"BLISS" 11.
10/5/23
PIPER
Bilgi ve disiplinle...
KING
Faye--
FAYE
Piper! Away from the window!
PIPER
I’m multitasking!
FAYE
Piper.
KING
Japanese!
Piper closes the telescope and
crosses to Faye.
SISTERS
(suddenly in perfect unison)
Ohmé sama wa, Chishiki to chouyou ga aréba,
nandemo dekiru.
Piper shoots her hand up.
KING
Yes, Piper?
PIPER
May I return to the window?
Piper returns to the window.
KING
What is it today? Another rainbow? A solar
eclipse?
PIPER
If my calculations are correct-- which they are-
- tonight, there’s going to be a comet!
CARMELLA
A comet!
FAYE
Carmella, volume.
PIPER
It’s a once in a lifetime comet! This one will
interact with the earth’s atmosphere and
produce a meteor shower of energetically
charged particles glowing in spectacular
colors! One perfect thing in the universe!
"BLISS" 12.10/5/23
KING
Moving on--
CARMELLA
(dreamily)
Just imagine everyone out there stargazing! All
those people--
HOLLY
Animals too!
CARMELLA
All my friends. All my fans.
HOLLY
Billygoats, buzzards--
FAYE
You don’t have any fans, Carmella.
CARMELLA
I have many fans.
FAYE
You’re locked in a tower.
CARMELLA
Future fans, Faye.
HOLLY
Raccoons! A whole smack of ‘em!
KING
The answer is no.
PIPER
Faye...?
KING
Piper, what’s gotten into you?
FAYE
I’d look after everyone. It would be just this
once!
CARMELLA
Please?
HOLLY
Please?
PIPER
Please!
"BLISS" 13.10/5/23
KING
End of discussion.
PIPER
But Papa, what if we finish our homework by
sundown?
KING
Faye?
FAYE
He said no.
PIPER
Okay then, by sundown, we’ll do a year’s worth
of studies! Perfectly!
KING
Perfectly?
PIPER
Perfectly.
KING
Fair enough.
The King unspools a scroll of the
year’s curriculum: it is an
endlessly long list of
assignments. BUZZ KILL.
HOLLY
Whoa, Nellie.
FAYE
(at the bottom of the scroll)
We haven’t even started Swedish.
3.INSIDE THESE CASTLE WALLS REPRISE 1
He exits, closing the door. SLAM.
KING
Safe and sound.
HOLLY
A YEAR’S WORTH OF STUDIES IN A DAY
CARMELLA
THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!
FAYE
NO WAY!
"BLISS" 14.10/5/23
PIPER
WE CAN’T LET THE COMET PASS US BY
THIS IS OUR CHANCE!
PIPER, HOLLY, & CARMELLA
WE’VE GOT TO TRY!
Piper hugs Faye. The Sisters leap
to work. A dreamlike flurry of a
semester’s worth of work in one
day. Images appear a la the pages
of Da Vinci’s notebooks-- essays
in many languages, musical
compositions, maps, complicated
mathematical equations, botanical
diagrams, the periodic table, a
cure for a rare disease.
SCENE 4
THE KINGDOM OF MINISCULIA: THE PRINCESSES’ BEDROOM - EARLY
EVENING
The Sisters are disheveled. The
King listens attentively as Piper
reads from a scroll in perfect
Swedish.
PIPER
...Det är vårt moraliska krav att se till att
kopparrörsystem är obligatoriska i alla
kungadömen i hela landet. Och det är därför!
Koppar, koppar, koppar. Den enda möjliga
lösningen: koppar. (...It is our moral
imperative to ensure that copper piping systems
are mandated in all kingdoms throughout the
land. And that's why! Copper, copper, copper.
The only possible solution: copper.)
KING
Underbart!
(giving in)
Another assignment complete.
PIPER
Comet, here we come!
FAYE
Don’t celebrate yet.
KING
Next assignment.
"BLISS" 15.10/5/23
CARMELLA
I have reimagined the entirety of l'opéra de
Carmen, and I will perform it for you now.
Playing the titular role. And every other role.
Carmella sings.
KING
I am convinced. Pass.
CARMELLA
(to nobody)
No autographs, please.
KING
Faye?
FAYE
Physical education! I ran two full marathons!
In circles around my bed. Oh, and during the
final mile, I cured the bubonic plague.
KING
(reading the report)
Excellent.
PIPER
You did that!
KING
Pass.
Holly hands the King a thick,
loose pile of papers. He reads
quickly.
HOLLY
Full manuscript of a novel entitled “My Life as
a Muskrat.”
KING
Quite moving.
HOLLY
There are some quite sensual moments as well.
Chapter 8 gets fairly graphic.
FAYE
That’s a pass?
KING
Affirmative!
(nervously)
Which means--
