SUGI 29 Planning, Development and Support

Paper 131-29

Effective People Skills for the Project Manager: A Requirement

for Project Success and Career Advancement

Steven Flannes, Flannes Associates, Oakland, CA USA

ABSTRACT

Technical and software professionals must achieve the triple constraint of bringing projects to completion
according to budget, schedule and technical specifications. Unfortunately, project completion often relies too
strongly on technical tools and methodologies, often at the expense of a consideration of the people issues
that are always involved.

Projects are always technical problems with significant human dimensions. As projects increase in
complexity (virtual teams, involving cross cultural variables and the need to achieve more with less),
increasing emphasis is being placed upon the need for the technical professional to develop competencies
in specific, tangible "people skills." Importantly, people skills are also crucial for career advancement. These
people skills can be defined, practiced, and continually improved, and are best learned experientially.

This paper describes an innovative approach to articulating these people skills, which involve the abilities to:
communicate effectively on interpersonal levels, develop and apply an approach to conceptualizing
individual differences, apply need-specific leadership roles, craft tailored motivation strategies for individuals
and teams, resolve conflicts using issue-appropriate conflict resolution approaches, successfully manage
levels of professional and personal distress, and actively manage one's own career.

INTRODUCTION

Dramatic changes are taking place in the field of technology leadership and practice. There is a growing
awareness that the soft skills of leadership and project management are required competencies to compete
in a technology world that is rapidly evolving, is trying to emerge from its recent economic downturn, and is
being conducted on a global stage.

Adding to this complexity is the trend for more and more work to be done under the rubric of project teams,
often virtual and cross cultural in nature, consisting on independent frees agents brought together as needed
for the completion of distinct pieces of work. Charles Grantham, Ph.D. (2000) speaks to this trend when he
describes the workplace of the future, one that will be highlighted by a distributed workforce. And as this
trend towards distributed work models increases, the complexity of managing the human component of the
work will increase in orders of magnitude not yet identified.

This importance of managing the human component of technology work is being seen in number of
contexts. For example, I am a co-author of People Skills for Project Managers (Flannes and Levin, 2001), a
book that describes tangible people skills required for enterprise success. This importance is also seen in
the education of project managers and technical leaders, where the Project Management Institute (PMI)
(www.pmi.org) regularly provides workshops on a global level that address the need for the development of
the people side of technology leadership and practice.

Similarly, the articulation of this need for the development of people skills can be seen in the content of
thought leader gatherings in geographical centers of technology innovation. At a yearly conference held near
Stanford University in June, 2003, a number of chief executive officers from major technology companies
gathered to discuss the topic of how to create a renaissance in Silicon Valley. The gathering was sponsored
by the HR Forums (www.hrforums.com) , a human resources think tank operated by Mr. Aryae Coopersmith.
Among the speakers at this conference were chief executive officers or chairmen of Agilent Technologies,
Palm, 3 Com, BEA Systems, and Caspian Networks. Their comments about what was needed for this
technological and economic renaissance in Silicon Valley stressed the need for leadership qualities
grounded in people skills. These business leaders spoke to the need to develop a number of people skills,
including the abilities to communicate clearly with stakeholders, find ways to engage people, operate with

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styles that build trust, display behavior that is congruent with stated values, and treat employees with
respect. In other words, growth and expansion of technology companies is being described by these high
profile leaders, not just in terms of product development and the identification of new markets, but as being
dependent upon employees/leaders who have the ability to apply people skills to achieve business goals.

This coupling of people skills to business success is also captured very acutely in a recent article by the
leadership thought leader and author Tom Peters. In the January, 2004 edition of PM Network, a publication
for members of the Project Management Institute, Peters (2004) has an article entitled “Nix the
Spreadsheet.” Calling on technology leaders, particularly in the field of project management, to spend more
time focusing on the people aspects of leadership, Peters writes:

“These days, it’s the people skills that matter and will increasingly determine an organization’s success.”

And he adds that in the future, teams will coalesce globally to solve difficult problems, and that:

“Project managers-those with a knack for people skills-will be the glue that holds these teams together.”

So, the trend is established; people skills are receiving more and more attention in terms of being distinct
leadership competencies required for success in the technical fields. Technical competency is no longer
sufficient on its own (if it ever was) to successfully complete projects and advance one’s career. People
skills are equally important.

WHAT ARE “PEOPLE SKILLS?”

People skills, when discussed is leadership circles, are unfortunately often defined in general terms, rather
than with any specificity about the behaviors or skill being described. For example, leaders are encouraged
to “share the vision,” team members are encouraged to be “serviced oriented,” and relationships with
customers or vendors are to be conducted in a “win-win” atmosphere. Most people nod in agreement when
hearing these goals, but very few people ever really take the time to operationalize what is meant by these
types of people skills.

This paper is grounded in a discussion and conceptual expansion of seven specific people skills (first
described by Flannes and Levin, 2001) that are crucial to enterprise success and career advancement.
These seven skills involve the abilities to:

• Employ four distinct interpersonal communication techniques (that facilitate the transfer of
information) when communicating one-on-one and in groups
• Conceptualize and apply four distinct leadership roles, each one applied based upon the current
needs of the project or the stakeholder
• Use a framework for identifying personal style and individual differences (so that tailored
approaches can be crafted for communication, motivation, and conflict resolution applications with
all stakeholders.)
• Craft tailored, multi-factored motivation strategies (for individuals and teams)
• Productively manage BOTH conflict and agreement on project teams
• Mediate and manage one’s own levels of personal and professional distress
• Demonstrate competency in six, active career management skills

While this paper will not focus in detail on methods for the acquisition and development of these people
skills (as that is the subject for another paper or for developmental settings such as workshops and
coaching), a few general points on this subject will be offered. A primary belief is that these people skills can
be taught and refined, and no one is excluded from the pool of potential practitioners of these skills.
Granted, these skills come easier to some than others, but everyone can develop basic competency
provided that he or she is willing to do three things. These three things are: be willing to experiment and
practice these skills (and suspend that self-imposed drive for perfection!), use a sense of humor with
yourself and not take yourself too seriously, and learn from those around you about what works for them.

ABILITY TO EMPLOY FOUR INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION TECHNIQUES

The four interpersonal communication techniques that will be described below should be viewed as the
fundamentals for any collection of people skills.(These techniques surface from years of research on
effective communication plus my practical experience of 24 years of work in consulting in workplace

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communication and team dynamics.) No one will be viewed as having good people skills unless these four
foundational skills are in place in the individual’s behavioral repertoire.

CROSS CULTURAL CONSIDERATIONS AND LIMITATIONS

However, before delving into a detailed description of these skills, two cautionary points must be made. The
first of these cautionary points states that the successful application of these skills must consider cross-
cultural sensitivities. Some of these techniques work best in certain cultures, and are less effective in other
cultures. In a recent two day training on the subject of people skills conducted in London in 2003 by this
author and Larry Butler, M.A., the former senior human resources officer at PeopleSoft, some of the
attendees, representing a number of countries, said that certain interpersonal communication techniques
would work well in their culture, while others would be perceived as prying or rude. In sum, consider the
culture in which you are operating. These days, when so much business is conducted in “international
English,” one can make the mistake of assuming that cultural issues are not in play. They are, and they
need to be respected.

The second cautionary comment addresses the idea that these four techniques, when viewed intellectually,
often seem basic, simplistic, and not very sophisticated. On one level that is true. However, do not
underestimate the profound positive results that you can achieve in your business (and personal)
relationships by employing these techniques. They can assist you in developing a richness and
effectiveness in your relationships with all stakeholders that belies the apparent simplicity of these four
communication techniques.

OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS

These questions are good at drawing out people, giving them a sense that you are interested in what they
have to say. These questions encourage conversation, the exploration of ideas, and the give-and-take
between people.

Example: "Bill, please tell me more of your thoughts about X."

A visual representation of this type of question can be two vectors, expanding over time as these questions
are asked. The expanding vectors represent the wide range of content that these types of questions can
elicit.

Questioner

ACTIVE LISTENING

Here, the skill is to give feedback to the other person that indicates that you are hearing his or her message,
that you are following what he or she is saying. A great skill to have in developing followership and
communicating the image of you as the interested party.

Example: "Gene, it sounds as though you believe X, Y, and Z about the proposal."

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A visual representation of this type of question would be arrows directed towards each other, suggesting the
listener is sending his or her version of the speaker’s message back to the speaker for confirmation or
clarity.

Speaker
Listener

Listener processes the

message by:

• "Hearing" what
is said
• Crafting
summary
• Feeding back
summary

TRACKING THE DISCUSSION

This skill involves the ability to follow the discussion, and offer supportive comments when the flow of the
conversation is getting off point. This technique helps you and your communication partner conduct
meaningful, goal-directed conversations.

Example: "Barbara, I think my comments have gotten us off point. Let' s get back to what you were saying
about X."

The visual representation for this skill would be something akin to keeping the speakers’ “directions” (that is,
content or subjects) going in the same direction.

Speaker A
Speaker B Speaker A

REFRAMING THE DISCUSSION

With this skill, one is taking a negative perception, outlook, or attitude of the other person and is trying to put
a more positive “frame” around the issue, attempting to create more optimism and action-taking on the part
of the negative individual.

Example: Person A says “Every time I call for software support, I get no help or some type of very poor
service!”

Person B reframes the issue with a more positive “frame” by saying “Well, yes, that has often been true in
the past, but I understand they have hired some new staff. Possibly this time you’ll receive a better reception
when you call.”

Visually, this skill is exemplified by the literal changing of frames:

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Issue X with Simplistic, Negative Frame Issue X with New, More Expansive Frame

The goal of reframing is to help the individual see more possibilities for solving the problem, creating a
sense of "possibility," as compared to the experience of:

Being stuck in a closed system of negative perceptions and expectations, or

One-dimensional thinking.

Now, it never happens during a conversation that we use just one of these communication techniques.
Doing that would make us look foolish, simplistic, and would not serve our purpose of being effective
communicators. In reality, one needs to be able to employ all of these techniques in the same conversation
or discussion, creating “bridging” comments that allow one to move from one technique to another (Bridging
will not be discussed in detail in this paper).

Practice using this assortment of communication techniques within the same discussion and notice the
results. You may find that certain techniques are easier for you to use than others. In a recent two-day
training (Flannes and Butler, 2003) on the subject of people skills, a majority of project managers reported
that the most difficult technique to use was “the open-ended question.” Many felt that it was not action-
oriented enough for their styles, and because they were project managers, they wanted to be action-oriented
to assist their team members. Conversely, others stated that it was a great technique and one that "should
be used more often in order to understand people better." Such comments suggest that each of these
communication techniques has benefits and liabilities; the “art” of implementation is knowing what technique
to use at what time.

COMMUNICATION SUBTLETIES

In addition to these communication techniques, there are communication subtleties that can add great value
to our ability to communicate effectively. Described below are two of these subtle levels of considering
communication efforts. The internationally known psychologist James F.T. Bugental, Ph.D, developed the
“alliance and context” concepts (1990). The "process and content" ideas have existed in different forms for a
number of years within the body of research on counseling and communication skills.

ALLIANCE AND CONTEXT

When considering how to say something to someone, always consider the alliance and the context. The
alliance refers to the nature of your relationship with the other person ( Is the person a coworker, a friend, an
intimate partner, a stranger, etc.) and the context refers to current setting (Are you talking to them in the
hallway? The boardroom? A café? The car?). By tailoring your message after considering the alliance and
the context, you have the best opportunity of successfully being "heard."

Alliance "windows" include:

Friend, coworker, boss, stranger, nasty customer, tennis partner, ex-wife, etc.

Context "windows" include:

Sitting in the conference room, on the phone, eating at a café, standing in the hall, etc.

Said differently, the concepts of alliance and context answer those general but very important questions
such as: “How should I say X to a person during a conflict?” or “What’s the best way to tell someone that
their work on the project needs to be more timely?”

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PROCESS AND CONTENT

The process addresses "how" you are talking about a subject (such as whether you are direct/indirect,
clear/unclear, accusatory/supporting, happy/sad), while the content deals with the "subject" of the discussion
(such as the software problems on the project, the time for the next meeting, or where you are going for
lunch). Often, communication is ineffective because information is being sent via the process channel
without the material being described openly and in a straightforward manner.

ABILITY TO CONCEPTUALIZE AND APPLY FOUR DISTINCT LEADERSHIP ROLES

Leadership roles in technical organizations are demanding positions, in part because one is leading very
bright, opinionated, and independent professionals. Similarly, difficulty exists because the leader must
execute a number of different leadership roles, based upon the stage of the project, the nature of the current
problem, and the sophistication of the people involved. And the leader must be comfortable moving from one
role to another very quickly, or must find a way to discharge a number of roles at the same time, in the same
discussion.

Many, many books and articles have been written on the subject of leadership. The field of leadership
abounds with specialists, systems, and training opportunities. Frequently, I feel overwhelmed when trying to
wade through the information with an eye to identifying the common themes. In People Skills for Project
Managers (Flannes and Levin, 2001) Dr. Ginger Levin and I took a “minimalist” view to articulating a model
for describing leadership, believing that often, particularly when dealing with the ambiguous and often messy
subject of people skills, keeping things simple makes sense.

This minimalist system resulted in leadership being described as consisting of four distinct but
complementary leadership roles that were described as leadership “hats.” These hats are like first cousins:
different but related when the big picture is considered. These hats were described are leader, manager,
facilitator, and mentor.

LEADER ROLE

The leader role involves the project manager articulating the “why” to the team. This means stating the
vision, is pragmatic terms, describing why the project is being done. Not just “what” is to be done, but “why.”
Here, the project manager is describing the added value that this piece of work will bring to the customer.
When offered this view of “why,” team members often start a project with increased motivation, curiosity, and
the willingness to take on arduous tasks. Presenting this vision is not a one-time task, and the project
manager may need to remind team members going forward, especially during difficult times, why they are
doing what they are doing.

MANAGER ROLE

The manager role involves tasks related to the establishment of the project administrative infrastructure and
the monitoring of quality, costs, and schedules. Accountability and attention to details are hallmarks of this
role. Obviously, without this role in place, the project drifts in dangerous directions. When pairing this role
with the leader role, one can start to see that not all leaders are good managers, and vice versa. (The
sophisticated or veteran project manager realizes which of these four roles are personal strengths or
weaknesses; one doesn’t have to do them all, just make sure that someone on the team covers them).

FACILITATOR ROLE

The facilitator role involves the project manager getting the resources needed by the team to complete the
tasks of the project. This is a “making things happen for the team” function, and can involve obtaining
financial and/or human resources for the team, garnering key executive political support, or confronting
problematic subcontractors who are not meeting schedules. The facilitator role requires the ability to have
vision, anticipating needs and problems.

MENTORING ROLE

And finally, the mentoring role involves both the obvious and subtle provision of developmental assistance to
members of the team. Because project managers are project-task focused in their relationships with existing
team members, this role does not involve a formal mentoring relationship where two people meet on a
regular basis in support of the developmental needs of the more junior professional. Rather, this role
involves the subtle guiding, teaching, encouraging, and developing of the team member, done in a manner

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where the team member often does not know that he or she is being “mentored!” This is achieved by the
project manner asking how he or she can be of assistance, quietly offering examples of how they or
someone they saw in the past handle the team member’s current problem, and modeling behavior that is
consistent with higher levels of professional performance.

PSYCHOLOGICAL CHALLENGES OF THE FOUR LEADERSHIP ROLES

A project manager or technical leader needs certain personal qualities to successfully discharge each of
these leadership roles. Now, since my original training was as a clinical psychologist, let’s look the
psychological attributes that are required for each of these four roles.

For the leader role, the individual must be comfortable in expressing himself or herself verbally, in a manner
that interpersonally engages each of the team members (written expressions of the vision are not sufficient).
One also needs to be able and comfortable in displaying a personal passion or excitement for the vision of
the project. And related to this, the individual wearing the leader hat must have the psychological capability
to process anger and disappointment, so that such feelings do not lead to a cynicism that will hinder the
team’s ability to embrace a vision with motivation.

The manager role requires a psychological comfort with structure, monitoring and tracking, and the drive for
closure. The drive for closure can be thought of as a perceptual style attribute, where the individual feels
uncomfortable with “loose ends.” This internal, psychologically driven desire for the “tying up of loose ends”
translates to the professional competency of being good at performing in the project closure stage. Also
present psychologically with this role is being “thick-skinned,” comfortable confronting others and the ability
to be comfortable when “not being liked” by team members. Said differently, this quality suggests a self
concept not based in seeing one’s self as a “people pleaser.”

Facilitator has many of the qualities just described for the manager role, especially the psychological comfort
with not being liked at times. Specific to this idea is the importance of skills and competencies in the art of
assertiveness, which is defined as the willingness and ability to stand up for what you need, in a way that
respects yourself and the other person, and a persistence over time to pursue the need even in the face of
conflict.

And with mentor, the psychological requirement is the ability and comfort to “give” to others on interpersonal
levels, where one is able to step out of his or her own experience enough to conceptualize the needs of the
other, and is able to access an internal motivation to meet the needs of the other within a developmental
framework. Often in the mentoring role, the “giving” must be offered with no strings attached, where the giver
is comfortable with the idea that recognition and a thank-you may not be coming from the person who is
receiving the mentoring or coaching.

No one leader or project manager is equally comfortable or psychologically talented in all four of these roles.
When most people read this description of the psychological challenges of the four roles, there is often the
reaction of “this one I can easily handle” or “this one is a tough one for me.” The question then arises about
how one can develop the psychological comfort and competencies in these four roles. A VERY short
answer, for the sake of this paper, would be to say that executive coaching and focused training settings
often help.

VIGNETTE ILLUSTRATING THE FOUR LEADERSHIP “HATS”

Often, a vignette can be helpful in presenting a context for an idea or concept, and a vignette will be used to
illustrate how these four leadership hats can be worn by the same project manager over the course of a day.
The presentation of this project manager’s day is simplistic, and no leader ever has a day when just one
leadership role is solely being exercised at any one point of time. Still, the vignette may communicate how
different roles are employed, and how one needs to be comfortable and competent in shifting roles.

The following vignette describes a project manager' s day. I have just described the various leadership hats
(leader, manager, facilitator, and mentor) that the project manager needs to be able to wear in leading
teams. The leadership hats will appear in bold caps after the sentence or section that reflects the presence
of that role.

Barbara arrived to work early so that she could review the latest information on the expenditures for her
project (MANAGER). As she was reading through the reports, she received a call from Paul, a junior project
professional on her team, who seemed confused and lost about how to handle a tough negotiation that

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would take place that afternoon (MENTOR). Barbara agreed to go to Paul' s office and think out loud with
him about how he could proceed (MENTOR).

After 15 minutes, she left his office and headed down the hall to speak with Eric, the project' s sponsoring
executive. Eric had promised her additional people for the project, but had not followed through with his
commitment. Barbara assertively made her case for the need for the two additional people, and Eric
promised that they would be assigned to her within the next two weeks (FACILITATOR). Before leaving his
office, Barbara took the opportunity to review project progress and deliverables to date (MANAGER).

Following lunch, Barbara met with James and Margaret who said they were not clear about how their
assignment fit into the overall goals of the project, as they had been working as virtual team members at a
remote location (LEADER). Barbara welcomed the chance to review the project goals, as well as subtly
offering some suggestions about next steps that James and Margaret could take (MANAGER, MENTOR).

ABILITY TO ASSESS INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES

As much as is logistically possible, it is crucial to attempt to see and embrace the individual differences
present within each stakeholder.

Individual differences suggest that while your team may consist of “software engineers,” you in reality have a
group of people with different personalities, values, and professional interests. Clearly, there is nothing new
about a statement like that about individual differences, but its self evidence does not minimize the
importance of remembering it in applied settings. And to the extent that you can “see” these individual
differences, and then use this knowledge of differences to craft tailored approaches to relating to your
stakeholder, the more success you will have.

MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR AND PEOPLE SKILLS IMPLICATIONS

It is important to not arbitrarily label individuals based upon your perceptions of their personality. However, it
is nevertheless valuable to have a framework to apply when considering individual styles and how to best
interact with each individual. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is one such framework that works well
in a number of different settings for me, but you should search for the system of describing personality that
is most comfortable for you.

The MBTI can offer a wealth of information that you can use in developing your people skills of seeing your
stakeholders as distinct individuals. This results from your being able to use the MBTI ideas to know yourself
better (and therefore have a greater handle on your preferred method of communicating), as well as
developing ideas about the style of your communication partner (and therefore being able to craft a tailored
communication approach for that specific individual).

The MBTI is a personal style assessment tool based upon the psychological writings of Carl Jung (1971)
who believed that individuals varied in terms of how they focused their energy, their manner of attending to
the world, the method used to make decisions, and their preferred mode of organizing the self in the world.

Katherine Briggs and Isabel Myers, enthralled by the richness of Jung' s ideas, created the MBTI as a way of
bringing Jung' s idea to the general public. The questionnaire is used today in many countries and in many
applications, one such application being the creation of balanced work teams (Hammer, 1997). The MBTI
measures one’s preferences on four different scales, which are extraversion-introversion, sensing-intuition,
thinking-feeling, and judging-perceiving.

Definitions of the MBTI terms are presented below:

Extraversion or Introversion: The manner in which a person is energized.

Extraversion: One is energized from a strong interaction with the outside world of activities
and people contact, or

Introversion: Person is energized from a focus on one' s internalreflection on ideas and

impressions.

Sensing or Intuition: The manner in which a person attends to a task.

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Sensing: Person attends to a task and the world through a pragmatic, factual orientation,
often with an immediate time perspective, or

Intuition: One perceives a task more from the big picture perspective, with an eye towards
possibilities and innovation.

Thinking or Feeling: The method a person uses to make a choice or decision.

Thinking: One makes a choice based upon a logical-rational review of the options, or

Feeling: Person uses the subjective and personal values to make decisions.

Judging or Perceiving: How does a person like to live or approach a situation?

Judging: Person prefers to go into an event with a plan and an agenda, or

Perceiving: One prefers a flexible and spontaneous approach, want to keep options open

There is no “right” or “wrong” style, and in fact, we all exhibit behavior and approaches that are
representative of both sides of any of the four scales. What is important is the direction and the extent of the
preference. By obtaining a working knowledge and understanding of the ideas behind the scales, the project
manager can make deliberate choices regarding the selection and management of team members.

The individual who completes the MBTI, in addition to receiving information on each of the four individual
scales, also receives a global “type,” which is a combination of the preference for each of the four scales.
There are sixteen possible types, representing the total number of possible combinations of the four scales.
For a detailed description of the sixteen MBTI types, with important information regarding the work
contributions of each of the types, see Hirsch and Kummerow (1990).

You can apply the MBTI ideas to working specifically with different issues with your project team. For
example, let' s assume that you have a team member who needs to learn some new information about a
certain technology that you will be using on the new project. Let us assume that this team member takes the
MBTI questionnaire, and is described in the results as E (Extravert), N (iNtuition), T (Thinking), and J
(Judging). This team member' s overall style is then known as ENTJ.

By referring to the chart below, you can then develop a "learning" plan for this person by capturing the bullet
points under the appropriate letter. Such a learning plan, referring to the bullet points, would involve:

Putting this team member in learning situations where:

He can learn in a collaborative, participatory manner (E)

starting with an overview of the concepts and big picture (N)
which allows him to develop theories (T)
that can lead to goal directed learning (T)

Preferred Learning Approaches for the 8 MBTI Preferences

Extraversion Introversion

• Active, experiential Reflective, observational

• Collaborative, participatory Lecture format, readings
• Think out loud Internally review and process
• Learn best in groups Learn best in solo settings

Sensing Intuition

• Desire concrete, practical applications Desire overview and concepts

• Want step-by-step approach Want to follow ideas vs. steps

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• Fact based Idea based

• Present time orientation for learning Future time frame application
• Tactile learners Visual learners

Thinking Feeling

• Desire theory presented sequentially, logically Emphasis on experiential learning

• Does it “make sense?” Does it “feel right?”
• Sequential learners Random learners
• Systemic decision makers Value based decision makers

Judging Perceiving

• Desire structure and order “Cramped” by structure

• Like drills and repetition Prefer free flow experiences
• Goal orientation for learning Learning for the “experience"

This same approach to crafting tailored approaches to dealing with stakeholders on a number of issues is
presented again in the following chart. This chart provides information on implications for best approaches in
communication, decision-making, learning (again), and resolving conflict for each of the eight MBTI
preferences. These approaches of considering the individual qualities of each of your stakeholders can help
you with the refinement of your people skills, particularly your ability to communicate with others, tailoring
your message to the style of each individual.

Implications for:
MBTI
Type Communication Decision-Making Learn Conflict

Extravert expressive participatory interactive talk it out

Introvert reflective think about it review on think it through

on their own

Sensing concrete practical immediate wants examples

time frame

Intuition big picture concept rationale establish rules

Thinking logical the facts a system what' s fair

Feeling personal values interactive win-win

Judging orderly closure follow a plan resolve

Perceiving free-form options informal let it evolve

The MBTI has been quite popular within technology organizations over the last decade. If you have taken
the MBTI before, keep in mind that there are many new wrinkles to this very effective assessment tool.
Research continues, and a series of new interpretive reports is now available. One of these reports, the
STEP II, now describes subscales for each of the preferences. These subscales offer a great richness to the
original concepts. The MBTI is available in a number of different language versions. For more information on
the these new MBTI advances and products, you may contact an MBTI publisher (CPP at www.cpp-db.com
in the United States or OPP Limited in Oxford in the UK at www.opp.co.uk ) or me at
[email protected].

ABILITY TO MOTIVATE INDIVIDUAL STAKEHOLDERS AND TEAMS

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Motivation is one of the people skills that is really more art than science. As our previous discussion of
individual differences suggests, what is motivating to one individual will not obviously be motivating to
another team member. Work with technical trained professionals over the years has suggested to me that
three core beliefs should be considered when you are crafting a motivation strategy for an individual team
member or for the team as a unit. These core beliefs include:

• Avoid using clichés, slogans, and stereotypes in thinking about motivation. What motivates an
individual is a function of his or her values, personality, current career stage, and professional
goals.

• Always initiate a frank, direct conversation with each team member about what that individual finds
is motivating for he or she. Ask open-ended questions that facilitate the team member in thinking
out loud about his or her individual sources of motivation. Make this an ongoing conversation with
the team member, as compared to a one-time meeting at the start of the project.

• During these discussions, be active in your questioning, using probing questions. Be honest and
realistic with the team member, staying away from over promising what is not possible for the
project. Help guide the team member to project activities that reflect team member passions and
capabilities while still achieving mission-critical results.

Regarding your behavior as a leader, my experience in working with technical professionals suggests that
you should consider the following checklist for your own behavior:

1. Are you applying the basic interpersonal communication techniques (open-ended questions, active
listening, tracking, and reframing) presented at the beginning of this paper? If you are, you are
creating the interpersonal connections, and relationships, that later allow you to use when
communicating around issues of motivation. If you are not using these interpersonal techniques,
you have no “channels” created to use in interacting later on the subject of motivation.

2. Are your statements and actions congruent? The best-crafted mission statements and verbal
pronouncement are meaningless if your actions do not match your statements. When this type of
incongruity exist, motivation is difficult at best.

THE “FLOW” VIEW OF MOTIVATION

When thinking about approaches to motivation that can be applied to motivating team members as well as
motivating yourself, let' s consider a very interesting body of work by Mihaly Csikszentmihali, Ph.D.(1996)
that has innovative applications to the subject of motivation. He has written on the subject of the "flow
experience" as a crucial foundation for the presence of individual creativity, and, by implication, motivation.

Briefly stated, the flow experience involves activities that, because of their specific importance and meaning
for the individual, offer the individual a deeply satisfying experience. Some of the attributes of the flow
experience involve the individual' s perception that there are clear, action goals along each step of the work
process, the chance to receive real-time feedback exists, there is a match (or balance) between the team
member' s skills and duties, the team member' s concern for failure is minimal, self -consciousness is reduced
due to the involvement in something that is very personally important, and the team member is so immersed
in the task that the internal tracking of time is not paramount.

Specifically, the practical application of these flow ideas for a project manager looking for ways to motivate
team members (or to motivate himself or herself) would contain these points:

• Ask the questions such as “What part of your work really excites you?” and “What are the things
you do at work where you really lose track of time, and get deeply involved in what you’re doing?”
and “What’s your description of the ideal work day, the type of day where you feel you that you are
really firing on all cylinders?”

A PERSONAL OBSERVATION

As I write these words, I am in San Francisco, sitting in an office on the building’s twenty-third floor, with a
view down to the North Beach section of San Francisco and a view of the Golden Gate Bridge. I realize that:
I have been writing for two hours without noticing the time, I’m feeling really tuned in to what I’m doing, and I

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haven’t noticed that the bright sun of the morning has given way to clouds and fog. This immersion in what
I’m doing, losing a sense of time and external cues, is a flow experience for me.

These experiences motivate me (and help me handle stress). Look for opportunities for these flow
motivation moments for team member activities and for yourself. They certainly aren’t present in all work
tasks, but they can make the more painful or boring work tasks more manageable.

INDIVIDUALS ARE NOT FIXED OBJECTS

Motivation approaches should also consider certain more philosophical considerations, such as what is
one’s view of the nature of people. While that sounds like a lofty consideration, it can have some very
concrete applications to how we interact (motivate) our stakeholders.

Leaders need to remember that team members are not fixed or static objects. They are not inanimate
objects to which we “do” something, such as “motivate.” People are evolving, changing, fluid, and,
unpredictable, and we all respond best when we are treated as such. The antithesis of seeing people in this
respectful manner is treating them as objects that we must leverage towards common goals.

We are treating stakeholders as objects when we view them through static or arbitrary filters. Said
differently, this is the process of viewing people through a stereotype. Consider your own objectifying
thoughts (we all have them!) when you observe your internal reactions when you read the words
“sponsoring executive,” “outside project auditor,” and “corporate attorney.” Like most people, you will notice
a set of characteristics that you attribute to these titles. The attributions may be positive or negative,
accurate or inaccurate, but they are still filters through which your vision may bias you towards seeing them
as static objects.

Clearly, a certain degree of objectification is necessary in the world (without being able to make some
assumptions about people’s roles, we would be unable to function each day), but the challenge is to be
aware of the nature and extent of our objectifying tendencies so that we may treat people as individuals, and
therefore create the foundation for a motivating team environment.

In concluding this section on motivation, let’s consider two key points:

• As a leader, you will make great strides in creating a motivating environment when you strive
for congruence between your words and your actions.

People have incredibly accurate antennae that pick up a lack of congruence between
statements and behavior. And even if the team member does not consciously register the lack
of congruence, he or she will still pick up on unconscious levels that something doesn’t smell
right. Once that takes place, motivation will suffer to some degree, regardless of your other
initiatives.

• Ask the team member what is motivating for him or her.

They are the experts in this area, and you need to position yourself as a facilitator to assist
them in articulating their sources of motivation. Know your team members as individuals.
Remember, just because something motivates you is no guarantee that it will motivate others.

ABILITY TO MANANGE CONFLICT AND AGREEMENT

In most cultures, conflict is a subject of anxiety for most people. Rarely is there a person who feels that the
resolution of conflict is an easy skill to master. And this view of conflict has been born out in my experience
in conducting training sessions for project managers in the United States and the United Kingdom; during
these sessions project managers routinely say that conflict resolution skills are the toughest of the people
skills to master.

For most individuals, and in most cultures, for that matter, conflict is often viewed in dichotomous terms. On
one end of the dichotomy resides the belief that conflict is often resolved through aggressive means. On the
other end of the dichotomy is the belief that conflict is often resolved through a passive giving in to the other,
who is often seen as the aggressor. And it is this dichotomous thinking on conflict resolution that makes the

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subject of conflict such a tough one for most of us; we only see two ways to resolve the conflict, and neither
one looks very good!

THOMAS-KILMANN CONFLICT RESOLUTION MODEL

Fortunately, Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann (2004) have created an approach to conflict
resolution that gives us more options, and tools, that we can use. Thomas and Kilmann have described a
multifaceted approach to resolving conflict that is based in the description of five distinct techniques or
approaches that can be used. Thomas and Kilmann believe that each of the five approaches is a valid
approach for certain situations, and that no one approach is the “right” one. Additionally, they believe that
our goal as a professional is to develop competencies in each of the five approaches, plus the knowledge of
when to use what approach.

This model consists of the following approaches:

AVOIDING

Avoiding, which can be used when the issue is not that important and when you can afford to let it slip by
without taking action, possibly to curry the favor of a stakeholder who might have a certain need. For
example, you might avoid confronting the team member who missed the last project meeting because you
remember she cancelled her vacation over the holidays to assist in launching the project.

COMPETING

Competing, where the issue is very important, you know (believe?) that your position is the right one, and
you have to make sure your position prevails. An example could be the team member who is about to
employ a software package that you know is significantly flawed, and you must stop its deployment in order
to stave off big problems later. In essence, you are following an “I must win, the other person must lose”
strategy.

ACCOMMODATING

Accommodating is used when you give in to the position of the other person, often to create good will, on a
subject that is of little importance. You are saying, so to speak, that “whatevever you want on this issue, you
can have.” This approach could be exemplified by letting the other person choose the hotel for the team
meeting because apparently he has strong feelings about the subject, you believe that it really doesn’t
matter where it’s held, and you do not want to create a needless point of contention.

COMPROMISING

Compromising is appropriate for a situation of moderate consequence, where both individuals have decent
points, and it’s important to find a win-win solution where the parties can meet in the middle without quality
suffering.

COLLOBORATING

Collaborating is a manifestation of “two heads are better than one. “ Use this approach where both parties in
the conflict are equally competent, a creative solution is desired, and both parties must conclude the process
with the feeling of having been deeply involved in creating the negotiated solution.

A special aspect of the Thomas-Kilmann model is the fact that Thomas and Kilmann have created a self-
assessment instrument that provides results showing an individual’s preferred approach to resolving conflict.
This is an excellent, short, self-scoring instrument that offers many positive directions for developing
competencies in all five of the approaches. Project managers and other leaders in technical fields find this
assessment tool, coupled with a discussion of the results, to be valuable in both team building efforts (letting
others on the team see the conflict resolution approaches of their peers) or when project progress is “stuck”
due to unresolved or unexpressed conflict among team members.

In an effort to make these conflict resolution approaches and techniques more tangible and practical, listed
below are examples of questions that reflect the five different approaches.

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Examples of Statements Reflective of the Five Conflict Resolution

Approaches

Avoiding

• Yes, that' s a possibility…let' s think mor

e about that and talk again.
• I realize that' s an issue….what' s most important to talk about today?
• I hear you, I really hear you… (while nodding, making eye contact)

Compromising

• I need to have Bill work on this project. If Bill works on this project, what would you need from me in
order to cover your other responsibilities?
• OK, I can move up the completion date, but I' ll need you to alter the specifications or change the
level of resources I' m getting.
• We' re not getting anywhere in trying to change eachother' s mind. Can we meet somewhere in the
middle?

Accommodating

• That' s fine… we can do it your way on this.

• What can I do for you on this issue to make it not a problem any more?
• You' ve worked on this system a lot longer than I have. Let' s do it your wa
y.

Competing

• Bill, I realize that you want to do it your way, but I can' t OK that change. We' ll have to keep
proceeding along our current path.
• (Increasing the intensity to make the point) Bill, you don' t seem to be hearing me. We can' t change
directions, and we' re sticking to the original plan!
• (Using humor to defuse a possibly tense situation) Bill, when you' re the boss, sitting in this chair,
you can do it your way! Until then, we' re going to follow my plan .

Collaborating

• Sounds like we both have some good ideas. How can we integrate them together?
• I hadn' t thought of that point before, and I like it. How can we make it work with some of the other
ideas that I mentioned earlier?

As with the acquisition of almost all new behaviors (i.e. “people skills”), these five conflict resolution
techniques become part of our repertoire only when we practice them. Try practicing them in settings where
the conflict and its resolution are not that significant.

ABILITY TO MEDIATE AND MANAGE PROFESSIONAL AND PERSONAL DISTRESS

Project management in the world of technology is a stressful role. Matrix management paradigms create
ambiguous situations where the old description of "having the responsibility without the authority" is valid.
Also, the problems encountered are often unique and singular, hence the experience of often starting from
scratch to invent a new solution or initiative. And finally, the pressure to meet the triple constraint can easily
create the psychological experience of "I can' t win!"

These attributes of project work create demands on one' s emotional, physical, and intellectual resources
(Interestingly, research on intellectual and cognitive functioning under stress documents a significant
decrease-temporary, thankfully- in the level of intellectual functioning when one operates under prolonged
periods of stress.) Project managers are often left to manage their stress through their own devices. Many
project managers, during training that I have conducted, talk about the loneliness of their position, where
they interact with numerous stakeholders, often without their own individual support system.

We all know the obvious approaches to managing stress. Get plenty of exercise and sleep, stay away from
“bad” substances and food, spend time with friends and family, etc. Unfortunately, knowledge of the obvious

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approaches does not necessarily prompt us to use these tools. And sometimes even when we use the
approaches, we find that they are not sufficient to do the job.

Consequently, the following more subtle approaches to managing distress are offered for your
consideration. These approaches represent general schools thought (and research) on effective tools that
one can apply. As you read through the descriptions, you are encouraged to experiment at some time with
all of them. Then, determine the ones that work best for you and insert them into your life.

POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY

Positive psychology is a system of approaching stress, and wellness, from the perspective of looking to find
some positive aspect within the overall stressful situation. This approach believes that if you can find a
positive component within the stressful situation, you can embrace that component, work with it, and gain
something from your efforts. This is a more formalized version of "every cloud has a silver lining."
Examples of positive psychology include:

• The elderly woman, who, during her husband' s serious illness, finds that the "positive" component is her
working on developing her autonomy and independence (which she never had to any degree in over 45
years of marriage).

• The project manager, struggling with a very angry stakeholder, finds this challenging relationship as an
opportunity to work on her developing more effective conflict resolution skills.

RESILIENCE

This approach to stress management is grounded in the idea that in order to handle stress in our lives, we
need to have previously created systems/people/approaches that are a positive, nurturing influence on us
and our lives. This school of thought suggests that if we create such supports ahead of time, we will be able
to bounce back (be "resilient") when we encounter a stressful period.

Examples of resilience as a stress management approach include:

• The project manager who, having accepted a position in a new, distant city, joins the local PMI chapter,
hoping that this new network of peers will provide some form of support should he encounter stressful
situations in the new position.

• Elizabeth, was a project manager who was assigned to manage a project team consisting of
complainers, blamers, and beginners. Having two months lead time before the project started, Elizabeth
chose to begin an exercise program, believing that her being in good shape would give her the stamina
(or "resilience") to bounce back from the stress challenges she might face with this new team.

COGNITIVE-BEHAVIORAL APPROACHES

The cognitive-behavioral school of psychology believes that our thoughts, or "cognitions," play a big role in
determining our emotions and our behavior. Cognitions are those thoughts and internal dialogues that play
over and over in our heads, often appearing as a background accompaniment as we go about our day.

An example of this internal, often negative thought process would be the following statement:

"I' ll never ge
t along with this team member; he' s always been disruptive on every team he' s been on!"

The cognitive-behavioral approach suggests that we actively try crafting a new cognition, something that is
more positive but is still realistic. The belief is that a more positive cognition sets off a more positive chain
reaction of physiological processes and emotions that enable us to more productively manage stress.

Using the cognition above as an example, a more positive, self-crafted cognition would be something like
the following: "Yes, he' s been a problem on previous teams, but maybe there' s something I can do with him
to impact his attitude. Maybe there' s a project task that he has not done before that I could offer him; he
might enjoy the new challenge."

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INVOLVEMENT IN “FLOW” ACTIVITIES

The concept of "flow" was discussed earlier in the section on motivation. To review briefly, flow activities are
those special activities that we can find in life where we tend to "lose ourselves" when we are involved in
them. We lose a sense of time, we drop any awareness of self-consciousness, and we have adequate skill
for the demands of the task. Each person' s list of flow activities is different, and examples can include:

• Playing a musical instrument

• Exercising
• Reading
• Touring a museum
• Working on a craft or an art form
• Hiking in the woods
• ?

When engaged in a flow activity, our obsessive thinking about our stressful event reduces, our physiological
processes shift (blood pressure may lower, etc.), and our subjective optimism about "life being worth it, after
all!" usually increases.

WRITING ABOUT THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS IN A JOURNAL

Journal writing has been found to be very helpful in reducing stress. Honestly putting our thoughts on paper,
in a direct, unvarnished manner, helps us externalize the thoughts and feelings associated with the stressful
situation. This process often leaves us feeling less emotionally burdened by the stressful event . Also, as
these emotions leave us, we are able to think more clearly about options and steps that we can take to
address the problem.

When using a journal, write about what is going on with you right now, and let the thoughts and feelings
emerge. You are not writing a composition; you are merely putting on paper whatever thought or feeling
surfaces. Here is an example:

"As I sit here on the couch starting to write, I can feel the knot in my stomach. I bet it' s related to that Fred
that I' ve got on my team. When he says those critical things in a meeting, I feel like screaming! dI' like to
say: Fred, you are such a………………………. and a………………...! And now that reminds me of when I
ran into him last year, before we were working together. I always felt so anxious around him…"

The goal is to just capture whatever thought, emotion, memory or dialogue that comes to you. Write it for
yourself. It does not need to make sense, nor have a theme to it. If you are concerned with confidentiality,
tear it up after you write it. There' s no particular need for you to keep it, unless you find value in th
at for
yourself. Another suggestion: In today' s world of email and files, it' s probably more effective (and safer!) if
you do not do it on the keyboard.

COMPETENCY IN SIX ACTIVE CAREER MANAGEMENT SKILLS

Since 1986, I have been a consulting psychologist with DBM (www.dbm.com) , a global leader in the
provision of career transition services. In this capacity, I have conducted thousands of career assessments
with individuals ranging from mid level managers to chief executive officers. Through these individual
consulting meetings, I have come away with a number of key learnings about successful career
management during this period of change noted for distributed work teams, independent agents gathering
as needed to form project teams to complete distinct pieces of work, and continual corporate downsizing
and outsourcing.

The six key learnings can be expressed on both philosophical levels and on pragmatic levels.

IT’S YOUR CAREER

On a philosophical level, the following statement is gaining increasing utility:

The company owns the job; you own the career.

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This statement, in reality a professional code to live by, calls upon us all to become and remain proactive in
the promotion of our own career, regardless of how happy or content we are in our present situation. We
have all witnessed how unseen forces shatter career directions, with the recipient of the shattering often
caught off guard and unprepared for a career search. Expecting career positions to remain secure and
steady is foolish in today’s world, regardless of whether one works in the private sector or in the public
sector.

As mentioned earlier in this paper, Charles Grantham’s book, The Future of Work: The Promise of the New
Digital Work Society (2000), is an excellent guide to the issues of the shifting landscape of how work will be
conducted. It is a must read for any technology professional desiring to take active control over his or her
own professional destiny.

On more tactical levels, I have found the following five career management activities to be present when a
professional has had success in actively managing his or her career. There is much that can be written
about each area, but that is not the purpose of this paper. The purpose here will be to present the ideas and
to ask you, the reader, to take stock of how many of these activities are currently present in your
professional life:

KEEP AN ACTION ORIENTED RESUME ON HAND

One should always have a current resume on hand. Schedule fifteen minutes each month to add points to
your resume.

The resume itself needs to be action and achievement oriented. Tell the reader what you “achieved” as
compared to what you “did.” Too many resumes have phrases like “ lead a team of software engineers…”
A more impactful statement would be “ reduced delivery time of projects by 10% while hiring and deploying a
virtual team of software engineers…” The goal is to add punch to your message. Achievements and
accomplishments tell the story.

ESTABLISH AND NOURISH A PROFESSIONAL NETWORK

I have found that most professionals hate the word “networking.” Few people claim to be good at it or to
enjoy it, although most acknowledge its importance. If you feel a stigma associated with the word
“networking,” then come up with another word that feels more comfortable and get started. One project
manager in the software industry told me that she refers to her network as “that bunch of people I know in
my industry that I try to find some reason to stay in touch with.” For this professional, her reframing of the
term let her get involved with the process without feeling the negative self statements that surfaced when
she said the word “networking” (“I’m no good at working a room and I can’t make small talk that well,” etc.).

HAVE SOME FUN WITH INFORMATIONAL INTERVIEWS

Informational interviews are those less formal interviews with people that give you a chance to find out what
is happening at other companies or in other industries. These types of meetings, often just thirty minutes
long, keep you stimulated about what is going on, suggest possible future directions for you, and assist you
in building your roster of professional contacts. Schedule these meetings periodically even when you are
content in your current position.

QUALIFY YOUR REFERENCES

One of the biggest mistakes I have seen when professionals are interviewing for a job is that they do not
qualify their references. Qualifying one’s references involves the following: Before you give an interviewer a
list of your references, YOU should first call the references and tell them what you are applying for, how you
think you can make a contribution in the new job, and remind them of some of your key strengths that they
might want to mention. All too often, professionals allow their references to go into hibernation, the result
being less than a focused recommendation when you really need one.

BE “CHEMISTRY” FOCUSED

The higher one goes in an organization, the more that the chemistry between you and the potential hiring
manager and the chemistry between you are your peers will determine your success. Chemistry cannot be
created between people, but it can be enhanced if you are competent and artful in using the people skills
presented in this paper (especially when using the interpersonal communication techniques presented at the
start of this paper). Remember, there are lots of people in the world of work who are as smart as you and

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have as many skills. What can differentiate you from the masses is your competency in the people skills
aspects of working.

CONCLUSIONS

People skills involve the abilities to communicate effectively on interpersonal levels, wear different
leadership hats, apply a system that identifies individual differences, motivate individuals and teams,
productively manage conflict, manage and mediate personal and professional stress, and become active in
ongoing career management.

While these skills and perspectives can be presented and learned to certain degrees in intellectual, didactic
settings such as a reading of this paper, they are best learned in experiential settings where one can
practice the skills in real time. These experiential settings can include a range of informal or formal venues,
such as casual social settings, workshops, or executive coaching.

The way work in the technology world is completed is changing rapidly, with the expansion of virtual teams,
the influence of cross cultural factors, and the realignment of models depicting how work is completed within
organizational settings.

No longer can technical professionals assume that they can succeed with just their technical skills (if they
ever could). The successful technology professional of today and tomorrow owns a meld of people skills and
technical skills. Author and thought leader Tom Peters (2004) captures this point well when he states:

“These days, it’s the people skills that matter and will increasingly determine an organization’s success.”

Don’t wait for others to help you develop your people skills. Take the responsibility for this, and begin today
by taking small steps in that direction.

REFERENCES

Bugental, James F.T. (1990), Intimate Journeys: Stories from Life-Changing Psychotherapy, San Francisco:
Jossey-Bass.

Csikszentmihali, Mihaly (1996), Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention, New York:
Harper Perennial.

Flannes, Steven W., and Butler, Larry. A two-day workshop conducted in London, England for the Project
Management Institute (PMI), September 2003.

Flannes, Steven W., and Levin, Ginger (2001), People Skills for Project Managers, Vienna, VA:
Management Concepts.

Grantham, Charles (2000), The Future of Work: The Promise of the New Digital Work Society, New York:
McGraw Hill.

Hammer, Allen L. (1997) “Career Management and Counseling” in MBTI Applications: A Decade of
Research on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Allen L. Hammer, Ed. Palo Alto, Calif.: Consulting
Psychologist Press.

Hirsch, Sandra Krebs, and Kummerow, Jean M. (1990), Introduction to Type in Organizations, Palo Alto,
Calif.: Consulting Psychologists Press.

Jung, C.G. (1971), Psychological Types, Princeton, N.J.: Princeton University Press.

Peters, Tom (January, 2004), “Nix the Spreadsheet,” in PM Network, Project Management Institute, Newton
Square, PA 19073-3299 USA.

Project Management Institute (PMI), Four Campus Boulevard, Newton Square, PA 19073-3299 USA,
(www.pmi.org) .

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Thomas, Kenneth W., and Kilmann, Ralph H, (2004) The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, Palo
Alto: CPP-DB.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Larry Butler, M.A. ([email protected]) has been very instrumental in sharpening and expanding upon many
of the ideas in this paper, through his innovative focus during workshops on articulating a belief system
about viewing people, through his focus on individual differences, and through his contributions during
training sessions that reflect his experience as the senior corporate human resources officer. Ginger Levin,
D.P.A. has been a stimulating partner in the creation of People Skills for Project Managers (currently being
re-written as a second edition.) Charles Grantham, Ph.D., through his books and personal conversation, has
stimulated an appreciation for the epic sea changes in the ways work will be conducted. And the writing and
training presented by James F.T. Bugental, Ph.D., has been immensely valuable, personally and
professionally, in encouraging a willingness to embrace the subject aspects of experience.

CONTACT INFORMATION

Steven Flannes, Ph.D.

Principal, Flannes Associates
2080 Mountain Blvd., Suite 205
Oakland, CA USA 94611
510/339-7095
[email protected]
www.flannesassociates.com

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