Marriage: The Sacrament of Love and Communion ALkiviapis C. CaLivAs My task isto providea backdrop for the ensuing discussion on the prob- Jems, challenges, and opportunities of intra-Christian and interreligious marriages by setting forth a summary reflection on the theology of mar- riage from the perspective of the Orthodox Church. The paper does not concem itself ina direct way with the theme of the Conference, nor does it touch upon the historical development of the sacrament of marriage. Several years ago Father Theodore Stylianopoulos wrote an excellent ‘and insightful study on the sacrament of marriage. He entitled the paper. “Toward a theology of marriage in the Orthodox Church.” The author's title, I believe, does not suggest the absence of a theology of marriage in the Orthodox Church. Indeed, in the past decades several Orthodox theo- logians from here and abroad have published important books and articles con the subject.? But it does point to the need fora more developed, system- "Theodore Stylianopodos, “Toward a Theology of Matage inthe Orthodox Church” Greek Orthodox Theological Review 22.3 (1977) 249-283. “Others who have writen onthe subject include: Stanley. Harakas, Living the Faith (Minneapolis, MN, 1992) 225-258; William Basil Zion, Eros and Transformation Sexuality and Marrage:The Eastern Orthodox Perspective (New York, 1992); the author dscusss a wide range of subjects related marriage, inlutingarietanalysisofthe literature on manage produced by modern Ortioox theologians Charalambids Yannaras, Evdokimov- and Lamper. John Chrysstvis “Love and Sexuality inthe Image of Divine Love” Greek Orthodox Theological Review 35.2 (1990) 101-112; and “The Sacrament of Marriage: an Orthodox Perspective.” Studia Liturgica 19.1 (1989) 17-27; Vigen Guroian, Incarnate Love: Esse in Ortiodox Ethie (Nowe Dame, IN, 1987) 79-14 the author is a pest ofthe Armenian Church on Meyendorf, Marriage; An Orthadex Perspective 247248 ‘The Greek Orthodox Theological Review: 40/3-4, 1995 atic, and comprehensive treatment of the subject: especially from the per spective of modern biblical, patristic, liturgical, ethical, canonical, and historical studies, with due consideration as well to those useful insights provided by the natural and social sciences on the nature of human person ality, sexuality, and behavior. * “The intent of this paper is to raise the vision of Christian marriage as it is understood, celebrated, and proclaimed by the Orthodox Church. The paper does not pretend to be complete in the treatment of this complex and Inultifaceted subject. It is divided into several sections. The introductory part deals withthe fundamental aspects of the vision of marriage and how that vision can be enfleshed by the couple. It also refers to the new identity the couple acquires through marriage. The subsequent sections delve deeper (Crestwood, NY, 1985). Paul Evdokimov, The Sacrament of Love (Crestwood, NY, 1985); this isthe English translation of the earlier French orginal Christos Yanna, ‘The Freedom of Morality (Crestwood, NY, 1984) 157-172. Olivier Clement, “Life in the Body” The Ecumenical Review 33.2 (1981) 128-146, Alexandros M. Stavropoulos, “The Understanding of Marriage in the Orthodox Church’ One fn Christ 15.1 (1979) 57-64, Stephanos Charalambidis, “Marriage in the Orthodox ‘Cluich’ One in Christ 15.3 (1979) 204-223. Demetrios J.Constantelos, Marriage, Sexuality, and Celibacy: A Greek Orthodox Perspective (Minneapolis, MN, 1975), Philip Sherrard, Christianity and Eros (London, 1976) and “The Sexual Relationship in Christian Thought” Studies in Comparative Religion 5:3 (1971) 151-172. Serge Verkhovosky, “Creation of Man and the Establishment of the Family in the Light of the Book of Genesis” St. Vladimir's Theological Quarterly 8.1 (1964) 5-30. George Khodre, “A Great Mystery: Reflections on the meaning of Marriage” St. Vladimir's Theological Quarterly 8.1 (1964) 31-37. Athenagoras ‘Kokkinakis Parents and Priests as Servanus of Redemption (New York, 1958).Nicon Patrinacos, “The Sacramental Character of Marriage," Greek Orthodox Theological Review2:1 (1935) 118-132. See also the articles in the special issue of St. Vladimir's, Theological Quarterly onthe themes of marriage and the family. John Chirban, ed, Marriage and the Family (Brookline, MA, 1983); Marriage: Documents of the Orthodox Church in America (Syosset, NY, 1980.) and Wornen and Men in the ‘Church (Syosset, NY, 1980). Also of interest are the following popular works, especially useful for catechetical instruction: George Nicozisin, Crowns of Honor ‘and Glory: Your Marriage in the Orthodox Church (St. Louis, MO. 1990). Stanley ‘S Harakas, Guidelines for Marriage in the Orthodox Church (Minneapolis, MN: 1979), Anthony Coniares. Getting Ready for Marriage in the Orthodox Church (Minneapolis. MN, 1972). Calivas: Marriage: Sacrament of Love and Communion 249 into the meaning of the vision. The discussion centers on three topics: the elemental conditions for and the essential characteristics of Christian mar- riage as well as its foundational qualities and purposes. A brief explanatory note may be helpful before we begin. ‘The vision of normative Orthodox marriage is lofty and may appear to the casual ob- server as an unattainable ideal and therefore discardable for its impracticality. Perhaps this would be true, at least partially, were it not for our faith that Christians are a new creation. They walk by the Spirit and are called to manifest the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 16.22). Marriage in the Lord cannot be viewed or undersiood apart from the new life in Christ. The nuptial union, like the whole of the Christian life, is placed into the realm ‘of grace, into that power which flows from God and his Kingdom. ‘The Christian life, whether it is lived in a single or married state, is a resurrectional life, The Christian chooses daily to break the sway of cul- ture, habit, and lifes addictions. In the midst of the snares and temptations of every day life. Christian persons seek to live in communion with every- thing that is good, noble, natural, and sinless, forming themselves by God's ‘Brace in the likeness of Christ (Phil 4: 4-8). ‘Thus marriage in the Lord is given as a vocation, a charisma, and a hope. The sacrament of marriage in the Orthodox Church celebrates these realities. It introduces the husband and wife to the virtues of marital life and calls them to enflesh the vision of the ideal, living out its implications day by day in mutual love with faith, patience, and godly fortitude. {Also in recent years a number of studies have been written by Orthodox theologians in Greece among which are some of the following texts: Eftbymios Svylios, “AvOowz0s: “Agoev nal Ovi (Athens, 1990): Nikos Bougats0s, ‘FI ‘000dd0En Geohoyia yid 16 Exoxd tos Tapov (Athens, 1989): Philotheos Faros and Stavros Kofinas, Téjuog (Athens, 1989) and Zvtvyia (Athens, 1987): also, P. Fos, Fovets xat ITaubué (Athens, 1989); Michael Kardamakis, Aydsmy xaiTduos (Athens, 1989); Georgios Mavromates, Té Mvatiiguov nijc'Aydays- ‘Tépos (Katerine, 1988); Georgios Patronos, Méyoc xai"Ayauia (Athens, 1985); and‘O I'éuog ott Ocodoyia xai avy Za (Athens, 1984); Panagiotes Boumes, Geadonon xai MeoPijuata tod Modccxod Péuyou (Athens, 1985); Megas L. Farantos, Aoyuarixd xai HOU I (Athens, 1983) 301-314; Chrestos Vantsos, (0 Mawog xai 1} Meoetoysaota Adrod (Athens, 1977); Georgios Vergotes, “H ‘Autrovgyte) Atdoraoy rod Mvotneiov tod Féyov," Tenydeus Madowac 70:5 (1985) 136-157; Savvas Agourides, “Aywyoaguxd Keieva xegi Tov,” “ExxAnoia 21-22 (1971) 401-403, 515-517, 648-649, 669-671.250 The Greek Orthodox Theological Review: 40/3-4, 1995 1. THE VISION OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE: [AVVOCATION, A CHARISMA, AND A HOPE Among the many icons depicting events in the life and ministry of our Lord Jesus Christ, there is one which portrays the wedding feast in Cana of Galilee. One arrangement of this icon depicts Christ, the Theotokos, the steward of the feast, another figure, and the bridegroom and bride who are seated at the banquet table bearing crowns on their heads.” Significantly, in this particular composition two figures dominate the icon, Christ, who is shown blessing the couple while looking at the Theotokos, and the bride who is dressed resplendently in a white garment. Based chiefly on the ‘nuptial imagery in the Book of Genesis and in the Letter to the Ephesians, this particular icon emphasizes the sacramental character of Christian mar- riage and highlights two if its essential elements. The first of these elements is that God himself is the creator of the con- jugal union. Marriage is willed by God. Hg is both the author and the | Celebrant of pure marriage.’ The icon depicts this truth through the figure ‘of Christ, shown blessing the couple. The second element is that marriage, sa loving relationship, is modeled after the unique reality of the loving relationship between Christ and his Church. The way of life and love of two people is sustained and perfected in their oneness with God’s love, \which is a self-offering, covenant love. The icon depicts this truth by cen- tering, attention on the eternal Bridegroom, Christ, and his bride, the Church. ‘The nuptial bond is a divine gift. It was ordained by God in Paradise and exists to bring two people into full communion as they achieve full- ness of being in God (Gen 2:18-21). Marriage brings us before the mysterious union of the human monad (Gen 5:1). The human being is a conjugal being (Mk 10: 7-9), ‘The Fall, which brought corruption and disfigurement to human nature, ‘obscured the archetypal vision of the man-woman relationship. Sin infects This depiction is a fourteenth century wall painting inthe St. Nicholas Orfanos ‘Church in Thessaloniki and can be found in M. Acheimastou-Potamianou, Greek Art: Byzantine Wall Paintings (Athens, 1994) 162-163 and 248. For a brief description of the traditional icon of the Marriage at Cana see, Photios Kontoglou, “Expoaats tis '0080ddEoU Elxovoyoapias (Athens, 1960) 160. “This basic principle based on the creation narratives is reflected inthe prayers of the marrage rite. For example. the second prayer of the Service of Crowning reads as follows: “Blessed are You, Lord our God, the celebrant (‘egoveydc - ‘minister) of the mystical and pure marriage and the ordainer of the bodily [bond], the guardian of incon uption and the good provider of daily needs.” See also Georgios Patronos, 'O Péwos ov} @eoloyia wad ov Zar, 21-29 Calivas: Marriage: Sacrament of Love and Communicy 251 the human person and as a consequence the quality of love and freedom in the nuptial community is compromised. The marital union is impaired and familial relationships become subject to temptations and distortions, Christ, having redeemed humanity from the curse of sin and death, in- vites all people to appropriate for themselves the fruits of his cross and resurrection through his mystical body, the Church. All that he did once and for all for the salvation of the world has now passed over into the sacraments of the Church. The sacraments manifest the radical renewal and transfiguration of human nature and life. They allow persons to be- come partakers of divine lifevand perfection. Through them the powers of the Kingdom are made manifest and ‘new life enters the human person as areal presence and gift, not as an obligation or magic."5 Marriage, like the whole of the Christian life is formed sacramentally. ‘The sacrament of marriage celebrates both the restoration of the conjugal ‘union to its original order as well as its integration again into the realm of grace. The sacrament reveals to the couple the dynamic dimensions of ‘mutuality, the loveliness of human sexuality, and the nobleness of procre- ation. Always in union with God, the husband and wife are graced to act together to heal and overcome the impotence of impaired masculinity and femininity, and thus rediscover and fulfill the original wholeness and com: ‘munion of nuptial life.* ‘A marriage of faith is anchored in the sanctifying grace of the Incarna- tion, In such a marriage two unique and fragile persons, a man and a woman, are called to enter into the mystery of unlimited love and cate in order to deepen in knowledge of each other and to become instruments of salvation and deification, Marriage derives its essential character from baptism and the Eucharist. Thus itis intimately related to the faith community and it receives its identity from its orientation towards the Kingdom of God. Marriage's primary context, therefore, is ecclesial. The couple becomes one body in a mystery of unity that has no fuller expression than that of the Church and the sacrament of the Eucharist.” * John Chryssavgis, “The Sacrament of Marriage: an Orthodox Perspective” Studia Liturgica 19:1 (1989) 17. ° Stephanos Charalambidi 13:3 (1979) 206. ”M, Francis Mannion, “The Four Elements of Love,” Liturgy 4:2 (1984) 20. John Meyendorff, Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective, 22-26. M. Kardamakis, ‘Ayézny xai Féyoc, 97-104, "Marriage in the Orthodox Church,” One in Chist252 ‘The Greek Orthodox Theological Review: 40/3-4, 1995 Itis not without significance, therefore, that the Eucharist, a least through the ninth century, was the locus of the Church's rites of marriage. In the carly Church, marriages of Christians were accomplished in accordance ‘with the rites of their society. These marriages were then transformed into ‘a sacrament of the Kingdom wheh the couple received holy Communion with the blessing of the clergy in the presence of the entire community of the faithful at the eucharistic assembly. The nucleus of the rites of matri- ‘mony known to us today were developed by the fourth century. "A Christian marriage which is celebrated and lived in faith becomes ‘more than biological fact and more than a social custom or a legal institu- tion, The sacrament consecrates the union of two persons into a single substance, making them into a living icon of God and a prophetic image of his Kingdom. United in the love of God, the nuptial community is called to become a little Kingdom, a house of God, and a domestic Church.* “These positive foundational affirmations about Christian marriage may seem to be an inapplicable utopian ideal, far from empirical reality. Yet, Cristian marriage can only be seen, understood, and lived from the per- spective of the new life in Christ. The sacrament of the Church embodies the ideal vision of Christian marriage and graces the couple with the po- tentialities to realize it. As the seed gives forth according to the ground into which it was planted, so the full effectiveness of sacramental nuptial life is made manifest to a greater or lesser degree by the faith commitment of the couple. ‘The rite of matrimony contains in precise and concise form the entire Orthodox teaching concerning marriage.’ The service of marriage currently in use by the Church consists of two separate, independent, and self-con- tained rites, that have been linked together for many centuries. These rites +See e.g. Paul Evdokimov, The Sacrament of Love, 118.G. Patronos,'O P05 on Ocohoyia xai ony} Za}, 39-49, "5. Chryssavgis, “The Sacrament of Marriage," 24. For a concise analysis ofthe » Orthodox rite of matrimony see. T. Stylianopoulos, “Toward a Theology of “Marriage,” 250-267 and P. Evdokimov. The Sacrament of Love, 148-159. See also, Patrick Visouso, “The Formation of Marriage in Late Byzantium,” St. Vladimir's ‘Theological Quarterly 35:4, 309-325. J. Meyendorff, Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective, 32-48, and “Christian Marriage in Byzantium: The Canonical and Liturgical Tradition, " Dumbarton Oaks Papers 44 (1990) 99-107 Alvian N. ‘Smirensky, “The Evolution of the Present Rite of Matrimony and Parallel Canonical Developments,” St. Vladimir's Theological Quarterly 6:1 (1964) 38-47. Calivas: Marriage: Sacrament of Love and Communion 253 reflect the basic two-stage process of the nuptial union, engagement and marriage and "symbolically surumarize the entie macried life:"” The first part of the rite is called the Service of the Betrothal or Engagement. The second, the rite of marriage proper, is referred to asthe service of Crown- ing, from the central characteristic ritual ofthe rte “The Church's nuptial service, through its prayers and ritual actions, r= veals the mystery of perfect love and communion in all its hidden dimensions and possiblities and cals the couple to accept this gift and to nurture it prayerfully with watchful attention, 1, LEARNING TO LOVE OR THE ENFLESHMENT OF THE VISION A Christian marriage has similarities to other marriages in its external form and structure. It is experienced, however, ina radically different way. Relationships, authority, and personal identity are experienced on a wholly other plane in tke context and spirit of the new life in the risen and reigning Christ. In loving and being loved, Christian spouses must be willing to enter daily into the life of Christ. It is here that they discover that “perfect love is love crucified,” as Paul Evdokimoy once noted." Sacrificial love requires of persons the will to die daily to the dreadful condition of our fallen nature: to pride, envy, deceit, wrath, insensitivity, selfishness, and every kind of sinful desire and self-delusion which dis- torts and, ultimately, destroys the human person. In marriage, according to Olivier Clement, Christian couples are called “to thrust aside the masks which are incorporated into our face, the neurotic personages which are ‘bound to our person, to tear away the dead skins, and in confidence and hhumility, in obedience o faith to Let the very life ofthe risen Christ emerge inus. " "°P, Evdokimov, The Sacrament of Love, 70. For an account ofthe development ofthe rte see, Panagiotes Trembelas, Muxgdy Evondywoy, 1 (Athens, 1950) 28 75. A. Stavrinou, 'H ‘legohoyia ro Fégov, (Constantinople, 1923). Kenneth Stevenson, Nuptial Blessing: A Study of Christian Marriage Rites (New York, 1983) 9-26, 97-104. Mark Searle and Kenneth W. Stevenson, Dacuments of the Marriage Liurgy (Collegeville, MN, 1992). ° 'P Evdokimoy, The Sacrament of Love, 155, Olivier Clement, “Life in the Body," The Ecumenical Review 33: 138 See also M.Rararali, Ayn aa og, 91-96 a254 The Greek Orthodox Theological Review: 40/3-4, 1995 Perfect love is not obvious. We can only leam it from God. For he, “in his Trinitarian openness, constitutes the secret source of love.” God him- self is love (1 John 4:8,16) and his love disclosed to us precedes, founds, and renews our love." “When tyo human persons love and are united in mage, they reflect Go himsel—and this love can never be exhausted psychologically, sociologically, medically, economically, or legally,” notes Father John Chryssavgis."? ; ‘The sacrament of marriage seals the love of two persons with the abid- ing, loving and sanctifying presence of Christ. With Christ at its beginning and end, “the dimension of love in human life contains the various ele- ments of eros (ascending, ecstatic love), charitas (compassionate love or sympathy), and agape (love as grace and self-sacrifice to the end).”"® By loving Christ, and through Him each other, the spouses come to know one another's distinct identity, complete one another in a dynamic way, and discover in each other God's image. Drawn to each other, and together to Him who is the source of all love, their eros is constantly trans- figured to unfailing love—into agape. Persons who marry inthe Lord come to appreciate God's commandment “to love your neighbor as yourself” (Mt 19:19) in the deepest possible levels of existence. A husband and wife become intimate lovers because they are first ofall, neighbor and friend to each other in the most unique and conclusive way. The couple's gift of self to each other sto come to love in a divine way, and this way of loving is unconditional. Such love invests the couple's whole being with the redeeming presence of Christ, who is Himself love incarnate. This graceful presence integrates and enriches the personal and sextal love of a husband and wife and enables them to reach ever-new and. ever deeper levels of communion, friendship, maturity, openness, and ho- lines ‘A marriage in the Lord is sustained by the Holy Spirit, who grants to the spouses such gifts as are necessary for them to live a godly life in peace, truth, harmony, and love."” This is not to say, however, that a Church mar- 0. Clement, 144 Ibid, 144 . "5. Chiyssavgis, “The Sacrament of Mariage,” 17. See also, G. Ptronos, 0 Téqos ox} @cohoyia nai or} Zar) 9) J. Chryssavgis, 17 See elt paper the Bota serie as wells fi prayer ad the prayer after the Gospel in the service of Crowning. Calivas: Marriage: Sacranent of Love and Communion 255 riage is free from problems, tempations, tensions, pain, and suffering. Rather, it means that, in the obedience of faith, spouses are open to the influence of the power of the Holy Spirit. He allows the life of the risen (Christ to rise up in them so that they may come to transcend ordinary life. Learning to live together requires patience, godly courage, and hum: ity. Couples have to leam to come to terms with their limitations and to negotiate and adjust the power structures in which they move and act, Love is more than warm feelings. It is an attitude and a disposition of illumi- nated self-giving. I is the way of enduring faithfulness and commitment to the mystery of perfect love, by which a husband and wife are led to renewed freedom, love, hope, and joy through their many estrangements and returns.!* ‘The quality of a marriage is conditioned by many factors, including the spiritual maturity, emotional stability, and physical health of the spouses. Family relationships, cultural habits, and financial worries also effect the ‘marriage. These and other distressful situations and uncertainties both in the home and at work can become disruptive and burdensome issues. When left unattended, such conditions can lead to serious problems and deficien- cies in the marriage, That is why spouses are obliged to be humble and patient with each other and to work ard at resolving their issues through the exercise of mutual trust forgiveness, tenderness, and kindliness. This ask, however, requires more than the good will of the spouses. Because human capacities and capabilities are easily depleted, spouses must learn to nurture their interior life through prayer, the sacraments of the Church, spiritual guidance and care, and works of genuine piety and charity. These things not only energize the person but lend themselves to the continuous renewal of the marital bond, For these reasons, the Church has incorporated into the rite of matri- ‘mony requests and petitions for the practical, every day things that contribute ‘o the growth, development, and well-being of the nuptial union and com. munity. Thus, the Church prays thatthe couple's “goings out and comings in” (Deut 28:6; Ps 121:8)—their activities and enterprises as well as their home relationships and quiet occupations—may be free of temptations, evils, and dangers. She prays for the peaceful life, the prosperity, the com. patibility, the longevity of the couple, the enjoyment of good children, and "See O. Clement, “Life in the Body,” 14.256 The Greek Orthodox Theological Review: 40/3-4, 1995 for a stable family life.” I, IN MARRIAGE BVERY PERSON ACQUIRES A NEW IDENTITY Personhood exists ultimately only in God, who freely shares this mode | of existence with humankind. Christ, who is the model and archetype of true human life (1 John 3:2: Col 3:10), its Alpha and Omega, its purpose ‘and destiny (Rev 21: 6), reveals to each man and woman the unfathomable depths of their personhood. This inner man/woman is not ours by nature: it is.a gift, bestowed by God upon everyone who comes into the world (John 1:9). Therefore, the ultimate truth about a human being, both as nature and 1s person, is to be found in his/her vocation to become a conscious per- sonal existence, ie., to exist as God Himself exists— relationally.” While sin brings decay and the disintegration of the human person, participation in the life of Christ restores and renews the inward man/woman day by | day. ‘Two baptized and communicating Christians who marry in the Lord ‘become one flesh. Their souls and bodies commingle without confusion "Petitions and prayers for the spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being of, the couple abound in the marriage rite. We read, for example, these petitions in the Betrothal Service: “That He will send down upon them perfect and peaceful love, ‘and assistance... That He will preserve them in oneness of mind and in steadfast faith... That He will preserve them in a blameless life. and) will grant them an honorable marriage and a bed undefiled... That He will deliver them and us from all affliction, wrath, danger, and distress, let us pray to the Lord.”” ‘We also read inthe prayers of the Service of Crowning such requests as: “Lord, bless this marriage and grant to these Your servants a peaceful life, length of days, chastity, mutual love in the bond of peace... the grace to bear children, the ‘unfading crown of glory. Fill their houses..with every good thing, that they may stare with those in need.” —"Bless their labor..that they, having sufficiency in all things, may abound in good works that are acceptable unto You.” “Lord our God...keep these Your servants in peace and concord...Cause their marriage to be honorabl...and their life spotless. Grant that they may live together in purity; and enable them to attain a ripe old age, walking in Your commandments with a pure heart.” —"Bless their goings out and their comings in Fill their life with good things." "May the...One Godhead and one Kingdom bless you: and grant you length of days, fair children, progress in life and faith: and fll you with all earthly good things, and make you worthy to enjoy the good things of the promise.” See, e.g., John D. Zizioulas, Being as Communion (Crestwood, NY, 1985) 15-65. Calivas: Marriage: Sacrament of Love and Communion 257, and change. Without ceasing to be male and female, they become one be- ing, a single substance. They acquire a new identity in their personal relationship of coinherence. They fulfill and complete each other in a way that was previously unknown to them while each was under parental au- thority (Matt 19: 4-5). Consciousness of self at new and previously unexperienced levels is now discovered and understood by each primacily through the mediation of the other. Their physical, spiritual, and personal unity becomes a dynamic and transforming event. Their personhood, in all its potentialities, is being realized day by day in their nuptial consubstantiality and in theif’oneness with God. ‘Thus, Christian marriage is more than the social and religious sanction of a biological fact. ‘Through a reciprocal relinquishment ofthe individual will and acceptance of the other's will, the unity of man and wife comes to be built not on the natural premise of the individual sexual impulse but on the premise of Ecclesial communion, which is self-transcendence and self- offering,” notes Christos Yannaras; and he adds, “Marriage draws its identity that not from the natural relationship, but from the relationship in the realm of the Kingdom.” Accordingly, Christian marriage can never be considered merely a pri- vate affair or an individual matter, It is an ecclesial event. Its the entrance of the couple into the gathered church, to share its life and values, forming all personal and familial life in the direction of the Kingdom of God. Thus, the marriage rte of the Orthodox Church places the couple within the acts of God in history. The spouses are called to enter into the mystery of salva- {ion history and to become, as well, servants of redemption and the faithful * See, e.g, Savvas Agourides, “Aywyoapund Kelueva xeoi Nigov, ‘The Christological, ecclesiological, and eschatological dimensions, extensions, and Perspectives of marriage are founded on the creation narratives in the Book of Genesis. Other important Scripture texts on marriage include the following: Song ‘of Songs; Tobit; Is. 54:1-8; Jer 3:6-13; Ez 16,23; Mal 2:10-16; Hos 1,25 Prov 31; Mk 10:1-12; Lk 16:18; 1 Cor 7:1-7, 11:7-11; Eph 5:21-33; Col 3:18-21; 1 Tim 214-15, 7 2Christos Yannaras, The Freedom of Morality, 162. the role of marriage at creation and throughout salvation history is mentioned inthe prayers of the rite. Inthe Betrothal Service, e.g, we read: “Eternal God, You have brought into unity those who were sundered and ordained for them an indissoluble bond of love. You blessed Isaac and Rebecca and made them heirs of ‘Your promise. Bless also these Your servants..." “Lord our God, who has espoused the Church as a pure virgin among the gentiles, bless this betrothal.258 The Greek Orthodox Theological Review: 40/3-4, 1995 witnesses to the work of God.” With this in mind, Alexandros Stavropoulos writes, ‘[the couple] enters into the whole history of married couples from j the creation of the first pair. They are identified to some degree with the patriarchal couples, and they share in the Lord's first miracle at Cana, They stand alongside all the martied couples of Church history and they are called to live out their own married history as a means of transfiguring their union into a new creation’ worthy to enter the Kingdom. ‘The anammetic character of the priestly prayers of the marriage rte with their recurring reference to Cana and to Old Testament couples and matri- ‘monial events is of particular interest and significance.** The anamnesis or remembrance of the mighty acts of God in history as revealed in the Scrip- God, who accompanied the servant of the patriarch Abratiam into Mesopotamia, ‘when sent to espouse a wife for his lord Isaac, and who, by means of drawing ‘water, dd reveal to him that he should betroth Rebecca...Por in the beginning You did make them male and female and by You the woman is joined unto the man as a helper and partner and for the procreation of the human race. Therefore, Lord our God who has sent forth your truth upon your inheritance, and your covenant unto your servants, our fathers, your elect from generation to generation: Look upon ‘your servants. and establish and make firm their betrothal..” The prayer continues ‘with a reference to Joseph, Daniel, Tamar, and Moses. In the service of Crowning we read e.g.: “O God most pure, maker of every creature, who did transform the rib of our forefather Adam into a woman because of your love toward humankind, and did bless them and say to them: Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; who did make of the to one flesh: ‘Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh, and what God has joined together, let no man put asunder... The prayer continues noting the Old Testament patriarchal couples al of whose offspring played a role in salvation history as well asthe parents of St John the Baptist and the forefathers of Mary the Theotokos. The second prayer of the rte also makes mention of Old and New Testament couples who were the! recipients of God's special blessings, including the patriarchal couples as well as Moses and Zipporah, Noah, Enoch, Shem, Elijah, Jonah, and the Three Children, Zechatiah and Elizabeth, and Joachim and Anna. Also mentioned are St. Helen and the Forty holy Martyrs (of Sevastia). This prayer too makes reference to the creation narrative and to the many blessings and riches of marriage, Alexandros M. Stavropoulos, “The Understanding of Marriage inthe Orthodox Church," 58. In the notes above we have noted the continued reference inthe prayers o Old and New Testament personalities. The prayers and petitions of the rite also make repeated mention of the Lord's presence at the wedding feast in Cana of Galilee. Calivas: Marriage: Sacrament of Love and Communion 259 tures and as they are related to a specific act of the Church constitutes a key element in all the sacramental rites of the Church.2* In the sacrament ‘of matrimony, as Father Stylianopoulos notes, “God is asked to bless the ‘marriage of every couple as he did that of Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Rachel, and many others down to Zachariah and Eliza- beth who gave birth to the Forerunner, Every marriage of persons who are in communion with God, even in the Old Testament, is saeramental in the essential sense of being a locus and vehicle of the holy presence of the living God.” |V. MUTUAL CONSENT AND OTHER ELEMENTAL CONDITIONS FOR MARRIAGE In accordance with the Orthodox Church's perspective, what is truly ‘new in Christian marriage is the possibility that the unity of husband and wife can be expanded and transfigured into a new reality—into the King- dom itself—through a kenotic(self-emptying) experience. Mattiage in the Lord cannot, therefore, be reduced to some form of utilitarianism or legal- ism. It is more than a contract serving utilitarian needs and ends and more ‘than a mutual attraction based on natural eroticism. Christian marriage is something unique, not because of any abstract law or moral ban, but that its very essence it is a mystery, a sacrament of the Kingdom, The strength of the nuptial bond, therefore, is not autonomous and self- explanatory. Its efficacy as an institution of Christian witness is possibie only in the context of the faith community. Through the marriage rite the ‘We read for example, * O God, our God, who did come to Cana of Galilee, and dit bess there the marriage feast: Bless also these your servants." Also, the Gospel pericope read at the marriage rite is the passage referring to the Wedding at Cana Gn 2: 1-41). *The anamnesis or remembrance is a constitutive part of every consecratory prayer. This is especially evident in the Anaphora, the great Eucharistic prayer of the Divine Liturgy. Itcan also be seen in the prayers ofthe other sacraments and cf other services of blessing. For example, the first prayer inthe rite of ordination of bishop reads, in pat, as follows: “Sovereign Lord, our God, who established by Your illustrious apostle Paul the hierarchy of ranks and:orders for the service of your venerable and pure mysteries at your holy altar first apostles, second prophet, third teachers - © Lord of all, strengthen by your advent, power, and grace of your Holy Spirit him who has been elected to undertake the yoke of the gospel and the hiigh-priestly dignity.." 277. Stylianopoulos, “Toward a Theology of Marriage," 270260 ‘The Greek Orthodox Theological Review: 40/3-4, 1995 bride and groom affirm their faith as well as their willingness to integrate themselves into the life of the Church, For this reason marriage in the Church is a fundamental condition; not because a Church wedding and ‘sanctions relationships but because it preserves, celebrates, and communi cates a particular vision and undérstanding of marriage. Through the rite of matrimony the bride and groom are gifted with and empowered by di- vine grace to begin their nuptial vocation and mission as servants of redemption. “Marriage requires a free response, even though the consent itself does not make the sacrament, and much less is able o dissolve it. Thus, the free ‘will consent of the partners is a constitutive element of the sacrament of ‘matrimony. ‘The decision to marry in the Lord is a highly personal one. It is to be arrived at prayerfully, in the counsel of one’s heart, The freedom to choose one’s own partner is restricted only by those canonical, legal, or moral impediments that would distort the purpose of the Christian marriage. While ‘mutual consent is an essential element of the sacrament, the privilege is not absolute. The freedom to choose is conditioned both by civil law as ‘well as by moral imperatives and canonical regulations. It is conceivable, therefore, that in the exercise of free choice one may compromise his oF her relationship with the Church and even forfeit one’s communion with her.” For the Church, the full significance of mutual consent is ultimately grounded in the couple's willingness to submit their decision and life \o 2 All Christians have been graced by their baptism and chrismation with the ‘vocation to become servants of redemption. Perhaps, in no other expression of the Chistian life is this calling realized more completely and more practically than in Christian parenthood and priesthood. For this reason Bishop Athenagoras ‘Kokkinakis entitled his study on marriage and the priesthood, Parents and Priests «as Servants of Redemption - An Interpretation of the Doctrines of the Eastern Orthodox Church on the Sacraments of Matrimony and Priesthood (New York, 1958) "> The quality of a marriage is conditioned by various determinants. Especially significant are the conditions that interreligious or intra-Christian marriages generate, These may affect seriously the orderly life ofthe nuptial community and! ‘ot the personal devotional and Eeclesial life of the spouses. Fath differences can treate degrees of disharmony and disunity among the couple and may lead to ‘confessional relativism or religious indifference. Calivas: Marriage: Sacrament of Love and Communion 261 Christ and to the spiritual care of His Church (ph 5:21), and to accept freely to abide inthe vision of marriage which draws its identity and strength from God and His Kingdom and not simply from their mutual promises and aspirations According to the present Greek practice, except forthe very presence of the couple, there is no other formal public declaration of consent in the marriage rite. There is evidence, however, in our liturgical tradition of such public affirmations by the bride and groom. The Russian Church, for ex- ample, and some other Orthodox Churches continue to use a public declaration of consent at the’Start of the Service of Crowning.” Every lo- cal Church should introduce the use of such affirmations, in order to highlight the significance of the consent and the commitment of the couple tothe purposes of Christian marriage. The declaration should contain three fundamental statements. First, that the couple enters the marriage of their ‘own free will; second that there are no canonical, legal, or moral impedi- ‘ments to the marriage; and third, that the couple pledges to uphold the purposes and the sanctity of the nuptial bond.”* ‘The Church has a special obligation to embrace the “ecumenical” family with Jove and concern. Orthodox spouses must be encouraged and their faith commitment strengthened, The non-Orthodox partners should be welcomed into the community of faith. As peripheral members of the Church, they should be treated with care. sensitivity, respect. and dignity as the spouses and parents of fellow members of the faith community ‘Nurturing family unity must be a serious pastoral concern of the Church. Clergy, therefore, are obliged to offer counsel and help couples deal with and overcome conflicts. For the use of dectarations of consent in the manuscript tradition see, Panagiotes ‘Trembelas, Mexodv EdizoAdywoy, 20. 22, 28-30. and 42. The declaration of the Slavonic textreads as follows; ‘Do you, (name), have a good, free, and unconstrained will and firm intention to take as your wife this woman, (name), whom you see before you? - I have, reverend father. Have you promised yourself to any other bride? “ Ihave not promised myself, reverend father.” The same questions are put to the bride as well. The following brief formula, .g., may be considered as an appropriate public declaration of consent. “Do you, (name), freely accept to take as your wife this ‘woman, (name), whom you see before you; do you declare also that there are no impediments to your marriage; and do you affirm your commitment to advance with her, by God's grace, in life and faith?—I do, reverend father:”—The same formula with the appropriate changes would be addressed to the bride.262 The Greek Orthodox Theological Review: 40/3-4, 1995 \. THE ESSENTIAL CHARACTERISTICS OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE ‘Marriage is established and constituted with the appropriate prayers and signs of the Church, since it is God Himself who is both its creator and celebrant. Through her canonically ordained bishops and/or presbyters, the Church, as the redeemed community, calls upon God to unite and sanc- tify the spouses and to help them prosper in life and faith.” The conjugal union thus established is founded upon and formed by three essential char- acteristics: the indissolubility of the nuptial bond, the equality ofthe spouses, and their monogamous relationship. ‘These three characteristics point to the original and essential unity of the human being as ordained by God. This unity, however, has been frag- mented and obscured by the Fall. Sinful desires and passions have thrown the original order and harmony of human relations into disarray. Christian marriage, by revealing the ultimate potentialities of love, unity, peace, fi- delity, and spiritual and physical concord, challenges Christian spouses to realize in their fragile and delicate union the original oneness of creation, Drawn to each other by love, the spouses bring to their marriage the gift of self with all its wonders and talents. They bring as well the inadequa- cies, limitations, and weaknesses of their fallen nature which they must learn to forgive and overcome time and again. Through an ever deepening process of interpersonal involvement and coinherence, which heightens the awareness of their distinctiveness as well as their mutuality and one- ness, the spouses render themselves open to the transforming and sanctifying power of unconditional love, In and by this love they come to know and realize for themselves the three fundamental characteristics of Christian marriage. A. The indissolubility of marriage Marital bonds are indissoluble. Christian marriage is understood to be a lifelong event, a dynamic unfolding, and loving relationship that unites two unrepeatable personalities into a single body. It is established as a covenant relationship between two persons who willingly accept both the challenge and the opportunity to be “subject to one another out of rever- ence for Christ” (Eph 5:21), See the selection of prayers and petitions of the marriage rite referred to above in notes 19 and 23, Calivas: Marriage: Sacrament of Love and Communion 263 The indissolubility of the marital bond is grounded essentially in the Christological and Trinitarian archetypes which constitute the bases for our understanding of the human being and of the conjugal union. Accord- ing to the Christological archetype, we are called to achieve the unity of the one and indivisible human nature. According to the Trinitarian arche- type, we are reminded of the personal and relational character of our human nature and of the vocation of male and female in union with each other and with God to achieve wholeness and perfection.” Indissolubility thus be- ‘comes a mark of unfailing love and commitment to the original purpose of creation, ~ Moreover, the indissolubility of the marital bond viewed in its Christological dimension reflects the unity of Christ and His Church, the model of the conjugal union. For this reason, Christian spouses conscien- tiously seek to transform their home into a domestic Church, ie., into a ‘community that bears the essential marks and characteristics of the Church ‘oneness, holiness, catholicity, and apostolicity.™ Succinetly put, this means that the nuptial community in its pilgrimage celebrates the mystery of unity in diversity. It experiences the sanctifying Presence of God in its very being and in all its activities, Its rooted firmly in the truths ofthe faith, experiences “the pleroma (fullness), the all, of the common life lived always, everywhere and by all married couples who have consecrated themselves to the living God’® and accomplishes its life and task in a conciliar mode.% Finally, the nuptial community strives to realize its vocation to bear witness to the Gospel in all areas of human life and endeavors. ‘The permanence of the nuptial bond, however, does not come automati- cally, Marriages can and do fail. Human brokenness together with its many "See Efthymios Stylios, “AvOga-no«: “Agacy wai @6, 54-70. *A, Stavropoulos, “The Understanding of Marriage in the Orthodox Church,” 59-60, A, Stavropoulos, 6 * The mode by which the Church conducts her afsrs is called conciliar or synodal. The synod system or mode of operation, exercised onal levels of Church life, aids in overcoming the dangers and limitations of autocracy, ochlocracy, individualism, and uniformness. The synodal mode constitutes a unity in which the parts both condition as well as complement each othe in a continuous process of sharing. It permit gifts to surface and bloom; and allows authority to be exercised