This book is intended for adult readers.

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Copyright © 2023 by Sophie Saint Thomas

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2022027562

ISBNs: 978-0-7624-8209-2 (hardcover), 978-0-7624-8210-8 (ebook)

E3-20230303-JV-NF-ORI
 Contents

Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgments

INTRODUCTION

BASIC WITCH
Eerily (and Frequently) Asked Questions
Wicked High Astrology
Tokes and Tarot
High Holidays
Moon Phases
Magical Herbs
Witchcraft and Activism

CANNABIS QUEEN
Assassin of Youth to Zig-Zags: A–Z Cannabis Terms Every Weed Witch Needs
to Know
Forbidden Fruit FAQs
Sativa, Indica, and Hybrids
All About the Endocannabinoid System
Methods of Intake
 STONED SPELLS FOR LOVE & SEX
Stoned Sex Magic
Erotic Mindfulness with Cannabis
Make Your Own Soothing Post-Sex Topical
Glamour Magic for First Dates
High Handfasting Ceremony
Magic Truth Serum
Scorpio Suppositories
Summon a Sex Goddess
Shake Off Your Kink Shame
Make Out with Mary Jane (Intimacy Spell)
Navigate Consent and Cannabis
Get Good at Head
Coming Out of the Closet Cannabliss Cleansing

STONED SPELLS FOR MONEY & WORK

A Tarot Spread to Find the Right Career Path for You
Moneymaker Marijuana Mask
Get Famous Using Psychic Powers
Pesto Chango: Infused Feast for Confidence
Bless Your Bong Water to Get Rich
Cannahoney Jar for Career Growth
Throw a 4/20 Taurus Season Abundance Party
Witch Better Have My Money
Career Cure-All Ginger Cake
Pot Potion for Quick Cash
Magic Money Dancing
Virgo Lessons for Future Cannabis Entrepreneurs
STONED SPELLS FOR PROTECTION & HEALING
Safer Sex Fire Cider
Summon Social Equity
Create Your Cannabis Coven
Smoke Screens
Charm an Ashtray (House Blessing)
Soak Away the Sads with a CBD Salt Bath
Stay off Social Media Insecurity Banishing Spell
Clean Away the Decay
Cannabis Cord-Cutting
Lucid Dreaming with Ancestors
Heal from Trauma with Your Familiar (Furry Friend!)
Banish Jealousy with Roses
Burn Away Burnout, Beautiful

CONCLUSION
Selected Sources and Further Reading

Discover More
This book is dedicated to Sarah Lyons, my coven sister, fellow
witch writer, and activist.
Explore book giveaways, sneak peeks, deals, and more.

Tap here to learn more.

 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

This book is also dedicated to cannabis (obviously). Thank you for being there
in sickness and health, joy and despair, and for the best medicine I ever met.
Thank you to my dear agent and fellow Scorpio, Eric Smith, and all of P.S.
Literary. Much love to my editor Shannon Kelly and everyone at Running Press
and Hachette Book Group for putting this vision together with me. I couldn’t
have done this without my man, Dr. Chad Johnson, my best friends, my familiar
Major Tom Cat, my family, and my two homes: New York City and the U.S.
Virgin Islands.
 INTRODUCTION

Strangely, I wasn’t high during my first Black Mass, which boosted my interest
in witchcraft. I was there working on a documentary, trying to keep myself
together and, unfortunately, sober. At the time, I was a shell of a person,
recovering from a series of traumas—most significantly, a sexual assault that
ruined my ability to relax and enjoy sex. The Black Mass and the witches and
even Satanists that I met were nothing like your conservative Christian relatives
would imagine. They were fierce yet kind, and the whole point of the ritual was
to make a political statement in favor of freedom of speech.
I fell for someone (a stoner) while working on the documentary. Black
Masses tend to bring people together. This was in 2013, before I could even get a
medical marijuana card for my PTSD in New York City. However, after
researching cannabis for PTSD and speaking with my psychiatrist, I gave it a
shot. I was always pro-cannabis and legalization. I grew up in the Caribbean,
surrounded by ganja culture, blessed with liberal parents, but I didn’t understand
the power of the plant until I needed it.
I found that cannabis allowed me to inhabit my body, rather than dissociate,
during sex. Research suggests it works for PTSD and trauma for anyone, not just
sexual assault survivors. In addition, it can be excellent for people with other
conditions, such as cancer, multiple sclerosis, migraines, seizure disorders, and
more. When I took it at the correct dose—always start low and go slow—I also
found that it turned my social anxiety around. Before weed, while I had managed
to keep my professional life together, I would frequently get a panic attack
outside a party door and jump in a cab home. Sure, I had benzodiazepines—I’m
not against Western medicine at all, and I believe that anxiety meds can be
helpful when used as directed—but I was so sedated, benzo withdrawal was hell,
I didn’t remember my last name, and I still couldn’t go to a party. Cannabis
changed that for me.
Over the last decade, I healed. I no longer need cannabis to relax during sex
or reduce my PTSD nightmares. Instead, I’ve watched it transform from a
lifesaving medicine to a social tool for me, a way to enhance orgasms, obtain
creative insight, and, yes, still lower my anxiety. But you don’t need a diagnosis
to enjoy cannabis. This plant medicine should be—and one day will be—legally
and safely available to everyone. And no one understands that more than
witches.
It took more than a single Black Mass to get me into witchcraft. But, as with
cannabis, I was well-primed. I had always had a wild heart and was fascinated
by the Hoodoo and Voodoo traditions I learned about growing up in the
Caribbean. So when I moved to New York City right after graduating college in
2010 and lived in the East Village, one of my first stops was a little occult shop
called Enchantments. Slowly, I learned the craft thanks to friends such as
Annabel Gat, the greatest astrologer on Earth. Eventually, I used tarot cards daily
for insight, created candle spells, and even joined a coven.
This is my third book on cannabis and also my third book on witchcraft—and
three is a powerful number. So I invite you to join a new coven: one exclusively
for weed witches.
Cannabis alone is magic. It’s a plant medicine used in India by ancient yogis
to enhance their meditation. In fact, the earliest mention of cannabis is from the
Vedas, or sacred Hindu texts dating back as early as 2000 BCE, although any trip
to Los Angeles and to groups such as Ganja Yoga will show that plenty of yogis
continue to use it today. Rastafarians rightfully consider it a sacrament. It’s
alchemy: transforming flowers into the ability to shake off your kink shame, get
famous using psychic powers, summon social equity—and yes, those are all
spells found in this book. Speaking of social equity, you must know that
activism, cannabis, and witchcraft are deeply intertwined, from the racist history
of prohibition of cannabis to the accused lesbians burned at the stake. This book
will change your life, but it will also help elevate the world around you through
your workings. Remember, as Spider-Man’s uncle taught us: with great power
comes great responsibility.
Weed and witchcraft are a little scary, and that’s okay. Both carry stigma and
come with important considerations, but weed and witchcraft can complement
and uplift one another when used responsibly. Now, I’m about to pass you a rose
petal blunt magically infused to banish fear—are you going to take a hit?
 NO 1

BASIC WITCH

Whether you’re a crone with tarot or a maiden new to your witchcraft journey,
there are some things that you need to learn before I let you anywhere near the
spells. For instance, is magic even real? Well, some studies confirm what
witches have suspected all along about the primal power of the full moon (crime
goes up) or the passion of the color red (men rate women wearing red as more
attractive than in other colors). But to be a witch, you cannot be a member of the
fun police. You have to use your imagination. Life is just more fun when you
believe in magic.
So, for one, how does your zodiac sign impact your relationship with
cannabis? Well, any sign ruled by Venus, especially the earth sign Taurus, is sure
to love weed, and intense water signs such as Scorpio can seriously benefit from
some sedation to help with that anxiety. I mean, who wants to feel anxious when
there are 4/20 parties to be held? We’ll get to that. In fact, there’s an entire spell
for throwing a 4/20 Taurus Season Abundance Party in the money and work
chapter. Still, you first need to learn the Pagan holidays and how to celebrate
appropriately, such as for Samhain, aka the true roots of Halloween, my dear
witch.
Oh, and are you totally new to tarot? Don’t worry; there’s a section that
defines every single one of the seventy-eight iconic cards through a weed witch
perspective, too.
 Eerily
(and Frequently)
Asked Questions

Are witches transphobic? If you hex someone, is that black magic, and is that
bad? Wait, is magic even real? Chill out, witch. Let’s get some questions out of
the way before we take this thing any further.

Is witchcraft real?
No, of course witchcraft isn’t real. Okay, now that the haters aren’t reading: yes,
it is. As I like to say, being a witch just means that you’re aware of your power
and aren’t afraid to use it.
How does this all work? Well, we have studies that show that
phytocannabinoids (THC, CBD, and countless others) affect us by connecting
with our endocannabinoid receptors (yes, our body is programmed for cannabis
—more on that in another chapter). But no, there are no studies that confirm that
Tauruses tend to love getting high or that pulling the Tower card means that your
life is about to explode. There are studies, however, that show that men rate
women wearing red as more sexually attractive. Witches use red in color magic,
candle magic, glamour magic, and more, for sex and love spells all the time, and
did so far before this research existed and named this “the red dress effect.” So,
if you need a scientific study to throw in your skeptical date’s face, there you go.
Oh, and of course, research also shows that crime goes up during the full moon,
confirming what astrologers tell you: watch out for drama during that phase.
To me, it doesn’t matter if it’s real. It’s fun. And in this world, fun is hard to
come by. Plus, there’s power in ritual. If I take a green candle, carve a money-
drawing sigil in it, and garnish it with powders and incense for abundance, will I
automatically get rich? No, but I will have a burning reminder of my intention,
egging me on as I manifest that money. Ritual is why we have weddings,
funerals, and proms and take time to prepare meals for people we love. And,
honestly, if I do happen to transmit my money-drawing intentions using ancient
rituals to the unknown powers that help guide this universe while also reminding
myself of my strength, well, good for me.

Can any gender be a witch?

Shame on you. Before Western colonization in many cultures—and to this day in
some—trans and gender nonconforming folks have been considered divine, from
the two-spirits of Indigenous North American tribes to the hijras of India. Any
gender can be a witch, and that also includes men. The world is only doing more
damage by leaving cis men out of the conversation. While it’s understandable for
some to want to have spaces offering them a break from feeling surrounded by
the patriarchy, if we don’t include men and educate them, how will we ever
break down harmful expectations of masculinity? Just like men should be able to
wear dresses, or love to dance, they can be witches (or warlocks, if they prefer),
too.

What’s the difference between black magic and

white magic?
In my opinion, there is no distinction between black and white magic; there is
simply magic. Some say that “black” magic is any spell intended to harm. But,
as the wise Fez told Lexi in Euphoria, sometimes people need to get their
feelings hurt. I do not feel bad for hexing racists and homophobes, but I have
found that the best revenge is living well when it comes to personal vendettas.
Therefore, if you really want to make your partner’s ex mad, skip the hex and
work on love spells so you can show off an engagement ring on IG.
But here’s the other thing. Frankly, the whole black magic/white magic thing
feels a little racist. The idea of this blonde witch Glinda in a pink ball gown
representing goodness is just so… dated and out of touch. Not to mention, much
of what people consider “black magic” does come from Voodoo or Hoodoo,
which are African in origin. So let’s lose these phrases and just work on
improving our lives and the world around us, please.
 Is the Rule of Three real?
The Rule of Three comes from Wicca, a Pagan religion, and warns that if you do
magic to cause harm, the results will come back to you three times worse. So
let’s say you curse someone to give them a bad hair day. The Rule of Three
states that they’ll have a bad hair day, but yours might fall out.
Frankly, I do not believe in the Rule of Three. However, I do think that if
someone is in a place where they’re putting all their time and energy into hexing
someone else, especially over petty things, they’re likely in an icky state of
mind. Their hair might start to fall out, but probably from the self-inflicted stress
of being an asshole.

What if someone hexes me?

Well, this is what protection spells are for, honey. Don’t worry; there’s a chapter
on that. Also, see above—they’ll probably be worse off than you are.

How do I cast a circle?

Casting a circle is something that witches do to create a protected area while
performing magical work. There are many ways to do this. To cast a circle by
calling upon the elements, see the spell for Navigate Consent & Cannabis in the
Stoned Spells for Love & Sex chapter. But you don’t need to hold an entire ritual
before each spell. We’re weed witches: we can take the chill approach. You can
also use sage, incense, or, as any weed witch loves, cannabis smoke to clear a
space. And, of course, you can’t go wrong with sprinkling a circle of salt.
You can simply close the circle when you’re finished. A reversal of the first
step often does this. So announce to the universe that you’re done and thank the
gods and goddesses for their protection. Then, call upon the elements in the
opposite direction, clean up your salt, or dance around with sage or smoke once
again just for the hex of it.

Can I identify with a religion and still be a witch?

Absolutely! Don’t listen to any Evangelical Satanic Panic; you can have fun with
weed and witchcraft and maintain your religious or cultural identity. Have you
ever seen a Catholic ritual? They get dressed up and drink the blood of their
God, for Christ’s sake. That puts my pink love candle infused with rose quartz to
shame.

What’s up with the devil?

You may hear about Satanism during your witchcraft journey, so I’d like to take
this moment to clear some things up. In Christianity, the devil is evil, the worst
of the worst, and a figure of fear and ruin. He’s often depicted as Lucifer, the
fallen angel, who couldn’t hang with Christ so decided to rule over hell. But, for
most modern-day witches, Satan represents freedom and individuality. The devil
isn’t scary; he’s an individualist and wants nothing to do with the church or
conformity. As a result, Lucifer, the devil, Satan—or whatever formidable name
you give him—can be a source of inspiration when you’re looking to go your
own way.
To be fair, there are some Satanists who took the whole “I am my own god”
thing into some sketchy, sexist, and even racist territory, but you don’t have to be
like them. I don’t think even Satan approves of that shit.
 Wicked High Astrology

Understanding your sun sign is like understanding the differences between

indicas, sativas, and hybrids. It offers a basic but helpful and—most importantly
—fun way to understand yourself and others. No, there are no scientific studies
that prove Geminis are epic heartbreakers, but anyone—including the Twins
themselves—who has dated one will absolutely back that up. Life, especially a
life that already involves the alchemy of cannabis, is just more fun when you
believe in magic.
Sun signs and reading horoscopes are a great way to integrate astrology into
your practice. But for a comprehensive understanding, get your entire birth chart
done. (You can easily do this online as long as you know your birth time and
location.) It’s like only knowing that Northern Lights weed is an indica versus
obtaining a detailed strain breakdown on the specific Northern Lights you
bought complete with terpene and cannabinoid profiles.
Sun signs are divided into the four elements: fire, earth, air, and water. Fire
signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) are the bold ballbusters of the group. While
they’re likely most comparable to a high-octane sativa or massive dab hit, they
should probably work on integrating more calming cannabis into their routine.
This way, they can burn like a star rather than burning bridges.
Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) tend to be more grounded, like an
earthy indica. But because they’re also hard workers, they don’t want anything
that will throw them into a long-term couchlock. So when choosing the best way
to consume cannabis, one must think beyond immediate gratification and look
for what’s most elevating in mind and spirit.
Meanwhile, the air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) can be flaky, so they can
benefit from using cannabis for focus. Air signs, Aquarius in particular, act as
the humanitarians of the zodiac and will benefit from getting involved in social
equity work in the cannabis industry. Geminis chat enough as it is, so make sure
they remember to puff, puff, and pass! And flirty Libras will enjoy the focus
derived from a light buzz to connect with others.
 And as for those passionate water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces)? Well, they
can benefit from opting for calming strains to help them navigate the blessing
and curse that causes them to feel emotions so profoundly.
The modality of a sign refers to its position in the season where it exists.
Each of the four elements manifests in each of the three modalities: cardinal
(Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn), fixed (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and
Aquarius), and mutable (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces).
Cardinal signs each kick off a season—they like to go first. So catch these
signs on top of the latest cannabis technology and bogarting the joint at parties.
Fixed signs fully embody their modality, and they don’t care much for change—
odds are that these signs have one favorite strain of cannabis and haven’t
changed their mind in over a decade. And as for mutable signs? They complete
the season, understand that change is inevitable, and will likely take whatever
they can get.
Your sun sign is an enjoyable way to help you understand yourself, others,
and your relationship with cannabis, but remember, you are unique and there is
only one version of you. Northern Lights is a famous indica, but its buds you
encounter across the world will vary greatly depending on where they are grown,
how much sunlight they get, the soil used, and a wide variety of other factors.
Likewise, your life experiences, relationships, upbringing, rebellions, and every
moment that leads you here make you different than the one-twelfth of the world
who share your sign. So learn what your sign means and what your planetary
ruler and corresponding tarot card are, but understand that your journey with
cannabis is unique and personal to only you.
That being said, it’s time to spill the astro-tea when it comes to weed.

ARIES

DATES: March 21–April 19

ELEMENT: Fire
MODALITY: Cardinal
SYMBOL: The Ram
PLANETARY RULER: Mars
TAROT CARD: The Emperor
WHAT BODY PART DOES IT RULE? The head
STRAIN TO TRY:Girl Scout Cookies
MOST LIKELY TO: Take a massive dab and insist that the night turn into
karaoke

Cosmic Cannabis Consumption Tips

As the first sign of the zodiac and ruled by Mars, the god of war, these fire signs
like to get what they want. While Aries tend to gravitate toward intense
experiences, such as massive bong rips, dabs, and strong sativas, they can benefit
from mellowing out. Aries rules the head and, despite their intimidating
demeanor, can be prone to anxiety—so this sign wants to avoid paranoia when
getting stoned.
Try opting for an indica-dominant hybrid such as Girl Scout Cookies if
you’re an Aries. Because Aries loves to try new things, these rams may enjoy
rolling spliffs with an herbal blend such as rose petals, lavender, or chamomile.
 TAURUS

DATES: April 20–May 20

ELEMENT: Earth
MODALITY: Fixed
SYMBOL: The Bull
PLANETARY RULER: Venus
TAROT CARD: The Hierophant
WHAT BODY PART DOES IT RULE? The neck and shoulders
STRAIN TO TRY:California Orange
MOST LIKELY TO: Already be high as hell on the couch, enjoying an epic
cheese plate

Cosmic Cannabis Consumption Tips

Taurus is ruled by Venus, the luxurious and sensual planet that encompasses
love, abundance, and beauty. This grounded earth sign has a reputation for
loving weed, but because they can already be a bit lazy, Taurus wants to avoid
sinking into a permanent couchlock with heavy edibles. Take a break from
indicas for a more uplifting hybrid, like the old-school California Orange.
If you’re a Taurus looking for a new way to integrate cannabis into your life
while maintaining sensuality, try a topical. Because Taurus rules the neck and
shoulders, they are prone to discomfort in these areas. Have your lover give you
a massage with anti-inflammatory cannabis cream. (Yes, it can be complete with
a happy ending.)
 GEMINI

DATES: May 21–June 20

ELEMENT: Air
MODALITY: Mutable
SYMBOL: The Twins
PLANETARY RULER: Mercury
TAROT CARD: The Lovers
WHAT BODY PART DOES IT RULE? Throat, lungs, breath
STRAIN TO TRY:Grandaddy Purp
MOST LIKELY TO: Mainly use cannabis during an MDMA comedown

Cosmic Cannabis Consumption Tips

Gemini is represented by the twins, and their corresponding tarot card is the
Lovers. While this doesn’t mean that Gemini is apt to settle down quickly—in
fact, these chatty heartbreakers tend to play the field—they thrive in group
settings. The plant is all about community; cannabis is meant to be shared.
So if you’re a Gemini, roll several joints and bring them to your next party,
making sure to share with friends and lovers. Don’t forget the puff-puff-pass
rule. Because chatty messenger Mercury rules Gemini, you can be prone to
overthinking and paranoia, so it’s best to avoid strong sativas with a high THC
content. Instead, try a euphoric indica such as Grandaddy Purp—and yes,
Gemini, sex parties count as social settings.
 CANCER

DATES: June 21–July 22

ELEMENT: Water
MODALITY: Cardinal
SYMBOL: The Crab
PLANETARY RULER: The moon
TAROT CARD: The Chariot
WHAT BODY PART DOES IT RULE? The chest, including the torso and breasts
STRAIN TO TRY:Orangeade
MOST LIKELY TO: Get high on the beach like fellow Cancer Lana Del Rey

Cosmic Cannabis Consumption Tips

Cancers tend to present themselves as the sweet homebodies of the zodiac, but
don’t forget, these crabs have pinchers. They’re horny little beasts who will cook
up an infused three-course meal for their chosen family, but they’re also
interested in what goes down after dinner. Cancers will benefit from trying the
pleasure- and intimacy–boosting effects of cannabis for sex, as it will help them
come out of their shell.
So if this is your sign, open your mind to trying infused pleasure oils,
suppositories, or simply sharing a joint with a lover. Because you’re a water sign
ruled by the moon, you’re profoundly intuitive and sensitive but can be prone to
bouts of sadness. Relieve your worries with a mood-boosting strain such as
Orangeade.
 LEO

DATES: July 23–August 22

ELEMENT: Fire
MODALITY: Fixed
SYMBOL: The Lion
PLANETARY RULER: The Sun
TAROT CARD: Strength
WHAT BODY PART DOES IT RULE? The heart, spinal column, and upper back
STRAIN TO TRY: Sour Diesel
MOST LIKELY TO: Get stoned and take a million selfies

Cosmic Cannabis Consumption Tips

Leos love attention. It’s not their fault! They’re ruled by the sun and radiate
throughout any room they enter. However, true confidence comes not from
affirming likes on Instagram but from within. Leos will benefit from an uplifting
and euphoric strain such as Sour Diesel to help them get through the day feeling
as fabulous as possible, without relying on the validation of others. Sour Diesel
also grows best outdoors and needs plenty of sun, making it an ideal choice for
these sun-bathing cats.
And, if you’re a Leo looking to explore new ways to use cannabis, consider
CBD-infused beauty products. You can find the cannabinoid in everything from
lipsticks to bath bombs and face masks due to its antioxidants and anti-
inflammatory properties. You can have your cannabis and feel pretty, too!
 VIRGO

DATES: August 23–September 22

ELEMENT: Earth
MODALITY: Mutable
SYMBOL: The Virgin
PLANETARY RULER: Mercury
TAROT CARD: The Hermit
WHAT BODY PART DOES IT RULE? Abdomen and digestive system
STRAIN TO TRY: OG Kush
MOST LIKELY TO: Have the most organized cannabis altar you’ve ever seen

Cosmic Cannabis Consumption Tips

The Hermit card in the tarot represents Virgos, and indeed, these brilliant beings
need their alone time. However, sometimes social anxiety can get the best of
them, and that healthy alone time can turn into isolation.
Opt for cannabis that aids anxiety, dear Virgo, such as anything with a high
CBD ratio or a balanced hybrid like OG Kush, for help coming out of your cave.
However, because Virgos are hard workers and anything but lazy, avoid
ultrahigh THC levels or couchlocked indicas. Because Virgo rules the digestive
system, remember that cannabis is excellent for calming nausea if you have GI
issues.
 LIBRA

DATES: September 23–October 22

ELEMENT: Air
MODALITY: Cardinal
SYMBOL: The Scales
PLANETARY RULER: Venus
TAROT CARD: Justice
WHAT BODY PART DOES IT RULE? Kidneys, lower back, and butt
STRAIN TO TRY: Cherry Pie
MOST LIKELY TO: Get too high and text their sidepiece while watching reality
TV

Cosmic Cannabis Consumption Tips

Libras are a lovely air sign ruled by lover Venus. They thrive in relationships, yet
despite embodying the goddess of love, they can be a little flaky and tend to
have wandering eyes—and not just within romantic relationships but also when
it comes to what to order for dinner.
If you’re a Libra, try something grounding, such as the hybrid Cherry Pie,
which is equal parts calming and energizing. Because your ruling planet is
Venus, which rules beauty in addition to love, you may also enjoy playing with
CBD-infused beauty products. And, as the sign of justice, if you’re going to be a
stoner witch, make sure to think about restorative justice, ending the war on
drugs, and addressing racial disparities within the cannabis industry as part of
your practice.
 SCORPIO

DATES: October 23–November 21

ELEMENT: Water
MODALITY: Fixed
SYMBOL: The Scorpion
PLANETARY RULERS: Mars and Pluto
TAROT CARD: Death
WHAT BODY PART DOES IT RULE? Reproductive organs
STRAIN TO TRY: Northern Lights
MOST LIKELY TO: Eat a massive edible and experience spontaneous
orgasms

Cosmic Cannabis Consumption Tips

Scorpios are the sign of sex, death, and transformation. These horny water signs
continuously evolve to become the best version of themselves. They’re
charismatic, intense, and great in bed, but prone to paranoia. Scorpios want to
avoid anything that leads them into a dark doom spiral or prompts obsessively
stoned-stalking of an ex.
So, Scorpios, opt for a calming yet uplifting strain such as Northern Lights.
You may also benefit from the long-lasting effects of edibles to help you chill
out and only use your signature stinger as needed. Secretive Scorpios also enjoy
the discreet nature of edibles compared to a smelly blunt. And, because the body
part associated with your sign is the genitals, from pleasure oils to sharing an
after-sex spliff, you can seamlessly integrate cannabis into your sex life to
heighten intimacy—and orgasms.
 SAGITTARIUS

DATES: November 22–December 21

ELEMENT: Fire
MODALITY: Mutable
SYMBOL: The Archer
PLANETARY RULER: Jupiter
TAROT CARD: Temperance
WHAT BODY PART DOES IT RULE? Hips, thighs
STRAIN TO TRY: Cannatonic
MOST LIKELY TO: Smoke too much and talk over everyone at a dinner party
(which they tend to do even when sober)

Cosmic Cannabis Consumption Tips

Sagittarius is the only sign depicted carrying a weapon, and that’s about all you
need to know. As the archer, these intelligent and social fire signs know how to
get what they want and often do. After all, they’re ruled by the lucky planet
Jupiter. As a sign of higher learning, Sagittarius tends to be highly intellectual
and good at basically everything—but to their detriment, they know it.
You can be overly dominant, Sag, and you know it. Unless you’re a medical
patient, try to avoid anything too highly dosed. You have so much natural
charisma, you’re basically a walking hero dose—the opposite of a microdose,
also called a macrodose—as it is. There’s a reason why Temperance, a tarot card
that encourages moderation, corresponds with your sign. The calming yet
invigorating effects of a hybrid such as Cannatonic will help you keep your
allure while remembering to listen.
 CAPRICORN

DATES: December 22–January 19

ELEMENT: Earth
MODALITY: Cardinal
SYMBOL: The Sea Goat
PLANETARY RULER: Saturn
TAROT CARD: The Devil
WHAT BODY PART DOES IT RULE? Knees, joints, bones
STRAIN TO TRY: Green Crack
MOST LIKELY TO: Own a successful cannabis business

Cosmic Cannabis Consumption Tips

Capricorns are ambitious hard workers who often come off as a bit conservative
—but don’t let them fool you. The tarot card that corresponds with these earth
signs is the Devil, which isn’t so much about evil as sexy bondage and
discipline. Capricorns live by the motto “work hard and play hard.” However,
the last thing they want is to get too high to form a cohesive thought.
So, calling all Capricorns: An invigorating strain like Green Crack—it’s just
cannabis, and if the name bothers you, some people call it “Green Crush”—will
help you reduce stress while maintaining your authority. You’re a natural
engineer and likely have access to the latest in water pipe (bong) technology.
You could even build your own dab rig if you put your mind to it—although for
safety reasons, please stick with store-bought.
 AQUARIUS

DATES: January 20–February 18

ELEMENT: Air
MODALITY: Fixed
SYMBOL: The Water Bearer
PLANETARY RULER: Uranus
TAROT CARD: The Star
WHAT BODY PART DOES IT RULE? Ankles, calves, shins
STRAIN TO TRY: Jack Herer
MOST LIKELY TO: Bogart the joint while ranting about late-stage capitalism

Cosmic Cannabis Consumption Tips

Aquarians are the humanitarians of the zodiac. Ruled by eccentric planet Uranus,
they are innovators and often care deeply about making the world a better place.
But they are also an aloof air sign, and while they may be awesome activists,
they can suck at texting their friends back.
A grounding strain, such as Jack Herer—named after the cannabis activist—
will help them focus on the present while cultivating creativity to keep that
active mind happy. Aquarians are the aliens of the zodiac, and like Capricorns,
also tend to love high-tech weed technology. If you’re an Aquarius, you may
prefer intake methods such as inhalation over edibles. First, an interest in smoke
or vapor is part of your air sign DNA, and second, the time commitment required
with edibles might be too much for you. While you certainly love getting high,
darling, it’s unsurprising if your favorite thing about cannabis is working on
prison reform. Don’t worry; if the dark sides of the industry ever stress you out
too much, that’s what your state-of-the-art vape is for.
 PISCES

DATES: February 19–March 20

ELEMENT: Water
MODALITY: Mutable
SYMBOL: The Fish
PLANETARY RULER: Neptune
TAROT CARD: The Moon
WHAT BODY PART DOES IT RULE? Feet and lymphatic system
STRAIN TO TRY: Blue Dream
MOST LIKELY TO: Be stoned AF and late to an event while reading this

Cosmic Cannabis Consumption Tips

Pisces is the zodiac’s last sign, making it psychic, wise, and intuitive. However,
these water signs can be overly emotional at times, becoming flaky and
overwhelmed. Their psychic power has its downsides. Pisces may be prone to
depression and anxiety.
So, darling Pisces, be careful not to overindulge and opt for uplifting strains
such as Blue Dream. You love water—you are represented by fish, after all—so
you should definitely invest in a calming CBD bath bomb to float around in.
And yes, Pisces, you can bring a joint in the tub with you. And as great as a
CBD bath sounds, nothing makes a Pisces feel more at home than splashing
around while stoned in the ocean.
 Tokes and Tarot

If you think playing Pictionary while high is fun, just wait until you learn about
stoned tarot. Now, before any witches are offended by the comparison to a game,
it’s worth mentioning how tarot likely began. Most historians agree that tarot
cards originated sometime in the middle of the fifteenth century. This likely took
place in Italy after the one-percenter Visconti family of Milan commissioned the
artist Bonifacio Bembo to create a set of cards. These cards were for a game
called Tarocchi. Back then, Tarocchi was for party tricks and gambling, and it
wasn’t developed into a method of divination until much later.
But don’t let that historical fact throw you off. There is tremendous power in
tarot backed up by centuries of ritual use. As a result, the cards represent
archetypes and life experiences that we can all relate to. While using your tarot
cards to ask questions such as “When will I get married?” or “How can I get
rich?” is undeniably fun, even today the most respected occultists warn against
using the cards purely for divination. Instead, as I like to describe it, they’re a
magical meditation tool that tells you what you already know. In the back of
your mind, you already know that you need to do some self-work and start
picking healthier partners before you should get married or that you’re going to
have to work your ass off to get rich. The cards just read you like a drag queen.
Think of the tarot as a mirror rather than a Magic 8 Ball.
Most tarot decks—and I suggest starting with the Rider-Waite-Smith deck if
you’re new, as that’s what most other decks are based upon—contain seventy-
eight cards divided into the Major and Minor Arcana. The Major Arcana consists
of twenty-two cards and contains iconic figures such as the Magician, High
Priestess, and infamous Tower card. Traditional tarot knowledge states that the
Major Arcana represents big, life-changing events. Meanwhile, the Minor
Arcana—which consists of fifty-six cards divided into four suits (Wands, Cups,
Swords, and Pentacles)—tends to give context to a reading and refer to smaller
life events.
One of the best ways to learn the tarot is to begin with a single-card pull once
a day. Whether in the morning, before you go to bed, or whenever you have a
moment, take a minute to meditate. Then shuffle the deck, asking a specific
question or, simply, “What do I need to know today?” Pull a card. Perhaps you
get the Two of Swords, which likely indicates you need to relax and lower your
guard.
Another fun and easy tarot spread is the three-card past, present, and future
spread. While shuffling the cards, think of a question, such as “How can I be
happy in love?” The first card represents your past, which can offer insight into
how trauma and even positive previous experiences can get in the way of joy.
The second card represents your present situation, and the third card marks the
future. There are countless and complex tarot spreads, but often the best way to
do a reading is simply to pull a few cards and stare at them. (Hint: Cannabis
helps with this.) Before long, between looking at the patterns of the pictures and
applying your tarot knowledge layered with your personal insight, an answer
will emerge.
Some people apply a different meaning if you pull a card and it’s reversed—
usually a darker and warped version of the card’s original intention. However,
the world can be backward enough, so especially if you’re new to learning tarot,
I suggest sticking with one meaning for each card for now. So what does each
card mean, and more importantly, what do they have to do with cannabis? Keep
reading for a weed witch guide to all seventy-eight cards. (Note that I’ll use the
genders associated with the typical illustrations of the RWS deck, but that
shouldn’t limit your perception of these archetypes. We all contain the divine
masculine and feminine, regardless of our gender.)
 MAJOR ARCANA

The Fool: The Fool kicks off the journey of the tarot, depicting an
innocent, free-spirited person ready to take on the world. The hardships
of life haven’t made the Fool cynical yet, so he’s able to go after his
dreams without fear holding him back, although he must learn to be
careful. The Fool is that time you ate an entire weed brownie at a music
festival without realizing how potent edibles can be, tripped your ass off,
but learned from the experience and appreciated the adventure.

The Magician: The Magician is one of the most crucial cards in the tarot
because it shows what witchcraft is all about: manifestation. With one
hand to the grounded earth and one to the magical sky, he shows us how
to turn our desires into reality through willpower and working with the flow
of nature. You can learn to grow your own cannabis plants, but you must
consider climate, time commitment, and any budgetary restraints.
Recognizing it’s easier and safer to opt for store-bought is Magician
wisdom, too.

The High Priestess: The High Priestess represents divine, intuitive,

feminine wisdom, which we all contain regardless of gender. And yes,
this card’s name is also a dope weed pun. The High Priestess says that
you don’t have a creative block. You just need to get high, meditate, and
let your unconsciousness speak to you.

The Empress: Like the High Priestess, the Empress also represents a
divine feminine form, but she’s more sex goddess and less sacred
intuition. She is raw, beautiful, fertile sexuality. The Empress wears a
gown of flowers—more beautiful than anything Oscar de la Renta could
design—and understands that cannabis is one of the most sacred flowers
of all.

The Emperor: The Emperor represents divine masculine qualities, such

as authority, leadership, and power. So yes, he is quite the daddy. As a
fatherly figure, the Emperor does want to make sure that you’re safe. He
advises avoiding THC after a particular hour if it keeps you up at night
and says try a CBD tincture for insomnia instead.

The Hierophant: While the Emperor is the male counterpart to the

Empress, the Hierophant complements the High Priestess. While the
Hierophant is often associated with structure and organized religion, a
more modern interpretation is that he respects tradition and does what’s
best for the community. For instance, the Hierophant wants to make sure
that those who served time for nonviolent cannabis-related crimes can
join the legal industry since they have the experience.

The Lovers: The Lovers is finding that person who makes you feel like
love could be real and helps you lower your walls. This card of romantic
passion can represent the start of a beautiful fling or the meeting of the
person you’ll marry. Either way, enjoy the love (and sex). The Lovers card
wants you to smoke those post-sex joints until you get high and horny
enough to make love again.

The Chariot: The Chariot is a card of willpower and success. Yes, you
can do it, and you need to control the demons in your head whispering
otherwise. Make them your servants by working with all sides of your
beautiful, complicated existence, and get what’s yours. If you’ve cut back
on hangovers by switching to cannabis more often, that’s totally Chariot
energy.

Strength: The Strength card depicts a beautiful woman taming a lion in

the RWS deck. The majestic beast is no longer a threat but her familiar.
Strength is all about harnessing the power of your primal passions into
productive energy. This card carries the swagger of someone who was
made fun of for being a stoner their whole life and now has more money
than any former classmates thanks to their successful cannabis
business.

The Hermit: The Hermit represents the normal need to retreat from
society—or at least take a social media break—for the sake of
reconnecting with your spiritual side. If you don’t remember the last time
you took a day off, the Hermit says that it’s healthy to turn off your phone,
rest with some indica, and sink into a couchlock or spend a long weekend
in nature. Goddess Mary Jane says that you need rest.

Wheel of Fortune: The Wheel of Fortune reminds us that change is the

only constant in life. When you’re in the depths of despair, you must
remember that the wheel will turn, and you’ll experience joy again.
Likewise, if life couldn’t be better, take a moment to appreciate that
because there are still bumpy roads ahead. The Wheel of Fortune says
that you might need medical marijuana to help with PTSD right now, but
one day that same plant will be primarily a fun social tool for you—and it’s
okay to use it for both.

Justice: Justice is the karma card. It’s nothing to be afraid of; Justice just
calls it like it is and makes sure that the scales are balanced. If you’re a
cannabis CEO who’s never smoked weed and used to call the cops on
kids smoking on the corner, get ready to get canceled. Hopefully, Justice
will replace you with someone who actually respects the customer.

The Hanged Man: The Hanged Man isn’t the victim of hanging but
instead a card of total surrender. Like an advanced yogi in headstand,
this card is about letting go to let wisdom in. You know, maybe there was
a lot of THC in that edible, but you’re with friends, you’re safe, it won’t
hurt you, so try riding the wave and discovering where it takes you.

Death: Death sounds scary—and it is—but it’s also a part of life that we
all have to accept. Still, this card doesn’t typically represent a literal
death; it’s about transformation and shedding your old skin to evolve into
a higher version of yourself. The Death card may ask you to honestly
assess if political propaganda from the 1980s with no basis in science is
still affecting your view on weed as a legitimate medicine, even if you
claim to be down.

Temperance: Temperance is an angelic, protective card of balance and

moderation. I know, I know, who wants to hear “moderation” in a book
about cannabis? But, seriously, even though cannabis isn’t physically
addictive, plenty of people get high to avoid feeling their feelings.
Temperance just wants to make sure you use the plant to enhance your
powers, not dull them.

The Devil: The Devil card depicts two people, much like the Lovers,
standing beneath Baphomet with chains around their neck. But, upon
closer inspection, the chains are loose. They can leave whenever they
want. While Christian interpretations of the devil are all about evil and sin,
modern Satanists prefer to see the devil as a symbol of rebellion and
independence. So if you’re just enjoying cannabis during a kink scene,
keep the collar on and party! But, sort of like Temperance, this card can
ask you to check in with your relationship with cannabis to make sure that
you’re using it responsibly.

The Tower: The Tower is that unexpected moment in life when

everything comes crashing down. It’s the rock-bottom feeling most of us
have already felt at least once. The upside to the Tower is that this
sudden change forces us to adapt, grow up, and become stronger. The
worst is over, and now you are wiser. So, yeah, maybe your evil ex stole
your weed when you finally got them out of your apartment. Give it some
time. Soon you’ll be living in a much fancier home, with all the cannabis
one could want, and your soul mate will find their way to you and you’ll
forget the aforementioned ex existed.

The Star: The Star is a card of calm after the storm. It suggests the end
of a bad situation of self-sabotaging and a surge of renewal, abundance,
and optimism. The Star is that feeling after you’ve not only survived a
traumatic event but come out stronger and hotter, with a medical
marijuana card to help keep you feeling good.

The Moon: The Moon is a beautiful card that can suggest getting in
touch with your intuition and psychic abilities. However, like a strong
sativa, this card can sometimes indicate paranoia and anxiety. Are things
actually horrible in your life right now, or are you just projecting all your
past trauma and future fears onto the present?
The Sun: The Sun is a welcome card of happiness. It’s the feeling of
lying on a beach while on vacation in Jamaica, high off sun-grown ganja,
and remembering that joy exists in this world.

Judgement: This card often appears at major crossroads in your life

when it’s time to make a decision that requires working with emotions
and logic. But, if you get it right, it indicates a leveling up in life. So before
you make any life-changing decisions, take a toke, meditate, and listen to
your heart and your head.

The World: The World is, well, the entire world. It’s a card of completion,
accomplishment, and understanding that you’re on the right path. I
suggest listening to “This Must Be the Place” by the Talking Heads while
high for a full understanding.

MINOR ARCANA

Wands
The powerful and passionate Suit of Wands is associated with the element of
fire. Like the fire signs in astrology (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius), Wands energy has a
profound spirit. These creative cards are all about manifestation. Often, a Wand
card will represent opportunity, whether in love, money, or spiritual growth. And
while the stars can hand some luck, or firepower, your way, the only one who
can turn a tarot reading into reality is you.

King of Wands: The King of Wands is a leader, a fiercely independent

entrepreneur. He knows how to put creative ideas into action and make a
profit. The King of Wands runs a cannabis industry that actually both
succeeds and fights for social justice.

Queen of Wands: The Queen of Wands is a badass bitch, and she

knows it. Her confidence is what makes her so attractive. In the RWS
version, she sits on a throne with a black cat by her feet. The cat
represents her shadow self, aka her inner demons, and suggests that
she’s been able to accept and love her whole self, thus becoming
extremely powerful. The Queen of Wands highly recommends using
cannabis therapeutically to make friends with your own darkness. She
believes in you!

Knight of Wands: The Knight of Wands is a young, impulsive stud,

always up for an adventure. He’s the charismatic babe you went on a
road trip with in college, who fucked your brains out and broke your heart.
So yeah, you can totally still use bongs as a real adult, but you do have
to change the water now.

Page of Wands: The Page of Wands is a free spirit, not yet broken by
the world’s cruelties and filled with potential. This card indicates that
you’re about to embark on a new journey or project and have the
audacity to pull it off. So go ahead and start that cannabis business.
Quick, before anyone tries to talk you out of it!

Ten of Wands: The Ten of Wands depicts the end of the journey, that
final, painful last push, when you’re working all night and sure that you’re
about to have a mental breakdown. Take a step back, calm your nerves
with the pull of a joint, and keep going. You’re doing great, and you’re
going to succeed.

Nine of Wands: Oof. When you pull the Nine of Wands, the tarot is
telling you that you are emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted.
You may even have an injury or adverse health consequences as a result
of all of that stress. You’re going after your dreams, but right now,
everything just hurts. The universe is an asshole, but it’s also testing you.
Keep going. This card requires more than just a toke—eat an edible, take
a long nap, and then put on your favorite power playlist and get back to
work.

Eight of Wands: The Eight of Wands is a card of swift action; you are
about to be busy! Life moves like waves, in ups and downs, periods of
calm and those in which we feel like we’re drowning in work. So take
advantage of this busy, creative time, and don’t be afraid to use cannabis
to manage stress levels—just avoid anything too heavy, you need your
brain right now.

Seven of Wands: Quick, put down the Cheetos and get off the couch! A
battle is coming. It might be a rush assignment at work that you have to
slay, or someone could be trying to ruin your relationship. Whatever it is,
the haters are coming, you officially have competition, and you need to
put your guard up. Save all your weed for yourself right now. Your friends
—or frenemies—can buy their own.

Six of Wands: The Six of Wands is a card of success, so put on your

flower crown and swagger. This card says that it’s okay to show off your
accomplishments, so go ahead and take selfies of yourself smoking a
joint while counting fat stacks if you like. You’ve earned it.

Five of Wands: The Five of Wands depicts five people fighting, but not to
kill. Yes, they have a difference in opinions, but they’re mostly just
horsing around, discussing politics for the sake of it, and even open to
collaboration. If you come from a family or friend group with diverse
backgrounds or perspectives, sometimes all you need is a peace pipe to
resolve any conflict.

Four of Wands: The Four of Wands depicts a joyful and loving

celebration, such as a wedding. Sure, you’ve seen bartenders at
weddings, but did you know that you can hire a budtender for your
nuptials now too?

Three of Wands: The Three of Wands shows a man gazing upon his
future kingdom, plotting and planning. There will be many obstacles and
challenges ahead of you, but right now, you’re taking stock of what’s
immediate. Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is step
back, take a weekend off, use cannabis to meditate, and come back
ready to embark on your mission.

Two of Wands: The Two of Wands shows us someone with the world in
their hands, with many grand plans, but unable to step out of their
comfort zone and take the leap. Look, if you’ve never tried an edible,
there’s no better time than the present. Just start low, go slow, and open
your mind to what comes.

Ace of Wands: The Ace of Wands is a flash of brilliance, new ideas that
lead to opportunities, and your dreams coming true. It’s that moment
when, after weeks of trying to figure out the best way forward, it all comes
together in a stoned epiphany like a gift from goddess Mary Jane.

Cups
The Suit of Cups represents the inner realm of emotions. Associated with the
creative and intuitive element of water (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces), these cards
tend to point toward our relationships, and yes, that often means your love life.
The realm of emotions can get a negative reputation for being too, well,
emotional, but never underestimate water’s power. Yes, it’s in tears, but it can
also be a tsunami. Water is willing to ebb and flow, whether you’re reexamining
your relationship with cannabis and how much outdated propaganda held you
back from exploring it, looking to get married, or battling trauma. These cards
also point to creativity and passion and speak especially to musicians, writers,
and artists of all kinds.

King of Cups: The King of Cups is a successful, emotionally available,

creative guy. Hey, anything’s possible, right? This card represents the
challenging but achievable mastery of emotions. Remember, that doesn’t
mean ignoring your feelings, but rather being able to combine them with
logic or use creative outlets to healthily—and perhaps prosperously—
channel them.

Queen of Cups: The Queen of Cups is a beautiful, badass, fucking G.

But she’s somehow also emotionally stable. She’s mastered the art of
feeling her feelings without becoming overwhelmed. So when you see
this card, it’s telling you to trust your intuition. Now is the time to listen to
your heart over your head. Look, the person you’re dating might look
great on paper, but if they don’t laugh at your stoned jokes and fuck your
brains out, what’s the point?

Knight of Cups: The Knight of Cups is a total romantic. He can charm

his way into the underground cannabis speakeasy and talk his way to the
top. When the Knight of Cups appears, light up a fat blunt, turn on your
favorite music, and remind yourself that you contain such powers, too.

Page of Cups: When you pull the fun-loving, bright Page of Cups, it
suggests that you’re about to have a creative breakthrough. Are you
feeling stuck? Shut your computer, do a stoned meditation, or damn, take
a weekend at the beach if you can and live it up like Rihanna, and let
your inner wisdom reveal itself.

Ten of Cups: The Ten of Cups depicts a happy and harmonious

relationship. This couple loves one another even if their substance
preferences are different, even if one gobbles up all the snacks, and even
when they do fight. No matter what, they trust that it’s all still okay.

Nine of Cups: The Nine of Cups depicts a delighted gentleman indeed.

He has some money, plenty of goods, a well-stocked cannabis supply,
and a sex partner who is down to try all of his kinks. Just don’t look too
closely at the furniture in his apartment. He’s happy, but he’s still
shopping at Ikea. The best lies ahead. Before you get too cocky, this card
reminds you to take stock and count your blessings.

Eight of Cups: The Eight of Cups can be a brutal card. It suggests that
you may have a job or partner that makes others jealous, but you’re still
not happy or fulfilled. You put your eggs in the wrong basket, and now
you know. The only thing to do is toughen up and get out, even if it’s
hard.

Seven of Cups: The Seven of Cups is someone quite high, hogging the
joint, and talking (only talking) about that record they’re going to record,
how they’re going to get out of this town for the city, maybe write a book,
or even run for office. It’s beautiful dreams and twisted illusions all in one.
So pass the joint, get off the couch, and put a realistic plan in action.
Six of Cups: The Six of Cups is a beautifully nostalgic card filled with
joyful childhood memories. It reminds you to stop taking yourself so
seriously and have some sweet fun. So get high and go to an
amusement park, the botanical gardens, or a picnic.

Five of Cups: The Five of Cups shows a guy staring despondently at

three cups, all of which have spilled, but he’s so caught up in his glass-
half-empty mindset that he neglects to notice that there are two more
cups, still standing and full, right behind him, waiting to be seized! It’s
true. He made a few mistakes, and now he’s bummed. Your thoughts
form your world. Plus, research suggests that cannabis can help reduce
negative bias, so cheers, bitches.

Four of Cups: In the Four of Cups, a young man sits rather petulantly,
rejecting a shiny goblet the universe presents him with. There are so
many wonderful new opportunities, perhaps a job or a hot date, but he
doesn’t want any of them! He can’t make a single decision. That’s okay;
sometimes, you’re allowed to be a brat. The Four of Cups says that if you
don’t know what to do, sometimes the best thing is to get stoned and do
nothing. Trust yourself. The answer will come.

Three of Cups: Want to hear a secret? The Three of Cups is the

threesome card. Or, if you’re not into that, it’s just three besties, hanging
out, getting high, talking shit, spilling tea, and loving life. Enjoy.

Two of Cups: Oh, the Two of Cups is a gorgeous card of sexual energy
and savvy business partnerships—or maybe even both at once! Should
you and your partner start a weed podcast? Hey, it can’t hurt to get high
and record a pilot.

Ace of Cups: Sometimes it can be tough to let love in. If you’ve

experienced trauma or had the world break your heart in more ways than
one, sometimes the smart move is to cover it with armor. But the Ace of
Cups reminds you that you can’t give love while you’re limiting yourself
professionally and personally with a steel heart. This card depicts the
minute you open yourself, show a little vulnerability, and end up with an
engagement ring, a six-figure book deal, or both as a result.

Swords
The Suit of Swords represents thoughts and intellectual matters and corresponds
with the element of air. In astrology, the air signs are Gemini, Libra, and
Aquarius. Swords ask us to use logic and remember to think and act rationally
even when overcome with emotions. Like the air required to light a joint, you
can’t see thought, but it’s fundamental to life. At times, the cool logic of the
Swords may come off as aloof, detached, and even cold, which is why it’s
crucial to learn how to wield the weapon of your mind responsibly.

King of Swords: Sometimes, you have to cut a bitch. Of course, I don’t

mean literal violence. This is a book about witches and weed, after all.
But the King of Swords doesn’t fuck around. He is smart, knows it, and
uses his intellect to get ahead. The King of Swords says that the next
time a relative gives you shit for being a stoner, it is your duty to stand up,
cite scientific studies, note the racist history of anti-cannabis propaganda,
and put them in their place.

Queen of Swords: The Queen of Swords also has zero time for bullshit.
Unless you provide her with an intellectual connection, she will build
boundaries faster than you can smoke through an eighth. The Queen of
Swords says that even in the healthiest relationships, you must maintain
some independence and not lose your mind, no matter how good the sex
is.

Knight of Swords: The ambitious Knight of Swords is on a mission. He’s

determined and gets what he wants because he’s good. The only times
that he fails are when he acts too quickly. The Knight of Swords reminds
you always to proofread emails when negotiating your salary—even
when you aren’t high.

Page of Swords: The Page of Swords has his weapon drawn—the

sword of intellect—and he’s enthusiastically ready to use it. He’s not so
interested in violence but in thinking of his future, and as a Page, he
understands there is a lot he still needs to learn. This card suggests that
you open your mind to a new perspective or way of thinking. For
instance, the Page of Swords may suggest that it’s time to learn about
cannabinoid profiles, terpenes, and everything that makes up a strain
beyond the indica versus sativa labels.

Ten of Swords: The Ten of Swords depicts a man with ten swords
stabbed into his body, including one in his ear. His enemies could have
killed him with a single blade, but they used every last one they had. At
first glance, this card is nothing but gore, but it does contain a silver
lining. If you look at the RWS version, the sky is dark, but a bright sun
peeks out from underneath. Many occultists speculate this card is where
the expression “it’s always darkest before the dawn” originates. There are
no swords left. This is as bad as it gets. And even though it might hurt
now, there’s only good ahead. So keep going, rub some CBD ointment
on your bruises, and take this as a sign that things are about to get
better.

Nine of Swords: The Nine of Swords shows a woman up at night,

disturbed by nightmares and anxiety. This card indicates that, yes, life
might suck right now, but how’s your state of mind? Sometimes, our
paranoia and anxiety can be so bad that we see the world through shit-
stained glasses. But it’s never as bad as you think. Relax, enjoy a little
cannabis to calm that anxiety, and make a gratitude list of all the love in
your life.

Eight of Swords: In the Eight of Swords, a woman is blindfolded, tied

up, and surrounded by eight swords. However, upon closer inspection,
you’ll notice that the swords aren’t hurting her, the bondage is a poorly
done job, her blindfold is already slipping off, and she can escape
anytime that she wants to. But unfortunately, her negative mentality and
love for playing the victim hold her back. So get over your shit. There are
people in jail for weed right now, so take off the blindfold to use the
privilege you have to do something about it.
Seven of Swords: The Seven of Swords depicts trickery, a man—
probably drunk—messily stealing swords in the night or, for our modern
interpretation, weed from a house party, all cocky that he’s going to get
away with it. But, of course, he will not get away with it. So when you see
this card, it’s a sign that you need to be direct with people. Stop sneaking
around and be honest.

Six of Swords: The Six of Swords depicts a state of transition. Perhaps

you are moving to a new city, starting a new job, or entering a
relationship. You’re leaving what’s familiar—and that’s scary—but a
bounty of joy waits on the other side. You only have one assignment:
drop the mental baggage holding you back. If ruminating thoughts plague
you, try integrating a cannabis-infused meditation into your daily routine.

Five of Swords: This card indicates that you’ve had a falling out with
someone, perhaps a dear friend or lover. Even if you “won” the fight, you
feel like shit because you damaged a meaningful relationship. The Five
of Swords reminds you to pick your battles. If your partner cheated on
you? Yeah, you should be mad. But if they accidentally ashed on the sofa
during Netflix and Chill? It’s probably best to let that go.

Four of Swords: The Four of Swords carries a simple message: Rest.

You’ve been through a lot lately, and you could benefit from time alone to
regain your strength. The whole idea of cannabis putting you into a
couchlock usually comes with negative connotations, but sometimes a
good couchlock is precisely what you need. It can be challenging,
especially for the ambitious weed witches among us, to allow yourself a
break. This card tells you that it’s the best thing that you can do right now.

Three of Swords: The iconic Three of Swords is the hard heartbreak. It

depicts three swords slicing right through a heart. Ouch. Yeah, breakups
happen, and they hurt—don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. But you have
to mend and then keep moving. Take as much time as you need, sink
into a hot bubble bath with a CBD bath bomb, cry, scream, and know that
in time, this pain will end, and you will be stronger.
Two of Swords: In the Two of Swords, a woman protectively holds two
swords across her chest in a guarded position. She’s also wearing a
blindfold, which indicates why she feels the need to protect herself; she
doesn’t have all the information. She might not even need those swords.
Sometimes, we put up walls and wield weapons, thinking there is danger
in the present when we’re just reliving past hurt. This card indicates that
you should remove your blindfold, take a nice hit of weed, lower your
weapons, and accurately assess the situation before moving forward.

Ace of Swords: The Ace of Swords suggests a sudden mental

breakthrough. You’re hanging out with your buddies, passing a joint, and
shooting the shit, and then, boom. The answer to how to end your novel,
work out a financial situation, or resolve a relationship problem comes to
you like an intellectual bolt of lightning. Make sure to write it down so that
you don’t forget.

Pentacles
Pentacles, sometimes called coins, represent the physical earth. They also
correspond to the element of earth and the earth signs Taurus, Virgo, and
Capricorn. In readings, the Suit of Pentacles portrays material possessions,
mainly our relationship with work and money. Whether it’s getting a promotion,
starting your own business, or watching cannabis plants grow, Pentacles are
about abundance, manifestation, and, most importantly, how we create them.

King of Pentacles: The King of Pentacles is a wealthy and

accomplished man. He lives in a castle with a beautiful garden filled with
cannabis plants that grow giant buds. He provides for his family. Life is
calm and prosperous now, but it’s been a long, hard road. Through trial
and tribulation, he finally found a way of life that works for him. This card
indicates that there’s no need to make any changes. As they say, if it ain’t
broke, don’t fix it.

Queen of Pentacles: The Queen of Pentacles is a working mom who

does it all while looking fabulous. When you pull this card, it’s often a sign
to tap into your nurturing side. So how does she manage to maintain a
healthy balance without having a mental breakdown? I have no idea,
honestly—probably weed.

Knight of Pentacles: Don’t get it twisted; the Knight of Pentacles is

accomplished and admirable—he is a knight, after all. However, this card
points to the more mundane and tedious tasks one must tackle to
achieve their dreams. You have to do your taxes, file invoices, and keep
a budget even if it’s not sexy. If you need a sativa vape to help you plod
your way through it, hey, no judgment.

Page of Pentacles: The Page of Pentacles can signal a new beginning

or professional opportunity, but before you can count your cash, you
need to learn the value of money. No, if you’re serious about getting
financially stable, you should not overdraw your account to buy weed.
Ask a friend to help you out.

Ten of Pentacles: The Ten of Pentacles shows a wealthy man who has
officially made it. If you pull this card, cheers, you’re on your way to
abundance and a steady home life to match. Of course, there’s not much
more that you want, so share some weed with your friend who pulled the
Page of Pentacles.

Nine of Pentacles: The Nine of Pentacles depicts a woman dressed in a

couture gown, enjoying her self-made riches and gorgeous garden. This
card signifies success, manifested all on your own. And remember,
ladies, only genetically female cannabis plants can get you high.

Eight of Pentacles: The Eight of Pentacles is a card of apprenticeship

and shows a man working hard to learn a new skill or master an old one.
Perhaps you can speak a little Spanish—why not fire up the Duolingo
and try to become fluent? Or maybe you know about indicas, sativas, and
hybrids, but it’s time to expand your cannabis knowledge to a more
comprehensive understanding of the various cannabinoids.

Seven of Pentacles: The Seven of Pentacles reminds you of the

importance of the long game. Sure, starting a fight with your partner over
something petty might feel like a fun idea at the moment, but does it
derail you from your real goal, which is to have a happy life with this
person? It takes a cannabis plant three to eight months to grow from a
seed. Learn patience, my dear.

Six of Pentacles: In its most perfect form, the Six of Pentacles shows a
well-executed and harmonious financial system of balance. Perhaps
you’re in a cohabitating relationship, and because one partner makes
more than the other and, as a result, pays more of the rent—and buys
the weed—the other person chips in more with chores. Sometimes, for
the kinksters out there, this card can even represent a healthy D/S
relationship. However, this card can also show an unhealthy balance of
power. Perhaps the partner who makes more money is a total dick about
it. Take an honest assessment of the situation to learn what’s going on for
you.

Five of Pentacles: The Five of Pentacles is a bummer of a card, but

we’ve all been there. It depicts falling on hard times financially, which, as
a result, tends to lead to feeling alone and shitty about yourself. But
you’re not alone, and you will get out of this. Go hang out with your best
friends. Maybe you can’t solve the problem tonight, but you’ll be with
people who love you.

Four of Pentacles: The Four of Pentacles shows a guy protecting his

money as if his life depended on it. Maybe at one point, it did, but by now,
he has enough that he can chill out a little. Look, you’re too old to be
smoking out of a gravity bong you made in college from a water jug. Buy
yourself a proper water pipe, and smoke your friends up while you’re at it.

Three of Pentacles: The Three of Pentacles is a card of collaboration.

To successfully start a cannabis business, you’ll need growers, legal aid,
investors, and a whole lot more than just a group of friends brainstorming
stoned. This card is beautiful because it celebrates the importance of
differences in ideas, but you have to get off your butt and make it
happen.
Two of Pentacles: If you pull a Two of Pentacles, you’re probably
juggling a lot right now. Between work stress, family matters, health
issues, and relationship conflicts, when was the last time you took a
break? Remember, rest is crucial to productivity. So press pause, eat a
massive edible, and let your body rest before you completely burn out
and drop every ball you’re juggling.

Ace of Pentacles: The Ace of Pentacles is an opportunity—not a job, not

fame, not money directly deposited into your bank account, but an
opportunity. It is your duty to seize it.
 High Holidays

Witches know how to get down. And weed witches understand how to take the
ritual of a holiday and elevate it. You may already celebrate Pagan holidays,
whether you know it or not. The Wheel of the Year is an annual cycle of Pagan
seasonal holidays based on the solstices, equinoxes, and the midpoints between
them. This includes the winter solstice (Yule), a celebration of life and rebirth
with an inclination for presents and candlelight. Sound familiar? During
colonization and the spread of Christianity, many Pagan holidays were simply
tweaked to fit a Christian narrative. So Yule became Christmas, and the spring
equinox (Ostara) became Easter. And oh my, all the fun things you can do during
Samhain, aka Halloween! Keep reading to learn the Pagan holidays, their true
witchy origins, and how to party like a weed witch—from costumes to feasts
and, of course, dancing naked around a bonfire.

Winter Solstice
(Yule)
DECEMBER 21–JANUARY 1
Yule, or the winter solstice, is the Pagan celebration many of us now know as
Christmas. It marks the shortest and darkest day of the year, which means that
life only gets brighter after this. Therefore, it is a holiday of death, rebirth,
transformation, and resurrection. Yule is all about stepping out of the dark and
into the light. So go ahead and buy an evergreen tree, regardless of your religion,
if it feels right to celebrate survival, and make a bonfire or light candles to honor
the sun.
ELEVATE IT: Because you already have your tree, why not break out the family
tree? Like modern winter solstice holidays, Yule is best celebrated with kin,
chosen or blood. So to honor plants, fire, and merrymaking, light up some joints
to pass and hopefully open a present.
 Imbolc
FEBRUARY 1–2
The Muggle version of Imbolc is Groundhog Day. While the magical
effectiveness of the groundhog to predict spring remains unclear, Imbolc marks
the halfway point between the winter solstice and the spring equinox, marking
the start of spring. In addition, it’s a holiday for feasting. In Old Irish, Imbolc
translates to “in the belly.” Imbolc is also called Saint Brigid’s Day. Saint Brigid
is a fucking G. Of course, the Catholic Saint Brigid derives from the Pagan
goddess Brigid, “the goddess whom poets adored.” She is the goddess of verse
and of “womanly” arts, such as midwifery (and likely secret abortions), child-
rearing, and caring for animals. Her power is beautiful and healing to all who
seek it.
ELEVATE IT: Because Imbolc is a feast day, you should most certainly celebrate by
partaking in cannabis and throwing a feast—or at least a dinner party. Give your
pets extra attention and consider donating money for refugees, sex workers, or
reproductive rights.

Spring Equinox
(Ostara)
MARCH 20–23
Ostara marks the spring equinox when light and dark (day and night) are equal.
Ostara comes from the Germanic goddess Eostre, and yes, the Christian
interpretation of this holiday is Easter. Eostre is the goddess of fertility, and in
our modern weed witch understanding, this includes sex of any kind between
any genders, regardless of if you want children of your own or not. This is a
beautiful time to cast spells for attracting new love or money, anything that
involves growth.
ELEVATE IT: The spring equinox happens to be the perfect time to begin an
outdoor grow. And, honestly, why not have fun perverting tradition by going on
an elevated Easter egg hunt? Plus, obviously, you should have stoned sex on
Ostara.

Beltane
MAY 1
Beltane is a fiery—and horny—holiday. Halfway between the spring equinox
and summer solstice, Beltane marks the height of spring. Today, we often
celebrate Beltane as May Day. This holiday is all about sex, flower crowns,
giggles, and dancing naked around bonfires to welcome the manifestation of the
new life planted during Ostara.
ELEVATE IT: Get high and dance naked around a bonfire. Oh, and have even more
stoned sex than you did during Ostara. This is a night for orgies.

Summer Solstice
(Litha)
JUNE 19–25
Why, yes, Litha, or the summer solstice, is also midsummer—aka that
psychedelic film where the cheating boyfriend is (spoiler alert) burned to death
in a bear suit while the witch wears a gown of flowers. Litha is the longest day
of the year and when the sun is at its peak. It’s a celebration of life and sun, but
also a time for reflection. Honestly, the summer solstice can sometimes feel Lana
Del Rey–style Summertime Sadness. After all, the days only get shorter and
colder from here. As a result, Litha is an excellent time for reflection, but also—
as always—bonfires and dancing.
ELEVATE IT: Get high by the beach.

Lughnasadh
(Lammas)
SUNSET OF JULY 31–AUGUST 1
Lammas is witch Thanksgiving. It’s the first of the harvest Sabbats, or
celebrations, and a time for feasting. Because the holiday celebrates the grains
and crops grown, it is also a time of gratitude.
ELEVATE IT: Going around the dinner table and saying what you’re thankful for is
actually pretty magical, especially when you’re high. And remember, you get to
choose your family, so just make sure to spend Lammas with people you love.

Autumn Equinox
 (Mabon)
SEPTEMBER 20–23
Mabon, or the autumn equinox, is the second of the harvest Sabbats. But Mabon
is a chill holiday because, once again, light and dark are in balance. Days and
nights are equal. But, knowing that, more darkness is coming. So Mabon is an
ideal time to reflect on what you’ve learned from the past year and think about
how you can evolve based on that knowledge. Like Lammas, this is also a
holiday of gratitude and giving thanks.
ELEVATE IT: Get high (at a level most comfortable for you) and meditate in
candlelight. If you like, work with tarot cards. Use cannabis to calm your mind
and reflect honestly about how you want to improve your life. Get ready to feel
dark and moody, possibly, but know that the wisdom of the journey will be
worth it. Sometimes, cannabis wants us to watch cartoons. Other times, it wants
us to confront our mistakes and learn how to improve. You always deserve
better!

Samhain
(All Hallow’s Eve)
OCTOBER 31
Oh, sweet Samhain. Perhaps the most infamous of witch holidays, Samhain is
the Pagan origin of Halloween. It’s the third and final harvest festival of the year.
During Samhain, the veil between the living and passed is thin. It’s a time for
decadence, dark deeds, and even communicating with the dead. Ancestral work
is powerful during this time, and don’t forget to pray and say hi to your loved
ones on the other side.
ELEVATE IT: Early texts about Samhain pretty much say that if you do not get up
and celebrate this holiday for three days, the gods will come for you. So don’t
stay in. Get dressed up in whatever the fuck you want. Cut loose. Use those
munchies and eat some candy. Grandma says so.
 Moon Phases

Each month, the moon completes a cycle. First, it begins with a dark new
moon. Then, as the Earth moves out of the way, we move into the waxing phase,
where the moon appears to become bigger before finally reaching the powerful
full moon phase. After that, during the waning phase, the moon appears to grow
smaller in the sky until we complete the cycle and return to the new moon.
Astronomers divide the moon cycles up into the new moon, first quarter, full
moon, and last quarter. When the moon is between these stages, it’s considered a
crescent or a gibbous moon. There are four of these secondary phases: waxing
crescent, waxing gibbous, waning gibbous, and waning crescent.
In magic, we use the moon cycles as a form of sympathetic magic—a type of
ritual as old as time that uses objects or actions to symbolically represent the
intention of our spellwork. For instance, as you’ll learn below, while the waxing
phase is excellent for manifestation, the waning phase is best for clearance and
protection. So let’s review the primary four moon stages witches use, complete
with tips on elevating them because you’re not just a witch—you’re a weed
witch.

New Moon
When the sky goes dark with a new moon, it’s a time for new beginnings.
Because the new moon represents the start of a cycle, use the new moon for
spellwork surrounding fresh starts. For instance, if you and your partner have
been bickering a lot lately and you’re ready to break that cycle, the new moon is
a beautiful time for a pink love candle spell to usher in joy. Likewise, it’s also an
ideal lunation to do spellwork asking for a new job or a new partner if you’re
single. If you want to make changes to your health routine, the new moon is an
excellent time to set intentions and do so.
ELEVATE IT: Use the new moon to try a new cannabis strain or intake method. For
instance, if you usually smoke spliffs, try blending your cannabis with dried rose
petals rather than tobacco, and smoke while you perform your love renewal
spell. You can also harness the new moon phase to cast spells surrounding social
justice and cannabis reform.

Waxing Moon
During the waxing moon phase, the moon appears to grow bigger in the sky.
Following sympathetic magic as a result, this lunation is excellent for spellwork
that promotes growth. If you want to grow your bank account or have more sex,
use the waxing moon to increase abundance in your life.
ELEVATE IT: If you’re a lightweight and want to be able to take a hit of a joint at a
party without needing to sit down, the waxing moon phase is an excellent time to
expand your relationship with cannabis safely. Try gently having a little more at
a time somewhere safe, such as at home with a trusted friend or partner present.
While the best time to start growing weed is more about the annual calendar
(February and March tend to be the best months to begin), use the waxing moon
phase to do your research if you’re considering growing your own. It’s also a
promising time to invest in the cannabis industry.

Full Moon
The full moon is a primal time. People tend to be horny, angry, passionate, and
anxious during the full moon. There are even studies that show crime increases
during the full moon. Many folks advise laying low during the full moon so as
not to stir up drama. It’s a great time to relax in a warm bath. But it’s also a
powerful time for culminations and manifestations. Full moons are the best time
to perform sex magic. If you want something and you want it now, like a new
job, hot sex, or a potent love spell, go ahead and cast it during the full moon.
ELEVATE IT: While a full moon may make you want to bust out the dab rig and get
completely blasted, it’s best to go against the grain and use cannabis for
relaxation during this time. Full moons can bring out paranoia in the best of us,
so opt for calming strains high in CBD, add CBD bath bombs to your bath, and
use cannabis to stay grounded.

Waning Moon
As the waxing moon represents growth, the waning moon represents removal.
When the moon appears to grow smaller in the sky, it is a time for spells
surrounding clearance. Use this phase for protection spells and to fight negative
energies, especially if you suspect some meanie wishes you harm. It’s also an
excellent time to do work surrounding removing bad habits, whether that’s
dating the wrong people or drinking too much.
ELEVATE IT: The waning moon is a great time for a tolerance break. Sometimes,
whether it’s for health or financial reasons, we want to cut back on how much
cannabis we consume. This lunation is an excellent time to check in with
yourself about your relationship with cannabis. Conversely, it’s important to
remember that if you are a medical user, a tolerance break is the same thing as
abruptly stopping your meds. Cannabis is a scientifically backed medicine, so
check in with your doctor before reducing your dosage in that case. If you have
internalized guilt surrounding your cannabis use, the waning moon is an ideal
time to work on removing that shame, too.
 Magical Herbs

While weed witches stan cannabis, we also recognize that it’s not the only
important plant in the world. It’s certainly not the only plant to contain
cannabinoids, those delightful plant compounds such as THC and CBD. While
hops, a crucial ingredient in beer, don’t have THC, they do contain cannabinoids
and are a relative of the cannabis plant.
It can be great fun to combine cannabis with other herbs. Unfortunately,
there’s not a ton of research on smoking rose petals or lavender, but people do it
and it can be delightful. Please make sure whatever you’re using is organic and
free of pesticides. And as noted, many of the herbs and plants on this list do mix
merrily but are better suited to tincture, tea, or topical form. Plus, from apples to
basil, not only can you eat many of these plant medicines, but you can also
integrate them into your spellwork.

Aloe Vera: Aloe vera is a soothing, healing, and protective plant. It is

often included in cannabis topicals for its healing effects on the skin.

Apple: Apples represent fertility, growth, and abundance. Remember,

this is the fruit that tempted Eve! You can use apple seeds in your
spellwork, especially to attract love. Plus, if you cut an apple in half, the
seeds create a pentacle. Many resourceful partakers have discovered
that you can also turn an apple into a smoking device.

Arnica: Arnica is another healing herb often added to cannabis topicals

for its ability to soothe bruises, aches, and pains. Magically, it’s used for
protection work—which is precisely what it does for your skin, too.

Basil: While some people do smoke basil, in particular holy basil, for its
stress-relieving properties, it’s probably better on your lungs to enjoy it in
an infused tea or with mozzarella. In traditional herbal medicine, basil is
used to treat the common cold, and magically, witches use it in love
spells.

Chamomile: You can find chamomile spliffs, which also aid in relaxation,
but as with basil, for the sake of your lungs, try to stick with tea. An
infused chamomile tea will bring a rush of relaxation and an epic night’s
sleep. Chamomile is excellent for spellwork that requires calming down a
situation similar to its effects on the body.

Damiana: Damiana is an aphrodisiac, aka a sex herb. You can find it

combined with cannabis in joints and tinctures explicitly created for sex.
Even if you don’t mix it with weed, it’s a wonderful ingredient in spells for
sex.

Echinacea: People do smoke cannabis mixed with echinacea, but try the
immune-booster as an infused tincture or tea. Even if you use it alone, it’s
good for witches to take echinacea to protect us from enemies by
keeping our health strong.

Hops: It just makes sense that this beer ingredient is a relative of

cannabis—it’s like the planet wants us to feel good. Not only do hops
also contain cannabinoids, but they also have the sedating terpene
myrcene, which is found in strains such as OG Kush and Granddaddy
Purp. So you can smoke hops for a sedative effect, or if you’re worried
about lung health, brew some hops tea—ideally infused with cannabis—
but if you do so, stick with just tea rather than beer—you don’t want to get
too crossfaded.

Lavender: Beautiful, calming, purple lavender is lovely mixed with

cannabis if you’re looking for a chilled-out blend. Not only does lavender
look pretty, but it contains the terpene linalool, which is also found in
relaxing strains such as Granddaddy Purp or the even more aptly named
strain Lavender.

Lemon Balm: Lemon balm is a relaxing herb that can be smoked but is
lovely in a tincture. It’s a pleasant sleep aid, so it can be helpful if you
experience insomnia.

Mint: In magical workings, witches use uplifting and refreshing mint for
money-drawing and attraction spells. Mint is perfect in tea and can help
calm the stomach and lift your mood—especially when blended with
cannabis.

Mugwort: Mugwort is a creative herb—and yes, you can use it in spells

to promote creativity. However, it also blends delightfully with cannabis to
create a lucid dream blend. So smoke it before bedtime and see what
exquisite strangeness exists on the other side.

Rose: Blend dried rose petals with cannabis for a romantic aphrodisiac
spliff. In fact, you can even use rose petals instead of tobacco to roll a
rose blunt! In spellwork, add dried roses to love spells, such as a red love
candle spell.

Tobacco: The surgeon general and your doctors have warned you about
the negative health consequences that smoking tobacco can lead to.
However, from spliffs (FYI, in America, we call a cannabis and tobacco
cigarette a spliff, but in Jamaica, a spliff is simply a joint) to blunts, it
would be ignorant to pretend that people don’t couple this plant with
cannabis. Some smokers feel that adding tobacco to cannabis can
counteract sedation, and they use the combination in social situations.
Before we turned tobacco into packs of Marlboros, Indigenous cultures
such as Native Americans used the plant for protection, connecting with
ancestors, and community bonding.

Valerian Root: Valerian root—get it fresh if you can!—is an excellent

antianxiety medicine and sleep aid. It’s preferable in a tincture or tea, but
you can find it in dried capsule form at any pharmacy. Take valerian root
orally, and if you mix it with a weed edible before bed, get ready for some
vivid dreams.
 Witchcraft and Activism

Anyone legitimate in the cannabis industry understands that activism is part of

the job. While white and Black folks use cannabis in equal measure, U.S. law
enforcement arrests Black Americans for violating possession laws at nearly four
times the rates of whites, according to NORML.
Simply put, cannabis is illegal for racist reasons. Much of the hate toward
cannabis started after the Mexican Revolution in the early 1900s, which brought
Mexican immigrants to the United States, who thankfully brought cannabis.
Then, in the 1930s, at the height of reefer madness, anti-cannabis campaigns
claimed that the substance would make Black men sexually violent toward white
women. So, if you’re asking yourself, “Is this whole legal shitstorm due to some
white guys’ sexual insecurities?” the answer is yes.
So, now, we live in a world where 40,000 people are still in U.S. prisons for
cannabis crimes at the time of this writing. Meanwhile, plenty of wealthy
comedians and musicians have been embraced and celebrated for publicly
identifying as stoners. So it’s hard not to think about social equity and giving
back to the communities that gave us cannabis culture in the first place.
It’s a similar narrative to witchcraft. Anyone can be a witch, but you must
understand that historically, from Black Voodoo queens to the women killed for
suspected lesbianism, aka witchcraft, marginalized and othered people have had
to take the heat. For example, historians say that women outnumbered the men
among the victims of the European witch craze 100 to 1. And while the English
may no longer kill people for suspected witchcraft, current witch hunts—and not
the metaphorical kind—still occur in some countries, although it’s hard to get an
exact body count.
While occult practices have existed worldwide throughout history, much of
what we know today comes from African religions brought to North America by
enslaved people. And, for the record, the iconic Rider-Waite tarot deck was
illustrated by Pamela Colman Smith, a biracial Jamaican and English woman
who also had romantic relationships with other women. Supervised by a white
man—mystic A. E. Waite—the deck may appear heteronormative and white, but
the artist behind it is not. And the infamous turn-of-the-twentieth-century
occultist Aleister Crowley lifted much of his teachings from Egyptians—unless
you buy his bit about being contacted by a supernatural entity named Aiwass,
who gave him the wisdom to write The Book of the Law, perhaps his most
famous text and the basis for his religion Thelema.
I write all of this fully aware that I’m a white woman and have benefited
from these inequities, too. So, regardless of your race, gender, or orientation,
how can you include necessary activism into your practice if you’re a witch?
You may have read about hexes against people like former president Donald
Trump. As someone who’s resurrected Ronald Reagan with the pure intent of
dragging him, I can confirm that those things are fun and there is value in
making news headlines. Hopefully, there may also be countless unspoken bloody
rituals being performed against evil world leaders by secret covens right this
second. However, I suggest starting on a smaller scale, especially if you’re new
to the weed witch life.
At times, you may find yourself drawn to deities you didn’t grow up with.
For instance, let’s say that your parents are Christians, but you only ever
connected with the Hindu dark mother goddess Kali. That’s okay, but educate
yourself. Always make sure that you’re practicing cultural appreciation and not
cultural appropriation. Notice the people you’re buying tarot decks and crystals
from. It’s hard to hate on someone if they want to treat themself to a rose quartz
yoni egg from Goop, but understand that there are plenty of small businesses,
many of which are owned by BIPOC witches who could use your money, too.
Honestly, even take notice of those you follow on social media. In today’s
economy, followers are currency. You can at least afford to follow and amplify
marginalized creators.
One of the hardest things to do is take a good hard look at your friend group
—or coven, if you’re in one. If it starts to feel so rooted in moon cycles that
TERFs would fit right in, consider branching out or forming a more inclusive
one. This isn’t even about virtue signaling—your practice will become better
with diversity. So will the world.
There is no one right way to be an activist. For example, some of us have the
budget to donate to organizations that support Indigenous people, which is an
excellent thing for a witch to do, while others of us need every last penny to pay
rent. During the summer of 2020, some of us went to the streets to march for
Black Lives Matter, while others of us were immunocompromised and didn’t
have that option because a COVID-19 vaccine wasn’t available yet. The
important thing is that you stay educated and get involved in a way that works
for you. For those interested in learning more about witchcraft and activism, I
recommend Revolutionary Witchcraft: A Guide to Magical Activism by my
friend and coven sister Sarah Lyons. The Reagan resurrection was performed at
her book launch; I took him and she went for Margaret Thatcher.
 NO 2

CANNABIS QUEEN

Hey, queen, did you know that the CBD strain Charlotte’s Web is named after a
real weed witch, Charlotte Figi, who went from 300 seizures a week to just a few
a month after using the strain and, as a result, put CBD on the map? Without
Figi, CBD wouldn’t be famous; it would just be a hippie’s disappointment
because it didn’t get you high. While learning the A–Zs of cannabis, don’t forget
about trimmigrants, and bonus points if you can already guess what that means.
If you’re new to cannabis—or even if you are an experienced medical user—
you may have some questions. You should always ask questions. For instance,
can cannabis affect your ability to give consent? Sure, it can, but with the right
partner, it can also give you the best consensual sex of your life. And while
we’re on challenging topics, I’m going to break down the differences between
indicas and sativas for you, but only if you promise not to cry when you learn
that a lot of that labeling is kind of an illusion. But back to reality: Did you know
our body has a built-in system, called the endocannabinoid system, which is how
we get high? Oh, you’re going to like this. Light a joint and keep reading.
 Assassin of Youth to Zig-Zags:
A–Z Cannabis Terms Every Weed Witch Needs to Know

It’s time to learn the A–Zs of cannabis. Now, weed witches, the word cannabis
isn’t on this list, as you should know that already. Nor are pot, dope, or even
THC. Nor are the more scientific parts to the equation, such as the
endocannabinoid system, because that’s got its own section. This A–Z glossary
is for all the cannabis terms that you should know but won’t learn in any 101
articles you find on the internet. You deserve better.

A is for Assassin of Youth: Assassin of Youth is a 1937 American anti-

cannabis propaganda film that pretty much rips off Reefer Madness. It
depicts cannabis use leading to violence and *gasp* partying. The film’s
title is from a 1937 article by U.S. drug czar Harry J. Anslinger.

B is for Bowl: Unlike what I thought in high school, when someone

offered me a bowl, they’re not offering you cereal. Instead, a bowl refers
to the part of a pipe or bong that holds the cannabis. It’s also slang for
the pipe itself.

C is for Charlotte’s Web: Charlotte’s Web is a high-CBD, low-THC,

relatively nonpsychoactive medical cannabis extract. Once upon a time,
the strain was called “Hippie’s Disappointment” because it wouldn’t get
you high. What we call Charlotte’s Web was developed in Colorado and
named after Dravet syndrome patient Charlotte Figi, who went from 300
seizures a week to just a few a month after using CBD oil derived from
the strain. She lived long past her life expectancy, and her quality of life
improved beyond measure. Sadly, Figi passed of COVID-19 in 2020, but
we will honor her contributions to the field forever.
D is for Ditch Weed: Ditch weed refers to shitty-ass weed containing
stems and seeds, primarily sold in ziplock bags.

E is for Emperor Wears No Clothes: The Emperor Wears No Clothes:

Hemp & the Marijuana Conspiracy is a 1985 book written by cannabis
rights legend Jack Herer during the Reagan administration. Herer uses
science to fight against propaganda and discusses cannabis as a
renewable fuel source, food, fiber, and medicine—and social relaxant,
and there’s nothing wrong with that!

F is for Florist: Florists are drug dealers, or the friendly people who sold
weed before it was legal. The quote “Weed is not a drug; it’s a plant.
Therefore, I’m not a drug dealer, I’m a florist” comes from the 2001
classic film How High starring Redman and Method Man.

G is for Ganja: Ganja is a slang term predominantly used in Jamaica by

Rastafarians, who consider cannabis a holy sacrament. They believe that
the Tree of Life mentioned in the Bible is, in fact, cannabis, and that it
often appears in the text, such as "Eat every herb of the land" (Exodus
10:12) and "The herb is the healing of the nations" (Revelation 22:2).

H is for High Times: High Times is the iconic cannabis publication

started in 1974, back when writing about cannabis rights was radical.

I is for Irie: Irie is a Jamaican term that means feeling calm and alright.

J is for Just Say No: In the 1980s, First Lady Nancy Reagan launched
her infamous Just Say No antidrug campaign as part of the insidious War
on Drugs. Just say no utterly misguided social policies like this one.

K is for Kief: Kief refers to the ground-up teeny-tiny cannabis bits left
over in your grinder, sometimes created as an act of the goddess, other
times intentionally. Kief is highly potent, as it’s mostly the crystallized
trichomes—which get you hella high.
L is for “Legalize It”: While “Legalize It” is also obviously a pro-
legalization slogan, it’s also a song by reggae legend Peter Tosh, initially
recorded in 1975. The track was banned in Jamaica when it was
released but still played on repeat. It’s an anthem, and if you have ill
feelings toward reggae, it’s likely because you’re white and only grew up
with bands like Sublime or seeing Bob Marley black-light posters in
Spencer’s. Reggae has championed cannabis long before most of you
were alive, is crucial to Caribbean culture, and is worth getting into.

M is for Ma: Ma, or má, is the Chinese term for cannabis. Mota is the
Spanish word for cannabis.

N is for Narcs: Narcs are undercover drug agents or informants. Don’t

be a narc.

O is for Operation Pipe Dreams: Operation Pipe Dreams was the code
name for a 2003 U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration investigation
targeting businesses selling pipes and bongs—not even weed! It cost the
taxpayers more than $12 million and landed fifty-five people in prison,
including cannabis activist and actor Tommy Chong of Cheech and
Chong.

P is for Proposition 215: Proposition 215 is a historic California law

enacted by voters in 1996, called the Compassionate Use Act. It’s the
first state law allowing medical use of cannabis in the United States.

Q is for Quartz: If you’re already a witch, you may know that rose quartz
is a crystal to promote love, healing, and sweet self-care. These days,
they make beautiful rose quartz pipes that every weed witch should own.
Quartz is also a common material in dabbing tools, as it can withstand
hot temperatures. (Dabs are a form of cannabis concentrate. It looks like
beautiful, crystallized amber and is typically smoked using a rig and high
heat. As a result, dabs get you delightfully high quite rapidly.)
R is for Rastafarianism: Rastafarianism, or Rastafari, is a religion and
social movement that started in Jamaica during the 1930s. The
Afrocentric faith believes (rightfully!) that cannabis is a sacrament.

S is for Shisha: Shisha is the Arabic word for hookah, a traditional water
pipe for smoking cannabis, although hookahs are also used for tobacco.
Sometimes the two are combined!

T is for Trimmigrant: Trimmigrants are cannabis industry migrant

workers who flock to the Emerald Triangle of Northern California each
summer to trim cannabis plants. They prune buds by trimming off the
leaves. The industry needs to treat its trimmigrants well and with respect.

U is for Up in Smoke: Up in Smoke is a must-see classic cannabis film

made in 1978 starring the aforementioned Cheech and Chong. There
would be no Seth Rogen without Cheech and Chong.

V is for Viper: In the golden days of jazz, politicians were using the
sexual appeal of Black musicians to convince people that cannabis was
evil. Viper was a slang term for someone who used cannabis back then.
Now, stoned jazz musicians are a gift from God and that whole campaign
was racist as hell, but the term viper is pretty sick, and we should
consider reclaiming it.

W is for Wake and Bake: To wake and bake is to get high as soon as
you wake up. Historically, it’s frowned upon as lazy stoner behavior, but if
you use cannabis therapeutically, don’t forget to take your morning meds,
honey, and don’t you dare feel bad about it.

X is for X, or XTC: These are a few of the slang terms for ecstasy, which
contains the molecule MDMA. Molly, ecstasy, and MDMA are also used
interchangeably these days. While X is not weed (duh), it also has
promise as medicine, and it is currently in phase 3 trials and expected to
gain FDA approval for the treatment of PTSD by late 2023. Oh, the magic
that awaits us when we finally research psychoactive substances.

Y is for You: You are the most essential ingredient in your magic and
your relationship with cannabis. You can read every book out there and
keep track of each medical study, but at the end of the day, the only way
to truly learn the best methods of intake, strains, and consumption
models for you is through careful exploration.

Z is for Zig-Zags: Zig-Zags are the most iconic rolling papers on Earth.
 Forbidden Fruit FAQs

Now, I know the industries are rebranding to a more commercial and safe
aesthetic, but we’re still talking about drugs and witchcraft here. It’s
understandable if you have some questions, so here are the rawest answers to the
scariest questions, like the truth about cannabis and consent and stoned driving.

Can cannabis kill you?

As a stoner, it’s hard not to laugh and imagine a dank bud wielding a massive
knife when I hear this, but here’s the honest answer: No, it is almost impossible
to overdose from cannabis as one would from opioids or even alcohol. You can,
however, get into an accident while driving high. There’s an old joke that asks,
“What’s the difference between a drunk driver and a high driver? Well, the drunk
driver speeds through the stop sign, while the high driver sits and waits for the
stop sign to turn green.” In reality, you shouldn’t drive high; you could crash and
die. If you venture too far on foot while stoned, you could also fall off a
mountain or get hit by a car crossing the street. You could also overeat weed,
spin into paranoia, and call an ambulance for yourself when it’s just gas. I’ve
seen it happen. All that is to say, use responsibly, and you will still die, but for
unrelated reasons. Sorry to be harsh, but witches need a healthy relationship with
death.
 Is cannabis addictive?
Again, cannabis is not physically addictive in the same way heroin or meth is
addictive. But humans are pretty good at finding ways to abuse just about
everything. It is possible to use cannabis to escape rather than tune in, and plenty
of people do it. Cannabis users have a responsibility to regularly check in with
themselves to ensure the relationship is healthy, just as you would with your
romantic partner.

Can cannabis affect your ability to consent?

Getting too high probably won’t cause you to black out, but anything that’s
psychoactive and lowers inhibitions can affect your ability to give consent. So, if
you’re getting high at a party, on a first date, or anywhere out of your comfort
zone, it’s always best to play it safe, start low, and go slow. While a couple in a
long-term committed relationship may feel safe in this realm, you should always
disclose what substances you’re taking, especially with a new partner, and check
in with them as well.

Thanks. Now, enough about scary topics. How

can cannabis enhance sex?
Oh, I’m so glad you asked. Let’s start with the physical. Cannabis is a
vasodilator, which means that it enhances blood flow. That means that if you
enjoy having orgasms, wait until you meet stoned orgasms. Cannabis enhances
all senses, including touch, so many witches find that sex is just better stoned.
When I have sex high, it becomes a spiritual and almost psychedelic experience.
I have work breakthroughs while I come and energetically understand when a
dick needs to be sucked. It’s great.
There are some cool cannabis pleasure products on the market for sex, such
as suppositories and topicals. It’s important to note that there need to be mucous
membranes present for an effect to happen. That means that if you want to get
high from putting weed on your junk, you’ll need a vulva or anus. Penises lose
out in this one area. But remember, these products are often made with just CBD
and are more about pain relief and arousal than getting high. Plus, if you really
want to get someone high, you can put THC oil on your genitals and then have
your partner go down on you. You turn yourself into the edible; it’s magic.
But let’s go back to that pain-relief point. If you have a vagina and
experience pain during intercourse, you should consider trying some cannabis
topicals or suppositories. And if you like anal sex but want to make it more
comfortable, a suppository is your best friend. But you don’t even need
penetration to enjoy the sensual effects of a cannabis topical. Ask your partner to
use some to give you a foot massage.
But, as the sexperts say—and they’re right—the biggest sex organ is the
brain. So beyond physical pleasure, cannabis can help you open up emotionally
and heighten mental and emotional connections with your partner—or yourself,
if you’re masturbating. The rumors are true; cannabis does lower inhibitions.
While this means you have to discuss consent extra carefully, it also means that
you’re more likely to finally ask for that doctor/patient role-play fantasy of
yours. In addition, research suggests that cannabis can lower negative bias,
which helps us see the glass half-full. So, while on a regular day, you may only
notice if they talk about their ex, act contrarian, or drink all the coffee, getting
high can help you remember why you love them.
Should your inhibitions melt away, get ready to get kinky because cannabis
can also help promote creativity—as if Bob Marley, Bill Gates, and Rihanna
didn’t already remind you of that. Evidence suggests it works best for creativity
—or more specifically, divergent thinking, the thought process that helps us
make connections between seemingly unrelated topics—if taken at lower doses,
so once again, start low and go slow.
 Can I date someone who doesn’t smoke weed?
Absolutely! You should date anyone who treats you well, turns you on, and
makes you happy. Would you date someone who wasn’t a witch, even if they
were supportive and loving? Of course. So, as long as your partner is accepting,
it’s fine to fall for someone with a different relationship to substances.
Everyone’s body works differently.

Why is weed illegal?

As discussed in the witchcraft and activism section, much of the United States’
negative associations with cannabis began at the turn of the twentieth century,
when Mexican migration brought the plant to the country and it became
associated with immigrants—which, as our government still frustratingly
demonstrates, are considered a threat. But the evilest man in prohibition history
is Harry J. Anslinger, the head of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics during the
1930s, who was very threatened by Black men. As noted, he was mainly worried
that weed would lead white women to have sex with Black men. Then, thanks to
propaganda films such as Reefer Madness (1936), Anslinger pushed through the
Marihuana Tax Act in 1937, and cannabis became illegal. Even back then,
scientists were like, “no, dude, this drug is pretty chill,” but the man had an
agenda to run.
In 1969, the Marihuana Tax Act was replaced by the Controlled Substances
Act, which classified marijuana as a Schedule I drug (for context, cocaine is only
Schedule II).

Will it ever be legal on a federal level?

It’s looking that way. But feel free to do a spell to help make this happen faster.

So why can I buy CBD everywhere if weed is

illegal?
Thanks to the 2018 Farm Act, it is legal to grow hemp—which is honestly just
weed with less than 0.3 percent THC—in all fifty states. The upside is CBD; the
downside is a lot of low-quality CBD products. Look for CBD products that are
full-spectrum, which means that all of the other good-for-you phytocannabinoids
are in there, even if just in small quantities. Additionally, opt for products with
third-party testing, which means that someone other than the company itself took
a look at the product to ensure its quality.
By the way, many CBD retail spaces and companies are just holding real
estate or trying to maintain your attention until we finally legalize cannabis
federally and they can cash in on the harder stuff.

What’s up with concentrates?

Historically, we think of stinky, sticky, green nugs when we think of weed. This
is flower, greens, whole flower, pot, dope: all terms for the actual flower buds of
the plant medicine known as cannabis that get you high. You can smoke buds in
a bowl, in a bong like Cheech and Chong, in some vapes, and in baking recipes.
But although hash is a cannabis concentrate smoked for centuries, recently and
thanks to legalization efforts and new cannabis technology and innovation,
concentrates have made a bigger name for themselves.
Concentrates is an umbrella term that refers to cannabis extracts, including
shatter, wax, oils, etc. The concentrate’s name depends on what it looks like and
its texture, so diamonds, a sparkling form of concentrate, look just like jewels—
a glamorous choice for a weed witch. We extract most of these forms using
carbon dioxide, hydrocarbons, water, alcohol, and heat—and you should leave
this complicated process to the expert cannabis scientists and manufacturers.
However, some people are nervous about consuming any solvents. Therefore,
solventless extracts are made using only water—like hash is made!—or heat.
There’s also been concern about how dangerous concentrates can be—
particularly oil for vaping. It’s true that vitamin E, which is harmful to consume,
has been found in bootleg vapes. It’s also true that we need more research on
concentrates. However, if you buy from a reputable dispensary, safety shouldn’t
be an issue. Talk to your budtender or pharmacist to find the best concentrate for
you and review any safety concerns. This is another reason we need federal
legalization so that everyone has access to safe cannabis.
P.S.: Concentrates can be pretty strong in THC content, so be careful,
darlings!
 Do I need a medical card?
If you live in a medical state and qualify for a medical condition—which differs
state by state but includes everything from PTSD to Crohn’s disease—in my
opinion, it’s worth it to get a card. Life becomes much easier when you have safe
access to a dispensary and knowledgeable pharmacists. That being said, you
don’t need a medical condition to benefit from cannabis. It’s a form of self-care.
Government lists are limited and often political, and everyone deserves to treat
themselves with this plant medicine.

What happens if I get too high?

An herbalist specializing in cannabis once told me to take CBD oil to counteract
the side effects of too much THC, but other researchers contradict this and say
doing so could enhance the impact. The best way to avoid getting too high—and
an edible far above your tolerance category can indeed bring on paranoia and
even time travel—is to start low and go slow. Have a single puff. Start with
eating just a 5 mg or even a 2.5 mg edible.
But let’s be real. At some point, we’re all going to get too high. As a medical
patient for a decade with a decent tolerance, I love to let a macrodose (even
accidental) take over and try to ride the wave. It will pass, and you will be okay.
This is why it’s so crucial to use cannabis with people you trust. If you get too
high at a party, confide in a friend, take a cab home, eat some nachos, and watch
your favorite movie until you’re ready to go to sleep. Listening to your favorite
music can also help make feeling too high more comfortable, as can
concentrating on your breath, meditation, or even a hot shower or bath.
 Sativa, Indica, and Hybrids

Even Tucker Carlson has heard of indicas, sativas, and hybrids. They are a
simple and easy classification system for cannabis; however, like everything in
life, the truth is far more complicated.
These terms go back to the mid-1700s. In 1753, Swedish botanist and
posthumously crowned weed witch Carl Linnaeus identified psychoactive
cannabis plants as Cannabis sativa. However, thirty-two years later, the French
biologist Jean-Baptiste Lamarck noticed that some cannabis plants have broader,
darker leaves than the light and narrow cannabis leaves associated with
Cannabis sativa. He called these babies indicas. So what are the associated
properties, why are some folks calling these terms outdated, and how can I know
more about cannabis categories than Tucker Carlson? Keep reading.

Sativa
Sativas’ reputation is for creating energizing, stimulating, and cerebral effects,
like the Adderall of weed. Sativa plants indeed have lighter and skinnier leaves.
They also tend to do better in warmer climates, such as Jamaica. Sativas also
have longer flowering cycles and grow taller than indicas. Popular sativa strains
include Sour Diesel (New York City’s favorite), Green Crack, and Grapefruit.
Ask your budtender or dealer for a sativa if you want a euphoric yet
activating experience. However, as we cover in other sections, many other
factors are at play. While people sometimes say that sativa tends to have more
THC and indica tends to have more CBD, that’s not always the case. There are
plenty of low-THC sativas and many indicas with so much THC you will
experience couchlock. Other factors, such as where and how the plant was
grown, terpenes, and the intake method, will change your experience. Ideally, an
experienced budtender or pharmacist will be able to show you a complete
cannabinoid profile of any strain before you buy it. But, before the country goes
legal and everyone has access to nice dispensaries, if you’re buying your weed
from a friend or some dude in a car and want an energizing option, say the word
“sativa.” It’s like a spell; the word’s power gives it meaning.

Indica
Indicas’ reputation is one of relaxation, with a sedating high, like the Xanax of
weed. They are shorter than sativa plants, with thick stems and broad, deep-
green leaves. They also have short flowering cycles and grow best in colder
climates, like the infamous Emerald Triangle of Northern California—although
you’ll find plenty of sativa plants there now, too.
Popular indica strains include Grandaddy Purple, Northern Lights, and Hindu
Kush. The same rules apply as with sativas. While you really want a complete
strain profile to create a couture cannabis experience tailored to your needs,
speaking in broad strokes, ask for indica if you want something calming.

Hybrids
Okay, I think that you’re ready to handle the truth: Pretty much everything that
we’re smoking today is a hybrid. It’s rare to find a plant that doesn’t contain
some genetic cross of indicas and sativas. Sure, there are indica- or sativa-
dominant strains, but you’re getting high on hybrids. But, because it’s fun, let’s
talk about hybrids’ reputation.
Hybrids are the bisexuals of the cannabis world, the speedballs if you will.
They offer varied and sometimes unpredictable effects of both indicas and
sativas. Popular hybrid strains include Gelato, Blue Dream, and Girl Scout
Cookies. And, because basically all cannabis is hybrid (just like all witches are
bi—kidding, but not), this is why it’s so important to figure out what the best
weed is for you through careful experimentation. Strains aside, everybody reacts
to cannabis differently. So pick your poison, start low and go slow, and talk to
your local budtender, pharmacist, or weed witch about finding the best kind for
you. You’ll likely end up enjoying a variety of experiences or find that certain
strains work better with different experiences. For example, you don’t always
want to smoke the same thing before bed that you’d enjoy at a party.
 All About the Endocannabinoid System

Now, here’s something truly magical. Our bodies have a built-in transmitter
system, called the endocannabinoid system (ECS), which gets us high. Of
course, it also does many other things, such as regulating memory, emotional
processing, and inflammatory and immune responses. But the most important
chunk of knowledge is that the ECS is crucial in maintaining homeostasis in the
body.
As with most things relating to cannabis, we need more research on the ECS.
It consists of three key components. The first is the cannabinoid receptors found
on the surface of cells. There are two significant cannabinoid receptors: CB1 and
CB2. CB1 receptors are found primarily in the brain and are the guys that
interact with THC and get you high. Additionally, they help regulate the activity
of other neurotransmitters, making them the cannabis-friendly mom in your
brain.
The second type, CB2 receptors, primarily exist in the immune system
outside of the nervous system. They aid in immune functions, such as
inflammation, inflammatory bowel condition, and other intestinal issues.
However, CB2 receptors do not get you high, and as a result, there’s more
research on them.
Next up in the ECS are the endocannabinoids. You’ll notice the word
cannabinoids here, which means compounds found in cannabis. More
specifically, phytocannabinoids refer to cannabinoids found in plants. The
endocannabinoids, which our bodies create, activate cannabinoid receptors and
have a very similar structure to those found in cannabis plants. There are two
major endocannabinoids: anandamide and 2-AG.
Anandamide sounds like a spell, which makes sense, as it was named after
the Sanskrit word ananda for bliss. When we use cannabis, it is through this
cellular setup, which humans have had forever—and which explains why there’s
evidence of cannabis use dating back 5,000 years. The other significant
endocannabinoid is called 2-arachidonoylglycerol (2-AG).
 Finally, the third component of the ECS is metabolic enzymes that break
down endocannabinoids after they are used. These babies are remarkable
because, unlike other molecular signals in the body, such as hormones, they
clean out of your body right away, ensuring that endocannabinoids are only used
as necessary. And from fighting inflammation to PTSD treatment to tackling
chronic pain, the ECS is one of the most vital systems in the body. And it just so
happens to also get you high, in case you needed another reason to understand
that using cannabis is as natural as getting jealous over another witch’s outfit.
 Methods of Intake

As you continue on your weed witch journey, you will find that different forms
of magic speak to you. Perhaps astrology has your heart, or you completely fall
in love with tarot. If you like baking and getting messy, you will probably love
kitchen witch spells, and if you understand that vanity is a delightful sin, bring
on the glamour magic and the great skin. You may also love topicals, as cannabis
has anti-inflammatory properties that nourish and protect the skin. There are
many ways to enjoy cannabis, from classic joints and pipes to high-tech dabbing
rigs and delicious edibles. Let’s review them all to help you find what works best
for you and your practice.

Inhalation
Inhalation methods include any form of smoke or vapor. They’re great because
the effects kick in almost instantly, which is helpful if you want to get high right
away but not have it last for hours. When inhaled, cannabis smoke or vapor
enters your lungs, where the cannabinoids are absorbed into the bloodstream.
The only downside is that while research has shown cannabis smoke is safer
than cigarette smoke, it’s still smoke, so if you’re concerned about your lung
health, opt for another intake method. One downside is the smell, so be careful if
you have snitches for neighbors.
Standard inhalation methods include the following:

Blunt: Blunts are cannabis cigarettes rolled using cigar paper, or as you’ll
find in this book, roses made into rolling paper.

Bongs and Bubblers: A bong is a water pipe, meaning the cannabis

smoke is cooled and filtered through water, and yes, this book teaches
you how to bless your bong water under the full moon. Water filtration
can offer a smoother pull, but beware, bongs get you hella stoned.
Bubblers are water pipes, too, like a bong but cuter and more petite.

Dabs: Dabbing refers to a way of consuming concentrated cannabis,

which is discussed further in Forbidden Fruit FAQs. Dabs rig heat
concentrates at high temperatures, and you often need a blowtorch, so
it’s a baller way to get high. (Please practice fire safety!) The high of dabs
are instantaneous and intense.

Joint: A joint is a classic cannabis cigarette, and bonus points if you can
roll your own. This is the OG way to enjoy grass. Pre-rolled joints are
increasingly available as legalization spreads for all the weed witches
with shaky hands who suck at rolling their own. Joints rock to bring
people together during social events: puff-puff-pass is one of the most
sacred rituals.

Pipe: Pipes may be even more OG than rolling papers. Whether it was
made from glass and passed to you by a high school crush or even made
out of a soda can as kids did in the olden days of the aughts, pipes come
in more sizes, forms, and colors than all the dildos in the world. They’re
flameproof, often made with glass, and contain a bowl for ground flower,
a mouthpiece, and a carb, a hole that clears the chamber as you smoke.

Spliff: In the U.S., a spliff is traditionally a joint containing cannabis

mixed with tobacco. However, you can make spliffs using other herbs,
such as mugwort, which we’ll use to perform a spell for lucid dreaming. In
Jamaica, the heart of ganja culture, a spliff simply refers to a joint.

Vaporizer: Vaporizers, or vapes, use heat to turn cannabis flowers,

cartridges, or concentrates—there are so many types of vapes!—into
vapor rather than smoke. Like inhalation, the effects of vaping cannabis
are pretty instant; however, vapes tend to be slightly less intense than
smoking. One weed witch I know refers to vapes as “diet weed,” but
they’re great for concerts or any place that you want to maintain a
delicate high but not stink up the room.

Edibles
Edibles: Edibles can transform an hour-long sex session into
multidimensional orgasms or turn a concert into three hours of
heightened euphoria. Edibles take up to an hour and a half to provide full
effects and last for several hours. The downside is that if you don’t use
responsibly, you can get stuck feeling too high for too long. Don’t worry.
This book provides tips on avoiding that in the Forbidden Fruit FAQs
section.
Tincture: Tinctures are alcohol- or oil-based cannabis extracts, often
used sublingually (under the tongue) or added to beverages such as teas
or infused mocktails. Sublingual effects kick in after fifteen minutes, but it
will take up to an hour and a half for you to feel the full effect. So they can
be seen as a milder version of edibles.

Topicals
Topicals: Topicals are body creams or oils that are nonpsychoactive, as
they don’t enter the bloodstream—unless you use them on your vulva,
anus, or anywhere with mucous membranes. But just because topicals
don’t get you high doesn’t mean that they don’t have magical properties.
They reduce inflammation, pain, and muscle aches, making them great to
apply to bruises, use as a skin mask, or enjoy during a massage. Today
they even make CBD foot pads to wear while you’re rocking killer high
heels.
 NO 3

STONED SPELLS FOR LOVE &

SEX

Honestly, what else is there to life but sex and weed? Anyone who grew up
listening to Snoop Dogg understands. And while Snoop is undoubtedly a
cannabis god, so are you—and a sex witch at that. And, while life is indeed more
fun when you believe in magic, it doesn’t hurt when there’s some science to back
it up. First, let’s get physical. Weed can reduce pain without numbing you out,
which is why cannabis suppositories are great for helping you enjoy anal sex.
Cannabis is also an anti-inflammatory, meaning that it’s incredible for erotic
massages or making any penetrative sex more comfortable. And because it’s a
vasodilator—meaning it increases blood flow—getting high can amplify
orgasms, which will aid in your sex magic practice.
But we’re more than our bodies, and so is sex. After all, any sex scientist will
tell you that the most important sex organ is the brain. Cannabis can gently lower
inhibitions, helping you open up about your kinks to your partner—and with the
help of the tarot, we’re going to cast a spell for that. Plant magic, both with
cannabis and with other flowers such as roses, is also an intimacy tool, helping
you see the best in your partner and get it on while growing closer. So let’s cast
some stoned sex spells, witch.
 Stoned Sex Magic

You may have heard of sex magic, an alluring term sure to cause your
conservative relatives to clutch their pearls. Sex magic simply refers to
harnessing the power of sexual energy—in particular, orgasms—for
manifestation.
Problematic occultist Aleister Crowley popularized the practice. “Each
individual has an absolute right to satisfy his sexual instinct as is physiologically
proper for him. The one injunction is to treat all such acts as sacraments. One
should not eat as the brutes, but in order to enable one to do one’s will. The same
applies to sex. We must use every faculty to further the one object of our
existence,” he wrote in his 1904 The Book of the Law.
When we think about sex magic, we naturally think about sex. However, you
can use this form of magic to get whatever you want. For instance, if you’re
interested in making more money or getting ahead at work, you can throw your
orgasm toward that goal. You can absolutely use sex magic to summon an ideal
partner or encourage your current one to propose, but don’t be afraid to come for
money or power and magically orgasm your way to the top, too.
Because cannabis is a vasodilator, it increases blood flow, including to
erogenous zones. And because it also relieves pain yet heightens senses, many
folks find that orgasms are even better when your mind, body, and spirit are
elevated by cannabis. There are even studies that suggest all genders report
experiencing better orgasms while high. Sex magic is powerful. Stoned sex
magic takes it to the next level.
If you are dating another witchy stoner, you can practice sex magic together.
However, many witches prefer to practice solo. For one thing, it can be
distracting to have someone else around while you’re trying to get off while
casting a spell. Second, some witches find it unethical to involve a lover in
magical plots without their consent. And even worse, what if you do tell them
what you’re up to, and they laugh at you? Mood ruined. So, for the sake of you
and to make this spell as inclusive as possible, let’s stick with masturbation.
Ingredient list: Your favorite form of cannabis (I suggest edibles, as they
offer full-body euphoria), and a sex toy if you like

Weed witch wisdom: While this spell works anytime, the full moon is a
primal, horny, ideal time for sex magic.

Casting the Spell

• Visualization is the most essential part of this spell and a crucial skill
for all witches to learn. Before you get naughty, practice visualizing
your desires. For instance, if you imagine yourself on the red carpet,
what are you wearing? How do you feel? Is there arm candy on your
shoulder? Get that image in your head down to the last detail.
• Eat your weed, witch. While you wait for the effects to take hold, get
comfy and sexy. Put on your favorite lingerie or simply get naked, and
put on some mood music. Set and setting—a phrase used by the
psychedelic community to describe the importance of your mindset
and surroundings—matter, even if you’re the only one there.
• When the edibles begin to kick in, it’s time to get off. While orgasms
are welcome, they are not required. You can still do this spell if you
don’t always make it to the finish line. Whether that’s due to sexual
trauma, medication side effects, or simply the roll of the dice, not all of
us can always orgasm, but that doesn’t make your sexual energy any
less potent.
• Grab your sex toy if you’re using one, or begin touching yourself. It’s
okay to think about sexual imagery rather than the goal of the spell
during this step. You will blast the universe with your practiced
visualization once you’re finishing. So, to get there, think of your
dirtiest fantasy, and don’t hold back.
• When you begin to get close, switch on your witch visualization. See
yourself there on the red carpet, wearing your red-bottomed Christian
Louboutins, or whatever it is you wish to manifest.
• Once you come or reach whatever peak you can, the spell is
complete. Enjoy the afterglow.
 Erotic Mindfulness with Cannabis

Sex magic is shamelessly using sex to get what you want, whether that’s
money or a new partner. But witches like lovemaking, too. Sometimes, though,
you’re in bed with your partner and it can be hard to be fully in the moment. Life
is S-T-R-E-S-S-F-U-L, and sometimes our brains can shoot intrusive thoughts at
us during sex like a sniper. As a result, you miss out on some of the intimacy of
sex with a partner.
It’s important to learn your tolerance levels because too much THC can make
some people anxious, and paranoia is not orgasm-friendly, no matter what kink
you’re into. But the proper elevation can help you anchor yourself in the now,
take advantage of your enhanced senses and lowered emotional walls, so you
can have the best fucking sex of your life.
This marijuana mindfulness spell can help. Plus, if you enjoy the ritual, feel
free to apply it to other areas of your life, too. Enchanting your weed is a
reasonably straightforward spell.

Ingredient list: Whole flower cannabis, a lover, a night of lovemaking

Weed witch wisdom: The goal of mindfulness is to be present for each

moment of your life. Therefore, it only makes sense to cast this spell as
much as possible.

Casting the Spell

• Gently open up your stash jar before you fill your joint or light your
bowl. (You don’t want to directly handle cannabis buds too much
because the oil on your hands can wash away the trichomes, the
crystals with all the THC.) Then, tell your flower three times, “I will be
 present for this sex. Lovemaking is a sacred act; with your help I’ll be
there for it all. Bless this primal bond; let’s go get it on.”
• Remember, you can talk to plants all you want, but you are the magic.
You’ve cast the spell; now follow through. Go experience your lover
and let them experience you.
• During sex, harness the imaginative power of cannabis to visualize a
beautiful cord entwining you and your lover. Perhaps it looks like a
garland of roses or a sparkling golden rope. Use this as an anchor,
and visualize it whenever your mind conspires to take you elsewhere.
• Eye contact, concentrating on your breathing, and paying attention to
all five senses are additional useful erotic mindfulness tools.
• Enjoy. Repeat as desired.
 Make Your Own Soothing Post-Sex
Topical

Sex bruises happen. Don’t worry, dear gynecologist, all of those inner thigh
bite marks were entirely consensual. Whether you’re into impact play, making
love to vampires, or just like it rough, sometimes sex leaves a mark. And some
kinky folks even like that! But it would be best if you still took care of your
beautiful body. Aftercare is a term used within BDSM communities that
describes taking care of one another after sex. This can include everything from
cuddles to communication—and cannabis topicals!
Because cannabis contains both pain-relieving and anti-inflammatory
properties, it’s amazing to apply on aches and bruises and can speed up recovery
time while reducing pain and swelling. While there are many available for sale,
and there’s nothing wrong with store-bought, sometimes a weed witch needs to
have some kitchen witch tricks up their wizard sleeve. Make your own post-sex
cannabis topical following the spell below.

Ingredient list: Roughly 10 grams of cannabis, a nonstick baking sheet,

parchment paper, ⅓ cup of olive oil, ½ cup of coconut oil, a double boiler
(you can make one out of a pot placed on top of another), mortar and
pestle or grinder, ⅓ cup beeswax, cheesecloth (To make a smaller batch,
halve these amounts and follow the same steps below.)

Weed witch wisdom: Don’t worry about the moon phases for this one.
You can make your topical at any time. Store it in an airtight container,
such as a mason jar, and it will keep for up to a year.

Casting the Spell

• Preheat your oven to 245°F. Sprinkle your cannabis on your baking
sheet and cover it with parchment paper. Decarboxylation is the
process that activates the psychoactive compounds in the cannabis
plant, aka what gets you high. It requires heat, which happens when
you light up a bowl with a flame. So when you’re making edibles or a
topical, you have to decarb your weed ahead of time. Simply rubbing
buds over bruises will do nothing but irritate them!
• Bake for 30 to 45 minutes. The nugs should look golden brown when
they’re ready. Take your witchy weed out of the oven and set it aside
to cool.
• Combine the olive oil and coconut oil in your double boiler, which acts
as a cauldron. Stir on low for roughly half an hour.
• Grind the cannabis in the mortar and pestle or grinder.
• Add the cannabis to your mixture and stir for another half an hour.
• Stir in the beeswax.
• Strain the mixture through a cheesecloth to remove the lingering bud.
You want this to be nice and smooth.
• Once the mixture is cool, store it in an airtight container.
• After a night of rough sex, bite marks, or anything consensual that
leaves you sore, slather this on. Or, have your lover(s) do it for you.
 Glamour Magic for First Dates

Did you know that the word glamour originally meant “to cast a spell,” an
illusion created by witches? While using glamour in eighteenth-century Scotland
could get you killed, today we forget that we’re casting spells anytime we apply
makeup, choose a new hair color to fit our mood, or dress to the nines to slay a
first date. The most powerful spells often aren’t secret blood orgies but rather
everyday rituals, with magic so deep-rooted that witches—and their victims—
aren’t even aware that a spell is being put into action.
The first date is the first impression. So what do you want to invoke? A hot
witch who gives precisely zero fucks? Like the Empress in the tarot, a floral
goddess bursting with life and fertility? A queer king? You got it. Follow along
with the aid of music, cannabis, and a quality CBD moisturizer to cast a glamour
on your date—while increasing your confidence.

Ingredient list: Music to invoke confidence, your preferred pregame

method of cannabis, CBD moisturizer, tincture or low-dose edibles, and
makeup and clothing of your choice

Weed witch wisdom: Busy weed witches must fit dates into their
schedule, but Friday, which is ruled by Venus, the goddess of love and
beauty, does happen to be a great night for a first date.

Casting the Spell

• Put on some music. Whether it’s 1980s goth, Taylor Swift, or old-
school hip-hop circa Lil’ Kim’s height of fame, play whatever produces
the most joy and confidence.
• Get your supplies ready. You will need some weed to enjoy and relax
 as you get ready—but beware of getting too stoned before a first date.
Prepare your glamour altar, aka wherever you do your hair and
makeup, with all your beauty tools. Pick out that perfect first date
outfit.
• You should always apply moisturizer before foundation and the rest of
your makeup. If you don’t, dryness can cause your makeup to chip,
flake, and make you look more like a crone than a maiden. Many
brands, available at your favorite beauty store or online, now contain
CBD. Because cannabis has anti-inflammatory properties, this will
give your skin an extra calming boost, creating a perfect canvas for
your glamour magic makeup.
• Now, do your makeup and hair, and get dressed. Remember, witch,
this is magic. It’s glamour magic, so have fun, but take it seriously. If
your date ends up being boring, so what? You’ll look fabulous and
have now invoked Venus, who will be on your side to bring beauty
and the right partner, whether it’s tonight or next week.
• Go out and hit the town. I suggest bringing lipstick, powder, and a
compact if you need to touch up during the date. You can also sneak
crystals into your compact or purse. And, of course, bring a discreet
form of cannabis, such as a tincture or a low-dose edible, should you
need to destress during the date.
 High Handfasting Ceremony

In ancient Celtic traditions, handfasting dates back to 7000 BCE and is a more
magical version of an engagement. It’s basically a premarriage trial run. As
Pagans did in Ireland, when two people decided to get married, first they came
together to have a braided cord or ribbon—we’ll be using hemp rope—tied
around their hands in the presence of a priest or holy officiate. Once your hands
are tied together, you are committed for one year. If you’re still happy after that,
go ahead and get married. Not so much? Phew, the handfasting is over, and
you’re free to slut it up and select a new mate!

Ingredient list: A loving (potential) partner, an officiant, a gorgeous

handfasting outfit, three pieces of hemp rope each one yard in length,
cannabis for celebration

Weed witch wisdom: Handfasting ceremonies are associated with

Lughnasadh (Lammas), aka witch Thanksgiving and the first harvest
Sabbat, which runs from July 31 to August 1. However, think of this as
akin to a wedding ceremony or engagement. Do it whenever someone is
ready to pop the question.

Casting the Spell

• First, you will need a romantic partner who is potentially marriage
material.
• Second, it’s time to plan your handfasting ceremony. Don’t worry; it’s
only a yearlong commitment, so it can be a small dinner party similar
to an engagement party or simply you, your partner, and whoever is
officiating.
• With your partner, braid the three pieces of hemp rope into one.
• Begin the ceremony. The officiant should say words of love and joy
and explain your one-year commitment to each other. You should
choose an officiant who will take this role seriously and bring the
emotional realness!
• Now, it’s time to tie the knot. As you read your handfasting vows to
one another, have a trusted friend or family member—this can be your
officiant or another witness—bind your hands together. Many knots
are used in handfasting ceremonies. Sometimes the couple does it
themselves, other times it’s the officiant. Often, couples cross their
arms, with one’s left hand linking the other’s right, which appears as
an infinity knot from above—winding the rope around their wrists.
Most importantly, don’t make the knot too tight; you need to be able to
get it off.
• Traditionally, the couple keeps the knot on until midnight, but that can
make dancing and eating difficult. So take it off whenever you’re
ready to party, but make sure to save it and keep it somewhere
sacred.
• Party like it’s your wedding trial run! Cannabis consumption is a must.
• May the following year bring you love, and if all goes well, marriage.
 Magic Truth Serum

They say that if you have the pussy, you make the rules. But whatever you
name your junk, this spell is for you—if you’re down to anoint your jewels with
an infused potion for your partner to lap up.
As discussed, cannabis topicals can reduce pain and fight inflammation.
While you can’t get high from a back massage, when applied to the vulva, anus,
or anywhere with mucous membranes, you can experience psychoactive effects.
Or, in other words, you can get your pussy stoned—and your partner when they
go down on you.
You can use this potion on any erogenous zones, but remember that mucous
membranes must be present for you to feel the effects. This means vaginas and
buttholes. You can put a cannabis-infused pleasure oil on your dick or a strap-on,
but only your partner will get high. But, because we’re using this as a truth
serum, that works just swell.
As the government warned you, the side effects of cannabis include euphoria
and lowered inhibitions. You know how people are always overly honest after
they just came? Let them give you oral sex while consuming cannabis with this
spell that turns your genitals into an edible. Then, after they’ve come and the
effects set in, ask them whatever you want.

Ingredient list: You can use your own topical or a store-bought pleasure
oil, which cannabis and CBD companies such as Her Highness and Foria
make. While oil-based lubricants are body-safe, they are not latex-
friendly. So, if you use condoms, skip penetration or practice safer sex
techniques another way.

Weed witch wisdom: If it’s a really important question, like “Will you
marry me?” it’s a good idea to ask it again when you’re both sober and
not amid occult manipulation.
 Casting the Spell
• Set an intention ahead of time. What do you want to know? Keep it
open-ended and caring, such as “What do you love about me?” The
last thing you need is for someone to say they want your babies
during the stoned afterglow of an orgasm, only to forget the next day.
• Anoint your genitals with your cannabis pleasure oil. If you’re using it
somewhere with mucous membranes, you should feel warming and
tingling right away, although full effects take about fifteen minutes.
Don’t expect to get as high as you would from edibles or inhalation,
but you should feel a nice warm buzz originating in your magic
clit/dick.
• Slowly and sensually, ask your lover to lick it up. Let them take their
time. Depending on what you’re using, a topical dose on the genitals
is usually pretty low, around 2.5 mg of THC or CBD, so don’t worry
too much about sending them into outer space.
• This charmed oral sex is part of your foreplay. Enjoy and gradually
move on to penetration, toys, or whatever is considered sexy and
sacred within your relationship. After all, edibles can take up to an
hour to kick in, so you want to give the potion time to work its magic.
• After your partner comes, give them a few minutes to catch their
breath. Then, ideally while snuggling, ask your question. Listen and
be ready to give love back.
 Scorpio Suppositories

Buttholes are like toxic exes and overconsumption edibles stories: everyone has
one. And regardless of your orientation or gender, with the high count of nerve
endings in the rectum anyone can enjoy the pleasure of anal sex. Bonus points if
you have a prostate. However, unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating.
So, if you don’t do it right, anal penetration can hurt like hell.
The sign of Scorpio, much like the anus, is both feared and misunderstood.
Scorpio is all about sex, death, and transformation. This sign also rules the
genitals and rectum. Even if you’re not a Scorpio or have little Scorpio in your
chart, you know Scorpio season, aka Halloween. It’s the time of year when we
all get in touch with our inner madness. And what madness is more magical than
a perfectly healthy sex act that’s been outlawed and feared for millennia thanks
to the evil of homophobia?
So let’s learn how to safely and comfortably enjoy anal pleasure and
transform shitty fears—sorry, puns are required in the cannabis world—with a
stoned ritual to ease into anal sex. Cannabis suppositories are an exciting new
method of intake to many, and if yours contain THC, you can even get a buzz
from them. And because they share the same soothing properties as a topical,
they can make anal sex more comfortable without dangerously numbing you out,
as some over-the-counter noncannabis anal sex lubes and suppositories can do.

Ingredient list: Nitrile or latex gloves if you please (opt for the black
ones, so if shit does happen, you don’t have to see it), your favorite lube,
cannabis suppositories (which can be purchased online from brands such
as Foria or at your local dispensary)

Weed witch wisdom: With this spell, we are looking not only to
transform your experience with anal pleasure but to shed any residual
hang-ups you may have about it. Because Scorpio is a bold sex-positive
sign of rebirth, you may wish to perform this spell during Scorpio season
(October 23–November 22) or while the moon is in Scorpio. But
sometimes we’re just too horny to wait. So enjoy this ritual whenever your
heart and bum desire.

Casting the Spell

• Start with a brief breathing exercise to help your mind and body relax.
Sit comfortably in your bed or wherever you’re going to cast the spell.
Inhale for four counts. Hold for four counts. Exhale for four counts.
Hold for four counts. Repeat this calming cycle, known as the fourfold
breath, at least four times or until you begin to chill out.
• Wash your hands. Snap on a glove if you’re using one. Lube up a
finger and slowly and sensually begin gliding it in and out of your ass.
Thicker lubes, such as those made with silicone, tend to work best for
anal play. However, silicone lube can degrade silicone sex toys (like
when two Scorpios try to date one another), so if you’re intending on
using a silicone butt plug or dildo, opt for a water-based lube instead.
• Gently insert a cannabis suppository into your rectum.
• Let it melt and dissolve as the effects take place (about fifteen
minutes or so) and your body absorbs the medicine.
• Insert a small butt plug or anal beads. Relax with that for another thirty
minutes or so.
• Keep practicing this, and once it becomes comfortable, you can move
up to larger objects, such as a sex toy or penis.
 Summon a Sex Goddess

Venus is more than just a planet. She is a heavenly cosmic body and the Roman
goddess of love, beauty, and abundance. She wants you to have everything that
you desire. Or, to be more precise, Venus wants you to know that you deserve
everything you desire.
Confidence is magic. It’s the most obvious yet hard to obtain power on the
planet. It’s challenging to have the sex you want and ask for and receive your
desires when you’re feeling insecure. So we will summon the goddess Venus and
then embody her to help you step into your goddess nature, which everyone
deserves regardless of their gender or orientation.
Venus likes honey and flowers as offerings and the color red, which is
associated with love and lust. With her in mind, this spell uses candle magic to
unleash the abundant, confident sex goddess that already exists within you.

Ingredient list: Extra cannabis and seeds scrapings, red candle (ideally
pullout), candle-carving tools, newspaper, a joint or vape, a pen and
paper, honey, a coaster, CBD oil, red glitter (optional)

Weed witch wisdom: Venus rules Friday, which is always a great day for
a love spell, as so many dates happen over the weekends. Of course,
you can perform this at any time, but try to avoid doing so while the
planet Venus is retrograde.

Casting the Spell

• Begin saving your cannabis scraps. This includes stems, leaves, or
any unused shake (leftover bits you find in your grinder, etc.) you’re
willing to share with Venus.
• Get out your candle magic supplies. Place newspaper on the floor for
easy cleanup.
• Keep enough cannabis to roll yourself a joint (or a few). You can also
use a vape. While puffing, begin meditating on what you want from
Venus. Do you want a reminder of how hot you are? Perhaps you’re
looking for the courage to ask your partner about having a threesome.
Whatever your desires, write them down with a pen and paper to
clarify your wishes.
• Rather than use the traditional sage, cleanse yourself and your
supplies by running your joint smoke over you and your tools.
• If you’re using a pullout candle, take it out of the glass. As an offering
to Venus, and to help hold the red candle in place, squirt a drop of
honey into the jar. Taste it as you do to make sure that it’s not
poisoned. We must serve the gods! Venus also loves flowers—and
yes, bud counts. Sprinkle in your herb gatherings as an offering as
well.
• Blow some smoke into the glass and place a coaster on top to keep it
inside.
• Candle-carving tools are available online, but you can carefully use a
knife or even a toothpick. Carve the symbol for Venus—a small plus
sign attached to the bottom of a circle—into the candle. While our
society tends to associate this symbol with “female,” it represents the
planet, the goddess, and the divine feminine. The cannabis plant is
also an incarnation of the divine feminine—which we all contain
regardless of gender, just as we all possess divine masculine traits.
• Remember while you are doing this spell, continue to vape or smoke
that joint.
• When you finish carving the Venus sigil, go ahead and add your
initials and the symbol for your zodiac sign.
• Anoint the candle by rubbing a thin layer of CBD tincture over the
sides of the candle, avoiding the wick. If you are using glitter, put
some of this on the newspaper and roll the anointed candle through it.
• Take the coaster off the glass, plop your magic candle inside, and
 watch in awe as the smoke billows out.
• Light the candle. Place it on your altar or somewhere safe and
special. As it burns, you will come alive with the spirit of Venus. When
the candle is done burning, the spell is complete. This can take a
week or longer, depending how often you keep it lit, but that’s okay! It
can be powerful to let spells simmer and take their time.
 Shake Off Your Kink Shame

Kink-shaming is an epidemic. Whether it’s blindfolds, group sex, or superhero

role-play, everything is aboveboard as long as it occurs between consenting
adults. Unfortunately, our patriarchal society steeped in outdated Christian
values still tends to judge folks who are into anything outside of the cishet
vanilla norm. Thankfully, we have the weapons of weed and witchcraft—most
importantly—for you to fight back.
Witches have been using the benefits of plant magic in the form of tea for
centuries. Cannabis gently lowers inhibitions and can treat anxiety. So first, we’ll
make a nice soothing cup of cannabis tea to help you relax and inhabit your
body. Then, we’ll break out the tarot cards. While the tarot is associated with
divination, it works best as a mirror or meditation tool, to help you access
knowledge that already exists within you.
This three-card spread will not only help you get rid of kink shame, but it will
help you identify what you want.

Ingredient list: ¼ cup decarboxylated stems and shake (or a cannabis

or CBD tincture), one cup half-and-half, a small pot (the kitchen kind),
cheesecloth, your favorite tea, honey or raw sugar, a tarot deck

Weed witch wisdom: The new moon is a time for new beginnings. You
can do this tarot spread anytime, but the dark new moon is ideal. While
you can use any tarot deck that speaks to you, the RWS deck is what
most modern cards are based on and helpful to learn from.

Casting the Spell

• If you want to kitchen witch it up, let’s make your cannabis tea. First,
 you need to decarb some cannabis, as in the Make Your Own
Soothing Post-Sex Topical spell here in the Love & Sex chapter.
• After you decarb your weed, stir ¼ cup decarboxylated shake into one
cup half-and-half in a small pot over medium-low heat. Let simmer for
five to seven minutes while watching closely.
• Remove from heat and carefully strain through a cheesecloth.
• Add the cannabis-infused half-and-half to your tea of choice. Anything
with roses works wonders for self-love. If you want to go the simpler,
store-bought route, skip the decarbing and add a vial of your favorite
cannabis or CBD tincture to your tea instead.
• Add honey, raw sugar, or whatever else you desire.
• Take out your tarot deck. We are going to do a simple three-card
spread. To start, shuffle the deck while asking yourself, “What are my
kinks, and what’s holding me back from experiencing them?”
• Pull a card. This represents your desires. For instance, if you pull the
Emperor, you’re likely craving a dominant partner, some D/S play, or a
very strict daddy.
• Pull another card. This represents what’s holding you back from
experiencing those desires and the associated shame. Let’s say that
you pull that Ace of Wands. This indicates that your kinks are valid,
magical, and bound to come true. All you need to do is tap into your
creativity and passion to rise above fear.
• Keep sipping that tea. Bitch needs a drink for this one!
• Pull another card. This represents your bright, kinky future. Perhaps
you pull the Two of Cups. This means that you will find a partner who
not only is willing to try your kinks enthusiastically but likely shares
them, too.
• Consult the tarot chapter in this book starting here for a full rundown
on what each card means, and get ready to live your best, kinkiest,
witchiest life.
 Make Out with Mary Jane (Intimacy
Spell)

One of the worst feelings in the world is trying to initiate sex with a partner
you feel disconnected from. But, in any relationship, you can become unaligned
from time to time due to the stress of everyday life. Thankfully, there are
remedies for that. Aside from tried-and-true traditional methods, such as
compassionate communication, there is evidence that cannabis can enhance
intimacy between couples.
Not only can cannabis lower inhibitions and offer a shared experience, but
research suggests it lowers negative bias. This helps us see the glass as half full,
which is crucial in any romantic partnership. When we focus on the negative, it
bogs us down in an ugly, sticky swamp. But when we focus on the positive, we
remember why we fell in love or lust in the first place.
Cannabis is not the only herb in a witch’s apothecary to enhance sex and
intimacy. Rose petals—make sure they’re organic and food-safe so you don’t
smoke pesticides—curate love and pair wonderfully with weed. So roll one up,
and then implement the ancient stoner ritual known as shotgunning to reconnect
with your lover.

Ingredient list: Grinder or mortar and pestle, cannabis, crushed organic

rose petals, rolling papers (or pre-rolled cones, I suggest the brand
RAW), a partner

Weed witch wisdom: If you want to use ultra-magical rose petals, save
a bouquet given to you by a partner. Hang them upside down and let
them dry. Once they’re fully dry, stash them away in your apothecary for
future spell needs.
 Casting the Spell
• Using your grinder or mortar and pestle, grind up your cannabis and
rose petals.
• Roll a weed and rose spliff. If you’re not great at rolling joints, you can
buy pre-rolled paper cones, which work wonderfully.
• When you’re alone with your partner, light up your joint. Take one big
puff for good luck and hold the smoke. Gaze into their eyes with love.
• Carefully place the lit end between your lips (so the joint will be
backward). Be super gentle; don’t burn yourself! Move toward your
partner to kiss them. As they open their mouth, they should inhale
while you gently blow. Cannabis smoke will flow from your mouth into
theirs, offering them the gift of euphoria.
• Make sure they give you one back in return.
• Go back and forth for as long as you like, or share the rest of the joint
smoking regularly. As your brain fills with the loving power of your
herbal concoction, notice everything that you love about your partner,
and don’t refrain from sharing your thoughts with them.
• Get. It. On.
 Navigate Consent and Cannabis

Yes, even cannabis can impair your ability to give consent. While the
consensus is that it’s much safer than alcohol and other drugs, it can still lower
inhibitions, which can be dangerous if you’re with a new person or in an
unfamiliar setting. So, if you’re going to integrate cannabis into your sex
spellwork, do not sleep on consent.
Witches call upon the elements to cast a circle of protection. While this spell
won’t kill every rapist that walks the Earth, it can help you prioritize consent and
speaking up.
In cultures where cannabis is considered sacred, such as in Jamaica, the
elements are crucial in cannabis rituals, such as the Steam Chalice, a water pipe
made with bamboo and coconut. Air is the smoke that fills our lungs, fire lights
the herb, water filters it, and ganja grows from the green earth. With respect to
these cultures, our witch ancestors, and consent, we will also invoke the
elements to help navigate consent and cannabis.

Ingredient list: A compass (there should be an app on your phone that

will work just fine)

Weed witch wisdom: Perform this ritual before a first date, or whenever
you need a consent refresh.

Casting the Spell

• Turn to the east. Loudly and proudly, say, “I call upon the Guardians of
the East, of air and sword-sharp intellect. Remind me to use cannabis
responsibly and expect the same of my partners.”
• Turn to the south. Say, “I call upon the Guardians of the South, of fire
 and courage. Embolden me to firmly state my boundaries and kick
anyone’s ass who disrespects them.”
• Turn to the west. Say, “I call upon the Guardians of the West, of water
and empathetic emotions. Help me to act compassionately and honor
my intuition at all times.”
• Turn to the north. Say, “I call upon the Guardians of the North, of
grounded earth which grows this sacred herb. Help me stay
connected with the plant and my boundaries at all times.”
• So mote it be.
 Get Good at Head

Society often frames oral sex as foreplay or something that goes down only in
club bathroom stalls. But it can be sacred, a beautiful erotic ritual to show your
partner how much you love them. While some folks consider oral sex somehow
lesser than the penetrative variety, sorry dudes, it’s 100 percent sex. And being
good at going down is a superpower you want on your sex witch résumé.
But oral sex isn’t just sex—it’s incredibly intimate. Placing your mouth on
someone’s genitals? You can have PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex without even
kissing! So, to start this ritual, you’re going to share a romantic home-cooked
meal with your partner or lover while enjoying a cannabis cocktail.
You may have heard the phrase “Cali sober.” It often refers to opting for
cannabis instead of alcohol for the lower side effect profile. As a result, there are
a plethora of infused beverages on the market, from CBD seltzers to high-THC
but alcohol-free tequila. So pour yourself a glass, allow your mind to open up to
your lover’s needs, and then give that to them with psychic oral sex.

Ingredient list: A cannabis-infused beverage, the ability to listen

Weed witch wisdom: While an afternoon delight is alright, this spell

works best at night. Bonus points if the moon is in Pisces, the most
intuitive and psychic sign of the zodiac.

Casting the Spell

• Make time to lovingly prepare a meal for you and your partner to enjoy
together. Sharing dinner after a long day of work is a way to bond and
reconnect and a vital ritual to maintain within a relationship.
• Pour yourself, and your partner if they desire, a glass of cannabis-
 infused beverage. Enjoy it slowly with dinner. Allow up to an hour for
effects to set in before having more.
• While you’re sharing a meal, observe your partner with the attention to
detail of a spy. Are they stressed? Does their love tank need refilling?
Lock eyes and listen. Better yet? Communicate like adults and ask
them how they feel and what they need. You can even ask how they
want you to go down on them. That will undoubtedly move you along
to the next step.
• When you’re both done, move into the bedroom. Slowly and
intentionally take off their clothes and begin to go down on them. Let
the plant power of cannabis enhance your psychic abilities. What do
they need?
• While trusting your cannabis-enhanced sex witch intuition and
checking in with your partner, give them the best head of their life,
bringing them to climax if possible.
 Coming Out of the Closet Cannabliss
Cleansing

Coming out of the closet is a sacred moment of celebration. However, that

doesn’t mean it’s easy. While some of us have supportive families who knew we
were gay or queer since childhood and accept us, others face rejection for
coming out. Your magical queer self has always existed, but it’s like being
baptized when you come out. Maybe you’re finally about to date your preferred
genders or at least change the settings on your dating profile. While weed
doesn’t tend to make people black out—which you don’t want to do at your first
gay club, trust me—it does lower your inhibitions. This can promote self-
acceptance and give you the giggly boost to go ahead and message that hottie on
a hookup app or come out to your trusted friends. Because cannabis can lower
negative bias, it can also help you be nicer to yourself during this process and
fight anxiety.
But stress does more than mess with our minds. It can lower the immune
system, cause achy tense muscles, and raise blood pressure. Cannabis,
particularly CBD, has found a fitting home in the health and beauty department
helping alleviate those things. CBD bath bombs are available over the internet or
at your local beauty store or dispensary. They offer pain relief and act as an anti-
inflammatory. On its own, a hot bath can soothe sore muscles, reduce anxiety,
and help you sleep better—just like cannabis! Your bathtub is a cauldron, and
bathing as an act of rebirth is found in both occult practices and mainstream
religions such as Christianity. So let’s celebrate you coming out of the closet
with a cannabliss cleansing.

Ingredient list: Candles, your favored method for listening to music, a

bathtub, a joint or vape if you want extra elevating, and a CBD bath bomb
Weed witch wisdom: Cast this spell during a new moon, which
represents new beginnings when the sky is dark and witchy.

Casting the Spell

• First, create your environment. Light candles. Put on your favorite,
gayest music. CBD bath bombs are not psychoactive, so if you want
to get high for this, roll your joints or get your vape charged and ready.
• Fill up your bathtub to a warm to hot temperature of your liking.
• Slide yourself into the bath.
• Plop the CBD bath bomb into the tub and watch it fizz. As it slowly
goes to work transforming your bathwater through scientific alchemy,
visualize your anxiety and stress being sucked away by the healing
power of salt and CBD.
• While the bath bomb is fizzing, chant, “I am fabulous, I am strong, I
am me, so mote it be.” Continue chanting until the bath bomb is
completely dissolved.
• Soak for as long as you like. Visualize every fear, derogatory
comment, or shame you’ve had to experience on your journey
draining out of you and into the bathwater. Relax. Let the bath go to
work easing your tension.
• When you’re ready—and your intuition will tell you this—unplug the
drain. As the water swirls down and away, eventually making its way
to the oceans, imagine your hurt and fear washing away with it.
• Congrats. You are officially baptized a Queer Weed Witch!
 NO 4

STONED SPELLS FOR MONEY &

WORK

Cannabis is better at creating abundance than anything. So no matter how

many farms the DEA sets on fire, the plant will always thrive. Goddess Mary
Jane is using magic on all of us, with THC and other goodies, to make sure she
expands her reach as far as possible. If cannabis were a tarot card, she’d be the
glowing and fertile Empress. If she were a planet, she’d be Venus, who rules
beauty, love, and abundance. But, honey, weed is green for a reason: you’re
allowed to get rich!
We live in a time where many people are understandably very critical of our
economic system. And yes, it’s hard to get excited about using cannabis for
money spells when you think of all the people imprisoned for weed. But a
scarcity mindset doesn’t help; it just doesn’t. Cannabis wants you to reach your
dreams, so this chapter contains a tarot spread to find the right career path for
you. It wants you to give back while you grow, so there are helpful lessons from
healing Virgo for cannabis entrepreneurs. Take out your bong because we’re
about to bless it to get rich.
A Tarot Spread to Find the Right Career
Path for You

Oh, my gender-neutral goddess, getting a job these days is not like it was for
other generations. So it’s understandable to have questions such as, “Can I still
be a doctor if I like cannabis?” or “I’m a very gay witch on the internet. Is law
school out of the question?” or “Honestly, I just want to be a sex worker and
celebrate my body as a temple to Venus—is that okay?” All of these paths are
totally doable (and dope), but the struggle of societal hate is real. Thankfully,
you’re a witch who isn’t afraid to utilize the power of cannabis. This spell
involves breathing patterns that reduce stress, helping you tune in to a tarot
reading. Remember, tarot isn’t just fun fortune-telling; it’s a sacred mirror that
reflects truth back to us.

Ingredient list: A pillow or yoga mat, a tarot deck, your favorite vape or
joint

Weed witch wisdom: This works wonderfully during the waxing moon
phase, which signifies growth. Bonus points if the moon is in an earth
sign (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn)—these are associated with pentacles and
worldly possessions.

Casting the Spell

• Sit somewhere comfortable on a pillow or yoga mat. Place your tarot
deck and joint or vape in front of you. Once you’re comfortable, close
your eyes.
• Bring your awareness to your breath. At first, don’t worry about how
 you’re breathing; just remember that you’re doing it. It can be
surprisingly easy to forget!
• We’re going to use the fourfold breath, or box breathing, which can
lower stress levels. Then, of course, we will infuse it with cannabis.
But let’s practice a regular round first.
• Breathe in for a count of four. Hold for four. Exhale for four. Pause for
four. Repeat this cycle four times, so eight breaths total.
• Now pick up your joint or vape and gently inhale for four, hold for four,
exhale the smoke or vape for four, and hold for four. Repeat three
times.
• Continuing to breathe consciously but at your own pace, pick up the
tarot deck and start to shuffle. Your intuition will tell you when it’s time
to stop.
• Cut the deck three times with your left hand. Then, restack and
spread out your tarot deck in front of you to make a rainbow shape.
• Trusting your weed witch spidey senses, ask, “What were my
childhood dreams?” Even if our dreams change over time, it’s
important to check in with the child version of ourselves. Pull a card
and place it to the left. For instance, if you pull the King of Pentacles,
perhaps you wanted to start your own business and make it big.
• Now, pull a second card and place it to the right, leaving room for a
middle card. While you’re drawing, ask yourself, “What is the adult
version of that dream?” Perhaps you pull the Ace of Wands, indicating
that you can still become a successful entrepreneur, but you need to
shake off the annoyances of adulthood and reconnect with your
passion.
• Finally, draw a third card, asking, “What do I need to make it from
point A to point B and manifest my dreams into reality?” Place this
card in the middle. Let’s say that you pull the Sun. Well, witch, it looks
like you’re going to have to stop whining about taxes and inject your
life with joy.
• Take this sacred stoned knowledge and use it to get what you want.
 Moneymaker Marijuana Mask

Look, I know some of us wish we lived in a paradise where looks didn’t matter,
but we do not, and they do—especially professionally. People get Botox to get
ahead in the workplace just like they do to look fresh for romantic partners. Let
me rephrase: It matters that you know that you are beautiful, and there’s nothing
wrong with taking whatever steps you need to get there. Confidence is
everything. The radiance of a confident witch will outshine every supermodel at
the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. So, using beauty kitchen witch ingredients
such as honey (Cleopatra’s favorite!), the essential fatty acids of avocado, or the
money-drawing talents of patchouli (it’s for more than hippies!), we’re going to
make you feel like a million bucks so your beauty can attract those bucks right to
you.

Ingredient list: One ripe avocado, mortar and pestle or bowl, a

tablespoon of honey, patchouli essential oil, a medium-size mason jar or
airtight container

Weed witch wisdom: Try this face mask on a Saturday, which is

associated with Saturn, the governing planet of patchouli.

Casting the Spell

• On a clean surface, cut an avocado in half and remove the pit.
• Scoop out the green (to invoke money) avocado fruit and mash it into
a smooth paste in a bowl or using a mortar and pestle.
• Add one tablespoon of honey, which will help attract both money and
love.
• Add ten (a number of completion) drops of patchouli essential oil into
the mixture. Mix well and place in an airtight container or mason jar.
Keep refrigerated.
• At least once a week, ideally on a luxurious Saturday, apply the face
mask and let it sit on your skin for ten to fifteen minutes.
• Enjoy the results and throw it out when it starts to get gross!
 Get Famous Using Psychic Powers

Witches have been using mirrors for far more than lipstick application for
quite some time—although lipstick alone can count as glamour magic. Witches
sometimes use mirrors to haunt former lovers (obviously) or enemies. People are
vulnerable while they’re asleep. So here’s a free extra spell: Get high, stare into
your mirror, imagine your ex fast asleep in his bed, and tell him to go fuck
himself… But on to the next one.
Another common witchy use of mirrors is scrying. Scrying is the practice of
gazing into a reflective surface, often an obsidian mirror (goth), with the
intention of divination or simple understanding. But, see, here’s the thing about
being psychic: Witches tend to take power into their own hands. They respect the
unknown, the ancestors, and the universe’s magic, but they don’t sit around and
wait for a candle to melt into a new Ken Doll boyfriend. They do the work.
Sometimes, though, a mirror is just a mirror, which doesn’t make it any less
powerful. For this spell, we will use the mood-boosting and creative powers of
cannabis to perform mirror magic to make your dreams come true.

Ingredient list: All you need is a mirror and weed.

Weed witch wisdom: Cast this spell under the influence of a fire sign, as
those assholes will do anything for fame. So, if it’s Aries, Leo, or
Sagittarius season, or the moon is in one of these signs, go for it. But
please repeat this spell whenever you want; the more you do it, the
better.

Casting the Spell

• Sit somewhere comfy, ideally on something beautiful so that you
already feel famous. Place a mirror—whether it just be a regular
 mirror, a hand mirror, or even a makeup compact—and your cannabis
by your side.
• Inhalation works best for this spell, as the onset time is fast. Keep
your weed next to you and use as desired. Cannabis can help lower
inhibitions, increase connectivity, and lower anxiety. It can help you
shake off your insecurities and visualize your famous future self.
• Open your mirror. State three times, “Mirror, mirror, in my hand, show
my future, abundant and grand.”
• Keep using cannabis and staring into your mirror. What do you want
your professional future to look like? Do you want to be a CEO in a
Chanel suit? A stay-at-home mom too happy to care what she’s
wearing? A famous artist covered in paint? Imagine your dreams.
• Continue to look into the mirror until you see your current self
transform into the future you. You’ll know when it’s time to set it down.
• Return to this visual whenever needed. And remember: Now it’s time
to get to work. Your spell isn’t going to manifest itself.
 Pesto Chango: Infused Feast for
Confidence

Basil is an herb with magical properties for invoking confidence and wealth.
As a result, it not only tastes delicious but is also an ideal ingredient in money
spells. Basil is very easy to grow, so even if growing your own cannabis is out of
the question, you may try growing a few basil plants anywhere that gets sun six
to eight hours a day. But, if you’re a busy weed witch, store-bought basil is fine.
Food is a celebration, and this recipe is alchemy. You’re transforming an array of
otherwise everyday ingredients into a potent potion that can help boost your
morale and keep you well-fed and healthy. This is best shared with others.

Ingredient list: Pen and paper, positive playlist, citrine crystal, two cups
fresh basil leaves, ⅓ cup pine nuts, one tablespoon chopped garlic, ½
cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese, ½ cup cannabis-infused extra
virgin olive oil, ¼ teaspoon salt or more to taste, ¼ teaspoon black
pepper or more to taste

Weed witch wisdom: Fresh basil grows best in the summer. So if you’re
growing your own, try this during the bright summer months, which are
always excellent for manifesting confidence (especially during bold Leo
season). But because professional poise and a delicious meal are always
needed, prepare whenever you want.

Casting the Spell

• This meal is magic to make you feel good. What are your insecurities,
especially in your professional life? I know this part is challenging, but
we have to identify demons to kill them. Writing down intentions is
 Magic 101, so before you start cooking, use your pen and paper to
put down what you hope to gain from this cannabis confidence spell.
You may find it easier to begin with writing what you’re grateful for to
get started.
• Clear out a clean working space in your kitchen. Put on a playlist that
inspires self-confidence.
• If you have a piece of citrine, which is a crystal that draws money and
bold confidence, place it nearby. If you have a citrine necklace or
other jewelry, it’s even better if you wear it as you prepare the sauce.
• Now, let’s get to work. Place the basil leaves and pine nuts into a food
processor or blender and pulse until mixed thoroughly, although it
should still be somewhat chunky.
• While you are preparing the pesto, chant the following at least three
times: “Green like money, made by me, nourish me with confidence,
so mote it be.”
• Add the garlic and most of the Parmesan cheese (oh hex yeah!).
Pulse a few more times until combined. Save some extra cheese for
sprinkling on top.
• While the food processor or blender is still running at a low speed,
slowly pour in the infused olive oil. Adding it while the machine is on
helps prevent the oil from separating.
• Add salt and pepper to taste. Now, serve the pesto over your favorite
pasta, use it as a dip, or even eat it with a spoon!
• Remember, sharing is caring. Give back by sharing your magical-
infused meal with friends or a loved one.
 Bless Your Bong Water to Get Rich

Bongs, a pillar of cannabis culture, filter and cool cannabis smoke through the
water. As witches know, the element of water is associated with emotions,
movement, and creativity. As a result, many witches utilize the full moon to
create full moon water. Full moons are potent times of manifestation, so by
placing water under the light of such a lunation and vocalizing an incantation,
you can charge your water. The full moon water can be sipped, sprinkled like
holy water, or in the case of weed witches, used in a bong to infuse your
cannabis with a money spell for abundance.

Ingredient list: A mason jar, filtered water, a bong

Weed witch wisdom: Ideally, cast this spell during a full moon in Taurus.
Taurus is an abundant earth sign, which we associate with material
possessions. And of the earth signs—the other two are Virgo and
Capricorn—Taurus is the only one ruled by Venus, the planet of love,
beauty, and money. Venus says that even if you think our economic
system sucks, you deserve to make a comfortable living.

Casting the Spell

• Fill a mason jar with filtered water when the full moon is in Taurus—
although you can cast this spell under different full moons for other
intentions. Seal it tight. Place the jar of water somewhere under the
light of the full moon.
• Say out loud, three times, “Goddess Venus and mother moon, make
me rich, I shall use it for good, as I am a witch.”
• Leave the mason jar overnight. When you wake up, store the water
 somewhere safe until you’re ready to use it as bong water.
• When you’re ready to get high, fill your bong with your full moon
water. Once again, say the above incantation.
• Using the bong, inhale a hit. Visualize your professional dreams
coming true and your bank account growing bigger.
• Exhale. Breathe out any insecurities or fears holding you back from
your full potential when you do.
• You should change your bong water every few days, so make sure to
swap it out before it gets too dirty. Consult the astrology section of this
book to learn how to utilize the full moon in other signs. For instance,
a full moon in Libra is excellent for love spells, and a full moon in
Aries works wonders for courage.
 Cannahoney Jar for Career Growth

Honey jar spells are some of the most iconic spells of all time. They’re
relatively self-explanatory; honey jar spells are made using a jar and honey.
However, because we’re weed witches, for this one we’ll use infused
cannahoney. Honey jars are a form of sympathetic magic, which refers to using
representations such as the waning moon for removal spells and the waxing
moon for growth.
Honey sweetens. While that’s great for treats and tea, in sympathetic magic it
also helps sweeten a spell, which is why honey jar spells work best for love and
money—and Venus, the goddess of love, beauty, and abundance, as mentioned
above. This honey jar will help grow your career over time. It’s not about fast
cash but rather developing a sustainable and abundant life.
Jar spells work slowly and last a long time. Store this one somewhere cool
and dry, and enjoy the honey throughout an entire season. Take note of your
career growth along the way.

Ingredient list: One quart mason jar, a blank sticker and Sharpie, sage,
roughly 10 grams of cannabis buds, a nonstick baking sheet, parchment
paper, cheesecloth, string, one cup honey, a hand towel, a Crockpot,
tongs (To make a smaller batch, halve these amounts and follow the
same steps below.)

Weed witch wisdom: Cast this spell during the waxing moon, which
represents growth, or anytime the moon is in Libra or Taurus, the two
signs ruled by beautiful and abundant Venus.

Casting the Spell

• Using a sticker or a label-maker, create a label for your jar. What’s
 your intention? For instance, I may write “Book Deal.”
• If you like, first sage your mason jar and supplies. Apply the sticker or
label to secure your intention.
• We need to decarb cannabis, just like we did in the Make Your Own
Soothing Post-Sex Topical spell here. Decarboxylation is the process
that activates the psychoactive compounds in the cannabis plant, aka
what gets you high.
• Preheat your oven to 245°F.
• Sprinkle your cannabis on your baking sheet and cover it with
parchment paper.
• Bake for thirty to forty-five minutes. When they’re ready, the nugs
should look golden brown, like beautiful forest treats.
• Take the cannabis out of the oven and set it aside to cool.
• Wrap the decarbed weed in a cheesecloth and tie it with a string. The
green color of the cannabis represents money, which you are
attracting along with career growth.
• Combine the honey and the cheesecloth with the cannabis in your
mason jar and close the lid.
• Place a hand towel on the bottom of the Crockpot and then rest the jar
on top of it.
• Add water to the Crockpot until the jar is submerged.
• Set the Crockpot to low heat for about eight hours. Feel free to go
about your day, checking on it as needed, but it should be A-OK.
• Carefully remove the jar from the Crockpot, and use tongs to remove
the cheesecloth with the cannabis inside. Squeeze the remaining
infused honey out of the cheesecloth into the mason jar.
• Enjoy as desired—alone, on bread or other treats, in tea, or however
you like to sweeten—and grow your career over the next few months.
Throw a 4/20 Taurus Season Abundance
Party

What was once a secret society is now a national holiday. Yes, I’m talking
about 4/20. Legend states that “420” is a cop code for people smoking weed, but
the more credible story comes from Marin County, California, in 1971. At the
height of hippie counterculture, five students at San Rafael High School selected
4:20 p.m. as their smoke sesh meetup because extracurricular activities were
over by that point. Their meeting place was by the campus’s statue of Louis
Pasteur, a French chemist most notable for his breakthroughs in vaccines. He is
known as the “father of bacteriology” and the “father of microbiology” and also
studied wine fermentation. Thus “420” became the kids’ code name for cannabis,
and eventually, one of them, Dave Reddix, landed a job working as a roadie for
the Grateful Dead, and the band and its following helped spread the good news
that 4:20 is an ideal time to get high.
Of course, the date 4/20 is also a celebration and, in cannabis communities, a
full-blown holiday. It’s not a coincidence that the day before—or even
overlapping, depending on your time zone—April 20, is the first day of Taurus
season. Taurus is a luxurious and sensual earth sign that appreciates the world’s
natural wonders, such as cannabis. And Taurus’s ruling planet is Venus, the
goddess of love, money, and abundance. Venus is very supportive of your use of
cannabis for self-care and celebration.
One of the most fantastic things about weed is that, unlike other drugs, it’s
communal. Cannabis is best when shared with friends. So, to honor Venus and
help curate your community, your assignment for this ritual is to have a kick-ass
party. When we take the time to celebrate and recognize the joy in life and our
accomplishments, we tend to attract even more abundance.

Ingredient list: A space to hold a small (or large!) party with friends,
coven members, and loved ones; food, wine, and cannabis

Weed witch wisdom: Throw this on or around April 20, aka 4/20 or the
first day of Taurus season.

Casting the Spell

• People tend to get booked up for 4/20—or too couchlocked to move—
so get your invitations out early. The season before Taurus is Aries,
which is all about action and getting things done. Plan the party during
Aries season.
• While staying on budget, transform your space into an altar to Venus.
Venus loves fresh flowers—and cannabis counts—as well as fruits,
wine, and delicious food. Make sure that your guests have plenty to
munch on.
• Treat your body like an altar to Venus as well, and get dressed up for
the party. Opt for florals or the color green, and even consider trying a
septum ring (you can buy a cuff if you don’t want the piercing) to
channel the bull energy of Taurus.
• Taurus rules the neck, so you need an epic playlist to sing along with.
• Venus also understands that sex is the enemy of death and a
celebration of life, so make love to your crush or partner after the
festivities—or during!
• The final and most important step is to have the time of your life.
 Witch Better Have My Money

Whether you’re a freelancer looking to collect an invoice, a witch in desperate

need of a raise, or a friend to someone who owes you weed, you can make a sigil
to get that cash. A sigil is a magical symbol. There are plenty from various
cultures used throughout occult history, but there’s power in creating your own.
Not only are you going to make your sigil, but you’re going to carve it into a
green seven-day pullout candle and cover it in magical potions.

Ingredient list: Newspaper, a pen and paper, a lighter, joint, bowl, or

preferred method of inhalation, cannabis, a green seven-day pullout
candle (available online or at your local occult store), a coaster, candle-
carving tools (or your ceremonial dagger), green glitter (optional), hemp
oil, optimism

Weed witch wisdom: Jupiter is considered the luckiest of all the planets,
which is why Sagittariuses, who are ruled by Jupiter, tend to be
infuriatingly good at everything. Cast this spell when the moon is in
Sagittarius, or on a Thursday, which is the day of the week Jupiter rules.
Avoid casting this spell when Jupiter is retrograde.

Casting the Spell

• Sit somewhere comfy with all your supplies in front of you. Because
this spell is messy, place newspaper or another protective layer down
to reduce cleanup.
• Meditate. Why are you casting this spell? What is it that you want?
Write it down on a sheet of paper. This is your intention letter.
• Now, reread your letter and boil it down to one sentence. For instance,
 it may say, “A raise is coming.”
• Using the letters in your intention sentence, create your sigil. Pick a
letter, any letter. Let’s start with O. Draw a big O on your paper, and
then cross out every single O in your sentence.
• Move on to another letter. Perhaps you want to draw a big S in the
middle of the O. Do so, and then cross out every S in your sentence.
• Continue until you’ve used every letter in your intention sentence. You
should have a unique symbol comprised of those letters, and it’s okay
if it’s messy.
• Now, light your joint or bowl. Remove the green—which is the color for
money magic—candle from its glass shell. Blow cannabis smoke over
the candle to cleanse it and then blow more into the glass. Place a
coaster on top of the glass to hold the cannabis smoke in while you
work.
• Using your ceremonial dagger or candle-carving tools, carve your sigil
into your green candle. It’s okay if it’s not perfect! The gods will
understand your message. If you like, add your name and zodiac
symbol.
• If you’re using green glitter—or gold works too, as it’s another color for
abundance—sprinkle a line of glitter across the newspaper where
you’re working.
• Pour some CBD or hemp oil into your hands and massage it into the
candle. This acts as your money-drawing oil. Roll the candle in the
glitter, if using, until it’s shimmering.
• Now, take the coaster off your glass container, and plop the green
candle back in. If you’re lucky, a witchy billow of smoke will flow out.
• Light the candle. Finish your bowl or joint. When the candle is finished
burning, the spell is complete.
 Career Cure-All Ginger Cake

This recipe is an infused and witch-ified version of a classic ginger cake recipe.
Witches use ginger to attract money and success, but it’s also a medicine that
aids in immunity and helps with nausea. Of course, you know what else helps
with nausea? Cannabis. If you’re a hardworking weed witch, you need your
strength.
Ginger is also associated with the element of fire, which aids us
professionally by offering confidence. It’s associated with the divine masculine
—which we all contain regardless of gender. Ginger also contains terpenes,
chemical compounds responsible for taste and smell that also have medicinal
properties, most famous for their role in cannabis. For instance, both cannabis
and ginger contain linalool, which can relieve anxiety. Goddess knows that any
witch with a day job experiences that.
Enjoy this infused cake to unwind after a stressful day, or even indulge in a
slice for breakfast on your way to work if you can tolerate cannabis in the
morning. It’s your Career Cure-All Ginger Cake, after all. So, whether you want
to attract more money, replenish after a long day, or enjoy an uplifting breakfast
on the go, this magic cake is for you.
Cakes and witches have a history that’s even more perverse than you may
imagine. Perhaps you’ve heard stories of Voodoo queens adding their period
blood to food or drink to enchant a lover. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure this
totally happens, but the use of bodily fluids in cakes actually comes from the
people trying to kill witches. During the seventeenth-century Salem witch trials,
local haters baked “witch cakes,” which looked like spiky bagels, to try and
figure out who was an evil witch. So what was in these cakes? Let’s say that you
have a daughter who is acting strange. She must be cursed by a local witch—
probably the woman you’re jealous of. The only logical idea would be to bake
her urine into a cake and feed it to the suspected witch’s familiar, aka a dog or
pet. They thought the pet would somehow rat on the witch. It didn’t really work
—not that that stopped them from burning witches—but with the power of over
300 years behind us, it’s time to reclaim the cake.

Ingredient list: 9-inch round cake pan, parchment paper, one cup
cannabis-infused vegetable or canola oil, two medium bowls, one cup
molasses, one cup granulated sugar, sifter, 2½ cups all-purpose flour,
one teaspoon ground cinnamon, ½ teaspoon ground cloves, ½ teaspoon
freshly ground black pepper, saucepan, 2 teaspoons baking soda, mixer
or whisk, 4 ounces fresh ginger, peeled, sliced, and finely chopped, two
eggs at room temperature, toothpicks

Weed witch wisdom: Bake this cake when the moon is in Mars, the
warrior planet associated with ginger and the divine masculine. Tuesday
is associated with Mars, so that works too!

Casting the Spell

• Preheat your oven to 350°F.
• Line the bottom of a 9-inch round cake pan with 3-inch sides with
parchment paper.
• Gather your cannabis-infused oil. You can make your own; the Levo
Oil and Butter Infuser is a must-have for any kitchen weed witch. If
you live in a legal state, you can also choose store-bought.
• Combine the molasses, sugar, and infused oil in a bowl. Sift together
flour, cinnamon, cloves, and black pepper in the second bowl.
• Bring one cup of water to a boil in a saucepan. Stir the baking soda,
ginger, and molasses mixture into the hot water.
• Gently whisk the dry ingredients into the magic batter. Add eggs and
continue mixing until everything is married.
• Pour the batter into the cake pan.
• Bake for one hour or until the top of the cake feels light and bouncy to
the touch. You can always use the toothpick trick and insert a
toothpick. If it comes out clean, the cake is ready.
• Let your Career Cure-All Ginger Cake cool for at least thirty minutes.
When it’s ready, gently remove it from the pan.
• Enjoy!
 Pot Potion for Quick Cash

While you’re making progress toward your rich life as a weed witch living the
dream, you may sometimes just need some fast cash. There’s no shame in this;
it’s hard to trust anyone who has never struggled. So whether your rent is due
and you’re slightly short or you just really need money for a manicure, try this
Pot Potion for Fast Cash when you need coin and can’t wait.

Ingredient list: A ceremonial dagger (or knife), a clear glass, a cutting

board, fresh ginger, fresh mint leaves, two cups of fresh water, cinnamon,
sugar, a cannabis or CBD tincture, a whisk, the Ace of Pentacles from a
tarot deck

Weed witch wisdom: The waxing moon is associated with growth;

however, because this spell is for when you need money right now,
perform as required.
 Casting the Spell
• Every witch should own a ceremonial dagger. I own two. One is from
a Renaissance Faire and encrusted with a pentagram. The other is
simply an old kitchen knife that I bedazzled. If you don’t have a ritual
dagger, a knife or kitchen peeler will work fine.
• In addition to your dagger, take out a small, transparent glass and
your ingredients. You will need a clean space in your kitchen to work.
• Peel a piece of fresh ginger, which attracts money. Chop up ½
teaspoon’s worth very finely.
• Next, chop up two tablespoons of fresh mint. Like ginger, witches
have used mint for centuries to draw money.
• Add the chopped ginger and mint to your fresh water.
• Add a dash of cinnamon, which attracts abundance.
• Next, add a dash of sugar to draw sweetness.
• Finally, add a few drops of your favorite cannabis or CBD tincture.
• Place the glass—making sure that the bottom is dry so that you don’t
hurt your tarot card—on top of the Ace of Pentacles. The Ace of
Pentacles represents brand-new financial opportunities, which often
appear out of nowhere.
• Let the glass sit on top of the Ace of Pentacles for five minutes. In
numerology, the number five is associated with good fortune.
• Say aloud, “Quick cash; come to be; thanks to abundant plants; so
mote it be.”
• Drink your potion fast like you’re taking a shot.
 Magic Money Dancing

Creativity tends to come naturally to weed witches. However, from time to

time, we all need to summon some. Creativity comes in handy whether you’re a
schoolteacher, a firefighter, or an artist. The connection between cannabis and
creativity appears extremely obvious. How many of your favorite songs are
about weed? But the current research is a bit more nuanced; it says that cannabis
can help with creativity, but not if you overdo it. I’ve had breakthroughs on
microdoses, so I suggest trusting yourself: it’s not like dancing around stoned for
a summoning spell is all that dangerous.
Cannabis also pairs delightfully with dancing, but so does witchcraft. From
the epic final scene in The Witch, when (spoiler alert) our hero leaves her
prideful Christian father to dance naked in the woods with the devil to the
Voodoo ritual dances meant to drive away evil spirits, witches know how to get
down.
Because in witchcraft, as with cannabis, you often need science on your side,
note the power of stoned dance to summon creativity has research behind it.
When used at the correct dosage, research suggests that cannabis promotes
divergent thinking, or the brain’s ability to connect seemingly unrelated topics.
Cannabis also lowers inhibitions, helping one to get into the groove. And there’s
research that says dancing helps boost creativity simply by making you feel
happier. So let’s get you out of that rut, call upon some new ideas, and shake our
booties while taking bong rips.
Oh, and you’re going to be working with Satan. Fun!

Ingredient list: Some speakers or headphones and weed

Weed witch wisdom: You’re busy. So for this spell, make a short playlist
at least 6 minutes and 66 seconds—so 7:06—long. You may have heard
the number 666 associated with the devil. Well, 666 is called the “number
of the beast” in chapter 13 (another evil number!) of the Book of
Revelation of the New Testament. We all contain some beast, and
dancing is an excellent way to get it out. The number 666 is also the
magic sum of a six-by-six magic square, with any row or column adding
up to 111. In magical practices, 666 is an Angel Number, or a number you
see as a message from the divine to remind yourself that you’re on the
right path. And that’s not to mention 666 Fifth Avenue, which was bought
for $1.8 billion in 2007 in the most expensive real estate deal in New
York’s history as of this writing. So, while billionaires can be evil, we are
in the money chapter of this book and it’s time to embrace it. Finally,
slightly over seven minutes is just long enough to get a workout in but not
wreck your schedule.

Casting the Spell

• Queue up your playlist.
• Get high.
• Dance like the entire world is watching, witch, and let the ideas flow.
 Virgo Lessons for Future Cannabis
Entrepreneurs

The cannabis industry is worth billions upon billions of dollars. There are
injustices to be fixed, but there is also money to be made, and if you’re qualified
and have the drive, you might as well shoot your shot. More weed witches are
welcome. This ritual, led by Virgo, is to help guide you on your path to
becoming a cannabis entrepreneur.
Virgo is an earth sign that corresponds with money and the cannabis plant.
It’s both the healer of the zodiac and the hermit. The tarot card associated with
Virgo is the Hermit, which is why it’s used in this spell. The Hermit indeed
depicts a hermit, off in the woods, whose way is lit only by a lantern. The lantern
doesn’t illuminate his whole path but helps him get to the next step. In readings,
the Hermit often depicts taking a sabbatical—perhaps for research or finding a
mentor. The Hermit is very connected to nature. He may travel only one step at a
time, but he has the wisdom to understand that he’s on the right path.
Asking advice on starting a cannabis business is like asking how to date. I
don’t know—first, what do you want? A cannabis farm and manufacturing
facility, complete with a monogamous relationship? Or a CBD beauty brand, and
you’re so poly that you don’t have time to sleep? You need Hermit time to figure
out where your interests lie.

Ingredient list: A rose bouquet with baby’s breath, two flower vases,
water, the Hermit card from a tarot deck, a pen and paper, string, a
hanger

Weed witch wisdom: Cast this spell on a Wednesday, which is the day
corresponding to messenger Mercury, Virgo’s ruling planet.
 Casting the Spell
• Buy a classic bouquet of roses with baby’s breath. Baby’s breath is a
sweet flower of beginnings associated with Virgo. Meanwhile, roses
are potent forces who know who they are and mark grand occasions.
• When you get home, divide the roses and baby’s breath. Put them
both on your altar, in separate vases with water. In the middle,
between the two, place the Hermit card.
• Sit in front of your altar and meditate for six minutes. Your prompt:
“What do I want to do in the cannabis industry?” Virgo rules the sixth
house of the zodiac or the house of health, a very humane part of our
chart that helps us navigate wellness and abundance. Try not to think
about any one thing too hard; instead let thoughts float across your
mind like feathers. Psychic downloads and a deep understanding of
your role in the industry will come. Jot them down when they do.
• When the meditation is over, keep your flowers in their vases until
they show any sign of wilting. Then, remove them, tie up their ends
with the string, and hang them upside down from hangers to dry.
When the flowers finish drying, save them in your apothecary for use
in future money-drawing and career spells.
 NO 5

STONED SPELLS FOR

PROTECTION & HEALING

Most weed witches know this by now, but unfortunately, bad things do happen
sometimes. You can get busted for smoking weed and have it affect your career;
you can turn into a jealous manic; you can experience burnout in your creative
life; etc. There are spells in this section for all of that and more. Weed witches do
not stick their heads in the sand and pretend like the world is perfect. Nor do
they assume they are safe, their community is protected, their heart won’t get
broken, or they won’t get fired. Yes, that’s dark. Welcome to the goth side of
witchcraft. Witches identify their enemies—whether they’re toxic exes or inner
demons—and cast healing and protection spells. Witches aren’t afraid to show
some teeth or take a day off to do nothing. And weed witches get to do it stoned.
 Safer Sex Fire Cider

Being an adult is not easy. So, even when it comes to the fun stuff like sex,
weed, and witchcraft, we have to be smart. Now, most of the stigma surrounding
STIs is unwarranted and uncool, but still, it’s okay if you’d rather not catch
anything. So always practice safer sex, which means communication, testing,
condoms, and other barriers. But, because we are weed witches, let’s make this
safer sex thing more fun with some Fire Cider.
Fire Cider is a magical tonic meant to ward off illness and keep you feeling
healthy. This weed witch version of a classic recipe includes CBD oil, which is
an anti-inflammatory and can also help you keep your immune system in tip-top
shape.

Ingredient list: Knife, cutting board, one onion, one garlic clove, ½ cup
horseradish, one orange, one lemon, two quart-size mason jars, ¼
teaspoon cayenne pepper, one tablespoon fresh ginger, one tablespoon
fresh-ground black pepper, ¼ teaspoon turmeric, honey, one to two
quarts of apple cider vinegar, one bottle (one ounce) of full-spectrum
CBD oil, cheesecloth or fine strainer

Weed witch wisdom: The CDC recommends getting tested for

chlamydia and gonorrhea once a year, but if you’re sexually active and
have multiple partners, please get tested once every three months for
everything. And magically speaking, take this tonic whenever you feel
under the weather or like you need a boost.

Casting the Spell

• First things first: Follow the weed witch wisdom above. Get tested
 regularly, talk to your partners about their status, and always carry
safer sex barriers. There are also medications, such as birth control,
Valtrex, and PrEP, which may benefit you depending on your lifestyle
and STI status, so talk to your doctors about the best plan for you.
• Finely chop the onion, garlic clove, horseradish, orange, and lemon.
• Scrape them into the bottom of your mason jar. As you do, whisper,
“Keep me healthy, keep me safe, keep me smart while on a date.”
• Add the cayenne pepper, ginger, freshly ground pepper, and turmeric
into the jar. Once again, whisper the incantation above.
• Squeeze in a dollop of honey.
• Cover the plant medicine in apple cider vinegar, leaving two inches or
so of space at the top. Say the incantation one final and third time.
• Now, pour your ounce of CBD tincture into your potion.
• Screw on the top of the mason jar. Shake, shake, shake it up!
• Using your cheesecloth or strainer, pour the potion into the second
mason jar, so you get all the witchy goodness in a smooth potion.
• Dance around with your magic potion until it feels ready.
• Store your Fire Cider in the fridge. It will stay fresh for one month.
Take one tablespoon daily to boost the immune system, and three if
you’re feeling under the weather.
 Summon Social Equity

Many people are making money from legal cannabis, but there are still 40,000
people in prison for cannabis offenses. In addition, Black folks are nearly four
times more likely to be arrested for possession than white people, even though
research shows that both races tend to use cannabis equally. And remember,
racism toward both Black people and Mexican immigrants played a critical role
in cannabis prohibition in the first place.
The witch has always been the activist. If you choose to call yourself a witch,
you must accept this responsibility. Whether it has been enslaved people simply
trying to practice their African religions, abortion providers, or women suspected
of being lesbians, it’s always been the marginalized or those fighting for them
who have been burned. That means it’s on all of us to stick up for each other and
stick together.
Social equity simply means giving back to the communities, predominantly
Black folks, who are disadvantaged, such as being disproportionately targeted by
law enforcement. Additionally, due to difficulty getting a job with a criminal
record or simple white supremacy, it’s hard for folks with prior cannabis
convictions to enter the legal industry, even though they often have the
experience and knowledge! As a result of these factors working together, only
one in five cannabis businesses in the United States is BIPOC-owned.
Consult the activism section of this book for more on how you can help fight
for social equity. Ideally, this means buying from Black businesses and hiring
BIPOC folks. And, of course, voting for candidates who integrate social equity
into their cannabis platform.
But you should also remember that pen and paper are one of the most
powerful tools in a witch’s arsenal, and often the best thing you can do is
connect with someone personally. So keep reading because we will summon
social equity by getting you a pen pal.
Ingredient list: White paper, white envelopes, stamps

Weed witch wisdom: Don’t wait for a moon phase for this spell; begin as
soon as possible.

Casting the Spell

• Get yourself a pen pal. Head to the Last Prisoner Project, a cannabis
reform nonprofit with a pen pal program. Sign up and get a pen pal.
• Take an oath. This isn’t a random Tinder match; it’s a person serving
time for what you’re smoking. There’s no ghosting allowed. You need
loyalty and commitment to have a pen pal. Before you begin writing,
say three times, “The world is unfair, fuck racism and D.A.R.E., with
my letter I shall brighten a day, may my new friend get out right away.”
• Start writing. Check the Last Prisoner Project’s writing guidelines
because, as you imagine, prisons can be strict about precisely what
their captives can receive. For example, you must use white paper
and a white envelope (boring, right?).
• In your letter, be yourself. Tell your pen pal about you and your life.
(Of course, this is a stranger, so only include the personal details
you’re comfortable with.) Prison is a lonely place, and it’s great to
meet a new friend. Also, when you open up, it creates a safe space
for them to do the same.
• Include things like pop culture references and updates on the
cannabis industry. There is often limited access to information inside
prison.
• When they write you back, please read it and reciprocate. If there
should come a time when the relationship must end, you will both
know it. But remember, you took an oath and must maintain this
commitment.
 Create Your Cannabis Coven

Personally, I don’t like to judge other people’s substance selections, but

cocaine is a hell of a drug. It can turn you into a shark bent over a mirror alone in
a bathroom at a party, ready to come for anyone’s family if they try and take a
line away from you. Pot’s not really like that. The plant likes to bring people
together, from an infused meal to the puff-puff-pass ritual. Practicing weed
witchcraft on your own is likely most of what you’ll end up doing, so it’s worth
it to start a coven to bring weed witches together every Sabbat. Goddess Mary
Jane demands it.

Ingredient list: Someone willing to host at their home or apartment, a

rose quartz pipe, and cannabis

Weed witch wisdom: The new moon marks new beginnings. Send an
email out to all your potential coven members on the next new moon.
 Casting the Spell
• Who do you know that likes weed and witchcraft? Write down the
names of everyone who gives a good vibe (be inclusive!).
• Send an email inviting them to join your weed witch coven. (Please
choose whatever name you like for your group.)
• Plan to meet at each Sabbat (witch holiday)—see the High Holidays
section here for a full breakdown.
• Once you confirm who’s in, find a member willing to host. You can
also rotate hosting duties.
• Each Sabbat, one member can volunteer to lead the group in a ritual.
When it’s your turn, get into it and have fun!
• You will need a rose quartz pipe, which can be found all over the
internet or at your local wellness shop. Rose quartz represents sweet
love, with an emphasis on self-love and friendship. It’s the perfect
coven crystal.
• Take turns bringing weed, or have whoever hosts supply it. Pass
around the peace pipe to open and close the circle. Additionally, when
you go around the group to share, whoever holds the pipe gets to
speak. If other people want to indulge when it’s not their turn, they
should do so, but not with the coven rose quartz pipe.
• Make sure to follow through on the commitment that comes with
creating a coven, and have fun with your new badass brigade.
 Smoke Screens

In war, a smoke screen refers to a literal screen of smoke designed to obscure,

confuse, or mislead an enemy. In relationships, this term is often used in
conjunction with gaslighting—which is not what this spell is about. For instance,
a cheater may use a “smoke screen” to convince their partner that they were out
having drinks with buddies and not with the mistress. But we are not loser
cheaters or nonmagical civilians. No, this is a smoke screen for weed witches
only.
Even if you’re not in military combat, you are at war. There are probably
people after your job or crush, or perhaps you have an unfortunate number of
Twitter trolls. After visualization, one of the most essential tools a witch can use
is a protective aura. Using your power, you can create a shield from the inside
out to protect yourself from all enemies and haters. Plus, because we’re not just
witches, but weed witches, our protective aura does come with an actual smoke
screen. Life can certainly feel like a battle, so let’s blaze.

Ingredient list: Somewhere comfy to sit, cannabis, rolling paper, and

lighter

Weed witch wisdom: The full moon is the most powerful time to cast a
protection spell. This works best under cover of night, ideally in view of
the moon. However, if you feel under attack or have a lot of stress, you
can make this work anytime.
 Casting the Spell
• Sit somewhere comfortable, such as on a pillow, yoga mat, or floor
(some people enjoy hard surfaces).
• In front of you, with intention, place your cannabis, rolling paper, and
lighter. If you’re not the best at rolling joints—and don’t worry: plenty
of weed witches are too messy to roll their own—I suggest buying
pre-rolled cones, such as from the brand RAW. You simply fill up the
cone, it looks and works like a perfect joint, and no one will notice the
difference. You can also opt for pre-rolls from a brand or dispensary
ready to smoke.
• As you’re rolling—or, if you’re using a pre-roll, holding it in the palms
of your hands—state, “I am safe from your prying eyes, protected
from your insecure heart; you can do me no harm. As I light this joint,
the smoke screen starts.”
• Also while you’re rolling, or at least three minutes before you inhale,
begin an intentional cycle of breaths. Take a tip from the military,
keeping on the theme, and try the box breath, which is also beloved
by witches. Inhale for four. Hold for four. Exhale for four. Hold for four.
Repeat until you feel as confident yet calm as an honored soldier on a
mission.
• When you’re ready, inhale the joint. Sit for as long as you feel
comfortable; trust your instinct from here on out regarding your
breathing. As the smoke fills your lungs, imagine a diamond inside
your heart. It’s the hardest mineral. The cubic lattice of a diamond is
 perfectly symmetrical in every direction, and as a result, diamonds
scatter light waves fit for a gorgeous protection shield.
• Exhale. As you do, let out some stress, honey.
• Inhale again. Now, imagine the diamond growing and spreading
throughout your body. Take as long as you need, but in just a few
minutes, you should imagine your entire interior self made of
beautiful, expensive, strong as hex diamond.
• When you’re ready—the end of the joint is always a good sign—finish
your meditation. The smoke surrounding you may dissipate, but that
diamond shield is forever. Remember your diamond smoke screen
next time you feel threatened, scared, or insecure. You are stronger
than your enemies.
 Charm an Ashtray (House Blessing)

Witches understand how hard it is to trust someone. Thanks for that, trauma.
But with time, cannabis, a good therapist, and witchcraft, you can transform your
trust issues into fearsome protection spells. Your home is your sanctuary.
Regardless of how much Leo is in your chart, you’re a fierce lion and must
protect your territory. So turn an ashtray, a required and discreet object for any
cannabis enthusiast, into a house blessing charm to defend yourself, your loved
ones, and your weed.

Ingredient list: A blue ashtray, protection incense (available online and

at your local occult shop), an incense holder

Weed witch wisdom: Let’s look to Mars, the warrior planet and god of
war, for the timing of this spell. Mars will fight for your life. Mars rules
Tuesday, making it an excellent day of the week for the charm. Avoid
performing it while Mars is retrograde.
 Casting the Spell
• Pick out a blue ashtray. Blue is the color of protection, as noted as its
use in the evil eye. Of course, you can collect as many ashtrays in as
many shapes, colors, and designs as you please, but your house
protection ashtray should be blue.
• For once, we’re going to light something that isn’t weed. Pick up some
incense sticks for protection, purchased online or at your local occult
shop.
• When you’re alone, put the incense in your incense holder and light it.
Then, hold the ashtray over it—don’t worry: it’s meant to withstand
smoke—and gently let the protection incense flow over it, casting a
protective spell. This is now more than an ashtray. It’s a charm to
protect your home and ensure that only people worth your time hang
out and get high. Ashtrays are fireproof, and anyone who knows a fire
sign knows that this also means drama-proof.
• When it’s in use, remember that ashes are alchemy themselves. They
are the result of the four elements meeting: air (breath), fire (your
lighter), water (required to grow the cannabis), and earth (the herb
itself).
• Empty and clean the ashtray after each use. Treat your house
protection ashtray with respect and your guests will too.
 Soak Away the Sads with a CBD Salt
Bath

You know the iconic Three of Swords in the tarot? It usually depicts
heartbreak, and the illustration is a heart with three swords slicing through it.
We’ve all been there. It’s okay to feel sad sometimes. Weed witches may be
prone to sadness, but only because we experience everything so profoundly,
including joy. So make your own CBD bath salts, which cleanse your body of
toxins and relax your muscles, to soak away the sad with this bath magic ritual.

Ingredient list: A zester, one orange, one lemon, measuring cup, ½

bottle (0.5 ounces) of CBD oil, ¼ cup liquid coconut oil, 10 drops
lavender essential oil, four cups Epsom salts, large mason jar, candles of
your choice (optional), cannabis of your choice (optional), and pink rose
petals if you’re feeling extra

Weed witch wisdom: Perform this spell while the moon is in a water
sign, whether caring Cancer, playful Pisces, or sensual Scorpio. New
moons, which are times for new beginnings, also work well.

Casting the Spell

• Using a zester, shave the zest off of the orange and lemon.
• In a measuring cup, pour out 0.5 ounces of CBD oil. Add your liquid
coconut oil to the same measuring cup until you reach the quarter cup
mark.
• Add ten drops of lavender essential oil.
• Combine the Epsom salts, citrus fruit zests, coconut oil, CBD oil
mixture, and lavender essential oil. Mix well until married.
• You can store your magic CBD salts in a large mason jar. Both
stoners and witches love mason jars, so they’re ideal for a weed
witch.
• To prepare your bath ritual, begin by setting up and lighting any
candles you would like to use. They will help purify and cleanse the
space while also setting the mood.
• If you’re going to indulge during your bath (as a goddess would),
prepare your cannabis but avoid getting bathwater on it.
• Put on some music. Sadgirl and sadboi playlists are welcome.
• Turn on the water, as hot as you can stand.
• Pour about a half cup of your salts in the bath while the water runs.
• Roses represent love, and pink encourages self-love. So, if you’re
upgrading your bath with rose petals, opt for pink. Scatter them in the
water while you soak your beautiful yet exhausted body.
• Relax in the bath. Stay as long as you need, or until the water cools.
Visualize the salts pulling the sadness out of you.
• When you unplug the drain, visualize your sadness swirling out and
away with it.
• Get a good night’s sleep!
 Stay off Social Media Insecurity
Banishing Spell

Thanks to social media, people all over the world have access to information on
tarot spreads and astrology and can connect with other weed witches. However,
you must understand that social media is also an illusion spell: it’s fun but rarely
authentic. While some celebrities seem to be into posting crying selfies, most of
us present our best and often edited selves online. And comparing yourself to
other witches is like the least of it. If someone claims never to stalk an ex or their
present partner’s former lover, they’re lying. And, while we’re at home, stuck in
our magical brains cursed with overthinking, it’s easy to spiral into unhealthy
comparison modes and feel like shit. That hurts your self-esteem and can reduce
your power. So grab your broomsticks—blunts, that is. With candle magic,
edibles, and positive reinforcement, we’re taking a social media break and
casting a spell to banish insecurities.
By the way, people are looking at your profile and feeling like shit as a result,
too. Don’t forget your own intimidation factor.

Ingredient list: A black candle, an edible, the ability to put your phone
away, a few hours off work, sage, a lighter, a pen and sticky note

Weed witch wisdom: The waning moon, which represents undoing,

cleansing, and removal, is the perfect time for a social media cleanse.

Casting the Spell

• First, let’s get realistic. Some of us have to maintain a social media
presence for work. How long can you take off? A month? A week?
Three days? One day? Three hours? All of these are valid.
• Also, while we’re being realistic, think of a small present, such as
earrings, ice cream, or a dab rig, that you want and can afford without
stressing your budget.
• Next, let’s get you a black candle. In color and candle magic, witches
use black for protection. Sometimes people say black candles are
“black magic” and nothing but trouble, but that’s an outdated
perspective. Match your candle size to the duration of your cleanse. If
you can take a week off, buy a seven-day candle available online or
at your local occult shop. If you’re taking a shorter break, get a regular
pillar or tealight candle, and don’t stress too much if the timing isn’t
perfect. Magic is meant to be messy.
• Eat an edible. Adjust the dosage according to your tolerance. Five mg
is usually a safe starting dose. Edibles take anywhere from thirty
minutes to three hours to take effect. You should feel the blissful,
psychic body high as you begin your spellwork.
• Turn off your phone. Let your loved ones know of another way to
contact you in an emergency. Put that thing into airplane or do-not-
disturb mode, or just turn off notifications for all social media apps.
However you can bring yourself to do it, do it.
• Light some sage. Run the smoke over your phone, yourself, and your
black candle and lighter.
• Put your phone away somewhere out of sight.
• Sit down somewhere comfortable, holding your black candle.
• Enjoy a few breath cycles, making sure that you exhale longer than
you inhale. Try inhaling for four seconds and exhaling for eight.
• When you feel calm, say, “Through my power, and beauty too, I
banish social media insecurities, and fuck my high school enemy
[adjust this as necessary] too.”
• Light the black candle. Remember to practice fire safety and snuff it
out if you leave the house. When it’s done burning, your insecurity-
banishing spell is complete. Your social media cleanse should also
end around this time.
• The sticky note and pen are for positive reinforcement, which is so
much more fun than negative reinforcement. Put a note on your desk.
For each hour or day you succeed in staying off social media, give
yourself a check. When you meet your goal without slipping up, buy
yourself the present you picked out earlier.
 Clean Away the Decay

Every time you inhale, you leave traces of your magic and your cannabis in
your smoking device. You joyously pass around a bong at parties, sharing but
also picking up every guest’s germs and energy. Even a solo blissful bubbler hit
connects to the past. Plus, your gorgeous bongs, colorful bubbler, and
memorable college pipe get dirty with resin. When we talk about resin in the
form of manufactured concentrates, such as what’s smoked in dabs, they’re rad.
But the resin left in the bottom of your bong is low in THC and filled with
nastiness that you don’t want in your body. Regularly cleaning your tools also
helps them last longer. So let’s learn how to properly clean your weed witch
supplies while removing built-up bad and old vibes.

Ingredient list: A vape to enjoy while you work, your dirty paraphernalia
(loved pipes, bongs, and bubblers), black latex or nitrile gloves, a place in
your kitchen where you can get messy, a set of cannabis cleaning tools,
which can be purchased online or at your local head shop (or pipe
cleaners and a bobby pin can work), a large ziplock bag, isopropyl
alcohol (rubbing alcohol available at your pharmacy—if you don’t want to
use alcohol, for reasons between you and your god, swap it out for water
mixed with lemon juice), salt, perhaps even your sink or some other giant
cauldron

Weed witch wisdom: The waning moon phase would be best for this
spell as it is a time of removal. However, according to Rolling Stone, you
should clean your tools as often as once a week. You can decide the
timing that’s right for you.

Casting the Spell

• Let’s opt for a vape for this spell. Unlike a joint, which requires
ashtrays, it won’t make a mess. But still, you deserve to whistle while
you work.
• Snap on those black nitrile gloves, Dr. Weed Witch. Black is a color
for banishing, and the medical-grade gloves will protect your skin
while you clean.
• Get set up somewhere, such as in your kitchen, that can withstand a
bit of a mess. First, over a cutting board or some other surface, use a
small metal tool from your cleaning supplies (or your bobby pin) to
scrape as much resin off your tools as you can by hand. Think about
scraping away the stress of the week as you do.
• Now it’s time to utilize that hard-core alcohol you picked up. (It’s not
for drinking. If you must get crossfaded while you work, opt for a low-
alcohol wine.) If you’re cleaning a smaller pipe or bubbler, place it in a
large ziplock bag filled with isopropyl alcohol and a dash of salt. While
extreme cases need to sit overnight, the resin should start to extract
in a few hours. Check on it once an hour. As it soaks, notice the
process. Feel the residue of the past week soak away and leave you
feeling renewed. For more giant bongs, use a cooking pot or sink
rather than a ziplock bag. Turn it into a cauldron by filling it with
isopropyl alcohol and salt. Baptize the bong by lowering it into the
cauldron.
• Rinse thoroughly with lukewarm water to remove any remaining
cleaning supplies or residue.
• Congrats! Your spell is complete, and your tools are recharged and
sparkly new. For extra oomph, use full moon bong water for your first
smoke after cleansing!
 Cannabis Cord-Cutting

Have you ever finally gotten an abusive ex out of your house, set firm
boundaries with a toxic family member, or quit Instagram-stalking your enemy,
only for them to continue to haunt you? It feels like there’s still a connection;
they may appear in your dreams. Real witch talk: There could still be an
energetic connection between you two, and you have to do your part to sever
that. Cutting cords is hard. Checking in on old enemies is addictive, and it’s
normal to have complicated feelings about letting go of someone, even if they
are trash.
Cord-cutting rituals can be done with pure visualization, and indeed, that
crucial occult skill is required for this spell. However, let’s go all out and use
actual cords or, because we’re weed witches, hemp rope. Hemp rope is
extremely strong and powerful. Honestly, we could have made major industrial
strides using it had cannabis not been outlawed by the likes of Harry Anslinger,
who had family ties to William Randolph Hearst, who majorly invested in the
paper, chemical, timber, and petroleum industries. Hemp threatened those
industries. But, now, thanks to the Farm Bill, America can grow hemp again. So
let’s use it to cut cords with whatever meanie continues to haunt you.

Ingredient list: A pillow or yoga mat, a joint, a lighter, an ashtray, several

yards of hemp rope, scissors, hemp milk, a shot glass, a cauldron or
firesafe container

Weed witch wisdom: The waning moon, in which the moon appears to
grow smaller in the sky, is the best time to cast this spell, as this phase
represents removal and clearance.

Casting the Spell

• Tidy up your room, stoner. Just kidding (mostly), but you want to have
a calm, peaceful, welcoming environment for this spell. Open a
window to help release bad vibes—and stop your neighbors from
snitching on your joint smoke.
• Sit somewhere comfy on a pillow or yoga mat, and set your supplies
in front of you within reach.
• Light your joint and take a few hits to center yourself. What are your
intentions for this ritual? As noted, cord-cutting is often associated
with romantic partners, but you can use this spell for a toxic family
member, former boss, or even annoying intrusive thoughts you
experience.
• Let the smoke billow over you and your supplies to cleanse as you
would with sage or palo santo.
• Ash your joint in your nearby ashtray. We’re not total animals here.
• When you feel it’s time, grab your hemp rope. With one end, bind your
ankles using a loose knot. Remember, keep your scissors close! The
knot represents the negative yet enduring connection with the person
or situation you want to cut cords with. State, “I’m strong as hemp,
you’re a wimp, it’s time for these ties that bind to die.”
• Use the rest of the rope to bind your wrists together, repeating, “I’m
strong as hemp, you’re a wimp, it’s time for these ties that bind to die.”
• This is the hard part: Visualize the toxic person or situation sitting
across from you and the cord that connects you. It may appear nasty
and mean.
• Cut the hemp rope knots on both your ankles and wrists when you’ve
had enough of that using the scissors. As you do this, you can say, “I
banish your influence, cannabis is my incense, you no longer affect
me. I am free.”
• Take a shot of hemp milk. It’s rich in protein, and you need to regain
strength after this. Hemp can also lower the risk of heart disease,
making this potion an extraordinary form of sympathetic magic to
protect the heart.
• Using your cauldron or firesafe container, burn the rope and bury the
 ashes away from your residence. However, if you don’t have access
to a safe place to burn or bury your rope, you can also throw it in the
trash while visualizing it burning.
• The spell is complete! Puff on more cannabis to celebrate.
 Lucid Dreaming with Ancestors

Lucid dreaming is an experience in which you’re not only aware that you’re
dreaming, but you can even control the outcome. Like most things, lucid
dreaming takes place on a spectrum. Depending on your sleep rhythm, life
experience, and chemical consumption, you can experience everything from
“pre-lucidity” to “super-lucidity.” In many traditional cultural groups, such as
the Xhosa of South Africa, such dreams are considered gifts from the ancestors.
They offer healing, guidance, or other knowledge to their descendants. There is
even research that suggests lucid dreaming can help fight trauma for those with
PTSD. While PTSD can come with horrific nightmares, lucid dreaming allows
you to control the situation, which can be an empowering and healing
experience.
While lucid dreaming comes naturally to some, to get it right requires
patience and practice. Some suggest thinking about lucid dreaming before
bedtime. Another trick is to use reality checks. While you’re awake, stop and ask
yourself, “Am I dreaming?” This will help your brain separate the conscious
from the unconscious, and soon you should be able to use this same trick within
a dream to begin lucid dreaming.
And, dear weed witches, herbs are known to promote lucid dreaming,
particularly mugwort. Artemisia, the Latin name for mugwort, comes from the
Greek moon goddess, and as witches know, the wise moon plays a crucial role in
the night, sleep, and dreams. So, with the help of plant magic and ancestors, let’s
get you lucid dreaming to conquer your trauma.

Ingredient list: Cannabis, dried mugwort, rolling papers or a pipe, a

dream journal

Weed witch wisdom: The full moon tends to bring up wild and primal
dreams, so try this spell first during a full moon. If you can do so during a
full moon in Pisces, the most psychic sign of the zodiac, even better.

Casting the Spell

• You know your body better than anyone. For some, cannabis acts as
a sleep aid; for others, THC can keep you up. So before bedtime, as
part of your unwinding ritual, pack a bowl or roll a spliff of cannabis
and dried mugwort. You can split it 50/50 or go heavier on the
mugwort if dreams are your primary goal and cannabis tends to
disrupt your sleep. You can also make mugwort tea and add a CBD or
cannabis tincture to your brew.
• As you enjoy your plant medicine, whisper to the ancestors. This can
be your grandmother, someone cool you discovered on a genetic
testing website, or, if you aren’t feeling the connection with your blood
relatives, a departed celebrity you relate to, such as David Bowie.
Whisper the following incantation three times: “Ancestors, come to
me. Bring me wisdom, in my dreams, heal my trauma, which haunts
me so, I’ll meet you in the afterglow.”
• Now go to sleep. It’s okay if it doesn’t happen right away. Get into the
habit of keeping a dream journal, which can help you remember your
dreams, making it easier to slip back into them and eventually take
control.
 Heal from Trauma with Your Familiar
(Furry Friend!)

There’s a reason why witches are often depicted with black cats. Black cats
represent familiars, which can be any pet of any kind—although cats are great,
and black is handy if you wear a lot of black clothing. Familiars are friends,
confidants, and protectors of witches. Sometimes they are also called demons,
but that doesn’t have to be bad. It’s a sacred relationship. You care for them, play
with them, and love them, and they will take care of you in return.
I’m about to get a bit heavy, but there is evidence that having a pet decreases
the risk of suicide. And of course, cannabis is well-known for treating PTSD
successfully. Six percent of the U.S. population will get PTSD. This figure goes
up for marginalized groups, which many weed witches belong to. Whether or not
you’ve been slapped with an official PTSD diagnosis, if you have an interest in
both witchcraft and cannabis, chances are you most definitely have some trauma,
honey. So, while I encourage you to seek out a therapist—everyone needs one—
let’s do what we can to heal some trauma with your familiar while sillily stoned.
Just watch: with a bit of magic, healing your trauma can be fun.

Ingredient list: One familiar (borrowing a friend’s is totally acceptable),

edibles, catnip (optional), an afternoon

Weed witch wisdom: There’s no right time to find a familiar—you and

they will tend to find one another. Adoption is an amazing route!

Casting the Spell

• The relationship between a witch and a familiar is a two-way street:
you both need one another. So schedule an afternoon off to hang out.
• Get high. Inhaling cannabis smoke can hurt animals’ lungs, so I
suggest an edible for this ritual. Plus, its effects will last for the entire
duration of the afternoon. There is some evidence that CBD works for
anxiety in pets, but that’s between you and your veterinarian. For
humans, cannabis awakens a childlike quality. It gently lowers
inhibitions, which helps you get on your familiar’s level.
• If your familiar is a cat, share the love safely by giving them some
catnip. (By the way, catnip tea is a great way to relax as a human,
too.) You may also opt to give dog treats, a scrap of boiled chicken
(with no seasonings or salt), or whatever your familiar prefers.
• Hang out. Play. Tell them your secrets. Ask them for help. Just give
them your company and some proper pets in return.
• If you experience hypervigilance—an unnecessarily alert state about
the perceived dangers around you and a common trauma symptom—
ask your familiar to protect you each night before bed.
 Banish Jealousy with Roses

Everyone, even the poly people reading this, gets jealous. Maybe the object of
your envy is your coworker who always has time to wash their hair. Or perhaps
your partner’s ex looks a little too pretty on IG for your taste. The truth is, not
only is jealousy normal, it’s also helpful. Jealousy tends to tell us what we’re
insecure about. And in that area, both weed and witchcraft tend to call you out.
But speaking of witchcraft and weed, hail Satan for plant alchemy empowering
us to do something about it!
Alchemy is the process of turning one thing into the other, such as magically
turning pennies into gold. Unfortunately, I don’t know that one, but I know how
to heal jealousy. It is called the green-eyed monster, and it is a monster. The only
way to slay it is to face it.
This spell requires you to be honest with yourself and identify your
insecurities. But it also teaches you how to make a blunt using rose petals. Roses
signify love; red is the color of passion, Mars, and anger. The green of cannabis
is the color of money, jealousy, and healing. Utilizing these qualities, let’s banish
jealousy with roses.

Ingredient list: A pen and paper, a cauldron or firesafe container, lighter,

organic red roses, an oven-safe pan, fresh cannabis flower, a grinder

Weed witch wisdom: Banishing work is best performed during the

waning moon phase.

Casting the Spell

• Before you can enjoy gratitude journaling, let’s get that hate and
jealousy out. Both are normal emotions, and you’re allowed to
 express them. Write down all of your jealousies, insecurities, or
anything that’s pissing you off.
• Put that list in your cauldron or firesafe container and burn the
motherfucker. Safely throw out the ashes.
• Grab your organic, gorgeous red roses. Pluck three rose petals that
seem ready to experience alchemy.
• Turn your oven to broil.
• Line the three petals on the oven-safe pan, overlapping them.
• Place the pan in the oven for ten seconds. The rose petals will come
out appearing darker, like dried blood.
• Remove them from the oven and set up shop somewhere to roll your
spliff. Lick the bottom of each red rose petal to help them bind, and
then arrange the three petals in a straight row.
• Put your rose rolling paper back into the oven, still at broil, and heat
the petals for ten more seconds.
• Take them out and let the petal papers rest for two to three minutes.
You want them firm but still flexible enough to roll into a spliff.
• Grind up your weed and place it in the middle of your rose paper.
You’re going to roll a rose blunt next, so props to those with blunt-
rolling experience.
• Begin tightly rolling where the bottom of the petals are, tucking to
keep the weed inside the roses.
• Your oven is still on broil, so place your anti-jealousy spell spliff on the
pan and let it sit for ten more seconds to firm up.
• Now you can turn off the oven. Take your rose joint out and let it sit for
three minutes.
• Light it and enjoy.
• When you’re finished, take back out your pen and paper. Now, write
down everything that you love about yourself and your life. You can
keep this list if you like and store it in a treasured place.
 Burn Away Burnout, Beautiful

If you want to lounge, you need proper loungewear.

Burnout is real, folks. Unfortunately, the rumors are true. We’re working too
hard, for too many hours, for not enough pay. However, while I have your
attention, please don’t let our government’s economic failings detract you from
living your dreams. You deserve to accomplish what you seek out. But no one
can work without rest. To become the most productive version of yourself, you
don’t need to work more; you need to rest more. Relaxation is crucial to mental
health—and maintaining your magical powers. You’ll find that you are more
energetic and creative when it comes time to work if you allow yourself to rest.
But, to encourage yourself to rest, let’s work with some herbal glamour
magic by creating a ceremonial robe. Traditionally, such robes are black, but you
can use whatever color speaks to you. If money is a concern, try hunting around
on eBay or in a vintage store for great steals on chic loungewear. A robe should
be comfy and flowing, meant to enhance the beauty of the body rather than
cover it. You should also treat your robe with respect, which means proper—and
heightened—storage.

Shopping list: A robe, flower cannabis and a lighter, a safe space to

store your robe (such as your closet or a drawer), cannabis bud, a small
satchel or pouch, edibles

Weed witch wisdom: It would be best to cast this spell ASAP, as you
may need your ceremonial robe daily, or at least weekly, for relaxation.

Casting the Spell

• Treat yourself to a robe. It can be ceremonial black, vintage passed
 on from an ancestor, or even something off eBay from Victoria’s
Secret, depending on your budget. What matters is that it’s comfy and
makes you feel pretty.
• Magically cleanse the robe using cannabis smoke, as you’d do with
sage. Light a joint (yes, you can have some) and gently let the smoke
flow over your garment, just enough to cleanse. Stay far enough away
so that you don’t accidentally burn or cause harm to the fabric.
• Pick out where the robe will live. Find a special spot in a drawer or
your closet. You want to keep it infused with relaxation at all times. So
spare one cannabis bud for the sake of the spell. Place the bud in a
little pouch and tuck it in the drawer or hang it from the hanger or
hook where you’ll keep your robe.
• On weekends, when you’re done with work, or whenever you have
time to relax and fight burnout, put on your ceremonial robe. It’s
glamour magic: when you have it on you are no longer on the clock,
you’re on your own time.
• Cannabis—especially edibles, which I love for this spell—can make
you want to lounge around and not work sometimes. This isn’t a bad
thing; in fact, the plant tells you to take it easy, so lean into that.
Consume cannabis, put on your ceremonial robe, and rest. When
you’re ready to go back to work, you will feel refreshed and renewed.
• The robe will become more powerful the more that you wear it.
 CONCLUSION

Nearly a decade after my first Black Mass, I was walking home to my

Brooklyn apartment from St. Vitus, my local goth music venue. I’d just had my
second date with a gorgeous creature. We spun and danced and kissed to the
Cure, Joy Division, and other legions of darkly beautiful bands, creating a
soundtrack for our love. Thanks to years of cannabis, therapy, and the power of
time, I no longer felt like a shell of a person. Instead, especially that night, I felt
like a fucking rock star.
Much to my dismay, my date and I didn’t go home together that night. While
I may doubt the Rule of Three, my date was apparently adamant about the Three
Date Rule, so I wouldn’t get dicked down until the next time we saw one
another. But as I walked home, high as hell, I felt like I ruled the city, and I
knew, I just knew—like witches do—that this person would be of great
significance in my life.
When I arrived home (alone, to my cats) to my railroad apartment in Greenpoint,
something strange happened. I flopped on my couch, high on the edibles that
were my favorite intake method, especially for dancing. I was incredibly turned
on from all that dancing with the future love of my life. And then, just like that, I
began having spontaneous orgasms, purely through the power of my brain on
drugs. (Where’s the propaganda ad for that?) If one ever begins to have hands-
free cannabis orgasms, you must roll with it, so I not only enjoyed them but also
turned them into a sex magic spell. I visualized myself embracing love and
stepping away from the fear that often held me back. I saw a future filled with
healthy love, abundance, and all the dreams that, once upon a time, I thought I
didn’t deserve. Did my magic work? Well, witch, I’m done with predictions, but
said date and I now have been together for years and live in a skyscraper in
Manhattan together, so I’m guessing that my stoned sex magic worked just
fabulously.
In the years that passed since my first Black Mass, I now have an official
medical card, as PTSD became a qualifying condition for patients in New York
City in 2017. And in 2021, New York became the fifteenth state to legalize
recreational use, with social equity measures built into the bill. By the time this
book is published and you’re reading this, I genuinely hope that so many more
states will have legalized it that this all sounds outdated. One day we will have
federal legalization and prison reform. Our understanding of plant medicine and
psychedelics is just beginning. Even substances such as MDMA are currently in
Phase 3 trials to treat PTSD. You joined the weed witch coven at the right time: a
revolution is brewing.
My personal witchcraft practice changed from the fresh newness of learning
to a continuous stream of integrating magic into my daily life while sharing my
knowledge through books like this. Of course, we have to talk about the hard
things, like the stigma around witchcraft, how the idea of black magic is kind of
racist, and how you should really only date a Sagittarius if you enjoy torture
(kidding!). You’re in the weed witch coven now, and I suggest you start your
own within your community. The world needs more weed witches, and you and
I, my dear, are just the start.
 Selected Sources and Further Reading

“Altered Reality: Witchcraft, Lucid Dreaming and Mystery Spots.” The Not So
Innocents Abroad (blog). July 18, 2018.
https://www.thenotsoinnocentsabroad.com/blog/altered-reality-witchcraft-
lucid-dreaming-and-mystery-spots.
Bauer, Elise. “Fresh Basil Pesto.” Simply Recipes. May 4, 2022.
https://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/fresh_basil_pesto/.
Bossong, Matthijs, Hendrika van Hell, Gerry Jager, Rene Kahn, Nick Ramsey,
and Martijn Jansma. “The Endocannabinoid System and Emotional
Processing: A Pharmacological fMRI Study with [Delta]9-
tetrahydrocannabinol.” European Neuropsychopharmacology 23, no. 12
(December 2013): 1687–97.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0924977X13001958.
Brown, David Jay. “How to Have a Lucid Dream.” High Times. May 17, 2017.
https://hightimes.com/culture/how-to-have-a-lucid-dream/.
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