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Affective small stories – Witnessing an ‘ideal’ instance of knowledge
mobilization
Article in Emotion, Space and Society · May 2019
DOI: 10.1016/j.emospa.2019.100579
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Contents lists available at ScienceDirect
Emotion, Space and Society
journal homepage: www.elsevier.com/locate/emospa
Affective small stories – Witnessing an ‘ideal’ instance of knowledge
mobilization
Kathleen A. Hare
Department of Language and Literacy Education, University of British Columbia 6445, University Boulevard, Room 2013, Vancouver, BC, V6T 1Z2, Canada
ARTICLEINFO
ABSTRACT
Keywords:
In this short reflective intervention, I utilize an innovative narrative format to document my account of being an
Critical witnessing
Knowledge mobilization invited academic witness for the Canadian House of Commons as a graduate student. Drawing upon layered
Narrative inquiry forms of critical witnessing, I utilize five small stories to consider this seemingly ideal instance of sexual health
Small stories knowledge mobilization that spanned academic, government, media, and social-profit sectors. I braid complex,
Affect messy threads to capture my affective wayfinding through the complicated institutional processes involved in
the generation, representation, critique and control of sexual knowledge. Highlighting how this work can be
more broadly applicable to graduate students and emerging scholars in related disciplines, I note how my critical
witnessing is intertwined with social, economic and political conditions present in Canada and elsewhere. This
work additionally illustrates experimental self-inquiry that disrupts distinctions between researcher/subject/seer
and participant/object/seen.
1. Backstory I, along with my Masters’ supervisor, had been invited to attend
the first of four meetings being held by the Standing Committee to
It is March 23, 2017. I am on an airplane, flying back to Vancouver, carry out its examination. My supervisor and I were initially asked to
British Columbia from a cross-country trip to Ottawa, Ontario, share one of three panel slots for the meeting. However, after a
Canada. I am returning from serving as an invited academic witness cancellation, we were each provided a full slot—in which I had
for the Canadian House of Commons’ Standing Committee on Health. addressed the publica- tions and she had provided expertise on the
Stemming from a private member motion passed in the House of topic of pornography as a public health issue. We had been joined by a
Commons, the Standing Committee has initiated an examination of professor from an American university, whose scholarship investigates
“the public health effects of the ease of access and viewing of online pornography from a social harm perspective. I was told that the three
violent and degrading sexually explicit material on children, women, different political parties comprising the Committee had “alternated
and men, recognizing and respecting the provincial and territorial choices of wit- nesses,” which perhaps explained the composition of
jurisdictions in this regard” (Standing Committee on Health, 2017). the panel.
Staring out the window, I am still in a state of suspended aston- As I sit on the plane heading home, I am aware that as a current
ishment. Not only was attending the committee meeting probably doctoral student, I will soon provide a different form of testimony
going to remain one of the most significant events of my professional within my current Department, and perhaps elsewhere. This was,
career, but I had been given this opportunity as a graduate student. I afterall, a rare, seemingly ideal instance of (sexual health) knowledge
had been invited to explain the findings of two publications I had co- mobilization. I had followed prescribed steps: identify a gap in
authored out of my Masters' research (Hare, Gahagan, Jackson, & knowledge, conceive a project to fill the gap, complete said project,
Steenbeek, 2014, 2015). My research was a qualitative study that then present, publish and discuss the resulting findings … just like
explored what Cana- dian youth (ages 19–29) perceived to be the thousands of other scholars. But in my case, I was then invited to share
health influences of con- suming internet pornography, and the my research and academic opinions directly with federal politicians
opportunities therein for ad- vancing sexual health promotion. and staff members. I can understand why I have been asked by my
Differing from the risk- or violence- based perspective orienting the Department to not only describe my experience at Parliament, but to
Standing Committee's examination, I utilized a comprehensive sexual also reflect on the process that led to the invitation. I know the hope is
health education lens to consider siX categories of holistic sexual that I can sift out some salient nuggets to offer my fellow emerging
health. scholars … How did I become an academic witness, and what exactly did I
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.emospa.2019.100579
Received 13 December 2018; Received in revised form 6 May 2019; Accepted 13 May 2019
1755-4586/©2019ElsevierLtd.Allrightsreserved.
Pleasecitethisarticleas:Kathle
enA.Hare,Emotion,SpaceandSociety,https:/
/doi.org/1
06.1
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910975.1
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Emotion,SpaceandSocietyxxx(xxxx)xxxx
witness?
provide this account as a form of affective wayfinding through the
messy processes of academic knowledge translation in post-modernity
1.1. Witnessing
and late capitalism.
Although my account is proudly and humbly Canadian, I suggest
Many months and many attempts later, I wish I could offer a
it can also speak to readers from the Global North more generally, as it
simple, straight-forward reply to that prompt. It would be much
centers on social, economic and political processes that are not
easier. But even as I sat on that airplane first thinking about these
spatially confined within Canada's national borders. As Oliver (2015)
questions, it was obvious there isn't a single, mappable route with tidy
writes, affects “open up the circulation and flow of affective energy in
implications of knowledge mobilization that I can share.
all of our relationships” (p. 20) and therefore “witnessing is the heart of
In trying to delimit the bounds of what it meant to witness, it has
the cir- culation of energy that connects us, and obligates us, to each
become apparent that framing my work using a play-on ‘critical wit-
other.” (p. 20). To this end, I also highlight instances where my critical
nessing theory’ (Oliver, 2015) actually belies a much deeper con-
witnessing blurs the lines of researcher/seer/subject and
versation. I had instinctively understood there would be a stark foil
participant/seen/object, opening up possibilities for how readers may
between the popular construction of an instrumental, objective, and
re-author these small stories for their own purposes.
evidentiary-focused “academic witness” and the physicality of me be-
ing/being that witness. But as I struggled to identify key take-aways
2. Five small stories on knowledge mobilization
of my experience, I have come to realize what I need to try to capture is
far more than a set of pointed observations existing within my body,
2.1. Small story #4 (The title)
contextually sealed by the spatial bounds of institutions and govern-
ments (Watkins, 2011).
I have received a spectrum of reactions to my parliamentary pre-
Indeed, my journey to and from Parliament spanned seven years and
sentation. The reaction I find most noteworthy is the affective, eye-
numerous social/political/physical places that occurred across aca-
brows-raised, slightly higher pitched “ohhh!?!” It is normally followed
demic, government, media, and social-profit sectors. These places were
by a quick attempt by the reactor to seem more polite by querying
relative and temporary, formed through the interactions of my body,
about my work using positive framing. I think, however, all parties
its location, and its position (Watkins, 2011). These places were also
involved know we are actually addressing the underlying visceral re-
porous in that the affects they generated (i.e. raw moments, feelings,
sponse of “how was your Masters work possibly that special?” It is an
impressions, imprints and emotions (Zembylas, 2006)) were mobile
honest reaction. It is also a reaction that has helped me ask that ques-
and transferred via my occupying and experiencing body. As per
tion of myself.
Stoddard (2009), I therefore conceive of my critical witnessing as an
The answer that I give in this situation is twofold. 1) My project
affected, committed, active and ongoing practice enmeshed in
was well-supervised and I do think slightly ahead of the curve in
dynamic (and sometimes fleeting) temporal and spatial configurations.
terms of academic focus on Internet pornography and sexual health
My witnessing emerges from the connective, multiplicities of my
policy/ promotion, and 2) I resisted any and all advice about the (re)-
bodily forces and intensities that affectively tie these configurations
titling my work. Instead, both of my publication titles approach 20
together.
words, take 15 s to read, require a mid-point breath, and contain all 5
Attention to the affective moreover provides a frame for under-
of my key concepts. They are as obvious as a pop music song, and to
standing how the sum of my witnessing exceeds what I saw and
my mind, they are perfect. My titles allow someone doing even the
sensed. I take direction from Ahmed (2014) who argues that attending
most basic, surface-level search to find my work. This probably churns
to the emotional impact of oppressive structures can draw attention
the sto- machs of those who appreciate academic elegance; I know it
toward those very structures. In parallel, Oliver (2015) states that the
certainly frustrated a few parties along the way. But my inordinately
excess of critical witnessing lies in a commitment to extending its
precise titles make my work especially easy to find … and political
ethical and political entanglements. More than recognizing accounts
staff did.
and experi- ences (Oliver, 2015), acknowledging that the affective
possibilities of acts of witnessing can energize ethics and politics by
2.2. Small story #2 (The Parliament)
opening spaces for styles, modes of movements and relations, rather
than trying to gen- erate prescriptive sets of strategies and methods
(Zemblylas, 2006). What I can offer others out of my journey to After clearing security, I walk into the committee room and im-
Parliament thus exists in how I felt my way through the linkages, mediately realize that there are a number of Members of Parliament
liminalities, structures, and spaces of this instance of knowledge [MPs] already sitting in a square configuration, in front of
mobilization. microphones, with their personal staffers behind them on benches
lining the walls. I am seated at the rear end of the square, facing the
Standing Committee chair and a number of public servants providing
1.2. Capturing
translation and ad- ministration services. A large projector screen
shows the proceedings of the day. I am immediately intimidated
With this orientation in mind, I utilize here the narrative form of
thinking about how a transcript of every word I say during the next
‘small stories’ to account, in part, for what I witnessed. Aligning well
hours will soon be web-accessible in the public domain, in two
with the affected, partial, active practice of critical witnessing, small
languages.
stories are fragments, observations and short narrations that defy
I am seated next to my former Masters’ supervisor. I feel intensely
boundaries and temporal categorization (Georgakopoulou, 2016).
grateful she is there too, bolstering my own sense of legitimacy. Our
Small stories are particularly useful as they are meaningful both in-
backs are to the members of the media seated at a second table a
dividually and collectively, which can help capture events without a
couple of meters away, as well as the public gallery located behind the
set beginning, middle or end (Georgakopoulou, 2016). It is my hope
media table. I try to take comfort that the politicians are the ones who
that the affordance of small stories can, to an extent, enable my
are fully visible in the room. Relatedly, I am struck that the room has a
witnessing to confront academic discourses that invoke notions of
sur- prising low level of lighting.
‘truth’ or rely on over-simplification – idealized accounts that can be
Once we get started, each panelist gives our 10-min presentation; I
particularly enti- cing to graduate students and emerging scholars.
go first. Then there are the rounds of questions for appro Ximately an
Moving back and forward in time with each small story, I strive to
hour and a half. One ‘7-min per MP’ round and then two ‘5-min per
convey my experience in a meaningful and interpretable way. I weave
MP’ rounds. The different political parties in the room would have
related threads to articulate the fine-grained complexities I sensed in
been immediately obvious, if I had not already Googled everyone and
the generation, representation, critique, and control of knowledge. I
their affiliation. All the questions focus on different angles for
policy
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K.A. Hare
Emotion,SpaceandSocietyxxx(xxxx)xxxx
purposes. I very quickly realize I am in a room full of people acutely
the chorus while banging their heads up and down, “It's like rain on
aware of the power of time and who govern it to their own advantage.
your wedding day/It's a free ride when you've already paid/It's the good
I try to shadow my former supervisor as she acts as a paragon of
advice that you just didn't take/Who would've thought, it figures.” It is
argumentation strategy: she uses every question to further our shared
funny thing to witness. But to the point, the feeling of wry, over-
conversation, while not engaging with the unhelpful conversations in
flowing, twisted disappointment Alanis lyricizes in the song, is the
the room. It was very different than what I might have done on my
same feeling I am hoping to avoid.
own
At some stage, my project's value had gotten twisted up with my
– giving the most fulsome, ‘correct’ answer I could to all questions.
own value. It is what intensely motivated me to publish two
When I read the transcripts afterwards, I was thankful to have
articles out of a relatively small exploratory study, despite not
followed her lead.
being sure at that time I wanted to continue in academia. I had a
The end of the meeting feels chaotic. Some people rushing past me,
point to prove – that this project should have been seen as worth
some people coming up to ask a question and/or give me some
something from the start … that I was worth something.
advice. One MP reminds me, shaking my hand while simultaneously
I have let many of the negative feelings around that go, but I still
walking past me, to put the event on my resume.
It might just be the lighting, but standing there, I reflect on how need the project to remain what it eventually became … long before
some parts of academia and politics don't look that different to me. that email from Ottawa showed up on a random Tuesday … some-
Sustaining and advancing your own conversation over time, in the thing I was proud of.
proXimity of others having their own conversations related Small story #3d
tangentially to yours, while different others control your immediate My semi-regular direct searching of major media sites has resulted
reality. The restrictions of unspoken rules becoming obvious when in nothing. I conclude that no media story has been or is likely to be
you bump up against them with your words or being … I shake back released.
to attention when my former supervisor comes over to where I am,
smiles, and asks if I want to catch-up before my flight. I do. 2.5. Small story #5 (The unexpected/timing the cycle)
As I collect my bag, a young-ish media reporter in the room leans
over and quietly whispers to me that I had “done well.” I have held It is early summer 2018. I am working on my PhD proposal, en-
onto that. joying the momentum of finally landing on a dissertation project that
energizes me to read, write and think. In my ‘spare’ time, I am serving
2.3. Small story #1 (My reflection in cold water) on the Board of Directors on a rights-based, sexual health not-for-profit
Organization.
It is spring 2011. I am working at my side job of reception at a I am scanning the EXecutive Director's monthly report when I
chiropractic clinic. I had found out earlier that day my sex-positive notice that the Organization's Director of Education has been invited
pornography project wasn't getting any funding. I am on my own. The to pro- vide feedback on the development of the revised version of the
other projects submitted by my fellow Masters cohort students, on Canadian Guidelines for Sexual Health Education. I feel my eyebrows
school nutrition, ovarian cancer and childhood physical activity re- shoot up. In the Canadian context where health and education are
provincially mandated, The Guidelines are similar to federal policy or
spectively, all were. It is a Friday – my day to clean the public wash-
position on sex education. The last version of The Guidelines had been
room in the clinic. I am already bending down when I do the math to
discontinued by the previous government and was now extremely
determine that for every participant honorarium I will give out, I am
hard to access online.
going to have to work for 2.5 h.
Fingers finding a speed and deftness not experienced since the
moment I committed to my PhD program, I type in a quick Google
2.4.Small story #3 (The afterwards)
search. The top hit announces that the current federal government is
supporting an updated version of The Guidelines. I scroll up and down
Silence.
page, gathering the important points. The comments in my head seem
to outpace my conscious processing of what is salient: “Good. Good.
Small story #3a
Okay, there will be focus on updating the media literacies section, in-
The only news I have heard since the committee meeting is from
cluding discussion of digital media like pornography. Good.
the editor of a Parliament newspaper. She has informed me that I
Hopefully that section will not be taken-up using an overly narrow,
have to pay for a subscription to the newspaper in order to be able
risk-based perspective.”
to access the story detailing my witness testimony.
I sit for a moment. Quiet. I don't know for certain, but I am quite
Small story #3b
sure that launching a revised version of The Guidelines is the Standing
The twelve individual thank-you/networking emails I sent to the
Committee's response to the motion. I think this means that I con-
MPs remain unanswered.
tributed knowledge to the production of a valuable resource for
Small story #3c
Canadians. I smile, look downwards and give a short exhale.
I make the decision to not seek out updates in the latest committee
Fingers moving again on my trackpad, I consider filling in the
meeting minutes. I justify this to myself as wanting to find out any
online feedback form inviting general public feedback for the new
news through standard media channels, just like other Canadians.
Guidelines. I decide not to. I have a PhD dissertation project to
If I am being honest with myself though, I know my decision is also
complete, including my now immediate task of combining alliteration
because I am not sure I want to know what the Standing
with several of my keywords for a pretty nifty title.
Committee said in relation to my specific work. It is hard to
articulate why, but I think what captures it best is Canadian
2.5.1. Small story #3E
musician Alanis Morissette (1995) and her iconic song Ironic.
I am revising this manuscript when I realize that I need to find and
While the layered and contested ironic gloriousness of the song is
access the Standing Committee's report on the examination to be
too expansive to explain here, when the song starts playing, nu-
able to better contextualize myself and my work. I grit my teeth,
merous people (including me) who were teenagers in Canada during
tell myself to toughen up, and stop supporting a range of
the 1990s will immediately whisper along with the opening lyrics
stereotypes about fragility, born privilege, and millennials.
“An old man turned ninety-eight/He won the lottery and died the next
day/It's a black fly in your Chardonnay/It's a death row pardon 2 min I find the Final Report (Standing Committee on Health, 2017) online,
too late/Isn't it ironic, don't you think” and then proceed to shout-sing
3
K.A. Hare
Emotion,SpaceandSocietyxxx(xxxx)xxxx
open it and start reading. The first witness I see cited is me. I im-
vigorous body movements). I decide to Google the lyrics of the
mediately hit the x tab to close the report. My hands are up, cov-
song to avoid the critical error of reporting them inaccurately. I
ering my mouth. Still working through that fragility.
reach the end of the song and read the last 2.5-line refrain that I
Reassuring myself, I go back into the document and keep reading. always forget exists: Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on
This time, I make it past the first citation where the Committee is you/And life has a funny way of helping you out/ Helping you out.
using my witness testimony about the challenges of defining “vio-
… Sometimes. Ideally.
lent pornography” to introduce and set the trajectory of the report.
I quickly realize that I am actually fairly heavily cited throughout.
It makes sense then to find myself agreeing the Final Report's re- Funding
commendations and decision to procedurally table the matter. I am
similarly pleased to confirm that The Guidelines were updated as a This research did not receive any specific grant from funding
result of the examination. I finish reading with a vigorous nod and agencies in the public, commercial, or not-for-profit sectors.
the thought that I had been uneasy for no reason.
Acknowledgements
Oh Wait. I realize there is also a Dissenting Report (2017) from the
political party that brought forward the motion in the first place.
Many thanks to the reviewer and editorial team at Emotion, Space
My heart starts vibrating, the way it does when your body knows
and Society for providing theoretical guidance and helping further
before your brain that something unpleasant is imminent. […]
develop this piece. Thank you as well to Yaseen Mottiar, Amber
Yes, there. On the first page. Me, personally being delegitimized in Moore and Carrie Hamilton McKenna for reading various versions of this
the Dissenting Report (2017)– “The final report of [The Standing] work and providing feedback.
Committee relies heavily on the testimony of two witnesses … and
the other whose research consisted of interviewing only 12 in- References
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Canada, 2017, p.1). Ahmed, S., 2014. Selfcare as Warfare. Retrieved from: http://feministkilljoys.com/
2014/08/25/selfcare-as-warfare/.
[ApproXimately .5 of a second passes] Conservative Party of Canada, 2017. Health standing committee dissenting report. In:
House of Commons Canada (42nd Parliament, 1st Session, Committee Report 11),
Me: “Well okay, sure, point taken … but I did a lot more work than Accessed online at: http://www.ourcommons.ca/DocumentViewer/en/42-1/HESA/
report-11/page-78.
simply interviewing 12 people to make it into that meeting. Also, Georgakopoulou, A., 2016. Small stories research: a narrative paradigm for the analysis of
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Hare, K.A., Gahagan, J., Jackson, L., Steenbeek, A., 2014. Perspectives on “pornography”:
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counter-perspectives to mine offered during the examination.” holistic sexual Health. Can. J. Hum. Sex. 23 (3), 148–158.
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DocumentViewer/en/42-1/HESA/report-11.
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2.5.2. Small story #3F
Zembylas, M., 2006. Witnessing in the classroom: the ethics and politics of affect. Educ.
2019. Still revising my manuscript. I have just finished watching the Theor. 56 (3), 305–324.
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