l
edt hatbitchI
call
edasi ster.Sisiphowasalway smor e
popul arthanmeev enwhenwewer eidenti
cal
twins, peopl epreferredhert
hanmebecauseI
wasal way ssomean.Iwashappywhenher
crushappr oachedi nbackwhenwewer e
younger ,butitseemedast houghhewast rying
togethert hr
oughme.If eltbet rayedandangr y,
that'
swhent hehat redIf eltforherst artedt o
getcreated.Ast i
mewentby ,inourv arsit
y
yearsIhadaboy fri
endwhom i smyhusband
now.Myhusbandal sot ookal ikingtomyt wi n,
andIj ustlostitwhenhet oldmet hebabyshe
wascar ryingwashi s.Iplannedf orhert oget
robbedandshott odeat hi nhersmal lhouse.I
knowIwaswr ongforki ll
i
ngherbutt heanger
i
nsideofmer eall
ydi dnotcar e.Iwas
heartbrokenwhenIl earnedt hebabysur vived
theshotandmur deri nhermot her'sstomach.
Wej ustgotacal lsay i
ngmysi sterisdeadand
thebabywasi nthehospi t
al.I twasshocki ngt o
myhusbandbutnott ome.Whatwasshocki ng
tomewhatt hatherbodywassai dt obedead
butInev ersawherdeadbody .Inev err eal
ly
caredabouti tbecausedeepi nsideIdi df eel l
ike
shewasdead.Whatmyhusbandaskedmet o
do18y earsagowasahar dchallengeforme.
Tor ai
set hechildthatcamef r
om y our
husband' sinf
ideli
tywit
hy oursi
ster!Icouldn'
t
treatLonat hesame, Ij
ustcouldn'tbecauseshe
hadal lthequali
tiesshehad.Thesmi l
eand
funnyper sonali
typeoplel
ov edsomuch.

Ki
ng:
mama.
Me:
khandi
yekeYanga(
leav
emeal
oney
anga)
Ki
ng:umsul
wakuy
oyonkel
ent
o(she'
sinnocent
i
nall
ofthi
s)
Me: qhoxandimj onga,ndikhumbulal
atl
ungu
nday i
vangokuuy ihl
oway exokangobusuku
ephumakodwaul alanodadewet hu.(
everyt
ime
Ilookather,Iremembert hepainIfel
twhen
yourfatherl
iedaboutnightoutsonlytobe
sleepingwit
hmysi st
er)
King:okay,ndi
yayi
qondaut
ataeber
ongo
ngokuthikhuli
saumntanai
ngat
hingowakho
abeeyazii
ntl
unguezay i
zi
sa.Kodwawena
umhlukumezaakuzolungisani x.Ixesha
ali
zobuyel
a.(okay,
Iunder standdadwas
wrongforsayi
ngyoushoul dr aiset hechil
dlike
yourownknowingthepai nthati tmi ghtbr
ing.
Butyouabusi
ngherlikethiswon' tfixanyt
hing.
Timewon'tgoback.)
Me:ndi
yayazi,kodwandi
cel
aintoey
1(Iknow
butIam onl
yaskingf
oronethi
ng(
Ki
ng:
yint
oni
ley
o?(whati
sit
?)
Me:andif
uni
abel aphandiniwekukhul
i
sa
umntanakaSisiphomna.( Idon'
twantherher
e
Iam t
ir
edofraisingSisi
pho'schi
ld.
)
Ki
ng:mamauyagul
a!?Uzoy
aphi?(mom ar
eyou
cr
azy
!?Wher
eisshegoingtogo?)
Mama:andi
khathel
elangamakahambe(
Idon'
t
car
eIwanthergone)
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Iwascr yinginmybedandMul lerwasj ust
tryi
ngtocomf ortme.Iwant edt ogett hehel l
outofher e.Ifeelli
keev erythingi sabi gf atlie
here.Howcoul dInotr eali
zet his!?Thi siswhy
shehat edmesomuchbecauseIr emi ndherso
muchofherhusband' sbet rayal.If eel aslight
badbecauseshei sast rongwoman.Tor aise
thechil
dwhowi l
lremindy oueachdayoft he
ti
mest oy ourhusbandcheat edony ouwi llyour
sist
er.Notj ustanysister.At wi n!Iwoul dgo
crazytoo, buttomyhusbandnott heinnocent
chil
dwhonev eraskedf orany thing.BecauseI
didnotf orcemydadandhersi st ertohav esex
noranaf fair.
Me:
Iwantt
ogobackt
oCapeTown.
Mull
er:
Idon'
twantyoutogobecauseshe'
s
f
orci
ngy out
ogo.Don'
tl
etpeoplecont
roly
ou
l
iket
hat.
Me:
whatshoul
dIdo?Stay
!?Cl
earl
yshehates
me,
Icannotbel
iev
eyouguyskeptt
hisf
rom
me.
Mul
l
er:
youwer
etooy
oungt
ounder
stand.
Me:
youshoul
d'
vet
oldmeassoonasIwas16!
Muller
:youareav ul
nerabl
eandweakchil
d.
Youbeingsensit
ive,wewer eaf
rai
dabigsecr
et
l
ikethi
swoul dbreakyou.Youreact
edbett
er
thanwet hought
.
Me:
nextt
ime,
tel
lme.HowIwi
l
lreactwi
l
lbeup
t
ome!

Thatwast
hel
amestexcuseofnott
ell
i
ngme,
butIdeci
dednott
opr
essoni
ttoomuch.
~~
Icouldnotsl eepatal l,
thet imewas8: 43pm
andIwant edt ocal lXavier,buthedidn'tanswer
hisphone.Iwentr oWhat sAppandt hest atus
onCar do'sst atusest oldmeXav i
erwasr eally
busy.Hel ookedl i
kehewasi napartyhol dinga
cup,i
twasagr oupphot obutIwasonl y
concentratingonmyboy fri
endwhoi sn't
answer i
nghi sphonebuthei sbusywi t
hpar ti
es.
Icannotbeangr ybecausehei saman, he
deservest ohav efun,butIwant edtot alkt ohim
abouthowcr azymyl i
feis,andhedeci dest o
notanswert hephone! ?That '
sfuckedup.
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Scr
appy:
thi
slaai
ti
ehasbeenwhi
ppedev
er
si
ncehehasbeenwit
hher.
Me:
hoej
oubek!(
Shutup)
Cardo:
theyarebot
hwhipped.Lonaisannoyi
ng
thehel
loutofmewitht
hoselovestatues.
Me:l
oosmymei
sieal
l
een.(
Leav
emygi
rl
al
one)

Thegent sstartedlaughing.Wewer ehanging

out,i
nthespi nningshow.I twasj ustme,
Scrappy,Cardo, JR,OG,Shoot erandWi z.They
weretalki
ngaboutmebei ngwhi ppedbecause
ofLona.Idon' tevenwantt olie,butIdon' twant
toadmi ti
teither.Afterawhi l
et hef unstart
ed
andIwasget ti
ngv erydrunk.Meandt hegents
werereallyenjoyingourselves.IsawKay laand
herfri
endZi khonaandi nstantlyIwasannoy ed.
Wiz:
nasi
s'
fi
j
osi
kaScr
appy(
her
e'sScr
appy
's
hoe)

Theycamet ousandIwast oodr

unktoev en
payatt
enti
ontothem.Zi khonasmil
edfir
st
whil
eKaylawaseye-fuckingme.Igotannoyed
andconti
nuedtal
kingwit hOG.

OG:ingathi
lemedii
bekewena*chuckl
es*
(
looksliket
hegir
lischecki
ngy
ouout )
Me:
Idon'
tcar
eabouther
.
.
.
-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Hel ookedsohotwear ingabl ackt -shi
rtwith
blue&y ell
owsweat pantsandsomesneaker s.
Hel ookedsosexyIwant edtof uckhi mr i
ght
there!Iwasn'tevenpayinganyat tent i
ont o
Scrappybecausehesai dhedi dn'tanythingto
dowi thmesoIwantnot hi
ngmor et odowi th
him.Af t
ergreeti
ngtheguy s,
meandZi khona
walkedaf arawayf r
om t hem.

Me:Ibr
oughteyedropsmedici
ne,
Iheardit
makespeoplesl
eepy.Andi
twil
lworkfast
.He
i
salr
eadydrunk.
Zee:
okay,l
et'
sdothis.Iwi
l
lmixupadr
inkwi
th
adashofashotthenyouwil
laddt
heey
edrops
andgiv
eitt
ohim.
Me:
hewi
l
lnev
ert
akei
t.
Zee:Iwi
llaskt
ot alkt
ohim andyouwi
l
lcome
aski
ngforanyt
hingf r
om methanmakesmal
l
tal
kandgivehi
mt hedri
nk!
Me:
okaycool
.

Isawhersway i
ngherhi pst owar dst heguy s'
cars.Theymadet heirownci r
clewi t hthei
rcars.
Shest oodnextt ohim andwhi sper edinhi sear
si
ncet hecarswer etool oud.Hegotupandshe
heldhi shandandwal kedwi thher .Theboy s
startedlaughingandhy pinghim up.Lonawi l
l
nev erbeablet ocont rol him,heisamanwhor e.
Hedi dnotev ent hinkaboutherhej ustheldher
hand.Iqui ckl
yt ookpl ent yofpicturesoft hem
andIwat chedthem t alkt henIslowl ywalked
overt othem.Imadesur eIhad3cupssohe
doesn'tsuspectany t
hi ngwhenj ustgi vehimt he
drink

Me:Zeewher
e'st
hephone?Ineedt
ocal
lour
t
ranspor
t.
Shegavemet hephone,Igav
ehert
hecupandI
off
eredRell
i
kthedruggeddri
nki
nacup.He
j
ustlookedati
tandlookedatme.

Me:l
ook, Iam nottr
yinganyt
hing.Ir
especty
our
r
elat
ionshipswithothergi
rl
-
Rel
l
ik:
oner
elat
ionshi
pwi
thLona.Onl
yher
.

Iwasshockedt hatt
heyarealreadydati
ng!I
thoughttheywerefr
iendsandnotsomet hi
ng
mor e.Myheartwasbrokenthat,thatbi
tchhas
him befor
eme.ButIdon'tcare,Icantakehim.

Me:Iwon'tt
ryanyt
hing,Ir
especty
our
r
elat
ionshi
pwithLel
ona.

Henoddedandtookt
hecup,hecoul
dn'tev
en
st
andproper
lyt
hatmuchbuthesti
ll
tookthe
cup.

Zee:
Igotsomeweedint
hecarwecamewi
th.
Wecantal
kproper
lyt
her
e.
Me:
whatar
eyouguy
stal
ki
ngabout
?
Zee:myfl
ingi
sagangmemberinj
ailandhe
mighthav
eandproposi
ti
onf
orRel
l
ik.Itwi
l
l
makemoneyforhim.
Rel
l
ik:
azi
she(
let
'sgo.
)

Wewentt othet ransportandhedi dn'teven

not i
ceIdidn'tev encal l
thetransport.Wewent
tot hecar, i
twasoneofZee' sf l
ings.Relli
kwas
drinkinghiscup, andwhenwewer einside,Zee
startedsmoki ngthej oi
nt.Ismi l
edlookingat
him dr i
nkinghi sdrinkgetti
ngv erydrunkandt he
weedwi llfi
nishhi m off
.Shepassedt hejointt
o
me, Ipuff
edt wicet henpassedi ttohim.He
coul dn'
tev enpuf fproperl
yhewasv eryt i
red.I
smil
edashepassedi
ttoZee,
theni
twasl
i
ght
s
outf
orhi
m.

Zee:
Iwi
l
lcal
lMzo.Wewi
l
lneedhi
m*chuckl
es*

Mzowast het ransportguy,andIcoul

dn'tstop
ki
ssingRel li
kev enthoughhewassl eepi
ngand
notkissingmeback.Hi slipsweresoft
,Ijust
wishhewoul dki ssmeback.MzoandZee
cameback, andIhadt ocoverRel
li
k'
sfacewi t
h
someshadesbecausei fMzosawwhoi twas
hewoul dn'twantt ohelpus.Almosteveryoneis
scaredofRel li
khewoul d'
vebeenshitscared.

Mzo:
kuy
ini
lokhu?(
Whati
sthi
s?)
Me:j
ustoneofmyfl
ingsIsawher
e.Iam t
aki
ng
hi
m backtomypl
ace.
Mzo:ungangi
faki
eki
ngeni
(don'
tputmei
n
t
roubl
e)
Me:
nev
er.Let
'sj
ustgo.

Hedr oveofftomyapar tmentfast.Whenwe

gotthere,
Zeehel pedmegetRel li
kinmy
apartment.Itwasv er
yhardandMzodr oveoff
wit
houtev enhelpingus.Ir
oll
edmyey es
thi
nkingabouthowmuchofapussyhei s.We
l
aidhim onmybedandIsmi l
edather .Thepl
an
actuall
yworked.

Zee:
let
'sgethi
m nakedIwi
l
lchar
gemyphone
i
nthemeantime.

Igri
nnednodding,Ist
art
edbytaki
ngoffhi
st -
shir
t,anddamnwasIi naweathowbeautiful
he
l
ooked.Thetattoosandbodyj
ustsentmeov er
theedge.ZeecamebackandIr emovedhis
pantsandboxers.Ibi
tmyli
plookingathi
sdick.
Zee:
damn.You'
rel
uckybi
tch!
Me:
Iknow*
smi
rks*

Itookoffmycl
othesandIwasnakedtoo.Zee
tookoffhi
ssneaker
sandtookacondom from
mydr awer
.Il
ookedatherwei
rdl
y.

Zee: Ihavesomespermsi nabot t

leinsi
demy
purse, wewill
stret
chthecondom wi t
hhisdick
thenpourt hespermsin.Aft
erthat,wetake
pictures.i
twillmakehimthinkyouguy sreal
ly
slepttogether
.

Ilaughedhappil
yathowsmar tsheis!Thenwe
didwhatshesaidt henshethr
ewt hedirt
y
condom onthef l
oorsoitcanbethef i
rstthi
ng
heseeswhenhewakesup.Igotont opofhi m
andmadei tlookli
keIwasr i
dinghim andshe
tookthepict
ures.
Zee:
hel
ooksdr
ugged.Hi
dehi
sfacebyki
ssi
ng
hi
m.
Me:okay,andIneedtot
akesel
fi
epi
ctur
essoi
t
doesn'
tl
ookplanned.
Zee:
her
e'st
hephone.

Itookitandtookpi
ctur
esofuski
ssi
ng,wel
lme
kissi
nghim.Andmecuddlingwi
thhi
m.Ilai
don
him andplacedhi
shandsonmyassthenItook
thepictur
esofit
.

Zee:okay
,nowsendthepi
ctur
esanddon' tt
ell
hi
my ouhavesentt
hem t
ome.Sl eep,cuddl
i
ng
wit
hhim andt
heplanwil
lworkit
selfout.

Ismi
l
edandgotupt
ohugher
.
Me:
thanky
ou,
Zee.
.
.
.
.
.
.
out
fi
tst
heywor
e
[
02/
17,
16:
46]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT25
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwokeupwi t
hthemostpainfulheadacheever.
Fuck!Ihatehungover.Il
ookedar oundandI
didn'
trecogni
zetheti
nyroom.Il ookedatthe
girl
cuddli
ngonmychest ,andIwasangr yas
fuckwhenIsawi twasKay l
a!Ipushedheroff
sohard,shewokeupal mostfall
ingoffthebed.

Me:
whatt
hef
ucki
sgoi
ngon!
?
Kay
la:
Ithi
nky
ou'
resmar
tert
hant
hat
.*smi
rks*
Me:
Iwi
l
lfucki
ng-
Kayl
a:kil
lme?* chuckl
es*andri
skLonaseei
ng
ourbeauti
ful
picturesontheamazi
ngsexwe
had.
Me:ifsheev
erhearsaboutt
hisIwi
l
lbr
eaky
our
neckwithmyhands!

Ir
ushedt
ost
rangl
eher
,butshequi
ckl
yranout
oftheroom.Shel
ockedt
hedoorquickl
yand
shestart
edshout
ingont
heot
hersideofthe
door.

Kayla:
Isentthephot
ostoalotofpeopleandif
somethinghappenst
ome.Thepi ctur
eswil
l
reachLona.SoIwouldbecar
efulifIwer
ey ou.

I
nmyangerIhi tthedoor ,Ihear dhersqueal i
n
fear.WhythefuckwasIsost upi d!
?Ilookedat
theusedcondom andIwasabi trel
ievedwe
usedacondom.Ist art
edwear ingmycl ot
hes,
disappoi
ntedthatIwoul dgetsl oppydr unktoa
pointwhereIwoul dfuckKay la,theper sonthat
hatesmegi rl
fr
iendsomuch.Ihav egivenhera
reasontohurtLona.Kay lawal kedi n,shepicked
upt hecondom andsmi led.

Kay
la:
oner
oundwi
tht
hecondom t
hent
her
est
wasr
aw,
IknewIl
i
kedy
ouf
orar
easonRel
l
ik.

Shetri
edtokissme,Isl
appedhersohar
dshe
l
andedont hefl
oor
,Iwasabouttoki
ckheron
herback.

Kayal
:st
op!Orel
seLonawon'
tev
ert
alkt
oyou
agai
n.

Isear
chedformyphoneandstormedoutt he
houseinanger
.Il
ookedatLona'smissedcal
l
andguil
tatemeup.Ical
l
edScr appytocome
getme.

Scr
appy
:nj
ayegame.
Me:
comegetmeaty
ourwhor
e'sapar
tment
.
Scr
appy:
what
?
Me:
Kay
la.
IhungupbecauseIwasn'tint
hemoodfor
questi
ons.After45minut
esofmeimpati
entl
y
wait
ingther
e,hefinal
l
ycame.Igoti
nthecari
n
anger.

Me:
whatt
hef
uckt
ooky
ousol
ong!
?
Scr
appy
:yo,Idi
dn'
ttel
lyout
ofuckher
.
Me:
Ifuckedherr
awaf
terr
ound1*
sighs*f
uck!
Scr
appy:
let
'sgogety
ourcart
henwecant
hink
ofapl
anlat
er.

Wedrovetothespotandmycarwasst il
lthere
unt
ouched.Maybebecausethenumberplate
waswrit
ten"RELLI
K"andeveryoneknewnott o
messwithme, mycarhasatrackerany
way .

Me:
let
'smeeti
nmyhouse.
Scr
appy
:fede(
shar
p)

Wer acedtomyhouse, andhewonbecausehe

wasi nfr
ontofme.Whenwegoti nmydr iveway
hegotoutfirstandIfol
lowed.I
nsidethehouse,
therewasnooneandt hatmadememi ssLona.
FuckIshouldn'thav
eev enwenttothatstupi
d
spinni
ngshit.

Scr
appy
:nowexpl
aint
omewhathappened?
Me:Igotsl
oppydrunk,
start
edsmoki ngweed
wit
hthem andthat
'swhenli
ghtswereoutI
don'
tevenrememberanythi
ngelse.Appar
entl
y
wehadsexandaf t
eroneroundIhititr
aw,br
o
Scr
appy
:shi
t.You'
rei
ndeepshi
t.
Me:
Iknow.
Scr
appy
:ki
l
lher
.
Me:
ifsomet
hinghappenst
oher
,thepi
ctur
es
wi
l
lgot
oLona.
Scr
appy
:she'
ssmar
tert
hanshel
ooks.
Me:Ican'
thav
eherr
uini
ngmyr
elat
ionshi
pwi
th
Lona.
Scr
appy
:Iwil
ltr
yandmani
pul
ateheri
ntot
ell
i
ng
mewhatshewants.
Me:
thanksman.

Iwalkedhi m outandIwentt omybat hroom to

shower .ThenIwor ewhi
tet-shi
rtwithli
ght
brownsweat pants.Iwor
emyGucci sl
ides.I
decidedt omanupandcal lLona.Shedi dn't
answeratf ir
st,andmyhear tstart
edbeat ing
fastbecauseIwaswor ri
edt hatsheknows
alr
eadyandi ttookmeamont htogether .I
can'tloseherthateasil
y.Icall
edheragai n
worriedthatmay besomethi
ngmi ghthav e
happenedt oher .Shefi
nall
yanswer edaf termy
3rdtry
Lona:
yes?
Me:watgaanaan?Hoekom hetj
yni
ejouphone
beant
woordnie?(
What'sgoi
ngon?Whyweren'
t
youanswer
ingyourphone?)
Lona:
Iwasbusy
.Wher
ehav
eyoubeen?
Me:besi
gmetwat
?Isj
yOK?(
Busywi
thwhat
?
Ar
ey ouokay
?)
Lona:Iam okay
.Ij
ustf
oundoutsomet
hingbi
g
though.
Me:
what
?
Lona:
mymom i
sn'
treal
l
ymymom.
Me:
wai
twhat
?
Lona:shehasatwinandthet
wini
smyr
eal
mother,butshei
sdead.
Me:
what
!?
That
'swhenev er
ythi
ngcameback.Ihavet
o
cal
lFif
itosetupameeting,Ineedt
otal
ktothi
s
twi
n.Befor
eIletLonameetherIneedtomake
sur
ehermot i
vesareokay.

Lona:yeahIknow,i
t'
scr
azy.ButIam r
eturni
ng
backhomet omorr
ow.Idon'tev
enwantt ostay
i
nt hi
shouse.
Me:
soy
ou'
recomi
ngback?
Lona:
yes,
isn'
tthatwhaty
ouwant
ed?
Me:iti
s,andiam v
eryhappy
.Can'
twai
ttosee
youbeauti
ful
.
Lona:
seey
out
hen,
Ihav
etopack.
Me:
okay
,by
e.
Lona:
bye.

Ismil
eddroppi
ngt hecal
l
.Shesentmeasel
fi
e
ofherl
ookingeversobeaut
if
ul.Ibi
tmyl
i
p
wi
shi
ngshewasnexttomesoIcanki
ssthe
f
uckoutofher
.It
ext
edherr
epl
yi
ngtothesel
fi
e.

Me:damn! t
het
hingsI
woul
ddoifyouwer
enear
.

IthadoneticksoIknewshewasof fline.I
postedherselfi
ewi t
hthecapti
on."wi fe. "
andIknewt hehoeswouldstartcr
yingabout
whoshei s,soIturnedoffmymobi l
edat a.I
l
ookedf ormyRangeRov erkey
sanddr ov et
o
myuncl e'
shouse.WhenIwast her
e, he
answeredthedoorshocki ngmebecause
usuall
yFifianswers.

me:
ekmoetmett
anni
eFi
fipr
aat
.(Ineedt
otal
k
t
oauntFi
fi
)
Ghost
:watgaanaan?(
What
'sgoi
ngon?
)
Me:
niksgr
ootni
e.Ekwi
lmeerweetoorSi
sipho.
(Nothi
ngmaj
or.Iwantt
oknowmor
eabout
Sisi
pho)
Ghost
:syi
sinonskamer(
shei
sinourr
oom)

wewal kedtogethert
her e,andIsawauntFifi
l
ookingv er
ysickont hebed.Iwaswor ri
ed
becausesheisnev erthesi ckt
ype.Sheusual
ly
fal
lssi
ckl i
keonceay ear.

Me:
arey
ouokay
?*wor
ri
ed*
Fi
fi
:yes*
smi
l
es*Iwi
l
lbef
inej
ustami
norf
lu.

Icoul
dsenseshewasly
ingbecauseshel
ooked
atGhostandt
heybot
hhadsadf acesont
hem.

Me:Iknowyou'
rel
yi
ngbutitwon'tpr
essoni
t.I
needtoknowmoreaboutSi
sipho.
Fi
fi
:why
?
Me: Ijustf
oundoutsheisLona'smotherand
everyoneinthatf
amil
ythinksshe'
sdead.But
she'snotdead,Isawhertheotherdayi
nt he
yard.
Fi
fi
:she'scomingov
erforl
unchtomorr
ow.
That
'stheonlyti
meshehaslef
tinCapeTown.
Me:
wher
edoesshel
i
ve?
Fi
fi
:shel
i
vesi
nLondonper
manent
ly.
Me:
inLondon?Whatwasshedoi
ngher
ethen?
Fi
fi:shewasher
eonabusi
nesstr
ip.Andshe
missedmesoshecametovisi
tme.Nothi
ng
spectacul
ar.
Me:
Iwi
l
lbet
her
efort
hel
uncht
omor
row.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
IpackedmybelongingsbecauseIwant edto
getthehel
loutofher e.Iknowshewantsme
outsoIwil
lgrantherwi sh.Iknowmybr ot
hers
wil
lnotwantmet ogobutIam t i
redoffi
ghti
ng
backandfort
hwi t
ht heirmother.

Ki
ng:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:packi
ng.Iam l
eavingt
omorrow.Youcan'
t
st
opme, Ihaveal
readybookedmyfl
ight
.
Ki
ng:
wewanty
out
ost
ayt
hough.
Me:Idon'
twantto.Notaf
terIhear
dthatbi
tch
i
sn'
tmymot her
.
King:butsheismymot
herandy
oushoul
d
respecther.
Me:
sor
ry.
King:maybeitisbestyougot oCapeTownt o
getsomebr eaktheninJuney ouwil
lspendthe
holi
daysoverheretomendi ssueswithher
.All
youneedist i
me.
Me:
yes.Thanky
ouf
orunder
standi
ng.
Ki
ng:
youl
eav
eatni
ghtorear
lyi
nthemor
ning?
Me:ear
lyi
nthemor
ningt
omor
row.Youwi
l
l
dr
ivemether
eri
ght
?
Ki
ng:yes.Mul
lermi
ghtbet
her
easwel
lorhe
wi
llbebusycomfor
ti
ngmom.
Me:
isshest
il
lcr
ying?

Iam t
heweakonebutshei
sst
il
lcr
ying?OK.

King:thi
sisahar dsi
tuat
ionforherandt
he
secretbeingexposedisopeningol
dwoundsf
or
her.
Me:
mhh.
Ki
ng:
*chuckl
es*whendi
dyougett
hismean?
Me:ev
ersi
nceIst
art
edhangi
ngoutwi
thXav
...
Car
do.
Iqui
ckl
ychangedmysent encebecauseIfor
got
Ihav
en'
ttol
dthem Iam hangingoutwit
hXav i
er.
Ihav
en'
teventol
dthem Iam dati
ngXav i
er.

Ki
ng:
what
?
Me:
eversi
nceIst
art
edhangi
ngoutwi
thCar
do.

HenoddedbutIf eltl
ikeheknewIwasl y
ingand
hewasn'tgoingt osaymuchabouti t.Heleftmy
room wit
houtsay ingawor dandIwasso
scaredIfeell
ikeIam bust ed!Ipackedmyst uf
f
quickl
yandpacedupanddownt her oom
thi
nkingofalietosaywhent heyaskmeabout
i
t.Myphoner ang,andi twasXavier.Hemust
missmet ocallmet wiceadayandi thasn'
t
evenbeen3pm y et.

Me:
baby
?
Xav
ier
:youshoul
danswert
hephonel
i
ket
hatt
o
meeveryt
imeIcall
.
Me:
*chuckl
es*someonemi
ssesmeal
ot.
Xav
ier
:mor
ethany
oucani
magi
ne.
Me:Iwil
lbetherebef
orey
ouknowi
t.Myf
li
ght
i
sinthemorning.
Xav
ier
:Fi
fiwant
stohav
elunchwi
thy
ou.
Me:
real
l
y?*
exci
ted*can'
twai
t.
Xav
ier
:Iknowy
oucan'
t.Baby
?
Me:
mhhmhh?
Xav
ier
:Il
ovey
ou.
Me:
what
?

Iwasv eryshocked.Wehav en'tbeendatingfor

thatlongandalreadyhesay s"Il
ov eyou"may be
i
t'sbecauseofthedistanceormay behewas
sayingitt
osomeoneel se?Isoundsost upid
becauseIcannotbel i
ev eaguyl i
keXav i
erreall
y
l
ovesagi
rll
i
keme.

Xavi
er:Iwantyout oknowIlovey ou,andI
wouldneverhurtyou,int
ent
ionall
y.Withoutyou,
Iwouldn'
tsurv
ive.Trustme.You'retherighti
n
al
lmywr ongs,l
osingy ouwil
lbelosingmyhear t
.
Iwouldn'
tbethesame.Iwoul dgobackt othe
monsterIwasbef oreyouwerethel i
ghtinthe
dar
knessthatconsumedmyl if
e.

RightnowIwasget
ti
ngemot i
onalandworri
ed
thathewasgoi
ngtodie.Heneverexpr
esses
hisemoti
onsandwhenhetoldmet hi
sitr
eall
y
touchedmyhear
t.

Me: baby
,what'
sgoi
ngon?Areyouokay?
Pleasedon'
tdoanyt
hingt
hatwi
l
l puty
ourli
feat
ri
sk.
Xav
ier
:ev
ery
thi
ngi
sokay
.
Me:
youpr
omi
se?

Hegotqui
et,
andbreat
hed.Iwasscaredt
hathe
wasi
ndanger.Myheartst
art
edbeati
ngfast
.

Me:
Xav
ier
,you'
rescar
ingme
Xav
ier
:Ipr
omi
se.Ev
ery
thi
ngi
sokay
.
Me:
Ihopeso
Xav
ier
:Ihav
etogonow,Iwi
l
lcal
lyouatni
ght
.
Me:
okay
,andZay
?
Xav
ier
:yeah?
Me:
you'
l
lnev
erl
oseme.Il
ovey
out
oo.
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*by
e.
Me:
bye.

Webot
hhungupandIwishedhewasnextto
mesoIcoul
dki
sshi
m becauseIr
eal
lydolove
him.Iknowf oraguylikehimt ol oseallhi
s
hoesforme, andtogosuchal ongt i
mewi t
hout
sexandgirl
s.Hei ssacri
f i
cingal otforme
becausealotofgirl
sar ewi l
li
ngt ojumpatt he
opport
unit
yt ohavehim, yethe...hechoseme!I
wipedmyt earsandsmi ledatmy sel
finthe
mirr
or.

Me:
Iam i
nlov
e.
.
.
.
-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Zeesatont
hecouchandIsmil
edather
.Shei
s
ther
easonmypl
anisactual
l
yworki
ng!
Me:weneedt osendthepict
urest
oother
peopl
eincasehekil
l
st hebot
hofus.
Zee:
doesheknowhewasdr
ugged?
Me:Idon'
tthi
nkso,hethi
nkswer
eal
l
yhadsex
andaft
erthefi
rstr
oundwewentr
aw.
Zee:
aft
ery
oupint
hepregnancyonhi
m,whati
f
hewant
syout
oabort
?
Me:Ineedtogoawayforawhil
eandcome
backwhenIam 5monthspr
egnantanditwi
l
l
behardformetoabor
t.I
twil
lbeil
l
egal
.
Zee:sorr
ytobursty
ourbubbl
ebut
..
.hedoesn'
t
careaboutt
helaw.
Me:
shewi
l
l.Andwhenshecar
es.Hewi
l
lcar
e
t
oo.
Zee:
whataboutPat
ri
ck?
Me:Iwil
ltel
lhi
mtof
indanot
herbi
tch.Ial
ready
am setf
orli
fe.
Ismil
edr
ubbingmygr
owi
ngbabybump.Thi
s
babyi
sgoingtot
akemet
opl
aces.
~~
Itwast henextdayandaf t
ermymor ning
rout i
neIchangedi ntomypi nkcr opt opwi th
bluej eansandl i
ghtbrownf akenosl eevef ur .I
wor emyFent yPumawhi tesneaker s.Iflat
i
r onedmyweav esoitcanbest raight .Ismi led
thinkingabouthowal lofthi
sisgoi ngi nmy
favour .Iatesomebr eakfastwhi l
escr oll
ing
throughmyWhat sApp.Mywhol emood
changedwhenIsawt hepicturehepost edof
her .Iroll
edmyey es,whenhecoul dhav eal lof
this.Hest il
l wantsabor ingbitchlikeherwho
can' tevengoadaywi thoutcryingherugl yface
of f
.Shedoesn' tdeservehim, shedoesn' tev en
deser velif
ebecauseshe' salway scompl ains
abouthowi tdoesn'tgoi nherf avour .Lifei sn't
fairandsheshoul dgetusedt oi t
.Meont he
otherhand,lif
ehasal way sbeenunfairt
ome
andIdeserv ethisbreak!Imadeadeci si
onto
dropoutofVar sityeventhoughIhav egood
gradesbutIknowi twil
lnottakemeany where.I
don'tevenli
ket hecourseIam in,andIfeell
ike
Xavierwil
ltakecar eofme, andthebaby.In
angerItookmypur seandl ef
t.Thepostreal
ly
rui
nedmymood.It ookascr eenshotandsentit
toZee.

Me:t
hisbi
tchhashi
m whi
pped,
henev
erpost
s
hi
shoes.
Zee : don'
twor
ry,
aft
eral
loft
his.Hewi
l
lbe
your
s!

Ismi l
edbecausesheal wayshadgoodwor ds.I
can'tbeli
eveIdi
dn'tl
ikeheratfi
rst,
sheisa
greatgirl
!Andanamazi ngfri
end.Ididn'
twant
totellherXavi
ermightkil
lheraft
erhef i
ndsout
shehast hepict
ures.Forsafet
ypurposesIhave
togetthephot ospri
ntedoutsoIcanthreaten
him bett
er.Imetupwi thPar
ti
ckatTasha's.He
l
ookedpar anoidmeetingupwithmei npublic
becauseweal way smeetinhotel
sormy
apartment.Aft
erIsatdown,hegl ar
edatme.I
smiled,Iam f
inall
ygoingtobefreefr
om this
uglyoldman!

Me:
It'
sov
er.
Pat
:what
?
Me:Ihavebett
ert
hingst
odonow,andIf
eel
l
ikeourdeali
spul
li
ngmedown.Soit'
sov
er.
Pat
:don'
tfuckwi
thme,
Kay
la.
Me:
goodby
e,Pat
ri
ck.

Istoodupandwal kedawayfrom hi
m,whenI
wasabi tf
arfrom him,Ismil
edandwhenIwas
abouttocall
anUber .Heappearedand
str
angledme, hedidn'
tcar
eaboutafewpeopl
e
st
ari
ngatus.

Pat
:youl
eav
ewhenIsayy
oul
eav
e,st
upi
dbi
tch.

Il
ookedathi
minf
ear
,Inoddedqui
ckl
yjustso
hedoesn'
tki
l
lme.
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Ismi l
edatmybabylooki
ngflyasev erwait
ing
formeatt heai
rpor
t.Hewaswearingabl ackt-
shirtwit
hablackbomberbasebal
ljacketwith
blackjeans,
hehadonar ol
l
edupwool beanie
andblacksneaker s.Istoodtherej
ustadmi r
ing
myman, afterawhi lehenoticedmeandhad
thebestsmileonhi sface.Ichuckledpul l
i
ngmy
twoheavybagst owardshim.Hel i
ckedhi slips,
andwhenIf inall
ycloset ohi
m, heki ssedme.
Hishandslandedonmyass, itwasn' tthe
perv
ertass-grabbingkiss.Hishandsj ustlai
d
ther
enotmov ingwhilekissi
ngme, Ithinkhe
wantedtoseehowmuchIt r
ustedhi m.AndI
real
l
ydid,butIwasn' treadyforsexy et.SoI
removedhishandssmoot hl
ybyhol di nghis
hands,andhepul l
edawayandpeckedmyl ips.

Xav
ier
:let
'
sgety
out
omyhouse.
Me:
Ineedt
ogethomef
ir
st,putmyl
uggage
t
her
e.
Xavi
er:whydon'
tyoukeepyourbagsov
eratmy
house,
andwegot oFif
i'
slunchfi
rst
?
Me:Il
ookli
keamess,
andyouwantmet
ohav
e
l
unchwit
hherl
ooki
ngli
ket
his?
Xav
ier
:youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.*
pecksherl
i
ps*
Me:
can'
tIshoweragai
nandchangemyout
fi
t?
Xav
ier
:no,
youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
Me:
ofcour
sey
ouwoul
dthi
nkl
i
ket
hat*
laughs*
~~
Wear r
ivedinthei
rhouse,
Ican'tbel
iev
ehe
real
l
ydidn'tl
etmechange.Ithoughthewoul d
l
etmehav esomet i
mewithhimt oatleastl
ay
upwithhim andbeloveydoveybutIguessFifi
real
l
ywant edmet ocomeov erforl
unch.I
heardmusicplayi
ngoutsi
det hebackyard.

Me:it'
sapartyandy oul
etmecomeher e
l
ookingli
kethis!?Lookatal
lthosebeaut
if
ul
people,Xav
ier.You'
rebei
ngunfair
.
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*you'
reoverr
eacti
ng,
youl
ook
morebeauti
ful
thanthosepeople.
Me:
whati
supwi
thy
oubei
ngsosweett
oday
?
Xav
ier
:Imi
ssedy
ou,
youknowt
hat
.

Ismil
edandbrushedhischeek.Hel ooked
bett
ernow.Hewasr eal
lyrecoveri
ngf r
om the
att
ack.Heopenedt hedoorforme, andt he
l
unchtablehad3otherladi
esthere.Theyal l
l
ookedsophist
icat
edandher eIlookedlikeIjust
camefrom ahoodpartyandIdidn'ttakea
shower.

Xav
ier
:her
eshei
s.

Theyalltur
nedandl ookedatme,Isawa
womanwhol ookedexactlyl
ikeI
sipho.Ij
ustf
elt
di
zzy,andev erythi
ngbecamebl ur
rythenIwas
onthefloor.
.
.
.
.
.
Kay
la

[
02/
17,
16:
42]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT11
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Shescr
eamedherlungsout.Ij
ustlaughed,t
he
pai
nwrit
tenonherfacewasmypl easure.
Me:you'l
lhavetochangetoanot
hervarsi
ty.
Waitthi
syearoutandgetint
oanotheronenext
year
.Idon'twanttoscar
emywi f
e,withyou
l
ookingli
kethat.

Ipunchedher
,thenknockedherout
.

Me:
unt
ieherandputheri
ntheboot
.

Iorder
edtheboys.Theyli
stenedtome, I
checkedmyphoneandnonewmessagef rom
Lonasoshereal
lymustbeasl eep.Ical
l
edJRt o
tal
kabouthi
m beinglat
e.

JR:
Rel
l
ik.
Me:
watgaanaan?(
What
'sgoi
ngon?
)
JR:
andi
va?(
Par
don?)
Me:
mywi
fewasunpr
otect
edf
or2hour
s,JR.
JR:har
de,mjit
a.(
Sor
ry,
man)bekukhoi
nxaki
endl
ini
(ther
ewerepr
oblemsathome)
Me:
Idon'
tgi
veaf
uck.We'
l
ldi
scusst
his
t
omorr
ow.
JR:
yeah-

Icuthi
m of
fbyhangingup.Scr
appyl
ookedat
mewi t
hasmirk.Iknowwherethi
swasgoing.
..
.

Scr
appy
:vr
ou,
huh?(
wif
e,huh?
)*l
aughs*
Me:
(houj
oubek)shutup.
Scr
appy
:af
ewday
sagoy
ousawherasaki
d.
Me:we'
ll
tal
kaboutthi
slat
eron.Nowwe'r
e
goi
ngtodealwi
ththeKhanyi
sit
uati
on.

ThenIwal
kedoutoft
hewar
ehouse.Scr
appy
fol
l
owedmewhenIdr oveoffwi t
hKhany i
inmy
boot.Fuck,
mycarwi llhav
ebl oodstai
ns.I'
ll
havetoproper
lycleanitoff
.OnceIsawwe
wereinthemiddleofnowher e.Istoppedthe
car
.Scrappyalsostoppedhisandpar kednext
tomine.Hegotoutofhi scar.Igotouttoo.

Scr
appy
:pr
obl
eem?(
Probl
em ?
)
Me:
yeah.

Iwenttomybootandopenedi t
.Ir
oughlyshook
hertowakeherup.Shewhi mperedinpai
nbutI
didn'
tcar
e,shejustsoundedl
ikeadogst andi
ng
i
nt herai
n.Ipul
l
edheroutandshef ell
ont he
tar.

Me:she'sgoingt
orunhome,
youknowy
ouway
homeright?
Sheshookherheadno.Herhandswer est
il
l
ti
edtoget
herbehindherbackandhermouth
wascovered.Herlegswerenott
iedt
hough.

Me:
runbef
oreIchangemymi
ndandki
l
lyou.

Shehesi tatedlookingatmei nf ear.It ookout

mygunf r
om mybehi ndandf i
xedi tt oshot.She
quicklystoodupandr an.Iwai t
edf orhertorun
alit
tlebitfastersoshecant astef reedom.I
aimedandshother .Shef ellont hegr oundhard.
Iwentt oherbody ,
andj ustlikeal way s.Iaimed
correctly,
thebulletwentr ightthr oughherhead.
Thiscr eatedabloodpool ont het ar .Ipull
edher
headupwi t
hherhai randdr aggedhert owards
thecar .

Me:cal
lthegent
stocl
eanup.Tel
lthem Ineed
t
hisbodytogetr
emovedfr
om her
ei n30
mi
nut
es,
fast
!
Scr
appy
:thoughty
ouwer
en'
tgoi
ngt
oki
l
lher
.
Me: changedmymind.Mygut
stoldmeshe'l
l
star
tratti
ngaboutt
hist
oever
yone.I
tneeded
tobedone.

Hejustnodded,andhewenttohiscar
.Puton
somemusi candboughttheweed.Wesmoked
wewaitedfortheboystocleant
hispl
aceand
gett
hisbodyoutofhere.

~~
×1WEEKLATER×
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-

Omar '
sfuner
alwentbyfast
,hisfamil
ydecided
toburnhisbodyandhavehisashes,theysai
d
hisbodywastooruinedtoevenrecognisehi
m
from t hecarf i
rei ntheacci dent .Butt heyknew
theirson, andt heywer esur eitwast heirson.
Sot heyonl ydidamemor i
alser vicef orhi m
wher et heytalkedabouthi m al ot .Idi dn'tgoto
i
nt roducemy sel fthere.ButIwasshockedt o
knowt hathet ol dSky laraboutme.Sky larwas
hisgi rlbestf ri
end.Shei nvi
tedhi mt othepar t
y
andt hat '
swhent heacci denthappened.She
stil
l blamesher sel fforitbutIf eltbadt hatshe
feltthatwaybecauseOmarwoul dn' twanther
tof eel li
ket hat.Theexamswer eher eandt he
East erhol idaywasappr oaching.Idi dn'twantit
tocomebecauseI 'l
lhav et ogobackt ot hose
demonsIcal lfami ly.Idon' twantt hat.I
recei vedacal lfrom Xav i
er,hehasr eall
ybeena
greatf ri
endt heseday s.Imi ghtev encal lhi
m
mynewbestf riend.Hi m andcr azyCar do.They
alway scheer edupmymood.

Me:
hey
?
Xav
ier
:ja.

Icouldhearhejustwokeup.Hi sv oi
cewas
raspyandsosexy .Ican'tevendenythathe'
s
goodlookingandsexy .Hisvoi
ceisalr
eady
amazingwhenhe' sfullawakebutwhenhe
wakesup.I t
'si
ncredible.

Me:awwy
ouj
ustwokeup?Youcangobackt
o
sl
eep.
Xav
ier
:nah.Ij
ustsawy
ourt
ext
.Tal
ktome.
Me:woah,ar
eyoual
way
sthi
sgr
umpywhen
youwakeup?
Xav
ier
:tal
k,Lel
ona.
Me:Itoldy
oudon'
tgotothepartynowt
he
hangoveri
stoomuch.*
laughs*
Xav
ier
:Lel
ona*
groans*
Me:
sor
ry.Ineedaf
avour
.
Xav
ier
:any
thi
ng.
Me: thereisasaleatSport
sceneandt her
e's
thesesneaker sthatI
'
m dyi
ngfor.I
'l
lsendy ou
thepictures.Ij
ustwantyoutostandthere
quicklybeforesomeonetakesthem fi
rst.
Xavi
er:
I'
ll
sendsomeoneov
ert
her
e.Whycan'
t
yougo?
Me:
Ihavet
ostar
tatt
hecampusf
ir
st.Mr
May
bankwant
stotal
ktome.
Xav
ier
:youhav
ecl
assest
oday
?
Me:no.Andsendapi ctur
eoft heguyyou'
re
goi
ngtosendov erther
esoIknowwhoIam
goi
ngto.Ijustwanttogetintheshopandpay.I
woul
d'veaskedMullerandKingbutthey'
re-
Xav
ier
:Lona,
Ireal
l
ydon'
tmi
nd.
Me: Idon'
twantyoutothi
nkI'
mt aking
advantageofyourki
ndness.Ir
eallyappr
eci
ate
everyt
hingyouhavedoneforme.
Xav
ier
:ev
ery
dayy
ousayt
hanky
out
ome,
andI
st
il
ldon'
tknowwhy
.*chuckl
es*
Me:
I'
m bei
nggr
atef
ul.
Xavi
er:l
et'
sputanendtoitnow.Iknowy
ou'
re
grat
eful
,noneedtosayitever
yday.
me:
okay
.Wel
lIhav
etogo.
Xav
ier
:cool
.Tal
ktoy
oul
ater
Me:
bye
Xav
ier
:by
e.

Ismi ledhangi ngup, thenIsenthi m pi

cturesof
thesneaker sIwant ed.Thi sweekhasbeen
good, noKay ladrama, noKhanyidrama, mydad
i
sheal thy.Andmostofal lmybrothersarestil
l
okayandsaf e.TheOmarcasewasst i
l
lbeing
i
nv estigated,It hi
nk.Becauset helastti
meI
hear di twast hrownoutandr ul
edi tasan
accident .Whowoul dwantt okil
lOmar ?Hewas
alway ssoni ceandsweetwhoev erdidit
.Iwil
l
nev erf or
givet hem,ev er!Hi
sparent shi
reda
Lawy ertobr i
ngev idencehi scarwasmadet hat
wayt hatdaybutt her ewasn' tany .Thej udge
dismissedt hecaseaf t
ert heyjustbr oughtt he
caseuponassumpt ion.Iknowal otcan
happenedi noneweek.DrZwi de'ssessi ons
helpmeal ot.Iseeher2t imesaweek,t he
j
our nali
sal soagoodt hingf ormebecauseno
oneknowsabouti tbutmeandDrZwi de.I t
's
l
ikeI '
mt al
kingt osomeonewhowon' tjudgeme.
Icansaywhat ev erIwantandnotbescar edof
beingjudgedbecauseoft heopinionsIhav e.I
rusheddownst airsbecauseIneededt or usht o
thecampus.Mul lerwast here,Kingwasnot
though.Hewaswi thX.Ij ustwav edatt hem and
rushedout .Iwal kedt ot hecampusandwenton
MrMay bank'sof fice.

Me:
sir
,youemai
l
edmewant
ingt
oseeme.

Wasi
tev
enal
l
owedf
orLect
urer
stoemai
l
student
s?Idi
dn'
twanthimtonoti
ceIwas
uncomfort
abl
ewiththi
ssoIfor
cedasmil
e
whilemyhear
tstar
tedbeat
ingfast
.

MrMaybank:
yes,howar
ethesessi
onswi
th
Ri
car
doDamon?
Me:
par
don?
MrMay
bank:
het
oldmehowheachievedsuch
ahi
ghmar
kinmyexam.Youwer
etutori
nghim.
Me:
yes,
oncer
tai
nday
s,si
r.
MrMay
bank:
howmuchdoy
ouchar
gehi
m?
Me:he'
ski
ndofmyf
ri
endsoIdon'
tchar
gehi
m
si
r.
MrMay bank:Iwantyout
otut
or3ofmy
str
uggl
ingstudent
s.They
'r
ewil
li
ngpayR50an
hour.
Me:
real
l
y!?YesI
'
lldoi
tsi
r.
~~
Iwalkedfr
om UCTcampust oSportsceneandi
t
wasabi tl
ongandIwast i
redashell
.Andthe
sunwasn'thel
pingeit
her
.Afterawhil
eof
walki
ng,Xavi
ercall
edme.

Me:
I'
m ar
ri
vi
ngi
nthest
orenow.
Xav
ier
:al
readyboughtt
hem.Comet
oSpur.
Me:
what
!?
Xav
ier
:Ial
readyboughtt
hem f
ory
ou.
Me:youcan'
tdot
hat
.Idon'
twanty
ouspendi
ng
moneyonme.

Iknowguy s,especial
l
yguy sli
keXavi
er.One
minutethey'
rebuyingy ouexpensi
vegif
ts,t
he
nextminutetheythinktheyowny oubecauseof
theexpensiv
egi f
ts.

Xav
ier
:al
readydi
d.
Me:
mxm.

Idr oppedt hecall,hedoesn'tlist

ent omeandI
hat et hat.WhenIsaynoIwi shpeopl ewoul d
l
istent ome.I '
m notcomf or
tablewi thguy s
buy ingmeexpensi v egif
tsandhedi di t,butI
toldhi m noal ready .Hecal l
edagai n, andIj ust
turnedof fmyphone.Thesunwasbur ningme
andi twaswayf art ogethome.Iswi tchedon
myphone, cal
ledupanUber .Thenswi tchedi t
offi gnor i
ngXav ier'
st extsandmi ssedcal ls.
Oncet heUberar ri
v edIwenthome, Iwast ir
ed
andheat i
ngup.I '
l
l needacol dshower .Once
theUberpar kednextt omyhouse, IsawXav i
er
blackLambor ghini.Iwasshockedhewasher e
already .Butwhyam Isur pr
isedthisguy 'sisa
speedr acerhedoest hismor eoften.

Xav
ier
:Lel
ona
Me:
Idon'
tthi
nkwehav
eany
thi
ngt
otal
kabout
unt
ily
oust
artl
i
steni
ngt
ome.
Xav
ier
:I'
m al
lear
s.
Me: Idonotneedy ourmoney .Icanbuymy
ownst uffandIlikebuyingmyownst uff.It
'sa
partofwhoIam.Iunder st
andy ourgi
rlf
riendor
gir
lf
r i
endslovey ouspoili
ngthem butI'
m not
them.Ilikespendingmyownmoneyandnot
dependingonany oneelsebesidesmy selfand
mybr others.Pleaseunder st
andwhatI '
m
sayingandt akeitseri
ously.
Xav
ier
:Ido.AndIpr
omi
set
hisi
sthel
astt
imeI
doi
t.
Me:t
hankyou.NowIhav etogoal
lthewayto
t
hebanktowithdr
awy ourR1100butIjust
woul
d'
veswipedatthestore.
Xav
ier
:I'
m notgoi
ngt
otaket
hemoney
.
Me:whydoIev
enbot
herwi
thy
ou?Any
way
t
hankyou.
Henodded, Ihuggedhim goodby e.Heki ssed
myf oreheadt henIwenti
nsidet hey ard.OnceI
wasi nt hehousethat
'swhenhedr ov eoff.The
housewasempt y,
Iguessmybr otherswer eout.
Istudiedf ort
heexam Iwasgoi ngt owr it
e
tomorr ow.
~~
Icheckedt het i
mei twas6: 00pm IguessI
studiedti
lll
at e.Itookapi ctureofmybooksand
posteditonmyWhat sAppst atuswiththe
caption"i
t'
sdedi cationnotluck "t henI
checkedot herpeopl e'
sstatuesandIsawKay l
a
waspar tyi
ngbutshe' sinthemodul ewithme.
We'rebothwr it
ingt hetesttomor r
ow.Isawher
statusthatwaspost edjustnow.I twaswr i
tt
en
"bit
cheshav enol i
fewhat soev er "
somet hi
ngi nmet oldmei twasaboutme
becausewhywoul dshepostt hatafterIposted
apictureofmybooks?Sher eallyloves
breakingmedownandIdon' tunder standwhy .
Shehasi tall,Ishoul dbet heonej ealousofher
yetshe' sjeal ousofme.She' sgott heper fect
body ,
shehasal otofguy st hatl i
keher ,andshe
hasal otoff riends.I 'mf atandal lthef r
iendsI
hav ear el ike2excl udingher .Wel l she'snot
ev enmyf riendany mor e.She'st oocaughtup
wi thKhany iandZi khonat oev enseet hat'
s
she' slosi ngt heper sont hatcar edabouthert he
most ,andt hat'sme.Idi dn'tev enr eplytoher
pet tydr ama.I fIhav enol if
ewhyi sshewast ing
her sst alkingme?I 'llneverunder standKay l
a
yaz,shebul li
edmei nhi gh-school andshe' s
tryingt odoi tagai ni nv arsity,andIcan' tbel i
eve
my self
!I '
ml et t
ingherbul l
yme.I 'ml etti
ngher
pet tydr amaaf f
ectme.Ishoul dj usthav e
posi ti
vev ibesandl etkar madeal wi t
hher .
Becausecl earlyshe' snotonmyl ev el.I'
llpray
forhert ogetbet terf rom allthebi tternessand
j
eal ousybecauset hoset wot hingsar ewhatcan
killaper sonormaket hem goont hewr ong
trackofl ifethent hey 'l
lregretitaf teritist oo
l
at et of i
xany thing.Ihopeshedoesn' t
experi
encet hat.AlthoughshehatesmeIdon' t
hateher,If
eel sorryforher.Sheneedslov ei
n
ordert
ogi velov eandev enthoughshewi shes
mebadt hings.Isor tadon'twantherto
experi
encebadt hings.Iwentdownstai
rst oeat,
Isawmybr others.Theywer eeati
ngpizza.Ijust
rol
ledmyey es, theyeatsomuchy ett
hey
alwaysstayf i
t!

Mul
l
er:
youdr
ankmycoke?

If
rozeandcl
ear
edmyt
hroat
.

Me:
yeah.Justonegl
ass.

HowwasIgoi ngtoMul l
erthaXavi
erorgani
sed
someonet oguar dovertheyar
d?becausehe
didn'
tfeell
ikeit
'ssaf
ef ormetobeherealone.
I'
drathernotbecausetheybothhavehugeegos
soit'
l
l onl
ycauset
oomanyfight
s.Hewon't
understandt
hatXavi
eri
sonl
ymyf ri
endand
nothi
ngmor eandnothi
ngl
ess.

Mul
l
er:
Ithoughty
ouwer
eof
faci
d.
Me:
Iam,j
ustcr
avedi
tfory
est
erdayonl
y.
Mul
l
er:
you'
rel
yi
ng.
Me:
uh?What
?I.Iam not
.
Mull
er:
Lel
ona;
Iknowy oul
i
ket
hebackofmy
hand.Whowashere?
Me:
noone-
Mul
l
er:
Lel
ona!
!!*
shout
ing*

Iwasscaredformylif
e.WhenMul l
eristoo
angry,
hecannotcontrolhi
sanger.Lastti
mehe
beatupOmar .I
'
m scaredhe'
ll
beatmeup.Ev en
thoughhepromisedhewouldneverdot hat
.
Me:
itwasjustCar
do.Wewer
est
udy
ingher
ein
t
hehouse.

Irepl
i
edwit
hgl
ossyey
es.Ihatebei
ngshouted.
Andheknowshowvul
nerabl
eIam.Hesi ghed
oncehesawIwant
edtocry.

King:someonewoul dswearyoutooar et
wins.
Youbot hcan'
tcontrol
youremotions.Youreal
l
y
actthesame* shakeshisheadchuckli
ng*
Me:
mxm.HeknowsIhat
ebei
ngshout
ed.
Ki
ng:
wenauxokel
ant
oni
?(Whydi
dyoul
i
e?)
Me:Ithoughtyouguyswer
egoi
ngt
obeangr
y
aboutCardobeingher
e.
Mull
er:
Ital
kedt
ohi
m al
ongt
imeago.He'
s
har
mless.
Me:t
alkedt
ohim?That'
swhyhedi
tchedhi
s
f
ri
endsandcametostudywi
thme.Not
becausehecar
edaboutt
hetest
,youguy
sreall
y
tol
dhimtolookoutf
ormeandIwasalonethat
day.
Mul
l
er:It
oldy
ouIwoul
ddoi
t.Wesai
ditat
t
hepar
ty.
Me: i
didn'
tthi
nkyouweret
hatext
remetof
orce
avarsit
yguytonotenj
oyhi
svarsi
tyl
if
e
becauseofme.
Mull
er:
nottosayheshoul
dn'
tenj
oyit
.Just
wat
chov erandhangwi
thyousoyoudon'
tfeel
l
onel
y.
Me:
soy
ou'repayi
ngsomeonet
obemyfr
iend?
Wowmyli
feisl
ame.Ireal
l
yhav
enol
if
e*sighs*
Ki
ng:
don'
tsayt
hat
.
Me:
it'
str
ue.Mybr
other
shavetopaysomeone
t
ohangoutwit
hme.Ifeel
li
keIam afai
l
ure.
Mul
ler
:bynothavi
nganyf
ri
ends?That
'
san
f
uckedupfai
lur
ethen.
Me:
you'
renothel
ping.
Mull
er:l
ook,yourgoal
sshoul
dbeaboutget
ti
ng
aneducati
onnotfri
ends.Whydoyoueven
needfr
iendswheny ouhav
eus?Fri
endscome
andgobut -
Me: f
amil
ystaysfor
ev er
.* si
ghs*Iwantgirl
f
riendsandfri
endsthatwon'tgoar ound
f
ighti
ngeveryonewhenIt ell
them howmyday
went.Norfi
ghtmyboy fr
iendinWat erworl
d.
Mul
l
er:
Igety
ourpoi
nt.
Me:andpl
easest
oppayingCardot
ohangout
wi
thme.Iwantagenui
nefri
endshi
p.

It
ext
edCar
do.Iam sodi
sappoi
ntedi
nhi
m.

Me:y
ourpay
mentsar
eover
.Youdi
dn'
thav
eto
f
akebei
ngmyfr
iendf
ormoney.
Cardo : sor
ry,
Lona.Ineededt
hecashbut
ri
ghtnowIenjoyyourcompanykid.Younot
thatbad.
Me:
mxm.
Car
do:
I'
ll
makei
tupt
oyou.
Me:
Let
'sgot
othatv
eganr
est
aur
ant
.Youowe
me.
Cardo:I
'
m notaboutt
opayR100toeatleaves.
Let'
sgotothi
sspotIknow,
theysel
lthebest
braai
.
Me:
Ican'
teatbr
aai
meat
.
Cardo:comeon.I
t'
sjustf
oroneday
.Letl
oose.
I
'l
lpickyouupi
n30mi nut
es.

Ilookedatmybrother
swhowerebusybeing
i
diotsandthrowi
ngpopcorni
ntheairandtr
ying
tolandthem i
nthei
rmouthandlaughi
ngat
eachotherwhentheothermi
sses.

Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
oDebonai
rswi
thCar
do.
Mul
l
er:
Debonai
rs?*
conf
used*
Me:
yeah,
he'
str
yingt
oapol
ogi
ze.CanIgo?
Ki
ng:
asl
ongasy
ougetbackbef
oremi
dni
ght
.
Me:
okay
,thanks.

Irushedupst air
stowearsomet hingcasual .I
wor emyl ightbluejeanswi thal ightblueJean
j
ackett henawhi tepoloneckunder neath.Il ef
t
myphonesoIdon' tattr
actt hi
evesIwor emy
whitesneaker sagain.Andr ightafterIwas
done, Cardowasi ntheki tchen.I thasn'tev en
beenami nut eandhe' seat ingint hehouse.He
l
ov esfood.Iknowmanyofy ouar ethinking
Cardoandmehav ef eel
ingsf oreachot her .It'
s
ano, becauseIwoul dnev erdat eagangst er
andCar doseesmeashi sl ittl
esisterjust
becausehe' say earoldert hanme.Iseehi m as
mybr other .Not hi
ngmor e!
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Itookoutallmyfrustr
ati
onsinf
uckingthehel
l
outofNandi.Shet ext
edmeearli
erandI
couldn'
tresi
st.I
'
m stil
lsi
ngl
eeventhoughI
wantLelona,andIwanthersobad.

Nandi
:yes!Yes!Ahha!Rel
l
ikkkkk*
moans*

Iwasslammi ngmydicki nherdoggyst yl

e.She
cameandIf oll
owedrightafterher
.Ipull
edout
andwenttof l
ushthecondom downt het oil
et.I
heardmyphoner i
ngint heroom whil
eIwas
peeingi
nthere.Nandiboughtittome, shewas
sti
l
lnaked.Ibitmyli
pandsl appedherass.She
smiledandwinked.
Nandi
:hur
ryandcomebackt
obed.

Ianswer
edt
hecal
l
,itwasCar
do.

Cardo:we'
regoi
ngtotheMzol
i
'sPl
ace.Wher
e
thegangusual
lyhangs.
Me:whythef
uckwoul
dyout
akehert
oapl
ace
f
ull
ofgangst
ers!
?
Cardo:
theydon'tevenknowher
.Theyj
ustt
hink
she'
saf r
iendofmine.
me:
Cardogethert
hef
uckoutoft
her
ebef
ore
t
her
eisashootout
.

Ihear
dai
rnoi
ses,
thenIhear
dmybabyt
alki
ng.

Lona:
letmet
alkt
ohi
m.Hei
stoomuch.
..
Xavi
erIcamehereforagoodt
ime.I
'
mlet
ti
ng
l
oose.Yousai
dityoursel
f.
Me:
okay
.
Lona:okay
?ThankGody
oudeci
dednott
obe
stubbor
ntoday
.
Me:
*chuckl
es*I
'
llbet
her
ein15mi
nut
es.
Lona:
what
?Why
?*l
aughs*we'
l
lbef
ine.
Me:youknowI'
m notgoi
ngtoli
stent
oy ou.And
Inev
erwil
lwhenitcomestoyoursaf
ety

WhythefuckwouldCar
dot akeLel
onat
othe
Mzoli
'
sPlaceinGugul
ethu!
?Somet i
mesI
wonderhowthatki
dgotinmygang.Iqui
ckl
y
dr
essedup.

Nandi
:wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?Rel
l
ik.

Shet
ri
edt
otouchmesoIqui
ckl
ypushedher
backandshef
ell
ont
hebedr
oughl
y.

Me:getdressedandgetthef
uckoutofmy
house.You'r
edonewithwhatyouwereher
efor
.
I
'l
ldeposi
tmoneyf ort
hoseshoesyouwant
ed.

Shenoddedwi pinghertearsandgett
ing
dressed.It
ookmybl ackRangeRover
.ThenI
droppedNandi offanddroveofft
otheMzoli
'
s
Place.

LONA
[
02/
17,
16:
42]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER~
I
NSERT12
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Wewenti nsidet heplaceandpl acedanor der
forthemeat ,thenwentt ot heplacewher ethey
braai forust heconsumer s.Itwaspacked,
therewer eal otofpeopl e.Peopl eIwasev en
scaredof .Somest aredatus, IblameCar do.He
waswear ingt heseAmer icanflagscl ot
hesand
drawi ngat t
ent i
ont ous.Ibr eathedsl owlyto
contai nmypani cat t
ack.Ther ewer eal otof
peopl e!Iclosedmyey esandcount edt o10
thenIwasokay .Ismi l
edatCar do, buthewas
l
ooki ngatmeconf used.

Me:
Iwast
ryi
ngt
ocont
ainmypani
cat
tack.
Car
do:It
houghtyouwereaboutt
ohav
ea
sei
zur
eorsomething.
Wel aughedt ogetherandIplayfull
ypunched
him.Whi l
ewewai tedforthemeat ,wetal
ked.
Themeatf inall
yar ri
ved.Het ol
dmeabouthi s
babymamadr ama.Iwasshockedt hathehada
chil
d.Helov eshisbabymot hersomuch, ev
en
thoughhel i
esabouti tIseet hesmilehehadon
hisfacewhenhet alksabouther .Wewere
eati
ngandt alking.

Me:
whydon'
tyouj
ustsendi
temst
hen?
Cardo:Iwanttotakecareofhert
oo,because
shemightfindanotherl
i
ghti
e(guy)t
ot akecar
e
ofher.
Me:
andy
oudon'
twantt
hat
.
Car
do:*
annoyed*i
fIwant
edt
hatt
henI
woul
dn'
tcar
e.
Me: don'
tgetgrumpywi
thme.*
chuckl
es*just
tel
lheryou'r
elowoncashandI
'
m sureshe'
ll
supportyou.
Cardo:*chuckl
es*youwat chwaytoomanyTV
shows.Thisisthereal
wor ldwher
ewheny ou
can'
ttakecareyourgir
l,someoneelsewi
ll
doi t
foryou
Me:
you'
l
lnev
erknowunl
essy
out
ry.
Car
do:
Lel
ona-
Me:
t.r
.y
Cardo:hasany
oneev
ert
oldy
ouhowannoy
ing
youare?
??:howcanabeaut
if
ulf
acel
i
ket
hisbe
annoyi
ng?

Il
ookedback, andIdi
dn'tknowt hi
sguyatall
.
Helookedscar yt
ome.Hewasn' tcut
enorugly
j
ustaverage.Hehadtattoosallover,
evenon
hi
sneckj ustl
ikeXavi
er.Helookedolderand
bi
ggerthanCar do
Car
do:
Kenny
..
.
Kenny:houjoubek,Ricar
do!Ekpr
aatmetdi
e
mooi meisi
e.(Shutup,Ri
car
do!I
'mtal
ki
ngwith
thebeauti
fulgir
l)

Helift
eduphi svestandIcoul
dseeagun.My
heartstar
tedbeati
ngupin1000beats.Iwas
afr
aidCardowoul dbestubbor
nandgetus
ki
ll
edbynotshut ti
ngup.Andhedid,
Car dogot
up,anddisplayedhi
sgun.

Cardo:ekwil
niemetjouhierdi
etedoenni
e.
Maarjyisui
tvandielyn.(
Idon'
twanttodothi
s
wit
hy oubutyou'
reoutofli
ne)
Kenny:hoekom huil
jy?Issyjoumeisi
e!?Syis
mymei si
enou!* r
oughlypull
sLona'sar
m*( why
ar
ey oucryi
ng?Isshey ourgi
rlf
ri
end?She'smy
gi
rl
fri
endnow!)
Peoplewer emindingt heirownbusi ness,they
couldn'tevenseewhatwashappeni ng.Andi t
wast ool oud,t
her ewasnopoi ntformet o
scream.AsIt riedt oscr eam i
t'
slikenoscr eams
werecomi ngout.Hehadat i
ghtgr iponmyar m,
nowwewer ebot hst andingupandIcoul df eel
hisdickonmyass.Hewast oocloset ome,
anditmademev eryuncomf ortable.Ili
terall
y
j
ustf rozetherescar edofwhatmi ghthappen
next.Ican'tdi
et oday ,andIcan'tgetr aped
today!Notev er!IknowIdon' tappreciatelifea
l
otbutIj ustcan'tdie!Noti nagangst erspot
wher emymur dercasewoul dleadnowher e
becausenoonewi llsnitch.

Cardo:
syisRel
li
ksemeisi
e.Moeniespeel
met
haarni
e.(
SheisRel
kl
ik'
sgi
rlf
ri
end.Don'
tpl
ay
wit
hher)
Kenny
:babygi
rl
,tel
lmey
ourname.
Me:
uh,
uhm i
-
Kenny
:Ri
car
do,
haarnaam?(
Hername?
)
Xav
ier
:it
'snoneofy
ourbusi
ness.

Webotht
urnedl
ookedbehi
ndus,
andboywasI
l
uckyt
oseehim!

Xav
ier
:Lel
ona,
comeher
e.

Iwasscaredtoev enwalkov ertohim because

thefaci
alexpr
essionhehadwasv er
y
thr
eateni
ngandv eryserious.I
flookscouldkil
l
Kennywouldbe6f eetunderri
ghtnow.Kenny
hadat i
ghtgri
ponmyar m.It r
iedtogot ohim
butKennypull
edmeback.

Xav
ier:
Kenny
,youdon'
twanttomesswi t
hme.
Maythi
sbemyf i
nalwar
ning.I'
m notat
alker
,
soi
fIsaysomethi
ngonce.Iwantitt
ohappen
qui
ckly.WhenItell
Lel
onasheshouldcometo
me, she'
l
lwal
ktomesaf el
ywithoutmeseei
ng
anyt y
peofbr
uisesonher.Or
,Mzoli'
swi
llbea
cri
mesceneverysoon.

Heletgoofmyar m andIwalkedovert
oXavier
.
Iwasscaredtoevenhughim, whenhe'
sangry
i
t'
sli
kehe'sangryatever
yone.SoIwasscared
toeventouchhi
m.Tomysur pri
sehewasthe
onewhohuggedme.

Xav
ier
:you'
reokay
?

Inodded,
Icoul
dn'
tev
ensayawor
dout
.

Xav
ier
:you'
rehur
t?

Ishookmyheadno.I
'
mjustst
il
lscar
ed,
myar
m
j
usthur
tsbutIcoul
dn'
ttel
lhi
mthat.Idon'
twant
t
hispl
acebeingal
lmessedupbecauseofme.

Xav
ier
:how'
syourar
m?

Ishruggedabi
t.Hi
sjawclenchedIcoul
dseeit
thr
oughhishar
dcheeks.Hewasr eal
lymad.

Me:
cany
oupl
easej
ustt
akemehome?
Xavi
er:Car
dowill
takey
ouhome.I
'
llf
oll
owr
ight
af
teryouguys.
Me:
Iwanty
out
otakemehome.

Ilookedhi
mi nt
ohisey
es.Hisri
ghthandr
an
throughhi
sface.Hewastr
yingtocal
m hi
msel
f
down.
Xavi
er:I
'
llf
oll
owr
ightaf
tery
ouguy
s.I
'
llcal
lyou
l
ateron.
Me:
Xav
ier
-
Xavi
er:
pleasel
istentomeforonceandI
promi
sey ouI
'l
lcally
oulat
er.

Il
ookeddowndef eatedbecausewhatifXavier
getsshott
odayandIwi ll
bet her
easonforthat.
Iknowhe'sagrownmanandhe' sagangster
butIcan'
thel
pbutwor rybecausehelet
shis
angergett
hebestofhi m someti
mesandt hat
wil
lleadhi
mindar kerpaths.

Xav
ier
:comeon,
don'
tdot
hat
.I'
l
lbeokay
.

Inoddedandhekissedmyf or
ehead.He
motionedforCar
dot ocomewi thus,Xavi
er
hel
dmyhand.Wewal kedoutthepl
ace.Idi
dn't
l
ikethestareswereceivedf
rom peoplet
here.I
thi
nkt heyknewXav i
er.Hemadesur eIgotnear
thecar ,
safely.Hestoodwi thusnearCar
do's
car.Isawhi sRangeRov erfr
om afar
.Whyishe
dri
vingaRangeRov ert oashisanyama.
Heeeehl omf ana(thi
sguy )

Xavi
er:
dri
veherhome,noquickst
ops.Cal
l
Scr
appytocal
lOGandJRt heyshoul
dcome
her
enounou( nownow)

Icr
iedsi
l
enttear
stogethi
m wor
ri
edandnotgo
i
nbackther
e.

Xavi
er :
don'
tdothat
.*wipeshert
ear
s*I
promisedyouI
'l
lcal
lyou.Youlov
eworr
ying
yoursel
f.
Me:Idon'
twantyout
ogobacki
nher
e.You'
re
gonnagethur
t.
Xav i
eri
st heonlybestfr
iendIdon'
thavei
nthe
moment .Heal wayscallsatni
ghtandIdon'
t
sleepwit
habadmood.AndIdon' tt
olosehi
m
toojustl
ikeIlostKayla.

Xavier:Ineedtoteachhim alesson.He's
disr
espect f
ulandIdon'tli
kehim disr
especti
ng
meandt hepeopleIcareabout.Heshoul dn'
t
evenhav etalkedtoCardolikethatnorgr
aby ou
l
iket hatbuthediditbecausehel i
kesseeinga
reactionoutofmewel lhe'sgonnaseeone
tonight.

Himt alki
ngsoangr
ilywaswor r
yingme
becausef r
om wher
eIl ookati
t.Peopl
emaydi e
fr
om t hat
,goshwhydidIevencomet othis
pl
acewhenIhav eat esttomorr
ow.Mor ecars
pull
edup.IsawJR, Scrappyandsomeot her
guythathadahugescaronhi sface.
Xav
ier
:okay
,nowIhav
etogo.Noqui
ckst
ops,
Car
do.

Iwasaboutt ocryandhelookedatmei nafi

rm,
sternandseri
ouswayt ostopwhatIwas
tr
y i
ngtodo.Ifol
dedmyar msandl ookedthe
way .Cardowasholdi
nginal augh.Deathand
beatingpeopl
eupi snotajoke.Xavierki
ssed
myf oreheadthenheopenedt hedoorforme,I
gotinthecar.

Me:don'tf
orgett
ocal
lmewheny
ou'
reaty
our
house.
Xavi
er:
andgetsomerest.You'
rewr
it
ingexams.
Don'
tstr
essaboutme,j
yhoormy ?(
youhear
me?)
Me:
yeah.

Hecl
osedt
hedoor
,thenCar
dodr
oveof
f.
Speedi
ngofft
obequi
tecor
rect.Igl
aredathi
m.
Thi
sisnotatr
aci
ngshow,i
t'
srealli
fe.

Me:
whyar
eyouspeedi
ng?
Cardo:
justwanttogohomequi ckl
y.Ul
i
gwal
a
kanene(you'
recoward)*
laughs*
Me:welef
tthemeatt
her
e!At
otal
wast
eof
money
.
Car do:*l
aughs*Ididn'
tevenr
eal
iset
hatwel
eft
i
tt here.I
'l
ltextMzolit
okeepi
tsafef
orme,I
'
ll
takei tt
omor row.
Me:
youknowt
heowneroft
hepl
ace!
?
Car
do:
yeah.Weal
ldo,
eveny
ourbr
other
s.
Me:
isheal
soapar
toft
hebi
ggang..
.?
Car
do:y
oucoul
dsayt
hat.*
laughs*heusest
he
shi
sany
amatowashhi
scash
Me:washhi
scashl
ikemakeitseenl
ikethe
dr
ugdir
tymoneyi
smadeintheshisanyama.
Cardo:
yeah.We'
regoi
ngt
ost
opatt
hegar
ageI
needaquickr
efi
l
l.
Me:
Xav
iersai
dnoqui
ckst
ops.
Cardo:i
fwedon'
tst
opt
her
e.I
zof
adal
aipet
rol
.
(Thepetr
olwi
l
lend)
Me:
okay
,justav
eryqui
ckst
op.

West oppedatt hegaragecl osebyt owher ewe

were.Iwaitedi nthecar, whileCardotalkedto
themenout side.Icouldclearlyheartheir
conversat
ionaboutt hepet r
ol andthenthey
wentont omakesmal ltalkwi t
heachot her
abouttherisingpr i
ceofpet rol.Aft
erthatCardo
droveoff.

Car
do:
tol
dyounot
hingwi
l
lhappen.
Me:
yeahy
eah*
chuckl
esr
oll
i
ngey
es*
Ihear
dacarsoundbehi
ndussoIlookedback,
Cardospedupbutt
hecaral
sospedup.

Me:
Ithi
nkwe'
rebei
ngf
oll
owed.
Car
do:
shi
t.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Iangri
lyl
ookedatKenny.Ical
l
edScrappy
,JR
andOGbecauseIknewKenny 'scr
ewwas
aroundheresomewhere.

Kenny
:fi
nal
l
y,Rel
l
ikhasaweakness*
laughs*
Me:
ify
ouev
ert
ouch-
Kenny
:you'
renotgoi
ngt
odoany
thi
ng.
Me:youbul
lyi
ngCar
dobecauseyouknowhe'
s
al
oneinher
eandallyourboy
sareher
eisr
eal
ly
aweakmov eIdi
dn'
texpectf
rom y
ou.

Iai
medmygunathi m,that'
swheney eslanded
onus.Somepeopler
anoutcr azil
ybutIknew
al
lthosewhoweregangster
sst ayedbehi
nd.

Kenny:
kil
lme.Ki
ll
meenskep'noor
log(
and
cr
eateawar)youwil
lev
erwi
n!
Me:
I'
ll
figur
esomet
hingout
.

Quickl
yMzolir
ushedinbetweenus.Icoul
dn'
t
shootKennybecauseIr
espectedMzolial
ot.
AndifIshootMzoli
,Iwi
ll
beindeepshit.

Mzol
i
:Kenny
,ui
t!(
Out
)
Kenny:seeyouaround,
Rel
l
ik.IhopeIgett
osee
hertoo.*smi
rks*

Iwant
edtobeathi
m upsobad,
butMzol
ihel
d
meback.

Mzol
i:hey
!Whyi
smybusi
nessaf
ight
ingar
ea
f
oryou?
Me:youknowhowKennyget sundermyski
n.
Eendageksaldatseundoodmaak.(
OnedayI
wil
lki
llt
hatboy)
Mzoli
:noti
nmyshi sanyama.Iam l
osi
ng
busi
nessbecauseofthi
s.
Me:
aski
es.(
Sor
ry)
Mzoli
:you'
reluckyI
'mverycl
osewi
thy
our
uncl
eandy ou*chuckl
es*
Me:
thanksMzoman!
Mzol
i
:anddon'
tgohunt
ingf
orKenny
.It
'sbeen
anwhi
lesincetherehasbeenawar
,don'
tgo
ar
oundlookingfori
t.
Me:
Iheary
ou.

Myguy sandIlef t.Itol

dt hem whathappened
andt heysaidthey 'l
lthinkofway sofget ti
ng
backar oundatKennywi thoutkil
linghim and
creati
ngawar .Kenny '
sf atherrunst hest r
eets
i
nEast ernCape, butKennycameher ej
ustt o
l
iveandenj oyli
f ebef orehegoesbackt o
EasternCapet ot akeov er.HeknowsIcan' tkil
l
him becauseit'
llonl ycr eatewart hatwoul d
neverend.Ghost ,whoi smyuncl e,alway s
warnsmenott oki l
lKennybuthi sl i
feisl i
kea
ti
ckingbombandi t
'ssoonaboutt oexpl ode
becauseIwon' tt akeshi tfr
om him.Ispedof f
home, andIdidn' tseeanyf unnythingsal ong
theroadsoIguessCar doandLonaar r
ived
homesaf el
y.Ical ledLonat omakesur e.Her
phoner angtil
litwasunanswer ed.Forhersake
Ihopeshe'snotignori
ngmycal l
sbecauseI
'l
l
gotoherhomel ookingforher.Icall
edagain
andsti
l
l i
trangunanswer ed.Beforemyanger
coul
driseupIcal l
edCardo.Itranganditwas
answer
edaf teralongti
me.

Me:
didy
oudr
opherof
fsaf
ely
?
Car
do:
uh.
..

Icouldhearthathewassti
llont
her
oad
speeding.InmyheadIthoughtmay
behe'
s
raci
ngt oday.

Me:
whatt
hef
uckdoy
oumeanby"
uh"Car
do?
Lona:
we'
rebei
ngf
oll
owed.

Iwasfucki
ngsofucki
ngangryshewasi
nthe
carwhenIspeci
fi
cal
lyt
oldCardonoqui
ck
st
ops.

Me:
what
!?Wher
ear
eyou!
?
Lona:
Idon'
tknow.
Me:
Car
do!
?
Car
do:
uh,
we'
reuhm.
..
Me:youbet
terf
ucki
ngknowwher
eyouar
e,I
swearI
'l
l
-
Lona:Xavi
er!He'
sdri
vi
ngandIdon'
twanthi
m
str
essedwhilehe'
sdri
vi
ng.Thi
sismyl
if
ehere.
He'snotal
oneinthecar

Cardotoldmewher etheywereandIwasmore
angrythatt
heydidn'
tli
stentomewhenIsai
d
noquickstops.Iqui
cklygoti
nmycar.

Me:ci
rcl
earoundthesame2str
eets.They
'r
e
f
oll
owingyoufori
nfor
mati
on.Theywant
Lona'
saddr
ess.
Lona:
myaddr
ess?Why
?
Me: Kenny
'sor
ders.I
'l
lbet
her
equickl
ykeep
ci
rcli
ngthe2str
eets.Donott
akeherhome
Cardo!
Car
do:
yes,
boss
Me:don'
thangupei
ther
.Ineedt
omakesur
e
Lonai
ssafe.
~~
Iparkednexttoherhome.It ookcareoft heguy
fol
lowingthem.inLona'smi ndshet hi
nks
Cardoditchedhim butmeandCar doknowI
kil
l
edhi m,sohecandr iveLonahome, butIt ook
herfrom abitfar
,shedidn'
tseet heotherguy '
s
carordeadbody .Itol
dCar dotogot othecar
andwai tunti
lOGcomesandcl eansthebl oody
mess.

Lona:
thanks.
Me: noprobl
em.Nextti
medon'
tgotoMzoli
'
s,
oranyshisanyama.Ify
ouwantbr
aaimeat
,I'
l
l
braaimeatforyou.
Lona:
that
'sabi
text
remedon'
tyout
hink?
Me:
no.I
t'
sthemostper
fecti
deaIhav
ehear
d
t
hewhol
eday
Lona:
mxm.I
fyouwantmetoli
stentoyouand
dowhaty
ouwanty
oualsohav
et oli
stent
ome.
Me:
Lona-
Lona:
no.Whenisaylet
'sl
eave.Pl
easel
et'
sjust
l
eaveandl
eavet
hef i
ghtsbehi
nd.
Me:Ican'
tj
ustl
eav
e.Peopl
ewi
l
llookatmel
i
ke
I
'm abi
tch
Lona:
whydoyoucareaboutwhatpeopl
esay
?
Youcoul
d'
vebeenki
l
ledther
etoday.
Me:
butI
'
m st
il
lal
i
ve.
Lona:
you'
renotl
i
steni
ngt
ome-
Me:
andInev
erwi
l
lwheni
tcomest
oyour
saf
ety.HowmuchdoIhav
etosayt
hatf
ory
ou
tounderst
and?
Lona:
mxm

Sheopenedthedoorangr i
ly.AndIj
ustchuckl
ed,
mywi f
ecanbedramat icsomet i
mes.Igotout
thecarandr
antoher .Ipull
edherquickl
y
befor
eshecouldtoucht hegate.

Me:
comeon,
don'
tbel
i
ket
hat
.*l
aughs*
Lona:
byeRel
l
ik
Me:hayhayhayuyazi
bonake.(
Nonono,
do
youseeyour
sel
f)
Lona:
*laughs*don'
ttr
yXhosaagai
n.
Me:
it'
swor
thseei
ngy
ousmi
l
e.
Lona:
bye.
Me:
bye.
Ihuggedherandkissedherfor
ehead.I
watchedhergeti
nt heyar
dandt henint
he
house.That
'swhenIwentinmycar ,anddr
ove
off
.Icall
edCardotoaskifthebodywastaken
careof.

Car
do:
Rel
l
ik
Me:
isi
ttakencar
eof
?
Car
do:
we'
redoi
ngi
tri
ghtnow.
Me:
I'
ll
bet
her
etocheckev
ery
thi
ngout
.
Car
do:
cool
.

Ihungupthecall
.Thenwentt
otheroadwher
eI
ki
ll
edtheguythatwasfol
l
owingLonaand
Cardo.

~~
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwokeupt henextmor ninganddi dmymor ning
routi
ne.ThenIwentt ot hegy m.Af t
ert hegymI
camebackhomeandwashedagai n,thenwor e
mywhi t
eshor tpoloneckdr esswi t
hacr opJean
j
acketandwhi tesandal s.Itiedmyhai rinatight
ponytailandmadebabyhai rwi thsomegel .
ThenIwal keddownst airstot heki tchent oeat
somecer eal.Thenaf terIwasdoneIwal kedto
thecampus.Iwasear lysoIr evisedt he
studyingIdi dlastnightbef or et hecrazy
i
ncidentatMzol i'
sPl ace.Ev ent uallyti
mewas
approachi ngsoIwentt oclass.Ther eIsati n
thefront.IsawKay l
aget ti
ngi nt heclass,she
l
ookedl ikehel l
.Itl
ookedl i
keshewashungov er
.
Shewaswear ingshadesandherweav ewas
messedup.Shewaswear ingj eanshor tswit
ha
pinkcroptopandpink,
whit
e,andblackcol
ored
sneakers.Il
ookedawayfr
om her,
shejustwent
al
l t
hewayt otheback.

~~

theexam waseasi ert

hanIthoughti twouldbe.
Ismi l
edbecauseIknewIdef i
nitelypassedit
.I
waswal ki
ngwi t
hmyear phonesonand
l
isteni
ngt oBey oncétheal
bum,Iwaswai ti
ng
forMul l
ertocomegetbackhesai dhe'staki
ng
meshoppi ng.Hecamet ofetchmeatt he
campusandhedr oveoff
,ont heridehemade
smal lcasualtal
kbyaskinghowt heexam was.

Me:i
twasgr eat.Ievenseea80%pass.Kayl
a
ont
heotherhandcamei nthecl
assl
ookingl
ike
agi
rlwhodidn'ttakeabathaft
erapar
ty.
Mul
l
er:
*laughs*Inev
erknewwhyy
oul
i
kedt
hat
gi
rl
.
Me:I'
m star
ti
ngtoquest
ionmyment
ali
tyt
oo.I
am happysheisoutofmyli
fe.
Mul
l
er:
arey
our
eal
l
y?
Me:
whatdoest
hatev
enmean?
Mull
er:youtal
kaboutheral
lthet
ime.She'sout
ofyourl
ifenow,sheshoul
dn'
tbesomething
you'
reobsessedwith.
Me:letmedeletehernumberandblockher
fr
om myWhat sApp.You'r
eright
.ThatKayl
a
chapteri
sov
er .

XAVI
ER
.
.
.
.
.
pl
easel
etust
aketi
met oappreci
ateXav
ier
bei
ngangr
yandsexyatthesametime
[
02/
17,
16:
42]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT13
.
.
.
×2WEEKSLATER×
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Ipoutedint heai
rport
.Iwasgoinghome.The
examswer edoneandnowIhadgobackhome
forEaster
's.Mybr ot
herscoul
dn'
tcome
becausethey'
replanni
ngaheistforanother
bank.Idi
dn'tevenwantthef
ulldetai
ls.Iwas
j
ustupsetthatIwasgoinghomeal one.Ihada
vi
deocallfr
om Xav i
erandIj
ustsmi l
edonmy
own.

Xav
ier
:It
houghty
oul
andedal
ready
.
Me:f
li
ghtgotdel
ayed.Theysai
ditshoul
dbe
r
eadyin30minut
es.
Xav
ier
:your
eal
l
yhav
etogo?
Me:
yesot
her
wisei
fIhadachoi
ceIwoul
dn'
tgo.
Xavi
er:
look,l
etmeknowifyouneedany
thi
ng.
YouknowI'l
lal
waysbether
eforyou.
Me:
it'
sjust2weeksI
'
llsur
viv
e.
Xavi
er:Iknowyoucansur
viv
eit.Ij
ustwantyou
tocal
lmei fany
thi
ngyoudon'
tl
ikehappens.
Me:andy
ou'
l
lbei
nEast
ernCapewi
thi
naf
ew
hour
s.
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*y
es.
Me:
youneedt
ost
opdoi
ngt
hat
.
Xavi
er:
callmewhenyouar
ri
vesoIknowy
ou
hav
earriv
edsaf
ely.
Me:
Iwi
l
l.By
e!
Xav
ier
:by
e.

Imadeaki ssingf aceandhungup.Nomeand

Xav i
erarenotdat i
ng.Theguyi stooext r
emei f
youaskme, andhe' smyfri
end.I magineifwe
dated?Iwoul dn'tbeal l
owedtohangi ncertain
places,he'
l
lalway saskwhereIam.Hemi ght
evenputt r
ackingdev i
cesonme.Idon' twant
that.Ili
kemypr ivacy ,
andhel ookslikethekind
ofguyt ofl
ashhi smoneyonhi sgirl
fri
endal ot.
Idon'twantthat ,Ili
kespendingmyownmoney .
That '
swhyI'mj ustkeepingXav ierasaf ri
end
becauseIwon' tlie,hereal
lyhasbeent herefor
met hroughwhat everobst
acleIhadi nmyl i
fe
theseweeks,hef ixeditformeandmadesur eI
remai nedwithasmi leonmyf ace.ButIcan't
overlookthef actthathe'solderthanme, way
older.AndMul l
erandKi ngwoul dgocrazyif
theylearnedIam dat i
ngagangst er.Idon't
wantt hat"gangsterwi f
e"li
festyl
eitistoomuch
formet ohandle.I t
'sbeen2weekswi thout
panicat t
acksandIwoul dliketokeepitthat
way .Mydest i
nat i
onwascal l
ed,soIstoodup,
didthepr ocessandwentont heplane.
~~
Iwal
kedoutwi
thmybagsandcal
l
edmydad.

Me:
tat
auphi
?(Dadwher
ear
eyou?
)
Tat
a:ndi
yeza!(
I'
m comi
ng!
)
Me:
okay
.

Ihungup.Myfatheri
sveryst
ri
cttowardsme.
Maybeit
'sbecauseIam t
heonlydaughterhe
hasandhewant sev eryt
hingofmi netogo
perfect
ly.Butsomet imesIwoul djustli
keiti
f
hewoul djustsay"i'
m proudofy ou."SoIcan
knowi fIhavedoneagoodj obornot .He
arri
vedafteranhourofmewai ti
ng.Hecame
withmyaunt ,hi
ssi ster
,andmymom.IknowI
am goingtohat ethisri
def r
om EastLondont o
KingWi l
li
amsTown.Il oadedmybagsi nthe
boot.ThenIgoti nthecar.

Me:
mol
weni
.(Gr
eet
ings)
Mama: baphi
abant
wanabam?(
Wher
ear
emy
chi
l
dren?)
Me:Khaziml
anoYangabashi
yeki
l
e,ma.
(
KhazimlaandYangast
ayedbehi
nd,ma)
Mama:
ngobakut
heni
?(Why
?)
Me:
andazi
,ma.(
Idon'
tknow,
ma)

Mymom i
stheonl
yfami
l
ymemberwhodoesn'
t
knowwhatherbel ov ed" children"ar edoi ng.The
reasonshe' ssocol dt owar dsisbecauseaf ter
shehadmeshewasdi agnosedwi thPost drum
Depr essionandshef eltnoconnect i
onatal l
withme.Soev erythingst ar tedbel i
ev ingIwasa
bewi tchedchi l
dandmymom wasal so
bewi tchedbecauseshewasaper fectmom t o
MullerandKi ngt henaf termei twasl ikeshe
wasl osi nghermi nd.Somymom st ar ted
thi
nki ngIwasbewi tchedt ooandwant ed
nothingt odowi thme, i
nherey es.Ir ui nedher
l
ifeandnowsher eferst oKi ngandMul l
eras
her" f
av orit
e"children.Ihav elear nedt oget
overi tandacceptt hatshewi l
lnev ercome
aroundandIwon' trecei v eamot her'sl ove.My
whol ef amilystartedhat ingmebecausemy
mom' sdepr essionwoul dsomet i
mesbe
extremeandshe' dj ustshutt hewhol ewor l
dout.
Shewoul dnoteat ,nott alkt oany onet hewhol e
day.Lucki l
yKingandMul lerdonotbl ameme
formom' sdepression.Theset hingshappent o
mostmot
hersbuti
nmyf
ami
l
y"si
thakat
hiwe"
(
we'r
ebewi
tched)

Thecarwasf i
l
ledwi ththem t alkingabout
thi
ngsi reall
ydidn' tcareabout .Iwassl eepyso
Isleptt hrought het hecarr i
def rom ELt oKing
WilliamsTown.I twasn' tlongt houghsomynap
wasdi sturbedwhent hecarst opped.Iwokeup
andsawwewer eal readyi ntown.West opped
atther obot s.Thent hecardr ov eof fhomei n
WestBank.Dadpar kedt hecari nsi
det heyard,
I
gotoutandt ookmy2l uggagebagsout .Iwent
i
nsi det hehouset hrought hedoort hatconnects
thegar aget othehouse.

Mom:ukhawlezekent
ombi,si
ngal
ambiukhona.
(
Huryupgir
l,weshoul
dn'
tst
arv
ewithyouhere)
Me:
ewema.(
Yes,
ma)
Thesepeopl eIcal l
myf ami lyar ever yold
fashioned.Theyt hi
nkawomani ssupposedt o
doev eryt
hingi nthehousehol dwhi l
eamanj ust
prov i
desf orhi sfami l
y .Iwoul dnev ermar ryj
ust
tobeahousewi fe.Nev er!Ipl acedmybagsi n
myr oom thenwentt ost artdi nnerf orthem.I
wasn' tgoingt oeatdi nnerbecauseI 'm onadi et
meani ngifIeatmeati thast obei ncheatday s
only.AndIcheatbyj ustonepei ce.Ifinished
cooki nganddi shedf ort hem.It ookmom &
dad'sf oodt ot hem int hei rroom.Theyt hanked
meandIwal kedoutagai n.Myauntandher
husbandhav eaf latout side.It ookt hef oodt o
them i nat r
ay .Afteral loft hat ,Iwashedt he
dishesandcl eanedt heki tchencount ers.ThenI
wentt orestinmyr oom.I twasst i
l
l 7pm andI '
m
alreadyt i
redsohar d.Ir eceivedacal lfr
om Ki ng.

Me:
pleasecomeback.
Ki
ng:
what
'sgoi
ngon?
Me:they'
reslav
ingmear ound.Daddoesn'
t
evenstopthem anymore.He'
sbecomingmore
andmor ecoldtowardsme.
Ki
ng:li
lsi
s, r
ememberdadwassi ck.Hi
m not
i
nvolvi
nghimselfi
fagoodidea.Wedonotwant
hi
mt ostresstoomuch.We'l
lbetheret
osort
ever
ythi
ngout .
Me:
fine,
when?
Ki
ng:
notsur
eyet
,may
benextweek.
Me:
ugh,
for
getIev
ersai
dany
thi
ng.
King:I
'l
lcal
lyoulat
er.Anddon'tworr
ywe'
l
lbe
theresoonerthanyouthi
nk.Loveyou.
Me:
lov
eyout
oo.

Webot hhungupandt hrewmy selfonthebed.

Somewoul dsayI'
m dramaticatleastIhavea
roofundermyheadandI 'm notphysi
call
y
abused.ButIwouldlov
esomel i
ttl
elove.I
wouldreall
ylov
eitifmymom ordadwoul djust
rockupi nmyr oom andaskmehowar emy
examsgoi ngorjustt ellmet hey'r
epr oudofme
foralway skeepi ngmyacademi csbef ore
any t
hing.ButIguesssomef ami l
i
esar enott he
sameandmyf ami l
ymaynotbet oomuch
i
nv olvedonemot ionsandI 'm beingdr amat i
c.I
playedmusi cthroughmyphoneImadei t
changedt odifferentsongswi thoutmyhav i
ng
topr essabut t
onev eryt i
me.Af t
erLaSauce
featuringAmandaBl ack" IDo"endedanot her
songpl ayed.Myhear tsankdownt omy
stomachwhenIhear di twas" Per f
ect "byEd
Sheer an.Tear sfeel downmyey e,Imi ssOmar
event houghamont hhaspassedsi ncehehas
passedaway .I'
llneverf orgett hepai nIfelt
whenIhear dthenews.Imi sshim ev eryday, I
call
edhi snumberj ustt ohearhi sv oicemai l.I
knowt hiswillnev ermakemel etgoandIneed
tobecauseOmarwoul dn' twantmet obe
depressedandcal l
i
nghi snumberj ustt oli
sten
tohisv oi
cemai l
.Iplay edt hesongagai nand
criedandcr i
edunt il If
eltli
ket hehurtwasof fa
bit.Iwassni ffi
ngandt hinkingaboutour
memor i
es.Myphoner angandIl ookedatit.It
wasXav i
er.Iletitringunanswer edbecauseI
reall
ydi dn'
twantt ot alktoany mor eright
.Ijust
wantt otal
kt oOmar .Andhe' sdead, sori
ght
nowIdon' twantt ot al
kt oany one.ButXav ier
didn'tstophekeptcal li
ngandcal l
ing.Iended
upbei ngupsett hathewoul dn' tj
ustleaveme
alone!Ir eallyappr eciatehissuppor tIreal
lydo
butIj ustneedal it
tlebr eak!

Me:
Rel
l
ikwhat
!?
Xav
ier
:moeni
efokmetmyni
e.(
Don'
tfuckwi
th
me)
Me:
Ineedt
obeal
oner
ightnow.
Xav
ier
:Idon'
tcare.Tel
lmewhat
'
swr
ongorI
'
ll
bei
ntherebytomorrow.
Me:
*si
ghs*not
hing.Iam her
esaf
e.I
'
mjust
goi
ngt
hroughmyemot
ions.
Xav
ier
:you'
rej
ustcr
yingf
ornot
hing.
Me:
yeah.
Xav
ier
:you'
reacr
ybaby
.
Me:Iknowandyouneedt oletmecr
ywhenI
wantto.AtMzol
i
'syoulookedatme,wel
lgl
ared
atmewhenIwant edt
ocr y.
Xavi
er:
becauseIknowy
ouwer en'
treal
l
ycr
ying
youj
ustdi
dn'twantmei
nthatenvi
ronment
.
Me:
onedaymyt
ear
swi
l
lwor
kony
ou.
Xavi
er:
*chuckl
es*I
'
m nott
heeasi
l
yinf
luenced
ty
pe.
Me:what
?Youalmostwenthome,don'
tact
t
oughbecausewebothy
ou'r
etoosweet.
Xav
ier
:Iam notsweet
.St
opl
yi
ng
Me:yesyouare.*l
aughs*whyar
eyoudeny
ing
i
t?It
hinkit
'snothi
ngtobeashamedof
.
Xav
ier
:Lel
ona,Iam notsweet
.Weakpeopl
e
aresweet,Iam not
.Beingsweetisaweakness
thatcangetyoukil
ledhier
.(her
e)
Me: speaki
ngofget
ti
ngki
l
led.Whowas
fol
lowingmeandCardo?Wecoul
d'
vedi
ed
becauseofhim
Xav
ier
:It
ookcar
eofi
t.
Me:
that
'snotwhatI
'
m aski
ng.
Xavier
:*l
aughs*whydoyouneedtoknow
becausehe'
llnev
erbot
heryouagai
n?
Me:
pleasedon'
ttel
lmey
ouki
l
ledhi
m..
..

Thelinewentsi
lentf
orawhile,myhear t
star
tedbeati
ngfastIwasscaredthatImaybe
thereasonbehi
ndsomeoneel se'
sdeath.

Xav
ier
:no.Justr
oughenedhi
m up.
Me:
youscar
edmet
her
e!It
houghty
oudi
d.
Xav
ier
:ifIdi
d-
Me:Iwouldhavedroppedmyphoneandnev er
t
alktoyoueveragain.Iwoul
dneverhave
f
orgi
venyoubecauseI '
dhavetheconsci
enceof
amanisdeadbecauseofme
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-

thi
siswhyIwoul dnev ertellLonawhatIdof or
her.Shehasaf ragil
ehear tandmybabycan' t
takeevery
thingin.Shecr iesal otandal ways
seesthegoodi nsomeoneandt hat'swhatIlike
anddon'tli
keabouther .Idisli
keitbecause
peoplewil
l t
akethati ntotheiradv antage
becauseshe'ssosweetandseest hegoodness
i
npeopl etheywilluseherandhur therinthe
end.Ili
keitbecauseev enthoughIki l
lpeople
anddoal lt
ypesofwr ongt hingsshest il
lsees
thegoodinmeandj ustsmi lesatmemakesmy
darkli
fehavebrightnesswi thjusthersmi l
e.
That '
swhyIdon' twanthert oknowt henumber
ofpeopl eIki l
ledforher .Wehav eknowneach
otherforlikeamont handIhav ealreadyki ll
ed3
peoplebecauseofher .BecauseofwhatIf eel
forher .Andbecauseshe' sfragile,i
t'sal soa
disadvantageIcan' tjustaskhert obemi ne
becauseshe' sstil
lcaughtupwi thfeel i
ngsf or
thatweakboyOmar .Shemaynotseei tnow,
butshef i
ndscomf or tinme.Herf eelingswi ll
starttodev elopandI '
llbeal lshewant s.Then
that'
swhenImakemymov e,becauseImake
mymov enowwhi l
eshe' sst i
ll"i
nlov e"wi th
Omar ,she'llneverful l
ycommi ttome.Shewi l
l
alway sfeelgui l
tyli
keshehasmov edont oo
fast.Andshe' l
lstartcompar i
ngmet oOmar ,
andt hatwi l
lpissmet hefuckof f.SoIwi l
lrather
waitthent ol oseherf orev
er .
~~
Iwalkedi
nsidemyuncl e'
shouseandIheard
voi
cestal
king.If
ollowedthevoi
cesanditwas
myuncleandaunt .Theywereal
llov
eydovey
wat
chi
ngTV,
Icamei
nwhi
l
etheywer
eki
ssi
ng.

Me:
okay
,It
hinkIhav
eseenenough.
Ghost
:di
smyt
uis.(
Thi
sismyhome)
Fif
i:y
ouruncl
etel
l
smet
her
e'saspeci
all
adyi
n
yourli
fe.
Me:*chuckl
es*yes.Andineedtospeakt
o
Ghostaboutsomethingur
gent.
Fi
fi
:i
t'
sal
way
sbusi
nesswi
thy
ouboy
s.I
'
llbei
n
myroom.

ShekissedGhost,
andwhenshegotuphe
grabbedherass.Ichuckl
ed.

Fi
fi
:st
op.*
blushes*

Sheki
ssedmycheekandwal
kedupst
air
sonce
Ihear
dherdoorcl
ose,
that
'swhenIst
art
ed
tal
ki
ng.

Me:
IwantKennydead.
Ghost
:woah.Notgoi
ngt
ohappen.
Me:si
ncewhenhav
eyouev
erbeenscar
edof
war
?
Ghost:y
ouknowI'm notscar
edatall.I
'
m
thi
nki
ngaboutt
heout comesofthewar .Pl
ent
y
ofpeopl
ewil
lgethurtanddiebecauseofa
stupi
dgangwar.No!
Me:Idon'tgi
veafuck.Hehasbeen
di
srespecti
ngthef
uckoutofmeandIwanthi
m
deal
twith.
Ghost:Xavi
er,y
ou'r
enotgoi
ngt okil
lKenneth.
Thinkofall
thefamil
ymember sthatwil
ldi
e.
Theinnocentpeopl
e.Andthatspecial
girl
in
yourli
fe
Me:
Icanpr
otectLel
ona.*
angr
y*
Ghost:
shewill
gethurtnomatterwhaty
out r
y.
Herfamil
ywil
lgetpull
edint
othiswhati
fyou
havebusi
nesstotakecar
eofandsheget shurt
whenyou'r
eonbusinesstri
ps?
Me:
I'
ll
takeherwi
thme.
Ghost:
Isaidno!*
yel
l
s*andwe'
renott
alki
ng
aboutt
hisagai
n.

ThenmyauntFif
iwalkedinagai
n,t
hat
'
swhenI
knewshehear
dev er
ythi
ng.

Fi
fi:You'reabouttorunt
hegang.Youhaveto
l
ear nthatsometimesnotdoi
nganythingi
s
doingal ot.Murderdoesal
wayssolveever
y
problem.
Me:soIshouldl
ethi
m disr
espectme?People
wi
ll
thinkI
'm apussy
.Ineedtosorthi
m out
.
Fi
fi
:therei
snowarthati
sgoi
ngtohappen!We
hadtrucewit
hthem y
ear
sagoandwe'r
enot
br
eaki
ngi
t!
Me:we?Si
ncewhenwer
eyouapar
toft
he
gang?
Ghost
:hey
!Eksal
joubenebr
eek!(
I'
ll
breaky
our
l
egs)
Fif
i:noI'm notinthegangbutal l
thebul lshi
t
youdocost sus,t
hewi ves.Wegetki dnapped,
wegetat tacked,alltypesofdanger shappent o
usjustbecausewef ellinlovewith"gangst ers"
themi nutewef al
linl ovewi t
hgangst ers.We
areinthegangbecausewegethur ttoosoy ou
guyscanf eel t
heemot i
onalpainfrom our
physicalpain.Don'tst ar
tsomet hingy our
specialgir
,Lelonawi llplayfor.Besmar tabout
yourmov esnowRel lik.Thinkasaboss, notas
asecondi ncommandwher eyouwantt okill
everyone.
Me: i
sn'
tthatwhyI
'
m Rell
ik?Iam aKill
er.I
t'
s
whoIam andIwon'tchangemyselfbecause
I
'm abouttobeaboss.
Fi
fi
:well
youneedt
o.Nowar
,that
'
sthef
inal
say
.
Ri
ghtbaby?
Ghost
:yes.

Theypeckedeachot herslips.Iwasannoy edby

theirlovesomuchIst oodupandwentf ora
smoket ocal
m myner vesdown.Whi lesmoki ng
IthoughtabouthowKennycoul dfindLona
sinceshe'sinEasternCapenowandIcan' t
protectherli
keIwantt o.IcalledKurttocheck
wher eKenny'swhereabout swer eifhewasi n
East ernCapethenI'
llsendJRt owatchmywi fe
l
ikeahawkt oensureshe' sallsafeandnothing
happenst oherwhi l
eshe'st here.

Kur
t:Rel
l
ik.
Me:fi
ndoutifKennyi
ssti
ll
int
own,
Ineedan
answeri
nlessthanaday
.
Kur
t:okay
.
Ihungupandwentbackt
othehouseandFi
fi
wasprepar
ingl
unch.

Fif
i:si
tdown, I
'
llmakeyousomethi
ngtoo.I
wanty outotel
lmeallaboutt
hisgi
rlt
hathas
yougoi ngcr
azy.

Ij
ustchuckl
edandsatdownasshepr oceeded
fi
nishi
ngthemealonthekitchencount
er.Then
Istart
edt
ell
ingheraboutLelona
~~
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-

Iwokeupthefoll
owingdayfeel
i
ngreal
lysleepy.
Idi
dn'
tenj
oymysl eepatal
l.Andontopoft hatI
havet
owakeupear lytodomychores.Thisis
whyIhat
ereturni
nghome.Theyaretrai
ning
metobethe"perf
ectwi
fe"andIjustwantt
osi
t
downandtextonmyphoneallday.

Mama: ukhawl
ezekentombi,f
unekasiy
e
kwaShopri
tephaeMall
.(Hur
ryupgirl
,wehav
e
togotoShopri
teatt
hemal l
)
Me:
it'
sChecker
s.
Mama:
heh?(
What
?)
Me:
nguChecker
smamal
owo.
Mama:
bay
afanawet
hu.(
they
'r
eal
i
ke)

IwantedtodisagreebutIknewitwouldbea
neverendingl
ectureabouthowIthinkI
'm bet
ter
becauseitknowmor esoIjustchuckl
edand
smiled.

Mama:ukheunxibeilokweLel
ona,
kushushu.
(
weardressesLelona,i
t'
shot)
Me:
ewemama.(
Yesmom)
Mama: ikhonaeny
ebendikuthengel
eyona
uzoyi
thanda( t
her
e'sonethatIboughtf
oryou
you'
l
lloveit)
~~
Iwasst roll
ingthroughChecker slookingf orthe
perfectsaucesf ormymot herwhoi sv erypicky!
Iwaswear ingthedr esssheboughti twasabi t
cream andy el
l
ow.I twasnott i
ghtnorwasi ttoo
baggy .Itwasshor tt hough.Iletmyhai rl
oose.
Fi
nal l
yaf terIfoundt het heSpursauceshe
want edIr ant othet i
llsandshewasst i
lli
nl i
ne.
Wepai dt henwentt ot hecar .Aft
erIloaded
everythingi nthecarwedr ov eoff.

Mama: ukheufikeucl
ean'
eeza'
curt
ainskudal
a
zimdakakodwangoku!(Whenwear ri
veclean
thecurt
ains.Theyhavebeendi
rt
yforalong
ti
me)
Imumbledundermybr
eat
hfr
ust
rat
edt
hatIam
asl
aveapha.

Me:
haynindi
capukel
akakubi
apha(y
ouhat
e
mebadl
yhere)
Mama:
andi
va?(
Par
don?
)
Me:
andi
thet
hi,
ma.(
I'
m notsay
ingany
thi
ng,
ma)
Mama: Lelonasi kufundisi
le,ezi
pahlauzi nxibayo
kungexayetu, utyaukut yakwendl uy am, zange
walambaebomi ni bakhobonke.Zangewal al
a
ugodolangexay etuuphi ndeuthisiyakucapukel a
ngobasikut huma!?Hayukheundi bide.Ngoba
sif
unanjei breakekusebenzeni uthi
siy
akucapukel a?Sasi nganikwaneBr eak'i
ke
thi
namnandi yakuy ekaukheuphol eul alaemi ni
kodwauy andi xelelabandi yakucapukel a.Inoba
awulazineligamacapukel ali
melent oni nj
eba
uli
sebenzisanj e.(Lelonawegav ey ouan
educat i
on, thosecl ot
hesy ouwearbecauseof
us,youeatt hef oodinmyhouse, youhav e
neverst arvedy ourentir
el i
fe.Younev erfelt
coldbecauseofusandy ousaywehat ey ou
becauseweor dery ouaround!?No, youconf use
mesomet i
mes.Becauseweonl ywantabr eak
fr
om t hewor k, andy ousaywehat ey ou.We
werenev ergiv enbr eaks,andIl etyousl eepin
middaybuty out el
lmeIhat ey ou.May bey ou
don'tev enknowwhatt hewor dhat emeans
you'r
ej ustusi ngi t
.)

Ir
egret
tedev
ensay
ingthatbecauseIknewan
l
ectur
ewasontheway.Iwil
lneverheart
heend
oft
his.

.
.
.
.
.
Pleasetagpeopletor
eadt hest
ory
,sharei
t,l
i
ke
i
t,invi
tepeopl
e.Doany t
hingyoucan,Iwoul
d
reall
yappreci
ateit
[
02/
17,
16:
43]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT14
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-

i
twasal r
eady3pm andt heloadofthenew
gir
lswasescor tedoutofthebigtr
uckandinto
thebigship.TheywerebeingshippedtoAsia.I
am invol
vedinhumant r
affi
cki
ngdeali
ngs
becauseitbringsinalotofmoneyaswel l
especi
all
ywhenyouconv er
tit
.Thegi
rl
swer
e
al
lchainedandcr
ying.Tear
sdon'
twor
konme
atall
.

Me:
that
'sal
loft
hem?
OG:
yeah.
Me:
theyar
e50gi
rl
s,
meani
ng2ar
emi
ssi
ng
OG:
Rel
l
ik-
Me:fi
ndthem qui
ckl
yoryou'
ll
loseyourhands
si
nceyoucan'
tusethem pr
operl
y.
OG:
theyescapedand-
Me:
don'
tweputt
racker
sonal
lgi
rl
s?
OG:
wedobut
-
Me:don'tf
uckwit
hmymoney,
OG.CallKur
tto
t
rackthem.Thosegi
rl
sar
ewort
halotofmoney.
OG:
yes,
boss.
Hehurri
edtomakeaphonecall.Idon'tl
ikei
t
whenpeopleplaywit
hmoney.Iam ar i
chman
becauseIl
earnednottopl
aywit
hmoney .I
fI
l
oseR150000becauseofOG.I 'l
lki
llhim.
~~
Final
lythegir
lswerefoundandboughtbackto
theship.Theywerescreaming,
shouti
ngand
kicki
ngbutOGknockedt hem outandtheywer
e
putintheship.

Me:t
heshipneedstohurr
yup,we'r
ealready
l
atei
nthedeadli
neandthepol
icecoul
dcome
i
nanyminute.

Just30mi nut
esafter
,theshipwasgone.I
drovebackhome.Thet imewasnow5: 04pm so
Iatesomef oodandwat chedsomesoccer.
Aftert
hemat ch,
Itext
edLona.Iwasmi ssi
ng
herabit.
Me:
howar
ethi
ngsi
ntheEC?
wi
fey
:gr
eat
,justgr
eat
.
Me:
wantt
otal
kabouti
t?
wif
ey:wel
lmymom heardmesayt
heyhateme
andshe'
sbeenshout
ingi
nherr
oom ev
ersince.
Me:
whathappened?
wifey:
they'
reslav
ingmear oundandIj
ustsaid
theyhateme,shewasof fendedandst
art
ing
givi
ngmeal ectureal
langry.Nowshelocked
hersel
finherroom,andshehasbeenshout i
ng.
Me:
nowIseewhyy
ou'
resof
ragi
l
e.
wi
f ey
:yes,becauseshe'salway sshout
ingand
or
deringmear oundl i
keI'
mf orcedtodo
every
thinghere.I
t'
sl i
keshe'
snotmymom, we
ar
enot hingal
ike.She'st
oobossyand
j
udgement al
.Wayt oodif
ferentfr
om me.
Me:
butshest
il
ll
ovesy
ou.I
t'
stoughl
ove
wif
ey:
shehasafunnywayofshowingi
t.She
hat
esme.Youwouldn'
tunder
stand.
Me:
yeah,
Iwoul
dn'
t.

Shebl
uet
ickedme.Ihat
eitwhenshedoesthat
.
Iwant
edtocall
herbutKur
tsentamessage.

Kur
t:he'
sst
il
li
nher
e,butmysour
cesay
she'
s
l
eavi
ngtowntomor
row.
Me:
wher
eishegoi
ng?
Kur
t:t
hesour
cedi
dn'
tment
ioni
t.It
hinkt
ohi
s
home.

Fuck!NowIneedt ogosendoneofmyguy s
ther
etokeepLonasaf e.andmakesur eKenny
doesn'
tevengetclosetoher.I'
ll
sendabout5
guyswithJRincaseKennyandhi sgangwantto
star
tsomethi
ngt henI'
l
lreal
lyshowhim what
I'
m madeof .Heclearl
yunder est
imat esme,just
becauseofaf ucki
ngtruce.Ismokedweedt o
calm mysel
fdownaf ter3jointsthat'
swhenI
knewIwashi gh.Imissedmywi fe'
sf aceand
voicesoIvideocall
edher.Shedi dn'tanswerat
all
.Itr
iedher5timesandshedi dn'tanswerat
all
.Icall
edJR.

JR:
bozza(
boss)
Me:roundt
heboy
sup,
we'
regoi
ngt
othe
East
ernCape.
JR:
fedef
ede,
boss.(
Shar
pshar
p,boss)

Idroppedthephonecallandwentt ot hemy
room topack.Ionl
ytookneededcl othessothe
packingonlytookme1hour .Aft
erpackingI
tri
edv i
deocall
ingLonaagain.Shepickedup
andIwasangr ythatshedidn'tt
hefir
stt i
me.
Me:whythef
uckdi
dn'
tyouanswert
hephone,
Lel
ona!
?
Lona:*sni
ff
s*XavierI
'mreal
lynoti
nthemood
togetshoutedbecauseIhav
ejustbeen
shout
edr i
ghtnow.
Me:
Iam comi
ngt
othatt
own.
Lona:
what
!?No!
Me:
whynot
?
Lona:
whyar
eyoucomi
ngov
erher
e?
Me:becauseyouhavebeencr
yingfor2days
st
rai
ght.Andi
tseemslikeMul
lerandKing
ar
en'
tgoingtobebacksoon.
Lona:
butdon'
tyouhav
est
ufft
odo?*
sni
ff
s*

Ichuckl
edshesaysshedoesn'
twantmet
her
e,
butherpout
ingandcry
ingt
ell
smeshewants
met her
e.
Me:areyoucryi
ngbecauseyouwantmet her
e,
orar
ey oucr
yingbecauseyougotshout
ed?
Lona:
don'
tfl
att
ery
our
sel
f.*
smi
l
es*
Me:
final
l
yasmi
l
e.
Lona:I
'
m ser
ioust
hough,
donotcomeher
e.I
'
m
fi
ne.
Me:yousayyou'
refi
ne,
buty
oucr
yingi
snot
say
ingyou'
refi
ne.
Lona:y
ouknowI
'
m acrybaby
.I'
mjustgoi
ng
thr
oughmyemot
ions.
Me:
*chuckles*y
ouareoneoft
hestrangest
f
emalesIknow.Cry
ingj
ustf
orcry
ing?
Lona:mxm,Ihavetogo.Ihav
etost
artf
ini
sh
cooki
ng.I
'
llcal
lyoul
ater
.
Me:
shar
p
Lona:
anddon'
tcomeher
e.
Me:
notpr
omi
sing
Lona:
Xav
ier
-
Me:
byeLona.
Lona:
mxm,
bye.

Ichuckledthenwebothhungup.I'
m st
il
lgoi
ng
toEasternCapebecauseIneedtomakesure
Kennydoesn'ttr
yanythi
ngtoher
.Becausehe
alsol
ivesinKingWil
li
amsTown
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Ismil
edafterthevi
deocallbecausenomat ter
howmuchhesay stearsdon'taff
ecthi
m, as
soonIcr
yhe' swil
li
nglytofl
yandcomesee
what'
sbotheringme.Hecar esformejustas
muchasIcar eforhim.Iwentt otheki
tchen
andf i
nishedcooki ngt hemincemeat.Ther i
ce
andv eggieswer ealreadydone, nowal lIhadto
dowasdi shupf orev eryoneandwasht he
di
shes.Idi djustthat,thenafterthedishes.I
wentt omyr oom, tomor r
owIhav etogetmy sel
f
somev eganfoodt oeatbecauseImi ghtdi ein
hungerher e.Icouldn'tstandmyhungersoI
mademy sel
fsomeboi l
edeggsandt ooksome
bread.

Mama:
wenzant
oni
?(Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
)
Me:ndenzaamaqandaa'
boi
l
'i
wey
omama.(
I'
m
makingboi
ledeggsmama)
Mama:ukut
yaokuukupheki
l
eyokut
heni
?(what
i
swrongwit
hthefoodyoumade?)
Me:
I'
m onadi
et.
Mama:
i'
di
et*
laughs*

Shewasmaki
ngi
nthesenoi
seswhi
l
eshewas
l
aughing.Sher
eal
lyl
aughedli
keItol
dagood
j
oke,i
tmademef eel
sooffended.ButIf
aked
l
i
ttl
elaughs.

mama: kawut
shokeuy
iqal
eni
nil
e'di
et
*chuckl
es*(
sotel
lmewhendidyoustar
tthi
s
diet
)
Me:
ngoJanuar
y.(
InJanuar
y)
Mama:yil
ontouhli
l
eeWei ght
inbendizixel
elaba
i
nobautshayai
ntsangonalaKaylandini(that'
s
whyyouhavelostweightIwastell
i
ngmy self
maybeyou'r
esmokingweedwi ththatKay l
a)
Me:akay
otshomi
yam ngoku(
she'
snotmy
f
ri
endnow)
Mama: wazewabonai l
ightlomntana.Jongake
ntombi,aphaendl i
niy
am kut y
iwalento
i
phekiweyof orwonkeumnt u.(fi
nall
ythi
schil
d
seesthelight.Lookgir
l,hereinmyhousewe
eatfoodthatwascookedf orevery
one)
Me:
kodwamama-(
butmom-
)
Mama: hey!Sundi
phambanelaLelona!
Uzokwenzaezontozakhozokuziphakamisapha
eKapa!(Don'
tgocrazyonmeLel ona!You'l
ldo
yourst
uckupt hi
ngsinWesternCape!
Me:
okay
.
Mama:
okay
,ba?(
Okay
,who?
)
Me:
okay
,mama.
Mama:ci
maesostove'
unaleket
il
e(t
urnof
f
t
hatst
oveandt
hiskett
le)

IdidasIwast ol
dwit
hmyhear tbr
okenint
oa
mill
ionpieces.Iwasnottr
yingt omakemy sel
f
l
ookl i
keI'm bett
ert
hanthem Idon'teatt
heir
food,butI'
m onadiet.ButIguesst omymom,
I'
ml yi
ngandIam beingstuckup.Iwasaboutt o
gotomyr oom whenshepul l
edmeback.
Mama:
ity
aokukut
ya(
eatt
hisf
ood.
)
Me:
mama-
Mama:hey!I
tyaokukut
yauyekel
entouyenzay
o!
(
Eatt
hisfoodandstopyouaredoi
ng!)

Sheroughlypul
ledmetowar dsthekit
chen
counter
.Shetookmyplateandopenedi twit
h
somuchf orceIwasshockedt hatshewasthi
s
angrybecauseIwoul
dn'teatthefood.

Tat
a:kwenzakant
oni
apha(
what
'
shappeni
ng
her
e?)
Me:
tat
a-(
dad-
)
Mama: l
omntanauzenzauml unguapha
akakut
yiukut
yaesikut
yayo.(
Thischil
disact
ing
l
ikeawhitepersonshedoesn'teatf
oodweeat.)
Me:andi
zami ukuz
enzabeter
emama,qha
ndi
kwi'
di
et.(
I'
m nottr
yingt
omakemyselfst
uck
upbutI
'
m onadi
et)
Mama:
uyaxokaman!*
yel
l
ing*(
you'
rel
yi
ng!
)
Tata:
Lelona,
iyaeroominyakho.Ndizothet
ha
nomamawakho.( Lelona,
gotoy ourroom.Iwil
l
tal
ktoyourmother.)

Iwenttomyr oom wi
thtear
s,Iqui
ckl
ywi
ped
them.Icoul
dhearthei
rargumenti
nmyroom.

Mama:umoshweni
nil
omnt ana!Ni
yamtef
isa!
(
youar
erui
ningt
hechi
ld!You'r
ebaby'
ingher)
Tat
a:usengumtanauLel
ona!Una18(
Lel
onai
s
st
il
lababy.She'
s18!)
Mama: uzot
yalentosiyi
tyayookanyeubuyel
a
aphaavelakhona!(She'
l
l eatwhatwe'
reeati
ng
orshe'
l
l gobacktowher eshecamef r
om.)

Ideci
dedt
oputonear
phonest
ozonet
hem out
,
Itookoutmyj ournal andst artedwr it
ingabout
howmymot herjusthat esmel ikeIdi dn'tcome
outofherwomb.Shesay sshedoesn' that eme
butheract ionssayt heopposi teofherwor ds.I
am hungr y,andIam bei ngt reat edlikeasl avein
myownhome.Mybr othersar en'tev enher et o
def endme.I t'
sl i
ket hewhol ef amilyisagai nst
me.Iam sur edadwi l
l t
akehersi deandi wi l
l
j
ustst arvefort oday .Thent omor rowIwi llwake
upandeatcer eal.Iwi shXav ierwasher e,he
woul d'v
epar kedout sideandt ookme
somewher ewher eIcoul dhav eboughtf oodt o
actuallyeat.Hewoul djustmakemyday
brighterwithhi sraresmi leandheal way slicks
hi
sl i
psfir
stthenl ooksatmewi ththemost
amazi ngey esev erandgi v esmeal ookIcan' t
descr i
bethenhej ustchuckl es.Buther arel y
l
aughsagenui nel augh.I fhedoest henhe' ll
fi
rstshakehi sheadl ookingdownandl augh.I t'
s
suchagoodl ookonhi m.Whenhesmi l
es,I
don' tt
hinkany onenot icesbuthi slowert eet h
alsoappearwhenhesmi les.Andhi sey eslitup,
that'swhyIwanthi mt osmi l
eforev erbecauseI
j
ustl ov ehissmi l
e.Iclosedmyj our nal smi l
i
ng
afterwr iti
ngaf ul lparagraphaboutXav i
er.I
don' tknowwhati shappeni ngtomebutImi ss
him.I '
m usedt ohi m calli
ngme.Car dopl usme
meet inghi mi nt own" randoml y"butIknow
Car doal way st ellshim aboutourwher eabout s.
IwentonmyWhat sAppanddeci dedt oposti n
myst atus.Ibl ockedMul l
erandKi ngf irstfr
om
seei ngmyst atusesbef oreIcoul dev enpost
thatpi cture.Itwasapi ctureofmeandXav ier
whenhet ookmeoutf orsomei ce-cream af ter
Omar '
smemor ialfuneral.Icaptionedi t"Imiss
you "t henIl ookedatmyphone.I twas
bor i
ng.Nownewmessagesatal lfrom any one.
Thenmyphonev i
bratedandIwasshockedt o
recei veaWhat sAppmessagef rom Zi khona.My
hear tt oldmenott oopeni tbutmycur iosi
tyand
mi ndt oldmet oopeni t.SoIdi d.
Zee :
soy
ou'
reoneofRel
l
ik'
sbi
tchesnow?

Shewasr eplyi
ngtothepictureIpost
ed.Iknew
ri
ghtawayt hatshemusthav esenta
screenshottoher"f
ri
end"Kay l
a.Idi
dn'
twantto
replybutIwaspissedoffthatshewouldinmy
business.

Me:
howdoest
hatconcer
nyou?
Zee :awuzi
thandint
ombi emt
winiwomnt
u
(y
oudon'
tl
oveyoursel
fdat
ingatakenman)
Me:Iwoul
dn'
tst
oopt
oyourl
evel
.Iknowmy
wor
th.
Zee :knowy ourwort
h?Haylol! thenwhy
arey
oufucki
ngKayla'
slef
tov
ers?PhofKayl
a'
s
man.
Ij
ustlookedatmyphoneinshock.Kay
lais
dat
ingXav i
er?I
sn'
tshedati
ngScrappy?

Me:
they
'r
enotdat
ing.
Zee :Ibethetol
dyouthatl
ie.y
ou'l
lal
way
s
behi
shoenothi
ngmore.Acceptthat
Me:
mxm.

ThenIblockedher.IwasmoreangrythatKayla
andXavierhadsex.InmyangerItookal otof
scr
eenshotsfrom ourchat
sthensentthem to
Xavi
er.

Me:
pleaset
ell
met
hisi
sn'
ttr
ue.

Hedidn'
treply
.Itwasonetickmeaninghe's
off
li
ne.Itri
edcall
i
nghim butitwentstrai
ghtt
o
voi
ce-mai
l.Ipacedupanddownmyr oom.I
can'
tbel
i
eveKay
lahadsexwi
thXav
ier
!
.
.
.
-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Ithr
ewmyphoneont hecouch.Iwasupset
abouttheconv ersat
ionZi khonahadwi t
hLelona.
Moreupsett hatshebl ockedmebecauseIwas
abouttogiveherapi eceofmymi nd.Zi
khona
evensentmet hepictur eandIl ookedatit
.He
wassmi l
ing,li
keact uallysmi l
ingnotamean
smil
ethatheal way shasbutagenui nehappy
smil
e.Timet ogett hisbi tchoutofhisli
fe.
There'
snowayshe' sgoi ngtoplaythewiferole
tomyman.It ext
edSky l
arthepi ct
ureofRell
i
k
andLona.
Me: sher eall
ydidn'
tcareaboutOmar .Ithas
onlybeenl ikewhat?Amont handshe' salr
eady
mi ssinganotherman.Shenev erposteda
pictureofOmarnorev ensaidR. I
.Ptohim.
She'sr eall
ywrongforthis.Ican'
tbeli
ev eshe'
s
l
iket his.ThankGodIst oppedbeingf ri
ends
withher .

Withi
n30minut
esSky
larr
eadt
hemessage,
and
sherepl
i
ed.

Skyl
ar : IneverknewLonawasabi t
chlike
thi
s!Iam trulyhur
tbythi
s.Omarlov
edherso
muchy etshegoesandf uckswit
hadirtylow
l
ifegangster.She'
safool,
Ihopehetakeshis
angeroutonherandki l
lsherf
orbei
ngl i
kethis.
Me:she'
sreal
lyabadper
sont
hatl
ovespl
ayi
ng
vi
cti
mt oever
ythi
ng.
Sky
lar :
she'
l
lpayf
ort
his.Iwantherso
humi
li
atedthatshe'
ll
regr
etplay
ingmyf
ri
end
l
iket
hatevenafterhi
sdeath.
Me:r
ight
!Shecoul
dn'
twaitacoupl
emore
mont
hs.Maybeshedidn'
tevenwantOmar,
he
wasj
ustatoytoher
.Sheneedstopayforthi
s.

Skyl
ardi
dn'
trepl
y,Iwai
tedf
orhert
hen10
minut
eslat
ershedid.

Sky
lar
:checkOmar
'sf
acebookaccount
.

Iquicklywentt oFacebookandsear chedfor

Omar 'saccountIwasf oundapi ct
ureSky l
ar
postedi twast hepicturei senttoherandshe
taggedOmarandLona.Wi ththecaption"i
t
hasn'tev enbeen2mont hsandal r
eadyshehas
mov edonf r
om myf ri
end.Whatahoe "I
l
aughedsuperhar d,andsmi l
ed.Atthisrat
e,
Lonawi llprobablynotfinishthisyear.Iwil
lnot
beshockedi
fsheki
l
lsher
sel
f.She'
stoof
ragi
l
e
any
way .

Me:Skylar
! you'
resogood.Iwonderhow
she'
llf
eeli
fevery
oneoncampussawt hepicof
herandXavierwri
ttenHOEonit
Skylar
:I'
m goi
ngtodothat especi
all
yonour
fi
rstdayback.Thi
sbi
tchmessedwit
hthe
wrongone.

Ismiled.Sky l
arwaseasyt omani pul
ate,so
easy.Itri
edcal l
ingKhany iagainbecauseI
missedher .Butasal way sv oi
ce-mail
.Ihaven'
t
seenheraf tertheclubi ncident.Iheardshe
wasatherboy fri
end'shouseandhei snowher e
tobef oundandhert oo.Ihopesher eturnsnext
semest erbecauseImi ssher .Shewoul dbe
givi
ngmei deasr i
ghtnow.Ihopeshe' sfine
wherev ersheis.Idon'tev enknowher
grandmot her'
snumberbecauseIwoul d'
v e
cal
l
edt
oaskwher
eshei
s..
.
~~
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Igotupwi thmyst omachupset ti
ngi tself.Iwas
hungrysomucht hatIhadaheadache.Iwoke
upandt het i
mewas3am.Isneakedt othe
kit
chent otakesomebr eadandmakej ui
cethen
Isneakedt omyr oom again.Iatet hebr ead
thendrankjuice.Ifrownedt hi
nkingaboutwhat
I'
m doing.Iam sneakingaroundt akingf oodin
myownhome.Af terIwasdone, Iwassi lent
ly
cryi
ng.Icouldn'tt
akei tanymore.IcalledMul ler
becauseIknowhe' l
lreactandhe'lldo
somethingoutf ast.WhileKingwoul dwantme
total
kwi thmom
Mul
l
er:
lel
ona.
..*
tir
ed*

Icoul
dhearhewasst
il
lti
redf
rom sl
eepi
ngbutI
wassaidsoIwassni
ff
edtodoshowhi m Iwas
wascryi
ng.

Mul
l
er:
kwenzekant
oni
?(What
'
sgoi
ngon?
)
Me: shewoul dn'tal
lowmet omakef ood
becauseIam onadi et.Shewantedtof orceme
toeat.Shel i
terall
ypul l
edmer oughlytoeat .I
fit
wasn'tforDad, shewoul dhaveforcefull
y
pushedt hespoonwi thfoodinmymout h.I
didn'
teatatal landIhadt owakeupatt histime
tosneakt otheki t
chenandgetf ood.* cri
es*I
wantt ocomebackt oCapeTown.
Mull
er:I
'l
ltal
ktoher .Don'tworry,shewon'
tdo
anyt
hingelseagain.Utheninaumama( what'
s
wrongwithmama? )I'
l
lsendy oumoneyandy ou
cangotot heshopst ogetany t
hingyouwantto
eat
.Okay
?We'
l
ltal
kbet
terl
ateron.
Me:
okay
.Lov
eyou.
Mul
l
er:
lov
eyout
oo.

WebothhungupandIt ri
edsleepingbuti
twas
nouse,Iwasnott
iredatall
.Itr
iedcall
i
ngXavi
er
agai
nlucki
lyt
hist
imeheanswer ed.

Me:
final
l
y!
Xav
ier
:sor
ry,
Iwasbusy
.
Me:
oh,
Icancal
lnextt
ime.
Xav
ier
:was,
pastt
ense.What
'sup?
Me:
whatdoy
oumeanwhat
'
sup?
Xavier:
younevercal
lme.I'
m usual
l
ytheone
thatcall
syou,sothatmeansyouneedsome
seri
ouscheeri
ngupory ou'
rebei
ngacrybaby
andy oumissme.
Me:
I'
m st
il
lmadaty
ou.
Xav
ier
:Idi
dn'
tfuckt
hathoe.
Me:
wel
lthat
'snotwhatIhear
d-
Xavi
er:wellyouneedtost opbeliev
ingever
y one.
That'
swhyy ougethur tsoeasil
ybecausey ou
l
etpeoplecont r
olyoubyy ouremot i
ons.Why
wouldIli
eaboutf ucki
ngKay l
a?Ev eryonehas
hadher,Idon'twanther.Shet r
iedtofuckme
butIdocurvedher .
Me:
I..
.Ibel
i
evey
ou.I
t'
sjustt
hatKay
la-
Xavi
er:Kayl
anothi
ng.I
'
m sureyoucal
ledmefor
somethingmoreimpor
tantr
athert
hanKayl
a.
Me:
I'
m st
arv
ingt
hat
'swhyIcal
l
ed.
Xav
ier
:what
?*chuckl
es*
Me:mymom wentcr azyonmeandI'
m not
al
lowedtoeatunlessIeatfoodt
hati
sthesame
asever
yoneelse'
s.
Xav
ier
:gi
vemey
ouraddr
essandI
'
llcomepi
ck
y
ouupt
omor
rowt
ogetsomef
ood.
Me:myaddr
ess?You'
l
lpi
ckmeupt
omor
row?
Whatar
eyousayi
ngXavi
er?
Xavier
:I'
m her
e.Imustsay
,yourt
owni
sn'
tal
l
thatgr
eat.

Heeeh!Itol
dhi
m heshoul
dn'
tcomeandhej
ust
di
dn'tl
ist
entome.
[
02/
17,
16:
43]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT15
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Af
termycallwi
thXav i
erIdeci
dedtogetsome
sl
eep,2hour
slaterIwokeupagainbecauseof
myalarm.Ir
ushedtodomymor ni
ngrouti
ne
thenwor eablacksweat s,wi
thmynew
sneakers,t
hatXav ierbought
.Ihav etogivehim
hisR1100backf orreal
.Imademy sel
fcereal
andquicklyatebef oremymom wakesupand
wantstost ar
tdramaagai n.Iquickl
ycleaned
thehouse,andaf terIwasdone.Iwentt osit
underat r
ee,Ireceivedanotif
icati
onsaying
someonesentmeR1000i nmyaccount ,Iknew
i
twasMul l
er.

Mama:
Lel
ona!*
shout
s*
Me:
ma!
Mama:
izaapha.(
Comeher
e)

Igotupfrom mychai
rthenwenttoher,she
l
ookedangry.WhenIwasclosetoher,she
sl
appedmehar d.IwassoshockedIheldonmy
cheek.Ihav
ebeenbeatenbefor
ebymymom.
BecauseIhavewokenuptoolateandthe
houseisdir
ty,orIwastedgrocer
iesbyburni
ng
thefoodIcookormaki ngthekit
chendirt
yand
l
eavingitdi
rty
.buttodayIwasshocked
becauseIdidn'
tdoany t
hing.Atl
eastIdon'
t
thi
nkIdidanything.

Mama: bubuxoki
bantoniobuubuxel
ela
umntanawam! ?(Whatli
esareyoutel
li
ngmy
chi
l
d? !
)

IguessMullercal
ledher
,andifI'
mr ighthe
shoutedatherbecauseshelet
shim do
anythi
ngevenshoutatherbutifIlookather
funnyshe'
ll
beatmeup.

Me:
mama-
Mama: hey
!Sundi
nyel
aendliniyam, Lel
ona!
Ungakheuli
nge!I
ntoengasozey enzeke
kuphat
hwanguwemnt anandini(don'tshi
ton
meinmyhouse, Lelona!Don'tyoudar
e!
Somethingt
hatwill
nev erhappenisbei
ng
cont
rol
ledbyyou,youchi l
d!)
Me:
ndi
yakuv
amama(
Iheary
oumama)
Mama: khawsukephambikwam tchin!Uzukhe
uxokekuKhazi
mlaubonebaandi zokubethel
a
i
ntoeyiyona.(
Getoutofmysi ght!Idar
ey outo
tel
lKhazi
mlali
esthatIbeatyouup, andseeifI
won'tr
eall
ybeatyouup)

Inoddedandwal kedawayf rom her.Iwent

backt ositinthechair
, Ihadt ear
sinmyey es.
Myf atherisgoneandmyauntwoul dnever
standupt omymom t heyar ebestfri
ends.My
uncleisalsogonet owor k.Il
ookedatmycheek
throughmyf r
ontcamer aandi tl
ooklikepi
nk
andr edbruise.Idoubtitwi l
lbeaper manent
bruise.May beinafewhour sitwill
godown.I
didn'twanttocallMullerbecauseIknowmy
mom i sseriousshe'l
lreallybeatmeup.Wor se
thanthi
sli
ttl
ebr ui
se.Myphoner anganditwas
Muller
.IbreathedsoIdon'tshowt hatIhave
beencryi
ng.Ianswer edi
taft
eritwasr i
nging
foralongti
me.

Mul
l
er:
yougott
hemoney
?
Me:
yes,
thanky
ou.
Mul
l
er:
Ital
kedt
omom.
Me:
Iknow.
..
Mull
er:
howaboutyoufi
ndaB&Bt henletme
knowwhichoneI
'
llcov
erthecost
s.Justunt
ilI
gett
here.
Me:
shesl
appedme.
Mull
er:
what!
?May beIneedtocomeback
homeandreal
lysortt
hisout
.
Me:
no.I
t'
sokay,
I'
llj
ustf
indtheB&B,
she'
l
lbeat
meupi
fyouconfr
onthernow.
Mul
l
er:
*si
ghs*okay
,I'
l
lpayf
ort
hepl
ace.And
don'
tdoany
thi
ngcr
azy
.
Me:
Iwon'
ttr
ytoki
l
lmy
sel
f.Don'
twor
ry.
Mul
l
er:
okayki
d,Il
ovey
ou.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
ooBr
o.

Webot hhungupandIwassobor edthatIwent

onI nstagram t ocheckmyf eed.Thatgotbor i
ng,
IwentonmyFacebook.IsawIwast aggedi na
postbySky lar.Myey espoppedoutwhenIsaw
thatitwasal sopictureofmeandXav ier.How
didsheev engeti t?Iquicklyremov editbutit
wasnouse,mostpeopl esawi t.Ther ewer e
plentyofcomment sthatwer ehur t
fultome.I
foundmy selfcr y
ingandIdeact ivatedmy
Facebookaccount .Ididn'
tev enwantt oseet he
restoft hosecomment s.Howdi dSky largetthe
pictureshedoesn' tevenhav emynumber !Isee
Zikhonabehi ndthis!Irecei
v edacal l
from
Xav i
er.Idroppedhi scallupsett hathangi ngout
withhim al way sbringsmet rouble!Hecal led
agai
nandIjustdr
oppedi
t.Hedi
dn'
tunder
stand
andhesentamessage.

Xavier :
answert
hef
ucki
ngt
hephone.
I
'm notpl
ayi
ngwit
hyou.

Idi
dn'
trepl
ytoi
t,hesentmeamessageagai
n.I
j
ustsi
ghedwipi
ngmyt ear
s.

Xavier :I
'm goi
ngt
otr
ackyourphone,
so
i
fyouknowwhat '
sgoodfory
ouyou'
llanswer
yourfucki
ngphone.

Hecal l
edmeagai n.ifhecomesher emymom
willcauseabigdeal outofi t
.ButthenXav i
eri
s
j
ustplayinghewoul dn'tdothat.Itol
dhim how
crazymom i shewoul dn'tdothat
.Iwentt omy
room tosleepbecauseIwasr eal
lyti
red.Isl
ept
withaheav yhear
t.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Pissedof f,Ithrewt hephoneont hebed.Iwas
cur rentl
yst ayingatnear byB&B.Shewasn' t
ev enr eply
ingt omyt exts.Ihadthisappt hat
trackspeopl e'sphonesonmyl aptop.SoI
trackedherdown.If oundoutwher eshei s.I
qui cklygoti nmynewr entalwhiteAudi than
drov et othepl ace.Itwasn' tt
hatfar,Iknocked
thel ockont hegat e.Thedogswentcr azy .Ij
ust
l
ookedatt hem.Thekeptbar kingandbar king
allangr il
y.It extedLonaagai n.

Me:
comeout
side.

Thedooropenedanditwast
hiswomanthat
l
ookedli
keLona,Iassumedi
twashermother
.
Shehadthi
sweirdlookonher.Idi
dn'
teven
smil
eatall
becauseIdon'tagr
eewithher
sl
avi
ngmywi f
ear ound.

Me:
I'
mlooki
ngf
orLona.
Her
:why
?
Me:
sheknows
Her
:shewentout
.
Me:
Iknowshe'
sher
e.

Shewenti nsidethehousewi thoutclosingthe

door.IwaitedforhertocallLonat henLona
appeared.Shehadr edeyes, andherey eswer e
puffy
.Iknewshemusthav esleptcrying.She
camecl oserandopenedt hegat ethenst epped
outsi
de.

Lona:
arey
out
ryi
ngt
ogetmeki
l
led?
Me:whywer
en'
tyouanswer
ingmycal
l
sand
t
ext
s?
Lona:soever
yti
meIdon'
tdowhatyouwant
you'
regoi
ngtocometomyhouseangry
.
Me:
yes.
Lona:
mymom won'
tl
iket
hat
.
Me:t
henIguessy
ouhav
etost
oppi
ssi
ngme
of
f.
Lona:
whatdoy
ouwantXav
ier
?
Me:
whatdi
dIdonow?
Lona:
not
hing.Ij
ustwantt
osl
eept
henl
ookf
or
B&BswhenIwakeup.
Me:
B&Bs?
Lona:I
'
m mov
ingoutunt
ilMul
l
erandKi
ng
ret
urn.
Me:
why
?
Lona:
mymom i
sbei
ngabi
tcr
azy
.
Me:
how?
Lona:
shesl
appedmet
hismor
ning.
Me:
what
!?*
angr
y*
Lona:
chi
l
l.

Shetouchedmychest
,Il
ookedatherhand
thenather.Sher
emov
edherhandandlooked
atme.

Lona:Idon'
twantt
ocausedr
ama.I
'
llj
ustpack
andI'
l
l f
indaB&B.
Me:
Iknowapl
ace.
Lona:
real
l
y?
Me:
yeah.Icoul
dev
enpayf
ory
ou.I
-
Lona:
hel
lno.Mul
l
erwi
l
lpay
.

Shechuckl
edhol
dingherst
omach.ThenI
remember
edIwasgoi
ngt
otakeheroutt
oget
hersomefood.

Me:
let
'sgo.
Lona:
gowher
e?
Me:
togety
ousomef
ood.
Lona:
Ihav
etot
ell
mom I
'
m goi
ngf
ir
st.
Me:
okay
,I'
l
lbewai
ti
ngnextt
othecar
.

Shewentinsidet
heyard,andIwalkedtomy
car.Thi
sstr
eetwasv er
yquietmaybebecause
i
t'snextt
othetown?Iwai t
edforLonaandI
recei
vedatextfr
om Scrappy.

Scr
appy :how'
stheEC?
Me:
not
hingmaj
or.
Scr
appy :
wel
li
t'
saboutt
ogetmaj
or.I
needy ouher
ebynextweek.Ki
ngstonwants30
gi
rls.Andyouknowhewon'tdeal
wi t
hanyone
besidesyou.
Me:
fuck!I
'
llbebacknextweekt
hen.
Scr
appy :
fedef
ede.

Ilookedatt hetimeandLonawasnotget ti
ng
outthehouse.Idi dn'tknowi fIshouldgoi n
thereandcheckonherespeci all
ywhenher
mom mi ghttrysomet hingonher .Att hesame
ti
met her earedogsher e.Ibr ushedmyf ace
withmyr i
ghthandinanger .Shel atercameout ,
shehadchangedherout fi
t.ItwasaJeanwi th
whitesneaker sanda" madness"t -
shirt.Herhair
wasi nacur lyponyt
ai lt
hatwasonherf rontli
ke
abangandshewaswear i
ngt hesewhi te
shades.Shehadont hislitt
lebagwi t
hher .She
l
ookedgr eat,Iwasjusti nawe.Mywi f
enev er
seizurestoamazeme.Ev erytimeIl ookather ,
sheget smor eandmor ebeaut i
ful.Iopenedt he
doorforherandshemumbl edacute"thank
you".Igotinthecarandwedr ov
eof f
.She
dir
ectedmet owar
dsPick'nPay.Thereshe
wentinside,Ihel
dherhand.Shechuckledand
browsedt hroughthest
orewithme.

Lona:
Idon'
twanty
ourhoesbeat
ingmeup.
Me:*chuckl
es*don'
twor
ry,
they
'r
eal
lthewayi
n
CapeTown.
Lona:
*rol
l
sey
es*mxm.
..
.Oht
hisi
scut
e.

Shesai
datt hi
sugl
ybl
ackteddy
.Ipickedi
tup,
andshelookedatmemoreli
keglar
eatme.

Me:
stopt
hatshi
t.

Ichuckl
edandpull
edhercl
ose,
intoasidehug.
Shejustsmi
ledupatme.Shepickedherfood,
it
wasjustsomet hingthatlookedlikeoatsand
somey oghurt.Thenshet ooksomepeanut s,
andwewentt opay .Andofcour sewear gued
onwhowi llpay,andIendeduppay i
ng.Ikept
l
aughingatherpout i
ng.Itooktheplasti
cand
hel
dherhand.Wewal kedt ot
hepar ki
ngandI
openedthedoorf orherwhenwegott omycar .

Lona:I
'm st
il
lget
ti
ngusedt
oyoubei
nga
gentl
eman.
Me:
don'
tpushi
t.

Shelaughed.Igavehert
heplast
ict
hencl
osed
thedoor.Iwenttomysideandgoti
n.

Lona:
aren'
tyougoi
ngt
oeat
?
Me:
nah.
Lona:
nigga-
Me:
didn'
tyousayy
ou'
rehungr
y?Eaty
ourf
ood.

Shelaughedatmyser i
ousexpr ession.She
star
tedmixi
ngt heoat sthingywiththey ogurt
.I
l
ookedatherf ood,thenather .Idon't
underst
andwhyshewant stolosewei ghtwhen
sheisthi
sperfect.Shetookof fherwhi te
shadesandplacet hem ont hedashboar dthen
star
tedeati
ng.Shel ookedsoador abl
eeat i
ng,
andshehadt hiscutelit
tlesmile.

Lona:
wantsome?
Me:
fuckno.
Lona:
comeon,
pleaset
ryi
t.
Me:
Lel
onano.Whydon'
tyoueatpr
operf
ood?
Lona:
yousoundj
ustl
i
kemymom.*
rol
l
sey
es*
pl
easetr
ythi
s.
Shegav emeaspoonf ul
l ofthefoodshewas
eati
ng,shepoutedandIj ustshookmyhead.I
atethefoodinthespoon, itwasn'tbadbuti
t
wasn'tniceatal
l.Idon'
tknowhowshesur v
ives
onthis.Shetooktheblackt eddyandIchuckled
athowI '
m changingforthisgirl
andshemi ght
notevenf eel
thesameway .

Lona:
what
?*smi
l
es*
Me:
not
hing,
thatt
eddyi
sugl
yashel
l
.
Lona:
don'
tdi
ssmychi
l
d.

Ismiledandtookoutmyphone.Iwenton
WhatsApp,LonawaseatingsoIwenttomy
stat
uses.Itookavideoofhereat
ing.

Lona:
thi
sisgood.
..wai
t,whyar
eyout
aki
nga
vi
deoofme?
Shebl ushedhi dingherf ace.Ismiledandt urned
offthecamer a.Ijustputacapt ionofabl ack
heart.It urnedonsomemusi candt hesong
thatplayedf ir
stwasPostMal onef tQuavo-
Congr atulations.Ididn'tthi
nkshel ikedthesong
unti
l shet ookoutherphoneandmadeofv i
deo
ofhersi ngi ngit.Ialsorappedal ong, andshe
madeofv ideoofussi ngingthesongt ogether
.

Us:
"Theywasnev
erf
ri
endl
y,y
eah
NowI
'
mjumpi
ngoutt
heBent
ley
,yeah
AndIknowIsounddr
amat
ic,
yeah
ButIknowIhadt
ohav
eit
,yeah
Fort
hemoney
,I'
m asav
age,
yeah
Ibei
tchi
ngl
i
keaaddi
ct,
yeah"

Shest
oppedt
hev
ideoqui
ckl
yandpr
essedsent
.
Me:Idi
dn'
tev
enknowy
oul
i
stent
otheset
ype
ofsongs
Lona:Kingal
waysplay
sthem i
nthehouse.I
j
ustli
stentothem.
Me:*chuckl
es*wi
l
lyoupackev
ery
thi
ngaty
our
par
entshouse?
Lona:no,
justafewstuffbecauseIwon'
tbe
stay
ingattheB&Bforlong.
Me:
what
'
ssomet
hingi
nter
est
ingt
odoher
e?
Lona:
not
hingatal
l
.It
'sabor
ingt
own.
Me:
itcan'
tbet
hatbor
ing.
Lona:tr
ustmeitis.*chuckl
es*all
the
i
nterest
ingt
hingsareinEastLondon.
Me:damn,nowondery
oudon'
twantt
ocome
backher
e.
Lona:
yeahanst
heot
hert
hingt
oo.
me:
yourmom can'
tbet
hatbad.
Lona:
trustmeshei
s.
~~
MeandLel onat alkedalott oapoi ntwher eit
gotdar k.Shewaswor ri
edt hatIwouldn'
tt ake
herhome, earli
er.ButIwant edtopissoffher
mom.I fshedoessomet hingt oLonaandI 'min
town.She' l
lfuckingkissLona' sasswhenI 'm
donewi t
hher .SinceMul l
erandKi ngdon'tdo
anythingIwi l
l dosomet hing.I '
m notgoingt o
sitaroundandl etherabuseLona.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwasveryscaredthatmymom wil
ltur
n
ever
yoneinthathouseagai
nstmeandsayt hat
Iwentagai
nstherandwentoutwit
hmy
boyf
ri
end.AndXav i
eri
sn'
tevenmyboyfr
iend.
Shealmoststr
angledmewhenIwentoutt he
houset ogot ot ownwi t
hhim.Idi dn'tevenwant
totellXavi
eraboutSky l
ar'
spostbecausehe
tol
dmet hatIshoul dn'
tletpeople'sactions
controlmyemot i
ons.Andpeopl eshoul dn' t
controlmebymyemot i
ons.SoIj ustcr i
edat
homeandt ri
edt ogetov erit.NowI 'ml earning
tojustdeal i
t.Notev ery
onewi l
llikeme.And
Skylarisj
ustst upidtoletpeoplecont rol her
becauseZi khonai stoomuchofacowar dtodo
anythingshe'sal waysfi
ghtingforherf riend
Kayla.ButIwonderi fKayl
awi l
lev erfi
ghtf or
her.

Xavi
er:she'snotgoi
ngtodoanythi
ngtoy
ou,
you'
l
ljusttakeyourcl
othesandl
eave.
Me:she'
ll
havemydadbeatmeupf orbri
ngi
ng
aguyover.I
'm sur
pri
sedshehasn'
tevencal
l
ed
Mull
erorKingtoconfr
ontme.
Xav
ier
:thi
sladywi
l
lendupannoy
ingme.
Me:
sheal
readyannoy
sme.
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*i
t'
sonl
y2weeks.
Me:
Iwantt
hem t
ohur
ryup.
Xav
ier
:tocheeryouup,howaboutt
omor
row
wedosomet hi
ngfun?
Me:
let
'sgot
heAquar
ium!*
exci
ted*
Xav
ier
:what
?*l
aughs*
Me:Ihavealwayswantedtogother
e.Butit
'sin
EastLondon.Youdon'
tmindalongri
deright?
Xav
ier
:nah*
smi
rks*
Me:
umdaka*
laughs*(
you'
renast
y)
Xav
ier
:you'
ret
heonet
hatsai
dit
.
Me:well
Imeantl
it
eral
l
ynotfigur
ati
vel
y.I
shoul
d'
vesai
dexcusethepun.
Xav
ier
:*l
aughs*y
esy
oushoul
dhav
e.
Me:
excuset
hepun,
Xav
ier
.*chuckl
es*

Hel
ookedatmewi
tht
hel
ookheal
way
sdoes,
i
t'
slikeI'
mtheonlyper
sonhesees,
IdoubtI
'
ll
getoverthi
slook.

Me:
stopt
hat
.*bl
ushes*
Xav
ier
:st
opwhat
?*smi
rks*
Me:
looki
ngatmel
i
ket
hat.
Xav
ier
:Ial
way
slookaty
oul
i
ket
his.
Me: noyoudon'
t.Thi
sisadif
fer
entlook.Andi
t
needstostop*l
aughs*sowhat'
sthereal
reasonyou'
rei
nKingWill
i
amsTown?
Xav
ier
:fory
ou.
Me:
li
ar.
Xav
ier
:I'
m ser
ious.
Me:
youcameal l
thewayf r
om West
ernCapet
o
mebecauseIwascry
ing.Yeahri
ght
.
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*i
fyoudon'
twantt
obel
i
eve
methanthat'
sfi
ne.
Me:wow.Ithoughty
oucamef
ory
ourshady
busi
nesses
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*shadybusi
nesses.
Me: wel
lyoudon'
twantt
otel
lmewhatyoudo
exactl
yIonl
yknowthaty
ou'r
eagangst
er
Xav
ier
:andy
oudon'
tneedt
oknow.
Me:yousoundjustl
i
keMull
erandKi
ng.Why
shoul
dn'
tIknow?Icankeepasecr
et.
Xavier:sowedon'tgetyouint
oalotoftr
oubl
e
whent hepoli
cegetinvol
ved.Sotheycansee
your eal
lydi
dn'
tknowany t
hingandyoucango
offeasily
.
Me:
okay
,nowIf
inal
l
yunder
stand.
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*t
ooky
oul
ongenough.
Me:shutup.Ar
ey ouev
enr
eadyt
otakeov
ert
he
whol
edrugempi r
e?
Xav
ier
:what
?
Me:
Ihear
dyou'
regoi
ngt
otakeov
er.
Xav
ier
:whosai
dthat
?
Me:
somebody
.
Xav
ier
:who?
Me:
justanswert
hest
upi
dquest
ion.*
laughs*
Xavier
:yeahonlyafewmonthslef
t.Youneedt
o
tel
lmewhot oldyouaboutt
hatanyway?
Me:
theansweri
ssoobv
ious.
Xav
ier
:Car
do.
Me: wewerejustt
alki
ngabouti
t.If
eel
badf
or
yourgi
rl
fr
iends.
Xav
ier
:theyar
emyhoes.
Me:
what
ever.
Xav
ier
:whyar
eyouev
enwor
ri
edaboutt
hem?
Me:si
nceyou'
l
lbetaki
ngover
.Justmeanst
hat
t
heywil
lbeinmoredanger
.
Xavi
er:
wel
ltheywant
edt
hatl
i
fe,
nowt
heyhav
e
i
t.
Me:
don'
tsayt
hat
,they
'r
est
il
lhumans.
Xavier
:theyarehoeswhoarewill
i
ngtosel
l
themselvestothehi
ghestbi
ddervi
rgel
d.(
for
money )
Me:
youdon'
tknowt
hei
rsi
tuat
ion.
Xavier:
*si
ghs*stopseei
ngthegoodi
npeopl
e.
That'swhatgi
vesfuckeduppeoplet
he
advantagetobul
lypeopl
e.Youneedt
obemore
rude
Me:mxm I'
m notgoingtochangejustbecause
aper
son.Ican'tt
reatev
eryonebadlybecauseI
wasbul
li
ed,thatwil
lmakemebej ustlikethem.
~~
AftertalkingXavierfinall
yagreedtot aki
ngme
homet ogetmyst uffsoIcanmov et otheB&B
helivesi nbutwe'llhav eseparaterooms.Iwas
scaredt oev engoi nthehouse.Dad' scarwas
notthere, maybehe' swor ki
ngl at
e.Iwentinsi
de
andXav i
erwai t
edout si
deforme.
Aunt:
heeeh!Li
buy
il
eihul
e*l
aughs*(
thehoei
s
back)

Idi
dn'treply
,Ij
ustwalkedi
nmyr oom.Iwas
shockedt oseemymom ont opofmybedwi t
h
myjournal i
nherhands.If
eltangr
y.Howcould
sheinvademypr i
vacyli
kethat
?Shepickedup
hersjambok.

Mama:kut
henindi
xakwanguweLelona?(
why
ar
eyougiv
ingmeahar dt
ime.Lel
ona?)

LONA'
SOUTFI
T
[
02/
17,
16:
43]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT16
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Ibackedawayfrom her
,andgoingtowardsmy
door.Xavi
erwast heonl
yoneIknewt hatcoul
d
savemer i
ghtnow.Iwassoscar ed,
tear
swer e
fal
li
ngli
kewaterfal
lsi
nmyey es.AndIcouldn'
t
evengetawordout .

Mama: kungonauzof
umanaisi
zat
husofownel
a
uKhazi
ml akengoku(
nowyou'
ll
haveareasont
o
cal
lKhazimla)
Me:
mama,
uxol
o.(
mama,
I'
m sor
ry)
Mama: xol
ofornt
oni?Ukundiqhel
aendli
niy
am?
TchinLel
ona.Unezi
nzangoku.Ubhala
ngekwenkweaphakodwaawukagqi bi
neVar
sit
y
l
e!Uf unaubuyaeCerti
fi
cateseSisu?(
Sorr
yfor
what?Disr
especti
ngmei nmyhouse?Youhav e
grown.You'
rewriti
ngaboutaboybuty ouare
notevendonewi t
huniversi
ty!Doyouwantto
comebackpr egnant?)
Me:
hay
imama.(
No,
mama)

Shest oodup, andIj ustranoutofmyr oom, she

whippedmeoncewhenIwasr unningi nmy
back.If eltt
hepai n,
Itrippedandf el loutsidein
thefront .Thedogskeptbar king.Shewhi pped
meandwhi ppedmeasIcr i
edcov er i
ngmy self
up.Ij usthopedIdi dn'thavebadbr uisesonme.
Iscreamedi npain.Shewasn' thittingmei n
muchf orcebutitwaspai nf
ul.Iwascr yi
ng
begginghert ostop.Idoubtsheev encar ed.
That'swhenIhear dthegat eopen.AndXav i
er
pushedmymom sohar d,shef el
lont hest oep
droppingt hesjambok.Thedogst riedbi t
ing
him buthet ookthesj ambokandst arted
beati
ngthem upwit
hi tandtheyr
an.Hel
ooked
l
ikehewasr eadyt
ost rangl
emymom.Iwas
sti
l
linpainonthestoep.

Aunt
:hey!Kwenzekant
oni
apha!
?(What
'sgoi
ng
onhere!
?)

Xaviert
ookouthi
sgunandhewasaboutt
o
shootmymot her
.Myauntscr
eamedandr
an
i
nsidethehouse.

Me:
Xav
ierno!*
shout
s*

Mymom l ookedsoscar ed.Shewascr yi

ngand
sheevenpissedherself
.Igai nedthecourage
togetup,andIstoodi nfrontofXavierandhi
s
gun.Hewasv eryangry,anditscaredmeabi t.
Hisgunwasnowai medt omychestbecauseI
wasinfrontofhim andmymot her.
Me:
no.Don'
tdothi
s,pl
ease.She'
sstil
lmy
mot
hernomatt
erwhathappens.Please.

Igotcl
oserandhuggedhim,hecalmeddowna
bi
t.OnceIbrokeofft
hehug,heplacedhisgun
backinthebackofhi
sjean.Iwi
ncedbecause
mybodywaspai nf
ul

Xav
ier
:you'
rei
npai
n?

Inoddedcryi
ng.Ireal
lydon'
tunder
standwhy
shehatesmesomuch.Hepi ckedmeupbr i
dal
styl
eandwentoutt hegateandtohiscar
.I
helpedhi
m byopeningthedoorofthecarand
heplacedmeinit.Thenheclosedthedoor.
Oncehewentt ohisside,hespedoffdownthe
road.
Xavi
er:ar
ethereanydoct
orsatt
hist
imet
hat
ar
estil
laccept
ingpat
ient
s?
Me:
no.Butt
her
e'sapubl
i
chospi
tal
.
Xav
ier
:di
rectmet oi
t.I
'
llacceptany
thi
ngatt
his
momentsoy oucanbeokay .

Hespedofftothehospi
tal
.Ther
eitt
ookalong
ti
meformet oatt
endedtoandhewasver
y
annoy
ed,andveryangry
.

Xavier
:whyt
hefuckar
ey oustandi
ngther
eand
tal
ki
ngwhenshe'si
npain!?*
shouts*
Me:
Xav
ierpl
easecal
m down
Nurse:si
r,she'
snott
heonlypatientinthi
s
hospit
alandshedoesntevenlooklikeshehas
i
njuri
es.Youhav et
owait.Youdonotownt hi
s
hospit
al.
Xav
ier
:whatt
hef
uckdi
dyouj
ustsayt
ome!
?
*
angr
y*

Hewasabouttot akeouthi
sgun,Iqui
ckly
st
oodupfrom theplaceIwassit
ti
nginand
st
oppedhimfrom doingsomethi
nghe'l
lget
ar
rest
edfor.Whatisupwithhi
m andguns!?

Me:
cal
m down.
Xav
ier
:thi
sbi
tchr
eal
l
ydoesn'
tknowme.
Nur se:t
chi
nbat heni
naababhutibacinga
sizoqalangabongexababene'mali
.
Baphambene.( Thesementhinkwe'llatt
endt
o
them fir
stbecausetheyhav
emoney .Theyar
e
delusional
)

Xavierwasaboutt
ogot oher,andreal
l
ybeat
herup.Iqui
ckl
ypull
edhim back,i
twasnouse
becausehewasstrongersoIstoodinfrontof
hi
m andhuggedhim holdi
nghisarmsand
hands,
topr
eventhi
mfr
om beat
ingupt
henur
se.

Me:
please.Don'
tdot
his,
nother
e.
Xav
ier
:Ican'
tl
etherdi
srespectmel
i
ket
hat
.
Me:l
et'
sjustgohome.I'
l
ldr
inkpai
nki
l
ler
sthen
we'
l
lgotot hedoct
ort
omorr
ow.

Hetookhi
shand,andwewereaboutt
owalk
out
.Ihear
dthenur
semumblesomethi
ng.

Nurse:ezi
ntozi
phathwangabaf
azibabo
bagulel
athi
na.(Thesethi
ngsar
econtrol
l
edby
thei
rwives,t
heygocrazyonus)

Ihel
dXav ier
'shandt
ight
lyt
olethim knowhe
shoul
dn'tpayanyatt
enti
ontothem.Heopened
thedoorformeandhedr oveofftotheB&Bhe
wasstayingin.Ther
oomswer efull
ybookedso
Ihadt
oshar
ear
oom wi
thXav
ier
.

Xav
ier:
letmecallJR,maybehehassome
meds.Ididn'
tbr
ingany.

Ij
ustnoddedandj ustlookedaround.Therewas
onlyonebedhere.AndIdon' tf
eel comfor
tabl
e
shari
ngabedwi t
hXav i
erbecausehe'smy
fr
iend,whohappenst obesohot ,andIdon't
wanttodevel
opf eeli
ngsforhim.

Xav
ier
:comet
omyr
oom.
..f
edef
ede.

Thenhehungup.Hel ookedatme,Iwasst i
l
l
analy
singtheroom.Itwasr eal
l
ygood.EL
Shaddai i
sreal
lyagoodB&B.Iheardalotof
poli
ti
ciansandimportantpeopl
ecomehere
whent heyhavebusi
nesst r
ipsinKi
ngWil
li
ams
Town.
Xav
ier
:getont
hebed.
Me:
what
!?
Xavi
er:
notli
kethat
.*chuckl
es*Iknowy
ou'
rei
n
pai
nandstandi
ngupwon' thel
p.

Heopenedhi
ssui
tcaseandt
ookoutanot
hert
-
shi
rt
.

Xav
ier
:youcanweart
his

Itwasami li
tarypr
intedt
-shir
t.Iwenttot he
bathr
oom, eventhoughIstruggledputt
ingiton
becauseofthepai nIwasin.Final
lyIworeit,i
t'
s
wasn'tl
ong,kindatooshort.Ithi
nkhewoul dbe
abletoseemyassandIwaswear i
ngat hong.I
didn'
tevenwantt ogetoutofthebat hr
oom.
Xav
ier
:JRi
sher
ewi
tht
hemeds,
Lona.

Iquickl
yt ookthet owelandwr appeditaround
mylowerbody ,thenwalkedout .JRgav eme
themedi cati
onandt hewaterthenhewal ked
outaftertheganghandshakewi t
hXav ier
.Af t
er
30mi nutesofmeandXav iert
alkingandal sous
watchingt he"Smur f
sThel ostvil
lage"onhi s
l
aptop, hedownl oadeditforme.Iwast ir
ed.
AndIhadr emov edthetowel alongt i
meago
becauseIwasi nsidethebed.

Xav
ier:
Ican'
tbel
i
evean18y
earol
diswat
chi
ng
Car
toons.
Me:
*yawns*car
toonsmaket
hebestmov
ies.

Ismiled,
andi
feltdr
owsyandslept.Ev
en
thoughmycurl
yhairwasannoyi
ngmebecause
i
twasal li
nmyface.ButImanagedtosleep.
~~
Aftermymor ningroutine,Xavi
ergotmeanew
toothbrushandal lthetoilet
ri
esIneeded.Ist i
l
l
wor ethesamecl othesf rom yest
erday.Xavier
wentoutt ogetmef ood.Hewasangr ywhenhe
sawt hebruisesonmyar msandl egs.Afterhe
cameback.Weat et henhewant edtotakeme
tothedoct or.Sowewer eont heroadagain

Xav
ier
:di
rectmet
oagooddoct
or.
Me:
myf
ami
l
ydoct
ori
sDrFr
edr
icks.
Xav
ier
:di
rectmet
ohi
m.

Idi
dashesaid,helookedreal
l
yangryashe
spedofft
oFredri
cks.Whil
ehishandwasonthe
gear
,Ihel
ditt
ocalm him down.

Me:
it'
snot
hingmaj
or.I
'
m goi
ngt
obef
ine.
Xavi
er:don'
tfuckingt
ellmethat!Shewasr eady
toki
ll
you.EverytimeIthinkaboutit
,Itanger
s
memor e.Ishoulddowhatshepl annedony ou
wit
hher .
Me:
don'
ttouchher
.
Xav
ier
:what
!?
Me:
I'
m ser
ious.KhazimlaandYangal
ovet
hei
r
mom somuchthatthey'
l
ldostupi
dshi
t.
Xav
ier
:Idon'
tgi
veaf
uckaboutt
hoset
wo.
Me:Idobecausethey
'r
emybr other
sandthat'
s
mymom nomat t
erwhat.AndKi ngplusMul
ler
wil
lputastoptoourf
riendshi
p.Pleasedon'
t
acti
rrat
ional
l
y.I'
l
lbefi
ne, i
t'
sjustafewbrui
ses.
~~
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Shewastoldtowearagown, t
hegownwas
di
rtyandIwaspissedof
fthattheywoul
dgi
ve
heragownliket
hat.

Xav
ier
:don'
tyouhav
ecl
eanergowns?
Lona:Xavi
er!I
'
m sosorry,
he'snotal
waysli
ke
thi
s.Heisunderalotofstr
esstheseday
s.

Shegl
aredatme,
thenur
sewal
kedaway
.

Lona:
whati
swr
ongwi
thy
ou!?
Me:
thi
sisdi
rt
y.
Lona:Iknowbutwe' r
enotheref
orcl
othesbut
forthemedicalat
tenti
on.Nowpl
easestop
beingrude.Pl
ease.
Shelookedatmewi t
hapout,andshehugged
menott i
ghtatal
l
.Icoul
dseeshewasst i
lli
n
pai
nbutshewast ry
ingnott
opi ssmeoff
.

Lona:y
ouhavet
owai
ther
e,I
'
m goi
ngt
obe
nakedther
e.
Me:
so?
Lona:
don'
tst
art
.
Me:
wai
t,t
hedoct
orwi
l
lseey
ounaked?
Lona:
duh.
Me:
isi
taf
emal
e?
Lona:
no.
Me:
fuckno.
Lona:hehasbeenmydoct
orev
ersi
nceIwasa
chi
ld

Shechuckl
edandqui
ckl
yst
opped.Shewasi
n
r
eal pain.Iswearhermom isgoingtopayfor
t
his.Afterthedoctorcheck,shecameout.She
wentt ochangeherclothes

Lona:weneedt ogot othechemi sttogetsome

ofthemedicineandointmentt hedoctorsaidI
shoul
dusef orthebruises.They'
renotthat
deep.Lucki
l
yt heclot
hesIhadonhel ped,and
shedidn'
tgetmyf ace.Sot her
ear enobruises
onit.
Me:
shest
il
lneedst
olear
nherl
esson.
Lona:
Xav
ierwet
alkedaboutt
his.
Me:
whyar
eyoupr
otect
ingher
!?

Everyonel
ookedatusbecauseIwasl oud.She
pull
edmeout sidewithmyhand,Ismil
edathow
toughshethinkssheis.Shehadthi
sseri
ous
cutefaci
alexpressi
ononher.Thenshefolded
herarms.
Lona: I
'
m pr otecti
ngy ou,ifKhazi
ml aand
Yanga'inkosifindoutt hatyouhavet ouchedor
offendedt hei
rmom.I '
m ev enscaredshe'llt
ell
them aboutt heincidentear l
i
erandt urnthem
againstme.
Me:
I'
m notscar
edofy
ourbr
other
s.
Lona:i
knowy ou'r
enot.Butpl
easerespect
whatIj
ustdecidedon.You'
regoingtoleavemy
mom alone.Idon'
twantmybrothershatingme.
Me:
whydon'
ttheydoany
thi
ng?
Lona:sheneverl
ist
enstothem whentheyar
e
notintown.Butwhentheyare,
shebecomes
moreni cet
omeandal loft
hatmother
lystuf
f
Me:
arey
ousur
eshe'
syourmom?
Lona:posi
ti
ve.She'sjusttoost
rict
.Becausei
fI
weretogetintoastreetfi
ght,t
hat'
stotal
ly
nevergoi
ngt ohappen,Iknowshewoul d
defendme.
Me:
andhowdoy
ouknowt
hat
?
Lona:
when.
..

Shest
oppedandl
ookeddown.Il
i
ftedherhand
upwit
hmyindexf
inger
.Shehadglossyey
es.

Lona: whenItri
edtoki llmy selfbecauseoft he
bull
ying,shewenttot heschool andstarted
beatingupmybul l
ieswi thahar dst i
ck.Iusedto
tel
lthem aboutthebul ly
ingbutt heyalway s
thoughtitwasjustkidspl ay i
ng, unt
ilItr
iedto
kil
lmy sel
f.Shegotangr y,andwentt othe
school.Andshebeatt hem al luplookingal l
crazy.Kaylasti
l
lhast hatscar* chuckles*I
knowshel ov
esmei t'
sj ustt hatshecan' t
expressherloveproper l
yt hatitcomesof fas
abuse.Shedoesn'tfeel anyconnect i
onwi t
hme
becauseoft hedepressionshegotaf tergivi
ng
birt
ht ome.She'sast rongwomanandme
beingweakmadeherbel ieveIwasademon
chi
l
dakawebot
hhav
ebeenbewi
tched.
Me:well
nowI
'
m her
eandshehast
ofol
l
ow
somerul
es
Lona:
*laughs*y
ou'
recr
azy
.
Me:I
'
m seri
ous.Shecan'ttouchy
ou.Orel
seI
mi
ghthavetodosomet hing.

Shest
oppedlaughed,andherphoner
ang.I
di
dn'
tevent
hinkshehaditwithher
.

Lona: hell
o?.
..shetri
edtobeatmeupwi t
ha
sjambok. .
.I'
m seri
ous..
.shegotaimedwi tha
gun?What ?Shelyi
ng.Icouldn'
teventakemy
clothesbecauseshewassoangr y.Ididn'tgo
therewi t
hanyguy .She'
stryi
ngtomakey ou
guy shateme, andmay beit
'sworkingbecause
clearl
yy ouaretaki
ngherside.
Ismil
edathowf l
uentshewasatl yi
ng.Ididn'
t
eventhi
nkshehadi ti
nher.Inbet
weent hecall
,
shewouldtakesi
lentbreat
hingpr
actices.

Lona:you'
recomingbackwhen?Nextweek! ?
*exci
ted*thankGod!Iam st
ayingattheEl
ShaddaiB&B.NoI '
l
lpaywiththeremaini
ng
moneyi haveinmyaccount.Pleasedon'
t
worry
...
.okaylov
ey outooBro.

Shesmiledandcl
osedhereyes.Ichuckl
edand
openedthedoorforher
.Shegotinandsmil
ed.
Aft
erIclosedt
hedoorforher
,Iwenttomyside
ofthecarandgotin.

Lona:
they
'r
ecomi
ngbacknextweek.Iam so
happy
.
Me:Isee.Ihavetogobackt
oCapeTownnext
week.Soyou'l
lbesaf
e.
Lona:
youar
egoi
ngbecauseofKi
ng&Mul
l
er?
Me:no*chuckl
es*Ihav
etogetbackt
othe
busi
nesses.
Lona:
whati
fmybr
other
swer
en'
tret
urni
ngnext
week?
Me:t
henyouwould'
ver
etur
nedt
oCapeTown
wi
thme.*
shrugs*
Lona:
*laughs*y
ou'
recr
azi
ert
hanIt
hought
.
Me:
youneedt
odi
rectmet
othechemi
st
Lona:
whatwoul
dyoudowi
thoutme?*
smi
l
es*

Ichuckl
edthenshedi rect
edmet othechemi st
andIgotoutandopenedt hedoorforher.Their
chemistwasinamal l.Whenwewer ewal ki
ngin
themallImadesuret oholdherhandsot hese
niggasknowshe'staken.Andt heywon'ttry
anythi
ngcrazybecauseI '
l
lkil
lthem nowi na
spli
tsecond.Oncewewenti nsideCli
cks.I
foll
owedheraroundwhenshewasget ti
ngt he
medicat
ionandot
herst
uffsheneeds.Af
teral
l
oft
hat,Ipai
dfort
hethi
ngs

Me:whyar
eyoual
way
supsetwhenIpay
?
*
chuckl
es*

Ihelpherhandandt
ookt
hepl
ast
icandwe
walkedout.

Lona:becauseIknowguys.Theywanttoget
youallthet
hingsandexpectsomet
hingl
ikesex
i
nreturn.Idonotwantthat.
Me:
am Il
i
ket
heot
herguy
s?
Lona:yes.Youhav
eli
ke3or4girl
fr
iendsand
theyar
eallokaywi
thyouhav
ingot
her
gir
lf
ri
ends.I
t'
sweir
d.
Me:
that'
sbecauseIhaven'tf
oundtheoney
et.
Wel
lIhavef
oundher.I'
mj ustwal
ki
ngoneggs
ar
oundher
Lona:
you?Foundt
heone?Yeahr
ight*
laughs*
Me:
whyi
sithar
dtobel
i
eveIwoul
dfi
ndt
heone?
Lona:becauseyoudon'
tl
ookli
kethetypethat
bel
iev
esi nsoul
matesoreveninr
elat
ionships.
Me:
gott
hatoner
ight*
laughs*
Lona:see!Youwoul djustsleepwit
hthegirland
beannoy edafter
wardsbecauseshewasj ust
fr
eshmeaty outhoughtyoucouldn'
thave.Now
youhavei t
,you'l
lgetannoyedbyit.
Me:
arewest
il
ltal
ki
ngaboutme?
Lona:
yes!
Me:
thi
sseemsper
sonal
.*l
aughs*
Lona:mxm.Yourfuckboytendenci
esare
ari
si
ngagai
n.Let'
sjustdropthisconv
ersat
ion.

Sheletgoofmyhandandwalkedfast,
Ipul
led
herbackbythebel
tst
ri
ngofherjean.Whenshe
t
urnedar
ound,
Ihel
dherwai
st.

Me: comeon.Don'tbel
ikethat
,Il
iket
hatyou'
re
notafrai
dtospeakthet
r ut
haboutme.Iwon't
takeitasajokeagai
n.
Lona:
yes.Youshoul
dn'
t.

ShepoutedandIlaughed.Onotherpeopl
e,I
wouldbeannoyedbyt hei
rpout
ingbutLona'
s
poutwasjustt
oocut eandherchubbyfacewas
cut
easfuck.

Me:
let
'sgety
ouf
oodi
nChecker
s.
Lona:
yeah.

Wewalkedther
eandshepi
ckedt
hef
oodand
somedryfr
uit
.
Lona:ugh,
weshoul
d'
vecamet
othi
schemi
st.I
for
gotabouti
t.
Me:i
t'
sfi
nebyme.Atl
easty
ouhav
ethe
medi
cati
onnow.
Lona:butI'
mt i
red.Thebrui
sesarebecoming
pai
nful.Iwanttosleeponsomethingsof
t,the
bed.Iwanttosleep* si
ghs*
Me:we'
realmostdone.St
opcompl
aini
ngwe'
re
get
ti
ngyourfood.
Lona:whatwil
ltheB&Bsaywhenwear
enot
eati
ngthei
rfood?
Me:
Idon'
tgi
veaf
uck.
Lona:
toomuchanger
.*l
aughs*

Shewal kedusovertot hetil

lsandIpaid,weleft
.
AttheB&B, sheateandwat chedthecart
oon
mov i
eshewaswat chinglastnight.Shewas
conti
nuingwithi
t.Aftermaki ngplent
yofcal l
s
toScrappytogetgirl
sf orthehumant raf
ficki
ng
deali
ngs.Hetoldmehehas5gi r
lsrightnow.I
will
fini
shupwhenIgett her
e.Isatont hebed,
shewasi nsi
dethebed.Hermedi cati
onwas
start
ingtoki
ckinbecauseIcouldseeshewas
ti
red.OnceIlai
donthebed, It
ookt helaptop
andshest ar
edatme.Timet otesthert r
uston
me.

Me:whyareyousofar
?Comecl
oser
.I'
m not
gonnat
ryany
thing.

Shechuckl edandmov edclosert ome.Ipl aced

thelapt oponmyt hi
ghsandpul ledherclosert o
mychest .Shelai
dherheadonmychestand
continuedwat chi
ngthemov ie.Ismi l
edlooking
ather .Iknowshe'sdevel
opingf eeli
ngsforme
becausei fshewasn'tshewoul d'vefr
ozenat
thethoughtofuscuddl i
ng.Butnowshe' sdoi ng
i
t.Herar m waswrappedonmyl owerstomach.
Heract ionsshowmeshe' snowcomf or
table
withme.Shecont i
nuedwatchingthemov ie,
shelaughedatanotherSmurfbeingclumsy .I
wasgladt oseeherthi
shappy.Nowaf t
erallof
thesecart
oonsandshe'sasleep.Iwillhavet o
payhermom av isi
t.Shecangetkeept r
eating
mywi feli
kethi
sandkeepthinkingI'
m goingt o
l
etitsli
de.Shehastopay.
[
02/
17,
16:
43]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT17
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
aft
erIheardherli
ghtsnor
es.Igentl
yremoved
her,t
henworesomebl acksweats.Imadesure
totakemygunwi th.Iwon'
tkil
lhermom, j
ust
tal
ktoher.Andifshebecomesdisrespect
ful
thenIwi l
lhavetoreal
lydosomet hi
ngtoher
.I
calledJRtowat choverLonasinceshe'
s
fami l
iarwi
thhim andshewon'thaveanypani
c
attacks.

Me:watchoverLonaforawhi
l
e.I
'
m goi
ngout
I
'l
lbebackinaboutanhour
.
JR:bauyabuzauphi
?Zendit
hiuphi
?(Ifshe'
s
askswhereyouare?Whereshoul
dIsayy ouar
e?
)
Me:
tel
lherIwentoutt
ocheckoutt
het
own.
JR:
fedef
ede(
shar
pshar
p)
Me:
anddonotletheroutoft
her
oom wi
thout
meret
urni
ng.

Ihungupthecall,t
henIdr ovetoherhouse.I
neverf
orgetdir
ecti
ons,
soIdi dn'
thavetroubl
e
al
ongtheway .OnceIparkednearthehouse.
Therewasn'tacari
nthey ardsti
ll
.SoIthought
may betheydi dn'
thaveacar .Iwalkedot herand
knockedthel ockont hegate.Iknockedand
knocked.Itwasnouse, Icli
mbedov erthefence
si
ncei twasn'tthatl
ong.Ididn'tseet hedogs,
soIwenti nsidethehouse.Itwasn' tlocked.
WhenIopenedt hedoor ,
thereshewas
standi
ngf rom abitfarinthepassage.She
l
ookedscar edofme, andIdidnotcar eonebit.

Me:
iam her
etol
aydownsomer
ules.
MrsD:endl
inikabani
?Tchinunol
uyol
o
andi
zokwenzalontomna.(I
nwhosehouse?
You'
reover
excit
edIwon'tdothat
.)
Me:
thenwear
egoi
ngt
odot
hist
hehar
dway
.

Itookoutmygunandaimeditather
,she
screamedandI'
m sur
ethenei
ghbourshear
d
her.Shel
ookedl
ikeshepee'
dhersel
f.
Me:
gogett
hesj
ambok.
Mr
sD:
int
oni
?(What
?)
Me:
Iwon'
trepeatmy
sel
f.Idi
dnotst
utt
er.

Shecr
iedgoi
ngtoherr
oom togetthesjambok.
Mygunwasstil
lai
medather.Shethrewitov
er
tomebecauseshewasscar
edt ogetcl
oser.

Me: nowonderyouaresobi
ttert
owar
dsLona,
becauseyourhusbandi
sneverhome.
MrsD: uy asebenza.Sumxeka.Ibeterenakulent
o
uyenzay o.Uku'r
ob'baabantuayondlelayophil
a.
(hewor ks.Donotj udgehim.Iti
sbet tert
han
whaty ou'redoing.Robbi
ngpeopl eforalivi
ngis
notthewayt oliv
e.)
Me:herearetherules.
..one,youwon'tevenlay
ahandonherorel seyourlif
ewi ll
end.Two,all
t
hisbull
shityoukeeptalki
ngtobr ingherdown
wi
llst
opt oday.Thr
ee,ifyoutellKhazi
mlaand
Yangaaboutt
his,
you'
l
lregr
eteverbl
abbl
ing
yourbi
gmouth.Doweunderstandeachother
?

Shenoddedver
yscar
ed.Ichuckl
ed,
she'
sjusta
scar
edbit
ch.

Me:nowafteral
lofthi
s,y
ouaregoingt
opack
uphert
hingsandI'
ll
pickthem upt
omorrow.

Shenoddedqui
ckl
ywi
thnohesi
tat
ions.

Me:j
ustt
oassureweunder
standeachot
her
wi
thther
ules.

Ipickedupt hesjambok,
shestar
tedcry
ing
hysteri
cal
ly.Ishookmyhead,andstart
ed
beatingherupwi thi
tsoshecanlear
nher
l
esson.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwokeupandt heot hersidewasempt y.May be
Xavierwentout .Ilookedatt hetimeandi twas
sti
ll1pm,soi t'
sstill
ear l
y.Welltome.Il ooked
overtoXav i
er'ssideboar dandhel efthiscr oss
chainandhi slaptop.Ismi l
elookedatt he
crosschain.Idecidedt owearit.He'smyf ri
end,
ihopehewon' tmind.Iwi shhewon' tmi nd
becausethischai nist oocute.Iwentt obr ush
myt eet
handwashmyf ace.ThenIwentback
tothebed.It ookmyphone, andt hebat terywas
23%andIdon' tevenhav eachar ger.When
Xavierr
eturnsI '
ll
hav et oaskhimt ochar gemy
phonewi t
hhi slaptop.IwentonWhat sAppwi t
h
theremainingbat teryper cent
age.Iwant edto
sendXav i
eramessageandaskhi m wher ehei s,
butt hanIdon' twantt oseem l ikeaneedy
per son.SoIj ustl ookedatst at
uesCar do
post edbecausehewast heonlyonewho
post edal ot.Af tert hat,IwentoutofWhat sApp
andwentt oSnapchat .It ookasel fi
ewi t
h
Snapchatandedi ted" i t
me"ini t
.Iwasst ill
wear ingXav i
er'
sshi rtandchai n.Thenaf ter
sav ingt hepi ctur e.IwentonWhat sAppand
post edi twi thy oucapt ion" ", afteralloft hatI
unbl ockedmybr others.Butt heyst i
llwon' tsee
thepi cture.Istar tedget ti
nghungr ysoIat et he
dryf ruitjustt ot onedownmyhunger .Boredom
star tedst ri
kingi nsoIt ooksel fiesonhi sl aptop.
Al otofsel fi
es.Thenaf terawhi leIwant edt o
getsomef reshai r,soIwor emyj eans.Il ooked
formyshoesandf i
nall
yf oundt hem thenwor e
them.WhenIopenedt hedoorIwasshockedby
JRst andingout si det hedoorl i
keabody guar d.
Whati sgoingon?Am Ii ndanger ?

Me:
JR!*
shocked*
JR:
aft
ernoonma'
am.
Me:
real
l
ynow?
JR:
sor
ry.Af
ter
noon,Lona.
Me:whatar
ey oudoi
ngher
e?I
sev
ery
thi
ngokay
?
Wherei
sXavier?I
sheok?
JR:*
chuckl
es*y
onkei
ntoi
grand(
ever
ythi
ngi
s
okay
.)
Me:sor
ry,i
t'
sjustthatIwasnotexpecti
ngthi
s.
Youdonotneedt owat choverme.Iam nota
chi
l
d.Iknowhowov erprot
ecti
veXavi
eris.
JR: har
de,Lona.Uzohl
anyabandinohamba,
i
ngabekwangal eplek(I
'
m sor
ry,Lona.He'
l
lgo
crazyifIl
eavethispl
aceunwatched.
)
Me:*sighs*butIwantt
ogof
orawal
k.Justt
o
exer
cisemyl egs.
JR:kuzof
unekasi
m'f
ownel
e(wewi
l
lhav
eto
cal
lhim.)
Me:
Iwi
l
ldot
hat
.Don'
twor
ry.
Iwentbacki
nsidetheroom andcal
l
edXav
ier
.
Heansweredthecallv
eryfast.

Xav
ier
:youcan'
tl
eav
ether
oom
Me:
what
!?*
laughs*whynot
?
Xav
ier
:I'
l
ltel
lyouwhenIgett
her
e.
Me:
wher
ear
eyou?
Xav
ier
:Iwi
l
lbet
her
e.
Me:
youcan'
tcont
rol
whet
herIl
eav
eornot
.
Xavi
er:
Lel
onast
opbei
ngst
ubbor
n.Youar
e
i
njur
ed.
Me:ser
iousl
y?I
t'
sjustwhi
pbr
uisesandi
tisnot
t
hatdeep.
Xav
ier
:youar
enotl
eav
ing.
Me:
Ijustwantt
ogof
orawal
k.
Xav
ier
:I'
l
ltakey
ouf
orawal
kwhenIr
etur
n.
Me:canyoupl
easej
ustt
ell
mewher
eyouar
e
r
ightnow?
Xav
ier
:I'
mtur
ningbyShopr
it
eri
ghtnow,
Iwi
l
l
bet
hereinaf
ewmi nut
es.
Me:
okay
,Xav
ier
.

Hechuckledandwebot hhungup.Hecan' tj
ust
sayIshouldnotl eav ether oom.Thati sso
bossyandcont rolling.Iam thankf
ulthathe
wantsmepr ot
ect edbutIam notachi ldthat
hastobelockedupandwat chedwhenev erhe
l
eaves.Afterafewmi nuteshewalkedi nside
theroom.Ifoldedmyar ms.Iwassi t
tingont he
bed.Mybackwasagai nstthedashboar dand
mylegswer estrai ghtont hebed.Ihada
seri
ousfacialexpr essionsohecanknowIdi d
notli
kewhathedi donebi t.

Xav
ier
:ar
eyour
eal
l
ythatupset
?
Ididn'
trepl
yandj uststaredathi
m.Hesmiled,I
tr
iedtohidemi nebecausehewassocut eand
i
twashar dnott oblushandsmi l
e.Hecamet o
mysi deofthesideboar dthenhesatont
he
bedhewasr eall
yclosetome

Xav
ier
:comeonIwast
ryi
ngt
opr
otecty
ouher
e.
Me:
from what
!?Am Ii
ndanger
?
Xavi
er:
no.ButIjustwantt
obecar
eful
adt
ake
saf
etyprecaut
ions.
Me:l
iar
,youj
ustdon'
twantmet
owonder
ar
oundtownwit
houtyou.
Xav
ier
:thatt
oo.*chuckl
es*
Me:well
thati
spret
tyunf
airbecauseyouj
ust
wenttot
ownwi t
houtme.ButIcan'tgowi
thout
you.
Xav
ier
:fi
ne,
I'
ll
takey
ouwi
thnextt
ime.
Me:
whati
fIwantsomeal
onet
ime?
Xavi
er:
that
'sf
inei
wil
ll
ety
ougetsomeal
one
ti
me.
Me: Ithoughty
ouweregoi
ngtosayno.Iwas
goingt obesoangr
y.Idonotl
ikebei
ng
controll
ed.
Xavi
er:
nowIknow*l
aughs*y
oust
il
lwantt
ogo
tot
heaquar
ium?
Me:no.Let
'sjustdoittomorr
ow.Ithi
nktoday
wehavetogot oStreetFever
.Checkoutsome
newsneakers.
Xavier
:youl
ovesneaker
smor
ethanme
*chuckl
es*
Me:
thati
snotabadt
hingatal
l
.*l
aughs*

Helookedatme, againwit
hthatlookthatisso
sexyIfi
ndmy sel
ft hi
nki
ngaboutthingsthatI
shoul
dn't
.Henot icedthechai
n,andheldit.He
smil
edatit,
andjustchuckled.
Me:Icoul
dtakeitof
f.I
tjustl
ookedt
oocut
eto
bel
ayingonasideboard.
Xavi
er:
Idi
dn'
tsaytakei
tof
f.I
tlooksmor
e
goodonyouanyway.
Me:
thanky
ou.

Henodded,andl eanedcloserquickl
y.Iwas
shockedt hathewasaboutt okissme.Idi dn'
t
stophim, butt henheki ssedmycheek.Ismi l
ed
becausehi slipswer esosoft,Iwantedt otaste
them.Fuck!Thewor stishappening.IthinkI
am developingf eelingsforXav i
er.Hegotup
andwentt ohisl aptopont heothersideoft he
sideboard.Heopenedi tandluckilyhedidn't
seethepict uresIt ook,yet
.Ismi l
ed,because
onceheseest hem he'llj
ustsmileatmewi t
h
hiscutesmi le.
Xav
ier
:Iam justgoi
ngov
ersomeemai
l
sthen
wewil
lleav
e.Okay ?
Me:
okay
.Idon'
tmi
nd.I
'
llgochanget
hist
-shi
rt
.

Henoddedandcont i
nuedcheckinghisemail
s.I
wenttochangebackintomy" madness"t-
shi
rt.
Iwassti
llweari
ngthechain.Buti
twasinside
thet
-shi
rt
.OnceIwal kedout,hewasal so
donewit
ht hebusi
nessstuff.

Me:
Ineedmyphonechar
gedpl
ease.

Hereachedhi
shandoutf orit
.AndIgaveitto
hi
m.Henot i
cedthatthechainwasinsi
dethet-
shi
rt
.Hesmi l
esandpl acedhishandonmy
neckmakingmeshiverfrom hi
scoldhands.He
smil
ed,thenpul
l
edt hechainout.
Xav
ier
:nowy
ou'
regood.

Hechar
gedmyphonet
henhecamecl
oset
o
me

Xav
ier
:Let
'sgo.

Ismiledandbl
ushedt
hathewant
smet
owear
hischain.
.
.
-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Ismi
ledcounti
ngupmyrentmoneyandi t
fi
nal
l
yreachedwhereIwantitt
otobe.
Tomorr
owi ti
sset
tl
edIwill
paymyr ent
.Then
ther emai ningmoneyIwi l
lgetsomegr oceri
es.
Afterfucki ngPat rick, hef i
nall
ygav emeR20
000becauseIl iedandsai dIwant edt odo
somel inger i
eshoppi ngandhewasmor ethan
happyt osponsormef orthat.Iwi l
lhav etoget
anewsugardaddysoIwascanhav emor e
money .Iam t hel azyt ypet hatdoesnotwantt o
wor k.SoIwoul dr at herf uckment hatam r eall
y
will
ingt ogi veal otofmoneyt hent owor kshifts
thatwi llonlyrewar dmeal ousyR500perweek.
Ili
kemyl if
estyl
eandsomemaysayi t'
s
prost i
tutionbutIdonotcar easl ongasi tpays
thebi l
ls.Iam okwi thit.Ididnotgohomet hi
s
holidaybecauseIdonotwantt ogobackt omy
drunkf atherandhi smi sbehav ingson.Myl itt
le
brothergetonmyner vesandwi thmydad
beingasi nglepar ent ,hehadt ot akecar eofthe
bothofus, Ihadt obeamot hert omyl i
ttl
e
brother .Ididnotl iket hatsoIpr omi sedmy self
i
fIl eaveEast er
nCape, Iam nev ergoingbackt o
thathel lhole.Ther ewasaknockont hedoor ,I
groanedget
ti
nguptogoansweri
t.Iwas
shockedtoseeadet
ect
ivei
nmydoor st
ep.

Det
ect
ive:
aft
ernoon,
Mi-
Kay
la:
whatdoy
ouwant
?*annoy
ed*
Det
ect
ive:
canIcomei
n?

Iopenedthedoorfurt
herandhewalkedin.I
wasconfusedwhyt hepol
icewashere.Idi
dnot
doanythi
ngil
legal
.

Det
ecti
ve:Iam j
usther
etoquest
iony
ouabout
t
hedisappear
anceofKhan-
Me:wait
,whoreport
edthi
s?Khany
iisprobabl
y
wi
ththeguyshel
eftwit
htheot
hernight
.
Detect
ive:hergr
andmot
heri
sver
yworr
ied
abouther.Shefi
ledami
ssi
ngper
sonscase.
Me:
what
?
Detect
ive:
Ineedyoutot
ell
meev
ery
thi
ngt
hat
happenedthatni
ght
.
Me:wejustwenttoaclub,hadfunandshesai
d
shewasgoinghomewi thherex,Idon'
t
rememberhisname,ThandoorThaboIthi
nk.
Det
ect
ive:
whi
chcl
ubwasi
t?

It
oldhi
mt henameandhewr oteitdown,
he
waswri
ti
ngev er
ythi
ngdown.Aftert
hathe
st
oodupfrom mysof a,
andshookmyhead.

Det
ect
ive:
thanky
ouf
ory
ourcooper
ati
on.

IjustnoddedandIlethim out.Iwasv er
y
scaredbecausewhatifshewasdeador
somet hi
ngandi twoul
dallbemyf ault
.Ireall
y
didnotthinkRell
ikwoul
dhur therbutnowi t
beli
evethathereall
yli
kesthatfatbit
chLona.I
receiv
edacal l
from Zi
khona.Ir ol
l
edmyey es,
eversinceKhanyihasbeennowheretobe
found,Zikhonahasbeenannoyi
ngmeand
thi
nkingweshouldbebestfri
ends.Tobe
honest,Il
ikedKhanyimoret
hanher.

Me:
Zee
Zee:checkKhany
i'
sFacebook.*sniff
s*kut
hiwa
ulahl
eki
le(t
heyar
esayingshe'
smi ssi
ng)
*cri
es*

Myheartst oppedandi mmedi atelystarted

beati
ngv eryfast.Iquicklytookmyl apt opand
l
oggedinonFacebook.I t'
sal r
eadyal lover.
Peoplecannotknowwhathappenedi nthat
toi
let
.Idonotwantt hem blami ngme.Iwi l
lact
shockedt hatshe'smi ssi
ngsoIdon' thav e
peoplethinki
ngIknewaboutt his.Thisisall
Lona'
sfaul ti
fshedi dn'tcry,andRelli
kwoul dn't
havenoticedandshewoul d'vemadeusal l
happybyki ll
i
ngher self.
Me:pleasedon'tprankme, Zikhona.Khany ican
notbemi ssi
ng!Wewer eatthecl ubtogether,
andshewenthomewi thsomeguy ,herex
ThandoorThaboIt hi
nk,andt heywer eboth
nowheretobef ound.They'reprobablysti
ll
havi
ngf unel
sewher etogether.
Zee:
hewasfounddeadinhisfl
at.Andi
tlooked
l
ikei
twasbr
okeninther
e,Khanyiwasn'
tther
e
Me:what!
?Whendidal
lofthi
shappen?And
whyam Ij
ustf
indi
ngout
!?
Zee:apparentl
yhergrandmothert
ri
edcall
i
ng
herandshedi dn'
tanswersosheknew
somet hi
ngwaswr ongandfil
edami ssi
ng
person'scase.
Me:
Iwasnev
erquest
ionedbyt
hepol
i
ce.
Zee:
may
bet
heyst
il
ldon'
tknowy
ouwer
ether
e.
Me:
yeah.Ihopeshei
sokaywher
evershei
s.
Zee:
met
oo.Thi
scannotbehappeni
ngi
nher
f
ir
sty
ear
.
Me:yeah.LookZee,
Ihav
etogo.I
'
llcal
lyou
l
ateron.
Zee:
okay
,by
echommi
e.

Ihungup.I fmysuspi ci
onsar er i
ghtt
hent hat
meansKhany iwaskill
edbyRel li
k,andthat
meanst hatZikhonaandSky larareindanger .I
hopet hosestupidbit
chesdonotment ionmy
name, becauseRelli
kwi l
lal
soki llme.Andhe
didwar nmeabouthur ti
ngLona.ButIwi ll
do
anythi
ngt ogethimt obemi ne.AndI '
m not
stoppingnow, Khanyi
'sdeathcannotbei nv ain.
Therenogoi ngbacknow.Ial readyhave
start
edandIwi l
lgetRell
iki
nt heend.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Wewentt oStreetFeverandlookedatt
he
sneaker
s.Ikeptlooki
nguntil
IfoundtheoneI
real
lywant
ed.

Me:
Iam soget
ti
ngt
hese.Theyl
ookdope.
Xav
ier
:theyl
ookal
ri
ght
.
Me:li
ar,t
heylookdope.I
'
llbuyy
ousomet
oo,
I
gotcash.*chuckl
es*

Iwasj
oki
ng,buthegl
aredatmemaki
ngme
l
aughmore.

Me:whycan'
tIbuyyouthesesneaker
sbuty
ou
buymealotofthi
ngs?
Xav
ier
:becauset
hat
'snothowi
t'
ssupposedt
o
wor
k.
Me:
thi
sisnot1980wher
emal
eshadt
otake
car
eofthei
rfemales.Thisi
s2017andwomen
canbuythi
ngsforment oo.
Xavi
er:
wellmymindisst
il
li
n1980andi
tisst
il
l
goi
ngtoremai
nthere.
Me:
mxm,I
'
llgopayf
ort
hese.
Xav
ier
:don'
ttestme,
Lel
ona.
Me:
*rol
l
sey
es*angerf
orwhat
?*chuckl
es*
Xavi
er:
Iwi l
lbuyt
hesneaker
sfort
hebot
hofus,
j
ustnotlety
oubuythem f
orme.
Me:nextti
meiam goi
ngshoppi
ng,Iwon'tt
ell
youbecausey
ouarebuyalotoft
hingsf
orme.
I
tisannoyi
ng.
Xav
ier
:mebei
ngamani
sannoy
ing?*
chuckl
es*
Me:no,youdisr
especti
ngmydecisi
ontonotlet
youbuymest uffi
sannoyi
ngbecauseIl
ike
bei
ngindependentandbuyi
ngmyownt hings.I
t
makesmef eelgood.
Xav
ier
:wel
lyouwi
l
lfeel
evenbet
terknowi
ng
y
ouwon'
tuseacentwheny
ouar
ewi
thme.
Me:
wit
hyou?
Xav
ier
:yes,
wheny
ouaregoingt
oplaceswit
h
me.Whatdidy
out
hinkIwassay
ing?*smir
ks*

Xavi
ert hinksheissmar t.Hei ssayi
ng
somet hingelsebutitactuall
ymeanssomet hi
ng
el
set omakemef eelconfused.Idon'teven
knowwhatt othink.Idon'tknowifhemeans
whenIam wi thhim asindat i
ngorasi nus
shoppingar oundandhangi ngout .Hejustl
oves
confusingme.

Me:
nev
ermi
nd.

Hejustsmiledatmeandwel ookforsomeone
tol
ookf oroursi
zes.Whenthepersonfinal
ly
cameback, wewenttopay.Wellhepaid,Idi
d
notevenwantt r
oubl
esoIjustkeptqui
et .Heis
aguywi thanegoandhel ikesknowi ngpeopl e
aroundhi m arewel ltakencar eof ,t
hat'
swhatI
noticedwi t
hhi m.Hel i
kescont oll
ingthi
ngsand
hewi llgetangr ywhent hi
ngsdonotgohi sway.
Butt hat'
snotabadt hi
ng,i tshowshei sa
perfectionisthel i
kesev erythingtobeper fect
andIam sur ehepl ansev erythinghedoes.Il i
ke
that,itmeanshei sver ysur eabouthi sfuture.
Het ookt hebagandwewal kedouthol ding
hands.Hel ookedatme, Ithinkhewasshocked
thatIwast heonewhot ookhi shandandhel di
t.
Heusual lydoesi t.Hesmi ledandIsmi l
edt oo.
Whenwewer eout ,
If r
ownedwhenIsaw
trouble.Kennysmi r
kedwhenhesawXav ier.
Xav i
ergl aredathi m.Gosh, whydi dwehav eto
bumpi ntohi mt oday!?
.
.
.
.
.
LONA'
SSELFI
E
[
02/
17,
16:
44]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT18
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
IheldXavi
er'
shandt i
ghtert
otel
lhi
mt ocontr
ol
hisangerbecauseIknowhim.He'l
lwantto
fi
ghtfornoreasonatall
.Hecouldj
ustavoi
d
thi
sbyignori
ngKenny .

Kenny
:enonsont
moetweer(
andwemeet
agai
n.Nowi
nmyt
err
it
ory
.)
Me:
Xav
ier
,pl
easel
et'
sjustgo.*
whi
sper
s*
Kenny
:youshoul
dli
stent
oyourbi
tch,
Rel
l
ik.
Xavi
er:Idar
ey out
ocal
lherabi
tchonemor
e
ti
me.*angry*

Ipull
edXavier,
sohecanjustcal
m down.But
thatonl
yfueledhi
sanger.Hereal
lywantedt
o
fi
ghtandIjustwantedt
oleave.

Kenny
:she'
sabi
tch.

Nextt hi
ngIknow, Xavi
erwasont opofKenny
throwingpunches.Hegotupandst ar
ted
kickinghim.Iwasnowont hever
geoft ear
s.I
hav eneverseenXav i
ert
hisangryandhewas
scaringme.Ev er
yonestart
edformingaci r
cle
aroundt hem,thefi
ghtwasquicklybrokenoff.I
waswor ri
edt hatthepol icewoul dcomeher e
andar r
estXav i
er.Xav i
erwasangr yasf uck,I
couldseehismout hwasbl eedi ngsoKennydi d
endupt hrowingsomepunchest oo.ButKenny
l
ookedmessedup, becauseoft her i
ngsRel l
ik
waswear ingonhi sf i
nger s.Ipickedupt he
plasti
cwithsneaker s.ThankGod, theywer en'
t
taken.Ipull
edXav ierawayf rom peopl e
becauseIdidnotwantt hisdr amaatal l.Iheld
hishandandt riedpul l
inghi mt owar dshiscar.

Me:canyoupl
easecontr
oly
ouranger?They
ar
eabouttocal
lthepol
i
ce.Letusjustgo.

Andt henIscreamedwhenIf el
tapunchonmy
si
decheekoutofnowher e.Ihel
dmycheeki n
pai
n,IlookedbackandKennywast ryi
ngt
o
punchXav i
erbutitlandedonme.Xav i
ert
hrew
apunchathi m andKennyducked,thenwhen
hegotup,Xav ierquickl
ysneakedapunchand
i
tlandedst rai
ghtt ohisnose.Thef ightwas
brokenupagai n.Peopl ewerehy pi
ngt hisup.I
wasst il
linpainbecauseofmycheek.Thi s
holi
dayj ustwon'tletmehav emer elax.Fir
stmy
mot herwhoopsmyass.NowIhav ebeen
punched,uni ntenti
onallyIknow,butst il
lIhav
e
beenpunched.Somer andom guy shelpedme
getXav i
erinthecarbecausehewassoangr y.
Hedi dnotwantt oleave.Hewant edt o
continuebeatingKennyup.Af t
erget ti
nghimin
thepassengerseat .

Me:
giv
emet
hekey
s.
Xav
ier
:fuckno.

Hetouchedmychinandcheckedmycheek.
Thenhesli
ghtl
ybrushedi
t,Iwi
nced.Hi
sjaw
cl
enchedinanger
.
Me:
Iam f
ine.
Xav
ier
:hef
ucki
ngt
ouchedy
ou!
Me:
Giv
emet
hekey
s,Xav
ier
.
Xav
ier:
IswearIam goi
ngt
oki
l
lthat
mother
fucker
!

Hewil
lnotki
ll
anyone.Iwi
ll
tal
ktohim but
whenhe'
scalmeddown.Becausether
eisno
uset
alki
ngtohim whenhei
sli
kethis.

Me:Xav
ier
.Iam notplay
ing.Gi
vemethe
f
ucki
ngkeysbef
oreItakethem my
sel
f!

Iwasupset,ifhehadjustignoredKennyt henI
wouldhavenotbeent ouchedi nthefucki
ng
face.Hetookthem outofhi ssweatpantsand
gavethem tome.Iplacedt heplast
ic
underneat
htheseathewassi tti
ngin.
Me:andyoubett
ernotmov ewhenIcl
osethis
doorandIwil
ldr
ivet
hiscartot
heB&B.Letthis
pett
ybull
shi
tgo!

Iwentt otheot hersi

de.Ipr ayt her ei
sn'tany
traff
ictodaybecauseIdon' thav eal earner'
s.
AndI 'm al
readydrivi
ngcar s.Nor mal lyIdroveto
theB&Bandl uckil
yforme, therewasn' tany
traff
icalongtheway .Ont her ide, Idi
dnotev en
utteronewor d.AndXav i
erunder stood,sohe
didn'teventalkto.Afterparking,webot hgot
out.Hegotoutwi ththeplast i
c.Iwal kedt oour
room.

Xav
ier
:Lel
ona.
Me:
donotev
ent
alkt
omer
ightnow!

Oncewear
ri
vedi
nourr
oom.Iwentt
ocheck
mycheekandi twaspink.I
twasabi tswol
len
too.Butitwasn'tt
oomuchdamageasIt hought
i
twoul dbe.Idranksomepainki
l
ler
st ot
ake
awayt hepai
n.

Xavier
:whatthefuckdi
dIdo?Iwasdefendi
ng
you!*angr
y*youwantmet ol
etpeopl
e
disr
espectyou?!
Me:y
oudonottoreactwi
thvi
olenceev
ery
si
ngl
eti
mepeopletal
kshi
t!
Xavier
:hecal
l
edy
ouabi t
chandhefucki
ng
thr
ewapunchatyou.Icannotl
ethi
m doshi
t
l
ikethat.
Me:
justst
ayher
eI'
l
lbeback.
Xav
ier
:wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Me:
Isai
dst
ayher
e
Xavi
er:
donotf
ucki
ngt
estme,
Lel
ona.Nowi
s
notagoodt
ime.
Me:iam j
ustgoi
ngt
othemainrecepti
on.Do
youwanttohol
dmyhandthr
ought hat!
?

Iangr il
ywalkedt other ecepti
onandaskedf or
af ir
stai dkitforXav i
erbecausehewas
bleedi nginhismout h.Butheact ssot oughas
i
fhedoesn' tf
eel shit
.Gosh, Isomet i
meshat e
howmanl yhei s.Ijustwishhecoul dcontr
ol hi
s
fucki ngangerandst opent er
tai
ni ngbull
shitand
react ingwithv i
olence.Iwasgi v enthefir
stai d
kit.Ir ushedtot heroom, andwhenIwast here,I
wasshockedt oseeJRand4ot herguy sthere.
Xav ierwasst illangry,andwalkingupanddown
whi l
et heywerej uststandi
ngstill.

Xavi
er:Iwanthi
m gone!Idon'
tgi
veaf
uck
aboutastupi
dwar.

Ishookmyhead,
andpul
l
edhi
mtosi
tdownon
t
hebed.ThenIopenedt
hef
ir
stai
dki
t

Me:don'
tli
stent
ohi
m guy
s.That
'
sjustt
he
angert
alki
ng.
Xavi
er:
Lelona,hefucki
ngt
ouchedy
ou.Ican
notl
etthatsl
ide.
Me:
youar
enot
.Youar
ebei
ngmat
ureabouti
t.

Ist
art
edbycl
eani
ngt
hebl
oodof
fwi
thawet
cl
oth.

JR:ndinqi
nel
anoLonakule.Imfazweayont
o
uyi
funayookanyeoyi
dingayo(Iam wi
thLonaon
thi
sone.Wari snotsomethingyouwantnor
need.
)
Xavi
er:whot
hef
uckaskedy
ouabouty
our
opi
nion?
IslappedXav i
eronhisar m.Helookedupatme
si
ncemesi nceIwasst andi
ngupandhewas
si
ttingonthebed.ThenIputt hecolor
lessspi
rit
onhi sl
it
tl
ecutt hatwasnearhismout hwhich
hiswhyhewasbl eeding.Hewincedoncethe
colorl
essspiri
ttouchedhiswound.

Xav
ier
:andwhyt
hef
uckar
eyoucal
l
ingherLon-
me:
Isai
dso.St
opbei
ngr
ude.
Xav
ier
:Lel
ona-
Me: no.Thesearehumanstoo.Andyouarenot
ki
ll
ingKenny ,
awari st
oomuch.Iam sureyou
donotwantt odie.Nowstopfeedi
ngint
oyour
ego,andcalm down.

Theguy ssmiledatme,Xavierj
ustchuckl
ed
shakinghishead.Iwenttogethissome
painkil
l
ersandwat er
.ThenIgavethem tohi
m.
Me:
dri
nkup.

Hedrankthemedicat
ionandgavemebackt
he
bott
leofwater
.Theli
ttl
efr
idgehadpl
ent
yof
sti
l
lwater
.

Me:guy s,
cany oupleasecomebackwhenheis
cal
m andr ef
reshed?Iam goingt
omakesure
hesleepsandt hi
nkscareful
l
y.

Ialmostf ellwhenXav ierpull

edmet ohislap,
becauseIdi dn'texpecti t.Theguy swer e
cheesingatus, andIj uststar
t edgetti
ng
butter
fli
esi nmyst omach, becauseXav i
er
kissedmyshoul der .I
t'stheli
ttlethi
ngshedoes
thatmakemydev el opmor efeeli
ngsforhim.
Theguy sl ef
tandIl ookedatXav i
er.Hiswound
wasl i
ttl
ebutst il
litwasacut .It r
iedtotouchi
t
buthewi nced.
Me:
iti
spai
nful
?
Xav
ier
:al
i
ttl
ebi
t.

Hetouchedmybr
uisedcheek.Icoul
dsense
t
hathewasbecomingangryagain.

Me:
iti
sfi
ner
eal
l
y.
Xavier
:Ifeelli
kekill
i
nghim wi
thmyownhands
forevencall
ingy ouabit
chandhemadeit
worsebyt ouchingyou.Hekeepsf
ucki
ng
provoki
ngme.
Me:becauseheknowsyouwill
reacti
nanger.
Nextt
imejustl
ethimtal
khisbull
shi
tandnot
r
espond.Ever
yonewil
lseehowdumbhei s.
Xavi
er:noti
nthestr
eets.Il
ethim walkal
lov
er
me,thenI'
m apussy.Ineedti
met eachhi
ma
l
esson.
Me:
whaty
ouneedt
odoi
srest
.

Igotupf r
om hi slap,andopenedt hebed
coversforhim.Hesmi ledandtookoffhi
s
sweaterthenhi sshoeshewasnowshi r
tl
ess
becauseheal sotookof fhist
anktop.Healso
tookoffhissweat pant sandworeblackshort
s.
Iquiet
lyclearlymyt hroat,hei
sreall
ygett
ing
toocomf ortable.Hegoti nthebed.

Xav
ier
:am Iachi
l
dnow?
Me:wheny
ouar
ebehav
ingl
i
keone.Yesy
ou
ar
e.
Xav
ier
:Iseey
oul
i
kecont
rol
l
ingt
hingst
oo.
Me:
itf
eel
sat
adbi
tgood.
Xavi
er:
butnextt
ime.Letmeaddressmyboys.
Idonotwantyouinv
olvedi
nanygangshit
.And
whenyou'
retooni
cetheywil
lwal
kallov
eryou.
Me:theyarehumans, t
heyhavefeel
ings.You
bel
it
tl
ingJRlikethatwasnotcoolatall
.AndI
havetotel
lyouthetrut
hifIdonotli
ke
somethi
ngandIdi dnotli
kethat
.
Xav
ier
:fi
ne.Justt
alkt
omepr
ivat
elynoti
nfr
ont
oft
hem.

Ismiledthenwentt otheothersi deofthebed.I

tookoffmyshoesandt ookhi smi l
it
aryshi
rt
thenrushedtothebat hroom tochange.Iwas
scaredagaintoleavethebat hroom withonl
y
thi
sshor tt
-shi
rt
.Ifinal
lyquickl
ywentoutand
gotinthebed.Hel ookedatmeandj ust
chuckledatmychi l
dishacti
ons.Hewas
watchingrugbyont heTV.

Me:
cany
oupl
easepassmyphone?
Xav
ier
:geti
tyour
sel
f*smi
rks*
Me:
Xav
ieri
tisnex
ttoy
ou.
Xav
ier
:geti
tyour
sel
f,Lel
ona.

Igroaned.Thiswashi sexcuset oseemyass

becauseclearlytheshir
tistooshortandmy
asswi ll
beex posed.Idecidedtosacri
fi
cemy
phone.Hechuckl edwhenIf oldedmyarmsand
l
eanedagai nstthedashboard.Thenhet ookmy
phoneoutofhi slaptopandgav eittome.I
smiledandcheckedmyWhat sAppmessages
andt heywerenonet hat'
showmyl i
fewas
boring.Xavi
ershockedmewhenhepul l
edme
cl
osert ohi
m.

Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?*
blushes*

Hewr appedhishandaroundmywaist
.Heheld
mywai standlai
dhisheadonmychest,well
my
breast
s.Myhear tst
art
edbeat i
ngf
ast
,Iqui
ckly
contai
nedmy sel
fbefor
ehef eel
smyheart
beat
beati
ngfast
.Hewasdoi
ngt
hiswhi
l
econt
inui
ng
watchi
ngTV.

Xav
ier
:get
ti
ngcomf
ort
abl
e.
Me:
onme?
Xavi
er:
yesnow, qui
etdown.Thegamei
s
get
ti
ngint
erest
ing.

Ijustsmi l
edathi m andl ethim becomf ortabl
e.
Iwant edtobr ushhi sli
ttl
ecur l
yhairbutthenI
didnotwantt omakei tseem awkwar d.ButI
wentwi t
hmyf ir
stinsti
nctandbr ushedhi sli
ttl
e
wav yhair.Icouldseehewasenj oyingthis.He
wasev ensmi li
ng.Ihav enev erbeenthisclose
toanyguyt hatisn'tmyf ami l
y.I
t'
slikeIam
mov ingwayt oofastwi t
hXav i
er.Even
practical
lyli
vewi thhim wi t
houtmycl othes.He
l
ay sonmybr eastsandIl ethim.Heki ssesmy
cheekandIl ethim, earl
iertodayIsleptwayt oo
closetohi m bef oreIwokeupwi thhim nowher e
tobef ound.If eel l
ikeIam ev enf orgetting
Omar ,andIdonotl ikethatfeelingbecause
Omarmeantsomucht ome,andIdonotwant
toseem l ikeInev ercaredabouthi m becauseI
reall
ydid.Xav i
erandOmarar ereallydi fferent
peopley ett heybot hmakemef eelspeci al,
whatam Isay i
ng?Omari sdeadandhei snot
comi ngback.Hemademef eel speci al.Past
tense,nowhei sgone.AndIcannotkeep
compar i
ngXav iertoadeadper son.Iwantt o
mov eonf rom whatmeandOmarshar ed
becausecl earl
yi tisnotcomi ngback.Butt hen
Xav i
erseemsl ikethet y
pet ohav epl ent yof
girl
sbeggi ngforhi m.Am Iwi l
li
ngt ol ethi splay
withmyf eelingsbecauseIam sur ehehasdone
i
twi thplent yofgi rl
s.Whati sdifferentaboutme?
Iam anobody ,justaner d.Hepr obabl yseesme
asaki dorhei sdoi ngall ofthistoj ustt ogeti n
mypant iesandsayhehadsexwi thme.I fheis
realthenIcannotdat esomeonewi thanger
i
ssues.Sot hiscr ush,it'sjustacr ushthatIdo
notseegoi ngany wher e.Itwillfadeov erat
l
eastIhopei tdoes.Af terawhi l
e, Iheardhim
breatheheav il
yl i
kehewassl eeping.Ismi led
andj ustcontinuedbr ushinghishai rbecausehe
needst herest .Thisgav emeachancet o
admi reouthi stattoosandwhol ebody .His
tatt
ooswer eal otandv eryintri
guing.If r
owned
whenIsawt hebr uiseshehadonhi shands.I
couldseehet ookof fhisr i
ngs.Idonotwant
Xavierinvolvedi nfightsbecauseofme.He
couldgetr eallyhur torgetj ai
lti
mebecauseof
him notcont roll
inghi sanger .Icareful
lytook
theremot et ochanget hechannel but
accidentall
ywokehi m.

Me:
sor
ry,
youcangobackt
osl
eep.

Hejustnoddedandheldmeti
ght
erandI
br
ushedhisheadagaintomakehi
m sl
eep.I
thi
nktheypai
nkil
lersweremaki nghim sl
eepy.
Hesleptagai
nasIwaswat chedKeepingUp
WithTheKardashians.Iwasinlovewithreal
i
ty
showseventhoughsomear ejustf
ixed.
~~
Hewokeupat6pm wel lhi
sphonerang,andI
hadt owakehim upbecauseIdidnotwantto
i
nv adehispri
vacyandanswerthecall
.He
groanedwakingupandsnat chedhi
sphone
fr
om t hesi
deboard.

Xav
ier
:what
?

Ishookmyheadathisrudeness.Hecuddl
edon
mychestagai
n.Ij
ustsmiled,becausehei
s
acti
ngli
keababy.Helovesat t
enti
on.

Xavi
er:
Itol
dyouIwil
lbebackther
enextweek.
..
Scr
appyIam sur
eiti
snotthatf
ucki
ngbad,I
wi
ll
handl
eitwhenIcomeback.
..j
usthandl
eit
f
ornowandIwil
lfi
xever
ythi
ngwhenIretur
n.

Thenhehungup.Hegotup, andcheckedmy
cheek.Ij
ustsmiledathim cari
ngsomuchf or
me.Af t
erthatheconti
nuedcuddlingwithme,
andjustwatchedtheTV.

Me:
lookwho'
sthebabynow.
Xav
ier
:hoej
oubek(
hol
dyourmout
h)
Me:
*chuckl
es*y
ouj
ustl
oveat
tent
ion.
Xavier
:thi
sisacomf
ort
abl
espotf
orme.
*chuckl
es*
Me:
yeahwhat
ever
.
Xav
ier
:andwhatt
hef
uckar
eyouwat
chi
ng?
Me:
donotj
udge.*
laughs*
Xav
ier
:thi
ngsy
ougi
rl
swat
ch.*
shakeshead*
Just5mi nuteslater,foodwasser vedforhim.I
mademyownl ittl
esupperwi t
ht hefoodIgot
from Checkers.Itdidn'tr
equi
remet ocookitso
Iwashappy .Af t
erweat eourfood,Idecided
thatIneededt otalktoXav i
eraboutt hi
swhole
warthing.Idonotwantt odie.

Me:
weneedt
otal
k.
Xav
ier
:soundsser
ious.
Me:
iti
s.
Xav
ier
:okay
,Iam l
i
steni
ng.
Me:
youcannotki
l
lKenny
.
Xav
ier
:Lona-
Me: no,l
ist
en.Anunnecessar
ywarwi l
lget
createdandpeopl
ewillgetki
l
led.Idonotwant
todie.Iam onl
y18
Xav
ier
:whi
l
eIam st
il
lal
i
ve,
noonewi
l
ltouch
y
ou.
Me: whataboutyourfami
ly?Myf amily?The
i
nnocentpeoplethatwil
lbehurtthroughall
of
thi
s.PleaseXavi
er.Pl
easedon'tstart
somethingyouwon'tbeabletofini
sh.Ihearda
l
otaboutgangwar s.Theyneverendwel l
.
Xavi
er:nextt
imehedoesf
uckedupshi
t.Iwi
l
l
hav
et okil
lme.
Me:
sot
hatmeansy
ouwon'
tki
l
lhi
m?
Xav
ier
:I'
mlet
ti
ngt
hisonesl
i
de.

Isqueal
edandhuggedhi
m.Hechuckl
edashe
huggedmeaswell.

Xavier
:tomorr
owIwi
l
lgogety
ourcl
othesf
rom
yourhouse.
Me:
youcannotgoal
onemymom wi
l
lfl
i
p
Xav
ier
:Icanhandl
eher
.
Me:
Xav
ier
..
..
Xavi
er:t
rustme.Iam j
ustgoi
ngt
otaket
he
sui
tcaseandleav
e.
Me:
Iwi
l
lbet
her
e.
Xav
ier
:no.Youwi
l
lbeher
e.
Me:
am Iapr
isonerher
e?
Xav
ier
:no,
butIam keepi
ngy
ousaf
-
Me:thenIam comingwith.Ihav
etoseemy
mom aftert
hatinci
dent
.Shemustbeworri
ed
aboutwhereIam.
Xav
ier
:*si
ghs*whyi
sitt
haty
ounev
erl
i
stent
o
me?
Me:
becausey
oual
sonev
erl
i
stent
ome.
Xav
ier
:*l
aughs*y
ouar
esomet
hingel
se.
Me:
Iknowri
ght
!?Suchanamazi
ngper
sonIam
*
smirks*
Xav
ier
:okay
,youhangaroundmetoomuch.
Nowmyswagi sr
ubbingoffony
ou.
Me:yourcocki
nessi
srubbi
ngof
fonme,
you
mean.

Hechuckledthenwewat
chedsomeTVbuthe
keptannoyi
ngmebyworkingsomuchonhi
s
l
aptop.
~~
Tomor r
owIwokeupandaf termymorni
ng
hygi
ener out
ine.Hebor
rowedmehisoversi
zed
t-
shir
t.Iworeitwi
thmyjeansandwhi
te
sneakers.

Me:whenweretur
nIwi
l
lchangedandwewi
l
l
got
otheaquari
um.
Xav
ier
:okay
.

Wedrovetomyhouse,
andIwon'tl
ie.Iwas
ver
yscar
edofwhatwil
lhappen.Oncehe
parked,Iwasev enscaredt owalkout
.ImeanI
l
eftmyhomet oshar
ear oom wi t
hXavier.My
dadwi ll
verysodisappointed.Mom musthav e
al
readyt wist
edthestoryofwhathappenedt hat
day.Idon'tevenwanttot hinkofthewordsshe
wil
l saytome.

Xav
ier
:youar
eready
?
Me:
yeah.Let
'sgo.

Webot hwalkedout,andIknockedt helockon

thegat e.Aft
eralongt i
me.Myauntopenedt he
door.Shewasaboutt osaysomet hi
ng,butt
hen
shelookedatXav ieranddi dn'
tsayanythi
ng.
Sheopenedt hegate,andwal kedbackinthe
house.Wewal kedinthehouseandassoonasI
entered.Isawmymom, shestaredatme.My
heartst ar
tedbeati
ngf ast.
[
02/
17,
16:
44]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT19
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Lona'
slookedather
,ther
ewer
ejustst
ari
ngat
eachother
.

Mr
sD:
yourcl
othesar
einy
ourr
oom.

Lonanoddedwi t
htearyeyes.Iglar
edatLona'
s
mother,
ifshementionsanythingaboutme
beati
ngherup.IswearIwillki
llherandbe
happyaboutit
.Iwon'tl
oseLonabecauseofher .
Especi
all
ywhenLonaisstar
tingtotrustme.
Lonawenttoherroom,andtookhersui t
case
fr
om herroom.If
oll
owedafterher.Shestar
ted
sni
ffi
ng.

Me:
arey
ouokay
?
Lona: sheisnotevenapologi
singforhurti
ng
me.Ir eturnhomethinki
ngshei sworr
iedbut
shejustt el
lsmemycl othesar
ei nmyr oom.
Whatt ypeofmot herdoesthat
!?Gosh,
somet imesIhatehersomuchf ormakingme
feel
likeIdon'tmatter.
Me:hey
!Youdomat ter
.Al
ot,
especi
all
ytome.
..
.andyourbr
other
s.
Lona:
thanks.*
smi
l
es*

Icoul
dseethatshewassmil
ingpainful
ly
becauseshej
ustwantedt
ocryall
herpai n
away.AndIdi
dnotli
keseei
nghercr yatall
.It
's
l
ikeakni feisbei ngtwistedi nmyhear tseeing
tearsonherf ace.Shepi ckedupasmal lbook
thatlookedlikeadi aryandIhel pedherwi thher
bigsuitcase.Oncewewentout side,hermom
rushedt olockt hegatewi thoutevensay i
ng
goodby etoLona.Thesui tcasewasachal l
enge
putti
ngi ti
nt hecarbecauseoft hepai ninmy
hands, butImanaged.Iopenedt hedoorf or
Lonaandshegoti n.Irushedt omysi deandI
spedt otheB&B.Iopenedt hedoorforheragain
andt ookouthersui t
case.Whenwear r
ivedin
myr oom, shet hrewher selfonthebedand
closedherey eslooki
ngupatt heceili
ng.

Me:
youst
il
lwantt
ogot
otheaquar
ium?
Lona:
yespl
ease.
Me:
let
'sbot
hchangeandwe'
l
lgo.

Shenoddedandgotup.Sheopenedher
suitcaseandt ookoutt heclot
hessheneeded,
shewal kedtothebat hroom tochange.Ial so
changedi nt
omywhi teGucci hoodi e.Anda
blackbomberj acket.Thenwor emyr edGucci
headband.Iwaswear ingmybl ackkneer ipped
j
eanswi thwhitesneaker s.Afteralongt ime,
shecameoutwear i
ngabl acksupr emehoodi e
andt ightbluekneer i
ppedj eanst henhadon
blackkneehi ghboot st hatwer eli
kehi ghheels.
Herhai rwasi namessybun.Il ovet hatshe
neverwear smakeup.I tmakesherl ookmor e
beaut if
ulthansheal r
eadyi t.

Me:
all
done?
Lona:
yes.

Iwal
kedcl
osert
oherandhel
dherwai
st.She
l
ookedupatme.
Me:t
hisiswhyIdidnotwanty
out
ogot
her
e.
Sher
uinsyourspi
ri
t.
Lona:
Iam sor
ry.
Me:don'
tbe.Sheshoul
dbe.Now for
getabout
herf
orali
tt
lebitandt
rytohav
efun.
Lona:
Iwi
l
l.*
smi
l
es*

Iki
ssedherf
oreheadandshewr
appedher
handsar
oundmybodyhuggingme.

Lona:t
hanky ouforeveryt
hing.Real
ly
.Wi t
hout
you,Iprobablywouldn'
thavesurvi
vedanyof
theset
hings.Ireal
l
yappreciatewhatyouhave
doneforme.
Me:
diti
s'npl
esi
er.(
Iti
sapl
easur
e)

Shesmil
edandthenbr
okeoffthehug.When
weret
urnfr
om t
heaquari
um Iwil
laskLonat
o
bemygi rl
fr
iendIam ti
redofbeatingaroundthe
bushabouthowIf eel
.Iwanthert obemi neand
onlymine.Whenwewal kedoutIdecidedto
sendJRaqui ckmessaget odor omanticshi
t
forLonawhenIr et
urnfrom EastLondon.

Me:doenietsromanti
esesoosindief
ilmsvi
r
Lona(dosomet hi
ngsromanti
cli
keinthe
moviesforLona)intheroom,Iwantt
osurpr
ise
herwhenIgetback.
JR :
sur
ethi
ng,
bozza.

IopenedthedoorforLonaandshet hankedme
gett
ingi
n.Irushedtotheothersi
de.Myphone
rangwhenIstartedt
hecar.ItwasScrappy.

Me:
Scr
ap.
Scr
appy
:youneedt
oret
urnASAP.
Me:Itol
dyou,ni
gga.Ekwi
llj
ousi
enindi
e
vol
gendeweek.(
Iwil
lseey
ounextweek)
Scrappy: Kennyispl
anni
ngtodosomethingt
o
you.Ourspycal ledmeyest
erday
.Youarein
histerri
tory,youknowGhostcannotpr
otect
yout her
e.
Me:
Iheary
ou.
Scrappy
:event houghhecan'
tki
l
lyoubecause
ofthewar.Itdoesn'tmeanhewon'
thurtyou.
KeepLonasaf e.
Me:
fede(
shar
p)

Ihungupt hecal
l.IdidnotLonat owor r
y ,soI
didn'
tcancelt
heaquar i
um t r
ip.Idroveof fto
EastLondon.Shedi dn'tknowEastLondont hat
wellsoIhadGoogl ewher etheaquar ium was.
OnceIfoundthedest ination,IusedaGPSapp
onmyphonet ol
eadust othepl ace.Whenwe
fi
nall
yarri
ved,shehadt hisbigsmi le.Ithink
shewasr
eal
l
yexci
ted.

Me:
andwe'
ref
inal
l
yher
e.

Igotoutandopenedt hedoorf orher.She

walkedout,andheldmyhand.Ismi led
becauseclearl
yshehadf eeli
ngsformenow.
Mypl anworked.Ieli
minatedOmar ,becameher
comf or
terandfinal
l
yshedev elopedfeelingsf
or
me.Ipaidthemoneyt ogetinandwewent
i
nside.Icouldseehowherey esli
tupev ery
ti
meshewoul dseeaf i
sh.

Lona:
wow.

Shegaspedwhenshesawashar k.Ismil
edat
herbecauseshel ookedsofuckingbeautif
ul.I
don'
tunderstandhowagi rl
likethisdoesn'
tsee
howbeaut i
fulsheis?Shehast hemostper f
ect
body .Thej eanswer esof ucki ngtight ,itmade
herasspopout .Lonai ssoamazi ng, andt he
thi
ngt hatmakeshermor ebeaut i
ful i
st hatshe
doesn'tbr agaboutherbeaut y.Shei sj ust
chill
ed,andwhatshedi dwi ththef irstai dkit
showedmet hatsher eal l
ycar esandshei s
will
ingt odowhat everf orme.Shekeepsme
calm andawayf r
om maki ngi rrati
onal deci sions.
Ifi
twasn' tforherIwoul d'v ekill
edKennyanda
bigwarwoul d'
vebeencr eat ed,becauseKenny '
s
fatherisv erypower ful.Andawarwi thhi m
couldmeant hatIam di ggi ngmyowngr ave.I
cannotj ustputLona' slifei ndangerl iket hat.
Shei sstilli
nherf ir
sty ear .Shel ovesher
academi csandIwantt ol etherf i
nishher
studiessoIwon' tjeopar di set hatforher .She
meansal ottome.Idon' tev enbel iev et hatI
actuall
yam f al
li
ngf orher .Inev erpl annedt o
feelthisway ,f
all
i
ngi nl ov eandbei nga
gangst erisabadt hing.Becausey ourl ov er
becomesy ourweakness.
Lona:
arey
ouokay
?
Me:
ja
Lona:
youhav
ebeenqui
et.
Me:
ekdi
nkoori
ets.(
I'
mthi
nki
ngofsomet
hing)
Lona:
whati
sit
?
Me:
wher
edi
dyoul
ear
naf
ri
kaans?*
chuckl
es*
Lona:t
hat'
swhaty
ouar
ethi
nki
ngabout
?
*l
aughs*
Me:no,
buti
t'
saquest
ionIal
way
swantt
oask
you.
Lona:ItookAf
ri
kaansasasubj
ecti
nhi
gh-
school.
Me:
soy
oucanspeaki
t*smi
l
es*
Lona:
no*
chuckl
es*butIunder
standi
t.
Me:
youshoul
dsur
pri
semeandspeaki
nit
.
Lona:
yeah,
no*
laughs*nowt
ell
mewhaty
ou
werethinki
ngaboutt
haty
oucannotenj
oyt
his
beaut
ifulpl
ace.
Me:
justaboutl
i
ghtst
uff
.Iti
snoti
mpor
tant
.
Lona:j
ustt
ell
meandst
opbei
ngdr
amat
ic.
*smil
es*
Me:
Iwi
l
ltel
lyouwhenwegetbackt
otheB&B.
Lona:
whycan'
tyouj
ustt
ell
menow?
Me:
becauseandi
funi(
Idon'
twantt
o.)

Shel aughedatmespeaki ngXhosaIdon' tknow

whyshekeepsl aughingatmespeaki ngXhosa
becauseIspeaki twel l.Iwr appedmyar m
aroundhershoul derandwewal kedar oundt he
placewi t
hhertalkingnon- stopabouthowcool
thisshiti
s.Iam nott her omant ictype,t hat'
s
whyIcommandedJRt odot hatshitinthe
room.Idon' tev
enknowwhathewi lldoasl ong
asLonal ovesittheni tisokaywi t
hme.Af t
er
theaquar i
um wewentt ogetsomet hingt oeat.
Butshesaidshewasn'thungrysoIhadtopark
atSparandforceheroutthecartogetherf
ood.

Lona:
Ireal
l
yam nothungr
y*chuckl
es*
Me:
justgetsomet
hingt
oeat
.

Shetookdryf
rui
tandsomey oghur
tthenj
uice.I
shookmyhead.Ihavet
oconv i
ncehertoeat
properf
oodwhenwegetbackhome.I twasa
bitl
atesoIdi
dn'
twanti
tcauseastupidfi
ghtin
Spar.

Me:
youwanttogohomei
mmediat
ely
?Ori
s
t
her
esomethi
ngelsey
ouwantt
odo?
Lona:
Iam t
ir
ed,
so,
homepl
ease.
Me:
okay
.

Ipai
dforhert
hingsandwewentt
othecar
.I
wenttoadr iv
ebyMcDonal d'
stogetsomet hing
formet oeat.Thenwedr oveof fbackhome.
Wewer etheonlyonesinthefreeway ,andit
didn'
tfeelqui
tebadunt i
l
...Isawcar sblocking
theway .IwaspissedbecauseKennymayhav e
somethingtodowi ththi
s.Iquicklytookoutmy
phoneandgav eitt
oLona.

Me:immedi
atel
ycal
lJRandt
ell
them t
ocome
her
efast
.
Lona:
whydon'
tyoudoi
tyour
sel
f?
Me:
Ihav
etohandl
esomet
hingf
ir
st.

Shelookedatt
hecar
s,andst
art
edbr
eat
hing
heav
y .

Lona:
Xav
ierno!Youcannotgooutt
her
e.What
i
f-
Me:notquest
ions.Cal
lJR.Anddonotgetout
oft
hiscar.

Shenoddedscar
ed,
Isi
ghedandhel
dherf
ace.

Me:Iam ser
iousLona.Nomatt
erwhat
happensdonotleav
ethi
scar
.

Shelookedscar edandjustnoddedbecause
theywereal otofcars.Pr
obablyli
ke6carsand
Iwasonl yone.Scrappywasr i
ght,i
tis
dangerousformebei nginthei
rterr
it
ory.

Me:onceyougetout.Theywill
thi
nkyouar
e
i
nvol
vingyour
selfi
nitandtheywil
ldo
somethi
ngcrazy
.

Shel
ookedatmewi
tht
ear
yey
es.
Me:
Iwi
l
lbeokay
.

Imadesur emygunwassecur edinthebackof

myj eansandIgotoutthecar .OnceIlocked
thedoor swit
hat ouchofabut toninmykeys.
Shequi ckl
ycall
edJR.Iwal kedclosertothe
carsthatwerebusyalsoblastingTrapmusic.
Kennywal kedoutofaMer cedesBenzAMG.
Thent herestst
artedwalki
ngout .

Me:asneakat
tack?*
chuckl
es*y
ouar
eget
ti
ng
weakerbyt
heday.
Kenny
:sweetLonawon'
tthi
nkt
hatwhenIam
donewit
hyou*smir
ks*
Me:
awari
sn'
tsomet
hingy
ouwant
,Kennyboy
.

JustasmuchasIcan'
tki
l
lhi
m,hecan'
tki
l
lme.
Ghostwil
lgetpissedandawarwi l
lhappen.But
Kennylov
espr ovoki
ngmebecauseunl i
kehim, I
cannotcontrolmyangerthatmuch.I
f
someonemesseswi t
hmeorsomeoneIl ove.I
wantthem dead,andIwanttobetheonet hat
ki
ll
sthem.That '
swhyIwasnamedRel li
k
becausewhenIgetangryIbecomeaKi ll
er.

Kenny:
*chuckl
es*no,
butbeat
ingyouupjustt
o
scar
eyourgir
lwil
lmakemeav eryhappyni
gga.

Iwasnowmor eangry,
butIneedt
ocalm down
andst
all
them bytal
ki
ng,soJRandtheothers
canmakeither
e.

Me: j
ydinksywi l
lpr
aatmetjou?* chuckl
es*jy
droom groot
.(Youthinkshewil
ltalkwithyou?
Youdream big.)
Kenny
:syi
s'nmei
sie.Eendagsywi
lgeei
n
(
shei
sagir
l.Onedayshewi
l
lgi
vei
n)shegav
e
i
ntoy
ou.
Me:
Iam war
ningy
ou.
Kenny
:youwil
ldowhat
?* chuckl
es*l
ookatt
his
ni
ggathi
nki
ngheisst
il
ltough.

Allhi
sst upi
dlapdogslaughed.I
nmymi ndIwas
hopingLonawi l
lli
stentomeandr emaini
nthat
car.Butknowingmybaby .Shei
sstubbor
n,she
probablywil
lneverli
stentome.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
WhenXavi
erwalkedout
,Iqui
ckl
ycal
l
edJR.He
answer
edver
yfast.
Me:youneedt ocometothef
reeway,j
ustaft
er
Mdatsane.Wewer ecomi
ngbackfrom East
London.KennyhasambushedXavi
er.Youneed
tohurr
yup.
JR:
okay
,geti
nthecarandst
ayi
nthecar
.
Me:
okay
.Iam al
readyi
nthecar
.

Whydot heykeept el
li
ngmet ost ayinthecar?I
l
ookedatt hem, theyweret alki
ngf oralong
ti
me.Atev enonemomentt heybot hlookedat
meandcont i
nuedt al
king.Icoul dseeKenny
wasbei ngangr ierbythemi nut e.Outof
nowher ehet hrewapunchatXav ier
.Andt hat'
s
wher eXav ierwentcr azyandst artedbeati
ngt he
fuckoutofhi m.Theot herguy sst art
ed
attackingXav i
ert ooIcouldev enseet hem
takingouthi sgun.Iwasscr eami ngsoscar ed
theymi ghtact ual l
ykil
lhim.Icannotj ustsit
hereandwat cht hem beathi m upl i
kethatI
quicklyunl ockedmydoorandgotoutt hecar
andrant
oremovethem fr
om him.Oneguyheld
mebackroughl
y.Iwascryi
ngandcalli
ngXav
ier.
Hewasont het
arroadbl
eedingalotandI
coul
dseeherwasbadlyhurt
.

Kenny
:isn'
tshebeaut
if
ul?

Hewal
kedcl
osert
omeandIkeptsni
ff
ing.I
wi
shJRcoul
dgether
efast
er.

Xav
ier
:Isweari
fyouf
ucki
ngt
ouchheragai
n.
Kenny
:neverhaveIeverthoughty
ouwould
haveaweakness,Rel
l
ik.Youalwaysgambled
wit
hpeopl
e'sweaknessesnowi ti
syourt
urn.

Iwascryingl
ikecrazy,Xav
ierl
ookedatme
worri
ed.Iwassoscar edbecauseinti
mesli
ke
thi
speoplegetkidnappedorraped.Whyi
nthe
helldidIchooset ohangoutwi t
hagangst er
!?
NowIcan' tjustlethim gethur
tbecauseint he
processIgethur ttoo.WhatIfeelforhim Ican'
t
describebecauseIcannotsayi ti
slove,we
metl i
keamont haway .Iti
stoosoont osayi ti
s
l
ov e.Itr
iedtoningdownmycr i
es.Ididn'
twant
them tohurtXav iermorebecauseIwasl oud.I
didnotwantt hem t ohurtmeeither.

Kenny
:maybeanightwi
thherwon'
tbet
oo
much.Don'
tyougent
sthi
nk?

Myey espoppedouti nfear.Xaviertr

iedget t
ing
upbuthewaski ckeddownbyanot herbigguy .
Theoneholdingmet rieddr aggi
ngmet owards
acar.Iscr
eamedandr esisted.Theheel swer e
nohelpthoughandt heguywasv er
yt ough.I
scr
eamedandscr eamed.Iwasshov edinthe
car
.Itri
edgetti
ngoutbutt heguygoti nand
hel
dmest il
l.Anotherguygoti nont heot her
r
ightsi
de.

Me:
Xav
ier
!Xav
ier
!

Isawcarsappr
oachi
ng.t
heywer
espeedi
ngof
f
veryf
ast
.

Kenny
:getheroutofherf
ast
!*shout
ing*

Itri
edpoki
ngtheot herguyintheeye,i
twor ked
andIalsodi
ditont hedr i
versohecannotdr i
ve.
Icannotbekidnappedt oday!Notever,the
otherguywhowassi tti
ngintheri
ghtside
sl
appedmesohar d,Isawsomet inycolourful
stars.

?
?:dr
ive,
youi
diot
!
Thecarst
art
edmov i
ngsl
owlyandmyhear t
star
tedmovi
ngfast,
mybreathi
nggotabnor
mal
andIwasstr
uggli
ngtobr
eathe.

??
:itheninal
emedi
kaRel
l
ik?(
What
'swr
ong
wit
hRel l
i
k'sgi
rl
)

Ifelttheneedt ovomi tsobad, beforeIknewitI

wasv omi ti
ngont heguyont heright.Whowas
theonet alki
ngal ot.If el
tabitbetterat
breat hing.Theguyscr eamedandshout edat
met hent hemostscar i
estthi
nghappened.The
carwashi t
,makingitspi nandspi nunti
l i
t
stopped.Myheadwassosor ef rom the
spinni ngandf rom hit
tingthechairinfront.The
guysopenedt hedoor ,Iwaspul l
edoutoft he
car.IsawJR.

JR:
lethergo.
Het ri
edtocomecl oser,butIwasaimedwitha
gun.Igaspedt hinkingabouthowIam goingto
die.Iusedtopr ayfordeathtocomet ome,now
Iam soscar ed.Iwasgoi ngtohaveasecond
panicattack.Iscreamedwhenoneguywas
shot,andIdon'tev enknowwher ethebul
l
et
camef rom.Ist aredathisli
fel
essbodywith
tearsfol
lowingr epeatedl
y.

JR:
shoul
dIr
epeatmy
sel
f?

Iwasprayi
ngsohar d,evenpromisingGodIwi l
l
gotochurcht henextSunday .Ij
ustcannotlose
mylif
eatonl y18,mybr other
sstil
lneedme.I
hear
danot hershotfir
eof f
,Iwasjustcryi
ngand
aski
ngmy selfwhyt hi
shappenedi nmyl i
fe?I
missmybor ingli
fewi t
honlyjustbooksand
fami
ly.Whati shappeningtodayissoscaryI
don'
teverwantt otalkaboutitagai
n.Theguy
pushedmet owardsJRandtriedtorun.Buthe
gotshotbyJR.Ihaveneverseensomanydead
bodiesi
nmyl i
feandsomuchbl ood

JR:
sukhal
aumoj
a(don'
tcr
y,y
ou'
reokay
.)
Me:w-wher
eisXavi
er?Isheo-okay
?Canwe
j
ustgohomepleaseplease.
JR:ndi
zokuhambi
sakhona(
Iwi
l
ltakey
ou
ther
e)
Me:no.!No!Iam goi
ngwi
thXav
ier
.Wher
eis
he?Pleasetakemetohi
m.

Anot
herguycameclosert
ous,
Inoti
ceditwas
oneofXavi
er'
sguy
s.Hewasbehindthecar

Me:
hewast
heoneshoot
ing?
JR:
yeah,
thi
sisShoot
er.
Inodded,
wegoti
nthecar,andIwassti
l
l
shaki
ngscar
edfr
om whathappened.

JR:bozzaut
hendikubekestr
aightkwi
B&B
(bosssai
dIshoul
dt akeyoustr
aightt
otheB&B.
)
Me:
no.Takemet
ohi
m,pl
ease.*
sni
ff
s*

Hetur nedthecarar oundandspedof ftowher e

weleftXav ier.Icouldseef r
om afarhewasnot
good.Anot herguyofhi screwwasexami ning
hi
ml ikeadoct or
.Oncet hecarstopped,Igot
outqui ckl
yr antohim.Ididn'tcar
eaboutt he
guyexami ninghim.Ij usthuggedhim cryi
nghe
huggedmebackev enwhenhewasi npain, I
sti
ll
lov ehishugs, becausehenev ergiv
est hem
alot.

Xav
ier
:It
oldJRt
otakey
ouhome.
Me:
Iwantt
ogohomewi
thy
ou.
Xavi
er:
Lona,
pleasest
opbei
ngst
ubbor
n.I
tis
notsaf
e.
Me:Idon'
tcar
e.You'
rehur
t,Idon'
twantt
o
l
eav
ey ou.
Xavi
er:Kennygotaway,
hecouldbeany
where
nearEastLondonandhewi
llcomeforyou.
Me:
whi
chi
swhyIneedt
obecl
osert
oyou.

Hetouchedmycheekwher eIhadaredi
sh
brui
sefrom t
heslap.Hel
ookedatJR,butI
answeredthequesti
onhewantedt
oask

Me:
theyar
edead.*
sni
ff
s*

Isawpeopledier
ighti
nfr
ontofmyey
es.Wi
l
lI
evergetov
erthat
?

OUTFI
TSTHEYWORE
[
02/
17,
16:
44]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT20
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwasstil
lwor r
iedaboutXav ier.Hiswhi teGucci
hoodiewascov eredinbl ood.Andhehad
brui
sesonhi salloverhisf ace.Hi slefteyewas
abitswoll
en.Andhehadabl ackey eoni t
.He
l
ookedangr yspeedingt hecarof ftoKi ng
Will
i
amsTown.Idi dn'twantt otellhimt oslow
downbecauseIwoul d'v
emadet hesituati
on
worse.Whenwear ri
vedatt heB&B.Webot h
gotofthecarinthesamet ime.Idi dn'teven
wanthimt ousehi sener gyopeni ngt hedoorfor
mebecauseIknewhewasi npai n.Hewas
reall
ybadlybeatenup.Iheldhishandandwe
walkedt ohi
sr oom.Whenheopenedt hedoor,I
gottheshockofmyl i
fe.Therewereredrose
petalsevery
wher eint
her oom.Itwasalsoli
tup
withcandlesthatwerealmostgoingt obe
fi
nished.Thebedhadr osepet al
sthatspel
t"be
mine? "
.Ismiledcover
ingmymout h,andgotin
theroom smi l
ing.

Me:
Xav
ier
,whati
sgoi
ngon?
Xav
ier
:Iwaspl
anni
ngonsur
pri
singy
ou.
Me:wow,
thi
sis.Thi
sisbeaut
if
ul.Thanky
ouso
much.

Ihuggedhim butl
aterregret
tedi
twhenhe
wincedinpai
n.Iavoidedansweri
ngthe
questi
onbecausedoIr eall
ywanttodateXavier
?
Hecomeswi thalotofbaggageandpr oblems.
TodayIwasal mostkidnappedandraped.DoI
wantt
oli
vemyl
i
fei
nfearal
lthet
ime?

Xav
ier
:youhav
en'
tanswer
edt
hequest
ion.
Me:Xavi
er.Wecan'
tdat
e.Mybr
other
swi
l
lget
ver
yangry
.
Xavi
er:
soally
ourli
fey
ouar
egoi
ngt
oli
ve
behi
ndyourbr
other
s?
Me:
theywi
l
lgocr
azyanddosomet
hingst
upi
d.
Xav
ier
:Iam notscar
edofMul
l
erandKi
ng.
Me:
Iam.Icannotdi
sappoi
ntt
hem.Theywant
metof
ini
shschool
.
Xavi
er:
whosai
dyouwon'
tfi
nishschool
when
you'
rewit
hme?
Me: Xavi
er.
..whathappenedtodayshowedme
thatyouli
veav er
ydangerousli
fe.Icannot
survi
vetha-
Xavi
er:l
ook,
Iam ti
redofhidi
ngmyfeel
ingsf
or
you.Iwantyouandclear
lyyouwantme,so
whydowehav
etodr
agi
t?
Me:
doy
ouhav
etober
udeabouti
t?
Xavier:Lelona.IknowIam notper fect,but
havingy oubymysi dei
stheonlyper fectthing
thatwoul dcompl etemyli
fe.IknowIcomewi t
h
alotofdi sadvantagesbutbaby,Ipromi sey ou.
Iwillneverinvolv
ey oui
nmybusi nessest hat
aredanger ous.
Me:
Idon'
twantt
orui
nourf
ri
endshi
p.
Xavier:weareshar
ingt
hesamebed.Cuddli
ng
togetherandweholdhandsi
npubl
ic.Lel
ona,
i
t'sclearwehavesomethi
ngmoret
han
fri
endship.
Me:theyarealr
eadycal
l
ingmey
ourweakness.
Iam notsafe
Xavi
er:youar
e,becausewhatIfeelfory
ouIcan
notevenexpl
aini
t.ButIwi
llmakesur et
okeep
yousafeatal
lti
mesev eni
fIdiedoingthat
.
Nowst opbei
ngscaredandbemi ne?
Ilookeddown, andl ookedi nt
ohi sey es.Idon'
t
knowwhathappenedbutIt houghtal ltheti
mes
wehav eev erseeneachot her.From t he
kitchenatmybr other'
shousepar tyt otoday.I
trustXav ierwi t
hmyl i
fe,andIwoul dbel yi
ngifI
saidt hesef eeli
ngswi llgoaway .Hel i
vesin
CapeTownf orcryingsake!Wewi l
l seeeach
otherof t
en.Andhei sint hesamegangwi t
hmy
brother s,wel lheisaboutt ocont rol my
brother s.Hel ookeddi sappointedt hatIwasn't
respondi ngt ohim.Ismi l
edandnodded, thenhe
chuckl edandt ri
edt ohugme, butitwashar d
forhim becausehewasst i
lli
npai n.

Xavier:Ipr
omiseyou,thi
sshitt
hathappened
today.Itwil
lneverhappenagai
n.Iwil
lprot
ect
youf r
om anythi
ng.
Me: don'
tworr
yaboutt
hatnow.Wor
ryabout
yourhealt
h.
Xav
ier
:Your
eal
l
ymeanal
ott
omeLona.
Me:
*smi
l
es*y
oumeanal
ott
omet
oo

Imadehi m sitinthebedev enwhent heroses

werethere.If i
xedt hepill
owsagai nstt
he
dashboardandhel pedhimi nsidet
hebed.
ThankGodt herosesdi dn'
tmakehi m
uncomf ort
able.Thel i
tt
ledinnerthatwas
organisedont hefloorreall
ymademesmi l
e.
Thisissocut e,andt hecandl esmakeitmor e
adorable.

Me:
youneedt
osi
tdownandr
est
.
Xav
ier
:gi
vemeaf
ewday
sandIwi
l
lbeokay
.
Me:
youshoul
d'
vewentt
othehospi
tal
.
Xavi
er:t
hesamehospital
thatgav
emeshi
tfor
wanti
ngqui
ckerser
vices.
Me:
Iwi
l
lgety
oupai
nki
l
ler
sandy
oucanr
est
.
Xav
ier
:wai
tfi
rstt
akeoffmyhoodi
e.Ican'
t
movemybodyproper
ly.

Ifrownedandhel phim outofhisclot hes.He

wasnowshi rt
lessandIsawal otofbr ui
ses.I
tr
iedt ouchinghisoneofhi sbruiseswhi chwas
onhi sleftside.Hetouchedmyhand,and
ki
ssedt hebackofmyf i
ngersbecausewhenhe
pi
ckedmyhandi tf
ormedi nt
oaf i
st.Hedi dthi
s
i
nt hemostcut estway,myhear tstar t
ed
beatingf astandbutter
fli
eswer egoi ngcrazy.

Xavi
er:
Ipr
omi
seIwil
lbeokay
.Idon'
twanty
ou
toworr
ysomuch.
Me:
maybeyoudoneedtoreturnt
oCapeTown,
t
her
eyouweren'
tget
ti
nghurtli
ket
his.
Xavi
er:
Iam notl
eav
ingy
oubehi
nd.Noti
na
mil
l
ionyear
s.
Me:
youcoul
ddi
eher
e!
Xav
ier
:eksal
niegaanni
e.(
Iwi
l
lnotgo)
Me:
whatwi
l
lyoudot
hen?
Xav
ier
:Iam t
aki
ngy
ouwi
thmet
oCapeTown.
Me:what ?Mybr ot
herswi
llgetv
eryangry
.Ican
nottel
lthem aboutusyet
,wehav ebeendat
ing
forl
i
ke30mi nut
es?Itist
oosoon.
Xavier:
*chuckl
es*cal
m down.Youwi
l
lhav
eto
tel
lthem yougott
ir
edofyourmom.
Me:
won'
tKennyki
l
lthem?
Xavier
:herespect
sthem.Trustme,your
brot
hersarenotweakatall
.Theycanhandl
e
themselv
es.ItisyouIam worr
iedabout
.
Me:
okay
,whendowel
eav
e?

Icouldseeshewasn'
tthatmuchhappywi
thus
l
eaving.

Xav
ier
:fi
nal
l
y,y
oul
i
stent
omewi
thoutbei
ng
st
ubbor
n.
Me:becauseIdonotwantKennyt
osneakan
at
tackony ouagai
n.

Igavehim pai
nkil
l
ersandsomewater
.But
l
ookingathisbrui
sesIwasworr
iedhemight
havebrokenaribwhenhewasbeingatt
acked
byplent
yofmen.

Me:
whowast
heguyexami
ningy
ou?
Xav
ier
:K9.
Me:
isheadoct
or?
Xav
ier
:youcoul
dsayt
hat
.
Me:
it'
sei
thery
esorno.Not"
youcoul
dsayt
hat
.
Xavi
er:
hestudi
edmedici
nebutheishav
inga
di
ff
icul
tti
mewithf
inanci
ali
ssues.
Me:whi
chroom i
shestay
ingi
n?Ineedt
ocall
hi
mtocheckyououtagai
n.Whati
fyoubr
okea
r
ib?
Xavi
er:Lona,
pleasesi
tdownIwi
l
lbeokay
.Ar
e
younotheari
ngme?
Me:
justt
obesur
e,pl
ease.
Xav
ier
:checkt
hesecondr
oom ont
her
ight
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lber
ightback,
stayput
.

Hegotout,
struggl
i
ngsohar
d.Ir
ushedt
ohi
m
t
ohelphim getup.

Me:
whyar
eyouget
ti
ngup?
Xav
ier
:Iam goi
ngwi
thy
ou.
Me:no!Youarehur
t.Stopbei
ngmanl
yabouti
t,
pl
ease.Iwi
ll
bebackr i
ghtnow.

Isathim downagai
n,andquickl
ycheckedt
he
room hetoldmetocheck.Iknockedandhe
answeredquickl
y,hewasonhisphonet
alki
ng
tohisgir
lf
ri
endbecauseIhear
dtheword
"baby.
"

me:
Xav
ierneedshel
p.

Henoddedandqui cklygotint heroom andt ook

thi
slitt
lebagthatlookedl i
keadoct or'
sbag.
Thenhewentoutt heroom t henhef ol
lowedme
andwebot hwenttother oom meandXav i
er
share.Hewasst il
ltal
kingonhi sphonewi l
lhis
gir
lf
riend.Hekeptassur inghehewasf i
neand
hewi l
lbebacknex tweek.Thati ssocut e,I
wonderi fIwi
llbeli
ket hatwhenXav i
erleaves
forhistri
ps?

Xavi
er:
K9assur
emywor
ri
edgi
rl
fr
iendt
hatIam
fi
ne.
Ismil
edathim cal
li
ngmehisgir
lf
ri
end.Icoul
d
getusedtothi
s.Hisvoi
cewhenhesaysbaby
andgirl
fr
iendr
eall
ysendmeovertheedge.

K9:*
chuckl
es*she'
sdoi
ngwhatanywor
ri
ed
gi
rl
fr
iendwoul
ddo.

Heopenedthebag,Iswi tchedonthel
ight
aand
exami
nedhim again.Hecheckedtoseeifhe
hadanybrokenri
bsbyt ouchinghi
sbody.I
tur
nedoffal
lthecandles.

K9:l
uckymotherf
ucker
.Nobr okenr
ibs.Just
bodybrui
sesandfacebrui
ses.
Xav
ier
:pai
nful
brui
ses.

Hewasaboutt
ogi
vehi
m somepai
nki
l
ler
s.
Me:
Ial
readygav
ehi
m somepai
nki
l
ler
s.
K9:
thenIam doneher
e.
Me:
Iam t
aki
nghi
mtoadoct
ort
omor
row.
K9:
*chuckl
es*t
ryt
oconv
incehi
m.
Me:ohsorr
y,Iam notsayingyouareabad
doct
ororanyt
hing.I-.
..Iam sor
ry.*
sighs*

Hejustl
ookedatmewi thnosmi
lesoranyt
hing
Iwasscared.Idi
dn'
tmeantooff
endhim,but
Xavi
erneedspropercar
e.

K9:
kumoj
a(i
t'
sokay
)
Xav
ier
:st
opst
ressi
ngmygi
rl
.
K9:
Isai
dit
'sf
ine.*
chuckl
es*

Hesmil
edatmeandpi ckeduphi
sbagandI
wal
kedhim out
.Il
ookedatXavi
erwhowas
becomi
ngsl
eepy
.

Me:wear
egoi
ngt
oadoct
or.Youneedt
osee
one.
Xav
ier
:K9i
sone.
Me:
don'tmakemef
eel
badbecauseIal
ready
f
eelbad.
Xav
ier
:hedi
dn'
ttakei
ttot
hehear
t.
me:
buty
oust
il
lneedt
ogot
oadoct
or.
Xav
ier
:comet
othebedLona,
iti
slat
e.

Ifi
xedhispil
l
owsandmadehi m sl
eepproper
ly.
Ichangedint
omyshor t
sandbaggytop
pyj
amas.Luckil
yhedidn'
tseeme.ThenIgot
i
nsidethebed,Il
ookedatther
emaini
ngroses
j
ustsmi l
i
ngatthem.

Me:
whataboutt
hel
i
ttl
edi
nnersetont
hef
loor
?
Xav
ier
:don'
twor
ryaboutt
hat
.
Me:
okay
.

Hepul l
edmecl osertohi m andIl aidonhis
shir
tl
esschest .IswearIcoul dhearhi s
heartbeat.Iblushedbecausei nawei r
dway
thi
swassor omant i
c.Iheardhisl ightsnores
andIknewhewassl eeping.Iwr appedmyey es
aroundhi swaistbutnoti napai nful way.Aft
er
alongt i
me,ofmej uststari
ngathi statt
oosand
brui
ses, Iev
ent ual
lyfellasl
eep.Iwokeupt o
thi
ngsshuf fl
ing,Igroanedwaki ngup.Xav ier
wasupandl ookingf orsomet hing.

Xav
ier
:damn,
Iwokey
ouup?
Me:
yes.I
t'
sokay
.Whatar
eyoul
ooki
ngf
or?
Xav
ier
:pai
nki
l
ler
s.Mybodyhur
tsl
i
kekak(
shi
t)
Me:theyar
eonmysi
dedr
awer
.Don'
ttakeal
ot
okay
?
Xav
ier
:okay
.

Itr
iedgoingbacktosleepbutitwasusel
ess
becausemysl eepdidnotevencomeback, soI
wokeupt ogobr ushmyteeth.Aft
erIwasdone,
Iwashedmyf ace.WhenIr et
urnedtohi
m, he
wassi t
ti
ngont heedgeofthebed.Helookedat
me, andmoti
onedf ormetocomet ohim.

Xav
ier
:comeher
e.

Iwal
kedtohi
m conf
used.Hesatmeonhi
slap.
Thi
sdudeishur
tandhewantsmeonhi
slap.

Me:Xav
iery
ouar
ehur
t.Ishoul
dn'
tbesi
tt
ingon
yo-

Hecutmeof
fwi
thaki
ss.Li
keaf
ull
blownki
ss.
Iwasshockedhel ickedmyl i
psf orent rance
andIgavei nandt heki sswasamazi ng!Ev en
theli
tt
lebrusheshedi donmywai stsentmet o
heaven!Guy sInev erhadaki ssliket his.Itwas
sopassionateandsexyatt hesamet ime.Hi s
handtravel
ledinsi demyt opandst i
ll
br ushed
mywai st
.Hi shandswer emaki ngmef eel away
IknowIhav en'tfeltinal lmyy earsofl i
v i
ng.I
brokethekissof fbecauseIdi dn'twantt omov e
toofastwithhim.Hepeckedmyl i
ps, and
suckedmybot tom l i
pt henhepul l
edi t.He
peckedmyl ipsr epeat edly
.Ist art
edgi ggling.
Andhechuckl edl ooki ngatmyey es
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Ihav
eal
way
swant
edt
oki
ssher
,andi
twast
he
bestforherbei ngpure.Ichuckledatherbei ng
hornybecauseherey esbecamesosmal l
.Ilet
herbreakt hekissofff orbecauseIknowshe
doesn'twantt omov et oofast.She'sst
il
lan
unexperienced18y earol d.Herbeingbull
iedin
herhighschool l
i
fe,IknowIwi l
lhaveahar d
ti
mewi t
hher .ButIthinkshei sworththe
chall
enge.

Me:
youshoul
dst
artpacki
ng.
Lona:
why
?
Me:
wear
egoi
ngbackt
oCapeTownr
emember
.
Lona:Xavi
erIcannotjustleave.Mul
lerwil
lfl
i
p
becauseIhaven'
teventoldthem Iam st
aying
wit
hy ou.
Me:Lonawetal
kedaboutthi
s,youwill
tel
lthem
t
hatyoudonotwanttostaywit
hy ourmom and
youhat
ethi
splace.
Lona:
what
?
Me:
iti
sthet
rut
h.
Xavi
er:
yesbutwhati
fmom t
ell
sthem t
hatI
wentwit
hyou?
Me:
trustme,
shewon'
t.
Lona:whatifKennyhur
tsmom andt
heot
her
s?
Icannotjustl
eave.
Me:Lel
onaIam notl
eav
ingy
ouher
e.I
t'
snot
saf
e.
Lona:*
sighs*arey
ounothear
ingme?Hecoul
d
hurtmyfamily
.
Me:
Idonotcar
eaboutthat
,yourl
i
fei
s
i
mport
antt
omemor ethanthem.
Lona:
wel
lIcar
eaboutt
hem.
Me:
why
?Theyt
reaty
oul
i
keshi
t.
Lona:t
hatdoesn'
tmeanIshoul
dtr
eatt
hem l
i
ke
shi
t.
Me:
Lel
ona,
li
stent
omef
oronce!*
shout
s*
Shegotquietandlookedatmewithfeari
nher
eyes.Iregr
ett
edshouti
ngatherbecauseIdo
notwantherfear
ingme.Shestoodupf r
om my
l
ap, andIsi
ghed.

Me: Icannotjustl
eaveyouindanger.Youare
comi ngwit
hme.Iam sur eKennywilldo
nothingtoyourfamil
yherespect
sy ourbrot
her
s.
heismessingwi thyoubecauseheknowshowI
feelaboutyou.

Ist
oodupeveninpain,
andsl
owlyki
ssedher
.
Shesmil
edintheki
ssandIknewshewas
goi
ngtosayyes.

Me:
Ionl
ywantt
opr
otecty
ou.
Lona:
fine.Letmepack.
Shechuckl
ed.Ismil
edathergi
vingi
ntomy
char
ms.Iwentovert
omybag, andshest
opped
me.

Lona:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
try
ingt
opack.
Lona:Iwi
ll
,donotdot
hat
.Youar
einj
ured.Si
t
onthebed.
Me:
youar
eexagger
ati
ngmyi
njur
ies.
Lona:
justsi
tont
hebedandhush.

Ismiledandsl
owlysatdownwhileIwasinpain.
Shepackedmyt hi
ngsthenpackedher
s.Itwas
taki
ngal ongt
ime,andIwasgetti
ngsl
eepy.The
medicinewasworking.

Lona:
Iwi
l
lbookal
atef
li
ght
.Youneedt
osl
eep.
Me:
no.Weneedt
ogonow.Thequi
ckerwear
e
outofher
ethesaf
ery
ouwi
l
lbe.
Lona:
andy
ou.Yoursaf
etyi
simpor
tantt
oo.
me:
yeah.

Shet
ookherphoneandst
art
edbooki
ngf
li
ght
s.

Me:
Iwi
l
lpay
.
Lona:
youwi
l
lrest
.Nowdot
hat
.
Me:
lel
ona.
Lona:
mhm.
..
Me:usemyphonet obookfli
ghtsandputi
nmy
bankaccountdet
ail
s.Iwi
l
ltell
youwhatthey
are.
Lona:
Ihav
ealr
eadybookedy
our
sandIhav
e
pai
dnowIwil
lbookmine.

Igl
aresatherangr
ythatshewoul
dpaybutI
toldherIwouldpay .Ihav ethemostst ubborn
girl
fr
iendever
.Shenev erlist
enst omeatal l
,
that'
swhatIli
keaboutherbecauseshe
chall
engesme.ButIal sohat eitwhenitputs
herlif
eindanger.Likey esterdayItoldhernotto
getoutofthecar ,butshedi d.Thatalmosthad
herkidnappedandr apedbutassoonasIf ind
wher eKennyis.Iam kill
inghi m,Idonotcare
aboutanywar .Het ouchedLonat wicesohe
diggedhisowngr av e.AndIwi llhel
phim get
i
nt oit
.

Me:
that
'snothowi
tissupposedt
ogo.
Lona:
look,Il
ikepay
ingforstuf
fandyoual
way
s
buymest uf
fsoIwillbuyst
ufffory
ounow.
Me:
thati
snev
ergoi
ngt
ohappen.
Lona:
stopf
ussi
ngov
erpet
tyt
hingsandsl
eep.

Ichuckl
edatherbei
ngbossy
.Af
teraf
ew
mi
nut
esshewasst
il
lpacki
ngandIsl
ept
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwat chedhi m sl eepagai n.ThankGodbecause
het alksandIcan' tconcent rat
eont hepacki ngI
am doi ng.AfterIwasf inall
ydonewi thmy
packi ng.If oundmydi ary,wel l
itdidn'
tf eelli
ke
adi ar yanymor ebecausemymom hasr ead
ever ything.Iwant edt obur nitandf orgetabout
thet hingsIwr oteint here.Itsurpri
sesmehow
shewoul dreadal lthehur tIwr oteinther ebut
shewoul dnotr eplytot hatbyhuggi ngmeand
tell
i
ngmeev erythingwi llbeokay ,sheonl y
repliedt othe" Xav i
er'ssmi le"confession, and
sher eactedwi thawhoopi ngofmyl if
e.Whata
disast ermyl ifeact uall
yis.AndIcannotbel i
eve
Iam say ingt hisbutXav i
erandmybr ot hersare
theonl yonest hatmakesmyl i
febetter.
Gangst ersmakemyl ifebet t
er!Heeei f
someonet oldmeIwoul dbedat i
ngagangst er
atonly18Iwoul dscream say i
ngthey'relyi
ng.I
alway stoldmy selfIwillneverdateagangst er
becauset heycomewi thtroubl
e.Mybr others
dohei stssot heyhav eal essdangerousl i
fe
theironlyobst acleisbei ngcaughtandgoi ngto
j
ail.Gangst ersl ikeXav ierhaveenemi eswho
wanty out of eel pain.Theynev erf
indt r
uel ove
becauseev ery onear oundt hem iskil
led.DoI
reall
ywantt hatf ormy selfat18?ImeanIwas
almostki dnappedy esterday!Hewasbr utally
attackedi fitwer en'
tforJRandShoot er.I
woul dprobabl yhav edi edbecauseofKenny .
~~
Wef i
nall
yarr
ivelat
eatnighti
ntheairport.The
rent
alcarsweretaken,andwewer ewai ti
ngfor
ourfl
ight
.Ikeptplayi
ngwithXavier
'srough
handsashet al
kedtohiscrew.Iknewt heir
namesnow, i
twasJR,Shooter
,K9andWiz.My
phonerangandXavi
erlookedatme.Il
ookedat
thecal
l
edID.Itwasmyaunt .

Me:
Ihav
etot
aket
his.

Iwal
kedabi
tfur
therawayf
rom t
hem.

Me:
dabawo.(
Aunt
ie)
Dabs:
uphi
?(Wher
ear
eyou?)
Me:ndi
buyel
aeKapa(
Iam r
etur
ningbackt
o
CapeTown)
Dabs:
he!
?Ngexay
endoda?(
What
!?Becauseof
aman?)
Me:
dabaw-
Dabs:buy
elakul
endl
uwenandingekaxelel
i
uKhazi
mlanoYangangal
amany al
auwenzay o.
(Comebacktothi
shousebef
oreItellKhazi
mla
andYangaaboutt
hedi
sgr
acey
ouar
edoi
ng)
[
02/
17,
16:
44]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT21
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Myhear tst
aredbeati
ngfast
,shesoundedso
angryandIknewshewoul ddoit.ButifIstay
here,Xavi
erisnotgoi
ngtobehappy .Hellhe
won'tevenagreeformetostay.Kennycouldbe
roamingaroundKingWil
li
amsTownr i
ghtnow,
andIam surehei sl
ooki
ngforme.
Me:
dabawoandi
zokwazi
.(aunt
ieIcannot
)
Dabs: uhlal
isananomf anakungaphumanga
neCentf orwena.I nobasowut y
iwenotyiwa.
KodwaLel onaawuzi thandi.Inobawaziyela
nakulamant ombazanaphaeskol wenisakho
njembawaxokakut hiwat hibafunaukudlengula.
(You'r
est ayingwit
haboyt hatdidn'
tevenpaya
centfory ou.Maybeheev enhadsexwi t
hy ou.
Lelona,youdonotl ovey ourself
.May beyou
evenwentt othegirlsaty ourschoolbyy oursel
f
thenliedtousandsai dt heywant edtorapey ou)
Me: *
sil
entl
ycryi
ng*dabawo.Ndicel
a
ungandenziLent
o.Uyayazi
ibuhl
ungu
kangakananil
amekokum.( Aunti
e.Pleasedo
notdothistome.Youknowhowpai nf ult
hat
subj
ectistome.)
Auntie:
int
oendiyi
thethayondit
hi buyaqha.
Utatawakhoune'worryapha.Hambauzonat ya
kulamadodaforuhlalakwiB&B.(AllIam say
ing
i
scomeback.Yourf atheri
sworriedhere.You
goaroundopeni
ngy
ourl
egsf
orment
ost
ayi
n
B&Bs)

Iwassoof f
endedIev enhadhi ccupswhi le
crying.Idonotev enknowwhyIanswer edher
call.Sheismymot her'
sbestf riendandmy
dad' ssist
erwhatdi dIexpect !
?Theyal l hateme
l
ikeIdi dsomet hingt ot hem.Iwoul dsayIam a
bast ardchil
dandIr emi ndthem ofmyf at
her's
mi stress,butIlooksomuchl ikemymot herit
i
sl ikeIam hery oungerv er
sion.Especi all
yin
pictures.IknowIam herdaught ershecannot
denyme, thenwhyi sshet reati
ngmel i
ket his?I
felthandsonmyshoul der,whenIt urned
around.Xav i
erlookedatme, hewasconf used
ast owhyIwascr yi
ng.

Xav
ier
:what
'swr
ong?
Dabs:uxel
elel
otsot
siwakhoangaboy
iki
sa
bonkenotmna.Makay ekwint
angazakhe.
Inobazimxakil
eyil
ontoesi zakwabant uabal ula
njengawe.Uyayazibaangat hi umhleand
akubizebabywenasowut hat hekaumthande.
Umuncu, ntombiyam ( Tel
l thatthugofy ours
theymayal lf
earhim butIdonot .Heshoul dgo
tothepeopleinhisagegr oup.May betheyar e
toomuchf orhim andthati swhyhewentf or
easypeopleli
keyou.Heknowshecancal lyou
beautif
ulandbaby,andal r
eadyy ouareinlov e.
You'redumb,myni ece.)
Xav
ier
:gi
vemet
hatphone.*
angr
y*

Ij
ustgav eittohim.Hewassoangr yandhe
doesn'tev enknowwhyam Icr y
ing.Heputt he
phonei nhi sear,andIlookeddown.Myhead
wassodown, tearsfellonthefloor.That'
show
hardIwascr ying.Theydonotr ealisethem
tr
yingtomakemest rongonlybr eaksmemor e
andmor e.Iam notbei ngbull
iedbymyschool
mat esorKay laany mor e.NowIam bei ng
bul
l
iedbymyownauntandmot
her
.

Xavier
:doIneedt ocomeov erther
esowecan
havethatt al
kagain?..
.ohyou'
reheraunt
?
*chucklesangr i
l
y*Iknowhermom t oldyouwe
hadat alk.Giveherthephone.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-

Iwantedtocur sethemothersobad,butIwas
shockedthatitwast heaunt.Whatt
hefucki
s
upwiththi
sf amilyandhurti
ngLona?

Me:
onet
hingIdonotdoi
srepeatmy
sel
f.
Her:mxm i
nobaucingaunguChuckNorr
iswena.
Bani
nziabant
uendibazi
yonam abanokususa
kul
omhlabangemininj
e!(Youthi
nkyou'
re
ChuckNorri
s.Ther
earealotofpeopl
eIknow
thatcaner
aseyoufrom t
hiswor
ldinj
ustafew
days!)

Shewasn'tsayi
ngall
oft hatwhenIwasthere.
Sheranoutwhenshesawt hegun.Shewas
makingmeangr i
erbythemoment .Idropped
thecal
landgaveLonat hephone.Iam i
nso
muchpain,deal
ingwit
ht hisri
ghtnowwillonl
y
makemer eactbadl
ytowar dsever
ythi
ng.

Me:
cal
lyourmot
her
.
Lona:
what
?
Me:
justdoi
t,Lel
ona.Noquest
ionsasked!

Shedialedonherphone.Shewasshaking,
whateverherauntsaidr
eal
lymadeherupset.
Aft
erdiall
ingshegavemet hephone.Hermom
answeredafteralongti
me.
Lona'
smom:
yint
oni
Lel
ona?(
Whati
sit
,Lel
ona?
)
Me:fixyourbit
chasssi
steri
nlaworIwi
l
lfi
x
herforyou.YouknowIdonotmakeempty
promises.
Lona'
smom: a-a..
.kodwaandikwaziuphat
ha
i
zint
oazenzayo.Ungumf azi
omdala.Akasoze
andi
mamele(i-i
..
.butIcannotcontr
olwhatshe
does.Shei
sagr ownwoman.Shewi l
lnotl
i
sten
tome.)
Me: heyhey !Idonotgiveonesi
ngl
efuck.
Makeapl an.Whatevershehasi
nherchicken
head, Iwil
lremoveinthemostunpl
easantway .
Moeni espeel metmynieekisnie'
nspelnie.
(Don'tplaywithmeIam notagame)
Lona'
smom:
he?(
What
?)

Idroppedthecallonherdumbass.Isweari
f
thosebit
chesjeopardi
zemyrelat
ionshi
pwit
h
Lona, theywi l
lpay.Ithasbeenal ongtimesince
Ikill
edsomeonepr obabl ylike1or2weeks.And
myegoi scr avi
ngf orsomeone' smiserabl
e
criesforhelp.Lonawasst i
lll
ookingdown, I
pickedherheadup, andhuggedher .Thatonly
madehercr ywor se.I tconf usedme, hugsare
supposedt ohelpbuti tlookslikemine
tr
iggeredhermor e.Iev enthoughtmybl ack
plaint-shi
rtwasgoi ngt obesoakedi nhertears
butev entuallyshest opped.

Lona:
Iam sosor
ry.
Me:iti
sokay
.YouknowIwi
l
lal
way
sbeher
efor
you.
Lona:maybeIshoul
dreal
lygoback.She-she
wil
lte-
tel
lmybro-br
other
s..
.

Shewashavi
ngthesehiccupsshewas
st
ruggl
i
ngtospeak.Ihatedseei
ngherl
i
ket
his.
Herfacewassor ed,
Iwant
edt
of or
getabout
myinjur
ies,gobacktoKi
ngWi
ll
iamsTownand
ki
ll
thatbitchf
ormakingmywi
fefeell
i
kethis.

Me:youar
enotgoi
ngbackt
her
e.Yourmom
wi
ll
sorti
tout
.
Lona:
butsheal
soha-hat
esme.

Shecriedhuggingmeagai n.Il
ookedatt he
gentswhower elookingatmeinsmi rks.They
weresurpri
sedIact ual
lyhavef
eeli
ngsf ora
cry
baby .Tr
ustme, Iam al
sosurpr
isedIam not
annoyedyet.Ibrushedherback,andwhi sper
ed
i
nherear

Me:babydon'
tletthem gety
oudownl
i
ket
his.I
pr
omiseevery
thingwil
lbeokay.
Lona:
Iknowher
,shewi
l
ltel
lthem.
Me:
fine,
Iwi
l
ltel
lthem my
sel
fifIhav
etoo!
Lona:
no!That
'saev
enbi
ggerdi
sast
er.
Me: Iam tr
yingever
ythi
ngt omakeyoust
op
cr
yingmyl ief(l
ove)butitseemsli
kei
t'
snot
working.TellmewhatIshoul ddo,
andIwil
ldo
i
t.Pl easej
uststopcryi
ng.

Iwi
pedhert ear
sawayfr
ust
ratedt
hatsheissti
ll
cr
ying.Shesnif
fedandr
emainedwi
thhiccups.

Lona:
Iam donenow.Ij
ustnee-needanap.

Likeclockwi seourdestinati
onwascalledandI
heldherhandandwal kedtotheboarding
planes.Af tereveryt
hing,wewer efi
nallyint
he
planes.Shel ookedoutthewi ndowallsadandI
didnotlikei tonebit.Shewassosad, Icoul
d
feeli
tev eni nmy sel
f.Iwishshecouldseehow
wonder f
ul shei sinmyey es,maybethenshe
wil
lstopli
steningtootherpeopl
e'
sopi
nionsof
her
.Iheldherhandandki ssedit
,shesmiled
pai
nfull
yandl aidherheadonmyshoulder.

Me:
Idon'
tl
ikeseei
ngy
oul
i
ket
his.
Lona:
Iam sor
ry.
Me:sheshouldbesor
ry,
noty
ou.Whatdi
dshe
sayany
way ?
Lona:
Idonotwantt
otal
kabouti
tpl
ease.
Me:i
tisokay
.Youshoul
dtakey
ournap.You
mi
ghtwakeuprefr
eshed.

Shenodded,aft
ershepeckedmyl i
psshetried
tosl
eep.Wizlookedatmeandmout hedifshe
i
sokay.Inodded.ButIwantherauntdead,Ido
notcar
ehow.ButIdowanti ttohappen.
~~
Wear
ri
vedi
nCapeTownandIt
oldLonashe
willstaywit
hmeunt i
lherbrothersknowshei
s
i
nCapeTown.Whenwewenti nsidemyhouse,
shewasl ookingatever
ythi
ngi nawe.My
i
nter i
ordesi
gnwasmost lyblackandwhit
e.
Blackwasmyf avour
it
ecolor.

Lona:
wow,
youl
i
vei
nthi
sbi
ghouseal
one?
Me:
noonet
oshar
eitwi
th.
Lona:
yeahr
ight
.
Me:
*chuckl
es*whyar
eyousosur
eIhav
ehoes?
Lona:
it'
sthewomani
nst
incti
nme.

Ichuckledandj ustwalkedt omybedroom.The

housewascl eanbecausemymai dcleansit
every4day saweek.Myr oom hadahuge
closetandIwi shthatnoneofmyhoesl eft
anythingthatwillmakeLonaangr y.Iwil
lhave
todropall t
hehoesIhad, damn.ButIguessmy
babyiswor ththesacrifi
ce.
Lona:
Xav
ier
...
?

Il
ookedatherf
rom t
hedooroft
hecl
oset
.She
washoldi
ngag-st
ri
ng.

Lona:
so,
let
'st
alkaboutt
hehoes.
Me:
*si
ghs*t
heyar
eal
lgoi
ngt
obegone.
Lona:Iam notmadbecausei twasbef orewe
dated,sonowwear edating.Iwouldloveali
tt
le
bitofrespect
.Di
rt
ylinger
ieisnotwhatIl i
ke
seeinginmyhubby'sdrawer* chuckl
es*
Me:
youwon'
tseei
tagai
nbabe.
Lona:
Iam seri
ous,onewr
onghoemov
eand
wearedone,Xavi
er.

Shewasn'tsmil
ingatal
lany
mor e.Inodded
becauseIreal
l
yangoingtodropmyhoesf or
her,
butalsoneedst oknowIam aman, Ihave
needs.ButIwon'ttellherthatrightnow
becauseshewill
feel pressuredt ohav esex
wit
hme, andIdon'twantt opressur eher
becauseImightendupl osingher .Idon'
teven
knowwhoputt hatdirtylinger
iether e.

Me:baby
,tr
ustme.Theyar
egone,
youar
ethe
onl
yonenow.
Lona:
mhm.

Iwalkedcl
osertoherandki
ssedhercheek.I
tooktheg-st
ri
ngfr
om herandthr
ewinthebin
thatwasinthebat
hroom.WhenIwentbackto
theroom,shewassi t
ti
ngonthebedand
l
ookingint
oherhands.

Me:
fede?(
Shar
p?)
Lona:
ndi
moj
ant
wana.(
Iam okay
,dude.
)
Ilookedatherconf usedasfuck.Ili
kehow
diff
erentshei sfr
om thegir
lsthatareal
ways
readyt ojumponmydi ck.Shelaughedatmy
facialexpressi
on.

Me:It
hinkIl
ikeyoubei
ngal
lpr
incessl
i
keand
bei
ngacrybaby.
Lona:
ofcour
sey
oudo*
rol
l
sey
esl
aughi
ng*
Me:
any t
hingy
ouwantt
odobef
orewehadof
f
t
osleep?
Lona:
yousl
eepal
ot.
Me:medici
nemakesmesl
eep.Youar
en'
t
hungr
y?
Lona:
no.Iwi
l
ljustwat
chTV.

Idrankthepai
nkil
l
er sandwentdownstai
rst
o
ordersomepizzafrom thet
elev
isi
onIhadin
thelounge,Iaskedthem f orsomev eganpizza
shit
,standardsizef
orhert henIbroughtmy sel
f
l
argebuti didn'
tbuythatv eganshi t.Ibrought
thetri
pledeckerwithext r
acheese.Iwentback
upstai
rs.Shewaswat chingBadGi r
lsClubon
VuzuAmp, shewassoi ntri
guedbyt heshow, I
couldseeitinherfacialex pressi
ons.

Me:
gotpi
zzasf
orus.
Lona:
pizza?Ican'
teatpi
zza.
Me:donotworry,
Iaskedt
heworkeri
fther
e
wereveganpi
zzasandhesai
dyes.Soyoucan
eatpi
zzas.
Lona:
*laughs*whati
fIdonotwantpi
zza?
Me: t
henIwil
lfor
ceful
l
yshov
ethepi
zzadown
yourthr
oat
.*chuckl
es*
Lona:somuchanger
.*l
aughs*y
oushoul
dbe
onthebadgir
lscl
ub.
Me:
hel
lno.
Shechuckled,Iwentt ochangeintosome
basketball
shortssoIcansl eep.Iwasshirt
less
andIwenti nsi
det hebed.Shelookedatme,
morel i
kestareatme.Igr i
nnedatheral ways
i
nterestedinmyt att
oos.Imov edclosertoher

Me:
yourshowi
sbackon.*
smi
rks*
Lona:
mxm.

Shelai
donherstomachandshewasnextt
o
me.Shetouchedmyneck,morel
i
kebrushi
t
sof
tl
ylooki
ngatmyrosetatt
ooonmyneck.

Lona:
didn'
tthi
shur
t?
Me:
ali
tt
lebi
t.
Lona:
li
ar!I
tdi
dal
ot.*
smi
l
es*
Me:
Iwashi
ghandv
erydr
unkt
hatday
.Soi
t
di
dn'
thur
tthatmuch.
Lona:
whyar
oseony
ourAdam'
sappl
e?
Me:
*shr
ugs*j
ustt
ofi
l
lupt
hespace.
Lona:you'
recr
azy
.Doy ouknowhowpainful
tat
toosare?Andyoudidt
hisonej
ustt
of i
l
l up
thespace?Wow* l
aughs*
Me:
Itol
dyoui
twasn'
tthatpai
nful
.

Ihear dthehousephoner ingi ndicating

someonewant edt obeletint hey ard.I
tmust
bethepi zza,Iwentdownst airswi thmywal let.I
l
etthescoot erdr i
veri
nthey ar dwi t
ht hepizzas.
WhenIopenedt hedoor,thedudewassmi li
ng
atme.Ij usttookoutthemoney ,gaveittohim
andt ookthepizzas.Henot i
cedIwasn' tt
he
smilingtype,andjustlef
t.Iclosedmydoor ,and
walkedupst air
swi tht
hepi zzas.Mywi fewas
sti
l
l caughtupont het
elev i
sionshow.Igav eher,
herpi zzaandplacedmi neont hebed.Iwas
abouttowal
kbackdownstai
rsbutIwast
ir
ed
asfuckfr
om t
heinj
uri
es.

Lona:
sitdown.Iwi
l
lgett
hedr
inksmy
sel
f.
Me:
Iam f
in-
Lona:Xav
ier
,donotmakemedragyoutot
his
bed.Nowsitdown,
Iwi
ll
beri
ghtback.

Shequi ckl
ywentdownst ai
r sandIsatdownin
pain.Iwasev ensweati
ng, Iwipedmysweat
anddr anksomepai nki
l
lersagain.Aft
erthat
,I
ateaf ewslices,
thenshefinall
ycameback.

Lona:
sor
ry,
Icoul
dn'
tfi
ndcups*
laughs*

Shegavemeacupf ullofcoke,
Iplaceditonmy
si
deboard.Ifel
therlookingatme,andIknew
whybutIjustwantedtomesswi thher.She
cl
earedherthroatbecauseIdi
dn'
tl
ookather
.I
fi
nal
lylookedatherli
ckingmyli
ps,wi
tha
char
mingsmi l
e.

Lona:
youar
efor
get
ti
ngsomet
hing.
Me:
aki
ss?*
smi
rks*

Imademyf acei
ntoaki
ssi
ngface,
shelaughed
sohardIt
houghtshewasgoi
ngtofal
lonthe
fl
oor
.

Lona:
youl
ooksocut
e.
Me:
Inev
erbeenugl
y.*
chuckl
es*
Lona:
sococky*shakesheadsmil
i
ng*Iwas
goi
ngtosayyouareforgett
osaythanky
ou.
Me:
thanky
ou,
baby
.
Ismi l
ed,andshel eanedclosertomeaqui ck
kiss.Icouldsti
ll
getusedt oherli
psbeingso
soft.Shesmiled,andst art
edeati
ngherf ood.I
admi r
edherwhensheat eherfood.Shehad
thiscutefaci
alexpr essiononher.

Lona:pl
easest
opst
ari
ngIam t
ryi
ngt
oeat
.
*bl
ushes*
Me:
can'
tIadmi
rewhati
smi
ne?
Lona:
stop.*
blushes*
Me:
comeher
e.*
li
cksl
i
ps*

Shebl ushedandIdeci dedtoleani nandkissed

herslowly .Shesmiledintothekiss,shebroke
thekissof fbypulli
ngmybot t
om lip.That
surpr
isedt hefuckoutofme, Iheldhernecknot
wantingt hekisstoend.Shegi ggledand
conti
nuedwi ththekiss.Damn, whatisthi
sgirl
doingt ome?
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
aft
ertheki
ss,hestaredatme.Likestar
eatme
fr
om myhairtomyl ipsagain.Ibl
ushed
becauseIcoul
dnev ergetti
redathowhelooks
atme.Thenhiseyesl ookedupandhelooked
i
ntomyey es.

Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*y
ourey
esar
esmal
l
.
Me:
what
'
swr
ongwi
tht
hem bei
ngsmal
l
?
Xav
ier
:*smi
l
es*y
ouwi
l
lunder
standl
ater
.

Ir
oll
edmyey
essmi
l
ing,
andcont
inuedeat
ing.
Thewayheki ssesmeal way
smakesmy
pant
ieswet.ShouldIbefeel
ingl
i
kethi
s?We
j
uststar
teddatinganditget
ssohar
dtoresi
st
hi
m.
~~
Iwokeupt ot hebedempt y,
Ifrownedand
l
ookedar ound.WhenIgotoutoft hebed, I
shookmyheadbecauseIsl epti nmycl othesI
blameXav i
erbecausewewer et alki
ngsomuch
l
astnightIsl eptlate.Afterbrushingmyt eeth
anddoi ngmymor ningrouti
neIchangedmy
outfi
tintodeni mjeanswi thabl ackbody suittop
andadeni m cropjacketwithmywhi t
eAdi das
sneakers.Iletmyhai rl
oose.Myphoner ang
andIsawi twasMul ler
.Myhear tstart
ed
beati
ngupsof ast,Iwasscaredaunt iecall
ed
hi
m andt ol
dhi m.Ianswer edt hecal l
infear.

Mul
l
er:
uphi
?(Wher
ear
eyou?
)
Me:
I..
.CapeTown.
Mull
er:
*sighs*It
houghtIt
oldy
out
ost
ayi
n
Ki
ngWi l
li
amsTown.
Me:Icoul
dn't
,ifIstayedther
eIwoul
d'v
ekil
led
mysel
f.Theywer ereall
ybull
yi
ngme.Idon'
t
wanttogobackt here.
Muller
:*si
ghs*fi
ne.Aunt
iecall
edmelastni
ght
sayi
ngy ouweren'
tsl
eepingathomebecauseof
yourboyfr
iendbutIt
oldheryoudon'
thavea
boyfri
end.

Ipanickedforabi
t,butIcameupwi
tht
he
quickestl
ie.

Me:she'
sdelusional.Youknowhowt heyare.
Shemust'
vemi stakentheUberdri
verhel
ping
mewiththebagsasmyboy fri
end.
Mul
ler:
yeah.Iwil
llety
ouknowwhenIam back
i
nKing,Iwantyoutheret
oosowecansol
v eal
l
oft
hispett
yshit.
Me:
okay
.
Muller:t
alktoyoulater,
Iwillsendsomemoney
forgroceri
es,weleftthefr
idgeempt y.Bobby
camewi thussoy ouwi l
lbeal one.Lov
eyou,l
il
sis.
Me:
thanky
ou,
lov
eyout
oo.

Webot hhungupandf i
nal l
ybr eat
hed.Il i
edt o
Mullerandhethi
nksIam athome, het rustsme
somuch.Heact uallyli
stenstomywor dov er
auntie'
s.Wow,thisisact ual
lyanadv antagef or
me.Iwal keddownst ai
rs.Xav ierwaswat ching
somesoccershirtl
esswi thScr appy.Icoul dst i
l
l
seehehadt hebruises.Ismi ledandgr eeted
them.Scrappywassur prisedIwast here.

Scr
appy
:watgaanaan?(
Whati
sgoi
ngon?)
Xav
ier
:we'
redat
ing.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOPOV-
-
.
.
ScrappylookedatmeandIalr
eadyknewwhat
hewast hinki
ng.Lonaj
ustsmi
ledandwal
kedt
o
thekit
chen.

Scr
appy
:Mul
l
erwi
l
lki
l
lyou.
Me:
letmewor
ryaboutt
hat
.Noty
ou.
~~
Iparkedatmyuncl e'syar
d,andt herewasa
womanget ti
ngoutofthehouse.WhenIgotout
mycar .Iwasshockedt oseeLona' smom, wel
l
Ithi
nkt hat'
sher.Butshehadonaweav ewit
h
makeup, shelookedtoodiff
erentbutlooked
exactl
yl i
keher.Shewaswear ingheelsandshe
gotinherwhi t
eMer cedesGWagon.Shedr ove
pastmewhil
eIstoodt
her
eshocked.Whatt
he
fuckdi
dIj
ustsee?
[
02/
17,
16:
45]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT22
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Icoul
dn'
tevengoaftert
hecarbecauseshe
wasdriv
ingsofast
.Iquickl
ywal
kedinthe
houseandstar
tedl
ookingformyuncle.

Me:
Ghost
!*shout
s*
Fi
fi
:he'
snother
e.Hewentoutanhourago.
*
smi
l
es*
Me:
tanni
e(aunt
ie)
,whowast
hat
?
Fi
fi
:whathappenedt
oyourf
ace!
?*wor
ri
ed*
Me:
whot
hef
uckwast
hat
!?*
shout
s*
Fi
fi
:who?*
conf
used*
Me:thewomanwhojustwentoutr
ightnow.
Shewasdri
vi
ngtheGWagon.SheisLona's
mother!
Fif
i:no,Si
siphodoesnothav
eanychildr
en.I
thi
nkIwoul dknowifmybestfr
iendhad
chil
dren.*
chuckles*
Me: sheisLona'
smother
!Itist
hatf
uckingbi
tch!
Shewasher etohir
eahitonme.Arey ou
fuckingprot
ecti
ngher
!?*shout
s*
Fi
f i
:okay,Xav
ier
.Calm down.Iwillnothaveyou
speakt omeinthattone.Iam tell
i
ngy ou
Sisi
pho, mybestfr
iend,doesnothaveany
chil
dren.Shecannothav ekidsduetomedi cal
i
ssues.
Me:
Iswear
,tanni
e.Shel
ooksj
ustl
i
keLona'
s
mot
her
..
.
Fi
fi:
oryouarejustpar
anoid.Si
tdownandIwi
ll
getyousomethingtodri
nk.Peopl
elookal
i
ke
ever
yday.
Me:yeah,may
bemyeyesarefool
i
ngme.Ihat
e
t
hatbit
chsomucht
hatIstar
tseei
ngher
*
chuckles*
Fi
fi
:now,
tel
lmewhathappenedt
oyou.
Me:
Kennyhappened.
Fi
fi
:what
?Whendi
dthi
shappen?
Me:hesneakedanat
tackonmei
nEast
ern
Cape.
Fi
fi:
whatwer
eyouev
endoi
ngt
her
e,t
ell
me
again.
Me:
hadt
ogocheckonLona
Fi
fi
:doesthi
sLonaknowt
hesacr
if
icesy
ou
makeforher
?
Me: yes.Andsheappr eci
ateseverysingl
eone.
*chuckles*shei sdi
fferentfr
om thegirl
sIused
tohav e.Sheisacr y
baby ,butsomet i
messhe
l
ov esthinkingsheisbossyandor der
sme
around* laughs*andshehast hi
scute
expressiononherwhensheeat s.Andwhen
shesleepsshe-
Fi
fi
:ohmyGod.*
smi
l
es*

Ilookedatherandshewaslooki
ngatmewith
tearsinherey
es.Iwasconf
usedwhatthehel
l
shewascr yi
ngfor.

Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Fi
fi
:youar
einl
ove.
Me:
thenwhyar
eyoucr
ying?
Fi
fi
:Iam j
ustsoexcited!Youaregoi
ngtogi
ve
megrandchil
dren.*
sniff
s*sheneedstocome
ov
erfordinner
.Tonight,Xav
ier
.
Me:
tooear
ly.Ghostmi
ghtscar
eher*
laughs*
Fi
fi
:donotdi
ssmybabyl
i
ket
hat
.
Me:*l
aughs*Iwantt
ochil
lwit
hLonafi
rst
bef
oreherbrot
her
sgetbackandtheymight
wantherbacki
nthei
rhometown.
Fi
fi
:wher
eisherhomet
own?
Me:
East
ernCape.
Fi
fi
:wai
t,i
sn'
tthatwher
-
Me: Kennyis.Iknow,butitrustherbr
other
s.
Theywoul dneverletanyt
hinghappent oher
.
Kennyrespectsthem.It'
smet hathel
ikes
fucki
ngwi t
h.
Fif
i:hemayrespectherbrother
sbuthishate
foryouisstr
ongerthantherespecthehasfor
them.Shecannotgobackt her
e.Youare
sendinghertoherdeath.AndIhavenoteven
hadmygr andchi
ldr
eny et.
Me:youaregoi
ngt
owai
tal
ongt
imef
ort
hat
.
*
laughs*
Fi
fi
:j
ustbr
inghert
odi
nnert
oday
.

Thedooropened,
andIhear
dGhostt
alki
ng.

Ghost:Iwantt
hemoneycl
eanedinlesst
hat24
hour
sori ti
snotgoi
ngt
obeagr eatdayf
oryou
l
aait
ie.(ki
d)

Hecameinsi
det heki
tchenandi
mmediat
ely
dr
oppedthecall
,andl
ookedatme.Iknewhe
wasupsetovermyfacebrui
ses.

Ghost
:whodi
dit
?
Me:youdroppedabusinesscal
lfort
heset
iny
br
uises?*
chuckles*t
heyareheal
ing.
Ghost
:whodi
dit
?
Fi
fi
:Kenny
.Hewasi
nEast
ernCape.
Il
ookedather, shesmi
ledandshr
uggedher
shoul
ders.Iwasgoingtotel
lhi
m aft
erI
str
essedhimf orawhil
esohecanagr eet
ohel
p
mewi t
hthewarbecauseIwasgoi ngtoki
ll
KennyafterIf
indhim.

Ghost
:whatthefuckwer
eyoudoi
ngi
nEast
ern
Cape!
?*annoyed*
Me:
Ihadt
ogopr
otectLona.
Ghost
:thi
sLonawi l
lstar
ttogetonmyner
vesi
f
shemakey out
hinkir
rati
onal
.
Me: t
rustme,shei
stheonl
yreasonawar
hasn'
tstar
ted.
Ghost
:hesneakedanat
tack?
Me:thati
stheonlywayhewouldev erl
aya
fi
ngeronme.Thatweaklaai
tiet
hinkshecando
anyt
hinghewants.Iwanthi
m dead.
Ghost
:fuckawar
,letusdot
his.
Me:f
if
iandLonawi
l
lgot
othesaf
ehousef
ora
whi
l
e.
Fi
fi
:wait!Whydon'
tyouguysjustcal
lhisfather
andtel
lhimtocont
rolhi
ssonotherwise,he
mightfi
ndhi
m dead.I
nsteadofki
ll
inghimr i
ght
away,sendawarni
ngfir
st.
Me:Idonotcar
eaboutwar
nings.Iwanthi
m
dead.
Fi
fi
:Ihatet
hesaf
ehouse.AndIam sur
eLona
wi
llhat
eitt
oo.
Ghost
:Iwi
l
lthi
nkofapl
an.
Fi
fi:
canyoubel
iev
eZaythoughtSi
siphohada
daught
erandi
tisLona*
laughs*
Ghost
:*chuckl
es*Si
siphoandchi
l
dren?
Me:shelooksexactl
yli
kehermom, i
t'
sjustt
he
weaveandlif
esty
lesthatar
edif
fer
ent
Theyshookt
hei
rheadsl
aughi
ngnotbel
i
evi
nga
thi
ngIsai
d.
~~
Iwalkedi
nsi
dethehouse,andIsaw ev eryt
hing
wasclean.Ismi
ledt hatshecleanedthehouse
becauseIwasgoingt osortev
erythi
ngmy sel
f
whenIcamebackf rom myuncl e'
shouse.

Lona:
youar
eback.
Me:y
eah.GhostwasawaysoIhadt
owai
tfor
hi
m.

Shoul
dIt el
lheraboutthelookali
kesi
tuat
ion?I
deci
dednott obecauseImi ghtbethewrong
onehere.Shecameandr eachedovertogiv
e
meapeckonmyl ips.

Lona:
arey
ouokay
?
Me:
yes.
Lona:y
ourmindj
ustseemsl
i
kei
tisal
lov
ert
he
pl
ace.Youar
etooquiet.
Me:Iam fi
ne.Ghostgavemeper
missiontoki
l
l
KennybutIhavetowaitaf
ewdaysfi
rst.
Lona:murderi
sthel
astt
hingIwantt
otal
k
aboutpl
ease.
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Lona:IkeepseeingthedeadbodiesIsawt
hat
nightwheneverIsl
eep.Theeventkeeps
replay
inginmyheadl i
keabrokenCD.
Me:
wantsl
eepi
ngpi
l
ls?
Lona:
no.Iwil
lbefi
ne.Ihaveatherapysessi
on
whenIret
urnbacktoschoolIwi
llbefine.
Me:
okay
.

Iwant
edtoaskheraboutt
hesaf
ehouse,
butI
ki
ssedherf
ir
stsoshecanagr
eeeasi
l
y.
Me:
howwoul
dyouf
eel
stay
ingi
nasaf
ehouse?
Lona:
whati
sthat
?
Me: i
tisasmallhousei
nthemi ddl
eofnowher e.
Nooneknowst helocat
ionexceptGhost ,
and
ther
eisnoInter
netconnect
ionorany t
hingonly
foodandbooksplusgamesf orboredom.I ti
sa
safehouse.Noonecanhur tyouthere.
Lona:
Ihav
eschool
.
Me:
Ikno-
l
ona:
theny
ouknowIcannotgo.
Me:
letmef
ini
sh.
Lona:
sor
ry.
Me:iti
sforal
it
tl
ewhileunt
ilwesortthi
ngsout
aft
erIki
ll
KennybecauseKenny'
sfatheri
sver
y
danger
ous.
Lona:
Mullerwant
smebackhomewhenhei
s
donewit
ht hej
ob.
Me:
hewi
l
lhav
etowai
t.
Lona:
no,
thesaf
ehousewi
l
lwai
t.
Me:
Iona-
Lona:
baby
.

Ij
ustchuckl
edatherbei
ngstubbor
n.She
smil
edatme, Il
i
ckedmylipsshaki
ngmyhead.

Me:
youhav
etol
i
stent
ome.
Lona:
Iam.
Me:
whendoesMul
l
erwanty
oubacki
nKi
ng?
Lona:
aft
erhei
sdonewi
tht
hemi
ssi
on.
Me:
sonextweek.
Lona:
yes.
Me:whati
fKennyi
sther
eandhei
swai
ti
ngf
or
yout
ogetther
ean-
Lona:
Iwi
l
lbewi
thmybr
other
satal
lti
mes.I
won'
tev
engot
otown.Sodon'
twor
ry.
Me:
may
beIshoul
dcomewi
thy
ou.
Lona:no.Youaregoi
ngtost
ayher
e.St
opbei
ng
paranoi
d.Iwil
lbeokay.
Me:y
ouwil
lcal
lmei
ncasey
ouhav
eany
pr
obl
em.
Lona:
yes.*
rol
l
sey
essmi
l
ing*
Me:
Iam ser
ious
Lona:
Iknowy
ouar
e.Ar
eyouhungr
y?
Me:
Lel
ona.
..
Lona:yesXavier
,Iwil
lcal
lyoui
fIhav
ea
probl
em.Stopwor r
ying,y
oushoul
dbewor
ri
ed
aboutyouri
njuri
es.
Me:
Iam f
eel
i
ngbet
ter
.
Lona:
arey
ouhungr
y?
Me:
arey
ougoi
ngt
ocook?*
smi
rks*
Lona:
no.*
laughs*
Il
ookedather,shel
aughedevenmore.Idon't
mindnotbei
ngablet
ocookbutatleastshe
shoul
dbeabletodosomethi
ngbesidesclean.

Lona:
I'
mjokingbabe,
Iwi
l
lcook.It
houghty
ou
l
ikedt
akeaways.
Me:
notal
lthet
ime.Iwantmybabyt
osur
pri
se
mesomet
imes.
Lona:wel
lyoushoul
dbuygr
ocer
iessoIcan
surpr
isey
ou.
me:
Ithi
nkGl
ady
sboughtsomef
ood.
Lona:
Glady
s..
.?
Me:
mymai
d.
Lona:
oh.
..
Me:
don'
tworry
,she'
sol
denought
obemy
mot
her*
chuckl
es*
Lona:
Ijustsai
doh,
not
hingel
se*
laughs*
Me:Iknowwhengi
rl
ssayoh,
itmeans
somethi
ngbad.
Lona:eshee*
laughs*y
out hi
nky
ouknow
ever
ythi
ngaboutfemales.
Me:
IknowIdo.*
smi
rks*
Lona:
okay
,Xav
ier
.

Shewal kedovert
ot heki
tchen.If
oll
owed
cl
oselybehindher.Theki
tchenwasspotless
andthatconfusedmebecauseIr emember
Scr
appymaki ngabi gmesswhenhewant ed
somef ood.Thatti
meLonawasi nmyroom.

Me:youshoul
d'
vef
orcedScr
appyt
ocl
eanhi
s
mess.
Lona:
Iam nott
hatmean.
Me:onceyoustartdoingt
hingsf
orhi
m,hewi
l
l
t
akeadvantage.TrustmeIknow.
Lona:
*chuckl
es*st
opbei
ngmean,
andsi
t
down.
Me:
fine,
don'
tl
ist
ent
ome.*
smi
l
es*
Lona:
hav
eyout
akeny
ourmedi
cine?
Me:
yup.

Shestart
edmakingasandwichf
orme.Fi
ll
ed
withcheese,
tomat
oes,l
ett
uceandham.Then
shemadesomej ui
ceforme.Andgavet
he
plat
etomeandj ui
cewit
hasmi l
eonher.

Me:
Icoul
dgetusedt
othi
s.
Lona:her
eyougoruini
ngamomentwi
thy
our
cockycomments.*
chuckl
es*
Me:
ohwewer
ehav
ingamoment*
smi
l
es*
Lona:
no,
Iam j
usti
magi
ningt
hings.*
sar
cast
ic*
Il
aughedatherbei
ngsar
cast
ictome.Ipul
led
hercl
osertome.Andki
ssedhershebl
ushed
andgri
nned.

Lona:
whatwast
hatf
or?
Me:
can'
tIki
ssmygi
rl
?
Lona:
*laughs*Idi
dn'
tsayt
hat
.
Me:
Ijustr
eal
l
yadmi
rey
ou.
Lona:*
smil
es*whowoul
d'v
ethoughtt
het
ough
Xavi
erwoul
dbethi
ssoft
.
Me:I'
m nev
ergoi
ngt
ober
omant
icwi
thy
ou
agai
n
Lona:
Iam notsay
ingt
hatbaby
.

Shesmiled,
peckedmyl
i
psr
epeat
edl
yunt
ilI
smil
ed.Shegiggl
ed.
Lona:Ij
ustdi
dn'
texpectyout
obet hissweet.
Fi
rstt
imeIsawitwasv er
yscared,
y oulooked
waytoomean.
Me:andy ouwer
ethebiggestcr
ybabyint
hat
house.Andyousti
l
lar
e.Youwer edramat
ict
oo
Lona:
Iam notdr
amat
ic.
Me:baby,y
oupul
l
edKay
lat
oanot
herr
oom j
ust
t
otalktoher.
Lona:
Idon'
tl
iket
alki
ngar
oundpeopl
eIdon'
t
know.
Me:
*chuckl
es*okay
,ify
ousayso.
Lona:
*smi
l
es*mx
m.
Me:myauntwant
syout
ogoatherhousef
or
di
nner
Lona:
no.

Shel
ookedscaredandIj
ustl
aughedoutl
oud.
Shef
oldedherarmsandl
ookedatme.
Me:
shei
sreal
l
yancaal
ady
.
Lona:
iti
swayt
oosoon.
Me:wewer
ejusttal
ki
ngabouty
ou,
andshe
want
edtomeetyou.
Lona:
tal
ki
ngaboutme?whataboutme?
Me:shewasj
ustaski
ngwhyIwasfi
ght
ingwit
h
Kenny,
andt
hereasonformebei
ngsohappy
.
Lona:
andy
ousai
ditwasme?*
blushes*
Me:
yes*
chuckl
es*

Ipl
acedherinbetweenmyl egs,andheldher
waist
.IwantedtotouchherfatasssobadbutI
hadtocontr
olmy sel
fbecauseIhavetot ake
babystepswit
hherev enwhenIwantt or ush
thi
ngssomuch.

Lona:
Iwi
l
lgo,
butwhati
ftheydon'
tl
ikeme?
Me:
trustmet
heywi
l
l.
Lona:
but
-
Me:nobut
s,l
etmeenj
oymyf
oodandmy
woman.

Iki
ssedhersl owly,Imadesur etokissherso
goodbecauseIwant edhertobehor ny .The
small eyesonherl ooksexyasf uck.I tisreal
ly
cuteshedoesn' tknowwhenherey esbecome
small theymeansomet hingelse.Shepul l
edmy
l
ips,breakingt hekissof f
.Ilookedatherey es
andt heywer esmal l.Ili
ckedmyl ipslookingat
her.Shebl ushedandl ookeddown.

Lona:
stopl
ooki
ngatmel
i
ket
hat
.
me:
li
kewhat
?
Lona:
justeaty
ourf
ood.
Shewalkedawaylaughi
ng.Ishookmyhead
andar
et hesandwichwi
thsomej ui
ce.
~~
Il
ookedatherwear ingthesi
mplet i
ghtblue
dress.Shehadbr aidedherhai
rintwobr aids.
Shelookedv erybeautif
ul.Thedressshowed
offhercur v
esi nthemostsexywayev er.Iwore
mybl uet-shirtwithablackJean,withbluecap
andbl uesneaker s.

Lona:
copy
ingmyst
yle,
Isee.
Me:
nicet
ry*
smi
l
es*

Shesmi l
edwithmeandwewenttomyuncl
e'
s
house.Wegott her
eandIr
emember
edwhatI
sawy est
erday
.

Me:
whati
syourmom'
sname?
Lona:
what
?
Me:
yourmom'
sname.
Lona:
whyar
eyouaski
ng?
Me:
ther
eisnov
ali
dreasonf
ori
t.
Lona:don'
ttel
lmeyourpl
anni
ngtor
esear
ch
abouther.Iwil
lbev
eryannoy
ed.
Me:
no,
Lel
ona.Justt
ell
mehername.
Lona:
Isi
pho
Me:
notSi
sipho?
Lona:
no.I
sipho.
Me:
okay
...
Lona:
whyar
eyouaski
ng?

IneedtoresearchonLona'smom becauseher
havi
ngsomeonewhol ooksj
ustl
ikeherst
il
l
confusesmeal ot.Ineedtogett
ot ohel
p
bott
om ofthis.
Me:
Itol
dyou,
Idonothav
eav
ali
dreason.
Lona:
wel
lwhati
sthatr
eason?
Me:justwant
edt
oknowf
ort
hesakeof
knowing

Shedidn'
tbeli
evemeso, shej
ustroll
edher
eyesandwalkedtowar dsthedoor.Ishookmy
headbecauseIdidn'twantustohav ean
argumentri
ghtbeforewehav edinnerwithmy
uncleandmyaunt .Icaughtupwithherand
heldherwai
stfrom thebackandki ssedher
cheek.

Me:IIam notgoi
ngt
odoany
thi
ngt
oher
.I
pr
omise.

Shel
ookedbackatmeandsmi
l
ed.Icannot
bel
ieveIam bei ngcontroll
edbyawoman.Lov e
i
sreall
yt hestrangestthingever.Idon'
twantt o
admititbutifthisgir
lsaidshewant ed
someonedead, Iwoulddoi tinaheartbeat.She
couldtel
l met ojumpi nariverf
ullofsharks.I
woulddoi tjustforher.Ichuckledindisbeli
ef
athowwhi ppedIam.Iopenedt hedoor,and
walkedinwi thher.Icouldseeshewasner vous
soIheldherhandt oassureherev ery
thingwill
beokay .

Me:
Ghost
!
Ghost
:di
ningr
oom!

Iknewwewer eabitlat
ebecauseLonahadt o
brai
dherhair
.That'
swhyshewasal sonerv
ous
becauseshedidn'
twantthem t
osayshe'srude.

Fi
fi
:andwef
inal
l
ymeett
hef
amousLona.
Lonasmi
l
edandl
ookedner
vousashel
l
.

Lona:
goodev
eni
ng.
Fi
fi
:hey,Iam Ref
il
oeandthi
sismyhusband
Xander
.HeisXav i
er'
suncl
e.
Lona:
it'
sver
yni
cet
omeety
ou.
Fi
fi
:l
ikewi
se.*
smi
l
es*

Theystar
tedtal
ki
ngandtal
ki
ngaboutsomany
di
ffer
entthi
ngs,myuncl
eandIstar
tedget
ti
ng
annoyed.

Ghost
:youwi
ll
cal
lheri
nti
mef
ordi
nner
.We
wil
lbei
nthemancave.

Fi
fij
ustwav
edusof
fandst
art
edt
alki
ngt
o
Lonaagain.Ismil
edandleftt
hem ther
eand
fol
lowedbehindmyuncle.Wewat chedsome
rugbywhiledri
nki
ngbeersbecausethedi
nner
wast aki
ngalotofti
me.

Ghost
:she'
spr
ett
y.Iwi
l
lgi
vey
out
hat
.
Me:
Iknow.
Ghost
:whatwi
l
lherbr
other
ssayaboutt
his?
Me:
wewi
l
lcr
osst
hatbr
idgewhenwegett
her
e.
Ghost
:soyoupushi
nghert
oakit
chencount
er
wasyourwayofchar
mingher
?*l
aughs*
me:
don'
tst
art
.
Ghost
:sheisnotyourt
ypicalt
ypebutshe's
goodfory
ou.Iseethewayy oulookather.
She'
sgoodforyou,butdon'tl
etherchangeyou
i
nthegame.
Me:
meani
ng?
Ghost
:thef
ir
stt
imeIf
ell
forFi
fiIbecameweak,
everyonestartedchall
engi
ngmeand
disrespecti
ngmebecausewheny ou'
rei
nlove.
Yout ryeveryt
hingnottodisappoi
ntyourgi
rlbut
remembert hehustl
eneverstops.Sheshoul
dn't
i
nt erf
erewithy ourmoneyorgame.
Me:
shewon'
t.

Henodded.AndIl
ookedawayupsetthatGhost
want
smet obemor etoughbuthe'
ssoftas
f
uckwithFif
i.
{
NEXTWEEK}
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Xav
ier
:youwi
l
lcal
lassoonasy
oul
and.
Me:
yes
Xav
ier
:okay
,besaf
e.Andassoonasapr
obl
em
r
esur
faces.Cal
lmequi
ckl
y
Me:
Iwi
l
l.
Xav
ier
:Iam ser
ious,
baby
.
Me:
Iam t
oo.
Xav
ier
:wheny
ouwi
l
lcomeback?
Me:Iwil
ltal
kwi
thmybr
other
ssoIcancome
backear
ly.
Xav
ier
:okay
.Seey
out
hen.
Me:
Iwi
l
lmi
ssy
ou.

Ipoutedlooki
ngathim.Ireal
l
ywillmisshim.
Thisweekhasbeenamazi ng,webondedov er
every
thing.Andheletsmebeme.Thedi nner
withhisfamil
ywasalsoamazing.Fi
fireal
ly
l
ikesme, andboyam Ihappyaboutthat.

Xav
ier
:Iwi
l
lcal
lyouev
ery
day
.
Me:
bye.
Xav
ier
:by
e.

HeletmegoandIwenttodoev erythi
ngsoI
cangetinmyf l
i
ght
.WhenIwasdone, Ifinal
l
y
gotonthef l
i
ght
.WhenIf
inal
l
yar r
ived.Isaw
Mull
er&Ki ngIr
antot
hem wit
hmybagand
huggedthem.

Me:
Imi
ssedy
ouguy
ssomuch!
Mul
l
er:
missedy
out
ool
i
lsi
s.
Ki
ng:
whathappenedt
oyourcheek?

Heseent her
emai
ningsmallbr
uisefr
om wher
e
Kennypunchedme.WordsgotstuckandI
di
dn'tev
enknowhowt orepl
y.
.
.
.
Guysmybat ter
yison3%andI'
m atmyv i
ll
age
thatiswhyIam sobusy .Iwil
ltr
ytof i
nda
chargert
hough ther
emaybemistakesin
thepost
[
02/
17,
16:
45]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT23
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Theybot
hlookedatmeandIwasut
ter
lyst
uck
wit
hnoli
einmymout h.
Ki
ng:
Lel
ona.
Me:
pleasej
ustdr
opi
t.

Mullertouchedmyf
aceandcheckedthebrui
se
out.Iknowhewasangryfarmoreangryt
hanhe
couldexplain.

Mul
ler
:Idon'twanttocauseasceneher
e.
Masambeni.(Let
'sgo)

Mul
lert
ookmybagandwal
kedfi
rst
.Whenwe
wer
einsi
det
hecar
.That
'swhenheexpl
oded.

Mul
l
er:
whot
hef
uckdi
dthi
stoy
ou!?*
angr
y*
Me:
cany
oupl
easej
ustdr
opt
his?
Muller
:Iwil
lnotfucki
ngdropi
t!
?You'
reourl
it
tl
e
sist
erandIswearifyoudaret
ofucki
ngtel
lme
todropit
,Iwil
lloseit
.
Me:
mom.

Ididn'tknowwhatt osaysoIl ied.Icannott ell

mybr other
sIwaswi thXav i
erandKenny
accident al
l
ypunchedme.Thatwoul dcausea
hugehav ocsituati
on.Ididn'twantt r
oubleatall
,
andmom deser veswhat '
scomi ngt oherfor
treati
ngmesobadl y.Ididn'
tevenknowi fI
shoul dtellt
hem aboutt hewhi psituati
on.They
bothl ookedv eryangryshockedt hatourmot her
woul d"punchme" .Thegui l
tkepteat i
ngme
alivewhenhedr oveof fi
nanger .Thecarwas
mov i
ngsof astIwasscar edhewoul dcrashthe
car.Assoonaswear ri
vedhome, heparkedin
thegar ageandj umpedoutoft hecar .

Me:
Khazi
mla!
Mul
l
er:
stayoutofi
t.
Me:
Iam al
readyi
nit
.Pl
easel
eti
tgo.I
twi
l
l
makemat
ter
swor
se.
Muller
:doy
ouseey ourcheek!
?Matter
sare
alr
eadywor
se.Ineedtosortthi
soutonceand
forall
.

Hest
ormedi
nsi
det
hehouse,andKi
nghel
ped
mewit
hmybag.

Me:
cany
out
ell
himt
onotov
err
eact
.
Ki
ng:mom needstostopt
hismadness.And
Mull
eri
stheonlyoneshel
ist
ensto.
Me:Idon'twantt
ocausetensi
oni
nthehouse.
Iwi
l
l bethebadperson.
Ki
ng:no.That'
snott
rueatal
l
,shei
stheone
whokeepscreati
ngt
hetensi
onandal
lofthi
s
wi
llendtoday
.Comeon.

Wewal
kedi
nsi
det
hehouse,
andIr
egr
ett
ed
returni
ngbecausewhenIsteppedinmyaunt
glaredatme,mom lookedangry.

Mama:kutheni
uxokangam nj
ewena?(
Why
ar
eyoulyi
ngaboutme?)
Me:
ma?
Mama:
uthi
nya.
Me: mom,pleasedon'
tdothi
s.Youknow
you'r
etheonlywhodidit
.Don'
tmakemelook
crazy.

Rightnowtearswerefal
li
ng,notbecauseIwas
scaredofherbutbecausetheguil
twaseating
meal i
ve.Shelookedatmesosad, Iwantedto
comeoutwi ththetr
uthbutIjustl
ookeddown.

Mull
er:
here'swhat
'sgoi
ngt
ohappen.Youwil
l
apol
ogizeandshe'
sofft
hechor
esforawhil
e
unt
ilIdon'
tseet
hebr
uiseonher
.
Me:
Khazi
mlai
t'
soka-
Mul
l
er:
qui
et!

Ishutmymout hupr
ealqui
ckandIfeltreal
ly
bad.Idon'
tknowwhyIam li
kethi
s,maybe
becauseIknowshedidn'
ttakepar
tinthis
brui
se.

Mama: Khazi
mlaawuzondi
xel
elamandenze
nt
oniendli
niyam!(
Khaziml
ayouwon'
ttel
lme
whatt
odoi tmyhouse!)
Mull
er:ndibhatal
ayonkeikakael
apha
ndi
zokwazi .(
WhileI
'm st
il
lpayi
ngforev
ery
thi
ng
shi
tthatishereIwil
l.
)
Mama: bonanj
emasiveutatawakhouzothi
ni
ngal
ento!(
Youknowwhatl et'
shearwhatyour
fat
herwil
lsayaboutt
his!
)
Mull
erjustshruggedcarel
essl
y.Mom gotso
angr
yshest oodupandt ri
edtocomebeatme
up,butKingstoodinfrontofme.

King:
yint
oninaoladyingat
hiungumnt
ana
ezwayuzenzayo.(Whatisi
tMom you'
react
ing
l
ikeachil
d)
Mama:Yanga,ungandi
xel
eliukhol
elwalent
o!
(
Yangadon'
ttel
lmey oubel
ievethi
st hi
ng!
)
King:
unemibal
ael
imnyamangexayakho!(
She
hasadarkbrui
sebecauseofy
ou!
)
Mama:unenzani
ndi
j
ikel
e(she'
smaki
ngy
ou
t
urnagai
nstme.)

Iwalkedtomyroom andj ustlai

donmybed.I
coul
dn'tst
aytheref
orthatf i
ghtbecauseitwas
aboutme.Icall
edmyboosi nceImissedhim
somuch.Iwant edmymi ndt ogetdist
ract
edby
al
lthemessmyf
ami
l
yhas.Heanswer
edv
ery
qui
ckly
.

Me:
baby
..
.
Xavi
er:
mylief
.(Myl
ove)watgaanaan?(
What
's
goi
ngon?)
Me:whywouldyousaythat
?YousaidIshoul
d
cal
lyouassoonasIgethome.Iam home.

Iheardthedoorbei
ngknocked.Ihi
dmyphone
underthepil
l
owandr antothedoorsothe
persondoesn'
tsuspectany
thi
ng.Iopenedthe
dooranditwasMul l
er

Mul
l
er:
ugr
and?(
You'
reokay
?)
Me:
yes.
Mul
l
er:
ubut
het
ha..
.(y
ouwer
espeaki
ng.
..
)
Me:
Iwasj
ustgi
vi
ngmy
sel
fapept
alk.
Mull
er:
Idon'
twantyoutohat
ey ourhome.
That
'swhyIwastoughonmom becausethat
'
s
whenshe'
ll
tal
ktr
eatingy
oudif
ferentl
y.
Me:
Ihopeso.
Mul
l
er:
okay
,Iwi
l
lbei
nmyf
lati
fyouneedme

Inoddedandhewalkedaway.Ibreat
hed,thenI
l
ockedthedoor
.WhenIsatont hebed,It
ook
myphoneandXavierwassti
l
l onthel
ine.

Me:
sor
ryaboutt
hat
.
Xav
ier
:what
'sgoi
ngon?
Me:Mul
l
erhandl
edthemom si
tuati
on.Wewil
l
seet
omorr
owifshetr
eat
smedi f
ferent
ly.
Xavi
er:
IknewIl
i
kedhi
m bet
tert
hant
heot
her
brot
her
.
Me:
don'
tDi
ssKi
ng.
Xav
ier
:jammerbaba.(
Sor
ry,
baby
.)*
laughs*
Me:neversaybabaagainbecauset
hat
soundedsoweird.*
laughs*
Xav
ier
:Imi
ssy
ou.
Me:
real
l
ynow.
..*
smi
rks*
Xav
ier
:don'
tpushi
t.
Me:
Imi
ssy
out
oo.Mor
eact
ual
l
y.
Xavier
:ri
ghtnowIwoul
dbecuddl
ing,
wat
chi
ng
soccerandkissi
ngy
outhenmydaywoul
dbe
al
lmade.
me:
you'
rej
ustt
ryi
ngt
omakemebl
ush.
*
smil
es*
Xavi
er:Iam ser
ious.Imi
ssourcuddl
es.You
needtohurr
yupandcomeback.
Me:
it'
s2weeksl
eft
.
Xav
ier
:feel
sli
keet
erni
ty.
Me:
*bl
ushes*andy
ousai
dyouwer
en'
tthe
r
omant
ictype.
Xav
ier
:Iam not
.ButIam j
ustbei
nghonest
.
Me:mybrot
hersaskedaboutt
hecheekbr
uise
f
rom t
heKennyfi
ght.
Xav
ier
:whatdi
dyousay
?
Me:Ipi
nnedi
tonmom.If
eel
sogui
l
ty.I
t'
s
eat
ingmeup
Xav
ier
:why
?Shedeser
vesi
t
Me: t
hewayMull
erspokewit
hher
.Itwaslike
shewasn'thi
smom,itwassodi
srespect
ful.I
fel
treal
l
ybad.
Xav i
er:
everyti
mey oufeelgui
lt
yyoushoul
d
remembert hewayshet r
eatedyouandall
that
shitwil
lfl
yoffthewindow.
Me:
*chuckl
es*okay
,Iwi
l
ltr
ythat
.
~~
Aft
erthecal
lthatlast
edf orhours.Iwasalways
l
aughi
ngandIam sur ethoset hatheardme
thi
nkIhavel
ostmymi nd.IgotonWhat sApp
andpostedastatussaying" whoknewIcould
bethi
shappy. "Ismi l
edj ustl
ookingatmy
phone.Icannotbeli
eveIam actual
lyfall
i
ngin
l
ove.Myphonev ibr
atedbecauseIrecei
veda
message.IcheckedmyWhat sAppandi twas
Cardo.

Car
do :
Rel
l
iki
sgoodf
ory
ou,
youev
enhappy
now
Me:mxm,
ify
ou'
regoi
ngt
oannoymedon'
ttext
me
Car
do :
missy
out
ooki
ddo.
Me:
Idon'
tmi
ssy
ou
Car
do :
hahahav
eryf
unny
Me:I
'm onlyj
oki
ngidi
ot Imi ssyoutoo,y
ou
andXavierar
etheonl
yfr
iendsIhav
eleft
.
Car
do :t
hat
'sbecausey
ou'
ret
oocr
azyt
o
hav
emor
efri
ends.
Me:that
'sbecauseidontwantnewf
ri
ends.I
am goodwithonly2fr
iends.
Car
do :
yeahr
ight

IknowCar dowasj oki

ngbuti wasabi t
offendedthathewasr i
ght.Ican'
tev enmake
fr
iends.Iam stuckwithonly2f r
iendsinmylif
e.
Iwasget t
ingabitthir
stysoIunlockedmydoor
andwentt othekit
chen.Isawmymot herand
auntprepari
ngfood.Iwant edtoturnbackso
badbutIwasr eall
ythirst
y.WhenIopenedt he
fr
idgethat'
swhent heystoppedtalki
ngand
bothlookedatme.

Dabs:nal
i
'i
hul
elomzi(
her
e'st
hehoeoft
he
house)
Mama:Ndeshmyekeman.Inent
oeninzii
nto
enal
omnt
ana.(
Ndeshleav
eheralone.Thi
schil
d
bri
ngsal
otoft
roubl
e.)

Theybot
hkeptqui
etandIj
ustdr
ankmywat
er
andwal kedbackt omyr oom.Iwasf eeli
ng
sleepyso,Isl ept.Idon' tev enwantt heirgreasy
food!Idon' tev endoany t
hingt ot hem buti t'
s
l
iket hei
rdayi snotokaywi thoutt hem t ear i
ng
medown.Thenex tdayIwokeupscr eami ng.I
hadt hedr eam oft hedeadpeopl eJRand
Shoot ershot .Iwassweat ingandhav i
nga
panicat tackscar edt hatIwi l
ldieher einKi ng
Wi l
li
amsTown.Ir eachedov ermyphonet ocall
Xav i
erbutIst oppedbecauseIcoul dn'tcal lhim.
Hewoul dr ushher ev eryfastandt hatwoul d
placehimi ndanger .Itr i
edcont ainingmypani c
attackthenaf t eritgotbet terIbr eat hedbet ter
andIj ustcoul dn'tst opt hinkingofal l t
hebl oodI
saw.Ir ushedt otakemysmal lblankett hen
wentt ot hel ounget owat chsomecar toons
may bet heywi llmakemef eel better.Idi dn't
wantt obot hermybr othersbecauset heyhav e
separ at
ef latsout sidet hehouseandIwas
scaredofbot her i
ngt hem.Af terwat chingt he
cartoonmov iet hat'swhenIf eltsleepyandi t
tookeverythingaway.Iwentt
otomyr oom and
threwmy selfonthebedandjustsl
ept.Iwoke
upt osomeonebangi ngonmydoor .Igroaned
wakingup.Iwal kedt
ot hedoori
nabadmood.

Mul
l
er:
whydi
dn'
tyout
urnt
heTVof
fatni
ght
?
Me:
what
?*t
ir
ed*
Mull
er:Mom saysyou'
renotbeingcooperat
ive
wit
htheagreementtonotprovokeher.You
shoul
dturntheTVoffatni
ghtandt heli
ghtsoff
.
Me:
sor
ry,
Ifor
got
.Iwassl
eepy
.
Mull
er:youguy
sar
est
art
ingt
oir
ri
tat
emeI
swear.

Hewal kedawaycl earl

yannoyedwi t
ht he
chi
ldi
shbehav i
ourmeandmymom had.I
wantedt osleepagainsoIstart
edcr eati
ngmy
sl
eepunt il
itcameup.Isleptli
keababyunt i
lI
fi
nall
ywokeupshockedt hatIslepttil
lnoon.
Thet imewas4pm andi remember edIhav en'
t
eatenany t
hingandIst i
ll
wasn' thungr ybutI
neededt oeat.Iwalkedtosl eeptheki t
chent o
boilwat erformyeggs.Af termymor ning
routineandchangi ngintomygr eysweat pants
andbl ackbaggyt -
shir
tandbl ackpuf f
yslides.I
wentbackt otheki t
chen.Ri ghtnowmymom
waspr epari
ngsampandbeans.Iboi l
edmy
eggsandeatt hem wi t
hbr eadaf terIwasdoneI
noticedmybr othersweren'tthere.

Me:baphi
ooYanga?(
Wher
ear
eYangaand
Khazi
mla?
)
Mama:andi
baziokobebemkeekuseni
.(Idon'
t
know,
theyl
efti
nthemor ni
ng)
Me:
okay
.

Shecont
inuedst
ir
ri
ngthepotandaddingsome
spi
cesandoil
.Dabswasn'
taroundandthat
wasqui
teshockingt
omebecauseshe'
susual
l
y
wher
evermom is.

Me:
uDabawoumki
l
e?(
Aunt
iei
sgone?
)
Mama:ewe,okoebey
othengai
Vegetown.(Yes,
shewental
ongtimeagotogobuyvegetabl
es.)
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
Mama:
he?(
What
?)
Me:
Iam sor
ry.
Mama:
ndi
yay
azi(
Iknow)
Me:
mama-
Mama: bauyakubethahambangokuusakwazi
Lel
ona.(I
fhehitsyouleav
ewhil
ey oucan
Lel
ona)
Me:
hedi
dn'
tbeatmeup.Hewoul
dnev
erdo
t
hat
.Hel
ovesme.
Mama: ucacisanj
anil
ombal
a?(howdoy
ou
expl
ainthatbrui
se?)
Me:
masi
yi
yeke.(
Let
'sl
eav
eit
.)
Mama: inyaniizophumaanduzozi solaba
utheniuy enzalent ohulendi nirhaauzokuny a
Lelonaman!Uy andinyisaendl i
niyam ogqiba
undixel
el endiyiyekeingat hiabantwana
abandij
ikelangawena!( Thet r
uthwillcomeout
andy ouwi llr
egr etwhaty ouraredoingy ouhoe
damny ouwi ll
seeLel ona!You'remaki ngme
l
iveuncomf ortableinmyownhouset heny ou
tel
lmet oleavei talonel i
kemysonsdi dn'ttur
n
againstmef ory ou!)
Me:
I..
.

Ij
ustwal
kedtomyroom becauseIknewifI
sai
danotherwor
dIwil
llandi
nmor etr
ouble.
MaybeIneedtoj
ustshutupandlett
hisgo.
~~
NextdayIwokeupdi
dmymorningr
outi
neand
i
ntomykneer i
ppedl
i
ghtbl
uej
eanswit
h
super st
arsneaker
sandmygr ey"yeezustour"t-
shir
t.Myhai rwassti
ll
inthet
wobr aids.My
brothersweretaki
ngmeoutf orshoppingandI
want ednewsneakers.Myauntwasst il
lnot
backandmyuncl epl
usdadwer eonabusi ness
tr
ip.Theyaret r
uckdri
ver
ssot hat
'swhyt hey
're
neverhome.

Mul
l
er:
youar
eready
?
Me:
yes.

Wewentt otown,andIwasabitscar
edImi ght
bumpi nt
oKennyandhe'l
lrev
ealIam dat
ing
Xavi
er.Wef i
rstwentt
oMrPrice,
andbought
newclothes.
~~
Af
tert
hewholeshoppi
ngt
hetimewasnow
3:
30pm andIwant
edsomethi
ngnew.
Me:
iwantt
ohav
eanewcol
orweav
e.
Ki
ng:
what
?
Me:Iwantt
ohav eanewweav
eandmyweav
e
shoul
dbeblonde.
Mul
l
er:
whi
chsal
on?
King:
blonde?*
laughs*ndi
zoy
bonal
e!(
We'
l
lsee
aboutthi
s)

Iwentt
ot hehairpor
tsalonandIhadtobuy
weaveanddomyhai r.SoIsetanappoi
ntment
foraweeklaterbecauseIwantedtobuya
weavefi
rst.
~~
Athomewewal kedi
nsi
dewithusl
aughingat
mehav i
ngatdumbmomenti nt
hecar.When
wegotinside,
mom sawmybagsandshook
herhead.Iwenttomyroom andpl
acedthem
onthebed.Icall
edXavi
er,
andherepli
edaft
era
l
ongt i
me.
Xav
ier
:yes?
Me:
sor
ryar
eyoubusy
?
Xav
ier
:abi
t.

Ihear
damumbl edscr
eam i
nthebackgr
ound
andaloudsmack.

Me:
Iwi
l
lcal
lyoul
ater
.By
e.
Xav
ier
:okay
,by
e.

Ihungupandjusttr
iedtonotfreakoutthathe
wasinthepr
ocessofhur ti
ngsomeone.Idonot
wanttogeti
nvolv
edsoIwi llj
ustkeepquiet
abouti
t.Iwenttotheloungeandthereshewas
l
ookingmeanasev er.Mymom coul dnever
l
ookhappyevenifherlif
edependedoni t.
Mama:ndi
y abonaugqi
bobancuv
a(Iseey
ou
hav
ejustf
inishedusi
ngthem)
Me:
notnow.
Mama: ndit
hini
ungathet
hiLel
onaxaabantwana
bam bebezi
ATM zakho!?(WhycanInott
alk
Lel
onawhenmychi l
drenareyourATM?)
me:nam ndi
ngumt
anawakho!(
Iam y
ourchi
l
d
al
so!
)*shout
s*

Iwasv er
yangrybecauseshealwayshadto
commentbullshi
tonanylit
tlet
hingIdi
ditwas
star
ti
ngtocreateangeri
nsideme.

Mama:
mxm.

ShelookedattheTVagain.Iwasso
heart
brokenandangryatthesamet i
me,
inmy
angerIscreamedandshel ookedatmel
ikeI
wascr
azy
.

Me: y
intoniinxakiyakho!
?Ndenzay onkeikaka
uyi
funay okodwauy andi
nyel
aqhozange
ndenzani xkuwekodwaundi phethekakubi
i
ngathi andi
ngowakho.( Whatisy ourproblem!
?
Idoev eryshityouwantbuty oushi tonme
ever
yt i
meInev erdidanythi
ngtoy oubuty ou
tr
eatmebadl yli
keIam noty ours.)
Mama: hewethuungandi
nxol
eli
mnandibukel
e
uRhythm City(don'
tmakenoi
sef ormeIam
watchingRhy t
hm City
)

Iwassodef eatedbecauseshewassocal m
andhereIwasr agi
ngwi thanger.If
eltsodumb
becausecl
ear l
yshewillneverl
ist
entome.And
Ireal
l
ydon'tknowhowandwhenour
rel
ati
onshi
pgott othi
spoi nt
.
mama: i
nxakiyakhouy i
bukelatoomuchi TV.
Uzotswi
naxaunomsi ndo*l
aughs*irakizininzi
kwaDani
el kodwa* clapshands*(yourpr oblem
i
sy ouwatchtoomuchTV.Scr eamingwheny ou
ar
eangry,ment al
lyunst abl
epeoplear etoo
manyintheDani elfami l
y.

InmyangerIwentt
othekitchent
ograbakni
fe
andwhenIwasabouttostabher,
she
screamedget
ti
ngupquickl
yandrunni
ngaway
from me.

Me:
ndi
yakucapukel
a!(
Ihat
eyou!
)*cr
ies*

Mybrother
sappear
edinthepr
ocessofme
chasi
ngher.Ki
ngqui
ckl
ytookthekni
fef
rom
me.

Ki
ng:
uphambene!
?(Ar
eyoucr
azy
!?)
me:Ihateher,
Iwantherdead.Andizohlal
a
aphamnandifunaubuyelaeKapa.Ndiniwe
nguye*cr
ieshyst
eri
cal
ly*(Iwon'
tstayhereI
wanttogobacktoCapeTown.Iam t iredofher
)
Mull
er:mamakwenzekant
oni
apha?(
Mom
what'
sgoingonher
e?)
Mama: kut
heniubuzamna!?Buzal
ent
oibuf
una
undibulal
a.(Whyareyouaski
ngme!
?Askthi
s
thi
ngt hatwantedtoki
ll
me.)
King:
stopcal
l
ingherat
hing.She'
syour
daughter
!
Mama:mxm, ungandi
xel
eli
ikakaYanga'
i
nkosi
.
(
Don'
ttel
lshi
t,Yanga'
i
nkosi.
)
Mul
l
er:
Lel
onagot
oyourr
oom.

Iwalkedtomyroom, butatt
hesamet i
meI
wantedtohearwhattheywil
lsaytoher.Ical
l
ed
Xavi
ertotakemymi ndoffal
lofthi
s.He
answeredqui
ckl
y.
Xav
ier
:baby
.
Me:
hey
..
.
Xav
ier
:you'
reokay
?
Me:y
es.Justt
houghtIshoul
dcal
lyousi
nceI
mi
ssyou.
Xavi
er:
Imi ssy
out
oo.Thehousei
sver
yqui
et
wit
houtyou.
Me:
*laughs*r
eal
l
ynow?
Xavi
er:
can'
tyoutal
ktoy
ourbr
other
sandy
ou
comebackearl
y?
Me:thewayt
hingsar
egoi
ngImi
ghtcomeback
ear
ly.
Xav
ier
:what
'sgoi
ngon?

Shit
!Iforgothowcr
azyhei
s.Hemi ghtev
enfl
y
overherewhenhelear
nsIwentcrazyand
al
mostst abbedmymother
.Ineverwanttobe
t
hatangr
yagai
n.

Xav
ier
:lel
ona.
Me:
not
hingbi
g..
.
Xav
ier
:whathappened?
Me:
Ial
mostst
abbedmymom.
Xav
ier
:what
!?
Me:
Iwasangr
yandIr
eal
l
yregr
eti
t.
Xavi
er:
youneedmet
her
e?Thi
sisget
ti
ngout
ofcont
rol
.
Me:
no!Iwi
l
lbef
ine,
baby
.Ipr
omi
se.
Xav
ier
:you'
resur
e?
Me:
yes.Nowst
opwor
ryi
ng.
~~
Aft
erthecall
.Iwasgetti
nghungrysoIwalked
tot
hekitchenbutIcouldst
il
lheart
hem
l
ectur
ingmom.Idi dn'
twanttoappearj
ustyet
,
soIli
stenedt
othem speaki
ngwi
thoutt
hem
knowingIwasther
e.

Mull
er:dadtal
kedwi t
hy ouaboutthi
s.You
knowhermot herisdead,youagreedtonot
tr
eatheranydiff
erent
.

Wer
etheyt
alki
ngaboutme?

Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
[
02/
17,
16:
46]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT24
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Il
ookedatt
hem hur
tthatasecr
etl
i
ket
hiswas
bei
ngkeptf
rom methiswhol
eti
me.

Me:
akango'
mamawam?(
She'
snotmymot
her
?)
Ki
ng:
Lel
ona,
that
'snotwhatwe'
resay
ing.
..
Me:donotl
i
etome!*
shout
s*t
hatexpl
ainswhy
shehat
esmesomuch.
Mul
l
er:sheisy
ourmother.Sher
aisedy
ou,
t
her
eforeshei
syourmother.
Me:
Iwantt
hef
ull
stor
y.
Mul
l
er:
whendadget
sback.
Me:Iwantitnow!Ialr
eadyknowthebigsecr
et,
youmightaswelltel
lmetheful
ldetai
l
s.

Iwant
edt
ocr
ybutt
ear
swer
ejustnotcomi
ng
out
.Iwasmoreangryt
hansad,
allmylif
eIwas
l
edtobel
iev
ethewomanwhoi l
ltr
eatedmewas
mymotherbutal
lal
ongshewasn'
t.

Ki
ng:
let
'
sgosi
tdown.
Mama: hambaninayeandinal
oixeshalezont
o
mna.(Gowithher,Idon'
thaveti
mef orthose
t
hings)

Iwasbr eat
hinghardwi thangerbecauseshe
sti
ll
treatsmebadl yshedoesn' tev
encarethatI
j
ustfoundoutsomet hingthatcoul
dchangemy
l
ifeforever
.Mybrot hersandIsatinthelounge.
She,thedevilmother,conti
nuedprepari
ng
supperforus.

Me:
whati
sgoi
ngon?
Mul
l
er:
you'
reourhal
f-
sist
er.
Me:
soi
'
mthebast
ardchi
l
d?
Ki
ng:
no.
Me:
Idon'
tunder
stand.Il
ooksomuchl
i
keher
.

Shewalkedi
ntheloungel
ooki
ngsadasever,
I
noti
cedshehast
inytear
s.Shewashol
ding
back.

Mama:ufananay
e,notmna(
youl
ookl
i
keher
,
notme)
Me:
Idon'
tunder
stand.
Mama: utat
awenuwebongowenzai si
qibo
sojolanewel el
am wenawabay impumo
yelonyala(yourpr
eciousfatherdeci
dedtohave
anaf fai
rwithmyt winsist
erandy ouwerethe
resultofthatbetr
ayal)
Me:
that
'swhywe'
real
i
ke.
Mama:
asi
fani
tuu,
uthambi
l
enj
engay
e.
Ndazamandl el
azonkeubengowam uf anenam,
kodwai ny
anf unekait
hethwaawusoze
ubengowam-( we'r
enothi
ngali
ke,
y ou'
resoft
j
ustli
keher .Itri
edeveryt
hingf
oryoutobemi ne
tobelikemebutt het
ruthmustbet ol
dy ouwi
ll
neverbemi ne)
Mul
l
er:
mama!
.
.
-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Il
aidonthedoctor
'sbedf eel
i
ngdefeat ed.Ikept
vomit
ingandnotfeel
inggood,atf i
rstIthought
i
twast heal
coholbutthenitwentonf orday s.
SonowI '
minthedoctor'soff
ice.
Doc:well
theresul
tsar
einandi
tiswhatI
expect
editt
obe.
Me:
whati
sthat
?
Doct
or:youar
epr
egnant
.Congr
atul
ati
ons
*smi
les*
Me:
what
?!

Whathesai dnextIcoul
dnotev enli
stento.I
keptrepl
ayi
ngthewor ds"youar epregnant"
fuck!Iam onl
ydoingmyf irstyearinvarsi
ty.
Patri
ckneedstogivememoneyf oranabor t
ion.
Ican'
thaveababy ,Iam st
il
l ababy.

Me:doctor
!Idon'
tcar
eaboutany
thi
ngel
se.I
wanttoabort
.
Doc:comeback, nextweek.Youneedtor et
hink
thi
s.Ababyisabl essi
ng,i
tbri
ngsloveback
i
ntoar el
ati
onshipandevenifyoudonothav e
anyoneyouwillalwayshaveyourchi
l
d'slove.
~~
Iarr
ivedhomewi thasadf ace.Noonewi llwant
mewhenIhav eababy .Ievenwantedmor e
sugardaddiesbutnowt heywon'tevenlookmy
way.Imi ssKhanyi
,rightnowshewoul d'v
et ol
d
mewhatt odo.Ical
l
edZeeev enthoughIdon't
l
ikeher,Ineedsomegi rladvi
ceri
ghtnow.

Zee:
chommi
e(f
ri
end)
Me:
Ihav
eabi
gpr
obl
em.
Zee:
tal
ktome,
babe.
Me:
Iam pr
egnant
.*cr
ies*
Zee:
what
!?How?
Me:
Isl
eptwi
thsomeone,
idi
ot.
Zee:Iknowhow,buthowcoul
dyoubeso
stupi
d?Youthi
nkRell
ikwi
ll
wantsomeonewi
th
somebaggage?
Me:
Ineedt
oabor
tthebabyf
ast
.Theonl
ybaby
Iwi
l
lkeepi
shi
s.
Zee:
that
'sr
ight
!
Me:
duhh
Zee:
Ihav
eapl
an,
fool
.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Zee:
Ireadbabi
esbr
ingcoupl
escl
oser
.
Me:
sowhat
?
Zee:
pint
hebabyonRel
l
ik?
Me:Idi
dn'
tevengetachancet
osl
eepwi
thhi
m.
Thi
sisadi
saster
.
Zee:heisgoingoutt
onightIt
hink,
Isawiton
Cardo'
sstatussomethi
ngaboutaspinni
ng
show.Wewi llbet
here,
drughim.Driv
ehi
mt o
yourpl
ace,getthej
obdone.
Me:Ican'
tsl
eepwi
thhi
m dr
ugged,
wil
lhi
sthi
ng
ev
enstand?
Zee:wow,you'
redumbert
hani t
hought.You
wil
ltakepi
ctur
esofyouguysbothnaked.He
won'
tknowyoudi
dn'
tsl
eepwi
thhi
m,y
ouwi
l
l
pi
nthebabyonhi
m.
Me:
hewi
l
lki
l
lme.
Zee:y
ouwil
ltel
lhi
mify
ougethur
tthepi
ctur
es
wil
ll
eak.
Me:Iwil
lbet
heoneembar
rassed!Bei
nga
por
nstarf
oraman.
Zee:
theywon'tleak,bit
ch!*annoy ed*youthink
hewouldjeopar
di sehisrel
ationshipwithLona
l
iket
hat?Hewi l
l star
ttreat
ingy oulikeagolden
eyej
ustforthenewsnott oleak.
Me:thati
sagr
eati
dea!Letmel
ookf
oran
out
fi
t.
Zee:
andIwil
lgetacarf
orus.Let
'
shopet
his
pl
anworks.
Me:
met
oo,t
hankszee.

Webot
hhungup.Iam st
art
ingt
othi
nkIwi
l
l
l
ikethisZee.Isear chedmydr awersf oran
outfi
tandIf oundabl ackcr opt opwi thsome
shortski
rtthatwashi gh-wai stedandsome
blackheels.Itiedmyhai rupandi twascur l
yin
mypony tail
.Iappl iedmakeupandst arted
prepari
ngf orthemessIam aboutt ocr eat
e.I
l
ookedar oundt hehousef ort hedr ugsIwi ll
need.Ismi l
edwhenIf i
nallyf oundt hem.Lelona
i
snotgoi ngt ost ayafterthis, Iknowhowweak
sheis.Andbecauseoft hat, Iwi l
lal
way shav e
theupperhandt hanher.
.
.
-
-ISI
PHO'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Il
ookedatthem goingt
oherr oom tocomf or
t
herl
ikesomeonewasdy ing.Lelonashouldbe
grat
eful
Ididn'
tki
llherl
i
keIki l
l
edt hatbi
tchI
call
edasi ster.Sisiphowasal way smor e
popularthanmeev enwhenwewer eidenti
cal
twins,peopl epr eferredhert hanmebecauseI
wasal way ssomean.Iwashappywhenher
crushappr oachedi nbackwhenwewer e
younger ,buti tseemedast houghhewast rying
togethert hroughme.If eltbet rayedandangr y
,
that'
swhent hehat redIf eltforherst artedt o
getcreated.Ast i
mewentby ,inourv arsit
y
yearsIhadaboy fri
endwhom i smyhusband
now.Myhusbandal sot ookal ikingtomyt wi n,
andIj ustlosti twhenhet oldmet hebabyshe
wascar ryingwashi s.Iplannedf orhertoget
robbedandshott odeat hi nhersmal lhouse.I
knowIwaswr ongf orkill
i
ngherbutt heanger
i
nsideofmer eall
ydi dnotcar e.Iwas
heartbrokenwhenIl earnedt hebabysur vived
theshotandmur deri nhermot her'sstomach.
Wej ustgotacal lsay i
ngmysi sterisdeadand
thebabywasi nthehospi t
al.I twasshocki ngt o
myhusbandbutnott ome.Whatwasshocki ng
tomewhatt hatherbodywassai dt obedead
butInev ersawherdeadbody .Inev erreall
y
caredabouti tbecausedeepi nsi
deIdi dfeelli
ke
shewasdead.Whatmyhusbandaskedmet o
do18y earsagowasahar dchallengeforme.
Tor ai
set hechildthatcamef r
om y our
husband' sinfi
deli
tywit
hy oursi
ster!Icouldn'
t
treatLonat hesame, Ij
ustcouldn'tbecauseshe
hadal lthequalit
iesshehad.Thesmi l
eand
funnyper sonali
typeoplel
ov edsomuch.

Ki
ng:
mama.
Me:
khandi
yekeYanga(
leav
emeal
oney
anga)
Ki
ng:umsul
wakuy
oyonkel
ent
o(she'
sinnocent
i
nall
ofthi
s)
Me: qhoxandimjonga,ndikhumbulal
atl
ungu
ndayivangokuuyihl
oway exokangobusuku
ephumakodwaul alanodadewet hu.(
everyt
ime
Ilookather,Ir
emembert hepainIfel
twhen
yourfatherl
i
edaboutnightoutsonlytobe
sl
eepi
ngwi
thmysi
ster)
King:okay ,ndiyayi
qondaut ataeber ongo
ngokuthi khuli
saumnt anaingat hingowakho
abeey azi i
ntl
unguezay i
zi
sa.Kodwawena
umhlukumezaakuzol ungisani x.Ixesha
ali
zobuy ela.( okay,Iunderstanddadwas
wrongf orsay ingyoushoul dr aiset hechil
dlike
yourownknowi ngthepai nthati tmi ghtbr
ing.
Butyouabusi ngherl i
kethiswon' tfixanyt
hing.
Timewon' tgoback. )
Me:ndi
yayazi,kodwandi
cel
aintoey
1(Iknow
butIam onl
yaskingf
oronethi
ng(
Ki
ng:
yint
oni
ley
o?(whati
sit
?)
Me:andif
uni
abel aphandiniwekukhul
i
sa
umntanakaSisiphomna.( Idon'
twantherher
e
Iam t
ir
edofraisingSisi
pho'schi
ld.
)
Ki
ng:mamauyagul
a!?Uzoy
aphi?(mom ar
eyou
cr
azy
!?Wher
eisshegoingtogo?)
Mama:
andi
khat
hel
elangamakahambe(
Idon'
t
car
eIwanthergone)
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Iwascr yi
ngi nmybedandMul l
erwasj ust
tryi
ngtocomf ortme.Iwant edt ogett hehel l
outofher e.Ifeell
ikeev eryt
hi ngisabi gf atlie
here.Howcoul dInotr eali
zet hi
s!?Thi siswhy
shehat edmesomuchbecauseIr emi ndherso
muchofherhusband' sbetray al
.If eel asli
ght
badbecauseshei sast r
ongwoman.Tor aise
thechil
dwhowi l
lremindy oueachdayoft he
ti
mest oy ourhusbandcheat edony ouwi ll
y our
sist
er.Notj ustanysister.At win!Iwoul dgo
crazytoo,butt omyhusbandnott heinnocent
chil
dwhoneveraskedf
orany
thing.BecauseI
didnotf
orcemydadandhersistert
ohavesex
noranaff
air
.

Me:
Iwantt
ogobackt
oCapeTown.
Mull
er:
Idon'
twantyoutogobecauseshe'
s
f
orci
ngy out
ogo.Don'
tl
etpeoplecont
roly
ou
l
iket
hat.
Me:
whatshoul
dIdo?Stay
!?Cl
earl
yshehates
me,
Icannotbel
iev
eyouguyskeptt
hisf
rom
me.
Mul
l
er:
youwer
etooy
oungt
ounder
stand.
Me:
youshoul
d'
vet
oldmeassoonasIwas16!
Muller
:youareav ul
nerabl
eandweakchil
d.
Youbeingsensit
ive,wewer eaf
rai
dabigsecr
et
l
ikethi
swoul dbreakyou.Youreact
edbett
er
thanwet hought
.
Me:
nextt
ime,
tel
lme.HowIwi
l
lreactwi
l
lbeup
t
ome!
Thatwasthel
amestexcuseofnott
ell
i
ngme,
butIdeci
dednott
opressonitt
oomuch.
~~
Icouldnotsl eepatal l,
thet imewas8: 43pm
andIwant edt ocal lXavier,buthedidn'tanswer
hisphone.Iwentr oWhat sAppandt hest atus
onCar do'sst atusest oldmeXav i
erwasr eally
busy.Hel ookedl i
kehewasi napartyhol dinga
cup,i
twasagr oupphot obutIwasonl y
concentratingonmyboy fri
endwhoi sn't
answer i
nghi sphonebuthei sbusywi t
hpar ti
es.
Icannotbeangr ybecausehei saman, he
deservest ohav efun,butIwant edtot alkt ohim
abouthowcr azymyl i
feis,andhedeci dest o
notanswert hephone! ?That '
sfuckedup.
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Scr
appy:
thi
slaai
ti
ehasbeenwhi
ppedev
er
si
ncehehasbeenwit
hher.
Me:
hoej
oubek!(
Shutup)
Cardo:
theyarebot
hwhipped.Lonaisannoyi
ng
thehel
loutofmewitht
hoselovestatues.
Me:l
oosmymei
sieal
l
een.(
Leav
emygi
rl
al
one)

Thegentsstartedlaughing.Wewer ehanging
out,i
nthespinningshow.I twasj ustme,
Scrappy,
Cardo, JR,OG,Shoot erandWi z.They
weretal
kingaboutmebei ngwhi ppedbecause
ofLona.Idon'tevenwantt olie,
butIdon' twant
toadmititei
ther.Afterawhilethef unstart
ed
andIwasget ti
ngverydrunk.Meandt hegent
s
werereal
lyenjoyi
ngourselves.IsawKayl
aand
herfr
iendZikhonaandinstantl
yIwasannoyed.

Wiz:
nasi
s'
fi
j
osi
kaScr
appy(
her
e'sScr
appy
's
hoe)

Theycamet ousandIwast oodr

unktoev en
payatt
enti
ontothem.Zi khonasmil
edfir
st
whil
eKaylawaseye-fuckingme.Igotannoyed
andconti
nuedtal
kingwit hOG.

OG:ingathi
lemedii
bekewena*chuckl
es*
(
looksliket
hegir
lischecki
ngy
ouout )
Me:
Idon'
tcar
eabouther
.
.
.
-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Hel ookedsohotwear ingabl ackt -shi
rtwith
blue&y ell
owsweat pantsandsomesneaker s.
Hel ookedsosexyIwant edtof uckhi mr i
ght
there!Iwasn'tevenpayinganyat tent i
ont o
Scrappybecausehesai dhedi dn'tanythingto
dowi thmesoIwantnot hi
ngmor et odowi th
him.Af t
ergreeti
ngtheguy s,
meandZi khona
walkedaf arawayf r
om t hem.

Me:Ibr
oughteyedropsmedici
ne,
Iheardit
makespeoplesl
eepy.Andi
twil
lworkfast
.He
i
salr
eadydrunk.
Zee:
okay,l
et'
sdothis.Iwi
l
lmixupadr
inkwi
th
adashofashotthenyouwil
laddt
heey
edrops
andgiv
eitt
ohim.
Me:
hewi
l
lnev
ert
akei
t.
Zee:
Iwi
l
laskt
otal
ktohi
m andy
ouwi
l
lcome
aski
ngforanyt
hingfr
om methanmakesmal
l
tal
kandgivehi
mt hedri
nk!
Me:
okaycool
.

Isawhersway i
ngherhi pst owar dst heguy s'
cars.Theymadet heirownci r
clewi t hthei
rcars.
Shest oodnextt ohim andwhi sper edinhi sear
si
ncet hecarswer etool oud.Hegotupandshe
heldhi shandandwal kedwi thher .Theboy s
startedlaughingandhy pinghim up.Lonawi l
l
nev erbeablet ocont rol him,heisamanwhor e.
Hedi dnotev ent hinkaboutherhej ustheldher
hand.Iqui ckl
yt ookpl ent yofpicturesoft hem
andIwat chedthem t alkt henIslowl ywalked
overt othem.Imadesur eIhad3cupssohe
doesn'tsuspectany t
hi ngwhenj ustgi vehimt he
drink

Me:Zeewher
e'st
hephone?Ineedt
ocal
lour
t
ranspor
t.
Shegavemet hephone,Igav
ehert
hecupandI
off
eredRell
i
kthedruggeddri
nki
nacup.He
j
ustlookedati
tandlookedatme.

Me:l
ook, Iam nottr
yinganyt
hing.Ir
especty
our
r
elat
ionshipswithothergi
rl
-
Rel
l
ik:
oner
elat
ionshi
pwi
thLona.Onl
yher
.

Iwasshockedt hatt
heyarealreadydati
ng!I
thoughttheywerefr
iendsandnotsomet hi
ng
mor e.Myheartwasbrokenthat,thatbi
tchhas
him befor
eme.ButIdon'tcare,Icantakehim.

Me:Iwon'tt
ryanyt
hing,Ir
especty
our
r
elat
ionshi
pwithLel
ona.

Henoddedandt
ookt
hecup,
hecoul
dn'
tev
en
standpr
oper
lyt
hatmuchbuthest
il
ltookt
he
cup.

Zee:
Igotsomeweedint
hecarwecamewi
th.
Wecantal
kproper
lyt
her
e.
Me:
whatar
eyouguy
stal
ki
ngabout
?
Zee:myfl
ingi
sagangmemberinj
ailandhe
mighthav
eandproposi
ti
onf
orRel
l
ik.Itwi
l
l
makemoneyforhim.
Rel
l
ik:
azi
she(
let
'sgo.
)

Wewentt othet ransportandhedi dn'teven

not i
ceIdidn'tev encal l
thetransport.Wewent
tot hecar, i
twasoneofZee' sf l
ings.Relli
kwas
drinkinghiscup, andwhenwewer einside,Zee
startedsmoki ngthej oi
nt.Ismi l
edlookingat
him dr i
nkinghi sdrinkgetti
ngv erydrunkandt he
weedwi llfi
nishhi m off
.Shepassedt hejointt
o
me, Ipuff
edt wicet henpassedi ttohim.He
coul
dn'
tevenpuf
fproperl
yhewasveryt
ir
ed.I
smil
edashepassedittoZee,
theni
twasli
ght
s
outf
orhim.

Zee:
Iwi
l
lcal
lMzo.Wewi
l
lneedhi
m*chuckl
es*

Mzowast het ransportguy,andIcoul

dn'tstop
ki
ssingRel li
kev enthoughhewassl eepi
ngand
notkissingmeback.Hi slipsweresoft
,Ijust
wishhewoul dki ssmeback.MzoandZee
cameback, andIhadt ocoverRel
li
k'
sfacewi t
h
someshadesbecausei fMzosawwhoi twas
hewoul dn'twantt ohelpus.Almosteveryoneis
scaredofRel li
khewoul d'
vebeenshitscared.

Mzo:
kuy
ini
lokhu?(
Whati
sthi
s?)
Me:j
ustoneofmyfl
ingsIsawher
e.Iam t
aki
ng
hi
m backtomypl
ace.
Mzo:
ungangi
faki
eki
ngeni
(don'
tputmei
n
t
roubl
e)
Me:
nev
er.Let
'sj
ustgo.

Hedr oveofftomyapar tmentfast.Whenwe

gotthere,
Zeehel pedmegetRel li
kinmy
apartment.Itwasv er
yhardandMzodr oveoff
wit
houtev enhelpingus.Ir
oll
edmyey es
thi
nkingabouthowmuchofapussyhei s.We
l
aidhim onmybedandIsmi l
edather .Thepl
an
actuall
yworked.

Zee:
let
'sgethi
m nakedIwi
l
lchar
gemyphone
i
nthemeantime.

Igri
nnednodding,Ist
art
edbytaki
ngoffhi
st -
shir
t,anddamnwasIi naweathowbeautiful
he
l
ooked.Thetattoosandbodyj
ustsentmeov er
theedge.ZeecamebackandIr emovedhis
pantsandboxers.Ibi
tmyli
plookingathi
sdick.
Zee:
damn.You'
rel
uckybi
tch!
Me:
Iknow*
smi
rks*

Itookoffmycl
othesandIwasnakedtoo.Zee
tookoffhi
ssneaker
sandtookacondom from
mydr awer
.Il
ookedatherwei
rdl
y.

Zee: Ihavesomespermsi nabot t

leinsi
demy
purse, wewill
stret
chthecondom wi t
hhisdick
thenpourt hespermsin.Aft
erthat,wetake
pictures.i
twillmakehimthinkyouguy sreal
ly
slepttogether
.

Il
aughedhappil
yathowsmar tsheis!Thenwe
di
dwhatshesaidt henshethr
ewt hedirt
y
condom onthefl
oorsoitcanbethef i
rstthi
ng
heseeswhenhewakesup.Igotont opofhi m
andmadei tl
ookli
keIwasr i
dinghim andshe
t
ookt
hepi
ctur
es.

Zee:
hel
ooksdr
ugged.Hi
dehi
sfacebyki
ssi
ng
hi
m.
Me:okay,andIneedtot
akesel
fi
epi
ctur
essoi
t
doesn'
tl
ookplanned.
Zee:
her
e'st
hephone.

Itookitandtookpi
ctur
esofuski
ssi
ng,wel
lme
kissi
nghim.Andmecuddlingwi
thhi
m.Ilai
don
him andplacedhi
shandsonmyassthenItook
thepictur
esofit
.

Zee:okay
,nowsendthepi
ctur
esanddon' tt
ell
hi
my ouhavesentt
hem t
ome.Sl eep,cuddl
i
ng
wit
hhim andt
heplanwil
lworkit
selfout.

Ismi
l
edandgotupt
ohugher
.
Me:
thanky
ou,
Zee.
.
.
.
.
.
.
out
fi
tst
heywor
e
[
02/
17,
16:
46]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
I
NSERT25
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwokeupwi t
hthemostpainfulheadacheever.
Fuck!Ihatehungover.Il
ookedar oundandI
didn'
trecogni
zetheti
nyroom.Il ookedatthe
girl
cuddli
ngonmychest ,andIwasangr yas
fuckwhenIsawi twasKay l
a!Ipushedheroff
sohard,shewokeupal mostfall
ingoffthebed.

Me:
whatt
hef
ucki
sgoi
ngon!
?
Kay
la:
Ithi
nky
ou'
resmar
tert
hant
hat
.*smi
rks*
Me:
Iwi
l
lfucki
ng-
Kayl
a:kil
lme?* chuckl
es*andri
skLonaseei
ng
ourbeauti
ful
picturesontheamazi
ngsexwe
had.
Me:ifsheev
erhearsaboutt
hisIwi
l
lbr
eaky
our
neckwithmyhands!
Irushedtost
rangl
eher,butshequickl
yranout
oftheroom.Shelockedthedoorquickl
yand
shestart
edshouti
ngont heothersi
deofthe
door.

Kayla:
Isentthephot
ostoalotofpeopleandif
somethinghappenst
ome.Thepi ctur
eswil
l
reachLona.SoIwouldbecar
efulifIwer
ey ou.

I
nmyangerIhi tthedoor ,Ihear dhersqueal i
n
fear.WhythefuckwasIsost upi d!
?Ilookedat
theusedcondom andIwasabi trel
ievedwe
usedacondom.Ist art
edwear ingmycl ot
hes,
disappoi
ntedthatIwoul dgetsl oppydr unktoa
pointwhereIwoul dfuckKay la,theper sonthat
hatesmegi rl
fr
iendsomuch.Ihav egivenhera
reasontohurtLona.Kay lawal kedi n,shepicked
upt hecondom andsmi led.
Kay
la:oneroundwit
hthecondom t
hent
herest
wasraw,IknewIli
kedyouforar
easonRel
l
ik.

Shetri
edtokissme,Isl
appedhersohar
dshe
l
andedont hefl
oor
,Iwasabouttoki
ckheron
herback.

Kayal
:st
op!Orel
seLonawon'
tev
ert
alkt
oyou
agai
n.

Isear
chedformyphoneandstormedoutt he
houseinanger
.Il
ookedatLona'smissedcal
l
andguil
tatemeup.Ical
l
edScr appytocome
getme.

Scr
appy
:nj
ayegame.
Me:
comegetmeaty
ourwhor
e'sapar
tment
.
Scr
appy:
what
?
Me:
Kay
la.

IhungupbecauseIwasn'tint
hemoodfor
questi
ons.After45minut
esofmeimpati
entl
y
wait
ingther
e,hefinal
l
ycame.Igoti
nthecari
n
anger.

Me:
whatt
hef
uckt
ooky
ousol
ong!
?
Scr
appy
:yo,Idi
dn'
ttel
lyout
ofuckher
.
Me:
Ifuckedherr
awaf
terr
ound1*
sighs*f
uck!
Scr
appy:
let
'sgogety
ourcart
henwecant
hink
ofapl
anlat
er.

Wedrovetothespotandmycarwasst il
lthere
unt
ouched.Maybebecausethenumberplate
waswrit
ten"RELLI
K"andeveryoneknewnott o
messwithme, mycarhasatrackerany
way .
Me:
let
'smeeti
nmyhouse.
Scr
appy
:fede(
shar
p)

Wer acedtomyhouse, andhewonbecausehe

wasi nfr
ontofme.Whenwegoti nmydr iveway
hegotoutfirstandIfol
lowed.I
nsidethehouse,
therewasnooneandt hatmadememi ssLona.
FuckIshouldn'thav
eev enwenttothatstupi
d
spinni
ngshit.

Scr
appy
:nowexpl
aint
omewhathappened?
Me:Igotsl
oppydrunk,
start
edsmoki ngweed
wit
hthem andthat
'swhenli
ghtswereoutI
don'
tevenrememberanythi
ngelse.Appar
entl
y
wehadsexandaf t
eroneroundIhititr
aw,br
o
Scr
appy
:shi
t.You'
rei
ndeepshi
t.
Me:
Iknow.
Scr
appy
:ki
l
lher
.
Me:i
fsomet
hinghappenst
oher
,thepi
ctur
es
wi
ll
gotoLona.
Scr
appy
:she'
ssmar
tert
hanshel
ooks.
Me:Ican'
thav
eherr
uini
ngmyr
elat
ionshi
pwi
th
Lona.
Scr
appy
:Iwil
ltr
yandmani
pul
ateheri
ntot
ell
i
ng
mewhatshewants.
Me:
thanksman.

Iwalkedhi m outandIwentt omybat hroom to

shower .ThenIwor ewhi
tet-shi
rtwithli
ght
brownsweat pants.Iwor
emyGucci sl
ides.I
decidedt omanupandcal lLona.Shedi dn't
answeratf ir
st,andmyhear tstart
edbeat ing
fastbecauseIwaswor ri
edt hatsheknows
alr
eadyandi ttookmeamont htogether .I
can'tloseherthateasil
y.Icall
edheragai n
worriedthatmay besomethi
ngmi ghthav e
happenedt oher .Shefi
nall
yanswer edaf termy
3r
dtr
y

Lona:
yes?
Me:watgaanaan?Hoekom hetj
yni
ejouphone
beant
woordnie?(
What'sgoi
ngon?Whyweren'
t
youanswer
ingyourphone?)
Lona:
Iwasbusy
.Wher
ehav
eyoubeen?
Me:besi
gmetwat
?Isj
yOK?(
Busywi
thwhat
?
Ar
ey ouokay
?)
Lona:Iam okay
.Ij
ustf
oundoutsomet
hingbi
g
though.
Me:
what
?
Lona:
mymom i
sn'
treal
l
ymymom.
Me:
wai
twhat
?
Lona:shehasatwinandthet
wini
smyr
eal
mother,butshei
sdead.
Me:
what
!?
That
'swhenev er
ythi
ngcameback.Ihavet
o
cal
lFif
itosetupameeting,Ineedt
otal
ktothi
s
twi
n.Befor
eIletLonameetherIneedtomake
sur
ehermot i
vesareokay.

Lona:yeahIknow,i
t'
scr
azy.ButIam r
eturni
ng
backhomet omorr
ow.Idon'tev
enwantt ostay
i
nt hi
shouse.
Me:
soy
ou'
recomi
ngback?
Lona:
yes,
isn'
tthatwhaty
ouwant
ed?
Me:iti
s,andiam v
eryhappy
.Can'
twai
ttosee
youbeauti
ful
.
Lona:
seey
out
hen,
Ihav
etopack.
Me:
okay
,by
e.
Lona:
bye.

Ismi
l
eddr
oppi
ngt
hecal
l
.Shesentmeasel
fi
e
ofherlooki
ngeversobeaut
iful
.Ibitmylip
wishi
ngshewasnextt omesoIcanki ssthe
fuckoutofher
.Itext
edherrepl
yingtothesel
fi
e.

Me:damn! t
het
hingsI
woul
ddoifyouwer
enear
.

IthadoneticksoIknewshewasof fline.I
postedherselfi
ewi t
hthecapti
on."wi fe. "
andIknewt hehoeswouldstartcr
yingabout
whoshei s,soIturnedoffmymobi l
edat a.I
l
ookedf ormyRangeRov erkey
sanddr ov et
o
myuncl e'
shouse.WhenIwast her
e, he
answeredthedoorshocki ngmebecause
usuall
yFifianswers.

me:
ekmoetmett
anni
eFi
fipr
aat
.(Ineedt
otal
k
t
oauntFi
fi
)
Ghost
:watgaanaan?(
What
'sgoi
ngon?
)
Me: ni
ksgr
ootnie.Ekwi
lmeerweetoorSi
sipho.
(Nothi
ngmajor
.Iwanttoknowmoreabout
Sisi
pho)
Ghost
:syi
sinonskamer(
shei
sinourr
oom)

wewal kedtogethert
her e,andIsawauntFifi
l
ookingv er
ysickont hebed.Iwaswor ri
ed
becausesheisnev erthesi ckt
ype.Sheusual
ly
fal
lssi
ckl i
keonceay ear.

Me:
arey
ouokay
?*wor
ri
ed*
Fi
fi
:yes*
smi
l
es*Iwi
l
lbef
inej
ustami
norf
lu.

Icoul
dsenseshewasly
ingbecauseshel
ooked
atGhostandt
heybot
hhadsadf acesont
hem.

Me:Iknowyou'
rel
yi
ngbutitwon'tpr
essoni
t.I
needtoknowmoreaboutSi
sipho.
Fi
fi
:why
?
Me: Ijustf
oundoutsheisLona'smotherand
everyoneinthatf
amil
ythinksshe'
sdead.But
she'snotdead,Isawhertheotherdayi
nt he
yard.
Fi
fi
:she'scomingov
erforl
unchtomorr
ow.
That
'stheonlyti
meshehaslef
tinCapeTown.
Me:
wher
edoesshel
i
ve?
Fi
fi
:shel
i
vesi
nLondonper
manent
ly.
Me:
inLondon?Whatwasshedoi
ngher
ethen?
Fi
fi:shewasher
eonabusi
nesstr
ip.Andshe
missedmesoshecametovisi
tme.Nothi
ng
spectacul
ar.
Me:
Iwi
l
lbet
her
efort
hel
uncht
omor
row.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
IpackedmybelongingsbecauseIwant edto
getthehel
loutofher e.Iknowshewantsme
outsoIwil
lgrantherwi sh.Iknowmybr ot
hers
wil
lnotwantmet ogobutIam t i
redoffi
ghti
ng
backandfort
hwi t
ht heirmother.

Ki
ng:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:packi
ng.Iam l
eavingt
omorrow.Youcan'
t
st
opme, Ihaveal
readybookedmyfl
ight
.
Ki
ng:
wewanty
out
ost
ayt
hough.
Me:Idon'
twantto.Notaf
terIhear
dthatbi
tch
i
sn'
tmymot her
.
King:butsheismymot
herandy
oushoul
d
respecther.
Me:
sor
ry.
King:
maybeiti
sbestyougot
oCapeTownto
getsomebreakt
heninJuney
ouwil
lspendt
he
hol
iday
soverher
etomendi
ssueswi
thher
.Al
l
youneedi
stime.
Me:
yes.Thanky
ouf
orunder
standi
ng.
Ki
ng:
youl
eav
eatni
ghtorear
lyi
nthemor
ning?
Me:ear
lyi
nthemor
ningt
omor
row.Youwi
l
l
dr
ivemether
eri
ght
?
Ki
ng:yes.Mul
lermi
ghtbet
her
easwel
lorhe
wi
llbebusycomfor
ti
ngmom.
Me:
isshest
il
lcr
ying?

Iam t
heweakonebutshei
sst
il
lcr
ying?OK.

King:thi
sisahar dsi
tuat
ionforherandt
he
secretbeingexposedisopeningol
dwoundsf
or
her.
Me:
mhh.
Ki
ng:
*chuckl
es*whendi
dyougett
hismean?
Me:ev
ersi
nceIst
art
edhangi
ngoutwi
thXav
...
Car
do.

Iqui
ckl
ychangedmysent encebecauseIfor
got
Ihav
en'
ttol
dthem Iam hangingoutwit
hXav i
er.
Ihav
en'
teventol
dthem Iam dati
ngXav i
er.

Ki
ng:
what
?
Me:
eversi
nceIst
art
edhangi
ngoutwi
thCar
do.

HenoddedbutIf eltl
ikeheknewIwasl y
ingand
hewasn'tgoingt osaymuchabouti t.Heleftmy
room wit
houtsay ingawor dandIwasso
scaredIfeell
ikeIam bust ed!Ipackedmyst uf
f
quickl
yandpacedupanddownt her oom
thi
nkingofalietosaywhent heyaskmeabout
i
t.Myphoner ang,andi twasXavier.Hemust
missmet ocallmet wiceadayandi thasn'
t
evenbeen3pm y et.
Me:
baby
?
Xav
ier
:youshoul
danswert
hephonel
i
ket
hatt
o
meeveryt
imeIcall
.
Me:
*chuckl
es*someonemi
ssesmeal
ot.
Xav
ier
:mor
ethany
oucani
magi
ne.
Me:Iwil
lbetherebef
orey
ouknowi
t.Myf
li
ght
i
sinthemorning.
Xav
ier
:Fi
fiwant
stohav
elunchwi
thy
ou.
Me:
real
l
y?*
exci
ted*can'
twai
t.
Xav
ier
:Iknowy
oucan'
t.Baby
?
Me:
mhhmhh?
Xav
ier
:Il
ovey
ou.
Me:
what
?

Iwasv er
yshocked.Wehaven'
tbeendat
ingf
or
thatl
ongandalreadyhesay
s"Ilov
eyou"maybe
i
t'
sbecauseofthedistanceormay behewas
sayi
ngittosomeoneel se?Isoundsostupi
d
becauseIcannotbeli
ev eaguylikeXav
ierr
eal
l
y
l
ovesagirll
ikeme.

Xavi
er:Iwantyout oknowIlovey ou,andI
wouldneverhurtyou,int
ent
ionall
y.Withoutyou,
Iwouldn'
tsurv
ive.Trustme.You'retherighti
n
al
lmywr ongs,l
osingy ouwil
lbelosingmyhear t
.
Iwouldn'
tbethesame.Iwoul dgobackt othe
monsterIwasbef oreyouwerethel i
ghtinthe
dar
knessthatconsumedmyl if
e.

RightnowIwasget
ti
ngemot i
onalandworri
ed
thathewasgoi
ngtodie.Heneverexpr
esses
hisemoti
onsandwhenhetoldmet hi
sitr
eall
y
touchedmyhear
t.

Me:
baby
,what
'sgoi
ngon?Ar
eyouokay
?
Pleasedon'
tdoany
thi
ngt
hatwi
l
lputy
ourl
i
feat
ri
sk.
Xav
ier
:ev
ery
thi
ngi
sokay
.
Me:
youpr
omi
se?

Hegotqui
et,
andbreat
hed.Iwasscaredt
hathe
wasi
ndanger.Myheartst
art
edbeati
ngfast
.

Me:
Xav
ier
,you'
rescar
ingme
Xav
ier
:Ipr
omi
se.Ev
ery
thi
ngi
sokay
.
Me:
Ihopeso
Xav
ier
:Ihav
etogonow,Iwi
l
lcal
lyouatni
ght
.
Me:
okay
,andZay
?
Xav
ier
:yeah?
Me:
you'
l
lnev
erl
oseme.Il
ovey
out
oo.
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*by
e.
Me:
bye.
Webot hhungupandIwi shedhewasnextt o
mesoIcoul dkisshim becauseIr eall
ydolove
him.Iknowf oraguylikehi mtol oseallhi
s
hoesforme, andtogosuchal ongt i
mewi t
hout
sexandgirl
s.Hei ssacri
f i
cingal otforme
becausealotofgirl
sar ewi l
li
ngt ojumpatt he
opport
unit
yt ohavehim, yethe...hechoseme!I
wipedmyt earsandsmi ledatmy selfi
nthe
mirr
or.

Me:
Iam i
nlov
e.
.
.
.
-
-KAYLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Zeesatont
hecouchandIsmil
edather
.Shei
s
ther
easonmypl
anisactual
l
yworki
ng!

Me:weneedt osendthepict
urest
oother
peopl
eincasehekil
l
st hebot
hofus.
Zee:
doesheknowhewasdr
ugged?
Me:Idon'
tthi
nkso,hethi
nkswer
eal
l
yhadsex
andaft
erthefi
rstr
oundwewentr
aw.
Zee:
aft
ery
oupint
hepregnancyonhi
m,whati
f
hewant
syout
oabort
?
Me:Ineedtogoawayforawhil
eandcome
backwhenIam 5monthspr
egnantanditwi
l
l
behardformetoabor
t.I
twil
lbeil
l
egal
.
Zee:sorr
ytobursty
ourbubbl
ebut
..
.hedoesn'
t
careaboutt
helaw.
Me:
shewi
l
l.Andwhenshecar
es.Hewi
l
lcar
e
t
oo.
Zee:
whataboutPat
ri
ck?
Me:Iwil
ltel
lhi
mtof
indanot
herbi
tch.Ial
ready
am setf
orli
fe.

Ismil
edr
ubbingmygr
owi
ngbabybump.Thi
s
babyi
sgoingtot
akemet
opl
aces.
~~
Itwast henextdayandaf t
ermymor ning
rout i
neIchangedi ntomypi nkcr opt opwi th
bluej eansandl i
ghtbrownf akenosl eevef ur.I
wor emyFent yPumawhi tesneaker s.Iflat
i
r onedmyweav esoitcanbest rai
ght .Ismi led
thinkingabouthowal lofthi
sisgoi ngi nmy
favour .Iatesomebr eakfastwhi l
escr oll
ing
throughmyWhat sApp.Mywhol emood
changedwhenIsawt hepicturehepost edof
her .Iroll
edmyey es,whenhecoul dhav eallof
this.Hest il
lwantsabor ingbitchli
keherwho
can' tevengoadaywi thoutcryingherugl yface
of f
.Shedoesn' tdeservehim, shedoesn' tev en
deserveli
febecauseshe' salwayscompl ains
abouthowi tdoesn'tgoi nherfavour.Lifei sn't
fai
randsheshoul dgetusedt oit.Meont he
otherhand,lif
ehasal way sbeenunf ai
rtome
andIdeserv ethisbreak!Imadeadeci siont o
dropoutofVar sityeventhoughIhav egood
gradesbutIknowi twil
lnottakemeany wher e.I
don'tevenli
ket hecourseIam in, andIfeel li
ke
Xavierwil
ltakecar eofme, andthebaby .In
angerItookmypur seandl ef
t.Thepostr eal l
y
rui
nedmymood.It ookascr eenshotandsenti t
toZee.

Me:t
hisbi
tchhashi
m whi
pped,
henev
erpost
s
hi
shoes.
Zee : don'
twor
ry,
aft
eral
loft
his.Hewi
l
lbe
your
s!

Ismil
edbecauseshealwayshadgoodwords.I
can'
tbel
i
eveIdidn'
tl
ikeheratfi
rst
,shei
sa
greatgirl
!Andanamazi ngfri
end.Ididn'
twant
totellherXav i
ermi ghtkil
lheraf t
erhefindsout
shehast hepictures.ForsafetypurposesIhav e
togett hephot ospr i
ntedoutsoIcant hreaten
him better.Imetupwi thParti
ckatTasha's.He
l
ookedpar anoidmeet ingupwi thmei npublic
becauseweal way smeeti nhot el
sormy
apartment .AfterIsatdown,hegl ar
edatme.I
smiled,Iam finall
ygoi ngtobef reefr
om this
uglyoldman!

Me:
It'
sov
er.
Pat
:what
?
Me:Ihavebett
ert
hingst
odonow,andIf
eel
l
ikeourdeali
spul
li
ngmedown.Soit'
sov
er.
Pat
:don'
tfuckwi
thme,
Kay
la.
Me:
goodby
e,Pat
ri
ck.

Ist
oodupandwal
kedawayf
rom hi
m,whenI
wasabi tf
arfrom him,Ismil
edandwhenIwas
abouttocall
anUber .Heappearedand
strangl
edme, hedidn'
tcar
eaboutafewpeopl
e
stari
ngatus.

Pat
:youl
eav
ewhenIsayy
oul
eav
e,st
upi
dbi
tch.

Il
ookedathi
minf
ear
,Inoddedqui
ckl
yjustso
hedoesn'
tki
l
lme.
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Ismi
l
edatmybabyl
ooki
ngf
lyasev
erwai
ti
ng
formeatt heai r
port.Hewaswear i
ngabl ackt -
shirtwithabl ackbomberbasebal lj
acketwi th
blackjeans, hehadonar oll
edupwool beanie
andbl acksneaker s.Ist oodtherejustadmi r
ing
myman, afterawhi lehenot i
cedmeandhad
thebestsmi leonhi sf ace.Ichuckledpul l
i
ngmy
twoheav ybagst owar dshim.Hel i
ckedhi slips,
andwhenIf inall
ycloset ohim,heki ssedme.
Hishandsl andedonmyass, i
twasn' tthe
pervertass- grabbingki ss.Hishandsj ustlai
d
therenotmov ingwhi lekissi
ngme, Ithinkhe
want edtoseehowmuchIt rustedhim.AndI
reall
ydid, butIwasn' treadyforsexy et.SoI
remov edhi shandssmoot hl
ybyhol di nghis
hands,andhepul l
edawayandpeckedmyl ips.

Xav
ier
:let
'
sgety
out
omyhouse.
Me:
Ineedt
ogethomef
ir
st,putmyl
uggage
t
her
e.
Xav
ier
:whydon'
tyoukeepy
ourbagsov
eratmy
house,
andwegot
oFi
fi
'sl
unchf
ir
st?
Me:Il
ookli
keamess,
andyouwantmet
ohav
e
l
unchwit
hherl
ooki
ngli
ket
his?
Xav
ier
:youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.*
pecksherl
i
ps*
Me:
can'
tIshoweragai
nandchangemyout
fi
t?
Xav
ier
:no,
youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
Me:
ofcour
sey
ouwoul
dthi
nkl
i
ket
hat*
laughs*
~~
Wear r
ivedinthei
rhouse,
Ican'tbel
iev
ehe
real
l
ydidn'tl
etmechange.Ithoughthewoul d
l
etmehav esomet i
mewithhimt oatleastl
ay
upwithhim andbeloveydoveybutIguessFifi
real
l
ywant edmet ocomeov erforl
unch.I
heardmusicplayi
ngoutsi
det hebackyard.

Me:it'
sapartyandy oul
etmecomeher e
l
ookingli
kethis!?Lookatal
lthosebeaut
if
ul
people,Xav
ier.You'
rebei
ngunfair
.
Xav
ier
:*chuckl
es*you'
reoverr
eacti
ng,
youl
ook
morebeauti
ful
thanthosepeople.
Me:
whati
supwi
thy
oubei
ngsosweett
oday
?
Xav
ier
:Imi
ssedy
ou,
youknowt
hat
.

Ismil
edandbrushedhischeek.Hel ooked
bett
ernow.Hewasr eal
lyrecoveri
ngf r
om the
att
ack.Heopenedt hedoorforme, andt he
l
unchtablehad3otherladi
esthere.Theyal l
l
ookedsophist
icat
edandher eIlookedlikeIjust
camefrom ahoodpartyandIdidn'ttakea
shower.

Xav
ier
:her
eshei
s.

Theyalltur
nedandl ookedatme,Isawa
womanwhol ookedexactlyl
ikeI
sipho.Ij
ustf
elt
di
zzy,andev erythi
ngbecamebl ur
rythenIwas
onthefloor.
.
.
.
.
.
Kay
la

SEASON2

[
02/
18,
07:
02]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT1
.
.
-
-MULLER'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Ifeltli
keev erythi
ngar oundmewasgoi ngin
slowmot i
on.Ihel dhisdeadbodywi shingallof
thiswasj ustnott rue.Icouldn'tfeel hi
spulse
atal l
.IknewhewasdeadandIcoul dn'
tblame
any onebutmy self.Il
efthim att hehospi t
al!I
shoul d'
vewentwi thhim.Iwasn' tagoodbi g
brother.Ijustlefthim.Ifel
tRellik'shandonme
butIdi dn'
tev encar etoremov eit.

Me:
hehast
opayf
ort
his.

Myst ar
ewasf ocusedonKing.Hisli
fel
essbody
keptbreakingmyhear tbutIcoul
dn'
tstop
star
ingandwi shinghewouldar i
seandgiveme
onelastlaugh.
Rel
l
k:hewi
l
l.Iwi
l
lbesur
eofi
t.
Me:hehastodi
ebyt oday
!Idon'
tcareev
eni
fI
di
einthepr
ocess.Iwanthi
m dead.
Rel
li
k:Ican'tletany
thi
nghappentoyoutoo.Al
l
oft
hiswillbreakLona.Shehastoret
urntoyou
bei
ngsafe-

Iwasn' tevenhear i
nghim anymor e.Ijust
staredatKi ng'sbody.Mywor l
discr umbl i
ng.I
nev erunderstoodwhypeopl ecriedbutnowI
under stand.Losingasibl
ingisthehar destthi
ng
ever .I'
m notaper sonthatcri
esal ot.Butt hi
s,
thisreallybreaksmyhear t.

Scr
appy:maybeweshoul
dmov
ethebodi
es
andst
artar
rangi
ngt
heplan

Inoddedandroughl
ywipedmyt ears.Ist
oodup,
andwipedthedir
toffmyjeans.I'
m goingto
avengemyl
i
ttl
ebr
otherev
eni
fit
'st
hel
astt
hing
Ido.

Me:
let
'sgett
owor
k.

Relli
klookedatmewor ried.AndIj
ustignored
him.IhelpedScrappymov ethebodiesinsi
de.
Afterall
thisbul
lshi
tI'
m goingtopl
ant hebest
funeralf
ormyl i
ttl
ebrother.

Scrappy:I'
l
lgetOGtouswi
ththebodi
es.The
funeral
wi l
lbeaft
ert
hewar
.Itwil
lbet
oomuch
i
fwedoi tnow.

Inoddedatwhathewassay i
ngbecausehe
wasabsolut
elyri
ght.WhenScrappywent
upstai
rst
ogethisphone.Rell
ikpull
edmeback
whenIwasgoi ngtogetsomewat er
.
Me:
yint
oni
ngoku?(
Whatnow?
)
Rel
li
k:Ithi
nkweshoul
dgety
out
othesaf
e
housetoo.
Me:
I'
m notachi
l
d-
Rel
li
k:Iknow buti
fwel
oseyout
oo.Lona
woul
dnotbeabl et
omakeit
.
Me:
she'
l
lhav
eyout
othecar
eofher
.

Helookedatme.Hewasn'thappyaboutmy
r
esponsethough.Heshoul
dbehappyI '
m
t
rusti
nghim wi
thmysister
'sl
if
ewhenI '
m dead

Rel
l
ik:
wecan'
tl
osey
out
oobr
ah.
Me:Rell
ikl
ist
en.Theymur deredmyonl y
brot
her.Iwanttobeapar tofhowev erweki
ll
hi
m.Iwanthi m dead,Idon'tcareifi
t'
spai
nful
andsloworifi
t'
saf astjob.Ijustwanthi
m
dead.

Scrappycamedownt hestair
swi t
hGhost .
Ghostlookedatthedeadbodi es.Heshookhi s
head.Hiswholehei stganggone.I '
mtheonl y
oneremaining.I'
m notev ensur eIwantt obea
gangsteraft
erlosingmyl it
tl
ebr other
.Thel i
fe
wechose, weknewsomedaywoul dki
llus.Just
notthi
ssoon.Ial soblameRel li
kbuthedi d
whathehadt odot oprotectLona.Ican't
bl
amehi mf orthat.

Ghost
:sor
ryf
ory
ourl
oss.

Webot hdidtheganghandshake.AndInodded
acknowledgi
ngwhathejustsaid.

Ghost
:di
dthegi
rl
sar
ri
vesaf
ely
?
Scr
appy
:yes.
Ghost
:hav
eyouboy
scameupwi
thapl
any
et?
Rel
l
ik:
yes.Wej
ustneedt
oexecut
eit
.
Ghost
:runi
tbyme.

Weal ll
ookedateachother
.Ghostshoul
dbe
rest
ingnotworry
ingaboutthepl
ans.Rel
li
k
should'
vemadesuretosendhimt othesaf
e
houseaswel l
.

Rel
li
k:we'
regoi
ngt
ogot
ohi
shouseandbomb
i
t.
Ghost
:bomb?
Scr
appy
:ja
Ghost
:ifhesur
viv
es?
Rel
l
ik:
hewon'
t
Ghost
:wheny
oumakeapl
anal
way
shav
eot
her
backups.Nowwhati
fhesur
viv
es?

Wealll
ookedateachIthinkbecausewedidn'
t
thi
nkofhi
m survi
vi
ngabomb.I t'
sv er
yrar
efor
peopl
etosurv
ivethose.

Me:it
'stheonl
yopti
onwehave.Wecan'
tget
cl
osertothehouseduet
oti
ghtsecur
it
y
Ghost:
killt
heguar
dsandhackt hesecuri
ty
syst
em.Thengeti nsi
de,ki
l
lhi
mt henburnthe
wholeplaceuptogetri
doftheevidence.
Scr
appy
:howwi
l
lweev
enki
l
lsomanyguar
ds?
Ghost
:Ihavesniperki
l
lerswhoar
emylong
ti
mefri
ends.They'r
ewill
i
ngtohel
pme.They
owemeaf avour
Rel
l
ik:
we'
l
lcont
actGav
inf
ort
hehacki
ng
Me:
I'
ll
gett
heexpl
osi
onmat
eri
als.
Ghost
:nowt
hisi
sasol
i
dpl
an.Thebackupi
s
wej
ustbombt
hepl
acej
ustl
i
key
ousai
d.
Rel
l
ik:
okay
,I'
m wi
thi
t.
Me:
met
oo-

IkeptquietwhenIsawawhi t
emanst
andingi
n
thedoorframeofthel
ivi
ngroom.Hel
ooked
veryshockedatthedeadbodies.

?
?:what!
?Weshoul
d-
Ghost
: okay,l
i
sten.GobacktoPar
is.Si
sipho
wentawayf orawhile.Youneedt
of or
geabout
al
lofthisandgo.

Hewasst i
llst
ari
ngatthebodi
es.Hel ooked
real
lyscar
ed.Auntier
eall
yfel
li
nloveand
marriedapunk.GhostnoddedtoScrappyand
themanwasshotdead.Iknewi twasgood
becausehewould'v
eratt
edusoutassoonas
hehadt
hechance.

Ghost
:henev
err
etur
nedf
rom t
own.That
'
sthe
st
ory.
Me:
I'
m wi
thi
t.

OGandt heotherscametotakethebodies.I
l
ookedatt het akeKi
ngandIhadglossyey es.
Mani twasn'tsupposedtoendli
kethis.How
am Ievengoi ngtosurv
ivewit
houttheperson
thatcouldmakemet hi
nkri
ghtwhenIcoul dn'
t
controlmyanger .

Rel
l
ik:
weneedt
ochopper
sASAP
Ghost
:wher
ear
eyougoi
ngt
oland?
Rel
l
ik:
EastLondon?
Ghost
:toomanyey
es
Rel
l
ik:
freewayj
ustaf
terMdant
sane?I
twas
al
way
squi
et.May
beatni
ghti
twi
l
lbebet
ter
.
Me:
that
'sagoodpl
an.
Scrappy:l
etmecallt
hechopperdudesandget
thi
sov eranddonewit
h.
.
.
.
-
-NELLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Iwokeupf rom mysl eepbecauseIhear d
peoplelaughing.Ilookedatthewi ndowandit
al
readylate.Ilookedattheclocknextt ome
anditwas18: 00pm.Igotupf r om t
hebed.I
needtowasht hesebedcov ers.Theyjustf
eel
sodirt
y.Theymust 'v
enotbeencl eanedina
l
ongt i
meIbr ushedmyt eet
hbecauseIhadan
ugl
yt ast
einmymout h.WhenIwal
kedoutand
wentdownstai
rs.IsawFifi
andtheot
herl
ady
smil
ing.

Fi
fi
:youmustbeScr
appy
'sgi
rl
fr
iend.
Me:
yes*
smi
l
es*
Fi
fi
:Ihopewedi
dn'
twakey
ouupwi
thournoi
se.
Me:
it'
sokay
.
Fi
fi
:thi
sismybestf
ri
endSi
siphobutIcal
lher
I
ssy
Me:
nicet
omeety
ou,I
ssy
Fi
fi
:she'
sal
soLona'
smot
her
.

Iknewt hat'
swhyt heyhadsomuch
resemblance!Theylooksomuchal i
keitwasa
weirdabi t
.Iwasst i
llshockedandt
heylaughed
atmyf acialexpr
ession.
Me:
youguy
sreal
l
ylookal
i
ke!
I
ssy:Iknow* smi
l
es*wher
eismyl
ovel
y
daughterany
way?
Me:
probabl
ysl
eepi
ng.Letmegowakeherup

Ismiledandranupstai
rst
ogowakeupmybest
fr
iend.Shewasst i
l
lsnori
ngli
keadrunkman
makingmel aughathowloudshewassnoring.
Ishookherandshewokeupwi thaf
r own.

Me:gir
lyoucan'
tbet heonl
yonesleepi
ng.
Let'
sgohangoutwi t
hthewivesandlear
nsome
ti
psorlast
ingr
elat
ionshi
p.

Shejustchuckledandgotup.Shewenttothe
bathroom tobrushherteet
hwhil
eIwait
edfor
heront hebed.Whenshewasdonewebot h
walkeddownst ai
rs.Il
ookedatt
hecar
dgame
theywer eplay
ingandiknewIwasgoingtobe
bor
edi
nthi
shouse.

Lona:tanni
ewhatwast
hel
ongestt
imey
ou
spenthere?
Fi
fi
:pr
obabl
yamont
h.

Wealll
ookedathershocked.Amont hwithout
yourman.Amont hwithoutanycell
phone.Most
i
mportant
lyamont hwithoutsex!Yhuushe'sa
str
ongwomani ndeed.Ican'
tevensurvi
ve2
weekswithoutf
uckingmyman.Iknowt hi
swi l
l
beachall
engeforme.

Fi
fi
:youguy
sarelucky
.Iwashereal
lalone.
Bor
edom waski
ll
i
ngme.I tf
eltl
i
keprison!
Me:wow.Icoul
dnotdoit.Iwoul
dnotsur
viv
eat
al
lwi
thoutScr
appy*l
aughs*
WeallplayedthecardsbutIwasgett
inghungr
y.
Ihel
dmyst omachlooki
ngatthem.Theyall
seemedl i
ketheyweren'
tphasedbyhunger.
Nope,Igaveinanddecidedtotal
k.

Me:
am i
theonl
yhungr
yonei
nher
e?
Fi
fi:
met oo.Andwedidn'tev
endoproperf
ood
shoppi
ngsowe' l
lsur
viv
eont i
nfood.
Me:
pleaset
ell
mey
ou'
rel
yi
ng*
sighs*
Fi
fi
:IwishIwasbabe.Ir
eal
lywi
shIwas
*l
aughs*cor
nedmeatanyone?

Weal l
sighedthenshegotuptogetthet
ins.I
wantedtotalktomyboyfr
iendri
ghtnow
becauseImisshim somuch!Idon'
tli
kethi
s
safehouseatall.
.
.
.
-
-MULLER'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Iwalkedi nsidethehouse.Thel oungewasal l
messedupandIt hinkbecauseoft heKay l
aand
Lonasi tuati
on.Iwal kedupt hest air
s.Fir
st
thingIthoughtwasgoi ngt oKi ng'sr oom.I
openedt hedoor, andi mmedi at elymyhear tf
ell
short.Iwashopi ngal lofthiswasj usta
nightmar eandIwoul dwakeupandhewoul d
makef unofmeandwe' dst artlaughi ngatour
ownj okes.Myphoner angandIl ookedatmy
mot her'snumberont hescreen.Icoul dn'
tbear
thepai ninherifshehear daboutt his.Iwas
supposedt oprotectKi ngandLonat hrough
everything.Ifail
edasabi gbr ot herandIr eal
ly
don'tdeser vethattitl
e.Icoul dn'tev ensavemy
ownl it
tlebrother.Hewaspr obabl yinpai
n
wishingIwast hereinpai nandIwasbusy
wonder i
nghowLonawas.Ishoul d'
vetookhi m
withme.ManIj ustwishIcoul djustturnback
theturn.Ireall
ydo,I'
ddoany t
hingtosavehi m.
Eveni fi
tmeantmedy ing.ButIknewi couldn'
t.
Ineededt ofocusonav enginghim.Hi sdeath
wil
lnev ergodownl i
kei t'
snot hi
ng.Iwant
Kenny '
sfathertopayfort his.AndIwi l
lmake
surehedoes.Myphoner angagainandIl ooked
atthecallerID.ItwasRel l
i
k.

Rel
l
ik:
you'
rer
eady
?
Me:
giv
eme5mor
emi
nut
es.
Rel
l
ik:
I'
m wai
ti
ngout
sidef
ory
ou.
Me:Icandr
ivemy
sel
ftot
hel
ocat
ionoft
he
chopper
s
Rell
i
k:IknowbutIwantt
olookoutf
ory
ou.
Lonacan'tl
oset
hebothofyou.
Me:
I'
ll
ber
ightt
her
e.
Ihungupbef orehecoul dr espond.Howthe
hel
lam igoi
ngt ohandleLonawhenshegoes
backtothedepr essionstagebecausethi
swill
betoomuchf orhert ohandle.ImadesureI
hadmygunandkni f
et henIheadedoutthe
door.I
'
m doingal lofthisforKing.
[
02/
18,
07:
02]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT2
.
.
.
-
-MULLER'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Igotinthecar
.Insi
detheranger
overwas
Scrappy,someotherguywit
hGavinandIwas
confusedwhereGhostwas.

Me:
uGhost
?(Wher
eisGhost
?)
Rell
i
k: Ihadt
olethi
m gotomyhouse.OGand
theothersar
ewithhi
mf orsaf
etypur
poses.
Scrappy:
I'
m sur
pri
sedheagr
eedt
ogo.
*chuckl
es*

Hedr oveforal ongtime.Theywer ebusy

talki
ngwhilemymi ndwasf araway .ManIwish
afterki
l
li
ngt hoseguy sthatKi ngretur
ns.Iwish
thebodywesawwasj ustal ookal
ikedeadbody
orsomet hi
ng!Ij ustcan'
tlosehi m.Howwi l
lI
handleLonaal lalone?Heknewt her i
ghtwords
tosaytoher ,Idon'tevenknowhowt orai
seher
alone.
Rel
l
ik:
Mul
l
er!

Isnappedoutofmythoughtsandlookedathim.
Iunderst
andRell
i
kistr
yingtolookoutforLona
butIdon'
twanthimtotreatmelikeachil
d.Iam
agrownman.

Me:
ntoni
?(What
?)
Rell
i
k:I'
mint
roduci
ngy
out
otheper
sonGhost
sent.
Me:
har
de.Moj
apoi
.(Sor
ry.Shar
pboy
)
Rel
l
ik:
that
'sLuke.

Inoddedandagaintheystar
tedt
alkingagai
n.I
wasreadytoki
llpeopleandIwantthatman
deadtoday
.

Scr
appy
:any
bodyt
alkedt
oCar
do?
Rell
i
k: Ical
l
edhim earl
i
ertocheckonhi m.He's
okay,Igavehim moneyforafl
ighttogetoutof
CapeTownf orawhil
e.Hemeansal ottoLona
soIhav etomakesurehe'ssafetoo.
Scr
appy
:atl
easthe'
sst
il
lal
i
ve.

Finall
yaftersol ong.Wear ri
v edatt he
destinat
ionandIcoul dseet hechopper sf r
om a
far.Igotoutfirstthent heyal lgotout .Iwasi na
hurrytoleave,andgett hisjobdone.Rel l
ikwent
totalkwiththechopperpi l
ots.Ther ewer e2
choppersandi neachchopper4peopl ecanget
i
n.IknewIwasgoi ngt or i
deal onebecauseI
didn'twantthem t oannoymet alkingal otwhen
allIwantissil
ence.Il ookedatRel liktal
kingto
thoseguy s.Hegav eanot herdudesomet hi
ng.I
wasconf usedwhati tis.Thepi lotcamet ome
andIwasst i
llsuspi ciousandIt hinkher eali
zed
i
tbecausehewentpassedmeandRel l
i
kcame
totalktome.
Me:
whatar
eyoupl
anni
ng?
Rel
l
ik:not
hing.Thepil
otsneedal
i
ttl
ebr
eak
we'
llbegoi
nginnotime.

ThenIfel
tsomeonegodeepi nmyar m.I
groanedi
npainandIlookedattheneedl
e.I
gl
aredatRell
i
kfeel
ingdrowsy.Thepil
ot
st
abbedmewi thaneedle.

Rel
l
ik:
shecan'
tl
osey
out
oo,
Khazi
mla.

Icouldn'
tevenrepl
y.Iwassoangr ythough.
Thathewoul dgoagainstmydecisiontobe
apartoftheplanandkillKenny
'sf
atherwith
them.Ifell
int
odeepsl eep.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Itookouttheneedl ethatwasf i
ledwith
Sedati
vehy pnoti
cwhi chwasasl eepi
ngdrug.I
neededthepi l
ottodropMul leratthesafe
housejustincaset hi
spl andoesn'tgowell
.I
don'twanthim hurtintheprocess.Ihelp
Scrappycarryhimintot hechopper

Scr
appy:
he'
sgoi
ngt
obeangr
yasf
uckwhenhe
wakesup
Me:Idon'tcar
e.Asl
ongashe'
ssaf
e.I
'
m doi
ng
t
hisforLona
Scr
appy
:you'
rer
eal
l
yfeel
i
ngt
hisgi
rl
.
Me:
mor
ethany
ouknowbr
uh.
~~
Wegotof
fthechopper
sandl
ucki
l
yther
ewasn'
t
anycar
sinthefr
eeway.Onl
y1JeepandI
fi
gur
editwasthecarf
orus.

Me:don'
tleav
e.Assoonaswe'r
edonewe'l
l
cont
actyou.Ber
eadytofl
youtany
time.

Thepil
otnoddedandwegoti
ntheJeepand
spedofft
oKingWill
i
amsTown.

Scr
appy:Mul
l
ersai
dhel
i
vesi
nCaf
ari
anne
Hei
ghts.

Inoddedandt henScrappytoldthedr i
verthe
restoftheaddress.Whilewewer eapproaching
thehouse.Wegotof f3housesbef or
ewe
reachedhishouse.Itwasv erybeautif
ul Iwon'
t
l
ie.Icouldseetheguardsbeingonguar d.We
walkedinthedarksot heywouldn'tseeus.I
knewt hati
fwewal kedslowlywithoutnosound
wecoul dkilltheof f.Butwhati fthegunsmake
anoi se?Wef i
nallygotat r
eecl oset ot hehouse.
Lukecl i
mbedoni tmaki ngmel ookathi m
confused.Nowi snott herightt imeforgames.
Headj ust edhi sguni ntoasni per.That '
swhenI
under stoodhewant edabet terposi t
iont o
shoot .Hel ookeddownatusandsi gnal edt her e
wer e5guy sint hef ront .Inoddedandwai ted
forhimt odohi sjob.Heshot1t i
meandt hat '
s
wheni hear dal otofcommot i
onsoIf iguredt he
guardswher emaki nganoi seatataguybei ng
shot.Thenheshot3t imes.Ihear dguns
shoot i
ngbutt heywer eshoot ingatawr ong
dir
ect i
onbecauset heycoul dn' tseewher ewe
are.Lukekeptonshoot i
ngandaf t
erawhi leI
heardsi l
ence.Ir anupt othegat eandsi gnal led
Gav i
nt ocomeopent hegat ebyhacki ng.
Kenny 'sf atheri sn'
tt hatst upid.Ibetheknows
I'
m alreadyi nher e.Iknewt hiswasar i
ch
neighbor hoodsowehadaboutanhourbef or e
thepol icewoul dar rive.Lukef i
nallycamedown
thetreeandweallgoti
ntheyard.I
nsi
dethe
houseitwasempty.Iknewwehadt olookf
or
him becauseal
lhi
sguardsweredeadhewas
beingav agi
na.

Me: 2upand2down.Ifyouseehi
m,shoot
!Set
atimerLukeandinanhourwe'
real
ll
eavi
ng.We
can'
tgetarr
ested.

Theyal l
noddedandScr appyfol lowedme
upstair
swhi leLukeandGav i
nr emai neddown.
Wel ookedatal lther oomsdownst ai
rs.We
fi
nall
yar r
ivedi noner oom,andImot ionedf or
Scrappytowai twhilei wentinsi de.Iopened
thedoorandi twasanof f
ice.Itlookedl i
ke
someonewasi nsoIwenti nsi
dedeeper ,theni
heardagunshot .If eltthepai nonmyl ower
back.Ihear danot herbul l
etandabodyf all
ing.I
l
ookedback, andt herewasKenny '
sf atheron
thefloorbleedingf r
om hi shead.Scr appy
r
ushedt
omeasIf
ell
ont
hef
loor
.

Scrappy
:hewasbehindthedoor.Whyt hef
uck
di
dy ouwanttogeti
nherealoneanyway!?We
needtohurr
yyoubacktothehospit
al.

If
eltcol
dandIcoul
dn'
tmov
emybodyatal
l
.

Me:
Ica-
cansur
viv
ear
idebackt
oCapeTown
Scr
appy:
you'
recr
azy
!You'
rel
osi
ngt
oomuch
bl
ood!

If
eltext
raweakandjustdr
if
tedof
f,Scr
appy
wasshakingmebuthisvoi
cestar
teddri
ft
ing
of
ftoo.
.
.
~~
-
-MULLER'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iopenedmyeyes,
andi wasconf
usedbyt
he
surr
oundi
ngsIwasin.

Lona:
final
l
yyou'
reawake!*
smi
l
es*

Il
ookedatherconf
used.Isthi
sadr
eam?Am I
dead?IgotupandIcanfeltt
hemostpai
nful
headacheever
.

Lona:youweredr
oppedoffwit
hthechopper.
What'
sgoingon?Whyarey ouher
e?Wher e'
s
Kinganyway?Where'
sRel
l
ik?Mull
ertal
k!
Ilookedather ,
andIcouldn'tst
opt het ears
from fall
ing.HowcanIt ellmylit
tl
esi sterI
fail
edatpr otecti
ngourbrother?Icoul dn'tl
ook
getint heey esandtel
lher.Especiall
ywhen
theywer esocl ose.

Me:what'
sgoingon!?You'
remakingme
worr
ied.I
sRelli
kokay?IsKingokay
?What
's
goi
ngonpleasetel
lme!

Shest ar
tedshakingmewi thtearsfal
li
ngdown
hereyes.Idon'tknowwhyRel li
kdidthi
sand
sentmeher e!Ididn'
twanttobet heone
breakingthenewst oherbutIguessIhav etoo.
Ilookedather,andheldherhandandwi pedmy
tears.

Me:Ineedyoutobest
rongf
ormewhi
l
eI'
m
t
ell
i
ngy out
his.Ki
ngi
s..
.
Lona:
no!

Sheviol
ent
lyshookherheadcryi
ngand
scr
eaming.Shetriedpull
i
ngmyhandoffbutI
pul
ledhermor eandhuggedherasshe
scr
eamedt r
yingtober emov
eme.

Lona:
no!Pl
easenoGodpl
ease*
cri
es*
Me:I
'm sosorr
y.Iwoul
d'
vetr
iedever
ythi
ngI
wi
shIknewwhatdot odotobr i
nghi
m back.I
r
eal
lywishIknew.Iwoul
ddoi ti
naheart
beat.
Lona: hecan'
tdi
eKhazi
ml a!Hejustcan'
t!We'
re
al
l supposedtogrowol
dt oget
herwe'reall
supposedt omakedadproudandmakei ti
nli
fe!
Pleasetellmehe'
sokay.PLEASE

Shestart
edcr
yingl
oudandIhadtolethergo,
andshecover
edherfacewit
hherhandsstil
l
cry
ing.Andt
hatmademef eelsosadand
heart
broken.Ineverwanttomakemysi stercr
y
andallofthi
sismyf aul
t.I'
mthereasonforall
thi
sshit.Nel
la,Fi
fi
,andSisi
phocamei nthe
room.Theywer eshockedtoseeLonacr yi
ng.

Fi
fi
:wehear
dthel
oudcr
ies.What
'sgoi
ngon?

Icoul
dn'
tev enl
ookandt al
ktothem.Ist
aredat
thewall
andal l
t heguil
twaseat i
ngmeali
ve.I
shoul
dn'thavelefthi
mt her
e.IfIwasagood
brot
herIwould'
v ebroughthim wit
hme!

Nel
l
a:Lona.what
'
swr
ong,
munchki
n?
Lona:he'
sdead.
..he-
he'
sdead*
cri
es*my
brot
herisdead!

Shescr
eamedagain,
andIlookedatNel
l
awho
i
mmediatel
yhuggedherwhil
eFif
iandSi
sipho
l
ookedatherwi
thsadey
est
hatwer
efi
l
ledwi
th
t
ears.

Lona:
thi
s..
.thi
sisal
lm-
myf
aul
t
Nel
l
a:don'
tsayt
hatLona.
Lona:i
fIdidn'tdat
eRell
i
khewoul
dsti
ll
beal
iv
e!
Hewouldst i
llbeherewi
thme!Wewoul
dbe
pl
ayingFi
fa-*cri
es*
me:i
fIdidn'
tl
eavehi
m atthatdamnhospi
tal
.
Hewouldbeali
veri
ghtnow.
Nell
a: don'tsaythat
, Lona!Youlov eRel l
ik.And
Iknowr i
ghtnowi tmayhur tforforbot h,andi t
will
hur tforalongtimebutast i
megoes.You
will
findpeace.Idon' tknowKi ngper sonal l
ybut
I'
m surehewoul dn'
twanthi ssibl
ingshat i
ng
themsel vesforsomet hi
ngt hatcan'tbef ixed.
Hei satahappi erplaceandhe' swat chingov er
youguy swi thsuchhappi nessbecausehe' llbe
watchingy ouguy sgrow.
Izonedheroutbecauseal
lIcouldthi
nkabout
washowIdon'tdeservel
if
eafterIl
etmy
brot
herdown.
.
.
.
-
-SCRAPPY'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Ipacedupanddownt hehospi tal
.Wewer etol
d
towaitforthedoct ortofi
nishoper at
ingbutI
neverli
kepubl i
chospital
s.They 'r
ejustnotgood
i
nmyopi ni
onduet othelackofr esourcesbut
i
t'
st heonlyclosebyhospi talandIneeded
everyt
hingrightnowf orRelli
ktosur vi
ve.That
guyismybestf r
iendandIcan' tfuckinglose
hi
m.Thedoctorfi
nal
l
ycameandIambushed
hi
m wi
thquesti
ons.

Me:
isheokay
!?Hedidn'
tdi
eri
ght
?You'
l
lneed
t
omakesurehedoesn'
tdi
e!
Doc:whichpat
ientar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
*conf
used*
me:
Xav
ierDamon!
Doc:
I'
m sor
ry,
Idon'
trememberapat
ientof
t
hatname
Me:
hecamei
nher
etoday
!Hewasshot
!
Doc:ohthatpat
ient
!You'
ll
havetof
orgi
vemeI
havealotofpat
ient
sit'
shardt
okeepupwit
h
thenames.
Me:
justt
ell
mei
fhe'
sokay
!
Doc:
he'
sinI
CU

Il
ookedathi
m shocked.Thi
scannotbe
happeni
ngrightnow.Ipl
acedmyhandsonmy
headfeel
ingdefeat
ed.

Doc:
acoma.
Me:
IknowwhatanI
CUi
s!

Iwassopi ssedIwant edt oshoothim dead, I

didn'
tevenwantt oheart herestofthewor ds.
Howwi l
lIexplaintoGhosthi snephewi sina
coma.Wecoul dn'
tev enbur nt hehousesot he
houseisleftwi t
hal otofdeadbodi esandI '
m
surethepol i
cear r
ivedt herealready.Whati f
theycheckt hecamer asandwe' r
eseent here.
Thisisallafuckingmess.Il ookedbackatt he
boys.Weneededt ocal l Ghostasapt ohelpus
beforewel andinjail,
andheneedst oknow
Rell
ikisinacoma.
[
02/
18,
07:
03]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT3
.
.
.
-
-SCRAPPY'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Iqui
ckl
ycall
edGhostbecauseweneededa
pl
anfastandican'
tdothi
sonmyown.

Ghost:you'
rest
il
lal
i
ve.Thepl
anwentwel
l
*chuckl
es*
Me:
notexact
ly.
..
.
Ghost
:what
'swr
ong?
Me:
wecoul
dn'
tpl
acet
hebombi
nti
me
becausewewer
ehur
ryi
ngRel
l
ikt
othehospi
tal
.
Ghost
:he'
sinahospi
tal
!?
Me:
yeah.He'
sinacoma*
sighs*
Ghost
:what
!?I
'
m comi
ngt
her
e.
Me: westi
l
lneedaplanfort
hepol
i
ce.Theymay
checkthecamerasout
.
Ghost
:bombt
hewhol
epl
aceup!
Me:
thepol
i
cemi
ghtbet
her
e!
Ghost:f
uck!I
'l
lseei
fIcanhi
tupmyol
dpol
i
ce
connect
ionandseewhatIcando.
Me:
doi
tfastbef
orei
tbl
owsupont
henews.
Ghost
:makesur
eyoudon'
tl
eav
eRel
l
ik'
ssi
de
i
ncaseany
thi
nggoeswr
ong.
Me:
Kenny
'sf
atheri
sdead.
Ghost
:good.Nowwehavenothi
ngtowor
ry
about
,butRel
li
khasmanyenemies.
Hehungup.AndIpl acedmyphonebacki nmy
pocket .Therewast hisnur
sewhowaspl ayi
ng
theradi oandIhear dthenewst alki
ngabout
mur derof6guy si nCaferi
anneHei ghts.Iknew
thent hatKenny'sfatheri
sr eal
l
ydeadandwe' r
e
i
ndeepshi t.Therewer e5guardsandKenny '
s
fatherwast he6t hpersonweki l
ledthere.What
wor r
iedmet hemostwast henewsal ready
hav i
ngt heinfor
mat i
on.Ihopeourf aceswon't
beont henews.

Gav
in:
wai
t!Ihav
eani
dea!
Me:
what
?!
Gavi
n:Icant
ryt
ohackint
othecamer
asy
stem
i
fI'
m cl
osert
othehouse.
Luke:soweneedtoriskusbeingcaught
.What
i
ftheyalr
eadysawthesecuri
tysystem?Then
we'r
egivi
ngoursel
vestothepoli
ceonasilver
pl
atter
Gav
in:
it'
swor
that
ry
Me:Iagr
eewit
hGavi
n.It
'swor
thatr
y .Luke
don'
tl
eaveRel
l
ik'
ssi
deandwe'
llber
ightback.

Henoddedandf ol
dedhisar ms.Iknewhe
didn'
twantt ogobecauseoft hepol i
cesot he
bestwaywasf orhimt ostayher eandst aywit
h
Relli
k.MeandGav inrushedtot hejeepandwe
toldthedr i
vert
odr i
vebackt othehousebuthe
shouldn'tparkj
ustnearitthatit'
snot i
ceable.
LuckilyGav i
ngotaconnect i
on3housesaway .
Andhest art
eddoinghisthingont helapt op.I
l
ookedatt heneighboursingownssur r
ounding
thehouse.Ther ewast hepolice,andforensic
people.Icouldseet hebodieswer ebeingputin
theforensiccar.

Gav
in:
done!Al
ldel
eted.We'
resav
ed!
Me:
evi
dence,
wecan'
tbombt
hepl
acewi
thal
l
t
hesepeopl
eher
e?
Gavi
n: we'
regoi
ngtohavetothr
owawayal
lthe
gunsweusedorcleanthem upsowedon'
tget
anyt
hingthatl
eadsustothi
s.

Ismil
edasmal lsmilethenor
deredt hedri
ver
todri
veusbackt othehospit
al.Wecan' tri
sk
thepoli
ceseei
ngus.Att hehospit
al wefound
Lukeatthesamepl acewelefthim andIwas
happyhedidn'
tmov ebecauseIstil
l don'
ttrust
anyone.Kenny'
sf at
hermaybedeadbutst illa
l
otofpeoplewantRel l
i
kdeadandassoonas
theyl
earnhe'
sinacomat hey'
ll
trybyal l
means
toeli
minat
ehim.AndIdon' twantthat
happeni
ngatall
.

Luke:whydoesn'
tGhostdoanI
CUt
ransf
erf
or
Rell
ik?
Me:
that
'snotabadi
dea.Letmet
ell
himt
hat
,
i
nst
eadofhi
m buy
ingaf
li
ghtt
icket
.
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Iwasv er
yti
redandIhadt hemostpainful
headacheeverf
rom allt
hatcryi
ng.Ij
uststi
ll
coul
dn'tbel
i
evehewasgone.Thi swasn't
supposedtohappenlikethi
s.Mefall
i
ngi nl
ove
wit
hRel l
i
kwasn'tsupposedtohurtmyfami l
y
l
ikethi
s.

Mul
l
er:
yousur
eyou'
renotgoi
ngt
oeatany
thi
ng?
Ij
ustcont inuedst ar i
ngatthewal lnottal
ki
ngat
al
l.Ifel
tlikemyl ifewasempt y .IknowMul l
er
wast ryi
ngt obestr ongforthebot hofusbut
honestlyitwasj ustsohar d.Icoul dn'
tevengoa
secondwi thoutt
hi nkingaboutKi ng.Hewasmy
brotherandheal way smadesur eIwashappy
andIdi dn'thavetocr yoranything.Healways
madesur eIwasokay .

Mull
er:
comeony ouhavetoeatsomethi
ng.
Youhavebeenl
i
ket hi
sfort
helast4hoursnow.

Ididn'tevenlookathi
m.Idon' tbl
ameMul l
erat
allbecauseheal sodi
dn'tknowthi
swoul d
happen.Ial waysthoughtmeandmybr others
woul dgrowol dandwatchourkidstur
nint o
bestf r
iendsnowIhav etodealwit
hthef act
thathewasgone.
Mull
er:IlosthimtoLelona.Iknowithurt
sand
i
tfeelsl
ikeit'
snevergoingtogetbet
terbutI
promisey ouitwi
l
l.Ineedy outobestr
ongand
eatsomet hi
ngbeforeyoubecomeweak.

Ilai
dont hebedandj ustcover
edmy sel
fand
start
edcr yi
ngagai n.Thi
swashar d,Ifel
tlikemy
whol ewor l
djustdoesn'texi
stIfel
tli
keI
deser v
emor ebecauseIal waysenduphur tinto
what everido.May beI'
m notmeantf orli
fe.I
gethur ti
nwhat everthatIdoandnowI '
mf ed
up.Ihear dMullersighandhewal kedout.Ifelt
sleepyaftercryingforalongti
me.Thenf inallyI
felli
ntodeepsl eep.
.
.
.
-
-NELLA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Isawt hetwochopper sandi nt
oqui ckl
y
shoutedtoev eryone2chopper swer ecoming.I
hopewe' r
egoi nghome.BecauseIam t i
redof
thi
splaceImi ssmymanandseei ngLonat ry
l
ikethatmakesmesosad.Shedoesn' tdeserve
anyoft hi
sv er
yshe'ssuchani cegirl.ButGod
alwayshasapl anandev er
ythi
nghappensf ora
reason.Thismaybehert esttoseehowmuch
fai
thshehasi nHi m butwhatev erhappensHe
wouldnev erforsakeher.Ihopesheknowst hat
.

Fi
fi
:It
hinkwe'
regoi
nghome!Thanky
ouJesus!
Si
si
pho:
final
l
y!

Irant
omyr oom andtookmysportbagfil
l
ed
euthmyclothesandwhenIwasabouttorun
downstai
rsIsawMulleront
hepassagelooki
ng
al
lsad.Isi
ghedandwal
kedt
ohi
m.

Me:
she'
sdoi
ngokay
?
Mull
er:
shejustst
aresaret
hewal l
wit
hout
say
ingany
thingoreati
nganyt
hing.
Me:
wit
hti
mei
twi
l
lgetbet
ter
.
Mull
er:youdon'
tknowwhatwe'
regoing
t
hrough!Sopleasest
oppl
ayi
ngthetherapi
st!

Ilookedathim andIsawherr egret

tedwhathe
j
ustsaid.IunderstoodthehurtandIdidn'
twant
toseerudesoIj ustnodded.AndIwas
ambushingthem wi thmotiv
ati
onalwordswhen
allt
heywantedwassi l
ence.

Mul
l
er:
look,
I'
m sor
ryt
ojustt
hat
-
Me:noIunderst
and.Ithurt
sIhavebeenther
e
t
oo.Itf
eel
slikeyoucould'
vedonesomethi
ng
andy ouhavesomanywhati f
sandal otof
di
fferentscenesplayi
nginy ourheadhowy ou
could'
vepreventedtheissue.Iknow.
Mul
l
er:
i-
Me: buty oudoneedt oknowt hatyoursi ster
will
needy ounowmor ethanev er.Yourgui lt
eati
ngy ouupshoul dn'tbemor ethany our
sist
er.Iknowy oufeel l
i
key oudon' tdeser veto
l
ive,Ihav egonethrought hatstaget oo.Iknow.
Buty oucan'tkil
lyourself
,Lonawoul dnev er
makei t.It'
sall
ony ounowshe' sgoingt olook
ony ouf orsupportandev ery
thing.I fsheloses
you,she'lll
oseherself.Don'tdoany thi
ngcr azy.

Henoddedandi l
efthi
mt her
et othinkabout
whatIjustsaid.Iknowwhatt hey'
regoi ng
thr
oughbecausemybr otherwasal soki l
l
edin
gangviolenceandhet ri
edcalli
ngmet ohelp
him.ButIdidn'tanswerthecallbecauseIwas
madatanar gumentwehad, Ididn'tevenknow
hewasi nt roublewi thgangs.Ial way shated
my selff ort hat,Iwi shedIcoul dt akebackt he
ti
met oanswert hatcal landqui cklycal lt
he
policebuti nduet i
meIunder stoodi t'
sGod's
wor kt ost rengthenme.Buti wasn' tal waysthi
s
under standi ng, Itriedkill
ingmy sel fal otof
ti
mes.ButIj ustwoul dsur viveandIknewi t
wasn' tmyt i
mey et .AndIcan' tletMul l
eror
Lonagot hrought hatphase.Oncemybagwas
i
nt hechopper ,
IsawMul l
erbr ingLona' sbag
andIgoti nsidet hechopperandwai tedforher
toar ri
ve.Whenshegotoutt hehouseIcoul d
seeherr edey esandherst i
llcry i
ng.Shegot
i
nsidet hechopperandmov edcl oset ome.I
heldherhandandshel aidherheadonmy
shoul derandIhear dhersni ff
ingmeani ngshe
wasst i
ll crying.Iwi pedthet inyt ear sIhad
becauset hisbroughtbackmemor ies.Ilether
crybecausesheneededt ol etal lthehur tgo.
Mul lergoti nal soandsatnextt oLona.Af t
era
fewmi nut eswel eftthepl ace.Il ookedbackat
i
t,andi
t'
sapi
tywecoul
dn'
tenj
oyt
hisbeaut
if
ul
house.
~~
.
.
-
-GHOST'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Thetr
ansferwentwel
landXav
ierwasi
na
hospi
tal
hereinCapeTown.

Me:
wheni
shegoi
ngt
ogetoutoft
heI
CU?
Doc:
notsur
e.Hewasshoti
nthel
owerback
andt
hat-
Me:justgi
vemeaper
cent
agechanceofhi
s
sur
vival
Doc:46%buthecoul
dst
il
lpul
lbackandcome
back.

Inoddedt henhel eftwhileIlookedatmy

nephew.Ipai daf ewguar dst ostandonhi s
dooratallt i
meswhi leIwentbackhome
becausev isi
tinghourswer eov er
.Icoul dn'
tgo
backtomyhousebecausei twassomessedup
soIwentbackt oRelli
k'
shouse.OnceIwasi n
thereIhadachancet othi
nkaboutt his.Iknew
awarwoul dcausecr azythings.Justnott hi
s
crazy,Fi
fiwilllosei
tifshelear nsRel li
kisina
coma.Scr appyhadt osettl
ef oraf l
ightsince
thechopper swer ebringi
ngt hegi r
lsandMul l
er
backhome.Iknowt hey'
regoi ngtoar ri
v e
tomorrow.Thi swil
lgivethecl eanersenough
ti
met omakesur emyhousei sspot lessbefore
mywi fereturns.
.
~~
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Whenwel andedandIsawacarwai tingf orus.
Onceweal lgotinsi
dewedr oveof f.Itwas
totall
ysi l
entinthecar .Thecarwasgoi nginsi de
Relli
k'shouseandIl ookedatMul ler.Idi dn't
wantt oseeRel l
iknow.Iwasst il
lnotr eady .I
don'tev enknowi fwe'regoingtomakei twi t
h
alltheseobst acl
est r
y i
ngt otearusdown.They
gotoutt hecarandIhadt ogetoutt oo.Mul ler
heldmyhandandwewal kedinsi
det hehouse.
Itwasf ill
edwi t
hgangst er
s.Iwasn' tst upidal l
thesedudesl ookedlikegangst ers.Iwas
conf usedwhatwer etheydoi ngher et hough.I s
thi
sacel ebrati
on?IswearI '
ll
dumpRel l
ikifhe' s
celebratingwhilemybr otherisdead.Ghost
camedownst air
sandFi fir
antogi vehi m aki ss.
Iwalkedinthel
ivi
ngroom i
nhopesoffi
ndi
ng
Rel
li
ksohecanexpl ai
nwhat'sgoi
ngon.Nell
a
wasal l
onScrappyandhewasl ov
ingev
ery
minuteofit
.

Me:
wher
eishe?

Mullershruggedhi
sarmssayinghedoesn'
t
know.Iwal keduptoGhostbecauseIcoul
dn'
t
waitti
llf
oreverIwantt
ogohome.

Fi
fi
:what
'sgoi
ngonher
e?
Ghost
:ihav
etoannouncesomet
hingst
othe
gang.
Me:
wher
eishe?

Helookedatmewit
hsadeyes.Thenhelooked
down.Ist
art
edget
ti
ngthi
sstrongheadache
andmyhear twasbeati
ngf ast,
hecannotbe
dead!Fi
fil
ookedathim shakingherheadwi
th
tear
sfal
li
ngdown.

Ghost
:he'
sinacoma.
-

Idi
dn'
theart
her
est
,Ij
ustf
ell
downhar
dont
he
fl
oor
.
[
02/
18,
07:
08]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT4
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwokeupi nar oom Iknewi twasRel li
k'
s
l
ookingaroundIj ustthoughtaboutt hetimes
wespendher eandt helaughterweshar edin
thi
sroom.Ont heotherhandIhav etogohome
andseeKing'sr oom thatwill
r eal
lyt
earme
apart
,Idi
dn'tev ensaygoodby etohim.That '
s
whatmakesmemor esad.IlookedatMul l
er
whohadf all
enasl eepont hecouch.Ilov ethat
hewasbymysi dethroughall oft
hisshitli
feis
thr
owingatme.Igotupf rom thebedandwent
tohim.AfterIshookhi m hewasabi tshocked
buthereali
sedi twasmeandhecal meddown.

Me:what'
sgoingonnow?Ir
ememberhear
ing
aboutRel
l
ikbut.
..

Il
ookeddownwithtear
sf al
l
ingdown.Hestood
upandhuggedme.Icri
edmor ebecauseIdi
dn'
t
under
standhowall
ofthiscanhappentoa18
yearol
dli
keme.Ther
eareplent
yof18yearol
d
gir
lsi
nthewor
ld.Whydi
dithavetobeme!?

Mull
er:
ther
e'sachancehe'
l
lli
ve.Don'
tl
ose
hopenow
Me:
canIgoseehi
m?
Mul
l
er:
let
'
sgoaskGhost
.
Me:
howdi
dyougot
othesaf
ehouse?
Mul l
er:Rel
li
kdruggedmeandIguesshe
orderedthepil
ottodropmeher e.Heputhi
slif
e
i
nj eopardytoavengeKingandmakesureI
don'tgethurtbecauseofwhathefeel
sforyou.
Me:
Ishoul
d'
veappr
eci
atedhi
m mor
e
Khazi
mla:
he'
l
lpul
lthr
ough.Don'
twor
ry.
Me:
Khazi
mla?
Mul
l
er:
yes?
Me:Idon'
tthi
nkI'
l
lbestr
ongenoughtol
iv
ein
ourhouseagai
n.I
t'
ll
remi
ndmeofKi ngal
ot.
Mull
er:
Iknowhowy oufeelexact
ly.Let
'
sgiv
eit
atr
ythough.Yanga'
i
nkosiwouldn'
twantusto
bel
ikethi
s.

Inoddedbecausehewasr ight.AlthoughKing
wasy oungert hanMul l
er,hewasal way sso
mat ur
eandt hat'
swhatIlov edabouthi m.We
couldtalkaboutmypr obl
emsandal waysgiv
e
meadv iceandmakemehappy .Wewal ked
downstairsandIsawt hepeopl ehadl ef
t.I
l
ookedatt heloungeandt her eSisiphowas
sit
ti
ngont hecouch.Shewasst arringattheTV
thatwast urnedof f
,shelookedl i
keshewas
cryi
ng.Mul lercl
earedhist hroat.

Sisi
pho:oh,sor
ry.*
wipest
ear
s*t
heywentt
o
thehospit
al.

Inoddedandshegotup,
shewal
kedcl
osert
o
meandwewer ebothnowcr yi
ng.Shehugged
met i
ght,andhonest
lyIneededamot her
lyhug
ri
ghtnow.Ididn'twanttol
etgoandshehel d
onuntil
Iwasr eadytol
etgo.

Sisi
pho:
Iwill
real
l
ymi ssYangaIdidn'
thav
ethe
chancetobondwithhim agai
n.Butwewere
cl
osewhenhewasy oung.
Me:Ireal
lymisshi
m andIwi
shal
loft
hisi
sa
bi
gnightmare.
Sisi
pho: y
ouandKhazi ml
acanli
vewit
hmei f
youf eel
uncomf or
tabl
ewit
hthehomey ouhave
now.Ihav ebroughtanewhouseint
hesame
neighbourhoodasFifi
andGhost.

IlookedatMull
erandheknewt hi
swasagood
i
deabecausewebot hdi dn'tfeell
i
keliv
ingin
thathousebecauseeverythingwillr
emindusof
King.It
'sbestwesell
it.ItwasunderKi ng'
s
namebutIt
hinki
nthewi
l
lhewi
l
lgi
vei
tto
Mull
er.
~~
.
.
Iwal kedint hehospi t
alroom hewasi n.I
couldn'tbearl ooki
ngathi ml iket hi
s.Itwasonl y
onev i
sit
oratat i
me, andi twasonl ymeand
himi nther oom.Iwasn' tusedt ohim bei ngli
ke
this.I'
m usedt ohim beingst rongandt ough.
Thesemachi nesandt ubesi nhi m weremaki ng
mef eelreal
lysad.IfIdidn' tgot otheshi sa
nyamawi t
hCar dothatni ghtIwoul dn'
thav e
sawKennyandt hiscould' vebeenav oided.IfI
didn'tgot othatsneakershopt heywoul dn't
hav efought .IknowIshoul dn'tblamemy sel
f
butwhenal otofthingsar ehappeni ngar ound
meIcan' thelpbutf eell
ikei thassomet hingto
dowi t
hme.Isatt hereandst artedtal
kingt o
him hopinghewoul dwakeup.
Me: Imi ssy ou.WeirdlyenoughIwast hi nking
ofusbr eakingupandIf eel likeI '
m abi tchso
mucht oy out hatIshoul dl ear nt oappr eciate
youmor e.Thi smakesmeappr eciatey oumor e.
Iknowi t'
sf uckedupt hatitt ooky oubei ngi na
hospi tal bedf ormet oappr eci atey ou.You
kil
ledKennyf orme, asi fthat 'snotenough.You
sav edMul l
erf r
om deat hbysendi nghi mt ot he
safehouse.Ev eryti
mesomet hinggoeswr ong
youf i
xi tandy oudon'tgi veup.Whi l
eev ery
ti
mesomet hinggoeswr ongI 'm qui ckt obl ame
youandwantt odumpy ou.Idon' tknowwhyI
dot hat .Iguessi t'
smyf eart haty ou'll
endup
beingbor edwi thagi r
l l
ikeme.Butwi tht he
recentev ent sy ouhav eshownmet hatIr eall
y
hav ey ouf orapur posei nmyl ife.Andy ou' l
l
alway shav emyback.Ipr omi sewheny ou
returnI '
lllov eyoumor et hanIshoul d've.I '
l
l I
'l
l
beabet tergi rl
fri
endbutpl easedon' tleav eme
Xav ier.Ican' tl
oseKi ngt henl osey out oo.I
won'
tmakei
t,Ij
ustwon'
t.
.
.
×2WEEKSLATER×
-
-MULLER'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Thef uneral wentbyl astweek, andIstil
l f
eel t
he
painofl osingmybr other.NowmeandLona
l
ivewi thAuntSi sipho.Whenmom f oundout
aboutKi ng'sdeat hshel ostitandwhenshesaw
Sisiphoshebl amedherf orthedeathofhi m.
Shekeptsay ingshebewi tchedhim.Mom
doesn' tknowKi ngasagangst er
.Shewent
backhomewi thdadandt hefami l
yyesterday
afterIcaughthert r
yingt opoisonauntSi sipho
withr atpoisonandIf el
tlikeshewasdoi ngt o
muchandnowIbel i
eveauntSi siphothatmy
mom mayhav er eall
ysentsomeonet otryand
kil
lher .Rellikstil
lhasn'tcomeoutoft hecoma
andIknowi t
'sstil
laffectingLona.ButImake
sureshest i
lltakesherdepr essionmedi ci
ne
andIt akehert otherapysessi ons,andIt ake
hert othehospi taltov i
sithim ev eryday.Ghost
want edt oseemei nhi shomesoIwentt here.I
didn'tknowwhati twasabout .Iwant edt otell
him Idi dn'twantt obeagangst erany mor ebutI
knewt heonl ywayoutwasdeat h.AndIt ook
Nella'sadv icet heotherday .Ican'tdiebecause
mysi st erneedsmemor et hanany t
hingandi fI
dieshe' lldietoo.Especi allywithv arsi
ty
reopeni ngt omor rowIhopeshe' l
l beablet o
focus.

Ghost
:comei
n.

Iwal
kedinsi
dethehouseandIgreet
edFi
fit
hen
wewalkedupst
air
stohisoff
ice.
Me:Ihav
etomeetwi
tht
hel
awy
ersi
nanhour
.
So-
Ghost
:Iwon'
ttakel
ong.
Me:
okay
.

Isatdown.Andhet ooksomepapersthengave
them t
ome, Ilookedatthepaper
sanditwasa
contr
actofhisclub.Il
ookedathi
m shocked.

Ghost :look,Iunderstandt hepai noflosinga

brother.I t
'
st hewor worstshitev erandy ou
havet or emainwithabr avefacef orev er
yone
sonot hingcoul dfal
l apartbutdeepdowny ou'
re
alsohumanandy oual sof eelthepainofl osi
ng
yourbr other.Youshoul dgot hrought hathur
t
phase.Don' tbrushitof ftomakesur eLonai s
okay .Youcanmakesur eshe'sokaywhi l
e
handl i
ngy ourpainaswel l
.Thisi smyt hankyou
toyou.
Il
ookedathim conf
used.Ghostisri
ght
.Iam
bott
li
ngupmyemot ionsbecauseIwantmy
si
stertoseemeasst rongsoshecansee
every
thi
ngwil
lbealri
ght.I
fsheseesmecryi
ng
al
ltheti
methatwon'thelpatal
l.

Ghost :
theBr i
mshav ebeenmyhei stgangf or
somet imeandy oumadesur eev er
yt i
met he
heistwentwel l
.Andwi ththi
sdiffi
cultt
imeI
knowy ouneedabr eak.I'
m givi
ngyouoneof
mycl ubthatwayy oucanst il
lprovi
def oryour
sisterandwheny ou'r
er eadytogetbacki nthe
gamey ou'
l
lletmeknow.Ther e'
salway saspot
fory ou.

Ilookedathi
m wi
thpl
easedey
es.Ineeded
somegoodnewst hi
sweekandhereall
ygave
them tome.
Ghost
:youcangiv
ey ourl
awy
ert
hecont
ractt
o
readi
fyoudon'
ttr
ustit
Me:thanky
ou!Thanky
ousomuch.Youdon'
t
knowhowmuchIneededthi
s.

Alt
hought hegangst
erl
i
fewi
llal
waysfol
l
owme
whereverIgo.Ali
ttl
ebr
eakf
rom i
twil
ldome
good.
~~
.
.
Iopenedthedoorf
orthelawyerandl
ethimin
becausehewasgoingtoreadKing'
swil
l.He
shookmyhandandIwal kedhiminsi
dethe
l
ounge.

Si
si
pho:
I'
ll
bei
nmyr
oom.
Shesaidgett
ingupwithhermater
ial
s.Lona
washelpi
ngherpicktheint
eri
ordesi
gnsforher
newstorehereinCapeTown.MrKumar ,
the
l
awyersatdownandwebot hl
ookedathim.

Kumar
:ist
hisev
ery
one?
Me:
other
swentbackhome.
Kumar:
okay,f
ir
standforemosti
woul
dli
ket
o
sayI
'
m sorr
yforyourl
oss.
Me:
thanky
ou.

Hestart
edtal
kingandhetol
dusIgotthehouse,
Lonagotthecarandthemoneywoul
dbe
shar
edbetweenthefamil
y.I
ntheport
ionme
andLona30%each.DabsandDadgot10%
eachandmom got20%.
Kumar:andhewant
edmet
ogi
veLel
onaDani
el
thi
slet
ter
.

Lonatookt
hel
ett
erandt
hatwasi
tsoIwal
ked
hi
m out.

Me:Iwantyoutogothr
oughacont
ractIwi
l
l
br
ingi
ttoyoutomorr
ow.
Kumar
:seey
out
hen.Agai
n,I
'
m sor
ryf
ory
our
l
oss

Inoddedthenhewal kedout
.WhenIwentback
tothelounge,Lonawasputt
inganot
herCDin
theDVDpl ayer.

Me:
Ifor
gotaboutt
hat
.
Lona:
whati
sit
?
Me:
you'
l
lhav
etowat
chandsee.
Kinghadt hisideahesawi namov i
eLona
forcedust owat ch,TheUlti
mateGift,t
hatwhen
wedi ewemakeav i
deotalki
ngsoshe'dknow
thatev er
y t
hi ngisgoingtobeokay ,
andshe
shouldn'tbedepr essed.Wediditli
kelastyear
orsomet hing.AndI '
m gl
adwedi ditbecause
we'llneedi tmor ethanever.Ial
somademi ne
butshe' l
lonl ygetitwhenIdie.Wewat chedthe
videoandshehadt hi
ssmi l
eonherwhi l
e
wipinghert ears.

King:okay,Igotthisst upidi
deaf r
om that
horri
blemov i
ewewat ched,TheUl t
imateGift
,
andIthoughtt hi
swoul dhelpy ououtknowing
howf ragi
l
ey ouar e,Iknowy ou'
resti
ll
cryi
ng
aboutmydeat h*chuckl es*Iloveyouli
lsi
sand
Iknowy ou'r
egoi ngtomakei t
.MeandMul ler
havebeensohar dony oubecausewewanty ou
todowel l
.Br o,Khaziml aIknowi t'
sgonnabe
hardhandl
i
ngt
hatspoi
l
tgi
rlwepr
act
ical
l
y
rai
sed.
..

MeandLonacoul
dn'
thel
pbutl
augh.

King:sinceIwasy ourbr ain.NiggaIwonder

whatt hefuckar ey ougoi ngt odowi thoutme
*l
aughs*butdon' tbet oohar donher ,Idon't
wantnoboy sforhert hough.ButIst i
llwanther
happy.Gr aduatef orthe3ofusLona, makeme
proudokay ?Don' tbesadI 'm gonebecauseI
willal
way sbeiny ourhugehear t.*chuckles*
watchov erMul l
ert oo, youknowhowheget s.
Heneedssomeonet oputhi mi ncheckt oo
*l
aughs*Il ovey ouguy s.Everythingwillbefine,
nowst opt hosef ucki
ngt ears.Byeguy s.
*l
aughs* .

Hel
ookedatsomeoneel
senotdi
rect
lyatt
he
camer
anowt
henhesai
d.

Ki
ng:okay,I
'm donenow.HozaMul
l
er!(
Come
Mull
er)*chuckles*

Thev ideocamet oanendandLonawi pedher

tearschucklingshecameandsatnextt ome,
shegav emeahugandIsmi ledbecauseIknow
thev i
deowor ked,Ihopesher eactsbett
ertohi
s
deathnow.Wedi dthosevideost hebeginni
ng
oflasty earandI '
m gladwedid.

Lona:
it'
sgonnabeokay
..
.

Eveninpai
nshegavemeasweetsmi l
e.Iknow
i
t'
sgonnabeokay,wit
htheclubandev
erythi
ng.
I
t'
stimefornewbegi
nnings.
[
02/
18,
07:
10]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT5
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Thef oll
owingmor ni
ngIwokeup, feel
ingbet ter
thany est
er day.Iclosedmyl aptopandpl aced
ont hedashboar dwhi lechargingit.Islept
wat chi
ngt hev i
deoal otoftimesy ester day.
Aftermymor ni
nghy gieneroutine,Iwor emy
blacktankt opwi t
hbl ackjeansandsomebl ack
Nikesneaker s.Itiedmyhai rinatightbun.I
wor emy' Chek'blackandwhi teshirtbuti t
wasn'tbut t
oned.ThenIf inishedmyl ookwi th
sunglassesSi si
phoboughtf orme.Ial sowor e
theearringssheboughtf ormeanddeci ded
thatIwasr eadyforschool .Iknowt odaywi l
lbe
veryhar despeciall
ywi t
hhowmyJunehol i
days
havebeenbutIknowIcanpul lt
hisof f
.Ilosta
l
otofwei ghtbutIknewIst il
l wantedt ohitthe
gym,t alktomyt herapi
standv i
sitZaylike
everyday .Iwalkeddownst airsandIat esome
cereal,
Mul lercamedownst airswear i
ngsome
blackt-shir
twi t
hbl ackjeansandhehadon
blackJor dans.

Mul
l
er:
you'
reupear
ly.
Me:
var
sit
yisr
eopeni
ng
Mul
l
er:
almostf
orgotaboutt
hat
.
Me:ify
oudon'
tmi
ndmeaski
ng,
wher
eisKi
ng'
s
car
?
Mul
l
er:
alr
eadyexci
tedaboutdr
ivi
ngi
t
*
chuckl
es*
Me:
somet
hingl
i
ket
hat*
smi
l
es*
Mull
er:
Iwenttothehospi
tal
andgoti
t,l
i
kel
ast
week.I
t'
sst
il
louroldhome.
Me:speaki
ngofthat
.Whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo
wi
ththehouse?
Mul
l
er:
probabl
ysel
li
t.
Me:Ili
kestay
ingwi
thSi
sipho.I
tst
rengt
hens
ourbond.
Mull
er:
ifshedoesn'
tmi
ndwe'
l
lst
ayher
eabi
t
l
onger.

Inoddedandf i
nishedupeat
ing.Mul
lermade
sureItookmydepr essi
onpi
ll
sthenhedrove
meof ftothecampus.

Mul
l
er:
youdi
dn'
tl
eav
eyourphone?
Me:
shi
t!It
hinkIdi
d.
Mull
er:y
ou'
l
lcal
lthr
oughCar
do'
sphonewhen
youneedme.
Me:
okay
,lov
eyou.
Mul
l
er:
lov
eyout
oo.

ThenIsteppedoutt
hecar.Iwenti
nsi
dethe
varsi
tyhopi
ngnothi
ngwil
lmakemesadt oday
.I
needjustonegooddayi
nmyl if
eri
ghtnow.
~~
Il
aughedsohardatCardoannoyingthelibr
ary
st
udentswi
thhisstupi
ddances.Istart
ed
wi
pingmytearslooki
ngathi
m andhol dingmy
st
omach.

Me:
woul
dyoust
op!
?*l
aughs*
Car
do:
bruhIsweart
hat
'showshedances.

Ihel
dmyl
aught
eri
nashet
oldmeaboutSoso'
s
baddanci
ngandt
hef
unpar
twashi
mimi
tat
ing
her
.

Car
do:she'
sgonnahav
emysonbr
eaki
nghi
s
ar
mt r
yingt
odab.

Il
aughedt oohar
dandl oud,andwewereboth
chasedouttheli
brar
y .Icoul
dn'
tst
oplaughi
ng
athim bei
ngsostupid.Ihel
dmybagsand
l
ookedathi m.

Me:
seewhaty
oudi
d!*
smi
l
es*
Car
do:
it'
sgoodseei
ngy
ousmi
l
eki
d.
Me:i
t'
shar
dnott
oowi
thy
oubei
ngsost
upi
d.
*
chuckl
es*
Car
do:
how'
sRel
l
ik?
Me:he'
ssti
ll
thesamesadl
y,butIv
isi
thi
mli
ke
ev
eryday.
Car
do:
ift
hat
'snotl
oveIdon'
tknowwhati
s.

Ichuckl
edthenwesawt hi
sgirlt
hathadthe
worstbodyever
.Iwasn'
tgoingtosayanythi
ng
becauseIdon'
tl
ikebul
ly
ing,shewinkedat
Cardo.Andshewalkedaway .

Car
do:di
dIj
ustseeaP?

Il
aughedsohar d,thenIsmackedhi
m wit
hmy
smallbackpack!Thegir
lwastall
wit
hbigboobs,
noassandshewasv er
ythi
n.Shewasbasical
l
y
shapedli
keaP.Shehadt hatWendyWil
li
ams
body.

Me:st
op!No.I
'
m nott
aki
ngpar
tinanybul
l
ying.
*
chuckl
es*
Car
do:
let
'sj
ustgety
ouhome.*
chuckl
es*
Me:
actual
lygiv
emey ourphone,
Ihavet
ocal
l
Mul
lert
ofetchmet henwe'regoi
ngti
memy
t
her
apysessionthenI'
mv isi
ti
ngZay.

Hegavemehi sphone,andIcoul
dseeDyl
an
wasthewall
paper.Helookedsocutei
nhis
under
wearandt-shi
rtwit
hhiscut
ecurl
s.

Me:
I'
m sadImi
ssedhi
sbi
rt
hday
.
Car
do:
they
'l
lbepl
ent
ymor
e.Don'
twor
ry.

Inoddedandt
henIproceededcal
l
ingMul
l
erhe
pickedupt
hecal
laf
ter4rings.

Me:
I'
m al
ldone.Orar
eyoubusy
?
Mull
er:nah.Iwasj
ustdr
oppi
ngof
fthese
paper
st oGhost.I
'
llbet
her
enownow.
Me:
whi
chpaper
s?
Mul
ler
:I'
l
llety
ouknowwhenev
ery
thi
nggoes
wel
l
.
Me:
okay
,hur
ryuporI
'
llbel
ate.
Mul
l
er:
okay
.*chuckl
es*

Webot hhungupandIgav
eCar
dobackhis
phone.Iwalkedwi
thhi
mtowai
tforMul
l
er
outsi
de.

Me:youshoul
dbri
ngDyl
anoverf
orthe
weekend.Wel
ivewit
hmybi
ologi
cal
mot her
now
Car
di:
biol
ogi
cal
mot
her
?
Me:
it'
sal
ongst
ory
.
Car
do:I'
m sur
eiti
s.You'
l
ltel
lmeal
labouti
ton
WhatsApp.
Me:
ifIam nott
oot
ir
edt
oty
pe.
Car
do:
Voi
cenot
e.
Me:
fineni
ggadamn*
laughs*

Mul l
ercameandIsai dgoodby etoCar dothen
meandmul l
erwenttomyt her
apistformy
session.Ithi
nkthesessionsarehelpful
becauseIhav en'
tthoughtaboutsuici
deor
may bethepill
sarehelpi
ng.DrZwi der eal
l
yi s
thebest,shame.Iunderesti
mat edherbutshe
reall
yli
stenstowhatIsayandsomet imest hat
's
allIneed.
.
.
~~
-
-MULLERPOV-
-
.
.
Aft
ergi
vingt
heGhostt
hepaper
sanddroppi
ng
Lonaathert
her
api
stIwentt
ogocheckoutt
he
clubt hatwi ll
bemi nefrom nowon.Ismi led
l
ooki ngati t,ithadpot ent
ialtobegr eatIcould
renov ateitabi tbutitcouldr eall
yhelpme
fi
nanci ally
.Ican' tbelieveIact uall
yownacl ub,
therewasn' tany onei ntheclubj ustme.IknewI
wasgoi ngt ocal litKINGaf termybr other
becauseIwant edt ohonorhi m.Ilockedupand
decidedt ogof etchLona.Thi ngsmayr eall
ybe
l
ooki ngupf orme.Ij ustneedt ostayoutof
troublef oral ongt ime.WhenIf et
chedLona
shest ill
wasn' tdonesoIhadt owai tforher,i
t
didn'ttakel ongbecauseIwasscr olli
ngthrough
myphone.Ismi l
edwhenIsawher ,notears
today .Wewal kedoutandIdr ovehertothe
hospi tal
.

Me:
I'
ll
beback2hour
slat
er.That
'
sokay
?
Lona:
yes.

ShegotoutandIdr
oveof
ftol
ookf
orpeopl
eto
r
enov
atet
hecl
ubf
ori
t'
snewl
aunch.
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Igreetedsomeoft henur seswhoknewmeby
now.Asusual Iwenty ouhi sroom andsatt here
foryouf i
rst15mi nutesIt al
kedt ohi m,t henI
tookmybooksoutt ostudy .Ther easonIdoi t
hereisbecausewhenI 'm wi t
hhi mi nalway s
feelatpeaceandI 'l
lbeabl etof ocusev en
thoughi t
'shardbecausehei sn'tsay i
ng
anythingandI '
m usedt ohi m beingannoy i
ng
andsay ingthecutestthingst omakemesmi le.
Thef ull
2hour sendedwi thmest udyingand
him notwaki ngup.I'
m notl osinghopet hough,
thereasonwhyIchooset ost udyher eis
becausewhenhewakesupIwantt obet he
fi
rstonet obet here.He' sast r
ongper son.I
knowhe' ll
pullthrough.Ipackedupmybooks
andkissedhi scheeks.ThenIwal kedoutbef ore
Iwast oldti
mewasup.Out sideIcoul dsee
Mul l
er'
scar.Honest lyIam happyhesuppor ts
met hroughal l
oft his.IknowKi ng'sdeat hmust
behar donhi mt oo.Whenwear ri
vedhomei t
wasabi tl
ateandSi si
phowasal ready
preparingdinner.Sisiphowasamazi ngt hrough
theseweeks.Wi thIsiphoblami ngherf orKi ng'
s
deathandwant ingtopoi sonher .Ithinkshe' s
handlingallofthiswi thsomuchgr ace.That '
s
thetypeofpeaceandunbot heredbehav iourI
wanti nmyl i
fe.Sheal waysspreadsl ov eand
she'sanamazi ngper sontot al
kt o,Ilove
helpi
ngherwi t
hhernewshopshe' saboutt o
openher einCapeTown.

Si
si
pho:
howi
she?
Me:
sti
l
lthesame.
Si
si
pho:
itwi
l
lgetbet
ter
.
Me:
I'
m wi
l
li
ngt
owai
tforhi
mjustl
i
kehewoul
d
f
orme.
Si
si
pho:
that
'ssocut
e.

Ihel
pedherfini
shupcooking,wehadsomuch
funl
aughingandtalki
ng.Il
ovethatIhavea
goodsupportsyst
em tohelpmegetthrough
ever
ythi
ng.

Sisi
pho:gogetMul
l
erandt
ell
him di
nneri
s
ready.

Inoddedandrushedupstai
rs.Ifoundhim wit
h
mylaptopwatchi
ngt heKi
ngDVD.Ist oodon
thedoorfr
ameandl ethi
mf i
nish.Ishoul
d
suggestt
herapyforMull
erbecausehealsolost
Ki
ngj
ustli
kemeandhi m bot
tli
nguphis
emot
ionswon'tbegoodatal
l.I
twil
lonl
yhur
t
hi
minthelongrun.

Me:
dinneri
sready
.
Mul
l
er:
*si
ghs*I
'
llbet
her
einami
nut
e.

Inoddedandwaitedforhim.MaybeIshoul
d
suggesti
tnow.Iwasabi tscar
edbecauseI
'm
usedtotal
kingt
hroughKingandhe'dtel
lMull
er
whatIwantedorthought.

Me:
you'
reokay
?
Mul
l
er:
yeah.Justmi
ssi
ngt
heki
d.
Me:hey
,It
hinky
oushoul
dat
tendt
her
apyas
wel
l
.
Mul
l
er:
I'
ll
bef
ine.I
'
mfi
ne.
Me:
I'
mjustt
ryi
ngt
ohel
p.Bot
tl
ingupy
our
emot
ionswon'
thel
pitwil
lonl
yjustmakeit
wor
se.pl
easeatl
eastt
ryit
.Formeatleast
Mul
l
er:
you'
renotgonnal
ett
hisgohuh.
Me:
nope.I
'
llsetanappoi
ntmentf
ory
ou!
*
smil
es*
Mul
l
er:
let
'
sgoeatdi
nner
.

Hestoodupandwewalkeddownst
air
s.We
hel
pedSisi
phosetupt
hetabl
e.

Mul
l
er:
howwast
hef
ir
stdayback?
Me:ver
ygood!Car
dor
eal
l
ymadet
heday
*
chuckl
es*
Mull
er:
Idon'
tevenwantt
oknowwhatt
hati
diot
di
d*chuckl
es*

WesatdownandSi
siphopr
ayedforusthenwe
st
art
eddiggi
ngi
nonthewonderf
ulfood.
Sisi
pho: well
Ithi
nky ouguyswillbehappyto
l
earnt hestorei
sf i
nall
ymine.I
'l
lrenovat
eit
thenmov emyclothesinaft
erthatthecl
othi
ng
businessindustr
ywi l
lknowall
aboutAMOUR.
Mul
l
er:
whatt
hehel
ldoest
hatmean?*
laughs*
Si
si
pho:
*laughs*i
tsor
tameansl
ovei
t'
sfr
ench
Me:
it'
sacool
nicename.
Si
si
pho:
I'
mreal
l
yexci
tedabouti
t.

I
'm gl
adshehassomet hi
nggoingonaswel l
becauseshehasbeendownwi thKingbei
ng
dead,hermissi
nghusband,
seeingmydadf or
thefi
rstti
meinyear
s,andmymom anddabs
wanti
nghergone.Shedeservesthi
s.
~~
.
.
Theweekwentbyf astandonSat urdayIwent
tothegy m, wentt omysessi on, vi
sitedZayt hen
gotbackhomet opr epar eforNel l
a'sbirthday
party.Iwant edhert of eelspeci al.Ev enthough
there'llbeal otofRel li
k'sfriendst hereaski ng
meabouthi mt hatdoesn' tmeanIcan' thave
fun.Mul l
erwascomi ngwi t
hany onesohe' l
l
sensewhenI 'm uncomf ortableandj usttell
peopl et obackup.Si ncet heki dnappi ngI
hav en'tbeenoutal ot.IhopeIdon' tfreakouta
l
ot.Iwor emymar ooncr opt opwi thmyBl ue
ri
ppedj eanswi thblackf entypumasneaker s
andal ightpur pleshi rtthatwasunbut toned
withagol dneckl aceandgol dbi gear r
ing.Iti
ed
mybl ackweav et othesi deanddeci dedIwas
alldone.It ri
eddoi ngsomel i
ghtmakeupIsaw
onYouTubet henIwasdone.

Mul
l
er:
somebodywental
lout
.
Me:
wel
li
tismybestf
ri
end'
sbi
rt
hday*
sti
cks
t
ongueout
*
Mull
er:
*chuckl
es*l
et'
sjustgo.I
'm notev
en
goi
ngtocommentont heoutfi
tandmakeup.
Me:shepickedupoutandor
deredmet owear
i
t.Bir
thdaygir
lal
waysgetwhattheywant
*
smiles*
.
~~
.
Idi
dn'tdr
inkatall
becauseal
cohol
alway s
makesmebr av
eandmakesmedocr azythi
ngs.
IdancedwithNell
awhowasabi tt
ipsy.

Nel
la:
thankyouforcomi
ng.AndIl
ovemy
pr
esents!*
gri
ns*
Me:
you'
remybestf
ri
end.Iwoul
dn'
tmi
ssi
tfor
t
heworl
d.
Nel
l
a:Iwoul
d'
veunder
stoodi
fyouguy
sdi
dn'
t
come.Thanky
our
eal
l
y.
Me:
mypl
easur
egi
rl
!*chuckl
es*

MeandNell
abothgaspedf
eeli
ngsomethi
ng
col
donus.Il
ookedupanditwasRosa,
Vicki
wasbehi
ndher.

Nel
l
a:y
ou'
renoti
nvi
tedher
e

Ipul
l
edherabi
tbacksoshedoesn'
tst
art
fi
ght
ing.

Rosa:youthinktel
l
ingWiztobreakupwi
thme
will
reall
ymakeusbr eakup?You'r
edumber
thanIthought.
Nell
a:al
lIsai
dwasyou'
reahoethat
'
stheonl
y
r
easonwhyy ouwoul
dfucksomeoneel
sewhil
e
you'
rewit
hhim.
Rosa:wewer
eonabreak!Don'
tspeakon
anyt
hingy
ouknownot
hingabout!
Nel
l
a:wel
lIsai
dwhatIsai
d.Nowmov
eal
ong.

Ist
oodinbetweent
hem becausei
tlookedl
i
ke
Rosawasreadytof
ight
.

Me:guysreal
ly?We'r
eattr
acti
ngatt
ent
ion,st
op.
Nel
laiscel
ebrati
ngherday
,you'
renoti
nvi
ted
pl
easeleave.
Vi
cki
:shoul
dn'
tyoubemour
ning?*
chuckl
es*

Whenshesaidthat
,angerbuil
tupandifound
mysel
fpunchi
ngherandi pull
edhertot
he
gr
oundthat
'swhenthefightstar
ted.
[
02/
18,
07:
12]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT6
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Istart
edpunchi ngherasIwasont opofher .
Thef i
ghtdidn'tl
astforlongbecauseMul ler
pull
edmebackwhi l
eK9hel dVi cki.Icoul dsee
shewasbl eedingf r
om hernoseandl i
p.My
headwasi nsomuchpai nfrom herpul l
ingmy
hairalot,andIknewIhadscr atchesfrom her
nail
s.She'sreall
yasnobandI '
mt hanking
Mul l
erandKingt eachingmehowt odef end
my sel
f.Inev erwantt ofi
ghtbutsheaskedf or
i
t.I'l
lbedamnedi fIletherdisrespectKi ngli
ke
that.
Me:andt
henextt
imeyoutal
kaboutmybr
other
I
'l
ldomoret
hanrui
nyourf
ace,bi
tch!

IwassomadIwant edtogoandbeatherup
agai
n.IcouldseeNell
asti
l
lfi
ghti
ngwi t
hRosa
andIwassurpri
sedNell
acoul
dfightl
ikethat.
Mull
erpul
ledmet owar
dsthehousetosortthe
si
tuat
ionout.

Mul
l
ler
:whathappened?
Me:she'
sdisr
espectf
ulandIwantheroutof
her
ebeforeIbeatherassagai
n!
Mul
ler
:cal
m down.Letmeseey
ourhands
*
chuckl
es*

Helookedatmybr ui
sedknuckl
esthatwerei
n
somuchpai nfr
om punchi
ngthatbi
tchbutit
waswor t
hitbecauseIdon'
tl
ikeheranyway.
Nell
a:l
etmegoScr appy!Thathoewant st
oruin
mypartyIwil
lfuckherup!Whot hefuckdoes
shethi
nksheis!?Cl
earl
yshedoesn'tknowme,
I'
vebeentoonicewit
hthesecrustyhoes.

IcouldseeNellawasver
ypissed.Shewas
shouti
ngandt hrowi
nggl
asses,Iwouldbe
angrytooifsomeonerui
nedmybi rt
hday.

Scr
appy
:Nel
l
ayoubet
tersi
tthef
uckdownr
ight
now!
Nel
l
a:she-
Scr
appy
:I'
m notr
epeat
ingmy
sel
f,br
uh.

Nell
asatdownbr eathi
nghardIcoul
dseeshe
wasstil
langry.Scrappygav
ethebothofusi
ce
packs.Iplacedmineonmyhandsandonmy
f
acesomet
imes.Myf
acef
elthot
.

Mull
er:
youhav
eal
otofscr
atchesbuti
t'
snot
per
manent.
Me:Ican'
tbel
i
eveshewoul
dsaysomethi
ngso
i
nsensi
ti
ve.Wetal
kedandIapol
ogi
zedwhat
moredoesshewant?
Nella:shewantsustoactratchetandfightwit
h
them!That'swhattheywant.AndI'm okaywith
doingitagainsi
ncethey'
reforget
ti
ngwhatt ype
ofbitchIam!
Scr
appy:cany
oujustcal
m down.They
'r
egoi
ng
tol
eaveandwe'l
lenj
oythi
spart
y

Shesighedandpl
acedt
hei
cepackonher
hands.

Mul
l
er:
bot
hofy
oucal
m downandt
ell
uswhat
happened?
Me: Rosawasconf r
ont i
ngNella,
Iwastryi
ngto
stopthefi
ghtandVi ckisai
dsomet hi
ngtome
aboutmourning.AndIl osti
t,Ihadtopunchher.
Shewasaskingf ori
t ,
shereal
lywas.
Mull
er:alt
houghI'm gl
adyou'
restandingupfor
your
self.I'
m notlovi
ngthevi
olentthi
ng,whatif
shetookabot t
lethensmackedy ourheadwith
i
t?Whati fshegrabbedaknif
e?
me:
Iunder
stand.ButI
'
m notapol
ogi
sing.
Mul
l
er:
fucknoy
ou'
renot
.

Thef ourofusstartedlaughi
ng.Itwasweird
thatMul l
erwasgivingmepept alksaboutnot
fi
ght i
ngbecauseI'm usedtohim sayi
ngI
shouldf i
ghtever
yonet ogetwhatIwant.The
mat urehim wassur pr
isi
ngme.Iguesshe
real
iseswi t
houtKinghehast obemat ur
efor
thebot hofus.K9andWi zcameinthekit
chen.
K9:
yoNel
l
a.I
-
Nell
a:it
'sokayK9Iknowy oudon'tl
iket
hisbut
yourgir
lfr
iendVi
ckii
st hemostpett
yperson
everbecauseshewast heonl
yonet her
ewhenI
tal
kedtoWi zaboutRosa.She'
stryi
ngtostart
drama,andonedayi t
'sgoi
ngtocomebi teher
i
nherass.
Wi
z:t
ost
opt
hepet
tyf
ight
,we'
l
lleav
e.
Nel
l
a:youguy
scanst
ay.Theyshoul
dleav
e
t
hough.
Wiz:Ithinkthepar
tyisruinedanyway
.We
shouldleave.Seeyoulater,ki
d.
K9:
happybi
rt
hdayagai
n.*
hugsNel
l
a*
Wi
z:happybi
rt
hday
,ki
d.*
hugsNel
l
a*

Theybot
hcameandgav
emehugsaswel
l
Wiz:Idi
dn'
tev
enknowy
oucoul
dfi
ghtLona
*
laughs*
Me:
*laughs*shewasaski
ngf
ori
t

Wi
zlaughedt
hent
heywal
kedout
.

Nel
la:
Ihav
eknownthem l
onger
,theyshoul
d
br
eakupwitht
hosehoes.
Scrappy:*
chuckles*youcan'
tdeci
dewho
peopledate.That'
sbeingunf
air
.
~~
.
.
Webothwentbackhome, myhandswer ei
na
bi
tofpai
nbutbett
erthanbefore.Iwal
kedto
l
oungeandSisi
phowasf i
nali
singherst
ore
i
ssueswit
htheint
eri
ordesigner.
I
ssy
:whathappenedt
oyourf
ace!?
Me:Vickigav
emescr
atcheswhi
l
eIgav
eher
punches.
I
ssy
:canwehav
eamoment
?

Thei nteri
ordesi
gnernoddedandwalkedtothe
ki
tchen.Shepat tedthespotnextt
oherand
Mullerwal kedupstai
rs.It
hinkhewast
ir
edfrom
al
loft his.

I
ssy:you'
renott
hef
ight
ingt
ype.What
happened?
Me: shesai
dsomethingaboutmemour ni
ng
andIjuststar
tedf
eeli
ngveryangr
ythennext
thi
ngy ouknowwe'refi
ght
ing.
Issy:*
smil
es*Ilov
ethatyou'
rest
andingupfor
yoursel
fbutyoudon'
thav
et ogetyourpoi
nt
acrosswit
hviol
ence
me:
itf
eltgoodt
hough.
I
ssy
:*chuckl
es*I
'
m sur
eitdi
d
Me:
butthat
'smylastt
imefight
ing.Idon'
twant
t
obeseenasghettoorrat
chetbecausethat
'
s
t
heimpr
essi
ontheyalr
eadyhave.
I
ssy
:what
?
Me: t
hey'r
esuchsnobsandt hey '
rever
y
disr
espectfulespeci
all
yVicki.She'sbeen
wantingmet odosomet hi
ngt oher.Thef
irst
ti
meIsl appedhernowwef ought.It'
swhat
shewant edthoughsoIdon' tregreti
t.
I
ssy
:justcont
rol
yourangernextt
ime.
Me:Iwi
l
l.*
smil
es*whyi
syouri
nter
iordesi
gner
her
esolat
e?
I
ssy:wehavetochangethedesignsabit
becauset
hespaceisn'
twhatIthoughti
twoul
d
be
Me:
youknowt
heshopopensnextmont
hri
ght
?
I
ssy
:itwi
l
lber
eady
.
Me:
Ihopeso.

Isaidthatstandingup.WhenIwasont hestai
rs
shecalledheri nter
iordesi
gner
.Ithought
may beIwasshoul dgocheckonMul lerandhe
wasont hebedl ookingatsomedrawings.I
walkedcl oserandnot i
ceditwasdecorati
ons
foraclub.

Me:
youboughtacl
ub?
Mul
l
er:
Ghostgav
eitt
ome.
Me:
what
!?That
'ssosweetofhi
m.
Mull
er:
Iknow.I'
mthi
nki
ngofr
elaunchi
ngt
he
pl
acenextweek.
Me:what
!?WhenwasIgoi
ngy
ouknowabout
t
his?
Mul
l
er:
Iwant
edi
ttobeasur
pri
se.
Me:
itl
ooksbeaut
if
ul.
Mul
l
er:
Iam abi
tner
voust
ho.
Me:
why
?You'
l
ldogr
eat
.
Mull
er:Iknownothi
ngabouthandl
inga
busi
ness.All
I'
m goodati
srobbingbanks.
me:therear
eonli
necour
sesyoucant
ake.I
t'
s
bet
terthangi
vi
ngupsosoon.Iknowy
oucan
doit
.
Mul
l
er:
thankssi
s
~~
×6mont
hsl
ater×
.
.
Itwast he1stofDecemberandIf inishedmy
examsy ester
day.Aftermyhygiener outi
neI
wor emygy m cl
othesandwentt ot hegym.I
didn'tbotherwakingMullerupbecauseIknew
hewast ir
edfrom hisonli
nebusinesscour ses
andhandl ingt hecl ub.Buthe' sdoi ngpr etty
good.Idr ovemy selftot hegymi nKing' scar
whichwasmi nenow.Thel ast6mont hshad
beenpr et tygoodonme.Ihav el ostal otof
weightbutIst il
lwantt omai ntainmysl imt hick
body .Nel l
ai s4mont hspr egnantnow, andI
l
ov espendi ngal otoft imewi thherwhenshe' s
pregnant .Herbabybumpi sthecut est .Mul l
er '
s
club" KING"i sdoi ngsogood.Ev erydayi t's
packedt here, Ithinkheunder estimat edhi msel f
toomuch, hedi dn' tthinkhehadt hebr ai nst odo
i
t,butwi t
ht heonl inecour seshe' sdoinggr eat.
Sisi
pho' scl othingst orei t'
sbringinginal otof
moneyf orher ,she' sthi nki
ngofbr anchi ngout
toJozi andhi resomeonet olookaf terit .Rellik
i
sst il
l t
hesamesadl y, Iaskedt hedoct or sif
there'shopeofhi m ev erwaki ngup.Theysai d
theyisbuthe' dhav etopul lt
hrough.Ihopehe
does.Idon' timagi nel osinghi m.Ihav edeal t
withlosingKi ngev ent houghi tstil
lhur tsbutI
knowhewoul dn' twantmecr yingabouti tallthe
ti
me.Thev i
deohel psal ottoowhenImi sshim.
Aftert hegym sessi on,Ir eali
sedIl eftmyphone
athome.Ugh, Idon'tneedi tany way.Iqui ckl
y
wenthomet odomyhy giener outinesoIcan
vi
sitmybabyev enthoughhe' sinacomaIt al
k
tohi ml i
kehe' sstil
lhear i
ngmehopi nghe' d
wakeup.Iwor emy2pi ecebobt ube' chek'
pri
nt edwi t
hsomemat chingt ightpant s.ThenI
wor emyusual whitesneaker s.Iletmybl ack
weav eloose.WhenIt ookmyphoneof fmy
char gerIsawt heplentyofmi ssedcal lsf rom
Fif
i andNel la.Myhear tst artedbeat ingf ast,
scar edofwhati tmightbe.Iqui cklycal l
edFi f
i
becausemay bet hat'
sconcer ningRel l
ik.

Me:
tanni
e?I
sev
ery
thi
ngal
ri
ght
?
Fi
fi
:comet
othehospi
tal
qui
ck.

Idi
dn'tevenaski
ngmorequest
ionsIranoutt
he
house.Iwastooscar
edtoeveneat.Atthe
hospital
Icoul
dn'
tevengreetthenurses
becauseIwasinahur r
y.Ididn'
tseeanyonein
hisroom soIwasveryscared.If
eltsomeone
tappingmyshoul
der.Ilookedbackandi twasa
nurse.

Nur
se:
hehasbeenmov
ed.I
thappenedear
lyi
n
t
hemorni
ng.
Me:
what
?Why
?Wher
eishe?
Nurse:
*smil
es*he'
soffI
CU.ComeI
'
llshow
youwherewemov edhi
m.

Ismiledsohardbecausefinal
lysomet
hingver
y
goodi shappeni
ngtome.Sheshowedmehi s
room, andwhenIopenedthedoorIsawhi m
smil
ingatme.Ir antogivehim ahugwith
happyt ear
s.Buthewincedinpain.

Me:
I'
m sosor
ry!I
'
mjustsohappyt
oseey
ou,
don'
twor
ryt
hesear
ehappyt
ear
s*chuckl
es*

everyonei
nther
oom laughed.IsawFif
i,Ghost
,
ScrappyandNel
la.That
'swhytheycall
edme,
butIwastoobusyinthegym.Ishould'
ve
start
edhere!

Rel
l
ik:
somebodymi
ssedme.*
smi
l
es*

Heheldmyhandandki ssedit,
damnImissed
hi
stouch.Imissedhi
skisses.Imi
ssed
ev
eryt
hingabouthim.

Me:
youhav
ebeengonef
orl
i
ke7mont
hs.
Rel
l
ik:
Ihav
ebeent
old.*
chuckl
es*

Heheldmecl
osertothehospi
talbedwi
thhi
s
handsonmywaist
.Iwasblushi
ngbecausehe
wastooaff
ecti
onatei
nfr
ontofhi
stanni
eand
uncl
e.Hebithi
sli
psandl
ookedatme.

Rel
l
ik:
comeher
e.
Me:
*bl
ushes*noti
nfr
ontofev
ery
one.

Wewerespeaki
nginlowv oi
cesandev
ery
one
wasj
ustl
ookingatusjustsmil
i
ng.

Rel
li
k:okay,
ever
yoneout
.Iwantt
oki
ssmy
gi
rl
fr
iend.

myeyespoppedoutwi t
hmyf aceturningpi
nk
fr
om bl
ushing.Theygav euspriv
acyl aughi
ng
atRel
li
kbeingblunt.Oncetheycl
osedt hedoor,
Iwentl
owerandgav ehi
m akiss.Itl
asted
l
ongerthanIthoughtanditfel
tsogoodki ssi
ng
hi
m again.
Rell
i
k:aft
erIgetbet
tery
ouowemesomet
hing
that
'sl
ongoverdue.
Me:
what
'
sthat
?*chuckl
es*
Rel
l
ik:
somepussy
.

Icoul
dn'
thel
pbutl
augh.Hewasri
ght
,itwas
sort
asel
fi
shofmetonotgiv
ehimthecooki
e
andwehavesur
viv
edsomuch.

Me:
getbet
terf
ir
st.Thenwe'
l
lthi
nkaboutal
lof
t
hat
.
Rel
li
k:*smil
es*many
ou'
renotgoi
ngt
orest
.No
daybreak.
Me:youhavejustwokeupfrom acomayou
wereinfor7monthsandyou'r
ealr
eadyt
hinki
ng
aboutsex.
Rel
l
ik:
thoset
ightpant
sandcr
opt
opi
smaki
ng
met
hinkaboutf
ucki
ngy
ouhar
dunt
il
-
Me:
okay
!*l
aughsbl
ushi
ng*

Hebrushedmyass.Iwon' tli
eIf el
tsomet ype
ofway.Ilaughedtobrushitoff.I'
m even
scar
edofsex, whati
fhe'stoobigandi bl
eed?I
hear
dthathappens.Thatwoul dbet oo
embarr
assingforme.

Me:
okay
!*l
aughs*l
et'
schanget
het
opi
c.
Rel
li
k:whatdi
dImi
ss?*
laughs*Youhav
ebeen
saf
e?
Me:y
es.I'
mjustsohappyy
ou'
reback.Tooky
ou
l
ongenoughthough.
Rell
i
k:*chuckl
es*Ihear
dyouv
isi
tedme
ever
yday.
Me:I
'myourgi
rl
fri
end.Il
oveyou,
andeven
t
houghIwasn'
tthefi
rstoney
ousaw.I'
m happy
y
ou'
reback.
.
.
.
apologi
esI'
mr ushingthestor
ytogeti
tdone
becauseIdon'tl
ikelongseason2s ♥ but
anywayBAEI SBACK
[
02/
18,
07:
14]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT7
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
r
ell
i
k:y
oushoul
djoi
nmei
nher
e.
Me:
Iam notspendi
ngani
ghti
nahospi
tal
.
Rel
l
ik:
*chuckl
es*I
'
m say
inggetont
hebed.
Me:
whydi
dn'
tyouj
ustsayt
hat
?*smi
l
es*
Rel
l
ik:
Idi
dn'
treal
i
sey
ouwer
esl
ow.*
smi
l
es*

Ipoutedandhechuckl edatmypout .Het apped

myassandbr ushedit.Hehasbeent ouchingit
eversinceIgother e.Iknowit '
sbigbutohmy
goshcanhest op?If eelhor
ny .Andit'scrazy
thatI
'm actuallyopenaboutt hisbecauseI
usuall
yf eelshyandmov ehishandsbutsi nce
I'
m enjoyingtheaffectionhe'
sgi vi
ngme.I 'm
l
etti
nghi m dowhatev erhewant s.

Rel
l
ik:
geton.
Me:don'
tyouseehowsmal
lthi
sbedi
s?
*
laughs*
Rel
l
ik:
Idon'
tcar
e.asl
ongasy
ou'
renextt
ome.
Me:
stopi
t!*
smi
l
es*
Rel
l
ik:
Ijustmi
ssedy
oursmi
l
eal
otbabe.
Me:
you'
remaki
ngmebl
ushl
i
kecr
azy
.
Rel
l
ik:
Ihav
etomakesur
eyou'
real
way
ssmi
l
ing.
Me:
*smi
l
es*
..
.whatdi
dthedoct
orsay
?
Rel
l
kk:
regar
ding?
Me:yourheal
th?Whenar
eyoucomi
nghome?
St
uffli
kethat
.
Rel
li
k:*
chuckl
es*Ihav
en'
tbeenoutoft
he
comaforadayandbealr
eadyyouwantme
home.
Me:
yes!*
chuckl
es*
Rell
ik:I
'l
lbeusingawheel
chai
runt
ilmyl
egs
functi
onwell.*
sighs*
Me:I
'
llbet
her
etosuppor
tyout
hroughwhat
ev
er.
.
Rel
li
k:I
'
llneedphysi
other
apybuti
naf
ewweeks.
I
'l
lbeabl
et owalkonmyown.
Me:okay,atl
eastt
her
e'sst
il
lhopeofy
ou
wal
king.
Rel
l
ik:
Iwasal
soner
vousaboutt
hat
.
Me: ev
enifther
ewasn'
tIwoul
dst
il
lber
ightby
yourside.
Rel
l
ik:
*smi
l
es*man,
I'
mlucky
.
Me:
Ithi
nkI
'
mthel
uckyoneher
e.
Rel
l
ik:
*chuckl
es*l
i
stenbaby
..
..
Me:
yeah?
Rel
l
ik:
aboutKi
ng.
..
Me:Iknowy ouwould'
vedoneanythi
ngt o
pr
otecthim.Buthe'
sgone,andI
'vedealtwithi
t.
I
t'
sallgoi
ngt obeokay.Thankyouforsaving
Mull
erthough.Hetol
dmewhaty oudid.
Rel
li
k:hemust
'v
ebeenv
erypi
ssedwhenhe
wokeup.
Me: well
afterwelear
ntthenewsofyour
shooti
ng.Her espect
edy oumoref
orputt
ing
yourli
feindangertosav
emeandav enge
King'
sdeath.
Rel
l
ik:
how'
shedoi
ngbyt
heway
?
Me:hehasacl
ubnow.He'
sof
fthegamef
ora
whi
l
e.Heneedsthebr
eakany
way.
Rel
l
ik:
acl
ub?
Me:y
eah.Ghostgavehim aclub.Thenhefixed
ev
ery
thi
ngandrelaunchedit
.It'
sagoodclub.
Rel
li
k:wow,whowould'
vet
houghtMul
l
erwoul
d
wanttoownaclub.
Me:hesurpr
isedmet oo.I
'
m proudofhi
m
t
hough.He'sreal
lyaccompli
shingal
ot.I
t
houghtussell
ingthehousewouldbebadbut
i
t'
sactual
l
ygood.
Rel
li
k:y
ousol dyourhome?Wher
ear
eyou
st
ayi
ngrightnow?
Me:
wit
hsi
sipho.
Rel
l
ik:
shest
ayed?
Me:yeah.Ial
sot
houghtshe'
dgettooscared
andmov ebackt
oParisbutshe'
ssti
l
lhere.Her
shopAmourisdoingsogoodtoo.Herhusband
ehhnotasmuch.
Rel
l
ik:
*chuckl
es*.
..
.whathappened?

Ilookedathi m wei
rdl
ywhywouldhechuckleat
that.Ididn'twantt
ogivetoomuchthoughtinto
i
tsoIdi dn'tspeakaboutt
hat,Ij
ustexpl
ained
tohim whathappened.

Me:
hehasbeenMI
Anobodyknowswher
ehei
s.
Rel
l
ik:
that
'sf
uckedup.
Me:
ver
y.
Rel
l
ik:
whatabouty
ou?Howhav
eyoubeen?
Me:li
kehel
l
.ButIhavebeentaki
ngthepil
l
s,
get
ti
ngther
apyandfocusi
ngonschoolsoI'
ve
beenokayIguess.
Rel
l
ik:
not
roubl
e?
Me:nope.Ihav
ebeensaf
esur
pri
singl
y.I
'
m st
il
l
conf
usedhow.
Rel
l
ik:
ghostmust
'v
ehadpeopl
ewat
chov
ery
ou.
Me:Idon'
tnot
icepeopl
ewat
chi
ngme.Mustbe
God.
Rell
i
k:tr
ustme.Thepeopleghosthi r
estolook
aft
ersomeone.They'r
epr of
essionalguar
ds.
Youcan'tseet
hem buttheyalwaysmakesur e
you'
resafe.
Me:
yeah,maybehe'stheonewhoor gani
zed
t
hebodyguar
dsoutsideyourhospi
talr
oom al
l
t
heti
me.
Rel
l
ik:
yeah.
Me:
theynev
ert
alkt
hough.I
t'
swei
rd.
Rel
l
ik:
*laughs*t
hey
'r
eher
eondut
y.Nott
o
makefri
ends.
Me:
*smi
l
es*st
il
l.Al
i
ttl
ehel
l
owon'
tki
l
lnoone.

Bef
orehecoul
drespondthedooropenedand
Nel
lasmil
edatus.Ibl
ushed.
.

Nel
l
a:wehav
etogo.Vi
sit
inghour
sar
eov
er.
Me:
what
?Theyj
ustst
art
ed*
laughs*
Nell
a:nobutt
imefl
ewbyveryf
ast
.We'
l
lbe
backherei
ntheaf
ter
noon.Let
'
sgo.
Me:
okay
,letmesaygoodby
e.
Nell
a:don'
tdoanythi
ngnast
yinher
e.I
t'
sa
hospi
tal
.*laughs*
Rel
l
ik:
gett
hef
uckoutNel
l
a*chuckl
es*

MeandNellal
aughedathi
m.Thenshewalked
out
,Il
ookedathi
m andgavehim al
ongki
ss.
AndIt
hinkj
ustli
keme,hedidn'
twanttol
etgo.
Me:
I'
ll
bebackokay
?
Rel
l
ik:
ilov
eyou.
Me:
ilov
eyout
oo.

HeletsgoofmywaistandIwasabouttowork
outwhenhewhistl
edandmumbl eddamn.Iam
l
ovingthi
satt
ent
ionthi
soutf
ithasonhim.

Rel
l
ik:
andgohomest
rai
ght
.
Me:
why
?*chuckl
es*
Rel
li
k:Idon'
twantniggasl
ooki
ngatwhat
'
s
mine.Thatassi
slookingt
oogood.
Me:
byebabe*
laughs*
Rel
l
ik:
bye.

ThenIwal
kedout
,theot
her
swentt
osay
goodby
easwel
lthenwewal
kedout
.

Fi
fi
:hewassohappyt
oseey
ou.
Me:
I'
m al
sohappyt
oseehi
m.
Fi
fi
:youguysneedt
ohur
ryupandgi
veme
gr
andchi
ldr
en.

MyeyespoppedoutandIst
artedcoughi
ng.
Nel
l
alaughedatme.Idon'
tthi
nkI'
m evenready
f
orchi
ldr
en.

Me:Iwanttofi
nishv
arsi
tyf
ir
st.Thenwe'
l
lthi
nk
aboutchi
l
dren.
Fi
fi
:3morey
ear
s.Lor
d,Ihav
eal
ongt
imeof
wai
ti
ng.
Me:
*chuckl
es*t
hey
'l
lgobyf
ast
.You'
l
lsee
Fi
fi
:Ineedt
winsf
ort
hatmat
ter
.Not
ri
plet
sor
somethi
ng.
Igaspedandhel
dmychest .Ghostst
art
ed
l
aughinghar
d.ScrappyandNell
acoul
dn'
tstop
l
aughingaswell
.Twins?Tri
plet
s?I
ssano.

Me:
hayi
am notpr
omi
singt
hatone.*
laughs*
~~
.
.
Me:Ifeell
i
keI'
mr eady.Ishoul
dgogetan
cont
racept
ioni
njecti
on.
Nel
l
a:Ihear
dthatshi
tispai
nful
asf
uck.

Iwast ell
i
ngNel l
aaboutbei
ngreadyf orsex.
Butchildren?ThatI '
m notr
eadyf oratal
l.I
'm
sti
ll18may beinthenext3to4y earswhenI '
m
21or22butst ill
I'
dbet ooy
oung.Idon'twantt o
rushintochi l
drenthat
'sabi
gthingandki ds
needev er
yatt
enti
onaper sonhas.Ican'
tl
etmy
chil
dbeneglectedbecauseIhavetostudy.And
Ican'
tl
etmyst udiesgetaff
ect
edbecauseof
mychild.

Me:I'
m wi
li
ngtodoanyt
hingasl
ongasIdon'
t
getpr
egnanti
nvar
sit
y.
Nel
l
a:mul
l
erwoul
dbepi
ssed.
Me:
kil
lmeandt
hatf
etus.
Nel
l
a:*
laughs*gi
rl
!Whyar
eyoul
yi
ng?
Me:okayhewouldbeupsetbuthewoul
dn'
tki
l
l
me.*chuckl
es*
Nell
a:y
ourbr
otherl
ovesyoutodeat
h.Hewoul
d
notl
eadyoui
ntodeath*l
aughs*
Me:
*laughs*y
ou'
resocor
ny.
Nel
l
a:*
laughs*t
hatwasgood.Admi
titgi
rl
!
Me:
I'
ll
giv
eyoua5*
chuckl
es*
Nel
l
a:hat
er.
Me:shutup.Anywho.How'
sthef
ami
l
yfeel
i
ng
aboutt
hepregnancy
?
Nel
la:obvi
ouslytheydon'
tapprov
ebecauseof
hi
slif
estyl
eandwhatnot .Theyst
il
lthi
nkI
'm
makingthebiggestmist
akeofmyl i
febybei
ng
wit
hhim.
Me:
doesscr
appyknowt
heysayt
his?
Nel
l
a:gi
rlt
heysayi
ttohi
sface.
Me:
ouch.
Nell
a:that
'swhyIdeci
dedt
ogivet
hem abi
tof
abreak.Maybethey'
l
lcomear
oundwhenthe
babygetsborn.
Me:
whatar
eyouhopi
ngf
or?
Nel
l
a:aboy
.
Me:
scr
appy
?
Nel
l
a:agi
rl*
rol
l
sey
esl
aughi
ng*
Me:
whydon'
tyouwantagi
rl
?
Nel
l
a:y
ouseet
hewayhespoi
l
sme?I
fwehav
e
adaught
eri
twi
l
lbeapr
obl
em.DeadLor
d.
Me:awwaspoiledpr
incess.I
twoul
dbet
he
cut
estt
hingev
er .
Nel
l
a:st
oppl
ayi
ng.
Me:*l
aughs*ar
en'
tyouscar
edofpushi
ngt
he
babyout
?
Nel
l
a:t
hat
'st
heonl
ythi
ngt
hat
'
sgi
vi
ngmechi
l
ls.
Me:*laughs*I
'm pr
ett
ysur
eit
'sgoi
ngt
obe
pai
nfulasfuck.
Nel
l
a:don'
ttalkaboutpai
nwheny ousti
ll
hav
e
t
ohandl
eadi ckinsi
deofyou.*
laughs*
Me:
don'
tremi
ndme*
sighs*
Nell
a:andpleasedon'
tbeaf
rozenchi
cken,
hoe
*chuckl
es*
Me:
whatdoest
hatmean?
Nel
l
a:bei
ngsti
l
l.Doy ouseehowhar
diti
sto
moveafr
ozenchicken?
Icouldn'
tst
oplaughi
ng.Nel
l
ai ssocrazyI
didn'
teventhi
nkofthet
ermfrozenchi
cken.

Nel
l
a:sohav
eyouf
igur
edwheny
ouwantt
o
l
oseit
?
Me:
Idi
dn'
tsetadat
e.I
fithappensi
thappens.
Nell
a:youdon'
twantt
hecandl
es?And
ever
ythi
ng?
Me:Idon'
tknow.If
eel
li
ket
hey
'r
etooout
dat
ed?
Butt
hey'
recute.
Nel
l
a:soyouj
ustwantapl
ain"
let
'shav
esex"
f
oryourf
ir
stt
ime?
Me:
Ireal
l
ydon'
tknow.*
sighs*
.
.
.
-
-MULLER'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Il
ookedatt hefi
nanceswewer ehaving.Itis
goodmoneybutnott hetypeofamount sI'm
usedtoo.Thatonlymeantonething.Ineedto
speaktoGhost.Ican'tsur
viv
eoft hi
samount
ofmoney .Ical
l
edGhostandheanswer ed
quickl
y.

Me:
weneedt
otal
k.
Ghost
:I'
mli
steni
ng.
Me:
ihaveanideaf
ory
ou.I
tisconcer
nedabout
t
hebusi
ness.
Ghost
:okay
.
Me:I'
m wil
li
ngtomakeyouapartnersoyoucan
cl
eanthebloodmoneyt
hisway.ButI'
ll
needa
per
centagetoo.
Ghost
:youwantt
obei
nvol
vedi
nmoney
l
aunder
ing?
Me:
yes.
Ghost:okay
,I'
l
laskmylawy ert
odrawupa
cont
ractandwe'l
ltal
kproperl
ywhenIseey
ou.
Me:
cool
.

Webothhungup, andIdeci
dedtov i
deocall
LonabecauseIhaven'
theardfr
om her.Ial
ways
makesureshe'sokayifanhourgoesbywithout
meseeingortalki
ngtoher.

Lona:
bro?
Me:
wher
ear
eyou?Ev
ery
thi
ng'
sokay
?
Lona:y
eah.I
'
mjustchi
l
li
ngatNel
l
a'shome.
Rell
i
kwokeup.
Me:
what
?
Lona:
Iknowr
ight
!?*
smi
l
es*
Me:
youmustbehappyasf
uck.
Lona:
youhav
enoi
dea.
Me:
Ishoul
dgoseehi
mlat
eron
Lona:
I'
ll
seey
out
her
ethen.
Me:
cool
.By
e.
Lona:
bye.

Webot hhungupandIf
ini
shedl
ooki
ngatt
he
f
inances.Ihear
daknockonmydoor.

Me:
comei
n.

Thi
sgirlwalkedin.Shelookedbeauti
fulashell
.
Andshehadt hemostgoodbui l
tbody.Shewas
abitdark-
skinnedandIwasi nawelookingat
her
.Iclearedmyt hr
oatbecauseIwasnot i
cing
howhar dIwasst ar
ingather.
Me:
canIhel
pyou?
??:
I'
m Jayde.Iwantt
ohavemy23r
dbir
thday
part
yhere.SoIwanttor
entt
hewhol
ecl
ubf ora
ni
ght.

Iwassurpri
sedshewas23shel
ookedver
y
young.Li
keshewas16orsomet
hing.

Me:
ID?
Jay
:what
?
Me:
ID?Idon'
tbel
i
evey
ou'
re23.

Shechuckl
edandIsmiledatherbeaut
if
ulsmi
l
e.
Sheshowedmet heIDandshewasr eal
ly
tur
ning23nextweek.
Me:okay,l
et'
stal
kdeal
s.Doy ouwantt
he
whol
eplaceempty?Orthereshoul
dbesecuri
ty
andwe'l
lbeabl
etosell
alcoholt
othepeopl
e?
Jay
:Iwantthesecuri
tyandsel
li
ngal
cohol
deal
.
AndIdon'
twantuninvi
tedpeopl
eher
e.
Me:
goti
t.

Icoul
dseeshewast herichtype.Grewupwi t
h
ever
ythi
nghandedtoher.From herclot
hingand
herhair
,makeupev
erythingshelookedli
kea
snob.Butsheispr
ettythough.
[
02/
18,
07:
19]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT8
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Thef oll
owingweekswer ehar dwi ththe
wheel chai
randt hephy siotherapywasnoj oke
eit
her.ButnowI '
m ablet owal k,i
fIt akeitt
oo
farI'
l
l getpai
nsonmyl owerbackbutImake
suretot akemymedi cation.Wel l mywi fe
makessur e,
Itakemymedi cation.Iwasal ready
outoft hehospitalandIwasst ayingwi t
hmy
uncleandt anniesincet heydidn'twantt omet o
stayonmyown.Iwal keddownst airseven
thought hestai
rswer ehar dt owal kdowni n.I
mett annieFif
iinthekitchen, asal way s.

Me:thewayyoulov
ecookingandbaki
ngI'
m
sur
prisedy
ou'
renotacheforsomethi
ng.
Fi
fi
:*chuckl
es*boy
,hush.You'
rehungr
y?
Me:
nope.I
'
mthi
rst
ythough
Shegotmeor angejui
cewhi l
eIsatononeof
theki
tchenchai
rs.Shelookedatmedrinki
ng
thej
uiceandIknewshewant edt
osay
something.Isi
ghedandlookedather.

Me:
whati
sit
?
Fif
i:don'ty
outhi
nkit
'sabi
ttooear
lyf
ory
ounot
touset hewheel
chai
r?
Me:It
alkedt
omyphysiot
herapi
standhesaidi
t
wasfi
neaslongasIt
akeitextr
emelyeasy
.
Fi
fi
:okay.Iwasj
ustwor
ri
ed.Wheni
syournext
appoi
ntment?
Me:
lat
eronat16:
00pm.
Fi
fi
:I
'l
ldr
ivey
out
her
e.
Me:
Lonaal
readyv
olunt
eer
ed.
Fi
fi
:*smi
l
es*Il
ovet
hatgi
rlf
ory
ou.
Me:
Iknow.*
laughs*y
out
ell
met
hatev
ery
chancey
ouget
.
Fi
fi
:Ican'
thel
pit
.Shehaschangedy
oui
ntoa
bet
terper
son.
Me:
*smi
l
es*Iknow.Wher
e'sGhost
?
Fi
fi
:hewentt
oMul
l
er'
scl
ubt
odi
scuss
somethi
ngel
se
Me:
Mul
l
eri
sbacki
nthegame?
Fi
fi
:notent
ir
ely
.He'sj
ustdoi
ngsomet
hingt
o
makehim moremoney
.

Inoddedanddidn'
taskanyf urt
herquestions.I
am soreadytomov ebackinmyhouse.I 'm
evenreadytogetbackintobusiness.Thi
s
wheelchai
randwalkinginpainthingisnotmy
kindofsty
leandIdon'tl
ikeitonebit.Iheard
thedooropenandclose.

Lona:
tanni
e!?
Fi
fi
:ki
tchenbaby
.

Shecameintheki t
chenlooki
ngsogoodinthi
s
shor
twhit
eski r
tagreytuckedint
-shi
rtt
hena
whit
esi
milarjacket
.Shealsohadonwhite
ankl
eheelboots.

Me:
woooo!
Lona:
stopi
t*l
aughs*

Shecameandgav emeahug.Shesmell
edso
good,Iki
ssedherneckandshegi
ggl
ed.

Fi
fi
:okayt
hat
'senoughl
ove.
Me:
wher
ear
eyougoi
ngl
ooki
ngsobeaut
if
ul?
Lona:
Brandy'sbi
rthdaybr unch.AndIcame
heret
oaskt anni
et otel
lIssywher eIam,andI
'
ll
bebacklat
eron.
Me:
Issy
?
Lona:
sisi
pho.
Me:
letmegogetr
eady
.Wai
tforme.
Lona:
readyf
orwhat
?*chuckl
es*
Me:
thebi
rt
hdaybr
unchwe'
regoi
ngt
o.
Lona:ohmyGod.Youhaven'
tev
enf
ull
y
recov
eredy
et.*
laughs*
Me:Idon'
tcar
e.I'
m notl
ett
ingyoubet
his
beaut
if
ulandl
etni
ggasdroolov
erwhat
'smine
Lona:
youhav
e30mi
nut
es.
Me:
*laughs*andanhour
.
Lona:
justgogetr
eady
.

Iwalkedupthestai
rseventhoughitwashar dI
endedupbeingontopthenIchangedmy
cl
othessinceihadshoweredearl
ier.Iwore
greensweatpant
swithblacksneakers.It
ri
ed
putti
ngonmyGucci sweatshi
rtbutitwashard
withmybackbei nginsomuchpai n.If
ini
shed
offmyl ookof
fwi t
hmyGucci snapback.Itook
mypi l
lsandwalkeddownst ai
rs.Man, Ghost
needsofputanel evat
orinthi
shouseor
something.Thisispainf
ulashell.Idrankthe
pi
llsandLonalookedatme.

Me:
I'
mfi
ne.
Lona:
clear
lyy
ou'
rei
npai
n.Whydon'
tyoust
ay?
Me:
iwantt
obet
her
ewi
thy
ou.
Lona:
stopthat.You'
recl
ear
lyi
npai
n.Stayat
home.I'
m notgoingt
oenter
tai
nanydudesat
thebr
unch.
Me:
lel
ona.Ij
ustsai
dI'
mfi
ne.

Shetookoutherphonefrom hert
inypur
seand
star
teddial
l
ingsomethi
ng.Ilookedather
confusedwhatshewasdoing.
Lona:Br
andon?..
.I'
m sosorryIcan'
tmakeit,
somethi
ngcameup. .
..I
'
mr eall
ysorry
,I'
l
lbr
ing
youyourpr
esenttomorrowokay ?
..
.bye.

Shehangupandl ookedatmefoldi
ngherar
ms.
Iwal
kedclosert
oherbutitseemedlikemor
e
l
ikel
impi
ngbecauseIwasi npain.

Me:
youshoul
dn'
thav
edonet
hat
.
Lona:Idon'
tl
ikeseei
ngyouinpainsoI
probabl
ywouldn'
thaveenjoy
edthatpar
ty.Now
wehav eti
met ochi
ll
.Let
'sgowatchamov i
e.
Me:i
fIwasn'
ti
npain,Iwoul
dn'
ttol
dyou
anot
herwaywecouldchi
l
l.*
smir
ks*
Lona:
boyy
oucoul
dn'
thandl
eal
loft
his.

Shegotupandst
uckhert
onguei
nthesexi
est
wayev
er.If
oll
owedaf
terher
.

Me:
ohshi
t!I
t'
sli
ket
hathuh?*
laughs*
Lona:*l
aughs*shutupandl
et'
sgowat
cha
mov i
e.

Wewal kedt otheTVr oom, andshet urnedon

theTV.OnceIsatdown.Isi ghedandshesat
closertoldme.It ookherl egsandpl acedthem
onmyl ap.Iwant edtopl aywithher,soI
startedbrushinghert hi
ghs.Atf i
rstshetri
edto
actlikeshedi dn'
tcare.ThenIcoul dseeshe
wasbr eathingabi theavy,andshewas
definit
elyfeeli
ngthepr essure.Ij
ustgr i
nned
knowt het ypeofpowerIhav eoverherbody .

Lona:
stopt
hat
.*smi
l
es*
me:
stopwhat
?*chuckl
es*
Shesmi l
edandl ickedherl i
ps.It ol
dhert osit
onmyl ap,andwewer eki ssingli
kecr azy.She
surpr
isedmewhenshet ookof fmysweat shi
rt
soIwental ongknowi ngt hisisthetime.I
removedherj acketsti
llkissingher.Shekept
runni
ngherhandsar oundmybody ,smi l
i
ngi n
theki
ss.Iremov edhergr eyt-shi
rt.

Fi
fi
:noti
nmycut
ecouches!
Lona:
ohmyGod!

Lonaqui
ckl
ygotoffandworehert-
shi
rt
.I
gl
aredatFi
fiIwassofucki
ngcl
ose!

Me:
whatdoy
ouwant
?

Lonapl
ayf
ull
ysl
appedmyar
m.ButIwasdead
seri
ous.Iwasabouttogetsomepussyand
she'
shererui
ningever
ythi
ng.

Fi
fi
:i
tismyhouse.
Me:
tanni
e.*
annoy
ed*
Fif
i:Il
eftmywal
letandphoneupst
air
s.Don'
t
fuckinmycouches.

Shelaughedwalki
ngupst
air
s.Lonawasso
embarrassedIcoul
dseei
tfrom herf
ace.I
broughthercl
osert
omeandki ssedherneck.

Lona:y
ourauntsawust
ryi
ngt
ohav
esex,
Xavi
er.
Me:
sowhat
?It
'snotl
i
kewewer
enaked.
Lona:
butst
il
l.
Me:
okay
,howaboutwet
akei
tupst
air
sthen?
Lona:
no.Andy
ou'
rest
il
li
njur
edany
way
.

Isi
ghed,
fuckIcoul
dst
rangl
etanni
eri
ghtnow!
.
.
.
-
-MULLER'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Ifini
shedcountingupt hemoneyGhostgav e
me.I twasmyshar eofcl eaningt hemoney.I
hear dthehousebel l
ringmeani ngsomeone
want edtobeletinthey ard.Iquicklypl
aced
backt hemoneyi nt
ot hebagandIr ushedtomy
room tohidethebagi nmycl oset.WhenIwent
backdownst air
smyphoner angandIcoul dsee
from thecal
lerIDitwasJay de.MeandJay de
hav ebeenvi
bingal otbecauseshesai dshe
wasn'tthetypetobei nrel
ati
onships,thelast
onesfuckedherbad.Ij udgedherquickly
becauseshewasr eal
lyacool gi
rl
.Ev enthough
herfr
iendsar estuckup.Shewascool ,and
ri
ghtnowwe' rejustenjoyi
ngeachot hers
company ,andfuckingalot.

Me:
Jay
de.
Jay
de:
opent
hegat
e.I
t'
shotashel
l
.

Ijustsmi ledandwentt opresst hebut t

ont o
opent hegat e.Iwai t
edforherint helounge.
Andj ustlikeusual ,
shecamei nt heloungein
hershor tNi keshor tswit
haNi kel ongsleeve
cropt op.Herhai rwasin2br ai
ds, shewas
wear i
ngherNi keredsneakers.Shehadabl ack
Chanel pur sewi t
hher.Andshehadt hisIndi
an
thingonherf orehead.Ismiledlookingather
bellypiercing.
Me:
youl
ookgood.
Jay
de:
thanksKhazi
e.
Me:
Itol
dyout
ost
opcal
l
ingmet
hat
.
Jay:I
'
m notgoingt
o,sogi
veup.*
laughs*
.You
shoul
d'v
evisi
tedmeatmyhome.
Me:
Iwascaughtupatwor
k.Gotbusy
.

Shefol
dedherarms.AndIchuckl
ed,Igotup
andIwalkedcl
osert
oher.

Jay
:don'
twal
kanycl
oser
.I'
m madaty
ou.
Me:
real
l
y?
Jay
:yes.Nowst
op.

Ipi
ckedherupandki
ssedher
.Myhandswere
onherassandherl
egswerewrappedar
ound
me.Shemoanedi
ntot
heki
ss.

Me:
Ithoughty
ouwer
emadatme.*
smi
rks*
Jay
:can'
tbemadwheny
oudot
his.

Iwalkedwi t
hherupst ai rs.Shewast hinsoitt
o
wasn'tmuchofapr oblem.Shegi ggledwhenI
openedmydoor .It hrewheront hebedandshe
l
aughed.It ookof fmywhi tet -
shirtandmy
otherclothings, shesmi ledt akingof fhercrop
toprevealinghercut elittleboobs.Il i
ckedmy
l
ipsremov i
nghershor ts, andt hong.It hrew
them ont hef l
oor , Iturnedherar oundandshe
wasl ayi
ngonherst omach.Igr abbedherass,
andsmackedi tcausi nghert omoan.Theni
enteredintoherpussyf rom t heback, she
start
edmoani ngl oudl y.That 'swhent her hy
thm
came, andIst ar tedt hrust ingi nsi
deofherf ast
.
Shewasmoani ngl i
kecr azy,Ihadt ogosl ower,
shelookedbackatme, andIt ookt ochancet o
kisshersoshecant onedownt henoise.
Seeingitwaswor ki
ng, Istart
edent er
inghard.
Shecoul dn'
tev enkissmeany moreshehel don
thebedcov erherhandsbal l
ingint
ofists.She
placedherf acedownt ry
ingt otonedownher
moans.Ihel dherwai stf
or ci
ngitdown, nottoo
hardtohur therbutt omakeherar chherback
mor e.ThenIst ar
tedent eringfastagain.

Jay:ohmyGod!Ahhhhhh,
Khazi
mlaI
..
.fuck!
Ahh...y
es!

ThenIf el
therpussybei ngmoresli
ppery
meani ngshecame.whi l
eshewascummi ngI
smirkedandi ncreasedmyspedmaki ngher
scream.Iwentl owerkissedherneck,t
henher
backshoulder,Iplacedmyhandsnextt oher
shoulders;
eachsi de;t
heniusedthehands
bal
anci ngmyselfwhi l
eIwentslowerbutharder
.
Andr epeat
ingthesamemov ement3t i
meswi th
hermoaningloudIf
inal
lycamei nsi
deofher
,
aft
erIwasdoneIpulledout,shewasonbirt
h
contr
ol.t
henlai
dnexttoher.Shesmi l
edatme
andlai
dherheadonmychestwhi leIwas
gentl
yrubbi
ngherback.

Jay:
Isweareveryt
imewefucky
oual
way
s
knowwhatyou'r
edoing.

Icouldn'thel
pbutlaughatthatone.Jaydei
s
veryopenaboutst uffwhi
leI'
mthelaidback
andIdon' tli
ketal
kingaboutemoti
ons.She's
thetalkati
vetype.

Jay:
youmustbei
nat
rai
ningcl
assor
somethi
ng.
Me:*l
aughs*what
?Iseemydi
ckhasy
ou
t
alki
ngcrazy
.
Jay
:psstboypl
ease.Youdi
dn'
tev
endo
any
thi
ng.*
smi
l
es*
Me:that
'swhyy
ouwer
etr
yingt
orui
nmy
ear
drum.
Jay
:shutup!*
laughsbl
ushi
ng*
Me:
makeme.

Ibi
tmyli
p,makinghergetont op.Shesmir
ked
l
ookingi
ntomyeyes.Iwon'tli
e,fucki
ngJayde
i
sgood.VerygoodifI'
m beinghonest.
~~
.
.
.
After4roundsonthebedandt helastonei
n
theshower.Wewer ebot
ht i
red.Wecuddledin
thebedstil
lnaked,
wewer ebothtoolazytoget
dressed.
Jay:Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng.I
t'
sgoi
ngt
obel
ate
soon.
Me:
nah.Sl
eepher
e.

Ihel
dhertightbyherwai
standl
aidmyheadon
hershoul
der.

Jay
:whati
syoursi
sterandauntgoi
ngt
osay
?
NoIshoul
dgo.
Me:
theywon'
tsayany
thi
ng.
Jay
:but
-
Me:
nanakhal
aleman.(
Babypl
easesl
eep)
Jay
:whatdoest
hatmean?*
blushes*y
ousai
dit
sosexy
.
Me:
*laughs*i
tmeansgot
osl
eep.

Jaywasr
aisedbywhi
tesshedoesn'
tknowher
biologi
calparent
ssoshedoesn'
tspeakany
l
anguagesbesi desEngl
i
shandli
ttl
eAfri
kaans.I
thinkthat
'scute.

Jay
:okay
.*smi
l
es*

Icl
osedmyey es.AndIcouldf eel
herhandson
myl i
ps.Igotoffhershoulderandlaidonmy
pil
l
owl ooki
ngather .Shesmi l
edthiscutesmile.
Icouldn'
thel
pbutl augh.Shegot t
acl oserand
l
aidonmychestr unningherrunonmyabs.I
shookmyheadf all
ingint
osleep.
.
.
.
i
fthissexsceneget sreport
edthenwe'renot
gett
ingful
l detai
lsaboutLona'
sfi
rstti
me .
I
not herwor dsI'
m sayi
ngifyou'
re
uncomf or
tablewithsexscenespleasedon'
t
r
uinf
orot
herr
eader
s.♥
.
.
.
BOOKERSMEETJAYDE
[
02/
18,
07:
22]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT9
.
.
.
-
-MULLER'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwokeupwit
hJaydest
il
ll
ayi
nginmybare
chest
.Ismi
l
edlooki
ngather
.Shewasst
il
l
asl
eepandIgent l
yremov edherandgotupto
wearmyboxer sandmybasket bal
lshor
ts.She
wassti
llasleepsoIwalkeddownstai
rstodri
nk
somejuice.ThenIcamebackt oherweari
ng
hercl
othes.Herscentwasallovert
heroom

Jay:
Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng.Mypar
ent
shav
ebeen
cal
l
ingnon-
stop.
Me:*chuckl
es*t
hey
'r
ewor
ri
edaboutt
hei
rli
tt
le
gi
rl
.
Jay
:I'
m notl
i
ttl
e
Me:
you'
resur
e?

Ifol
dedmyar mssmi rki
ng.Jay'sparentstreat
herl
ikeababy .HenceIseewhyshe'sso
spoi
led.I
fshe'sgonef r
om thehouset oolong,
they
'l
lcal
lher.Ihaveneverseenparent sso
prot
ecti
ve.IknowI '
m nottheonetot alkbut
Lonaismylit
tlesist
erthat
'sverydi
fferent.
Jay
:justgi
vemeaki
ss,
andshutupabouty
our
opi
nion.

Ichuckl ed,shepeckedmyl ipsandIwal kedher

out .OnceIsawshewast otal
lygone.Iwal ked
backi nsidethehouse.Ineedt ogetmyown
crib.Li vi
ngwi t
hmyaunti scool butI
'm grown
andIneedmyownspace.May beIshoul dlook
athousescl osert othisplacesoI 'm notfar
awayf r
om Lona.Sowhenev ersheneedsme,
I'
m cl osert oher .Iwantmyownhousebecause
i
t'sawkwar dbr i
nginggi r
lsher eandhav i
ngt o
hidet hem f rom myaunt .IknowIsai dgirl
s,
honest l
yJay dei sn'tt
heonl ygirlIcasuallyfuck.
I'
m noti nar elati
onshi psohav ingfuni sn'
ta
problem.Jay desai ditherselfthatshedoesn' t
wantar elati
onshipweshoul djustvi
beandf uck.
I'
m notsur eifshehasot herniggassoI '
m
fuckingot herbitches.Iwentbackupst air
st o
l
aydownbef oreIgot otheclublat
eron.My
room smelledlikeJaydeal otmaki
ngme
chuckle.Idon'tknowi fherperf
umei sst
rong
orshel i
ter
all
yspr ay
edt heroom wit
hit.I
twasa
verystrongscent.Icall
edherandshequi ckl
y
repl
ied.

Me:di
dyouputper
fumei
nmyr
oom?
*
chuckl
es*
Jay
:yes.
Me:
why
?
Jay
:sothesegi
rl
scanknowt
obackof
fandI
'
m
her
etostay.
Me:
whatgi
rl
s?*
laughs*
Jay:
I'
m notdumb.Iknowyouhav
egi
rl
sont
he
si
de,yourt
extssayal
loft
hat
.
Me:
youcheckedmyphone?
Jay
:yes.
Me:
Jay
de*
sighs*
Jay:l
ookwe'
redat
ingnow.Soit
'snotokayf
or
them t
osendyounudesoranyt
ypeofsexual
shit
.
Me:
*laughs*whendi
dwest
artdat
ing?
Jay
:don'
tber
ude.
Me:
I'
m notbei
ngr
ude.I
'
mjustaski
ng.
Jay
:real
lyKhazi
mla?Youthi
nkIl
etguy
sfuck
mejustcasual
ly
?Ili
keyou.
Me:youneedtotr
ustmeifwe'r
egoingtobe
dat
ing.Checki
ngmyphoneisn'
tcool
.I'
m-
Jay:I
'v
ebeenhur tt
oomanyt i
mes,Khaziml
a.
Youknowt hi
s.Idon'
twantthesamethingt
o
happenoverandoveragai
n.
Me:
I'
m notl
i
key
ourexes.
Jay
:Iknowbut
-
Me:
somypr
ivacyshoul
dber
espect
ed.
Jay
:I'
m sor
ry.Ij
ustr
eal
l
yli
key
ouandIdon'
t
any
thi
ngt
ogowr
ong.

IsighedIdi dn'
tknowwhet hertobeupsetor
feel sorr
yf orher.It
'sfuckedt hatgi rl
swi l
lhave
afewbadr elati
onshipsandaut omat i
call
yall
guy saret hesame.IknowI '
mt hepl ayerandI
hav enor ightsayingthi s.ButIdof eelbadfor
Jay detobet hatbeautifulandst i
llhave
i
nsecur i
ti
esandnott rusty ourselfthatyou'r
e
beaut if
ulandenoughf oraguy .It
'sashame.
.
.
~~
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Ipacedupanddownl
ooki
ngatNel
l
awhoj
ust
hadt
hisamusi
ngsmi
l
eonher
.

Nel
l
a:woul
dyoust
opl
ooki
ngl
i
kecr
azyper
son.
me:okay,sowealmosthadsex!Iam notev
en
ont
hei nj
ecti
ony
et.
Nel
l
a:nott
heendoft
hewor
ld.*
laughs*
Me:
you'
renothel
ping!
Nel
l
a:si
tdownandt
ell
meev
ery
thi
ng.

Isatnextt
oheronmybed.I
twasv er
ylat
eand
Iaskedhertoj
oinmef
orasleepov
er.

Me:wewer esitt
ingonthecouch,
right
?Mi nd
youhe'sst
il
lfeel
ingbackpai
nsbuthebr ushes
mythighs.
Nel
l
a:gi
rl
!Hewant
edt
ofuck*
laughs*
Me:
li
sten*
laughs*nextt
hingIknowwe'
re
kissi
ngandthedemoncamei
nsi
deofme,
I
tookoffhi
sshir
t.
Nel
l
a:Lona!*
laughsl
oudl
y*
Me: It
houghtIwasreadyokay?!*
laughs*then
nextthi
nghappensIam shir
tl
essinmybr a,Fif
i
walksin.

Shescr
eamedt hencoveredhermouth.She
st
art
edlaughi
ng,li
kereall
ylaughi
nghol
dingher
st
omachandev enhadt ear
s.

Me:
it'
snotf
unny
.
Nel
l
a:whatdi
dshesay
?*smi
l
es*
Me:
weshoul
dn'
tfuckonhercut
ecouches-

BeforeIcoul
dev
enf i
nishshest
art
edl
aughi
ng
againmakingmelaughtoo.
Me:
Nel
l
ayou'
resupposedt
obeadv
isi
ngme.
Nel
l
a:onwhat
?Atl
easty
ouguy
swer
en'
tnaked.
Me:t
hat'
sthesamet hi
nghesai
d!I
t'
sst
il
l
embar
rassi
ngthough.
Nell
a:I
'm sureFif
i won'
tmindi
fyouguysfuckin
herhouse.Imean, shedoeswantyouguy
st o
gi
vehergr andchi
ldren.
Me:andshe'
sgoi
ngtobewaiti
ngforalong
ti
me.Ineedt
ogetonthei
nject
ionbef
oreIeven
sl
eepwithhi
m.
Nel
l
a:whydon'
tyouj
ustcont
racept
ivepi
l
ls?
Me:
*si
ghs*pi
l
lsev
ery
day
.
Nel
l
a:i
t'
sbet
tert
hant
hatpai
nful
inj
ect
ion.
Me:
you'
reki
ndar
ight
.
Nel
l
a:ort
akeaf
terpi
l
lsbef
ore24hour
shi
t.
Me:Ithi
nktheaf
terpi
l
lsonei
smor
eokay
.I
don'
tl
iketaki
ngpi
ll
sever
yday
.
Nel
l
a:at
ip,
it'
smor
epai
nful
wit
hacondom and
gi
rldur
ingsexdon'
ttal
kal
ot.*
chuckl
es*
Me:
whynot
?
Nell
a: i
t'
sgoingt obehell
aawkwar dwheny ou
thi
nkabouti t.Trustme.Andhe'sgoingtousei t
againstyou!* l
aughs*Scrappydoesthatallthe
ti
me!Ihat ethet hi
ngsIsayduringsex.Ineedto
buysomet apef ormymout h!
Me:
*laughs*i
t'
sthatbad?
Nell
a:tr
ustme,justdon'
tsayanything.Sti
ck
wit
hmoani nghisname.Andt omor rowwe're
goi
ngl i
ngeri
eshopping.Getsomecut e
underwear.Notthosegrandmathingsy ouwere.
Me:
*laughs*whatt
hehel
l
?Thosear
ecut
e.
Nel
l
a:goshno.
.
.
~
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
Afewday spassedandIwasmov i
ngbacki n
myoldhouse.Mybackwasmuchbet t
ernow.
Butiknewshouldn'
toverdoit
.I twasChr i
stmas
tomorrow,andwewereal l
goingt ohavedinner
atGhost'
shouse.Icall
edScr appybecauseI
wantedhimt of
il
lmeuponwhatImi ssedon
busi
ness.Iknowi t
'st
ooear l
yt ogetbackbutI
needtomakemor emoney .It'snotgoingto
makeitsel
f.

Scr
appy
:nj
aye'
game(
kingoft
hegame.
)
Me:
moj
ant
wana(
shar
pboy
)
Scr
appy
:smoko?(
Probl
em?
)
Me:
Ineedanupdat
eonwhatI
'
m mi
ssi
ng.
Scrappy:Ghostal
readyor
der
edmenottotel
l
youanythingunl
essheseesyouhav
eful
ly
recover
ed.
Me:
whyam Inotsur
pri
sed?*
laughs*
Scr
appy
:har
dent
wana.(
Sor
ryboy
)
Me:
moj
ant
wana(
shar
pboy
)

Webot hhungup.Idon' tmi ndGhostcari

ngfor
mebutheneedst ostopt reati
ngmel i
keIcan'
t
handlebusi
ness.YesIwasshotandi nacoma
butI'
m backnowandIneedt omakesur e
everyt
hingrunssmoot hlybecauseit
'sonlya
mat t
erofti
meIt akeov er.Iheardmydoor
beingopenedandcl osed.

Lona:
baby
!?
Me:
inmyr
oom!

Ishoutedback.Ipl
acedthebagonthefl
oor
l
ookingatmyr oom bei
ngclean.Themaid
real
lyworksgood.Ishoul
dgiveherar
aise.
Lona:
somebody
'shappyt
obeback.
Me:
youhav
enoi
dea.

Iturnedar oundandsmi rkedwhenIsawher

wear i
ngt hisshortf
lor
altightdresswit
ht hi
n
strapsoni t.Thisgi
rli
sbeggi ngmet ofuckher
,I
swear .Iwalkedclosertoherl i
cki
ngmyl i
ps.I
heldherwai stki
ssi
ngherneck.Shesmel l
s
goodal lthet i
me.

Me:
whoar
eyoul
ooki
ngcut
efor
?
Lona:
thi
sol
ddr
ess?*
blushes*
Me:damn.Tur
naroundandl
etmeseehow
beaut
if
uly
ouare.

Iheldherhandandmadeherturnaround.Man
thatassisreal
l
ysomethi
ngcrazyaboutmy
wife.Iunzi
ppedherdr
esski
sshershoulderand
creatinghi ckey sonherneck.Oncet hedress
wasi nt hef l
oor ,Icouldseeshehadnobr aon
andshehadonabl ackthong.Ibi tmyl i
p
smi l
ing.Ibr ushedherass, ev ensmacki ngi ta
bitmaki ngi tthej i
ggle.Ismi l
ed, Iturnedher
around.Andherboobswer einf ul
l displ
ay .I
playedwi t
hherl eftnippl
el ightlypinchedi t
maki nghermoan.Ismi rkedki ssingherand
l
eadi nghert othebed.Onceshel aidoni t
,I
quicklytookof fmywhi tet ankt op.Shesmi led
atme, Iremov edherheel shappyIwasf inally
getti
ngsomeact i
on.Iwentl owerandki ssed
her.Shecar essedmyneckandbody ,cr
eat i
ng
mor esexual emot i
oni nme.Iwentl owert o
suckonherboobs.Whi l
eIsuckedt her ight,I
madesur eIgr abbedwi t
ht hel eftroughl y.She
wasmoani ngcal l
ingmyname.AndIl ookedat
herfacest il
lsucki ng.Herf acewassobeaut i
ful
whenshewasmoani ng, Icoul dwat chitallday .
Iwentl owerki ssingherst omach, Itookof fher
thongandopenedherl egsabi twi der ,f
rom t he
l
ooksofi tshewaswet .Iranmyt ongueupand
downhercl it
.Shemoanedt ryi
ngtor un.Iheld
bothofhert hi
ghsandpr oceededgoi ngf ast
er.
Shewasmoani ngwhileclenchingint hebed
cover.Ilookedupatherandshewasl ooki
ngat
theceil
ingwi t
hhereyesclose, bi
ti
ngher
bottom li
p, moaningli
kecr azy.Isuckedonher
cli
thardmaki ngherscream thenshequi ckl
y
coveredhermout h.Thatmademechuckl eabit
thenIcont inuedmov i
ngmyt onguef astonher
pussy.

Lona:
Xav
ier
!Xav
ier
!Xav
ier
!Ahhhh!*
squeal
s*

Herlegsstart
edshaki
ng,andIfelthercum on
mytongue.Thatmademesmi l
e.Herkissed
herthi
ghs,andwentuptoherkissingherand
herneckagain.Shewasbreathi
ngf astandI
coul
dt el
lshelovedi
tbecauseshewassmi l
ing
socutely
.itookoffmysweatpantsandboxer s,
thenIt ookt hecondomsoutt hedrawer .Icould
seei tfrom herey esshewasscar edbecauseof
thesi ze.Ididn'twanttolaughandscar eher
mor e.SoIr anmyf ingersonherpussymaki ng
sureshe' sstil
lwetbecausethi
swi l
lreall
ybe
painful forher.Isuckedonherboobsand
kissedherchi ntryi
ngt oent
erinsi
deofher .She
quicklyjumpedmov ing.Ist
oodonmyknees,
bringingherback.Ihel doneofherthighsand
tri
edgoi nginagain,Icouldseeshewascl earl
y
i
npai nandwant i
ngt ocry.I
twastightasf uck.

Me:
shoul
dIr
emov
ethecondom?

Shenoddedpout i
ng.Iquickl
yremov editand
threwitonthefl
oor.It
ri
edagain,kissi
ngher
thisti
mesoshewon' tbet oofocusedont he
pain.Shetr
iedmovingsoshecoul drunaway
from meenteri
ngbutIheldherthighsti
ll
.She
openedhermout handherchestwentup.It ook
thi
sasachancetosuckherboobsagai
n.She
wassti
ll
inpai
nthough.Iwasalr
eadymidwayi
n,
andIwasmov i
ngsl
owlysoshecanadjustt
o
thesi
zebef
oreenj
oyingit
.

Me:
looki
ntomyey
es,
andr
elax
.
Lona:
it'
spai
nful
.
Me:
Iknow,butpl
easetr
ustmeandbeabi
ggi
rl
f
or3seconds?Pl
ease?

Shenodded, kissedme.ThenIent eredf ull

y,but
slowly.Shemoanedl oudly.Itsoundedl ikea
scream.Ilookedather ,
Idon' twantt olie.Iwas
l
ov i
nghowt ightherpussyi sonme.Ev en
thoughshewasi npai n,Idi
dn' twantthist ostop.
Imov edslowlybecauseIdi dn'twantt ohur ther.
Istart
edgroani ngbecauseIwasenj oyingi t
.It
's
beenawhi lesinceIhav ehadsex.Youcan' t
blameme.Shest ar
tedmoani ngtoobutcl earl
y
i
npai
n,Ismi
l
edbi
ti
ngherneckabi
t.

Me:
fuck,
Ilov
eyou.Okay
?
Lona:
i-.
..Il
ovey
out
oo.

Irepeatedmymov ementf orsomet i

meunt il
shecameagai n,thenI '
l
lfoll
owedr ightafterher.
Igroanedloudl ywhenIcamei nsideofher .Igot
offherandl aidnextt oherpulli
nghernextt o
meandwewer ebot hbodyheat ed.Ikissedher
forehead.Shewr appedherar msar oundme, I
knowshewasf eeli
ngt i
red.Sosi nceitwasher
fi
rstti
meI '
lllethersleepbutwhensheget sup.
I'
m hitt
ingitagain,herpussyf eelstoogoodf or
menott oenterinsideofitagain.
.
.
.
Ift
hesexsceneisn'
twhatyouexpect
ed.Don'
t
kil
lme hav ingsexfort
hefir
stti
mei spai
nful
,
Ihear
d.
[
02/
18,
07:
24]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT10
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Aft
eriranherabat h,andgaveherpainkil
l
ers
becauseshesaiditwaspai nf
ulpeeingandshe
wasinpainlikewalki
ngdi f
fer
ent.Ineverf
ucked
avir
ginbeforesoIdidn'tknowwhatt odo,soI
gaveherpainkil
l
ers.Iwaswor r
iedabouther,
shedidn'
tevenwanttowearanunder
wearsoI
gaveheroneofmyt -
shi
rt
sthenwewentto
sl
eep.Iyawnedwakingupanditwasl
ate
probabl
y22:00pm,Iwassur
pri
sedtoseeLona
l
ookingatme.Shewasawake.

Me:
you'
reokay
?

Shenodded,andIknewthi
swasgoi
ngt o
happen.Sheprobabl
yst
art
edf
eel
ingregret
.

Me:
babyt
alkt
ome.Don'
tshutmeout
.
Lona:Igav
ey oumymostpr
izedj
ewel
,pl
ease
don'
tplaywit
hme.
Me:hey !St
opthi
nki
ngli
kethat.We'
rest
uck
f
orever.YouknowIwouldneverhur
tyou
i
ntent
ionall
y.I
fIhur
tyouthenI'
dbehurt
ing
myself
.
Lona:
Ilov
eyousomuch,
Xav
ier
.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.

Ikissedher ,soshewoul dknowImeanti t.I

knowt hatshe'sscaredImi ghtl
eav
eheraf ter
hav i
ngsexbutIwoul dn't.Ihadt owaitf
or
almostay eartof i
nal
lysleepwi t
hher.She's
definit
elytheoneI 'm goingt omarr
y,theoneI
seemychi ldrenlooki
ngl ike.Theki
ssstarted
gettingheat ed,t
henIki ssedherneckwrappi ng
heronel egonmywai st

Lona:
it'
spai
nful
.
Me:
Ipr
omi
sei
twon'
tbeaspai
nful
ast
hef
ir
st.

Irubbedmydickonherpussy ,
anditwaswet
fr
om ourheatedkisses,shetookofft
het -
shi
rt
.
WhileIsl
owlyenteredinsi
deofher.Ipausedfor
alit
tl
ewhil
esoshecanadj ustagai
n.Istar
ted
mov i
ngsl owl y
.Thi stimear oundshewasn' t
j
umpyal ot.Thr ought hepr ocess, shest art
ed
moani ngasIshower edherboobsandshoul der
withkisses.Cr eatinglov ebi tesmar ki
ngmy
terr
itory.Imov edher ,soshecanl ayinherback
andIwasont op.Shehel dbot hofmyhands,
andourhandswer eintertwi nedwhi l
eIwas
goingi nandoutsl owlyandki ssi
ngherwhi le
shewasmoani ng,hermoansmat chesmy
groans.Thenshest artedmoani ngl oudly
mat chingmyr hythm Ismi ledbecauseshewas
fi
nal l
yenjoy ingi t
.Wer epeat edt hesame
mov ementandIknewIwoul dcum soIhadt o
makesur eshecamef i
rst,Ihel ditin.Ilovedthis
girlsomucht hatmaki nglov ewi thheri s
probabl ythebestt hingsIcoul ddo.She
remov edherhands, andwr appedt hem onmy
neckpul li
ngmecl oser .Ourbodi eswer eso
closeandconnect edIcoul df eelherbodyheat
onme.Shecame, moani ngr i
ghtinmyearso
sexyt hatIf oll
owedr ightaf terher .OnceIwas
fi
nishedr
eleasi
ngmyl oadinsi
deofher.Ipul
led
outandsmi l
edkissi
ngherforehead.Ipul
led
hernextt
ome, shechuckled.

Me:
isi
tst
il
lpai
nful
?
Lona:y
esbutnotwhenwe'r
ehav
ingi
t.The
pl
easurecov
ersthepai
n.

Inoddedsmili
ngather.If
ixedherhairwhi
ch
wasalloverherf
ace.Shesmi l
edbit
ingherl
ip.

Lona:y
ouhavet
ogetmemorni
ngaf
terpi
l
ls.I
don'
twantt
ogetpr
egnant
.
Me:
okay
,ear
lyi
nthemor
ning.
Lona:
now.
Me:wher
eam i
goi
ngt
ogett
hem nowbaby
?
*
chuckl
es*
Lona:
Xav
ierI
'
llf
orgeti
nthemor
ning.
Me:
I'
ll
remi
ndy
ou.

Shefol
dedherarmspouti
ng.Isi
ghedtaki
ngmy
phoneandcal
li
ngthedoctort
osupplymewit
h
aft
erpi
ll
s.

Doc:
Rel
l
ik.
Me:
Ineedaf
terpi
l
ls.
Doc:si
ncewhendi
dyoust
artf
ucki
ngbi
tches
raw?
Me:noquest
ions.Iexpectt
hem t
obeher
ein
anhour
.

Ihungupbeforehecoul
dr espond.Il
ookedat
Lona.Mywifecoul
dcontrolmeandIst i
l
l
coul
dn'tcar
eaboutanyt
hingelse.

Me:
ther
e'l
lbeher
einanhour
.
Lona:
thanky
oubaby
.
me:
Ihav eanot
herwayy
oucant
hankme.
*
smirks*
Lona:
ohmyGodno.*
chuckl
es*wej
usthadsex
now.
Me:babyyouhavet
ounderstand.Iwasi
n
hungerf
ora9monthsorso.Ijustwantt
o
makelovetoyouev
erychanceIget
Lona:
letmeheal
fir
stbef
orey
oust
artpoundi
ng
i
nmeagai n.

Webot hlaughed.Wejuststar
tedgoof i
ngoff,
fucki
ng,andtalki
nginbetweenabout
every
thi
ng.Thedoct orcamewi t
ht hepil
lsand
shedrankthem thenwewer eofftosleepagain
at5am
.
.
~~
-
-MULLER'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwokeupat9am.I twasst illempt yinthehouse
soIf iguredLonaisatRel l
ik'shouseand
Sisiphoi satherstore.IhopeLonai sn't
sleepingwi thhimy et,becauseIdon' tli
keher
sleepingov erther
e.Myphoner angagain,andI
sighedl ookingatthecal l
erI D.Itwasmom andI
knewshewasgoi ngt obenaggi ngmeabout
Chr i
stmas.I twastodayandIhadnopl ansof
returninghomeaf terknowi ngwhatshedi d.I
can'ttrustheratall.Iendedupanswer i
ngthe
call,may beit'
saboutsomet hingserious.

Me:
ma?
Mama:
Khazi
mla,
ufunaundi
xel
elaawubuyikul
o
ny
akaf
ori
Chri
s'
mesi(Khazi
mlaareyoutr
ying
tot
ell
i
ngmeyou'
renotr
etuni
ngt
hisy
earf
or
Chr
ist
mas?
)
Me:hayiungekavumi i
zenzozakhoanduxol
i
se
kuMakaziuSisi
pho(notunti
lyouownuptoyour
act
ionsandapologi
zetoAuntSi si
pho.
)

ShekeptquietandIknewshewasupset.That
meantonlyonet hi
ng.She'
sgoi
ngtocr
yandt r
y
usi
ngtheemot ionalbl
ackmai
lonme.

Mama: yaziyi
ntoKhazimla?Ku'ri
ghtmnt anam
ulumkel
eungazisoli
ngezintouzenzayo.
Ukhethayenakodwandi m owakuzalayo.Ndi m
owavaintl
unguzokwenza!* cri
es*(Youknow
whatKhazimla?It
'sokaymychi ldbutbecar eful
youdon'tendupregrett
ingwhaty ou'
redoi ng.
You'r
echoosingherbuti gavebir
thtoy ou.I
wastheonewhof el
tthepainofmaki ngy ou.)
Shecri
edveryhardIhadt
oputthephonedown
butidi
dn'
thangup.Shewasmakingsucha
noi
seanditwasr eal
l
yaff
ect
ingme.Isighed
maybesheshouldcometoCapeTownsoshe
cansortt
histhi
ngshehaswithSi
sipho.

Me:I'
l
lgett
icket
sforthef
amil
y.Weneedt
o
sol
vethi
sthingonceandf
oral
l.
Mama: f
unekanay eaqal
eaxol iseforut
hat
ha
i
ndodayam sogqibaway izal
ela.(Sheal
so
needst
oapologiseforsleepingwi t
hmyman
thengi
vi
nghim achild.)
Me:mamaawuna17y ekaukuzi
phat
ha
okomtwana.(
Mamayou'renot17st
op
behav
ingli
keachi
l
d.)

Thenshestartedshout
ingbecauseIwasrude.I
decidedt
ohangupandIpl acedmyphonei n
fl
ightmode.Idon'
tneedallt
heunnecessar
y
bull
shi t
.IknowIhav enor i
ghtspeakingt omy
mot herliket hatbutsomet i
messher eal
lyget s
onmyner ves.Andi fsheletsmet al
kt oherlike
that,Iguessi t'
snotabi gdeal.Ididn'
tknow
whatIwoul ddobecausewehadt oat t
enda
Christmasdi nneratGhost 'shouseandi twoul d
beinappr opr iatef ormet obr i
ngmymom t here.
Ididn'tknowwhet hertonotbuyt het i
cketsand
i
gnor etheircal l
sorbuyt hem butletthem stay
atahot el.Iopt edf oropti
on1soIwasn' tgoing
tobuyt het icket sandIwasgoi ngtoignoretheir
call
s.Myphoner angandi i
mmedi atelysmi l
ed
l
ooki ngatJay de'
snamepopup.

Me:
baby
.
Jay
:Icoul
dgetusedt
othi
s.
Me:
what
?*l
aughs*
Jay
:youcal
l
ingmebaby
.
Me:
*laughs*Ial
way
scal
l
edy
out
hat
.
Jay:mhhh.Sowhatar
eyourChr
ist
maspl
ans
babe?
Me:
fami
l
ydi
nner
.
Jay
:luckyy
ou.
Me:
yourpl
ans?
Jay:par
ent
sbail
edoutbecausetheyhadt
o
att
endtomysickgr
andmai nAustral
i
a.
Me:
soy
ou'
real
lal
onef
orChr
ist
mas.
Jay
:yes.*
sighs*
Me:
whydi
dn'
tyougowi
tht
hem?
Jay:di
dn'tf
eell
i
kespendi
ngmyChr
ist
masi
na
hospit
alall
thewayi
nAustral
i
a.
Me:well
howdoyouf
eel
li
kespendi
ngy
our
Chr
ist
masli
ke?
Jay
:wi
thmybabe.
Me:*chuckl
es*comet
omyf
ami
l
yChr
ist
mas
di
nner.
Jay
:no!Babycan'
tyoucancel
andhangwi
th
meinst
ead?
Me:*l
aughs*many ou'
retoospoil
ed.I
'
m not
doi
ngthat
.It
'sei
theryou'
recomingoryou'
l
lbe
al
one.
Jay
:Idon'
tl
ikey
oubei
ngmean.
Me:
that
'swhyy
ou'
rest
il
lst
uckwi
thme.

Shelaughed.IthinkIli
keJaydeev enwithher
spoil
edtendenci
es.I'
m usedtogirl
salready
call
i
ngmeaski ngmef ormoneybutshehasher
owni t
'sj
ustsomethingdif
fer
entabouther .She
l
ikesmebecauseIcanputheri ncheckandI
alwaysbri
ngherdownt oearth,andIli
keher
becauseshejusthasthatenergythatcankeep
mecal m.

Jay:
whatti
meshouldIber
eady
?Whatshoul
d
Iwear?I
sn'
ti
ttooear
lyt
omeetthef
ami
l
y?
May
beIshoul
dn'
tgo.
Me:
Jay
...
Jay
:yes?
Me:you'
regoi
ngevenify
ou'
reinsweat
s.I
'
m
goi
ngtodragyououtoft
hathouse.

Shelaughedmakingmechuckl
e.Iknowit
'st
oo
ear
lyforhertomeett
hefamil
ybuthonest
lyI
hadagoodf eel
i
ngabouther
.
.
.
~~
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Iwal
kedi
nsi
det
hehouseandIt
ri
edt
ipt
oei
ng
upstai
rs.Itwas12: 00pm andal lmeandXav i
er
havebeendoi ngismaki nglove.Iwassot i
red
andinpai n.Ijustwant edal ongbath.Luckil
yI
wasn'tfoundsoIsmi ledinmyr oom.Il i
mped
tothebat hroom topourwat erinthebathbasin.
Abubbl ebat hisallthatIneed.Nel l
aforgotto
ment i
onhowf uckingpai nfulthi
sis.Thefir
st
ti
mei twasHELLIt houghtmypr iv
atepartwas
beingtornapar twithakni f
e.ButI'
m gladit
's
overwith.Theot herr oundswer epainfulaswell
buttheyhadsexual pl
easur etothem.Ilooked
atmyr ingingphoneandi twasNel l
a.Ipi
ckedit
upsmi l
ing.

Nell
a:whatar
eyouwear
ingt
othedinner
chomp?Let'
sweart
hesamecolor
s.
Me:
howaboutbl
ack?

It
ri
edmov i
ngint
hetubandhi
ssedinpai
n.I
smil
edt
hinki
ngaboutt
hememorieswecreat
ed
i
nthatr
oom.

Nel
l
a:bi
tchy
oudi
dit
!?
Me:
yes.I
t'
spai
nful
ashel
l
.
Nel
l
a:i
twi
l
lgetbet
terboo.
Me:andyouwer erightaboutthecondom.it
wasmorepainfulwi t
hit.Heaskedifheshoul
d
t
akeitof
f,andInodded.I twasabitbett
eraft
er
t
aki
ngitoffbut
!..
.itwasst i
ll
painf
ul.
Nel
la:
awwi twi
l
lbebet
tery
oursecondt
ime
ar
ound.Af
terpi
l
ls?
Me:yes,andwealreadyhadmulti
pler
ounds.
ButIdrankt
hem againforj
usti
ncase*laughs*
Nel
l
a:t
hatgr
eedybast
ard*
laughs*
Me:Idi
dn'
tmi
ndbecauseIki
ndaenjoy
edi
tint
o
r
ound3or4Iwasreal
lyenj
oyi
ngit
.
Nel
l
a:4!
?Bi
tchwhat!
?
Me:
I'
ll
tel
lyout
hedet
ail
sov
erl
uncht
omor
row
j
ustt
het
woofus.
Nel
l
a:by
e,getr
eadyboo.
Me:
bye.

Ihungupsmi l
i
ng.Ihear dsomeonecl eari
ng
theirt
hroatIgaspedlookingatIssybehindme.I
feltsoembarrassedIwant edtodrownmy sel
f
i
nt hebubblebath.Iplacedmyphoneont he
sidenotdroppingiti
nt hewater.

Me:
that
'si
nvadi
ngmypr
ivacy
.
I
ssy
:soy
ou'
rehav
ingsexnow?

Il
ookeddownwi t
hnoexplanat
ion.Whyam I
embarr
assed?I'
m 19!I
'
m grownIshoul
down
uptoit
.Iam i
nvarsi
ty.

I
ssy
:usi
ngacondom i
nsexi
sver
yessent
ial
,
Lel
ona.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
I
ssy
:ar
eyouont
hecont
racept
ivei
nject
ion?

Ishookmyheadl ooki
ngdown.Idi dn'
twantto
havethi
stalkatal
l.I
twasembar rassi
ng,I
wasn'tr
eadyforit
.Shesatont heclosedtoi
let
seatandlookedatme.Likereal
lylookatme,
youknowhowmot hersj
uststareatyoursoul?
That'
sit
.

I
ssy
:doy
ouwantaki
dat19?
Me:
no.
Issy
:doyouwanttoli
vewi
thHI
V?STD?STI
?
anytypeofdi
sease?
!
Me:
no.
I
ssy
:thenwhyar
eyougambl
i
ngwi
thy
ourl
i
fe!
?
Me:
he'
scl
ean.It
rustXav
ier
.
I
ssy :ohy ou'
rethemi r
acleseer
.Every
oneyou
trustiscl
ean.Don' tbetoonaiv
eLelonaman!
Youknowwhatt ypeofguyhewasbef or
ey ou.
Yout ookl i
feori
entati
onasasubjectandyou
passed.Nowwhyar eyoubecomingslowat
thisinfor
mat i
on?

Icoul
dn'ttal
katal
l.Alli
coulddowasstar
eat
thebubbles.Andican'
tblameZayheaskedme
i
fheshoul dtakei
toff,
Iagreed.

Me:
Itookanaf
terpi
l
l.
Issy
:hur r
yupsowecangogety oua
contracepti
vei
nject
ionandgett
ested.
Me:
i-
I
ssy:Lel
onaIknowIwasn' ti
ny ourl
i
fe,butI
'
llbe
damnedifIlety
our ui
ny ourli
febecauseyou
tr
ustsomeone!Diseasesdon'tlookli
keanyone
i
tcouldaff
ecteveryone.Hurryup.
Shewal kedoutandsl ammedt hedoor,
shewas
veryangry.Isighedandf i
nishedtaki
ngthebat
h
eveninabi tofpain.IguessIssywasr i
ght
,butI
doubtZayi sinfect
edwi t
hany thi
ng.
.
.
.
andpl
easesupportBel
la&Xav
ier
'sgangst
er
l
ovest
ory&If el
li
nlovewit
hmybrother
'sex.
♥
[
02/
18,
07:
25]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT11
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
AfterallIdi
dget t
ingready ,Iwasdonet ogoget
testedandgetacont raceptiveinject
ion.Idi
dn't
wantt osaynot oSi si
phobecauseshel ooked
soangr yandIcoul dn'
tsayno, it
'smyf ir
stti
me
seeinghert hatangry.Iwasi nal ongdressthat
wasn'ttightatall
.Iwasn' twear i
ngan
underwearbecausemyv agi nawasst il
linpain.
May be4r oundswasov erdoi ngit
?HayZaywi ll
waitforaweekbef oreIopenmyl egsagain.
Sisi
phoqui cklydrovemet ot hedoctor.I
haven'tseenmydoct orinawhi l
e,shesmi l
ed
atme.

Doc:
sti
l
lhav
ingt
hepani
cat
tacks?
Me:
no.
Doc:
it'
sbeenawhi
l
esi
nceIseeny
ouher
e.I
t'
s
gr
eatseei
ngy
ou.
Me:
thanky
ou*
smi
l
es*mer
ryChr
ist
mas.
Doc: youtoo,
sweet
heart
.Ri
ghtaf
tery
ouI
'
m
clocki
ngoutandheadi
ngbackhometomy
familyforsomecel
ebr
ati
onti
me.

Webot hsmiledateachother
.Sisi
phowasalso
smil
ing.Shedidn'twantt
oappearasrude,
andI
tot
all
yunderstand.

Doc:
what
'st
hespeci
alv
isi
tfor
?
Me:uhm.
..IwanttogettestedandIwantt
o
hav
eacontracept
ivei
njecti
on.
Doc:
cant
hel
ovel
yladywai
tout
side?

Shel
ookedatSi
sipho.
I
ssy
:ohsor
ry,
I'
ll
bewai
ti
ngi
nthewai
ti
ngr
oom.

Inodded,
andshel
eft
.Thedoct
ordi
dhert
hing.

Doc:
sowho'
sthespeci
alguy
?
Me:
*chuckl
es*Xav
ier
.
Doc:
nicename*
chuckl
es*wher
edi
dyouguy
s
meet?
Me:
doct
orVane!*
blushes*
Doc:I'
m onlyasking*laughs*Il
oveseeingyou
thi
shappy .You'
renott hesamegirl
from
Januarythatwasalway sinherewit
ht hepani
c
att
acks.Youhav er eall
ygrown.Iam happy.
Me:t
hankyou.Andal
sothankyouf
or
r
ecommendingDrZwi
de.She'
samazing.
Doc:Iknewyouwouldli
keher
.She'
soneoft
he
best
.I'
mr eal
l
yhappythi
ngsar
elooki
ngoutf
or
you,
Leona.
Me:
Lel
ona.*
chuckl
es*
Doc:
sor
ry.*
laughs*
Me:I
'vecometoaccepty
ou'
l
lnev
erbeabl
eto
sayi
tri
ght*l
aughs*

Shelaughedalsoandgav emeasmal lcup.I

knewwher ether estroom was, soIknewIhat e
topee.Lordthatwasgoi ngtobeachal l
enge
knowinghowpai nfulitistopee.Af terallofthat.
Ihadtowai tbeforeIwast ol
dmyr esult
s.She
hadgivenmet hecont raceptiveinj
ect i
onandl et
met el
lyou!Itwasnoi okebuti twasn' thurtful
toapointwher eI'dcry ,itwasv erypainful t
o
walkbecauseoft hatdamndi ckXav ierhas.I
wantedawheel chai rbutIknewt hati wouldbe
alaughingstock.Doccal l
edmeupagai n.And
Issywalkedwithmei nsideherof f
ice.Itoldher
shecouldcomesoshecanhearaboutmy
resul
tsbecauseIknowt hey '
reclean.
Doc: okay,withthebirt
hcont r
olshotyoumay
feelnauseabutt hat'
snormal.Youmayal so
gainwei ght,experi
enceheadaches.Your
breastsbecomet ender.Getdepressi
on.Or
haveasl i
ghtbruisewheretheshotwasgi ven
evenav eryraresmall,
permanentdentint he
skinwher etheshotwasgi v
en.Butallofthisi
s
normal oritmi ghtnothappenbutifitdoes.It
's
normal .

Inoddedasli
stenedat
tent
ivel
ytohergi
vi
ngt
he
prosandconsofthebi
rthcontr
olshot
.

Doc:ev
ery3mont hsyoushouldcomegetone.
buti
t'
ssti
llnotokayt ohaveunprot
ectedsex.
Youandy ourpart
nerneedt ocomeher eand
gett
estedtogether.Am Imakingmy sel
fcl
ear?

Inoddedandshesmi
l
ed.
Doc:ever
ythi
ngiscl
ean.Shedoesn'
thaveany
di
seasesorhasshecontract
edanyt
hing.She
i
sn'
tpregnantei
ther
.

Ismil
ed,andl
ookedatI
ssyl
i
ke"
itol
dyouso"
shechuckl
ed.

I
ssy
:Ist
il
ldon'
twantherhav
ingsexsoy
oung.
Doc:
they
'r
eboundt
ogr
owupsomeday
.
I
ssy
:Iknow.I
t'
stoosoont
hough

Theybot hstart
edlaughing.Iwasjustr
eadyto
l
eav e,mylegswereki l
l
ingme.Iwasgi vi
ng
them smilesbutIwantedt ogo.Ontheride
backhome, I
ssywasgi vi
ngmeal ectur
eabout
howl uckyIwas.Mi l
l
ionsofpeoplecontr
act
diseasesfrom par
tnerstheytr
ust.Inal
l
honestyIwasnotl i
stening.Iknowi t
'sbadbutI
knowal lofthi
si nf
ormat ionsoIwant edherto
keepitzip.Oncewear r
ivedatthehouse, Iwas
surpr
isedtoseeMul lerint heli
vingroom with
thi
sdark-skinnedcut egirl.Hewasl aughing.I
meanr eall
ylaughing.Ihav ebeensobusywi t
h
Zay,Ididn'
tev ennoticehi m beingina
rel
ati
onship.Hedi dn'tevent el
lmeabouther .

Me:
wel
lhel
l
o*smi
l
es*

Theybot
hlookedatme.Thegi
rlqui
ckl
yjumped
offhi
m,andsatnextt
ohim.

I
ssy
:ev
ery
onei
nthi
shousei
sdat
ing*
laughs*

Il
ookedather
.LordIhopeshedoesn'
ttel
l
mull
eraboutt
hei
ncident
.
Me:
I'
m Lel
ona.Hi
sli
tt
lesi
ster
.
Mul
l
er:
lonat
hisi
sJay
de.Mygi
rl
fr
iend.

Il
ookedathim smili
ng.Fi
rstt
imeheintr
oduced
someoneasagi rl
fr
iendwithasmil
e.Hewas
l
ooki
ngathersmi li
ngandhereyeswereonme
andIssy
.Shewasscar edthatwefoundthem
al
lgi
ddyintheliv
ingroom..

Jay
:I'
m sohappyt
ofi
nal
l
ymeety
ouguy
s.I
hav
eheardsomuch.

Shegotupandgav eushugs.Thattookmeby
surpr
ise.ByherfashionsenseIt
houghtshe
wouldbeasnobbutno, shegaveushugsand
wasal wayssmil
ing.Shewaswear i
ngallbl
ack
wit
hherbl ondehairslay
ed.Iwasamazedby
herbeauty.
Me:
nicet
omeety
ou.
I
ssy
:we'
l
lleav
eyout
ool
ovebi
rdsal
one.

ShesmiledandIl
aughed.Shewasexci ted
aboutMull
erhavi
ngagirl
fr
iend.Ithi
nkwe' re
bothusedtoohi
m bei
ngtoughandapl ay erthat
whenhesmi l
esandhe'si
nloveit
'sactuallya
goodlook.

Me:
she'
spr
ett
y
I
ssy
:ver
ypr
ett
y.
~~
.
.
Lucki
lyformeMull
erwasoccupiedwit
hhis
gi
rlf
ri
endhedidn'
taskaboutmewalki
ngfunny
eventhoughIt
ri
edmybestt ohi
deit
.I'
m pr
ett
y
surei twasv i
sible.Hedi dn'tev enaskaboutme
notsl eepi ngher ey ester day .Wewer enowon
ourwayt ot hedi nnerFi fi i
nv itedust o.Iwas
wear ingt hi sshor tbl ackdr ess, knee- hi ghopen
toeboot swi thahoodi ecar digani naway .Iwas
notgoi ngt ot akei tof fbecauset henpeopl e
woul dseei twasn' twear i
nganyunder wear .I'
m
refrainingf rom wear i
ngi tbecausei twascl ose
cont actwi thmyv agi namaki ngitmor epai nful
whenIwal k.Iwasi nt hecarwi thSisi phoand
shewasexci tedaboutt hedi nnerbecauseshe
saysshehasn' tseenFi fiinsol ong.Li ke3day
i
sl ong.Hayt hey '
rer eal lybestf ri
ends.If ound
my sel flaughi ngatt hat .Oncewewer el etinand
ever ythingi sawIwasi nawehowbeaut i
fulthe
decor at i
onswer e.Thi swasamazi ng!Wewer e
accompani edt ot hedi ningr oom.Andt herewas
scrappy ,Nel la,Ghost ,Fi f
iandXav ier .Wel lall
greet edeachot hersay i
ngmer r
yChr istmas.
Themai dt ookourgi fts.Iam gl adIwent
shoppi ngl astweekear li
er.Iwasnextt oXav i
er
andever
yonewasengagi
nginthei
rown
conv
ersat
ionwi
thwhoevert
heywanted.

Rel
l
ik:
you'
reokay
?
Me:
yeah.I
'
mfi
nebabe.

Istartedgett
ingaheadache.ButIdi
dn'
ttel
l
him becauseit'
snotabigdeali
tspar
tofthe
contracepti
veinj
ect
ioneff
ects.

Rel
li
k:y
ou'
resur
e?Ifeel
li
keIoverpushedy
ou
wit
h4roundswheny
ouwer est
art
ing.

ThankGodhewaswhi
sper
ing.Idon'
twant
mull
ertoknowy
et.

Me:i
t'
sabitpai
nfulbutI
'
llbefi
ne.Ipr
omise,
a
weekwit
houtanyt
hingbi
gt ear
ingmyvagi
nain
hal
fthenI
'
llbef
ine.

Hesmir
kedbecauseIcal
l
edhi
sdi
ckbi
g.Ir
oll
ed
myeyessmi
li
ng.

Me:
ohGod.

Iknewthatwouldboosthi
sego.Hel
i
ckedhi
s
l
ipsandsmiled.

Me:
eaty
ourf
oodandst
opt
alki
ngdi
rt
y.

Hel aughedlowlyandwest art

edeating.The
dinnerwasgood.AndJay dewasasweetgi r
l,a
l
ittl
espoi l
edthatwecouldseebutshewasni ce.
Il
ikeher .Myheadacheswer egett
ingstronger
andIwasf eeli
ngli
ght-
headed.Abitdizzytobe
exact.Ididn'tpayanymindtoitbecause
may
betheinj
ecti
oni
swor
kinghar
donshowi
ng
mei
t'
seff
ects.

Fi
fi
:Lona.Iheardy
oupassedallyourmodul
es
wi
thdist
incti
ons.Congr
atul
ati
ons.

Il
ookedather.I
tfel
tveryhoti
nhere.Ismil
ed,
ev
enthoughitwasveryhardconcent
rati
ng.

Me:thanky
ou.CanIbeexcusedt
ogot
othe
bat
hroom?

Igotupandwal kedt othebathr

oom.Ther eI
openedt hewindowbecauseIneededal otof
freshair
.Itookof fthewool j
acketandsaton
theclosedtoil
etseat .Ihear
dknockingandI
knewi twasXav ier.
Me:
it'
snotl
ocked.

Andjustli
keIsai
difwashi
m.Hecoul
dseeI
wasn'tokay.

Rel
l
ik:
you'
reokay
?
Me:f
eel
i
ngnausea,
andI
'
m get
ti
ngst
omach
cr
amps
Rel
l
kik:
itmustbet
heaf
terpi
l
ls.
Me: y
eahandIal
sohadacont
racept
ive
i
njecti
ont
hismorni
ng.
Rel
l
kik:
what
?
Me:yup.I
ssywaspissedwehadunpr
otect
ed
sex,
Ihadtoevengettest
ed.
Rell
ki
k:that
'swhyshe'
sbeenact
ingcol
d
towardsme.
Me:
I'
m sur
eyou'
l
lbehappyt
olear
nI'
m cl
ean.
Rell
i
k:y
out
hinkIgoar
oundhi
tt
ingev
erygi
rl
raw?

Ishruggedmyshoulders.HechuckledandI
smil
edl ooki
ngathim.Idon'
tknowwhyIwas
happythatheactual
lyonl
ymakesl ovetome
raw,andallhi
sexhoesheusedpr otect
ionwi
th.

Rel
li
k:youneedsomet
hingt
omakey
ouf
eel
bet
ter
?
Me:
justcol
dwat
er,
please.
Rel
l
ik:
let
'
sgo.

Hetookmyhandandwewal kedtotheki
tchen.
Themaidswer ebusyIdon'
tevenknowwith
what.Hepouredmeagl assofcol
dwater.I
smil
eddri
nkingit
.
Me:
thanky
ou.

Hegav emeaqui ckkissbutiwasblushi

ng
becausethemaidswer elooki
ngatussmili
ng.
Hewr appedhi
sar m overmyshoul
dersandwe
walkedbacktothediningroom.

I
ssy
:you'
reokay
?
Me:
yes.Justneededai
r,i
tbecamet
oohot
.
Fi
fi:
I'
llgoaskt
hem t
oswi
tchont
heai
r
condit
ioner
.
Me:
I'
m okay
,thatwon'
tbenecessar
y*smi
l
es*
Fi
fi
:st
opbei
ngsi
l
ly!*
laughs*I
'
llber
ightback.

Sheleftandsoonaf t
ershecameback.The
room star
tedfeel
ingabitchil
l
ed.Ismiledand
thankedher.Iam happytheydidn'
taskany
mor equesti
ons
~~
Wewer edri
vi
ngbackhome.Andt hedinner
wentper f
ectl
y.Ismiledl
ookingatt hegift
s
Xaviergaveme.I twasaCar t
ierbr aceletwit
ha
Rolexandhesai dmyot hergift
sar eathis
house.Iknewt heywerereall
yexpensi veand
thatmademef eelbadIonlygothi m newGucci
sneakers,wit
haRol exandmyv i
r gini
ty.I
l
aughedatmyownj oke,myv i
rginityasagi f
t.

I
ssy
:someone'
shappy
.
Me:
yeah,
Ireal
l
yam.

Shequickl
ystoppedhercar
,andlookedi
nfront
angr
ily
.Ilookeduptoseewhatshewas
l
ookingat.Andneart
hegate,ther
estoodI
sipho,
Dabs,uncl
eanddad.Damn...
[
02/
18,
07:
27]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT12
.
.
.
-
-MULLER'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Ilookedatmymot herinut t
ershockt hatshe
woul dcomeher e.Imadesur et oignorethei
r
textsandcall
ssohowi nthehelldidsheget
herewi tht
herestoft hefamily?Mani fKing
washer ehewoul d'vehelpedmewi ththi
s.I
can'tcountondadormyuncl ebecauset hey'
re
bothequallyuseless.Iknowt hat'
smeanbuti t'
s
thetruth.Thewei ghtofthewhol efami l
yison
myshoul
der
s.

Jay
:khazi
eyou'
reokay
?

Ifor gotshewasev eninthecarwi thme.I

l
ookedather ,andshecoul dclearlyseei was
stressedt hefuckout .Igotoutthecarnot
answer i
ngherquest ion.AsIwal kedcloserto
mymom, Iturnedaroundandsi gnaledforLona
tor emaini nthecar.

Me:
ma,
yint
oni
ngoku?(
Mom,
whati
sitnow?
)
Ma: asi
kwaziuhl
alakuny eforiChr i
s'
mes?
KudalasihambasisukaeAi r
pirt.Vulasi
phumle.
(can'
twespendChr istmast ogether?It
'sbeena
l
ongwal kfrom t
heai r
port.Openl et'
sgetsome
rest.
)
Me:ayondluy
am.Baumakaziakani
funi
ni
zofunekani
hambe.Ni
fi
kenj
anikhona?(i
t'
s
notmyhouse.IfAunt
iedoesn'
twantyouher
e
you'
ll
havetol
eave.Howdi dyougether
e
anyway?)
Dabs:si
'
book'i
shengokwethukal
okuwena
awukwazanga( webookedonourownbecause
youcoul
dn'tdoit
.)

Icoul
dsenset heatt
it
udeinherv
oice.Toavoi
d
thedrama,Il
ookedatmydadanduncl ewho
havebeenquietthi
swholeti
me.Seewhyi
wouldneverr
espectthem?They'
recontr
oll
ed
bythem!

Me:ndizohambanani ukuyaeHot
ele,
ani
zokwazi ul
alaapha.(I'
l
lgowit
hy out
othe
hot
el,y
oucan' tsl
eephere.)

Mymot herwast
hefi
rstonet
ostormtomycar.
Isi
ghedwhensheopenedthefr
ontdoorand
sawJay
de.

Ma:tchi
n!Wahl
ala?Khawut
hi'
gu.(
You'
rest
il
l
si
tt
ing?Justmove.
)

Iqui
ckl
ywal kedt
othecar,
IcouldseeJayde
wasconfusedbecauseshedoesn'
tunder
stand
Xhosaatall
.

Dabs:khamj
ongeubhi
tyeungakanani
.
Abant
wanabangafel
aesuswinikul
o.(
Lookat
howthinshei
s.Ki
dswoulddieinherstomach.
)

Isi
ghed,Iwasv erythankf
ulshedidn'
t
underst
andmyl anguage.Jaydebeingspoil
ed
wasnotmov i
ngatalli
nherseat.Ishookmy
headstart
ingtohaveaheadachef rom al
lthi
s
unnecessaryshi
t.
Me:
baby
,pl
easest
epoutf
oramoment
?

Shegotout
,mom pushedhert
ogeti
nthecar
.

Me:
ma!

Mom glaredatmeandfixedherlongski
rt
cl
osingthedoor.Thent
heothersalsogoti
nthe
car
.

Me:canIl
eav
eyouwit
hmyauntandsi
sterf
or
al
it
tlewhi
l
e?Ipromi
seI'
l
lbeback.
Jay
:Idon'
tknow,
Khazi
mla.
Me:baby,Ipr
omiseI'
ll
beback.I
'
mjustgoi
ngt
o
bookthem ahot
elthencomeback.
Jay
:Ican'
tsl
eepov
erher
e
Me:
whynot
?
Jay
:it
'sdi
srespect
ful
toy
ouraunt
.*bl
ushes*
Me:
issyi
scool
.
Jay
:they
'r
eident
ical
twi
nsr
ight
?
Me:
yes.I
'
m sur
pri
sedy
ouwer
en'
tshocked.
Jay:Ihavecousi
nswhoar
eident
icaltwi
nsso
i
t'snotreal
l
yshocki
ngwhenIseeidenti
cal
twins.
Me:letmegoqui
ckl
y.Ipr
omi
seI
'
llbeback
qui
cklyokay
?

ShenoddedandIaccompani
edhert
oIssy
'scar
.

I
ssy
:Idon'
twantt
hem her
e.
Me:
I'
mtaki
ngt
hem t
oahot
el.
I
ssy
:whatar
etheyev
endoi
ngher
e?
Me:
wewer
esupposedt
ohav
edi
nnert
oget
her
butIi
gnor
edthei
rcal
l
ssot
heycameher
ein
CapeTown.
I
ssy
:whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
usany
thi
ng?
Lona:
theymust
'v
eusedthei
rownmoney.They
havemoneynowbecauseofKi
ng'
swi
ll
.
I
ssy
:nxaIdon'
twantt
hem her
eKhazi
mla.
Me:I'
m makingsuret hey
'r
el eav
ing,
ant
sho?
(Ar
en'
tI?)Allofyouaregettingonmydamn
ner
vesactingli
ke5y earolds.

Aftersayingthat,
Issy'
smouthf l
ewopen
becauseIsai ditwit
hsomuchat t
it
ude.Iwas
honestlytir
edbyal l
ofthi
sbickeri
ngli
kewe
wer en'
tfamily
.IkissedJay'
sforeheadthen
rushedtomycar .

Ma:andazi
ungathengi
eyakhoindl
unj
e.(Idon'
t
knowwhyy oudon'
tbuyyourownhouse.
)
Me:mama,
uyay
azi
ngoba.(
mom,
youknow
why
)
Dabs:Lelonaumdal aangakwazi
ukuzi
nakekela.
Andakanamamanangoku?Phi l
aubomi bakho
Khazi
ml a.(Lel
onaisoldenoughtol
ookafter
her
sel
f .Anddoesn'tshehavehermothernow?
Li
veyourl i
fe,Khazi
mla.)

Idecidedt oignorethem eventhoughIknew

theywer er i
ght.Idon'twanttoleaveLonato
staywithi ssyalonebecauseIpr omisedherI'
d
alwaysber i
ghtwher esheis.Thenatt hesame
ti
meIdon' twantt otakeherawayf rom her
mot her.Iknowsheenj oysst
ayingthereand
mostoft hetimeI '
m neverhome.I '
dbeunf ai
r
totakeheronl yf orhertobealoneal l
theti
me.
.
.
.
-
-JAYDE'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Lonaofferedmejuicewhi
leI
ssywentupst
air
s
torestbecauseshewastooti
red.

Me:
thanky
ou.

Shesmi
ledatme.Butl
aterhersmi
l
etur
ned
i
ntoafr
ownandIcouldseeshewasinpai
n.

Me:
you'
reokay
?
Lona:
yeahj
ustcr
amps.
Me:
mustbet
heper
iodsappr
oachi
ng.
Lona:yeahmustbethat
.Sotel
lmeabout
yoursel
f.Howdidyouguysmeet?*
smil
es*
Ibl
ushedthi
nkingaboutKhazi
e.Inev
erthought
aft
erdati
ngalotofguysandalwaysendingup
hurtt
hatIwouldfi
nal
lymeetsomeonesoni ce
andsweetyetsomeanandi nt
imidat
ing.

Me: I
'm 23,
I'
mt heonlychi
l
dthatmyparent
s
have.Iwasadopt ed,
andI'
mreall
ynott
hat
i
nterest
ing*laughs*
Lona:
howdi
dyouguy
smeet
?
Me: uhm..itwasaweekbef oremybi r
thdayI
thi
nk,butIknowIhear daboutt hi
shotnewcl ub
soIwant edt orentthewhol eplaceformypar t
y
becauseIdi dn'
twantpeopl eIdidn'
tknowatmy
part
ybecauset hat'
sv eryirr
it
ati
ng.But,
meand
yourbrotherjustkickedi toff
.Hewoul di
nvit
e
met olunchandst uf f
,andIal waysthoughthe
j
ustwant edt osmasht henleaveme

Shel
aughedatmydr
amat
ichandgest
ures.I
t
ookanot
hersi
poft
hej
uicesmi
l
ing.

Me: soIwasl i
ke'f
ucki
t'sowestar
tedcasuall
y
fucking.Si
l
lymegr ewf
eeli
ngs,
thenIdi
dt he
dumbestshi tever
.
Lona:
what
?*l
aughs*
Me: Ispr
ayedmyperfumeal
loverhisroom
becauseIwantedanychi
ckhewoul dbri
ng
homet oknowthat,
Ihavear
ri
ved.*smirks*
Lona:
ohmy
..

Shestart
edlaughi
ng.AndIjoinedinonher .I
knowitwaswr ongofmet odoi fbutlet
'sfaceit
.
IknowKhazieisabadboyt hatplentyofgirls
throwi
ngthemselvesathi
m.Iwantt hem t
o
knowhe'smineandt hatt
heyshoul dbackf ar
faraway.
Lona:
Ili
key
ou.You'
ret
alkat
iveandov
ert
het
op.
Me:
thanky
ou*
laughs*

I
'm happyhi ssisterl
ikesmebecauset hatguy
woulddi eforhislit
tl
esist
erandIbetifIgeton
herbadsi deandshesay sheshoulddumpme
hewill.ThatisexactlywhyIplanonnotget t
ing
onherbadsi de.Iwantonerel
ationshi
pofmi ne
toatleastlast.
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Il
aidonmybedboredwatchingsomeTV.
Si
ncetherewer
en'
tanyint
erest
ingsoccer
matches,
Ideci
dedtodosomewor konmy
l
aptop.Iwasgoi ngtosendsomePDFt ooneof
myempl oyeesforoneofmycl ubswhenIsaw
newpi ct
ur esont helaptop.Myey ebrows
furr
owedconf usedast owhatwasgoi ngon.I
checkedt hem outandIsmi l
ed.I
twasLona' s
pict
uresbutIcoul dseetheyweren'tnew
pict
ures.Howi si tt
hatit'
sthefi
rsttimeI'
m
seeingthis?Itmadememi ssherandIt ookmy
phonecal l
ingher .Whil
eIwaswai ti
ngforherto
pickup,Iquicklysentt hePDFtot heempl oy
ee.

Lona:
baby
?
Me:
Isawt
hepi
ctur
es
Lona:
whi
chpi
ctur
es?*
laughs*
Me:
thepi
ctur
esy
out
ookonmyl
apt
op.
*
smil
es*
Lona:
ohmygosh.Thatwasfr
om al
ongt
ime
ago*l
aughs*whenwewerei
ntheB&B
Me:
howcomeI
'
mjustseei
ngt
hem now?
Lona:
Idon'
tknow.Asky
our
sel
fthat*
laughs*
Me:
don'
tgetsmar
t.*
smi
rks*
Lona:I
'
m sur
eyou'r
ejustmissi
ngmet hat
'swhy
youcal
ledmefornotreasonatal
l*l
aughs*
Me:
Imi
ssy
ousobad.
Lona:
figur
es*
laughs*
Me:
let
'sgof
orani
ghtdr
ive.
Lona:youmustwantmul
l
erandi
ssyt
oki
l
lme.
*l
aughs*
Me:
*laughs*t
hey
'l
lunder
stand.
Lona:
youhav
e30mi
nut
esbef
oremul
l
erar
ri
ves.
Me:
wher
eishe?

Iputmyphoneonspeakerandqui cklychanged
mycl othesintoatightbl
ackt-shi
rtwithwhite
sweat pant
st hathadgreyli
nesont hesidethen
Ifi
nisheditof fwi
thGuccisli
des.
Lona:hewentt
obookmyev
ilf
ami
l
yint
oa
hotel
.
Me:
they
'r
eher
e?
Lona:
yup.
Me:
howdoy
ouf
eel
aboutt
hat
?
Lona:asl
ongast
hey
'r
efarawayf
rom me.I
'
m
okay.
Me:
I'
ll
bet
her
ein10mi
nut
esbabe.
Lona:
okay
.Lov
eyou.
Me:
lov
eyout
oo.

ShehungupandIpi ckedmyphoneup.I '

m
surprisedIsi
phohasn'ttol
dMul l
eraboutme
attackingher.I'
m surethatwil
lcausealotof
dramaandI '
m hopingshe'l
lkeephermout hzi
p.
Ispedof ft
oLona'shouse,Itooktherange
rovert odaybecauseinoti
cedIalwaysusethe
l
ambo.Iwantt ogetanewcarany waymay be
anaudi8orMer cedesBenzarbonne.WhenI
arri
vedshewasalreadyoutsi
dethegatetexti
ng
onherphone.Thistimeherwalkingwasbet t
er
thanbefor
e.Shekissedmewhenshegoti nsi
de
thecar,
Ismiledatherwipi
ngherlipgl
ossof f
herli
ps.

Me:
thi
sisanewone?
Lona:
yup.Li
kei
t?
Me:
wel
li
tdoest
ast
egood.

Shelaughedatmeli
cki
ngmylips.Theli
pgl
oss
sheputsonalwaysmakeherl
i
psl ookmore
good.Andthatj
ustmakesmewantt oki
ssher
more.

Lona:
shoul
dIfeel
badt
hatIl
eftJay
deal
lal
one
i
nthehouse?
Me:
*laughs*no.
Lona:
Xav
ier
.

Isighedandparkednextt
oheryard.Igotout
thecar,andIopenedthedoorf
orher.

Me:whydi
dyoucomeint
hecari
fyouknewwe
wer
en'
tgoi
ngtol
eave?
Lona:*
smil
es*want
edt
oki
ssy
ouwi
thoutey
es
watchi
ng.
Me:
*chuckl
es*y
ou'
resomet
hingel
se.

Wewal kedi
nsidethehouseandIkeptt ouchi
ng
herassbecauseit'
sjustsobigandsoft.I
smirkedwhenIfeltnopant yt
hroughhershort
dress.Wewerenowi nsidethehouseonour
wayt othel
i
vingroom.Il i
ft
edupherdress,and
gri
nnedatherbareass.Shesmackedmyhand
away
.

Lona:
stop!*
laughs*

Shefixedherdr
essdown.Ismil
edlooki
ngat
herl
ikeshewast hel
astmealandIwashungr
y
asfuck.

Me:I
'
veseeni
tbefor
eandit
'smi
nenowany
way
.
Nowmoveandletmeenj
oymyart.
Lona:
*laughs*y
ou'
resoannoy
ing.
Me:gi
vemeaki
sst
heni
fIcan'
tatl
eastl
ookat
i
t.
Lona:
no.

Shesmi l
edandwhenshewasabouttowalkof
f,
Ihel
dherbackandpoutedgiv
inghersadey
es.
Shelaughedgi
vi
ngmeaki ssandmyhands
l
andedonherass, brushi
ngitandeven
smackingi
t.Whent hekissended,
Ibroughther
cl
oserbygrabbingit
.Herarmswer eonmy
neck,
shewi pedherli
pglossoffmeagain.

Lona:
you'
resuchababy
.
Me:
I'
myourbaby
.

Sheblushedl
i
kehel
landl
aughedmaki
ngme
chuckl
e.

Lona:
let
'sgo.Thepoorgi
rli
sal
lal
one.

Sheletgoofmeandr emovedmyhandsf rom

herass.Iwatchedhergo,manthewayherass
wasmov ingiwantedtofuckheri
nthatli
ving
room.Mywi f
ecanmakemegocr azyjustby
weari
ngany t
hing.I
t'
scrazyhowmuchIf eelfor
t
hisgi
rl
.
[
02/
18,
07:
31]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT13
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
.
Wetalkedwit
hJay deandshewashonest l
ya
goodgirl
eventhoughIcouldsenset he
i
nsecuri
ti
esshehasbutnonet helessIthi
nk
she'
sagoodgi r
lforMull
er.Aftersolong,Mull
er
camebackandIwasgoi ngt ochillwi
thRell
i
kin
myroom.
Mul
l
er:
wher
ear
eyout
woheadi
ngof
ftoo?
Me:
myr
oom.
Mul
l
er:
noboy
supst
air
s.
Me:
it'
sjustXav
ier*
chuckl
es*
Mull
er:noboysupstai
rsLelona.Youwantto
di
srespectSi
siphoandfuckinherhouse?
Me:
fuck?
Mul
ler
:hi
sgr i
nisn'
thi
dinganyt
hingandy
our
wal
kisn'
tdenyi
nganything.

Ilookedathim shockedt hatheknew.Il ooked

atRelli
kwhowast ryi
ngtohi dehissmi l
e.Gosh,
Burymedeepi nthehouseany one.Thestare
Mul l
ergavemewasoneIcoul dsensehewas
disappoint
edbuthedi dn'thaveabi gfussabout
i
tl i
keIthoughthewoul d.Hej ustl
ookedatme
foralongtime.Ev enJaydekeptqui etanddidn'
t
wantt
ogeti
nvol
ved.

Mul
l
er:
we'
l
ltal
kpr
oper
lyt
omor
row.

Inoddedembar rassed.MeandXav iersatdown

ont hecouch.Iwant edt oaskhi mt oleave
becausenowt hiswasv eryawkwar d.The
tensionwascr azy !Ilookedi nt
ohi seyesand
pointedatt hedoorwi thmyhead.Heshookhi s
headsmi l
i
ng.Igl ar edathi m withmyey es
ti
nted.Hepucker edhi sl i
psint
oapoutgi vi
ng
meanai rkiss.Icoul dn' thel
pbutchuckl e.
Maki ngMul lerandJay delookatus.Theywer e
conf usedwhyIwasl aughing,becausemeand
Xav i
erwer en'tevensay i
nganyt hi
ng.Ilooked
backatXav ierwhoal sogav emet hesame
facialexpressiont heyhad.He' ssuchanact or!
Mymout hf l
ewopenbecausehe' smaki ngit
seem l i
keI'm beingcr azy.MullerandJay de
cont i
nuedwat chingTVandal lcuddledup.It'
s
unfai
rhowheget stocuddlewithhi
sbaeandI
gettododoingsignlanguagewithmine.butI
guessthat
'sthebigbrotherper
ks.
.

Xavi
er:t
hat
'smycuet
oleav
e.Seey
ou
tomorr
ow,baby
.
Me:
I'
ll
wal
kyouout
.

Iquickl
yst
oodup.Xav
ierchuckl
edandwe
walkedtohi
scar
.

Me:
he'
sbei
ngunf
air
.
Rel
li
k:he'
sbei
ngabi
gbr
other
.Iwoul
dactt
he
same.
Me:t
henmaybeweshoul
dn'
tbyhav
esexunt
il
hei
scomfor
tabl
ewi
thit

If
oldedmyar
msf
rust
rat
edt
hathewast
aki
ng
hissi
dewhencl
earl
yIwant
edhim onmine.I
knewtheword'
sex
'wouldmakehi
searsperk
up

Rel
l
ik:
fuckno.That
'snotwhatIsai
d
Me:
soundsl
i
kei
t.
Rel
li
:don'
tputwordsi
nmymout
hnowstop
bei
ngspoil
tandcomegiv
emeakiss.
Me:
you'
rel
uckyIl
ovey
ou.
Rel
l
ik:
Iknow.I
t'
shar
dnott
o.

Il
aughedandpeckedhi
sli
ps.Hei
swasti
ngmy
l
ipgl
ossallf
rom t
hiski
ssi
ngli
kewe'
re
newl
yweds.

Rel
l
ik:
that
'snotaki
ss.
Me:
thenwhati
sit
?Isn'
ti
tababyki
ss?
Rel
l
ik:
doIl
ookl
i
keababy
?
Me:
yes,y
esy
oudo.Andy
ouactl
i
keonet
oo-

Hecutmeoffbypul
li
ngmet ohim and
smashedhi
sli
psonmy .Idi
dn'
twanttheki
sst
o
endsowhenhepull
edawayIpouted

Rel
l
k:cheerup.You'
l
lseemet
omor
row.
Me:
Iknow.Dr
ivesaf
ely
.
Rel
l
ik:
Ilov
eyou.
Me:
Iknow,cal
lmewheny
ougethome.
Rel
l
ik:
Lel
onaIl
ovey
ou.
Me:
*laughs*damn,
Ihear
dyou.
Rel
l
ik:
don'
ttestme.
Me:
*smi
l
es*Il
ovey
out
oo,i
diot

Hesmi
l
edmaki
ngmel
augh,
onewoul
dswear
thisguyi sbipolarbuthe' sjustt oodamngoof y
noonewoul dunder st
andunl esst hey '
recloser
enought oreallyknowhi m.Iwenti nsidethe
housewhenIsawhi scarr eall
yspeedof f.When
Iwasi nsidethehouse, Ifr
ownedmi ssinghi m.
Thecr ampscamebackwi t
ht heheadache.I
wentupst air
sandt ookheadachepi l
ls.Iran
my selfabathbecauseIknewt hismeantmy
per iodswer eont heway .Afterthebat hIwor e
mygr annypant ieswi t
hapadonandmygr anny
night i
e.Ihopei t'
snott heper iods.Ihear dthe
i
nj ectionpreventst hem thent heyal sosai d
smal lbl
oodspot t
ingright?WhenIwasaboutt o
sleepat extli
tmyphoneup.Icheckedi tandi t
wasZay .

Hubby :backsaf
ely
.
Me:
okay
,I'
m of
ftosl
eep.Lov
eyou.♥
Hubby :
lov
eyout
oo.
RightafterthatIfeelasl
eepanddr i
ft
edoffto
l
alaland.Thenextmor ningIwokeupandI
knewIwasonmyper iodsduet otheunusual
feel
ingbel owmyl egs.Lett hi
sbet helastti
me
Ihav eperiodspleaseplease.Afterallmy
mor ningrouti
neIwal keddownt hest ai
rsandI
couldalreadyheart hescreaming.Icheckedthe
ti
meonmyphoneandj ustwas12: 03pm.Damn
whydi dn'tanyonewakemeup?

Issy
:shei smydaughterandi
fyoudar
ecal
lher
abast ar
dchil
dagainIwill
dosomethi
ngI
should'v
edonealongt i
meago.Tryme!

Theroom gotsi lent.ThenIheardalotof

gl
assesbr eakingandal otofcommotion.I
walkedinsidethel i
vingroom andIcouldsee
I
siphowasbl eedingfrom herhead,
Issywas
bl
eedingfrom herhandandt her
ewasbr oken
gl
assesont hefloor.IswearIactmoremat ure
t
henthem.Ireall
yswear .ButIwasreal
lyhappy
t
hatI
ssywasdef endingme.If ol
l
owedMul ler
whowasholdingIssybackabdr ushi
nghert o
t
hekit
chen.Het ookt hemedicalai
dkitand
wal
kedtotheliv
ingroom.

Me:
whathappened?

Theybothi
gnoredme.Mullercamebackandi
l
ookedathim agai
n.Iwaswaiti
ngforan
answerandIwouldnotst
opunt i
liwasgi
ven
one

I
ssy
:Iwantt
hem out
.
Mul
l
er:
but
-
I
ssy
:Khazi
mla!
Me:
cal
m down.
Iknewmul l
erhatedbeingshoutedatandIssy
wasreal
lyworkinghersel
fupi didn'
twanthert
o
getaheartatt
ackbecauseoft hatgri
nch.

Issy:
I'
m sorr
y.khazimlaIknowy ouwantthe
famil
yt oal
lgettogetherbecauseyouhate
choosingaside.IunderstandbutIwi
llnev
er
forgi
veherforwhatshehasdone
Mul
l
er:
buty
ou'
renoti
nnocenti
nthi
sei
ther
.

Weallgotquiet
.Iknewshi
twasaboutt
obl
ow
of
f.Isi
ghed,herewego

I
ssy:
howdar eyousaythat!Shei
sfuckingev i
l!
Whotri
estokil
lsomeonejustbecauseofa
man!
?Thatsamemant hatshe'
ssti
llwit
hbut
hewastheonewhocamet omybed!* cries*
yout
hinkt
hisiseasyf
orme! ?Myownbl ood
want
smedeadandnowIhav etoknowt hatI
havel
ostandsist
erf
orev
ersomeonewhom I
usedt
ov al
ue.
Mul
l
er:
notenought
otur
nherhusbandaway
.
Me:
Khazi
mla.
..

Ipoppedmyey esout.Issywasshockedthat
hewouldtalkl
i
kethis.Issywashy st
eri
cal
l
y
cry
ing.Mull
erj
ustsighedandlookedatme

I
ssy
:getout
!

Il
ookedIssy
,cl
earl
yshewasov
err
eact
ingand
sheneededtocal
m down.

Me:
Sisi
pho.
I
ssy
:out
!
Mul
l
er:
justbecauseI
'
mtel
l
ingt
het
rut
h?Whi
ch
i
ssomet hingy oudon' twantt ohear?Bot hof
youar ewrong.Ther e'
snor i
ghtinthis.Bot hof
youletamancomebet weeny oursist
er hood
andnowt hisisal l
onebi gmess.St oppl aying
thevicti
m andr eal
isey ou'r
ealsowr ong.Thi s
won'tendunt i
lthebot hofy ouapol ogizet o
eachot her.Youmaynev erseeeachot her
againandt hat
'sokay .Justwheny ouguy sdo
ther
eshoul dn'
tbeanyt ypeofcommot ionwi th
thi
s.

Issystoodupandwr appedtheki
tchencl
othon
herbleedinghand.We'l
lhav
etothrowthat
awayaf teral
lofthi
s.

I
ssy:onemor
ewr
ongmov
efr
om herandshe'
s
out
.
Mul
l
er:
I'
ll
makesur
eofi
t.*
smi
l
es*
Issysmi l
edtoo.Ilovedthatshedidn'thavea
hatingbonei nherbody.Yessheov err
eact
s
somet imesbutshe'sacool ladythathasa
l
ov elyheartwhenevershehascal meddown.I
gaspedsi l
entlywhenIsawI sipho'
sf acewit
h
blood.Iknewshemust '
vehadacutonherf ace.
Thatwassur el
ygoingtoleaveascar .

I
ssy:Idoapol
ogi
seforbei
ngvi
olent
.Ishoul
dn'
t
hav
et hr
ownthegl
assatyou.
Dabs:zi
zi
ntozakhokal
okuezo(
thosear
eyour
t
hings)
Mul
l
er:
makazi
!*shout
s*(
aunt
)

DabskeptquietandlookedatIsi
pho'
sscar.
Mullerwasreal
lyragi
ngwithanger.Iwouldbe
too,all
thesegr
ownpeopl eandthey'
reacti
ng
youngerthanus.Iwasfeeli
ngabitsadthatal
l
ofthiswasbecauseofme.Iam t heproductof
al
lthi
shat
e.Iam t
hecauseofanotherhuman
bei
ng'
shatr
edtowardshersi
ster
.

I
ssy :andIdoapol ogi
sef orsl
eepingwit
hy our
husband.Ev enthoughInev ercall
edhimtomy
bad,Ishould'v
ebeenagoodsi st
erandpushed
him off.I
'
m sosor ryI
siphoIknowt hatcaused
yousomuchpai nespeci al
lybecauseyouloved
him somuchandasy ousisterIshoul
d'v
e
respectedthat.

Isi
phowasnowcr yi
ngt oo.Likereallycryi
ng,
andthatmademef eelbadf orher.Tol ove
someoneandt rustthem onlyforthem t osleep
withyoursisterandimpr egnateher .Theny ou
havenochoi cebuttor aisethechild.Itmust '
ve
real
lyhurtherbad.Butmur derisstillnot
excusabl
e.Shenoddedt hr
oughhert ears.
Isi
pho:ndi
yaxol
i
sanam forzonkei
zi
ntoezi
mbi
endiz
enzil
eyo(iapol
ogi
zetoofort
hebad
thi
ngsIhavedone.)
Mul
l
er:
sonowcanwej
ustbeaf
ami
l
y.
I
sipho:ndici
ngakuzoba'
beter
ebasi ngandi
bani
-
(
Ithinkitwouldbebett
erifwejustdon'tmeet-
)
Issy
:meet
.Ther
e'stoomuchhurtandmaybe
somedaywewil
l.Butfornow,
weallneedt
ime
apart.

Mul l
ersighed.Iguesssomet hingsar ej
ust
betterleftl
ikethat.Eventhought hesist
erhood
i
sf oreverbrokenI '
m happytheyapol ogi
zedand
allofthiswi l
lbebehindusandt heymaynot
spendt imet ogetherorasaf ami l
ybutnow
we'rebeingci vi
l.That'
sgood.Lat eronthatday,
thefami l
ywentbackhomeandIwasi nmy
room wat chingsomeTVwhenIhear dmydoor
beingknockedon.
Me:
comei
n.

Mul
lercameinandIknewt
hiswast
het
alk.
Gi
vemest r
engt
hJesus.

Mul
l
er:
sowhendi
dithappen?
Me:
what
?

Ipl
ayedlostinhopesofhi
m dr
oppi
ngit
.Iknow
hehatesitwhenpeoplepl
aydumb,maybethen
he'
l
lleaveit
?Ijustdon'
twantt
otal
kabouti
t.

Mul
l
er:
don'
tgetonmyner
ves.
Me:
uhm.
..ont
he24t
h.
Mul
l
er:
condom?
Me:
..
.yes.
Il
ookeddown.Ican'
ttel
lhi
m wefuckedr
aw.
I'
m cl
eananyway.Ithi
nkheknewIwaslyi
ng
becausehel
ookedatmewi thsomuchanger
.I
knewIhadtotel
lthetr
uth.

Me:IgottestedandI'
m cl
ean,I
'
m notev
en
pr
egnant.I'
m sorr
y.
Muller
:*si
ghs*Ijustdon'
tknowany mor
e
Lel
ona.I '
mtryi
ng,andIjustdon'tknow.Doy
ou
wanttobeahousewi fewithkids?Ordie
becauseofAids?
Me:
I-
Mull
er:Igetit
.Youwanttowasteallt
hemoney
wespenti nyourst
udiestobeahousewif
efor
hi
m, becausehe'sr
ich.Bedif
fer
entmanLelona!
Ther
ear esomanygi rl
swholosethei
rli
ves
bei
ngr eckl
essli
keyou!
Me:
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.I
twon'
thappenagai
n.
Mull
er:"
itwon'
thappenagain"*chuckl
es
angr
il
y*youtooarepract
ical
lysoinloveevena
bl
indpersoncoul
dsenseitandy ou'
retel
l
ingme
i
twon'thappenagai
n.
Me:I'
m sorr
y.ButKhaziml
a.I
'm notachil
d
any
mor e.I
'm 19turni
ng20nextyear
.Ican'
tbe
ababyforever.Youhavet
oacceptit
.

Hesi ghedbecauseheknewIwasr i
ght.Ismi
led
weakl yandgotupt ogivehim ahug.Even
thoughhe' supsetIknowhewon' thurtme.This
guyi spracti
cal
lymyf at
her.Hehasbeen
throughhel l
withme.AndIunder st
andhowhe
feelsbutnowI '
m olderandhehast oletme
growup.

Me:
I'
m gr
owi
ngupandy
ouhav
etoaccepti
t.
[
02/
18,
07:
34]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT14
.
.
×3YEARSLATER×
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
Ifi
xedmydr essget t
ingreadyfort
hebigday
ahead.Ismiledlooki
ngi nt
omymi rror
.I
squeal
edwhenIsawmybi gbrot
herMull
er.I
rantogivehim ahugwi thtear
sthreat
eni
ngto
fal
lbutIdidn'twanttoruinmymakeup.

Me:
youcame!
Mul
l
er:
Iwoul
dn'
tmi
ssi
tfort
hewor
ld.
Ilookedathi m wit
hsadey es.Hehadmov edt
o
hisownpl aceandi twashar df ormebecauseI
wassousedt ohavinghim aroundwher ev
erI
wentbutIknewhecoul dn'tl
ivewithI ssyi
twas
amant hingi tmadehi mf eelinfer
ior.Heisnow
l
ivingwithJay deandt hei
r2y earol dson,
Yanga'i
nkosi .Il
ovethathenamedhi m aft
er
King.Ther easonIwassur pri
sedhecamewas
becausehewentt oahei stthinginDur banandI
didn'
tthinkhewoul dcomeandsuppor tme
today.

Mul
l
er:
howdoy
ouf
eel
?
Me:
ner
vous.
Muller
:you'
l
lbeokay
.I'
m pr
oudofy
oul
i
ttl
e
si
ster.
Me:Iknow.Throughall
thepai
nwewent
t
hroughandfinal
lyi
t'
shappeni
ng.
Mul
l
er:
justl
i
keKi
ngwoul
d'
vewant
ed.
Me:
I'
m gr
aduat
ingf
ort
het
hreeofus.

Mybr ot
hersnev erhadthechanceforvarsi
ty
becauseoff i
nancialpr
oblemsandIthinkthat
's
whytheywer esohar donmet ograduate.I
t
meantsomucht othem t
hatIdi
ditforthem.I
wasthef i
rsttograduatei
nmyf amily.

Me:
soaf
tert
hecer
emony
-
Mul
l
er:we'
real
lmeet
ingatRel
l
ik'
shousef
or
t
hepar
ty.
Me:I'
m sohappytobedonewi
thschool
!AndI
hav
eanewi nter
nshi
p,myli
fei
slooki
nggood.
Mul
l
er:
youdeser
veal
lofi
t.
Me:
thanky
ou.You'
regoi
ngt
omakemecr
y.
Mul
l
er:
letmel
eav
e*l
aughs*
Me:
thanky
ouf
orcomi
ng.
Mul
l
er:
seey
out
her
eki
d.

Inodded.Hewal kedoutandIt ookt issuest o

wipemyt ears.It'
sbeen3y ear sandal l Icansay
i
s, myl ifehasbeengood.Yest herewer esome
hiccupsbuti thasn'tbeent oomuch.Meand
Xav ierar est i
llgoingst rong.Wewentt est ing
toget herandhewascl ean, andsi nceIwas
graduat ingIwasof ft hei njection4mont hsago.
Her eal l
ywant edaki d, especi allyagi rl.Iwant ed
towor kbuthepr omi sedt hati twoul dn' tcome
i
nbet weenmywor k.Heal way ssay shewant sa
kidjustl ikeme.AndIwantonej ustl i
kehi m.It
wasn' tat oor eveali
ngdr essbuti twasn' tt oo
hidingt oo.Myboobswer ehi ddenbymyweav e.
Itookmycandybarandst art
edeat ingi t
becauseIwashungr y,af tereat ingt hati t'
sl i
keI
wasi nviti
ngf oodmor e.Iwentdownst ai rsand
gotmy sel fthespi cychi ckenl ickenwi ngsand
dippedt hem i nchocol ate.Imoanedathow
deli
ci oust heywer e.Af tereat ing, Issywal kedin
whi
l
eIwascl
ear
ingt
het
abl
e.

I
ssy
:you'
rer
eady
?
Me:
yes.
Issy
: I
'
m soproudofy ou, Lona.Topasswit
h
suchgoodmar ks.I
t'
samazi ngt
owatchyou
groweachandev eryday .From bei
ng19to
seeingyoutur
nintoa22y earol
dbeaut
if
ull
ady
.
*cri
es*itamazesmeev eryt i
me.
Me:
thanky
ou*
cri
es*Il
ovey
ou,
mom.
I
ssy
:Il
ovey
out
oo,
sweet
ie.

Wesharedalonghug,
unt
ilwebot
hpul
l
edapar
t
andst
artedl
aughi
ng.

I
ssy
:Nowl
et'
sgobef
orey
oubecomel
ate.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
IaskedFif
itohandl
ethewhol ehousebecauseI
wouldendupshootingpeopleift
hingsdon'tgo
myway .Iwantmywi f
etobehappyandt hi
ngs
ri
ghtnowatt hi
spar
tylookslowandi ft
hey
don'tt
urnoutgoodIwill
tearthi
ngsup.

Fi
fi
:howi
sshe?
Me:
exci
tedf
orev
ery
thi
ng.
Fi
fi
:ofcour
sesheis.*
laughs*shemustbe
morehappyaboutt
heinter
nship.
Me:yes.ButI
'
m mor
eexci
tedaboutherof
f
var
sit
ymeaningmor
eti
met ospendwithme
*
smi r
ks*
Fi
fi
:yout
wopr
omi
sedmeababyaf
tershe
gr
aduat
es.
Me:*l
aughs*she'
sof
fthei
nject
ionsowe'
l
ljust
hav
etowai t
.

Icouldn'tevendescri
bethesmil
eonFi f
i'
sface.
Shewasr eall
yexci
tedaboutt
his,probably
moret hanus.Iwasmor enervousthan
anything.TodayIwasgoi ngt
odosomet hi
ngI
should'vedoneal ongti
meago.

Ghost
:Rel
l
ik!

Il
ookedathim,andhemot
ionedf
ormet
o
comeclosert
ohim.

Ghost
:sodoy
ouhav
eit
?
Me:
yes.
Ghost
:hersi
ze?
Me:
yes.*
sighs*
Ghost:you'
renothav
ingsecondt
hought
snow
ar
ey ou?*laughs*
Me:
no.Nev
er.
Ghost:i
t'
sgoodseeingyougrowupki
d.Never
i
nami l
l
ionyear
sdidIseeyouasthemarr
iage
t
y pe,
butiknowhowshemakesy oufeel
.And
youwantheroffthemarket
Me:
no-
onecanhav
eherbutme.*
laughs*
Noel
l
e:Uncl
eXav
ier
!

Noellerantomewi t
hhisarmswi deopen.I
l
aughedandpi ckedhi m up.ShewasScr appy
andNel l
a'
sdaught er.Shewasal someand
Lona'sgoddaughter.Shewast urning3inafew
mont hsandboywassheexci tedaboutthat.
Shedef i
nit
elyhashermot her'
stalkati
ve
personali
ty.
Me:
heyki
ddo.Wher
ear
eyourpar
ent
s?

RightoncueScrappyandNel l
awalkedi
nbei
ng
l
ov eydovey
.LasttimeIcheckedtheywer
enot
ongoodt er
msbutIguessnobodyknowswhat
happensinarel
ationshi
p,exceptt
hose2
peopleandthewallsint
heirrooms.

Nel
la:
webet
tergetgoi
ngorel
sewe'
l
lbel
ate
guy
s!
~~
Every
onewasher edancingandIwasdancing
withmyev erbeautif
ulwifeLona.Herbackwas
faci
ngme, Iheldherwaistandlaidmyheadon
hershoul
derwhi l
emov i
ngsidetosidet
oMajor-
Thisi
swhyIl ovey ou.Shewaseat i
ngsome
braaimeatandshesai dshewoul dn'
tst
opeven
i
fIaskedhert odance.
Me:
I'
m pr
oudofy
oubaby
.
Lona:
thanky
ou,
baby
.Il
ovey
ou.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Lona:
it'
scr
azyt
hatwel
ast
edf
or4y
ear
s.
Me:
whyi
sithar
dtobel
i
eve?*
laughs*
Lona:agir
lli
kemetami
ngt
hebadboyev
ery
gi
rlwantedtohav
e.
Me:I
'm happyi
twasy ou.Thehappi
nessyou
gi
vemei sundeni
ableandwithouty
ouI'
d
pr
obabl
ybehear t
less.

Shesnif
fed,andIl
ookedather.Shewasr eal
ly
cry
ing.Iknewmybabywasacr ybabyjustnot
thi
smuch.Ichuckl
ed,shetur
nedar ound
makingusstopdanci
ng.

Lona:
thatwassosweet
.
Nel
l
a:Lona!Comeopenuppr
esent
s!
Igl
aredather
.Can'
tsheseewe'
rehav
inga
momenthere.

Nel
l
a:cal
m downRel
l
iki
t'
snotl
i
key
out
wo
wer
efucki
ng.

Iheardl aughs.Theykeepent er
tainingher
smartmout h.Ishookmyheadchuckl ing.That
gir
lhasnof il
t er.IsawMul lerhangi ngoutwi t
h
YangasoIf i
gur edthiswast hechancet odoi t.I
knowi '
m adi srespectfulguybutIt hinkMul ler
wouldlikei ti
fIaskedf orhi ssister'
shandi n
marriagebecauset heirf
at herisaspi neless
punk.Yangal ookedatmeandIsmi led.Iplaced
Lona'spl at
eont hetableandsatdown.He
walkedt owar dsme, Icouldseehewas
str
ugglingi twast ooador able.Het riedcl i
mbi ng
onmyl ap,soIhel pedhim upandhewant edt he
meat.Ishookmyheadl aughi ngwi thMul l
er.He
wasj
ustl
i
kehi
saunt
,cr
azyaboutf
ood.

Me:
weneedt
otal
k.
Mul
l
er:
soundsser
ious.
Me:
uhm.
..i
tis.Wel
l
...i
-
Mul
l
er:
*chuckl
es*y
ouwantt
omar
ryher
.
Me:
yeah.Howdi
dyou-
?
Mul
l
er:
Scr
appycan'
tkeepasecr
et.
Me:
thatbast
ard*
laughs*doessheknow?
Mul
l
er:
noty
et.
Me:
doIhav
eyourbl
essi
ngs?
Muller:y
ouhav ebeenmakingherveryhappy
theselasty
ears.AndIwantwhat '
sbestforher
.
Youhav egivenherthebestsoIagr
ee.Youcan
mar r
yher.
Me:
thanksman.Wher
e'st
her
estoft
hef
ami
l
y?
Mul
l
er:
let
'
sjustsaymom andauntdon'
tfav
our
Lonaal
ot.
Me:
yourdad?
Mul
l
er:
mom pul
l
shi
m byhi
snose.
Me:
damn.
Mul
l
er:
butatl
eastshehasusher
e.

InoddedandIknewhewasaboutt osay
somet hi
ng.Yangawant edtoeatthebigger
piecesoIhadt ocutitl
i
ttlepi
eces.HethoughtI
wast aki
ngit,
hegav emet hebiggestgl
areever
.
Ismiled,gi
vi
nghimt hetinypi
eces.

Mull
er:
I'
mt r
ust
ingmysist
erwit
hyouXav
ier
.
Sheshoul
dn'
tbecry
ingatall
.
Me:
Iwoul
dnev
erl
etat
earf
all
downherf
ace.
Mull
er:Idon'twanthercomi ngt
omewi tha
br
okenhear ttoo.Youfeell
ikeyou'
rer
eadyfor
marr
iage,doi t
.Butdon'tbr
eakherheartand
excepthert
ost
ayj
ustbecauseofmar
ri
age.
Me:Il
oveherwi
thever
yfi
brei
nmybody
.I
woul
dneverdot
hat.
Muller
:thenyoubet
terst
artpr
epar
ingy
our
speech,boy.

Hel aughedpi ckingupYanga.Yangahadt hi

s
smal lpoutl i
kehewasaboutt ocry,Muller
glaredatmeandhedi dn'tcrybutjustlaidhis
headonhi sshoul der.Ilovedt hei
rfatherson
relationshi p.Allmyf r
iendshav eki
dsexceptf or
me, butIr efusedt ocheatonLonaandhav e
kidswi thouther .Shewoul dnev erforgiveme.
Wewenti nside,andIchuckl edatCar do
bot heringLona.Car dodr oppedoutofv arsit
ya
yearago, hewasnowaf ul
ltimegangst erby
hijackingcar s,reinventi
ngt hem andsel li
ng
them t ot hehi ghestbi dder.Al t
houghLonawas
abi tdi sappoi nt
edhewon' tgraduatewi thher,
shehadt osuppor thi
sdeci sionregardless.
Dyl
anwentt oLonaandgav eheracupcake.
Shesmi l
edandpickedhim up.Idon'tknowwhy
shestil
ltr
eat
sthatchil
dli
keababy .ButI
underst
andthat
'sthefi
rstchil
dsheknew.Now
Scrappyhasakid,Mull
erhasaki d.Allt
hat'
slef
t
i
sus.Iknowshewant edt oworkf i
rstbutIwant
akidfast.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Rel
l
ikcamet
omeandIf
ini
shedt
hecupcake.

Dyl
an:whyisy
ourtummybi
gandhar
d.I
twasn'
t
l
iket
his*gi
ggl
es*
Me:
what
?!
Dy
lan:
*chuckl
es*ory
ou'
rebecomi
ngf
at.
Iplacedhi
m downof fended.Hef rownedand
huggedmyl egs.Relli
kt henfinal
lyr eachedus.
Hewi pedmyt ears,becauseIwasof fendedt
hat
Dy l
ancall
edmef at.NowayI 'm pregnantasof
yet.Thedoctorsaidaf t
erthei nj
ectionitmay
takealotoftimet ogetpr egnantpr obablya
yearorso.

Rel
l
ik:
what
'swr
ong?
Me:
justhappyt
ear
s.

Ismi l
edt hr
oughmyl i
e.Dyl
anwentbacktohis
fatherandmot her
.I'
m happyal
lmyfri
endsare
heresoi twasagooddayf orme.Rel
li
ktooka
glassandl i
ghtl
ysmackeditwit
haforkgradi
ng
everyone'satt
enti
onandthemusicwasturned
off.
Rell
ik:okay ,we' r
eher etocel ebratethe
graduat i
onofmybeaut i
ful gi r
lf
ri
end.Baby ,Iam
sopr oudofy ou.Thesl eepl essnightsandt he
hardst udyinghav egi veny out heresul
tsthat
youdeser ve.From t hemomentImety ouat
yourbrot her'shousei nt hepar ty
,Iknewt here
wassomet hingf ascinatingabouty ouandIhad
toexplorei t.From thedaywecamebackf rom
EastLondonandy ouagr eedt obemygi r
lfri
end
Ilovedy ouev enmor e.Lel ona, youstayedwi th
meandhel dmedownt hr oughmyhar dday s.
Thecoma, andendl esst ripssomeofy oudidn't
approve.* chuckl es*y ouchangedme, you
changedmet oapoi ntwher eIhavebecomea
pussyt omyf ri
ends...* l
aughs*
Scr
appy
:pussy
!

Thewhol
eroom l
aughed,Ij
oinedi
nlaughi
ngas
wel
lwipi
ngmytears.
Rel
li
k:Iloveyousomuch, themomentIthi
nkof
youwithoutme, It
urncr
azybecauseyou'
reone
ofakindandI '
m notwil
l
ingtolosey
ou.

Hegotononekneemaki ngthewholer
oom
scr
eam i
nhappiness.Iwasshockedmyeyes
poppedoutcr
yingli
kecrazy
.Iwasspeechl
ess.

Rel
li
k:Il
oveyou,
andIwantyoutohavethe
samesurnameasme.Ineverwantt
oletyougo.

Het
ooktheri
ng,
andIscreamedl
ooki
ngati
t.
MyGod,
itwassobeaut
if
ul!

Rel
l
ik:
wil
lyoumar
ryme?

Inoddedwit
hnowordscomingoutcr
ying
hyst
eri
cal
ly
.Hechuckl
edpl
acingther
ingonmy
engagementfi
nger.Assoonashegotup,I
huggedhim.Iam goi
ngtobemarr
yingthel
ove
ofmyl i
fe.
~~
Wewereal
lcel
ebrati
ngathiscl
ubhavingfun.
Mygr
aduat
ionpartyandIgotengagedtoday.
Wow,whatali
fe.

Scrappy
:goodluckbei
ngst
uckwi
tht
hisf
ool
for
ever*l
aughs*
Me:
Idon'
tmi
nd.

Ichuckl
edgiv
ingagri
nningXavi
eraki
ss.I
couldn'
tst
opstar
ingatmyring.

Scrappy:Whoknewyouwouldbestuck
togetherf
ort
heseyears?wow!Hedidagood
j
obki ll
i
ngOmarforyou-
Hequi
cklykeptshut
,andIgl
aredatXav
ier
.He
di
dwhat!?
[
02/
18,
07:
35]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT15
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
IglaredatScrappy,healway sdi
dhav ealoose
mout hwhenhewasdr unk.Nell
alookedatus
shocked.Icouldn'
tbarel ooki
ngatLonaand
seeinghersadey es,IknewOmarst i
llhel
da
specialpl
aceinherhear tbecausehewast he
fi
rstboyfr
iendshehadandhedi edwhilethey
wereongoodt er
ms.Sheroughl
yremovedmy
handandwalkedoutthecl
ub.Isi
ghedgul
ping
al
ltheHennessyshoti
nmymout h.

Me:
youbet
terf
ucki
ngpr
ayshef
orgi
vesme.

IsaidtoScrappyi
nanger
.IranafterLonaandI
sighedwhenIsawshewasal readyoutsi
dewit
h
tears,
herphonewasonthatletmeknowshe
call
edanUber .

Me:
Lonapl
ease-
Lona:
don'
tyoudar
efucki
ngt
alkt
ome!

Myj awsfur
rowedi nanger,peopl
ewer
elooki
ng
atuschuckling.Sheneededt oshowmeat
l
eastabitofr espectbef
oreIbecomeajoket
o
thesestr
eets.
Me:
lel
onagetbacki
nthatcl
ub.
Lona:
uyany
a(y
ou'
reshi
tt
ing)
Me:wewil
ltal
kli
keproperadult
sinmyoff
ice.
Getbacki
nthatf
ucki
ngclubrightnow!
Lona:fucky
ouRell
ik!Iknewyouwer
ebadIjust
di
dn'tknowy ouwoulddothi
s!Ani
nnocent
person!Why?!
Me:
lel
onaI
'
m notr
epeat
ingmy
sel
f.

TheUberparkednextt
oussi
ncei
twast
heonl
y
par
kingspacelef
t.

Lona:
Ican'
tbel
i
evey
ou'
ret
hisev
il
.

Shetookof fherri
ngandthat
'swhenIstar
ted
pani
cking.Shethrewitatmeandgotinthe
Uber
.Ipi ckeditupandbefor
eIcouldruntoher
shewasal
readygonewi
tht
heUber
.

Me:
fuck!

Idi
dn'
tcareaboutt
hestar
es.Istormedinsi
de
angr
il
y,howcouldmyownbestf ri
endsnit
ch
meout!Tomysoont obewife!Heknowshow
muchshemeanst ome!

Scrappy:I
'
m sosor
rybr
uh.I
tjustcameout
,I
don'tev
enknowwhathappened-

Bef or
ehecoul dev
enpr oceedIthrewt hefir
st
punch.Maki ngusfightintheclub.Everyone'
s
attenti
onwasonus.Icoul dmost lyhearNella
screaming.Whent hef i
ghtwasof fi
cial
ly
brokenoff,
IcouldseeIdi dhim bad,andIknew
hehadgoodj abst
oo, Iwon'tl
i
eatal l
.
Me:y
oubetterf
ucki
ngprayshedoesn'
tleav
e
mebecauseyourl
if
ewil
lbehell
withyour
f
ucki
ngloosemouth.

Ipushedt heguyhol dingme.ThenIr ushedout

theclub.WhenIwasatI ssy'
scribshet ol
dme
Lonaspeci fi
call
yt ol
dherIshouldn'
tgot oher,
butissyli
kesmeashersoni nlawsoshel et
megoupst airs.Iknockedonherdoor ,Iheard
herlight"
comei n"Iknewshewascr y
ingandi t
brokemet hatIwast hereasonforthat.ButI
don'tregr
etwhatIdi dbecausethenIwoul dn'
t
havehadher .Icouldseeabitofconcer nonher
facebecauseIwasbr ui
sedbutherfacewent
backt oangerqui ck.

Me:
Lel
onapl
ease.
Shesatupandglar
edatme,butIwasn'
tgi
vi
ng
upatal
l.Shescr
eamedthr
owingherpil
l
owat
me.

Lona:l
eave!Ifuckinghat
ey ouformakingme
feel
thebloodonmyhands.Howcoul dyou!?I
coul
dforgivet
heKay l
apartbutOmar !
?You
knewhowmuchhemeantt ome!Hewassani t
y
andmyf i
rstboyfri
endandf i
rstki
ss.Youjust
hadtokil
lhim becauseyou'reaself
ishbastar
d
andIdeservebetter.
Me:
youdon'
tmeant
hat
.Wel
oveeachot
her
.
Lona:I
'
m notstay
ingwit
hsomeonewho
murderspeopl
etogetwhatt
heywant
.
Me:
ithappenedy
ear
sago!
Lona:
itdoesn'
tmat
ter
!Youcan'tki
l
lpeopl
eto
getwhatyouwant
!That'
sfucki
ngwrong.
Me:l
elonayouknewIwasagangsterf
rom t
he
st
art
.Youthinkwej
ustsi
tal
ldayandplay
chess!
?
Lona:
itdoesn'
tmeani
nnocentpeopl
eshoul
d
di
e!
Me:Icoul
dn'tl
etyoupassmeby .Ij
ustcoul
dn'
t.
Il
oveyoufrom themomentIl
aideyesony ou.
Lona:
leav
e.*
cri
es*
Me:
Lel
ona-
Lona:
justpl
easegi
vemespace.Leav
e.

IsighedandIwal kedout .Issyofferedme

coffeeandIwashappyshewasmor ecalm
thanherdaught er.Afterhoursofust al
kingon
howIcanchar m Lonaback, sheagreedIcould
sleepoverjustnosex .Iwentbackt oLona's
room.Shewasasl eepandmyhear tbrokeonce
Inot i
cedherfacewaspuf fymeani ngshewas
crying.It
ookof fmycl othesandgoti nbehind
herspooni ngher.Ikissedthebackofherneck.
Shegotcl osertome, andIsmi l
ed.Iknewshe
l
ovedmewayt oomucht ol
etthi
sdamageus.
Myphonevibr
atedonmysideboardbutI
i
gnoredi
tanddrif
tedof
ftol
alaland
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
IgotoffRelli
ktobrushmyt eet
handf aceandI
didlookhideous.Iwentbackt otheroom, hi
s
phonev i
bratedandapar tofmewant edtolook
atthosemessagesbecauseIf eell
ikeIdon't
knowhi m anymore.Ididn'
tknowt hepasswor d
soIsliddownt henoti
fi
cationsandIsawK9' s
textandWi z'
stext.

K9 :
send80gi
rl
stoCongot
hat
'
squi
ck
moneyf
ort
hecr
ew.
Wiz :
itdoesn'
tl
ookl
i
kehe'
l
ltal
k.Let
'
send
hi
m

Myheartfel
li
ntomystomachandIf el
thi
m
l
ooki
ngatme.Iquickl
yplacedhisphonedown,
hetr
iedhuggingmebutImov edback.

Me:
don'
t.Pl
ease.

Iwasscar edofhimthet ear

sfel
ldown.Hewas
i
ntohumant raf
fi
cki
ng.Idon'tev
enknowt he
guyi nfrontofme.Iknewhewasagangst erbut
Ididn'tknowhesol dinnocentgi
rl
sfrom money .
Ifeltl
ikecr y
ing.Whohav eIbeeninl
ov ewith?
WasIr eal
lygoingtomar ryt
hismonster?

Me:
pleasel
eav
e,we'
redone.Forgood.
Rel
l
ik:
youdon'
tmeant
hat
.

Hetr
iedsteppingcloser
,Iscr
eamedscar
edof
hi
m.Issyquicklycameintheroom

I
ssy
:what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
Iwanthi
m gone.
Rell
i
k:baby,
youknowIwouldnev
erhur
tyou.
Especi
all
ynotonpur
pose.
Me:
whatar
eyou?Inev
erwantt
oseey
ouagai
n!
I
ssy
:Lel
ona.
Me: y
ou'reamurdererandnotonlythaty
ousel
l
gir
ls,
innocentgi
rl
s!Justformoney.Inever
knewIwast hisbl
ind.Pl
easeleav
e.
Rel
l
ik:
Lel
ona-
me:
leav
e!!
!
I
ssy
:It
hinki
t'
sbesty
ougi
vehersomespace.
~~
Mostoft heweeksIspenti nmyr oom cr ying
andjustf eeli
ngdown.Ican' tbel i
eveher eallyis
i
nhumant raff
ickingandhe' ski l
li
ngpeopl e.I
knewhewasagangst erIjustdi dn'tknow
i
nnocentgi rlssuf f
er edbecauseofi t.Wasmy
ri
ngboughtwi tht hatdi rtymoney ?Itpainedme
mor et hinkingabouti t.Whati fitwasmysi ster?
Myf riend?Mycousi n?Ni ece?I tshoul dn't
happent oany one.Icr iedev enmor echecki ng
thepr egnancyt est.Iwasr eal l
ypr egnant !Iwas
givi
ngamonst eranot herinnocentsoul totake.
Icouldnev erletthathappen.Icoul dn' tcall
Nell
abecauseshewon' tagreewi thmydeci sion.
Mullerwoul dkillmei fIkillhisni eceornephew.
Nowayi nhel l
I'm cal l
ingRel lik.Ican' tcall
Cardot oo,issywi llprobabl ysl apme.I fIhav e
thi
sbabywi thRel l
ikwe' ll
bet iedf orev erandI
don'twantt hat.Imadei tper fectlycleartohi mI
wasdone.Andhesai dl et'
st akeabr eakt hen
continuewher ewel ef toff.Br eakmyass, I'
m
donewiththathear
tl
essmonst
er.Ical
l
ed
Brandonbecausehecanhel
p.

Br
andy
:bougi
ebi
tch!
Me:
Ineedy
ourhel
p*sni
ff
s*
Br
andy
:whati
sit
?Any
thi
ng.
Me:Iwanty
out
ocomewi
thmet
ogetan
abor
ti
on.
Br
andy
:what
!?
Me:
don'
tj
udgemej
ustpl
easehel
pme.

Icanfocusonmycareeraf
terthisbecause
cl
earl
yl ovei
sn'
ti
nmygoodl i
st.HesighedandI
coul
dt ell
hewasreal
l
ythi
nkingaboutit.

Brandy
:areyousur
e?Imeany
oul
ovet
hatsexy
hunkofyour
s.
Me:
he'
snotmi
neany
mor
e.
Brandy:don'
ttel
lmeyoucheat
edandhad
anotherman'sbaby
Me:
brandy
!?
Br
andy
:Ihadt
oknow?
Me:
I'
ll
leav
ethehouseunl
ocked.
Br
andy
:ai
ghtgi
rl
iwe.

Ihungupandwi pedmyt ears.Iknowt hi

swi l
l
hurtbutIwasonl y2mont hsbecauset hat'
s
what8weeksmeanr i
ght ?Icanal wayshave
anotherbabywi thmyf uturehusbandwhoi sn'
t
Rell
ik.Igotdressedi nmar oonv elvetAdi
das
tr
acksui twit
hblackNi kesneaker s.Itookmy
chanel handbagt hathadmyphoneand
everything.Brandyr eallycameandassoonas
hesawmeheat tackedmewi thahug.
Br
andy
:you'
rer
eal
l
ydoi
ngt
his?
Me:
yes.
Br
andy
:I'
l
lbet
her
esuppor
ti
ngy
ou,
dol
lface.

Inoddedandwedr ov
eof ft
hereinhiscar.On
thewaythereSam Smi t
hwaspl ayi
ngandt he
atmospherewasjustsad.Brandonwast exti
ng
alotonhisphone.Ihopehedoesn' tcrashthis
car.Whenwear r
ivedattheplace.Isighedwi th
mypalmssweat i
ng.IhopeGodf or
givesmef or
thi
s.

Brandy:goin,
Ihav
etomakeaqui
ckcal
l
.I'
l
lbe
ri
ghtthere

Inoddedandwentinsi
de.Aftersi
gningup,I
wasgivenpi
ll
s,Ist
aredatthem forhadn'
tl
ong
ti
me.
Nurse:i
t'
sokayify
ou'
rechangi
ngy
ourmi
nd.
You'r
eenti
tl
edto.
Me:canIdri
nkthem onmyownti
me?Ifeel
I
needanhourbefor
eIdri
nkt
hem.Justt
o
apol
ogi
zetoGod.
Nurse:
youcangosi
tsweet
ie.I
'
llat
tendot
her
pat
ient
s.

InoddedandIwashappyshewasani cenurse
thosearer
aretofind.Isatdownl ookingatt he
pil
lsIwassti
ll
inthewai t
ingchai r
s.Shoul dI
dri
nkthem?Icouldal waysmov eandhe' l
lnever
knowaboutmypr egnancy .Iheardadoorbei ng
banged,whenIlookedup.Ther eRell
i
kwas
l
ookingsoangry,Ithoughthewasgoi ngt okill
me.Hepul l
edmer oughlymaki ngthepi ll
sfall
offmyhand.Thecupofwat erIwasgiv enwas
nowont hefl
oor.
Nur
se:
sir
!Youcan'
tj
ustcomei
nher
eand-

Hepointedagunathermaki ngmycr ysil

ent
ly.
Hepulledmeoutt heplace.Brandonoutsi
de
hadthislookofguil
tonhim.Ishoul dn'
thave
tr
ustedhim.Idon'tevenknowhowhehas
Rell
i
k'snumber.

Brandy:youweregoingtor
egr
ett
hisLona.I
couldn'
tdothattoyou.

Irol
ledmyeyesandpushedRel
l
ikoffme.His
fr
iends,Wi
z,Scr
appy
,K9&Shooterlookedat
me, hewasever
yangryandt
heythoughtIwas
provoki
nghi
m.

Rel
l
ik:
youwer
egoi
ngt
oki
l
lmychi
l
d,l
elona!
Me:
Iwantnot
hingt
odowi
thy
ou!
Rel
li
k:Idon'
tgiv
eafuckt
hen!Butmychi
ldwi
ll
bebornthenyoucandowhatevert
hef
uckyou
want.

Iknewhewoul dti
emeupwi ththi
sbaby
.He
wantedusstuckforev
erandIhatedt
hat
.Iwas
goingt
oBrandy '
scar,
buthepul
ledmeback.

Rel
l
ik:
you'
rer
idi
ngwi
thme.

Heopenedthedoor,
Iroll
edmyey es.Heclosed
i
tandoncehegotin.Icouldsensebyhis
act
ionshewassti
llr
agingwithanger.

Rel
l
ik:
Inev
erknewy
ouast
hatt
ype.
Me:
Rel
l
ikpl
easeI
'
mti
red.
Rel
l
ik:
I'
mti
redoff
ight
ingwi
thy
out
oo.Lel
ona
youknowhowmuchababywoul
dmeant
ome.
Whywouldyoudot
hatt
ome?
Me:I'
mjusttir
ed.I
t'
slikeIdon'tevenknowy ou.
Humantraff
icki
ngisabi gthing.Iknewyou
wereagangsterIj
ustthoughty ouwere
i
nvolv
edindrugsonly.*cri
es*myconsci ence
j
ustwon'
tletmeallowt hi
st ohappen.
Rell
i
k: babythat '
swhyIdidn'
tinvolveyouinmy
busi
nessesbecauseIknowhowf ragi
leyouare.
Seeingy oucrymakesmyhear thurt.Butbaby,
thegangneedst hemoney .Ican'trunthegang
basedonmyf iancé'sconsci
ence.Thatwi l
l
l
eaveusbankr upt!Pl
easejustlovemef orme
andnotgeti nvolvedinmybusi ness.Myphone
i
sisof flimi
tsy ouknowt hat
.

Iwantedtobemadathim, Ir
eallydi
dbuthim
cal
li
ngmebabyandhewasl ookinggood.Ij
ust
coul
dn't
.Il
ookedoutthewindow.Ifaced
for
wardonceIheardgunshots.Iwai
ledwhenI
sawBrandon'
scarbei
ngshotandi
tfal
l
ingof
f
ther
oadandgoingint
ofl
ames.

Rel
l
ik:
rol
lyourseatdownnow!
Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?*
cri
es*
Rel
l
ik:
lel
onaman!
!!

Iquickl
yrol
ledmyseatmakingmelookli
kei
am layi
ngonabed.Iwatchedhimtakeouthi
s
gun,Iheldmymouthtry
ingtotonedownmy
screams.Whatisgoi
ngon!?
[
02/
18,
07:
36]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT16
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Iwatchedhim st
artshooti
ngwhil
ethecarwas
wasspeedingoff.Heturnedwhi
lethecarwas
fast
,thatmademescr eam.Ithi
nkthatworr
ied
him morebecausehelookedatmebuthisey es
werestil
lcol
dwithanger.

Rell
i
k:opent
hedashboar
dandputt
he
headset
son!
Me:
Xav
ier
!
Rell
ik:
lel
onaiam t
ryi
ngtosavet
hebothofus
hereandIdon'
tneedtoworr
yabouty
ouwhile
shooti
ng!

Hewasshouti
ngandIqui
ckl
ytookt
he
headset
sandpl
acedt
hem onmyears.Myt
ear
s
fel
ll
ookingatt hemassacr einf r
ontofmyey es.
ThankGodt hewi ndowswer ebul letproof.Il
aid
backdownandputmyseatbel ton.Af ter30
minutesoft hewhol eshoot ing.Thecarcamet o
astop.Itfeltl
ikeIwasi nav ideogame, t
hisi
s
whyIneededt odot heabor t
ion.Ican' trai
sea
chi
ldinal i
feliket his.Hegotout .Igotupand
l
ookedathi m arguingwi thhisf r
iends.Icouldn'
t
hearwhathewassay ingbecauset heheadset s
weresoundpr oof .All Iheardwassi lence.I
gaspedwhenhesl appedK9, andK9l ethim!
Howcanhebesodi srespectfultopeopl ehis
age!?Ididn'twantt ogeti nvolvedIwasev en
havi
ngabi tofpai ncr amps.Ij ustwant edtolay
down.Hecamebackandhecoul dsee
somet hi
ngwaswr ongwi thme.

Rel
l
ik:
you'
reokay
?
Me:
Brandon?
Rel
l
il
:hehasabi
tofbur
nsbuthe'
l
lsur
viv
e
Ibreat
hedinrel
i
ef.Idi
dn'
twanthi
m deadeven
thoughIwassti
llangr
yathi
m.Hebasical
l
y
rui
nedmyt r
ust.

Me:
rel
l
ik.
Rel
l
ik:babyy
ouknowhowIf
eel
aboutt
hat
word.
Me:st
opcall
i
ngmebaby
!Howdi
dthi
shappen?
What'
sgoi
ngon?
Rel
l
ik:
you'
l
lal
way
sbemybabynj
ena.

If
oldedmyarmsandl ookedaway
.Ineededto
bewithBr
andon.Icoul
dn'tl
eav
ehim al
one,and
Rel
li
kwasdriv
ingaway .

Me:
Ineedt
obewi
thBr
andon!
Rel
l
ik:
he'
l
lbef
ine.Ican'
tputy
ourl
i
featr
isk
andmybaby
'sl
i
featr
iskbyl
eav
ingy
oui
nthe
hospi
tal
.
Me:
Rell
ik!Myfr
iendi
shur
t,Ineedt
obet
her
e
t
osupporthi
m.
Rel
l
ik:
he'
l
lunder
stand
Me:
whathappened?Ar
eyoui
nawar
?
Rel
l
ik:
baby
-
Me:
anddon'
tyoudar
eli
etome.
Rel
li
k:K9ishavinganaff
airwi
ththi
sDurban
dude'
sgir
lf
ri
end.Hef oundoutandhebasical
l
y
wantsusalldead.
Me:
whyy
ou?Youdi
dn'
tfuckher
.Ordi
dyou?
Rel
l
ik:
don'
tdot
hat
.
Me:
dowhat
?You'
renotanswer
ingt
hequest
ion.
Rell
i
k:youknowy
ourpussyi
stheonl
ypl
ace
that
'sf
orme
Il
ookedaway ,feeli
ngmycheeksheatup.I
hatethathest
il
lhasanaff
ectonme.He
chuckledandIr
olledmyeyes.

Rell
ik:heknowsi
fi f
indoutheki l
l
edK9I'
l
lki
l
l
hi
m sohet ri
edki
ll
ingallthebir
dswit
hone
stone.Notknowi
ngt hathejustmadeabi
g
enemyoutofme.
Me:
didy
ouhav
etosl
apK9t
hough?
Rell
ik:yessohecanknowwhathedi disfucked
up.Youcoul d'
vebeenveryhurt.Ican'tl
osey ou
orourbaby .I'
l
lki
llhi
m myself
.Ther e'
splentyof
gi
rlsinCapeTownandhechooseher !He
deservedmor ethanaslapinthef ace.
Me:
youcan'
tchoosewhoy
oul
ove.
Rel
l
ik:
it'
snotl
ovei
t'
slust
.

Ifi
xedmyseatandplacedtheheadset
sbackt
o
thedashboar
d.Thepaincamebackagainabd
thi
sti
meIscr eamed.Helookedatmewor
ri
ed
almosthi
tt
ingthecarinf
rontofhi
m.

Rel
l
ik:
I'
mtaki
ngy
out
othehospi
tal
*wor
ri
ed*

Idi
dn'tev
enhavetheener
gyt
ofi
ghtback.Ij
ust
noddedfi
ght
ingbackthet
ear
s.Iwasinalotof
pai
n.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Doc:thebabyisfi
ne.You'
rej ustunderalotof
str
esswhichmakest hebabybei npain.Asyou
canheartheheart
beatisfaintbecauseofthe
str
essyou'r
ein.Youneedt ocalm down, or
you'
ll
losethebabyMi ssDani el
.
Lonawasst uckontheli
tt
lescreenlookingat
thefetus.Shehadtearsinhereyes.Inoddedat
thedoctorbecauseIknewshewasn' tgoingt
o
respond.

Doc:
I'
ll
wri
teupt
hepr
escr
ipt
ionf
orher
.

Inoddedandshewal
kedoutaf
tercl
eaning
Lonaup.Shewasnotshowi
ngyetbutIknewI
wouldbehappywhenshewas

Me:
youwon'
tki
l
lmychi
l
dLel
ona.

Sherol
ledhereyesandl
ookedaway.Ihel
dher
facer
oughlyandmadeherlookatme

Me:
doweunder
standeachot
her
!?I
fyoudoI
wi
ll
youkil
lthenki
l
lmy
sel
fandwe'
l
lpl
ayhappy
f
amilyi
nhell
.
Lona:
you'
recr
azy
.
Me:
crazyi
nlov
ewi
thy
ou.

Iki
ssedherbutshewasn'tresponding.I
wormedmyhandi nsidehert-shi
rtandbrushed
herskinsof
tl
ymakinghermoanandki ssme
back.Ismir
kedconti
nuingtokissherback.
~~
Aft
ergett
ingt
hepi
l
lsf
rom cl
i
ckswewentt
omy
house.

Lona:
youneedt
otakemebackhome.
Me:you'
regonnabewit
hmeforaf
ewhour
s
unt
ilK9sor
tshismessout
.
Lona:
Iguessi
t'
sanot
herwar
.
Me:
I'
ll
makesur
eitdoesn'
tl
eadt
othat
.
Lona:
mhm.

Isi
ghedbecauseIthoughtaf t
ertheki
ssshe
wouldf
orgiveme.Butnope, shewasstil
langr
y.
Shewalkedupstai
rstomyr oom and
i
mmedi at
elygotoutofhertracksui
tandwas
onl
yinhert-shi
rtt
hengotundert hecover
s.

Me:babypleasetel
lmewhatcanIdotosav
e
us.I
'
lldoanythi
ng.Ican'
tbar
elosi
ngy
ou

Sheturnedt
omyside,andlookedatme.Il
aid
onmysi def
aci
ngher.Iwasontopofthe
cover
s.

Lona:
Iwantt
het
rut
h.Whatexact
lydoy
oudo
Me:
Lel
ona.
Lona:
Ineedt
oknowwhatt
ypeofmonst
er'
s
chi
l
dI'
m car
ryi
ng.
Me:
don'
tsayt
hat
.
Lona:
tal
krel
l
ik.
Me: weselldrugs,mixthem anddi st
ributethem.
West ealcars,r
einventthem andsellthem.We
doheists.Wear ealsoinvol
vedinhuman
tr
affi
ckingandsel l
i
nggunst oot herpeoplein
othercountr
ies.Wedoal mostev er
ythingthat
hascashwedoi t.

Shewipedhert ears.ThisiswhyIneverwant ed
hertoknowbecauseshe' llbefr
agil
eandt hink
aboutal
lthebadshi t.Butinthi
swor l
dit'
sfuck
i
t.Eatorgeteaten.IfIwasn'tagangstermay be
someoneelsewasgoi ngtobedoingwhatIwas
doingsoit
'sreall
ynotmuchofabi gdeal.It
wouldhappenwi thorwithoutme.

Lona:
thecl
ubsar
eal
laf
ront
.
Me:
wecl
eant
hemoneyt
hatway
.
Lona:
moneylaunder
ingtoo.*
sighs*Icoul
dend
upbei
ngasingl
eparent.
Me:Lonayouwereperf
ectl
yfi
newi
thmebei
ng
agangst
er.Whathappened?
Lona:Iwasn'
tper
fect
lyfi
newi
thi
t.Ij
ust
tol
erat
edit.I
twasbefor
eachi
ldwasbrought
i
ntothis.
Me:l
elonawear
enotki
l
li
ngourchi
l
dnomat
ter
whatyousay
.

Shesi
ghedandl
ookedattheceil
i
ng.Ilookedat
her
.Shewassobeautif
ulandIknewpr egnancy
wasgonnamakerhermorebeauti
ful
.

Lona:I
'mjustscared.Ican'
traiseababyby
myself
.Ican'tbri
ngababyt ot hi
slif
est
y l
e
Rell
i
kit'
stoodanger ous.You'r
et hel
eadernow
meaningmor eenemi es.Thelastti
mey ouwent
i
ntowarwel
ostKi
ng.Ican'
tbr
ingachi
l
dint
o
t
his.
Me: baby,
I'
llbethereev erystepofthewaywith
you.Ipromisenot hi
ngwi llhappenbetweeny
ou
andourchild.Ipromise, t
hey '
l
lhavetokil
lme
fi
rstandthat'
simpossi ble.

Shekeptqui
etandIknewwewer en'
tonbad
ter
msany mor
ebecausehersighwasn'
tthe
annoy
edone.Justt
het i
redone

Lona:
whydi
dyoudoi
t?
Me:
lel
ona.
Lona:
youhav
etoanswerme.
Me:
str
essi
snotgoodf
ort
hebaby
.
Lona:
Ineedt
oknow.
Me:Ial
readytol
dyou.Ij
usthadt
ohaveyou,
I
coul
dn'
tletanot
herguyt
ouchyouandl
oveyou
whi
l
eyou'
remine.Iknewi
fOmarconti
nued
l
ovi
ngyoul
iket
hatIwouldnev
erhaveachance.

Shewipedhertear
s,IknewOmarwasat ouchy
subj
ectforher
.Butthatwasyear
sago.She
needstofocusonus.Notherdeadex.

Lona:
whoel
se-
?
Me:
lel
ona..
.
Lona:whoel
sedi
dyouki
llbecauseofme?
Besi
desKayl
aandOmar.
Me:
zikhona.Khany
iandNi
a.

Icoul
dn'ttel
lheraboutthet
hreesomeorkil
li
ng
them both.I
twouldonlyaddpetrol
toabigfi
re.
Shescreamedt hrowi
ngherheadont hepi
ll
ow.
Sheletoutasmal lcr
y.Imovedclosert
oher
huggingher,shecri
edinmyar ms.MaybeI
shoul
dn'
thav
etol
dher
.

Lona:
whydoy ouhavetokil
lthem!
?Can'
tyou
j
usthi
tthem t
henlett
hem go?Thei
rbl
oodison
myhands.
Me:
lel
onadi
dyouki
l
lpeopl
e?
Lona:
no,
but
-
Me:
thent
her
e'snobl
oodony
ourhands.
Lona:
Rel
l
ik.
Me:enoughaboutthi
sdi
scussi
onyou'
re
upset
ti
ngyoursel
fandmychil
d.Getsome
sl
eep

Iki
ssedherforeheadIknowLonasay sone
thi
ngbutherbodyl anguagesay sanotherwhi
ch
meansshest i
lll
ovesmeal ot.Afterheari
ng
herli
ghtsnor
es.Igent l
yremov edherandI
openedmydr awerf ort
hering.OnceIf oundi
ti
placedi
tbackonherfi
nger.Iwenttomystudy
andcall
edK9heneedst ofixhi
smessbeforeI
fuckhim upagai
n.Hel
ethisdickthi
nkf
orhim
andnowt hegangisi
nittoo.

Me:
youf
ixedi
t?
K9:
I'
m packi
ngf
ort
het
ri
p.
Me:
whatar
eyougongt
odo?
K9:
whatdoy
oumean?I
'
llki
l
lhi
m

Isi
ghed,howst
upi
dcanonebe?Especi
all
ya
doct
or.

Me:
thatwi
l
ljustcr
eat
ewari
diot
!
K9:
wel
lsmar
t-
asswhatdoy
ousuggestwedo!
?
Me:cal
lupameet
ingwit
hhi
m.We'
l
lgowi
th
youandcal
lupat
ruce
K9:i
fsomeonesl
eptwi
thLonawoul
dyouagr
ee
toagr
eetr
uce?
Me:
fuckno!
K9:
thenhe'
snotgoi
ngt
oagr
ee.
Me:
he'
snotme.
K9:t
hat
'shi
sbabymamaIf ucked.Lonai
syour
babymama.Samesi
tuat
ion.
Me:she'
smyfiancé.Don'
tmakemeangr
y,K9
youdon'
twanttr
oublewit
hme.
K9:
*si
ghs*Idon'
tthi
nkameet
ingwi
l
lhel
p.
Me:
it'
swor
that
ryt
heni
fnotwe'
l
lat
tack.
K9:
goti
t.
Me:
how'
sBr
andon?
K9:Il
efthi
m sti
l
lbei
ngt
reat
ed.Sendsomeone
tocheckonhim.
Me:
moj
a(shar
p)
Ihungup.AndIsatont heof f
icechai
r.SinceI
havetakenov ert
heganghasmademor e
moneybuti t
'shardwashi ngthemoneysoi t
waspi l
ingupi nourwar ehouseandwehav ea
higherri
skofbei ngcaught .Weneededi t
washed.Iwast hinkingofopeni nganothercl
ub
orrestaurant.Iheardaphoner i
ngi
ngandI
knewi twasi nmyr oom.Ir ushedther
eand
Lonawasal readyanswer ingherphonewi tha
sl
eepingv oice.Ididn'twanthert owakeupy et.
Thenshe'llgobackt ost r
essing.

Lona:Cardo.
..I
'
m atRel
l
ik'
shouse.
..y
eahbr
ing
hi
mt oo..
.lov
ey out
oobro.

Shehungupandt hat
'swhenshenot
icedme
standi
ngther
e.Icoul
dseehereyeswerepuf
fy
andherfacewasswollen.
Me:
Idon'
tl
ikeseei
ngy
oul
i
ket
his.
Lona:
stopmaki
ngmel
i
ket
his.
Me:baby,Ipr
omiseIwon'
thur
tany
one
any
mor eokay.
Lona:
you'
l
lst
ophumant
raf
fi
cki
ng?
Me:l
elonaIcan'
tj
ustdot
hat
.We'
l
lendup
l
osi
ngal otofmoney
.

Shesi
ghedandlookeddownatherri
ng.She
fi
xedi
tinherf
inger
,Ismil
edbecauseshe
wasn'
ttaki
ngi
toff.

Lona:Ihat
ehowmuchIl ovey ou.I
tmakesme
gocrazyaccepti
ngthi
ngsthatIshoul
dn'
tand
tur
nintoapersonI'
m not
.Especial
lywhenwe'
re
fi
ghti
ng.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
IwalkedclosertoherthenIlaidontopofher
kissi
ngher.Ineedtogetanot herphoneformy
gangact i
vi
ti
esbecauseIcan' tl
oseal otof
money ,andIcan'tr
iskherseeingmyt extsal
l
theti
me.I '
m doingthissowecanmai ntaint
he
l
ifest
ylewealreadyhav e.
[
02/
18,
07:
37]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT17
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
afewdayspast,2weektobemor eexact
,
Brandonwasokaybutst
il
linthehospi
tal
.And
todayIwasst
art
ingmyinternshi
patahugePR
company .Idi dn'tlikethatIwaspr egnant
becauset heywoul dlookdownatmebutIwas
sureIwoul dwor khar dtopr ovemy self
.I
wantedt olookpr ofessionalwithoutgivingit
awayt hatIwaspr egnant.MeandXav ier
agreedthatnoonewi l
lknowunt i
lIstart
showing,onlyhi sf ri
endsknow.Iwaswear i
ng
myr edsuitwi thmywhi tethenstrappedt op,
wit
hgol dst i
l
et tos.Ididn'twantt oshowcasemy
smallbump.Il ookedatt hemi r
rorsmi l
ingabi t
.

Me:mommyj ustneedsonedaywi
thout
si
cknessbaby
,justone.

Ibrushedmyst omach.Mor ni
ngsicknesshas
beenabi t
chandIneededabr eak.I
tstar
tedlast
weekandIwi shitwouldendal r
eady,Icould
controlmycrav i
ngsabi ti
t'
sthemor ni
ng
si
cknesst hatIcan'
t.Iwentdownst ai
rsbecause
Iwasst i
ll
stay i
ngwithIssy.Rell
ikwasonat ri
p
t
oDurbantof
ixK9'
smess.Myphoner
angand
i
twasRell
i
k.

Me:
baby
.
Rel
l
ik:
you'
regood?
Me:
nosi
cknesst
oday
.
Rel
l
ik:
tol
dyoumyboycoul
dgi
vey
ouabr
eak
Me:
it'
sagi
rlsodon'
tfuss.
Rel
l
ik:
what
'swr
ongwi
thaboy
?*l
aughs*
Me:haveyouseenwomenpr egnantwi
thboy
s?
Theybecomeugly
.*chuckl
es*
Rel
l
ik:
thatcoul
dnev
erhappent
oyou.
Me:
mhm *
blushes*whenar
eyoucomi
ngback?
Rell
i
k:today.Ij
ustcal
l
edt
osaygoodl
uckon
yourfi
rstday.
Me:
thanky
oumyl
ove.
Rel
l
ik:
andweary
ourr
ing.Idon'
twantt
ohur
t
t
hesel
i
ttl
epr
eppyboy
s.

Icoul
dn'thelpbutlaugh.Iwasst il
l
uncomfortablewithhim kil
li
ngpeoplef
orme,
butaft
eral ongtalkwi t
hNella.Shemademe
seeanewsi detoit,
ev enthoughmurderisst
il
l
verymuchi nexcusable,andifhedoesitagai
n
hecanforgetmemar ryi
nghim.

Me:
Ial
way
swearmyr
ing.
Rel
l
ik:
andIhav
enew3boy
sfory
ou.
Me:
Rel
l
ik..
..*
whi
nes*
Rel
l
ik:
Ilov
eyou.Ij
ustwanty
out
obesaf
e.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.*
sighs*

Webothhungup.Ididn'
twantt
obet heonly
per
sonwit
h5body guar
dsatwork.Ial
ready
hav
e2,si
ncefi
ndingoutIwaspregnant.He
wasmor epr ot
ect i
v ethanev er!Ihav eguy s
foll
owingmeev erywher e.Ihav eat rackeri nmy
bodyt hatwasi nst al
ledandhecal lsall t
het i
me.
Igotinmycar ,andj ustlikeusual 2car s
foll
owedaf terme.Isi ghedt hinkingabouthow
crazythisis.It
'slikeI'mt hef i
rstladyoft hi
s
countryandI 'mj ustamer enor mal gir
l.Arri
ving
atwor k,Ihadt obegt hebody guar dsnott oget
i
nandI '
llal
ertthem whensomet hingi swr ong.
Final
lytheyagr eedandIwenti nside.
~~
Iwasassi gnedtobement oredbythi
sguy .He
wascut e,butnotcuteli
kemybaby .Rell
ikwas
j
usthisownki nd.Hewast hehoodsexyt hat
madegi rl
sloosetheirminds.Anddon'tgetme
star
tedonhi sbody,I'
m waiti
ngforhi
mt ocome
backsohecandi ckmedown.Ihear dsomeone
cl
earingtheirt
hroat.Il
ookedatMason
embar r
assedIwasnotl ist
eningandthinking
aboutmyman.
Me:
sor
ry
Mason:i
t'
sokay.Hemustbeagoodguyf
ory
ou
t
othinkabouthi
m dai
l
y.
Me:
hei
s*smi
l
es*
Mason:
goodt
hingheputar
ingoni
t.
..
Me:
*chuckl
es*i
tis.
Mason:becauseI
'
m sureIwoul
d'
vegav
ehi
m
somerealcompeti
ti
on.

Ipausedandlookedatmesurpr
isedhewas
fl
ir
ti
ngwithme.Ilookedatmyri
ng,andsmiled
shakingmyhead.Thisguycl
ear
lydoesn'
tknow
Rell
ik.

Me:
Idoubti
t.
Mason:
*chuckl
es*r
eal
l
y?
Iwassitt
ingint
hesmal lt
able,andhewas
standi
ng.Hestoodbehindmeandbr eat
hedon
thebackofmyear .AndIjustf
rozescar ed
becausewewer etheonlyonesher e.Iquickl
y
pushedhim bef
orehecoul dwhisperany t
hing
dirt
y.

Me:getof
fme.Iwi
l
llayachar
geofsexual
hahar
assment
.
Mason:aninternonthemostpaidempl oyee?
Myfatherownst hi
splace.Whatf
antasyli
fedo
youl
ive,beauti
ful
?Getsomedone, I
'
llcheckon
youi
naf ew.

Hebentdown, toki
ssmeandImovedmyhead.
Iheroughlyt
ouchedmyface,
andki
ssedmy
neck.Icr
iedremovi
nghi
m.
?
?:Mason.Out
!

Hechuckl
edlooki
ngatthegi
rl
,thenhel
eft
.I
wassti
ll
intear
s.Shecameandbentnextt
ome.

??:
I'
m Melissa.I
'
m sosor
ry,
mybr othercanget
ali
tt
levi
olentsometi
mes.Hejusthatespeopl
e
sayi
ngno.Pleasedon'
tcr
y,I
'm sosorry.

Shegav
emeati
ssueandIwi
pedmyt
ear
s.Why
di
dhehavet
oworkwi
thme!?

Mel:ourf atherownsthecompanyandIguess
hethinkshecandowhatev erhewants.Hejust
doesn'tlearn!Hehasbeendoi ngt
hissince
for
everandIal wayst
ellpapaheneedshel p,
he'
ssi ck!Thecompanywi l
lendupindrainsif
heletshi m carr
yonli
ket hi
s.
Il
ookedather,shewasjustai
ri
ngherfami
ly
per
sonalbusi
nessouttherewi
thnostop.

Mel:butwhatdidIexpect?Theybotharesex
ist
.
Tothem womenar ejustincubat
ors!Ugh,
have
youeverwishedyouwer eborninanother
fami
ly?

Ij
ustl
ookedather
.Shedi
dn'
tev
enst
opt
alki
ng.

Mel
:Iwi
shso.Butcany
oudomeaf
avour
?

Inodded,wi
pingmytear
s.Shesmil
edatmy
ri
ng,Iknewi
thadthatmuchaff
ectonwomen.

Mel
:don'
tl
ayatchar
ge.
Ilookedatthehershocked,shej
ustsai
dshe
hatesherfamil
y.Orwast hatj
ustanactf
orme
tofeelbad?

Mel:
Iknow!Heshouldbepuni
shedbuthe'
sjust
gr
owing.Heneedssometimeout.HowaboutI
j
ustchangeyoutosomeoneel
se?
Me:
please.
Mel:t
hankyou!Iknowy
ou'
l
lhav
eaper
manent
spoti
nthi
scompany.

Shesmi l
edwal kingout.Ijustf
inishedmywor
k
thr
ought hetears.Idon'twanttroubleany
way
.I
j
ustwantaj obwher eI'm notdependedon
anyone.Iwantt ohavemyownmoney .
~~
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Ibrushedherhai rasshesl ept.Afterwor kshe
i
mmedi atelyfel
lasleep.Iknewsomet hi
ngwas
wrongbecauseIknowherl ikethebackofmy
hand, butsheassur edmei t'
snot hi
ng.The
body guar dssaidsheseemedf i
net othem.asI
wasbr ushingherhai r
,Inoticedredmar kson
herface, herchi
n.Li keamar kthatcoul dvani
sh
afteroneday .Igentlyremov edher,and
exami nedi tangril
y.Iftherewassomeonewho
touchedher ,IswearI '
llki
ll
t hem withmyown
barehands.Igent lyshookher ,butIthinkit
cameof fhardbecauseshewokeupl ooki ngat
mewi thscar edeyes.Thenshecal meddown
whenshesawi twasme.
Lona:
what
'swr
ong,
baby
?
Me:
what
'
sony
ourchi
n?
Lona:
what
?*conf
used*
Me:
lel
onaIdi
dn'
tst
utt
er.
Lona:
not
hing.
Me:whyi
sther
eredmar
ksony
ourchi
n.Who
t
ouchedy
ou?
Lona:
*si
ghs*Xav
ierpl
easel
eti
tgo.

Il
ookedatherinanger.Itt
ookever
ythi
nginme
nott
ocurseather,orslapherawakebecause
cl
earl
yshe'
sstil
lasl
eep.Istoodupaboutpaced
upanddownt ocalm down.

Me:
leti
tgo?Leti
tgo!
?
Lona:
you'
reov
err
eact
ing.I
twasn'
tthatser
ious
.Andhi
ssi
sterapol
ogi
sedi
t'
sal
lgood.
Il
ookedather ,soit
'sahethatt
ouchedher .She
l
ookeddown, playi
ngwithherhands.Isatback
downandl ookedathertry
ingtocalm down
becauseIwasr eadytoki
llt
hatmotherfucker
eventhoughIdon'tknowhisname.

Me:
whoi
sit
?
Lona:
Xav
ier
..
.
Me:don'
tyoudar
efucki
ngpr
otecthi
m!Whoi
s
i
t!
?
Lona:
*sni
ff
s*i
t'
saguynamedMasonatwor
k.

Afterthemeeti
ngwiththeDur
banguyTerror
,
wef inal
lycametoattr
uceandIcomebackto
myf iancébei
ngbrui
sed.Iam cl
ear
lybei
ng
tested.
Me:
you'
rer
esi
gni
ng.
Lona:
what
!?No!
Me:toneyourv
oicedown.Isai
dit
,andi
t'
sthe
f
inal
wor d.
Lona:Xaviert
hisisexactl
ywhyIdidn'
twantt
o
tel
lyou!You'l
loverr
eactandi
t'
squite
unnecessarybecauseIneedthi
sjob.
Me:needitforwhat?Howmuchdot heypay
you?I
'l
ldoubleitever
ymonth.Ther
eyouhave
i
t,youdon'tneedthejob.

Shelookedatme, shewasannoy edthatshe

coveredherselfwiththecovers.Iknewshewas
cry
ing,it
'sunfairhowsheusest ear
st oget
whatshewant sbecausesheknowsIwon' tsay
notohert ear
s.ButIknewIal sohadan
advantagetoher .Igotunderthecov ersand
sheturnedawayf r
om me.Ismi led,Imov ed
cl
oserspooningher .Ikissedherneck.
Lona:youdon'
tunderst
and.*snif
fs*Iwantto
havesomet y
peofindependenceIcan'tal
l
ow
peopl
et ot
akecareofmef orever
.
Me:
makemeunder
stand.

Iconti
nuedkissingherneck,bit
ingitl
ightly
,
creati
nghickey
s.Iwor medmyhandi nsideher
l
acepant i
esandst ar
teddoingmymagi c.She
moanedandst ar t
edturni
ngaroundkissingme
whileplay
ingwithmydi ck.Butitwashar dfor
hertoconcentratewhenmymi ddlefi
ngerwent
i
nherpussy .

Lona:
baby
yyy*
moans*
Me:
makemeunder
stand.

Igotont
op,
herl
egwentupt
omyshoul
derand
Ienteredint
ohersl owly.Shest ar
tedmoani ng
mat chi
ngmyr hythm.Herbi t
ingherlipand
l
ooki ngatme, justmademewantt ofuckher
mor e.Ipl
acedhersecondl egup, andstar
ted
goinginfastandr ough.Shesqueal edtryi
ngto
makemegosl ow.Ismi rkedbecauseIcoul d
seeshewasr eallyenjoyingthisjustl
ikeme.

Me:
you'
requi
ti
ng.
..
!You'
re.
..goi
ngt
oleav
ethat
j
obLel
ona.

Iwentfasterandbentl
owertest
ingher
fl
exibi
li
tyandbitherni
ppl
egoingslowershe
screamednodding.

Me:
Iwantt
oheary
ourv
oice,
baby
.
Lona:
ye-AHHH
Beforeshecoul dfi
nishheryes,Iwentharder
maki ngherscream.Ismiledbit
ingmyl i
p.Her
l
egsshooki ndi
cati
ngshewasgoi ngtocum,I
tookmydi ckoutandsheglaredatme.I
couldn'thelpbutchuckl
e.

Me:
you'
rel
eav
ingt
hatwor
ktomor
rowLel
ona.
Lona:okay,
Xav
ier
.Fi
nishwhaty
oust
art
ed.
*whines*
Me:
*chuckl
es*saypl
easedaddy
.
Lona:
iny
ourdr
eams-
AHH

Irammedi ntoherwithoutnot iceshescreamed,

Ichuckledt henwentf ast,IgroanedbecauseI
fel
ttheur get ocum.Shecame, andIfol
lowed
ri
ghtaf t
erhergr oani
ngl oudlyasIcamei nside
ofher.Thebestwar m placef orme, i
sdefi
nitel
y
herpussy .Myphoner ang, andIkissedher
forehead.Taki ngi
t,i
twasK9.Si ncehewas
cal
li
ngfrom mynormalphoneIknewitmight
beimportant
.Lonacuddl
ednexttomeasI
answeredthecal
ldrawi
ngnonvi
sibl
eshapeson
herback.

Me:
thi
sbet
terbet
teri
mpor
tant
.
K9:Iwasthi
nkingweopenasur
ger
yandwash
themoneythatway.

Il
ookedatLonahopi
ngshedi
dn'
thearwhathe
j
ustsai
d.Lucki
l
yformeshedi
dn'
t.

Me:
whowi
l
llookaf
teri
t?
K9:
me.I
'
mtheonl
ydoct
orni
gga.

Ismir
kedatLonaget t
ingont
opofme, Ismil
ed
shaki
ngmyhead, asshegavemeahandj ob.
Mydickdi
dn'tev
ent ake30secondsbefor
eit
becomehardagain,mybr eat
hjuststopped.I
tr
iedstoppi
ngherbecauseIwasont hephone,
shesatasitwentinsi
deofher,mymout hfl
ew
opennosoundorbr eat
hinghappening.She
smirkedatmyexpressi
on.

Me:
hmm.Mhm
K9:
you'
reokay
?
Me:
uh.
.ahhy
eah.Lookwe'
l
ltal
k-

Imov edherwi thmeusingmyf r

eehand.Isat
st
raightont hebedwi t
hmyl egsont hefl
oor.
Shewasst r
addlingme,shest ar
tedmov i
ngher
hi
ps, Imumbl eda" f
uck"hol
dingherstil
lbyher
waist,becauseshewasmaki ngmecr azy.She
gi
ggledl i
ghtlyatme,Iwasshaki ngmyhead.

K9:
we'
regoi
ngt
odoi
torno!
?
Me:
yesman,
fuck!

Idroppedthecallandt hrewmyphoneont he
bed,Lonakeptr i
dingmemaki ngmel ookather
i
namazement .Shewasr eall
ygoodatt hisshit
andIwasl uckytobet heonl yoneexperiencing
thi
s.Shestartedbounci ngthenmov i
ngi n
cir
clesandupanddown.Imat chedherrhythm
feel
ingmycum bui l
dup.

Me:
yesbaby
.

Imoaned,IknewIwouldbur stsoonsoIhel d
herwai
ststil
lasItr
iednotcumi ngfi
rst.OnceI
l
etgoofherwai st
,shestar
tedgoingf astt
his
ti
me.

Me:
lel
ona!*
groans*
Iheldherwai standjustexpl
odedinsideherand
shebitherlipcummi ng5secondsaf ter.I
l
ookedatherhav ingthi
sinnocentsmilethen
hi
dingherf aceinmyneckpecki ngit.Ichuckl
ed
atthefreakshehast urnedint
o.ButI'm sti
l
l
ki
ll
ingthisMasondude, andshe'snotgonna
workthere.
[
02/
18,
07:
37]Wdz:
ICHANGEDAMONSTER~
SEASON2
I
NSERT18
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Afteroursteamysessi
onsweweret
aki
nga
restandIthoughtt
hiswoul
dbetheper
fect
t
imet
otal
khi
m outofki
l
li
ngMason.

Me:
baby
.
Rel
l
ik:
yeah?
Me:
youcan'
tki
l
lMason.
Rel
l
ik:
het
ouchedy
oul
elona.
Me:IknowbutMel
issaal
readypr
omisedme
she'
l
lchangemetoworkwithsomeoneel
se
Rel
l
ik:
who'
sthat
?
Me:
hissi
ster
.
Rel
l
ik:
she'
sjustt
ryi
ngt
osav
eherbr
other
'sass.
Me:
youst
il
lcan'
tki
l
lhi
m.

Hedi
dn'tr
espondandIpi ckedmyheadupfr
om
hi
schestandlookedatme.Hewasst ari
ngi
nto
myeyesIcoul
dseet hathehadanger.
Me:babyyoucan'
tgoaroundki
l
li
ngpeopl
e.
Onedayyouwill
getcaught
.

Tearsfel
ldown.Iknewoncethewaterwor
ks
fal
lhewillf
all
int
oit.Idon'
twantr
ell
i
kintr
oubl
e
becauseofme.

Rel
l
ik:
Iwon'
tki
l
lhi
m ononecondi
ti
on
Me:
any
thi
ng.
Rel
l
ik:
youqui
t
Me:
that
.I'
m notdoi
ng!
Rel
li
k:y
ou'
rebei
ngsel
fi
shri
ghtnow.Al
lthi
s
st
ressi
snotgoodf
orthebaby
.
Me:you'
ret
heonestr
essi
ngme!Doy
ouhav
eto
cont
rolmeall
thet
ime!
Rel
l
ik:
I'
mtr
yingt
opr
otecty
ou!
Me:Ihaveatrackeri
nmybody.Ihav
e5
bodyguar
ds.Ihave2car
sfol
lowingmeal
lthe
ti
me.Idon'
tevenhav
eamomentt
omy
sel
f.
You'
redoi
ngtoomuch.
Rel
li
k:l
elonayoudon'
tunderstand.Iam the
l
eadernow.Youneedall oft
hisprotect
ionI
dar
esli
puponcet hat
'syourli
feandourbaby '
s
l
if
eont heli
ne.
Me: baby,y
ou'realr
eadydoingalotyoudon't
needt oworry
.ButIlikebeingi
ndependent,Il
i
ke
havingmyownmoney .Ineedj
ustthat.Idi
dn'
t
studyallt
hosey ear
st obeahousewife.
Rel
li
k:there'
snot
hingwr
ongwi
tht
hat
.Fi
fii
sa
housewife

Igl
aredathi
m, he'
scrazyifhethi
nksI'
l
lbeat
housewi
fe.Igotupfrom thebed.Andstar
ted
goi
ngtothebathroom forashower.

Rel
l
ik:y
ou'
renotev
enl
i
steni
ngt
other
easons
why.
Me:Iwon'
tbeahousewi
feRel
l
ik.We'
redone
t
alki
ngabouti
t.
Rel
l
ik:
thenby
eby
eMason.
Me:
seewhoy
ou'
l
lmar
ry.
Rel
l
ik:
overt
hatpunk?
Me:no!Overy oubeingacontrolf
reak..
.baby
can'
tyouatleastwai tunt
ilmyint
ernshi
pisover
orIl
ookforanot herone?Don'tki
l
lhim,
ever
yonewil
l suspectme.
Rell
i
k: f
ine.Iwon'tki
l
lhi
m,I
'
m get
ti
ngy
ouanew
i
nternshipthough.
.
~~
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
me, Wi z, Scrappy ,andK9wai tedf orMason
outsidet hebasementpar king.Hewast heonl y
onewor kinglat etodayandIneededt ot each
him al esson.Nobodyt ouchesmywi feandIl et
i
tslide.Ishoul dt orturehissist ertoof or
mani pul atingLonai ntonotpr essi ngchar ges.I
searchedaboutt hem andi t'
sal way sacy clelike
thi
sandMel issaal way smakei tseem l i
keshe' s
apologi singf orhi m butshe'sbadj ustli
ket hem.
Ther esear chIdi dmademewantt okillthem
andf ollowmynamebutIpr omi sedLonaI
woul dn'tki llt
hem.Idi dn'tpromi seIwon' tlaya
handont hem.Fi nall
yhecamedownt hel i
ft.he
wast heonl yone, andIsmi rkedl ookingathi m.
Scrappypassedmet heblunt, Itook2pul lsand
i
nhal edt henbl ewoutt hesmoke.Icoul dsee
thewor ryonhi sfacewhenheappr oachedus

Me:
Masonr
ight
?
Mason:
whoar
eyou?
Ididn'tev
enwai tforhimtosayanythingelseI
punchedhi m andbeathim upsenselessl
yand
myr ingswereinmyadv ant
age.Theboy s
chuckledwhenIbr okeMason'
snosewhenI
stompedonhi sface.

Wiz:hel
l
air
ongol
ebr
uh*
laughs*(
thi
sguyi
s
ev
il)

Weal
lst
art
edl
aughi
ng,
wewer
ecr
azyhi
gh.

Me:i
fyouev
erthi
nkofbei
ng2cent
imet
res
cl
osetomywif
e,Iwi
ll
kil
lyou.

Iconti
nuedbeati
nghim upandkickinghi
m
i
gnoringhiscr
iesunt
ilhebecameunconscious.
Scrappyremovedmef rom hi
m becausehe
knewnextthingIwoulddowoul dki
llhi
m.Istil
l
can'
tquit
econtrolmyanger.Ilookedathim
smir
kingattheartIj
ustcr
eated.Nowhe' l
lknow
mywifeisoffli
mits.

Me:Scrappy
,checkthecamer
asmakesur
e
not
hingshowsourfaces.
Scr
appy
:*chuckl
es*goti
t.
K9:hehasabout30mi
nut
est
oli
ve.Youmi
ght
wanttohur
ry

Scrappycameback20mi nutesl ater.Andhe

saiditwasal ldoneandt heywer eof fforan
hourmor e.Itookoft hesmal lusel essphone
whichi scov eredwi t
hacl othbecauseIcoul dn'
t
ri
skmyf ingerprint
soni t.Icall
edt heambul ance
coveringt hespeakerwi ththecl othsomyv oice
soundsdi ff
erentandt heywon' ttraceit.Aft
er
thatcallIhungup, droppedt hephoneand
smashedt hephonewi thmyl egthangotinmy
car.Weallspeedof fsepar
ately.Idi
dn'
twantto
gohomej usty etbecauseIknowLonawi llsee
thebloodbutIwenthomeany waybecauseI
knowshe'llsuspectsomethingifIdon'
tgo
home.IknewshewashomebecauseIsawher
caroutsi
de.

Me:
shi
t.

Lonahast hekeyt omyhouse, andIdon' tmi nd

hervisit
ingmeal ltheti
me, buttodayIknewshe
wasgoi ngt obeangr yasf uckaboutt heMason
sit
uationandIwantt ogetheranewi nternship.
I'
lll
ookf oritmysel fi
fIhavet o.Theguar ds3
guardswer eoutsidewiththereguar dswhi l
e2
wereint hehouse.Inoddedmyheadatt hem.
SinceIfoundoutLonahasbeenpr egnantIf el
t
theneedt opr otecthermor e.Ijustcan'trisk
l
osingheratal l
,norourbaby .Younev erknow
whensomeonewi l
latt
ackandIjustwantto
keepthem safer.Evenifi
tmeanst r
acker
i
nstall
edi
nt heirbodiesandlot
sofguar dsIwil
l
doit.Iwanttot eachherhowtoshott hough
now.Iwanthert ocar r
yagunatallti
mesi n
casetheguardsf ail
toprot
ecther.

Lona:
ohmyGod,
Xav
ier
!

Shegotupf rom thechairshewassi tti

ngin,she
wasdoi nghermakeup.She' skindofobsessed
withitnow.It hi
nkshel ooksbeaut i
fulei
ther
way .Shelookedatt heclothesi waswear i
ng,I
knewshewasgoi ngtocr ybecauseshehad
glossyeyes.Iwasaboutt ohugherbutshe
backedof f.Shelookedatmyhandst hatwere
bloodyli
keIwaski l
li
ngagoat .Andt heywer ein
painbecauseoft her i
ngsIwor e.Shewal ked
out.
Me:
lel
ona.
Lona:
don'
tev
ent
alkt
omer
ightnow.
Me:
baby
..
-
Lona:
I'
m ser
ious!Sayanot
herwordandyou'
re
goi
ngtogetyourri
ngbackforgoodthi
sti
me.

Isighedandsatdown.It ookther i
ngsoff
feeli
ngdefeatedt hatshe'
supsetIwas
protecti
ngher.Womenar esoconfusi
ngman.
WasIsupposedt ol ethi
m go?Het ouchedher
andIwoul dnev erletsomeonet ouchherand
getawaywi thit.Sheshoul dbehappyIdidn'
tkil
l
him.I fshel
eav esme, thenIam goingtokil
l
him becausehemessedupmymostv al
uable
rel
ationshi
p.Ilookedupwhent hedooropened
andshewal kedi nwi t
hthemedi calai
dkit
.I
smi l
edbecauseshedi dn'
tleav
e.

Lona:
don'
tev
engi
vemet
hat
.Iam so
di
sappoint
edrightnowRel
l
iky
oudon'
t
under
stand.*
sniff
s*

Ilookeddownf eel
i
ngmyhear tbeatsl
owin
pain.There'
snothi
ngmorepainfult
henseei
ng
yourlovedoneinpainorcr
yingbecauseofyou

Me:Idi
dn'tki
llhi
m.Justmessedhi
m upabi
t.
Can'
tIgetpropsfort
hat?
Lona:
wow.
Me:what
?Tel
lmewhatcanIdol
elona!Ican'
t
si
tdownandwat
chsomeonevi
olat
ey ou!

Sheclosedhermout handcontinuedtaki
ng
careofmyhands.Iwant edhertosay
somethingweneededt otalkaboutthi
s.One
thi
ngforsureshe'snotgoinganywherenear
ther
etomor row.Shemightaswel lt
ell
them she
quit
s.Aftershewasdoneshegotupanddi dn't
evensayany thi
ng.Itookoffmyt-
shir
twitht
he
sweatpantsandsatont hebed.Fi
nal
lyshe
cameup, shepackedhermakeupawayandi
watchedherhopi ngshe'
ll
saysomethingbut
nope.Nothing.

Me:
lel
ona.
Lona:
ifyoudon'
twantt
olosemeandt
hisbaby
.
Youbett
ershutup.

Isi
ghedbecauseIwasget
ti
ngf
rust
rat
edwi
th
thi
s.

Me:l
elonawhatdi
dIpr
omi
sey
ouwhenwe
st
art
eddati
ng?
Lona:
Xav
ier
..
.
Me:
sayi
t.Iwanty
out
osayi
t.
Lona:
Idon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
his.
Me:di
dn'tIpr
omi
setoprot
ectyouthr
ough
ev
eryt
hing?Whyshoul
dIchangenow?
Lona:
I'mtheonewho'
sgoi
ngt
ogetdi
rt
yey
es
atwork!Noty
ou,me!
Me:
you'
renotgoi
ngt
obewor
kingt
her
e.
Lona:
rel
li
kIal
readyt
oldy
ouI
'
m notgoi
ngt
obe
ahousewi
fe.
Me:l
ookforanewi
nter
nshi
p.Iwi
l
lhel
pyou
l
ooki
fIhaveto.
~~
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Timefl
ewpastl i
kecrazyandal r
eadyIwas9
monthspregnant.Xavi
erhasn' tbeenhomealot
ofti
mesbecauset hetri
pst oRussi awer
ecr
azy.
Ithi
nkther
ewasapr obl
em t houghhewould
nevert
ellmeIjustknewt herewas.Thoughhim
andMul lerwer ealwaysgone, Iwasaf r
aidthat
somet hingwoul dhappent othem.t helobola
anddamageshav ebeenpai d( t
hatwasa
massi vestrugglesincemydadwascont rol
led
byIsipho)andaf terthebabyt urns1we'regoing
togetmar ri
ed.Ihav eanewjobnow, andIam
thePRt ot hisfamousbi mbomodel .Iswear
thatgirldoesthecr azi
estthi
ngsandIal way s
havet ocleanupaf terher.Myphoner angandi
quicklyanswer edit.

Me:
Xav
ier*
sni
ff
s*
Rel
l
ik:
babywhat
'
swr
ong?I
sthebabyokay
?
Me:Imissyou.Youhavebeengonefora
monthnow.You'l
lmissthebaby
'sbi
rt
h.
Rel
l
ik:
babyIwoul
dnev
ermi
sst
hat*
chuckl
es*
Me:st
oplaughi
ng.I
'm al
onei
nmyl
ast
pr
egnancytr
imest
er.
Thedoctorsai
dI'
m dueonFebruar
y24and
todaywasthe10t
hofFebruar
y.

Rel
li
k:whatdoyoumeany
ou'
real
one?Wher
e
ar
etheguards?
Me:
Iwanty
ou.
Rell
i
k:babydon'
tcr
y.*si
ghs*Ipr
omiseI'
l
lbe
ther
e.Okay..
.howaboutIcomebacktomor
row?
Me:
please
Rel
li
k:*chuckl
es*y
oupromiseyou'l
lstop
st
ressi
ngmysonwi thal
lthatcr
yingfornot
hing.
Me:
wel
lyoursonwant
syou.
Rel
l
ik:
tel
lhi
mtohol
donI
'
llbet
her
e.
~~
Iwaswearinganikesportsbrawit
hNike
l
eggingsandjustsocks.Myhairwasinabun,
ri
ghtnowIwasi nRell
ik'
shousesincehehada
l
otofsecurit
yIfel
tsaferther
e.
Que:
bozzawi
l
lbeher
einaf
ewmi
nut
es.
Me:
okay
,thanky
ouque.

Hecal l
edmey esterdaysoI'
m guessi nghe
real
lycamebackf orme.It i
lt
edmyheadwhen
Quest ar
edatmyhugeboobs.Henot icedIwas
glar
ingathim andhequi ckl
yleft.Quei s
harmlessandIwon' tjeopar
dizehisjobf orhim
soI'l
ll
etthi
sslide.Istart
edeatingthepi zza
from l
astni
ght.Thesweetsaucej ustdid
somet hi
ngtome.

Rel
l
ik:
damnoursoni
sgr
owi
ng
Me:
baby
!

Ir
antohim,morel
i
kewobbl
etohim.Hemet
mehalfwayl
aughi
ngatmestr
uggl
ingt
orun.
Hebentdownandki
ssedmyst
omach.

Rel
l
ik:
ntwanay
am.Wer
eyougoodt
omommy
?

Thebabystar
tedmoving,Rel
li
k'
seyesli
tup
wit
hexcit
ement.Il
ovethatoursonhadthat
aff
ectonhim.

Me:
her
ecogni
zesy
ourv
oice.
Rel
l
ik:
Imi
ssedy
oubaby
.Bot
hofmybabi
es

Hekissedme, Ihadtostopitbef
oreIwanted
more.Ican'
thav esexr
ightnowI'mtoobig.He
chuckl
edbrushingmyassandki ssi
ngmy
boobs.

Rel
li
k:Ineedt
ogetyoupregnantal
lthet
ime.
Yourasswasbig,
butnowdamnnnnandman
t
hoseboobs.*
li
cksl
i
ps*i
m onel
uckydude.
Me:Iknow.*gri
ns*nowi
wantt
oknowt
he
whol
eRussiathi
ng.
Rel
l
k:Lel
ona.
Me:
baby
.
Rell
ik:*chuckles*someguyhasbeefwi ththem
iguesssot heywant edt ostopall
business
tr
ansact i
onstheyhav e.Ihadtobet hereto
protectthedeal wehav ewiththeRussiansand
l
et'sjustsay,nowt heythinkIam thei
renemy .
Me:
*si
ghs*coul
d'
vej
ustl
efti
t.
Rell
i
k:andloset
hatmuchmoney
?I'
m wor
ri
ed
they
'l
lat
tackmehere
Me:
you'
l
ldi
esomedaybecauseofmoney
-

Icouldn'
tevenfi
nishmysentencewit
hout
screaming.Thereweregunshotsout
side.Rel
l
ik
quickl
ytookmet othebasement.Hewas
aboutt
oleav
ewhenIsawt
hewat
eront
hef
loor
.

Me:
Rel
l
ik!

Hetur
nedbackandl
ookedver
yscar
edt
oo.The
f
ir
stti
meI'
veseenhi
m scar
ed.

Rell
ik:ther
e'satunnelI
'l
lwal
ky outhroughbutI
wanty outowalkthereunti
ltheendthere'
llbe
myf ri
endCar l
osattheend.It'
shishouse,he'
ll
takeyout othehospit
al.
Me:
I'
m notdoi
ngany
thi
ngwi
thouty
ou.*
sni
ff
s*

Ihel
dhishandtighterandhewal kedwithme
thr
oughthetunnelbutitwashardt obreathe
andwalk.Thepainswer en'
tther
ey etbutIwas
j
ustscared.
Rel
l
ik:
Lel
onawehav
etohur
ryy
out
her
e.
Me:
I'
m nothav
ingt
hisbabywi
thouty
ou

Icr
iedsopai
nful
l
y.Hef
eltbad,
andhuggedme.

Rell
ik:okay,
okay.I
'
llbether
ebutbabythe
guards,themoneyinthehousei
ftheygeti
nI'
m
fucked.
Me:
who'
smor
eimpor
tant
?Moneyorourbaby
.
Rel
l
ik:
fuck!Let
'sgo.

Iwi
pedmyt
earsfoll
owinghim wewalkedf
ora
l
ongti
mewel
li
tfeltl
ikealongtime.

Me:
thi
sisf
ar.
Rel
l
ik:
it'
sonl
y5houses.
Me:
they
'r
emansi
ons.
Rel
l
ik:
we'
reher
e!

Westeppedoutthet
unnel
.AndIcoul
dfeell
i
ttl
e
bi
tofcontr
act
ionsbutt
heyweremanageabl
e.
~~
Me:
IHATEYOU!

Iscr
eamedatRel li
kfeel
i
ngthepainofthe
cont
ract
ions.Iheldhi
shandti
ghterandIcoul
d
seehewasi npain.

Me:
takehi
m out
.Taket
hisbabyoutnow!

Icr
iedinpai
n,t
ryi
ngt odobreathi
ngexer
cises.I
am nothavi
nganotherbabyeveragai
n.Nono
no.
Me:t
hisi
sthel
astoneIswearRel
l
ik.Ohmy
God.
Rel
l
ik:
I'
m sosor
rybaby
.

Hekissedmyf
oreheadasIcr
ied,
Iwasi
nlegi
t
pai
n.

Rell
ik:
thedoctorsai
dyoucan'
thav
est
ronger
drugsyou'
reabouttogi
vebir
th.
Me:
mul
l
erwi
l
lmi
ssi
t?

HestayedsilentandIlookeddown.Iwantmy
brot
herhere.Andj ustl
iketheangel
heis,he
camethrought hedoorandIi mmediat
elyl
etgo
ofRell
i
k'shandsandopenmyhandsf ormy
brot
her.Hechuckl esandhugsme.

Me:
Idon'
twantachi
l
d.Thi
sispai
nful
.No
mor
esexf
orme.
Mull
er:
*laughs*tr
ustmewheny
ouseet
hel
i
ttl
e
guy
.Itwil
lallbewort
hit
.

Il
ookedatRel
l
ikwhowasst
il
lfl
exi
nghi
shand.

Me: t
ellt
hedoctorIwantacont
racept
ive
i
njecti
onaft
erthis.

Theybothl
aughedbutIwasdeadseri
ous.I
hatebei
ngi
nlaborbuti
tsmyfir
stti
me.
~~
Ifel
tti
redandiopenedmyey es.Ismiled
l
ookingatRell
i
k'sbigbuffedbodyhol dingour
ti
nyson.Ismil
edlookingatt hem.Ist aredin
amazementthatIcreatedsuchabei ng.Once
hesawmeawakeRel li
kcamecl oset omeand
gavemet hebaby.Thenur seshowedmehow
toholdhim,Ist
aredathi
m witht
ear
sinmy
eyes.Eveni
npain,IwasproudImadesucha
baby.

Nur
se:
anamey
et?
Me:
Xay
den.

Rell
i
kl ookedatmewi t
ht hi
ssmilehewassor t
ofsurpri
sedIpickedsomethingwithxbecause
Ial
way swantedsomet hi
ngwi t
hLandt al
ked
aboutitbutwe'l
lhavethatwit
hourdaughter.
Hekissedmeandt henursesmiledatus.

Rel
li
k:can'
tunt
ilhet
urns1andy
oubecomemy
wif
eoffi
cial
l
y.
[
02/
18,
07:
38]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
I
NSERT19
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Istar
edi naweatmynewbor nhecouldhardl
y
openhi seyesbuthewasst il
lper
fecti
nmy
eyes.Xavierwasst i
llv
erymuchi naweaswel l
.I
thi
nkhewasr eal
l
yacceptingthefactt
hathe
wasadad.Il ovedthelookhehadonhi sface
watchingov ermeandXay den.

Rel
l
ik:
hehasy
ourey
es.
Me:
*smi
l
es*Idon'
tseei
t.
Rell
i
k:Il
ookint
othem ev
erydayandIf
all
inl
ove
eachti
me.Iknowhehasy ourey
es.
Ibl
ushedlooki
ngupathi m,hechuckl
edand
gavemeashor tki
ss.Rell
ikr
eal
lyknowshowt o
makemebl ushreal
ly
.ScrappyandNellacame
tovi
si
t.Iwasveryhappytoseeher,shewas
moreexci
tedaboutseeingmeson.Ilaughedat
her

Nel
l
a:mygodsonl
ookssoador
abl
e!
Me:
Iknow.He'
sgonnahav
ehi
sfat
her
'sl
ooks.

ScrappyandRelli
kexcusedthemselvesIwas
worri
edwhent heywalkedout.IhopeIreal
l
y
hopeit'
snothi
ngbad.
.
.
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
IlookedatScr
appybecauseIknewi
thadtobe
somet hi
ngbadforhi
mt owantmeoutsi
dethe
room.

Me:
what
'
sup?
Scraply:l
ucki
l
ytheywer
en'ti
ny ourhousebut
theydidshotup.I
t'
sal
mostruined.Inyournext
housey ou'
regoi
ngtoneedwindowst hatar
e
proofed.

IsighedI'
mr el
i
eft
hatmymoneyandev
ery
thi
ng
arestil
lsaf
e.

Me:
theguar
ds?
Scr
appy
:itl
ooksl
i
keabl
oodymassacr
ether
e.
Me:
youwentt
her
e?
Scr
appy
:bef
oreIcameher
e.
Me:
damn.

IsawFif
iandGhostappr
oachi
ng.Icoul
dn'
t
evensmil
ethi
nki
ngaboutthedeadguar
ds.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
×1YEARLATER×
.
Icoul
dn'tbelievethatafully
earpassedbyandI
am getti
ngmar ri
edtomorrow.Xay denwasnow
1andact iveasev er.Hedefinitel
yhashis
fat
her'spersonalit
ybecauset heycli
cksomuch.
Heev enwat chessoccerwi t
hhi m event
hough
he'
sconf usedhej ustgetshypedwhenhi s
fat
herget shy ped.Wemov edi ntoanewhouse
that'
sclosertoFi
fi
,IssyandMull
er.Iwas
feedingXaywhenhi sfat
hercamedownst ai
rs
andgav emeaki ss.Hissonopenedhisarms
sohecoul dtakehim.Istoppedr
ell
ikbef
orehe
could.

Me:
I'
m st
il
lfeedi
nghi
m*chuckl
es*
Rel
li
k:hel
ookslikehedoesn'
tev
enwantt
oeat
any
mor e*
laughs*
Me:that
'sbecausehe'
sattachedt
oyou.
*smil
es*Ihaveneverseenasonmoreinlove
wit
hhisfather
.They'
reusuall
ymama'
sboy snot
t
his.
Rel
l
ik:
don'
tworryyou'
l
lgetapr
incesst
hat
'
llbe
waymoreat
tachedtoyou.
Me:
nope.Af
ter2y
ear
s.
Rel
li
k:Iknowbutanot
herchi
l
dri
ghtnow
woul
dn'tbebad.
Me:
IwantonewhenXayi
s3t
hatwayhewon'
t
f
eell
i
kewe'renegl
ecti
nghi
m whenwe'r
ebusy
wi
ththenewborn.Andwor
krightnowi
stoo
much
Rell
i
k:t
oldy
out
oopenupy
ourowncosmet
ics
shop.
Me:andsellwhat
?Makeup?Thatwon'
tbea
goodincome.
Rell
ik:butyoulovei
t.Moneyshoul
dn'
tbea
problem becauseIhaveal
lthemoneyweneed.
Me:Idon'
tev
enwanttospendyourmoney.Do
youknowhowhappyIgetwhenIspendmy
own?AndIstudi
edf
orPRsoI '
l
lgoforPR.
Rel
l
ik:
finet
hensacr
if
icey
ourhappi
nessf
or
money.
Me:
don'
tsayt
hat
.
Rell
i
k:*l
aughs*anddon'thavet
oomuchf un
toni
ghtatyourbachel
oret
tepar
ty.Iwon'
t
hesi
tat
etohur tpeopl
e.
Me:
Ial
readyt
oldNel
l
anost
ri
pper
s.
Rel
l
ik:
good.
Me:
andt
hesamegoest
oyou.
Rel
l
ik:
whowoul
dyouhur
t?*
laughs*
Me:
tryme.
Rel
l
ik:
y ouknowIwoul
dnev
erdothatt
oyou.
Nostr
ipper
sisarul
ewebothagr
eedon.
Me:
good.
~~
Ismil
edatal
lmyfri
endsi
nli
nger
ie.Iwas
havi
ngaBachel
oret
tepar
tyt
hatwaslinger
ie
themed.

Me:I
'm ser
iousNel
l
ahewoul
dki
l
lal
lthose
st
ri
ppers.
Nel
l
a:Ial
readycancel
l
edt
hem.*
laughs*
Me:
good.
Wehadal otoffun,itwasme, Nella,Jaydeand
Nell
a'sot
herfri
endKi m.Itwasreallyfunand
wit
hnodr ama.Ididn'tinv
iteFi
fiandIssy
becausether
ewer eal otofsexualgames.

Me:
wai
t,i
siti
n?
Jay
:no!*
laughs*

Il
aughedl
ooki
ngf orthehole.Wewereplay
ing
agame.Iwasblindedandi hadtol
ookfora
hol
eonthecardboardtofi
tinthedi
ldo.I
scr
eamedaft
erIf i
nal
lyfi
titin.

Me:
*laughs*t
hatwashar
dert
hanIt
hought
.
Nel
l
a:t
imef
orgi
ft
s!*
squeal
s*

Igr
innedgoi
ngtoopenthepr
esent
s.Ist
ared
wit
hthebigbl
ackgi
ftbag.
Me:
ouu
Nel
l
a:t
hat
'sf
rom Mwah!

Ilaughedopeni
ngt
hegi
ft
.Itwasl
i
nger
ieal
otof
l
ingerie.

Nel
l
a:f
ort
hehoney
moonbabe'
s.You'
l
lneed
t
hem

Weal lstar
tedl
aughi
ng.Theyl
ookedreal
lycut
e.
Isaidthankyouandpassedonetothenext
pinkgli
tter
ybag.WhenIopenedi
tupitwassex
toys.

Me:guysr
eal
ly
?Canihav
esomethi
ngf
orme
andnotmeandXav
ier
?*l
aughs*
Ki
m:gi
rli
nmar
ri
ageandmot
her
hoody
oudon'
t
getgi
ft
sfory
our
sel
f.
Nell
a:ohJesus.Nowyout
ooar
eaboutt
obond
overmarr
iage*rol
l
sey
es*

MeandKi ml aughedatNel l
a'
sdr amat ic
reactionssheendedupl aughingandt hatledt o
allofusl aughi ng.Wesmoke3j ointsearli
erand
Iwasf eel
ingv er yhappy.Ismokeweed, Xavier
wouldki llmet houghhehasn' tnoticedany thing.
Ilearnedf rom t hemodel I'
m wor ki
ngf or.The
wayshest r essesmeoutIneededt hatweed,
butwhensheof f
eredmecocai ne.Ishout edat
herandshenev ertri
edteachingme, weed?
That'sf i
nebutcocai ne!That'
swayt ooext r
eme.

Me:well
Kimistheonl
yonemar
ri
edandI
'
m
f
oll
owingaf
terher
.

Webot
hgav
eeachot
herahi
ghf
ive.Jay
dJay
de
smi
l
edatus,
Nel
l
ajustchuckl
ed.

Jay:
maybethoseidi
otswi
l
lmar
ryust
oo
someday*
sighs*
Nel
l
a:y
up.

Iwanteddol
aughbecausemybrotherdoesn'
t
l
ookliket
hemarr
iagetypebutl
etmelether
dream.
~~
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV~~
.
.
Ical
l
edLonawhenIwasfi
nisheddressi
ngup.
Sherepl
i
edquickmaki
ngmesmi l
e.Todaywas
ourweddingday
.
Me:
wif
e.
Lona:
ithasn'
thappenedy
et*
laughs*
Me:
itwi
l
l.You'
rer
eadyt
otakemysur
name?
Lona:
beenr
eady
.Isn'
tthatwhyIhav
eyourr
ing?
Me:
get
ti
ngsmar
thuh?
Lona:
beensmar
tboy
.
Me:havethatsamemouthwhenI'
m bendi
ng
youoverandtear
ingt
hatassup.
Lona:
Iwi
l
l.Youknowi
'
dnev
erbackdown.
Me:okayhav
ethatsameener
gyi
nour
honey
moon.
Lona:
Iwi
l
l*l
aughs*
Me:damny oumakemewanttomewantt
osee
youri
ghtnowsoIcoul
dfucky
ouunt
ily
ouwant
metostop.
Lona:
that
'sr
ape.
Me:
it'
snoti
fyouwanti
t.
Lona:
*chuckl
es*I
'
mtel
l
ingy
ou,
youst
op.
Me:
andwhobegsmet
ogeti
nagai
n?*
laughs*
Lona:
Idon'
tbeg*
laughs*
Me:
real
l
ynow?Don'
tmakemer
ecor
dyou.
Lona:
I'
dki
l
lyou.
Me:
andr
iskbei
ngasi
ngl
emot
her
?*smi
rks*
Lona:I
'
ll
.Haveanot
herni
ggapl
aydaddyt
oyour
son*smir
ks*
Me:
okayl
et'
sst
op.

ShelaughedandIendedupchuckli
ng.Il
ove
thatwehaveancloserel
ati
onshipt
hatsome
peoplewouldsaywe'
rebestfr
iendswell
she
wasmybestf ri
endbefor
ewedat edbutI
alwayswantedmore.
Scr
appy
:let
'sgont
wana.

Inoddedandwedr ovet othechurch.Lastnight

wasawi ldni ghtbutmost l
yIhadf un.Iknow
meandLonaagr eedonst ripperbutthisni
gga
Scrappynev erli
st enssoIcoul dalapdance
from anot herstrippermani twassoheat edI
almostt ookhert omyr oom butIr emembered
thatifIdoIcoul dl oseLonaf orever.Idi
dn'
t
sleepwit hherIj ustst oppedt hel
apdance.

Scr
appy
:mar
ri
ageman
Me:
Iknowr
ight
.
Scr
appy:whowould'
vethought.Thepl
ayboy
hi
mselfl
eavi
ngthebachelorshi
ttous.
Me:can'
twai
tfort
hedayNel
l
areal
i
sesy
ou'
re
shi
t*l
aughs*
Scr
appy
:shutup.
Thisni
ggahasanewgi rlf
ri
endandIwon'tli
e
she'
swayt oobeaut
if
ul.Evenmorebeaut
iful
thanNell
a,butmanhecan'tkeephi
sdickinhis
pants.

Me:
Ican'
twai
ttof
inal
l
yhav
ethatgi
rlf
orl
i
fe.
Scrappy
:Idon'
tseemy
sel
fmar
ri
edatal
l
*l
aughs*
Me:Idi
dn'
tei
therbutwheny
ouf
indt
hatone,
youj
ustknowshe'st
heone.

Ididn'
twanttosayNel l
awasn' ttheonef orhi
m
becauseit'
snotmypl acebutcl ear
lyshe'snoti
f
he'sgoingtoconti
nuecheat i
ngonher .But
that'
snotmybusi nesstodayI'
m get t
ing
mar r
iedtothelov
eofmyl i
fe.
.
.
.
If
eelsobadf ornotposti
ng.I'
m
embarrassedeven,IgottheschoolbutnowI
needtosortoutresshitandit
'shard.Pr
ayfor
me
[
02/
18,
07:
38]Wdz:
~ICHANGEDAMONSTER
~
SEASON2
SEASONFI
NALE
I
NSERT20
.
.
.
-
-LONA'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Icriedlookingatmy selfinthemi r
ror.Ididn't
evenknowt hisnewLonabutIl ovedherwi thhe
everyfibreinmybei ng.Any onewhowoul d'v
e
toldmei nmyf irstyear
, I
'm goi
ngt ogetmar r
ied
i
nwoul d'
v etol
dt hem tost oplyi
ng.Iremember
thepani cattacksandt heconst antbul l
yingI
experiencedf rom myf ami l
yandf ri
ends.I
decidedt onoti nvit
eIsiphoandDabssoI '
m
guessingdadi sn'tcomingei t
her.Buti t
'sokayI
hav eallthepeopl ethatloveme.Iwantno
dramai nmyweddi ng.Someoneknockedont he
door ,
Isai dcomei nwipingmyt earst hankGod
makeupwast hel astti
meIpl annedondoi ngor
elseitwoul dbeamess.Ismi l
edatMul l
er.

Mul
l
er:
someonei
sreadyf
orherbi
gday
.

Icr
iedevenmorehuggi
nghim.NowImissKing
morethanany
thi
ng.Hewoul dcr
ackupajoke
j
usttoseemesmi l
eorgiv
emegoodadv i
ce
aboutthi
sdadthing.Mull
erbrushedmybackas
Icont
inuedcryi
ng.Thishastobet hehappi
est
dayofmyl i
febutI'
m cry
ingovermyspi nel
ess
fat
her.

Me:
Ihav
enoonet
owal
kmedownt
heai
sle.
Mul
l
er:
I'
m her
e.
Me:
tradi
ti
onsay
sithast
obet
hef
ather
.
*
sni
ffs*
Mul
ler
:fucktr
adi
ti
on.AndI
'
m af
athermor
e
t
hanabr ot
her
.

Il
aughednoddi
ng.Ihuggedhi
m agai
n.

Me:
thanky
ou.
Mul
l
er:
forwhatnow?
Me:*l
aughs*forbei
ngthebestbr
otheragir
l
coul
daskfor.Idon'
tknowwhereI'
dbewithout
y
ou.
Mull
er:y
ou'
renotdy
ingy
ou'
reget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed.
*
laughs*

Ipl
ayf
ull
yhi
thi
mjoi
ninghi
m ont
hel
augh.

Me:
tot
hinky
ouhat
edourr
elat
ionshi
p.
Mul
ler
:anybr
otherwoul
dbewor
ri
ed.ThatNi
gg
awasamanwhor e
Me: Iknow,hewasmybestfr
iendbef
oreal
l
Lloy
doft hi
s.St
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evehechangedj
ust
forme.
Mul
l
er:
her
eal
l
ylov
esy
ou.Iseeal
lthatshi
tnow.
Me:
feel
sli
keaf
air
ytal
e.
Mull
er:whenani
ggal
ovesagi
rl
,theyl
ovehar
d.
Iseethati
nhi
m now.
Me:
yeah*
smi
l
es*
Mul
l
er:nowfini
shup.I
'
mreadyf
ort
hisweddi
ng
t
oend.Ihat
esuits.

Il
aughedathi
m andpr
oceededwi
thmy
makeup.
.
.
-
-SCRAPPY'
SPOV-
-
.
.
Il
ookedatherpi cturesmi l
ing.Idon'tknowhow
butit'scrazyhowIam dat i
ngt hi
sgi r
l andshe
sti
llhasn'treali
sedIhav eadaught erandI 'm
datingNel l
a.Idon' tknowwhyIhav en'ttol
dher,
Ifeel l
ikeshe'dleav emei fshedi d.She'san
i
ndependentwomant hathasherownhai rsal
on
business.She'sv er yi
ndependentt ot hepoint
wher eshenev erl etsmebuyherany thingno
mat terhowhar dIconv inceher.IsawNel l
a
approachingmeandIt urnedof fmyphone.I
smiledlooki
ngather .Shewasr eall
ybeaut i
ful
andIloveherI '
mj ustnotinlovewi t
hher .Ican'
t
tel
lherbecauset hatwoul dbreakherhear t
somet hi
nglikethatscaresme.Nel l
aheldme
downwhennoonewast her
ef ormeandf orme
tojustdumpherf oraf li
ngwoul dbecr azybut
atthesamet i
meIdon' tfeell
ikethisisaf l
ing.
Thewayt hatgirlmakesmef eel i
scrazyand
thesexisonpoi nt.

Nel
l
a:wher
e'sy
ourmi
ndat
?
Me:
nowher
e.Justt
hinki
ng.

Shef
urr
owedhereyebr
owsandnodded.I
want
edtochanget
hetopi
cqui
ck.

Me:
whatdi
dthenannysay
?
Nel
l
a:t
hey
'r
est
il
lokay
.
Inoddedandcheckedherbeaut if
uldress.The
bri
desmaiddr esseswer edope.Kidsweren't
al
lowedandIwasokaywi ththatbecauseifmy
ki
dwasher eI'
dpr obabl
ynotconcent r
atethat
's
howmuchIl ovemypr i
ncess.Sheli
teral
l
yhas
mewr appedar oundherf i
nger.Myphoner ang,I
l
ookedatt hecallerIDandinstant
lyrej
ectedthe
cal
landsai dI'
m busy .

Nel
l
a:who'
sthat
?
Me:
wor
krel
ated.

Shenoddedandki ssedmylipsbefore
disappeari
ngofftogetreadyfortheweddi
ng.I
can'tt
ellNell
aI'
m nothappyany moreori
'v
e
fall
enoutofloveforherbecauseshehasbeen
withmet hroughsomuch, sacri
fi
cingmy
happinessistheleastIcoul
ddoandmy
daughterdeser
vestoli
vei
ninahappyhome.
Evenifthatmeanssneaki
ngar
ound.
.
~~
.
-
-RELLI
K'SPOV-
-
.
.
Icouldn'
ttakemyey esof fherinthatweddi ng
dressevenaftershewasnextt ome.Nowwas
ti
mef orthevows.Iclearedmyt hroatfeel
i
ng
nervous.Everyonestart
edl aughing.Ichuckled
atthat.

Me:baby.Youknowwe' vebeent hroughso

much,andeacht i
met hatjustbr
ingsourlove
cl
osertoget
her.Nobodyt houghtthi
sdaywoul d
come,theyal
lthoughtyouwer ejustlustbutI
knew.Iknewf rom thedayIsawy ouinthat
par t
yl ookingallnaturalandbeautif
ulIknewI
wasgoi ngt omar r
yy ouondayev enifi
ttooka
l
ifetimeconv i
ncingy ouIknewy ouwoul dbe
mi ne.Iwant edy outobet hemot herofmy
childrenandmywi fenowmydr eamsar e
comi ngt rue.Ican'twaitfort
helifewehav e
aheadofus.

Shelookedatmewi t
htear
sinhereyes.Iwi
ped
them andtheyj
ustf
ellmor
e.Thepastorsai
d
nowitwasherturn

Lona:youlovedmeev enwhenIdi dn'tl

ov e
myself.Youshowedmeev erydaythaty ou
neverwantsexandy ouwantedmor e.Atfir
stI
wassoscar edofyou* l
aughswi t
haudi ence*
youlookedreal
lyscarythenyouturnedoutt o
berealsoft
-
Me:
don'
tgeti
ttwi
stedev
ery
one.I
'
m sof
twi
th
mywife,
ever
yoneel
seIwi
l
lbur
sty
ouhead
open.

Wealll
aughedatmyj
oke.Shepl
ayf
ull
y
smackedmyarm.

Lona:youwer emybestfri
endt henl
overthen
babyfathernowhusband.Al li
nally
ou'r
emy
ever
ythingandmor eXavi
er.Iknowwe'llsurvi
ve
thi
s,mar r
iageki
l
lsalotofcouplesbutwe'll
showt hem howit'
sdone.

Thecr owdwentcr azyatherl

astsentence.I
smirkednodding,yupthat'
smywi f
e.Af terthe"
I
Dos"wehadt oki ss,sowedidthepracticed
handshakewehadt hengaveakissatt heend.
Ever
y onelov
edt hat.Nowofftotherecept i
on.
~~
.
.
Me:
wif
e.
Lona:
*laughs*ohgosh.
Me:
Iwi
l
lnev
ergett
ir
edofsay
ingt
hat
.
Lona:Iknowy ouwon'
t.AndIdon'
twanty
ou
too*smiles*

Weshar edashortkissandl
aidonthejet
wait
ingfori
ttofinall
ymovebutitwastaki
ng
somet i
me.Ireceivedacal
lfr
om scrappy
.

me:
honey
moonst
art
saf
tert
heweddi
ng.
Scr
appy
:Nel
l
a!She.
..
.fuck!She'
s-
Me:woahwoah!Cal
m down.Tal
ksl
ow.What
's
wr
ongwithNel
la?
Scr
appy:shewentthr
oughmyphoneandi
-I
hadtocomeclean.Nowshe'
s..
.
Me:
she'
swhat
!?
Scr
appy
:she'
sdead.
Me:
what
!?
Scr appy:Ithoughtshewasokayman, Ireal
ly
did!Wet al
kedandsheaskedf orsomeTasha' s
foodt henwhenIcamebacksheusedmygun
man.Sheki ll
edher selfandt hel et
tersheleft
saidsomet hingl i
ke" Ihopey ou'lll
oveour
daught ernotl ikehowy oulov edme"IknowI 'm
af uckupIshoul d'vel ethergo.Idi dlethergo.
Yousai dit
'sbet tersheknewIt oldherandnow
she' sdead.It oldherXav ier!Iletherknowshe
deser vessomeonebet ter!Someoneot hert
han
meshedeci dedt okill herself!FuckmanIhat e
theshi tIdidt othatgi rl.
Me:
I'
ll
bet
her
eri
ghtnow.
Scr
appy
:Rel
l
ik-
Me:
giv
emeanHour
.
Ihungupandqui cklygotup.Knowingscr
appy
he'l
l bl
amehimselfandkil
lhimsel
f.Idon'
tli
ke
thathecheatedonherbecausehecoul d'
vejust
l
etherknowhe' snothappybuthef oundl
ove
elsewhereandiknewt hatwouldbetoohardfor
nellatohandl
e.

Lona:
wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?

Ipi
ckedherupbr
idal
sty
leandwal
kedoutt
he
j
et

Lona:i
fyoumissast
epanddr
opmei
'
llsl
ap
you.*
laughs*

ShesawIwasn'
tl
aughi
ngsoshel
ookedatme
worr
ied.
Lona:
what
'swr
ong!?
Me:
Ineedy
out
ocal
m downf
orabi
t.
Lona:
what
'swr
ong?

I
'm guessi
ngshedidn'
thearthephonecal
l
becauseIdidwal
kabitfurt
herawayfrom her
.

Lona:
Ineedt
oknow!

Iopenedtheranger
overdoorandl
etherin.
Whilethedoorwasopenedihel
dherthi
ghs.

Me:
baby
,pr
omi
semey
ou'
l
lbeokay
.

Itookmyphoneandmessagedthepeople
workingatt
hecompanyofthej
ett
obringa
doctorqui
ck.Knowi
ngLonashewon'
ttake
thesenewslightl
yatal
l.Fuckourhoneymooni
s
rui
ned.Itdi
dn'tevent
ake10mi nutesandt
hey
arri
ved.

Lona:they
'reher
enow.Whati
sit
!?Ofyou
cheatedonmeandgav emeadiseaseI
'm so
div
orcingyou.
Me:
Nel
l
a'sdead.

Shel
ookedatmeshocked.Shej
ustl
aughed.

Lona:ver
yfunny
.Nowl
et'
sgobabywe'
rel
ate
forourhoney
moon.

Il
ookedatherwi t
hsadeyes.Sheshookher
headviol
ent
ly.Shescr
eamedmaki ngmev er
y
worr
ied.
Lona:
no!Nonononono!*
cri
es*

Shet r
iedgetti
ngoutt hecarandoutofmygr i
p.
Shescr eamedev enhitti
ngmewhowashol di
ng
her.Seeingherli
ket hi
smademehav etearsi
n
myey es.Iwasn'ttherewhenshef i
rsthear
d
aboutKi ng'
sdeathsoseei ngherl
ikethi
s,i
t
real
lybrokeme.Thedoct orhadtosedateher
soshecoul dbeokay .
.
××××
.
-
-NARRATOR'
SPOV-
-
.
Nell
akil
l
edher sel
fbecauseshecouldn'
thandle
Scr
appyfall
ingoutofloveforher
.Hesacf r
iced
hi
shappinessandloveforhisnewgirlt
omake
sur
eshe'sokaybutwhenhef i
nal
lycameclean
shecoul
dn'ttakei
t.Nowt hey'
rel
i
ttl
epri
ncess
permanent l
yliv eswi thScr appyandhi s
girl
friend.Lonast i
llhat esScr appybecauset o
her,het ookawayherbestf riend.Al thoughshe
stil
lv i
sitsthei rdaught ershest illhateshi m.
Mul lerandJay dehadasecondchi l
dandst il
lno
mar riage.Mul leronl yseesmar ri
ageasawast e
oft i
mebecauset heyl ov eeachot herandt hat's
allthatmat ters.LonaandXav i
erar est i
llgoi ng
strong.Nowwi tht heirtwi nsgrowi ng, 2boy s.
Shewant stot r yagai nf oradaught erandweal l
knowXav ierlov est hebabymaki ngpr ocess.
Issyendedupf i
ndi ngher selfanewl ov e,she
doesn' tknowherol donei sdead.GhostandFi fi
willalway sbet her ef oreachot herandt hey '
re
stil
lgoi ngst rong.Theyev endeci dedt oadopta
newbor ntospar klet heirlove.Xav i
erst i
lll
eads
thegangwi thmonst ert endenci esbuti nt he
househol dhebecomessof tdaddyandhusband.
.
THEEND.